#[ he’s repenting at the end - but that doesn’t take away the bad things hes done ]

[aworldofyou]

Everyone talking about High Honor and Low Honor Arthur Morgan on my dash and I love it. So I’m gonna contribute my opinion too.

There isn’t much difference between them, they’re both pieces of work, they’re both someone you don’t wanna piss off. They’re the same person. The only difference is one will rob your corpse and the other won’t. It doesn’t matter if you’re still dead.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Whew you came in time. I’d like to request Wolverine (from the Deadpool movie in particular) with a very caring and affectionate s/o. Once again, my weakness for grumpy/traumatized individual x sunshine shows

Logan oftentimes wondered why you, someone so kindhearted and willing to do anything just to see someone smile, stayed by his side especially after everything he’s done.

He didn’t believe himself to be that great of a partner either when it counted but you’d always shone him that beautiful smile of yours and told him that he was anything but a bad partner. Oh how he too wishes he could accept that as the definitive truth but given how he had lead his life up until meeting you, Logan couldn’t help but think otherwise.

He had lost the ability to trust a long time ago and would instead double down on an inherited belief that he didn’t need nobody but himself, assuming that he was meant to walk this life a lone wolf he believed himself to be. Unfortunately for Logan he was a human as everybody else and humans more often then not craved connection, relationships and so on with other human beings.

Logan was no exception to this rule, no matter how often he thinks he’s not, but has forced himself to the point where he physically couldn’t stay within the presence of someone the moment he starts to deeply care for them. He couldn’t bear to be the reason someone else dies, regardless whether his part was intentional or unintentional.

So when you came into his life like a shining beacon, a second chance, everything within him told him to run away and maintain distance so that his bad luck doesn’t rub off on you and causes to to be sent to an easy grave. However you were rather stubborn for someone so soft and sweet that no matter what Logan did to put distance between the two of you, you were quick to close the distance with a knowing look within your eyes as you placed a hand on his shoulder.

‘It’s okay.’ You tell him. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

‘Don’t promise something you don’t intend to uphold.’ He replies as he then shrugs off your hand and walks elsewhere. He wasn’t going to make it easy for you, that you were aware and were willing to anything to make him see that you weren’t lying, but what you weren’t aware was how easily you had slipped past Logan’s guard much to his dismay and that made him scared.

He had already lost Scott, jean, ororo, beast and many more due to his actions, the wounds were too fresh to be ignored as their screams of his name haunted his dreams as they did his waking life. He didn’t want to add your name amongst the seemingly never ending graveyard that was his loved ones, past, present and future. And yet he couldn’t help but find himself wanting to do everything in his power to make sure you were safe and protected.

His body was torn in two directions on how to go about you, leave you alone until you see that he wasn’t any good for you, or stay by your side and make sure that no harm ever does come to touch you. ever.

You were there during every turbulent moment of his life, watched him tear things apart and show the ugliest side of himself in hopes it would scare you away, but all you did was step over the dead bodies and hold his face in your hands as your thumbs wiped the blood from his cheeks.

‘Are you okay? You’re not hurt?’ You’d ask and Logan would always be left a little speechless because how can you still see the good in him after seeing firsthand what he could do when tested. He was confused at how you could still smile at him so sweetly while clearing him of blood that wasn’t his, he didn’t understand what he did to deserve you.

For all Logan knew was that he was cursed and shouldn’t be allowed a happy existence but yet life sent him the sweetest, most kind and honest person in the form of you as what? Repentance for all the shit he’s been through? Like he’d ever believe life would ever give him a fucking break when all it’s ever done but take everything away from him, even when he was doing okay for himself.

He saved lives but the ones closest to him were taken away, and even when he does take lives the people closest to him still suffer regardless. So what was Logan meant to take away from that other than the fact that he was doomed for the very moment he could heal a gun wound as though it were a scratch.

However overtime and a fuckton of patience on your behalf and soon enough Logan was more reciprocal of your affection and care, even going so far as to give you his own affection in his own unique way that wasn’t grunts and unconvincing reassurance of his own well being. He had grown a soft spot for you but he didn’t care, he loved your soft heart and the sweet sounds you made whenever he felt a little flirtatious then normal.

You were slowly healing the wounds that his regenerative powers could not and Logan couldn’t help but be thankful that you didn’t give up on him, nor leave him alone when you probably should’ve but wouldn’t because you didn’t want him to be alone anymore.

He isn’t one for pda, the most Logan would do was sling an arm over your shoulder, keep you close by his side with his arm on your waist as he glared at anyone who was tempted to take his little sunshine from him.

You described him as moody, temperamental, stubborn, a pain in the ass and then called him a grey storm cloud on a sunny day. Many would say that they were all negative things but you’d then reply with ‘yet they all look good on him.’ Because it was true. They did look good on him and you weren’t about to express pride in the good you see in him without acknowledging that he was a man of many flaws and scars. You wanted to show that your love for Logan was genuine and real, show him that you weren’t excepting him to be the perfect man with the life he’s lived, and you hoped that he could see that he meant everything to you.

And he did see because you meant everything to him in return, he’d tear everything apart with his bare hands if anything were to ever happen to you and he wasn’t nearby to stop it. He was like an unstoppable force to be reckoned with that he wouldn’t even acknowledge the bullet wounds nor the blood, not until you cup his face once more in your hands and wipe away the blood on his cheeks like you have plenty of times before.

‘You sure are a mucky pup Logan.’ You’d say lightheartedly as though he didn’t just tear apart an entire facility for you.

‘How you aren’t fazed by this I’ll never know.’ He replied but was relived to see that you were unharmed before pulling you into his arms, where he held you tightly to his chest just to breath you in while you cling to him in return, happy to see him as you felt safe and sound in his arms again.

‘Well when your lumberjack of a partner is the temperamental type, it kinda comes with the territory to expect him to come home a little bloody.’ You told him as you burrowed your head into his neck and closed your eyes, only to squeal in surprise when Logan pinched your side. ‘For someone who’s sweet and gentle, you sure are a sneaky shit aren’t you?’ Logan said as he felt you silently giggle but couldn’t help but smile himself as he presses a kiss to your head. Happy to have been given a second shot a life, a happier shot and with you no less.

[causeimcrayzeebee]

MAJOR DRDT CHP 2 EP 16 SPOILERS

hey guys what the FUCK JUST HAPPENED. holy SHIT. never ask a gay person what happened October 5th 2024.

first can i say that the execution was phenomenal. i miss ace SO MUCH already but goodness the ending hurt. i had a feeling he’d die of fear once the execution started but that did NOT make it any easier to watch. holy shit.

i love how much self reflection happened. Ace, after all this time of being unable to repent for the harm he caused, instilled that motivation to be better into Arturo to save Levi’s life. from being called a coward by teruko to calling someone else on their cowardlyness was honestly kind of cathartic to see. ngl im excited to see what’s ahead for arturo after this!!

despite Teruko’s whole speech about how she won’t die, Levi jumped in to save her. he says he doesn’t understand human empathy but this was pretty damn close. even tho she assured everyone she’d be fine, Levi tried to save her anyways, but again it could just be driven by his need to do what he thinks a good person would do. praying he survives cause holy shit. him saying that he doesn’t understand Ace and Ace trying to push him away even more really stung….

MonoTV’s reset actually caught me so off guard. i kinda love it tho, it really displays the tone shift. ofc this killing game has been fucked up from the start, but it’s gotten even darker now as the main source of humor as well as comical incompetence is no longer who we knew it as. very likely that monotv won’t have another slip up like losing who’s motive is who’s again next chapter.

terukos development…. holy shit. I can’t stop saying holy shit bc tbh all of these are my thoughts immediately after finishing it and im still recovering from shock so take these with a grain of salt. i absolutely love how her arc has gone. as many have said previously, Ace is an example to Teruko what the isolation she forced herself through can do to people. Ace is the tragedy that could befall her as well. not to make things about percy jackson, but it’s very akin to the luke and percy foils (ik it’s not the same thing really I just wanted to mention their character foils) Arei is one side of the coin, and Ace, and Teruko if she kept going how she was before this trial, are the other. Arei was able to own up to her mistakes, and the others weren’t.

There’s also something that really displays their similarities when Teruko has to stay behind to cry because she’s too cowardly to face the group this way. Might just be because of timing but yk just a thought. Teruko was essentially admitting of guilt for Xander’s death and missing him, as well as Min. It really is easier to pretend as if everything is out of your control, even when you could have done something. Teruko has to learn about what’s beyond her dichotomy of blame and fate.

okay guys. let’s get this out of the way. um. this sprite is NOT helping you beat the mastermind allegations Whit. I actually jumped out of my seat seeing this sprite, it was actually quite horrifying to witness this. in response to Min’s execution, Whit had hardly much of a reaction, which has been a bit suspicious but likely has to do with how he grieves considering his mother. This tho…. i can’t tell if it makes him more or less suspicious (genuinely if anyone wants to talk about things that either prove or disprove Whit mastermind theories pls go ahead im so interested in what people think cause im at a loss). but like…. why is his hand behind him. what is he doing.

genuinely so wild how this whole time, Whit has only show a significant amount of care for Charles. yea i love charwhit they gay as hell, but even so, this specific focus that Whit has when it comes to Charles is something that, if Whit really is the mastermind or even just a traitor, it could be reaaaallllyyy bad news for Charles. I would not be surprised if he was trying to get close to Charles to make it hurt as much as possible when he revealed himself to be the mastermind or something of that nature. Or it could just be him having grown an attachment to Charles in some way (again pls lmk what you think about whit!!!) We’re not getting the happy love story we want but what did we expect when it’s a fanganronpa.

so yeah those are my thoughts on the ending of chapter 2! I planned to do a quick funny post and yet here i am writing analysis for half an hour. goodness. anyways to make up for funny post, i saw this part of Ace’s execution and my first thought was bungo stray dogs reference (crowd starts booing).

[spaceprincessem]

another coda for robstar week!! i love robin angst (he makes it so easy). this is after the first red x episode and since this is based of favorite quotes in centers a little around robin and starfire's conversation where she calls him out on his behavior @robxstar

day 6 - favorite quotes

i'm addicted to disastrous thinking

Robin is an early riser.

Or, well, he usually is.

Sleeping in was a luxury he gave up a long time ago, because there was always work to be done. Training, profiling, researching, or patrolling; it never seemed to end. Under Batman his schedule was strict and rigid, leaving no room to keep his eyes closed past sunrise.

With the Titans he’s learned to let himself bend a little more. Living with four other teenagers with varying preferences for sleeping allowed the rigidity of his former upbringing to ease. He’s still an early riser, partially because he likes the quietness the morning brings. He can sip his coffee and watch the sunrise as he boots the computer and starts his day.

Raven is another early morning Titan, their routines steadily circling around each other the longer they live together. Raven always beat him to starting the coffee pot, but he graciously learn how she took her cup — two scoops of sugar, no cream.

Cyborg and Starfire awoke around the same time, about an hour after he and Raven, but still early enough that the coffee was still warm and the rest of the city began to spring into life; the hum of the morning commute flitting over the ocean. Beast Boy slept in the latest, joining them at the tail end of breakfast. 

This morning, though, Robin knows he’s the last one to crawl out of bed. 

It’s not surprising, all things considered. 

Last night’s battle was hell and he’s still actively punishing himself for the stupid Red X plan that fell apart nearly a week ago.

He knows that, no matter what, his team will always have his back, even when he doesn’t deserve it. They’re better than that, though, and Robin will be forever grateful for their never ending grace they extend to him. They haven’t really talked all that much outside of training and battle which Robin can’t exactly fault them for.

He betrayed their trust and pushed them away. He let Slade dig in too deep, blinding him to just how much he would hurt the people he cared about most simply because he thought he was being clever. Even if the plan had worked he hardly doubts he’d come out unscathed.

Stopping Slade wouldn’t negate the fact that he lied to his team. 

He’s been yelled at before, even Batman loses his temper, but coming from his friends cut deep. He let them fire away, knew that it was for the best, and anxiously waited for Starfire to take her turn, bracing himself for the inevitable final blow.

You want to yell at me too?

He shouldn’t have been surprised that Starfire would take him apart so quietly. Her hurt and disappointment was worse than anything else the others said. The last thing he ever wanted to do was let her down.

Forgiveness isn’t easily earned, but it's just a matter of time, because the Titans were his friends and they loved him. But he couldn’t ignore the itch beneath his skin, the need to do something, repent or maybe to just give penance. 

He doesn’t mind taking some of the harder hits in exchange for his team’s safety despite being the most human out of all of them. Last night was particularly awful and he sheepishly let them finish off the bad guy when his rib made a disturbing cracking sound when he was body slammed into a car.  

He stands in front of his bathroom mirror, shirtless, staring at the blooming hues of black and blues across his abdomen. Thank god for Raven and her healing abilities. An accident like that with Batman would have put him out for a week. 

He presses on the bruise, biting down on the hiss before it can escape past his lips. His fingers are cold as he digs in a little more, letting the pain remind him that his actions have consequences.

His eyes flutter close and he can’t help, but imagine Starfire’s frown, her eyebrows knitting together as her entire face twists with something sad. It’s rare to see her that way; she’s usually the sun, bright, happy, and warm. 

She’d watch him press down on the same spot last night, right after Raven had healed it because he felt like his pain was absolved too soon. Her fingers, gentle and always radiating heat like a fire, pulled his hand away.

“Don’t,” she whispers, “no more punishment.”

He shivers just thinking about her touch and slowly eases up on his bruise. 

He can smell breakfast as soon as his door swishes open, his stomach growling as he imagines fresh chocolate chip pancakes with bacon and maple syrup laid out on the kitchen island.

Cyborg’s taken it upon himself to teach Starfire to cook, the two of them pouring over his grandmother’s old recipe book in their free time. Robin’s even caught them perfecting vegan baked goods for Beast Boy despite Cyborg’s incessant teasing.

It’s a lazy Sunday, most of the Titans still in their house clothes as Robin steps into the living room dressed in his own sweats and hoodie.

“Robin,” Starfire smiles as soon as she sees him, “you’re finally awake.”

“Dude,” Beast Boy says as he transforms out of a goat (goat yoga — he’ll have to ask Raven about that later) , “we thought we were going to have to drag you from bed to join us for breakfast.”

“I had to teach Cyborg to make my coffee.” Raven adds, but there’s an underlying tease to her tone.

“Yours is easier than Star or BB’s,” Cyborg frowns as he flips the last pancake onto a platter stacked high, “who insists on having it frozen and blended.”

Robin bites his lip, stopping the relieved smile from breaking across his face. He stands, watching for a few moments as Beast Boy fires back with a list of why iced coffee is superior to which Starfire nods enthusiastically and Raven immediately starts to counter argue. 

He lets himself wander over to the coffee pot, but his usual mug is already full, and steaming as Cyborg slides it over to him with his own knowing smile. 

“Okay, everyone,” Cyborg calls as he turns off the griddle and finishes setting the breakfast bar, “get over here and dig in.”

“What happened to that bottom pancake?” Raven asks with a raise of her eyebrow as she pokes the suspiciously black cake.

“Starfire tried to cook it with her starbolts,” Beast Boy grins as he elbows the alien playfully in her side.

“Cyborg and I were merely experimenting,” Starfire pouts as she looks mournfully at the burnt food.

