#{{he’s likely also distressed over this in some capacity}}

[dalliancekay]

Aziraphale, misogyny and the female character treatment

I don't know if anyone wrote a post about this but I see from time to time comments to this end - that Aziraphale is treated like the female leads in films often are, obviously especially romantic films. So I'm gonna try to point how I see this. I welcome further insights of course.

Say we take a basic premise of a romantic film: A girl is wooed by a bad boy for example. And she is a good girl, from a good, proper family and everything so she refuses his advances. This goes on through his various ploys to entertain and romance her, do things for her etc etc and frustrates us as the audience because we can see the bad boy is actually good, her family is oppressive and holding her back and that she (deep down) cares for him (if only she was brave enough to admit it to herself) and so we want her to open her eyes and say she is actually in love with him cos her life will be so much better should she (finally) give in and run away with him.

Familiar? Reasons Aziraphale is not her and the analogy does not fit (but that I so often see in metas and takes about her):

Aziraphale always knew her family is shit. Or at least longer than Crowley did. She was already anxious in Before the Beginning about what she thought Angel!Crowley could and could not say or do without getting into trouble.

She knows Crowley is good. She never doubted him. Whatever he says or does or pretends to do or must do for his job. Aziraphale knows he's inherently good and would always do good if he can.

She knows she's in love - I mean we can argue about when each realised this and also when each realised the other loves them back just as fiercely, but they both know. And they both love. And they both long to be together. Aziraphale is not ashamed of her feelings nor hiding or suppressing them for fear they are wrong or immoral or other BS like that.

Aziraphale doesn't need to overcome her love for her family/employer and finally make the leap to be with Crowley. They simply can't leave their bosses without punishment. Neither of them. They live in a dictatorship with nowhere to go. And just because Crowley experienced both sides, doesn't give him some huge insight that Aziraphale completely lacks. Both places are awful. Their separation isn’t about fear of societal judgment (or Aziraphale's unwillingness to give up Heaven, being seen as good, being an angel - and to what end, to Fall? I really don't know what takes like this want from her, it would not work anyway), it’s about survival in a system that won’t let them be together.

Aziraphale doesn't want to change Crowley. She never did. She asked for Crowley to come to Heaven as an angel because that was THE ONLY option she had for them to be together in any capacity at that point. It was NOT an attempt to “fix” him—it was a desperate bid for a way they could be together at all.

One thing I don't see as much anymore is the call for Aziraphale to change. Obviously she's pretty but she would be prettier if she lost those century old clothes maybe and started listening to something made after 1950? Be more cool to match Crowley? Less stuffy?

These kind of film premises are already pointless, offensive and make me roll my eyes, but to stick them all over Aziraphale and huff cos she doesn't do what the clever sexy man in dark clothes and sunglasses says she should - well that makes me angry.

And so do takes and mischaracterisations that ignore Aziraphale as silly, her worries as pointless, sometimes excessive - maybe she's just hysterical, you know? The one time she shows more emotion, in F15, she is so often completely ignored in her obvious distress just because Crowley is trying to confess his love at the same time and seemingly 'not getting through,' because Aziraphale is not reacting the way everyone expects. So many takes that always assume Crowley is right, no matter what. Even when he calls Aziraphale an idiot. If Crowley says that, it must be true. No matter that the book spells out in Terry's voice that the angel is extremely clever.

Aziraphale’s charm lies in her kindness, her love for books and knowledge, her whimsy, and her quiet courage. These qualities don’t make her naive—they make her resilient. She often hides how she truly feels, hides her grief, her pain, her true desires, hides what she really thinks; always always to protect herself and her beloved. She is often forced to say stuff she doesn't mean. Again. To keep the one she loves and their fragile relationship safe. But where people seem to catch on with that on Crowley's side, they don't with Aziraphale. She is fierce when pushed and will defend the defenceless (humans) and the ones she loves (Crowley) to her last breath (whether she needs to breathe is irrelevant right now okay).

She loves her bookshop. She built this home, full of knowledge for herself and her demon and you can take this HC from my cold hands. That she was forced to leave it, only emphasises how little choice she had in Final 15. Good Omens has two main, equal characters; who are both gorgeous and complex and deep and neither is right or wrong or in need of saving or learning some huge lesson to get to their goal and be together. What needs to change is the world, the system they live in. And they will change it. P.S. Just to add, many, many (if not all) bad takes on Aziraphale are also bad takes on Crowley. They mischaracterise and misunderstand just how deeply and unconditionally he loves Aziraphale. How he adores her and understands and accepts her just as she is. He does not expect or want Aziraphale to change in any way. He knows why they are not together. And it's not Aziraphale's fault, it's because of circumstances, not because of her choices. Crowley would never ever want Aziraphale to suffer, he wouldn't expect her to come back from Heaven saying how sorry she is for what happened, how stupid and blind she was and how he was always right. That's just not going to happen. ------------------------------------------ @tenok I simply must highlight the awesomeness you put in hashtags!! EVERYBODY please read:

Thank you sm for this!!

[gghostwriter]

hi dear author! how are you?

I have a request for Spencer where reader has a head injury and passes out and Spencer's reaction to it and the aftermath. I found your fic around 15 mins ago and I'm in love with them<3

Thank you!!

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader Trope: Established Relationship; Fluff! Just fluff Warning: Medical inaccuracies A/N: I’m sensing a pattern with the request writing I’m doing—most of them deal with a head injury of some sort but I am having fun trying to make it different the the earlier works. No further editing was done but I hope you enjoy it! Main masterlist

Bundle of Nerves. // Spencer Reid

The bright and playful disposition of your kindergarten students was one of things you looked forward to every Monday. How each student would go up to you to chatter about how their weekend went—family went to the park or to the library or to the beach—and how in return, they’ll ask if you also enjoyed the weekend as much as they did. 

But something seemed off today, you really couldn’t specify where it all started. Maybe it was you falling back to sleep after your alarm went off, or maybe it was you missing breakfast, or maybe it was just all of the above. 

Either way, everything was going sideways and it was just about to get worse. The lights seemed darker, the children’s voices were distorted, and the room was starting to sway. Feeling the need to sit down, you were only able to take a couple of steps to your desk before promptly fainting—smacking your forehead on the floor and the children screaming for help.

———

Spencer wasn’t one to wish for a case to land on JJ’s desk but at 1:30pm on a Monday, he found himself twiddling his thumbs and calculating his rocket launches using his expansive brain capacity—all paper filings done and submitted early. He swiveled to face Morgan who was caught red handed about to throw a paper clip in his direction. 

“Hey Kid,” he cleared his throat, trying to act nonchalantly. “You done with your paperwork?”

“Yeah, now I’m thinking of how to improve my rocket magic. Hey do you think if I add more—” 

The vibration of his phone on the table interrupted his sentence. His eyebrows furrowed as he took in the unregistered number. Curious but definitely wary, he pressed ‘accept’.

“Hi, this is Dr. Spencer Reid. Who is this?”

A female voice answered. “Hi Dr. Spencer Reid, I’m calling from Virginia State Hospital. Y/N had you listed down as her emergency contact. She was admitted—”

The remaining information all sounded muffled. His breathing was spiking up and all he could hear now was the rapid staccato beating of his heart. He couldn’t think straight. Is this what unknowing family members of victims feel when they receive a distress call? Like the rug was pulled under their feet? He couldn’t comprehend what to do, how to—

“Dr. Reid, are you still there?”

He cleared his throat. “Yes—yes, I’ll be there soon.”

Before the voice could say another word, he ended the call, was out of his desk, and up the steps to his unit chief’s office, SSA Aaron Hotchner. 

“Reid, what is it?” the stern BAU leader clocking in the distress painted on the genius’ face.

“I-it’s Y/N. She was admitted at hospital and—”

He nodded. “Go, Reid. I’ll explain to the team and HR.”

With a quick ‘thank you’, he ducked out of the bullpen to the elevator, grateful that he opted to drive to Quantico today rather than take his usual train route.

Maybe he should have borrowed the government owned SUV instead, he thought to himself when he turned to the main road and saw the congestion. Hotch would have understood, he just wasn’t sure how to explain that in paperwork but this counted as an emergency, right? It felt like a life or death situation to him—for him and for you. 

When he exited the bottleneck traffic, Spencer wanted to floor the gas. His foot itched to stomp on the accelerator and worry about the fines later. But the idea of getting caught, being pulled over, and wasting more precious seconds away from your side was enough for him to second guess it—that and his tight white knuckle grip on the steering wheel. 

He should have asked for more information over the phone call but the second his mind registered the words, it went to overdrive and out of the window—his emotions were running high and clouding every logical thought possible. He had an IQ of 187 but all he could think of was you. You, the love of his life. You, his fiancee, lying down on a hospital bed, alone and unconscious. Any man, no matter how smart they are, would react the same way he did when it involves a loved one.

He parked his car at the first slot he could find in the hospital parking lot and ran straight to the reception.

“I’m looking for Y/N. She was admitted a while ago. I-I’m her fiancee.” Spencer hurriedly introduced himself.

The nurse nodded once, stating your floor and room number. Without so much as an acknowledgement, he ran to the nearest elevator and willed it to open any faster.

Spencer felt like he ran a marathon by the time he found your room and seeing you there, lying on your bed—conscious, thank god—took a little weight off his chest. He breathed out your name in relief. “What happened? Did you—did you hit your head?”

Your hand gingerly touched the bandage on your forehead. “I think so. I started to feel faint so I was walking back to my chair. I must have hit my head on my way down—”

He took your hands into his, kissing it. “You had me so worried. Did the doctor say anything? Diagnosis? Cause? Treatment?”

“No. When I came to, only a nurse was here. She left to page the doctor but it’s okay—I feel fine now.”

Spencer opened his mouth, no doubt to chide you about minimizing your pain and health, but then the doctor walked in with a clipboard on hand.

“Hi, I’m Doctor Smith. How are we feeling?”

“She said she was feeling faint before she hit her head. Does she have a concussion? Why did she feel faint—was it stress? Hypoglycemia? Labyrinthitis? Vertebrobasilar insufficiency?” Spencer rattled off.

 “Well, your husband sure knows medical terminology. Are you a Doctor too?” the physician asked.

Spencer’s brows met in between, finding the whole interaction off-putting. Here he was about to have a nervous breakdown and your doctor was as calm as a cucumber. “Fiancee, actually, and yes Doctor, 3 Phds not MD.”

