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stargirlygirl · 1 month ago

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truth or dare

shigaraki tomura x fem!reader⋆｡°✩ — insistent and unwanted touching from dabi, angst, shiggy keeps freezing up, 4.9k words

It was a typical night at the hideout. You can hear the sounds of the city roaring in the distance from your abandoned cabin in the woods. You are sitting on a chewed-out sofa, legs curled beneath you and head resting on Toga’s shoulder. She sits next to you, a thin blanket strewn over your lap.

On the couch adjacent, Shigaraki and Spinner are playing video games. You watch them with fascination. Well, you watch Shigaraki with fascination. There was something so interesting about the way he was hunched over, the way his blue wavy hair fell over his face so that only his red eyes were visible. His fingers move the controller, their grip relaxed. You like the way he licked his chapped lips every so often.

You are in a daze as you stare at him, the object of your affection, your thoughts. He was the man that you had secretly been in love with ever since you joined the league. Not like you could ever tell him anyway, oh but how you longed to. You remain oblivious to the world around you, solely focusing on him.

You don’t even realise that Dabi has plopped down next to you until Toga shifts back and your head slips down her chest. Blinking away your stupor, you lift yourself up and off her, looking into her golden eyes. She smiles at you as you lean back, your body coming far too close to Dabi’s than you are comfortable with. You turn around quickly to look at him. He gives you a lazy smile before chuckling low, seeing how his closeness freaks you out.

“What’s wrong, doll? Aren’t you happy to see me?” He coos. You laugh nervously, shifting back from him and towards Toga. You don’t dare to tear your gaze away from his. Those icy eyes burning into yours.

He clears his throat and continues, “That’s not very convincing, dear.” He leans over to you, making you fall into Toga. She yelps from behind you but it’s too late, Dabi’s body ghosts yours, the blanket doing nothing to keep him off you. His face is close to yours and you can smell the convenience store ramen you all had for dinner on his breath.

“D-Dabi!” You stutter. Your hands are pressed into the cushions of the couch, head reared back so that you still meet his gaze.

He laughs, “What is it, dollface? Don’t want anyone to catch us?” You move one of your hands to grip Toga’s calf, squeezing it in a silent plea for her to save you from Dabi’s unwanted attention. She gets the message and you watch as she shoves Dabi’s shoulder backwards. The strength of her push is minimal, but he shifts back, those eyes still piercing into you.

She pouts and says, “Dabi, don’t be such a meanie. [Y/n]-chan doesn’t want you right now. She obviously wants me.” Toga wraps her arms around you, hands gripping opposite shoulders. You let out an anxious chuckle, your throat suddenly dry. You break out of her hold and get off the couch, rounding to stare at them, your hands on your hips.

“Come on, guys. It’s not funny!” You say. Your brows are knit together, teeth grinding as you watch them laugh at you.

Dabi chuckles, “It’s pretty funny, darling.” Toga slaps his arm lightly as she giggles. The wrinkles only deepen on your forehead as they continue to laugh and make fun of you for how sensitive you are. You can’t help it! You know that Shigaraki could care less about what’s going on between all of you if anything was going on at all. But you wanted to make sure that if he was suddenly paying attention, you would seem as single as possible, ripe for the taking. You huff in frustration as your fellow villains collect themselves.

A warm hand grasps your shoulder and you look up to see Sako, still in his villain costume as always. He looks down at you all from beneath his mask and sighs, “What are you up to now? Giving [y/n] trouble again, huh?” Toga giggles as she shakes her head vigorously to the side. Dabi seems unfazed, stretching himself out on the couch, that lazy smile on his mismatched lips one more.

“They were,” you say, pouting as you look up at Sako. He gives you a reassuring smile before scolding Dabi and Toga playfully. You all end up back on the couch, laughing and arguing and then laughing again as the night passes.

It’s getting pretty late now, but you’re not tired yet. Your gaze wanders over to Shigaraki more often than you’d like to admit, seeing him still focused on playing his game.

