#[But the last two in that were specific to his work tbh]

[shidoukanae]

Hello to the Buddyfight fandom it's been a hot minute but god do i miss this show and have been making fanart for it in the background so i thought i'd post to tumblr too ^^

I swear every year I end up coming back to this show and wishing that it kept going, that it got rebooted, that i could just erase my memories of this show and just watch it all over again from the beginning to enjoy everything once again from Tasuku's own sense of justice twisting against him to Gao's suffering of PTSD and how heartfelt it was handled.

There's something very special about this show that I haven't been able to find replicated elsewhere. It has the most perfect world to exist (so much so that i'd love to be isekai'd into it if i could!!!) and while i have my own gripes with it (hi S3+) i honestly sometimes wish i could go back to my high school years of watching this show just to relive it all again :'D

Anyways!!! I hope there's still people out there who enjoy this show even ten years later who'll like seeing new funny artwork for it!

I wanna add too that i'm hoping to create a rewrite of FCBF (ft. seasons 1-3 + Ace) or at least create more artwork for my interpretation of it and its world!

Because, sincerely, this show is one of the few that, for all its flaws, hasn't disappointed me in the years that've followed unlike many other things i've seen and i wanna try to keep the spirit of it alive while I can thanks to that. And if there are any fans still in existence who love it, i wanna provide some food while its once again in my orbit because damn do i adore this show <3 <3 <#

[flxtchcr]

𝙵𝙰𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙾𝙽/𝙰𝙿𝙿𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚃𝚂

Bold what applies to your character. Repost, don’t reblog.

𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘

long legs | short legs | average legs | slender thighs | thick thighs | muscular thighs | skinny arms | soft arms | muscular arms | toned stomach | flat stomach | flabby stomach | soft stomach | six-pack | beer belly | lean frame | muscular frame | voluptuous frame | petite frame | lanky frame | short nails | long nails | manicured nails | dirty nails | flat ass | toned ass | bubble butt | thick ass | small waist | thick waist | narrow hips | average hips | wide hips | big feet | average feet | small feet | soft feet | slender feet | callused hands | soft hands | big hands | average hands | small hands | long fingers | short fingers | average fingers | broad shouldered | underweight | average weight | overweight

𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

shorter than 140 cm | 141 cm-150 cm | 151 cm to 160 cm | 161 cm to 170 cm | 171 cm to 180cm | 181 cm to 190 cm | 191 cm to 2 m | taller than 2 m

𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐍

pale | rosy | olive | dark | tanned | blotchy | smooth | acne | dry | greasy | freckled | scarred

𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒

small | large | average | grey | brown | blue | green | gold | hazel | red | doe-eyed | almond | close-set | wide-set | squinty | monolid | heavy eyelids | upturned | downturned

𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑

thin | thick | fine | normal | greasy | dry | soft | shiny | curly | frizzy | wild | unruly | straight | smooth | wavy | floppy | cropped | pixie-cut | shoulder length | back length | waist length | buzz cut | bald | jaw length | mohawk | grey | platinum blonde | golden blonde | dirty blonde | strawberry blonde | blond | ombre | light brown | mouse brown | chestnut brown | golden brown | chocolate brown | dark brown | jet black | ginger | auburn | dyed red | dyed an unnatural color | thin eyebrows | average eyebrows | thick eyebrows

𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐒/𝐏𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒

no tattoos | one tattoo | a few here and there | multiple | full sleeves | thigh tattoo | neck tattoo | chest tattoo | no piercings | ear piercings | nose piercing | lip piercing | tongue piercing | eyebrow piercing | navel piercing | cheek piercing | nipple piercing | genital piercing

𝐂𝐎𝐒𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 .

wears regularly | occasionally wears | never wears | eyeliner | light eyeliner | heavy eyeliner | cat eyes | mascara | fake eyelashes | matte lipstick | regular lipstick | lipgloss | red lips | pink lips | dark lips | bronzer | highlighter | eyeshadow | neutral eyeshadow | smoky eyes | colourful eyeshadow | blush | lipliner | light countouring | heavy contouring | powder | matte foundation | shiny foundation | concealer |

𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓

floral | fruity | earthy | woodsy | musky |  perfumes | aftershave | cocoa | moisturizer | shampoo | scented laundry detergent | cigarettes | leather | sweat | food | incense | marijuana | cologne | whiskey | wine | fried food | blood | fire | metal | ice | sulfur

𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒

jeans | tight pants | over knee socks | tights | leggings | yoga pants | pencil skirt | tight skirt | loose skirt | formfitting dress | cardigans | blouse | button-up shirt | band t - shirt | sweatpants | tank top | wifebeater | cutoff t-shirt | designer | high street | online stores | thrift | lingerie | long skirt | miniskirt | maxidress | sundress | overalls | tie | tuxedo | cocktail dress | highslit dress/skirt | t-shirt | loose clothing | tight clothing | jean shorts | sweater | sweater vest | khaki pants | suit | hoodie | harem pants | leather jacket | leather trousers | basketball shorts | boxers | briefs | thong | hot pants | cargo pants | hipster pants | bra | sports bra | crop top | corset | ballerina skirt | leotard | polka dot | stripes | glitter | silk | lace | leather | velvet | chemise | patterns | florals | neon colours | pastels | black | dark colours | fur | faux fur | gloves | mask

𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐄𝐒

sneakers | high top converse | slip-ons | flats | slippers | sandals | high heels | kitten heels | ankle boots | combat boots | knee-high | platforms | stripper heels | bare feet | loafers | oxfords | gladiator shoes | boots

Tagged by: Once again been digging through my likes

Tagging: Whoever wants to can and should!

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Give me more.

Pairing: neighbor!Frankie Morales x f!reader Words count: 2527 Rating: +18, MDNI

Summary: You're ovulating and can't calm down, just the night before Frankie leaves for a two-day camping trip with the boys for Santi's birthday... luckily Frankie is willing to help you... too much, even.

Tags/Warnings: POV second person, no use of y/n, established relationship, enemies to lovers, smut, fluff, a lot of kissing, female masturbation (on Frankie's leg hehehe), fingering (f receiving), oral (f receiving), overstimulation, aftercare, reader has breasts and vagina, wears a baby doll and a thong, she's able body, she doesn't blush, she has hair but it's not described and she has no other description, brief reader’s thought insert, marked in italics. Pussy pronouns. Pet names (baby, honey, good girl). Frankie is our PEK on a mission 🫡

A/N: This Frankie is the same as You look like a fun place to sit, but it can be read as a stand alone, there are only some mild references to the previous ff. (If you haven't read it yet though, I hope you do 👀♥️) I have a couple more ideas in mind for these two, I hope to have something out for the Christmas holidays at least. Thank you so much for loving these two in the previous story, especially to @harriedandharassed who read it and shared it like 3 times if I'm not mistaken, I'm so flattered and grateful. I hope this one works just as well as the first one. English is not my first language, I have no beta, I hope there aren't too many mistakes, please forgive me if there are. I'm open to any advice you want to give me to improve but please be kind. (you always are, tbh). Comments and reblogs are always welcome, you would make me so happy 🥹 I started a tag list, if you want to be added leave a comment. If you'd prefer to be tagged only on something specific I can definitely do that, just let me know.

Thanks to anyone who reads, I hope you enjoy.

Archive tags: @pedrostories ♥️

“Frankie...” you whisper in the dark.

“Yes?” he answers you in a thick sleepy voice

“Are you asleep?”

“Actually yes.”

“You're answering me, though.”

“Sweetheart...” he picks up his phone from the nightstand ”It's 3:00 a.m. What's wrong?”

“I can't sleep” you groan

“Come here, come on” you shift on his part of the bed and he holds you tightly against his body, you rest your head on his chest and surrender to his comforting embrace and the scent of his skin.

You hum “thank you”

He places a kiss on your forehead “sleep now”

You close your eyes, focusing on the sense of peace you feel wrapped in his strong arms, clasped to his body as warm as a furnace, one leg crossed over his, one arm wrapped around his waist.

It's amazing, really, so amazing that soon you begin to feel something else. a little shiver that runs under your skin, a little electric shock that goes through you all, and then a crescendo of wetness between your thighs.

You’re ovulating and you’re feral, simple as that.

You try not to mind it, to let it pass, not to be too demanding after he has already made you come twice tonight, once on the couch while you were watching a movie - well at least you tried, but you actually have no idea what the movie was about because you were too busy bouncing on his cock, which when you think back on it, it makes you laugh because it seems like a constant in your dating that you can't finish watching a movie without jumping on each other - and once as soon as you got into bed when he saw you coming out of the bathroom in a new babydoll and thong you bought especially for him.

Only two months ago neither of you could stand the other but now, as much as it still bothers you to admit it since he was the last person you thought you would end up with, you are completely and hopelessly smitten with him.

“Frankie,” you whisper, hoping he won't tell you off “can we kiss for a while? Just a little bit?”

It’s so early in the morning that he doesn't have the energy to be sarcastic as usual, he just replies “of course, baby”

He lowers himself on your face and kisses you on the lips, in a very tender but rather chaste way, he still looks half asleep. After a couple of minutes he stops and you sigh, resting your head back on his chest. 

I must let him sleep, you tell yourself. This man is tired, he has already fucked me twice, that should be enough for now. Yet no, it's not enough, you still crave more.

“Frankie.." you mumble on his chest.

“Mmm what is it again?” his voice is even deeper and rougher than usual, which literally sends you into raptures.

"I..." a glimpse of him between your legs as he eats your pussy flashes past your eyes, you squeeze them hard and admit "I want you"

“Still?” he doesn't have an angry tone, nor an irritated one, he's calm, quiet, definitely awake at this point because you feel his hands roam over your back, all the way down to your ass “you insatiable little minx. You know I have to get up in three hours.” 

“I know...but it's not fair, it's Saturday” 

‘You were there when I promised to go camping and fishing with the guys, right?’ You leverage your arms to reach his neck, resting your lips on his soft, amber skin ”mmmm yes” you groan.

He chuckles, as he squeezes your butt cheeks “you know I have to, it's Santi's birthday” 

You continue your run up his neck, slipping your hands under his shirt, caressing his back.

“I’m going to miss you,” you whisper in his ear, burying a hand in his dark curls, your leg tightening around him brushing your barely covered pussy on his leg. Frankie gasps at the sensation, as you begin to grind against his thigh. “It’s only for two days. Jesus, you really are a menace, you know that?” 

“Yeah, you like that about me” You coo.

He puts a hand on your neck, his thumb brushing your ear while his other fingers wrap around the base of your skull. “I sure do. Go ahead, honey, make a mess on me”

You’re grinding hard, the texture of your brand new thong is adding a delicious scratch between your clit and his skin. 

Ridiculous desperate moans escape your lips and he kisses you, letting them vibrate into his mouth. 

He’s wearing only a t-shirt and boxers, which allows you to feel his warm skin, your clit throbbing against him, your dripping pussy heating from the contact.

You feel the tingle of your orgasm mount inside you, your mouth is wide open for him, your tongue feverishly entwined with his in a sweet struggle that leaves you breathless.

And you come, wave after wave, quivering against him, one of his strong arms keeps you in place while his other hand is still wrapped around your neck squeezing lightly on your pulse point.

Your breath is short and ragged, your body hot and tested and yet you feel like it’s not enough.

As soon as your breathing returns to normal you mutter “gosh...I want more” into his slightly sweaty t-shirt.

His voice comes out more high pitched than he would like, he opens his eyes wide and exclaims, "Baby, do you want to wreck even the last bit of me tonight?”

You giggle softly and coo “She’s aching, you know…”

You feel one of his hands kneading one of your ass cheeks and then sliding down to your pussy, massaging your folds from behind, wetting his fingers with your juices.

“Mmm that’s good” you whisper “but I still want more”

Frankie grunts, flipping you onto your back on the bed and getting on top of you. 

His eyes scan you in the dim light of your room, reading the lust on your face. “How much is she aching?” 

You whine, tighten your arms around his neck, trying to pull him closer but Frankie doesn't budge an inch, he's too strong for you.

“Use your words, baby, I know you can.” His gaze is no longer clouded by sleep, it’s alert and authoritative and he pins you down. 

“A lot.” 

“Yeah? Does this wet pussy need me?” he goes down your chest kissing your skin left uncovered by the thin straps of your baby-doll. You moan again, you don't know how to do anything else, your head feels light and confused. 

"Answer me" he says leaving a bite on your shoulder. 

You squirm and a breathy "Yes" comes out of your throat.

You feel his cock swell against your thigh, A trickle of desire runs down between your legs, wetting the thong you're wearing underneath. It’s basically drenched at this point.

“What do you want me to do? Tell me what your naughty pussy needs" 

“Your tongue, your fingers…” you whine “Please, Frankie” 

One thing you learned right away about Frankie is that he really enjoys eating his girl out. 

He's not one of those men who do it just to get a blowjob in return. He's dedicated. He uses his tongue, his lips, his nose even, he compliments how you taste, how pretty your cunt is, how wet and warm she is under his tongue, he doesn't stop until you're left shaking and breathless beneath him, until he coaxed orgasm after orgasm out of you. 

He really is a force of nature and blows your mind every single time. And not only at doing that, he is experienced and passionate in every field.

“Greedy”

He pulls back the duvet and the cool air hardens your nipples as he reaches between your legs, his lustful, tantalizing eyes peering down at you. 

His mouth brushes your inner thigh, slowly moving up from your knee to your groin, his beard tickling you deliciously, “is that what you want huh?” 

“Yes” you murmur ”yes, please.” 

His plump lips settle on your opening, he sticks out his tongue and licks from above the fabric. You moan, sinking a hand into his raven curls, pressing him against your cunt. 

He chuckles against your folds, sending an exquisite vibration through your body, slips his fingers into the elastic of your thong and slowly pulls it down. 

Your cunt throbs in anticipation as his tongue travels up your slit and you emit a deep “Fuck, yes” as soon as his lips latch onto your clit, sucking away the last bit of reasoning you had left. 

“Oh God, Frankie” 

He goes down again and comes back up, tongue flat out sliding over your wetness, once, twice, three, four times as an irrepressible heat spreads inside you again and then the tip of his tongue stops under your clit and he begins to jerk it quickly with close flicks.

His hand is open on your thigh, he slows down a bit when he feels your body tenses, goes back to teasing your opening and then starts tickling your bundle of nerves again.

You tug his hair, spreading your legs even wider to take in all that he wants to give you, melting under his ministration.

“Fuck, you’re so good, don’t stop” you whine and you see him grinning as he replies “I won’t, baby, I’m going to have a damn fucking meal out of this pussy”

His touch is careful, long laps and sucks on your clit, he knows how to alternate them, he seems to know your body and the way it reacts inside out.

Another thing you discovered about him is that he is great at listening and observing and very often guesses your needs and reactions before you express them. He immediately learned how you take your coffee, how you frown when something is bothering you, he knows that you need a particularly tight hug on Monday nights, and that on Friday nights you like to treat yourself to a drink to celebrate getting to the end of another work week.

Frankie is good, really good, you even start to really like quarreling with him, you like the way he stands up to you, the thrill of it and the amazing sex that usually comes right after. 

He brings you almost to the edge with his tongue without taking his eyes off your face, and then you feel two of his fingers nudging at your entrance “you want them huh?” 

“Yes” you breathe, almost on the verge of delirium and he teases “ask nicely baby, I haven’t heard that little magic word yet” 

You would roll your eyes if you were able to do that but right now all you feel is desire, desire to be full again with his fingers, desire to be fucked just like the way you like, desire to be his and only his. 

“Pl-please” you mutter and he whispers “here she is, my good girl” 

His index and middle finger start to stretch you, it seems like he’s taking all the time in the world while you’re trembling and begging to be satiated.

“Almost there pleasepleaseplease”you plead and he sinks a little bit more, up to half fingers, his other hand gripping on the soft skin on your tummy, keeping you in place while your back feels like a guitar’s string ready to snap.  

Your walls are clenching desperately around his fingers, impatient to have all but instead of giving you your long awaited release he comes out completely. 

"Fuck" you hiss. 

His lips are curved into a mocking smirk.

Your clit is swollen, your hole empty and the almost release is tingling all over your body like a latent fire that cannot be extinguished.

“Did you think I would make this easy for you?” He asks ironically.

You scoff “Goddamn,Frankie!” 

You don't know how he finds strength but he's making you pay for be so demanding, your pussy won't stop throbbing as he barely caresses you, feather light touches on your folds, deliberately ignoring your clit. 

You try to breathe deeply to calm down, but as soon as Frankie feels your body relax he returns to licking you, two fingers on your clit moving in circles. 

You're almost on the verge of tears when he brings you back to within an inch of your brink.

“Frankie, please” you cry “I can’t- fuck- I just can’t”

“Oh yes, you can. You wanted more? I’m going to give you exactly this so now shut up and let me do my job” he’s commanding now.

He’s slow and steady over your bundles of nerves and when you impossibly tense again his mouth is back on it, sucking and teasing with his tongue.

When he gives you your second orgasm he doesn't stop stimulating you as it washes over you, your back arches sharply, you’re gushing in his mouth and all over his face, your hand in his hair tugs to try to pull him away from you but he doesn't move, his lips stubbornly latched onto your clit, his hand firmly on your tummy while the other grips your thigh. 

He doesn't stop as you anchor yourself to the edge of the mattress trying to lift yourself up, your body twitching unbearably, he pulls you by your legs and brings you right back to where he wants you without taking his face off you, in fact sinking even more. “Frankie please, please, I can't” you feel tears stinging your eyes. 

You feel so sensitive it’s almost impossible to handle. 

“Ssssh you’re good” he says, detaching from you just long enough to say it, his beard and mustache glistening and soaked in your essence.

You squeeze your eyes, cover your mouth with your hand as you wail so gravelly it almost doesn’t sound your voice anymore. 

You're overstimulated, your body is sore, you murmur a tearful “please” again, and Frankie finally decides you've had enough. He pulls away from you and takes you in his arms as he whispers, “You're okay, honey,” caressing your back. Your labored breathing slowly returns to normal, giving way to a deep, dense feeling of gratification. 

Frankie definitely reached another level of dedication tonight. 

“Is everything okay?” he asks as he lifts your chin, inviting you to look at him. "Yes," you murmur, and he kisses you tenderly, "do you think I've given you enough to deal with my absence for two days?”

You giggle “I think it's enough to endure a week” and ruffle his hair kissing him again, lingering on his lower lip “But let me tell you something, though, someone they call Catfish who goes fishing… it's really odd”

The sound of his thunderous laugh vibrates against you “I hadn't thought about it but I must admit that you are right. Now let me sleep for...I don't even know what time it is anymore” He reaches out an arm to retrieve the phone on the nightstand and realizes that it is already five o'clock.

“Oh, fuck”

tag list: @aurorawritestoescape @baronessvonglitter 🌹

[neuvistar]

AN ANGEL’S GIFT.

— featuring ┊sunday x fem!reader

— warnings / content warnings ┊all consensual! not proofread, cunnilingus, he plays w ur tits lol (t!tplay), established relationship, use of nicknames, mentions of breeding wooopeee (not rlly tbh its jus him yapping abt angel babies) a lil rushed but it’s okay! pt 2 will be out when i’m not lazy :3 | 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

— a/n ┊this might b a bit messy sincd it’s VERY late n i’m half asleep but i’ll correct things tmr! sunday has been on my mind 24/7 all day all night all morning it’s actually insanity.. sunday <33 tbh giys this doesn’t rlly have a specific theme.. it’s jus sunday eating u out n yapping abt giving u angel babies… instead of leaving n doing boring work business LMAO (the pt 2 will have more guys trust i’m jus a tad bit lazy..)

“m—more sunday..”

the two of you spent a cherished night together in the hours before his impending departure to meet and discuss matters with the members of the IPC, catching news of them arriving to penacony a few days prior. in all honesty, you wanted this to last as long as it can.. you missed sunday’s touched, and he missed yours. as sunday caressed and kissed your body, your soft squirms and moans filled him with a pleasant sensation of affection for you. the halovian savored the moment as much as he could, cherishing every last bit of intimacy and closeness between the two of you. “you’ve always impressed me, my angel. it brings me pure joy hearing all sorts of sounds leaving your pretty lips.” soft moans that escaped your lips and the gentle caress of your fingers through his hair stirred up a pleasant sensation within him. even the sight of you wrapped up in his arms, his lips kissing your sensitive skin as your body writhes in pleasure, it made him feel the immense satisfaction and fondness between you two. even that, your presence itself brought sunday immense joy, and he made sure to relish every single moment together with you.

"please... don't stop..." your voice cracked slightly, betraying your own need. a chuckle rumbled from your husband’s throat as he leaned in closer. sunday grabbed hold of the hem of your shirt. with one powerful yank, it ripped clean off your body, revealing your lacy bra underneath. you gasped in surprise, your breasts jiggling slightly as they were exposed to his hungry gaze.. he could feel his cock throbbed even harder, practically leaping out of his pants at the sight of your firm breasts.

"so beautiful, my girl.” trailing his tongue along your collarbone, stopping just short of your neck. sunday’s hands moved downwards, roughly palming your breasts through the thin fabric of your bra.. aeons, they were soft and supple just like be remembered, heavy with anticipation. “it would be such a wonderful sight see these pretty things leak with milk don’t you think, sweetheart?” with a chuckle of desire, he ripped the bra apart as well, freeing your breasts from their restrictive confines. “think about it, my angel,” he pinched your nipples, earning another sharp gasp from you. “imagine.. your belly round and full with my heirs, your breasts heavy with their milk.”

his hot breath fanning over your sensitive nipples caught you by surprise, his talented tongue traced slow, teasing circles around your nipple, closing his lips around it as he sucked greedily. sunday’s tongue flicked and swirled around the sensitive tip, tasting your flesh.. breathing in your aroma, that same aroma that drove him to the edge. “talk to me, baby. what do you say? do you like the idea of that.. hm?” his hands roamed downward, lifting your skirt and pushing your panties aside in one swift motion, exposing your pussy to his hungry gaze.

“hng.. i mean, i’m not against the idea.. it’s just that..” you lost your composure completely when sunday went even lower down to your region, his tongue darted in and out of your folds unexpectedly. “ah.. hey! aren’t you supposed to be meeting with the IPC—“

“shush baby, work can wait.” sunday could feel your arousal building up, your body arched slightly as he continued his brutal attack on your sensitive cunt. his large hands and held your legs wide open, giving him full access to his feast as the wings that protruded from each side of his head tickled your skin. his tongue probed deeper, finding your core and teasing it with quick flicks. you were so vulnerable under him, and it turned him on even more. "i’ll make sure to take good care of you, but remember who's in charge here.. just enjoy my tongue. you should be grateful i’m here giving you attention you wanted for days rather than talking with them.”

your husband’s tongue flickered against your cunt once more, causing you to arch your back slightly. sunday was relentless in his pursuit of your pleasure, determined to make you feel good. "you’re so fucking small, angel.. it’s driving me insane." sunday’s voice was muffled by your flesh, he could feel the adrenaline coursing through your body every time his tongue explored every inch of her. "so innocent, yet so brave... fascinating." feeling your warmth envelop his face was like heaven to him, he wanted nothing more than to show you just how much he loved moments like these. the halovian reached up and grabbed your hips, guiding your movements against his face. goodness.. it was like he wanted you to suffocate him. “a place filled with life and chaos... much like your body." he licked and sucked at your folds, the rough muscle of his wetness swirling around your clit , his nostrils breathing in the scent of your arousal.

“to feel my tongue fucking and sucking this perfect little cunt.. this is truly an angel’s gift is it not, my wife?”

[penkura]

Everybody Knows

Summary: You want to keep it a secret as long as you can, but living on a pirate ship makes that difficult.