“Impressive, and to answer your questions, Doc. None of the above.” 

His eyes widened. “Then it could be hypo—” 

Dr. Smith smiled and shook his head. “It’s not that either.” He reached into his clipboard, removing a prescription pad, and quickly jotting down medicine. “Here you go. She’ll need to take a capsule a day and I suggest a healthy balanced meal, exercise, and plenty of bed rest.”

Spencer’s eyes widened when he realized what the chicken scratch handwriting said. 

“What—what is it?” You asked in worry as Spencer seemed to have glitched.

The doctor grinned at you.“Congratulations, you’re pregnant.” 

Silence. 

“I-I’m what?!” 

The doctor chuckled. “You’re 3 weeks along so you’re still in the early stages. Your body is still adjusting—the fainting spell was caused by change in your hormones and low blood pressure. I suggest you schedule an appointment with your OB/GYN as soon as possible and get ample rest—” he looked at the couple once more before exiting the room. “—congratulations, again.”

The tears that started to gather in your eyes seemed to bring Spencer back to life. “Oh love, are those—are those happy tears or—?” 

You nodded. “Happy tears, Spence. I can’t believe it!” 

He reached out to hug you to his chest. “I love you, Y/N. You make me feel like the luckiest man in the world.” 

You giggled. “I guess we have to tell your team about the baby genius on board, huh?” 

He laughed, remembering how Emily once asked him if he ever planned on having one and here he was about to become a father. 

You gasp, causing him to lean back and look at you with worry—did he hug you too tight? Did you feel— 

“I’m not going to fit in my wedding dress by then! Penny will have a fit! She had this vision and—” 

He leaned down to interrupt your ramblings. 

“I’m sure she’ll forgive you, especially if you're turning her into an aunt.”

You smiled, peering through your eyelashes. “Y’know we might have to find a new apartment soon. Just imagining how much shopping Penny would do for our baby genius even before he or she is born is making me shudder.”

He laughed. “Me too, love. Me too.”

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[cinemaocd]

I think the fundamental David Lynch story was the one he told about being a kid in rural Montana, playing outside at the end of a long summer's day. It was dusk and he was putting away his toys and a woman came out of the woods naked. She was clearly upset and clearly had experienced some kind of terrible trauma. She left before he could do anything to help.

This image of a woman in distress in the wilderness, appeared over and over in his work: Ronette Polaski in her slip, running across the train trestle in Twin Peaks, the beautiful, dying stranger with the head injury in Wild at Heart, Rita's flight from the limo in Mulholland Drive (there are probably loads more, this is just three I could think of off the top of my head). Every David Lynch narrative is haunted by a vulnerable person who is beyond help.

There was also a thread running through his work about our guilt and complicity in seeing the images of people in distress for our own pleasure. I'm thinking about the jumpscare with the homeless person behind the dumpster in Mullholland drive, the people who pay to see John Merrick in the clinic after hours in the Elephant Man, the way that Nikki Grace--the main character in Inland Empire, a movie whose tagline is 'a woman in trouble' literally dies on the street while people step over her body.

Lynch's art confronted evil in the world and our powerless over it, but it also confronted the very media he worked in, which of course thrives off reproducing these images of horrific suffering.

I'm not a visual artist but I was so inspired by him as a writer because I feel like there are certain themes that pop up in my work over and over and finding new ways to express them is useful to me and because I admired his seemingly inexhaustable capacity to keep working beyond what was promised, demanded or paid for until the last moment of his life. May all creative people find that groove and ride it to the end.

[hastyprovocateur]

An analysis of Mizu×Akemi

Mizu gave up Akemi to Lord Daichi's men saying her path of revenge has no room for "love, friendship or weakness." She looked Ringo up and down at "weakness" after which he got offended and ended his apprenticeship for not helping Akemi. Mizu's eyes held guilt as Akemi cried out for her, hoping to be by Mizu's side and not go through with her marriage to the Shogun's son. Mizu was aware that if she fought Daichi's men, it meant more would be coming, which inadvertently meant more time having Akemi around, growing close to her... peering into her soul, breaking some walls... like she did at Madam Kaji's when she lay bare the fact that she's not the killer she pretends to be. Which was hammer meets nail as far as Mizu's singular purpose is concerned. It also means a lot that Mizu's appearance in itself wasn't scary to Akemi, or worthy of contempt despite being an aristocrat in an extremely xenophobic time. Racism should've been her second language but she doesn't exercise it. She only noted the distress evident in Mizu's behavior. Her rage- "Your face isn't even so scary... you're just... angry."

The thing about noticing is... you keep noticing more. Especially someone as observant and calculated as Akemi. Mizu was aware of this, hence why she tested Akemi's mettle in the brothel knowing she was the princess all along, trying to get under her skin instead of the other way around- "You thought I wouldn't recognize you?" casting back to the very intense first sight exchanged between the two on the bridge in ep 1. Mizu looked up with little interest, yet the stoic samurai's jaw dropped upon their prolonged eye contact and she tracked the palanquin long after Akemi had left her line of sight. It's implicit that love, friendship, and weakness represent Akemi, Taigen, and Ringo respectively. When Ringo questioned why Mizu let the princess go, she stated that Akemi's "better off" almost following up with "without me." She didn't deem her marriage to the Shogun as favourable, hell, she was unimpressed by the fact that Akemi was trying to save her doomed engagement with Taigen, telling her she's "begging to eat trash" despite being a "magical forest creature," who could have anything she wants. Mizu still considered it the lesser evil as opposed to spending time alone with her.

This isn't the case with Taigen, whom she is decidedly more comfortable with even though he threatens her, and calls her slurs. In part, Mizu believes that she deserves the hatred. She's more familiar with it. With her past where she was the demon as opposed to the future where she could be loved. Imagining true love is cruel for Mizu so she rejects it and embraces her darkness. It protects her from people actually seeing her as a person. As a whole. She can loathe herself in peace. She can be a vessel of revenge. She even promised Taigen the duel he wanted to up and kill her in exchange for his honour. Believing she won't have much to live for after concluding her revenge. Akemi is not the same. She never wished to hurt Mizu, going only so far as to try and drug her, until Mizu made her believe she killed her fiancé. Akemi was soon able to see Mizu's honour when she fought alone against the Thousand Clawed to protect Kaji's girls. Akemi was bent on helping, braving the trained men to protect Ringo and then to save Mizu's life from the man who almost choked her to death.

I will forever love the detail of her vulnerability in the face of death being mirrored by Mizu's own intimacy with Mikio in the flashback, letting her body serve love over rage for once. Engaging in sex was a huge step towards transparency on Mizu's part. Also, the fact that Akemi, in her little capacity, wielded her knife and pulled the clawed men away from unconscious Mizu, trying to keep their focus on her. Knowing she could very well die. She tells Ringo "I have been a captive my whole life. If I die, I'll die free." And then she goes upstairs saying "Mizu can't hold them off alone." Acting, most likely, out of a place of love. I was also warmed at the instances of Akemi trying to "drug" Mizu before she took on the bitter task of killing Kinuyo and then a few scenes later "slapping her awake" from a burning memory of betrayal. When her father's men came to fetch her, Akemi did not doubt that Mizu would fight for her after she did the same for her, hence her asking for her validation "I'm not going anywhere... right, Mizu?". And Mizu would've fought them for her, what's 3 more men after a whole army? But something prevented her.

To ruin Akemi's strong faith in her then... as opposed to later? When more of her ugliness had spilled before the princess? When both their hearts were more open to be scrutinized by the other? Madam Kaji and Swordfather Eiji are both the motherly and fatherly advice Mizu sorely needs. That fighting is an art, not independent of loving. Mizu cannot evade love if she is to take on a bigger war. She cannot do it alone and the story's purpose keeps circling back to the same lesson. Fighting from a place of hatred can never be stronger than fighting from a place of love. Akemi, evidently, was hoping to seek refuge under Mizu's protection. She is loyal, as she was to Taigen even though he abandoned her in pursuit of his lost honor. But Mizu's betrayal broke her heart. At the end of the Bunraku play in ep 5, Akemi confessed that she met the Onryo but that it was "incapable of love." That she searched his eyes for "love or mercy or good," only finding darkness. Both Mizu and Akemi weighed the merit of love in each other, Mizu pushed Akemi away because she felt love and Akemi avoided Mizu because she felt her lack of love.

Taigen, Mizu's former bully, did learn to respect her as a fighter and comrade. Representing their growing camaraderie, how they fight alongside. Mizu told him about Akemi getting married off to the Shogun's son in her duty to him as a friend. Upon learning that she abandoned Akemi, Taigen is also reasonably pissed. Mizu is on the precipice of the rebirth of her katana. Swordfather is justified in being wary of her guilt and darkness, refusing to aid in her pursuit but only guiding her by way of asking her to seek peace, to unify herself. Which she does by adding Chiaki's broken blade (which Taigen took), Akemi's knife, Eiji's tongs and Ringo's bell into the forge. She is ready to make amends by going to save Akemi, to encourage her to leave with Taigen, to be honorable as Ringo wants, and to find peace as Eiji wishes. And ofc to fuck the shit out of Fowler.

Akemi's repeated assertion of "we are not friends" (accompanied by the angy eyes) when Mizu comes back to save her is reflective of that heartbreak Akemi felt after relying on Mizu for her freedom before. Mizu tries to fix this by showing her a way to Taigen, trying to do right by her, asking "Do you still want your freedom or not." To give her what she wants even if she disapproves of Akemi's choice when she states "He's not a good guy, but he could be a great one." Seki too, gives Akemi a share of her dowry he saved to build a free life "With Taigen, or without." Akemi did end up rejecting the idyllic runaway Taigen was willing to embark on, it is hard to say Mizu would take it as an opportunity to make a move on Taigen after deeming him unsuitable for a partner. It would be against her nature to try to jump in as a lover just because Akemi's out of the picture. Not when she's so hot on the track of striking down Skeffington and Routley. It's pretty straightforward if you ask me.

