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lunarxcity · 1 month ago

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Why Choose? (Part IX to Why me?)

azriel x rhys' sister! reader

angst/eventual comfort (Eris, Azriel, and Jealousy. Do I need to say more?)

Summary: When you walk in on Azriel and Elain the mating bond snaps leading you to flee to Autumn with Eris so you can be free of Azriel. Your absence causes Azriel to come to some drastic realisations, but is it already too late and has your time in Autumn led to you moving on?

Parts I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, and VIII if you missed them!

You wake up cold, like a blanket has been ripped off of you in your sleep. You see a blanket is laid over your shoulders and then the previous night comes rushing back to you.

You blew up at Azriel for his lack of remorse over the years for the way he's treated you, how he's made you feel second to those in his life. You held it together and didn't accidentally reveal to him everything that he was to you both in title and feeling.

You were still upset with Azriel, a single conversation isn't going to patch up hundreds of years of heartache, but this was progress. He apologised to you and from the tears that had left his eyes, you knew that he meant it.

Your cheeks begin to heat up when you remembered how your night had ended and the phantom feeling of a scarred had pressed against your cheek. You looked to your left and saw that your desk chair had been moved right beside your bed, so he had stayed for a while and had left.

There's a part of you that wished he had stayed. The part that is fighting against you to tell him everything and to tug on the bond and convince him to be yours, but you know that you deserve much better than trying to convince someone to want you. At your most desperate you might have entertained the idea, but not now, not after everything.

The hurt from watching him pine after another woman so clearly in front of you was something you couldn't get out of your system. The image burned into your mind, and the feelings burned into your heart. Twice had this happened with members of your family and not once had you been the one to be the subject of his obsession.

He apologised. He said everything was over with Elain and he's been over Mor for years. The longer you dwell on it, the further you let yourself stray into that dark place the farther you will be from Azriel.

You decided to put the thoughts of inadequacy away. You were so accomplished in your own right and what Azriel thinks or doesn't think doesn't affect that. So you decided to do what you do best and get back to work. You got up and started getting ready for your day filled with productivity and emptied from thoughts of the shadowsinger.

You had to fight your way out of the house of wind, your brother insisted that you needed at least a week to rest and recuperate before launching yourself right back into work. Your stubbornness is a trait that you and Rhys had always shared which drove your poor mother mad in your early years.

He tried to grab you, likely to throw you onto his shoulder and march you to Cauldron knows where telling you to go do something relaxing, but you evaded his grasp winnowing directly to the hall of healing.

The next thing you knew you were on the ground a potted tree beneath you and dirt all over the floor. Madja looked at you from her desk with all the patience she could muster.

Madja had been the royal healer as long as you could remember and probably long before that. She was almost family to you and Rhys and the closest thing to a maternal figure that you had left.

She was stern, but kind and the one thing she hated most of all was untidiness. This likely explained the scolding look she had on her face as you did just knock down one of her plants.

She lets out a sigh, but the warmth in her eyes betrays her. "I'm glad to see you're back, but you do know you're supposed to take a few days for yourself before jumping straight into work?"

You are suddenly a child again who broke your mother's vase trying to guiltily hide all the broken pieces that your life had know become. Madja knew you almost better than anyone, would she know about the whole ordeal of the mating bond and Azriel.

You give her an exaggerated smile, obviously trying to get back on her good side. "Well, I couldn't wait to see you."

You hold your arms out for a hug and she smiles back and brings you in to a tender embrace and for a moment everything is okay. She's stroking your hair and you feel like a kid again in the warmth of your mother's arms.

"Well I've missed you too." She leads you to her desk to begin your work since logistics always came first which meant that today would be a paperwork day.

Her back is turned and you follow her. She clears her throat and states, "It's always good to see you, even if you are using me as a distraction and an excuse from dealing with your mating bond with the shadowsinger."

Your face blanks and she gives you a sly smile. Shame on you for thinking you could get anything past her, this woman could have all of Velaris in her hand if she chose to.

"You knew?" You ask her, wondering what exactly had given it away.

She just smiles fondly, "My child I had always known. Me and your mother had placed bets on how long it would take for you two to finally come together."

At that you had a million questions you wanted to ask her, each one dancing on the tip of her tongue but she interrupts you before you could get a word in.

"I thought you came here for a distraction? This seems like quite the opposite from that." She gives you a knowing look and you nod in response.

"Yes so about the paperwork-"

FIrst day was exhausting. No real research was done, it was a purely paperwork day. Locating certain texts, registering you as Madja's apprentice, and ordering all that you would need to begin your work.

It seems like lounging around in Autumn had accustomed you to laziness because you were tired down to the bone. So tired you had barely been able to winnow, but you somehow winnowed yourself directly into your bed as it had been all you were able to think about.

You could lie down for 10-15 minutes and then you could go downstairs and scour the kitchen for food. You had stayed a lot later than intended, not realising that it was almost midnight and you were famished.

You forced your eyes open and they noticed an extra addition on your desk that had not been there when you left. You throw yourself onto your feet and trudge over. You see that you had been brought a plate of tonights dinner.

Meat and potatoes with greens and some sort of fragrant juice. You could almost cry at the sight. Your stomach roared and you sat down to eat.

It was still warm and you didn't want to think too much about who brought it here. You knew it wasn't the house because of the elaborate plating. The food sat on a silver tray dressed with a lace cloth, the napkins folded to perfection, and a silver goblet as accompaniment.

A singular white rose sat on the tray with a blue ribbon tied on it's stem; The color of renewal, forgiveness, and new beginnings. You knew this had to be Azriel's doing and the shadow that you saw scurrying off in the corner of your eye confirmed it.

You were frankly too tired and too hungry to do anything about it. If Azriel was trying to get in to your good graces through kind gestures it would take a lot more than that to smooth out everything between you two. For now you didn't dwell on it too much there was an eternity to be upset with him, you thanked him in your head and ate your dinner.

Much too tired to be bothered with anything else. You had changed into your nightclothes and threw yourself on the bed letting exhaustion take you over for the night.

Sleep finds you and she is restless as if trying to prove to you that Azriel's presence is a comforting blanket that gently guides you to her.

You are awakened by a loud crash from your balcony. Fear floods your system at the possibilities of who the intruder could be. How did they bypass the wards? Are they coming for you?

You shoot up as your balcony doors open to reveal the heir of Autumn in dark green pajamas, a brown robe, and slippers. If only your court could see him now, their fearsome enemy in fuzzy slippers with little puff balls for ears to make them resemble a bear.

Eris' room is right above yours and you thought that would stop him from dragging you into any late night antics. Apparently you were wrong as it is the perfect place to be to drop down onto your balcony in the middle of the night.

You know you look sleep haggered and you're too cranky to care. "What do I owe the pleasure of a visit from the heir of Autumn in his teddy bear slippers."

Eris retorts back with a scoff. "The bear is a formidable, fearsome, and very respected animal. Many consider me to bear the same qualities you know.'

His grin is filled with mischief and you are too tired to deal with him right now. "Do they same about the teddy bear because that's what your slippers are closer to resembling."

He looks offended and you launch a pillow at his face before he has a chance to retort.

"And to think I came here to bring you a gift." Your eyes immediately light up, curious as to what Eris could have possibly brought you.

