#{ even her little star pun name it’s so dumb but so good }

[casliveblog]

Custom Toonami Block Week 146 Rundown

Spy X Family: It’s the final episode of the dog arc! Man the dog arc has been a lot longer than I thought it would be given each main character got like one episode intro each and the dog’s had like three at this point. Thankfully Loid doesn’t kill the attack dog and is able to subdue him though he does lock him up and say he’ll come back for him but they never show him doing that. Anyway with the bomb gone and Dog Terrorist Bakugo fleeing the scene only to have his car fucking totaled by a single kick from Yor, the family’s able to reunite each thinking they saved the world today and each being kind of right. Anya expertly blackmails a government agency into getting to keep the dog and we get some nice character stuff for Sylvia, like she’s kind of a background character but this arc in particular has shown her a lot of depth. Once the dog finally gets there they give a heartbreaking montage of what he had to go through to this point to become a Data Dog and honestly yeah it’s a good One Piece style found family backstory told with no internal dialogue so that’s pretty dope. Turns out Anya’s plan of “get dog > befriend Damian> ??? > Profit” isn’t going to be so simple but still they have a dog and Anya’s as dumb as usual but she is really giving it her best to try and train him. They have a little adventure at the dog park and Anya gives him the non-copyright infringing name of Bond which is a bit on the nose for a spy family but I’m on record for loving the pun of their last name being Forger and having the dog that brought them closer together literally named Bond Forger is too good to pass up, it’s a dog that literally forges bonds, how can you not love that.

Inuyasha: So we interrupt the Princess Abi plot we just started last week to dive right into a special two part flashback about how Inuyasha and Kikyo met. I never really knew how to feel about this episode since some of the details feel off and even as a kid I could tell this was filler, so idk if I’d really consider the events of the special canon but it is pretty fun in a Star Wars Prequels kind of way because it’s just kinda watching shit happen and knowing it’s all gonna go horribly wrong by the end. We get some integration of other filler elements like Tsubaki’s tense relationship with Kikyo in that ‘that one coworker whose guts you hate’ kinda way and we get callbacks to Mistress Centipede being the original holder of the Sacred Jewel (though again I vaguely recall them saying it had actually been kept in Sango’s village until Kikyo came around so idk how exactly the details of that line up with canon but it’s more of a fanservice thing). Inuyasha hears about the jewel and he’s in the middle of his ‘doesn’t have a cool giant sword yet so he’s overcompensating for his half demon dick’ arc and because he meets Kikyo on the night he’s human he doesn’t do anything to provoke her and Inuyasha keeps coming after the jewel but a kind of begrudging respect forms between Inuyasha and Kikyo because Kikyo never kills Inuyasha and Inuyasha never resorts to underhanded tactics to try and get the jewel he basically jumps out every day and is like ‘fite me Kikyo’ and because this is pre-episode 1 Inuyasha she kicks his ass every single time. Still Inuyasha chides her about how smelly she is and she ribs him about being a half demon and they kinda roll into each other’s vulnerabilities because Kikyo feels like she’s in between worlds as well as the only teenage girl around that can obliterate an ogre by touching it and Inuyasha’s just kinda turned on by the ogre-obliterating I guess. They agree to exchange gifts and Kikyo actually prepares the Sit beads for him which explains why Kaede had them at the beginning of the series though we get a clue that her word would’ve been ‘Beloved’ which sounds a lot less spammable than Sit but is kind of more cold and cruel because she’s professing love for him and subjugating him at the same time which does kinda fit Kikyo’s character. Still Inuyasha presents her with the rouge that has a LOT more emphasis in Yashahime (even though I think it gets destroyed at the end of this special but don’t pay attention to that) and she gets the backstory about his mom and she’s moved enough to trust him to act without the beads now and doesn’t give them to him. And thus the two form a close relationship and nothing bad happens ever, the end. Also fun fact, was looking on the wiki to double check this was filler and not some side book written for a movie or something and turns out this is the ONLY episode in the entire original series that Kagome’s not in, kind of a neat touch also kinda funny how most anime have long stretches without their main character nowadays and Inuyasha’s just like ‘nope, Kagome in every episode except for the only one taking place entirely before she was born’.

Yu Yu Hakusho: Time for the end of Sensui, or at least I assume so given the episode’s literally titled ‘Sensui’s End’. So long story short Demon Yusuke kicks the absolute SHIT out of Sensui and supercharges the last Spirit Gun bullet to fucking blow him away. Yusuke gains control of himself again but is too late to do anything about it. Given this fight was probably the exact template for Ichigo vs Ulquiorra, Yusuke is pretty pissed about this outcome (not like ‘cut my arm off so we can fight fair’ pissed but still pretty pissed). Turns out Koenma resurrected Game Master as part of Sensui’s fucking Batman gambit to use his guilt to weaken the pacifier battery enough for him to overcome it and that means now he has no more get out of death free cards to give out which is probably fine because I get Yusuke not liking the end given he basically has a human death on his conscience now which is kind of what the whole arc was about but he had limited to no control over his actions at the time, basically the arc was leading to Yusuke getting a ‘I can kill for the greater good’ kill and instead they gave him a ‘got drunk and did some murder’ kill and it kinda sucks. Still like Koenma can probably do some shenanigans with his soul like they did Genkai, like Itsuki’s about to take his soul away so they literally can’t do that but they didn’t know he was gonna do that when they were discussing this. Sensui gives his big speech about how he never had demon friends like Yusuke does so he still had the Saturday morning cartoon morality even before he became a Spirit Detective and never had the main character talk no jutsu abilities to parse out why demons are doing shit (I hate to break it to him but it seems like 90% of demons are just kinda like ‘because it’s fun to kill’ like there are cool demons and all that but I don’t think the likelihood of the ones attacking him as a kid being like that was very high anyway), but point being he feels really shitty about murdering a Titanic-load of demons for shitty rich human assholes and wanted to die in demon world so he could like both get perspective and be some kind of martyr (it just so happens going to demon world also causes the apocalypse but DETAILS). But yeah Itsuki’s basically like ‘My gay ass is taking my self-loathing boyfriend’s corpse to another dimension because we’re not in the mood to put our weird convoluted motives on your morality spectrum’ also Sensui was gonna die in like ten days anyway, kinda random to throw in there, feels like just a random bit of tragedy to throw in for the fuck of it but at least they’re not like ‘oh he was weakened by the disease so Yusuke didn’t even fight him at full power’ no if anything it seems his death sentence hardened his resolve and made him fight harder so he could be put to rest. It’s just really funny how Itsuki’s simping so hard over Sensui he’s like ‘So my man almost caused ONE apocalypse, you guys taught him to murder terrorists so it’s your fault’ like I kind of get Sensui’s motivation by the end being so torn up by shades of gray and kind of half wanting to be proven wrong but Itsuki’s just sitting there so mad about these guys stopping a demon apocalypse and he’s gonna go take Sensui’s body and talk to it in the void forever I guess, also he somehow takes his soul too? Like I know the body and soul are linked recently after death but does Itsuki have the power to just grab the soul and keep it in the body to take to his pocket dimension and keep it away from Koenma? Either way once all that’s done Yusuke’s like ‘okay next arc let’s go kick my demon grandpa’s ass for ruining my fight’ and everyone’s just like ‘can we go have a nap first like we’ve been fighting ten episodes straight and the demon hole’s closing in a few hours we really need a break my guy’ and because Yusuke’s not the single-minded fight junkie that Goku or Ichigo are he agrees to go home with everyone and figure out the whole demon thing later.

Jujutsu Kaisen: Turns out Yuji’s job during the school festival is to be on ‘distract Todo Duty’ because fucking nobody wants to deal with that guy, which is fair, it’s like having Ichigo join your team solely as bait for Kenpachi (lot of Bleach references today) but yeah the two end up having a super manly fisticuffs fight where Yuji kinda gets his ass kicked before he answers Todo’s big ass tall girl question right and Todo has a whole ass slice of life flashback of ‘this is what you mean to me now’ constructing a friendship between him and Yuji in seconds and it’s fucking great. The rest of the Kyoto peeps show off the intros to their movesets and try to kill Yuji but Todo is not having that because if anyone’s gonna fist his new bro to death it’s gonna be him. Meanwhile the rest of Megumi’s group has figured out that literally none of the Kyoto peeps seem interested in the game they’re supposed to be playing and rush to help Yuji and start pairing off into their own little matchups for this arc which looks like it’ll be fun, like a lot of the characters seem cool but we really do need a Chunin Exams style arc where they beat the shit out of each other and cry about their backstories to really solidify this many characters because honestly we don’t have enough info on even the big players yet to really give them emotional cores. Todo stops fighting Yuji and says he wants him to become strong so they can REALLY fight and Yuji’s fresh off his ‘watched his domestic terrorist friend die because Yami Yuji’s a dick and he can’t punch peoples’ souls hard enough’ arc and really needs a win so we’re doin this folks.

Zom 100: So the first two thirds of this episode are like Aggretsuko on steroids, like I don’t want to say this isn’t real because I know this is based on real shit Black Companies do but Akira Tendo’s company makes all the ‘I hate Capitalism’ shows look like Muppet Babies (don’t ask me what that means idk) so I have to believe there’s at least some level of exaggeration in the intensity and/or scope if not the substance of the employee abuse in play here despite it being generally representative of Japanese Corporations just being fucking awful. But yeah if you’ve seen Aggretsuko you know the basic beats of how this goes, Akira has a shitty boss, shitty clients and a bunch of shitty coworkers with shitty practices that drain the life out of any employee protection policies with shitty Japanese work culture. He even has a bland moe big titty crush that only seems to like him because we’ve gotta get pairings going but she’s also banging the boss which that’s uhh… not great on several levels. But yeah, cutting to the chase assuming you’ve seen any ‘I hate Capitalism’ show (there’s been A LOT of them in recent years for some reason, no clue why…) Akira wakes up and finds there’s a zombie apocalypse and it’s kinda funny how he probably Shaun of the Dead’d his way through a lot of this shit before figuring it out. I also enjoy that it’s not necessarily like the nerd fantasy of ‘oh society has broken down so now I can be a king’, no Akira actually takes a pretty healthy approach to things despite his seeming lack of concern about the flesh-eating monsters everywhere and makes his day about emotional closure, he doesn’t revel in the collapse of society or the destruction left in the wake of the apocalypse it’s basically an eternal vacation that just happens to have zombies in it for him and I don’t fully know how long that outlook will last him but it is kinda neat seeing him Carpe the Diem and be so fucking happy about it. He quits his job, kills his boss (as you do), and confesses to his zombie crush with her titty hanging out (again, as you do) like I’ll admit I am a bit thrown by his complete denial of the world going to shit but I am excited for him and how he talks to the zombies like they’re still alive mostly for his own benefit for closure rather than any kind of philosophical reason, like it’s a completely angst-free zombie show and that’s like very strange, even High School of the Dead, as silly as the supersonic titties on that show were, had a good deal of angst despite its protagonists being invincible harem pieces, they still seemed worried about how shit was going down, Akira basically takes the Walking Dead approach of ‘yeah nothing really changed, still could die any moment, fuck it’, it’s like the meme of the nihilist saying ‘Nothing Matters’ while crying and the anti-nihilist saying ‘Nothing Matters’ with a big grin, that’s basically how I can describe Akira’s arc here, extreme anti-nihilism almost to a fault. But yeah, lots of fun, crazy colorful visuals to show how the new zombie world is Akira’s wonderland and I’m interested to see where this goes.  

Ranking of Kings: Now that everything’s good topside, Bojji takes on the mission of returning the chimeras that attacked Hilling to the underworld now that they’re not bad doggos anymore. I mean I’m pretty sure they have no idea Ouken’s been apprehended and there’s like four other Underworld fugitives they don’t have a pin on running around the castle but taking the doggos home is important too I guess. It gets kind of complicated since Domas is down there and the last time Bojji saw him he was literally trying to kill him so yeah that’s a bit rough. Meanwhile Domas and Kirito are down at the portal trying to seal it off but they don’t get to it in time I guess and the Underworld guards are there and Domas has to fight off a whole squad of them which he does, complete with ‘big guy that seems strong but goes down like the rest of them’ because that’s always a good way to spice up fighting mooks. However Desha comes through saying he wanted to fight Bosse now that he’s the size of a kid and Domas is just like ‘nah bro’ and it’s really fucking funny because Domas is trying to galaxy brain this fight by analyzing both their weapons and striking distances and Desha just kinda inches closer to him and kicks him in the nuts, like it ain’t that deep bro I guess. Meanwhile Gnasty Gnorc drops down to the Underworld (forgetting the doggos which is the whole reason why they’re here) with Bojji and Kage in hand and Bojji has a full blown Puss in Boots panic attack when he sees Domas again but Domas is just so happy that Bojji is alive he tries to do Sudoku to repent and Kirito’s just like ‘how about we just protect him instead’ and they fight for a bit before Desha takes out Gnasty Gnorc and says he’s just here to kill Miranjo because she’s the bitch that started all this and like he’s not wrong, I mean he plans on taking over the kingdom and 1v1ing their child king and shit but yeah Miranjo does seem to be the problem here though I have no doubt we’ll end up Talk No Jutsuing her though I have no idea how that’ll work given Bojji literally can’t talk but also doesn’t want to kill anyone so we’ll see how that shakes out.

Vinland Saga: Well turns out the thief girl from last episode survived and she’s now told Thorkell’s troops where Askeladd and co. are just as Thorkell’s getting antsy from the winter putting a cork in his murder spree, so now the timetable on them getting their butts in gear has been moved way up and the whole ‘slaughtering a whole village of innocent people to keep them quiet’ deal kinda fell through. Meanwhile, said deal is making the Priest feel kinda shitty about God and Canute’s like ‘fuck you, God is awesome, he’s the biggest Father and fathers are cool to their kids and shit’ right in front of Thorfinn who’s still dealing with his own daddy issues. Also turns out Canute is basically Sanji because he’s like ‘dad I wanna cook’ and his dad’s just like ‘COOK!? YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO FIGHT’ and Thorfinn gets his first meal in like probably a decade that doesn’t taste like overly salted slim jims from his king malewife. Meanwhile Askeladd’s crew is fighting with Thorkell’s scouts and they have to get the fuck out of dodge except the plan is to go FURTHER into England while also being chased by the English so Ragnar’s pissed about that and goes all Karen and asks to speak with Manager Askeladd. Turns out this was all part of Askeladd’s plan and they were really just leading him out to the front lines to stage his death so Askeladd can worm his way in and work on influencing Canute without Ragnar babying him. Ragnar tells Askeladd that in reality Canute was sent to war to die so that there would be no obstruction to his older, cooler brother taking the throne and the faction that supported Canute would fall apart and rally behind his brother. I’m no scholar for monarchys but does Canute really have any claim to the throne here like why is there a faction backing him at all if Herald is older and by birthright should be next in line and according to the weird Viking standards is better suited for the job when Canute’s main achievements are being REALLY Christian and pissing himself at the first sign of trouble? Feels like a reverse Ranking of Kings situation where the guy everyone wants for the job was next in line anyway so why was there any trouble. Anyway Ragnar dies and it’s really sad and Askeladd has to change plans and bring Canute into hiding because apparently King Dad wants to murder him for being a fucking pussy and if anyone wants to get anything out of saving the prince they have to make sure that doesn’t happen.   

[none-of-your-biscuits]

Okay so like, walk with me on my path for a moment, consider this

The goat (and rooster) miraculous were especially lazy, because Genesis or whatever is literally just a copy of the lucky charm and the paintbrush is lame so I'm picking up the concept and slamming it into the floor so I can put it back together

But also like, not for a cat duo perspective but for a canon-er one, the tiger is essentially a copy of the cat, and the goat is a copy of the ladybug and while that doesn't matter for cat duo just know I was thinking about it

So like I was talking with the council about this bc we are a hivemind and we agreed (but especially cap) that the goat and rooster should be night day theme, and I was saying how it was a shame that Caprikid was genuinely a good name and then they had nothing to do with stars or nighttime and their power was named after the Bible of all things like huh???

So I would not let go of the star thing and now for a little mythology lesson with Biscuits, the actual Capricornus constellation (which is a goat mermaid basically) is based on a couple things but the most famous is about the Greek god Pan, who was a satyr and god of the wild and a couple other things but the story behind it is apparently, when like Typhon (father of monsters? I don't know that myth super well) but basically all the Olympians fucking booked it to Egypt I believe, besides Zeus and maybe Athena sometimes, and Pan gave them the idea to hide in the form of turning into animals, and for him that means he turned into a half fish (because he already had a goat head) and swam down the Nile, and Zeus was so proud of him for his idea that he made a constellation for him.

So anyway onto why this matters even a little

So I'm not sure of the EXACT reason they need to give the goat miraculous out, but Chat takes it and he and tigress are like "do you think, that Chloe deserves a second chance?" So chat runs off while tigress and ladybug fight whatever akuma

And like

Chat hands her the miraculous, and says this is a second chance, please don't reveal your identity this time, even to ladybug

So now onto the like basic stuff

Her name is like, I was just gonna be lazy and call her Satyr but then dragon goes "Satyre, like satire, because she's not supposed to have a miraculous" and I love that so her name is Satyre

The canon weapon is dumb, and like, there's two options for the goat miraculous you either do the battering RAM for the pun or you do Shepard's Crook for the aesthetic and I'm all about aesthetic so crook all the way baby

Like. I'm not great at design but the only thing rattling around in my head is like, black jacket with like the wool lined hood? And the Capricorn constellation on the back in white

And like in general smaller constellations in on the black parts of her outfit bc like black and white for the goat (dubwool lookin binch)

Also horns bc I physically cannot not add horns to stuff whenever possible

For the power, I'm kinda sketch on this but I can't think of anything better so like, kinda like sandboy (not the akuma) dust, but where it's timed and if they can get close enough to pocket sand/blow dist on you after like a few minutes you just pass out and don't wake up for like a minute, but the "pass out" time is incredibly close to the timer for the detransforming, so the goat like has to dip out almost immediately after using the dust

I don't have a name for the power chloroform So I just call it Dust for now

So yeah, Goat Chloe/Satyre is in cat duo now

[marauders-venting]

Worth The Wait

pairing: wolfstar (remus x sirius)

genre: fluff & angst

warnings: mentions of being sick and throwing up

words: 2502

a/n: this is a request I got from someone on Instagram and I absolutely love it!

“Evans, are you sure you’re okay?” Sirius asked, glancing over at her. Lily was sitting in the corner of the common room, bent over the table, her head resting on her arm. She had been looking peaky all day, which Sirius might not have noticed if James hadn’t pointed it out to him. 32 times to be exact.

“Do you think she’s sick, Pads? Should I ask her? Nah, she’ll get mad at me. But if she really is sick she should be in the hospital wing. But what if I ask her and she’s actually fine and she thinks I’m insulting her or something?” James had finally asked her if she was alright at dinner when she hadn’t eaten anything.

“I’m fine,” she had said. Except she hadn’t snapped at him. In fact, she smiled a little. James had practically glowed. “Just a little nauseous.” But it was an hour later and Lily still looked ill.

“I’m fine,” she repeated, this time to Sirius. “I’ll be fine.” She lifted her head, looking back at her half-finished essay.

“Lils, you’re pale as fuck,” Marlene said. “You’re sick.”

“I told you, I’ll be fine,” she said. Less than ten minutes later, Lily had rushed to the bathroom and thrown up.

“Okay,” she said when she came up. “Maybe not so fine. I think I have a stomach bug or something, I’ve been nauseous all day.”

“Come on, I’m taking you to the hospital wing,” Mary said.

“Wait,” she said. “Remus and I have prefect rounds.”

“Don’t be stupid, I’ll cover for you,” Remus said. “You do it for me all the time.”

“Thanks, Rem.”

“Of course. Feel better, Lils.” She and Mary headed for the portrait hole. Sirius glanced at James, who was biting his nail and not paying any attention to the textbook lying open in front of him. Sirius knew he wanted to go with Lily — he was worried about her — but he didn’t want to annoy her. Not when they’d been on such good terms for the past few months.

Barely five minutes had passed before Marlene said, “Well, there’s no point working on this shit without Lily.” She gestured to the essay.

“I could help you if you want,” Alice offered.

“Don’t worry yourself, Alice, she knows,” Dorcas replied before Marlene could say anything. “She could do it herself if she wanted to. She just doesn’t want to do it and that’s her excuse.”

“Shhh stop exposing me,” Marlene said, flopping dramatically onto Dorcas’ lap. “I’m too tired to write essays now.”

“Well, are you gonna go to sleep any time soon?” Dorcas asked, raking their fingers gently through Marlene’s hair. Marlene took Dorcas’ other hand and kissed it.

“Only if you can’t think of anything better for us to do,” she said.

“Oh baby, I can think of several things we can do,” Dorcas said, smirking.

“Oh?” Marlene said, sitting up. “Such as?”

“Well, I’ll give you a hint,” Dorcas said. “They all involve a bed, but not sleep.” Marlene grabbed Dorcas by the hand and pulled her towards the staircase leading to their dorm.

“I’d steer clear of your dorm if I were you, Alice,” Peter said, looking up from the textbook in his hand.

“Yeah,” Alice laughed, “I think I’ll go see Lily in the hospital wing. If Madam Pomfrey will let me in.” So she got up and walked out the portrait hole too.

Half an hour later, only Sirius, Remus, Peter and James, who had been surprisingly quiet this whole time, remained in the common room.

Sirius was sitting on a couch, his feet up on the table in front of him; he had given up on the essay long ago. He knew he would still get a decent grade though, even if he had barely put any effort into it.

Remus was sitting on the floor beside him, his essay spread across the table. Remus quickly scribbled the end of a sentence and flopped his head back onto the couch, groaning.

“It’s going to be so boring, walking around the castle alone,” he complained. “I mean, I guess I shouldn’t complain since Lily does it for me every month, at least once but still.”