Mizu is focused on going up for a bigger war. To seek the truth. To turn London upside down to kill all the four white demons that sabotaged her life since conception. This is parallel to Akemi deciding to stay and take control of the Shogunate through her powers over her decidedly meek husband. To take control of her life against all the odds that seek to box her up. I do not doubt that she will move to include Kaji and her girls in her retinue, subdue her father's machinations and rebuild Edo, and wrest power from whoever threatens her. Love doesn't seem to be on her cards. Kaji told her to choose a path of freedom through a man, not to choose a man to love like she'd been doing all along- "Stop running to and from men and decide what you want for your fucking self." Could this mean that Akemi is to never chase men romantically? Either way, Akemi follows through pretty quickly. Takoyoshi is a means to an end. Her sexual prowess was her first tool to entry into the Shogunate. Nothing more than an instrument of control as opposed to her initiating any sort of genuine romantic bond.

I fail to see as of now where Mizu and Taigen's paths collide romantically further since the latter clearly showed his intention to abandon all pursuits of greatness and to settle down. Which is vastly opposed to what Mizu and Akemi are bent on doing. I see a lot of potential there. If anything, Mizu would quite possibly need Akemi's refuge if she were to return to Japan in the wake of the London chaos. They are foils of each other. On the opposite ends of the spectrum with the same stories. Poor-rich, blue-red, water-vermillion, darkened-fair, streetsmart-booksmart, warrior-prostitute, bastard-pureblood, masculine-feminine, caged internally- caged externally, widow-new bride. Both deal with same vindictive self-serving parents. Mizu lost her stand-in mother in ep 5, and Akemi lost Seki at the end of ep 9. Mizu the crashing waves and Akemi the rising flames. Both women. Both so alike yet so different. Mizu's name is pretty straightforward, meaning "water." However Akemi's can be written as "bright sea" or "vermillion beauty" While vermillion is Akemi's colour scheme, "sea" is likely her connection to Mizu.

I find the sex in the show to be representative at best. Borne out of duty or manipulation rather than true love. Just because Akemi and Taigen had sex was no testament to the endurance of the depth of their relationship, same as Mizu and Mikio's wasn't. Akemi's alliances with men have always been influenced by the need to go with or against her father and never her independent choice. Same as Mizu merely agreeing to her mother's insistence on marrying and settling down. I liked the juxtaposition of Mizu being submissive during sex and Akemi being dominant, both with Taigen and Takoyoshi as well as in the brothel. Here, I would extend that this isn't their true nature. Both in marriage or the brothel, sex is labour meant to cater to men. As Seki said a woman can only have fixed paths- "Proper wife or improper whore." I can't imagine Mizu or Akemi being happy as either.

Akemi for the most of S1 only wanted to be loved but was being forced to use her lovemaking skills to steer men into agreeing with her. Playing the improper whore. I imagine that in a safer intimate relationship, she would enjoy being on the bottom, to be protected and pleasured instead of always being the pleasurer. Mizu on the other hand, was shown to deliberately downplay her physical agencies during her marriage, to pretend to not know knife throwing or what she wants during sex, thus settling for whatever her husband had to give lest he feel inferior. I would imagine she'd prefer to be loved in all her proactive masculinity, to not be forced to submit. To not be forced to be the proper wife.

Mizu has repeatedly been shown to dominate people unthinkingly, her safety lies in her being on top and knowing what she's getting into. We saw a glimpse of that in the brothel with Akemi under Mizu where she ordered the princess to "get down." The colours from their respective sex scenes blended into one, inky blue on Mizu's end, warm golden on Akemi's. Mizu immediately doses the princess on pursuing worthless men and then Akemi soon willingly submitting to Mizu's protection while thinking of her to be a man. They both tried doing the rightful wife thing, both tried to save their marriages with their husbands as best they could, to be the ideal women even after both men bailed on them. But now they are liberated. Akemi is free from her father and on the path to rule Edo, Mizu is on her own with Fowler, to pursue her revenge in London. Both are relentless in their pursuits. Akemi's "No one refuses me" and Mizu's "We're going to the 9th level" is one and the same. Unstoppable force meets immovable object. Only time will tell. I rest my case.

[raaorqtpbpdy]

The Importance of Employee Retention

The head manager of Nasty Burger really struck gold when he hired Valerie.

For the prompts: The Nasty Burger would do anything to keep Valerie employed. She’s the only one willing to deal with both shitty customers and the ghosts. {from @ecto-american}, There was something in the water. {@sofoklesk}, and "Please tell me that's a knife in your pocket." {@96kyirah}

Read also on AO3

[Warnings for implied drug use, canon-typical violent, and mild language]

Michael had been the head manager of the Elm Street Nasty Burger for 20 years (well, it would be 20 years this June), and in all that time, he'd never seen an employee like Valerie Gray. 

When he'd first interviewed her, he'd thought she was just another dime-a-dozen high school student who wanted a fast food job to get some spending money for the mall. Those types were usually perfectly acceptable employees—low on enthusiasm and effort, but they rarely argued when he told them to do something, and never noticed when he skimped on their paychecks a tad, or had them do something that was technically illegal to assign to anyone under eighteen.

Like his dad always said, it's only illegal if you get caught, and teenagers never knew their rights.

And in some respects, Valerie was exactly like every other teen he'd ever employed. She was just as oblivious when he skimped 10 cents an hour from her paycheck, she didn't realize that persons under the age of eighteen were legally not allowed to work shifts more than eight hours, and she had no problem handling knives and heavy equipment, even that was also against the law for minors.

In other respects, though, Valerie was a godsend. Not only did she have a truly remarkable capacity for remaining calm in the face of angry customers complaining about made up problems, but she had a similarly high capacity for remaining calm in the face of ghosts, both the harmless blobs that milled about wherever you looked, and the ones that constituted genuine threats.

It wasn't long before Michael decided it was worth putting those ten cents an hour he was scraping back into her pay stub. After she'd casually moved that biker ghost and his girlfriend through the drive through without incident, it was obvious that she was one employee he should try to hold onto. Even if she had taken a ten minute bathroom break immediately afterwards. Honestly, he could hardly blame her—he would have needed a few minutes to recover from that terror too.

—

"Excuse me, I think there's something in your water," a customer called to him over the counter.

He turned to see a woman holding a water cup. She didn't seem angry... a little distressed, definitely, but her tone hadn't been accusatory. Hesitantly, Michael walked over to see what she was talking about.

"Oh Jumping Jehoshaphat," he exclaimed, taking a step back with one hand on his chest in alarm.

The water was green. It was green. Why was it green? They didn't serve any green drinks!

Valerie happened to be working in the kitchen and came over when she heard him shout.

"What is it?" she asked.

The customer showed Valerie the cup of green water, and when it moved, Michael could tell that it was also unnaturally viscous.

Valerie, much to his alarm, took the cup of water and dipped her finger in it, then licked it.

"Valerie—"

"I got this," she said. "Can you cover me in the kitchen for a few minutes Michael? I'm pretty sure there's a blob ghost stuck in the soda fountain."

"What?" He spluttered. "I mean sure, but—"

"Great!" 

She didn't wait to hear any arguments before getting the ladder and a pair of rubber gloves from the utility closet and going to open up the soda machine. 

"Let's see now... where could it—there you are!" She reached a gloved hand into the open top and pulled out a blob ghost about the size of a baseball. "How'd you get stuck in the hose little guy? You can turn intangible."

The blob ghost made a happy little gurgling noise at being free and rolled around in her palm.

"You're awfully cute, but a ghost is a ghost." She wiped her free hand off on her apron and pulled something small and round out of her pocket. "I'll take you to Mr. Masters' portal later, but you'll just have to hang out in this capture coin for a few hours until my shift's over."

She fiddled with the object for a moment, then, in a flash, the blob ghost disappeared. Then, she proceeded to run each of the fountain spouts for a few seconds to cycle out the contaminated water.

She returned to the counter. "Thanks for bringing this to our attention, miss," she told the customer. "I've taken care of the problem, and I assure you the drinks from the fountain are perfectly safe for consumption. Let me get you a new cup."

She did just that and the woman thanked her and went to get some clean water.

"Are you... sure that's safe?" Michael asked. "Or were you just lying to avoid any more complaints?" Either way, he was duly impressed.

"It's not a lie. Ectoplasm is totally safe to consume in small quantities. Don't you read the Fentons' blog?"

He hadn't even known the Fentons had a blog. Of course, even if he had, he would never have thought to actually read the thing. Even now, he couldn't imagine what kind of deranged raving blog posts might populate such a site. Poor Valerie.

"Well... thank you, nonetheless," he told her. "You handled that situation very well."

"Tell it to my paycheck," she retorted with a snort, clearly joking.

Even so, when he upped her pay another 50 cents an hour, she knew what it was for, and she certainly wasn't complaining. He figured that was enough to ensure her loyalty for at least a little while longer.

—

"Hey Michael, I gotta talk to you," she called him out one night at the end of her shift.

Instantly, his guard was up. She wasn't quitting, was she? She couldn't be? He needed her? Ghosts had been an even bigger problem ever since summer started and Phantom was nowhere to be found. He couldn't lose Valerie. Not when her presence made Nasty Burger the last safe public space to be in after sundown.

"Yes?" He tried to keep his voice as nonchalant as possible, doing his best to hide the trepidation he was truly feeling.

"I think I need to cut my hours," she told him. "I can't keep working late nights anymore I have to... uh... you know, sleep sometime."

Cut her hours? Not work late? No! This was terrible. He needed her.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," she said. "I can't work the 6pm to 1 shift anymore."

"Is there anything I can do to change your mind?" he asked. That particular shift tended to be pretty slow after the initial dinner rush, but it was when the ghosts were most active, which obviously meant it was also when he most needed Valerie. "I'd be willing to look the other way if you wanted to take extra, unscheduled nap breaks when it's slow!"

"Really?" she asked. "You'd just let me nap in the break room?"

"Unless you're in the middle of dealing with customers, yeah!" Or ghosts, he added in his head, but she didn't need to know that was why he wanted her to keep the shift so badly. If she knew she was his only employee who could deal with ghosts, she might ask for a bigger pay raise then he could afford to give her. "I could also schedule myself for some of those shifts so you have a manager to pass off particularly unruly customers. I could only spare myself two days a week though, since I'm needed on the busier shifts but...."

"Hold on, let me get this straight," Valerie waved her hand and shook her head, processing everything he'd said. "If I stay on the swing shift, you'd be willing to A) let me just disappear in the middle of my shift for a while with no consequences, and B) give yourself more work just to make it easier on me? During the slowest shift of the day? What's the catch?"

