#^mentally ill in the worst way
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YES. YESS.. YEAHHHHHHHHHH
#^mentally ill in the worst way#first game ive tried so hard to plat on#i love this game#unironically the hardest survivor to master was commando because he does peashooter damage and#thats not good against bosses#also like if you dont have chain items theyre like LOL overwhelms you DIE#i love commando tho i think he deserves the best#i have many thoughts about this game. i thinkl the fact that theres so little ao3 fics on it is sad and makes me sad#the lores so good tho...... (tho not really in the game game)
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I hate that having ADHD is seen as “quirky”. Or one of the “lesser” mental disorders.
It is agonizing.
You are constantly forgetting everything, names, locations, tasks, items, everything. You misplace things subconsciously and have to spend half hours looking for them, only to find them in places you genuinely cannot recall at all. Your memory is nonexistent. You are constantly aware that you have things you need to do or need to be doing but you cannot remember what. You know you are forgetting something but it doesn’t come to you, so you spend all day anxious. You get awful moments of dysfunction where words become incomprehensible and you are incapable of completing a task, but people are quick to assume you are lazy no matter how hard you’re trying. And one of the worst parts is that you KNOW you’re letting people down. You know you can’t grasp time so you’re showing up late even though you left extremely early. You know someone expected something from you by a deadline but you genuinely couldn’t remember. And in academics, you know some of your teachers are trying hard to be accommodating but you can’t even do the most basic tasks by the given deadlines. Or! You get teachers that do not even understand what mental disorders are and accuse you of not trying. People think you are using your disorder as an excuse just because you know you have it and use it to explain some of your behaviors. If you mask well enough to never need help, you don’t get diagnosed even though it’s taking all of your strength just to get by. If you don’t mask well enough and you are fem presenting like I am you are told you aren’t acting out so you are fine. You can’t win. It’s not quirky to have ADHD, and we aren’t faking it.
It’s a constant struggle, and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.
#I’m gonna include here that I’m not saying I have it the worst#Im also not saying that you can’t feel validated by your diagnosis bc I definitely did!#I just hate that people act like it’s not that bad#because it is#with adhd#adhd problems#actually adhd#adhd#living with adhd#adhd struggles#vent post#but you can reblog#in fact maybe do#I don’t know if other people feel this way#mental disorder#mental health#mental illness#mentally exhausted
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If you want to be bothered. Maybe this for dick and Bruce???
i ALWAYS want to be bothered these are always the highlight of my day tbh you're a delight for letting me just yap <3
Dick. For the canon isn't real square I am Specifically talking about the Tom Taylor Nightwing run. Usually I ignore bad runs but given this one is ongoing (though about to end THANK GOD and get replaced by Dan Watters who i have high hopes for since i adored his Sword of Azrael (2022) run but i digress) so I counted it. Especially since it's so debated if that run is bad or not, for some reason. I'm a 90s Nightwing truther. I love Dick so dearly and tbh recently I've been more enamored with him the more I read his Discowing era, I didn't used to be as big of a Dick stan as I am these days.
Bruce. Honestly where do you even start with Bruce. I want to fist fight him and also patch him up. He got me into comics and superheroes as a whole but I roll my eyes whenever he shows up in a story. He's a bastard and usually not a good father but also complex and should be dissected under a magnifying glass. I love him dearly. He's also just the worst. I think that's why I love him. I'm always a fan of unabashedly Complicated Asshole Bruce who's generally not always the best person, particularly not to the Batfamily and that being the driving force of his relationships with them, especially in shipping.
And for bonus points, Tim. Because know above all else, I'm a Tim Drake kinnie /deg. He's been my number one for a decade and I've yet to uproot him from my brain. He's literally the Worst half the time and I love him for it. And the canon isn't real refers to Tim Drake: Robin because... that sure was a comic. And that's about all I can say about it. Pre-Flashpoint Tim I miss you so dearly. I think it's fun that I want to put him in a blender and drink the juice but also want Nothing Ever to happen to him.
