#[ I love my angst but I also love my SOFT ]
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can you pls write something about reader being sick and like not the cough and cold kind of sick- like really really sick, and sukuna realising how much he doesn't want to lose her to this sickness and how if she dies, he'll be alone again..đ„ș
You have NO idea how much I love this idea!!! I did go a bit overboard with it cause I love suffering though đ Still, this was SO much fun to write and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Vows
Sukuna x Reader
Word count: 4.5k
Tags/warnings: gn! reader, true form! sukuna, master/pet dynamic, fluff but most importantly ANGST, mentions of weight loss, mentions of violence, implied nsfw, reader dies in the end :( (sorry)
It's not the first time Sukuna has been made aware of your mortality. He recalls many instances when he's been reminded that you are human. Finite. The first time he wrapped his hand around your throat and squeezed with calculation while you were laying under him, and you looked up at him in fear for your life. Your little hand couldn't even wrap around his wrist, much less provide resistance. Or when he'd pull your hair a little too roughly, and hear a crack in your delicate spine. When you'd get sick, and humbly refuse his healing. So little as a tummy ache had you writhing on your bed.
You are so weak, so small, clinging to life like there was anything for you in it, beyond Sukuna. By all means he hates all of these things. So what witchery is this, and why does he care about you so much? Why does he keep you for years, and why does your company bring him comfort he hasn't ever known in his lifetime?
Still, as much as he cares, he doesn't notice when it starts. He's trained you to tolerate pain, after all. It's no wonder you hesitate to tell him. Little things like tummyaches and colds occur to you all the time anyways, and you never complain. Sure, you've grown closer to Sukuna, but he was still your master, and the rules he instilled in you from the start were always fresh in your mind, not to be crossed. Bothering him with everything that feels off always seemed inappropriate.
And Sukuna is just like that. If you're not screaming or crying, he won't know you're in pain. But he notices that you're acting off. And how he reacts really doesn't help your case, or encourage you to speak up about your condition. ''I don't have all day. What is wrong with you?'', he sneers when he catches you pacing too far behind him.
So you just sleep longer and preserve energy for when you are with him. You don't skip around as much anymore, or spend time doing your hobbies. Food doesn't taste so great anymore. You have a cough that gives you sleepless nights because it just won't calm down. And the time you owe Sukuna starts to feel like an obligation. You start to dread it. Dread slipping up, dread annoying him or failing to satisfy him. Dread being disposable.
When things start getting worse, it's hard to hide it even from him. He was taking you from behind one night, and you were grateful he couldn't see the look on your face. You thought you could do it. Sukuna was always demanding, but he would never force you to do anything. If only you told him before you felt yourself struggling for air, and your chest closing in on itself in tightness. You reached one hand back, frantically grabbing his wrist.
''Feathers, feathers!'', words came out as gasps, and you slumped forward when he let you go. You were panicked and crying by then, this kind of discomfort being foreign even to you, even after weeks of pain behind you. He hovered next to you with a puzzled look on his face. He wasn't even being that rough.
''What's wrong? Tell me.'', he said, and reached his hand to feel the warmth of your tears streaming down your face. He swiped your cheek gently. He didn't seem mad at all. Why didn't you say anything from the start?
''I just feel so sick.'', you muster up in between sobs, and shut your eyes. You were too embarrassed to even look at him.
''I see.''. His hand leaves your face, and he traces it from your neck down your spine. The pain subsided slowly, allowing you to relax and find comfort in his arms.
But the effects of his healing were short lived. Just a week later the feeling of fatigue creeps back into your life. Manageable, but lingering. And the cough persists. And it gets on Sukuna's nerves too. He's been quite patient with you, but his patience was reaching it's limit.
You're sitting by his throne as you often do, and as hard as you try to hold the cough in, you just can't help it. His hand finds the back of your neck and squeezes, turning you to him. And he looks at you with all four, terrifying eyes. ''Can you shut up?''
''I'm sorry, I'm trying -'', you stutter, but just end up coughing more. He doesn't wait for you to stop.
''Get out of here.'', and pushes you away. You stumble down the pile of bones and fall, landing on your hands and knees. You don't remember him being this cruel to you in a long time. You look back at him with teary eyes, and he looks back like the merciless monster he is. The villagers awaiting him moved to make space for your fall, taking note of the tense situation.
That day, Sukuna sends word that he doesn't want to see you until you get better. You're forbidden from going outside again, in fear that that is making your 'cold' worse. It's a lonely week in your room, until Sukuna starts to crave you again. It didn't take him a while, counting the couple days he spent convincing himself he doesn't miss you. He does. So when he sends word for you again, and the servants come back to him saying you're still not feeling well... he's worried. So worried he comes to see it for himself.
Sukuna rarely comes to your room. It's the only space you have for yourself, and he doesn't want to take that away from you. Your room is modest. You have a bed, a carpet, and a couple shelves to house the books he's gifted you. There's a desk where you can eat and read, and a doorway to the garden. There's an empty glass of water and a napkin next to your bed. You're still sleeping, but the door shutting behind him wakes you up, so he doesn't get to enjoy observing you in your natural habitat for long.
It's not the first time doors opening and closing woke you up. But you know this time is different. The servants are always quickly shuffling around the room, cleaning up and moving around. Uraume clanks with plates. There is no noise now, other than your strained breathing and a cough brewing in the back of your throat. Besides, the aura that Sukuna brings with him everywhere he goes is recognizable. Especially to you. Heavy.
You turn around, and meet the gaze of his four eyes. ''Master...'', you struggle to sit up, and even a little action like that has spots forming in your vision. Then a coughing fit hits you. You pick up the napkin and put it to your mouth.
Sukuna sees your whole body strain with the effort of coughing. And when you call him master, even your voice sounds different. He knows your morning voice. He missed hearing it, but this... this is not it. You sit with your head hung low, staring at the napkin between your hands. There's a fresh splatter of blood on it. But Sukuna scares you more than the progression of your illness.
''Are you mad at me?'', you ask timidly, meeting his gaze.
''I'm concerned.", he says and sits next to you. You curl up to make space for him. "Two weeks is a long time for a frail human like you to be sick.", he looks at you, scanning your form up and down.
"I rested and drank every tea Uraume told me to!", your defense mechanism kicks in, and you start babbling.
Sukuna dismisses you with a hand and a pained facial expression. "I know.", he says. His brows are furrowed now, and he's looking at the ground, lost in thought.
You feel guilty for annoying him again. You feel guilty for the whole thing, getting sick, draining the energy it takes him to heal you, robbing him of the time with you that he deserves. Owns. He is very generous with the way he treats you, having all that in mind.
You tug on his sleeve. "I'm sorry, Master... You deserve better.", and you're sobbing again. Sukuna gives you a pathetic look, but smiles as he pulls you into his embrace.
"Silly pet. I can survive a couple weeks without your assistance.", he says, rubbing your shoulder.
You run your fingers against the back of his hand mindlessly, not knowing how to respond. Caressing his knuckles, bones, veins... feeling his nails and their sharp tips against your sensitive skin. When you bring his palm up to your lips, your kiss stains it red with blood.
-
You still sleep with Sukuna sometimes. Less frequently, only on days when you feel well enough, and those are rare. You've lost weight by now, sickness making itself visible on your body. You're sitting on his lap and clinging to your robes, scared that he won't like you as much, that you won't live up to his standards. But Sukuna's demeanor about your illness has changed, as he seemed to sense something unusual about it. He flips you over so gently, like you're made of glass, and peppers kisses from your neck downwards, slowly undressing you as much as you allow him. When he takes you, he's so careful. Constantly checking you're comfortable and enjoying yourself. You feel so loved and relaxed, and pleasure comes so easy when you're in this state. It's not the first time Sukuna is this caring with you in bed, but this time is different. This time you can't help but feel like he's saying goodbye.
He holds you afterwards, tracing his fingers over the ridges of your spine and your shoulders. You were always little in his grasp, but now that he feels your protruding bones under his fingertips, you seem all the more vulnerable.
"Will you kill me?", you ask, breaking the silence.
Sukuna frowns. "Nonsense. Why would I do that?"
There's a gulp in your throat. "It won't be long before I can't even do this. I won't be of any use to you then...", you say.
"Stop.", he says sternly. "There's a lot more to you than what you provide me with in bed."
You smile to yourself, but there's still a hole in your chest. Your statement is still true, and you aren't comforted. But this is Sukuna, and you know that he's offered you quite a lot even with that little bit of reassurance. To your surprise, he speaks again.
"Don't upset yourself. It's been a long time since killing you crossed my mind.", he says. "Save the energy for something else."
You nod and thank him. Just moments later, you're asleep. Quicker than ever before, he notes. You usually love it when he lets you cuddle and talk to him. You would force your eyes open when you were sleepy, just to enjoy it longer.
He feels guilty. He's your master, he's responsible for your well being. Yet nothing he does seems to help you long term. Healing you is temporary and he knows that without accessing the source, it will never work. If he could, he would find what was making you sick and rip it out of you with his bare hands, crush it with the force of his palm. He would have to look deeper, open you, and for once, he thinks he can't open a human being. He thinks of you trashing, screaming, and worst of all, looking into his eyes. Just the thought of you like that makes his chest feel like a gaping cavity. Worst of all, he's sure you would let him. He's sure you would forgive him for spilling your blood, and find comfort in his arms again. If you survived, that is. What has he done to you? And to himself?
Now, your head rests on his chest, and you're snoring lightly. For once, a repetitive noise like that doesn't annoy him. For once, he wishes he could listen to it every night. One day, that noise will be the only thing audibly confirming you're still alive.
-
Months pass and you're only getting worse. You barely leave your room now, too weak to even do so. You eat little, and it's showing in your sunken cheeks and eyes. You feel yourself withering away, loosing color, drying like a dying flower. Sukuna is in grief. He struggles to look at you, and visiting you falls heavy on him every time. He always finds himself thinking afterwards. Regretting that he let himself get this attached, wishing that he could simply forget you. But it doesn't work that way.
He goes to see you, after avoiding you for a week. He's Sukuna, he doesn't have any shame. You're sleeping, like you usually are when he comes to visit you. Your snoring is laboured, and it sounds painful. This time, the doors and the silence don't wake you up. He watches you, curled up under a stack of blankets, rising and falling with your struggles to breathe. How foolish he was, to think forgetting you would be as easy as avoiding you for days. How evil he was, trying to forget you while you are still alive under his wing, still his responsibility. Still his.
He sits next to you and leans over you, fingertips ghosting over your face. The snoring stops and you flutter your eyes open, turning in bed and feeling his body next to yours. You smirk at him, eyes adjusting to the light, and smile when you recognize him. ''Master.'', your arms wrap around his neck as you welcome him, your voice dry, but lively as you beckon him closer. ''I missed you.''.
He comes down to plant a kiss to your forehead. ''I missed you too, darling.''. Oh, the things that escape his mouth when he's alone with you. He cups your face, enjoying how much healthier you look with a smile on your face. ''Feeling any better?'', he rubs your cheek, lingering closely above your face.
You nod, but both of you know you only feel better because you saw him. Still, the little surge of happiness that brings you gives you more energy than you've had the whole week. You wiggle to the edge of the bed, making space and inviting him to join you. Sukuna lies down, hooking one arm underneath your neck and pulling you flush against him.
You wrap your arm around him and lean your head against his shoulder. He's still as big as you remember him, unfaltering in the face of your illness. It's comforting. ''You didn't visit in a while. Were you busy?'', you ask, stroking his back. ''How were your days?''
''Monotone.'', he says. ''The villagers bring remedies for you every day, and wish for you to get well.'' It's no wonder. So many times, Sukuna found himself hesitating to kill just because you were sitting on his knee, dressed in something too pretty to be splattered with blood. In the local villages, word spread that you have ''domesticated'' Sukuna. As if such a thing was possible. Or was it?
''Oh?'', you smile. ''I didn't think they would notice my absence.''. You always were supposed to be Sukuna's accessory and nothing more. Remedies and good wishes make it sound like you're more important than just a pet. So it really is that obvious...
''They did.'', he says, and lowers his head, brushing his nose against your face. ''Some took that as an opportunity to gift me new pets.''
You blink at him, a bit taken aback by his honesty. You keep smiling anyways. ''Did you take any?'', you ask, and he sees nothing but genuine curiosity in your eyes. The truth is, you've had a lot of time to think about your place in Sukuna's mansion. You knew, especially in sickness, that you were never entitled to exclusivity with him. You knew that at some point you would have to be replaced, just by the virtue of being a mortal. A human, who would age and become ugly, wrinkled and useless. You were just unlucky enough to meet this fate sooner than you should've.
Sukuna sighs, the weight of the conversation shifting to him. ''Not to bed, no.'', he says.
You're quiet while you think of what to say. You still have a habit of picking words when you're with Sukuna, but the times when he would punish you for improper formulation are far behind you. "Why not?", you settle. You hope the implication is there, that you wouldn't be so mad even if he did.
Why not? Because he thinks it might break him. Because the image of someone else in your place, under him, feels unnatural and wrong. He thinks the guilt might eat him alive. For once in centuries, someone else's needs come before Sukuna's. He is gone, so far gone. You've raised his standards, and he's not sure anyone he takes now will be able to live up to them. Besides, training a new pet to fit your mold would take years, and even then... He couldn't train someone to love him. Not like you do.
''I wouldn't want you to hold back because of me.'', you say, and he realizes he's been quiet for too long. Years ago, if you dared to imply that Sukuna would do such a thing as hold back because of you, that he cared, you would've been minced meat ready for dinner. Now, he looks down at you tenderly when you say it. Well, a tender look from Sukuna is a docile one. You've gotten used to the way that Sukuna communicates love. Subtly, innocuously.
''Worry about getting well, pet.'', he shuts down the conversation, and moves away from you, sitting back on the bed. ''Any wishes? Food? Activities?'', he asks, and feels your forehead with the back of his hand.
Food? No, but... ''I'd like you to stay, please.'', you say, and take his hand with the two of yours, feeling it up with your thumbs.
Sukuna resists the urge to roll his eyes, knowing the thought of annoying him would upset you greatly. ''That's a given. Anything else?''
You pretend to think, then just babble your favorite food. Sukuna takes your order to Uraume. But when he comes back, you're already asleep again. He waits by your side, but you don't wake, so eventually he leaves. By the evening, the plate of your favorite food remains untouched.
-
You can't leave the bed on your own anymore. Sukuna carries you outside when you're feeling good enough. You barely have the strength to latch onto him securely. Still, it's hard to slip out of the grasp of his four arms. He says you've gotten pale. You lay in his lap and bask in the sun, while he tells you about his day or reads a book out loud for you to enjoy. You wish you could talk to him more, but your voice leaves you as days of endless coughing wreck your throat. No herbs and teas ease your condition anymore. You wait for your final day.
And Sukuna doesn't know when he's given up on the idea that you might get better. But he starts spending whole days with you, leaving your side only to sleep in his bed. He tends to almost all your needs personally. You think that if you asked him to get on his knees for you, he would. He is not familiar with this ache that brews in his chest when he looks to his side and doesn't see you there. It feels violating. To be as powerful as he is, and yet completely helpless in the face of the sickness that drains you in front of his very eyes.
He plays with your thinning hair one morning, and you look at him from his lap, as adoringly as always. ''Isn't it funny?.'', you say, and he snaps out of his thoughts to look at you. ''I always imagined dying by your hand.'', you kiss his hand again, planting your dry, blue lips against his knuckles. ''Who would have thought?''.