"No catch," Michael insisted, his mind racing to come up with a reasonable sounding excuse that wasn't 'I need you to deal with the ghosts at night or this place will be destroyed in a week'. "We're just short-staffed right now, and I don't have anyone else who's available to work that shift. Besides uh..." he searched his mind for the name of the other guy on the swing shift, that greasy-haired stoner. "Uh... Jason! Jason really likes working with you. He told me you're his favorite coworker."

"Jason said that?" She echoed, clearly skeptical. "I didn't think Jason even knew my name."

"He doesn't need to know your name to like working with you," Michael insisted. "So, what do you say?"

"Well..." she pressed her lips together as she considered his offer. "I do need the money.... Alright, I accept. But if you get mad at me for napping during night shifts after this, even though you suggested it, I'm gonna have to stop taking 'em after all."

"Deal," Michael agreed. 

He only barely succeeded in holding back his sigh of relief until after she had left his office and closed the door behind her. Crisis averted. At least for now.

—

When he'd made the offer, Michael could never have expected how many times she would actually take advantage of it. On the days he assigned himself to the late shift, she disappeared at least three or four times a shift. He could only imagine how many times she ducked out when he wasn't there. She'd never struck him as the irresponsible type.... Maybe she really was just that sleepy.

Luckily, that red-clad ghost hunter with the hover board had been make more appearances lately, so the Nasty Burger wasn't entirely reliant on a single broke high school girl to protect it from the ghostly threat. That made him feel a little better. And Valerie was still there when a ghost did show up to bother them. And she still did an excellent job with her work when there weren't any ghosts, too.

Despite her regular vanishing acts, Michael decided that he didn't regret allowing them, and ultimately it had been a fair trade to keep Valerie on the most ghost-heavy shift of the day.

It was during one such shift that the Nasty Burger faced the most significant ghost attack Michael had every witnessed there.

It was a quarter to midnight, and a whole gang of ghostly hooligans, led by that dastardly menace on his motorcycle. From the way they were shouting, it seemed his girlfriend had broken up with him for the umpteenth time, and he was taking it out on poor, innocent Michael's place of business.

The three employees on duty, Valerie, Jason, and himself, were sitting on the tiled floor with their backs pressed against the check-out counter while the ruffians smashed windows and graffitied the outside of the building. 

"Oh heavens our insurance had better cover ghost vandalism," he muttered under his breath. 

"We have insurance?" Jason said dully, as spaced out as always.

"Oh." Michael stared blankly at the young man sitting next to him and silently accepted the inevitable. "We're gonna die." 

On the one hand, Valerie was still here, but what could she do against ghosts who actually had weapons? And on the other hand, Jason was here, and his very presence, Michael was certain, brought down the IQ of the entire street. They were doomed.

"We're gonna die?!" Jason repeated, alarmed by the discovery.

"Oh, don't be such babies?" Valerie hissed. "Jason, please tell me that's a knife in your pocket."

Michael gasped, scandalized. "Jason! Under these circumstances? What's wrong with you?"

Jason just blinked back at him confused, likely only hearing every other word and comprehending maybe half of those. 

Valerie rolled her eyes as she shoved her hand into Jason's front pocket without ceremony.

"Woah, gettin' a little personal there. I'm not into underage girls."

"Shut up!" she snapped, pulling her hand out to reveal a switch blade and a bic lighter to boot.

"Jason!" Michael admonished. "It's illegal to carry a concealed blade more than two and a half inches. You could be arrested for that."

"What, are you a cop?"

"Can it, both of you!" 

The two men snapped their mouths closed and watched a girl younger than both of them carefully scoot toward the edge of the counter, open the knife, and watch the chaos inside the restaurant reflected in it's blade, muttering something.

"There are four of them," she whispered. "Not ideal, but it could be worse." She slipped her hand into her own pocket and pulled out two silver discs, a little smaller than her palm. 

They looked familiar, but it took Michael a second to recognize them as the same as the one she'd pulled out to deal with the blob ghost in the soda fountain.

"What are those?"

"Mind your business," she snapped under her breath. "And keep quiet."

She went back to looking at the reflection in the knife, squinting to see the details. After a moment, she ducked back behind the counter and pulled the hair tie out of her ponytail.

"I need to get two more coins from my locker in the break room, so I'm gonna create a distraction," She told them, flicking the lighter and wrapping her hair tie over the button to keep it lit. "You two stay hidden and stay quiet. They can't hurt you if they can't find you. Got it?"

Michael nodded whilst Jason muttered, "I think so?"

"Good." With that, she slid the lit lighter across the restaurant floor and an instant later, with a loud fwoom and a burst of orange light, something caught.

Judging by the heat and the speed of the spread, one of the ghosts had been stomping on Nasty Sauce packets. That stuff was seriously flammable. And it would be a pain to clean up once this situation was dealt with—not that the spray paint and broken glass wouldn't be.

The distraction she'd created had been so distracting that Michael hadn't even noticed Valerie sneaking off into the break room for the... the whatever it was she needed out of her locker.

"Wait... did she just leave us here to die?" Jason droned out.

"Of course not. Valerie is actually reliable, unlike you." But once it was out there, Michael couldn't stop mulling over that possibility. Valerie was a good employee. He paid her 50 whole cents an hour above minimum wage. He let her take naps on the clock. He'd earned her loyalty. Surely she hadn't just abandoned them.... Right?

He heard the front door open and for a bare moment, he feared the worst.

"Hey! Spooks!"

He sighed with relief when Valerie's voice filled the room.

"Don't forget your change!"

A clattering sound like quarters hitting the floor rang out, then there were four distinct flashes of red light, then silence.

"You can come out now!" Valerie told them. "And grab a fire extinguisher while you're at it!"

Michael shot up off the floor at a speed that his middle-aged bones did not approve of, and snatched the nearest fire extinguisher to put out the Nasty Sauce blaze. When he finally got the chance to look around his store, it was obvious that it wasn't fit to do business for the time being.

He flipped the sign on the door to 'Closed' and told Valerie and Jason to mind the place while he went to pick up some lumber to board the broken windows.

The restaurant was closed for a whole week due to the ghost attack, and two people quit during the closure after finding out what happened and fearing for their lives if they kept working there. Thankfully, Valerie wasn't one of them (and, interestingly, neither was Jason—probably he'd been too stoned to even realize the danger). 

For her efforts stopping the ghosts, Michael named her employee of the month—a notable honor, since Nasty Burger had never previously appointed an employee of the month, and personally thanked her for saving the place from total ruin. Even though he'd still had to pay out the ass for the damages she hadn't been able to prevent, he knew it could have been much worse. 

And to think, his fellow managers had complained about him hiring yet another high schooler when he'd brought her on. There was a reason Michael was top dog around here, even though Jeanine had been vying for his position for half a decade. Would Jeanine have had the foresight to hire Valerie when they already had three other high school students on staff? Absolutely not. 

That was why he was the best head manager Nasty Burger had ever seen. You didn't get to hold that position for twenty years without developing a knack for knowing who to hire.

[icedragonlizard]

My favorite type of depiction for Magolor is when he's a complex guy that has some good traits but also has some clear flaws.

I've seen people lean too far on one side for him. I've seen people overly woobify him, excusing his actions and making him out to be a very good person, but I've also seen people depict him not learning anything from his mistakes and continue to make him a total bastard of a person.

I'm personally not a fan of going either of those routes.

The way I interpret Magolor is that he's... more on the morally grey side instead of being either truly good or bad. The way I see it, he's genuine about wanting to get better, being banished in Another Dimension was distressing for him and made him have regret over what he did, and he does actually care about Kirby and wants to have a sincere friendship with him now, but he's also still quite flawed to where it'd be a stretch to seriously call him a good person.

For me, he's kind of a little shit as he's still very mischievous at heart, and has no problem joining his best friend Marx in causing hijinks and pulling big pranks on people sometimes. He's also still not a very honest person, as he'll continue to tell lies sometimes, and he still very clearly has a big ego.

To be clear, on the lying part, my Magolor doesn't do it for evil or nefarious purposes anymore. More than anything, the reason he continues to tell lies is just to be silly. He likes messing with people and pulling people's leg. I don't interpret him being as dishonest as in RTDL, as he does also sometimes tell the truth and is working on his honesty, but there are still some lies coming out of this guy's mouth.

I imagine his continuation of having a big ego is easily displayed in his theme park, since his face is plastered all over it. He strikes me as still being pretty self-centered, but he does also have the capacity to care for others because he largely values having friendships with Kirby, Marx and the others of Wave 3. (Also technically the rest of the Dream Team, but I headcanon Meta Knight not being a fan of him)

And I'd like to say that all the Magoland masks can be considered... a bit morally ambiguous. Just to be clear, I think Magolor was entirely well-intentioned about the masks, as he just wanted to honor a bunch of people, but I also interpret that he made them without people's permission. One could easily say that he probably should've gotten permission from people before making the masks.

I've seen Magolor get demonized for the Old Friend mask and how that mask would upset Taranza, but I don't think Magolor had any intention of upsetting him with that. He just meant for it to be a nice gift for Taranza. But he also should've asked before doing it, LOL, and I imagine Taranza does have a moment of getting upset about it but eventually gets over it as he understands that Magolor meant well.

So yeah. I like complex Magolor. Earlier this week I've made posts about how I like to imagine Taranza and Susie being complex characters, and I feel the same way for Magolor as well.

They're some of Kirby's lunatic friends to me.

