#? idk the spelling. there’s like 1 post in each tag anyways

[siliconcat]

hi to all 4 other people who enjoy this pairing. everyone else: hear me out

followup from more patchouli stuff

[supershanaynay1]

For the WIPs tag, 1, 5 and 9? :D

(I ugly laughed in the best kind of nearly choking way at the title of 1)

Cas Fists the Leviathans

LMAO. Oh dear god, ok I went and looked into this because I was like wtf and what I have written in the doc is literally "The Trap. That’s it. That’s the prompt." WHICH IS ENTIRELY NOT HELPFUL PAST ME KJDSFHDS

BUT i think what this is for is a Cas perspective of 'The Trap' (spn 15x09) where he fights Leviathans and gets the Leviathan blossom for the Trap God Spell That Wasn't. And he apparently fists them. Is it sexual? Is it a metaphor? Who knows. Not me.

5. Duolingo Owl

DUOLINGO OWL WIP MY BELOVED. Ok so the duolingo owl is hunting people for not doing their daily whatever on the duolingo app (and it's discovered that the duolingo owl is a tulpa from all the internet memes of the duolingo owl comes to kill you if you don't keep up your speaking in spanish streak). I don't know if the boys succeed on this hunt, but it's definitely a crack fic that knowing me becomes serious

9. Midam

MY MIDAM WIP. Ok so this is a post 15x19 fic where Chuck is alive (I think, I wasn't very clear in what I've written), so pretty much would follow the canon of 15x19 except Michael didn't betray the Winchesters and die and he and Adam are living and having their best life. (Also Gabriel's apparently alive in this fic so idk if this is supposed be post *my* 15x19/15x20 fix-it fic (TBPWYAD) canon or what because I still haven't decided if Chuck dies or not, but according this WIP he's still alive). BUT ANYWAY this is soft fluff fic where Michael and Adam go on a date in Italy I believe.

Bonus, I'll even share a little snippit because i love my little body-sharing archangel/human duo:

Michael raised an eyebrow. “You told me humans liked performing an elaborate ritual of care and affection on this holy day.”

Adam quickly did a mental tally of every conversation they had had recently. There was world travelling, giving a silent ‘fuck you’ to both of their families (Gabriel was an exception, but he was on thin ice), making up with Amara for locking her up for centuries (that Thanksgiving dinner was going to be awkward), drop kicking Chuck into the sun (Michael was quite fond of that idea, especially after the Rapture, but Adam figured there were better ways to get back at the former God), finding a job… 

Oh, of course. A couple days before Adam had been explaining the point behind buying others chocolates and flowers and giving each other cards with pictures of naked baby angels on them (Michael had spent a good half an hour going over the inaccuracies of the cartoon cupids to the real deal).

“Wait, you’re telling me it’s Valentine’s Day?” Adam laughed aloud, earning him an odd look from the couple walking past. “And we’re… celebrating it?”

Michael shrugged. The archangel almost seemed embarrassed. “I believe you would call it a date.”

[jikookpancakes]

JIKOOK FIC RECS that no one asked for (2021)

but im giving anyway because THE TALENT IN THIS FANDOM IS INSANE

long post incoming!! this is probably just part 1 because i wont stop reading anytime soon so i’m inserting that link just in case i do make another one in the future

What’s a Soul Really Worth, Anyway? by thisneedsmorefilth - 130k words, fantasy, demon!jm, witch!jk, listen, this and the next one are my top 2 jikook fics of all time, so well-written, plot so exciting legit reads like a book, better than a lot of books tbh, the world-building is INSANE, jungkook and the gang accidentally summon demon!jimin and chaos ensue, especially for jungkook...and you know why!!!, so funny, angsty, cried so much, happy ending but listen to me: you gotta read the sequel too, YOU GOTTA.

