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topguncortez · 2 years

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Bad Medicine | Chapter 2

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word count: 5.4k

synopsis: A wealthy Italian mobster sets up his daughter to marry the head of one of the last remaining mafias in California. The union was supposed to create and heal the damage between two families, but all it does is cause more harm than good. MAJOR SLOW BURN (ENEMIES TO LOVERS)

WARNINGS: death/murder, guns, violence, physical abuse, cursing, mentions of prostitution, mentions of murder, grief, blood, nudity, mentions of drugs, mentions of a brothel

Y/N’s apartment looked over the upper East Side of New York. It was a cute little place that was within walking distance to the club. It gave her both things that she loved, the chaotic life that came with living in New York, and privacy to where she felt safe coming home at night. And that was partially because of Rueben, aka Payback, her bodyguard that Rafael had hired when she moved back to New York. That was part of Rafael’s deal in sending Y/N back to New York, she had to have a bodyguard. Y/N was smart though, and could figure out how to leave her bodyguards in the dust and jet off around the world, except Rueben could see right through that all.

Y/N stood on the balcony, taking in her surroundings for the last time. She hadn’t stood out on the balcony in a long time. Good and bad memories filled her mind as she held her cup of tea close to her body for some warmth. Images of her relationship with Francisco filled her mind and sent a shiver down her spine. She also thought about all the good times she had while working at the club. Sure it wasn’t the best job she could ever have, but she loved the girls she worked with. She was probably going to miss them more than anything.

“Y/N?” Gianni asked softly, “You ready?”

Y/N and Rueben had spent the whole night packing. She looked over at the small carryon and purse sitting on her bed. She packed the essentials to make the trip over. Her brothers would be sending the rest of her clothing in the coming weeks.

Y/N took a deep breath, she wanted to tell him no. She didn’t know a thing about Jake Seresin, to the internet it was like the man didn’t exist. She knew that he supposedly studied law at University of Texas, but never went past that. He took over for his father when he had a heart attack nearly two years ago. It was all fabricated bullshit about “Seresin Enterprises” and how they bought several blocks of casinos and clubs in both Vegas and San Diego. Apparently they had been on the FBI’s radar for sometime due to an underground boxing and prostitution ring. However, they claim no such truth about it. Which was something all mobsters said.

“Y/N, we gotta get headed to the airport. The Don is mad we held it off this long,” Paulo said walking into her room. Y/N sighed and walked into the room, leaving the warmth of the morning sun, “You got what you need?”

“Yeah, Payback took my bags to the car,” She answered and fixed herself in the mirror. She wore a simple skin tight black dress and paired it with matching black heels. Her tan skin looked sunkissed compared to the dark colors. She looked around at her barren apartment and frowned. She didn’t have a lot of stuff to begin with, but seeing it all boxed up made her feel kind of sad. Y/N nodded, and Gianni gently led her through the house and towards the waiting car.

“Wait,” Y/N said, and turned to face her brother, “Have you heard from Sophie? I haven’t heard from her since she left for Greece and I know she’d want to be a part of this wedding bullshit.”

Paulo looked at his two brothers, as if to tell them to keep their mouths shut. Narciso clenched his jaw and Gianni whistled, looking away from his little sister.

“I have not heard from Sophie,” Paulo answered, “But I’ll make sure someone reaches out to her.”

“She’d kill me if I got married and she wasn’t there for it,” Y/N smiled sadly and pulled her phone out, dialing the number again. Paulo ushered her into the car as Sophie’s phone went to voicemail again. Y/N sighed and left her yet another voicemail.

When Y/N arrived at the small private airport she noticed the black SUVs and armed men that were standing around. She would try and make a break for it if it weren’t for the military style weapons ready to fire at any moment. One would think that the president or some diplomat was about to land, but in reality, it was just some man from Italy. Although the Santiagos had slowly defeated their enemies over the years, some still lurked in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to strike.

The Don stepped out of his own vehicle when the Santiago siblings arrived. He looked pissed and Paulo fixed his suit as he walked over to talk to him. The patriarch stared his daughter down through the dark tinted glass of the SUV. She gulped and looked over at Payback who simply shrugged. He didn’t want to do this anymore than she wanted.

“Do you want to make things easy?” Payback asked and Y/N nodded, “Don’t try and fight every little thing he says.”

“You know me better than that Rueben,” Y/N smirked, and opened her car door. Her heels clicked across the ground as she walked up to her father. His stare sent a shiver down her spine, and it made her hold her head up higher, trying to show him that she was not afraid.

“No funny business, Y/N. You get on the plane here and off in San Diego. I hear you made the pilot take you to England or Paris, I will cut off the expenses for the wedding,” Rafael threatened Y/N. The girl rolled her eyes, “We’ve set up for you to be married to Jacob in four weeks.”

“Four fucking weeks?!” Y/N cursed and was met with another backhand across her face.

“Watch your fucking mouth,” The Don yelled, “This is why you couldn’t find a husband on your own.”

“Maybe if you would give me a damn chance!” Y/N yelled.

“Why? So you could find someone else to murder someone in our family?!”

Y/N clenched her jaw and looked away from him. She had heard it almost every year since her mother’s death, Rafael never let her live it down. What happened to her mother was one of the worst things that Y/N and her family could’ve gone through, but no one knew that Francisco would turn his anger towards Marie. Her brothers forgave her for what happened, but Rafael still held it over her head.

“Are none of you going to say anything!?” Y/N yelled at her brothers. They were all looking down at the ground, not bothering to jump in and say anything, “Spineless fucking idiots,” Y/N cursed and licked her lips, “I’ll see you in hell, Rafael.”

Rafael stood with his head up, his jaw clenched as he watched Y/N and Rueben walk up the plane steps. She sat down in a chair that was by the window. She watched as her brothers wouldn’t look at the plane, but the Don looked like he was ready to give an order to shoot it down. Y/N knew once the plane took off he would scold her brothers for telling her about Francisco, but the Don didn’t dare punish the boys in front of her or anyone else. People needed to know the boys were untouchable, but Y/N’s life was useless.

“Miss Santiago, can I get you anything to drink?” The flight attendant asked.

Y/N looked around the small jet and noted who the security was. There was, of course, Reuben and what looked to be like his new partner. Rafael hardly let Y/N go without two guards. The last one had been killed because the Don caught Y/N and him together. The new guy was all of 6 foot tall, with tan skin and a scar running down his face. His dark hair was gelled back and it looked like he had just bought a new black suit and dress shoes. Payback could see the glint in her eye and knew exactly what was going to happen next.

“Well, Rueben will have a Hangman IPA, I’ll take whatever red wine you have open, and a glass of whiskey for the Rookie,” Y/N smirked. Payback rolled his eyes, knowing Y/N’s plan like the back of his hand. This wasn’t the first flight he had taken with her and some new rookie, he had seen this episode before.

“We can’t just have one plane ride where you leave the Rookies be?” Reuben asked, and Y/N just smiled, “You know what’ll happen.”

“Then why not enjoy the fun while it lasts,” Y/N said as the flight attendant handed her the glass of wine, “Leave the bottle please, dear.”

“Laying it on thick,” Payback said, taking out his headphones.

“My life has been signed away, Reuben. These are my last moments of freedom until I have to go wait on some mobster hand and foot,” Y/N said and Rueben frowned. He glanced outside the window to see that the black SUVs that carried her family were gone.

“Fine,” He muttered, “Just know this one is on you.”

“Of course,” Y/N nodded, her eyes going over to the Rookie who was seemingly confused. She just gave him a wink, and settled back in her chair as the pilot told them to prepare for take off. Y/N closed her eyes, she wasn’t ever a fan of planes taking off, she always felt like she was going to fall right out of the sky.

Once the plane got up to cruising altitude, Y/N opened her eyes and looked at the Rookie, “Have you ever joined the Mile High club?”

“N-no, ma’am,” He said. He had a thick country accent, making him out to probably be from the South.

“Perfect,” Y/N smiled and stood up, taking his hand in hers and leading him to the private bedroom in the back of the plane. Payback groaned in annoyance, and pulled his earbuds out of his pocket. He settled them in his ears before going back to look through his magazine.

“They never learn.”

— — — ♱♱♱ — — — ♱♱♱ — — —

When the plane finally touched down in San Diego, California, the skyline was already starting to light up. Y/N smiled, noticing the familiar sight of the skyscrapers in the distance. Rueben followed behind her, straightening out his suit, and looking at The Rookie behind him who had a smirk plastered on his face. He felt like the king of the world having bodied the princess of the Italian Mob. The Rookie fixed his suit jacket and ran a hand over his gelled back hair.

“Good evening Miss Santiago, my name is Martin, and I’ll be handling your movement from the airport to the Seresin compound,” Martin was a middle aged man who had salt and pepper hair. Y/N held her hand out and Martin kissed the back of it. Y/N’s favorite pastime was making men bow to her like she was the Queen of England. In a way, Y/N was a queen, the mafia queen. If Y/N was into old men, Martin would be added as another name on her list.

“How was your flight? Everything went smoothly, I assume?” Martin asked, as he ushered Y/N towards the awaiting white Range Rover. Her father hated white cars. He said it made them stand out too much and put a bigger target on their backs.

“Yes the flight went very well,” Y/N said, and glanced over her shoulder at the Rookie. He smirked to himself, and fixed his suit jacket. He felt like he was the king of the word having bagged the Italian Mob king’s daughter. But that feeling was short lived as Rueben tightened the silencer on his gun, and then fired a shot into the Rookie’s skull.

“Clean this mess up,” Reuben said to the men standing by. Martin opened the door for Y/N, and she noticed a group of men picking up The Rookie’s body. She looked at Rueben who was tucking his gun back into the holster of his jacket.

“What?” Reuben asked, and Y/N nodded her head towards the body, “I told you not to.”

“Mood killer,” Y/N said and Rueben shook his head, shutting her door before getting into the front passenger seat.

The Seresin mansion sat in the neighborhood of Mission Hills, which was about ten minutes outside of San Diego. Y/N had only visited a handful of cities in the US, and had only been to California once. She understood why mobsters picked quite poor towns to set up shop. The busy hustle and bustle of the nearby ports could mask the terrors that the mobs did. Y/N eyed the prostitutes as they hung around the street corners in downtown San Diego.