Warnings: Pregnancy, mentions of vomiting, slight food aversions, loving husband Sanji (not a warning tbh haha)

Note: Everyone, hi!! I wrote this before I ever finished 'knowing', and I just couldn't help but to share it here now that that's completed! I loved writing this so much, and yes, this is one of the two one-shots that are connected to 'knowing'! I'll post the second next week most likely! This also takes place about four to five years after the end of 'knowing'! I hope you all will enjoy this!!

“Sanji, look, look!! It’s positive!”

“Wait. No way, really?!”

Your smiling and giggling while showing off the positive pregnancy test ended up being contagious, Sanji grinning when he saw it as he wrapped you in a tight hug and spun you just a little. He couldn’t do it too much after all! You’d just found you were likely carrying a precious blessing, he didn’t want to make you dizzy or sick or anything!

It’d been nearly four years since your wedding on the Thousand Sunny after the events in Wano, and just about two years since you decided to start trying for a baby, but now! Now you were pregnant! Finally, after what felt like so much longer than it should have been. You hadn’t told anyone that you two were even thinking about having a baby, you wanted to keep it as secret as possible, and it taking almost two years to even get to the point of a positive test was definitely keeping it secret.

Honestly, when you’d told him you wanted to try having a baby, Sanji was ecstatic and nervous all at the same time. Of course he wanted to be a dad, he’d thought about it for so long, especially once you two married. But, with the life of a pirate, it couldn’t be that safe, could it? Obviously others had done it, Gol D. Roger had kids on his ship, Whitebeard did too, and Big Mom had all her kids (don’t remind him of that though, poor man thought he’d never see you again). The world had become moderately safer, people weren’t as terrified of pirates anymore, specifically your crew with how much you had helped others.

When you did tell him, you had made sure no one else was around and that it was about bedtime for most of the crew. You’d stay in the kitchen with Sanji while he finished off the dishes, telling you what he was thinking about cooking the next day for meals most nights, and that was the perfect time. A few of your crewmates came through to wish you both goodnight. Nami had done so early so she could check the map and log pose, making sure you were heading in the right direction. Zoro had the first night shift and had, like always, just requested someone bring him some sake after a while. Brook had chosen to spend some time playing his violin on the deck, Franky was likely in his workshop you thought. Robin came and said goodnight a bit later, saying she’d be joining Zoro in the crow’s nest for a bit with her latest book. You hadn’t been entirely sure about where Jimbei was at first, then heard him on the deck with Brook. Luffy and Usopp had tried to sneak in with Chopper to get a late night snack, making you giggle softly when you saw them come in the door as quietly as they could, before Sanji threw bread at them and chased them out, shouting “that’s all you get! The kitchen is now closed, goodnight unless you want to work!”

Hearing your giggle made Sanji turn back and smile at you, his lovely wife! He still couldn’t believe you two were married some days, just about two years at this point. Before he even started on the dishes, he stopped and gave you a kiss on the top of your head, saying “Once I’m done with the dishes we can head to bed, okay?”

“Sure!”

You tried to keep your focus on your own book while he worked, but your thoughts kept jumping around. You started one thought and lost it, wondering what it was before it came back, and your face heated up at the thought you’d been having the last few weeks anytime you were alone with your dear husband. Every time you’d try and bring the subject of having a baby up to Sanji, someone would interrupt and you’d back down, nervous they’d hear and it would spread around the ship before you even started trying.

You just wanted to be a mom on top of being a pirate, nothing more to it. And you knew Sanji would be an amazing father. No matter how his biological father was, Sanji would be different, he’d had Zeff as his chosen father, his real father. You knew he would be okay.

When Brook started to play what sounded like a familiar lullaby from the East Blue, it made you smile. You checked around quickly to make sure the coast was clear, before getting up from your spot at the table and walking over to Sanji, giving him a hug from behind that made him greet you.

“Sanji~?”

He hummed a bit while finishing drying another dish, “Yes, darling? What can I do for you?”

Smiling just a bit and burying your face in his shirt, you quietly made your request, “I want us to have a baby.”

It was loud enough for him to hear it, nearly causing Sanji to drop the plate in his hand as he choked a bit on his cigarette. Carefully, he set the plate down before turning around and taking your face in his (still damp) hands, trying to make out if you were joking with him or not. All you did in return was smile softly, nothing but love for him in your eyes. Once he realized your smile was sincere and that’s what you really wanted, he smiled widely and nodded, kissing you all over your face.

“Of course, of course, mon amour!!” he was almost as quiet as you were, he could tell you didn’t want anyone else to hear this precious desire yet, “Absolutely, whatever you want, as many as you want!”

You giggled while he kept kissing your face and you wrapped your arms back around his shoulders. "One would be a good start."

Now, you finally had the positive test you’d been anxiously waiting for. Every other one you’d taken that came up negative frustrated both of you at times, but every time it happened, seeing how upset you were, Sanji would just hug you and say it would happen one day, he just knew it would. You’d just keep trying and praying and hoping until it did.

And finally it did. The second line on the test was faint, but you could see it. You had a positive test!

After you two had calmed down from your excitement, you decided to keep the news secret for the time being. You wanted either Chopper or a doctor at the next island to confirm that your test wasn’t a false positive before you told anyone. The ship was due to land at an island that had a large town on it the next day, so Sanji agreed on taking you to a doctor once you did, under the guise of getting some ingredients to store (of course he did need to do that shopping, but making sure you really were pregnant was top priority). You absolutely trusted Chopper as a doctor, but you knew it was likely word would spread sooner than you wanted it to, so you made the choice to go to a doctor once you docked at the next island instead.

Some of your crewmates picked up on how you two acted through the day, but didn’t think too much of it. You guys were sickeningly sweet to each other most of the time anyway, it was gross how lovey-dovey you were (to Zoro anyway). A few times you’d be doing your chores, and someone, namely Robin or Nami, would catch how Sanji, who had been handing drinks and snacks to those who wanted them, would catch you out of the corner of his eye, before quietly watching you for a moment, deciding to go over and offering to take your work off your hands. You just smiled and said he could help if he was that bored and he looked like he wanted to say something, but instead gave a smile and a nod, helping you finish your chores a little faster.

Nami noticed first how weird Sanji was acting towards you. Normally he'd be his regular self, providing her and Robin with drinks and snacks in his normal way, before going over the top to do the same for you. It made sense since you were his wife, but that day he seemed…off? Almost like something had happened to calm him down. His normal acts of treating them like queens were a bit more subdued, and then with you, the one he almost treated like a goddess, he seemed like he'd been hit with a tranquilizer that made him more gentle, soft. It was very odd.

“Hmmm, Robin? Do you think those two are being…weird?”

Robin looked up from her book just enough to see Nami watching you two again; you were playing a card game with Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper, while Sanji stayed nearby just watching. This was the most they'd seen him out of the kitchen in a while, it definitely was odd.

“Sanji is being a bit more protective of her today.”

“Is [Y/N] sick or something?”

“She seems normal to me. Maybe she’s pregnant.”

Nami laughed a little louder than she intended, but it didn’t gain yours or Sanji’s attention. It did gain Luffy's, who looked over wondering what Nami was laughing about before returning his attention to your card game.

“That’d be something.”

Neither girl dared to ask you about it that day, just in case they were incorrect and said something that could be considered offensive. They didn’t even know if you two wanted to have kids in the first place, maybe you just didn’t feel well and Sanji was just being the overprotective husband to his sick wife. The last time you'd been sick he barely left your side and got some help with the cooking so he could take care of you.

When it was dinner time, you were very careful to not let anyone notice how the smell of the fish you were having was making you nauseous. When Luffy asked why you weren't having any, you made the excuse of not feeling very well, deciding to forgo the fish to keep from making yourself sick. It wasn't technically a lie, you just made it sound convincing enough that no one questioned you further.

A silly argument broke out about who would get your share since you weren't eating the fish, and it made you laugh along with Nami. Luffy and Brook both wanted it, Usopp said it should be left for the next day because maybe you'd feel up to eating it then, while Chopper tried to ask you what was wrong and you just told him your stomach was a bit upset, he said he'd give you something to help if you wanted.

You really did impress Sanji with how well you were keeping your little secret. If it weren't for your restraint, he'd have told everyone by now, he was sure of it. It was taking everything in him not to pick up a transponder snail and call Zeff to let him know the good news. He knew you'd let him as soon as it was really, truly confirmed, he was just so anxious to tell someone.

Everyone cleared out after dinner minus you and Robin, she decided to stay behind and help with clearing the table, something you normally did to spend some extra time with your husband that he greatly appreciated.

However, this time, Sanji kept trying to make you stop helping.

"[Y/N], please, sit down! Robin and I will take care of the table." Sanji really, really wanted you to sit down and take it easy. If you were pregnant, you needed rest! You might be growing a whole new person inside you! You'd need all the energy you could have over the next few months!

"Sanji, it's ok! I can help."

"[Y/N]," Robin gave you a smile as she looked between you and Sanji, "if you aren't feeling well, I don't mind helping tonight. You should go let Chopper check you though, just to be certain it's not something to be worried about."

You bit the inside of your lip, wanting to tell Robin why Sanji was being so much more protective over you, but you weren't sure if you should. You viewed her like an older sister, and knew that if you did tell her, she'd keep your secret. Robin would take any secret you told her to the grave. Instead, you looked at Sanji with a slightly pleading look that caused him to just know what you were thinking. Sanji gave you a smile and nodded, which made you smile in return.

"Robin, the only reason Sanji is like this right now is because we got a positive pregnancy test this morning."

Honestly, Robin was joking earlier when she made that suggestion to Nami, but hearing you confirm her silly thought actually made her smile even more at you.

"Really? That's wonderful!"

Nodding, you started to almost beg for her silence on the matter.

"We don't want anyone else to know yet, so I haven't gone to Chopper for real confirmation. We're going to go find a doctor on the next island tomorrow to get a blood test done."

"That's a very good idea, to make absolutely sure your test was positive."

Sanji nodded, setting a hand on your shoulder. "So…could you keep it a secret please? Just until we have it confirmed."

"Of course. Your secret is safe with me."

Robin then joined Sanji even more in telling you to sit and relax, to the point you decided to head to bed with a laugh when Sanji said he didn't mean you had to leave. All you did was kiss him and say you'd see him when he finally came to bed himself.

You took a quick shower, before changing into your pajamas and choosing to lay in bed, hair still a bit wet but you didn't care. You wanted to see that positive pregnancy test again. It still felt surreal to you that it might be happening. You might become a mother in a few months.

The two faint, pink lines were still there, you hadn't been dreaming all day.

Gosh I hope it's not a false positive…

Eventually Sanji did come to bed with you, after his own shower and with his hair still damp too. You barely even moved when he laid down next to you, setting his hand on your stomach while you kept staring at the test.

"It's so weird."

"Hmm?"

"To think that we might be having a baby. It feels weird, doesn't it?"

He nodded a bit, while you finally laid the test back down on your nightstand and turned to face your dearly loved husband with a smile.

"You might get to be a dad soon."

"And you might get to be a mom soon."

Your giggle never failed to make him smile, even more than he already was. Sanji wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you close to him, hugging you and burying his face in your hair.

"I love you…no matter what we find out next, I love you so much."

You returned his hug and sighed happily, content with where you were now. You really hoped and prayed your test was accurate, that soon you'd be parents, you'd have a baby of your own to care for and love as well.

"I love you too, Sanji."

All would be well.

+!+

"All right everyone, I have your allowances for today!"

The normal culprits of bad spending habits cheered or thanked Nami, while you gladly took your decent sum and pocketed it immediately. Of course you wanted to look for some clothes, but you had no idea how much a doctor would charge you for a test, so you hoped the allowance Nami gave to you would be enough for both.

Usually you'd join in on drawing straws to see who stayed on the ship to guard it, but before you even could take one from Usopp, Sanji took your hand and told everyone you had decided you were going with him to get groceries this time. Not a single one of your crewmates questioned it, the rest of them drawing straws and Zoro and Jimbei being the lucky ones to stay on the Sunny. Once everything was settled, the rest of you left the ship and broke off in different directions. You stopped a local and quietly asked her where a doctor or women's clinic was, and she was kind enough to lead you and Sanji there.

After the kind older woman left you, the two of you didn't go inside yet. Your nerves had picked up and Sanji could tell. He felt the same way, you both had the same thought running through heads.

What if it was a false positive? What if all your hopes you'd had over the last 24 hours were about to be dashed and you weren't really going to have a baby?

Despite all the fears and worries, Sanji held your hand just a bit tighter and it brought you out of your thoughts and you looked at him.

"Do you want me to go in with you?"

You thought for a second, then shook your head. "It's ok, I can go. You need to go grocery shopping so we're back on the ship at the meeting time."

Although he really did want to go with you, Sanji nodded and gave you a tight hug, kissing your forehead. "No matter what they say, I love you. You know that right?"

"Of course I do!" You laughed a bit, leaning up to give your sweet husband a kiss. "I love you too, and I know it's all gonna be okay. Meet you here in about an hour?"

Sanji nodded, letting you go but letting his fingers linger on yours as you turned and walked into the clinic. He stayed for a few minutes, before turning to go find the shopping district and get his grocery shopping done by the hour time was up, saying silent prayers that the news you brought back would be good.

+!+

The hour you had agreed on had passed, Sanji was waiting for you outside the clinic nervously. He'd honestly expected you to be outside and waiting for him already, but maybe something was wrong? Did something happen that was keeping you there longer than you expected? He prayed it wasn't something along the lines of you getting your pregnancy confirmed but being told you'd lost the baby already. That would devastate both of you after the time you'd had even just trying to get pregnant.

No, no, don't even think that. Everything is fine.

Every time someone exited the clinic and it wasn't you, Sanji got even more anxious, wishing you'd finally step out. He'd nearly gone through another two cigarettes while waiting, knowing you'd be upset with him over it but he couldn't help it. The nicotine was at least calming his nerves somewhat.

I'll have to apologize to [Y/N] later.

Finally, after another almost twenty minutes, you left the clinic and his nerves calmed a bit more but his heart started racing, wondering what you were going to tell him. You hadn't even looked up from whatever papers you had been given, you were still reading them it looked like. But once you did and saw Sanji was waiting for you, you gave him the brightest smile he thought he'd ever seen from you, even brighter than the one you had when you two got married.

"Sanji!" You ran to him and threw your arms around him, causing him to do the same. He tried to ask you what the doctor said but the words wouldn't come out, but once you pulled back from your hug, you didn't stop smiling. "It was right! We're having a baby!"

Actually hearing you confirm that your pregnancy test was positive made Sanji unbelievably happy. Even though he could feel tears starting, he smiled at you, hugging you again even tighter than before, picking you up and spinning you a bit, and telling you how happy he was. He set you back down and released you from the hug, kissing your face and thanking you for this blessing while you laughed a bit. He didn't need to thank you, not even a little bit. It was your choice and you were glad to be having a baby with him.

After one more kiss, he ended up pulling away from you with a grin, throwing his arms in the air with tears in his eyes.

"I'm gonna be a dad!!!"

+!+

Usopp and Nami were the ones to find out next. The two had been wandering the town when they came up near the clinic Sanji had dropped you off at, not thinking much about it at the time. You had a doctor on the ship, Chopper was the best one possible!

…so why was Sanji standing outside this clinic like he was waiting for something?

"What's he doing?"

"Why would I know that?"

The two were obviously confused. Had you gone inside? Were you that sick? Why didn't you tell Chopper or anyone else?? You could have stayed on the ship instead of letting Sanji drag you to town! Granted yes, he was your husband and you didn't seem to mind at all, but still. If you weren't well, you could have stayed behind and rested instead of running through the town in the few hours Nami had given you all to explore. She had just learned it would take two days for the log to reset, so you had plenty of time to explore! Honestly, sometimes Nami thought Sanji of all people could be a touch more considerate when you said you weren't feeling well.

"[Y/N] did say she had an upset stomach last night," Usopp remembered while watching Sanji light a second cigarette, "maybe they didn't want to bother Chopper and brought her here?"

"Oh come on, they have to be hiding something." Nami was trying to think what could be so important that you two would come to a random clinic on this island instead of just going to Chopper, just as you stepped out and ran to hug Sanji. The two of you were full of smiles and excitement, making her tilt her head. "What's going on?" Nami was trying so hard to hear, she was about to just discreetly walk by and eavesdrop.

"I don't know, I can't hear them." Usopp leaned in a little more, still trying to stay hidden.

The two didn't need to wait any longer to know what you two were saying, as Sanji's outburst of shouting that he was going to be a dad told them everything and Nami gasped while Usopp's jaw dropped almost to the ground.

"She's pregnant!!"

"Did…did they plan that?!"

"Who cares, Usopp! There's gonna be a baby on the ship soon!"

The two were conflicted on if they should confront you now or wait until you told everyone, while they were deciding you and Sanji had started walking back towards the farmer's market to finish the grocery shopping, neither Nami or Usopp noticing until she went to shout for the two of you.

"They're gone! Dang it!"

"Well…I bet they'll tell us later, Nami."

"If they don't," Nami's berri eyes didn't get past Usopp, "I can try offering them some baby funds, at an interest."

"Nothing gets by you."

+!+

Getting back to the ship, you helped Sanji put away all the groceries (despite him telling, begging you to rest), before putting away the very few clothes you ended up purchasing. After paying for your appointment and the prenatal vitamins they gave you, your allowance was about half gone, but you were able to find a few cute clothes you could wear now and some pieces to put away for later on. It was a bit difficult for you to find some maternity clothing items, but you did find some cute pieces! Even more difficult was keeping those pieces hidden when you were showing the other items to Nami, Robin, and Chopper. You made the excuse that they were more intimate items which flew over Chopper's head but made Nami pull a face while Robin laughed a bit.

Nami did keep pestering you about what you did and how you spent all your money this time, but it wasn't that weird to you, she normally asked if anyone had anything left from what she gave them, and if they wanted her to put it away for the next island stop. You almost, almost told her, but just claimed your clothes were more expensive than expected.

Robin was the only person who you pulled aside and confirmed you were pregnant to. She gave you a hug and congratulated you properly, sitting with you in the room you shared with Sanji to get a little more information from you.

You'd told her that yes, this was planned, about two years later than you had originally hoped. You were nine weeks along, and intending to keep it a secret from everyone else until your first trimester was over just to be safe. The doctor you saw had said everything looked good so far, and it gave you immense relief to hear that.

Your plan was to stay on the ship the next day and tell Chopper so he could start to prepare for whatever he'd need to do to help you through your pregnancy and delivery, but you wanted to wait and tell everyone else once you passed the twelve week mark. Robin said she'd absolutely help as well, she even gave you a few books on pregnancy that you and Sanji could read through.

The rest of the day, Nami and Usopp wondered if you or Sanji were going to say anything about your having a baby. Not one word slipped from either of you, and it was starting to frustrate both of them. At dinner you were able to eat, Sanji quickly catching on that fish was making you nauseous, so he ended up making some meat instead which greatly pleased your captain.

"Sanji!! Seconds!" Luffy whined a bit and Sanji told him to hold on while he got a bit more ready, making Luffy lean over on you, "[Y/N]~~~ can I have some of yours??"

"No, Luffy!" Sanji looked over his shoulder and set a small glare on him, "[Y/N] needs her dinner!"

"But she always shares it with me~!"

"She can't right now!"

"Why not???"

"Because she–"

"--I'm starving after being sick yesterday!"

You nodded, eyes slightly wide as you realized Sanji was that close to revealing your pregnancy earlier than planned. He covered his mouth when you shouted over the two, turning back to the stove and cursing at himself.

Almost blew it, holy crap.

"But I want meeeeeaaaaat."

"You can have some vegetables, Luffy."

Luffy made a face and decided it wasn't worth it, he'd wait for more meat to be cooked. Franky was willing to share with him though, which made your captain happy at least. Once you had finished eating, you took your plate to the sink and stopped to give Sanji a hug, he whispered sorry to you, but you just shook your head, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

“No worries, my dear.”

“Yohohoho, you two are so loving even with a baby on the way!”

Everything went silent. Your crewmates all stopped eating, the sound of silverware on plates was quieted as they stopped to stare at you with widened eyes, and both you and Sanji went completely stiff, you started feeling ill.

How the hell did Brook know?! You hadn’t told anyone apart from Robin, and were fairly certain Sanji didn’t tell anyone after you left him alone earlier to start on dinner. Nami had been a little persistent with you, asking you a lot of questions earlier but you didn’t tell her anything, and you didn’t know at the time that Zoro had even questioned Sanji about why he wasn’t smoking as much. Usopp knew Sanji was close to shouting at Luffy that you were pregnant, and now Chopper realized you feeling nauseous last night made more sense. Robin smiled a bit since she already knew, and Franky hadn’t thought to question anything yesterday or today, honestly thinking you were sick and Sanji was just trying to quit smoking. Jimbei had noticed you feeling sick earlier than anyone, but assumed you’d just caught something since you all were constantly out at sea and stopping at various islands, you could have picked up any kind of illness.

Luffy never questioned a thing, but hearing Brook’s statement made him break into a large grin.

“You guys are having a baby?!”

Your nausea was back, and Sanji could see it in how pale your face was becoming as you, back still turned to the table, tried to figure out whether to confirm, deny, or start asking how Brook knew.

“I…” You felt worse while trying to decide what to say, covering your mouth with your hand.

“[Y/N]? Are you–”

“I’m gonna be sick.”

You pulled away from Sanji and ran out of the kitchen with your hand still over your mouth, making several of your crewmates yell for you, while Robin had run after you. Sanji almost ran after you as well, before realizing he needed an answer from a certain musician first. He set a glare on Brook that made him shudder.

“You. Who the hell told you that?!”

Brook continued to shudder while everyone else couldn’t believe the glare Sanji was giving him.

“T-t-the test was still in the bathroom trash this morning! I-i-it was only n-natural for me to assume!”

“Damn it,” Sanji pulled at his bangs, cursing himself for not suggesting you threw that in the kitchen trash or hid it under your bed until you were ready to tell people, and really wishing he could light a cigarette right then, “Fine, all right?! We’re having a baby! She’s nine weeks and we were gonna tell you all once she was past the first trimester, but guess everyone knows now!”

“Sanji–”

“You guys take care of putting the food away and the dishes, I’m going to go comfort my pregnant wife!”

Sanji threw down his apron and ran out of the kitchen after you and Robin, causing Nami to shout for him, but she didn’t follow him.

Everyone that was left, was completely silent, all mulling over the news that you and Sanji were going to be parents soon.

“S-so,” Brook was still a little shaky after seeing how angry Sanji was, “uh, did anyone else know?”

Nami and Usopp raised their hands, heads down. They only found out by mistake, but both felt awful at your precious secret basically being revealed against your will.  Surprising everyone though was Zoro who nodded.

“Wait, how did you know Zoro??”

“He told me earlier.”

“He what?!”

Rolling his eye a bit, Zoro nodded again while taking a drink of his sake. “I mentioned that he hadn’t been smoking and he ended up telling me. I didn’t want all that information dumped on me but he seemed like he was anxious to tell someone. I just happened to be the first person he talked to.”

That made more sense than Sanji just deciding Zoro would be the first person he told. It became quiet again, Luffy was thinking and pressing his index finger to his forehead before he finally said something.

“So…why did Sanji say they were waiting?”

“Well,” Chopper spoke up, a little shell shocked that he was going to have to take care of a pregnant woman on the ship, but a bit excited about it, “A lot of couples wait until after twelve weeks because the chance of miscarriage is higher before then. It’s never really zero, but waiting until after the first trimester is common practice, by then they’re more confident that the baby will make it.”

“Oh, I see!” Luffy started laughing after that, a grin on his face that seemed to start spreading to his crewmates as the information sunk in. “They’re gonna be awesome parents! I bet it’s a boy!”