He sighs, "I wanted to make sure you had a piece of Autumn here in the Night Court." He pulls out the fox you and Lucien had chased down on Solstice, the night that had started this all. Your first night in Autumn.

The fox nearly bites him and you laugh, "I can see why you wanted to give her back to me."

"Well, she might miss her siblings, so you will have to come back to Autumn in case she gets lonely.

He cracks a soft smile, so uncharacteristic to his malicious grins you've become accustomed to.

"Who knows after Beron is overthrown my court will have an open position for a Night Court princess and her moody fox should she ever want it. I'm talking about the fox of course."

You smile, "Oh yes I will definitely keep that in mind if she becomes too bored in Night. I am also talking about the fox of course."

Your touching moment was ruined by a soft knock on the door.

Eris looks at you with a shit-eating grin and he saunters to the door, "Well this was lovely princess, but I'm afraid your brooding mate is kicking me out. He's probably not too happy at my presence."

He is enjoying this way too much for your liking. That bastard.

He opens the door, and just like he says, the shadowsinger is standing there. Dark hair touseled as if he was harshly yanked from sleep and eyes rapidly scanning the room for any threats.

He meets Eris' gaze and you see shock and then pure disdain fills his eyes. He gives Eris a look so vile, you would have thought that he was going to put Eris to death for committing some heinous crime.

"Eris." His words at short and as sharp as the blade at his hip.

"I assume you were the intrusion that I heard." No smile. No even semblance of kindness or cordiality. Just pure anger? Disgust?

He looks at Azriel and then you and then back at Azriel. Still holding his smirk he goes, "I was just taking my leave."

He saunters out of the room hands in mock surrender. Thankfully deciding to take the door this time.

He closes the door behind him leaving you and Azriel alone since your emotional discussion? Arguement? You didn't even know what it was.

That teary emotional Azriel was very different from the Azriel currently in front of you. His face was set in the mask of the shadowsinger, the cold indifference that he shows the rest of the world.

You knew he wasn't Eris' biggest fan, but the shadowsinger was acting as if Eris had personally wronged him. Fully brooding it was almost comical that he would let Eris' presence affect him this much.

He clears his throat and blinks. The malice clears from his eyes and he's back to being your Azriel. Quiet and stoic at times yes, but not cruel never towards you.

He rakes you over with his eyes and exhales a sigh of relief. "Are you alright? I thought I heard you scream."

You don't remembering eliciting a sound at Eris' unexpected presence, but the fear may have clouded your memory.

You give him a reassuring nod. "Yes I am. Eris just just the worst time possible to give me my gift, you can go back to sleep now."

At the mention of a gift he begins to look over the room, trying to find the new addition. When suddenly your fox jumps on his back from the dresser.

The fox was accustomed to pouncing on your shadow and well Azriel was flanked by a whole lot of them. They were tightly worn up too, probably reflecting the state of their master. This made them that much more enticing to your fox who was now perched on Azriel's shoulder, swatting at the shadow's.

The shadowsinger was surprisingly unphased, he looked at the fox, shrugged, and just let the fox do this thing. Maybe it's true what they say about how the key to attracting animals is to not pay them any attention. If you could only tell that to your younger self who had chased wild bunnies to no avail.

The sight of sleepy Azriel, messy hair and forgotten shirt, holding your pet fox had stirred something in you. You try to convince yourself that it's the tiredness getting to you, but the most handsome male you have ever seen is shirtless in front of you playing with your pet fox it's basic math that you would be looking and looking you were.

The shadowsinger, all keen senses didn't even need to spare you a glance to know what you were doing. "You're staring." He informs you unceremoniously.

You cheeks heat up and you try to maintain your composure as much as someone who has just been caught unabashedly staring can.

"I had to make sure you didn't drop her. Call it a precaution...for her safety..." You cringe at your obvious attempt to cover up your actions.

"I didn't tell you to stop." His eyes shine with playfulness, it's a challenge he's never extended to you. What is going on?

The disbelief must have been written clean across your features because he gives you a small chuckle.

He goes on like he didn't say anything previously at all. "Now we wouldn't want anything bad to happen to her. Well anything else considering she already had to deal with Eris."

You were about to interrupt him telling him to be nice to Eris, he's a guest of this court, but he gently takes the fox off his shoulder and puts her in your arms.

Your hands brush, and you feel a jolt of electricity shoot up your spine. You feel the bond beginning you to seen, beginning to be acknowledged, beginning to be felt. Azriel has always been hot and cold, but he had never been this hot? Banter with Azriel was always teasing, but never flirty. Were you reading it wrong? Mother above what is happening? Azriel was killing you.

If that wasn't enough the final nail in the coffin is when he bends down and starts to talk to the fox he just put into your arms.

"There we go. You're in very good hands now. I do have to say I'm jealous." He pets the foxes head and it borderline purrs.

Is this a dream? You must be dreaming right now, everything from the moment you woke up has been surreal.

"This isn't a dream. Does the fact that you think it is mean you dream of me often?" He is slightly smirking.

You look at him, just pure confusion on your face. "Azriel are you okay? Are you possessed by the ghost of Cassian or something?"

This almost snaps him out of whatever trance he must have been in. "It must be the exhaustion loosening my tongue."

You both laugh at this. Half delirious in your sleep-deprived state.

He gives you a bow, now much too formal. "Azriel what is this are you a courtier now? This is all so uncharacteristic of you, you must truly be exhausted."

At this he just gives up. He sighs and walks towards you and surprises you by picking you up bridal style and throwing you on your bed.

"Goodnight princess. Try not to dream of me too much." He says as he takes his leave from your room.

"You-" He closes the door before you can get a retort in.

"Bastard." You now say into the darkness of night. It's fine his shadows can deliver the message for you.

Your fox jumps up on the bed and curls up next to your face. For the second time tonight you let sleep take you and this time she takes you gently and swiftly.

Somewhere in a realm that is neither here nor there the Mother is looking at Fate as if she were about to kill him. "How did you manage to get that piece back on the chessboard? That's not even a legal chess move."

Fate responds with a coy smile, "It's not just chess darling. It's life. Besides, I see myself in the young Autumn princeling "

She responds to him with a warm smile, which contradicts the chess piece she launches at his head.

He ducks it as if though he was already anticipating that outcome. Fate knows the mother all too well.

"Good we didn't need the Tamlin piece anyways." He stills for a moment, like he's remembering the high lord of spring, and then visibly cringes.

The Mother didn't laugh. She has been playing this game for much too long now and longs to see you and Azriel happy.

She has her own plans in store for the heir of Autumn. Plans that didn't involve you, but now his piece is back on the board it seems.

"We only get the most desperate when we feel as if that which we love is going to be taken from us." Fate grabs her hand over the table, a gesture meant to calm the fire that is burning in her eyes.

"You made them mates my love and I would never interfere with your divine plan. I am just as invested in their success as you are, I just think it's time for Azriel to have some competition."

At this the Mother smiles, "Interfering for the better? Meddling for the betterment of people's lives? Who are you and what did you do to the man I fell in love with?"

At this Fate smiles. He knows the mother was going to win this game one way or another, but he also knows that the more competitive he makes it, the happier she will be when she finally crushes him. Godspeed Azriel.

part x

note: Here is the jealousy you all wanted our shadowsinger has very interesting way of coping with this feeling. Is he trying to be more like Eris because he thinks that what the reader wants? Is he processing his emotions healthily? Or is he just uninhibited? Who knows? (except for me hahahaha). I am sorry if we have hit a bit of a lull in the story I can either continue putting out more shorter chapters every few days or do one long chapter a week feel free to lmk what you guys prefer. Until next time my darlings!

note note: This is so unedited I can almost sense the typos...