“Those are someone's daughters,” Her mother used to say when they would pass a young female on the street in barely there clothing. Her mother would take them in, like stray cats, give them food and a place to bathe, before they would run off back to the streets they know.

“Everything is pretty close,” Martin explained as they drove through the busy streets, “It’s no European country side, but it suffices. Los Angeles is about two hours by car. San Fran is two hours by jet. Mr. Seresin has his own private jet. It’s one of the best ways to travel around. Sometimes, they’ll take a private train. Although, most of his work is done in Miramar or North Island.”

She knew that from the google search that she did. Jake owned a flight club and a bar in North Island called the Hard Deck. It was a quaint little place that attracted a lot of sailors to the area. It also just so happened to be where his brothel was set up. If there was anything Navy men loved more than causing a fight, it was getting pussy after a long trip out to sea.

“What is the legality of their business?” Y/N asked.

Payback looked at her in the rearview mirror, “You know what they do.”

“I can’t ask questions to get to know my future husband? I am going to be investing in this, so it is only fair that I know what he is doing.” She had a point and both Payback and Martin knew it. Y/N was smart and knew how to play her cards correctly, “Tell me what they do.”

“Mr. Seresin’s grandfather set up a very vast trading company back in New York during the twenties. The Seresins own and control almost 50% of the US trading ports. Seresin Trades is working on going global with the help of Mr. Santiago. Mr. Bob Floyd has been fast at work creating Seresin Industries, one of the fastest startup technology companies,” Martin said.

“A trading company,” Y/N tilted her head to the side, “How unique. And the brothels, fight rings, clubs, and casinos, those are just. . . extra amenities?”

“Athena,” Reuben warned.

Y/N held her hand up stopping Rueben, “Martin?”

Martin scoffed, “You act like your family is the greatest gift to God’s green earth.” As soon as the words left his lips, Martin regretted it.. Y/N glared at him through the rearview mirror and a cold sweat broke out down his back, “I apologize.”

“A little too late,” Reuben said and Y/N smirked.

If there was anyone who knew Y/N better than her own brothers, it was Rueben . He had become her personal bodyguard after Francisco attacked her and her mother’s death. Y/N had gotten too smart, she figured out how to run away from her guards. So Rafael hired Rueben , and the man watched her like a hawk. Y/N was never out of his sight. He had not only become her bodyguard, but also her closest confidant. She could tell him anything and everything.

Martin’s knuckles turned white with his grip on the steering wheel, as he turned on to a magnificent compound. The black gates rolled back as the SUV drove onto the marble driveway that was lined with black lamp posts. Buried behind the trees was almost like a castle. The Kiszka house stood tall, at least 3 stories, and had a complete wall of windows.

“Mr. Seresin likes windows. Makes him feel less caged in.” Martin said as he pulled up in front of the house. There was a large water fountain in the middle of the circle drive and Y/N could see water lilies floating around in the water.

“Lovely,” Y/N said. When the car came to a stop, her door was opened. She reached her hand out and a guard gently grabbed her hand, helping her out of the car. She smoothed down her dress as Rueben quickly rounded the car to her side, “Where is he?”

“I believe they are at the club, or getting ready to go,” Martin responded. The glass front door opened and an older woman stepped out of the house.

“Welcome Miss Santiago,” She introduced herself, and bowed her head softly,“I am Emile, I will be your personal attendant. Do you care for a glass of champagne, maybe even wine?”

Y/N took a step into the house, and looked around the foyer. It had high ceilings that opened into a glass grand staircase. Everything was red and white, giving the entrance a cold yet warm feeling. The living room was open, and had white leather couches and a fluffy black rug on the floor. Hanging above a roaring fireplace was a picture of a young man in a black suit. She stood in front of the picture, the man’s green eyes were enticing and almost as if they were locking her in a trance. She looked away at the sound of the front door opening and Rueben walking in.

“I’ll take a bottle of white,” Y/N said to Emile, “And please take the bottle to my room. Oh! And if you would, can you draw me a bath? I don’t like the feeling of blood on my hands.”

Rueben scoffed, “You’re one to talk.” She could see a smudge of blood on his collar, more than likely from killing Martin before he walked into the house.

“Yes, Miss,” Emile nodded and scurried off towards the kitchen. Y/N stepped farther into the house surveying everything. She walked over to a set of windows and glass sliding doors. She looked over the backyard, an infinity pool and giant garden that looked daunting at night, caught her eye. Y/N made a note of wanting to test the water in the pool at some point tonight.

“He would like you to come to the office,” A guard said, standing in the doorway of the living room.

Y/N turned around to see about ten or so men standing in the living room, all of them wearing black suits and ties.

“No,” Y/N responded, a smirk on her lips. Her eyes not leaving the reflecting water of the pool, and kicked off her heels. She reached for the zipper of her dress and undid it. Payback also knew this tactic, and rolled his eyes. Y/N let the sleeves of her dress fall down her shoulders, and shrugged the dress off, wearing absolutely nothing underneath. All the men standing around her tried to avert their eyes the best they could, but failed miserably.

“I want a bath first,” She said.

“I can’t let you do that,” The guard responded.

“Why not?” Y/N asked, stepping closer to him, “Do I turn you on?”

“I-I. . . Mr. Seresin had strict instructions-”

“I bet these pants are feeling pretty strict,” She let her hand shamelessly trail up and down his body, before landing over the clothed hard-on

“Please,” The guard practically begged. Y/N smirked as she gently palmed him, “You’re going to get me in trouble.”

“What are you going to do about it?” Y/N challenged. Before the guard could respond another gunshot rang through the house. Y/N shrieked as the guard’s body buckled and she moved out of the way to let him fall. She looked over at a tall man with curly hair, holding a gun out.

“That’s what I’m gonna do about it,” The gun wielding man said. He tucked the gun back into the waistband of his black dress pants. He was tall with beautiful brown eyes with scars on his face and neck. Y/N smirked and walked over to him, but he held his hand out, “Don’t think about it. Let’s fucking go.”

Y/N opened her mouth but squealed as he threw her naked body over his shoulder, “Hey! Put me down!” She yelled, hitting his back. The man tightened his grip on her body so he wouldn’t drop her as she kicked and squirmed in his arms, “Payback!”

Reuben took a step forward to try and intervene but was cut off by guards standing in front of him, “Just keep your mouth shut!”

Y/N felt a shiver run down her body, “I’ll fucking kill you,” She threatened the man.

“I’d like to see you try,” The man said and tossed her down onto a cold leather chair, “Wait here, don’t fucking move.”

Y/N looked around the office, seeing more pictures of the man from the living room. There was a bookshelf with tons of old leather books with gold writing. Y/N narrowed her eyes, reading the titles on the side, most of them were in Latin, but she could understand that they were law books. There was a large dark oak desk in front of her, which must belong to her future husband. On the wall behind the desk were various diplomas from colleges that he must’ve gone to.

He’s distinguished, Y/N thought to herself, and smart.

Y/N almost got out of her chair to go explore more things around his desk, when she heard the clicking of fancy dress shoes coming down the hall. She sucked in a breath as the door opened, and a beautiful blonde man with green eyes stood in the doorway. He was wearing all black, with his shirt rolled up to his elbows. He forewent the tie, and Y/N could see he was wearing a thin gold chain around his neck.

“You couldn’t give her the dignity to walk in here by herself? With her clothes on?” The blonde man asked.

“She didn’t want to,” The man with the gun shrugged and looked over at a man who was wearing a big pair of glasses, with a smirk, “We lost Martin and Dominick.”

“Fucking idiots,” The blonde cursed, “Welcome Y/N, I’m Jake, your new husband.” He held his arms out as if he were presenting some great prize. Y/N looked him up and down, he looked like the human version of Adonis, “My beauty stunned you into silence. It happens, sweetheart. But thank you for finally joining us.”

Y/N scoffed, “You basically bought me from my father to help your little group here get up and running.”

“Oh don’t flatter yourself sweetheart. You weren’t the pick of the crop I wanted,” Jake said, but then shrugged, “No offense.”

“Offense taken,” Y/N said, “What? I’m not good enough for you? You prefer underaged prostitute pussy instead? I bet, he-” She said pointing at the man with large glasses, “Would you like a taste?”

“Not my type either,” He said, “I like my pussy tight and silent.”

Jake chuckled and Y/N clenched her jaw. He walked towards her, his green eyes looking her up and down as if he were examining her. She felt like she was under a microscope and wanted to hide away. She was suddenly very aware that she was sitting naked in front of three guys who could easily kill her, and had no idea where Rueben was.

“Where are your clothes?” Jake asked.

“I like being naked,” Y/N smirked, sitting back in the chair, exposing more of her body. Jake looked like he was about to murder everyone in the room. He looked from her face to her chest, his eyes seemingly assessing every millimeter of skin, down her stomach and to her legs, which were crossed hiding her modesty. Y/N caught the wandering eyes of the men behind Jake, and slowly uncrossed her legs, opening them slightly. That was the final straw for Jake, as he moved quickly, snatching her up by her chin.

“I was told I was getting a mafia queen,” Jake spat, holding her throat tightly, “We got rules, sweetheart, and you’re going to listen to them, got it? Or I swear to god, I’ll fucking sell you for whatever your worth to the highest bidder. I’m sure these-” He said, tracing his fingers between her breasts, his knuckles brushing against the soft mound of skin, “could get me a pretty penny. Of course, the face is a little fucked up.”

Y/N clenched her jaw at the mention of the scar that ran down her face. Her eye socket had to be repaired and left a permanent scar, a constant reminder of what Francisco had done to her. It was easy for her to hide the other scars on her body, that one, was out in the open for everyone to see. Her mother told her to not hide what he did, to embrace it.

“Understand me?” Jake asked and Y/N nodded. He released her chin.

“Asshole,” Y/N said, before spitting in his face. Jake clenched his jaw, and grabbed her hair, yanking her head back to look up at him.

“Don’t fucking test me, sweetheart,” Jake seethed, “I won’t hesitate to throw you down on the pew, I don’t give a fuck who your daddy is. Don’t fuck with me, doll.” Y/N trembled and nodded. Jake picked up her body and put her down on the wooden chair, harshly. Her ass still stung a bit from where the curly haired man had thrown her down earlier.