#necrotic answerings#batcest#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#fandom tag#anyway the fandom is i guess mean to all of them#but like it's deserving.#everytime i meet a tim anti i'm like you're SO right. he's the worst. pls hate his ass more.#same with bruce. like never met a bruce anti who didn't have endless receipts for hating his ass.#(except for those using the shallow 'he's a billionaire beating up the mentally ill' argument which. i ignore)#(bc why are you. consuming superhero content if you just don't like or understand the genre. it's lazy pseudointellectual nonsense.)#and i don't think ppl are truly mean to dick. i think they just don't understand him.#which extends to the entire batfamily bc well. the state of the fandom and all.#like “everyone else is wrong about them” isn't in a “no one gets them but me” way#(except about tim truly no one gets him but me /j)#it's in a “oh y'all just want to fit them into neat boxes don't you” way#one more person call dick grayson “eldest daughter core” and i'm going to your house and eating the stuffing out all of your pillows.#first of all can we stop calling male characters “female coded” in any way please#women exist in comics too.#second of all it's just not true? and it's not the complex he has with bruce nor his “siblings” if you wish to call them that#and then bruce. where do you even start.#you dare say you think it's in character for bruce to hit his kids and *SOCIETY. society goes wild.*#like ofc it has to be in specific contexts. he's not just swinging.#and sometimes it *is* written very OOC bc bruce is written as a machismo self insert i give you that#but yeah a soldier who views his children as soldiers and has zero healthy emotional regulation or communication skills#is gonna sometimes swing in his worst moments. it is just how the superhero genre works everyone is gonna fist fight to solve problems.#why are you reading comics about ppl who hit other ppl for a living if you don't like it when they hit ppl.#also random hot take about dick's characterization#the young justice tv show did incredible damage to ppl's perception of him and i dislike the take it's the best adaptation of him
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Henry's whole deal to me is that he is selfish in his inaction, his self preservation, his desire for closure. His self hatred is all consuming in such a way that it harms those around him but he is so consumed by his own misery he does not recognise their suffering. His anger at himself, William and the world animates him but also gnaws at every inch of his being like a virus. Spreds from him into the world. Seeps and harms and burns the way Will's actions burned him.
#henry being just as terrible as bill but in the opposite way is important#cough i may project my worst fears as a mentally ill person onto hen cough#anxity and self hatred are ultimatly a selfish thing to me#obvs mentally ill people cannot help that i am in that boat i understand#but also the idea that everyone is looking at you that you are the worst thing to ever exist is a selfish thought in a bad way#because you are not#your closure for your mistakes isnt everything ME i mean henry fnaf#cough#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#henry emily#yelling about the bear#mental illness#idk how to tag this its mostly the notes im being weird with bear with me#haha#bear
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sometimes you have a rough day and have to fall asleep directly on top of your battle boyfriend giving him as many dead limbs in the process as possible
#obiwan tolerates this with absolutely no issues because he would do anything for cody#hes very smitten#hes also going to have the worlds worst pins and needles in the morning#also i like to think the blanket is a result of one of them complaining the regulation blankets are a terrible shade of mental illness grey#and a very messy afternoon of 212th orange fabric paint#im suuuper proud of the hands in this by the way i have to say this everyone needs to know im so happy with how they turned out#anyways#my art <3#<3#star wars#star wars fanart#codywan#obi wan kenobi#commander cody#trans obi wan#fanart#sw art
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okay i need feedback from the autism mentall illness website um. this is going to read like an AITA post. brother vs half-sister (who are currently my dependents do to their own individual disabilities + ptsd/depression) spat i will skim the details on but i'm worried my sister will discount my take since i'm not autistic myself so. am i crazy to call it ableist to look at an autistic person (23) who is clearly going through it dealing w long term depression, a world that doesn't give a shit abt him, unemployment, very self-isolated and burnt out barely leaving his room because the world is an ableist dumpster fire with zero opportunities for him, and then bring up childhood abuse he's suffered and his diagnosis as reasonable factors on top of this to worry he'll [checks notes] abuse my cat just to hurt me or even worse have a breakdown and kill me and his other sibling in a violent episode, a train of thought i probably wouldn't even be having were he not [checks notes] mad at me for the first time in my life?
