#{ you may perceive me this time }
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Twitter really liked this one so u guys get it too (with additional context from Twitter in the frame
#pachidraws#library of ruina#angela lor#roland lor#the comments on this were good. here’s some highlights#‘does Angela still perceive time at .01x speed so she’s been staring at Roland’s chest for what’s hours for her#she has the stares at you (not rude just curious and interested) autism#the people were very nice to me with this little self indulgent hc:)#pachiposting#I haven’t been remembering to put my images over here lately so there may be some in the coming days#i read a lot into angela as having body dysmorphia/dysphoria#and if u want u can read her becoming human as transitioning. top surgery might fix her
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The tme/tma binary is problematic because bioessentialism and gender essentialism is problematic.
The bioessentialism in its use includes assuming that everyone born with a vulva cannot experience transmisogyny in a meaningful way despite being presented with evidence otherwise. Sure it’s not all in the same way, not all trans women and transfems amab have all the same experiences either, but they can always specify something like “hey I’m an intersex trans woman who was afab but raised as a guy.”
The gender essentialism in its use includes assuming that everyone who identifies as a man cannot experience transmisogyny in a meaningful way despite being presented with evidence otherwise. Drag queens don’t get systemically targeted by transmisogyny even when there is legislation targeting their right to be in children’s and public spaces when they identify as men (cis or trans)? Are you certain? Because I’m not a drag queen and I’m not certain of that, so I can ask drag queens about it instead of assuming what their experiences are.
Julia Serano’s criticism of the tme/tma binary is that it’s use can consist of “boiling down people’s complex experiences with different types of sexism into ‘some people are privileged and some people are marginalized,’” and that’s my issue with it too.
#if someone calls themselves tma & specify something like#‘I’m a cis man but I’m consistently perceived like a trans woman & experience prejudice and discrimination as a result’#am I really qualified as someone who hasn’t lived that person’s life to say otherwise?#if someone calls themselves tma but when asked how so they say something like#‘oh I may be a cis man but one time I wore a dress & got mistaken for a trans woman & someone called me the T-slur :(‘#‘I don’t wear dresses a lot & it hasn’t happened since but I like the way tma sounds so I wanna use it’#most people would probably say. you don’t generally experience transmisogyny in that case so I’d rather#you stay out of the center of transmisogyny discussions bc they’re not about you & that’s what tma is intended for#again the transfems I know don’t think tma is a useful term either but I wanna address them respectfully#transmisogyny#tme/tma binary#mine#long post#intracommunity issues tag
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does anyone want to join me on the aventurine/argenti train. it's got all the perks of being as funny as any other argenti ship - especially given the random absurdity of their first meeting. what the hell was argenti doing in the depths of the nihility? who even knows anymore man. but like also i think it has the potential to be really sweet?
aventurine hasn't let anyone In since his sister died. he's long since forgotten how to Trust, and Love, and how to BE Loved. and this, combined with enormous amounts of survivor's guilt and trauma and being treated as an object, has really done a number on his self-esteem. he doesn't act like it (because he's learned that it's dangerous to be vulnerable; it's the one gamble he's not willing to take), but 2.1 gave us that glimpse into his inner dialogue and it is Bad in there
between his conversation with acheron, the note veritas left for him, and finding a sense of closure in the apparition of his younger self, he's on track to becoming better. we can see it in the way he pretty much immediately reaches out to the trailblazer to get some things off his chest once he gets his phone working again. and the way he's accepting what is basically a form of therapy from the doctors of chaos. but his self-hatred has been building up for years, and it's going to take a long time to unpack and unlearn all of that
so like, in comes argenti, right? he's a loud show-off, but he is SO earnest. he sees the beauty in everything and everyone. he's kind, and gentle, and so full of love. he also comes off as a bit... lonely to me? he's spent so much of his life chasing after idrila's shadow, and only catching a glimpse of them in his many near-death experiences (and isn't that something to think about...........). he's not like, secretly miserable or faking or anything - i think his exuberance is 1000% genuine. but humans are social creatures; everyone wants and requires at least some form of closeness and intimacy. to have a love to pursue in This realm... someone he can see and hold without needing to have one foot in an early grave . i think that would be good for him. that's all
anyway, it's clear that argenti was pretty enchanted by aventurine
like yeah that's kind of just how he talks normally but !?@,%&#& that's a lot of awfully romantic things to say about one specific person out of the several you apparently rescued (??????? god i love this guy he makes no sense. literally why are you even here bud). it seems that aventurine's more subdued state left an impression on him too, and well wouldn't it be pretty in character for him to start popping in randomly... as he does, because he can apparently just go wherever the fuck he wants. to check on this sad yet oh so beautiful peacock.. to try to bring a true smile to his face... to show him how kind and beautiful the universe can be......