You, you little human. You made him feel like a fool, like a coward. You made him feel powerless. Who could ever get away unscathed with making Sukuna feel like this? The thought of killing you now, even out of mercy, fills him with horror. He thinks he couldn't live carrying the burden of your death on his back. It's already hard for him as is.
When he's not with you, he withers away in his room, waiting. And when the servants finally come, and tell him you're at your last strengths, he feels as tense as he feels relieved. The servants shake in fear of his reaction, and he simply dismisses them. In a thousand years of his existence, he doesn't remember having to prepare to enter a room. His hand trembles as he brings it up to push the door open. He dreads what awaits him inside.
He expected blood, hysteria, chaos, yet there's none of it when he walks in. Just the pained noises of your breathing. A servant, your favorite, sits by your side and wipes sweat off your forehead. She talks to you in a comforting tone and pats your head gently. When he walks in the room, she lowers her head and moves to leave. It's only a second, but he sees the sad look on your face. ''Stay.'', he orders, and the servant bows and thanks him.
You move your attention to him, raising your hand to greet him weakly. He picks it up and bends down to kiss it. There's tears in your eyes as he settles into a seat next to you, and you open your mouth in an attempt to say something.
''Easy now.'', he shushes you, and helps you into his lap. You lean back, looking at him through a blur. His features appear even more doubled through the tears, and you still find his beauty mesmerizing. Your master. Your own little god and protector. Although he regrets it, you've never claimed the title of his spouse. Yet, he still stuck by your side, until parted by death. In sickness and in health.
He wipes your tears, and the mouth he conjures onto his hand kisses your forehead. One set of his hands caresses your face, the other massages the tension out of your bony shoulders. Sukuna knows how important it is for you to pass in peace. He doesn't want to curse you, or have despair turn you into a curse. "Relax now.", his voice is so soothing, as if lulling you to sleep. "It won't be long". You weep. What did an ordinary human like you do to deserve this honor? To be comforted on their death bed by a god. To be guided to death by him.
"Master.", you sob. "I'm so scared..."
Delicate touch against your skin. Sharp nails grazing your cheek ever so slightly, just barely enough to make their presence known. "Have no fear.", Sukuna looms over you like a snowdrop. "Where you go now, pain won't follow.". You speak to him a little longer. Tell him all the things you always wanted to tell him, but were scared of the consequences. Dangerous words, ones that were rarely associated with Sukuna. Love. And Sukuna is attentive, so human. Your blinking slows and you find comfort in his voice, as he returns every loving word back to you. Your pained breathing follows, and your eyelids are so heavy. But the sight of him is so hypnotizing, you wish you never had to look away. "You are so brave, my little dove. Go now, be free.". You were too good for this wretched palace anyways. The sight of him is etched in your memory as you close your eyes. "It was a pleasure to have you by my side.", you listen, feeling control over your body slip through your fingers. When you can't move, or feel his touch, you still hear his calm voice. "When you're ready, come back to me. I'll be waiting for your return.". Then everything is quiet, for you and for him. The servants cries are muffled by the sheets, where she has her head pressed by your side.
The hallways, silent except for the busy tapping of feet. Outside, the wind blows petals off of blooming flowers, leaving them bare and stranded. Autumn is here to carry you away.
Servants hold their breath when Sukuna walks by. One wrong look at him and the walls would be painted red. Just like before. Before you. And it's not long before Sukuna looks like a monster again - red eyes and a permanent frown etched on his face. Villagers bring bouquets, and lay them to the right of his throne, where you used to sit. He stares them all down, and only for a moment thinks that maybe, humans are not the scum he thought they were. But then he remembers, they only mourn you because you held him back from his destructive tendencies. Scum.
And he kills again. The first is a villager from afar, where news of your passing hasn't reached. Ripped to shreds for mentioning you. The women who screamed, their blood soaks the carpets and seeps through the wooden floor, dripping down to the cellars. He feels like himself again, unhinged, unbeatable.
Until the day is over, and he goes back to his empty room. His cold, empty bed, and the old habit of reaching for you in his sleep, only to grab nothing instead. And the crocheted figures of the two of you on his nightstand, watching him as he struggles to sleep alone. He can't bear it. So he leaves, and doesn't come back for days, weeks, months.
Smoke clouds the skies on the horizon once again, after years and years of peace and clarity. As far as the eye stretches, the world will know of Sukuna's wrath. But as thrilling as it feels to conquer again, when the village is burned and ash covers the grass on the ground, the thought of you still lingers. Your devastated eyes the first time he's killed before you. The first time he's felt guilty about his monstrous nature. When he comes back, no one's warm embrace awaits him. No one's there to brighten up his day. No amount of blood shed and villages burned replace the emptiness you left behind in his heart.
The grief settles, and sits heavy in Sukuna's chest, as he assumes position in his lonely throne again, and gazes at the row of people waiting to beg, talk, offer... bore him. Another eternity of boredom. An eternity of picking through thousands of humans, in vain hopes of finding you again. In vain hopes of recognizing you, even if it's lifetimes from now, when the last memory of your face has already faded from his mind. When generations change, and the thought of a monster like Sukuna being capable of tenderness vanishes. When the fire in his chest, ignited by love, is already a memory so distant, that recalling it feels surreal.
Maybe he will forget you by then. Maybe times will harden him again, and the idea of a pet becoming his lover will make him laugh. But for now, the thought of finding you in a crowd, taking you in his arms and never letting go, is his comfort and safe place. For now, he will wait for you. As long as it takes, like a stone, unyielding against the passing of time.
#sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk angst#jjk fluff#sukuna fluff#sukuna angst#sukuna#soft sukuna#i love bastardizing sukuna in my fics#also this is totally leading me into a part 2 w reincarnated reader#yes weve heard it a thousand times#idc it makes me happy
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Worth the Peril
Summary: In another life, Astarion would have made a decent barbarian. Despite Karlachâs cheerful demeanor, for the most part, barbarians were known to be violent, brutal, and cruel. All things that Astarion could easily tap into if the situation called for it. And right now, he was entering a rage. OR Upon arriving in the Underdark, you go down in a battle, leaving Astarion to pick up the pieces.
Pairing: Astarion x f!reader Rating: 18+ (no smut) Word count: 15.1k CW: reader gets hurt - violence, severe injury, blood, descriptions of wound, depictions of pain, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, protective Astarion, blind with rage Astarion, soft Astarion, reader is an idiot (and a bard), so is Astarion (not a bard, just an idiot), everyone else sees what Astarion can't Spoilers: Minor spoilers for Act 1 (in-game dialogue, plot points, etc.) Also posted to: AO3 FAIR WARNING: This is PART 5 in my series, "Beauty and the Bard." Find the masterlist here.
a/n: SHE'S HERE!! I am SO excited to be finally be posting the newest chapter of Beauty and the Bard! Thank you so much for your patience as I was sorting this one out. I've always been a huge fan of the hurt/comfort trope and the "Person A gets hurt and Person B loses it" trope, so this is my take on both of those tropes in one! Did I fudge the numbers of the Duergar fight in the Underdark from Act One? Yes. Did I fudge the numbers in terms of injury severity and what's actually possible through magical healing? Also yes! But in a world where a skeleton will bring you back from the dead for $200, OR, simply sleeping a full eight hours will heal you completely, I think I was able to make it make sense. Hopefully. Apologies to anyone working in the medical field who knows I'm a sham. But this is a series about smooching a vampire, so we gotta suspend our disbelief somewhere! There's no smut in this chapter, and for that, I apologize, but it'll make sense why it doesn't. If it helps, my beta says that this is her favorite chapter to date! Woo! Please enjoy. (Thank you to my beta @kermitwazowski for reading! - Also! She just got married! And a tiktok from it went viral! We love her, she's the best.) As a reminder, last time, you and Astarion had a little romp in the river while watching the sunrise.
Taglist: Moved to the comment section, since tumblr hates sharing fun with friends - please let me know if you'd like to be added to the list!
Barring a few dirty looks from Shadowheart and Laeâzel, your return to camp with Astarion - both of you now vaguely damp - was largely ignored in favor of packing up camp in preparation for venturing into the Underdark. So long as you were both there to help with the pack up efforts, it didnât really matter where the two of you had spent your morning.Â
Astarion squeezed your hand fondly before sauntering over to his tent to loiter and drag his feet until the camp was mostly all packed away. You knew his game; look busy without actually lifting a finger until it was absolutely necessary. You rolled your eyes before bending to gather and organize the loot in your tent. He was so annoying.
Gods, you hated him.
And you loved him.
Why, of all people, did you have to fall in love with the emotionally stunted, incredibly dramatic, freak weirdo vampire? Wyll was perfectly nice! Shadowheart had a good head on her shoulders! And yetâŠ
Your eyes flicked over to his tent momentarily.Â
He wasnât even trying. He was fully looking at his nails. He looked up briefly and met your eye. He smirked before moving his hand to wave at you delicately with his fingertips.Â
âPack,â you called to him from across camp.
âWhat?â He cupped a hand to his ear as if he couldnât hear you from the relatively short distance away. âYouâll have to speak up, darling! Or, better yet-â
He left his tent and made his way over to yours.
âOooh, no,â you scolded and pointed towards his tent. âGet back over there and pack, you jackass.â
âOuch, love,â Astarion squatted beside you. He looked around your tent at the trinkets youâd accumulated and picked one up, rotating it in his hands. A tiny statue of a mermaid, her face sculpted in midsong. âHeavy little bugger,â he said, testing its weight in his hands.
âItâs made of iron, I think,â you said.Â
âAnd youâre going to make us lug it into the Underdark? Rather selfish of you, donât you think?â
You snatched the figure out of his hands. âCan I help you with something, Astarion?â
He spread out his legs and leaned back against a chest you kept close-by. âNot particularly.â He rested his arms behind his head, very clearly trying to flex his arms to keep your attention on him.
You laughed and pushed him, making him fall sideways. âStop trying to distract me and go pack your own stuff up. I will not help you when youâre inevitably scrambling later.â
âYes, you will,â he said, using your shoulder to help himself stand up. He squeezed it once before heading back in the direction of his tent.Â
âNo, I wonât!â you called after him, but he turned and cupped his hand to his ear again, pretending he couldnât hear you. You groaned loudly and continued packing.Â
âHate to say it, Soldier,â said Karlach, whose tent was set up between yours and Astarionâs, âbut you probably will help him.â
You sighed heavily. âI know.â
~~~~~
It hadnât been as bad as you thought.
Youâd had the foresight to keep your belongings relatively close together, making use of the travelerâs chest you all shared. Once youâd gathered all your possessions and dismantled your tent, you placed everything you couldnât carry on your person into the chest. Karlach had helped Halsin lift the trunk, full to the brim with everyoneâs overflow, into an ox wagon that you all planned on taking with you to the ruined goblin camp and down into the Underdark below. Even Astarion had managed to gather most of his things before inevitably earning your help with a bat of his eyes.
It had taken maybe two hours total, but looking around the area that you had called home for the last few weeks, it was as if your party had never been there to begin with. It was a little sad to be leaving, but you were pleased with the progress you all had made and were ready to keep moving forward in order to get these damn worms out of your skulls.
The trek into the Underdark, meanwhile, was long and frustrating; Gale had to cast Feather Fall on half of your team, the ox cart, and Scratch and the Owlbear cub, while the other half of you used the deceptively long ladder down into the abandoned Selunite outpost below - much to Shadowheartâs dismay.Â
Much to Astarionâs dismay, youâd actually stumbled upon a colony of Miconids after bumbling through a battle with a pair of minotaurs and looking for a place to rest. It was there that you spoke with the head of their colony, Sovereign Spaw, about eliminating a clan of Duergar dwarves threatening their population.
Which was how you now found yourself smugly walking beside Astarion as Gale and Shadowheart led the way towards the supposed Duergar hideout. The rest of your party had (begrudgingly, in the case of Laeâzel) agreed to help Halsin set up camp close to the Miconids and their beautiful glowing mushrooms, and had stayed behind.
âYou must wipe that stupid expression off your face, darling,â Astarion rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. âOtherwise you might get stuck like that.â
âI told you they were real.â You waggled your eyebrows in victory.
âAnd their music was far less irritating than yours,â he teased. âSo I suppose that was nice.â
âBastard,â you muttered. âIâd love to play something with them when we get back.â
âYou would.â
âAss hat.â
âLoud mouth.â
âWould you two shut it?â Gale turned and quietly shouted. âWeâre swiftly approaching the Duergar clan, according to Sovereign Spawâs directions.â
âI still think we should have rested for the evening,â Astarion complained. âA specimen such as myself requires copious amounts of beauty sleep.â
You withheld a yawn, willing the vampire not to see it. You were still tired from your lack of sleep this morning, and your romp in the river. Not to mention the hike to get down here, and the minotaurs youâd already faced. You were able to get a short rest in at the colony, but you were definitely feeling it, and you didnât want to worry your teammates. Plus you knew Astarion would never let you hear the end of it, given his protests about it earlier today.
âEnough, Astarion,â Shadowheart groaned. âYou heard Spaw; the Duergar are a looming threat to their colony. We couldnât risk a possible ambush in the night. Especially with all the refugees seeking shelter there.â
Astarion sighed. âAnd, I suppose I must admit, I like the sovereignâs approach. A little genocidal, but effective.â
âYes, great, youâll get your fill of blood, now would you hush!â Gale halted, causing the rest of you to stop, too. âSomethingâs wrong.â
You surveyed your surroundings. Wooden structures stood decaying all around, from bridges, to long forgotten buildings, and nets once used for ladders. It had probably been home to a village of people at one time.
âLooks abandoned,â you supplied.
Off in the distance you could make out a lake through some fog. Boats rocked gently against a worn looking dock, illuminated by purple crystals that populated the area. That must be the lake that Spaw had described. But wait⊠were those-? Lit torches?
You were about to take a step forward to investigate further, but Astarion held out an arm to block you.Â
âI smell a trap,â he warned.
Suddenly an arrow shot past your ear and landed in a wooden post behind you.
âThatâs quite a sense of smell you have,â Gale quipped, prepping a spell in his hands. âThink you could sniff out where that arrow came from?â
Your eyes frantically searched the area but couldnât make anything out.Â
âDuck!â Shadowheart shouted, as a flaming arrow seemed to appear out of thin air and hurdle towards your party.Â
You hit the deck, lifting your head ever so slightly in the direction where the arrow came flying from. A figure appeared out of nowhere as you watched, taking a step to the side to hide behind a wall. That explained it.
âOur attackers are using an Invisibility spell,â you said quietly. âIf we can get them to attack us, we can break the spell and see them clearly before they have the chance to cast it again.â
âSounds fairly dangerous,â Gale muttered, holding a hand to his chin in thought.