Militat Omnis Amans: The Beginnings by edaen - 92k words, fantasy, werewolf!jk, vampire!jm, forbidden love, super slow burn but super worth it, JIKOOK IN THIS IS MY FAVORITE JIKOOK IN ANY FIC EVER EVER EVER, this is the ultimate all or nothing will freeze hell over for the other kind of love, and the way this is written is just so... how do i describe it. like you can just tell the author wanted to be very realistic with their feelings. you’ve seen the word count, this is SLOW burn. like you will legit feel their struggle to just be able to love each other and while it hurts, it’s also SO GLORIOUS. i love this one so much and if you like reading angst with happy ending but like cranked up to 200% then read this. bonus feels if you read the whole series

Until Dawn (series) by edaen - this is the long series where the previous one above is part of. highly rec if you love fantasy and you wanna read about bts being a rag tag group of supernatural beings fighting evil yay. also it makes the above fic more satisfying because you see more of jikook just being tgt and in love (with bonus angst because of course)

7 Signs by NamHyora - 27k words, secret spies au, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm who is always used as a raven in their operations aka they use jimin and his attractive self to attract people and gather information or acquire targets and all that spy stuff, and his bestie alpha jk is not too happy about it hehe, friends to lovers, iove this one so much i wish it was longer but i think the author is planning to write a sequel!

Drop Like Confetti by annie_vi - 110k words, ceo!jk, age difference, age swap, ahhh i love this fic so much cause jimin smart and mature and has this no bs attitude, and he can keep up with jk despite the age gap and the difference in status/experiences, jk sexy dilf in this one eheh, i love it cause the drama/angst tackles a very real concern for such couples, like there’s no angst just for the sake of having angst, it really makes sense where they’re both coming from, they’re so whipped for eo too so love that for me

Fold it Up Like Origami by annie_vi - 99k words, gamer!jk, model!jm, same author as above and jk is so boyfriend goals in this one and in all this author’s fics in general like wow my standards are so high now i will legit be single forever just reading jikook fics (with no regrets), secret relationship due to their celeb status, well-written as usual, dialogues/banter in this author’s fics are just YES

The Tournament by kinkmins - 34k words, prince!jm, bodyguard!jk, abo, i’ll paste part of the summary here “Prince Jimin gets ready to hold a tournament where 50 alphas compete for a chance to court him, his father the king hires a new bodyguard who is a little too blunt and a little too talkative.“, i really love this oneeeee

Screwed Up and Brilliant by annie_vi - 113k words, escort!jk, jimin needed a date for a work event and in comes jungkook, escort extraordinaire with a no sex rule and jimin is just dasdkjfhasl, a lot of that “is this real or is he just acting” kinda angst, fluff smut angst

Like Everything Glows by annie_vi - 180k words, merman!jm, aquatic vet!jk, ok this is like my 4th rec from this author just read all their fics you’re welcome, this is their first fantasy fic but soso good, i rec’d this to someone who doesn’t really read fics and she really loved it and said “their love is so pure hhh”, she’s right

Track one: I love you by honeydice - 30k words, they’re “just” best friends, lots of pining it hurts, there’s some yoonmin and mentioned past jinmin in this so just noting in case, angst, denial of feelings, siiiiigh

InYou by edaen - 4k words, pwp :), abo, the morning after jikook mating, more sexytimes ensue + fluff

Falling For You Again by Rose_gold715 - 30k words, amnesia au, jk forgets about jimin and idk just something about this hits right in the feels. btw i don’t support the jk hated jm before in real life agenda so i don’t like this fic for that reason but i like this fic because i love me some good painful angst with happy ending.

The President’s Son by AmeliaBedelia - 55k words, bodyguard!jk, president’s son!jm, jk is assigned to shadow jm bc his life is under threat, and things develop :), jm is jk’s gay awakening :) :)

A Touch of Sin by pettey - 102k words, fantasy au, police officer!jk, supernatural!jm, shamanism, LOOK AT THE RANGE OF JIKOOK WRITERS YALL, this is such an interesting concept, so different from every other fic i’ve read, really well-written, sometimes you come across fics and you cant help but go “someone out there rly blessing me with this art for free”

Tears to the Tide by haromame - 65k words, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm, honestly there’s not a lot of abo elements it’s focused more on jungkook having ptsd as he just came from war, established relationship jikook, he comes back home to jimin and things have just... changed. except their love ok THEY LOVE EO SO MUCH this made me cry so f much ugh so good tho.

Zero Hour by edaen - 5k words, canon compliant, a little drabble based around rosebowl jikook, it’s part of a series/collection of canon compliant jikook so if you’re looking for more canon compliant here you go!!, also if you can’t tell already i tend to like several things from a single author, i haven’t read their other fics im legit saving for sad days but i am confident enough to say their other fics are also rec-worthy.

