#really is because he is A Cat King (TM ;) ) and he should be Better than That and hes just as petty and mortal as anyone else

[reeama-the-mage]

The difference between the tragedy of Edwin's and Charles' lives and deaths and what makes Charles' much more compelling to me is that Edwin never had anyone he could trust: he grew up with distant parents who i imagine he saw rarely and could not confide in, then he went to school and was immediately recognized as other in a way he had not fully realized of himself yet and was killed for it, and then comes hell and well who can u trust in hell? Certainly not the things that chase you until your legs ache, and even if your compatriots in the whole ordeal are as innocent as you, trapped in the same technicality, what is the good of trusting them, when they are just as helpless as you?

But Charles? Everyone Charles was supposed to trust betrayed him. His parents were close to him, atleast somewhat, atleast his father was around enough to get sick of hearing owner of a lonely heart, and his mother was around enough to watch his father beat him and be silently horrified and ultimately not do anything about it, maybe she stepped in once and we just never saw it, but I wouldn't bet on it, Charles' mom is 'quiet' that's her defining feature to Charles not protective or gentle just 'quiet', then Charles gets to school and he is popular he has friends! He has people who care for him (or should maybe, as long as he's good at sports like he's needed to be) and then he stands up for one person, because he has always wanted to be good and maybe he trusts himself to do it just this once and his friends kill him and his own actions signed the death warrant and he cannot even trust himself to do the right thing properly (it never got better and then you died)

And maybe, maybe Edwin does it too, with less intention to hurt, and with less knowledge but Charles and Edwin trust eachother maybe more than anything (maybe Charles would sooner slip away from earth's gravity than stop putting his trust in Edwin who he thinks is good and smart and brills and aces) and maybe Edwin still looks at Charles trying to protect him after Charles has had maybe the worst week of his existence and says "that was a bit...... extreme" and Edwin still promises Charles can tell him anything while hiding himself in a way that makes Charles feel untrustworthy

So yeah I'll never stop thinking about the tragedy of Charles Rowland actually 👍 think about him with me

[violet-t-9]

Check in on my (not very realistic) wish list for episode 141

 1. Blooming Grove Clay family reunion! Hugs and tears! Home-cooked meal and tea! Much needed relaxation and downtime after saving the world.

Ay that was a nice meal and a good night’s sleep.

2. Widogast’s Nascent Nein (9!) Sided Tower because Caleb still has a spell slot for that! So many cats and books. Also, rooms for Essek and Molly (9!). Bonus: seeing more rooms on the 8th floor of the tower?

Oof well thanks Trent now we don’t get to see the tower again, ever. I’m 100% sure that Essek will see his room during the Aeorian study fun times and Luc and Yeza will see their rooms in magical summer camp with professor Widogast though, so I’m happy.

3. Check in and visiting Allura to return her staff and Kima’s Holy Avenger (”hey we saved the world killed Lucien stopped the city Allura are you proud of us? You are? Tell us who is on the Tal’Dorei council.”)

They mentioned it, but they didn’t play it out, unfortunately. Alas, the members of the Tal’Dorei council shall forever remain a mystery.

4. Check in and visiting Yussa and Wensforth to apologize for their last visit to the Tidepeak Tower and using his emergency exit plan, but Yussa being too grateful to be saved from a screaming city hivemind to care.

Yep, thank you Caleb for remembering Yussa lol. Should have known that he would want to study the Happy Fun Ball... Wizards sharing knowledge, how nice! Also, Veth’s goodbye to Wensforth was very sweet.

5. Molly getting more and more of his memory back and slowly becoming his old flamboyant self.

I... wow I mean I guess Kingsley? This technically happened? He is going to become someone new, which is always exciting! He got a lot of... interesting memories back too. He is also interested in learning about Molly’s memory too, even though he is somebody else (and just as flamboyant).

6. Caleb says goodbye to Frumpkin and there is either a sweet farewell or Frumpkin just goes “nah fam I choose my wizard you can’t get rid of me”.

Aw Frumpkin didn’t feel ready to leave at first... :( The actual farewell was indeed short and sweet, I loved it. 

7. Beau and Yasha moments, conversations, fun times, shameless PDA, or potentially fade to black because they deserve it.

Camping outside at night, aw. Their moment after the Zeenoth trial was very touching as well! “Yes, my love?” and “my Expositor” lol how romantic they are. They are planning to settle down and explore Yasha’s past together! Their honeymoon little trip! Also, “I will have you and then some” was indeed hot.

8. Jester and Fjord being domestic, adorable and sharing kisses/conversations or potentially fade to black because they deserve it.

The sleep snuggle was soo cute and Jester’s love admission was adorable! Also the rain and double confession wow Fjord what a romantic man. Their conversation in Nicodranas was sooo cute guys. They planned boat trips!

9. Caleb and Essek have a long one-on-one conversation about their “it’s complicated” relationship and have some more physical contact (still reeling from the forehead touch last episode).

Caleb attempting to include Essek in the globe of invulnerability and Essek dragging Caleb away from melee combat aw. The kiss on the cheek and the empathetic hug... I will take the time travel conversation as well. 

10. Veth, Yeza and Luc’s joyful/tearful family reunion and happy fun times in which Veth and Yeza may or may not celebrate in private.

Aw that was a nice reunion, so very cute. Veth gets to fully return home to her family after saying goodbye! I’m going to assume that she celebrates her return with Yeza in private. 

11. Cad’s moments with his family and also with Molly (because it’s fun to watch them on screen together and conversing let’s be real).

Caduceus gets to be with his family now, enjoying life at the blooming grove! He deserves the relaxation!

12. Jester’s reunion with her mother with big hugs and finding out that parent trap TM has succeeded thanks to her genius plans. Also, the gentleman being a super awkward but loving dad.

Yes I knew it would work! The gentleman is a nervous drinker confirmed lol. The mother-daughter talk was very nice and a great reminder!

13. The Mighty Nein plans for the future: getting rid of Cloven Crystal, Fjord visiting Vandran (with Jester probably, who discusses Tusk Love with him) and maybe Sabian? Yasha’s plan to bring flower to Zuala (trip with Beau?). Beau’s plans regarding Zeenoth’s trial (has that happend yet? Does she want to go?) and Caleb’s plans for the assembly (or even further ahead, magical school? Aeorian research with Kryn Colleague? How pissed is Ludinus Da’leth?)

Well, the empire siblings sure started a task force against the assembly huh. Also yeah Caleb you tell him, F**k your vacancy Martinet Ludinus Da’leth! Professor Caleb will teach Luc. Astrid would be more interested in the position anyways. Fjord got to visit Vandran with Jester and got him to join their sailing adventures! Jester also talks about Tusk Love with him wow. Beau testified against Zeenoth with Yasha by her side! Yasha gave flowers to Zuala on a trip with Beau! Caleb and Essek got to do their Aeorian research study! Fjord’s cloven crystal adventure was also addressed! I’m so good at predictions you guys I KID YOU NOT I predicted everything.

14. Getting an update about Astrid and Eadwulf to find out that they are in fact doing fine because Trent is in deep trouble and under heavy investigation by the Augen Trust and Cobalt Soul (bonus: Trent is already starting to get what he deserves. Or even better, Trent has died from liver failure in jail. Like his jaundice really kept getting worse so one can hope I guess?)

F**k you Trent, you just had to show up and ruin everything didn’t you. Well, Astrid and Eadwulf are fne now, and Trent IS in deep trouble and rotting in jail. Still hoping that he will die from liver failure after like, a few years.

15. Fjord officially “meeting the parents” and Gentleman/Marion giving Fjord the shovel talk because that didn’t happen last time.

Aw he didn’t go with! But the gentleman did talk about Fjord anyways lol and gave her some sound advice.

16. Wedding mentions/discussions? Proposals? Anyone? No?

Well Jester proposed to marry... her parents? Lol did not see that one coming. Veth and Yeza renewing vows yes! It was a nice suggestion. 

17. Artagan/sprinkle joins in the celebration because why not (bonus: Sprinkle gets to be free! Or whatever an undead weasel could be lmao)

Artagan and Jester’s conversation was very nice development for them. Sprinkle gets to stay forever, unfortunately for Sprinkle lol.

18. Obligatory wish for Essek’s fancy dunamancy or magical items (like I know we will never see dark star probably but I live for spell casting flavours).

Essek’s hold person on Trent was clutch, “stay down”, what a king. The tether essence, lightning bolt and gravity sinkhole were all wonderful. Still sad about the dark star never being seen though.

19. Obligatory wish for the polymorph spell (look, I just love it okay).

Hey, Jester threatened Astrid with it! Polymorph mention wins! Fjord was sad about the potential choice of turning her into a turtle but it would have been funny.

20. Obligatory wish for Caleb to use more fire/customized/dunamantic spells creatively or with nice flair (what’s sexier than wizards NOTHING).

What’s sexier than counterspells and dispel magic NOTHING. Also hey, the manacles of stasis worked!

21. Discussion about Essek’s future because oh boy can he even go back to the Dynasty? Have they found him out yet? If they did, how mad is the Bright Queen? Are Volstruckers too busy to chase him down? We need to know!

Oh man I mean Essek found a way to live freely at least! With a lot of illusions and identities, of course. He also got to stay in contact with the M9! I think he may show up in campaign 3!

22. Group hug! Group feast! Group cheer! I dunno, just do group stuff. They are the Mighty Nein, they are the Mighty Nine, they saved the world!

A lot of group hugs and feasts! I especially loved the hug when they said goodbye to Essek. 

23. Visiting/checking in with other NPCs or allies potentially! Like Kiri, Calianna, Twiggy, Keg, Shakasta, Bryce, Dagen oh also the Hag (I’m kidding).

They checked in with Orly! Not these allies but you know, Orly is awesome. 

24. Obligatory wish for everyone (the Nein, their friends/families) to get a happy ending that gives me a feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment, and that the episode/campaign ends with a poetically beautiful scene!

Yes, it was a very poetic and very beautiful story indeed

I love the Mighty Nein/Nine, I love the cast. I’m so grateful for their story in my life. Words are not enough to describe my thankfulness for being able to go on this journey with them.

Now excuse me I just need to go sob in a corner.

My score: 19/24

Seriously though check out #13 I’m proud of that one

Other Highlights: 

Caleb hit 100 HP OMG I too am proud of him.

Well I didn’t expect the boss fight but I’m glad we are getting one? 

Caleb’s produce flame was used by Veth on Fluffernutter, nice!

The Veth + Beau putting collar combo was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen, also there is something poetic about Caleb relying entirely on his friends and Astrid to carry out the collar tactic on Trent.

The forced empathy commands by Cad lmao wow angry Cad is scary, too bad Trent didn’t have any.

Veth’s silent image... Caleb disintegrating and burning everything in the T-dock... Caleb’s book for his parents... Professor Widogast... Excuse me I’m going to cry now.

[rosesgonerogue]

How to be a Dad 101

Chapter Four - Villain AU

Jasonette July Day Five

Masterlist

“Marinette, Alya is here!” Sabine called up the stairs.

“Thanks Maman, I’ll see you later!” Marinette called back, launching herself down. Sure enough, her best friend was waiting for her at the bakery’s front door. “Nino isn’t with you?”

“He’s helping Chris get all of the kids settled, the sucker,” Alya said, though Marinette couldn’t tell which Lahiffe boy was being called the sucker.

“Are we sure that Chris can handle all the kids at once?” Marinette asked, admittedly nervous.

“No,” Alya said matter-of-factly. “But Nora is going to drop in on then to make sure everything is okay.”

“But are you sure? I just feel bad, you know Jules has been biting. Maybe I should—”

“If you were going to finish that sentence with ‘stay with the kids,’ I will strangle you, Marinette. I love you girl, but it has been three months since I’ve gone somewhere and not taken a diaper bag with me, and I know it’s been way longer than that for you. Give me tonight.”

“Okay, okay, I get it, Alya,” Marinette said, holding up her hands. “I will leave things in Chris’s questionable hands.”

Alya softened a bit. “Look, I get it. Next time we’ll try to plan for a day when Manon is available, she’s really good with the kids.

“Deal. So have we heard if everyone is going to make it tonight?”

“Almost everyone. Adrien and Kagami might be a little late? Rose has a fundraiser she has to be at tonight, but other than that I think we’re a go.”

“Wow, it’s been a long time since we’ve all been together like this,” Marinette said. “It’ll almost feel like old times.”

“It sounds like Max is finally letting us meet his wife. I think Kim has a running bet on whether or not she’s a robot.”

“Kim is still on that? He’s probably just jealous that Max beat him to getting married even though he hasn’t known Camille very long.”

“Hold up girl, you know Max’s wife’s name?” Alya demanded. “Spill.”

“It was nothing much, I only know her because I made her wedding dress,” Marinette said, pausing at the sidewalk corner. “Do we go left or right?”

“Right. But how did you not tell me this?” Alya demanded.

“Even though we’re school friends, I still have to maintain a certain level of professionality. I can’t go tell Paris’s most promising reporter about one of the world’s most promising computer programmers personal life. Besides, Max really wanted to surprise everyone,” Marinette said, smirking. “The dress was one of my finest creations yet.”

“Fine, I suppose I can’t compromise one of the world’s most promising young designers,” Alya huffed. “But she has good taste? This gets more mysterious by the moment.”

“So who picked the place this time? I know we’re trusting Chris with the kids, but you know how Kim gets when we go to his bar, and I don’t know if I trust Chris to watch them all night because we got a little tipsy or something.”

“Well, it is at Kim’s bar, but don’t worry, he’ll be too distracted by Max, so we won’t even be tempted by all of the free alcohol. Besides, you always seem like such a pro at resisting temptation.”

Getting to Kim’s bar didn’t take long, even on foot. Once there, a good portion of their high school class yelled greetings from the back of the bar.

“Alya, Marinette! Good to see you, but where’s Nino?” Kim asked, opening the door for them.

“He’s helping Chris get the kids situated, he’ll be here soon,” Alya said, hugging the muscular man. “Is Max here yet? I hear we get to meet the wife.”

“Yeah, she’s way out of his league,” Kim said, jabbing a thumb towards the corner of the bar.

As much as Marinette had complained, she couldn’t help but smile upon coming into the bar. Kim had fallen into the role of bartender easily, amusing his patrons with tales of akumas and the Miraculous team – although tales of King Monkey were definitely the most popular. It was a clean, warm space, decorated with murals and framed newspaper clippings about any akuma incidents involving their class.

“You must’ve been desperate if Chris is babysitting,” Adrien said, sidling up next to her. “Manon was busy?”

