#[ though i've never been a part of it myself ]

[buddhistmusings]

Why do you care so much?

I've been asked this question a few times in the past year - why I spend so much time thinking, reading, and reflecting on antisemitism, especially because I am not Jewish myself. There are a few reasons, really. One of them is that I think antisemitism is a hatred that spawns other hatreds, but even if it did not, it would still be worth studying, because the fact that it is a hatred at all is enough. The fact that antisemitism impacts Jewish people is enough of a reason to oppose it.

It's also because it's important to oppose because of the way it damages the thinking habits of people who believe it. I saw somebody say, "Jew-Hate makes you dumb," once. And though I think it was probably an off the cuff statement for them, it stuck with me, and I think they're right. In my religion, we say hatred is one of the three poisons - it can seriously harm your mental well-being in a way that deepens your suffering in all aspects of life. Often, hatred can also be spread like a contagion. It's something that destroys social harmony and causes severe social dysfunction. And right now, I think antisemitism is the most contagious of hatreds - I've seen people in my life fall off the cliff, I've been able to talk some back from it, and I've seen how so many people wander towards it without any idea that that's what they're doing.

Part of the problem is that antisemites consider themselves righteous in a way I think most racists don't. Often, you'll see "I'm not racist but" I almost never see that with antisemitism. They don't add that qualifier. They just say it. Most racists I know will make a tacit acknowledgment of the racist implications of what they're about to say - antisemitic people don't. They often even engage in anti-Jewish racism while invoking anti-racism.

I don't really know any Jewish people in real life, perhaps only two. But I don't need to know them to know that hating them is wrong. I think I also have a debt of gratitude to many people in the Jewish community because of the advances in Buddhist Studies made by Jewish people, which sounds strange - but it's true that many leading voices and researchers, both in academia and within Buddhism itself happen to be Jewish. I'm not sure why this is, but it's absolutely true. The most prolific translator of Pali into English that I can think of is Jewish. The most impactful Vipassana instructor in America I can think of is Jewish. The most impactful voice in Deity Yoga, for Tibetan Buddhism, is Jewish. People who are Jewish, for some reason, contributed probably more than ex-Christian Americans or atheists combined to the proliferation of Buddhism in the United States.

Buddhists and Jewish people are known to have a close relationship. There are a lot of different reasons for this that I would suggest, but none that add up to explain the amazing contributions to Buddhism made by American Jews.

I think another reason I have for being so interested in antisemitism as a non-Jew is the kind of... political disillusionment I've been experiencing? It's been a disturbing few years, and I haven't seen many people elaborate very well on this feeling of abandonment and horror, witnessing people who you thought shared your values become hateful and deeply violent in their beliefs. The only people I've seen consistently speak about it happen to be Jewish.

I think all of this has helped contribute to a feeling of closeness to Jewish people as a group, despite that I don't really know Jewish people in my real life, and only have one or two Jewish friends online. This year has been a horror show of watching people's minds become twisted - it's so scary in a way I can't quite capture with words right now.

I also sometimes have a back and forth with myself about when and if to mention I'm not Jewish when I talk about antisemitism, because I do think it's totally necessary to explain the perspective from which I speak, but to be honest it feels kind of icky to be like "I'm not Jewish, but antisemitism is bad", because antisemitism is bad whether or not the person saying so isn't Jewish, and I think it might be a negative for people to think "not being Jewish" is something which makes it any less valuable to be against antisemitism, and talk about how against it you are. It's very real that people who talk about antisemitism are perceived to be Jewish, and obviously, it's important not to lead people into thinking you're Jewish when you're not, but adding an "I'm not Jewish" qualifier to statements about antisemitism I worry might contribute to the perception that those against antisemitism are Jewish.

Antisemitism is such an insidious ideology. And it's everywhere. I see it daily in so many different spaces. It has the largest impact on Jewish people, but it also impacts non-Jewish people at times. I distinctly remember being mocked throughout school for "looking Jewish." I think about that Greek restaurant which was attacked because they were thought to be Jewish. Or that man in the Amsterdam violence who tried to help and was then accused of being Jewish himself. It's so deluded, violent, and manages to consume people's thoughts like a parasitic worm in their brain.

Anyways, I planned for this post to be more organized. Oops.