Wonder by wordcouture - 7k words, im sorry in advance, mcd :( pls take care of yourself, i don’t like sad endings ok i don’t, but this is so popular and i was like, ok let’s see what the hype is all about, i get it now, :((((((((((((((((((((, well-written tho, bc the author will manage to crush your heart in just 7k words ha ha

The Omega Revolution by PinkBTS  - 158k words, abo, alpha!jk omega!jm, dystopian au, the hunger games more specifically mockingjay vibes, angst with happy ending but there’s some...things... lost along the way and i think that’s realistic for a dystopian war au, well-written

Blind Switch - 226k words, jockey!jk, rich spoiled brat!jm, jm gets exiled to his grandparents ranch where he meets jk yeehaw, im sorry for the yeehaw, anyway fluff smut angst enemies friends to lovers hurt/comfort slow burn happy ending, all the good stuff, ugh jk so boyfriend goals, also the amount of fluff in the later chapters thank u writer

Finally by Rose_gold715 - 12k words, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm, angst with happy ending, jikook mate out of convenience and jimin runs away from jk and his pack feeling unloved and outcasted, but jungkook goes after him :((

Park Jimin’s Guide to Good Housekeeping by Ashlyn17 - 235k words, fantasy au, when i say jikook has the best fic writers i mean jikook has the best fic writers because THE WORLD-BUILDING in this one?, THE PLOT TWIST?, yesyesyes, jungkook is a powerful fae and jimin is assigned to be his housekeeper hehe, listen my entire fic rec has several that could be great netflix shows and this is definitely one of them

A Spell That Reminds Me of Your Name by Chimneycricket - 42k words, wizards!au, enemies to friends to lovers and the development felt natural, well-written plus the author sometimes makes art of their fics and other jikook fics and posts on twitter, both their fics and art are so good, i’ve heard good stuff about their other fics too :)

that’s it for now!

just a quick one about my preferences: idc about tops/bottoms, i read just about anything but i prefer fantasy and multi-chaptered fics, i love established relationship jikook so hmu with recs anytime, i don’t like reading anything with cheating and mcd, i love fics where jk and jm are just so friggin in love they are just IT for eo, and at the end of the day even if there are elements to the fics i wouldn’t normally read, as long as they’re well-written then i’m all for it

[beloved-child-of-the-house]

Fic Writer Questions! (you can find me here on AO3 if you're interested!)

tagged by dear @theburialofstrawberries mwah!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

112 yowza!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

750,421 kinda tempted to go delete one word so it can be 750420 which is a far more Pleasing number

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

12ish but some of them overlap: BBCS/Sherlock Holmes/ACD (these are all different bc my bbcs fics are not the same as my own modern fem Sherlock Holmes adaptation are not the same as my ACD Holmes fic; Good Omens; Harry Potter/The Werewolf Draco Malfoy Cinematic Universe; Captive Prince; The Hobbit; Fleabag (it was a crossover with BBCS but Fleabag is the perspective character so it still counts as a separate fandom imo); Doctor Who; The Office; Parks and Rec; Broad City (one a piece for those last 5 but I AM going to write a Parks and Rec polycule fic for @gaykagome)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

They're all Good Omens fics from the 2019 Summer of Good Omens! Susceptible to Summer, Fragments Shored Against My Ruin, Something So Magic, Enter Serpent, and Anything We Like

All of those have over 2k except the last one, but average engagement for me is like 400 kudos or so

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try! It depends on what's going on with me. Sometimes I just don't have the energy, and I figure people would rather I spend my brain power on writing new fics than on writing replies to comments. Wish I had a fave button tho so I could let people know I read and reread comments, because I do!

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh I wrote this ficlet series called A Chemical Defect about John and Sherlock's relationship in s3 of BBCS, and it's WILDLY unpopular. People don't read my fic to cry sad tears I guess! John and Sherlock are having an affair in the story, and it ends with the implication that their relationship is unsustainable and that Mary knows about it anyway. I intended to come back to it after s4 and write a more optimistic ending but LOL! Didn't have the heart.

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I know this answer is kinda up my own ass, but like. I think stories that feel true to life sort of feel like they end on a beginning if you know what I mean? You don't really consider a chapter of your life closed until you look back on it from the next? SO that said, I think I'd have to say that it's my big BBCS serial The Only One in the World. I spent 2 years writing it, and it ends with John retiring from medicine to solve crimes and write books full time.