i think aventurine might have a hard time laughing off offers of comfort and company and the beginnings of a courtship if it comes from someone like argenti. this man couldn't be disingenuous if he tried. he doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve as much as he rips it out of his chest to show you. it'll be a learning curve regardless - aventurine is too used to needing to constantly prove his worth to keep anyone around and to keep them from hurting him
but do you see it. do you see the vision. do you see how Sweet this could be. aventurine is about to receive more roses than he'll know what to do with
#i spent enough time on this that i think i can...#honkai star rail#argenti#aventurine#aventi... argenturinenope i hate this one actually#avegenti. dude i don't know don't ask me i'm just the messenger#like can i just say that what most ratiorine shippers are trying to squeeze out of that would be better found Here.#i don't mind the ship as much as i used to. veritas is kinder than i gave him credit for. i can even enjoy it if done right#but like#? veritas may be kinder than i originally thought but he's not that kind.#he's harsh truths and tough love. he started to soften after aventurine's unexpected death sentence and he has the potential to soften more#but guys i don't think a ratiorine relationship that takes place so soon after the events of penacony or god forbid BEFORE-#is going to go that smoothly#veritas has his head pretty deep in his own ass. it's going to take him a bit to get that out#he's more likely to hurt aventurine and send him right back into his defensive shell than he is to actually help him along his recovery#and/or aventurine is likely to dismiss any of his attempts to be more forthcoming with his feelings because of his perceived dislike for hi#and just how their working relationship always was Before#if you want to talk about that and the messy struggle to be better for each other after they stomp all over the other's heart#i'm all ears man.#but if you want something that's softer from start to finish and not so stressful... listen to me. argenti and aventurine is where that's a#i think both options are appealing tbh? in their own ways
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I was busy within the hour this released. but I'm here now and. ... oh boy just bear with me
youtube
I'm gonna just... copy/paste my initial thoughts as I watched this, here, for the next couple lines:
Final Results:
Now listen to me, I need to scream into the void all my newfound realizations and woes but it's 1:30 in the morning and I need to wake up early the next day. So understand that I'm making this as short as gayly possible (it may not be short at all).
Aside from all the lesbian saxophone that my eyes just witnessed, which is a scream that will never make contact with any airwaves - digital or otherwise - ... The last two minutes of that trailer were entirely unexpected.
Now don't get me fucking wrong I wasn't NOT paying attention to the section of the teaser during the livestream that showed us a glimpse of Black Swan's fear and surprise drowning in that fiery background. but. ... bro— FUCKING COME ONNNN MAN!!
HOW FAST THE SCENE FLIPPED, HOW QUICKLY- WHATEVER THAT THING (IT DEFINITELY WASN'T THE ACHERON WE KNOW) WAS TOOK THE LEAD and LITERALLY tossed Black Swan around like a helpless bird. a PREDATOR chasing their PREY
AND THE PREY IS BLACK FUCKING SWAN???? THE FUCKING MEMOKEEPER FROM THE GARDEN OF RECOLLECTION?? THE MYSTERIOUS AND ELEGANT SOOTHSAYER???
To see Black Swan of ALL characters in this game so far be filled with such visceral fear and trepidation, to be tossed around at the MERCY of something that could have so EASILY killed her just like. t h a t. is beyond insane.