“You don’t have to do it,” Sirius said. Remus slapped his leg, the one that was near his head.

“You know I do,” he replied.

“Fine then, I’ll come with you,” Sirius said.

“You can’t do that,” Remus said.

“Says who?” Sirius shrugged.

“Well, are you a prefect?”

“Do I look like I care?”

“Fair point,” Remus said. He looked like he was contemplating it. 

“So d’you want me to come with you or not?” Sirius asked. His heart was beating faster than it should be. So he’d be walking around the castle with Remus. So what? It certainly didn’t mean anything. Remus hesitated a second before replying.

“If we get caught, can I pin it all on you?” he asked, grinning at Sirius.

“Sure,” Sirius shrugged. “It’s not like they can give me more detentions without cutting into lesson time, can they?” Sirius stood up, cracking his knuckles nervously. He wanted to be alone with Remus but if James and Peter wanted to come… Well, he couldn’t tell them not to without it being weird. But Remus didn’t suggest it and neither one of them seemed eager to join.

“We won’t wait up,” James said, smirking at Sirius. James saw right through him. Sirius didn’t care, as long as he didn’t make it obvious to Remus. Like he was doing right now. Sirius pointed the finger at him from behind Remus’ back.

“Hold on, I need to put this essay upstairs,” Remus said. He ran up the stairs to the dormitory.

“I officially give up on this essay,” Peter said, slamming the textbook shut. “I don’t care, I’ll do it tomorrow. My brain isn’t functioning now. I need a shower and sleep.” He got up and started up the staircase after Remus. “‘Night,” he called.

“G’night, Pete,” James called back.

“‘Night, Wormy.” Once Peter was out of sight, Sirius rounded on James.

“James, I swear to god, if you keep making jokes, I will personally murder you,” Sirius said.

“Oh relax, would you? Nobody takes my jokes seriously except you. Although I guess that makes sense.” James laughed at his own pun.

“That was pathetic,” Sirius said, shaking his head. “Only I can pull those jokes off. It’s my name.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” James said. He hesitated for a moment before asking, “Do you think I should have gone with her?”

“Relax, Prongs, she’ll be fine,” Sirius said. “Mary and Alice are with her. Besides, I doubt Madam Pomfrey will let you in.”

“Yeah, I guess,” James said. “Do you think she’d be annoyed if I went to visit her in the morning?”

“I don’t know, James. She might not even stay overnight. Not for a stomach bug.”

“Yeah, probably not. I can’t do what you do and sit by my crush’s sickbed, staring wistfully at their beautiful face and wait for them to wake up so I can spend all day caring for them,” James said.

“What? I don’t do that,” Sirius said, going red.

“Of course, you do,” James said matter-of-factly. “Every month. It’s very sweet, by the way. Disgustingly sweet.” Sirius elbowed him in the ribs. “But really, are you just never going to tell him?” James added. But Sirius didn’t get a chance to reply because Remus came back downstairs and headed straight for the portrait hole.

“See you guys later,” he called.

“Moony, wait for me,” Sirius pouted, hurrying after him and trying not to think about what James had said.

“Don’t be so slow then,” Remus said as Sirius caught up to him at the end of the corridor.

“Slow? I’m the one who waited for you to put your essay in the dorm!” Sirius exclaimed.

“Shh, you can’t yell,” Remus said. “Especially since you’re technically not supposed to be here.”

“Fine, I won’t yell,” Sirius said. “So what are we supposed to do?”

“Literally nothing,” Remus said. “We walk around the school until we’ve covered enough ground that I can report back to McGonagall and say that there are no students out of bed and then we go back to the common room. It’s boring as fuck.”

“Well, I’m here to keep you entertained, Moony, so prepare for the best prefect rounds of your life,” Sirius said.

“Why does that concern me more than it comforts me?” Remus replied.

“Because you’re cynical and mean,” Sirius said.

---------

“I can’t believe you do this like four times a week,” Sirius said, as they headed to McGonagall’s office. “How haven’t you died of boredom yet?”

“You didn’t have to come, y’know,” Remus said. “Your complaining doesn’t make this any more enjoyable.”

“I’m not complaining, I’m making a point about how unfair this is for you,” Sirius said, as they reached the end of the corridor.

“Trust me, I know,” Remus said. “Now wait here while I tell McGonagall that I’m done. Don’t be loud.” It only took Remus about three minutes to get back but Sirius had already made himself comfortable on the floor. He hopped up when he saw Remus come back.

“Let’s sneak out,” he said immediately.

“What?”

“Let’s go out to the grounds, by the lake.”

“Sirius, we’ll get caught.”

“No, we won’t.”

“Yes, we will. We don’t have the Cloak.”

“So? We can be stealthy. And, worst case, we get caught. So what?”

“First of all, you suck at being stealthy, Sirius, and second of all, I’m a prefect. I’m supposed to be setting a good example. And it’s not really setting a good example if I get caught breaking the rules, is it?”

“Don’t be such a buzzkill, Moony. Pleeeeease. I promise we won’t get caught. There’s nobody awake to catch us, everyone will have gone to bed by now. And we can look at the stars. Come on, Moony, you love astronomy. Plus you won’t have an annoying professor asking dumb questions that nobody cares about. Pleeeeease?” Sirius pouted.

“Fine,” Remus said, grudgingly. “If we get caught, I’ll kill you.” But Sirius was right. Everybody must have been asleep because there wasn’t a single person in the corridors.

Remus and Sirius crossed the grounds and went over to the lake and sat down side by side. Remus lay down on the grass and stretched his arms above his head. Sirius flopped down beside him.

“Do you recognise any of these?” Remus asked.

“Some,” Sirius said. He pointed at the sky. “See that star right there? That’s the dog star, Sirius.”

“And this is the thousandth time you’ve told me,” Remus said, rolling his eyes.

“Well if there was a star named after you then you wouldn’t shut up about it either,” Sirius said. Remus rolls his eyes again. “And if you don’t stop rolling your eyes, they’ll get stuck.”

“Stop giving me reasons to roll my eyes then,” Remus says. Then after a moment, he adds, “is there a wolf star?”

“Uh-huh,” Sirius nodded.

“Where?”

“Right here,” Sirius said, poking Remus with his elbow.

“Shut up.” Remus rolled his eyes again.

“I’m complimenting you, Moony.” Remus didn’t reply. He sat up and stared at the lake. Sirius sat up as well. He thought of what James said earlier. He could technically never tell Remus about this. He could keep it a secret. He could grit his teeth and try to get over it. But the way Remus looked at him now as they lay under the stars… their eyes met and Sirius couldn’t explain it but something gave him a feeling that maybe he wasn’t the only one thinking about it. He could see a faint blush on Remus’ cheeks from when he’d called him a star. And he’s so close.

Sirius wasn’t quite sure what possessed him at that moment but he slowly inched closer to Remus. He leaned in and brushed his lips against Remus’ but Remus turned his head away from him, ending the kiss before it even started. Sirius moved back quickly. He didn’t want to invade Remus’ space, he didn't want to force himself on Remus.

“I’m sorry,” he said, so quietly he wasn’t sure Remus had heard him.

“Don’t be,” said Remus. He was looking at the floor. “I just…” He just what? Sirius waited. He wanted to help Remus along like he always did but didn’t know how. He was usually so good at understanding how to help Remus explain himself when words would fail him, how to prompt him without pushing him, but now… Sirius wished a hole in the ground would swallow him. He’d fucked up bad. Sirius didn’t want to pressure Remus so he stayed silent. But the silence was awkward and filled with tension.

“Maybe… maybe we should just…” started Remus, struggling to get out words, “maybe we should just stay… friends.” Sirius felt like someone had kicked him in the gut and knocked all the wind out of him. He bit his lip and it was all he could do to stop the tears rushing to his eyes, begging to spill onto his cheeks. He should have seen this coming. Why should Remus ever want to be with him? Just because he’s had feelings for Remus for the past few months, didn’t mean Remus returned those feelings. What was he thinking, trying to kiss Remus? He wished he hadn’t done it.

Sirius must have been delusional to believe that Remus might want him. Delusional or in love. Same difference, really, he thought. He couldn’t digest this. He felt sick. He turned away, afraid that he would vomit on Remus.

“If that’s what you want,” he said. His voice was feeble. It sounded empty and dead. He hoped Remus couldn’t hear how hurt Sirius felt. He didn’t want Remus to feel guilty. It wasn’t Remus’ fault that Sirius fucked everything up. It wasn’t Remus’ fault that Sirius had fallen in love. (Well, actually, one could argue that it’s entirely his fault, Sirius thought, I mean look at him! How am I supposed to not fall in love with him?) Sirius couldn’t look at Remus.

“Sirius, I—” Remus started. Sirius waited but Remus didn’t continue.

“I think I’ll go now,” Sirius said. He wasn’t whispering but his voice was very quiet. “I don’t want to get you in trouble.” He was, after all, breaking a school rule. And Remus was a prefect. He stood up without another word and Remus remained silent as Sirius started walking away. Sirius didn’t look back. He didn’t want to see Remus (his amber eyes that could go from tired to fiery in seconds; his soft, brown curls that he brushed away from his face with his hands; his small, sweet, addictive smile that came with a crinkle next to his eyes; his hands covered in scars; in other words, too fucking perfect for words), it would be too painful.

[seattlesea]

Lorien Legacies Characters + Voices

One: -Has a slight California accent after spending so much time there -Uses basic surfer slang and overexaggerates it sometimes (gnarly dude!) -Also uses modern slang a lot -Has a light, clear, pleasant, smooth, level, soft, and sultry voice -Doesn’t talk too loud or too quiet, usually at the right volume unless she’s excited, then she’s at max volume and makes peoples’ ears bleed -Gets voice cracks and sounds deeper when she’s upset or angry and half the time it’s sad and the other half the time it’s scary -Says ‘hella’ and curses a lot -Sounds fierce and enraged when she’s yelling and it’s terrifying, she sounds wild and untamed -Uses casual words and grammar, nothing too complicated or difficult -Sounds like what silk and cotton candy feel like -Talks kind of slow, but when she’s talking about something she’s passionate about she talks at a mile a minute -Her natural voice is really calming, especially when she’s tired or relaxed, like water splashing on rocks -At night her voice is so low and soothing it’s like star-gazing at three in the morning -Sounds really lazy at times  -Gets a little rasp when she’s been yelling too much and it’s awesome -Has a raucous and husky but really contagious laugh

Maggie: -Has a slight Irish accent that gets clearer the louder her voice gets -Has a light, clear, pleasant, gentle, really soft, sotto, silvery, small, and kind of high voice  -Mutters in different languages a lot (the others don’t know she’s cursing) -Stutters and uses ‘uh’ and ‘um’ a lot -Talks kind of slow and hesitant at first, but once she warms up to people she talks way too fast and excitedly -And by ‘way too fast’ I mean way too fast, like the girl needs to slow down, barely anyone can understand her. She’s also super talkative to the point of annoying -Sometimes her voice gets raspy when she’s been raising her voice too much (which is rarely, her voice is usually at a good volume) but rarely gets raspy when she’s talking normally since she’s used to talking a lot -Instead of getting shaky or shrill when she’s scared, her voice gets firm and tight -Uses really big, descriptive words some people don’t even understand and has a very extensive vocabulary -Sounds dreamy and starry-eyed, like she’s always fantasizing something and it’s really relaxing and pleasant to listen to -Kind of sounds like what stars would look like if you could see them during the day -Her voice is so soothing and peaceful the others don’t mind when she reads out loud and aren’t scared to admit they allow a 12 year old to read to them -Sounds fiery and harsh when she’s yelling, it’s a lot more loud and commanding than people expect to come from a small 12 year old -When she’s tired she sounds wistful and drags most of her words  -And when she’s sad her voice gets really shaky and brittle like she’s always on the verge of breaking down and it’s heart-breaking -Has a soft and cute laugh that’s really quiet, she giggles more than laughs -Sounds like what lace, dreams, and pearls look like -Uses perfect grammar and corrects everyone else a lot

Hannu: -Has a thick Kenyan accent -His voice is deep, strong, fruity, pleasant, thick, soft, and smooth -Uses casual but perfect grammar -Also uses older slang he picked up from his Cêpan -Sounds harsh and loud when he’s yelling, which is rare -His voice is really level and placid, it’s almost lulling -Sounds deeper and shaky and breathes really heavily when he’s upset or scared -Uses nicknames a lot, he likes shortening people’s names as much as he can just for the heck of it -He pronounces things wrong often. He can speak every language fluently but frequently pronounces certain words wrong -Likes short and simple words everyone can understand  -Mirrors people often, his voice will change depending on whom he’s been talking to the most -Has a really deep and rich voice that sounds like it’s resonating and everyone loves it -And has a low and sweet laugh that’s really nice to hear -Sounds like what melted chocolate and coffee look like -Drags some of his words and talks at a leisurely pace, he likes taking his time -Never curses no matter the situation -When he’s happy his voice gets higher and brighter -Talks at a nice, steady pace that’s easy to follow along to -Anyone can tell what he’s feeling by his voice, he never bothers to hide it and his voice is always full of emotions

John: -Has a moderate Ohioan accent that Nine mocks a lot -Uses a lot of Ohioan slang as well -Has a fruity, pleasant, gravelly, honeyed, strong, and appealing voice that’s more on the deep side -Sounds booming and assertive when he’s yelling, it’s basically him getting in his Leader Mode™ -Has a deep and resonant laugh that’s really cute (though no one would admit it) -Sounds brittle, low, and serious when he’s upset like he’s about to cry even when he isn’t -Never stutters, he’s learned enough about lying to get the whole talking thing down -Uses casual but good grammar and basic, everyday words, nothing too flashy or complicated -His voice is really nice to listen to especially when he’s comforting someone, it gets really soft and as fragile as glass -Sounds like what deep water looks like and what feathers feel like -Also sounds really soulful, his voice is always thick and full of emotion so it’s easy to tell what he’s feeling by the way he talks, even if he tries to hide it -Says phrases from a bunch of different states in the U.S, so sometimes his sentences are blurs of city slang barely anyone can understand -Since he spends half his time shouting orders or yelling at the other Garde (especially Nine) for doing dumb shit, by the end of the day his voice is always super husky and low -When he’s really tired he talks so slowly, it’s like going down a lazy river, though sometimes it’s annoying cause he takes so damn long to say a single sentence -His voice gets sharp and grating when he’s angry. When he starts sounding like the way cut steel looks like you know you effed up

Five: -Has hints of a few different islander accents that Ella jokes make him sound like a pirate (that and his missing eye definitely give off that impression) -His voice is on the deeper side but not as deep as the other guys’ -Has a gruff, husky, throaty, gravelly, and sometimes monotonous voice. He can sound completely dead and toneless if he wants -He sounds harsh and raucous when he’s yelling, it’s very rough, loud, and grating -When he’s angry he sounds wild and fierce, almost frantic -Uses simple words and calls people by their last names a lot, but never calls people by their numbers -He’ll never admit it when he’s scared, but it’s easy to tell from his voice which gets really tremulous and frail -Sometimes stutters, but never lets himself stutter when talking to people he doesn’t like -His voice when talking to people he doesn’t know or like is cold and hostile- mostly emotionless- but when he’s talking to people he does it’s completely different, it’s soft and sweet and gentle and it’s low-key adorable -Has a sharp and croaky laugh that makes it sound like it’s a fake laugh but it’s usually real (unless it’s a sarcastic laugh) -Curses quite a bit, though not as much as others. Usually it’s just under his breath or when he’s yelling, but not in daily conversation -The way his voice sounds changes depending on who he’s talking to. Usually it sounds like what tires on gravel sound like, sometimes like what steel and ice feel like, and other times like flowers and fluffy clouds -Always has planned-out wording, he hates being unprepared, even if it’s with things as simple as a conversation -So generally he hates talking to really spontaneous people who change the topic a lot unless it’s someone talkative whom he likes, then he just lets them do the talking and he listens in (really well, may I add)

Six: -Has a ranging accent from various places -But her most prominent accent is her Italian one, which gets louder as she yells -And because of her Italian accent, she pronounces her ‘i’s like ‘e’ and she hates it -Has a sultry, smooth, smoky, firm, level, and husky voice, and it’s really deep, deeper than John’s and all the other females -Sounds toneless most of the time but when she’s comfortable or relaxed, she allows others to tell what she’s feeling through her voice (and expression) -Sounds ardent and fiery when she’s yelling. Her voice is so commanding most people would listen to her without thinking -When she’s been talking to much she gets a rasp in her voice that sounds awesome -Since she’s usually so blunt and has learned to hide her emotions, you can barely tell when she’s angry, but she sounds harsh and brash when she’s angry enough -And because of this, you can also rarely tell when she’s scared but if she’s scared enough her voice will get low and quavery and it’s terrifying to hear cause when Six is scared enough to show it, you know the situation is bad -Has a light and silvery laugh that’s rare but nice to hear from her -She doesn’t have many passions outside of the war so when she finds some hobbies after it’s over, she talks really fast and sounds so eager and excited whenever she talks about it -Never stutters or uses ‘uh’ or ‘um’, she usually has her voice under control -Most of the time she sounds like a basic soldier- strong, firm, sturdy, flat, and assertive, like she’s taking orders from a general -Talks at a level, steady pace and uses kind of lengthy, sophisticated words -Sounds like what lightning and thunder look and feel like (pun intended) -Will curse now and then. It’s not a normal thing for her but not surprising when she does it, either

Marina: -Has a moderate Spanish accent from her lengthy time at Santa Teresa  -Uses Spanish slang a lot, too -Has a thick, emotional, pleasant, smooth, soft, sweet, and velvety voice -Her voice isn’t too high or too deep, it’s right in the middle and sounds great -Sounds strident and forceful when she’s yelling. She sounds like the verbal personification of trying to push against a wall -She sounds bitter and wobbly when she’s upset or scared -Her natural voice is so gentle and soothing and lovely, hearing it is like getting a warm verbal mom hug and she makes a great comforter because of it -People love hearing her voice because of this -She gets a slight rasp when she’s been yelling cause she’s not used to it -Sometimes stutters, usually when she’s talking about something she’s passionate about cause it’s the only time she won’t talk at a slow, calm pace -Her voice is so peaceful and serene most people who are mad will calm down just at the sound of her voice -Sounds like what vanilla looks like and what velvet feels like -Uses good grammar and wise, knowledgeable words -Has a soft and warm laugh that’s really irresistible and others love hearing it -Uses platonic-friendship pet names like ‘Dolly’, ‘Buttercup’, and ‘Teacup’ -Mutters and curses under her breath in Spanish a lot, especially when she’s exasperated with the other Garde (usually Nine) -When she’s tired her voice gets really deep and sleepy, almost as deep as John’s

Eight: -Has a thick Indian accent after being there for so long -Also speaks Sanskrit fluently and will often switch to it mid-sentence without realizing it -Has a thick, smooth, clear, appealing, husky, fruity, honeyed, and soft voice -His voice is deeper than John and Five’s but not as deep as Nine’s, on par with and deeper than Six’s when he’s tired -Sounds low and guttural when he’s angry, he practically growls -Makes random animal noises at the most random moments thanks to his shape-shifting -When he’s scared or sad his voice turns really soft and delicate, like he could break if you so much as blow in his direction -Uses nicknames (funny and normal) and pet names a lot. Usually pet names are for Marina but he’ll often jokingly flirt with John and Nine   -Sounds violent and sharp when he’s yelling, like the way the edge of a sword looks like, and since he rarely yells, it’s pretty scary coming from him -Has a bright and cheerful laugh that’s the personification of sunshine and happiness, it’s great and often lifts the mood of everyone who hears it -Sounds like sugar and what a fuzzy, warm blanket feels like -He naturally talks really fast- sometimes even faster than Maggie- so he pronounces a lot of words wrong, though he never minds -Really likes watching movies and reading so steals a lot of signature phrases from characters -So he’ll be throwing things like ‘Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn’ into daily conversation and no one but Maggie and Sam understand the references

Nine: -Has a heavy Chicago-city accent  -Has a gravelly, husky, strong, fruity, gruff, attractive, and low voice -His voice is deeper than John’s but not as deep as people would expect (Six and Eight’s voices are deeper) -Uses Chicago slang a lot and since it changes so often, it confuses the others so much they’ve stopped bothering to ask what something means -Like one day he’ll keep saying ‘finna’ and has to explain what it means then a few weeks later he’ll start saying ‘I like the drip’ and the others are so exasperated trying to keep up -Drags his words a lot, he talks at a slow, easygoing pace but sometimes talks so slowly it’s low-key irritating -Uses nicknames a lot, like calling Five ‘Hobbit’ or Ella ‘Squirt’ -Doesn’t care too much about having an extensive vocabulary but started using decent grammar after Maggie kept correcting him (she eventually gave up with all the Chicago slang, though) -Sounds booming and assertive when he’s yelling, he honestly has one of the most scary yelling voices besides Adam. It’s strong and fierce and dominant and everyone knows not to mess with him when he’s pissed -Talks SUPER LOUDLY LIKE TYPING IN ALL CAPS, the others have to remind him to lower his voice on a daily basis -Sounds ferocious and forceful when he’s angry, like the verbal form of a wildfire -Would never admit he’s scared unless it’s to people he’s really close with but sometimes it’s obvious through his voice, which gets shaky and heavy -Has a slight rasp that makes his voice sound more hoarse  -Sounds like what caramel and melted marshmallows look like -Has a deep and pleasant laugh that’s really low and always genuine and melodious and rich -Curses a lot, the most out of everyone

