#‘MONTHS. FUCKING MONTHS MY GOOD MAN!!! PLEASE!!!!’

[star2fishmeg]

more luke x inexperienced reader thoughts/situations please😩😩😩 you just capture it so well

The second his tongue flicked over your clit you were gone. But he was sweet, instantly pulling back when you gasped and jolted onto your elbows, telling him to let you have a few seconds before you both started and your reassurance that it was just a new kind of bliss soothed his nerves. After all, as he'd said, if you wanted to stop, all you had to do was tell him to stop and he would. He couldn't fathom why no man had ever wanted to go down on you, if your lips tasted so sweet and addicting, your words heart-throbbing and your heart so warm it challenged the purpose of the fireplace, Luke believed that the rest of you was just as exquisite.

Now he's devouring you like he's been starved for months. One thigh over his shoulder, hand flat on your lower stomach where his thumb settles above your throbbing clit, ready to pull those whines from you when you're suppressing them. His lips run along the inside of your other, long fingers firmly holding it open to allow his tongue to run over the purple bruises littered over the soft skin, kissing them tenderly as if he'd left them to mark his territory.

He presses his lips to one of the larger hickeys, closing his eyes and taking a deep inhale, his eyelashes fluttering over your nerves, sending those little bursts of ecstasy to your stomach.

"All mine, all fuckin' mine," he murmurs lowly into your skin, voice husky and you watch him visibly exhale and turn back to your pussy, eyes slowly opening to become half-lidded and his breathing tickles over your clit. He's thriving in the way your chest rises and falls deeply, still catching your breath from how he's already run his tongue through you. "You wanna keep going?"

"Yeah...please." You nod, your voice airy and quiet.

The pad of his thumb circles your clit, eyes burning into yours reassuringly as he lowers lips into your folds, eventually breaking the contact to bury his face and lap at your arousal, hot tongue licking through your folds languidly, "No one's gonna know how fuckin' delectable you are, taste like heaven."

His voice vibrates, and you lull your head back, your mouth falling open as if you've lost the ability to control the muscle. Luke removes his thumb and lets his nose bump your bundle of nerves rhythmically. You let little elongated whimpers slip from your throat, hands balling into fists as you adjust on your elbows.

"You like that?" Luke looks up, curls almost shading his eyes, "Baby I can stop, just tell me you wanna stop and I'll-,"

"-Don't stop! God, don't stop," you desperately interrupt with the deep-rooted lust you've been pushing down breaking through, "feels so fuckin' good, Lu,"

He nods and his head dips again, lips pressing against your clit tenderly and sucking, finding pleasure in your wanton moans that ring through his ears.

"Make such pretty noises," you feel his smirk against your cunt, "can't hear you, baby, you're allowed to enjoy it."

And gradually, with every lap your whining becomes louder, needier, freakier until you aren't holding back anymore, especially when his tongue slips deeper inside of you. Your fingers slide into his curls automatically, tugging harshly a heat surges through you, sweat forming on the back of your neck and the sight of him between your thighs, nodding as his hand presses down on your stomach, suddenly creates a tightness inside.

"Do that again, fuck, please." Luke's voice breaks your trance.

"Huh?" you pant.

"Pull my hair again, like when you do that, doesn't hurt m'kay." He rasps before returning to plunging his tongue inside your pussy insatiably.

So, you do. You tug, pull, grip, let your nails rake through his scalp and you push his head further into you and he's relishing in every second of it, his hips rutting into his own mattress to give his dick some sort of friction. You can't believe that you probably would have never known this kind of paradise if it wasn't for Luke. It's his favourite place to hide, to refuge and if you tasted bad, he wouldn't be so close to pulling an orgasm from you.

Throwing your head back with a lazy smile, you close your other thigh around his head, "Yours, all yours, Lu, feel s'good."

"Mhm, pretty pussy's all mine."

He's right. The first and last man to ever taste you, make you ascend with just his tongue alone and God, you could die like this, and you wouldn't be mad. Luke, the only man to have your arousal and cum drip from his face shamelessly, beg for more, a round two on the first time.

[localsharkcryptid]

Alright, time to briefly talk about the scary shit going on right now.