[billiesguitar]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ 𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐄𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡

other girls

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - Smut,Dom!billie,cursing,eating out,fingering

"Long time no see, hm baby?" I feel her arms slide around my waist and her breath tickles the back of my neck as she places her head on my shoulder. Billie looks up at the girl I'd been talking to this whole party and smiles sweetly.

"Billie," I smile back, trying to keep my voice from giving away my anger, she always does this, leaves and talks to whoever she wants, reminding me of our friends with benefits agreement but gets angry when I talk to other girls. though she's so beautiful tonight. She's wearing this black suit that hugs her curves in all the right places, making my stomach flutter.

"So sorry I've been busy," she says, then glaces at the girl, "thanks for keeping my girl company."

The girl blushes and quickly excuses herself, leaving Billie and me standing there awkwardly.

"Why are you talking to her?" Billie's voice is low, almost a growl.

"I can talk to however I want. I'm not your girlfriend, Billie." I reply, trying to keep the edge out of my tone.

"No, but you're mine," she whispers into my ear.

Her hands are on my hips now, turning me to face her. I can't help but look into her piercing green eyes. "Friends with benefits, remember?" I remind her, trying to sound nonchalant.

"I do. But I don't like sharing." She says, her grip tightening.

"What do you mean by that?"

Her gaze is intense, and for a second, I think she's going to kiss me right here in front of everyone. But instead, she takes my hand and leads me through the crowd. "Follow me."

We push through the throng of people, the bass of the music vibrating through my chest, until we reach the bathroom. She locks the door behind us and turns to face me.

"I want you," she says simply. "Now."

The sudden aggression in her voice sends a thrill down my spine, and I know exactly what she means. I nod, my heart racing.

Without another word, she grabs the hem of my dress and pulls it up, bunching it up around my waist. "I should bend you over that counter and fuck you into oblivion," Billie get on her knees and parts my legs, her grip firm on my thighs, "but I'm not gonna do that."

"Why not?" I ask breathlessly, feeling a little disappointed.

"Because I want everyone to hear how much you want me," she says with a smirk, "and I want them to know exactly who you belong to."

Billie tugs my underwhere down and drapes my leg over her shoulder. She kisses my inner thigh, her hot breath sending shivers down to my core. "You're mine, aren't you?" she asks, looking up at me.

"Yes," I murmur, feeling my body responding to her dominance.

"Good."

Her mouth moves to my core, and she starts to kiss and nibble lightly before bringing in her fingers. They're gentle at first, but she quickly picks up the pace, making me gasp. Her tongue swirls around my clit, and she adds a second finger, pushing into me without mercy.

"Billie," I moan, my hand on the cool porcelain of the sink to steady myself.

"That's right," she murmurs, her voice a bit low, "let them all know."

The bathroom echoes with the sound of my moans, and I can't help but wonder if anyone outside can hear. It's so wrong, but so hot.

"I want to hear you,baby." she says, her voice muffled by my legs

And with that, she sucks harder, her tongue flicking my sensitive bud. My legs start to shake as the pleasure builds inside me.

"Oh god," I whisper, leaning back against the sink and I tug slightly on her hair.

Her response is to push in a third finger, stretching me and filling me up completely. I feel so vulnerable like this, exposed and at her mercy. But I love it.

"Billie," I call out louder, "please, don't stop."

"m'not gonna baby," she coos, "don't you worry"

I can feel my climax approaching, and I'm so close. "I'm gonna come," I whimper.

"That's it," she encourages, her tongue never leaving my clit.

The orgasm hits me like a wave, making my knees buckle. Billie holds me up, her mouth still working me through the aftershocks. She pulls away and looks up at me with a satisfied smirk.

"now, can other girls make you cum like this?"

[teoft]

It's like Tumblr has become almost a diary for me, thanks to no character limit and a read more button. This atmosphere of acceptance and understanding helps a lot too.

I'll get back to posting actual art, juggling with Twitter and Bluesky along with commissions is taking up a lot of my time.

Anyway, thoughts about art community and being social

For the longest time I've had this feeling of being an outsider in this vague community of artists that see as colleagues of sorts. Like I meet all the "criteria" of being in the group, and yet don't really feel like I'm part of it. Well, it seems I am right in some way, and the reason is that they interact with each other, while I sit here drawing alone.

