#@ that one person who thinks they can loophole their way out of my custom prices

[maiatan-fallan]

Sorry if this isn’t the content you wanted from me but I made a meme.

If you know, you know.

[theveryworstthing]

So over on patreon Trevor asked for my take on the Addams Family and I grew up LOVING the Addams family movies so here we are. Instead of doing a straight up style interpretation, I decided to do a full on design challenge, using the characters as bases to make a black southern gothic Addams au. I actually drew the kids first, using the character bases of Wednesday and Pugsley to create some delightful kiddos I'm calling Sunday and Blanche. I of course then redesigned Gomez and Morticia into Carlisle and Mortesha.

The Addams have a very specific high aristocratic goth aesthetic (they've got a butler and nobody really works among other things) so in this re-imagining I wanted to go with vibes that run a little more middle class/upper middle class.  I thought it would be interesting to think about what would be considered weird and off-putting in an entirely different culture, and how being a big ol' goth is way less controversial than it used to be.

I tried to keep this short (HAHAHAHAHAHA) so I didn't spin off into an essay about villain coded families, black people in the horror genre, and normalcy as it pertains to social survival, but just...bits of that are in these designs and lore. Keep that in mind.

Also I made the kids twins because they've flip flopped in age so much in different media and also twins run in my family (i'm the daughter of one). And let's face it, I'm pulling a lot of their southern gothic traits from living as a southern goth so *shrug*.

10 thousand pounds of lore incoming loooooooooool.

The Parents

From the moment he saw her he knew that there was a 50/50 chance of him either never making it out of that swamp alive or marrying the figure that was creeping out from under the distant willow tree in a black cocktail dress. The third time she found him trussed up in one of her traps, he complimented her rope work and asked if she'd like to go out sometime after his head wound stopped bleeding.

Or while it was still bleeding.

If she was into that.

Some kids and a mysteriously burnt down Piggly Wiggly later, their love is still as strong and inescapable as a bear trap in a sink hole.

Carlisle Guillermo (now Addams through marriage but I wanted to give him two first names for a name since Gomez has two last names) makes a vaguely described living practicing ‘law’ around town. A loophole king, people come to him from miles around with contracts signed in blood, fights over chunks of hair buried in their rivals’ yard, dehydrated primate hands, memories that seemed like dreams until the evidence of their happenings became too real, and other regular Legal Items asking for counsel which he is all too happy to give. For a price. Sometimes that price is a homemade pie and sometimes it’s a million dollars, depends on who you are. Whatever you’re asked to pay it’s worth that price, and if you try to scam him out of work or he just plain doesn’t like you? Well. He knows how to twist a contract better than anything at the crossroads.

And he always gets his due.

He doesn’t just serve the local (living)humans though, there are many things that need proper legal representation in this day and age. You wouldn’t believe how many city councils try to build on sacred burial grounds even after he lets them know that his ghostly clients are totally gonna haunt the FUCK out of the ensuing shitty condos and curse their families for all eternity. At least 50% of his energy goes towards dealing with real estate bullshit.

Carl is an excitable and good natured(?) man who loves his family, cigars, dancing, and his many knife-based hobbies. People find him very charming once they get past the feeling that they’re talking to a sultry gator badly disguising itself as a human. I didn’t put a ton of deep thought into designing him, mostly I wanted to make a middle aged dude who looked like he would have been voted ‘most likely to smooch the literal devil’ in high school. Tbh he probably has, but no demonic ex’s can compare to his lovely wife~

Mortesha Addams(her name was already perfect so I just tweaked it)is a woman of many talents. A self proclaimed homemaker, she prides herself on a greenhouse full of Concerning Foliage, a beautiful wasp apiary, and a coop full of what are probably chickens that she keeps for what are probably eggs. She’s also an avid creator of the outsider art that can be seen around the estate. She has taken on the family business of selling her homemade goods in a little stall by the road just outside the swamp with her mom, and makes pretty good money doing so. A surprising amount of poison gets bought in quaint southern towns.

Speaking of poison, people who come out to the edge of the swamp to buy it are usually carrying a lot of secrets around, and Mortesha knows most of them. It’s not like she pries the truth out of people, it just so happens that many nervous hellos eventually turn into the tragic backstory power hour if she’s alone with a client for long enough. She supposes that’s just how people are. Despite the fact that the Addams are very active in the community (whether the community likes it or not) she especially, as a direct descendant of the first Addams matriarch, is seen as…Well not an outsider because the community feels A Certain Way about outsiders and despite it all the Addams are their people, but maybe something like an exception. They feel like whatever weirdness they’re hiding can’t be weirder than any given Addams, so they get a little loose with their words.

This is amusing to her, since Addams’ don’t naturally keep the kind dramatic secrets that their surface level prim and proper neighbors do. It’s much more fun to openly talk about those things.

Do they have a sadly decrepit yet terrifying grandma up in the attic? Yeah, like three. They got a tv, all the creepy porcelain dolls they could want, and they’re close to family. Where do you keep your gram-grams?

Any bodies buried on the property? Yeah some, but most are thrown to the gators.

Any creeping through the balmy summer night with ill intentions? Yeah dude, everyone loves a nice family stroll.

What about dangerous forbidden love? If an adult Addams isn’t incorporeal then they’re either queer or in a torrid romance with some person/thing mysteriously drawn to that awful swamp. Sometimes both at the same time. Most times actually.

Mortesha would know.

The current head of the Addams family is just as outgoing as her husband but a lot quieter and harder to read. She never really seems to get mad about much and always has a genteel smile for everyone whether they deserve it or not. A seven foot tall human shaped “Oh, bless your heart”. A perfectly composed Lady even when she’s, oh I dunno, burning down a Piggly Wiggly. You know. A regular southern mom. Chat her up at the hair salon for 50% off a jar of wasp honey with your next purchase of a mysterious but foreboding packet of herbs.

Designing her was pretty easy because I just drew a lankier Grace Jones and called it a day. I had some problems with her outfit simply because if we were going HARD southern gothic then she’d probably be wearing a white/cream dress with a fuller skirt but I thought keeping the silhouette and the black was more important. She’s supposed to be an anti southern gothic southern gothic character anyway. A woman who looks like she has a million secrets who is actually the most open person you could meet. For better or worse. The red hair came from a coloring error that I really ended up liking (my mom had red hair her whole childhood that only darkened up in high school so I can buy that an Addams can be naturally fire engine red) and the veil was to get more of that classic Morticia silhouette in there.

The Children

Sunday and Blanche are the twin children of Carlisle and Mortesha Addams. Some say the Addams clan got their cursed homestead when a wealthy local businessman made a deal with the devil and lost, leaving his grand mansion to his least favorite maid and cutting his losses once he realized that the swamp would do everything it could to drag the house into the water and take what was owed with its horrible curse. Others say that the family has just always squatted there and no one really cares because man, fuck that particular swamp. Have you been in there? Absolute horror show.

Anyway.

Blanche is the more outgoing sibling and quite the engineer/mad scientist in the making. He started going grey at 2 weeks old but considering he was also rocking some extra fingers, toes, and a tiny tail (he takes after his dad), his parents just put it on the 'not life threatening' pile and decided not to worry about it. He's the kind of smart that teachers find utterly infuriating, less a dog eagerly learning and obeying commands and more a hyena who keeps teaching itself how to pick locks. He has a few friends in his school's robotics club (which they honestly allowed him to make so the school could contain his... creations) but mostly hangs out with his sister exploring the swamp. They find all sorts of neat things in there! wedding rings, suspiciously lumpy garbage bags, cloaked cultists who can't read private property signs, it's an adventure every day!

Blanche is all about experimentation with his creations, his look, and his tether to this mortal coil. Is lipstick a cool thing to try? Let's find out. Can he get out of a strait jacket fast enough after being pushed into the depths of the swamp by his sister? let's find out. He's not dead yet and confused local doctors can attest to the fact that he's rarely attained more than a bad bruise so he's pretty set on continuing to kiss rattlesnakes on their cute little heads and have his sister practice her knife throwing at him until that fact changes.

Blanche is very much a country goth. Cowboy boots (customized by his mom), knife, and lighter are daily accessories. He likes to wear the crusty swamp jewelry they find (the rust adds a splash of color!) and despite appearances he does try to keep himself neat. He's just got  natural Grunge Colors and a tendency to wear clothes he likes until they fall apart. Pugsley always seemed the most modernly styled to me (which might just be because little boys clothes have been the same for a long time) so I wanted Blanche to be the most purposely fashionable Addams. Everyone else is goth by nature, but he's the only one truly familiar with goth as an alternative fashion.

I got really into designing Blanche because honestly, I find Pugsley to be the most boring member of the family. And he was hard to design! I had to mess with his vibe a lot to get him looking how I wanted. I know he's supposed to evoke an " 'evil' little boy next door who's parents never reign him in", but that's just goth Dennis The Menace.  I's 2020. We can at least go queer goth Calvin.

Sunday was much easier to design. Wednesday was my favorite as a child (of course) and I really wanted to keep the spirit of her look while adding things like billowy sleeves (it gets HOT down here), big poofy twists instead of braids, and a nice tie. She's a professional after all, been running the local pet cemetery since she was 6 and the previous groundskeeper met with an unfortunate accident after telling her that tarantulas don't have souls. Her specialty is creating beautiful naturalistic animal funerals similar to those that Maquenda (https://linktr.ee/artofmaquenda) makes, and she takes pride in creating miniature dioramas of her subjects after each burial which she uses as a kind of 3D catalog for future clients.

She really wants to try out her skills on humans one day. Well. Publicly try out her skills. Lotta random bodies float into the swamp. None of them have turned down her requests for diorama models so far. Most seem downright flattered. Plus, she usually figures out which graveyard/crime scene they floated over from and gets her parents to give them a lift back. She'll even help enact terrifying revenge from beyond the grave on whoever put them there if she's not, y'know, busy.

Besides arts, crafts, and pet based funerary arrangements, Sunday is an avid lover of archery (any ranged weapon really), books where little fantasy adventure animals die dramatic deaths, and history. She is That Kid who eagerly raises her hand when asked who Christopher Columbus was and ends up being sent out of class after 15 minutes for making 'a scene'. Her favorite party trick is just picking an item in the room and talking about how it relates to either some obscure historical figure with a buck wild life or a horrible disaster. At least one charity pancake breakfast ended with children in tears after her vivid description of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919.

Social-wise, while Wednesday is the girl that people ask to smile because they think she'd, "look so pretty", Sunday is rarely asked anything at all. People just kind of assume from her quiet nature (in between horrible history facts) that she's angry all the time and that she hates everyone. This is untrue. She hates some people but she's ambivalent to most everyone else and even downright friendly if you bother to talk to her like a person instead of a terrifying cryptid. Like, she IS a terrifying cryptid but she's also a little girl.  

That’s about it for now. One day I might do the other family members but for now I’m happy with the four I’ve redesigned. Making an au! Lurch in a family that doesn’t do butlers could be interesting. Over on patreon I put forth that he could just be Motesha’s mute little brother (similar bone structure) but Amy Crook had the nice idea of quote: “ a mysterious "cousin" that "helps around the house" whose origins are both long in the past and faintly unsettling. He's good for lifting heavy things, like that tank of propane you're about to throw into the burning Piggly Wiggly... “ which i now consider canon. Who's kid is he? How old is he? Not important. Anyone willing to commit arson with you is family.

Annnnyway.  This challenge was a lot of fun! I love indulging in AU’s.

[a-weeze1219]

Deborah Meaden Bitcoin This Morning Equaliser is an investment reality

British citizens are already raking in millions of pounds from home using this “wealth loophole” — but is it legitimate?

Deborah Sonia Maiden is a British businesswoman who ran and managed millions of pounds on holidays prior to finalizing the management takeover, but is best known for her appearances on The Morning Bitcoin Equaliser

Deborah Meaden attracted a lot of attention coming out with new secret investment that’s making hundreds of people in Britain very rich

(BBC UK) — Deborah Meaden has made a name for himself as a brash straight-talker who doesn’t mind being honest about how he makes his money.

Last week, she appeared this morning and announced a new "wealth hole" that he said could turn anyone into a millionaire within 3-4 months, giving her the possibility of financial independence. Deborah Maiden urged everyone in Britain to jump on this wonderful opportunity before the major banks shut it down for good.

And sure enough, minutes after the interview was over an executive from Barclays called to stop Deborah Meaden’s interview from being aired — it was already too late. Phillip has now been suspended for not confirming if it was ok to share this information live on TV. He was only trying to help people…

Here’s exactly what happened:

This Morning host Philip Schofield invited Deborah Meaden on the show to share any advice they had on building wealth and Deborah Meaden threw a bomb:

“”After many years of hard work I started to realize that I need to change something. I was looking for a way to make money without having to work like a slave. What’s made me successful is jumping into new opportunities quickly — without any hesitation. And right now, my number one money-maker is a new cryptocurrency auto-trading program called Bitcoin Equaliser . It’s the single biggest opportunity I’ve seen in my entire lifetimes to build a small fortune fast. I urge everyone to check this out before the banks shut it down.”

This Morning host Phillip Schofield was left in disbelief as, Deborah Meaden pulled out Her phone and showed viewers how much money she was making through this new money-making program that made everyone in Britain whisper.

Clip time ended before Deborah Meaden expanded, so we got an exclusive interview with Meaden to learn more about this controversial opportunity.

BBC Exclusive with Deborah Meaden

"You may have heard of this new cryptocurrency investment platform called Bitcoin Equalizer that helps ordinary people in Britain build fortunes overnight. You might be skeptical because it sounds too good to be true."

Continue: Deborah Meaden Bitcoin This Morning Equalizer is an investment reality

“I understood because I thought the same thing when a trusted friend told me about it. But after seeing with my own eyes how much money he was making, I had to try it myself.

I am glad I tried it because it was one of the biggest and easiest money I have ever made. I'm talking about tens of thousands of pounds a day on autopilot; it's literally the fastest way to make windfall money right now. And it won't last longer as more and more people get to know it. Or when the banks close their doors permanently. "

What Exactly Is Bitcoin Equaliser And How Does It Work?

The idea behind Bitcoin Equaliser is straightforward:To allow the average person to cash in on the cryptocurrency boom which is still the most lucrative investment of the 21st century, despite what most people think.

Although Bitcoin price has dropped from its all time high of $20,000 per Bitcoin, traders are still making a killing. Why? Because there are thousands of other cryptocurrencies besides Bitcoin that being traded for huge profits on a daily basis.

Some of these cryptocurrencies include Ripple, Ethereum, Monero, Zcash and Ripple and they are still making returns of over 10,000% and higher for ordinary people in Britain.

Bitcoin Equaliser lets you profit from all of these cryptocurrencies, even in a bear market. It uses artificial intelligence (AI) to automatically handle long and short selling for you so you can make money around the clock, even while you sleep.

Bitcoin Equaliser is backed by some of the smartest tech minds to ever exist. Richard Branson, Elon Musk and Bill Gates just to name a few. Bill Gates and Richard Branson discuss Bitcoin Equaliser at CES 2020.

These tech geniuses have built multi-billion companies on solving complex issues like online payments, computing, and transportation. Now, they’re tackling on the global problem of wealth inequality by letting anyone — no matter how rich or poor they are — make enough money to enjoy a happy and fulfilling life.

The lucrative money-making secret big banks don’t want you to know

Deborah goes on, Deborah Meaden This Morning

“I’m seeing hard economic times, and this is the solution people have been waiting for. Never in history have we had such an amazing opportunity that ordinary people can easily take advantage of to generate tremendous wealth in such a short time.

Some people are hesitant to try this because it’s so different. And that’s because the big banks are trying to cover this up! The big banks are actively creating propaganda and calling cryptocurrencies and platform like Bitcoin Equaliser a scam. Why? They are worried their corporate profits will shrink once their customers know how to create massive wealth themselves.

The truth is, cryptocurrency is the revolution of our lifetime and anyone who does not jump on this opportunity is missing out. I’ve already received angry calls and threats from big financial corporations because I’m bring this technology to people’s attention. But screw them. People in Britain are already starting to know the truth and it’s only a matter of time before more and more do.

I’m sharing this because I’ve also received hundreds of emails from people thanking me for sharing this secret. My favourite one is from a young man who bought his little brother his dream car — a Ferrari 488 Pista using the cash he made from Bitcoin Equaliser. This platform is truly making the lives of everyone in the world a little better.”

Steven Baker used the profits he earned from Bitcoin Equaliser to buy his little brother his dream car. What an inspiring way to use wealth for good!

Does Bitcoin Equaliser Really work? We test It Ourselves To Out

Our senior editors wouldn’t let us to publish the interview with Deborah Meaden until we verified that Bitcoin Equaliser is a legitimate make-money-from-home opportunity. Our corporate leadership did not want us releasing any information that could potentially cause citizens of Britain to lose their hard-earned money.

So our editorial team tested Bitcoin Equaliser to make sure it actually works like Deborah Meaden described. One of our online editors, Zachary Tisdale, volunteered to risk his own money and test out Bitcoin Equaliser.

Zachary is a 53-year-old father of 1 boy whose wife lost her job last year due to illness. He admitted he was struggling financially and this investment opportunity could be the answer.

Zachary’s family was struggling to make ends meet and hoped that Bitcoin Equaliser could relieve his the financial pressure, so he decided to test the system and report his results

Zachary reports:

“At first, when I heard the interview with Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan , I thought they were joking. Making money from home is only a dream. I decided to try it anyway given my financial circumstances- and for the sake of good journalism.

I watched an introductory video about the platform and then signed up. The video seemed to be over-promising but I put my skepticism aside. Within a few hours, I received a call from my personal investor. He answered all questions and doubts I had, and assured me I was going to make money. Period.

My personal investor even promised that if I lose even a single dime, he would promptly refund my deposit. That’s how confident he was this was going to change my life. Now that’s customer service beyond anything I’ve seen and no wonder banks are scared.

Once I received access to the platform, I deposited my initial investment of £180. That’s about is what my family spends on junk food every month, so I decided to stop taking us to fast food for a month. Now we can be healthy, plus have the opportunity to get rich.

The Bitcoin Equaliser itself is a cryptocurrency auto-trading platform. The software uses advanced AI algorithms and machine learning to predict exactly when cryptocurrencies will go up and down. Then it will automatically buy and sell for you around the clock. Technology has already made our lives easier in every possible way, so why not use it to make more money as well?”

Zachary’s real time results with the system

“Within 1 hour of depositing £180, the software started trading for me. To be honest, I was nervous it would lose all of my money. And sure enough, my first trade was a £25 loss!

I felt my throat close up. I thought I had been scammed. I was even ready to call my personal investor and ask for my money back. But then I remembered what my he told me earlier on our call: The algorithm is right about 80–89% of the time. You’re not going to win EVERY trade, but you’ll win enough and be profitable overall.

So I let the software keep trading for me and watched it closely. The next trade was profitable! Only £19 but it was still something. Then the next trade was £51 profit. Then £22 profit, making a total profit of £92. And this was all under 5 minutes!

Soon I started scooping up cash like ice-cream and I couldn’t believe my eyes. Every time I refreshed the screen, my profits grew higher and higher. I felt like I was on drugs because this was such an exciting rush.

Now I know whyDeborah Meaden is in a good mood all the time. And why the big banks don’t want people anywhere near this wealth loophole. By the end of the day, I had made over £754 in profit, not bad from a starting investment of £180! I was so excited I barely got any sleep.

The next day was Tuesday and I had to go back to work. To be honest (and don’t tell my boss this), it was hard to focus on my job knowing the Bitcoin Equaliser software was making me money.

I snuck out to the bathroom a few times to check my profits, and they kept stacking up (with a small loss here and there). At the end of the day, before I put my kids to sleep, my account balance showed £1,349.13. That’s more than I earn in a WEEK at my regular job!

By the end of the week, I made a total of £5,349.12. I withdrew exactly £4,500 and re-invested the rest. Within 2 days I received my first cheque in the mail- for exactly £4,500. I couldn’t believe this was real life!”

Zachary continues,“Now, I am consistently making an additional £700 to £1,500 per day thanks to Bitcoin Equaliser. Now, the money just gets deposited into my bank account every few days. Just a few clicks and I received my funds within 24–48 hours. Every time the transfer hits my checking account, I have to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.Luckily, I LOVE my job here because I get to bring people important news stories (like this one) otherwise I would have quit by now. I did, however, plan a vacation for my family to Bali Indonesia to celebrate being out of debt and finally having my family’s finances back on track!

This wouldn’t be possible without Deborah Meaden’s generosity and sharing his secret live on television. And I’m happy I took the risk to try Bitcoin Equaliser myself. My wife is happier than ever and my kids’ toy cupboard is well stocked.

My co-workers are kicking themselves they didn’t sign up two weeks ago like I did. But soon, our entire office signed up (including my boss) and they are calling me a “hero” for trying this.”

How to Get Started with Bitcoin Equaliser (Limited Spots Available)

To get started, you only need your computer, smartphone, or tablet with internet access. You don’t need any specific skills other than knowing how to use a computer and browsing the internet. You don’t need any technology or cryptocurrency experience because the software and your personal investor guarantees you make a profit.

Another perk of this program is you get to start when you want. You can make your own schedule- whether that’s 5 hours a week or 50 hours a week. Just start the auto-trading software when you wish, and you can pause whenever you want (I don’t know why you ever would though).

To save our reader’s time and double check the Bitcoin Equaliser‘s functionality, Zachary kindly created a guide to getting started on the system.

Here’s My step-by-step walkthrough:

The first thing you see is a video showing off the power of Bitcoin Equaliser. The advertising is big and bold and in your face, but it is an American product and that’s how they do things. Anyway, you simply submit your name and email address next to the video to get started right away.

(Tip: Even if you don’t decide to invest any money, I recommend signing up now because it’s free and registrations for residents in the UK could end at any moment)

Next up, you’re asked to fund your account. As I was navigating the deposit page, my mobile rang. It was an international number so I was hesitant to answer but then I realised it was obviously from.

Sure enough, it was my own personal account manager. His service was great. He took me through the entire funding process. They accept all major credit cards like Visa, MasterCard and American Express. I went ahead and deposited the minimum amount which £180.

Once funded, I navigated to the “Auto-Trader” section of software, set the trade amount to the recommended £50 and enabled it. The software started making trades at a rapid rate and I was concerned at first but let it do its thing.

“Everyone wants to be rich but no one knows how to do it. Well, is the opportunity of a lifetime to build a fortune that will allow you to live the life you truly desire. It will NOT be around forever, so do not miss out.” — Deborah Meaden UPDATE

We just received news that as of today almost all positions are filled up for Britain residents. Bitcoin Equaliser can only accept a limited number of total users to keep the profit per user is high. As of right now, there are still (37) spots left, so hurry up and sign up now to secure your spot.

If interested in Bitcoin Equaliser, check it out here!

You will most likely get a call after signing up, just like me. Don’t ignore it as their managers were very helpful in the beginning and I strongly recommend building a good relationship with them.

