#wonder how old is monty? Like when made into a human he is made vaguely teenager aged but like he is the familiar of a very old witch is he

[reeama-the-mage]

The difference between the tragedy of Edwin's and Charles' lives and deaths and what makes Charles' much more compelling to me is that Edwin never had anyone he could trust: he grew up with distant parents who i imagine he saw rarely and could not confide in, then he went to school and was immediately recognized as other in a way he had not fully realized of himself yet and was killed for it, and then comes hell and well who can u trust in hell? Certainly not the things that chase you until your legs ache, and even if your compatriots in the whole ordeal are as innocent as you, trapped in the same technicality, what is the good of trusting them, when they are just as helpless as you?

But Charles? Everyone Charles was supposed to trust betrayed him. His parents were close to him, atleast somewhat, atleast his father was around enough to get sick of hearing owner of a lonely heart, and his mother was around enough to watch his father beat him and be silently horrified and ultimately not do anything about it, maybe she stepped in once and we just never saw it, but I wouldn't bet on it, Charles' mom is 'quiet' that's her defining feature to Charles not protective or gentle just 'quiet', then Charles gets to school and he is popular he has friends! He has people who care for him (or should maybe, as long as he's good at sports like he's needed to be) and then he stands up for one person, because he has always wanted to be good and maybe he trusts himself to do it just this once and his friends kill him and his own actions signed the death warrant and he cannot even trust himself to do the right thing properly (it never got better and then you died)

And maybe, maybe Edwin does it too, with less intention to hurt, and with less knowledge but Charles and Edwin trust eachother maybe more than anything (maybe Charles would sooner slip away from earth's gravity than stop putting his trust in Edwin who he thinks is good and smart and brills and aces) and maybe Edwin still looks at Charles trying to protect him after Charles has had maybe the worst week of his existence and says "that was a bit...... extreme" and Edwin still promises Charles can tell him anything while hiding himself in a way that makes Charles feel untrustworthy

So yeah I'll never stop thinking about the tragedy of Charles Rowland actually 👍 think about him with me

[eclectic-aussie]

Random Thoughts #15

Well damn, that was a heavy episode. I kind of regret stumbling on tumblr before watching the episode because the ending was spoiled but at the same time it gave me time to brace myself for it, though my hearts still sore at the betrayal even if Bellamy thinks it’s like chipping Madi: done for the greater good.

But after seeing the promo for next week I’m also regretting not waiting until all the episodes aired so I could binge watch them BECAUSE GOD DAMN IT, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT AND I WANT TO KNOW NOW!! Which is only the second time I’ve really felt that way all season, the first after last weeks episode when Clarke came back.

I can’t help but wonder at a few possibilities that might come up; the Conductor accused Bellamy of selfish obsessive love (though honestly I’d say that’s more his girlfriend than him, but not the point) and Bellamy past insecurities and self doubt/loathing makes him blind to the good he’s done (he convinced Madi to spare the prisoners and bring them with them on the Eligius, put the Flame in Madi to try and make a peace treaty with the Eligius which became moot after Murphy accidentally on purpose put McCreary in charge just to name 2)

But what I think may come up is that while the Conductor decided Bellamy’s love is selfish, they’re going to be probing Clarke’s mind against her will (there’s a word for that, and I can’t help but think that’s going to come up later when Bellamy becomes himself again) and they’re going to realise that Clarke loves selflessly to the point where she will sacrifice her life over and over again for others she barely knows. She has taken on the pain and loss, breaking herself over and over again to protect her people. Even Roan mentioned it in season 4 when he and Bellamy were taking the Hydrozene to Raven at Becca’s lab when Bellamy scoffed at Roan for only caring about his people and Roan pointed out that Bellamy was no different and everyone was looking out for themselves (PAUSE) except maybe Clarke.

Some predictions and questions I have after this week’s episode, and seeing the promos, for the fun of it and I want to get them out:

1.Becho will break-up. It’s something I’ve said since last season, but remember a week ago when Echo was going to genocide Bardo in Bellamy’s name? Remember in the promo Echo telling Bellamy he’s ‘lost himself?’ And how Bellamy is now a member of the cult that Echo tried to massacre? You really don’t think Cadogan’s going to give the body count to Bellamy when he asks why they’re locked up? I think we’ll get a scene where Bellamy ends their relationship with Echo maybe even telling her that it took the almost genocide to realise that he had wanted so badly that who she was on the Ring was who she really was, but her actions on Bardo showed she hadn’t really changed and that she still chose to make the same mistakes as before Praimfaya but now for Spacekru instead of Azgeda. Probably ending with Raven telling Echo that it was just the brainwashing and they’ll be back together when he’s better and other things of that nature which are coddling (like how both women are treated in the show. Sorry, couldn’t resist) and unlikely. I think it will probably come after the scene where Bellamy gives Cadogan the picture of his family and he burns it to prove his detachment from personal ties. Then again he’s a sociopath so…

