#| I wonder how the answers to this will change on our 2nd anniversary |

[umbrx]

Doffy x Violet / @ikkaku-of-heart​​

SEND ME A SHIP and i’ll tell you:

who wakes up first in the morning: Viola. Doflamingo generally has trouble sleeping, but with her in bed, with her head resting against his chest, he can fall asleep soundlessly. Regardless if they’ve had fun during the night or not, her warmth and presence is all he needs to relax. When Doflamingo wants to get up first and surprise her, he does so. But more often than not, he will enjoy that restful godly sleep.

who’s the first to fall asleep at night Viola. Doflamingo enjoys watching her body slowly relax as she listens to his heartbeat and falls asleep, so he will always go to sleep last. He enjoys his private moments when he’s able to admire her.

what they playfully tease each other over Anything and everything. They both appreciate each other’s quick-wit and ability to take things in stride, as much as they appreciate new ways of trying to one up the other. No topic is off-limits, be it romantic or political. Their teasing is just a chance to show off for them and show how much they appreciate the other, and they feed off the exchange. Doflamingo specifically, if often called a cheese and a horndog, and sometimes he takes it in stride and plays off of it, and sometimes he hates it.

what they do when the other’s having a bad day They give each other space. By now, they both know they have different ways of approaching the subject, with Viola’s being meditation or focusing on needs of others, while Doflamingo needs to fly away or drink wine. Once they’re in proper headspace, they will seek out each other. They will talk, they will listen to each other, they will offer solutions if they are needed (they’re both problem solvers), or they will just offer physical comfort. It will depend on the situation, the severity of the bad day, and what the other needs in that moment. They’re able to read each other well so they know how to approach these situations.

how they say ‘i’m sorry’ after arguments They come and say it. It isn’t a mere “I’m sorry, let’s move on”, they spend time thinking about the argument, analyse their own reasoning and the other’s, and come to discuss it. Doflamingo and Viola talk to each other a lot, they’re able to understand what upset the other so much, they’re able to discuss it and openly talk about their feelings, and if during the discussion they need a moment to sort their thoughts out – they communicate it to the other. They trust each other, and ultimately know that every disagreement or argument (and the way they overcome it) only strengthens their relationship.

which one’s more ticklish Viola.

their favourite rainy day activities Reading, writing, debating, having sex. They’re both book lovers, so they’ll either read on their own in the silence of each other’s company or they’ll read to each other. Sometimes they’ll recite poetry, sometimes Viola will write her own book. If they’re feeling talkative (aka Doffy is), they’ll discuss whatever topic comes to mind. Doflamingo also loves to sometimes lounge on the sofa and have his hair caressed by Viola. It’s a heavenly feeling. He also loves to play with her hair, but she doesn’t like when someone touches it, so if he’s lucky, he’ll get her permission. Sex is just something they both enjoy and with Doflamingo’s libido, whatever they’re doing always leads to it.

how they surprise each other With signs of trust or with gestures that hold meaning and aren’t expecting anything in return.

their most sickening shows of public affection They both tend to keep their affection for behind four walls most of the time. Those moments are intimate and sacred, and they both stay professional around others. Doflamingo’s love language is physical touch, so his public shows of affection are often physical. However, whenever he wants to spice things up (which is OFTEN), public sex happens. Sometimes, Viola will be the one to bring it up too. Thanks to her, the balcony has a whole new meaning for them.

[mercerislandbooks]

A Conversation with Erica Bauermeister

I’ve been a fan of local author Erica Bauermeister for years, from The School of Essential Ingredients, to The Scent Keeper, to House Lessons. But when I first sank into the pages of an early copy of No Two Persons, I knew I was in for a singular reading experience. Releasing on May 2nd, No Two Persons is the story of a novel and the people it impacts. Topping my personal “Best Books of 2023″ (and a perfect Mother’s Day gift!), I’m so happy to give you all a sneak preview of this amazing book in a conversation with Erica Bauermeister herself:

Lori: Welcome Erica! It’s such a pleasure to speak with you about your fabulous new book. But before we start chatting about No Two Persons, I wondered if you have fun memories of Island Books to share, in this, our 50th anniversary year?

Erica:  I remember the first time I went to Island Books. I was on a tight schedule, there to sign books, but I found myself instinctively slowing down, looking around. You know that feeling when you enter a bookstore and you just know this is the kind of place where you’ll find a book you’ll love but hadn’t known existed? It’s such a rare feeling. Is it how carefully the inventory is curated? How well the staff knows the books? The way the customers seem to have taken the place into their hearts? All I know is that Island Books is one of those rare stores.

L: I love those places and I feel very lucky that I get to work at Island Books every day. Now, onto No Two Persons! I was so taken by the structure — it's markedly different from your other books. What was your inspiration?

E:  I have long been fascinated by the power and potential of interconnected short stories. Each story is its own separate world, and yet together they create something greater. In a way, most of my novels have been some variation of interconnected short stories, but you’re completely right; No Two Persons is different. The connections in No Two Persons are both gossamer and profound at the same time. Most of the characters will never meet each other, and yet they are connected in ways they will never know, as well as by the act of reading itself.

The inspiration for No Two Persons came from meeting with book clubs, actually. It fascinated me, how the various members could interpret the same story in such different ways. I loved the way the book created a safe place for people to talk about those differences of opinion, and I thought how good it would be if we as a society could remember how wonderful differences can be, and how important it is to learn from each other.

The idea sat in my mind for years, and then, not too long before the pandemic started, that idea evolved into a structure—one fictional book, nine readers. Ten changed lives. Then my job was to find the characters and figure out how the book, Theo, would affect each of them.

L: You managed it beautifully! I found myself looking for those “gossamer” connections, as you said, and discovering them was so satisfying. What was your favorite part to write? And on the flip side, what was the hardest part to write?

E:  My characters usually start with a single image and then grow into fully-developed human beings. Sometimes that process is easy and organic, and sometimes it takes more time. Ironically, or perhaps not, my favorite part to write was also the hardest — William’s story. I could feel that he would add an important element to the book, but I didn’t know what it was. What would Theo mean to him, a grieving man who didn’t like fiction? Why would he read it? What would it teach him? I worked for months on his story, trying it from one angle and then another. And when I finally understood the answer, it felt both unexpected and preordained, which is just how I wanted it to feel.

L: I had to take a break after reading William’s section because I was so emotionally invested in him and his journey. Which, for a reader that usually can’t turn the pages fast enough, means it really impacted me. Is there a particular character you identify with more?

E:  I agree with the authors who say all of our characters are us, and none of them are. I’ve never been an artist or a free diver. I’ve never fenced or lived in New York or been an audiobook narrator or a homeless teenager. And yet, there are emotional aspects of each of these characters — an insecurity, a love, a moment of insight — that are the parts of me. I never set out to write about those things, and I'm generally surprised when they show up in the stories—often because of what I learn myself in the process. But perhaps that is the point of writing, as well as reading? To learn what we didn’t know we needed to learn?

L: Yes. So many moments in No Two Persons articulated something deeply personal and unspoken in me until you put words to it. I love that the writing of it brought you to a similar self-recognition or self-knowledge. The ending was absolutely masterful. How hard was that? Did you have it in mind from the beginning or did it come organically as you wrote?

E:  Ah, the ending. I didn’t know what it would be for the longest time — and that was terrifying. But then one morning I was lying in bed, half asleep, and the idea floated into my imagination, and I thought Yes. That’s it. And as a writer, that's when you thank whatever busy little part of your subconscious sent the image your way, forgo your coffee, and start writing.

L: I thought it was perfection — an ending that has you turning back to the beginning again. Thank you so much, Erica, it was a delight to chat with you!

To celebrate the publication of No Two Persons, Island Books will be hosting Erica Bauermeister in person, at 6:30pm on Wednesday May 17th. Please join us to hear Erica speak and get your own copy of No Two Persons. Mark your calendars now -- it’s going to be a wonderful evening and we’d love to see you!

— Lori

[lovinglokilaufeyson]

G-Spot - D.M

*another gif from giphy, I can never find many of Draco on here*

Pairings: Draco x Reader

Warnings: First Time, Smut, Young Love, Fluff, Fingering

Wordcount: 1508

Summary: After the Yule Ball 4th year, you and Draco decide to take your relationship to the next level.

A/N: This was a request I got a while back, but never got around to writing because of the good ol’ college transition. Sorry it took me a bit, but I hope you guys enjoy it regardless. Also, just wanted to point out that I literally have 320 followers at the moment. WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY NUTS. I never thought that this blog would reach that amount of followers, and I am grateful for every single one of you. I will make an appreciation post because holy cow. If you enjoy Criminal Minds (another of my new obsessions) also go and check out 188, my Spencer Reid one shot. Again, I love you and appreciate you all, so very much. Hope you enjoy some more Draco. @anothevr​ thanks for this wonderful idea! I loved writing it. 

You and Draco had been dating since 2nd year. The Yule Ball marked your 2nd anniversary. People always told you that you two were just too different, that the relationship would never work. But you helped him mature, and he helped you adventure out of your comfort zone. You were a good match. Soon enough, he realized that constantly tormenting the Golden Trio was not necessary. He had better things to be doing. Thanks to you, not only had his grades improved, but his character. His parents loved you, you were a positive influence on the oftentimes troubled boy. 

The night of the Yule Ball, you dressed nicely. You wore a sleek dark green dress, doing your makeup to compliment the green hues. Your lips were a nice mauve color, not too overpowering. You curled your hair, pinning a couple of the front pieces at the back of your head. You couldn’t wait to see Draco. The feelings were mutual. He simply could not wait to see you. So much so that you caught him trying to sneak a peek at you in your dress. You quickly slammed the door in his face. “Draco, no!” “C’mon babe, just a peek?” “It’s bad luck” you answered. “You’re not getting married, sweets.” You rolled your eyes, but you gave in. “Fine...” Opening the door, he stood in awe, looking at you. 

“You look absolutely marvelous.” You blushed, looking at Draco who was standing closer now. “You’re so beautiful.” You kissed him, and he held you close. His hands drifted from your waist a little further down, and you held the nape of his neck. Suddenly, you felt Draco push you onto your bed, and you struggled with the thought. Did you really want to do this? At least - now? Draco ran his hands up and down your body, against the velvet texture of your lengthy dress. “You look gorgeous in this, darling. But I think it’d look better on the floor, if I’m honest.” You blushed, burying your head in your pillow. However, he soon began unzipping the dress from the side, and you had second thoughts. “Draco, Draco. Stop, please.” He obliged, immediately looking guilty for his actions. “Sorry, babe. I just can’t resist you like this.” He gave you a quick peck on the cheek as an apology. “We can wait.” 

-

At the dance, Draco was entirely a gentleman. His hands held you close to him - but only at the waist. No touching of your ass or your boobs, thankfully. Considering your past interaction, you thought he would be more touchy. You realized how deeply blessed you were to have him. And that - you wouldn’t want your first to be with anyone else. You loved Draco. 

You danced the night away with him, through party songs - as well as slow ones. You were so ecstatic to be with him. To end the night, a wonderful slow song played, and he held onto your back, and you, the nape of his neck. Swaying back and forth, you gazed into Draco’s gray blue eyes, smiling to yourself. “I love you, Draco.” You whispered. “I love you more, lovely.” He landed a kiss on your lips, which you happily returned. 

- 

Draco lead you upstairs, his intentions to simply walk you to your dorm. “Thank you, Draco, for such a wonderful night.” You thanked him, and he gave you another peck on your lips. “Thank you, Y/N.” After speaking for several minutes, Draco sighed, starting to head towards his own dorm. “Babe?” You asked, hoping to get his attention. “Yeah?” He turned around, heading back towards you. “I- um- could-” You stuttered, clearly nervous. “What is it love? Use your words...” “I could- I could stay with you. For tonight, I mean.” He nodded, excited to have you in his arms for the night. 

He lead you up the stairs and into his room. “Do you have something I could wear?” You asked suddenly. He nodded. “Well, if it isn’t nothing, you can wear one of my button ups - does that work?” You nodded back at him, hesitantly. You went into his bathroom to freshen up and change. You unzipped the side of your dress, slipping out of it. You took your heels off, and realized you didn’t have a place to hang your dress. Peeking out of the bathroom, you asked Draco for a hanger, which he levitated over to you. He winked, you think he realized that you were wearing a matching deep green set on of lacy lingerie. You could tell, even from the strap. He probably made some guesses, you assumed. 

You grabbed the hanger, closing the door once more. You hung up the dress with ease, leaving your heels in the bathroom. You took your bra off, hanging it with the dress. You grabbed Draco’s plain white shirt, sliding it over your shoulders and buttoning it up from the bottom. You left the top button undone, you didn’t want it to be strangled while trying to sleep. Bringing your hair towards the top of your head, you tied it into a messy bun. 

Exiting the bathroom, you were met with Draco, oozing sex on the bed. Well - you didn’t know exactly, but if you had to guess - that was it. He was scantily clad in only his boxers, looking at you, once again, in awe. “You look - amazing in my shirt, babygirl.” “Thank you, Draco.” You blushed. You dove into bed with him, immediately cuddling up to his figure. 

He let his hand run upon your thigh, teasingly. He laid you on your back, bringing his hand to your inner thigh, now. He pitter-pattered his fingers, and you smiled at him. You brought a swift kiss to his lips, letting it linger as he played with the band of your panties. He released the kiss suddenly, and you wondered if anything was wrong. “Everything okay, Draco?” You asked. He nodded, pecking your lips. “If you get uncomfortable at all - tell me. Let me know your boundaries, babe.” You nodded, bringing your lips back to his, pushing his lips apart. Your tongue twisted with his, fighting back and forth into each other’s mouths. 

After he finished playing with the band, he begun to pull them down your legs a bit. You lifted your pelvis to allow him to pull them down further. He brought his prodding fingers to your clit, playing with it. You began to moan tirelessly, loudly - though you tried to be quiet. “Y/N?” “Yes, Draco?” You responded. “Can I make love to you?” He asked, and you nodded, slowly. 

Within a few seconds, Draco had established a better position with you. He was spreading your legs, laying between them. He unbuttoned your - well, his - shirt. He pulled his boxer shorts down, and his dick rose further. He played with you a little bit further - “Merlin, you’re so ready for me.” You nodded, and he lined his dick up with you. He started slowly, and, unfortunately, you couldn’t feel too much. Well, you couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing. 

“You okay?” Draco asked, sliding in a bit further. You could feel it more, now. Just a bit. “Yeah I-” “Does it feel good?” Draco interrupted, eagerly. “It hurts a bit.” You told him. “Okay. I’ll stop for a minute. Let you get used to me. Merlin, you’re so tight, babe.” Draco stopped for a moment, and once the pain had gone away, you gave him the okay. He began pumping out, and then back in. “Feel okay, babe?” “Yeah, no more pain, really.” “Does it feel good?” 

You sighed, and shook your head slightly. You needed to be honest with him. “Not really..” You stated. “Well, let’s see what we can do about that, sweets. I’m gonna try and find your g-spot, okay?” You nodded, slowly, hesitant. You felt Draco pull out - still lying on your back, he began to prod inside of you. He pushed down into your canal, and you sighed a little bit. “Is that it?” He asked. “I don’t think so, hon.” You sounded apologetic. He moved upwards a bit further, pushing. “Whoa whoa whoa” you moaned. “Youfoundityoufounditohmygodyoufo-undit” you muttered. “Merlin that feels so good.” “Good, baby. Good.” Draco sounded pleased, continuing to play his fingers in you. 

“Draco please god, it feels so good.” Draco began playing with your clit too. You moaned incessantly, him flicking your clit - clumsily, and running his finger along your special spot. “Draco I’m gonna-” “Come, baby.” You became undone on Draco’s fingers, shaking intensely, letting out a loud moan. “Draco!” 

“Good job, baby.” Draco smiled, coming up to face you, pecking your lips. “I’m sorry our first time wasn’t exactly-” You started, but Draco interrupted you. “No worries baby. It was perfect. We’ll try again soon.” You smiled, cuddling up to him. He was so perfect. And together, you two were perfect.

[sorry-i-ship-drarry]

I'm yours

prompt used - falling asleep on other’s shoulder | fluff| Day 21

“ potter “ draco nodded as harry walked with notebooks in his hands to the staff room, being morning it was pretty empty 

“ malfoy “ harry nodded at draco and sat down in front of him  

“ how’s the morning coming along ?” he asked with a warm smile occasionally drinking his coffee after having it miss this morning due to an eventful morning.

“ well there was a mass murder in the bathroom this morning but other than that really pleasant" harry gave him a little head tilt with a little smile.

“ really ? what was the mass murder of ?” draco chuckled leaning back in his chair to listen to harry’s interesting morning story 

“ mosquitoes. apparently my very attractive irresponsible husband left the window open and it welcomed the entire narnia of mosquitoes “ harry answered 

“ oh well, i’m sure he did it by mistake but rest in peace to all those mosquitoes” draco chuckled 

“ how was yours ?” harry asked smirking 

“hm, well eventful. It’s our anniversary so breakfast in bed before work and well you know the rest. Love these anniversaries “ draco bit his lip before giving harry a wide grin 

“ ooh anniversary, what have you planned ?” harry narrowed his eyes in a sneakish way 

“ oh just a bit of this, a bit of that. surprises you know. Don’t want to go about spilling the beans. Its a secret between me and me” draco smirked and finished the rest of his coffee 

“ potter, malfoy, to classes “ Ms. Mcgonagall walked by announcing them to cut their chatter and they did so. The rest of the day harry and draco Passed by each other a lot offering each other small smiles.