“And like any good scientist we concluded that we will be leaving the cooking to the stove top from now on.” Cyborg says as he fills his plate high with meat before drowning it in syrup.

“This all looks great.” Robin says as he takes his place next to Starfire, his heart traitorously fluttering with her beaming smile. 

He lets himself lean into her warmth, their shoulders brushing as they eat. Robin listens and smiles as his friends fill the kitchen with conversation and laughter. 

He can’t help but think that this feels a little like forgiveness. 

[charleecat-bat]

SLASHER/HORROR AU

So a handful o fyou actually were interested aside from one person by the time i’m making this so yeah uh. look away. don’t wanna be upsetting.

NOW i do want to clarify that I made this in the sense to be a black comedy sort of AU due to watching so many skits and shorts of horror characters in comedic situations, that was my main inspiration. 

my buddy @barsikscorner​ has been helping me develop ideas for this weird lil au.

enjoy below

please keep in mind it’s def not for sensitive softhearted people. I want to entertain with my ideas as weird as they are.

Sonic- A supernatural being who has memories of being alive but doesn’t remember what happened to him or how he died. It took him a long time to understand it but having a ‘life’ of inactivity and seeing so much more bad stuff when you’re not properly alive made him want to take action and he soon learnt how to. He toys with victims and tries to scare them into righting their wrongs but if they’ve done something unforgivable or irreversible or refuse to change, he kills them in a creative fashion. kinda based off freddy kruger but less nasty and gross.

Amy- A slasher known as either the Cupid Killer or the Rose Ripper. Goes after abusive partners and sexual predators due to her idealistic image of love so seeing this sort of behaviour makes her fly into a rage. uses her iconic hammer mostly for her kills. She wears a heart themed mask. 

Tails- a sort of 'cyber' ghost. he had died and his spirit became ingrained into tech and cyberspace. He can sort of 'appear' outside of tech and into the material world but not for too long. Can communicate with people, mostly his victims, through their tech. He targets criminals and terrible people of all sorts online and either forces them to repent for their crimes or just makes their life a living hell until he decides to end it, whether it be for him or making them doing to themselves.

Cream- mostly normal. Has a strange connection to monsters and creature however and hence the chaos. They protect her. Chaos have a bit of a 'yes they're cute but they can be dangerous' reputation in this AU. they definitely have taken care of people that have threatened the sweetie bbies life and safety without her knowledge.

Vanilla- A protective mother who either lost her first child or almost lost Cream herself so she started to become a serial killer who went after child murderers, abusers and predators. She keeps this side of her away from Cream and is a loving mother nonetheless. Her main weapon are garden shears that can be seprated into a pair of blades and her mask is deocrated with flowery designs. 

Knuckles- an undead/ghost like slasher that has become one with the woods he’s connected to, quite literally having roots and such all over and even inside of him (being exposed in old wounds he has). He’s cursed to walk amongst the mystical land that he was murdered on and now protects it and keeps people out. He’s very easy to anger but he’ll never attack people like lost children or people who are obviously not looking to trespass and are lost. Anyone who does trespass and does anything he deems disrespectful to the land or just refuse to leave he handles violently. He tends not to leave the area and hasn't even tried to. He might be able to. Might not.

Shadow- A space-like being that can shapeshift into horrifying forms. He was taken and experimented on a spaceship but grew close to a human girl named Maria on board. They used this to have a chance to study him without the risk of him being aggressive. After she was killed during a government break-in and he was captured and taken back to Earth. He went on a vengeful rampage in the base and now just does his own thing on earth since he can't exactly leave. He was tempted to destroy everyone but now is content on just watching the stupid shenanigans and occasionally tormenting someone he doesn't like. And gossip. Inspired by Pennywise/It and Predator

Rouge- a seductive slasher that has very strange desires and doesn’t really have any motivation other than she wants to. She likes to take bones (and occasionally the blood) of her victims to make accessories and jewellery out of them. She’s not completely heartless though and has standards and there stuff she won’t do. She uses her beauty and appearance to lure victims most of the time, to appear innocent and harmless or sexy and sultry depending on what she wants. She wear’s a beautiful decadent mask, and sports specialised finger blades she created into gloves.

Silver- a mysterious spirit that’s tied to a cursed object. he has telepathic and telekinetic abilities and can burn disturbing images and distort a persons mind and body possibly, even mind control if he wants to need to decide how he functions properly more so inspired by samara/sadako and possibly think of other inspirations like bagul from sinister

Blaze- an otherworldly being that is hinted to used to be a normal person in one lifetime but no longer is. She works by supernatural means and tortures her victims horrifically but doesn’t do it indiscriminately. Mostly only does it when she wants, especially to those that try to summon her and use her power for themselves. Inspired by pinhead mostly but also could take elements of candyman

Big- a wild beast man that didn't have a regular upbringing. He has a werewolf-like condition where he turns into a beast against his control, for his own safety and everyone else's safety he lives in isolation. He as a special connection to animals and even has befriended Froggy who is a monstrous being that can disguise itself as a frog, it’s been named the loveland frogman when caught in one of it’s many forms. His uncle had raised him alone and kept him in the dark about how dangerous he really could be and mostly did his best to keep him safe, so out of all of them he is one of the most innocent as the worst he does is literally against is control and he's unaware of it since the most he'll know is that he'll wake up and just look around adn see blood and gore or see it on himself. He has more animal friends than mobian friends. 

Vector- a justice-seeking serial killer. He worked as a main detective with cops but grew tired of seeing not only horrible people go free and dodge the law and their punishment but even see the people that are 'supposed' to be the good guys be horrible people and letting shit slide. So he decides to take the law into his own hands and goes after anyone who he sees needing a just punishment in his city, dirty cops, abusers, predators, politicians, basically anyone who he thinks are utterly awful people that deserve to be punished. He can be quite sadistic and torturous with them and is very thorough with his research. was initially inspired by Jigsaw but he's not a hypocritical prick like Kramer.

Espio- He’s in a strange state of being an ‘undead’ being. He can’t quite tell if he’s alive but no longer mortal or if hes’ dead but still around on the mortal plane. He's kinda just... stuck in between. It’s a very strange situation. Theres evidence supporting both, he can still bleed the tiniest bit but no longer feels and still occasionally needs to eat and drink but he definitely doesn't have as much limitations he was when he was mortal/alive. Vector had found him when he broke into and ‘dealt’ with his abductor and ‘murderer’, they Vector and Espio got quite a fright when Espio was somehow still alive. Since then Vector has looked out for the lone chameleon despite being confused about his situation. He works as an assistant to Vector and they do have a very 'big brother' 'little brother' bond. He wears an Oni-themed mask. He has strange markings on his body such as his hands his back and chest, he still doesn’t know wha tthey mean but feels they have something to do with what happened to him. 

Charmy- normal mostly but can see ghosts and even repel them in a way but he doesn’t realise it. winds up protecting vec and esp from a lot of unseen danger and also is unaware of this. Charmy frequently will talk to ghosts but Vector is honestly fine with this due to all the weirdness he's run into, and initially, he just thought it was Charmy having imaginary friends. He is not involved at all in Vector and Espios 'business' because they dont' think he needs to know about that. 

Mighty- a murderous and protective spirit. he was murdered by 'accident' (if you call taking abuse too far an accident) by his father due to all the physical abuse but it was made to look like an accident so his father could save his reputation. His little sister was enraged by this injustice and in an attempt to find closure and just to talk to her brother again, his spirit was summoned and he became a vengeful being that wanted to protect her. She unleashed him on their father as a result. Matilda either summons his spirit or he just makes his own way to protect innocent people, mostly children but anyone they feel needs protection… or anyone they just want to suffer. When not angry Mighty is actually still the same form what he was in life, minus a bit of more of a temper.

Matilda- a creepy and slightly unhinged girl that studied the occult. She had done a ritual/seance to summon her brothers spirit again when he was murdeed and now he serves as her murderous protector. or just annoying ghost borther who watches and judges anything she does that he doens't like. Judgemental eyes from the grave from your brother is very annoying.

Ray- ghost boy that got attached to Mighty’s spirit and Matilda. they let him stay as he really doesn't do anything to harm then and is just lonely. He doesn't really do much of anything but can lure mighty to people, startle them to shit or even attack them but he leaves the more lethal stuff to Mighty. (kinda like toshio from ju-on/the grudge)

Nack- a heavily abused slightly mentally unstable hybrid that was abused by his small town heavily until he finally snapped and went on a rampage, killing some and driving the rest out. The village became run down and abandoned very quickly, becoming overun by nature again. The only thing intact is a scrappily made shack that Nack made himself in the middle of the land. He lives on the large property of land and guards it and does anything and everything to keep people out due to still being traumatised and afraid of people and thinking they're going ot hurt him and just not trusting them.  He is proficient with guns and prefers his shotgun but can and will use other weapons, a hunting knife, machete or even a chainsaw. He's shown to be incredibly strong despite his small size, being able to run with a chainsaw in hand. (inspired by leatherface and mick taylor)

Bark- a cold serial known as the Billionaire Butcher that targets greedy billionaires, getting a distaste for them after growing up surrounded by like-minded people. He drains their accounts and steals money and while he does pocket a small amount for himself, he doesn’t keep all of it because he doesn't want to become what they are. Most likely just keep his own regular reputation as good hearted philanthropist by donating a lot of money to good causes. His main methods include using an ice-pick as his main weapon due to experience with the tool. He met Nack in a rather awkward way but they quickly became friends and he was the first person allowed on Nacks property.

Bean- A mentally unhinged boy that has a penchant for fire and burning things. Just a very strange kid. he escaped from a mental hospital and ran onto nacks property and he and bark just let him stay as despite his mental stability of there lack of he was mostly harmless to them.  he doesn't talk a lot about his past but has shared tidbits, including stories of abuse, burning his own home down and mistreatment and abuse from the hospital. he ever has burn scars. He tends to chill out in the attic of their home and just likes to appear out of nowhere. (sort of inspired by billy from black christmas)

Infinite- A telekinetic and telepathic being who was ostracised by a large ration of people in his home town, mostly the religious types due to thinking he was a devil-child. He snapped after thinking he lost his family when his house was set on fire.As a result he went on a rampage destroyed the a huge chunk town with his powers and killing the ones who were responsible. He now lives and deals with a lot demons and strangeness... literally. He’s not aware his family actually survived they just didn’t even give him a moment to hear this and he left before he actually got told. DUMMY (Inspired by Carrie)

Gadget- a victim of a wannabe cult, they wanted to sacrifice him but it didn’t work and he became possessed by an incubus, a demon of lust. He struggles with his urges due to the demon and at first fought it and then finds an arrangement thanks to Infinte, his boyfriend. Actually kills people while doing the deed with it and if needed, feeds on their bodies, not the extent of Storm. (Inspired by Jennifers Body kinda) The demon has a slightly different voice and changes the colour of his eyes when it's speaking through Gadget and Gadget definitely has a demon form that is either physically attractive or purely terrifying depending on the taste. It’s not an entirely pleasant situation btu Gadget learns to handle it. 

Jet- a insecure and pissy lil birb boy that got into a life of serial killing after his cousin got possessed and needed flesh/blood to survive. At first, it was nerve-wrecking but he quickly got a taste for it as he enjoys making people feel powerless and afraid, he toys with them before finishing the job including phone calls, threatening messages and taunting them verbally while going after them. Inspired by Ghostface. He gets mad fun of a lot by the other professionals. 

Wave- a dark web guru. She has a massive powerful following on the deep dark web and does a lot of dark illegal things, such as selling body parts on the black market and even doing strange videos and documentation of experiments. She was also not involved initially but due to the situation their cousin got into she quickly did and then quickly found out about how much money they could get and also get rid of a lot of the body parts. Win-win situation in her mind. She has definitely gone a bit crazy due to all her experimenting and the shit she does for the dark web. She wears a plague doctor-inspired mask when recording and documenting stuff for the dark web. 

Storm- While originally only doing little crimes like thievery for money, he also was the victim of the same wannabe cult that Gadget was and it also failed, becoming possessed by a demon of gluttony. It makes him want to devour flesh and blood and he unfortunately had no choice. When he gets to the point where the demon demands for him to consume, he cant eat anything else even if he tries. It just comes right back up and he starves. He’s still coming to terms with it and grew depressed and got a bit of a tricky relationship with food. he gets some help from gadget so shit doesn't suck for him entirely anymore. The Demon definitely is based off of Venom is some silly way. The demon is a bit of a screamer and talks loudly to Storm and since only storm can hear it 90 percent of the time he gets VERY tired of it (i initially wanted him to be food related like a killer chef but god i didn't want him to be a willing cannibal that's just another level of ICK)

[lovelessdagger]

Starlight - Chapter 40: After

Pairing: Din Djarin x OC

Rating: Mature

Enemies to Lovers, Slow Burn, Canon Divergence, Smut

WARNINGS: None.

Words: 1.4k

Summary:  Tatooine is the galaxy's own personal hell.

A/N: I suppose this can be considered the final chapter, it is in many respects. I've received many asks about the state of Lumina and Din's relationship, while this ending doesn't say much, I do believe it says everything. The epilogue is next, I am still trying to find the words. I hope I don't disappoint.

Masterlist | Starlight Masterlist | AO3 | Prev | Next

Tatooine is the galaxy’s own personal hell. That much is evident. Emotions once indifferent are now set in carbonite stone. Tatooine is nothing but memory and misery; there is no repentance. Tatooine is a barren wasteland gone to the dogs, and the dogs have died.

Crossing over a sand dune, the Mandalorian leaves heavy prints to track. He walks east towards missing binary suns in the dead of night. 

He wonders about dawn and the possibilities of her unknown light. He cannot stand the sight of stars, finding them to only lead to hell.

Or Tatooine.

He makes way towards a defunct cantina in the distance, a lone figure with a backdrop of sky. It’s a small thing, run down, rotten. The doors open with rusted gears, making him slide in sideways when they freeze.

Tables remain unmoved, flooring worse for wear, half stripped. Some seating is tossed about, booths torn. Dust is visible, windows boarded shut.

At the seventh table lays a rifle leaned against the wood and an empty chair. He glances behind to the entrance.

He doesn’t remember it all being so much bigger than him.

---

Tatooine’s horizon is the edge of the universe and Lumina is alone. The wind is chilling, dying blows signal the aftermath of a storm. She tugs her cloak tighter. Humming soft under her breath, her legs dangle off the cantina’s back roof.

She looks down, flicking a half burnt cigarette.

“You can’t die from this height.” A voice from behind.

“I know,” she replies over the wind. She turns her wrist. Soreness remains even after bacta. After the first time, Fennec said she was lucky it only sprained. Lumina still isn’t sure if she agrees.

She looks back at her guest, the Mandalorian tall and not so proud. “Care to join me?”

His steps are heavy, his boots drag along the cemented roof and grating piling of sand. He sits beside her without any real poise, swinging his own cape back.

“I can’t say I like what you’ve done with the place,” he says.

“Boba bought the building and shut it down. Was his first major purchase after gaining control of the territory. Won’t tell me what the plan is, but it seems positive.”

“Positive?”

“There’s a lot you can do in the middle of no where.”

He agrees. “There is… so why are you here?”

She shrugs. “Why are you?”

He gives no answer.

“You shouldn’t smoke,” Din says instead. “Bad for you.”