I expected it to be more of a "What terrible horrors have you commited?" 'Wow! Horrors that even Black Swan thinks is terrible, Acheron is capable of s-' no she literally almost killed her. She's not a human by the way. Black Swan is not a human being anymore she is like. coNdEnseD mEmORy AND SHE LITERALLY ALMOST DIED. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???
also, we love Allegra Clark in this house this woman is hilarious
#everything I've (HSR pfp obviously) said in these screenshots is completely /j but also I'm dead serious#holy shit#Honkai#Honkai: Star Rail#Honkai Star Rail#HSR#Black Swan when I catch you#you dastardly unapologetic lesbian#actually a fuck around -> find out moment#Allegra Clark the WOMAN THAT YOU ARE#the way you can see BS desperately try to fly away numerous times only for Acheron to drag her back and tear her to shreds more and more#ridiculous#utterly ridiculous#how did they do it#idk if y'all get it I really hold Black Swan to this imperceptible standard#like she really is a divine being (in my mind at least)#her ability to perceive the things that may very well happen in the near & distant future is a CRAZY thing#and it makes her seem so untouchable#so for them to take it to. THIS. extent I just.... I just could never have readied myself for it#Black Swan#Acheron#HSR Acheron#HSR Black Swan#Honkai Star Rail animated short#Rondo Across Countless Kalpas#I loved everything about the trailer btw#Youtube#blazingshitpost#blazingshitpost star rail edition#ALSO!! Arryn Zech’s voice is out to get me. CAN’T believe I nearly forgot to mention that
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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out
#zymart#zymtalk#rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st#the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL#i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board#bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route#and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week#then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly#in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized#after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly#SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it#oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi#i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie#[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now#idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim#but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it#anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶#you are not safe#edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j
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Martha Jones - Jesus Christ parallels (never thought i'd write a sentence like this)
there's the other one who has sent me
For I did not speak on my own, but the Father who sent me commanded me to say all that I have spoken. I know that his command leads to eternal life. So whatever I say is just what the Father has told me to say. (John 12:49-50)
Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life. (John 5:24)
I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me. (John 5:30b)
I have much to say in judgment of you. But he who sent me is trustworthy, and what I have heard from him I tell the world. They did not understand that he was telling them about his Father. So Jesus said, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am he and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me. The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him. (John 8:26-29)
[...] for I have come here from God. I have not come on my own; God sent me. (John 8:42b)
etc., and so on...
#all i could think of was that one poll - who suffered more?#and i'm not the biggest fan of seeing martha as some sort of messiah#i'm just kinda good at making references to bible during conversations as one may refer to songs. poems. other books or films#simm!master rewatch#and i guess they wanted to show us how alien to us are time lords; how powerful; (above?)#and the doctor's god-like descend powered by humanity?#he could kill. he could devastate. he could turn back time.#and he's chosen to forgive#weeell i guess both ten and martha are written as a saviour/messiah here#ok i should shut up#(but don't we sometimes need to project our culture and/or religion into a different form?)#(don't we long for some mighty being out there?)#(ok. i shut up.)#(and even you can perceive doctor as some sort of god (sometimes) he's not a good one)#(he's cruel and selfish and rude - and yes; trying the best he could to be good)#(but it's not he's basic attribute)#(i'm really shut rn)#martha jones#save my girl#the doctor#tenth doctor#doctor who#dw#the sound of drums#the last of the time lords#the girl who walked the earth#(why are there only 5 posts in this tag?)#for a mentally unstable asshole#it crashed multiple times#and now it tells me i cannot upload gif?
