#i am awaiting an angst run in at least my daydreaming soon after all this sweetness rly

[zkretchy]

If there is one thing I enjoy doing it’s messing around with canon events :3c

[wangxianfics]

Hi! Do you know any fanfics in which Wei Wuxian is a rogue cultivator? And thank you so much for your recs, I’ve been supplied with the best reading material thanks to you!!!!

Hi nonny! 

We’re glad our blog is helping you to find new amazing reading material 😉. 

And as to your question, these fics should feature the “Rogue Cultivator!WWX” content you were looking for:

Cheap Labor by SakuraKage (4+K, General)

(Canon Divergence, Rogue Cultivator!WWX, Insecure!WWX, Sugar Daddy!LWJ, Getting Together, Marriage)

@yilingradishfairy

If someone had told him five years ago that, as a grown adult, he would be back in Gusu, copying scrolls in the Library Pavilion voluntarily, Wei Wuxian would have laughed his head off. You couldn’t pay me to come back to the Cloud Recesses, Land of Three Thousand Rules, he would have said. Wei Wuxian was very fortunate that this never occurred, as he had always hated eating his words. Because here he was. Copying scrolls. And getting paid for it.

Resplendence by FrozenMarVel (116+K, Explicit, WIP 31/?)

(Canon Divergence, Different Meetings, Love At First Sight, Crossdressing, Flirting, Fix-It, Fluff, Jealous!LWJ, Fluff, UST, Horny!Wangxian, Wangxian Fam, Badass!Cangse Sanren, Courting)

Lan Wangji encounters a beautiful stranger during a routine night hunt. He is enchanted. 

Sanren by Kyogre (87+K, Teen)

(Canon Divergence, Different Meetings, Action & Romance)

Leaving YunmengJiang in an effort to curb the tensions in the Jiang family, Wei WuXian becomes a rogue cultivator.

Even without the support of a sect, he is a rare genius whose name will become known across the cultivation world and whose techniques will influence the course of a war.

However, what influences his own fate is a chance meeting that becomes the first step toward love.

Death's Awaited Confession by Mantoubunlao (4+K, Mature, WIP 2/6)

(Hanahaki Disease, PTSD, Drunkenness, Rogue Cultivator!WWX)

Lan Zhan has always wanted to tell the rogue cultivator Wei WuXians true feelings, yet is at war during the time for each rejection. It isn't till death of the rogue cultivator makes things worse for the constant rejection unrequited love that makes Lan Wangji fall ill. When Wei WuXian is re-summoned, Lan Wangji now faces Hanahaki Disease and is given the chance to tell him how he truly feels to release the curse.

One Last Chance for Life by Mantoubunlao (12K, Mature, WIP 9/?)

(Canon Divergence, Rogue Cultivator!WWX)

Lán Wàngjī has one last chance to bring Wèi Wúxiàn back to Gūsū before the rogue cultivator meets death. What if Wèi Wúxiàn surrenders and returns to the sect to be taken under the care of Lán Wàngjī and Lán Xīchén to show him what offered hands are really there for.

Or would all of saving Wèi Wúxiàn be in vain?

Frost moon’s sun by RenaFair (116+K, Teen)

(Canon Divergence, Songxiao-Raised!WWX, Family Feels, Slow Build, Childhood Sweethearts, Angst and Fluff, Humor, Mentions of Smut)

Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan had dreamed of founding a sect together, that is until Xingchen heard what happened to his shijie. The two then decides to put their little dream on hold as they care for a pair of tiny hands between them, protecting the little boy with a sunshine smile as best as they can.

Alternately; Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan adopted Wei Ying after his parents' death.

Jiujiu by candlelight_smiles (7+K, Teen, WIP 4/?)

(Canon Divergence, Songxiao-Raised!WWX, Family Dynamics, Eventual Wangxian)

Xiao Xingchen finds his young nephew starving on the streets and decides to take him under his wing. Song Lan is a bit surprised to say the least when he meets his friend next to find him with a child. Thirteen years later, Lan Wangji is on a solo night hunt when he runs into a mischievous rogue cultivator.

Journey of a Rogue Cultivator by CodaRitsu (12K, General, WIP 4/?)

(Canon Divergence, Baoshan Sanren-Adopted!WWX, Rogue Cultivator!WWX)

CangSe SanRen and Wei ChangZe died during a night hunt leaving Wei WuXian to fend for himself. What if instead of Jiang FengMian, Wei WuXian was discovered by a mysterious woman instead? What if he was brought into the celestial mountains? How would things be different then?

...

"Hey, shishu!"

"Even if I am your martial uncle, I'm still younger than you."

"Hehe!~ Shishu, you know how my mother went rogue to see the world?"

"Of course, shijie was one of Baoshan Sanren's greatest disciples."

"I want to follow in my mom's footsteps! I am going to leave the mountain... Little Uncle, come with me!"

... Being raised by the infamous Baoshan Sanren, Wei WuXian learns cultivation and more of his origins. Wei WuXian befriends his mother's disciple brother, Xiao XingChen, who joins him in leaving the mountain. A rogue cultivator ventures the world performing several acts of heroism.

Who will they meet along the way? What love will bloom with new encounters? Will they surpass the hardships that may arise?

Tall Once More In The Spring Wind by FayJay (40K, Explicit, WIP 18/?)

(Pre-Canon, Backstory, Canon Divergence, Cangse Sanren, Madam Lan,  Kid!Wangxian, Kid Fic, Childhood Friends, Dragons, Lesbians)

Essentially: LWJ's mom and WWX's mom ON THE RUN with THEIR KIDS.

(...and also MY's mom. And any other goddamn moms who need help. Get in the fucking car, ladies, we're saving everybody)

Because here's the thing: LWJ's mother was a cultivator who killed her future-husband's teacher. And I think we all have a pretty damn good idea what might have gone down to provoke that, and why the Lan menfolk never actually explain what precipitated this act of extreme violence, and thus we can probably take a stab at why a perhaps-newly-pregnant lady* might end up agreeing to a marriage of convenience with some guy she really wasn't into, who was determined to keep her locked up in a pleasant little prison in Gusu. And I'd like to say "aww, bless him, he saved his unrequited crush all selflessly like, even though they didn't then live together as husband and wife"....but he subsequently knocked her up with a second child. :/

The ladies in MDZS tend to have a pretty shitty time, so this fic is pulling a goddamn Fury Road and scooping them up and taking them off to form their own Ye Olde Themyscira-ish Rogue Sect of ladies looking out for other ladies.

Say Goodbye by letterando (3+K, General)

(Immortal!WWX, Demon!WWX, Rogue Cultivator!WWX, Kid!LWJ, Platonic Relationship, Different Meeings, Grief, Angst, Hurt Comfort)

Where Lan Zhan, 6 y/o, refuses to believe that Mother embarked on a journey without telling him goodbye and goes to look for her alone. Caught by surprise by a snow storm, he finds a safe port in the company of a very strange rogue cultivator.

The storm comes and goes (and I keep walking) by  Naamah_Beherit (41K, Mature)

(Canon Divergence, WWX Lives, Found Family, Reunions, Identity Reveal)

Yiling Laozu was dead, and the cultivation world rejoiced. Now it was time to rest and finally heal the wounds left by the Sunshot Campaign.