She takes a purposeful drag. “I want to give you something.” Lumina digs through the satchel on her left, rummaging past her saber hilt, a lightbulb, and a newly etched data pad. In her gloved hand she presents a large shard of emerald glass. “Here.”

“What is it?”

“Flip it over.”

He does just that, his hands cautious in touching hers and the object of question. Heavier than he suspected, Din turns the hoax gem. The front is an encased remnant bedrock chiseled with a distinct Mando’a inscription.

“Is it…”

“Real? Far as I can tell, yeah.” Lumina runs her index finger over the letters. “Do you know what it says?”

Din gives a half nod, not strong enough to be a statement of commitment, but severely lacking in denial. “It’s scripture,” he says eventually. “We learn of tales of the Mand’alors of past. The formation of the Creed, the strength of our planet, our people. This looks like part of the story of the Taung—the original Mandalorians, it was my favorite. They were forced away from their original home on Coruscant and found solace on Mandalore. This section, it tells of how they felt a calling to the world. Something they couldn’t explain.”

“Sounds like the Force,” Lumina says.

“Where did you get this?”

“Jawas,” she answers. “I went to Peli’s to return the ship I took. Total coincidence they were there too.” Her lips press together, she tosses the cigarette butt off the edge. “I wouldn’t have reached out but—well they’re your people, not mine. Mand’alor.”

Din nods again, though overall more sure. “Thank you.”

The issue of the helmet, the reveal, lingers in the air.

She asks, “Have you spoken to your people since—”

“No.”

“I see.”

“I know what they’ll say. I’ll be excommunicated… any credibility I have with the Darksaber will be gone.”

“Then you do want it?”

Din hesitates. “Bo-Katan—” he begins to say.

“Is a threat unrealized. That’s what Fennec says.” 

“What do you think?”

“That you should keep an eye on her. She’s hiding more than she lets on. The Darksaber is in your possession now. In a way, you are king. Be wise.”

“Even with this”—Din waves the glass—“there’s no telling if it’s habitable. And if it is, Mandalore hasn’t had a monarch since before I was a foundling.”

“Then they’ll have no expectations.”

“What if I don’t want this?” Din asks. “I’m hardly a mandalorian anymore. This may not be my path.”

“The Force connected you to that sword for a reason,” Lumina says. “You need to restore your faith.”

He snorts. “In the Force?”

“In yourself.”

After a beat Din says, “So what’s the real reason you called me?”

Lumina could choose to be astounded by his attunement to her, a superficial everlasting trait it seems. But on occasion, in the two weeks passed since their last meeting, his words have grown a habit of circling.

Knowing forever is quite the promise, but Din carries loyalty to his own demise with honor.

“I’m leaving tomorrow,” she says. She lights another cigarette. “For good.”

His breathing stops, his hand tenses, his posture shifts. Lumina closes her eyes, inhaling deep through the Force. Her mind is too clouded, she wants to act rationally. She wants to be cordial. A diplomat. Express a gratitude for positive relations and nobility. Proclaim allegiance on behalf of Tatooine to all of Mandalore.

Or she could close up. Bid farewell and leave at that.

Neither feels correct.

“I can’t shake this feeling that there’s something out there,” Lumina says. “Something bigger than any of us realize. It’s more than the Empire. The things Gideon was doing to me… there’s a reason. He may have failed, but with my capture he proved his goals were possible. It’s only a matter of time until someone picks up where he left off. And when that comes, I don’t know how we’ll win.”

“You’re scared of another war,” Din says.

Lumina swallows, cringing at the lump in her throat. “Not just another war. Another clone war, only this time they’re all like me. I have to do what I can.”

The Mandalorian removes his helmet under the moonlight, placing it to the side. He takes a smoke from Lumina’s pack, waiting until she lights the drug to speak. “Where are you going?”

“I don’t know yet. I’m cashing in a promise I’m owed, so wherever the Force takes me.”

He nods. “Will I ever see you again?”

Her head tips back, she looks into the night. The moons and stars are a fragile crystal setting. Wind blows the line out of view. “You’ll see me everywhere,” then, “I’ll see you too. I think it’s the will of the Force that we’re stuck together.”

She can barely hear his response, were she not herself she wouldn’t hear it at all. But it comes, a soft passing through his lips.

“Good.”

The moons reflect beautifully off Din’s armor, symbolic in a way. Bringing her glimmers of light at the universes edge. A performance of intangible wonder for her eyes only. She leans against his shoulder. He’s warm, despite it all.

His lips press against the top of her head.

“I love you,” Din mumbles into her scalp. Three little words finally said.

She smiles, halfway. “I know.” And then, “I love you too.”

Above their heads a white bird soars across the stars. It calls a song and Lumina looks away at her feet off the edge. A small ebony snake slithers along the roofing.

“Darasuum,” she says. “Right?”

His agreement is repetition. “Darasuum.”

Forever.

For the first time, Lumina thinks Tatooine may not be so bad after all. It isn’t great, few things are, but in the aftermath of apocalypse wastelands can still bloom.

Impossible life has been created before, it can again.

She is proof.

A wave of relief rushes through the planets wind. A renewal, in a way.

Life is separated into two eras.

Before: Living sustained on betrayals and manipulated promises. The Empire, the Sith, the Machine.

After: Her. After there are stars and orchids and auroras. There is rebirth. There is hope.

There is more than the legacy of Anakin Skywalker.

Lumina is sure of it.

This has all happened before. It was inevitable. Nothing has changed.

----

Epilogue: Starlight

----

Taglist: @lexloon​ @jay-bel​ @xsadderdazeforeverx​ @spideysimpossiblegirl​ @sarahjkl82-blog​ @annoyinglythoughtfuldestiny​ @hello-th3r3​

[xiaq]

CHAPTER 4 IS UP ON AO3

“Do they all just seem impossibly young to you?” Potter says after several minutes of silence.

He’s looking at the dance floor, eyes dark and fathomless.

Draco follows his gaze to the colour-spangled, undulant crowd: a tide of bodies moving with the pulse of music—heads thrown back, teeth white in the black light, skin slick with sweat. Couples lean against the walls and each other, hands spanning backs, mouths to ears, lips to throats. The dance floor is a study in unrestraint. 

Draco can feel the bass in his lungs.

On another night he might actually enjoy it. Tonight, it hurts.

He sips his drink and lets the rim rest against his bottom lip, tongue against teeth and teeth against glass. He exhales.

“Perhaps we’re just old before our time,” Draco says. He feels ancient, most days, like he’s lived a lifetime already. “Children aren’t supposed to go to war, after all.”

“And yet they keep ending up there,” Potter murmurs. He tips his drink, finishing the last of the liquid, and breaks an ice cube between his teeth. “The papers keep talking about healing and returning to normal, but I don’t think—do you ever feel like maybe you’ll never be normal again? That there’s no coming back from the things we’ve seen.The things we’ve done.”

For a moment, Draco is plagued with indecision. Because he doesn’t want to answer honestly, not here, not to Potter. But then he’s been trying to stop taking the coward’s way out in difficult situations, and there’s no time like the present.

“Sometimes it feels wrong,” Draco says slowly. “To enjoy things. Just simple things. Like eating the first biscuit in a new package or sliding under the duvet on a newly made bed—listening to music in the car. Because there are so many people who won’t ever enjoy those simple things again. And I was, at least partially, responsible for some of their deaths. I think I may live the rest of my life trying and failing to repent for my sins.”

Potter doesn’t attempt to gentle Draco’s self-loathing.

He does, perhaps, do something even worse, though.

“Sometimes I dream about the people I indirectly killed,” Potter says. “During the war, but also the trials afterward. So many people went to Azkaban to die.”

Draco sets down his glass.

“It was easier when I could pretend they were bad people,” he continues, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Draco is struggling to breathe.

“Weren’t they?” Draco manages.

“Some, yes. But what about the ones like you? Like your mother. Except they didn’t have the money to buy mercy. ”

Draco closes his eyes but it doesn’t make the words go away.

“Coerced or not,” Draco says, opening them again, “when it was time to choose sides, they chose the wrong one.”

Potter laughs: a sharp and terrible thing. 

“Forgive me if autonomy makes a big fucking difference in my judgement of good and evil.”

Draco looks away, attention caught again by the dancing bodies around them, moving with abandon to the throbbing music. For a moment, he is intensely, viscerally, jealous.

“They’re not like us,” Draco says, more to himself than Potter. And then, realizing he’s said it out loud, scrambles to clarify what he means by “us”—because he and Potter aren’t the same. Their experiences are not equitable and he doesn’t mean to imply they are—he wouldn’t try to place their trauma in the same genre. He can’t seem to formulate the words, though.

“No,” Potter agrees, meeting his eyes. “They’re not like us.” 

[chloeworships]

🎶When a woman’s fed up🥀…

Someone did too much...

This woman is deeply hurt. I received that song from Christina Aguilera along with Adele’s Set Fire To The Rain 🌧️

Can you imagine being in this situation where the person you use to want and love so much shows up to your front DOOR and you don't even open the door and get out to speak to them, leaving them forever in the dust to move??? 👀 That says a lot babes.

The world doesn't know the half of what this man did to you. Shakespeare could have enough content to write tragedies (formerly known as comedies) for another TWO CENTURIES if he knew the depth of your pain. You could have developed anxiety, depression, sickness, eating disorders hair loss, weight loss or weight gain, lost work, money and cried an ocean of tears along with PTSD from this relationship. Girllllll if this is for you, I see why you wouldn’t want anything to do with this type of man ever again. You lost more than yourself and the LORD wants you to focus on you and JESUS.

This person could have ties to the occult via another person. Or maybe you actually dated Lucifer in human form.

UPDATED: Someone here is Egyptian 🇪🇬 Greek 🇬🇷 Canadian 🇨🇦 Jamaican 🇯🇲 and from the UK 🇬🇧

This woman could have seen something that made her turn and leave just as God backed out of the driveway. He knew what was up before you did so he intervened to save your life. God whisked us out of there in the nick of time!!!!

At the end of this street there is a dead end but when you drive further, there is a road that leads to a church… St. Michael’s. Go figure. That is a HUGE confirmation as to where God is leading you….away from heartache, the demonically possessed, and sin right into him ✝️and quite possibly to another person who is an Angel like you, cause WE was looking too sexy for no business meeting 🤣🤣🤣🥂 Also behind the fence in that direction is a GAS ⛽️ station. Remember when the LORD said to us in a previous message, “you’re on E”.

God will make a way where it appears there is none. He will make a way for you. He will part the Red Sea for his girl… his daughter(s). There is hope my girl ✨

It’s time for YOU because I feel this person is still coming in trying to control things without thinking of how their actions will affect you. I call this selfishness. They don’t have the right to dictate how things should or shouldn’t go when it comes to you and your life. They lost that privilege.

If this is the right person for you then they’ll meet you at church ⛪️ serving and praising the LORD like you do 😂

I forgot to mention, this man was wearing a Tommy Hilfiger DISTRESSED t-shirt and he was moving quickly. That was another reason I was afraid to get out of the vehicle. He could be coming back because he’s feeling distressed about something in his life right now and he’s probably remembering how much you cared for him unconditionally. Nonetheless some people pretend well and play games 🃏🎲

So I want to DECLARE as God as our witness and in front of you dear ones…

any man coming into your life to take advantage of you again or at any time will die… it will be a DEAD 💀 end for them. Their whole life and career will mash up. It doesn’t matter if this is business or romantically inclined. If they don’t have good intentions for you, mark my words…

THEY. WILL. DIE. ⚰️

And a curse will be on their lives until they turn to God and repent for their actions. This is the ONLY WAY they will live. They have been warned ⚠️ cause death is already chasing them down for what they’ve done to you 👻It was so bad that many people want nothing to do with this person. They were too self-focused and were cruel. Forgive them and move the hell on.

If you are in a toxic abusive relationship it’s time to leave NOW. Find a local church or shelter for women and stay there until further instruction from the LORD.

The colour BROWN is important to whoever God confirms this message is for.

Men be careful because God does not play about this one ☝🏾 she is precious to him. She is highly protected by Angels who will fight for her 🪽She truly loves God and is not a fake Christian ✝️

Leave a woman like this ALONE if you can’t treat her properly if you’d like to live ⚠️

God is not tolerating seeing his daughters being mistreated anymore when all they want is to be loved, cherished and appreciated. If you don’t believe me then try to test the LORD at your own risk.

The LORD will like to remind us that his instruction for husbands (and this includes future husbands to be) to treat their wives tenderly and lovingly like Jesus does the body of Christ 🥰

Colossians 3:19

My loves, I don’t mean to speak so harshly but this is the word of the LORD. I promise you that he will confirm this word to you as he did to me.

PS. I also heard something about a woman being raped by her husband. This is an abomination against the LORD and obviously this person. Shameful!!! Now I understand the harsh warning ⚠️😡

Also, this message maybe for 1/2 men but it is mostly for the ladies 👠 99%

UPDATE:

So I opened up some mail and this scripture was steering right at me. I cannot make this stuff up. This word confirms so much of what was said in these last several messages. It is, the Bible is the LIVING word 📖 and God saved us from DEATH.

[unohanadaydreams]

How would the captains react to catching their partner cheating on them? I’m feeling angst tonight

Finally some good fucking food. Angst; it’s what’s for dinner and I’m chowing down with you, anon.

Features: angst. Some violence and torture with Gin and Mayuri.

How The Original Captains React To Being Cheated On:

Genryusai Yamamoto:

There’s little to no reaction. You wouldn’t be the first and won’t be the last to use him for status or money or petty bragging rights. Just another day.

Quietly, behind closed doors, he does mourn. Not for the loss of you, but for the prospect of starting again. He caresses the pretty things he’s bought you, each touch a vote for or against bothering.

If you come to him, apologetic and willing to repent, he’ll look past the transgression. Less work for him to undertake, in the end, and the power of demanding this is that in the name of forgiveness suits him.

Shunsui Kyoraku:

He can’t help but laugh. All those years chasing girls and washing his hands of the consequences come to catch him now that he’s standing still with just one hand holding his.

Business goes on as usual, but he’s sloppier around the edges—spilling sake on paper work, falling asleep against Jushiro’s grave, and forsaking the frequent partying he’s known for in lieu of furiously scribbling down the perfect love story he didn’t get.

Honestly, he’s willing to forgive if it wasn’t done out of love for the other person and there’s a willingness to work on the relationship. Shunsui has played the unfaithful lover more times than he can remember; being black out drunk more often than sober will do that to you.

Soi Fon:

She can’t speak and doesn’t bother. Throat closed with anger, she lets her body tell you where your relationship lies—thrown off the bed and kicked outside.

There’s nothing but hatred for you and humiliation for herself. Not just personally, but professionally; a leader of the 2nd division being caught unawares is irony at the cost of her reputation.

People are always leaving her behind once she trusts them. After weeks, she’ll ask you why. Because that’s always the question burning in her chest. Why can’t she be a person someone stays for.

Gin Ichimaru:

Cute, how you think you can shuffle off and away from him after getting caught. He doesn’t flinch, talking with conversational tones. Hey, sweetie, who’s your little friend? Aww, they don’t talk or some thin’?

There’s two options; submit to grueling public humiliation or die. Gin loves to have fun, after all. And, isn’t it fun having to watch the person you cheated with get toyed with like a mouse under kitty claws? Aren’t you having fun kissing the corpse? Wasn’t your silly mistake worth it?