[creatingnikki]

What I've learned in 2023 (part I)

i. Compatibility is what you are looking for. A compatible home, a compatible partner, a compatible workplace, a compatible friend circle. Compatible with who you are as a person and the kind of life you want to live. Compatible so that you don’t constantly have to use so much of your energy in trying to fight unnecessary battles simply to exist how you are. When the spaces you are in and the people you are with are not compatible with your existence the way it is, the way you want it to be, there will be constant chaos, distress, and conflict for which you will have to use so much energy. But if you are in compatible spaces with compatible people – not ideal, not perfect, simply compatible – then you can use that energy towards creating and building things that matter to you. Because your everyday choices? They are not being questioned, judged, or blocked.

ii. Lessons will keep repeating themselves until you've learned them. So you have to start paying attention. Realizations in themselves are not lessons learned. Change in actions and thought processes is. So, yes, lessons will keep repeating themselves until you learn them. And even once you have learned them. It's like with how we learned the same subjects in school year after year. Just because you learned Geography in grade 5, does not mean you still did not have to in grades 6, 7, 8, and so on. Life lessons too have additional layers, context, and depth. It can all feel very Sisyphean. But the boulder is never the exact same twice. Similar but not identical.

iii. Just because he was a puppy before, does not mean he is not a कुत्ता (dog) right now.

iv. 인연 (in-yeon) is the fate specific to the meeting of two people, the ties two people share over the course of their lives. Someone you have perhaps comes across in your past life/lives in various capacities. And so, yes, when you come across someone you feel comfortable with, can have meaningful conversations with effortlessly, feel a ‘connection’ with, feel the 인연 with it feels special. But 인연 is also the fate of this life. Maybe in this life you’re only meant to share this very limited, very brief, 인연 with someone. Even if you feel this deep connection. Maybe in this life they are not meant to be your soulmate or your best friend. Maybe they are only meant to be your professor or your neighbour. Let it be so. Accept that fate, accept this life’s 인연 with them. No matter the intensity of the connection. Again, let things run their natural course. There is no other way.

v. I am an open book that even a blind man can read. An open book so heavily and aesthetically self-annotated that people can play me like a fool just for shits and giggles. And while I have started to appreciate humour a lot more in life, I am not okay with my candidness, earnestness, and vulnerability being mocked, manipulated, or misused. I am still not clear on how to protect myself in this aspect but I do know two things clearing — first, forcing myself to change who I am at my most authentic core is not the answer. Second, there, however, does need to be some protection. Think of yourself like a special edition, rare precious book in a fancy, restricted-access library. Only members, who loves books, who value books, who take great care of them, and have a track record of doing so can borrow the book/check it out of the library. Essentially, you must be more mindful of who gets access to you. And like you can continue being your real, authentic self, but you do not have to be that all the time and with everybody.

vi. Speaking about vulnerability, let's talk about the semantics of it for a bit. It's The word 'vulnerability' is derived from the Latin word 'vulnus' which literally means — the ability to wound. Why? Why would you do that with people you don't yet know well + trust to be safe? That's why one of the lessons of this year is the realization to get rid of this blanket vulnerability. It's not some sort of strength, it's simply dangerous.

vii. On that note, conversations, even emotional conversations cannot be an indicator of the actual real (lasting) comfort and intimacy and trust between you and the other person. That only happens naturally over time.

viii. So, yeah, timing and time? It is your friend; not a bitch. Allow people and things time to run their course and reveal themselves to you. There’s no need to feel anxious or responsible to make things with somebody flow a certain way because at the end of the day, no matter what you say or do, things will pan out the way they are meant to. So, trying to rush things, trying to lowkey orchestrate them, or putting so much thought into things like how you’re punctuating your texts is futile. What is meant to be is meant to be and feeling FOMO when it comes to people and relationships only really happens when you create elaborate scenarios in your head before even getting to know somebody.

ix. Capturing everything more in videos instead of pictures is precious. That motion of your friend kissing your cheek and that motion of the street cat moving her tale in and out of the sunshine falling on the ground is what you really want to capture and look back on.

[chalkrevelations]

There are things I say to my partner in the privacy of our living room when I’m blowing off steam that I would never in my life say to friends or other family members or bosses or work colleagues or fellow community members. I do this not because I’m two-faced but because I’m human. I get frustrated, but I’m also a grownup who realizes that my frustrations and fears in that moment are not the entirety of who I am. I have a right to express them, but I do not have the right to inflict them on the people who would be hurt by them. That’s why those conversations happen in private, in a safe space of trust, where my relationship allows me to show my partner parts of me that aren’t perfect and allows my partner to show me that I don’t have to be perfect in order to deserve to be cared about. I get support through my petty moments until I can be a better person.

This latest attack on Build is a horrifying violation of privacy and trust that leaves me feeling literally nauseated. I once again reiterate that I don’t trust third-hand amateur fan translation to be accurate and contextual, particularly given the provenance of the material, but Build himself is apparently distressed enough by at least some part of the material to make a public apology. So, that being out there, I will say: This was a private matter that should have stayed private, out of respect for everyone involved. Whatever was actually said is nobody’s business except Build’s and now, unfortunately, any named individuals who this was inflicted on and who may have been hurt by it. Which, rest assured, was the intention - to hurt not only Build with this, but also, particularly, Apo and Bible, both of whom Poi has shown her dislike of and ill-will toward in the past. I suspect some people also don’t know how abuse works, and it shows, given that what was purportedly said is a reflection of Poi’s own views back at her.

Whatever the context, I see that purity cancel culture still insists on freezing people in amber in their worst moments - without recognition of any capacity for change or growth - as long as it provides ammunition for a smug, gleeful Particicution. You’re stuck on some unkind things Build supposedly said more than a year ago? Let me tell you what I’ll remember for the rest of my life: The small, broken sound of Build’s voice just a few months ago as he tried to protect Bible and Bible’s career from a sociopath, in a telephone call that he felt he needed to secretly record as evidence of how he was being manipulated and abused.

Meanwhile, I see that swathes of KP fandom continue to be complicit in Poi’s campaign of public and dehumanizing abuse of him, which now includes not only borderline revenge porn, but separating him from his friends and isolating him. This is what abuse looks like. It’s happening in front of your eyes. Do you even care? Do you actually, legitimately care about abuse, or is it just a tool for you to use to win petty shipwars and make yourself feel righteous? Because here it is. Take a good look. This is a textbook play. And if you’re participating in reposting those screenshots of private conversations and mocking Build’s relationships and spreading vituperative language about him and acting like he deserves to have his life and career destroyed, you’re enabling an abuser. You are aiding and abetting her, as the very scenario she threatened him with - in order to maintain access to him, to keep him under control and compliant - continues to get spun out. YOU are a bully and a hypocrite and an abuser, helping to prove that the most dangerous time for an abuse victim is when they leave.

But I guess some victims do have to be perfect, huh?

.

(ETA: 7/18/23, 1520 - This post is being linked on Twitter by @cherryluminary with my permission. I'm not over there, but I increasingly feel like it's important to name what's happened, and continues to happen, to Build online as what it is - abuse. Similar to to my last post that breached containment, I'm going to ask people to remember that the behavior of Build's fans reflects on him - however fair that may or may not be - and should remain above reproach. I understand being angry - I'm angry, and at more people than I've discussed publicly, at this point. But if I find out you've been descending anywhere near the level of the ugly little sociopath in my inbox who openly admitted they want Build to kill himself, I'll block you.)

[ohanny]

so remember how i said i'd been having ideas about a pack orgy? well.

those ideas now under the cut:

(nothing graphic but subject matter by default is somewhat nsfw)

it all starts when jeff realizes his heat is coming and is miserable about it because a) he is jeff and b) it is a miserable experience. so to soothe his instincts thus also his stupid hormones and cramps, he orders alan to build them a big “nest” in the living room (covering the floor with mattresses, and pretty much every single pillow and blanket in the house) and invites over the entire pack so they can put on some studio ghibli movies, huddle close and jeff can feel comforted by the closeness of everyone he holds dear.

except jeff might have miscalculated his cycle and underestimated the effect having his entire pack so close might have on him. so barely two movies it becomes clear his heat is a lot less pre- and a lot more actually happening right now.

everyone is like “so uh, we should probably leave you two to it” but jeff who is pretty gone already, whines like a sad puppy. he needs his pack so why is his pack trying to abandon him? sensing his distress, alan is like “no, stay” and it’s not exactly an order but also kind of is because no one is allowed to make jeff sad. and it's not a big deal. because it’s pack. when your packmate is going through their heat or rut, you help out in whatever capacity you can. that’s just how it is.

so everyone is chill about the whole heat pheromone soup and whatever bodily reactions it might cause. they are fine more or less pretending to watch the movie while alan fucks and knots jeff right there in the middle of the nest. once jeff is stuffed full and calmed down, the fussing starts. as another omega, north would curl up as close to jeff as he could. kim would worry about water and snacks and “alan, you big oaf, don’t squeeze him so tight.” jeff would be high off the feeling of it, happily purring in alan’s arms and everyone would mirror his happiness.

well. not everyone. kenta - who babe invited and kim dragged over to “socialize” - is very much not okay. kenta is freaking out.

kenta’s experiences with pack dynamics have previously been limited to “do what father says to the best of your ability or else.” in tony’s mansion going through your cycles was seen as a huge inconvenience at best and something shameful at worst. pack was a matter of forced proximity versus genuine bonding and if you got close to someone, it would be used against you. he might have tried his best with the children to offer them some kind of security but after pete left all those years ago, no one bothered to do the same for him.

also, much to his horror kenta is hard. and he’s disgusted with himself because he's in a room full of people, it's because of the pack leader’s omega and on top of all that, jeff is someone he considers to be his brother. one of those things would be enough but all three? he is totally spiraling into shame and self-hatred, inching back until he’s about to fall off the mattress, stiff and scared.

in short, he is totally bringing the vibes down, the stench of his panic spiking when he makes accidental eye contact with alan who has been looking at him. alan sighs and kenta is pretty sure this is going to be it, tensing up even more in preparation of what's to come. instead of casting him out, alan utters out a very pointed “kim” shooting a significant look in kenta’s direction and kim looks over his shoulder and goes “oh shit, on it” and means it quite literally.

because he turns around, grabs and physically pulls kenta back in and then crawls on top of him, murmuring “it’s okay, feel that?” and takes kenta’s hand, guiding it between his own legs where he is also achingly hard. “see? me too. you’re good,” he tells kenta and noses around his neck, breathing him in, “you’re really good. just relax and let me take care of you, okay?” and how could kenta say no to that? being caged in like this by kim’s everything is turning his brain to mush. when kim presses down, he arches up and oh, fuck.

for a split second he forgets where he is but then babe - who is totally being the little spoon, all wrapped up in charlie as if he was the one in heat here because of course - stretches out a hand so he can scratch the top of kenta’s head and say he’s being silly, “this is pack.”

and north will take a brief break from jeff to ninja roll to rub his cheek on kenta’s shoulder, scent marking him, and then sonic will snort and just chomp on kenta’s bicep because he totally looks like a biter and kim will playfully growl at him in a “hey, no biting what’s mine” and swat sonic’s head to which sonic will respond by snapping his teeth at kim’s fingers. north would kick sonic’s shin and tell him to “stop biting other people’s people” and sonic would fling himself at north, the two of them getting tangled up and alan’s reflexes being the only thing saving jeff from accidentally getting elbowed in the face.

that will obviously jostle the knot still connecting them and jeff will whine, grinding back in a renewed surge of sheer need and alan lives to please. and let's not pretend gremlin charlie would not take advantage of all the fertile omega pheromones mixing with babe’s own scent to go full “is mama that desperate to be bred?” on babe. and if the whole mess of kenta, kim, north and sonic gets even messier and more tangled up as the night progresses, oh well. kim is horny and kenta clearly needs way more babying than jeff does. pack is pack after all.