In their absence, the countryside grew more dangerous with each passing day. Rogue cultivators stepped in soon enough. Rumour had it that amongst them, there was one who went where no one else dared to go, all but for a place to sleep and a meal for his children. Rumour had it a crow rode on his shoulder. Rumour had it he disappeared into the shadows whenever someone so much as mentioned the four great Sects.

Rumour had it he was a ghost.

*** A story of a single father, his two kids, a daydreaming disciple, and a pet crow as seen through the eyes of others.

@naamah-beherit

[zamoimagines]

Someone Else’s Baby  (Venable x Reader oneshot)

Pairing: Reader x Venable, OC

Word count: 3,121

Inspired by: Baby by Marina (song)

Warning: Angst

Plot:  Venable broke up with you after receiving a promotion at her job, but she soon realizes that leaving you was the biggest mistake of her life. She sees you out one night and plans to approach you, but she sees you kissing a new woman. 

A/N: Hey guys, this is something that I’ve been wanting to write up for a while. My hiatus is TBD right now, as I’m working as a dishwasher right now on top of trying to keep up with school. It’s been crazy. Anyway, at least there’s this oneshot for ya’ll! Thank you guys for being so supportive and understanding, as always, I love all of you. 

Wilhelmina stared blankly at the iPad screen in front of her. She knew she had orders to fulfill and even more work to take care of, but she couldn’t bring herself to even move. Her whole body felt paralyzed with pain. This time it wasn’t her back, though. This feeling was new to her. She’d never experienced heartbreak before. The worst part was that it was all her fault.

She remembered every detail of that night.

“Mina, honey, why don’t you leave that awful place? They treat you terribly.”

“This will be different, darling, it’s a promotion! I’ve been waiting for this.”

“I-I know, love… But I’m worried that they’re going to use you again.”

The way that Mina looked at Y/N was almost heartless. How could Y/N be so heartless?

“It’s a promotion. Why can’t you just be fucking happy for me?”

“I… I thought you were putting in your two weeks. I already booked our flight so we could look at apartments-”

“Well, things have changed!”

A silence hung in the air. They were on opposite sides of the room, and while they were standing close, they had never felt so far away from each other. Tears filled Y/N’s eyes.

“So, you’re just going to let them walk all over you? What if this job is just a glorified secretary position? What nothing changes?”

“You don’t understand. Why would you! You’re not as dedicated to anything as I am!”

Y/N had a fire in her eyes. Mina could see her feelings being completely shattered.

“That’s a lie, Wilhelmina. I’m dedicated to you. Not to some stupid job, or to the city, I’m dedicated to you.”

“Y/N… I- I didn’t mean that-”

“Maybe I should just go.”

Another long pause fell between the two. Why had Mina ever believed that love was something she could handle? Everyone left her in the end. Y/N was no different.

“Maybe you should.”

Y/N had tears running down her cheeks. She left the room to gather her things, which were already neatly packed into a suitcase. She just didn’t know she would have to be leaving on her own.

When she reentered the room, her eyes gazed back to Mina’s. It was almost as if she were waiting for Mina to say something… Anything.

In return, Wilhelmina slowly turned her back away from Y/N. The grip on her cane tightened. She was at a loss for words. All she could hear was the sniffling coming from Y/N.

“I hope you’re happy. Congratulations on your promotion.”

Mina wanted to turn around, but she found that she couldn’t. The front door swung open gradually.

“Goodbye, Miss Venable.”

That was the last thing she said before she left. Venable found that she couldn’t stop thinking about it since that day. Suddenly, she felt something tickling her cheek. When she touched her skin, it was just a little wet. A single tear had fallen from her tired eyes. Mina quickly tried to wipe it away.

Before she could look somewhat put together, Mutt and Jeff both walked in. She hoped to whatever higher power that they hadn’t seen anything. To her dismay, they had both watched her slip into this daydream once again. Mutt rolled his eyes.

“This is the seventh time this week that she’s done this. What the hell is wrong with her?” he whispered.

Jeff shook his head. “I think it’s still her ex. She’s been acting this way for months, dude.”

Venable’s mouth tightened into a line. She hated whenever she could hear them talking about her.

“I may be disabled, but I’m not deaf, Mr. Pfitser.”

“Woah! She can talk again! It’s a fucking miracle.” Mutt joked.

Y/N was right about the job. Rather than a business associate, she had bumped up to a glorified personal assistant. The only authority she really had was over the various “coffee girls” they hired every other week. That and her desk had moved closer to their office.

“What gives, Venable? I give you a promotion and all you do is mope around.” Jeff piped up.

“Yes, and what a promotion it was.” she mumbled under her breath as she pretended to pull up the unfinished order forms.

Mutt took a seat in one of the chairs in front of her.

“Seriously, Venable, we run a very prestigious company. We need a nice face for people to see when they come in for business, but instead they get this… this depressed, purple shell of a person.”

“Mutt! Shut the fuck up!”

“Well! Someone had to say it!”

Venable wasn’t the least bit offended. They were much too incompetent to form actual insults.

“I appreciate the sympathy, Mr. Nutter, but I have some work to finish.” she replied.

Jeff sat down in the other chair and folded his arms.

“Venable, you can’t let this woman bother you this much. We can find you a new girlfriend! The next bitch that walks through those doors is all yours. Maybe she’ll be even prettier than what’s her face… what the fuck was her name?”

“Who gives a shit?” Mutt shrugged, “Anyone would be better than that dirtbag-”

“If you talk that way about Y/N again, I will throw the next shipment of cocaine out of that goddamn window!” Mina shouted over them. It made her blood boil whenever they talked about her ex in such ways. The men went silent.

“Venable… I know you act all mysterious or whatever, but you’ve been wearing your heart on your sleeve. We know that you’re going through hell right now.” Jeff said. “Maybe moving on would help you?”

Mina glanced down at the floor. She didn’t like talking about her feelings to anyone, let alone her own bosses. Though, she didn’t feel like she had much of a choice.

“She was the one… And I lost her.” Her eyes met them once again. “There’s no one else for me.”

Jeff and Mutt never really tried to sympathize with Venable before, but they hated seeing her like this. It was miserable to watch. Mutt sighed heavily.

“Wilhelmina Venable, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you phased by anything. When we hired you, we figured there wasn’t a sensitive bone in your body. But… this is the first time I’ve seen you bothered by anything.” He gave a look to Jeff as if a lightbulb had popped up above his head.

“Do you still love her?”

“W.. What do you mean?” Venable muttered.

“It’s a pretty simple question, Miss Venable.” Jeff replied, “Do you still love her?”

“I mean… Of course I do.”

“Then you can’t just sit here!” Mutt exclaimed. He stood up in an instant and ripped the iPad away from her hands.

“You have to go after her. If she’s the one, then you have to go find her!”

A wide smile spread across Jeff’s face. Venable, on the other hand, looked completely confused.

“Give me my equipment back-”

“Nope!” Jeff chimed in. “You can’t have it. You have to go find her. She’s gotta be around town somewhere. I know LA is pretty big, but we can track her down somehow!”

“Don’t be fucking ridiculous,” Venable was getting irritated now, “She left the state.”

“So where is she?”

“I don’t know. Last I heard, she left for Missouri.”

“Well then, what are you waiting for! Get your crooked ass on a plane and go after her!” Mutt cried out.