Gin has never forgiven, forgotten, or turned down an opportunity to make someone who cares about him regret feeling so. Your life is hell and the jailor can’t decide whether to keep your head under boiling water or kill you. Fun!

Retsu Unohana:

The impulse to leave as the only one alive is temptation incarnate. She is firm, restrained, and digs into her cheeks until her teeth pop through.

She keeps waiting to calm, for the situation to become objective instead of the turmoil in her gut. Retsu is especially brusque with everyone while working, making every stitch job a painful one. Why is there always something. Why can’t all the change finally stick; why is she still glad to feel the pain so she can inflict it back?

The betrayal was the end and there’s years of coping methods that keep you from spilling your guts on a sword, but it feels like a very near thing to her. Professionally, she’s less kind, and your next set of wounds healed by the 4th get infected. Poor thing.

Sosuke Aizen:

As far as you know, he’s stricken with heartbreak and disappointment. His voice is a touch too loud when telling you off—others hear. And disapprove greatly. He asks any bystanders for their discretion towards his privacy, adding a tear or two for effect.

Your relationship being over matters little; dime a dozen are the people who’ll fall over themselves to be his. The audacity of treating him, your better, with such unfairness? Affects him like an itch under skin.

Of course, he forgives you. He makes a show of it and the number of people out for your unhappiness grows. How could you cheat on such a gracious, loving man? You are punished with little action from himself, the many shinigami who view him with starry-eyes doing their work without needing explicit instruction.

Byakuya Kuchiki:

There’s little to say or do outside of making it clear he wants you gone in a permanent way. Reaction is the thief of dignity, so he saves any emotion for when he’s alone.

Self flagellation is his favorite dessert and he is convinced the bitter taste reflects his character somehow. In a way, it speaks to his lack of care and dignity as a clan leader; what fully aware man could let this happen?

For you, there aren’t any chances let alone forgiveness. You’ve stung his pride in multiple ways and only social norms keep you from dying in a duel over it. But as a shinigami—as a captain—he has avenues to vent his vindication until he feels the crime has been payed for. Too bad for you that pride is worth it’s weight in gold for a Kuchiki.

Sajin Komamura:

He runs away from the situation as soon as possible. Of course you cheated on him; how foolish to think anyone would not. At least he knows now and can get back to his normal.

Being alone isn’t all bad. There’s more time for his pets, his company, and his training. Comforting, familiar, he can pretend this is how it always was. Just him, alone.

His lack of self-esteem outweighs his want for justice. It was unfair to subject anyone to…himself, anyway. He can’t blame you for wanting someone untouched by the curse of the beast.

Kaname Tosen:

There’s more anger than even you expect. Injustice in anything, especially something so personal, enrages him. But he has the self control and sense to only send you packing.

Still, it’s all he can think about. Better to be consumed by this than the glacial pace his better world is taking. You’re one of the people holding that goal back, he’s sure. He insists on a talk that’s really just a long, painful lecture.

People like you, who disregard what’s right, don’t deserve forgiveness and the upset within him darkens. Maybe there is a way you can make things right. They’re so close to perfecting the Arrancar and he’d like to see how you’ve contributed once his eyes open, finally able to see.

Toshiro Hitsugaya:

There aren’t any dramatics or punishments or even words to give you other than ‘goodbye’. He sees the break and he cuts it cleanly. There’s no need for anything else.

Largely he copes by doing what he always does—working, training, meditating. There are a few sips of alcohol and punches to his pillow, but you’re no longer someone he cares about. The ice has holed over the spot you took just fine.

You don’t exist to him anymore. If you try to apologize, his eyes will pass over you and he’ll remind you once before ignoring you again: He’s a captain and he’s closed the conversation and now he’s getting back to work. Goodbye.

Kenpachi Zaraki:

So you’re fucking somebody. Is that a big deal or something? Should he be hurt? Because all he can muster is annoyance.

And then he thinks about it. He lets it sink in that somebody was touching you while you’re his. Kenpachi understands the want to play, but isn’t love when someone is the best in your heart and only them? Like, strength but more fucking confusing.

He’s still undecided if there’s anything to forgive. He tells you to give it another go with him in the mix and likes the feeling better than walking in uninvited. So maybe it was just play…and maybe he’s more rough with you two than intended. But he leaves more content than he came, so he figures everything’s fine. He can always kill somebody later, once he’s figured it out for good.

Mayuri Kurotsuchi:

You’re knocked unconscious and so is the person you were in bed with. That’s the last you see of them or the world beyond one lab room.

Congratulations, you are now confined to a pill that is swallowed by gigai after gigai designed in your likeness. Isn’t he generous, letting you take part in his research still? Don’t you feel honored to still feel any part of his touch as he takes you apart somehow more painfully than the time before?

Because it is just research. He didn’t care about you enough to still feel enraged about it. This is purely out of principle, a logical response to your base actions. Don’t worry, it’s just forever.

Jushiro Ukitake:

The discovery is emotional and he struggles keep his dignity, especially when a coughing fit starts soon after. He can’t even tell you off without sickness leaking into the moment.

The spiral begins. You’re awful one moment and justified the next. He’s the victim, then the one who should’ve known. There was no good reason and then he coughs again and there’s one.

He could forgive you if you’re genuine and forthright with a reason that isn’t the weight which holds him under blankets or pushes blood past his lips. As long as the illness isn’t what poisoned the relationship, he could forgive you.

[omniscientwreck]

Let me combine both of your favorite things! I would love a little thing about Caduceus (in his infinite wisdom and questionable intelligence) trying to give either Essek or Caleb relationship advice that may or may not be actually helpful. Those two wizards are probably too much in their own heads to see what's right in front of them and could use a little nudge. Just imagine both of them going to Caduceus for advice on how they're attracted to the other and Caduceus just sitting there trying to fight to urge to facepalm.

Hello! Thank you for combining my two favourite things into this fic that took way too long but I'm quite pleased with! I hope you enjoy!

In which Caduceus has three conversations with two wizards fighting against a force bigger than either of them.

----------

The first of these conversations Caduceus had was expected. Gardening alongside Essek, teaching him how to sow beauty where destruction had laid waste had been therapeutic for both of them. Caduceus had never given up on the war criminal. It’s difficult to feel no sympathy for someone whose story was written across their face in blank but pleasant stares and a mask of platitudes.

The state he’d been in when they met him at the outpost had filled Caduceus with determination. He’d been as close to a wreck as they’d ever seen him and now kneeling alongside him and looking over to see a small self-satisfied smile as he observed the work they’d done, it feels like they’ve done something right. This second chance had been well earned and he has faith that Essek will continue to earn it for the rest of his days.

This Essek is determined to right wrongs, and he’s started with the garden. He pays careful attention to the plants, always asking if he’s unsure about the compatibility of certain species, and making sure to put them exactly where they tell him. When they work past the point when the sun disappears behind emerald leaves he takes off the gloves Jester had made him and digs his hands into the ground. It seems to bring him peace, it’s good that he’s found any.

Most of the time when they work it’s silent, creases pressed into Essek’s forehead. He sweats through the layers that serve to keep him safe from the heat overhead and always has to be cajoled into taking breaks or drinking water. It reminds him a bit of Yasha.

On the third day, when he’d nearly gone faint Caduceus has to intervene, “You don’t need to hurt yourself to repent you know.”

Essek takes great care to swallow and not choke on the water he’d been sipping, bad timing. The mask comes up again, “I don’t know what you mean.” he states flatly. He knows that Caduceus is smarter than that and it shows.

“Hurting yourself doesn’t change anything. It’s the creation of beauty here that tips your scales, not the destruction of yourself.”

He nods slowly, indigo eyes downcast. “I suppose you’re correct. I have much to atone for Caduceus. There is much work to be done before I will deserve any of the kindness you foist upon me.”

“Hey now, I decide who deserves my kindness. We all do.”

Essek nods again, running a dirt stained hand through his silver hair. It leaves streaks of dirt, Caduceus says nothing.

“It’s difficult to be made aware of your stark moral failings, to learn what it means to truly care for someone again. It’s difficult to care more than you expect and to know what is enough, if anything is.”

His eyes flick behind Caduceus, where he can hear Caleb explaining something to Luc and he understands more than Essek probably wants him to. “You’ll find enough.” Essek looks at him, eyes full of a delicate hope, easily shattered, “He’ll tell you when it’s enough.”

His eyes widen just slightly and a deep blush spreads across his face alongside a smile so small it’s like he doesn’t want to let himself accept the barrage of feelings it holds back. “If.” His voice is small but the weight is heavy in the tone.

Caduceus reaches a hand to cover one of his, “When. Remember, I see things the rest of you don’t.”

Essek smiles wryly at that, voice full of mirth, “Of course Mr. Clay the ever observing.”

They go in for dinner and Essek speaks up a little more, he’s a little more alive. The change is small, but Caduceus notices.

----------

The second conversation is less expected, completely unexpected if he’s being honest. Caleb arrives at the doorstep of the grove one evening around 8 months after they’d last seen each other. “Hallo friend, I hope I am not intruding.”

His smile is easier now, though still restrained by sadness. “Not at all Mr. Caleb you are always welcome here. There should be left overs from dinner, fix yourself a plate.”

Caleb allows himself to be ushered in and fussed over. He tells a few stories of the trial but Caduceus tries to steer away from that particular vein of conversation. It’s raw and it doesn’t look like he’s fully healed. There’s still one catch somewhere that he needs to loose himself from before the smile will be easy and free, before he can walk away from his past and toward the future.

“I am going to Aeor next.”

Ah.

When Caduceus doesn’t say anything he continues, voice laced with trepidation, “I am going to ask Essek to join me.” he wants Caduceus to convince him of something.

“Well, two wizards is better than one.” He eyes Caleb knowingly and the wizard squirms a bit under his gaze.

“It is just, a little strange isn’t it? The directions we are led in.” He trails off again, maybe he’s hoping for wisdom. Caduceus decides he can probably dispense something.

“You’ve never seemed like someone who wanted much to be herded into decisions to me.”

“It’s been a journey.”

Caduceus clears his dish and sets down a teapot, “It’s a journey you’re still on. One that might not have a definite end. Is it worth it to deny yourself happiness because you’re worried about whether you deserve it?”

That caught him a little off guard, copper hair shook a bit as he’d clearly gone a little further than Caleb was expecting. He likes to talk in metaphors so that he can hide from truths later, or at least pretend everything can have multiple meanings. It’s time for Caduceus to stop letting him twist words around in that expansive brain of his until the original meaning is obscured by hypotheticals.

“I cannot tell you what’s right Caleb, but if you came here for a reasonable perspective listen to the one I’m giving you.” He pours the tea and offers honey, “You will never know if you don’t go and I know you better than you think. You don’t like loose ends, not as long as there’s something to learn.”

He nods, staring into tea, they’re so similar and so stubborn that Caduceus can feel the loving annoyance usually directed at his siblings creeping in. “Caleb, stop punishing yourself for something that wasn’t your fault in the first place.” Caleb nearly interrupts but Caduceus keeps barrelling through, “Self-flagellation won’t get you anywhere, you’ll just end up with regrets and what ifs. Go explore Aeor, forget everything else for a bit. Do that thing the two of you do where you’re finishing each other’s sentences and nobody knows why you’re bothering to speak out loud because it’s obvious you’re thinking the same things.”

Caleb’s smile is smaller now, but lighter. “Ja mein Freunde, I think you will. Thank you for tolerating questions I don’t know how to ask out loud.”

Caduceus smiles back, “I think this will be good. If you need anything while you’re there don’t hesitate to reach out. Stock up on healing, you’ll need it.”

Caleb laughs at that and spends the night, before heading to Zadash the next morning, undoubtedly to clear out Pumat’s stock of healing potions.

----------

The third time this conversation is had it’s his fault. He doesn’t mean to start it, but honestly the situation is getting ridiculous and the sibling feelings Caduceus has to both the wizards are firmly cemented.

They decide to get everyone together maybe a year after the last conversation. It’s his first time seeing any of them since then and as soon as they’re all in the same room it’s like no time has passed at all. Essek had come to get him while Caleb gathered the rest at Beau and Yasha’s home in Rexxentrum. Jester wraps him in a crushing and loving hug, Beau gives him a punch that’s soft for her but still stings, Yasha offers clippings of flowers immediately, and Fjord’s hug is warm. Veth’s family is here and she looks happier than he’s ever seen her. Caleb greets him with the warmth that’s always burned behind eyes that hold less and less sorrow every time he sees him. He hopes they’ll drop it all together one day.

When they pop back into existence from the way Caleb and Essek look at each other Caduceus expects something to happen. He doesn’t know what exactly but they hold each other’s eyes in a profound way. There’s gravity to them and everyone can feel it, he’s getting tired of watching them fight it.

It seems so simple even though he doesn’t feel that kind of pull, to see where this is going. It’s feels like the days before a big storm, when everyone knows what’s coming and it’s getting a little ridiculous that you’re still waiting for lightning to strike.

Everyone else drinks, they cook and eat and tell stories. Caleb and Essek sit apart but spend the entire time stealing glances across the table when they don’t think the other is looking. Nearly always they catch each other.

Yasha plays on the bone harp, she’s gotten very good and Jester swings Veth around into a dance. Kingsley, three sheets to the wind, grabs Beau and whips her into a reluctant dance and her initial protests eventually bubble into laughter. Caleb sits beside Caduceus and Jester has switched to twirling a flustered Essek across the floor of the livingroom. It often turns to dancing with these people and he loves that they love it so much.

“As I recall you’re an excellent dancer Mr. Caleb, go cut in.”

He shakes his head, “Ah- I couldn’t. Yasha is playing and I don’t think you’re much of a dancer.” He looks over with a quirk of a brow.

“I’m sure Jester won’t mind a break.”

He coughs at that, “I ah-”

Caduceus shakes his head, “No, talking is done, this is getting ridiculous.” He puts a hand square on his back and guides Caleb to stand, “You two will weave circles of metaphor around each other until one of you drops. Go Caleb, follow gravity.”

He seems to understand, seems to accept Cadcueus’ words and as soon as he stands to full height, Essek is watching over Jester’s shoulder. She, thankfully, understands the same way Caduceus does and even sends a wink as she loudly proclaims, “Oh my gosh Essek I’m so tired, I think Caleb needs someone to dance with, go to him.” She extends her arm, releasing him, and his levitation doesn’t allow him to stumble at the abrupt change in momentum.

Essek and Caleb meet and Essek steps to the ground gracefully as Caleb holds his hand out and pulls him in.

Nobody says anything for fear of spooking the delicate peace that settles over both of them as they gently turn, but Yasha slows the music she’s playing a bit and a quiet celebration is shared in the eyes of the rest of the Nein.

Caduceus breathes a sigh of relief and Jester sits herself beside him, bringing an overly sweet juice she’d found on her travels for him to try. She tells him stories into the night, and the wizards never let each other’s hands go.

[a-queer-seminarian]

Do you believe that God condemns anyone to Hell, or are we all going to wind up in Heaven?

Short answer? do i believe in hell? hell no!

[id: a cross stitch of the infamous "Hell Is Real" sign in Ohio, but with the word NOT added so it reads "Hell is NOT real" / end id. I sewed this cuz i have to drive past this dang sign every time i drive home and it makes me so cranky.]

___

Long answer?

The concept of hell has become less and less probable to me over the years. it seems like such a human solution to the problem of sin, not a Divine one.