Ella: -Has hints of a Scottish accent -Has a high, soft, sweet, slightly raspy, silvery, honeyed, and sotto voice -Overall her voice is really cute -Uses actress slang like ‘room tone’ and ‘back to one’ -Also uses good grammar and either really simple, basic words or sophisticated ones, not as knowledgeable or extensive as Maggie’s but pretty advanced for her age -Sounds brittle and thin when she’s upset and scared -It’s easy to tell what she’s feeling through her voice, she never bothers trying to hide her emotions even though she’s an experienced-enough actor to do so and her voice is always full with emotion   -Rarely yells but the few times she does, she sounds wild and and frantic, almost hysterical  -When she’s angry she sounds trembly and taut. She sounds less angry, per se, and more tight, so it’s hard to tell when she’s angry or just annoyed -Has a soft and airy laugh that sounds like the way a soft breeze feels -Mirrors others a lot, she unintentionally copies everyone else’s signature phrases, hand gestures, tone, et cetera -Her natural voice is super quiet and others have to remind her to speak up a lot, though she’s starting to get the hang of it after mirroring loud-ass Nine  -Sounds like what crystals look like and what the cool side of a pillow feels like

Sam: -Has a basic American accent -Has a gentle, emotional, mellow, light, silvery, and kind of high voice -And it’s really, really soft, softer than Marina’s and others love listening to his voice so they don’t mind when he goes on rants about movies or space -When he’s in any mood other than happy or excited he sounds like he’s about to cry, even when he’s relaxed -But when he’s mad his voice doesn’t quiver or anything, it just gets really tight  -When he’s talking about things he’s passionate about he talks slower like he’s savoring the words and his voice gets a little deeper and somehow softer -His voice and breath get really shaky when he’s scared or upset like he’s about to break down and it’s really sad to hear -Generally talks quite fast and faster when he’s nervous -Chuckles more than laughs, it’s quiet and sweet -Always gives people nicknames from sci-fi movies, like he’ll call John Spock at random times and no one understands the references -His voice is really soothing. He’s not the best at comforting people (he’s kinda awkward with it) but his voice is enough to calm people down a little bit -Rarely curses, he’ll only say the less intense words like damn or shit but if he’s angry enough he’ll go on a cursing spree and everyone’s shocked at it -Hates Ohio slang but it’s become a habit after living there for so long (and cause John uses it all the time) -Sounds like what glass looks like and what cotton feels like -When he’s tired or just woke up his voice will get really deep- on par with John’s- and he drags all his words and talks super slow -Uses perfect grammar and has a very extensive vocabulary -Usually sounds like a polite college professor  -Says ‘burst the bubble’ all the time and uses a lot of astronaut slang and terms -Half the time his speech is impromptu and the other half of the time he has to know what he’s going to say and prepares it like two hours before

Sarah: -Also has a typical American accent -Has a really soft, soothing, velvety, pleasant, emotional, and melodious voice -Her voice isn’t too deep or too high, it’s right in the middle and just a little deeper than Sam’s -Has a soft and giggly laugh, it’s really cute -When she’s scared or upset her voice gets kind of shaky and croaky -Talks at a nice, steady pace and always at a reasonable volume -Sounds like writing in italics -Has a shrill and strident yelling voice when she’s frantic -But when she’s angry it’s resonant and orotund  -Overall has a very clear and calm voice but gets a slight rasp when she’s tired and it’s really nice -Also makes a great comforter cause her voice is so soft and sweet -Sounds so patient all the time -Uses good grammar and simple but illustrative words  -And uses a bunch of cute, romantic pet names like ‘Love’, ‘Darling’, ‘Sweetie’, etc. -Doesn’t use any type of slang, she just goes for the basic words -Sounds like honey and the way soft sweaters feel -Likes using the basic nicknames that are shortened versions of peoples’ names -And always calls the Garde by their Earth names, she doesn’t like calling people by numbers cause she feels like it’s dehumanizing them -When she’s nervous or anxious her voice gets really quiet, like a whisper -Can sound really rough when she’s tired or exhausted -Her voice is the most feminine of the group, and it’s really soothing and calming to listen to, especially when you’re tired or trying to relax -Her voice is like getting the verbal personification of cuddling with a soft stuffed animal -It’s just really great, kind of like a piece of heaven

Adam: -Kind of has that harsh Mogadorian accent he tries hard to get rid of -Tries to make his voice sound softer but it just ends up sounding like metal against a cheese grater so he eventually gave up -Has a thick, kind of throaty, gravelly, husky, steady, firm, and croaky voice -His voice isn’t really deep, just a bit deeper than Sarah’s and on par with Five’s -But when he’s tired his voice gets really deep, on par with John and sometimes Six and Eight -Sounds monotonous and kind of dead towards people he doesn’t know but once he warms up to them he sounds a lot more optimistic and emotional -Also calls people he doesn’t know by their last name or rank -Usually sounds really hopeful and wistful -Easily has the scariest yelling voice, he sounds wild and fierce and forceful and really, really loud and it’s pretty terrifying -His voice gets really scratchy, sad, and shaky when he’s scared or upset and it’s so painful to hear him like that -When he’s trying to comfort people he usually goes for physical affection but is actually quite wise and always knows the best things to say -Uses perfect but casual grammar and knowledgeable, sophisticated words that make him sound like a nerdy high schooler teacher’s pet -Also uses Mog terms and slang (if that’s even a thing) and literally no one understands him -Curses quite a lot. Not as much as One or Nine but a bit more than Five and Six -Mutters under his breath a lot, usually in Mogadorian -His laugh is a little weird, kind of sharp and choppy, but nice to hear from him -Rarely raises his voice but whenever he does it’s intense -Sounds like lightning and the taste of mint -Usually his voice is a little toneless like someone reading an audiobook -Talks at a very steady pace but likes to pronounce things perfectly and on-point so talks almost carefully, and likes having all his words prepared -Generally sounds warm towards his friends but can sound cold as ice when talking to his enemies

[lonelyghosts-stuff]

Marvel’s What If Episode 7 Reaction

No no this is the opposite of what I wanted. More Loki! Not less!

If they don’t have Thor being an absolute idiot without Loki being his voice of reason I’m gonna be upset

Wait what the hell I saw Seth Green in the opening credits lmao??? Now I’m just thinking about Chris Griffin

DARCY

Wow they got Jane back too

Soooo how do they know about aliens?

“HOLY MOLY” lmao

Hey thor my life isn’t that dull… okay fine that’s a lie

Sooo Thor is a frat boy?

YOOOO I NEED A SCREENSHOT OF THAT ART WITH THOR AND LOKI

ALL OF IT

Soooo in this world, Odin was a good dude and didn’t kidnap Loki and gave him back to Laufey? (Didnt Laufey abandon him tho since he was too small? I guess in this universe they simply… lost their prince? Lmao?)

Thor didn’t have Loki as his voice of reason I called it.

Night night Odin

Lmao Chad Frigga dipping Odin as soon as he’s asleep

I wonder if they got Idris Elba back for Heimdall?

“We are going to the most backward, backwater planet that not even Heimdall pays attention to.” D,: Thor why you gotta do me dirty like that???

Chris Hemsworth is definitely a better voice actor than some others

Oh yo it be Skurge

Darcy into probing huh?

(Romantic Music Playing) lmao

Man I love Darcy

Poor Howard the Duck lmao (oh yea that’s Seth green)

Skrulls huh

Honestly surprised Thor knows all of these planets. Including the grandmaster??? In the sacred timeline he didn’t even know Sakaar existed.

Wait so, are the Asgardians on good terms with Jotunheim then? If so, I wanna see party loki. Or maybe he’s too reserved for that. I wonder how Laufey raised him? IF WE DONT SEE JOTUN LOKI IM GONNA RIOT

Thor destroyed a star. That sounds about right

“Now that was an excellent party. You know, we lost Fandral for three days. Found him in a barn, curled up next to a baby goat. It was classic. Isn’t that right, Fandral?” “I NAMED HIM GARY!” “Yeah, you did.” “YEA GOATS!” Okay. Screw everyone else in the MCU. I love Fandral now. He’s the GOAT, pun intended

Oh not a star, he killed a whole planet.

I thought Asgardians were supposed to be more advanced than earth but making a tablet is so complicated?

Howard and Darcy was not a pair I thought expected

Yo it’s nebula and korg? So where’s Thanos? How is nebula allowed to go partying with Thanos looking for the infinity stones?

Drax too? Isn’t he in prison? And then Valkyrie? Seems like a lot more than just Thor being an only child is different in this universe. Most of these dudes should hypothetically be in prison or on super serious missions. And I just thought, isn’t Howard the duck imprisoned by the Collector? What’s the timeline for this?

DARCY MARRIES HOWARD THE DUCK? GIRL YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN HIM AND HIS CORKSCREW WANG!

Aaaaaand Jane and Thor got magic and science tattoos. Mighty fast character progression.

Oh? Hookups? That took a turn.

Awwwww Fandral snuggling with a bunch of Chinchilla looking animals <3

Unknown caller?

Dammit Rumlow

Rocket???

Acting director??? What happened to Nick???

KORG NO

Damn everyone crashed at Jane’s

I mean, didn’t seem like too much of a threat

PHIL!!!

Lmao the world isn’t gonna be destroyed by parties?

Oh Carol Danvers?

Okay so…. Lemme get this straight..

Loki and an army of aliens attacking the world? Shield: “nah not a threat.” Robot with robot army threatening to destroy the whole planet “nah Carol has better things to do.” A partying dude from space with no ill intent but just doesn’t seem to understand consequences? “CALL CAPTAIN MARVEL WE NEED HER!!!” Yea okay Shield

Thor loves waffles

LOKI

JOTUN LOKI

HES HERE

LOKI!!!

HOLY CRAP HES HUGE

HE HAS ICE HORNS

See everything would be better without Odin’s interference.

(That’s what she said)

YAY THEYRE FRIENDS

“You’re my brother form another mother man.” YOOOOOO

Loki just sang “Brothers foreveeeeerrrrr!” I can’t—

Aaaaaand fart jokes… “did you boom?” “I never boom. I only boom in private.” Dammit marvel I hoped you were better than this.

LOKI MAKE A WISH

White snake? Lmao where did she get that name lol.

What’s wrong with a party tho? Is this really top priority? Yea they destroyed another planet, but you never explained how

Why doesn’t she sound like Brie Larson? She’s still acting for Marvel Studios so it’s interesting they couldn’t get her for it… unless it is her and I just can’t remember how her voice sounds

Was that punch really necessary? Dude wasn’t posing a threat to anyone.

“You know, there’s a Midgardian word for women like you.” THOR NO—

“PARTY POOPER!” Oh thank God

“This ones for fury” but it wasn’t even Thor that hit him? It was korg and on accident! Cmon carol, I had hoped you’d be smarter than this and more reasonable. Not resorting to violence when nothing has even escalated…

Haha hammer to the face

And the back of the head lmao

BAHAHAHAHA HE JUST SMACKED HER INTO ANOTHER COUNTRY

THOR DONT BOOP STONEHENGE

Dammit Thor

Lmao I love that the countries have their names on them.

Okay just stay and fight here away from civilian population

Marvel really giving us what we want with the most powerful characters fighting

Mary Sue Captain Marvel

Her lipstick has stayed perfect somehow

Fighting in a storm eh? Can’t see how this could go wrong

Haha hammer timeout

Lmao I wanna see Frigga put Thor in a timeout

They’re chanting pooper at her. Is this elementary school again?

Bruh I just realized, Thor is supposed to be acting king while Odin is in Odin sleep lmao. I bet Asgard is going to either be in the best peace ever without Thor or utterly destroyed.

Leave south and north Dakota alone lol

Lmao I love Darcy

YAY GARY THE GOAT WAS SAFE

Wow Jane used the L word fast

Kicking Jane out of the helicarrier? Yea smart move kicking off the person who actually knows anything about this albeit she is a little blinded by love

Giant Loki holding a tiny phone

BAHAHAAHAHA “hey earth girl, you haven’t got a friend, have you!” YES LOKI ITS ME. MARRY ME

Stop throwing phones lmao

BRUH HOW IS SURTUR NOT EVIL EITHER? AND STOP FLIRTING WITH THE STATUE OF LIBERTY.

NO HE DESTROYED HER ARM LMAO

There goes the power grid

NOT THE SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE

Lmao there he goes

WHY DID KORG HAVE A PACIFIER IN HIS MOUTH

Bout time Heimdall popped in

Aaaaaand Jane got abducted by heimdall

Seeing as Heimdall hasn’t said anything, I’m assuming they didn’t get Idris back lol.

How is shield so chill on murdering Thor? Yes he’s destructive but they’re resorting to killing him so fast instead of talking to him! No one has even told him he’s putting the planet at risk! Dudes too dumb to know on his own!

JANE STOP DRINKING

Damn Maria Hill I had higher hopes for you

Lying Thor

Okay so shield trusts Frigga to help, but still irks me that shield was so trigger/nuke happy… seems the opposite of what we’ve seen of them (ugh just gotta ignore it and chock it up to this being an alternate reality)

Ew Drax

Loki calling the other jotuns “ice bros” lmao

It’s also mantis and Yondu!!

wait how did grandmaster just teleport away like the bifrost?

Nice going thor. You big hunky dummy

“MY MOTHER IS COMING.” Good lord is this high school now lmao???

How do they all know Frigga and why are they all afraid?

Damn the bifrost takes a lot longer than I would have expected

No no Thor the tower of pisa is meant to be tilted—oh whatever

Wait, but I don’t see loki helping, is he gonna be up to something last minute to ruin Thor’s cover up lmao?

I don’t believe Frigga would be tricked this easily lmao

Thor you are such a bad liar

Lmao here comes carol

Hahaha how did mjolnir get so trashed

Wow thor is so much taller than Jane

Wow this Jane and Thor seem to have more chemistry than the sacred timeline version ever did

Wait I want resolve for Loki!!

Uh oh

WHAT

ULTRON VISION WITH THE INFINITY STONES?? HOW

No resolution for that??? Well then. Rip this universe too lmao

Damn I wanted more Loki

There better be a Loki centric episode sometime. If they didn’t it’d a huge missed opportunity from marvel

Okay yea looking at the credits, Carol Danvers wasn’t played by Brie Larson but a lady named Alexandra Daniels. Odd they didn’t get Brie Larson.

Probably my favorite episode so far even with how absurd it was. A lot more upbeat than the past few ones with a better resolve to the story imo.

Also, if anyone can provide me of screenshots of Loki from this episode I would be very grateful

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales: Terror of the Terra-Firmians!  (Lena Retrospective) (Commission by WeirdKev27): Launchpad Looses his Last Brain Cell and I Loose My Patience

Welcome back Weblena Warriors to the second part of my look at everyone’s favorite Emo Teen Shadow Lesbian Duck... and probably the only one but hey, semantics, Shadow Into Light, which was made possible by viewers like you, the ultra humanite and a commission from WeirdKev27. Picking up where we left off, we have our first episode that has a different intended order than airing order. 

As most of you probably remember, but some of you who joined later might not be aware of the broadcast order for the first half of season one is, in the academic sense, pretty fucked. It’s not Darkwing Duck’s entirely fucked by a web of badger spiders and a queen snake on top to make it some sort of train situation, but by just sorta airing whatever episodes they wanted to, Disney messed with the character balance so Huey got less focus, not that he got a ton of focus this season but still, as well as leaning into the episodes focusing more on the kids with less involvement from the adults which gave the wrong impression about the series. While it IS very focused on the triplets and webby, the show isn’t entirely about them, but as Frank has mentioned a few times, Disney Channel apparently has this WEIRD thing where they assume kids won’t like stories starring the adult characters. 

Yeah I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while. Mostly how it’s so dumb I could swear Pauly Shore was an exec at Disney Channel. And he might be I don’t know what he’s doing these days and i’d like to keep it that way. For starters, the Scooge comics, while barely published in the US these days, are still popular globally and have appealed to kids and adults for generations and are mostly focused on him, with the kids in a supporting role and Ducktales, you know the thing your directly remaking here, was also mostly about him with the triplets supporting, if a bit less than the comics. Most of the Disney Afternoon was about adult characters, with any kids in side roles in the main cast. And it comes off entirely hypocritical of them to say this when the MCU is easily marvel’s biggest cash cow at the moment, and marvel properties have appealed to both kids and adults, like the duck comics, for decades. And if it’s because the marvel cartoons weren’t doing well , I’ll let you in on a little secret: Those didn’t do well because they looked bland and from what I’ve seen of them felt kind of bland, though I haven’t seen enough to fully judge. Kids LIKE adult characters as much as kid characters, and also like teen characters despite not being teens. Focusing on either is valid and while I LIKED Disney’s youth starring shows I also want another X-Men cartoon before I turn 50, and I bet kids would like that too, with the last one only failing because you bailed on it because you were throwing a hissy fit over fox having the movie rights, and do not get me started on that. Point is this argument is horse shit and should stay in the stables. 

So yeah I do think this episode came too soon and it’s placement effected it at the time and as such it dosen’t have the best rep with the fandom aside from the Lena bits and that includes me. The fact it was very early in the series and the characterizations hadn’t yet sunk in really hurt this episode in places but is it really that bad? Join me under the cut to find out

We open at the movies! Which scrooge apparently hasn’t been too since the 1930′s or seen any on video despite Della existing and being really stubborn. 

A rant for another episode. But the kids just got out of a Mole Monster movie, along with Lena, Beakly and Launchpad. Their reactions are as follows: Lena, Webby and Dewey really enjoyed it, Huey found it unrealistic... says the boy whose uncle fought a dragon made of gold a month or two back but we’ll get to that, and Louie was bored and felt it didn’t have enough of the ultra violence, kids these days it’s not about the gore it’s about the tension. And Beakly.. is just pissed Lena tricked them into seeing this and said it was educational. And the more I think about it the more this sounds like BEAKLYS fault than Lena’s. BEAKLY is the one who likely bought the tickets, who saw it was likely an r or pg-13 and who as we’ve seen HAS A PHONE, and ulnike scrooge probably isn’t so stingy she wouldn’t spring for a smart phone, so she could’ve just googled it, or whatever bird related pun is in this version.. gandered it.. yeah let’s go with that, gandered it, and SEEEN it wasn’t appropriate or walked htem out of the theater and ate the cost if she was that bothered by it. Sitting through a Horror Movie you didn’t research, didn’t pull the kids out of and dind’t bother to even check the poster for or use basic common sense is YOUR fault. And this could’ve worked fine, had Lena talk the kids into begging for it or had launchpad take them and have Beakly find out after, having driven to pick them up as she didn’t trust launchpad to take them home. Instead it makes the former super spy look REALLY stupid and feels really out of character for a SPY to not to do research. And it wasn’t like they decided on this later, Bentina being a spy was part of the character’s backstory from day one and its made clear as early as episode 2 in both airing orders. This is just lazy writing to justify the episode and I expect better from this crew. 

But an argument errupts between Huey and Webby over the Terra-Firmians, a hidden race of rock people living in Duckburg’s discontinued sewer system, allegedlys. So Lena suggest simply going down which gets a disapproving look from Beakly, despite you know this being their bread and butter, and the fact that if she had a problem with Scrooge not being involved.. she could just call him. Exploring fabled rock people is something he’d be into. I mean there’s a low profit margin but it also costs him almost nothing to walk to the theater or have launchpad swing around and pick him up. Just gas which given how much he pays for jet fuel isn’t a big ask. But Beakly soon gets distracted by Launchpad whose convinced the film is real and is attacking the poster a grim sign of things to come as while Beakly annoyed me in this one on rewatch, especially after realizing the above... Launchpad annoyed me both times and for VERY good reason we’ll get into. This provides a distraction and allows the trio to escape. Cue titles. 

After the title sequence, our heroes head deeper underground, there’s too much panic in this town... I mean props to Donald for trying something new but he really needs to rethink his cologne choices. Sex Panther is just.. not a good smell on.. anyone. 

So our heroes journey through the depths of the subway system, and we find out part of why Huey’s so skeptical, as he finds anything that isn’t in the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook to not exist, though the cracks in this already show as he’s added anything that does. We’ll get back to this later but as you can tell the basic dynamic for 24 minutes is Webby being a wholehearted True Believer and Huey being a Skeptical Sally. And Lena is just sorta “Eh gives me an excuse for shenanigans” about it. We also get a peak into webby’s mind as we see her notes .. which really just come off as Terra-Firmian fanfiction involving a war of succession between two sides, the terra’s and the firmies, something based on previous media, and also some doodles of a fictional candy called webby-dings and herself as a superhero, both things I want to see. 

But yeah the first third of the episode is pretty simple, just them journeying, the occasional shift in the firmament, and it’s not bad, and there are a few great bits: Huey nerds out about rocks, and finds them way more interesting than a possible rock monster.

Which leads to the best gag of the episode as when Huey tries to pick up a big sample Webby, annoyed at his hyperfixation on the JWG, asks him to ask his book for help.. which he does by reading it and actually manages to pick the large rock up. This is halted though when Lena screams.. though she really just did it to draw them to an abandoned subway car full of glomgold posters for glomgold products because of course a failed subway project has his name plastered over it. You can’t spell glomgold without failure.. the failure is silent. Glomgold is not. 

The fun is interuptted though by a livid Beakly who had realized they were missing in an earlier scene, after telling the Manager that McDuck Industries would pay for the poster.. and then found out Launchpad also destroyed the toilets “They come up thorugh the sewers!”. Launchpad that’s CHUDS, Ninja Turtles and Rats who raised Ninja Turtles like their own sons, mole people dig or use old mineshafts. It’s basic mole science. Also Beakly really shouldn’t sweat it, I just assumed the city has had a runnig bill witht he company for “McDuck Family and Employee Related Accidents, Mayhem and Shenanigans”. I mean he’s had Gyro on his payroll for at least a decade and a half by the series start, Gyro has leveled whole sections of city in an afternoon more than most giant monsters. Of which several have destroyed Duckburg. It got better. 