Please for the love of god, do not succumb to the defeatest attitude and apathy, this shit isn't over and we still have two months before there's any change in office officially and alongside that there's a metric fuckton of unknowns. For right now, yeah shits not great, but right this moment we aren't in danger - not yet. Things could change, is it likely? Probably not but let's all fucking consider this man is a fucking felon and we all know that - they could change the rules and shit could change.

But regardless we still have fucking hope, they don't win unless we loose hope and EVERYONE needs to recognize that - hope is the most important fucking tool we have and we can weaponize that shit. We just have to be fucking louder in the future, we can still protest, there's still shit we can do. It's not all lost, I know it's fucking scary, I'm fucking horrified and doing my best to keep it together but we can't all descend into panic right now.

We have to stick together, and by we I mean fucking everyone. Community is how people are gonna get through this, sticking together regardless of whatever is how we will survive. So that means a fuck ton of you need to fucking drop your moral superiority and purity bullshit and GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELVES. EVERYONE IS IN DANGER AND THAT MEANS YOU MORAL PURITIST PEOPLE, THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE SO FUCKING WORRIED ABOUT WHO'S A GOOD PERSON OUT OF STREAMERS OR GOD FORBID THE PEOPLE WHO TOLD OTHERS NOT TO VOTE CAUSE BOTH WERE BAD. GET. OVER. IT. We're all in the same shit show now, none of that trivial fandom drama shit is important, what is important is supporting each other and persisting. We can survive this, we can get through it and we can try and mitigate what damage we can but only if we fucking stick together.

So please, for yourselves and everyone else, be kinder to each other - stop with the bullshit that doesn't matter and be kinder. If you can do something to help, do something, and most importantly protesting is going to be SO fucking important. They can't take that fucking right from us and they sure as hell can't ignore us if we stick the fuck together.

It's not lost, and it's not fucking over. We will survive but it'll be substantially better if we stick the fuck together.

[nolanfa-fanart]

Gen (non-romantic) fics recs: DC, the Batfamily has Issues

Gen (Non-romantic) Fic recs for @genuaryficrecs (and anyone else who likes good fic)

Fandom: DC, batfam Focus: The Bat family has Issues This is the place for comically bad at communication!batfam, oh gosh you have so many issues (affectionate), trauma, etc. Please assume that every "Why I love it" summary is prefaced with "This is one of my fave DC fics. First, it's very well-written. Second, ". List under the readmore.

I'm a Good Pretender, by shipNslash ( https://archiveofourown.org/works/45598369 ) 7/7 chapters, 40.416 words G, No Archive Warnings Apply Main characters: Dick mostly, and Bruce

Official Summary: “You’re doing it again,” Bruce says, tone accusatory. “You’re faking.” “It’s not faking,” Dick snaps, a little more aggressive than he means to be. But he doesn’t like that word, doesn’t like the connotations. (Especially when he knows Bruce is lying about something, too.) “Then what is it?” “It’s called being charming and it’s nice.” -_- Dick’s mother raised her son to be a star. Dick’s father raised his son to be an athlete. Bruce's new ward is charming (manipulative), dedicated (obsessive), and way, way too smart for either of their own good.

Why I love it: This is peak Performer Dick. Smart kid Dick who knows how to make people like him. Hyperactive Dick. And Wet Cat Battinson. Who wouldn't want to see them interact?

Excerpts: "Oh. From the- That is, yes. I'm, uh, I'm Richard's case worker." The boy visibly twitches and she redirects her attention. "Hello, Richard. Are you al- um, How are you feeling?" Alfred almost winces but, instead of withdrawing again or lashing out, Richard does something much, much more distressing. Right in front of Alfred, the boy transforms into someone totally different. His posture shifts, from despondent slackness to a sort of tense hunch, making him look far younger and in much more distress. His expression loses the blankness of shock as his bottom lip wobbles and his eyes well up with big, fat tears. "I wanna go home,” he cries out. “Please, I just wanna go home!" - And Dick is glad that this isn’t their first meeting, because Mister Wayne is painfully, intolerably awkward the whole time. He flinches every time someone addresses him, only makes eye contact with the toes of his scuffed converse shoes, and sneaks out the back door halfway through with Mister Pennyworth when he is very obviously losing a battle against an oncoming panic attack. How did this guy survive being famous, Dick wonders, watching him creep back in like he won’t be noticed if he’s quiet enough.