“She had a study group,” Marinette said, bumping his shoulder with hers. While she considered Alya her best friend, Adrien still was, and always would be her partner, the black cat to her ladybug. He knew her mind in ways that no one else ever could. “You caught me. So what do you think of Max’s wife? I think she’s absolutely adorable.”

“Marinette, you knew about Max’s wedding?” someone yelled, positively betrayed.

“I think it’s time for s to join the others, but for the record I completely agree with you.” Adrien offered her an arm to escort her to the rest of the group. “By the way, Kagami says hello.”

“How is pregnancy treating your lovely wife?”

“Oh, the normal. The cravings, the irrational anger, average pregnancy-type things. The last time I mentioned you she nearly skewered me with a fire poker and told me that if I spoke about any other woman that way she would kill me where I stood. After that she cried for a few minutes because she missed you.”

“It sounds like I need to pay her a visit,” Marinette said brightly.

“So we’re just ignoring the part where my life was in danger, typical. I should have known that you would side with her,” Adrien pouted.

“You can complain to me when you’ve been pregnant,” Marinette said, patting his cheek.

“I’d like to think I’m a fairly decent husband, so I would say I’m allowed to be a little offended by threats of homicide.”

“No, that’s just pregnancy,” Nino said, his version of a grand entrance. “The more violent they are means you’re taking good care of them.”

By this point they’d gotten to the larger group, and Max’s wife, Camille, a sweet, auburn-haired woman, brightened. “Marinette, it’s lovely to see you again!”

“Wait, you really did know about this too, Marinette?!” Kim demanded.

“Client confidentiality, Kim,” Marinette said with a wicked smile. “Rose can’t make it, so everyone is officially here, Camille.”

“Oh, perfect,” she said, clapping her hands. “Max and I have an announcement to make!”

“Don’t tell me you’re already having a kid!” Alix groaned. “All of you are making it even more sucky to be single right now.”

“We came to invite you to our wedding,” Max said, pushing up his glasses.

“Excuse me, what?” Chloe asked.

“What we did before was just a little ceremony in England for Camille’s parents. Did you guys really think I could get married without all of you?”

There were a few beats of silence before chaos erupted. Kim had Max in a headlock while at least three of the girls were asking Camille about wedding plans. Nearby Alix was still sulking about being single.

When everyone settled down, Mylene said, “We’re getting old, aren’t we?”

“I’m going to die alone,” Alix lamented.

“We’re still in our twenties,” Marinette reminded her. “We’ve got time.”

“But if you’re still single how do any of the rest of us stand a chance?” she demanded.

“Oh yeah. Sometimes I forget that Marinette is still single because of the whole…” he waved his hand, indicating things he couldn’t put words to, “… situation.”

“Exactly!” Alix spat. “She’s perfect, she makes a perfect mother, and she’s handling everything better alone than any of us can with a significant other! I’m doomed!”

“But Marinette is still looking, just like you, Alix,” Mylene pointed out. “She just did things a little out of order.”

“And I’m not perfect, I promise you,” Marinette said with the weariness that could only be a product of parenthood.

“Is Jules still in a biting phase?” Sabrina asked.

“Unfortunately yes,” Alya said with that same weariness.

“Since we’re on the topic, what was the baby daddy even like?” Kim asked. “We haven’t heard much about him, and from what little I’ve heard, I can’t help but picture him as one of those old cartoon villains twirling his mustache and preying on young girls.”

“Villain works. Although I would have called him a lying, scheming—” Adrien cut off, glancing at the young parents he was situated between, Marinette in particular was known for body-checking people if they used any sort of questionable language regardless of if there was a child present, “-scheming meanie pants,” he finished lamely.

“It’s okay, Adrien, this is a safe zone,” Alya said, patting his shoulder. “You can tell them that Jason is a bastard.”

Nathaniel inhaled sharply, choking on his drink. “Wow… I just… What would you say about him, Marinette?”

“I wouldn’t call him that,” Marinette said, ignoring Alya and Adrien’s protests. “Really, I had no misconceptions about the way things were. We never gave each other our numbers, or even our last names. Something bigger than both of us brought us together, and I don’t regret it. If I’m lucky, maybe it will bring us together once more.”

The class fell silent until Alix groaned once more, burying her head in her arms. “I’M GOING TO DIE ALONE!”

Taglist: 

@jasonette-july-2k20 @ira-sairain @myazael @pawsitivelymiraculous @nik-nak-3 @dast218 @queen-of-the-trash-planet-tm  @vixen-uchiha @momothefemur @toodaloo-kangaroo

Note: 

I thought this chapter would barely meet the word limit I’ve set for myself, but that was not a problem. If you want to be tagged, or if I forgot to tag you, just leave a comment below. Also just leave a comment below regardless, I’ve been helping my family move all week and I need something to keep me sane. In all reality, though, I write like this mainly to improve my skills as well as get feedback on them, so I appreciate any comment you send my way. 

This story is also really different from what I normally write. Despite the premise, it’s WAY more slice of life than I’ve ever done long-term like this, so I especially want to hear your reactions on this! 

[gamerwoo]

Seventeen headcanon: Joshua as Nani and David’s son

from this svt as disney characters’ kids hc i did

a/n: i think there’s a second lilo & stitch or something like that but this isn’t based off of any of that since i haven’t seen it. but i think experiment 002 is in the series sooooo i guess it is kinda based off the series too

warnings: josh x female reader, hybrids, a small mention of death in the very beginning, mentions of bullying

-

So at first, Nani wanted Josh to be raised not knowing anything about aliens or experiments

It’s her first kid and she wanted him to be,,,,,”normal” for lack of a better word

But of course, that was very difficult, and Joshua ended up knowing about aliens around the time he was 2 or 3

David’s honestly impressed they even got that far tbh

“That’s all still a part of him,” David explained. “The aliens and the weird stuff, that’s just how his family is. We can’t keep him away from it.”

He even got his own experiment as a “pet” when he was about 5 or 6

Mrs. Hasagawa had passed away, and the experiments that she thought were ‘cats’ needed a home

Josh picked out experiment 002 aka Doubledip

He was a cute and essentially harmless (other than the fact that Joshua grew up basically sharing every single food he ate with Doubledip like ice cream and lollipops and stuff)

Josh nicknamed him DD and Double D, and they’ve been together ever since

As a kid, Joshua was super close with Lilo, Stitch, Jumba, and Pleakley

He absolutely adored all of them and always wanted to go hang out with them despite Nani being lowkey upset about it

“It’s fine, they’ll keep him safe,” David would always remind her. “They’re ohana after all.”

However, there reached a point where Joshua got bullied kind of like Lilo did

His norm wasn’t necessarily the norm for everyone else

No one else believed in aliens or experiments

No one else had the same thoughts and ideas that Joshua did

No one else was interested in the same things Joshua was

He knew he had to say DD was his dog, but he didn’t think that he would have to be a completely different person just to fit in

But that’s what he did

Instead of focusing on aliens and experiments, he focused on surfing

Thankfully, he was raised learning how to surf, but now that was his #1 interest

He stopped visiting his aunt and Stitch as often

The only real connection to his ‘weird’ side was DD because how could he just give up his childhood best friend?

Well, other than Seokmin

Seokmin was always the only person who ever knew what Joshua was truly like, and he even tried to stop Josh from changing himself to fit in

“I can literally grow a tail!” Seokmin pointed out. “I talk to a dolphin on a daily basis! I’m the king of weird, and I’m still a prince!”

“Yeah, but that’s normal in your kingdom,” Joshua pouted as he sat out in the ocean on his surfboard, talking with Seokmin. “Here, it’s not. Normal isn’t experiments and aliens and spaceships.”

So despite his best efforts, Joshua just became as average as possible, which he would have to see when they hung out on the beach and went for walks together

But in the ocean, Josh could say and do whatever he wanted without being judged

Like feeding Pudge the fish’s offspring

So since becoming less weird since he was a kid, Joshua got more friends, including the girl who worked at the froyo place he often hung out with Seokmin at

And pretty much everyone calls him Shua

Her name was Mali and she feared the ocean despite living a five minute walk away

He usually spends most of his time there so that’s how they met

He’s basically just a regular

And it’s at that froyo shop that Joshua’s life starts to change

“So y’know Seungcheol?” Seokmin asks

“Not really,” Joshua shrugs. “I just know you talk about him and he’s a prince of some other kingdom.”

“Right, well he’s having a birthday party this weekend, and I can bring a plus one. Since I don’t have a princess or anything to bring, I wanted to bring you.”

“Really? Why not like, one of those girls lined up to date you or whatever? What are they called?”

Joshua obviously isn’t royalty so he doesn’t know much about these things

But it’s fine because Seokmin doesn’t know anything about experiments or surfing either

“I don’t want to bring a date, I want to bring my best friend!”

“I thought your best friend was Kipper.”

“I can’t bring a dolphin on land, barnacle head.”

Cue Josh flinging his damp towel at Seokmin’s head and going, “Not cool, bro.”

And Mali sighing behind the counter about how, “We really need a sign that requires you to wear a shirt in here.”

So skip to Seungcheol’s party

Admittedly, Joshua is pretty nervous

He keeps trying on different clothes but all he really owns are shorts, t-shirts, tank tops, flip flops/sandals, and sneakers

He’s a surfer dude okay, he doesn’t really need to dress up for anything

“DD, does this look okay?”

DD simply ignores him and continues to lick the bowl of candy Josh keeps for him

David and Nani have to help him find something decent to wear

Although David insists he should wear something super fancy since Seungcheol is royalty

“So...is he a lion then, or...?” he keeps asking

And then Joshua has to explain for the hundredth time that he’s kind of a lion-human hybrid thanks to magic stuff and yadda yadda yadda 

Tbh, Josh doesn’t even get it

Seokmin finally picks him up, and they go to Seungcheol’s kingdom for the party

With David still asking questions even after they leave because he doesn’t understand this magic concept

And yet he understands aliens

Sort of

Josh is used to acting normal to fit in, but now he’s trying to act Extra Normal TM

But god he’s so curious because he’s never really been outside of Hawaii so he can’t help but just look around in wonder at all the sights and the people

And then Seokmin asked, “Do you wanna meet Seungcheol?”

“Like...the prince?” Joshua stammered

“You do remember that I’m a prince too, right?”

“Yeah, but-- DD!”

Joshua suddenly spotted his experiment trying to eat the cupcakes

He didn’t even know DD went with him, but he assumes the little experiment hopped into his backpack before he left

“So much for acting normal...” Seokmin mumbled under his breath before running over to help Josh with his little problem

Now, 002 wouldn’t be an issue, but his name is Doubledip

Essentially, all he’s going to do is lick all of the food before putting it back

If you couldn’t tell, that’s disgusting

So DD is loose at the party of a royal, and it would be all Joshua’s fault that the food is ruined

So the urgency to collect DD and get him back into Joshua’s backpack is very, very valid

Well, and the fact that Joshua wants to come across as normal as possible

Thankfully, DD only licked 5 cupcakes and 3 mini hot dogs wrapped in croissants before Joshua managed to stuff him back into his backpack and handed him a bowl of pretzels to keep him occupied

And it was as Joshua was zipping his backpack up that he accidentally bumped into you

You lived in Seungcheol’s kingdom, but you were one of the people who actually quite liked him

Since Seungcheol is Kovu’s son and Kovu was considered bad before, there’s some controversy over him but that’s another story for another time

You wanted a drink and he accidentally backed up into you

You spilled your drink a little but at least it didn’t get on your clothes

You both spun around and began apologizing even though you didn’t really do anything so you weren’t sure why you were apologizing

“I-I can get you a new drink!” he stammered

“It’s really fine,” you assured him with a polite smile.

But you’d never really seen either of them around, and you figured you should mingle a little since you were here, right?

“You guys aren’t from around here, are you?” you asked.

The one behind him stepped forward and smiled brightly, “Nope! I’m Prince Seokmin, the son of King Eric and Queen Ariel.”

“Oh! It’s an honor to meet you!” you bowed to him before looking expectantly at the one who’d bumped into you.

“That’s just Shua,” Seokmin shrugged. “He’s from Hawaii.”

But y’know what, just Shua from Hawaii was kinda cute

And he thought the same

Plus, you just seemed normal and that’s what he wanted

You were just wearing some jeans, a nice shirt, a cardigan, and a beanie

Compared to all the royalty and important people here, you were like a breath of fresh air

“Hey, Seokmin!” a new voice called

And Prince Seungcheol strolled over and grinned at the other prince he called his friend

“Oh, I see you’ve brought a friend -- and you met _____!”

Seokmin introduced the two and then the four of you continued to make some small talk

You were just thankful that Seungcheol didn’t say or do anything to blow your cover

He eventually walked away to greet other guests, leaving the three of you alone again

But you continued to talk

Seokmin kinda took the hint that he was a bit of a third wheel at this point and left to find someone else to talk to

He’s a prince and he knows other princes so it’s fine

He mumbled something about wishing someone named Wonwoo was there but you didn’t pay any attention to it

You talked about where he was from, what he did for fun, what his family was like and stuff

He may have slightly bullshitted and/or left out some things but it’s fine

You also talked about you and what you did and your family

You may have also slightly bullshitted and/or left things out but again, it’s fine

Eventually, Joshua asked if you wanted to dance since you’d been standing at the snack table just talking this whole time

And since Seokmin was a great wingman and took the bag with DD in it, he was safe to do whatever

So you agreed and the two of you danced and talked all night

And you were so worried when the party was over that you wouldn’t see him again

But he asked if there was any way he could see you again and your heart fluttered

And you said you were sure you could make that happen

You had to figure out what surfing was, anyway

But after that was all over and you went home and the butterflies had died down just enough for you to think about something other than your growing crush on Joshua from Hawaii

You remembered that you weren’t exactly who or what he thought you were

And now you had to keep that hidden from him

And you weren’t sure how long you could do that

And when Joshua was on the way home with Seokmin, who was happily talking all about how he got to see Hansol again and he finally got to meet Hyunggu and everything

DD popped out of the backpack with his bowl of now salt-less pretzels

And Joshua remembered that you didn’t know what he was really like

Or his family

And now he’d have to keep that a secret from you, too

So fast forward to the next weekend, and you were planning to visit him

Joshua was doing his absolute best to like, hide everything

Make sure Lilo, Stitch, and any of the others won’t be around

Make sure his cousin won’t be hanging around

Make sure DD is at Lilo’s

Meanwhile, you had to make sure you looked normal before you left

Which was basically just wearing normal bottoms and wearing a hat

So when you arrived in Hawaii, Joshua was there to eagerly greet you

Though he didn’t really seem it on the outside

He’s the stereotypical surfer dude so he’s just very chill overall

He basically had the whole weekend planned out

Most of it consisted of teaching you how to surf

“I actually hate the water,” you admitted as he walked with you down the beach toward the water

He chuckled, “Well, then you’ll hate surfing. It’s in the water”

So instead of surfing, he compromised and made sand castles with you on the beach

He said something about wanting to show you the joys of fresh coconut milk so you offered to climb up and get one

“Nah, it’s cool,” he chuckled. “It’s high up anyway.”

