#[I think this might be my last one for the night! It's getting late in my timezone.
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lonesome-pear · 3 days ago
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Ok but like. This post got me thinking. I think life’s purpose is both something we will never know and something we can create for ourselves. What if my purpose was purely to bring joy? What if I made the universe empty and uncaring for the sake of longevity, which was not just not my purpose, but the complete opposite? What if life really is just about those little fleeting moments of whimsy? I think it is. I truly believe my one purpose here is to bring joy to other people. Not in a “I’m gonna be a doormat who does nothing but people please” kind of way, but in a “life is hard enough, let’s make it easier for each other” kind of way
The thought of going against that for the sake of. What. Not being forgotten? Not dying? What does that do? Does it prove something? Does it fulfill me? Why would I do it if there’s no reason. Out of curiosity? I don’t think I could justify that, and I do many things just for the sake of “what would it be like?” So idk. Maybe I’ll go laminate a paper towel. Because the universe imploding and leaving only me feels like a very specific kind of hell
I live not for the sake of living, but for the things that happen in life. I decide to get up in the morning not because it extends my life, but because maybe I’ll get to see my friends that day. Hell, maybe I’ll even make them laugh. Maybe they’ll see me and immediately run over to me just to talk for a few minutes while they wait for a ride home. Maybe I’ll bring them a small moment of joy. Maybe that little moment of joy came at a time where they didn’t know those happen anymore. And maybe they’ll do the same for me, because we love each other and we want to make our lives easier for each other
Maybe my friends will make me laugh. Maybe I’ll see them and immediately run up to them just to talk for a few minutes before I go home. Who knows. Maybe the universe continues to exist because I decided to get up and go have moments of genuine connection. Even if they don’t last. Even if they are fleeting. It still mattered. I had a purpose. I might come to end, but the impact those small moments had won’t
Because then my friends will keep going. They’ll get up in the morning and decide to go spread joy to their other friends. And those people will bring happiness to their other friends. And it just keeps going. And some of them will have kids and teach them to do the same. And it just keeps going
So maybe the universe isn’t cold and uncaring. Because how could a universe so uncaring have people in it that are so loving. How could a universe so cold have moments and smiles so warm. How could choosing to be immortal preserve your longevity any more than being remembered for the comfort you brought to others. If you were left alone in the universe, all that would be left is you and it would be a self fulfilling prophecy of having no impact on anything, at least not anymore. But if you choose to live life. Then you could have such a great impact that changes the course of everything forever for the better, even if it’s only a little bit better
Anyway I don’t really have a point here, it’s late at night and I’ve been feeling very existential lately
Or maybe it’s just a laminated paper towel
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I laminated a paper towel
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bratzbrat · 2 days ago
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✟The Witch Hunter!
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pairing: a witch!hunter! Katsuki Bakugo x fem!reader.
cw: mentions of death!/ death threats! | female reader! | mature language! | please proceed with caution! |
1.7k+ words.
ΝϴͲᎬ: hi bugs! sorry it took this long for chapter 4! but I've been up at late hours taking care of my grandma and carrying her for check ups at the hospital these past few days. she's doing better now! so hope ya enjoy!
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⊰𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒 pt.1⊱ »»————> Bitter Hunter...
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"good, you're up," he grunted, noticing your glare as you struggled against the shackles. "we're continuin' on foot."
"are you serious?" you scoffed, tugging against the restraints. "you went all the way back there, just to chain me up again?"
"damn right i did," he shot back, his eyes narrowing. "ain't giving ya' any more chances to use yer tricks."
rolling your eyes, you rose to your feet, "if i wanted to do anything, I would've done so last night..." you scowled, shaking off the cold stiffness lingering in your body from the night before. "so, you're going to drag me through the snow like this?" and your eyes widened as you realized... you were already dressed... though the delicate silver armor that once adorned your core, was missing, but he didn't give you much time to dwell on it
"got a problem?" he challenged, folding his arms. "didn't think so. now, move it." he gripped your arm and tugged you forward with a curt, "let's go."
as he dragged you out of the little house, you we're met with green sceneries, all around, as if snow hadn't almost buried you alive last night, and you gawked at the sight in disbelief. the forest floor was covered in patches of grass and flowers, you could hear the faint sound of running water in a nearby river and birds chirping from their homes in the towering trees. it was unbelievable. and the hunter tugged you forward, to start walking.
you tried keeping pace behind him, your breath picking up as you struggled to follow. the chill in the morning air and the heels you wore were doing you no favors. and each time he pulled on your chains, you winced, feeling bruises form on your wrists.
"can't you at least ease up a bit?" you suggested, trying to maintain a light tone, despite your growing fatigue. "it's not like i'm going anywhere."
"shut it, witch," he shot back, focus unwavering as he navigated the uneven terrain. "the last thing I need is you fallin' behind."
you huffed, rolling your eyes. "well i'm not exactly keen on being here. you're the one dragging me behind you."
"i could leave yer ass here, if you'd like." he muttered, and you could hear the overflowing sarcasm in his voice.
"is this your idea of kindness, then? like last night?" you asked, tilting your head slightly. "what generousity from a witch hunter."
"don' twist it," he growled, glancing back at you with that familiar scowl. "it was survival. that's it. nothin' more."
"sure it was, it's not like you were pressing my bare chest into yours... with your fingers almost digging into my back, might I add..." you retorted, unable to help yourself from teasing him a little. "i thought maybe we'd formed a connection, you know?"
"don' get ahead of yourself," he replied, barely sparing you a glance. "it wasn't like that, it ain't like that, and it won't ever be." he stressed, "i'll never feel anythin' for a witch."
you felt a sting at his words, but you quickly brushed it off. "right, it's ridiculous to think otherwise..." you muttered to yourself.
every step you took was met with sharp rocks and thorny brambles, tearing at your exposed ankles. the blonde hot head, grunted in frustration, each time you stumbled, with a scowl etched across his almost perfect face. the shackles clinked with every move, limiting your balance and speed. when you tripped over an uneven stone and landed hard on your knee, he clicked his tongue in annoyance, folding his arms as if to say, 'of course.'
"can't even walk fuckin' straight without makin' things harder, can ya'?" he growled, looking back at you on the ground.
you shot him a glare, pulling yourself up. "maybe I wouldn't keep tripping if I wasn't chained up like this!"
"maybe you wouldn't be, if I trusted you," he shot back, with a slight bit of mockery in his tone. "now stop whinin' and keep movin'."
your steps felt heavier the longer you walked, and your shoes—meant for anything but landscaping— only worsened the ordeal. a sharp pain pulsed through your foot as you stumbled once more, and you let out a frustrated huff.