Could also be my WDMCU (werewolf Draco Malfoy cinematic universe) series Moonrise, which starts with Draco isolated in his abusive mother's house, trying to cope with lycanthropy essentially alone and ends with him in love and surrounded by found family in a cozy cottage in Hogsmeade, having gotten some lycanthrope rights legislation passed after working at it for years and talking to Harry about whether they want to have kids. Oh man I feel warm and fuzzy just thinking about it

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I have written one crossover. It's BBCS/Fleabag, because me and @loudest-subtext-in-tv were laughing about how John seems like one of the horrible guys Fleabag sleeps with basically out of self loathing, so I wrote this fic to make Nattie laugh, and you should read it bc it's so good and so underrated.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really, but people don't seem to know that authors can read bookmark tags unless you private the bookmark, and someone once put in the bookmark tag on one of my fics 'writing was meh but it was okay.' Okay so why bookmark it then??

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Fuck yes! I'm not sure what 'what kind?' means? People fucking? Sloppy, silly, and awkward, with lots of laughing. I also really like writing afterglow scenes which are even sillier and gigglier and often involve one character cooking for another. Food as love language is a very distinct pattern of mine tbh

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, but occasionally I'll write a post on here where I make some elaborate head canon, and I'll see people in the tags talking about how they want to write fic of it, and it makes me breathe fire out of my nose like a dragon like PLEASE DON'T. The WDMCU came out of a ficlet post I made on here like a year before I actually wrote the 60k series so like!!! Please don't do that!

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! To Russian and I believe Chinese. Not my entire oeuvre but a handful of BBCS and Good Omens fics

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I wrote a fic inspired by an RP I did with my gf right around when we met (actually now that I think about it, it's two fics), and I waaaaaaanna do a WDMCU collab with my beloved Sally @clytemenestras at some point if he has time bc he inspired me to even write werewolf draco with his original lesbian werewolf story

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

favorites are hard for me? I always think I'm currently doing my best writing lol so I'll say drarry

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I don't post fics unless theyre finished, so I don't have any WIP up on AO3, but I did intend to continue with my fem Sherlock Holmes series, Your Many Tendencies. I just haven't been in a Holmes mood for a long time. Maybe I'll come back to it idk. This particular series is honestly very unpopular? People will just straight up say they don't read femslash, and it hurts a lot. This series feels really personal too, bc it's about a Black autistic nonbinary lesbian, so it does hurt my feelings that no one seems to care, yknow? I mean the people who read it are extremely kind and thoughtful in their engagement with it, but it has vastly less engagement than my m/m fic, and that's painful. It gets literally 1/10 the attention my fics usually get.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Almost all of my writing is romance, but I tend to write concurrently about recovery and found family, and I think I'm very good at doing that in a way that connects with my audience. I once had someone ask if they could use my words in their wedding vows, and I've had people tell me they started doing things with their spouse that my characters do with their partners in order to express love. I think about that all the time. My Impact. It makes me feel like I have a real duty to my audience yknow?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

This question is hard for me like I've been writing so long and so much that I'm literally always happy with my final draft! It's always exactly to my taste, yknow? I suppose I could say that my fics tend not to be terribly plotty but so WHAT? That's beside the fuckn point for me. Plot who? I don't know Her. Also honestly like. Stories feel more True to me when they aren't ruthlessly devoted to plot bc like life isn't like that yknow?

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If you're not fluent in that language, get a beta who is!!!!! That said, I have written scraps of very simple dialogue in French using mostly Google Translate (sometimes I check w Sally bc he speaks French but I am usually too impatient), and I am perfectly well aware that I take my life in my hands each time!!! Also don't do that bullshit thing where it's in italics? That shit is weird and exoticizing. Just write it in quotation marks like normal dialogue.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

BBCS babey back in 2012. Ended a 5 year dry spell for me after I got my writing degree.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmmmm I think it's probably gonna be the fic I'm working on now that I haven't posted yet, but I know it's called Names for a House, and here's a tiny bit of it

Thanks again Shreya for asking me to do this bc I really love talking about myself. I tag @the-moon-loves-the-sea, @clytemenestras, @tomiano, @gaykagome and @totallysilvergirl