2.Clarke will be tortured in the M-Cap machine. Yes, we all know this will happen because of the promo, and also in the promo is the fact that Clarke is fighting it; evidenced by the black blood streaming down each side of her face as the points dig into her skull. We also know Bellamy is there watching her being tortured and as far as we know doing nothing to stop it besides probably telling her to just co-operate. I know everyone is hoping this will be where Bellamy hears the radio calls, but I don’t think that’s what’s going to happen. Now hear me out: Clarke is in that chair because Cadogan wants all info he can get about the Flame and who might have more info about it, do you really think he’s just going to stand there with his newest recruit, who he believes is the key to controlling Clarke, while her memories of her love of Bellamy possibly work to undo his indoctrination? No, I think Cadogan will use Bellamy to establish a neural link and then when he realises the threat Clarke poses to keeping Bellamy as his disciple, he’ll send him away, possibly to talk to his other friends and try to ‘reason’ with them. I also think this would be a wonderful time to have Clarke relive Echo trying to kill her ‘to avenge Bellamy’ while Raven and Shaw watch and Madi orders her down using a Heda order (not that Cadogan will know that), because it will show a previous ‘kill to avenge Bellamy’ moment that will solidify Bellamy’s belief that his break-up with Echo was the right choice, but it would also work in Cadogan’s favour of ‘selfless love over selfish love’ and the danger of personal attachments, especially if he was looking for her more recent attempt to ‘avenge Bellamy’ and just happened to stumble upon it.He’s nothing if not an opportunist.

Once he’s gone the real torture will begin while Cadogan works to get the info by any means necessary. Cadogan is a narcissistic sociopath, do you really think he’ll take any risk that Clarke will reach Bellamy? I think they’ll damn near liquify her brain and then she’ll be kept apart from her people so they don’t cause a fuss. (possibly next episode) I think then Levitt will find out how hard they pushed Clarke and when he tells Octavia and she begs him to check on her, he finds Clarke in pretty rough shape. When he tells Octavia and brings Bellamy at her request, taking him away from his tour, she then confronts Bellamy who doesn’t believe her. Then Levitt shows him the footage of Clarke being tortured which she tried to resist by remembering the radio calls as a kind of block for anything outside that purview until they push too hard and she falls unconscious. Bellamy sees her being tortured and the calls and the cracks start to deepen and the indoctrination starts to fail. I know a lot of people want Bellamy there while she’s actually tortured, but I honestly don’t think that kind of betrayal of trust and basic human rights can be forgiven (by Clarke or Bellamy forgiving himself cause he’d despise himself if that did happen) and forgotten in 4-5 episodes to the degree it will need to for them to pass the test and end up together (unless they do a ‘6 years later’ where they’re married and 5 year old sibling for Madi with another on the way, but even then). I also think he’ll stay as a ‘faithful disciple’ even as he’s pulled by both sides internally until he has more info either way and will be there when point 5 below happens.

3.Tied to above: is it safe to hook Clarke up to that thing cause like time I checked, in canon it’s only been a week since Clarke was having seizures and almost died from sharing her brain for too long with Josephine which she was warned would lead to neural degradation then death, so can she actually survive the procedure?

4.I would be so happy if they have Jordan do a ‘Monty Green stopping Bellamy, Gaia and Indra in the fighting pits’ call-back by having Jordan burst in while they’re torturing Clarke with the news that Cadogan the narcissist translated the message wrong...which didn’t end so great for Becca when she presented another option other than leaving Earth. Though honestly, I don’t think it would happen next episode, maybe the one after or at least not expanded upon too much while they’re being watched.

5. I think it’s a possibility that when they do break Clarke, the info they get will be so vague that they’ll be flummoxed by it, but Bellamy will know what it means and his final decision will be made. It will just be Madi’s drawings of Clarke as ‘Wanheda’ and the Anomaly stone, my little Nightblood in Trig, and maybe one of two little things that will mean little to the Bardoans out of context and everything to Bellamy. He’d go straight to the others, maybe grabbing Levitt on the way. The other wont trust him because it’s such an about face but Bellamy will tell them about the torture (which Octavia didn’t tell them about to keep them from getting hurt trying to protect her) reminding them that Clarke was not the last person to have the Flame, that Madi was. Raven tentatively admits that Madi had been drawing pictures from her dreams that Gaia and Clarke might be from the Flame. They need to get to Madi first (and even the dead Flame might have some info) before Cadogan gets a chance to and stop Cadogan from torturing Madi like he’s done to Clarke. It’s eventually agreed that Bellamy will distract Cadogan while Levitt and Gabriel get Clarke and the others steal enough uniforms so they can get to Sanctum with their minds intact.