"agh- my feet—" you started.
and mr. hot head cut you off with an annoyed snarl, "then quit wearin' those ridiculous fuckin' shoes. ain't doin' anyone favors with 'em."
you bit your tongue, resisting the urge to snap back. the exhaustion was setting in, making it harder to ignore the ache in your feet, the rawness of your wrists and the ever-growing hunger gnawing at your stomach. finally, you had enough.
"stop," you said, tugging back against his grip. "we need to rest."
he spun around, eyes narrowed in irritation. "y'think just 'cause yer tired we're takin' a break? newsflash, princess: we ain't got the luxury."
you stood firm, refusing to budge. "you can grunt all you want, i'm not going anywhere until I can feel my feet again."
he let out a rough exhale, "we're movin', even if I gotta drag ya' the whole way." clearly at the end of his patience.
you dropped to the ground with a huff, closing your eyes for a moment, letting the brief reprieve calm your pounding heart. and you could feel his glare fixed on you.
you looked up at him, undeterred by his hostility. "without my cooperation, we'd have a pretty slim chance of making it out of here alive, you know." you said, your tone unwavering.
his eyes narrowed down at you again and his jaw clenched at your words. "i don' need a godsdamn witch's help," he sneered, "just need you alive long enough to haul your ass back to stand trial. if i gotta drag ya' the whole way there, i will."
"and what then? you think a stiff-necked trial will do anything but waste everyone's time?" you scoffed, rolling your eyes. you could get out of this anytime you wanted...
his lips curled into a bitter smirk. "that stiff-necked trial decides the exact way yer gonna die." he lowered himself down in front of you, "people 're gonna pay good coin to see yer head roll." and sneered, making sure he looked you dead in the eyes. " 'n if they choose torture instead, i'll make sure ya' beg for death. 'cause i'll be the one carryin' it out." his eyes drifted from yours to your slightly parted lips, then quickly darted back up again.
"before that, hunter, i'll make you beg for the help of a witch." you challenged, getting a little lost in his fire.
his words had snapped a few heartstrings that formed when held you for warmth, and you cursed yourself for feeling even a ounce of anything for him, as you looked into his crimson eyes. "so beautiful," you whispered, barely audible and he shuffled back a bit, glaring at you.
you met his stare again, shaking off that thought. "you better pray to the goddess, that we don't run into trouble. you might be strong, but even the strongest have their weaknesses."
he scoffed at your —uncalled for— words, but the flicker of hesitation in his eyes was there, even if, just for a second. ignoring it, he gave a sharp tug on your arm, forcing you back to your feet. "we're wastin' daylight. let's go." was all he brought himself to say.
-
the hours crawled by as you trudged forward and just when you thought you couldn't bear it any longer, you saw a small village ahead, nestled in the valley, like it was forgotten by the rest of the world.
he paused, surveying the huts and cabins, with a tense expression before turning to you. "listen up," he commanded, "keep any 'n all of your... witch crap hidden. last thing I need is anyone seein' me with a livin' one o' you."
"aw, and we were just on the brink of becoming friends too..." you pouted, feigning disappointment.
"try anythin', and I mean at all, and you'll regret it." he shot you a sharp glare, and you had to suppress an amused laugh.
"we wouldn't want that, would we?" you teased, locking eyes with him just before he tugged at your chains, leading you into the village.
you trailed behind him, your eyes drifting over the skeletal remains of what used to be a village. crumbling huts and rotting beams cast shadows across the ash-covered ground, each step stirring up fragments of the life that had once been here. and the only sounds being the crunch of your footsteps.
"oi, witch, keep up. ain't got all day for you to gawk at some broken-down village." he grunted in irritation, glancing back to see you lingering near one of the collapsed structures.
you raised a brow. "what's the matter? are you scared a curse might rub off on you?" you teased.
"tch," he scoffed, turning away from you. "i ain't scared of some pathetic curse. just don' wanna spend any more time in witch-infested places than I gotta." but that wasn't it. something else had been rubbing him in all wrong ways as he scanned the area.
a smirk tugged at your lips as you followed him, sensing his unease. "you're jumpier than I expected for a witch hunter," you muttered under your breath, knowing he could hear.
he whipped around, "i'm not a witch hunter, i'm the witch hunter. the best there is. so watch it. witch." he spat back, quick to correct you.
rolling your eyes, you crossed your arms. "if you were actually the best, you'd know curses don't stick like that."
"like i'd trust anythin' ya' say, witch. all yer people do is twist words to get what ya' want." he sneered, glaring back at you.
shaking your head, you brushed past him, challenging his intense stare. "believe what you will, hunter. and you better hope your strength is enough, for if we run into anything more than a curse here."
you jinxed it...
a low, guttural rumble vibrated through your body, a sound that sent a chill down your spine. and you spun around, searching for what that could've possibly come out of. your mind racing as you considered what kind of creature was watching you— a tiger? bear? something worse?
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thank you for reading! hope you enjoyed!
find the previous chapters in my masterlist!
you can also comment to be added to the taglist for
✟The Witch Hunter!
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©𝐵𝑙𝑢♡
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»»————>𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!
@annepamgkrth @pikachuzhc @icedemon1314 @d1orhaz3 @alyssasblogthings @katsucookies @hashahasha @mythicalmo @k0z3me @nanaanatiion
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ahyperactivehero · 2 days ago
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If you're still feeling DBD drabbles I'd love some post-canon Edwin and Crystal bonding (making fun of celebrities together? studying magic? comparing rich neglectful parents?)
I love a good Edwin and Crystal bonding moment! I hope that if we ever get season 2 we get to see more of them bickering and bonding. Because these two remind me of me and my sibling so strongly it almost hurts <3
(reminder that i am taking election night drabbles, although i can't promise they'll be posted tonight. i'm working on as many as i can, but it is getting late! i'll likely finish most of them tomorrow unfortunately)
Drabble 2 
Crystal and Edwin were at war. Or at least, that’s what Crystal would have labeled themselves as. According to Charles this was simply, ‘Edwin when he likes you,’ which Crystal wanted to be judgemental about, but she had her memories back and she could remember what a menace she’d been to people she liked.
“It is not hard, Crystal,” Edwin stressed, leaning heavily on to the desk in front of him. At some point in time he had abandoned his coat and jacket and rolled his sleeves up in what had to be the most laid back outfit Crystal had ever seen him in.
Yet there was nothing relaxed about Edwin. She’d never known him to be a particularly relaxed person, but there was a strange undercurrent of stress that was running through him that she was pretty sure wasn’t always there.
She sighed again for what must have been the millionth time and dropped her phone onto the couch next to her. It’s not like anyone she actually liked contacted her that way. In fact, she’d been arguing with her mom the last time someone had actually reached out to her, which had only resulted in Crystal storming out of the house and crashing in the agency’s office for a few days.