“If you’re done being a brat, I’d like to introduce you to my right hand men. The one that brought you in here was Rooster, he’s in charge of security. You need to go somewhere, you take it up with him. If he tells you ‘no’ you don’t fucking argue. This is Bob,” Jake said, pointing to the man with the glasses, “He’s intelligence. Don’t try to fucking go somewhere or call someone or do something fucking stupid cause he’ll find out about it and I’ll kill you.”

“And what do you do?” Y/N asked.

Jake smiled, “I’m the Hangman. I am the reason this whole place ruins and operates. The face of the family and the company.”

“Bob would’ve made a cuter face,” Y/N said and looked at the man. Bob couldn’t help but chuckle, but Jake quickly shot him a glare. Y/N sent him a wink though, which made his ears turn red.

Jake crossed his arms over his chest, “I’ve got a couple rules. One, don’t be in my way or anyone else's way. Two, don’t fucking speak to me unless you are spoken too. And three, don’t piss me off. If you follow those three rules. . . I don’t see why this relationship won’t work out great.”

“Because you’re a fucking psychopathic murderer.”

“Says the one who’s gotten three men killed in your first two hours of being here,” Jake said.

Y/N smiled, “You say that?”

Jake leaned his hands on either side of the chair she was sitting on. She could smell is cologne and see a thin scar by his eyebrow, “I see everything,” He spoke softly, “Go fucking clean yourself off. I don’t want to see your face until tomorrow.” Jake said and turned to walk out of the office, “Actually, I don’t want to see your face at all, unless I fucking ask to see you, which I probably won’t. I don’t want you here any less than you actually want to be here. If I knew you were a part of the expansion gun deal we made, I would’ve never fucking made it.”

Y/N tried to not let his words sting. She had heard worse from her father, but there was something about hearing it from someone else. Y/N turned her head to the side as Jake and the boys left the office with a slam of the door. As soon as the door shut, she let the tears roll down her face. She waited a minute before she got up from the wooden chair and walked out of the office. She was suddenly very aware that she was stark naked in a mobster’s house.

She moved softly as she walked down the hallway, trying to avoid the eyes of the workers in the house. Y/N looked up and noticed Emile walking towards her with a robe. The older woman smiled softly at her and handed her the robe. Y/N nodded and wrapped it tightly around her body. Emile gently wrapped an arm around the girl’s shoulders, guiding her over to the grand staircase and up to the second floor.

“Mr. Jacob and the boys went out for the night,” Emile said. She had a heavy french accent that reminded Y/N of some of the older maids back home at her father’s mansion, “I ran a bath and had some of the other guards bring your belongings into your room. Any specific way to put your clothing away?”

Y/N shook her head, “I can get that tomorrow when the rest of my things arrive. Thank you, Emile.”

“You are very welcome, Miss,” Emile said, nodding her head as they stood outside one of the bedrooms, “The master bedroom,” Emile said, pushing open two wooden doors. Y/N’s jaw dropped at the sight of the bedroom. It was white with red accents that reminded her of the suit that Jake wore. Hanging above a california king bed was a picture of the fucker himself. Y/N scoffed, of course, he had a picture of himself hanging above the bed, “Mr. Jacob doesn’t stay here. He prefers a bed on the third floor with his brothers.”

“They are all very close?” Y/N asked and Emile nodded.

“Very close. They all served together in the Navy.”

Now that was one thing the internet did not tell Y/N. That meant one of two things, they never served long enough to make an impact, or the Navy was trying hard to keep them all a secret. Whatever the reason was, Y/N was going to find out more about it.

Y/N walked over and ran her hands on the satin bed sheets. They were soft and still smelled like the packaging. The room had an overall cold feeling to it, like no one had ever stayed in the room. Y/N could tell that the paint on the walls wasn’t the original colors. She could see the slight difference in paint colors as the walls met at the ceiling. She ran her hands over the footboard of the bed, humming to herself as she did.

“Is that tune from ‘Annie’?” Emile asked, and Y/N lifted her head, smiling.

“It is.”

When Y/N was little, before she knew most about what her family did for a living, she used to play around like she was the little Orphan Annie first coming to Daddy Warbucks’ house. She used to play the song ‘I Think I’m Gonna Like it Here’ while running up and down the halls with her mother, making the butlers and the maids sing along with her. She did it at every house she moved into, it was one of the good memories she had with her mother.

Y/N paused and looked at the picture above the bed, and then at Emile, “When will they be back?”

“Oh, they stay out very late,” Emile answered, “I see them leave at night and stumble around the next morning with hangovers.” She smiled and sighed, “Your bath is waiting for you, dear. Any questions, don’t be scared to ask.”

“Thank you.” “They aren’t all monsters,” Emile said, “Just a little rough around the edges. You know what they say, ‘only the good die young’.”

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jackjackal · 4 months

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Unpopular Opinion...

I don't hate it...but I'm not a huge fan of H2O season 3 (I might even write my own rewrite like I'm doing for HoA)...but here's why:

Bella is GREAT...but she's absolutely no Emma (and she's not supposed to be...I know!) All I'm saying is that her character is a little on the Alex from Totally Spies level (which again is not a bad thing!!) BUT Alex 100% got overshadowed by Clover and Sam...and I think that Bella's the same way in H2O. Rikki and Cleo are just a little bit more interesting character-wise (just in my opinion). Which means Bella is a lot like Sirena in the Mako Mermaids Netflix spinoff...she can sing BEAUTIFULLY, but other than the singing...she really just follows Will around the whole season like a lost little puppy (as does Sirena to David) and she doesn't do much of standing up for herself (at least in episodes 1 - 15). Even her power is kinda a reflection of her character...it's like slime...something that's cool and fun to play with, but eventually you get bored with it. What I mean by this is that she 100% was brought on board for looks (even Bella stans have to admit she has WAY more scenes in fancy dresses and bikini tops than Emma, Cleo, or Rikki) and because of this it muddied the whole theme of the show a bit by going against EVERYTHING H2O stood for (female independence and power...power not from the ability to turn heads or from their mermaid abilities, but from their own strength of character and intelligence, emotional or otherwise). In the end, Bella just does not meet the standards to replace Emma (and I don't think she was meant to...but still). Her character is just not as dynamic...and I think that's one of the things that makes me not rewatch or like S3 as much as S1-2.

They changed ALOT. I said it to one of my friends earlier...S3 is like that episode in S2 when Ash takes over and changes the cafe. It's just too much too soon. The JuiceNet becomes Rikki's, Bella replaces Emma, Will's there (we'll get to him later), Sophie's there (Neo-Charlotte who's less of a good villain), Sam's there, all of them are older by a noticable amount and Zane has a haircut like a 70-year-old, Mako's going insane with creepy tentacle creature thing, and the whole freaking theme song changes to be more fast-paced and "hip" with a lot of what sounds like to me to be autotune. Now I realize change is good and everything...but it really just makes me sad to watch the whole thing. ESPECIALLY when Lewis leaves (I think my heart was crushed and spat on). He was being all cute and romantic in this season with Cleo too :'( BUT, overall I liked a lot of the changes (Bella, as I mentioned was fine just maybe not as good as Emma was, Drummer!Lewis my heart, and I enjoyed the family antics with Sam...so I really didn't mind her being in it, it was cute that Don fell in love <3 ) Summary of this point: I don't like change and Emma was not my fav character but she was MY character (the most like me). When she left...it kinda made me think of things...like am I replaceable?? Anyways...moving on...

Will. Pretty much enough said with that. He's arrogant, too obessed with power and mermaids, and way too mean to Bella. He treats her like dirt most of the season and makes me wonder like...is Will the real villain of S3??? Also they make his character out to be like he's a merman just without the powers (with the whole free diving arc)...and it's honestly kinda like he's a Byron wannabe but also a weird Frankenhybrid of Dr. Denman, Zane, Zac (from Mako Mermaids), Erik (from Mako Mermaids), and idk now I'm just listing people. His character is just kinda strange to me because first of all where the other guys have their faults, they're also sensitive and romantic at times. Will is not. He's just kinda annoying. I even like Nate more than him lol (cause at least his character isn't two-faced like Will's...he's always been NateTM). Anyways...Will and Sophie are like the evil but not evil? dynamic disaster duo of S3. They're both just kinda not fun to watch...which brings me to Sophie.

Sophie. Again, enough said. She's a Charlotte wannabe with all her red hair, snooping problems, and obession with Will (which is kinda a little weird...but not unlike Charlotte's obession with Lewis...except they weren't brother and sister...yikes). She also presses my buttons, which, good job show writers. But it just makes it a little like this has happened before. What's new? Also makes the season a little less rewatchable.

I'm really just ranting at small details now, so I'll get to my last and ultimately largest point. Season 3 lost the magic for me. When I was rewatching for the zillionth time...I noticed this rather huge change. Seasons 1 and 2 I was MESMORIZED. The water, the ocean, the pleasing details of Emma, Cleo, and Rikki having the white, purple, and red motifs throughout, the details of small little scenes like how in the episode with Rikki's father she held a CHIPPED mug and her father held a non-chipped one like she felt her image was broken/imperfect based on their lack of money and less impressive house while the dad could care less and was honestly proud of it (wooooah, okay sorry about that, but like that scene made me sooooo happy as a writer like UGGH...writers/directors made gold with that scene). Anyways, details like this were just not there in S3 (well vitrually not there...there were some like when Sophie wore Rikki's color red to impress Zane)...almost like the whole message changed from being about struggles of being a teenager and growing up to yay mermaids!! And let's focus more on the image/humor of the show as opposed to teaching us important morals. It just...kinda lost it for me. It just was not nearly as magical as S1-2 and I'm not talking actual magic. I'm talking vibes and inner magic...and all that shiz.

Overall...I give S3 a 3.5/5 ⭐️s Decent if you want more of a H2O fanfic experience but just NOT as good as the OG mermaid trio and OG guys (Lewis, Zane, and Ash...Byron you were great too, but not as good as Ash).

Which brings me to Ash...okay, okay jk! I'm not gonna steal more of your life than I already have. But just know that if I get around to my S3 rewrite idea (which I already have the plot decided and everything) then you'll be seeing a lot more of him! Woot! Thanks for reading and putting up with me. Feel free to chat with me anytime your feelings on H2O season 3 or any topic really! I love chating with fellow obsessees!💖🧜‍♀️

#rant post #h2o just add water #H2O season 3 #read at your own risk #unpopular opinion #bella h2o #season 3 #ao3 writer #feel free to rant #with me #what do you think?

