#[you know what they say]
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Zeus all arrogant: My oh my brother, all that work to get revenge on the mortal, and he beats you?You must feel so ashamed…
Poseidon, still bleeding profusely and literally vibrating from horniness: Do you think if I kill his son he’ll do it again?
#There’s something so homperotic about getting stabbed by the man youve obsessed on for years with your own weapon as you beg him to stop#You know what they say#Gay people can never have a normal divorce#anyways masochist Poseidon ftw!!!#epic the musical#the vengeance saga#epic the vengeance saga#epic odysseus#odysseus of ithaca#Poseidon#epic poseidon#Zeus#Epic Zeus#tagamemnon#Odyseidon#Manwhore au#not like technically but I’m tagging it so people who don’t wanna see this shit can filter it out lol
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Ok ok ok so hear me out. I've seen a lot of stories and prompts where the Joker is scared of Danny. But honestly? Big scary ghost? Whatever, doesn't phase him. He's seen scarier. He's done scarier. Try again.
But you know what has been actually proven to scare the Joker? The IRS. So imagine this man's utter horror when one day an IRS agent just appears in his hideout and lets him know that he still owes them money. The agent gives him a deadline to pay his remaining taxes then leaves.
Joker immediately starts scrambling. He needs to come up with this money fast. No way he's making an enemy out of the IRS. But before that, Johnny? Find my accountant and give him the most painfully funny death you can think of.
For the next few days, Joker is running around, trying to collect the remaining money that he owes but he still doesn't have enough. As the IRS agent so helpfully reminds him every time he shows up.
On the day of the deadline Joker is still just short of what he owes so he pulls out his trump card. Begging.
That's how Batman finds one deranged clown killer on his hands and knees begging for a loan or at the very least some protection and he is utterly confused. It's at that moment when a young man appears out of nowhere.
"I'm sorry. It looks like you still haven't paid all of your taxes," he says in a frighteningly cheerful voice before he grabs the Joker by his collar and drags him into the shadows.
#dp x dc#dc x dp#dpxdc#dcxdp#winter's tales#you know what they say#if you can't beat them join them#or in danny's case agree to work with them to make up for some of the trauma his parents put them through
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There's something about how in Act 3 after Gale has visited the Stormshore Tabernacle, he tells the player (if romanced);
“I would much rather gaze into your eyes than hers. Yours are capable of tenderness, and feeling. No god could ever compare.”
It's worth noting that throughout the game one of Gale's most prominent characteristics is his very expressive eyes, we see it in almost all of his scenes when he looks at the player, in particular his Act 2 and Act 3 romance scene, as well other instances throughout.
But compare that to Gale after he becomes a god, his eyes are no longer the same soulful, emotional eyes as before, but glowing with ambition even if he's trying to express his emotions. He'll never truly look at the player like he once did, even if he still loves them.
#the discussion how gale loses himself to becoming a god has already been talked about#but on a physical level he also loses one of the things that has been a part of him for his whole mortal life#his eyes were once filled with tenderness and feeling too#something gale the god of ambition loses#you know what they say#eyes are the windows into ones soul#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 gale#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#god!gale#bg3 meta
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Patience Long Gone
Kinktober Day 4: Thigh Riding
Tags: Joel Miller x Reader, afab!fem!reader, thigh riding obviously, praise, dry humping (yeah that's right nobody gets naked), Jackson!era, Joel talks dirty yeah I said it (w/c: 1.1K)
A/N: Ayo first Joel fic and it's during Kinktober ofc. I have been reading too many Joel fics to not partake in the old man thirst okay. And also have you seen this gif??? I want to ride that man's thigh like its a rodeo okay!! (For the month I have been following this list by flightlessangelwings!)
He can’t fuck you like he wants to, not right now. And God, Joel wants to, so badly. But there’s no time. There’s never any fucking time.
He hadn’t minded the hustle and bustle of Jackson when he and Ellie first arrived. He’d been grateful for the distraction, for the feeling of being useful again. He’d been grateful for the patrols, the odd repairs around town that didn’t require any socializing, content in his solitude with Ellie safe and sound within the town’s walls.