Unfortunately I've always been prone to isolate myself from others. I grew up feeling like I should be ashamed of loving to draw, since it was always fanart monsters, creatures and cool guys instead of "proper art" like animals and portraits. Before social media, I only drew for myself and never showed anything to anybody. I hid my art from my family, from the world, so that I wouldn't be judged. I think it is one of the biggest reasons why I have trouble interacting with people in the context of art (tbh I'm shit at being social anyway but that's a whole another problem).

Even when I had a scanner and means to post my art online, I never did, due to the whole "if you put something online it'll be there forever" mindset. My first actual account anywhere online must've been Facebook in 2010ish, where I only had a few friends. It was the perfect place for me to finally post anything online, and so I did: I used to post pretty much everything I drew on there. Slowly gaining courage, I eventually made my original Tumblr account, then Deviantart, Twitter, etc.

Still, all I did was throw my art out there in hopes of somebody liking it. I didn't really know how to interact with the people who commented on my posts, so instead I mostly just... made more art. I did have some friend groups here and there, but either they ended up falling apart or my social battery drained in such a way that I slowly drifted away. I had gotten used to just being by myself and relying only on myself in the online art world.

During my design studies, I started putting more thought and work on promoting myself, so that it could be one career path for me to take. My mindset was that I'll work hard and become "big", even if it meant that one post gained me just one follower. In 2020 I ended up going viral with a meme and suddenly getting tens of thousands of followers. It was great and a welcome boost of morale, but unfortunately 2020 was otherwise one of the worst years in my life.

Throughout the years people have come and gone, so the only constant for me has been myself, and my drive to develop my skills. Thus it's been too easy for me to just isolate myself. In a way it has been my strength with regards to art, but sometimes I wish I knew how to make lasting connections. I think/know I might be autistic to some degree, which adds to the difficulty of being social. Though, to be honest, I don't know if I'd gotten this far without my autistic hyperfixations.

I guess the thing I need to do now to fix this problem of loneliness and isolation is to just... slowly try and be more social. To reply to comments and talk to people. All of which is easier said than done. Still, just gotta take that first step and then keep going.

Despite lacking the kind of community I yearn for, it seems I've made a name for myself, enough so that people seem to take pride in knowing me. Or at least that's the impression I've gotten a few times. But still, I am happy that I've had a positive effect on people. After all, my two main motivators in art are that I like doing it, and I like when people enjoy my art.

[angelthefandomobsessed]

What's the deal with Heartslabyul (A TWST theory)

I've been thinking about this for a while now, and it just occurred to me to write it all out because I think this is pretty interesting. This theory involves who some of the Heartslabyul members are twisted from, who Yuu represents, the potential inspiration for Grim (yes, Grim), and how this might affect Royal Sword Academy. Some of this is likely fairly obvious, and almost definitely has been pointed out before, but there are some aspects that I have never seen discussed.

I'll split this post into different points to keep everything somewhat together, hopefully, maybe?

Point 1: Who is Alice?

Okay, so this all started with Ace. This is all his fault. I was thinking to myself, "Who is he actually supposed to represent?", as he's one of the more dubious characters in terms of a direct inspiration (him and the rest of Heartslabyul tbh).

In Book 1, at a glance, he seems to be acting as Alice as he is the tart thief. It's not unusual to see characters doubling up on 'roles' (Azul stands in for the genie in Book 4, and Malleus stands in for Mufasa in Book 2, for example). But then I realised no, Ace can't be Alice, because Yuu is obviously Alice.

Yuu ends up in a different world (a world literally named 'Wonderland'), Yuu meets all of the strange characters this Wonderland has to offer, and Yuu points out that Riddle (the Queen of Hearts) is in the wrong (though it's worth mentioning that Ace and Deuce also do this). These parallels are obvious indicators that the player, the only outsider, is supposed to be Alice.

But for what I think is more definitive proof...

Point 2: GRIM IS DINAH, HAS ANYBODY ELSE NOTICED OR AM I LOSING IT???

Grim shares striking similarities with Dinah, Alice's cat.

Entirely blue eyes. A big bow. A patch of chest fur. I refuse to believe that in making an Alice in Wonderland inspired dorm, in a game named after Alice in Wonderland, that this is a coincidence. At one point in Alice in Wonderland, Alice wonders to herself if she'll be taking orders from Dinah next (I think when the White Rabbit mistakes her for the maid?). Taking orders... like a henchman might?