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p-perkeys · 2 months

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NYX Stuff... A.K.A. PK Bitches Again

Sophie and Kamala is an interesting friendship pair. To be honest, I would like to see Sophie and Laura interact a good bit. Especially after all that stuff with Gabby and the mind fragment and all. What is Marvel's aversion to putting characters together that make sense? What is their aversion to building on and referring to their own canon? This only book one though, so. I'll chill about it.

To be honest again... didn't love Laura's interaction with Kamala really at all. I liked her being protective but they definitely gave her the Logan Special on her personality. Stabbing a phone and being vaguely mysterious and dark was... a little cringe. A little too Logan. Laura knows how to talk to people. Kamala's gotta be just a little older than Gabby. Should've been easier for Laura to level with her. Think of all the times (even recently in Blood Hunt) Laura's had to go help Gabby because she got into something she shouldn't have. Laura's never been condescending to her. I don't think she would actually be that way to Kamala either. Could've been a nice interaction between them. But no. We got weird and cringe instead.

I don't really know anything about Kamala, so I apologize in advance, but, still in regards to the interaction with Laura, I didn't like her there either (I'm being a hater today. Sorry). Maybe I just read it all wrong. But. Laura got the Logan Special and Kamala got the Naive Teen Special. "Being a mutant doesn't mean you don't get to have a life." - huh??? Was that supposed to hit hard or something? They're lacking personalities to me. Like, real personalities.

You could write that dialogue with any two characters and it would basically work.

Again though... this is only book one. I know.

I liked Prodigy being a college professor. Anole was cute but even he felt a little bit off to me. Just like a little bit.

Julian as the Krakoan - not hating it yet. Interesting to see the other Cuckoos with him. Not even gonna try to guess what's going on there. I'm anticipating Laura and Julian to interact on some level. Hoping nothing romantic but usually the opposite of what I guess is what happens, so. I'm already trying to warm myself up to whatever might go down. I just don't want all of Marjorie's deep story-telling to be swept away because someone wants to write about horny college kids. Marvel kinda likes that sometimes.

I'm gonna keep reading it because I want to support Laura being in the books. However, I'm significantly less excited about this now.

I think the next book is really Laura-central. Hoping it gets better.

NYX #1 from 2000s had me sobbing after book one... in a good way. This is such a different vibe.

#nyx #laura kinney #wolverine #my own thoughts #my own interpretation #maybe everyone else liked?#i didnt think it hit on much #was underwhelmed

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alaydabug2 · 4 months

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@sparklenarniawizard

Broken heart/Broken mind

Chapter Twenty-six

(Human AU)

Sophie and Keefe met in the children's hospital when they were little. Because of how long they were confined to the four walls of the hospital, they became very close during their stay.

As the years pass, they wind up being in the same classroom together due to their physical conditions. This makes their bond deepen.

But are they able to handle when life gets tough, throwing problems and complications their way?

"Where's your parents?" Keefe asked, plopping on the edge of the bed next to Sophie.

"Visiting Jolie," she murmured. "She would have been twenty today."

"Oh...," he whispered. "How are they holding up?"

"They're taking it a bit harder this year. I asked if they wanted me to come, and they said it'd be best if I stayed home this time."

She scooted over on the bed to make room for him. He slid his legs under the covers next to her.

"That makes sense." He reached over to grab one of the extra books on the nightstand. "How are you doing with it?"

She shrugged. "I'm ok. I never even got a chance to meet her before she died."

"Yeah, but... is it ever hard knowing you could've had a sister."

"I do have a sister," she insisted. "I just think think of her has my guardian angel."

Keefe smiled. "I like that." He let her snuggle into his arms before asking, "How did they end up adopting you, anyway."

"They had actually ended up signing up for fostering before Jolie died. So when they got a call that I needed somewhere to go, they didn't have the heart to turn me down. I stayed with them for a few months, and they ended up fully adopting me."

"Do you know anything about your biological parents?"

"I know my bio mother gave me up because my bio father had died before giving birth. Other than that, I don't."

The two of them sat with each other reading. Sophie moved her head out of the crook of his neck to say, "What exactly... are we, right now?" Cause we're not just friends anymore, but we've... never established anything."

"Well... I wouldn't mind being together," he eventually spoke. "What do you want?"

"I wouldn't mind it either. I'd just have to ask my parents if we'd be allowed to." She fiddled with her fingers. "What about you? What will your parents say about it."

He snorted. "Cute that you think they could care less about my love life."

Sophie's face fell. "Oh. Alright then."

They went back to reading their books for the time being. After a few hours of reading and talking later, there was silent shuffling in the kitchen. Her parents were home.

"Hey, Keefe," Sophie murmured. "I don't mean to kick you out or anything, but it might be best if you head home for today."

Keefe nodded. "I understand."

They walked out to the living room. Grady and Edaline were putting their things away. They waved the two kid and went to the couch.

Sophie said goodbye to Keefe, then went to join her parents. Grady strangled her in a hug. There was a little sniffle. "We love you, kiddo."

"I love you too," she whispered back.

A few more sniffles and a sob from Edaline. They held onto her like a lifeline for an hour or two. When it was time to make dinner, she joined her mom in the kitchen.

As they sat down to eat, Sophie had to ask, "Am I... allowed to date?"

Grady seemed surprised with the question. Edaline had a soft grin hidden on her face.

"Umm," he pondered. "I don't know. You're still pretty young."

Edaline elbowed him. "Well, don't you think it depends on who it is, dear."

"I suppose," he admitted. "Are you just curious, or is there someone particular?"

Sophie looked down at her plate and nodded."

Grady raised his eyebrows. "Oh. Well. Who is it? Do we know him?"

Sophie nodded again. She picked at her food. "It's Keefe."

Edaline let slip a little giggle. Grady turned to her. "Do you know something I don't?"

Edaline shoved another piece of food in her mouth. "I didn't say anything." To Sophie, she said, "For the record, I am perfectly fine with it."

Grady lowered his voice to a hush. "I don't know, Eda. They're in eighth grade."

"Didn't you just say it depends on who it is?" She asked. "They've known each other forever."

"I know. That's the issue. I don't want her to get her heart broken."

"Honey." She reached up to cup his face. "It's Keefe. Do you really think he'd hurt her?"

He sighed in defeat. "I guess not." He turned back to his daughter. "I... suppose that it's ok."

Sophie smiled. "Thank you."

"Of course. Just... be responsible, ok? "

"We will," she promised.

After dinner, when she was in bed, she texted Keefe.

'My parents said it's ok!'

'Great! Now, I can officially say, will you be my girlfriend?"

Sophie couldn't help giggling.

'Yes. Yes, I will.'

'Alright, Foster, goodnight. See you at school tomorrow.'

'Goodnight'

#keeper of the lost cities #kotlc #kotlc sophie foster #kotlc keefe sencen #sokeefe #fanfic #broken heart/Broken mind

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kprdotexe · 10 months

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Hello. Are you going to write your opinion on Tagatha?

I have no clue how old this ask is. Imma be so honest, I'm only now learning how this system works but YEAH SURE I'LL TALK ABOUT TAGATHA

haven't touched the books in a hot year or so but i remember some spirit waking up inside me and making a google slide so i have guidance, let's allow my brain to catch up as i read this.

Disclaimer, I think the book should have ended at 3. I think any further kinda rips away the happy ending those three had so my opinions are that of the first three books.

Now, I enjoy a good enemies to lovers as much as the next person but my _god_ did I not like it with Tagatha at all. They just never seemed to really get each other??? The constant bickering was never really cute to me and maybe I just need to reread it, but it always seemed like their romance was very surface deep.

They were both kids— teenagers basically at this point in the story both in societies that glorified one side and villianised the other, so their opinions and way of going about things reflected that. Honest to god? Great set up, didn't like the execution. I feel like it's because it never felt like Tedros was even meant to be a love interest in the first book.

Tedros had a lot of good traits to him in the first book (heck, mans became my favourite character when I started writing him because I found him and his story really interesting) but he just never felt like a person to me at that point. It never felt like this love story that made me want to ship them, it just... set the stage of everything really well.

He was there to be an obstacle, at least to me! One of the many things Sophie had been dreaming of her whole life but then couldn't have. From a technical stand-point, I could only imagine Tedros and Agatha being together to further add to Sophie's anomosity and jealousy and further show that the girls were in the right schools.

Agatha was a princess, in her Good School with her Prince who she would then marry and make her a Queen. Agatha was meant to be the best, both because she obviously was and to give a good subversion of tropes, and Tedros fit the bill.

And maybe that's the intention and if so, okay! but it never appealed to me as all.

Their original relationship felt a fair bit rushed as well. While confidence in a person does make them more attractive, does it really just erase all the previous history they had?

Like okay, if we're relying on Tedros just being a himbo and focusing more on the pretty face (something I despise mind you) alright, fine but Agatha? She also lets bygones be bygones, forgets all the valid arguments and the reasonable dislike she had for Tedros? Seriously?

Their dislikes of the other were valid! And even when they did good things or things that kinda went against what they thought, how would they be sure y'know? They never talked. Never had a moment where they sat down and just tried to understand each other and that was highkey the worse part of it all.

I always thought it'd be something nice to have the two learn from each other, or rather grow with the other because they both have very harsh views on the other gender— based on upbringing both harsh and limiting but they always just fell back into the habit of just assuming the worse of each other. And maybe I'm too aro for this and maybe the book is just a product of the time (I still didn't like it then though) but I never got the arguing like a married couple thing.

Why is that cute? Like yeah, sometimes spending time with one another can have you learning new potentially annoying things about each other that you dislike but my god, not a scrap of understanding out of either of them? I guess that's how you can tell they're young.

The worst part of their bickering as well is they never actually work through a good few of their issues! The plot (or the Storian, I suppose) just moves them along to the next thing so they have to work together and thank god they can manage that at least.

In the grander scheme of things, it just sucks for the both of them! They're kinda just nudged towards each other by fate and just stuck together because the Omniscient Magic Pen said they were meant to be and they just rushed into it.

So, that's my opinion on them. I like them both! But I just don't ship them. Honestly, I think they belong with other people. (Maybe prioritise some healing from past trauma and deconstruction of some core beliefs before yall jump into relationships but that's just me.)