And then he’d met you. Sweet, soft, you, that doesn’t take any of his bullshit, forces him out of his shell with your sharp wit and endless patience. You, who Tommy introduced to him as the town veterinarian, until you became so much more. You, who asked him to fix your doorframe so, so sweetly, and not five minutes into his work, dragged him into your home and into your bed.
He never truly left.
But there’s no time to treat you like he wants to, fuck you like both of you need. There’s always something else, a threat at the border, an emergency in the stables. He hasn’t seen you cum in weeks, and the thought makes him shudder. He has the most beautiful woman in this entire godforsaken world, and he can’t even find the time to make her feel so fucking good.
It’s one of those few moments where you both are home, exhausted but not nearly tired enough to sleep. You’d crawled into his lap like a damn cat, planting yourself on his thick thigh, all languid grace and allure that has his cock aching in his jeans.
You curl two fists into his shirt, pulling him to your lips, and fuck, this is nothing like the stolen kisses you share in the spare moments you find with each other. This is water in the desert. This is life, not just survival. You’re so fucking soft against him, you scent invading his nose.
“Missed you,” you breathe between kisses, “Missed you so much, Joel.”
He groans, curling his fingers into your hair. He licks softly at your bottom lip, begging wordlessly for you to open for him. You do, without hesitation, and moan in a way that has his head spinning as he licks into your mouth.
“God, sweetheart,” he grumbles as you break apart for breath. “You’re so goddamn pretty. Missed you too, sweet girl, been missin’ you so fuckin’ bad.”
He lets his hands explore you, roaming down your back, up under your shirt to feel that soft, soft skin. He paws over the curve of your ass, and he can’t help but smirk into your mouth as your hips buck forward.
“Needy,” he drawls, but he pushes on your ass again, making your hips buck forward along his thigh. Fuck, it’s good, the way you moan so pretty for him. “You wanna cum, pretty girl?” he croons. You nod so hard he thinks your head may fly off, but you seem to think better of it far too soon for his liking, shaking your head, as if to dismiss the very thought of chasing your own pleasure.
“I’m supposed to help Maria- fuck,” you curse as he leans down to sink his teeth into your neck. “I’m supposed to help Maria with the horses, Joel.”
“She can wait,” he growls, and he pulls on your hips, dragging you up his thigh. You keen involuntarily, the seam of your jeans pressing so hard, so perfect into your clit. “Just want you to feel good, wanna make you feel good.”
His voice is dark, a rasp that has your pussy soaking through your panties. He’s so big, so broad, and his thigh is providing a kind of pressure against your cunt that you haven’t felt for so long. It’s too much of a temptation for you to ignore. You pull your hips back again in a slow, sure drag, before humping back forward. You tuck your face into the crook of Joel’s neck as you let out a high-pitched whine.
“Good fucking girl, sound so pretty for me,” he murmurs, “Don’t that feel nice?”
You nod frantically into his skin, hands fisting into his shirt so tight your knuckles go pale. You hump your hips forward, again and again and again, moaning as your clit throbs in your panties. Joel’s grip remains tight on your hips, helping you along, pressing you down harder. Your head swims, tears springing to your eyes.
“Need to cum,” you gasp, wriggling your hips in desperate little grinds. “Need to cum so fucking bad, Joel, fuck- I’m, I need it, ah-” You feel desperate, needy, unable to string together a sentence is you hump Joel’s thigh like an animal.
“I know, baby, I know,” he coos, grumbling and wonderful. “I’m gonna make you cum right now, okay sweetheart? And when you get home tonight, I’ll be here to do it again and again, right baby?” The thought has you aching, desperately humping into his jeans. You’re so close, you’re so fucking close.