“Mr. Nutter, I am much too occupied with my work-”

“No you’re not.” Jeff cut her off. “You’re not allowed to come back to work until you’ve gone to see her.”

“That’s ridiculous!”

“Not in the slightest. Consider it a business trip. Hell, we’ll even pay for your ticket!” Mutt added. “Go home, pack as fast as you can, and we’ll have a car pick you up at 1:30 sharp.”

“Mr. Nutter, Mr. Pfitser, I understand your concern, but I’m not going-”

“If you don’t, then you’re fired.”

The two men were all grins. Venable was still a little dumbfounded.

“You’ll fire me?”

“Yes, we will fire you. You can’t come back until you’ve at least tried to talk to her.” Jeff said.

Mutt nearly giggled. It was clear that the two of them were extremely excited for her. Though, Venable wasn’t sure what to think. So much could go wrong… But at the same time, what did she have to lose?

They stared at her as they awaited her response. She groaned.

“Fine! I’ll go.”

Mutt and Jeff hollered. They began to dance around and act like complete children. Though, Venable couldn’t help but crack a smile.

“What are you still doing here?” Mutt cried. “Go! Get the fuck out of here!”

“You have a plane to catch!” Jeff added.

“I guess I do.” Venable replied. Venable replied. In an instant, she stood up from her desk, her cane and her purse in hand. As she made her way out of the room, she could hear the cheers and hoots coming from Mutt and Jeff. Her smile turned into the biggest grin. She hadn’t felt this alive in some time, and she was determined to not mess it up this time.

------------------------

The plane ride had been long and tedious. But just as Mutt and Jeff said, a car showed up in front of her apartment at 1:30 PM. Now, here she was in the Midwest. She always despised the humidity, but this time of year, it was getting much drier with the cold weather moving in. She could almost admit that it was just as beautiful here as Y/N had told her.

The hotel that was booked was quaint, but she didn’t mind that. Venable was much too nervous to care about anything except finding Y/N.

All she could remember about this town was the little coffee shop that Y/N always talked about taking her to. Luckily, she remembered the name.

The next day, Venable woke up to the sound of storms. The rain outside was far from a light shower. It was as if today was the perfect day to go. For the first time in a while, Venable felt good. Maybe even a little hopeful.

She put on her favorite lavender turtleneck with her work skirt, but this time, she decided to ditch the belt. Her hair remained in the same tight ponytail that she always wore. As she finished up her makeup, she gazed at herself in the mirror.

Everything will work out.  

She took a deep breath before leaving her room. When she arrived at the coffee shop, she made sure to walk in slowly. Her cane struck the floor gently as she made her way to the counter.

“Hi there!” A barista greeted her. “What can I get started for you?”

Venable tried to smile. She had to admit, she was more nervous than she thought she’d be.

“Hello… Uh�� just a black coffee for today.”

“Sure thing!”

As she waited for her drink, she took a seat. People would come in, some would go out. No sign of Y/N. An hour went by. She ordered another coffee. Another hour. Another coffee. The rain only continued to get heavier.

After the fourth round of coffee, she couldn’t even bring herself to leave her seat. Maybe this was the wrong place? Or worse, what if Y/N had moved to another state completely? The hopelessness was setting in yet again.

“This was stupid.” she said to herself under her breath. Just as she said this, she heard the door swing open. Glancing up, she could feel her heart stop. There she was.

“Hey, I didn’t think you were making it today!” the barista said.

“You think I’d just skip a day?” Y/N said with a small giggle. “I had to walk here today, but I made it.”

“I shouldn’t have doubted you. The usual?”

“Yes, please. I need it with this weather.”

Y/N still looked as beautiful as ever. She was wearing a big sweater with some leggings and the scarf that Venable had given Y/N for her birthday. Venable had never seen a woman so beautiful in her life. As quick as she could, she stood up and used her cane to balance herself.

With the sound of the familiar sound of Venable’s cane, Y/N looked in her direction. Her eyes locked with the redhead’s. She looked like she was in such a state of disbelief that she couldn’t move. In all fairness, Venable didn’t think she could move either.

“Mina?” Y/N said softly.

“Hello, darling.” Venable replied. “I… I wasn’t sure if this was the right place.”

As they stared back at each other, the baristas gazed at them as if they were watching a soap opera.

“Mina… How… I thought you were still back in Los Angeles?” she said, stepping closer to Wilhelmina.

“I… I am. I came here to see you.”

Both of them seemed to have a mix of various emotions. Venable gave Y/N a small laugh.

“Sorry… I didn’t think I’d make it this far.”

“Well, you look great. Did the promotion end up working out?” Y/N replied. Venable could hear the nervousness in her voice.

“Somewhat. Mutt and Jeff told me to tell you hi.”

“Ah,” Y/N smiled a little. “Tell them I say hi. Are you getting along better with them now that you’re a business associate for the company?”

“You could say that.”

Another long pang of silence. Venable took Y/N’s hand in her own.

“Is… Is there any way we could talk? I have so much to say.”

Y/N hesitated. Feeling her hand against her own skin melted Venable’s cold heart.

“I… I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Mina.”

“I flew all this way, please… At least hear what I have to say.”

“I would, Mina, but this really isn’t a great time.”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

The barista cleared her throat. “Y/N, your two vanilla lattes are ready.”

Venable chuckled. “You got two?” She grinned a little. “You weren’t kidding when you said you were a coffee addict.”

The door swung open again. A blonde woman rushed inside and out of the rain. She was pretty, to say the least. The stranger had a much more curvaceous build than Venable did, and she wore her hair in a loose, curly lob. She even dressed way better than Venable ever had in her life. This woman was truly like a beam of light. The stranger came up to Y/N and pressed a kiss to her head.

“I’m so sorry, honey, I tried to get out as soon as I could. The restaurant was really backed up today.” she spoke. Even her voice was like a breath of fresh air.

“No, it’s okay, I actually just got here.” Y/N replied. Her hand pulled away from Venable’s touch. “Uh… Miss Venable, this is Keri. My girlfriend.”

Venable’s heart sank in her chest. It felt as if she cracked in two.

“Oh! Miss Venable, your old boss?” Keri said in a bubbly tone. “I never thought I’d be able to meet you! How’s Los Angeles treating you?”

Venable couldn’t find words. The baristas had now stood back away from the counter, watching in horror.

“Los Angeles is wonderful. It’s… It’s nice to meet you, Keri.”

Y/N’s eyes were wide. The whole situation made her uncomfortable.

“I wish I could go. I’ve been begging Y/N to take me so I could see the city!” Keri’s smile was bigger than ever. “What a coincidence that we ran into you. What brings you into town?”

Venable met Y/N’s eyes. She was trying hard not to show any emotion.

“I-I’m visiting someone. I think maybe I went to the wrong establishment.” Venable murmured in a monotone voice.

“Oh, there’s a Starbucks down the road, maybe you’re thinking of that one?”

“Perhaps.”

Keri noticed that there was a strange energy in the room. She even glanced back to Y/N and saw that she looked a little off.

Y/N remained silent.

“Well… We’ve got some errands to run, yeah?” Keri mentioned.

Y/N nodded a little. “Yeah… We have some grocery shopping to do.”

“We’re hosting a little get together tonight,” Keri turned to Venable, “You stop by! I’m making homemade tacos!”

Venable clutched her cane. She wasn’t sure she would be able to stand.