“I’m a great climber!” you reassured him

And then you climbed up a tree and got him a coconut

But then he had to open it himself which was a whole struggle by itself

And then he brought you to his favorite place to go after surfing: the froyo shop

“Make a new friend, Shua?” Mali smirked

“Be nice. This is _____, she’s from Seungcheol’s kingdom. You know him, right?”

“Kovu and Kiara’s kid, right?”

You noticed that Mali joked around with Joshua a lot, but it was very lighthearted

You liked her

He had to work that night but he invited you because he worked as a fire torch performer (dude fuck if i know the correct term) at a restaurant

Which also meant you got to meet his parents, David and Nani

“So you’re the girl he’s been talking about so much,” David grinned as he went to shake your hand

And then Nani gently whacked him in the shoulder and reminded him, “You weren’t supposed to mention that,” in a hushed tone

Which you heard

David only shrugged and gestured to you, “Well she’s blushing, isn’t she?”

Overall, you thought his parents were great

Though, they did seem a little strange

Then again, who were you to judge?

David would start to say something only for Nani to quickly cut him off

You decided to not think much of it

You did have to admit, watching Josh twirl fire around without burning anything or himself was impressive

Why did he have to seem so perfect?

Afterwards, he joined you guys for dinner

Nobody let the alien thing slip, so overall, he thought it went pretty good

He was really sad to see you go but you promised you’d come back again soon

And you did

The two of you actually saw each other a lot

And feelings on both sides only continued to grow

He did finally have to introduce you to Lilo and Stitch and DD, though

He knew he couldn’t keep them hidden forever, and besides, everyone still fell for the dog thing when it came to the two experiments

Well, Doubledip was originally supposed to be a ‘cat’ but whatever

And Josh just made Lilo swear to not talk about aliens or mention anything weird

“I really like this girl,” he explained to her, “so don’t mess it up”

“You know, I’m fantastic with girls!” Pleakley chimed in

Joshua quickly shook his head, “You and Jumba aren’t invited”

So eventually, you had met all of Joshua’s family

Well, he called it ohana and explained what it meant, and you thought it was really cute

He was happy to find that you did buy the dog story, and you really liked DD and you got along with Stitch

Tbh he was most worried about Stitch

DD gets along with pretty much anyone, but Stitch isn’t so easy

Things were going super well, so he was ready to ask you to actually be his girlfriend

He brought you on a nice picnic on the beach where the two of you first hung out

And he had everything laid out and the two of you were starting to eat, and he was going to ask

But then he heard his name being shouted from down the beach

Lilo was out and about with her daughter and Stitch

And Stitch was very excited to see you

He bolted down the beach toward you and jumped on you, knocking you back onto the blanket

And also knocking your hat off your head

Out popped your fuzzy white round ears

Stitch pulled back and looked at you, head cocked to one side

Joshua just froze and stared at you

Because you weren’t technically human

You were from Seungcheol’s kingdom, so you were an animal that used magic to stay human

That magic turned you into a human/animal hybrid, just like Seungcheol

But instead of being a lion, you were a lemur

It was why you wore hats to hide your ears and jeans and skirts to hide your tail

It was why you didn’t like water

It was why you could climb trees so well

You weren’t normal

And now Joshua knew that

“I-I gotta go,” you quickly stuttered out, grabbing your hat and scrambling to get up

“_____--”

You shook your head, jamming your hat back on your head to conceal your ears, “Save it, I already know what it is.”

“B-but you’re-- What are you...?”

“I’m a lemur, alright?” you huffed, tears pricking your eyes because you knew Joshua was not going to want anything to do with you

Even though you were a human and could stay human, you couldn’t get rid what you really were

It was weird, and people didn’t like weird

“You don’t have to say anything about it,” you continued as you tried your best to keep from crying, “because I already know you’re going to say I’m weird and you won’t want anything to do with me. So I’ll go and I won’t bother you again. And...I’m sorry for not telling you.”

And then you ran up the beach, not looking back once

Joshua sighed and dropped his head, closing his eyes as he rubbed over his face with his hands

Stitch just looked up at him and said, “Oops...”

Heartbroken, Joshua walked back home alone

Nani and David knew what he was planning, so they were so excited for him to get home

But seeing him with a frown as he threw the half-empty picnic basket on the counter before going to his bedroom without a word, they knew something was wrong

“I’ll take this one,” David told her before going to Joshua’s room

David knocked softly before entering to find his son face down on his bed

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No,” he mumbled into his pillow

“Did...she say no?”

“I didn’t even get to ask, dad,” he sighed, lifting his head to look at David

“Did something come up?”

“Stitch tackled her and knocked her hat off and she...”

How was Joshua supposed to explain this?

He could deal with aliens and experiments, but human animals were something he hadn’t dealt with before

Would his dad even believe him?

“What? She got a weird haircut or something?” David chuckled

“She had fuzzy animal ears,” Joshua finally told him straight-out. “She’s an animal that’s human by magic.”

“Ah, right. That stuff you explained before. Y’know, Nani had to tell me how that worked like, seven times before I really got it.”

Joshua just let out a groan and dropped his head back in his pillow again

David sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, “Who are you to judge? You keep an experiment as a pet -- and worse, it licks everything you eat.”

Joshua pushed himself to sit up and sat beside his dad, “That’s not it, dad. I still like her, it’s just--”

“I thought you wanted a ‘normal’ girl, though?”

He just shrugged, “I like her. But she ran away before I could tell her. Besides, I’m way weirder...”

“Then if you like her for being a little different, why can’t you be okay with yourself being different?”

“A little?”

“Do you think being an animal is only a little different?”

And it’s that talk that caused Joshua to go after you

He packed up the photo of his ohana that he kept on his nightstand

And he packed DD

And he left for Seungcheol’s kingdom

You were obviously just as upset, if not more, back home

The silver lining was that you could wear your usual pants which had a hole cut in them for your tail to comfortably stick out

You wanted to spend the next day just sulking

But you ended up being called to Seungcheol, claiming there was someone who needed to talk to you

Joshua got Seokmin to bring him to Seungcheol’s because he realized he had no idea how he’d find you

And walking into Seungcheol’s throne room, Joshua was the last person you expected to see

“Sh-Shua? But...w-what are you--”

“I like you,” he blurted before you could finish what you were saying. “I like you with your ears and your tail because you’re still you. But before you say anything, just... These are things you should know about me, too.”

He opened his bag, and out popped DD

“Double D isn’t my dog. He’s an alien experiment from outer space, and the only thing he knows how to do is double dip foods, and lick things before putting them back. He’s stupid, and I love him”

Then he pulled out a framed picture and handed it to you

You looked it over and saw it was Joshua, Nani, David, Lilo, Lilo’s two kids, Stitch, DD, and some...things you didn’t recognize

“That’s my whole ohana. It’s not just the people I let you meet.”

He told you all about the aliens included in the photo, and you listened, glancing between the picture and him

And when he was done, you just stared at him because honestly, you didn’t suspect him to be anything but normal

But for some reason, maybe because he could relate to you, you liked him even more

Neither of you were considered ‘normal’ so didn’t that make you an even better match?

“I just...wanted you to know that before you decided to never speak to me again,” Joshua concluded

You weren’t sure what to say even though you knew exactly what you wanted to say

You just didn’t really know how to say it

“This is the part you tell him you still like him, too,” Seungcheol whispered in your ear

While Seokmin was Joshua’s wingman, apparently Seungcheol became yours

“I like you, too,” you told him with a sheepish smile, feeling your cheeks heat up

Joshua’s grin matched the brightness of the sun

“So...you wanna go out sometime?” Joshua asked

To which Seokmin whispered, “You’ve already done that before. Just ask her to be your girlfriend, kelp-for-brains”

So he does

And you accept

The next time you visit, you properly meet his ohana

Jumba and Pleakley definitely take a little getting used to but you do think they’re pretty amusing with the way they bicker

“They’re like an old married couple!”

“Don’t say that in front of Jumba, though”

You visit him all the time

So often that sometimes you just spend weeks there at a time

You eventually work your way up to being able to sit on Joshua’s board while he surfs

He makes sure to only go on baby waves so that way you don’t fall over or get wet

You befriend Mali at the froyo shop, and despite roasting Joshua sometimes, she always says how cute the two of you are

And the two of you live happily ever after

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #400

“it’s an age-old story: the first will be last, and the last will be kings  /  the small will be great, and the great will be weak”

Who was the last person you sincerely thanked? My mom; I thank her every time she cooks for me/us, and I really do mean it. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed as a guest at someone’s house? Somewhere around a month. What was the last thing to really surprise you? My brother has a fiancee and is having another son! :') Have you ever found out that you have been sleep walking? No. Have you ever tried making something from one of those short cooking videos? How did it turn out? No. Have you ever written a review for a product you bought online? No. What was the last thing you had the urge to do? Idk about anything notable. Is there anyone you feel that takes you for granted? No. What is the last thing you had a craving for? A donut. Do you ever read the comments on social media posts? Sometimes. What was the last thing you felt like you wasted money on? It's so rare that I buy things with my own cash that I really don't know. What was the last thing you wanted to buy, but couldn’t afford? Venus' terrarium on my own. Mom has to help me with buying it. What is a recipe you’d like to try to make for yourself? I don’t cook, so. What goes through your mind when you look back at old photographs of yourself? More than anything, I get sad over how much weight I've gained. I was so healthy once upon a time. It also just makes me miss my childhood. What was the subject matter of the last email you sent? I believe it was about setting up an appointment with my therapist. How do you get your news? Facebook articles, really. What do you think about lizards? I love them! I was that kid that always tried to catch them when I saw 'em. Now I just observe because I don't want to terrify them by trying to pick them up. Have you ever done consumer testing (testing products before they come out on the market)? If not, would you ever want to? No, but sure, I'd do it. Have you ever received anesthesia or morphine? Both. The time I received morphine, it did jack-all for me. If you had to choose which video game to be in, which would it be? Hmmm... I would say Azeroth from World of Warcraft, but too much shit goes down, ha ha. Perhaps the top of the temple in Shadow of the Colossus? So long as I could have someone I love with me, I'd be in Heaven. Although... I doubt there's WiFi there, so I might drop that answer, lmfao. I really don't know. Between the two, would you rather live in a place where it’s only night or where it’s only day? Day. I need the natural light of day sometimes, and if I wanted to sleep, I could just find shade. If you had to be an actor/actress in a movie, what genre of the movie would you be best at? Fantasy. Out of fire, earth, water, wind, light, and dark, which element appeals the most to you? Dark. What’s one thing that you wish was real? Friendly dragons, haha. Is there anything (show, comedian, etc.) that you constantly quote or make references to? No. What’s your favorite Disney Channel movie? I have absolutely no idea. I don't even remember almost any of them. What’s your favorite holiday? Christmas. Do you ever have to do yard work? No. Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? Yes. Did/do you listen to Britney Spears songs? Yeah, sometimes. I genuinely don't mind her. Do you still make Christmas lists? Yeah, because I'm asked to. Do you watch the show Dexter? Never seen it. Which musical instrument do you think sounds the prettiest? I'm torn between the violin, harp, and piano. Is your mom or dad the older parent? Mom, by a year. Do you and your parents like any of the same bands/singers? A lot, actually. Is there any food in your bedroom? What? I have these tictacs I keep in my purse in case of a dry mouth. Medication makes me have that severely, and my psychiatrist recommended me to always have a hard candy available to suck on since it forces salivation. Do you know anyone who has road rage? Who? My younger sister, badly. How far away do your grandparents live from you? They're all dead, but they lived in far away states. Do you know anyone who wants to be the president one day? No. What kinds of chips are in the cupboards? None. It's a bad idea to keep chips in this house, haha. Do you have your mom's or dad's hair? Well, I was born with dirty blonde hair like my dad, but my hair is thick and more similar in color now to my mom's before the cancer completely drained the color. If you were going out with your celebrity crush, what would you wear? OH MY GOD LA;KSDJFAKLWJE I DON'T KNOW I LOOK AWFUL IN EVERYTHING. Have you ever cried when a teacher retired? Teared up, yes, multiple times. Do you swear and yell while playing video games? I might swear under my breath, but that's the extent of it. If you were adopted, would you want to know? At this point in my life, I don't really know. I kinda find myself leaning towards no. Has a best friend ever ditched you for a girlfriend/boyfriend? Pretty much. Do your pets chase after bugs? Roman sure does. When’s the last time you were so excited you couldn’t sleep? Why? I want to say that was the night before I was getting my tattoo redone. Do you own any flip-flops? Yeah, considering they're like... all I wear, ever. Did you ever really believe that the stork brought babies? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever had a dream about sleeping with a celebrity? (You don’t have to give details.) It was the only lucid dream I've ever had and I'm not complaining about it lmao. Have you ever had a dream that upset you or made you cry? Oh I'm sure. Has anyone ever told you that they needed you? Do you think they meant it? Not to my recollection, no, and I don't believe you should ever adopt that mentality and say that to someone. Do you own a laser? No. Is there anything you like to put on a sandwich, that some might find odd? Nah. I do enjoy a layer of potato chips on some sandwiches, like ham and cheese, but I know that's like an actual thing some people just like. What colour are the shoes you wear most often? They're black flip-flops. When was the last time you were required to put on a mask? In the morning when I go to the TMS office. And what colour was the last mask you wore? It's one of those normal blue and white medical ones. The last time you were in a queue, what were you waiting for? To see the woman who would give me my APAP mask. Have you had your Covid vaccine yet? Which one, if you have? Yes, Moderna. If you've had your vaccine, did you experience any side effects? None for the first shot, but my second shot bruised badly and I felt seriously shitty the following day. I was perfectly fine afterwards, though. Can any of your friends sing well? Which one has the nicest singing voice? Sara has an AMAAAAAAAAAAAZING voice. When was the last time you wore make-up, if ever? What shades/colours? I don't even remember, but I'm sure it would've been black. What is something that seems popular, but doesn't interest you personally? Fashion, various TV shows, etc... Are you clumsy or graceful? I am STUPID clumsy. Like it's just ridiculous. Do you like gloves? I like fingerless gloves. Does your sibling(s) have braces? My older sister did as a kid. Do you ever say "OMG" in person? No; it's a random pet peeve of mine, "Internet talk" irl. What was the last thing your parents got mad at you for? Dad, no idea. Mom, uhhhh. Not "mad," but "annoyed" probably better fits how she felt about me leaving the heating pad I use for my cramps on the floor. Do your pets have favorites? I'm definitely Roman's favorite seeing as he is my literal shadow, and I'd assume Venus trusts me more than anyone else, but realistically, she's in contact with almost no one else, so. Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Why did you break up? The first guy to have the title of "boyfriend" was Aaron, and I broke up with him 'cuz I just wasn't as romantically into him as I thought I might be. It was puppy-dog love, and I feel I knew that. My first *real* boyfriend was Jason, who broke up with me because my mental illnesses began to affect his wellbeing. Which I now accept is fine, but he seriously coulda gone about things differently... When was the last time you got a new bed? Is your bed comfy? Late into my teenage years; idk the exact age and don't feel like doing the math. Teddy kept peeing on the bed to where it was just unrecoverable and needed to be thrown away. My current bed is comfy enough. What kind of games did you play on the playground when you were younger? My absolute favorite was digging tunnels in the sandbox, pretending to be a meerkat. The only trend I ever created, haha, seeing as my classmates got into it with me, allowing us to make huge tunnel systems. It was really cool. I also liked playing 4 Square (which I now don't even remember the details of) on the basketball court. Do you remember the first time you ever drove a car? Who were you with? Yeah, my driver's ed instructor and the guy who was on the same route as me. What’s your favorite thing to do when drunk? Would you do this sober? N/A Are you a fan of dogs? Do you have any as pets? I'm picky with dogs. I like interacting with any dog, but I don't plan on ever owning another. I don't like how hyper they can be, and I prefer more independent pets, like cats. Basically, I'll be hyped to meet a random dog on the street and give it some loving, but I don't want to take it home to be my own. Are you an elitist (even a little bit) when it comes to anything? What? No. I cannot stand elitists. Is just being fond of something enough, or does it take more than that to be a ‘real fan’? And I hate gatekeeping in fandoms even more. There are varying intensities of "being a fan," but regardless, if you like something, congratulations, you're a valid, "real" fan. What type of fabric is most comfortable for clothing? I don't pay attention to this, honestly. If you wear one – bras with or without a wire? I'll wear either, but without is way more comfortable. If you wear one – are you able to find cute bras in your size? God no. What length do you like your shorts to be? I don’t wear shorts. What was the last disappointing movie you saw? Warcraft, but not because it was bad. I've talked before how in the theater, the orcs' voices were just so fucking baritone that I couldn't understand almost ANYTHING they said. Kinda ruined the experience for me. What was the last disappointing book you read? Don't recall. Do you ever watch compilation videos? Of what? Very rarely. If I do, they're mostly of animals being silly. Favorite Disney character who isn’t royalty? Probably Dory, but idk. There's WAY too many options to fish through.