[moontyger]

But whatever questions remain about the specifics of Andy’s care and disappearance, a few things are clear: Andy needed inpatient psychiatric care that day. He didn’t get it. And that was hardly an unusual occurrence.

Every day, all over America, people in psychiatric distress sit inside emergency departments — not just for hours, but frequently for days and sometimes for weeks. It’s happening in Massachusetts and Minnesota, Tennessee and Colorado, North Carolina and Iowa. The health care industry calls this “boarding,” and roughly 80% of hospitals regularly board psychiatric patients, according to survey data from the American College of Emergency Physicians. “This is not a one-off. This is not a situation where some areas are just greatly impacted and others are not,” the organization’s president, Aisha Terry, told me recently.

“I would actually refer to this as a public health emergency,” she said.

The proximate cause for all of these psychiatric patients in emergency departments is a relative dearth of available beds. But that shortage is really just the most visible symptom of a bigger, more fundamental problem: a failure to treat serious mental illness at earlier stages and a failure to surround the mentally ill with appropriate support. In other words, the reason ERs are packed with patients in psychiatric distress isn’t just that there are too few places to send them. It’s also that so many are arriving in the first place.

This is in some respects an old story. Mental health has never gotten the kind of attention, sympathy or resources that physical health does. But this familiar tale has a new, infuriating twist: The ability to recognize and treat psychiatric illness is better than ever.

Modern medications are more effective at controlling symptoms and less likely to produce side effects. Newer strategies, including assistance finding employment and housing, hold the promise of allowing people with serious mental illness to engage in society more fully. And if these strategies don’t work for everyone — serious mental illness remains, in so many ways, the most difficult disease for science to tackle — treatment has come a long way since the days when standard regimen included lobotomies, removing organs or locking patients in asylums.

But to benefit from modern psychiatric care, people need to get it. For millions, that doesn’t happen on a regular basis, if it happens at all. Calculations from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration suggest that about 1 in 3 Americans with serious mood or anxiety disorders don’t get treatment. While sometimes it’s because they don’t have insurance — another familiar, if uniquely American, story — other times it’s because they simply can’t find providers, facilities or programs with the capacity to handle them.

The effects reverberate through society in ways that can be measured with aggregate statistics, like the number of people living on the streets or the amount of money funding jails that have become de facto asylums. But the impact is probably most vivid in the individual lives it affects.

There are the high-profile stories of catastrophe, including deadly encounters with police, violent crimes and suicides. There are many more instances when people with untreated mental illness are simply unable to function or to participate fully in everyday life.

And then there are the stories like Andy Neiman’s.

[mothwingwritings]

F for Jack Hanma (▰˘◡˘▰)

Hell yeah, here I come with the Jack goods. (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

Warnings: Mentions of fighting/masturbation

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

It would get him very excited, for multiple reasons. 

First and foremost it pleases him because it shows that you have some manner of self-preservation, and that puts him at ease. You are such a small helpless thing compared to a man like Jack, and he worries that (god forbid) if you were to get separated from him and someone were to get ahold of you, you could easily get very hurt. Knowing that you have at least some knowledge of basic self-defense lets him breathe. You may not be able to put a dent in Jack himself, but you can potentially stun a random Joe off the street enough to escape to safety should the need arise, and that knowledge brings him comfort.

He also thinks it’s kinda fun when you fight back. Jack’s thirst for strength was originally born from a desire for revenge-both against the man who assaulted his mother, and against the life that cursed him with such a weak and fragile body. What he once strived for as a means of retribution quickly took over most of his life, making him the man he is now.  He no longer seeks strength as just a means to contest his fate, but because he wants to. He loves to fight, the thrill of taking down an opponent one of the only things that truly gets his blood pumping. You have no hope of hurting Jack in any capacity, but he thinks it’s endearing that you try. He does his best to hide how much it pleases him when you lash out, not wanting you to be offended by how cute he finds it. He knows you are attacking him because you are truly angry, and that to you this is all very serious. But honestly, it’s like a bear versus a field mouse. How can he not find the attempt adorable?

He also won’t deny that he finds it sexy as fuck. That feral look in your eye when you go to lunge at him just does something to him. Again, he doesn’t want to make light of your feelings of rage but… Goddamn. When you look at him with that the all-consuming fury reflected in your eyes, labored breathing, a thin layer of sweat covering your heaving chest from all the exertion…  Can you blame him for getting hard? He definitely uses it as masturbation fodder if he can’t have you in person.

So overall Jack likes it when you put up some resistance, but it does make him feel a little bad how easy it is for him to overtake you. He can tell how hard you are trying, and even though your loss is inevitable, he knows how bitter defeat tastes. He may try and humor you every now and again and let you land a solid hit, but he’s no good at acting and his pain threshold is so fucked at this point he knows he won’t be able to convince you that you ‘hurt’ him. It worries him, because he knows seeing just how little damage your blow causes will probably make you more distressed than anything, and he doesn’t really want to stress you out more than necessary. But you’ll get over it. You don’t really have any other choice.

[cuddlesomeone]

I'm wanting to write for Raditz but I've never done it before. Do you have any tips/tricks? I'm having trouble with deciding how to write him. I know people have their different interpretations

i'm going to lay out my own interpretation and hope it can help guide how you present him first then do some more concise restatement of tips and tricks based on that--

raditz is compensating for being the weakest of the saiyan trio by acting untouchable. classic "i feel like the worst so i act like i'm the best" behavior.

this can be reflected in everything from his loud, over-the-top personality to the unnecessary cruelty he uses to establish dominance (killing the farmer who posed no threat, picking a fight with piccolo for no reason, flexing on piccolo and goku instead of just beating them). he's a victim-bully through and through.

he’s awful to goku and gohan, but there’s a flicker of something deeper. he patiently explains goku’s origins, doesn’t attack gohan until provoked, and seems genuinely distressed about goku’s lost tail and brain damage. he’s brutal, but those moments hint at a capacity for something more if he wasn’t so consumed by saiyan pride

raditz views earthlings as pests, an inferior race he has no problem wiping out. he’s spent his whole life murdering innocents—he’s not just an insecure bully, he’s also a ruthless killer

raditz is so sure vegeta and nappa are going to revive him, smiling to the very end. he is SO deluded in his evaluation of his own importance. they couldn't care less and that blind faith in his place among them is tragically misplaced. even his death is reflective of his fatal flaw: he could have won if he took the fight seriously from the start, but his need to show off got him killed.

raditz is big. he’s physically intimidating and his hair adds to that. his voice in the dub is big, too--scratchy, loud, and smug punctuated with a grating laugh. he LOVES to hear himself talk.

he’s had a lifetime of rough conditions that shaped him into a monster. the potential for good is there (he’s goku’s brother and gine's son, after all), but he’s not flipping a switch overnight. any growth is going to come with layers of brash cruelty, self-sabotage, and pride getting in the way.

some little side notes--

he has got to have some hangups related to his tail since he still has it as a weak point while nappa and vegeta do not

his hair is probably a point of pride for him because why the heck else would you not cut that mess, there's no way it's practical

final fanon-y note: raditz’s confidence probably extends to his romantic/sexual life—he’d be cocky there too, at least on the surface

to semi-concisely restate all of that as advice for writing him

emphasize insecurity masked by bravado

he is capable of both disturbing brutality and reckless overconfidence

his family ties are an interesting source of conflict and potential growth

bear in mind his physical presence, voice, and larger-than-life personality

hope that helps, thanks for asking!!!!!!!!!!

[localwhiskeyuncle]

Ok I finished Vita Nuova yesterday and have sat with my thoughts for a bit so here are my rambles…

I really enjoyed it; it was part diary, part explanation of his verse divided up by his intention, and the poetry itself. It felt very intimate, if not a bit exaggerated (as I’m learning, Dante tends to have a flair for the dramatic). He really did not hesitate in writing down his every emotion, no matter how embarrassing, and he’s such a visual writer—as always, he had a lot of really beautiful, visceral metaphors. I loved that he broke down his intention behind each section of his work—without his commentary, I don’t think I would have fully grasped the theological connections he made about Beatrice. Overall really thorough work with lots of pretty and sad verse/prose.

Dante seemed to weep constantly from the ages of like 18 to 27 (?). I’m not kidding when I say a very large majority of these sections have something that mentions how much he was crying. He seemed to be highly overwhelmed or deeply distraught throughout most of his 20s. Being a sensitive boy is a blessing and a curse—he saw the innate beauty in almost everything, even death, but it seemed to take an incredible emotional toll on him.

Speaking of Dante’s emotional state—the diary-like portions often came off as very kafkaesque to me, not in an absurdist sense, but more like Kafka’s diaries. Both of them had a habit of manufacturing their own misery to wallow in (relatable). A lot of Dante’s distress in the first like 2/3 came from some random thing he thought up and then became upset about.

I feel like Dante had to fucking hate his wife??? He married Gemma Donati in 1285. He did not write one single word about her. In anything. Loverboy has no words for his fucking wife. He wrote every single emotion he possibly could about Beatrice and even canonised her before her death; he went on and on about how she was a divine and holy being, literally the most perfect person to ever exist…and not one single word in any of his works for his actual wife???? It’s not like he doesn’t have other passages about other women—Dante writes about several other women in Vita Nuova. I’m struggling to find much of anything on Gemma (especially in English and my Italian is pretty weak), but it seems it was a socially motivated marriage that was decided upon when Dante was like 11, to be of benefit to his family. Obviously, she was not his actual love, but it really seems like he didn’t even like her. Beatrice didn’t die until 1290, so Dante cried all about town over this woman while having a wife at home for 5 years. And then after Beatrice died, he basically cried for another 2 years straight and wrote several poems about how he wanted to die sooo bad, and the second he started getting over his grief he became so guilty about not crying about Beatrice 24/7 anymore that he forces himself to cry about her 24/7 again. So this is probably like 7 years into marriage now. And I guess when Dante was exiled, she and their children did not join him and they likely never saw each other again after like 1302. There’s some debate between commentators on if their marriage was a happy one, but I genuinely don’t see how it could be when the Ultimate Simp didn’t even commemorate her with one single sonnet (and those are short).