“That’s alright. I… I’m actually leaving tonight.”

Y/N’s eyes softened. There was so much they wanted to say, but there was nothing else either one of them could do. She gazed longingly at Venable.

“Oh… That’s too bad.” Keri wrapped her arm around Y/N’s waist. Venable held back the tears that were beginning to well up in her eyes.

“Maybe you can stop by next time?”

“Yes… Maybe.”

Y/N looked paralyzed. Despite the tension, Keri placed a small kiss to Y/N’s lips before pulling away.

“I’ll get our coffee, okay?” The blonde then turned to Venable. “It was nice to finally meet you!”

“Likewise.” Venable replied.

Y/N tried to reach out for the other woman.

“Mina, I-”

“It’s fine, Y/N.” Venable whispered. “I’m glad that you found someone.”

Y/N frowned before turning to Keri.

“Ready?”

“Yeah, let’s get out of here before the storm gets any worse.”

Y/N attempted to smile at Venable.

“Goodbye, Miss Venable.”

Hearing those words left a pang in Wilhelmina’s chest. She couldn’t even say anything.

Wilhelmina watched Y/N walk out with the new woman. Keri let out a loud giggle as the rain pelted both of them. As they got into a white car, Venable watched them share a passionate kiss. Her cheek got that same odd, ticklish feeling. Touching her cheek, she realized that it was another tear.

The baristas felt terrible. One had his hand over his mouth, and the other bit her index finger.

“Ma’am… I can get you a coffee to go?” She began. “It’s on the house.”

Venable shook her head.

“That’s quite alright… I shouldn’t have come here in the first place.” she replied. She wobbled out of the shop with more tears falling down her face. As she made it outside, she couldn’t tell if tears or rain were covering her face.

This had all been a mistake. Mutt and Jeff got her hopes up all for nothing.

Her heart felt even more broken than before. Wilhelmina would never get Y/N back, and she had to live with knowing that the love of her life now belonged to another woman.

She was too late.

REQUEST MORE IMAGINES HERE!

[unfortunatelysirius]

The Prison I Call Home [Regulus Black - Marauders Era]

♥ PROMPT ♥ [Requested by sectumsempra-beaches] Helloooo!!! I was kinda wondering if you could do a Regulus Black x Hufflepuff!reader?? :p where She/He is friends with the Blacks since a young age (reader is of regulus's age) and when she/he goes to hogwarts she/he is torn between the two brothers. but then later on sirius gets to know about her/his crush on regulus and with the marauders' help tries to set the two up because "someone needs to pull regulus out of that insane prison I called home!" keep writing btw! I love your stuff!! <3 <3 ♥ A/N ♥ Words cannot describe how much I love this request. The Marauders Era is my FAVORITE era to write about. I adore everything about it, and Regulus deserved better. So, so, so much love for Regulus. Also, so sorry but I made the reader female instead of gender neutral! I find that I’m a better writer when I use third-person, haha, and I wanted to use a female reader as I myself am female. Anyways, thank you for the request, darling, and I hope I do it justice! And thank you so much; you’re too kind :) Have a great day, lovely! ♥ WARNINGS ♥ Swearing, Fluff, Angst ♥ WORD COUNT ♥ 2180

The L/N family had always been great friends with the Blacks. Y/N’s first memory regarding the Blacks was of Regulus, the youngest, defending her against his cousin Bellatrix when she shot a nasty jinx at her and called her a Squib. He was her age, and was an absolute sweetheart—though, his brother Sirius would definitely disagree. Y/N couldn’t remember a time when Regulus wasn’t around, protecting her from verbal onslaughts and physical attacks alike, or talking with her about the great things to occur when they went to Hogwarts.

“We’ll always be friends, won’t we, Reg?” she had asked the night before her eleventh birthday, giving Regulus a hopeful look. He smiled at her. It was this special smile, one he only ever reserved for her.

“Of course,” he’d told her, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “Who else am I going to share Chocolate Frogs with?”

Sirius was always on her case, ranting on and on about how Regulus was a bad influence. He was completely adamant on believing that Walburga and Orion were going to have Regulus grow up to be a Death-Eater, one of Lord Voldemort’s servants. However, Y/N knew exactly the kind of person Regulus was—and he definitely was not a killer. He was just scared, a feeling that she knew all too well.

After Sirius went to Hogwarts, a letter was sent to the L/N house a week later to inform Y/N and her parents that he’d been sorted into Gryffindor. The letter was angry and long, and it scared Y/N half to death. Bellatrix and Narcissa were always teasing and taunting her, saying that Y/N was destined to be a Hufflepuff. Knowing the absolute fury Walburga planned to rage against Sirius the moment he returned home, Y/N was afraid that she awaited the same fate.

“Well, that’s unfortunate,” Y/N’s mother had said, clicking her tongue at the letter. “Poor Sirius.”

“I’m sure he’s to expect a Howler within a fortnight,” her father added. He turned to run a hand through Y/N’s hair, giving her a gentle, reassuring smile. “Times like this, I honestly don’t know what to think of Walburga.”

Though she still thought her parents to disown her, she went to Hogwarts and was sorted into Hufflepuff. Her parents hadn’t been the least bit surprised; they’d expected it, due to your shy, kind nature. Walburga and Orion weren’t supportive at all, but it wasn’t their child, so they kept their comments to themselves. Regulus was only disappointed that she was in a different house; he didn’t really care for her being in Hufflepuff, though he still made the occasional joke. He was never malicious though, unlike his cousins who decided to continue their teasing and taunting like the childish gits that they were.

Sirius was afraid for her. Though Y/N had never been close to him as she was with Regulus, Hogwarts changed that. He was just like Regulus—always challenging the arseholes that jinxed her and called her a “Mudblood stuck in a Pureblood’s body.” He was like the older brother she never had while Regulus was someone so much more than that. Still, she valued the two more than she cared to admit—but this ultimately led to her being torn between the two.

Y/N and Sirius became best friends, but she  never once mentioned to him the love that she was slowly developing for his younger brother. Quite frankly, no one did—but she were perfectly content to revel in her silent feelings. Even when she drifted from him, even when he felt like she cared more for Sirius than him, she had to keep her feelings contained, quiet. She was afraid that Regulus would laugh in her face, thinking her fancy to be a gag.

However, neither Y/N or Regulus knew that Sirius was completely aware to both of their silent fancies. And he was going to get the two of them together if it was the last thing he did.

“It’s their sixth year, for Merlin’s sake,” he complained to James, Peter, and Remus, who were also completely aware of the two’s skinny love, “They should be confessing instead of behaving like a bunch of little shy gits.”

James was amused, but he himself was suffering through the same spell of lovey-dovey woe. “Mate, this isn’t any of our business. They’ll… eventually get it all out in the open.”

“What? When Regulus is already a Death-Eater and Y/N’s been killed by his lord?!” Sirius snapped, his fuse bursting into a shortage.

“You should calm down, Sirius. Like James said, we shouldn’t meddle in it,” Remus said meekly. He was just as aware of Sirius’s temper and he didn’t want to be at the receiving end.

Sirius gave the two a furious glare. “We are the meddling type! Everything’s our business!” he shouted. Peter, who sat in the corner nibbling on a Cauldron cake, jumped from the volume. “I just.. I know that Y/N’s been going through a rough time lately. She’d do with some happiness, and Regulus makes her happy.”