I rest my case. Grim is Dinah, which makes Yuu Alice.

(If this is somehow common knowledge I apologise, I just felt very clever when I spotted this)

Point 3: Okay... so who is Ace?

Ace is the Knave of Hearts. In the novel, it is the Knave of Hearts who is initially accused of stealing the tart, not Alice. The Knave isn't included in the Disney's animated Alice in Wonderland, but he plays a role in Tim Burton's live-action version... as a man with a heart eyepatch who serves the queen (but seems to hate her and want her dead for... reasons).

But like. Heart eyepatch. Tart thief. Do the math.

Point 4: Che'nya further evidences the influence of the live-action Alice in Wonderland/the original novel

In the animated Alice in Wonderland, the Cheshire Cat sucks. He is the worst. In the book, however, he is the chillest creature in Wonderland. At one point in a croquet match with the queen Alice is like "Bro, are you seeing this lady?" and he's like "Tell me all about it", and they have a gossip off to the side.

Similarly, in the live-action, the cat is portrayed in a positive light. He's a part of the revolution (down with the bloody big heid, and such). Che'nya is in RSA - the good guy school. If we were exclusively following the animated film, he would 100% be in NRC.

Che'nya is a good guy, which suggests that media surrounding Disney's original animated films was taken into consideration. I've seen it observed that Leona's overblot design seems to take inspiration from the musical adaptation of the Lion King, and that Diasomnia's Glorius Masquerade outfits resemble the live-action Maleficent when put together (wings on either side of Malleus).

If that's not enough to convince you that the live-action has been referenced in TWST, then I present you with this:

Riddle's hair is red, not black. The Queen of Heart's has black hair in the animated film... and bright red hair in the live action.

Point 5: What does this mean for Royal Sword Academy?

This is very up in the air as we don't know all that much about RSA. If they operate similarly to NRC (seven dorms, each with a leader, each dedicated to a Disney hero), more references to the live-action Alice in Wonderland might be on the horizon. We might see a representation of the White Queen, or the Mad Hatter (a character who was also a little bit terrible in the animated film, but played an instrumental hero role in the live-action).

Point 6: Deuce, Trey and Cater... Whomst are you?

Well... where does that leave the other card soldiers? That's certainly one of the great mysteries of TWST. Most of the characters have such clear inspiration - Jamil is obviously Jafar, Malleus is obviously Maleficient, Azul is obviously Ursula... And then you have a character like Trey, who makes cake and has a dental fixation. There aren't really any other characters like the Knave where you can point at them and say, "They share an obvious visual similarity."

The Mad Hatter is green, and the tea parties couldn't happen without Trey and he... wears a fedora, I guess?

Cater has orange hair and so does the King of Hearts.

Deuce gives dog boy energy, so...

Yeah, it's still anyone's guess.

In conclusion: I think the reason why Heartslabyul is such a source of mystery is because every member hides a part of themselves. Cater has a melancholic side, Deuce is an ex-delinquent, Riddle deeply wants to be normal but holds back because of the rules, Trey wants to be the most average man ever, and Ace can be all kinds of insincere.

I think in the next book 7 update (the Heartslabyul adventure) we might be getting a deeper insight into these characters, which I'm really looking forward to. Ace in particular.

While we're here, I predict that Riddle's dream will involve him being a normal, imperfect teen who eats sweets all day, Deuce will be an honour student (he probably doesn't have the best imagination so it could be silly o'clock with him), and Trey will wear a sparkly dress and become the tooth fairy (his true dream job).

Okay, but serious prediction for Trey - they'll go into his dream and be all "Omg he has such a strong imagination, how did we never notice?? He's actually so OP" because his unique magic is actually broken, I'm pretty sure if he woke up he could use Doodle Suit on Malleus and turn his sleep spell into pretzels or something, it wouldn't even surprise me.

[walkingstackofbooks]

I know this is cursed but. Please rank DS9 characters in order of how Dominant or submissive they’d be during kink scenes? I feel like we could write whole essays analysing what those guys do in bed tbh.