Which brought them to where they were now. Edwin tapped the book in front of him, looking for all the world like a young teaching assistant annoyed with his students. “If you would simply try, I know you cou-”
Violently, she shoved herself up off of the couch. Her feet banged against the floor, almost loud enough to rattle the windows, and for once she was glad Charles wasn’t here. She didn’t want him to see her like this.
“I have tried, Edwin! I’ve tried, okay! Have you ever tried shutting up?!” she asked before throwing herself back down onto the couch, her back turned towards the world as if that might somehow block out the ghost.
One of Crystal’s favorite and least favorite things about Edwin was that he never seemed to be dissuaded by her poor attitude. Sometimes, it even seemed to encourage him. “If you had actually tried, you would have cast the spell,” Edwin said. There was no heat to his voice, not even an ounce of actual anger to him– even though Crystal was sure he was pissed.
She squeezed her eyes shut. Maybe if she did that she’d be able to block out Edwin’s voice and the tears at the same time. “I did try,” she said, all of the fire in her voice having faded until it sounded broken and sad.
The sound of soft footsteps filled the room. Edwin’s familiar sounding boots shuffled against the floor until he reached the couch and seemed to hover there for a moment. 
“Ah,” he said. “I see.”
And Crystal wasn’t sure what he meant until she rolled over and saw him looking at her phone. 
“You are fighting with your parents,” he said.
“So what?” she asked and snatched her phone out of his hands.
“So, magic, especially one as instinctual and ingrained as yours, is highly influenced by your emotions.” Crystal glared up at him from the corner of her eye, which forced him to hold his hands up in defense. “Not because you are a woman, or whatever else it is you might be thinking I meant. Just because magic works that way.”
They needed a new couch. She poked at a hole that had long since been worn into the cushion and pulled out a bit of stuffing before sticking it back inside. “So I’m just going to keep fucking it up?” she asked.
Edwin sat down on the floor with his back to the couch. It was almost easier to talk this way, the two of them back to back. At least then she didn’t have to see his judgmental face, and he wouldn’t have to see her cry.
Not that she was crying, of course.
“No,” Edwin said quietly. “You will not keep ‘fucking it up.’ Although it will likely take time for you to get used to doing magic with such intentions, not just relying on your instincts to guide you.”
She pulled another thing of stuffing out before shoving it back in. “What’s so wrong with instincts?” Her ancestors had done fantastically for her so far.
Edwin shuffled, but she couldn’t figure out what he had done. “Nothing. Instincts are, as Charles would say, brills. They help keep you alive and safe and have been developed for exactly that reason.”  He shifted again, and this time Crystal could feel him fully leaning back against the couch, and the goosebumps that a ghost in too close proximity caused raised along her skin. 
“But what happens if you can’t trust your instincts? What if something has changed or been manipulated and you can’t trust them?” he asked.
And Crystal knew they were talking about something heavy, something that Edwin would definitely rather not talk about with her. But here he was, talking about it with her just the same.
“You mean Hell?” she asked. She rolled over just enough to get a peek at the top of Edwin’s head. Even though she could see very little of him, she could tell that he was nervous and that made her nervous.
“Not strictly speaking of Hell. There are plenty of supernatural beings with the ability to manipulate you or your senses for their own gains.” He looked over his shoulder, his eyes barely catching hers. “But yes, I was referring to demons like David.”
Her nails had already been bitten down to the quick, but she chewed on them anyways. Buzzes shook the couch as more texts from her mom chimed in, likely just another rant about what an awful child she was and how she was making everything so difficult for them.
“They’re just saying those things because they feel like they are failing as parents,” Edwin said. He’d turned back away, his eyes staring into the closet as if it offered something particularly interesting inside. “And while that might be true, that does not mean that you are a failure.”
She snorted. “Oh yeah,” she said. “What do you know about it?”
Edwin’s sharp green eyes turned towards her before quickly cutting away. “You are hardly the only one to grow up with rich, neglectful parents,” Edwin said. “Why do you think I was sent away to school in the first place?”
Any and all fight she had had in her died. Fighting with Edwin was supposed to be fun and sharp and quick– it didn’t seem fair to fight him when he was being so honest.
A forced smile spread across her face as she reached out and bumped him with her hand. “Shoulda known you had rich parents,” she said. “Look at how you talk.”
Edwin furrowed his brow. “Everyone at school spoke the way I do.”
“Exactly.”
They sat in silence for a while before Crystal sighed and held out her hand. “Gimme the book,” she said. Which Edwin gracefully did.
The original language was too hard for Crystal to read, but Edwin had written it down in English and then wrote it out phonetically below that. It wasn’t very long, nor was it anything special, just a minor illusion spell. It wouldn’t be enough to trick anyone, or save her from a demon, but it was definitely a start. 
“Charles will be happy you’re trying again,” Edwin said as she ran her hands over the pages. 
“Oh yeah?” she asked. Was that a B or a D? Edwin’s handwriting was so nice it was almost hard to read.
“He takes his job very seriously as the brawn,” Edwin said, as if she needed to be told that. “But it makes him happy to know that you or I could defend ourselves with spells if we had to.”
Once again she snorted. “But you never do,” she said. “And I don’t see how this little spell is supposed to help.”
Edwin nodded. “Never need to. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be able to in return. Besides, this was one of the first spells I ever learned, and it's a great base to build on.”
And maybe that was a better way of looking at it. Not just defending herself or learning magic that some old, dead person other than Edwin had created when she could just use her own ancestral abilities. No, this was just another way to protect not only herself but the people she had come to love. 
Plus, wouldn’t it be nice to have a base spell that she could work on? If she could master this, maybe she could use some elements from it in her family's own magic.
Slowly, she read the words out as she tried to picture what she wanted to show Edwin. It wouldn’t be perfect, she was sure of that, but God if she wasn’t going to make this time work.
Purple petals and leaves filled the air as the image of the tree inside herself appeared in her palm. It was shaky, the picture almost glitchy and waving before reappearing slightly less detailed than before. It was as if someone had roughly sketched what was inside her without any special art talent.
But dammit, that was her tree, and she had cast it.
“It’s beautiful,” Edwin said. His eyes were wide, and he leaned in. Petals settled over him for a moment before passing through him on the way to the ground. She wondered if that was a ghost thing or a magic thing. 
“This is me,” she said. 
Edwin glanced at her before turning back to the tree. “Your ancestors’ tree,” he said, finally understanding. “I can only imagine how amazing it is in person.”
Pride she hadn’t expected to feel flooded her, filling her tree with even more light until it nearly blinded the two of them. Edwin folded her hands closed, shutting off the spell as they blinked spots from their vision.
She smiled sheepishly and he grinned back at her, one of the first true smiles she thought she had ever seen on his face. 
