#[ girl I feel old wtf ]
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stuckinapril · 1 day ago
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Male patients who will literally call their wives to verify things like their med list grate on my nerves SO much……. Are we 12
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brofightiscancelled · 3 months ago
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my reality hc for why totty's eyes look bigger than everyone's else is that he tapes his eyelids which makes his eyes look bigger
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reeama-the-mage · 4 months ago
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The difference between the tragedy of Edwin's and Charles' lives and deaths and what makes Charles' much more compelling to me is that Edwin never had anyone he could trust: he grew up with distant parents who i imagine he saw rarely and could not confide in, then he went to school and was immediately recognized as other in a way he had not fully realized of himself yet and was killed for it, and then comes hell and well who can u trust in hell? Certainly not the things that chase you until your legs ache, and even if your compatriots in the whole ordeal are as innocent as you, trapped in the same technicality, what is the good of trusting them, when they are just as helpless as you?
But Charles? Everyone Charles was supposed to trust betrayed him. His parents were close to him, atleast somewhat, atleast his father was around enough to get sick of hearing owner of a lonely heart, and his mother was around enough to watch his father beat him and be silently horrified and ultimately not do anything about it, maybe she stepped in once and we just never saw it, but I wouldn't bet on it, Charles' mom is 'quiet' that's her defining feature to Charles not protective or gentle just 'quiet', then Charles gets to school and he is popular he has friends! He has people who care for him (or should maybe, as long as he's good at sports like he's needed to be) and then he stands up for one person, because he has always wanted to be good and maybe he trusts himself to do it just this once and his friends kill him and his own actions signed the death warrant and he cannot even trust himself to do the right thing properly (it never got better and then you died)
And maybe, maybe Edwin does it too, with less intention to hurt, and with less knowledge but Charles and Edwin trust eachother maybe more than anything (maybe Charles would sooner slip away from earth's gravity than stop putting his trust in Edwin who he thinks is good and smart and brills and aces) and maybe Edwin still looks at Charles trying to protect him after Charles has had maybe the worst week of his existence and says "that was a bit...... extreme" and Edwin still promises Charles can tell him anything while hiding himself in a way that makes Charles feel untrustworthy
So yeah I'll never stop thinking about the tragedy of Charles Rowland actually 👍 think about him with me
#Charles Rowland#Edwin payne#dead boy detectives#Wrotong this down made me want to delve even further into characters and their relationships w/ trust btw#Crystals is also really interesting to me because she is looking for people she trusts and she keeps coming up empty slowly coming to the#relaization that she cant even trust herself and she'll never b the same girl but theres old roads that need to be repaved#or atleast properly gated off and she nearly loses the trust she has built up over the course of the show because it is not enough to trust#them with her and she cant trust herself with them because she has finally friends she doesnt want to hurt for amusement and she is sick w/#the idea it wont last#Niko lost two of the biggest ppl she could trust in one fell sweep as one died and the other just wanted her to not be sad anymore and it#broke her in a way and shes having to build new bridges to find herself again#The Cat King trusts people enough to let them in his bed and to charm them but not enough for them to see anything deeper to see who he#really is because he is A Cat King (TM ;) ) and he should be Better than That and hes just as petty and mortal as anyone else#Monty well maybe this is a hot take but monty trusts himself and not much else he is a charmer and confident in his feelings for Edwin he i#sure of his ability to deceive and Charm the ghost boys and i think he is sure when he brings Charles his bag#Maybe u could say Monty trusts Esther but i dont thinks thats true when he realizes the effects Esthers revenge will have he tries 2 get th#ghost buys tf outand even earlier he crows when Esther is trying to “threaten some kids#monty“ and then obvi already mentioned getting charles his bag he doesnt so much trust esther as he is chained to her which kinda makes me#wonder how old is monty? Like when made into a human he is made vaguely teenager aged but like he is the familiar of a very old witch is he#the last in a long series of familiars or is he near as old as Esther herself maybe he was picked up some years ago but long after Esther#was already a well established witch he could literally be any age wtf
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I am exhausted, good heavens.