“Oh no,” Nami shook her head with a small glare, “It’s got to be a girl, we need more girls on this ship!”

“I can make some SUPER toys for them!”

“I’ll make sure the baby and [Y/N] are both healthy!”

“Would playing lullabies for the child make up for this?”

“Imagine if the cook’s kid wants to be a swordsman.”

“I have some great stories of bravery and adventure to tell them!”

“I’m sure they’ll be great no matter what the child is or what they decide to do in the future.”

The other eight members of your crew continued discussing their own ideas of what your child would be like, working to clean up dinner, when Nami stopped and bit her lip.

“What’s wrong, Nami?” Luffy tilted his head at her as she stopped gathering the plates.

“I feel bad that she got sick because of this. We all made [Y/N] so nervous after Brook said they were having a baby. I hope she’s not too upset.”

“Even if she is,” Zoro had started to leave, but stopped to listen to Nami’s concerns, “the cook will take care of it. He’s her husband after all.”

+!+

“Can I get you some water, [Y/N]?”

“Thank you, Robin, but I’m fine at the moment.” You sighed a bit and leaned against your pillows, Robin nodding as she sat beside you on your bed. You’d completely lost your dinner after you ran off, Robin staying with you to keep your hair back and help you get back to your room until Sanji got there.

He almost burst into your shared room a few minutes later, running over and hugging you close.

“Are you all right, mon amour??”

Nodding, you just hugged him back. “I’m okay. I’m…upset, but otherwise just fine.”

"Rightfully so," Sanji nodded, stroking your hair a bit, "We've barely had time to process this and it's already out."

"How did–"

"The test was still in the bathroom trash can."

Hearing that, you realized it was your fault in the end, for not being more careful about how you disposed of the test. Whining a bit you leaned against Sanji again. "I'm an idiot. I didn't even think about someone seeing it there…"

"Hey, you're not an idiot. Anyone else would have done the same thing," Sanji leaned down just enough to kiss your forehead which made Robin smile before she took her leave, knowing he would make things right, "it didn't even cross my mind that we should've put it somewhere else."

"I should've tossed it overboard."

"I don't think any of the fish want something that's been peed on, love."

That made you burst out laughing, so hard you almost felt like you were going to be sick again but you knew you weren't. Seeing you smile and laugh made Sanji smile as well, as he crawled into bed by you and pulled you back into his arms. He was glad to see you smiling and laughing after the disaster that had been dinner. You deserved to be happy about having a baby, not stressed because it got out earlier than you had planned.

Once you calmed down, you laid there and stared at the ceiling for a bit, Sanji still holding you and rubbing your arm to help comfort you as you thought.

"I'm not that mad at Brook for bringing it up."

"I'm pissed at him."

"Sanji."

"It wasn't his secret to tell."

You sighed with a nod, turning to be face to face with your equally as upset husband, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. "I know…but now I don't feel like I have to agonize over how to tell everyone."

"I…suppose that's true…"

Thinking about the reactions you got from your crewmates, you smiled a little.

"Luffy sounded happy."

"He did, didn't he?"

"He probably thinks this means new crewmate, instead of what is essentially his niece or nephew."

Sanji laughed, nodding. "That's exactly what he thinks, I'm sure of it."

The two of you spent what felt like hours just talking about your day, the insanity of it all. Finding out you really were pregnant, that secret getting out during dinner and making your morning/evening sickness come back, and the likely reactions of your crewmates. You talked until you started dozing off, Sanji quieting his voice when he noticed you were falling asleep. Once you were asleep, he stayed at your side a few minutes longer, before deciding he needed a shower and to check the kitchen before bed.

Before he got up and left, Sanji tucked you in a bit, kissing your forehead with his hand resting on your stomach lightly.

"Sleep well. I love you both so much."

+!+

Breakfast the next morning was weirdly quiet. You'd helped Sanji get everything ready, once again despite him telling you to sit down and relax, to rest since you know, you were growing a whole new person in your womb, you needed as much energy as possible. You just ignored him, smiling and setting the table quickly as everyone else started to file in. Brook had found you earlier in the morning and apologized for the night before, which you accepted with a bright smile, telling him everything was fine.

Sanji still was angry but couldn't find it in him to glare at the skeleton anymore. If you were willing to forgive, Sanji would find a way to do that himself.

During breakfast, Luffy stood up with his drink in hand, making everyone look at him while he grinned. He wanted to toast something obviously, and everyone else raised their drinks to his.

"To Sanji and [Y/N]'s baby! Our future crewmate and niece or nephew! Hopefully nephew though!"

Everyone else laughed and shouted cheers, taking a drink, while you were fighting back tears. You hadn't fully expected all of them to be so accepting of the idea of a baby on board, but what else did you expect?

This ragtag group was your family now, your baby would have no shortage of protectors or joy in their life.

Sanji, the ever attentive husband he was, smiled just a bit seeing the happy tears in your eyes. He leaned over with a kiss to your temple, whispering "It's ok to cry if you're happy."

And you did, just a bit. You thanked Luffy, thanked everyone for being so wonderful and accepting of your baby, who hadn't even been born yet. Most of your crew responded in kind, telling you their thoughts of how they could help when the baby was born, offering to decorate a nursery, asking if you want a boy or girl. Everything they could think of that would help you and Sanji to settle into your roles of mom and dad in a few months. They offered to split up your chores among them, something you asked them not to do until later into your pregnancy. You still wanted some semblance of a routine before you gave birth and had to devote all your time to a tiny human.

Eventually, breakfast had its own little squabble as Luffy snatched the last piece of bacon when Usopp and Franky were reaching for it, a small brawl breaking out. It made Sanji yell for them to be careful around you, leading Franky and Usopp to drag Luffy to the deck to continue their little spat.

You laughed, leaning back in your chair and giving Sanji a smile.

"I love our weird family."

"Hmmm, so do I, mon amour."

All would be well, when you had your baby in a few short months. They would be welcomed with a flurry of love and adoration, not just from you and Sanji, but from everyone else as well.

Can't wait to meet you, little angel.

[l3monlem0n]

Some Murder Drones Episode 7 screenshots I thought were interesting and my thoughts on them :>

SPOILER WARNING!!!! is spoilering

Nori, despite being a middle aged woman with a child, appears to be an Otaku or otherwise likes "edgy" and "scene" stuff, as well as listening to nightcore, very much like her daughter. Good for her tbh you're never too old to have fun

She also has a photo of Khan and what I can only assume is baby Uzi, though it appears to have blue eyes, but maybe it's just the lighting. Still very cute she has a pic of her husband

As well as all the previously mentioned Otaku stuff, she also drew herself as an anime character. She has a skinsona. Phenomenal (pos)

Nothing much here, just Uzi coughing up blood. Girl got the goop (gore) inside of her already

Lab Space. Apparently the Church was just down there and not even the humans know why. The canonicity of this is questionable; it could just be a joke

OT, as per google, stands for "Occupational Therapy". Makes sense for the context, and makes the bottom text funnier

"Fun Time To Universe Big Crunch: 87". The Big Crunch is a hypothetical way the Universe could end, where the universe folds on itself and shrinks into a single point. 87 "what" I don't know. If it's months, that 7 years and 3 months

Honestly the Murder Drones lore is super confusing. I think what this is trying to say is that every other Zombie Drone is doing poorly, (Except for Yeva), they are trying to reactivate 002 (Nori) via the USB. I'm not sure what this means. Maybe they only got the results they wanted from the two of them, and are trying again with Nori since she was the only other one that worked (also why they got Yeva when she failed; this may all be referring to how the episode opened up) Also, the date says SER. As revealed in the episode Cabin Fever, Copper-9 has months that Earth does not. SER most likely stands for Seramorris, the month revealed in that episode

Looks like the "bad event" wasn't the first one. Certainly was the last one though lol

Just a good pic of ghost/hologram V with the scary stuff. Might use this as a wallpaper

You can literally see the hole in his neck where N bit him in...

...And it's to the point his HEAD FALLS OFF. (including because I didn't notice the first time around)

Yup, the idea that Uzi became the Admin for N and V is completely true. I wonder what would've happened if she didn't, since Cyn didn't react whatsoever

friggin bug (very pos)

You would not believe how difficult it was to get a good pic of this (I'm using snipping tool lmao). Always a pleasure to see Uzi's doodles. Things her gun can do (upper right):

NOT judge her

Forced prom date (?)

Allows her to say she had friends before she frickin murdered them with sci-fi machinery

The cut off text at the bottom: Plan B: Normal gun + Shoot really fast

This is while Tessa is looking for something in the lockers. Claws, chains, magnets, Wings, and scribbled "HELP". Looks like the lockers were all specifically to hold the infected worker drones. Oof

We are in the future now baby. We have rererererereCAPTCHA. Funnily enough, it still couldn't stop a robot

There is a message board where someone who doesn't like robots is talking. They also are scared. Also no one else is using this system, which is unsurprising. "Ur aight ;)" Wait is the winky face intentional foreshadowing? Or unintentional?

We get the names of a bunch of other Worker Drones. Unfortunately for all 029 fans, her name was not visible. (also can someone tell me what "JWEB" could be short for?) And Yeva is said to have a patch. That may be the crucible thing idk

Cyn (which I will be calling this version Skyn [Skin + Cyn]) apparently took of the space suit just to give Doll the Withered Foxy jumpscare. Honestly really terrifying. If this photo was teased before release I think the fandom would've exploded

Just N being a good boy :3

The MDs, Cyn's pets. Nori refers to them as "Nerfed" so the "Entity" can ensure control, and says they were made to destroy other hosts. I don't know why Cyn would want them dead, but I'm not the loremaster here. YouTube line is there because I couldn't be bothered after the Railgun image

Probably already confirmed, but doubly confirmed that a symptom of the Solver is giving Drones organic insides. A Worker Drone body with a rib cage and guts. I wonder what would happen if the infection continued uninterrupted (also R.I.P. Doll I loved you :frown:)

I'm sure everyone noticed, but when Uzi tried to manipulate Tessa, the ERROR noticed appeared. Already hinting Tessa is not all she says she is

Apparently the Solver can create Black Hole Saws. Interesting development (Blackhole Blitz)

I know most people (I think) see this as a joke and N just being a bit of goofball. But honestly, I think he did it intentionally to shock Cynuzi and give Nori a chance. In the Pilot, he licked V's sword to surprise her too, which means he isn't unfamiliar with doing something weird and surprising for the advantage

Skyn eating Doll's core. R.I.P. Doll again. Seriously, was that Doll in Core Form like Nori was? Or was Nori a fringe case because she was "Exorcised" and this is just a regular core? Questions, questions. Also yeah the Solver also gives you a Core. Fun

This tag makes me think that this body is Cyn's actual body. Not longer a hologram, but her actual body from the mansion. The reason Tessa gave N, J, and V their names was because that was the first letter of their Serial Designation (she's very uncreative). However, Cyn's tag was slightly faded, which meant her SD couldn't be seen, so Tessa gave her the name "Cyn" after her P/N, even though the other 3 already have the same P/N as Cyn (Tessa, again, is very uncreative)...

...and for some reason, Cyn or the Solver, which ever theory you subscribe to, decided to wear Tessa as a skin suit for some twisted reason. It did help her with the Captcha. Also scary because this doesn't have the right proportions for an adult (unless Cyn really forced that skin on), which leads me to believe that this is a Younger Tessa, and she faked having an older voice. Maybe I shouldn't call her my wife... I'm sure Eldritch J is still available :^)

(Seriously, the eyes are burnt out, leaving two eye holes over the visor, so she gives herself two X eyes so it looks better. Also yeah we found out what that thing on the "It Came From Copper-9" poster came from. It really was Cyn or Skyn)

Just a frame of the final...frame... for coolness. I'm probably also going to use this for a background. Also, this is definitely Copper-9. You can see the ring and ringless moon together on the right. Uzi somehow got sent to orbit after falling in the meat hole

Well that was all for now. This series has consumed me entirely, body and soul, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Goodbye and goodnight

[themultifanshipper]

Heyy sooo I was thinking “I love you but right now I just need you to bend over and take it” with George and reader! Maybe George has a breeding kink and after seeing her with his family kids over the holiday he really wants to get her pregnant?? Maybe boat sex since they were all on a boat?? 😅

This was the last straw for George. Seeing you interact with his nieces and nephews during family gatherings was bad enough, but the way you were now taking care of them during summer vacation as if they were your own was igniting a perverse hunger within George, and he was determined to do something about it.

Warnings: Smut, panty gag, boat sex, specifically yacht sex, semi-public sex?, idk if benjy has a son, oc if not, dirty talk, breeding kink, george just being feral tbh, no prep, bad etiquette, but no pain bc this is fiction. Perhaps an intervention is in order? Idk

Requested from my prompt list

It came to a head when you were cooking on the yacht for his nephew.

That day it was just you, George, his brother Benjy, and benjy's son. The rest of the family had decided to stay firmly on land for the day.

The little guy was hungry and you had volunteered to make a plate of his favorite pasta, leaving him up on the deck with his father.

George was sat behind you watching you work, whipping up a quick sauce and waiting for the water to boil.

It drove George nuts how attentive you were to his family members’ needs and how well you had integrated into the family.

And seeing you look after kids was the cherry on top, and made him think more and more about starting a family of his own.

The two of you had agreed though, no kids as long as George was an f1 driver. You didn't want to put that kind of strain on your family, and if something were to happen to him you didn't want your kid growing up without a father.

But the two of you had needs, and condoms were a bit of a hassle when you have sex as much as you two did, so you got an implant. In theory it was impossible to get you pregnant.

That wasn't going to stop George from giving it a bloody good go, though.

“How long is the pasta supposed to take?” he asked as you poured it in to the boiling water.

“About six minutes?” you replied “why?”

You hadn't noticed him set an alarm, then sneak up behind you until his hands were wrapped around your waist and he lifted you up and away from the stove.

“Good, plenty of time for me to fill you up” he growled into your ear as you squealed and writhed in his hold.

“George-!”

He pushed you down onto the table and made quick work of your shorts and underwear, dragging them down you legs and stuffing your panties in you mouth. “I love you but right now I just need you to bend over and take it”

You tried to protest through the cotton but it was no use, he grabbed your wrists and held them behind your back.

“Can't have the kid hearing what we're doing down here. What kind of parents would that make us?”

You moaned as he slid his tip over your quickly dampening folds. “Don't have time to prep you, baby. Think you can take me just like this?”

You shuddered and moaned through the fabric and he chuckled.

“Of course you can take me. You can take everything I give you because you're such a good girl, aren't you?”

George’s praise never failed to make you melt, and your body slumped over the table so that your legs wouldn’t have to take any weight.

He held you down as he slid inside you slowly, your back arching against his hold.

To say he was gentle would have been a lie. He was rough and demanding, but passionate, as he plastered himself over your back and bullied his cock deep into your tight heat.

“Going to come inside you, baby. Gonna fill you up until your dripping and begging me to stop.” He rasped in your ear as his hips sped up and his breathing got heavier. “God you have no idea how fucking feral it makes me seeing you with kids. Makes me want to breed you, force you to make me one of my own.”

Your walls fluttered around him and he chuckled darkly in your ear.

“You like that, darling? You want to be so full of me it makes you a mother?”

You gasped and nodded, and tried in vain to tell him you were close through the gag, but you didn't need to. George knew your body like the back of his hand and he could already feel you clenching rhythmically around him.

“Go on baby, come for me. Milk my cock, there you go. My perfect little cumslut”

You could feel your toes curl as the feeling of bliss took over your body and you pulled George over the edge with you, his hips slamming into you, trying to get his seed as deep as he could.

Just then the alarm rang on his phone for the pasta that was now ready.

“Perfect timing” George laughed as he pulled out and took your spit soaked panties out of your mouth to let you get on with the food.

“Indeed, can I have my underwear back please?” you asked, picking up your shorts and putting your hand out.

“Oh no, I'm not done with you yet, sweetheart” George just pocketed them, despite your protests, and smirked at you.

“Your implant is effective like 99% of the time, right?”

You narrowed your eyes at him

“-ish, why?”

“Because I'm going to beat the odds and fill you up a hundred times until it takes”

His logic was flawed, bless his heart, but you couldn't deny that the idea of him using you over and over again like an animal in heat sent a shiver down your spine, and your pussy clenched in protest.

“Now I'll take the food up, and when I come back I want you in the bedroom, ready to be filled up again.”

He quickly prepped the plate and disappeared up the steps, leaving you dripping down your legs and shocked at his words.

Maybe when this implant ran out, you were going think twice before replacing it…

[thebluester2020]

[SDV] Kinktober Day 8: "Sthenolagnia"

Summary: You've always had a not-so-well-hidden thing for men with muscles. So, it was only to be expected that you would develop a crush on Alex!

Warning(s): Reader is a picky lady in this one, Dub-con(?), Alex is kinda mean in this one, Fingering, Muscle Worship kinda(More so that the reader just really likes men with muscles and her dreams come true tbh)

Side Note(s): quick note: sthenolagnia just equals "muscle worship". when i first heard of it, it sounded way dirtier than what it actually is.

Also second side-note, instead of Anthon from ZZZ. I'm gonna switch it up to Alex from SDV because— idk, I thought it would fit him more lol.

You've always been into a certain type of body type when it came down to your men.

Tall and handsome? That was a given and easy to find on a good day, but...what really got you going? A man that was fit and hunky, broad-shouldered, and with arms strong enough to crush a melon between his bicep and forearm. And with such a specific type of interest, your numbers in the dating pool reduced significantly. You thought you'd be able to ignore it, and date men who were outside of your picky selection box but...it was so hard!

As someone who preferred to be tossed around.

You couldn't stand the thought of a man with arms as thin as a pencil being able to do that to you!

You had just about given up until your grandfather recommended you to move to Stardew Valley on account of a letter you had finally gotten around to reading a few years after his sudden passing. When you packed your bags and got on the first bus there, you weren't expecting much really. A farming town? Old people and families, at most. You weren't expecting there to be people your age and you were fine with that!

You tried to focus your mind on doing good by your grandfather.

At least...until your plans were derailed a little.

When you saw him. The only gridball player in the entire town, tall and handsome, with sun-kissed skin and a pair of green eyes you found yourself getting caught up in every time you spotted him in town! But your favorite part about the stranger? (Who you soon came to figure out was named 'Alex') It was his muscles.

You were hooked on having a taste, just a small one! Nothing too major, after being stuck with such poor pickings in Zuzu city for the last few years, you were a tad bit desperate to fulfill your fantasies!

Luckily, however, Alex was eager to fulfill his own fantasies, especially with the cute new farmer who kept eyeing him like a piece of meat every time you two happened to be in the same vicinity.

. . .

Alex currently sat behind you on the bare wooden floor, your back arched against his chest as he hooked his legs over your won, forcing them to stay open as he used a hand to piston his thick fingers in and out of your pussy whilst he used his free arm to keep you in a headlock. You whined pathetically as loud squelches echoed throughout your small farmhouse, your slick spitting out of your cunt dirtily.

Alex tightened his lock around your head, the tight feeling of his muscles making you dizzy as fat tears began to dot your eyeline. "Stop squirmin' farm girl," Alex hissed against your ear. "You can definitely take it, can't you?" He continued mockingly all before it was followed by a harsh slap against your pussy. A yelp left your lips, Alex laughing at your whines as he strained he looked over your shoulder to admire his work of making the newest addition to the town into his own personal slut.

He slapped your pussy again, enjoying your cries before he suddenly yanked his fingers out from your wetness and shoving them back in, continuing his unforgiving pace. "A-Alex!" You keened. "T-Too...t-too much!" Your body shook and jerked in Alex's hold, your nails scratching fruitlessly against his forearm as your body didn't seem to know whether it wanted Alex to keep you in a headlock or if it wanted him to let you go to get more air into your lungs.

However, Alex was having none of it.

Instead, he loosened his headlock, allowing you a few seconds of air before he resumed his lock only this time...he slapped a hand around your mouth to silence your moans. He roughly pressed your head back against his shoulder, forcing you to look at him while his fingers started to curl and abuse your g-spot.

One merciless thrust after the other...

"Stupid farm girl," He said to you cruelly with a disapproving look in his eyes. "Can't you listen? I said...take it." He hissed.

Your blush behind his hand only increased as you felt his cock twitch and bounce in its confines against your ass. Yet, Alex, he forced himself to be patient as he tried to focus on the imagination of what your pussy would feel like, clenched around his cock as desperately as it was currently on his fingers. "C'mon cute girl, squirt over my fingers and I'll loosen up on you like you're beggin' me to!" He laughed.

He soon paused his fingers momentarily, your brain foolishly beginning to convince itself that he was giving you a break until...he resumed, shoving an extra finger alongside the current two that were inside of you as all three digits honed in on your g-spot. Your whines behind his hand grew higher and higher in pitch, tears falling down your face from the sheer intensity of your pleasure as your thighs started to shake. Your whole body was beginning to shudder more and more until...a stream of liquid gushed out of your cunt.

Alex groaned at the delicious sight, licking his lips as a smirk plastered itself onto his handsome features. "Gooood girl..." He whispered against your ear, placing an appreciative kiss on your cheek, fingering your cunt, and praising you until your squirt finally died down.

Alex kissed you one last time as he pulled his fingers from your cunt. "Knew you could do it, farm girl," He smirked. His arms quickly wrapped around your torso, hugging you to his chest as you struggled to catch your breath, whining and moaning freely now that your mouth wasn't covered anymore. Shakily, your hands ran over Alex's arm appreciatively. And the whole time, your eyes trailed over the beads of sweat that beaded the skin of his forearm and bicep, like a dog eyeing its new favorite toy.

And Alex didn't even dare think of missing the way your eyes threatened to form into hearts as you looked at his muscles. "Y' like that?" He snickered as his arms tightened around you more. "You'll be getting more of 'em in a second. Next, I'll fuck you on that squeaky ass bed of yours, you can admire my arms as I fuck you in a mating press." He continued.

That was when Alex's cock twitched against your ass again, you knew good and well that you weren't a break anytime soon.

Not until you squirted around his cock that is.

[weirdsht]

Hi! Good day/evening to you. Would it be alright if we get more of yan!cale? 😽 I read ur yan!cale stories and I deeply stand by you.

Overboard

notes: i'm not experienced with writing yanderes and I couldn't think of a specific scenarios so i went with this a short fic instead. If you have any scenarios in mind feel free to send them and i'll do my best to deliver!

tags: subtle yandere cale (tbh you have to squint huhu), established relationship, vague novel spoilers

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

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The clock strikes just after midnight. It was quiet as everyone had gone to their designated rooms to sleep.

Almost everyone that is.

Cale and Ron are still awake and talking. With the young master sitting on the couch and the servant standing up beside him as he reads the documents he has been given.

Usually, Cale would have been asleep long ago. At this time he would be cuddling with his significant other and the children averaging nine years old. In fact, he can hear the bed that’s just 10 steps away calling him already.

But alas he still has something to do.

“A viscount’s son huh? Where does he get the audacity to try and touch what’s mine?”

Ron stayed silent at his young master’s calm voice. Instead, he peeked at the document in Cale’s hand.

The document was something the servant had written himself. It consisted of every detail that happened when Cale’s significant other was away. Getting a much-needed vacation after being cooped up at the underground villa during the entirety of the war.

It consisted of places they went to. Things they bought. People they talked to. Even things they looked at for more than 30 seconds.

Every move they made was written in that document.

“Ron, everyone knows that the Henituse is a duchy now right?”

“Of course young master.”

“And everyone knows who my significant other is right?”

“Yes, young master. You are a famous figure in both continents, your significant other is bound to be known too.”

Usually, Cale would grimace at the thought of him being famous. But not right now.