6.So Levitt stopped reading Octavia’s memories during the City of Light, right? And the Conductor was spouting that the Shephard message of ‘selfless love’? Who wants to bet that Cadogan gets more than a little threatened when he starts seeing not only Clarke in the City of Light itself (Imagine them starting with being tortured by her mind controlled mother, then ‘Her friends are her weakness. Start with Bellamy Blake.’, her mother being controlled to hang herself and Clarke not giving in  and Bellamy and Murphy bursting in and Clarke becoming a temporary Nightblood  and her conversations with Jasper, Becca and ALIE, even if we only see snippets or them mentioning in as an aside to rush it along, it would be heavy hitting under the circumstances), but also the lead-up and aftermath of Praimfaya, and more specifically Clarke’s place in it? The Shephard is revered for ‘saving his people from the fire’, well Bellamy shut the door and took his people to space to save them from Praimfaya while Clarke stayed behind ON THE SURFACE OF THE PLANET in order to align the dish manually to save them. The Shephard conquered the Mountain? Bellamy and Clarke defeated the Mountain who had been kidnapping the Grounder to either use as blood bags or turning them into mindless cannibals, and tortured teenagers to death for their bone marrow even after they said they’d donate it willingly. The Shephard went on a pilgrimage for 3 months with provisions to do the aforementioned conquering of the mountain? Clarke Mother F’ing Griffin survived the 2nd Apocalypse that burnt up 96% of the Earth’s surface and not only did she survive, she managed to find the 4% or at least a large chunk on it and lived there alone with only her adoptive daughter and broken radio for company for 6 YEARS! A lot of Cadogan’s mythos and legend is his own self-aggrandizing and twisting circumstances to fit his narrative of ‘I am the one true Prophet and Saviour who will lead us into the Last War for all Mankind’, Clarke’s is from her own actions, deeds and self-sacrifice.

Because while the Bardoans may are quick to spout out the credence of “the few for the many” how many of them have actually had to back that up? And both Bellamy and Clarke have, on multiple occasions. Remember Clarke and Bellamy’s little chat with Roan before the City of Light? About how ALIE didn’t give a damn what clan you were from, she wanted to get EVERYONE? Octavia knew about it, but Clarke was there when she and Bellamy convinced Roan. And also “Are you really willing to trust that guy with your life?” “No. But you’ll be covering us the entire time, and I trust you.” Not to mention him holding her hand when she got the Flame implanted and him trusting her when she said that taking ALIE’s chip was the right choice.

Huh, the end of season 3 had a heck of Bellarke, didn’t it 😉

7.I think when Cadogan finds out that Clarke has a mind-drive in her head he’s going to be veeery interested in cutting her neck open and becoming the Shephard for all eternity. Am I wrong?

8.I’m calling it now; the final test (given by a manifestation of Becca since she’s connected to all of them and the Anomaly stone) will be between Bellamy and Clarke, Cadogan and Sheidheda. It will be straight forward and/or easy to cheat until there is trick situation where their actions, not their words, show their true beliefs and goals. Maybe showing someone they loved in the past or present (Callie and Reese, whoever Sheidheda may care for, Clarke or Bellamy being trapped and there only being time to save the other or to ‘win’)

[useyourtelescope]

fic writer asks

tagged by @bookwormforalways @burninghoneyatdusk and @queenemori - thanks 💕

Name(s)? I go by useyourtelescope on both tumblr & AO3

Fandom(s)? I like to dabble in lots. I’ve currently got fics in over 15 on AO3, but wrote for a fair few before that in my LJ/FF days. The most regular one has been The 100 for a while.

Where you post? AO3 

Most popular one-shot (by kudos)?

birds of a feather - originally posted Feb 2015

Bellarke Modern AU | ~6k words. Five times Clarke was caught wearing Bellamy's clothes, and one time she wasn't.

Just a little piece of fluff feat. clothes-stealing/sharing.

Most popular multi-chapter (by kudos)?

The Wonderful Mess We Made - WIP

Bellarke Modern/Superhero AU | Enemies to Friends to Lovers Getting superpowers was never in the plan, but Clarke thinks she’s got this vigilante thing down. She has a great team beside her and her fighting skills have become pretty bad-ass, if she does say so herself. If only she didn't need Bellamy Blake's assistance to save her town.

Or, the one where Clarke and Jasper are scientists who turn superhuman, Raven and Monty are their human friends who are no less super at fighting crime, and Bellamy absolutely does not believe in superheroes… until he meets one. That's when things get really interesting.

My first T100 fic that’s still not complete ooop. I really am planning to finally sort that out in 2021 though!

Favourite story you’ve written so far?

This is hard! Rn I’m feeling soft towards this fic I wrote a year ago:

Does Enchantment Pour Out of Every Door - posted Dec 2019

Sanditon | Post-Canon Romance/Fluff | ~17k words Some time after her trip to Sanditon Charlotte sets off on her next adventure, visiting London as Lady Susan's guest. While there she makes many new acquaintances, but soon finds she is most glad to renew an old one with Mr. Stringer.

I was just very happy with how the flow of this turned out and some of my writing in it, and it has possibly my favourite ‘getting together’ scene I’ve written.

Fic you were nervous to post?

Pretty much all of them lol, it would be easier to list which ones I wasn’t. 

How do you choose your titles?

I’m terrible at titles so ususally songs lyrics, but occasionally a word of a phrase that I like from the fic or something related. Titles and summary are almost always the last thing done on my fics though, as I have a hard time with them.

Do you outline?