[vixxenfox]

Things I’ve noticed after watching the pilot over and over again

And things I just find amusing

- is it just a coincidence that when Charlie says “I wonder if it could be me” the center angel’s face lights up?

- not important but the “F*ck you heaven!!!” Sign is hilarious

- I hate Valentino with a burning passion, look at him texting Angel

- people drop from the sky to get to hell, more importantly without clothes which means each flippin person has to get specially made clothes for their weird demon bodies like sir pentious needs clothes to fit his snake body and stuff... idk just interesting

- the place beside the “we couldn’t come up with a catchy slogan but we sell hardcore drugs” building is called “begg slut”

- imagine dying, going to hell, and realize that you’re an egg

- egg #23 is the best

-one of the eggs like does a weird walk thing with their hand on sir pentious’ tail

-Cherri Bomb’s clothing is so asymmetrical and I love it like she is literally wearing a high-heel boot on one leg and like a tiny shoe on the other

- really just poor Tom he’s great

- Vaggie says “it’s all highlighted” but none of what we are shown is highlighted

- Also read the parts of the list we can see, it’s adorable

- “I don’t touch the gays” I find Katie great

- Jeffrey Dahmer obviously (Also the sticky note saying “who approved this show?)

- When Charlie scans the crowd another tv head just says ‘words’

-The person Vaggie punches isn’t in the crowd

- I love Razzle and Dazzle TvT

- Those two owl demons in Inside Every Demon is a Rainbow are most definitely references to Timber

- CHARLIE YOU JUST KILLED A PUPPY

- I love that there is a boo section

- Tom watches Angel Dust’s stuff confirmed

- I love the sonic spring noise when Angel launches an egg into the air

- Sir Pentious probably has a son that might be in hell so look out for another snake

- Do you see how happy Cherri Bomb is near Angel Dust, best friends! :D

- Aawww Angel pushes Cherri out of the way

- Angel didn’t just sprout a third set of arms, he also pulled an entire gun out of his body sooo... what’s with that

- I think you would just stop existing if you died in hell Angel

- That creepy fan has a body pillow of Angel

- Charlie takes off her pink... jacket(?) in one scene and the next she has it on again (you see her wearing pink in the closeup)

- Lilith is an absent mother

- There goes everyone’s fanon about how Lucifer acts (why couldn’t we get a nice stupid one T~T)

- I think they changed Alastor’s knock but I’m too lazy to check

- They fixed Alastor’s disappearing monocle

- I like that the mic has an eye sometimes it’s cool (how many “sentient-ish” things does Alastor’s have, first the shadow and now this)

- Alastor can teleport at least short distances and he appears as the shadow for a second

- They really make Alastor a very animated character and I love it

- (we knew this already but) Alastor clearly puts himself on a different level than the other sinners, he thinks of himself as justified and better (he doesn’t say “us sinners” he says “loathsome sinners” w/o him in the picture)

- Valentino, Rosie, Lilith (obviously), the girl from the porn studio, and the tv head dude (Vox, thanks @lavipsi) are all some of hell’s “strongest demons”

- TV head (Vox) is in the middle and top so he must be very powerful and behind him there’s also a green and red demon that reminds me of the wolf/fox demon from the bar scene

- Husk is very blocked out by Vaggie’s face but he’s clearly in the picture with Alastor (it looks like a fight but I don’t want to assume) like we know they know each other and stuff but it’s just weird that Husk is in the art when Vaggie says he’s “a dangerous Blahblah” and has entire speech of how dangerous he is

- I love the symbols that float up when Charlie isn’t looking and then the squeak as he turns to a more “innocent-like” Alastor when Charlie looks back

- Alastor rolls his eyes at Charlie when she says “No trickster, voodoo strings attached.”

- Talked about this before but the way his smile gets wider when Charlie says “for as long as you like”

- Why does Charlie have at least 2 posters about alcohol up if she didn’t want it in her hotel?

- I love how Niffty comes in and her bug-like noise when she appears

- You can see their reflection in Niffty’s eye during the closeup and Charlie is too adorable in it, Angel and Vaggie look ready to kick her out XD

- Everybody’s reactions to Niffty rambling on is beautiful, just watch them go from defensive to confused

- Alastor just following Niffty’s every movement as she zooms around

- Please tell me I’m not the only one who didn’t immediately see Husk as a cat? I honestly thought he was a dog for a while because he looks sort of like a Husky and his name is Husk, which got me thinking about the contradictions with Alastor not liking dogs... then I realized Husk was a cat.

- “are you sh!tt!ng me” “no I don’t think so” and “you think I’m just some clown” “..maybe” are some of my favorite lines

- Was I just supposed to know that on the bottom of Alastor’s boots (shoes? Hooves?) there were deer prints?

- So did Alastor really just teleport two sinners and basically copy part of the bar Husk was at and it’s just going to be there forever? Like you can see where the bar’s like territory ends because it’s walls are green while the hotel’s is red

- No like seriously Alastor you can copy a part of a bar but you can’t make the walls match the rest of the hotel’s walls?

- Husk seems slightly taller than Alastor

- Also Husk also has yellow teeth and if we go by Alastor’s teeth are yellow because he’s a cannibal, Husk might have been a cannibal when he was alive

- Husk clearly knows Alastor, he’s not afraid of him (to an extent, he was still a little shaken by the... Sir Pentious thing). Husk obviously voices his complaints without restraint and isn’t afraid of Alastor hurting him (I guess), and even when he was shaken up he was still the second person to follow Alastor back to the hotel.

- The entire relationship between Husk and Alastor is very intriguing to me! Husk doesn’t fear Alastor, Alastor called him a friend (obviously another jab at Husk but still), and they were in the same picture when Vaggie talked about Alastor being dangerous. I’m guessing they were probably friends once, maybe the picture is them both fighting another demon or fighting each other in like a fall-out.

- Vaggie is very exaggerated when she’s complaining about the bar and it’s beautiful

- Husk in the background as a still image just chugging booze is beautiful

-Angel’s angry face as Vaggie complains about the bar just before he leaves to lunge at her is beautiful and my favorite face

- 27:46 Alastor flipping FLUTTERS HIS EYES AT VAGGIE and you can hear a small sound effect of it and I just thought that was beautiful

- At the same moment Charlie is just rubbing her cheeks and it’s cute

- Right before Alastor starts singing, he throws some red... fire in the air and Charlie follows it with her eyes and she just so awed by it

- The fireplace in the background has an eye and a top hat above it and it just reminds me of Sir Pentious

- Alastor’s song has so many Friends on the Other Side vibes and I love it

- There are so many Christian symbols (and Satanic symbols) in the background of this song and I just don’t want to spend that time looking at each one :l

- Alastor’s shadow is also here further nailing the Friend on the Other Side vibe (not to mention the other shadows and voodoo doll things)

- Poor Niffty, she should never get hurt

- When Sir Pentious is talking and it shows the chibi characters, Charlie, Angel, and Niffty are looking at Alastor and when it zooms in for a split second Angel’s face is the most innocent bab ever

- There’s a building in the background with (again) one eye and a top hat, there’s also a cat building right next to it

- You can see heaven as a planet with a halo...

- There’s also a sun(?) or moon(?) or planet(?) with a pentagram on it

- I know that Egg Boi #OUCH is just a joke, but what if after 666, Sir Pentious just started giving them stupid names like that?

- Again, religious symbols float around Alastor that I’m not going to look into because I’ve taken so much time T_T

- Niffty is actually unfazed by Alastor summoning tentacles and destroying Sir Pentious’ ship. Really she has a normal smile and face and she immediately follows Alastor when he walks back to the hotel

- Angel is still flirting with Husk

- Charlie reassuring Vaggie is adorable

- Are we not going to talk about the carousel and gigantic steam boat that’s just protruding from the hotel

- I also love how the windows at the top of skull designs <3

- There’s an eye on the top of the building and the sign of Happy/Hazbin Hotel could also look like a top hate (why are there so many one-eyed top hats like Sir Pentious’...?)

- Stay tuned TM

- Not from me but, Alastor changes the name to Hazbin Hotel and Hazbin means something that was great before but is terrible now or something that is meaningless

- So Alastor liking terrible jokes is now canon? The dad joke thing wasn’t just a stream thing, it’s actually canon?

- Alastor actually has a red ‘X’ on his forehead, you can see it right after he destroys Sir Pentious’ ship

- The art in the credits shows Cherri Bomb having a tattoo

- I would like to talk a little about the design that’s in the background during the credits. So in the middle is an apple that’s being held by two sharp hands, there are three snakes coming out of it with only one snake fully out but still seems to have originated from the apple. The snake that’s completely out is on the top and has some designs around it that emphasize it, making it look more like a king (the devil, duh). The other two snakes are going down (probably referencing Adam and Eve maybe? Even though they also seem evil I just think of Adam and Eve.) Under them is another snake head. There are two sets of eyes around the top snake, one set has a line going down the middle of each eye like a scar while the bottom set has eyelashes. Even though the bottom set looks more “girly”, it reminds me of Lucifer because of the dots under them. If you want to grasp at straws the complete bottom snake’s tongue sort of looks like the bottom part of the symbol of Lucifer. The three snakes that clearly originate from the apple in the middle can also look like “Three snakes and one charm” if you squint. The symbol above the top snake looks like the infinity symbol combined with the cross, but it’s not the leviathan cross, so maybe just eternal... crucifixion?

- The smoke coming from the pit that Alastor made has souls in it

- I think #23 is depressed because he really wants to be shot... and he was just sitting there next to a bunch of dead hims

- Vivziepop said on a stream something about Lucifer being “generally goofy, but it depends on his voice” or something like that, please correct me if I’m completely wrong. This makes me things that Lucifer is going to have multiple voice actors.

-The Loading Crew “Everything We Know About Hazbin Hotel” brings up a point that it seems like the only things that can kill demons and sinners are the Exterminators’ weapons which are sometimes left behind that demons scavenge, Vaggie also appears to have one. I recommend watching his video, it’s very quick but also brings up points I haven’t addressed. 

And yeah, that’s all for now! ^_^ comment if you have something else to add or think I should change something

[janiedean]

What are your thoughts on Sansa becoming queen in the north?

+

I know you said you were gonna shut your mouth about Sansa but I've been dying to know what you think of her queen in the north moment T_T

*deep breath*

okay guys I waited a few days to see if my feelings somehow mellowed, if anything the contrary happened so at this point I’ll just go with it.

premise: book!sansa is one of my favorite characters. show!sansa is imvho not at all her book self anymore and I have disliked her writing and openly said it since S5 so please don’t take this as bashing because it comes from loving sansa, not the contrary. if you liked that scene or thought she had a nice ending please stop reading now and skip this post.

this say: I hated it, I hated how they framed the starks’s ending and I loathed how she was written this episode even moreso than this entire season which is saying all. specifically:

of course no one held her accountable for having betrayed jon’s trust and basically pulled a lf on him, but then again she had to be framed by the narrative as ‘she was right’ re dany which I found... really... in bad taste because I don’t think book!sansa would have ever done it, but I wasn’t expecting that;

her asking bran for nothern independence when the iron islands and dorne have been wanting them for centuries and no one batted an eyelid and it went like WELL SURE THE NORTH IS INDEPENDENT GO AWAY WE’RE COOL esp. when the king is a stark is out of this world ridiculous, but never mind that;

the fact that she basically went ‘lol shut up’ at edmure, her UNCLE, who has been hostage for years, who was the only arse lord in these books who risked a lot to have the smallfolk inside his castle and save them when everyone thought he was too *soft* and it was a bad political movie, when her mother’s house words are fucking FAMILY DUTY HONOR, in that frankly unsufferable smug way, about made me lose every last inch of fucks I had when it came to giving her writing some leeway. like, sansa stark ‘courtesy is a lady’s armor’ does that to her goddamned uncle who has literally bled and lost family members for her family and who ended up caught in the red wedding to help robb and cat and who has been a hostage for years also because he sided with them......... and she doesn’t even let him talk? when excuse me but he wouldn’t also have been a bad choice whatsoever at least he cares about the people? like fuck that noise that was it for me, that’s not sansa, that’s a bodysnatcher they made out of cersei/lf and dusted with some vague book characterization when they remember it and forgot it, and honestly I’m not here for that.

on the queen in the north scene:

.... it was fucking depressing?

and ooc?