This past year as i've studied the concept of prison abolition --

see Are Prisons Obsolete? by Angela Davis (free pdf online)

and, for a Christian view on how fundamentally messed up the US's prison system is, see Rethinking Incarceration by Dominique DuBois Giliard. (There are short vids and study guides for the latter, if reading isn't your thing / if you'd prefer those over paying for the book.)

-- and i find that many of the arguments against human prisons could also be argued against hell, which is really just The Ultimate Prison. Hell seems much like the punitive system we've got going on here, blown up to a supernatural size.

In Rethinking Incarceration, Giliard says that dealing with systemic problems and collective sin by choosing which individuals are The Problem and proceeding to Get Rid Of Them by chucking them in prison -- or hell -- is an unjust human solution, not a Divine solution.

He relates this to the harmful theology of penal substitution -- that the reason God became incarnate in the person of Jesus was simply to take the blame for all our wrongdoing -- to be the surrogate, or substitute, for the punishment all humanity would otherwise have to receive. But, Giliard writes,

Penal substitution is most problematic because it makes God’s response to sin too much like our own. It is a sort of recasting of God in our own image, as opposed to allowing the divinely inspired Scriptures to speak for God’s motives. Marshall also writes that “restoration, not retribution, is the hallmark of God’s justice and is God’s final word in history.”

God's justice is not that punitive kind of justice, but restorative. Jesus's whole life, and death, and resurrection together brings justice into our world because through all of it, the relationship between humanity and divinity was restored -- not because Jesus took the punishment that God would have slammed down on us.

{edit: I have a second post addressing how there are indeed parts of the Bible that depict God as punishing individuals or groups. Still, punishment is never the motive of Divine justice in scripture.)

If punishment is not God's justice, and neither is severed relationship, then hell, the ultimate punishment & place of isolation, is not God's justice.

Meanwhile, we can see the bad fruits of our punitive justice systems here on earth -- what happens when we accept that society is divided into "criminals" and "good people" or "citizens." As Giliard writes:

When we lose sight of the grace and mercy exemplified on the cross of Christ, people who have violated right relationship become irredeemable “criminals” to fear, avoid, and quarantine. When “criminals” are viewed as the social cancer infecting our communal health, safety, and thriving, we cease to see and affirm their humanity. Rather than fellow image bearers, we see “criminals” as hazardous elements contaminating our neighborhoods, and they thus must be purged by any means necessary. Michelle Alexander writes, “Criminals, it turns out, are the one social group in America we have permission to hate. In ‘colorblind’ America, criminals are the new whipping boys. They are entitled to no respect and little moral concern.” ...

I see similar things happen when people pretend they can guess who is going to hell, when they divide humanity into the heavenbound and the hellbound.

(I won't go into it here but it needs to be noted: think about who is seen as prison-bound, how our system sets up certain groups, such as Black and Latine persons & other persons of color, to end up in prison; and then think of who is often seen as hellbound, such as LGBTQA+ persons & non-Christians. Bigotry is tangled up in all this, which is what Giliard's book largely focuses on when it comes to mass incarceration.)

when we assume we know someone is doomed to hell, we give up on them. we cease to see them as one of us, and one of God's beloved children made in Their image. i'd rather assume there is no hell and find out i'm wrong about that later, than live as if i thought there were a hell if there isn't.

and of course, if we assume we ourselves are headed to hell -- particularly by fearmongerers who teach that being LGBTQA+, or Black, or disabled, or not Christian, any manner of things sends you there -- well. i think the bad fruits of that are quite clear, including how it leads us to despair, to fall into the pit of self-loathing. we either punish ourselves and isolate ourselves and harm ourselves by trying to fix what is not broken, or we say "fuck it, i'm going to hell anyway" and cut ourselves off from certain community.

_______

Prison is an easy solution, but not a fruitful one. Same with Hell. It's an easy fix, but not a viable one.

Throwing certain Bad Irredeemable Humans into the pit won't make the humans who are left fit for God's Kin(g)dom -- we all have work to do on ourselves and as a collective community.

God calls us to the much longer and more difficult work of repentance, reform, and rebuilding -- here and now and in the world to come.

Again I turn to Giliard:

Scripture consistently reveals that restoration, not punitive punishment, is at the heart of God’s justice. Biblical justice does include retribution, but not exclusively. Biblical justice cannot be solely defined by it. The more accurate description of biblical justice is restorative justice. Biblically, justice is a divine act of reparation where breached relationships are renewed and victims, offenders, and communities are restored. Justice, therefore, is about relationships and our conduct within them. Justice asks, How is righteousness embodied and exuded in how I live in relation to God, neighbor, and creation? In fact, Scripture could be read as the narrative of God’s restorative justice unfolding in the world.

No prisons. No hell. No punishment for punishment's sake -- but resources provided to make repentance and reconciliation possible. No severing of some humans from the rest of humanity, or from the Body of Christ -- but restored relationships.

_____

Will the restoration happen before heaven begins? Maybe. Then I'd say there is some sort of purgatory state in between (because purgatory isn't a place of punishment, but of, well, purging away all that is corrupt and harmful). But not a permanent hell. Not a place made for punishing or discarding.

______

because the belief and fear of hell has done so much damage, i refuse to hold to a belief in hell. and hey, if it turns out there is one, fine! it doesn't change how i should live my life:

in the end, whether hell is or is not real, i should live my life the same way -- loving God, neighbor and creation with all that i am, and doing my part to live into God's Kin(g)dom where the oppressed are lifted up, and the oppressors have their own violence exposed to them for the evil it is so that they may begin the hard work of reforming their ways.

____

For more excerpts from Rethinking Incarceration, see this Google Doc.

for more stuff about hell, see my hell tag over on my other blog.

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

RESISTERE TENTATIONEM: CAPITULUM II

TĒCTUS: Covered, concealed, hidden, having been covered, hidden or concealed

Pairings: Damian Priest x Reader

Warnings: +18, mature content

Editor: @thenightmareismyreality

Tag: @ziasaph , @theworldofotps , @alyhull , @bellalutionn , @aerynscrichton , @serpantscorpio8497 , @ava-valerie , @omegasshyghuleh6661ghosts , @squirreledelman , @cazxcx , @sophiewolfheart-blog , @bayley-no-friends , @waywardwrestlewritingwaif , @sassymox

Notes: I would like to thank @letsgivethisonemoreshot , for not only being my partner in crime with this trilogy but also being one of the best friends someone could ever have 😘 This is fully written in Damian’s POV. If you’d like to check out my previous works, you can find them on my Masterlist

Want to hear a joke that’s really in poor taste? The Mother Superior of the famous Mary Magdalene Convent (isn’t that ironic) is being accused of hosting ‘parties’ to the oh so loving convent donors. And you know who isn’t invited to those parties? Jesus Christ. Because the Devil sure loves to be a part of them! Drugs, orgies, alcohol, prostitution, even black masses... you name it! Everything that is unholy happens in the so-called house of holiness, and if that isn’t a bad taste joke, I don’t know what is.

So here I am now, driving towards the Devil’s den: the Mary Magdalene convent for three torturous days of interviews. Out of all of the reporters from The New York Times, of course I was the one who drew the short straw and got assigned this article. Some people see this as a career changing opportunity... a blessing, but me? I see it as a fucking curse! I don’t like religion, I don’t like churches, I don’t like priests and I sure as hell don’t like nuns! Anything that has the word “holy” in it, I prefer to be as far away as I possibly can from. But today was not my lucky day….no, today was the day that I was going to be tested. The only thing I’m hoping for is to not fail.

I knocked on the convent’s door and a young lady answered me.

“Hi, good morning. I’m Damian Priest, reporter from The New York Times and I’m here for an interview with” I looked down at my notepad “Mrs. Y/N L/N? Whom I believe is the Mother Superior”

The young girl only nodded once and motioned for me to follow her, without saying a word.

I followed her in, mesmerized by the size of the convent, the whole place was fancy as fuck on the inside. Art pieces from famous painters were displayed on the walls, modern furniture, dim lights that made the place look cozy and inviting. *What a scam* I thought to myself. The young lady in front of me suddenly stopped walking and pointed towards the door in front of her before turning around and leaving.

Presuming that it was the Mother Superior’s office, I knocked on the door twice before someone told me to come in. You see, when they told me I was going to be interviewing the Mother Superior of a convent, the last thing I expected was for her to not only be beautiful, but young (considering I was under the impression that women in that position were around sixty years old). She was breathtaking to say the least! Soft features, her skin had an angelic glow to it and there was something in her eyes that trapped you in them...something you could not turn your gaze away from no matter how bad you wanted to.

“Mr. Priest, please sit down” She smiled

I nodded and sat on the chair in front of her desk

“Thank you for taking some time out of your busy schedule to speak with me, Mother Y/L/N-“

“Please, call me Y/N” Her sultry voice spoke

“Y/N” I tested the word on my lips and it sounded oddly pleasant

She smiled softly and...fuck she’s gorgeous! Her beauty was a painful and constant reminder of what you couldn’t have, couldn’t touch, couldn’t-“

“Mr. Priest?” She said softly

“Damian”

“Damian, would you like something to drink? Coffee, water, juice, tea perhaps?”

“No, I’m good. Thank you” I answered, while grabbing my notepad and a pen out of my backpack. Clearing my throat, I said “Can we get started with the pre-interview?”

“Of course” She smiled widely and reached for a cigarette pack on top of the table, which made me raise an eyebrow

“We all have our dirty little secrets, don’t we, Damian?” She asked, licking the cigarette filter before sucking it

*Am I going crazy?* I thought to myself

“Damian? Your first question is?” She giggled

“Ummm” I cleared my throat once again “Y/N, recently the convent was involved in a huge scandal involving drugs, prostitution, orgies and black masses. Would you like to clarify why an institution that’s deeply connected to the church is in the middle of something so profane?”

She grinned “God is in the most profane things, Damian. After all, the sinners are the ones who need Him the most, aren’t they?”

“I’m not sure if I follow-”

“You see” She took a long drag on her cigarette and walked towards me “God is our Lord and savior. He forgives us from our sins, grants us forgiveness to our most foul actions” She sat down on the chair beside me “If you steal from someone and repent; He’ll forgive you, kill someone and repent; He’ll save you, cheat on your wife with the hot, young next door neighbor and repent; He’ll brush it underneath the carpet and pretend it never happened” She shrugged “God doesn’t judge, Damian. He only forgives” She leaned forward on the arm of the chair, until she was uncomfortably close to me “So if the big boss himself doesn't judge anyone, then why should I?”

“And what does judgment have to do with drugs, orgies and sin?”

She smiled “How can God forgive you if you don’t sin, Damian?”

“And how can God forgive his so-called followers who incite others to sin, Y/N?”

“Incite others to sin?” She chuckled “Are you talking about the allegations, the donors or yourself?” She smirked

………………………………………………….......................

Since we’re so far from town I was informed that I would have to spend the night at the convent. They showed me my bedroom and it looked pretty fancy. King size bed, Egyptian sheets, expensive furniture. Everything was oddly normal, except for the weird dream I recalled having. I was at the convent, lost, calling for help because I somehow ended up locked in here. I was inside what looked like a large basement, the room was only lit by red lights, a faint smell of leather took over my nostrils as I heard someone moaning softly in my ear…a woman. And the weirdest thing was that I could’ve sworn I felt her breath against my ear. Needless to say I woke up with my dick as hard as a rock and had to spend a solid thirty minutes trying to get rid of a very painful boner, which did not leave me no matter how many times I came. Half hard and inside a convent...yeah, I’m definitely going to Hell!

“How did you sleep, Damian?” Was the first thing I was asked when I walked into the Mother Superior’s office in the morning. Something in her voice told me she knew exactly what I had done underneath the shower.

“Good”

“I bet you woke up feeling much better after a good night of rest, right?” She smiled devilishly and I just nodded

“Would you mind if we took a tour through the convent at some point?” I asked, quickly changing subjects

“Of course not! Let me know when you want one”

I nodded and began to ask my questions

“So, why do so many men keep coming and going from this convent? Seems like the place men shouldn’t be”

“The only men who come to the convent, Damian, are maintenance, the donors for the ‘thank you parties’ we host and now you” She smiled

“How do you get so many people to keep donating?”

“We don’t oblige anyone to do anything. People are still kind enough to see the work we do for those in need and they get touched by it. So God is the one who inspires them to donate, Damian. Not me”

“I’ve noticed a lot of fancy things here. Shouldn’t the money be going to something else?”

“The ‘fancy’ things you see are gifts from the donors. Things they felt in their hearts they should give us freely. We don’t buy things for the convent, apart from food. That’s one of the rules”

“Speaking of rules” I looked at her “Why are you smoking? Isn't that not allowed?”

“We don’t have rules against smoking here, Damian. The choice to do it or not is personal, but there are no rules for it. It’s not forbidden or a sin. Now, if you think nuns shouldn’t smoke, I suggest you pay a visit to the convents in Rome and give them a piece of your mind about their choices regarding health”

I chuckled at her comeback

“Why so cynical about our good intentions?” She licked her lips

“Because you don’t have any” I spat

“We live for helping those in need, Damian” She pointed towards my visible bulge

“Helping those in need, huh? And what do you get out of it?”

She walked towards me “Satisfaction in its purest form” She lifted one hand up and caressed my lower belly over my shirt “It’s incredible how much providing relief to others can trigger the biggest pleasure in our bodies...to see their eyes semi-closed in...relief is so rewarding to me”

I cleared my throat and shifted uncomfortably. “And just how needy do these people have to be?” I was speaking in financial terms of course

“Very needy” Her hand toyed with my jeans button “Some even have trouble sleeping due to their neediness, so you can see how a helping hand goes so well in this case...even the right mouth, you know to profess the Lord’s word”

“And just how many of these ‘charitable acts’ have you been involved with?” I felt my cock grow harder and harder

“Directly? Only when things get too hard, Damian” Her hand brushed against my hard bulge “That’s when I offer my help, so things can stop getting so hard and painful”

I gulped as I tried to shift away from her touch “So what, you just have all these other poor girls do your dirty work for you?” I try to keep my serious composure

“I’m not afraid of getting dirty, Damian. The girls do what they can, what they’re instructed to...but sometimes things get so hard that I have no other option but intervene” She pulled the fly of my jeans down “Then, once the seed of evil is finally spilled, things can go back to being soft again” She leaned in closer “Would you like a demonstration, Damian? I’m sure you have some kind of evil inside you that needs to be released” She asked with a sinister smile reaching her hand into the waistband of my boxer briefs

“I’m just here for work, Y/N, I have nothing to donate”

“Don’t worry about it. My girls will not be involved in this...it will be our little secret”

“I would like the tour now, please”

She smirked “Of course” and stepped away from me “This way” She went out the door as if nothing had happened

“Psycho bitch” I whispered to myself, as I pulled the fly of my jeans up and tied my hoodie around my waist to cover up the boner.

“This way we have the nuns bedrooms” She pointed towards a hallway “Kitchen, restrooms, archives, laundry room, storage for cleaning supplies, pantry” She explained each room, until we were outside “The patio, garden; where we cultivate flowers, fruits and vegetables, garage and the chapel is this way”

She walked towards a medium sized chapel in the middle of the garden, it looked like a regular chapel on the inside. It had an altar with a bible on it, a pulpit, a big cross, devotional statues of catholic saints, wooden benches and a confessional. Candles were lit up all over the place and everything looked normal. Scarily normal, until I noticed a few nuns who were sat on one of the benches staring at me with a weird look on their eyes

“Why are they looking at me like that?” I asked Y/N

“Like what?”