âDo you have any better ideas?â Shadowheart whispered, pulling her shield and morning star off of her back.Â
âNot really,â Gale said after thinking for a moment.Â
Astarion, meanwhile, had already unsheathed his daggers. âLetâs spill some blood.â A wicked grin graced his features.Â
âLetâs think about this for a second,â you said, holding out an arm to block him from getting up and feeling him deflate. You peered around the large rock that you and your companions had ducked behind. Platforms were littered throughout the decrepit village, perfect for you all to spread out. Quietly, you removed your lute and your backpack.Â
âNowâs not really the time to serenade us with a sappy love song, dearest,â Astarion said, his eyes on your loose lute that heâd recently gifted you.Â
âShut up, and take this,â you said, handing him a scroll of Misty Step that you pulled out of your bag. You handed one to Shadowheart as well. âGale, how are you doing on magic?â
Gale flexed his hands, the purple of the Weave sparking at his fingertips. âGood enough to take out a few dwarves, Iâd say. But I have my crossbow if necessary.â
You nodded and turned to Shadowheart. âYou?â
She nodded back at you. âI should have enough for some healing if anyone needs it, but Iâll stick to cantrips if I can.â
You nodded again, thinking deeply. âOkay, our magic is running kind of low, so we have to be smart about this.â
Astarion cleared his throat. âArenât you going to ask me about my magic, darling?â
Shadowheart laughed humorlessly. âOh, please. As if you wonât rely entirely on those knives of yours.â
He scoffed. âIâll have you know, Iâm also very skilled with a bow.â
You sighed. âIâm sorry we couldnât rest more before we had to do this.â
âThe life of a hero is not an easy one,â Gale pointed out. âOne cannot always put their feet up by the hearth when lives are at stake.â
âSpeak for yourself,â Astarion rolled his eyes.Â
âWhatâs the plan?â Shadowheart asked you. âWe might want to hurry, given they know our location and we donât know theirs.â
âI was thinking we all cast Misty Step,â you turned back around to look over the boulder and pointed to the various empty structures, âand land on those platforms.â
âAh, the high ground! Very logical,â Gale nodded in approval.
âBut do we want to be out in the open? Theyâll shoot at us and we wonât have any cover.â Shadowheart raised a good point.
âIâll cause a distraction,â you said, âno worries.â
Astarion clicked his tongue. âI hate the sound of that.â
âWhat do you mean?! Iâm great at distractions!â
Rather than responding, Astarion hummed skeptically. Then he leaned forward to kiss you sweetly. âIâm going to go kill some dwarves now.â With that, he unfurled the scroll, recited âinveniam viam,â and you watched as he disappeared and reappeared on a platform hidden in darkness. You lost sight of him as he vanished into the shadows and turned back to face Gale and Shadowheart.
âBe smart with your magic, and be safe.â Both of them nodded wordlessly at you and prepared to cast Misty Step. You picked up your lute and stood up straight. âSee you on the other side,â you winked and started descending down a hill towards your hidden enemies.Â
Strumming a quiet tune, you created a Minor Illusion around yourself to look like a traveling musician, rather than an armored spellcaster. You slung your lute back around onto your back.Â
âSorry!â you called, holding your hands up above your head as if in surrender. You spotted an armored dwarf on a wooden walkway up ahead, currently visible, and walked towards him. âSo sorry!â
âWhat?â The dwarf looked surprised by your unarmed approach. âGehk! Got someone sneaking up on us!â
âNo!â you assured. âMy band mates and I,â you pointed your thumb over your shoulder towards the area where youâd been spotted with your companions, âwe got a little turned around. See, we thought there might be a secluded place down here to practice for our upcoming gig, and well, we didnât know you were already here, and-â
âToo loud, sun-scum,â came a voice from above you. You looked up to see another Duergar on a platform overhead. He wore an amulet of the Absolute and had a large battle axe strapped to his back. âCould hear you and your mates stumbling. Can hear you blinking.âÂ
âThat seems unlikely,â you muttered. Your eyes wandered around, pretending to look for more dwarves in the area, but really checking to make sure your companions were in position.Â
âNoise gets you eaten down here,â the dwarf with the amulet went on. âReckon Iâll hush you before something hungry comes along.âÂ
âYouâd hurt an unarmed musician?â You held your hands up higher.
The dwarf above you barked out a laugh. ïżœïżœNice try, bard.â He spat the word. âSaw you lot from a mile away. Your little disguise is pitiful.â
Something seemed off. You felt a chill run down your spine as something brushed against you. The illusion of your plain clothes fell away, revealing your armor. You had a feeling your invisible foes had you surrounded.Â
âNow,â said the dwarf, âwhere are your little friends hiding?â
You laughed. âI was just going to ask! Why would you all surround me when my little friends are over there?â You nodded your head towards one of the platforms.
The dwarfâs eyes widened as he spotted Shadowheart, whose hands were poised with a Firebolt spell. âTheyâre up there!â Before the dwarf could point, an arrow pierced through his shoulder from behind, knocking him forward off the platform. You sidestepped his falling body and made eye contact with Astarion who smirked down at you.Â
âAttack!â The first dwarf you spoke to shouted, and all hell broke loose.Â
Light surrounded you as Shadowheart cast Bless, and you were able to out-maneuver the dwarf whoâd yelled as the light momentarily blinded him. Arrows flew towards Astarion, whoâd been the first to shoot, and with those arrows, multiple dwarvesâ Invisibility spells broke. Astarion was able to easily dodge and avoid the onslaught of attacks, thanks to the advantage of being on higher ground. You grabbed your lute and cast Shatter, causing the dwarves around you to fly backwards in a wave of thunder. Gale launched fiery arrows at your foes, and Shadowheart summoned a Spiritual Weapon to fight for you all on the ground below.
âYouâre here because of those rotflowers, arenât you?â The dwarf with the Absolute pendant got to his feet and pulled the arrow out of his shoulder. âYou reek of justice and good deeds.â
âFunny,â you said, using the pommel of your rapier to push a now visible dwarf off the platform you were on, âand I just took a bath this morning.â
âWould you classify that as a bath?â Astarion called down to you, mischief in his eyes.
You smiled, but could already feel yourself starting to lose steam, even though the battle had just started. Still, you pressed on and cast another Shatter, scattering your enemies further and buying you some time to catch your breath. âAnd what would you classify it as?â
âI can think of many things, but weâre in such polite company, I shanât say.â He shot a flaming arrow down onto the beach and hit multiple dwarves at once in the explosion.Â
âI donât like whateverâs happening here,â the dwarf with the Absolute amulet said. âBut Iâll make you pay for siding with those mushroom abominations.â The dwarf raised his hands and uttered a spell you didn't recognize, but a cacophony of noise from below caught your attention. The lapse in focus cost you, as one of the dwarves youâd been fending off pushed you off the platform.
You heard your companions yell your name as you landed hard in the sand below. It took you a second to regain your bearings before you realized what the sound had been. Fallen Duergar were now rising, life not returning to their eyes, but risen all the same.
Animate Dead.Â
Youâd heard of this spell; had seen it in action with Mayrinaâs husband, Connor. But you had yet to see it used in battle.Â
Now you were surrounded by undead dwarves, hell bent on tearing you apart.Â
âHi,â was all you could manage through the spinning of your head. You blinked a few times before blocking the heavy strike of an axe with your slim rapier. When it was clear that the axe was going to prevail, you rolled out of the way and the axe connected with the sand that had been beneath your head.Â
âAre you alright?â Shadowheart called after hitting you with a Healing Word.Â
You squared your shoulders and entered into a fighting stance. âBetter now, thanks!â While it was true, you were still exhausted and could feel your magic actively getting weaker. Youâd have to remind yourself to get a sturdier sword after this battle. You heard a clang as Shadowheartâs Spiritual Weapon was destroyed by a few zombies that now turned their attention on you.
âHardly the place, darling,â Astarion called, downing one of the zombies in front of you with an arrow of ice. âDying down here? Embarrassing.â
âStop talking and help her kill the bloody things!â Gale yelled, still slinging spells and arrows at the dwarves from up on the platforms.Â
The undead kept rushing at you, and you were able to keep them at bay with brandishes of your rapier and weaker casts of Thunderwave, but it was getting harder and harder to fight back. Meanwhile, living dwarves had made it to the other platforms and started climbing up to your companions. Astarionâs help began to dwindle as his attention was split between you and the dwarves he had to face head on with his daggers. You could hear less and less of Galeâs magic as he opted fully for his crossbow, especially now with dwarves attempting to climb up to him. Shadowheart was facing the same obstacles, instead swinging her morningstar and shoving her shield to throw dwarves from the platform.Â
âGuys,â you said, not as loudly as you would have hoped. There was too much going on. Even if you did manage to raise your voice, it would be hard to hear you over the sounds of fire arrows and spells.Â
âGuys,â you tried again but to no avail. You cast a small Cure Wounds on yourself, but instantly regretted it. You could have saved that spell for an offensive attack, and now you felt yourself completely depleted of magic, despite trying your best to use it sparingly. Which was difficult when you were surrounded by enemies and your companions were occupied with their own battles. You were just one person. This was too much.
The undead dwarves still standing were backing you up against a cluster of boulders in the center of the beach.Â
This was okay. You were fine! Youâd been in tough spots before and you and your team had always come out on top. You could do this. Undead dwarves? Pah! What kind of lethal damage could someone with dead muscle inflict, right? Sure, Astarion was undead and he was a vicious killer, but that was Astarion, and these dwarves had just been resurrected. They were just getting their sea legs! LifeâŠ. legs? It didnât matter. They probably couldnât even think for themselves. You could handle this.
With a boost of confidence from your mental pep talk, you surged forward, away from the center of the beach, and stabbed a zombie through the chest. The visceral sound of metal entering flesh was loud and oddly satisfying.
âAh ha!â you shouted as the zombie slumped to the ground.Â
But the stab had been louder than your slim blade should have been able to muster. You pulled the blade out of the slumped zombie to inspect, but upon looking down, you saw silver glinting with red through your midsection.Â
Another zombie had come up behind you and cleaved you with his axe. The head of it peaked out through your stomach.
You heard your name roared from somewhere up above.
The metallic taste of your own blood rushed into your mouth as your vision started to blur. You fell to your knees.
âGuys,â you said one more time.
Then everything went black.
~~~~~
In another life, Astarion would have made a decent barbarian.Â
Despite Karlachâs cheerful demeanor, for the most part, barbarians were known to be violent, brutal, and cruel. All things that Astarion could easily tap into if the situation called for it.
And right now, he was entering a rage.
Red.Â
That was all he saw.Â
Red, and the corpses of the dwarves who dared cross his path on his way down to you.
He hadnât witnessed it.
Had been too caught up in his own hacking and slashing to see the moment when the axe had made its way through your torso. But he had smelled it. Instantly, he had recognized the sweet notes of your blood entering the air. Thatâs when heâd looked down and saw the state of you. Heâd screamed your name, far louder than any of the magic and explosions that were still triggering in the fight.Â
Shadowheart and Galeâs heads snapped down to look at you, terror in their eyes. And yet they still had to fight. The zombies surrounding your unconscious form began to move away from you and up towards them instead.Â
Astarion downed dwarves left and right, going overboard in his violence on the warpath to get you into his arms.Â
âShadowheart!â he yelled, as if she wasnât already aware of the situation.
âI know!â she shouted back. âI can try a Healing Word but my magicâs nearly spent!â
âDo it! NOW!â Astarion bellowed as he sliced through the abdomen of a dwarf preparing to fire a spell. He heard a chant of âte curo,â followed by the aqua magic that usually came with a healing spell, but you remained motionless in the sand.Â
âThe wound is too deep and my magic isnât strong enough!â Shadowheart slung her morning star into the head of a Duergar that had successfully climbed up to her platform.Â
Gale looked over to Shadowheart and the two shared a brief, silent conversation before Gale nodded and Misty Stepped down to you.
âDonât you touch her, wizard!â Astarion yelled as he fought his way through what once must have been a house of some kind. âUnless you can bring her back up!â His daggers stabbed through the Duergar with the Absolute amulet; the one whoâd raised those dead in the first place. Astarion made sure his death was extra painful with each twist of his knives.
âBe reasonable, Astarion!â Gale yelled back and shot an arrow at one of the zombies still slinking across the beach. He bent and attempted to get you to swallow some healing potion. Youâd already lost a lot of blood.
âSheâs DYING!â Astarion bellowed before jumping down, out of the house, and down onto the beach. He made a sound of pain as he landed, but stumbled as quickly as he could over to you on his hands and knees.Â
Before he reached you, however, he spotted an unarmed zombie halfway up a ladder. That must have been the vile creature whose blade was still lodged in you. He made a beeline for the abomination and pulled it down with enough force to rip the rope that made up the ladder it was climbing. His blades were entering the zombie repeatedly before he even realized heâd pinned it to the ground. It stopped moving fairly soon after its first stab wound, but Astarion wouldnât let up.
âItâs dead, Astarion!â Gale said, trying to bring him back to reality. âTruly dead!â
Astarion finally stopped and breathed heavily. He abandoned the corpse and made his way over to you, sinking to his knees.
âYouâre okay,â he cooed. âHelp is here.â He gently pulled you into his lap, careful not to touch the axe head. âIâve got you.â
âSheâs still alive,â Gale confirmed. âI gave her some healing potion and checked her pulse.â
Astarion wasnât listening. He rocked back and forth, wiping matted hair out of your face. âDarling,â he said quietly, âyouâre too pretty to die. And look at all the precious blood youâve wasted.â You shifted a little and he paused.Â
Your eyes opened briefly. When you realized it was Astarion looking down at you, you smiled.Â
âHi,â you said weakly.
Astarion laughed, but it was a choked, mangled thing. âHello, my love.â
âThat hurt,â you said, smiling blearily until your eyes closed again. He brought his forehead lightly to yours.
Gale touched his shoulder. âTake her to Halsin. Heâll be able to help more than any of us at the moment.â
Astarion wanted to argue, but knew that Gale was probably right. Annoying bastard.Â
âHelp me, would you?â He made to stand up and Gale moved to help guide you gently into Astrionâs arms as he stood. The axe rested uncomfortably between the two of you, but Astarion knew better than to try and pull it out without the proper healing implements nearby to stop the bleeding.Â
âWeâll be fine here,â Gale said, shooting another arrow at a dwarf on his way to Shadowheart. âYou cleared most of the sorry mongrels just now, anyway.â
âI donât recall asking,â Astarion snapped, readjusting how he was holding you.Â
âOnly trying to help,â Gale said sharply. âNone of us want to see her suffer.â
Astarion sighed. âI know,â he admitted.
Gale placed a hand on his shoulder again. âProprae,â he said, and warm magic surrounded Astarion. âLongstrider,â Gale explained. âItâll get you to Halsin faster. Now go.â
Astarion nodded and took off back towards the Myconid colony.
âYou just had to play hero, didnât you?â He didnât look down at you as he sidestepped purple crystals and wayward wooden planks. âCouldnât stay back for once and let someone else handle it.â
You coughed a little and peered up at him. âI do it for the glory,â you wheezed with a joking smile.
Astarionâs eyes flicked to you for a second. âThere are better ways to get attention, darling.â He smiled despite himself. âNow stop talking, please. Save that strength.â
Rather than argue further, you closed your eyes again and nuzzled your face into his neck. You were so tired. And cold. Numbness had overtaken your body except for a dull ache in your midsection. You didnât even realize when you slipped away again.
Astarion felt you go slightly more limp and swore, dodging exploding mushrooms and trying to remember the way back to the Myconids.Â
âDonât you dare leave me,â he growled. âNot now. Not you.â He refused to shed a tear. Youâd be okay, and then heâd have words with you about your pesky bleeding heart.Â
Speaking of bleeding, he didnât like how easily he could smell your blood. Usually heâd be thrilled to be surrounded by such an intoxicating aroma, but right now it was making him sick to his stomach.Â
âDo you know how selfish you are?â he asked, knowing you wouldnât respond. âWasting all this blood. Some of us need a proper meal.â
He hated your silence. Hated that you werenât strong enough to tell him he could feed from you if he wanted because of course you would. Or maybe youâd come up with some sort of jab about him being selfish for thinking about food at a time like this. He missed your voice.