-- By Any Other Name, by ManURonaldo, part of the Like Father Like Sons series https://archiveofourown.org/works/40244490 1/1 chapters, 4.569 words (part of a 55k series) T, Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings (brief mention of Jason's mom) Main characters: Jason and Bruce (decent Dick, Steph and Tim presence in the rest of the series)

Official Summary: “Have you seen Bruce recently?” Dick asks one night. “Haven’t seen Bruce since the last time I saw you,” Jason responds. He can feel the weight of Tim’s eyes on him though, and it’s grating. “WHAT, Tim?” “You saw him last night,” Tim responds after a moment, flicking his eyes towards Dick. “Literally last night, man.” “Yeah,” Jason responds without thinking, because he hasn’t slept in 58 hours, “I saw Batman last night. I haven’t seen Bruce in a month.” For a moment, there’s complete silence. And then, in an exasperated whisper, Dick says: “what the fuck, Jay?” OR: Jason picks up a little bit more from Bruce than he means to as Robin. It doesn’t go away, not even when he’s Hood. OR: Jason watches Bruce. Tim watches Jason. Dick watches Tim. They all need therapy.

Why I love it: I love that one. I love the way it features Identity Issues. The first story in the series is about Jason and Bruce, and following ones are also about Jason's relationships with Dick, Tim, Steph, and the way those different relationships interact. The Tim and Jason part (in the following stories) in particular goes way deeper than the usual dynamic of resentment for taking Robin / for past violence, and looks at why, now, they might or might not like / understand each other. Each of the batfam members is fucked up in different ways, which I love.

Excerpts: Jason is six years old and sometimes he feels like his dad is two different people in one body. There’s a person in there that loves him and holds him even though he’s too big to be held and makes him breakfast in the morning. And there’s another person in there, too, who thinks Jason is annoying and spoiled and always in the way and a problem. There are signs, is the thing: Jason can figure out who he’s talking to, if he’s quiet enough. It’s about the way the footsteps in the hallway sound, it’s about the label on the bottle in his dad’s hand. Sometimes when Jason enters a room he makes a noise just to see: if he squeaks his shoe and his dad doesn’t notice, it’s his nice dad. If his dad grimaces or glares, it’s the dad that doesn’t like him, and Jason needs to leave. It’s all about knowing who he’s talking to, Jason learns. If he knows who he’s talking to, he can be better about making mistakes.

-- May Tomorrow Never Come, by @lurkinglurkerwholurks https://archiveofourown.org/works/43606872 1/1 chapters, 3.580 words G, No Archive Warnings Apply Main Characters: Jason and Bruce

Official Summary: Jason clawed his way out of the nightmare like a drowning man.

Why I love it: First, I think it is very good, as a fic specifically. All fics live in the soup of canon and fanon facts we absorbed along the way, and you knowing who the characters are and what happens to them in different iterations informs your understanding of them, but this one does it particularly well. Second. It broke my heart. It talks about trust and intimacy and kid/parent relationships and fear and nostalgy and love and. I love it.

Excerpts: The Manor waited outside the door, exactly like it should be. The hallway was quiet and dark, the darkness tight and full, but not scary. He hadn’t been scared here since those first few months, when this place was only a place. He couldn’t be scared at home, no matter how his head spun and his nerves jumped and jittered.

-- Red Letter Day, by @silverwhittlingknife https://archiveofourown.org/works/28988874 9/? chapters, 41,819 words (technically part of a series but can be read as standalone) - WIP, last updated july 2022 G, Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings (some oblique references to the blockbuster plotline) Main Characters: Dick

Official Summary: Dick Grayson, stressed pseudo-parent to a preteen assassin, tries to solve the case of Damian’s Mysterious Wednesday. He never expected it to help him fix his relationship with Tim, too. (… Though only after everything fell apart first.) Eventual fix-it for Dick & Tim’s Red Robin fight, but other rocky relationships - Dick & Jason, Tim & Damian, Damian & Bruce, Dick & Bruce - wow, this family is dysfunctional - might improve too. Eventually. They just have to, y’know, work through All of Their Issues first. XD

Why I love it: The characterization is delightful. Dick tries to hold the world on his shoulders, scrambling to hold everyone together; he's also very much not perfect, and biaised and petty against specific other people. Jason is an antagonistic asshole but he tries. Tim doesn't understand boundaries but means really really well. They love each other very much but they're afraid and they just talk over / through / just to the left of each other. This is a dumpster fire. Also the end notes of each chapter include interesting tidbits about what is canon (with specific runs/issues) which I personally find super interesting.