“Like, with...” I trailed off

“With desire?” She whispered in a mocking tone

I looked down at her speechless

“One could say that you’re a little too obsessed with the lust theme, Damian” She smiled “It’s all you can think about ever since you got here, dear. You should be careful” She licked her lips and pulled me by my hand towards her office again.

………………………........................................................

Later that night while I was trying to get some sleep, I began to hear some mumbling. Muffled voices kept saying something unintelligible and filling up the bedroom with mainly female voices. But one of the voices sounded too familiar to me...

I stood up from the bed and began to search in the room where those voices could be coming from, and as I almost gave up, I found it. A small hole of the size of a coin, in the concrete wall in front of my bed. Scooting closer to the wall, I knelt down and peeked through the hole, but weirdly enough, the room was pitch black. The mumbling started again and they soon became moans. Above all the moaning voices, one stood out to me. It was Y/N’s voice, she moaned softly while she said something I couldn’t quite understand. Her voice was filled with lust, her moans were pornographic and I could swear she was moaning my name. It both frightened and turned me on, so I did what any wise man would do. I returned to the bed, laid down and jerked off before falling into a deep slumber.

..................................................................................

“Wake up” Someone softly whispered in my ear

I quickly opened my eyes and my heart was beating at a frantic pace due to the fright.

A young girl was sitting down on my bed “Please, follow me” was all she said before standing up and leaving my room

I was so confused that I didn’t even bother to grab a t-shirt, so I just followed her down the hall barefoot and only with a pair of sweatpants on. Looking outside the hallway windows, I could see that the sky was still dark, which could only mean it was the late hours of morning.

She took me inside the laundry room and pressed a button underneath the folding clothes table. A door opened and a red light lit up the dark wooden stairs. I continued to follow her down the stairs, and we began to walk down a long hallway that looked more like a basement. The whole place had only red lights as the lighting source, so it took my eyes a while to get used to it.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked, but only received silence as a response

We walked for what felt like ten minutes until we reached a black wooden door with an iron door knocker. She knocked on the door four times and left.

“Is this a prank?” I asked myself, after five minutes of standing there alone. Suddenly the door opened, but I couldn’t see anything other than darkness ahead

“Hello?” I called from the doorway, but no one answered back

The thing that made me such a great reporter was my utter curiosity, and even with all my senses screaming ‘don’t go in there!’ I decided to listen to my curious side instead, and went into the room. As soon as I stepped a foot inside, the door behind me closed shut.

The room was pitch black and I stumbled across a few items. I placed my hand on top of what felt like a table so I could try to guide myself through the room, at least back to the door again so I could leave. When suddenly I felt several pairs of soft hands on my torso pulling me back.

“What the fuck?” I gasped in shock

But before I could make a move, my wrists and ankles were tied to a wooden surface and a red light turned on in the room

Five nuns were in front of me, staring silently at my body

“Leave” Someone said from behind me, and the nuns obeyed and left

“I would be lying if I said you weren’t a beautiful sight” Y/N said, and and walked in front of me

“You psycho bitch” I growled and pulled at the restraints “Let me go!”

She smiled “Oh Damian...You don’t want that!” Her nails softly scratched my lower belly “And neither do I”

“You’re sick! Let me go, you fucking-“

“Na ah” She slapped me across the face “I’m done playing these pretending games” She lit up a cigarette “Pretend you didn’t jerk off to my moans, pretending you don’t want to fuck me...that gets tiring” She dipped her hand inside my sweatpants and found my semi hard bulge “You’ve wanted to fuck me ever since you laid eyes on me” She giggled and I licked my dry lips

“Those sinful, filthy, thoughts you’ve had, Damian” She closed her fist around my erection “You wanted to know what we do here, right? We purge that demon out of you” And scooted closer until her lips brushed against my own with every word she spoke

“We send him away, so he can’t bother you anymore” She freed my cock from my pants and began to pump her hand up and down “We release you from the seed of evil”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I panted

Y/N knelt down in front of me and darted her tongue out, licking my slit “Give me the seed of evil, Damian” and gave an open mouth kiss on my tip “Feed me with it” Licked the underside of my shaft “Release yourself from what’s been bothering you ever since you got here” Darting her tongue out “Use me to purify your soul” And opened her mouth wider.

At such a sight I had no other option but to buck my hips forward…

And chase for my cleansing

If you’re comfortable with it, please let me know your thoughts on this? Feedbacks are always appreciated 🥰😘

[cherrysha]

Blood

Tbh this is heavily inspired by this unreleased Hozier song ... Buut heres that Feitan fic ive been meaning to post. Issa lil short thing, but i hope ya’ll enjoy!

Summary: Feitan grapples with his feelings towards you.

Word count: 891

My requests are open atm

Warnings: Yandere Feitan, Kidnap, torture, abuse, Angst, mentions of death, starvation, cursing

Part 2 here

It’s a cold thing; his love. No more sweet than life, and just as bad as your luck.

He would never admit it, but you’d seen him torture others before. Watched his eyes as he pulled men’s teeth out of their skulls one by one. Seen him saw limbs off and drain men of their blood, hanging them like cattle while he laughed. He truly enjoyed their pain. No, he never tortured you.

And it’s living like a pet that brands the confirmation in your head. This man truly loved you. In his own fucked way.

Maybe he didn’t know what it was and just lashed out at you for making him feel weak. Maybe he knew but didn’t want it to be true. The answer wasn’t worth knowing.

He never tortured you. Never derived the same type of pleasure that he did with his actual victims from hurting you.

He came to realize that bruises faded too quickly on your skin, could never mark you as his for very long. Bones only broke if you tried to escape. Kicked you like he was disciplining an animal. Stopping only when he heard something crunch.

He did it a few weeks after he first got you, figuring it out fairly quickly. Feitan took his time and carved his name into the skin of your collarbone. If you were being honest, the cursive letters were actually quite elegant.

You never knew that someone could be so skilled with a knife.

He grimaced the whole time as you screamed for him to stop. Begged and pleaded and bartered with him, sobbing at the sting of his blade. He didn’t gag you though, it’s like he wanted to hear it. Punish himself for loving you this much; Enough to mark you as his permanently. Like your voice was confirmation that you’d never feel the same, you couldn’t ever love a monster like him back. No one could.

It’s starving for months on end, locked up, withering away to nothing as he grapples with his emotions.

It’s the anger in his eyes when he feeds you, staring a little too long at how small you’ve gotten.

It’s the pain you see reflected back when he silently undresses you and helps you wash yourself. Scowling at your protruding ribs.

Like he knows that his turmoil is manifesting itself physically in front of him, damning him even further.

He’s gone for a week and you barely survive. He thinks about leaving you something to eat, but then thinks better of it. Tries to convince himself that it didn’t matter if you died. Tries to envision your corpse waiting for him to come home, willing the emotion that rises like bile back down his throat.

And since there’s no fat left on you, your body starts slowly eating away at your muscles. You lose consciousness on the third day, going in and out of awareness until he finds you four days later and he’s sick with himself.

For the first time he’s truly disgusted by something he’s done.

“Wake up” he speaks softly to you, holding your body off the concrete floor. And god, the bruising on your side from laying there for so long. He doesn’t want to look at it.

“Y/n” he whispers, lips pressing against your temple. “Wake up for me.”

-

You rouse in his bed, freshly showered and clothed in one of his shirts. The feeling of something... soft underneath you is disorienting. Almost too foreign.

He’s sitting beside you, eyes dark like he hasn’t slept for days. At seeing you open your eyes he gets up and leaves without a word.

You’re too weak to think much of it. Too tired to very much care about him and his motives anymore. In truth the fight has been gone from you for months. You’re just so fucking exhausted, you close your eyes again. Just letting yourself rest for a little while longer.

But he’s back too soon, bringing a spoon to your lips as he feeds you congee. He doesn’t think you’re strong enough to eat anything more than that. You eat with tears in your eyes muttering thank you’s with nothing more than a whisper of voice that still barely resides in your throat. You’re not even strong enough to hold your head up, so he does it for you. And at first you think his grimace is meant for you. A weak little bird he has to feed by hand.

When you’ve eaten as much as you can handle, not even half the bowl he’s prepared for you, he stands up and takes it with him.

You’re eyes are half open as the feeling of fullness leaves you tired. Your body can’t stay awake, it’s energy is on digesting the food in your stomach.

“I’m sorry”

It’s a whisper you shouldn’t hear from a man who’s never apologized for being cruel his entire life. A man who’s embraced pain with his entire being. And it’s full of sadness, a longing for repentance lodged tight in his throat.

He knows what he is, and he can’t change that. But what you are, especially to him, he’s still trying to figure out.

With a heavy heart Feitan leaves once more, and accepts you for the one thing he’s certain that you are; A weakness.

[walkswithmyfather]

[This is a long article, but it is well worth reading. 🙂]

“Miracle Prayer - How to Ask God for a Miracle” by Whitney Hopler (Crosswalk)

“Since everything is possible for God, you can experience miracles in your life when you invite God to intervene – even in situations that seem impossible. But too often, people neglect to ask God for miracles in their lives, and end up settling for far less than God’s best for them. Use these prayers for miracles when you're ready to ask God to take over.

You can always approach God with confidence if you trust in His Son, Jesus Christ. So don’t hesitate to pray about anything, including miracles!

1. A Miracle Prayer for the Impossible

Father, I come to you today with faith so small I cannot see a way. I want to believe you are able to do more than I ever imagine. I want to walk by faith and not by sight. God, please bring a miracle into my life. I know that you can do the impossible in my life and I am trusting in your promises. Thank you for being a God who sees and hears my every need. In Jesus' name, amen.

2. A Thankful Miracle Prayer

Heavenly Father, Thank You for answering my prayers and performing miracles in my life every day. Just the fact that I woke up this morning and can take a breath is a gift from You. Help me to never take my health and loved ones for granted. Help me to always stand in faith and keep my focus on You when unexpected circumstances arise. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. ~ Leah DiPascal, Proverbs 31 Ministries

3. A Prayer to Trust When You Need a Miracle

“Dear God, thank you that you love me and want to keep me from depending on other things instead of you. Forgive me for when I’ve depended on my job and other people instead of you. Thank you that you haven’t forgotten me. Lord, the days ahead may be a little scary at times, but I understand now that the path to a miracle is through uncomfortable territory. I understand now that the source of a miracle will be unexpected, so I shouldn’t try to figure it out. I should just trust you. When you tell me what to do, and it doesn’t always make sense, I will still do what you want me to do. Help me to remember that you’re all I need and that where you guide, you’ll provide. I want to learn to trust you one day at a time. I want to go your way, not my way. I want to follow you, and I ask you to save me and come into my life. I claim your promise that if I trust you, you’ll meet my needs. I pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.” ~ Rick Warren

How to Pray and Ask God for a Miracle: Forget formulas and simply seek God’s presence. There are no magical formulas to use to conjure up miracles. Instead, miracles happen whenever you welcome God’s powerful presence into the situations you face. So don’t worry about trying to pray perfect prayers to convince God to do something miraculous in your life. Simply invite God to work in every situation in which you’re seeking miracles, and trust Him to do what’s best after you ask Him to intervene.

Consider what may be blocking miracles from happening in your life. Sometimes the particular miracle you’re seeking isn’t God’s will, sometimes spiritual warfare is occurring in your life and evil is blocking a miracle from happening, sometimes you have sin in your life (such as bitterness) that is preventing a miracle from taking place, and sometimes you don’t have enough faith to believe that God can really perform the miracle you’re hoping for. Pray about each of these potential blockages, and then relax, trusting that God has the situation covered and will answer your prayers with what’s best.

View miracles as expressions of how much God loves you. Recognize that every time God does choose to perform a miracle in your life, He is showing you His love for you in a tangible way. Be sure to thank God for His love whenever you experience a miracle.

Ask God to guide you to the truth about His will. If you’re not sure whether or not it’s God’s will to perform a particular miracle in your life, ask Him to make His will clear to you and tell Him that you want His will – not your own will – to be done.

Ask God to help your unbelief. Confess your doubts and lack of faith to God and ask Him to meet you where you are spiritually to help you believe that He is able to do what He says He will do in your life.

Obey God’s command to forgive so your prayers won’t be hindered. If you’re unwilling to forgive someone who has hurt or offended you, that refusal to forgive can hinder your prayers from being answered, because God sometimes waits until you obey His commands before answering prayers. Remember how much God has forgiven you for, and let that motivate you to obey His call to forgive others. Ask God to help you forgive; you can choose to forgive even when you don’t feel like it and rely on the strength God will give you during the forgiveness process.

Fight evil through spiritual warfare. If evil in the spiritual realm is hindering miracles from happening in your life, pray breakthrough prayers against evil to clear the way for more miracles to occur in your life. Start by confessing your sins that come to mind, and then repent of each one specifically. Next, ask (in Jesus’ name and through the power of His blood) for the Holy Spirit to help you and the people you’re praying for be victorious over all evil attacks. Ask God to protect you and those you’re praying for from future attacks by evil. Pray for any bondages that you (or the people you’re praying for) are under to be broken so you and they can experience the freedom God intends. As you’re praying, mention each issue specifically – from unhealthy addictions (such as to alcohol or pornography) and personal struggles (with jealousy, greed, gossip, lying, anger, anxiety, or any other issues) to negative words that others may have spoken over you and any involvement you may have had with ungodly spiritual forces (such as through the occult). Then ask God to bless you and those you’re praying for in the name of Jesus.

Praise God more through worship. You can experience more miracles when you spend more time praising God in worship, because worship ushers God’s power into your life in fresh ways and helps you discern His voice more clearly as He leads you toward miracles. Make a habit of praising God for who He is, during both good and bad times in your life.

Live a life that’s completely devoted to God. When you devote yourself to God completely – in every area of your life – you’ll notice more miracles happening in your life. Seek God’s guidance before making any major decision, and ask the Holy Spirit to change your own desires to reflect God’s desires for you. Live for God (rather than for yourself), and be willing to say “yes” whenever God calls you to help people in need.

Take the steps that God shows you. As you seek God’s will for your life, sometimes God will give you clear signs to follow, and sometimes He will simply give you a sense of peace. Humbly pray for wisdom every day and step out in faith whenever God shows you a way in which he wants you to put your faith into action. In the process, miracles can happen.

Don’t give up until God answers your prayers. Since God’s timing (which is perfect) often takes longer than the immediate results that human beings like to see, many people give up praying for miracles when they don’t see answers to their prayers right away. But God will always answer your prayers with either a “yes” or a “no” that’s clear; you just need to patiently wait until the right time for the answer to come. In the meantime, never give up praying and trusting God to do what’s best.”

[cherripeach]

Chapter 12

Little Match Maker

Summary: Your life motto is “I have the power of god and anime on my side, don’t mess with me,” and you stand by that with your life. No human, magician, or random creature could ever stop your firm belief in it.

However, getting transported to this world that seemed to turn your already bad luck worse was not what you wanted to be in your life story, but you made the most of it. Making friends, enemies, and disasters, you were in your prime in this world, and so you decided to help as many people as you could flourish, at least what you believed to be.