âHow dare you scare me like this, you stubborn clod.âÂ
In the distance, he saw the glowing mushrooms of the colony. He ducked his head and willed himself to run even faster.Â
âWhere are they?!â Astarion shouted to a mushroom sentry at the entrance. The Myconid remained stoic, but flashed a somber song through Astarionâs mind. âNot helpful!â he shouted as he ran up the steps.
There! That halfling woman whoâd asked you all to find her bumbling husband.
âYou!â he yelled, his eyes wild. âThe group I was traveling with! Where did they go?!â
The halfling woman fumbled for words, shocked at the bloody sight of you before her.
âTell me!â he exclaimed.
âI believe they found a clearing not far off. The druid came by earlier to swap herbs.â
Astarion didnât respond before booking it again, the Myconids singing a mournful ballad to him as he passed them.Â
âHALSIN!â he screamed when he left through the other entrance of the colony. âWYLL! KARLACH! LAEâZEL! YOU BLASTED WHELPS, WHERE ARE YOU?!â He kept running, following along a path of glowing mushrooms.
âAstarion?â It was Wyll.
âWHERE ARE YOU?!â Astarion repeated, recalibrating to run towards the sound of his voice.
âOVER HERE!â Karlach shouted, and Astarion saw Scratch appear from around a corner a short distance away, followed closely by Karlach. Wyll and Laeâzel caught up behind them.
âDear gods,â Wyll murmured before running into camp and creating a space for you.Â
âIâll get Halsin!â Karlach turned and ran.
âKaincha,â Laeâzel breathed as Astarion passed her.
âLay her here,â Wyll said, having prepped a bedroll next to the fire.
âLike hells is she going on the bloody ground,â Astarion hissed, looking around for something more comfortable. âGrab my pillows,â he nodded from Wyll to the ox cart.Â
Wyll nodded and ran to the cart before coming back and beginning to fashion a makeshift mattress.Â
Laeâzel looked around for Gale and Shadowheart. âWhere are the others?â
âDamned Duergars. Theyâre in a rotting village by the lake southwest of here.â
âI shall avenge our fallen,â she nodded before running to her tent, grabbing her greatsword and taking off in the direction Astarion had come in from.Â
âSheâs not dead yet,â Astarion muttered as Halsin and Karlach entered the space frantically. âThere you are!â He addressed Halsin icily. He had yet to put you down.Â
Halsin ignored Astarion in favor of approaching you and assessing the damage. He held multiple bowls and jars of unknown substances, and his face gave nothing away. âBring her this way,â he said, motioning for Astarion to follow him. Halsin led him to a giant mushroom cap. âLay her down here.â He set down the materials he was holding nearby.
âOn a damn mushroom? You must be joking.â Astarion held you tighter.
âAstarion,â Halsin said gently, âIâm going to help her. You have to trust me.â
Astarion narrowed his eyes and reassessed the mushroom. It did look soft, and big enough for your whole body to spread out on. He looked at Halsin again who remained calm and collected. Astarion nodded.
Halsin nodded back and helped him untangle you from his arms. âWeâre going to lay her on her side,â he instructed, and Astarion did his best to roll you gently onto the mushroom cap.Â
âHow can we help?â Wyll asked, making Astarion jump. Heâd forgotten about anyone outside of his current line of sight.Â
âFetch my pack, if you would, Wyll,â Halsin said.Â
Wyll nodded and ran towards Halsinâs tent on the other side of camp.Â
âAnd me?â Karlach asked.Â
âCan you heat up some water?â
âYou got it,â she said before rushing to grab a bucket.
Halsin held out his hand, golden magic emitting from his palm. He closed his eyes and hovered his hand up and down your body.
âWell?â Astarion asked impatiently.Â
Halsin opened his eyes and Astarion caught a flash of panic in them.
No.
âWe need to get this axe out as soon as possible,â Halsin explained. âSheâs going to lose more blood, but you were right to leave it in on the battlefield.â
It was then that Wyll came back, lugging Halsinâs backpack, along with other supplies he deemed might be useful.
âSo get it out and heal her!â Astarion exclaimed.
âIâll do my best, Astarion, but youâll have to be patient.âÂ
âWhereâs Withers?â Astarion looked around but caught no glimpse of the skeleton.
âHe said heâd find us once weâre settled,â Wyll reminded him kindly.Â
âIf we lose her and he canât bring her back, Iâm ending him.â Astarion knew how unlikely it was that heâd be able to kill someone who brought people back from the dead for a living (why Withers needed a living in the first place was still a mystery), but he needed someone to threaten. He was terrified.Â
âAstarion,â Halsin said, âIâll need you to help me remove her clothes. Wyll, can you prepare some bandages?â
Wyll nodded and began to gather materials from Halsinâs bag.Â
Astarion hesitated before unsheathing his daggers to help cut the leather armor off of your body. Halsin helped maneuver your limbs out of it until you were left in what once was a white shirt, now a deep red around your midsection.
âHer shirt as well,â Halsin said. âYour skill with a knife is far more refined than mine.â
Astarion frowned, knowing youâd probably hate being shirtless in front of everyone, but shook off the thought in favor of helping Halsin heal you. He quickly and carefully cut your shirt away from your body, depositing it on another mushroom nearby, and leaving you in nothing but your undergarments. The gash in your back was brutal, and rather than stare at it, Astarion took your hand. It was growing cold, but he could sense your blood still pumping beneath your skin.Â
âSheâs so weak,â he murmured.Â
âSheâs a fighter,â Halsin put a hand on Astarionâs shoulder before moving to mix some sort of elixir he had in one of the bowls heâd brought over. âMy magic isnât strong enough to heal her all by itself, not completely, but Oak Father willing, sheâll make it through this.â
âShe better,â Astarion growled, still holding your hand, squeezing it harder than he knew he should.Â
Halsin smiled faintly, then moved around to your head. He tipped your head back and made you swallow the contents of the bowl heâd just been mixing.
âAnd what-â
âThat should keep her from waking up right away.â Halsin came back to stand behind you and examined the state of the axe.
âSo, she wonât feel any pain?â Astarion asked.
âShe shouldnât.â
âOkay,â was all Astarion could manage to say, hoping that was enough to convey his gratitude to the druid.
Halsin nodded and motioned for Astarion to hold you in place. âWyll, can you help with this?â
âOf course,â Wyll moved around the mushroom to hold you from the other side.Â
âIâm going to remove the axe,â Halsin said. âSheâs going to bleed more, but I should be able to stop it with what Iâve brought with me.â
âEnough talking,â Astarion held you tight. âGet to the healing part already!â
Halsin frowned, but nodded. âSteady now,â he said, placing his hands on the wooden handle of the axe. âReady?â
âYes!â Astarion snapped.
Halsin let out a calming breath before pulling on the axe. Everyone held their breath to make sure you didnât cry out in pain. When you didnât, Halsin continued, taking the blade out in one smooth motion.Â
As heâd said, you began bleeding more profusely and Astarion let out a pathetic whining sound. Halsin immediately held out his hands, aqua healing magic surrounding you from both sides. Astarion couldnât look away as your skin knit itself back together, a clear scar forming in its wake.
The aqua magic faded and Halsin instantly dipped his hand in some sort of salve and began rubbing it along your back.Â
âWyll,â Halsin said, handing him a bowl with an identical salve. âPlease cover the wound on her stomach with this.â
âIâll do it,â Astarion said, moving around the mushroom to your front. Wyll handed him the salve and he went to work spreading a generous amount along your stomach.Â
âSorry,â said Karlach, running up with a steaming bucket of water. âI was looking for where we packed all our towels.â She held up a few. âI found them.âÂ
âThank you, Karlach,â Halsin said. âWe can start cleaning the area around her wounds.â
Karlach bounced on her feet. âUm⊠Iâll incinerate her if I try to help with that.â
âI know what you can do,â Astarion said flatly, focusing deeply on globbing enough salve onto your stomach. He lifted his head and nodded towards the axe on the ground behind Halsin. âYou can destroy that wretched blade.â
Karlach smiled and cracked her knuckles. âIâll make it wish it was never fucking born.â
âBlades arenât born, Karlach,â Wyll said, wiping blood away from your skin with the warm water she provided.
âAnd yet, this one will die a fiery death,â she smirked, flaring her flames menacingly. She took off, presumably to be as hot as she pleased without endangering others.
âCan one of you help me sit her upright?â Halsin addressed the two men still tending to you.
âSure,â Astarion said, noticeably calmer now that you werenât actively bleeding. âHow are her, um⊠her innards?â
Halsin smiled. âIf youâre referring to internal bleeding, the potion I gave her and the spell I cast should be enough to have stopped it. But sheâs still very fragile. Iâd imagine it will take her some time to fully recover.â He once again held out his hand and cast a golden spell from his palm like he had earlier. âYes, the internal bleeding has stopped. Though Iâd suggest not giving into any carnal desires until sheâs completely healed.â
âCarnal- I donât want to have sex with her like this!â Astarion looked offended. âWho do you take me for?â
Halsin chuckled. âI didnât think you would, but it still needed to be said.â
âOf all the-â Astarion narrowed his eyes but didnât finish the thought. âYou needed help getting her upright?âÂ
âYes, sheâll need to be bandaged up. Itâs possible sheâll bleed again depending on her movements in her sleep and various other factors, but sheâll also need to keep reapplying fresh salves to prevent infection and minimize scarring.â
Astarion nodded as Wyll finished washing away most of the blood on your back.Â
âLetâs lie her on her back first,â Halsin said.Â
Astarion and Wyll helped to gently roll you onto your back, and Halsin helped sit you up straight. Astarion came up quickly to place a gentle hand on your chest and another on your back to keep you upright as Halsin began to wrap bandages around your torso.Â
Though your head was tipped forward in your unconscious state, Astarion whispered encouragements in your ear that Halsin and Wyll politely pretended not to hear.
âYouâre going to be okay, my love. Soon Iâll get to look into your pretty eyes again and hear your lovely voice. Everything is going to be okay.â
~~~~~
Everything is going to be okay.
How could that be true when you were drowning?
Surrounded by inky blackness. Floating through nothingness.
Your limbs were heavy. And more than anything, you were tired. So, so tired.Â
Youâd messed up. Youâd allowed yourself to fight, even though you knew you werenât at your best, just because you didnât want your friends to be upset. Right? They had been people you cared about? And now the last thing you remembered was being curled into someoneâs side as they ran, presumably, to find help.Â
Idiot.
You were an idiot.Â
The person had looked so scared.Â
This was all your fault. You hated being the one to cause a problem. You had to be good. You had to do everything right so no one would have to worry about you.
The person whoâd held you so close and protectively shouldnât have to worry about you.Â
Whoever they were.Â
You vaguely remembered saying something to them, but you couldnât recall what it was or why youâd said it. You faintly remember making them snicker, at least.
Youâre doing so well, darling. Hang in there.
It didnât feel like you were doing so well. And yet the words filled you with comfort. Somewhere, a thousand miles away, you felt someone squeezing your hand.Â
Weâre going to move you now, but weâll be gentle.
That was very kind of them. You were having trouble moving through this darkness.Â
Easy, now.Â
Was it possible to swim towards the voice? It sounded like it might be within reach, even though mere moments ago it had seemed incredibly distant and far-off.
Youâll be much more comfortable here, my love.
Though your head was filled with fog, something in your gut told you to go to the voice. You knew it was familiar, but you couldnât make the connection. With all the strength you could muster, you kicked your legs as hard as you could and pulled yourself along with your arms.Â
Donât worry, my sweet, Iâm not going anywhere.
Thank you, you wanted to say, but you couldnât quite grasp the words.
Try as you might to swim towards the voice, it remained just out of reach, a wall of pain shooting through your abdomen whenever you got too close.Â
Iâm here, you tried to tell the voice. I canât reach you.
Sleep now.
It hurts.
Iâll be here when youâre ready.Â
Please.
~~~~~
Your sleep was fitful. It had taken about an hour before youâd started thrashing unconsciously and moaning in pain.
âSomethingâs wrong,â Astarion called, emerging from your tent.Â
He and the others had moved you onto the makeshift mattress Wyll had created, and built your tent around you, next to Astarionâs. Or what would be Astarionâs; he had yet to set up his space, having spent all his time at camp so far by your side.Â
Shadowheart, Gale, and Laeâzel had arrived at camp about half an hour after Astarion had rushed in with your unconscious form, all three covered in generous amounts of blood and gore. They had immediately asked after the state of you and were pleased to see you bandaged and sleeping soundly.
Now, however, that wasnât the case.
Halsin and Shadowheart were quick to check on you.Â
Shadowheart felt your forehead and frowned. âSheâs burning up.â
âLikely fighting a possible infection,â Halsin hypothesized.
âWell, can anything be done?!â Astarion asked, taking his place next to you again and holding your hand in both of his.Â
Halsin watched him carefully. âActually, your cooling touch may bring her some comfort, Astarion.â He looked to Shadowheart, who nodded slowly.
âShe needs to cool down. Iâll fetch some cold water, but Halsin is correct. You may be exactly what she needs. But donât let that go to your head.â
âOf course Iâm exactly what she needs,â Astarion puffed his chest, âbut itâs nice to hear that thatâs true in more ways than one.â
Shadowheart rolled her eyes before leaving and muttering, âWhy do I even bother?â
Astarion looked to Halsin. âSheâll be okay?â
Halsin smiled softly. âSheâll need water and nutrients to help fight the fever, but with you by her side, I presume sheâll be better in no time.â
âRight then, get out of here,â Astarion said, waving him away and looking slightly embarrassed.Â
Halsin chuckled. âIâll prepare some food for her.â
âYes, go bother someone else with your sappiness.â
Halsin paused in the entrance of your tent. âBeing vulnerable is not a weakness, Astarion. Itâs quite clear how much you love her, and thatâs incredibly-.â
âYou need to leave,â Astarion snapped and dropped your hand, physically shooing a laughing Halsin out of your tent. âBe useful, why donât you?â he called after him coolly as Halsin made his way over to where Gale was preparing tonightâs meal. The vampire closed the flaps of your tent firmly.
Love?
He shook his head. He was worried about you, yes, but that was because he⊠cared about you. More than he cared about anyone else at this freakish camp. And that was⊠fine. It was fine that he cared about you because you cared about him, too. And that was important because caring meant safety and protection.
Which is why heâd been so panicked about finding help for you! Obviously! If you werenât around to protect him, who would? Not Gale, thatâs for sure. No, Astarion was looking out for you for purely selfish reasons.
Right?
You made a tiny sound of discomfort and he was by your side instantly, holding his hand to your forehead, and then pressing both of his palms to your cheeks. He felt your body sag and watched the features of your face relax a little.
âThere, now,â he cooed. âDoesnât that feel better?â
He paused and narrowed his eyes in thought.Â
That was troubling.
He refused to think any deeper on the subject. Instead, he undid all the straps and clasps of his armor, trying to be as quiet as possible as he removed it all, then placed it outside so it wouldnât take up any of your space. Next, he rearranged some extra pillows that Wyll had brought by your tent to make a space where he could lie next to you. Once heâd done that, he removed his undershirt and laid next to you properly.
âCome here, my darling,â he said quietly, snuggling himself into your side. His body jolted reflexively at how hot your torso was, but quickly moved back into position and wrapped his arms around you as gently as he could. Your face scrunched in discomfort for a moment before settling into something akin to peace.
Astarion watched your chest rise and fall quietly, and let out a silent sigh of relief. One of his hands absently fiddled with the ends of your hair. Youâd need a bath at some point. So would he, for that matter. You were both still covered in gore and filth, and some strands of your hair were bound together by enemy blood. Astarion didnât much feel like licking it off of you or tasting their blood in any capacity, unless he could watch the life drain from their eyes as he drank them dry. But heâd hate every minute of it. He found your taste to be his favorite.