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burning-omen · 7 months ago

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Happy (Belated) Halloween!

Jason Todd x Demon!male!reader

(A/n: I'm tired, I've been getting argued at and pulled into fights that have nothing to do with me from the time I woke up- had a bunch of chores and shit to do and the fucking grocery store was packed and people keep bumping into me and all the fucking prices went way up since the last time I was there less than a month ago- I'm thoroughly overstimulated and getting home to edit and rewrite certain parts of this shitty little fic was a probably the best part of my day.)

Warning: crack fic kinda, blood, Demon!reader, murder, mutilation, and gore, summoning gone right technically, reader has TWO dicks, size difference, overstimulation, masochism, probably misspellings idk I'm not reading it again that's your job, dom/sub, ownership marking, sacrifice (rip that guy, ive been calling him marvin in my head), going missing for a lil while (consensually), OOC jason todd but this is literally porn who cares

word count: 1981 (short, i know, shut up/j)

Halloween parties were the worst. If the loud, drunk, half-naked crowd wasn’t enough to convince Jason, walking in on an honest to god seance was.

Being dragged to a party by Dick, only to lose him in the crowd of people within the first few minutes. He just wanted some quiet- and under the guise of looking for how brother he managed to avoid nearly every conversation that came his way- except for some incomprehensible drunk girl who insisted on holding a conversation with his even though she sounded like she was under water every time she opened her mouth.

He eventually managed to escape from her, finding the nearest room to recuperate in, only to be greeted by a room of chanting, drunk party-goers, kneeling around a shakily drawn yet intricate summoning circle. The chant was Latin- super old Latin- and Jason really wanted no part in this. He knew that demons were real, he knew a lot of shit that was supposedly fake was real- he had Batman to thank for that. So, after standing in the room for about 30 seconds, he decided to leave.

Turning on his heel, not saying a word to whatever party cult he just walked in on- deadset on leaving when he heard choking, and gasps from the mini cult as they clamored around the chanter who had suddenly collapsed.

Taking in a deep breath, cursing Bruce and the unwavering need to help he instilled in all of his children, before turning back to the group.

Laying, choking in the middle of the circle was a young man-

‘He’s drunk,’ Jason thought, pushing through the group surrounding him, their concern was nice- but unhelpful ‘probably choked on his tongue.’

Tilting his head back, the choking became louder- tears streamed down his face, his mouth agape as he clawed at his throat- his eyes desperate and afraid.

“It’s okay,” Jason tried, but he wasn’t exactly known for his bedside manner. “Just let me look.”

He peered down the man's throat- his tongue was wear it was supposed to be, but blood still filled the man’s mouth. Clearly whatever was happening here was internal, there's nothing Jason could do for him. Before he could ask anyone to call an ambulance- he saw something move at the very back of his throat. Even through the pooling blood, he could tell something wasn’t right- what the hell did he swallow?

His neck bulged as something made its way up- that was good- maybe. Slowly pushing up- whatever it was- caused the man to cry out in pain. He coughed and sputtered as it moved up and up until it pushed past the muscles of his throat and out of his mouth. A hand, clawed- drenched in blood, moving with so much force that a crack sounded through the room as more and more of the form inside him- whatever it was- came out. Breaking his jaw to finally reach out and grab his face- he cried out as pain and panic filled him- he turned to Jason for help as his friends fled but there wasn’t anything Jason could do but sit there in horror as an arm lifted from his broken and mutilated face- he cheeks tearing in as his mouth opened to unnatural length.

The bloody arm clawed at the floor, sharp talon like nails leaving deep wounds in the wood. Jason backed away- fear as well as guilt taking over. The basic instinct that anyone who had even taken the moniker “Robin” knew took over soon after, he needs to call batman- he couldn’t handle whatever this is, not on his own. He reached for his phone right as the candle lit room suddenly went dark. Jason, usually so strong and sure, didn’t know what to do. His communicator clattered to the floor as he stood.

He swore quietly- backing up until he was pressed against the wall- the sound of flesh tearing filled the room- still hot blood splattered across his face.

A soft growl came from the dark, deep and steady and growing closer by the second. Then,as if they had never been out, the candles were re-lit.

A massive beastly thing stood above him, horned and winged- a long tail trailing behind it. Soaked in the blood of the man that was scattered in chunks around the room. Despite knowing that he should definitely be afraid, a man had been ripped from the inside out right in front of him, something somewhere in his mind was saying, “would”. The thought immediately made him cringe at himself- he could not survive that- not only were you massive, you were also very naked. With not one but two just as massive, heavy cocks resting between your legs. He’d die, simply put, torn in half Terrifier style.

“Scared, human?” You asked, voice just as inhuman as your form.

Suddenly unable to find his words, Jason shook his head.

The action made you purr- something was so wrong with this man, not running or screaming, but instead sitting before you, his eyes wandering over your body, face reddened as his heart pounded in his chest.

He didn’t even attempt to move when you reached for him, his breath caught in his throat, but he remained perfectly still as you stroked his hair, then ran the backside of your claws down his cheek. All the way down to his chest, pressing just the tip of your claw in, watching as his shirt quickly became stained with blood.

“Not scared? How brave of you, human. “ You mused, “I require sacrifice.”

“Sacrifice?” he barely managed.

Trailing your claw lower and lower until the point of it rested over the growing bulge in his pants.

“A sacrifice of life is usually offered.” You pressed down, “But, another kind of offering will suffice.”

Jason breathed out- he can’t. Mentally, he could- he’s done all kinds of weird shit, fucking a demon wouldn’t even come close to the worse things he done- it doesn’t even reach top ten with the rest of his family’s track record for weird shit. But physically, that would kill him. One alone would shatter his pelvis and probably paralyze him- two would just straight up kill him. And you really didn’t seem like the kind of demon to go half way- you did come all the way from hell after all.

The obvious thing to do was to say no and call a fucking exorcist- but Jason didn’t do that, instead he speaks, so sure and steady as he spoke-

“Can you shrink?”

The entirety of your form became, your horns no longer scraped the ceiling, but you were still massive above Jason. You didn’t make it easy for him- pressing him into the floor with one clawed hand gripping his hair tightly, knees pressed into the hard wood and legs spread wide open, his cock- which you decided needed to remain untouched for the “sacrifice” to be valid.

Labored breathing, gasping and all encompassing sobs filled the room as both of your cock stretched him to the limit every time you thrusted into him- his nearly blunt nails leaving marks in the wooden floor below him.

With his mouth hanging wide open- he begged- muttering a broken “Please-’’ between moans-

You leaned down, pulling him up by his hair- resting inside him before speaking.

“You want more, human?”

Eyes brimmed with tears, feeling far fuller than felt natural- but so good and warm at the exact same time- deep in his stomach all the down to the very tips of his toes, every nerve so very alive.

He nods, shortly and without hesitation.

You grip on his hair loosens, and he sighs in relief as the burning pain in his scalp stops.