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Potentially controversial, but Damien’s a metalhead and I will not be convinced otherwise
#you may think this means I don’t agree with other headcanons about what he listens to#but in reality I think it makes pretty much every other headcanon about everything he listens to that much more likely#point me in the direction of a metalhead that doesn’t also listen to fuckin. Brittney Spears.#we listen to so many different things at all times#it’s great#and I think Damien’s like that 100%#also kind of adds to his complex about people perceiving him as someone who’s inherently violent when he’s not like that at all#redacted audio#redacted headcanons#redacted damien
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got the posting anxiety bad tonight
#click clack#ok a peak into my thought process and anxiety here we go#ok so the art is almost done and up to standard I would post onto my art blog#BUT for some reason the thought of posting art of my ocs there scares me#because even tho it’s my art blog in my mind it’s the equivalent to a art gallery that demands being detached????? from the art#like once I share it there it’s no longer ‘mine’ but to the public#and my ocs (plus the stories that go with them) are like the closest to my heart and relinquishing them feels like a lot#a part of my imagination that I spent so much time with developing over the years to be placed up for judgement…#so then the solution could be to put it here on my personal! the online space cozy enough and filled with other posts that could easily bury#the original posts I put here#but there goes my other dilemma. i don’t want them too associated with my personal for if one day i do muster up something for publication#my big fear is that ppl will find this space and go thru everything. the fear of being perceived and judged 😵💫#all the hypotheticals and anxiety for something that may not even happen#dumb mind problems my head made up ��#anyway writing it out helped lol I’m posting it to my art blog I decided 👍#I have to work on getting that blog to be comfortable space to post… i should lower that silly self imposed standard I set for myself#and be whatever about ppl being aware of my online presences#maybe… [grinding my teeth] I should post my messy sketches onto my art blog…#I should take my friends suggestion and make a website to feature my ocs…🤔#idk my only other solution that doesn’t feel viable to mitigate the anxiety is to slowly introduce my ocs in the background of setting art#just a slow drip until they are in the forefront#bleghhh whatever much ado about nothing it’s like I never posted my ocs ever when I have indeed posted them before on both places ( º_º )#I’m realizing it happens too when I post too much fanart in a row… I have curator disease??? 🫨#or something I used to be very particular about what order I reblog stuff like it used to be by color and content balanced out#I still do to a lesser degree… but it used to be pretty bad#post order compulsion????#the fear of being abrupt and incohesive in between posts…#if you read this far thanks you can now see how much this consumes me 🙃
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extremely important to me that my satyr is completely sweet and naive and gentle and innocent and is still a satyr who loves to drink and do drugs and have as much sex as possible, likewise extremely important to me that my goofy little kooky mad scientist archetype wizard with a silly voice and funny eccentricities is also unironically beautiful and desirable and capable of sincere attraction and love, extremely and equally important to me for different reasons that are the same reason
#feeling so normal about the way I'm perceived by others tonight lol lmao#I think about 'nott is child coded' shipping discourse all the fucking time#in some ways she seemed naive and childlike#and in other ways I think she was just A Weirdo in a way female characters often don't get to be#and from either angle the result is someone who makes people extremely uncomfortable to imagine as having a sex life or even a libido#as a grown woman who is in many ways both childlike and just unappealingly weird. I think about it a lot.#hey maybe people who seem soft and sweet and gentle are also fully realized people with thoughts and depth and life experiences#hey maybe people who seem weird in a way *you* find unattractive are also fully realized people with thoughts and depth and life experience#maybe when you in real life are the quirky and deeply unsexy weirdo side character of a person this all feels very personal to you#I know I've talked about this before and I'm sure I will again#I don't know how else to think about things except repeatedly and aloud#I don't know what else I can do about feeling like I don't get to be seen as a whole person except talk about it#... ironic as doing so through the lens of my fictional characters may be#I dunno. I dunno. I need to go to sleep#about me#my OCs#nyssa#melliwyk
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did you ever fall in love with the majesty of colors
every freaking day brother 🤝
#i love doing that thing where you flood your vision with a primary colour and exhaust the cells in your eyes that perceive it#and then when you look away for a little while afterwards you can't see that colour (or at least it's a lot more muted in comparison)#i mean it's kinda like giving yourself temporary colour blindness but i love messing with my perception of reality#gives me a better understanding and appreciation of the world outside of my own subjective experience#and in the case of the colour thing specifically it's like. when something's missing you appreciate it more#as well as noticing things you may not have before and gaining appreciation for them too#it's a very grounding experience imo. seeing the mundane again through almost literally a new set of eyes#even if it is through artificially limiting your senses for a time#i mean if a shrimp that sees 16 primary colours or something got limited to just what we see for a little bit#would it not be able to appreciate those last three primaries so much more?#would it not even more greatly appreciate the breadth of colours it sees normally?#i like this ask a lot actually fksjks ^^#askmuck
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Gosh yes, your tags on that last post. Like, I don’t blame people for liking Viren, for enjoying his character, for finding him sympathetic (or attractive, even if I personally don’t). He’s a compellingly written character! But don’t be offended if people hate him or find him evil… he’s the villain, that’s literally his role in the story
"How dare this villainous character do villainous things" / "how dare the protagonist get narratively rewarded for making good choices" like do y'all even hear yourselves sometimes, y'know?
