#[ and a trust of the fact she knows that- which is again different context ]

[spiderwarden]

saying "I love you." or "You are beautiful", or any of the variation thereof the latter, will always get the same response from Minthara. And it is two words, "I know."

[underdark-dreams]

It's finally here, all 7k words of it 👀 Thank you for everyone who read chapter 1, and waited so patiently!

[ch1]

Birds and Bees - Ch.2

Rolan isn't usually the type to accept help. In his defense, Tav is very persuasive—and he is very, very desperate.

Tags: Tailplay, Oral Sex, Biting, NSFW | Word Count: 7.7k [Read on AO3]

Rolan didn’t appear again for the rest of the day.

After their awkward exchange this morning, Tav felt she might be somewhat to blame. She tried to recall the bits of Tiefling etiquette she’d picked up from the Elturians; perhaps touching his tail had crossed some sort of line? Either way, the gesture seemed unthinkably forward to her now. 

Then again…Rolan was the one who’d coiled his tail across her desk like that, its tip nearly brushing her hand as she wrote. She’d never seen him do anything like it before. If she didn't know him so well, she’d have found the move almost flirtatious.

At shop’s close, Cal took charge of locking up the front. Tav caught sight of the large iron keyring he carried and realized that it must be Rolan’s. So his brother had checked in on him today, at least—that gave her a modicum of relief.

Lia pitched in to help wipe down all her equipment and carefully fill the many waiting bottles with her cooled elixir. Tav held her tongue from repeating any of the worries she’d made after Rolan during the day—but it seemed her silence was just as damning.

“Stop fussing,” Lia repeated firmly. “Rolan’s just overdue for a rest. I mean, you saw his face.”

“I did.” Rolan had never been the type to slow down or show weakness easily. To Tav, the fact that he’d willingly taken himself to bed worried her more than anything. “Just promise you won't let him turn down a healer if he needs one?”

“If it comes to that, which it won't,” Lia said down to her work. “I promise we’ll find someone, okay?”

Tav kept her tone teasing as she packed away the sealed bottles in their crate. “Hmm, yes…if only you already knew someone with some knowledge of healing.”

Lia let out a bark of laughter. “Trust me, you’re the last person Rolan wants to see right now.”

The sting of those words took Tav by surprise herself. Lia caught their edge too; she pulled up with a grimace, letting a few drops of antidote dribble onto the desk. “Shit, Tav, I didn't mean it like that.”

“It’s okay,” Tav replied, making a fuss of sealing up the filled crate. The thought made her feel rather less than okay, which she didn't want Lia to see. “I think—I don’t know. I feel like I did something rude today, anyway.”

“Oh?” Lia’s tone was light, but she allowed a conspicuous pause to stretch between them. Tav pushed through a twinge of embarrassment to turn to face her.

“Lia, what would you think if I touched your tail?”

Lia glanced up with an eyebrow cocked. “What, right now?”

“No, just—say I did by accident.”

Lia straightened to take a thoughtful inhale. “I mean…it depends on the context. You and I are friends, I wouldn’t think much of it. Unless you grabbed it up by my backside or something,” she added with a laugh. “It wouldn’t be a big deal. If I’m walking somewhere crowded, lots of people might brush against it unless I’m careful.”

Tav had moved around to reset the rest of her clean glassware as she listened, feeling marginally relieved by the explanation.

Then Lia paused her work again. “Are you saying you touched Rolan’s tail?

“You what now?”

With impeccable timing, Cal skidded to a stop at the edge of the conversation, a heavy lockbox under one arm.

Tav glanced between the two of them. “Yes?” The word came out as a question somehow; her mouth went dry as they stared at her. “Like you said, I didn't think it was a big deal. He laid it on my desk while I was working, so I just kind of—” She mimed a little picking-up motion with her hand.

The siblings exchanged a significant look with each other. 

“What?” Tav felt her face burning and knew the color must be noticeable to either of them. “How does it being Rolan’s tail make it different?”

Cal turned back to her with a frown. “What do you mean he laid it on your desk?”

“I don't know, damn—clearly I’m no expert!” She flailed her arms out a bit. “I just turned around and it was sitting there by my hand, all right?”

Another shared glance.

“That explains it,” Cal decided. It earned him a swift pinch on the arm from his sister. “Ow, hey—”

Tav looked between them again, trying to translate. “Explains what? Seriously, if I offended Rolan somehow, I want to kn—”

“You didn’t,” Lia cut in firmly. “This one here's just an idiot. It’s harder to control your tail when you're sick or tired, and Rolan’s been both, that’s all. I'm sure it was a mistake. And he shouldn't have minded you moving it,” she finished with a decisive nod.

With that, Lia snatched up the filled crate from her with one arm and grabbed her brother’s sleeve with the other. Cal stumbled slightly as she pulled him along, but he wisely held his tongue as they headed for the back stockroom. The hinges creaked shut behind them both.

Tav was left standing alone in the cavernous interior of Sorcerous Sundries, beside the desks that she and Rolan used to comfortably share—not sure if she should feel better or worse.

—

The next morning, Rolan was once again nowhere to be found.

He hadn’t even conjured his projection the way he usually did when occupied with research in the Tower. It was a shame; the shop was unusually busy by midday, and Cal and Lia worked without pause. When she could, Tav left her alchemy just to lend a hand with customers or make runs to the supply room.

She found herself worried to the point of irritation. Was Rolan really so stubborn that he wouldn’t take a potion? Or accept healing from someone he’d claimed was a trusted friend and colleague? She tried and failed not to be hurt by it.

Then again, Rolan had always been the type to shoulder his way through awful things alone while firmly turning down help—particularly from her. His apprenticeship, most recently. The memory made her radiantly angry on his behalf even now.

“Shit—” 

Tav jerked away from the flask and sucked on her freshly scalded thumb. She must have the ratios off again; this recipe wasn’t new to her, but the nuances had escaped her all morning. These sublimates shouldn’t get nearly so hot when mixed.

Might as well admit defeat and review the recipe before she wasted yet another bunch of black oleander. Surely there was a reference text somewhere in Rolan’s library?

Tav glanced around to the front of the shop. Cal was recording a sale at the front desk; Lia was chatting with a very large half-orc over near the conjurement runes. Things seemed well enough in hand. Tav damped the flame at her station and quietly took the stairs for the portal.

For lack of a better word: the library of Ramazith’s Tower was absolutely magical. 

Tav stood breathing in the quiet afternoon sunlight, taking an appreciative look up around her. The collection must be the best one this side of Candlekeep, with all sorts of books on spellcraft, Weave theory, alchemy, religion, the history of Toril—just to scratch the surface. She could think of no hands more deserving than the ones its ownership had fallen into.

Just as Lia mentioned the other day, Rolan had clearly been hard at work reorganizing the place. She ran her fingertips over the books’ spines as she walked around the perimeter of the main floor.

She imagined Rolan with his robe sleeves pushed to his elbows, enthusiastically at work in his book stacks, and bit back a grin. There was something so endearing about his passion for taming disorder. As she walked, she found her gaze drifting to the delicate staircase at the far end of the main floor. It spiraled upward invitingly. 

She’d never been to the upper floors of Ramazith’s Tower—nothing past the library. Certainly she hadn’t stepped foot in any of the private quarters of Rolan or his siblings. She wouldn’t even know which door led to whose.

But her mind wandered readily at the thought of Rolan’s bedroom. What it might look like…smell like. 

No doubt it was packed with shelves of books and scrolls, filled with the scent of fresh parchment and leather-bound volumes. That warm, bookish smell that seemed to be woven into his robes. The fresh hint of cedar from the way he kept his clothes meticulously cleaned and stored. And that other faint spice that she could never identify, but always picked up when he stood close to her.

The same scent that had filled her lungs with dizzy pleasure when he’d hovered close to her yesterday, chin brushing her shoulder and arm circled possessively around her waist— 

She bit her lip as heat pooled between her legs at the memory. She couldn't help it—how very fucking nice it had been to feel Rolan’s elegant hands on her, casually and effortlessly touching, as if he was accustomed to touching her much more often and much more intimately.

It would do no good to dwell on that moment. If anything, the uncharacteristic gesture was just proof of how out-of-sorts Rolan must be feeling. He was her friend, and by all accounts, he’d been too sick to leave his room for days. 

With a sudden burst of determination and a disregard for the consequences, she strode for the stairs.

Taking the curving ascent so rapidly left her dizzy. Tav planted her boots on the landing for a moment, holding onto the railing while she took in her surroundings.

This upper hall was also quietly sunlit, filled with fine carpeting and oak paneled walls; but the atmosphere was somehow less grand than the cavernous library below. More intimate. 

Two doors stood on both ends of the hall. Hazarding a guess, she stepped to the closest one on her left. Its heavy oak panels swung forward with the slightest touch.

Not a bedroom at all, but a bath—and a tremendously fine one at that. All the fixtures seemed to be wrought from polished gold. Underneath a towering stained glass window stood the deepest, widest clawfoot tub she’d ever seen.

As she gazed around, Tav caught sight of her reflection in a large glass above the sinks. Her hair was all frizzy flyaways from a day over her potion work. Indulging a bit of vanity, she paused to tame it with her fingers.

One of Rolan’s many endearing habits was his dedication to fastidiousness. Never a hair out of place, horns polished and shining, robes immaculately pressed—knowing him, with a bit of the Weave.

She must look like some sort of wild hedge witch by comparison. Tav had never minded life in the wilds as a wayward adventurer, even after the Elder Brain was felled to the Chionthar. It was part of what drew her to the career of a traveling alchemist. 

But there were moments…most of them in this Tower, with Rolan and his siblings. Sharing a meandering dinner at a real table with actual chairs. Sitting with Rolan out on the starlit balcony, discussing blood alchemy over a glass of wine as they watched the harbor.  

Tav forced her hands still and stared back at her reflection. 

“What do you want?” She muttered to herself. The Tav in the mirror had no answer. But in her mind, one softly bloomed.

Over the past months, her feelings had tumbled forward faster than she could keep up with them. Seeing Rolan, talking with him about anything and everything, working beside him in quiet moments—she found those were the moments she looked forward to most.

His offer to turn one of the Tower’s empty vaults into a greenhouse for her. Essentially giving her a permanent place in his home, if she wanted it. Was it stupid to hope that he wanted more, too?

As she stood frozen silent in the confines of her lavish surroundings, a muffled sound came from her right.

She hadn't noticed the second door past the bathtub; presumably connecting to one of the bedrooms. She realized it most likely led to Rolan’s.

She stepped toward the heavy oak paneling and raised a hand to knock. As she did, more muffled noises came from within. Tav hesitated, questioning whether she should—then leaned in to press one ear to the wood.

There were the sounds of labored breathing, as if from pain or exertion. She strained her ear harder. There was something almost…rhythmic in it.

And then—she could swear—she heard Rolan's voice groan her name aloud.

A shock of heat ran through her chest, prickling up her neck and diving between the cleft of her legs. The rapid, hot ache at her core made her gasp out in surprise, then clap a hand to her mouth lest he heard. She felt her cheeks burning with realization.

Whatever she had expected to find by wandering up here…this had never been on the list. All she saw in her mind’s eye was Rolan, sweating and panting and desperate. And that thought filled her with overwhelming want in response.

Tav pushed herself back from the door with a jolt. She turned and ran, not knowing or caring whether the ring of her footsteps on tile carried past the door. Her pulse pounded against her ears as she rushed out of the room and back for the staircase. 

Even before Tav’s foot hit the third stair, she knew she was headed for the Elfsong. And a very stiff fucking drink.

—

Day passed to night and back to day again in a feverish jumble. Like a vessel adrift in a vast ocean, Rolan was passed along wave after wave of searing impulse.

Had his ruts always been this overwhelming, and he’d just forgotten? Or was there something different about the drives this time around? 

Even the little dignities were stripped away, one by one. He began by conjuring mage hands at first, but his concentration faltered too many times at the cusp. He finally just settled for his own grip. Desperate sounds rose in his chest each time he neared his next finish, the likes of which he’d never utter voluntarily.

And he quickly gave up on clothes altogether. He lay naked and spread-eagle on his sheets and tried to sleep when he could, before his demanding cock inevitably twitched back to life again. The fever turned his dreams shockingly lewd whenever he did manage to drift off.

By sunset, another strong wave of need was pulsing through his core, demanding his attention. Rolan lay back against his pillows and groaned open-mouthed as he stroked himself.

Even slick with oil, the friction between his hand and the raw, overstimulated ridges of his cock bordered on painful. His finish danced out of reach to the back of his mind.

With an impatient growl, he flipped over to his knees and snatched up a feather pillow, folding it into a sleeve for his cock. A crude solution—but with his first few thrusts, the cool softness of the silk caused a moan of relief to rise in his throat. He squeezed his eyes shut as he fucked his own pillow in a desperate chase for relief.

And behind his eyelids, there she was again.

Tav appeared there so easily now. He’d tried to fight it at first—ashamed to be using her like this, without her knowledge or consent—but he found that nothing satisfied his urges so well as when he pictured her on his cock.

So he closed his eyes and imagined Tav…pliant, eager, hungry. Legs spread and center dripping with desire for him. The shameful depth of his need faded away as he fantasized her own. How her eyes might shine as she panted and gasped under him, calling him by name and begging him to fuck her and fill her and mark her as his—

What would she sound like as he took her? He conjured the timbre of her voice, always warm and musical, now canting to a whine as the ridges at his base slammed against her with each thrust.