like i don't have any other read on this kind of fear-based characterization other than ableism. like those are very real things in his life but she never points out any current violent behavior, of which there are none, only the one (1) instance of him lashing out when he was like 14 and Officially Diagnosed Low Empathy she thinks is a concern and Hateful Looks toward her since he stopped getting along with her, that's it. i tried explaining to her why i, someone who's lived w him his entire life, can vouch for how unlikely he is to do anything like that, especially when it's again not based on anything he's actually currently doing except for isolating in a way that is much more indicative of him potentially being a danger to himself than anyone else, and being cold towards her specifically, and i thought she had let it go, but when i brought it up off-hand in a conversation tangentially related, she continued to defend and justify her Concern about the potential directions his behavior could lead to because [checks notes] other people in similar situations have lashed out and killed their entire families according to. true crime books or videos she's watched on youtube as far as i'm aware. ignoring the fact that her and i have had the same or Worse childhood abuse and have acted similarly isolated in the past, or for her literally just as currently as him, and she's not expressed any worry past or present about either of us doing anything like that, in my opinion obviously because i haven't cut her off due to our differences like he decided to. like am i big sibling biased because this is pissing me off so bad.
#j.txt#autism#ableism#very sorry to hang all my dirty laundry like this but she is absolutely the type of person to not take accusations of ableism seriously#due to being disabled/traumatized herself and i. feel like she thinks just because she's fixated on and consumed so much about like#mental disorders and illness and whatever she thinks she's an expert on it#enough to like. non-gendered equivalent mansplain peoples' own traumas and disorders to them lol which she has done to me as well#my brother actually last i checked felt like his diagnosis wasn't even accurate#but to me knowing our mom was v ableist antivax about her understanding of autism and a very neurotypical definition of it#it makes sense if the criterias or definitions don't feel accurate to him#idk. IDK#um. if this gets no engagement i'll delete it rather quick probably i just#don't wanna talk out of my ass when i'm not even autistic yk#i'm very aware i can be biased about him vs her because i actually grew up w him and he's younger than us but like#i havent heard him use her own diagnosis and childhood trauma and ugly moments in this way to justify his bad faith characterizations of he#so it's very much. just something she's doing. if my brother started doin it too i'd have the same conversation but he hasn't which i think#is u.m Telling <3#like She's the one actually complaining about how he assumes the worst of her in everything she does now and it makes her feel awful#meanwhile she. probably doesn't say any of this to Him but boy has she talked about it with me!#if it's not obvious we are all very mentally ill trapped in a house 2gether trying to save up to move so we can get away from each other lo
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sweet fluffy treebros is great nd everything and i could totally see it but also. i think they should be a teeny bit horribly toxic
#idkk. the way i see it is that it could totally go both ways#like best case scenario they balance each other out#but worst case scenario. oh boy#they ENTIRELY throw each other off balance even more than they were on their own#like its more a matter of whether theyre mutually willing to be open w each other#nd i could totally see one of them wanting to perhaps be vulnerable w the other#but the other in question not really reciprocating that for many a reason#at the end of the day evan and connor are both deeply mentally ill people in ways both different and similar#nd i could so see a scenario where they dont mix well at all#but either way i can see them having a connection. whether they like it or not#treebros to me is “i fear only one person has truly understood me and i fuckin hate the guy”#why is that like. also kleinsen lowkey#ANYWAYS#im gonna shut up now#good god ive written a fucking essay in the tags ummm#mir spits his shit#dear evan hansen#evan hansen#connor murphy#treebros
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i kinda want to live again
