#[ after a literal year in prison ]

[7cfc00]

home is where the heart is (and yours is gone)

[arsenicflame]

i think the thing for me about edizzy is the potential of it all- we know they have history together, but we don't know what it is, how long it went on for, what it meant for them. there's endless possibilities there to explore, and any of them could be real! or not! but theres so much to explore with them and its so fun to imagine all the what-if's and could-have-beens of their relationship

[memento-morri-writes]

More dnd writing because it's all I have but I here's a snippet from a vignette I did of Rook's past (from Zara's POV), because Rook and his mentors never fails to make me sick (/pos).

[transcript under the cut]

Taking a coin out of her pocket, she rolled it across her knuckles, back and forth. It gave her hands something to do, and prevented the urge to bite her nails, something she hadn’t done in years. Ten minutes passed, then twenty. Zara began to pace as Rook’s breathing grew shakier and the color drained from his skin. Where the hells is Jay? she wondered. The room was so quiet that she could hear every tick of the small clock on her bedside table, and each one echoed in her head. How many ticks does he have left? She didn’t want to think about it.  She’d had crew members die before, of course. You don’t go as many years as a captain as she had and never lose a soul. But all the others who had died had died quickly, in combat. She’d mourned for all of them, even shed tears in private, but there was something different about watching the life drain out of a person right in front of your eyes.

[spitedriven]

i've been a touch hesitant to make this post buuuut--

i think most shipping with lucanis is best done post-veilguard. truth be told, he's not in the right headspace during the game to really entertain the idea of a romantic partner. it's not that he doesn't want romance, nor that he wouldn't grow romantically fond of someone, but he is literally fresh out of a year in prison, has a spirit inside him that wants to break free and do maker knows what in the world, and his grandmother essentially dies as soon as he gets back. not to mention y'know. the fucking main plot of the game.

the man is, rightfully, fully preoccupied.

on top of that, he's demi. he wants to take a romance slow. he wants to build trust and familiarity. he wants to know his partner deeply. additionally, he's not exactly living a peaceful life, nor will he ever leave the crows. best case, he's going back to the crows as first talon and maybe a peaceful transition. worst, it's going to be struggle and infighting and everyone jumping on top of each other in power grabs while others are weak. especially on house dellamorte. and the first talon's new lover will absolutely be a target. he needs to know that his lover can protect themselves when he's not there.

and, truthfully, he needs his partner to understand that they will come second to leading the crows. lucanis takes responsibility very seriously. becoming first talon, becoming head of house dellamorte, those are massive responsibilities that he will not fail at. it will take nearly all his time and focus. his lover will not be his first priority (a very close second, for sure, but not everyone wants to play second fiddle to a job). he wants to take it slow to give them outs. to let them understand how things will go. he can compromise, to a degree, but being first talon comes before everything else.

and of course, spite is part of the package deal. he cannot be with someone who is uncomfortable around spite, and after veilguard, someone who is mean or insensitive to spite. lucanis has his hands full negotiating life with spite, and his lover needs to help with it, to a degree. that's not to say they need to bear the brunt of the burden, but lucanis needs help keeping spite from wandering away or understanding how much time has passed since spite took over.

he's got a lot on his plate still, after veilguard, and this isn't even touching the family aspect of it all with caterina and illario. which is all to say--lucanis might develop feelings, even strong feelings, during veilguard, but there's a lot of other things on his mind as well, and he doesn't want his potential lover to have to put up with his mess. he wants to feel like he can pull an equal weight. he doesn't want to trauma dump or have someone play therapist. he wants to put himself in order. and that takes time he doesn't have in veilguard.

the biggest change i'll say is that his romance scene, the night before the final battle, is less about sex and more about hand holding and quiet conversation and promises that if they make it through this, he wants more.