“We’ll work on that,” he said.
And they would.
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changetyre · 2 days ago
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Not like this (P10) II Charles Leclerc x Reader (Mafia AU)
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SUMMARY: After losing everything you seek out your biggest and longest-standing enemy to finish it all.
WARNING: Violence, blood, mentions of death, slow burn.
A/N: Better late than never...
As you sped away into the night, tires screeching against the damp pavement, the silence in the car seemed louder than that of the gunfire you'd just escaped. You kept your gaze trained forward, unwilling to betray any hint of the turmoil in your mind. You never meant to drag him into this mess, yet here he was, determined to help you when he could have easily abandoned you or killed you. 
You hadn't spoken a word since you'd bolted from his place, the weight of unspoken thoughts hanging heavily in the car. Finally, he broke the silence, voice low but tense.
"Did you let anyone see you? In your little escapade?" he asked his grip tight on the steering wheel, eyes fixed on the road.
You glanced at him, unsure whether it was anger or something else. "No. I was careful Charles."
His jaw clenched. "You're sure no one caught even a glance?"
"I don't know," You replied honestly, averting your gaze. "It's possible Charles...I-I don't know."
He scoffed. "You don't know..." he repeated your words. 
"Charles I told you you didn't have to do this. Are you second-guessing your decisions? Why did you even run with me then?" I questioned him, aware of the building tension between us. 
He laughed bitterly. "Good question. Maybe I have a weakness for trouble. Or maybe," he glanced at you, his dark eyes softening as he looked at you, "I'm not as willing to let you go as I should be."
You let out a shaky breath. Your walls, carefully constructed over years of deceit and control, felt dangerously close to crumbling. Here you were, vulnerable and exposed, relying on the man you'd once thought of as nothing but an enemy. 
"Pull over," You said abruptly, your voice barely above a whisper.
He shot you a sideways glance, eyebrows knit in confusion. "Are you insane? Do you want to get killed now? They could have followed us you know?"
"Just pull over!" you screamed, your desperation left no room for argument.
Reluctantly, he guided the car to a secluded side street, the engine growing silent. You leaned forward, your head in your hands, and your breathing was uneven.
For a moment, he thought you might be on the brink of passing out, the overbearing weight of everything finally overtaking you. But then you lifted your head, meeting his gaze with a fierceness he hadn't seen in you in a long time.
"You don't get it, do you?" you laughed, a defeated laugh, voice shaking with a mixture of anger. 
"Whoever did this to me...whoever is coming after me won't stop. They're cruel. They've already wiped out everyone in my circle, everyone I ever cared about, and trusted. They just came after you too Charles. I'm the last loose end...and anyone who gets close to me becomes a target, you've become a target." you looked him straight in the eyes. 
"I'm not exactly a stranger to danger," he replied, his voice calm but with a firmness to it. "You think I haven't faced threats before? I'm not some helpless bystander."
"This is different Charles" you insisted, frustration evident in your voice. "They're organized, smart. They know my moves, my strengths, my weaknesses. And now...they know you're involved."
His expression softened, and he reached over, his hand grasping yours, warm and grounding. "I'm not running away. As I said, we're doing it together...and we'll be ready"
You stared at him, still confused as to why he was so adamant to stay by your side. For so long, you'd built your life around distrust, convinced that everyone would betray you. But here he was, offering support...and maybe something else she was to scared to face. 
"Ok." I nodded looking down at your linked hands, a small sigh of resignation slipping out. "This won't be pretty Leclerc. There's no telling what they'll throw at us next."
He smirked, shifting the car back into gear. "Let them come." His tone was so confident it almost made me believe there was no way we would be defeated. 
Charles started driving again, in silence, but it was different this time. The tension that had once simmered between you now felt like something else his hand remained linked with yours and it wasn't awkward. You tried to ignore the way your pulse quickened whenever his fingers brushed against your hand or the way he would use your hand to change gears instead of letting go. You tried focusing on formulating a plan, piecing together the scattered fragments of information you had.
"We need somewhere safe to hide out," he said after a while, breaking her thoughts. 
"I know a place," she replied, her voice steady. "But I have no way to tell if it's compromised. Could be dangerous."
"Risks don't scare me." Charles smiled. 
You hesitated. "It's an old safehouse on the outskirts of the city, that belonged to my great-grandparents. Hardly anyone knows about it. Or at least I hope." 
"We can't keep driving forever. We have to risk it." Charles agreed. 
You nodded, Your mind already shifting into a tactical mode, plotting the next steps. If you reached the safehouse, you'd have a chance to gather supplies, and maybe even access some information about who was behind the attack. But a gnawing doubt and fear lingered, that the safehouse was already compromised. 
The drive felt endless, the road twisting through darkened streets and deserted alleyways. You drove all night, city lights faded as you moved toward the outskirts, replaced by the eerie silence and loneliness of abandoned buildings. Finally, you arrived, the safehouse looked just like every other abandoned house you'd passed, with no indication of recent activity. 
You'd exited the car cautiously, scanning the area for any sign of movement. You led him to a hidden door on the side of the building, taking a deep breath before pressing a series of numbers into a camoflaged keypad. A few seconds passed before a door clicked open, and you both quickly slipped inside, your relief was palpable as the heavy door sealed shut behind you.
The safe house was sparse, a relic from another life. Dust covered the surfaces, and the air was stale, but it was uncompromised. You motioned for him to sit while you searched for supplies, grabbing a first-aid kit from a cabinet in the corner.
"You're bleeding," he noted, his tone a mixture of surprise and concern.
You glanced down, You'd noticed the red seeping through your clothes in the car but chose to say anything knowing Charles would only grow concerned. But the adrenaline was fading, and the pain was creeping up. "I'll be fine. I've handled worse." You waved him off. 
He took the kit from your hands, his gaze dark. "Sit down." he ordered.
You relented, allowing him to tend to your deep but minor wound. You couldn't help but be reminded of the night that started it all, Charles's touch once harsh and uncaring now the opposite. 
His was careful and precise, and you found yourself studying him, the light furrow of his brows. You once hated him, seeing him as nothing more than an obstacle in her way. But now, as he focused intently on your wounds, you felt a strange warmth bloom in your chest, one you didn't dare acknowledge.
"Thank you," you murmured, your voice barely audible.
He looked up, a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. "Don't make this a habit." He joked. 
"You growing fond of me Leclerc?" You smirked. He stared at you, your gazes locking for a few seconds but he didn't answer. 
"We need to figure out who's behind this," he said finally, breaking the silence. "I might have a few contacts who might know something, but it's a gamble."
You nodded. "I might know some people to, it seems whoever is behind this knows I'm not dead so there's no point in trying to stay invisible anymore."