#not a vent#not literal#like. i wanna do things again. i wanna go places. i don’t wanna be holed up anymore#saw a mutual baking cookies#and my immediate thought was wow. life is so fucking wonderful#a stranger somewhere thousands of miles away from me is baking cookies. and i get to see a photo of it#and the color of the counter was the same as my friend’s old counter back in their childhood home#it gave me weird motivation to keep pushing through#very odd.#life is beautiful#i am mentally stable btw. just anxiety takes over my every waking moment#i am not in danger of myself don’t worry hang#GANG NOT HANG#THAT WAS THE WORST POSSIBLE TYPI I COULDVE MADE GIVEN THE CONTEXT OMG#i wanna live again#I’m going to join a club i think#start going to the library and chat up the librarians#maybe see if i can help them put away books. just for fun.#maybe i can get a job#maybe i can do this#maybe i can start saving up to move out. or go to college#im already starting to get a service dog. maybe i can do it#only issue is that driving is sensory hell for me so I struggle with it a lot#sooo#ill find a way#public transport here i come
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thursday quest - no physical therapy today - make and eat lunch sooooo early but i can do it!!!!! - get ready for wedding - attend wedding! yay! (: - decompress well when i get home <3
#its thursday quest#god i'm so anxious about it autism style. so many uncertainties that i simply cannot account for alone. but i'm being sooo 'brave' about it#(keeping it to myself. except for posting about it)#taxi company hasn't texted me the drivers' details yet and i emailed them to be like ummmm your policy is to pay before the day#would you like to email me the payment details so i can do that? and they were like 'we'll send the driver details soon' ummmm#there isn't much soon left!!!!!!! it's happening tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!#they're probably just not Organised™ in the way i prefer to be. which is objectively fine it's just challenging for me personally.#i do not think it's Bad but!!!!! i've never taken a taxi before <- guy who Is Scared Of Taxis Specifically but has to face#their fears because they're disabled and have no other choice.#worst case i am down the money and no-one arrives to take me home i guess :P but it'll be afternoon AND my family are there so#in theory i could just get a lift home even though that would mess up other people's plans sooooo bad. UNLESS they have already drunk uhhhh#in which case i guess i'd just ask for help calling a taxi to the place. plany of people who can do such things easily (unlike me)#it'll be fine!!! i can ask my siblings if need be bc they are so niceys and will not get mad at me for being autistic o7#My other worry is being too hot and being in a rush getting ready bc i have to eat a proper meal due to the symptoms syndromes#and we are leaving when my lunch usually is so that's a whole thing. which ALSO doesn't matter and I can do! it's just hard!#where is that post that's like 'managed mental illness can look like absence of mental illness 😅'. NOT saying being autistic is mental#illness i am saying that the specific extreme anxiety i have is for me linked to autistic issues with 'the unknown' and boy. does this#social situation also have a lot of unknown.#BUT I CAN DO IT! and dare i say even have a nice time!!!!! it's just i get so so scared beforehand but i will not express it in a way that#impacts or inconveniences anyone else!!! i can handle it by myself at my house and it'll be fine
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Malcolm Bright, a man desperately pursuing his own destruction merely because he was born
Tw: Needle, Suicide, Grooming and Prodigal Son Spoilers (and it's related triggers)
Malcolm Bright kneeling himself in front of a serial killer who is mimicking his father, the man who tried to groom him into a being just like him, haunting him even after ten years of no contact, and offering himself to be killed. Malcolm Bright, kneeling in front of a serial, confessing his parentage in front of someone who has so far had an untainted opinion of him.
The moment he admits to being The Surgeon's son, Martin's son, how it hurts him to say.
Malcolm Bright, hoping to kill two birds with one stone, get rid of himself, ending all the torment at the hands of the closest thing to his father, and saving a life while doing it. Holding a needle to his wrist, all but begging this killer to kill him instead.
His disappointment is palpable, so very clear when he isn't killed, painfully, excruciatingly. The serum had been perfected, the most painful way to die, and Malcolm was on his knees for it. And Gil saw it, Gil knew, seeing that face. How many times had Gil seen that face? How many times had Malcolm tried something similar? How many times had he felt that same fear? Gil has known Malcolm for 20 years, through the worst times in his life, how many times had he seen Malcolm like this?