“Then why would such a lowly noble like this trash here dare make a move on _____?”

“Some rabbits just don’t know the value of their lives, young master.”

Cale could feel his anger rising. However, he held it in. He can’t raise his voice right now. Not only was it late but _____ and the children were already asleep on the bed a few steps away from him.

Huuu

“I wanted for _____ to relax for once. The war was quite detrimental to their health.”

The young master sighed once more before fully calming down.

“You did a good job not letting that bastard go near them again after the 2nd time it happened.”

Ron flashed his usual benign smile at the compliment. Despite that, Cale could see in the old man’s eyes that he was not yet satisfied.

“Was _____ bothered that much?”

“Yes, young master. They felt distraught during the first two days of their vacation because of him.”

Ah, so that’s why Ron was still angry.

“Then I guess looting him dry won’t be enough. I’ll you handle the rest. Go do whatever will ease your heart. Just make sure to clean up afterwards.”

Molan’s last patriarch only bowed before going out of Cale’s room. The documents that Cale had been reading are in his hands, ready to be burned at the fireplace. Despite the lack of verbal response from the benign old man, Cale knows he will follow the orders given to him.

Which was why he could go back to bed with a lighter heart.

Meanwhile, the documents are now successfully fueling the fireplace of the villa. Ron watches the paper turn to ash. He oversees how the last thing that was burned was the description of the viscount’s son. Written below that was his offence.

His crime?

Trying to flirt with _____. Twice.

Even had the nerve to say a pickup line.

“Maybe I’ll let Choi Han handle him instead.”

[sillylilreader]

a fateful hue (Shoto Todoroki x Reader) (Soulmate Au)

sorry I haven’t posted in a bit :/ haven’t felt well tbh

Summary: In a world of soulmates, where you experience color upon finding your soulmate, you discover yourself entangled with a certain dual toned employee after a rather amicable breakup.

Warnings: angst, fast paced, alcohol, breakup, not a happy ending,

It was a lousy morning, for a lousy day, for an even lousier night. You’d lost your job, your boyfriend, and even your wits all in one day. 

Your job had been threatening you with termination for months now, saying you’d taken too many days off, been late too many times. Today was the last straw, as you showed up at 7:31, instead of 7:30. It was silly, really, that this was the nail in the coffin for them. Surely, someone else had fucked up worse that day. But alas, you had received the boss’ rage in the end, as she kicked you out with your box of little decorations and doodads. 

As for your boyfriend, you knew it was over long ago. You’d known each other for ages, stayed together for the familiarity. But as soon as you shared your first kiss, your first touch, you knew it wasn’t gonna work. You both pulled away with the oh so familiar look of disappointment. As soon as he called you, voice filled with a suppressed excitement, you knew he’d found his soulmate. You let him go, with not so much as an ‘oh no’, and just like that he was packed up and gone when you returned home.

‘The least he could’ve done was clean up…’ you thought to yourself, a slight anger bubbling in your tummy, as you returned to a trashed apartment. 

The apartment wasn’t trashed per say, but there was a slew of trash left in his wake. Anything he didn’t need was left behind. The familiar emptiness of the home left you hollow, feeling little like a home and more like just a room.

You were never one to dwell on the little things, moving through life at a brisk pace. But as you neared your thirties, getting steadily closer by the day, you found yourself becoming more and more desperate to find your soulmate in life. Your now ex boyfriend and you had thought you were being revolutionary by settling for each other, but as made apparent by his absence, neither of you were that happy with the other.

Maybe you should have fought harder.. You wondered. But, deep down, you knew he wouldn’t have stayed for you. It’s not that you thought you weren’t worth it. But you knew if you were in his shoes, you would have done the same.

As the sun went down, you decided a good bit of alcohol would do you some good. Anything to warm the ache in your heart, as you found yourself drowning in your own sorrow. You put on your warmest coat, trekking outside into the monochrome glow of the lowering star. 

Shadows crossed your path and blended into the pavement, making eerie shapes as you walked on by. 

You soon found yourself in the nearby liquor store, scanning the bottles on the rack, looking for something familiar. You were so involved in your search, that you barely registered the dual toned head of hair behind you. 

“Miss..?” they mumbled out, in a voice soft and monotone, causing you to jump in place and nearly knock over the display stand.

You whipped around, almost bumping into the stranger. “Sorry?” you stuttered, embarrassment flushing your cheeks.

The dual toned eyes met yours, two shades of gray, matching the white and gray hair. “Are you looking for something… specific?” It was then you noticed the familiar employee uniform.

You also couldn’t help but notice the beauty of the man. He wasn’t just handsome, he was gorgeous. His bone structure was perfect, and beneath his uniform, he was seemingly fit.

Your brain stumbled over the words, struggling for maybe a minute too long. 

“Um... not really…” you paused momentarily, desperate to continue a conversation with any living being. “…do you have anything for a, um, breakup..?” You tried to maintain composure, even tried for a laugh, but as the words left your mouth, you’d finally realized the weight of your situation. Your lips trembled and your eyes watered, the burden of your body becoming heavier.

The employee reached a hand out in your direction, as if to help you with the weight, but he seemed to think better of it, retracting his hand at the last moment. A frown graced his features, an expression you thought shouldn’t look so perfectly poised on anyone. 

“Um... we have some… stronger options, this way,” he gestured to your left, offering to lead you down the aisle. You sniffled, gratefully accepting the help, following him down the lane. 

Your footsteps fell, quietly in sync with each other. It was a short walk, very short, but as you wiped away your forming tears, you thought you caught him sneaking glances at you. 

If it wasn’t for your shitty circumstances, you’d be flattered by such a pretty guy checking you out. 

I mean, come on, he looked your age, he had a calming air to him, and he even seemed to be a gentleman.

 ‘No, he’s just doing his job…’ you thought, disappointed in yourself. Getting yourself interested in someone so soon after your break up? Bad luck, you don’t want to treat someone as a rebound. 

As you reached the section of stronger alcohol, a brand known for its near toxicity, you turned to thank the boy, but he had already wandered off to continue helping customers. 

You found yourself a bit disappointed at his absence.

Afterwards, you quickly picked out your poison of choice, and made your way to the checkout, surprised to find him waiting for you there.

You waved, softly as if you were scared to disturb him, as you placed your product on the counter. 

“Thank you. For showing me, I mean… I know it must be tiring to deal with unaware people all day..?” You ended your sentence, as if it was a question. Embarrassment crept up your back as you floundered to save your mistake.

He scanned the product, a slight beep filling your ears. It would annoy you, if it weren’t for the boy in front of you.

He simply quirked an eyebrow, the ghost of a smile on his face. “No worries… Happens all the time,” he muttered absentmindedly. 

Once he had bagged the item, he turned to you. “It’s on me..” he spoke carefully, as if he might surprise you again.

You read his nametag carefully as he spoke, barely registering his words.

“Oh! Really? Well, thank you… Todoroki.. It was nice meeting you..!” you smiled, as wide as you could given the circumstances. You were sure he could see the sadness in your eyes, but it didn’t matter to you.

“Yeah, you too…” he waved, carefully, as you left, his gaze following you out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t long before you found yourself wandering back to the liquor store. You were intoxicated, not blackout, but close. You weren’t sure why your feet led you this way, but you were sure you had to get there. 

It had been weeks since you’d last seen him, or even been to the liquor store, but after a night on the bar, your feet drug you ever closer to his place of employment. 

Was this creep behavior? Yeah. Were you following through anyway? Also yeah!

As you were met with the familiar buzz of the neon sign, illuminating the sky around you, you found yourself questioning your motives. What did you hope to get out of this? Another small greeting? Todoroki didn’t seem like the social type, and surely wouldn’t appreciate a random stalker.

Sober you would be stopped dead in your tracks by this realization. But drunk you? They saw this as an opportunity! Maybe he would think you’re special, showing interest in him.

As you took your next step forward, into the shop, a hand grabbed you from behind, covering your mouth, and pulling you into the back alley roughly.

You squirmed and kicked against the strong hand, to no avail. You tried to scream, but nothing escaped you. 

As you began to run out of air, and the lights dimmed around you, you heard a door swing open and a quick set of footsteps. A loud crack went off, and you were dropped to the hard ground. 

As you regained complete consciousness, you were met with dual toned eyes, watching you wearily. 

“Are you alright?” a worried voice reached your ears, as his gaze raked your figure, looking for any injuries.

You quickly collected yourself at the sound of his voice, Todoroki’s voice, no less.

“Mmyeah..” your speech slurred, much to your embarrassment. Your brain was foggy, and you still hadn’t processed the attack. 

Your eyes quickly found the body of your assailant. He was a big dude, with dark hair and, apparently, darker motives. As you searched again for your savior, you caught Todoroki glaring down at him with the utmost look of hatred.

As if sensing your gaze, he perked up, meeting your eyes. “Let me help you up..?” he held a hand out in your direction. You gently waved his hand away, getting up yourself. You almost swore you caught a look of disappointment, faintly visible on his features.

It was then you realized just how beautiful he was, perfect bone structure and sharp eyes. His long lashes fanned across his cheeks so gracefully, you almost thought it was mascara, or falsies.

In your drunken staring stupor, you came to the conclusion that the moment had become awkward. Your cheeks flushed, as you tore your gaze away, hands coming to cover your darkened cheeks. 

His bicolored eyebrows knit together, as Todoroki watched you closely. “Can I walk you home?” he muttered, fidgeting with his phone. “At least let me take care of the 110 call..?”

You nodded faintly, grateful for the help.

As the two of you padded home together, you found yourself admiring him more, and more. You didn’t know much about him, but surely he was a kind soul if he helped you out. Anybody else would have turned the other way. And it was surely helping that he was so good looking.

You hiccuped, covering your mouth, flustered. Todoroki met your gaze, a confused look on his face as his eyes fell on your hand, hovering over your lips. Quickly, a dark hue dusted his cheeks and bled into his ears, as if he had an embarrassing thought. 

“Whatcha thinkin ‘bout..?” Your speech was slurred, bringing heat to your cheeks. “Anything interestin?”

“Nothing, nothing,” he mumbled, a surprising bit of humor laced into his tone. Was he laughing at you? 

You frowned, small enough that nobody would care, but big enough to notice. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Soon enough you found yourself placed in front of your apartment, both of you lingering together.

“Come inside..?” you muttered, barely loud enough to be heard.

His cheeks lit up, dusted with a heavy blush, eyebrows knitting together. “Sorry.. I.. I dont..-” 

Your eyes widened at the implication you made. “No! Not what I meant, ‘m sorry,” your words came out jumbled together, further embarrassing you. 

You sighed, dissatisfied at his lack of a proper answer, and slid down the door to your apartment, head in hands. You felt his careful stare on the top of your scalp, care and uncertainty filling his mind. 

“I guess.. I could come in for tea..?” Todoroki winced as he said it, ever so slightly, a ghost of an expression, really. What was he thinking? You were some stranger he barely knew. He was aware of some connection to you, but was it worth the risk? 

Apparently, it was.

As your face lit up, he knew he made the right choice. Your cheeks flushed, and your features displayed a look of excitement as you raised your head to meet his look. You nodded excitedly, rising from the ground, and clumsily unlocking your front door.

At your reaction, he flushed, a deep gray dusting the tips of his ears. Todoroki averted his gaze, eyeing the lights that adorned the apartment building, illuminating each doorway. 

As you lead him through your front door, he couldn’t help but notice the state of the place. The place was cluttered beyond belief, with little memories hidden everywhere, hard to let go of. His attention fell on a specific doodad, a small cat figure, each side a different color. The left half a pale tabby, the right a dark, patchy hue. 

He tenderly picked up the cat, inspecting it. Holding the dual toned feline, he caught your attention. 

“You like it..?” he nodded in response, a slight look of intrigue in his eyes. “You can have it,” you slurred, plopping down on a loveseat.

“I can’t accept this,” he shook his head. “It’s yours.”

You gingerly patted the space beside you, as you reassured him, he could keep the figure. Todoroki sighed, squeezing into the love seat with you, careful not to touch you. You felt a little hurt at the implications of his fear. You absentmindedly twiddled your fingers, humming to yourself. 

You two tried your best to make small talk, chatting amongst yourselves. You found his quiet nature endearing, but couldn’t help but want him to open up to you.

Wouldn’t that be special? It’s always nice getting someone to trust you. 

“So about the tea?” he gestured towards your kitchen, catching your attention. You instantly rose from your seat, so quickly in fact, you found yourself falling forward.

Todoroki reacted in the blink of an eye, extending an arm to catch you by the wrist. 

As soon as his skin came in contact with yours, your sight erupted into beautiful colors. Every hue of the rainbow made its way into your vision. Todorokie must have noticed it too, as his grip immediately loosened, causing you to drop to the floor.

As you rubbed your head, feeling the pain from the impact, you took in your surroundings. Todoroki stood over you with his hands to his chest, looking terrified. “I need to go…” he mumbled, under his breath. 

You instantly sobered up, hurt clear across your features, and not from the fall.”Huh..? But, surely you see it too?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I need to leave,” And just like that, he sped for the door. “Goodbye..” he muttered, letting the door slam shut behind him.

You let your head fall back to the floor, ignoring the dull throbbing pain it brought. The real pain resided in your mind, your heart. Of course your soulmate would flake out on you.

You drowsily picked yourself up, the cold, hard floor trying to pull you in as your skin peeled off it. You made your way to the bedroom, haphazardly taking off your clothes and throwing them onto the carpet. The bed welcomed you in, dragging you into its warmth. You found yourself drifting off rather easily, thoughts and disappointment consuming you.

[ellouchi]

Jimmy wedding/marriage headcannons (sfw (see disclaimer)/gn)

Disclaimer: abusive and toxic relationship, mentions of physical and sexual assault. Please read this work at your own discretion.

Side notes: OHHH LOOK AT WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST YESTERDAY AHAH...hah my bad. So this started out pretty tame, too tame for my liking. I wanted to get more toxic and miserable and finally I managed to write this. I'm very proud of it tbh lol. First part is alright but second part has things mentioned in the disclaimer. As per usual if I made a mistake or forgot to include smth lmk!!

Lighter scenario:

— Jimmy wouldn't bring up marriage, why would he really? Yeah you two may have been a couple for years but this man literally sees no point in marriage. For him, marriage was not about love — it was about benefits. This doesn't mean Jimmy is unable to love, he can, granted in a very convoluted hot and cold way.

— provided your relationship is on the healthier side, if you bring up the topic, initially Jim would genuinely think you were joking. You weren't. You had to repeat yourself for him to finally consider your words, carefully.

— the man was torn: on one hand, of course you would want to marry him, on the other hand, why did you want to marry him? Jimmy will flat out ask a single "why". He expects something pragmatic, realistic but you give him nothing but a look full of love. Because you loved him, wanting to swear to remain by his side for eternity to come. It was corny, Jimmy couldn't understand how you didn't feel an ounce of embarrassment and yet... Jimmy looked away: dammit, how stupid you were. Now his mind was occupied with the thought of you being his spouse. Great....

— Jimmy would settle for a civil marriage, maybe a short trip to a chapel also. You must understand: this man chronically doesn't have money. You will either have a big proper wedding (which is highly unlikely, besides Jimmy doesn't even want it, he just has an idea that that's how it supposed to go), or just your signatures on the marriage contract. If you follow some specific religion pretty serious, he is willing to fulfil all needed procedures, but that's still bare bones.

— the surname thing can go two ways: either Jimmy insists that you take his surname or he takes yours provided he hates his family with burning passion. If your surname carries some status, definitely takes it, like no way he wouldn't. The idea of double surname weirds Jimmy out a bit but he would permit it if you used his surname more often.

— now, the ceremony: Jimmy will rent a rather chic costume. It's probably the first and last time you will see Jim looking so well groomed: his posture upright, hair slicked back and no traces of the stubble you came to adore. He looks like an eye candy, and even though the suit is not to his liking Jimmy felt all smug with the way you fawned.

— the image of you in your attire makes an impression on him too. Jimmy just stares at you shamelessly as always, he's not too generous with praise but his "wow" and a smirk tugging at his lips tells you all you need to know.

— Jimmy would struggle to find a ring for you. He was well aware he had to go to jewelry store, but the mental image of the employees' treatment of him made it excruciatingly hard. After several attempts, he finally found a decent store with an adequate selection of rings. The piece itself didn't have a diamond in it, but Jimmy was very proud of his find.

— no proper wedding didn't mean that there would be no celebrations. Together with none other than Curly you planned a tiny wedding party, Jimmy had already been suspecting that something was in the making. Despite anticipating the surprise, he had to admit he was looking forward to what you two had planned.

— Jimmy doesn't wear his ring, makes excuses like it's too tight or too loose or uncomfortable to wear but in reality he's afraid of losing it one way or another. He has to hide it from himself actually, just in case he was going to do something foolish.

— now that you're officially married, Jimmy will use his newly acquired status to his advantage. Whether it's legal dealings or winning petty confrontations, Jimmy is using you in many ways you aren't even aware of. This man truly felt like a winner after declaring to some jerk that he was your husband, not some random boyfriend.

— Jimmy will keep the little bride and groom statue that has been on the wedding cake, puts it somewhere on the shelf so anyone could see it. "See? That's you and me. Don't forget about it" he would remind you whilst pointing at it like a child.

— this doesn't end here however. Being your husband means having a silver of authority over you, even if you two are on "equal" standing. Gives Jimmy many opportunities to (un)consciously manipulate you or gaslight you into whatever he wants. "Maybe instead of listening to your "friends" you should be listening to your husband", "As your husband, don't I have a say in this situation?" and "Don't forget you choose to marry me, I didn't force you." are the most frequent ones.

— Jimmy still would struggle with the idea that out of all the people, you've chosen to marry him. He didn't have a high standing in society, a respectable job, or best of character he was painfully aware of that, just as you. During those moments of doubts, Jimmy would come over to you and hold you, possessively. You both swore to be with each other forever, there was no going back.

Darker scenario:

— if Jimmy thinks you're better than him, like you being more successful and respectable, he latches onto marriage like a starving wolf. There is no better way of keeping you to himself than marrying you, especially if you show the initiative. This man projects a lot of his insecurities onto you like it's his full time job. This creates constant arguments and fights, threats of divorce and tearful apologies.

— Jimmy wouldn't believe in spousal infidelity (if he does it, naturally). If you remind him he's a married man, who's married to you, Jim will become annoyed, hostile even, and ridicule you for being overly jealous. The whole marriage situation becomes more of ordeal to him than something of use, especially if you put pressure on him "for no reason". Jimmy's attitude will get worse and worse with time, if he previously didn't pull any weights into the your relationship, now he actively sabotages it.

— Jimmy normally doesn't have paranoia but he's very susceptible to it. Marrying him in order to ease his worries, like you leaving him, won't work and would make things worse, so much worse. Precisely because you're his spouse, Jim would monitor or outright stalk you. It will start with checking your phone, any written journals, receipts from purchases and will escalate to him wandering nearby your work and following you when you're out with your friends or family. Even at home, where the two of you live, Jimmy won't take his eyes off from you.

— paranoia with turn into controlling your every move. Jimmy would create some absurd narrative, stemming from his own insecurities no less, and would frequently accuse you of being unfaithful. At some point smiling at your phone becomes something you have to look out for unless you're prepared for a round of questioning. Retaliation would be met with even more aggression: do you think he's blind or stupid?

— since Jimmy is your husband, you must listen and obey him. Doesn't matter if you are too, or if you are the breadwinner, he is in charge of the household (like, the man barely contributes and when he does, likes to exaggurate his input). Jim loves feeling like he is in control so it's easy to stroke his ego simply by complying with whatever he says, but this will also inevitably trap you. From now on, Jimmy will tell you what to like and dislike, how to dress, whom to talk to and how to talk. With no retaliation from your side, he wouldn't be above getting physical with you, with time he would dehumanise you more and more. Yanks, pushes, slaps and finally beats you if you disobey or "act up". And worst of all Jimmy doesn't even register what he's doing to you.

— I'm not going to go into details, but I do want to bring up the fact that Jimmy would think it's okay to have sex with you whenever he wants. He believes that there is no such thing as "rape" in marriage, because why would you marry in the first place? Gropes you and uses dirty talk at semi public spaces and at home all the time, no matter the situation you're in. You're his spouse (property) after all.

— trying to plead to Jimmy's human side would be a futile attempt. He would remember all of your "cheating", your outbursts, cries and hurtful words towards him. Jimmy knows what you're plotting, you are making him furious with you to look like a victim when it's he who is suffering. You should be grateful he's not divorcing you, no one would want such an awful spouse like you.

— final point, the song for this relationship would be Mascara by Deftones (yes I'm a basic bitch)

[cookinguptales]

The power is still out so I guess I’ll get started on that meta now.

One thing that I think is really fascinating about this season as a whole is that it’s really, really emphasizing the power Nandor and Guillermo have to accidentally hurt each other. It’s kind of fascinating, tbh, because this whole show it’s been Nandor purposefully but also accidentally hurting Guillermo — but this season, it’s been very much the other way around.

Let me start with Nandor’s history of this. It happens in almost every episode, being honest with you, but two of the clearest instances were in 1.01 and 4.09.

In the very first episode, we’re introduced to the relationship that Nandor and Guillermo have by how they behave on their 10th anniversary as a master-familiar partnership. Guillermo is practically giddy at the idea that his beloved master is finally going to make him a vampire, and he’s hurt deeply when he not only does not do so, he appears to have forgotten altogether how long Guillermo has been there.

We feel bad for Guillermo here, but… well, let’s look at it from Nandor’s perspective. Yes, he forgot how long Guillermo’s been there, but… being real with you, the vampires seem to have a very shaky grasp on time at the best of times. They don’t understand human lifespans at all, they have very fuzzy memories for when things happen, and almost every time they make time estimates they’re off by a hilarious amount. I don’t know that we can fully blame Nandor for not realizing that an entire decade has gone by — he, like the other vampires, tends to live simultaneously in the Long Time Ago and the Right Now and any time in between those periods is ?????

So to him, he’s remembered when their anniversary is (already a success) and has put hours into making a handmade art project for his very endearing familiar. He is sure that Guillermo is gonna love this. He thinks he is absolutely acing this being-a-vampiric-master thing.

But we know that his gift depicting the two of them as vampires together is really just rubbing salt in the wound, because we’re approaching this thing as humans — like Guillermo.

Then again in 4.09, Nandor straight-up steals Guillermo’s boyfriend and inadvertently puts the events in motion that will lead to Guillermo’s boyfriend leaving him for his own clone. Terrible behavior! This hurts Guillermo deeply! His very first boyfriend cheating on him (sort of) with the man he’s been in love with for over a decade and then leaving him altogether for another man he is cheating with (definitely) who also happens to be his own clone.

That’s traumatizing!

But… again, let’s look at it from Nandor’s (very stupid) POV. He knows that Guillermo losing his boyfriend will hurt him, but he also wants to have said boyfriend. So he comes up with a solution that, to his mind, will make everyone happy: let Guillermo keep his boyfriend but also make a clone of him so he can have him, too.

I think it’s very important to note here that, catty as it was to say, Nandor was right. He definitely could have stolen Guillermo’s Freddie without too much work. The guy’s a philanderer. But instead of doing that, he used up one of his last three wishes to make his own Freddie specifically to avoid hurting Guillermo. And then he seemed genuinely confused when Guillermo was hurt anyway. He then tried to do whatever he could to make Guillermo stop hurting, including offering him his own Freddie, until he ultimately gave up a toy that he truly loved so Guillermo would hurt less.

Again, from Nandor's POV he has made a significant sacrifice for Guillermo’s well-being. He has given up a man that he really, really liked so Guillermo would stop being so heartbroken. Moreover, this is a man that, to his mind, he got the hard way instead of the easy way that would have hurt Guillermo more.