"Then we'll start there." His voice was steady, but his gaze lingered on you, searching. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"
"I don't have a choice," you replied, your expression hardening. "Whoever did this won't stop until I'm dead. I have to face them head-on."
The determination in your voice was fierce, and he couldn't help but feel a surge of admiration. You were stronger than he'd ever accepted, and despite everything, he was glad to be by your side.
It took 3 days. You took turns sleeping making sure someone was always alert, when you were both away you worked together to plan your next steps, to find information. On the third day once it was finally getting dark you set your plan into motion. 
You were going to split up, each to contact your own sources, gathering whatever intel you could find. You had insisted it was safer this way, less chance of both of them being targeted at once, he had refuted, adamant on sticking together but you had somehow convinced him despite a part of you hating the idea of leaving his side. You agreed that maximum in a week from now you were to meet here again. 
If one of you didn't show up...it was clear what that meant. 
"Promise me you'll be careful," you said, surprising yourself with the fragility of your voice.
He gave you a reassuring nod, his hand taking yours in an action that had become familiar. "You too." his grip on your hand tightened. "We're going to get through this." he sighed as if also trying to convince himself of this. 
With one last glance, you parted ways. 
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gam3-b01 · 21 hours ago
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winter
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pairing(s): jeon wonwoo x reader
genre(s): angst
wc: ~1.3k
warnings: suggestive content (hankypanky related activities), just sad hours in general, minors dni just to be safe
(a/n: my first post on this blog, this was one of my earliest drafts and i needed to get it out of my system ahahsjdnd. the way some people might know who i am because i used the term hanky panky is concerning but also hilarious, if you see this i love you bro sorry for angst hours i stayed up too late to make sane decisions sorry i had to. song inspo for this fic is winter by two feet)
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It's not a thing, right? This hasn't happened before.
But the familiarity with which you look up at him from under the covers slaps Wonwoo in the face before he has the time to process the content haziness clouding your eyes. His tense frame relaxes involuntarily, and he slips in beside you but not before checking your bare skin for any bruises he might have accidently left after almost soldering you to the mattress barely ten minutes ago. As he slips an arm around your middle and you tell him without any kindness whatsoever that his hands are way too cold for you (and that he should probably get checked for anaemia because, and he quotes, "even hell freezing over generates more fucking warmth than you do"), he realises he has to stop lying to himself and acknowledge the fact that realistically, this has actually definitely happened before.
This exact night, every single frame of it, happened last year. And the year before that. And the year before that one? No, the both of you were still together back then. Probably. What year was three years ago? Time was always a muddy, comically abstract concept when it came to each other for the both of you.
Maybe it would be easier for him to count the years winter to winter. Because when Wonwoo visits his hometown at the beginning of every December, a series of events occur. He sets his bags down at his place and spends the first week in radio silence recuperating with his family, ignoring the 20 odd messages he gets from Mingyu about his dog and updates (read: gossip) from their shared workplace. The next week usually is spent catching up with old friends mostly out of obligation, and the third week is occupied by Christmas. The fourth-ish week is when all of his friends asking about you begins to get to his head. By around the 28th of December, he's sick of lying awake in his childhood bed, staring at the ceiling as he tries to forget things that should never have happened in the first place. Eventually he sits up, runs a hand through his hair, puts on his glasses, and spritzes on something that you liked to call "sandalwood crack" before shrugging on his jacket and heading out.
Where to though? He pretends to think for a while before giving up. And when he steps into the bar after paying for his cab, he is never, ever surprised or secretly relieved when he spots you sitting in the stool furthest away from the air conditioning. You look wasted, but the soda cans strewn about you indicate otherwise. You've stopped drinking after the breakup. You're doing well with sobriety. He opens with that like the asshole he is, and you have the decency to cuss at him like a sailor and pass him a stool as you say something vaguely self-depreciating as a joke about the near-alcoholism you contracted back then. He opts for silence. And you ask him to take it easy despite him having opened the fire. Ever tolerant. Like the gentle undercurrents of a river (not like you didn't have a temper on you, you just tended to be nice when you saw him after long periods of time. Was it because you missed him? The mere thought had him shrivelling up a little inside). Wasn't he supposed to be the water sign between you both? He remembers the natal chart phase you had when you were nineteen, which reminds him you were his best friend of nine years before the both of you stopped talking. He expertly shoves that piece of information away before it tries to hurt him one more time.
(...What kind of best friend asks, no, begs him to leave and never contact them again? Maybe the kind whose best friend actually proceeded to do exactly that without ever putting up a fight? Fuck.)
Things somehow, without fail, end up leading you both to the nearest motel when one of you ends up saying something incredibly reckless and all the other person can do is gape hopelessly, words murdered in cold blood right when they were about to be bailed out from their throat. The rest of a night is a senseless, irresponsible blur, and then?
The rough part begins.
One of you is going to leave in the next thirty minutes if Wonwoo's doing his gut arithmetic right. He wished he sucked at math sometimes, he really did.
However, he blinks a bit. Something feels off, something feels different. You're not leaving (is it his turn this time..?). Instead, you're turning around, eyes vulnerable and still blown a little wide as you touch his hair with a flavour of fondness he could not imitate even if he tried his damndest to.
He freezes for only a second before his lips seek yours out of habit. He truly loathes the way he groans at how much it affects him, but what else is he supposed to do when he knows you're trying to hold back that little sound you make when you get desperate for him? He's almost willing to let you take the lead because he feels like his system is going into overdrive, willing to let you finally ruin whatever's left of him, but sanity prevails by a hanging thread as he takes back control from you with a firm hand on your jaw. His grip is gentle unlike earlier, and despite knowing you like it when he's mean to you, his eyes shine with something completely different when he breaks the kiss for a moment to take in everything he can about you right now and burn this anomaly into his memory.
(Because what else will he be ever be able to think of on every single cold, miserable night for many years to come after that look you gave him before he kissed you? That look that made it look like you still loved him, why did you have to do that?)
You're staring at him like you've been burned, and he's trying his damndest not to flinch away when he sees raw, unabashed hurt begin to filter through your soft irises.
"Don't look at me like that." You start.
"Like what?"
"Like you-", you gulp nervously, eyes quickly losing the content sheen radiating off of you earlier.
"-like you actually want me or something."
Externally, the tenderness in his eyes is instantly replaced by whatever the fuck he usually looks like, but internally, he's trying his best not to scream. Your words are unfair, cruel even. How can the one person who knows him like the back of their hand not grasp the one fundamental truth that makes up his very core?
The alarm system inside his head built just for you tells him you feel sick, just like he does. He knows you've gleaned that much as well, and makes no effort to stop you as you slip out of the bed with the sheets hugging your chest in one fluid motion.
