#[ the fact i don't have an analysis tag ]
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The four alignments of Tummy Hurt
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#lan wangji#nie huaisang#bonus comic#Brought to you by: *my* tummy hurts#This is in teen-era for the sole fact that it was imperative that Teen Wangji be granted that caption#I too was a teen with extremely high expectations that gave me stress stomach pain. There's no way lwj's tummy doesn't hurt all the time#NHS says his tummy hurts to 1) get attention 2) get out of situations 3) act as a distraction so the real tummy hurt havers can sneak out#I never would have thought making a tummy hurt alignment chart would be a character analysis but#The underpinning logic here is about how these guys go through the motion of pain. I have a lot of thoughts that would exceed tag limits#I also just want to take the time to say: You don't have to be brave about it. No matter the pain you face.#Your tummy can hurt and you can tell people and be loud about it <3
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Detroit Become Human and why does this game decide that the problem in society is individual people treating androids poorly because those androids are choking them out of the workforce and NOT the corporations and governments who deliberately designed the androids to do this
#AUGHHGHH#I promise you dbh is still one of my favourite games I really do#But ohhhhhhhjghh my GODDDD it makes me mad#Like ESPECIALLY this year. With artists and writers being so fucked by ai#Like the game has less than no sympathy for people who were screwed over by cyberlife deciding their labour wasn't worth anything#Like everybody has to be a strawman. Everybody has to be the violent 'android bad because (some vague reason that draws on the#'immigrants are stealing our jobs' line despite the fact that these things aren't equivalent at all)#Like yes. Robots being placed in positions where a real human would be paid a real wage to do that job is bad. This is a bad thing#But the game. Does not CARE#It's so morally neutral for cyberlife to be allowed to mass produce androids in the middle of a poverty epidemic that they created#It's fine! Says Detroit Become Human because everyone rendered homeless or struggling by this company's actions is a violent drug addict#Or something#It's like HUH#H U H#This game was so enamoured with it's weird bad civil rights allegory that it forgot that people do actually need jobs to uh. Pay to live#Because things are hell#And I think it could've been SO much better if the game acknowledged this AS WELL as acknowledging that no android chose this#Like a fresh deviant didn't ask to cause a real person to not have a job. The company who made them did#But dbh doesn't care. Cyberlife is morally neutral in this. I swear#Loses my mind this game is such a mess#Uhhh if anyone's reading this please don't get mad at me I promise I do really love this game. Like this game is the reason I#Met the love of my life. I am physically incapable of hating this game#I just think it's so worth discussing the ways it fails in (what I think is) a constructive manner#detroit become human#game analysis#I guess#If anyone has any contributions or disagrees with me I would LOVE love to hear. Genuinely I love talking about things like this#Essay in tags
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wanna ask how you feel about the eridan bpd headcanon/theory(?? not sure what to call it!) you're so good at your character analysis and i'd love to see your outlook on it
Since I don't have a degree or any formal training in psychology, I feel deeply uncomfortable diagnosing characters. I've made an autism joke before but only because I'm on the spectrum. He's definitely traumatized and anxious, but I mean those as descriptors of his behavior rather than capital-D Diagnoses. I try to focus on those when I can - the cause and effect of cognition, self-image, and behavior - and those factors may very well match up with DSM criteria, but I try not to touch an actual diagnosis with a ten foot pole unless the author has explicitly stated that X character has Y condition.
#there's a variety of reasons for this#part of it is that im GROSSLY unqualified to be handing out diagnoses when it takes a full on PhD to do that in real life#part of it is that psychology is inchoate and we are still very much in murky waters#for example: complex ptsd isn't even IN the DSM yet#and iirc my therapist told me it was because theyre still figuring out how to classify it (attachment disorder? trauma disorder? etc.)#part of it is that (from my limited and undereducated understanding) there are diagnoses that you can assign by completing a checklist...#but some that require a hell of a lot more testing and ruling out other potential causes#and the cluster-b personalities are (IIRC) not even ones you're supposed to diagnose minors with#bc of fears of self fulfilling prophecy and because minors in general are still developing personalities In General#and like the fact that i can't say that with authority speaks to how unqualified i am to do any diagnosing right? hahaha#and part of it is just because like#unless the story is specifically About That and the author has stated so explicitly#i think diagnosing characters tends to put blinders on analysis#like if i were to seriously go 'eridan is autistic' then it would massively bias my reading and understanding of his character#and we have 0 indication that eridan was ever explicitly intended to be autistic or that the author was trying to do an autism specifically#that doesn't mean that the reading is invalid because like thats what death of the author means#all readings are technically valid including stuff the author didn't necessarily intend#but that's just not the way i like to engage with media and not the way i like to approach character analysis#because PERSONALLY it just feels kind of reductive - but also -#i'd wager MOST of us don't have degrees in psychology#so when i say 'X character has Y condition' it might mean something totally different to somebody reading my analysis#even people who have Y condition aren't exempt because a lot of mental illnesses differ from person to person#whereas if i explain “X character has Y thoughts and Z behaviors” there's no ambiguity in that#eridan struggles with noticing that people are suffering and with realizing that he should care#at least part of this is due to his horrific murder-filled upbringing which rendered empathy a detriment & so he learned to ignore it#it could be autism - but it could also be trauma -#or he might just be Like That without actually meeting the diagnostic criteria for autism#& you can't even technically be diagnosed with C-PTSD#or maybe he has a burgeoning personality disorder but you aren't supposed to DX those too early anyway#or maybe hes just 13. see what i mean hahaha. ive reached the 30 tag limit
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okay i'm still very awake so you're all gonna have to deal with me red-stringing about character bullshit until i fall asleep. i Know i'm making a big post about this but i don't care
why. this is the first instance of mark being designated as the one in charge when a higher-up (fred, in this case) isn't present. but why. they were only trapped in the slipspace fuckeryzone for a few days relative to normal space-time and i don't think anything drastic happens (with these guys) in glasslands? at least according to the wiki it doesn't. why did being integrated into blue team suddenly disrupt team saber's former command structure?