His favorite.
So, you were his favorite. Who cared! He knew it! Everyone at camp knew it! It didnât need to be any deeper than that.
He exhaled through his nose. Being vulnerable was a weakness. Any of his siblings would tell you that. Show one shred of fragility towards anything and it would be torn away from you and exploited in any number of violent and cruel ways. He couldnât let that happen to you.
âCan I come in?â Shadowheartâs voice was quiet, but loud enough to shake Astarion from his thoughts.
âYes,â he answered.
She pulled back the flaps of the tent and paused, taking in the scene before her.
âI hope Iâm not interrupting,â she said slowly, entering the tent with a bucket of water and a few clean cloths.Â
âNot at all, Iâm simply taking advantage of this furnace,â Astarion gestured up and down your body. âThe Underdark gets so chilly at night. Who knew?â
âUh huh,â Shadowheart nodded and felt your forehead before dipping a cloth into the water, wringing it out and placing it there. âYou know,â she began, âand I hate saying this-â
âDo go on, then.â
âUgh. I really hate saying this, but⊠sheâs lucky to have you.â
âShadowheart!â Astarion sounded quietly flabbergasted. âDo you mean it? Truly?â He was being overly dramatic and held a hand to his chest.Â
Shadowheart avoided his gaze and dipped another cloth in the water. âI just meanâŠâ She sighed. âI just mean, you make her happy, in your own annoying way. Even before you both started-â
âHolding hands?â Astarion batted his eyelashes.
Shadowheart rolled her eyes, but continued. âI donât need to tell you how lucky you are to have her because I think you know that, but⊠You make her laugh. You encourage her to fight better, you steal lutes for her⊠And⊠you get her to be selfish. Which, while I donât agree with all of your selfish suggestions, does cause her to think of herself every once in a while. Something thatâs quite hard for her, as she so competently displayed for us today when she didnât tell us how tired she truly was.âÂ
âShe was a lost cause before I showed up.â
âBe serious for a moment, would you?â Shadowheart placed another cloth along your neck. âThatâs something you both need to work on; being serious.â She held his gaze. âWe almost lost her out there today. And I donât think youâve thought about what that would mean for you.â
âOf course I have,â Astarion snapped.Â
Shadowheart raised her eyebrows. âOur Lady of Loss teaches that-â
âOh, donât start with that,â Astarion said sharply. âSheâs fine now. Or she will be, assuming you and the druid are correct in your assessment of her condition.â
âPain is a part of life, Astarion.â
âDonât say that to me,â he snapped. âYou know nothing of my pain.â
Shadowheart dabbed another cold cloth across your arm that wasnât currently cradled into Astarionâs torso. âI know that. I didnât mean it like that.â
âThen what did you mean?â He was aware that he was mildly flashing his fangs in warning.
She dabbed some cold water over your shoulders. âDonât be afraid. That's all I mean.â
âAnd what the hells is that supposed to mean?â Astarion narrowed his eyes. âAfraid of what?â
âYou care for her.âÂ
âSo what?âÂ
âYouâre aware of that?â
Astarion trilled his lips in disbelief. âOf course Iâm aware of that.â
âOkay,â she turned her attention to wringing a cloth of excess water.
If his arms werenât currently wrapped around you, Astarion would have pinched the bridge of his nose. âShadowheart, if youâre trying to tell me something, just tell me.â
âYouâre allowed to love her.â
Astarion felt himself recoil away from Shadowheart, but he still held onto you.Â
Shadowheart nodded calmly, searching his eyes. âWe all see it. You havenât known each other for long, but sheâs changing you.â
Astarion gave her a sour expression but didnât say anything to argue.
âSheâs not what you expected, is she?â
âShe-â he hesitated. âSheâs not.â He looked at your slumbering face fondly.Â
âI donât think sheâs what any of us expected.â
Astarion nodded, quiet for a few moments. He was too tired to pretend he was uninterested. âItâs a wonder we all found her,â he brushed a stray hair from your face. âOr, rather, clung to her. And in some cases, attacked her. Or threatened to.â
âIt is,â she laughed softly.Â
âPoor girl.â
Shadowheart smiled. âShe saved me, up on the Nautiloid. She and Laeâzel broke me out of my pod. Though it was mostly her. Actually, it was all her.â
âThatâs typical.â
Shadowheart laughed. âVery typical.â She shifted to face Astarion more directly. âWe donât know each other very well.â
âNo.â
âAnd probably never will.â
âFingers crossed.â
âBut I know that youâre not the same person who held a knife to her throat a few weeks ago.â
âI wouldnât say that.â
âWell, I would.â Shadowheart gave him a piercing look. âA few weeks ago, you would have been fine letting her bleed out on that battlefield. You possibly would have laughed at the brutality of it. Or, you would have written it off as a fine dining experience. But the Astarion Iâm looking at right now was ready to burn the entire world before he saw her suffer today.âÂ
Astarionâs grip on you tightened minutely.
Shadowheart sighed. âI donât like letting others get too close to me either. Partly because that is the way of Lady Shar, and partly because Iâm afraid of forgetting. Or remembering. Iâm not sure which is worse, truthfully.â
âWhat does that-â
âIt doesnât matter. My point is, our leader here makes me want to remember. Remember our times together, her kindness⊠And how she makes me feel.âÂ
âCarefulâŠâ Astarion said slowly, narrowing his eyes but smiling slightly.
âShe might be the only person Iâve ever considered to be a true friend. I think. But I know sheâd do anything for any of us. And I want to remember that.â
âOkay, so commit it to memory?â Astarion was confused about all the talk of remembering. Surely Shadowheartâs memory wasnât that bad.
âIâll try,â she chuckled. Then, after a moment of quiet, she inhaled deeply. âAll of this to say, Astarion,â she looked him in the eye again, âheartbreak is also a part of life. And while weâre lucky sheâs still with us, you shouldnât be afraid to love her. I think you want to live.â
~~~~~
Darkness.
All consuming and quiet.
But at least the pain had stopped.Â
It was rather lonely here. Nothing to do and no one to talk to. Whenever you tried to move, the blackness that surrounded you gave little away as to whether you were actually moving or not. Thereâd been waves of extreme heat, bitter cold, and heavy nausea, and while none of that was particularly thrilling, it was nice to know that you could still feel something in this liminal space of sensory deprivation.
The voice would occasionally interrupt the profound silence to address you.
Come on, my sweet, eat just a little more. I know you can.
What are you dreaming about in there?
Are you going to wake up anytime soon, darling?
You didnât know. No matter what you tried, it didnât seem likely that you were close to leaving this place. And just when it felt like you were finally getting somewhere, the pain would overtake you again and stop you in your tracks.Â
It was exhausting.
You felt someone squeeze your hand distantly.
Brought a book.Â
Your head instinctively turned towards the voice.
Thought I might read to you. Since youâre doing an abhorrent job of entertaining me.
Something about the tone made you want to argue. You try⊠whatever this is! you wanted to say.
Thought this one might be fun. âThe Curse of the Vampyre.â Maybe weâll learn something.
Vampire⊠why did that word send your heart racing?
âHarken close and beware the Vampyr.â Off to a good start. âBeware its cold beauty.â True. âBeware its charm.â True. âBeware its curse.â âŠâŠâŠTrue. Â
Again, you had the overwhelming sensation that you knew this voice. The sense of comfort that washed over you felt all too familiar.
âHow doth one protect from the beast?â When was this written? A pause, as if the voice were investigating. Iâve decided I donât care. The voice cleared its throat. âWalk not in the blackest night, for the Vampyr loves these nights more than any other.â I was rather enjoying my time in the sun, actually. âIf you must walk, do so by the light of our moon and take care.â What kind of advice is that? The moon? The moon and I get on just fine. That wouldnât protect you, darling. âCarry the blessings and marks of your God at all times.â The voice snorted. Yes, because the Gods have cared so much about stopping my acts of debauchery in the past.
Something in the voiceâs airy tone lifted an aching weight from your chest. Yes, you knew this person. You were sure of that. You could listen to them all day. Mindlessly, you drifted closer to where the voice was strongest.
âBut remember, your home is your fortress, if protected well.â Hmm. âIf you hear a knock in the night, be wary. Let no stranger into your home.â As if we make house calls these days. âIf it be a friend, look upon them. Do you find them pallid and wan?â Rude. âSee you any mark upon their neck?â Collars, darling. Though, Iâve found that most people donât pay close enough attention anyway. Especially when youâre distracting them with- Well, you know. The voice exhaled loudly. âSee you any dirt upon their clothes?â Yuck. âUnless their need is great, turn all away but the most trusted.â You trust me, donât you, my dear?
Yes, you tried to say. Of course I trust you.Â
The voice was growing louder. More clear.
Of course you do, the voice said, though you were sure it hadnât heard you. Stupid. âAnd if the Beast finds a way into your home, flee.â Iâd say thatâs good advice, but unfortunately for you, you canât really flee right now. And I donât plan on leaving.
Good. You exhaled, frustrated that you couldnât speak.Â
The hand holding yours tightened mildly.Â
Iâm here, darling.
I know. Thank you.
It took a moment before the voice started speaking again.
âLease love and family behind.âÂ
You felt an indescribable tension as the voice paused once more. Had this passage just said something important? You replayed the phrase in your head.
Family?
Love?
LoveâŠ
Oh.
The voice was quieter when it spoke again.Â
âYou will not save them if you fight. You will not see them again. But they will see you, pale and smiling, calling them into the night.â
Astarion.Â
Of course it was Astarion. How could it be anyone else?
He was here.Â
With you.Â
Just out of reach.
Well, thatâs a rather ominous passage, isnât it?
Astarion! you tried to say. Iâm here!
Shh shh shh, he tutted. Donât strain yourself.
Something you had said or done had gotten through to him.
Astarion! you tried again.
Nothing. You were met with silence.Â
Fuck it. Fuck the pain, fuck this freakish darkness. You pulled yourself towards his voice.Â
Shall I continue reading, darling?
Yes, keep talking. You winced as a flash of pain pulsed through your middle.
Iâm going to skip ahead. I hope you donât mind.
As long as I can still hear your voice. The pain was becoming more consistent and noticeable.
Ah, this sounds rather interesting: âVampiric Duality.â Ahem. âNow look, the thing is: your basic vampire has two instincts, right? Feed and make little vampires.â Immediately, a vastly different tone. Is this even the same book? The voice paused again, presumably to check the cover. I admit, I do love to feed, but Iâm not sure how much this person knows about vampiric biology. Not that Cazador ever allowed us much research into the subjectâŠ
You felt yourself physically recoil at the mention of Cazadorâs name and heard Astarion chuckle.
No, youâre right, darling, I wonât mention him again. He hummed and mumbled under his breath. Blah blah blah⊠âThe personality of a vampire has as many facets as a schizophrenic diamond?â What? I appreciate the comparison to a diamond, obviously, but a schizophrenic one? What does that even mean?
You would have laughed if you werenât actively fighting to get to him. The pain in your torso was almost unbearable, the closer you got to his voice. Tears pricked your eyes, and every part of you hurt like nothing youâd ever experienced before. When the torment started to become white hot and all consuming, you hit what felt like a physical wall.
Ah! Listen to this part, beautiful: âYet who doesn't adore the darkly romantic complexity of the vampire-â
You did. You adored this vampire. Though you were hurting severely, you reached out and punched against the wall that was blocking you.
Astarion! you all but wailed.
â-the gusto of their love-â
Again, you pounded with all your might, screaming out in agony and rage as the pain physically held you back from reaching out and touching him. You still couldnât see him, but you felt his presence. So, so close.
â-the wildness of their passion!â You heard him let out a delighted laugh.Â
Iâm here! you shouted, using both fists to bang against this wall of pure suffering.Â
Oh, my dear, if you were awake, Iâd shower you with the absolute wildness of my passion. You could practically hear his smirk. Iâd demonstrate the gusto of my⊠well. My-
Gathering all the strength you had left, you wound back and threw your entire body against the wall. You squeezed your eyes tight as an overwhelmingly bright light spilled in and your ears began to ring.
You gasped for air, sitting up quickly, and immediately regretted it.
You heard your name said softly in disbelief and a book slamming shut.
âOwâŠâ you whined, clutching at your abdomen and feeling tears roll down your cheeks.
Before you could register what was happening, you felt cool palms on your cheeks and soft lips kissing all over your face. You blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of the situation.Â
âIâm so mad at you,â Astarion said, still kissing your face, his voice filled with nothing but relief.
âWhat⊠happened?â you asked between hiccups of tears.
âLie back down, precious,â he said, gently helping you back onto what seemed to be a pile of pillows and pulling a blanket over you. âYou scared us, is what you did.â He wiped a few stray tears from your cheeks, but they kept flowing. You couldnât stop.Â
âDid I⊠die?â You turned your head to look around. It looked like you were in your tent, your things strewn about somewhat neatly and similar to how it had been at your camp by the lake. A few candles were lit.Â
âNearly,â Astarion confirmed quietly. He looked exhausted. âAn undead Duergar got you with his battle axe.â
âAh,â you said, at a loss for words. âThatâs not good.â
Astarion stared at you. ââThatâs not good?â Thatâs all you have to say?â He held a hand to your forehead briefly. âYour fever is gone, but itâs possible youâve got brain damage.â
You chuckled, knowing he was kidding, but the action caused a searing pain in your stomach. You let out a pathetic whine, reaching for the hurt area, but Astarion caught your wrist.Â
âCareful, darling. Youâve got a pretty severe wound there.â He released you and pulled back the blanket that was draped over you. Upon looking down, you saw that nearly your entire midsection was covered in bandages. A spot of red spread slowly, disrupting the otherwise pristine white of the cotton.
âIt h-urts,â you sniffled, your voice breaking.Â
Astarionâs eyes were full of sympathy. âLooks like sitting up quickly may have opened the wound again.â
âShould I go get Shadowheart?â you asked without really thinking about it.
Astarion snorted. âIf you think youâre strong enough to fetch the cleric, youâre delusional.â
âOh,â was all you could say in agreement. âShould you go get Shadowheart? Or Halsin, maybe?â
He shook his head, turning away from you to rifle through some supplies that were out of your line of sight. âEveryoneâs asleep, my dear.â He sat back up straight and set out a few items next to you: fresh bandages, healing potions, a salve of some sort, and a small bowl of water. âBesides, Iâm perfectly capable of taking care of you myself.â
You almost laughed. âHow long was I out? What happened to you?â
He rolled his eyes. âYou were out for nearly twelve hours, Iâd say. Itâs a little before dawn, I think. Though thereâs no sun to go off of.â
You nodded, not sure how to feel about this information. Twelve hours was a long time. And yet it felt even longer. Like youâd been out for a lifetime.Â
âAs for what happened to me, well, someone I⊠care about⊠nearly died.â He cleared his throat. âIs it so bizarre that I want her to get better?â
You smiled. âI guess not.â
Astarion returned your smile before hooking his arms under yours and helping you sit up. Someone had stacked two chests on top of each other behind the makeshift mattress to act as a headboard, and he helped you scoot back to sit against it.Â
âCareful, my sweet, the axe entered through your back. Letâs try not to lean and put pressure on it, hmm?â
You nodded, wincing when you moved incorrectly. âWhen did you become such a medical professional?â
He was busy prepping the new bandages. âShadowheart showed me how to change the bandages once or twice while you were out, and Halsin provided the salves and potions.â Astarion got up onto his knees and crawled over to you, helping you scoot forward, away from the headboard. âAnd my sister, Dal. She was a doctor, before Cazador. Sheâd help the rest of us every once in a while. Especially when things got particularly brutal.â
âThatâs much cooler than being a magistrate,â you teased, flinching a little in pain.
