#take a shot every time ive used the word happy

[hyewka]

rana

rana rana rana

i just read choi yeonjun (and buddy system too but thats for later) and when i tell you i think that fic altered the trajectory of my life, i fucking mean it bc when i tell you i would fuck the shit out of that yeonjun i mean it,, i cant stop thinking abt it actually 😵‍💫 the writing was on point, the descriptives... i think the thing that has always drawn me to your writing is your vocabulary bc every word you use is always the perfect one for that situation holy shit

something abt cocky boys who are so subby actually makes me lose my head a little bit, and the repeated 'this is normal, this is just a one time thing' honestly i think i might need a bit to recuperate. also lets just ignore how the 'condoms in second drawer' made me twitch in a really embarrassing way 🙏 sPlEnDiD

something abt how much you write spit into it also gets me on my knees every time like O.O truly one of the best writers on moablr frfr

and now we have to get into buddy system bc when i tell you sub gyu is my weakness im sure you already know-- himn crying bc he was worried his dick didnt look good had me shaking like idk maybe i like whiny subby boys (or maybe its just txt lol) truly a piece of writing i will die on this hill

i think another part of why your writing is so delicious is you write your dialogue so well!! like ive never thought "oh that was an awkward response" bc it never is like its just so good

also another episode of perv ada printing out rana's fics... while i fuck you straight popped into my head the other night and is def inspo for a scene in my 170 page horny single parent au yeonjun fic (plot twist: its not yeonjun shes fucking) so i printed it and annotated it to find why it was so good, and yet again, it was the dialogue and word use you are just truly on another level <33

hoped you enjoyed my barely coherent review also i think dvp w tyunning could be something to experiment w for kink buffet 😳

When I tell you its been so long since I’ve felt so giddy over an ask, so much so I had to put my phone down and pace around my room for a few seconds because of how excited I got aghh!!!!!! You always deliver with these reviews lol I feel 10x more confident than I usually am about my writing lately—thank you so much, seriously!!! I really liked writing that part in buddy system, crying boys are my weakness and beomgyu’s soooo pretty so it adds to the charm, right?

Im blushing so hard right now i love you❤️ I saw your ask for the event i’m planning for kinktober and I’m definitely going to get on it <3 again you are so kind and thoughtful im beyond grateful and happy over this, genuinely made my day, hell, even month ❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you again, and im happy wifys could help with your vision

[shroomerr]

Dude! Please I gotta hear more about your little lady 🤲

☆ Is there someone your OC didn’t like at first, but then got along with later?

☆ Who would your OC say is their best friend?

Dude !!! Always happy to see you in my inbox 🫶 ahh thank you sm for the enthusiasm!!

oh man these are some hard questions!! im still trying to figure out the characterization for some of them, so the dynamics might be subject to change. Regardless, oh boy you might have to brace yourself for this one, I fear it's going to be long......... (i havent written it yet but im going to preemptively cut just in case)

☆ Is there someone your OC didn’t like at first, but then got along with later?

that someone is Craig!! He wouldn't like Hanh at first because she's often involved with the M4's shenanigans, and assumed she was either a. a wimpy pushover because of her shy nature or b. just as bad as them lmao. On the other end, Hanh thought that Craig was nothing but a troublemaker with how often he got sent to the Principal's office and assumed he was a meanie with how often he'd clash with her friends. She'd misinterpret his direct and pragmatic comments as being malicious, and while she does agree with a lot of his points, she thinks that his words could use more tact.

However, over time they'd both realize that they had misconceptions about each other: Hanh would come to realize that Craig's reasons for being sent to the principal's office is usually never on purpose or for malicious reasons, and that he never actively looked for trouble. That, and that most of the time, his criticisms towards her friends were completely justified LMAOO. Meanwhile, Craig would find out that Hanh's not as much of a pushover as he thought she was, and that she reprimands the M4 just as much as he does.

which, segues nicely into:

☆ Who would your OC say is their best friend?

also Craig!!!

After they get over that little hurdle, they come to learn a lot from each other! I imagine that Hanh would often give Craig advice on how to talk to Tweek, esp when it comes to the more emotional situations where Craig's more prone to problem solve, and over time he'd learn how to be gentler and kinder in general! On the flipside, Craig would teach Hanh how to be more confident in herself by getting her to be more direct. Craig's honesty is also something Hanh will always appreciate, because it's something she can always rely on without second guessing herself or look for any double meanings. She can always reliably trust that his monotone and deadpan ass will always tell her the truth.

I imagine Craig would ask Hanh what she sees in Stan's gang, only for her to reply with "they make me laugh."

I kind of headcanon that Craig to be this super tall, stoic, kind of intimidating (mostly thanks to his height) kinda guy that people are kinda scared of and avoid. In reality, he's just as much of a loser as any other guy. And with Hanh being short af (standing at a whopping 153cm/5 foot), I think it's a pretty funny visual contrast lol, especially with their very differing personalities (imagine that one picture of the guy going "someone will die" and the other person going "of fun!" thats them)

I also love the headcanon of Craig having braces, so I wanted both of them to share the pain of wearing braces together!! I imagine Hanh being self conscious of having to come to school with braces. She'd probably get a bit of teasing, but then lo and behold: Craig Tucker with braces, to which no one has the balls to say anything about it because he can and would fuck you up (i mean he boxed tweek after all!!). So, by proxy, no one made fun of Hanh for her braces either! Anyways they bond over shared pain and the wires tightening their teeth <3

oh and he also taught her how to flip people off and swear at people lol. the guys made a bet to see who could get Hanh to swear (bonus points if she flipped someone off) and he was the one who ended up winning 30$ that day.

Now, this is where I predict it's going to be long because Craig's not her only best friend: there's also Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Wendy!!

For Kyle,

They both respect each other a lot! Him and Hanh both have very strong moral compasses, and often times they'll find themselves on the same side and agreeing with each other on a lot of things, seeing as they're both very compassionate and caring people.

Although she's usually non-confrontational, whenever it involves Hanh's friends getting hurt unjustifiably, it's like there's a switch that gets flipped. She'll turn a complete 180 and make sure whatever needs to be done gets done (even if it means getting into a fight), which is something Kyle really appreciates about her. Especially if it's moments where she'll defend Kyle from Cartman's comments that go too far. If there was to be anyone he'd have a lot of respect for and find to be on equal footing with (other than maybe Stan and Wendy), it would be Hanh.

Similarly to Craig, I imagine that Kyle would try his best to help build Hanh's assertiveness and support her in her studies, and Hanh would in turn help keep Kyle's cool and give him advice on how to manage his emotions. They've both got each others' backs, essentially.

Whenever Hanh falls asleep in class due to staying up late, Kyle will often take notes for her

I think she'd also help Kyle be a little less uptight at times. Granted, she's guilty of this too and is often very prone to overthinking/freaking out, where just one thing going wrong in her schedule could derail her whole day. Despite this, she also has a very silly, goofy and happy-go-lucky side to her, so whenever that comes out it helps him loosen up a bit haha

They're also both the most studious out of Stan's gang, so they often do study sessions together. There's definitely a very small rivalry between them (which is completely one-sided on Kyle's side, btw. I imagine that he's at least the littlest bit competitive over grades, but Hanh does not give a fuck lmao). Sheila loves it when she comes over. Most of the moms, actually. They think Hanh's the right influence the boys need to balance out their stupidity lol

Speaking of stupidity, they're the most likely to take the responsibility of making sure their group doesn't get hurt/into trouble. Sometimes, it's just Kyle (though those moments are rare). And smetimes, it's just Hanh who takes on the role of the girl who's surrounded by a bunch of idiotic, immature guys, lol. Even Kyle can sometimes be susceptible to "boys will be boys," guys.

She also adores Ike! Hanh loves reading bedtime stories to him and playing Minecraft with both brothers! So that's bonus points in Kyle's book. Hilariously, I think it would be the funniest thing if Kyle was just terrible at Minecraft, so both Hanh and Ike would just dunk on him for being bad at the game HAHAHA

theyre both level 106 in hay day

I think Hanh would also really trust Kyle's judgement. He's not the smartest kid in class for nothing, after all. I'm imagining moments where if she's ever skeptical on joining on one of the M4's escapades, usually all she needs is Kyle's approval before begrudgingly sighing and tagging along HAHA

He's also much bossier than she is, so she's ok with just passively and silently following orders from him (from the others too, but Kyle's especially because of what I said above). Though, the same goes for Kyle as well: He trusts Hanh just as much as she trusts him, even if he doesn't actively show it.

They're both incredible yappers, Kyle moreso than her. Though, she doesn't mind taking on the listener role that much.

Both of them would also relate to kind of being the "outcasts" in the sense that they're always missing out on the thing that's mainstream (see: Kyle always being late to the Chinpokomon trend and him going against the metrosexual trend, etc.). I think it'd be the funniest thing too if both of them didn't know how to dap people LMAOOOO so they just spend a whole evening practicing how to dap each other up, only to realize that they can't even get a good dap up because both of their hands have hand sizes that are too different from one another.

I also think it would be super cute if they bonded over their "weird" lunchbox foods (on days where they don't buy from the cafeteria). Totally not me projecting my second generation immigrant experiences.

oh and he's the type to hug her right after a basketball practice: sweat and all. very gross, as intended.

As for Stan,

they'd bond over hating their dads, lol

Because both Stan and Hanh are very emotional people, they have a very close bond, often feeling like they're the only ones who can understand each other. They'd both be able to vent to each other about school, their issues, their depression, etc.

They also both get to see each other in their cringiest phases: for Stan, it was his goth phase, and for Hanh it was her weeb phase LMAOOO (they both tease each other about it constantly since they've both seen each other at their lowests and they know they're both losers anyway)

Speaking of goth phase, Hanh helps him paint his nails black!! he reluctantly asked for her advice because she has a lot of experience painting nails (thanks to her mom working at a nail salon), and she decided she needed to take it upon herself to teach him how to apply it the nail polish cleanly LMAO

They're both also very creative!! Hanh will often go over to Stan's house where they just hang out in each other's presence, where Stan's working on a new song and Hanh's just doodling something. Sometimes she'll use Stan as pose reference.

Stan would teach Hanh how to play some of his favorite board games (albeit with a lot of struggle), and she'd give him tips on how to better paint his Warhammer figurines.

both of them are also hoarders, lol

I also headcanon Stan as being pretty chronically online, so doomscrolling, on discord, the whole package. On late nights when Hanh's writing an essay that's due the next day, she'll often text/call him on discord because she knows he'd be awake super late.

THE BIGGEST CRIMSON DAWN FAN!!! absolutely gives her 100% when it comes to supporting his artistic endeavours, and also thinks his music and the concept of being in a band is just the coolest thing in the world.

Always sending each other new songs that they like, even if they both have vastly different tastes haha

Her and Kyle often have studying sessions along with Stan (and sometimes Kenny if he decides to tag along) where they both struggle to teach these two lol

Stan's more of a listener than a yapper, but they both have long back and forths. He prefers to be the listener more often though.

And then Kenny, oh sweet Kenny.

Hanh always tries to include Kenny in the conversation, because she notices how often he gets left out and she knows what it's like to feel left out!! it sucks!! It's something he always appreciates a lot about her

And despite being a huge yapper, Hanh always makes sure to get Kenny's input and encourages him to talk more! Especially when it comes to his own issues, because she notices that he often keeps his problems to himself and internalizes all of it, and she wants him to know that she can someone he can lean on.

He also makes her laugh the hardest. And she hates that she laughs at everything he says because sometimes it's the stupidest shit ever LOLL especially if it's stupid perverted jokes

Loves loves loves Karen. Absolutely adores her presence and often encourages Kenny to let her tag along so they can hang out!

Hanh's also a huge gift-giver, and she'll often bake stuff for her friends, but she always gives Kenny more to take home!

Always her treat when they go out to eat! Especially when it's Kenny, it's not something she wants to make a big deal out of. It's never out of pity, and it's always just because she loves sharing food with her friends! Sometimes she'll even pack extra in her lunch to share with him.

Calls Kenny "Princess" even outside of the Stick Of Truth larping game they play, because it's cute!!

Both Kenny and Hanh are very selfless and kind people, and it's something they appreciate about the other.

And then finally there's my girl, Wendy!!

Something something, girls with black hair who can fuck up cartman gotta stick together.

I don't think Wendy and Hanh would be as close as the other boys, but there's definitely a strong bond between the two, for a lot of the same reasons as Kyle.

Wendy's a girls' girl!! So of course it's only natural. Lots of bonding over feminism and the likes. Y'know, just girl things <3

Wendy would be the one to teach Hanh how to do stuff like makeup along with Bebe.

Ahhh I need to think more about their dynamic, especially she's my favorite girl in the show!! Even if they don't always have the same interests, one thing's for sure: they've always got each others' backs!!

This is also just a general thing that Hanh does, but she loves being physically affectionate with her friends!! So expect a lot of handholding and hugs for everyone! (which ends up leading to a lot of funny mutual pining shenanigans lmao)

[hecksupremechips]

Never not thinking about the way ashton confesses his love to isabella like first off theyre at the bar it’s revealed isabella plans to try and go back to the mansion on her own to find a way to end the curse and ashton holds her hand and pleads for her not to do that because it’s highly dangerous and they all need to stick together. But then he sneaks off to break into the mansion on his own, literally right after telling isabella not to do that, but he thinks it’s okay if it’s him because he feels responsible for everything and that he has to always put on a brave face and carry his friends’ burdens and destroy himself to keep them safe and that his life isn’t as important so it’s not like it’ll matter if he ends up dying. And then he does almost die, is literally being strangled to death in the creepy attic and would be dead until isabella comes to save him. And shes pissed off. She absolutely fucks up johannes with a taser and a fucking rolling pin because no one hurts her friends and gets away with it. And then she slaps ashton right across his face and yells at him for being reckless and thinking he can just put himself in danger without telling anyone and for being a hypocrite and she makes it clear "you count too, you know. When I said I didn’t want to lose anyone else, that included you."

And that’s when it clicks. Ashton notes how unconditionally and wholeheartedly isabella loves, and it finally kicks in that oh. She loves him. She’s always loved him. And maybe he’s worth loving. He’s then literally so fucking giddy about his discovery that he’s got a big fat grin despite the fact he just nearly died, got slapped, AND got scolded pretty hard. And he takes isabella’s hand again and does what he’s always afraid to do: he apologizes. He’s sorry for always teasing her, and for being reckless, and he’s sorry for taking so long to apologize. "But for all those callous words, there’s nothing I don’t love about you. Those things...I love them. And everything. Everything that’s you."