#hey watch this neat trick I can do [cries]#love that for me#BUT#BUT- the actual EFFORT I put these days to not make a suicide jokes is *chefs kiss* phenomenal#actively shitting bricks as I physically have to stop myself from saying I want a car to hit me for the 50th time that day#I am not progressing any more than I am downgressing or whatever the opposite word is. but girlies#and boysies and peepsies#my lipgloss is popping and my eyebags are gucci- and so I shall prevail#MAN this tiredness is BONE DEEP man- it's like it's engraved into my goddamn clavicles#sorry that was like the only bone name I could remember- I don't even know what a clavicle is#anyways- I need to fall asleep forever and never wake up. But not in like a dying way#I just need to stop waking up tired and being tired and going to sleep tired and living tired like GIRL#WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN SLEEP STOPS SLEEPING#I JUST SLEPT 10 HOURS HOW ARE YOU STILL TIRED#I am so tired that i stopped liking shit- like that SUCKS my dudes#I sometimes Don't Like art now and that is WILD to me because that was lowkey the One Thing that got me going#I used to actually LIKE english class! and reading Shakespear and shit!!!! and history class!! Now I don't!! Where did the spark go??????#Now everything feels like a chooooooore and it sucks major dick#and my graaaades are slipping because I stopped giving a damn but I NEED. TO. GIVE. A. DAMN#because those are like highkey lowkey and every-other-key my grades and I need them to go into uni so I don't die <333#I need to spite little mini me who said I wasn't going to live past 13 because BITCH- guess how old I'm turning next week????????#THAT'S RIGHT- 17 YEARS OLD- FUCK YEAH BABY I'M STILL NOT DEAD#SUCK MY BIG ASS SHLONG MINI-ME#and then I have a big biology exam the day after so- funnnnn!!#anywho- should I tag this as vent? this probably counts as vent right? like among us? impostor and shit?#sorry I think my brain is actively rotting out of my ears right now#vent post#personal vent#tw vent#tw sui talk
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phoenixcatch7 · 7 months ago
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Sephiroth is making my brain FIZZ this is so fun.
First of all, his voice actor in advent children???
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The new remake one is excellent but just doesn't capture that same level of terrifying cultured menace. The smug evenness and it's DEEP wow yeah. So smooth. High key petrifying I don't know who he is but he did an outstanding job. That bit where he asks cloud to 'give him the pleasure of taking it away?' like the way his voice lilted up in casual question like good GRIEF that was hot.
Anyway I have another hc: sephiroth would have made an EXCELLENT scientist like his parents, he's certainly got the intellect and hunger for knowledge, not to mention his ability to do research for days on end XD. Supernova actually using astrophysics equations is absolutely fantastic and makes me think that's what he'd major in.
By that logic, he'd want to be in rocket town with the rocket, and he'd most definitely want to go to space himself if it was the last thing he did (ha).
Do you think he'd tie his hair back like his mum?
Anyway I imagine if he hadn't been a soldier and instead been free to choose his own path he'd have been right there the whole time being a child genius and getting into fights with cid about who gets to be the pilot (Co pilots. Co pilots is how it's supposed to work with normal planes never mind things that breach the atmosphere).
Like I understand the amount of redemption/fix it fics that have him be a merc with cloud or whatever but I feel we're ignoring the possibilities stemming from the fact this man canonically knows modern astrophysics and that is absolutely not something you can inherit via way of ancient inhuman semi deceased life form.