âI donât know, magistrates can sentence people to death.â He squeezed your arm.
âNo they canât,â you laughed. Then paused. âCan they?â
Astarion shrugged. âCanât remember, honestly.â He leaned forward to reach for where the bandage was tucked into itself on your front. âIâm going to undo this now, okay? Let me know if I hurt you at all.â
You nodded, holding his gaze.
âOh,â he said before turning to grab a healing potion. He handed it to you. âThis should help.â
You took it and downed it as Astarion began to carefully unwrap the bandages. You could feel the unpleasant sting of something having dried beneath the cloth that was now being tugged at as the bandage was unraveling.Â
Astarion was nothing but complete focus as he reached his arms around you and back towards himself, carefully unwrapping you. You watched him the entire time.Â
âI heard you, you know.â
He looked at you, the corner of his lips quirking up. âHeard me what?â
âWhen you were talking to me while I was sleeping.â
He went a little stiff at your words. âWhat exactly did you hear?â
You raised an eyebrow. âI donât know. I heard you reading just now.â
His shoulders dropped in relief. âHorrid creatures, vampires.â
âThe worst,â you agreed.Â
Astarion pulled away the last of the bandage and you looked down, your eyes widening at the huge gash along the right side of your stomach.Â
âAnd weâre sure I didnât die?â you asked, cautiously poking the area around the wound. The healing potion had stopped the bleeding.
Astarion slapped your hand. âStop that.â
âSorry.â
âNo, youâre still here with us. I would have killed Withers if that werenât the case.â
âYou canât-â
âI know. But he would have gotten an earful at least.â Astarion crawled on his knees back over to the supply area that you previously couldnât see. Now you could see that there were a few buckets of water with towels and cloths of various sizes. He dunked his hands into one of the buckets and lathered his hands with soap.Â
âThorough,â you commented.
âYou already fought off one infection,â he explained. âDonât want to risk another.â He finished washing and drying his hands, then made his way back over to you on his knees, careful not to touch anything on his way.
âI had an infection?â you asked, watching as he dipped a cloth in the small bowl of water next to you.Â
âYes,â he said, âor were fighting one off. Like I said earlier, you had a fever, but itâs gone now.â He brought the cloth up to your stomach. âIâm going to clean the wound now. It might hurt.â
You nodded and he began dabbing your skin lightly. He was right, it stung and pierced whenever he hit a particularly raw area and your body jerked despite attempting to stay still. Tears welled up in your eyes again.
âIâm sorry,â Astarion said, reaching up to wipe a tear away.Â
âIâm the one who got cleaved,â you deflected. âItâs my own fault.â
âWhich reminds me,â his face morphed from apologetic to irritated, âwhy didnât you tell us you were so exhausted? Why didnât you tell me?â
âI-â you squeaked at a particularly sharp pain. âI didnât want you all to worry.â
Astarionâs hand paused and he narrowed his eyes at you. âFine load of good that did, dear.â
âIâm sorry,â you looked away from him. âI didnât know how involved the fight was going to be.â
âIt doesnât matter how involved the fight was or wasnât going to be; if you werenât feeling your best, you should have stayed behind and let one of the others take your place.â He sniffed pompously and added, âWould have given me an excuse to relax, too.â There was a sharpness to his words, but his actions remained careful and kind. You gave him a curious look and he rolled his eyes. âOh, like I would go out and fight when I could laze about at camp for once.â He was suddenly very focused on not looking you in the eye.
You smiled. âYou liiiiike me.â
âIâd have spent the entire time on the other side of camp.â
âLiar.âÂ
âThe point is, darling, you have to listen to yourself and what you need. I do it all the time. For myself, I mean.â
âI know you do,â you chuckled.Â
Astarion set down the wet cloth he was using and got a fresh one, before moving behind you to clean the wound on your back.âWhy do you even care what we think?â
âBecause youâre my friends, and I value your opinions?â
âNo, I mean, why arenât we allowed to be worried about you?â
âOh,â you winced and flinched a bit at the cloth pressing against a tender spot on your back. âI donât know. You all have your own problems to worry about. I shouldnât be one of them.â
Astarion tsked. âI might be new to this whole âcaring about someone elseâ thing, but even I know how absurd that is.â
You tried to stay quiet, focusing on not moving to minimize the pricklings of pain shooting through your back. Yet despite your best effort, you still let out a few weak whimpers of discomfort.
Astarion sighed and moved away from you, back to the caché of supplies at the end of your bed. He came up with a steaming bowl of stew and reached across the bed to hand it to you.
âCareful,â he warned.
âHow?â you asked.
âHalsin made soup. Gale knew a spell to keep it warm. This is the result.â He handed you a spoon. âWe were able to get you to eat some while you were unconscious, but Shadowheart said you should eat properly whenever you woke up. I forgot until just now.â
âThank you,â you said gratefully, shoveling some of the stew into your mouth. It was rich and heavy; full of meat and vegetables. Delicious.
Astarion took his place behind you again and went back to cleaning, but not before sighing dramatically. âPlaying nursemaid is so far beneath me. I canât believe youâre making me do this, you wretch.â
You swallowed some broth then said, âI offered to get Shadowheart.â
âNot a chance,â he growled in your ear, leaning around to kiss your cheek. âBut if I ever have to do this again-â
âYouâll kill me?â
âWithout a second thought, my sweet.â
âMmhm,â you hummed through more food. âI think youâre enjoying this, honestly.â
âSeriously? When I could be out killing something? Or drinking from that gorgeous neck of yours? Or thoroughly ruining you? Nice try.â
âAre you hungry?â you asked, suddenly feeling very guilty for not thinking of him.
âThis is what I mean, darling.â He sounded annoyed.
âWhat?â
âYou are very weak at the moment. You lost quite a bit of blood from this wound, and youâre still offering to feed me.âÂ
âBecause I want to help you! I have something you need and I lo-like you so much.â You caught yourself, but not very smoothly.Â
Astarion raised an eyebrow. âFlattered as I am, I know that drinking from you right now could be fatal. And I think you know that, too.â
You shoveled some more stew into your mouth shamefully.
âThatâs all I mean, pet.â Astarion set down the cloth heâd been using to clean your back and moved around so he could look you in the eye again. âYouâre incredible. You always want to help others, which, while I donât personally understand it, is seen as very admirable to some people. But it gets you into trouble, and I donât think you care that it does.â He took your chin in his hand to make you look at him. âBut I care now. And I donât want this to happen again.â
âI canât help it,â you said quietly.Â
Astarion pouted mildly with genuine sympathy and kissed you chastely. âTry.â He pressed his forehead to yours.
âOkay,â you whispered.
âThatâs my girl,â he smiled. âBesides,â his flamboyant cadence returned to make you laugh, âI already drained some poor beastie dry earlier while Shadowheart was changing your bandages.â
âPoor beastie.â
He kissed you again, more deeply this time. âIt meant nothing to me,â he teased and you laughed. âIt was purely for sustenance.â He nosed along your neck to his favorite feeding spot and kissed you there.
âI may never find forgiveness in my heart for this,â you teased back.
Astarionâs eyes went noticeably soft and a small smile tugged at his lips. His hands came up to your cheeks and he kissed you once more, tugging at your bottom lip with his front teeth. You matched his rhythm, moaning softly, and unconsciously rolling your hips, which made you cry out in pain.
âBad idea,â you groaned, tilting your head away from Astarionâs eager kisses.Â
He chuckled and rested his forehead on your temple. âYou know, Halsin actually warned me not to âgive in to any carnal desiresâ until you were fully healed. I told him I wouldnât.â
âAnd yet you did anyway?â you raised an eyebrow with a smile. âYou selfish prick.â
Astarion tsked. âIâm not the needy one rolling my hips, now am I?â
âYou bit my lip!â
âCall it⊠a vampiric sign of affection. Nothing more than that.â
You blew out an annoyed huff, causing a strand of hair in your face to fly upwards.
âI didnât even draw blood,â Astarion said. âYou should be thanking me.â
âOh, thank you,â you rolled your eyes.
âBut of course.â
âI so badly want to strangle you right now.â
Astarion growled from the back of his throat. âOh, how Iâve missed you,â he said, kissing you again, despite your laughing protests.
âWould you please finish with this?â you asked, pushing him back and gesturing the undressed wound on your stomach.Â
He groaned loudly. âIf I must.â
âI can handle the front,â you said, nodding towards a bowl of salve, but not attempting to lean forward and grab it for fear of accidentally hurting yourself further.
Astarion hesitated in giving you the bowl, but quickly gave in. âFine.â
âIâll be careful,â you said.
He nodded once and took his own bowl of salve to spread on your back.Â
The balm was cool and caused you to jump a little when it first made contact with your skin. Astarion paused his work to make sure you were alright.Â
âIâm okay,â you assured. âJust cold.â
âYou get used to it,â he smirked, globbing more cold substance onto your back.
Delicately, you took your own salve and began to apply a generous amount to your stomach.Â
The two of you remained silent, locked in concentration as you administered the medicine to your wounds. It stung mildly, but the cooling effect it had became comforting soon enough.Â
âSoâŠâ you broke the silence after you were satisfied with your work, âwhat did you do while I was⊠out?âÂ
Astarion exhaled through his nose and didnât answer right away. âOh, nothing special. A little of this, a little of that. My world doesnât revolve around you, you know.â
âSad,â you pouted, âbecause while I was unconscious, all I could hear was your voice.â
âCould you, now?â You could hear the grin in his voice. âI was all you could hear?â
âMmhm,â you confirmed. âWhich means you must have spent a lot of time by my side.â You risked a glance over your shoulder and saw Astarionâs hand hovering just above your back, frozen in place.Â
He cleared his throat and continued to apply the salve. âAnd so what if I did?â
âWell, itâs just that thereâs so much else you could have been doing,â you chuckled. âLike killing, or maiming, or drinking, or stabbing-â
You stopped talking when you felt his forehead press against your bare shoulder. He mumbled something against your skin, but you couldnât make it out.
âWhat was that, my love?â
He sighed heavily and pulled back. âI was scared.â
âYou⊠were scared? You?â
âOf course I was scared!â he exclaimed, looking irritated and confused. âI may already be dead, but itâs not your time yet. I would never wish that on you.â
You werenât sure how to process that.Â
Astarion.
Scared, on your behalf.
You knew he cared about you, that was obvious by now, heâd told you as much, but that was a fairly recent development. In the past, heâd only cared enough to save his own skin. Heâd always watched your back, sure, but there were days where you knew heâd only helped you or another companion because it had been convenient for him in some way. Although, you had to admit, since you two had become⊠whatever you were, heâd seemed to take extra precaution when looking out for you. Both in battle and out.
âAstarion,â you said slowly when he returned from behind you to grab the fresh bandages, âwhat happened when the zombies got me?â
He remained quiet, fiddling with the bandages in his hands.Â
âI carried you here.â
âWhere is âhere,â exactly?â you asked.
He shrugged. âNot too far from those horrid singing mushrooms. They were no help.â
Your eyes went wide, knowing how far the journey from the Myconid colony to the decrepit village was, and how he must have traveled further than that to get here. You shook your head, banishing the thought. âHow did you get to me from your platform?â
Astarion came close and unwound the bandages in his hands again, making sure he had the right amount. âI may or may not have⊠gone into a blind rage, killed some dwarves, yelled at Gale⊠It was no big deal.â
âAnd then you⊠carried me.â
âYes.â
âAll the way here.â
âYes.â
âAnd then?â
âAnd then I helped Halsin with healing you. Why does it matter?â
âYouâŠâ You trailed off and allowed Astarion to start wrapping the bandages around your middle. Your eyes were unfocused on something in the distance and your mind was blank; too overwhelmed with thoughts to think anything at all. You shook your head to bring yourself back into the moment with him.
His voice was quiet. âIâve been powerless far too often in my life. Seeing you go down, and not being able to stop it, it⊠broke something in me.â
You watched him carefully.
âIf I was powerless in that situation, and you⊠If Iâd lost you, I donât know what I would have done.â
âItâs a good thing you didnât lose me then,â you said, attempting to lift the mood while focusing on his hands.
He shook his head and paused with the wrapping. âShadowheart said I was ready to burn the world. I think she was right.â
âIâm touched,â you joked again.
âIâm serious, darling.â He picked up where he left off with the bandages.
âYou were that worried about me? Even though you were also surrounded by enemies?â
âOh, believe me, Iâm not pleased about this turn of events. Normally, in a setting like that, Iâd be mostly worried about myself. But lately I seem to somehow be worried about you more.â He hummed as if he were surprised to hear himself say that aloud.Â
You brought a hand up to gently wrap around his forearm as he continued wrapping you up. He met your eye fondly.
âYou give me something to care for. And thatâs worth the peril.â He smiled at you for a moment, then pulled on the bandages to make sure they were tight enough. âIs this alright?â
Try as you might to not let him see, your eyes welled up with tears. âFine, yes.â
âOh gods, donât lie, youâre crying!â He immediately began to loosen the bandages and you started laughing.
âNo, no, dummy,â you wiped a tear and stopped his hands with your own. âI care about you, too.âÂ
âWeâve established that, darling,â but his eyes went soft. âLet me finish this, you sap,â he gestured to your bandages, still not properly secured, and you released his hands. He once again returned to wrapping the wound and pulled the bandages tighter, but not as tight as before. They were firm enough that they wouldnât fall, and you could still breath easily, despite the mild ache that lingered in your stomach. He tucked the end into the top of the wrapping beneath your chest. âThere now, my sweet. All patched up.â He brushed both hands through your hair before resting them gently on your shoulders.
You smiled at him, but something occurred to you upon hearing the affectionate nickname. âIs there a reason you havenât called me âmy loveâ since I woke up?â
Astarion looked taken aback. âErmâŠâ
You were quick to explain: âItâs my favorite. Thatâs why I call you that, too.â
âYour favoriteâŠâ Astarion stared at you blankly for a second and his hands squeezed your shoulders absently.
You could practically see the cogs in his head turning. You brought a hand to cup his cheek. âIf I did something-â
Astarion shook his head. âNo, darling, you did nothing wrong. Other than almost getting yourself killed, I mean. Itâs just that⊠Iâm in the process of coming to terms with how I feel - about you.â
Oh.
Oh.
Heâd thrown âloveâ and âmy loveâ around so casually, practically the entire time youâd known him. Abruptly stopping their use was incredibly unlikely unless it was deliberate.
Did this mean he was starting to rethink those words? And what it meant to say them to you?
Did that mean he⊠loved you?
Your heart started pounding as a million jumbled thoughts entered your mind. It seemed like Astarion noticed the change in your pulse.
âIf that scares you-â
âNo!â You were grinning widely and tried to hide it behind your free hand. âTake all the time you need, my love.â You hoped calling him by your preferred pet name might convey how you felt, but you didnât want to scare him off. You knew better than anyone how new this was to both of you.
âThank you,â he said, taking your hand and kissing the inside of your wrist. âNow lie down, would you? You need more sleep.â
You handed him your now empty bowl of stew. âBut⊠Iâm not tired.â
Astarion gave you a look as if to say really?
âIâm not! Iâve been sleeping all day!â
âAnd for good reason, might I add.â
The two of you stared at each other, willing the other to give in. Astarion rolled his eyes.