You’re on the verge of spacing out again, your mind getting carried away by all of these thoughts of him, when Toga squeals, “Why don’t we play a game?” She squeezes your arm and shakes you in her sudden excitement. “Oh oh! Let’s play truth or dare.”

She smiles wide, staring at all of you. Dabi laughs derisively as he says, “Yea, that game is for losers.”

Toga pokes her tongue out at him, retorting, “You’re scared of what happened last time we p—”

“Okay, shut up!” He says harshly, giving the bubbly girl before him a dangerous look.

You chuckle, remembering how the last time you all played truth or dare, Dabi got dared to wear an ‘#1 Endeavor Fan’ cap into a gas station and lost his shit, almost setting the entire place alight, when the man behind the desk commented on it. It had been diabolically hilarious at the time, and you were about to erupt into a fit of laughter thinking about how much Dabi seemed to despise Endeavor. Part of you is curious whether Dabi really hates all pro heroes that much or if it’s just an Endeavor thing, as it seems to be an Endeavor-only thing.

Sako pats Dabi’s knee, earning him a glare from the younger man. He says, “Well, you kids have fun. I’m going to bed now.” He stands up and bows to you before leaving the room. You watch him leave and with a smile, you turn back to Dabi and Toga who are bickering over playing truth or dare.

You say, “Let’s ask Spinner and Shiggy if they wanna play.” Toga nods furiously while Dabi glares at both of you with narrow eyes. You smile at them and get off the couch, heading over to where Spinner and Shigaraki are sitting. You stand next to Spinner, eyeing him and then Shigaraki nervously. They don’t seem to notice your presence until Spinner huffs and throws down his controller.

“Every time,” he sighs. You are beginning to think that maybe now isn’t the best time and begin to back away slowly when Spinner notices you.

“Oh, [y/n]. What is it?” He asks.

You smile at him and say, “Uh well, Toga and I wanna play truth or dare, and so we were wondering if you two wanted to play as well.” You’re fiddling with your hands behind your back as you watch Spinner turn and nudge Shigaraki. The blue-haired man seems confused like he’s been snapped out of a daze with the movement.

“What?” He says, his voice flat and uninterested.

Spinner elbows him and points to you, saying, “[Y/n] asked if you wanted to play truth or dare.” Shigaraki sighs, finally tearing his gaze from the TV. He lowers his controller to his lap as he looks at you. His gaze is bored yet it has you internally screaming. You feel like he knows. Like he can see how nervous he makes you and ultimately, knows that you have a fatal crush on him. Was he just being nice by not saying anything? You think. You can feel your face heating up, cheeks reddening, as his eyes linger on you. And then he looks away.

“No,” he murmurs. He raises his controller and resumes the game, once again ignorant of your presence.

Spinner sighs and says, “I’ll play.”

You giggle, “Yay!” Toga claps from her spot on the other mangled couch seeing Spinner coming over with you.

In the end, you, Toga, Spinner, and Dabi end up playing truth or dare. Shigaraki was still going at his video game across the living room as you all sat on the floor in a circle, staring at each other with cautious eyes. You had been playing for a few rounds now and nothing too crazy had happened so far. At the moment, it was Toga’s go.

“Dabi,” she says, locking eyes with him. “Truth or dare?” He stares at her, clearly still hesitant to pick ‘dare’ since it was Toga who gave him the Endeavor-cap dare last time. After 30 seconds or so, she whines, “Come on, Dabiiii. Just pick one.”

Dabi grumbles “truth” which makes you all laugh.

Once all of you calm down, Toga asks, “Out of everyone in the room, who would survive a zombie apocalypse?” Dabi sighs and pinches his nose bridge. Toga giggles as you wait for his response.

At last, he sighs, “Not you, vampire. Probably Jin—”

“Jin’s not in the room, silly!” She squeals.

Dabi groans, “Still not you.” He looks around the room, seeming to assess each one of you including your boss in the back for your zombie apocalypse survival skills. He finally says, “You Spinner because you look like one.”