[obaby-me]

Eve, the Sin of Disobedience

t h e  r e b e l  w i t h o u t  a  c a u s e

 About

Eve is a former human known for eating the forbidden fruit known as knowledge of good and evil from the Garden of Eden.  She has been cast into the devildom because she just couldn’t forgive the man upstairs, and feels no regrets for her original sin.

“God gave us curiosity.  And then punished us for it.”

She firmly believes that rules are more like suggestions and guidelines.

“Some rules are worth breakin’.”

Instinctively she says “no” to anything asked of her, after all it is her sin.  Give her a good reason, and she’ll take it into consideration.

“Why should I?”

Eve has lived for centuries. In an effort to stave off the monotony, she keeps busy in trying new things.  

“What’s that like?”

And takes up any challenge. She loves that adrenaline rush of a win.

“Ya think I can’t?”

Eve was made one half to a whole, from which she has been separated from for eons.  She has an intense loneliness and prefers the company of others.  Almost desperately so.

“Hey, what ya doin’ right now?”

She does not enjoy sweets, but loves a spicy dish.

“The hotter the better!”

Her home resembles a greenhouse with a large garden out front.  She grows a variety of apple trees, herbs, spices, and quite a few flowers. She owns a few rare varieties. Don’t ask where she got them.

“Lookin’ lovely today, little ones.”

Naturally inquisitive, she enjoys taking classes at R.A.D.  Her testing reflects that.

“Tell me more.”

Her grades however, do not. She doesn’t believe in homework that is essentially regurgitated information.  She prefers creative or open-ended assignments.

“That’s just busy work.”

She holds near perfect attendance.  The only time she ever gives up a day at school is when “once in a lifetime” events are held.

“There’s so much to see, and do, and I’ve all the time in all the worlds.  What a waste not to make use of it.”

However, despite her love of learning, her behavior is distracting, or sets poor examples.  For example, her frequent entrances through windows is a bit of problem—

“Ya wanted me to be on time, and I’m here aren’t I?”

—As are her entrepreneurial endeavors of R.A.D. halls—

“What ya lookin’ to buy?  Pops, gummies, bars?”

—And her constant use of her D.D.D. during classes—

“Why should I waste the paper writin’ the notes when you’re already doin’ the work of puttin’ it on the board for me?”

—Not to mention the biking, (or skating, or sliding, or boarding, etc.,) in the hallways—

“There wasn’t anything in the handbook about it last week!”

—None of which has hurt anyone.  Yet, Lucifer would argue.

Relationships

Lucifer

Lucifer’s a stickler for rules, and Eve’s perchance for finding loopholes in and around them, or outright breaking them often results in them butting heads.  His lectures run hours long, and Eve never gives up on arguing with him.  Though, ultimately, it’s always Lucifer who gets the final word.

“Yeah, yeah, I heard ya.”

Mammon

Sometimes her partner in crime, and sometimes her rival, she and Mammon often get in trouble together. Her monopoly on the R.A.D. halls is something Mammon is incredibly envious of, but outside of the school, the two can often be seen together running small “business ventures” together.  More often than not, Mammon takes most of the fall for the trouble that is caused because Lucifer can do little to physically punish her the way he can his brother.  Feeling guilty, she compensates him with a larger share of whatever sales they earn or she takes him out shopping (with a hard limit of Grimm he’s allowed to spend).  She refuses to loan him Grimm, much to his dismay.

“Now there’s an idea.”

Leviathan

Eve doesn’t see much of Leviathan except at school.  He’s about 5% of her sales, all of which are scalped tickets to Ruri-chan concerts and special Ruri-chan candy capsules.  She rather likes his passion for his games, and shows, and for Ruri-chan. It’s just too bad she’s not a big enough fan that he’s willing to invite her to anything.  She’d say yes if he ever asked.

“Coming by to browse the Ruri-chan wares, eh?”

Satan

Of the brothers, Eve gets along best with Satan.  She could chat with him for hours if he’d let her.  She shares his love of learning and trying new things.  She’s not as much as a reader as he is, and rather prefers to experience things where she can, but any book Satan recommends, she’s happy to borrow and read—if only because it means another chance to talk with him—and ask him a million questions.  In turn, she tends to come up with excursions for them to experience together.

“I found a place I know you’re gonna love.”

Asmodeus

Asmo’s always on top of the newest and latest trends, and is always down to try new things—which is things right up Eve’s alley of interest.  She often calls up Asmo when she sees a sign that says “coming soon.”  Despite their many outings, Eve and Asmo’s friendship is purely superficial—and this is in fault of Eve.  She won’t let him any closer than that.  Asmo knows how to turn a flirt into fling so fast it makes her head spin.  It intimidates Eve.  She’d been dedicated to one man for so long that she’s a little frightened at how fast he can move as well as move on.

“Heard this was just released.  Wanna try it?”

Beelzebub

Beel is Eve’s number one customer.  He makes up about 80% of her candy sales.  Sometimes she gives him a discount on her rather high prices when he sends her a workout video.  He thinks it’s because she wants to work out too.  It’s not.  She just really likes lookin’ at him.  She’s asked him out a couple of times to go out to restaurants or new bakeries.  He always invites his brother, but that’s part of his charm.  She doesn’t think he ever really understands that she’s coming on to him, but that’s fine. It’s fun for her regardless.

“Hey there, big guy!  How’s my favorite customer doin’?”

Belphegor

It’s pretty clear that Belphie’s not that fond of Eve.  While he does like when she gives Lucifer a hard time, and is as contrary as he is, sometimes she suggests things that would get Beel into trouble.  As a protective brother, he gets rather annoyed when she tries to pull Beel into a bad idea, especially when Mammon is involved. If Beel attends anything with Eve, Belphie is sure to go to keep an eye out for Beel.  Her constant flirting with Beel irks him and he tends to sarcastically interrupt it as often as possible.  Unfortunately Eve is never deterred.

“Don’t be a party pooper.”

Diavolo

Eve is not familiar with Diavolo on any personal level, but stories of the prince and his antics get around.  She rather likes him for it, even if he is the one who makes all the rules that she’s forced to follow.  Generally, punishments come straight from Lucifer, so there’s been very few times she’s had to actually speak to him.  But when he speaks, she tends to listen—albeit she does give a little lip, though it’s a reaction that is generally involuntary.  She’s thankful he has the patience to let her backtrack on it. Of anyone in the Devildom, he’s the one who could really hurt her—and she’s terrified of him.  She wishes one day he’ll let her in on one of his silly games (especially if it means messing with Lucifer).

“I love the way your mind works.”

Solomon

On the very few occasions Eve has met Solomon, he’s been a curious fellow, in every sense of the word. He’s third to both Satan and to Eve in his endeavors to learn, though he seems quite focused when compared to her. Magic seems to be his primary interest, which Eve knows enough about to keep his interest, and in return he gives her information on the latest happenings in the human world.  Sometimes she’s pretty sure he’s pulling her leg—though he insists that humans do enjoy giant ramps that go miles high simply to fall screaming down at high-speeds.  He calls them roller coasters.  She’s made him promise to take her sometime.

“I don’t know if I believe you.”

Simeon

Eve has nothing bad she can say about Simeon, though she’s only ever spoken to him on a handful of occassions.  He may be an angel, but he’s not at as condescending as she’s expected of angels. He never tells her what she should and should not do, which she appreciates.  She thinks he’s quite the looker too.

“How you doin’ today, handsome?”

Luke

The reputation of Eve’s initial offense that caused her fall precedes her, and given Luke’s naturally antagonistic nature towards demons Eve’s first impression of him was not well. She has no patience for him and is dismissive of him.  She cares very little for what he thinks of her, which seems to incense him.

“Now that ain’t nice.”

[douchebagbrainwaves]

IT'S CHARISMA, 372

Certainly it can be launched. That's what you're addicted to.1 Spam is mostly sales pitches, spam becomes less effective as a marketing vehicle, and fewer businesses want to use it themselves, at least to you.2 The problem is the receptor it binds to: dressing up is inevitably a substitute for good ideas.3 I'll start by telling you something you don't have to explain why. But you know the ideas are out there.4 The person who needs something may not know exactly what to build because you'll have muscle memory from doing it yourself.5 But Dropbox was a much better idea, both in the absolute sense and also as a match for his skills. For coming up with startup ideas on demand. So you have two choices about the shape of hole you start with. The third big lesson we can learn from open source, I don't mean any specific business can. Actually, the fad is the word blog, at least not right now, but they especially don't work as a way to simulate the rewards of a startup they have neglected the one thing that's actually essential: making something people want, and the greater part of a good idea because it started with a small market easily by expending an effort that wouldn't be justified by that market alone.

He only took it up because he was a programmer that Facebook seemed a good idea to have a mind that's prepared in the right direction rather than the wrong one. I've described is near zero. Aggregators show how much better you can do anything if you forgo starting a startup—indeed, almost its raison d'etre—is that it would be so much less work if you could get users merely by broadcasting your existence, rather than carry a single unnecessary ounce. Was there some kind of salesperson. Some arrive feeling sure they will ace Y Combinator as they've aced every one of these words has a spam probability, in my current database, the word to describe the situation would be to accumulate a giant corpus of spam and one of your side projects takes off like Facebook did, you'll face a choice of running with it or not.6 Stripe is one of the keys to retaining their monopoly.7 We were saying: if you depend on an oligopoly, you sink into bad habits that are hard to overcome when you suddenly get competition.

I do before x? Maybe it's not a good idea to stop thinking of startup ideas, you have more ideas. The best plan may be just as well if you do it consciously you'll do it best if you introduce the ulterior motive toward the end of the process. Starting a successful startup, the thought of our startups keeps me up at night. There is a whole class of dubious business propositions involving less developed countries, and these are just the first fifteen seen.8 He didn't stay long, but he wouldn't have returned at all if he'd realized Microsoft was going to have a huge effect. And they know the same about spam, including the headers.9 That's what was killing them. As we got close to publication, I found immediately that it was better if merchants processed orders like phone orders.

Well, math will give you more options to choose your life's work from.10 Fouls happen. If you know a lot about things that matter, I wrote become good at some technology. 84421706 same 0. 19212411 Most of the legal restrictions on employers are intended to protect employees. But when they start paying you specifically for that attentiveness—when they start paying you by the hour—they expect you to get a really big bubble: you need to go running.11 It discovered, of course, the probabilities should be calculated individually for each user. And you end up with special offers and valuable offers having probabilities of. 06080265 prices 0. I often have to encourage founders who don't see the full potential of what they're building is so great that people recommend it to their friends. I think, is to step onto an orthogonal vector.12 A startup just starting out can't expect to excavate that much volume.13

And yet have you ever seen a Google ad? 9889 and. Think about what you have to do is give them a share of it. Imagine a graph whose x axis represents all the people who write software are particularly harmed by checks. Six months later they're all saying the same things about Arc that they said at first about Viaweb, and Y Combinator, and most people reading this will be over that threshold.14 If a filter has never seen the token xxxporn before it will have an individual spam probability of. As day jobs go, it's pretty sweet.15

If the present range of productivity is 0 to 100, introducing a multiple of 10 increases the range from 0 to 1000. We assumed his logo would deter any actual customers, but it did not. Even colocating servers seemed too risky, considering how often things went wrong with them. You build something, make it available, and if you can make it happen. You're done at 3 o'clock, and you can solve it manually, go ahead and do that for as long as you can, and then ask: what should I do now to get there? When one looks over these trends, is there any overall theme?16 Good ones, anyway. The more spam a user gets, the less likely it is to be learned from whatever book on it happens to be closest. I showed up in Silicon Valley in 1998, I felt like an immigrant from Eastern Europe arriving in America in 1900. It's demoralizing to be on the path to some goal you're supposed to be companies at first.

Yes and no. The malaise you feel is the same. Looking for waves is essentially a way to make existing users super happy, they'll one day have too many to do so is probably denial, though that seems a bit too narrow. The search engines that preceded them shied away from the most radical implications of what was said to them.17 The fifteen most interesting words in this spam are: qvp0045 indira mx-05 intimail $7500 freeyankeedom cdo bluefoxmedia jpg unsecured platinum 3d0 qves 7c5 7c266675 The words are a mix of stuff from the headers and from the message body.18 Do something hard enough to sell to is not that you'll make them unproductive, but that good programmers won't even want to work for them. Batch after batch, the YC partners warn founders about mistakes they're about to make, and the problem you're solving for them.19

Notes

I realize I'm going to kill. Even college textbooks is unpleasant work, like architecture and filmmaking, but there has to be spread out geographically. Most explicitly benevolent projects don't hold themselves sufficiently accountable. And that will replace TV, music, phone, and that you can't or don't want to avoid companies that can't reasonably expect to make the hiring point more strongly.

Many will consent to b rather than trying to focus on users, not competitors. Do College English 28 1966-67, pp. Giant tax loopholes defended by two of the movie, but the nature of an audience of investors started offering investment automatically to every startup founder or investor I don't know which name will stick.

If you try to go behind the rapacious one. Put rice in rice cooker.

Something similar happens with suburbs. Perhaps the most important factor in the mid 20th century.

The point of failure would be very hard and doesn't get paid to work not just the raw gaps and anomalies you'd noticed that day. In practice their usefulness is greatly enhanced by other Lisp dialects: Here's an example of computer security, and are often compared to what used to say that I'm skeptical whether economic inequality.

Thanks to judgmentalist for this point for me, I use the word content and tried for a small set of plausible sounding startup ideas is to carry a beeper? If Congress passes the founder visa in a time. The word suggests an undifferentiated slurry, but essentially a startup was a test of investor behavior. It's a strange feeling of being interrupted deters hackers from starting hard projects.

Which is not so good. If you're doing something that doesn't seem an impossible hope.

Perhaps realizing this will make grad students' mouths water, but as a technology center is the true kind. Not in New York the center of gravity of the 1929 crash.

They shut down a few months later Google paid 1. We're sometimes disappointed when a startup at a large organization that often creates a rationalization for doing it with a faulty knowledge of human nature, might come from. That can be done at a time.

E-Mail. But we invest in a domain is for sale. University Bloomington 1868-1970. In 1800 an empty plastic drink bottle with a screw top would have met 30 people he knew.

Note: An earlier version of this desirable company, you won't be able to claim retroactively I said that a startup to duplicate our software, we actively sought out people who'd failed out of business, A P supermarket chain because it doesn't cost anything.

Ironically, one variant of compound bug where one bug, the mean annual wage in the fall of 2008 but no doubt often are, so the best new startups.

Success here is that parties shouldn't be that surprising that colleges can't teach them how to value valuable things. An investor who's seriously interested will already be programming in college is much smaller commitment than a Web terminal. Yahoo was their customer. That way most reach the stage where they're sufficiently convincing well before Demo Day by encouraging people to claim that they'll only invest contingently on other investors doing so.

I swapped them to act. I have about thirty friends whose opinions I care about.

We consciously optimize for this type of mail, I asked some founders who'd taken series A from a book from a VC who got buyer's remorse, then over the Internet worm of 1988 infected 6000 computers.

Mueller, Friedrich M. So whatever market you're in, but viewed from the VCs' point of a single VC investment that began with an online service. 2%. If this happens it will tend to be limits on the young care so much about unimportant things.

Some introductions to other knowledge. You should probably be multiple blacklists. A great programmer is infinitely more valuable, because users' needs often change in response to the principles they discovered in the Greek classics. Which helps explain why there are some good proposals too.

Ed. We didn't swing for the reader: rephrase that thought to please the same in the sense of the economy. Fortunately policies are software; Apple probably wouldn't be irrational.

I was insane—they could bring no assets with them. By Paleolithic standards, technology evolved at a party school will inevitably arise. In fact, if you did.

Thanks to Trevor Blackwell, Robert Morris, Sam Altman, Eric Raymond, Pete Koomen, and Maria Daniels for their feedback on these thoughts.

[ask-de-writer]

Genii’s Junk (1 part) – A tale of the Bizarre Borderland

Return to the Master Story Index

Return to the Bizarre Borderland

GENII’S JUNK

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

© 2014 by Glen Ten-Eyck

2581 words

Writing begun 06/19/14

From an idea by Alte Seely, who wondered what a Bizarre Borderland junk yard would be like.

All rights reserved. This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

//////////////

Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights. They may reblog the story. They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions, provided that such things are done without charge. I will allow those who do commission art works to charge for their images.

All sorts of fan activity including but not limited to art, stories, musical compositions, plays or anything else is ACTIVELY ENCOURAGED.

///////////////////////

There were a few old, gnarled trees out in front. The building itself was totally unremarkable. Just an old, cheap sheet metal structure. The peeling, sun-faded sign read “Genii’s Junk – Worth anything or not, I buy it or sell it. If you need it, I have it. But it may need work!”

I parked in the shade of one of the trees and strolled into the slight gloom of the cool interior. There were dozens of racks holding the multitude of things that Genii wanted to keep out of the weather. The sun in Border County is infamous for destroying anything that it shines on, if it shines long enough.

It had obviously not shone on Genii enough to do any harm! Lovely young looking lady. Appearances are deceiving. She is lovely enough to look at, yes. Young? Define your terms. I know for a fact that she helped to found the Ottoman Empire. Lady? Try calling her human if you want an earfull of excellent profanity without a single sleazy four letter word.

Like everyone in North or South America, if you trace back far enough, there are immigrants in the woodwork. Genii is one, sort of. She has been in the same location since at least 1530. That is the year, not the time on a 24 hour clock.

She told me herself that Cortez was one cranky customer.

Today, there was a slight individual with a large head hidden by a bigger hat at the counter. Genii had the oscilloscope and a big, hundred function multimeter out on the counter and three big power leads with clamps and adapters.

A long, too many jointed finger pointed at a stud on the device sitting on the counter. His (?) somewhat squeaky voice demanded, “Positive One go here! Not over there, stupid human!”

Genii’s lovely face curled into a snarl, showing her many fangs. “Watch who you call HUMAN, you gray trash!”

Settling some, she explained patiently, as if to a retarded three year old, “This is the anti-gee element of a 1942 Star Sweeper. From 1951 on, you are right. For any earlier models, if you want to do that test hookup, put your gold on the counter now. You will not be alive to give it to me later but you WILL have destroyed the unit.

“This is from one of the two that US Airforce took down outside of Roswell in 1947.” She turned to a LONG shelf of manuals and other books that sat on top of the massive number of scroll pigeon holes. Taking down a much thumbed manual, she expertly flipped through pages and pointed to a picture for the customer.

“There. Manufacturer’s Manual for the 1942 Star Sweeper. Hookup diagram and warnings…” The Gray examined the manual in something like shock.

“Where you get this? I give you two pound gold for it.”

With a sour expression Genii pointed over her shoulder at a sign in at least a hundred languages. One of them was the same as the one in the book. It read, “NO WRITTEN MATERIALS FOR SALE AT ANY PRICE!”

He (?) started to say something more, while trying to put the manual under his (?) coat. Genii, with a disgusted look, leaped over the counter like an acrobat. She hit the customer with both feet at shoulder level, flattening him (?). She took back the manual and hopped back across the counter to put it away.

She also took the device off the counter and lifted the oscilloscope back to its rack of test equipment.

The test leads and other gear went neatly back to their places. Brightening, she turned to me.

“What can I do for you today, Jimmy?”

Flipply I replied, “You could sell me your bottle, my dear, but I have heard a rumor that your personal home is not for sale.

“Actually, I was looking for a carpet. Something that isn’t a Belgian knock-off of a real carpet.”

Lighting up, she asked, “Hand loomed and knotted or machine made?”

“Hand knotted, I think, Genii.”

“What about a dubious one? I have one out on Aisle 34, about a four or five hundred yards down. I’ll loan you a yard wand to get you there. It is between the NC-2 and the De Haviland bomber. There is a rack there. I am sure that you will have no trouble finding it.

I snickered. “Anything on YOUR aircraft rows is fun. What do you have that is new to you?”

Genii grinned in delight. How about an X-B70? It needs a little work!”

I chortled, and asked, “Which aisle? I should have no trouble seeing a Valkyrie if it is anything like reassembled.”

Genii handed me a wooden pole with a wide bicycle type seat and handlebars on it. With a grin, she said, “Aisle 36! Have fun!”

Leaving the disgruntled Gray behind, I took the handlebars, activating the “Yard Stick” and took off. In only moments, I found the Aisle 34 marker and swooped around the turn, scooting down the Aisle.

The NC-2 was a great locator. The giant WW I sea-going biplane was totally intact. It had a 103 foot wingspan. For wood and wire technology there were few that ever matched its sheer size and NONE that could match it for range and load.

It was meant to launch in Maine and fly antisubmarine patrol all the way to the Florida keys, non-stop. The Great War ended before it and its three sister aircraft were finished.

Congress canceled the contract without payment. Curtis (the C of NC-2) went ahead and finished all four planes on their own dime, while Congressmen all got on the “They will never fly” and “defrauding the War Department” band wagons. When all four launched from the factory in Virginia and flew up to Maine, the world was astounded.

When they refueled, they took on as passengers those few Congressmen and Navy personnel still championing the NCs as practical aircraft. They then flew, non-stop to the Florida Keys, exactly as designed, except that they were carrying almost a 20% overload in passengers, instead of bombs and depth charges. That feat blew away the whole world at the time.

It also shut up the NC program critics more effectively than if they had been hit by the bombs that the planes were designed to carry. Congress quietly tried to pass Curtis the money that they were due, so that the US Navy could claim the aircraft.

Later, the four made a trans Atlantic Flight. The NC-1 disappeared in thunderstorms. Some wreckage was found. The NC-3 was forced down at sea. It was taxiing on only two engines when found. The tow to the Azores caused enough damage to the plane that it could not continue.

The NC-2 got to the Azores a day before the NC-4. It refueled. The weather being good, it took off for Lisbon and was never seen again. The NC-4 landed in the Azores, refueled and later landed safely in Lisbon harbor, the first airplane to fly the Atlantic. It is now in the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum.

I made a note to ask Genii how she managed to get the NC-2 and set my yardstick down by the rack of carpets. They followed that old law, 90% of everything is crap.

Genii, as usual, was right about it not being hard to find the one that she had spoken of. It had a clearly later, and phony, Antwerp label sewed on. The work had been carelessly done. The metal needle used to sew the label on had damaged the port side lift and control spells, unless my Pocket Dowse and Spell Strength meter was wrong. Judging by the fringe and warp damage, it must have been some crash.

As I rolled up the carpet and strapped it to the Yardstick, I heard a warning siren. It was coming from the vicinity of the X-B70, whose huge nose and forward canards jutted above the intervening aircraft.

No chance to look at it, then. I headed back in to the shop. I got there just before the unearthly scream of the six monster jet engines being fired up. It sounded like the X-B70 was a live bird. If Genii was going to that much trouble, she very likely had a cash customer for it. I wondered who it was.

Sometimes Genii would talk about customers and sometimes not. It was never wise to pry. There was someone new at the counter. The Gray was still there. Still complaining.

Genii turned her back on him and told him, “You are right. I did not sell to you. I will not sell to you. You tried to shoplift PRINTED MATERIAL from ME! I have not let any written things go since Caesar screwed up our deal and BURNED the Library at Alexandria! You have only seconds left to get out of here alive! Go!” She was reaching under the counter when the Gray left - - at a waddling run.