Excerpts: This is out-of-character: deliberately unprofessional. And it’s definitely deliberate. Dick doesn’t want to second-guess Tim’s first amicable overture in what feels like years. He catches himself doing it anyway. When Tim was fourteen, the faceplant comment might have been spontaneous - just a wry observation, maybe with a quick grin, sharing the joke. But Tim’s older now, and a lot more serious. So this casual remark is actually calculated. So what is this? An attempt to recapture an old camaraderie? Or is Tim covering up a bad mood with a chipper attitude? Or is this another manifestation of Tim’s concern, a test to gauge Dick’s mood? Argh. Or maybe Tim is just being friendly, Grayson.

[ankoluvly]

how likely are the Slytherin boys to be toxic?

Characters: Lorenzo Berkshirs, Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Tom Riddle, Theodore Nott, Mattheo Riddle

Cw: Toxic relationships of course

- ♡ 𝒟𝓇𝒶𝒸𝑜 𝑀𝒶𝓁𝒻𝑜𝓎 ( 6.5/10 )

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Draco is definitely an asshole in the earlier movies and i don’t feel like his attitude would just magically change to much. He’s still stuck up.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . I feel like he’d be more on the possessive side of abuse. he can be sweet and kind to you, but at the same time he gives you almost no freedom and tries controlling your everyday.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He’ll demand to know where you are 24/7 and expects you to tell him everything. He gives death glares to any of your guy friends and so on.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . And don’t get me started on manipulation. he’s the KING of manipulation. he’d make you think that all your worries are just in your head. Or he’d make you think it’s your fault and you’re the problem.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He’d act all sweet and make little jokes that you’re to oblivious to pick up on.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “I own you, don’t i sweetheart?

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “All i do is try to care for you and you get all stuck up with me. Now is that fair dear? All i am is concerned.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Why is everything always my fault? can’t you understand that there’s the possibility of a war right around the corner?”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “You get with me knowing who i am, then try to change who i am. You don’t see a problem with that?”

୨୧

- ♡ 𝐿𝑜𝓇𝑒𝓃𝓏𝑜 𝐵𝑒𝓇𝓀𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓇𝑒 ( 9/10 )

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . My baby Lorenzo is definitely bipolar. You’ll have a few months, or days, or weeks, of peace.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ‘The calm before the storm’

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Lorenzo’s the mind fuck type. He’d most likely only ever lay hands on you in bed, in a kinky way. He’s just love’s to let out random shit that gets you mad.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Also a possessive type. But unlike Draco, he doesn’t care about your self respect. Threaten to break up with him? one of your nudes with just your face blurred out is sent ‘round the school. Or maybe he’ll pay some random guy to pretend to be into you just to fuck with you mentally.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . During arguments it’s insult galore.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Now he’s not always just calm, if he feels you’re gone for good he pulls out the manipulation.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He’ll find a way to ruin every aspect of your love life while manipulating you into thinking he’s changed, he’ll show up to your house with flowers and ‘sad’ eyes: “I’m so sorry baby, please, let’s start over. I love you so much and i just don’t know how to express it, i promise i’ll do better. I’d do anything for you love.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “You’re such a sweetheart hun,”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Break up with me? hm… didn’t you say that ten different times in the past, but you’re still here?”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “If you’re gonna act like a slut i might as well treat you like one.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Really? well i thought you would’ve loved for them to see you half naked with how much you were eating up their attention last night.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Please sweetie, You know i was just mad. Nobody loves you like i do.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “We’re bad for eachother, that’s what make us.. well, us.”