#school for good and evil #agatha of woods beyond #sge tedros #tedros of camelot #sge agatha #character analysis #i don't touch this blog for more than a year and i come back with this #what you do /lh #if i got something horrendously wrong forgive me and correct me it's been a time #is he back? is he writing? who knows !!#he writes a bit give him so time to catch up

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ash-and-books · 9 months

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Rating: 4.5/5

Book Blurb: A charming opposites-attract romance, Love, Naturally by Sophie Sullivan is for anyone who ever stepped outside their comfort zone and found that all the best things can happen when you take a chance.

Presley Ayers is not the woman you bring on a camping trip. An accomplished concierge at an exclusive hotel in Great Falls, MI, she knows more about the top ten places for champagne and caviar than she does about the best hiking boots to go stomping around near Lake Michigan. But when she surprises her boyfriend of eight months with a vacation to the Get Lost Lodge and he dumps her instead, Presley decides to rough it solo and take the trip herself.

When Beckett Keller helps the gorgeous woman off the rickety boat and onto Lodge territory, it’s clear to him she's made a mistake. She doesn’t like hiking, fishing, or nature in general, so why did she go on this trip? He’s got other things on his mind though—a crumbling lodge, and his own plans and dreams that are forever deferred—so he doesn’t have time for Ms. Fish-Out-of-Water. Even so, neither Beckett nor Presley can help that inexplicable draw they feel towards each other. He’s all rough stubble and plaid shirts, while she’s all high heels and brand-name athleisurewear.

But you know what they say about opposites.

Review:

Deciding to go on her ex's dream vacation after a terrible breakup, Presley Ayers finds herself falling in love with the cozy Get Lost Lodge, the community, and a reserved but very sweet guy. Presley thought she'd surprise her boyfriend with his dream vacation, as a way to reconnect despite their relationship being a bit rocky only for him to tell her she is too demanding and he didn't want to go with her. Presley gets dumped by him and decides that she's had enough of trying to constantly please others and that she would take the vacation for herself and try and step out of her comfort zone on the trip. Presley is going to be staying at the Get Lost Lodge and hopefully, trying out new things and relaxing. Cue, Beckett Keller, a reserved and off the grid guy who's family owns the Get Lost Lodge. Beckett has sworn never to fall for any of the guests who stay at the lodge and that he'd focus on helping his family maintain their lodge. Yet when some booking issues occur, Presley and Beckett find themselves sharing a cabin and spending more time with each other. Despite their clear differences, they are drawn to each other and the chemistry between them is growing. Yet, Presley is only staying for a week and this fling was only suppose to last a week and end right...? Or is this actually the real thing and all the fake dating between them is actually something very real. This was such a cute and cozy romance. It definitely felt like a cute getaway and all the fun and sweet romance vibes of Hallmark movie (a good one). I loved how Presley and Beckett fit together and they really were so good for one another. They had great chemistry and the background characters were fantastic. I adored meeting Beck's family and the fun Lodge community. This really is such a cute feel good sweet romance that I definitely think would be a easy read for people!

*Thanks Netgalley and St. Martin's Press, St. Martin's Griffin for sending me an arc in exchange foe an honest review*

#book review #bookish #romance #love naturally

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kudosmyhero · 7 months

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (IDW) #31: Northampton - part 3

Read Date: May 30, 2023 Cover Date: February 2014 ● Story: Kevin Eastman ◦ Bobby Curnow ◦ Tom Waltz ● Script: Tom Waltz ● Art: Sophie Campbell ● Colors: Ronda Pattison ● Letters: Shawn Lee ● Editor: Bobby Curnow ●

**HERE BE SPOILERS: Skip ahead to the fan art/podcast to avoid spoilers

Reactions As I Read: ● Alopex and Raph playfuly sparring is damn cute

● yay Leo! ● 👏👏👏👏

Synopsis: Donatello and Casey are rebuilding a motorcycle and debating the merits of sabermetrics. Don thanks Casey for helping him, and Casey tells him it's no big deal, since it got him out of going to the library with April O'Neil. Casey tells Don that April's father John used to work at StockGen. Don laughs and thinks about his and Leo's conversation the other day about fate and destiny.

In the woods, Raphael is practicing tai chi when Alopex approaches him, saying she didn't figure he was the tai chi type. Raph takes a dig at her, asking her if tai chi isn't violent enough for the Foot. She tells him she was never in the Foot Clan for the violence, she just wanted to feel like she belonged somewhere. Alopex tells Raph how after she was mutated, she felt like a mix of two things that were never supposed to go together, like some kind of freak. She tells him how the Foot gave her a sense of belonging, like she had a family. Until she realized that she had a family, a real one, until the Shredder killed them. Raph sympathizes with her, telling her how after he was mutated he was on his own for a while, until he was finally reunited with his brothers and Master Splinter. Raph and Alopex share a rare moment of friendship, and then Alopex makes fun of Raph for practicing tai chi again. The two engage in a friendly sparring match.

Leonardo sits besides a pond and examines his katanas. He thinks back to when he and Raph fought while he was still under the influence of the Foot Clan's brainwashing. Leo begins training, until Splinter approaches and he pauses. Splinter asks him if he's heard that some people believe that a sword, once drawn, cannot be returned to its scabbard until it has tasted blood. Splinter explains that this is moreso a myth than any real creed, romanticized over the years. Yet, Splinter explains, all myths bloom from seeds of truth. Splinter tells Leo that a sword is merely an extension of the warrior who wields it, a tool, incapable of bloodlust, bloodlust being a human emotion. Leo asks what Splinter is getting at. Splinter tells him that the Shredder tried to make Leonardo his sword, and then deemed him a failure when he failed to draw blood. Splinter points out that a warrior's blade need not taste blood to be useful, and that Leo should not feel like a failure; it was the Shredder who failed. Leo doubts that Splinter really understands how he feels. Splinter tells him that there was once a time when he too felt the same way, but it was Tang Shen who helped him through it, who was pregnant at the time with the child who would be Leonardo's past human life. Splinter acknowledges that he knows Shen recently appeared to Leo to offer him guidance, much to Leo's surprise. Splinter tells Leo that he will not allow him to give up on himself, out of respect for Shen.

In the barn, Michelangelo is excited that Donnie and Casey have finished their work on the motorcycle. Mikey wants to take it for a test spin, but Don tells him that would blow their cover. Just then, April pulls up in her van and steps out to reveal a surprise—a new haircut!

As April and Casey drive up to April's parents' house, Casey asks her if she found anything out about StockGen. She tells him fire inspectors are looking into faulty wiring as a possible cause of the explosion, but she doubts it was anything like that. Casey asks what else is on her mind, as he can tell something is worrying her. April pulls out a vial of ooze which she brought with her to study, and with the help of her father's notes, she's figured it out. She says it's healing properties are near limitless, and even the tiny amount she has could heal any wound. She worries about how you decide what to use something so powerful on. Casey stops the van to tell her that she's overthinking things. He and Splinter are used to healing without the aid of magic ooze, and he knows who she's thought about using the ooze on, someone who could really use it—her father. Casey tells her that if she's sure its safe, she should use it to heal her dad. She tells him she cross-referenced the code on the vial with her father's notes and is sure its simply the healing ooze, not mutagen. April wonders how to give the ooze to her dad without telling him about it, which would lead to a lot of questions she can't answer without revealing the existence of Splinter and the Turtles.

In the barn, Splinter, Raphael, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Alopex are talking and eating sandwiches. Mikey wonders if its good or bad that StockGen is gone. Donnie says either way, its a shame that they've lost a link to their past, but in any case their main focus has got to be the Technodrome. Splinter uses this opportunity to tell his sons that before their fight with Shredder and the Foot, he infiltrated StockGen on behalf of Old Hob, to fulfill the favor he owed him by procurring some mutagen. Splinter and the Turtles guess correctly that StockGen's destruction was the work of Hob and Slash. At that moment, Koya and four Foot Clan assassins crash through the roof of the barn, interrupting their conversation. As Splinter, Don, and Mikey engage the Foot attackers, Raph notices that Alopex has slipped away, and immediately assumes that she conned them all and lead the Foot there to kill them. While Don and Mikey are occupied by the Foot assassins, Splinter battles Koya but is slowly overwhelmed. Koya asks Splinter if he is ready for the slaughter when Leo arrives and says, "That's funny, bird, I was gonna ask you the same thing."

(https://turtlepedia.fandom.com/wiki/Northampton,_part_3)

Fan Art: Only in the Darkness by dgLari

Accompanying Podcast: ● Shellheads - episode 62

#idw #idw comics #my idw read #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #comics #comic books #fan art #fanart #podcast recommendation #podcast rec #shellheads

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madamhatter · 4 years

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it’s a cool, rainy day outside and the ultimate gamer fell asleep on the small couch in the common room. what to do?

Affable spirits gather and loners disperse inside the shelter they refer to as home, properly known as the Main Course dormitories at Hope’s Peak Academy. Dulcet drizzle greets the closed window panes of the common room, lethargic grays washing the scenery outside to a day meant to inspire languor yet could create a humdrum. Not a ray of sunlight poured into the room, only the tint of ashy drowsiness that oft accompanied such occasional summer rain shaded the room.

Any remnants of color existed in the form of the sleeping princess laying across the white couch. Rosette stains painted her lips, partially parted with content hums from her long-awaited and frequent slumber. Powdered blush pink curls frame her placid expression, lids heavy and at peace with repose, and her pale face turned away from the cushions.

Utterances of the indistinctly nonsensical left her lips, folded right-arm unmoving but her reached out left-arm flexing slightly with her fingers curling in. Whisked away into the illusory realm of dreams, Briar Rose left her rainy reality to an escapist’s paradise. Yet, her form in the true world remains at peace, undisturbed, and greatly protected.

In the well-preserved and wide collection of stories protected in the grand libraries like in the Kingdom of Novoselic, and much like in ancient monarchies as the aforementioned country, the stories of princesses had their expectations. A princess was never without their guard. Stationed at the side of the couch, dressed in well-worn grays and only a hand’s reach away from the resting form of the ‘princess,’ was someone. Well suited was her morose gaze, readying daggers for any potential disturbances. Yet, she was not a knight and there should have been a knight.