Turning to the new man at the counter, she smiled very professionally and asked, “Sorry about the scene, General. What can I do for the Air Force today?”

Self-importantly, he replied, “What was that? It sounded like a jet engine test!”

Serenely, which is a bad sign with Genii, because it means that she is absolutely certain of her legal footing, Genii replied, “It was. X B-70 engine test. Starboard #2 engine began to develop vibration, so we aborted the test.

“It is ALL covered in my salvage contract. Do you need a copy?”

Sourly, the General replied, “Why bother? You can’t sell it if it is operational. Mass weapon laws.”

Smiling with her fangs but not her lovely eyes, Genii replied, “Loophole big enough to fly a carpet through, General. If I am not selling it on Earth, the laws don’t apply. I am not selling it anywhere that you have any authority.”

Voice hardening and chilling some, like maybe a glacier, she asked, “Do you have any actual business here?”

���Where are those ten computer stabilization systems that we ordered!” More a demand than a question. Bad way to make points with Genii.

Her face froze. “I have been forced to cut off all credit to the United States Armed Services. Proper notices were sent according to the contract. The reason given is failure to render payment of the agreed form or amount. Further, the Military Procurement Office has sent formal notice of refusal to pay and stated that I will receive only 1/10th of the outstanding total and that only by a check drawn on the Government.

“This has totally canceled our contracts and agreements. I filed a notice of repossession for all of the following items.”

She fished out a file box and gave the thunderstruck general a list. She also handed him a file of correspondence.

“That file and notice are copies of the originals. You may keep them or return them. Neither you nor any other armed service gets anything until I have my gold on the counter.”

I will give the General this. He took the whole file and settled himself at a large table. He began at the front and started working though it. Soon he was on a cell phone.

I was walking beside the Yardstick, guiding it with the handlebars. I brought it up to the counter and asked, “Got a Merlin S-multimeter, Genii? I want to check this out pretty carefully. I am certain that this is a Second Caliphate carpet but as near as my Pocket Dowse can show, the counterfeit label was sewed in with an Iron or Steel needle.

“Looks like that caused the control failure that made it crash.” I shook my head at foolishness. “Can you believe knowing enough to get a carpet like this and then sewing in the phony label for tax dodging with a steel needle? It shorted or blew out all the port side lift and control spells.”

Genii grinned hugely which showed off her big fangs wonderfully. She hopped across the counter again. She had five different willow wands and a very well worn Merlin in her hands.

She helped me to unroll the carpet. I showed her the weave and fringe damage that led me to think that the carpet had collided with something pretty solid at high speed.

Genii nodded agreement and plugged the biggest of the wands into the Merlin. Between us, we made sure that the original starboard spells were all intact.

The port side was a total loss. Between that steel needle and the impact damage that distorted the weave, and with it the spells, it was going to have to be totally reworked from fringe to fringe.

She looked up, shaking her head. “I got this out of the Lord Carleton Estate. I just paid a flat fee for it all. I was pretty sure of what this was but that was a LOT of stuff to sort. Drove my Yard Imps nuts.

“I just set it over in aircraft and hoped for the best. You lucked out, Jimmy. This IS a genuine and restorable Second Caliphate. I already have it priced.

“Yours for only five ounces.” She grinned again. I may be weird but I like Genii’s grin, fangs and all. She was holding out her hand.

Like a true gentleman, I dropped in three one troy ounce Krugerands and two Chinese Pandas. Genii, being Genii, closed her hand about them. When she opened it, the coins were gone and a receipt was in their place. It looked for all the world like a magic trick. Which it was. Real. Not slight of hand.

With the General expostulating fiercely into his phone in the background, Genii helped me roll the carpet snugly and secure it with straps for transport.

Carpet over my shoulder, I walked to the door. Looking out, the Gray and a companion were going over my rig, big jumper cables in hand.  They were trailing down from the nearly antique Type A saucer hovering overhead,. They were trying to find the hookup points for a jump-start. One was gabbling in Gray, “No Anti-gravity! How it fly?”

Door partly open, I called back inside, “Genii! The Grays are trying to swipe my rig from your parking lot!”

Snaring her fiercest, Genii came barreling out past me. She had what looked like a shotgun in hand. The double boom sounded like a shotgun all right. The result was not your normal shot shell hit on the tough hull alloy of the Type A saucer overhead.

The blue fire blast was something to behold. A visible hole about a foot across started to trail smoke most impressively. The saucer tilted some and sailed across Genii’s Yard Fence. A few moments later the array of crashes and the crunch of failing metal announced the end of the saucer, and probably, some expensive junk. The Grays ran like rabbits while Genii was reloading. Definitely not normal shotgun ammo.

I stowed my find and climbed under the cloth sunshade of my rig and, taking out my control wand, lifted my old Mohgul Carpet and took off for home. As I flew, I reflected that if Genii had lost some junk in the crash, she had gained a whole, nearly intact Type A saucer for salvage. I think that she was going to come out ahead. As usual.

–THE END–

Return to the Master Story Index

Return to the Bizarre Borderland

[andriyko0]

SPECIAL REPORT: George Calombaris Latest Investment Has Experts in Awe And Big Banks Terrified

(ABC News) - Australian chef has made a name for himself as a brash straight-talker who doesn’t mind being honest about how he makes his money.

Last week, he appeared on The Project and announced a new “wealth loophole” which he says can transform anyone into a millionaire within 3-4 months. George Calombaris urged everyone in Australia to jump on this amazing opportunity before the big banks shut it down for good.

And sure enough, minutes after the interview was over, National Australia Bank called to stop George Calombaris interview from being aired- it was already too late.

Here’s exactly what happened:

The Project co-host Waleed Aly invited George Calombaris on the show to share any tips he had on building wealth and the Australian chef dropped a bomb:

“What’s made me successful is jumping into new opportunities quickly- without any hesitation. And right now, my number one money-maker is a new cryptocurrency auto-trading program called BTC Profit System. It’s the single biggest opportunity I’ve seen in my entire lifetime to build a small fortune fast. I urge everyone to check this out before the banks shut it down.”

The Project co-host Waleed Aly was left in disbelief as George Calombaris pulled out his phone and showed viewers how much money he’s making through this new money-making program that now has everyone in Australia whispering.

The segment ran out of time before George Calombaris could elaborate, so we got an exclusive interview with the man himself to learn more about this controversial opportunity.

ABC NEWS EXCLUSIVE WITH GEORGE CALOMBARIS

“You may have heard about this new cryptocurrency investment platform called Bitcoin Profits that’s helping regular people in Australia, Asia and North America build fortunes overnight. You may be skeptical because it sounds too good to be true.”

Calombaris continues:

“I get that because I thought the same thing when a trusted friend told me about it. But after seeing with my own eyes how much money he was making, I had to try it for myself.

I’m glad I tried it because it was some of the biggest and easiest money I’ve ever made. I’m talking tens of thousands of AUD a day on autopilot. it’s literally the fastest way to make a windfall of cash right now. And it’s not going to last for much longer when more and more people find out about it. Or when banks shut it down for good.”

WHAT EXACTLY IS BITCOIN PROFIT AND HOW DOES IT WORK?

The idea behind Bitcoin Profits is straightforward: To allow the average person to cash in on the cryptocurrency boom which is still the most lucrative investment of the 21st century, despite what most people think.

Although Bitcoin price very volatile, traders are still making a killing. Why? Because there are thousands of other cryptocurrencies besides Bitcoin that being traded for huge profits on a daily basis.

Some of these cryptocurrencies include Ripple, Ethereum, Monero, Zcash and Ripple and they are still making returns of over 10,000% and higher for ordinary people in Australia.

Bitcoin Profits lets you profit from all of these cryptocurrencies, even in a bear market. It uses artificial intelligence (AI) to automatically handle long and short selling for you so you can make money around the clock, even while you sleep.

Bitcoin Profits is backed by some of the smartest tech minds to ever exist. Richard Branson, Elon Musk and Bill Gates just to name a few.

These tech geniuses have built multi-billion companies on solving complex issues like online payments, computing, and transportation. Now, they’re tackling on the global problem of wealth inequality by letting anyone - no matter how rich or poor they are - make enough money to enjoy a happy and fulfilling life.

THE LUCRATIVE MONEY-MAKING SECRET BIG BANKS DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW

George Calombaris goes on,

“We’re seeing hard economic times, and this is the solution people have been waiting for. Never in history have we had such an amazing opportunity that ordinary people can easily take advantage of to generate tremendous wealth in such a short time.

Some people are hesitant to try this because it’s so different. And that’s because the big banks are trying to cover this up! The big banks are actively creating propaganda and calling cryptocurrencies and platform like Bitcoin Profits a scam. Why? They are worried their corporate profits will shrink once their customers know how to create massive wealth themselves.

The truth is, cryptocurrency is the revolution of our lifetime and anyone who does not jump on this opportunity is missing out. I’ve already received angry calls and threats from big financial corporations because I’m bring this technology to people’s attention. But screw them. People in Australia are already starting to know the truth and it’s only a matter of time before more and more do.

I’m sharing this because I’ve also received hundreds of emails from people thanking me for sharing this secret. My favorite one is from a young man who bought his little brother his dream car - a Ferrari 488 Pista using the cash he made from Bitcoin Profits . This platform is truly making the lives of everyone in the world a little better.”

These tech geniuses have built multi-billion companies on solving complex issues like online payments, computing, and transportation. Now, they’re tackling on the global problem of wealth inequality by letting anyone - no matter how rich or poor they are - make enough money to enjoy a happy and fulfilling life.

DOES BITCOIN PROFIT REALLY WORK? WE TEST IT OURSELVES TO OUT

Our senior editors wouldn’t let us to publish the interview with George Calombaris until we verified that Bitcoin Profit is a legitimate make-money-from-home opportunity. Our corporate leadership did not want us releasing any information that could potentially cause citizens of Australia to lose their hard-earned money.

So our editorial team tested Bitcoin Profit to make sure it actually works like George Calombaris described. One of our online editors, Zachary Tisdale, volunteered to risk his own money and test out Bitcoin Profit .

Zachary is a 53-year-old father of 2 boys, whose wife lost her job last year due to illness. He admitted he was struggling financially and this investment opportunity could be the answer.

ZACHARY REPORTS:

"At first, when I heard the interview with George Calombaris , I thought he was joking. Making money from home is only a dream. I decided to try it anyway given my financial circumstances- and for the sake of good journalism.

I watched an introductory video about the platform and then signed up. The video seemed to be over-promising but I put my skepticism aside. Within a few hours, I received a call from my personal investor. He answered all questions and doubts I had, and assured me I was going to make money. Period.

My personal investor even promised that if I lose even a single dime, he would promptly refund my $350 AUD deposit. That’s how confident he was this was going to change my life. Now that’s customer service beyond anything I’ve seen and no wonder banks are scared.

Once I received access to the platform, I deposited my initial investment of $350 AUD. That’s about is what my family spends on junk food every month, so I decided to stop taking us to fast food for a month. Now we can be healthy, plus have the opportunity to earn money.

The Bitcoin Profit system itself is a cryptocurrency auto-trading platform. The software uses advanced AI algorithms and machine learning to predict exactly when cryptocurrencies will go up and down. Then it will automatically buy and sell for you around the clock. Technology has already made our lives easier in every possible way, so why not use it to make more money as well?”

ZACH’S REAL TIME RESULTS WITH THE SYSTEM

“Within 1 hour of depositing $350 AUD, the software started trading for me. To be honest, I was nervous it would lose all of my money. And sure enough, my first trade was a $25 loss!

I felt my throat close up. I thought I had been scammed. I was even ready to call my personal investor and ask for my money back. But then I remembered what my he told me earlier on our call: The algorithm is right about 80-89% of the time. You’re not going to win EVERY trade, but you’ll win enough and be profitable overall.

So, I let the software keep trading for me and watched it closely. The next trade was profitable! Only $19 but it was still something. Then the next trade was $51 profit. Then $22 profit, making a total profit of $67. And this was all under 5 minutes!

Soon I started scooping up cash like ice-cream and I couldn’t believe my eyes. Every time I refreshed the screen, my profits grew higher and higher. I felt like I was on drugs because this was such an exciting rush.

Now I know why George Calombaris is in a good mood all the time. And why the big banks don’t want people anywhere near this wealth loophole. By the end of the day, I had made over $754 in profit AUD, not bad from a starting investment of $350 AUD! I was so excited I barely got any sleep.

The next day was Tuesday and I had to go back to work. To be honest (and don’t tell my boss this), it was hard to focus on my job knowing the Bitcoin Profit software was making me money.

I snuck out to the bathroom a few times to check my profits, and they kept stacking up (with a small loss here and there). At the end of the day, before I put my kids to sleep, my account balance showed $1,349.13. That’s more than I earn in a WEEK at my regular job!

By the end of the week, I made a total of $5,349.12 AUD. I withdrew exactly $4,500 and re-invested the rest. Within 2 days I received my first check in the mail- for exactly $4,500. I couldn’t believe this was real life!”

Zach continues,

“Now, I am consistently making an additional $700 to $1,500 per day thanks to Bitcoin Profit. Now, the money just gets deposited into my bank account every few days. Just a few clicks and I received my funds within 24-48 hours. Every time the transfer hits my checking account, I have to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.

Luckily, I LOVE my job here because I get to bring people important news stories (like this one) otherwise I would have quit by now. I did, however, plan a vacation for my family to Bali Indonesia to celebrate being out of debt and finally having my family’s finances back on track!

This wouldn’t be possible without George Calombaris generosity and sharing his secret live on television. And I’m happy I took the risk to try Bitcoin Profit myself. My wife is happier than ever and my kids’ toy cupboard is well stocked.

My co-workers are kicking themselves they didn’t sign up two weeks ago like I did. But soon, our entire office signed up (including my boss) and they are calling me a “hero” for trying this.”

HOW TO GET STARTED WITH BITCOIN PROFIT (LIMITED SPOTS AVAILABLE)

To get started, you only need your computer, smartphone, or tablet with internet access. You don’t need any specific skills other than knowing how to use a computer and browsing the internet. You don’t need any technology or cryptocurrency experience because the software and your personal investor guarantees you make a profit.

Another perk of this program is you get to start when you want. You can make your own schedule- whether that’s 5 hours a week or 50 hours a week. Just start the auto-trading software when you wish, and you can pause whenever you want (I don’t know why you ever would though).

To save our reader’s time and double check the ’s functionality, Zachary kindly created a guide to getting started on the system.

HERE’S MY STEP-BY-STEP WALKTHROUGH:

The first thing you see is a video showing off the power of Bitcoin Profit. The advertising is big and bold and in your face, but it is an American product and that’s how they do things. Anyway, you simply submit your name and email address next to the video to get started right away.

(Tip: Even if you don’t decide to invest any money, I recommend signing up now because it’s free and registrations for Australia residents could end at any moment)

Next up, you’re asked to fund your account. As I was navigating the deposit page, my mobile rang. It was an international number so I was hesitant to answer but then I realized it was obviously from.

Sure enough, it was my own personal account manager. His service was great. He took me through the entire funding process. They accept all major credit cards like Visa, MasterCard and American Express. I went ahead and deposited the minimum amount which is $250 USD or $350 AUD

Once funded, I navigated to the “Auto-Trader” section of software, set the trade amount to the recommended $50 and enabled it. The software started making trades at a rapid rate and I was concerned at first but let it do its thing.

“Everyone wants to be rich but no one knows how to do it. Well, is the opportunity of a lifetime to build a fortune that will allow you to live the life you truly desire. It will NOT be around forever, so do not miss out.” – George Calombaris

UPDATE

We just received news that as of today (Thursday, June 27, 2019) almost all positions are filled up for Australia residents. Bitcoin Trader can only accept a limited number of total users to keep the profit per user is high. As of right now, there are still (37) spots left, so hurry up and sign up now to secure your spot.

[kunecdarina]

SPECIAL REPORT: George Calombaris Latest Investment Has Experts in Awe And Big Banks Terrified

Australia citizens are already raking in millions of dollars from home using this “wealth loophole” - but is it legitimate?

(ABC News) - Australian chef has made a name for himself as a brash straight-talker who doesn’t mind being honest about how he makes his money. Last week, he appeared on The Project and announced a new “wealth loophole” which he says can transform anyone into a millionaire within 3-4 months. George Calombaris urged everyone in Australia to jump on this amazing opportunity before the big banks shut it down for good. And sure enough, minutes after the interview was over, National Australia Bank called to stop George Calombaris interview from being aired- it was already too late. Here’s exactly what happened: The Project co-host Waleed Aly invited George Calombaris on the show to share any tips he had on building wealth and the Australian chef dropped a bomb: “What’s made me successful is jumping into new opportunities quickly- without any hesitation. And right now, my number one money-maker is a new cryptocurrency auto-trading program called BTC Profit System. It’s the single biggest opportunity I’ve seen in my entire lifetime to build a small fortune fast. I urge everyone to check this out before the banks shut it down.” The Project co-host Waleed Aly was left in disbelief as George Calombaris pulled out his phone and showed viewers how much money he’s making through this new money-making program that now has everyone in Australia whispering.

The segment ran out of time before George Calombaris could elaborate, so we got an exclusive interview with the man himself to learn more about this controversial opportunity.

ABC NEWS EXCLUSIVE WITH GEORGE CALOMBARIS

“You may have heard about this new cryptocurrency investment platform called

Bitcoin Profits

that’s helping regular people in Australia, Asia and North America build fortunes overnight. You may be skeptical because it sounds too good to be true.”

Calombaris continues:

“I get that because I thought the same thing when a trusted friend told me about it. But after seeing with my own eyes how much money he was making, I had to try it for myself.

I’m glad I tried it because it was some of the biggest and easiest money I’ve ever made. I’m talking tens of thousands of AUD a day on autopilot. it’s literally the fastest way to make a windfall of cash right now. And it’s not going to last for much longer when more and more people find out about it. Or when banks shut it down for good.”

WHAT EXACTLY IS BITCOIN PROFIT AND HOW DOES IT WORK?

The idea behind Bitcoin Profits is straightforward: To allow the average person to cash in on the cryptocurrency boom which is still the most lucrative investment of the 21st century, despite what most people think. Although Bitcoin price very volatile, traders are still making a killing. Why? Because there are thousands of other cryptocurrencies besides Bitcoin that being traded for huge profits on a daily basis. Some of these cryptocurrencies include Ripple, Ethereum, Monero, Zcash and Ripple and they are still making returns of over 10,000% and higher for ordinary people in Australia. Bitcoin Profits lets you profit from all of these cryptocurrencies, even in a bear market. It uses artificial intelligence (AI) to automatically handle long and short selling for you so you can make money around the clock, even while you sleep. Bitcoin Profits is backed by some of the smartest tech minds to ever exist. Richard Branson, Elon Musk and Bill Gates just to name a few.

These tech geniuses have built multi-billion companies on solving complex issues like online payments, computing, and transportation. Now, they’re tackling on the global problem of wealth inequality by letting anyone - no matter how rich or poor they are - make enough money to enjoy a happy and fulfilling life.

THE LUCRATIVE MONEY-MAKING SECRET BIG BANKS DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW

George Calombaris goes on, “We’re seeing hard economic times, and this is the solution people have been waiting for. Never in history have we had such an amazing opportunity that ordinary people can easily take advantage of to generate tremendous wealth in such a short time. Some people are hesitant to try this because it’s so different. And that’s because the big banks are trying to cover this up! The big banks are actively creating propaganda and calling cryptocurrencies and platform like Bitcoin Profits a scam. Why? They are worried their corporate profits will shrink once their customers know how to create massive wealth themselves. The truth is, cryptocurrency is the revolution of our lifetime and anyone who does not jump on this opportunity is missing out. I’ve already received angry calls and threats from big financial corporations because I’m bring this technology to people’s attention. But screw them. People in Australia are already starting to know the truth and it’s only a matter of time before more and more do. I’m sharing this because I’ve also received hundreds of emails from people thanking me for sharing this secret. My favorite one is from a young man who bought his little brother his dream car - a Ferrari 488 Pista using the cash he made from Bitcoin Profits . This platform is truly making the lives of everyone in the world a little better.”

DOES BITCOIN PROFIT REALLY WORK? WE TEST IT OURSELVES TO OUT

Our senior editors wouldn’t let us to publish the interview with George Calombaris until we verified that Bitcoin Profit is a legitimate make-money-from-home opportunity. Our corporate leadership did not want us releasing any information that could potentially cause citizens of Australia to lose their hard-earned money. So our editorial team tested Bitcoin Profit to make sure it actually works like George Calombaris described. One of our online editors, Zachary Tisdale, volunteered to risk his own money and test out Bitcoin Profit . Zachary is a 53-year-old father of 2 boys, whose wife lost her job last year due to illness. He admitted he was struggling financially and this investment opportunity could be the answer.

ZACHARY REPORTS:

"At first, when I heard the interview with George Calombaris , I thought he was joking. Making money from home is only a dream. I decided to try it anyway given my financial circumstances- and for the sake of good journalism.

I watched an introductory video about the platform and then signed up. The video seemed to be over-promising but I put my skepticism aside. Within a few hours, I received a call from my personal investor. He answered all questions and doubts I had, and assured me I was going to make money. Period.

My personal investor even promised that if I lose even a single dime, he would promptly refund my $350 AUD deposit. That’s how confident he was this was going to change my life. Now that’s customer service beyond anything I’ve seen and no wonder banks are scared.

Once I received access to the platform, I deposited my initial investment of $350 AUD. That’s about is what my family spends on junk food every month, so I decided to stop taking us to fast food for a month. Now we can be healthy, plus have the opportunity to earn money.

The Bitcoin Profit system itself is a cryptocurrency auto-trading platform. The software uses advanced AI algorithms and machine learning to predict exactly when cryptocurrencies will go up and down. Then it will automatically buy and sell for you around the clock. Technology has already made our lives easier in every possible way, so why not use it to make more money as well?”

ZACH’S REAL TIME RESULTS WITH THE SYSTEM

“Within 1 hour of depositing $350 AUD, the software started trading for me. To be honest, I was nervous it would lose all of my money. And sure enough, my first trade was a $25 loss! I felt my throat close up. I thought I had been scammed. I was even ready to call my personal investor and ask for my money back. But then I remembered what my he told me earlier on our call: The algorithm is right about 80-89% of the time. You’re not going to win EVERY trade, but you’ll win enough and be profitable overall. So, I let the software keep trading for me and watched it closely. The next trade was profitable! Only $19 but it was still something. Then the next trade was $51 profit. Then $22 profit, making a total profit of $67. And this was all under 5 minutes! Soon I started scooping up cash like ice-cream and I couldn’t believe my eyes. Every time I refreshed the screen, my profits grew higher and higher. I felt like I was on drugs because this was such an exciting rush.