Only to flair up in his hips as you dig your claws into them, literally. Piercing through skin and drawing blood that slid over his skin and pooled beneath him on the floor. Jason, ever the masochist, only gets louder. With the party outside still raging on, you're sure the sound blended into the background- and any attendee lucky enough to have heard the high, whiny moans was listening far too hard.

Thrusting became painful, hard slamming- both cocks abusing his prostate with unnatural accuracy. Pulling out until the tips of your cock were just barely inside of him- then pressing back in so hard his entire body was pushed forward.

Jason’s mind was loud and incoherent - incomplete thoughts running through his head, cut short by either pain or pleasure every single time.

His body spammed unwillingly, muscles tightening and releasing, his hole tightened around you in an attempt to suck you in more- even if more would cause so so many problems for the man.

“So greedy,” you hummed in his ear, and you take cock so well.”

He didn’t respond, he couldn’t, overwhelmed and obsessed with the feeling. His orgasm- the first of many snuck up on him, his body overstimulated and oversensitive as hot, white cum shot straight onto the floor.

He gasped for air as though he’d been held under water- his body burned as he clenched around you- pleasure gone- replaced by what could only be described as fire destroying him from the inside out. He cried out in pain, his body writhes and contorts- and yet he never asks you to stop.

You grinned, “so cute, I might just have to keep you, human.”

You weren’t far behind him, cum seeping from both of your tips as you buried yourself deep inside him- it only added to the burning. Filling him so much until his hole, still plugged with your cock, leaks it back out. Down his legs and onto the floor, mixing with his own puddle of cum. You watched him for a long moment, letting him grit his teeth and cry at the pain, before showing your newest pet a bit of mercy and pulling out.

His body slouched onto the floor the moment you leg go. Jason was on the verge of passing out, eyes barely open, covered in blood, sweat, and cum. He has a high pain tolerance and his stamina was through the roof- but fucking hell he was so tired, and everything hurt, from his over used knees, to his damn near broken hole, and the small wounds your claws had made- coupled with an over bearing overstimulation making everything ten times worse- Jason, without question, was never doing this again.

—--- A couple weeks later—---

Dick realized that Jason wasn’t a party person, but for him to just disappear (and possibly kill someone at the party??? What the hell Jay???) for weeks seemed to be a bit of an overreaction.

But when he walked into the manor, happy as can be, after just being gone for three weeks, Dick knew something was very wrong- or very unusual- was happening.

“I had a date.” Was Jason’s only response, as he leaned heavily against the back of a chair, but never actually sat down in it.

“A date?!” Dick is so glad he questioned him in private. “With who?”

Jason shrugged, “met a guy at the party.”

“Jason you just dropped off of the face of the Earth with some guy for nearly a month?!”

Dick didn’t realize how literal that was- Hell has some pretty nice residential areas, it turns out.

“I was having fun.”

Jason, of course, was never going to tell Dick what he has really been doing- or what he will continue to be doing for the foreseeable future- but it was fun watching him freak out at every vague answer he gave.

The mark (brand?? Tattoo??) on his back still felt weird, sensitive from its spot hidden under his clothes, but how else would other demon, humans, and every other sentient being know that he was yours.

(a/n 2: AND I KNOW ITS LATE BUT I STILL FINISHED IT WITHIN A REASONABLE TIME SO EVERYBODY SHUT UP/j)

#good night party people #x male reader #male reader #male!reader #x male!reader #top male reader #top!male!reader #reader insert #jason todd x reader #jason todd x male reader #jason todd x male!reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #cinnamon #THIS IS MY FANFIC AND I WILL VENT IN THE A/N IF I WANT TO

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dalishthunder · 2 years ago

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god I just love how you wrote that intro, seeing himself, his family the fondness and the juxtaposition of "and then he'd gone to war" like.... hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ALSO ALSO

This right here!?!?!?!?? I had a dialogue in my head that was basically the same thing so like.... this is the good shit

I'm so in love with giving men flowers like obvi everyone should get flowers, but i feel like nebs probably hasn't gotten many flowers in his life (probably mostly due to the fact that he's a crusty disgusting mer) but the idea of him receiving flowers, the very soft... tender feeling...

Dragon's Tongue

✧ Nebarra x human!LDB, ft. Xelzaz & Khash ✧ Fluff, minor angst; 1300+ words ♫ "You And I (Stripped)" - PVRIS ✒ Something short n sweet today, I'm feeling soft

Nebarra was loath to admit it to himself, and he'd die before ever saying it aloud, but the Rift really was beautiful. Nothing compared to Alinor, to be sure, but... all the gold reminded him of home. And when he passed by a small, isolated farm, he could almost see himself on its porch, see his brother leaning against the door.

The illusions were younger, happier versions of themselves. So much more innocent, faces bright with naivety, eyes shining with plans for the future.

And then he'd gone to war.

He'd lost... so much of himself, in the deserts of Hammerfell. They had scorched and burned him inside and out, slowly bleeding him dry with every comrade he saw fall. And all that, for what? For all the Altmer's supposed superiority, the campaign had failed on all fronts – Hammerfell's walls and people defied them, and Cyrodiil remained in power, weakened but still unbroken.

How could the Thalmor still strut about, arrogant to Aetherius and back, when they had failed so miserably? How could they look at the faces of the families whose children and lovers they'd sent to die and only tell them they'd "served their purpose"?

Nebarra couldn't.

He couldn't face them at all. Not even through pen and paper, leagues away from ever having to look them in the eyes, ever having to see the pain and loss in their gaze.

Where the Thalmor were heartless, he was a coward.

And he didn't know which was worse.

~~~

Night fell, and you called the group to halt, to make camp until dawn. Nebarra set up the tent as you argued with Xelzaz, trying to convince him that no, he shouldn't summon a flame atronach and then kill it for its fire salts, no matter how good it would make dinner taste. Khash merely looked on, muching on some clover she'd picked up somewhere.

At last though, you got Xelzaz to relent, though he asked you to gather some herbs in exchange, listing off the plants he wanted you to find.

"Ah... and take Nebarra with you."

The elf froze. Turned slowly towards the lizard. Demanded, "What? Why?"

"Two eyes are better than one," he shrugged, "and that much safer, as well. We don't know what's out there, and I'm pretty sure we passed a necromantic altar on our way here."

At that, you groaned, head rolling back like a teenager who'd just been told to do their chores. "Gods, not another one. Why do we always seem to run into those?"

"Luck of the Dragonborn? Anyway, off with you now – I have to get set up. Let's see, in whose pack did I leave my cooking pot...? Khash! Come help me with this!"

And just like that he walked off, leaving you and Nebarra alone by the campfire. A chuckle escaped you, and he glanced over to see you shaking your head. "I'm surprised he didn't tell us to hold hands, too, so we don't lose each other in the dark."

"Yeah, I'm not holding your hand," Nebarra snarked. And it was true. Absolutely true. Totally, one-hundred percent true.

"Oh wow, Nebs, that one almost hurt." Your soft laugh seemed to echo in his ears, his mind. "Come on, let's go – I don't suppose you heard any of the plants he wants?"

Blue and yellow mountain flowers, to restore and fortify. Purple for rejuvenation, and to give to Khash. Scaly pholiota for fiber and strengthening. Wild gourds and dragon's togue for flavour.

He snorted from behind his helm. "That would require paying attention to him."

"Should have known," you sighed. "Alright, listen up before I forget: blue, yellow, and purple mountain flowers, scaly pholiota, and dragon's tongue. And be careful with the purple mountain flowers, they're gifts for Khash. Oh, he also wants some wild gourds. Got it?"

"...Yeah, yeah. Let's just get going."

He definitely hadn't feigned ignorance just to hear your voice some more. Definitely not.