Oh my god, cackling, is this really what you all think of me? :P (Yeah, no, that's fair 🤣)

This was actually so interesting to think about! I was finding it very hard difficult to decide on an order on initial vibes alone, so I wrote up my headcanons for them all first - and a few of them are surprising even to me! Also there are so many switches/not really into it so the middle is really very fuzzy.

1 - Ezri Yeah, definitely a surprise to find her at the top of my list, but I so really think she'd get a kick out of the dom scene (and mostly dislike subbing). She's just got that quiet powerful energy that makes you want to be in her thrall, and being joined and having Jadzia's memories alongisde her own just makes her more confident that she's good at what she does. She wouldn't dom for brats though. (Also partly why she's so nervous at asking Julian out, she doesn't feel she's got a good read on his dom/sub energy...)

2 - Sisko If he was into it, I can only see him as a dom. He made captain because he's good at commanding, and he likes it, and I think that would carry through into the bedroom. But honestly, he probably wouldn't be interested in power play in the first place.

3 - Jadzia She's a great dom for sure, but I think she enjoys exploring new things way too much not to be a switch? Plus, Worf like to think he's a dom, and she's happy to humour him from time to time. More dom than not, though, and she's definitely a brat when she subs.

4 - Worf I've definitely said this before, but Worf thinks he's a dom. He's a Klingon warrior, etc etc etc, "obviously" if anyone's domming, it's him. I don't think he's that good at it, but Jadzia finds it endearing, so it's fine. And I think he likes it when Jadzia takes charge, but he never actually refers to that as "subbing" in his head... Idk, I just don't think he'd be able to relax enough to really let himself be submissive, even though I think he'd enjoy it if he were able to. (I also don't think he's particularly into power play, either, tbh)

5 - Garak Ohh, another difficult one... I think subbing would be really good for him, if he could let his guard down enough for it. And he'd have to be in the right mood to dom - at times, he'd really enjoy it, at others, it would hit too close to home and he'd be holding off a breakdown until whenever his partner left. I think he'd *want* to dom, though, even if he knows it'll trigger him, because he does enjoy breaking the other person down and hurting them. (Not that he'd think of it as "triggering" to himself, of course.)

6 - Odo I really cannot see him being into it. No rating. [Edit: I came back to re-evaluate after writing Kira but no. Even for her, it's really not something he wants to try.] [Edit: Fuck, he would dom for Quark though.]

7 - Miles Again, not sure he'd be into power play for itself, but he enjoys playing his role for a partner who's into it. Keiko, I think is a switch with a slight preference for domming, so he's been a sub more often than not. I think his favourite part of it is giving aftercare when he's been a dom :3 (something something good-cop-Miles-bad-cop-Keiko domming the hell out of a dazed Julian)

8 - Julian Disclaimer - I exclusively read sub!Julian, so I'm biased XD But trying to think about it objectively... I think he's a switch. Like Jadzia, he enjoys exploring new things too much to really stick to one or the other. I do think he'd have hangups over how much he enjoys domming though, what with his secret fear of going bad... And being a sub allows him to relax and not have to think and just relish in all the sensations and I think he'd love being slowly taken apart bit by bit...

9 - Kira Sure, she screams dom at first but I pegged her as a sub a few weeks back and now I've really talked myself into it. I think she could dom, but unlike Sisko, while she's very good at being in command, I don't think she intrinsically enjoys it, and letting someone else be in control would give her the chance to relax. It would take her a while to allow herself to explore it, but once she got there, she'd find a space where she can be soft and gentle and cherished - and hurt, and soothed.

10 - Quark Oh my god he's such a sub, right? Not that he'd ever tell anyone but he LOVES being told what to do and ordered around. In theory he's a brat, but it never lasts for long - he becomes a pliant submissive wreck too quickly. (Okay now I'm considering if Odo would break his definitely not rule for Quark and... Yeah, actually 😅 Why would their dynamic change just because they're having sex?)

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

— 1D Monthly Fic Roundup —

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for November 2024! Below you’ll find 1D fics that were all published this month. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​. You can find all our other posts here.

Happy reading!

＊ Lost and Found by @signofcomfort [T, 33k, Louis/Harry]

Harry, the misfit wolf in the pack, always longed for affection but was too drowned in his own loneliness.

The pack alpha Louis Tomlinson shapes the future of his pack to be more accepting and welcoming, but would Harry ever return?