Yes! Though not often in a linear fashion, my outlines are usually a messy mix of very detailed sections/scenes linked together with vague thought. 

Complete works?

Currently 35 on AO3, will be more tomorrow, see coming soon ;)

In-progress works? 

5 on AO3, though one of those, my holiday fic where the lovelight gleams will be done later this week. And I’ve always got various things working on that are not yet posted.

Coming soon/not yet started?

I wrote a few fics for Yuletide exchange that will finish the anonymous period shortly, so those will be on my AO3 tomorrow. 

Prompts?

After the fics coming out this week my next one will be my next prompt fill for @t100fic-for-blm. Don’t forget that you can keep prompting for both fics and content (i.e. art, gifs, vids, etc.) and there’s lots of talented you can request from. And lots of people (myself included) will take prompts for WIP updates as well/instead of new stuff too. 

[thefudge]

scattered thoughts on sanditon so far 

this is a fun romp from andrew davies and there’s a lot to like and be invested in

but i do have some observations/ gripes

obviously davies is going for a modern/sexed up adaptation of austen and i have mixed thoughts on that, cuz there’s a lot of interesting stuff you can do with that, but you can also botch it up big time (i’m glad he didn’t do this to p&p back in 1995...i wonder what that adaptation would’ve looked like today. probably full monty darcy, lol). so i think some elements verge on the ridiculous, for instance having almost every dude in this show strip naked in front of a crowded beach several times in a row. ditto for theo james. i don’t mind the view (hehe) but i think it’s inserted awkwardly at times. like okay, we get it, it’s a beach resort and we’re trying to make austen edgy in 2019.... just maybe indulge a little less and literally keep it in your pants. 

this being a more modern adaptation i don’t mind hair and make-up anachronisms, but i DO mind the fact that rose williams sports this really weird shade of fuchsia lipstick in almost every single scene. stop iiiit

speaking of which, rose williams is a cutie and i loved her on reign, but i don’t understand what she’s doing with her face in this series. don’t get me wrong, she does a good job of making charlotte very likable, but the only way she can express...anything, really, is by making these confused faces, like a child practicing frowning in the mirror. it’s...really awkward. and she does this all the time, whether she’s happy or sulky or nervous, she just always looks like she’s trying to figure out the fibonacci sequence.  i mean it’s hilarious when u have theo james going all gruff to her about his feelings and rose williams is that gif of the blond lady doing math in her head. her acting is pretty good otherwise, but those faceeeees.

esther denham is my goddamn FAVE, gosh i love a Disappointed Queen and i’m glad she’s getting away from that boring skeevy brother. for once the incestuous siblings didn’t do it for me at all (which is pretty much the point lol). there’s nary a dude more uninteresting than edward whatshisface, my gaaaawd (also, davies trying to ramp up the sexiness with those scenes of edward brushing her hair or doing her stays...lol, sir, this rly isn’t your strength i’m sorry)

but i have to say that i thought esther and clara would be a thing. because my gosh, the chemistry during their scenes! the way they’d glide past each other with utmost contempt, while being disquieted by each other @___@. i mean it’s an austen adaptation, so i guess they’d never go there but!!! i need fic (would’ve made clara more bearable at least. i appreciate her character objectively cuz she’s an interesting pseudo-antagonist and you don’t get many of those, but blerghh. she was insufferable)

i was kinda (actually very) disappointed that the relationship between sidney and his ward, georgiana, wasn’t really developed. like there’s one more episode to go (as far as i know?) and they’ve barely scratched the surface with them. i mean he’s halfway decent to her now.... but ehh. i feel like this was a missed opportunity. after all, this was austen’s unfinished novel, so andrew davies & co could have added more material between these two. this, to me, should have been the real heart of the series. 

i like otis as a character, but georgiana/otis was zzzzzz. i suppose that they’ll end up together? zzzzzzzzzz (i frankly ship her way more with arthur! she finds him infuriating! he’s a sweetheart! the shenanigans!)

that German doctor is the real MVP, i feel like he should be sanditon’s no. 1 bachelor. i mean the shower rod??? providing pleasure to all the ladies in town, what a hero 

the soundtrack is rly rad! and the cinematography

i love how the show captures austen’s growing interest in the industrialized modern world which was emerging in the twilight years of the regency and i feel like maybe the show should’ve invested more time in that modern aesthetic (steampunk!) rather the awkward sexual shenanigans 

so....i can’t delay the inevitable anymore, can i? sigghh okay here i go

sidney/charlotte...annoys me. 