Chapter 1:9 Fre sha vaca do

Lunch Time Group Chat!

Warnings: Curse words, 

Words: 2.5k

Relationships: developing but future twstxreader

The glare from the upperclassman Prefect standing behind Ace onto Ace could slowly disintegrate you, which is why you are very appreciative it was not directed at you. 

Cater flashed some finger guns and greeted the new face, “Hey there, Riddle! You look super cute today, too!” He even added a wink for effect. 

Riddle, the new face at your table, scoffed and turned his head to face Cater only to tighten his lips, then, relax them into a sickly smile, “Keep talking like that, Cater, and it will be off with your head, too.” 

Cater held up his hands, “Come on now, please go easy on me.” 

Grim whispered to you, “This is the guy who put that weird collar on me during the Opening Ceremony!” 

“Looks like it,” was your only response, but you were more concerned with how someone so small could have so much anger. Closer to hell is what you always believed. 

Riddle moved his sight onto you and Grim before starting his lecture, “You two are the ones who caused a ruckus yesterday, aren’t you?” He pointed his finger at Grim, “Would you refrain from referring to someone’s unique magic as ‘a weird collar’? Good grief, the Headmaster is too soft. Letting someone off the hook for not following the rules once will break the foundation. All those who don’t follow the rules should just say goodbye to their heads.” He shook his head at the end, but he seemed to talk in a continuous sigh as if everything was bothering him.

You mimicked his sickly smile he demonstrated before and started, “I’m sorry, but please concern yourself with your dorm members and their activities before you come at me.” You closed your eyes and smiled tight for dramatic effect at the end.

Riddle’s mouth flew open as he began to mumble, “Wha..what ever could you mean?”

Ace and Deuce were in a silent conversation below the new Prefect while his eyes were still wide on you. 

“I just thought that bullying and threatening to use magic on campus would be against the rules,” You shrugged your shoulders while frowning. 

A little, ‘Hmph’, came out of Riddle before he decided, “I’ll deal with your issue later, but know that the Headmaster may have forgiven you, but the next time you break the rules, I won’t let you off so easily.” 

You lightly rolled your eyes and drank some of your drink because you knew that this boy would take a while for him to calm down about your past mishaps. 

“Um…” Ace butted into your conversation and your glare off with a question, “By the way, Prefect… Is it possible for you to remove this collar?” His hand directed itself to point at the thing around his neck. 

Riddle nodded his head and answered, “I was thinking of removing it once you’ve repented, but judging from what you said a while ago, it seems like you’ve yet to do so. I’ll have you walk around like that for a while longer.You don’t have to worry.” He shook his head with the brightest smile on his face, “The 1st years’ lessons are focused more on classroom learning rather than magic training. If you can’t use magic, then something like yesterday’s ruckus should be impossible. It’s perfect, isn’t it? Now, if you’re done eating, hurry and go to your next class. Rule #271 of the Queen of Hearts: ‘You must not spend more than 15 minutes sitting at the table after you’ve eaten.’You know what happens when you break the rules, don’t you?” His smile disappeared after that, which brought you much more comfort than it should have. 

Ace sighed in response and muttered, “Another weird rule..”

Riddle voiced out, “Answer me with ‘Yes, Prefect!’”

Ace and Deuce both replied, “Yes, Prefect!”

Riddle nodded and ended with, “Good.”

Trey, the savior of you all, cut into the conversation, “Now, now. I’ll see them off, don’t worry.” His normal smile was far stretched too wide for your liking. 

Riddle scoffed for the fiftieth time you have been in the same conversation as him, “You’re the Vice Prefect, so you better do your job properly. As stated by the Queen of Hearts’ Rule #339, ‘After-meal lemon tea should have nothing more or less than 2 sugar cubes in it.’ In order to protect that rule, I shall need to buy more sugar cubes at the school store. I’ll be taking my leave now.” The Prefect was then found muttering to himself and walking away.

“Wait, man!” You tried to get his attention and even stood up, but the small dude was already on his way, too concerned about whatever he was mumbling about. 

Cater shivered,  “Man, that was scary…” Cater turned to you once you sat down, winked, and whistled, “But since I was here, I protected the sweet, little, new prefect from getting hurt.”

You rolled your eyes and thanked in a bland tone with a smile, “You are so amazing, Cat! I can almost see how respected you are.” 

Grim pulled on your coat to get your attention, “He’s really lookin’ like a bad guy now, yanno? That Prefect.” 

“Hey, that’s very rude!” Deuce seemed to disagree, but considering that he was shaking five seconds ago, you would disagree with him. 

“As much as I would like to say, he isn’t a bad guy. He’s really disproving my point,” You claimed. 

Two students with red bands passed by your table muttering something about a rule, you assumed one of Riddle’s, and how there needs to be a bit more freedom. That was all you could take from it. 

Trey and Cater went silent at that and just stared into space. 

Trey sighed before addressing, “The Dorm Head managed to become the head one week after getting into the school. He’s a little bit sharp-tongued, but he’s only got the dorm’s best intentions in mind, so he’s not really a bad guy…”

Grim shook his head, “People who think like that don’t just put collars on others.”

Cater and Trey both laughed before exhaling at the same time. Neither one of them had a smile on their face. 

You brought up something that has been bothering you, “You are right, Grim. However, my main problem is that the tiny Prefect is creating a space of fear and not safety for these boys at this school. Safety and acceptance should always come first. Fear only destroys.” You place a hand on your chin, “That magic spell thing doesn’t seem to help either.”

Cater tilted his head at your, “Hm? You mean Riddle’s unique magic?”

“Unique… “ Deuce voiced, “Meaning, it’s only exclusive to the Prefect?”

Trey explained, “Putting aside all the other magic in the world, magic that can only be used by one person is called ‘unique magic’. I think you’ll learn about it in detail if you pay attention in class.”

You joined in, “Very unique!”

Deuce and Ace only groaned at your joke. 

Cater furthered Trey’s explanation, “Riddle’s unique magic is being able to seal off another person’s magic for a given time.It’s called…

Off with your head!” The Queen of Hearts flashed in your mind while Cater made a cutting motion across his neck. 

Grim shrieked, “Even the name’s scary!” And clutched your cloak in his paws.

Cater agreed, “It is, especially, since magicians having their magic sealed off is similar to having your head chopped off. That's why, as long as you’re in this dorm, it’s better not to go against Riddle.” He smiled warily at everyone. 

You clicked your teeth with your tongue. 

Trey disputed, “Conversely, as long as you follow the rules, he can be pretty gentle.”

“Oh yeah,” Ace blew on his bangs, “Am I gonna be chased out again if I don’t come back with a tart…?” He smiled showing his teeth, but his eyes were narrow along with his eyebrows being stuck close together. 

Cater frowned, “Pretty much, That’s what Rule #53 says, after all. Oh, and since Riddle was looking forward to getting the first slice of that whole cake, he probably won’t forgive you if you don’t bring the same thing,” He ruffled his own hair and apologized, “Sorry about that.”

Ace huffed, “You said you want to get along, but you won’t let me off that easily, huh?!”

“This and that are different,” Cater objected with a sway of his hands. 

Deuce pointed out, “Still, isn’t a whole tart a little bit expensive?”

Ace groaned and smacked the table with his head, “I don’t have that much money though…” He even lifted his head to gaze at you with puppy eyes. 

You gave him a look of disgust back. 

Cater suggested, “Then why not make some?Those tarts were all made by,” He paused for dramatic effect and pointed both his hands to the green haired upperclassman,  “Trey here, y’know?”

“Ooooh,” You just had to comment, “Cute and can cook. Def husband material.” You giggled at the end of your comment. You were insanely jealous of whoever married him. 

Trey flushed a little at your statement and stammered out, “Well, not.. not really…” He began playing with his glasses after; he even took them off to clean them. 

Ace gasped out, “You made all that Trey-senpai?! Amazing! It’s better than what they sell here!” He stood up and motioned to the room around him, pulling a couple of eyes to the table the group was at. 

Trey, glasses back on,  admitted with a cough, “Thanks. I think I have most of the tools and ingredients here… But I won’t simply offer you my services.” His smile returned as his eyebrows rose up. 

Ace broke out again, “Eh?! You’re gonna ask us to pay you!?” He, finally, decided to sit back down because now even more eyes were on him. 

Trey chuckled and shook his head, “There’s no way I can extort money from a junior, you know? The next tart that Riddle wants to eat requires a lot of chestnuts. Would you mind gathering some for me?” 

Ace pouted, “It’s troublesome either way…! So, how much do you need?” 

“It’s going to be used for the Unbirthday Party,” Trey stopped to think, “So about two to three hundred will do.” He put up three fingers on his hand. 

Grim and deuce spurted out and jumped up, “That much!?”

You tilted your head in thought, “But aren’t they real tiny, so I guess it makes some sense…”You squeezed your thumb and index finger together.

Trey answered, “I’ll have you help me with roasting them and peeling them.” As if any of you knew how to do that. 

Grim whined at you, “Can I go back home? Pleaseeeeee.”

Deuce joined in Grim’s whines directed at you, “Me too.”

You blurted out, “No.”

Ace accused the two, “You traitors!” 

“If anything, I can help out,” You volunteered like the amazing person you are, not because it kinda sounded like free food. Not at all, “I don’t know what to do tho, sorry. But besides, it's not like I have much to do or look forward to from that dorm.” 

Cater clapped his hands in glee, “Making them together and then eating them together will make it more delicious!” He closed his eyes and smiled wide, “It’s that making memories that count. It might even help you start a cooking blog for all we know.”

Trey put a finger up to his lip, “Keep this a secret from the Prefect, but freshly made marron tart is the best. The only ones who can eat it as soon as it gets out of the oven are the ones who made it, you know?”

Grim on the same page as you knew this was free food, “Hey, you boys! Get your rear in gear! We’re gonna go pick some chestnuts ‘til we drop!” Food was the prime motivator for your dorm. 

You smirked at the cat, “Matching vibes, are we?” Turning to your green haired upperclassman, you questioned, “Where would we find these anyway?” 

Trey informed the group, “There are a lot of chestnut trees right by the forest behind the school’s botanical garden.”

Ace gave Trey a thumbs up before turning back to you, Deuce, and Grim, “Alright! Then, let’s gather in front of the greenhouse after school.” 

“Go, go! We’re goin’ chestnut picking!” Grim cheered from the table.

“Wait, does anyone know where the garden even is?” You asked. 

All three of them watched you correcting you, “Shouldn’t you know, Supervisor?”

Frustrated beyond belief at these three you smacked each one on the head and told them to, “Screw off, and never beg for anything from me again!”

Lunch ended peacefully with shoves from both Deuce and Ace, and Grim making your hair even more like a yarn ball the cat would love. 

The rest of the day passed by quickly.

In your first class after lunch, which was astrology where two homerooms were combined for it, you blanked out half the lesson and almost fell asleep, but you can really remember seeing and speaking to the feminine boy from the purple house. He dropped his pencil on the ground, and when you tried to give him his pencil that fell off his desk, he snatched it from your hand and rolled his eyes at you. 

You replied to him, “Okay, who shit in your cornflakes today?” 

The boy turned back to you scoffed and cringed, “I’m sure it was from just seeing your face.” 

You just turned away and slapped your head with the textbook, which was not the best idea as it created a noise that alerted the professor who then stared at you with confusion on his face and because the textbook hurts. 

The feminine boy let out a giggle while you were being lectured by the professor, and you were gonna hold that accomplishment high. 

Your last class of the day which was just an introduction of the school and its history had you stuck next to the tall green haired male from P.E. from another class. He never introduced himself, but whenever he would ask questions he would shoot his hand straight up and practically yell in your ear as if the professor was deaf. 

You basically lost your hearing in your right ear that day. The ear will always live with great achievements. 

He also scolded you whenever you said, “Complete bullshit.” to Ace.

Something about how such language should never come out of anyone who goes to the same school as his ‘young master’ does. Now that was ‘complete bullshit.’

The three of your friends laughed at you the rest of the class for having someone your age scold you like a mother would. 

Classes finally ended, and the three of you made your way to the Hearts dorm to drop your bags off.

You were just happy to receive some food for free.

------

Life has been a disaster! I’m not dead tho. 

[krappykawa]

ಌ i mildly like you more than like (p.2)

— in which an incessant fan girl, a kiss, and a little bit of denial makes oikawa tooru realize he might mildly like you more than like

description. you’ve been in love with oikawa tooru for longer than you can remember. having known him for the better part of nearly 11 years, you’ve come to accept that you’ll never be more than a best friend to him. but with the help of a few irritatingly persistent fangirls and a kiss that was only meant to drive them away, a tale of unrequited love might just prove to be something more. 

warnings. language

word count. 3.6k

oikawa x f!reader, childhood best friends to lovers, fluff, some angst

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

It’s just really bad timing for Oikawa that the day after is the day in which the Aoba Johsai third-years planned their monthly hangout. 

He’s rocking back and forth in front of your house, trying not to let the weird feeling in his stomach eat at him. He hasn’t seen you since you both walked home the day before when he was secretly cursing the sun because “did you always look like you were heaven-sent or was it just the lighting?”

In his head, he’s trying to convince himself that he didn’t avoid you this morning - that the reason he didn’t spend the day over at your house before your hangout like he’d always done was because he would see you later anyways. He tries to say that it's because he just needed some time to recharge, which isn’t necessarily false, but it’s a half-truth all the same. 

“Hey.” His head turns to where you’re standing in your doorway, already smiling up at him. “Where’s that outfit from? Iwaizumi’s closet?”

Oikawa looks down at himself. He’s wearing one of the hoodies he did indeed steal from Iwaizumi a few months ago, and he had also opted for a pair of grey sweats that he haphazardly picked out without notice. He did have to admit that it was a very Iwaizumi-style outfit.  “Only the sweatshirt, Y/N-chan. Don’t tease,” he says with his usual chipper voice. 

You shake your head at him, and the small movement draws his gaze to the small alien earrings that dangle from your ears. He wants to ask if you could help him find a plush-sized version of that alien to add to his own plushie collection (that only you and Iwaizumi know about), but by the time he’s opened his mouth, you’re already turning to lock your door. 

You hand him a piece of candy that you had in your pocket and you both begin to walk in a slightly off silence to Iwaizumi’s house. There isn’t necessarily anything uncomfortable about it, but Oikawa’s blinking to himself because you don’t seem to be fazed in the slightest about the happenings of yesterday. Best friends must kiss their best friends all the time don’t they? That’s why you don’t seem to care. He doesn’t care. No, he doesn’t. 

Oikawa practically breathes a sigh of relief when Iwaizumi joins you two. He knows that if you were alone for even a moment longer, you would’ve picked up on his odd mood and asked him what was wrong. He wouldn’t have an answer to that. Not that there was anything wrong. There wasn’t.

Once Iwaizumi joins you two, Oikawa doesn’t have much time to be within his own thoughts because he and Iwaizumi quickly engage in a friendly teasing argument about the day before. You simply walk between them, piping up at times to tease Oikawa for some reason or another. It feels entirely too normal, and Oikawa isn’t quite sure how to feel about that.

“My legs are killing me,” you say after walking for about two miles, mostly due to the fact that Oikawa and Iwaizumi were having another back-and-forth that was slowly getting out of hand. “Did Matsukawa and Hanamaki really have to choose a place so far away? Actually, scratch that. Did you two really have to make us walk?”