I mean, I should believe that sansa stark, who in the books has spent all the time wanting her family back, who wants to name her children like her brothers, who does want children, who wants still her brave strong and gentle knight (btw, GOOD JOB FORGETTING THAT ROMANCE IS AN ESSENTIAL PART OF SANSA’S SL and that half of it is about finding out that *beauty* on the outside =/= inside, but hey, we went for the feminist TM narrative where strong women need no men and we forgot that it’s a fundamental part of what sansa wants), who only wants to go back home and be with her family........ gets her crowning achievement becoming queen in the north at a coronation where there’s literally no face she knows present, where her family isn’t present, where she’s utterly and totally alone doing the ice queen business when she’s not an ice queen in canon, with no friends at her side and no relatives and........ nothing? that’s it? I should be happy she’s on her own ruling the north without her sister or brothers or anyone she knew because she got her badass crowning moment and the north is independent when literally no stark in these books wanted it ned first and robb later, robb only took it because they elected him and couldn’t say no? because......... that was the only way for her to come out on top and having a throne is it when the entire underlying messages of these books is that thrones don’t mean shit and political power on your own is useless and corrupts you if you want it specifically and no one helps you with it?

sorry but I can’t buy that. I cannot. not at all. that’s not the character I signed up for, I didn’t sign up for the starks getting scattered in all four winds as if they don’t care at all for seeing each other again ever (THE PACK SURVIVES WHEN???), and the fact that it was a beautifully shot scene doesn’t mean I liked it for one second.

also: this entire thing reeks of a book storyline they most likely cut off with ten hatchets. specifically, that robb’s will exists and it had disinherited sansa and arya and made jon heir thinking bran and rickon were dead. like, you know what’s way more likely to happen? that jon gets hailed kitn because ROBB MADE HIM IT, davos shows up with rickon who DOESN’T DIE, jon then gets the show ending because that actually felt like a thing grrm might do, bran gets it the same (I’ll rant on it in another ask I’ll reply to asap) even if better-written, and sansa, who at this time has managed to come back to wf, has come into herself and has her family, stays there being rickon’s regent along with arya unless arya gets with gendry which I also think is endgame (this stark/baratheon marriage has to happen or not??) and plays a leading role without this bullshit single ice queen in the north storyline, possibly along with whoever it is the brave strong and gentle knight she ends up with, because that is not a thing d&d have realized, but a lot of *good* and strong female characters in these books have storylines that revolve about getting both what they want and the romance, but apparently it makes people weak? we just don’t know. that is a *sansa rules* ending that would make sense to me. not whatever the hell I watched in the finale, and believe me I’ll forever dislike it. the only good thing about it tangentially was that they didn’t drag brienne into it, and that’s everything I have to say on this subject. sorry but it wasn’t earned, it was built on giving her someone else’s storyline and on forcing sansa into being basically the nice/ethical version of cersei/lf and ignoring 85% of the themes in her arc and giving her an ending that’s all the contrary of what her book self wants, and I can’t bring myself to like it.

also, the edmure thing was really out of this world the most ooc thing in existence and if edmure doesn’t talk to her for the rest of his life no one would blame him, me first of all, and sure af catelyn tully was tearing her hair out in the afterlife asking herself where did her daughter end up. end of story.

ps: I know this is an unpopular opinion and I don’t have much interest in discussing it any further, so like.... take it for what it is. sorry but whichever way I look at it I can’t find any positives in it. :/

[florafey]

Thoughts on TWK

I started reading The Wicked King on 24 Jan. 2019, and finished about half an hour ago on 27 Jan. 2019. I decided to make an all-inclusive list of my thoughts/theories as I read. Here they all are. 

Spoilers, of course, are under the cut.

- When did the prologue take place? I was thinking it was directly after the happenings of The Cruel Prince, and it caught my neck when it wasn’t. 

- “His most ostentatious decoration, however, is his soft, sullen mouth.” Lmaoo Jude, girl you in lOOovEE hehehe

- Jude is probably right to not trust Grimsen because I don’t either, but it’s too bad CARDAN doesn’t LISTEN

- Jude seems to have fallen into authority really naturally, giving orders to Faeries as though she isn’t viewed as lesser. She’s turning into a protagonist you have a love/hate relationship with and Black is writing that extremely well in my opinion

- I think the Roach teaching Cardan how to steal is amazing and it will certainly come in handy later on it did, believe me

- Jude burning her stuffed animals is so DramaticTM but go ahead, girl

- I don’t like Locke, I don’t like Locke, I don’t like Locke at all

- “Kiss me again. Kiss me until I am sick of it.” SHE SHOULD HAVE DONE IT DAMMIT JUDE

- Jude seems to always tell Cardan before she commands him which is super respectful for someone she’s supposed to loath

- “The last room Cardan occupied caught fire....let me rephrase, it caught fire because he lit it on fire.” I’m sorry, I was rolling, that was hysterical

- Jude and the Bomb lying on the High King’s bed together to “see if its safe” and teasing each other about crushes only for the Bomb to actually open up to Jude and trust her ??? Wow okay wasn’t ready for those feels

- I don’t like Locke, I don’t like Locke, I don’t like Locke at all

- Cardan really stole Jude’s ruby ring I’m DEAD that was kinda petty

- When Locke tried to humiliate Jude at the Hunter’s Moon, only for her to take the attention and OWN it...a bitch was shook. That was such a power move on Jude’s part. I have one (1) Queen and her name is Duarte

- I was on page 173 where I had known about Cardan’s mother being imprisoned for approximately .27 seconds and I already couldn’t wait to see what unfolded with her

- Eva’s child was destined to be a greater weapon than even Justin could forge......mmmmmmm that child is for sure Jude 

- “He survived on cat milk?” that was a little sad and a lot funny, sorry sorry

- BAPHEN SEES A NEW MONARCH COMIIIIIIIING (IS IT JUDE HERSELF OR IS JUDE PREGNAAAAANT????)

- Cardan sitting sideways in his throne with his leg thrown over the armrest is a Big Mood and I expected nothing less

- I absolutely detest Locke and how he treats Taryn, but I love seeing Jude snap at him and assert herself over him like a straight QWEEN

- I also feel so, so bad for Taryn because it seems like she truly loves Locke and is willing to overlook how he treats her- including how he’s cheating on her with countless Faeries- just to have him near her. She’s growing dependent on him but she doesn’t have anyone to help pull her out of that situation and I feel awful for her

- hell YEAH my Jurdan slept together best BELIEVE

- Jude kicking Locke’s chair out from under him is simply another reason on an already lengthy list of why she’s literally my hero also the way she stepped on Locke’s chest and threatened him

- “Once you’re wed, if you want to take other lovers, she better be with you, and she better be into it. If it’s not fun for everyone, it’s not happening.” A great way to put it, but also made me giggle a lil bit

- Jude not knowing what pepper jack cheese is

- Oof I hated the way Vivi handled the whole deal with telling Heather about Faerie.....telling her at the last possible minute was not a great plan in my opinion

- “It seems I have a singular taste for women who threaten me.” Cardan, I- 

- I DON”T LIKE LOCKE ONE FUCKING BIT NUH UH

- Okay, Queen of Nothing just got that much better because I know Jude won’t let Locke almost kill her and get away with it....she’s coming for him hehehe

- Jude’s brain really told her, ‘Kill him before he makes you love him’ like...babey that’s so DramaticTM  

- I pieced together the Ghost’s betrayal only, like, four seconds before it actually happened but that didn’t make it hurt aNY LESS. I’m interested in hearing motives for that because very few were offered

- “Now kiss me as though I were Cardan.” BITCH, I-

- And Jude actually kissed Balekin differently, because that bitch is in loooove

- So you really expect me to sit here and read about how Cardan ALLOWED the Undersea to attack his people without retaliation just to get Jude back and not think he’s in love with her???? yeah okay

- Cardan’s first reaction to seeing Jude on top of him in his bed is to pull her closer to him and roll her in his sheets...I’m weak send help

- Cardan canonically sleeps naked. Thank you, @hollyblack for giving us that gem

- The sheer vulnerability that Cardan has with Jude in his bed is touching and heart-wrenching and I need more, more, so much more

- You know what really killed me? Like, absolutely decimated me? This quote: “’Yes, my sweet villain, my darling god. I will be as sober as a stone carving, just as soon as I can.’ And with that, he kisses me on the mouth.”

- Balekin’s dusty ass really tried to frame Jude for the murder of the High King and then his wig got snATCHED when he realized she wasn’t actually glamoured

- I need more Jude taking care of a sick/drunk Cardan, comforting him and telling him he’ll be okay

- Balekin’s dusty ass also tried to surrender the moment he realized Jude was beating him in their duel and his wig got snatched again when she still killed him hell yeeeaaahhhh

- The only good part of the scene where Jude finds out Taryn betrayed her is when Caradan admits he trusted her wholeheartedly and she didn’t have to command him to do anything

- I also need motives for Taryn doing this because ???? it isn’t adding up

- So I’d like to think that Cardan had been planning on marrying Jude since the beginning of the book when he initially stole her ring, because he gave it back to her as a wedding ring

- “Beneath every bit of your sea is land. Seething, volcanic land. Go against me, and I will show you what this will do, my lady.” OKAY NOW I HAVE ONE (1) KING AND HIS NAME IS GREENBRIAR

- I loved it when Jude was like “during my month in the Undersea, Cardan changed.” like lol yeah babey, he’s your slut and he’s in love with you 

- Okay okay okay alright alright we were getting somewhere with Jude and Cardan trusting each other but I fell like this exile might have put a damper on that. Maybe could have taken us a few steps back.

- I, for one, do not having debilitating trust issues so I’m sticking my neck out for Cardan and saying that he has a plan and a good reason for exiling Jude. It was in response for her killing Balekin and it was in front of Orlagh, who was demanding retribution for his death, soooooo idk seems like he was playing his cards wisely if he had a plan

- Is Jude....watching....Yuri! On Ice....?? Because same

- Honestly this book gave me crippling trust issues and anxiety and I need the third book like, instantly. It was amazing, I wanted to cry through the whole thing

- If you made it this far, congrats, you witnessed my emotional roller coasters and I appreciate that

[madamhatter]

am i valid for url meme...

Send Me A URL and I’ll Respond With My Opinions… / accepting 

Roleplaying/Writing

My favorite muse(s) of theirs and why: Bamboo Rice will have a special place in my heart because I love big ol’ dorks whO WILL DO ANYTHING FOR THE PEOPLE/THINGS THEY LOVE. And Bamboo was really the one I got to know and we were able to somewhat extend conversation about him :’D. 

My favorite interaction/thread of theirs: Any time Xander literally opens his mouth and everyone else has to reply like “NO” and he’s like “YES.” I really just love how your general interactions can literally terrorize multiple blogs/fandoms in one successful swoop, no matter which character it is. I only know so few of your characters but I can tell this is something that has happened frequently with the others.My thoughts on their unique characterization/interpretation of their muse(s): what do you mean tsun isn’t Bamboo’s writer? And Boston Lobster’s? And Xander’s?  Why am I being fed these lies? However, there was one thing I noticed that I adored and that was the fact you really brought in actual and plausible headcanons that make sense in relation to the character’s upbringing and what they have and may not have experienced. IE: I remember Bamboo being mentioned (by you) to be illiterate due to their surroundings and being deep in the forest. As strange as it sounds, people really don’t go that far down into detail and I appreciate it. My thoughts on their writing style as a whole: You know that meme where Gordon Ramsey says “finally, some good fucking food”?  That’s literally me when I see any of Tsun’s posts, IC or OOC. I just like reading their stuff and being intimated by the writing in a way that pushes to me to go back to my more serious writing times. Also don’t get me started on their meme ANSWERS, IM HONESTLY RECOVERING FROM SEVERAL ON XANDER’S BLOGS, DON’T @ ME IT READS LIKE POETRY - Situation(s)/Plot(s) I’d love to see their muse(s) in: HMMM… I would like to see Xander in an AU where he properly is a king of a land, even if it is through questionable means (which may be slightly OOC); I do think your Sengoku M. muses will have a god damn fun time in a deity-based AU. Lmao, and if you have doubles, you can always mimick the Evillous Chronicles series with like twins (Daughter of Evil, Servant of Evil, Regret Message, etc.) because those are fun times :3ccccSomeone else I love seeing them interact with: @box-of-characters and @cirocchio ; no questions about that. No matter which character, it IS THE FUNNIEST THING TO ME. Anything else I want to say about their roleplaying: So how the hell does a gem like you stay hidden for so long? What’s your secret? Why keep hidden?? I’m going to have to hold you high in the air for folks to realize the quality that is you as a writer. 