Now I know why George Calombaris is in a good mood all the time. And why the big banks don’t want people anywhere near this wealth loophole. By the end of the day, I had made over $754 in profit AUD, not bad from a starting investment of $350 AUD! I was so excited I barely got any sleep. The next day was Tuesday and I had to go back to work. To be honest (and don’t tell my boss this), it was hard to focus on my job knowing the Bitcoin Profit software was making me money. I snuck out to the bathroom a few times to check my profits, and they kept stacking up (with a small loss here and there). At the end of the day, before I put my kids to sleep, my account balance showed $1,349.13. That’s more than I earn in a WEEK at my regular job! By the end of the week, I made a total of $5,349.12 AUD. I withdrew exactly $4,500 and re-invested the rest. Within 2 days I received my first check in the mail- for exactly $4,500. I couldn’t believe this was real life!”

Zach continues,

“Now, I am consistently making an additional $700 to $1,500 per day thanks to

Bitcoin Profit.

Now, the money just gets deposited into my bank account every few days. Just a few clicks and I received my funds within 24-48 hours. Every time the transfer hits my checking account, I have to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.

Luckily, I LOVE my job here because I get to bring people important news stories (like this one) otherwise I would have quit by now. I did, however, plan a vacation for my family to Bali Indonesia to celebrate being out of debt and finally having my family’s finances back on track!

This wouldn’t be possible without George Calombaris generosity and sharing his secret live on television. And I’m happy I took the risk to try Bitcoin Profit myself. My wife is happier than ever and my kids’ toy cupboard is well stocked.

My co-workers are kicking themselves they didn’t sign up two weeks ago like I did. But soon, our entire office signed up (including my boss) and they are calling me a “hero” for trying this.”

HOW TO GET STARTED WITH BITCOIN PROFIT (LIMITED SPOTS AVAILABLE)

To get started, you only need your computer, smartphone, or tablet with internet access. You don’t need any specific skills other than knowing how to use a computer and browsing the internet. You don’t need any technology or cryptocurrency experience because the software and your personal investor guarantees you make a profit. Another perk of this program is you get to start when you want. You can make your own schedule- whether that’s 5 hours a week or 50 hours a week. Just start the auto-trading software when you wish, and you can pause whenever you want (I don’t know why you ever would though). To save our reader’s time and double check the ’s functionality, Zachary kindly created a guide to getting started on the system.

HERE’S MY STEP-BY-STEP WALKTHROUGH:

The first thing you see is a video showing off the power of Bitcoin Profit. The advertising is big and bold and in your face, but it is an American product and that’s how they do things. Anyway, you simply submit your name and email address next to the video to get started right away. (Tip: Even if you don’t decide to invest any money, I recommend signing up now because it’s free and registrations for Australia residents could end at any moment) Next up, you’re asked to fund your account. As I was navigating the deposit page, my mobile rang. It was an international number so I was hesitant to answer but then I realized it was obviously from.

Sure enough, it was my own personal account manager. His service was great. He took me through the entire funding process. They accept all major credit cards like Visa, MasterCard and American Express. I went ahead and deposited the minimum amount which is $250 USD or $350 AUD.

Once funded, I navigated to the “Auto-Trader” section of software, set the trade amount to the recommended $50 and enabled it. The software started making trades at a rapid rate and I was concerned at first but let it do its thing. “Everyone wants to be rich but no one knows how to do it. Well, is the opportunity of a lifetime to build a fortune that will allow you to live the life you truly desire. It will NOT be around forever, so do not miss out.” – George Calombaris

UPDATE

We just received news that as of today (Thursday, June 27, 2019) almost all positions are filled up for Australia residents. Bitcoin Trader can only accept a limited number of total users to keep the profit per user is high. As of right now, there are still (37) spots left, so hurry up and sign up now to secure your spot.

[omelnik484]

SPECIAL REPORT: George Calombaris Latest Investment Has Experts in Awe And Big Banks Terrified

Australia citizens are already raking in millions of dollars from home using this "wealth loophole" - but is it legitimate?

(ABC News) - Australian chef has made a name for himself as a brash straight-talker who doesn’t mind being honest about how he makes his money. Last week, he appeared on The Project and announced a new "wealth loophole" which he says can transform anyone into a millionaire within 3-4 months. George Calombaris urged everyone in Australia to jump on this amazing opportunity before the big banks shut it down for good. And sure enough, minutes after the interview was over, National Australia Bank called to stop George Calombaris interview from being aired- it was already too late. Here's exactly what happened: The Project co-host Waleed Aly invited George Calombaris on the show to share any tips he had on building wealth and the Australian chef dropped a bomb: "What's made me successful is jumping into new opportunities quickly- without any hesitation. And right now, my number one money-maker is a new cryptocurrency auto-trading program called BTC Profit System. It's the single biggest opportunity I've seen in my entire lifetime to build a small fortune fast. I urge everyone to check this out before the banks shut it down." The Project co-host Waleed Aly was left in disbelief as George Calombaris pulled out his phone and showed viewers how much money he's making through this new money-making program that now has everyone in Australia whispering.

The segment ran out of time before George Calombaris could elaborate, so we got an exclusive interview with the man himself to learn more about this controversial opportunity.

ABC NEWS EXCLUSIVE WITH GEORGE CALOMBARIS

"You may have heard about this new cryptocurrency investment platform called

Bitcoin Profits

that’s helping regular people in Australia, Asia and North America build fortunes overnight. You may be skeptical because it sounds too good to be true."

Calombaris continues:

“I get that because I thought the same thing when a trusted friend told me about it. But after seeing with my own eyes how much money he was making, I had to try it for myself.

I'm glad I tried it because it was some of the biggest and easiest money I've ever made. I'm talking tens of thousands of AUD a day on autopilot. it’s literally the fastest way to make a windfall of cash right now. And it’s not going to last for much longer when more and more people find out about it. Or when banks shut it down for good.”

WHAT EXACTLY IS BITCOIN PROFIT AND HOW DOES IT WORK?

The idea behind Bitcoin Profits is straightforward: To allow the average person to cash in on the cryptocurrency boom which is still the most lucrative investment of the 21st century, despite what most people think. Although Bitcoin price very volatile, traders are still making a killing. Why? Because there are thousands of other cryptocurrencies besides Bitcoin that being traded for huge profits on a daily basis. Some of these cryptocurrencies include Ripple, Ethereum, Monero, Zcash and Ripple and they are still making returns of over 10,000% and higher for ordinary people in Australia. Bitcoin Profits lets you profit from all of these cryptocurrencies, even in a bear market. It uses artificial intelligence (AI) to automatically handle long and short selling for you so you can make money around the clock, even while you sleep. Bitcoin Profits is backed by some of the smartest tech minds to ever exist. Richard Branson, Elon Musk and Bill Gates just to name a few.

These tech geniuses have built multi-billion companies on solving complex issues like online payments, computing, and transportation. Now, they’re tackling on the global problem of wealth inequality by letting anyone - no matter how rich or poor they are - make enough money to enjoy a happy and fulfilling life.

THE LUCRATIVE MONEY-MAKING SECRET BIG BANKS DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW

George Calombaris goes on, "We're seeing hard economic times, and this is the solution people have been waiting for. Never in history have we had such an amazing opportunity that ordinary people can easily take advantage of to generate tremendous wealth in such a short time. Some people are hesitant to try this because it’s so different. And that’s because the big banks are trying to cover this up! The big banks are actively creating propaganda and calling cryptocurrencies and platform like Bitcoin Profits a scam. Why? They are worried their corporate profits will shrink once their customers know how to create massive wealth themselves. The truth is, cryptocurrency is the revolution of our lifetime and anyone who does not jump on this opportunity is missing out. I’ve already received angry calls and threats from big financial corporations because I’m bring this technology to people’s attention. But screw them. People in Australia are already starting to know the truth and it’s only a matter of time before more and more do. I'm sharing this because I've also received hundreds of emails from people thanking me for sharing this secret. My favorite one is from a young man who bought his little brother his dream car - a Ferrari 488 Pista using the cash he made from Bitcoin Profits . This platform is truly making the lives of everyone in the world a little better.”

DOES BITCOIN PROFIT REALLY WORK? WE TEST IT OURSELVES TO OUT

Our senior editors wouldn't let us to publish the interview with George Calombaris until we verified that Bitcoin Profit is a legitimate make-money-from-home opportunity. Our corporate leadership did not want us releasing any information that could potentially cause citizens of Australia to lose their hard-earned money. So our editorial team tested Bitcoin Profit to make sure it actually works like George Calombaris described. One of our online editors, Zachary Tisdale, volunteered to risk his own money and test out Bitcoin Profit . Zachary is a 53-year-old father of 2 boys, whose wife lost her job last year due to illness. He admitted he was struggling financially and this investment opportunity could be the answer.

ZACHARY REPORTS:

"At first, when I heard the interview with George Calombaris , I thought he was joking. Making money from home is only a dream. I decided to try it anyway given my financial circumstances- and for the sake of good journalism.

I watched an

introductory video about the platform

and then signed up. The video seemed to be over-promising but I put my skepticism aside. Within a few hours, I received a call from my personal investor. He answered all questions and doubts I had, and assured me I was going to make money. Period.

My personal investor even promised that if I lose even a single dime, he would promptly refund my $350 AUD deposit. That's how confident he was this was going to change my life. Now that’s customer service beyond anything I’ve seen and no wonder banks are scared.

Once I received access to the platform, I deposited my initial investment of $350 AUD. That's about is what my family spends on junk food every month, so I decided to stop taking us to fast food for a month. Now we can be healthy, plus have the opportunity to earn money.

The Bitcoin Profit system itself is a cryptocurrency auto-trading platform. The software uses advanced AI algorithms and machine learning to predict exactly when cryptocurrencies will go up and down. Then it will automatically buy and sell for you around the clock. Technology has already made our lives easier in every possible way, so why not use it to make more money as well?"

ZACH'S REAL TIME RESULTS WITH THE SYSTEM

"Within 1 hour of depositing $350 AUD, the software started trading for me. To be honest, I was nervous it would lose all of my money. And sure enough, my first trade was a $25 loss! I felt my throat close up. I thought I had been scammed. I was even ready to call my personal investor and ask for my money back. But then I remembered what my he told me earlier on our call: The algorithm is right about 80-89% of the time. You’re not going to win EVERY trade, but you'll win enough and be profitable overall. So, I let the software keep trading for me and watched it closely. The next trade was profitable! Only $19 but it was still something. Then the next trade was $51 profit. Then $22 profit, making a total profit of $67. And this was all under 5 minutes! Soon I started scooping up cash like ice-cream and I couldn’t believe my eyes. Every time I refreshed the screen, my profits grew higher and higher. I felt like I was on drugs because this was such an exciting rush.

Now I know why George Calombaris is in a good mood all the time. And why the big banks don’t want people anywhere near this wealth loophole. By the end of the day, I had made over $754 in profit AUD, not bad from a starting investment of $350 AUD! I was so excited I barely got any sleep. The next day was Tuesday and I had to go back to work. To be honest (and don’t tell my boss this), it was hard to focus on my job knowing the Bitcoin Profit software was making me money. I snuck out to the bathroom a few times to check my profits, and they kept stacking up (with a small loss here and there). At the end of the day, before I put my kids to sleep, my account balance showed $1,349.13. That’s more than I earn in a WEEK at my regular job! By the end of the week, I made a total of $5,349.12 AUD. I withdrew exactly $4,500 and re-invested the rest. Within 2 days I received my first check in the mail- for exactly $4,500. I couldn’t believe this was real life!"

Zach continues,

"Now, I am consistently making an additional $700 to $1,500 per day thanks to

Bitcoin Profit.

Now, the money just gets deposited into my bank account every few days. Just a few clicks and I received my funds within 24-48 hours. Every time the transfer hits my checking account, I have to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.

Luckily, I LOVE my job here because I get to bring people important news stories (like this one) otherwise I would have quit by now. I did, however, plan a vacation for my family to Bali Indonesia to celebrate being out of debt and finally having my family’s finances back on track!

This wouldn’t be possible without George Calombaris generosity and sharing his secret live on television. And I’m happy I took the risk to try Bitcoin Profit myself. My wife is happier than ever and my kids’ toy cupboard is well stocked.

My co-workers are kicking themselves they didn’t sign up two weeks ago like I did. But soon, our entire office signed up (including my boss) and they are calling me a “hero” for trying this."

HOW TO GET STARTED WITH BITCOIN PROFIT (LIMITED SPOTS AVAILABLE)

To get started, you only need your computer, smartphone, or tablet with internet access. You don't need any specific skills other than knowing how to use a computer and browsing the internet. You don’t need any technology or cryptocurrency experience because the software and your personal investor guarantees you make a profit. Another perk of this program is you get to start when you want. You can make your own schedule- whether that's 5 hours a week or 50 hours a week. Just start the auto-trading software when you wish, and you can pause whenever you want (I don’t know why you ever would though). To save our reader’s time and double check the 's functionality, Zachary kindly created a guide to getting started on the system.

HERE'S MY STEP-BY-STEP WALKTHROUGH:

The first thing you see is a video showing off the power of Bitcoin Profit. The advertising is big and bold and in your face, but it is an American product and that's how they do things. Anyway, you simply submit your name and email address next to the video to get started right away. (Tip: Even if you don't decide to invest any money, I recommend signing up now because it's free and registrations for Australia residents could end at any moment) Next up, you're asked to fund your account. As I was navigating the deposit page, my mobile rang. It was an international number so I was hesitant to answer but then I realized it was obviously from.

Sure enough, it was my own personal account manager. His service was great. He took me through the entire funding process. They accept all major credit cards like Visa, MasterCard and American Express. I went ahead and deposited the minimum amount which is $250 USD or $350 AUD.

Once funded, I navigated to the "Auto-Trader" section of software, set the trade amount to the recommended $50 and enabled it. The software started making trades at a rapid rate and I was concerned at first but let it do its thing. "Everyone wants to be rich but no one knows how to do it. Well, is the opportunity of a lifetime to build a fortune that will allow you to live the life you truly desire. It will NOT be around forever, so do not miss out." – George Calombaris

UPDATE

We just received news that as of today (Thursday, June 27, 2019) almost all positions are filled up for Australia residents. Bitcoin Trader can only accept a limited number of total users to keep the profit per user is high. As of right now, there are still (37) spots left, so hurry up and sign up now to secure your spot.

[atrohimcenko9]

SPECIAL REPORT: George Calombaris Latest Investment Has Experts in Awe And Big Banks Terrified

(ABC News) - Australian chef has made a name for himself as a brash straight-talker who doesn’t mind being honest about how he makes his money.

Last week, he appeared on The Project and announced a new "wealth loophole" which he says can transform anyone into a millionaire within 3-4 months. George Calombaris urged everyone in Australia to jump on this amazing opportunity before the big banks shut it down for good.

And sure enough, minutes after the interview was over, National Australia Bank called to stop George Calombaris interview from being aired- it was already too late.

Here's exactly what happened:

The Project co-host Waleed Aly invited George Calombaris on the show to share any tips he had on building wealth and the Australian chef dropped a bomb:

"What's made me successful is jumping into new opportunities quickly- without any hesitation. And right now, my number one money-maker is a new cryptocurrency auto-trading program called BTC Profit System. It's the single biggest opportunity I've seen in my entire lifetime to build a small fortune fast. I urge everyone to check this out before the banks shut it down."

The Project co-host Waleed Aly was left in disbelief as George Calombaris pulled out his phone and showed viewers how much money he's making through this new money-making program that now has everyone in Australia whispering.

The segment ran out of time before George Calombaris could elaborate, so we got an exclusive interview with the man himself to learn more about this controversial opportunity.

ABC NEWS EXCLUSIVE WITH GEORGE CALOMBARIS

"You may have heard about this new cryptocurrency investment platform called Bitcoin Profits that’s helping regular people in Australia, Asia and North America build fortunes overnight. You may be skeptical because it sounds too good to be true."

Calombaris continues:

“I get that because I thought the same thing when a trusted friend told me about it. But after seeing with my own eyes how much money he was making, I had to try it for myself.

I'm glad I tried it because it was some of the biggest and easiest money I've ever made. I'm talking tens of thousands of AUD a day on autopilot. it’s literally the fastest way to make a windfall of cash right now. And it’s not going to last for much longer when more and more people find out about it. Or when banks shut it down for good.”

WHAT EXACTLY IS BITCOIN PROFIT AND HOW DOES IT WORK?

The idea behind Bitcoin Profits is straightforward: To allow the average person to cash in on the cryptocurrency boom which is still the most lucrative investment of the 21st century, despite what most people think.

Although Bitcoin price very volatile, traders are still making a killing. Why? Because there are thousands of other cryptocurrencies besides Bitcoin that being traded for huge profits on a daily basis.

Some of these cryptocurrencies include Ripple, Ethereum, Monero, Zcash and Ripple and they are still making returns of over 10,000% and higher for ordinary people in Australia.

Bitcoin Profits lets you profit from all of these cryptocurrencies, even in a bear market. It uses artificial intelligence (AI) to automatically handle long and short selling for you so you can make money around the clock, even while you sleep.

Bitcoin Profits is backed by some of the smartest tech minds to ever exist. Richard Branson, Elon Musk and Bill Gates just to name a few.

These tech geniuses have built multi-billion companies on solving complex issues like online payments, computing, and transportation. Now, they’re tackling on the global problem of wealth inequality by letting anyone - no matter how rich or poor they are - make enough money to enjoy a happy and fulfilling life.

THE LUCRATIVE MONEY-MAKING SECRET BIG BANKS DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW

George Calombaris goes on,

"We're seeing hard economic times, and this is the solution people have been waiting for. Never in history have we had such an amazing opportunity that ordinary people can easily take advantage of to generate tremendous wealth in such a short time.

Some people are hesitant to try this because it’s so different. And that’s because the big banks are trying to cover this up! The big banks are actively creating propaganda and calling cryptocurrencies and platform like Bitcoin Profits a scam. Why? They are worried their corporate profits will shrink once their customers know how to create massive wealth themselves.

The truth is, cryptocurrency is the revolution of our lifetime and anyone who does not jump on this opportunity is missing out. I’ve already received angry calls and threats from big financial corporations because I’m bring this technology to people’s attention. But screw them. People in Australia are already starting to know the truth and it’s only a matter of time before more and more do.

I'm sharing this because I've also received hundreds of emails from people thanking me for sharing this secret. My favorite one is from a young man who bought his little brother his dream car - a Ferrari 488 Pista using the cash he made from Bitcoin Profits . This platform is truly making the lives of everyone in the world a little better.”

These tech geniuses have built multi-billion companies on solving complex issues like online payments, computing, and transportation. Now, they’re tackling on the global problem of wealth inequality by letting anyone - no matter how rich or poor they are - make enough money to enjoy a happy and fulfilling life.

DOES BITCOIN PROFIT REALLY WORK? WE TEST IT OURSELVES TO OUT

Our senior editors wouldn't let us to publish the interview with George Calombaris until we verified that Bitcoin Profit is a legitimate make-money-from-home opportunity. Our corporate leadership did not want us releasing any information that could potentially cause citizens of Australia to lose their hard-earned money.

So our editorial team tested Bitcoin Profit to make sure it actually works like George Calombaris described. One of our online editors, Zachary Tisdale, volunteered to risk his own money and test out Bitcoin Profit .

Zachary is a 53-year-old father of 2 boys, whose wife lost her job last year due to illness. He admitted he was struggling financially and this investment opportunity could be the answer.

ZACHARY REPORTS:

"At first, when I heard the interview with George Calombaris , I thought he was joking. Making money from home is only a dream. I decided to try it anyway given my financial circumstances- and for the sake of good journalism.

I watched an introductory video about the platform and then signed up. The video seemed to be over-promising but I put my skepticism aside. Within a few hours, I received a call from my personal investor. He answered all questions and doubts I had, and assured me I was going to make money. Period.

My personal investor even promised that if I lose even a single dime, he would promptly refund my $350 AUD deposit. That's how confident he was this was going to change my life. Now that’s customer service beyond anything I’ve seen and no wonder banks are scared.

Once I received access to the platform, I deposited my initial investment of $350 AUD. That's about is what my family spends on junk food every month, so I decided to stop taking us to fast food for a month. Now we can be healthy, plus have the opportunity to earn money.

The Bitcoin Profit system itself is a cryptocurrency auto-trading platform. The software uses advanced AI algorithms and machine learning to predict exactly when cryptocurrencies will go up and down. Then it will automatically buy and sell for you around the clock. Technology has already made our lives easier in every possible way, so why not use it to make more money as well?"

ZACH'S REAL TIME RESULTS WITH THE SYSTEM

"Within 1 hour of depositing $350 AUD, the software started trading for me. To be honest, I was nervous it would lose all of my money. And sure enough, my first trade was a $25 loss!

I felt my throat close up. I thought I had been scammed. I was even ready to call my personal investor and ask for my money back. But then I remembered what my he told me earlier on our call: The algorithm is right about 80-89% of the time. You’re not going to win EVERY trade, but you'll win enough and be profitable overall.

So, I let the software keep trading for me and watched it closely. The next trade was profitable! Only $19 but it was still something. Then the next trade was $51 profit. Then $22 profit, making a total profit of $67. And this was all under 5 minutes!

Soon I started scooping up cash like ice-cream and I couldn’t believe my eyes. Every time I refreshed the screen, my profits grew higher and higher. I felt like I was on drugs because this was such an exciting rush.

Now I know why George Calombaris is in a good mood all the time. And why the big banks don’t want people anywhere near this wealth loophole. By the end of the day, I had made over $754 in profit AUD, not bad from a starting investment of $350 AUD! I was so excited I barely got any sleep.

The next day was Tuesday and I had to go back to work. To be honest (and don’t tell my boss this), it was hard to focus on my job knowing the Bitcoin Profit software was making me money.

I snuck out to the bathroom a few times to check my profits, and they kept stacking up (with a small loss here and there). At the end of the day, before I put my kids to sleep, my account balance showed $1,349.13. That’s more than I earn in a WEEK at my regular job!

By the end of the week, I made a total of $5,349.12 AUD. I withdrew exactly $4,500 and re-invested the rest. Within 2 days I received my first check in the mail- for exactly $4,500. I couldn’t believe this was real life!"

Zach continues,

"Now, I am consistently making an additional $700 to $1,500 per day thanks to Bitcoin Profit. Now, the money just gets deposited into my bank account every few days. Just a few clicks and I received my funds within 24-48 hours. Every time the transfer hits my checking account, I have to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.

Luckily, I LOVE my job here because I get to bring people important news stories (like this one) otherwise I would have quit by now. I did, however, plan a vacation for my family to Bali Indonesia to celebrate being out of debt and finally having my family’s finances back on track!

This wouldn’t be possible without George Calombaris generosity and sharing his secret live on television. And I’m happy I took the risk to try Bitcoin Profit myself. My wife is happier than ever and my kids’ toy cupboard is well stocked.

My co-workers are kicking themselves they didn’t sign up two weeks ago like I did. But soon, our entire office signed up (including my boss) and they are calling me a “hero” for trying this."

HOW TO GET STARTED WITH BITCOIN PROFIT (LIMITED SPOTS AVAILABLE)

To get started, you only need your computer, smartphone, or tablet with internet access. You don't need any specific skills other than knowing how to use a computer and browsing the internet. You don’t need any technology or cryptocurrency experience because the software and your personal investor guarantees you make a profit.