did they plan to kill mark off at the very start of this? was this all a long game to give mark enough of a foothold as an Important Character to make his death have more impact? does troy denning just like him more? how much weight did his personal preferences even play in this? why do the gammas suddenly start bantering when they're in danger and alone with a woman they just met? why do mark and ash seem to switch personalities every other chapter? why is this worse than i remember it being when i first read it a few months ago?
#this is only partially shitposting#the more i flip back and forth between all these books the weirder it gets#i know i'm reading too far into what's probably trivial nonsense#but boy oh boy do i want to make it make sense#also. there's a one-braincell quota for every denning novel#and only one character is allowed to have it at a time#listen. they're not Bad to read#they're mostly fun if you overlook the fact that highly-intelligent spartans#would PROBABLY not be clueless about the basics of forensic procedure#i don't even mind that mark is the one in charge in this era of novels#i like mark#but i want the Why#and i want to see the Why on ash's side of it too#tbh the boring answer is just. everyone agreed this was an acceptable direction#for the characters to go. and that was that#i mean halo canon continuity is a mess already given everyone who's contributed#but. gestures helplessly#ash reads halo#ash goes fucking insane reading halo#that should be the tag for these#can anyone tell what kind of day i've had?#can anyone hear me#halo#halo books#gamma company#mark g313#book: last light#character analysis hell tag#essay reference tag
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You see, Moe isn't in the business of fixing people, *remembers Moe is quite literally in the business of "fixing" people as a healer* *stares out into yhe fucki g
#moe tag#this was gonna be an analysis about the fact that it acknowledges it can't 'fix' people#the best it can do is offer a little respite.#god there are actually so many angles this post can go. there's the kind one like above#there's the next best thing it can do is atone for being alive#there's the next NEXT best thing it can do is have gay sex about it.#none of these are solutions.#god i want to write up a moe/lif dynamic post so bad. it is so disastrous. but also REALLY hard for me to put into words#but i'm also def waning i am SO CLOSE. to finishing that comic. it might all be worth it#i've got another one. next best thing moe can do is make the situation Worse.#i don't know if i have anything left in me today but like. i want to talk about moe/lif so bad.#they just suck ass. both of them. worst anyone has ever done it in complete opposite ways.#moe lore
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soooooo. fable lying to ic about knowing what the reaver can do, huh?
#“it can remove immortality but perhaps it could have other uses as well” dude. fable. *fable*#you told ven a bit ago this exactly - ���If embedded for a duration#it can pull godly energy from someone.“#you know for a fact it can do other thing#“but i worry id remove the god power entirely” no you don't. *no you dont*#thats literally what you want to do.#many you. mmmmmm /pos#vod wathcing to collect thoughts for the analysis post is going great guys :)))#i am. not even 5 minutes into (the lore part of) this vod-#thoughts and feelings man /pos#icarus morningstar#sherbertquake56#fable smp#fsmp#a tag to help find my own posts
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"If you ship these characters together at all you've fundamentally misunderstood the plot of the story"
Bro I get this if like. It's a case where people genuinely are misunderstanding the story
But like bro you know shipping is inherently neutral and doesn't necessarily tell you anything about how someone interprets a piece of media, right?
You know that people who ship something don't always want the thing to be canon, right?
You know that people shipping something doesn't change canon
Right?