“Suck it up, my darling Y/N-chan, we’ve only got a few more blocks to go,” Oikawa says. He notices a soft redness on your cheeks. 

“You’re one to talk,” you mumble. “You were complaining just ten minutes ago,” 

“I’m allowed to be whiny.”

“No, you aren’t.”

“But Y/N-channn.” He makes sure to really draw out the latter half chan, his grin widening when he sees a slight pout form at your lips. 

“Don’t Y/N-chan me when you’re being a baby.”

“You can’t call me a baby! I’m practically a tree next to you!”

You cross your arms, and look defiantly up at him. “I’ll call you a baby if I want to.”

“I’m gonna throw you over my shoulder if you don’t take that back.”

“God you two are insufferable,” Iwaizumi mumbles from besides you two, but the small smile on his face betrays his attempt at strictness. You playfully roll your eyes at him and Oikawa is unfazed, much too used to Iwaizumi’s gruff exterior by now. “I’ll just carry her if it makes you two shut the hell up.”

At the same time that you shout “Really?”, Oikawa shouts “No!”

Both you and Iwaizumi turn to stare at Oikawa, who seems to lose his composure just ever so slightly. 

“Shittykawa, for the last time. I’m not going to carry you.”

“That’s not what I meant, Iwa-chan.”

“Then what is it?”

“I’ll carry Y/N-chan.”

Iwaizumi’s gaze focuses just a beat too long on Oikawa, and it’s all Oikawa needs to see to know that Iwaizumi will probably be watching him a little extra tonight. He always does that when he feels like there’s something off. 

Whatever he must’ve seen on Oikawa’s face was either satisfactory or something that puzzled him because he repents instead of interrogating him. “Fine. Carry her if it’ll heal your ego or whatever. Just don’t do shit to your knee or I’ll actually murder you.”

“Guys, it’s fine. I was only joking.” You pipe up, clearly confused at the interaction between Oikawa and Iwaizumi just now. Oikawa can feel something else in your gaze too, but he’s afraid he won’t be able to look away if he attempts to analyze what it means. 

Something in Oikawa deflates a little at your words though. You seemed all but ready to let yourself be carried by Iwaizumi, but the moment he suggested doing the exact same thing, you shied away. “Well the offer still stands,” he says, despite the minor sting of rejection. “Besides it’ll make up for the practice I was forced to miss yesterday.” 

“Really, it’s fine. I don’t want you to hurt your knee,” you reply. This time, he can practically hear the odd something in your voice. The fact that he can’t pinpoint what it is irritates him to no end. 

The rest of the walk to the karaoke place goes relatively quiet. Quiet in the sense that Iwaizumi and Oikawa don’t squabble, but rather all three of you have small minor conversations about anything and everything. 

Oikawa’s mood turns mildly sour when you tell him and Iwaizumi that by some unfortunate luck, you’d crossed paths with your ex-boyfriend while on a walk that morning. He wishes that he would’ve just sucked up his thoughts and just spent the day at your house so that maybe by some weird string of fate, you wouldn’t have seen the tall, brown-haired baseball captain while on a walk. Oikawa didn’t realize he was scowling until you poked a finger at his cheek and told him that he “had to stop thinking about Kageyama and Ushijima because they would only cause premature wrinkles and ruin his pretty face.” He doesn’t tell you that his two most bitter rivals were far, far away from the forefront of his mind at the moment. 

“Took you three long enough,” Hanamaki practically yells when he spots you three from across the street. 

You beam and yell, “Don’t yell, Maki. It’s unbecoming!”

“And you call me a hypocrite, Y/N-chan?” Oikawa nudges your side, smiling down at you. 

The feeling he gets when you stick your tongue out at him and dash across the street is familiar, which he’s thankful for. It’s the sort of feeling that makes him smile softly at your retreating figure, a feeling that he’s felt toward you for as long as he can remember. He’s happy for the familiarity of it because it gives him a sense of normalcy that perhaps the thoughts he’s been feeling are familiar thoughts that were probably just jumbled up because of his fatigue. 

That’s what he keeps telling himself anyway. 

Oikawa’s about to run after you when Iwaizumi asks a question from beside him. “Did something happen between you two?”

Oikawa turns to look at his best friend then back to where you’re standing with Hanamaki and Matsukawa. We kissed, he thinks. But Oikawa knows that telling Iwaizumi that might be more trouble than he’s looking for right now because he’ll surely start asking questions that Oikawa can’t even begin to find an answer for. 

“No,” he tries to say in his most convincing voice. “Why?”

Iwaizumi shakes his head. “Y/N just seems sadder today.” His words almost make Oikawa stop midway on the street. He knows that Iwaizumi notices, but instead of calling him out on it, Iwaizumi says, “Probably just because she saw Kaoru-san this morning.”

That’s when Oikawa realizes that the odd tone he heard in your voice earlier was sadness. He isn’t sure why exactly that was and why it was directed towards him. He can’t remember you saying anything out of the ordinary. All your texts to him that morning were of nothing new, and nothing seemed wrong the day before (except for the way that you were equally as quiet as he was during the walk home after your kiss). Surely, it wasn’t because of the stupid baseball player that barely lit a flame next to you.

He doesn’t know what he hates more - the possibility that it was him himself that was the cause of your sadness, or the possibility that you were sad after seeing your ex-boyfriend, which could possibly mean that you might still harbor feelings for him (which, Oikawa decides is something he never wants to think about again because he’s always disliked Kaoru, so he really can’t see why you’d still have feelings for him). Surely, you weren’t still hung up on a boy that you had broken up with? 

That’s what break-ups are for. They’re for when you no longer have love for the other person, or with Oikawa’s history of dating, when you find that the other person’s demanding schedule is something that becomes a wedge. 

It’s odd, but for the first time in their long friendship, Oikawa wants to punch Iwaizumi for making him think so indepthly about it. Instead, he walks quicker. He makes sure that his signature chipper smile is on his lips when he greets Hanamaki and Matsukawa. 

“What do you two have lined up for us today then?”

“We’re hoping that you’ll embarrass yourself with some karaoke, and then we figured we’d look through some of the shops around here. That may or not be because my mother’s birthday is in two days and I have yet to get a present.”

You shake your head at the taller male. “Makki!”

“Don’t Makki me! It’s Mattsun’s fault anyway. Don’t ask me why. It’s just always Mattsun’s fault.”

Matsukawa looks anything but pleased. “One more word out of you and I’m leaving your ass here and you’ll have to ride home by yourself.”

The only response Hanamaki has is a scowl in Matsukawa’s direction. 

By the time you five are seated in a booth, Oikawa feels the most normal he’s felt all day. Hanamaki managed to offend an older lady walking down the street by saying something loudly obnoxious, Iwaizumi yelled at Hanamaki for being so stupid, Matsukawa almost choked on a mint he had taken fron the front desk, and you had accidentally almost broken a vase because you pushed Oikawa a little too roughly. Oikawa would say that all that was pretty normal. 

It’s also normal for Hanamaki to suggest that you and Oikawa sing a duet because despite it all, you two have incredible voices. He used to try and convince Iwaizumi too, but when almost all his pleas were met with rejections, he’d eventually stopped asking. 

But Oikawa doesn’t feel any sort of normalcy when he smiles to himself as you shake your head and begrudgingly accept. He doesn’t feel any sense of normalcy as you take his hand and tug him upwards to the karaoke machine. Instead of the normal carefree environment he usually feels, he’s feeling something brew inside of him because everything he’d just described as feeling abnormal, used to be perfectly normal. 

It irritates him to no end because his feelings don’t feel any different, but at the same time his feelings feel so incredibly foreign that he wishes he could just pause time and just sit down to figure out whatever the hell is going on. 

But he doesn’t have the ability to pause time, and he doesn’t have any time to figure out anything before you start to sing and he feels his breath catch the way it always does. 

He’s always told you that your voice was angelic. He’s been saying it ever since he came over to play at your house when he was 10 years old and he overheard you singing as you doodled on a piece of paper. He’s told you all of this before - how beautiful your voice is, how you’re wasting your talent by not letting others see it. He even remembers begging you to sing him to sleep when he would sleep over at your house after particularly crushing losses. 

What he doesn’t understand is why he’s so very aware of the fact that your voice sounds like it descends from above. Before, the feeling was there like a natural instinct to hearing your singing voice. But now, he’s so very aware. 

It’s because of this thought process that he almost misses his cue to enter. Luckily, he feels a foot kick at his ankle just before he embarasses himself. Oikawa has a gut feeling that it was Iwaizumi who did so. 

Once he starts singing the lyrics, Oikawa has the thought to just murder Hanamaki on the spot because of all the duets he could’ve chosen, he had to choose a love song. 

He keeps his eyes glued to the words flashing on the screen despite having memorized every lyric of this song after singing it multiple times while taking a shower. He tries to ignore your voice and instead focus on the teasing remarks slipping from his teammates’ lips. For a second, he’s successful in doing so. 

But luck doesn’t seem to be on his side tonight. Eventually, you hit a very impressive high note and Oikawa thinks he might just lose his mind because he hears you laugh afterwards and say a breathy “sorry,” that’s so mesmerizing that he turns his head. You’re already smiling up at him in that way that you always smile at him and he can’t help but feel his own lips tug widely upwards. He thinks he imagines how your own smile widens after that. 

After you two finish your duet and Hanamaki is up and belting out all the wrong notes, you nudge Oikawa. “A little off considering how good I can hear you singing it in the shower.”

“Keep your voice down, Y/N-chan. One word out of you and I won’t speak to you for a week,” Oikawa says with the familiar grin on his face. 

“You wouldn’t dare,” you dramatically gasp, which momentarily catches Iwaizumi’s attention. He turns away once he realizes that you were looking at Oikawa and nothing of importance. 

“Oh, but I would.”

“You wouldn’t last a day.”

“Yes I would.”

“You used to cry whenever Iwaizumi or I went on vacation. You’d come whining to me before the day is even over.”

He’s about to retort a reply, but Hanamaki’s return to the table catches both of your attention. “Man, my voice sounds like sandpaper.”

“More like a dying baby bird but I’ll let you think what you want,” Matsukawa snorts from his seat. 

“Mattsun, what did the baby bird ever do to you?”

After a few more rounds of karaoke (in which Matsukawa and Hanamaki serenaded the other and Iwaizumi agreed to sing for the first time in months) you all find yourself at the head of a row of shops that go down a few miles. 

“Do you think my mom would like a necklace? Maybe I’ll buy her a book.”

“Hanamaki, you are aware that we aren’t acquainted with your mother right?”

“Matsukawa is! Mattsun, help me out here.”

“Makki, she’s your mom man.”

After a few more rounds of bickering, Hanamaki and Matsukawa finally decide to just head into the bookstore. You, Iwaizumi, and Oikawa decide to visit the small trinkets store with the twinkling light up sign. 

Oikawa gets the urge to rip his hair out once he sees who the person behind the cashier is. 

“Kaoru! I didn’t know you worked here,” you say entirely too nicely. Oikawa hates how perfect you look at the moment because he’s almost certain that your ex-boyfriend notices it too.

“Ease up, Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi says from beside him. 

“I am at ease,” he says, but he can’t even convince himself. 

Iwaizumi snorts and shakes his head. “Sure you are. Unclench your jaw and stop looking at him like you want to stuff him in a bag first, then I’ll believe you.”

Oikawa turns his head to look back to where you’re leaning against the counter. He doesn't miss the way that Kaoru purposefully left his hand idly on the counter so that his fingers come just short of touching your arm. Oikawa feels his annoyance spike when he hears the man in question laugh at something you say. 

After glaring what felt like forever, Oikawa turns back to Iwaizumi, letting out an annoyed huff. “I just don’t understand why he of all people had to be the one working here.”

“The world doesn’t cater to whether or not the person working at a store is going to make you jealous,” Iwaizumi says as he shuffles through a rack of plain-looking hoodies. 

“I’m not jealous!”

Iwaizumi turns to Oikawa and deadpans at him, raising a brow as a challenge. 

Oikawa looks away from his gaze and crosses his arms. “I’m not,” he grumbles. “I just don’t particularly like his face or his voice or his stupid personality or really anything about him because really what’s there to like? It’s nothing new.”

Oikawa expects a retort or an insult, but to his surprise, Iwaizumi lets out a laugh. 

“What’s so funny?”

Iwaizumi continues to shake his head as he moves to walk down another aisle. Oikawa follows aimlessly behind him. “You’re so, so stupid. I cannot believe you’re one of the best volleyball players I know. There’s no way you’re the same person I play with on the court.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I think I’ll let you figure that out for yourself.”

Before Oikawa can question him any further, he hears your voice from somewhere across the shop. You pop your head out from behind a shelf and say, “Hey ‘Kawa! Come here for a second.”

Oikawa looks to Iwaizumi. 

“Go ahead. I’m gonna look through their collection of posters and see if I can find one for the monster movie I watched yesterday.”

When Oikawa gets to the shelf that you’re staring intently at, he’s mildly surprised. You’re crouched down and scrutinizing a row of alien plushies. More specifically, they’re the very same alien plushies that he had hoped to ask you about when he first picked you up from your house.

You grin up at him excitedly and Oikawa wishes he could take a picture. “Look what I found!” Oikawa walks closer and crouches down besides you. You turn to look at him again. “I noticed that you were staring at my earrings a lot tonight, and I know that you absolutely cherish your little alien collection, so I asked Kaoru if they had them as plushies and they did!”

Oikawa feels a warmness bloom in his chest at your excitement. He doesn’t tell you that he wasn’t staring at your earrings. He doesn’t tell you that he was always staring at you.

“You did that for me?”

“Of course I did. We always do things like this, don’t get all sappy now.”

He has the sudden thought to just pull you upwards and crash his lips into yours. He knows that he can’t necessarily do so, so he just stares at you instead and contemplates to himself if it really would be so bad if he just kissed you again right then and there. 

“Is everything okay? Do you not like it? We don’t have to get it if you don’t like it.” The smile falls off your lips, and he can hear that familiar sadness in your voice once again. It sends a spark of pain through him. 

“No!” He yells a little too loudly. “No, of course I love it. Thank you.” He reaches out and clasps his hand over your smaller one. 

You roll your eyes at him, but don’t make any move to push his hand away. “You’re blushing! Don’t blush! You might make me think that you’re in love with me, and we can’t have that can we?”

Oikawa tries to shake his head. He doesn’t point out that there’s a little dusting of red on your own cheeks. 

He only speaks again after you pick an alien off of the shelf and stand up. He stands with you. “I only very mildly like you more than like. None of that in love stuff, don’t worry.”

You elbow him and shoot him a glance. “Don’t steal my lines, Oikawa.” 

You smile as you say it. A simple smile. A smile that has practically been ingrained into his head after so many years of seeing that same smile thrown in his direction. But what scares him is the way that it sends a pleasant feeling to his stomach. 

It’s then that Oikawa realizes that there is indeed something that’s wrong - that there’s something very, very wrong. Something is very wrong because everything he’s feeling at the moment makes him think that maybe, just maybe, he’s the biggest liar in the world for claiming that he wasn’t in love with you.

i know that some people won’t be able to relate to the “angelic singing” part (i most definitely don’t have an angelic singing voice either lol don’t worry) but lets all just pretend that we can all sing ok thanku