“Ha ha very funny,” Spinner drawls.

You shake your head and say, “He doesn’t even, Dabi. Stop being a dick.”

“When am I not?” He chuckles, the sound sudden and short. You roll your eyes at him and lean back, your back hurting from slouching over your knees.

Toga chimes in, “Okay, okay, your turn Dabi!” You look back at him, seeing him grinning at you like he was up to no good.

He says, “[Y/n]. Truth or dare?” You can hear the challenge in his voice, daring you to be bold and to pick the latter. You usually picked ‘truth’ (boring👎) but this time, you were feeling a little adventurous.

You say with a smirk, “Dare.” The look Dabi gives you tells you that you have made the wrong decision.

He grins wide as he says, “I dare you to kiss one person in this room.” Your jaw drops and your eyes widen as you stare at him. The room has gone silent. You can’t even hear the clicking of Shigaraki’s controller. Your mind is whirring with a million thoughts. You berate yourself for being so dumb and falling into his trap. ‘Trap’ because obviously, you’re supposed to kiss him. You and Spinner were just friends, Shigaraki wasn’t playing, and Toga… Well…

“Toga,” you say frantically as you look at her. She shakes her head. “But—”

“Sorry, [y/n]. My kisses are reserved right now,” she says pouting.

“For who?!” Your eyes are wild and the pitch of your voice is high. You stare at her in complete and utter confusion as she giggles.

“It’s a secret,” she says coyly. She leans over to you from across the circle, her hand cupping your ear as she whispers into it, “Do you think I can still see Izu-chan tonight?” You scowl and pull back, glaring at her. The fact that Izuku had won her affections just by being cute and bloodied up, and you hadn’t— It didn’t mean much to you usually as that wasn’t how you felt about Toga. But right now, when you needed her ambiguous sexuality the most and you couldn’t take advantage of it!

“Fine,” you huff as you sit back. You catch sight of Dabi’s smirk and you just know that things weren’t going to work out well.

“Looks like you’re all out of options, doll face,” Dabi coos. His grin widens, grinding your gears.

You pout as you say, “I’m not gonna kiss you, Dabi.”

He groans, “Don’t be such a brat, [y/n]. It’s just a dare.”

Unfortunately, you two are seated next to each other and without warning, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you towards him. You let out a squeal, feeling like the fun and games have gone too far. Maybe that’s how it felt for Dabi last time, you think.

“Dabi!” You shriek. Your hands are on his chest, trying to push him away from you. But you’re easily overpowered by his strength, and soon, you’re nestled in his lap. You look down at him with big, frightened eyes and pouty lips. You liked Dabi, sure. He was your… friend? Your fellow league member. But you had no romantic or sexual interest in him, and the last thing you wanted to do while your crush was in the room was kiss another man.

His hand is at the back of your neck, pulling your face closer to his. You clamp your eyes shut and lips into a hard line, hoping that it will all stop. You feel his nose brush against yours and you let out a small whine. You’re trying to mentally prepare yourself for what’s about to happen when—

“Dabi,” Shigaraki says, his tone cold. Not flat. Cold. The same cold it always was when he became annoyed. You open one eyelid and then the other, seeing your crush standing behind Toga, looking down at you two. You take this opportunity to get away from Dabi. He grunts as you scamper off him and run and hide Shigaraki. Your hands grip his arm as your body ghosts his. You can feel how his muscles tense beneath your touch.

You peek out from behind Shigaraki, seeing how he stares Dabi down. You gulp nervously, unsure of what to do or say.

Shigaraki says between tight teeth, “She doesn’t want to kiss you.” You watch as Dabi scoffs and rolls his eyes.

He retorts, “Yea well, you’re not much better, freak.” You can see just how hard Shigaraki is clutching his jaw, the veins popping out from beneath his dry skin.