#Also as someone who is very very acquainted with the feeling of people interpreting a piece of media violently wrong AND saying that two#characters not only should or are basically canon‚ even in cases when it just straight up is a misunderstanding to say that it could#canonically happen#You have got to try to make peace with the fact that this will happen#Even in a fandom where you agree with 99 out of 100 people there will be one person out there who interprets the thing wildly wrong and#confidently asserts they're right#And from experience the best way to deal with this is by posting your interpretation out there and finding some likeminded folks‚ actively#try not to go out of your way to antagonize or be condescending to the people you disagree with (in this case interacting with them or‚#tagging posts so they will see it)‚ and just block the people#You will never be free from ships you don't like or people who “have bad taste'' but making a post just to paint an entire ship as#inherently awful is not the way to handle it#anyways you shall be receiving no context for this post other than tumblr showing me discourse outside of my hyperfixation circle#And me enjoying an analysis post I saw only for it to lead up to an unnecessary 'X shippers die and have bad media literacy' as a punchline#fandom wank#i just be ramblin
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What a good episode. Maaaaaan
#I can't even start I'd be here forever#It did take me in fact like one hour total to watch it lmoa. It sooooo good!!! The animation is very good#(albeit it's awfully low on brightness at times. But such seems to be the sin of lot of recent media unfortunately)#but I'm not even going to dwell on that. The plot / storytelling is so good. Sooooo god. I adore this arc.#Love the symbolism. I've been saying this for almost two years now (is it really been that long ever since these episodes came out... ) but#I want to write an analysis on the op & ed so baddd. The emphasis on the twilight this episode!!#Like the sun was setting on the detective agency. I love love love the hd. They're so cool in this episode and they're so cool in general.#I ADORE Jouno. I don't feel particularly strongly for sue/giku yet their scenes are so cute and funny. I see why people ship them.#Even Tetchou I don't usually care much about is so !!!!! I love all the hd so much fr!!!!!!!!!!#I love love love Jouno. Like much like it is for Akutagawa I'm very weak for characters that aren't really good people.#But they're still trying to be a better person than they were. And oftentimes they end up doing a terrible job!!#But the fact alone that they're //trying// has me ougheueueueu. Here in this episode you can see Jouno–#sliping very easily in his cruel / sadistic habits. But he is trying to be a person that cares for others! He made good actions in the past#and he will again in the future even though right now he's acting like this! Because improvement isn't linear! I love him tonsss#And DON'T get me started on the ada. Yosano's “Welcome” scene. I love women. I love women. Yosano please one chance#KENJI'S SCENE God I needed this. How could I forget the way this literllyyyyy rewinded my brain when I read the manga for the first time.#That scene is so deep and poignant and so so meaningful I. Oughhh#I am going to run out of tags am I not#Kyouka saving Atsushi!!!!!!! That scene is one of my all time favourites. It makes me soft to remember when the s4 trailer dropped–#I was so overjoyed for that bit of them holding hands :') Rightfully so!!! It's so cute.#Her coming back to save Atsushi. The “don't worry– I didn't kill them” direct towards Atsushi–#that is so so Akutagawa and it sends me insane hhhhhhgggggggggg#Kunikida!!!!! His “I'm not leaving anyone behind”!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not precisely Kunikida's first fan but aaaaaahhh he makes me feel–#so much for him in this scene!!!!! Mmmhhh one last note would be. It bugs me a little how the ada is defined terrorist by the military–#forces starting this episode? I don't have space to elaborate properly but. An action to be considered terrorism must have clear political–#orientation and goal. Violence alone isn't enought to be defined terrorism. It's an incorrect use of the word#Up to the next episode!!! Can't wait to see more Atsushi 🥰🥰#random rambles#It's late now and probably most are asleep rn... Then I'll be queing my posts for tomorrow probably
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this thesis is gonna fucking kill me, this is fucking comparable to sitting through pchem and fluid mechanics back when in my second year of undergrad.
(pchem lectures mostly consisted of me quietly crying in lecture halls and thinking "fuck this shit i'd rather be unemployed and homeless than work with this shit i'd legit rather be unemployed" on repeat for 2 hours at a time. fluid mechanics wasn't difficult in hindsight and both the lecturer and the TAs were fucking amazing but it took me three semesters to finish that course, there was just something about it that prevented my brain from getting any work done /at all/, only in that one course)
my brain is significantly less efficient at getting anything done than it was back then, too. like i know there's a simple solution to this R problem i've been trying to solve for the past 3 days, i've found a couple of stackoverflow pages that look very close to what i'm looking for, but somehow my brain refuses to look at the code and actually /process/ what it's looking at so that i can copy it and change two lines and have my problem solved
...sigh.
/rant
#the fact that i've liked every job i've had /without/ this degree isn't helping like at all#like i'll be overqualified for the stuff i wanna do#and i don't really wanna do the jobs this degree would help me get#but i've wasted so much time on this and i'm like 3 weeks away from graduating or something#...sigh#like i've always hated coding. ever since high school. even the really basic shit#i used to think maybe i could learn but i just have less and less brainpower as i get older and it's. not helpful.#i never would have done this project if i knew how much fucking data analysis i would have to do.#and that they wouldn't let me use my excel-fu /or/ provide any guidance on what R packages might be helpful for what#:))))#herr's personal tag
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Do you think in-universe that there's actual pokemon levels? If so, how do they measure it? And if not, how do they keep things like the battle facilities level-capped? I remember you mentioning before that you think battles are largely for show, and that in gym battles the leaders/trainers will basically "fight down" to whatever predetermined strength level they've trained their pokemon to fight at depending on how many badges a person has. And that basically they're not actually "fainting" from some kid's baby pokemon, they just have a set amount of damage they can take before they concede the win. Assuming I'm remembering correctly anyway.
But like... are those standards just arbitrary? I assume the various Leagues have rules about that kinda thing, so their gym leaders and Elite Four/Champions are trained rigorously (gym leaders more so, I think, because they'd have to learn eight different levels of difficulty by heart, whereas the Four and Champion only need to abide by one difficulty level). But in a battle facility or tournament, you're not just limiting what your pokemon are allowed to do, you're also somehow making sure that your opponents are doing the same, at the exact same difficulty level. If there were actual levels I think that'd be easier (although I'm still not sure of the actual mechanics of how it'd force them down to level 50 or whatever), but if there's no levels and it's all arbitrary, then literally how would they even tell or enforce it?