This book was dedicated to his bestie Guido Cavalcanti?? Not Beatrice. Guido. Perhaps because it was Guido that encouraged him to write in the vernacular (at the time poetry was exclusively written in Latin, writing in the vernacular was still rather new), but also perhaps because they are prime historical toxic yaoi (they went from love poet besties, to having different political and philosophical alignments, to Guiding DYING because of some political bullshit he and Dante were involved in, to Dante shading Guido’s capacity for self criticism in Inferno… the true catalyst of their falling out seems rather unknown? But there was Something going on there, man, I swear). (I’ve yet to read much of Guido’s work, but I own a copy of his complete works and plan to read it in full after I’m done with Dante.)

Here’s a breakdown of the next 2/3 of Vita Nuova:

I already mentioned his Top Pathetic Yearning Moments from the first 1/3 of the book here [x] and here [x]

I loved this snippet at the end of one of his dissections of a piece:

“I wouldn’t mind if those lacking the insight to understand it at this point left off trying, for I fear that the divisions already made have discussed its meaning to too many people, should they happen to hear them.”

He’s like "The girls that get it, get it and the girls that don’t, don’t. I’m shy now. Go away."

It goes crazy hard to say your girl is so perfect that even Paradise is flawed without her presence:

“Now Heaven, perfect but for one detail— / it lacks my lady—begs the Lord for her, / and every saint cries out for the same favour.”

I mentioned Beatrice’s dad dying in one of the previous posts, but here’s a little bit of his prose from that section, starting just as the ladies are leaving Beatrice’s house and talking about her grief:

“They continued on their way, leaving me with such sorrow that my cheeks were wet with tears, and I kept covering my eyes with my hands. And had I not hoped to hear more of her, standing there where most of the ladies who had been to see her passed by, I would have hidden myself as soon as those tears began to assail me. So I stayed where I was. More ladies passed by, talking among themselves and saying: “How can any of us ever be happy again, having heard her speak so piteously?” More ladies followed, saying: “This man is weeping as if he, like us, had seen her.” And still others: “Look at him, he’s so changed he hardly seems himself!” These were the sorts of things I heard about my lady and myself as they passed by.”

Like bro why are you standing in the street crying and eavesdropping like that?? He was literally friends with at least one of Beatrice’s brothers (as evidenced later in the book when he asked for a poem from Dante after her passing) he could have gone to see that guy and been normal about it???

A few days after the crying-in-the-street-next-to-Beatrice’s-house episode, Dante gets super sick for about 9 days (whether it was actually 9 days or he just keeps using the number 9 to strengthen Beatrice’s connection to the number 9 is beyond me).

At the height of his fever, he starts to contemplate how fragile and short life is, even for a healthy man, and it hits him that one day Beatrice will die, too. He becomes inconsolable and starts to hallucinate visions of horrific faces telling him he will die. He finds himself transported to a dreary street on what seems to be Judgement Day (from my interpretation) and a friend informs him that Beatrice has died. He sees the angels escort her to Heaven singing Hosanna and truly believes she is dead.

Dante imagines her funeral, where he begins to plead with Death to take him, too. He begins to physically cry out to Death, sobbing incoherently, and the women (some relatives, others not) who were caring for him all freak the fuck out and think he’s dying and try to wake him up. As he wakes, he calls out Beatrice’s name, though he says his voice was "so broken with sobs" he doubts anyone could have deciphered it. Once he calms down, and realises it was all in his head, he tells the women the story (omitting Beatrice’s name, obviously) and writes a canzone about the vision and its emotional impact on him.

Some quotes from that experience/canzone:

“I called on Death, saying, “Sweetest Death, come to me, don’t be cruel, for you must now be kind, given where you’ve been! Now come to me, for I desire you so; my face already wears your colours, as you can see.”

And a verse about that vision:

“[I] said to Death, ‘I now hold you most dear, / since you must be a gracious, noble thing / for having lately dwelt inside my lady, / and thus must show me mercy, not disdain. / So eager am I to become your own, / I even bear your looks now, Death, it’s true. / My heart entreats you, come.’”

Then suddenly in the next one he’s like “this one is for Guido teehee” and it’s just a poem about how pretty Guido’s crush is??

Then later he’s pleading his case for why he’s writing in the vernacular (as I said earlier, it was still a novel thing to write poetry in anything other than Latin) and also why he’s taken artistic liberty in personifying Love. Basically, he’s like “look, if Latin poets can do it, so can vernacular poets, but only if they do it with good reason and can back up their core meaning if it were stripped down to its bare bones” (valid).

“[One] might object to my speaking of Love as if it were a thing in itself—not merely an intellectual substance, but also a corporeal one. This is undoubtedly false, for Love is not in itself a substance, but rather an accident in a substance.”

In that same section he’s the petty little bitch I know him to be (love him for it):

“And the reason some rather unpolished poets gained fame for knowing how to write is that they were practically the first to compose in Italian.”

Lmaoooo I love when he’s a hater. Then a few paragraphs later:

“And lest any unpolished person be emboldened by this, let me say that Latin poets did not speak in this way without good reason, so neither should those who write poetry in the vernacular. For it would be a great shame for such a poet to cloak things in figures of speech or rhetorical flourishes and then, when asked, not be able to strip his words of their ornament and reveal their true meaning. My first friend [best friend] and I know all too well about those who write such foolish verses.”

He’s like ‘yeah me and Guido are good at what we do and we gossip about the other guys’.

Beatrice dies in her mid-twenties. Though Dante wrote such a long piece after her imagined death, he cannot bring himself to write anything about her actual death or funeral. He later writes some pieces having to do with his grief and her status in Heaven, but he can’t write about the actual event.

There’s another shift in themes after her death and this is where he really hones in on Beatrice and the number 9.

This is the quickest breakdown I can do I think:

1.) They met at 9 and 18 (obvious how he connected 9 there)

2.) He finished Vita Nuova at 27 (another multiple of 9)

3.) The date/time of Beatrice’s death (June 8, 1290) corresponds to 9’s in the Arabian, Syrian, and Julian calendars.

Of the reasons why Beatrice is so aligned with the number 9:

1.) According to Ptolemy and Christian doctrine, there are 9 moving heavens that influence earth depending on their alignment, and so 9 “befriended her in order to show that, at her conception, all 9 moving parts were perfectly aligned.”

2.) Dante posits that Beatrice herself actually is the number 9:

3 is the square root of 9—the factor of miracles is 3 (Father, Son, Holy Ghost), so she was “befriended by the number 9 in order to show that she was, in fact, a 9; in other words, a miracle, the sole root of which is the miraculous Trinity.”

It’s a little convoluted and there’s a lot going on theologically, but yeah, sure, I see it. Beatrice is the number 9. I’m with you, buddy. It sure does pop up a lot around her (there are numerous events throughout that have something to do with the number 9, though it’s very possible some of those were embellishments to prove his point).

Here are some post-death quotes:

“Once she had departed from this world, the entire city was like a widow, stripped of all her dignity.”

In fact, he now changes the entire structure of his writing to make it feel more widowed.

“These eyes, which weep in pity for my heart, / have shed so many mournful, plaintive tears, / they ache with sorrow but can cry no more. / So now, should I desire to vent my grief, / which leads me ever steadily to death, / words must express what weeping would before.”

“And, speaking through my tears, I shall impart / how she rose up to heaven suddenly, / and left Love here below, to mourn with me.”

“And often, while I’m contemplating death, / so pleasing a desire sweeps over me, / my colour drains at leaving life behind. / And when the vision in my mind takes hold, / then agonies assault me from all sides / so that I can only shudder from the pain; / and I feel so ashamed / that, shunning company, I hide / myself, and then, while weeping all alone, / I call to Beatrice: “Can you be dead?” / And as I call to her, I’m comforted.”

“When I’m alone, my heart is near consumed / with weeping grief and anguished sighs of pain, / distressing anyone who’d overhear; / no tongue could tell just what my life has been / since the day dear Beatrice assumed / a new, celestial life beyond this earth.”

“This bitter life, which has been much debased, / afflicts me so severely / that when they see my pallid, deathlike face, / people seem to say, “I now forsake / this man.” But she can see what I would be, / and still I hope she grants me clemency.”

“The mourning in my melancholy mind / converges in my heart, / so that I ask my soul, “Why don’t you leave? / For all the tortures you’ll be made to bear / in life, insufferable enough of present, / make me grow pensive with a deep foreboding.” / And so I call on Death, / inviting that most peaceful, sweet repose; / “Now come to me,” I say with so much love / that I begrudge anyone who dies.”

“The sound of pity echoes in my heart / and gathers in my sighs, / which then call out unceasingly to Death, / to whom all my desires have turned to since that / momentous day when he / drew near my lady with his cruelty…”

A little over a year after Beatrice’s passing, Dante becomes enamoured with a woman in a window who looks at his pained face with such pity he can’t help but start to love her for it (he later states she was an allegory for Philosophy, but here he treats her as a real woman).

He starts to overcome his grief and stop crying and moping around alone so much, but he quickly becomes super guilty for “forgetting” Beatrice. He repents his desire for Window Lady and vows to think only of Beatrice. This is where he convinces himself to weep for her all the time again—he says he starts crying so much his eyes are always raw. To “prove the evil desire and vain temptation had been destroyed”, he writes a new sonnet basically swearing off women.

“My heart began painfully to repent of the desire it had so basely allowed to possess it for several days, against the constancy of reason. And as soon as I cast out this wicked desire, all my thoughts returned to the most gracious Beatrice. I can say that from then on, I began to think of her with all my ashamed and contrite heart.”

“My rekindled sighs would revive my waning tears such that my two eyes seemed to have but one desire: to weep. And with their ceaseless weeping, rings of reddish purple—the colour that usually signals great suffering—would form around them. Clearly, they were justly rewarded for their vain inconstancy, for from that moment on, they could not gaze at anyone who looked at them with the same intent.”