~~~

"Ah, back at last! Perfect," Xelzaz said, stirring something in a pot over the fire. "Now I can get the real meal started."

"Then what's this?" Nebarra demanded as Xelzaz handed him a bowl, in exchange for the plants the Altmer carried. Even through his gauntlets he could feel its warmth, and a rich, savory scent drifted up through the slits of his helmet.

"Something amazing, from the smell," you sighed, and Nebarra didn't have to look to know you were drooling.

"Just a little sometime to hold you over," the Argonian demurred, handing you a bowl as well. "Thought I'd experiment with some of the flora I've gathered thus far."

That gave Nebarra pause. "Wait – experiment? That's settled, I'm not eating this."

"If you don't want it–"

Your words were drowned out by Khash's eager shout of, "I'll eat it! I'll take your bowl!" She rushed over to him, red eyes trained on the food.

"Khash, you had your share," Xelzaz chided. "Any more and you won't have room for the rest of dinner."

"Yes, I will! I have room for anything you make."

"She's got a point," you laughed, and Nebarra slowly, wordlessly handed her the bowl.

"I'll go keep watch," he grumbled, turning away.

"Oh, don't be like that! Nebarra!" When he didn't respond, you sighed, calling after him, "Alright, go sulk! I'll make sure Xelzaz doesn't poison your share, though you kind of deserve it!"

His back still towards you, Nebarra raised his hand in a rude gesture, and your laughter rang through the night.

Some thirty minutes later, he heard footsteps approaching; he didn't need to turn to know it was you. Your tread was distinct from the others, weighted with determination and confidence, whereas Xelzaz's was soft and steady, and Khash's light and hesitant.

"Here. Eat." Despite the short words, your tone was gentle, and Nebarra looked over to see you holding a plate out towards him, laden with a slab of meat and wild berries to the side. "It's delicious, and unpoisoned."

"How would you know?" he sniffed, catching a whiff of the food in the process. It... did smell amazing. "Did you try it?"

"I did, actually. Stole some of your steak when Xelzaz wasn't looking. And since I'm still standing here pestering you, I guess that means it's clean."

Nebarra paused, eyes training on your face. Half of it was wreathed in shadow, only the gleam of your eyes visible; the other half was illuminated by the campfire, revealing the soft smile you wore.

You... had a nice smile.

And before he could stop himself, he mumbled, "You're not... pestering me."

Surprise flickered in your gaze – surprise, and something else. Something he told himself he didn't recognise, refused to recognise.

After a moment, you said softly, "That's... good to hear, then. Because I have something else for you, too." Reaching down with your free hand, you pulled something from your belt and held it out before him. "I saved one, 'cause it reminded me of you."

Nebarra stared. There, held gently between your fingers, was a dragon's tongue flower, petals open wide and colours vibrant in full bloom. "This... reminded you of me?"

"It's gold. Just like you."

"...You really do have trouble with your eyesight, don't you? These are orange."

"Eh, close enough." You shrugged, the smile never leaving your face.

Slowly, Nebarra reached out and, ignoring the plate of food, took the flower carefully, delicately from your grasp, cradling it in his palm. "...Am I supposed to say thank you?"

"You just did." As he raised a brow from the shadows of his helm, you set the plate on a nearby rock and tapped the gauntlet that held the flower. "You accepted it."

He couldn't deny it. "Think you got me all figured out then, huh?"

Something in your smile shifted, your gaze flickering. "No. Not yet, anyways. But... I think I'd like to." And with that, you turned on your heel and walked away, leaving him alone in the dark, stunned.

And that night, as he sat in the shadows of the campfire, he stared at the flower for a long, long time.

#im just #im incoherent imma be real #but also like the fact that he is so gentle with the flower and how he reached for that before the food #HE WAS A COWARD #AUGHHHHHH MY HEART #most of the scenes ive been planning in my head for him today have been incredibly mean and adversarial so like this is such a treat #Also sometimes writing does that to you #I know there have been a few projects where i was just so drained after writing that i needed a while to recuperate #dont forget to go at your own pace though

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variousqueerthings · 18 days ago

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fraser and ray and hospitals

pilot (ray gets caught in an explosion by pushing fraser to safety)

ray: "i, uh... i think this was a big mistake." fraser: "yeah." ray: "i screwed up, i'm sorry." fraser: "don't." ray (tears in his eyes): "yeah."

manhunt (s1ep3) (fraser gets stabbed in the thigh while fighting a mass-murderer)

(in the hallway, ray speaks to buck frobisher) ray : "you- you know i can't believe it, i mean it's like... fraser he was invisible i mean..." frobisher: "yeah. happens to the best of us." ray: "... yeah." (ray then enters fraser's hospital room) ray (chipper): "how's it going?" fraser: they tried to cut off my boots." ray: "no!"

letting go (s1ep22) (ray accidentally shoots fraser in the back while aiming for fraser's sort-of-not-girlfriend/big time criminal and fraser has to go through a long recuperation)

ray: (handing him a present): "it's a power saw." fraser: "so it is." ray: "top of the line, guaranteed not to rust, with a lifetime warranty." fraser: "hm. What's it for?" ray: "your dad's cabin. I thought we'd go up there together and I'd help you rebuild it." fraser: "oh, Ray, you hated that cabin." ray: "ah, no, I didn't, I just hated leaving it to go to the can. Which brings me to this. (hands Fraser a binder) Pick one. My treat." (The binder is open to "bathroom fixtures.") fraser (smiling): "you know, you really don't have to do this."

ray: "okay, wait, wait. Wait, wait. (He gets the gift box and the binder out of the way and lifts Fraser's legs into the bed. Fraser exhales roughly.) You want me to go?" fraser: "no." ray: (smiles, sits in the wheelchair): "hey, this is pretty cool. You know, I think it'll be good. That, uh, we go up there for a while." [...]

ray: "hey. where do you buy lumber up there?" fraser: "you cut it." ray (laughing): "what like from the forest?" fraser (smiling): "ye-ap." ray (still laughing): "you're kidding me right?" fraser (still smiling): "nope." ray: "wow. you know how to do that? fraser: [makes knocking noises as if with an axe] "tok - tok." ray: "well... i don't have an axe." fraser: "I have an axe." ray: i'll have to go buy an axe. you got an axe for me?" fraser: "yeah. ive got two axes... two."

letting go pt2 (s1ep22) (ray gets shot while pushing fraser out of the way of a bullet)

ray: "all right, be caref— stop jerking it. Be careful. Okay, okay, okay. (Fraser wheels himself around to sit next to him.) fraser: "does it hurt?" ray: "of course it hurts." fraser: "thanks." ray: "for what, getting shot?" fraser: "yeah. ray: "yeah, I figured you'd like that." fraser: "well, I'm not proud about that, but I'll admit I did get a certain perverse pleasure out of it."

juliet is bleeding (s2ep7) (ray's first serious girlfriend is shot and killed in his arms)

(ray is about to head into a hallway with press everywhere) fraser: "I don't think you want to go in there." (He steers ray back into the waiting area and sits down next to him). ray (tears in his eyes): "you know . . . the first time I ever asked her to dance was in PE class. She kept trying to lead. Finally had to ask her to- to relax. That it would be okay. "Just put your head on my shoulder and close your eyes. Everything's going to be okay.""

flashback s2ep18 (fraser gets a concussion and loses his memory)

fraser: "and then we, um..." ray: "bonded." fraser: "bonded. We bonded?" ray (tears in his eyes): "yeah, you could say that."

call of the wild pt1 (s4ep12) (ray gets shot saving fraser from a bullet again, mimicking both the pilot and the s1 finale)

ray: "it's just a flesh wound. You know, I've been waiting all my life to say that. It's not as much fun as I thought it would be. Just like old times, huh?" fraser: "unhappily, yes." ray: "do you Mounties still always get your man?" fraser: "we try to."