It’s quiet, then isabella just fucking starts sobbing hysterically. And then ashton is like SHIT SHIT FUCK OH GOD IM SORRY DID I FUCK UP and she asks him why. Why the hell would he say something like that to her? She lists all these reasons, she doesn’t have anything at all she’s never had money and she only eats cheap instant noodles, she can’t do anything with someone helping her, and she was never able to become an artist even though she was so close. She genuinely doesn’t understand how someone like her could ever be seen as anything special, she’s been conditioned into believing that shit like that is for other people but it’ll never happen to her so she doesn’t even allow herself to consider it a possibility. And yet, AND YET

And ashton doesn’t hesitate one second, he looks right at her and says that all those things are still her and he loves everything about her. AND THEN THEY KISS AND HOLD EACH OTHER JUST FOR A MOMENT JUST LETTING THEMSELVES FORGET THE HORRORS BECAUSE THEY HAVE EACH OTHER AND THEY WALK OUT HOLDING HANDS

[ty-bayonet-betteridge]

two of the transfems youre friends with have been talking to you about the clinic they got their bottom surgery done at. apparently its dirt cheap, and the surgeon - despite some oddities and, your friends admit, poor hygiene - is incredibly talented. theyre more than happy to give you her phone number when you ask, and while it sounds simultaneously incredibly sketchy and way too good to be true, at this point youre just so broke, desperate, and tired of gatekeepers that you're willing to give it a shot.

you call on a thursday afternoon, and the call is picked up on the fourth ring, when youre just gearing up to hear an answering machine. the voice on the other end sounds like a middle-aged woman with a smoking habit trying to sound like a cheery, bubbly young girl, and mostly succeeding. hiiiii! what can i do for you? she asks. you say er im looking for a surgical clinic is this the right number? she says mhm! thats me. you say okay, i just have a few questions. she says shoot. you say do you take patients who arent referred to you? she says nobody refers patients to me so yes. then she giggles. youve never heard somebody pull off a giggle in real life. you ask okay, so ive been looking for a place to get my metoidoplasty done, can you do that here? she says i dont know what that is give me like five seconds. then the line goes silent. you can hear her typing on a mechanical keyboard and humming to herself as she reads. youre now convinced that this is not in any way a legitimate medical institution.

youre about to hang up when she comes back on the line. OH you need a dick she says. sure i can do that! does tuesday afternoon work for you? i have that morning free too but i HATE getting up in the mornings so id rather not schedule it if i have to. you say tuesday afternoon is fine, how long should i expect the visit to be? she says i dont know like seven hours? you say seven hours? she says yeah give or take a few, every person is different so i dont know what itll be like until ive got your cunt opened up. honestly probably best to take the whole day off just in case it turns out to be a tough operation. you dont respond to that immediately. she says oh shoot should i not use the word cunt, is that too gendered? sorry. you say no its fine. you say i thought i was just going in for a consult? she says i mean yeah if youd rather. i dont mind doing same-day but some people like having more time to think about their options. do you have somewhere to be tuesday night or something? you say no its just... no tuesday afternoon should be fine. she says okay great!

she gives you her address. she says knock three times so i know its you and not my parole officer. parole officer you ask? she says im being good i promise but i still hate talking to him hes boring. you say if you dont mind me asking what were you imprisoned for? she says the ones i plead guilty to at the trial were a hundred and ninety-two counts of first-degree murder with a parahuman ability, two hundred and fifty-six counts of physical and emotional torture with a parahuman ability, five hundred and six counts of intentional infliction of emotional distress with a parahuman ability, four hundred ninety-eight counts of aggravated assault and battery with a parahuman ability, four hundred twenty five counts of domestic terrorism with a parahuman ability and two hundred and twelve counts without, three counts of arson, two hundred forty two counts of burglary with a parahuman ability, three hundred eight four counts of robbery with a parahuman ability, four hundred twenty seven counts of abduction with a parahuman ability, a hundred eighty six counts of human trafficking with a parahuman ability, three hundred ninety counts of destruction of public property with a parahuman ability, eighty counts of possession of a controlled substance, more than three thousand conspiracy and complicity charges in various felonies, eighteen violations of the Geneva Conventions, and the unauthorized practice of medicine. i plead not guilty to the larceny, sexual assault, contempt of court, corporate espionage, and identity theft charges and the prosecutor didnt really try to fight it since i had already earned seventy life sentences from the other stuff so im technically innocent of those.

you dont say anything to that.

after three seconds of silence she says sooooooooo i'll see you tuesday? you say tuesday, yeah. what was your name again? Riley, she says. Riley Grace Davis. you say thanks again and then hang up.

you debate constantly during the intervening days whether you should go on tuesday. youre grateful your friend group is so slutty; it means youve already seen with your own eyes that this surgery is real and not just a lure to murder you. still, you have some reservations, which you think is perfectly understandable.

you call one of your friends whos been there already. she picks up and you say if this is a joke its only sort of funny. she says if whats a joke? you say the clinic. you say you DID give me the actual number to the place where you actually had your bottom surgery done right? she says yeah, dont worry the surgeons so sweet. you say she admitted to doing two hundred murders when she was on the phone. she says i dont know anything about that but i trust her. you say if i end up dead, kidnapped, or mutilated, its your fault. she says dont worry about it.

tuesday comes. you never agreed to an exact time so you show up as early as you can and still have it be "afternoon" in your mind - 12:30. you climb the rusted fire escape to the third floor door and knock three times. the door is answered by a woman six feet tall in casual but very nice clothes with frizzy brown hair and an expression you cant read. you say er, riley? she says nope. another girl pushes past her, exasperated. she's maybe five foot two and her wavy blonde hair is worn down, with a red bow in it. she's wearing torn jeans - naturally torn, not the sort that you buy with holes in them that youve always hated but the kind that were once normal jeans and now have worn through much of the fabric on the knees. her tshirt is faded and has stains that you cant quite place on it, but youre pretty sure it was once Eidolon merchandise.

she says damnit amy let me answer the door next time. the taller woman, amy apparently, shrugs and steps aside to let you in riley claps her hands together once youre inside and the door is shut. introductions! she shouts. amy, this is, er... I never actually got your name? you tell them your name. she says right! hes one of my clients. and this is Amy, my sister. dont worry about her, shes just a little awkward. amy says can you PLEASE not introduce me as your sister. riley says make me. then she grabs amys shirt and pulls her down, standing on her tiptoes at the same time. they kiss in a very un-sisterly way. you clear your throat politely.

riley breaks away and says right, yeah, sorry! i get distracted easy. youre here to get a dick right. you splutter a bit, both at the bluntness of the question and the fact that amy is still standing right there. riley follows your gaze. she says oh dont worry about her! sorry, i wouldve run her off earlier, i thought you wouldnt come by for another few hours. you say sorry. she says dont worry, its her fault. amy says you didnt tell me you had a client. riley says you didnt ASK. you clear your throat politely again. you say er yes, i did come in for metoidoplasty. she bites her lip and furrows her brow. she says metoido... oh right. well i dont really do that here but i can give you a dick. you say uh im not really interested in phalloplasty. she says whats phalloplasty? amy says its the construction of a penis, usually via tissue flap taken from another part of the body, often followed by the insertion of prosthetics to allow the constructed penis to achieve erection. riley says oh, huh. yeah i dont do that either. i can give you a dick though. she takes a second then puts on an exaggerated scowl. who would want that she asks? amy says lots of people prefer it to metoido for aesthetic reasons or because they dont think theyll be large enough for penetrative sex with metoido. riley says but it wouldnt feel like a dick! man, some surgeons are talentless hacks.

you clear your throat again. you say so if youre- riley says youre clearing your throat a lot, are you okay? you say im fine, its just- she says oh duh were being so rude! why are we all standing around here. come sit down in the living room, do you want anything to drink? she leads you into the living room. it has the unmistakable air of a room thats been cleaned recently, with vacuuming marks present in the carpet and the unmistakable scent of air freshener. the sofa that you're gestured to sit on is, by contrast, unbelievably filthy. stains of every sort are visible on it - some of them are obvious, like the patches of blood and vomit or the ring of a coffee mug. others take you a second to place, like the crusty streak along one cushion that you realize all at once is semen, or the sticky yellow parts that you hope to god are honey. some of them, like the muddy green handprint along one arm of the sofa or the deep black smudge along a seat, are completely foreign to you. you can smell it from several feet away.

amy notices your hesitancy. she says i keep telling her to throw that thing out. riley says and i keep telling HER that its a relic from earth bet! its an antique and itll be worth millions soon. it just needs a good deep cleaning. amy says what that sofa needs is a bullet, not a deep clean. you sit down. drink? riley asks. you say er what do you have? she says water, diet coke, vodka, coffee. no more beer though, SOMEBODY drank the last one. amy says you never said they were off limits! riley says they arent, im just teasing. you say waters fine. riley says aaaaaaaaaamyyyyyyy, could you pleeeeeeaaaaaaaase go get our guest a glass of water and me a diet coke? oh and can you grab the pill bottle on the second shelf of the spice cabinet. amy says sure, i'll be right back.

riley sits down next to you. she says sooooooo what do you want for your dick? you say sorry, if youre not doing phallo or metoido then what exactly are you offering? she says no offense but it would take like literally eight years to give you enough background info for you to understand my explanation, and i dont have that kind of time. im not getting any younger. except for when i am. she laughs louder than you thought a human could. you have no idea how to describe the sound of her laughter. she says just tell me about your dream dick and ill give it to you. trust me, im a doctor.

except that youre not, amy says, returning with glasses and pills in hand. she sets the water down in front of you and you immediately take large gulps, feeling very much lost right now. riley says am TOO, accepting the pill bottle and diet coke from amy. she frowns. why is it can diet coke, she asks? she says glass bottle is so much better. she says why did i even BUY can. amy says they are literally the same liquid, what do you mean its better. riley says theyre not the same, stop deluding yourself. amy says which of us is the REAL doctor? riley says both of us! the PRT finally issued me an equivalency. youre talking to doctor riley davis, MED. amy says oh really? congrats she says. riley beams. then she unscrews the lid of the unlabeled, dark brown glass bottle, grabs three pills, and pops them into her mouth.

what is that you ask. ectasy she says. you want some? you say no thanks. she says you sure? you say i probably shouldnt take drugs before an operation, what if it interacts with the anesthetic? riley says dont worry, i made my own anesthetic that has zero drug-drug interactions. amy says except with sudafed. riley says ok YEAH except with sudafed, how was i supposed to know? she glances at you. you dont take sudafed do you she asks. you say no. she says good. it was such a bitch cleaning the pus off the ceiling she says. you say huh? she says dont worry about it, you dont take sudafed. she says are you sure you dont want any ecstasy? i promise its pure. you say i dont want to get addicted. she says i can surgically remove the addiction pathway from your brain if that would help. amy says riley, no means no. riley says fine. do you want any ecstasy babe? she says no thanks. riley frowns. she says you guys are a bunch of squares. she pops a fourth one and starts chugging diet coke.

she slams the can down after drinking what must be half of it, wipes her mouth with her arm and grins. sorry, we keep getting distracted! she says. she says im getting into the start of a manic episode and that always makes me roll right over people in conversation. what do you want for your dick? you say um. i hadnt really thought about it. its not normally a choice beyond the type of surgery, you sort of just end up with whatever the doctors are able to make work? thats lame she says. why are normal doctors all so lame she says. ok, rude amy says. OBVIOUSLY im not talking about you babe riley says. and stop distracting me from my client! amy holds up her hands in mock surrender, an easy smile on her face.

you didnt bring a toy with you did you, riley asks. you say huh. she says sometimes people bring a toy that they want me to model it after and that makes everything a lot easier. you say no you didn't. you say i hadn't really thought about my preferences, can we go dealer's choice on this? amy pipes up. she says you REALLY dont want riley to go dealers choice. riley says shut up and get me another diet coke, i just finished this one. amy says yes princess. you honestly cant read whether it was meant to be mocking or endearing. riley turns back to you. ok, she says, lets start with basics. primate? canid? equine? suine? dolphin? i could give you a hyena pseudopenis but i dont know if that would be offensive. you say human is fine. she says please dont tell me you're gonna just be boring this whole time. you say define boring. she sighs deeply and starts massaging her temples. amy, having stepped into the room in time to hear the last bit of conversation, tousles rileys hair. she says sorry babe, customer's always right.

you work out the appearance of your soon-to-exist cock this way. riley asks questions about length, girth, hair, amount of semen generated, percentage growth when erect, and you try to give what you think are average answers every time. amy watches, bemused, the whole time. halfway through she leaves to get the bottle of vodka. she drinks five shots in fifteen minutes. you say i didnt think the human body had that much capacity for alcohol resistance. she says it doesnt. riley swats playfully at her arm.

eventually, riley grabs a set of crayons and a cocktail napkin. she says ok, i think we got it, scribbling furiously. she shows you a crayon drawing of a dick. this look good she asks? you squint at it. there are no measurements given and the medium does not allow you to make out any fine detail. you say yeah thats fine. amy tries and fails to hide a smile. riley chucks the napkin aside and rubs her hands together. boring parts done! she says. time to get messy she says. amy pours a sixth shot of vodka. she says dont forget the anesthetic first. riley rolls her eyes. she says OBVIOUSLY i didnt forget the anesthetic. she says ill be right back. as soon as she leaves the room, amy knocks back her shot. she turns to you. she says you mind if i stay and watch? she says i dont want to make you uncomfortable, but i like watching her work. shes cute when shes working. you say at this point youre not sure you would mind anything at all. you say at this point you dont think you would be fazed if she came back with a fully-formed dick wriggling around in her hand like a fish and sewed it onto me. she says dont tempt fate.

riley comes back with a black bag the size of her head, which she sets on the coffee table with a thunk. she points at you and says okay, clothes off. or pants off i guess. you can leave the shirt on. or take it off. i dont care. you take it off. she tells you to lie down and starts pulling things out of the bag. amy stands up from the sofa to give you the space to stretch out and sits on the coffee table instead, one leg pulled up to her chest with her chin resting on her knee.

riley pulls out a syringe from the bag, filled with pitch-black fluid. she says okay this will hurt for a second but only for a second. you say huh? she flips you over onto your belly and jabs the needle against your lower back, into your spinal column. it hurts like a bitch for all of two seconds and then you stop feeling anything at all in your lower body. you also cant move your legs, you realize. what just happened you ask, as she flips you onto your back again. she says i just killed all the cells in the nerves in your lower spine. she says its the easiest way to make sure none of the pain signals slip through, and she'll just replace them with living ones when she's done. you don't know how to respond to that.

she pulls more things out of the bag. a cartoonish array of different cutting implements come out. most of them are various sizes of medical scalpel, ring cutter, or saw, but you also see a pair of chunky pink safety scissors, a pizza cutter, a serrated bread knife, an x-acto, a drill with a comically long bit, a pair of wire cutters, gardening shears, and an awl. she says okay im gonna start operating so look away if you dont wanna see how your crotch looks while its being rearranged. especially if you think you might puke, i hate having to stop to clean up puke in the middle of surgery. you look away. you notice amy is watching transfixed.

for a couple of hours things go on like that. amy and riley make light conversation, with riley filling any silence by humming a wordless tune you dont know. the sounds and smells youre getting are enough to make you slightly sick; you continue not looking.

in the middle of hour two, riley stops. oh goddamnit, she says. what amy asks? riley says she forgot that shed need extra meat. amy says you started a surgery to give somebody a whole new organ and forgot youd need more tissue to do it? riley says shut up, im dumb. amy says no youre not babe. riley says ughhhhh now what. amy says just get his stem cells to grow the tissue you need. riley says nooooooo thatll take forever, and i have places to BE tomorrow, and if i stop putting pressure on him here hes going to bleed out through his cunt. you say wait, what? amy says well i dont know what you want me to do about this situation, i gave you my solution. riley says baaaaaaaaaaabe. amy says whaaaaaaaaaaaat. riley says i think we have some bacon in the fridge, will you pretty please with sprinkles on top go get it? amy says and what do i get in return? riley says a kiss. amy says id get that anyway. riley says my undying love and affection. amy says i have that already. riley says not making me angry at you so you can sleep under my roof without having to worry that ill turn your sweat glands into acid glands in the middle of the night. amy says that, plus i get to top tonight. riley says fiiiiiiiiine, just go get the bacon. amy gets up.

you say look uh i know you said not to question what youre doing but i kind of dont want a dick made of bacon, not to sound ungrateful. also did you say something about me bleeding out? riley says dont worry, if you bleed out ill put the blood back in, im a professional. you say thats not as reassuring as she thinks it is. riley says whos the doctor, mister? you say technically both of us. i have a phd in social sciences you say. she says wow, theyre just giving out doctorates for anything these days, huh? you say hey, rude. she says only teasing. you say anyway, uh, you didnt address the bacon dick thing? she says oh dont worry about it, my amys amazing, youll see.

amy comes back in with the package of bacon. do you need this in any particular shape she asks. riley says nah just give me a good amount of it. and make sure its spongy, so when he gets hard the blood can- amy cuts her off. she says dont worry, ive given you enough penises at this point that i think i know what penile tissue is like at this point. you say given her enough penises? what the hell does that mean? riley says hey, dont kinkshame! she sounds legitimately offended. you say sorry. amy pulls the bacon out of the package, holding it aloft in her left hand. you watch as the familiar look of a half-pound of bacon shifts and warps into a strange lump of fatty, spongy tissue of a waxy color. she hands it to riley. riley says thanks sis youre the best, love you! amy says no problem. riley says id kiss you if i wasnt elbow deep in this guys cunt right now. amy says kiss me after the surgerys done.

another two hours go by. the sounds of flesh being chopped, sawed, and stitched underscore riley and amys meaningless conversation about whether they HAVE to attend their acquaintance lisa's birthday party. riley says lisa probably wouldn't throw a birthday party if there wasn't some sort of scheme going on. amy agrees but says that doesnt indicate whether they should get involved with the scheme or not. you wonder dimly if you will ever feel your lower body again. you wonder if this is purgatory, an endless afternoon of lesbians bickering affectionately while one of them does surgery on you. you turn your head enough to look at the clock. its 5:26pm. where the fuck did the time go?

another hour passes. riley stands up. she is soaked up to her elbow in various bodily fluids - mostly blood, but youre not looking too closely. she says finally! she says just need to regrow your nerve cells now. you say is that going to take long? she says like twenty minutes maybe as she flips you over. you say ok. she jams a different needle into the same spot, injecting a strange yellow paste into your spine. she then flips you onto your back again. you feel brave enough to finally look at your crotch.

there is a completely normal human penis of average size there. you reach a hand down and touch it. you dont have any sensation in it yet since your nerves are all still dead, but it feels warm and soft under your hands. you smile, feeling tears come to your eyes. its over.

rileys talking. she says i followed your specifications except i had to cheat a bit on the nerves, you actually didnt have very many in your clit for whatever reason so your glans has maybe eight thousand fewer nerves than you wanted, sorry about that. she says i gave you balls in your scrotum for shape but since you said you didnt want kids they dont produce sperm. let me know if you want that changed she says. she says it should be fully functional in every respect, but if you notice any erectile dysfunction, incontinence, discoloration in urine or semen, priapism, or any other issue come back and we'll sort it out. if you notice it bleeding in ANY capacity, call me immediately. if im not answering call Amy, ill give you her number. if SHES not answering either then you can start seeing normal doctors, not that those idiots will know how to help you probably. if you want any changes to it call me and ill pencil you in to get it adjusted. get all that she asks. you nod. she says cool. she says itll be like $200, no rush if youre not able to pay right now. you say it might be a bit since youre still trying to pay interest on your student loan debt. wait, she says, they have student loans again? you nod. she says the world ended like thirty years ago, when did they set up student loans again? fuck, how much do you owe? you say a little under eighty thousand. she says jesus fuck, nevermind, its free. goddamn. you say thank you so much. she says yeah of course. do you want us to dress you or do you want to wait until you can move and do it yourself?