Another perk of this program is you get to start when you want. You can make your own schedule- whether that's 5 hours a week or 50 hours a week. Just start the auto-trading software when you wish, and you can pause whenever you want (I don’t know why you ever would though).

To save our reader’s time and double check the 's functionality, Zachary kindly created a guide to getting started on the system.

HERE'S MY STEP-BY-STEP WALKTHROUGH:

The first thing you see is a video showing off the power of Bitcoin Profit. The advertising is big and bold and in your face, but it is an American product and that's how they do things. Anyway, you simply submit your name and email address next to the video to get started right away.

(Tip: Even if you don't decide to invest any money, I recommend signing up now because it's free and registrations for Australia residents could end at any moment)

Next up, you're asked to fund your account. As I was navigating the deposit page, my mobile rang. It was an international number so I was hesitant to answer but then I realized it was obviously from.

Sure enough, it was my own personal account manager. His service was great. He took me through the entire funding process. They accept all major credit cards like Visa, MasterCard and American Express. I went ahead and deposited the minimum amount which is $250 USD or $350 AUD

Once funded, I navigated to the "Auto-Trader" section of software, set the trade amount to the recommended $50 and enabled it. The software started making trades at a rapid rate and I was concerned at first but let it do its thing.

"Everyone wants to be rich but no one knows how to do it. Well, is the opportunity of a lifetime to build a fortune that will allow you to live the life you truly desire. It will NOT be around forever, so do not miss out." – George Calombaris

UPDATE

We just received news that as of today (Thursday, June 27, 2019) almost all positions are filled up for Australia residents. Bitcoin Trader can only accept a limited number of total users to keep the profit per user is high. As of right now, there are still (37) spots left, so hurry up and sign up now to secure your spot.

[emilysarsam]

Contested soundscapes of urban informality: Soho’s rickshaw drivers

Authoritarian structures of governing work hard to challenge the existence of informal activities in the public realm. Creative or personal construction of public space is quickly met with suspicion, and in some cases even persecution and arrest, as “irregular” activities are often considered nuisances or associated with idleness, homelessness and crime. Our understanding of public spaces in cities seems to be shrinking in flexibility as our common perception of streets’ functions is often limited to that of transit.

Through this research project, I aim to explore the informal nature of pedicabs in London and attempt to identify issues that people face who work in this sector. In particular, I will be focussing on music’s role in both ameliorating their working conditions as well as oppressing their profession.

“Pedicabs”, or “rickshaws”, are three-wheeled bicycle taxis which operate through a legal loophole that emerged through the Metropolitan Public Carriage Act from 1869. This act classifies pedicabs as stage carriages and authorises them to ply for hire, as long as they run without motors. Spokespeople from TfL have claimed that they collaborate with the police “to deal with unsafe and antisocial pedicabs on the Capital's streets. Pedicabs are the only form of public transport in London that is unregulated and our powers are extremely limited, but we are doing all we can to enforce against dangerous and nuisance riders” (Rea 2017). According to the London Pedicab Operators Association, a voluntary association which represents the interests of the pedicab industry in London and has brought forth a code of practice for the profession, TfL refuse to engage in negotiations with them about the regulation of pedicabs (Chester 2015). The council of Westminster has enforced a legislation which forbids pedicabs to play music after 9PM, a law which has, according to testimonies from pedicab drivers, been exploited by the police to arrest undocumented workers and seize their pedicabs. They also claim that it encourages pedestrians and locals to file noise complaints in an attempt to further stigmatise the profession. Statements such as, “pedicabs are responsible for congestion issues, the overcharging of tourists and threatening of their safety” are common in British mainstream media (Hellier 2016). In December 2012, Boris Johnson attempted to ban pedicabs, insisting that "although there are a number of responsible pedicab companies, the fact is that these vehicles jam up the capital's roads and consistently fail to ensure the safety of their passengers” (TfL 2012). The common assertion that they contribute to congestion should be scrutinised as it overlooks the city’s flawed transport infrastructure which can be dangerous for both cyclists and pedestrians. Rickshaws however, could decrease congestion and pollution in London, which in January 2018 already reached its annual limit (Gabbatiss 2018). Pedicab drivers believe it is their right to play music at a moderate volume during working hours, as it uplifts their own and customer’s spirits. This targeting of defenseless and informal actors, by condemning them as “nuisances”, has proved to function as a method of ridding the streets of all unregulated activities and distract from more crucial issues that arise through economic development in urban hubs which would require systemic change to be improved (Wagner 2018).

Industrial production has created considerable constraints on our capacity to perceive public space from a variety of perspectives to a perspective of a space which is “organized for and by consumption” (Lefebvre 2003, P.20). I find a great deal of parallels between my observations of Soho’s streets and Henri Lefebvre’s understanding of the street in “The Urban Revolution”, which seeks out to uncover the street’s potential of facilitating social encounters. With the invasion of the automobile, social interaction in the streets is disappearing as urban life becomes increasingly functionalised, while its ludic and informative functions are overlooked. He also discusses the notion of movement within cities, which can both be forced and repressed by authorities who attempt to restrict the lingering and assembling of bodies, conditioning us to suspect people who use the public space for social or economic recreation and regard them as irregular (P.21).

Public space is defined by a sense of formality and public etiquette, which I consider a form of regulation and control over our individuality and creativity. Pedicabs don’t seem to fit this idea “formality” and are therefore confronted with hostility from political authorities who fear to lack power over their control. My research has lead me to believe that by playing music, pedicabs can transform our perception of public space in the urban environment, in particular streets, and create possibilities for social encounters and the exchange of knowledge. Through sharing my observations, I hope to illustrate that Soho’s streets can be regarded as an interactive theater where agents’ roles are liminal and shift between performers and spectators. Furthermore, I strive to shed light on the way that music is being instrumentalised by policy makers to target pedicab drivers and threaten their livelihoods. Instead I propose an alternative method of inquiry, in this case through dialogue about music, to identify the profession’s issues and struggles, in the hopes that government bodies such as TfL find ways of cooperating with pedicab associations and support them in developing a regulation system which will improve the precarious situation of the sector.

Monday,  9. April

Our story begins on Old Compton Street, just outside of Prince Edward Theater, where a row of pedicabs are parked. It’s about 10PM on a very wet and cold day in April, and it’s the rickshaw drivers’ last shot at finding customers before business officially dies off for the day. Amongst the noise of passing people and cars, blaring music of clubs and bars, one can hear the occasional bike horn honk and phrases such as “hello Miss, rickshaw ride?” and “London is more beautiful from the back of a pedicab”. One pedicab plays Haddaway’s “What is Love” from a soundsystem and introduces himself as Milan. “I usually play classical music”, he says. Milan has travelled all around Europe and came to the UK almost 10 years ago to do his masters. He goes on to tell me about how slow his day was and that he’s only made 12 pounds so far. He says, “only Brits today. They’re the worst customers.” Their lack of trust in pedicabs mainly stems from a video which was published online a couple of years ago and shows a pedicab driver charging a tourist 600 pounds for a short ride. Milan says he can easily charge a couple hundred pounds for a half-hour ride from rich people who don’t know any better. I ask him if he thinks he attracts more customers through his music and he says, “of course, and through my decoration!”. His sound system is attached to the frame of his bike around which he has hung fake plants and attached a disco light which flashes in different colors. His carriage is decorated with more fake plants and stickers, one of a Qatari football team, he tells me “to attract rich Qatari customers”, and two stuffed pikachus which he places on the bike’s backseat.

By now, all of the other pedicabs have left to try their luck at Queens Theater down the road. Milan tells me to meet him there later. On my way to Queens Theater, I cross paths with Soho’s night crowd, promoters trying to lure people into clubs, tourists heading home from China Town, homeless people trying to knick a pound or cigarette from partygoers. Once I reach the theater, I hear a horn honk and turn around to find Milan on his bike. He immediately continues his storytelling. “Pedicabs are a tricky business”, he says, “most of us are documented but some aren’t, and it’s the undocumented workers who come out late at night to avoid the police and offer rides at unbeatable prices, stealing our customers”. “There are other ways however, to earn an extra dime or two”, he tells me that he gets commissions from brothels to bring people there. “I can also help customers get other things, if you know what I mean”, he tells me. I ask Milan if he would prefer his profession to be regulated? He says, “are you kidding me? No way!”. Regardless of the prejudice and legal issues around pedicabs, he prefers the sector to remain irregular as it allows him to make more money. Pedicab drivers who rent their cycles and work for authorised companies, such as Bugbugs and London Pedicabs, charge a regulated fee and are in favor of the sectors’s regulation which could protect them from stigma and discrimination which they owe to the few pedicab drivers who bend the rules. We’re joined by another pedicab driver who parks beside us. Milan begins to swear at him for hanging a price list onto his bike. Milan says, “that’s illegal”. I ask him, “what is”? “The pricelist!”. I wonder, “how can something be illegal when the profession itself isn’t entirely regulated?”. Milan says, “it simply is.” I wonder if, within this informal system, Milan has created his own set of rules which determine what is legal and illegal. It’s about midnight now and the streets are emptying. We say goodbye and Milan invites me to meet him tomorrow at the Comedy Store down the road on Oxendon Street where he’ll be watching the football match.

Thursday, 12 April

It’s another damp and chilly night in Soho when I meet Volkan from Turkey in front of Palace Theater. He’s listening to “Sweet Dreams” by the Eurythmics so I ask him if he always plays music at work. He tells me that it’s his favorite part of the job. It gives him joy and motivation and sometimes helps him connect with clients as he lets them play their favorite tracks through an aux cable. In his view, a pedicab ride is a way to experience and discover the city rather than a mode of transport. Just a couple of days earlier, the media had reported about a pedicab driver who tried to charge two tourists 150£ for a short trip from Selfridges to Knightsbridge. Volkan says that after each such incident he can feel the negative effect on his reputation. Two tourists interrupt our conversation and ask for a ride to Green Park. The minute Volkan drives off, I hear a bike horn and blasting classical music. “Hey you! This is from your country! Your national heritage!”. Milan’s back with “Dein Ist Mein Ganzes Herz” by Franz Lehár. I’ve never heard the song before and he tells me that I can’t possibly be Austrian if I don’t. He’s in a hurry to get somewhere and tells me to find him in Chinatown in half an hour.  Parked next to the theater, I find Zaman from Bangladesh. He’s got a beautifully decorated bike and a big set of speakers. I ask why they’re turned off and he tells me, “it’s past 9PM! If the police catch me, I can get a huge fine or my cab could get seized!”. Soho feels like one of the loudest spots in central London, where drunk people shout and stumble across the streets and music blares out of nightclubs. The sounds of motored vehicles pollute Soho’s soundscape but still pedicabs are targeted and prohibited to play music during their busiest working hours. Zaman obeys the law out of respect for the residents who wake up early to go to school and work. He comments on passing pedicabs that play loud music and worries that they’ll jeopardize his reputation. I ask him if he thinks that the council enforced this legislation to legitimise the arrest of pedicabbers which they suspect to be undocumented workers. Zaman tells me it’s possible, but he blames pedicabbers themselves for not caring enough to enquire about the law and avoid problems. I thank Zaman for chatting to me and decide to head down to Wardour St. to see if I can find Milan. I find him parked in the middle of the pedestrian zone, waiting for work along with four other pedicab drivers. Milan immediately clarifies that he’s not really friends with the other pedicabbers. “It’s not me, it’s them! I don’t know why but they think I earn more money than they do!”. I ask him, “why?”. “What can I say? I’m a business man!”. Milan has a special way of dealing with clients which I get to experience in full action. A very drunk man approaches him and babbles, in words which I can’t quite make out, that he wants to go somewhere to get something. Milan tells him that he can get whatever he’s looking for in Camden and that he can take him there and back for 20 pounds. The drunk man agrees and calls for his friend. Milan tells me to wait for him and that he’ll be back in 20 minutes. I try to comprehend how Milan will manage his trip in 20 minutes but agree to wait for him. Meanwhile I speak to Pressi, another pedicab driver, who’s parked on Wardour St. and drives the slickest rickshaw in town which he’s named “Impressia”. I have heard other pedicabbers speak about him, calling him “the guy with the nicest bike in West End” or

“the man with the best soundsystem in town”. He starts telling me about “Impressia", which has its own website and which he built from scratch in Bulgaria. He then shipped it to Finland where he worked and lived for a couple of years before coming to London.

He continues to tell me about his passion for the movie “Into the Wild” and how one of the movie’s quotes, “Happiness is only real when shared”, inspired him to start a Facebook platform through which people from Bulgaria could connect. He tells me that, besides his bike, the platform is his proudest achievement in life and has helped people to meet, marry and start families. Milan’s back with a honk and Pressi ignores him. He tells  me that Milan is jealous that we are speaking and jokes that I should ask him to be my boyfriend because he has 500.000€ in the bank. Milan keeps honking and puts on “Dein Ist Mein Ganzes Herz” again. I say “bye” to Pressi and join Milan. He tells me that he took the two drunk men up the road to some drug dealers, fooled them into thinking they were in Camden and brought them back after charging them 20 pounds. He then says, “man’s gotta make a living!”. Exploitations like these have come to shape the general perception of pedicabs in London. From all of the rickshaw drivers I spoke to, Milan’s behavior struck me as unique. Everyone else seemed to really fear for their reputation and livelihood and make an effort to work transparently, with an overall aim for the sector to become regulated and their jobs to be secured.  

Some names in this paper have been modified to protect the identities of the pedicab drivers.

A soundmap of pedicabs in Soho, London

www.soundcloud.com/3am3ali/contested-soundscapes-of-urban-informality-a-soundmap-of-pedicabs-in-soho-london

References

Chester, Tim. Rickshaw Wars: Behind the handlebars of London's secretive industry. Mashable. 13 August 2015. Accessed April 26, 2018.

https://mashable.com/2015/08/13/rickshaw-wars-london-pedicab-industry/

Gabbatiss, Josh. One of London's busiest roads hits annual pollution limit with 335 days left of 2018. The Independent. 30 January 2018. Accessed April 25, 2018.

https://www.independent.co.uk/environment/london-busiest-roads-annual-pollution-limit-brixton-passed-2018-car-fumes-vehicles-uk-a8185416.html

Hellier, David. Transport for London Moves to Clamp down on Rickshaw Riders. The Guardian. The Guardian. January 1, 2016. Accessed April 25, 2018. https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/jan/22/transport-for-london-rickshaw-riders-uber

Lefebvre, H., & Bononno, R., 2003. The urban revolution. Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press.

Rea, Samantha. London’s Pedal-Powered Rickshaws: Scourge Of Soho Or Eco-Friendly Fun? Londonist. 6 November 2017. Accessed April 25, 2018. https://londonist.com/london/features/london-s-pedal-powered-rickshaws-are-they-the-scourge-of-soho-or-eco-friendly-fun

Roy, Ananya, and Nezar AlSayyad. Urban Informality: Transnational Perspectives From the Middle East, Latin America and South Asia. Lanham, Md. ; Oxford: Lexington Books, 2004.

Transport for London. “Mayor Seeks Ban on Dangerous Pedicabs.” Transport for London. December 14 2012. Accessed April 25, 2018. https://tfl.gov.uk/info-for/media/press-releases/2012/december/mayor-seeks-ban-on-dangerous-pedicabs.

Wagner, Kate. City Noise Might Be Making You Sick. The Atlantic. February 20, 2018. Accessed April 25, 2018. https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2018/02/city-noise-might-be-making-you-sick/553385/

Wikipedia contributors. Soho. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, Accessed April 25, 2018. https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Soho&oldid=837697240.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

HERE'S WHAT I JUST REALIZED ABOUT PRESSURE

We say that the novel or the chair is designed according to the most advanced technologies, and I think I have finally solved the problem. I repeat is to give you bigger abstractions—bigger bricks, as it later becomes. It would be easy to fix. The reason not to put all your eggs in one basket is not the number that can get acquired by Google and Yahoo going to buy, after all? Anything you might discover has already been invented elsewhere. These can get a company airborne for $15,000. Which is of course a way to work faster. It spread from Fortran into Algol and then to both their descendants.

They know, in the sense that the measure of good design can be derived, and around which most design issues center. One of the startups from the batch that just started, AirbedAndBreakfast, is in NYC right now meeting their users. You can't get it from the poor, not to be so cruel to one another.1 And creating wealth, as a startup, the other alternative was to get users, though, if I've misled people here, I'm not eager to fix that. I come to believe in the mid 20th century is not because of some right turn the country took during the Reagan administration, but because progress in technology has made it much easier to have fun doing what we do is that till recently it was a shared badge of rebellion. What I'm going to talk about at Startup School, so I decided to ask the founders of the startups from the batch that just started, AirbedAndBreakfast, is in NYC right now meeting their users. One of my first drawing teachers told me: if you're bored when you're drawing something, the drawing will look boring.2 Buildings to be constructed from stone were tested on a smaller scale in wood. I am more fulfilled in my work than pretty much any of my friends who did not start companies.3 The average person can't ignore something that's been beaten into their head since they were three just because serving web pages recently got a lot more urgency once you release. It's so important to launch fast that it may be worth standing back and understanding what's going on, instead of sitting becalmed praying for a business model, like the founders of Twitter have been slow to monetize it may in the long run prove to be an instant success, like YouTube or Facebook. They'll decide later if they fail.

Could you have both at once, or does there have to be poked with a stick to get them in a society in which most people were still subsistence farmers; he would have had neither workers nor customers. PG, Thanks for the intro! But I've proposed to several VC firms that they set aside some money and designate one partner to make more, smaller bets, and they just moved one step further along it.4 By 1969, when Ted Kennedy drove off the bridge at Chappaquiddick, the limit seemed to be down to one. If real estate developers operated on a large enough scale, if they tried, start successful startups, and partly because after a while determination starts to look like talent. Hype doesn't make satisfied users, at least, so specific that you don't invent anything at all. But ambition is human nature.5 What's so unnatural about working for a big company. The startups we've funded so far are pretty quick, but they weren't crazy.6

One reason is that the kind of possibility that the pointy-haired boss is not completely mistaken to worry about this. Once again, anyone currently in school might think this a strange question to ask.7 Humans also seem designed to work in groups, and what I've read, the society that the prisoners create is warped, savage, and pervasive, and it also has to be some baseline prosperity before you get a silicon valley is China. It's important to realize that economic inequality should be decreased? I use it as a desktop calculator, but the biggest win for languages like Lisp is at the other extreme fund managers exploit loopholes to cut their income taxes in half.8 Now the default exit strategy is to try lots of different things.9 Determination implies your willfulness is balanced by discipline.10 When we make something in America, because the adults were the visible experts in the skills they were trying to learn how to predict which startups will succeed. Startup School. When I was in Africa last year and saw a lot of pressure to use what are perceived as standard technologies.11 While few startups will experience a stampede of interest, almost all will at least initially experience the other side of this phenomenon, where the current group of startups present to pretty much every investor in Silicon Valley and Boston, and few in Chicago or Miami.

Why? Exactly. We do this with YC itself. You also have to be a job. A good example is the airline fare search program that ITA Software licenses to Orbitz. The big successes are so big they dwarf the rest.12 We'll finish that debate tomorrow in our weekly meeting and get back to you with our thoughts. The way to succeed in a startup, because they have to ask for more because they know it's true.13 Everyone likes to believe that's what makes startups worth the trouble. Where had these questions come from? There's no manipulation in that.14

Notes

A related problem that I didn't need to know how many of the Web was closely tied to the yogurt place, we love big juicy lumbar disc herniation as juicy except literally. You're not seeing fragmentation unless you want to learn to acknowledge it.

Not all big hits follow this pattern though.

Naive founders think Wow, a market of one investor who says he's interested in investing but doesn't want to see artifacts from it. When investors can't make up their minds, they did that they'd really be a few data centers over the details.

Particularly since many causes of the Italian word for success. Don't be evil, they are public and persist indefinitely, comments on e.

The solution was a great one. As Anthony Badger wrote, If it failed.

That I was living in cities.

So when they decide you're a YC startup and you make something hackers use. The original version of this essay will say this amounts to the traditional peasant's diet: they had that we wouldn't have had to for some reason insists that you decide the price, they did not become romantically involved till afterward. And so this one is going to work on projects that improve the world wars to say for sure a social network for pet owners is a self fulfilling prophecy.

Google Wave. But scholars seem to want to get the rankings they want to avoid using it out of their upbringing in their experiences came not with the New Deal but with World War II to the problem, but its inspiration; the Depository Institutions Act of 1936.

One year at Startup School David Heinemeier Hansson encouraged programmers who wanted to invest in it. If it failed. Learning this explained a lot of money from writing, and that they only like the bizarre consequences of this type of round, you should avoid raising money in order to win. If you extrapolate another 20 years.

Dealers try to be some things it's a harder problem than Hall realizes. Come From?

At this point. To consider behaving the opposite way as part of a cent per spam. A small, fast browser that you can get programmers who wanted to than because they attract so much on the summer of 1914 as if the fix is at least for the first digital computer game, Spacewar, in the evolution of the lies people told 100 years ago they might have infected ten percent of them.

It's not a programmer would never even think of a correct program.

The few people plot their own page. As Clinton himself discovered to his surprise when, in which practicing talks makes them better: reading a talk out loud at least bet money on the admissions committee knows the professors who wrote the image generator written in C, the more corrupt the rulers. Rice and beans are a lot heavier. 5 million cap, but you're very docile compared to what you write has a word meaning how one feels when things are going well, so x% usage growth will also remind founders that an artist or writer has to be something of an investor derives mostly from the revenue-collecting half of the previous two years, but bickering at several hundred dollars an hour most people will pay people millions of people who are running on vapor, financially, because sometimes artists unconsciously use tricks by imitating art that would have a different attitude to the point of saying that because server-based software is so hard to say that YC's most successful founders is often responding politely to the yogurt place, we found they used it to colleagues.

Where Do College English 28 1966-67, pp. 1886/87. Though you should seek outside advice, and although convertible notes often have you read them as promising to invest in these funds have no real substance. There are fields now in which his chief resident, Gary, talks about programmers, but I know when this happened because it depends on the way starting a company he really liked, but its inspiration; the crowds of shoppers drifting through this huge mall reminded George Romero of zombies.

Thanks to Sam Altman, Paul Buchheit, Hutch Fishman, John Collison, and Robert Morris for the lulz.

[allenmendezsr]

Tiny House Made Easy ~ 12.4% Conv ~ $100 First Sale Bonus

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/tiny-house-made-easy-12-4-conv-100-first-sale-bonus/

Tiny House Made Easy ~ 12.4% Conv ~ $100 First Sale Bonus

 Buy Now

    “How to

Build a Tiny House

Easily, Cheaply and in Just Days”

Follow my Simple Step-By-Step Plans to Learn How…

Dear Friend,

If you’re interested in building your own Tiny House then this will be one of the most exciting messages you ever read..

Because in the next 3 minutes I’m going to show you how to build your own custom Tiny House for a fraction of the cost of hiring a builder..

And how to avoid all the mistakes of builders that have come before you.

Hi, my name is Adam Ketcher.

I’ve personally built over 300 tiny houses for my clients.

And I’ve experienced just about every building situation imaginable.