Pressure coiled rapid and hot at his loins. Rolan slid off the mattress with legs braced, the pillow cast aside, and tugged frantically at his stiff length again. His tail arched and flicked behind him.

Through clenched eyelids he saw Tav laid at the foot of his bed, hair splayed in a messy crown against his sheets as she cried out his name. Her legs crossed behind his flanks to hold him deep inside her tight wet heat—

‘Rolan—’ She moaned louder, her heels digging into his lower back as he took her. Tav gripped two handfuls of the bedding underneath as he thrust relentlessly, chasing more of her heat around his cock, more of the delicious scent at her throat and between her legs—

“Rolan!”

“Fuck—” With a strangled gasp, Rolan’s hips stuttered one last time as his come spilled in ropes to the floor. Panting and shaking, he caught hold of the bed post with one hand as he frantically worked out the rest of his finish with the other. His head spun with the force of it.

But as he opened his eyes and his vision cleared, so did that cottony feeling in his ears. Someone was rapping insistently on the door to his room.

“Rolan, we need to talk—” Even muffled by the heavy wood, Tav’s voice was unmistakable.

“Fuck,” Rolan hissed again, this time with enough wits about him to panic. How much of that last performance could she hear through the door? He snatched up the nearest towel to wipe himself, then tripped away toward the pile of clothes on the floor that had lain untouched since yesterday.

“Go away,” he called tersely, nevertheless yanking the trousers up over his hips. Thank hells that last round had left him soft enough he could do up the laces for now.

On the other side of the door, she was undeterred. “I’m not leaving till I’ve seen you.”

Rolan cursed as one of his horns snagged the ties at the neck of his shirt. Once the fabric dropped over his torso, he whirled around to take in the state of his room. 

Bedsheets pulled sideways from the mattress; pillows strewn across the floorboards; air thick with the smell of him. Absolute filthy shambles.

Using a rush of energy he couldn't afford, he cast a mass prestidigitation spell on the space. The improvement in the air was immediate. But the resulting light-headedness caused him to stumble forward; he caught himself with a hand braced on the door frame.

“I'm not joking,” Tav called loudly, unaware he was now much closer.

He could have yelled at her to wait outside for another week, then, if he wasn't so sure she was stubborn enough to actually do so. After all, this was the person who’d defeated an Elder Brain and taken on several gods in the process.

That…and he found he badly wanted to see Tav in the flesh. Hearing her voice from just beyond his bedroom door only increased that desire. Rolan’s tail lashed behind him in helpless frustration.

“What do you want?” He asked instead, lowering his voice. No use broadcasting any more of this conversation to the whole Tower.

There was a pause on the other side of the oak paneling. “I’ve barely seen you since I got here,” Tav’s voice replied, matching his volume.

“And?” 

“And I'm worried about you…obviously,” she added. “Cal and Lia said you’re sick. But I’d feel better if we could talk face to face.” Even through the barrier between them, he could hear a strain in her voice. She wasn't lying. 

Rolan rested his horns against his braced forearm with a sigh. “Tav, I swear I'm perfectly fine.”

“Then just open the door a moment. Please, Rolan?”

It was far too pleasant to hear her say his name outside of his own imaginings. Rolan glanced down at himself. Barefoot, shirt untucked, but technically presentable. And not pitching a tent for once in the past twenty-four hours. 

“If I do, will you leave?” 

There was another pause. “If you want me to,” came the reply. He unbolted the latch and drew it open to shoulder width.

The wave of Tav’s scent hit him almost before he registered her face in front of him. The sweetness of it overwhelmed his other senses for a moment. It tested all Rolan’s limited reserves of sanity not to grab her by the waist and pull her body against him.

Unaware of the silent struggle raging in his chest, Tav stood with face tilted up toward his. Her eyes had traveled over his figure immediately, checking him over with a worried little crease between her brows. Something at the side of his head caught her eye; Rolan realized his hair hung loose and rather sweaty, exposing the slender tips of his ears.

Her demeanor changed at the sight. Tav sighed, leaning her head against the flat of the door.

“You’re even handsome with a fever,” she told him softly.

Rolan blinked at her. Perhaps exhaustion and hormones were driving him to hallucinations. “What are you—”

Faster than he could react, her palms landed on either side of his face, and Tav pulled his mouth down to hers.

A burst of colors exploded behind his eyes; the sensation of her lips moving on his kindled the dormant heat in his body to wild blaze. She notched her hands upward as she kissed him, and her fingers slid up along the sensitive tapers of both his ears.

Rolan let out a hungry, animal sound against her mouth. Both hands landed on her back and crushed the line of her body forward into his, leaving no space between them. He could feel the soft hills of her breasts pressing against his chest through clothing. The warm scent rolling off her skin and hair surrounded him with dizzying force.

The higher part of his mind was screaming at him. Rolan desperately tried to focus on what it was saying; as he did, he caught the tang of wine on her lips. The discovery gave him just enough will to pull back from her.

And he did, with one jerking step back into his chambers. “You can’t be here.”

Tav stood panting through parted lips, eyes half-lidded as they traveled over him. Rolan felt flames lick his skin everywhere they moved.

“Why not?” She breathed. “I wanted to see you.”

“You’re drunk,” he told her. He rather felt that way himself, still reeling from the electricity of kissing her.

Tav pouted at that, and Rolan wished to bite that lower lip firmly between his teeth. “I’m not drunk,” she corrected. “I’ve had a drink. There’s a difference.”

“You wouldn’t be here if—”

“If what?” Tav watched him as she took a step closer. Rolan stepped back in tandem, reflexive. She was well over the threshold now. “If I knew what was really happening to you?”

Those words sounded much more knowing than he liked. Rolan stared at her, trying to read into her face. He swallowed against the dry lump of his tongue and went out on a limb. “Which one of them told you?”

Tav shook her head. “Cal and Lia have been nothing but discreet.” 

“Then how could you possibly understand?” He demanded. The very recent discovery of how soft Tav’s lips were was making it very difficult to maintain this conversation. He could still feel the way her body had pressed into him.

One corner of her mouth twitched. “Rolan, I’d like to think I’m not completely oblivious. There have been…signs. And I’ve had a lot of time to think about them. I’ve been at the Elfsong all afternoon, just—thinking.”

At that, Rolan felt his tail twitching nervously behind him. “I see,” he replied. Pivoting, like an idiot, trying to pretend this was a perfectly acceptable conversation to have with the woman who occupied most of his thoughts when he was pleasuring himself. “And you think that I—that my—”

Tav made a quick twisting motion to get around the door. She latched it and drew the bolt closed behind them, then turned back to him.

“A lot of humans have heard rumors about Tieflings,” she confessed. “Some stupid, but some credible. I’m saying this is maybe not the secret that you think it is.” As he watched, a much deeper blush spread over Tav’s cheeks. She glanced away to the side. 

“Rolan…I grew up in the Dales, remember? Around rabbits, and cattle, and oxen. Half my friends lived on farms.”

Her analogy couldn’t be clearer. To hear her lay it out so plainly—Rolan felt the last dregs of his pride shrivel up and die. He gripped two palms over his eyes and let out a groan of abject humiliation, turning away to the middle of the room. 

How early had she connected the dots? The moment she felt him brazenly place a hand around her? Had she known all along that he was locked up here, rutting into every one of his pillows?

“Look, Rolan, I’m sorry—I didn’t know how else to say it—” 

Completely overwhelmed by his embarrassment, he hadn’t heard her follow. When Rolan finally dropped his hands from his face, he turned to find Tav standing very close to his chest.

“And I’m sorry for kissing you before,” she blurted out. “I mean, I’m not sorry for it…I’ve wanted to do that for a long time, to be honest. But it wasn’t fair. I just…wanted to know how you’d react.”

Rolan watched as her chest rose and fell heavily where she stood. The look in her eyes made his blood pound through his veins. He felt an urge to reach out and smooth back her hair to bring her in for another kiss, one he resisted.

“I care about you,” Rolan told her, before he could lose his nerve. “Our friendship. I respect you, Tav, it’s not worth—muddying things with this.” 

He felt fingers lacing through the ones that hung at his side, and despite his words Rolan tightened his grip automatically. Her hand was so pleasantly cool against the heat of his skin.

“Why do you think I’m here?” Tav answered earnestly. “I care about you, too. If I can help, I want to. Please—”

She was so close to him; Rolan breathed shallowly, but the warm scent rolling off her skin and hair nevertheless swept past him with dizzying force.

“You don’t know what you’re offering,” he managed hoarsely.

She didn’t falter. “Then tell me what else you think I should know.”

His senses were growing clouded with her; the offer that had tumbled so easily from her rang in his ears. It made the thread of Rolan’s control stretch dangerously taut.

“I won’t be gentle,” he warned. 

His inadvertent shift in tone changed something in the air between them. There was a crackling energy that hadn't been there a second before.

Tav licked her lips as she watched him. “Good.”

Rolan thought he might melt from the heat that spread across his skin. His tail snapped against the mattress behind him. If she moved a step closer, she’d feel how hard he was in his pants.

“Mating bites,” he went on hoarsely. “I’ll mark you. Quite a lot. I’ll try not to draw blood, but…I can’t promise it.”

Tav nodded. “What else?” She asked, encouraging him to go on. 

Rolan swallowed against the embarrassment. But this was important for her to know. “This time for us, it’s all about…reproduction. We become quite virile.” He nearly choked, but there was simply no other way to put it. “For the urges to pass quicker, I need to come in you.”

Tav let out a throaty hum of approval. His cock twitched in his pants at the sound. “That’s fine, I take preventatives—it’s safe.”

They stood looking at each other for another moment. That shivery, electric feeling buzzed in the air around them. Rolan wondered if she could hear the way his heart drummed against his ribs.

Tav leaned in slightly. “Well…” She said, and her wet tongue passed nervously between her lips again.

That taut thread in his chest snapped in two. Rolan crushed her up against him with a whimper. Arms circling around her waist, he nudged a thigh between her legs and firmly ground their hips together.

Tav matched his eagerness. Their lips crashed together; at the back of his mind, he felt her grip cradling under each of his ears. Her fingertips licked like flame against his scalp.

Even through layers of clothing, he could feel the heat of her. Rolan jerked her hips forward harder against his thigh; the swelling length of his cock pressed against her soft, yielding center. Tav dipped her head back from the kiss, arching into him with a moan, and her fingertips laced at the nape of his neck. 

It offered an irresistible angle at the column of her throat. Rolan’s claws raked back in her hair, pulling it to a tight ponytail. Then he tugged firmly, holding her open as his mouth descended on her neck.

He kissed and sucked along the band of muscle from her ear to the curve of her shoulder, then parted his lips to bite down firmly on her soft flesh. 

“Yes,” Tav moaned in approval above him. Her hips rolled into his, grinding herself against the hard cock straining in his pants. Rolan felt her pulse skip against his mouth. Only when he tasted sweet copper did he pull away, laving his tongue over the crimson pin-pricks of his teeth into her skin.

He took only a moment to admire the trail of marks blooming along her neck. Tav was already pulling him in for another kiss. Their lips crashed together with bruising force; her tongue explored, tasting, searching for proof of her blood against his tongue and moaning against him when she found it.

Her scent filled his mind. Without breaking from her mouth, he plucked open the laces of her pants. Rolan slipped his hand under the waistband, beneath her smalls, and slid two fingers to dip down between her legs. Her folds were shining-slick; as he nudged her in circles, a trickle of her arousal rolled down his fingers. She shivered prettily under his touch.

“You’re soaked,” Rolan groaned against her neck. 

“All because of you,” she breathed without hesitation. “Been wanting this, gods, wanting you for months. Your hands on me—cock in me—”

At the words he withdrew his fingers from her impatiently, then sucked them clean. Her sweet taste on his tongue made his cock ache. She scarcely had time to curse at the sight before Rolan gripped both arms around her waist to lift her into him.

With one quick pivot, he landed her down on the bed with his frame pressed into her. Her legs hung off the edge from the hip down, and he used the position to grind the stiff length in his pants against her cleft.

Even fully clothed, it was maddening. He could feel the wet patch between her legs, and when she arched further into him, a primal growl rumbled in his chest. 

Tav’s fingers were brushing at his sides, tugging at the hem of his shirt. “Off,” she panted impatiently.

Rolan tilted back to rip the garment up over his horns, immediately reaching for her own once his was free. He stripped her frantically, ripping her smallclothes in two before he could work them down her thighs.

When she lay bare beneath him, moaning and arching into everywhere he touched, he was overcome with hunger for more of her taste. 

Rolan gripped her hips, dragging her with a jerk to the edge of the bed. With her glistening folds displayed before him, all he could do was drop to his knees and bury his tongue between them.

The sounds she made were like sweet music as he explored her. He sucked and massaged her slit with his tongue, then plunged it as deep within her walls as he could. His eyes rolled back in his head. Her taste surrounded him; his nose brushed her clit as he ate her, further overwhelming his senses with the scent of her arousal.

“Gods, yes, Rolan—” Tav moaned above him as her hands flew to grip each of his horns. She alternately tugged them and arched into his mouth, grinding her clit against his face.

He wanted to hear her say his name like that another thousand times. Rolan curled his tongue against her walls, determined to taste her even deeper, but to no avail. Without his sharp nails, he would have sunk two fingers into her.