HEAR ME OUT.

 u know that i love LOVE “enemies to lovers” and hate/love stories, i LIVE FOR THIS SHIT. 

and i was ready to gorge on this dynamic because it looked delish 

 but i felt like michael bluth finding the dead pigeon in the paper bag. 

from what i can gather, sidney is supposed to be a mixture of darcy and capt wentworth, “haughty” and proud, with a history of romantic disappointment, a brooding sexy hero with a heart of gold. but to me this dude just comes off as weird. 

there’s legit no reason for him to be THIS mean to this young girl he just met. he is not just an asshole, he is ridiculously over the top about it, to the point where he makes a fool of himself. i am FINE with a man telling a woman off, believe me, but it has to have some kind of motivation, some kind of reasoning behind it. here, it just feels like the plot needs him to be utterly shitty to charlotte so that “sparks will fly”. that first ep convo on the balcony??? wtf???? it was genuinely bizarre. i got weird incel vibes. and every time he lashes out at charlotte (at least in the first 4 episodes) it’s fucking silly, because it’s not like he lashes out because she’s scratching the surface of his innermost painful memories. no!!! many of their arguments revolve around basic things that he could easily clarify!!! which he does eventually, so like whyyyyyyyyyy. charlotte keeps telling him he’s being vague for no good reason and he still does it. it doesn’t make sense he’d be this guarded and outspoken at the same time. like, fine, keep that shit to yourself, don’t tell ppl, but don’t also get pissed at them when they don’t guess your mind. again, i love an antagonist dynamic when it’s done right, but here many times it’s just pointless bullying, it’s not sexy or fun or challenging. the writers keep making charlotte apologize to him about how “wrong” she got him and how he makes her doubt her judgement but it sounds fake to me. like a) this dude went out of his way to be a total assface to you from day one, b) none of that bullying was him trying to coax you into having a more complicated view of the world. when darcy rebukes elizabeth, he is hinting at her limited point of view. he’s not blatantly negging her or calling her stupid as this dude does. AND U KNO WHAT.

i’d be absolutely fine with him calling her stupid IF IT MADE SENSE WITHIN THE STORY 

like if charlotte had truly done smth stupid during the first episode, sure, fine, it’s somewhat warranted 

but for him to decide she’s an idiot for no other reason than her making some honestly super nice remarks about his brothers when he asked for her opinion is THE HEIGHT OF NONSENSE 

it’s even more nonsense when 2 episodes later he decides maybe she’s not that dumb after all FUCK U MR. EDGELORD

and it makes me pity charlotte cuz she’ll probably marry this dude and have to deal with him in his old age when he’ll be even more insufferable. 

and i totally get the appeal. i do! i mean their scenes are manufactured to make you want more of them, i see the chemistry, it’s there (and we’re already at a point in the series where he’s trying to make amends) but at the same time i’m put off by this dude’s intensity, cuz it’s not the hot kind of intensity...it’s more like he’s a giant dumb baby who breaks things. meh. theo james is very pretty tho, and he is doing the most with his character (that voice def helps!). but i wish this antagonistic relationship had been written better, because it could’ve been glorious

this is why i think sidney/georgiana should’ve been so much more present. just like darcy has his georgiana we need the humanizing element, we need to see more variety from this dude than just “guy who clearly needs anger management classes”. 

i’m pretty sure i’m in the minority or possibly one of two ppl not won over by this romance, and i can’t lie and say i don’t root for them. too much of this show is predicated on their clashes for them not to work it out and get together, but boyyyy do i wish they’d done it a bit better

i almost feel like a reylo anti lol, but at least kylo ren doesn’t neg rey every single time they talk 

also, i go back to rose williams’ faces because they just rly enhance how clumsy this dynamic is. theo james is doing byronic asshole 2.0 and charlotte looks at him like he’s developed a smell lmao. i mean the scene where she catches him naked? she turns around and FROWNS in this rly bizarre way, almost like she noticed a growth on his dick lmao it’s that bad 

anyway i totally get the appeal, but i also know what i want from this kind of dynamic and...this ain’t quite it 

honestly i think i prefer charlotte/cute architect guy whose name i don’t remember right now! 

that being said, my fave moments of this show are the most austen-esque, where ppl don’t take themselves so seriously. i mean the adventures of the perennially-ailing parker siblings (arthur & diana)? deeeelightful. the pineapple scene? glorious

also it makes me sad that sanditon was left unfinished because to see austen tackling georgiana’s character in depth would have been so, so interesting 

in conclusion, the show’s a lot of fun but also frustrating in many ways

i hope davies doesn’t set his eyes on re-adapting p&p or other austen classics because ermmm i know i’m trash but i am kind of tired of these sexed-up “look how scandalous we are behind closed doors” adaptations. you can make the regency era feel modern and relatable without “shocking hand job in the estate park” pls and thank u. sure, the regency era was the inheritor of the sexually relaxed 18th-century, but it wasn’t that relaxed yall. ppl still kept their wits and bonnets about them.

still, i’m glad this show exists and that it tries to take risks, i just wish it took different kinds of risks, if that makes sense. like i am SO bummed i didn’t get into sidney/charlotte, u have no idea 

[em-gray]

A Fine Thing To Be

(spoilers for Lady’s Guide)

so my friend @coolpolarbear123 and I were talking about what must’ve been going through Monty’s head when he arrived to pick up Felicity from Platt toward the end of Lady’s Guide, which led to us writing the encounter from Monty’s POV!

also on ao3

---

I stand at the front of the house, waiting for the door to be answered. Months of searching led up to this moment, and I pray that this was the right place, that Felicity is inside this house, and I can swoop in to rescue her like the charming older brother she loves, whether she admits it or not.