“And oftentimes [my eyes] weep so much that Love / encircles them with martyr’s crimson crowns.”

At this point he has a vision he does not elaborate on and says he will write no more of Beatrice until he can do so worthily, foreshadowing The Divine Comedy, which he did not start until approximately 15 years later.

Anyway, he’s my favourite pathetic lil guy. He feels everything so deeply it affects him physically and he’s able to describe those feelings in ways I’ve never seen anyone else do. He can paint a picture with two sentences, and I can vibrantly see exactly what he means. I already knew how much I loved him from Inferno, but I almost enjoyed this more because of the little chunks of prose.

I am very, very glad I read this before getting too deep into Purgatario because I just know the emotional arc as he reaches closer to the peak of the mountain is going to hit so much harder knowing how much he probably aches to see her again, how much reverence he holds for her. It was a very short read, less than 100 pages (mine was a little over 180 pages, but it’s a dual language parallel text version). I’d highly recommend it if you like poetry or even just emotional love stories.

[resquices-of-godhood]

Grandparent Sham-sham, AKA They of Might

Shamura: They of might, Eldest Sibling, Fell to mistakes most unwise. Shamura is absolutely giant, towering over all other followers, though they are quite thin, specially for a former god of War. They are a purple spider and have a second pair of arms sprouting from the middle of their chest, as well as a pair of regular eyes surrounded by six smaller ones, three on each side. Like other spider followers, they have small spider legs sprouting from the sides of their skull. Though their brain is no longer exposed after indoctrination, they have a nasty wound (later scarred closed) on the top of their head, a remnant of Narinder fighting back.

They used to adopt siblings during the god wars like a 10 year old collects Pokémon.

Shamura has the hardest time of all siblings in adapting to mortal life again. Not only did they have to spend some time in the stocks being reeducated because they immediately dissented in their confusion, their mental capacity waxes and wanes because of the brain damage they suffered, causing them to have severe difficulties in the most basic of tasks at times. They don't conform to masculine or feminine dress styles, instead preferring a mix of both, but mostly sticking with comfortable robes.

When lucid, they spend their time in the cult's library, where they help teach and tell stories to babies conceived within the cult. Some even started calling them grandparent Sham-sham. This helps fill up the void left from no longer having to care for their siblings. On their off-time, they like to weave spider silk into clothings or art pieces. When lucid, they also work as advisor to Leoda, hoping to help them avoid the mistakes they did in their life as the Bishop of War.

Shamura accompanies both Leoda and Gayne to Silk Cradle, where they share their regrets to the two, mentioning how things went down, and how they regretted jumping the gun the way they did. After returning, they aren't as lucid as when in their temple, their mind unable to hold coherence for too long. That's when Narinder approaches them to talk. It's a very emotionally charged encounter for the former god of Death, to see his beloved elder sibling in such a state due to his own actions. Eventually, it's too much for Narinder, and he starts apologizing to Shamura over his perceived faults that resulted in the current situation. Seeing their little kit in such a distress tore the former god of War's heart, so much so that it gave them just another moment of lucidity, just enough to be able to comfort their beloved brother and to take accountability for their own faults. They are the reason everything went the way they did, not Narinder. It was their decisions, based on emotions only, that messed things up. After calming him down, they both depart to rejoin the cult while their lucidity still lasts.

Shamura has retained their ability to cast curses without a crown, but they can't hold as much fervor as when they were a Bishop. At most, they can cast a single curse before having to find a source of fervor to recharge.

They have a somewhat distant relationship with their disciples and witness at first, given their mind was anything but stable. As they started getting more stable, the four started helping Gayne to care for the former Bishop.

Shamura is the other Bishop Gayne interacts with. Despite everything their Shamura did, they are still devoted to They of Might, specially this version, who is kinder and more honest. There's genuine appreciation for the care, and while the general of the god wars, who would take every opportunity to get an advantage, still lies bellow the surface, they know this is not the time or place for such mentality. Because of all that, Gayne is the main caretaker of the former god of War. At the same time, Shamura helps ground Gayne whenever they are using Future Knowledge, which is panic inducing to them, specially when a new vision manifests.

Shamura's crown was the Purple Crown, which lords over the domains of Knowledge (wisdom) and War (strategy). It acts like a general that's bent on preserving knowledge, and influences its bearer in the same way. Its abilities, and Shamura's Resquices of Godhood are Future Knowledge and Grand Strategy. The former gives the gift of prophetic visions to the bearer, where the first time a prophecy manifest is outside of their control, but from then on can be reviewed at will by focusing on them. As a resquice, new prophecies don't come as often. The later allows the bearer to make calculations and plot strategies in their mind much faster than anyone else, allowing them to see entire wars worth of simulated scenarios in the span of minutes. It is significantly slower and less efficient without a crown, however.

[nothoughts-onlywomen]

random duos wishlist for s5

obvs elmax, rovickie, stobin, and lumax go without saying. those are REQUIREMENTS for s5

madwheeler - truthfully it would be cool to see their friendship kind of come full circle. or at the very least mike should do/say something that signifies that he truly cares for her now.

madwise - honestly the most underutilized dynamic. both targeted by vecna, both the quieter ones of the group, both sensitive (though i think max refuses to admit this about herself).

el/lucas - by some of the leaks' accounts (taken with a grain of salt), el and lucas should have some good scenes together this season. and that would be a poetic full circle moment since he started off hating her and thinking she was a freak, to her then becoming one of the most important people in his life. and they bond over almost losing max, and fighting to get her back.

nancy/lucas - i think this has been underexplored. they could relate over having a loved one who's been attacked by vecna.

robin/will - i mean they're the only two gay characters. there has to be at least ONE scene between them (though if the leaks i've read are right it looks like that may happen).

steve/jonathan - by all accounts it looks like we might be getting some of this duo in s5. i'll be very interested to see how they handle it, especially since both of them love nancy.

ronance - OBVS. don't know if the duffers will go there but i'd love at least a spontaneous kiss in a death scene or something. if not that then there should be SOMETHING that signifies that their friendship has grown.

erica/lucas - now that erica is a bigger player in this game, i would love to see some sibling bonding. it would be cool if it was over max, especially. like erica says something snippy to comfort lucas over max being in her coma.

dustin/lucas - i know we're going to get scenes of the OG four boys but i think this would be a nice callback to s1/s2.

nancy/mike - another nice callback to s1. she mentioned that her vecna visions involved mike getting hurt and she was understandably distressed by this. it would be lovely to develop their sibling relationship to something more mature.

karen/literally any of the kids - i'm thrilled to hear karen wheeler is getting a bigger role this season. i've always really liked her, so i hope whatever they do with her gives her an opportunity to interact with some of our faves.

hopper/el - another obvious one, but i think their found father/daughter relationship is one of the sweetest things in the show and i don't want it to get lost amid all the chaos.

joyce/jonathan - another essential callback to s1. their dynamic's been shelved for a minute so it would be great to bring it back.

dustin/steve - we have ALWAYS got to have this duo in some capacity, it's too damn fun. bonus if we get a scoops troop callback.

also max/consciousness would be nice too

[nikethestatue]

I consider myself to be pretty neutral about the ship war as I don't really care who ends up with who as long as the story is enjoyable. So I follow a lot of accounts from all sides, and I see decent points made by all of them.

But I find the ask about Mor and Gwyn's similarities to be interesting. I think the ask was mainly about how you have several times claimed that Az finds Gwyn annoying and so pointing out that Az doesn't find Mor annoying.

Because Azriel reacts to Gwyn similarly as he does to Mor, indeed. It's usually mild, tortured annoyance which he tries to hide.

That might be your own interpretation, but as I've read sf, I don't find anything that can back up your statement.

He doesn't find any of these three women annoying. He's seen looking at Gwyn with admiration and thinks in his own pov that she has a charm to her. If they don't turn out to be lovers or mates, then I believe that they could be good friends.

Gwyn aside however, I find more similarities between Elain and Mor than Gwyn and Mor in regards to Az.

The first one is how he feels unworthy around both of them. His insecurities about his hands also comes into play when he is around them.

The shadows also has similar reactions around both Elain and Mor. They vanish most of the time or keeps their distance. Though I'm not sure if this is a bad thing.

Again, I don't care who ends up with, but I sometimes reads stuff (from all sides of the fandom) and shake my head as I find a lot of it to be wishful thinking. Az finding Gwyn annoying is not at all canon and I just think stuff like that is weird to spread just to uplift your own ship when it's not even true. Az doesn't need to find Gwyn annoying in order for elriel to happen.

No, Azriel had reacted a number of times with either annoyance or even hostility at Mor. It was either direct, or through someone's mentions or observations. It took Mor hundreds of years to CONVINCE him to go to Rita's (clearly something he didn't want to do, but felt pressured to). He finds her gifts pointless, aka, a bunch of daggers that she's given him over the years. He finds her displays with Cassian distasteful, and he literally left when she went off with Helion. 'Not my call to make'--he went against Mor, with Rhys and while knowing how distressful the situation might be for her, he didn't care. He was clearly hurt when she withdrew her hand from his own 'as if it burned her'.

I think there are a lot of complex feelings in how he views Mor and what his reactions to her are, but it's absurd to assume that isn't hurt or even disgusted by how she's treated him over the years. His reaction to her walking away was 'I will not bother her anymore. I live in the same space and serve in the same Court. I will remain here, but I will make every effort not to pressure her into anything'. Her reaction was to flaunt her affairs with other men, use his brother as a 'buffer' against him, generally point out to him how unattainable she is.

I do think that there is a comfort level between him and Mor, the same as he has with Cassian--the shadows always disappear with Mor, but they also disappear with Cassian. And of course, Elain.

As for her doesn't find any of these women annoying, again, I would disagree. I don't know if he finds them annoying as people, but he clearly stated that he would've preferred not to deal with Gwyn when he came up on her on the roof. 'It was too late to (leave)' and 'he didn't feel like explaining or demonstrating' and he needed to 'appear' polite.

I think he finds Gwyn amusing, but he doesn't seek her out in any capacity. She might be endearing in some way to him, but he doesn't treat her with any degree of closeness.

I think the feelings for Mor are complex, but border on resentful and annoyed, rather than loving.

Feelings for Elain are a whole different ballgame.