[fatewoven]

Determination became Spite because of Zara. As a spirit embodying the unwavering adherence to one's purpose, he was drawn to Lucanis' resolve to continue, to persevere, to always finish the work despite his very tangible desire to die. Determination found a kindred soul in the depths of the Ossuary, one unwilling to give in to the torture and grant their tormentors the satisfaction of success, and when forced to join, he, like Lucanis, wanted to spite her. And Spite he did by refusing to ruin his host's mind; he aided Lucanis by hiding away the worst of his memories. He was the voice that guided Lucanis through the worst days down there. Combined with the infamous endurance gained from Crow training, they survived (barely, barely, but Determination held them together and Spite kept him moving, kept him ready to kill Caliban at first opportunity) the prison until Rook came to the rescue. Spite thought finally they're free, but then he couldn't account for the ways trauma manifests in a mortal's mind, nor the time required to fully mend from an experience like that; experiences that churned up recollections from his cruel youth as well, forced to be useful or be dead. Things he refuses to face when given the news Catarina is dead. And Spite understand Lucanis needs more help. He needs to talk to people to work through the depression and PTSD, and that's why he demanded to talk to Rook. It's why he skims over other people's emotions and memories in a bid for Lucanis to understand them, to converse and share personal information. Spite isn't a malicious spirit, but it learned Lucanis only reacted to pain, loud and grating words, and throughout the beginning of the game there is this harsh dissonance between them where once was unity, one forced under extreme duress but a harmony between spirit and host regardless. Then, as time goes on, as Lucanis learns to listen to Spite more, they reach that equilibrium they had. Spite will be content, because he is a spirit of Determination willing to see this wonderful, stubborn, and kind host's life through to the end. Spite loves Lucanis, so very dearly, unconditionally, and the bond is most prominent when they're somewhere private because Lucanis is at least courteous enough not to have conversations in his head while talking to any of the companions.

[widowshill]

— Are you sure Burke wants to buy Collinwood? — Yes, he said so. I'm just afraid it's only the beginning of what he wants.

[chaotic-toby]

Idv rant time baby

When I first started playing the game, the first character I bought was Luca, and no matter how many other characters came out that I also fell in love with, I will forever love Luca. He is my favourite character in the entire game, and I personally, think he's a really good character (I might be biased).

Now, I know idv has meta characters and non meta characters, but in my honest opinion, all characters are good if used correctly and you have skill, I suppose. I don't believe in meta. I have never once played a character just bc they're meta.

Back when I first started playing idv, I always hear people saying that Luca was really good. He was a really good decoder and kiter bc he had no kiting debuffs like Tracy and Helena. But now, years later, I keep hearing people say that he's garbage and low tier. I try to not let that bother me bc everyone has their different opinion about the characters and I suppose my opinion on there being no meta essentially is not common, but it really does bother me a lot.

Call me chronically online or whatever, but I feel personally offended whenever someone calls Luca a garbage character. It doesn't help that I genuinely feel like I am him (I am mentally ill I know that) but he is not garbage.

Are there characters whose abilities make it easier to win? Yes. But you can win with any character as long as you know how to play them AND play the game. I am genuinely so sick of people calling characters awful and low tier just bc their abilities suck or whatever.

What's the fun in playing an "easy" character. In the end, even if you do play a meta character, you still need skill.

Tldr: Luca is meta bc I'm basically him and I say so (no one can change my mind)

[aromanticasterisms]

actually. actually actually. with the knowledge that the traveler's sibling was used as a vessel for abyssal energy which then jumpstarted the cataclysm, i have to wonder if them being sealed by the sustainer first can now be interpreted in a new light?

[liatorii]

Soar throat, coughing fits, headaches and a possible inner ear infection is not the combo of pain I was expecting a week before going on vacation but here I am.

[datastate]

we need more cougar hunting lesbians in the world

[butchtwelfthdoctor]

there's a bit in the tardis wiki page for fifteen where it describes him as smth like 'free from the emotional baggage and deteriorating mental state of his predecessors' and its like. yup. things sure got Bad.

[apathyfairy]

some days you really just want to scream why is this so hard!!!!!! why is life so hard for me!!!!!!!!!!!!

[swagging-back-to]

CRYING FUCKING SOBBING "id know that mullet anywhere"

[grimmjowjaegerjaquez]

will also say that all my thinking about bleach and thus also my old bleach ocs, i am rethinking ways to combine two of the stories i had for them (lorcan's story, and alice's story. like they both originally involved a certain bat lmfao) and now i am like. i mean it started as me just thinking "well this would be a good way to consolidate everything" and now i am thinking about shipping them together and i am losing my mind. how do i keep doing this to myself.