[...]

hon. mentions a little to the left: hawk and a handsaw: fraser goes undercover as a patient at a mental health hospital that's testing an illegal drug on its inmates and ray goes to visit him for information north: fraser gets a concussion and goes blind/eventually loses the ability to walk, so ray has to carry him through the wilderness witness: ray is put in prison for contempt of a judge and fraser goes undercover as a prisoner to save his life after he sees he's been beaten up during a prison visit

#ray vecchio #benton fraser #due south

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redbo-and-simbo · 4 months ago

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...

..Mm.

(Where am I? It's so cold..)

(shifting)

Huh?

(An IV drip? I'm..in the infirmary. How did I get here after...)

Holy crap, you're finally awake.

(chuckle)

I was worried, man.

...Forty-seven? How..long have I been out?

Uh..longer than I'm sure you wanted to be.

(sigh)

Right. Right..

I'm..sorry.

What? Oh- No, it's fine. I should be apologizing for snooping around-

No, not- not that, I-

(weak, shaky breath)

I keep getting further from my goal. I keep..getting sidetracked...carried away.

I'm a disappointment to the Creator. I know it. That's why he sent you, right? To be some- some crutch?

No, Red-

It's humiliating. Being like this. This isn't what he wants, right? Prophet, how many clones does it take to bury this- this sorry excuse of an Evbo? I can't do my one purpose. I can't stay focused. I'm doing everything I can.

Red-

I do everything I can to keep up this tedium, because one day it's going to be so...so worth it. I want him to see how hard I've worked to become the perfect Evbo, all for him. It's all been for him.

I've never- I've never felt like I did when my autonomy fell away to his will. I want that back. I want- I want him to choose me again. I don't care how many Evbos I have to go through, I just want it back.

But I keep screwing up! All the time! I keep slipping up and things keep going outside of my plans!

Red, hey-

I'm a failure- Just- Just a collection of flaws I just want to erase and replace so I can be someone else!

I'm sick of it!

...

(shaky breath)

It's alright. You don't need to push yourself so hard, okay? You're doing fine.

You work so hard. ..If the Creator could see you himself, he'd probably admire your dedication. I know I do. But you need to slow. Down.

You're not on a time limit. You don't need to spend every single second of your life living efficiently just to achieve your goal here. You're pushing yourself past your limits, sure, but you're doing it every single day. You're constantly functioning on bare minimum rest and self care, and it's affecting your work too.

..I'm sorry.

No, hey..don't be sorry. It's okay. I just don't want you to work yourself to death, and neither does the Creator. You've been out for a while because of your health, things are getting behind.

Then-

(shifting)

Then I need to-!

No, you don't need to do anything but stay here. Okay? Taking care of yourself is part of your work. You need to rest and recover after your crash.

...

(weak scoff)

(shifting back onto pillows)

Theeere you go. Things are still up and running. You don't need to worry. You set so many assignments that they trickle over into other shifts, there's a backlog, you don't need to do anything right now.

There's so much I need to do..

I know. But the first thing on the list is to recuperate. And hey, I've taken care of a lot for you.

(weight shifts down onto the medical bed)

I don't know how to assign things or do repairs, but..Seawatt needed to charge, so I helped plug him in. I made sure Widget was fed and had water so neither of you had to worry about it. And uh..your hoodie was..stained, so..I put it in the wash. Sheets too.

I don't understand..

Why?

Huh?

Why go through all that trouble when you didn't have to? You could've gotten someone else to take care of any of that. You know you don't need to lift a finger around this place.

(sigh)

Well, for one, it made the most sense. Even if Seawatt was in sleep mode for a while, he was still low battery. I wasn't going to make him do anything. And everything else, y'know..I'm around your room and workshop the most, only second to you. But- Besides that, I just-

I care about you, Red.

I knew it wasn't going to be easy to make up for lost time, and I knew it would stress you out having all these extra tasks to take care of. I wanted to make the workload easier on you.

...

(sniffle)

...You really are a gift from the Creator..

Aw, Red..

(shifting)

Hey..you don't need to cry. I'm happy to hurk-!

(Tight hugger-)

(soft chuckle)

(fingers move to comb through hair)

...You'll be alright, Evbo.

#simulation evbo #redbo #simbo #redbo and simbo blog #evboverse #minecraft but it's a simulation #ask blog #rp blog #evbocest #lore post

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robinsnest2111 · 7 months ago

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done it, sent my managers an email and called up my gp to pick up my sick note to send into work asap...

hmm yeah okay, can't stand on my legs steady enough for more than 2 minutes, my head's swimming, cannot work like that for 8 hours. gotta call in sick.... how to go about it tho, I've never done this...

#according to what my work contract says i'm still within the requested time frame #and shooould be okay? idk...#the last time i called in sick at work (different job) i got booted since i was still in training...#but I've been at my current job for almost 2 years so... i should be okay???? idkkkk #i'm still just so traumatised by how me being constantly sick as a child/teen was treated by teachers/parents/doctors/peers #everyone always accused me of faking even with obvious fever and snot running out of my nose #and proven inflammation and infections and having to take way too many strong antibiotics basically back to back #idk man... it's like i'm not ALLOWED to be sick and recuperate???? ykwim???#like ive already wasted all my alloted sick time for my entire life in my youth #and now i'm on thin fucking ice whenever i do manage to fall ill... augh...#at least it's not covid 👍 test is negative #anyway. ibuprofen. shower. doctor. and then back to bed...

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strryhaze · 26 days ago

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Recently ive been thinking of what if bobby had been the one to be assasinated first. Cause surely Jack would be feeling just as bad as bobby felt, just in a slightly different flavour.

damn i’ve never really thought about this… i wonder if his grief for bobby would be different than his grief for joe or kick. losing them affected him to such a detrimental extent that i don’t think is acknowledged fully.

hm i’m not sure if he would feel Just as bad as bobby though… with bobby, there was this guilt of having pushed jack on so many things that he feared ultimately backfired on his brother. he truly thought it was his fault which only exacerbated his grief + losing the older brother he’d always admired and then trauma-bonded with (being there with jack when he was on the brink of death several times, losing siblings, and all the political stuff) idk if jack would necessarily feel that. or maybe he would if his mind ventured over into thinking that if bobby had just lived a normal life and he hadn’t been pulled into jack’s political world, he would still be alive? he would have gotten to live more Life in general? and we gotta bear in mind that jack was also barely recuperating from patrick’s death so losing both his son and brother back to back? that would’ve been beyond tough for him.