Or is this the kinda thing that's just me entirely overthinking video game mechanics that have no logical or reasonable in-universe explanation. Because maybe it's just because it's really late here, but I'm drawing a blank. Although, I guess the pokemon universe does have some mind-bogglingly advanced tech that would in no way work in ours, like Bill's machine that turned him into a clefairy or a functional doomsday device 4,000 years before the modern era or even just the PC system as a whole, so I guess if there are levels it'd make sense that there was some kind of tech that could measure and suppress them?
oooh, really tough question.
so your first paragraph summary is basically right lol—what makes most sense to me is if pokemon battles are like, for show, or honor duel type things, where they're—generally speaking—stopped long before the point where either party would do lasting harm to the other. (there are exceptions, like in the case of frenzied alphas or other certain wild battles, but usually if it's not a scenario that is legitimately life or death, they're not gonna fight like it is.) it's just a matter of demonstrating that one is stronger, and their opponent conceding. & yeah, the corollary that goes along with that is that gym leaders and other high level fighters really are, as they rightly should be, much more powerful at a baseline than you are when you fight them—but to make the fight fairer, they'll try to match strengths with you.
levels though. yeah, it's kind of a toughie. even if you don't assume the above, levels are kind of tough to make coherent in-universe. this might just be one of those situations where game mechanics sort of run up against inworld depiction, yeah, like when an npc tells you to press the B button to run? or the apparent metaphysical law of reality preventing anyone from having more than 6 pokemon on their team at once. it might be that in reality, "strength levels" (inc. not just xp levels but also EVs/IVs and that kind of thing, since some trainers (ingo again) have also shown that they can modulate those) are just sort of a thing a high-level trainer and their team gets a general feel for as they advance, and then maybe they have to do some extra training to actually do the moderation, but the general sense for different strength levels is already there. like, maybe it's not as granular as "okay, now be level 37," it's just "yeah put in like... 40% of your normal effort. great."
but then yeah, the idea that there's no hard and fast rule for it makes stuff like the battle subway kind of hard to explain. since like, there's no way to actually stop someone from cheating and going over 50, and if they do there's no actual Numbers for them to point to and say "no, you've gotta take it back a bit." they can only rely on vibes to determine whether someone isn't strength scaling appropriately? that seems like they wouldn't be a fan of that.
on the other hand i do love the idea that modern day pokemon people have invented some kind of machine that can just scan your pokemon and output a bunch of numerical summaries of their general stats. ooh, maybe that's one of the things a pokemon center machine is doing when you heal, it's giving them a lil blip and updating their info chip in the pokeball-or-however-it-works with their latest info. if it was anything that was actually enforcing a level standard i think it would have to be based around that, since modern pokemon are at least partially data based and i think it would make some kind of sense to be able to sort of. put checks on that data.
alternately, there's no actual physical limitations, it's just that if you try that you will be kicked out of whatever you're participating in. and there would probably be like, sports news drama about it, depending on whether you were participating in some kind of tournament. so people generally don't bc the payoffs of winning once aren't worth it when it's so immediately obvious to everyone that they're breaking the rules. (there could even be some kind of like, known scammer's/cheater's art of trying to just barely toe the line of "rule-breakingly strong" without anyone being able to strictly prove it and punish them for it. but for the most part that's more investment than people want to do for not a lot of gain, it's easier to just fight normally)
...but then the thing you always circle back around to when talking abt this is like. from the battle subway forwards, you're not just going down to 50, they can make you go up to 50 too. which is like, how the fuck, even. how are they juicing the fuck out of my level 20 starter to make them match with everyone else. which is why i feel like there might not be any physical in-world numbers about it, and it's just a matter of it being accepted that both opponents should play down to whatever the weakest party member is, and 50 happens to be the standard level the games represent that as for ease of calculation.
-ok wait a second i just went to check and according to bulba in post-bw games, like in the battle maison and further, they stop doing that scale-up-to-50 thing. it's just the fucking battle subway that does that?? hi?? hello?? out of universe i guess this makes sense from a gameplay perspective, since they're a much earlier-game and generally more accessible facility than other regions, so it's actually unlikely that a player would have a level 50 team when first boarding. in-universe, though?? what the hell are you guys doing over there???