" sir is it true that it's your 6th anniversary?" A student asked in Draco's class abruptly.

" well I don't see how it's in the reference to whatever I've given you to write about " Draco answered searching for the voice

" cut them a slack Mr. Malfoy, they're merely being curious like everyone else including me " Harry walked in from the back door Grinning

" well If that is the case- yes it is true. It will be my 6th anniversary as of now " Draco raised an eyebrow at harry

"professor forgive me but if it's your 6th anniversary then you must be giving them something really special right ?" Asked the same voice but it was no lie that the entire class was curious.

" yes but I think it will be about time you focus on your work while I give Mr. Potter a word about interrupting my classes " Draco raised from his chair, Harry following him outside.

" how may I help you Mr. Potter ?" Draco asked in a professional way.

" well- I just came by to inform that today's meeting have been moved forward " Harry told him.

" well that works in my favour " Draco tilted his head in surprise but not entirely surprised , he expected It if anything.

" I must say your lover sure is a Lucky person " Harry smiled

" I think your husband is as equally lucky " Draco smiled. Lingering in the moment for a smile, Harry walked back off to his office with a little grin.

When the day came to an end, harry was busy stacking things up over his desk and drawers when he heard a little knock on the door and saw Draco leaning over the door.

" 2 minutes " he smiled. Harry looked up at the watch on the wall before he walked towards Draco and dragged him inside.

" 1 minute "

" 10 seconds "

" 2 seconds "

And then Harry pulled him closer, closing the door behind him and kissing him over the lips.

" I missed you " Harry mumbled against his lips

" you saw me an unusually lot Harry" Draco smiled not moving an inch apart

" well I missed my husband " Harry said as he gave him a chaste kiss again to show how true his words were

" in that case, I missed my husband too but I think I like professor potter better, he's got a- well nice ass " Draco chuckled creating a little space to grab Harry's ass just a little

" lucky for you, we're both the same people or you would've been a dead man " Harry chuckled intertwining their finger's together

" like the mass murder in the bathroom this morning ?" Draco laughed . Joining along in the laughter, Harry nodded.

" come home after 15 minutes, get dressed and follow little white notes okay. See you soon babe " he spoke so fast that Harry barely understood a word but he left faster than he had spoken leaving Harry excited and confused.

Just like Draco had said, Harry returned home 15 minutes later, freshened up, got dressed and finally started finding little white notes. The first one he found quite easily right over the mirror.

" find me where you know I hate those little rings "

Harry thought for a moment, wondering about wherever he hated the rings but Draco loved them. And suddenly just then his eyes fell upon the glass of water, a coaster beneath it. The ring Draco hated, water rings. He immediately ran out to the living room and looking over the coffee table.

" found it " Harry Whispered to himself picking the little white note from beneath the coaster. He went one after another notes, taking his time to solve the riddle and swearing Draco for the most part for doing something like that.

He finally reached the last note reading it only one and figuring it immediately

" meet me where the green had never looked so good and the storm had never raged "

Painting Harry reached the Richmond hill, London, a patronus waiting for him right there. He followed the little light, leading to Draco who was staring over the hill enjoying the view. He must've crushed a stick Because immediately turned around

" damn you're slow" Draco chuckled as he saw Harry

" hey I got confused with the 2nd and 3rd one, I figured the last one pretty easily, also 6 years into relationship you should know that I'm shit at riddles " Harry told

Shaking his head with a little smile Draco continued " you remembered ?"

Harry furrowed his brows with a little surprised smile " what? You thought if it were the 4th date, I wouldn't remember it! The green never looked so good and the storm had never raged? It was the easiest one, I remember everything draco. You told me that night that green-"

" is your favourite colour because of my eyes-"

" is my favourite colour because of your eyes" they said simultaneously. Smiling at the verbal connection Harry enclosed the distance between them.

" your eyes still just as beautiful as they were that day " Harry Whispered smiling.

" they still vary colour everyday " Harry added

" well If you could only see you from my eyes. You'd understand why it does it everyday " Draco smiled putting his arms Around Harry's waist, fondly looking in Harry's eyes which glowed with little yellow freckles because of the reflection of the lights Draco had decorated the place with.

" thought you said it's a pureblood thing ?" Harry frowned putting his arms around Draco's neck

" it is. But it varies colours because each day I look at you in a different way than I have before. One for each day I have loved you so long " Draco smiled. With a flick of his wrist, Draco turned on the slow music, I'm yours by Jason marz playing slowly over the radio.

Harry was left speechless, finding it hard to describe in words how much more he loved Draco but he suspected that even if Harry's eyes didn't change colour each day, Draco knew that Harry loved him in ways he'd never loved anyone else and probably would never love anyone else more. Smiling Harry put his head over his shoulders and started swaying. lightly to the music.

" I remember this song playing from the car parked not far from here " Harry Whispered

" I think it suits well for both of us" Draco mumbled tightening his grip around Harry's waist.

Harry smiled knowing Draco was smiling just like he was. 6 years of being together yet they loved each other just like they had loved one another when they first confessed their I love you's, the same way when Harry was away for the first Christmas, the same way when Draco was banished from malfoy family, the same way when Harry was away for a mission for 2 months, the same way when they loved each other during and after the first fight, the same way they had felt on the day of marriage and had promised to love everyday till death part them. In a way just like million others this song was also Just their own and they found it quite nice to having been a part of something they chose to belong to even if it also belonged to the rest of the world. In trillions of moments, the song by Fate had played in that moment but they were 2 simple boys having no choice bought together by fate, and had they never regretted it.

And for the second time in the entire life they spent together, in the moments of revelation, the song played for the second time

" and the world said we'd never make it through " Draco smiled staring up at the sky at the stars, Harry's head over his shoulders, his face nuzzled in Draco's neck, cuddling comfortably.

Harry hummed in response, his arms hung loosely around Draco's body. It was not long after when Draco heard Harry's light snoring. Smiling to himself, Draco retrieved the blanket, covered both of them us and slept peacefully, just like he did for the rest of his life for he never loved anyone like he did Harry, he didn't had to. He was enough; more than enough if so.

Requests open

Day 21- little jars of love | Day 23- ten times Harry fell for Draco

[stuck-in-hawkins]

When He Left- October 29th 1993

Stranger Things Fanfic

Pairing: Will Byers/ Mike Wheeler

Read on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24656785/chapters/69920109

Will jolted awake, drenched in a cold sweat. The dream was forgotten as soon as he woke, but the fear lingered like smoke. The way his heart was pounding he knew enough to tell it had been a nightmare of the mind flayer sort. Running… that was all he could remember. The air seemed denser and harder to breathe. He had to concentrate on each breath. His body didn’t feel like his own, it felt like a puppet he was trying to command. And a new sensation prickled at his spine: Cold.

He froze, straining his ears for a sound, anything that resembled the guttural, animal sounds of the demon who had haunted his nights for the past 10 years. He heard something out in the living room.

Mike. He was sleeping on the couch. He would be able to shake Will out of this in-between state. He’d go out, see Mike, and reality would set in again.

He opened the door quietly, or at least, he opened it slowly. He couldn’t hear much over the pounding in his ears and the gnawing sounds that he knew was just the remains of the night terror. It was just the normal sounds of the fan blades spinning mixed with all the chattering noise of the city. They would be familiar again once he’d shaken off the lingering fears. They would stop sounding like the chewing of flesh.

He couldn’t trust his senses. He just had to speak to someone who could shake him out of it. He didn’t feel embarrassment in that moment, he could feel nothing else but the fear and cold. He walked down the hallway. He could see the back of the couch and Mike’s shadow as he moved. Will was trying to make it out in the dark. Mike must have unplugged the night light in the hallway. Will could only see by what the street lights illuminated from the window.

It looked like Mike’s back was arched. Will’s stomach dropped as he saw the taut gray skin stretched over sinew. The sounds of chewing. He stepped on a board and the creak drew the attention of the demogorgon, who looked at him with its blood stained rows of teeth and screeched.

Will gasped and opened his eyes. He was still in his room, he could breathe again. He took in every sense he could: the smell of his sweat soaked sheets, the wind on his skin as the fan circulated the air, the click of the clock as the numbers flipped from 4:49 to 4:50, the warm glow from the night light in his room. He whipped off the sheets and took in breath after breath, trying to slow them down, to hold onto the air in his lungs and stave off hyperventilation. With every sense, he distanced himself from the sensories of the dream. Upon waking, he’d realized how many of these things had been missing from the dream but… it all felt so real.

He put his head in his hands and sobbed. His brain had played with the cruelest of scenarios… losing Mike. He had to see. He knew it had been a dream but he had to see Mike and make sure he was still there.

He opened his door without caring for the sound now. He didn’t want to play into the fear. He listened to each step echo as he padded his way into the living room. He got to the couch and looked over to see Mike sleeping soundly. His long curls scattered across the pillow, the gentle breeze of air through his lips.

Will clutched his chest, his heart was still thumping against the inside of his rib cage. Slow breaths. Come back down, he coached himself. Mike was okay. He was sleeping peacefully, untouched.

His own mind had betrayed him. To have twisted reality into such a cruel form. To let him think he was dead...

Would it do this to him every night that Mike was here?

There was a stirring on the couch and Will wiped his eyes. Mike had turned to lie on his back. Will watched Mike’s chest rise and fall. He knew he shouldn’t be out here, hovering over Mike. God forbid he woke up and saw him. He’d think Will was a creep, or Will would have to tell him his dream. Both were equally awful scenarios. So, he turned back towards his room to wait for daylight, knowing there was no way he’d be able to sleep.

As he made his way to the hall, his foot caught the strap of Mike’s backpack and nearly toppled him over.

“Fuck!” He hissed, catching himself.

“Will?” Came that beautiful, groggy voice. He remembered a time, however brief, when it had been the first sound he heard in the morning.

“Sorry… I just came out for some water.” He didn’t look back.

“Are you okay?” Mike sat up on the couch, dazed and concerned.

“Y-yeah.” And Will heard his voice waver. It gave him away. He turned to Mike, he’d have to face him after a failed attempt like that. He faked a smile and gave a thumbs up. Another pathetic attempt, he chided himself.

He could see the worry in Mike’s brow, in those big brown eyes. He wordlessly pleaded Will not to go.

Will hesitated and Mike took the opportunity, “Can you show me how to work the TV? I kind of like to have background noise while I sleep.”

Will knew what it was. Mike was coaxing him to the couch, bringing him in, the way he used to after an episode. Mike had learned over the years not to expect an honest answer from the question, ‘Are you okay?’

Will made his way over, “What? You aren’t lulled to sleep by the serene sounds of the city?” Will played it off with sarcasm but he was still shaken. He grabbed the remotes. “This one is for the TV and this one is for the VCR. We don’t have a lot of channels but I can get out a movie if you want.”

“Just the TV’s fine.”

Will turned it on. There were lions stalking in tall grass. National Geographic.

Mike said, “This is good.”

Will nodded, and forced a smile. “Remind you of home?”

“Oh, yeah. The wilderness of Indiana.”

Mike reached over Will’s hand and took the remote, their fingers touched for a moment. Nothing felt more tempting in the whole world. To just take Mike’s hand, to fall into him, to lose himself in those arms. But knowing now why Mike was there, he couldn’t. He had wanted to tell Mike; to be upfront about his feelings, but how could he? Mike, Lucas, and Max were all coming out of concern for Will, to wait out the anniversary. He didn’t want to put Mike in a position of having to turn him down.

Still, Will was weak and wishing for comfort. He ought to leave. He had been about to get up when he saw the lion tear at the flesh of a gazelle and he jerked his head away. The image of blood dripping from the demon’s mouth was still fresh from the dream. Mike changed the channel quickly. Will put his head in his hands. So much for playing it off.

Mike’s hand was on his arm. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But you don’t have to pretend either.”

Will couldn’t look at him. “Dustin told you.”

“About the night terrors? Yeah, he did.”

“What did he say?”

“Not much. Just that they were coming back.”

“That’s it?” Will brought his hands down and searched Mike’s face for the truth.

“Yeah. I swear, Will. I was worried and kept asking him what was up but he said that if I wanted to know… I could come here, and ask you myself.”

Will looked ahead and nodded. Dustin really was a good friend.

Mike said, “I’m sorry I haven’t been here.”

“What are you talking about? We talk on the phone all the time.”

“But I’m not here.”

Will shrugged, “You’re here when it matters.”

Will didn’t say it in so many words, but Mike knew what he’d meant. The last time he’d come to California had been for June’s funeral. Will and June hadn’t dated since high school there but they had still been close. Will took care of him at the end. When it was all hospital visits, talking with nurses, and a long goodbye that stretched over days. After his death, Will’s grief had pulled a fog over those days and they all seemed to blur together. But Mike had been there for him, like a lighthouse in a storm.

Mike’s voice was soft, “Do you want to talk about what you saw?”

Will shook his head, “Not really…”

“Okay. Do you want to watch something out here for a bit?”

“I don’t want to keep you up.”

“You won’t. Look.” He plopped his head down on Will’s shoulder and slumped over, “I’m already asleep.”

Will could feel his senses ignite under the touch with an all too pleasant warmth. It was a welcome feeling that shook away the memory of the all encompassing cold from his dream. He wondered if Mike was doing it on purpose. If he knew how the touch was sweeping away the terror.

He playfully smooshed his hand into Mike’s face, “Oh yeah? Fast asleep, right?’

Mike laughed and sat up. He flicked through the few channels between the static noise. The gray crackle alerting them when he’d reached the last channel. In the early hours, the only things that seemed to be on were infomercials and televangelists. Mike avoided the National Geographic channel and as he was flicking back, he heard the familiar notes, ‘-beautiful day in the neighborhood.” He clicked back to it and looked at Will with a wry smile.

“We are not watching this.” Will said.

“What’s wrong with Mr. Rogers?”

“We are two grown-”

“Don’t pretend you didn’t have a Daniel the Tiger stuffed animal. You smothered that thing for all of Kindergarten and brought it over to most sleepovers until you were 10.”

Will fired back, “What about you? Remember that library questionnaire in 2nd grade? When you were scared to put it down as your favorite show?”

“I’ve grown past my denial stage unlike you. Besides, if there is any show that will help us fall back asleep, it’s this one.”

“I don’t know. QVC could do the job just fine.”

Mike handed Will the remote and sat back so that their arms were touching. The sensation echoed through Will’s every nerve ending. He left the show on and laid back, leaning into the touch ever so slightly.

Will didn’t know what he was doing. It was a bad idea to be this close to Mike after an episode. Everything in him longed to curl up into him, to let himself be held. And Mike was just there, toeing the line. Offering enough touch to make it all confusing, to send him into the stars wishing and hoping for something that he knew couldn’t happen. Mike would never leave Hawkins. And Will wouldn’t leave California.

All the same, Will didn’t want to go back to bed. He’d rather stay in the uncertainty, absorbing every kindness, gesture, and touch. He was scared to close his eyes in that dark room lest he return to the same hellish visions.

They watched through the episode and made jibes at the ridiculousness but then a moment came on and both of them got kind of quiet. The man named Clemmons sang, “There Are Many Ways to Say I Love You,” and Will caught Mike staring intently, the way he did when he was looking for meaning in a movie scene.

Mike caught Will’s quizzical look and answered it, “I never realized how profound this show was. I mean it’s a little hokey. But, no one… talks about love like that. Just so openly.” He shrugged, “Two guys sitting with their feet in a pool singing about love… who does that? It feels embarrassing to watch, but I wish it wasn’t.” He said quietly, “I wish it was more normal to do that.”

Will responded, “I think, it doesn’t feel normal because it’s for kids, so everything is said out loud and in the open, so it can be explained. Things that aren’t usually talked about.”

“I guess. I don’t know. I… there have been moments with you guys, where I just-” he shrugged, “When you guys all flew back home to see El after we found her… I went to bring in El’s lunch and everyone was around her bed, trying to comfort her. I remember just wishing I could have said it right then. That there was some way to tell you all…”   ____________________________________________________________________

Will remembered that day. How eerie and unfamiliar El was. The last time he had seen her, she had been all rage, hell bent on finding Brenner. She had left a hole in their lives, all to destroy the man who had once been a nightmare but had come to haunt her days. When Hopper found El, wandering the streets of New York, they all thought she had lost, that Brenner had scrambled her brain the way he had with her mother.

It was months later that they pieced it all together: the CAT scans that showed the scarred tissue in her brain, the article of a burned down government facility in Montauk, New York written by a familiar journalist. She had pushed herself too far. She sacrificed everything to make sure that there was never a 012.

Will stood in the room with this shell of their former friend. The girl who had whispered words of hope all those years ago, who had shut out the demons from the other world, was silent and stared like she was looking beyond the people gathered around her, somewhere far off.

Will remembered the heavy sinking feeling in his gut, wondering how long Mike would still be chasing her. Mike finally had El back, but only in body. Her mind, her personality, everything else that Mike had loved about her once was gone. What if Mike was hoping for something that El was no longer capable of?

When Mike had come back into the room, holding the tray of waffles, he looked so uncertain, like he was afraid to hope. But then he had looked up at his friends, and his eyes looked glassy, and a small, grateful smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. ___________________________________________________________

Will pondered about the moment and about the song, “I think that's exactly what they are saying. Love doesn’t have to be said to be felt. I remember that moment, by the way, you coming into the room. You had this look and you were saying it, even if you didn’t know you were.”

And there was this soulful look in Mike’s eyes, of genuine love and gratitude. It made Will want to melt.

It was quiet for a moment. And suddenly Will didn’t trust himself. Talking about love with Mike, being so weak after an episode, it all made him just want to pull Mike in close. To have their lips crash in a sensation that was only a faded memory now.