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murmurmurl · 15 days ago
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I actually find gender swapping characters really interesting (what part of their expression is dictated by gender norms vs certain events in their life vs their personal preferences that wouldn't change either way, etc.) so now I wanna draw what that would look like in my ocs except I am in pain rn so I'm forced to just lie there and be plagued by visions
#ok but#the thing with north is that when he ran away he cut off his hair and started wearing masculine clothing to hide his identity and went “wait#this actually feels right wtf“#but i dont think he really did anything with his appearance prior to that. he kinda was just existing not really thinking about himself#he was really only focused on protecting and caring for saffron#so a gender swapped version wouldnt be much different pre-running away#not bothering about cutting hair + the cultists' robes look very similar in both feminine and masculine versions#so fem north would still have short hair to make her appearance less recognizable#just would wear dresses and stuff#saffron though. i think she presents herself more in accordance with gender norms#so gender swapped saffron would always have short hair + more masculine looking clothing#but i think her mannerisms and behavior would stay the same. also her general frame#like yes she in part dresses and looks this way because thats whats expected of her + thats how she was raised by The Lady but a lot of it#esp in terms of her personality is Just Her. this would stay the same#warren doesnt give a shit. he doesnt have much gender to begin with. no gender only swag#so he would look almost exactly the same just with less facial hair probably#The Lady would very much be different. like instead of graceful threatening elegant old-ish woman with Big Hair and Big Dress#shed have short hair same level of elegance but masculine clothes probably facial hair too. like one of them small sharp beards yk#the restaurant owner (still dont have a name for her) wouldnt change almost at all as well. shes very much function/comfort over style#her clothes are already masculine n she has short hair both for convenience#shed straight up look the same just with a stubble or smth#there are a couple other characters in this story i have thoughts on but i havent introduced/developed them properly yet#pjsk ocs though ! ive been thinking abt them again#matsu is pretty feminine and it does play a role in a “part of why ppl think hes weird” kinda way#so as a girl hed be more masc presenting#i dont think fumi would really change at all. she also dresses mainly for convenience but i do think she does have a little regard for#for gender norms. but like. barely any. so maximum changes would be those ponytail parts of her hair getting like. a tiny bit shorter#toshiro would stay the EXACT same. he does his own thing#seina dresses that way bc shes expected to but also thats just genuinely how she is. so swapped shed still have longer hair n feminine#demeanor but wear pants or smth. im hitting tag limit help. cries
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captainseamech · 5 months ago
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//*frenetic typing stops* wait, what do you mean people stopped putting names to their threads?
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yu-huuuu · 18 days ago
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I- do people not read writers rules before requesting lol that's always what i do come on people. I do mind my business but the amount of incest fanfics on this app are so... let's just say interesting starting to feel like ao3 in here sometimes now ugh
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lmao
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princemick · 3 months ago
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sometimes I talk to my dad abt controversial things and/or literally give my opinion and he responds and I'm just like 'yeah no you're why people dont like me'
#me sayjng that I dont agree with his opinion but sure you can think his way but heres why i dont agree and him going 'yes no ofcourse you're#right because you're always right and never open for different opinions and not nuanced and and and' in the most sarcastic way and I'm just#standing there like '??? I ended my piece saying y ur opinion could also be right wtf' and he is like 'no im sure because i know these#kinda things' and me and my mom ask for evidence and he gets mad bc no he knows this obviously he just knows this#and then 5 minutes later he goes (non sarcastically) 'yea kyle can do anything' and then when i respond w 'ye sure' he gets mad#bc he sees it as me not being able to take a compliment#SIR I CAN IN FACT NOT DO ANYTHING U LIT TOLD ME I'M BLATENTLY WRONG AND MY OPINION IS WRONG 5 MINUTES AGO#stop telling me I'm perfect AT EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME PLEASE#anyway slay i dont like him as a man and yet he makes me feel like im not allowed to#and shames me when i make it clear I dont like being around him as much#anyway hes a sucky sucky man a lot of the time and atp I'm like 90% sure hes a narcissist but idk enough abt it#anyway fat slay#I'm literally never coming out to him as trans bte bc when one of his closest friends came out as a women and said she was going to#transition he saw it as unfair to HIM because its hard for HIM to lose a friend and he didn't know how to deal with that so she was a bad#friend for doing that. also I'm his favourite little girl to this day like sir....im a 24 yr old whos not called themselves a woman in like#6 yrs please catch on#god so much to talk abt w/him thats to much I'm not gonna trauma dump#anyway he sucks#he just can't seem to grab onto me thinking he sucks
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beeapocalypse · 1 year ago
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^ GAH !