Point is she’s livid about them sneaking off with Lena pointing out their some sort of adventure family and Beakly.. saying she won’t see them again, or at least implying it hard. I’ll put a pin in this, as the train buckles and a bit of seismic, or rock men, activity means their stuck. So they divide into teams: Beakly will go try and unhook the train car from the busted cars so they can ride out, Launchpad will go try and fix it, and we get this lovely exxchange as a result

Launchpad: Cool never crashed a train before Beakly: Can’t you try driving it without crashing it? Launchpad: Wha? 

His face in that scene is priceless. He takes Dewey along. More on that in a second. Webby, Huey and Louie are told to stay put with Beakly only bringing Lena along because she dosen’t trust her. So since we have three split plots for a second... let’s split up gang, starting with the most aggrivating, middling with what you all came here for and why this is part of the retrsopective, and ending with the plot that directly heads into the final part of the episode. 

Launchpad and Dewey: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Okay starting with the most infamous plot and easily the worst part of this episode, probably the worst plot in any Ducktales 2017 episode. That’s not hyperbole it’s really that bad and really pissed people off, as fans of the original launchpad felt they made him overly stupid. This is where the airing order’s a problem as putting an episode with a subplot where one of your characters is obnoxiously dumb right up front means they assume this is his charcter and not just one poorly written chapter in a very dumb but very loveable characters life, likely because the writers hadn’t figured out how to properly scale his stupidity with comptience. 

So as a result we get a good 3-4 mintutes if not agonizingly more of Launchpad assuming something he saw in a fucking movie film was real. That.. that’s his actual plot. Need I remind you, he’s in his late 20′s early 30′s. He’s not much older than me. While other episodes have him as dim this one claims he CAN’T TELL FACT FROM FICTION. 

There are lines you have to keep with your characters to keep the audience from hating them. They crossed it about 80 times with this plot and make Launchpad into a gibbering dunderhead who can’t do anything right versus a regular dunderhead whose good at one or two things and loveable enough for us to like him and not care about his numerous safey violations and child endagerment charges. Thankfully this is the ONLY episode that gets this bad and they clearly learned from this, but it dosen’t make it any less of a tough sit. 

Dewey spends most of the subplot with a look on his face that just screams that he’s as done with this bullshit as we are, as Launchpad assumes he’s a mole person and brought along a pipe to presumibly bludgeon him, because wanting to cave his best friends skull in over stupidity is a GREAT look> Thankfuly he does not. And when the lights come back on Launchpad.. assumes he’s a monster because of bright light, GAH, and locks him out before they end up outside and the plto resolves itself by Dewey pointing out by Launchpad’s utterly baffling logic that he could be a mole monster, so Launchpad.. assumes he is. 

The subplot’s later buttoned up as he claims “I love being a mole monster”, again diffrent subteranian creature launchpad, she says he’s not and my suffering is thankfully at an end. This plot just sucks, it’s bad, overly stupid and dosen’t work with an adult character. Someone like say Ed from Ed, Edd N Eddy, or someone who belivies in weird conspiracy stuff like Dale Gribble or Stan Pines. with either of them this plot would’ve been fucking great. I could buy it from Dale and it just comes off as his normal paranoid weirdness. With Launchpad it comes off like he seriously needs help because the episode frames it as if he can’t tell ficton from reality, and his splotlight episode later would directly contridct this and make this episode even more aggrivating, as he’s a fan of Darkwing Duck, and KNOWS it’s acted out by an actor, so why wouldn’t he get this? It’s just....

It sucks, it sucks and I thankfully get to move on to a better subplot

Beakly and Lena: What You Are in the Dark

Beakly tells Lena she’ll never see Webby again after this.. then chastises her when she won’t help despite you know having just said she’s going to force their friendship apart, which Lena points out. She then gets mad at Lena making a sarcastic comment at her. Okay she’s lived with Louie for at least a week in airing order and a month or two in actual order. She has to be used to this by now. She’s insolent.. because you show her no respect, blame her for something that while sure she talked you into, you should’ve known better, and top it off by saying you want to keep her from the kids because they have bright futures and come from good familes and asks who rasied her and her face.. well.

Yeah wheras Launchpad and Huey, more on that in a second, were hurt by this being some of their earliest big roles, Bentina wasn’t.. until later when we found out just HOW bad Magica is to Lena and how much she dosen’t care about her other than as a tool to use. At this point we didn’t know just how much Lena was playing webby, how much she was only manipulating her, and even with her heroic act here we didn’t know if she only saw Webby as her way to break free. The next episode makes it clear she dosen’t and genuinely does care, 100%, so in hindsight it makes Bentina come off as ghoulsih for horribly asssuming about a girl she dosen’t know, and even if she did know about Magica wouldn’t know the full story, just like us, and then BERATING her after already saying she’s going to rip her away from Webby, which itself is PRETTY bad as she’s the only friend the girl has and sh’es doing so on... talking them into a horror movie, which as I outlined was more Bentina’s fault than Lena’s, and leading the kids into a dangerous place whicha gain, Lena pointed out is something she lets Scrooge do. And trust me i know that she actually knows Scrooge, and we later find out, as we’ll cover next month, that she isn’t ware HOW dangerous things are with Scrooge. It dosen’t change the fact she knows they do dangerous stuff to a point and that Lena may just be acting out. It also dosen’t change the fact she drove three children, yes including launchpad, down here with her instead of sending them home with Launchpad.. granted that option isn’t the safest but it’s safer than taking her with them thena cting like it’s ALL lena’s fault when three of the children, again including launchpad, are down there because of HER. Not Lena, HER. I’m harder on her because she’s older, wiser and was “raised properly” apparently. Though given the way she treats a random teen off the street she again knows nothing about and dind’t bother to ask... it begs the question. 

IT’s a good question. I could see the classism coming from being raised in 40′s and 50′s britain, judging by the timeline.. but even then she’s seen the world, and while her nature is supscious, the classit bullshit makes no sense after presumibly working with, and later spymastering for, various agents of various backgrounds. How has she not dropped this in decades. Scrooge very clearly dropped the racisim and homophobia of his time, so it still stands  on her for not dropping this. And Lena’s hurt shows under hte mask for the first time, that beneath the snark and secrecy.. is just an abused teenager with nowhere else to go and no way out being bullied by an older woman whose cutting off the only light at the end of the tunnel nto for good reason but out of classist, overprotective mallice.  My issues, which to be fair probably were intentional in the episode but sitll are a bit overblown, aside we do get an absoluttley tremendous moment later as a car falls on top of Beakly.. and Magica, speaking once more urges Lena to leave her, let her die and let their plans progress. And while that iself is.. dumb, what if someone finds her or her corpse later, especially since Scrooge would likely perosnally want to retrive the body to give her a proper burial as she’s his only friend at this point, or the rest of the family questoin the story?, it fits Magica’s lack of foresight we see throughout the season. But Lena... saves her. While she later gives an explination, and a valid one at that, it’s clear from her expressoin, her actoins and how she does it... that this is her. Part of it is defiance, as she glares at Magica before doing it, her own stubborn nature mixed with her hatred of her “aunt”, meaning Magica just made it all too easy for her to do this. But the real reason is clear: It’s the right thing to do. While pissing off her aunt and getting away with it is the cherry on top.. the real reason is that unlike Magica.. Lena is not a killer, not a monster, and not a heartless vacum ofa person. Even if she doesn’t like Beakly, for good reason.. she can’t, she WON’T leave her to die and leave Webby an orphan again. She loves Webby too much to do that to her and while she may deny it.. she’s too good a person to leave someone to die for something so petty. Even if she never sees webby again and the plans ruined. It’s better than the weight of knowing she let someone who wasn’t trying to harm her and whose actions, while terrible, were out of misguided protection of her granddaughter, die like this. She saves her. And as we’ll see it pays off.. but before that. 

Huey, Webby and Louie: Into the Unknown This plot’s a bit shorter, as Webby and Huey continue their argument, with Louie eventually making it clear, and not even hiding it when directly asked by Huey, that he’s playing both sides with a delighted expression on his face as the movie was boring but this, this is interesting. Which it is. But it’s interupted by dings on the roof and while Huey assumes i’ts just a regular rock, it moves while their not lookiung.. and soon red eyed, horrifying beasts look out at them and the kids flee back to the car. This dosen’t pan out as the car starts to shake and is clearly going to collapse.. and while Webby and Louie are prepared to flee, rock monsters or no, Huey, in an utterly heart shattering image.. stays in place, terrified of moving. 

This is where this plot goes from mildly aggrivating, as Huey’s Skeptic shenanigans can get on the nerves.. to BRILLIANT. See at the time this was more annoying because it was assumed the skepticsim would be a part of Huey’s character and we’d get more episodes of him being annoying only to be proven wrong, as he semeingly dosen’t learn his lesson at this point, looging the terrafrimians in the guide book. But on rewatch.. this plot is amazing.  For starters the plot subtly introduced the defening characteristic of Huey’s personality, one that’s become more prounounced in Season 3: His need for Order. He needs things to make sense: He solves stuff because he likes there to be order in the world and something he can understand, he can put in a box in his head. Like a lot of neurotypical people, myself included, he struggles horribly when the clearly defined boxes of his life and things he undestand have wrinkles or complexities he can’t get. I for instnace easily got it when I was introduced to the concept of trans people or being non binary.. they just make sense in hindsight: given how our brains are messya nd complicated it makes sense some people would be born in the wrong ones, and tht with all the science and medicine we have to correct that, should be allowed to transition if they so choose. It makes equal sense that some people just don’t have a gender or are gender fluid, being both or neither. Despite struggling with non binary prounouns due to force of habit.. I get the concept with no real difficulty. But when it comes to accepting I don’t have to apologize for everything and that everyone is not angry or that anger is natural and people sometimes get mad and you can’t and shouldnt’ fix it.. it’s something I STRUGGLE with even knowing it’s not right, because my brain is just wired that way. 

That’s how Huey’s struggle comes off here.. he reveals he’s willing to stay and die.. because he’s SO scared of the unknown, that the idea of dying from something he at least knows what it is versus something he dosen’t.., so paralizyed by his own brain he can’t figure out the obvious.. it takes Webby reaching out to him figuratively and literally, to show him that sometimes you have to face the unknown. The unknown is fucking terrifying.. but it can be good and it’s better than sitting there, scared and unable to move. You have to try, to grow and take that risk that things may not go well to really LIVE. 

So he does.. and they reunite with the rest of the group.. and soon find the terrafirmains.. who as it turns out once we get some light on them... are actually just goofy looking,  brightly colored, each one matching one of the kids, kids themselves, and Huey reaches out and touches one, which by ET logic means their friends now, and the terrafirmians help them get out. And this lesson sticks. While sure Huey catalogues it and it seems it didn’t.. he’s never this skeptical again. This douchey skepticsim was only for one episode, his fear of the uknown replcaed with boundless curosity and from here on he’s CURIOUS about new stuff as long as it’s not trying to kill him. He loves taking in new experinces, maybe not to webby levels but he does actually try them and study them instead of just fearing them. 

Before we wrap things up, obviously we need to talk about the JWG not having entries on a lot of stuff. This would be corrected next season as it returns to being a big book of everything, but dosen’t completely contridct this as Timephoon! shows there’s stillcgaps.. which i’m fine with. While it knowing EVERYTHING was fine for the original series here, with things being slightly more groudned, it’d just be an obvious plothole if Huey didn’t use it every single time they ran into something and that’d get boring. Instead it’s simply that it dosen’t know everything, and really in the comics at times it didn’t and the triplets found out new things. It knew almost everything mind you, but having some gaps for dramatic tnesion is fine with me and Seasons 2 and 3 decided on that instead of just having it being a scouting manual which wa sfor the best. And even by later in the season hit has guides to getting a small buisness loan, so they already course corrected. 

So everything’s wrapped up and while Magica berates Lena for disobeying her.. Beakly interputps, thankfully not seeing magica and admits she was wrong and invites Lena for pancakes, even taking a crack about if their actually pancakes or english muffins with syrup, which sounds like my own living hell, in stride, having clearly grown. And Lena explains to Magica that this was the better approach: now she’s got the in theyw anted, and is above suspcison for now. Still not so much that an obvious act won’t be detected but enough that she dosen’t ahve to work actively around her anymore. Magica scoffs.. and while part of it is probably rage.. part of it is deep down both of them know she did it out of defiance.. and only Lena knows that she did it for the right reasons... she just dosen’t get why. She probably justifies it as playing the long game.. but deep down she knows something’s changing about her.. and she’s not sure if that’s a godo thing or not. 

Final Thoughts: This episode is as you can tell a mixed bag. It’s 2/3 of a good episode, with the Lena plot, my issues aside, being excellent and the Terra-Firmian plot likewise fun, even if Huey can get grating the payoff is worth it, and the jokes are really high quality. It’s just bogged down by that fucking launchpad plot that just crushed my soul in it’s palms every time it came back. I went on at length why i hated that one but boy oh boy was the hate of that subplot warranted and I stand by calling it the worst plot of the series. It is: it’s not funny, it makes no goddamn sense, and it drags down what’s otherwise a pretty solid epsiode.

Next Time on Lena: Jaws the shark, lurking in the dark, in the depths of the bin one day of a lark decides to get rowdy, get real violent takes a vacay out to Duckburg er.. Island.. also Scrooge faces his greatest Nemesis.. a PR Tour to clean up his image after an unfortunate giant Beanstalk Incident. Be there and be hip to be square. 

Next Time on This Blog: I Tackle a DCOM for the first time for another commissioned review as we take a look at racisim, specifically Apartheid and breaking indoctrination, with The Color of Friendship. See you next Rainbow. 

[gyllenhaalstories]

SOUTHPAW, PART 1: HEADCANONS.

notes: dear anon: thank you for making me appreciate jake the rapper! also i know nothing about rap, so i’m sorry if this is pure trash! i never finished watching southpaw because it was too dark for me, but i took some very loose inspiration from it. warnings: mentions of dark past, mentions of sexual content... this got really long (2k words). gifs credits: alphalewolf. extras: if you want more informations about rapper!jake, please scroll through my blog. i have edited some older posts with the tag: topic: rapper!jake, so check it out if you’re interested. i have taken some ideas and put them in this list. (at the end of the list i provided some goodies!)

PART TWO WILL BE UPLOADED SOON, KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR IT!

attention, attention! please note i know absolutely nothing about rap. i very rarely enjoy listening to rap music, it’s simply not for me. this might be inaccurate and off compared to the actual world of hip hop and other similar genres. i apologize for my lack of knowledge! this is an au in which jake is not an actor or a producer or anything of the sort. his fame, he built it with his music. you must keep that in mind while reading these headcanons or else it will get confusing. also, i’ve taken some loose inspiration from jake’s actual work, but that’s just for the sake of backstory. are you ready to dive in this twisted fantasy?

Jake Gyllenhaal. Known as Hall. He exploded the charts after being picked up by one of the biggest record companies for his first album: Hall of Fame. He was a rookie, yet he was older than most of the rappers you can think of today. He worked his way up undercover. He started participating in poetry and slam nights at local cafés. He became a songwriter, through connections. He sold some songs that are absolute classics today, but he does not care. He did not feel like they fit him anyway.

Growing up, Jake had it rough. There was a lot of fighting at home. His older sister was the perfect angel and him? The absolute disaster child. It was not like he ran after danger and trouble, he seemed to always be at the wrong place in the wrong time, he hung out with the wrong crowd. He managed to avoid juvie on some miracle. What was the miracle, you might ask? He was caught robbing some local bank with his “friends” and the cops, at first, did not believe he was innocent. While his friends were screaming and threatening the innocent clients of the bank, Jake actually tried to help them out of the building safely. The cops arrived at the same moment and thought he was keeping the strangers hostage. He was arrested on the spot. The other guys played the victims, blamed it all on Jake but it was only when Jake wrote the whole story, from the beginning where his friends manipulated him and made of him their puppet to when he felt this adrenaline rush telling him he needed to save the strangers that night. His writing was too sincere, too raw to be a web of lies. The police released him, but they kept an eye on him.

His escape were writing and music. He impressed all of his teachers at school. Talented, gifted, magical. That was how they described Jake at every parent and teacher meeting. Writing dumb sentences that made very little sense and playing with a guitar after school, that did not make his parents very proud compared to his sister who was on top of all of her classes and working hard for a future of wealth and success.

Music was his entire life. He would come home from school and blast music until he was called out for dinner. Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith, Black Sabbath, Heart, Pink Floyd, Metallica, name it. He liked it loud. He liked it weird. He liked it with a deeper message, with double meaning.

He worked all types of jobs, some legal and some not so much. He was saving money for college. He applied. He got in. He started his classes. He had big dreams, too, he had ambitions. Maybe he could his talent to good use? He wanted to study philosophy, literature, music, creative writing... Anything that required thought and depth. He made friends, there. He befriended the edgy punk guy, he had tattoos everywhere, he listened to the same bands, he was quiet but his essays spoke volumes.

Jake was disappointed, his illusions were broken. He hated the format of his classes, the feeling like his opinion and his inspiration did not matter, it was always about meeting some stupid requirements to please a rich professor who did not care about passion, about talent, about originality. Jake dropped out, soon followed by his friend. His friend was hired at a tattoo parlor and Jake hung out there all the time. He would stay up until 5 am, 6, 7, all night and all day long. He loved the clients there. He would write and read his writing out loud to the clients when they were tortured by the needle shooting the ink in their skin. Talented and gifted, they all the same thing.

He started to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

He wrote, not just stories and opinion pieces. He started writing songs, melody and lyrics. He started playing them, he started writing his own poetry too. He was introduced to freestyle battles. And as he fought against other talented thinkers, he noticed he spoke with a tempo, with a rhythm. He was rapping and he did not even realize it.

His career sky rocketed from the moment a music producer attended one of the rap battles. He was famous, he got quite the thick wallet and the connections. Jake was introduced to legends of hip hop. They all influenced him as his career grew to become something overwhelming and terrifying, yet thrilling and addictive.

Hall had a style of his own, though. It was romantic, yet absolutely disgusting and dark. It was aggressive, yet vulnerable and philosophical. He spoke of his trauma, of his hatred, of his envy, of his fears... He used his songs as an escape. He was becoming his own escape.

And his own prison. His family did not care about him, he was a shame, even. Aside from his old college friend, he never built strong friendships. They were all after him for fame and cash. He slept around, guys and gals, threesomes, foursomes... He did not care, anything for some genuine connection, even if it lasted for a very lazy and messy fifteen minutes in the trashy bathroom of a concert hall. Rumour had it he was a great lover, but he was so bad at loving.

Now it gets interesting...

Hall rapped alongsides Eminem, Drake, Kendrick Lamar, Travis Scott... The biggest pop stars were fighting just to get him to rap a line in their songs. Rihanna wishes he was the one singing Love the way you lie, does that give you an idea? He appeared on duets. He wrote more solo albums, sold them instantly. He never left the top of the billboard in weeks, months, if not years. It never really got to his head. He was still that sensitive boy writing about knights and princesses in his bedroom with walls covered by band posters. Fans did not care about this side of him, they loved him for his lyrics about snorting coke, drinking his pain away and fucking whoever wore the tiniest skirt around.

His latest album, Southpaw, was an even bigger hit. Pure filth. Pure gold. Imagine 13 tracks, Cardi’s and Megan’s WAP but reversed. He does not rap about how good he fucks people. He raps about how good they feel. That’s some real depth here, no pun intended.

You met him at one of his concerts. Your friend won VIP passes, so you were standing in the front and got to take a picture with him. You did not understand the hype around taking a photo with this guy, he just stood there and looked absolutely emotionless.

You hated rap, or perhaps you loved it. You did not care much for Jake, that was for sure. You thought he was just another lame rapper who thought he was the real deal because his lyrics were so explicit, even the clean versions made angels cry. The truth was, you did not know much a bout him. You found him too commercial, like he was scared of becoming irrelevant.

You saw right through him already.

But him? He already cared too much about you. You caught his attention as he rapped his songs. He could not take his eyes off you. You weighted heavy on his mind, caused him to stutter and forget lyricvs. Fans laughed, they said he was probably too drunk or too high too focus. Drunk in love, that’s what it was.

There was something about you. Maybe it was the Black Sabbath shirt you wore. Maybe it was the unimpressed look on your face. Maybe it was your plump lips he wanted to kiss. Maybe it was the sight of you laughing with your friend that made his heart skip a beat. Maybe it was the fact you treated him like a normal person even if you had not spoken to him first.

So, you met backstage.

Your friend was beaming from ear to ear, showering Jake in compliments.

“Did you enjoy the show?” Jake asked you.

“For someone who shows no emotion, sound dead inside and look like they wish they were doing anything but making dozens of thousands of dollars by singing a couple of semi mediocre tracks, yeah, it was not that horrible.”

He was up for a challenge.

You two exchanged insults like it was a boxing match. Each round was getting more and more intense. It was no longer insults, it was straight up flirting. You noticed when your bodies were so close you could smell the scent of watermelon chewing gum that escaped from his warm breath. You could hear the way his raced even faster than yours.

You were snapped out of this fantasy by his bodyguard, indicating other fans waited for him.

He remembered the name your friend called out, saying he needed to bring you home before something bad happened.

It was the most beautiful name he had ever heard.

He hung out around that concert hall for the next couple of days. At the bar nearby, at Starbucks, at McDonald’s, anything for the sake of seeing your face again.

And he did.

You were walking out of the record store with a vinyl of Heart squeezed under your arm. You looked so happy. You had paint stains all over your clothes. You were erasing the memories of a terrible relationship by decorating your tiny apartment, and you needed to set the right ambiance. You needed guidance, you found it in the strong minds of the ladies behind Heart, in Joan Jett, in Stevie Nicks. You found your silver lining in music.

Jake ran behind you, he pretended he was out jogging and he mysteriously bumped into you. He grabbed your vinyl before it could fall on the ground.