So, Will redirected their focus, “How’s El been? Has there been any progress with her talking?”

Mike shook his head. “The doctors say that she probably won’t be able to talk again. They’re calling it global aphasia but they can’t explain the scar tissue. Global aphasia is normally something that happens after a stroke… affects all the areas of that part of the brain, not only speaking language but understanding it. The scar tissue wasn’t just from Montauk. It was built up over time. Everytime she used her powers… she was using that part of her brain… communicating and it was all hurting her. The only way the doctor could really explain her condition was to compare it with concussions. Just recurring injury overtime. Never being given the chance to heal…”

“Maybe… maybe he has it wrong. I mean he doesn’t know the whole story, right?”

Mike shook his head, “He may not have all the pieces. But everything he’s saying makes sense. So, we’re going to stop trying to rebuild her language. It's only been frustrating and... in all likelihood... it can't come back. It makes no sense to push her. So, we’ve been using sign language and there’s been a lot more progress. She can sign basic functions, hunger, bathroom, hot, cold, tired. She doesn’t have as many outbursts now. She still can get overwhelmed at times and then the signs go out the window but… yeah.” Mike could hear his own frustration and apologized, “Sorry. I don't mean to complain.”

“It’s not complaining, Mike. You’re allowed to talk about the tough parts, you don’t have to gloss it over.”

Mike sighed, “I know. I just hate sounding like a downer. I am happy to have her back. And this is improvement.”

“It is.” Will had to make every effort to keep the concern out of his voice. He knew the toll it was all taking on Mike and Hopper.

“And, she has really started to join the space a little more. She’s mostly in her own world but she’ll come to the dinner table, sit with us for TV. And I’ve been taking her out places lately, just around town. A little at a time. She actually seems to look forward to them now. It’s nice.”

Will faked a smile, “That’s great.” He wanted to be happy for Mike that he’d found a way to be content but an old worry crept, wanting a foothold in the conversation.

Mike turned toward the TV and fell silent, having read some sign in Will’s face. “Don’t pity me, Will, please. Not you.”

The comment shot through Will. All those times he hated when people had done the very same to him, “I don’t!”

“Then, say what you actually were thinking. Please.”

Will averted his eyes, his fingers fiddling with the throw pillow. “You… you do things for yourself too, right?”

“What do you mean?”

Will instantly wanted to recoil, to backtrack the conversation. But it had been weighing on him for months.

“It’s just… over this past year… just…” Why couldn’t he get the words out? He breathed and tried to make the thoughts coherent. He hated how the words would just get stuck inside him.

He finally shoved the words out. “You used to volunteer for IYG. You used to go to game nights at the comic book store. You used to go on dates… but since El started living with you… one by one. All those things have stopped.” He took the risk of looking Mike’s way and he could see it. The way his brow crinkled when he was about to get defensive. But he also saw him trying to hold it back.

“Look, I get why- why you’re concerned. But I’m okay. My life has just- it’s changed. It’s changed a lot. I can’t do a lot of the same stuff: volunteering at the youth group, those game nights- they would take up several hours. They were commitments. And I just don’t have that kind of time, anymore.”

“And the dating?”

Mike shook his head. “It was more stressful and aggravating than it was worth. It felt like I was constantly feeling either rejected or disappointed. And once I stopped chasing, once I just decided to stop, I felt so much better. Like the pressure was off. So now, I do the domestic stuff. The cooking, maintaining the house, taking care of El, and I enjoy it, Will. Maybe it’s not the type of life you or Dustin would want, but I’m content with it.”

That last part had hurt. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just… I worry is all. You give too much of yourself, Mike. You give your all until there’s nothing left.”

Mike took in Will’s words, considered them. “I have Hopper and your mom. They give me a break when I need it. And I do things for myself, too. I’ve been reading a lot more. And, while I don’t have a novel planned out, I’m getting ideas. I want to write again. When my coworkers get together on lunch break, I will usually go out with them, as long as it’s not in a bar. I do things. I promise I am okay.”

Will nodded. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

Mike got up, “You don’t need to apologize, Will. I don't think you're the only one that's thought it, but you're the only one that's talked about it. It's sort of become the elephant in the room. I… I’m sort of glad you asked. Talking about it with you, I..." He stumbled over his words, "Just... Thank you for listening.” He threw a smile over his shoulder as walked over to his suitcase.

Will’s heart jumped like it was catching the smile. Mike's sincere words nestled themselves in Will's rib cage. Mike had been so open. Will knew what was coming. They were unloading burdens from their mind and now the ball was in his court. He had just asked Mike something very personal. It was Will’s turn to offer something back, he’d have to tell him about the nightmare. But he’d wait to be asked.

Mike offered, “Let’s make breakfast.”

Will blinked. “What?”

“Breakfast. I am insanely hungry right now. I don’t know if it’s a jet lag but I’m wide awake and ready for the day.” He took out his clothes for the day from his suitcase and pulled out a grocer’s bag.

“But… it’s not even 5 in the morning. You’ll be exhausted.”

“Yeah. It’ll probably mean another early night for me.”

“But aren’t you going back to sleep?”

“Are you?” Mike looked up, eyebrows raised, taking the supplies into the kitchen and setting them out on the counter.

Will answered honestly, “Probably not.”

“Then might as well take the opportunity to make you my world famous chocolate peanut butter pancakes.”

“I’m sorry, your what?”

“Chocolate peanut butter pancakes.” He pulled out a jar of peanut butter from the bag.

“No. I mean ‘World Famous’. You can’t claim that status unless anyone else has tried them outside of Indiana.”

“Official title is pending.” He then took out some Reese’s Cups, cocoa, pancake mix, and chocolate chips.

Will laughed, “Did you pack those?”

“Nah. Dustin took me to the store yesterday. I knew I wanted to make them sometime this week. And turns out today’s the day.”

Will smiled as he watched Mike start getting things ready in the kitchen. He got up from the couch to help Mike find all the necessary supplies. Will couldn’t help the happiness floating up inside him. He knew he owed Mike a conversation but for now, he was just all smiles. Mike was giving up his sleep to be awake beside Will. He knew what Mike was doing. It was to distract him from the fear, to distract them both from the weights they carried. For the moment, it was all someplace far away. For this morning, they were just two friends stumbling around the kitchen, making a mess. Will watched Mike mix up the ingredients, his profile more gorgeous than ever as the early morning light began to come in through the windows. Although Will’s old wounds echoed their memories, warning him, Will couldn’t stop himself from falling in love all over again.

[nctinfo]

[TRANS] Doyoung, Jaehyun & Jungwoo’s interview with GQ Korea April 2020 issue!

Doyoung

You're wearing a hoodie with a bear on it and a denim jacket. It's the kind of style I normally like too. I enjoy wearing casual and everyday clothes that aren’t particularly in fashion.

What color stands out the most in your closet? sky blue, blue and cold tones are colors I have the most shirts in. Simple shirts that don't stick to your body.

What color shows your taste in music? Can you name a specific record? '추억은 사랑을 닮아 (Memories Resemble Love)', a song on Park Hyoshin's 5th album. It's a different kind of music from what NCT has shown. I think I'm able to do experimental music and music that stands out thanks to the members. I'm doing music I can't do by myself to my heart's content.

Even when you take a blind test you'd be able to guess it's Doyoung's voice because of the clear tone and aesthetics it has. I first started singing in middle school. Audition programs were very popular at the time, and it was the era where unique vocalists began to draw attention. Because I also wanted to make singing my job, I thought I had to find my own color without any bias. 

Do you know your own strengths as a vocalist? My mom sometimes jokingly says "who gave birth to such a pretty voice?". I think the biggest advantage is that it has a tone that can blend well into the various genres like Hip-Hop, R&B, and EMD pop that NCT's music has.

When you were performing 'BOSS' a video clip of you raising the two octaves up to three octaves became a big topic. Are you the type that isn't afraid to sing high notes? To tell you the behind story, that range was a bit more comfortable. I prepared in advance to get myself comfortable and to be able to scream as much as I want. At that time, I wanted to be a strong team during live performances, so all the members spent a lot of time practicing like it was a real battle.

NCT 127's second full-length album is just three days away. During these times, what do the members talk about? "Now, now, let's start practicing the choreography for the 100 million views in a week music video", "Practice for the no.1 song on music shows choreography starts now." (laughs) We have a job where we have to prepare something for a long time and then show it all in a moment. If you think too much about the success that is possible, you have no choice but to be focused. These days, as time goes by, I try not to cling too much to that. It is more important to make an album that we can be satisfied with now.

The title song 'Kick It' has impressive dance moves that are inspired by oriental martial arts. We worked together with a martial arts director to shoot the music video. Each member had their own action scene, but everyone was spinning and flying as the camera started spinning. It was amazing. Everyone was so good to the point you would doubt we had just started learning it. I was a bit worried because I'm not the type to be confident in using my body. I was changing my clothes after we were done and while I was wondering how the shoot would end up, I saw that my hands were all cracked. I told myself I had worked hard.

You seem like a person who gives 200% in a moment of crisis. In the variety show <The Law of the Jungle> you jumped into the sea at night without a doubt. I'm the type to do something properly if you're gonna do something careless. I think I didn't want to make it an embarrassing moment. When I jumped into the sea, I was really afraid.  Nevertheless, the reason I did it without fear was because I felt like I had to do something because I had come a long way.

Who is like a hero to Doyoung? You might think it's a boring answer, but it's the staff who help us and the fans. I released this recently. After we finished recording late a night I coincidentally had a look around the office. Even at that late hour, there were so many familiar faces. Many thoughts crossed my mind at that time.

Jaehyun

What do you think of the moment you wake up in the morning? 'It's already morning. I have to wash up.' An ordinary routine.

Do you like velvet? My attention was grasped by velvet training pants the moment I entered the studio earlier. I've been wearing velvet outfits on stage and I've been told that it matches me well. Since then, I started wearing it often with confidence.

You wear a lot of various clothes, like in today's photoshoot too, but what do you think shows your charms best? It feels good when I wear a suit. There was also this techwear look from the music video 'Let's Shut Up & Dance' when we worked with Jason Derulo. I like that too.

Have you thought about what you'd like to do if you could make a transformation? I have wanted to grow my hair long since last year. Growing it to the bottom of your ear and then tucking it behind, I thought it looked cool when I saw past pictures of Leonardo Dicaprio or of the hairstyles of Timothée Chalamet.

Do you have something like that? An aura you really want to have. There are people who look simple in ordinary life, but who look professional when they do their job. You can feel their skills. I want to be like that.

It feels just right looking at NCT's perfect stages. What's the highlight of the performance this time? Since debut, we’ve said NCT's style is 'NEO'. We try hard to reach that level every time. For the title song 'Kick It', the music, choreography, and outfits are very conceptual. There are also moves that are reminiscent of Bruce Lee's martial arts. I think our team's synergy definitely comes out when we have new and unique concepts.

This 2nd full album has 13 songs of various genres. Which song do you like most? The is an R&B ballad song titled 'White Night'. It started with the lyrics "it’s quietly getting darker". I was in charge of the first line, and I was focused on the details such as emotions, beat, and pitch. I recorded the "quietly" part several times. I have some attachments to it.

The soft bass tone seems to be Jaehyun's color of voice. I care a lot about tone and emotion, but interestingly, the tone of my voice has become lower than when I debuted. There's a part in me that wants to show myself more by signing than by dancing. From the start, I have received a lot of stress from singing, but as much as that, I also received a sense of fulfillment. I want to continue doing well.

What song would you recommend to someone who wants to hear Jaehyun's voice? 'Coming home', a song that was released last winter. It's a calm song centered on vocals that I sung with Taeil-hyung, Doyoung-hyung and Haechanie.

You said before you like your hands because they are pretty, right? Seeing them myself, I can agree. What do you want to achieve with those hands? I've been playing the piano for a long time, but I want to improve my skills. I feel at ease when I play the piano. And I'm the type to do anything well that requires my hands, the members sometimes call me 'golden hands'. I hope I can do well in anything.

Is there something you're the best at in the team? I'm confident in running. Since I was a kid, I loved sports so much that being an athlete was also a dream of mine. So when it comes to sports, I'm the.... Hahaha

I heard you watch movies when you want to relax. Is there anything you have been enjoying lately? I watched <Baby Driver> again yesterday. I've seen it three times, but the scenes and the music match perfectly, so I get excited every time I see it. I saw <Before Sunrise> several times too.

Do you also look up old stage videos or music videos? I sometimes do, but once I start watching the music videos starting from our debut song 'the 7th sense' to the latest, I will get hooked on it. When I just debuted I was still fresh but also a bit stiff. I also have memories of the Mickey Mouse 90th Anniversary Concert which was broadcasted by ABC in America. During the first tour of North America last year, I developed an aspiration for languages. When I was young, I lived in America for a while and learned some English, which has helped me and I saw how having [language] skills are a benefit.

This album starts with the song 'Elevator'. Where do you want to go up with NCT? As far as we can go.

Jungwoo

I've seen lots of pictures of Jungwoo wearing a fanny pack. Backpacks are big and uncomfortable so I only carry what I need in my fanny pack.

What does it usually carry? Contact lenses, eye drops, nail clipper, masks, bands, and ointments. Eye drops are an essential. My eyes become tired [/dry] when I wear lenses for a long time.

What is the style Jungwoo likes to wear? First of all, it should be comfortable. I usually wear training clothes and I'm often told that NormCore clothes look good on me, so I try to wear items that don't stand out too much. I think flashy things don't really suit me. 

What? No matter how you look at it, you wore fancy and bold clothes today. It’s also curious to me. I like to challenge myself to wear different kinds of styles.

What is the image you try to have? I want to have a dreamy and bright atmosphere. I hope that when people see me they are fascinated and are curious about me.

What kind of person for you think is really cool? Justin Bieber. His style and music have his own unique color. Not only me, but all the members are fans too. I saw Justin Bieber's YouTube documentary yesterday. Besides the external stories, seeing him overcome the agony and growing pains of being an artist, made me like him even more.

What is something surprising about Jungwoo? That I'm purely a hard worker. I don't think I have many talents I was born with. I'm more like someone who will achieve results as much as I worked for it. So I put a lot of effort into anything I want to do.

Is anything possible if you just try hard? Looking at NCT's stages, I think there's more to it than just effort. I often look at others to find out how they do it. When we had a stage on the famous American talk show <Jimmy Kimel Live>, I was able to see and analyze the other stages that were on the program. The ways to walk with the camera and how it appears on the screen. So like that, I learn a lot.

Jungwoo has a very clean and impressive voice, but we heard you passed the audition by dancing. This is also kinda surprising [a twist]. When I was in elementary school, I watched the music shows and became interesting in dancing. But later, when I was recording, the music director told me I had a fascinating charm to my voice since he couldn't really tell if I was singing in falsetto or not. After hearing that, I decided to I should develop my voice into a good one and use it as an advantage to show myself.

What is your favorite track in this album? There is this song called 'Pandora's Box' and when I first heard the guide version, the lyrics 'remember this moment, us, our moment' really stood out to me. I imagined how it would be like if we would sing this with the fans at a concert, and I thought it would really turn out great.

When was the most miraculous moment in your life? When I joined NCT. It felt like a dream. I cried a lot when I came down after finishing my debut stage on the music show. I was happy but also felt regret. I remember the members encouraging me by saying "it's okay, you did well".

What do you think is your role in the team? No matter how, I seem to be the mood maker. I make a lot of jokes. If there would be 100 people, all 100 would be laughing. My humor level seems to match well with Doyoung-hyung especially.

The other members say Jungwoo hasn't shown his full potential yet, they say you have a lot of various sides. I think it can also mean that it's still unclear what I will do next. I often hear that I'm pretty unique. Could you say I'm 8D? (laughs) I too, don't know fully yet who I am.

Do you like that personality? There's only one my in this world. I want the person named Jungwoo to become a new genre. New, unique. In order to do that, I have to accept what I have and work hard to show the charms of it. 

Translation: Esmee @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: Grazia Scan — Do not repost or take out without our permission!

[kpopseregi]

flowergirl. Chapter 2

(credit gif to owners)

link to chap 1 -- ( flowergirl. Chap.1 )

* flowergirl. Chap. 2

Genre : Soulmate AU

Pairing : Yunho X Reader / Woosan / Seongjoong

Warning : none except light curse words. 

Recommended playlist : Talk To Me- Red Velvet

Words : 1.7k+  

                The morning came. Yunho has never been so energized like that in his whole life. Even if it just for a moment, it’s already been a colorful life for Yunho’s. Just imagine if they were together. Ah, what a heaven. *RINGSS RINGSS* (sorry im bad at imitating those alarm clocks TT) Shit, he was running late, Hongjoong gonna spank his sorry ass. (He likes it tho :p) He wear his usual boyfriend’s look, to impress his soulmate, Nana. Speaking of her, he curious about that Wooyoung guy. Was he her’s boyfriend? Please no. He waited for her long enough. Damn it! Another daydreaming. He gasped after looking at his watch and races to the door.

-

                He arrived at Hongjoong’s place in 10 minutes with hope that he is not going to get killed by that tiny boss. Just his luck, Hongjoong was also running late. “Ayy lover boy, come here, I need you to arrange what Hongjoong has extracted 2 months ago.” Mingi smirked. Yunho was flustered. “What lover? You’re wish.” Too late, San has already informed everybody. As expected, Reporter Choi San doing his duty. Well,this is a big news as Yunho never has a girlfriend despite all his friend has one before encountered their respectful soulmate. ‘Saying about being loyal.’ Mingi shrugged. Heck! Even clumsy Mingi had ten and more before he met Aisha. Ehem.... for some experience. Damn, that tall girl already dominated Mingi’s little princess heart with her boyish charm. Blessed with great figure and athletic abilities, Mingi was so damn grateful. Suddenly...