୨୧

- ♡ 𝐵𝓁𝒶𝒾𝓈𝑒 𝒵𝒶𝒷𝒾𝓃𝒾 ( 4/10 )

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . My mans mother raised him right.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He’s such a gentlemen.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He may be a little passive aggressive when upset but overall he knows how to keep his cool. His cold exterior would warm up when it comes to a women, not wanting to make them uncomfortable or feel like a nuisance.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . But just because he respects women doesn’t mean he’s a push over, if you’re a bitch he’ll probably just leave you.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . The most he’ll be ‘toxic’ is just sometimes being a little over jealous and sometimes little insults fall past his lips.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . The best example being when you finally saw one of your long-term friends and you three had dinner (courtesy of Blaise) just for you guys to get in the car after and he’s all moody. He can be a bit of a drama queen at times.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Honestly he’s just so loving most of the time <3

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “You ok?”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Well if you like him so much maybe you should go home with him instead?”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “I’m not mad just… disappointed.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Perhaps we should both just leave each other alone for awhile and calm down.”

୨୧

- ♡ 𝒯𝑜𝓂 𝑅𝒾𝒹𝒹𝓁𝑒 ( 10/10 )

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Is anyone surprised? It’s Tom Riddle we’re talking about.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He likes a woman that’ll have an attitude with others, but you better get rid of that attitude when talking to him.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He’s a silent guy, so it’s easy to take advantage of that and flirt with other guys etc. But there’ll be hell to pay after.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He’s not the type to beg for you to stay with him if you want to break up, because he simply won’t let you go. if he has to tie you down to the bed he will.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He doesn’t care much for your comfort. He’s willing to use you for his plans if he feels it’ll be beneficial. If a guys acting like a creep he still expects you to keep up your act.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Depending on your house, he won’t bother to hide his disgust in himself that he fell for you (especially if you’re a hufflepuff). He won’t even be ashamed about hiding your relationship while the two of you are still at Hogwarts.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He fucks with you by how neutral he always seems. He can say that most hurtful shit to you but have little emotion, as if he was just stating a casual everyday fact.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “You can and Will take it.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “But i didn’t ask you if you wanted to, did i? now go.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “You should be glad i’ve kept you alive. If it weren’t for the fact you’re useful, You would be long dead, ‘hufflepuff’.” (because we all know Mr. Tom Riddle doesn’t admit to loving someone)

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Seems you’ve gotten a little carried away,” *Definitely grabbing you by your face aggressively.* “You can talk to others that way but don’t think you can speak to me, your superior, that way. Be grateful for once.”

୨୧

- ♡ 𝒯𝒽𝑒𝑜𝒹𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝒩𝑜𝓉𝓉 ( 5.5/10 )

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Theo doesn’t necessarily seem like the intentionally toxic type, but he’s like one of those guys that are too ‘nonchalant’.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . I feel like he’d unintentionally come off as bored or cold when you two would be doing something or you try talking to him. Or when you’re trying to get on his nerves but he has almost no reaction.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He’d unintentionally make you doubt your two’s relationship and if he’s happy with it. Which, from personal experience, fucking sucks.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . But if you tried talking to him i feel it may depend on his mood, but genuinely i think he’d take what you said to heart, but still struggle to really change.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . At the end of the day it’s on your preference and if you can deal with a relationship like that or not.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Hah ha very funny,”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “I’m going out with Blaise, maybe later?”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Yeah it’s cool.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “C’mon sweetheart, you know it’s not like that.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “I’ll work on it, promise.”

୨୧

- ♡ 𝑀𝒶𝓉𝓉𝒽𝑒𝑜 𝑅𝒾𝒹𝒹𝓁𝑒 ( 5/10 )

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Mattheo isn’t the type to really be toxic when in a relationship, he’s the type of guy that wouldn’t get in a relationship with someone he doesn’t like. If he just thinks they’re hot he’d hook up with them, no need to get in some committed relationship.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Although he is cocky, and his cocky attitude tends to strain some of his relationship. Though it’s all in light fun, not everyone can deal with it.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He also has a bad habit of not working on his negative traits. Which would also strain your relationship. When you mention any of his negative traits(But can this man have any?) he’d get defensive instead of trying to understand where you’re coming from.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . So like Theo, i feel like it’d depend on your personality and what bothers you. Overall he’d be a pretty lovey boyfriend.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “I would be happy too. Dating *The* Mattheo riddle,”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “C’mon you know you love me,”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . *In some goofy mocking tone* “Why so serious?”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Seriously? you’re being overdramatic and you know it.”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “That’s whats got your panties in such a twist? seriously?”