“Nice pick.”

“We finally agree on something.”

Another round of flirty insults...

... That ended in the two of you fucking like animals on the floor of your apartment.

And fucking on the couch the next day.

On the kitchen counter the morning after.

And finally, on the bed. That was a really special one. Jake was the first person to be on your bed since the departure of your ex. He could feel that you were not in the mood for a rough battle for dominance.

That night, he made love to you.

For, quite possibly, the first time in his life, he expressed his love directly to somebody. “Princess, baby girl, beautiful, gorgeous, amazing”, he showered you in compliments, and praises. The slow movement of his hips, the intense passion in his eyes and love in his heart spoke louder than the music you were playing in the background to set the mood.

You were not just another trophee to hang on the wall. You were special.

He was special too.

He bought you every record that reminded him of you. He bought you collector items of your favourite bands. From the silliest decoration to a new car to replace your crappy one, passing by tickets to exclusive and sold-out shows, Jake had never felt more famous in his life than when he was with you.

His fans noticed the change in his songs, in his lyrics. They were just as explicit, just as rotten and just as corrupted. However, they came from a place of light and love, not of darkness and rage.

He sang about how good your felt when you climaxed around him. How drenched he was whenever he made you squirt. How he loved to taste himnself on your lips. How he was full of love and of lust for you. How he would quit everything if it meant he would live a normal life, for once, and with you.

You inspired so many songs that became massive world-wide hits.

You travelled the world with him on tour. You helped him design his new merch and you wore his t-shirts with pride. You attended concerts in your freetime. You loved staying up all night, painting and drawing while he was writing about this mirage of a goddess, blessing his existence with a smile and a sparkle in her eyes.

He was addicted to you.

He was crazy for you.

And he went crazy on you.

for research purposes and not because i wasted my time hearing eminem talk about stuff i don’t understand so i could stare at jake’s thighs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mP_cKP4OjsA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whV5oQDvVWE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGqC9URTJIQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5imXD1LPnwo

and finally, for good measure :

@gyll-yee-haw​ ily

[purplecraze]

Fugo how do you think your life would be if you date each member of your little group you have like in different timelines

“uh...mmm. It's a bit weird to think of it like that. I love them a lot, but not in the way how I'd want to date them, I think... doubt any of them would really be up for it, either. Mun has-....” He stares at Umi for a while, looking like he could have known she'd go haywhire over romance talk. “....-a lot. To say about it, though. The floor is yours...”

(ooooooohhhhh!!!! *screams of the rooftops* OOOOOOOOHHHH!!! welcome to golden territory!! FugoXeveryone, oh hell yeah!! (just doing the canons for now))

Bucciarati Bucciarati and Fugo would be an absolute power team, they’d be communicating in a way that’s bringing up speculations on whether they’re actually telepathic. They just naturally feel what the other needs at the moment. Long private strategy sessions, spinning around each other and closing in, that end up in shy hand-holding and kissing. Bucciarati always waits for Fugo to initiate it, to be sure he's fine and ready for it. He's very careful with him. Bucciarati knows how to handle Fugo’s self-destructive tendencies well, without making him feel less or like he’s a trouble to his elder. The problem with them though, is that Fugo would put Bucciarati on too much of a pedestal and would lose sight of Bucciarati’s weaknesses. And that’s not a topic Bucciarati would address. But it would take a toll on their relationship without a doubt. In turn, Fugo would brood in silence over how super social Bucciarati is. He’d easily feel neglected. And there’s the hurdle of transferring from high admiration to equal lovers. will there ever come a time where they’ll be on first name basis? probably not... The one time, Fugo muttered ‘Bruno’ in a small voice and Bucciarati replied with ‘yes, Pannacotta?’ it was just so horribly awkward, it never happened again, EVER. Would it last? Yes. But only in the sense that neither would admit on giving up. they both would be running into complications on it, it wouldn’t make them very happy, but they'd be content enough.

Abbacchio This would work well. Fugo is one of the few Abba can hold a decent conversation with. Fugo wouldn’t condemn him for the saltmine coming loose once they get to deep conversations. Abbacchio isn’t exactly booksmart, so he can’t always keep up with ‘what’s this brat spewing on about now?’, but he loves to just sit and listen to Fugo going on and on about this tidbit of historical knowledge he found. Abbacchio is the best person to handle Fugo’s tantrums. ‘no, not now, think with your head *slap against the back of Fugo’s head*’, his tactic is diversion. just force Fugo to completely focus on something different and the topic of his anger will evaporate. Fugo would bring out the caring side of Abbacchio, without it turning absolutely one sided. Fugo would hear Abbacchio out on his troubles too, without getting pushy on it. he does, however, tend to say a bit too much. he won’t catch on to the moments where he’s supposed to just shut up and hold the other. Would it last? no, not at all. the very instant the both of them get too comfortable, they’ll be like ‘okay, this lasted long enough, let’s not.’ because why would you NOT destroy happiness with your own two hands, in stead of waiting for it to crash and burn??

Mista Oh geez, this would be one hot mess of a dumpster fire! It’s a ride Fugo NEVER AGREED to be in, but that doesn’t mean it’s not enjoyable. Mista just drags him along like a puppy, saying ‘c��mon, we’re going to have a great time!’ Mista would show him off. everyone needs to know this beauty is his ✨boyfriend✨. even though Mista tends to be flirty, he is super loyal to him. the moment Fugo would as much as make a sound over Mista talking to someone, he’d be like ‘don’t be mad Pannacotta, you know I only have eyes for you~’ It’s wild and intense and overwhelming. Fugo would not quite come to his right in it and it would get kind of suffocating for him on the long run. Guido doesn’t know how to respect boundaries either. Fugo would start fights, one-sidedly, a lot. both in words and fists. Mista wouldn’t easily be taken aback on any of it, though. Almost patronizing, he’d reply like ‘okay well, you do you...’ and take very little of the criticism. Then there’s the entire tetraphobia matter. Fugo would often lose his patience on it. But he’d also try his hardest to be helpful on it. He would look up on the phobia, it’s origin and how to deal with it. He would tell him it’s not an uncommon superstition and throw the theory behind it. Mista doesn’t usually get it. But when Mista’s having anxiety over it, Fugo doesn’t question its bizarrity and searches for ways to snap him out of it by making the topic either 3 or 5. usually 3. because destroying stuff is easy. Would it last? not a chance. Fugo gets mean on break-up. in particularly heated arguments, he’d be the kind of petty asshole who would take every book, text, dictionary around the house and HIGHLIGHT 4 letter words. ALL OF THEM They’re in the type of relationship that goes horribly wrong after a month, but they forgot that happened like half a year later and try again, failing miserably once, twice, 10 times more.

Giorno His relationship with Giorno is a strange one. The events of Man in the Mirror had Fugo starstruck and he thought very fondly of him since. But it came to crash and burn down when he found that he was the mastermind behind usurping the boss. Fugo loathes himself for the decision he made at that day, but a large part of that hate is to prevent himself from blaming either Bucciarati or Giorno. Because he knows Giorno is dangerous if he wants to. All the more as his new boss. At the end of Purple Haze Feedback, they have a very beautiful conversation and Fugo swears loyalty to him. It was the only way for him to move on after everything that happened. But they were also very sincere and shared memories that others wouldn't understand. He's also the only one who ever called him Giogio. They connect well and Fugo is very reliable. Giorno trusts him blindly and appreciates his criticism. Over time Fugo will grow bolder and says what's on his mind, knowing Giogio will take his shit and filter it well enough. Any initiative will have to come from Giorno's side, though. Fugo often feels like it's not his place to do so. But I don't think Fugo would ever forget that it had been Giorno who initiated the plan that had led to his friends' deaths. Forgive, yes absolutely. But not forget. Would it last? 50/50. there are 2 outcomes: they either spend the rest of their lives together, or Fugo ends up killing him. And I think Giorno would have peace with that.

Narancia Oh geez, where do I even start? They're not perfect, not at all. They fight and argue and it's led to many MANY bruises on both sides. But that's just how they are and if you'd ask either of them, they would be ready to die for the other without a shred of doubt at any given time. As much as they fight, there's also a lot of adoration from both sides. Fugo doesn't even have to try, to see stars of admiration in Narancia's eyes. It fills him with pride and makes him feel so good about himself. Narancia needs to work hard for Fugo's approval. but because of that, it makes actually getting it so much worth it. Both of them get horribly giddy on impressing the other.  A new dance, a fun date plan, a mastermind prank. The most important part for both of them is their honesty. Narancia knows that Fugo would never lie to him or hide the truth, like how his father and old friends had. And Fugo can trust that he can say whatever he want, even without filter. They can both rest assured that no matter how big their fights are, the day ends with kissing either way. A part of Fugo wants to better himself for the other's sake, but it weights him down as well, thinking he's not good enough. Narancia isn't the brightest, but his abundance of empathy and sincerity knows how to hit Fugo just right into believing he's good as he is for today. And if not that, Nara reminds him that he's not a saint either. They’d find happiness in a lot of little things. getting to snuggle for 5 more minutes, welcoming the other home, cooking for the other, singing along to the radio, doing the dishes. all those mundane moments are really precious to them. Would it last? Definitely. They'd have some bumpy rides, but neither of them could ever get bored of the other.

Trish The start of their relationship would be so incredibly AWKWARD. They both have no clue what to say and Fugo feels hella uncomfortable. But bit by bit, they start to warm up to one another. Fugo wouldn't want to involve her in any more mafia business. But for Trish, that week together is a fond and priceless memory. She'd want to know what went through his mind when he was left behind. And both of them would want to apologize. Want to start anew. And would want to get to really REALLY know one another. Fugo's anger is just..... it doesn't exist around Trish. She is super calm and soothing and just knows how to convey a certain energy to him which puts him at ease. Both of them don't like to be touched, so they're very careful with one another, asking permission, asking if the other is alright. They both really love music and share their favorite songs. She sings them as he plays the piano. And when the shyness slowly melts away, they both find that the other is super fun to be with. Dumb jokes, running jokes, ironic quoting, shitty puns. They both hadn't ever expected the other to be so entertaining. They learn new things on one another every day. And they try to improve, learn new skills. Trish would want to pick up on baking, Fugo would pick up on girls' fashion, doing her hair or her nails. Would it last? Yes, I think it would. They need time to heal and feel at ease, but I think they could really find peace and a new life in one another. I think Fugo could even come to love her enough to pop the question~)

[youare-mysonshine]

ocean eyes || justin foley

Summary: A cute, relaxing evening with you and Justin.

Requested: Yes

Can I request something super fluffy with Justin from 13rw? After that finale I’m still SAD so I don’t wanna think abt it at all lmaooo, it could maybe b like before the tapes? Jus something super fluffy n cutesy.

Pairing: Justin Foley x Reader

Warnings: cussing, underage drinking and drug use, mentions of abuse, pre-season 1, pre-tapes.

Word Count: 2.9k

A/N: Hey guys, I do be back! Shocking, I know lmao i’m just as surprised. So I stopped writing for a while because I just kinda lost motivation. I lost motivation for writing for Oscar and OMB. But expanding my blog has been something that I’ve been wanting to do for a while now, I’ve just been a bit nervous. However, I said fuck it and have decided to write for other fandoms. With t h a t ending for 13 reasons why, I figured we could all use some Justin fluff. Baby boy deserved better. Anyways, this is my first time writing for somebody other than Oscar in a while and my first time writing in a while in general, i’m definitely rusty and lowkey nervous to be posting lmao I hope you guys enjoy this and I hope that this isn’t shitty. And if any of you wanna be tagged in any future work of mine, not just Oscar and OMB, let me know!

————

“Jesus Justy, you’re such a lightweight, aren’t you? Do I have to take care of your dumb ass all night?” You looked over at your boyfriend of a few months, cheeks pink, mouth pulled back into an amused grin.

“Shut the fuck up. I am not a lightweight. Besides, look who’s talking. Remember Bryce’s party a few weeks ago? We hadn’t even been there for like 2 hours and your pretty little ass was passed out on the couch.”

You and Justin walked up the narrow stairs that led into the attic, hand in hand. It had been his idea to buy some beer, to smoke some weed and you had been on board with the plan. You had snuck Justin into your room and the both of you had spent the better part of the afternoon drinking the nasty beer, beer provided by Bryce Walker, having chugging competitions to see who could drink the most and fastest. Now, you and the handsome high school athlete found yourselves making your way up to the attic that led to the roof.

“Oh shut up! I was not drunk! That was you.” You laughed, your bright eyes glimmering like two twinkling stars in the night sky. The two of you had worked your way into the attic, shimmied through the window and found yourselves on the roof of your house. You had chosen a comfortable, as comfortable as it could be for the roof, spot and took a seat, patting the spot beside you for Justin to sit down. The chocolate haired teenager did as instructed and sat beside you, your arms touching. He’d since abandoned his fashionable blue and white letterman jacket, the garment laying stagnant on your bed.

A warm evening consumed Evergreen County. The sky was full of vibrant colors such as orange, red and yellow which were slowly being rotted away into a sea of black. You could see the moon just barely beginning to peak out in the sky. It was beginning to look like a beautiful night. Warm and crisp and breezy. Quite frankly, you were a little tipsy. You and Justin. You weren’t stumbling or anything, but it was enough to leave you feeling free and good. You felt good.

Justin held the joint up to his lips and fished a lighter out from his pocket. He hovered the flame by the tip until it began to smolder nicely. He inhaled deeply, held it for a few seconds and then removed the joint from his move. Blue eyes as bright as the ocean on a sunny day watched the plumes of white smoke dissipate into thin air, dancing like ink in water until they simply vanished. He handed the joint over to you and then laid back against the roof, staring up at the sky.

“Mhm. Whatever helps you sleep better at night, babe.” Justin smoke, a peaceful smile on his face. The truth was; this was the most peaceful that he’d felt in quite a few days. Being away from home, being away from that toxic environment that sucked the life and energy out of him. He turned his head to look at you; you had followed his lead and laid down beside him, bringing the joint up to your lips. You wrapped your lips around the end of it and inhaled, your eyes closing for a brief few seconds. You’re beautiful, he thought to himself. The familiar stench of weed had invaded his nostrils, as well as yours.

“My parents would fuckin’ kill me if they saw me up here.” You said, laughing a bit breathlessly. You parents were oblivious, in the living room or kitchen, completely unaware that Justin had been in your room the entire afternoon. Completely unaware that you were now on the roof smoking weed with your boyfriend. Though, you supposed that it worked out better for you, because you could feel yourself relaxing even further, ending a good day on an even higher note, no pun intended.

“I get the feeling neither of them would like me if they saw us up here. They’d probably say I was a bad influence on you. And it’s probably true.” He chuckled, taking the joint between his fingers and bringing it up to his lips again. “I’m corrupting you, baby.” He said, cheekily. He looked over at you with that big and bright smile on his face and you were reminded of why you fell for him in the first place; you and Justin went to the same school. Liberty High School. You weren’t necessarily popular but you weren’t a loner either. You had just moved there a few months, shortly before going out with Justin. and you had immediately caught his eye. He’d flirt with you, do things to try and get your attention. But you made him work for it. You wanted him to sweat a little bit, make him realize that you weren’t going to give in to his charms so easily.

But in the end, he won you over. You couldn’t say no to him. You couldn’t say no to that beautiful smile and those bright blue eyes. Now, here you were, months later. You were going out, happy as can be. But, you had soon learned that Justin’s life wasn’t all that he made it out to be. You remembered one evening where he called you, asked if he could go over to your house and spend the night. Usually, you’d say no. You knew that your parents would ground you for life if they found a boy in your room at night. But his voice, he sounded so sad, so broken — you couldn’t say no to him. However, the last thing that you expected to see was your boyfriend sporting a fresh, darkening purple bruise on his cheekbone that cascaded all the way up to his eye. Around his neck were reddening fingerprints, as if someone had strangled him.

You remembered the shock that you felt seeing him in such a state, and naturally, you had thought that you boyfriend had been in a fight. He had been in a fight. With his mom’s boyfriend. All you could do was sit on the bed, hold a pack of ice to his face and listen as he explained to you the horrors that he went through on a daily basis at the hands of his drug addicted mother and her boyfriend. He looked so different than how you knew him. His ocean eyes that were usually so vibrant and full of life, were downcast, gloomy. That was when you realized that there was more to Justin Foley than met the eye. From then on, you told him that whenever things were getting bad at home, he always had a place to stay with you. And it seemed like your relationships had also strengthened, like you two had gotten closer. All you wanted to do was ensure that he was safe, that no harm would come to him. Even if it meant physically stepping in and doing something. Though, you were sure that you would be no match for the coward known as Seth Massey. Still, you would do anything for Justin. Just as you knew he’d do anything for you.

You chuckled softly at his words. “Well then I guess you can be my dirty little secret.” You said to him, scooting so that you were snuggled closer to him. It was then that your smile melted away and was replaced with a look of concern. “How are things with you thought? At home, I mean. You haven’t spoken about it in a little while, and Bryce told me that you stayed with him for a few days last week. Is Seth back?” You were trying your hardest not to pry, the last thing you wanted to do was come off as clingy or noisy, but you couldn’t help it. You cared. Where Justin was laying on his back, the hem of his shirt had rose up slightly on his stomach, leaving a thick sliver of skin expose. Your fingers rested there, absently toying with the thing trail of hair below his belly button. That first inhale was gradually loosening your muscles. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.. I just worry. I mean.. is everything good? Or do I have to kick his ass for you?” You said, only half joking.

Justin smiled, wrapping his arm around you to pull you closer to him. “I would love to see that. I mean, I would pay to see that shit actually.” He chuckled, taking one more drag of the joint before handing it off to you. His fingers drew little random patterns and shaped on your silky skin, his smile dying down. “Yeah, um.. He’s back. I mean, honestly I just figured I’d stay out of his way rather than start anymore fuckin’ problems. The last thing I need is to get into another fuckin’ fight with that dick. So I just stayed with Bryce for a few days.” In all honesty, Seth actually kind of scared Justin. The man was unpredictable. Violent. He’d hurt Justin countless of times, called him so many names that he could probably write a book filled with them. There were times were the blue eyed teen didn’t even want to deal with Seth so he just escaped to Bryce’s pool house where he’d pretend like his home life wasn’t a big pule of shit. Still, he wrestled with his thoughts of guilt at leaving his mom alone with that scum bad. He wrestled with his thought of guilt because he knew that Seth would and could hurt his mother. But countless of times, Amber Foley welcomed Seth back no matter what he’d done to her or him. And countless of times, Justin was left disappointed by his own flesh and blood.

It was why he was determined to keep you out of that. You were probably one of the few good things in his life, besides Bryce and his friends. You were good. You were pure. And the last thing he wanted was to have you tainted by the shit show that was his life. Sometimes he felt like he didn’t deserve you at all. Like you deserved someone way better than him. Someone who could give you more than him. If he was being truthful, he never wanted you to find out about his home life. He wanted to keep that part of his life hidden and he wanted you to see what everybody at school saw; the popular jock with lots of friends and lots of girls pining after him. The guy with the seemingly perfect life. Yet, when you discovered that his mom was a drug addict with an extremely abusive boyfriend.. you stayed. You didn’t judge him. You didn’t leave him. You stayed. And Justin considered himself the luckiest person on the planet because he had you.

You frowned. “Justin, babe, why didn’t you tell me? You know that you don’t have to hide shit from me, right? I mean I’m glad you got outta there and stayed with Bryce for a few days but you can come to me too.”

“Hey, it’s fine. It’s whatever. I just I didn’t want to tell you anything and make you worried. I only stayed with Bryce because.. I don’t know, I just didn’t want to feel like I was bugging you or something. And I don’t want you to get in trouble with your folks because of me incase they found out that I stayed here.” He explained. “Don’t worry, okay? Everything is all good, I promise. I’m here with you. How could it not be?” He leaned over and kissed your forehead. His words and his kiss had eased your nerves, even if it was only temporarily. Right now, the two of you were together and everything was good. Neither of you had a care in the world; you were with each other and you were all that mattered.

“You know that you don’t deserve it, right? All that shit from Seth. No matter what he says or does to you.. it’s not your fault and you shouldn’t have to live like that.. I’m serious, Justin. I’m here, don’t forget that. I’m your girlfriend but I’m also your friend.” You said. To show that he’d heard you, Justin gave your arm a loving squeeze. For a few minutes, neither of you said nothing. The both of you just stared up at the darkening sky, passing the joint back and forth until nothing was left. Until your muscles were completely relaxed, until your eyes were half lidded, until the only thing on your mind was how good you felt.

“Do you ever think about leaving this place? Just packing your shit and going? I’ve thought about it. We could go anywhere we want. Away from Seth, from all the high school bullshit, away from everyone. It’d be nice.” You hummed, the air growing cooler as you spoke. “But it looks like we’re stuck here. For now, at least. Graduation seems like forever away.” You broke the silence, though your eyes never left the beautiful sky. Justin, however, turned to look at you. For a few seconds, he just stared at you and took you in — how good your perfume smelled and how it seemed to cling to him. How the fabric of your outfit contrasted beautifully against your skin. How relaxed you looked. You were utterly ethereal.

“I think about it all the time. Especially when I’m at home, listening to my mom and Seth fight. I think about just fucking leaving and never coming back. Forgetting this boring ass little town and just.. getting away from here.” He revealed. “Maybe one day, me and you, we can get outta here together. After graduation. Just pack our shit up and leave.” That was a good thought. Leaving Crestmont with you. Going anywhere in the world that they wanted. But you two were still young, and neither of you knew the giant shit storm that you were about to go through. Neither of you knew the horror that you’d endure. Neither of you knew if you’d even still be together by the time you go to graduation.. or if you even make it to graduation. Still, right now, everything seemed too good and too perfect. Like nothing could tear you down and ruin what you had going on.