Malcolm Bright is one of the most self-destructive characters I have ever seen, from moments like these where he intentionally puts his life in danger, hoping for a moment where it ends, disappointed when it doesn't end with him dead. To moments where he sabotages his own relationships, pushing people away, lying and making himself out to be this horrible burden to everyone, to be this danger to be around.
Malcolm Bright has always been afraid of himself, of being what his father tried to groom him into, so deeply into that belief that his father succeeded and that he’s such a terrible person, merely for existing, for being the son of the surgeon. Malcolm is fully under the belief that he deserves pain and even death for what his father did, he’s so afraid of hurting people, of being like his father. Everything he does is penance of being alive, hoping to make up for the risk of him still being around. He’s so scared, even of death itself. Malcolm, generally speaking, tends to be passively suicidal, having shown fear of death and being hurt, but it’s moments like these that you really see how far he’s willing to go to keep everyone else safe, and how deeply this fear goes. How ready he is to lay down his life. But that's just my two cents
#prodigal son#malcolm bright#martin whitly#gil arroyo#prodigal son fox#mental illness#character study#The way Gil holds Malcolm makes me SICK#gifset#my gifs#Making the gifs was the worst part of this#Malcolm Bright is my babygirl and I love him very dearly#The things this boy goes through is incredible#sucideawareness#The way this show does mental illness is amazing#tom payne#He does an amazing job portraying Malcolm#TMW a serial killer is telling you you don't deserve to die painfully and you convince him to you and ask him to kill you anyway#This is my first post like this be kind please#I tired so hard
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now that she's on this I'm Insaaaane Asyyyylum trip do you think taylor swift getting diagnosed with a stigmatized personality disorder would be a net good because of visibility or a net negative because it'd just become "the thing taylor swift has"
#arguably one of my worst posts sorry#it's entirely possible she actually has a mental illness in the same way it's possible for anyone to have one#is just how i see it
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ok sorry the OTHER thing about lucienne is like. as previously stated she is dream's handpicked emissary from the waking world to the dreaming she's the diplomat in chief she's the translator she's the bridge. because the dreaming is, in a very real way, dream's own psyche, this is tantamount to giving lucienne a tremendous degree of access to his interiority and by transitive property also tantamount to entering into a deeply emotionally intimate relationship with her (unimportant for the purposes of this post whether that relationship is platonic or romantic).
now, in general, looking at the pattern of dream's close emotional relationships—dream doesn't share himself with people as a rule (beyond the access that all things that live have to the dreaming; but i'm talking about his self here, the one he doesn't like to acknowledge he even has), but when he does share with people, it's with people who have some shadow on the soul, so to speak. just looking at attested relationships in show canon, his deepest emotional connection seems to be with death, who embodies the duality of light and dark even better than he does himself. calliope is the muse of epic poetry—heroism and tragedy—and also bears the sort of divine pride that led her to cut dream off for hundreds or thousands of years when he wronged her. the less said about that other guy, the better, but he's no sunshine-rainbows-unicorns type—he's a soldier of fortune, a bandit and a killer, a man who profits from the sale of human life. even best bird matthew, in comix canon, had a sordid past that will maybe be partially retconned for the show but has still been gestured at.
dream likes the complicated ones. he's drawn to them. they speak to something in him that he won't acknowledge in himself (he has to be Whole, fully integrated, without reservation, because he is the king and he is the dreaming and if the dreaming ain't whole then the universe is in trouble—but he feels that ache nonetheless).
all that is to say: when people try to portray lucienne as dream's Designated Well-Adjusted Neurotypical Friend, i begin to harm and maim.