His friends were stricken speechless. They’d never seen Sirius so adamant on something. He was a compassionate fellow, but never to the point of wanting to do something kind for anyone that wasn’t a Marauder. The surprised looks on their faces was enough confirmation to Sirius on their agreement to the plan.

“Let’s get to it, then,” Sirius said determinedly. - - - - - - -

Y/N was busy scribbling away on an essay for Potions in the Hufflepuff common-room when Sirius, James, and Remus suddenly waltzed through the chamber-door. She looked at them, suspicion clear in her eyes upon seeing three of four Marauders at the door.

“Why are you here?” she asked, regarding them curiously. “You haven’t got some Professor chasing you, now do you?” When she’d given them the password the day before, she hadn’t expected them to come so soon. Y/N had been expecting Sirius to come alone, hooking up with some no-name girl in his year, but here he was with his Marauder-friends. What’s going on?

Sirius smiled and nudged James and Remus. They all took a seat, making it seem like a rather-creepy rendition of a black-and-white movie. Simultaneous, and choreographed to perfection. “We’ve come to see if you’d like to go to a party in the Room of Requirements tonight.”

Y/N’s eyes lit up before she glanced down to the pack of homework in her hands. Her eyebrows were knitted together when she glanced back up. “I’ve got quite a bit of homework,” she told them. “How long is the party?”

James now took the lead. He leaned forward, grinning at her like a crazed chipmunk. “Just an hour or two. It’s a small party.”

“Will Regulus be there?” she asked hopefully, looking between the Marauders.

James, ever-so-subtle, turned to look at Sirius and Remus. “This is going much better than I thought,” he said aloud. Sirius nudged him hard enough to leave a bruise, throwing him a deadly glare.

Y/N was confused. She looked to Sirius for an answer, but he simply shrugged. “You’re a Hufflepuff,” he said, like that was the answer to solve everything. “You and parties… don’t mix.”

“He’ll be there,” Remus said with a smile. “We already asked him.”

A smile lit up her face, and she looked to the floor, blushing lightly. “Well… that’s quite alright, then.”

“Starts at 8, love! Don’t be late,” James said, grinning madly. Sirius and Remus had to drag him back through the Hufflepuff common-room’s door, with several oblivious Hufflepuffs staring after them with wide eyes. Y/N was too caught up in a daydream about Regulus to bother seeing them off. - - - - - - - -  -

At 8 o’clock sharp, Y/N was outside the wall leading to the Room of Requirements, dressed in a pair of flouncy trousers and a dark-blue blouse. The Marauders had forgot to inform her what to think of when outside the invisible door, so she decided to just stand there and wait for someone to come by.

“Sirius? James? Remus?” she called out after a while, hoping there’d be someone to hear her. “It’d be kinda nice if you finally opened the bloody door…” Already she was beginning to grow suspicious, wondering where the hell everyone was if this was meant to some sort of sodding party. Y/N was on the brink of just leaving to avoid the entire situation. Sirius could blow a bloody gasket sometime tomorrow, but now, Y/N was just so embarrassed—

A strangled yelp cut her from her own thoughts. She whirled around, looking in every direction for the source of the sound, but she couldn’t find anything. “Wicked,” she muttered, but it was anything but.

Suddenly, before she could investigate, she was being pulled backwards through a door that had just appeared. After gasping and screaming herself into a bloody hoarse daze, she came face-to-face with Sirius Black. She stared at him, first in shock and horror and then in confusion.

“Sirius?” she choked out. Behind him, she could see Regulus, tied-up and laying limply on the floor like a rag doll. Remus and James were beside him, one looking a little anxious to get the hell out of there and another grinning manically, like a bloody circus-clown. “What—”

James pulled out his wand and muttered something. A burst of water spurt from the face of the wand, hitting Regulus directly in the nose. He spluttered, wiggling around like a worm. His eyes squinted upwards after he gained his composure, and he gave James and Remus the side-eye. “What—the—bloody—hell?” he breathed.

“Well, we’ll leave the two of you to your devices,” Sirius said cheerfully, pushing you in Regulus’s direction. James and Remus came up beside him, and with a flourish of legs and arms, the three were gone. Y/N ran quickly to Reg’s side.

“Oh my gosh,” she said frantically. “They told me they were having a sodding party!” She started to untie the binds around his wrists.

Regulus raised his eyebrows at her. “You believed Sirius?”

Y/N flushed bright-pink. “…The argument was believable. They’re always having parties.”

“Do they ever invite you to these so-called parties?”

“Well, no—”

“Then why the hell did you believe him?”

Y/N’s cheeks grew even brighter. “Well, t-they told me something, and I... I guess that made me forget to be suspicious.” She’d said too much, she realized. To forget her ignorance, she quickly finished untying the rope, leaving Regulus to be free of the binds on his wrists and feet.

“You could have used your wand, you know,” Reg was quick to point out, and Y/N just waved that off. “And what do you mean by that? The hell did those idiots tell you?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” she said quietly, biting her lip like some schoolgirl. Technically, she still was.

Regulus smiled at her, reaching out to poke her in the shoulder. “You know I would, Y/N,” he said. He sounded so genuine that she didn’t have the heart to lie to him anymore.

“Well, Reg, they, uh, said… that, well, y-you’d be there. And I was hoping you’d be there, and so I just kinda forgot about how weird it was to see them there in the Hufflepuff common-room, and I don’t know—” She cut herself off and looked to the floor, too embarrassed to continue. She felt Regulus shuffle closer, and before she could look up and burst into a string of apologies for her awkward confession, he lifted her chin to meet his gaze.

His eyes were softer than she’d ever seen, full of something that she couldn’t name. “Y/N, I know we haven’t been as close lately as we usually are, and I suppose I only have myself to blame. This past year or so, I’ve been having these… feelings, and they’ve made it so awkward and tense when we’ve hung around one-another. And, well, I’d say it’s because… I fancy you, Y/N.”

She never thought she’d hear those words from Regulus’s mouth. Never, in a million years. She thought he seen her as a little sister—but this… no, she could hardly believe this was happening.

“Oh, Regulus,” she said, nearly in tears. Before either could process what was happening, she went forward and slammed her lips onto his. She grabbed a hand of his hair while she was it.

It was like fireworks went off the moment her lips touched Reg’s. She went from feeling nothing but false hope to knowing they were soul-mates—feeling it in his kiss. She was so caught up in the love she felt for this boy that she didn’t even notice the three Marauders in the left corner of the room, under James’s invisibility cloak and watching the scene with a smile.

“Someone needs to pull Regulus out of that prison we call home, and she’s perfect for the task,” Sirius said. His best friends had no other choice but to wholeheartedly agree.

[goldenscript]

sad machines.

pairing: jung hoseok | reader genre: fluff, angst word count: 4,977 description: it’s the late night conversations that capture you. the enigmatic jung hoseok, rumored troublemaker and across the street neighbor, doesn’t depend on anyone else to lay waste his heartaches to but you.  author’s note: based on didrick’s cover of the song, ”sad machines” by porter robinson. you can listen to it here! and this unwavering idea based on my neighbors who are nocturnal creatures that stay up into late, ungodly hours like myself. 