especially when - and i cannot stress this enough - tdp is for children and will ultimately have a happy ending. this isn't a grown up drama or tragedy or even a grimdark fantasy by any means. it's a hopepunk high fantasy story. people who further retaliation and violence and push people into inherently defensive positions are the 'bad guys'
like i love viren! i think he's very well written and interesting. he's a great examination of how we can lie to and martyr ourselves in a search for security that is also about status & wanting to feel special, about the harm done when trying to win a rigged system rather than solidarity in tearing a system down and making a new one. i appreciate his dry/deadpan sense of humour. he's also one of two primary antagonists in the first 3 seasons. and like, all that can coexist? it's multifaceted character writing? we all presumably passed grade 10 english class?
i also cannot emphasize the importance of being able to separate audience reaction or response from what a piece of art is actually doing or saying enough. "this story is bad because it was personally upsetting to me" without examples given or analyzed it is not well, analysis, it's just a currently very unfounded opinion. and sometimes stories are supposed to be personally upsetting, so like. you also gotta know your lanes
it's why subjective analysis is very useful but learning structural (objective) analysis is arguably more important. something can be structurally pretty weak but very enjoyable (frozen). something can be abysmal enjoyment wise but very structurally solid (1984, which i'd argue isn't meant to be enjoyed, either). and it's important to know the difference if you want to write actual analysis rather than opinion based stuff. analysis isn't necessarily better than opinion based pieces but analysis is more expansive because it can cover the subjectivity and the objectivity and more. which is precisely why i can read "the iliad" and think "wow that was good" but if i wanted to write an essay on it i'd have to do a lot more thinking because i'm demanding something greater of that artistic experience by virtue of wanting to expand on it
a lot of people take "art for art's sake" as a statement regarding the fact that art - which is inherently symbolic in its construction, even in what meaning we construe to words themselves - doesn't have to mean anything and fighting back claims that art should mean something. but i think of "art for art's sake" is more worthwhile to examine under the lens of "this art doesn't exist for the sake of capitalist consumption, but amid it, or sometimes precisely in spite of it" and like. very few things artistically have zero meaning precisely because meaning is also "what was the reasoning behind this" and if there is none (think a tattoo you got "just because") that's typically a subjective reflection of the creator and still indicative of their personality. sometimes the meaning is meaninglessness (nihilism is still a creation in response to us searching for meaning, after all)
i'm getting into the weeds now but the point is that there's definitely been an upswing in recent years of people thinking opinions = analysis and while that often is the case (particularly if that opinion is expanded upon enough to be grounded in the text and the text's context) it absolutely is not as often actual analysis as people think it is
#the english major strikes again#thanks for asking#i was in the atla fandom casually from 2013 to 2016 and when i say Head Empty fandom dear g o d#and ppl get very butthurty about it y'know? which i think stems from a general anti intellectualism#bc who needs the fucking humanities and History in times of crisis am i right#but like. legitimate experts in their fields do know more than 16 yr olds online who think#the curtains aren't blue for any particular reason#like to engage with a text you have to operate under the assumption that Everything has meaning and then#parse out the patterns and then debate what meanings are being ascribed#how they may be integrated interpreted or completely unintentional b the author but still very much ther#tag ramble#anonymous#i feel like ppl very much shield themselves with their own perceived intellectualism and#i know so many ppl who are significantly smarter than me and i fucking love it bc i get to learn#it's not a threat it's an opportunity#what's that one socrates quote??? 'the first step to knowing is knowing you know nothing'#or something along those lines