No pressure <3

[aprxl-showers]

klance x pirates of the caribbean

bc apparently when i'm upset i listen to newsies live and think up weird klance aus

in my head this could go one of two ways:

keith and lance as will and elizabeth

keith and lance as jack and will (i'll explain later)

a lot more under the cut bc i got a bit carried away...

if it follows the canon love story i picture lance as will and keith as elizabeth. (i could see it the other way around bc keith could be the orphan pirate boy but i’ve written too much to go back now).

when they were young, keith was on a ship with his father and he spots lance on a piece of driftwood. they save him ofc and keith spots a jewel necklace around lance's neck. he takes it and later has it fused in the hilt of his mother's knife that is now his.

keith hates being the governor's son with a passion. he hates the formality of it and how restrictive it is. lance is the weaponsmaster's apprentice (that's how he gets good with a gun) and he is always under appreciated! give this guy some recignition!

anyway, he has been silently pining for keith for ages. little does he know, keith kind of likes him too. a lot of mutual pining has been going on for longer than either can recall.

anyhoo, pirates invade the town and kidnap keith. he puts up a fight but in the end he's outnumbered and taken aboard the ship as leverage. he says his surname is mcclain bc it's on his mind. wink wonk. captain of the evil pirates is zarkon and when the pirates who kidnapped keith hand him the knife he realises it is the jewel that can break their spell. since keith uses lance's surname, he also thinks it is keith's blood they need to finish the ritual since lance's family are the one's who sent the jewel away with lance. but it's not. obvs.

lance, after saving a baby, watches keith get taken in horror and tries to call out but is knocked out before he can act. once he's awake he hears that there's a pirate who was caught in the dungeon. that's allura. yes, eccentric captain allura is a choice i am making.

lance manages to break her out of jail, thinking she is one of the evil pirates and he can persuade her to help him. she is not but decides to help him anyway in an attempt to retrieve her ship 'the voltron' from zarkon. the two of them go off on a quest to save keith.

meanwhile, hunk and pidge are guarding keith. they are new recruits to zarkon's crew after their other crew threw pidge out when they discovered she was a girl (silly pirate superstitions). hunk went with her. they are easily persuaded to help keith bc zarkon's a meanie and promise that they'll help him out when they make it to land.

lance and allura arrive on an island and find coran who is allura's closest friend and ally. shiro is also there. he has a peg arm (is that a thing? idk it's a weird mechanism but it does the trick). coran explains that the ship keith is on is cursed and they will be going to the mysterious isle of daibazaal to break the curse.

they get there and watch zarkon attempt to break the curse using the jewel (which he pried out of the blade) and keith's blood. nah, it don't work. they still turn into creepy looking skeletons in the moonlight. damn. he threatens keith and then all hell breaks loose bc lance shoots him. it would have definitely killed zarkon but he can't die bc... the whole undead thing, and in doing so all lance does is reveal their position. they fight a bit, as you do. keith gets hold of a sword and kills three evil pirates in about five seconds. lance falls a little bit in love with him.

in the midst of the battle, lance makes a deal with zarkon that he will stay if keith and the others can go (this now includes hunk and pidge bc they helped keith get free). lance is stripped of visible weapons and zarkon agrees to break the curse immediately. lance cuts his hand and drops the jewel into the chest.

then he grabs keith's jewel-less knife from where it lies beside the chest. zarkon, distracted, doesn't notice until the blade is buried in his gut. he dies. keith and the rest act immediately and kill any other pirates who don't surrender. keith kills an evil pirate about to shoot lance.

they return keith in exchange for allura, coran, shiro, pidge, hunk and lance's pardon. keith expresses his wish not to be governor in the future and allura invites them on 'the voltron' ship with her since she reclaimed it from zarkon. keith and lance then have a moment where they thank each other for saving each other's life. keith thanks lance for coming after him and lance confesses. it's all very sappy and they kiss for ages.