“I don’t know much about your life beyond these walls The fleeting sense of love within these God-forsaken halls”

Jung Hoseok and the rest of his family took occupancy in the house across from yours after the previous owners decided it was time for a new venue. You didn’t complain considering they were always loud, annoying prepubescent kids blasting music and disrupting everyone else with songs and dances that seemed way too simple to you and complex for them to figure out. But within moments, you found that you were not particularly fond of the aforementioned either.

He’s loud, obnoxious, and very like the previous neighbors, who blasted their music from their garage a few million times for god only knows why, does exactly that until it’s late into the night and everyone else is supposed to be fast asleep. He often revs his engine with a wicked grin plastered on his features like an award-winning medal, especially when others voiced their complaints about it like it’s enjoyable to cause others frustration.

Of course, you’re among the few, growing the most flustered as you study up on formulas and vocabulary words meant to solidify your ticket out of a place that was far enough from this cursed place and close enough to be on call as per usual. It’s the life of the family person.

If there was someone your friend, mother, younger sibling could depend on, it’s you. You’re the one who will answer the call or the text, acquiesce, and do what you can to help at the best of your abilities, often doing your damn hard to make it possible because that’s just how you are. You can’t ever remember a time before this, and maybe this is how life has always been. Just a helping hand for those who need it.

You’ve daydreamed countless scenarios in which you go to a university nearby, finding your own little niche and acquiring more knowledge about your field with an open mind and heart until you’re able to work a normal job, send money to the family, and finally live for yourself. That’s all you want. To be free of this incessant need to be the one dependable so maybe you can sustain yourself for once. It’s weird to think that you can’t do this, but you know all too well that you’ve lived in a comfortable bubble for far too long, too wordless to free yourself because you’re not ready.

All you can think about that day is the fact that there’s a head throbbing mix of an engine and hip-hop music you can’t find yourself wrapping your head around because goddammit you want to get through this stupid book so you won’t fail and become your worst fear.

That day you storm over to his garage, fingers curled into fists at either sides of you,  lurking at the sidewalk for a moment until you’re at the entrance of the open garage where you’re greeted with loud rap music, a running engine, and now a pair of dark eyes from the very perpetrator enacting all these noisy distractions, you’re almost struck by how attractive he is at first glance.

With a dark mop of locks that are brushed away from his forehead, slick with perspiration, high cheekbones flushed from the mild heat and the increasing humidity of the garage, and in merely a tank-top and a pair of basketball shorts, showing off his lean-built body, you’re most surprised when you don’t see the traces of malicious contempt that others in the neighbor have place upon him. The only thing you see is a boy that’s being way too loud while you’re doing important things, and an unnerving stare he’s aiming in your exact direction. All the while a smirk curves on his godforsaken pink lips that have a biting remark waiting to get released, you just know it.

“Do you mind keeping it down?” You ask, raising a brow at him while your hands remain firmly planted on the swells of your hips.

He respond with a shrug, “I dunno, princess. It kind of messes with the ambiance if I try to accommodate for just you.”

Your eyes narrow slightly, growing more irritated at the nickname than anything else, “Really now?”

He grabs a towel off to the side, wrapping it around his neck to collect the droplets already meeting the collar of his top.

“Yes,” He nodded, gesturing to the stereo that blares some Chance the Rapper song, “This is to motivate me to keep going, and this,” He moves to his running engine, “tells me if I’m fixing up my baby correctly.”

He lets out a deep sigh, “As you can see these things are very key components in getting in fulfilling this project you see? I’ll stop when I’m done. I promise.”

You want to open your mouth with some kind of biting retort, much like the one he gave you, but you fall short. All you can do is shut your mouth and find that the blood boiling beneath your skin has become stagnant. Like many times before this, when you’ve confronted others for their mistakes, you can’t bring yourself to further the confrontation.

After all, you couldn’t really argue with that response considering he just said he’d lower it when he was done (whenever that was), and although you want to do so just out of the current state of irritation you’re in, it really isn’t part of your nature to have a full blown argument over something as trivial as this. It obviously wouldn’t stop him whether you continued to complain so you let out a deep sigh, nodding before turning to leave.

As you make your way back to your home that’s merely a few meters away in the mild mid-August heat, you can hear a set of sharp-toned yells emitting from within the Jung’s home that was met only with an increased volume of the stereo.

You turn to look over your shoulder without really thinking until you lock eyes with Hoseok, who was sporting a thin line on his lips until he caught you. He suddenly waves, sending a wink in your direction before turning his back to you in favor his car and you return back to your house where calculus homework and William Shakespeare’s Hamlet awaits you.

Though you can’t seem to get that dark-haired boy out of your mind or the brief yells that came from his house.   

Unfortunately, due to the fact that the houses within the neighborhood are cursed with close-knit spaces and thin walls, means hearing what Mr. Sanchez playing his trombone or Miss Lee shouting at her kids to hurry up from down the street wasn’t the most uncommon sound to wake up to everyday. However, it also means hearing the arguments from the Jung’s.

At first, you paid no mind to the dull hum of shouts emitting from the thin walls, but it became more apparent to you that it was not going to cease and that it was, in fact, coming from Hoseok’s home.

It felt weird to hear another argue from so far away. You’ve suffered through your fair share between your mother and her boyfriend whenever bills came into question, but you never thought of others and if they were arguing. Your only fear was them hearing your house’s shrill quips and shouts that seemed to last ages until they were calm enough to resolve through stresses. Perhaps that’s why you stared at the Jung’s from your front side window, watching as the lights were still on even at 1 AM.

It’s a Sunday night, and everyone else in your house is fast asleep as you lie awake with brows knitted and taut high upon your forehead.

You don’t want to admit you’re concerned for the irksome boy, but you feel pity for his younger sister, who took a liking to you soon after they moved in during the hot, late July. She’s a sweetheart you’ve tutored at the local middle school for your school’s community service requirement, and you adore her for trying so damn hard at math. She doesn’t talk much with the other peer tutors, but you seem to offer her a genuine comfort among the superficial smiles that are only there to get hours. At least with you she knows you care.

Because you do.

Despite needing it only to graduate, you enjoy your time with the middle schoolers, finding most of them pretty endearing whenever they chat away about their excitement of next weekend’s hangouts and gossiping about school life. There’s an innocence to them that reminds you of your own childhood albeit yours was not quite as exciting as theirs- you just love to see them smile without the stresses you faced as a kid transitioning from one city to this one without any familiar face.

You were lonely as kid, but nowadays you enjoy the solitude. Jiwoo often chats with you about feeling the same way whenever you’re both at a standstill in mathematics. She has a way of conveying her emotions through words, especially the small tangents she gets into that you find yourself sucked into until it’s time to move onto another subject or it’s break time. For a girl who’s barely going through puberty, she’s had to grow up awfully quick just for the sake of her family, and as you listen to her talk about how she feels and how lonely life gets, you can’t help but empathize with her better than most people you know in your high school. Maybe that’s why you’ve grown attached to her.

Sometimes you walk her home or invite her over, and she’s happy to have a surrogate older sister which warms your heart.

Of course, you’re always glad to help.

With a resigned sigh, you’re about to fall asleep with these floats about Jiwoo and Hoseok floating around your mind when you remember your mom asked you to take out the garbage before the following day when the collectors come by for its contents. It’s surely less than sixty degrees out, but you’d rather not stress your mother out on the trash when she’s been going on about the utilities. So you quickly shove off the warmth of your comforter, shrugging on a nearby sweatshirt and your shoes when your downstairs for the biting cold. It meets you as soon as the sliding door’s open, eliciting a momentary chill to invade your system until you’ve settled your limbs and made moves toward the dark green bin, grabbing hold of it whilst lugging it toward the now-open fence and settling it by the curb.