#the nemesis speaks#the nemesis answers#anonymous#fuck i know i just threw it in there at the end of a really long ramble but can we talk about that#the level 50 thing. can we talk about it actually.#like you're telling me that other facilities just DON'T. DO THAT.#it's just them. being outliers??#but that's also the implication to me that like#most of these facilities are like. aggressively high end competitive things#for people who could at least challenge MOST of their region's gyms. and generally they're postgame areas#but the battle subway was like fuck that. do you have a pokemon? you're golden hop on board#what if the lil preschoolers that fight you on the subway really are just like.#kids on their way home from school hopping on the train with their level 10 partners for fun#hides my face in my hands#AND THEN BULBA WENT OFFLINE SO NOW I CAN'T FACT CHECK ANY OF THIS FURTHER#live with it#oh shit almost forgot#pla analysis#ah yes. because this involves pla so heavily (that's just my general pkm analysis tag atp)
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in all my years on tumblr, i have never had a viral post, except for now, and despite that it's not that viral, i see now why people turn off reblogs
#kat chats#i was always like! it can't be that annoying#turns out. IT CAN#there's something very frustrating about watching people like. Twist My Words in real time#that's what annoys me#it's not even the notes it's the like. watching people be anti plantcest on a post that isn't against that reading#because i was doing text analysis#and quite frankly in my opinion the text points to incest on knives's half; i personally do not think vash reciprocates this#in fact i think it horrifies him#if the fact that you know. knives raping him in ep11 was anything to go by#so when people like. actively ignore that part of the text like. it bothers me already#but it REALLY bothers me when someone comes on my post and is like 'don't make it weird'#like sorry--knives ALREADY makes it weird#like i'm not really into the kv stuff where vash becomes knives's prize or like. knives deserves him--that crosses a line for me#and i'm not rly into the fluffy content for them#but 1) i will defend somebody's right to make art to the bitter end and 2) i cannot stress enough that nai is doing this to himself#like idk. if people were arguing on my posts that kv is true love i'd also be annoyed but not a single plantcest guy has done that#instead i mostly see people equivocating vash and nai which i disagree with but that's a different discussion#anyways. i have seen some good tags and replies on the post so i want it to keep moving#but 8) i am getting to a point boys. i am Getting to a Point
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did a rlly quick 2-3 hour analysis of a poem that isnt great but i like the poem quite a lot and also i want it on record that i actually (almost) finished this one before midnight and so i didn't start the second one tomorrow so i am technically on schedule.
poem:
there is a description of the page as well as the text in the ID of the image, and under the cut is the full poem and the link at the bottom of the page to a video of the author reading it, as well as my (pretty shit, but unedited) analysis of the poem.
What I Will
I will not dance to your war drum I will not lend my bones nor my soul to your war drum
I will not dance to your beating I know that beat it is lifeless
I know intimately that skin you are hitting it was alive once hunted stolen stretched
I will not dance to your drummed up war I will not pop spin break for you I will not hate for you or even hate you
I will not kill for you especially I will not die for you I will not mourn the dead with murder nor suicide I will not side with you or dance to bombs because everyone is dancing everyone can be wrong
Life is a right not collateral or casual I will not forget where I come from
I will craft my own drum gather my beloved near and our chanting will be dancing our humming will be drumming
I will not be played I will not lend my name nor my rhythm to your beat I will dance and resist and dance and persist and dance
This heartbeat is louder than death Your war drum ain't louder than this breath.
the link is either here, or you can copy and paste the link:
https://blog.ted.com/text-of-what-i-will-by-suheir-hammad/
admittedly pretty bad and rlly squished analysis (good luck reading my handwriting):
if u want to bother good luck reading my handwriting but pls ignore the end of the summary i dont want to elaborate on something i wont even get to use as notes so i stuff it in my head.
and also yes i know i need to fix the subject matter bit.
i probably wont even use half of this and it also will probably just be glanced over but idk detail bc JUST IN CASE-
#archive#kat's rambles#What I Will#what i will by suheir hammad#poetry#amateur poetry#<- thats not hammad whos the amateur. she's amazing. it's me. im the idiot#uhhhh-#english#poetry analysis#quotes#vague weird english things#idk how to tag i never will#idk have some of my english homework for a surprise jumpscare essay#we were told we apparently have an essay tmr (friday) on wednesday when I WASN'T THERE-#and bc it was a double period yesterday i missed both of what were meant to be the prep lessons#we dont even get to know what the essay question is aside from something about poetry#and we were told 'choose 2 of the poems we've studied-' (idk what my teacher was talking about but we did. in fact. nOT STUDY MOST OF THEM-#'-and annotate them and fill out this sheet as a scaffold for the analysis. oh. and you can't take these sheets into your essay.'#so we 1. dont know the question to answer and 2. have to (admittedly shittily. but thats a me problem) analyse 2 poems that we didn't STUDY#and take notes and memorise quotes and techniques and shit for them#to answer a question WE DON'T KNOW-#k im done now.#beyeeeeyeyyeye <3
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The way my own brain tries to sabotage my attempt at obtaining a healthier relationship with food is astonishingly irritating, mostly due to being so unbelievably illogical.
When my body started screaming about being ravenously hungry approximately two hours ago, my brain sent out an immediate, automated, unrepliable response along the lines of "No food necessary. You can't possibly be hungry, you've not even done anything today".
As if I haven't been up for, what, 11 hours, majority of which trying to internalize everything I possibly can regarding my new job, on just two cups of coffee and a small bowl of pasta. As if thinking and learning new things wouldn't require energy.
Or no, in fact, as if the task of having sustained the bodily functions of an actual real life person for the past 30 years including today couldn't possibly require more energy than whatever is in 100 grams of white pasta with trace amounts of feta cheese and olive oil, a couple of cherry tomatoes, and maybe a desilitre of oat milk.
As if I would somehow (how????) need to earn the right to, what, keep sustaining said bodily functions? In the eyes of whom, my own brain? Surely not that brain, the one that is in fact included in those bodily functions that apparently aren't significant enough to deserve to go on uninterrupted??
Like does this brilliant brain of mine seriously believe that starving myself is somehow an option that leads to a good outcome? Have we not seen enough logical proof against that? Have we not read enough articles about the ineffectiveness and dangers of diet culture?