It’s only a few moments before he turns around to look at you. Your hands fall from his arm as he moves. Those red eyes stare down at you. Within them, you can see his internal conflict. You can tell that right now he’s overthinking, wondering whether you want to kiss him, whether you’re repulsed by the monster he believes he is, whether you want to run away from him or cry or scream.

You shake your head and say his name quietly. The sound of it leaving your lips draws his eyes down to your mouth. His tongue darts out across his dry lips and you wonder whether he’s kissed anyone before.

You shift closer to him, testing the waters. He’s frozen, unable to move. His mind can’t form a coherent thought with you so close to him. You begin to think that this was a mistake, slowly shifting back to put some space between you when you gasp.

Shigaraki’s hand grips your bicep, holding it firmly. His mouth is open slightly and he looks like he’s going to say something, but no words come out. You nod, urging him to go on, but he can’t. He physically just can’t. He feels like he’s going to ruin everything right now. He keeps thinking that he’ll slip up and suddenly, you’ll be gone. Nothing more than ashes floating and falling in the breeze. The room is suddenly stifling and he can barely breathe.

You bite the side of your lower lip subconsciously as you gaze into his eyes. You can’t take the silence anymore. You can’t handle not knowing how he feels or what he wants, especially at this moment.

You whisper, “Shiggy. If you’re going to kiss me then just kiss me, please.”

You fail to realise that Toga is leaning over to you two from her spot on the floor, craning her neck up so that she can hear what you’re saying. But your voice is so quiet, she can’t catch it. She looks back at Dabi and Spinner and shakes her head, pouting and shrugging.

Shigaraki clears his throat, gently pulling you by the arm closer to him. You’re obedient, your body shifting to press against his. The hardness of him beneath his thin, black shirt shocks you. Your [e/c] eyes are huge and round as they stare up into Shigaraki’s. Your breathing is hitched, the reality of this all dawning on you. You are really about to kiss him! The man you’ve been obsessing over since day one. Who you’ve been trying to get close to all this time. He’s drawing you in, holding you in his hands, slowly leaning down. Your faces are getting nearer and nearer.

Your noses brush and you close your eyes, feeling his hair tickling your forehead. You can feel his chapped lips brush yours. A feeling that you’ve imagined far too many times. One that feels much better in real life than it did in your dreams. As his lips finally press against yours, you sigh.

The kiss is slow and soft, either party unsure of how things should proceed. Locked between your lips were far too many emotions left unsaid. Your hands tightened into fists, grabbing onto his long sleeve while his hands remained on your arms.

You pulled him further down, pressing your lips harder into his. Shigaraki’s eyes open wide and they stare down at you in shock. He freezes up, wishing that he could just decay himself in this moment. He was embarrassing himself beyond repair right now with how stiff he was.

Feeling him tense up, you pull away. Your eyes flutter open and you see his bulging out of their sockets; the redness at the top of his ears and pink dusting of his sallow cheeks is noticed. You gulp nervously, screaming at yourself in your mind for going too far. And now you’ve made things awkward. You want to burst into tears seeing how uncomfortable he is right now.

A whine escapes your throat as you step back, Shigaraki letting you go with ease. You look down at the rest of the league on the floor, their eyes curious (Dabi’s narrow) at what has just occurred in the living room. You look back up at Shigaraki, his hand outstretched mid-air towards you. His mouth is slightly open once more as he stares at you.

You run off, racing up the stairs to your bedroom. Your footsteps thud down the hall, and you don’t care if you wake anyone up (probably Jin, as he’s such a light sleeper). Once you make it to your bedroom, you swing the door open and then slam it shut. You plonk face-first down onto your bed and start to sob uncontrollably. The sadness wrecks through your body, leaving you gasping and trembling into your thin, blood-stained quilt.

Meanwhile, Shigaraki stands there, unmoving, as he processes what just happened. Toga gets up and stands next to him. She leans over and waves her hand in front of her face, saying, “Shigaraki-kun, are you okay?”

Shigaraki still stands there, replaying the memory of you running out. The look on your face, the glassiness of your doe eyes. It hurts him in a way that he hasn’t been hurt in a very long time.