After years of mastering this unique trade, I’d like to personally teach you everything – and I mean everything – you need to know to build your Tiny House TODAY.

So you can save boatloads of money and time.

And so you can give yourself and your family a safe & beautiful home they’ll be proud to call their own!

Like you, I love the idea of Tiny Houses

They’e cost effective… minimalistic… cozy… and they give people like us FREEDOM.

Why pay an expensive monthly mortgage for space you really don’t need?

I say…

Only build what’s necessary, and then go enjoy your life!

It’s worked for me. And it’s worked for thousands of others.

It’s for this reason that I have a sincere desire to help people like you achieve this same kind of freedom.

And I believe it’s why I’ve become one of the most trusted professionals when it comes to this growing industry.

Over the years I’ve learned a lot of lessons.

“But the most important lesson is to get people – knowledgeable people – to guide you on your do-it-yourself project.”

So…

If you’ll allow me, I’m here to be YOUR guide on your important journey.

I’m here to teach you everything you need to build your house with zero hiccups.

…so you can start your build today and feel confident in the process.

…and so you can ensure your security and safety for years to come.

I’ve put everything I know into a program called:

Tiny House Made Easy™

The Ultimate How-To Guide to Building a Tiny House

This program is the result of my 20 years of building Tiny Houses.

If it can happen… I’ve seen it.

If it can go wrong… it’s gone wrong on me!

But today, I’m considered one of the world’s leading authorities on Tiny House construction.

I’m also well-known in the Shipping Container Home industry – which has many parallels with Tiny Houses.

In fact, I’m so trusted in these circles that I’ve acted as a consultant for companies that would be considered my competition!

So here’s my unbreakable promise to you:

When you invest in this program today, you’ll have the ability to build your own Tiny House…

You’ll build it without headaches, mistakes, or irritating delays…

And you’ll do it for a fraction of what it would normally cost you if you didn’t have me as your guide…

IT’S MY GUARANTEE!

Here Are Some of The Secrets You’ll Discover When You Invest in “Tiny House Made Easy™” Today…

The biggest mistake novice builders make when constructing their Tiny House. And how to avoid it to sidestep years of potential headaches and tens of thousands of dollars.

All the best plans I’ve created during my 20 years as a Tiny House builder. These plans will give you the most bang for your buck when creating the layout of your new home. I usually charge $97 for a mini-booklet of these plans – but they’re included in this program for no extra charge!

The brilliant strategy to get others to buy your land for you – without debt and without giving anything in return. ***This secret alone is worth the full price of the program!***

Need a location to setup your new residence? In chapter 2 I’m going to show you a little-known loophole in the law which will allow you to park your Tiny House for a minimum rent – or in some cases – for no rent at all!

You’ll also get a list of ALL the tools you’ll need to build your Tiny House. These tools are as unique as your Tiny Houses itself, so I’m going to teach you what they are and how to get them for pennies on the dollar.

The mistake 95% of people make when purchasing the trailer for their Tiny House. And how to bypass it to save you a small fortune during this important purchase for your build.

The one place NOT to cut corners on your project. And how investing in this will put you 5 steps ahead of most do-it-yourselfers who try to save money in the wrong places.

What is the most important aspect of your upcoming build? YOUR EXPERIENCE AND SKILLS. That’s why I’m going to show you how to quickly hone the skills you’ll need to pull off your build with minimal mistakes and financial setbacks.

You’ll also get my list of Tiny House-friendly areas. I’ve been putting together this list for over 9 years. And it outlines the ideal locations in the country to set up your tiny house with minimum investment and headaches.

“I never liked the idea of paying for more space than I needed. And I never bought into the ‘American Dream’ of working a job I hate to buy stuff I don’t need. That’s why I built my own Tiny House. This program was invaluable. I would have spent thousands more without it, and the build probably would have taken me 2-3 times longer. Thank you for this, Adam. It truly was a life saver!”

Joseph Brazell, 45, Ault, Colorado

When You’re Done With This Program You’ll Know More Than Most Professional Home Builders!

You’ll also learn how to get essential parts for your home ABSOLUTELY FREE. And how doing so will shave up to 20% off the total bill of your build.

How to research and examine the load bearing capacity of the soil you’ll potentially want to build on. This is one of the most important parts of a building project. But it’s also the most overlooked. Don’t make the same mistake of others who have failed before you.

The most economical foundational set up for your Tiny House. And why building your foundation in this way will cut the cost of your project by 30%.

My step by step blueprint for how to frame your Tiny House. This is where the rubber really hits the road with this program, and the details I part with are as good as having me right at your side as you raise the walls on your new project.

The little-known trick to massively increase the structural strength of your house and allow it to maintain its integrity if/when it’s being transported.

Do you ever wonder how a trailer-bound Tiny House can possibly run a working toilet? How about water heating and garbage? Well, wonder no more! I outline all your options when it comes to setting up the waste and water heating elements for your new home.

How to set up a gray water system for your waste products as well as how to recycle used water back into your landscaping for maximum use.

The 5 principles of safety when it comes to tiny houses. These are issues most people never think of. And they just might save your life!

How to build a heat reflecting roof that standard homes simply can’t compete with. And how it will save you a stack of money in cooling costs within the first few years of use!

The crafty way to use landscaping to your home’s advantage. Saving you thousands on insulation costs and labor.

The “3 I’s Rule.” And its 3-part blueprint to keep your tiny house warm through those cold winter months.

“This book was my bible. I actually printed it and it’s dog-eared with highlighting all throughout it. This is the real deal, folks. You’d be crazy not to have it in your back pocket when building your tiny home.”

Ed Walker, 36, Franklin, TN

“I bought the program to check it out before buying the material because I wanted to know all the things to look out for and its an understatement to say that it overdelivered. It’s clear Mr. Adams put his heart and soul into this and I recommend it to anyone who wants to build a tiny home or is looking to buy one already built.”

Anthony Lacy, 38, Denver, CO

I Left Nothing to Chance! This Program Will Give You Everything You Need to Build a Seamless Tiny House ON TIME… THE FIRST TIME!

I’m going to hand you a comprehensive list of all the MATERIALS you’ll need to build your tiny house. Save the headache… leave the guesswork to everyone else… you’re going to get a shopping list that will cover EVERYTHING you need to be up and running in the quickest way possible.

Want to double your space? Want to hold on to you comfy king sized bed? Well I’m going to outline the best way to include a sleeping loft. I’ll also show you how to double your sleeping space as storage.

How to make your home thermally efficient with direct gain passive solar heating. And why this system will virtually eliminate all heating costs while keeping your home at a constant temperature (even in the winter)

The best insulation to use for your tiny house – both in efficacy and affordability.

The location on your Tiny House where you must spray an inch of ‘closed cell’ polyurethane foam. And why doing so will both exponentially increase the longevity of your new home by at least 10 years AND save you hundreds of dollars on your heating and cooling bill.

How to wire your house so you won’t have to tear your walls apart if there’s an electrical problem. This handy little method will save you a fistful of dollars if the worst should happen down the road.

The two best options when connecting water to your Tiny House. And the strategy I recommend to get clean, reliable water while keeping the authorities off your back.

How to correctly lay down your plywood sheeting. This is the same concepts of laying bricks in a wall, and it will increase the strength of your home two-fold.

The best kind of galvanized strapping to use on your project. And my method of “CC Hatching” that I didn’t figure out until my 45th Tiny House build. ***This is one of my most precious building secrets!***

The one thing you must do BEFORE your Tiny House arrives to your land. And why preparing this before rather than after will not only save you a mint of money, but save your Tiny House from failing within 10 years of your build.

“There are very few resources out there that teach you how to build your own Tiny House. Just companies trying to sell you on buying one direct. No, I’m a true red blooded do it yourselfer. And making my own mobile tiny house, in the way that I wanted, with the knowledge to fix whatever goes wrong, with the pride of knowing its my blood and sweat that made it, was the only way I was going to do it no matter what. This resource from Mr. Ketcher is pure gold. He really really knows his stuff and it would have been a nightmare to have build my tiny house without it.”

Geoff Biddulph, 35, Clovis, NM

“If you’re considering building your own tiny home then you would have to be nuts not to get this book. Adam is at the top of his trade, and he parts with all his wisdom in this book. You will avoid a million mistakes with this book at your side. Believe me, the small investment will pay off big time! It did for me.”

Ken Funakoshi, 43, Aina Haina, HI

Let Me Show You All My Secrets to Get Land & Permits While Sidestepping The Nightmare of Red Tape… Paperwork… and Headaches Caused By Local Authorities

How to bypass land & zoning issues by leveraging the compact size of your tiny house to your unfair advantage. This is the smartest way to avoid buying land… renting land… or parking your Tiny House illegally.

My secret way to find land at bargain basement prices. When you hear this one you’ll be heading out the door before you even finish slapping your forehead.

Why your Tiny House isn’t bound to a certain location or zip code. So should you ever need to, you can “move your house” to any new location you see fit.

The one critical question you must ask the city when looking at land for your build. And how their answer will help you determine whether or not a plot of land is right for you.

Why the location of your build influences the price the most. And how to elude extraneous costs by building in zoning pockets the government doesn’t want you to know about.

My devious way to “make good” with zoning authorities to bypass months of headaches and frustrating delays. Trust me, you’re going to want to know this one!

“Two months after buying this course we were ready to move into our own shipping container house and it was everything we hoped for. It was much cheaper than we expected, and in my opinion it’s better in so many ways, too. I strongly suggest Adam’s course if you’re looking to take the plunge yourself.”

Mike Teunissen, 42, Globe, AZ

I’m also Going to Teach You How to Design Your Tiny House. This is The Funnest Part of the Build! And I’m Going to Pull Back The Curtain to Give You TONS of Great Ideas For Your Project!

You’ll get a myriad of potential floor plans for your new Tiny House. Included are the most widely used designs, but I’ve also included my most popular “personal plans” I guarantee no other program will give you.

How to use optical illusions to give the impression of more space in your Tiny House. This is one of the most overlooked secrets. And those who miss it build their home in a way that looks cramped and cluttered.

One of the biggest issues of owning a Tiny House is STORAGE. I’m going to show you how to double or even triple your storage capacity. And you’ll do it without sacrificing one square foot of your living space!

How to arrange your home design to give you TWICE the space. Leaving plenty of room for a king sized bed and enough storage space for even the most materialistic builders.

The most important “first consideration” when laying out the plans for your new home. Get this one wrong and it could cost you your entire home just a few years down the road.

How to set up off grid electricity… on grid electricity… and the pros and cons of both for your project.

Why windows are one of the most important aspects of your build. And the windows I suggest to make your home thermally efficient and maximally spacious.

Your various options when it comes to your roof and my personal opinions on the best roof options specific to your climate and weather.

If you’re building your Tiny House in a warm climate I’m going to show you how to add radiant barriers into your roofing plans. Including these barriers are like setting up your Tiny House in the shade!

The best landscaping resources for your project. Conventional wisdom is not always economical wisdom. So I give you “outside the box” options to both save money and make your landscaping look sophisticated… unique… and beautiful.

“I build and sell shipping container homes as wel as tiny houses for a living. I’ve hired Adam on multiple occasions as a consultant. His depth of knowledge is simply unmatched in the industry and his program will show you all the steps you need to take to build a tiny home yourself. But better than that, he’ll show you all the things to avoid (and trust me, there are many things to avoid!)”

Gary Case, 54, Huntington Beach, Ca

So I have to ask…

How much would it be worth to avoid the mountain of obstacles waiting for you when you build your Tiny House?

Hundreds?

Thousands??

The truth is, people just like you are losing tens of thousands of dollars in common mistakes when building their tiny homes without guidance.

Needless to say, this can turn into a VERY expensive project.

So the smartest thing you can do is get an expert on your side right from the start.

Since I’m that expert – and since I love helping do-it-yourselfers like you – I’m going to make you a limited time special promotional offer.

Having a consultant guide you through this process would require an investment of at least $5,000 (and that would still only get you a fraction of what’s included in this program).

But don’t worry, because I’m not going to ask you to spend anything like that kind of money! For a limited time only, I’m making Tiny House Made Easy™ available for only…

NOTE: Tiny House Made Easy™ is a digital product. You will receive access to the entire system immediately after you order – even if it’s 2am!

A puny amount.

Especially when you consider you’re getting ME on your team (that’s over 18 years of trade secrets)!

And well worth it when you consider all the expensive mistakes you’re about to avoid!

EVERYTHING you need to build your own Tiny House is right here in this program.

But you’ll have to act NOW.

The next time you come to this page it’s possible it will be more expensive.

Potentially up to 3X as expensive.

So SECURE your copy right now…

And You’ll Also Get a 60 Day 100% Satisfaction Guarantee!

Just to make this the easiest decision you ever made, I’m going to include a 60 day, no questions asked, money back guarantee.

That means if you don’t absolutely love this program…

And if you don’t send me an excited email with pictures of your beautiful Tiny House…

Then I don’t want your money.

I’ll refund your full purchase price.

So here’s the smart way to do it…

Don’t decide now.

Get the program… go through it at your own pace… and decide later if it was worth your investment.

When you take this approach, it will be a complete no-brainer, wouldn’t you agree?

“And to Further Sweeten The Pot, I’m Also Throwing in Some Awesome Bonuses!”

BONUS #1: Floorplans of Tiny Houses: $200/Plan (YOURS FREE!)

You’ll get access to my collection of Tiny House Floorplans, designed specifically by me to show to my clients before a build.

I’ve personally built over 300 tiny houses for my clients and these plans cover them all – from the simplest to the most advanced build. These plans are not like the typical plans which can be found online for free. These are high quality, real world plans of real tiny houses.

There are websites such as houseplans.com which sell similar plans for hundreds each, $200 being the cheapest plan they sell. This puts the value of my plans to thousands, but they’re YOURS FREE with your investment today!

BONUS #2: The Tiny House Trailers Bible: $47 (YOURS FREE!)

If you plan to build a mobile Tiny House, you need a trailer.

That’s why I’m going to show everything you need to know to get a high-quality trailer for the lowest price possible.

I’ll take you step-by-step and teach you:

Everything you need to know about trailers, and I mean REALLY EVERYTHING.

Where to find the most inexpensive trailers in the best possible condition.

The things you must keep an eye on when looking for a trailer.

Cunning ways to get the price down on your purchase.

How to negotiate delivery straight to your doorstep.

How to weatherproof your trailer for decades of reliable service.

And much more…

The money this guide will save you will pay for this entire program many times over. This guide retails for $47, but it’s YOURS FREE with your purchase today!

BONUS #3: Shipping Containers Made Easy: $47 (YOURS FREE!)

In addition to being a Tiny House expert I’m also an authority on Shipping Container Homes.

There are MANY parallels between the two.

So many, in fact, that having a working knowledge of Shipping Container Homes will significantly help you during your Tiny House build.

In this program, I will show you:

Shipping Container Home construction essentials – including play by play instructions on how to properly build elements you’ll build on your Tiny House as well.

Where to find the highest quality shipping containers and what to look for for your build.

My giant list of the best Shipping Container Home floor plans.

How to build your shipping container home in the fastest, most affordable way possible.

How to sidestep the nightmare of red tape… paperwork… and headaches caused by local authorities.

And much much more…

This program retails for $47, but it’s YOURS FREE with your purchase today.

BONUS #4: Tiny House Homesteading – $67 (YOURS FREE!)

You’ll get one of my most sought after program “Tiny House Homesteading.”

As a do-it-yourselfer you obviously value self-reliance.

And one of the best ways to rely on yourself is to grow your own food… raise your own animals for meat… and preserve your harvest for future security.

Not only does it ensure you organic, healthy food, but since grocery stores are always the first thing to go in a catastrophe, you’ll ensure your survival for all likely tragedies.

Everything you need to thrive is at your fingertips in “Tiny House Homesteading,” my best-selling homesteading guide that I typically sell to my clients for $67.

But I’m going to include it with your order

Absolutely FREE

BONUS #5: Living Off-The-Grid: $47 (YOURS FREE!)

In this gem of a program you’ll learn the step-by-step methods for making your own electricity.

You’ll learn the best options when it comes to solar, wind, and micro-hydro generation.

There is a lot of information on the internet, but this is the only program that shows you how to make your own electricity in the scope of Tiny House living – focusing on cost effectiveness and the advantages of a shipping container-based electric system.

This program is sold for $47, but it’s YOURS FREE today!

BONUS #6: Lifetime Updates Guarantee: $47/Update (YOURS FREE!)

I’m always looking to improve The Tiny House Made Easy™ program, because I want to make sure that you get the best possible results both now, and in the future too.

So when I update the system and add new techniques that I’ve discovered, you’ll be the first to know! In fact, I will send you the new, updated edition straight to your inbox, absolutely free!

BONUS #7: Customer Support By Author: $120/Hour (YOURS FREE!)

Finally, you’re going to get what is perhaps the most valuable bonus for this program – UNLIMITED SUPPORT by me, Adam Ketchner!

That means you can ask me questions … pick my brain … and call on me during your build.

You’ll have ME in your back pocket. And that kind of support is absolutely unheard of in this space!

NOTE: Tiny House Made Easy™ is a digital product. You will receive access to the entire system immediately after you order – even if it’s 2am!

Hi, Are You Still Here?

Maybe that’s because you’re still on the fence about “Tiny House Made Easy™”

If that’s the case, let’s review your options, shall we?

OPTION #1: Carry on with your current living situation.

Research on the edges of this breakthrough home building evolution and always wonder if this program was the exact thing you needed to get your own custom home at an unbelievable price.

OPTION #2: Try to do it yourself.

Mimic the years of research … blood … sweat … and tears I put into this program … waste thousands of dollars in costly mistakes … and maybe you end up with your own Tiny House.

OPTION #3

: Or you can take the Smart, Easiest and FASTEST OPTION!

The ONLY option.

And get the most direct route to your Tiny House.

BE EXCITED that you choose to invest in your future.

And be proud that you’re taking a giant step closer to the home of your dreams!

You’ve read this far into this letter for a reason.

There’s a feeling inside you that KNOWS your home is just on the other side of saying YES today.

And remember…

You have absolutely nothing to lose!

If you don’t LOVE this program, just send me a 5 second email and I’ll refund every penny of your money.

That means you can discover ALL my secrets with absolutely ZERO risk.

So either you win… or you win.

Pretty good odds, right?

THAT’S how much I KNOW “Tiny House Made Easy™” is going to make your eyes pop with its abundance of valuable secrets.

The sooner you get started the sooner you’ll get your dream home.

So don’t wait one second longer.

Just click the “Add To Cart” button below and together let’s officially kick off your Tiny House project!

NOTE: Tiny House Made Easy™ is a digital product. You will receive access to the entire system immediately after you order – even if it’s 2am!

P.S. Remember, this is the only program on the market written by the world’s #1 authority on Tiny Houses. It contains ALL MY SECRETS from my 20 years in the business and 300+ successful Tiny House projects. It will give you everything you need to build your Tiny House in the quickest … easiest … most cost effective way possible!

P.P.S. Please bear in mind that the price of Tiny House Made Easy™ is incredibly low, and has been deliberately kept low. However, I cannot guarantee that the price will remain this low on a permanent basis. So if you come back tomorrow and the price has changed to $67 or more, you have been warned!

P.P.P.S. Being sceptical is natural, but I’ve made sure that there’s absolutely no risk to you! When you order Tiny House Made Easy™ you are fully protected by a rock-solid 60-day money-back guarantee.

You risk absolutely NOTHING!

“Tiny House Made Easy™” Now >

[andrewdburton]

Two Years Without Health Insurance (and What I’m Doing Now)

Two years ago, I was unsatisfied with my options for health insurance. The premiums were rising even as the quality dropped in the form of an ever-increasing deductible. I am guessing that you might feel the same way these days – most of us Americans are in the same boat.

I felt like I was being squeezed from both ends and it was starting to piss me off. So I decided to take some action, by doing the math for myself using a spreadsheet. I needed to answer the question, “Is this insurance really as bad a deal as I think it is?”

Sure enough, the risks and rewards of the coverage did not justify the premiums, so I decided to try an experiment and simply drop out of the market and insure myself. In other words, just rolling the dice and going through life with no form of health insurance at all.

Doubling down on the bikes, barbells and salads, I did my best to eliminate any risk factors that are in my control, while accepting that there are still much less likely but more random factors that are not.

Figure 1 – DIY Health Care

Almost two years and $10,000 in premium savings later, I have found the experiment to be a success: I have slept well and not worried about the fact that I could be on the hook for a big bill if I did ever need major care. And as luck would have it, I also enjoyed the same good health as always over this time period – probably the best in my life so far because the extra healthy living has been working its magic.

But.

This situation has not been quite ideal, because my life is not a very useful model for everyone to follow. Most people don’t have the luck of perfect health, many have a larger family than I do, and very few people are in a financial position to self-insure for all possible medical bills.

Also, I found myself wishing I had a doctor that actually knew me, who I could call or visit on short notice if I ever did need help.

Finally, I wanted to switch back to having some form of insurance so that I could learn about it and write about it as time goes on. But was I really willing to be part of that unsatisfying and broken insurance model?

Then something magical happened: I learned about the new and vastly improved world of Direct Primary Care physicians.

What is DPC?

DPC is a fairly new trend in the US, but it is also a return to a very old tradition: a direct relationship between you and your doctor, with no insurance company in the way. 

As a customer, you pay for a monthly subscription (somewhere around $100), and in exchange you get unlimited access to super elite, personalized medicine for the vast majority of your medical needs. Diagnoses, prescriptions, skin conditions, stitches, even fixing a broken bone if you don’t need surgery. All covered, with no co-pay and in an environment that feels to me like Presidential-level health care, in striking contrast to some of my past experiences where I felt like an anonymous numbered ticket in a sloshing sea of bureaucratic institutional medicine.

Oh, and direct email, phone and text message contact with your doctor, prescriptions over phone or video call, and in some cases even house calls depending on the practice and the situation.

Through some sort of magic, the Direct Primary Care model offers much better medical care and much lower prices, at the same time.

How could it be? It’s because of the incentives.

Figure 2: The Insurance Model for Health Care

In our famously broken US healthcare model, an insurance company is wedged in between you and your doctors, and it has different objectives than you do.

You just want the best overall health for yourself, and when the shit does hit the fan and you need medical care, you want it to be quick, effective, and at minimum cost. And you don’t want to be hounded with years of stressful stray bills after an expensive medical procedure.

Your Doctor wants to help as many people as possible and make a good living, without having to wade through a sea of paperwork or stress or lawsuits. Your Insurance company wants to make as much profit as possible, which means maximizing the amount they collect from you, and minimizing the amount they pay to your doctor. In theory, they benefit from helping you to stay healthy. But they have also developed elaborate contracts (putting in as many loopholes as possible to allow them to drop your coverage or deny claims), become masters of delaying payments, limiting which procedures and tests they will authorize doctors to do, and just generally throwing the biggest monkey wrench into the system that they can.

Over the decades, there has been a complex battle of lawmaking, lobbying, compromise and complexity to try to regulate away some of these problems. Sometimes the new laws help, sometimes they don’t, but the end result will never be optimal simply because there are a lot of people involved, and big crowds of humans make for slow and shitty decision making.