OR

lance is still will. i stand by everything i said about him in the previous version. his parents caused the curse to endure and sent him off. but instead of keith finding him, it's allura. she's the governor's (in this case, alfor's) daughter. she takes the jewel and keeps it as a necklace. lance and allura are more like besties but they're not really allowed to see each other because of their differing classes.

keith arrives and escapes the navy. hides in weaponsmaster’s shop. lance tries to fight him but he’s not as good with a sword as he is with a gun. lots of sassy banter where lance is tryna be noble and keith doesn’t care for it.

anyway, we sort of know what happens. allura gets kidnapped and uses lance's surname bc they had a conversation beforehand. lance stresses, hears about a pirate they captured, assumes it's one of the evil ones he can persuade to help him.

but instead he gets keith who he met earlier. in the time they’ve been apart he’s got himself landed in the dungeon. and he’s notoriously one of the most stubborn, grumy pirate captains in all the seven seas.

he's overall unimpressed with lance as a person and with his plan, only agreeing when he realises he might be able to get his ship, this time called 'the red lion', back. lance decides he's going to prove himself to keith. he doesn't know why he's so offended by a pirate's opinion but he just is. hmmm...

they pick up shiro and coran, pidge and hunk promise to help allura out yada yada yada and they start making their way towards the island.

they run into lotor and his crew (acxa, ezor, zethrid etc) who are unrelated to zarkon and that whole... thing but they're your typical pirates and they want their stuff. which is annoying af bc allura is missing and they have somewhere to be thank you very much.

they put up a good fight. lance has plenty of opportunities to impress keith with his pistol skills. consider keith very impressed and mildly enamoured. but he doesn't do feelings so he stuffs them down inside him as you do. they win and move on. afterwards keith asks lance where he learned those moves and lance tells him stories of his time in the weaponsmaster's workshop. they bond.

they get to the island and find allura. they fight and keith and lance save each other's backs too many times to count. lance has a revelation (inconveniently mid battle) that he actually really likes this. this is fun. this is exciting.

then keith fucks up. he says that he'll hand lance over if zarkon gives him his ship back. lance is fucking fuming and feeling very betrayed and hurt bc he actually felt like he was getting somewhere with keith. keith gets what he deserves though bc zarkon dumps him and allura on an island and takes lance away.

while they're on the island allura knocks some sense into him regarding his life generally and lance specifically. she tells him loads of cute lance-as-a-teenager stories and keith feels awful. he helps her light a signal fire using some rum he has on his person.

they spot the ship alfor sent to find allura. they persuade them to go to where lance and the rest of the crew is. keith tries to act like he's on zarkon's side when they get back to the cave and then he takes one of the cursed jewels so he's now immortal. aha! while this is happening allura has infiltrated zarkon's ship, 'the red lion', so shiro, coran, pidge and hunk can be freed.

allura then frees lance from where they were keeping him in the hull. lance runs to where keith is. they share a look. keith cuts his hand and throws the jewel to lance who does the same and drops it into the water. the curse is broken. keith goes to grab zarkon's sword so he can kill him but zarkon grabs him by the throat. lance shoots zarkon in the side before keith can pass out. he runs to keith who has collapsed. keith apologises and thanks him and promises not to betray him again. lance laughs, says he better not and helps him up.

they return allura safely in exchange for their pardon. keith asks lance to join the crew of 'the red lion' and gives him loads of reasons that are really just disguised compliments. safe to say lance kisses him senseless and they run away together, sailing off into the sunset. bc. klance. there's got to be a sunset somewhere.

hope you liked my what-were-meant-to-be-headcanons-but-just-became-plot-summaries!! i promise i’ll post some general pirate voltron headcanons unrelated to this au at some point. i wrote a pirate au piece for klance au month on my ao3 so some might be related to that?

if you want to send asks or whatever that would be cool - even if they're just random ideas for the au or changes/additions to the plot. i also might write little snippets for this at some point (i’ll tag them under ‘kl potc au’ like this post) bc i'm suddenly crazy invested so if you have any scenes from this you want (from version 1 or 2 or any scene in the plethora of potc movies) send a message and i'll probably get around to it :))

[nikkoliferous]

Phase One: Thor

Since I was looking up my past live-blog of the novel and realising how annoying and repetitive reading through it all is because of my having structured it as a bunch of reblogs, I’ve decided to organize it all into one long-ass post instead. In case anyone else wants to read it in the future. Or in case I decide to re-read it. Because I’m hilarious. 😅

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO

My Hilarious Yet Wrathful Overview Of Phase One: Thor, Redux

—

If your son who’s to become king requires a babysitter to not screw it all up and also the idea of him being king is stressful enough to put you into a coma, maybe, uh… reconsider doing that? Just a thought.