If We Know Eachother

What I Think Are Their Best Qualities: Can deal with my bullshit, has the shitty sense of humor like me, and doesn’t find me annoying. Tsun just really knows how to get the dash working and chat with others, making a whole group experience that doesn’t exclude anyone. Tsun also takes heavy consideration and stuff when writing for characters and trying not to insert his midwestern twang in otherwise very regal mouths. Seriouly, though, I think his best qualities will alwas be the way they’re able to frame their characters’ emotions and always involve movement with them, making a whole scene play out. It isn’t stagnant, it’s always flowing, like a river.What I Think Are Their Strengths: Can laugh and tolerate my horrible fucking puns. It’s just super easy and comfortable to talk to you and get to know you! I say that not only are you an amiable personality, I really do say that at the end of the day, you care for your fellow roleplayers much more than writing partners and more as friends. This is beyond writing that I’ll consistently gush about but, I get that you’re an all around package who brings your A+ game and only deserves the best. A Memorable OOC Interaction Of Ours: How…how do I choose one?? I usually send him very cursed things over Tumblr IMs (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=120HFjKPuJ4) and we’ve explored the realm of what strange things seiyuus sing. Every OOC interaction is memorable! Why Others Should RP With Them: It’s really hard nowadays to find roleplayers that really care for their characters but also know when to mess around and not take them as seriously. With the addition in being dedicated to building their characters and open to new and exciting ways to interact, I don’t why why you aren’t following yet. Also, he helps me cope with the stupid and long novella replies with eveN BETTER ONES SO, YOU GOT THAT BONUS. How Others Should Approach Them: Maybe it’s me and I see that it’s really easy to message people like a moron like “he-hewwo??” But, I always say drop into Tsun’s messages and drop a hello! I always say it’s better to drop in to meet the person first rather than their writing. It helps build bonds! Other Roleplayers I’d Recommend To Them: @vacuitas ; I think both of your multimuse blogs will greatly mesh well together and with Kat’s blog backstory and OCs should really be explored and you got some interesting personalities on both of your blogs that can either get along or hate very much! Anything else I want to say about them: how you haven’t gotten tired of me yet and the weird things I’ve sent you is beyond me– But, Tsun, you’re a real sweetheart and know how to bring a smile to my face without realizing it ;v;

If We Have/Plan To Interact

A plot I’d like to write with them: ANYTHING. ANYTHING. just honestly throw me ideas about AUs and I’m like butter, easy to melt and get into things. *steeples hands* If there’s any way I can make a character suffer at the expense of one of mine getting hurt or being mean, lmk :eyes:. Maybe hm… “Asselin you’re not a demon and those horns are totally fake - what the bloody hell. No I’m not going to stop pulling these horns these are NO way real ” AU. A muse I want to introduce to them: Natsume from Enstars. Just trust me, just trust me you will love that little shit and he’ll fit in with your crowd and he curses people like a fucking moron please I LOVE HIM… Since you like characters in trashbags, but I want you to have a variety, I can also bleed in some of my Mogeko charas like Shirogane (a scaredy cat wolf) and Battler Ushiromiya from Umineko (he’s a man who defies meta to solve the murders of his family that fateful October 4th, 1986). Also Phantom from Maplestory, I …love him to bits, he’s amazing. He’s gorgeous, he’s powerful, tends to not take things seriously is a phantom thief but I …oh god I love him so much : ‘ ) A ship/broship I’d like to propose to them: Xander/Sophie’s dynamic is amazing, I love when the bourgeois and the peasants argue. I’m also glad that their relationship can translate on different levels but there’s always that call-back to bickering yet support. If I can propose another, uhh– I really like Bamboo/Spam as a friendship and Boston/Spam as a mix of plato/romo (not too sure but I really liked their differences, i can see it as a “grey” area).  UHHHH… Asselin/Sophie looks like it could be a god damn trip :tm: bc a servant of satan of a witch sounds all sorts of chaos :3c. A thread with them I’m excited about: CHISANA THREAD, CHISANA THREAD! GIANT ASS DRAGON INDEBT TO WITCH AND HE REGRETS TURNING HUMAN BUT THEN HE REGRETS TURNING BACK AND … YEAH.  Anything else I want to say: God has forsaken you since you’re my friend and I hope you realize the path you’re now down wnjdfksnfdsj/. 

[runespoor7]

Plum Aeducan Returns (spoilers for Orzammar)

*blows off dust after more than a year the playthrough went languishing*

Let’s start with a classic round of talking to the companions.

I’d forgotten how much Sten loves Plum. He’s the companion with the highest approval, we’re at “kadan” terms of endearment, and everything.

...I’d also forgotten Plum apparently “started a romance” with Zevran when I wasn’t paying attention. (By start a romance I mean she flirted, it’s not supposed to mean anything or go anywhere in her mind. It’s just cheerfully grim semi-professional flirting. gallows flirting.) This Bears Watching TM as I could see her actually going for it and ditching Alistair - and I cannot overstate how much she isn’t supposed to ditch Alistair. (not to mention that Zevran is turning out to be quite the attraction to several other wardens I have planned, and I prefer to have a wide range of LI across varied playthroughs). So that’s gonna be a fun loss of approval as well!

She’s not as close to Morrigan as Iris is, but she finds Morrigan rather charming. She’s witty and full of arcane knowledge that seems very useful. And she’s very kind: Plum certainly wasn’t expecting Morrigan to extend sympathies when Plum told her that her mom died a long time ago.

And then it’s on the way to Orzammar, because I’ve got that and Denerim+Brother Genitivi left, and… Plum’s been thinking about returning to Orzammar, and she’s a bit doubtful about this “sacred ashes” thing. Maybe if she returns in Redcliffe with a dwarven army, she can circumvent the problem of needing Arl Eamon awake and convince Teagan to call the Landsmeet now.

At the Frostback mountains, I realize that Sten doesn’t have his sword yet, if the dialogue with the guy who sold it is any indication, and that I was probably planning on bringing Sten along for this part, because it would be fun. I don’t want to reload, though, so instead Plum navigates the conversation by getting the info she wants and demanding 3 sovereigns for not mentioning him to Sten when she tells Sten where to find his sword. Funding a war is expensive.

Also at this point - just above Orzammar, where she’s returning for the first time - Leliana chooses this moment to have such a relevant banter for a moment I was confused and thought she was speaking to my Aeducan.

> Leliana: There are many great tales of lost kings who return to their lands to reign in glory...

> Alistair: I am not lost. Nor, for that matter, a king. And there is nothing glorious about me.

> Leliana: You are Maric's son; you are the rightful king of Ferelden.

> Alistair: I am the son of a star-struck maid and an indiscreet man who just happened to be king. Look, I can't be king. Some days I have trouble figuring out which boot goes on which foot.

> Leliana: Complete fools are made leaders of kingdoms all the time, and you're not a complete fool.

> Alistair: What an utter relief.

> Leliana: And don't worry about the boots. Kings don't need to dress themselves. that's what advisors are for, isn't it?

> Alistair: And star-struck maids, apparently.

that was amazingly on point, it literally couldn’t drop at a more pertinent moment.

It also reinforced my determination for Plum’s ending, so that’s great. Leliana, you’re a pal.

Upon arriving at the entrance of Orzammar, she learns confirmation that Bhelen didn’t manage to get himself crowned king, which falls somewhere between baffling and exasperating. Stone, he’d managed to get rid of both Trian and her! What more did he need? She could stomach her brother sending her in exile for the crown - exile hurt, but the Blight is a distraction (a vocation?) - but not for nothing!

then Loghain’s messenger jumps on the news that she ‘killed her elder brother’ and starts calling her “kinslayer”, to which Plum tells him that if he does so again she’ll kill him, and the guard thinks she means him. Gah.

at the end she does get in, but she kills the messenger just like she’d been itching to since the first time he called her “kinslayer”. Usually she’s not half so kill-happy, but he deserved it. Surfacers should know better than to look down upon Orzammar, even an exile such as her.

Fun fact: the Captain of the Guard who tends to make a good impression on outsider wardens (at least he’s unimpressed with both candidates and just wants things to function) when you enter is super unpleasant when you’re an Aeducan!

Plum thought she knew what exile meant; she didn’t think that she’d never feel more of an exile back in Orzammar. People call her Warden when they don’t insult her. (This is all because Bhelen botched the job enough that he couldn’t land the crown, she’s disappointed, after he set her up there was no doubt in her mind he was an excellent politician.)

Meeting Nerav Helmi is enlightening! First, Nerav seems to believe Plum wants Harrowmont to have the throne - but then, Nerav supports Harrowmont, and Nerav and Plum were on good terms. Second, Bhelen lost the support of part of the Assembly - his supporters now only amount to exactly half the deshyrs. Nerav does confirm that House Aeducan stands behind Bhelen, though. Once they wanted Plum on the throne, but they wouldn’t consider “taking it back” to vote her queen. That’s actually a good thing: Plum’s got a Blight to fight, and fighting darkspawn was always her stronger focus. House Aeducan standing united behind Bhelen is good. Third, some believe Bhelen killed the king; of course, given the circumstances, Harrowmont might have done it. But more importantly, Harrowmont isn’t brave enough to accuse Bhelen himself. So it gives off the impression that the common is fighting Harrowmont’s battles for him despite Harrowmont pretending it’s fine. Not that surprising, but still a terrible look. Oh, and apparently Plum’s father named Harrowmont his heir based on suspicions that Bhelen was behind Trian’s death and Plum’s exile. (this wasn’t the right thing to do, father. smashing down our house doesn’t fix anything. you do not lay down before a mouse because your cat scratched you. It doesn’t fix Plum’s exile, and it weakens House Aeducan, so Plum isn’t getting any less bitter about her father. Old age turning him into a soft old fool.)

ALSO I MET THE MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTER OF ORZAMMAR, that is to say, Dagna. (so young! baby Dagna of Origins aaaaah) ...who wants to go to the surface. to the Circle. To which Plum has major objections, because 1)you want to leave Orzammar, 2)funny story about the Circle… so I was already anticipating having to turn down Dagna (and breaking my own heart in the process), but then Dagna: “It would be a valuable exchange. Orzammar would learn of one of the great natural forces of the surface.”

Plum, whose failure to save Irving and have magic at her disposal to fight the Blight hounds her to this day: “......KEEP TALKING.”

Harrowmont supporters are hilarious. “Lord Harrowmont is such a good, caring man. He’ll make a great king.” Plum: Commoners, I swear. You can see they have no idea how cutthroat politics are.

It’s less hilarious when Plum comes across Lord Helmi, who has incredibly forward, equalitarian views on castes, and reluctantly supports Harrowmont on the grounds that he “looks a bit more forgiving,” whereas Bhelen looks like “nothing matters to him more than winning.” :( Bhelen used to be so overlooked and popular, what happened there. Also Plum’s willing to vouch for Bhelen having progressive sympathies.

Moving on, blablah, Vartag Gavorn is an ass, also Plum really doesn’t like the way he talks to her, but that’s still better than Harrowmont’s captain being all “yea Lord Harrowmont always was very fond of you because he’s too good for this world, too pure, but I know you Aeducans, you ain’t meeting him without proving you mean it”, which. Okay sure Plum is working with Bhelen and would “betray” Harrowmont without thinking twice about it (look, Harrowmont has no business running for king, also he’s too soft for it. also his politics are backwards, that hasn’t changed since the last time Plum rolled her eyes real hard when her father nodded at Harrowmont’s advice), but Bhelen framed her, how does it make sense that she’d work with him now???? (Harrowmont captain: *knows Aeducans*)

At least meeting Harrowmont’s captain told her that Bhelen is also interfering with Harrowmont’s champions at the Proving. Well that’s good, she was starting to be concerned he was being passive about the whole affair.

SO ratting Lord Harrowmont’s “””proposal””” to two noble Houses it is, then. Quotation marks because Plum swinged by the Shaperate to check on things, and learned that Bhelen had the papers altered. Clever. Here’s to hoping the Shaperate knows better than to get involved in politics, Plum didn’t say who gave her the papers, of course, but it’s already common gossip she’s working with Bhelen. Eh, win some, lose some. Also worth noting: warrior caste girl hoping to be proved a noble. If Plum lands that, it’ll be one more voice cast correctly in the Assembly…

Lord Helmi acts a bit disgusted with the reveal, but mostly disgusted that he’s going to have to work, instead of lounding around Tapsters doing nothing but drink ale and act the Dashing Disreputable Noble Son. Plum tactically keeps her eyeroll to herself. He leaves the conversation muttering that he needs to take a second look at Bhelen, if he’s worth Plum’s loyalty, which isn’t exactly where she was going when she told him she just wanted to keep the throne in Aeducan House, but that’s the same result.

Other things Plum did: flatly walk out of Brother Burkel’s speech about opening a Chantry. Send Carta thugs running. Witness with pleasure Leliana’s awestruck delight at the beauty of Orzammar.

Kiss Alistair in full view of the ancestors and the Stone (and oh, her heart gets softer when he looks at her like so)

start into the Deep Roads back to Aeducan Thaig to get Lord Dace to renege on Harrowmont’s false promises, fond fond trauma memories.

Things she didn’t do: protest her innocence at any point. It would be undignified. And it’s better if she’s the clear murderer in people’s minds. Less chances for Harrowmont to also get Bhelen discredited. She’d prefer not to be thought one, but if it’s the sacrifice required of her to get this city back on track, then by the Stone she’ll shoulder it.

[chellonihaoma]

For the other ask thing: ALL OF THEM.......................................

This is super long.