The door swings open, and I am face to face with a tall and sunburnt fellow. He clearly doesn’t suspect a thing, for he smiles politely at me and says: “Good afternoon, sir. You must be captain Boswell.”

“Indeed I am.” I try to peer around him, but he is blocking the view of the interior of the house. I reach out my hand and he grasps it in a firm shake. “And you are?”

“Stafford, sir. Come right in.” Stafford sidesteps, letting me enter. I take a brief glance around the not-so-modest quarters, but am quickly distracted by voices up ahead.

“...have not saved anyone!” someone says. It’s low, but I’d know that voice anywhere. Never before in my life could I have thought hearing it would bring me so much relief. “Not me, not Johanna, not yourself,” my sister states. Every step I take is a step closer to Felicity. My heart is beating fast, all the anticipation I’ve built up over the past few months reaching its peak. It makes me want to rush in, but I keep my pace steady.

A tired voice I don’t recognize speaks. “You don’t understand.”

I step into the doorway of the parlor, and immediately pick out out my sister. She seems alright, but it’s hard to tell from where I’m standing. Her back is to me, and she’s sitting with someone that looks vaguely familiar. It takes a second, but I realize that this must be Johanna Hoffman. I don’t remember much of her, just her rather dramatic quarrel with Felicity and her old habit of making googly eyes at Percy. I haven’t seen her in years, and I have to admit she’s become quite the lovely figure.

“Neither do you!” Felicity replies sharply. It brings me back to the situation. “At least I know enough not to delude myself into thinking imprisonment is a kindness.”

“Imprisonment?” I can’t help making a bit of a scene as I announce my presence. “That’s very dramatic. Will she make this much of a theater about everything?”

I saunter inside, doing my very best to avoid eye contact with my sister, though I notice her straightening at the sound of my voice before turning to look at me eyes wide and gaping.

The commander begins to make introductions, and I introduce myself as well. “Captain James Boswell, a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” I shake his hand and begin to discuss payment, making a fuss about what’s paid up front as if we’ll ever receive the latter half. It’s all formalities and I know I can’t hurry them along without looking suspicious, but it’s hard to not turn myself around and fling my arms around Felicity.

It feels like a lifetime has passed before everything is in order, and I finally turn to get a good look at my sister, taking in all that the past months have done to her. I can see more bones and her dress is torn, mirroring what she looked like on the adventure of a tour we took the previous year. Her hair resembles a bird’s nest more than a braid. Percy might be sent into shock at the sight.

And of course she’s grinning through all of that. A few years ago, I would never see a look like that on her face--especially directed at me. But now, here I am, wishing I could return it. I realize that all of the relief I’ve been feeling isn’t because of the long, long journey coming to an end, but because I have been so anxious over my sister, that seeing her again is flooding me with emotions I never knew I could feel towards her. I can’t return her grin, so I go for the next best thing a brother can do after being reunited with his little sister: I go for a little mockery.

“How much trouble can I expect?” I speak to Platt, cocking my head slightly towards him, though not taking my eyes off Felicity. “They look contrary.”

“No trouble,” Platt replies, his voice a warning directed at the two girls.

I point at Felicity, and keeping my face straight costs me inhumane effort. I’m enjoying this, I’ll admit it. “That one’s got a squint like she reads too many books.”

I can feel how much she wants to roll her eyes at me; it’s radiating off of her in waves. It’s almost entertaining.

Stafford continues, “Feel free to use any restraint you see fit. And upon the delivery of this letter--” I take the parchment that’s being handed to me, restraining from scowling at it-- “you can expect sufficient compensation from her father.”

The words almost sway me. I should have been expecting them, as we were talking about payments only moments before. I smile at him, pretending that any sort of exchange with my father would be a wonderful prize.

As Stafford and myself guide the girls toward the docks, I briefly entertain the childish idea of pushing Felicity into the water, purely to take vengeance for what had transpired in London. But I can’t, so I simply lean in, and murmur as quietly as I can: “Dear sister, look what you get yourself into when I’m not around.”

I can’t help it. Every reprimanding look or snide comment she gave me whenever I messed up comes to mind, and I thoroughly enjoy not being the cause of anyone getting in trouble for once in my life.

“Dear brother,” she says, “I have never been gladder to see you.”

I wasn’t expecting that--I was preparing myself for a snarky reply or at the very least an eye roll. I spare a glance at her, wondering what exactly she went through. Could it be worse than what I was imagining? Than what she was letting on? The ideas start to form a rock in my stomach. The amount of concern I had stored up surprises me yet again. Perhaps I do have it in me to be somewhat of a decent older brother.

I had only jokingly agreed before, but Felicity was right. Love has truly made me soft.

The Eleftheria comes into view, and I hear Felicity’s breath release as her shoulders slump slightly. I let her go and exchange my last formalities with Stafford, shaking his hand with my own that I shall need to clean as soon as I can.