“I’ll lay you down in our bed, sweet girl, and I’ll eat that pretty cunt out like you deserve, fuck, haven’t tasted you in so fucking long.” Joel pulls you along his thigh as he speaks, flexing the muscle underneath that makes the pressure so much more devastating. “And then I’ll sink my cock into your pretty little pussy, fuck you full of me, baby. I’ll keep stuffin’ you full, make you cum so much you soak the sheets through, and I’ll just keep goin’, right baby? God, I’ll make sure you can’t fuckin’ walk tomorrow,” he snarls his words, a violent, primal promise that has your body quaking in his hold as you cum against his thigh.
You sob with the force of your orgasm, curling into Joel’s solid body as he holds you through it, cooing into your ear how good you are, how gorgeous you look. It’s like you can’t suck enough air into your lungs, trying to get ahold of yourself again. Joel never lets you go, holding you like you’re the most precious thing in the world.
When you finally regain control of your breath, your body, you can only tilt your head to his lips to kiss him softly, gently.
“You didn’t get to cum,” you whine, and Joel chuckles at how forlorn you sound. His beautiful, perfect girl, so caring, so doting.
“Trust me, sweetheart,” he grumbles, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. “When you get home tonight, I have plans for both of us that’ll have us wrung fuckin’ dry by mornin’.”
#you know what they say#save a horse etc etc#love you joel love you love you#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x female reader#joel miller smut#joel miller fic#tlou smut
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Someone needs to tell Hawkins that lots of bad things can happen to you that don't ultimately kill you
#opbackgrounds#one piece#ch504#basil hawkins#you know what they say#what doesn't kill you can maim cripple or end up with you getting semi blinded by an admiral
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MOB PSYCHO lOO
* ‧̍̊˙· 𓆝.° 。˚𓆛˚。 °.𓆞 ·˙‧̍̊
Commissions | Shop | Patreon
#mob psycho 100 fanart#mob psycho#mob#mob psycho fanart#mob psycho 100#mp100#shigeo kageyama#anime art#hyperpop#hyperpop art#egg#break them egg#you know what they say#to make an omelette you gotta break a few eggs#BRAIN EXPLODE#lalle art#SoundCloud
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A thing I love about worm is how some people have to do with the horrors of super powers. A good portion of comics have a few characters with super powers that are “out of control” or something like that, but in a good portion of those cases (from off the top of my memory sorry if I’m forgetting something big) they usually end up hurting themselves or dying from it. But I’m most cases of worm your power won’t hurt you, but it will definitely hurt others. Ashley being one of the biggest examples to me that isn’t a case 53. A slight mistake could hurt or kill someone, and that mistake could be moving her hands or fingers in a wrong way. Then there Ash Beast, who I’m not sure how conscious he is of the world around him but still he’s a walking bomb that’s just always going off and you can’t really stop him. Then their burnscar and labyrinth, and almost anyone who was in the Asylum for their own powers. Gosh I think it’s mostly a personal question but which one worm power would be the worst to live with?
#wormblr#parahumans#wardblr#powers kind of suck#case 53 kind of feel like cheating#but if I include them then I think Sveta or egg would be it#poor egg#a lot of good answers but I don’t think theirs a wrong answers#you know what they say#different yolks for different folks#worst joke I’ve ever made
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I love cowboys
#you know what they say#save a horse etc etc#obligatory need that#lowkey wish i was that horse so q would pet me#jackass#mtv jackass#impractical jokers#johnny knoxville#bam margera#ryan dunn#chris pontius#steve o#joe gatto#sal vulcano#brian quinn#james murray#impractical jokers q
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Go, Caleb, give us nothing!
Previous / Next
Lilith: You duplicitous fucking bastard.
Caleb: Lilith, what on earth-
Lilith: Drop the act. I know you know who just showed up on our doorstep. You’ve known all along, haven’t you? Yet rather than let me in on that tiny little fact, you chose to fucking deceive me.
Caleb: [momentarily silent] If you’ll just hear me out-
Lilith: SHUT THE FUCK UP! You know, you’re smarter than I’ve been giving you credit for. I’ll let you have that. Oh, I bet you’ve been patting yourself on the back for pulling the wool over my eyes for so long.