#this is crazy though like idk why i can’t imagine a world where bobby dies first and jack has to suffer the brunt of that idk why 😭#like that concept is too big for my brain to handle I think #asks #kennedy asks

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crackedpumpkin · 3 months ago

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infuriating melodies plsssspslsllslsssplsss 😮‍💨😅

crying i got so confused by this for a hot second bc my brain stopped processing words but do not fret my love!! The next chapter is on the way. ive just been insanely busy this month and only just managed to finish writing about half the chapter 😭

also i am slightly drained from churning out 8-10k words in a single chapter for my fics so do bear with me as i recuperate🙏🏻 i love writing but i also have the worst stamina known to mankind

im just gonna post some hcs in another post about infuriating melodies lol i just like to ramble incoherently

#pumpkinrambles

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hyewka · 9 months ago

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rana

rana rana rana

i just read choi yeonjun (and buddy system too but thats for later) and when i tell you i think that fic altered the trajectory of my life, i fucking mean it bc when i tell you i would fuck the shit out of that yeonjun i mean it,, i cant stop thinking abt it actually 😵‍💫 the writing was on point, the descriptives... i think the thing that has always drawn me to your writing is your vocabulary bc every word you use is always the perfect one for that situation holy shit

something abt cocky boys who are so subby actually makes me lose my head a little bit, and the repeated 'this is normal, this is just a one time thing' honestly i think i might need a bit to recuperate. also lets just ignore how the 'condoms in second drawer' made me twitch in a really embarrassing way 🙏 sPlEnDiD

something abt how much you write spit into it also gets me on my knees every time like O.O truly one of the best writers on moablr frfr

and now we have to get into buddy system bc when i tell you sub gyu is my weakness im sure you already know-- himn crying bc he was worried his dick didnt look good had me shaking like idk maybe i like whiny subby boys (or maybe its just txt lol) truly a piece of writing i will die on this hill

i think another part of why your writing is so delicious is you write your dialogue so well!! like ive never thought "oh that was an awkward response" bc it never is like its just so good

also another episode of perv ada printing out rana's fics... while i fuck you straight popped into my head the other night and is def inspo for a scene in my 170 page horny single parent au yeonjun fic (plot twist: its not yeonjun shes fucking) so i printed it and annotated it to find why it was so good, and yet again, it was the dialogue and word use you are just truly on another level <33

hoped you enjoyed my barely coherent review also i think dvp w tyunning could be something to experiment w for kink buffet 😳

When I tell you its been so long since I’ve felt so giddy over an ask, so much so I had to put my phone down and pace around my room for a few seconds because of how excited I got aghh!!!!!! You always deliver with these reviews lol I feel 10x more confident than I usually am about my writing lately—thank you so much, seriously!!! I really liked writing that part in buddy system, crying boys are my weakness and beomgyu’s soooo pretty so it adds to the charm, right?

Im blushing so hard right now i love you❤️ I saw your ask for the event i’m planning for kinktober and I’m definitely going to get on it <3 again you are so kind and thoughtful im beyond grateful and happy over this, genuinely made my day, hell, even month ❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you again, and im happy wifys could help with your vision

#and i missed you being on here a lot #figured this mightve not been your thing #but im happy you still write #youre fantastic #and yes ill keep the tyunning idea in mind😉#ahhhhh im genuinely so happy haha #take a shot every time ive used the word happy #but seriously #ive been super down lately with my writing quality but this just gave me all the reassurance i needed #you have no idea #✶ ━━ rana ; answered

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candyswirls · 7 months ago

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An Eye for an Eye, a Pup for a Pup, Pt 5

TW: mentions of surgical procedures, decapitation, canon typical violence, spoilers for the final battle of Prospero

Here’s the AO3 link if that tickles your fancy

Imho laid on the table as the machines shifted and whirred over him. His wrist had just been wrapped and fresh tears drying on his face. The setting of the wrist had not been pleasant for him.

Finnja’s hearts ached as he had to maneuver it. They usually did until the Larraman surgery. Neophytes tended to have a higher pain tolerance by then.

Imho tried to hold still as the machines built the scan of his body.

The whirring slowed down as the tools went back into rest position and compositions of vascular, muscular, skeletal, and nervous system appeared on the screens.

Finnja studied them with expertise, zooming in on places Imho wouldn’t have thought to. The apothecary took notes and would hum occasionally. His face stayed neutral though.

Imho stayed lying on the table and watched his caretaker? Captor?

Finnja was a large and tall Astartes. Not close to a Primarch height. Though Lord Magnus was the tallest of his brothers. Like Finnja… he was taller than all his brothers. Still, the wolf was massive, yet he worked as an apothecary, or Wolf Priest as the sixth legion called it.

He was terrifying but all the wolves were. He had a thick beard with dark brown hair. Facial hair wasn’t common on Prospero.

Finnja leaned in and squinted at the screen. He zoomed in on the image of his hearts. He hit a button and it began playing as a feed. He replayed it over and over again, zooming in and out of every section.

He watched the wolf go over to where a lab was and check various test tubes.

He came back over, “When was your last surgery?”

“J-just four weeks ago,” Imho answered.

“Bioscopea?”

Imho nodded.

The wolf checked over his notes then came over to the table.

“Sit up and remove your shirt,” Finnja ordered. “I need to feel how the scars and organs are doing.”

He removed his gauntlets and Imho slowly did as he was told.

Space Wolves had a higher body temperature. He almost swore Finnja was burning as he felt his abdomen and chest and the scars that ran along it.

Imho refused to look down at the strange words those wolves had carved into him. They had burned as they did it. His soul had felt bruised ever since.

Imho flinched as Finnja pressed into a muscle a bit hard. Not letting up even as Imho whined in pain. He let out a sigh as the wolf moved onto the next.

After a few more checks and inspecting him, the wolf concluded.

“Your second heart is failing,” the wolf deduced. “Was there any reports of bad geneseed or organs that you can recall?”

Imho shook his head, trying hard not to despair at the shocking news.

“I will have to see it first hand,” Finnja muttered. “Luckily it’s an easy replacement, especially this early in the process. You’re only in phase three. Your body will adjust well to it after some rest and recuperation. One of my brothers is very skilled with hearts.”

Imho rolled onto his side, holding his queasy stomach. The second heart surgery had been the worst to recover from so far.

Finnja didn’t say much as he attached IVs of a new blood bag and saline drip. Imho’s stomach swirled and then lurched. Finnja was right there with something for him to empty his stomach contents into. Imho coughed and tears welled in his eyes. Stomach acid burned his throat as he choked up the remaining bits.

He laid his head on the side of the bin, breathing heavily as his stomach decided whether or not to fully purge itself.

Finnja moved his hair out of his face. He rubbed circles into Imho’s back. Imho wanted to move away from him but he felt so sick and the hand was gentle and caring.

His stomach lurched again. There was nothing left in him now.

He shivered on the cold examination table. Everything about the Space Wolves seemed cold. Their ship, their demeanor, how ruthless they were. He wanted to be back home on Prospero. The warm wind whipping hot sands. The sun beaming down on him. The familiarity of it.

Finnja took off his fur cloak and draped it around Imho. He pulled it around himself, remembering how warm it felt before.

Finnja took the bin.

“I’m taking a sample from this,” he announced. “Just in case.”