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^ GAH !!!!!!!!!!!!!
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bunnihearted · 1 year ago
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._.
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stinkbeck · 7 months ago
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steviescrystals · 4 months ago
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i’m fr gonna lose my mind :)
#been a minute since i’ve ranted in the tags on here hi hello#so i have this friend who is driving me absolutely insane#we’ve been friends for about a year or so and when we first met we clicked right away and got super close and hung out all the time#we met at work but neither of us works there anymore and it feels like our whole friendship is falling apart now that we don’t#i literally have not seen her in person once since the last time we worked together (march)#and even before that we didn’t hang out outside of work since december of last year#and i have grown very used to having friends that just do not put the same amount of effort as me into our friendships and it’s sucks#so i was starting to make my peace with the fact that we just weren’t really friends anymore#but then a few months ago she started texting me asking me to hang out all the time and she seemed way more like her old self#and immediately i got sucked back in and was all excited to see her again and have her back in my life fully#but she completely flaked on me three times in a row (not even cancelling our plans but waiting until the next day to give me an excuse)#which like i said i’m unfortunately used to but she literally was the one who invited ME to hang out every time#like why are you initiating plans with me and then ignoring my calls and texts when it comes time to actually hang out#then a few weeks ago she texted me again saying we should go to a concert together bc we hadn’t in a long time#and there happens to be a concert i’ve been wanting to go to on the 31st but had no one to go with#she said she was totally in and really excited and i bought the tickets a couple days later and texted her to tell her i had#got zero response for almost a week and then she texted me yesterday saying we should hang out this week#so i said yeah let’s do it but also this concert is literally in 2 days are you still coming with me#and no response! again! so now i have 2 days to try and find someone else who can go last minute bc it seems unlikely that she will#and i’m just so fucking confused bc why do YOU keep reaching out to ME just to flake out at the last minute every single time#like at this point it feels like she’s doing it on purpose just to see if i’ll keep tolerating her bullshit#and part of me wants to just cut her off bc she’s been a terrible friend to me for months at this point#but i can’t bring myself to do it bc i miss her so much anyway and when our friendship was good it was really fucking good#like i considered this girl one of my best friends and now it feels like she’s just playing games with me bc she’s bored#which sucks extra bc last year she was there for me when literally none of my long time friends were#like it’s bad enough that it seems like our friendship was conditional on us being coworkers#but it hurts more and more every time she reappears in my life just to ghost me again like genuinely why would you do that#so i’m really upset and pissed off rn and i have no idea wtf to do about the concert bc idk anyone else who likes the artist enough to go#vent#lj.txt
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mudpuddless · 1 year ago
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Nothing more jading than existing as an autistic person in a social setting and having a person who you have no real connection to invalidate your entire political and emotional standing with the simple technique of talking louder and more normal and appealing to the group and by nothing I mean a lot but it’s still a surprise every time until it happens again and again and
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jrueships · 1 year ago
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that popular girl u just graduated highschool with, who got immediately impregnated by some man who works at a trucking company, posting her soon-to-transition into Facebook Instagram photos of her family of 10 meanwhile ure sitting eating noodles somewhere