I may have been asleep before, Caleb, but I’m wide awake now, and you will never fool me again. I could end you right here if I wanted to. You have no idea what I’m capable of. Of course you don’t! You’re so determined to keep your precious little conscience clean. But is it really about your so-called morals, baby brother, or are you just too cowardly to face the truth? Aren’t you the least bit curious? [whispers] I can show you. Come on. Just a little taste.
Caleb: [muffled] Lilith, no-
Lilith: Then again, maybe it’s more fun to keep you guessing. Deep down, I think you might already have an idea or two.
Caleb: [weakly] I’m sorry, Lilith.
Lilith: You’re pathetic, and this is a waste of my time. The saddest part is you don’t even have the balls to fight back.
#ts4#sims 4#ts4 story#sims 4 story#simblr#story: hzid#lilith vatore#caleb vatore#DEEP BREATH#you know what they say#one step forward two steps back#violence tw#abuse tw#if anyone thinks other warnings should be added let me know
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Hello again, Trafficblr. What a long time it's been.
Are you also normal?
#life series#trafficblr#jimmy solidarity#grian#evo smp#evolution smp#wild life smp#you know what they say#bam... bambooz... bamboozlers.......#what am i even saying anymore
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🖤🖤
#you know what they say#never waste a friday night on a first date#me#selfies#septum#girls with piercings#girls with curls#girls with curves#gwlg#bi babe#chubby babe#body positive
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They've been through a lot.
They get to be cowboys for a day.
#This was definitely billy's idea#William's just happy to be out of the apartment#Yeehaw#Hawyee#Them learning about the south has been plaguing my mind#I need them line dancing#I need them to know southern foods and slang#And I need everyone back in London to be confused as hell when they return with this knowledge#You know what they say#save a horse#yuukoku no moriarty#moriarty the patriot#william james moriarty#sherlock holmes#billy the kid#liam#sherly#cowbois
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Gerry suffered because he knew too much. Micheal Shelley suffered because he knew too little.
Do you think (in an universe where they both worked at the insitute at the same time,) they envied each other?
Michael heard that Gerry's mother had taught him everything about the forces he himself barely understood, starting when Gerry was a little boy. He thought how good it must feel to know everything, to truly understand the world. He wouldn't have had to spend years looking for an answer. Hell, maybe if he had known more at the time, he could have saved his friend! He admired the look in Gerry's eyes, he admired his tattoos. When you know everything, i'm sure nothing can harm you...
Gerry saw this naive, innocent man and immediately wished he could be like him. Despite working at the institute, Michael understood very little about how the world actually worked. He lived in an illusion where he could trust everybody, where everything would turn out alright if he only believed in the good in the world. He easily fit in, he seemed to have found a place in the world where he felt comfortable. Gerry had never experienced that feeling of belonging. When you know as much as he did, trusting isn't as easy. Feeling at home in the world isn't as easy. Happiness isn't as easy. Oh, what i would give to just be ignorant again...
I still mainly ship doorkeay, but gerrymichael is certainly something.
#you know what they say#opposites attract and all that stuff#tma#the magnus archives#gerrymichael#gerry keay#gerard keay#michael shelley
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I want sanlaw where Law is geeking out about Germa to Sanji or asking him questions or whatever and then Sanji snaps because he doesn't wanna talk about or even think about his shitty family or be associated with them in any way, and that's how Law finds out that Germa is actually abusive as shit and treated Sanji like actual garbage, so he stops talking about them
#you know what they say#never meet your heroes#or villains in this case#he still refuses to call him Soba Mask though#he won't use Stealth Black either ofc#one piece#black leg sanji#one piece sanji#sanji#trafalgar law#surgeon of death#sanlaw#lawsan#one piece law#germa 66
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I hope the SVSSS fanfic authors are taking notes watching the Ambani wedding because now that’s the type of stuff Luo Binghe would be planning for his own wedding to shizun.
#svsss#svsss ideas#svsss au#shen qingqiu#mxtx#luo binghe#scum villain’s self saving system#you know what they say#poverty limits the imagination
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Okarun is the awkward, quiet, nerdy guy OF COURSE THEY WANT HIS DI-
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