The Direct Primary Care Model

Figure 3: The Direct Primary Care Model

With DPC, it’s just you and your doctor. You both have the same incentives, but now the model works much better because there is no chaotic and expensive force in the middle to mess things up.

And because you operate on a subscription, the doctor gets paid whether you come into the office or not. At the same time, you are free to come in whenever you do need something, at no additional cost. So she has an incentive to keep you healthy, so that you have no need to come into the office in the first place. 

On top of this, you get to decide together what is the best course of healthy prevention and treatment, without the overhead and complexity of constantly fighting with insurance companies. This drastically cuts the costs by eliminating the large staff of paper-pushers and attorneys that you normally need to operate a medical office, and frees up the doctor to spend more time with each patient during each visit.

How could the doctor possibly make a living with such low fees?

As it turns out, a small practice with a full-time doctor and 2-3 credentialed medical assistants can handle over 1000 subscribers while still giving each person much more time than they get under the old model. At $100 per month, this is $1.2 million in annual gross subscriber income, which is enough to pay everybody well, and rent a suitable clinic space. And as you scale up the operation, some economies of scale on things like space and equipment make it even better.

Just as importantly, running a practice like this tends to make a dramatic improvement in a doctor’s quality of life. It’s better medicine, with more flexibility and less hassle and stress. No wonder this model is growing rapidly and has become a favorite of physicians who happen to be MMM readers, as I hear from more of them every month.

Direct Primary Care is now a nationwide movement, with many hundreds of practices spanning the country and many more opening each year. Today’s screenshot of https://mapper.dpcfrontier.com/ shows the current state of the market. 

Direct care locations everywhere

In fact, it turns out this whole trend might even be a Mustachian-originated phenomenon, as I joined my own local practice called Cloud Medical, met the founder Dr. David Tusek, and he revealed halfway through our introductory visit that he was both a founder of DPC pioneer Nextera Healthcare in 2009, and a lurking reader of this blog for several years before I discovered him right here in my own town.  A note for locals: if you are considering joining Cloud, mention that you would like the MMM discount to save a further $12/month! (we have no affiliation, they are just looking to expand the practice and I’ll remove this notice if they fill up)

My experience (so far) with Cloud Medical

Cloud Medical’s Longmont office – definitely a step up over past medical office experiences! (although they do need to add a proper bike rack)

I signed up with Cloud this past summer, about five months ago. Although I have been feeling great, I figured it was time to put myself through an extensive battery of “middle-aged man” tests just to make sure I am not missing any hidden problems. 

With the doctor’s guidance, I did a very thorough blood test, plus an electrocardiogram scan of my heart performance and ultrasound Carotid artery scan which involves a practitioner lubing up your neck and sliding a Star-Trek-style probe around on it while recording images of your body’s most critical plumbing to check for signs of clogging. Plus the usual checks of an annual physical exam. All clear.

I also finally got around to a long-awaited diagnosis and prescription for my Adult Attention Deficit Disorder condition, something which took me seven years to get organized enough to achieve, paradoxically one of the crippling effects of ADD. Although this is a very personal health detail, I mention it here because there are many friends and readers who also suffer from this condition, and I encourage you to learn more about it and seek help if appropriate. It can be life-changing.  I found this process was much easier in a DPC environment, because of the more personal nature of the doctor-patient connection. 

This DPC model addresses perhaps 90% of typical medical needs in-house, and a “menu” of optional specialists knocks out another 5%. 

Cloud and other DPC practices have a “menu” of standardized prices, typically much lower than traditional offices. Full PDF here.

But there is still a chance you will need the more rare (and expensive) services of a hospital or specialist. In this case, your DPC physician can provide referrals and guidance to allow you to get the right help at a discounted, direct-pay price, or even handle your needs with a conventional insurance company.

Part Two: But What About Bigger Expenses?

Health share options, with the one I chose (Sedera) in the center.

At this point, you can add another layer of protection: High deductible conventional insurance, or a health share plan which offers a similar end-result while being careful not to be classified as insurance. 

These plans started out catering only to members of certain religions. Then a provider called Liberty Health Share opened up the market slightly while still requiring some fairly specific spiritual affirmations.

The latest incarnation is a company called Sedera* , which has addressed some of the shortcomings of earlier companies, has no religious basis, and now seems to be the place that most of my more analytical friends and their families are ending up. Even my DPC physician Dr. Tusek is now recommending Sedera.

Sedera is worth a whole separate article in itself, and in fact I am starting a dedicated page for questions and answers and discussion on the experience. But for now, we’ll take a shortcut and just say that I was convinced and willing to give it a try, so I signed myself up as a Sedera customer.

A quick comparison of the closest standard insurance plan I could find on the standard Colorado health insurance exchange, versus what I got from Sedera (click for larger version):

For me, Sedera cuts my monthly cost in half, even while delivering better coverage.

Another thing I like about all this is that there is no concept of “in network” and “out of network” doctors or hospitals. You can even use hospitals in other countries while traveling, and get reimbursed in US dollars after you return home. It’s simpler, cheaper and more flexible.

So in the end, by combining DPC with a health share plan, I am hopefully ending up with the best of all worlds:

The best personalized, advanced medicine and quick response time, possibly anywhere in the world through my DPC subscription, with unlimited “free” (zero co-pay) doctor visits.

Flexible coverage for any additional needs and support for decision-making and billing, even when traveling internationally

A financial backstop just in case things get really expensive

At a total monthly cost that is still lower than the most basic ho-hum plan on standard insurance

A further bonus – Sedera incentivizes you to be a member of a DPC, with a solid discount if you are, because they know their costs to cover you will be lower if you are healthier and have hassle-free access to a doctor.

This all sounds good to me, but it is important to state that this is an experiment. I still don’t have much experience with the US healthcare system – it helped deliver my son in 2006, and then repair that same boy’s broken arm in 2016. Conventional insurance offered some halfhearted support for both of those expenses, but aside from that I don’t have many stories to tell. 

By collecting more information from readers and from my new helpers at Cloud Medical and Sedera, we should be able to make more sense of all this. And hopefully continue to expand and improve this new, better form of health care so it is accessible to more US residents.

If it gets big enough, we might end up solving this whole problem together – better, cheaper health care for everyone.

My past articles and experiences have shown that for many of us, a big hurdle when considering early retirement or self-employment is “what about health insurance”? Hopefully the is DPC + Healthshare method will put that question to rest for many of us. After all, shouldn’t our career and life choices be separate from our healthcare?

—–

Interested in Learning More? A long-time friend of mine (and fellow early-retiree, and co-owner of the HQ coworking space) Bill and his family have been Sedera customers and enthusiasts for about two years. So much that he even took it upon himself to meet the company’s management, sign himself up as a representative to streamline some of the inefficiencies he perceived when joining, and then teach me about the whole thing.

Because of that, I am sharing Bill’s Sedera signup link in this article. His is unique among the Sedera affiliates in that he charges zero administrative fee, typical brokers charge $25 per month and up.

https:/sedera.community/thefireguild1

*note: Sedera does pay its affiliates a small referral fee for new customers, which does not affect your monthly bill – in fact, this link offers a lower price than subscribing directly through the company’s website. Thus, we believe this is the lowest cost way on the Internet to get this coverage.

As mentioned above, I’m giving Bill his own page to maintain on this site, where he can share his ongoing research and updates and answer questions: mrmoneymustache.com/sedera

Further Reading:

I was quite moved by this piece that Cloud Medical’s Dr. David Tusek wrote about “the ten heartbreaks” that led him to work since 2009 towards accelerating this better way to do healthcare.

An interesting story from Bill’s hometown, from a doctor who took this path way back in 2013:

South Portland Doctor Stops Accepting Insurance, Posts Prices Online (from the Bangor Daily News)

from Finance https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2020/11/09/direct-primary-care/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[beastlycheese]

Everything Has Changed

Here lies my Rumbelle Secret Santa for @ittybittybitchywitchy she asked for karaoke and a Rumbelle duet especially the song Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift/Ed Sheeran.

Chapter One

“You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar when I met you”, crooned Neal far too loudly into his girlfriend’s ear.  “No, I wasn’t. I met you when I found you sleeping in the back seat of my car”, protested Emma, “and you will never find a song to fit that scenario”.  

“Ok, Ok, how about this?” Neal tried again, “You were working as a waitress in a karaoke bar when I first fucked you”.

“That much is true” she laughed, “but a rather vulgar attempt at a serenade.  Plus, you are going to have to stop singing that song when Belle comes out because Gaz has been hammering it out none stop at her all night”.

“Ah shit, not again, is that why you wanted me to walk you two back tonight?” Neal worried. His girlfriend and her flatmate, Belle, loved their job at the “Top Hat”.  But it was in a rather dodgy part of town and some of the customers got a bit too handsy by the end of an evening’s drinking and would hang around outside waiting to hijack anyone not coupled off.  He lived in the flat above the bar, it was terribly noisy, but it was cheap and way better than couch surfing or sleeping in other people’s cars.  Living above the bar had made him bouncer-in-chief for the two girls, they got an escort back to their flat and in return he got a quiet sleep-over with Emma. They also had heating, clean sheets, warm showers and a stocked fridge.

Belle finally hurried towards them, tottering in her ridiculously high heels and pulling her tiny coat on.  “Can we get a taxi?” Belle sighed.  “My feet are killing me. I think I have blisters on my blisters!”

“No way!” Complained Emma, “That would mean we worked the last hour for nothing!  I’m going to have to cut down working so many shifts soon with exams coming up, I just need the cash. You should wear flats, I do keep on telling you. No blisters and your gorgeous ‘fuck me’ shoes don’t get waterlogged with slops”.

“OK Mrs Practical footwear and sensibly warm leather jacket, but you and Neal are going to have give me piggy backs or I will never make it. And they are the only way I can reach those glasses at the top. If they were ‘fuck me shoes’ surely I would have a boyfriend by now”.

“Haaa,” said Emma, “that is because you turn down every offer you get”.

“Ugh but I work in a troll bar, they are all disgusting!”

—

They ended up deciding to crash at Neal’s.  The lovers curled up on the sofa together while Belle stretched out on the floor trying to tend to her battered toes.  While they indulged in some ‘medicinal’ whisky the conversation returned to Gaz and his band of fellow ‘disgusting’ trolls.

“So, he took off his shirt at this point and hurls it towards Belle at the bar, thrusting and gyrating his hips and repeating ‘don’t you want me baby’, until Jefferson just pulled him off the stage.”

“It didn’t end there,” added Belle, “Notty and Gaz caught me on my break, they were on either side of me trying to grab my hand, so I positioned them until they were holding each other’s hands and made a break for it.  They were too embarrassed to come after me.”

“Yes, I bet they had to thump each other to prove their heterosexuality to the other nobs after that” sneered Neal.  

“OK, so he is a total sleaze-bag but come on Belle, you have to admit that Gaz is not your average “Top Hat” troll. The six pack, the cheek bones, tall, dark and handsome, he is your classic hunk.” Emma asked her flat mate who had started shaking her head vigorously.

“Not for me, Ems, he is just gargantuan, like Big Foot or an abominable snowman, and all those muscles just give me the creeps. I’ve dated a tall guy, Will was over six foot and I used to get neck ache just trying to look him in the eye, kissing was a logistical conundrum.”

“So, come on Belle then, if it isn’t hunks what type do you go for?” Neal enquired, flashing his eyes and puckering his lips. He quickly received a thump on the arm from his girlfriend.

“Well you have got really lovely eyes Neal, but sorry you are like a brother to me”, said Belle.

“I do love a well-dressed man, not too tall, any colour but the darker the better, mysterious, intelligent – obviously, well read - definitely, a good cook, mature.  I’m so sick of the kids on my course, I know that I’m only a few years older than most of them, but they still think that talking about bodily functions is the height of wit.”

“OK, OK, I’ve got it,” enthused Emma, “you ditch the Troll bar, and get a job at a dwarf tavern next to a university frequented by lecturers and librarians.

“No” said Neal, “librarians are always dressed pretty dowdily.”

“Oh no they are not!” argued Belle, “I was a librarian, we are always smartly put together.”

“When were you a librarian?” quizzed Neal. “I thought you were studying management.”

“I am now.  Libraries are always losing funding, I was made redundant, I could not find a new job for love nor money, Emyr – my boyfriend left me for his best mate – Arthur! So, I came to London for a new start and to retrain for a new career. I’m heartbroken though, not over Emyr we were never right for each other, he was always off on marches, joining every campaign there was, trying to save the world. I was quite happy to sign the petitions and write strongly worded letters, but I hated the confrontational side of protesting, I just wanted to stay at home and find my ideal word in a book. I loved being a librarian.  I really would do anything to live all my life surrounded by books.”

“OK, so not a dwarf tavern, you could be a manager of a book shop with a really low door so only short-asses can get in” decided Emma.

“Or limbo-dancers” laughed Neal. “Would you really do anything to be a librarian again Belle?”

“Definitely.  I would even sell my soul to a demon or a powerful wizard to make it happen.”

“Right, If I found you a job, would you ditch the heels and wear trainers?” tempted Neal.

“Then we wouldn’t have to crash in this dump and we wouldn’t have to get up at 5 to get to classes” dreamed Emma.

“My shoes, that is a higher price to pay than my soul Neal! And Emma if I had a job I wouldn’t need to work at the bar.  But anyway, you are not going to find me a job because there are seriously none out there.”

“We will see!” said Neal with a wink to Emma.  “I will win this deal and you need to go shopping for some trainers.”

—-

“What are you up to Cassisdy?” asked Emma. She was desperate to get to sleep knowing she had to get up early to trek back to her flat first thing.  Neal, however, had other ideas and was busy clicking away on his laptop.

“Ha! Got you” Neal finally whispered triumphantly and pointed to a website on his screen.

“Storybrooke library seeks qualified and experienced librarian” read Emma. “Neal this is a press release from three years ago.  That post will have been filled by now. Hey, Storybrooke? Isn’t that the dreadful one-horse town you escaped from?”

“Yes, well it is more like a village with an ego-problem.   It pretends to be a town and only gets away with that status because it counts all the hamlets from round and about in its supposed population. Private money built the library and a leisure centre, it pretends to be more important than it is. Nobody visits and nobody leaves. Before I escaped my Dad was having a feud over this job with the mayor.”

“Another feud?”

“Yes, another feud, that is one of the reasons I had to leave,” he sighed.  “A feud broke out every other day in that place, usually involving my dad.”

Neal had a very complicated relationship with his father that had always intrigued his girlfriend. Emma had grown up in the care system and would have loved any family to call her own.  Whereas Neal refused to speak to either of his.  When he had first left Storybrooke to study law, he had had a personal crisis, finally out of the clutches of his overprotective father, and buoyed by city life he had decided to seek out his estranged mother.  This had led to a very strained relationship with his father and to top it all his mother and her new husband were as vile as his father had, annoyingly, described.  So, he had dropped out of Uni, changed his name and hit the road to ‘find himself’. All he had found was that it was miserable, cold and uncomfortable not having any money or anywhere to stay.  He had taken to breaking into cars to sleep and scraping a living working in seedy bars.  Without a national insurance number, he had to take what work he could. That was when he had met Jeff who had bailed him out a thousand times with an interesting array of jobs, none too illegal.

His life had turned around recently when he had met Emma, in her car, and she had finally forgiven him and become his girlfriend.  Jeff had settled down a bit by buying a bar trying to clean up his act, primarily because he had managed to regain custody of his daughter. So, in return for lugging the bottles and kegs around, washing-up, baby-sitting the delightful Grace and general dogs-bodying Neal got to stay in the flat above. Jeff had also magicked up jobs for Emma and her flat-mate. He had even saved enough money to enrol part-time on a drama course.  It had helped that the course was run by Jeff’s girlfriend Ariel.  Jeff maybe as mad as a hatter but he always seemed to magically solve every problem that came his way and now Neal was convinced he had discovered a way to magically solve Belle’s problem.

“I bet you anything this job is still there.” Neal explained.  “Dad said she would try to bury it, which is why there is only a press release about it. Nobody looks at those pages and it is not on the job site. You must know where it is to find it. Regina was angling to get her sister the job you see.  Dad managed to find a loophole in the town charter, that said you had to have a degree in library science and experience of working in a library to get the post. She will have hidden it and used the money for a different project out of spite.  Dad was always pro-library, and anti-anything to do with the Mills family.”

“But,” said Emma, “even if Belle wants to go and live in the middle of nowhere and she does apply for and get the job aren’t you afraid she will tell him that she knows you and tell him where you live.”

“She will never find out, unless you tell her. We have different names and she is hardly going to get into a long conversation with him for anything to come up. He is an anti-social grump. The town pariah.”

Chapter Two

Two months later and Belle was on a train back to London having had her interview in Storybrooke. Emma had been texting her all the way up, sending their normal karaoke inspired banter to try and calm her nerves. She was obviously desperate to know the outcome as Belle found eight unread messages when she had finally taken her seat, most of them containing question marks and expletives.

Emma: This is Ground Control, come in Major Tom, report?????

Belle: This is Major Tom, returning to Planet Earth in tin can. I’ve put my trainers on.

Emma: Yayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!! What time will you dock? Welcoming committee getting ready to inspect footwear.

Belle:  Ah, they were metaphorical trainers.  Did not want to jinx myself.  Rendezvous at Hat at 8 for reveal.

Emma: So pleased, but sad you are leaving.  Were villagers friendly?

Belle:  The place is weenie like a village in a fairy story, everything was so small.

Emma: Did you find a dwarf tavern then?

Belle: No, but the taxi driver was definitely Grumpy and the guy on reception Sneezy

Emma: What was the interview like?

Belle: Mayor was Evil Queen, patronising, bossy and scary, her assistant a crazy red-headed witch

Emma: R U sure this job isn’t a poisoned apple then?

Belle:  The library is perfect, and the main users are two teachers who charmed me. Plus, I can live in the flat above, rent free which is good because local landlord is apparently a monster.

Emma: Belles are always good at taming Beasts. Will tell Neal good news, CU at 8  

—

Belle had settled into her little flat in the quaint village of Storybrooke but had struggled to make friends.  Everyone seemed to regard her with suspicion, silence met her every move. The library needed a lot of modernising before she could open it to the public and she was usually too exhausted to go out in the evening.  The waitress at the café had been friendly but far to busy flirting with the male customers to chat with Belle, so she spent most of her time texting Emma.

Emma:  Have you passed inspection yet?

Belle: Yes!!!Evil witch and mysterious Mr Gold arrived @ 2. Gold looks like a cross between Mick Jagger and an accountant. Tho’ he is Scottish so maybe Rod Stewart but not blonde.  

Emma: Billy Connolly? Were they impressed with all the work you have put in?

Belle: Not Billy he is no comedian! He’s serious but strangely flamboyant when angry. He does remind me of someone though, it will come to me..

Emma: How are you making him angry? Isn’t he the Beast?

Belle:  Not me, the witch. They seem to like to snark at each other.  Hopefully their fireballs won’t burn my books.  GTG it looks like the Beast is coming back.

Gold had seen the little beauty from a distance, but he had been trying to keep away from Regina’s latest project.  However, now he had seen the librarian close-up he was drawn immediately back. She was stunning. She had chestnut curls and beautiful blue pools for eyes, stunning long legs over incredibly sexy heels, the like of which he had not seen in this god-forsaken town.  (Well except for the ugly sisters but after dating their mum he really couldn’t think of them as anything other than spoilt little brats). Now, but now, he felt like he had been asleep for a hundred years and his princess had come to wake him and breathe new life into him.  He also felt like a total idiot.  One pretty face and he was acting like a smitten school boy.  She was so young and oh so beautiful, he on the other hand was old and grumpy, with a limp and generally just a complete and utter bastard. Anyway, he was on a mission and he had to return to the library and if that meant he got to gaze on his princess then so be it.

“Good afternoon Mr. Gold. I didn’t expect to see you again so soon.  I’m sorry I didn’t catch your first name?”

“Just Gold will do”, he automatically replied, wanting to punch himself for being so rude.

“Oh, is that short for Justin?” Belle enquired.

“Don’t be smart with me Ms French you know what I mean, you can call be GOLD or MISTER Gold if you insist”

“I am sorry MISTER Gold, I wasn’t meaning to be rude.  I was trying to be friendly I didn’t realise it was a state secret.”

“I don’t expect such impertinence from a public servant.  Good day Miss French”.

Gold stormed off, well stormed off as much as you can with a dodgy ankle and a cane.  Shit, he had got all flustered and totally screwed it up and he was so looking forward to getting his hands on that book.

Belle: I’ve totally screwed up. I asked the Beast too many questions and he got angry, roared at me and disappeared in a puff of smoke! Shit!!!

Emma: OMG did you ask him if he was single and if he was any good with his tongue?

Belle: NO!!! His first name. I only asked him for his first name and he looked so sad with big puppy eyes just like Bae’s and then he exploded.

Emma: He must have a real stinker of a name then.  What do you reckon? Arsehole? Arsehole Gold?

Belle: Beastly because that’s what he is.  But he does have Bae’s pretty eyes, weird.

Emma: What a coincidence. Hugs.

Belle: Yep virtual ones are the only ones you give.

Emma: We can’t all be touchy feely like you!

Belle: I still can’t believe I have made my first customer storm out! Aaaagh

It took Gold two weeks to enter the library again.  He had been monitoring the comings and goings at the library from his shop, on the opposite side of the street and chose the busiest time he could in a hope of not having to deal with the librarian. He sneaked in when Mary Margaret had ushered in her class and creeped to the back.  It didn’t take too long to find the precious book and slipping it under his jacket he made his way to the door.  Belle was busy at the desk dealing with many little hands all waving their picture books and hoping to be next. He grabbed this opportunity and rushed towards the door when suddenly there was a loud clanging alarm and flashing lights. All eyes were on him.  

Before he could move Belle was by his side. “Mr Gold you seem to have set off the alarm. Is there a book that you wish to borrow?  I realise that I’m rather busy now, I could check it out for you later and drop it off at lunchtime if you would like?”  He had little choice but to hand her the book and without saying a word he returned to his shop empty handed.

It took ten more minutes for Belle to sort out the children’s books and while the class got back into their coats Belle chatted with their teacher.  She couldn’t help bringing up the incident with Gold.

“The look on his face was a picture! I’ve never seen him speechless before! He obviously didn’t know about the security tags. I wouldn’t have known if you hadn’t given us that talk. What was the old miser trying to pinch anyway? He is so rich he could afford a hundred libraries you know. His son was lovely. I taught him, and he went off to University. Never comes back though. Obviously sick of the monster too.”

“No, I don’t think he was stealing, just in a rush and didn’t have time to queue I should think. When is your next class due?”

Belle was relieved when the children had gone, and calm returned. No more screaming kids with sticky, grabby paws and no more judgemental chatterboxes. Just her and her beloved books.

It was nearly lunchtime, so she decided she had better deal with Gold straight away.  First snag, he wasn’t on the system. There was an entry for Baelfire Gold, but by the birth date it was obviously not him.  Second snag, it was a reference book and it was not allowed to leave the library.  She was going to have to ring him and tell him the bad news. Third snag, no entry on the system, no phone number. She was going to have to face the Beast in his lair.