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Written by ankoluvly, 2024 on tumblr!

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Just wanted to write and post something quickly because i feel shitty not posting anything.

₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . I wrote this before bed then lazily proof-read it in the morning, so sorry about spelling mistakes.

[reallyromealone]

Hi! So I know it’s not allowed but I really want to see a 2p Canada fic from someone from Canada because people never get the Canadian vibe right

Could I request a 2p Canada fic?

I completely get it if it’s a no as it’s not allowed and this is kind of a dick move

Sorry and please consider it

Title: chocolate milk

Fandom: hetalia

Characters: 2p Canada

Fic type: fluff

Pairings: 2p Canada x reader

Warnings: male reader, reader insert, the kids could be mpreg or adopted that's up to you

Notes: I used to love hetalia as a teen and this is my home country... So fuck it fine

Summary: Matt sneaks his kids chocolate milk

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

When having a kid, you make a lot of changes to your daily routine.

(Name) Was asleep on their bed while the Mountie walked around their house in pajama pants and a t-shirt with their seven month old daughter in his arms, a pacifier in her mouth while the man made her bottle "do you want it neat? Or on the rocks?" He teased tired and ready to go back to bed but it seemed like the kid had other plans while reaching towards his dad's scruffy face. "Babababa..." She babbled and Matt stared back at her before scoffing playfully "what? You think it's a Mickey? Hardly!"

Matt was a tough dad, he loved his kids to death but he remembered how he and his brother were as kids... Yeah no.

"Papa..." The voice of his eldest, their sweet four year old son who was holding their tots hand "can we have chocolate milk?"

But sometimes he was willing to give in just a bit "don't tell dad"

"Maple syrup in hot chocolate?"

"Oi, you're a Canadian, we can put maple syrup on anything! Remember the bacon?"

"That was good"

"So don't complain"

After getting all the children to bed, Matt crawled into bed, kissing his lover's cheek and pulling him close "you gave them chocolate milk didn't you" (name) grumbled and turned to cuddle in his chest "I brought you a glass" matt mumbled and (name( huffed "you romantic"

[unexpectedbrickattack]

Proposal: Peppino is a really caring S/O, friend, husband, what have you, but he's really oblivious when someone's interested. No matter how much Gustavo flirted, showed special attention and affection to Pep, our lovely protagonist dismissed it as as Gus being really nice (which to be honest, he is).

Rotating this in my brain bc i am still thinking of how to characterize him in this way so thank u 🧡 This is also why i havent tried to do any real shipping content w him (cause i wanna do more stuff w him and the bosses)😭

🤔🤔🤔 I feel like hes not exactly oblivious. He can read a room and take a hint, but hes a little dense (a little bit!!!!). His indifference/lack of a reaction comes off as being completely unaware but in reality, he is thinking of Other Pressing Matters. Like. When traveling through the gnome forest for deliveries, hes very aware of them being Weird and Friendlier than usual (which in the past, HAS actually translated to some level of flirting) but he doesnt want to look too deep into it bc the forest is Hot and its full of Bugs and it makes him Itchy and Sweaty and hes Tired from delivering everything ON FOOT bc his stupid scooter and car cant drive on fucking GRASS.

Like hes Aware but he doesnt pay it any mind. Two to three strangers being sweet with him? Yeah sure that makes sense i guess. He’ll entertain them :) But like, the MAJORITY of his customers in this forest being equally weird and friendly? Maybe gnomes are just Like That. Gustavo is clearly a weird and friendly little guy. Dont think too hard about it 😊👍🏾 Hes got other shit to worry about.