[hellodropbear]

it's time. (IV)

mapi leon x ingrid engen x child

part I, II and III

enjoy! this is the final part of the series

please send requests for any one shots for this family because I love them!

~~~~~~

The knock at the door was loud and rapid.

Mapi knew exactly who it was, having received very subtly passive text messages from Alexia about 15 minutes earlier.

Besides, it's not like it was going to be Ingrid, and nobody else visited her at the apartment.

She squeezed her eyes shut as she opened the door, bracing herself for whatever Alexia was going to say to her.

No words ever came out though, the midfielder just striding in and sitting herself on the sofa, her feet right beside where Isabel was playing.

"Ale!" The toddler's voice became excited as soon as she noticed her godmother walking in.

"Hey my Is." Her first words were incredibly exasperated, a long sigh escaping as her attention was turned to Mapi who was standing anxiously by the front door, having frozen after closing it.

"Frido told me that Ingrid is 'dejected and confused.'" She used her hands to make quotation marks around the adjectives before continuing. "She told me exactly what you said to her, how you said it. When you said it."

Mapi exhaled softly, walking over to where she had been playing with her daughter and sitting down, her little black cat settling in her lap.

"You told me to talk to her." Her voice came out like a mouse, quiet and hesitant.

"I didn't mean say one sentence on the pitch after the game and walk away! I meant think about what you wanted to say, how to say it and then have a grown up conversation with her!"

Isabel's head whipped back up, unfamiliar with the aggression in Alexia's voice. The midfielder winced, reducing her voice down to a softer tone.

"You are going to have to fix this Mapi, you can't avoid her like I know you were planning on doing."

The centre back's hands were occupied with the toys, but her mind was far from playing as she considered her options.

"What, so I tell her I want to be friends?"

Alexia nodded easily.

"But what if I can't? She's not someone I can just be friends with, Ale."

"Then you can just see where it takes you."

She shakes her head, her hands freezing around the toys in her hands.

"I wish it were that easy."

Alexia's heart broke with Mapi's voice, only now noticing the heartbreak written all over her best friend's face. Because this is really what Mapi thought was the right thing to do.

"Depriving yourself of happiness for the sake of your child is not going to end well for either of you."

Alexia's voice was softer now, her hand coming to a rest on Isabel's curly head of hair.

But Mapi just shook her head again, disagreeing.

"Isabel doesn't deprive me of happiness, she makes me happy. She's kept me going ever since Luis died."

The midfielder knew this, and she knew how much her best friend loved her child, how much she needed her and how much she relied on her. The baby was everything to Mapi and it was so obvious that she was just so afraid of doing something wrong, of messing up Isabel's childhood.

Everyone who knew the mother knew that wouldn't happen because she has done such a good job of raising the happy baby despite her own problems that she could easily let overcome her.

Once, she told Alexia that she had lost a best friend but been given a new one instead.

Another time, she had said that she would never be good enough for the baby that carries half of Luis around with her. She admitted that every once in a while, she would see tiny bits of her late best friend in her child and be so overcome with emotion.

Because it took her best friend dying to have this baby who she loved so much.

The day of Isabel's birth was a day of huge and conflicting emotions because Mapi loved the baby before she even saw her and couldn't imagine giving her away so quickly, but she also knew that if she hadn't just experienced the greatest heartbreak of her life she would have had to give her back to her parents.

And on top of that, the death of Luis and Isabel meant that they wouldn't be able to watch their little girl grow up, they wouldn't be able to be parents, something both of them desired so greatly.

So she loved her baby daughter so much, but part of that love would always be tainted by what she could have been, what she should have been; the fun aunt.

She was given the baby because she was the next best option after the two perfect parents, and she made a promise to herself that she would spend every day of her life trying to live up to what Isabel could have had.

Why should the baby lose out on such good parenting because of a tragic car accident?

And Mapi knew that she could never and would never break that promise.

Alexia knew that too, but she didn't think that Mapi finding someone to love would break her promise. If Ingrid was the right person, she would love and care for Isabel too, just like she already did.

"I know, Maria. But I think you deserve this, I know you do. If you don't like her like that I'll leave you alone, but I think you do."

Mapi's face softened.

"Of course I like her, Ale. She's kind, she's loyal, she's helpful. Is loves her and she loves Is. She's gorgeous - on the inside and the outside but she is so much more than that. She's complex, Alexia and-"

She was interrupted.

"And so are you. We all are complex and that's good. We all have our own stories and hardships, they just vary in size. You have a big story Mapi, I know. She knows that too."

"She doesn't know."

The centre back shook her head because in truth, she hadn't been able to bring herself to say it.

She had spent hours with Ingrid, every day over the past month they'd seen each other, gone on walks, had dinner together. Of course the topic of how Isabel was born should have come up, because Mapi was obviously a gay woman, it wouldn't have just been an accident.

She'd told Ingrid that she gave birth to Isabel, but nothing more.

Ingrid didn't feel like it was her place to ask any questions, and Mapi didn't know how to say anything more without breaking into tears for her lost best friend. She couldn't tell Ingrid about the pressure she felt because the Norwegian wouldn't have understood. Surely, she couldn't have?

Alexia's eyes rose and then focussed back down on Mapi.

"She doesn't know about Luis? Why you were out for so long?"

She shrugged, letting out a long exhale.

"I said that I gave birth to Isabel and didn't want to leave her so soon to go to training. She didn't ask any more questions. It's not like I lied or anything."

"I think you need to talk to her, Mapi. You don't need to talk about Isabel, but you need to tell her your thoughts. Try and be friends, for the sake of the team, please."

Mapi shrugged, telling Alexia that she would consider it.

The midfielder also suggested visiting the psychologist, but the suggestion was quickly shot down, as it was when Jonatan suggested it on her first day back.

Mapi had been to a psychologist once since Isabel was born, and it was a secret she would likely take to her grave. It had been a low point and she didn't know who to talk to, so she searched up a psychologist in Barcelona and went the next day.

She had sobbed on that sofa as Isabel slept in her arms, entirely unsure of what to do next and how to deal with her career, with her baby and with the grief that consumed her everyday life.

The psychologist had sat there with a neutral face, appearing bored as Mapi poured her heart out. She only spoke when Mapi's cries were reduced to quiet whimpers, telling her that she was depressed and shouldn't have taken on a load as big as a whole child when she was still clearly grieving her best friend.

The referral to the psychiatrist had only made the Spaniard feel worse, and she had returned to her apartment with less security in her decisions than she had before she went.

Another promise was made that day, and that was that she would never return to a psychologist, not unless she was forced to by the club. She would deal with everything else on her own.

~~~~~~

"You've been so good to me, Ingrid, and I'm so grateful. But I'm sorry, I can't do this. I can't have a girlfriend."

The words echoed through Ingrid's mind in the days that followed, unsure of what had happened, where she went wrong.

Mapi was the first person she'd become friends with, and she thought it was going well. She thought the Spaniard had liked her just as much as Ingrid liked the Spaniard, but clearly not. She had read the signs wrong or something, because you wouldn't say that to someone you liked.

She heard Isabel calling for her on the bus on the way home again, but this time she just smiled and waved.

She couldn't bring herself to sit next to Mapi, not when she had left her in the dust as soon as she recited her rehearsed lyric. It was confusion that she felt for a few days, but it didn't take long for that confusion to morph into anger and bitterness.

Frido had been understanding throughout it all, listening to all Ingrid's anger and confusion, advising her over and over to just talk to the Spaniard.

"She's got a child and we don't even know where she came from. It took her 14 months to start training again after giving birth when it usually takes up to 9. There must be something going on, Ingrid. She said she can't have a girlfriend, not that she doesn't want one."

The Norwegian had scowled, brushing off Frido's concern for Mapi and complaining that she was supposed to be on her side.

Frido was, but she was level-headed, she was smart. She wasn't blinded by anger or love or whatever Ingrid felt for the short centre-back with the adorable child.

"I don't want to talk to her, I don't want to go and beg. I just want it to be easy, I wish it was just easy."

Frido shook her head, an arm around Ingrid.

"It's not easy for an average person, let alone someone like Mapi who clearly has so much stuff going on. We don't know if she has anyone to talk to about anything, about raising a child."

"Alexia is like Isabel's other parent, she's been there since day one, apparently. Mapi's mum and Alexia were the only ones at the hospital when Isabel was born. She's not completely alone."

Ingrid shrugged but Frido frowned, becoming more and more curious about Mapi found herself with this child, and what the mystery was.

It wasn't her business, Frido knew that, but everyone was so proud of the Spaniard when she went back to training, her first game back. Their pride in the special centre back was more important than anything else after a long two years off.

And Mapi's emotions on that first day, the seemingly happy tears that she had wept in the changing room. They felt like more than happiness about a return to football.

Although, Frido couldn't be sure. Maybe Mapi just loved football more than anything else, a perfectly reasonable and realistic explanation to the emotions that were witnessed that day.

Ingrid knew it was more than that, more than just a return to football that had made her so happy. Because Ingrid knew Mapi, and while football was important to the Spaniard, it was nowhere near as important as her life outside of the sport: her friends, her family. Her daughter.

It was something that Ingrid was so drawn to. It was clear on the pitch how much she loved the sport, how she thrived when she was playing it. But outside of that... it was like she didn't play football.

Her apartment was like a sanctuary, a place cut off from the rest of the world where Isabel could live in naive happiness and Mapi could rest with her baby and her cat. It exuded happiness, bright colours and toys displayed, the fridge decorated with bits of scrap paper covered in a selection of scribbled lines. Mapi would draw Ingrid's attention over to the fridge when a new piece appeared, bragging about how her child was an artistic genius, how she would grow up to be just like her Mami.

She was so full of love for someone so small and it made Ingrid's heart weak, unable to fully comprehend the stark difference between Mapi at football and Mapi with Isabel.

She fell in love, she thought, with both versions of her.

With the one who would carelessly block dangerous shots, carefree and boisterous on the field, assertive and aggressive when she needed to be but always running off with a laugh afterwards. She lead the team in a way that even Alexia admired, the young players drawn to her uncanny ability to make everyone laugh.

She fell in love with the one who spoke in a childish voice, relishing in the never ending hugs and kisses that Isabel would provide, swinging her around in the park and never being more than a couple metres away from the baby that she loved so so much. A perfect mother with a perfect daughter, both so full of love for each other.

And Ingrid felt so lucky that she could see both sides of the Spaniard, that she could witness her around two things she loved so much and compare how differently she materialised her love for both of them.

But then she made her return to a competitive game, in Valencia with a perfect comeback.

Ingrid was so excited for her, happy to see her thriving on the field, a place she loved. She played brilliantly as well, quietening all the people who said she shouldn't be there, that she had spent too much time off.

She proved that she had, in fact, been that missing piece of Barcelona in their past two years of struggle, easily filling in the gap with her generational talent.

And the Norwegian was so proud, despite not knowing the whole story, not knowing all the challenges that Mapi had faced between the birth of Isabel and now. She knew enough to be proud and that is all that mattered.

She had smiled brightly at the Spaniard, walking towards her and pulling her into a hug ready to whisper her congratulations.

But Mapi had other plans, her words rendering Ingrid speechless as she walked away, back down the tunnel with Alexia's arm swung over her shoulders.

But the Norwegian felt frozen in time, unsure of what had just happened and why she said whatever she had just said.

She'd been pulled from her frozen state quickly by Frido, who had noticed the interaction and frowned.

It was easy for the Swede to recognise her best friend's crush, and also to recognise how it was so easily reciprocated by Mapi. She hadn't expected Mapi to say what she said to Ingrid, and was suddenly filled with overprotective and frustrated anger.

~~~~~~

Isabel had begun to miss Ingrid's presence after about a week. It was clear when Mapi took her out on her walks, her small head peering out of the pram, trying to spot the tall Norwegian with those warm and comfortable arms.

Mapi brushed it off every time, but it didn't help the pit in her stomach at all.

The Spaniard was lonely, she realised, and she had been since Isabel was born.

Sure, she had a person living with her, but there was only so much she could say to a baby so little without going crazy at the lack of response. Other than the word 'Mami', of course.

She was lonely before Ingrid, and it was only after she pushed the Norwegian away that she realised how she filled that hole so easily.

Conversation had fallen so easily between them and it filled the silences that Mapi had grown so used to as she lived her life with the baby. She enjoyed talking to someone about things that weren't about her grief, her baby.

She enjoyed talking about herself again, simultaneously getting to know Ingrid and  everything she stood for.

She fell for the Norwegian, quickly, but that wasn't hard for her to understand, it hadn't taken her long to realise it.

It was harder to realise that they couldn't be anything more than friends, that she had to push her away - the exact opposite to what she actually wanted to do. She knew Ingrid would be upset. That she'd be confused and angry.

But it's what she knew was right. At least it's what she thought was right.

She wasn't so sure anymore, her heart breaking a little bit more every time Isabel looked around for the Norwegian, her face falling at her absence over and over again.

"Ingrid!"

The lift doors opened to a sweaty Norwegian, headphones in and her eyes on her phone.

Isabel saw her first, Mapi's eyes also on her phone on the trip down.

Both of the adults looked up at each other, Ingrid almost immediately diverting her eyes down to Isabel who was beaming.

"Hello Is! I've missed you!" She smiled at Isabel, and Mapi's smile dimmed slightly.

It was a reminder of what she had pushed away, of everything she couldn't have.

The baby giggled happily, reaching her arms up to try and get Ingrid to lift her.

The Norwegian made eye contact with Mapi, silently checking if it was alright and the centre back nodded easily.

Ingrid tried to ignore the sadness in Mapi's eyes. Maybe the centre back did miss her. Maybe she did regret pushing her away.

Maybe there was a reason why she pushed her away, more than just to hurt the Norwegian.

She picked Isabel up easily and the baby fit perfectly on her hip, planting a kiss on her cheek and wrapping her arms around her neck.

She looked over at Mapi, who was still somewhat frozen by the elevator door.

"Mami! Ingrid." She pointed at the Norwegian. "Play!"

Mapi shook her head.

"No, Is. Ingrid can't come with us."

The baby frowned, tilting her head at Mapi.

"Why?"

"Because she's just been on a walk! She can't go on two."

The Spaniard's voice was weak and Isabel's lip trembled, her smile disappearing as she understood her mother's words.

"No!"

She began to cry and Mapi stood frozen on the spot, completely unsure of what to do.

She wasn't a bad mother, she was better than this. She knew how to calm her crying baby but for some reason she just couldn't move.

She bit back her own tears, refusing to let Ingrid see her cry, to see her so weak and helpless with her baby when she was supposed to be a strong and independent mother.

Ingrid let Isabel cry into her neck, rocking her softly and staring at a frozen Spaniard.

"It's fine, Mapi. I can come."

She frowned at her still frozen form, unsure how else she could deal with the situation.

Mapi didn't know either, but she nodded, somewhat misunderstanding Ingrid's offer when she shoved the pram over to her.

"I can't, I can't deal with this right now." Mapi felt hysterical, but she tried desperately to keep it together. "Please just take her, calm her down. She hates me, she hates me so much."

It wasn't true, obviously, because Isabel loved Mapi more than anything.

But Ingrid knew Mapi, and she knew she wouldn't listen to anything that she had to say in attempts to comfort her.

"I'll take her, come back in an hour or so and you sort yourself out, Mapi. She's confused, she doesn't hate you. She just got used to me and then you got rid of me and is confused about it all. She's only little. So go back to your apartment, calm yourself down and sort yourself out. I'll calm her down and bring her back in one piece."

Mapi nodded aggressively, stepping backwards into the closed lift doors, awkwardly pressing the button as Ingrid walked away with her still crying baby.

It was only when she reached her apartment again that everything hit her. The confusion, the guilt, the stress, the embarrassment.

And she cried. She let everything out as loud as she could because for the first time in so long she was alone in the apartment, no child to hear her cry, no friends to help her work through the emotions.

It never worked, either. Crying was the best way for Mapi to release everything, she realised and she took advantage of the empty apartment as she realised that she hadn't been able to cheer her own daughter up, she had passed off to her teammate as she cried.

She was weak, she was a terrible mother.

She couldn't do it anymore.

Luis would be disappointed.

Worse, Luis would be heartbroken.

And that's what she thought as she fell asleep, the tears tiring her eyes until they dropped closed, sending her off to a restless sleep on the sofa.