Imho just nodded, exhaustion wracking his body. He slowly fell over till he was lying down again, shifting to have the cloak be a barrier between him and the cold metal.

The despair grew. He was stuck here. If he wanted to live, he’d end up fighting for the very army that just destroyed his home. His family.

Tears streamed across his nose and cheek, before dropping onto the cloak.

He flinched as he heard the door to the apothercarium open.

He winced at the harshness of Fenrisian. He recognized Finnja’s name being said. Finnja answered back quickly and then dismissed the wolf.

“I will inform my brother and see when he can perform the surgery,” he told Imho, “I will see you after you wake up.”

“You won’t be there?” Imho asked, alarmed.

“No,” Finnja answered, “I am being called to assist my brothers and fulfill my duty as a wolf priest. You’ll see your fellow neophytes in the meantime and meet your new brothers.”

Imho could have sworn he felt himself shrink. Seeing his fellow neophytes, his friends, would be good. But the Space Wolf neophytes?

Finnja left him in the apothecarium and another Wolf Priest came in. He was shorter and had a stern look. Imho wanted to run and hide. Serfs and servitor accompanied him. He was less than kind with his examination. Imho hadn’t realized how gentle and careful Finnja was.

He broke down and the older wolf scolded him.

“Your tears will get you nowhere,” he said sternly. “Wolves don’t cry. We howl.”

He wanted to retort back that he wasn’t a wolf but he kept quiet.

“Let’s begin,” the old wolf grumbled. “You remember how it goes?”

“Wait, right now?” Imho questioned. “We’re doing the surgery now?”

“Aye,” he answered. “Your stomach is empty, I have other neophytes to tend to besides you, and soon I’ll be taking care of multiple of my brethren. Now is the perfect time. Quit whining. We need to put you in the surgical clothes.”

Imho couldn’t help but cry again. The Thousand Sons had you mentally prepare before undergoing surgery. Special psychic rituals to put your mind at ease.

A serf unhooked the IV tubes, allowing him to take off his shirt. He felt exposed and vulnerable. The Wolf tossed him a strange garment. After turning it over a few times a serf came over to help him put it on. It was like an apron or casual wear on Prospero.

“Do you still recall the aftercare instructions?” The wolf priest asked.

Imho nodded.

“Good,” the wolf priest muttered as he motioned Imho onto the surgical slab. “The other neophytes will help care for you afterwards. Up here. I’m not coddling you like Finnja does.”

“Uh, my-my wrist,” Imho said while holding it up.

“Hmm.”

The wolf picked him up under the arms and onto the surgical slab. It was significantly warmer.

He laid down as serfs attached the IV again and then other tubes and wiring. They then placed an oxygen mask over his face.

“Count backwards from ten,” The Wolf said.

Imho did so and never made it to six.

Everything was dark. He was in a pitch black void. He breathed heavily, seeing his breath billow out somehow.

He walked across shallow water, it rippled until it froze. He shivered and pulled his silk shawl closer around him. It did little for warmth.

He flinched as he saw the shadows of wolves run past. The howls echoed. He took off running. The shadows followed. He tried to fend them off with psychic attacks but flames burst on his skin, fading to be the runes that hard been carved into it. He couldn’t use his power!

He ran faster and faster, water splashing, their breath on his heels, the whirring of chain swords, the pounding of ceramite on the ground. Tears escaped his eyes. Why shouldn’t he cry? He was only eleven!

The air grew thick with smoke and fires bloomed out of the doors and windows of every home in Tizca. He ran towards his house. It was engulfed in flames. His mother lay dead in the doorway. She was decapitated. A space wolf stood there, holding her head. He howled, fangs protruding, fierce yellow eyes.

Imho screamed in agony and rage as he charged the Astartes. Somehow he had his knife in his hand. Every combat lesson he’d been given thus far worked with muscle memory as he stabbed the wolf through the weak points of his armor.

The wolf fell and Imho dropped to his mother’s body, sobbing. He picked the head to see the red hair cascading. One single eye closed. Sliced cleanly by the blade of Leman Russ.

“Father!” Imho cried out as he cradled his Primarch’s large head in his arms.

Why? Why?! Why?! Why did the emperor send the Space Wolves?! Why were they ordered to execute his legion? His planet? What did they do?? Why did they deserve this?! Why didn’t they know about the attack??

He had seen the bombardment. Destroying everything outside of the psychic barrier. He’d heard the legion brothers. Why hadn’t Father known? Where was Father? Magnus the Red, please!

Wind blew the flames into him and he saw flashes of his legion brethren fighting. Ahzrek Ahriman, Iskander Khayon, Amon, even apothecary Mshai who had already perished.

Flames swept around him till he stood watching his Primarch battling the Wolf King of Fenris. It was vicious and brutal. Imho couldn’t move, trapped in the fire. His own Primarch punched his brother with psychic powered fists. He destroyed the two wolves alongside the Wolf King. A blade was swiped across his Primarch’s eye. The Wolf King managed to lift the great sorcerer and broke him across his knee.

Imho yelled and sobbed uncontrollably as he saw bits of his Primarch’s soul splinter off of him, cascading across the warp. Imho caught as many pieces as he could, cradling then in his hands.

“Father,” he choked.

Phantoms of Magnus reached out to him from them. Calling to him.

Imho. Beloved son. Little one. My neophyte. Sweet child. Precious one. Imhotep. My prodigy. Youngest son.

He faded away as a spell was completed through Ahriman. The remainder of his legion brothers were transported away into the warp. Saved. Escaping execution.

He felt the pull of it. Willing him to come. He wanted to follow. He would have! But the words carved into him burned, holding him back like shackles. He screamed in agony and despair as he was tethered there.

Don’t leave him! Please! Father! Take me with you! I’m loyal! I’m strong! I have power!

He dropped to his knees, crying as the ache in his hearts grew. Not just grief and sadness, but actual pain. It was becoming unbearable. He couldn’t breathe! It wouldn’t stop!

His eyes flashed open and he screamed as he desperately tried to sit up, knocking over trays of tools. Hands held him down.

Standing over him was a wolf skull. A space wolf. One of the very ones who had destroyed his home.

He screamed in terror, especially as pain bloomed in his chest. His cut open chest, hearts exposed.

He screamed and felt the world sway. He punched a serf and they went flying back. He was still a neophyte and had already grown bigger. Psychic waves bloomed from him. But the wolf wouldn’t let him move and the world blurred as he went unconscious again.

***

Odavig stood back from the neophyte, now that he was sedated under anesthetic again. The oldest serving serf, Anga, lay unconscious. Possibly dead from that punch.

He had barely began removing the damaged second heart. Then the neophyte awoke. Absolutely no warning. He was in the middle of surgery! He had been heavily under anesthesia! How did he wake up?! Those psychic waves!

“Clean everything up!” He ordered. “Is Anga alive?”

“Aye,” she grunted as she struggled to stand.

“Take her out of here,” Odavig ordered. “We need to finish. Is the anesthesia working properly or not?”

“It is my Lord,” the serf said quickly. “I-I do no-“

“Hush,” Odavig said. “Neither do I. We continue the surgery. We will deal with this later. Finnja will sort it out.”

Once everything settled, he went back to removing the old heart, the quicker he got the new one in, the better.

#warhammer 40k #wh40k #tw blood #space wolves #thousand sons #warhammer fic #my writing #leman russ #magnus the red #neophyte

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