Instead, as his mouth left her, the ridged end of his tail looped around to brush over her slit.

“Ah—” Tav gasped from the bed. One of her hands left him to prop up on an elbow to look. 

He watched her face in adoration as his tail slid between her soaked lips, coating itself in a mixture of her arousal and his saliva. Once it was thoroughly wet, he let the heart-shaped tip push experimentally into her.

Whatever hesitation he had evaporated at the way she arched and keened. He pushed in further, inch by inch, hissing in breath at how tight and wet her walls squeezed around him. Rolan felt his cock leaking between his legs at the sight of his tail disappearing into her plush cunt.

“Taking my tail so well,” Rolan praised without thinking, then groaned. “Fuck, Tav, you’re so tight—”

“Don’t stop,” she demanded, breathless.

When he felt the tip brush the limits of her insides, he held it steady as she panted down at him. Her mouth hung open in anticipation as she watched him lean in again for her center.

But instead of landing on her clit, his mouth met with the soft skin of her inner thigh and sucked it firmly between his teeth.

Tav gave a little yelp of pain, but her walls constricted around his tail so hard he moaned against her flesh. He left two more lovely red marks against her thigh before withdrawing his tail from her, leaving only the tip inside her silk.

Then he thrust back into her and took up a forceful rhythm of stretching her open on his tail.

“Fucking gods,” she gasped, gripping both his horns again. He felt her use them as leverage as she bounced her hips down to meet him. 

“Like this, don’t you?” Rolan urged her on, drunk off her desire. “Fucking yourself on my tail—” He leaned down to take another taste of her clit, swirling and sucking as the ridges on his tail dragged more wetness out of her with each thrust.

“Yes,” Tav moaned, shaking under him as his tongue worked over her clit. “Feels so perfect in me, so—ngh—!”

When he flicked the tip of it up inside her, Tav’s words stuttered to incoherence. He felt her inner walls clench and flutter, and repeated the motion over and over with each thrust.

“I’m—oh, oh ohohoh—”

She dissolved into soft cries. The muscles at her core tensed and shuddered as she climaxed against his tongue. Rolan withdrew his tail from her with a slick release, instead clasping his mouth over her to lap down the sweet taste that poured from her. His pants were so wet he was nearly convinced he’d already come, but he felt his cock straining against the fabric just as firmly.

When her thighs collapsed limp to either side, Rolan pushed himself to his feet for a look at her. Tav’s eyes were bright, cheeks flushed with arousal, her hair coiled out in wild tendrils that framed her like a crown. Their eyes met; with both hands on his arms, she pulled him down for a kiss.

Rolan landed braced on his forearms. Their tongues slid and pushed together, trading the taste of her release. When he felt her reaching between them to undo his laces, he pulled away to loose them and strip off the rest of his clothes. 

Tav reached for his erection, and before he’d steadied himself, she gripped his length to drag the generous droplets of precum around his tip with her thumb. His hips bucked into her.

“Eager, aren’t you?” She teased softly.

“Yes,” Rolan groaned. Tav’s soft hand was around his cock for the first time; it was all he could do to locate words. He knew his face was flushed and tense with arousal, but Tav only looked up at him with appreciation from where she lay back on his bed. 

When she guided his length across the wet of her core, he rocked his hips to drag his ridges across her. She shivered slightly, still sensitive, but rolled into him.

“Need you,” Rolan panted, not sure whether he was asking her or begging. “Tav—please—”

Tav’s hand lined him up with her entrance. When his leaking tip nudged inside her, Rolan pushed forward with one slow, determined cant of his hips.

The cool slick of her walls clutched each inch of him so perfectly. A low groan rose in Rolan’s throat—this was the closest thing to real satisfaction that he’d gotten in days, and he hadn't even started moving yet.

“So good,” Tav said under him, voice sweet and husky. “Keep going—”

Rolan braced his hands against her hips. He pulled out slowly, legs shaking beneath him, then pushed back into the tight plush of her. 

His hips took up a firm pace, and Rolan couldn't bite back his whines as he plunged his cock inside her. Whatever his fevered imagination had conjured, it was nothing compared to this—he fell over her again, fangs skating against her breast as her body rocked under him with each thrust.

“Yes, yes, fuck—” Tav was just as breathless as her fingers gripped the infernal ridges on his shoulder blades. She tugged, egging him on.

Rolan took the invitation with enthusiasm. He nipped and sucked around the swell of her breast, breathing in lungfuls of the sweetness rolling off her skin.

“Harder,” Tav begged, the words vibrating against his lips. The hunger inside him surged in agreement.

Rolan’s lips fastened over one nipple. He sucked, hard, letting his tongue roll her against his teeth. Tav let out a whimper, but he felt her legs crossing around his hips as he continued to bury himself in her.

Rolan pulled away to look at her face. A mist of sweat dusted her brow; Tav’s lips were parted and twitching with silent words. 

“Look at me,” Rolan ordered, still filling her with his cock in a steady rhythm.

Tav obeyed, her eyes shining and pupils blown wide. He straightened away from her, never breaking, and laid a hand each on her calves. Then he pushed up, folding her legs to her chest and opening up her cunt even deeper for him.

“You look so beautiful like this, Tav,” he told her, thighs trembling with the effort of keeping his pace slow and steady. “Folded in half in my bed. Stretched around my cock so perfectly.”

In response, Tav’s hands grabbed her knees, pulling herself open even further to each side. “Is this how you imagined it?” She asked wickedly. “All alone—wishing it was me and not your own hand—”

Heat prickled across his neck and shoulders, but Rolan was too far gone to feel shame. He couldn't resist breaking eye contact, however, watching the way his cock stretched open her dripping cunt.

“Just like this,” he panted in answer. She took in breath to respond, but he was already slamming back into her at a reckless pace.

The lewd, wet sounds of his thrusts filled the room, layered with their chorus of whines and moans. Rolan shuddered at how slick and tight she was around him, perfectly gripping each inch of his needy length. His cock throbbed in anticipation of a satisfying release, finally, after all these times of not quite enough—

“I’m close,” he panted, gripping her hips to pull her down deeper onto his cock. The tip of him nudged against the limits of her walls. “Where should—”

“Inside,” Tav insisted, still holding herself wide for him. “Only inside, Rolan, want you to fill me up—fuck—”

The imagery pushed him over the edge, and he did just that. With a throb of release, he felt his cock pulsing and filling her deepest walls with his seed. His hips stuttered into her as he pushed his spend as far into her as he could reach.

Tav clutched his shoulders as he came, humming and moaning out praises for him. Their hips rocked together, nudging his coated length back against her deep center. 

Tav went tense under him. He forced his eyes open and saw her lips parted in surprise.

“I’m—oh—!” 

She gasped in shock as her own climax gripped her. Rolan hissed in breath at the way she clenched and fluttered so suddenly around him. His length was still hard, and his ridges pulsed against her.

As she drifted back down, Tav’s eyes finally lit on him in a daze. “What…what was that?”

Rolan was abruptly reminded of how many ruts he’d spent without a partner. “I'm sorry, I should've warned you,” he confessed. It was hard to form his thoughts while still inside her. “During the cycle…infernal traits get stronger. Like incubi. Helps attract a partner.” Somehow this explanation was more embarrassing than any of the other filth he’d just spoken to her.

Tav stared up at him. “You're saying your come is going to make me come?”

“Essentially.” Rolan shifted inside her slightly, still not confident he was done. “I apologize—I didn't think to tell you. Is that a problem?”

“Rolan—” Tav let out a breathless laugh, and the sound went straight to his chest. “This is the exact opposite of a problem. Just a bit of a shock, that's all.”

The lovely sight of her happy and satisfied under him was too much to resist. Rolan leaned forward on his arms to kiss her, trapping her legs between their chests.

As her hand stroked softly under his jaw, Rolan felt a second ache settling in his loins. He released her lips for just long enough to push her legs out over his hips, then ducked back down for her mouth.

He rolled his hips into her slower this time, but it was somehow more intense. Their lips stayed connected as he drove into her deep. Her walls were slippery with arousal and his own seed, and they gripped like pure silk around his cock. Her opening slid over the sensitive ridges at his base with each thrust.

When he dipped a thumb between their bodies to rub circles over her clit, Tav broke away with a little gasp.

“I can’t again,” she said, panting.

“You can,” he told her simply. “Hold on to me—” 

She did, wrapping both arms and legs firmly around him as if he was her anchor. Rolan dipped his head to her neck as he doubled his pace, their hips slotting together with each brisk slide into her. He breathed deep against the curve of her shoulder.

Still so hungry for release, it wasn't long before he came again hard. This time he just barely pumped his spend into her before he pulled out to look down.

Sticky white seed dribbled out of her slit, running down toward her hole. He dipped the thumb circling her clit down to swipe it back up across her cunt, painting his come across the bundle of nerves at her peak.

Tav’s thighs twitched under him, and she gripped his arm tight with one hand. She swore as he continued flicking across her clit with the wet pad of his thumb, then whined out his name.

While her next orgasm nearly doubled her in half, Rolan tilted his head to watch the sight between her legs. She was soaked, twitching, utterly intoxicating. Her contracting walls pushed more of his spend out of her; it flowed generously from her slit and soaked down into the bedding below.

Finding himself now utterly spent, Rolan collapsed on his back next to her. As he did, he realized his legs had grown fatigued to the point of buckling from the exertions. He let his body sink heavy into the mattress. 

“I made a mess on your sheets,” Tav panted from beside him. 

Rolan groaned at her descriptive language. The fact that his length continued softening was a sign his urges were finally giving him a reprieve, however. “It was mostly my fault.”

She only let out a weak breath of laughter.

Too tired to trust his shaking legs, he reached an arm blind over the side of the bed and snatched up the first fabric it touched. His discarded shirt.

Pushing himself seated, he gently reached to dry between Tav’s legs. One of her hands traced the ridges on his back as he quietly tended to her.

“How long before the next?” She asked him.

“An hour or two.” Rolan didn't look at her. “Tav, you've done more than enough for m—”

The mattress shifted as she sat up and turned his face into a waiting kiss. It was soft, just a chorus of little presses across his lips.

When Tav pulled away, she tucked the damp curtain of his hair behind one ear. “Rolan, unless you want me to go, I'm staying until it’s over.”

Rolan cast a glance over her. Despite the fact that she was naked in his bed and covered in blooming bruises from his mouth, she was very much the same Tav as ever. “Thank you,” he told her quietly.

She pushed him onto his back with a sudden laugh, landing with her chest pressed to his. “What an utterly Rolan thing to say,” she mused. “Need I remind you I just came three times?”

Tav was teasing him, and was of a mind to put her in her place—only he found that none of his limbs wanted to move at the moment. Instead, his only response was a deep hum as his eyelids drooped shut.

He felt the mattress shift as she rose and wished he could reach out to stop her. But a moment later she curled up next to him again, dragging a soft quilt over their bodies. 

Rolan turned inward to rest his head on Tav’s chest—and fell into his first real slumber in days.

[weepynymph]

I gotta talk about this moment even though it's been discussed a million times

Zuko, opening up to someone about his scar for the first time (from what we’ve seen in the show at least, but we can reasonably assume he hasn’t spoken about it like this since he got it) and explicitly stating that whilst he's always associated it with with failures ('the mark of the banished prince'), he's finally ready to take control and change his life for the better. And whilst he has accepted that he can never change his scar, it’s ok because he still has the power to change his destiny.

And despite this assurance, Katara, the healer, still jumps in and offers to heal it anyway, understanding that this is still a burden she could lift from him - 'What if you could be free of it?'

She knows it won't change his life in the same way taking control of his own destiny will, but still, it's like she can't help but try to ease his pain. Even if it's a pain that's long since become a permanent part of him, something that might seem surface level or cosmetic to others - 'It's a scar, it can't be healed.'

And then we have this

'I've been saving it for something important.'

This. Healing Zuko's scar. A wound that has, for all intents and purposes already healed and is not longer a threat to his life, but still burdens him emotionally. That has come to represent all of his trauma. This Katara considers important enough to use her limited and precious supply of spirit oasis water. In the middle of a war. In the middle of a dangerous journey to save the world in which she and her friends might be seriously injured at any time (including in this scene, where Ba sing se is literally under attack as they speak).

And if that weren't enough

'I don't know if it would work'

Now, I don't know the mechanics of spirit water in the atla universe, but it seems to be pretty heavily implied later in the episode when she uses the water to heal Aang, and for a moment thinks that it hasn't worked, that it's sort of a one-time deal.

Which means that she's willing to potentially waste the spirit water just on the off-chance that it might remove the scar. Which in the context of the wider story seems utterly insane.

But Katara thinks it's worth the risk.

And presented with this opportunity, this beautiful, selfless offer to ease his suffering, even on a purely physical, surface level, Zuko wordlessly submits, and lets her touch his scar.

Now, Katara doesn't know quite how significant this touch is (although she's very emotionally intuitive so I'm sure she has some inkling of the gravity of this action) but we do. We know that Zuko doesn't let anyone touch his scar, ever. So what this communicates to us as an audience is that Zuko is allowing himself, for the first time, to put his complete trust in someone. To be completely, 100% vulnerable with them.

And the moment of touch is all the more significant because, in many ways, it isn't even strictly necessary.