                *BANG*  As they were about to do some work, Hongjoong slammed the door. Poor those big babies almost has mini heart attack. ‘Well,his expressions doesn’t seem that great’ Mingi and Yunho exchanged looks and thinking the same thing. (plot twist:real soulmate -.-). “Do I looks like someone who would cheat to you?!” That tiny man ask both of them. They just shakes their head. “Right!? How the hell he get that idea that I would cheat with my customers? How the hell did he even become my soulmate? Aren’t soulmate SUPPOSED to trust and understand each other? Why the hell this world has this soulmate thingy? I should just live in somebody’s pocket,” Hongjoong rolled his eyes. Then he slammed his workroom door. Poor doors. 

               “I didn’t even know Hongjoong have soulmate?” Yunho asked Mingi. “Well, how the hell you would know? They broke up just before you came on your first day. That’s why Hongjoong was a bit mean when he interviewed you. But don’t worry, deep down, he is a kind man. Damn, I cringed at that.” Mingi and Yunho laughed. “But... aren’t you supposed to stay with your soulmate through thick and thin?” Mingi just sighed. “It’s the couple decision to break up or to stay. But in returns, your heart is the one suffering. So it’s better to treat your soulmate well.” Yunho smiled. “Nice words, clumsy Mingi.” Mingi grinned.

                                  The bell rings to indicate new customer has come in. Yunho was about to greet the customer but the customer has backhugged him. He blinked. “Umm... who are you?” Yunho’s heart started to race, this time it’s not that ‘crush-looking-at-you’ kind but ‘shit-is-that-a-burglar?’ kind. “It’s me bro!” San yelled excitedly. Yunho sighed. “Bro you scared me!” Yunho whined. San actually was on his morning break to grab some coffee after his morning weather forecast news but decided to hang out at Hongjoong”s shop instead. “How’s my big babie Mingi doing?” Mingi popped his head from the store room. “Doing well Sannie! Aisha surprised me with a private event last night for our 2nd anniversary.” Mingi excitedly share his story with a dreamy face. San nods. “And you Yunho?” Yunho sighs. “Hopefully I can meet her today tho.” He pouts. “Where is that exactly?” Yunho just shrugged his shoulders. “I met her at the alleyway that goes straight to P.S flower shop.” San squints his eyes. “Is that what I think I heard? She has connection with Park Seonghwa then?” San mumbled. “What?” Yunho asks in curiosity. “Nothing! Oh, look at the time! Chief Kim gonna search for me, take care guys!” San headed toward the door. Yunho and Mingi just waves to his back.

-

                “Yah Nana, look at meeeee!” Wooyoung stomped his foot. “Shut the f up Wooyoung. You know I can’t even look at myself.” Wooyoung suddenly looked guilty. Yeosang nudged him. “Why the hell you said that?” “Sorry! I’m not used to it!” Wooyoung whisper-yelled at Yeosang. “You know she was sensitive about it right? Even she’s pretending like it was nothing.” Wooyoung just sadly stares at her. Yes, even if she was not perfect, Wooyoung still likes her. “Wooyoung, I know you’re staring at me.” Wooyoung just looked away. “When did I do that? You’re mistaken, sis.” Nana rolled her eyes. “BRO, YOU LITERALLY DID THAT WHEN YOU FEEL SAD OR GUILTY ABOUT SOMETHING, I KNOW YOU LIKE THE BACK OF MY HANDS.” 

                                 Wooyoung was startled. “How did you know that?” Wooyoung asked. “Let’s say I use my other sense better after I lost my eyes. Call that intuition. And bro, we literally grew up together.” Suddenly, Yeosang starts to speak, “If you didn’t butt in someone’s business, you probably can still see us you know.” Wooyoung kicked Yeosang’s legs. “Yeosang-ah, don’t be mean!” “What, I speak the facts only.” Yeosang shrugs. Nana bit her lips. “If you didn’t like befriend with someone who likes to butt in someone’s shit, then don’t.”  She left the table. “Sorry Yeo, but you’re being a dick. Wait Nana!” Wooyoung chases after Nana. “I don’t like to befriend with a stupid whose slow with his love life either.” Yeosang sips his tea.

-

                    Nana arrived at the rooftop of her school. Wooyoung quietly closes the door. “Am I being stupid Wooyoung?” Wooyoung shakes his head, ah, he forgot Nana can’t see him. “Nope, no at all, Nana.” “I didn’t even asked to be blind! I never thought it would backfires on me! If only... “ Nana sobbed. Wooyoung hugged her. “No, Park Nana. You did the right thing. You do know that God help someone who helps other people right?” Nana nodded. “Good, and you know Yeosang didn’t mean what he said right? He just worried like me and Seonghwa after the news. He is the one who panicked the most you know? Saying things such as ‘Wooyoung if something happens to my baby while you’re slow driving right now,you’re dead.’ He cares about you like a lot.” Wooyoung shuddered. 

                   “Okay, I should probably search for him.” Nana seems a bit touched and pulled back. Wooyoung saw the snorts attached to his uniform but didn’t say anything. “Sorry for that Wooyoung, to watching me crying my ugly ass” Wooyoung shakes his head. “As long as my princess happy.” Nana smiled. The nickname he used on her still used till today. Strangely, they’ve never fight. Just annoying here and there, mainly Wooyoung started it tho. This special bond they’ve shared till this day never failed to amazed them. 

-

                  They went back into the class. Other students badmouthing Nana right in front of her as they were jealous with how beautiful and smart Nana is before that accident happens. The badmouthing now has worsen since Nana became blind, saying she’s an attention seeker. And Nana just start loosing her confidence. Before, she would retort to those rumors strongly but now she’s scared they will be worsen and she can’t protect herself if Wooyoung and Yeosang were not around. But when Wooyoung came, they changed their attitude. Yeosang can’t stand this kind of behavior. “Hey you bitch one and bitch two. Stand up.” The girls who were badmouthing Nana stands up instantly. If Nana was a gun, Yeosang was a bazooka. That kid never losing a verbal fight even once in his life. Straight up burn everyone with his words alone.  

                   “Wooyoung and me didn’t fail our last year final exam on purpose and retake this year just to hear you bullying Nana. Your face doesn’t get approved even if you just wished to be our girlfriends. Even a tons of make up and plastic surgeries will not cover your ugliness because that comes from your heart. Yet you call an ulzzang and natural face like her an ugly woman? Apologize.” The girls were speechless and stuttered but before Yeosang could raise his voice, Nana grabbed his arm. “That’s enough, let’s go Yeosangie.” Yeosang just let her drag him away to their seat. Just in time, the teacher came in and the class starts.  “I’m sorry for earlier Yeosangie.” Yeosang just smiled and patted her head.

-

                 After the school ends, Nana went straight up to Seonghwa’s flower shop. She called for her brother, well, no one is answering. But, after a while, her heart started to beat fast. ‘Shit,not this again.’ She quickly went to hide behind the counter. The door’s bell were ringing and someone sounds breathless as if they just ran. ‘Fuck, I’m not ready to meet him yet!’ “You’re here right? And you can feel it too. Please, I’ve been waiting to get to know you..” Nana’s heart just a bit melted by his sweet voice. “Sorry, but I’m not ready to meet you yet. If you were willing, can we just exchanges name for today? We can take it slow.” As long as that is what his soulmate wants, Yunho obligated. Even if he’s already know what was her name. (Doesn’t want to sound like a stalker~) “My name is Jeong Yunho, and I’m waited for 20 years to serve my beautiful soulmate.” He said it so cheesily that Nana starts to blush. “My name is Nana, I’m sorry but I don’t want you to see me in this condition right now. Can you please leave? You can come when I’m stabilized myself tomorrow.” Yunho just confused and agreed with it as he doesn’t want to come off as pushy soulmate in their first meeting. After he left, Nana released her breath. She didn’t even realised she was holding her breath this whole time. But, she kind of wondering, what kind of face does he has? Dog-like? Cat-like? Doesn’t matter, she can’t see them anyways.  

[schmuwuwu]

A Bitter Sweetness

Synopsis: 

                        An original love story of a picturesque couple, who were expected to be the perfect pair.

Today is the first day of spring. This means that my second year of dating my current boyfriend has been a success. I remember two years ago when I confessed to him. I was such a nervous wreck in front of him that I delayed the confession after failing to start the conversation. I remembered his encouraging smile as he egged me on with such patient eyes. I walk down the path to our usual spot in the park where we’ll start our day of celebrating our 2nd anniversary. My face naturally stretched into a grin as I skip down the cherry blossom-covered path. Its pink and white purity reminds me of the past two years, how we were so awkward with each other that we didn’t know how to kiss compared to now when we would joke whenever we make mistakes.

​As I turn the last corner leading to the park, I spot him waiting at our usual tree. I smile in delight as I watch his nervous demeanour. Though he isn’t a macho or muscular man, he definitely has a certain charm to him. His kind heart and his softness for everyone around him make up his individualism. I walk towards him, a slight skip in my walk. He looks up at the sound of me coming. He dons his adorable smile that shows all of his teeth. I smile back, feeling the excitement bubbling inside me. But somehow, I feel that something about him was different. I push my doubts and worried aside, determined not to have any negative thoughts while on our anniversary date.

He offers his right hand to me as usual and I responded as usual by taking it. He leads me to the pet café that we frequent to a lot. We have been discussing about getting a pet ever since six months ago. I have started to think about a name for a cat and a dog and what breeds they would be lately. We enter the café and order our usual meals, disappointed once again about not meeting the right pet. Due to the location of the café, it is usually quite expensive for us to always afford it. But when we do, we would share meals. I always thought he just wanted to be closer to me. His polite behaviour to others would tend to make me jealous. A stab of pain shot through my heart when I think about how polite he was being, to me and to others. It seems to me that he was treating me like he would to others. And it had already worried me ever since we started dating.

I suddenly feel disappointed and it probably showed on my face because he concernedly peers down on my face. The worry in his eyes seem to be genuine so I let go of the thoughts that held doubt within me. But I couldn’t shake off the insecurity that had already lodged itself in my heart. We leave the café after a wonderful lunch and proceed to stroll around the shopping district. As the contents in our stomach settle, our minds also wander. I could never know what he thinks during these silences. It’s never awkward and it’s comfortable even when we don’t talk about anything. But now I feel insecure. I can’t shake the feeling of not being important of him off my aching heart. Why couldn’t I ignore the insecurity this time like normal? Is it because of how… different he looked when he was waiting for me? My mind wandered further down the rabbit hole.

Then, it occur to me that there has been nothing intimate that happened during the relationship. He never went the extra mile to give me lasting presents and we never had any matching possessions. Was he always prepared to break off the relationship? At this point, I can’t ignore it any longer. This bottomless pit of doubt and distrust that continue to corrode my faith in him. As we walk back to the park as we always do, he takes a sudden turn. With my hand still in his, I am forced to go along with his sudden change in mind. My heart suddenly starts to race. Is he going to put his foot down and renew his loyalty or are my worst fears coming true? He slows to a stop at the willow tree that stares longingly down into the lake.

What’s wrong, he asks with worry in his eyes. His voice filled with kindness now hurt me. I avoid looking into his eyes. His eyes, clear and red. I had thought his eyes were beautiful because the red represented the forward passion of his love for me. Now, I can’t bear looking at his eyes. Not only his eyes but his face and his body. I look at my hands and slowly withdraw them from his. I take in a shaky breath. Why? I ask. Why, what? he asked back. I can only shake my head and swept a hand around us. Why are you so kind to others just as you are to me? You are never selfish with me. I say. Words that I want to say—scream at him—lodge themselves in my throat and my eyes blurred as I think back to the previous two years. Why is it today that I can’t ignore them? Why did I have to listen to them only today?

He was never selfish with me. He never asked for anything more and took everything from me with a sorry instead of a thank you. I kept working hard so that one day he was comfortable enough with me to say a thank you but that day never came. Maybe I was already disheartened ever since the confession. I knew I had pushed him to make a decision due to my timid nature and he probably couldn’t deny me. Just thinking that made my tears suddenly ran down my cheeks. I am jealous that my old self to be able to cry so freely, without any shame. Now, I can only stare down at the ground guiltily and avoid looking up. He stands there in silence, flabbergasted at the sight of my tears. The sun begins to merge into the horizon. As the seconds tick by, the sun carries all my hopes away together with it. He didn’t answer. I close my eyes, trying to steel myself against his words.

He opens his mouth and closes it again, trying to find all the right words to say. It’s okay, I say. I’m sorry if you felt like you had an obligation to fulfil when you accepted my confession. Can you forget all about it? I don’t mind if we stay as friends. I’ve grown tired of waiting for you to come around and treat me as something special. I say with a shaking voice. I am surprised myself for being able to say all of that without breaking down even further. What would traumatise me to never fall in love again was his next few words and what he would never do to me.

Okay. I’m sorry that you had to wait for me but… I also grew tired of waiting for you to come out of your shell. You never expressed your opinions. He replies. Each syllable hit me straight to the heart. He didn’t hold back when he said it. I look up to meet his eyes and could see pity in his eyes. For me? No, it was for him to break up with a girlfriend of two years in a picture-perfect relationship. Sensing that we were over and that we were finally done, I hug him, knowing somehow we will never get to interact ever again anymore. That in the first place, we weren’t meant to meet. Then, I sprint away from him, away from the lone willow tree and away from the setting sun. Away from what was my dream. I slam the door of my bedroom, ignoring the annoyed protests from my brother who I live with.

As I sit on my bed, gazing listlessly outside my window out at the willow tree and to the setting sun, I see his silhouette still standing there, unmoving. Then, I begin to cry again, this time without expecting them to stop. My tears have a mind of their own. They flow non-stop, carrying the brunt of reality along with it. I feel as though suspended in the cold presence of a vacuum, no longer able to feel anything.  Loneliness seep into my heart as the doubts and distrust begin to fade away. I no longer feel burdened about having a relationship but I felt that I had destroyed an irreparable relationship. A relationship that would never be recovered, only meant to be buried. I look back at the past two years again, before closing them off from my heart. I don’t want to remember them again. My first and a hopefully successful relationship has ended as a failure.

 What hurts more than the fact that it was consented is that he never returned that last hug. He had already let go of me before today. I remember the nervous look on his face before he showed me his picture-perfect smile. I only realise, in my stupidity and being blinded in love and hope, his smile was to cover up the discomfort he had felt while he was with me. He never wanted to stay in this relationship. How naïve was I that I didn't notice how he was feeling? Was I really that blinded by love? If love has blinded me to the point of naivety, I don’t want that anymore. If this naivety would cause me pain anyway, I might as well bear this ever-lasting pain that I will feel from this failure for all my life instead of reliving it.

I wish I broke off the relationship sooner. I wish I noticed his discomfort and paid attention to my doubts. I only woke up today. The dreamy state of being in love was like being an illusion that I had destroyed with just one sentence and another from him. I guess that is how fragile love is. I never should have trusted my heart. This deceitful heart which could never find solace. I’m done listening to it. I should have stopped when I noticed just how blue and black I have already become. This painful failure will forever etch the feeling of loneliness in the abyss of my heart, its grip on me eternal and the scar of failure that has stopped my heart from ever beating again. I hope it never recovers from this. If it does, I’m sure I should just let go. Again. Before I break again. Forever.

[maximusthewolfe]

peaches and plums | 5/?

Also on AO3

Eliot struggles on their second mosaic anniversary

Eliot had believed, wholeheartedly, that they would be back home by now. When he toasted Quentin a year ago, calling it their "first and last" year here, he meant it. But here they were, on the morning of their 2nd mosaic anniversary, and he felt like a liar. He couldn't have known, of course, but that didn't make the nagging frustration tensing his shoulders and coiling in his stomach any less real.

He'd been awake for at least 20 minutes, staring at the thatched ceiling of the hut, trying to will himself out of bed. Most days, the monotony that awaited them felt tolerable. Some days, it even felt like it had a big, consuming purpose. But today, under the pressing realization that he and Quentin had officially dedicated 2 entire years of their lives to this thing, with nothing to show for it, starting the routine felt impossible. 

The bed felt lumpy and uncomfortable, the blankets scratchy against his skin. Tiny things he rarely noticed anymore were obnoxious and obvious. The way the sunlight filtered in through the window across the hut, soft and grey as it rose above the forest surrounding them felt uncomfortably bright against his eyes. The sounds of the birds chirping, beckoning them awake, grated against his ears. The scent of the peat and moss that he'd begun to associate with comfort was suffocating. Everything about the new day dawning screeched "failure" at him, shrill and taunting.

The only thing that kept him from groaning, rolling over, and telling the world, the mosaic, and, frankly, the quest at large to fuck right off so he could properly wallow in just how spectacularly he'd messed this up was a firm, steady arm wrapped around his waist. Quentin shifted beside him and Eliot sighed contentedly, the breath unraveling the tiniest bit of the knot sitting uncomfortably in his chest. Ok, so maybe he didn't have nothing to show for the last two years.

Their second year at the mosaic had been a mixed bag for the pair of them. Eliot had never been one for defining things. Giving something a clear definition left an awful lot of room for it to disappoint you, or hurt you, and he'd seen enough of both to avoid them whenever possible. Things with Quentin here were no exception. What was the point, he'd asked himself time and time again. It was a ridiculous idea, to get caught up in something here when they were headed back to their real lives any day now. Their real lives, where Alice Quinn was within reach and Quentin Coldwater would never choose Eliot over her.