~~~~~~

"Wake up, Mapi."

She must have forgotten to lock the door because Ingrid had walked in as she slept and was now sat on the other side of the sofa.

Mapi's eyes snapped open, looking around in confusion before sinking back into herself as she realised it was not just a dream.

"Isabel is ok. She's asleep and I put her down in her cot. She stopped crying pretty quickly and was happy at the park. She fell asleep in her pram on the way back."

Mapi nodded, sitting up and wiping her eyes.

"You need to tell me what's going on."

The Spaniard frowned. There was a lot going on.

"Which bit?" She smiled weakly, faltering under the Norwegian's harsh gaze.

"Why you said what you said. Why you just froze when Isabel was crying, practically running away and letting me deal with it. Why you came up here and cried yourself to sleep. I deserve to know this. I at least deserve to know why you pushed me away so easily and so suddenly."

If there was a time that Mapi wished the floor would swallow her whole, it was right then and there. Because she wasn't prepared for this conversation, she didn't know how she was supposed to have it without breaking down all over again.

It wasn't an easy topic, talking about why she can't date which is what had caused the whole debacle. It opened the whole story about Luis and how Isabel was created.

And of all times, this night was the worst possible time for Mapi to speak about Luis. Right after she realised how disappointed he would be in her parenting, how sad he would be that his daughter was being raised by someone so incapable.

It was funny, really, how one tiny situation could change Mapi's entire perspective, how it could completely destroy any confidence she had about her parenting abilities.

She didn't want to talk about it, not at all. But Ingrid was right there, a judgemental yet somewhat concerned eye focused on the Spaniard who seemed to be struggling to form a sentence.

The silence lasted multiple minutes and Ingrid was about to speak again right before Mapi opened her mouth.

She didn't know what she was going to say, but she knew she needed to say something, so she did.

She started at the beginning, with Isabel's health issues and Ingrid had no idea where it was going.

Why did it matter that Mapi's best friend's wife was sick?

But very quickly, as Mapi spoke about their desires to become parents, everything began to fall into place.

And the Norwegian was horrified by the tragic story she was hearing, a lump in her throat forming as the mother lamented how she was the only option left to raise Isabel, how she was alone in her final trimester until Alexia came over two weeks later and found out that Luis had died, that her best friend had been left behind with his unborn baby, her life changed forever.

His genetics still growing inside her long after he took his final breaths.

Mapi didn't stop as her voice broke, moving away from the topic of Luis and onto how much Isabel meant to her, how much she worried that she would make a mistake, that her friends would have made such better parents than she did.

How she had to have full focus on raising Isabel and couldn't be distracted by anything - she couldn't be distracted by football in the beginning which is why she took so long to come back. How she can't be distracted by a girlfriend now, which is why she pushed Ingrid away.

Ingrid wiped a tear away as Mapi's fell freely, continuing to explain how she had been depressed but unable to get herself any help after the one disastrous trip to the psychologist.

How she felt incapable of unloading her issues onto others, only telling Alexia the necessary stuff to stop her from nagging.

"Luis would be so disappointed in me because I have ruined everything. I can't do anything by myself and I never should have agreed to keep her. I love her so much, I don't want to ruin her."

That was where the Spaniard stopped, seemingly overcome with emotion as she broke down into her hands, Ingrid quick to move to her side and pull her into a warm hug.

"You're so wrong, Mapi. So wrong. I've never heard anyone be more wrong in my life. You are the best mother Isabel could ask for and it hurts that you can't see that."

Mapi could only cry, too conflicted to even try and decide what was true.

"Ale said I needed to talk to you, to fix things. Because I don't want you to hate me and I definitely don't hate you. But Ingrid, we can't just be friends, you know that."

She looked up at the Norwegian, who easily noticed the anguish all over her face.

"Why don't we try? See where it takes us. We can figure it out together, Mapi, you don't have to do everything alone."

She nodded, trying to convince the both of them that they could try.

And Mapi nodded hesitantly.

"Isabel does like you."

Ingrid chuckled quietly, nodding.

"Not as much as she loves you. She was asking for you about 2 minutes after we left. You are so good to her."

Mapi smiled, leaning into Ingrid's embrace.

"I don't think I can be just friends with you, Ingrid. I think that's why I've been so upset."

Ingrid hummed in agreement, waiting for her to continue.

"I've been so worried about losing you and so worried about being distracted from Is. But I don't think I ever could be, I don't think you'd ever let me be."

The Norwegian chuckled.

"I don't think she'd ever let you, she loves the attention too much."

And just like that, Mapi knew.

Ingrid was the right person, the person Alexia had been going on about for years, since before Isabel was even considered.

"And Mapi?"

Mapi looked up, her eyes meeting Ingrid's.

"I don't think I could ever just be friends with you either."

She smiled, placing her hand around Mapi's neck and drawing her close.

Mapi leaned in closer and waited for Ingrid to finally close that small gap.

And then Ingrid's lips were on hers, a promise, a declaration of love.

And Mapi made another promise to herself, right then and there.