At some point, things began to feel numb, the hatred and rage blending. But since you had come into his life, you had made him feel all of these foreign emotions. You had brought light into his life with your sweet laugh and teasing. You had come to mean so much more to him than he ever thought you would. And watching you stumble out, away from him, running from him. That was a pain unlike any other. To know that he had made you feel uncomfortable, unwanted, rejected even, was so much worse than any kind of repulsion you could have felt for him.

With all eyes on him, he walked out of the room and up the stairs. His pace was even but his heart and mind were racing. He could hear the sick slosh of his blood gushing in his ears once he stopped at your door. The sounds of your sobs clear over his panic. He knocked on the door, the skin taut, almost splitting across his knuckles.

You pushed yourself up, hearing the knock on the door. You felt so defeated that you couldn’t even sit up, let alone open the door for whoever it was. It's not like you wanted to see anyone anyway. All you wanted right now was to wallow in your pain and sadness, in the grief that the man you had come to… love… didn’t feel the same about you. How could he? You had felt the way he froze up. There was no way that he liked you. Not even a little bit. If he did, he wouldn’t have reacted like that, right?

You heard someone rap on the door again. This time, the sound was louder. You sniffled and sighed into your quilt, groaning out, “Come in.” The words were muffled by your blankets but the door pushed open and heavy footsteps shuffled against the wooden floorboards.

You whimpered, “Dabi, I-I swear if that’s you, I’m going to break your fu—”

“[Y/n].”

You push yourself up and sit back. Turning your head to the side, you see those red eyes trained on you. You let out a whine before burying yourself back into your blankets, crying even harder into them.

What did he want? You think. To see how much he hurt you? To tease you for being ‘too sensitive’? For fuck’s sake, of course, you were sensitive. This was the man you had been ogling every chance you got since you met. The man whose words you would write down in your journal to savour the memory of him talking (bonus points if it was to you).

“[Y/n],” he repeats. You can feel the edge of your bed dip with his weight. You (somehow) cry even harder into your bed, your body shaking like a dog that had been left out on a freezing, winter night. You felt like a dog that had been left out on a winter night, too. Your love was unrequited. You felt abandoned. Your legs are curled up, your body in a foetus position as you air out your sorrows.

You gasp and choke on your sobs as you feel a hand squeeze your ankle.

Shigaraki’s hand.

His grip is loose, touch warm. You’re gasping and sniffling and coughing as you feel his fingers trail across the delicate skin, dipping to your Achilles tendon and then back over the bone of your ankle, drawing small circles on your flesh. The movement was slow and soothing. It helps you quiet down so that now, you’re only sniffling and hiccuping every couple of minutes. Your hands clench your quilt in tiny fists as you focus on breathing.

Shigaraki says softly, “I’m sorry.” You gasp as you strain to hear his next words that are barely audible. “For ruining everything.” You start hiccuping, the sobs picking back up at his words. You begin to cry again, feeling even more sad and confused. What did he mean by ‘ruin everything’? You think. Did he mean your relationship as league members? With him as your boss? You didn’t understand. These feelings of helplessness made you cry even more intensely.

The guilt and anguish Shigaraki was feeling only swelled seeing how much he was upsetting you. He was internally shouting at himself, telling himself to leave you alone because he was only making it worse. But for some reason, he wanted to lay down beside you and hold you, cuddle with you until you told him everything that was on your mind.

He wanted to listen to you yap away. He wanted you to scream at him and be angry with him, to tell him how awful of being he was, how much you hated him, how much he disgusted you. The last thing he wanted was to see you like this. Your beautiful soul crushed as you cried and cried.

His hand left your ankle and came to stroke your hair as he leaned over your trembling frame. You looked up through teary eyes to see him staring down at you, the look in his eyes a mixture of sadness and anger and something else… hatred. Not for you but for himself and how badly he hurt you.

You turn and lie on your back. Still sniffling, you look up at Shigaraki with those big, teary eyes. You choke on your breath. His hand gently cups your cheek, thumb brushing over the wetness of your tears.