So honestly Gus would be in hell trying to woo this fuckin man 😭 Not because hes not trying hard enough, and not bc Pep is so completely oblivious, but bc in this specific instance, Peppino is just a man stressed about 40 different things all at once, and allocating ANY of that brain power to determine if his friend it flirting or being friendly when Gustavo is just known to be very friendly to everyone is a waste of his precious, LIMITED mental energy 😭

[ravenpureforever]

So guess who finally watched JJK

[christiangeistdorfer]

HENRI TOIVONEN, JUHA KANKKUNEN, CHRISTIAN GEISTDÖRFER, TIMO SALONEN & MARKKU ALÉN in a lift while waiting for WALTER RÖHRL during the 1986 RALLYE DE PORTUGAL

[squisheebugdoodles]

Okay Here Is The Problem: everything costs money and yet money is something that i just literally never have. solution? kill the idea of money so that nothing costs anything Please. i'm so tired

[a-usernamelol]

OH MY GAWD WHAT DA HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLL

I’ll delete this in the morning

[tamaharu]

i hate trying to find a job i hate trying to find a job i hate trying to find a job

[cavity-collector]

i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit

[time-is-restored]

more whinging bc i got negative hours of sleep last night and i need to stay awake somehow lol

cw: discussions of misogyny + abuse

god the more i think abt it the more exhausted i get by the gender politics of ted lasso.

like god i do genuinely think that rebecca's arc in s1 is one of the best depictions of a mean + cruel woman ive ever seen on TV specifically bc it manages to thread the needle so well? like they never tilt her balance too much and doom her to being either totally fucked up + evil OR totally soft and sweet and harmless. and ted's 'divorce makes u crazy' response to her apology STILL makes me crazy wrt the sheer. understanding and empathy there, and she's just. given so much more depth than ive come to expect, especially for an ensemble cast sitcom w a (then) p short run time.

but my fucking god. we literally don't learn a fucking thing about michelle. im pretty sure the one (1) concrete thing we know about her comes in the fucking finale, and it's that she's a teacher for... something. the two most important people in ted's life and we don't know anything abt them! they're literally just empty symbols representing the importance of Family™, and that vacancy does nothing but weigh ted's storyline down!

like, i liked michelle's episode/storyline in s1, bc the blinding novelty of a woman instigating a divorce not being the Actual Devil, as well as a just. generally very empathetic + nuanced take on how divorce shakes out between two ppl who really care for each other, was so 'WAIT TV CAN DO THIS??' that i felt satisfied with that being Her Arc™. divorce happens, life happens, people fall out of love, and it hurts but its ultimately okay. the show, at the time, was ultimately abt a football club and how caring abt that football club helped everyone around it.

but then the show sticks around, and her continued absence just... raises a lot of questions? how did the conversation abt ted going overseas happen? what conversations did they have abt henry? how long term was it intended to be? did money really not factor into it all? like it's one thing for a character's backstory to be vague when it's not really the focus of attention (s1 was ultimately rebecca's story before anyone else's), but when it's the load bearing stone of their '''''''arc''''''' in s3...????

like. god. and then it fucking infects every other woman on the show!

sassy + nora? well sure we'll give you a softball - you can have one (1) scene where a woman is able to resolutely and firmly reject a man asking her out without immediately being seen as cruel or gameplayey (not that the audience will see it that way! she's already a lecherous temptress for them!), but neither of them will ever be able to speak to rebecca onscreen again, even after the heart-wrenching scenes in s1 CLEARLY establishing them as a beating heart of rebecca's arc.

shandy? nope, don't even think abt her motivations/drives, just forget her. simi? LMAOOO imagine a black woman getting a personality beyond righteous anger. jack? three-four episodes, and we learn so little abt her that her conflict with keeley - which SHOULD'VE have been a huge emotional beat - just feels like a kick in the teeth (and while, yes, i absolutely agree that in a real world context, jack's rejection of keeley would be largely motivated by class, in Ted Lasso Land™ rebecca is just as rich - if not richer? - and we're never once encouraged to interrogate her priorities).

barbara's the one that really makes me miserable, bc i feel like on a show with less run time, she could've played REALLY well. she's a great contrast to keeley, has an amazing delivery, and the scene where keeley + her first discuss the snowglobes shows that she has the potential for some really moving vulnerability + pathos. but instead they give SO many of keeley's scenes to characters who ultimately get written out, so when barbara stays it's like... okay? sure? like, i was so stoked that barbara survived the Mass Exodus of side characters that i didn't wanna look the gift horse in the mouth but... wasn't the last thing we saw of her and keeley's relationship like. general resentment + distrust abt the shandy debacle? when did that improve? how???