＊ No More Days Alone by @signofcomfort [M, 6k, Louis/Isaac Anderson]

Isaac finds himself lost amidst the tour but Louis is always there to find him.

＊ I want yesterdays love by edensrose / @holdingthornsandroses [M, 4k, Louis/Dev Patel]

“We’re going on holiday before the term starts again,” Oli announces in their kitchen the day after the art opening.

Louis looks up from his cereal bowl.

“Who is we?”

“I’ve rented us a cottage near the beach. Me, you, Calvin, Rick, and Dev.”

Louis makes a noncommittal noise but can’t deny his heartbeat racing at the mention of Dev.

＊ i tell myself i'm done with wicked games by haveufoundwhaturlookingfor / @sup3rbloom [T, 5k, Louis/Michael Clifford]

Omegaverse: Alpha Louis has never questioned who he is, a strong, loving Alpha who defies stereotypes. When he meets Michael, a beta, he certainly doesn't expect to fall for him (and hard).

＊ To start again by @loretheloner [E, 27k, Louis/Michael Blackwell]

Louis finds himself slowly falling for a bandmate again, despite Oli's warnings against it. Michael finds himself slowly falling for his boss and fighting against the ghost of Louis' past relationship. They find a way to start again.

Or a canon compliant story that follows Michael and Louis from the summer of 2019 to June of 2024. Written for prompt SS of the Louis Rare Pair Fest 2024.

＊ I've drowned and dreamt this moment by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed [T, 2k, Zayn/Louis]

There has been a rivalry between them since they were young. Since the very start of their careers. It’s always been Louis and Zayn, the ones to watch. The ones to do battle and ultimately share the podium.

They push each other to be better, is what the world says.

They hate each other, is what Zayn and Louis say.

And it all comes to a head in Val d’Argenton.

＊ Countdown by @allwaswell16 [M, 2k, Louis/Thomas Shelby]

Tommy Shelby, pack alpha of the Peaky Blinders, has taken notice of The Garrison Pub’s new barmaid, an omega named Louis. A prequel to One Part 2 of One

＊ if we were butterflies by @blueskiesrry [E, 52k, Harry/Louis]

“Is this how I used to look at you?” His hand hovers just over the collarbone of the sculpture, like he’s caught between wanting to touch and wanting to pull away, wanting to leave and wanting to stay.

Eyes stuck on Harry, unaware of anything else in the room, Louis whispers, “Something like that,” wondering now if he ever quite did it justice.

or: after recruiting harry to model for his sculptures and coming to know all his edges, louis loses him to a life more prosperous than he can provide. he finds harry again four years later.

＊ Whole Lot of History by Blue_Green28 / @bluegreen28fics [E, 73k, Louis/Harry]

Louis and Harry have a whole lot of history. With 3 children coming out of their twelve years long marriage they are essential parts of each other's lives even though they have moved on with new partners since their divorce ten years ago. Or have they?

What happens when Harry finally gets some money to open the coffee shop he had always dreamed of and they spend more time together to plan everything? Does their love still have a chance?

＊ Flying Over on My Own Tonight by @haztobegood [E, 1k, Louis/Jack Cochrane]

Louis is on his way to Monterrey, Mexico, where he'll headline Tecate P’al Norte music festival for the first time. A text from Jack makes the flight a bit more interesting.

＊ Sisterhood by @haztobegood [M, 2k, OT5]

Liam was thankful to have found sisters like Harry, Louis, Niall, and Zayn after running away from her parents. They opened their door and their hearts, their once-abandoned farmhouse becoming a safe, comforting home. Then one night, an unexpected visitor arrived, revealing the dark secrets of her new family.

＊ The Kiss of Sleep by @haztobegood [NR, 666 words, Louis/Harry]

Louis shook his head. “I’m proper knackered.” Too many nights on the road with the noise of the tyres rolling beneath them kicked Louis’ insomnia into high gear. He’d only been able to nip off for naps between soundcheck and their shows so he’d have enough energy to perform properly. But just barely. Now, with two days off and a plush king size bed calling his name for the first time in weeks, Louis needed to catch up on sleep.

＊ Love's A State Of Mind by @enchantedlandcoffee [T, 3k, Harry/Louis]

“Your omega?” Louis asked softly, trying his best to keep his voice steady. “Hmmm.” Harry smushed his face in Louis’ shirt, his hand moving up to mess with one of the buttons. “He’s great, my omega. He’s kind and passionate and funny, even when he makes jokes about me.” “He- He sounds great, button.” “He is. You are.” What?!