"I feel so sick, Wonwoo."
"I know."
Your heart is as tangled up as his is, and no matter how many times the both of you manage to land into each other's arms, neither of you seem to be capable of unravelling the other without tearing everything apart.
He watches you collect yourself before turning to him, face stone cold, with eyes that now look foreign to him as you deliver the parthian shot.
"I think that I should go."
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lazyneonrabbitt · 22 hours ago
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Cream
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Adar x Reader | SMUT🔞
Adar's pregnant lover aches, and Adar offers relief and gets himself a treat while doing so.
A cup of fluffy, steaming hot milky goodness for anon~
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Grumbling you paced through the rugged wartent you called home. Your entire body hurt when you didn't spend your time sleeping. But sleep wouldn't come when not a single position you laid in pullee at yoir muscles without Adar offering the needed support. The rolls of fur were just not doing the trick.
"My moon, what is keeping you up this late?" Adar had walked in on you waddling around the house, a hand on your large belly and one at the small of your back. "Come, to bed with you." He tossed his gauntlet aside and stepped behind you, his back leaning against the remains of a brick wall with you pulled against him. His hands found the underside of your belly and lifted ir just the smallest bit, instantly relieving tension on your body and earning a satisfied sigh from you.
Adar's lips were at your ear, pressing soft kisses to the shell. "I know you feel discomfort, it will be over soon."
He loved you. All of you. He looked at you like you hung the stars in the sky, and now the full moon as well.
Adar let you rest against him for a little while longer before taking you to bed. Way too soft for him nowadays but it brought you comfort, and with that thought he managed to get the small amount he needed and even a little more some nights, tangled in each others' limbs.
Adar rid himself of armor and cloth, leaving him in just trousers as he laid down beside you. Yet still with each movement you groaned in discomfort, wanting to curl up away from him, even with Adar's everlasting patience when it came to discussing more intimate topics.
The truth was, Adar loved you so much he spent days preparing foods for you, seeing which ones you could keep down. He washed you from head to toe, cleaned the vomit off your garment and out of your hair during your early months.
He didn't need to speak words aloud, his eyes spoke for him.
"My chest is sore.." You mumbled under your breath, not daring to look at him where je laid beside you, propped up on his elbow as his free hand found hip. "I tried massaging like you do when I ache but it hurts. And leaks.."
You saw Adar perk up at your last words, a soft smile on his lips as his hand moved to undo the string that held your dress together to take a closer look. Not that he needed a reason to undress you, ever. You'd let him.
With the neckline widened enough he pushed the dress off your shoulders, gently helping your arms out of the fabric and let it hang loose under your chest.
With careful touches he held your breast, his thumb rubbing around it to inspect. Apologies sounded as you whined in discomfort, and with each soft press Adar watched white fluid run down his fingers.
"There is nothing wrong with you." Adar spoke in a voice calm and comforting, his dull blue eyes looking up at you and pressing a kiss to the top of your breast.
"Your body is overproducing. Do you wish for my help to lessen the pain?" Without really thinking of it he licked his fingers clean and watched you nod, asking for his help.
With a nod of his own in return he lowered his head to your chest, mouth open and tongue out to lap at your nipple. A soft gasp of surprise sounded from you, but that didn't stop him from moving on to wrap his lips around it and suck.
It felt strange, the gentle tug each time he sucked and drank from you. Every fiber in your body said it was wrong, to let him do this, but it felt good.
It felt good and you felt loved. His actions might have been considered taboo among your kind, but the uruk were different. And oh, how Adar's tongue flicked over your pebbled nipple inbetween sucking on it so delicately was making you feel good.
Maybe even almost as good as he was, feeling his hard cock press against your thigh. One hand found his hair as the other drew patterns over his back. Soft sighs and moans sounded through the air, with your fingers tangled at Adar's roots tugging as his fingers found your wet folds and slicked his fingerpads and tease your clit.
"Hah-- ohh Adarr." You mewled as he let go of your nipple with a wet pop. "P.. please, don't stop.. Feels so good.."
"Oh, I am nowhere near done, my moon. Relax and let me care for you." Adar's attention moved to your other breast, where he repeated the motion of flicking his tongue before starting to suckle. This time being less careful and moaning as he tasted you. "Oh my love, I fear once our child is born I will be jealous they get to do this every day.." His hips rolled against your thigh, rutting to create some desperately needed friction. The way you whined and mewled as he rubbed circles on your clit and the taste of your milk on his tongue was almost overwhelming. He was now riding your thigh in the proces of easing your discomfort with his mouth and fingers.
"You may have a taste, whenever you wish.." You moaned when his fingers spread more of your slick all over your sensitive bud, bucking your hips up against his hand and tugging hard at his hair. Your walls clenched around nothing at a harsh press of Adar's fingers. You were close, and so was Adar going off the sounds he made.
"You make me feel s.. so good, love." You stuttered through your sentence as you crept closer to your climax, finding Adar's ear tip to rub between your fingers.
With a couple more ruts, rubs, sucks and sighs Adar pulled his mouth off your breast and moved to press his lips flush against yours just as his fingers pulled an orgasm from you. The sensation of your own milk flowing into your mouth through Adar's lips only amplified your high, sending pure bliss through your entire body. You barely came down when Adar's hips stilled against your thigh with a groan, entirely satisfied and ready to pass out.
Panting, Adar looked up at you. "Has the ache faded?" His eyes followed your head lolling back onto the plush of the bed with a smile. "Yes, Adar. It has, thank you."
A satisfied hum left him then, arms snaking around your frame as he settled, careful to give you enough space to get comfortable and wrap himself around you for support.
"Good night, my moon."