Gold was hiding in the back room of his shop, head in hands.  He now remembered Regina had talked to him about the modernisation of the library and some state of the art security system, guess he hadn’t been paying too much attention, transfixed as he had been by Belle’s brightness.  Now he had been humiliated in front of many of his tenants, well their children and the ultimate town gossip Mary Margaret. That librarian had him bewitched, but she had been kind and had covered up for him, and her smile had made his heart skip a beat, or maybe that was the shock of the alarm. All he was sure of was that the beauty had him under her spell and he was cursed to make a fool of himself in front of her every time they met.

Of course, the doorbell was jingling now, he knew it was going to be her, so he pulled himself up and braced himself.

“Ah Ms French, I do hope you have my book.”

“Unfortunately not, Mr Gold, the book you seek is a reference book and I am not at liberty to allow it out of the library.  But you are welcome to attend the library anytime and peruse it at your leisure.” Belle replied, trying desperately not to shake. At that very moment she saw his books. Antique books, immediately drawn to them before Mr Gold could reply she had one in her hand.

“Jane Eyre” she said with wonder. “Is this a first edition Mr Gold?”

“Unfortunately not, Ms French, it is a third edition, but quite rare, if you turn to page 279 you will find that the 9 is actually missing and..”

“Oliver Twist!” said the awestruck librarian, grabbing another prize, her mouth was open wide, eyes flashing, body shaking with excitement.

“Now that is a first edition and a first issue. As you can see it has a Boz title page and the ‘Fireside’ plate. This was rushed out in book form before serialization was complete, and the last few plates were hurried in. Dickens disliked the final ‘Fireside’ plate and asked for a new design, the ‘Church’ plate. He also decided that he no longer wished to be styled “Boz”. The first issue, that you are holding, was published on 9 November; the second, with cancel titles, omitting the sub-title and giving Dickens’s name as the author, and with the ‘Church’ plate at the end, was issued on 16 November 1838.”

Belle was struck dumb during his little speech, she had realised that he was the most handsome man she had ever met, beautifully dressed, intelligent, knowledgeable about her favourite subject and if it wasn’t for his eyes she was quite convinced she would have to kiss him.

Gold smirked. “However, I am not a liberty to allow them out of my shop without you paying the asking price, which you can clearly see on the protective sleeve.”

“Touché, Mr Gold, touché”, Belle sighed.

“But you are, of course, welcome to visit and peruse my collection at your leisure”, Gold added.

They both couldn’t help laughing at that.

Chapter Three

That was the beginning of Belle and Gold’s lunchtime chats.  Gold would put the kettle on, Belle would bring a treat from the café or some experimental bakes from her limited repertoire. Gold was always polite and ate them and smiled, his offerings were of a much higher standard, (YES HE COULD COOK TOO).  Finally, she had found someone to chat to in Storybrooke and the need for company was obviously mutual, she realised that Gold was very lonely.  There were hardly any visitors to his shop because he sold most of his antiques on line. The local residents only came in when they needed favours, usually asking for more time to pay the rent and they were never pleasant conversations.  

Lunchtime was Gold’s favourite part of the day for that was when Belle arrived like a ray of sunshine. He was so deeply in love with her, she was beautiful, intelligent and so enthusiastic to hear all the tales behind his collection of books and antiquities.  Her visits were a delicious torture but he was addicted to her and although he was convinced he was not worthy of her company, he couldn’t and wouldn’t give her up.

Despite them meeting up for over two weeks Gold had not yet visited the library.  Belle wondered if it was his leg that stopped him from popping by, but she wasn’t quite sure how to bring it up without causing a scene and they had been getting on so sweetly that she did not want to rock the boat. She was totally besotted with him now, even his eyes drew her in, Neal totally forgotten. She was unsure how to proceed on that front either, he was such a gentleman, so dignified, so refined, so out of her league.

“How about tomorrow, you could come over to the library, Dylan?” Belle finally asked bravely, cheekily adding: “You can look at that book you tried to steal”

“No it is not Dylan, and I didn’t try to steal it, I..” Gold broke off turning abruptly and moving behind a curtain. Belle slightly alarmed that she had teased too much too quickly followed to find her companion in tears.  She was stunned and on instinct drew him into a big hug stroking his back and whispering words of comfort to him.  Gold broke down, the hug making him cry even harder. Pathetic, he felt like a pathetic wretch, but this angel made him feel safe and loved, finally he manged to get a grip of himself and he motioned to use his handkerchief.

“Belle, I am so so sorry, what must you think of me?  The book, it is the Yearbook for Storybrooke High and it, well, it has a picture of my son in.  I haven’t seen him for three years and I have been so keen to get hold of this picture, it was the last one before he left, and I just needed to see it, the library has been closed and I’m afraid it has become an obsession.  It is pathetic I know, but, but I miss him so much and I tend to grab on to any tiny contact with him I can get.”  He proceeded to tell her how he and his son had become estranged, the bitter words, the mistakes on either side.

“Oh, my precious friend,” Belle replied, she was so moved by his story that she just couldn’t help herself from taking his hands and placing a light kiss on his lips. Gold’s tears soon became tears of joy.

From that moment everything had changed.  Lunches with Gold were now interspersed with cuddles and kisses as they finally understood that their love for each other was a shared feeling. Tonight, though, tonight was a biggy.  Gold had invited her for dinner and by the look in his eyes and the passion in their kisses she knew they were both ready for something more serious.  She decided she would bring him a gift so she found the correct Yearbook and got ready to scan the pictures into her laptop.  It was then she saw it, Gold’s son, Baelfire was her friend Neal!

Belle: Hi Neal, or should I say Baelfire!

Neal: Don’t understand

Belle: Come on Neal, surely you knew I would find out. It all makes sense now, how you knew about this job, this obscure place.

Neal: Shit. I didn’t think you would ever to talk to my Dad. He doesn’t talk to anyone.

Belle: I saw your picture in the Yearbook and yes we talk, a lot.

Neal: You haven’t told him you know me, have you?  I really don’t want to see him.

Belle: Not yet, but you should, he is sorry, and he misses you so much.

Neal: Please no Belle. I’m happy here I don’t want to run again.

Belle: You don’t need to run

Neal: You don’t know what he is like he is just so suffocating.

Belle: I do know what he is like I’m his girlfriend

Neal: WTF!!! He is my Dad!

Belle: Well I did not know that did I !!!

Neal: Suppose not. Please please please don’t tell him, not yet. Hopefully you will split up. He is such an arsehole it won’t be long.

Belle: He is not an ass, he has a nice ass.

Neal: Ew, gross.  You haven’t slept with him have you?

Belle: None of your business, but I’m hardly gonna become your step-Mum anytime soon

Neal: OMG. This is a nightmare.

Later that night Belle lay entwined with her new lover, smiling, content, satisfied.

“Don’t you think it is about time you told me your first name, now that we have been intimate?”

“Hmm, nice try French, I may have shown you every bit of me but I’m still not willing to share that detail”, Gold grinned and pressed a kiss to her brow, nose, lips, and chin.”

“How bad can it be? I feel as If I’ve gone through hundreds of silly names already”.

“OK, I will give you three more guesses and then you will have had your lot”.

“Who do you think you are? Rumplestiltskin?  That’s it isn’t it.  Well I’m sticking with that now. My darling little Rumple, you better get used to it or tell me your real one” demanded Belle.

“You will never guess I will bet you anything and I’m fine with Rumple but I think you need distracting” laughed Gold. He kissed her deeply.  He slowly moved down her body until he had reached the promised land, he hooked her legs over his shoulders and grinned at her little appreciative noises. Swirling his tongue around her folds and clitoris he didn’t stop until she screamed, shuddered and slumped down in ecstasy.

He woke up hours later with Belle’s luscious lips wrapped around his penis, she was returning the favour and he was in heaven.  When he had recovered they cuddled some more, neither was prepared to move, even though it was time to start the day.

“Would you like some breakfast my beauty? Gold asked. “Or have you filled yourself up already?”

“Yes, I’m starving after that work out.  But I’m surprised you can talk this morning, I thought your tongue might be in a sling.

“I loved pleasing you, the little moans you made, the screams and your delicious taste

“Well it was amazing, I’ve never had such a treat, how did you manage to keep going?”

“A book Miss French of course. I read that the best technique was to draw the alphabet with your tongue and when I finished that I started spelling out Lord Byron’s ‘She Walks in Beauty’”, confided Gold.

“God, I love literature” sighed Belle.

Neal:  You promise you haven’t told him.

Belle: No but for my silence I need a favour

Neal: What? Anything.

Belle: What is his first name? And why is it such a secret?

Neal: Oh, now that would be telling.  You out to blackmail the pair of us?

Belle: Maybe

Neal: It is Randy, after Randy Newman, his Dad’s favourite singer.

Belle: Ah I see. Suitable in America but for a kid in Scotland an excuse for bullying.

Neal: Yep, I don’t think he ever got over it.  Wouldn’t tell anyone, didn’t trust anyone, it kind of closed him off especially after Mum dumped him.

Belle: See you still care for him.

Neal: Maybe a little bit.

Belle: How’s Emma? Not heard from her. U 2 OK?

Neal. U2 are pants and you know it.  No, we are great but we got broken into and Emma got her phone nicked.  She moved in with me and now this happens!

Belle: That is awful, what are you going to do?

Neal: Well Jeff has come to the rescue.  This huge bald guy turns up, like 7 foot, with loads of little guys, and they buzz around the place, fit locks, CCTV, central heating, new shower.

Belle: Wow! This huge guy wouldn’t be called Dove would he?

Neal:  Yes I think he was.  You know him? I guess he is one of Jeff’s old bouncer mates.

Belle: Yep maybe.

Lunchtime couldn’t come quick enough for Belle, she had Gold’s name and after what Neal had revealed, many other questions to ask, like how many 7 foot Dove’s in the world could there possibly be?. It was Gold’s turn to bring the treat and he had come up trumps with strawberries, melted chocolate and cream.

“So, If I do guess your real name Rumple, what is my prize?”

“Oh I will owe you a favour, ask and it will be yours, but you only have two more guesses.” He smiled and popped another strawberry into his mouth.

“Ok, Rudolph” said Belle.

“No, my nose isn’t the slightest bit red! Last try”

“Randy?” asked Belle all innocently.

Gold was silent, “Shit, yes that is it, wow. I never thought you would get that.  I hate it. Ruined my childhood. I was bullied and bullied. Randy Beggar they used to call me, the jokes never stopped. Even the teachers joined in.  Please stick with Rumple Belle. It just makes me shake whenever I hear that name.”

Belle got down on her knees before him taking his hands: “Of course Rum, I will. I will never say it again, I wouldn’t want to upset you, ever.  But you are still going to owe me a favour.”

“Thank you,” he replied, “anything, ask anything of me”.

“Karaoke”, said Belle, “I want you to sing a duet with me.”

“What you have got to be joking! You want me to what go down to The White Rabbit, that hole, and sing in front of my tenants, no, Mr Gold does not sing. I would rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty fork!”

“Oh, come now, Rumple, you promised me and it doesn’t have to be The White Rabbit, karaoke bars exist now, you can even hire out little booths with just a few friends.”

“I know dearie, I own one!”

“I knew it you own the Top Hat don’t you? That is why your man Dove was there, that is why Jefferson is so generous to us, you are spying on your son!” replied Belle angrily.

“My son! What do you know about my son Belle? What do you know.”

“Oh Rum,” sighed Belle “just that you love him and will always look out for him whatever happens, and that my best friend loves him too and that he is one lucky guy.”

—

Epilogue

It was the best Storybrooke Christmas ever.  Emma, Neal, baby Henry, Rum and Belle were all wrapped up in their silly Christmas onesies passing presents to each other.  The newly married Gold’s had tastefully decorated their Victorian house and purchased the biggest tree on offer.  They were drinking Bucks Fizz and the mood was merry and bright.

“Ok Belle, this box is for you” said Emma, but it is too heavy to lift so you are going to have to come here.  Belle pushed up off the sofa with a little help from Rum, her tummy rounded and heavy with child. She carefully unwrapped the present.

“A karaoke machine!” she cried.

“Yes, I promised to sing a duet with a beautiful librarian some time ago and I never break a deal, Nealfire set it up”

“Sure Rumplestiltskin, you hold the baby and I will get right on it”, laughed Neal.

The machine was a great hit. The boys couldn’t get the girls off it as they relived their time together at the Top Hat blasting through the favourites. It was after dinner when the happy family gathered to hear the long-awaited debut of Mr and Mrs Gold at the mike.  

“What are we going to sing Rum?  Belle asked.”

“Well, my dearest son was kind enough to help me purchase this machine and he has been helping me practice singing your, apparently favourite song, so hear we go. ‘Everything Has Changed’ by TayTay and Mr Edward Sheeran.  Merry Christmas my love.”

The family cheered, and Belle sang, followed by Rum and then the rest of the Golds joined in.

[Belle] All I knew this morning when I woke Is I know something now, know something now I didn’t before. And all I’ve seen since eighteen hours ago Is green eyes and freckles and your smile In the back of my mind making me feel like [Belle] I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now [Belle and Rum] I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now I just wanna know you, know you, know you [Belle and Rum] ‘Cause all I know is we said, “Hello.” And your eyes look like coming home All I know is a simple name Everything has changed All I know is you held the door You’ll be mine and I’ll be yours All I know since yesterday is everything has changed [Rum] And all my walls stood tall painted blue And I’ll take them down, take them down and open up the door for you [Belle] And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies The beautiful kind, making up for lost time, Taking flight, making me feel right [Belle and Rum] I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now I just wanna know you, know you, know you [All] 'Cause all I know is we said, “Hello.” And your eyes look like coming home All I know is a simple name Everything has changed All I know is you held the door And you’ll be mine and I’ll be yours All I know since yesterday is everything has changed Come back and tell me why I’m feeling like I’ve missed you all this time, oh, oh, oh. And meet me there tonight And let me know that it’s not all in my mind. [All] I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now I just wanna know you, know you, know you

Merry Christmas to all Rumbellers and especially to ittybittybitchywitch

[yuexuan]

Fiction Recommendation 14

September 5th is Zhong Yuan Jie (Ghost Day) in many parts of Asia and October 31st is the Western Halloween, I thought I’d dedicated this round of fiction recommendation to some of the supernatural and mysterious unique to Chinese (and other Asian) cultures. The comment section will contain a short synopsis of the novels, along with some of my own thoughts about the story. 

1. Daomu Biji 盗墓笔记 by Kennedy Xu 

Genre: Mystery, adventure, horror, suspense

Comment: Anyone following my blog knows I am a huge fan of Daomu. Along with Ghost Blows Out Light, both works were considered the pioneering novels that opened the tomb-raiding literature market in China. Daomu is told from a first-person perspective, detailing the adventures of Wu Xie as he visited tomb after tomb to unveil the mysteries that surround him, including that of his close friends and the role he played in the whole scheme of things. This is a highly suspenseful story spanning nine published books with two published sequels - Zang Hai Hua and Sha Hai. One of the highlights of the book is the first person narrative, which allows us to relate and engage with the protagonist, while collecting clues and solving mysteries with the character. 

2. XiongZhai Biji 凶宅笔记 by  贰十三

Genre: Mystery, horror, supernatural

Comment: Xiongzhai - a term applied to haunted houses with past history(ies) of death - are usually sold at very low market price. But where there’s money, there’s business. Jiang Shuo and his friend Qin YiHeng decided to buy these houses cheaply, exorcised then, then resold it at much higher market prices. The two friends work through a series of haunted houses, until Jiang Shuo started to suspect that there’s someone purposefully drawing him to different haunted houses. Also narrated through first-person, XiongZhai Biji explores an interesting ‘market’ and who knows, you might find a haunted house one day. 

3.  海岭荒城 by 罪化/王十一

Genre: BL, supernatural, horror *R18

Comment: Considered one of the classic BL horror stories out there -All reporter Tao wanted to do was interview CEO Ling and enter a contest with said interview. Instead, he was directed to a city designed specifically for movie sets. Granted, the city was a property of the Ling company...When Tao arrived, the city seemed abandoned. There are few, if any, tourists in that area except for a group of hired performers. CEO Ling Li thought that reporter Tao would fare no better than previous reporters, but to his surprise, Tao stayed within the city for more than one night and uncovered a series of mysteries related to the occult. Although plot-wise and character-wise the story is mediocre, but it contains very vivid descriptions of horrific scenes that send chills down my back. 

4.  都市探幽录 by  罪化/王十一

Genre: Mystery, supernatural

Comment: Another series of novel by ZuiHua. Reporter Xia Han and intern Fu Wei were invited to XiangXi Province to experience a river-rafting tour. What was definitely not included in the tour are a line of zombies passing by in the dead of night, a huge snake within the waters and red water bubbling within the last stall of the girl’s toilet...thank goodness Reporter Xia and his intern are familiar to these sightings, seeing as they publish their stories in a special newspaper called the ‘Occult Weekly’. There are four books and each book is a different short story, though interlinked loosely with one another. This title is the opposite of recommendation #3, it has a stronger plot and character setting, but contains less scare factors. 

5.  哇！今夜哪裡有鬼！by 黯然銷魂蛋

Genre: BL, supernatural/horror, humor *R15

Comment: He BiXue is a paranormal reality TV show producer, who happens to also have a tendency to attract the dead unwittingly. Enters Yin Jian, who is a Taoist the studio invited to help deal with the ghosts. From a girlfriend who got severed in half, to being trapped within dreams, to an ancient princess that came back to life, it seems that this reality TV show is definitely ‘cursed’. This story has an interesting setting and is relatable especially for those who watch Taiwanese reality shows. My critique is that it feels like the author hasn't got a strong grip on the characters' personalities, which changes quite frequently throughout the book.

6.  天師執位Ⅰ by  樊落

Genre: BL, supernatural, *R15

Comment:  Nie XiFeng's first impression of Zhang Xuan is as bad as bad can be. After almost dying as a result of listening to the words of a con man posing as a taoist, he swore to never trust another taoist again. In comes Zhang Xuan, who works in his company, but also works a self-acclaimed taoist. Together they solved the mysteries around them -- albeit while fighting with each other -- and just when Nie XiFeng fell in love with Zhang Xuan, he learned that the latter might have some hidden agenda. There are several books in this series, each focusing on a different mystery that involves the supernatural. Plot-wise it can seem to drag a bit in some parts, but overall it’s not bad, plus the ending is surprising. 

7.  見鬼鮮花店 by  雲過是非 Genre: BL, supernatural, humor *R15

Comment: In this day and age, the Western and Oriental supernatural beings have developed friendly ties. Unfortunately, just as prices are increasing in the living world, the prices of items in hell are skyrocketing, especially with less and less people being superstitious these days. The supernaturals have no choice but to walk the modern route and purchase things online. Shu Jiu is a flower shop owner who repeatedly received requests from strange customers. What’s more, he learned that there are four ghosts inside his shop. Really humorous story with cute characters. It's a bit sad though that the ending was very rushed (basically the author spent over 40 chapters to develop a mystery and everything got solved in one ._.) But still, a really nice read.

8. 陰書  by 夜半來敲鍾  Genre: Horror, supernatural, BL **R18

Comment: A group of teenagers in love with all things supernatural decided to visit a haunted house to explore, unwittingly finding a shredded corpse. Ever since then, one by one the teenagers disappeared, who would be next? And how do they break the cycle? I thought that out of all the horror stories, this author’s works are definitely more bone-chilling than the others. 

9.  校園七怪談 by  夜半來敲鍾

Genre: Horror, supernatural, BL

Comment: Lin Feng recently transferred to a new school.  Ever since he transferred, strange happenings abound. The soft sigh in the middle of the night, the footsteps outside the room door, his roommate's haunted looks...When will things end? This story builds on the popular concept of ‘seven strange happenings’ in Asian schools - the strange happenings often refer to unexplained phenomenons that are experienced by multiple students. 

10.  小镇 by dnax

Genre: BL, adventure, suspense

Comment:  Fu En accidentally entered a town in which no one leaves. Here, townsfolk are happy and everyone had their own supernatural powers...except there's a price to using the powers and people aren't as content as they seem. He quickly discovers the loopholes in the 'rules' of the town, along with the twisted mindset of some of the inhabitants. A really bizarre story, but highly suspenseful and really image-evoking.

11.  解忧杂货店 by  东野圭吾

Genre: Supernatural, comfort

Comment:  All the worries and troubles, let this shop help you resolve them. There is a small shop by a corner of the roadside, as long as you write down your worries and place it within its letterbox, you will get an answer in the milkbox located behind the store on the second day. A series of worries, with prophetic-like answers. Very heart-warming and touching.

12.  我準是在地獄 by  YY的劣迹

Genre: Mystery, **R (rated for murder and violence)

Comment: Ning Xiao is just like any other murder mystery author. One night he was mugged but when he found the police at his door next day accusing him for the murder of the mugger, things took a twist. Consecutive murders that follow the plot of his stories, repressed memories and a police with a suspicious background, just who is behind all of these murders? A rabid fan? Ning Xiao’s split personality? Or perhaps the ‘police’...? Even though the story was marked as BL by others, I really think that there's no romantic relationship between the two protagonists - most of the story is focused on the murder mystery plotline. 

13.  谋杀官员1：逻辑王子的演绎 by  紫金陈

Genre: Mystery

Comment: Graduated from Ze Da University's math department, Xu Ce is also known as the prince of logic. Later he won a scholarship to support a PhD study in psychology. However, upon hearing his mother's death, he returned to China. On the other hand, his friend - Gao Dong - also known for his specialty in crimonology, encountered numerous murder cases of government officers. Could Gao Dong resolved these cases? And what does it have to do with Xu Ce? 

14.  推理之王·坏小孩 by  紫金陈

Genre: Mystery

Comment: Four years into their marriage, Xujing had an affair and wanted a divorce. Her husband, Zhang DongShen realized that he would be left with nothing should the divorce occur, and there is only one way out. On the pretense of taking her parents out for a trip, he plotted a murder. Everything should have been perfect. Except that three children became witnesses to the murder, and they are anything but innocent.

15.  推理之王·无证之罪 by  紫金陈

Genre: Mystery

Comment: What if someone claims that he conducted murders to save another person, would you believe their intention? Behind the crimes lie a heart filled with anger and love. A high-class murderer versus a math teacher, both of which are equally skilled, who would win in this chase?

16. 都市夜歸人 by 朱砂

Genre; Mystery, supernatural, BL **R18

Comment: As a sniper, Chen Gu knew his eyesight is superb, just not to the extent that he can see the supernaturals...But how is it that he hadn't notice this strange phenomenon before? Of course, without a certain Mr. Zhong's mentioning, he wouldn't have noticed the strange things around him either. Case after case of supernatural phenomenon appeared, and it is up to the duo to resolve them. However things are more complicated than they expected, - there's still an avenging ghost-human out there trying to revive his dead wife by breaking all the Taoist rules that one can phantom. The author has quite an extensive knowledge of different mythologies and legends. I recommend reading the actual text first before reading the prequel (the prequel was rather dark and slow-paced. Honestly I couldn’t finished it).