OR Childhood friends, Harry and Louis, have been inseparable ever since they met. However, presenting as an alpha and omega drove a wedge in their relationship. One night, after Harry drunkenly confesses one too many things, Louis snaps. He realises that, despite loving his best friend so much, he needs to move on before their love tears them apart. He just needs to get the stubborn alpha on his side. Part 1 of Flower & Button

[loopy777]

Have you read the preview pages for Ashes of the Academy? Any thoughts so far? The thing which stands out to me so far is that Hicks's Ursa seems significantly different from Yang's Ursa. Also they're randomly making Mai strongly anti-imperialist (is that something that she's supposed to have developed in Smoke and Shadow?).

I try not to draw conclusions from preview pages because they're deliberately presented without context, and these especially aren't a continuous batch. And they're definitely not the finished versions, as Ursa's dialogue includes an out-of-universe author's note. XD So my thoughts are probably dissatisfying right now.

My main thought, though, is that they're setting up a conflict between Mai and the Headmaster Lady about historical propaganda, but Mai is so hardcore with her position that it feels like the story wants her to learn A Very Special Lesson and compromise in some way. Perhaps she'll need to use more discipline but mix that with more truthful, relevant lessons.

Or I suppose it could just be about her fighting The Power and winning the day for Truth. But I don't feel like they've made the Headmaster Lady evil-looking enough for that kind of thing. Maybe she'll reveal fangs and laser eyes later. Or they'll tweak Mai's dialogue.

As for Mai, I don't see her saying anything that wouldn't go with having been Zuko's girlfriend and Aang's friend for a year. Smoke & Shadow had her working against Zuko's enemies. And she never presented any kind of logic for why she thought her weird dad would have been able to protect Tom-Tom from ghosts, so I think that part was just supposed to be completely irrational anxiety-based weirdness.

But I admit I've largely let myself forget the details of Gene Yang's comics, so maybe Mai had a moment in there where she was more ambivalent about Fire Nation history. If those comics have to be some kind of canon, I consider them in a 'broad strokes' kind of way and take Faith Erin Hicks' stuff as badly-needed retcons in terms of characterization.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

[ilkkawhat]

I know I've mentioned the Journal before, but this Saturday marks the one year anniversary of the day that I decided to play Alan Wake 2 for the first time, and my life changed for the better. I've used this journal to keep track of various gameplay stats (not pictured is the AW2 page where I'm literally keeping a tally of how many times I've played it which I'm in my tenth full playthrough); notes such as the stash puzzles, deer heads, etc though I still gotta finish the list of nursery rhymes and maps beyond cauldron lake; dreams I've had involving alan or anything remedy related; doodles and drawings (which is huge for me on a personal level cause I have this like. slightly traumatic experience with drawing early in my life that I won't go into detail here); and even a few poems I wrote...and I hadn't written poems since maybe high school.

This year has been rough on a personal level especially with work but like other cornerstone obsession's I've had, Alan's journey resonated with me on so many levels and gives me strength to keep going. The night I bought and played AW2 on a whim just because I saw a meme that "friendship ended with Silent Hill now Alan Wake 2 is my best friend" will go down as a tremendous turning point in my life. I was on a creative dry spell, I had stopped everything and never thought I'd start again, I had exiled myself from any sort of fandom space/interaction thinking I was poison, isolated myself to such a terrible degree from my family and friends, I was in such a deep depression and a new level of hopelessness than I had ever been in before, and I can just go on and on forever on how much this game means to me but the most important thing Alan Wake taught me is the beginning of the final draft, that realization that all is not lost, that my life is not just a loop of depression then fleeting joy then depression then fleeting joy then depression then fleeting joy (yes, sometimes I wonder if I'm bipolar) and his monologue sums it up best:

A fictional poet once said "Beyond the shadow you settle for, there is a miracle, illuminated." I will not settle for a shadow. I will find the miracle, through the night. It's not just victims and monsters; I see now, there are heroes as well. We can find our way through the darkness. We will break through the surface and crash into the light.

[aevallare]

.