I take both Johanna and Felicity up into the ship, passing everyone on the top deck except Ebrahim, who I make eye contact with, exchanging a silent conversation to let him know he is free to follow. The four of us go below the deck, me going down first so I could lend a hand to the ladies. Felicity takes it with a smile and descends, but when I extend the same helping hand to Johanna, she snatches her own close to her chest, as if the mere idea of my aid insults her, and leaps down herself. There, I am painfully reminded of the fact that she is unaware that she is being rescued when she, completely unprompted, kicks me between the legs.

Doubling over in pain, every foul word I’ve ever heard runs through my head, one or two escaping me. It doesn’t help that Johanna seems nowhere near being finished.

“You should be ashamed of yourself!” she cries out, and I feel something hit the back of my head as I’m still bent over. Her voice is high pitched and she clearly believes to be making the stand of her life. “You are a terrible man for accepting money to deliver human cargo who are obviously taken against their will. You’re no better than a slaver and a pirate!”

“Johanna-- ” Felicity calls, but she is ignored.

“I don’t care what he does to me! I don’t care what any of these bastards do! There’s nothing left to take from me, and I just want to hit something!” I feel the muff again.

Felicity manages to grab her. “Johanna, stop! Stop it, he’s not going to hurt you.”

“Well, I want to hurt him!”

“Stop it, Johanna. He’s not a sailor. This is my brother.”

“What?” I hear fabric ruffle as she turns. “Henry Montague?”

I groan and stand up, carefully protecting the still very painful area in case she might try anything again. “Miss Hoffman,” I manage. “My compliments to your cobbler. What are those shoes made of and from where exactly was it mined?” A bit of wit never hurt to soothe things over.

“You’re… weren’t you…” Johanna’s eyes dart between Felicity and me, then, composing herself, she states, “I remember him taller.”

Before I can reply, Felicity says, “You and him both.” My pride wounded, I make a sour face that I’m not sure either of them sees.

“Oh. Well then.” She runs her hands along her dress. “I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you.”

Not exactly the apology I was hoping for.  “Not sorry for the kick?”

“No, not particularly.” The last thing I need is two Felicitys on board to harass me.

I hear footsteps, and Percy joins us belowdecks. As always when I see him, my heart flutters. Not wasting a single second, he embraces my sister tightly. ‘Felicity Montague, I’ve been sick over you.’

Extraordinarily, Felicity doesn’t even seem to mind the embrace. I surrender to the urge I’ve been holding back since I first saw her again, and wrap my arms around both of the most important people in my life. I press my head to Felicity’s and squeeze tighter. I take a deep breath, seemingly for the first time since my sister ran away from us in London. Taking in the moment, I feel eternally grateful that she is all right.

If love has made me soft, I think that it’s a fine thing to be.

[papaculture]

Superheroes

I loved Wonder Woman. Sitting through Man of Steel and Batman V Superman was kind of like being made to endure a dark episode of Scooby Doo, where Shaggy’s implied drugs habit gets out of control and he reverses over Scooby in the Mystery Van. Or to put it another way, it was like going back to your favourite childhood comics and colouring them in with a black crayon.

I loved comics as a kid. I wish I still had my collection. Superman and Batman were early favourites, before I grew into the more complex dynamic of X-Men and ultimately moved on to 2000AD (I recently reread Nemesis the Warlock from the latter and heartily recommend it to anyone who likes Monty Python, Michael Moorcock, Douglas Adams and anti-hero demons with heads the same shape as their spacecraft).

I get the adolescent imperative to transform childhood pleasures into adult pursuits, which seems to inform much of the current vogue for superhero blockbusters. But there’s no question that the DC films (pretty much post-Batman Returns) have been missing the sense of wonder and imagination that made those three-colour strips so appealing to me as a kid. The basic premise that you could have a secret life — that you could be ordinary, even unpopular, but don a disguise and go off to have fantastical adventures of world-shaking importance was a source of great comfort to this kid.

Wonder

As you’d hope, Wonder Woman goes some way to restoring that sense of wonder. She is a hero whose greatest weapon (apart from her shield and lasso) is compassion. She understands that being a hero isn’t a chore, an affliction or a way to get revenge on the world, but a duty you perform because you care about your world, your society or humanity at large.

As a father of two young girls, I wish I could take them to see the new film. They’ve certainly enjoyed the Pop! figurines I brought back from the premiere. But, for all its heart, the film retains the grubby sheen of recent DC films and a focus on extended punch-ups that mean the intended market remains pubescents and above. There are also scenes of mass murder and warfare that might be confronting for younger children. Our four-year-old still hasn’t had to face up to the idea that humans kill other humans. (She’s very interested in death, particularly the deaths of rock stars such as Bowie, Eddie Cochran and half the Beatles, but I’ve so far had to put down Lennon’s death to an “accident”.) In our household, monsters either eat you or “zap” you.

So where does a superhero-loving dad go if he wants to share these stories with his offspring? There’s the recent The Lego Batman Movie, but I found that a bit too frenetic. I wanted simplicity. I thought back to my own childhood and the Christopher Reeve Superman films of the 70s and 80s. There’s an appealing innocence and brightness to them, but Christ they’re long. I’ll admit I struggled to get through the first and am yet to plough on.