So he still thinks he’s doing great at this relationship, even if we know he is ultimately breaking Guillermo’s heart.

(And as an aside here, I think it’s fascinating that Guillermo really did seem to understand exactly what was going on, too. He knew that Nandor’s decision to clone Freddie wasn’t about Nandor wanting Freddie, it was about Nandor wanting all of Guillermo’s attention on him at all times, and that’s why he was angry.)

Anyway… that’s all a really long way to get to my point, which is this. We’ve seen Nandor play this out a hundred times, doing something he thought was fine only for it to devastate Guillermo. We understand human lifetimes, relationships, and emotions, so we understand why Guillermo is upset. But, and this is key, Nandor doesn’t.

So season five finally shows this happening in reverse. I’m not going to say that Guillermo hasn’t hurt Nandor before, purposefully or otherwise, because he has. But boy did he really fuck things up this time.

Like Nandor, Guillermo didn’t do any of it on purpose. He was never trying to hurt Nandor or upset social norms when he paid Derek to bite him. But vampiric priorities are as foreign to Guillermo as human priorities are to Nandor. He did something he thought was totally fine and value-free only to find that he didn’t just transgress a social norm, he transgressed the big one. He didn’t just do something that would hurt Nandor, he did something that will destroy him.

He didn’t mean to. His misunderstanding was understandable to us, fellow humans. But that doesn’t make it okay. Just like it wasn’t okay when Nandor stole his fucking boyfriend.

It's almost like this was tailor-made to force the audience to think about how the vampires have been interacting with Guillermo for years. This time Guillermo didn't know something about their culture, and obviously we didn't either. So we felt that same dawning horror when we understood how big the accidental fuck-up was — and we had to come to terms with the fact that this is how Nandor feels about Guillermo all the time.

Anyway... Guillermo’s big angst trigger seems to be being undervalued by the people he loves. It’s when someone who he loves with everything he has does not love him back. We see that devastation hit him both of the times that Nandor accidentally hurt him in this post, along with a thousand other times. I think, in fact, it is his main drive as a character: doing everything he can to be valued. It’s why he wants to be a vampire. It’s why he serves the vampires. It’s why he lies to his family. It’s depressing and it’s codependent and it’s unhealthy, but that’s Guillermo.

Nandor’s big angst trigger, on the other hand, seems to be abandonment. He is so fucking terrified of the people that he loves leaving him, and that seems to be rooted pretty firmly in his experiences when he was still alive. (Jehan, his wives running away, etc.) He’s so scared of Gail leaving him that he just tries harder to win her back when he discovers she’s cheating on him. He’s so scared of Laszlo leaving him that he gets angry when Laszlo makes new friends. He’s so scared of Guillermo leaving him in 2.08 that he’s willing to humiliate himself to bring him home. His primary drive really seems to be hoarding the people he loves close — too close for comfort sometimes. He tries so hard to force a connection that he ironically tends to sever it. Just look at his poor descendent Madeleine. :’)

And just as Nandor constantly sets off Guillermo’s devaluation trigger, Guillermo constantly sets off Nandor’s abandonment trigger. Every time he leaves or even just threatens to do so, Nandor goes ballistic. But it seems like the only thing that sets him off more than Guillermo leaving is Guillermo staying where he is but being emotionally absent. He doesn’t know how to handle a Guillermo who has replaced him while they’re still living in the same home. Right now he thinks that Guillermo has replaced him with Laszlo as a hang-out buddy, and that’s bad enough — how will he respond when he finds out that Guillermo has replaced him with Derek in a much more intimate way?

Guillermo’s doing everything he can to spare Nandor’s feelings in this season, but it seems like every decision he makes just upsets Nandor more. Nandor feels replaced, abandoned, and neglected, and he’s going to feel that way a hell of a lot more when he sees the truth.

Guillermo has always been shown to be capable of hurting Nandor in intimate ways that no one else can. From the very first episode, we’re made abundantly aware that Guillermo chooses to take Nandor’s shit. He twitches that curtain to the side and we realize that no matter how strong Nandor is, Guillermo has the ultimate power in this relationship. Guillermo can hurt Nandor like no one else can because Nandor trusts him to protect him while he’s asleep.

Then Guillermo becomes this legendary slayer and he can actually physically hurt Nandor like no one else can just because he’s stronger than even the most powerful and respected vampires in the Tri-State Area.

But we’re seeing now that Guillermo can also hurt Nandor emotionally like no one else can. Nandor gave him that power, too, didn’t he? This whole series, Nandor has been the one hurting Guillermo over and over, but this season is making it so fucking clear that Guillermo has the power to do it right back. Even if he doesn’t mean to.

Especially if he doesn’t mean to, maybe.

The two of them are so terrible at communicating with one another. Just. So fucking terrible. And that’s a lot of how Nandor accidentally hurt Guillermo over and over throughout the years. And it’s how Guillermo has just straight-up gutted him now.

[sasukeless]

what are your modern au sns headcanons?

i like to incorporate as many things from canon into modern aus as possible tbh so i kinda already joked about sasuke being probably hunted down by true crime obsessed ppl trying to interview him about his insane murderer brother and also naruto finding out later in life he might be a nepo baby and his father was a big political figure idk it’s funny to me

as for narusasu specific hcs

they met at an orphanage (because unlike konoha who lets children raise themselves i feel modern au they just get shove into the system)

growing up they definitely liked to vandalize places, especially monuments. or well naruto did and sasuke covered for him because he likes naruto.

naruto spends half of his time in middle and high school carving sasuke’s name into tables and walls. he says he does it so sasuke gets blamed but he’s just in love and has a sasuke brainrot.

naruto is a collage drop out and ends up working with plants (i refuse to let him suffer by going into politics) and sasuke also drops out with him but comes back later to finish some because he ends working with reptiles specifically snakes.

naruto loves buy matching stuff All the time but he never admits it’s matching. he just buys things like bracelets or mugs in purple and orange and that’s it. sasuke is very aware of this but he never complains and uses everything naruto buys.

after they start dating they do wear those stupid matching necklaces kishimoto drew.

in their free time, sasuke is really good at playing instruments whereas naruto is more into painting (he’s so into street art!!!). sasuke for sure has a electric guitar btw

sasuke did naruto’s first piercing (eyebrow one) when they were 14. it hurt so bad they had a physical fight. still, sasuke does the rest of naruto’s piercings too.

they fight a lot!!! everyone is weirded outtt. but it’s normal to them. and five minutes later they are making out. they have a thing for fighting during sex too so there’s always a black eye or busted lip in the morning.

i can’t really see them dating other people prior each other tbh. it’s like in canon they are The One for each other since forever. they have some surface level crushes here and there before they get together but it’s never serious or affects them.

naruto picks kurama when he’s a kid and mistakes it for a puppy. it is in fact a fox but like by the time he’s told that (an hour later) he has already developed affection so no one can do anything about it, that’s his pet.

neither has a driver license. sasuke gets too annoyed at the traffic and the people in said traffic. meanwhile naruto gets distracted all the time. naruto still has a car and drives it because he thinks it’s fun and since sasuke lets him get away with anything he’s okay with both dying in a car crash because naruto kept singing loudly.

naruto texts sasuke 24/7 and even if sasuke doesn’t reply to all, he does read them and remembers them. sasuke’s texts consist in these two emojis: 👍 and 💜

i disagree with the idea that either of them smokes sorry. naruto tries it once but sasuke says he doesn’t like the taste after he kisses him and it makes naruto want to kill himself so bad, he never again gets close to do it again.

yeah, they share toothbrush and all (gross)

they are super competitive over video games and it’s probably the reason of 90% of their fights

each of them has seen like ten psychiatrists through their lives but they never stick around nor follow any instructions. they are rawdogging it at life and it’s okay, they make each other happy that’s what matters

they get married at 18th on impulse. when their friends find out they disapprove and think it won’t last but they do! they never file for divorce or anything

these are all so messy but yeah i can’t see narusasu being normal in any setting, they also don’t want to be normal

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

here's a wild one for y'all. cw for parental death. names have been changed, it is a kinda specific situation but I think only 1 of my family members is on Tumblr so whatever. sorry it got so long, it's a complicated situation and still VERY fresh so my brain is kinda fried lol.

tldr my dad passed away without a will and we want to give his long-distance "side" gf the house he helped her buy. I'm worried she won't be able to afford the mortgage, but don't really want to give her any of the monetary payouts. WIBTA if my brothers and I kept all of the cash?

so late last week (it's Dec 19 as of submitting) my father (60s M) passed away in a sudden car accident on his way to work. I'm (late 20s ftM) his oldest child, I also have a younger brother (mid 20s M) who we'll call Phineas and an even younger half-brother (almost tween, M) who we'll call Aaron.

so I'd describe my dad as a kind and loving but stubborn and stupid man. I would also guess, based on what I know of his love life, that he was polyamorous but didn't realize it due to his conservative Christian upbringing and didn't know it was an option so instead ended up being...well, kinda an adulterer tbh. this isn't to excuse his actual actions bc they were obviously wrong, but is the way the situation reads to me, a polyamorous person.

Dad had a long distance girlfriend (50s??? maybe??? F) on the West Coast (we live near the East Coast), we'll call her Melody. I met her a few years back when he flew Phineas and I with him to visit her. she's a sweet woman from what I know of her. when I got the news of his passing, I was the one who called her to let her know what happened. (which sucked.)

well, what I Didn't know until I was trying to scrape together travel arrangements (I live 5 hours away from Phineas and my dad) was that he also had a Wife (60sF), who we'll call Patricia. (it wasn't a legal marriage, it was "in the eyes of the Lord" as they said, due to legal complications to do with her social security benefits or something. which is why the arrangements for his death fell onto Phineas and I as his adult children. but if he called her his wife then as far as I'm concerned that's what she is.) he didn't really tell me or Phineas about the full nature of their relationship. Phineas found out bc our dad was spending so much time with her that he'd practically moved in w her, put two and two together and asked her to confirm. I never even knew she existed till all this happened. he had told his parents and siblings about her, and they approved of her. we can only speculate why he kept it so quiet to us, she thinks bc of his history with Real Duds that we'd be upset somehow. idk.

so anyway Patricia knew about Melody. my dad was already seeing Melody when he started seeing Patricia. I don't know what he was thinking when he got with Patricia tbh, can't ask him now anyway, but she knew about Melody the whole time. wasn't thrilled about it, constantly told him he needed to tell her the truth and end things, but doesn't truly hold that against Melody herself bc she didn't know.

Melody, however, did not know about Patricia. he was planning to tell her at some point. kept meaning to. still loved her, didn't wanna hurt her, but was also trying to be monogamously committed to Patricia too. he never got around to actually ending things with Melody before he passed, and as far as she knew he was still planning to move out there and get married to her. he even took out a loan to help her pay for her late mother's house, both their names are on the mortgage and deed.

which brings me to my question. my dad didn't seem to have a will (not that we can find anyway), so Phineas and I are the ones in charge of distributing his various belongings and payouts and such. we both agree that we don't have any use for some house across the country, and Melody is already living in it anyway. imo she should just Have It. however, she is also Pretty Poor. I don't know the specifics of her situation (or, really, much about the complications of home ownership?) but I do worry about her ability to continue to pay the mortgage, assuming that's a thing. we're still waiting to hear about all the details and numbers and have somebody who actually knows about that stuff translate it into layman's terms for us non-homeowners (or in Phineas's case, Brand New Homeowner) so we can get a full picture of how all that is going to work legally speaking.

Dad also had life insurance thru his employer. we are still working thru the red tape at his company to figure out who the beneficiary is, the most likely candidate being me as the eldest child. Phineas and I are agreed that we'll at least be splitting most, if not all, the money evenly between us and Aaron. Patricia is INSISTENT that she doesn't want any of it, she wants us kids to keep it bc unlike some of his exes she never cared about his money (he made GOOD money, but still ended up kinda poor due to both being generous to, and having been taken advantage of by, multiple women since my bio mom died. including having to shell out an insane amount of child support for Aaron despite already having a very active role in his life. like he paid more child support than either I or my fiancee even make at our jobs, while also frequently just straight up directly providing for him where he could). because of his income it's looking like a pretty hefty payout.

however, my brother and I are both pretty poor as well. while we don't know the exact amount we're getting, some are speculating a number that, even split 3 ways, would be Life-Changing for us. we're talking 5 figure amounts, more than I or my fiancee make in a year. like we'll still need to work for a living but, for example, it could be a down-payment on a house or a massive safety net for when I'm out of work (I have a steady job but with seasonal unpaid breaks). it could help Phineas afford expensive repairs for the trailer he now owns, which my dad was supposed to help pay for. in the right account with a decent interest rate, it could be tuition for when Aaron goes to college.

I feel like I Should probably toss some of that money Melody's way, esp since I feel so bad that she's getting the one-two punch of finding out her bf died AND also he had a wife she wasn't aware of. but my brothers and I could really use that money as well. I don't know that Phineas wants to send her any, we're saving that conversation for when we know more of the exact numbers. I don't even know how much Dad was paying towards it, or if he even was anymore. plus--and this is kinda a minor detail--but there's kind of a general vibe I'm getting from the Family (ALL 4 of my dad's siblings AND both his parents are somehow still alive) that Melody is kinda...unliked. they love Patricia and were CONSTANTLY frustrated that he was still visiting Melody and frequently sending her money; I get the feeling they viewed her the same as some of his other gold-digging exes so i think maybe sending her Even More Money would look a little weird? like she's already getting full ownership of a house out of the deal. most of them are in agreement that Phineas and I are the ones who get the final say on the bulk of these decisions but they're...a little pushy anyway.

like I said, we don't know what any of the actual numbers look like AT ALL yet, so it might actually be fine. but WIBTA if we just left her the sole homeowner when she couldn't really afford it, and not send her any money? the consensus will probably show up too late to affect our decision but hey, figured the situation would make for a wild ride anyway (or maybe I just feel like that bc it has been for me LOL).

What are these acronyms?

[dykedvonte]

wanted to say I appreciate your nuanced takes on MW and especially Curly. i don't get the claim that the fandom is full of Curly apologists when majority (esp yt and tiktok) say he's worse than Jimmy. Yes there's commentary about bro culture defending people, he def messed up in trying to placate Jimmy (tbh "we'll fix this" sounded more like trying to keep someone prone to outbursts like Jim calm and not hurt Anya/himself) but I don't think he did nothing to help Anya, since she continued to confide in him and he had less than a week to resolve it before the crash (I also don't get everyone saying he knew for ages when it seems like Anya told him that same week). I get Jimmy's a pos but saying stuff like Curly should've known he'd crash the ship or that Jim had a criminal record he ignored, reducing them to obviously horrible villain and willfully ignorant sidekick feels like a disservice to the game. If your best friend turned out to be horrible, what would you do in a confined space in the span of a few days to respond? I'd say some of the horror comes from trying to do good but ultimately failing, Curly's state after the crash is meant to be tragic horror not revenge/punishment

Thank you and this is what I want to get across.

A lot of information we have to supplement when it comes to how long things have been happening on this current ship. I think people try to add on to the horror and negligence by making things more obvious so it can feel like it was easier to avoid when, true to life, its not. Jimmy clearly didn't deserve or appreciate what Curly did for him in getting him the job, but do you think if Jimmy was that big of a menace on Earth he would've given him a position where he could have that level of power over people's lives? There's something in the fact he specifically chose to pick a position so close to himself where he could watch Jimmy.

I hate the bro code argument because that is a whole can of worms people really don't get. That sort of mentality is born from the general respect and preference of male matter over female ones. Curly is clearly not that guy, he is absent minded about the issue and inadvertently dismissive but he clearly believes Anya, he just can't understand what she's going through. It's an onslaught of information that no one really reacts right to. Additonally, the entire discussion of her assualt plays to heavy into the idea that there is fault outside of the perpertratior when it comes to SA. It's too close if she only did this or if Curly had protected her better but the fact of the matter is Jimmy did what he did. He did it before any of the conversations with Anya about it and it's why her behavior seemed to change so drastically in those last two days.

He has other conflicting thought and while his role as a Captain should've taken over, people act like it's not a very human thing to have such a toxic presence cloud your judgement. It is never easy to separate friend from coworker once that connection is formed, you want to help them, especially if they were friend first and for a long while like in this case. It's not right, but people act like it would be easy when the game clearly points out that no choice is easy to make, especially when you have to make it for more than one person. You have the weigh the consequences, look at all the options and make a plan. People can headcanon and decide how long things where happening, but if we look at what we were presented through the characters eyes, the only person given time to do that was Jimmy.

He waited two months after the crash to appoint himself Captain. Every time a problem was brought up he immediately took action and refused to sit on it and find a better solution. I think it's important to look at the warped way Jimmy takes initiative where Curly didn't as it works as a good contrast of why you don't just run in to "fix" things. The quickest and easiest option may not be the safest or most beneficial. I think some thoughts on the game suffer from the black and white thinking the game doesn't operate on along with us being voyeurs. We see what exactly led to what but the characters don't. They don't have the hindsight and foresight we do and even ours is scrambled by the non-linear story telling.

Like it's hard to talk abuou those grey zones without sounding like an apologist because you're explaining why taking responsibility isn't easy. It's not and it's weird to act like it would be in a scenerio that led up to the events of the game knowing what we know. We see all these characters in such isolated moments with various things before, in between, after and even during we aren't privy too. The idea that Jimmy is worse than Curly heavily banks on the words Jimmy was saying to Jimmy before he crashed the ship. That whatever happened on the ship was his responsibility to bare, which is true due to his position. But, are they not still not responsible for taking the actions Curly then must bare?

Like i feel like people think that these are situation that become easier with age or when you are in a postion of authority and they aren't. You don't lose your biases or gain some sudden knowledge that makes it easier. It just becomes more tiring as you keep dealing with it. I would be first in line to say Curly fucked up and should've done more but the idea he knew how bad it could get or he really saw the worst in the people around him and ignored it pretty much ignores a huge aspect of his character and the game.

[bratbarzal]

On Your Side (NH13) / Chapter Five

Pairing: Nico Hischier x Fem!OC Poppy Jensen*

*I say it's an OC, it's just a name and third person POV. I use minor character descriptions because I don’t get on with writing vague reader inserts/YN for long-form, story heavy fics, but I will generally try to avoid including race and body type or really any physical descriptors. I’m always open to feedback on my writing, or how to be more inclusive.

WC: 17k (holy moly)

Chapter Warnings: I tried to sprinkle some fluffy flashbacks and smutty references later in here just to lighten the mood but this is angsty!! probably cursing I honestly can't remember, and serious warnings rn mentions of hacking/gossip blogs/blackmail/cyber bullying/nudes being leaked, talia is her own warning tbh. I tried not to make a cliched ex comes in between them plot and idk how it comes across but yeah I was trying to toe the line between it being interesting/different and then going too far and not being able to write around it which is why the plot kind of fixes itself quick and is a leeeetle bit bad but there's some unresolved bitterness in that relationship for sure lmao she has a LOT 2 say!! did I mention there's angst in here? insecurity/self-doubt and miscommunication!!! in abundance!!! but!! luke is a cutey patootie in this I wrote his part with a lil smile on my face 💖 also a ridiculous conversation about huffing glue lmao

Series Masterlist

Previous Part (Chapter Four)

A/N: ok so in the grand scheme of things this is both a filler chapter and also like a pivotal point in the story to set something later up, but when I was planning this entire fic out, the only directive I gave myself for this specific chapter was insert angst. you wouldn't believe the amount of times I've written and rewritten and gone back and forth on what's in here. it's the kind of instruction only a complete melon would give themselves and I clearly just hate myself in ways that are spooky and strange to submit myself to this kind of torture.

and I hear your cries of hasn’t this fic just been angst so far??? yes!! you may be correct!! but you don’t get a rainbow without a bit of rain hun!!! grab an umbrella!!! I promise good will come of this lmao

I'm sorry this one took so long, it's the only chapter I didn't have any kind of plan or direction for obviously and I tried to come up with so many different options for the talia plot before I landed on whatever this is, but the next one I do have some scenes written out in my plan so shouldn't be as long in between. my goal has always been a chapter a week but like I said the other day work has been a lot for me the past couple of weeks so I am genuinely sorry for making you wait!!

you guys were very fun and very kind to me after the last chapter so please please please lets keep the good vibes going come chat to me about your thoughts about the fic about the weather about anything!! 💓

Nico

When Nico and Talia had first started dating, there had been an element of excitement to the dynamic. Nico hadn’t properly dated anyone in a while - had casual flings here and there, and for the most part spent his time swallowing down his burgeoning feelings for his best friend - and there was a novelty to starting something with someone new.

He had all the intentions of building something serious with her. She was fun, got on with his friends, had ties close to home that meant he wouldn’t be putting a wedge between the two of them should he want to travel back in his breaks, and sinking his teeth into the challenges of a relationship was something that actually intrigued him.

He liked planning dates, liked buying gifts to see that buzz of joy and gratitude it would elicit, and he liked the companionship - liked having someone there when he came back from a long roadie or a tough string of games. 

He liked it so much he never really opened his eyes to the fact that Talia didn’t. 

She didn’t like the dates he planned - didn’t like the restaurants he chose, the movies he wanted to share with her, the bars him and the guys frequented. She didn’t like America, didn’t like their coffee shops, thought their pastries were packed with too much sugar, their portion sizes were too large for her ever to enjoy going for lunch, always complaining about feeling bloated and sluggish after every meal. She hated Jersey - wanted to spend all her time across the Hudson, looking down on everyone she met and everywhere they went together. She didn’t make much use of the gifts he bought her - let every bouquet of flowers die a quick, careless death, said the watch he bought her didn’t go with enough of her other jewellery and turned her nose up at every effort he made to make his apartment feel more like her home. 

She wasn’t all that comforting when it came to companionship, either. Rolled her eyes when he came home aching and exhausted, went out without him on the days he was coming back from a roadie and returned home when he had long retired to his bed. She would always want to meet up with her girlfriends instead of hanging around the team, and only ever wanted to come to games if she could bring her own entourage - mostly to show off her connections and hardly ever to actually support him.

And so, despite the initial attraction, despite the excitement that first came with their blossoming relationship, Nico can only look at Talia with disinterest and frigidity now.

He barely greets her as he opens the door to his apartment, moving aside to let her in and waiting for her to trudge her small case in behind her before he closes it, leaning against the surface and watching her discard her bag and keys on the counter with familiarity.

When she turns to face him, running a hand through her hair and huffing out a big sigh, he takes in her dishevelled appearance.

Even when travelling, Talia usually takes great pride in her pristine exterior - hair blow-dried, outfit co-ordinated and steam-pressed to perfection, not a crease or stain in sight, and usually a light layer of makeup to cover the slight imperfections like the darkened under eyes and redness around her nose. This isn’t like her.

She looks like she’s been messing with her hair the whole 8 hour flight out and beyond, her eyes are rimmed-red with smudges of brown at the corners, her lips are chapped and swollen like she’s been crying, and her sweatpants don’t match her hoodie. It’s almost like she’d thrown on whatever she could find and caught the first flight out, fresh out of bed.

“What’s going on?” He cuts straight to the chase, losing all formality and courtesy. He should feel bad for his callous greeting, but she had broken up with him over text not even a month ago - she doesn’t exactly deserve outstretched arms and a warm embrace, he thinks.

“Hi Talia, how have you been, Talia? It’s nice to see you Talia.” She mocks, a frown overtaking her features immediately. “I’m absolutely amazing, thanks for caring, Nico!” Sarcasm spews from her tongue like pure venom, and his eyes practically roll into the back of his head.

Nico pushes himself off of the door, heavy footsteps leading him into his kitchen where he can make himself a coffee to get through this. His watch reads 6:05 - far too early for her antics - and rising to her nagging is only going to make things worse.

