#@ self WHAT is this in aid of
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Hi, my name is Ella, and I have had a constant headache for 14 years. I am 26 years old. Painkillers do not work.
I need Pineal Cyst Removal Surgery if I am ever to experience a pain free day again.
I cannot afford the surgery but it would drastically improve my quality of life.
I am suicidally depressed because of my chronic pain.
Can people please reblog this so that it can get traction?
#fundraiser#mutual aid#please reblog this#gofundme#donate if you can#please#i am actually begging you#i'm sorry for the long post but i needed to get the experience written out#i know there are so many people in need#i have donated what I can to palestinian fundraisers#shared so many posts#i ask that you do the same for me#my self esteem tells me that i'm not important enough#or deserving of help#although i have been desperately crying for help for these 14 years#my doctors didn't care
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Super helpful comic by @deannazandt
Full image descriptions by the author here and in the alt text
#self care#self soothing#communalism#community care#structural care#radical means getting to the roots#fundamentally changing things#that’s what we need to create a just and peaceful world#mutual aid#comic#infographic#anarchocommunism#anti capitalism#anticapitalism#anticapitalist#anti capitalist
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"now, doesn't that look nice?" [insp]
#*chanting* skask skask skask skask-#vincent aurelius lin#adamandi#hello. let's talk about what's going on here! i've been tossing the idea about here wrt skin translucency ever since that post came out#(it's linked above fyi. but to quote it.) 'attempting to pursue this unachievable white ideal of the young academic; maybe leading to gory#representations of mimicry; replacement; taking on someone else's skin; altering the self'#this is primarily key in vincent and the skask; in the actual show iirc they used a jockey mask or smth? but i was thinking about the#delightful way skin is semi-transparent. and so a literal layer of skin alone would be unlikely to provide the whiteness pursued-#the under layer of the original tone would be there. so smth about the failure and unattainable.#additionally; at this point of the show the skin would have been likely yellowing or greying due to post-mortem development? so even more#Not white. from observations (as a kid;comparing skin tones?) white people have a pinker undertone (this might be. a generalisation but.)#here the lighting is yellowish to further push the difference + give the super harsh lighting that if you suspend disbelief has some hair#appear as blonde to further the ambrose-ness.#also the hair- messier on the non-ambrose side; a reference to the whole monologue about the haircuts they got#we bring to you also another episode of <i like drawing fabric folds> in the jacket symbolism! from bottom right to top left; it tracks#vincent throughout act two: the initial long jacket for standing out (nonchalance?) at ardess is removed; the yellow coat is put on- aided#here by ambrose's ghost which is represented by the hand! (it is very very slightly transparent- you can see the jacket pattern through it)#(if you look close) and then the satchel goes over it; this mimics the clothes in <oh ms reporter>#and then the Actual Ambrose jacket goes above along with the skask; following the outfit from the pyre scene at the end.#the spark/star thing is partially foreshadowing for the upcoming stabby eye trauma thing (@quincy) and partially just so i could highlight#the eye of the mask/ the place where vincent's eye probably is Behind the mask. because i liked the idea of merging faces; intersection.#back to the translucency of skin - you can kind of make out where the rest of his face is from the darker bit? aka it's not the same colour#as the skask. smth smth limited effectiveness...#tldr? face skin. jacket skin. altering appearance over time; unfeasibleness#when i was doing this i suddenly remembered covering my skin in talcum powder as a kid... hm. i'd forgotten about that.#anyways! when i posted my first ever adamandi thing i had the thought of 'this musical makes me want to paint' and surreally enough#that has proved to be so so true. and ngl i am really enjoying it? love it when the motivation to create is there haha#i will add as a disclaimer that i'm literally chinese and if the colours look off.. i did not mean to make a caricature. please be nice#that said because stage lighting tends to shift colours about a Lot i essentially used my own skin as a reference under yellow light?#so hopefully that checks out. <disappears>
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the tiny, inside the walls, hyping themself up: It’s totally fine. Everything I’ve seen from this human shows that they’re kind, level headed, and normal. There’s utterly nothing wrong with this human, and I can totally befriend them! I shouldn’t be scared at all!