Batman ‘66

For me, the Batman TV series (1966-68) was far more influential. Movies were a special treat, but television was daily fare. You could spend twenty-five minutes a day with Batman and Robin. Of course, I didn’t realise these stories weren’t straight-faced drama. Their outrageous antics felt very real to me. Returning to them now, it’s the humour that appeals.

I’m not sure what kids raised on the Nolan films will make of it, but to this adult the show’s self-aware comedy is a refreshing reminder of how much fun superheroes used to be. Batman 1966 knows exactly how silly it is and there lies its appeal. To a child, it looks like drama, because kids’ rules are different to those of us oldies. The nonsensical stories, the high stakes cliffhangers and balletic fight scenes are perfect springboards for children to dress up in a sheet and improvise their own escapades. For me, only the Burton Batmans have come close to embracing this show’s great sense of imagination and wonder.

We first watched Batman with Child One in an attempt to find some more proactive female role-models. I’d remembered Batgirl being in the show for the entire run, but she actually doesn’t appear until the third and final series. While there are undoubtedly outdated attitudes displayed by the characters around her (and the omnipresent narrator), Batgirl herself is pretty great. By day, she’s a brainy librarian (she’s shown to be at least as clever as Batman, if not more so) who seems to turn to crime-fighting for larks. She plays a pretty active role, usually investigating in parallel to Batman and Robin, and often riding to the rescue on her rather girly motorbike.

Unlike the dynamic duo, she doesn’t actually punch anyone, but isn’t above a few balletic kicks or thumping a henchman with a handy prop. The violence here is largely playful. Nobody ever gets hurt and the infamous pop-up slugs (KAPOW! etc) give the sense of the fight scenes being a game, rather than acts of anger. That said, we did have some discussion about why it was never okay to thump anyone.

Child One loves this show, although the occasional moments of peril for Batgirl have proved a little unsettling (she’s growing to enjoy feeling safely scared). A great place to start is with a 7 minute film included on the DVD and Blu-Ray set that works as an introduction to Batgirl. It was never broadcast, but is basically a pilot for a show based around her. Series Three follows on from there.

Batman: The TV Series is available on Blu-Ray, DVD, Netflix and is soon to be broadcast on SBS.

Age and stage: 3+

Gender stuff: The female characters are few and far between, but pretty appealing when they arrive. Three Catwomen, less glamorous women villains and, of course, Batgirl offer a few different roleplay options.

Drama: largely comic, with moments of tension outrageously signposted (and usually quickly resolved).

Outdated bits: The sexual politics is seriously off, whether it’s the narrator talking about “all manner of girls in Gotham City” being nurses, secretaries or librarians… or Barbara Gordon (AKA Batgirl) flirting uncomfortably with her own father.

Themes: adventure, heroism, responsibility, bravery and the importance of good grammar.

Danger Mouse and Bananaman

For younger children, there are two other superhero series we’ve enjoyed. The first is Danger Mouse. David Jason (also the voice of Toad of Toad Hall) voices the rodent superspy, who zaps around in a flying car with cowardly sidekick Penfold, foiling the plans of villainous Baron Greenback. The show has recently been remade with a new cast, at a more frenetic pace, but I was surprised how fast the early shows were. As with Batman, there are plenty of jokes (good, flat and deliberately awful) to entertain parents. In fact, it’s hard to think of a contemporaneous kiddie cartoon where the focus is so much on comedy. Compared to the staid Hanna-Barbera shows, Danger Mouse feels positively anarchic. Unlike Scooby Doo, which would generally end on an embarrassingly lame one-liner resulting in baffling laughter from its characters, this is a show genuinely packed with jokes. Every kind of joke. Danger Mouse owes as much to the knockabout humour of the Carry On films as it does to the surreal intelligence of Monty Python, with a good dose of Looney Tunes and The Goodies thrown in. There’s slapstick, wordplay, satire, pastiche, surrealism, wit and Edward Lear–esque nonsense.

Even more beloved for Child One is Bananaman. I had only vague memories of this show and watched it primarily out of loyalty to The Goodies (who voice all the characters). But it’s fantastically silly, has a suburban cosiness and is likely to encourage kids to eat more fruit. The villains are never particularly threatening, while the real hero is Bananaman’s less credulous raven sidekick. The joke ratio isn’t quite as high as with Danger Mouse, but it can work as a double gateway — opening the door not only to the world of superheroes, but that of The Goodies (which we are yet to share with the kids).

Danger Mouse and Bananaman are available on DVD. Bananaman is also available (officially) on YouTube.

Age and stage: 2+

Gender stuff: Non-existent. There is not a single recurring female character in Danger Mouse, while female roles in Bananaman are minimal (to put it politely). The recent DM reboot has gone some very slight way to addressing this.

Drama: slapstick, fantastical adventure. Some cliffhangers, but no real sense of peril.

Outdated bits: A distinct lack of diversity, with some racial stereotyping.

Themes: humour, adventure, decency, honour and the importance of fresh fruit.