“Do you want a drink?” He asks, as he busies himself with his coffee press, unable to look at her too long without the pricks of guilt irritating him.  He doesn’t even know what he has to feel guilty about.

“I’ll get it myself,” she scoffs, venturing over to the fridge and pouring out some orange juice - her movements around his space eerily natural. She slams back most of the drink as he works out how to brew his coffee - but she sees right through him. He’s hardly ever used the press before, and he’s just doing so now to avoid her in whatever capacity he can. “I need money.”

Nico’s almost positive he hasn’t heard her right - that there’s some kind of mix up between her standard German and his Swiss - and he slowly turns to properly face her, brows slanting into a deep frown as he assesses her expression.

She has a hand on her hip, her jaw set and her eyes darkened and serious. 

“You have money.”

Talia comes from money - her father is some kind of film producer and her mother an artist, if Nico remembers correctly - and she makes good money, herself. She’s been a print model since she was scouted in some market in Munich since she was 15, has had her face plastered in ads in magazines and catalogues around the world. She’s hardly strapped for cash. She gets things gifted to her by whatever company she can get a hold of. What could she possibly need him to give her money for?

“Not enough.” Her tone is cold, her demeanour the same, and if Nico can still gauge her emotions correctly, there’s an element of blame that she is starting to shift towards him, and his whole body starts to feel tense.

“Not enough for what?”

He can’t quite tell what feeling washes over him - worry, at the thought she’s gotten herself into some kind of trouble, stress, at the thought this could be a recurring thing, and potentially pity, at the way she’s so clearly carrying the weight of something heavy - something she’s lugged all the way across the Atlantic on a long haul flight with her.

“Not enough to pay the guy who’s blackmailing me not to leak the videos that I sent to you.”

“What vide-“ he bites back, and the immediate arch of her brow tells him all he needs to know. “Oh.”

Shit.

“Oh? That’s all you have to say?” She sneers, fury in her gaze and dismay in her tone. “You’ve ruined my life, and all I get is an oh?”

“Whoa, slow down, I’ve ruined your life?”

Nico has never been one to shame any girl for sending explicit pictures - he’d been more than willing to receive them at the time - but he hadn’t ever forced her hand. He hadn’t even asked her for them, in the first place. 

She’d taken it upon herself to spice things up, as she had put it at the time, when the team had gone on the road in early December. It was just after he’d returned from his injury - a time in which he’d spent mentally distanced from her as he’d focused so much on getting back to the game, their relationship consisting mainly of not-so-passionate sex to avoid aggravating his injury and hardly of any kind of meaningful conversation - and she had thought that keeping him on his toes on a roadie would mean he’d come back more interested than ever.

If he’d been looking out for red flags at the time, he might have caught that blaring one; needing to try new things only a few months into a relationship to keep it fun and light.

He’d been in his hotel room in Seattle, freshly showered and ready to throw himself straight into bed when his phone had started to ping. It was suggestive texts at first, are you alone? And I’m thinking about you. Then it had been pictures, hands over lingerie and fingers between glossy, pouted lips.

And then videos, one after the other before he had any chance to respond - her phone set up far enough away that her whole body was in frame, touching herself while laying on his bed and calling out for him.

He had called her instead of sending anything back, and as he realises the severity of the situation, a selfish part of him is glad he did so.

“Talia, I didn’t even save those videos, and I definitely didn’t show them to anyone else.”

Nico could never. Not only for the fact that he was raised to be a decent human being, but he has a sister - if anyone ever did that to Nina, he’d tear them apart, limb from limb. 

“You’re the only person I’ve ever sent anything to.” She seems to have made her mind up, and Nico feels as if his heart plummets through his torso at the realisation. She’s travelled all this way because she genuinely believes he’s the cause of this - that he’s shared intimate videos of her without her consent, to someone who would extort her for them. “And he sent me some pictures as proof, had information about me like the address of this apartment.”

“Talia, I swear on my mother’s life, I wouldn’t do that to you - to anyone, not ever.”

Tears well in her crystalline eyes, and Nico waits with bated breath as she assesses the situation in her head. 

He isn’t a liar - he has never given her a reason to think he is one. In their time together, he had always been honest, always been loyal, and he hopes at the very least - despite her obvious distain for him now, and how little she ended up caring about their relationship in the end to cut it off in the way she did - she thought of him as kind. 

He can do nothing but be patient, let her come to whatever conclusion on her own, and it’s only when he spots the quiver in her bottom lip that he takes an apprehensive step forward, ready to console her if needed.

She practically throws herself into his arms, wrapping her own around his waist and bawling into his chest, and all he can do is hold her and wait. He tries to rub a soothing hand up and down her back, holding the other against her head as her body wracks with sobs. All he can feel is the pounding of his own heartbeat, pulsing throughout his entire body until it’s all he can hear, too.

Nico does his best to comfort her, shushing and cooing and whispering how it’s going to be alright, but it does little to help. She’s beyond relief.

“There’s a guy who said he can track whoever is doing this to me,” she sniffles as she pulls herself away. “He’s in Jersey City Heights, he’s some sort of ethical hacker, whatever that means, I’m going to meet him and he’s gonna go through my phone.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Nico doesn’t even hesitate to ask - if not to protect her, and make sure she isn’t unknowingly getting herself into an even more dangerous situation, then to protect himself too. If someone has Talia’s pictures, and she only sent them to him, there’s a possibility his phone had been hacked, and if this guy is as ethical as he says, maybe he can check Nico’s stuff, too, just to be safe.

She gives him an appreciative smile, eyes still glassy and cheeks flushed. “I’d really appreciate that.”

“I’m gonna shower, then we can go. You can grab whatever to eat while you’re waiting.” He backs away from her completely, only just able to acknowledge the ache in his muscles once the intensity of the situation has settled a little, and he just needs to stand under the steaming spray and clear his mind before he properly immerses himself in her company. 

He has a lot more than this whole mess that he needs to think about, and maybe a shower can bring him a little clarity on how exactly he’s going to explain himself to the beautiful girl whose bed he had abruptly left not even an hour ago. 

“Why are you dressed?”

Nico stops in his tracks.

When he had got back to his apartment, he’d made a little effort for it to seem like he’d been there all night. He’d gone through to his bedroom, mussed up his sheets to make it seem like he had been sleeping in them - and not with the anticipation that Talia was going to be entering his bedroom, but with her, he never knows - trying to retrace the steps of his usual routine before he goes to bed, he had closed all the blinds, had moved his gym bag by the door.

But he hadn’t changed.

Still adorned in his sweatshirt and jeans from the night before, the clothing feels all that much heavier on his body as she brings attention to it, and he quickly racks his brain to come up with a valid excuse that doesn’t rouse further suspicion.

“I fell asleep in these clothes.” As easy as the lie comes out, he doesn’t feel great saying it. Doesn’t feel like erasing the night he had shared with Poppy is for the greater good, even if it is just to Talia, but avoiding another difficult conversation is a must right now - especially when he’d already lied to her on the phone. “Was out late with the guys last night, Timo threw a party for my birthday.”

“Right,” she drags out, and when he turns back around, she casts a scrutinising glance over him, top to bottom. “Sorry, I forgot.”

“No worries,” he shrugs, genuinely not offended. She has no reason to remember his birthday. Not anymore. “Like I said, help yourself to whatever, I’ll try not to be long.” 

When he undresses for his shower, he’s thankful he hadn’t had the foresight to change in anticipation of Talia’s arrival. He probably would have donned a t-shirt and some shorts, oblivious to the visible indents on his thighs where Poppy had dug her nails in as she took him in her mouth.

His chest and torso are littered with scratches, some faint, some a little deeper, and he can’t get the right angle to see his back but he imagines they’re the same - the memory of her clutching at him as both of their climaxes approached is vivid enough for him to picture the marks she left behind.

He groans as the thought of her brings back that swirling feeling in the pit of his stomach, as he notices the blooming arousal pool there, and feels himself harden as he steps under the spray of his shower.

If his phone had been on do not disturb through the night, he could be in the shower with Poppy, instead.

He could have woken up to her in his arms, could have pecked at her sleep-swollen lips until it brought her out of her slumber, and spent his morning making up for lost time just like he had promised her last night. He could have made light work of the pleasure he had given her the night before - could have had her underneath him in her bed, tangled up in the mess of sheets and falling apart before they shared a morning shower, where he’d have held her up against the tiles and would’ve moved into her until they couldn’t tell where he ended and she began. He’d have made her breakfast, something sweet, so that as she sat and watched him atop the kitchen counter he had tasted her on for the first time not even 12 hours before, he’d press his tongue into her mouth after she had eaten and savour the flavour of strawberries that had settled between her lips.

Instead, he’s here, turning the temperature of his water down until any and all excitement in his body is dampened, and all he can focus on is the effect the cold has on all his other aching muscles.

Once he has showered and gotten dressed - and has come to the conclusion that any further thoughts about Poppy need to wait until the Talia problem is resolved and out of his hands, he finds his ex girlfriend sprawled across his couch, music playing from the speaker in the corner, and taking helping herself to a whole new level. 

Her case is opened where she had left it by the door, and she’s set herself a little vanity up on his coffee table, fixing her appearance before they leave.

She’s changed out of her mismatched sweats, has dressed herself in jeans and a sweater, and has found an extension cable long enough for her to plug in whatever hot tool she’s currently running through her hair.

“You take the longest showers in the history of man,” she rolls her eyes, not even casting a glance his way as she focuses on her own reflection in the little mirror she must have brought with her. “I do not want to know what it is you get up to in there.”

“I was barely 30 minutes, are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, almost,” she runs the tool through her bangs until they flick out at the edges on either side of her face, and it reminds him of all the times he had watched her while waiting for her to finish getting ready. It makes him feel uneasy how familiar it all is, how she’s so quickly made herself at home again in his space.

He wants to tell her she needs to pack her stuff back up, that she won’t be staying here and needs to give his keys back, but the weight of the situation at hand dawns on him before he can open his mouth.

He’ll wait until they get back later, his decision depending on the outcome of their visit to her hacker friend.

As much as he doesn’t want her around, he isn’t going to kick her out with no place to go if her life is still shrouded in unsafe circumstances. 

Talia unplugs her stuff, wraps the cord around the handle of the brush she was using, and places it on a mat she must have brought with her so it doesn’t burn through the surface of the table. “Kay, let’s go.”

She marches ahead of him, picking up her bag and keys on the way out and leaving him to lock up while she calls for the elevator. They wait together in silence, his heart thudding an anxious rhythm in his chest as he anticipates the arrival of the elevator - and thankfully, it arrives empty.

He tries to distance himself from her as they enter, him standing in one corner, and hoping she takes the other, but she doesn’t quite get the memo, standing obliviously in the centre as she types away to someone on her phone and he presses the button to go to the basement.

Nico watches the numbers go down with bated breath. His floor, the next, the next one after that, and he uses any good will he has left with the universe to hope and pray it skips the floor coming up - but, as is just his luck, the elevator comes to a stop with a soft thud, and the doors open to reveal the very situation he’s been hoping to avoid. 

Jack walks straight in, eyes cast down to the phone in his hands, distractedly typing away and not even noticing the button for the parking level has been pressed before he pushes it, himself.

Luke notices straight away, halting in his movements to enter the space as his gaze flickers between the two people already occupying it. 

He diverts his eyes when they meet Nico’s head dropping as he steps in and stands beside his brother, uttering a quick greeting of, “Hey, Cap.”

Jack’s attention is captured immediately, spinning at an almost dizzying speed to face his captain, phone disregarded into his back pocket. “Schao! I thought you’d be at-,”

He’s thankfully able to tune into his perception before he carries on with his train of thought, a subtle movement in his peripheral diverting his gaze to the figure stood to the side of Nico. 

“Talia. Hi.”

“Hi, Jack.” Nico cringes inwardly at how disinterested she sounds. “Luke.” Talia had never really cared for Nico’s teammates - especially not the younger guys like Jack and Luke. She was quick to pass judgement, making comments on their maturity, or apparent lack-thereof, and wasn’t the biggest fan of how close Nico was with the pair. Didn’t like the time or attention he gave them considering the close quarters they lived in, and had always been resentful. She always claimed her English wasn’t good enough to hold a proper conversation with them, but he’d seen her enough around her American friends to know it wasn’t true.

“We’re just meeting up with some of the guys for breakfast.” Jack says, cautiously, in an attempt to fill the silence. The invitation remains unspoken, but Nico can tell in the way the younger boy cocks his head and meets his eye that he’s gauging his current situation for the morning.

“We have plans.” Talia must be able to tell what he was getting at, too and Nico can see Luke’s eyes narrow as soon as the word resonates in his head. Plans. Pre-meditated. Made before she had sprung all of this on him within the last hour or two. Panic stirs within him, and his throat itches to speak the truth, but it’s just not the right time to do so with Talia stood beside him. If he starts getting defensive, she’ll start asking questions, and the boys will have to bear witness to him skirting around the matter of Poppy. 

It’s not a good look no matter which way he swings it. He’s stuck in a thick, dark, tarry mess of not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings but making all the wrong decisions. A minefield of not knowing how to explain himself without raising a million questions on either side, and hoping one of the brothers might toe the line of the boundaries of their relationship and just straight up ask why Talia is here.

He knows he has fucked up without the way neither of them are looking him in the eye.

He knew it the second Poppy’s door had locked behind him this morning - he doesn’t need Luke refusing to meet his gaze, doesn’t need Jack’s shifting side eye to tell him he’s made a mistake. 

“I’ll text you later.” Nico says, mainly to Jack but still trying to meet his brother’s eyes with no luck. It’s an attempt to say something, without saying anything. A silent beg not to jump to conclusions about what they’ve seen - and, although he knows they wouldn’t, not to tell anyone else. Not whichever of the guys they are meeting up with, not anyone else on the team, and definitely not Poppy.

“Yeah, sure,” Jack mutters in a poor attempt to hide his discomfort, and an even worse attempt at masking his relief when the doors ping open on the parking level.

“Have fun with your plans,” Luke huffs out, his tone like a tight fist clutching at Nico’s chest despite his courteous choice of words.

“We will,” Talia forces a smile. Nico gets the feeling she isn’t as oblivious to the tension as he hopes she is.

The four of them separate into their pairs with mumbled goodbyes, Jack and Luke heading off to Luke’s car on one side of the garage, and Nico and Talia heading to his on the other, and Nico can’t even let out a sigh of pseudo-relief before Talia jumps on him.

“That was weird.”

“We broke up, they weren’t expecting to see us together.” He quickly excuses as he starts the car up, turning on the heat and hoping the soft buzz of the air will fill the silence enough that she doesn’t feel the need to talk. 

“It’s been like 3 weeks, most couples get back together after their first breakup.”

Has it only been 3 weeks? He thinks, shuddering at how little time had actually passed between her sending that text and him restoring balance to his life.

“We’re not most couples,” he shrugs, shutting that train of thought immediately as he starts to make his way out of the parking garage, ascending the ramp where the doors open up to reveal the dull beam of the winter morning sun. “You dumped me over text a week before Christmas, we’re not getting back together.”

“Oh yeah, I bet you were real cut up about it,” she jibes, sarcastically. “Probably landed straight in the bed of some desperate puck bunny more than happy to take your mind off of how awful I was to you.”

His mind immediately goes to Poppy, to last night, to her bed - and despite the complete bullshit Talia has fabricated in her head, despite how much he wants to tell her she has it all wrong, he can’t bear to twist himself even further into knots to skirt around mentioning the girl who did make him better.

“We’re not having this conversation right now.” He decides, tapping at the screen in the console of his car until he brings up the navigation. “Put in the address you need, we’re not too far from The Heights.”

The location she enters into the system is for an unassuming condo in a quiet, suburban area. The neighbourhood itself is picturesque, the buildings colourful, the paths lined with trees that seemed to flourish even in the midst of winter, and when Nico pulls up across the street, he notices the amount of families around - parents walking their kids to school and couples with dogs getting their morning steps in. It’s the last place he imagines some hacker to be shacked up, but maybe that’s the point.

He still doesn’t entirely understand the ethical part.

“It’s the one with the red brick and the balcony,” Talia points to the other side of the road as she unbuckles her seatbelt, and Nico looks over at the building as if he’s going to be able to see all the secrets stored within it.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, number 414.” She shows him the messages she has exchanged with the guy, and sure enough, the address matches up. “C’mon, the sooner we get in there, the sooner we can figure this out.”

He follows her across the street, adjusting the cap he wears atop his head and making sure it conceals his identity from anyone with eyesight good enough to catch it, trying to shrug off the discomfort of the whole situation as he waits for someone to pick up the buzzer Talia relentlessly presses.

He hears a different kind of buzz, lighter, like the manual zoom of a camera, and cranes his neck to assess their surroundings as they wait, before he catches sight of the device in the top corner of the porch, facing directly onto them.

He hears the click of a lock as soon as his eyes make contact with the thing, and cautiously tries the handle on the door until it pushes all the way down, letting them into the building. 

The door to the ground floor condo is open, and stood in the entrance is a guy no older than 20, dressed in all black with dark, beady eyes framed by wire-rimmed glasses. If Nico could find it in him to see the humour in the situation, he’d laugh at how he looks like Luke - a mop of curly brown hair, tall with a slim build and ever so slightly poor posture.

He straightens up as the two of them approach, Nico keeping Talia behind him as he assesses the safety of the situation. If they’re being lured into some kind of trap, he could definitely take this guy - he can’t even maintain direct eye contact, never mind manage to subdue a man of Nico’s stature.

“You didn’t tell me you were bringing someone, Talia.”

He’s soft-spoken, his voice ever so nasally, and despite the fact that he’s talking to the girl behind him, his gaze has settled on Nico’s chest.

“My name’s Nico.” He introduces himself, holding out a hand to shake. He thinks he can write him off as a threat, for now, and if making him feel comfortable encourages him to help them, he wants to put him at ease. “

“I know who you are.” He doesn’t shake Nico’s hand. “I’m Myles. Come in.”

Myles doesn’t wait for the two of them, marching back into his place and leaving the door open for Talia and Nico to enter and close behind them. 

Nico isn’t surprised by the space - from his brief encounter with the resident so far, it fits him to a tee; neat, impersonal, furniture that looks fresh out of a catalogue. He follows him over to the corner of his living room, a PC set up with several monitors that he can’t tell are on until they’re standing straight in front of them.

Myles throws himself down into the large swivel chair, spinning until he’s facing the two of them and crossing his arms over his torso with disinterest. “So, nudes?”

Straight to the point. Nico can’t exactly be mad at it.

Talia steps out from behind him, handing her unlocked phone to Myles. “The messages started last week, just after New Years. Straight to my number, not in DMs or anything, but the number doesn’t even come up for me to call it from another phone or anything, just says unknown.”

Myles takes her phone and plugs it into his setup without even looking at whatever she has opened on it, and Nico watches as the screens come alive with mirrors of the device and some other apps that launch as soon as it connects. 

“That’s more helpful than you think, they have to use an app to be able to anonymously text you, makes it easier to identify them.”

The way Myles talks is monotonous and detached, but the way he works is anything but. His fingers move quicker than Nico’s eyes can track on his keyboard, typing away at whatever as different things flash up and leave his screen. It like something straight out of a spy movie.

“So we can find out who it is just from that?” He asks, arms folding over his chest as he watches in almost-awe.

“Not exactly. If it is a hacker, I could identify their signature. Doesn’t mean I could identify them, but we can work around it potentially.”

Talia throws herself down on the couch behind them exasperatedly, sighing loudly and making her displeasure known. “You told me you could track them down, that’s what I’m paying you to do.”

“I told you I could help you, I didn’t say I could specifically track anyone, that’s not how this works.”

“How does it work then?” Nico asks.

Myles wheels his chair to the side to make room for Nico to get closer, and starts walking him through the process, pointing through the different apps he uses and explaining how he uses them. One deciphers which app the person used to message Talia. Once that’s been deduced, he uses another to enter a backdoor into that app’s servers, perusing through them until he finds the account that sent the text, making sure the date, time and then content line up. Once he’s found the account, he can see the other texts sent from it, and a gallery spreads across two screens, with maybe hundreds of pictures, videos, messages and transactions all to or from that same account.

“You’re telling me you have the power to do all this and you don’t use it to like rob banks or something?”

“Ethical hacker, clue’s in the name.” Myles shrugs. Nico looks back to Talia, her jaw set as she picks at her nails out of boredom. It’s probably taken about fifteen minutes for this guy to work an absolute miracle, and she looks like she couldn’t care less. “We use all this information, and the access I have on the server, to shut this dude down and cut his con before he can do it to anyone else.”

“Whoa whoa,” Talia shoots up, “Won’t that make him mad? Make him just post all the photos?”

“I doubt it,” the hacker comments, bringing up a couple of the photos on the screens, some of Talia, some of another girl, making Nico divert his eyes. “They’re not even real.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Excuse me?”

Talia and Nico both question at the same time, leaning in to get a proper look to confirm what is being told to them. The other pictures Myles had brought up, the ones of other girls, are actually kind of the same. The same poses, the same backgrounds, the same outfits, or lack thereof, just different faces and different hair.

“They’re called deep fakes. Photoshop, essentially.” He has that aloof tone to his words again, and Nico can’t quite believe how simple it seems for him to say. “They put a bunch of your pictures into an AI generator and give it instruction, like put this face on a body posed like this or wearing that. I’d assume the video they have is the same.”

“How is that even possible?” Talia gasps, pushing herself forward and snatching the mouse from Myles’ grasp. She clicks into what she assumes is the video, and it starts playing before she can think better of it, thankfully without any sound. 

It’s Talia - that much is obvious from the initial close up of her face - but Nico doesn’t recognise anything else about it. He doesn’t recognise the room she’s in, the bed she’s on, the things she’s doing. He’s never seen this before. It’s definitely not one of the videos she had sent him, and when he looks closer, he realises the little moles on her ribs aren’t even there.

None of it is real.

“You said he sent you the photos? You didn’t realise they weren’t the ones you took?” He can’t conceal the bite in his tone, his brows furrowing as he looks at her in disbelief. She’s flown out here, disrupted his peace, blamed him for blackmailing her, and she can’t even recognise what is or isn’t her own body. 

“They looked real, I-,” Her shock disappears as quickly as it had come about, her mood shifting and a glare all of a sudden being directed at her ex boyfriend. “I wouldn’t have accused you if they didn’t look real, Nico.” She snaps, frowning at him like this is his fault. “You have no idea what it’s like to be threatened like that, I won’t have you blame me for panicking.”

Slivers of guilt seep into his subconscious, and he takes a deep breath, diverting his gaze uneasily and letting out a big sigh.

He knows he should be a little more compassionate, but there’s panicking, and then there’s this.

She had accused him of ruining her life.

“What about the rest of it?” Nico asks, ���Like how did he get her number or have my address? You said he had other information?”

“He did,” Talia nods, looking over to Myles.

“The address he probably got when he got your number, and he could have got that from anywhere. Could be something as small as you ordering something online and the store having a data breach, or clicking a link that shared your IP address, and getting your phone information from that.” Myles starts his typing again, keeping a tight grip on his mouse so that it can’t be snatched again. “I could probably find out actually, they’re pretty easy to spot, do you clear your history often?”

“I wouldn’t even know how to do that,”

“Perfect,” Again, his fingertips work at lightening speed, and Nico watches as instagram opens on one of the screens. “Yeah, a DM sent to you from… Devils_tea. You opened a link to a shared drive to upload some pictures, the drive probably had malware and the pictures have location metadata.”

Nico rolls his eyes, that small ebb of pity washing almost completely away, and before Talia can stop him, Myles carries on. “Some of the pictures you sent them are the ones they used for the AI photos, look your face in this one is the exact same as this photo they threatened to leak.”

