#Malcolm Bright is my babygirl and I love him very dearly
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wesdoesliterallynothing · 2 months ago
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Malcolm Bright, a man desperately pursuing his own destruction merely because he was born
Tw: Needle, Suicide, Grooming and Prodigal Son Spoilers (and it's related triggers)
Malcolm Bright kneeling himself in front of a serial killer who is mimicking his father, the man who tried to groom him into a being just like him, haunting him even after ten years of no contact, and offering himself to be killed. Malcolm Bright, kneeling in front of a serial, confessing his parentage in front of someone who has so far had an untainted opinion of him.
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The moment he admits to being The Surgeon's son, Martin's son, how it hurts him to say.
Malcolm Bright, hoping to kill two birds with one stone, get rid of himself, ending all the torment at the hands of the closest thing to his father, and saving a life while doing it. Holding a needle to his wrist, all but begging this killer to kill him instead.
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His disappointment is palpable, so very clear when he isn't killed, painfully, excruciatingly. The serum had been perfected, the most painful way to die, and Malcolm was on his knees for it. And Gil saw it, Gil knew, seeing that face. How many times had Gil seen that face? How many times had Malcolm tried something similar? How many times had he felt that same fear? Gil has known Malcolm for 20 years, through the worst times in his life, how many times had he seen Malcolm like this?
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Malcolm Bright is one of the most self-destructive characters I have ever seen, from moments like these where he intentionally puts his life in danger, hoping for a moment where it ends, disappointed when it doesn't end with him dead. To moments where he sabotages his own relationships, pushing people away, lying and making himself out to be this horrible burden to everyone, to be this danger to be around.
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Malcolm Bright has always been afraid of himself, of being what his father tried to groom him into, so deeply into that belief that his father succeeded and that he’s such a terrible person, merely for existing, for being the son of the surgeon. Malcolm is fully under the belief that he deserves pain and even death for what his father did, he’s so afraid of hurting people, of being like his father. Everything he does is penance of being alive, hoping to make up for the risk of him still being around. He’s so scared, even of death itself. Malcolm, generally speaking, tends to be passively suicidal, having shown fear of death and being hurt, but it’s moments like these that you really see how far he’s willing to go to keep everyone else safe, and how deeply this fear goes. How ready he is to lay down his life.  But that's just my two cents
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