Katara's hands are empty, she isn't putting the spirit water to his face, to attempting to heal it here. And while I'd argue this touch could be a practical one - assessing the damage of the scar with her hands to see how to proceed before she uses the water - the moment after, right before they are interrupted, isn't one of practical, medical assessment, but of intimacy.

The way Zuko waits, patiently, eyes closed, and the way Katara pauses, just for a moment, doing what I can only describe as gazing at him, and that slow blink in the middle- Again, not examining his scar or reaching for the spirit water to begin, but just taking it all in.

It's so breathtakingly intimate and vulnerable - a point of connection between these two people who are supposedly so completely different but are, here, somehow so alike in their openness and understanding of one another.

That Katara offers to heal Zuko's scar even when he's said moments before that he's made his peace with the fact that he's never be free of it. And the way he accepts her offer without words because she's right, part of him does want to be free of it.

It's just an absolute masterclass in creating an immediate and powerful connection and bond between two characters in an incredibly short space of time from a start point of complete opposition without rushing it or making it seem implausible.

[lina-studen]

It seems that annabel lee is beginning to understand that everything is completely different now. nevermore academy is a new context in which she and lenore have chosen their separate ways.

when they were alive, annabel lee, without exaggeration, was the only light in lenore’s life. before meeting her, lenore was constantly numbed down by ether, she lived in complete isolation and couldn't even walk. annabel lee made her laugh and play music again, brought back her will for life, ability to leave the room on her own.

the old lenore was ready to do anything to see annabel again. she robbed her parents, committed arson, took a new identity for herself. and all that despite the fact that she didn’t even know how annabel would react, where it would lead them.

despite the fact that annabel lee left her in such a cruel way. sure, her words weren't true, and lenore didn't believe her, but she had no actual guarantees.

but now it's different. at the nevermore academy, lenore is not deprived of her own agency. she has allies, friends, whom she trusts. she's not willing to step over them and believes that it's possible to find a way to be saved together. she's not ready to leave them for annabel lee. lenore still cherishes her, but starts to trust her less, having encountered annabel's more “dark” side. it's not helped by the fact that lenore's memory is still pretty much fractured.

but what about аnnabel? she was just as lonely before, her life was planned out without any regard for her wishes by her father. a father who was ashamed of her mental issues and brushed her anxiety aside. lenore, on the contrary, was a person who didn't need anything from her, who had no benefit from being with her, a real friend. she was the only person who made annabel's mask crack, because lenore cared about how she really felt.

and now what? she is even more lonely. annabel lee is surrounded by people she doesn't trust, she has to pretend all the time, even around lenore. because she has forsed herself into this game where she distances herself from the only person she cares about. to the point when she starts to feel like she's not so special for lenore anymore, like lenore doesn't need her that much.

for a long time, annabel didn't fully realize that lenore wasn't sharing her approach, approving of such game rules. maybe she realizes now. but I don't think that will make annabel change her ways. she's already gone too far. and the crack between these two is likely to only get wider.

[sillyyuserr]

Chapter 117 analysis (WE’RE SO BACK) obviously spoilers for chapter 117 and chapter 114

i cooked with this one trust

Everyones looking for them yadayadayada terukane

Yk im pretty sure this is meant to be lore heavy but LOOK AT THEM

I don’t know how to word this correctly but since chapter 115/116 between akane and teru there seems to have been something that happened in which they stopped being freaky?? 😭 like ykwim hold on

in chapter 114 this happened

completely ruined almost everything they had, but in the span of a few days, shit still going on, they havent had their deserved break yet like they got on chapter 96-97 and somehow in the midst of all this teru’s forgiven(?) him and just moved on?? Really not sure but based on what we know ab the red house the next chapter may answer some of our questions

Also, this is so little i didn’t see it the first time reading but teru goes to the drink machine thing to get one and mixes like 4 of the sodas,

takes one sip decides its shit and switches with akane’s already half drunken out of tea. Indirect kiss guys wait

Also this is JUST like the date they all went on when aoi was gone. Again, aoi is gone here too 😭 my girl getting left out of everything is acc crazy

She comes in later tho and finally gets caught up for the first time in forever MAN aidairo must hate her😭

But also

We find out mitsuba and kou are going there TOO so for the first time i think ever we have the whole gang in one spot 🤥 alot of firsts this chapter smh

ALSO an honorable mention to this i saved best for last

Sir stay away from my children

ok but fr i have no fucking clue what to say ab this cus this is either ‘teehee im right ur wrong!!~~♡’ type shit which he does alot, or genuinely like what we all think it is, which considering outside context may, in fact make it make sense trust let me explain

teru says shit like this ALL THE TIME its kind of his ACTUAL personality aside from his fake shit, like the way he is only around akane and sometimes kou (at least what we’re shown) so you’d think he’s used to this, but his initial reaction is more of a ‘um. what.’

ALSO— backround MATTERS, the backround in this one, is pure black, which is only shown during stuff LIKE THIS (important stuff) example:

Black background either means its dark, or its something important, something meant to be remembered, or something like that (probably)

and that panel had a BLACK BACKROUND

Why is this important you may be asking, it has a black backround— so it must be, right? If this was a silly little ‘teehee you can’t do this im better than youuu!!!~~♡’ then it probably wouldnt even have a half panel it’d be another one of the mini panels, but it not only had a whole panel for just this, a black background ;blocking LITERALLY EVERYTHING OUT ASIDE FROM THIS AND WHAT HE’S SAID, but also, pay attention the contents of what he said.

(a different translation, this one is easier to read)

‘you are not in any position to oppose me, are you, aoi? ♡’ could mean, A LOT OF THINGS so i’ll put them in a bulletin here because any of them make for an interesting path we may be taking on ‘this’ reality😭😓

Number 1: he could be impliying, and or reminding akane, that he’s still engaged to aoi, and that if akane still thinks they shouldnt change this reality, he should reconsider, CONSIDERING he is engaged to aoi, as aforementioned. (Most likely this one)

Number 2: the power dynamic, yes akane is a school mystery with the ability to control time itself but also, teru is an exorcist, a skilled one at that— and could probably easily overpower akane in a 1v1 (lowk hyped to see this happen pls let them fight) teru may be poking fun, or reminding akane, that teru is in fact powerful, more than he seems to keep fresh on his mind — them having SO MUCH to do

Number 3: maybe instead he just felt like teasing akane and i wasted time+space for nothing and was looking way too into it (this is supposed to be the terukane option😪)

Never once has he used this before??? Obviously you cant talk in symbols but the heart kind of implies the user of this symbol is talking in a playful/slightly flirtatious tone, hence, the reaction:

Okay okay point is i think teru is still madly in love with him

WAAAHHHH just look at him pooks who else does he do this with smhh 😓 NO ONE

which i think may be PARTIALLY true but also not entirely because mayb im just a tweaker

Me when i when i ehen you whrn you when

This may make no sense at all, or alot of sense man idk its 3:12am i go back to school in like 2 weeks i am not ready for sophomore year gn

terukane will be real one day trust🤍🤍

[vigilskeep]

Does Blackwall being a Shem/Human affect Nenia's feelings of betreyal? Like, as an example, thinking "What did I expect, falling for a human?" kind of feelings or something.

for sure, blames herself for giving that trust. it did not help having so recently done sidequests with judgements like the mayor of crestwood and mistress poulin from emprise du lion, where nennaia’s frustrations have been mounting with the cowardice and the deceit of these shemlen hiding their crimes and pretending it was for the greater good of the people they were supposed to serve. blackwall’s case is different—for one he alone admitted to his actions and took responsibility, rather than being “found out”, and for another he doesn’t pretend his crime was justifiable—but it’s not a helpful context. i also did a quest inbetween blackwall leaving and the val royeaux execution which involved finding several dalish murdered, so the mood dealing with it all is not ideal

it’s also worth mentioning that nennaia takes seriously her responsibility to bear mythal’s vallaslin. she is supposed to be an arbiter of law, a wellspring of justice. what’s left of her if this time she abandons that duty for sentiment? and there’s other questions like, if he can’t be forgiven for things he’s done can she ever be forgiven for things she’s done? she saw another truth of him when his future self sacrificed his life during in hushed whispers; does that version of him, and the version she’s come to know, not also matter? what’s the actual value of a more punitive response and what real purpose does it serve? if she abandons her duty now what does it say about the fact that she didn’t abandon her duty for her family’s sake in her backstory? but then again after that choice broke her heart and many others, how could she choose duty again now except simply to punish herself? shouldn’t she instead learn and change, and give the man she loves the opportunity to do the same? etc etc. lots of thinking and overthinking in her little head rn

[secret-subject]

Why are we so convinced ADHD (and other neurodivergent people) can't be hypnotized?

This is something I've thought about a lot lately. So a little context of why:

So I've been doing hypnosis for about 12 years now. Back when I was 18 I joined the irc chat on WMM and started being hypnotized pretty much daily. I did files and I had dominants to play with and that continued for a long time. By the time I was in my mid 20's I was extremely easy, in fact too easy. The culture back then also wasn't the greatest for me and my subject agency was pretty mid (gotta love hindsight) but again, I was known for having a very good and very squishy brain. In 2022, my Mum was diagnosed with ASD but also got a surprise ADHD diagnosis. Now, we are very similar so she insisted I get tested and low and behold I have ADHD, inattentive subtype.

This blew my mind because for the longest time I had the clear signs of undiagnosed ADHD but a lot of these things were assumed came from my history of doing a buttload of conditioning files, my health conditions and just being "like that". By this stage I had stopped being hypnotized myself and focused on my role as a dominant and content creator because that for me was something I just had to focus on. My switching stopped and I didn't go under for about three years.

So now, I took a hiatus to go and try something else and when I came back I was stressed and got back into testing out files again. (Also super lucky in this time some friends of mine became hypnosis creators so that was a great way to dabble with people I can trust). My first few experiences were like getting on a bike after years of not riding. It was a little wobbly but soon with practice I was right back where I left off and now even better than that. I think right now I'm getting some of the literal deepest trance experiences ever. It's hard to describe but all I'll say is "oooof".

So why is this backstory important?

Because this is one very clear narrative of a person who had undiagnosed ADHD and found hypnosis very achievable with time, practice and a buttload of conditioning with the right people. Because my ADHD was not a factor until now, I never got told, "you can't be hypnotized" this self fulfilling proficy that makes people feel like this isn't for them which for me seeing this narrative in online spaces breaks my heart for the people who see this and feel that is their label and that is what sticks.

I think it's not our place to say who can or cannot be hypnotized as a general rule because there are not general rules in hypnosis. You can't look at someone and assess them based on factors you don't know or understand. In this world there are very few people who straight up cannot be hypnotized at all to some degree (far less then even the research people keep quoting says at this point) and this is why I feel so strongly that we need to instead of trying to label entire groups as "not good for play" to instead change the narrative to "let's see what works for more people" because brains are different and hypnosis can not be a one size fits all approach. It's too subjective for that.

This is also the biggest reason I made the ADHD hypnosis kink audio recently. I used my knowledge of hypnosis and some research on presentations of ADHD in combination to make something I felt was quite special. Maybe in the future this is something I can work on again because I want all the ADHDers with a hypnosis kink to be able to harness that hyperfocus and those skills we have to make kinky fun times extra fun.

So like, is it time we gave up generalizations on people like this? I know I'm ready to not hear my brain judged before you've even seen what it can do.

[antimony-medusa]

"There's just something about that guy that means I don't trust him"

Okay so, Phil has got the wrong read of Sunny. I'm gonna start off with that. He thinks they're a confident unconcerned material girl who is comfortable in the fact that their dad loves them, and potentially he thinks that they're a bit older than they are? Whereas people who have been able to see her one-on-one with Tubbo know that she's quite a bit more shy and insecure and young than she puts on! He's been taken in by the facade they're putting on, and I think that's part of why he is making jokes and comments that don't hit well. To understate how yesterday went. I think he botched the interaction with Sunny in the musuem and I hope someone tells him that, so he can apologize and fix that. And to be clear, as a phil viewer, this does interesting character work with Sunny as a sensitive child and I'm in favour of Sunnymin pursuing this line of lore. I'm staring with my little cube guy watching googles looking for the result when Phil realizes he scared a child, with great interest.

Because when you look at the musum one in context, my read is that was phil pivoting badly from an out of lore discussion into "oh hey I can explain something to sunny, who is confident and centred and knows her dad adores her" and then jokingly tried to explain the tallulah experience, and then we know from Sunny signs later that that went over like a ton of bricks. Mistake. However, when we're discussing it, I think it's fair to not have that understanding of the lore though, and to take a more pointed, villainous read of the lore! Go for it with discussing phil as cold and brusque to people who aren't his family, discuss Sunny feeling all alone in the musuem, fill your boots.

But guys, when you're discussing this as meta, I am seeing a lot of tags that are really really eager to paint Phil entirely and unequivocally as a villain and specifically cruel to children and cruel within the family, and there's an element to that that concerns me.

Phil, the cc, the guy, acts working class. He has an accent from a particular part of england that is traditionally working class, but he also has storytelling cadences and humour styles and attitudes towards challenges that are very familiar if you are from a working class or lower income community. I'm from an entirely different continuent, but the area I'm from is the sort of area that people make jokes about, and the whole way Phil acts as a CC is very familiar to me. (Note: even when he's talking about travel or stuff, he still has the "worked retail for a decade" mentality and pays attention to the staff and stuff and what they're doing, check out the brazil storytelling vod.)