the tiny: *peeks out hole in the bathroom wall, looking up at the giant before them*
the giant, in front of the bathroom sink, obliviously doing their nightly routine: *removes their dentures*
the tiny, has no concept of what dentures are, who just saw this behemoth remove all the bones and flesh from its own mouth in one swift pull, without a flinch of pain: what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck
#g/t#giant tiny#teeth tw#slight body horror tw#i feel like that warrants a tag#anyways I MIGHT HAVE TO GET DENTURES. FUCKIN WHAT#IM TWENTY FIVE#tbh i knew i needed them. but still. got that news today. fuckin nuts#anyways. sorry to ramble abt my irl life. but if i told any of my irl friends i was getting dentures id be roasted#not in a mean way. but there was a denture related incident at the place we all worked years ago. and they would be making parallels so fast#plus i think itll be fun to tell no one and then yank em out at a party as a surprise#can u even yank dentures. idk. ill find out tho!#again sorry for rambling i just love to ramble actually#(also absolutely no shame against ppl w dentures! teeth r incredibly important to self esteem tbh and dentures r a wonderful aid to have)#(like man im gonna smile so much after. chew w both sides of my mouth)#GO BRUSH UR TEETH BTW
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I love researching things for a story. You learn all of these fascinating things you're never going to use...
And also things you wish you didn't know, accompanied by images you can never unsee.
#clowns have been creepy little weirdos forever#sometimes they exist make you to laugh and smile#sometimes they exist to make you think about the world around you more critically#sometimes they exist to teach you how to be a good little citizen by showing what happens if you're not#the only bit of my research i am even remotely employing is the exaggeration of self aspect of some clowns#and idea that exaggerating certain aspects of a personality can aid in exploration of why it exists#and the clown sex#but we won't get too into that one#>.>#yet
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[to myself] you are allowed to use mobility aids. you are allowed to use sensory aids. you are allowed to use mobility aids. you are allowed to use aids to make your life easier. there is not a "level" of disabled you have to be be to use aids. you are allowed, you are allowed, you are allowed.
[to myself] you are not weak for using aids. it does not mean you are not trying. there is no pride in suffering. there is no shame in using help. you are allowed to make your life easier. you are allowed, you are allowed, you are allowed.
#someone tell me to just go buy the goddamn walker#why do i feel so much resistance about it even tho it would help so much sometimes???#always feel guilty for wearing sunglasses in class even tho the light LITERALLY can send me into seizures sometimes#but what if they think i'm being disrespectful#I AM ALLOWED TO ACCOMODATE MY OWN NEEDS#fuck#disability#mobility aids#disability pride#inner conflict#disabled#disabilities#self love#self care#invisible disability#mobility
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If you mess with somebody's mobility/life-preserving aid and all you got was yelled at by the disabled person in question, just know you got off easy. Fucking with somebody's aid can easily become a matter of life-or-death, so you have to understand why somebody would "lash out" about that.
#disability#ableism#ableism tw#reminder that fucking with somebody's aid can easily be classified under physical assault (which is what it is)#still fuming about the time my dad talked about how other people would fuck with his CPAP machine since it *has* to be plugged in an outlet#like. do you understand that not having a CPAP machine can easily either severely negatively affect somebody or kill them..#like why would the thought even cross your mind to risk somebody's life or wellbeing like that#but like. it just kind of reminds me that people can be really thoughtless about what they do and cause and effect#like at this point it's self-defense in my eyes and if you're yelled at i don't have sympathy#i will understand if you thought you were being nice but that's where my understanding ends#this is why i like when people have huge patches/stickers on their aids that are like 'DO NOT TOUCH ME' or 'I WILL BITE IF YOU TOUCH ME'#just as examples. but like. yes you shouldn't need to put that there in the first place but it is iconic#it is in-your-face and direct and it reminds everybody around you that it is up to *them* to treat *you* as an equal to abled people#it is bleak though and i hate that people have the need to put them there in the first place#if i ever needed to use more visible or 'obtrusive' aids then i'd absolutely do the same thing though
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as yr favorite local jason todd fan sometimes i get so fed up with the apparent inability of most dc comic writers to write a class conscious narrative about him.