You groaned, burying your face in Justin’s shoulder. “Graduation is so far away.” You whined playfully. “Who’s to say that you won’t get tired of me by then?”

“Eh, you’re right. You’re pretty fucking annoying.” Justin said, earning a smack to the chest by you. “I’m kidding!” He laughed. “I mean.. we don’t know what’s gonna happen but I like to think that you and I will still be together by the time we get to graduation. I mean.. I don’t know.. call me sappy or whatever.. I just really like you, Y/N.. And you know about me and my fucked up life and family and you haven’t run for the hills.. yet. I guess I’m pretty fucking lucky to have you and I don’t wanna screw any of this up.”

“Wow.. Justin Foley.. Have you been watching cheesy romance movies?” You teased your boyfriend. He rolled his eyes and shook his head, laughing softly. “Seriously though.. I really like you too and nothing you do or say is gonna scare me off. Seth isn’t gonna scare me off either. You’re right, we don’t know what’s gonna happen in the future but.. we just gotta take it day by day right.. Together?”

Instead of initially answering you verbally, Justin surged forward and captured your soft lips with his own. The kiss that you shared was slow, relaxed, a symptom of the weed that you two had just shared. But it was more loving than any other kiss you’d experienced before. You sighed in content, easing against him, but Justin reacted by gripping your thigh and moving it so that it was draped over his lap. You did the rest; without breaking the kiss, your mouths and tongues moving in a steady rhythm, you shifted from laying against the tiled roof and positioned yourself on top of him. Your thigh were sturdy on either side of his lips, your butt rested lightly upon his lap. Justin’s hands fell on your hips, holding you secure and steady against him, almost as if wanting to make sure that you wouldn’t disappear.

After a few long, precious moments, you finally pulled away an inch or two. Your face was close to his, your noses barely touching. “Together.” He finally answered.

“You’re stuck with me now, Foley. Sorry about it.” You giggled breathlessly, your eyes shining brightly. Justin never wanted to look away.

“Yeah? Well sorry to say it, but you’re stuck with me too, baby. You ain’t getting rid of me that easily.”

Justin knew his friends, Bryce and all the other jocks, would call him pussy whipped if they could see him now. Hell, they already did every time they saw you and Justin walking down the hallway holding hands or his arm around you.. Justin would soon learn that his biggest downfall would be caring too much of what his friends think.

But for now, he enjoyed the moment of being tangled up with you on the roof of your house with the moon illuminating you both. Nothing else mattered.

[onyxiana-is-obsessed]

yes i loved shinsou x reader where shes shy!! my heart just kept on fluttering!! can i request the same thing but this time with hawks? thank you

I really, really like Hawks and I need to write more for him TwT I made this super fluffy! Or I tried to, at least!

Length: 1.7k

Pronouns used: She/her

Tags: @neon-tries-writing

Full Name: (y/f/n) Age: 22 Quirk: (y/q)

Picnic Confessions

Keigo Takami didn’t seem like it, but he was always on alert. His laid-back and often carefree attitude made him seem rather careless. He could notice any little change in someone whether it be in their words or body language. People didn’t often understand or know that, which he fully used to his advantage.

(f/n) was one of them, unfortunately. She thought she was being discreet with her crush on Hawks, she thought she hid it well. She always tried to keep her distance, she tried to keep her embarrassment to a low, and she tried really hard not to fall for him. But it was hard and in the end, he picked up on it anyway.

Aside from being ridiculously attractive and flirty, he was pretty sweet. There were many moments where the two just had heartfelt conversations. They would sit on the roof and watch the stars in the sky while talking about their problems in the world.

That was something both of them cherished dearly. They would often tell each other their problems and would never talk about them again. Almost like a vent session. At first, it was mostly all on (f/n)’s end but as the two got acquainted, he found himself opening up as well. It started out with little issues like a civilian who wouldn’t listen to him during a villain attack to bigger things like his trust issues and lack of emotional support in his life.

(f/n) was always there to listen to him vent, even if he was repeating himself. She didn’t care, she always listened to every single word. After all of that, it was inevitable that the two would fall for each other. 

Keigo was able to pick up on it pretty quickly, he was a trained hero after all. He was able to see the blush, he was able to see her defensive postures when he would come around, he would see her fists curl if he was too close, he picked up on every single little detail.

He also realized just how much he liked her too. He hated it when others harassed her, he hated it when she seemed to flirt with other men, and he hated it when she was watching him. He often found himself trying to impress her whether it be with little or bigger things. He found himself trying to do things that made her laugh or giggle or would make her smile in general. Did she forget to eat? He’s already getting her lunch, she needs a little coffee? He’s on it. She’s feeling a bit down? He’s got his dumb jokes and stupid puns ready.

Keigo knew he was in trouble. With his field of work, it was just too dangerous. (f/n) wasn’t a hero, she was actually a civilian he’d ended up getting trapped with.

A couple of years back, he was called in for a villain attack. During the attack, the villain had toppled a few buildings over in an attempt to kill Keigo. It was almost successful. Keigo managed to get trapped in between two buildings with no way out.

That’s when he found (f/n). She was even luckier than him. She had been trapped in the initial attack and had fallen with the buildings. Miraculously, she only had a few injuries. She had a broken pelvis and a gash in her side, none were fatal. Keigo had obviously prioritized her safety over his own and the defeat of the villain. He quickly took her to safety, trying not to hurt her pelvis any more than it already was.

After that, he’d visited her often at the hospital to see how she was doing. They formed a rather quick bond and he found himself coming back once again. He just couldn’t help it, so after that, the two had established a friendship. However, Keigo was looking to change that today.

“Hey, cutie! Come here often?” (f/n) rolled her eyes as the blush spread across her cheeks. She looked towards her window where Keigo floated and smiled at him regardless. He wasn’t wearing his hero suit so it was just a friendly visit.

“I don’t know, I think I do. It is my house after all.” She moved closer, leaning against the window sill as he gave her a cheeky smile. “How are you today, Hawks?” Even after two years of being friends, even after he’d trusted her with his name, she still preferred to call him Hawks. 

“I’m good, I’m good! Say! Wanna go out today?”

“G-go out? Where?” There was that adorable stutter he loved so much. It was her telltale sign.

“Out! Come on!” He held his arms out, a way to tell her to jump into them. She looked at him curiously before she nodded. Grabbing essentials like her purse and phone, she walked back to the window and carefully stepped out, using Keigo to steady herself before he picked her up.

 She wrapped her arms around him as he flew her to their destination. It was a rather quiet flight, which wasn’t normal for Keigo. When they arrived, (f/n) was surprised to see what he had prepared.

On a hilltop, he’d prepared a little picnic. A blanket, paired up with a cute little basket with a small vase that had one lone rose in it. He gently placed her down and she walked towards it, giggling to herself.

“You kidnap me only to bring me to a picnic?” She teased, making him scoff.

“It’s not kidnapping if you willingly walked into my arms.” He retorted as the two got comfortable. They were able to watch the sunset as they happily munched on the sandwiches Keigo had made, which were actually quite delicious.

After that, they did what they normally would. They laid down on the blanket and watched the stars. (f/n) assumed this was another night Keigo needed to vent, they had started doing something similar to this. The first time, (f/n) had brought Keigo cookies, as an apology for ranting his ears off. He loved it regardless. Ever since the two would always do something nice for each other before or after their rant sessions. (f/n) thought this was no different.

“So?” She asked, looking at him. He turned his head, meeting her eyes. They were so beautiful and even now, in the dark, the (e/c) seemed to sparkle.

“So, what?” He inquired, making her chuckle and look back up at the stars.

“What’s wrong? It’s the usual setting.” He nodded, turning to look at the stars as well.

“I think I like this girl.” Almost immediately, the happy mood in (f/n) faded and disappeared extremely quickly. She did her best to keep it at a low, but Keigo immediately picked up on it.

“Oh? Well then, tell her?”

“It’s not that easy. We… don’t see each other that often.” That was a lie, Keigo just didn’t want to reveal it yet.

“Well, then you might not be a good fit. You’d have to see her more often right? Maybe hang out around her more? Might not be a good fit in my opinion.” She answered, truthfully. Both of them knew she was just being honest and speaking her mind… but Keigo had other ideas. He turned to her again, a teasing smile on his face.

“Jealous?” Her character broke immediately and her face flushed a deep red.

“Wh-what?! No way!” She answered, looking away with a huff. His laughter filled the atmosphere as she desperately tried to defend herself.

“You seem pretty jealous!”

“Why would I be jealous?”

“Maybe because you like me!”

“I do not!” She defended, crossing her arms and looking away. Keigo sat up, looking down at her. The blush on her cheeks, the little pout on her lips, the frustration in her eyes, he loved it all. She was just so perfect for him.

Without her realizing it, he’d leaned in close. She only figured it out when she felt his warm breath against her neck. Her head snapped towards him, her (e/c) eyes widening at the close proximity.

“Wh-what-”

“Are you jealous, (f/n)?” She wasn’t able to speak, so instead, she swallowed and shook her head. “Are you lying?” (f/n) shut her eyes tightly and rolled away from him, moving off the blanket and sitting up. He laughed again, leaning back and watching her glare at him.

“Stop messing with me, Hawks!”

“I’m not!” He defended, making her scoff.

“Yes, you are! Y-you’re teasing me!”

“Why? Is it working?”

“Yea-” She immediately quieted down as her blush darkened. “No! It’s not!”

“Then why are you so far away from me?” She looked away, too flustered to even look at him. (f/n) shut her eyes, trying to take deep breaths and when she opened them again, he was inches away from her. He was on his hands and knees and TOO close.

“Wh-what a-are you d-doing?!” Before she could move away, his large wings encased her body, making her eyes widen. She felt her entire being stiffen when he moved closer. His teasing attitude was gone, now replaced by a serious one. He was a jokester, but he wanted her to understand this without having an inkling of a doubt in her heart.

“You did it,” he whispered, staring into her eyes. “You really stole whatever was left of my heart. Got me right on my knees, too. I can’t help it, (f/n)… not anymore.” With that, he leaned in and pressed his lips right against hers.

It took a moment before (f/n) melted into it, her lips slowly moving with his. Unlike his flirtatious and carefree personality, his kiss was hesitant and shy; the opposite. Her hand gently slid up to his shoulder as he moved closer. Their lips fit so perfectly together and it felt so good like it was always meant to be. Both of them felt the butterflies in their stomach, and they felt the weight of not knowing how the other felt lift off their chests.

The two pulled apart and he sighed in relief. Leaning in, he pressed his lips against her forehead.

“You’re her,” he explained, “you’re the girl I fell for.”

“You… aren’t lying, right?”

“I would never. Be mine?”

“Sure, Keigo.” She giggled, making him lower his head with a little chuckle. When he raised his head to meet her eyes, she almost panicked when she saw his tears pooling in them.

“That’s… the first time you said my name.”

[sometimes-i-write-4-you]

Kookie - JJ maybank x reader

Request by @charlieandindy : JJ 5&15 from fluffy prompt list

5: “Can we stay like this forever?”

15: “I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re beautiful.”

a\n: I changed up the wording of the prompts a little to fit better into the idea I had but oh well.

trigger warnings: underage drinking, cursing

Word count: 2957

1:00 PM

I was sitting on the beach with my so-called friends. I don't think that JJ and John B are my biggest fans, but they didn't have a choice. I was Sarah's friend, and from time to time she would bring me along and John forced JJ to come with. you may be asking, why would you hand out together if you don't like each other? Well, that's because Sarah told her dad she's hanging out with me at the beach, and they thought it be better to get someone to keep me company. They could've gotten Kie to do it, since me and her get along decently, but she wasn't included in the very short list of people that know about the star-crossed lover.

That's where JJ came in. JJ and I got along like oil and water. We teased each other constantly, ever since we became aware of each other's existence   – he would call me a cocky Kook thinking he's the next big comedian for that less-then-mediocre pun, and I would call him a dumb Pogue. I mean, I guess he's good-looking, bud why the fuck would Sarah try to set me up with a pretty much convicted criminal? John and Sarah went down to the water, but Instead of interacting with JJ, I drew lines on the sand with a random stick.

"so, what's with your face?" I ask JJ, getting annoyed with the silence. "huh?" he says, snapping back to reality, "oh, that. Nothing, just... fell" he made up an excuse. I could tell it's an excuse. "really? Well, you fall quite a lot. Do they no teach you how to walk in pogue school?" I ask. "ha-ha, very funny, do they teach you comedy is Kook school?" JJ spat back. "no need to get so pressed, Maybank" I reply, smirking at the fact I got on his nerves. "no one calls me Maybank, and I would like that to stay this way" he sighs and placing his hands on the towel to lean back. Suddenly his muscles are very visible, but I look away before he catches me staring. "ya wanna feel 'em?" he asks, but it's clear from his voice he just wants me to know he caught me. Shit. "no, ew, your gross" I reply. He laughs. "oh, is it below you to touch a dirty pogue?" he asks. "no, it's below me to touch you" I reply. "ohhh that hurt, (y\n)" he says, holding his chest like he's in pain. "whatever, Maybank" I sigh. "so, are you coming to the summer fest tonight?" he asks. "yeah, why, would you?" I ask. he nods, "neh, I'm gonna hang out with JB, probably. Drink a little. If you'll be nice I'll stop by and give you the honor of dancing with me". "I don't think they let criminals in" I look at him. His hand is covering his eyes from the sun and he squints, looking at me. "see, now, that was not very nice, Kookie".

That was another nickname he gave me, cookie with a K. "cause, you know, you're a Kook". At first, I tried to put aside our history, but the teasing drove me nuts, and I can't let him win. This game goes way back.

I was reading at my porch. "hey, Kookie" a familiar voice said. "hey" I rolled my eyes at the 13-year-old blond boy. He was hired by my family to mow the grass when he was 11 and they got him ever since. "what are you reading?" he asked. "Matilda" I reply, "it's about a girl who's so smart, and the braincells she doesn’t use do magic". "sounds... logistic" he said back. "do you even know what does the word 'logistic' mean, pogue?" I laugh at him. "yeah, it's when something is logical, so it can also happen in real life" he says. I laugh, "I think you meant realistic" I say and place a bookmark inside the book before I close it and put it aside. "logistic is from the world logistics, which is planning complicated things so that they would work well, realistic is when something can also happen in real life and makes sense that it would be true" I explained to him. he looked at me, confused. "even for a pogue, you are stupid" I said, and grab my book. "well, even for a Kook, you're mean" he replied and went back to do his job.

6:00 PM

"hey Kie" I smile at her. We were friends back when she hung out with Sarah, but then all the things between them went down, and she stayed back. "hi" she smiles politely. Her parents were always happy to see us talking, and mine were thrilled that I have friends other then Sarah, so we had this un-spoken agreement to talk in Kook events. We talked for a little while until she caught a glimpse of her friend, I believe his name is Pope. He's the one who drowned Top's boat. Speaking of the devil, I felt a tap on my shoulder. "(y\n)" he smiled at me, pulling me into a hug. "hi Top, how are you? I ask. "actually, not that great. How about you?" he asks. "I'm great. Why aren't you?" I ask, pretending to care. I may be a Kook, but even I can not stand him and Rafe and how they are constantly beating up JJ and the other Pogues. Maybe that's what happened to his face? He would hate to admit a Kook beat him up that bad and he "lost" the fight. Typical proud man. "it's just.. Sarah. Something feels off, you know?" he says.

10:00 am

"shit, (y\n), knock on the door!" Sarah sighed. Her hands hugged someone who was not Topper, and he was holding her waist. "sorry, if I was aware of the fact you're cheating on your boyfriend I would knock" I say, closing the door behind me and sitting sown on the bed. "now, come on, we have to finish the summer project we're supposed to do together" I say, taking out the books from my beg. "we're kind of in the middle of something…" the guy says. I recognize him as one of the Pogues. Was he the one that aimed a gun to Topper's head? No, he was the one Topper almost drowned.

"actually, John B, I invited her, it's important" Sarah sighs. "oh, and please don't tell Topper. It happened so fast, and I want to break up with Topper, I just.. need the right time, and-" "Sarah, it's cool, I'll keep you're secret. That's what friends are for" I say, "you're lucky I don't like Topper".

"oh, really? Cause she's normal with me" I say. "well, so you know if I've done something? Or like... what, is she seeing someone else?" Topper insists. "Sarah wouldn't cheat, Top" I say, "kinda sad that you believe she will". "cut the crap, (y\n), I know it won't be the first time" he says, a bit upset. "look, I don't know anything, okay?" I reply, and with that I walk away. Lying to Topper made me feel a little shittier then I thought, so I went to find Sarah. I barley got anywhere when everyone started cheering. Ward and Rose walked out of the house. "she looks like lady liberty" I thought to myself, "Barbie addition". Sarah walked out right behind them, and Topper grabbed her hand before I got to her.

They walked over to the porch. I followed them. "hey, where were you yesterday?" Topper asked. "I was out of town" Sarah replies. "out of town?" he repeated her, asking for confirmation. She nods. "where did you go?" he keeps interrogating. "Chapel Heel" She says. "Chapel Heel" he repeats her answer, trying to rock her confidence, "what? with you're family—"no" she cuts him off. "no?" he asks. "a friend". She notices me, and her eyes scream "come save me". "a friend. A friend? What friend?" he asks. "it was me, I believe, we have this history project we're doing together and we needed the state archives" I barged in. "yeah" Sarah agrees, "and actually, we found some really interesting information about the history of Tannyhill, like, the founder was this slave guy, that appeared out of nowhere" she adds. "yeah, Denmark Tanny. He had a son, and according to the records, dude was hot" I say, but Topper seems to have enough. "okay" he says, "I believe you; you don't have to bore me to death". "well, we actually need to talk some more about this, that's the reason I approached you guys in the first place. I'm sorry to steal your girlfriend again" I say and drag Sarah into the house. "well just don't- don't kiss her!" he says. We shoot him a smile to pretend it's funny and close the door behind us.

"thank you, (y\n), I own you big time" Sarah says. "yes, you are. Lying to Topper is not as fun as I expected" I say. "look, I'll break up with him soon. My dad just wanted the night Drama-free" she replies, taking a glass of wine. "well, I sure feel like an actor" I tell her and take a glass myself. She laughs, "yeah, you deserve an Oscar for your performance".

9:00

I was dancing with Sarah when JJ approached us. He was behind Sarah, so i noticed him first. "JJ?" I ask. "yup" he replies, and Sarah turns around. "what?" she says, confused to see him. "I got, uh, a note from Vlad" he says, dancing next to her. "I thought you said you'd stop by to dance with me" I say, slightly offended. "(y\n)!" he smiles at me. "Vlad?" Sarah asks. "yup, just read the note" JJ says to her, and then offers me his hand. "fine" I sigh, and take it. He place one hand on my back, above my waist to dips me. "oh, you got moves" I laugh as he pulls me back up. We move around, dancing. "you're not too bad yourself" he says, based on the seconds we got to dance together. Rafe comes closer to us. "I'm wonderin' if you could get me a mai tai, my friend" he says, resting his arms on JJ's shoulder in a threatening matter. "yeah, Pogue, why don't you make it two?" Kelce adds, stepping closer to JJ. "actually, we're in the middle" I say. "yeah, so how about you guys just go wait by the bar?" JJ says, placing his hands around my waist so that we can go back to dancing. "no, we're going to wait for you to be free" Rafe said. "sure, yeah, meanwhile, help yourselves for some hors d'oeuvrs". "guys, JJ's gonna serve us some hors d'oeuvrs" Rafe says to his friends. "well, (y\n), I wish we could stay like this forever, but, uh, I'll be right back" he says, slowly walking away from the dance floor, "here are the hors d'oeuvrs-" I hear him. "we're actually gonna follow you in here, just to make sure…" Rafe says, and then I hear running.

This kid can't stay put of trouble. A few minutes passed, but he didn't come back. Too bad, it was nice. "I wish we could stay like this forever" his words kept repeating in my head. Did he really mean that? I mean, we're always teasing each other, maybe it was in a flirty manner rather than hateful? For him, I mean, cause I don't like him. I don't think I like him. do I like him? shit.

10:00 PM

I stood outside. "look—look man, I can walk myself" I hear a voice that I recognize as JJ's, "I got legs, can you see that brother?" he kept going, and I suspect he's a bit tipsy. "I really appreciate what you did there, let me just walk myself out" JJ won't shut up. "Mr. Dunleavy, I see you got your drink. Good, that's really nice for you, I'm actually gonna down that" he said, and took the drink from Mr. Dunleavy. Man, JJ got some balls to act like that. I can barley make out the words of the other people involved, but JJ's heard loud and clear. "it's okay everybody! Do not panic!" he calls, "leave it to the men and women in uniforms! Let's hear it for them!" he starts clapping. I'm about to join, but since no one else does I give up. I think he's saying something, but I can't hear him. I come closer to the scene and end up next to Kiara. "Rose! You look like lady liberty" he says. "let go of him!" Kiara yells, "you can't just boot him!".

"excuse me ma'am?" the guard pushing JJ out said. "I invited him" she says, but her parents seem to not like it, but she ignores them. "I'm a member of this club" she says. I'm truly jealous of their little group, so loyal to each other, through thick and thin. JJ pushes the guard off him.  "sorry about that" he says. I'm moving closer to him, but I'm not sure what I'm going to say. "(y\n)! he smiles at me, “it's good you're here, I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re beautiful" he says, and I don't know if it's the drink he stole or his genuine words. "hi, mandatory power hour at Rixon's, Kie. Pope, you as well, all right? Rixon's cove, let's roll!" as he talks, I'm still coming closer. "hey, Sarah's coming, you should join, I think you'll make Kie accept her presence" JJ whispers at me. "uh, okay" I say. "cool" he smiles at me, taking my hand. "all right Kie, come on!" JJ calls, "workers of the world unite! Throw off your chains!" and Kie seems confused. "won't you're friends have a problem with that?" I ask, but I get no answer. "woo-hoo!" calls John B. I have no idea when he arrived. "colonal!" JJ says, saluting to John. "captain!" John returns a salute. "mission accomplished, sir!" JJ says. "hey, I figured we should take (y\n), she's slightly more likable then your girlfriend and Kie would be more comfortable" He adds, and John approves. "uh, not at the Mandatory meeting" he says and smile at me, "but get Sarah and come with her". Well, here's my answer.