She would never let Ingrid go.

~~~~~~

right so that’s the end! hope you’ve enjoyed so far!

not the end of Isabel Leon because I already have a few requests for her that have been thought about or planned (some of them)

I also have the blurb of her at the Olympics (2032) doing her sport that nobody has guessed so I’ll give you an obvious clue - it’s an action sport lol

I’m considering putting her in something else too but they’re like polar opposite disciplines so let me know if you think yes or no

and please send me requests because I want to write more about Isabel!

thanks for reading and for the love on this story, you’ve made me cry from all the nice messages

have a good day :)

[roxasagainst]

jujutsu kaisen one-shot masterlist!

WE AINT GOIN NOWHERE!! (update 8 • 26, adding my fav excerpts under the links :3)

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅「 ✦ Satoru Gojo ✦ 」.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅

⊹₊⋆ sour, then sweet (college AU) wc - 1.5k

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ — “What if I told you I bought everything at your bake sale, left a check on the living room table…and we have all the time in the world right now…would your answer still be the same?”

⊹₊⋆ sick for me (ex!boyfriend AU) wc - 4.6k

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ “Yeah, princess? You like that? Like when I pick up the pace and Make. You. Take. It.”

⊹₊⋆ losing all sense (arranged marriage AU) wc - 7.3k

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ And just like the cake cutting, when he comes up from between your legs he wipes the corners of his mouth with his fingers and puts them in his mouth.

⊹₊⋆ limitless [draft one], [draft two] (roommates AU) wc (all) - 9.5k

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ I. “Say something”, he pleads, his voice soft with an edge of desperation, “Please.”

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ II. “If you don't want this”, he mutters into your skin, “just say so, baby…”

go fuck yourself (enemies to parents AU LMAOOO) wc - ???

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅「 ✦ Suguru Geto ✦ 」.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅

⊹₊⋆ confession (priest AU) wc - 2k

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ Through his robe and the stupid dress your friend picked out, the Lord wasn't the only thing that was rising, and your heartbeat picked up all over again.

⊹₊⋆ you snooze, you lose (bartender AU) wc - 3.5k

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ “Mhmm…that’s it, sweetheart, make a mess on my fingers like that…you’re doing so good.”

⊹₊⋆ tear you apart (teacher AU) wc - 4.1k

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ “Well, you're wrong. I could hear you perfectly fine. Moaning my name like that…what were you even thinking about?”

⊹₊⋆ happy birthday, mrs. president (husband/wife AU) wc - 2.1k

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ “G-Gonna make you a mommy, sweetheart…”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅「 ✦ Choso Kamo ✦ 」.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅

⊹₊⋆ intrusive thoughts (toxic bf AU) wc - 2.8k

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ “More, baby? C’mon, we talked about this, use your words.”

⊹₊⋆ perfect (rockstar AU) wc - 2.3k

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ “‘M glad, babe. But next time, let's not forget to eat dinner before fucking.”

⊹₊⋆ full moons and mouths (vampire hunter AU) wc - 5.5k

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ His hands grip your hips harder, his movements rough and demanding. Wanting more. Needing more.

⊹₊⋆ hey, emo boy! (tattoo artist AU) wc - ???

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅「 ✦ Ryomen Sukuna ✦ 」.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ✦ ‧₊˚.

⊹₊⋆ cherry waves I, II , III and IV (heian era AU) wc (all) - 9.9k

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ I. “You like that? Yeah you do, fuckin’ slut, takin’ me so well…f-fuck…’n so tight too…”

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ II. “And I'd be in a much better mood if you gave me a kiss, my love.”

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ III. “Letting me fuck this pretty face of yours…shit…I love you…”

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ IV. “Kuna…we've ruined four perfectly good kids by spoiling them all the time.”

beware (mafia AU) wc. - ???

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅「 ✦ Toji Fushiguro ✦ 」.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅

⊹₊⋆ sweet nothin' (neighbor AU) wc - 3.7k

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─“Name sounds good comin’ out of that pretty mouth – mhmm – wanna hear it again…”

⊹₊⋆ serpent's kiss (obsessive AU) wc - 2.5k

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ You're the prettiest when he's in control also and especially when you moan and scream his name like it's the only thing in your vocabulary.

⊹₊⋆ don't tell mom! (stepdad AU) wc - 3.1k

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ ...‘M givin’ you one more chance to call me ‘daddy’ and behave, or I'm gonna take care of it my way.”

⊹₊⋆ killshot (bodyguard AU) wc - 1.8k

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ ‘Might just have to fuck this pretty cunt every day until you get knocked up…’

⊹₊⋆ companion playlist here!

⊹₊⋆ enable my shitty writing by sending a ko-fi!

⊹₊⋆ uploads might be a little slower considering I'm writing a book!

[oneglass-zinfandel]

Love me Love me Love me

Pairing: John Doe x Reader

Type: Smut

Length: one-shot

Summery: John Doe gets needy again during a usual cuddle session, you decide to make sure he knows you love him more then anything

Note: I'm writing this two hours before the day ends, I'm also legit on the toilet deadass, don't come for me. Oh and please send in request in general if you liked this<3

Warning: Overstimulation, Praise, Multiple Orgasms

You were at your boring job working at a gas station, only a few more minutes until the end of your shift. Your lovely boyfriend would usually be with you during your shift but today you told him to wait for you home. It was a bad choice seeing you were really bored at the moment. The thought of soon going home was the only thing pushing you thru.

Eventually after a little while you clocked out, getting in the bus home. Unlocking the house door you almost immediately got jumoscared by Doe coming all up in your face excited. "Darling!! Youre finally home! I'm so happy! Iv missed you much! It was so boring without you.." his voice squeaky and high pitched, he was rather needy for attention at the moment. His focus was always on you anyways so you got used to it over time.

"Doe dear, give me a moment to put away my things and change and then we can cuddle, sound good?" You said smiling at slightly taller/shorter male. Doe smiles at you widely saying how he can't wait and craves you as you moved to the shared bedroom chuckling at his enthusiasm.

After a few minutes you freshened up and changed into something more comfortable, getting yourself a drink you sit down on the couch. Doe quickly comes over to the couch sitting beside you hugging into your side. Putting his arms around your torso and nuzzling his head into your neck, his hair tickling you. "Oh Darling how I missed you! I love you I love you I love you!"

His words melted you as always as you put one arm on his head petting him which made Doe let out a purr.

You stayed there for a while just enjoying each others touch and warmth, Doe saying sweet words the whole time as you exchanged them once in a while. You couldn't help but notice how his hips would slightly buck when you praised him, told him how much he means to you. Smirking from the realization you couldn't help but tease him.

"Doe Dear, are you needy? Your bucking yourself agents me" your words falling off your tongue in a smooth voice. "Of course Darling! I need you so bad, iv missed you so much.." Chuckling from your partners statement you couldn't help but smirk to yourself,your thoughts running wild.

"Oh? Is that so? Well then, let me take care of you" Smirking as you spoke,standing up as Doe clinged to your arm, following your eagerly.

Making your way to the bedroom you lay Doe on the bedsheets as he looks at you with his big black heart eyes. You move to take off your top leaving your chest out for him as you sit down beside him, leaning him up agents your arm.

"Doe dear, let me show you how much I love you, your always so sweet, i want to show you my love thru pleasure~" "I'll stroke your pretty cock till you start cumming dry, alrighty?"

His eyes shot open from your words nodding eagerly "Please Darling! Your touch is all I want,it's all I need, I'll cum as many times as you want me to" As he said that you started to pull down his pants, taking off his old boxers as his cock springs free fully hard. It was thick and around 5.4 inches, his pubes not shaved in a while. Placing your hand on his needy cock he almost immediately started to whine.

Stroking his cock gently, he whined out gripping into your arm gently. "A-ah darling- t-the tip is sensit- Ahh~!" Before he could even finish you used your pointer finger to rub his tip, sliding up and down his slit as pre-cum dripped down from his little hole. Moving your hand up and down taking your time to stop every few seconds to rub his tip, driving him insane.

Doe was known between you two for cumming super fast, he blamed it on his undying love for you and you never really complained knowing he'd go for as long as you'd need him to.

After a while of Does Moans he felt close as he gripped your arm as he started to buck his hips into your hand. "A-ahh~ Ag-a~ D-Darling~ s-so close- An-ghh~" Kissing the top of his head you encourage him to cum as soon enough he spills his seed all over your hand in thick white ropes. He keeps on cumming as he Shaked moaning your name and "I love you"s. But even after he's done cumming you dont stop stroking him as he moans and out gripping your arm, to gone to even think about begging you to stop, knowing he wanted every sensation.

The night filled with Does Moans as you keep pumping his cock, milking him orgasm after orgasm. You didn't care about being untouched as long as he was shaking in your arms as you told him how much you love him with each stroke.

--------------------------------------------------

Okay so that was something,thank you for reading my dear sluts

[halucynator]

False Fronts IV

part 4 of 4

fluff version.

hii omg i finally did this im so happy with this there's an angst version as well bc who doesnt like some good ol' angst from time to time

also the other version was released early bc im stupid so ty to @berryzxx for reminding me (i just want a reason to tag you)

pairing: theodore nott x fem!reader

warnings:fluffff arguments (oohOOHOoH) swearing, not so fake dating (but are they?), the and y/n being idiots, not a happy ending, not proof read (as usual) and my writing

summary: being asked to fake date someone to get a petty ex off their back is the worst possible way of being friend-zoned. you, however, were willing to take any chances to get as close as you could to theodore nott.

angst is hereeee

reblogs with tags are always appreciated mwah

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4: angst

The tension between you and Theo had been brewing for days, each passing moment adding weight to the unspoken emotions that hung heavily in the air. Unable to bear the silence any longer, you initiated the conversation, the frustration and confusion evident in your voice.

"Theo, can we talk?" you asked, your voice tinged with a mix of apprehension and determination.

He glanced up from his book, an unreadable expression flickering across his face. "Sure, what's up?"

"It's about us," you began cautiously, the words feeling heavier than you'd anticipated. "I feel like there's something here, between us. But I'm confused about where you stand."

Theo's expression flickered, a fleeting mixture of uncertainty and conflict clouding his features. "I don't know if diving into a relationship right now is the best idea."

"But this isn't just about a relationship," you insisted, your voice rising in exasperation. "It's about acknowledging what's been brewing between us, Theo."

He sighed, a hint of frustration creeping into his voice. "I'm not sure what I want, Y/N. It's complicated."

"Complicated?" You scoffed, the frustration simmering within you. "What's so complicated about being honest?"

"Why can't you understand?" Theo's voice rose, mirroring your frustration. "I don't want to mess things up and end up causing you pain."

"You're not getting it!" Your voice echoed in the charged atmosphere. "I need to know where we stand, and your indecision isn't helping."

Theo's reluctance grated on your nerves, fueling the intensity of the argument. "I need you to be honest with me, Theo. I can't keep waiting for something that might never happen!"

"I know, but I'm conflicted," he admitted, his tone wavering.

Frustration boiled within you. "Conflicted about what? Us?"

His gaze shifted away, a mix of guilt and concern clouding his features. "I... I don't want Jess to hurt you."

"I can handle Jess, she isn't your responsibility," you asserted firmly, the frustration simmering beneath your words.

"You don't get it, do you?" Theo's voice cut through the tension, edged with frustration. "She's MY ex."

His words stung, and the heat of the argument intensified. "And that gives you the right to dictate what's good for me?" you shot back, your voice rising in indignation.

"Look, I'm just trying to protect you," Theo retorted, his tone laced with urgency.

"Protect me? From what?" Your voice rose, the frustration boiling over. "I can handle my own affairs, Theo. I don't need you deciding what's best for me!"

The tension crackled between you, each word spoken a testament to the underlying emotions that had escalated into a heated argument. The clash of opinions and conflicting desires hung heavily in the charged atmosphere, leaving the potential relationship teetering on the edge of uncertainty. The anticipation in the room was suffocating.

Days stretched into weeks, and the awkward distance between you and Theo became the new norm. Despite the avoidance, every accidental encounter sent a rush of conflicting emotions through you. Butterflies danced in your stomach, a bittersweet reminder of the connection you once shared, now lost in a fog of misunderstanding.

Each time your paths crossed, the unresolved tension simmered beneath the surface. The silent longing for resolution battled with the ache of hurt and confusion, leaving you caught in a turmoil of emotions whenever Theo came into view.

The avoidance hadn't dulled the effect he had on you. His presence was still magnetic, drawing your attention despite the unspoken rift that divided you both. The simple sight of him evoked a rush of emotions, a testament to the bond you once shared and the rift that now tore you apart.

With every passing moment, the yearning for clarity clashed with the fear of confronting the situation, leaving you entangled in a web of unresolved emotions and unspoken apologies, the butterflies a painful yet undeniable reminder of the connection you couldn't seem to sever.

Summoning your courage, you approached Theo's dorm, determined to offer an overdue apology. A hesitant knock resulted in eerie silence. Unsure of Theo's whereabouts, you glanced around the deserted hallway, your resolve mingling with uncertainty.

Taking a tentative step forward, you reached for the doorknob, finding it unlocked. The decision to enter felt both intrusive and necessary. The room was devoid of life, the emptiness echoing the void that had developed between you and Theo.

Your gaze drifted to Theo's desk, where a single piece of paper lay. The handwriting was unmistakable, sending a jolt of emotions through you as you read the words:

Last night was so fun, so glad you dropped Y/N.

- Jess

Disbelief and a pang of deception ricocheted through you. The words were like a gut punch, shattering the fragile hope you had held for reconciliation and understanding. Confusion clouded your thoughts as you grappled with the apparent evidence before you.

Your mind raced, attempting to process the meaning behind Jess's note. It seemed to confirm your worst fears, undermining the fragile trust you had in the situation and leaving your heart aching with the weight of assumed betrayal.

With tear-filled eyes and a heavy heart, you turned away, the intention of offering an apology now replaced by a swirl of hurt. The unaddressed misunderstanding had taken root, poisoning the hope for amends and leaving you in a cloud of uncertainty and hurt.

After catching a glimpse of the note and feeling a surge of mixed emotions, you found yourself actively avoiding Theo. Days turned into a tense cycle of dodging encounters and deflecting questions, leaving Theo increasingly perplexed by your sudden distance.

"Why are you avoiding me?" Theo finally confronted you, his tone a blend of confusion and concern.

Your gaze wavered, torn between the urge to explain and the fear of facing the truth. "I just need some space," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper, evading the heart of the matter.

Theo's expression shifted from confusion to hurt, his eyes clouded with the weight of your avoidance. "Did i do something wrong?" he pressed gently, hoping for a glimmer of understanding.

You hesitated, unsure how to voice the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you. "I don't know," you muttered, the words falling between you like an insurmountable barrier.

The tension between you was palpable, an unspoken rift widening with every passing moment of silence. The distance between you grew, leaving both of you stranded in a sea of unanswered questions and unspoken feelings.

Theo sensed your unease. "Hey, something's been off. What's going on?" he asked, a tinge of concern in his voice.

"Well..." you hesitated, before showing him the note, unaware that he didn't know about it. "She sent you that note?" Theo's voice edged with surprise and confusion.

"What! No," you replied hastily, caught off guard by his assumption, unaware he didn't have any knowledge of the note's existence.

Theo's eyebrows furrowed in bewilderment. "I'm lost. What's happening?" he asked, completely unaware of the note you were holding, his confusion evident in his expression.

"You're being accused of cheating on me with Jess, but now I think you're being framed," you explained, your voice tinged with concern as you showed him the note.

"What? I would never! You know that!" Theo's words spilled out, shock and disbelief evident in his tone and expression.

His vehement denial resonated with the sincerity you knew so well, and a wave of relief washed over you. You knew him, knew his values, and believed in his loyalty.

"I love you, I'd never do anything to hurt you," he continued, desperation and honesty lacing his words as he took his face in his hands turning it to face him.

His earnest declaration struck a chord within you, dispelling some of the doubts that had clouded your mind. You realized that amidst the chaos and confusion, trusting in your bond with Theo was paramount.

"Yeah, I-I'm sorry." you stammered, your voice filled with a mix of emotions, as you finally let go of the lingering doubts.

Theo's eyes softened with understanding, a gentle smile forming on his lips. Without another word, he closed the distance between you, enveloping you in a reassuring embrace. In that moment, the unspoken affection bloomed, filling the air with an undeniable warmth.

With a rush of emotions, you met halfway, your lips gently pressing against his in a tender and heartfelt kiss.

"I love you too" you whispered as he pulled you in again for a kiss.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡*:☆

hi hello! this is the end of the series. check out the angsty ver here if you'd like! here are a few fics to read while i work on my next one:

masterlist

reader's choice (mattheo x reader)

reader's choice (theodore x reader)

i honestly had so much fun writing this thank you for sticking along with this <33 sorry for how late this is i was like so busy and im also lazy so yea

taglist: @hisparentsgallerryy @jetblackpayne @delulu4marauders @ahead-fullofdreams

if you want to be added to my theodore/any other character's taglist just send me an ask/dm!

[fillinforlater]

It’s that time of the year again. What are some of your favorite smuts released in 2023?

Monday of Appreciation: Part 104

Hello everyone, Smite here!

2023 is coming to a close and it's been quite the year, a mixture of "this is a bridge year for greater things to come" and "WE LIVIN' NOW MF!" What is a bit different this year is that the highs weren't as high and the lows weren't as low compared to previous years---maybe that is just me getting older, maybe it's hindsight. Either way, I'm good and this year was good.

But some things are more than just good. I'm of course talking about these writers and their stories that I have featured today. All of them deserve special mention, but I want to focus on two of them specifically.

In a year of great, fantastic and already legendary fics, these two stand out.

Without further ado, let's dive into the final MoA of this year:

-1-

@fanfiction4sooya: Can't Save You Now ft. Chaewon, Kazuha, Sakura

I- I- I just read the damn tags and new I one day had to give this a shot. ff4sooya has crazy ideas, futa galore, different dynamics and kinks, which is SO MY THING. This has Mommy and Daddy involved in an absurd (and absurdly hot) threesome that I couldn't take my eyes off.

Now I definitely need to read more and you should too because I bet there are a bunch of Masterpieces in that long Masterlist!

-2-

@iznsfw: Drunken ft. Olivia Hye

Is it really a Monday of Appreciation post without IZ?

Seriously, what this genius is able to cook up in a commission or in the currently ongoing (HYPE) IZ DAYS OF CHRISTMAS is absolutely incredible. We have long stories with in depth characters and love drama that ends not only smuttily but sweetly. Who the fuck needs books, when you can just binge IZ?

With "Drunken", they have once again hit it out of the FUCKIING park. There is never enough Daddy kink fics, yes, but mine seem like nonsensical cringe porn compared to this beauty of a piece. I love how it plays with my heart, no I'm not crying---okay, now that is hot.

Let me change that: there is three very fucking special stories today!

(I think this might even be better than Levi's Hyeju, wtf)

-3-

@cataboliac: Enkindle ft. Wendy

Firstly: I LOVE YOU CATA, BIG QT!

Secondly: "Enkindle" feels a bit like coming home, like a day in Paradise, like the one person that shines so bright in your life that you don't want it to go. And you know, that is the great thing: this might be Cata's final fic, the farewell, but not only is his life gonna be great and he'll be super happy - we also get to read this again and again, and I'm sure I will one day.

Thank you, Cata, for hanging around!

Thirdly: I'M GONNA KISS YOU, CATA!

-4-

@writerpeach: Delectation ft. Wonyoung, Yujin

1.000 Notes, and it's still not enough for what is my pick for fic of the year (FOTY? FOOTY? There is a scene like that, yep). IZ*ONE truly never dies, but it is IVE and these absolute super stars, bomb shells with flawless faces and different, yet irresistible bodies that have us in a frenzy.