"Rise and shine, our eternal defeatist task beckons," Eliot said as Quentin re-entered the waking world with a sleepy grumble that twisted something in Eliot's chest.

Eliot tightened the arm settled around Quentin's shoulders, soaked in the warmth of Quentin's body curled against his own for just a little longer. In moments like these, even with the weight of having failed to keep his promise to Q that they would be home by now, Eliot was overwhelmed with what he’d gained in the past year, despite actively trying to ward it off. It was terrifying, to have his heart skip a beat in his chest when Quentin looked up at him with sleepy eyes, a small smile tugging up the corners of the other man’s lips. It made his breath catch in his throat, the unguarded way Q’s eyes softened at the sight of him, the way Eliot could feel his own gaze softening in response. Somehow, he summoned the strength to throw back the blanket and disentangle himself to start the day.

The small ball of warmth he'd created from those last moments in bed didn't hold out for long. After three failed attempts, the weight of their second year settled back on Eliot's shoulders. Every unsuccessful mosaic configuration reminded him that there was only one right answer to this thing, and, as Quentin had so eloquently put it upon their arrival, a shit load of wrong ones. Probability was not on their side, magic was not on their side. Sheer determination and patience were the only things they had to rely on and today, for a hundred reasons, it felt like they were both in cripplingly short supply.

"I'm out, I can't do another one right now," Eliot groaned, exasperated, and stalked away from the completed attempt, balling his fists at his side to release some of the building tension in his body.

"Fine, I'll take a crack at it just let me write yours down first," Quentin said, with an edge Eliot didn't remember hearing from him when they'd first woken up.

He watched as Quentin sketched the tiles and removed them, returning them to the original piles on the outskirts of the now-blank square. Two years. He'd watched Quentin do this, and little else, for two entire years now. Their second year, for better or worse, had been complicated by their first anniversary. Eliot tried to keep it casual. He allowed them both a pass. They rarely saw other people, unless they ventured into the village, which always felt like such a waste of time when the mosaic remained unsolved. They had needs, they trusted each other. It made sense to Eliot that things would fall into a pattern like this. Refusing definition made it easier for him to ignore what the pattern meant, to let his thoughts flit by without needing to reflect on them. He didn't need to wonder why he liked the feel of Quentin's body against his own first thing in the morning. He didn't need to dwell on the fact that, of all the sweet things he tasted on Quentin's lips when they kissed, the sweetest of them was "home." He didn't have to worry about the Alice of it all or what would - or wouldn't - happen when they returned, key in hand.

Somewhere along the line, Eliot felt more than he bargained for. He felt the shift a year ago when they kissed, but it grew, and continued growing until Eliot couldn't ignore it anymore. Now, as he watched Quentin stacking the piles with a furrow in his brow that wasn't usually there, he was at a loss. Falling in love with Quentin Coldwater was never the plan, not like this.

The morning faded into afternoon without much change except increased frustration, a palpable entity that seemed to be feeding off one another's growing restlessness with the day, with the realization that when the suns set this time, they would no longer be on their first and last year at this thing. They would be stepping into year three, with no end in sight. What frightened Eliot most about that concept wasn't the way the failure tugged at him, a reminder that he wasn't as good as he wanted everyone to believe he was. It was that the idea of another year, another five or ten or fifty of doing this didn't seem so bad, if Quentin was the one he was doing it with.

"This is such bullshit," Quentin growled as he placed the last tile in another failed attempt, the anger in his voice shaking Eliot from his reverie. Quentin stood, stomping on the last tile like it might make a difference, and threw his hands up, bending over to take the tile out of its place. He chucked it, it collided with a tree and fell with a ceramic tink at the roots of the tree.

"Whoa there cowboy," Eliot said, picking the tile up, "At least let me write it down before you hulk out on the tiles."

"This is hopeless," Quentin said miserably in response, stepping aside as Eliot grabbed a sheet of paper and the basket of chalk, beginning the work of sketching this iteration.

"Hopeless might be a little strong," Eliot reasoned, though he'd felt that same empty, drained sensation earlier in the day. He was a man torn, a curse he couldn't seem to escape in any reality. Torn between wanting to get back to their lives in the real world, wanting to find the rest of the keys and restore magic, and wanting to stay here, with Quentin, in a world where Quentin had chosen him, more than once. He'd spent the last year fighting the fact that he wanted, needed to be chosen like that, but as his patience for the mosaic waned, so did his ability to ward off the truth of that need.

"No, I don't think it is," Quentin sighed, running a hand through the hair that had fallen from his bun in his display of frustration. "Two years, Eliot. We've been doing this for TWO YEARS. I don't want to do it anymore. Maybe we're not the ones who Jane gets the key from. Maybe this is just some ridiculous joke, maybe the quest just sent us on some stupid detour."

Eliot knitted his brows together as he started disassembling Quentin's work, building the piles by color almost without thinking. It was muscle memory by now, the act of starting over. The mosaic was a source of frustration for them both, but Eliot had never heard Quentin doubt the quest, even on the days when they were so mad they barely spoke a word to one another.

"Come on, Q," Eliot said, trying to diffuse the despair before it hardened into anger. The piles of tiles got larger beneath him without him even fully realizing he was still disassembling it. "We're getting closer, we have to be." He didn't know how much he believed his own words, but Quentin needed to be diffused and he was doing his best, despite not being the champion pep talker between the two of them.

"Are we?" Quentin asked, stomping around now. "It doesn't feel like we are. It feels like we wasted another whole year of our lives!"

He knew it shouldn't have, but the words stung somewhere deep and, Eliot previously thought, impenetrable within him. Without another word, he finished stacking the tiles and grabbed the sheet of paper he'd sketched Quentin's attempt on, picking up the stack of papers documenting the rest of the day's failed attempts from where they were abandoned on a nearby chair.

"Tell me I'm wrong!" Quentin pressed, and Eliot, who had been trying his hardest not to let the flicker of anger rise in his chest until he couldn't put it out, felt the heat of it rush forward now.

"Fine, you're wrong!" Eliot said, tightening his grip on the stack of papers as he moved across the mosaic to place them with the rest of the drawings from the week. "We could be done tomorrow for all you know! We can't just throw away all this time we've invested," he gestured, to the mosaic, to the sketches, the force behind his voice building.

Why couldn't Quentin just look outside of the quest, and the mosaic, for two fucking seconds, to see that there was something bigger happening here? Because he doesn't want it. The thought cut through his consciousness like a trained response, and the fear of it gripped at him. It made no logical sense. It didn't stack up against the man who spent almost every night sleeping with his head on Eliot's chest, or the fits of passion they'd shared over the past year. It didn't match the innocent way Quentin told him a year ago, "I want last night to happen again." It didn't match the ease with which he and Quentin had built this life of theirs over the past couple of years. It didn't match, but it didn't have to, to scare Eliot into lashing out.

"If you want to live your life, live it here," he spat, tossing the sketches on the table, eyes darting to everything on the table, unable to turn around and face Quentin for fear that what he didn't say would be so easy to see in his eyes: With me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Quentin asked, his tone sharp enough to cut. It only spurred Eliot on. God, sometimes Q was just so dense.

"You know exactly what that means," he said, shuffling things around on the table with no real purpose other than keeping his back to the man who both held the fuse to his anger and knew, whether or not consciously, exactly how to douse it.

The sound of a stack of tiles tumbling behind him broke his avoidance, and he turned, a steely-eyed Quentin looking back at him. "Whoops," Q said with a dismissive shrug.

"What the fuck, Q?"

"What are you gonna do about it?" Quentin mocked, crossing his arms over his chest in a challenge.

Eliot rolled his eyes, shaking his head and stepping to the toppled stack, realigning the tiles until they were a proper tower again. "Nothing, you're acting like a child."

"Oh my god," Quentin said, throwing his hands up, "God forbid I have human emotions!"

Eliot stiffened, slowly letting his eyes rise to meet Quentin's, his jaw set. "Excuse me?"

"You're just- you're acting like some mosaic-solving robot who only cares about this one fucking thing and I mean - do you even know it's the anniversary of us being here?"

"What exactly do you want me to say here?" Eliot asked, bracing his hands on his knees and pushing himself up.

"I don't know, something, anything that isn't about the stupid mosaic," Quentin said, moving to kick another stack of tiles over, freezing before the connection at the warning in Eliot's eyes.

"This stupid mosaic is our only ticket back home, are you trying to tell me you don't want to get back there?"

Quentin's eyes fell to the stack of tiles he nearly kicked. "N-no, I'm not saying that, I just -"

"Just what, Q? We're supposed to be figuring out how to represent the beauty of all life here, it's not going to be a fucking cakewalk."

"Right, so. Just so I'm clear here. You want me to live my life here, but you want to be a mosaic-solving robot so we can get back home faster?"

"Jesus," Eliot sighed, "No, okay? That's not what I meant."

"Well what did you mean then, exactly? Because I'm pretty fucking confused here, El."

There was something in Quentin's voice, something different in his gaze. Something real, and raw. Something that made Eliot want to run. He resisted the urge, for once. "Q...." he said, scrambling for a way out of this, the anger in him deflating in the face of this thing so real it could only scare him shitless.

"No, don't do that. You don't get to do that!"

Eliot's heart lurched in his chest, his feelings for Quentin warring with his instincts for self-preservation. It was a bloody battle, the casualties mounting with every second he couldn't decide which should win. He knew that he had been well on his way to Quentin before they ever arrived at the mosaic. Ever since their misguided night with Margo, Eliot hadn't been able to rid himself of the feeling, quiet but insistent, that he wanted more with Quentin. There had always been something bigger, darker, more important on the line to distract him from that seed growing. The Beast, Fillory, the loss of magic, the quest. But now, he was stalled. They were stalled in something simpler. Distractions were gone and that seed had grown into a sprawling vine, taking over everything. Facing it seemed inevitable and impossible.

"What do I get to do, then?" Eliot asked. He couldn't trust himself to come up with something on his own.

"Be honest, for once," Quentin said.

Everything inside of Eliot tried to resist it, tried to scramble for a lie that might keep them safe. Because if they did figure it out tomorrow, if they finally placed the right tiles in the right places and the key appeared, they would go home. The quest would continue. Quentin would choose Alice, and Eliot would be left with the sharp, unsolvable pain that only came with true rejection. But there was another possibility, one that wouldn't let him draw a line he couldn't come back from. It was that possibility, however slim, that brought Eliot closer to Quentin in quick, short strides, the space between them diminishing to a few small, charged inches.

"You don't really want that," Eliot said, his voice quieter, lower now. It was a final out for Quentin, one last chance to deliver the blow Eliot expected to come.

Quentin looked up at him, startled. Eliot watched his adam's apple bob in his throat. "Yes, I do."

Eliot's eyes fell from Quentin's eyes down to his lips. He stepped forward, dipping down as Quentin leaned up. They met in the middle, lips crashing together in something familiar, warm, comforting. Eliot's hands cupped Quentin's face as he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss. When he pulled away slowly, reluctantly, he looked down at Quentin, whose eyes were already roving Eliot's face, searching for more. "I'm not good at this, okay? I don't do feelings well, and all of this," he motioned at their hut, at the mosaic, "I don't know what it means or when it's going to end, and that, I don't really know what to do with that. But, I can't change the fact that I love you, Q. I've tried not to, believe me, it'd be a hell of a lot easier if I could just...turn it off, but I can't, and I -"

"I love you, too, El," Quentin interrupted, softly, leaning back up to close the distance between them again.

"Happy anniversary," Eliot murmured against Quentin's lips. Quentin wrapped his arms around Eliot's waist, pulling their bodies flush against one another. Eliot let his hands tangle into Quentin's hair, let emotion pour out of him in a way he rarely did, giving it all to Quentin, replaying his words on a loop in his head. I love you too, El. Maybe it was temporary. Maybe it would disappear the minute they got back, but Eliot thought for once, for at least tonight, he could let himself believe it would last.

[rollingpoffin]

Find & vote Heroes

I've seen a LOT of confusion regarding the 2nd anniversary event, especially when it comes to choosing units. So I thought that a little analysis of "top" heroes could help casual players that don't exactly know about every skill in the game.

(Legendaries and seasonals will be mostly considered over normal heroes because of their limited availability)

RED UNITS

As always red results as the stacked color, with tons of good units to consider

L!Marth

PRO: Exalted Falchion and his B skill (Binding shield) makes him one of the best dragon slayers around, besides his general stats are really solid. The combination between Falchion and his special, if used correctly, can make for a really buffed team (in this regard L!Azura is a wonderfull ally).

CON: His fodder potential is not the best having only Atk/Spd bond and Infantry flash. Can be treaky to use properly, especially for newcomers.

L!Hríd

PRO: A cavalry tank that hits like a truck. With an astounding 37ATK (not counting the possible superboon) and 39DEF Hrid sure knows how to deal with physical units. His only real problem resides in the nonexistent speed, but the combination of his B (Freezing seal) and weapon should make up for it, preventing the enemy from double and granting Hrid a follow-up instead. If considered for fodding Distant Counter is sure a nice thing to have.

CON: Like Marth before him, requires specific conditions (debuffed enemies in this case) to work properly.

H!Myrrh

PRO: In a meta of dragons and armors Myrrh is one of the best. Stellar ATK/DEF and good RES/HP makes her a versatile unit, being useful in both player and enemy phase. Thanks to his weapon and natural B (Vengeful fighter) she is almost guaranteed to make a follow-up on both phases on top of a reduced cool down.

CON: As good as Myrrh present herself, fodder is limited to armored units so if you're not a fan there is little use here.

Tibarn

PRO: As our first 3 movement flier along the other beasts, he is considered a reliable powerhouse on player phase thanks to the unique Sturdy impact and high ATK. Being a flier unit and beast, he can benefit from the buffs of both classes. Regarding fodder Even atk wave is a versatile skill only shared with H!Kagero.

CON: His horrible RES makes him an easy target for any mages (especially the ever common Reinhard). As a normal unit Tibarn is present in every banner, even if not featured as focus.

L!Eirika

Another sword cavalry. Eirika is by no means a bad unit, but her weapon requirement can be difficult to archieve sometimes, making her more of a fodder heaven between Atk/Spd solo and Odd wafe def.

Honorable mention

Winter Tharja

GREEN UNITS

L!Hector (or any Hector, really)

Hector is one of those units that are good, no matter the version. High stats, armored status and optimal fodder (Distant counter, Vengeful Fighter) makes him someone that everyone should be happy to pull.

Surtr

PRO: By now Surtr is considered one of the strongest units in the game thanks to the combination of his stellar bulkiness, Steady Stance and Sinmara. Having an almost unkillable tank that deals 20HP of passive dmg at the start of every turn (the only requirement is having foes within 2 spaces) sounds like fun, if you're the one using him.

CON: his fodder potential is basically null, with even Steady stance 4 requiring at least Steady stance 1 unlocked due to inheritance limitations. (See Tibarn for availability)

Honorable mention

Lewin

BLUE UNITS

L!Azura

PRO: Azura is by a large margin the best dancer in the game. Her high mobility paired up with the special effect of Prayer Wheel, her signature empowered version of sing (+1 mov to infantry and fliyng units) and a prior buff can bring the refreshed unit to a whopping +6/7 in ATK/SPD/DEF/RES. B Duel flying can make her relevant even in aether raids and arena.

CON: The only real problem with Azura is that if you already have her, then pulling another is pratically useless. Dancers are known to be out of the Boon/Bane loop considering that you'll use them to refresh 80% of the time. Her fodding isn't good as well.

L!Tiki

PRO: Her role is very similar to Myrrh, differences being her blue color and unique C (With everyone!) that grants DEF/RES +5 to unit and adjacent units. Tiki comes with a complete skill package and can be used effectively without any investment, having innate DC and possibility to proc her special every turn thanks to Fierce breath and Bold fighter.

CON: Same with Myrrh, but this time Fierce breath can be inherited even by Infantry units.

Nailah

All around a very solid unit, the real strenght of Nailah resides is her kit. Distant counter and Glare are wonderful skills, plus her B (Null-C Disrupt) represent an answer to dazzling staff users (Veronica and Genny just to make an example), negating the prevention of counterattacks.

Honorable mention

Ophelia

COLORLESS UNITS

L!Robin

PRO: Robin comes as 1 of the only 2 colorless dragon this game has to offer. Her A skill (Dragonskin) counts as a superior version of the Iote shield, not only negating effective dmg from archers but also granting DEF/RES +4 during enemy phase. She is one of the best enemy phase centered fliers and, even if a bit situational, Res smoke is still a great skill to have.

CON: Due to the changes in the meta Robin has fallen a little in utility compared to some months ago.

Duma

PRO: Our other colorless dragon. Right now, Duma might be the best unit to have in Aether Raids. Upheaval deals 7dmg to all foes at the start of turn 1 and, if he's deployed in a defence team during Anima seasons, destroys offensive structues within the same column as him. This synergies well with his weapon, giving Duma a whole ATK/RES+6 and no follow up for the enemy. His stats are not something to laugh at with the 3rd ATK(40) in all game and a good mixed bulkiness. Def/Res solo and Bold fighter are optimal fodder.

CON: Duma is really good, but if someone is not fond of Aether Raids they might find his unique skill and Mythical effect rather useless.

H!Mia

Witchy wand is a unique weapon, having the power to reset enemies special cooldowns. Adding to the already high mobility of Mia as an healer, she can run the Dazzling/Wrathful combo.

Honorable mentions

Brave Veronica (I would have put her between the other units, but she's already a free pull)

Winter Eirika

H!Jakob

Loki

Hope this list will help at least 1 confused person to choose units not because everyone is saying soo, but because he's interested in them.