and yes, i know that comics are a very ephemeral and constantly evolving and self-conflicting medium.
and yes, i know they’re a profit-driven art medium created in a capitalistic society, so there are very few times where comics are going to be created solely out of the desire to authentically and carefully and deliberately represent a character and take them from one emotional narrative place to another, because dc cares about profit and sometimes playing it safe is what sells.
and yes, i know comics and other forms of art reflect and recreate the society within which they were conceived as ideas, and so the dominant societal ideas about gender and race and class and so on are going to be recreated within comics (and/or will be responded to, if the writer is particularly societally conscious).
but jesus christ. you (the writer/writers) have a working class character who has been homeless, who has lost multiple parents, who has been in close proximity to someone struggling with addiction, who has had to steal to survive, who may have (depending on your reading of several different moments across different comics created by different people) been a victim of csa, who has clearly (subtextually) struggled with his mental health, who was a victim of a violent murder, and who has an entirely distinct and unique perspective on justice that has evolved based on his lived experiences.
and instead of delving into any of that, or examining the myriad of ways that classism in the writers’ room and the editors’ room and the readers’ heads affected jason’s character to make sure you’re writing him responsibly, or giving him a plotline where his views on what justice looks like are challenged by another working class character, or allowing him to demonstrate actual autonomy and agency in deciding what relationships he wants to have with people who he loves but sees as having failed him in different ways, or thinking carefully about what his having chosen an alias that once belonged to his murderer says about his decision-making and motivations, you keep him stuck in a loop of going by the red hood, addressing crime by occupying a position of relative power that perpetuates crime & harm rather than ever getting at the root causes, and seesawing between a) agreeing with his adoptive family entirely about fighting nonlethally in ways that are often inconsistent with his apparent motivations or b) disagreeing and experiencing unnecessarily brutal and violent reactions from his adoptive father as if that kind of violence isn’t the kind of thing he experienced as a child and something bruce himself is trying to prevent jason from perpetuating. because a comic with red hood, quips, high stakes, and familial drama sells.
it doesn’t matter if it keeps jason trapped, torn between an unanswered moral and philosophical question, a collection of identities that no longer fit him, and a family that accepts him circumstantially. it doesn’t matter if jason’s characterization is so utterly inconsistent that the only way to mesh it together is to piece different aspects of different titles and plotlines together like a jigsaw. it doesn’t matter if you do a disservice to his character, because in the end you don’t want to transform him or even understand him deeply enough to identify what makes him compelling and focus on that.
and i love jason!!!!! i love him. and i think about the stories we could have, if quality and art and doing justice to the character were prioritized as much as selling a title and having a dark and brooding batfam member besides bruce just to be the black sheep character are prioritized. and i just get a little sad.