Talking about frenzy, all those 30,699 words are a frenzy. I thought Peach would set it up with a long and painful tease that has us edging the entire time BUT NOPE this has so much fucking smut, so many lines of neediness and horniness, it is impossible to finish in one try or two tries or... I dunno, seven-hundred tries?

It's detailed, it's straight forward, it's sex from every fucking angle, I can never get tired of this. I will go so far and say this is Peach's magnum opus, the GOAT fic by the GOAT writer. At least for that day, I can say this without a doubt.

Peach, you are crazy and thank you for that <3

#PeachPavedTheWay #AnnyeongzForDaddy

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Catch and Release

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam

Summary: AU where Jason doesn't die in the explosion and he and Tim end up attending the same high school months later.

Chapters: 1/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon, Sebastian Ives, Jack Drake, Janet Drake

Relationships: TBA

Additional Tags: Jason Todd Lives, Jason Todd-centric, POV Jason Todd, POV First Person, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake is Not Robin, Jason Todd is Not Robin (Anymore), Bruce Wayne Needs a Hug, Alfred Pennyworth is the Best, Alfred Pennyworth Knows, Stalker Tim Drake, Jason Todd Has Chronic Pain, Jason Todd Has PTSD, Angst with a Happy Ending, Unlikely Friends, Injury Recovery, Emotional Baggage, Rage, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Communicating

Chapter One: Counting Backward

"Good," Bruce replied.

Despite Alfred begging me to use the stairlift, I came down the stairs on foot. It was a dumb idea, but I was tired of feeling broken. My leg still hadn't healed. Mostly everything else had. I wondered if Bruce would urge me to stay home longer and focus on my recovery. I know he meant well, but I was tired of wasting away in the manor. I felt like I was a living memorial of the Jason he lost in the explosion. I haunted the place every moment I was there. Even my laugh was a painful reminder of what was.

A wave of pain shot up my spine and into my lungs, and I missed a step. I wasn't as quick on my feet as I used to be, but Alfred managed to catch me before I could falter. That bothered me. I didn't want anyone helping me, but my body was so broken it couldn't be avoided. I wanted to return to how I was, but honestly, I wasn't even halfway there. I mumbled a word of gratitude to Alfred, and he escorted me down the few remaining steps against my will.

My crutches leaned against the baluster. I remember when it felt like a victory. It meant I could walk. After a few months on them, it felt more like a loss. I couldn't rush recovery, so I was stuck. I bitterly pushed forward and went to the kitchen to make myself breakfast. Bruce sat at the counter, sipping his coffee. Despite his silence, I knew what his presence meant. "I'm going to school today," I announced. Bruce nodded. "I don't want you checking in on me today."

"Jason, I'm not trying to baby you... I'm just worried that your return to public school is premature," Bruce replied. He set his coffee aside and looked at me, studying me with his eyes. "Healing takes time."

"I can only heal at home for so long," I muttered as I opened the fridge. Bruce didn't help me, as a rule. I didn't want him to. I poured myself a glass of milk, and Alfred started making breakfast. I knew it was the only way Alfred would let me go, so I ate. I was stubborn but not half as stubborn as Alfred. "Thanks for breakfast, Alfred."

He nodded and set my backpack and lunch on an empty chair. Bruce seemed displeased with all of it. Ever since I came home from the hospital, he'd examined my every move, documenting my every nightmare, every misstep. It felt like he was judging me, but I knew better. Bruce was frightened for me. "At least let me take you to school... It'll help me breathe easier if I can see you off," Bruce requested. I nodded.

I didn't feel like arguing with him about small things like drop off and pick up. I stood up and put on my backpack before grabbing my crutches. Bruce looked up, and before he could ask me, I nodded. "I was in an accident. I don't wanna talk about it... The fewer details I use, the better," I whispered.

I followed him to the garage and sat in the front seat. The drive was unbearably long and silent. Neither of us had anything to say that the other wanted to hear. I watched as kids poured into the gates, and I hesitated. "Second thoughts?" Bruce asked.

"No," I stubbornly answered as I got out of the car. I took a breath and braced for an imaginary threat. I hopped up the steps and went through the double doors. I walked towards the metal detector, and the security guard shook his head. I thought it was irresponsible for him to let me through, but that wasn't my business anymore. I went to the front office and knocked on the attendance door. The office attendant smiled and told me she'd help me in a moment. I sat down and waited for her to ask for me.

"You can come up now," she welcomed me. I told her my name, and she gave me my class schedule. "If you'd like-." I smiled and shook my head.

"I was enrolled here last year... I'll manage, but thank you," I interrupted as politely as possible.

My first class was halfway across the building, so I went there right after I left the office. The door was locked, so I stood there, waiting for the teacher to show up. That's when I noticed him. A wild-eyed kid with no backpack. He only had a notepad and pen. If I didn't know better, I would've mistaken him for an undercover cop. I caught him staring at me and immediately took offense, but I wasn't dumb enough to pick a fight on my first day. Besides, he looked out the window as soon as he noticed I was staring back. I could tell he was sheltered by the way he looked at people. Most people who grew up in the rougher parts of Gotham would've known better. Had he met me last year, he might've gotten a friendlier reaction from me. I might've even overlooked him, but something about him didn't feel right.

The bell rang, and the teacher came to unlock the classroom. "Nice to see you again, Jason," she greeted. I tried to grasp for a name, but I couldn't remember her. I couldn't remember a lot of things after the accident.

"It's nice to see you too," I smiled. It was better to fake it and glance at my class schedule later than to explain why I suddenly couldn't remember the name of a teacher who obviously noticed my absence. I was bitter, but I wouldn't be rude to innocent people.

She logged into the computer and pulled up the seating chart. I sat by the door where I was placed and watched as the creepy kid strolled in. He sat by the window, and I looked for his name on the roster. Tim Drake. I wrote it down in my notebook and caught him staring at me again. A few other kids came in. One of which knocked my crutches over without picking them up. I picked them up and sighed. I'd have to deal with that for another month, at least.

Then there'd be more physical therapy and exams... And more of Bruce's pained glances when I missed a step or took a sharp breath. I knew he felt guilty for not being there. I did my fair share of blaming him in the earlier days of my recovery. I wasn't proud of what I said but never apologized, especially after he took Robin from me. It was the only way I could cope. Bitterness protected me from the harsh realities of the accident. I felt like I was experiencing the five stages of grief backward like I was mourning the death I should've had.

The second bell rang, and the rest of the class rushed in, some narrowly avoiding the third and final late bell. Eventually, wandering eyes started to recognize my face beneath the scarring. That wasn't the thing that bothered me, though. It was the whispering that followed the stares. I could make out some of it, but my hearing wasn't as good as before.

"I thought he died."

"I heard he got shot in the face."

"No, Professor Pyg turned him into one of those Frankenstein things, and he spent the summer in Arkham."

I swallowed it because I had to, but I could hardly conceal my growing rage. "Jason," our teacher whispered. I looked up at her. "Are you alright?"

I smiled and nodded even though every lethal and violent scenario imaginable flashed through my mind. I only had a few more hours of self-inflicted mental and emotional torture, and then I could drive home in agonizing silence. It would've gone great had he not pushed me.

[ikemenomegas]

in light of gojo's unsealing, ive thought about diff cute scenarios

gojo being the type of person to get his mate's phone and snap hundreds of pictures of his face

this would probably never happen given gojo's privacy when it comes to his marriage but in a different world i can see this happening Gojo naming his alpha as "mochi seller' on his phone and Itadori seeing the message pop out from the lock screen and accidentally somewhat outing gojo's rs when he asks him in front of the other students why the mochi seller sent an ily message

the tender moments where gojo lets his infinity down or lets his alpha inside his infinity and he gets to relish in the warmth of their skin

the sappy things gojo's alpha has to sometimes do whenever gojo gets too rowdy and they need to placate him for whatever reason (re: alpha reading a map together with nanami scenario)

gojo sending his alpha a picture of two rocks by the sidewalk with the caption: 'us'

gojo asking his alpha if they would still love him if he was a worm and the alpha saying: "no<33"

Awww! These were really cute anon! Very happy ending which I feel like we're going to need a lot of in the coming weeks...

(Also I ran with it but why is their name "mochi seller" haha)

[Ao3 link for those who prefer chapters]

⬖ Photomaton

"Device storage insufficient, please move or delete files to make room?" you read, nonplussed.

Nobara sighed. "Sensei, I showed you how to do that weeks ago."

"I did do it." You frowned, opening up your files. Why were there so many pictures...

Nobara rolled her eyes at you and beat a hasty retreat when your hand went to your mouth as your face went warm.

There were rows and rows of photos, none of which you had taken.

Most of them were selfies, but some of them were obviously the result of Satoru propping the phone up and attempting to pose for the camera.

He must have been swiping your phone every time you left it sitting out or went to sleep. He didn't rest much, but there were so many, more probably than you'd been able to take in the last five years.

There wasn't much thought for such things when you only saw one another a handful of days every month. The focus had gone to managing the present, not on taking pictures. You'd only really thought to regret it after that terrible Halloween, when you worried you'd never see him again.

Some of the photos framed Satoru inside one of your homes. Others were almost ugly shots, taken way too close, or blurred with motion artifact. There were pictures of him haloed in the night glow of streetlights or washed out in the halogen light of a konbini. There were those made grainy with low light and some that took your breath away because he was nice looking.

Furtively, you looked up but were alone and you silently thanked your student's exasperated impatience. A few of the photos showed just too much skin to be exactly proper.

You thumbed down. The pictures were a story all their own revealing some of what Satoru did when alone and you savored the honesty. You had to keep apart from one another for so long.

The last thing in the camera roll was a video.

It opened with the shuffling sounds and the wobbling display of someone walking. Satoru wound around furniture in the darkened interior of your apartment.

"I'm home. You're asleep right now," he said lowly, "probably won't be later. I don't know how most people can sleep so much." He spoke half to himself, the deep night laying over his words like velvet.

There was the sound of the door to the little balcony opening and then the faint tinkle of the glass bells hanging from the eaves.

"Must be nice," he mused, "you get to miss a lot."

The image on the screen steadied as he rested your phone on the rail. The familiar view of the city resolved as faint golden starbursts of light. The rustling of Satoru's clothing faded until all you could hear was the faint rush of night wind and his breathing.

The video went on for over a quarter of an hour. You scrolled your fingers across the screen. He didn't move, the picture stayed the same. You leaned against a wall and listened to the last few moments, your heartbeat low and slow, your breath in sync with his from some time both here and long ago.

Satoru spoke, amused over the night-sounds:

"Don't delete this. I'll know."

⬖ Daifuku

"Good job," Gojo congratulated his dust-stained students as the veil fell.

Maki and Toge glared while Yuuji gave him a tired thumbs up from where he was laying on the ground.

"Dinner is on me tonight." Gojo ignored their halfhearted grumbling. "Decide where you want to go."

He anticipated a larger than normal ding to his wallet, but they'd earned it (and it wasn't as though he couldn't afford it). Beating this curse was no minor feat and it had been a particularly crafty one, which was why Gojo had gone with them just in case.

The students made noises of acknowledgement with varying levels of anticipation, but to no one's surprise, Yuuji was the first to roll over and dig around for his phone.

He tapped the screen and groaned.

"Sensei, mine's dead. Can I use yours?"

Gojo unlocked it and passed it over without a thought. He wasn't particularly hungry, the kids could figure this out without his interference for once.

"Um, Gojo-sensei?"

"Hm?"

"Why is a "mochi seller" reminding you to stop at the pharmacy and sending you heart emojis?"

With uncanny synchrony, Maki and Toge's heads turned to look at their teacher.

The phone in Yuuji's hand buzzed faintly.

"I love you?" he read, sounding alarmed.

Toge's eyes went a bit wide but a grin that curled a bit too much at the edges and showed teeth took over Maki's face.

"Text back," she said, scrambling to her feet.

With all her quickness, she swooped in and snatched the phone when Yuuji hesitated.

The phone buzzed once more.

"I'll be home by 8:30, probably," she read.

Gojo took advantage of Maki's triumphant look to slip the device from her grip.

"I knew it!" she pointed at him. "I knew you were hiding something."

"Grown ups hide lots of things," he replied blithely. He was confident none of the students could tell that moment had been more like someone walking over his grave.

It was not as though he intended to hide his relationship with you. Hide implied shame, concealment on the other hand had been security and was harder to let go of. There would come a moment when the kids prised the truth from him. He was not about to have that moment with his kids now, or hopefully ever, because they accidentally read his texts out loud.

Maki reached for his phone and he easily tipped out of her way, walking off and heading towards a neighborhood he knew (and the students did not) had a lot of very good restaurants.

He was silently very thankful when the implied threat of no food at all distracted the students. Or at least had Yuuji barreling past Maki and kindly dropping the matter in favor of promising to "only look at the map this time, was there a good katsudon place nearby?"

⬖ Goose Down

Satoru spotted you hunched over a rail with your umbrella open overhead, held in the crook of your elbow.

He could tell from the set of your shoulders that the summer sun was getting to you, despite the cursed tool taking a majority of the pressure off.

Your energy was butter yellow and burnt red and lithium pink, mixing slowly around your body as you slowly cycled power into the umbrella and the short sword held loosely in your hands.

Satoru ducked around a corner and took a peak at your face. Your eyes were closed.

Smirking quietly to himself, he crept around, Infinity a barrier between himself and the world. For just a little longer...

You jumped when he dropped it, nearly dropping your sword and automatically holding the umbrella high enough for him to fit under it.

"Hah-"

"Speechless?"

You gaped at him, mouth hanging open.

He nodded as if you'd just confirmed it. "This is what they don't tell you about marriage. Making someone's heart race is important even after the wedding. We'll probably be together forever at this rate."

You mouth closed and then went a little wobbly.

"It's hot," you finally said, miserably. "And it's too sunny."

He couldn't hold back his laughter as he stepped closer and folded himself around you. Your scent tingled pleasantly in his nose and your skin was warm from both heat and light, like a sun-warmed blanket.

"Oh," you said faintly, "you're cool," and you all but melted against him.

"You could just go inside," Satoru said. "I sent the students off on an adventure. We wouldn't be bothered."

"That sounds nice," you murmured, but didn't make any move away from him.

He didn't either. He didn't feel much like letting go yet.

⬖ Orange Kazoo

Sometimes, you reminded yourself through your already strained patience, Satoru just needed to be left alone to make noise.

For a moment, you considered begging him for just a little peace, but you knew he was doing this for your benefit. Shibata Kin was a difficult pill to swallow.

"I never expected anyone to send Six Eyes to join us."

It was the weakest and most recent of Shibata's barbs. The oily way he said it and the implication that anyone would dare to subordinate Satoru to this boot licker rankled.

Satoru crinkled the package extra loud on a bit of melon bread and smiled. "I was in the neighborhood."

He took a bite, chewed and swallowed while you flipped through the mission report on a clipboard.

You sighed, exhaling your worry, and handed it back. "Let's go then. It looks like all the victims disappeared from the same place so we should start there."

That place was a building that straddled a moderately busy subway station and stacked part of a shopping mall, a cluster of private clinics, and a cram school all on top of each other.

Satoru trailed behind through the store, stopping at kiosks and chatting with saleswomen, picking up and putting down objects.

You could feel Shibata's irritation transform into something far less internal as he turned to you.

"He's like a child," he remarked coolly. "Sure we shouldn't just ditch him? The curse doesn't sound that hard to deal with since I've got you."

When you ignored him, he kept talking.

"He shouldn't even be here," the man drawled.

You shrugged. "Well he is."

Shibata sourly appeared to swallow whatever else he wanted to say. You turned around to see where Satoru had gone to. The thought of being stuck with the bitter other sorcerer was worse than waiting for them to pick their bickering back up.

He waved a stuffed cat in sunglasses at you and nodded eager agreement when you pointed out a cute little sparrow holding an umbrella on a shelf behind him. Sometimes, it was best to just humor Satoru and play along.

When you turned back, Shibata Kin was gone.

Since you were all concealing your residuals from the curse you expected was in the building, you had no idea where he went.

You looked over your shoulder. Satoru was gone too.

Well.

You tapped your fingers over your pocket and then decided to let them go. Satoru always seemed to know where to find you and Shibata had called you here as backup. You should probably go kill what you were looking for before it nibbled on him.

Many fewer curses than you expected lingered in the shopping mall. They were bizarre places with as many secret passageways as an ancient castle. Away from the popular shops and crowds, it quickly grew quiet and the bright gleam of displays gave way to more neglected halls.

On your way, you passed a small bank of capsule machines. You crouched down, and smiled faintly to yourself. Abandoned in the furthest reach of the shopping mall, almost near to where a service entrance lead to another stretch of winding halls and tunnels, the items here were both ancient (by city standards) and ridiculous.

Packages of candy that still held their shine but were likely far past their expiration date sat beside tiny figurines of a frog-shaped toddler in a little red hat. You grimaced back at those and moved on.

Near the end of the row was a machine that sold tiny musical instruments, plastic and paper and probably terrible sounding, but it wasn't expired food or frog children. You stuck a few coins into the slot and turned the dial.

An acid green ball spat out from the slot.

You picked at the latches on its side while you found your way further and further into the little used corridors.

There was a flash of something, like a burst of camera illumination from behind a door on your right.

You slipped through it, pulling your blade free from its sheath at the small of your back, and emerged into a tunnel that looked to be connecting to the nearby subway station. Not far ahead, the darkened path split into two.

You flipped the sword around so its blunt edge rested against your forearm and sprinted, dashing across the intersection.

A blur of motion came at you. As it grazed by, you snatched at that movement and sprang into the air, high enough to crouch on the ceiling of the tunnel.

The curse was a near perfect twin of the one a little ways down the way the attack had come, which should have maybe been your first hint. The one that had come at you was grinning, its face a rictus mockery of a theater mask.

They both sat, crouched like toads. You feinted toward the one that had come towards you, and at the last minute flew down to the other, its mouth bent in a painted looking frown.

It backed up in surprise, but not far enough and your blade nicked through the face, which was hard like dense wood. The air around your other hand shimmered in heat, as you struck for the thing's cavernous eyes.

It emitted a furious, scolding gurgle that almost reminded you of some of the window teachers from high school, and swallowed the burst of heat before it could crackled around it into full flame.

You hardly had time to reinforce your body with cursed energy before you were blasted from two directions, letting the momentum carry you and trying to wrap the more opposing forces and the roaring sound of displaced air into your own cursed energy. But something about it resisted you, and you were unable to absorb as much of the attack as you usually would.

A racking shiver radiated through your body right before you were caught by a broad hand on your back.

"Hi," Satoru said sweetly.

"Hi," you panted, automatic, eyes still fixed on the curse.

"What's going on?"

You looked up at him with incredulity.

Hoisted in his other arm was the limp body of your other companion.

Satoru's head cocked to the side, curious as he looked at the curse.

"I don't know yet. I hit it and then--" the mask of the frowning curse was ash blasted and the notch from your first strike still there, but it was not as damaged as expected.

You regained your footing and stood upright.

"If I give it another go I think I can figure it out."

He tilted his head.

You sized up the two curses waiting outside the reach of Satoru's infinity.

"Oh." You reached into your pocket and handed him the green orb.

"What's this?"

"Dunno," you said with a faint smile. "I got it for you."

"Aww, you shouldn't have."

Maybe not. Satoru thinks gachapon are funny, you should show him the line of machines if you get out of here the same way you come in, then he can choose something himself. You still have a few coins on you.