âFine,â he said, annoyed. He reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head.
âCarnal desires,â you reminded him in a scolding manner.
âI donât plan on ravishing you right now, dearest,â he said, a bit of bite in his words. âIf youâre not going to sleep, at least lie down with me.â
He moved the medical supplies off of the makeshift bed and blew out a few candles as he awaited your answer.
You nodded, a smile overtaking your features. âIâd like that.â
âIâll be gentle,â he said as he got onto the pile of pillows and placed his knees on either side of your hips. He took your arms and wrapped them around his neck.
âI know,â you said, using him as an anchor to lower yourself onto your back and further into the pillows.
When he was satisfied with your position, Astarion carefully lifted himself from hovering above you and transitioned himself to curl into your side. You stayed on your back so as to not jostle your wound, but turned your head to look at him. He watched you intently, his hands palm-to-palm and resting under his cheek. You ran your hand through his hair.Â
âI couldnât reach you,â you said.
âWhen?â Astarion lifted his head slightly.
âWhen I was sleeping. I could hear you, but I couldnât see you. And it hurt to try and get to you.â
âOh, my darling,â he said, running a hand along your cheek. âIâm here now.â
âI know,â you repeated, warmth overtaking your chest.
âNervous itâll happen again if you sleep?â he asked. When you nodded, he nodded back in understanding. âNightmares are dreadful.â
âAny tips?â
âHmm⊠not really.â
âThanks.â
Astarion laughed softly and reached for your hand. âIâll stay awake with you for as long as you need.â
âYou need your rest, too.â
He clicked his tongue. âIf you think Iâm going out with the others tomorrow, youâre a bigger fool than I thought.â
You exhaled an amused breath and turned your head back up towards the top of your tent to sort through some of your many tangled thoughts.
While it was true that you and Astarion hadnât known each other for very long, it floored you how much of a change you saw in him now versus when youâd first met. Back then, he was cruel, and violent, and prone to laughing at the misfortune of others. Now, he was still all of those things, but there was also this soft side of him that he continued to surprise you with. Heâd actively chosen to stay by your side all day, even though he could have let the others handle your care. He probably would have opted for that option just a few weeks ago. He was also making the choice to stay at camp with you tomorrow, rather than venture out with the rest of your party to be rewarded by the Myconids for your efforts, and possibly spill more blood throughout the Underdark. Knowing how much he loved to spill blood, that was a big deal.Â
Heâd also shown you the most tender affection the first night youâd slept together and every heated encounter since; he was showing he cared in the ways he knew how. He was trying his best (for the most part), and thatâs what mattered to you. Astarion could take all the time he needed to sort out his feelings.
But you knew how you felt.
âSo other than the peril, are you enjoying the Underdark?â
Astarion groaned. âReally?â
âYes.â
He let out a long exhale, the cool air of his breath tickling your neck. âYou know, for all the time I spent lurking in the shadows, Iâve never ventured into the Underdark before.â
âSo youâve told me,â you squeezed his hand.
âHardly a⊠luxurious setting, but it definitely has its upsides for a vampire.âÂ
You nodded, still looking up at the top of your tent.Â
âOr its⊠undersides? Because itâs - you know what I mean.â
You snorted at his feeble attempt at a pun. âBoooo,â you teased and looked over at him.
âIâve been awake for nearly 24 hours, need I remind you.â
âThen trance, idiot.â You poked his nose.
âI said I would stay awake with you.â
âIâll be alright,â you insisted, âthough I appreciate the offer, my love.â
Astarion blinked slowly, his eyes suddenly heavy with sleep. It was as if he were finally allowing himself to relax, now that he was able to hear your voice again. He wore a lopsided grin as his eyes drifted closed.Â
âI really did miss you,â he murmured, his voice soft.
âI missed you, too.â You brought your clasped hands up to your mouth and kissed the back of his hand. âThank you for saving me.â
He didnât properly respond, and instead hummed out a sleepy acknowledgement.Â
âYouâre so heroic.â
âMmm.â
âAnd handsome.â
âMhm.â He inhaled and exhaled deeply.
âThank you for staying by my side.â
This time he didnât respond. He looked entirely peaceful and his lips were parted slightly.
âMaybe I spoke too soon,â you laughed quietly, brushing a loose hair out of his face. âYou should sleep though,â you said more to yourself than to him. âI canât imagine how tired you must be.â
You watched his chest rise and fall with the unnecessary breaths he still took after all these years. You couldnât believe that mere moments ago, heâd admitted that he was beginning to care more for your safety than for his own. Much less that he might even love you.
Astarion made a small sound, like a tiny grunt from the back of his throat that youâd come to learn meant that he was likely out cold. He rarely fell asleep before you did, given how little rest elves needed, which only further showed how exhausted he truly was.
âI love that noise,â you smiled.Â
You turned your head back up to the top of your tent and sighed. âI love how funny you are. And I love how even though youâre incredibly intelligent, youâre the dumbest man Iâve ever met.â You looked back at him. His slumbering expression remained unchanged. âI love your eyes, and your ears, and the annoying way you put your hand on your hip when you think youâve gained the upper hand in something.â You squeezed his hand ever so slightly and watched to make sure his features stayed even. âI love how kind you pretend you arenât and how fiercely you deny it when I bring it up. I love your laugh, and how gently you hold me when you feed, and how you think about me when you could so easily think of yourself instead.âÂ
Again, you brought his hand up to your mouth and kissed his fingers.
âI love you, Astarion.â
You couldnât be sure, but you swore you could see the slightest smile on his face as you felt your eyes flutter closed and you drifted into your own contented sleep.
#astarion#astarion ancunin#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion x reader#astarion x you#astarion x female reader#astarion x f!reader#astarion x bard!reader#hurt/comfort#angst with a happy ending#astarion x tav#astarion fanfic#soft astarion#baldur's gate 3 fanfic#bg3 fanfic#my writing#mine#beauty and the bard#worth the peril#tw: blood#tw: violence#tw: gore#apologies if i missed any tags/content warnings#tumblr ate this post the first time i tried making it đ#i fear the first draft of my a/n was better#oh well!#i am SUCH a huge fan of astarion acting on love and not knowing that it's love that he's feeling#he's a big dumb doof and i absolutely adore him#i also don't think it would be true to his character if her said it in this chapter - he's still got some walls up and feelings to sort out
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I know a lot of people like early seasons Destiel, don't get me wrong I do too.
But I looooove later seasons Destiel (from S12 to S15) because that's where the widower arc happens and there's no coming back from that. People can deny Destiel all they want, BUT the thing is that this widower arc exists, it happened like for real in the show.
And at the same time without early seasons Destiel there's no later seasons Destiel.
Hmm. You know what? I love every seasons Destiel, because that's them. That's part of their relationship, that's what made them who they are. I love them.
#I love everything about them#like independantly#dean winchester#castiel#but also their relationship#with the angst#the miscommunication#the softness#the FRIENDSHIP#the insanity about each other#EVERYTHING#destiel#deancas#that's why I'm here#they made me do all of this#writing fanfiction#having tumblr#it's all them#and I love that too#my personal experience with destiel
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The Great Boopathon
Twilight
It had honestly been an accident, a truly sincere miscalculation. Sky tried to remember that Wolfie was Twilight. But sometimes, when the fluffy animal trotted into town, panting from exertion or cheer, Sky just immediately knelt in front of him with a sweet greeting and a gentle boop on the nose.
He didn't think it was possible for an animal to look so offended, but somehow Twilight managed it.
Sky
This was war.
Twilight huffed as he watched Sky sleep. The teenager was out cold, as per usual, curled into himself and covered in blankets. It was a little more unusual than his usual sleep position, in which literally anything was possible because he could fall asleep literally anywhere, but the boy's head cold had him shivering.
That didn't stop Twilight, though. He still remembered the boop. The completely humiliating and degrading gesture, the cute noise Sky made with it as he bapped Twilight's wolf nose gently with a smile on his face and a flush to his cheeks.
Sky moaned miserably, looking distinctly uncomfortable. Twilight swallowed, grabbing his resolve. He walked forward stealthily before laying on the ground, his canine nose stretching forward until it met Sky's own congested one. Then his tail swished back and forth, dusting leaves off the earth.
Sky scrunched his nose in response, tickled by the wetness of it, before he opened his eyes to see a snout. He yelped, trapped in his blankets, and Twilight pounced on him, bapping him with a paw and pinning him in place as he laughed and tried to fight.
Abel
"There's no way you can do it!"
Link glared defiantly in response. He would do this, and there was no stopping him. He would always rise to a challenge. He couldn't afford to fail, he couldn't afford to lose the faith of those who believed in him.
He was stealthier than he'd ever been in his entire life. He could pass for a Sheikah, he was certain. His heart pounded in his chest, anxiety trying but failing to whittle away at his resolve. His naysayer watched with bated breath.
The greatest challenge, of course, were the floorboards. There were some that creaked. It would be absolutely catastrophic if his foe heard his approach. Carefully, Link tried to remember which boards creaked the most, settling his bare feet with such care to distribute his weight properly.
When he finally reached the bed, he nearly failed in his mission. His enemy stirred, almost awakening, but he managed to avoid disaster. Finally, his objective in sight, the Hero of Hyrule leapt, landing on his prey with a mighty hyah.
Abel nearly jumped out of his skin as he was startled awake before getting slammed in the face with a pillow.
"I told you I could do it!" Link yelled at the stairway where his sister, Lyra, was hiding.
Daruk
The leader of the Gorons had many precious memories to make him smile when he was more contemplative in the evenings. Perhaps his favorite, though, was when the Champions met his child, who had been so delighted to meet them that he'd rolled over Revali's toes and crashed into Link's knees, knocking the Hylian over. It had been a fun day in general, but the little boop his boy had given him when he picked him up had been the most delightful part.
It was usually what Daruk would do for the child before bedtime; to have such a simple gesture reciprocated brought him more joy than he could ever articulate.
Shadow Link
He had nearly succeeded in getting away from the damn gloom hands, but his stamina had run out. When they'd caught up to him, he could practically sense the displeasure radiating off them, and his insides froze at the sight of them.
Then one of the hands leaned over and booped him on the nose, making him yelp, before the others grabbed him and teleported him through the gloom back to Ganondorf's location.
"Was that really necessary?" Link grumbled, holding his nose as if it had been burned.
"Yes," the demon king replied without hesitation as he snatched him by his tunic and plopped him beside him. "Now rest."
Mystery Link
Link wasn't sure how it happened, but being completely smothered by his dog was not how he wanted to start his mornings. Nevertheless, it was how Friend decided to be his new morning alarm, slapping his face with a paw as a warning before laying her whole head over him and asphyxiating him.
By the fifth morning, he started wrestling her in response, and she always got so excited about it that she would spend the next few minutes zooming all over the forest, tail tucked and legs flailing in all directions.
Wind
Twilight was acting weird.
Wind was a little worried. After all, he'd only just recovered from his injury recently. Although the sailor had the utmost faith in the elder Hero's abilities, he couldn't help but watch him and see what was up. This was a matter of great importance, and only Wind could truly understand as the others seemed completely oblivious.
He made several observations while the others were pointlessly distracted. Twilight's eyes were wary, looking everywhere as if he were expecting an attack. Wind knew for certain that the rancher hadn't been patrolling because Time and Wild wouldn't allow for it quite yet. But no one else was on edge. It was possible Twilight just felt inadequate or useless, as he was typically the one who tried to shoulder a great deal of responsibility.
Wind moved closer to his dear friend, curious. He was going to ask him outright if he kept this behavior up, but--
Twilight gasped, grabbing Wind around the ribs and holding him like a shield in front of his body, and Wind yelped as Sky poked his nose.
"Hey!" Sky snapped. "No cheating!"
"There are no rules in this war!" Twilight huffed back. Then he gave Wind a squeeze against his torso as a compensatory hug. "Sorry about that, little pirate."
"Ha! Sorry? Let me go, I'll avenge you!" Wind happily offered, already wiggling out of his grip as Sky fled.
Time
"This is getting out of hand," Time said severely, hands on his hips. "And is unbefitting of a Hero."
Twilight looked extremely schooled. If he were in his wolf form, he probably would have his tail between his legs, ears peeled back. Time did not feel guilty in the slightest about it. The camp was in utter disarray, supplies strewn everywhere as Twi's wolf form had utterly destroyed the place and barreled over most of the heroes while he'd tried to escape Sky's little winged mechanical booping machine and Wind's exuberant screams.
Unlike Twilight, Sky looked nearly indifferent, but somehow he managed to convert his expression to apologetic when Time glared at him. Wind, however, was unrepentant.
And giggling.
Time was going to lecture him further when the reason for Wind's laughter dropped out of the nearest tree, landing on Time's shoulders and booping him on the nose.
Sky and Wind cheered as Wild scrambled off Time and fled into the forest, giggling all the way.
#800 boops in twenty minutes is quite the achievement LOL#y'all are too powerful XD#writing#I was tied between Shadow and Mystery being my grumpiest OC Links so I just wrote both lol#different kinds of grumps I suppose#one is teenage angst paired with the insanity/horror of his situation#the other is just 100% Done with everything (which frankly is more fun LOL)#RIP Abel you never had a chance once Link was given a challenge#he does love his side quests and mini games after all and Lyra was ready to give him a challenge#Twi and Sky start to have a boop war#it gets insane#everyone gets dragged into it#Daruk being a Dad made me unexpectedly soft and happy#also RIP Revali's birdie toes#he deserves to be run over it's fine
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Just finished your new storeshifter au and, if I may add to the angst train, how long did it take for Sapnap to eat in the same place as his partners?
I'd assume he would have some trauma surrounding eating/chewing/swallowing near people after everything that happened with Bad and I would bet that sudden change in behavior would be extremely worrying to Karl and Quackity
ANON YOURE A GENIUS
yes absolutely, it takes a long while for Sapnap to get used to eating around people again after the Bad incident. Hell, heâd probably have a hard time eating. I think heâd play it off to Karl and Quackity as just wanting to eat by himself but then heâd go off and justâŠnot eat.
also i can imagine this happening in the middle period between the fiancĂ©s leaving after the Bad incident and them finding the store, so theyâre just traversing through the dangerous woods. Yknow, probably the least favorable place to be starving yourself given that you need energy to walk and fight off threats.
(tw for a little talk of fatal vore and digestion here, nothing canon just intrusive thoughts)
I can imagine that Sapnap has a hard time with swallowing anything for a while. He wonât drink anything warm cause it reminds him of his dadâs body heat when he swallowed him. He wonât chew anything because all of a sudden heâs back to the forest in that fight with that bird and itâs his dad thatâs getting crunched in his teeth. God forbid he try eating any sort of animal; the first time he tried to eat meat after the incident it wasnât fully cooked and the blood in his mouth sent him into the worst panic attack of his life.
Worse yet, when he does have a full stomach, the sounds of him digesting his food make him want to sob. Countless times after the incident he had tried to force himself to eat. After all, he was the only one of his trio who could fight, he had to get over himself and stay strong for them. But every time, heâd dream of a scenario where he hadnât been lucid enough to let his dad out, where he had died within him, and they only sounds heâd woken up to were the gurgles of his own stomach and he couldnât handle that.
He survives solely on water for as long as a living being can. Karl and Quackity notice him getting weaker, but he pushes off every attempt they make to comfort him. He doesnât deserve to be comforted. Heâs a monster.
Eventually he passes out and Quackity and Karl give him a very stern talking to, and heâs no longer allowed to wander off while they eat cause they want to make sure heâs eating too.