i don't think i'll ever have enough mental real estate to explain how disappointed keeley + rebecca's 'arcs' in s3 made me, and at least there's the saving grace that. virtually no one other than jamie got a coherent arc this season, so at least it was on some levels an egalitarian screw up. but fuck dude. keeley was just forced to react to bad things that were happening to her, and we got to see her do her job (which, unbelievably, does actually involve things other than being an awkward manager!) precisely one (1) time.

i even like rebecca's arc on paper - i think it's really cool to see a character backslide so intensely in terms of obsessing over and struggling to come to terms w a past relationship, especially an abusive one, bc like. yeah! that shit sticks with you for longer than a season! and beyond that, seeing her regain her sense of self and what SHE actually gives a shit about was oftentimes just as sweet as s1. but her scenes were poorly connected, and she had to carry WAY too much of a burden as the Resident Speech Giver for any of her internal characterisation to make sense. like, sorry, but it's kind of hard to believe a character's Going Through It™ when they have to spent near 100% of their screen time giving Take It From Me, Kid, speeches. and then she's not even given a real opportunity TO fuck up + sabotage her relationships, even when she starts getting really weird w ted! it's all just so meaningless and like nothing that she does is ever going to matter. she never speaks to zava again, we don't get to see her interact w bex or kate, her pleas to ted get COMPLETELY shut down...

but the thing that REALLY makes me sick is this complete lack of interiority absolutely butchers the characters of jade + jane, who are otherwise RIFE with potential. like, jade is a completely unflinching, unapologetic asshole to nate + his family, and that's never interrogated. even in Sitcom Land™, it's more than reasonable to view jade's actions as racist, especially when she doesn't give the same treatment to others (at least not as i recall? honestly i usually watch the taste of athens scenes while peeking out behind my hands, so i could 100% be wrong here). and yet, suddenly, and completely inexplicably, she's charmed by nate. she wants to give him the time of day. she finds him attractive, and wants to date him, and generally take control of his life and force him into a decision that is literally the exact opposite of what he expressed wanting to do. except even that LAST thing isn't allowed to be interrogated, bc god FORBID a woman is enough of a fully realised creation to actually be culpable of the terrible shit they do!

and fucking jane??? beard's so head-over-heels for this woman that the emotional abuse + extremely controlling tendencies don't even make him bat an eye, and we don't get to know anything about her? she's literally just the suggestion of an alluring woman! good at sex! good at chess! fuck you if you wanna know more, even though the show ENDLESSLY hits you over the head with how painful their relationship is for beard - beard who is given virtually no other storyline. like, i literally can't read brendan's refusal to label jane as abusive as anything other than like. that bio-essentialism shit where ppl 'women are better than men <3' so hard that they end up genuinely and wholeheartedly arguing that someone's sex defines their morals - or worse, that their sex is a deciding factor in determining whether someone's actions are good or bad. not context, but a legitimate 'add points if woman, take away points if man' variable.

like that's so feminism 101 it's legitimately almost worse than nothing. that's like getting as far as 'hey so you know how we're all inundated with both implicit + explicit messaging abt what is Valued and Good for women vs men to-' before shoving ur earplugs in and going 'if you are oppressed by society we'll automatically stamp a 'good person' label on ur head and now we don't have to think abt any of our biases + internalised beliefs ever again <333'. the most useless and fucking pointless stand against the patriarchy ever, especially coming from the same show that ENDLESSLY slots characters into the 'loving gf/wife' archetype and then give them Literally Nothing Else. my comrades you have literally just done madonna/whore 2: oops all madonnas! this is not liberation!!!! this is a miserable cage!!!!!!!!!

im just. higgins' wife. mae. trent's daughter and anonymous 'her'. the women at the hotel and the restaurants and the firm and the fucking physios, fuck - dani's gfs! who are they? what do they want? where do they go when the camera stops rolling? can anyone hear me?? hello??? hello???? brendan hunt i am OUTSIDE YOUR HOUUUUUUSE

[digitaldiseas3]

extremely frustrating situation

[silverislander]

wish i could just. work at a bookstore

[pyrriax]

ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