You flew at the grinning curse, both hands on the hilt of your blade, cursed energy flashing into a point a good six inches out from where the metal itself ended.

You held, crystalizing your own movement for a moment and stared deep into the thing's empty eyes.

It twitched, and then its arm moved and you slashed downward, intending to cleave the limb away.

The blade hit, you knew it did. You were able to dodge the attack you anticipated from the smiling curse. The frowning curse in front of you struck back, almost at the same time.

You pulled on some of the reserved momentum you'd held back in your initial strike and barely twisted out of the way.

You lifted the gleeful cackles of the twinned curses from the air and tried to twist them into a crackling rope of flame to surround the grinning one again. As you had expected, the damage did not seem to completely take and you were forced to duck when a bolt of heat tried to sear your back, culminating in another blast that shook the tunnel and thew you once more.

"That's enough."

Satoru appeared at your side again, pulling you back behind the shield of his power when the curse's retaliation threatened to cut through you.

"This one's a bad match for your technique," he murmured thoughtfully.

"Is it reflecting through the faces?" you asked, catching your breath.

He hummed.

Absently, you realized you could scent the sharp, fresh smell of citrus on his breath - the smell of the biting orange flavored candy you'd shared with him on the train ride here.

"If it reflects yours too--" you trailed off. What you did was firmly in the realm of the "real" and Satoru's abilities were not. If this curse were to reflect back blue, or red, or heaven forbid purple... well you'd never seen or asked up until if Satoru could stop his own techniques. It seemed a tactical oversight in this moment.

Satoru stepped forward.

"Stabilize him," he instructed flatly. He'd tossed Shibata Kin's still body where he had been standing barely a minute before.

The curses had moved closer and pressed together, beginning to meld into one another before your eyes. The damage you had already done was fading further.

You knelt at Shibata's side, shaking back your sleeves. "You know this is going to poison him."

You carefully set two fingers underneath his right collarbone, and three a few ribs below his heart on the left and focused in on the flickers of electricity that powered a human body.

"Oh well." Satoru's grin was a baring of teeth. "He'll get over it better than being dead."

You could sense the arrhythmic flutter of Kin's heart, like the popping scatter of an overloaded lamp, like a fractured version of that flash you had sensed earlier.

"You know he was trying to set you up right?" Satoru asked as he batted away an experimental chunk of rubble the curse tossed his way with a flick of his wrist. The stone was aimed right for the face of the smiling curse and even as it hit, it seemed to bounce back, hitting Satoru's shield and falling to the ground.

You sparked a bit of your energy to pure electricity, sending it jumping from one side of Shibata Kin's chest to the other.

"It crossed my mind," you admitted, murmuring as you concentrated. "But I didn't pursue the thought."

Satoru snorted. Yes, alright it was more likely you'd decided thinking about it too hard was going to distract you from the mission but you were here anyway.

You counted the pulse of electricity between your fingers to your own heartbeat until Kin's matched, or at least matched better than before.

When you pulled your hands away, Satoru cracked his knuckles. It looked like he was going to go in for physical attacks.

"You might need to manage the tunnel," he said.

Yet another reason this was a bad match up, not just for you but for him. Satoru did best in wide open spaces where he had room to move and didn't need to worry too much about collateral damage. Dropping a ton of rock on your heads and collapsing the buildings above sounded like a thing that could happen.

You had barely pressed your hands to the ground when Satoru was off like a shot.

The curse wasn't that strong - a high end second grade or low level first grade at best given that it wasn't itself attacking to provoke a response - but it split into those two halves of itself and reformed again as needed to minimize the impacts Satoru rained upon it or flank him.

Limitless lay against his skin between each strike so he remained unmarked, but the cavernous space still rocked with noise and dust shook from the gaps between tiles. You steadied it best you could, absorbing the oscillations and dampening the noise.

It did not take long for the frowning curse to realize what you were doing and send the smiling one racing for you. With one hand on the ground and one on your sword, brimming with unspent potential, you raised the point.

"Nah ah." This seemed at once to you and the monster charging your way. Satoru appeared in its path and bodily kicked it away.

It did not take long after for the twinned curses to be dispatched. Although the only reason you weren't holding your breath is because you were gritting your teeth with the effort of holding the ground together and trying not to shake apart yourself.

Satoru in motion, in a fight, particularly when physical constraint demanded more of his ingenuity, was always a sight to behold.

He came back to you looking unfairly dewy post exertion, with his hair in a sort of windswept disarray, the fabric around his shoulders bunched up. He shrugged out the wrinkles and dusted off his hands.

Your briefly pressed a hand to his knee after you steadied the last tremor from the ground.

"Thank you."

Satoru tapped his forefinger twice against your temple as he walked by. "A feedback loop between you and that thing would have been very messy."

You stood up, swaying slightly.

Even though Satoru would have happily dragged Shibata to the exit point, you insisted on tugging him upright and at least moving him through the air to a place where the three of you could safely rest and call a car.

You had settled him against a wall and were calling Akari when he finally stirred.

"What happened?" Shibata asked weakly.

You turned around to look at him and from Shibata Kin's tepid expression and the sound of shifting cloth behind you, you assumed Satoru must have copied your movement.

Still, you gave him a faint smile and couched down beside him. He didn't have the strength to move away as you grabbed his wrist and felt his pulse. It was thready, but he'd be good enough to get the rest of the way above ground until an actual doctor could take a look at hime.

"We're all alive," you explained unnecessarily.

Shibata Kin's eyes moved from your face to over your shoulder. Sweat beaded his brow and upper lip.

From behind you came a buzzing hum, somewhat approximating a sad tuba. Waa wa wa waaaaaaaa, it trailed off.

Satoru had a the wide end of a grape purple kazoo held between his teeth, his sunglasses already exchanged for the bandages he'd had wrapped around his eyes.

Only just in time, you ducked your face into your shoulder and hid a smile.

⬖ Pet rock

You were walking down some quiet residential street, trying to match the map to the trail of the curse you were tracking. It was not very intelligent, but it had a pernicious little ability to draw other curses to it under the banner of a powerful command. You'd been swatting third and fourth grades out of the air as you chased it, trying to wear down its arsenal.

It wasn't a terribly good strategy however and the thing had been winding its way through side streets to buy time. If you could get in closer, you could chop away at more of its train of screaming fears, maybe get a head start on the main peril. Thus the attempt at navigating and figuring out its destination so you could cut it off.

At least Hirano-san would be happy. Maybe. Culling curses required balance; they were their own little ecosystem. As long as the things aren't eating anyone, a certain amount of apex predators in an area could be a deterrent, like the old practice of putting powerful relics out like roach traps. Have the inevitable critters fight and eat one another rather than their human hosts.

A notification popped up over the map, and then another after it.

You felt your shoulders drop as you recentered yourself with a faint smile.

At your hotel later that night, you recalled that Satoru had sent you a message. You fell onto the bed, wrapped up in the hotel bathrobe.

It was... nice, knowing that someone was waiting at home for you. Or if not at home, he was still busy as ever, out there in the world somewhere, thinking of you. Weirdly normal.

The message was a picture. You blinked up at it. Two little rocks and a flower growing out of a crack in the pavement to shade over them.

>> ?

Almost immediately you saw three dots appear.

<< it's us!

Is it? you thought skeptically, looking at the picture again.

The dots again.

<< You don't think so :(?

Your phone was buzzing in your hand before you had even a moment to answer.

It startled you enough to drop the phone.

Owww

"You took so long to answer. This is photography, are you discouraging my new passion? It could go on a greeting card."

The word salad was meaningless and silly, weightless.

"I dropped you on my nose," you said, eyes closed as you rubbed the spot the corner of your case had hit.

"Were you that surprised by it?"

A pause.

"It's cute." The notion of it and the fact that he'd sent it to you was cute.

"It is cute right?" His voice was bright but not overly loud through the phone, for which you were grateful, already settling into warmth. "The flower is poisonous too."

You curled up on your side and held the phone close. Maybe he'd get lucky and you would find something cute to send back to him.

⬖ Puddle jumping

a/n: You have no idea how much googling I had to do to figure out what the prompt meant. I am not on the tick-tock app lol or, I've found, a fan of this meme... the implication that girlfriends ask useless questions as a rule seems sort of meh. So I mostly kept to my original response to this which was "i don't know what that is and honestly probably neither does alpha"

Satoru was herding you down the sidewalk, occasionally listing one way or the other to get you out of the way of other pedestrians. Sometimes he did it for the simple fascination of how you swayed along by him like you were on a tether. Even while you eyes were all but fixed skyward, you stayed roughly the same distance from him.

It was the first day of sun after days of rain and also one of the first days he had off with you in so many apart. He had been too restless the day before, back off a bad mission that had more to do with the desperate unpredictability of people than the intrinsic darkness of curses. You had not resisted him when he drew you out, stifled by the low clouds and humidity and longing for openness. Even with Infinity blocking the rain, it had felt like being closed in again.

Relieved of their burden, the clouds had gone from iron grey to diaphanous white and pealed up and away in swaths like billowing curtains. This is what you were watching - their retreat from the earth. They had come so low they wrapped around skyscrapers and telephone poles on their back to their usual place.

Satoru watched the drowned earth. You had cut through a tree lined walk. The rich soil was churned and muddy and the long bodies of worms that had been washed out or crawled up were strewn about.

Your and Satoru's steps made no mark as he stretched Infinity over and around the two of you. Neither of you tread upon those blind, waterlogged creatures.

Satoru stepped behind you to allow a cluster of high schoolers to pass and hid a faint wrinkle of his nose as they squealed and ran by, realizing they were stepping on some of the remains.

Your umbrella was folded and carried at your side, and you tilted your head back at him, looking a little sun-drunk. He smiled at you. He could see the reflection of the sky in your gaze.

He adopted a pout, snickering internally as you immediately seemed to regain some awareness and a wary anticipation entered your expression.

"Would you still like me if I was a worm?" he asked.

You blinked at him. "Is this one of those things you learned from the kids?"

He slouched a bit, crowding into your space. "Would you still love me if I was a worm," he wheedled.

"Are you turning into a worm?" you asked, slightly panicked, hand going to his arm as though to check if he was going as wet and floppy as the poor things on the ground.

"I'm going to turn into one if you don't answer my question."

The last of the distracted fog lifted from your eyes as you shook yourself. You took his hand and pulled him close to let another couple pass you on the walk. They inclined their head in thanks.

There was no rush to get where you were going and you tugged him along a smaller path that cut under a row of thick-branched trees so you could walk side by side unimpeded.

"I still liked you when you were a semi-sentient six sided die," you pointed out, smiling slightly.

"It's not the same," he whined a bit, drawing out the words in a sing-song fashion.

"Isn't it? I'm not sure a die eight kilometers under the ocean is more useful than a worm."

"Hmph."

"Although I really hope the worm thing is hypothetical."

"Why?"

"Because with our luck that would mean I'm a worm too."

Satoru huffed a faint sound of amusement. "Nooo. You'd still be some kind of bird." He patted your back. "Don't worry I'll make sure to crawl out late so you can still be in time to eat me all up."

"... Are you propositioning me or telling me to hurry up?"

"Walk faster or I'll step on the backs of your shoes."

You did. The two of you walked faster and faster until you were all but chasing one another out of the park, laughing lightly as you dodged the spots of wet on the ground.

[dottieisdotting]

Patch,pregnancy and proposals - S.J.Y

requested?: no

pairing(s):gangsta!Jake x AFAB!Pregnant! reader - but gender isn't specified 

Genre: fluff, angst (if you squint)

warning(s): a few injuries, blood mentions, pregnancy

Summary:Jaeyun comes home all injured and you scold him but still patch him up,like always

word count: 522

A/N: another one from my list of my one writings, again I am still taking requests as always. I have no idea where this was going. I believe ive done Jake dirty in this. Make sure you are eating and drinking well, have a good night/day/ morning and I hope you enjoy! Mwah!.

Another day, another mission. You sat at home in Jaeyun’s manor off the outskirts of Seoul picking at the skin around your fingers waiting very anxiously for your boyfriend to waltz through the arched entrance. ”C’mon,c’mon”  you say impatiently over and over until you see bright headlights shining through the windows. 

You were relieved but also scared to see what state he’d come back to you this time. You bite your lip as the door opens and in walks Jake, bloodied and bruised with his bodyguards behind him. He sees you and his smile widens and he waltzes over to you, ushering his bodyguards away

”hi baby” He says as he sits down on the couch. You shake your head before walking off to find a first aid kit. You run into a housekeeper and she leads you to one, you thank her and make your way back to your boyfriend.

You make him sit as you tend to his wounds, not being as careful as you should. He could tell you were pissed. ”baby, why are you mad at me?”  you sigh and don't say anything whilst you clean under his eye and put cream on it.

”I'm upset because you come home every week with new injuries, Jaeyun. I'm worried about you, I'm worried that you'll get yourself killed before you get a chance to meet your daughter” his eyes soften and he reaches over to hold your growing bump

”I'm so sorry baby, I'm so,so sorry” He kneels before you, resting his forehead on the bump before kissing it. ”I promise I'll get better for our baby girl, I swear to you, my love.” you feel your heartbeat a little faster when he kneels and promises that he’d get better

You believe him and run your hands through his hair. ”I promise” he whispers and stands up. You put a had on his bruised cheek and rub it gently. He leans down to connect your lips, hands on either side of your bump, rubbing it. 

Jake was truly in love with you and couldn't wait to be a father, especially to a little girl. He’d sworn to you that he would stop getting hurt and step down from his position as head of the ‘Sim mafia clan’ and give the title to his older brother, Heeseung. 

Your lips meet in a sweet kiss,savouring it like it was the last. Jaeyun had enough of seeing you worried every other night. He loved you and wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. He pulls away and clears his throat.

Jaeyun gets down on one knee and presents you with his great grandmother's ring, a family heirloom. ”---, i love you with all my heart and i promise to keep loving you until my last breath. I want us to be happy and one. Will you do me the honours of becoming my wife, will you marry me?” 

You look at him with teary eyes, his impromptu proposal and your messy hormones make you say yes instantly. He slips the ring onto your finger and kisses it

A/N: I have no idea what this is and I kinda hate it . I was shattered (tired) when writing this. Idk what to do with it. It will stay as a one shot and I promise to write better for Jake in the future. MY REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN!

[queenie-says-free-palestine]

Hi queenie! I hope I don't sound ignorant, but every single article on Palestine and Israel seems heavily biased and stuff, so I just wanted to ask you if you had a fully-fledged and explained post or something about the situation? Or, if you don't could you explain it to me?

I really want to know what's happening between the two places.

Sorry if I sound rude or ignorant

sorry this took a while to answer ive been kinda busy lol

dw idm !! im happy to explain it to you, but keep in mind that im only human n there might be missing info. all the information i use is verifiable—i didnt go off of rumors or anything like that

i explained the history briefly in a post i made on my main blog where i was tryna detail the israel-palestine situation:

zionist movements began in maybe mid 19th century, jews worldwide were being persecuted and they wanted a land to themselves. they had their eyes set on palestine, even tho the palestinian bedouins there have been living in palestine for at least 1500 years

wwii left millions of jews stranded, so in 1947, the united nations suggested dividing palestine into a jewish and arab state. the jews accepted, but the arabs rejected it. this rejection was ultimately ignored, and israel declared itself a state in 1947, leading to palestinian arabs being displaced and a war starting between israel and arab nations. this was known as nakba—literally the arabic word for disaster, it mainly refers to palestinians being displaced after israel declared independence

the six-day war of 1967 was a conflict ultimately won by israel—they took control of the west bank, the gaza strip, and east jerusalem. conflicts got worse from here, and violence against civilians grew. its been snowballing since then

now, what i didnt mention here was that jews do have a history in the land, but the reason i didnt mention that was because the vast majority of that history dates back to 2000 years ago, when they were exiled by the romans, n they still claim ties to the land due to this history and also the religious significance it has in judaism, as it has been mentioned in the torah several times. not to mention that jerusalem is the location of the west wall, which holds extreme significance in judaism

they have almost always lived in palestine as a minority. in fact, whent the un plan was made, the jews were given 55% of the land despite only being an estimated 30% of the population

what i also didnt mention is the extremely disproportionate number of casualties. the usa and uk have both been vocal in aiding israel, and esp the usa helps fund its military n help it build its military, whereas palestine has virtually no method of defense. according to the un, roughly 6400 palestinians and 300 israelis have been killed since 2008, not including recent fatalities, and not including the 60 years from the nakba until 2008

im sure youve seen videos or seen stories on the news of dead palestinian children, and these deaths are sometimes celebrated by israel because they were fighting back against the idf, however this form of "fighting back" is usually firing rocks at tanks using slingshots, and then proceeding to get shot

now, whats going on now is a result of the "snowballing" i mentioned. the problem was meant to be solved by the oslo accords, which was meant to be an agreement to help issues on both sides (for palestine it was meant to help economic development in palestinian society, as well as stop the construction and expansion of israeli settlements in the west bank n gaza strip. for israel it was meant to make a promise of peace, ending hostility esp from extremist palestinian movements such as hamas). however, the promises made in these accords were never met

now, hamas is something youve heard abt often, im sure. its an extremist militant group who works largely in gaza (they have absolutely no soldiers in the west bank, although they do have some support there) whose main objective is to take back palestine and give it to the palestinians. however, their methods of doing so are extremely unorthodox, as they tend to take courses of action such as smuggling rockets via a series of tunnels, suicide bombings, and also they largely target civilian populations

its also notable that they were voted for by the gazan population in 2006, where half of the population were children, so only a maximum of 50% of the gazan population voted for them. since this voting was also in 2006 (17 years ago) and the gazan population is still 50% minors, this means that only a maximum of 25% of the gazan population today were part of those who voted for hamas

what happened a couple weeks ago at the start of the war was that hamas had been planning for abt a year an attack on israel in retaliation for the thousands upon thousands of palestinians who have been killed, and the thing is that no one suspected it. thats one of the reasons why it shook the world

in the first couple days, israeli casualties outnumbered palestinian casualties, reaching abt 600 while palestine sat at just under 200. there was a music festival which hamas attacked, killing 260 civilians, injuring even more, and taking an unknown number of hostages, some of whom were not israeli and in fact just people visiting from other countries on israeli visas

israel retaliated heavily, with the israeli defense minister referring to palestinians as 'human animals', and they warned 1.1 million gazans to leave northern gaza (despite the fact that gaza is a 41km*12km piece of land thats been closed off for the past fifteen years) because they were going to level it. they also bombed a hospital, which is against international law and is a war crime, admitted it in a string of tweets, and then deleted them

they also damaged gaza's oldest church, the third oldest in the world which is estimated to be 1600 years old, where 400-500 palestinians were hiding. theres around 27 fatalities confirmed and an unknown number of people still trapped under the rubble