#jason todd#jason todd meta#red hood#batfam#batman#dc comics#comic analysis#classism#tw: csa mention#maybe someday half of the most intriguing and nuanced aspects of his character will be touched upon#red hood outlaw 51-52 had some cool moments wrt jason + class + hometown friends + systems of power but. that was a two issue arc#and even then it was admittedly messy#GOD i want him to be three dimensional and well rounded and well used#even if a writer wrote a fucking. filler comic for an annual or smthn exploring what jason does outside of being red hood#keep the name if u want. have him have deliberately taken the name of his killer and twisted it until ppl from his city know rh#as a protector of kids and the poor and sex workers and so on. that WORKS. but show him connecting w his community#have him get involved in mutual aid. have him do something when he’s not out as red hood at night. let us see jason & barbara interact more#or jason and steph !!!!!!!! or another positive but complicated dynamic (he has a lot of those)#i just. i think that his stagnancy makes me fucking sad. i liked some aspects of task force z. felt like it ended too soon tho#FUCK the joker lets unpack his self concept & have him be a real person outside of vigilanteism (?) and vengeance#i liked some aspects of the cheer arc in batman urban legends mostly bc he had SOME agency and bc he wasn’t completely flat#even tho i hate the retconning of robin jason being angry and moody and so on#part of the problem is we don’t see him too too often for more than semi brief appearances so im so happy to see him i’ll just accept it#love the idea of a nightwing & red hood team up comic. hate that tom taylor a) wrote it and b) gave jason that stupid ass line abt justice#u think this man trusts cops ????? or the legal system !????????? BITCH.#get jason todd into like a sociology / gender and intersectionality / feminist studies class NOWWWWW#ok im done im sleepy and going to watch nimona. thx for reading to anyone who did#PLS anyone who reads this let me know what u think im frothing at the mouth rn#wes.txt#mine
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everyone's smiling extra brightly it's a sight you'll only see once in a lifetime so i want to store them in my memory with extra care 💓 pi-pipi-pi-pi-pipopapo! 💓
#kamen rider#kamen rider ex-aid#kr ex-aid#poppy pipopapo#my art#not gonna tag what i heavily referenced for this but like iykyk#this was just really Really self indulgent#and i'm happy i put in the extra effort into it
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Didn’t know you had it in you, did you (Patreon)
#Doodles#Adventure Time#Fionna and Cake#Simon Petrikov#Winter King#Winterkov#What? Me? Enjoying a self/ ship ft. two dorks wearing glasses? Haha couldn't be me that doesn't sound like me at all#Trading one Tom Kenny brainworms for another sheesh - Tom Kenny stop voicing queer scientists challenge (impossible)#I hadn't drawn Simon before but I have known he's a massive cute for a heck while now lol#And yeah confirmed - he's Really fun to draw especially this iteration#His crows feet and hair streak ugh <3#Plus I've just missed this style of eye more than I realized haha#And Winter just flows off my pencil like water like woah#I blame Spamton at least partially for that lol although he's easier to draw than Spamton :0#Spamton is very fun! Winter's just easier for some reason :0#Maybe 'cause he's so soft-faced haha ♥ And I don't use my colours on him lol#Honestly I only count this as self-slash on a technicality - yes they're both Simon bodily but that's not really Simon in Winter anymore huh#Maybe to some extent - he's still a scientist and all but honestly there's a comment I can't stop thinking about since I saw it#About how really that's The Crown using Simon as a host just without the madness - and his skills aid in keeping him lucid#So it's like a ghost puppeting your clone's still-living corpse more so than kissing yourself :) In my opinion lol#And I don't say that to get away from self-shipping! I love that stuff!! That's just genuinely how I read Winter now haha#Not that he wouldn't play into it lol#I've seen a ''I am like this so you are also like this :) Right Simon? :) You're like this'' and I enjoy that very much#Manipulative so and so <3
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URGENT COMMISSIONS!!!
hi tumblar.. umm basically to lay it out super simple i was fired from my job a few months ago and have been rationing out my bank account to buy groceries (cheap where i can, but i’m celiac and that means most things are double the average price around here) for myself + my fiance, and now im at the point where im running out of money to pay for groceries, my phone bill, and my testosterone. my monthly expenses are around, in total, $400 . i have another week or so before i will have next to nothing in my bank account.
as of right now i’m completely unable to hold a job due to my autism, and so i am opening up cheap pfp/half body commissions!! i take payments through p4y.p4l or kofi!
feel free to dm me here, or message me on discord @ splatzones to work with me!! even if you would not like to commission me reblogs to get this to a wider audience would be heavily appreciated!!