It’s somewhat still on the street until you find your eyes wandering across the street at the still-lit house where faint shouts intermingle with the chilled air. You stay there for a moment, zoning out in fatigue and thought when there’s a slam of a door that jolts you onto the street.

You shake your head, seeing a faint, familiar outline of Hoseok as he slams the door behind him and settles onto the curb without having noticing you standing less than three meters away.

You debate on going inside and leaving him alone, but the nurturing side of yours that wins out against all arguments -you have school tomorrow, he probably wants to be left alone, etc…- renders any niggle of a doubt moot.

All by a simple, So what?

“You okay?” You ask, cupping around your sweater-covered palms.

Your eyes squint against the orange-tinged street lights as he looks up at you in surprise. His eyes are wide and his lips parted in a small ‘o’ before he shakes his head.

You don’t hide your surprise that he admits to his emotions as you drop your hands to your sides, but you can’t blame him considering it’s one in the morning. This is the time in which emotions run high and the fatigue that runs through your bones break down the guards that protect inner desires and emotions. Sometimes you wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that since we’re like the stars, we’re ourselves in the night when everything down below stills.

Whatever the reason is, you ask, “You wanna talk about it?”

It’s a silly question, but you’ve found that many people tend to forget that asking still helps. You’re not nosy about what went on and what was said in the Jung residence. No, you just want him to be okay. For Jiwoo to be okay too.

He blinks at you, eyes narrowing into a squint for a split second until he turns back to his house with an expression you can’t read from where you are. You wait anyway.

Until he meets your eyes once more and replies, “I wanna get away from here first.”

When you ask if he knows where he wants to go, he shrugs so you say, “Well, I think I know a place. Lemme grab my house key and we can go.”

He nods, watching as you go and return through the front door, walking over to you as you both make a trek toward a nearby park. It’s not too far but it’s far enough to both your likings when you’re settled on the swing set, stuck in a still silence that settled between the two of you since the start of the journey.

You open your mouth to speak again but he beats you to the punch, glancing at the wood chips that cover the ground: “I want to get away from here. This town… It’s stupid, moving places after so damn long and for what? For a new town, a new school, a new job? I hate it here. I hate feeling stuck in a place where I know I don’t belong with people that don’t understand me just because I’m either ‘too troublesome’ or ‘too sensitive.’ It’s bullshit. I- I-”

He releases a sigh and grows silent soon afterwards. His eyes now turning to you.

“I’m sorry to dump this on you. I’m sorry you had to hear my parents argue. Shit, I’m just sorry and I don’t even know why exactly. I just am.”

You shake your head and reply, “It’s fine. Really, I think it’s okay to just let everything out. Just let it out with me. I can��t offer you a ticket out of here, I’m working on that one for myself, but I can I offer a great listener- any time of the night, you name it, Hoseok.”

He raises a brow at you, his lips curving into a small smile, “Really? You mean that, princess?”

“Yes,” You roll your eyes, “Talk my ear off, Jung. Might as well. What’s there to lose anyway?”

“You could tell other people at school that I’m a basketcase,” He shoots with a meager glare that fall shorts with the twitch of his lips beginning to widen.

You retort, “That requires knowing people enough to actually talk to them.”

He lets out a laugh, nodding as he continues, “Alright, alright. No need to diss yourself, princess. But y’know what? Fuck it, here it goes-”

Jung Hoseok, rumored bad boy, has a tale that surpasses frivolity. He aches for a calling in life that goes beyond academics. He knows all too well that his passions lie with the rhythmic beats of music that awaken his joints and fire up a passion that’s more than just a side hobby. It’s more than just something done in passing, and no matter how much he wants to break free from the comfort of his life now… he’s scared. 

He fears the worst of what may come because dreams are in places where the unknown surrounds it in heavily veiled fog, cloaked with a spell to seem unattainable and damn near impossible without a semblance of knowing what may come. He doesn’t know what may happen for his future and graduation will come in a few months. He doesn’t know what he’ll do when the time comes to collect his diploma. He doesn’t know if he’ll make it up to his dreams if he tries to follow his parents. He just… he doesn’t know, and that’s the scariest part of it all.

And among the problems that seem to stand hand in hand with home, you listen diligently, watching as he goes on and nod in times where he stops short just to check if you’re not zoning out on him though you’re sure he would’ve just pushed you over if you were falling asleep.

You watch as his chest heaves after a long pause between his huge tangent that never seemed to cease until he admits his fears, one you can relate to from your many encounters of existential crises that liked to pop in and say hello once in awhile. You tilt your head at him, “Better?”

He nods, “Much. Thanks, princess.”

A half-smile curves on your lips, “Good, I’m glad.”

The first night becomes a second and then a third and then a fourth then a fifth, sixth, seventh…

“I don’t belong here. I want to leave.”

“I just wanna get away. Find my place somewhere nice.”

There are nights where it’s below thirty degrees, and although you’re wondering why you both don’t ever opt for a warmer option, he comes prepared with an extra blanket to share as he goes on one of his tangents about family life.

“How do you feel about the future, princess?”

“The future itself is never certain. When you’re a high school senior, it feels as though the world’s against you when the only thing you know how and what to do seems to be your only option. It feels suffocating to imagine a life that is only limited to the choices you see in front of you, but it’s nice to have a friend that’s right by your side to listen to those heartaches.” Maybe suffer through a few of their own. I’ll be there, you can depend on me.”

It’s a night where the air bites at your nose, leaving you with an array of chills to decorate the skin with gooseflesh. You feel it seep through the sweater and jacket you’ve thrown on. While a shiver racks your body, you begin to wonder why you let the meeting place be outside. There’s a coffee house not that far off or even the comfort of your garage. All a symbol of security and warmth- both of which you’re lacking as you sit on the foreboding swingset at two in the morning.

And somehow you became exactly that for Jung Hoseok.

He never admits it, but you know that you’re a beacon of light in the darkness that is his life. He calls you at unforgivable hours with apologies on his tongue and hushed laughter when you whine in response to being woken up, but nevertheless, you are there for him when he needs someone the most.

He’s never had someone so willing to help him, and you’ve always been that person to many people. It’s him who is a particular case that you can never seem to rid your mind of. Sometimes you’ll ask him how he is on a random day, watch his window from yours, waiting to see a flash of light as he responds to your message; other times you like to call him, hearing his husky voice try to remain quiet as best as it can despite how easily a small joke can tip him over into fits of laughters that are sometimes halted by Jiwoo and her adamants pleas for her older brother to shut his trap.

You’ll laugh at his expense, only feigning innocence when he accuses you of getting him into trouble. You’ll apologize if he gets pouty with you.

It’s odd how easily a few nights of late night talks about the world and all its follies can turn two strangers into remnants of what could be considered best friends.

But you have no qualms to the comfort that Hoseok offers you.

In fact, you relish in his warmth and security, because unwittingly, he has become your own beacon of light.

He distracts you from home life and all its taxing responsibilities, giving you a sense of motivation that keeps you going without wearing you down like many day have once felt before. You feel like you’ll survive another day in this godforsaken town, and that’s more than enough to make you see him as more than just a person, more than just a guy.