And Phil's cubito, when he's not deliberately making a character like osmp crowfather, tends to have the mannerisms of someone who is working class. Even if you're not from a lower income area, I think most people can clock this, subconciously if nothing else. He swears a lot! He banters and roasts his friends and family but would absolutely do anything for them. He's informal in a very specific way.

Which is why when people pivot immediately into "why is he threatening and bullying children again" and "his wicked is showing", and "oh he's a evil stepfather/cruel stepmother" and "can we kill the child abusers now" I go Oh No.

Working class mannerisms are already stereotyped as especially prone to domestic abuse, among other ills. If you are going "oh something about him just always seemed like he would be cruel to children" maybe— push back on that one?

In the same way that during the election I was going "that may not be the play" about americans who didn't know what it was but something about Forever was just so angry and agressive (and they were talking from a perspective that viewed forever as a person of colour, regardless of how he's perceived at home), you might be talking from a perspective that encourages you to interpret Phil's behaviour with children as especially suspect. Potentially. Consider it.

And again, Phil biffed it in the musuem. That was a misstep that had me (autistic) going "oh no I see how you got there but you can all but see the sims negative relationship marker thing pop up". But I'd ask you at least to consider that it wasn't intentional cruelty, and that people can make social missteps before you jump immediately to interpreting their actions in the worst light possible.

[dootznbootz]

As someone who is also really uncomfortable with the Zeus/Odysseus art trend, I completely understand where your coming from!

People’s treatment of Odysseus’s assaults in general makes me really upset. Just the other day I saw a comment on a post saying that “Odysseus wasn’t loyal to his wife yet expects her to be loyal to him” and not once in the replies did I see someone mention that he was literally assaulted. It’s absolutely gross and makes me hesitant to go deeper into the fandom.

I remember being so frustrated when the snippets of “There are Other Ways” came out because so many people were making Hamilton jokes and talking about how he always talks about his wife yet cheated. When in the song it was so clear he was being coerced which is yknow, not a form of consent. I couldn’t even listen to it because it made me so uncomfortable, and even now with the full version out the fandoms reaction to it overall have soured me to it. Which sucks, because I do think it’s a great song.

Also I don’t even think Epic completely erases Calypso’s assault? At least, I think it’s left ambiguous enough during the time jump that people can come to their own conclusions. Specifically when Calypso says “Soon into bed we’ll climb and spend our time” just really gives me the impression that something else happened.

I suppose in the snippets we’ve seen of “I’m Not Sorry For Loving You” it seems like Odysseus and Calypso are on slightly friendlier terms, but I don’t think that negates the fact she could’ve assaulted him. And I’ve always took that song as pretty manipulative on Calypso’s side, with Odysseus more so trying to placate her. But that’s going into theory territory.

And even if he isn’t SA’d in Epic it’s pretty clear he doesn’t want to be there!! Same with Homer’s Odyssey. It’s so infuriating to see the cheating narrative be so widely spread when that is just not what happened.

Anyway’s sorry for the long rant, but I wanted to say that it’s nice to see you take Odysseus’s SA seriously. It’s not something the fandom does enough.

It's okay for the long rant. Sorry I took a bit to get to it but I wanted some "soft chatters" for a bit before I tackled this one :)

"Just the other day I saw a comment on a post saying that “Odysseus wasn’t loyal to his wife yet expects her to be loyal to him” and not once in the replies did I see someone mention that he was literally assaulted. It’s absolutely gross and makes me hesitant to go deeper into the fandom."

I completely understand you with this stuff. ;~; I used to go through Odyssey tags often as I LOVE possibly finding new people to follow and fun things but too many times I would see shit that pissed me off. ;~; I've honestly kind of just stuck to my mutuals that I trust tbh. And honestly, there's soooo much shit of people just straight up not understanding the context/culture/meaning/etc. of the Epics and just taking it at face value and not understanding the meanings. :/ I'm no expert, but I also have analyzed and researched quite a bit on my own to try and get the full picture. I think in order to truly enjoy the Odyssey, you need to just... really soak shit in, you know?

When Calypso, that lovely goddess,  tried                           to keep me with her in her hollow cave, longing for me to become her husband,                                  or when, in the same way, the cunning witch Aeaean Circe held me in her home filled with a keen desire I’d marry her, they never won the heart here in my chest.

(Book 9, Johnston)

Odysseus tells this to the Phaecians. They are strangers that he will likely never see again and who are isolationists. Therefore his story that he told probably won't be "spread" to others so he can probably say whatever. So he doesn't have to worry about "Penelope hearing a different story than the one he told to her" if people wanna argue about how "Oh well, he didn't tell Penelope about the 'affairs'"(He tells her everything as well btw.)

He could literally say "Oh yeah, I had the time of my life!" but he doesn't because that's not true. Odysseus has no listed concubines, I just literally don't see him as the type of guy who's really into that.

And while yes, he would be devastated if she didn't "stay loyal", he does sound like he'd be understanding. He asks his mother in the Underworld if Penelope had gotten remarried to "the finest of Achaeans". And we all know of Odysseus' words of "when Telemachus has a beard, feel free to remarry". Even when first "rejected" by Penelope in that she didn't hug him when he sat across from her, he was incredibly hurt but asked for a separate bed. He literally could have had it where Penelope takes a different bed and he takes their luxurious/fancy one because he has the rest of the household on his side.

But he DOESN'T!

Because he adores her for fuck's sake!

Funny enough? I have the weird reaction of like, weirdly searching out "Good" animatics as it was a weird reassurance of "yes, people see that it's wrong." as while holy fuck. so many stupid, awful jokes about "Say No to This" in the comments (I have learned to just stay the fuck away from youtube comments on Odysseus shit. :') ) but like, seeing and HEARING how yes, this was fucked, was weirdly really nice for me. yeah, it took a lot of digging but there's a few "There Are Other Ways" that I love. Literally, both are unfinished wips and they're still my favorites. If you can, please give these two a watch and some love for the creator.

This was back before we heard the full song and it's still very good. How he's on guard until she "magics" him and the colors change. After that he kind of moves like a "puppet" but he's still resisting as best he can.

This one is literally still sketches but it's my absolute favorite. Oh my word. The body language, PENELOPE FLASHBACKS!!! Showing cute bits of Penelope's character and how awful this is for him. (Penelope is so cute. She puffs up her cheeks to make him laugh!) How he really is scared that he'll have to go through with this in order to save his friends until all his past trauma floods back and he just can't. It's lovely.

And yeah Idk how to feel about "I'm Not Sorry For Loving You" :/ I don't know how it'll be yet, maybe there's something in another song that shows Odysseus' real feelings or whatever.

And with just the whole cheating thing, yeah, it's really upsetting to call what is blatant assault "cheating". As wild as it sounds, Odysseus' story has been more relatable for me than any other stories like this, even modern ones. I've spoken a bit about it before but yeh, victim blaming at its finest. I find him and his story and his love for Penelope slkdfj very relatable. It's honestly really nice to write about in a sense..

(I'm pasting this from an old post of mine but yeh)

I have never had a story that felt like how it actually FEELS. The "aftermath" and "regaining life". It's hopeful and feels really good. It's been years since "everything" but it just felt nice to see "Everybody has the chance to get better." Even Nestor, Helen, and Menelaus, while still dealing with their traumas, are doing a lot better now. And after literal hell, Odysseus got to be with his family and loved ones again. He can start living again. It's why I'm just...idk passionate about this? I'm not a murderer or a war veteran but I see myself in him. Hopefully, y'all see me as nicer though!😂(plus, let's be honest, the Odyssey is romantic af and OdyPen is right up my alley as well >:D )

I really hate the whole "he's a guy so therefore ____" whether it's used as a "Boys will be boys. they can't help themselves" usually aimed at female victims or a "Men always want sex. they cannot be victims.". It's fucked up and used against ALL of us. :( Doesn't matter if it was history. People, no matter the era, should never be put through "Are you Victim™ enough?". He is one.

Idk the Odyssey means a lot to me. I hope it's okay I take some liberties with my fanfics as it's nice healing through him :D I AM kind of using my own experiences and ideas and it feels nice. I don't think Homer necessarily meant for this but eh, anything that helps is good :D He's a war criminal that I relate to.

[oldmanffucker]

my first instinct upon seeing this was to get angry and want to hit this person with hammers, but actually I want to talk about this.

this post, and I didn't even want to click in the read the rest bc it made me to sad to see, is saying that Wilson and Amber only dated for a maximum of three months, so should he really be this torn up about her loss?

So, as a grief support specialist and house fan, let's talk about it.

First and foremost, it's the depth, not the length, of a relationship that matters. Quality over quantity, all of that. Of course. But also, if we look at Amber and Wilson's relationship itself, this is kind of the first time Wilson is in a relationship that feels really good to him. Amber doesn't just want Wilson bc she needs him and needs to be put first by him, she wants him to take care of himself too. He's being challenged for the first time (in a romantic context) (canonically) to not put himself on the back burner for everyone else, but to think about what Wilson wants. House, of course, does this too, but in different ways. Which is also to say that Amber is a revelation for him because she is like House--House who is his longest and arguably only real friend, the person he trusts the most, is most able to be himself around. And now he's found this person who he can feel all that in a romantic and sexual context too.

Which is all to say that this relationship wasn't like any other three month fling he had, this one had a depth to it from the very beginning that was really important and profound to Wilson, and was changing some parts of himself in a way that was really kind of life altering, even as it was also pretty subtle in many ways to the casual viewer.

This, plus the fact that her death itself was really sudden, very traumatic, and prolonged (a couple days and many really traumatic failed attempts to save her life, including his best friend risking his life for her), really adds up to someone being profoundly affected by this loss.

But beyond this, Wilson did not only experience the loss of Amber with her death. There are losses we grieve beyond simply dying. The whole experience before finding out she was even missing and hurt, of seeing House without memory, of even for a little while thinking they may have had an affair, of watching House kill himself (literally) to bring back his memories - this portion of the situation alone is an experience of a loss of safety. He's realizing that life is random, and terrifying in a whole new way than he may have known it before. His best friend was in a bus accident. Life is random and he could have died. There is no guaranteed safety. His best friend who knows everything suddenly knows nothing. A loss of the status quo, of what he's assumed is the way things are. he's watching his best friend go to extreme lengths in order to capture his memories. he's watching his best friend fucking die on a bus floor as he tries to revive him with his boss. Loss of control, loss of the norm, loss of the future they could have had if none of this happened.

THEN.!! He's made aware that Amber was involved in all of this. And we don't know where she is or how she's doing. He's now been introduced to ambiguous loss (which he has experienced at great length with his brother who went missing, and is now experiencing again). Now they have to find Amber. Okay and now they've found her and she's in a coma and really on the brink of death. And this too is an ambiguous loss of another variety. He's experiencing both sides of ambiguous loss about Amber back to back (1. Physical absence and psychological presence (ex. someone missing/estranged) 2. Physical presence and psychological absence (ex. parent w dementia, someone in a coma))

He then has to skip over the grieving part and jump into problem solving and trying to keep her alive. and then his boy best friend has to risk his life for amber and wilson and almost die. And then Wilson has to realize that now, his kind of technically-alive-but-not girlfriend, he has to let her go. And she's woken up and he has mere moments to say his goodbyes and I love you's.

And ALL OF THAT is just the loss itself.

Then he is "grieving" or "mourning" in the way that is generally understood by the average person. If you ask the average person (esp in the US) what grief is, they'd usually point to this--after someone dies when you're sad--and none of the many paragraphs of grief and loss grappling I wrote about just before that.

The average bereavement leave is 3 days. Grief will invariably last more than three days. The amount of time we see Wilson grieving is frankly, really fucking regular. Even for a death less fraught and traumatic (subjectively) than this one.

Besides all of this, there are a number of different grief styles, and I think that Wilson's grief style is that of the Intuitive, or Heart, Griever (isn't that just perfect? I wonder if the writers knew that when they named the episode Wilson's Heart...).

This type of griever is more overtly emotional than the Intellectual, or Head, Griever (the other 2 styles are the Blended, or Head & Heart Griever, and the Dissonant, or Head vs Heart Griever). But is again, really common! Perhaps the asker of this original Reddit question is a head griever, or a dissonant griever, or perhaps even someone who has never yet had to grieve, and has only been fed the myths about grief, and they're trying to make sense of such a large grief.

There is no right way to grieve, there is no correct length of time that that grieving should last. There's no correct amount of time you are allowed to know someone before you grieve their death or pain. The way you grieve is the way you need to grieve, you simply have to try to honor it.

(I don't have a reddit so I can't respond to this directly, but feel free to link this in the responses to the post itself if you feel so inclined)

[stormikitty]

Vaggie's Past

I've seen tons of fics and tumblr posts with 2 different ideas about Vaggie's past. 1 being that she had a human life before she became an exorcist angel, and the other being that she grew up in heaven and was raised by Adam and Lute and the other exorcists. Idk which 1 I like better, but I have headcanons for both. And I've sort of imagined conversations for how the other characters would find out?

1:Vaggie had a human life:

Charlie: Hey Vaggie? Are you heavenborn, or a human soul?