#the photo ks acrually a metaphor showing who receives (literally) and who hits#sauce posted these pictures in these specific times to speak to us tumblr girls and no one else#he has moved on from the lame and miserable formerly twitter platform in order to channel his truth empath nature#and post weird things with no likes on tumblr#... am i actually sauce irl#....#.............#anyways this explanation isnt weird bcs he meant for this explanation to make sense in Our eyes#WE'RE the normal ones. actually#not him#never him#a kiss begins with k#him posting this before The Incident...#it's like seeing old photos of a woman and her now deceased husband like wtf am i supposed to feel now#sauce disturbing aaron in his hospital bed at 3am#crawling into his bed and turning down the mating dolphin sounds that are supposedly assisting aaron in the healing process#so he can curl into his body and hurt his achilles even more when he whines abt ppl being mean to him on twitter#aaron: dont worry bby. my other bby#elongated man (musk) is handling that#sauce: kitten is being bullied :(#aaron: well daddy is dying so. whose battle is more dire#sauces. clearly#hes an empath bro he cant handle all this negative energy :( (when it's about him)#i had someone tell me theyre an empath and i swear i had to fight my demons so hard#i wanted to laugh only bcs i associate that word so much with sauce#it's like cursed im so sorry#shes rlly nice but omg the sauce flash grenade i just got#he haunts me daily#sauce
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2n2n · 2 years ago
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do you think yashiro nene is a fujoshi
Not at all, I actually think Nene is the most utterly normal straight girl LOL. She likes otome games where you are a protag dating a dozen cute boys or whatever, and in her fantasies, all boys are pointed at her and oggling her … she is just into a harem fantasy. It's all about how hot and impressive she is--!! In a way the boys in the harem interacting is like… too complicated, for early manga Nene? It's such a straightforward want to be desirable …
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She has a more 'realistic' kind of fantasy outside of that, which she actively works towards-- where she alters her hobbies and vocations to appease a boy (and those vocations are things like learning to cook, sew, garden…)… and she ah, does deep down, understand she isn't conventionally desirable (TT__TT) so she has a submissive kind of brutal realist fantasy of, toiling or proving herself loyal to a boy through ah, subservience … (oh Nene-chan….)
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I don't even think she… perceives … much between two boys, naturally, in the way a lot of people don't jump to that kind of assumption-- like, I don't think Nene perceives the layers between Mitsuba and Kou as romantic at all, thus far, in the story? Just that Mitsuba is a friend Kou wants badly to help. (Kou being interested in her romantically would make it confusing to parse, really)
If Nene liked BL, that would be funny for Hanako to observe and psychoanalyze (I assume the typical narrative of the ~delusional degraded girl left to rot into a fujoshi would just occur to him naturally, like damn girl, you've been alone for too long; your fantasies have become too convoluted lol), but instead he's only here to comment on and observe her thirsty fantasies where 10 guys line up for her, hahaha. He sees THAT and goes, pervert, lol…. dirty thought haver... lol...
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he's charitable and pities her for wanting to be hot in a conventional way......…
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In reality I think of her gradual observing of the Yugi twins and, wishing for them to resolve what is going on between them, as something she earnestly wants for them both-- ehr, platonically, initially, you know, just normally … their story is sad, and, they are brothers, they were important to one another, Hanako feels seemingly guilt and misery about the murder, so… Nene's likely-future-interest in them healing their bond, is as straightforward and sincere as Neige wanting to heal the Ambrose twins broken relationship in AidaIro's Snow White. It'll just become so obvious and apparent both parties are still loving and wanting the other. Hanako is so ah, avoidant, and Tsukasa so mysterious, that we're softly chipping away at Nene realizing, "Tsukasa is precious to Hanako".
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Neige, in Snow White, observes the brother's sad pining for the other, and becomes straight up frustrated and yells at them about it, like, "NEITHER OF YOU HATE EACH OTHER, YOU BOTH WANT THE SAME THINGS, SO WHY IS IT LIKE THIS???" and she doesn't need any kind of interest in BL, you know? It's a sincere story, at first………
But actually that is why it's captivating to think of her organically… understanding, parsing, that there is, "more" going on under the surface…?
"Tsukasa is precious to Hanako" is step 1, not the final conclusion. And I also think that's the… point, of her and Hanako forming a romance, and all of this parallel between how avoidant and fussy he is towards Nene, and how avoidant and fussy he can be towards Tsukasa. I think, once Nene can truly understand, "Hanako loves me, but, he refuses to let himself have things he loves, because he is afraid, for some reason", she could see how he creates the same obscurity and distance between himself and Tsukasa. Hanako cannot say "I love you" directly to either of them … by having a romance with Hanako, she can directly experience the same foibles as Tsukasa.