#chatter#as usual there is a larger pattern of behavior around this post that has been making me crazy for some time#it's the ''holder of the braincell'' trope but it's also just like the flattening of female characters of color in every possible dimension#so many people are terrified. TERRIFIED. to imagine a woman of color's pain#because the demands of shallow progressivism are such that they require you to acknowledge that A Black Woman Has Suffered More#Than Anyone Else Ever In The History Of The World Ever; Because Of Racism#but the demands of wider fandom are such that they require you to buy into the concept that A White Man's Suffering#Is The Only Suffering Worthy Of Care Attention Or Interest.#can't handle the dichotomy so instead they create the imago of a Black woman who has never suffered anything ever#she cannot be mentally ill; she cannot be disabled; if she is queer then it is in a way that is wholly self-contained and complete#and not ambiguous or in flux in any way; and most important of ALL she can never have experienced racism.#because racism As We Know is the worst form of suffering. so if she'd suffered racism then that would make her more worthy of#compassion than White Guy No. 37. which must not be#the very idea that lucienne is simply at peace with herself and the dreaming with no further complication.......like!#WOMEN OF COLOR ARE NEVER AFFORDED THAT KIND OF CERTAINTY. ARE YOU STUPID.#and by the way being reserved/calm/unassuming/practical are NOT absolute indicators of mental wellness.#y'all can see this when it's a white guy what is your fucking DAMAGE when it comes to women of color.#OPEN YOUR EYES. USE YOUR POWERS OF DEDUCTIVE REASONING. DREAM DIDN'T CHOOSE HER TO BE HIS THERAPIST.#DREAM CHOSE HER BECAUSE; PRESUMABLY; SHE ACHES. SHE CONTRADICTS. SHE GRAPPLES WITH THE SHADOW ON THE MIND.#SOMETHING IN HIM SEES A KINDRED SOUL IN HER. WAKE UP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
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the way people respond to the "omg you people cant do anything" tweet with "holy shit this rewired me" "fixed me" "sometimes i need to remember this tweet and i immediately get better" makes me so mad. im glad it helps you man. it just irritates me cuz more often than not im the people who cant do anything. at least being mocked and shamed functions to motivate you out of your problems. this is so healthy for all of us
#mypost#im being an edgelord im being salty i KNOW#life is HARD and im FILLED WITH ANGER#keep that in mind whenever im saying anything#mental illness#neurodivergent#adhd#autism#pretty sure that post was abt adhd wasnt it?#well fuck all yall who laugh at ''omg you people cant do anything''#on my best days that tweet registers as someone attempting to gotcha someone they perceive as ''self diagnoser/trender adhd''#which is. UGH. ill get back around#on my worst days it feels like a personal attack. in which im entitled to my madness and tumblr rants#but yeah trying to ''own'' that persons tweet doesnt have any redeemable quality at all#theres no way to criticize it without sounding like a joyless sjw so lets count the ways it can be complimented#''good job owning that person posting about their mental disability making their life difficult you were the funny one in that interaction'#👍
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Lif voice KILL YOURSELF NOW‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
#fire emblem#feh#SORRY I DO TRY to avoid making suicide jokes but. lif's interactions w dimitri are just the funniest fucking thing to me#LIF PLEASE. he's not even medicated STOP BULLYING THE MENTALLY ILL MAN#both alfonse and lif will see someone minding their own business working through whatever issue they might have#and both are like. well i took that personally.#i am going to resolve this (in the worst way possible). i'm helping.#fe lif#fe dimitri#suicide mention#<- jokey but wanna cover my basis 👍
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Do you know what sucks? All of the mental hospitals near me. I've only been to one good mental hospital in my entire life and it is really far away. Why do all of the nearby mental hospitals have to be downright terrible? It wouldn't even be difficult to do a better job than half these places. Yeah, some people will always hate mental hospitals because they are restrictive, but there are some serious issues that are extremely avoidable.
Don't hire staff that hate mentally ill people. Also, treat patients like actual people and not like you're babysitting someone's problem child violent criminal drug addict horror movie psychopath pit bull puppy with a bite history and no ability to think who definitely caused their own problems anyway and should probably just be incarcerated or put down or else they'll just continue to be both an inconvenience and Scary.
If you confiscate a patient's belongings and say you will return them when the patient gets discharged, do so and keep track of the items, do not throw them away.