(Ps: english is not my native language, if there are any grammatical horrors just tell me so that I can improve!)

[theonyxpath]

Over a month ago, I was talking about Onyx Path‘s sales venues and things like that. Just kind of getting folks caught up on where they could find our stuff and which projects you could find there.

A different, but similar, thing that I wanted to touch on today is some of the other sorts of projects we have to offer beyond book-shaped things. Specifically, because Mighty Matt McElroy sent me some pics of the proofs for a couple of card projects, I’m going to touch on those today.

(Never mind that I haven’t received my card proof samples yet…sob.)

The Realm illustration by Yiyhoung Li

There are two types of card-based projects that we have been creating. The first, are card games. We don’t do a lot of them, as we need to see a clear connection to whatever TTRPG they are derived from or it’s tough to put effort towards them when there are books to be created.

Right now, we have Justin Achilli’s Prince’s Gambit for Vampire: The Masquerade, which we saw as a fun political machinations game that is waaay shorter than a VTES match. Something to play while waiting for your RPG or LARP session to start up.

And Fetch Quest for Realms of Pugmire, which has shipped to Kickstarter backers, should be available to order and in stores in May, and which we are waiting for the PoD proofs for. This is a cooperative card game set in the wilds around Pugmire that complements the TTRPG.

In fact, we’re looking to have the option for folks to make their own cards via DriveThruCards, so folks can play their TTRPG characters.

You might have noticed that the part of DriveThru that deals with these sorts of things is DriveThru Cards, which is a different Print on Demand company than the one who does our books. Everything still all goes through DTRPG, or OBS as it’s corporately known, but the card guys have their own little differences in how they proof, etc.

We’ve been really happy with the quality of their cards, and that’s one of the reasons we have made both the games, and the second type of card projects we put together: roleplaying aids. These can be the extensive selection of Charm Cards for Exalted 3rd, or Condition Cards for our CofD games, or Trick Cards for Pugmire, and more.

Pugmire also has Spell Cards, and right now we are proofing Spell Cards for the Scarred Lands that can be used for a SL campaign, or worked into any 5e fantasy roleplaying session.

If you’re saying, “Hey, what is this here Scarred Lands you keep going on about, Mr. Rich?“, then you should give a listen to last Friday’s Onyx Pathcast where our terrific trio take a Deep Dive into the Scarred Lands setting, and highlight the things that they think really work. Link below in the Blurbs!.

They do a fantastic job of conveying what they love and are intrigued by in Scarred Lands, which is actually really interesting to me, as a guy who helped create it way back in the crazy d20 Rush days. None of our Trio were around then, so to hear them go over the parts that compel them about our new edition and the first one, is kind of like hearing a whole new generation finding it.

Makes me feel both old and proud, by crackee!

C20 Players Guide illustration by Brian LeBlanc

Finally, to wrap up the Scion Errata situation I touched on the last couple of weeks, Neall, in his non-real-world-job time, was able to assemble and create a list of the corrections that he had made but which hadn’t stuck. We turned that into a downloadable PDF (in both full-color and easy to print versions) for any and all to get ahold of, and input the corrections and the backer credits into the PDF and the upcoming PoD files.

When all was said and done, there is a page of Scion: Origin errata, a page of Scion: Hero errata, a page for a FAQ Neall put together, and ten updated pre-generated character sheets. For perspective, Neall’s original list derived from backer input from all over the internet was well over 300 entries (many of them duplicates) across the two books so the vast majority of the fixes worked – except for a page per book’s worth.

While we wanted all of the errata we painstakingly gathered and collated to have stuck as we intended, and we’ve changed a couple of processes to try and make sure that when a change is made it by-gum sticks, we’re just glad that none of them were so bad that they wrecked the books and made them impossible to read and play.

As Neall noted in a message to the backers, we’re disappointed that the projects aren’t as polished as we intended, and we apologize to all involved for disappointing you too.

We will do better, as we continue to create:

Many Worlds, One Path!

BLURBS!

KICKSTARTER:

Our next Kickstarter starting in several weeks will be for Pirates of Pugmire!

ONYX PATH MEDIA

Illustration by Charles Bates

This Friday’s Onyx Pathcast is our 50th! So please join Dixie, Matthew, and Eddy, as they look at Fun! What is “fun” in gaming? Should games even be defined by the fun they provide? Come hear them answer these and other pressing questions of our time on: https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/

And Here’s More Media About Our Worlds:

Here’s last week’s Onyx Path News, in which Matthew talks a little about the conclusion of the Contagion Chronicle Kickstarter and the movements on our schedule: https://youtu.be/UGERLK6nFQc

No Contagion Chronicle actual play this week, as our audio failed! We do however have a wonderful Scarred Lands actual play, run by Matthew for the Red Moon Roleplaying folks. Here’s the link to episode one: https://youtu.be/1xmU0HvT1Bw

If YOU have a podcast, YouTube or Twitch channel, or talk about games on a blog or other website, and want to perform actual plays or make reviews of our games, please reach out to the Gentleman Gamer on the Onyx Path forum. From there we’ll share emails and get you started, so when you do start producing content we’ll be able to promote it on our blog and YouTube channel!

Here’s the Story Told Podcast‘s superb Dragon-Blooded actual play, for all of you who are audio-inclined: http://thestorytold.libsyn.com/fall-of-jiara-episode-4

As well as Occultists Anonymous, which ventures into ghost territory with their Mage: The Awakening chronicle: https://youtu.be/_rMd7rda2a0

We’re never not going to promote the superb folks at Devil’s Luck Gaming, with their excellent Scarred Lands actual play: https://www.twitch.tv/DEVILSLUCKGAMING

The Dramatic Failure Podcast ventures into Mage territory over here with a big, big story arc filled with inspirational ideas: https://dramaticfailure.podbean.com/

Please check any of these out and let us know if you find or produce any actual plays of our games!

ELECTRONIC GAMING:

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is now live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is both rolling and rocking!

Here’s an update from the App devs:

Onyx Dice!  We’ve recently released the Changeling: The Lost, Trinity Continuum: Aeon dice, and now the Geist dice.  Next up on our radar is: Demon: The Fallen,  Mummy: The Resurrection,  Kindred of the East, Vampire Dark Ages, and Mummy: The Curse.

We have a serious issue on the Pixel and Motorola phones that prevent the user from using the app correctly.  A fix is coming shortly.  A temporary workaround is to minimize the app without shutting it down, and then restore it.

ON AMAZON AND BARNES & NOBLE:

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue you bought it from. Reviews really, really help us with getting folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these fiction books:

OUR SALES PARTNERS:

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the Screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there! https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

We’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

Now, we’ve added Changeling: The Lost 2nd Edition products to Studio2‘s store! See them here: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/all-products/changeling-the-lost

Scarred Lands (Pathfinder) books are also on sale at Studio 2: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/scarred-lands

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

And you can now order Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, Cavaliers of Mars, and Changeling: The Lost 2e! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/manufacturers.php?manufacturerid=296

DRIVETHRURPG.COM:

On Sale This Week!

This Wednesday, we’ll be offering the Advance PDF of the Changeling: The Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition Players’ Guide!

CONVENTIONS

UK Games Expo: May 31st – June 2nd From the US comes Eddy Webb, Matt McElroy, and Rich Thomas to join with Matthew Dawkins, Steffie de Vann, John Burke, Chris Allen, and Klara Herbol! Gen Con: August 1st – August 4th Save Against Fear: Oct 12-14 GameHoleCon: October 31st – November 3rd We’ll also be back at PAX Unplugged later this year.

And now, the new project status updates!

DEVELOPMENT STATUS FROM FAST EDDY WEBB (projects in bold have changed status since last week):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

Geist2e Fiction Anthology (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Exalted Essay Collection (Exalted)

Kith and Kin (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

Scion: Demigod (Scion 2nd Edition)

Trinity Continuum Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum Core)

TC: Aeon Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Tales of Aquatic Terror (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Masks of the Mythos (Scion 2nd Edition)

Scion: Dragon (Scion 2nd Edition)

Wraith20 Fiction Anthology (Wraith: The Oblivion 20th Anniversary Edition)

DR:E Jumpstart (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)

One Foot in the Grave Jumpstart (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2e)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #2 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Exigents (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Redlines

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

Legendlore core book (Legendlore)

Heroic Land Dwellers (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Monsters of the Deep (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

DR:E Threat Guide (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)

Second Draft

Tales of Good Dogs – Pugmire Fiction Anthology (Pugmire)

Let The Streets Run Red (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #1 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Chicago Folio/Dossier (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Cults of the Blood Gods (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Blood Sea: Crimson Abyss for 5e (Scarred Lands)

TC: Aeon Ready Made Characters (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Development

Hunter: the Vigil 2e core (Hunter: the Vigil 2nd Edition)

WoD Ghost Hunters (World of Darkness)

Oak, Ash, and Thorn: Changeling: The Lost 2nd Companion (Changeling: The Lost 2nd)

Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Memento Mori: the GtSE 2e Companion (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

M20 The Technocracy Reloaded (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Creatures of the World Bestiary (Scion 2nd Edition)

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Scion Companion: Mysteries of the World (Scion 2nd Edition)

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

Manuscript Approval:

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Scion Ready Made Characters (Scion 2nd Edition)

Pirates of Pugmire (Realms of Pugmire)

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Editing:

Spilled Blood (Vampire: The Requiem 2nd Edition)

CofD Dark Eras 2 (Chronicles of Darkness)

Distant Worlds (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Post-Editing Development:

M20 Book of the Fallen (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

V5 Chicago By Night (Vampire: The Masquerade)

V5 Chicago By Night Screen (Vampire: The Masquerade)

CofD Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

Witch-Queen of the Shadowed Citadel (Cavaliers of Mars)

Indexing:

Trinity Core

Trinity Aeon

ART DIRECTION FROM MIRTHFUL MIKE:

In Art Direction

Ex3 Monthly Stuff  

Chicago By Night

They Came From Beneath the Sea!

EX3 Lunars

Hunter: The Vigil 2

Contagion Chronicle

VtR Spilled Blood – Hiring artists.

M20 Book of the Fallen

Dark Eras 2 – Getting the rest contracted out.

CoM – Witch Queen of the Shadowed Citadel

Pirates of Pugmire – KS art contracted, sketches and finals coming in.

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant – KS art started contracting.

Marketing Stuff

In Layout

Dystopia Rising: Evolution – With Josh.

Shunned By the Moon

Scion Jumpstart

C20 Novel: Cup of Dreams

Proofing

The Realm

Book of Oblivion – Inputting last corrections.

Signs of Sorcery – Dev comments back to layout.

Trinity Core and Aeon Screens – Prepping for printing.

Aeon Aexpansion

At Press

Scion Hero – Shipping to backers, PoD version processing.

Scion Origin – Shipping to backers, PoD version processing.

Scion Dice – Shipping to backers.

Scion Screen – Shipping to backers.

Fetch Quest – Waiting for PoD proofs.

In Media Res – PDF out to backers, gathering errata with new sheet.

Geist 2e – PDF out to backers, gathering errata with new sheet.

Scarred Lands Spell Cards – Waiting forPoD proofs.

Adventures for Curious Cats – Errata.

Tales of Excellent Cats – Errata.

Dragon-Blooded – Deluxe at printer.

Dragon-Blooded Screen – At printer.

C20 Player’s Guide – Advance PDF on sale this Wednesday!

TODAY’S REASON TO CELEBRATE: 

On this day in 1429 – Joan of Arc arrives to relieve the Siege of Orléans. (And then she got screwed over. I’ll leave the message you may derive from that to you.)

[the-colony-roleplay]

COLONY 22′S 2ND ANNUAL APPRECIATION AWARDS 

Oh, how much could change in a year. 

Alex Donovan remembered last year, as disinclined as he’d been to agree to be one of the three hosts for the night, how he’d watched the frantic decorating committee’ and thought: well at least I’m not one of those unfortunate fools.

And this year, well—he was very nearly one of those unfortunate fools. He wouldn’t go so far as to say he was one of a ‘committee’, but he’d been helping bring out boxes to the decorating team all ever-loving day,  and several hours ago they’d begun asking his opinion on things and he’d declined to answer at first. But somehow, come 4pm, he’d found himself up to his neck in garlands and twinkle lights and about to be late for his afternoon training session. 

When he walked into the auditorium after dinner (sporting black trousers, a white T-shirt and a deep blue blazer) he had to admit he was impressed. And maybe just a little proud. Because looking around, the room had truly been transformed. A lot of hard work and love had gone into it, clearly, and if nothing else, it would surely make Mitch beam. And Heaven bless that ever-optimistic, selfless man—he deserved at least that this season. It made any suffering on Alex’s part worth it, knowing the event was that much more likely to be the success that the original Calyset Head of House dreamed it would be. 

What set this year apart from the last—aside from the Reformist-shaped elephant in the room—is that they’d gone full out traditional Christmas this year. Not wintery blues and silvers (a good thing, too, because it may have just been a throw back to the Modius’ Brink Tower reopening—not a failure by any means, but just a sore spot on the roof of the mouths of too many here), but instead, warm and boasting golds and reds and forest greens. Rich colours hung from the walls and pillars in thick tapestries and glowing lights. Ribbons and wreaths and candles sprinkled the room with a bursting festiveness, and not one, but three Christmas trees brightened up the room—even the damaged areas, rubble and broken seats simply became the contrasting foundation of effervescent decorations. 

There was even mistletoe. In one or two surreptitious places, waiting patiently for unsuspecting victims.

Okay... so it did look a little like Christmas had thrown up all over the old theatre. But hell—if that was its worst flaw, they had nothing to complain about in their post-apocalyptic today. 

People filtered in slowly, chatting and laughing and mingling about, making comments about their outfits, the decor... and Alex supposed that even those who thought the night a waste of time, at the very least, it couldn’t be said that it hadn’t already brought a certain atmosphere of light-hearted relief over the modest, island Colony. Even if just for a night. 

At about a quarter after seven, the house lights faded in and out three times, a voice coming over the loud speaker to ask that people take their seats, as the ceremonies were about to start. Taking that as his queue (and Christ, he still couldn’t believe Mitch had asked him to do the opening speech this year—though somehow the fact that Alex had been convinced was less of a surprise, considering his track record with being unable to tell that man no, for just about anything) Alex politely excused himself from his conversation with Cambie, and threw Caelan a grin and a wink when he spotted him striding by with Isha and Clay. Left a smile and a light touch on Clayton’s elbow as they crossed each other’s paths. 

And then he was trotting up stage steps, with people still settling into their seats. The lights dimmed, a spotlight panned over to him, and applause grew from the crowd. Chuckling, eyes cast down as he shook his head, he found his place at the podium:

“Good evening, Colony 22. I’d like to start off by saying thank you, to everyone who worked so hard to make this night happen—and that includes all of you who have participated just by being in attendance tonight. Truly, we appreciate it. Because it’s not just about the decorations or the preparation, the drinks or the snacks—though I’m sure the food and drink is the main reason most of you even bothered to show up,” he paused, grinning. “But it’s impossible to nurture a sense of community without all of you—the community. So thank you.” Another pause, and he pointed a wagging finger at Mitch in the second row. “And if nothing else, you can all go home knowing that you’ve put a shit-eating grin on that man’s face—which is apparently how I got suckered into opening tonight’s ceremonies. So while we’re at it, if any of you figure out how to say no to Mr. Douglas, please be sure to come by my office later and loop me in. Preferably before he asks me about doing this again next year.” 

A warm, light chuckle from the audience, and with a smile, Alex continued. “Now, as you’re all aware, I’m not Mitch. I have no poetic to weave you about the trials and tribulations we face on a daily basis and how they bring us together in strength and unity. But that isn’t to say what he has said, and what this night now represents is not of value. In fact, I very much believe it to be true. In times such as these, in the face of change and conflict and rebellion, now more than ever it’s important to remember how we got this far. How we have survived, and how we continue to survive. Because we have not done it through selfishness, or greed. We have not accomplished as much as we have by functioning only as every person for themselves. We have gotten this far through cooperation and support. Through contribution and sacrifice, comfort and strength. 

“I have been here next to three years now, and I have watched so many of you grow, and I am so proud of each and every one of you. What I think is too easy to forget in all of this, is that after what we’ve all faced, every day done is an accomplishment. Every day, we could choose to give up, to turn back, or throw in the towel. Rebuilding is hard. Starting over in the face of loss can feel impossible. So remember to take the time to recognize that.” He paused, threw a grin at the audience. “Well, look at that, I guess I did have some poetic to weave. Kindly blame Douglas for that too, would you?” 

As the audience laughed again, Alex straightened, his tone lightening. “Alright, I’m not going to tell you too much about the awards themselves—I’ll leave that to our lovely hosts, whom I’m very excited to call to the stage and not just because then I can get the hell out of here. But before I do that, I’ll remind you that after the ceremonies there is a reception down at Catch 22, where they’ll be serving food and drinks, and I believe I heard a rumour or two about dancing and karaoke. For which I plan on making myself very scarce. But nevertheless, have an excellent time tonight, happy holidays, and congratulations on wrapping up another fantastic year. 

“And now without further adieu—may I present your hosts for this evening: Orson Hurst, Elsa Copland and Mouse Quinley.” 

A/N: AND SO IT BEGINS!!!

Well folks... Welcome to the last event of 2018! It has not just been a good year at Colony 22, but a spectacular one. I feel like we too, (much like our characters in verse,) have special cause for celebration—not only do we have our fifth year anniversary coming up, but this year has gifted us so many excellent, long-term members joining the family and exciting new plots, characters and development. 