And if reading about it really is not enough: have we not been doing that for the past 15 years with whatever is the the opposite of success? How fucking long do we have to keep repeating the same fucking behaviour before accepting the fact that it is not fucking working??????
#unspecified and undiagnosed eating disorders#unhealthy eating habits#under read more bc i know how triggering this topic can be and because i'm not sure how to tag this#but yeah it only took me half an hour or so to wake up to my very own gaslighting and now i'm waiting for my dinner to cook#i hate having to learn how to eat at 30 years old#against a brain that's hellbent on believing whatever bullshit it's internalized re obesity and health#apparently also against a brain that doesn't necessarily want us to stay alive? which i guess shouldn't feel so much like a surprise#with my history#anyway this is such a fucking boring thing to learn#i could be learning to play an instrument#or a new language#or to improve my literary analysis skills#or literally anything fun and interesting#but no#here i am trying to learn how to keep myself alive as if 30 years shouldn't be enough time to learn that#i guess i should focus on the fact that i did catch these thought processes though#instead of blaming myself for things i struggle with regardless of whether they are my own fault or not#and instead of comparing my struggles to those i see and don't see affecting other people#also it just now dawned on me that i've now spent two hours obsessing over the ways in which i struggle taking care of myself#in no productive way#bye gotta go decide what to do with the rest of my evening
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NGL, I was 99% hundred percent confident these two didn't experience sexual attraction until the exact moment in the show that that last gif shows. Either I'm projecting or that is a hungry dom
"I want a proper apology."
The dramatic “apology dance”
In the entirety of Season 2, I think the “apology dance” scene is pretty close to my favorite.
The way Crowley walks in like he’s entering a stage in a packed theater.
The way Azi clearly sees him coming and fusses himself up to look extra focused on his work and not at all excited about Crowley’s return.
Crowley, noticing that Azi has yet to look at him, ramps up the drama by:
Whipping off his glasses (taking off his armor)
Response from Azi? Clears his throat and focuses harder on his work.
Time for Level 2 Drama, it seems.
Stalking over to the table (no sauntering here)
Tossing the glasses down (looks casual but absolutely isn’t)
Ringing that little bell (like a ceremonial gong signaling “this is fucking happening”)
Walking back into the rotunda where he has maximum visibility (also maximum vulnerability)
Azi now has no choice but to react, which he does by slowly looking up and over at Crowley, who looks like the human-shaped embodiment of dread.
Finally announcing “I’m back” like the bitchy customer who just yesterday had declared they were never shopping here again
I mean, wow. Amazing. Glorious.
Not to be outcunted, Azi just casually turns back to his work and practically hums, “Yes. I can see that.”
Damn, Aziraphale, did you take lessons in passive aggression from my mother?
Now Crowley groans in a way that I felt to my core and asks, “Do you want a big, ‘I think I said the wrong thing,’ sort of an apology, or can we take that as said?”
He averts his eyes until the last second because this probably feels more demeaning than begging Azi not to do his magic act at Warlock’s birthday part.
Still turned away, Azi replies in a tone that is a mix of hurt and guilt that makes me think this has been coming for awhile. "I'd like the apology actually." I bet you would, Angel.
Back to Crowley, he pauses to assess his options, takes a deep breath, and says the magic words: “You were right.” Also looks like he almost says something else but either doesn’t know what to say or doesn’t want to say it.
Oh wow, so convincing. Bravo.
Finally, Azi puts down his glasses and his work and turns to address Crowley. He is not happy.
“Not good enough. I want a proper apology.” Also, side note, but Michael Sheen’s voice here is just…yum.
Before Azi can finish, Crowley is so quick to reject this idea. “No.” with a shake of the head.
You're not winning this battle, Crowley, and you know it.
“With the little dance.” Azi’s voice perks up and his eyes brighten at the hope this will happen. Seize that opportunity!
Again, Crowley barely let’s the word “dance” come out before he tries to shut it down. “I don’t do the dance.” Nope, no sir, not this demon.
Oh no, now Azi’s anger joins the hurt and guilt for a vicious trifecta. “I did the ‘I was wrong’ dance in 1650, 1793, 1941…” each date being spat out with increasing amounts of venom.
Oh Crowley, you brought this on yourself, girl.
This non-apology combined with his “I'm sorry. I apologize. Whatever I said, I didn’t mean it. Work with me, I’m apologizing here. Yes? Good. Get in the car.” and I can see why Azi reacts to this the way he does.
Crowley knows he’s beaten and concedes with a “Fine!” that feels the very opposite of the word.
Okay so before the “proper apology” can begin, Azi gets up from his chair, straightens his waistcoat, and stands with his hands grasped in front of him like a proper gentleman. A properly petty gentleman.
Then the main attraction! Crowley, looking completely stone-faced, does “the little dance.”
It’s wonderful. He looks so silly and childish and graceful and mature. And god, that deep knee bend at the end? Amazing.
Also amazing is Crowley’s face when he says "Kay?” while bobbing his head and eyebrows back like a sassy rooster? *chef’s kiss*
For Azi’s part, god it is just a delicious mix of polite poker face and barely concealed thirst. I see your eyes scanning Crowley, drinking in that thin, dark Duke. That little dance will live in his head forever.
And that’s the signal to go back to normal! Crowley regains control and Azi falls back into the supporting role.