[memento-morri-writes]

It's been well over a week now (maybe two??) but I'm still plugging away (ever-so-slowly) at this vignette about Zara and Rook. Zara's POV is a lot of fun to write, now that I have a better sense of her character. Writing this has really solidified in my mind the kind of person she is and how she acted when she was Rook's captain and mentor. She's very calm and collected in comparison to Rook, even when under a lot of stress.

Anyways, have a little snippet that I'm proud of from today, featuring the origins of the coin trick!

Pacing back and forth across her cabin floor, she rolled the coin back and forth over her knuckles again and again. The motion was easy, almost mindless, more muscle memory than real intent. The coin trick had been her favorite way to soothe her nerves for years now. She’d picked it up out of idle curiosity after watching a street performer dining in a tavern in Bon Largo, who had chatted with her for over an hour as she fretted about something mundane, never once dropping the coin from their fingers. The same performer had later tried to steal her coin purse and ended up with nothing but a new scar for their trouble, but Zara had learned two important things from the encounter: Not to trust a warm smile and a pretty face, and that keeping her hands moving kept her mind from dwelling too much on worrisome things.

one-time tagging @space-writes because they commented on my tags about Rook learning the coin trick from Zara in one of my other snippets from this piece.

[jupiter--dream]

(cw vent, sorry it's just been A Couple Of Days)

Not really having many irl friends comes at the price of feeling so terribly lonely, I feel like I have no one to talk to because I'm not close to enough people, or maybe I am and I just haven't talked to them in a while and I don't want this to be our first conversation qwq

I'm honestly just. Tired, tbh qwq

[hpdfag]

i need to ramble hold on. spawns in a cut so that people dont get blasted by unfiltered posting on their dash. i feel the need to disclaim that im only like 50% lucid right now so this might be disorganized or complete word salad i can't really tell right now

i love him so much it feels like it's consuming me from the inside out. i don't want to do anything that isn't for him. the only reason i haven't quit my job is because i want to make him proud of me. even playing games makes me guilty, because i know it's not with him. i married harvey in stardew. i ate the stardrop for getting 12 hearts as i kissed him. the taste reminded me of hinata. it's a strange irony.

this false body feels like it's trapping me, keeping me from achieving my true metamorphosis. there are streetlights glimmering in the distance. as i try to move towards them they always fade away. the morning will come in 7 hours and 43 minutes and the sun will rise and it won't blind me awake. i'm not reverent enough.

i should pray. not to jesus, not to any other false prophet. i should pray to Him. maybe that will bring me salvation? maybe that will free me from this hell? maybe it happened because i was unworthy of being one of his trusted apostles. if i was as holy as he was it would have been different, i would still have been beneath him but i would have served my divine purpose as his servant.

but that's not important. i dont think. im jor sure. i hate it. i hate Him. i feel like i should Worship him. there's a certain something i still havent fixed a glitch in my code i need ocean breeze summer sun beach sand shining brilliance he's perfect i need him i need warm sun and dry land i need to be with him on the floor i need to hold him i need need need need need need need.

more than air more than food more than clean clothes more than water more than anything else more than i need this terrible mortal life i need to become worthy for him of his love of his care of his touch i wont deny that i selfishly want him to hold me and touch me even though im unworthy even though im no more than dirt beneath him i desire him so deeply

[sysig]

Jersey Boy (Patreon)

[talkorsomething]

want to cut my hair again like you wouldn't believe. What are the possible consequences of going bald

[tokyotowerboy]

As an autistic child who didn't fit in anywhere, I always looked at the people I knew with strong ties to their heritage with big ol sparkly eyes. I would constantly pester my family about our heritage. Of course, Native American would be included in the list. Potawatomi, I'd be told, "she was the daughter of the chief," someone claimed at some point... Then I grew up, learned history, studied anthropology, and all together came to realize that any native heritage I had (if I had any to begin with) was nothing more than a "fun fact" to my family. It didn't mean anything to anyone.

I was still curious, though, and through working on a family tree for a few years, I realized I did have "native heritage," an x-times great grandma who was Shawnee. It made me wonder a lot of things. Did she pass on any of her culture to her children, or, for any of the numerous reasons that would have prevented/pressured her to not, didn't? And if she did teach her children, when did it stop being passed down? At what point did she stop being our grandmother and start being a "fun fact"?