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#; ♡ ; okay to reblog#muu has admittedly been describing is self perceived melancholy and isolation regarding it#as being comparable to the circle drawn around Sadness in Inside Out due to others finding his emotions to be Too Much in capacity#and that as such he has thus been persistently trying to make himself very very small in spaces#so that maybe perhaps someone would soon be able to reside in the circle with him just until he gets to where he feels he is supposed to be#muu has also stated on numerous actions that while he is adamant about self healing he is not necessarily of preference#to not have the assistance of peers and their feedback and he tends he show it most predominantly in asking them to hear Everything#about himself in the form of the big box because one he wants assurances at the end of it all but also because he Has to be explaining#his processes of thought and general state of where he is now to people so that they may go Oh so that why you do the neurotic shit you do#but it really be hard out here when you don't know how to self advocate for a persistently emotionally present romantic partner#you don't really have any friends and you are either God awful at making new ones or you don't want to try for reasons of either#feeling scorned past close friends of yours have left time and time again OR#because you don't know what version of yourself is the Real one or the Good one or the Authentic one so you avoid socializing#until you can properly answer that dilemma but in turn you've left yourself with 1 person to seek out and talk to#but with that comes the existential dread of either a this person is also going to leave me or#b I am in fact so totally codependent on them that it isn't fair to be my sole research for assistance that I ought to fend for myself#but what do you even do to fend for yourself when you don't even know how to Advocate for yourself??#you devise a plan to shrink down and provide no indication to those around you that you are struggling with anything#that perhaps shriveling yourself down like that will allow for people to find you tolerable enough to be around#and that their presences will patch up every interpersonal wound in your system until eventually what you are faking has come true#; ♡ ; inner thoughts
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learning about buck’s childhood just makes the grocery store moment so much worse. he talks to the 118 about his problems because he thought he could trust them with it. because the only other person he could ever talk to about anything was maddie, and even she was always just a little bit out of reach. he tells them so much bad stuff because they’re supposed to be the safe place he can go where nothing hurts. somewhere he isn’t alone. his family, to remind him that he is loved and everything is gonna be okay.
what eddie said told buck that it never was a safe space. that every time he spoke to them, when he thought he finally found someone who cared enough to hear him, there was a part of them that saw him as a nuisance. an exhausting nuisance who complains about everything. who’s problems are so minuscule, they don’t matter at all. he was an inconvenience. something they had to carry but didn’t want to.
just like his parents.
#please don’t yell at me for this i do love eddie and the 118#as someone who relates a LOT to buck this is how i perceive the situation#when you grow up invisible and you finally trust someone with all of you it leads to a lot of opening up#about all sorts of things even just stubbing your toe cuz for once in your life you have someone! who might care!#even though it’s just your toe#because in the past it was never just your toe#it was every single thing that hurt#every bad moment you kept inside because you were alone in the world#there was no one there to hug you when you were sad#buck’s parents may have started out caring when he got physically hurt#but they were always emotionally neglectful#and when they did care they cared for the wrong reasons in the wrong way#and even that faded with time#their love wasn’t just conditional it was. it was so rare#how many times did he sit alone and ache and ache and ache#and all he wanted was someone to hold him. tell him he’s gonna be okay#how many times did he cry himself to sleep#how many times did he sit and wonder what he did wrong. why they saw through him. why he wasn’t enough#what could he do to be enough? what would make them look at him and see him#and be happy with what they saw#happy enough to smile at him#god what he would’ve done to have someone smile at him#and then he thought he found it. he thought he could be enough for someone. they loved him#they listened to him#and then eddie says that it’s whining. that it’s annoying and exhausting and awful#that buck should suck it up and deal with it on his own#and. and the pain he must have felt#911#evan buckley
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my toxic trait is getting irrationally angry when someone implies din’s religion and the covert are inherently abusive/backwards, based solely on bo-katan’s comment and the popular belief that orthodoxy = evil.