He’s Hoseok.

Your rock.

“What’s goin’ on you with, princess? Any stresses to let loose on me?”

“Nah, I’m good.”

“You sure?”

“Positive… I’m good. Now what’s up with you?” Boy do I wish I could tell you…

Not that you’d admit it.

Time is slipping away.

You can feel it, because before you can blink it’s January.

That means a few more months until it’s time for exam season, then graduation. You won’t have plans with friends for the summer, only plans to babysit and take care of the responsibilities at home that your mother often needs a helping hand in. It’s your calling, your duty, and even though you can’t seem to breathe knowing that as soon as you return back to school, you’ll be piled with more assignments and projects about frivolous subjects that can’t seem to matter outside of academic walls (seriously William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar - you’re drowning with this guy; et tu?) you’re still sneaking away from your house to meet up with Hoseok.  

It’s only 1:31 AM, but you can see your breath in billowing clouds as you exhale, waiting for the dark-haired boy to make his way back to you.

He peeks from the door, slowly closing it behind him before he jogs over to you with a smile curving on his lips.

His eyes are bright even under the orange streetlights, simulating the sun’s bright rays rising from the dark grounds to illuminate the rest of the world. You feel warm though the slight shiver that wracks your forearms might say otherwise.

“What has you so smiley?” You ask with a tilt of your head.

He winks, “I’ll tell you at the swings. Let’s go!”

You two rush toward the swings, your limbs carrying you to the cool, plastic material. A squeal elicits your lips as soon as Hoseok’s hands make contact with your hips, moving you from your target to the opposite side of the swing. His touch lingers on one hip while the other hand is on your lips.

“Shush! You’re gonna wake the whole neighborhood, princess.” He plots down on the seat. “I win.”

You scowl, slapping his hand away before trudging toward the other swing. “Cheater.”

“All’s fair in love and war~” He replies in a singsongy voice which you cringe in response.

“You’re gonna kill birds with that singing voice, Hobie.” You deadpan, only dropping the resolve to snicker at the feigned hurt on his features. “Kidding~”

“Whatever, maybe I shouldn’t tell you my good news then.” He huffs, crossing his arms across his chest. He looks like a child, but you can’t help but pout, grabbing hold of his firm arm.

“Tell me! I wanna know what’s got you so happy.”

“Do you really wanna know?” He says, raising a brow at you from his position.

“Yes, Hobie. I do!”

“Well… remember how I said I wanted to get away?”

You nod, feeling an odd sensation build up in your gut. It’s happiness, uncertainty, and sadness mixed around.

“Well, my friend Yoongi said he could take me in. We’d be able to work on our music together. Can you believe it?” He’s grinning like he’s won the lottery, but you’re sure that this is the closest feeling to winning the lottery that he’s ever felt, and you feel your own bout of happiness and another indiscernible emotion intermingle.

But of course, you plaster a huge smile on your lips and respond, “That’s great! I’m so happy for you, holy shit…”

You blink for a second and ask, “Wait, when are you leaving?”

“In a few weeks…”

“What about Jiwoo?”

He scratches the back of his head, his lips fading into a slight line before he finds enough courage to meet your eyes. “About that…” He sighs, “I know it’s selfish to leave, but I talked to her about it. She knows how much it means to me, how much I need to get away, because unlike her, at least our parents don’t hate her. They don’t stress over her. They don’t scold her or get on her ass for not being on honor roll and pursuing ‘some stupid music thing…’ I-”

There’s a pause, and although the hand you held on his arm hasn’t left, you give him a squeeze and nod on for him to continue, muttering an “It’s okay… keep going.”

He continues, “I need this, princess. I need it so goddamn bad.”

“Do it.” You say immediately.

His eyes widen slightly. “Really?”

“Well, I can’t stop you even if I tried. And I’m just happy to see you happy.”

His ear-splitting grin splays on his lips and his arm grasps the arm you’ve had on him, giving you a tug and bringing your body against his. He squeezes your torso tightly, resting his chin on your shoulder. It’s so gloriously warm now. Not the fake warmth that spread inside, but now it’s travelled between the outside and in, filling you to the brim with emotions you want to stave off more than ever.

“I was actually a lil’ nervous to tell you, princess.” His voice is low.

“Scared I’d try to tell you to stay?”

“No…” You feel him shake his head. “Was scared to see your reaction. I didn’t wanna see you cry or somethin’.”

“Pfft, you’ll cry after you leave me. Watch.”

You can feel him grinning, squeezing you a little tighter. “If I do, promise it’ll be our little secret alright?”

Squeezing him back, you nod, “Whatever you say, Hobie.”  

When he leaves, no one else really bats an eyelash.

But you know he’s gone.

You know it so damn well, you can feel the emptiness without him or his stupid revved engine or his too-loud music blasting from his garage stereo. You know it in the way he would leave his blinds open just for you to see if he was up. You know it in the way he would call you out at 1 AM just to talk about anything and everything. But most of all, you know it in the way your heart feels like it’s missing a piece.

You push on. Only because you have to.

School doesn’t wait for those who aren’t part of it. Nor does life. You can’t say your life stopped when he left, but you can certainly say that your life is back to the ways before he was in it, back when you’re stuck in the monotonous bubbles of school, homework, house chores, and the other wonders that are meant to build your character a s young adult.

You’re back to a life where the only joy you get is listening to your middle schoolers talk about their social lives. It’s that life. That life in which everyone else runs you dry of your assistance and still expects more.

One would think that maybe Hoseok did the same before he left you, but it’s not like that at all. You never thought you could depend on another person; after all, you’re self-reliant, responsible, and perfectly capable, but with so much time spent with a boy who was considered a rebel, a delinquent, and a bad boy, you see more than meets the eye.

You see him for a boy who needed someone when he was alone. Someone who needed a pillar, a support, a rock.

You see him as someone you could depend on because even in the worst of days, he could pull your mood back to top order with a mere carefree grin, a tug of your wrist, and a destination neither of you could pinpoint until you were right there venturing and forgetting what had you so fucked over.  

The tears that slip past the corner of your eyes feel all too sudden, but you feel the onslaught of overwhelming thoughts. They do not relent.

SAT scores, college applications, jobs, future, projects, assignments, adulthood, responsibilities, repeat. Hoseok. Where are you? God, I miss you.

It’s lunchtime now. Just midday.

You suppose it can’t be helped when it’s been like this for as long as you could remember that late January day. That was at least two months ago. Now it’s almost May.

God, you can’t breathe.

Without thinking, your own limbs act on their own accord. You don’t remember getting into your car, but you do and you’re driving away, ignoring the stares sent your way as you fly out of the parking lot and into a secluded parking lot in juncture between the town and the city. Your fingers tap on your plastic cellphone- a number you’ve memorized without meaning to.

You take a leap of faith in that moment, not thinking about whether he answers or not, but you hope to God he will.

Please please please. You beg until there’s no longer the monotonous rhythm of the dial tone and instead it’s the sound of his voice laced with its usual roughness-

“Princess, this is a first. What’s up?”

You can’t tell if the traces of huskiness are from just waking and you’re convinced that you don’t care anymore. You just want to see him.

You need to.

“There’s a first for everything… Can we meet?”

“I’ll depend on you”