additionally theres a load of claims of things hamas has done (beheading babies n raping women being the most popular allegations) but basically none of these have based sources, and a lot of things israel accuses hamas of include crimes that members of the idf (israel defense force) has committed against palestinians in previous decades

so please fact check everything you hear, and be wary of biased sources

[quodekash]

ITS ABAAB EP 7 TIME and i am sorry 

warning: lots of happiness, too much happiness. take a shot of water every time i say any variation of ‘HAPPY’. stay hydrated, folks. 

wait what happened to cher? did i miss something? 

i dont remember how the last episode ended so its very possible that i missed something 

awh 🥺

thE BED IS STILL ON AN ANGLE WHY IS THE BED ON AN ANGLE SOMEONE FIX THIS IM BEGGING YOU, ITS GOTTA BE A SAFETY HAZARD 

pls they look so comfy 

it looks like theyve been married for a thousand lifetimes 

so comfyyyyy

rIGHT, THEIR GROUP HAD A FIGHT, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED TO CHER, I REMEMBER NOW 

YEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEAH BEACH EPISODE = PURE HAPPINESS AND DOPAMINE 

THREEZO AT THE BEACH 

WE’RE GONNA GET THREEZO AT THE BEACH 

IM LITERALLY ABOUT TO CRY IN ANTICIPATION OF BEACH

i know i already said it like four times BUT THIS LOOKS SO FREAKING COMFY WHAT THE HELL 

THREEZO THREEZO THREEZO

HELLO MY LOVELIES HOW ARE YOU TODAY 

theyre literally in the middle of the frame omg 

little babby 

i love him 

he’s tall but he’s smol 

his HAIR 

LOOK AT IT 

THE HAIR IS SO FLUFFY 

i think my favourite things about this series are jack’s hair and threezo

and theyre both tied for first place 

three’s apology to jack is so freaking sweet omg 

i love him too much 

he struggles with words and communicating but he wants everyone to be happy and he doesnt want conflict and he feels responsible for everything and he is perfection and also he’s either adhd or asd or both, i dont make the rules 

HAPPY

omg his awkward laugh is so cute why was that so cute 

his sweet little ‘hah hah’ 

HIS FACE MAKES ME HAPPY 

HAPPYYYYY 

(damn i did gun/force dirty on that screenshot) 

his freaking face

its making me happy 

this is a happiness overload 

im not used to this much joy in my system 

what do i do with it 

HAPPYYYYYYYYY

dads. 

everyone can see you btw. just letting you know. you’re just standing there, holding hands 

i mean that’s great, good job, not being scared is funky (but its also funky to be scared), it’s just that. you know. if your friends ask questions later and you dont want them to suspect anything then like. it’s your fault. 

altho maybe they dont care if their friends find out, idk at this point 

ignore me

HAPPY

everyone ganging up to push gun in the water. that’s what friendship truly is 

HAPPY

they teleported 

three was next to zo, jack was between cher and zo. they switched. 

hOW?

HAPPYYYYY

THE HAIR

LOOK AT THE HAIR 

they always figure out a way to squeeze it in 

OMG

SOBBING

IM SOBBING

THATS SO CUTE 

HELP

DAMN RIGHT 

his hair is a mess lmao

bRO

HE SAID IT

HE SAID THE THING 

ZOGUN FRIENDSHIP BONDING SCENE OMG HAPPINESS 

he’s known from the very freaking beginning 

before cher even knew 

the gaydar is strong bro 

HIS FREAKING FACE 

HAPPY

HE HAPPY 

PFFFFFFT

i love their friendship so much omg 

(that screenshot looks like hes about to punch him lmao) 

“zo, what is love?” i can feel it, im about to punch a wall or smth bc something threezo is coming 

“what is love for you?” “three.” yUP I KNEW IT OMG IM GONNA FREAKING CRY 

HAIR

FLUFFY FLUFFY FLUFFY ITS SO FLUFFY 

i think i love this man (and his hair) a little too much but its fine 

GJK3BERKJGBVRKEBGR

GUN WHAT THE HELL 

AGAIN, THEY LOOK SO FREAKING COMFY 

well shoot. thoop is mad at cher for being involved with gun. 

good news is: i dont think its homophobia 

it’s just that he doesnt want cher to move on from tian (thoop himself cant move on from tian) and he doesnt want cher to find a relationship because that means, in thoop’s eyes, he’s letting tian go, and thoop cant really deal with that because he’s ✨mentally ill✨

get some sleep my man 

I LOVE HOW MUCH HE LOVES HIS FRIENDS 

HES SO FREAKING CARING 

HE WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIS FRIENDS 

HED PROBABLY NEVER ADMIT IT BUT HE’S A REAL FREAKING SOFTY ON THE INSIDE 

1. ive never seen more serious finger guns 

2. you’re not bi, sir, why are you doing finger guns 

3. finger GUNs 

that is all 

FINAL THOUGHTS: 

if they dont give us a threezo kiss by the end of this show i will scream. 

[nightcxty]

✨NC's unhinged NYE post✨

this year was quite literally a joke. a circus, if you will.

honestly i kind of had this mindset where i was like. “im sure nothing more dramatic will happen this year!” because i finally got out of the system and sheltered housing (MESS) after 10 years and surely that was the end of 2023’s character development?????? god shook the spice shaker a little too much i fear. queue the rickroll—received a terrifying diagnose, was practically living in the ER, and 2 weeks later i had to go into surgery. post surgery and i received 2 more diagnoses that im still trying to wrap my head around and navigate but Oh Boy Why.

then i came back to this place. the cbp community. i left pretty abruptly for Reasons TM and told myself i wouldn’t return to a place that made me so unhappy. but luckily i evolved during my absence; i meditate (read: lobotomize myself) every day and gained perspective to what matters most. made the active decision to not let negativity affect my presence online and to just let things go, also by setting strict boundaries for myself.

^ first shot of jogny and val after reinstalling the game

art is my life, and i love contributing to a place where thats celebrated. it makes me so happy to come on here and see the things that people make. its literally one of the main things keeping me sane from OP recovery. im always amazed to see the amount of time and dedication that goes into character creation and world/story building and i just think that Humans Are Neat. look at us, manipulating worlds and stories through the power of brainrot! seeing vpers take beautiful shots and shape reality as they see fit, and writers using the power of language and words to set a stage and tell a story that makes you Feel. as much as i love to talk shit about the internet and heed the cautionary tales of modern digitalization, we are truly blessed (and maybe a little cursed at times) to be alive in this age where all of us get to connect with eachother no matter where we are, and celebrate eachothers art.

i also learned to always love my own creations first and foremost, without the constant need for an outside source of validation. to reach the stage in your own process of art making “HEY I LOVE THIS STORY I WROTE!!! DO YOU WANNA READ IT?????” "IM CLINICALLY INSANE!!! LOOK AT THIS SILLY AU IDEA I HAVE!!!" is so incredibly meaningful.

on to 2024 frenz!!!

[ goofy resolutions under the cut ]

resolutions;

- communism. (no seriously ive been putting off karl marx' writing for years and its time)

- finish long fics (honk honk vol. 10)

- get into blender

- do more art

- get motorcycle license

- finish music and get better at all aspects (compositioning, collaborating, recording, mixing, mastering)

- get my diploma

- get another tattoo

- travellllllllllllllll

[itsdappleagain]

Get toasty for The African Ice Caper!

Late again. Whoops. I swear I have good reasons. Anyway, super excited for this!!!

Lets-a go! Notes under the cut as always :)

First off, since I forgot the title last week, let's take a stab at it! I super love this title. It's a play on words in some ways; it refers to the literal "ice" meaning the diamonds they find in Botswana. But using "ice" also refers to the aftermath of Stockholm and how Carmen is dealing with the consequences! Cool shit!

Overall beginning thoughts- I LOVE this caper. It extends that whump/angst from Stockholm ever so much and ACTUALLY DEALS WITH CONSEQUENCES!!! I love when shows carry over serious events!!! Even with S1 finale -> S2 opener there wasn't much aftermath of Carmen's fight against Brunt (two weeks? really? she healed from that in two weeks?) but they DELIVERED here

This caper is just all aftermath, consequence, and effect. Carmen makes the decisions she does in Botswana to call in ACME because of their rescue in Sweden. They've proven themselves to be trustworthy (for now) and as Chief said a valuable ally. However, without Carmen calling in the cops, Roundy would never have been alerted and the mines would never have been blown up. It's all so delicate and interesting, and opens, for the briefest of moments, so many pathways for options- good and bad. I'll get to more stuff later but let me actually start commenting on the episode now

it's a terrifying moment but I can't help but laugh about Zack and Ivy's cover story being that Carmen is a shitty driver and they are right

while I also understand that it's the fastest way to convey information why did the nurses just let them seize the gurney and start sprinting back into the hospital with her without even knowing what happened

but okay. man. carmen's eyes just barely being able to open and see what's happening before she slips into unconsciousness again is so damn good

why does she have an oxygen mask on btw she was freezing not suffocating can anyone inform me on that

he's family 😭 happy day after father's day yall he's dadowsan official now

AUGH. her face kills me every time she just looks so vulnerable. but like she's trying to tell him that she's okay

i love found family but the nurse must have been confused when this 20 year old argentinian lady's family turned out to be two white american teenagers and a forty year old japanese man

not to mention that 16 year old canadian kid on the phone

poor carmen has an iv and a heart monitor she was not doing so hot

actually cannot tell if they stole an ambulance or painted their van to look like one i think they painted the van??

wait no it has lights on top DID YOU STEAL AN AMBULANCE???

that quick shot of ivy ducking down and checking carmen kills me every time augh

i love this quick, rough but getting smoother dynamic player and shadow-san get with taking the capers while red is down. i also LOVE that they took this opportunity to move into and decorate the warehouse further. it becomes home while carmen recovers

also the way carmen is barely ever awake is just so. augh

OOOH CARMEN'S DREAM i love this scene. there are so many little tiny things to pick up on before the brunt reveal that it's not real: ivy's voice waking her but ivy being nowhere in sight, chief not having a pen to beam from, chief not being able to activate pens from her end, etc. the first time i saw this, though, I was totally fooled. i was like ohhhh shit chief??????

btw have i ever talked about the sound design on chief's voice? her real voice intertwined with mechanical/digital noises that sometimes even blot out parts of words that just sell the illusion that she's coming from a speaker

god the way carmen jumps as soon as she hears brunt's voice ugah

the dutch angle on brunt to sell the fact that this is WRONGWRONGWRONGWRONG MM its so good

and carmen's pupils contracting when she wakes up mm

LOOK HOW HARD DEVINEAUX HAS BEEN WORKING GO SIR DO THAT PAPERWORK

that little side glance devineaux gives to see if he sold it thats so funny

and the sad sick face dropping off his face for an evil little grin he's literally so funny

"roll of red yarn" has become another one of the phrases I just repeat over and over it lives rent free in my brain for some reason

he's crocheting a little carmen hat and coat for his pet cat

the music going really sinister and lowkey a little concerned as soon as it reveals that devineaux's got this crazy ass conspiracy board

the callback to the very first capers devineaux/julia reeled off in the pilot!!! (plus boston tea party of course)

the shot of devineaux tacking up papers on the "camera" is one of my favorites, so fun

carmen has so many kettlebells what the fuck

man i love how you can see the wave of exhaustion hit her like a truck. she's not even close to a hundred percent still, but she's "relaxing makes me fidgety" carmen sandiego so of course she's up using the punching bag

oh hey also one thing about this episode is i dont think i've ever realized but it spans over a TON of time. like, maybe a month?? more?? girlie doesn't trip and slam her face on death's door and then get up and go work out in a week

ALSO WAS THIS THE FIRST APPEARANCE OF CARMEN'S WORKOUT OUTFIT?? SO GAY ABOUT IT THANK GOD THEY BROUGHT IT BACK MORE TIMES

augh also you can hear the frustration in carmen's...not exactly voice because she's just kind of panting but she does this little scoff/growl/ugh that just shows how annoyed she is that she can't do this like she used to and that it still hurts

carmen say thank you challenge CARMEN SAY THANK YOU CHALLENGE CARMEN IM GOING TO MURDER YOU even when "chief" showed up the closest carmen got to "thanks for saving my life" was "you look better" "thanks to you" girl its okay you can say thank you

the way carmen bounces down on the couch itches my brain

also obsessed with how carmen's first workout session was pummeling that boxing bag because like if player was surprised she was up and still calling her the patient THAT WAS HER FIRST SESSION UP. CARMEN INSISTS ON GOING ON A CAPER THE INSTANT SHE CAN THROW A PUNCH AGAIN HJDSGJSD

the way ivy lays on that damn couch im in love with her

ZACK'S FACE

boys got trauma from last time and it shows hard this episode

i love how everyone is just like

because she is fighting tooth and claw to get out of that warehouse who's going to tell her no when dadowsan isn't around

guess you caught me lion

also. i guess carmen did have to watch out for tigers who slam her into chainlink fences

team red got the safari of all time damn they were just driving and they saw all that??

also HEY zack is driving on the correct side for their location that's really cool

ivy's trying to help you girl you do not need to make her feel bad about trying to give you water in the middle of a gigantic. well the kalahari isn't a desert but "semi-arid sandy savannah" doesn't quite roll off the tongue in the same way i guess

"he is a rockstar" i miss you elvis episode with shadowsan that could have been

everyone: gains complete trust in shadowsan brunt: im about to end this mans whole career

shadowsan just standing on the other side of the gondolas is so funny he must have gone the entire rode around up to the top of the mountain for that dramatic ass shot

he's so funny honestly

also the gondola shaking as they fight is a great detail

top ten anime moments before disaster. number 1: le chevre and fraulein blushcheeks

shadowsan just SNATCHES that case

also I love how fraulein (i know thats a term like miss but i dont have anything else to go on) is just sitting there mad about it

the friction burns on shadowsan's hand and that belt are going to be nasty

the sound design on le chevre going down the line on the belt sounds like a horse screaming in minecraft

HE'S SO EFFICENT ABOUT IT ITS HILARIOUS he's like alright damn if you say so

carmen making jokes about the situation she almost died in is a trait fanfiction writers have been gnawing on for years

player guilt tripping her is so funny like girl please don't die again

red drone <3

its roundedbitch hello sir

he pronounces the "r" in "le chevre"

carmen's decision to call in the police/ACME here directly results in roundabout becoming faculty which is cool

i remember when this season dropped and everyone was making theories about roundy. long live the "he's julia's dad theory" i loved ye while i knew ye

coach brunt is EN ROUTE? she got there FAST DAMN?? canary islands to botswana is like an 8 hour flight

the siblings being overprotective i love it so much

ungh you can see the fear at just SEEING brunt she's got so much trauma about it

player continuing to try to get carm out of there and her continuing to shut him down carmen please girl

add another fursona for carmen to have. panther sheep wolf

man you can just SEE how out of it carmen is. tigress takes her down EASY

also that slam into the fence and how she just. collapses. she can't get up from it for a solid few seconds it hurts that bad and player desperately trying to know what's happening because last time he didn't check in she ended up in a ravine

tigress just waits for her to come and then takes her out with one really really effective uppercut to the jaw

she really is off her game she didn't protect the face

i adore how expressive they let her be here. it DOES hurt. it hurts BAD. and she can't do anything to prevent what tigress is about to do

the way all three of them go "OUGH" when they hit the floor

zack just sitting on tigress

carmen looks really unimpressed about that cat in the bag pun

also idk if its just carmen never expressing anything in her life or if she's just processing what the fuck just happened (and how she couldn't really do anything without collapsing in pain from something she would have bounced back from in a second at any other time and how that almost lead to what she believes would be her death at the hands of brunt) but the way she just stares at them

they CHAINED her up

tigress has gotten a cat joke from every single person she's told her codename to

i also love how tigress always corrects people on tiger vs. tigress when she responds to them. big trans energy dont fucking misgender her fursona

LITERALLY CRYING LAUGHING ITS SO FUNNY SHE JUST DOES IT TO BE AN ASSHOLE JHFSGHFKSAD

dont you know im still standing better than i ever did lookin like a true survivor feelin like a little kid

but anyway another place cs suffers from its rating. chief is the reason she's not DEAD and the script having to skirt around that with flowery language lessens the impact

oh wait a minute my bad. i take it back. he does get to say that she nearly froze to death thank god yes player go off king

looking at lettuce? the ancient greek sex symbol? julia you are so scandalous devineaux's having a dream about conspiracy theories and he accidently walked into julia's wet dream about carmen

thats a joke sjhdgjs okay getting back to what the dream is actually about i love that devineaux's perception of julia in his head is that she just shushes him and reminds him about the rules all the time

"a hat? in a corner grocery?" sir you're buying YARN in a corner grocery

look at that gay little julia devineaux's subconscious knows julia as only rule following and down bad for carmen

yeah chase is actually kind of. breaking the fourth wall a little in this dream? he's calling back to the lucky cat caper, which he was there for. but he's referencing the cat with the stamp in it, which had a coin slot in its head while the others didnt. he never saw those cats- he's heralding back to something CARMEN did. this is for the audience to connect and emulate how chase's thought process is working!

arent the canary islands on...the other side of africa?

i love how red drone flinches at the same time player does she's like a little guy she's part of the team she's real to me

we both know thats not why player

isnt the pen supposed to be the most secure method of communication ever or something

also can you imagine being shadowsan right then and realizing that. fuck. the person who carmen now owes somewhat of a debt to for saving her life and who is now an ally is the person who MURDERED CARMEN'S FATHER

"i'll be the one wearing red" okay how about directions

roundy using the birtish government liking to have control in africa as an excuse is the most realistic thing in this show

HAHA I JUST REALIZED THE QUEEN IS DEAD S3 FINALE IS GOING TO BE SOOO AWKWARD

i love how his glasses reflect green to show the change of sides its top tier classic cs color theory

chase should be able to get some sick days he does like 10 times the work of the poor old farts in there

DID I JUST HEAR A SEAGULL

CHASE'S SEAGULL SNEEZE IS SO FUNNY

he's literally so funny he could have done this call from anywhere else but im willing to bet that he completely forgot about work until he'd already rented the thing and was in it (and also had flown?? from france to the coast of africa???)

loving the smooth transition from the boat motor to the car motor

maam we have a car door for a reason you dont need to vault over the windshield

HAHAHA THE BACKUP IS FOUR COPS

the zoom on the timer as it counts down is fantastic

thats the second time zack has been knocked off the bed dskjfshfdsw

autistic zack agenda

brunt doesn't fit in the car lmfaooo

OH FUCK I FORGOT brunt didn't fly from the canary islands that's why she could get there so fast. my bad

chase is doing SO well just. a lITTLE too late

studies show that carmen will be attacked on trains 100% of the time

autistic zack agenda

what is chief sitting on im curious does she have a chair in her. hologram room or whatever

chief how scandy (im aware thats not what is usually means i think its funny though)

yeah you could see jules evvvvery dayyyyyyy

au where she enlists in acme and then gets shunted onto a treasures of knowledge timeline

man i love this part. she gets JUMPED

also how her eyes snap open as soon as she realizes brunt is there with her. she's ready to fight her, but as soon as brunt gets anywhere near her she is TERRIFIED

she flinches back, she stops struggling, all she can probably think about is last time. she doesn't go back to angry once brunt backs off a little. she's still fucking terrified. she knows she's not in the right state to fight TIGRESS- much less brunt. and brunt nearly killed her easily last time. if she decided to hurt her now, tied up and with like ten broken ribs, she'd be done for.

HERE WE GO SHITS GOING DOWN

who? its such a fucking. good question it takes her a second to realize. she's been told all her life by this woman that she's never had any family but vile, that she was abandoned. now brunt tells her that not only did she have a father but vile sent her new dad to kill him? and then he apparently stole her and brought her back and everyone lied to her for twenty years?? thats literally so fucked up she's so justified in going absolutely feral for the rest of the season

the anger in her voice as she starts to confront brunt about it and then the return of fear when brunt gets close to her again to gag her

"NO. DON'T LEAVE. NOT YET"

oh my god and then the episode closing on her writhing and screaming on the floor with her world turned upside down its so fucking good

the music btw also helps a TON its so sinister it gets your heart pumping ungh

okay i love this episode im so excited for the finale of the season!!!! how are we there already???

i cant believe zack and ivy didnt put carmen on lockdown after they checked on her and found her tied up and gagged screaming in the dark that had to suck

i wonder if there are any missing scene fics of that. them taking out the gag and the first words out of carmen's mouth are "shadowsan killed my father" can you fucking imagine what the fuck that sounds like a great read. give me fic recs if there are any like that out there

alright anyway what a top tier episode. in spirit stockholm, african ice, and deep dive are a three parter and the next episode is just the payoff to EVERYTHING im so excited. they seriously went so hard on s1 and s2 and by producing them basically together they are so fucking solid man i love it

alright- until (probably late) next week. bye yall!