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glossdebut · 2 days ago
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PRICE OF FAME | MYG ★ PLAYLIST
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hello!!! music is going to play a very important part in the price of fame series, so i wanted to post this playlist i’ve been working on since september when i originally had the idea for the story! i have been listening to this playlist nonstop while writing and i'm pretty proud of it tbh
there is a spotify link for the playlist, but i have also linked every song below on youtube if you don’t have spotify! + i’ve included the lyrics from each song that are most relevant to yoongi & MC
anyway!!! ahhhhh chapter one is being posted tomorrow! are we excited??? i know i am! if you listen to this playlist, please let me know what you think! any thoughts/feedback/THEORIES are 100% welcome (:
『 spotify link ★ series masterlist 』
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01. price of fame | brent faiyaz
『 all of the things they want / and don't know why they want it (i know, look) / they don't wanna give you time to heal / they just wanna bleed you dry, for real / and if you're comfortable, don't let no one know / they'll fuck it up (i know) 』
02. perhaps vampires is a bit strong but… | arctic monkeys
『 well, i ain't got no dollar signs in my eyes / that might be a surprise but it's true / said, "i'm not like you and i don't want your advice / or your praise or to move in the ways you do and i never will" / 'cause all you people are vampires / and all your stories are stale / and though you pretend to stand by us / i know you're certain we'll fail 』
03. celebrity skin | hole
『 when i wake up in my makeup / have you ever felt so used up as this? / it's all so sugarless, hooker, waitress / model, actress, oh, just go nameless / honeysuckle, she's full of poison / she obliterated everything she kissed / now she's fading somewhere in hollywood / i'm glad i came here with your pound of flesh 』
04. evil twin | arctic monkeys
『 it's more a hunger than a thirst / she'll break your heart the second time / before you know about the first / looks well equipped to leave you in the lurch / but you'd let her do her worst / and it's not hard to tell / it's obvious the other angels' faces fell / when she told him that she had to go / swapped her wings and overcoat for something colorful 』
05. ignorance | paramore
『 if i'm a bad person, you don't like me / well, i guess i'll make my own way / it's a circle, a mean cycle / i can't excite you anymore / where's your gavel? your jury? / what's my offense this time? / you're not a judge, but if you're gonna judge me / oh, sentence me to another life / don't wanna hear your sad songs, i don't wanna feel your pain / when you swear it's all my fault 'cause you know we're not the same 』
06. escapism. | raye ft. 070 shake
『 last night really was the cherry on the cake / been some dark days lately and i'm findin' it cripplin' / excuse my state, i'm as high as your hopes / that you'll make it to my bed, get me hot and sizzlin' / if i take a step back to see the glass half-full / at least it's the prada two-piece that i'm trippin' in / and i'm already actin' like a dick, know what i mean? / so you might as well stick it in 』
07. still take you home | arctic monkeys
『 well, it's ever so funny / 'cause i don't think you're special, i don't think you're cool / you're just probably alright / but under these lights you look beautiful / and i'm struggling, i can't see through your fake tan / yeah, and you know it for a fact that everybody's eating out of your hands / but what do you know? / oh, you know nothing / yeah, but i'll still take you home 』
08. the doll people | sofia isella
『 the doll people are not men / they are made of ass and glass / our skin is clay and painted blue / our head can detach / we are statues with a pulse / we are art you can fuck / the doll people are quiet / what is there to say? / art does not interpret itself / there are men with a day to save / we are paintings with legs / we are art you can fuck 』
09. supervixen | garbage
『 a hit is hard to resist, and i never miss / i can take you out with just a flick of my wrist / make a whole new religion / a fallin' star that you cannot live without / and i'll feed your obsessions / there is nothin' but this thing that you'll never doubt / this thing you'll never doubt 』
10. popular | the weeknd & madonna ft. playboi carti
『 beggin' on her knees to be popular / that's her dream, to be popular / kill anyone to be popular / sell her soul to be popular / just to be popular / everybody scream 'cause she popular / she mainstream 'cause she popular / never be free 'cause she popular 』
11. teddy picker | arctic monkeys
『 and it's the thousandth time that it's even bolder / don't be surprised when you get bent over / they told you, but you were dying for it / she saw it and she grabbed it and it wasn't what it seemed / the kids all dream of making it, whatever that means 』
12. she’s my collar | gorillaz ft. kali uchis
『 she's the serpentine, she's my collar / i send a message, never call her / and now i wanna taste another / and it's safe in a persona, she's my collar / nothing to be justified in / she the first i'm running with / she the one that get my collar / she the one i'm running with 』
13. petals | hole
『 they will make you so / so cynical / the fire burns the flesh / destroys the best that made our souls / she's the grace of this world / she's too pure / for the likes of this world / this world is a whore / tear the petals off of you / and make you tell the truth 』
14. reptilia | the strokes
『 now every time that i look at myself / i thought i told you, this world is not for you / the room is on fire and she's fixing her hair / you sound so angry, just calm down, you found me / i said please don't slow me down if i'm going too fast / you're in a strange part of our town 』
15. the summoning | sleep token
『 oh, and my love / did i mistake you for a sign from god / or are you really here to cast me off? / or maybe just to turn me on / 'cause these days / i would be lying if i told you that / i didn't wish that i could be your man / or maybe make a good girl bad 』
16. guns + ammunition | july talk
『 guns and ammunition / make bullets out of you / you speak dynamic diction / and i see right through that too / when i think about you / my whole world falls through 』
17. false alarm | the weeknd
『 bathroom stalls for the powder nose (she loves) / high heel shoes with the open toes (she loves) / she's got a good time wrapped in gold / for you, for you / all red dress with the devil eyes (she loves) / so obsessed with the camera lights (she loves) / you love her, but you can't deny / the truth, the truth 』
18. image | magdalena bay
『 what's the best you've got? / i forgot all my common sense / i need all the common sense / time to start the clock, from the top / i need confidence / confidence in medicine / but oh, my god / twenty-two more minutes / oh, so hot / meet your brand new image 』
19. when the night is over | lord huron
『 now the trail has gone cold / i don't know where else to go / and my time, i fear, is nearly over / when the ocean drinks the sky / and the city winks its eye / when the night is done, you'll vanish in the sun / will i hold you when the night is over? 』
20. self explained | cherry glazerr
『 i started reeking of the people i was with / i have no secret, i was freaking out a bit / i took a chopper 'cause i grew up with a lot of changes / i am alone a lot, i see this as my weakness / i am embarrassed of my solo, i don't know why / i don't want people to know how much time i spend alone / time i spend alone, time i spend alone, time i spend alone / when i take you on, i try / when i take you on, i try 』
21. bad guy | billie eilish
『 i'm only good at bein' bad, bad / i like when you get mad / i guess i'm pretty glad that you're alone / you said she's scared of me? / i mean, i don't see what she sees / but maybe it's 'cause i'm wearing your cologne 』
22. cinnamon girl | lana del rey
『 there's things i wanna say to you / but i'll just let you live / like if you hold me without hurting me / you'll be the first who ever did / there's things i wanna talk about / but better not to give / but if you hold me without hurting me / you'll be the first who ever did 』
23. fake happy | paramore
『 oh, please, don't ask me how i've been / don't make me play pretend, oh, no / oh, what's the use? / oh, please, i bet everybody here is fake happy too / and if i go out tonight, dress up my fears / you think i look alright with these mascara tears? / see, i'm gonna draw my lipstick wider than my mouth / and if the lights are low, they'll never see me frown 』
24. distressor | cherry glazerr
『 dip it in my makeup / take a place away from the main stage / better than a traitor / push up on the fader / i just wanna drown in my own noise / i just wanna drown in my own noise / beneath time, the only faces i can see / are the faces i pushed away from me / so i can just be 』
25. billions | caroline polachek
『 psycho, priceless / good in a crisis / working the angles / oh, billions / sexting sonnets / under the tables / tangled in cables / oh, billions / salty (ah), flavor (ah) / lies like a sailor / but he loves like a painter 』
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✧ TAGLIST: @jajabro @pitchblack0309 @sugar-snap @ot72025 @ktownshizzle
@futuristicenemychaos @tea4sykes @sugainmybowl @namjoonsbuspass @wobblewobble822
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liauditore · 5 months ago