MORE EXAMPLES OF ART + PRICES UNDER READMORE:
#umm im unsure what to tag this with.#mutual aid#commission#please boost#spiderwebs#self ship#artists on tumblr
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mlvns will accuse bylers of only seeing mike as an accessory to will but if you ask them what they think mike’s arc is outside of his romantic relationship it’s crickets...
#as if we havent been the ones recognizing that mike has his own individual arc about conformity and self worth#and his internal struggles about his sexuality 😭#funny thing is ive never seen them discuss mike’s feelings of inferiority and worthlessness in his own relationship...#bc they know it looks bad for their ship lmfao#also will’s literally the only one shown to aid in mike’s growth as a character.#like he isnt even the gf but hes the one reassuring mike making him feel loved and important#dont you think they wouldve resolved the unequal dynamic in mlvn’s relationship#by having el be the one to assure mike that she loves him regardless of what he can offer her...#like will cant be the one playing the role of mike’s partner constantly#he literally knows about mike’s deep thoughts and insecurities more than el does...#imagine seeing this play out in any other relationship 😭#byler
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more than anything, what i want for hera is the safety to have trivial interests, to be unimpressive and entirely mundane. so much of her life is defined by the limitations imposed on her. she is always in some level of pain, and the entire concept of... knowing physical pain as a sensation without ever really experiencing pleasure, only occasional relief, gets to me a lot in the context of disability. she has never had a day in her life where she hasn't had to be concerned for her survival. even when she's able to relax, even when she's just goofing off with eiffel, whatever space he can give her for that... she's still constantly running all of these background processes, calculating and monitoring and making choices for her own safety, and there is something about that... in the same way that "i can't do this. i'm not good enough." being programmed into her is a useful metaphor for understanding trauma, i kind of feel those background processes, the constant need to multitask and take into account so many more things so much more quickly than anyone else, just to exist... there's something about that that resonates with me. i want her to feel safe enough to be able to just... turn that off. for a little while. i want her to see the ocean and not have to think about the direction of the waves.
#wolf 359#w359#hera wolf 359#was trying to write silly posts about her last night but it always gets sad like it's#difficult to say Nothing about her the way i say things about eiffel#because she has such little room for that and what space she does get. is mostly in her relationship with eiffel.#i don't know. i want her to get to do very normal things.#you can't even give her like a nice blanket i think she deserves a nice blanket#making a note to myself here but#when i have more energy i need to talk about the way i'm conceptualizing the idea of hera#maybe getting a body post canon in the context of like#how that can be treated as a disability aid in her particular situation. and in the context of self-determination and transness. obviously
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DONATION COMMISSIONS FOR GAZA!
hi all! I AM OPEN FOR DONATION COMMISSIONS! thankfully, i've found that the lovely people at @commissions4aid-international already have a good system set up for this sort of thing :)
you can find info about my writing, editing, and cross stitch pattern commissions here, along with many other talented creatives :)
in short, i work professionally as a writer and editor, and have experience doing both for over 10 years (as a hobby, for various publications, and for other purposes). i also have a decade of cross stitching experience under my belt! if you donate $10 to a vetted palestinian fundraiser, i will write, edit, or make a pattern for you! please check the link above for more info :)
just send me a dm if you're interested, and please boost this post if you're not!
examples of my writing (primarily fanwork) and my cross stitching!
#i have been procrastinating this for a very long time because i hate making graphics 😭 so i've given up. no flashy graphic for you you will#just have to read 😭#i've been making notes under existing donation posts + asks which is a bit taxing for me.. so i hope this can gain some more traction?#i'll self rb frequently at the very least#free palestine#palestine#palestine aid#gaza#gaza aid#donation commissions#unsure what else to tag. please just boost!
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Some thoughts about cpunk and mobility aids
I recently saw this post by @satellites-halo:
I think OP brings up a very good point here: if your mobility aid is obviously dangerous you can’t bring it places you’ll need to go. That said this isn’t the end of the story.