Nene is really… interested in Hanako's emotions, fundamentally, she wants to 'know' him. She is trying to solve his behavior… her most spellbound moments are, when Hanako is distressed, upset, finally dropping his facade. I suppose I think it could gradually become apparent to her, or else, apparent all at once, that Hanako was in love with his brother, and, he doesn't know what to do about that, and, he's running from it, just like he runs from Nene over and over. Hanako never wants to confront anything. He doesn't want to talk about what Tsukasa makes him feel, or what happened between them, or why he did what he did (and does Hanako even fully understand?).
I think if you fed Nene information point blank early manga like, "hey, this guy who sexually harasses you is also a brocon", that wouldn't really be anything to her, not exciting or captivating on its own-- its not 'that kind of interest' in and of itself. But at this point, the mystique and secrets of Hanako are so DEEP and INSCRUTABLE, that she'd be grateful for any information. And at this point, "Hanako was in love with his twin brother" would would be more like, "ah… so thats why he wouldn't tell me anything, and that's why he's so secretive about him. That's a good reason. It must be confusing, even for him, to understand why he does anything, or what he wants with his brother." Literally anyone would keep that secret buried eternally.
After so long in the dark with Hanako, it'd be like a… relief, to, understand why the secrecy. Thus far, Nene has thought something like, "why doesn't he trust me?" or, "what is he so afraid of me finding out? What could be so bad, when he's already a murderer, and I already accept that? When I already accept him trying to have Aoi killed, or trying to trap me?" At that point, it's like, oh. Naruhodo. Also, of course he, can't, talk about it, he can't even talk about his FEELINGS FOR NENE, a NORMAL GIRL AND PERSON TO LIKE. Its like… I don't think considering the Yugi for Nene, is like, "hot" or "sexy" on first blush, it's more like…………….. ok, I get it, that would, cause problems, in one's life, and be difficult to cope with, and, ever talk about ………………………… its kind of not her fault then that he won't say anything, lol.
It's not like, "hot because it is two boys", it's not as if Nene has an established interest in that whatsoever-- though she has uh, an established "omg" its like its exotic to her or something, www...
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tsuchigomori confirmed for homophobic -- it's, uh, alluring because of Hanako's intoxicating complexity and depth, and, well, she's a romantic… I think the romanticism of being born together and sharing every day, and then Tsukasa sacrificing himself to save his brother, and then Hanako's sacred belonging becoming his twin, to eternally protect, is, ehr, something that begs reverence and understanding by nature.
Though, I mean. Nene loves the fantasy of multiple guys (: so... (: I think twins is a very 'happy ending' for Nene-chan ... and I think relating to Tsukasa and being so similar to him, would make her feel more secure in how and why Hanako loves her... (: and I think, getting to eventually spectate the twins earnest love, would become.....................sexy.
Its like a corruption arc in a way. This innocent straight girl who wants a normal relationship with a guy is going to be swept into this crazy twin love story. And she is gonna. LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But you know. The protagonist of the Vampire Romance Novel is rarely reading about vampire romance all day long, its more of a, "I never thought something like this would happen to me", "I never thought my life would be like this" "I didn't ask for this" .................................. you don't think you'll wind up fucking twins .......................... and you don't think you'll love it so much and you don't think you'll love to see them finally kiss and consummate a decades long unspoken taboo love affair. You don't think that will be your life but then it is your life. And the previous fantasies were pointless and nothing. Useless generic young girl fantasies. This is, The Real Stuff.
This is the transformation of Nene-chan. Into Twin Lover. It's happening to many readers every day, as well. Many fans experience the same, "I wasn't into yaoi before...." or, "I don't really like twin stuff...." "BUT, the Yugi twins........................." that is the Nene-chan experience. Suddenly the only logical conclusion is that the twins must kiss, even if you never thought you'd want that sort of thing in your life. Nene-chan surely has not thought of it before.
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