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[asmr boyfriend voice] woof woof bark bark
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dykevanny · 7 months ago
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had a really funny idea for an ask blog ft. Vanny and another plex employee oc,,
#Get this right. 2 pizzaplex employees accidentally get tumblr famous bc someone has been leaving weird graffiti everywhere and#Getting up to other shenanigans and sends asks abt it to this one like urban exploration blog. Who later gets an ask basically like#Hey I work at the plex?? This is some insider info only another employee would know????#The two anons are constantly back and forth in this persons inbox and are eventually assigned nicknames#‘Pix’ for the mystery vandalism employee because she shows up as nothing but weird pixels and glitches on cameras#The other employee is ‘Cam’ because they have been monitoring all this on the cameras#One day they get each others blogs and keep sending each other death threats and shit jokingly but one day pix warns cam not to go to a#Weird late staff meeting#The next night it is literally just the two of them and they think this is so funny they start a blog trying to uncover why everyone else#Just isn’t coming in. At first they are like well layoffs duhhhh#But then ppl send asks and messages like ‘hey have u seen this employee it’s my brother/friend/etc’ and they realize shit is actually going#On in here#One night cam is live-blogging their shift and sees a weird intruder in a costume with a knife and runs around eventually escaping and find#Pix lying at the bottom of a stairwell unconscious with a bloody nose later#Takes pix to the hospital. Only to be alone in the plex the next night and suddenly get a phone call saying that pix left the hospital. Bc#Pix left cam as the emergency contact because ‘she didn’t have anyone else’.#Cam has to survive the masked intruder#eventually starts recording everything but when the intruder gets closer the footage gets glitchier#Eventually there’s just one fuzzy image of the intruder with Roxy and Monty standing on either side and that’s the last we hear of cam. Nex#Post is pix saying hehe thanks for following our little story aha !! Bye now it’s over!! And that’s it…..heheheheh#Killer rab blog has become a little boring for me so… might start this soon….#I’d have to make like 2 blogs plus some fake dms too probably . Damn
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arolesbianism · 2 months ago
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Act 1-2 isat au Aris battle icons are done babey! This was hell to draw!!!
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bunnihearted · 8 months ago
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🧸🧃⛈️
#so like late last night i started to get rlly panicky nd upset#bc it's v much looking like im gnna fail my english class. i need to be done next wednesday which means i need to work rlly hard#nd go to school extra to have a presentation nd do tests etc etc#nd im still in pain after surgery nd im rlly depressed bc of my physical health so i just dont think i can be strong nd make it this time#in my almost breakdown i wrote a self referral to the clinic/psych department for personality disorders....#it usually takes them around 2 days to answer you but this time at like 8am they sent me a message AND called me#(i think. im not certain it's them bc i havent checked the voice message or the reply lmaooo. but it should be them)#the thing abt having avpd is now im immediately stressed af nd i regret sending it. i donr wanna check their reply#also it might be bc i wrote a lot abt killing myseld etc etc nd now im worried theyre gnna be like girlie get checked in!!!! lol T-T#i just needed to be very clear nd act frsutrted nd desperate bc i have never gotten treatment in 10yrs nd im TIRED!!!!#my initial reaction is to avoid at all costs nd just pull my covers above my head nd pretend like i dont have to check their reply lol#i dont wannaaaaaa. i take it back i dont want help!!! its fine i dont wanna try or work hard let me rot#why did i do this!!!!! fml. anyway... i'll check later today bc since its early i can still use the excuse of sleepinf thru the days#many ppl working w mentally ill ppl understand that it's normal actually to switch the day around nd sleep during the days sksksk#but also i have no idea how many typos r in here bc im not wearing my glasses whoopsie#yeah.. anyway im gonna try to go back to sleep nd not think abt it#hopefully it wasnt even them calling 🤡 i know i HAVE to check later but not now i can take a few hours#then today i need to figure out if im gnna make one last attempt w my eng class or give up idk what to do
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mothram · 11 months ago
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youtube
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arionawrites · 8 months ago
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1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!
2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr
3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!
overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!
#aritalks#i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use#not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before#and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk#but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day!#the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow#also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years#(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years#and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk)#was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!!#i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight#so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday#my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work#my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all#over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins)#but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered#(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting#when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so#just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my#mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19)#so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her#and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too#i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure#out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still#dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not#the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one#if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it#but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help#and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks#just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️
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izzy-b-hands · 1 year ago
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Absolutely horrific heart pounding nightmare woke me up for the day. That's. a start to it lmao
#text post#it started out so cool and had like. Jim as a diver? in something v futuristic for some docu that olu was narrating#but it just got. horrible minute by minute#Olu's narration revealed that the earth had been decimated by a war involving multiple nuclear weapons#and somehow things were like. okay enough for some survivors like him and jim to make it? but things were V Fucked lmao#then midway thru jims device/pod thing broke and it felt like i was literally controlling them thru an ocean under the crust of the earth#(no idea what that's abt lmao i think my brain spaced on set dressing this dream a lil bit)#and it was like trying to swim them thru pudding but with so many irradiated and fucked up and ANGRY sea creatures all around#i got them to the surface after floating past a bunch of bodies but they were basically out of air by then so they were gasping hard#and i woke up right then and woke up basically the same way lmao#it's been several minutes now and my heart is still pounding like mad#and im crying a little and can't seem to stop but today i set aside to try and force myself to have a good big cry#i need to find something to watch to make me cry tho so maybe s2 thus far again lol bc certain moments might do it#more likely i need to see what else i have from my past watchlists that are Guaranteed Cry items and try one of those#so i can get over this current thing with the ptsd and get my shit back together even temporarily#duct tape that all back together in the box in my brain until the next random trigger (bc i still dunno exactly what made this one go)#i think it might actually be my brain processing late a lot of Move Feelings re: mum & family bc that's what Housemate#and i talked abt last night a lot but ultimately im ???? as to a for sure trigger#anyway GOOD FUCKING MORNING i guess aksndjffjfj
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ventcode · 2 years ago
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i feel like my only emotions are Upset and Angry or Very Really Gay which isn't true but most people just see those two!!
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melochiris · 2 months ago
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getting to be one of those Times Of Year i gained in the last 2 and it is increasingly clear by the day. ridiculous
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