As a practitioner of HEMA (Historical European Martial Arts; using historical weapons from Europe) there are actually a lot of writings on using things like canes and chairs for self defense/offense. For example there was a several year streak in London where walking staffs were the most deadly weapon. When these books and treatises were written they weren’t adding spikes or barbed wire to these things.
I am pretty much a full time cane user due to my hEDS and POTS. I will not use it for a little bit but I end up unstable and in pain afterwards, I mainly do this for exercise/practice. So I have been very interested in learning how to use a cane in this way, as well as seeing how other, similar, aids have been used throughout history.
While not all of these forms of fighting are useful for all mobility aid users, such as full time wheelchair users or some forearm crutch users, there’s a surprising amount of people it will work for. For example, I’m currently reading a treatise by a man who is partially blind, that is his term with modern vocabulary we would call him legally blind, and he is good enough at fighting to be considered one of the most amazing swordsman and cane fighter. (It should be noted that he did not have access to glasses and mainly navigated the world tactually)
The only real requirement is that the aid should be built from a single piece (not any of the foldable kinds) and be of sturdy materials: metal, solid wood, etc. While I recognize that this does exclude a fair few mobility aids there’s still a fair few this works for: canes, rollators (though lifting them into position for fighting might be untenable for some people), forearm crutches (if used like a Roman forearm blade, again some may not be able to do this), and even some leashes for service dogs (used as a rope dart) to name a few. There are probably more in forgetting but it’s a lot.
The key thing about all of this is that you don’t have to add scary spikes that might make the TSA balk at you, you can just use a normal looking mobility aid to do the same thing. It should also be noted that most courts consider mobility aids to be part of the person using them for the purposes of assault charges; if someone touches your mobility aid in a way you don’t like, that’s assault and you can respond in kind. That isn’t legal advice and there’s still ‘appropriate force’ president to consider but twapping someone who is grabbing at your cane, especially maliciously, isn’t out of question for a normal reaction, and being good at doing so is preferable.
Ok, cool Beth, but what do I do with this info?
There’s a little part of this post that’s me trying to get more disabled people like me into a sport I love but I can’t do so without some caveats. Not all HEMA clubs are built the same and some can be downright nasty, please look up any club you consider joining and maybe ask a physical/occupational therapist before launching into a contact sport. If it’s not in your interest then that’s also fine, there are several forums that post book recommendations for learning cane fighting or uses of a chair in WWII fighting (what rollators are great for).
If you’re a cane user, there are actually custom canes that you can order that are especially made for fighting (that aren’t objectionable enough to be confiscated by anyone who does security) but also just getting a cane made from a hardwood works. The website https://canemasters.com has a great selection and a really nice custom ordering system.
I wish I had more for other forms of mobility aids but my research is limited, if you have more sources for this stuff please comment/repost with them. If that’s not your style my dms are always open for cool fighting stuff!
Be safe and stay punk!
#cripple punk#cpunk#physical disability#mobility aid#mobility aid user#physically disabled#c punk#disabilties#disabled#actually disabled#pots#heds#HEMA#historical european martial arts#cane fighting#ableism#disability rights#self defense#using what god gave you#forearm crutches#ambulatory wheelchair user#kind of#rollators#chair fighting#angry cripple
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what if i just go to urgent care like hey im in pain all the time and have been for weeks/months/years and its only getting worse what do i do . idk that theyd even be able to help since its not like. an acute injury or infection or something. but im in so much pain and ibuprofen isnt cutting it anymore and getting a pcp is scary and takes Time
#text#neg#i dont even know what id want out of an urgent care trip though. mainly i want a diagnosis so i know whats wrong with me#and if it will get better. and i want a doctor to say i should use mobility aids so i can use them and say 'my doctor said i should'#so people cant be like. sometibg something tiktok something something self dx something something no one wants to wakl anymore#i know i can lie but i dont like lying especially to like my friends#and again i want to know wjhats actually wrong with me#health tag
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