At the side of the couch had not been an armor-clad and proud figure. Indistinguishably silent, yet not the more honorable and noteworthy, her presence was never accounted for in such fairy tales. Knight, guard, warrior, king, queen, witch, dragon, fae-- all roles one could play a part in the story. However, she who rested at the side of the princess was one without a written role.

Not a role worth spending a key or ink stroke on. It is a role that is uncredited and nonexistent in the lines or in between the lines. A figure existing outside of the story, that was her fate.

And her name was Sophie.

Hatmaker, custodian, gardener, caretaker, etc. -- all different masks she wore for her faceless existence. A fate without rhyme or reason, fortune, and joy, that was her’s. Shapeless and empty, she could do what she must with her meaningless purpose.

It was all whimsical blarney, how tiredly her head rolls with such a thought, to allow herself to be whisked away like this from the rain.

Tiredness reveals sobering truths that may never otherwise come to light. Ashy-gray locks cascade over her dark cardigan’s shoulder, eyes glazed over by the impending heavy lids daring to shut.

Yet, she couldn’t help herself being caught in the charm that accompanies such a life she knows as ‘Sleeping Beauty.’ Perhaps, one could call it bewitching. The pun animates an exhausted smile on her lips.

At the flat palm provided by the ‘princess,’ her flushed cheek rested against it. Far too carefully, far too scared, she would’ve drawn closer and applied pressure. But, what would’ve happened it she awoke her? What if she felt what hid in her heart? What if her own burdens were too heavy if everything came to light--?

Her eyes flutter shut, reveling in bliss.

Yet, pessimism was a coldness far too dense to thaw so soon. Fairy tales didn’t exist and she was simply Sophie. Her eyes slowly open, huffing, and her usual frown erodes any previous mark of happiness.

Her place known, her existence meager, and she still found herself hesitating to continue with such philosophy. A conundrum, she notes, a terrible one that she couldn’t keep herself in.

Impermanent sweetness is deadlier than anything she’s known. It could ruin everything she’s lived for. And it intoxicated her far too quickly; from a glance with pink posse irises that lingered moments too long to a smile that exposed her shrewd heart, it could spell disastrous. A potency she could have never imagined, something that shook her core, was sleeping behind her, aimlessly muttering twaddle.

She should’ve followed her old procedure. She should’ve taken the initiative and taken the other to bed, quietly tucking them in, and leaving the common room empty and available. She should’ve switched the lights off and closed the door -- severing any chances of losing herself again.

But, she didn’t. Instead, she sits alone in the presence of happiness that will sooner erode her staunch facade. Her sweetness was the hatter’s undoing.

How much longer could she fool herself, she marvels at the inquiry. For how long until the clock strikes midnight and this game of imagination disappears? How long could she dance and lie before the magic dissipates and the truth comes out?

Nothing could come out of this anyways.

Happy endings never included people like her. Endings, too, would never include her. That was the divide between them.

She had nothing, could do nothing, and will have nothing.

She was simply Sophie Hatter.

She countlessly wished she wasn’t.

Maybe it would’ve soothed the unbearable, impossible emotion she has for a story that would never have the ending she wanted.

A painful breath escapes her, reality strangling the whimsy from her mind. Its unmoving spirit resides now in the graveyard of her hopes and dreams she created when young and had her wings clipped.

Something hot trailed down her cheeks, something that clouded her vision, and shriveled her heart. It wetted her face. Yet, she will not admit what it was. Just in the same way she couldn’t speak out loud what came from her heart.

She could only wish again and again. None answered, but she clung to one childish thought that they might.

She wished she wasn’t caught up in this unfolding tragedy -- this humiliating realization.

She wished she wasn’t in love.

#( checkbooks inquiries and much ; answered asks )#( verse: the ultimate ᶠᵃᶦˡᵘʳᵉ hatter | school life )#koagema #[ ...this was supposed to be cute but sophie's mind is something - ]#self deprecation tw #self deprecation #depression tw #depression #self hate tw #self hate

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newtonsheffield · 2 years

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Can we see the first time rockstar anthony woke up next to kate?? Assuming they were together…

Hmmm... just a little

Anthony was scared to open his eyes. He didn't mind admitting that after last time when he'd drifted to consciousness rolling towards where he was sure Kate would be, only to find the bed empty and his heart had slowly shredded itself as he'd started down at the note on the nightstand.

Thanks for last night. Excellent fuck as promised. x K

And here he was, the situation a little too familiar, the taste of Kate still on his tongue, and the smell of her on his bedsheets and his heart pounding in his chest. He reached out, his arm searching for her, and found... nothing.

Anthony let out a sigh, his chest aching as his eyes slowly opened. Something stung at his eyes as he looked around the room, no sign of Kate anywhere, disappointment welling in his chest.

It had been a possibility, he supposed, of course it had been. But he thought it had been different, this time, when he'd stood on that stage and begged her to love him. He'd thought it had been different when she'd wrapped her arms around him so tightly and her lips had crashed against his and there'd been tears shining in her eyes as she'd brushed his hair back from his eyes. And he'd thought it had been different when they'd tucked the tiny puppy into a blanket before they'd fumbled through the door of his bedroom and her hands had tugged at his shirt until in had ripped right down the middle and he'd laughed Ooo destroying your own handiwork hey stitches? And it had felt different as her hands had clung to him as they'd moved together and her forehead had been pressed against his. But it hadn't been. It hadn't been different at all. And now he didn't even have his tour to focus on.

"Time for a drink I think."

He stood from the bed, running his hands through his hair trying to ignore the churning in his stomach as he made his way through his house, numb to almost everything until-

"Oh my god!"

"Anthony!"

Anthony spun towards the voices with a startled shriek, his heart pounding in his chest as Sophie sighed.

"Anthony, how many times? I don't buy you pyjamas for my own amusement. Wear them!"

But Anthony wasn't paying attention to her, he was staring straight past Sophie perched at the breakfast bar. Kate was sitting at the kitchen table, her clothes from last night looking a little rumpled, her hair disheveled, the tiny corgi puppy on her lap his tail wagging as he caught sight of Anthony.

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you crying?"

His breath shuddered from his chest as he rushed forward, tugging Kate forward, crushing her against his chest, breathing her in deeply.

"I thought you left."

Kate let out a little sigh, nestling closer against his chest, her nose against his neck."No, you're stuck with me now."

"Good."

"I am gonna have to ask you to put those cute little tighty-whities on though. Your penis is resting on my hand."

"Of course, Yes. I love you."

#like a hurricane #kathony #anthony x kate #kate sharma #kate sheffield #anthony bridgerton #molly’s asks and answers

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imherongraystairstrash · 2 years

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hey can i request will and tessa having a discussion about having children because how they were not sure if they could die to tessa being a warlock and then could we have a really cute kiss scene at the end.

Helloo!! Soo, I took some artistic liberties with this fic, mostly because I read the request and as I was writing, I sort of forgot some things you requested, so I had to go back and edit it 😂 Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! I tried my best to add in everything you requestedd

Also, if you guys want me to write the scene where Tessa tells Sophie is pregnant, I'd love to write it!! (tell me if you want to read it tho loll)

I love you even though I hadn't met you yet— Wessa fic

Tessa blew air into her cupped hands, trying to bring some warmth into them. Winter patrols were definitely not ideal, seeming as to the fact that the cold, London night air seeping deep into the bones, penetrating the light gear used in normal nightly patrols. It almost would have been favorable to have a demon attack, for then the exertion would at least bring up her body temperature, though, even then Tessa wasn’t so sure she could find it in her to fight said demon. Thankfully, the sky was starting to brighten up, meaning the sun was coming up, bringing the end of tonight's patrol with it. Tessa walked the length of the roof she was on, and stood at the tip, watching the sky. She let out a low whistle, one that was answered almost immediately by her patrol partner, signaling he was close by.

Not a minute later she felt said partner’s hands wrap around her waist. Tessa laid her head back on his chest, pressing close to him for warmth. She tilted her head up to find two dark blue eyes looking down at her.

“Oh, no! I think I’ve fallen in love with my patrol partner.” Will said.

“How scandalous!” Tessa said.

“Do you think the Consul could pardon me?”

“Seeing as to the fact that the Consul is your good friend, and that you’ve been married to your patrol partner for almost six years now, I think you may be let off easy.”

“I suppose that is true. Which is good, since it means I can do this.” He lowered his head and kissed her lips. It was gentle, though it didn’t last very long, because Tessa could stop laughing.

“You wound me.” Will mumbled against her lips.

“I’m laughing at the position, not at you.” Tessa said, “men have such fragile egos.”

“And women are cold-blooded.” Will said, kissing her temple. Tessa shook her head, smiling despite herself.

They watched in silence and light slowly began to fill the sky. Will rested his chin on Tessa’s shoulder, his hair tickling her face. Since he had the hood of his gear over his head, his hair wasn’t snowy, something Tessa savored, since his soft curls were like a warm blanket against her chilled skin.

“Soon we can go home and sleep the entire day.” Will said.

Tessa closed her eyes and hummed, grinning just at the thought of it.

“Yesterday, when I was Gabriel up at 8 in the morning with Anna after nightly patrol, I almost felt bad for him.”

Tessa shook her head. “Poor Gabriel and Cecily. Though I do believe that when you have a child, you’re willing to make such sacrifices. I’ve heard it’s one of the most profound loves one can experience.”

“It could be.” Will said. “Though, I’m positive having a child isn’t the only way to experience such love.”

Tessa nodded, knowing he was probably saying this to make her feel better. Suddenly she turned around.

“Will, I want to have a child.”

Will stilled. After a moment, he gently brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I know, Tess,” he said softly. “But we can’t.”

Tessa looked into Will’s eyes. They’d desperately tried to have a child a couple of years back, though they’d stopped after a year. Will suggested it, perhaps to save Tessa from the pain of knowing that they couldn’t have a child together because she was infertile. No matter her husband’s efforts to save her from the pain, however, it was always in the back of her mind.

And yet, there was a part of her that knew she could have children. Anyone else would call it wistful thinking, that Tessa was allowing denial to lead her into delusions of being able to bear a child.

She still remembered the first time they’d discussed having children. Will had been unsure at first, not because he didn’t want children of his own but because he worried for Tessa.

“Are you sure, Tess? You must remember that you are immortal, and any children we have may not be.”