Nico recognises these photos. The ones that had been plastered all over social media when their relationship had leaked. Pictures of them back in Switzerland, on a weekend trip to Ibiza, selfies of them in his apartment, and even a picture of the two of them with his parents back at his family home in Valais.

He has been far too oblivious to Talia’s games for far too long, he realises. 

Of course she had been the one to leak everything - who else would have had those photos - but he hadn’t even considered it would be her; she had faced the harshest aftermath for it, why would she subject herself to all the subsequent grief that came with people knowing about their relationship?

Thank God for this guy’s lack of social cues, Nico thinks, or he would never have known that for as long as they had been together, she had been violating his revered privacy and trust.

“Nico, that wasn’t-,” Talia’s panic is evident, wide eyes, trembling hands raised in defence, “I must have been hacked,”

“Actually, there’s no-,” Myles begins to interject, fingers working again to fact check, but Nico doesn’t need him to validate what he already knows.

“Shut up,” Talia snarls, with a finger pointed at him, “You don’t know what you’re talking about, we’re done here.” She reaches forward to snatch her phone back, yanking out the wire that connects it to his monitors and throwing it onto the desk. “We’re leaving, and if you think I’m paying you anything, you’re deluded.” 

Talia marches past them and straight out of the condo, slamming every door she possibly can behind her. Nico can only cringe as the sounds of her stomping footsteps echo until they fade out - until she’s probably outside and waiting for him back at his car.

“Doesn’t she want me to shut this thing down?”

“I’ll pay you.” Nico sighs, reaching into his pocket for his phone and trying to push down the feeling that arises when he’s met with a blank lock screen.

Poppy hasn’t messaged him. 

Not that he deserves for her to make it easy, to let him off the hook and pretend he hasn’t royally fucked things up with her.

“If you stop him, does he still have all the photos? He could still release them?”

“Yeah, but they’re pretty easy to validate as fakes, especially when you have the source material. I don’t think this guy is sophisticated enough for a full blown hack into her phone for the real thing. I couldn’t find evidence of any breach of her cloud or her device.”

Nico nods, but the information does little to quell the anxiety that squeezes his chest in a vice-like grip. 

This whole morning has been nothing but a giant waste of his time. From the second his eyes opened, to this moment right now, he’s made nothing but mistakes.

Not putting his phone on sleep mode before he and Poppy went to bed had been a mistake. Taking Talia’s call had been a mistake. Not waking Poppy up had been a mistake. Leaving without a note, without a text, leaving at all - it had all been one error after another, and all he has left to do is face up to the fact.

He can’t do anything to dwindle the panic rousing in every fibre of his being, the scarring marks left by torturous lashings of regret that whip at his skin.

He’s never felt so ashamed of himself, in such disbelief at his own decisions.

Why didn’t he just wake her?

She’s the most level-headed, acceptable person he knows. She would have understood. He hadn’t had a reasonable explanation at the time, and he doesn’t really have one now - but she would have accepted it, whatever he could have told her, she would have listened, waited until he could give her more.

He needs to see her, to explain, before it’s too late.

If he thinks about the feeling settling in his stomach, if he can compare it to anything, it’s like running from a blazing inferno of doubt and insecurity, licks of fire racing to catch up to him, the soles of his feet pressing into the sizzling ground - and Poppy is the cool embrace of safety.

She is light cracking through a window he just needs to break through to make it out.

If he can get to her quick enough, if he runs, and runs, maybe he’ll make it before he’s jiggling at a red hot handle that won’t move, won’t give, won’t budge.

If he can just talk to her, maybe the morning from hell will be outweighed by the days of resilience, weeks of efforts, years of loving her in whatever capacity, and the promise of something better.

He just needs to get rid of Talia.

The car journey back to his apartment is carried out in a deafening silence. She had tried to talk to him when he’d made his way out of Myles’ condo, when he had found her waiting by his Mercedes with crossed arms and a sour look on her face, but he’d told her he didn’t want to hear it, that they’d deal with it in private.

He hardly wanted a showdown with her in the middle of the street.

And so, she sat in his passenger seat, jaw set, glaring out the window and letting out the occasional huff or puff for attention that he wasn’t entertaining.

The elevator ride up to his place had been the same. Silent, filled with the type of tension you could cut with a knife, and all he could do was ignore her continued petulance and take deep breaths to calm himself down. In through his nose, out through his mouth, overlooking the way she tapped her foot in his peripheral vision, and almost audibly rolled her eyes every few seconds. 

“Would it have killed you to defend me in there?” She scoffs as soon as the door closes behind them in his apartment, “You just let him accuse me of all that stuff and completely invade my privacy!”

Nico screws his eyes shut and pinches the bridge of his nose.

He can’t blow up, can’t stoop to her level. He won’t feel good after the fact. He knows how Talia operates, should have known she’d immediately play the victim card, and he isn’t falling into the trap of arguing to the point of being in the wrong.

He’ll say something he regrets and she’ll use it to her advantage, somehow.

“You asked him to go through your phone, Talia.” He sighs, making his way over to the kitchen and getting himself some water. Chugging at it does little to soothe the burning feeling prickling at the back of his mouth, or the itch of his tongue to spit out a scathing retort. “He’s shut down the guy behind it, he can’t message you or anyone else with any more threats, you should be happy.”

“I should be happy?” She follows him wherever he tries to get away, crowding his space and jabbing a pointed finger into his arm. “You have no idea what I’ve been going through this past week. I thought my career was over! How was I supposed to know it was fake?”

“You didn’t even look at the pictures-,”

“Because I was panicking! I was upset, you can’t expect me to be able to recognise what’s been photoshopped when I’m scared like that!”

“But you can fly straight over here and pin the blame on me for ruining your life? You weren’t too upset to point the finger, Talia,”

“Don’t be an asshole, Nico, it doesn’t suit you.” 

“I’m being the asshole? You don’t even care about the trail of destruction you leave behind you, do you? You send private pictures of us, of me, of my family to random people online who you don’t even know, for what, Talia? For money?”

“I don’t need their money-,”

“So it was just for the attention? You get to parade our relationship around like it means nothing more to you than a title, and once you get your fifteen minutes and a few more instagram followers, you just jet back home and dump me over a text?”

“Oh my God,” she cries, flailing her arms dramatically, following him yet again as he makes his way into his living room, picking her stuff up after her that she had discarded here before they left and throwing it into her travel bag. “Stop playing the victim, for Christ’s sake, you’re hardly heartbroken over it. I know for a fact you’ve been hooking up with someone, one of the girls messaged me that they saw you leave a party with her on New Years!”

“So that’s what this is?” Nico snaps, pointing to her, to her stuff, “You think I’m moving on so you fly back out here and spring this bullshit on me, try to make me feel bad?”

“You have some nerve, Nico,” Talia scoffs, folding her arms across her chest and levelling him with a darkened glare.

“I have nerve? You’re the one who broke up with me out of nowhere and think that you can just march back here and make demands, Talia, blaming me for something that was entirely your own doing.” He’s getting sick of walking on egg shells around the topic. If she hadn’t have been messaging people she wasn’t supposed to, this would never have happened - it’s no one’s fault but her own, and as harsh as it may be, he wants to wash his hands of the whole thing. “Calling me in the middle of the night, telling me I ruined your life, saying I need to give you money?”

“Out of nowhere?” Of course she would only pick up on that, he thinks. “My God, you are so self-absorbed.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Do you think that dating you is easy?” She questions with a measured step toward him. “Do you think I want to spend my life waiting around for my boyfriend, only for him to only ever come home grumpy,” another step, “Or whiny,” and another, “Or too tired and achey to do anything? And that’s when you do come home at all and aren’t half way across the country with the communication skills of a candle. It’s a constant uphill battle trying to get even a second of your attention, Nico, so God forbid I tried to gain some kind of advantage from being with you.”

Her words are starting to cut, but he tries not to react, tries not to bite back. He can count several ways in which she gained an advantage being with him, just off the top of the head - a girl like Talia is never shy of attention. Her courting gossip blogs and sending them private information is probably just scraping the barrel of the ploys she made for exposure while she was with him.

“I didn’t break up with you out of nowhere, I put up with you and the whole circus that comes with you for months, but God, is it exhausting being with you.”

“You knew what you were getting into, Talia. You knew my job, knew my life.” They had met initially through mutual friends - hockey friends of his back home, even - and she has other friends who happen to be wives or girlfriends of athletes. She can’t say she came into the relationship completely oblivious to the downsides of dating a professional player.

“Not really,” she shrugs, “All the other guys can find some sort of balance, but not you. All the other girls get a proper boyfriend, someone who spends time doing what they want to do, who sticks up for them when their psycho fans start to turn on them, who doesn’t keep them hidden away like some dirty secret.”

“That isn’t fair, I can’t control that stuff, Talia, it’s not my fault.” He wants to point out that she was the one engaging in their gossip and riling them up, but he can’t keep harping on about something she refuses to acknowledge. He doesn’t have the time, patience or energy for it anymore.

The initial ‘leaking’ of their relationship had caused their first major fight. Fans online had somehow - although Nico can now hazard a guess as to how - found out about the two of them, had dug into Talia, her background, her family, her job, and had found some pretty toxic posts on her social media. They had been old posts, and she had told Nico that wasn’t the kind of person she was anymore - and he had no reason not to believe her, had never seen or heard her act in the ways she had online in what she called her misguided youth - but someone in the PR department at the Devils had cottoned onto the topic, and had warned Nico of speaking out in her defence when the pitchforks started to raise.

He’d told her he supported her, but he couldn’t do so publicly - not without upsetting people within the organisation he had worked so hard to gain the respect of - and she had told him she understood. They hadn’t been together that long, it would have been a little unreasonable for him to put her above his work in the ways she was expecting, but she clearly doesn’t see it that way, now.

“Maybe not, but if I’d have known that being with you meant having my life invaded, my career ruined, I never would have followed you back here, Nico.” She sounds more solemn now - regretful, even - and as deep as her words cut, she says it like a piece of advice, “I just hope whatever poor girl you’ve got tangled up in your mess this time knows what she’s getting herself into.”

“And what’s that?” His throat feels tight as he speaks all of a sudden, his resolve in defending himself fading, and he tries to gulp down whatever lump is forming there but the feeling doesn’t budge.

This is what she’s good at.

Turning the tables. Reducing him to uncertainty of himself, of his actions, of his memory of their time together.

“A one-sided relationship with a guy who will never be able to put her first.”

There’s a point in every game he has ever had the misfortune of losing, as the seconds count down in the final third, where he has to come to terms with the fact that there’s no possible way for him to win. It’s sort of comparable to the way his insides churn when he’s on a plane and it drops into descent, like his body is falling at a different speed to his surroundings, or the feeling he gets in his gut when he’s hiking, and he dares to take a peek over the edge of whatever mountainside he’s trekking up, where his body can predict the fall, and his mind has set on there being nothing he can do about it.

This feels like all those feelings.

“Whoever she is, and I know she exists, she doesn’t deserve that. It’s not fair.”

Nico’s heart pounds in his chest, echoing and thrumming in his ears until all he can hear is the beat reverberating, ricocheting around his skull.

He can put Poppy first.

So many parts of their lives are intertwined, it would be so easy to make it work. They work together, they live close, he speaks to her more than he speaks to anyone else in his circle. They’ve spent more time together as friends than he has with any other girlfriend he’s had.

He’s wanted her for years, of course he can do it.

Except, deep down, he knows he can’t. Being in a committed relationship with someone is an entirely different ball game to a friendship, no matter how close he and Poppy have been over the years.

He knows there’ll come a point soon into the season where he has to knuckle down and focus, can’t let anything or anyone distract him, and he’ll close himself off. It’s what he has always done. He gets in his head, starts to carry too much weight that he can’t shift until that final buzzer blows - and he can only hope that it happens with his team in the playoffs. Winning, thriving, succeeding. And for that to happen, he can’t prioritise anything other than the game he’s already dedicated his life to, his training, and most importantly, his team.

It isn’t about what he wants.

What have you done? He thinks, his chest aching.

Talia is right.

Poppy doesn’t deserve that.

She doesn’t deserve him only being there in the physical sense, if she even gets that at all. Doesn’t deserve him getting snappy and stressed, doesn’t deserve him not being able to give her time, or give her attention or affection like he wants to, or like she’s worthy of.

“I need to go.” He manages to choke out with a shake of his head, shouldering past her to pick up his jacket - needing to be out of this conversation and away from Talia. “Leave the keys, I don’t want you here when I get back.”

He needs to see Poppy.

He never should have left her - he wishes with everything in him that he had soaked up the time he had with her before everything came tumbling down around him. And somewhere deep within him, there is a fragile, wilting piece of hope that clings to the belief he can make things right. He just needs her to hone in on it. If anyone can reach into the deepest cracks of his insecurities, can show him he’s overthinking things and everything is not as hopeless as he has made it out to be, it will be Poppy.

Poppy

The first time Poppy had ever fallen asleep beside Nico was at a movie night in Jack’s old apartment he shared with Ty Smith. Jack had invited more people round than could reasonably fit in their living room, and so everyone was smushed in - each chair and every inch of floor space used to its full capacity. 

Nico had attempted to save Poppy a space, to give him credit. He had scowled at each of his teammates who tried to throw themselves down in the tiny slot beside him - prime space, corner of the comfiest couch, facing the tv directly, a small table to the side where one could keep their drinks and snacks - only, by the time Poppy got there, he had barely gotten away with man-spreading to make room, so the small section of the couch between Nico and the arm rest had become her designated spot.

It was cosy, to put it nicely. He had to swing his arm over the back so that she wasn’t being assaulted by the hard dig of his shoulder with every laugh, and her closest leg was pretty much on top of his for most of the film.

She’d known the guys for almost a year - had been working in media, attending every game, home and away, and had integrated herself into the group pretty closely - and she felt pretty comfortable around everyone.

It wasn’t the kind of dynamic she had anticipated falling into when she first got the job with the Devils. She was supposed to start getting serious about her life - cracking down on mingling with co-workers and throwing herself into new social circles, and focusing on building a career for herself, climbing through the ranks and attaining the kind of success and happiness she could shove in her family’s disapproving faces - but the guys had charmed her.

Jack had been somewhat relentless in his pursuit of Poppy’s friendship. He rarely took no for an answer when it came to inviting her out. He was new to New Jersey - a much younger player in a slightly older team - and his rookie season had been rough, so it came naturally to Poppy to want to provide comfort. She introduced him to some of her friends, showed him her favourite spots close to his apartment, found him a decent barber, picked up extra fruit whenever she went to the farmers market near her parent’s house and took it over to his and Ty’s place when she came back home so she could mother him into having his 5-a-day as if he didn’t have access to the best nutrition coaches in the country. Despite her best efforts, Jack had weaselled his way under her skin in the way only a brother could.

Nico’s charm was entirely different.

Nico’s charm came in the form of convenience at first - in the oh I live that way, I can drive you and I have some time, I can do some media stuff for you type of way. Convenience blended into companionship - I haven’t eaten either, we should go for lunch together and I’ve been wanting to watch that movie, do you want to watch it with me?

It turned into grabbing food together, even on days neither of them were working - breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, even coffee or sometimes drinks if they could meet up with the rest of the team. It turned into him spending time at her place, whether it was helping her paint her apartment, putting up her new wardrobes, or just binging whatever crazy long series Poppy had decided to start over from the beginning - she provided him with a sense of familiarity and calm he couldn’t really find in anyone else he had met in his time in the states. She became his person, his home away from home, away from home.

And he became hers. 

There wasn’t as much she had to escape; her job not as strenuous, the expectations of her not as high, but when things built up for her - when her mother became overbearing, or her latest endeavour into a relationship crashed and burned - Nico was there. He’d make sure she had a distraction, made sure she was looking after herself, and, in turn, would look after her as well. He made sure she got home safe on nights out, or when they returned from a roadie and landed late - he would always make sure to see her off into the comfort of her own home before he went back to his own. 

And that first time she’d fallen asleep beside him, he’d done the same.

He’d wrapped an arm around her to make her as comfortable as possible for as long as he could, and when the movie had finished - when her face was burrowed into the side of his chest, soft snores falling from between her lips - he gently drew her back to consciousness with his hand stroking at her cheek.

She’d been a little startled, hand shooting up to wipe at her chin and thankful she hadn’t been drooling on him - although with the easy smile he was giving her, she had thought he of all people wouldn’t have minded. 

“Movie’s done, do you need a ride home?” His voice had been low and soft as not to worsen her apparent disorientation, and his hand was still lingering by the side of her face.

She had nodded, blinking away her sleepiness, and working her way up from the couch and onto her feet, stretching out her muscles as Nico did the same.

The two of them bid their goodbyes to the rest of the guys, made their way together to Nico’s car, and he had driven her back to her apartment, chatting on the drive about work and training. 

Poppy had been cramming to prepare for her interview for the Foundation at the time - had been getting herself seriously worked up, staying up late, getting up early, barely allowing herself any time for anything fun - and Nico had seen right through her. 

He’d stopped her before she got out of the car, had held her hand, rubbing at her knuckles with his thumb, and had told her that she should get some proper rest, and that she was going to absolutely rock their world in her interview in a few days time. And, knowing she was going to ignore any instruction he gave to make herself some decent dinner and go to bed early, had ordered her favourite Japanese takeout to be delivered a good half an hour after she got inside, with a text that followed telling her to sleep straight after she had finished.

She’d never expected to drift asleep with him on Jack’s couch - had never expected to open her eyes to the sight of his looking so warmly back at her.

And she hadn’t expected the same thing this morning, because, as her eyes drifted open to the intrusive light peaking through the cracks in her curtains, it wasn’t the first time she had woken up.

The first time had been to subdued movements, a slight groan of her bed frame, and the soft pattering of footsteps leading away. It had been to a hushed voice, the creak of her bathroom door, the flush of a toilet and the uttering of a name she had hoped she would never have to worry about again.

Talia.

The rest of his words had been uttered in his own language, but that she could understand.

She had acted purely on fight or flight instinct, laying back and pretending she was asleep - although as soon as she did, she regretted it, her mind racing at the million and one other possibilities she could have gone with. Sitting up, waiting for him to come out and asking him what was going on being the most rational.

But when had she ever gone with the most rational thought?

She tried not to react as she felt his presence, felt the soft press of his lips to her skin, or the placement of her bunny in her arms. Tried not to follow him as soon as he departed her bedroom, beg him to come back and whatever was going on could wait until the proper turn of the morning. Tried not to get up and go after him when the click of the lock to her main door echoed throughout the empty apartment.

And she tried not to cry as she laid in bed, overthinking herself back to sleep, thoughts racing to the point of exhaustion, and hoping when she woke up again it had just been a god-awful dream.

But it hadn’t.

The spot beside her in bed is empty, not even a crease in the pillow to prove he was ever there - only the t-shirt of his she still adorned, the one that when she takes a deep inhale, still smells like him, and the distinct aching between her thighs.

She finds more evidence of their night together in the bathroom, where she undresses herself with sore muscles and glances in the mirror to see the spattering of purple marks forming on her chest and neck. Her fingers trace over them lightly, her fleeting touch bringing vivid images forth of his lips pressing to her skin, practically able to feel the pressure of her flesh being nipped and bitten again.

He had been so attentive to her - so in tune with what she needed and wanted, and so ready to give her whatever that may be. He’d been gentle at some points, and purposeful at others, and every little thing he did, he did it with sweet disposition.

The kind of man who treats a girl like that doesn’t just leave her in the dead of night with no good reason, right?

Her mind races despite her body going into auto-pilot throughout her morning routine. Her shower is over in the flash of an eye, she strips her bed, starts her laundry, makes herself some tea and gets herself dressed - all the while weighing out all the possibilities of what could have taken him away from her, and what she would be able to understand. 

That quickly turns to her imagining the worst, and a tight, constricting feeling starts to consume her chest. 

There isn’t a single part of her apartment she can get away from the thoughts buzzing around her brain - her kitchen marred with the memory of what had happened on the counter, her couch, her bedroom, her bathroom - all carrying distinct memories of Nico that she needs to bench until she knows the truth.

She mistakenly thinks her escape might lie in her phone. There might be a text there waiting, explaining everything and relieving all the anxiety that has welled up in her very core.

Nia’s warnings from the night before don’t ring quick enough in her mind as the screen comes to life, the immediate barrage of notifications flooding in.

2 missed calls from Mom

Mom: Just calling to remind you of proper table etiquette in case it has slipped your mind, I won’t have you embarrass me in front of a Lyon.

Mom: Cutlery going from the outside in, hold your wine glass by the stem and dab with your napkin, don’t swipe!

Mom: Also let the man tuck your chair in and pay the bill, this 21st century woman nonsense is very unbecoming!

Mom: And I don’t want to have to bring this up but for the love of God, Poppy, have some class. I don’t want to hear mutterings of your promiscuity at the next luncheon.

Whoever taught her mom to text deserves a prison sentence, she thinks.

Tucker Lyon standing a girl up and ghosting her attempts to contact him is what’s unbecoming, not her trying to pay her half of the meal.

She can picture her mother as she reads the texts, sipping on her Manhattan on the couch in the great room, her dad already having retreated to bed at that time, and her having nothing better to do than sit and stew on her daughter’s sex life.

If she knew what was really going down last night, her mom would probably have a conniption.

Knowing she’ll no doubt be getting a call later that evening, Poppy swipes away at her text thread with her mom, immediately checking the notifications she hasn’t long received from her best friend.

Nia: hey if you happen to release yourself from Nico’s wandering hands at all today me and Kelsey are grabbing breakfast by my work!!

Nia: if you need refuelling we’ll be at Marco’s at 9 😘 

Perfect. Therein lies her escape. Breakfast with her best friends, where they can hopefully talk her down from the ledge she’s precariously placed herself on.

A catch up with her girls, and then she can distract herself with work.

Poppy: I’ll be there!!

“Hasn’t he text you or anything?” Nia asks, covering her mouth as she chews on her breakfast bagel, the three girls sat around a table inside their favourite cafe close to Nia’s office.

When Poppy and Nia had first moved in together, they rented an apartment in Hoboken, not too far, and their tradition of grabbing breakfast at Marco’s carried on despite Poppy living further down the river and working even further away in Newark. 

Kelsey had lived in Manhattan at that time, but she stayed over so often with the other girls that she practically spent majority of her week there, and so Poppy and Nia’s routine became hers.

Poppy had given the two of them a brief rundown of her night with Nico, a safe-for-work version of events, all leading up to the mysterious early morning phone call and swift departure.

“Nope,” she sighs, swiping to refresh her messages as if she hasn’t put her phone on loud just to be alerted when he does reach out.

“Have you text him?”

“Nope,” she repeats, putting the phone down and leaning back in her chair, running a hand through her already messed up hair. She’s going to have to throw it up if she wants to look any sort of presentable when she gets to work later.

“Is he usually this pathetic at communicating?” Kelsey asks, manicured nails swiping at a bunch of Sweet’n Lows like she’s trying to play Tetris with the packets. 

Kelsey hasn’t met Nico before, not that Poppy can remember.

Despite considering her one of her closest friends, their personal lives have never quite intertwined like that - not like hers and Nia’s.

In college, things were different. They were coming into their own together, figuring out just what they wanted their personal lives to be, and so Kelsey, Poppy and Nia would all share pretty much everything, just to have someone there to validate their feelings.

But that changed once they graduated.

Kelsey moved in with her boyfriend, Liam - who just so happens to be Poppy’s idea of hell-spawn.

The kind of guy her mother would probably love.

Liam worked on Wall Street, couldn’t go five minutes of conversation without talking about stocks or investment funds. His native language was risky money moves and belittling remarks, and he treated Kelsey like an accessory to parade around in public and discard in private.