Shigaraki sighs, “I’m just making it worse.” You shake your head, hiccuping. Your fingers wrap around his wrist. You can feel the beat of his pulse, the heat of his touch.

You sniffle as you say, “Sh-Shiggy, I-I don’t under-understand.” You choke on your sobs, unable to continue.

What he does next shocks you. Shigaraki leans over your body and props himself up on his elbows as his hands cup your cheeks. His face is close to yours. You hiccup, your lips trembling as you press them together. He leans down and kisses your forehead with shy lips, your nose brushing against his jaw.

The feeling of his dry lips, their cracked surface, on your sweaty skin has you hyperventilating through your sniffles. He pulls back but instead of giving you space to breathe, he presses his forehead to yours. His fingers tangle in your locks as they push your messy hair back from your angelic face. Even now, with cheeks and eyes puffy, nose red and snotty, you are still the most beautiful woman Shigaraki has ever seen.

You are the only woman he has ever desired.

You shut your eyes, allowing stray tears to fall as you bask in the feeling of Shigaraki so close to you. You wish that your nose wasn’t so blocked so that you could smell his musk. You wish that you would stop hiccuping and choking out sobs because you feel like you’re being too loud and ruining the moment.

But Shigaraki doesn’t think that at all. He wants to hear it. He wants to see your pain. And he doesn’t ever want to forget it. He wants to add it to the vault of hatred and anger locked within him. Fuel for the fire forever blazing in his mind and body.

“Sh-Shiggy,” you mumble, your voice thick with sorrow. He hums in response, his eyes opening slowly and gazing into yours. You realise that it’s now or never. And so you resolve to say it. You resolve to tell him how you feel.

“Sh-Shiggy. I’m-I’m sorry.” He shushes you but you press on. “Sh-Shiggy,” you whine. You pause and take a deep breath. Exhaling, you admit, “I love you.”

You tilt your head back, nose brushing his as you get a good look at his blood-red eyes. They’re wide with shock as they stare down at you. If things weren’t ruined before, then they were ruined now.

You two are quiet for the next few minutes. You’re determined to hear what Shigaraki has to say on the matter. And Shigaraki doesn’t have a clue how to respond. He feels like he’s malfunctioning, short-circuiting at hearing those words slip from your swollen lips. He opens his mouth to speak but no words come out.

You’re so close to bursting into tears again when he finally mutters, “Don’t-don’t be sorry, dummy. Just-I.” You whimper hearing that. His eyes widen again and he stumbles over his words, “Don’t cry-I just-look it’s n-not-I—”

“Sh-Shiggy, please,” you whine. “Please just-just.” You can feel the tears coming on.

Shigaraki smashes his lips onto yours, kissing you roughly and messily. His teeth gnash yours far too many times as you cry into the kiss, your hands clutching his blue locks at the roots. Your body is shaking but it doesn’t matter because he holds you.

He holds you, he steadies you, he takes your breath and your sorrow away with his lips.

Once he pulls away, your hands wrap around his neck and you nuzzle your face into him. He flips you over so that you’re lying at his side, your body instinctively curled into his. You continue to sob into the crook of his neck. His hands rub your back and your arm as he mutters to you how sorry he is for making you feel like this.

He mumbles into the top of your head, “You have every right to be angry with me. Hate me. Take it out on me.” You shake your head vigorously, earning a grumble from him. With all of your remaining strength, you push yourself up. Your nose ghosts his as you look into his eyes.

“I l-love you, Shiggy.” You lean in closer, saying on his lips, “I love you.” You gently kiss him, moaning into the feeling of it.

You know that he wouldn’t be doing this for just anyone. And the thought that maybe he felt something for you other than loathing kept you hooked on his lips and the feeling of his body pressed against yours.

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #x female reader #fem!reader #shiggy #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki tomura #★’s works #mutual pining #shigaraki is such a loser omg but i'm obsessed

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