#choosing to follow The Way is not depicted as abusive. If anything din and the COFTW are shown as being honorable in an honorless galaxy#and while din’s journey now includes his re-evaluation of what it means to be a Mandalorian in relation to his faith#the fan assumption that the resolution MUST be him walking away from it is frustrating#are watching the same show. are we perceiving things the same way.#he may choose to walk away from TCOTW once/if he learns the true history of Death Watch#but even then TCOTW wouldn’t be wrong to follow. the tenets of it that we’ve seen in the show are true and have guided him well this entire#time. idk man i’m annoyed that ppl are making the same argument that a faith with rules and guidelines (which all of them have) is bad by#default because it’s the same argument people make with the Jedi. because romantic love and attachment are earned away from#people jump straight to ‘this is evil!’ when there are many real world religions that do this#and real world people who accept and agree with those rules as parts of their faith#a rule is not the same as a demand or being forced to do something.#at any point din could walk away from TCOTW same as a jedi could leave the order#Same as a nun can leave a convent and a monk can leave a monastery#the entire point is that those places try not to force you to be there#you have to want to give something up to GAIN something. a connection to something bigger.#that’s literally what faith is and lmfaooo I’m done ranting but good lord the prevalence of these takes gives me a rash#walkie talkie.#reference: din.
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Lord Gortash with the feedism/wg fetish :') not even going on anon bc it would be too obvious
SWAG!!! <- voice of a very excited guy, who definitely isn't lurking in anyone's inboxes
ALRIGHT! Let's get down into Gort himself. Be warned, I have consumed so much of your content today so there will be bias sdfkljhgshkljdf
I think he would be so fucking sloppy <3 love him and he puts on an appearance, but it screams that this man is throwing it all on- or not taking it off after a long night working. (He totally has grease stains everywhere, sue me)
To me he is a finger eater, using his hands to pick up these filling but also fattening foods to just shove them in his awaiting maw. He fs has plates besides his workstation that never seem to disappear, yet always refill.
Before his work as a lord, it would be just something easily accessible and cheap, but now he's a lord, it can be delivered to him in excess- something to be taken advantage of. He grew up to shit parents and Raphael, so for many years he likely had this disconnect with food- but now? Fuck it we ball, he is gorging on that shit like there is no tomorrow, filling up on everything he hadn't ever before.
The first time he had a genuinely filled belly was like a sacrilegious experience, thats mainly where his sexual interest for it came in. For once in his life he didn't have hunger pains- while yes, pains of another kind- he was still *full*, no longer seen as some random rat picked off the street. He had the capacity to do things he couldn't before.
To say he enjoys it is an understatement- it is empowering to him. Also we love an enabled king, absolutely blissfully enabled by those hedonists around him in the nobility, sure they are worried about their weight, but why should he? Fuck them.
#asks#weight mention#feederism mention#I need to find a way to organize my tags istg#THANK YOU FSDKLGJHSDKFGJHSDJFG I MAY TRY TO WRITE A FULL THING FOR THIS ONE TIME BC IM TRYING TO WRITE MORE!!!#YOU INSPIRED ME TODAY!!#I think him being fat and hairy- but also big stronk- is very underrated in the fandom. I aspire to change this#I hope is good :) a lil harder to write knowing ppl will perceive you lkdfjshgksdgljfh
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since hsr 1.1 maintenance has just begun...
MAY ALL SILVER WOLF WANTERS BE SILVER WOLF HAVERS !!!
MAY ALL LUOCHA WANTERS BE LUOCHA HAVERS !!!
MAY ALL YUKONG WANTERS BE YUKONG HAVERS !!!
HAPPY 1.1 EVERYONE !! 🫶
#may the stars guide you <3#this is a scheduled post so if i ended up posting it at the wrong time.... do not perceive me.#this is scheduled bc its like 11pm at the time of posting which means i will actually be asleep in preparation for my bio paper 1 tmrw ;w;#bUT YES HAPPY 1.1 !!! 🤩🥳
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