Vaggie: it's complicated? When a human soul becomes an exorcist, the first part of their training involves magic induced amnesia. They're forced to forget everything about their lives including their own name, and they're given a new 1. I know I was a human at some point, but I don't remember anything. Some things stick, like languages, and some strong feelings about certain things even if there's a lack of context for it, but I don't remember who I was or any of the people I might've known. Every earthborn exorcist has maybe 1 vivid memory from their life, but it never actually tells them anything about who they used to be or who they know. I think that's to make it easier to erase any individuality more quickly and make us forget if any of our morals didn't originally align with what exorcists do. Turns us into perfect soldiers quicker. If I remembered my real name, I probably wouldn't be going by the 1 that Adam gave me. He literally named me after a vagina.

Chalie: *hugging Vaggie*

Anyone else who heard this: ...

2: Heavenborn Vaggie:

Vaggie: I was never a child.

Angel Dust: What did you just come into existence fully grown or something?

Vaggie: No, I still had to grow and develop like anyone else would.

Husk: Then you were a child.

Vaggie: I was raised to be the perfect soldier since the moment I was born. A soldier isn't allowed to be a child.

Everyone: WHAT?!

Charlie: Why didn't your parents protect your from that?

Vaggie: A lot of exorcist angels are born from flowers instead of other angels. I was 1 of them. I was raised by exorcists and grew up with exorcists.

Alastor or Angel Dust: You were born from a flower? Like Thumbilina?

Husk: They took away your childhood?!

Vaggie: Yeah. I had to be a grow up almost as soon as I could start walking and talking.

Nifty: What was it like being raised by exorcists? Other than the fact that you weren't allowed to be a kid?

Vaggie: I was surrounded by high standards and expectations I had to meet and not allowed to have much if any individuality. Exorcists aren't even given names until after their 1st extermination. They have numbers until then. Also, you know how exorcists have those black stipes on their wings? Those don't appear until their 1st extermination either. Also I was taught to value loyalty and strength more than anything else. Loyalty goes above strength, but not by much. And the second I showed even the slightest hesitation to follow an order, I was cast out of heaven in probably 1 of the most brutal and painful ways possible by 1 of the people I trusted the most. So there's that.

Everyone: *ready to throw hands with some exorcists again*

Charlie: *crying*

Nifty: ... Wanna build a pillow fort and watch cartoons?

Edit: I reread the post and realized it said "gown up" instead of "grow up", so I fixed it. I would appreciate if people pointed things like this out to me in the future.

[longing-for-rain]

what do you think of the argument some people make that goes along the lines of "zuko was acting entitled towards kataras forgiveness and the betrayal at the catacombs was just a second thought to him"? According to them, zuko failed to understand that kataras anger at him was a direct consequence of his previous decisions and instead blames it on her resentment against the fire nation (the whole "i think she sees me as her mother's murderer" spiel). They also claim that he's a raging misogynist bc of the way he treated katara in the pirate episode, that he didnt remember her name when asking sokka abt the southern raiders, taunting her in the northern tribe by saying she is a big girl now that she's learned some new tricks, referring to the kyoshi warriors as a "bunch of little girls", yelling at mai and acting possessively, mocking ty lee... amidst many other things, including the toxic masculinity accusations ofc. They also condemn his selfishness in helping katara find some semblance of closure. I think a great part of this is just biased hate, but i just wanted to know your opinion. It's okay if you don't want to answer though!

Oh no of course, I think it’s definitely biased hate, because these kinds of superficial “criticisms” only seem to come up in response to people shipping Zuko with the incorrect character. I’ve seen the same people who make these arguments praise Zuko, say they love him, say his redemption is inspiring, etc. in other contexts.

There is a lot to unpack here, but I’ll touch on all these points because I find them interesting. Also, in regards to generally stupid anti Zuko takes from whiny anti shippers, a lot of those came up here which I addressed in detail.

Now, about these particular arguments.

1) Zuko wanted Katara’s forgiveness out of selfishness

Firstly, I never understood this take because in context…Zuko already has what he set out to get when he left the Fire Nation at the beginning of The Southern Raiders. Actually, let’s take a step back here: leaving the Fire Nation. Did these people collectively forget that? Zuko could have stayed in his life of luxury, watched the world burn, and inherited the title of Emperor from his father. But instead, he committed treason, risking his life in the process, because he knew in his heart it was the right thing to do. This is the character you’re trying to smear as a selfish monster?

Anyways.

The Southern Raiders. The scene which kicks off the conflict with Katara is when the group is sitting around the fire, praising Zuko for his heroism and saving them from Azula. He humbly admits he doesn’t feel he deserves the praise, to which Katara agrees and storms off. But the important piece of context here is that everyone else—including Sokka, Katara’s own brother—seems to be on Zuko’s side. If Zuko was purely selfish, he wouldn’t have cared what Katara thought of him. He could have laughed along with Sokka and agreed that Katara was just being dramatic. But that isn’t what happened.

Zuko doesn’t look angry or vindictive here; he looks hurt. He cares what Katara thinks of him; he later says those words verbatim to Sokka.

I also think the fact that Zuko made a special effort to reach out to Katara above the other characters shows that he recognizes that the catacombs incident was much more personal for Katara. Zuko even acknowledges this himself.

Zuko: Katara mentioned it before when we were imprisoned together in Ba Sing Se, and again just now when she was yelling at me. I think somehow she's connected her anger at that to her anger at me.

Zuko remembers their conversation very well. Katara’s anger towards him was different than the others because she felt betrayed on a more personal level. She shared something deeply personal with Zuko and connected with him, and felt deceived when he betrayed her.

In Katara’s mind, Zuko talking about his mother was fake. She tells herself it was just him lying to her and manipulating her to gain her trust, because that’s easier than the idea that he didn’t care. I believe this is why Zuko finds it so important to make it up to her…and specifically why her mother was involved. Obviously Zuko was wrong to side with Azula. But he wasn’t being manipulative or uncaring. He was manipulated himself by Azula, the person who knows how to control him better than anyone else.

So, in this episode, Zuko is not setting out to prove that he’s “good” (he’s already done this); he’s setting out to show Katara that he does respect her trauma, he does understand and respect the weight of what she told him about her mother. Zuko can tell she’s deeply hurt and that he’s part of that hurt. That’s why he wants to demonstrate that his care for her was and is genuine. He never lied to her. And that right there is the opposite of selfishness. This is once again Zuko acknowledging his own faults and taking responsibility for fixing them. He doesn’t even seem to demand or expect forgiveness in the end.

Look at his face. He’s surprised. He did not expect this gesture, although he graciously accepts it.

If Zuko was this selfish, entitled monster people want him to be, he wouldn’t react this way. He wouldn’t even care about any of the points I just went through.

If you honestly believe that Zuko’s motivation was selfish and he was just manipulating Katara’s feelings this whole time, you fundamentally missed the point of one of the show’s most critically acclaimed episodes.

2) Zuko didn’t know Katara’s name (?)

This one is just stupid. I’m sorry. I didn’t know people actually used this argument because it originated as a joke post and you should be embarrassed if you genuinely think this is canon. It comes from the scene in The Southern Raiders where Zuko says “your sister” rather than “Katara” when asking Sokka about their mother.

There is absolutely nothing about this scene indicating that Zuko doesn’t know Katara’s name. The word choice is most likely to emphasize the sibling relationship between Katara and Sokka to explain both to Sokka and to the audience why Zuko sought him out specifically.

And think about it. Zuko has been hanging around 24/7 with them for probably two weeks at this point. There is no way he didn’t catch Katara’s name, if he didn’t already know it. And given how diligent he was in his Avatar hunting days, he most likely did already know it.

3) The pirate episode

Okay I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again…I’m so tired of people projecting some weird, creepy sexual undertones onto this episode. There was absolutely nothing abusive or misogynistic about the character interactions here. It was a very standard (and honestly a bit cheesy) example of a cartoon villain and hero interaction. The fact that you see a female character in any kind of distressed situation and immediately project sexual implications onto it is the real misogyny here. I never see people complain about similar scenes involving male characters:

I could dig up even more examples but can you see my point? The argument that there was any abuse or sexual misconduct on Zuko’s part this episode is absolutely misogyny—but it’s audience misogyny; not Zuko’s. The canon scene would have gone exactly the same way if Katara was male. The only difference would be much fewer disgusting sexual over-analyzations of it by fans.

4) “Little girls”

For this one, an important piece of context to keep in mind is that this script was written in 2005 by a creative staff of mostly men. So we need to ask the question, is this meant to reflect misogyny on Zuko’s part, it is it the bias of the writers?

Another prime example of this is Iroh’s interactions with Jun. Obviously, that was severely creepy behavior and absolutely misogynistic. However, most fans (including myself) tend to overlook that. Why? Because it’s jarringly inconsistent with the rest of Iroh’s character and his purpose within the narrative. In context, it’s pretty obviously something the writers thought was “funny” at the time but aged like rotten milk.

Also, in regards to sexist language during fights, consider all the stupid lines like…

Azula: Who are you? The Avatar’s fan girls?

Ty Lee: You are not prettier than we are.

…in the Kyoshi Warriors vs. Dangerous Ladies fight. Seems like this is just a writer bias issue, personally. When have men ever been normal about teenage girls? Right—never.

I get this is a slippery slope, so my approach is to compare Zuko’s lines like this to everything else we know about Zuko and ask the question: is there anything about Zuko’s character that indicates he views women as inherently inferior or lesser?

Well, no.

You know what is a trend for Zuko? He focuses on putting down his opponents by acting like they’re younger and weaker than him. His first reaction to Aang is “you’re just a child.” This is consistent with his attitude towards Katara and the Kyoshi Warriors. Zuko canonically treats male and female opponents no differently. He fights and moves on. No creepiness, nothing like Iroh and Jun, etc. If they were male, it wouldn’t have gone differently. That’s why I think it’s a reach to say these comments by themselves indicate a misogynistic attitude.

Besides, why would Zuko see women as weaker and lesser when this is who he grew up with?

That’s another thing. For as much anger and resentment Zuko harbors for Azula on the basis that she’s Ozai’s favorite and born lucky—not one comment is made about her sex. If Azula was male, nothing would inherently change about this dynamic. So yeah, I’m not really buying this whole “Zuko is a misogynistic incel” narrative. If you’ve ever dealt with incels in any capacity, you know they’d absolutely jump at the opportunity to whine that their (female) sister is so much more lucky and privileged and loved compared to them.

5) Zuko, Mai, and The Beach

I’m working on a longer analysis of this but to summarize…people on both sides blow this issue way out of proportion. Mai wasn’t abusive. Zuko wasn’t abusive. They were a pretty standard angsty teenage couple having angsty teenage drama. Zuko called Mai a big blah and shoved some dude into a vase. Mai told him he was out of control. That’s literally such a minor issue, that they resolved by the end of the episode.

But to dig into this more, consider the point this is in Zuko’s story. He’s at rock bottom. The premise of the entire episode is to show how abnormal and out of place Zuko feels among people who should be his peers. His issues with Ruon-Jian aren’t even about Mai to start. Zuko was beefing with this dude before the party even started, remember?

Why is Zuko mad at him? Because he’s making Zuko feel freakish. He’s making Zuko feel like he once again is an outcast, and Zuko hates that. He’s insecure. That’s…the point of the episode.

I’m not going to excuse his tantrum over Ruon-Jian talking to Mai, because that was toxic, but consider the context. Zuko isn’t some crazy possessive freak. In his mind, this is just icing on the cake, another example of why he’s an antisocial freak compared to other Fire Nation teens and he hates how it makes him feel.

But interestingly enough, I do think Mai and Zuko’s interactions in that scene give some insight into their dynamic and Zuko’s character—believe it or not, in a positive way. Just consider the context and body language.

I’m just stating facts here. Zuko is more physically threatening than Mai. He’s bigger, stronger, male, and he’s a firebender while she isn’t a bender. And yet, Mai has absolutely no trouble getting in his business to tell him off. Why? You can argue that it’s just because she thinks she could knife him—but we’ve seen how she reacts to an actual physical threat (Azula) and it isn’t like this at all. Mai is confident because she knows Zuko wouldn’t physically harm her. He’s angry, but he never once uses his figure to physically intimidate her. He clearly doesn’t make a habit of this behavior either judging from Mai’s reaction. Also think about the fact that the only physical altercation here is between Zuko and another man. The primary target of his anger isn’t the woman he’s allegedly acting possessive over unlike another character in the Ember Island Players and several comics…

Not to mention the way they reconcile around the fire. Zuko’s behavior doesn’t at all reflect an angry, entitled misogynist who thinks he owns his girlfriend. Quite the opposite. He clearly holds a lot of love and respect for her. It’s just that…this episode is literally displaying Zuko at his most tortured, his most self-hating, his most insecure as he realizes he no longer has a place in the home he’d desperately been chasing for years after being brutally mutilated and banished. With that in mind, I think he actually handled himself very well.

The thing about Zuko is that he takes accountability for his wrongs and works to improve himself. He has flaws and even when they’re understandable, he still takes responsibility for fixing them. That’s the trait of his that sets him apart from…certain other characters.

6) Zuko being rude to Ty Lee

Again, see above. Yes, Zuko was mean to her. But again, this is Zuko at rock bottom. This is Zuko venting his frustration about nobody being able to understand what he’s gone through and how isolated and freakish he feels. None of them had their faces burnt off in front of an audience. None of them were banished and forced to live as refugees. Zuko blew up at Ty Lee in the first place after she made a comment about bad skin.