Poppy had tried a few times to open Kelsey’s eyes to the way that it was, but it soon became apparent that she had to let her friend make her own mistakes, and some parts of their lives didn’t have to cross over.

They broke up around Thanksgiving, and Poppy had tried with all her might not to show her relief, but it has made her somewhat resentful when it comes to other relationships - like no one can be happy if she isn’t.

She knows it isn’t malicious, but she restrains from letting Kelsey all the way in, all the same.

“Not really,” Poppy lies, not wanting to clue her in on the Big Freezewhere he didn’t speak to her for months on end. It doesn’t entirely help her case. “I just don’t get why he’d sneak out to see her of all people, he told me they weren’t ever that solid, that he wasn’t happy with her.”

“Ooh, what if she’s pregnant?” Kelsey is entirely oblivious to the horrific realm of possibility she has just opened Poppy up to, evidenced by the casual chuckle and subsequent sip of her coffee. “Maybe she’s back to baby-trap him.”

Poppy thinks she would have to flee the state.

Nico is a family guy - if Talia is pregnant, he’d force himself to love her again, if he ever even stopped, for the sake of their gorgeous brown eyed, floppy haired baby, and push Poppy to the side just like he had before. And she’ll have to watch him from the sidelines, yearning for what she had just managed to touch the tips of her fingers to before it was violently yanked from her grasp. 

Maybe she’d have to flee the country even - move somewhere remote where she doesn’t even have the chance of being reminded of hockey, let alone of him.

Somewhere with no coffee shops that she’d enter, and the smell of fresh pastries would remind her of all the breakfasts they had together. No railways, where she’d be reminded of his love for model trains every time she came across the tracks. No weird club music that he loves so much, or dorky wizard franchises he chastises her for never having seen.

Maybe Antarctica. They only have penguins there. No real civilisation that she knows of. No brown haired, dark eyed Swiss Gods with deep, honeyed voices that make her knees weak and dimpled smiles that do even worse.

She wouldn’t be able to cope with losing him like that, living her life in an endless mental cycle of what ifs and maybes.

“Kelsey, I beg of you to read the room,” Nia chastises, swatting the girl on her arm before taking Poppy’s hand in her own. “Don’t listen to her, she just wants us all to be single at the same time.”

“Sue me for wanting to have fun! It would be just like college, you and me full-body plunging into the dating pool. Imagine the chaos, Pop, you don’t wanna be tied down to a guy hung up on his ex right now.”

“Dating pool?” Nia scoffs, turning to glare at her, “You’re hardly dry from your last relationship.”

“I’d rather be a grape than a raisin, Ni.” Kelsey chides back, and Poppy can’t help the twitch of her lips at the horrific comparison. 

“You’re really gonna listen to a girl who says that?” Nia asks, unable to mask the glint of humour in her eyes, and Kelsey bites back a smile, too.

Despite the ache in her chest at the thought of any of it - of Nico leaving her this morning, filling her up with empty words and false promises, potentially knocking up an ex girlfriend he is still secretly hung up on even though he told her otherwise - she manages to crack a full smile.

“You are terrible at analogies, Kels,” Poppy tries to hide the grin behind her cup, sipping at her tea and letting the warmth of it soothe the pain in her throat. 

“I’m trying to encourage you to be a strong, independent woman here!”

“She is a strong, independent woman,” Nia defends, “She also happens to be a chronic over-thinker with a deep seated fear of confrontation.”

“I don’t fear confrontation.”

“Then why are we here chit-chatting about hypothetical scenarios when you could just text him and ask what’s up?”

“Maybe ‘cause that’s scary?” Poppy scoffs, only half joking. “What am I supposed to say, hey I just so happened to eavesdrop on your private conversation before you fled my apartment this morning, and despite me not understanding most of it, I definitely heard you mention someone, so could you just let me know if your gorgeous model ex girlfriend is pregnant with your perfect specimen baby?”

“Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out, you don’t even need us.”

Poppy rolls her eyes.  

She could text him. Could be casual about it, a good morning or even an are you okay? Those don’t warrant the alarm bells she’s afraid of raising - the ones that blare out with the siren sound of run, this girl is unhealthily attached to you already!

But she doesn’t want to be the pathetic girl chasing after the guy sending her clear messages that he doesn’t want her.

It’s easier said than done not to overthink the whole thing - not to second guess everything he had said, or everything she had done last night.

She feels like she had rushed things. It was so impulsive, so charged, and after spending the majority of her week away from him, she just hadn’t been able to help herself. And that makes her feel like a hypocrite. She had told him that night he had first kissed her that things between them had gotten intense. It had been the whole reason for spending a few days outside of each other’s company, and in the first possible instance, she had thrown herself at him.

It was desperate.

And maybe that scared him.

It sure as hell scares her.

“I don’t know what to do,” She groans, throwing her head into her hands and scrunching her eyes shut to try and drown out the endless doubt. 

She feels two hands rub at either sides of her back, “Listen, Pop,” Nia is the first to attempt to console her, as always, and Poppy holds her breath for the harsh reality check she’s about to throw her way. “You know I am the one person who would usually be trying to convince you to cut your losses and run when it comes to guys who are no good, but this is Nico. I’ve watched the two of you ignore your feelings for far too long to let you get in your own way, now.

“And you’re forgetting I saw him last night, before you got there, there isn’t a chance in Hell he would have left you like that without a good reason. I don’t for a second think he’s still hung up on her.” Nia casts a side eye to Kelsey.

The only problem is that Poppy isn’t sure there’s a reason good enough. Not when it comes to Talia. Not when the memory of those months of radio silence is still so fresh for her.

“I have to go to work in a building where his face is plastered everywhere, Ni, I can hardly forget his entire existence until he deems me worthy of an explanation. Who leaves after a night like that without even a note or a text?”

“An idiot,” Kelsey mutters around her drink, rolling her eyes when Nia sends her another death-glare.

“I’m not asking you to forget, I’m telling you to wait.” Nia frowns, but her tone remains consoling and warm. “You need to stop letting what this thinks,” she flicks at Poppy’s forehead, “Get in the way of what this knows.” She points to her chest on the left side. “You know him. You know how much he likes you.”

She does.

She knows Nico, she trusts him.

She can only judge him based on his actions so far - the ones that tell her that he cares. He leads with his heart, it’s his most attractive attribute. He’s gentle and loving and she needs to focus on those things over anything else.

“Ugh, corny,” Kelsey drags, and despite her repeated efforts to discourage her, Poppy knows she isn’t being entirely serious. “If he has any non-stupid hot athlete friends though, I’m first in line when the two of you kiss and make up for double dates.”

Guilt pricks slightly at Poppy’s chest - for making her recently single friend sit here and listen to her complain about something so monumentally small compared to the breakdown of the long-term relationship Kelsey had just endured. Even if it was perceivably toxic.

“You’d make such a good WAG, Kels.”

It’s a poor attempt to make up for it, but it seems to console her friend all the same, a giant grin breaking out and flashing her perfect pearly whites.

“I know.”

Poppy tries to distract herself with work. Tries to make her way through her inbox of seemingly never ending emails and her list of ever-growing tasks. She types up lengthy responses, puts together a presentation, makes a bunch of phone calls she’s been putting off for God knows how long, sorts all her invoices out - she even sends a fax. In the year 2024. It’s her most productive work day she thinks she’s ever had.

She zeroes in on the ground every time she moves through the building. Ignores the pictures that line the walls of the Rock, pushes down the memories of all the times she’s walked these very halls by Nico’s side, and she thinks she’s done just about enough to clear her mind for the time being.

She hasn’t thought up some heart wrenching scenario in at least an hour by the time she’s wrapping up for the day.

She’s making her way back to her office after dropping some files off for Elaine when she catches sight of a mop of curls over the top of the chair by her desk.

Luke is sat in her chair when she enters, swivelling around and staring at the ceiling.

“You’re gonna make yourself sick doing that, you know.”

“You’re such a mom,” he scoffs, standing up and clearly trying not to sway, “You ever tried having fun? I think I saw a glue stick on a table out there,” he points through the door into the wider office space, where there are a few, less private cubicles and a common area. “We should go sniff them, let loose a little.”

“Is that why you’re here on your day off? To huff glue?”

“Yeah, I don’t get to let loose enough. Being a rookie in the NHL is hard, Poppy,”

“Bummer for you.” She pouts, mockingly, swerving past him as he rounds her desk and sits on the other side, flicking at the bobblehead version of his older brother that stands by her computer. “If you’re chasing a high can you do it with one of the other departments, it’s not a good look for the Youth Foundation.”

“I won’t tell if you don’t.”

When Luke had first joined the Devils, she hadn’t expected that she would warm to him the way she has - but, surprisingly enough, considering the fact they’re brothers, their relationship recently has started to mirror her and Jack’s.

Luke is funny. He’s sarcastic and a little silly, and it can be nice to have him around when work gets a little stressful. He doesn’t let the pressures of his own career outweigh those of hers, and, despite the gap in age, she actually enjoys his company.

But he never seeks her out like this.

Their interactions have always started through other people. Group conversations that dwindle to just the two of them, or he usually accompanies Jack to bug her and carries on when Jack’s ever-so-busy schedule takes him elsewhere.

She can’t think of another time he’s just shown up in her office alone.

Especially on his incredibly rare day off.

“Why are you actually here?” She asks, casting a suspicious but half-playful glare his way as she starts to pack up her things. 

“Came to see if you wanted to join us for dinner.”

“Aw Lukey,” she reaches over her desk to pinch his cheek, “I’m flattered and all but I’m a little too old for you.”

“Ha ha,” he swats her hand away, “Us. Me and Jack. Maybe a couple of the others if they’re free but you can pick where we go if you make a decision quickly, we were thinking a steakhouse.”

She narrows her eyes at him, expecting him to crack a joke about her being old, but he just looks back at her awaiting a response. “Why?” She drags out the question, her movements stopping completely.

“Maybe ‘cause humans need sustenance to live? What do you mean, why?”

“Why would you want me to tag along on your bro date?”

“Don’t call it a bro date,” Luke cringes, “Just remembered you were working today and we were in the area, don’t know why you’re being weird about it.”

“You’re being weird. You guys never let me choose where we eat. Don’t you remember that time we grabbed dinner when you guys drove me home and Jack told me to stop being a pussy about my seafood allergy ‘cause he wanted sushi.”

“Don’t blame me for the crimes of my brother, Poppy, he was obviously joking.”

“I had to eat tofu, Luke, I don’t find that very funny.”

“Are you coming or not?”

“That depends, how do you have your steak?”

“Well done.”

“Oh! Then absolutely not.”

“Remind me never to try to be nice to you again.” He scowls as they make their way out of her office, and she locks up behind the two of them.

“Gladly, it’s creeping me out.” She grabs at his elbow before he can carry on, stopping him in the otherwise empty common area where she knows no one is around to listen in. “Is something going on, seriously?”

Luke rolls his eyes, but she knows him well enough that it’s only done in an attempt to avert from her gaze. 

Bingo. He’s hiding something.

“I just thought you might want some company.” He shrugs, shoving his hands into his pockets and twisting his lips to keep from saying much more.

“Why?”

If Poppy wanted to spend her life getting a straight answer out of people for a living, she’d have become an interrogator. What is it with these guys and their inability to answer a simple question?

“Jack said you left the party last night with Nico.”

Poppy’s eyebrows scrunch so close together that she can feel a deep crease form between them. What on earth does that have to do with asking her to dinner? Or being overly nice to her?

Unless-

“You’ve seen him?”

“This morning.”

“Oh.”

All of her efforts from throughout the day seem to have been for nothing - an immediate rush of insecurities flooding her mind.

Where did he see him? What did he say? Was he okay? Was Talia there?

She feels like she can gauge an answer from the way Luke looks. Sheepish, almost, like he doesn’t want to say something he knows will hurt her feelings.

She had to have been with him. He wouldn’t just show up to her office like this if it wasn’t something that would seriously hurt.

She wishes she wasn’t the kind of person who did this - who filled in the gaps of conversations and always came out with the worst possible outcomes - but she can’t help it. She’s been doing it all her life, and there’s rarely ever an instance where her instincts have led her astray.

She knows it’s some weird part of her mind protecting her, but she needs to do something here. Nia’s words from earlier ring like a warning. Don’t let what her brain thinks get in the way of what her heart knows.

Her heart knows Nico wanted her. Knows Nico liked her. Knows Nico wouldn’t do anything to hurt her.

She needs to figure things out for herself and stop running, stop letting her mind fill in the gaps of a situation it can’t even comprehend to begin with.

She reaches her arms around Luke’s shoulders, stretching up on her tip toes to pull him into a hug before rubbing her knuckles into his curls, affectionately.

Luke Hughes is sarcastic and silly, and he cares enough about her to not want her to be alone if she’s going through something.

“Thank you for the offer, Luke, but I’ll be alright.”

“Are you sure?”

She nods, a tender smile tugging at the corners of her stubborn lips. It takes over her face, eyes glinting fondly and cheeks warming. 

“Yeah, you can walk me to my car if you’re that worried about me though.” She loops her arm through his elbow as they make their way to the parking lot, and when they get there, he makes sure she’s in her car and has set off before him and Jack leave.

As if her day can’t get any worse, the elevator in her building is cordoned off with tape and a sign when she gets home, and she has never regretted moving up a floor as much as she does when she’s trudging up 6 flights of stairs.

She’s exhausted. Emotionally and physically, and she just wants to throw herself into bed and pretend the last 24 hours were a terrible dream.

Only, as she rounds the final corner to get to her door, any hopes of that go straight down the pan when her eyes land on Nico, standing in front of her door with his hands buried in his jacket pocket.

He looks tired too - hair messed where he’s no doubt been taking his cap on and off for however long he’s been stood here, running a hand through the tresses until they’re all askew. 

His shoulders are slumped, and he doesn’t even greet her with that pretty smile he usually gives her.

His lips do curve up a touch - limp and half-hearted, not even enough for a dimple to form - but it doesn’t provide the comfort she had thought it would.

She feels anxious. A culmination of the day’s emotions washing over in one go. Sad, regretful, nervous, disappointed - all things she shouldn’t be used to feeling when it comes to Nico, but are all too familiar when she takes the last few months into account.

“Hi.” She gives a weak smile of her own.

“Can we talk?”

She wishes he’d have just said hi, back. That might have relieved the tightness in her chest just a little.

Nothing good ever comes of can we talk?

He steps aside as she approaches, maintaining a safe distance as she opens the door and enters her apartment.

The Nico from yesterday might have brushed past her, the graze of an arm or a lingering hand, but this Nico doesn’t. He barely even meets her eye.

He closes the door behind himself, watching as she discards her bag and keys to the console table on the side, and while she’s turned away from him, she tries to let whatever emotions need to come out cross her features where he can’t see them.

She needs to be cool about this, she thinks.

If she doesn’t get her back up, doesn’t get agitated, she won’t scare him off.

“Are you okay?” She asks once she’s turned to face him, not liking how he stands unmoving by the door. He hasn’t made any effort to settle in - his jacket still on and his hands still hidden in the pockets.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?”

She realises now that she can get a good look at him that the expression he wears is one of shame. Guilt. Apprehension. She needs to be careful and toe the line before he gets consumed by it, she realises.

She steps toward him a little, and he doesn’t back up - not immediately, not obviously - but he hardly welcomes her approach, either.

She doesn’t like feeling this way when it comes to talking to him - feeling uneasy and unsure, but there’s a part of her that’s tired of having to prompt him for answers.

He had been the one to leave this morning. Why can’t he just come out and tell her why?

“I’m alright,” she shrugs, not wanting to scare him off with the truth. “Super tired, though, can we sit?”

She wonders if he thinks about the same things she does as they make their way to the couch. Wonders if he can feel the scratch of her nails on his torso, or the brush of her lips against his, as they sit in the spot where not even 24 hours ago, their bodies had been intertwined.

He doesn’t sit right beside her as he normally would, and she finds herself missing the way his thigh usually brushes against her own.

She doesn’t know where to start or what to ask, and so she basks in the silence for a little - finding comfort in the fact that, despite the mess they’re currently in, they aren’t quite at the end yet.

But a part of her feels it coming.

She’d known it this morning if she lets herself listen to the rational voice in her head. As soon as she’d heard him say her name, as soon as he’d left, a part of her knew that was it, and maybe if she’d let herself believe it at the time - hadn’t talked herself down and convinced herself she was being irrational - she could have protected herself from all the ways this is going to hurt.

“I’m sorry.” He says, and when she looks up, he’s looking down where his large hands are now clasped together in his lap.

“For what?” She manages to choke out.

“Last night, I,” she digs her nails into the palms of her own hands to stop herself filling in the gaps as he figures out what he wants to say, but it’s no use.

He’s sorry for last night.

Last night, he made a mistake.

Last night, he was drunk, he was confused, he was just looking for something or someone to keep him occupied.

“I care about you so much, Poppy.”

That sentence shouldn’t be the one that fills her with dread, but it is.

“You’re my best friend, and I love you,” he does look up as he says this, eye meeting hers in an attempt to convey his honesty, but she sees more of the truth in his glassy gaze than she hears in his words. “This morning, I panicked, and I just needed some time to figure out what I want.”

No, no, no.

She’d rather he tell her what actually happened than do this. Than pretend he left because he doesn’t want her.

“I love you-,”

“You said that, already.” She can’t help the bite in her tone as she prepares herself for the hit. The I love you, but.

“You’re so important to me. Being your friend, it’s like it’s what keeps me sane lately.”

She chews at the inside of her cheek as she feels the tears start to well at her lash line.

“Poppy, I don’t want to mess up what we have,” he shakes his head as his gaze drops, dark eyes darting to focus anywhere but on her own, pleading and watery as she watches him slip away. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You don’t think this is hurting me?” She feels weak as her voice breaks, “You don’t think this is already messy?”

She reaches out to take his hands in hers, digging in to unclasp them, to try thread her fingers through, but he doesn’t make it easy.

“Nico, I love you, too, you know I do, we can figure it out, you don’t have to run away from me.”

It’s a desperate attempt and she knows it is, but she needs to know she tried. When she’s sobbing into her pillow and crying herself to sleep tonight, she needs to know she didn’t just let him go without a fight.

“I can’t give you what you want, I can’t be in a relationship, I’m no good at it.” 

Regardless of what she had told herself earlier, about taking what he says at face value, and trying not to fill in the gaps like she does so often with everyone else, she can’t help herself. When he says, I can’t be in a relationship, he means with her. He can’t be with Poppy. He would be no good with Poppy.

“Why are you doing this?”

“I told you-,”

“No, you said before that you’ve wanted this for as long as you’ve known me, you don’t just wake up and change your mind, not after-,” Poppy starts to feel panic building within her like a flipped over sand timer. Rising and rising until she starts to feel nauseous, getting harder with each second not to jump to conclusions. 

The voice inside her that tells her he got what he wanted and decided it wasn’t for him sounds caustic and bitter, and if she hadn’t wound herself up so much about this whole situation over the course of the day - the past week, even, or the months before - she might have been able to fight off the way it so easily convinces her.

“I have to put the team first, it doesn’t matter what I want, I have to focus on them, on hockey.”

She’s too caught up in her own emotions to notice how weak he sounds - glassy eyes unable to catch the glint in his. All she can hear, all she can see, is the minute hints of a cover-up - that she isn’t getting the whole story, that he’s lying to her, and that the excuse he’s giving is cowardly.

He still hasn’t mentioned the call, hasn’t mentioned Talia, hasn’t explained why he left her, why he didn’t say anything, why he didn’t come back.

“And you didn’t know that before?” She scoffs, pushing herself up off the couch and stepping away from him, “I can’t believe you would do this to me.” She wipes the tears from her cheeks as soon as they fall, but she can’t rid her skin of the feeling that they were there, her flesh damp and sore.

“I know we took things a little too far last night, but that doesn’t mean-,” She almost thinks he notices how bad that hurts her, referencing the night they shared as a mistake - an instance where they got carried away, and not where they followed through on years worth of built up tension and adoration for one another. She doesn’t even have to fill in the gaps, this time. Took things a little too far is clear enough. “We can still be friends. I want to be friends.”

“Friends?” Poppy jeers in disbelief, turning completely away from him now and missing the tears that drop from his own cheeks - missing the way his chest cracks and stretches open in a last ditch demonstration of his vulnerability, his desperation not to lose her completely. “You should go.”

“Poppy,”

“I can’t,” she tries so hard not to cry, knowing she won’t be able to stop, but the words come out in a choked sob, and her voice carries on in the whiney way she always hates. “You told me you wanted more, you said I was yours, and I’m supposed to just act like it never happened? Just accept you didn’t actually mean the things you said?”

“I meant them,” he says, defiantly, so sure of himself that it makes her head spin. “I wouldn’t-,”

“No, you didn’t. You’re a liar. You were either lying then, or you’re lying now. I don’t know which is worse. I can’t be your friend. I can’t pretend like you can that I don’t feel the way I feel.”

“Please, Mohn,” His fingertips just manage to reach out to land on her forearm before she shucks him off, wincing as if his touch has pained her.

“Don’t.” She takes an immediate step back, arms crossing over herself as a defence mechanism, body language screaming at him to go away, and she watches his pleading eyes drop to her arms just as she feels the cold of the metal there - so in tune with her every thought despite his denial of their true connection. Her arms move before her mind can make the decision, before it can remember what even sits on her skin, and her shaking fingers fumble to unclasp the jewellery adorned on her wrist. “You should take this back.”

Nico shakes his head, stepping back and away from the outstretched hand that holds her gemstone bracelet like it’s an actual danger to him. “No, that’s yours, Poppy.”

“I don’t want it.” She knows she’s the one that’s lying now. She wants the bracelet. She wants him. She doesn’t want him to leave. She wants to be his friend over being nothing. 

But she doesn’t want to hurt.

Looking at him hurts.

Remembering last night, remembering their kiss, the things he has said, the things he has done, it all hurts, and she can’t keep hold of a constant reminder of the pain, can’t wear it on her person at all hours of the day just to know deep down that the man who gave it to her will never want her the same way.

“I want you to leave.”

“Please,” he begs again, head tilting as devastation floods his features, brows pushing together, tears welling at the corners of his eyes, “We need to talk about this-,”

“No, you were right, we went too far, it was a mistake.” Her voice breaks as she says things she knows she doesn’t mean, but he’s already put it out there, so she doesn’t see the harm in echoing his own opinions. “There’s nothing more to talk about.”

She can’t look at him anymore, and so she drops her gaze to his hands, stepping and reaching forward and forcing him to take the bracelet from her before she rounds the couch and heads to the door.

If he isn’t going to give her the whole truth, she isn’t going to entertain part of the story, and she needs him gone so she can give in to the way her body wants to fold in on itself.

It takes him a minute to gather himself, but she refuses to look his way, waiting by the open door to her apartment and staring at the floor in front of her until his shoes appear.

“I do love you, Poppy. I’m leaving because I don’t want to upset you any more than I already have, and I’ll give you space if that’s what you need, but I’ll be here when you want to talk about this. I mean it when I say I can’t lose you.”

 She doesn’t say anything. She can’t say anything.

There’s a stabbing pain that’s building and building in the centre of her chest, and she doesn’t even think she can breathe in his presence.

He clasps a hand around her upper arm, and leans into her, his lips pressing a firm kiss into the crown of her head, and he lingers there for a moment before he retreats. 

She manages to push the door closed behind him, the click of the lock louder than ever, and waits a good few minutes in silence before her body is wracked with a silent sob.

The one time she had tried to be brave and fight her own intuition, and this is where it gets her.

So much for Nico wouldn’t do anything to hurt her.

Next Chapter

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