This event will punctuate the year with a bit of light hearted fun that we hope will lead nicely into an exciting 2019 at the Colony, which Lottie and I already have big plans for. We thank you all for being here, for your commitment, enthusiasm and love, and we hope you all stay with us here and continue to write and grow with us for a long time to come!

Now, most of the information you need about the Event Rules themselves I have already posted in detail and you can find here. Make sure you are familiar with them before starting, if you are new to events at the Colony. And if you’re not new, well, it never hurts to have a refresher!

A friendly reminder to send any questions you have about the event to the main blog ASK as we’d prefer to answer them publicly so the knowledge can be shared with everyone, as it’s likely that if you have a question, someone else may be wondering the same thing!

Remember too that this post marks the beginning of the first part of the evening: The Ceremonies only. You are welcome to RP anything that is leading up to the ceremonies, or during, but nothing past into the reception, until you see a post on the mod blog indicated the shift to the second part of the night, which won’t be until after (our real time) Christmas!

Over the next few days, you will see nomination and award reveals on the main blog, and as mentioned in the info post already posted (and linked above), you may continue old threads, or start new ones that are event related (self paras or graphics work too! Just remember that if you make any graphics in photoshop or anything send them to the graphics blog to be posted!) 

Keep in mind that activity will still be monitored over Christmas. I still expect you to meet activity, and I still expect you to contact the main if you need an extension before I have to go chasing you down. The holidays are stressful enough—please do not send me on a wild goose chase. That said, I obviously get it: Holidays can be stressful and busy! So just let us know if you need an extension or hiatus! 

I will do everything in my power to make sure all the awards are queued and posted promptly and when they’ve been promised—but if something comes up, things may shift a little here and there—nothing that should have too much of an effect though. The Reception will hopefully be triggered sometime between the 27th and 29th, depending on schedules. 

Alright, I believe thats all I got for now! But happy holidays everyone, and enjoy! The first awards post will likely roll out here in a few hours!

Much love, 

xxPapa!Mod

[yotsutama]

2nd Anniversary Special Story 3

Idolish7 2nd Anniversary Special Story

Chapter 3 - Exposed Answer

Yamato: …… Ah, TRIGGER’s back. How was it? Did you find a telephone?

Gaku: Nah, we didn’t... Look at this.

Mitsuki: What is this… a scratched LastDime CD!? It’s covered in blood too……

Gaku: Not just this. There were hand-shaped bloodstains on the refrigerator……

Tamaki: Gyaaaa---!! No more! I’m going home!!

Sougo: T-Tamaki-kun. Even if you wanted to, the door is locked.

Tamaki: Sou-chan, open it!! Don’t you have your screw driver!?

Sougo: It’s not like I always have it with me… I’ll start carrying it with me everywhere tomorrow on, in case something ever happens, okay?

Tamaki: I wanna go home! This place is scary!

Sougo: Tamaki-kun, everything will be alright!

Yuki: What an unpleasant underground room… One thing is certain though, a tragedy has occurred here.

Momo: Yeah… I feel like something terrible will happen.

Tamaki: Look--! Re:vale said it too!

Sougo: Uh, Re:vale-san… Could you stop scaring him?

Mitsuki: But, something’s definitely wrong here. I wonder what happened?

Nagi: Hm… Bloodstains on the floor… A mysterious locked room……

Nagi: Most likely, this place was a murder scene……

Tamaki: No!!

Nagi: The murderer locked all of us here and they’re wondering how to eliminate us, probably…?

Anesagi Kaoru: No way…! I wanna go home…!

Nagi: OH! Sorry. I made a lady worry. Are you OK? Miss Anesagi… Ouch!

Anesagi Kaoru: Wh, D-Don’t act so friendly and stop looking at me with that beautiful face! … But, I’m okay… I’m sorry… I’m not going to leave……

Yamato: Umm. Like you said, looking at the situation, the atmosphere is bad here. But, if a murder really happened here, where is the corpse?

Tamaki: Don’t say corpse or murder!!

Yamato: My bad… Uhh, I think a mur—… an incident didn’t take place here, but something else?

Mitsuki: By something else, you mean…?

Iori: An accident, maybe. Someone was hurt here, and they forgot to clean the bloodstains……

Yuki: No… A mur—… an incident definitely took place here.

Momo: We’re involved in something dangerous now……

Yamato: Thinking back to it, why does Re:vale make the situation worse!?

Mitsuki: He’s right! You two sound like you’re scaring us on purpose, it’s not like the usual Re:vale……

Yamato, Mitsuki: Gasp…!

Yamato: Don’t tell me… Someone planned a prank on us!?

Mitsuki: Is it a prank!?

Yuki: So, you finally realized. That’s right, Yamato-kun.

Mitsuki: That’s why you two tried to scare us, huh!?

Momo: That’s right, Mitsuki. We are professionals, we must keep the people here terrified to make it interesting……

Yamato, Mitsuki: I see, so that’s it…… 

Iori: What are you doing, Nii-san and Nikaido-san… Why are you glaring at Re:vale in silence…… (1)

Yamato: …… This place is a mur—… scene……

Mitsuki: Yeah, no doubt… We’re involved in something terrifying……

Iori: What’s with you two all of sudden!?

Tamaki: Sou-chan! Yama-san and Mikki said murder scene!!

Sougo: No, it’s fine, it’s fine! This is a comfy underground restaurant, look!

Yamato: A horribly scratched TRIGGER CD……

Mitsuki: This restaurant is most likely prepared by someone who resents TRIGGER……

Phantom: …… Exactly……

Riku: …… Someone just spoke from somewhere…! 

Yaotome Sousuke: Who is it!?

………………

Gaku: …! The sound is coming from the speaker!  (2)

Phantom: My name is Phantom. It’s up to me whether you live or die.

Phantom: You shall be frightened by the terror you will experience from here on out.

Ryuunosuke: …… What do you mean…!?

Re:vale: ……………..        

Yuki: …… That’s so cliché……

Momo: Too cliché… Hard to follow but, there’s no choice.

Momo: W-What…!? Keeping us locked here, Phantom, what exactly are you!?

Yuki: Calm down, Momo!

Momo: I can’t calm down, not now!

Riku: …… It’s okay! Re:vale-san, don’t be scared! I will ask him!

Riku: Phantom! You locked all of us here, what are you trying to do to us!?

Phantom: Fufufu… First, you shall watch this.

Ryuunosuke: A projector just turned on! …… The news…?

Tamaki: Aah!! I watched this! Didn’t we? Manager, Ban-chan!

Ogami Banri: That’s…! The news about the discontinued King Pudding! It was a mistake, and they corrected it immediately, right?

Sougo: What’s the meaning of this……

Phantom: That was my doing.

Tamaki: What!? You, did you have some sort of grudge against King Pudding!?

Phantom: I sneaked into the Master Control room, I can use the mass media however I like now.

Phantom: If you don’t listen to my saying, I will release breaking news, “A Meteor Will Fall on Japan In Seconds.”

Iori: Everyone in Japan will panic if you do that!

Phantom: You cannot escape from here. TRIGGER. You will participate in the following game I made.

Phantom: Let’s make this the worst party of your lives.

Yaotome Sousuke: …… What the hell is that… Anesagi, did you know anything about this!?

Anesagi Kaoru: I-I don’t know anything!

Tenn: …… What game? What do you want from us?

Phantom: You must give an answer to my question that will satisfy me.

Tenn: I got it. What’s the question?

Phantom: What is love?

TRIGGER: Love…?

IDOLiSH7: Love, you mean that love…?

Re:vale: Hey hey, that’s absurd.

Momo: I tried to act serious up till now but, don’t you know it will all be a waste if you make me laugh now?

Yuki: Well, it’s a question fans would like to hear, but… TRIGGER, have they realized that this is a prank?

Tenn: A prank…?

Gaku: Is this a prank…?

Ryuunosuke: If I can’t give an answer about love that will satisfy them, everyone in Japan will panic…!? What should I answer!?

Ryuunosuke: …… I have a question. Can we answer it more than once?

Phantom: Yeah… No problem…

Ryuunosuke: Is it only us who can answer?

Phantom: I don’t mind who answers it……

Ryuunosuke: I see! Okay, then, let’s answer it one by one! We may have the correct answer among us!

Ryuunosuke: Using the number in our names, let’s start from number one! Can we first start with Iori-kun?

Iori: Me!?

Tamaki: Iorin, what will you answer?

Yamato: Onii-san is curious now.

Riku: Me too!

Iori: I don’t care about that kind of thing. I’m not good with this kind of stuff.

Phantom: I’m curious too.

Tamaki: You hear that? Phantom said so too!

Iori: You are so persistent! Couldn’t you give us a proper question that shows our intelligence and pride!?

Phantom: You better not make me angry, or else I’ll set off the bomb I hid in the kitchen.

Iori: Bomb…!?

Yamato: Oi, oi, Phantom. A bomb is too much… This prank just got 70% worse.

Mitsuki: Iori is sharp… I can’t let him realize……

Iori: Can someone obtain a bomb that easily…? Something’s odd……

Mitsuki: Iori! You shouldn’t doubt him!

Iori: N-Nii-san……

Mitsuki: If what he said is true, all of Japan would be in panic, and we’ll all be caught in an explosion here!

Mitsuki: I don’t want you to face that danger! Let’s do what he says for now!

Iori: I-I understand… If Nii-san says so……

Yamato: Yeah. For an adolescent like Ichi, it may be embarrassing to talk about this, but you can say your honest expectations of what love is as a youngster here……

Iori: Nikaido-san! You said that to make it more embarrassing on purpose, didn’t you!?

Iori: *cough*… I understand. This is for Japan’s peace. It can’t be helped… Here’s my answer……

Iori: …… Love…… is……

Iori: Like…… a rabbit… in spring……

*boo boo!*

Phantom: I don’t get it.

Iori: What is that ‘boo boo!’ sound!? That was so rude!

Mitsuki: So, it’s a rabbit in spring~!

Riku: A rabbit in spring, huh~!

Iori: Don’t give me that warm smile!

Riku: What kind of rabbit is the rabbit in spring? Is it different from a rabbit in summer?

Iori: Don’t ask for details!

Riku: But you should explain it! If you explain it, he probably won’t give you ‘boo boo!’ right!?

Iori: I mean, uh…… The way it sounds fluffy and soft is similar to love, right!? (3)

Sougo: The usual intelligent Iori-kun is suddenly being dull… Love is terrifying……

Nagi: Hm… Phantom is following our conversation well. Does he really meant to intimidate us?

Nagi: Don’t tell me, this is a pr--… Mmmh!

Yamato: Y’alright, Nagi!? Air almost went into your mouth, see!?

Mitsuki: That was dangerous, right!

Nagi: WHAT!? I can’t have air go into my mouth!?

Yaotome Sousuke: …… This is not a prank. This restaurant’s owner is known for hating mass media.

Yaotome Sousuke: A restaurant that doesn’t accept TV requests wouldn’t accept a planned prank like this.

Re:vale: Eeeeh!?

Okazaki Rinto: Then, this is a serious incident!? President Yaotome!?

Yaotome Sousuke: Shut up! Okazaki! I haven’t forgotten how rude you were… I won’t accept collaboration requests from you ever again!

Okazaki Rinto: Wha!? Wait, No… Jeez~! President Yaotome~! Don’t say silly things~!

Yaotome Sousuke: Acting dumb now won’t change anything!!

Anesagi Kaoru: Okazaki, this is not your prank, right?

Okazaki Rinto: Of course!

Anesagi Kaoru: Takanashi-san, how about you?

Tsumugi: I-I don’t know anything.

Ogami Banri: We are not involved. President was so excited too, we just wanted to give you a surprise.

Yamato: Then, we really are… involved in an incident that’ll make all of Japan panic…?

All: ………………

Gaku: …… What the hell……

Mitsuki: …… This is not funny……

Tamaki: …… My heart is about to burst……

Nagi: OH… Don’t tell me, we won’t be able to go home before Cocona’s air time??

Nagi: NO--!! NO NOO! PHANTOM! Open the door!!!!

Tenn: Who are you, exactly? Do you have grudge against us or something?

Gaku: Now that you mention it… Who were you talking to that time? You sounded so angry at them.

Yaotome Sousuke: It’s because he asked me a foolish request. Who would ever use him again……

Ryuunosuke: Use him again…? Who is he?

Yaotome Sousuke: …… Hyuuga Akihito.

To be continued……

T/N?

Proofread by Sophia @ousama-pudding. Otsukare sama!!

The title 裸の答え literally means naked answer and it sounds so... wrong LOL so I changed it to Exposed Answer.

(1) Is telepathy really possible? The answer is YES for Re:vale.

(2) Phantom uses a voice changer so they can’t tell who’s talking

(3) Iori usually speaks using difficult kanjis but he uses Japanese sfx like fuwa and howa (SFX for a warm and soft object.) that makes him sounds stupid lol. IORI ALWAYS CALL RIKU OR TSUMUGI CUTE BUT HE IS THE REAL CUTE

I personally wish they would add more lines for tsumugi in this story *looking at bamco and tsutsumi bunta*

ANYWAY FORGET ABOUT COOL AND SHARP I WILL USE RABBIT IN SPRING AS IORI’S SLOGAN FROM NOW ON

Chapter 4 will be posted soon! Thanks for reading!!

[sunshine-overload]

[BSTS] Sinju 2nd Anniversary 4* Card Story

(note: during the 2nd anni, Saki got to choose which five members would perform in each show and then the show itself was chosen by those members out of five versions.)

chapter 1 -backstage-

shinju: You came to watch Saki-chan.

saki: Yes. That was a wonderful show.

shinju: Thanks! Say, I want to talk more after this, ah, could I escort you home today?

saki: Sure, if that’s ok with you.

shinju: Yay! Then I’ll go change right away, there’s lots I want to talk about!

-street-

saki: What did you want to talk about?

shinju: Firstly I wanted to say I’m grateful you chose me, thanks for letting me be on stage. Other than that, I wanted to share something that happened during the anniversary show with you. The other day I got to be up on stage with Kei and Kokuyou. It confirmed to me that the tops really are amazing, everything gets decided so smoothly.

saki: You all discuss and choose the show program among yourselves don’t you?

shinju: Yeah, the program... and the directing too I guess. I wanted to keep up with them so I gave it my best shot but, when it comes to Kei and Kokuyou you can’t do anything but follow them.

saki: As expected of those two huh.

shinju: Yeah. Rindou is amazing too though, because he’s the type of person that creates a show by discussing it with everyone else. He’s a top as well but he has a different air to him. Not that I’m saying it’s better or worse.

saki: Since each team has different characteristics yeah?

shinju: Right. Though as expected I still think P is the best. I was talking to Maica and he said this 2nd anniversary show is like training outside your comfort zone. It’s a special show since it’s a chance to stand on stage with a variety of different cast members. That’s why, if possible I’d like you to keep choosing me, I want to perform more.

Wait huh? We’re already at the train station, man time flies when I’m talking to you~

saki: Oh wow we are, it really does. I enjoyed chatting with you Shinju-san.

shinju: Welp, I’ll see you again at Starless, good night!

-

chapter 2 -break room-

saki: (Hm, it’s Shinju-san. Did something happen?)

saki: Hello Shinju-san, are you in the middle of rehearsal?

shinju: Oh, Saki-chan... truth is—

saki: —What!? You still haven’t decided on the show program?

shinju: That’s how it is...

saki: If I recall the members this time are you, Ran-san, Taiga-san, Gui-san and Zakuro-san... right?

shinju: Yeah. It’s not like we’re not getting along, but more like no one tries to make any desicions. Taiga and Zakuro say they‘re fine with whatever, Ran derails the conversation before you know it... and Gui stays silent and just stretches the whole time.

saki: I-I see...

shinju: As much as I’m able to, I want to discuss and make a decision with everyone like Rindou does. With the current situation though, I don’t understand what the others are thinking at all...

saki: (Hmm... the situation seems more serious than I thought.)

saki: About what you told me the other day, what did Kei-san and Kokuyou-san do?

shinju: Hmm, after deciding their own answer they brought up the subject with the rest of us...?

saki: Why don’t you try doing that now? You decide first.

shinju: Me? Would it be alright for me to just decide on my own accord?

saki: Of course. You have quite a bit of experience being centre now too don’t you?

shinju: ...Right. Yeah that’s true. We can’t rehearse if we keep idling around like this! I’m gonna make a snap decision!

saki: That’s the spirit!

shinju: Thanks Saki-chan, with this I feel like we can progress forwards. We’ll definitely get it together, so please look forward to our show!

—end

[g0ldpainted]

22nd December - CtC’17

Gladiolus cheating on fem!S/O Part 2

Heya guys! Here it finally is! :D

1st Part ; 2nd Part ; 3rd Part // Noctis cheating 1 ; 2 ; 3 // Prompto cheating 1 ; 2 ; 3 // Ignis cheating 1 ; 2 // Ravus cheating

Words: 2900+

Genre: Angst, heartbreak, betrayal, lies

Spoilers: None

Trigger warnings: Cheating, depression, disability

Roughly three years had passed since Gladio's beloved girlfriend had a terrible stroke resulting in brain damage. It's also been three years since Gladiolus dared to cheat on her with two girls at the same time. And, of course, it's been three years since their daughter was born. 

To say those years were anyhow easy would be a huge lie. After Gladio's S/O woke up, she couldn't speak, couldn't walk and her right side was paralyzed. Their daughter had to be brought to life by a cesarean. But even after the little angel was laid down on her mother's chest, her mother could barely hold her.

She spent months in therapy. Her talking, reading and writing all had to be worked on along with her movements. There was still hope for her to - at least partly - regain control of her right side again. The little glimpse of hope that she could potentially move properly again, was enough to commit to all kinds of therapy. But that meant sacrificing time with her precious baby girl and forcing Gladiolus to work harder.