Long-term relationships are hard, yo.
#I still am raging at the fact that Crowley's apologies only happen when he is#in fact#NOT WRONG#But that said#this take is totally correct that when he DOES apologize it is lame-ass#michael sheen is a genius#David tennant is also a genius but I don't have a tag for that#aziraphale#crowley#good omens#meta analysis#gifset#text post#good omens spoilers
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legitimate question ....... why do people like to tell me all the reasons they don't like miraculous ladybug? i know i complain about the fact a lot, and i find myself on the defensive a lot, and i keep telling myself i'll stop and let it go, but it really is hard when people are always coming onto my posts, in my replies, in my comments, on my art and my fics and my text posts and anything i make, and telling me blatantly all the ways that they don't like the thing that i so blatantly find enjoyment in. "the show is bad". okay? good for you? why are you on my post about it? why don't you make your own? why are you telling me, specifically, this, on the art/fic/analysis i made that i assume you found by searching through the tag?
it's kind of a behavior that i legitimately don't understand. I'm a human being and I hate a lot of things, too. there are things i've loved at first and been disappointed by and have strong opinions about. there are things i like to complain about. so i'll complain about them to my friends or my family or my cat. but i have never, once, not even for a single moment, thought, "oh let me go into the tags of this media, find a positive post about it written by someone who's having fun with it, and make it that random stranger's problem". never once.
i just don't get it. i really don't get it. i sometimes worry that i come across like i'm heavily critical of people who just personally don't like the show, when really i'm just trying to defend my interests to the droves of strangers who are always coming specifically to me to tell me all the ways they hate the thing that makes me happy.
just.......... why? where does the urge come from? what do you get out of this?
#i remember there was a poll a while back asking people if they thought it was ok to tell ml fan creators that you hate the show unprompted#and 'yes' won#and i am still baffled by that#why is this normal?#why would you even want to?#why is it impossible to be an artist/creator on the internet without having to deal with people bitching and moaning in your ear about the#things that you are dedicating your time and energy into for fun?#why is this the acceptable online culture?#you don't have to like the show. im not saying that. im not saying you cant complain or vent#im just saying. why TO ME?#buggachatter
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i love these tags this person is so right
actually, can you imagine if dave was raised by B1 roxy?
i wanna get into this actually
(ok i had to spend a few hours rewriting this because IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE AFTER FIVE HOURS OF WRITING WHEN MY COMPUTER UPDATED WHILE I WAS AFK so it would mean a lot to show this post some appreciation. i LOVEEE hearing what other people have to say)
even though these things mom does are presented in an extravagant, kitsch, jokey way, her intentions always came from a place of sincerity. she is simply Funnie
but rose reads too far into it and assumes things that aren't there, that her mother is passive-aggressively feigning interest in rose's interests simply because the things she does are so extra. "why do all of this if not to mock me"
im telling you right now if dave lived in this household he wouldn't assume antagonism, he'd go,
don’t forget who LITERALLY patented tangible jpeg artifacts as their post-scratch adult self and scattered shitty scummed up statue of liberties all over the planet. theres no way some of that overboard artful shit wasnt post-ironic / circling back around to genuine funny sincerity
dave's natural state is funny sincerity like roxy. he's had the natural capacity for this type of humor from the start and this is the direction he goes towards when he grows out of his brother's shadow by the end of the comic. dave and roxy share an earnest “so bad its good” type of humor
(lots more under the cut; the length of this meta analysis just got unwieldly with all the pictures and whatnot)
despite the alcoholism, roxy is a supportive mother. she's not the ideal guardian but hells of a lot more supportive of her kid than bro is. if she knew dave's interests she would totally indulge in them with some over the top silly goofy haha shit as a genuine gesture simply because she loves him
rose isn't too keen on it though. but she is more similar to dirk in her natural state of thinking of overthinking shit and assuming the worst, like the tags said
and yes dave got the sweet cuddly yet sometimes backhanded ouppy gene from roxy, probably even moreso lol
roxy's even said rose "sounds like girl dirk"
side tangent here, but this is something i wanna talk about.
i dont think bro should ever be in custody of children ever but if theres anyone who would be up to the task it's rose probably. i know she'd be able to keep up with him. not only does she have a defined personality (dave is more malleable and absorbs his environment like a sponge), if anyone can pick apart B1 dirk's batshit brain and probably be right on the money it's her. lil cal has been pumping patriarchal nonsense into bro's head and rose would be able to bring the fucking facts to the table without losing her own and being a living example of a badass little girl. i also don't think bro would try to force masculine roles onto rose like he did with dave, seeing as she is a girl, so she would actually have more of a leg up and get some passes that dave was never afforded. and rose wouldn't stand idly and accept any bullshit; she is no doormat. and i think this would earn bro's respect
but anyway, from this, couldn't we conclude roxy "sounds like girl dave"?