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? - Not sure. I wind up with leftover milk, but it could easily go either way.2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? - Yes.3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? - Literally anything. I have used my phone before.4: how do you take your coffee/tea? - I don’t drink either, but I love hot chocolate.5: are you self-conscious of your smile? - Not really.6: do you keep plants? - No sirree, I’m allergic to basically every plant.7: do you name your plants? - No.8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? - If I could draw, I would draw. I sing.9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? - Yes. Very much.10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? - Side, though I try to sleep on my back because it’s better for posture.11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? - There are a lot. Imagination.12: what’s your favorite planet? - Saturn.13: what’s something that made you smile today? - I watched Phantom Rouge. Illumi is beautiful.14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? - I am very minimalistic, so it would be mostly empty with some basic furniture. Everything neatly organized and out of the way.15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! - Don’t need to Google. I used to be obsessed with space. If you approach a black hole, you will be “spaghettified.” Literally pulled apart. Doesn’t that sound fun? :)16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? - They’re all the same to me since I just eat plain noodles.17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? - Red. Or, if possible, I just want Illumi’s hair.18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. - The Negative Cats Incident^TM. Basically, I thought too hard about a mathematical concept in class and couldn’t stop laughing. 老师 was not very happy with me.19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? - No.20: what’s your favorite eye color? - Brown that’s almost black or dark green. For unnatural, violet.21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to heck and back with you and that you love to pieces. - Don’t have one.22: are you a morning person? - Absolutely not.23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? - Dance, sing, read (often fanfiction), and sometimes draw. I also watch stuff.24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? - No.25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? - I have never technically “broken into” anywhere.26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? - I just wear black shoes that look the same.27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? - The regular one.28: sunrise or sunset? - Sunset. I hate the sun. I love watching it die.29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? - I love it when my friends get really excited about something.30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? - Yes.31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock heck? really, just talk about socks. - Socks are good, but I hate putting them on. Not really. Not often. I mostly wear white socks, but I have some black and one or two grey pairs.32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. - I have never been with friends that late. Unless it was the next day.33: what’s your fave pastry? - Are doughnuts pastries? I like a lot of plain ones.34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? - Chris Doggie, although it never had a specific spelling (can’t expect a little kid to understand the complications of English). It is a yellow dog. There were actually two, because apparently I almost removed the nose of the first one. I still have both in my room.35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? - I don’t even know what stationary is. I like pretty colour pens, but rarely use them.36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? - Yuzu, maybe SID.37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? - My room is always spotless.38: tell us about your pet peeves! - People mispronouncing certain words. There are probably several others, but I’m drawing a blank right now.39: what color do you wear the most? - Probably black or blue. Dark blue.40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? - My wife crotched me a black ring.41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? - The Way of Kings.42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! - I don’t drink coffee and I make my own hot chocolate.43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? - 妈妈，although that was many, many years ago.44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? - Gosh, I can’t even remember. It has been a long time, but I long for that feeling.45: do you trust your instincts a lot? - More than I think I do.46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. - Killua? More like, Killu-nah. Get it? Because he won’t kill. (I know someone who can come up with so many, you should ask her)47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? - I really can’t stand oranges.48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? - I don’t remember. No.49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?- I don’t think I’ve ever bought one. We had many in my home growing up, but I never bought one.50: what’s an odd thing you collect? - I don’t really collect anything. I DO have about 100 pictures of Illumi on my phone though.51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? - I don’t have any. I only do that with fictional characters.52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? - I don’t know what year memes are from. I really like none pizza with left beef and I love/hate loss.jpg.53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? - None but Beetlejuice and I can’t even remember it.54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? - It was me. In the mirror.55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? - Gosh, I don’t know, but I probably have done something crazy.56: what are some things you find endearing in people? - When they care and are passionate about something.57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? - I don’t like that song. It is overrated, in my opinion.58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? - I’m wine mom. Vodka aunt would be either @wackopig or @birdageddon .59: what’s your favorite myth? - I like most with dragons or the moon.60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? - Not really.61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? - Oh boy, there are a lot. Literally everything I give to my friends is stupid or some inside joke. I have a cardboard cutout of Zac Efron. I have never even seen anything he is in. I just know he’s some kind of American celebrity and my friend had it for some reason and gave it to me?62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? - No.63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? - Everything is always very organized.64: what color is the sky where you are right now? - Black.65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? - Nanami or a nurse I used to see a lot.66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? - Dark violet flowers or blood-red roses.67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? - These are my favourite days. I love when it’s overcast. I love the rain. I feel much more peaceful and aware.68: what’s winter like where you live? - Cold.69: what are your favorite board games? - Is Zombicide a board game?70: have you ever used a ouija board? - No.71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? - I don’t drink tea.72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? - YES. And it’s horrible!73: what are some of your worst habits? - Picking, Tumblr, etc.74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. - Very good artist. Loves aliens. IS an alien.75: tell us about your pets! - Don’t have any.76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? - Isn’t there always?77: pink or yellow lemonade? - Both. Pink.78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? - NO.79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? - My wife made me a little Ciel doll.80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? - White. It was the default.81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. - I am SO bad at abstract imagery, especially in English. Um, dirt.82: are/were you good in school? - The best! If I wasn’t, my parents would have disowned me.83: what’s some of your favorite album art? - I don’t know what that is.84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? - No.85: do you read comics? what are your faves? - I don’t.86: do you like concept albums? which ones? - I don’t know what those are.87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? - All Ghibli films. Especially Spirited Away.88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? - Not sure what that means.89: are you close to your parents? - No.90: talk about your one of your favorite cities. - I like Tokyo, although I have not been there.91: where do you plan on traveling this year? - Probably nowhere.92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? - I eat plain pasta.93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? - Straight down.94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? - Kaili.95: what are your plans for this weekend? - I want to watch Spirited Away again.96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? - I put them off forever.97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? - ISTJ, 龙 (dragon), Ravenclaw.98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? - On Wednesday. No. We got lost and I’m allergic to nature.99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. - Many Coldplay songs, a lot from Madoka Magica, and Ghibli music.100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? - Past. As much as I don’t want to relive anything, I could make myself stronger.

[anythingstephenking]

The House of The Setting Sun

There is a house // In Wisconsin // they call the…. Black House // A serial killer lives there // oh and also it’s a portal to Mid-World.

Ok, doesn’t really roll off the tongue. But after getting somewhat tired of miscellaneous Dark Tower references in mostly unrelated novels, we’re back to being squarely Dark-Tower-Adjacent in Black House, the much awaited sequel to one of my most prized reads so far, The Talisman.

I could. not. wait. to read this. I devoured The Talisman in two days, and humbly equated it to Harry Potter levels in my write-up. It was that good. I may revisit The Talisman again before I finish this project, because the details are muddled in my mind and I miss it so very much.

Well I suppose that’s a lot of pressure to put on a sequel, and I should have realized I’d end up dissatisfied and scratching my head. Because Black House is sadly, not The Talisman.

It took me 2 months to plow through the 600+ pages. 1.5 of those months were getting through the first 200 pages; I finished up the last 400 or so over the last few days. We’ll get to the why in a bit.

Let’s start at the beginning. Jack Sawyer, our hero who saved his mom and the world to boot on an epic journey 17 years ago is now all growns up and a successful detective. He remembers nothing of his past adventures, but his connection with the talisman is a large contributing factor of his success. Touch a magical orb once when you’re 12, blessed forever - that’s how the saying goes! He retires at 31, as one does (sigh), and moves to small town Wisconsin to settle down in an old farmhouse. Dude is LITERALLY living my dream.

But turns out there’s a serial killer on the loose, operating in that same small town (what are the chances, amirite?) and Jack’s pulled in to help solve the case. This guy is killing AND eating children, so like, kinda hard to kick back with a glass of wine and ignore all that I suppose.

If I had known that Black House would be more of a serial killer cat and mouse than a journey back to The Territories, I may have been more prepared. But I wanted another epic quest, and there are no quests to be seen for miles here.

The problem is that the language here is so fraught and overworked. One book review I read claimed that King and Straub appear as two divas on stage, striving to out warble each other and ending up looking like morons. Ok, well I added the “morons” part, most book critics wouldn’t use the word moron. But they did say divas, and I wholeheartedly agree. Where The Talisman wove their writing styles together seamlessly, Black House is like a ham-fisted ham sandwich (TM - me).

I can pretty clearly guess what passages are Kings and which are Straubs, or at least I decided all the stuff I didn’t like was Straub to feel better about the whole situation. The first section of the novel, called “Welcome to Coulee Country” is over a hundred pages of us flying alongside a crow, popping in and out of locations that may matter later but does little in orientating you to anything other than too many words to describe things.

Exhibit A:

“We enter. Mild sunlight filtering in through gaps in the eastern wall and the battered roof paints luminous streaks across the gritty floor. Feathers, dust, eddy and stir over animal tracks and the dim impressions left by many long-gone shoes. Threadbare army-surplus blankets speckled with mold lie crumpled against the wall to our left; a few feet away discarded beer cans and flattened cigarette ends surround a kerosene-burning hurricane lamp with cracked glass housing.”

It keeps going like that for what seems to be about 5 years until we get to the fact theirs a dead child there and her foot’s gone cause some monster fucking ate it. It’s 100 pages of adjectives to get to the crux of it all - there’s a bad guy on the loose and Jack Sawyer is gunna do something about it. Black House kicked around the best seller list for a long time back in 2001, but my guess is that only the most loyal / dark tower nerds made in through the first few chapters.

The book does pick up steam about halfway through once the true purpose comes to life; one of the boys, Ty Marshall, was taken by the serial killer, not for a midday snack but for a higher purpose. He’s a “breaker” and is being carted off to The Crimson King to assist in his evil plans of breaking the beams and ruining not only his world, but all worlds.

And thus we have our purpose - save Ty, save the world. We do get a wonderful cast of accompanying characters, including a handful of college educated bikers, a blind radio DJ, a somewhat bumbling chief of police, a helpful colony of bees and of course Jack.

If The Talisman was an epic coming-of-age tale of adventure and intrigue, I suppose this could be its grown up, darker older brother. Serial killers that eat kids can hardly be considered anything other than super dark. While we dance around who the killer might be (for a loooooong time) we inch towards answers that won’t come until Jack remembers (with some help from his pal Speedy). Un-satisfyingly, we’re told not to care about who the killer is, but why is Ty important, so like WHY HAVE WE BEEN ON THE HUNT FOR HIM FOR HALF THIS BOOK. Sigh.

So, we do get back to The Territories (on page 426, but who’s counting?) which is about the point where the story should have started. We get what we’ve anxiously been waiting for - not a quest per-se but a high-risk rescue mission with a (mostly) satisfying King Konclusion of “Good Guys Win.”

While the story is firmly planted in King’s mythos, it feels rude to pin the bad stuff on Straub because it’s not his universe, but I’m going to anyway because I can and that’s the end of it.

King and Straub promised a trilogy, so there may still be more to come. There were 17 years between the two, which would have put the third on our bookshelves last year. Will keep holding onto the dream.

7/10

First Line: Right here and now, as an old friend used to say, we are in the fluid present, where clear-sightedness never guarantees perfect vision. Last Line: “My heart, my life and my love: welcome back.”

Adaptations:

None - thank goodness. Word on the street is that The Talisman may see the light of day, but I’ll #believeitwheniseeit.

Will leave this here, posted without comment.

[ssantisheep]

Dumas’ Musketeers series : My feels

I’ve finished all the books of the Three Musketeers series and here are some of my thoughts on the characters. But first, just so you know it’s divided in three :

Les trois mousquetaires (the three musketeers) : 4 volumes

20 ans après (20 years after) : 3 volumes

Le vicomte de Bragelonne (The Vicomte of Bragelonne: Ten Years Later) : 6 volumes

So it is very long and there is a lot of characters development. A LOT. There is also a lot of side characters that you will probably fell in love with but get ready those ones are the first to die.

/!\ SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS /!\

So first of all I’ll start by the Hero (even if everyone got their fair share)

D’Arthagnan: Slytherin as fuck. I see your raised eyebrows and honestly fight me on my headcanon for their HP house. Because I won’t change my mind. D’arth is slytherin or he is nothing. More than bravery what defines him is a quick-witted mind and the ability to come up with a lot of fucking cunning plan. Also, he is ambitious as fuck. He gets rewarded by the end but you will cry. (I did) Basically he get the fucking distinction he was waiting for all is life and die. (: you see me smiling I’m crying inside.

Very important D’arthagnan IS gay for Athos. Like Super Gaytm . They don’t even try to hide. They raise a son together; every time d’Arthagnan is in admiration in front of Athos, and Athos trust him with all his heart and in Twenty years after they are in opposite camp and it breaks their hearts but then D’arthagnan write a letter and explain that he still will help him and Athos is almost crying in joy of d’arthagnan still loving him. Thinking of the show the Musketeers : we thought it was gay but it wasn’t nearly as much gay as he could have been. *side eyed the show*

Also the show took the “slytherin : House of stupid dare” and make their d’arthagnan that way. (again, meet me in the pit if you disagree)

Porthos: Will break your heart too many times to count because Too good, Too pure for this world. For his friends especially. Porthos is being manipulated by EVERYONE!! And that was will lead to his doom I’m not even lying. Basically he is described as slow and doesn’t seem to be able to keep up with his friends scheme but will follow them to his death. He does put them to shame thought because his heart is so pure? And he always forgives them and loves them?? And so there are some times when d’art and aramis are like “fuck porthos is a way better man than us” like yeah buddy, he is. Porthos is a Hufflepuff don’t even think otherwise. Loyal as fuck and will fuck you up if you mess with his friends. Have the strength of ten man. He is Hercules reborn. IDEK. I love him.

Athos : Perfect Mantm  there is pages that are just description of how beautiful and noble he is??? I believe Dumas had a crush on a real man and that was his inspiration? Or maybe Ideal Man? I don’t know. Gryffindor in my mind. Everyone love him and has a crush on him and want him to like them it’s embarrassing. Once told the King to kiss his ass (not with those words but he basically broke his own sword and throw it at king’s feet. So same thing really.) Have raised a son (with d’arthagnan) his son is perfect too. But a bit more emo. (d’arthy side? IDK) He only did one mistake: Milady. Always try to see the good side of everyone. I think it must be tiring being with him. Too perfect honestly.

Aramis: Slytherin too!!! OMG!! ARAMIS! So much feels about him. At first he was the lover and he was the cunning side kick of Athos and then at the end he become this meme :

“You Either Die A Hero, Or You Live Long Enough To See Yourself Become The Villain”

Like in the last Books of Vicomte de Bragelonne Aramis is the bad guy (for like 5 chapters but still enough to be fucked up) and YET!! He is the only one who survived. Porthos died because of him?? And he was ready to kill himself because of this???? WTF?? It is said that he is not really living though. Porthos was too important he lost him so he lost a part of his soul. Very gay for Porthos if you hadn’t understood yet.

He and d’arthagnan has the strangest relationship ever? (but also the most interesting one) Like there is multiple times where they have conversation trying to guess the other plans and lying and trying to manipulate the other?? I think they’re friend because their friends are friends? If you know what I mean? They still like each other but clearly they’re both too smart and they both get wary of the other. That’s literally the reason they can guess when the other is planning something because they ‘re ALWAYS SUSPECTING THE OTHER TO PLAN SOMETHING. (and if you supposed someone is always doing something at one point you will be right). I still love him but bitter ‘til the end about porthos’ death. It’s on you Aramis. On you, you fucker.

 Raoul de bragelonne: Son of Athos and d’arthagnan. Clever, pure hearted, always calm, nice manners. Get his heart broken and decided to die. Also, had a friend whom he was really close but somehow it never reaches the epic-ness of d’arthagnan and Athos. And the funnier things: Athos tell him that indeed De Guiche is nice but not like d’arthagnan. #Athosdisappointedthathissonisstraight (no this conversation really happened I’m not making this up. It’s awesome).

Still pretty cool and pretty chill most of the time except in the last 3 books which is explained because his fiancé cheated on him with the King. So you know. Big deal. Also everyone is an ass with him about that because NO ONE WANTS TO TELL HIM?? Like he goes to his friend De guiche who told him to come home, but he doesn’t want to tell him about his fiancée, then D’arthagnan is like” a problem with louise?? HAHAHAHA NO WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I SERVE THE KING I SHOULD KNOW?? GOT A CAT ON FIRE GOT TO GO!!!” and it’s only Madame who tell him because she’s a bad bitch. :/ he is a gryffindor too.