While her ability to talk came back faster than anyone expected, her writing and reading were still lacking months later. She still struggled to comprehend the words shown to her and couldn't write the majority of it. It certainly didn't help that she used to be right-handed and could no longer use that hand. She really had to start over learning how to write.

Although she could somewhat communicate again within a few months, she usually refused to - at least with her boyfriend. Her heart hurt whenever she saw Gladio; she very well remembered what he did, it was engraved in her heart and brain. It was truly unfortunate that she completely depended on him. From paying her bills to helping her take a bath - he had to do it all. On top of that, it was also him who took care of their beautiful daughter most of the time. Especially the first five months were absolute hell. There was no way his S/O could live on her own. Gladio had to help with every possible thing. Not only did it embarrass his girlfriend, it also made them feel like a complete burden. The biggest issue was their apartment. It was tiny and on the second floor, which meant Gladiolus had to carry his S/O up because the building didn't have an elevator. And their rooms were pretty full, doorframes were rather small - it was far from wheelchair friendly. It was absolutely no secret that they had to move.. But they really didn't have the money for it.

One might believe that Gladio was paid well during his time by Noctis' side - and he was.. But nowadays everything was thrice as expensive. He actually paid a majority of his girlfriend's bills with what he had saved up. The caretakers and nannies were incredibly expensive, too. When he was out to work, those had to be called in to help his S/O.

Needlessly to say, either weren't happy about the situation they were in. To know that their daughter was missing out on time with both her parents just made it worse - they really wanted to have more time for her. The only good news they ever received in those five months, except for their baby being born healthy and fine, was that the preeclampsia - that was now considered just eclampsia - slowly snuck its way out of their life.

Even after his S/O started speaking again, she only ever spoke to their daughter. Only mandatory words were spoken to her boyfriend. She didn't know what to tell him and didn't feel like he deserved to be thanked for all he did. Sure, she appreciated his help.. But he brought it on himself. If he had been with her, every complication could've been prevented. She would've never suffered such huge damage. Although she still loved him, her heart was broken. Broken from what he did. It really surprised her that he didn't seem to be meeting any females anymore - after all, his main reason seemed to be that he needed physical reassurance that his then-pregnant girlfriend couldn't provide. Nowadays she still refused to even let him kiss her. If anything, she expected him to have a couple of so-called fuck buddies by now. But that didn't seem to be the case. Instead, he was a hard-working, very caring boyfriend that certainly stayed faithful. All he wanted was for his little family to be okay. 

Knowing he was the one that caused his girlfriend's state bothered him greatly. There was no day passing by without him regretting what he did. To say he hated himself for it would be an underestimation. There was much more despise for himself than anyone could ever imagine. With the help of Ignis, he managed to turn that anger into something beautiful, though. He decided he wanted to change for the better, wanted to be the boyfriend his girlfriend deserved and a father that provides a wonderful life for his daughter. Both his girls meant the world to him. He really wanted to make up for his huge mistake, wanted to fix what he tore apart. And he really wanted his girlfriend to know how much she meant to him - even if she refused to speak to him. 

That's why, once her state was stable and she no longer had to rely on him for every tiny move, he decided to go on long hunts - those that tended to be further away and required a multiple day stays. They were the most beneficial and surely spiked up their bank account. While he was gone, it was usually Ignis and a caretaker coming over to help. Ignis had offered his help shortly after Gladio's S/O's damage was revealed but right after she woke, her condition was utterly terrible, professionals had to help her then. But now that she was gradually getting better at everyday life tasks, Ignis was enough of a help. The caretaker was only needed for daily checkups and to aid her physical therapy.

It was truly a miracle that she managed to improve so quickly.

While she still struggled to move the majority of her right side and her zero feeling in it, she was quick to manage to carry her baby. She was determined to hold her like any mother could. She was her motivation. It was bad enough that they couldn't bond properly after she was born; it was her goal to be the mother her daughter needed.

With that in mind, the pain and the suffering she was going through was bearable. Seeing that beautiful tiny human smile at her always warmed her heart. She looked so much like her father, from her lips to her facial features, she had his eyes and even her skin tone was going more in his' direction. At least she inherited her mother's hair color and her lip shape. It was a truly beautiful child.. And so lively, too.

Time flew by with that motivation in mind and before the couple knew, their 9th anniversary was coming up.

"(Y/N), can I.. Can we talk?" Gladiolus stood at the door leading to their daughter's room, leaning against it's frame.

Glancing over her shoulder, his S/O stared at him for a couple of seconds, trying to read him, before shrugging. Then she turned her attention back at their daughter who was, now, peacefully sleeping in her bed after her mother had read a book to her.

"I'd appreciate it.." he murmured, slowly and quietly stepping inside, reaching out for his the wheelchair in which his girlfriend was sitting.

The second he started pushing her out of the room, his S/O sighed. She loved watching their daughter sleep - it was when she was the most peaceful.

"I've been thinking…" he started, biting his lip hard, "Our 9th anniversary is coming up.. And I was wondering.. What we should do for it."

Instead of speaking, his girlfriend just nodded, letting him know she was listening. Once they were out of their daughter's room, he gently closed the door, then proceeded to push his girl towards their living room. Even though they had removed some furniture to make some extra space, it was barely enough. They still had to move eventually. 

"Do you want to sit on the couch?" he asked, walking around the wheelchair to look at her.

Again, she just nodded in return. There was no use in speaking to him yet. He then carefully picked her up and helped her sit on the couch. She still didn't have enough power over and strength in her right arm to actively lift herself up.

"Have you thought about.. Anything you'd like to do on our anniversary?" he asked softly, sitting down beside her and taking her hand in his'.

Smiling sadly, she lowered her head. It felt surreal to think they had been together for nine years already. Nine years that started so well, were so full of love until she fell pregnant. It still hurt her to know that their bundle of joy ended up unwillingly causing so much damage to their relationship, yet it was all they ever wanted back then.

"Any wish you have? Something we haven't done in a while?" he continued to speak out some questions, "I'm sure Ignis would be willing to take care of Heather."

"I don't know.." she whispered, keeping her eyes focused on the floor, "We.. We haven't celebrated our anniversary ever since she was born."

"Then don't you think it's about time to celebrate it once again?" he wondered, squeezing her hand softly. 

"I.. Don't know.." she repeated.  

"Don't you want to..?" 

"Gladio…" she sighed, "What are you expecting me to say?"

"I just.. - I was hoping for an answer" he replied, "We can take Heather with us if you want."

"That's not it.." she mumbled, shaking her head in disbelief, "Do you honestly believe that I could just forget what you did?"

At that, his eyes widened. In those three years since her stroke, they never once spoke about it. He never apologized. Gladiolus didn't want to pour salt on her wound and she couldn't speak about it.. It hurt too much. It still did.

"Not only did you seek out females to potentially hook up with - or at least exchange nudes and videos with - .. You also went right ahead to have sex with two of them.." she murmured, bringing all memories back, "You walked right out on me even after I told you I wasn't feeling good."

His heart began to race while hers felt like it was about to burst. She had withheld those feelings for too long.

"Gladio, I was pregnant with our Heather and you were well aware of how much pain I was going through," she continued to state her point of view, "That didn't stop you from complaining, though. You-.. I-.. You made me feel terrible about myself and the situation I was in. Not only did you complain about how much work I was and how useless I had been, you also made me feel incredibly bad about my appearance and condition and-.."

As she tried to go on, her voice cracked. There was too much pain linked to his actions, she couldn't hold back. 

"I know I shouldn't have checked your phone-.. But I- I was scared. Then you.. were so angry. You made sure to point out how you were tired of my body - as if that's all I've ever been.. - and that I was pissing you off.. And then-.." she sobbed, "Then you just left."

"(Y/N).." he breathed out, searching for words.

"My body started acting up and I was.. I was trying to reach my phone that was still on the ground.. I almost fell on my stomach, on our daughter on my way. My vision was blurry and I could barely make out the list.. I must've used face time instead of the normal calling function but by the time I realized that it was too late.. I had-.. I had seen it all.." she went on, tears slowly welling up in her eyes, "You had a threesome. A very.. Extensive one. You cheated on me. Not only virtually but physically, too."

His gaze dropped to the ground the moment he saw her tears. The tear-stained face he saw on his phone three years ago still haunted him at night. She seemed to broken and lifeless, he was scared he had lost the two most treasured people in his life. His daughter and his girlfriend.

"You knew it'd hurt me. You knew that by sleeping with those girls, you were betraying me and were willing to take the risk of losing me.." she whispered, fighting hard to hold back her tears, "You probably thought I'd never find out… It's too bad I witnessed it with my own eyes."

"I-.. I messed up. I know.. Bu-.."

"You never apologized to me, just pretended it didn't happen. And look what I am now.." she shook her head in disbelief once more, "I'm a burden.. A damn cripple."

"That's not tr-"

"Don't say that it's not true when we both know it is" the raised her voice lightly, "I know that my treatment is very expensive. My therapy, my wheelchair, my caretaker. And because we have a wonderful daughter, too, you're working four times as hard as you used to. But I don't hear you complaining anymore - now that I'm absolutely useless."

"That's because I'm aware I almost lost both of you and I'm grateful for my second chan-"

"So you needed me to endure tremendous pain, almost die, to realize that you do want to be with me?" she asked, frowning as she finally lift her head to look at him, "Was me being pregnant and in pain not good enough?"

"Tha-.. No.. I mean, yes.. - I always knew I wanted to be with you, I still do, but I needed to realize just how much I truly loved you" he explained, knowing he was sounding ridiculous. 

"So, me bearing our daughter was not enough? And that I was going through immense pain every single day? You needed to see me unconscious, half-dead in a hospital bed?" she went no, her frown deepening. 

"I'm sorry. I guess that was.. What I needed. A wake-up call" he went on to explain. 

"I can't believe you right now.." she murmured, finally tearing her hand from his to shield her face, hide her eyes with it.

"(Y/N).. I.. I'm sorry for being so selfish.. I should've been more considerate of you and our daughter. I'm desperately trying to make up for it, it's my fault you're in this wheelchair and I'm trying my hardest to make up for my mistakes.." he spoke softly, tears rising into his eyes as well, "I never want to lose you. I love you."

At his confession, she sobbed loudly. She hadn't heard that in a while. Nonetheless, she wasn't done yet. 

"How many time did you, physically, cheat on me?" she asked, gulping hard afterwards and removing her hand to look at him, to see honesty in his eyes, "Don't lie to me."

".. 10 more times with three more women," he admitted, avoiding her eyes in shame, "11 times in total with five different women. Those were.. Also the women whose photos and videos you found. It all happened back when you were pregnant."

At that, her heart absolutely shattered. She had been convinced he was faithful before that one time she witnessed it. But he wasn't. Tears immediately streamed down her face. If she could, she would've left right now - but she couldn't, she was bound to her wheelchair.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I don't know what got into me" he shouted out, frustrated with himself, feeling his own heart break as he saw his girlfriend's tears, "Please believe me when I say I regret everything I did that hurt you. I love you with all of my heart. Please.. Please believe me."

That day, her voice wasn't heard anymore. She shut down. To know he would've never told her if she hadn't asked, hurt her more than she ever thought it could. She knew her pregnancy was bumpy, that they fought a lot, too, but not once did she consider him actively cheating on her. Until she saw it on his phone. Knowing that it had been going for a longer time than she thought, made her feel empty. He knew he'd cause damage to their relationship if she'd find out. He never intended to tell her.. But now she knew and every 'I love you' during her pregnancy felt like a lie. That night, Gladiolus had to go hunting at night, Ignis was coming over. It didn't take long before he noticed the heartbroken mood from his female friend. And of course, he cared, asked her what was going on and if he could help her anyhow. And he could. She shed her heart out to him. All the pain, the suffering, the emptiness, the everlasting sadness she couldn't overcome, the feeling of never being good enough. He patiently listened to it all, even held her in his arms to comfort her. Little did she know that Ignis had developed sincere feelings for her and each time he saw her cry, he wanted to punch Gladio, make him regret ever making her cry. Someday he would confess.. But until then, he'd gladly help her on the road to recovery.

A/N: How about a third part concluding everything? ^^ If you want, you can take part in deciding their future here (it’s a strawpoll, no registration/info needed)! Depending on what option wins, they might either stay together or not - we’ll see! :D The poll’s open until the 30th December. c: Poll is closed, next part is in the making! :)

2nd December ; 3rd December ; 4th December ; 5th December ; 6th December ; 7th December ; 8th December ; 9th December ; 10th December ; 11th December ; 12th December ; 13th December ; 14th December ; 15th December ; 16th December ; 17th December ; 18th December ; 19th December ; 20th December ; 21st December ; 22nd December ; 23rd December ; 24th December ; 25th December

Masterlist ; 1st Part ; 2nd Part ; 3rd Part // Noctis cheating 1 ; 2 ; 3 // Prompto cheating 1 ; 2 ; 3 // Ignis cheating 1 ; 2 // Ravus cheating

[curseoflight-blog]

2nd Anniversary-- Thank You All!

Well, it just occurred to me tonight that yesterday, March 16th, was my second anniversary of being a member of National Park RP. Can you believe that? I honestly can’t. Two years has really flown by, and I’m shocked to think about where I was when I first joined, compared to now.

It feels like eternity, but in a good way.

I joined as Silver in our lovely little group on March 16th, as I mentioned! It was the first time I’d ever played Silver and the first time I’d ever been in a real roleplay group. I had run my own roleplay group in the Homestuck community for a couple of months, but that shit doesn’t count because I had no idea what I was doing and it was an absolute fucking mess. Kinda cool concept, -500/10 execution.

Fact is, though, I’m still grateful for that hot mess of a group because it brought me to this one. I had seen Natpark in passing when I promoted my own group. I left the Homestuck community in November 2015. I completely fell out of my interest in Homestuck and regained my deep love for Pokemon in that time. Not that it had ever disappeared, but it had taken a backseat to Homestuck while I obsessed over it for about two years.

In March, something just told me to pick up rp again. I guess my experience in my rp group had made me want to participate in a group setting, or perhaps I wanted to ensure more activity on my muse. But something drew me to Natpark. I must have seen that classic Feraligatr promo we still use to this day and thought, “Hey, I remember that group from when I was posting promos for my group”. I checked out the page, was charmed by how Cas would answer reserves and various messages (something that TOTALLY sold me when I submitted my Silver blog), saw someone reserved Lyra that very day, and it seemed to be a sign to me. I reserved Silver without hesitation.

And... yeah, I’ve been here ever since. I wasn’t sure how long I’d last in the group, admittedly, because I tended to be a flake when it came to keeping muses. I just had so much passion for so many muses! Oftentimes, in the past, I’d pick up muses I didn’t know much about just for sake of learning about them. So I didn’t know if I’d keep Silver very long, but, surprisingly, he lasted until December 2017. Nearly the whole two years I’ve been here!

I’ve changed out about 5 or so muses now. Silver, Proton, and Nanu were my longest muses, all sitting at the very least more than a year. But let’s not forget my other two, lesser known muses: Erika and Rocket Grunt Mei. Erika I had for like two weeks and I regretted her instantly LOL, but Mei I quite enjoyed. Now I’ve got AZ and Ace Trainer Kid, and I’m loving the change though I miss those old muses. I really enjoy exploring these new characters.

Despite the changes in muses, Natpark has been a consistent part of my life since 2016. Cas and I became friends in the early summer after I finished my Junior year of high school. We talked on Skype all the time, something we still do to this day! I remember being nervous about it cause my mom never ever let me to talk to people on Skype, lmao. I had to Commit Some Crimes to become friends with Cas in the way I have. But it was a good choice. Cas is now a really amazing friend of mine, and I’m so grateful for that.

In fact, she was the first person to talk to me in Natpark! I had no idea how closed groups worked, really, and I didn’t even know she was the mod at first! I don’t believe we had a member list at the time, or if we did it wasn’t as good as our current one, so it was total hard-mode to learn who everybody was, especially because the group was massive at the time, with about 35 or more members!

We’re getting closer to that number every day it seems, but this group feels much more close knit now. Not to say anything bad of those members we had two years ago, I remember really liking everyone and feeling super welcomed, but I think I know everyone here much more nowadays! But maybe that’s just cause I’m a veteran of the group now, as well as a moderator, so it’s kind of my job to know people!

But I love that aspect, honestly? I never expected that I’d become a mod of this group, though like others I’m sure, I thought about it! In fact, I literally pictured myself as Meowth-mod before the name was ever suggested and Cas and I discussed my possible mod role seriously! I’m glad I was able to become a mod in this group, because I feel like I got to know all of you even more than before. It’s made the Park even more special to me because of this. My experience has just been a wonderful one throughout these two years.

I guess what I want to say is thank you. To all of you, those who have just joined like our super cool newest member Alex and those who have been with the Park longer than me, like those amazing Natpark vets Rach and David, to everyone in between that that I also deeply love-- TOO MANY TO NAME!! Each one of you makes this group so special to me. I’ve never had such a good roleplay experience, though most of the time my experience was usually pretty decent to, very rarely, pretty shit, but this went above and beyond. I’m so happy that I know you guys and have been able to make so many friends. I’m grateful that I can write with such wonderful writers and sharpen my own skills as well. It means a lot.

Who knows where life is going to take any of us next, but regardless of it all, I look forward to continuing to write with all of you guys.

Keep your eyes peeled, I’ll be picking up a third muse as well for people to interact with pretty soon! I think you guys will really like them. Thanks again you guys for a great two years and an amazing experience!!!!

~ Psy