yeah okay. we havent even gotten into their penchant for funny typos or misspeaks, deliberate or otherwise
so, dave's environment
the sentiment "god you hope you can be as good as your bro at this some day" might have been genuine at the time when he idolized bro but of course he's not able to express that in any sort of sincere fashion because he's in dirk's fucking household. and this level 10 irony shit isnt doing dave any favors
his role models were the Internet and a vague idea of what Bro was like. So he built up his facade based on irony–not the literary definition of irony, as Rose might be quick to point out, but a popular concept of irony based on the idea that things that didn’t make sense actually made sense in some roundabout way. As a master of irony, Dave probably reasoned, he could see in a way other people couldn’t why a world that was scary and didn’t make sense really did make sense, and could therefore convince those people that he was superior to them. And he would wield his knowledge to maintain the appearance of superiority by calling everything ironic and pretending he didn’t care about things that didn’t make sense, and he would use walls of vaguely rhyming words to keep everyone at arm’s length so they wouldn’t discover his insecurities (source)
roxy's style is the embodiment of post-irony. being raised by mom lalonde would be like being raised by joel vinesauce ok
what can i say ….. (getting meta about this actually, hussie got these jpeg wizard wallpapers from a spyware website. link takes some time to load because internet archive)
rose is quick to read post-irony as actually being a joke/insincere, which in bro's case would be true. but i believe dave's natural instinct, outside of the influence of bro, is to read post-irony as genuine, which is exactly how mom serves it. we see this as early as act 3 from him; he understands her motives better than rose does herself:
and in act 6 intermission 2 i think it's pretty clear
but the thing is, it's always genuine from her. dave wouldn't have to second guess it because he's not one to naturally second guess someone's sincerity; that was learned due to his bro being virtually unassailable
there two types of ironies at play here:
seems like a joke, is actually genuine (roxy)
doesnt seem like a joke, is actually a joke (dirk)
you can make the argument that the second is is more psychologically destructive because it makes you question the reality of what is genuine sentiment and what isn't. dave never knew what was genuine and what was irony so he just sort of existed in this sincerity-ironic limbo and always did the opposite of what he genuinely felt on principle even if it always did originate from a genuine place.
"it just a joke bro i was just being ironic i dont actually x" is so much more trust-breaking and psychologically damaging than "wait are you being serious" / "i am being so fucking fr rn davy gravy" / "ok thats actually pretty fucking awesome. giant ass wizard statue" / "RIGHT"
how much about dave would change do you think? his character arc would be completely different for one thing, i think he'd have it good aside from mom's alcohol issues. he'd be left with the sweet and funny parts of him that we see at the end of the comic. the fake coolguy stuff is out, but this remains. this is dave in his element and we see it as early as act 1
he'd probably have no shades growing up in the lalonde residence* either cause those were given to him by bro straight out of the crater as an extension of his own cool image. and john gave dave ben stiller’s aviators for his 13th birthday to replace them so he could “spread his wings”
dave said he was wearing them for the ironies but i kind of doubt it. maybe post-irony but there was some reacharound to it being genuine because dave never put those pointy anime shades on his face again.
*though... it’s kind of hard to imagine him without his shades at all? B2 dave still got stiller’s shades from stiller himself so maybe getting them is a universal constant. i can imagine mom getting him them as a birthday gift cause shes pretty wealthy and probably could buy it out in an auction. but also itd be cool if john still gave him it as a gift
dave is actually a lot more genuine and easy to read than he lets on even when grappling with his upbringing with B1 dirk (again, see this post). this can be seen all throughout he comic but a good example is the evolution of thoughts about his interest in the preserved dead things in his room:
if B1 roxy was dave's guardian he probably WOULD have pursued paleontology because she wouldve indulged him in it and probably find it cool and worthwhile to pursue, instead of allowing dave to flounder under ironic detachment, being poisoned by irony to the point of gaslighting himself into believing he doesnt actually believe he thinks this shit is cool. even if it was indulged in this such a way; a superficially kitsch and ironic appearing presentation, it comes from a genuine place and inspires genuine interest. just read the comments.
basically, i think if B1 roxy raised dave, their relationship would have a surface level appearance of being bizarre or over-the-top but they’d have an unsaid mutual understanding that it’s completely in earnest and just build on each other's funny and absurd gestures of affection. rather than seeing it as one-upping each other, it'd more like collaboration of some silly bullshit that you take a step back and look at full and just say, "fucking incredible"
speaking of paleontology, mom had the proto-ectobiology lab. maybe they'd be able to use the equipment to appearify paradox ghost imprints of the dead shit to create paradox clones of things from the cambrian era??? sounds like a fun mother son bonding activity. and theyd actually put the sciencey shit in the household to use
oh god i know exactly the kinds of music shed listen too also growing up as a teen in the 80s. she on that (post)-punk/art rock/new wave/new romantic mtv stuff. XTC shit fr. this is a B-52S HOUSEHOLD. maybe the associates for the campy melodramatic flair. so he gets to keep the record on his shirt cause he is an enjoyer of the shit in her vinyl collection. dave would still gravitate towards musical expression and music itself but of more variety outside of just rap, with an 80s-90s, even 70s flavor due to mom’s influence. see this for perhaps a glimpse. she probably visited new york city a lot for business trips and because the music scene was cool as hell around that time, imports came straight from jfk airport, she probably got in on that a bit and have remnants in the form of vinyls and cassettes. in this way she could be distributing void to dave (influencing him with forgotten / presently irrelevant music). now he can REALLY rave about bands none of his friends have heard of. “hey davy grvay watcha listenin to” (he holds up vinyl cover) “omg snakefinger”
btw dave lalonde would look like this to me
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