 Now it’s the time for the characters who SHOULD have been in every adaptation but weren’t and it’s a damn tragedy because they’re perfect : I call you attention to the servants.

So who are these men? These men all serve one of the musketeers and they’ll follow them to the end of the earth and honestly they’re pretty much perfect. (except one I guess)

Bazin; the only not perfect one. Bazin is with aramis. Only accepted because Aramis want at one point to retire and become a church man (he did btw). Doesn’t look favourably at d’arthagnan looking for his old master in 20 years after. Completely forgotten in Le vicomte. Have no idea what he became. no idea what HP house.

Mousqueton: Porthos’. Loyal but not very good at stuff except eating. Which : a man after my own heart, but still. Love porthos and porthos loved him greatly. Porthos willed him all his clothes and Mousqueton died immediately after because he couldn’t stand porthos death. It’s pretty tragic, guy I shit you not. hufflepuff

Planchet: D’arthagnan servant. At first is kind of unlucky but by believing d’art he become a millionaire. Love d’arth and would die to protect him. He is also hot-headed and is actually running from the government in 20years after because he is leading the revolution? Or some part. Also end up a candy maker so best development ever. Also marry a cute Holland girl Trüchen. So he got his happy ending! gryffindor

Grimaud: I LOVE HIM TO DEATH!!!! Grimaud is a BAMF. Will fuck you Up. Save everyone asses more time than I can count. Is a drama queen. Belong to Athos and since Athos barely speak he barely speak too. Honestly the amount of words he said can probably all fit in one Word page? But since he doesn’t speak he express himself via his face and sound and it’s fucking hilarious. Serve Athos before Athos ask anything. He is the Best. I want twenty book just on him. Seriously where is my spin off show? This guy survived everything. At the end he was old (fifty years I think? Even more) and still follow Raoul to Algeria and was the one to bring his body back to be buried? Bow to him because he is the Best man you’ll ever met. (if you’re wondering there is apparently a lot of Athos/grimaud fanfiction when you search for the books’ fics and boy… Do I understand this. Because trust me I was sad but then Grimaud cried at the foot of Athos bed when he died and d’arth found him and I start crying too, couldn’t stop. My heart ache for this man who lost everyone he cared about so fast.) gryffindor

 OTHER CHARACTERS  (but not all):

Rochefort : was supposedly a foe in the three musketeers, end up one of their good friend in 20 years after. So sore about the show because, damn it, Rochefort could have been much more awesome than the side Friendzoned guytm they gave us. gryffindor.

Constance: last two or three books? Start the bad habits of d’arth that consist of sleeping with his landladies. Not lying he does with the second one too. After that he live in the Castle so it’s complicated but you got the idea. Is cute but kind of unimportant in the grand scheme of things? Like D’arthagnan forgot about her quickly? Bonus point for the show for making her a major character but then less point with how they handle her husband. HP house: Hufflepuff.

Mr Bonacieux : an old white man. Should say everything. Redeem himself a bit in 20 years after but that’s all. HP house: none.

Milady : Die in the three musketeers but got a son that as cruel as her so it’s okay. Also never get close to the King or anything. D’arthagnan fucked her knowing who she was if I remember correctly. Because he needed information. Right. She is portrayed as a mean Bitch but I’m not sure she was. Maybe if the world wasn’t a man’s world she would have been happier. slytherin.

Mordaunt : Son of Milday. Is well decided to kill everyone involved in his mom’s murder. He is the one that Kill King Charles the 1st of England. ( Because yeah, the musketeers get involved in the english revolution and Republique. After all, why not? They are also the reason for the restauration! Bow down to us, English people without us who wouldn’t have your Queen. (kidding but honestly, it’s like the four of them are responsible for everything.) ) Anyway end up dying, killed accidently by Athos because Athos was too noble and tried to save him when he drowned and he decided that he should try to kill Athos anyway. Did not worked well for Mordaunt. slytherin/ravenclaw? not sure.

Felton: A secondary character that I fell in love immediately. Remind me of Brad from GK actually?? Is seduced and used by Milady and then he is killed because he betrayed his commander. #Feltondeservedbetter #justiceforFelton gryffindor.

The Queen : get saved by d’arthagnan but decided to promptly forgot about him. I’m neutral about her, she is not a bitch, she is kind sometimes, but she is a queen, have a lot of power and don’t necessarily use it well.

Louis XIII : … I can’t even remember a thing about him in the book outside of him being so easily manipulated by Richelieu?

Richelieu : the enemy not really enemy of our heroes. Like he is the reason they must save their queen but at the same time give them reward if I remember? So really… Nice, intelligent guy. Ambitious too : Slytherin.

Mazarin: a greedy Italian Richelieu that get to Bone the Queen. Yep. Love money more than anything. Want to have the four of the musketeers on his side. Only get D’Arthagnan and Porthos and again only half of them because they will always choose Athos and Aramis first. LOL! (more ravenclaw than slytherin maybe?)

Fouquet : Good man. I really liked him. Honorable. Intelligent. Good with Ladies apparently. Love his King more than anything, get fucked because of Aramis and Colbert. (Aramis didn’t mean it, Colbert totally mean it). Ravenclaw. His circle of friend include: Le Brun, Le Notre, Molière, La fontaine etc…

Colbert: appear as the villain. The moment Fouquet is out of the picture become a saint. D’arth is confused as I am. Ravenclaw too. Still wary of him because Fouquet was a nice guy. Not very good socially but still manage to get ladies.

Louis XIV : at the end is an Ass. Okay not really but you know he could have forgive fouquet since the guy save his ass but no. But again he is king and there this one night and day he spent in the Bastille because of Aramis so yeah, he become more ruthless. Grow up a lot through the books thought. Like his character development his high level. It’s interesting to see it. Probably Gryffindor because is ruled by passion for most of the story.

Philippe: Twin Brother of Louis XIV. Is king for a few hours but then he is sent back in prison with the famous iron mask on his face. Struck Fouquet and d’arthagnan (and Aramis) by his noble heart and the fact that he would have been a better King than Louis probably. Sad end to him but what can you do?Probably Gryffindor too. not nearly as ambitious as one could think.

Madame: Henriette sister of the King of England become the sister in law of Louis XIV. Queen B. Want to be loved by everyone and doesn’t like when other girls get attention. Still end up in love with De guiche. Slytherin.

De guiche: Bestie of Raoul. Met Henriette five second and fall madly in love with her. Like he doesn’t know her, she had no idea who he is but it’s game over. Get a lot of trouble but finally end up loved by her. Is acting as protector of La Vallière during Raoul stay in England. Good friend but not as good as D’arthagnan. Hufflepuff.

Louise de La vallière : I’d like to say that the only famous lover of Louis XIV I know was Madame de Montespan. So I had no idea who louise was and innocently I asked my mum “hey does Louise still end up with Raoul? “and my mum was like “Don’t you know your history? She is the first lover of Louis XIV. They have kids together I think” so I was crushed. And spoiled for the story but mostly crushed because I knew she was going to crush raoul’s heart. And I was right.But I still like her and she face so many abuse and she is so pure of heart? She get a lot of hates by d’arth at the end but remind him that in the position she is she will likely suffer. Is right about that. It end when is going to be replace by Montespan who was a friend of her. My poor lovely girl. Hufflepuff/Gryffindor. (she is very brave and face a lot of abuse but never loose hope and will die for the King and for Raoul... so I don’t know.)

There is a lot of other but I am neutral or just don’t really know what to say except “Become a Bitch” *think of the Montalais/Malicorne thing that never actually happened?? It’s implied but nothing is shown ?*

Anyway the reading was interesting because I kept having like Luke pasqualino in head and then will stumble into an illustration of a very white, with long curly hair and a moustache d’arthagnan and yeah… It’s weird. Make me sad about the show but realize that It’s impossible to adapt those books correctly. Too many characters, plots to fit into a movie and at the same time : not long enough plot to make a serie ?

But anyway A classic so nice to have add it. One question stay: why “Un pour tous et tous pour un” is such a famous line when it like mentioned once in the three musketeers and once in le vicomte de bragelonne. What happened?

 Also sorry for the long post but to finish : if you have time read the book. You will probably cry but it’s very gay and fun and so many characters to love. And to hate ��:3 

Also where is the HP AU guys ?

[janiedean]

I think Aegon VI is gonna fail big time though because even though Varys *thinks* he’s training a perfect prince- he’s never had to deal with real pressure or real problems. He’s sheltered as fuck.

anon anon anon, never mind that I don’t think aegon has a chance in hell to last as much as I wish he did, I think your point is very much moot for the following reasons that I’ll answer to seriously:

*varys* is not training anyone. varys has planned the thing and has been there working towards it for years, but jon connington is handling the kid, not him, and jon wants the best for him, he’s not raising him so he can rule through him;

‘he’s never had to deal with real problems’: man, he’s spent his entire life in exile, they might have had resources but he’s hardly that rich, he’s also spent his entire life in essos, and unless jonc hasn’t made him leave that boat ever (doubtful because he doesn’t show any signs of that) he would have seen a fair lot of shit, so like...... man, the literal only difference between him and daenerys in this sense is that dany comes from an abusive af household and that the person she’s spent more time with was viserys who’s hardly the most stable person in existence, aegon had one loving parental figure who for some kind of miracle has managed to not give him a shitload of trauma that you’d send him to four different therapists with. and for that matter before going to the wall jon had it so not sheltered that ***tyrion lannister*** of all people had to get him to check his privilege TM at the wall and explain him why all the lowborn people hated him/that he sounded like he thought he was better than all of them because as bad as he had it with cat, in comparison to all of them he was sheltered af same as the other stark kids, and while I don’t blame ned for that........ if jon and dany were *not* sheltered according to you, sorry to say but dany’s tenure in mereen hasn’t been the best ever and jon’s tenure at the wall ended with him being so good at PR he got murdered by 80% of the damned watch in a mutiny, this argument is realy not holding up;

also: anon, I swear, not coming with a shitload of trauma actually is a good point in your favor. like, there isn’t one single person in westeros rn who has had power who wasn’t somehow having a shitload of trauma worth four therapists, and if they didn’t have it they developed it during their tenure (see: robb). and it shows because all of them make mistakes that are tied directly to their unresolved traumas. and most of them hadn’t ruled anywhere before either. the fact that every single fault aegon might have is stuff that any hormonal sixteen year-old might have and grow out from rather than consequences of trauma/abuse/fucked up family situations - like at most he’s a bit entitled but lmao if that is the problem then he can go put himself in line since westeros is choke-full of entitled people - is actually a huge point in his favor because it means that there’s a way lower chance that being in power would get a toll on his mental health and he wouldn’t handle the pressure;

also, not counting the fact that he’s more well-learned than anyone who is giving it a shot, that he speaks also essosi languages so that would be extremely helpful with keeping contact over there, that he actually studied everything that he might need to personally supervise things and not needing to trust advisors who might want to backstab him which is in itself way more than anyone else with at shot at the throne has...... guys, not to be that person, but do y’all realize that the first sign of good parenting is actually raising a kid who will disagree with you and hold their ground if they think they’re right and who won’t blindly go for anything you might want? and as much as everyone in this fandom seems to think that aegon is there to get manipulated by everyone around him.... the first thing he does when he gets to westeros and jonc tells him to stay back when they take storm’s end is going like ‘nah I’ll lead the attack and that’s final’, and also he’s so privileged and sheltered that his kingsguard requirements are ‘they’re willing to die for me’ and that’s it, not that the people in it are nobles or high lords? like, jonc raised him so badly that not only he has no issues sharing his opinion and making it value and not giving a fuck that others might not want him to do it regardless of his position, but he also has even less prejudices than jon himself who was the one telling him that the kg should be reserved for highborns? do we assume this is the kind of person who the moment he’s in charge wouldn’t gaf about the smallfolk? or who would let the small council lead him around if he wasn’t sure of what they were proposing? also he listened to tyrion’s advice and took it into account and decided to go for it based on his own understanding and guess what, aegon and jonc were in adwd for what, four tyrion chapters or five maybe plus two of jonc’s and they accomplished in that time span more than anyone else has in the last two books put together when it comes to efficiency. like. the kid doesn’t fuck around and knows what he wants and how to get it, and the fact that he’s been trained for it by people who knew what was needed for that job shows.

like: sorry anon, but aegon vi targaryen as it is right now is literally the most qualified person for that job and the fact that he also is mentally ready to handle it because the person who raised him was so bad at it that he came up with the only literal teenager in westeros who has *normal* teenager issues and doesn’t need a therapist stat and who also has, differently from what 90% of this fandom thinks, a personality and who is not afraid to show it and to use his brain to take his own decisions even if it means disagreeing with the only parental figure he has/their plans for him......... sorry to say, but it’s the actual winning card here. not counting the fact that if you had an education for ruling a realm you’ll automatically have better premises than people who did not and have to figure it out from scratch with advisors who actually have no experience with that either (like all of dany’s entourage before tyrion gets there in the show, let’s not even discuss the books, doesn’t have one single person who has that kind of training, they’re from different fields that are not counseling rulers in political matters, and jon at the wall hardly has that never mind that he pushes away most people he’s friends with which is Not A Good Idea, and robb was trained to be a lord not a king, and it shows that the moment cat was out of the picture he fucked up 90% of his political decisions.. and robb is my favorite character guys but let’s be real X°D aegon has them instead).

now, I don’t think he’ll realistically last long enough on that throne to prove it, but if this is your argument against aegon’s targ restoration, sorry but I’m afraid it doesn’t really prove anything. and for that matter if we see ‘having had a crappy childhood/having come from an abusive situation/not being *sheltered*’ as basic requirements needed to rule then we’ve got a problem, because every single noble person in westeros is born sheltered and 90% of the time stays sheltered unless they’re not the kind of people who talk to the smallfolk/get involved or are stannis baratheon and don’t gaf about class background. like, everyone noble generally is. and at that point if the choice is in between someone who needs four therapists to cope with their shit before even attempting to go for it and someone who doesn’t I’ll grant you that the latter choice isn’t automatically the worst. ps: this comes from someone whose only top five character who wouldn’t need therapy is davos, and the other four together would need at least a soccer team of them to deal with all of their shit, so I’m not saying that people with trauma can’t rule - heck, I think jon did a fair good job of it and dany tried her best and robb did too and while he was hand tyrion did an even too good job of it, and others succeeded while handling it, but if you’re telling me that the reason aegon would fail is that he doesn’t have years worth of trauma to unpack at the therapist’s office sorry but if anything it’s a point in his favor. X°DDDD