He has a breakdown when they make soup one night because now that heâs with them, instead of it being just his dad, itâs his boyfriends, too. He can almost feel them struggling and screaming, and the warm, full feeling in his stomach when he swallows only makes it worse. He wonât tell them why he canât eat. They canât figure it out, but eventually they find things heâll eat by ruling out what he wonât. Nothing crunchy, nothing warm, no meat. Karl and Quackity begin to stock up on any berries they find, honey when they can come across it, and whatever roots they can easily grind into a smoothie-like mixture just to keep something in his stomach.
It takes a while for him to get over himself, and he probably still canât properly eat some things, and he regresses a ton when he eats one of his fiancĂ©s for the first time (still trying to figure out how that happens but iâll write it eventually), but after a while of Q and Karl being ok with it and getting more comfortable, he starts to feel better about himself.
#this got angstier than i meant it to very quickly#oh well :)#ALSO ANON THANK YOU FOR THE ASK I LOVE GETTING ANGSTY HEADCANONS FOR MY AUS#i will give Sapnap a break later i swear but for now itâs angst time#i love this au can you tell#half of my wips/fics i have plans for are for this#cyncerity#mcyt gt#mcyt g/t#tw vore#tw fatal vore mention#tw digestion mention#i normally tag with soft and safe but uh#iâm not gonna do that this time#store shifter au#sizeshifter!sapnap#tiny!karl#tiny!quackity
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Merthur is what bakudeku wishes it could be . I said what I said
#DON'T COME AT @ ME YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT#look i love bakudeku#I'm insane about bakudeku#they're amazing together#but merthur......#merthur is next level#merthur is everything#the banter?#the softness?#the angst?#the pining?#the tension?#the way they're both equally as insane about each other?#bakudeku wishes it could be like that#i love them so much#this isn't to say i don't love them and aren't insane about them#Katsuki died TWO TIMES for him for fucks sake#ofc I'm insane about them#but just#merthur#merthur is a standard that nothing can ever reach#this may also come from the fact that i love banter in my relationships#and bakudeku just doesn't have enough banter to satisfy me#but merthur? merthur is an entire universe of banter and i absolutely love it#foaming at the mouth everytime they insult each other actuality#bakudeku#arthur Ă Merlin#katsuki x izuku#trav talks
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"You've been through a lot... But it's alright now.
You fought long and hard Makoto...
Everyone in Kanai Ward is grateful to you."
A lil' MakoYuma comfort edit I attempted just because...
...someone needs to give this poor thing a hug fr... ;w;
show your emotions lil' CEO, you've held them in too long.
ty again for the vulnerable sadboi makoto sprite edits @shiutđ
#rain code spoilers#rain code#master detective archives: rain code#whumpcode#its angst/comfort so it counts idc#yuma kokohead#makoto kagutsuchi#makoyuma#my edits#pixeledits#yeah for my first edit in a while#I went with something soft#I want Yuma to hug Makoto so badly... ;-;#weird hug but its the best I could do lol#I love these two so much#did something similar to that one YumaYakou edit I did#lil foggy effect because its supposed to be a serene moment#much as I love whumping these two w illness...#I do want them to be happy no more sad times ;-;#AND NO MORE CONCEALING YOUR EMOTIONS#YOU WILL CRY AND YOU WILL FEEL GOOD DOING IT#also yes this is post game yuma#ROLE REVERSAL TIME#not the best edit but its hard to edit makoto#WHEN HIS HAIR IS CUT OFF FROM HIS SPRITE X-X#yuma's probably the only one who can comfort him tbh#given he trusts nobody else#I think Makoto would be a very silent crier#not long after he'd wipe his tears away going back to normal#but let him have his small moment for now <3
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Vance loves listening to Finnâs space rants đđȘ đ
#pippi art#necromancer finney au#tbp finney fanart#finney blake#tbp vance fanart#vance hopper#the black phone fanart#the black phone fandom#Finn is really tall Iâm sorry#heâs the tall bf in every ship idc#headcannon that vance isnât really much of a talker and neither is Finn but once space is brought up. he never shuts up and vance just#loves to listen to him speak about rockets even if he has no idea what Finns talking about#no angst in my household. only fluff đ#until I get to those requests in my inbox then yâall get angstđđ#also Finney and Vance promise rings!!!!#they are so special to me#vinney#vance x finney#i love soft vance. heâs a little shit but heâs also very sensitive#finn has a knack for fighter assholes huh#I was giggling like a schoolgirl while drawing this đ«¶đ»#THEY DESERVE TO BE HAPPY RAHHHHHHHHHHHH
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my god those boys need a rest
#I absolutely adore all the angst I'm an angst vampire i love it so much#but i also need just a little bit of relief#y'know#I'm dead too#lol#sonic the hedgehog#miles tails prower#tails the fox#sonic and tails#unbreakable bond#this week has harvested my organs and tore my heart into pieces#just a littol bit of softness#(though i will still happily read all the angst because I'm obsessed)
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#hello i appear again#nothing bad happened i just need to take breaks sometimes#also i'm really happy because#on friday i bought my first darkromanceish book#and it's the first book i manage to read since probably 2017/2018#i used to be an avid reader as a kid so it always hurt to have lost the ability to focus for more than 5 mins#BUT I DID IT. I FUCKING LOVED IT. AND IT WAS SO SPICY#i also cried obviously because i'm too soft for angst but hello it's DARK ROMANCE#the love interest was such a good fucking dom oh god#i wish i could have had someone eating me out while reading the sex parts because HOLY. SHIT.#the realest ME WHEN#anyways girlies if anyone is on the same dark romance train and is interested#it's the twisted series by ana huang#that's the only thing i have to tell honestly lol idk when i'll post pics again but#wanted to say hi đ€#if you read all these tags you absolutely own my heart. i highly doubt it tho
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If there is one thing I enjoy doing itâs messing around with canon events :3c
#re4#re4make#serennedy#leon kennedy#resident evil#art#zkretchy#fun fact: this is my 1.000 post on this blog (aka my sideblog/artblog) :D#getting sus about my streak of wholesome art#i am awaiting an angst run in at least my daydreaming soon after all this sweetness rly#also yes hi can leon have SOMEONE he loves and who loves him even if 'only' platonically stick around#bc this man seems lonely af the more i think about it honey pls#do you have friends? regular ones?#non-we only meet on missions and i trust you with your live but we arent hanging out outside that due to this messy life-ones as well?#anyhow....soft leon/luis art#i may not be able to help out in making more fic w/ them (thank y'all btw you are doing gods work)#but i got these v-v#resident evil 4 remake#luis sera#luis serra#re4remake
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when Dabi realizes just how much he loves you, it scares him at first. itâs a new feeling really, foreign and unearthly to him. a strange phenomenon that makes his chest twist tighter than the knots you tie in his shoes when heâs too weak to do it himself, when he pushes past his physical limit.
as he lays beside you in bed, he takes the entirety of you in. the slope of your nose and the skin of your cheeks and the curve of your mouth and your gentle hands that pillow your head. he takes you in, unblinking form laying beside yours, all quiet breaths interrupted by your rumbling snores.
he wonders if he should burn everything youâve built with him to the ground. literally and metaphorically, emotionally and verbally. itâs all he knows, the flames, the uncontrollable fear that enrages him. heâs never had a good thing stay this long in his life, and he wonders if youâre up to no good inside that pretty little head of yours.
all he knows is destruction and chaos, but youâre something new. something mellow that cools off the flames and bandaids the scars and kisses the healing wounds. heâs not used to the comfort, to the easy, to the love, to the acceptance, to theâthe you. heâs used to fucking shit up when it gets too good, but heâs not sure he can handle seeing the aftermath of watching you patch your skin together again and staple your wallpaper back up after heâs melted it from its foundation
so he thinks heâll stay, for now at least. wait for the catastrophe, the explosion that always becomes of him wherever he goes. heâll be prepared for it this time, he tells himself as he finally closes his eyes, knocking your shoulder once to wake you.
âStop your damn snoring. Canât get a lick of sleep.â He tells you, voice rough and ragged in his throat. but you donât bite at him like he expects you to, hopes you do. you only blink sleepily at him before you smile, scooting closer until you make yourself small against his front, hands grasping the front of his baggy sleep shirt in your fists.
âSorry. Love you.â You say, so gentle, it almost makes Dabi ache. why canât you match his flame? why wonât your love for him flicker away like a dwindling candle? why do you keep loving him?
âLove you too. Now go the hell back to sleep.â He whispers, voice suddenly thick. you only giggle, a raspy little sound as you whisper back an okay, before drifting off again. And even though he complains about it, Dabi canât fall asleep until your snores start up again. Then, he knows itâs safe to sleep. Then, he knows youâre there with him. Then, he knows that he has you and can hold you and maybe let you in just a little bit closer.
#thinking soft touya thots#and also thots of going to bed early (now) bc my head hurts#I love him sm#I finally got to the episodes where they fully explain his origin story#and good lord did I cry#love him w my whole heart n pussy#okay gn Iâll rb this again for a few hours#ânew treat in the streets! đ«#dabi treats! đŹ#also is this angst??? I donât think so but it definitely has a more melancholy vibe to it lol
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Drew and took these pics a while ago but never posted them!! The OG Zac PC, and the special lil guy that initially appealed me to Zacâs characters :)
What a guy :-)
#my art#described#dimension 20#dimension 20 fantasy high#gorgug thistlespring#also I made him trans. genuinely not for any story reasons or logic. I just like him so I wanted to ~bestow the highest honor I could~ LMAO#heâs sooooooo cute and sweet⊠I love a barbarian whoâs also very sad and kinda pathetic (HIGHEST AFFECTION)#literally just wanna wrap him in a blanket and cradle him like a baby. <- normal thing to say i promise#WORLD SO CRUEL AND HARD GORGUG HEART SO SOFT AND LOVE. DO NOT HURT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#fh and especially fhsy got me on a same wavelength as neverafter with like. gdi these are children. I WANT THE KIDS TO BE ABLE TO BE KIDS#BUT ALSO I love angst so much and gorgugâs portion of the nightmare forestâŠ. exquisite#tldr I like him :) NO NO BY ALL MEANS WHATD YOU SAY ABOUT MY BOY-
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#having a creative rut feeling#gonna rant#im basically a giant baby and i don't handle angst very well#and i constantly worry that im just. idk mentally weak or a deeply uninteresting person bc of it.#every big fantasy artist i see is usually very into making sad or angsty pieces and like i wish i was like that#like i fall into this mental hole very very often that im just holding myself back with how many subjects i dont write or draw#but also like when i DO write dark subjects it doesn't make me feel any better??#i dont like feeling sad or angry bc once i am its extremely hard to get back out of it.#and thats scary for me.#but also i want to make art that means something instead of my nonestop slew of smut and feelgood content.#i genuinely feel so trapped by my own emotions and its sp frustrating.#i keep getting told how good for you it is to get the negative feelings out but it never helps when i do it#i just feel. worse? i dont feel good.#i kinda wanna delete the one cloud post bc it just doesn't feel good.#ugh#idk i want to have good intelligent things to say and thoughtful art to make#and everything i make feels soft and cheesey and lame.#not that i find those things lame#but just that it feels like im stuck in baby brain.#when i was a teen i would write horror stories!!! i still love horror!!!#but if i make someone suffer in fic now it feels me with this awful awful overwhelming sense of dread and guilt and i end up so upset#im frustrated at me bc this is such a fucking weird sensitivity to have. im tried of telling myself its okay#bc i WANT to feel mentally free enough to create shit that isnt just uwu soft.#i don't think im making sense but like.#you know#I've literally been bullied out of fandom spaces for only making soft content#multiple times.#so idk maybe this is a learned sense of shame#but i feel like a big over sensitive baby and like I'd be able to do so much more if i wasn't#vent ish
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I have another ask for Jingliu (aside from one or two in drafts Iâm slowly doing) and I realize that I now have a choice between three ideas to write, and honestly.. I donât feel people talk about her enough sometimes. I get she doesnât appear much right now but man, thinking about her in the quintet days and also just like, getting to think more about her perspective of everything and just
I will not be okay
#i don't need the world to see |ooc|#donât mind the word ramble#niko sent me a Jingliu ask from a recent meme and my brain just#got stuck between two angst and one soft idea and then I realized I also donât think about her enough and man#I need to#I love her sm
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PRINCE!GOJO X KNIGHT!READER MY BELOVED i just thought about another thing and i need to get it out - i like to think out knights are connected ok. hear me out maybe my knight is just another version of yours - meaning if my knight had met satoru at a young age, they would've turned into your knight DOES THAT MAKE SENSE your knight is a bit more soft (still a warrior though!!!) while mine isn't as soft as they'd like to be and that's just because one grew up in a castle with the prince taking care of them and the other grew up having to fend for themselves they're all just sooooooooooooooo ahhhh i can't i keep thinking about your knight too like they all actually made a cozy little home in my head i love them so much
and i think your lovely "i think i was born to meet you." applies for my little prince and his little knight too:(((((((((((
- @softgirlgonehaywire
MICKEY I KNOW I SAY THIS EVERY DAY BUT WE RLLY ARE CONNECTED i was literally thinking abt this while answering that askâŠ. the differences between our knightsâŠ. AND UR SOSO RIGHT thats literally perfect. its canon to our lore now.Â
it makes sm sense too bc the reason why my knight!reader is so devoted to prince!gojo is bc he saved them!! and i think that also leads them to have a kind of hero complex where they want to return the favor, or save others the way he saved them⊠but to your knight satoru is just a silly little spoiled prince that theyve never met before, so why would they like him??
ok but now im just thinking abt our knights meeting each otherâŠ::: ur knight coming face to face w a version of them that isnt as hardened, that was saved and got to live a more peaceful lifeâŠ.. the envy and maybe contempt? or maybe just apathy. idk but i am THINKING
AND AND ANDâŠâŠ.. ok but what if our princes met the other version of their knight đ”âđ«đ”âđ«Â HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUTTT
justâŠ. ur prince!gojo meeting a knight!reader who is soso loyal and smitten w him (he would cry and explode i think)âŠ.. and my prince!gojo meeting a knight!reader who lost their smile (WHO HE FAILED TO SAVE oh i think that would just break him)âŠâŠ my knight being so indulgent and ur satoru taking full advantage of it, ur knight getting hissy when my gojo acts overprotectiveâŠâŠ HHHHH IM LOSING IT MICKEY CAN U FEEL ITâŠâŠ..
anyways in my head theyre one big found family who take care of each other <333 love & peace on planet earth etc etc. they were meant to meet each other one way or another!!!
#THE ARI/MICKEY KNIGHT&PRINCE MULTIVERSE GOES CRAZY#i also think its so funny how one side is just fluff bc sweet lil prince!gojo gets a knight who loves him back#while the other side is just gut-churning soul-shattering Angst LOL#but tbh i think ur prince would miss having a knight who will just beat the shit out of him#and my prince would literally throw up out of guilt if he learned abt the pain ur knight went thru LMAO (there are tears in my eyes.)#THE INTERACTIONS FLOODING MY BRAIN RNâŠ. mickey u keep infecting me more and more pls stop i cant take it đđ#ok but im also soso curious to learn more abt ur little prince so i can dissect the differences between our gojos tooâŠ#my spontenous take was just that maybe my gojo is a lil more twisted..? cruel maybe? but i honestly dont know#i feel like theyre both soft and kind but also a little sick in the head#maybe ur gojo is a bit more spoiled or coddledâŠâŠâŠ less detached?? mickey im so interested in him u dont even know#i cant wait to learn more!!!#ask tag â©
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