Provide food options without ingredients that commonly trigger allergies. (The last mental hospital I went to had no gluten-free options for probably 2/3 of the meals so I ended up barely eating. Usually, the only GF option was salad or fruit and even their salads had croutons already mixed in and soggy enough that even if you picked them out, the cross-contamination was significant. The only protein source was meat and 100% of it was breaded. I wish this was hyperbole.)
If you have to deal with a situation where a patient is being violent: 1. attempt to de-escalate and only resort to force when absolutely necessary 2. do not insult or yell at the patient 3. do not insult or yell at a different patient with PTSD who had a panic attack after the first patient threw a chair at them 4. do not punish a third patient by taking away their media time because they intervened and successfully calmed down both the first and second patient.
Do not sexually harass trans minors. Do not subject a 16-year-old transmasc patient to a "cavity search" and then lie about it when the other patients confront you because the kid brought it up and after discussion, none of the cis or adult patients had to do anything like that but the trans AFAB minors (there were two) both faced some form of sexual harassment. Do not revoke phone privileges to the (several) patients who suggested a lawsuit. Do not take down the patients' rights poster in the hallway. Do not lie to patients about their rights. Do not threaten to out patients to their transphobic and abusive parents if they try to report the hospital. Do not give the patients who suggested a lawsuit smug looks for the entire next week as if you are superior because the patients backed down due to the victims not wanting to come forward about it anymore because they had no solid proof and, for one of them, because his parents would hurt him if they found out, which they would.
You would think this would be common sense, and yet, there are no mental hospitals within two hours of my house that haven't done at least one of these things.
Probably not worth it to try to look for farther away hospitals I haven't been to before considering that they're very unlikely to help anyway.
#mental illness#mental health#psychiatry#anti psychiatry#mental hospital#i'm not actually (fully) anti-psych because i have personally found some forms of treatment useful to me#but the general mistreatment of mentally ill people by our mental health system is horrible#and stressful at a minimum when you actually Need some form of help#but nowhere nearby will actually help you#not looking to be prevented from attempting btw#i plan to do that either way. just if i get institutionalized i'll have to wait until i'm out#it's just that i need to Escape in such a way that i will have an excuse for my absence upon my return#because a lot of things are happening at once very few of them good and meanwhile i'm already in the midst of the worst mental health crisi#i've had in years#not fun
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So I saw this show I used to watch as a kid on a streaming service, Hoarders, and it's about, as you'd assume, people who compulsively hoard.
When I watched that show as a kid, I remember how you were invited to almost... judge these people, "Oh, how could you live like that?! I'm glad that's not my house..." and I remember this shock factor that sunk you into the episode, at least in the early seasons.
I think it's a product of the attitude we have about these sorts of things. When I look at that now, all I see is trauma, people who are suffering, and then essentially being shamed on television, no less. It just feels like watching somebody at their lowest for an hour, recounting trauma, disability, loss and grief, mental illness, and so many things.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#ask to tag#man though... i was super young when i actually watched that series though like this is like maybe 2010 we're talking#and look maybe i'm a hashtag snowflake who is too concerned about this shit but... i'd rather be a snowflake#i just remember the tears and the person who was compulsively hoarding being stressed and pressured#and it just makes me think about how entitled people are about mentally ill people#i'm not saying that these people didn't need help. i'm just saying that a camera crew probably shouldn't be part of it#i think about my worst episodes of mental illness and it's like would i have wanted a camera crew? like even if i had said yes in the past#i just think it's complex and nuanced and that's why i'm not trying to shame anyone about this based on opinion#i concede that i am not an expert and i also can say that i personally don't think it (the show) was done in good faith every time#feel like my words may/will be misinterpreted/misrepresented about this but i hold true#like i tried watching an episode just in case i was wrong and. i was not having a good time. even when the expert they got came on#really didn't like the way she introduced herself with 'ooh i KNEW i came to the right place when i saw the yard' like it was funny :/
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