Like yes, he’s rude, but did you miss the point of that episode? If you think this has anything to do with misogyny you’re just delusional, sorry. That interaction had nothing to do with Ty Lee being female. It had to do with her (and every other character that episode) living a privileged lifestyle while Zuko is (literally, too) feeling the weight of the scars his trauma has left him with.

So in conclusion, yes, I really think these takes are all shallow and unfounded jabs at Zuko’s character that either don’t understand or outright ignore critical parts of his development and story. And considering I’m #canceled for my based misandry in many circles, it should say a lot that I’m defending a man of any kind ✌️

[greenqueenhightower]

hi again! and i’m sorry if i sounded rude i didn’t mean to!

yes i was talking about ep 9!

but if you say that it isn’t manipulation why then rhaenyra and criston’s relationship is considered that? especially when they have sex? is a bit hypocritical no? because if it is then alicent has MUCH more power play in their situation:

1. he is her employee

2. she is THE QUEEN

so it still counts as manipulation simply because she knows what to do with her power in this scenario and she KNOWS he would do anything because he is dutiful but at the same time he will be the first to not listen to her as many times is shown (when he kills the guy in the council out of the blue or when she ASKS for him to take lucerys eye which she never asked for violence but when she does he doesn’t do it).

but is just my opinion saying this from a female standpoint and seeing alicent more of a player in this situation because you say he is her only ally, but is the ally she can play and say what he needs to do. In a way otto and larys are a mean to an end, because what they show is rooted in violence and greed and we can’t forget that still is a misogynist world (her father is still a high born and well her father, larys is a high born and a type of “gossip girl” (didn’t find a better word for this sorry English is not my first language)).

Criston is a low born and a guard: manipulation is still a thing that happened here.

Hey again anon 💚

Dw, I didn’t find it rude, I was just confused a bit. Thanks for elaborating.

I think that the difference between Alicent and Criston’s relationship and Rhaenyra and Criston’s relationship is that they are based on totally different values. Rhaenyra x Criston are bound together by desire and momentary passion but lack devotion, duty, and sacrifice. Alicent x Criston don’t exercise upon desire and passion but have honor, duty, loyalty, devotion, etc. This means that both parties (Alicent & Criston) feel more self-realized and valued within the auspices of their relationship because it gives them exactly what they ask for.

To Criston, it gives him a purpose, namely his role as a sworn protector. Remember what he said to Rhaenyra? His relationship with her deprived him of his own feelings of self-worth: “I took an oath”/“I stained my white cloak”/“It’s all I have to my name.” To Alicent, that relationship gives stability and security unlike any other relationship she has with a male in power. She knows that Criston will not ask anything of her beyond what they have agreed upon. He won't betray her, neither will he use or manipulate her. And Criston feels the exact same trust towards Alicent because he feels that he will not be used again as he has been used by Rhaenyra. Therefore, their relationship dignifies both of them.

Going back to your comment about manipulation, the fact that Criston is free to affirm or deny what Alicent commands once again shows that his role as her sworn protector dignifies rather than restrains him. He knows who he is and where his duties lie, and he knows that he can refuse Alicent’s command to take Luke’s eye, exactly because his worth is not measured by how much and how well his actions will please her, which would be the case if he was constantly manipulated into doing something either out of fear, either out of personal gain, either out of loss of self-respect. As you very well point out, Criston can refuse Alicent because he knows very well that he can. That his life doesn't depend on whether he complies to her wishes or not. Because he knows that if he doesn't want to do something, she will not enforce it nor will she degrade him because of his choice. That's why Criston can have that much self-confidence in his position as Alicent’s sworn protector and member of the King’s Guard. At the same time, he further displays how he can act of his own free will, no matter how horrible it is (and don't get me wrong-Lord Beesbury’s killing was horrible!). But in the context of whether he is being manipulated or not, it once again shows that nope, Criston “is a man in his own right” to use the words of Emma D’Arcy, and he can make his own decisions. (Further commentary on his unlawful killings fuelled by bloodlust that explain his character you can find here.)

In my opinion, Criston can be himself in his service to Alicent just as much as Alicent can be herself and can trust him with everything (one of many examples is when she talks to him about Viserys’ prejudice towards Rhaenyra’s sons even though it is forbidden to do so because she trusts that he will keep her confidence). In short, Alicent and Criston’s relationship is built upon mutual trust and respect, and it doesn't quiver when Criston fails to meet Alicent’s demands. If Alicent really did manipulate Criston and the incident at Driftmark was the only time he failed to comply, then wouldn't she have been extremely angry? Wouldn't she have felt betrayed? But she didn't feel that, because she too KNEW that what she had asked him was way out of line, way beyond his agreed-upon duties and therefore violated their agreement.

And you can compare their relationship with a very clear cut example of manipulation as we see it in the show: think about how Criston behaves with Alicent versus how Alicent behaves with Larys. Is Criston petrified of her? Does he feel that his life might depend upon keeping her happy and satisfied? Does he think that she might twist his words and actions to harm him if she doesn't get what she wants? No.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Let's put the ship in partnership, shall we? - Extended version

Recipe to get this LONG-ASS meta-post: Be a Sydcarmy truther. Be impartial. Be open-minded. Be patient. Be super thorough with the embedded links 🔗, which are all pieces of this puzzle I've been putting together here and working on for months. There's a reason why this version is EXTENDED.

Bon apetite!

I don’t think I’m making myself clear enough when I say, when I pray, when I demand, that Syd stands by Donna Carmy at 🔗this, his darkest time, not to “fix” him, because obviously, OBVIOUSLY!!! that’s not her responsibility, but because he will lose the will and the strength to fix himself if she leaves him quits. All he does, right and wrong, he does it for her at this point, in his own twisted way. She's his driving force at this given moment in time. Full stop.

And even when he's the only one who can fix himself, it should be even more obvious to anyone with a pair of functioning eyes that he can't do that alone. There is no way on Earth. Yet right now, he is alone. Very. And he continues pushing everyone away from him, even Syd. But he only pushes her because he's convinced her presence is unwavering. And it actually is. He read her right. Usually, addicts hurt those they love the most, the most. And as they do that, they hurt themselves. Carmy is a textbook case. She will walk if she has to, he knows, but he trusts she won't, and at the same time, he's terrified she will if he fails her again. 🔗 Carmen Berzatto is capable of that kinda oxymoron. And more.

As Richie said: "he's locked in a prison of his own making". He read him to filth. LOL!

Syd is the only one who can change that. She's the twist 🔗 in his plot.

*(I've been saying this 🔗since S2, BTW in about 20 posts, tyvm).

Now, Syd is going through her own shitstorm and has a bunch of unsolved issues too, that she deals with or not, differently. She's a very layered character too who's caring but also as self-destructive as Carmen Berzatto. She is fearless but super insecure as well, she's not a workaholic but she's an overachiever and a perfectionist, she's a G woman with a huge heart, full of juxtapositions, just like him. And they chose each other, 🔗probably for all the reasons I just mentioned, knowing what they were getting into all along. They are adults. And they are brilliant. Not that emotionally intelligent, but brilliant nonetheless. He, in particular, has the emotional intelligence of a cactus and Syd is more advanced in that department, but not that much, she's Fort Knox, yet very kind. Precisely that duality of hers, combined with her incredible talent and hardworking nature is exactly what drives Carmy crazy and inspires him because she has what he feels he lost along the way: A HEART. Maybe deep down he even envys that about her... that wouldn't be a stretch. He's capable of that kinda oxymoron. And more.

Their "partnerSHIP":

They are not you, they are not me, they are just 2 people who need each other on an existential/evolutionary level to work on their issues and to grow as people through their partnership. They need to do the inner individual work but they won't do it unless they are together, that's the conflict/loophole of their love story.

The fact that this love story happens in a professional context is just that, context. The point is that it affects them on a personal level and that's exactly what they need because they need to make personal changes to grow as human beings, not as chefs. Although the professional growth, in their case, will be a by-product anyway, of course.

The Root of this conflict is: (we're getting soooo close, BEAR with me, chefs)

In Carmy’s world, deep inside, all that exists is Syd. He's not capable right now of any other level of reasoning. We could say he's incapacitated. Temporarily. She's his compass. This will pass. He will find himself again after this crisis. But not without her. The end of Carmen Berzatto.🔗

He doesn’t really care about the rest of the team, or about Claire for that matter except for the muddy guilt 🔗and frustration he feels surrounding their short-lived relationship, and he most definitely doesn’t care about himself in any way shape, or form other than being Syd’s star bearer. He has re-defined his entire identity based on the life goal of getting HER that bullshit star, out of love for her. She's HIS STAR🔗. That love that he feels for her is self-destructive (which he in some capacity knew all along before embarking on this journey with and for her) and yet he willingly and freely chose it, although he fought it at first. Well, quite frankly it's not like he put up too much of a fight...

Yes, he went about it all wrong BECAUSE he is an asshole:

He went all Donna about it and that rendered him Machiavellian, which means that according to him, his end of getting that star for Sydney, justified ANY means. He's a man of extremes, not of middle ground. Wanna take a walk in his hell? Be my guest → click here.🔗

BTW: That mind is actually Storer's because Carmy is based on him, as I mentioned here.🔗

Syd didn’t make him do that, of course, she inspired him. His love for her inspired him and still does. Yet he is not brave enough to admit it fully, he just sublimates it in this toxic way because it’s the only way he knows how to show it, for now. 🔗And of course, it’s not the right way. That’s exactly my point, he is wrong and if she walks he will NEVER get it right. She’s his muse.

Baby-sit vs Support - not the same thing

Does that mean that Syd has to sacrifice herself for him and his toxic ways of showing affection? Absofuckinglutely not! All Syd has to do is be there, set healthy boundaries because she’s the only one he listens to, and stand up for herself to show him, like only she knows how to, what’s right, and what's wrong. Sounds a lot like baby-sitting, or mothering, I know. But in this case it's called: SUPPORTING, because he's in need and they are partners. While he can be a piece of shit, as Syd is perfectly aware of, this is not a permanent state, it's a crisis and if it was the other way around, he would try to help her, and she would not let him. Because that's what they do, that's their dance. She knows how to ask for help, but prefers not to. He just doesn't know how to, and she's the only one who understands him well enough to provide it anyway and he accepts it from her, and from her only. If you don't get that nuance of their relationship, I'm sorry to break it to you, but with all due respect: you don't get THEM.

We are now even closer to the whole point I am trying to make -thanks for your patience-

Only if she chooses to prioritize their relationship over taking the risk of repeating this same pattern elsewhere with another chef, at another restaurant, for more money and the same role, no promotion, as I went over → HERE, 🔗she will be helping herself AND Carmy. "And" is the operative (and inclusive) word here. The other scenario requires the use of the EXCLUSIVE term "or" and that would be OC for her. And for me, TBH, but this is not about me.

We've reached the key point to really getting it YAY!→ The C word

There is a certain level of codependency here at this point of their relationship, yes. I hope you've noticed. It's inevitable. And that’s what happens in partnerships. Both parties depend on each other at times because they have to rely on each other, it’s not necessarily wrong or unhealthy although it can be, the line is very fine and it can easily be crossed. Yes. That’s another risk. And that is why real and healthy partnerships require adult people and compromise. The end result of a healthy codependent partnership is synergy. Very much like in a functional family dynamic. Compromise and family are intertwined concepts, not just when children are involved. This show is about love and found families.🔗

If the fine line is crossed and the codependency turns inadaptative/dysfunctional, then that desired synergy that allows all parties involved to mutually benefit each other, turns into chaos, where everyone hurts each other. War, which usually leads to the dissolution of the bond. They, and I mean The Bear's team, not just Syd and Carmy, are currently dancing on that line thanks to Carmy, but have NOT crossed it yet. Why? Because they fucked up on the Vibrant Collaboration part.🔗

The end of S3 left them standing on the verge of choosing to go for the synergy and mutual benefit (this will require compromise and hard work from both and everyone else around them) or for the dissolution of their bond (this will entail pain and loss for all parties involved and no one will gain anything but a lesson learned on what not to do, even if Syd leaves The Bear behind, and I don't just mean the restaurant, goes to work for Shapiro and wins a bullshit star). I hope we're clear on that. That latter scenario does not automatically guarantee Syd's happiness or success and it certainly implies Carmy's destruction. That’s why it’s really hard for me to wrap my mind around why some “Sydcarmy truthers” prefer that alternative. But again, this is NOT about me. This is about the fact that given the current circumstances, he will be a hopeless case without her. And she can guess it, that's ONE of the reasons why she can't make herself quit. The other is this one. 🔗(*check RB notes about the Joker). And I'm going easy on this one because I'm fully disregarding the assumption that Syd is down bad for Carmy but, just like him, she doesn't wanna feel that, she is in denial, and doesn't allow herself to feel it, not because she deems herself unworthy of his love in her current state unless she wins a Michelin star but because she's absolutely aware that Carmy Berzatto is a piece of shit. But yet she fucking loves him.

The catch:

But here’s the catch: whilst both choices are valid and should be respected if made freely, only one of them takes into account the current disparity of one of the parties involved at this time. In other words: The timing (that's why I don't oppose her going to Noma with Luca eventually or leaving The Bear to open her own dream spot, and I'm 100% sure that even though Carmy wouldn't be too crazy about it, he wouldn't oppose either, if she's happy. I actually expect the Sydluca/Noma storyline to unravel in S4 ). BUT right now Carmy is at his lowest. So it's just wrong, it's just not the right time. It can't happen on a show called THE BEAR, he has to fulfill his redemption arc and can't do it without her at this time.