Tessa shook her head, looking into his deep blue eyes. “Will, I chose to marry you, even though I knew that you would age and I would not. I can’t limit what I experience in my life simply because I will eventually have to lose it. I would rather have the memory of any beautiful child we may have than live in regret because I was too afraid to love.” She put a hand to his cheek. “And there is nothing I want more than to share a child with you, Will.”

Will turned his head and kissed the palm of her hand. “Of course I agree with you Tess. I only want you to not suffer.”

“If I suffer, it’s because I have memories of a life that was so wonderful, that it pains me to not be able to go back. But I want those memories. I want to be able to carry them with me my entire life. If suffering in the future means I got to live a lifetime with you, it will have been worth it.”

Will kissed her. It was tender and filled with love. “I love you, Tess. I love you in this life, and I’ll love you in my next.”

“Silly Will, you don’t remember your past lives.”

“Silly Tess, Of course I’ll remember you, because you are imprinted on my soul. To forget you would be to forget myself.”

Since that day, no matter how many times Tessa’s cycle would confirm that she was, in fact, not with child, she didn’t let it break her spirit. She was convinced that she would get pregnant soon enough, they just had to try harder.

Looking into Will’s eyes tonight, however, Tessa let out a deep breath, one that had been resting on her chest for a very, very long time. She let her shoulders fall in defeat and felt her eyes sting. Will’s eyes softened considerably and he bent his head to look into her eyes. He held her face in his hands as Tessa felt twin tears fall from each of her eyes. She put her hands up to grip his wrists.

“My lovely Tess. How I hate to see you like this.” Will said, pulling her close into a tight embrace.

Tessa wrapped her arms around his neck, letting herself cry on the crook of his shoulder. Will bent so that his cheek rested on the top of Tessa’s head. His hand rubbed circles on her back, its reassuring presence bringing some semblance of reassurance to her. She let herself fall apart in Will’s arms, knowing he’d be able to catch even the tiniest pieces of herself, so she might later string them all together again.

She didn’t know how long she’d stayed in Will’s arms, only that, at some point, Will whispered her name into her ear.

“Tess,” he said, kissing her temple.

She looked up at him through watery eyes, seeing him blurry until she blinked the tears away.

“The sun is coming up, my love.” He said.

Tessa turned her head so that her ear rested against his chest and looked towards the horizon. She lowered her arms so that they were now wrapped around Will’s waist and blew out a heavy breath.

Together, they watched the sunrise.

…

Though it hurt to admit it, Tessa couldn’t deny that a pressure seemed to have lifted off her shoulders after deciding to give up on having children. A couple of days after that evening on the rooftop she’d portaled to Idris for a short while to visit Sophie. Tessa didn’t know how she had managed to survive without a friend like Sophie for the first sixteen years of her life; if she didn’t speak regularly with Sophie, she suspected she would lose her mind.

When she knocked on the door, a disheveled Sophie answered the door with a small Eugenia on her hip and Barbara behind her. Ladies didn’t usually answer the door of their own residence but the Lightwoods didn’t have any servants of their own, since they were pressed for money. Benedict Lightwood had essentially left Gideon penniless after disowning him and Sophie had no inheritance from ancestors since she wasn’t born a shadowhunter.

That didn’t mean Sophie and Gideon suffered, though. They were as happy as could be; the fact that they were simply married and had two beautiful children and one on the way made them happy beyond compare.

Immediately upon seeing Tessa’s face, Sophie’s sparked with joy.

“Tessa!” She exclaimed, “My dear, what a wonderfully unexpected surprise! Come in, come in.” She motioned.

Tessa did just that, shutting the door behind her. When she turned around again, Sophie was already throwing her arms around her. Tessa laughed and hugged her back tightly, the ache in her heart easing a tiny bit.

Sophie, having sensed something was the matter, pulled away, her hands on Tessa’s shoulders, and looked into her eyes, her eyes filled with worry. “Oh darling, what happened?”

Tessa bit her lip, trying not to cry.

“Oh, Sophie. I’ve made a very difficult decision.”

…

Sophie and Tessa lay on top of Sophie and Gideon’s bed, both Barbara and Eugenia asleep in between the two friends.

Sophie had held Tessa’s hand as she told her she’d decided to stop trying to have children.

“For what it’s worth,” Sophie said, wiping tears from her eyes out of sadness for her best friend. “I think it is a very brave decision on your part.”

Tessa huffed out a laugh.

“I mean it,” Sophie turned on her side to look at her, Tessa doing the same. “The longer you tried, the more frustrated you would have gotten. You can enjoy your time spent with Will. That’s what’s important. Sometimes, the most courageous thing you can do is let go of an obsession that’s harming you.”

Tessa nodded and brushed Barbara’s hair through her fingers. Eugenia turned around in her sleep, pressing her cheek against the pillow. Tessa smiled.

“Well,” she said, propping her head on her elbow. “Enough about me. Sophie Lightwood, I must say that when I hugged you, I can confirm that you are in fact showing.”

Sophie shook her head, a smile on her lips. “Or I put on weight.”

“Nonsense.” Tessa said with an air of dismissal. “Have you any idea of the gender yet?”

Sophie put a hand to her lower abdomen. “We’ve decided to wait until the birth to find out the gender.”

“You have?”

“Well, I did. Which means that Gideon, by default, must wait as well.”

Tessa giggled. “How is Gideon, by the way?”

“He’s doing well. Tired, though we both are.” Sophie laughed. She turned to Tessa. “I have a secret to tell you, but you must take it to the grave.”

Tessa sat up. “I’m all ears.”

Sophie made a show of looking around the room, as if someone would pop out of nowhere, before whispering to Tessa. “This baby may or may not be a happy accident.”

Tessa covered her mouth to contain her laughter. “You’re joking!”

Sophie shook her head.

“But, you wanted three children.”

“Of course, but we were going to wait a little. Catch our breaths before another round of months without sleep.”

Tessa lay back on the bed shaking her head. “Sophie, you minx.”

Sophie threw a pillow at her head. “It’s not my fault I’m pregnant! Blame Gideon.”

Tessa laughed. “I don’t think Gideon and I have reached that level in our friendship just yet.”

Sophie shot her a knowing look. “I beg to differ. I think after the fifth time he found you asleep on his bed, there are no more formalities in your friendship with him.”

Tessa squinted her eyes, grinning. “I forgot about that. But, yes, I guess you're right. I’ll tell him as soon as I see him. Unfortunately for you, it might have to wait. I wanted to be back by six.”

Sophie reached over, grabbing a pocket watch off her bedside table. “Oh angel, you should be getting back then. It’s already a quarter to six.”

The two friends hugged goodbye, both completely unaware that Sophie wasn’t the only one with child.

…

Every morning since Jem had told her she was pregnant, Tessa awoke with a smile on her face. Even when she had terrible doubts of morning sickness, she was smiling the entire time. Anytime she got the chance, she’d stare at her belly, checking to see if a bump was already forming. She was so incredibly excited, she didn’t know how she could possibly wait nine months before her baby was born. She was highly anticipating the birth of her lovely little James, whom she already loved more than she could bear.

Unlike her best friend, Tessa wanted to know the gender of the sweet little baby. Speaking of which, Sophie had been ecstatic when Tessa had told her that she was with child.

Now, as Tessa was brushing her hair, she smiled at the memory. Her grin widened as Will came into the room. He went over to her and bent down to rest his head on her shoulder.

Tessa’s eyes met him through the mirror.

“How is our little Jamie?” Will asked.

Tessa smiled. “Still the size of a hazelnut.”

Will grinned back. “And his beautiful mother?”

Tessa rolled her eyes, leaning back against Will. “She’s shaking her head at his father.”

He pressed a kiss to Tessa’s neck. She sighed and let her head fall back.

“Tess?”

“Hm?”

“Jamie doesn’t have ears yet, right?”

Tessa opened her eyes. “No, he doesn’t.”

“Good.” Will lifted her from the ottoman she was seated on. Tessa laughed, wrapped her arms around his neck. “Because I don’t want him to hear this.”

...

😱 Will, how scandalous!!

Tagging: @tsccreatorsnet @atla-lok143 @rinadragomir @youngreckless @autumnangel20 @julemmaes @cupcakesandkittens @no-scones-allowed @ninacarstairss @stxr-thxif @icouldnotask @jordeliasupremacy @cordelia-cardale @will-effing-herondale @axoloteca @heronstairs2014 @ilovemanicures @ti-bae-rius @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @readersconfessions812 @nightshade3465 @livvyheronstairs @zemiraa @proudtobealuthor @neurogliadudette @theenchanteddreamer @cheeseandmacarons @shadowhunting-hoolingans @writeordie-4 @amchara @myangelbach @livingformyself @dancing-under-the-moon @julescarstairs @wouldyouknowmeblind @grace-lightwoodd @livingformyself @ilikebooksandtvshows

If you want to be on my tag list, or if you changed your url recently and your not in the tag list anymore, let me know! Also, if you want to be removed, send me a dm! I won’t be offended in the slightest :) Oh, and if you asked to be on the tag list and you’re not on it, please tell me (I’m very absentminded lol)

#wessa #will herondale #tessa herondale #tessa gray #james herondale #will and tessa #sophie lightwood #sophie and tessa #tsc fanfic #tsc #tid #tid fanfic #herondale #william herondale #ana fics

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fintan-pyren · 3 years

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I know you’re not a fan of ship wars but out of curiosity do you ship sophitz, sokeefe, both or just something else entirely?

I like ship wars well enough, I just tend to avoid them because they bring out my worst traits. Uh, you might notice that while you're reading this post. Sorry. I really do love Keefe and Sophie, I just get a bit defensive when it comes to ships.

For most of my time in this fandom, I've been more of a Sophitz fan. I think all the ships are relatively cute, but Sophitz was my favorite.

From the very start, Fitz has been really caring towards Sophie. Not just Sophie, I suppose. He cares about everyone. There's a scene in Exile where Sophie falls from a tree and he immediately leaps up twenty feet in the air to grab her, sheltering her and rolling to absorb the impact. He doesn't think. He just does it. He's always been like that. He's driven by his love for the people he cares about. Even when he's angry, it's never for the sake of himself. It's always because someone he loves has been hurt or is in danger. And even when he's not risking his life, he's so sweet and caring. The baking, the cognate rings, everything. But it's really significant to me that it's not just Sophie. He cares about his sister and his parents and his other friends too. He's just a caring and sweet person in general. I'm not saying that the other characters aren't sweet and caring towards Sophie, because they are, but Fitz has always seemed particularly kind and adorable.