"come on Kie!" JJ calls at her. She and Pope finally arrive at us, and JJ spins Kie around and- is that jealousy I feel? JJ notices, I guess, because he says "no need to be jealous, Kookie" with his charming smile. How did I never notice before?

I go to get Sarah. "hey, Sarah, guess who's invited to your little meeting?" I whisper. "JJ wanted you there? So sweet of him, you two would make a great couple" she whispers back, and I hit her shoulder. "let's just go" I sigh. "wait, we need to get maps from my dad's office" she says, and I nod. We go inside. "you guard, I grab, got it?" she says. I nod and she enters the office. I lean at the door frame to look out. I see Ward coming.

"Ward!" I smile at him. "what are you doing here?" he asks. "oh, I was looking for-" he rushes by me, pushing me against the door frame. What the fuck? "-Sarah" I mumble. "yup, and she found me. I just wanted a copy of one of the old plat maps" I hear her makes up quickly, "(y\n), wait for me downstairs, okay?" she says, so I leave.

12:00 AM

Sarah and I arrive at the woods. "I'm supposed to meet John at the Hawk's nest, you go find JJ" she says, and so I go. On my way, I find John, and he point at the van. "JJ's waiting for you outside". I nod and follow the light that's coming from the van.

"hey" JJ smiles at me. He's leaning against the van, but he's leaving it and comes toward me. "listen, I wanted you to be here, cause we're onto something big, but the other guys aren't so sure. JB got to drag Sarah into this for intel, but other then being pretty you don't have anything to offer" he explains. "okay" I sigh, slightly blushing at the compliment, "whatever". "hey, I know that it's kind of weird, I just need to ask you something" he breaks the silence that almost started to get awkward. "sure, what is it?" I ask.

"when you tease me, and call me a stupid pogue, is it because you hate me?" he asks. "I don't know" I reply, "you started it, I just went along. Always figured you hate me. Why are you asking?". He takes my hand, and just when I think I can't be more surprised, he says, "I was trying to be flirty". I burst out laughing. "is this some kind of a prank, JJ? Did Sarah asked you to do this? Look, yeah, I told her this one that you're the hottest Pogue, but i-".

Now it's his turn to laugh and slightly blush. "I didn't know that, and no, not a prank, being genuine here. Booze makes me honest and brave for things that are a different kind of dangerous then my normal activities" he says, hand still holding mine. "look, I know we're not on the best terms, bot you can't deny the chemistry, right?" he says, coming closer and placing my hand around his neck. Without thinking I move my second hand and do the same. His hands move to my waist, and in one leap of faith, his lips crush on mine.

tag list: @mary-grace-milne​ @loveylangdon​

[i-imade-a-thing]

Toad to Redemption & Maddie and Marcy Breakdown!

Ok, I did not expect these episode to be as good as it is. I was *a little* disappointed at first when I realize Toad to Redemption won’t be Sasha episode, but damn, this episode really make me care about Toadstool! Now enough of that, let’s get right into the episodes! (Also, sorry that this week episode breakdown is a little late)

"I know we didn't vote for him, but he turns out ok!" referring to the episode "Hop Popular"

Newtopia seems to use Snapping Turtle to travel around, especially to rural areas

We can already arrows around the carriage, which was revealed later that they've been into fight with bandits

Picture of Toadstool with Golf club can be seen in background (continuation from after the rain's golf clubs found in the Magpile beetles hole)

Toadstool first name is "Frodrick"

The party cracker seems to be a bug? Its head pop off when it was fired...hopefully it's just party cracker the shape of a bug....

The armor that the newts are wearing seems to have very limited visibility

Toadstool have a board shape of his face...with a CROWN

Toadie felt like Toadstool is his mom/guardian/owner(?)

They got a postcard for Toad tower?

Toadstool has 800 pairs of silk pajamas

Maddie is reading the book that Sprig borrow in "Return to Wartwood"

Anne can relate to Toadstool about growing to love Wartwood

The 3rd option is summoning a dragon(?)

Farmer Market seems to be in better condition

Return of the Frog Cops

Polly is laughing as Anne and Sprig got captured by police

The luggage(that can be seen) consist of: pajamas, bath oils, pedicure stuff, evening wear, and under things

Toad's raid horn is in a shape of a Heron

The toads lived in caves eating scapes as bandits after Toad tower has fallen

The bows seems to be made on bug's legs

Bog's dagger is also made of some kind of bug legs

At first I'm curious on how the crew can make me care for Toadstool, then this episode dropped, and here I am, caring for a corrupt mayor. This episode is totally setting up for something in the future. Bog's army will be coming back in the future. I wonder this will tie in with Barrel's Warhammer next week....

Corpse Revival Ingredients: Swordspine, gravedirt, 1/2 drop worm snake venom, golden coral, widow's grave, ticks, rotting corpse, bile of a bird's vomit, and limbs

Some kind of skull(dinosaur?snake?)

Maddie is using the book Sprig borrow in "Return to Wartwood"

Caution on Revival Spell read "Use sparingly on non speaking creature only. Exact ingredients and timing required," so if a character dies there's no bringing em back.

Toad-satan symbol(same as return to wartwood) can be seen on caution page

Marcy's theme can be heard when she is researching plants

Low Grade Fire curse summon a green fire for around 1 second

"Cynthia Coven and the Sorcerer's Step Ladder" is reference to "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone"

EMO MARCY EMO MARCY

"Of CORPSE not Hop Pop".....oh god Marcy is a pun lover

Limps that Maddie and Marcy gathered seems to be mantis legs(i think)

"And lastly a high-five from your new best bud" is in Marcy's handwriting

Maddie's store name is "Flour & Daughters Bakary"

Young Maddie's room have a frog pillow!

Maddie's room door have: "Spell in progress!!!" sign with flowers tape to it, "Keep out" tapes, "No babies" craved into the door, some kind of talisman, and a sign with 3 tadpoles with stop sign

Secret handshake between Maddie and Marcy! In "Anne and Wally," Anne stated that her friends think elaborate hand shakes are dumb. Guess Anne have friends outside what we see on screen too...does Sasha think elaborate hand shakes are dumb?

In the triplets' room there's a drawing of Marcy with big "X" on top, drawing of rainbow, drawing of a star, and 2 random doodles

There's also a yellow fish, blue fish, a ladybug, and a green beetle

A picture of the triplets can be seen when Maddie came down the stairs

2 of the curse spell that was paint all over include "Corpse Revival" and "Love Potion"

"Hunney Pot" seems to be reference Winnie the Pooh's Hunney Pot

Growth Potion spell read "With moss and slime and poisonous vine now thee shall grow!"

Is it just me but that plant abomination's yodelling remind me of "Yodelling - Franzl Lang"?

Dr. Frankenstein and his monster reference (especially how the flee have a bolt and Marcy shouting "it's alive!")

MAD SCIENTIST MARCY!

A scream that was use in many media that isn't Wilhelm Scream

Anne said "Eh you don't miss em," BOI I'LL MISS MARCY AND MADDIE

The same mob(and Polly) can be seen heading toward the giant triplets

"You grow Tulips" -Chuck, 2021

A perfect growth potion seems to grow user to big size immediately...and doesn't make user explode

Triplet skin seems to have a hard time keeping their insides

Maddie seems to take her failure seriously

Marcy tear up a little when Maddie and triplets hug(she totally will cry in emotional scene in games)

Well Maddie and Marcy is a really fun episode too! I really enjoy the interaction between both of them! And we finally know who the triplets in the intro are after like 1 and a half season.

Welp next week we're back to lore heavy episode! Anne will have a therapy session and after 7 months, return of Sasha! Ughasnjdkan can't wait for next week!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #479

“war sends our sons to slaughter  /  another failed attack; there is no turning back”

Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes, a video game when I was little. I was so mad, lol. Do you vent a lot on social media? No. I don't want people to get annoyed with me. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I haven't been responsible for any bills yet. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? I can't/don't do either really, but if I could, I'd probably donate to uhhhh... suicide prevention organizations. As for volunteering, definitely something with animals. Have you ever dated someone who wasn’t at all your usual type? No. What is something you have no patience for? Waiting at the doctor's office. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. What’s that you’re listening to? I'm watching Gab play The Evil Within 2. What kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed? We're a couple. What is your biggest accomplishment in life? Still being alive. What is one thing that you really wish you could understand, but don’t? Political stuff. Economics. Have you ever been tutored or tutored someone yourself? I had an Algebra tutor the last time I was in college, and I had to strangle an anxiety attack down because I wasn't understanding the material AT ALL and felt so dumb and annoying. I never did it again. What was the last thing you said out loud (singing doesn’t count)? "It's really embarrassing," to Mom. It really is fucking humiliating that my ankles are swollen from walking/standing more and pushing my desk chair back against the resistance of the carpet. That's pathetic. I'm trying to focus on the fact it's good my body is even reacting to moving more, though. Is everything you have on actually yours? Yep. Do you ever just randomly drive around when you’re upset about something? I don't drive, but if I did, that would NOT be my method of de-stressing. What was the last act of creativity you displayed? Writing an RP post. What’s your favorite department in Wal-Mart? Uh, I guess where you can go see the plants and flowers. Do you find kite flying boring? I LOVED it as a kid. I'd still probably find it kinda fun. Do you have any interest in visiting Japan? Yes, but it's not a massive interest. I've heard the humidity can kill a bitch, and I am NOT into that. Have you ever run a cash register? Yes. I sucked. Have you ever worked as a server? No. Have you ever done the Bratz challenge on YouTube? No, but I saw James Charles do it and it was v unnerving, holy shit. Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin? Carve. What was your worst experience in high school? My depression as a whole. How much did your senior prom dress cost you? I don't remember. Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship? Three, if you include my current one. Which part of your body is the most muscular? Uh, nothing? What is the first site you check when you get online, generally? KM. Are you good at creative writing assignments? That's my forte. In elementary school, I actually won a I think county-wide creative writing short story assignment. Not to brag, but I've always been very proud of that, ha ha. Or would you rather just do an informative essay? That's easy for me too, but I prefer writing creatively. Are you more attracted to the badasses, or the goody-goody types? Definitely the goody-goodies. The "bad guys" have never appealed to me romantically. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did if I really wanted to ask something or was confident in an answer. What is something BIG you want to do with your life? Make a difference, somehow. What do you think of people who own wild animals? Do NOT just casually take in animals from the wild. That's selfish and just generally disgusting. If you're going to keep an animal generally described as wild and undomesticated, you'd better have a license and deserve that license. Know what you're doing and be certain that keeping the animal in captivity is in the animal's best interest for its unique case. Are you good at explaining things, in general? NOOOOOOOOO, I suck at that. Do you like visiting the mall? Why or why not? Not our mall, no. Its stores suck/are extremely limited, and SO much crime has happened there. Do you like window shopping? Why or why not? YESSSSSSS, mostly on Morph Market, a mostly reptile selling hub online. You can browse TONS of breeders and literally thousands of reptiles, especially ball pythons. They even have a tarantula section I like to look at sometimes. If you lost your job/home/etc., who would likely help you? If I'm losing my home, I'm assuming my mom is gone, so my dad. Why did you first kiss the last person you kissed? We were a couple and I felt like I was supposed to. At that time I didn't see him romantically, but I desperately wanted to. Funny how we're back together and I've no reservations against kissing him now. Feelings change, for sure. Plans for tonight? Girt and I will probably play some WoW Classic together. We've started playing that together, and it's lots of fun with him. :') Has anyone seen you kiss the last person you kissed? Actually, no. Have you ever been kissed in a car? Yeah. Do you think anyone has feelings for you? I know Girt does. Is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you? My mom. Who last made you smile? Girt, 'cuz he's a sweetheart. Where is your mother? She's in bed in her room. She feels like shit. Like, you would think she WASN'T vaccinated, though her long-time doctor has said she'd probably be dead without it while having Covid. Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Stars. Think about your biggest mistake, would you go back and change it? I absolutely would. Are you dating the person you last kissed? Yeup. What is the most immature item you own and actually use? Um. Idk. Do you always take a shower after you have sex? I... didn't know people did this? Like I know women are advised to pee after sex, but full-on showering? No. Do you like chocolate popsicles? Oh hell yeah. Are your parents proud of you? They claim to be. I don't see how. Are you interested in the ocean? Yeah; it's inarguably so fascinating. Hot dogs or hamburgers? I prefer burgers. Have you ever been to a Chinatown in any of the cities you’ve been to? No. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. Do you have any dietary restrictions? No. Have you ever turned down a job offer? No. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? A dog named Cali that was a boxer mix. Do you ever pray, even if you don't believe in God? What exactly is the point if you don't believe in God...? Anyway, I don't. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have you ever gotten stuck in quicksand before? No. What's the shortest or longest length you've ever had your hair grow? To around the small of my back. The last nest you saw - was it a bird nest or a hornet's nest? I think a bird's? Do you enjoy Jeff Dunham? I don't know if I'd like him as a person, but I do think he's a funny comedian. Who is your favorite character from Frozen? I was never into the movies. I do think Elsa is kinda cool (no pun intended, lol), though. I like that she has her flaws. Did you finish high school? If not, do you plan on doing so? I did. Have you been in a simulator that mimicked a submarine or rollercoaster? A rollercoaster, yes. How often do you go out to eat instead of cooking for yourself? Mom and I try to avoid fast food for our health. We do a pretty good job at it, but sometimes for convenience's sake, we do eat it. What is the largest family of siblings that you know of? This is probably gonna come across as very judgmental, but... it really bothers me. I don't know how many kids she has now, but one of the dance moms from the studio has SO many children; I've completely lost count. Now if you want that many kids and can provide for them, that's cool. But that's not the case. She uses the "if God wants me to have a baby, then it will happen" mentality, and I'm just like... um, no hunny. Poor choices are leading to kids you're not adequately providing for. She uses no methods of protection and literally has twins whose room is a fucking closet. Ugh it just really bothers me. What foreign languages were offered to you at school? A whole lot. Only Spanish and I believe French were offered as in-school courses, but there were lots of online classes. If you were required to take a course right now, what would you choose? Photography. Team Biden or Team Trump? Over my dead body would I have voted for Trump. My vote went with Biden. What is an animal native to your country that may not exist in others? Bison are factually exclusive to North America. Note that bison and buffalo are different. What are some of your favorite autumn activities? Taking pictures of fall scenery. <3 What are some of your favorite winter activities? Going out in the snow. :') Especially with a camera. Do you eat a shit-ton the week before your period? uuugggghhHHHHHH yes Wendy's, McDonalds, or Burger King? Wendy's. What's the weirdest question you've ever asked Alexa? I've never asked Alexa anything. Do you prefer your apple cider to be warm or cold? I've actually never had it. Do you prefer your coffee hot or iced? Y'all know the story of me and coffee. Can you sing the alphabet backwards? I can't. Have you ever sent flowers or chocolates to yourself before? Ha ha, no. Is there any meat that you won't eat? Yeah, fish and ANYTHING that comes from a wild animal. Does your cat use anything other than it's scratching post as a scratcher? When we got him a scratcher WITH CATNIP, the lil butthead ignored it. -_- He scratches the carpet instead. Did you go through a vampire craze before? Are you still going through it? Nah. Have you ever forged your parents' signature on a poor test paper, etc? No. Has a bird ever pooped on you before? Omg, no. I'd die. Have you ever been sprayed by a skunk before? No. Are black jellybeans delicious or disgusting? I HATE them. Have you ever rolled down a grassy hill before? I have! I miss that.

[miniwolfsbane]

JWCC Sammy Gutierrez and body positivity

THIS IS VERY LONG! (I just have a lot of feelings!) Also, this is personal and doesn’t talk a lot about Sammy and is just one big rant. 

Comment I wrote on the S2 preview “Also, shout out to the creators for making Sammy heavy, but it not effecting or having anything to do with her character. OR have her be obsessed with food. I'm sure other 90s kids remember the fat kid trope. Not doing fat logic, but we've come so far from the old days! As a woman who had that kind of body type growing up (had skinny friends, developed early, etc. it all was uncomfortable for many reasons. Long story.), it's amazing to see this kind of...semi-body positivity that's quiet and unspoken in a show aimed at everyone, including girls.  If I had seen this character at 13, my mind would've been blown. Kudos!!”

I’m reeeally tired and getting to that point where I get emotional about stupid stuff. However, this isn’t that stupid...maybe? 

We’ve reached a milestone, a kind of apex in American society, where being fat is no longer a running gag and it’s celebrated to be thick and/or a healthy weight. (Not to say skinny isn’t cool and it’s sure as heck better than carry 90+ pounds if it can be helped, but, as I said on Youtube, lots of 90s fat tropes were had, were they not? Every body type has their problems, blessings, and issues.) But, health is also a big issue and losing weight is too. I’m all for losing weight, but I also know what it was like growing up a fat kid, then a fat teenager in the 90s and 2000s when we didn’t have representation and people like Tocorra Jones, Melissa McCarthy,  Ashley Graham and Rebel Wilson around to promote different body shapes and/or being a little heavy or curvy while still being healthy. (Melissa and Rebel have lost weight and I applaud them full circle!)

Anyway, It is downright uplifting to see Sammy in JWCC like this! Being “thicker” than her two female friends doesn’t slow her down or hinder her in anyway. She is not obsessed with food. She is not constantly eating. Likewise, she has an actual personality and an interesting secret and backstory. The fans seem to love her. She is not dressed immodestly and she doesn’t seem to have ANY negative opinions of her body type, for now. Likewise, in a fast paced show like this, no one is talking behind her back about her weight or eating habits (again, for now. This could change in upcoming seasons, we don’t know.) Come to that, she’s fairly intelligent and isn’t dumb. Like, how many times have we seen a fat, dumb person in a show. (I’m looking at you Chris Griffin and Cleveland Jr!) This could’ve gone SO SIDEWAYS in her character creation any number of ways and I’m just amazed it didn’t. However, this maybe is attributed to the show being an action show and not a comedy? In any case, I’m so glad girls of this generation can see it. I wish I’d had it at their age. (It’s probably because her VA is heavy, but heavier than how Sammy is portrayed, to my knowledge. I’ve only seen her years ago on Disney channel.  Who cares why? It happened and I’m glad.) Please be assured, I’m NOT trying promote fat acceptance, just inclusivity, relatability, and representation. 

Like I say all the time, I’m not super heavy. I never was. As I said in the comment, I developed early and had mostly skinny friends growing up. I remember being about 11 and hosting my first sleepover and someone pointing to my arms at my stretch marks, asking what they were. I wasn’t traumatized and they didn’t tease me, but I was a little (a lot?) self-conscious. Like, can we please get the idea out of our head that ONLY pregnant women get stretch marks?? (Cocoa butter companies, hello?!) They can happen to girls that grow tall fast or, like me, you can have them all freaking over because the puberty button in your brain got stuck. (LOL?) And calling them cute things like skin lightning doesn’t really help. My limbs and body still look weird.

I don’t remember seeing many characters shaped like me in shows as a kid or teenager.  Unless maybe Simpsons characters with their pudgy bellies who may be some of the most average, realistic bodies in all of fiction, really. We can’t all be supermodels and body builders. Sailor Moon girls were all thin and leggy. None of the Magic School Bus kids were pudgy, all average and healthy (which is probably a good thing in a way. IDK. Representation is great, but so is promoting healthy eating and healthy shapes. Everything has their place.)  Disney characters were mostly animals at the time, and I didn’t see Recess until Highschool or something at 3 am, and even then, there was only Mikey. Mikey was progressive, but he wasn’t female. Closest I got was Ariel’s (Little Mermaid) sister, Adella ( https://littlemermaid.fandom.com/wiki/Adella) and even then, she had no belly and never animated the same outside of the series with not much character development or anything.

Cassie from Animorphs might’ve been a close second, but, though she was my favorite female character as a kid (not anymore), it was hard to say “OMG, she’s shaped like me!” as it was a book series with few visual aides outside of covers, posters and some toys. 

I remember seeing the singing group Cherish for a few seconds on TV once. A bunch of thick, busty, heavy black girls and I was SO EXCITED because for those few seconds on TV, there were girls that looked like me! Then some years later I found out a few of them lost weight and I was like bleh. (I didn’t follow their music or anything, not even sure how I saw them again.) Not that disapprove, health is essential, and I encourage people to lose weight for themselves, but it was nice having some representation. Except health needs to come first. It’s a two-edged sword if I ever saw one.

Don’t get me started on the sheer amount of girls with small/flat chests on TV. (No offense! See above about body types. Again, it’s about representation and seeing someone that looks like you that was not common in the 90s and early 2000s) I’m picky though. I wanted to see more representation, but the minute I saw it, I was not impressed or annoyed. To my better judgement, I saw a few episodes of something I won’t name with a curvy lead. I found her times dressing up as a man unconvincing and confusing because of her body shape. Other times I was, for lack of a better word, slightly appalled at her own size, even though she somewhat looked like me. I know, it makes no sense. Other times, I was mad at Lizzy Mcguire or another show for having skinny characters with A-cups while I was, er, way past training bras and smaller bras by 14/15 when the show was new.

Swearz, I developed (pun not intended!) this weird conspiracy theory that Disney execs have to look at the Star’s mom and other women in their family before casting a girl to make sure she stays thin/average chested for the shows entire run. Outside of one show, all shows in that era had the same thin girl body type. (And not much representation for different races for Disney back then, but that’s another debate for someone to better handle, not me.) 