On the bright side, there’s no way but up from here, but he is at his absolute worst right now because he has EVERYTHING to lose, a lot of people who depend on him and not enough energy left in him to start over if he fails. Syd, on the other hand, still has it in her, whether she stays or leaves. She’s fucked right now too, which is her responsibility and not Carmy’s -even though Carmy definitely contributed- but Syd, as she is, can still make it anywhere. Whether she stays or leaves, she is still at a good enough point where she can still work it out, no matter what she chooses. Unlike Carmy.

And even when Carmy’s best interests are not 100% her responsibility, they are part of that partnership she chose to be in, she cares about it, and it’s in her nature to want to nurture, support, and inspire those around her and right now who needs that the most is... you guessed it: Carmen Berzatto, the piece of shit. Not at her expense, of course. That is the part of the job SHE has to do in herself so this “support” doesn’t entail her own harm. That's HER arc.

There is a way in which both can win and Carmy doesn’t have to lose so she can choose herself. That way is based on full and mutual honesty, open communication, compromise, and patience. It is NOT based on bottling up feelings, not voicing needs, not setting boundaries and reinforcing them when needed, resenting each other, and most importantly: denying emotions, which is what they both excel at. Because emotions are on the left-hand column🔗. Their emotions are the game changers. Especially when you lead with your heart.

Bonus track: If you think for a second that Carmen Berzatto doesn’t lead with his ❤️, just like Syd does, then you’re wrong. You don’t know him. He might be too much in his head right now, and that is a very dark place, but he's all heart, which makes him extremely dangerous when he crosses over into his dark side. Hence → S3. And here's another catch: He knew this all along, he knew what getting that bullshit star (for her) was gonna trigger in him, he expected this. He tried to protect her and talk her out of it. But there was no use because they both lead with their hearts. And that is why, no matter what it looks like right now, no matter how many detours they take, they will always end up HERE 🔗.

Summing up: I'm not worried 💅

[artist-issues]

Hello! Hope I am not pestering.

It seems someone new is responding to the pinned post again, so I will try not to sound redundant. I took a gander at your second to last point and I am curious about something.

In regards to stories that don't have known authors, like folk stories that were passed down orally and only after some point were written down by a person who wanted to put it all together; could we say then, what the author intended to say with the story is open to multiple interpretations? Would that then be that stories of this nature are not in fact stories, but just gibberish?

Maybe! Like the Brothers Grimm collecting folk tales, that sort of thing? It’s very important to this whole conversation that everyone understands: there can be multiple interpretations of any story. There can be. But those interpretations are either “correct” about what the author was saying, or “incorrect.” There are also different layers of meaning, even in intended meaning. We call it “nuance.” But just because there is nuance doesn’t mean there are no boundaries of what’s correct and what’s not.

Just like if the Main Point of a story is, “Faith Triumphs Over Fear” has a lot of layers of consequential meaning.

If I say “Star Wars’ main point, as a franchise, is that Faith Triumphs over Fear,” and you say, “Star Wars is about darkness versus light,” guess what? We actually don’t disagree. Your “interpretation” is just a different phrasing or stage of mine. Because faith could be rephrased as “light” and darkness as “fear,” in the context of Star Wars. And if someone said, “Star Wars is about how family love always wins against lust for power,” guess what, that still falls under the banner of “Faith Triumphs Over Fear.” Because family love requires faith: taking action based on trust in a person you’ve bonded with even though you can’t 100% prove they’ll always have your back, versus power, which is only chased by the villains in Star Wars because power brings what ladies and gentlemen? Control. So we’re back to faith-versus-fear, just from a “family” perspective.

So. There can be different layers of correct interpretation. And, there can be totally contradictory interpretations of a story—but just like anything in life, if two truth-statements contradict one another, they cannot both be right. One, or both of them, must be wrong.

So if one person says Lord of the Rings is about conquering and subduing weaker populaces, and another says Lord of the Rings is about the value in populaces that are sometimes perceived as “weaker,” they can’t both be right. They cannot both be correct interpretations, because they cancel each other out.

That is all I’m ever saying. Not that nobody is allowed to interpret a story differently. Just that there was an intended meaning, so your interpretation COULD BE WRONG.

And with that said, the Brothers’ Grimm’s collection of stories? Well, they had to summarize and re-write them. So they had to make their own interpretive judgement on the oral stories they were hearing, and then write their own. So, in that sense, maybe we’ll never know if they correctly interpreted what they heard. And, we’ll never know if what they created was faithful to what they heard. We can only judge each story by what it says.

Maybe you can’t know what the little old lady telling the Brothers Grimm Hansel and Gretel meant by her tale because you didn’t get to hear the way she told it. But the Brothers Grimm meant something, when they re-told it. So figure out the intended meaning of what you got, not what you don’t. It’s a faith thing. You don’t know what chemical makeup and manufactured history the clothes on your back have, but you still wear them in public as if you’re sure they won’t unravel.

What the storytellers call their stories changes things, too. Like the remakes that are so popular today. If someone makes a story about a headstrong and adventurous young woman who claps-back at those who wrong her and conquers the heart of a prince through flirting—then they call that a “Cinderella” story—they’re wrong. They’re mislabeling their story. Because none of the earliest versions of Cinderella are about that kind of girl. That is a wrong interpretation of the story. So…they should call it something else. That’s fine. But don’t try to change a story’s meaning, just call it something else.

Basically, my answer to your question is: no, a collective summary of oral traditions does not have to be gibberish. It could be a faithful reproduction of what the oral storytellers were trying to say—a “correct” interpretation, passed on. It could also be an incorrect interpretation, but at that point, if we can’t interpret the source material for ourselves? Firsthand? Then all we get to do is interpret the passed-on version. And try to do that correctly. Like a game of telephone. Because the point is to understand what the storyteller is trying to tell you, then make a judgement call, or even start saying your own thing. (The point is not to change what they’re saying.) And if you can’t hear the storyteller with your own ears, you can only hear a secondhand account, or thirdhand, or whatever? Then that’s all you have to go on.

Think about how conversation works. Even the words I choose to use might not be the exact most perfect tools to convey what I really mean. Because I’m a fallible human. And your perceptive biases might warp the words I use, too. Add into the mix more people, passing our words to each other through their own perceptive filters? You could lose a lot of originally-intended meaning. But if any conversation is going to happen at all, any communication—you have to just do the best you can in good faith. You have to say, “I’m going to come to this conversation believing you’re trying to say something, and willing to understand.”

That was kinda rambly, sorry. But hopefully something in there answers your question!

[yuseirra]

I honestly think there's a reason for having written Kamiki's character this way, I can sense it, if this isn't all. I ACTUALLY have a good idea how it's going to be and why it's like this. I jotted something down again...I keep talking about it because I feel like I can catch a glimpse of what they're going for in terms of what they want to do with this character. If you like him or the hikaai ship, it might give you hope~☺

I wrote this as a memo after having drawn that most recent comic with him and Ai, it may add to the context- my comics are based on my intepretations and analysis I have of them. It reflects those.

Yranslated in bulk through the trusty chatgpt 4.0..^^.. I do read it over before posting it but if there's anything awkward...it wasn't originally written in English so please be easy on me..!

This character(Kamiki) seems to have a very lonely personality. Ai has a slightly avoidant temperament, so she endures things alone, handling everything herself without relying on others. But this character genuinely loves being around people. Because of that, he finds it difficult to let go of people, easily trusts others, and, even though he gets hurt, still has a desire to build connections. In some ways, this desire is even stronger than Ai's; Ai is content if she can express herself and form a meaningful relationship with one or two people she truly cherishes. However, Kamiki has always liked being around people. It’s not so much that he’s extroverted—he just seemed to enjoy being around others. Due to environmental issues, he developed some anxious tendencies, but if he had grown up naturally, true to his nature, it’s likely that he, not Ai, would have been the one to act affectionately. You can tell by his expressions—he looked so happy, so joyful, and delighted. When he looked at Ai, he seemed like he almost didn’t know what to do with himself because he was overjoyed. He naturally had a love for people(more than Ai in a way because Ai started out cynical- they are in reverse. Kamiki starts out having a natural affection towards people and ended up becoming heartless while Ai started out being wary, then she started to find genuine love. They both are "loving" but I'm talking about their nature of development), and all that affection ended up ultimately being directed at Ai, who had shown him love. He adored people like a puppy, even when he was kicked around, and wanted to keep loving them.

But after losing Ai in such a terrible way, his heart completely withered away. In fact, it feels like the Kamiki we knew died when Ai did.

He changed completely, becoming someone entirely different.

This character's past is filled with suffering, and he is extremely isolated, which feels very unnatural given his personality and appearance. It seems like he never met anyone other than Ai who treated him kindly and warmly, and it’s as if he had no real family relationships either. Normally, in a natural situation, this kind of isolation would be unlikely. It’s not like he had a bad personality, wasn’t attractive enough, lacked intelligence, or had no abilities—he was superior in many ways. Yet, strangely, his life is downright miserable. There are lives like that, but in his case, it seems as if his happiness has been deliberately designed to be absent without Ai.

If I were the writer crafting this character, that would be the main reason for having made him like this.

To ensure that this person, who was decent to this extent, ended up living solely for Ai, I would push his life to such extremes. Making him so blindly dependent on Ai that he couldn’t possibly live without her. The character would be created so that Ai becomes his entire world. He would be willing to give everything, sacrifice anything, live entirely for Ai. But even with all that said, Kamiki wasn’t inherently the kind of person who would go completely mad, even under the worst circumstances. His basic nature wasn’t like that; he wasn’t the type to harm others. He was genuinely gentle and sensitive by nature. Now, he has completely lost his mind, which means there must have been a critical external factor that pushed him over the edge.

That’s what the songs are describing.

In a way, that’s a source of hope, because without it, how could he possibly be saved? It would be hopeless!! What’s the point of trying to save a person so evil and corrupt to the brim? But Ai asked to save him, right? So, it has to be done. For a character like Kamiki, what matters most is Ai’s will, from a narrative standpoint. Even if he says, “I’m beyond hope; I’m a criminal and can’t be saved,” if Ai says, “No, you deserve help,” then that’s how it should go. In this story, who matters more? Ai or Kamiki? It’s Ai, right? Kamiki exists because of Ai, and he is a character who moves according to her presence. He’s simply a character created for Ai. I like it :) Writing stories like that and creating characters like that—it’s quite common in romance stories. Even if you don’t study it, you get the sense of it just by observing.

If I were the writer, I would feel sorry for this character. I had to create him this way for the story (for characters like Nino and Ryosuke, I’d feel sorry because they were designed as villains from the start, but for this character, I’d feel sorry for making his life like this and breaking him to pieces). I probably wrote it this way because it was necessary for the story.

If I were in charge, I’d make sure to give the character enough focus in the story. I would definitely do that.

And if it were up to me, I would never let this character end like this without achieving anything, even once. Even for a villain, if they’re a proper one, they should be given some spotlight. If not, well, then they aren’t really the final boss, are they? Look at what’s happening now. It just makes you think, “Wow… this guy has lost it,” and, “Oh, he wants to see Ai (but is this true love or obsession?)” That’s what you think when you take a step back and just look at it. The character has depth, but this just doesn’t feel satisfying. Looking at the authors’ capabilities, it’s not that they can’t write it properly; they’re just holding it back for now.

It’s really cruel, the way they handle this character. But... if my guess is right, this author’s way of handling characters may be quite similar to mine. I get it, so I end up talking a lot.

When someone creates something beautiful and then completely shatters it, leaving no trace of its original form, it’s not without a reason, as long as it doesn’t come from sadistic intent.

Well... if it turns out they’re doing this just because they lack space in the story, or the effort for proper development, then it'd explain them having given them those two really good songs out of pity. But I hope that's not it. Either way, you'd feel sorry for this character from a writer's standpoint. That'd be the case for me since for me, my characters are like my children or a part of me. You don't make them suffer for the sake of plain suffering...at least, it's not the way I work. I guess I can't say for the writer's behalf but I feel like they do care about their characters. It's inevitable to a degree, if you want to form a character's heart and mentality. You have to dive into them in order to create a complex state of mind. And Kamiki's probably pretty complex. We can't seem to get a clear idea of him, but it does seem like he'd be a lot more than just a flat piece of paper.

It’s almost like, just like in the song "Dead and Seek," he wished to see his deceased lover again, and then something crept into his eyes, shattering and twisting his personality. The songs seem to imply that. If he were just a normal character, I wouldn’t even bring this up. He was someone who practically didn’t have a single malicious bone in his body.

Ai also often misses the mark, but she doesn’t seem to have any intention of hurting others. Aqua and Ruby, on the other hand, have those aspects, and while they can be negative, those traits are also what make them more human in a way.

But with Ai and Kamiki, those traits were almost entirely absent. It’s like they were divine beings in a way. That's actually why I feel...it may be that his responsibility of what brought him to be this way could actually be less than what we may make out of it. If someone contaminates water and dirties it, the water is not at fault but the person is. This boy...started out to be so pure. I guess he should be held responsible, he should be punished for his wrongdoings if he's done so many horrible things, but he didn't start out like this and I'm not sure if he could have become this way while being himself. It really gets me. And that's honestly the only way I see Ai's wish bearing fruit.