And I love Keefe with all my heart, but I don't vibe with how he thinks about Sophie. He's really focused on her. Everything he does is about her. It's like his world revolves around her. And that's sort of cute, but it's also mildly creepy. Even once Fitz and Sophie are together, he doesn't change. He keeps making comments that seem almost as though he's just waiting for her to dump Fitz and date him. Like she's in love with him but she just doesn't realize it yet. But don't worry, she'll come around! I think he's trying to step away a little, but I still don't like how obsessed he seems with her. Even when he joins the Neverseen, he frames it as about being specifically about her. Like when Dex gets rejected, he gets over her. He moves on. Even though Keefe hasn't actually been rejected, her being with Fitz should be enough. She made her choice. And yeah, people change their minds (like what happened in Legacy) but until then, you act respectful of their choices. You don't keep flirting.

And this isn't super relevant, but I don't like his perception of Sophie. The way he talks about her and describes her in Unlocked makes her seem really cute and helpless. He doesn't view her as strong or capable at all. She's got a squeaky voice that sounds adorable when she's worried and she chews her lip adorably and she sounds soft and nervous. She's like a little mouse. A prey animal. She's soft and silly and weak and adorable.

Oh, and I really despise the double-standards some people have with Fitz and the other characters. Like people being angry at Fitz for reading Keefe's mind without his permission in Unlocked but being fine with Keefe grabbing Fitz's hand to read his emotions and not letting go even as he's struggling to get away and pull free. Or being upset at Fitz for trying to kill Alvar (even though I still think that whether he tried to do that is dubious—he initially tied him up and held a knife to his throat, which is a threat but not actively trying to kill him, and even when the Neverseen is goading him and trying to make him kill Alvar, he doesn't do it. And I really don't define not trying to save a guy who's actively trying to release murderous baby trolls as murder.) even though a) BIANA WAS THERE TOO and b) Keefe has also attempted to injure or kill his family members.

At this point, though, I don’t ship any of them. I don't want Sophie to be in a relationship. She honestly seems kinda self-centered to me. Her reaction to the Matchmaking thing shows that. Yeah, she can't share her parent's identity with him, and he wasn't understanding that, but her refusal to see how this doesn't just affect her really annoys me. It does affect him! It affects anyone she chooses to be in a romantic relationship with. It definitely affects her more, since her partners can just leave her, but for her to get angry at him for saying that it would have an effect on him if they stayed in a relationship is unreasonable. The way she keeps expecting him to come back and apologize afterwards seems especially self-centered. She places all the blame on him for their breakup. And he didn't handle the conversation well, but neither did she. They BOTH need to come together and discuss it and reach a consensus. She shouldn't expect him to just come begging to her to take him back.

#kotlc #discourse tw

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fanficwritersinterviewed · 3 years

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MCM, furiosophie

<<This post is a part of a longer conversation about fanfic writers, how they view fanfic, and their writing process. All views are the fanfic writers’ own, and whatever fanfic they choose to write is entirely their own decision. No judgement value will be placed on fic content. These conversations are meant to provide insight for other fanfic writers in whatever stage they are at in their writing life>>

Meet-Cute Monday (with furiosophie, @furiosophie)

AO3 Stats:

Pseud: furiosophie Pronouns: she/her (currently) Current fandoms: Star Wars Current pairings: Dinluke (Din/Luke), Dopeyluke (Din/Poe/Luke) How many total fic: 6 How many fandoms: 1 Total word count: 202,988 Longest fic word count: 103,615 Shortest: 2,148 Highest kudo count: 2,928 Lowest: 107

What's the story behind your pseud? It's a dumb pun I have with myself - my name is Sophie, I easily get furious about fandom shit and I'm dyslexic thus "furios sophie" with one s and no u.

You get furious? I am actually really surprised, I don't think I’ve ever noticed you getting furious before. Hahaha well I'm working on it. It's less furious, more very, very passionate. Like talking a mile a minute, forgetting to regulate my tone of voice, gesturing wildly, the whole deal.

How long have you been reading and writing fanfic? I'm not fully sure how long it's actually been but I remember asking my mom to print out fanfic at work that I copy and pasted into a doc so I could read it up in my room because we only had one pc at home, so I'd say probably 17 years or so? And I wrote my first fanfic at nine, I remember that very vividly because I wrote it in a notebook with some company logo on it and spent more time drawing the Star Wars logo on top than actually writing. Plus I had my mom proofread it so it would count as me doing my spelling homework.

It was set just before the beginning of Empire Strikes Back on the rebel base on Hoth and it was basically just a conversation between Leia, Han, Luke and the OC (original character) I created who used to be Vader's apprentice but had a change of heart and came to warn them about the imminent attack. Which I am aware is not super exciting but apparently my nine-year-old self really needed to write a fix-it.

No no! That's actually surprisingly involved for a nine-year-old kid, I'm impressed. Well my OC also rode a space skateboard and wore turquoise overalls so I feel that balances it out.

Ha!! Spectacular! Okay, so this furiosophie incarnation is your newest writing self, though you've been a few other people before this, right? I've had two other pseuds before this, yes. Kind of one for every phase of my writing: one for back when I was still writing in German during high school and one for when I first switched to writing in English during uni.

What was the inciting incident that led to the creation of this pseud?Honestly? I saw the Mandalorian season 2 finale, absolutely lost my mind when Luke showed up, went on tumblr to soak up any crumb I could get, got hit with a dinluke meme and thought "hahaha what a fucking dumb idea" and then three days later I found out that my note program apparently has a character limit because I had typed out the first 7k of “oh the things we left behind” on my phone. So I just resigned myself to my fate and created the new pseud. I had no idea what it would end up being. “ottwlb” was supposed to be three chapters, max maybe 30k. To put that into perspective - it had been roughly ten years since I had written anything at that point and the most I had written in one go was around 22k.

And it ended up being nearly 104k words. So what happened, exactly? What was it about this story that needed to come out of you and why? It started with the simple line of "Din thinks of the Jedi often. More specifically, he thinks of Grogu." That was the first thing I wrote down, and for a long while it was very much just an exploration of that thought I had since I first watched the movies which was something along the lines of "the Force and post-Return of the Jedi Luke must seem terrifying to others" until that turned into "if the Force and post-ROTJ Luke seems terrifying to others, how terrifying must that feel for him?" and I think that is where it clicked for me suddenly that I was processing a lot of my own complicated emotions around mental illness with some of this fic, that simple truth of "part of your mind is no longer your own.”

It’s funny to think, looking back, that I wasn't really aware I was processing anything with the story until I was in the thick of it. Like I knew I needed to process some shit-- I was one and a half years into recovery from severe burnout when I started writing-- but I didn't set out to do any of that processing through writing, it just happened. So this fic kind of became about accepting that sometimes the darkest parts of yourself just won't go away, that there is no absolution and no easy fix and that the only way through that is choosing to move forward. Or it's simply about two idiots taking 80k to kiss, you decide, haha!

If it’s not too invasive, do you mind talking a bit about what “severe burnout” means? Because before I met you I’d heard of burnout but it was always just a term tossed around when people got tired. I didn’t realize what it actually meant from a mental health perspective. Oh yeah sure! Though I'd like to preface this with simply saying that everyone's journey is different and this is just my personal experience. In retrospect it is not that surprising that I burned out eventually– I had been struggling for a while in my twenties because I had a very intensive job, moved countries multiple times, tried to maintain relationships with friends, etc., but burnout is something that creeps up on you slowly and is often very hard to catch in time. It started with insomnia, then came the constant health issues, then the irritability, then I lost all interest in things I used to love, was unable to write at first, then draw, then hang out with friends, then watch TV, eventually I stopped making dinner because it was too much of an effort to make and then, right in the thick of it, I was unable to take care of myself at all.

But that whole process happened over the span of nearly two years, and in my case really probably my whole life because my specific type of burnout was brought on by the fact that I grew up undiagnosed autistic. So it wasn't one big thing, it was me continuously over-exerting myself from a very young age. There is this concept of disabled/neurodivergent kids being "twice exceptional" which basically means that to excel you have to work twice as hard as your peers, once to bridge the gap of the base requirement of function and then once to actually thrive at school, or university, etc. and that ultimately led to me burning out. I actually had several unrelated burnouts throughout my life, the most severe ones after high school and university which, since I was seemingly functioning, were all treated as "you're just a little tired".

When you had that “a ha!” moment that your first fic was really about you processing what you’d just gone through, how did that inform your writing? I think the biggest plot point that was informed by that "a ha" moment was the choice to write chapter seven from Luke's perspective. Once I knew what I was doing it seemed impossible not to tell the story from his POV. I also kind of doubled down on the "being force-sensitive is a metaphor for being neurodivergent" thing because that analogy was just very comforting to me.

And “go and get your hands dirty”? Lmao. Very, very different vibe. I think dinluke kink week was going on back then and myomikan was drawing something for it so my idiot brain thought "you are incapable of writing smut why don't you also participate?" Which ended with me writing the first scene of that fic and then it just...I honestly don't know what happened, it was supposed to be max 10k. I had it all planned out, but apparently I am not only incapable of writing smut but also incapable of writing anything other than a slow burn. There really are no deep thoughts in that fic, which is probably why it was fighting me in the beginning, but it did end up being very helpful as a kind of sandbox where I could try out different pacing and character conflict that I struggle writing. I am still very on the fence about that fic, I know it had somewhat good reception but it is the one fic where I honestly can't tell if it works or not.

What's something in that one that you were intentionally trying out all the while knowing it wasn't your strong suit? The physical elements of it mostly. I am not joking when I say I am very bad at that, as well as the conflict based on miscommunication/a secret rather than outside factors, and the tension that comes with that. In “ottwlb” there is conflict but they are always a unit, while in “gagyhd” their turmoil is to some degree self-inflicted. Also parts of their relationship are genuinely unhealthy but in a sort of helpless way that stems from their trauma and upbringing which I really enjoyed exploring because trauma does not absolve you from being an asshole so my challenge was kind of to walk that line of "they are very dysfunctional but aware of it and trying to work towards being better."

Dysfunctional but aware. I think there’s a lot of us that can relate to that, lol!

#fanfic writers interviewed #furiosophie #fanfic #fanfic writing #meet cute monday

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