All that said, my shape was attributed to four things: Diet, genetics, lack of exercise and my mom’s cooking. Not sure how much I subscribe to the “genetics effect body fat theory”, but the “genetics effect body shape” is definitely a thing! And hormones in chicken. My family said all I ever wanted when I was little was McDonald’s chicken nuggets all the time, so I think that had some play in how I turned out. It’s probably too much to get into here, and no one cares about my sob story, so let’s move on.

Sammy is awesome and I hope to see more characters like her from other studios in the future. Every body type needs representation, but every body also deserves to be healthy and nourished.

EDIT: WARNING: THE VIDEO AND  THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPHS TALK ABOUT ED AND CALORIE RESTRICTION!!

OMAHGAWWWD! I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING ROTTEN IN THE INDUSTRY, Y’ALL!! (Okay, that’s obvious, but you don’t really give it thought in your day to day life.)

The video gives a summary of Jenette McCurdy’s time on iCarly and the horrors she’d been going through in her younger years, which included an eating disorder and restricting calories to an (alleged) 900. Dear lord, that is sickening.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCE1x_chT34

Granted, I would take this with a small grain of salt as it’s from the internet, and undoubtedly, many actresses, probably more than we realize, have ED’s. If they would start encouraging them to be at healthy weights, things like this wouldn’t happen. Frick Nickelodeon and frick the acting industry!! 

So, this was what I was trying to convey. Casting and producers need to find that middle ground. Don’t promote fact acceptance, but do not force your actors/actresses to be stick thin either.  I could go on a huge tangent, but I don’t have the brain power right now. If you have an ED or know someone that does, I strongly encourage you to get help. I’ve been in tight spots like that (I knew of people or knew people), but getting REAL help from a doctor, professional, or someone with a good head on their shoulders is better than hiding it or keeping it secret. Ten years down the line, you’ll be thankful you did and not have regret. No one is perfect, but sometimes you have to fight harder to find a solution and someone that will actually listen to you and take your concerns to heart. 

If I get negative comments, I’ll be deleting this and no one will be able to enjoy it. Think before you type and don’t be a jerk.

[chappedandfadedvds]

Jan 16th, Saturday 15:16

Jens was actually laughing. 

Genuingly laughing, when Lotte told them some really bad joke she had heard in school. A dumb pun. But it had been the fourth in a row and they had finally reached the breaking point.

He sat at the table, an half emptied plate of apple slices between him and his little sister, while Lies roamed the kitchen to write down a list of groceries to buy on her way home. She planned to visit their mom and it had weighed heavy on her, when she had admitted this to Jens early that morning infront of the bathroom mirror.

Lies had told him, how much it hurt to live so far away and unable to travel and come home. She would have loved to help Jens over the past year, even if it would just have been for a week here and there. It was the reason why she had been so desperate to secure the position to be send to Brussels. 

Not that it been an actual problem, her wokrplace knew very well about her family situation. Still, Lies had said, that the moment she had recieved the plane tickets only a week ago, she had broken down in her boss’s office. 

Lies was here though now, thankful for the opportunity to bid farewell to their mother in person at last.

Jens understood the relief his older sister had explained to him. He couldn’t even entertain the thought of not being able to see his mom, while prohibited to visit inmidst the pandemic.

„Oh, I know! There is this one dish Theo and me always make as comfort food. Quite easy, but really nice in winter, with a good hearty broth. I’m going to do that.“ Lies declared vague from where she stood behind the opened door of the fridge. Mumbling something under her breath, while she noted things down on the piece of paper on the counter next to her.

„I don’t know if I should trust you to actually cook something delicious.“ Jens mocked, reminded of the many times that Lies had simply ordered take-out on every evening she was watching her siblings. Cooking was for loosers, she always had said, and simultaneously implied that she was at an absolute loss in the kitchen.

„Says the person who had managed to let noodles get burned to crisps while boiling them.“ 

„I was ten.“ He defended, cackling when Lies snorted and their gazes met. So much time had passed, but Jens was assured that the loving arguments between them would never cease to exist.

„But Jens is really good now. He makes like a super good riceotto“ Lotte chimed in, the wide smile on her face somewhere between amused and puzzled. She hadn’t much memories of Jens and Lies together, so it was reasonable for her to be unsure why it was funny. Their little sister had been only five when Lies had left. 

She had cried for a whole week, but with time passing, she had stopped even mentioning Lies alltogether. She knew her, yes, but she couldn’t tell what they had done or talked about together any longer. And maybe it was a little sad, Jens thought, but it also meant that Lotte wouldn’t miss Lies as much as Jens sometimes did.

„Risotto.“ Jens corrected, while he leaned a little over to ruffle through her hair. She slapped his hand away, stucking out her tounge at him in jest.

„Well, maybe Jens should cook then. I won’t complain.“

„No way, you are the oldest now, you cook.“ Jens quickly proclaimed his flawless reasoning against the mere suggestion Lies had voiced. His older sister barely contained herself from laughing again, instead nodded along, as she continued to write even more things down. 

Jens knew that she had come with a rented car from the airport, but the list just grew and he wasn’t sure, if he should tell her off. It looked like she wanted to stock the kitchen for an entire month.

The mood turned a little quieter, only Jens’s spotify playlist filled the house with some comfortable noise, while Lotte sketched some abstract scenes on paper. Jens’s eyes flicked over every once in a while, but it appeared like there wasn’t much reason behind it.

He yawned and stretched his arms, a loud cracking sound in his shoulder earned him a gleeful glance from Lies, who he flipped off. Despite it, he felt younger today. He felt lighter. His breathing wasn’t hurting as much, his thoughts came easier. 

Lies and him had talked for hours yesterday. He had forgotten how close they used to be. Which was wierd given their age difference and them not even being the same gender. But somehow they always stuck together. Jens wished she would stay.

The day they had bid goodbye at the airport had been locked somewhere into his head. Even after three years he didn’t dared to touch it.

This all would be easier if he had Lies to live with them. But it wasn’t reality and Lies had made him understand that it was okay to be scared. She had admitted at three in the morning, when they had headed to bed, that it had taken her month to figure out how to live on her own. Especially after she had moved to a different continent, while leaving her family behind. Jens could do this too.

He still had all of his friends around. He had this house. He had Lotte.

He just had to start somewhere.

„I think I’m going to call Lucas.“ Jens suddenly said. For a moment he had considered the possibility that he hadn’t spoken aloud at all. However, it became clear that he had, as both his sister’s heads spun towards him in an instant.

„Really? That came out of nowhere. But good for you. I think you should.“ Lies said, a little startled by his surprising change of demeanour. Only this morning he had still sat depressed and hunched over in pity in front of his breakfast. Jens wasn’t even sure himself where the urge to do it had popped up from.

„Yes!“ Lotte followed up quickly with bright wide eyes. Of course she would be excited.

„Okay. I’m going to do it.“ He declared, more to will his confidence in excistense than aynthing else.

He was nervous. Maybe Lucas wouldn’t even pick up? Jens wasn’t even sure, if Lucas’s mom was still around. This was a bad idea. 

The whole conversation from thursday sprung back into his mind. The hurt in Lucas’s eyes and the anger in his words. All caused by Jens. What if the other boy needed more time? What if he wouldn’t even pick up?

The fear must have shown on his face. Jens was sure, because Lies stood suddenly next to him, to push his phone into view. He had been starring at the surface of the table, unmoving, even when Lotte had come closer too, with a hand resting on his shoulder.

„Come on. Call.“ Lies demanded, despite the gentleness in her voice, it still made him take the phone into his hand.

„Alright.“

„Do you want us to leave?��

Good question, Jens thought, unsure how to answer. But then, he wasn’t planning on having the needed conversation over phone anyway. He was scared that words would get twisted and intentions screwed by the missing connection one had face to face.

So he shook his head.

The phone rang four times. 

Nothing.

He tried again. Just this second time and then he would put it away again.

It merely managed to make a sound, before the call was answered.

„Jens?“

He sat at the table, his breath on hold, as he listened to the boy on the other end. Jens wouldn’t cry from solely his name being spoken by the person he missed so much for only a couple of days now. He wouldn’t.

That was at least what he desperately told himself.

„Jens? Are you there?“

There was worry in the voice and Jens didn’t trust it. He didn’t deserved it. But he was on the phone, he remembered. He had been the one to iniiate the conversation. He should probably say something.

„Hi.“ 

Jesus. His voice had certainly cracked, like some fifteen year old teenanger going through puperty. This was embarrassing. But it also helped. Lucas was definitely snorting on the other end of the call. And the three siblings all fell into laughter, with Lies wheezing at her brother’s pitiful attempt to make things right. His sister’s really tried to keep quiet, but it kind of was in vain. Lucas must have heard them.

It took Jens a solid minute to speak again. 

„Sorry, about that.“

„It’s alright.“ Lucas said as he took an audible deep breath to calm down to continue. The faintest amusement in his voice still there, even if the mood had turned serious again. „I am really glad that you called.“

It was the earnesty that struck Jens the most. It came unexpected. He had planned to force Lucas to hear him out if he had to. In the strong assumption that the younger boy didn’t wanted to talk to him in the first place. Apparently Jens had been wrong. Again. Like so often. It seemed to become a habit.

„I’m glad you picked up.“

„Of course.“ Lucas replied without any hesitation, it made Jens smile a little. It felt so good to hear him again. To hear him at ease. Jens pushed away the intruding thought in his head, that told him that it probably had to do with Jens’s absence. He hated that he somehow could belive it.

„I thought, maybe we can talk?“

There was a brief pause on the other end, as the call fell silent.

„I’d like that. When?“ Lucas asked and Jens noticed that he hadn’t thought that far ahead.

„Uhm, when?“

„Yes, when?“ 

The amusement in the younger boy was back. Jens could imagine Lucas shaking his head at the silly and ungraceful awkwardness Jens presented. There was a hand in his view, that lead him to look up at Lies, who tried to get his attention.

„Tomorrow.“ She whispered, nodding her head quickly, while she pointed a finger to herself. „I can watch Lotte.“

Jens loved Lies so much, it was ridiculous.

„How about tomorrow? I could come over to yours.“

„Okay. Be here at one maybe?“

„Yes, that works.“ He affirmed in a heartbeat. Jens would have agreed to any proposed time. It wouldn’t have mattered as long as he got the chance to talk to Lucas. He had an idea what he wanted to say after last night’s conversation with Lies. He knew that it wouldn’t be perfect or maybe even work in his favour, but it would be a start.

„I’ll see you tomorrow then.“ Lucas said.

„Tomorrow.“

They sat in silence for a moment. Usually Jens would have told him that he loved him. But it didn’t feel right, even when the feelings were clearly there. It felt too much to voice it. They hadn’t broken up yet, but it wasn’t as if they were in a relationship still either. So he simply waited. 

And then there was a clicking sound and the call was ended.

__ __ __ tagged: @odi-et-amo85, @tayspots

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really THAT Bad?

I’m going to warn you all now. This one is going to get a bit angry at the end. Normally I would try and remain as professional as possible, but in this case, I don’t feel like I would be able to.

Batman & Robin is a film that has lived in infamy since its release in 1997. Upon release, it was critically reviled, and this hatred of the film continued long into the modern day, where it frequently tops “worst films of all time lists” to the point where it actually is listed on the Wikipedia page for “List of films considered the worst.” It was nominated for at least 11 Razzies but only won a single one, and it went on to be a frequent punching bag on the {REDACTED] Critic’s web show, where he would get irrationally angry at the mere mention of the Bat Credit Card. In contemporary reviews, Mick LaSalle of The San Francisco Chronicle stated “"George Clooney is the big zero of the film, and should go down in history as the George Lazenby of the series,” which is less of a criticism and more of a compliment, if I’m being totally honest.

Most of the stars would take a negative stance towards it as well, with legend stating that if you tell George Clooney that you saw the film in theaters, he will refund you for your ticket out of his own pocket. Chris O’Donnell likewise is not particularly fond of the film, stating "It just felt like everything got a little soft the second time. On Batman Forever, I felt like I was making a movie. The second time, I felt like I was making a kid's toy commercial." And, perhaps most depressingly, Joel Schumacher himself was apparently very apologetic for the film, though this may or may not have come about because of years and years of vitriol being directed at him for making this film.

In the wake of Mr. Schumacher’s passing, I decided to re-watch the film, as I am famously rather fond of it, and I am going to tell you all why the answer to the question “Is it really THAT bad?” is a loud, resounding, NO.

THE GOOD

There’s honestly quite a lot to like here, more than you might think. I think first and foremost what you need to understand going in is that this is a silly, cartoonish take on the Burton style, blending the silliness and camp of the West series with the drama and aesthetics of the Burton films, all while adding some over-the-top, colorful flair. John Glover, who appears in the film as a cartoonish mad scientist, even has gone on record as saying "Joel would sit on a crane with a megaphone and yell before each take, 'Remember, everyone, this is a cartoon'. It was hard to act because that kind of set the tone for the film”… the last sentence makes the statement very baffling, but at least even the actors were aware of what they were doing. If this doesn’t sound appealing, well, the opening is sure to warn you off, as it is a suiting up montage with various shots of the firm butts, large codpieces, and stiff batnipples of the Dynamic Duo. The movie is very upfront about what you’re in for.

On the subject of the infamous batnipples, Schumacher stated "I had no idea that putting nipples on the Batsuit and Robin suit were going to spark international headlines. The bodies of the suits come from Ancient Greek statues, which display perfect bodies. They are anatomically correct." It seems a very odd choice, but it’s pretty clear that he meant it as an amusing little design choice and nothing more. Of course, this hasn’t stopped everyone and their mother from spewing homophobic comments about how he was purposefully making the film gayer, even from star George Clooney, who has said that he played Batman as a gay man and was told by Schumacher Batman is gay. It’s so disgusting that people did and continue to do this, because honestly, the costumes are fine, and even if they are meant to be fanservice… so what? O’Donell and Clooney’s asses look nice, as does Alicia Silverstone’s when she dons a suit. The fact hers is just as form-fitting as the other two really shows that the whole idea Schumacher did it because he was gay is ridiculous; the man was very egalitarian about the fanservice in the movie.

Whatever else Clooney says, he does a pretty great job as Batman and Bruce Wayne. His speech at the end of the film where he talks to Mr. Freeze and reminds him that he is a good man and offers to help him is honestly one of the few moments in any Batman film where Batman actually feels like the one from the animated series, a man who fights crime but also wants to help the people he’s trying to stop. Clooney just has a very natural charisma that lends himself to playing a hero, and while there are a few awkward moments in the performance, he captures the fun and charm a more lighthearted Batman should. Michael Gough’s last turn as Alfred is also surprisingly poignant, and a lot of mileage is gotten out of his genuinely tearjerking subplot.

Of course, the very best part of the film is the villains. Uma Thurman is clearly having a ball as Poison Ivy, and she gets to have a ludicrous amount of costumes as well as numerous moments of fanservice. She also has the power to turn every man around her into a simp, which is absolutely amazing and leads to quite a few scenes of Batman and Robin slapping each other over her. But f course, there’s really no doubt that the best part of the film is Mr. Freeze. He’s a combination of the sillier Mr. Freeze from the West days and the more modern take of the character most are familiar with, the tragic anti-villain who wants to save his wife; such a character would take a talented man capable of comedy and drama in equal measure. And who better than Arnold Schwarzenegger? Joel Schumacher wanted a man who looked like he was chiseled from a glacier, and Arnold certainly fits that description. He spends the movie juggling some of the most corny puns you can imagine and a lot of truly powerful, understated drama, and it really does work. You honestly get the sense that Arnold really gets Mr. Freeze and what makes him a great character. Also, that suit he has is amazing.

As a final note: the Bat Credit Card is absolutely not stupid. Linkara has defended it in the past, giving reasons why and how it could actually work, but really, all that needs to be said is… is this any more ridiculous than Shark Repellent Bat Spray?

THE BAD

So don’t get the wrong idea here; this film is far from perfect. As is the case with any comedy, the humor can be hit or miss; not all of the puns land, not all of the jokes are great. You’re never going to get a perfect comedy no matter how hard you try, and this is no exception.

As for performances, I think O’Donnell’s Robin and Silverstone’s Batgirl are a bit wonky. O'Donnell has long been a source of derision for his whining, and while I think the hate is a bit overblown, he does spend a ludicrous amount of time in this film being snippy, miserable, and arrogant. I think he actually fights with Batman more than any of the villains! Still, his performance isn’t horrible, he just gets a bit too whiny at a few points.

Silverstone is a bit of a bigger problem, but she’s not quite as bad as even I remembered. She’s pretty much Batgirl in name only, since she’s related to Alfred in this, but she’s mostly okay. The issue really is that her arc in the film is relatively bland and feels a bit shoehorned, which comes to a head where she fights Poison Ivy in a designated catfight, obviously because they didn’t want Batman to punch a woman in the face I guess. There’s just one issue with that:

On the subject of Ivy, while she definitely does have plant powers here, they’re strangely underplayed. She rarely uses them even when it would probably be beneficial, instead relying on Bane to do most of the fighting for her. Ah, Bane… Bane is one of the few things about this film I can’t really muster up any sort of defense for. While his creation scene is rather cool, it doesn’t lead to much of interest, as this version of Bane is pretty much a mindless supersoldier lackey who serves Poison Ivy. Now, this was still relatively early in Bane’s existence, as he had only debuted in 1993 and was really most famous for his signature “breaking the Bat” move, but it still is baffling why, with that famous thing fresh in everyone’s minds, that they would just choose to go and basically make Bane into Evil Diet Captain America. Surely they could have either saved him for a sequel or utilized him in a way more befitting of the character? I think this Bane is kind of responsible for the negative perception of Bane as this big, dumb bruiser, something that works like The Dark Knight Rises and Arkham Origins have thankfully gone a long way to rectifying. Bane is at his best when he’s a cunning genius bruiser; here, he’s nothing but a glorified prop.

Is It Really THAT Bad?

The answer is no. No it isn’t. AT ALL.

I’ve always felt this film came out at the wrong time. It was towards the end of the 90s, during the Dark Age of Comics when everything was dark, gritty, and edgy. The world didn’t want a movie like this back then; they wanted stuff like Blade, who would come in shortly after this film and show us how to make that aesthetic work. I guess in terms of Batman they wanted something more like Dawn of Justice, which really speaks volumes to how awful the 90s were for superheroes. 

Look, I’m not trying to convince anyone this is the greatest Batman film ever. Even I don’t think that; Batman Returns, The Dark Knight, and Under the Red Hood are all much better films. But is this really the worst Batman film now that we have the deeply misogynistic and disgusting The Killing Joke and the relentlessly bleak and unpleasant Batman v Superman? Hell, it’s not even worse than Batman Forever! At least the Batman in this film has some kind of emotional range beyond “plank of wood!” And even calling it the worst sequel ever is just… so baffling. Again, this is definitely better than Batman Forever, lack of Jim Carrey notwithstanding. And can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me that this is worse than any of the Terminator sequels after the second film? Worse than Iron Man 2 or Thor: The Dark World? The almost half dozen Alvin and the Chipmunk sequels? This is only the worst sequel or even a bad sequel if it is the only sequel you’ve ever seen in your life.

A lot of the hate for it from back in the day carries a strong undercurrent of homophobia. Much like the infamous backlash against disco, it’s seriously uncomfortable, and it definitely is cruel how accusatory people were towards Schumacher’s intentions for the suits of the heroes in the film. The fact that even the two main stars have gotten in on it is a bit disgusting, though O’Donnell questioning why there needed to be a codpiece is certainly less offensive than George Clooney saying he played Batman as a gay man for… whatever reason. Was he implying that Batman being gay made the movie worse? I’m not sure what he’s on about there. Even The New Batman Adventures made a cruel dig at the film; notice the sign and the effeminate-looking boy. You could only get homophobia this good in the 90s!

The hatred of this film is absolutely overblown. It’s so ridiculous. #70 on the bottom rated movies of IMDB? #1 on the 50 worst films of all time list from Empire? Doug Walker’s personal punching bag whenever he needs to talk about a bad sequel, to the point where he literally said no one wanted a comedic take on Batman in his worst sequels video? Come the fuck on.

Joel Schumacher may or may not have ended up hating this film, but he certainly was made to feel like shit for making it… and it is honest to god not that bad! But he was just absolutely eviscerated, to the point where this was a fucking headline when he died:

Literally fuck all of these people. Fuck io9 for their insensitive headline. Fuck Empire for rating this as the worst film ever. Fuck Doug Walker for his constant bashing and his shitty old “chimp out over the Bat Credit Card” gag. Double fuck Mick LaSalle for shitting on George Clooney’s performance while also trying to say George Lazenby’s Bond was bad. In fact, fuck George Clooney for his weird idea that playing Batman as gay is a bad thing (sorry George, but I can’t defend this). Fuck the Razzies. Yes, it was nominated, but I just feel it’s always a good time to say “Fuck the Razzies.”

I will never say you have to love or even like this film, but the sheer amount of vitriol and hatred for it is absolutely beyond me. At worst, this film is just a bit too goofy, and at best, it is a fun tribute to the campy days when Batman just couldn’t get rid of a bomb. I didn’t take off my score this time. I’m proud to say I gave this an 8/10, personally. If I’m being honest, a 6.6 – 6.9 is more appropriate, because it does have quite a few issues, but god, this film is not bad at all. It’s silly, goofy, campy, and fun… but bad? Not by any stretch of my imagination. And fuck the critics for convincing an entire generation that this is Batman at his worst, when we have Batman fucking slaughtering his ways through criminals and fucking Barbara Gordon on rooftops these days. I will always take stupid ice puns over misery, murder and creepy intergenerational sex, thank you very much.

I hope you can rest easy, Mr. Schumacher. Maybe you didn’t love your film in the end but, wherever you are, I hope you know I loved it.