But you see here why Odin was so deadset on Thor becoming king, despite him being ill-suited for the role. It’s not about what’s best for Asgard; it’s about personal legacy. Thor is Odin’s mini me, and Loki is very much not. There are places within the text where Odin laments Thor “lacking his father’s wisdom” (he’s definitely inherited your humility, though, Odin!), but he hopes for Thor to grow into a “wise king” like himself. Whereas he holds no such illusions (lol, pun) that Loki will ever take after him.

now with tag commentary! #this scene is in the script and both novelizations #(though in reading this novel seems to just be a more complete version of the junior novel? #idk i'm confused because they're supposedly written by different authors but so far the text is identical) #and it drives me insane each time i read it

“Haha, I’m a warmongering piece of shit, isn’t it funny?”

I know, I know. I try to cut Asgard some slack for being such a militaristic culture because social changes happen slowly and when you live for thousands of years per generation, it makes sense that your views on things like war would be regressive. The text says Odin has ruled Asgard for tens of thousands of years (so much for taking Loki’s “give or take 5,000 years” line literally; sure, the Odinsleep would have extended Odin’s lifespan, but by that much? Idk).

Still, fuck Odin. Especially since he’ll eventually try to shame Loki for doing the same thing he’s fucking boasting about here. And on a much smaller scale too.

…is it, though?

I actually think Loki’s relationship with being the centre of attention is really interesting in its complexity and we don’t discuss it enough. I’ve said this before, but he strikes me as the sort of person who craves attention but also wouldn’t really know what to do with it if he had it. He craves it as a result of neglect, because he’s never been shown recognition or validation. This is why he seems to revel in it in Stuttgart, even in (or maybe especially in?) his brainwashed state. But he also frequently comes across as pretty introverted and has horrible self-esteem, so I think on another level, sustained, genuine attention would make him feel kind of uncomfortable. Loki seems to believe that in order to be loved or respected, he has to literally be Thor, though. And Thor has always been the centre of attention, so for Loki, attention is synonymous with respect.

I find Loki’s relationship with wanting attention especially fascinating because I too both crave and fear it. As a borderline, I need it. When no one is paying attention to me, I lose my sense of identity. I feel as though I literally cease to exist. It’s excruciatingly painful. And yet, I have no authentic sense of self; I’m just a chameleon, and the closer people get to me, the more likely it is they’ll see behind my mask. They’ll realise it’s all a show and that I’m actually no one. And then they’ll leave. I can’t help wondering if that’s how Loki feels sometimes too.

Wait, what? You mean goat. His horns are shaped like a goat’s. This is a ram: 

This is a goat:

This is Loki:

Do you see now? They’re like a goat. Not a ram. Not a cow. A GOAT.

This book was written before Ragnarok was a thing, so it may be unfair to connect the two, but it still seems worth noting that it was Thor who reduced Loki to being no more than a trickster to begin with. “You could be more,” my ass. Loki’s problem has never been that he was one-dimensional; it was always that the people in his life, including Thor, refused to see any other dimensions to him. Which makes those words particularly cruel—as if they aren’t cruel enough already, what with the physical torture and all. 

Always happy to have cause to point out that

Loki was on Thor clean-up duty their whole lives; he certainly was not trying to kill Thor.

People like to point to Loki’s attempted genocide of the Jötnar and attempted(-ish? lol) conquest of Earth as proof that he’s some kind of violent maniac. But in a little place I like to call reality, Loki was historically far less aggressive and bloodthirsty than his peers.

Question: why is one conqueror evil and the other is righteously entitled to ruling over the Nine Realms?

Asgardian exceptionalism FTW

I can’t even begin to imagine what would lead you to expect such a thing, Odin. 😂

Uh, ‘cause it is?? And also their planet is MELTING without it??

This is all only within the first two chapters, btw. Lmao

—

—

—

“Looking for answers,” my foot.

YOU WOULD THINK SO, WOULDN’T YOU??

#i mean unless you knew heimdall #he only commits treason on days that end in y

—

—

What’d I say? Thor clean-up dutyyyyy 

Just wanna remind everyone that this 

is why he’s smiling during this scene 

because it makes me laugh every time. 😂 

—

My heart breaks every time I remember that second excerpt because literally ALL OF IT happened to him when he survived falling through the wormhole. My poor boy. 😭

But also of note… Loki gets cold (and also does not like being cold). This interests me because 1) as many are aware, the prevalent headcanon that Loki has a low body temperature irritates me and 2) it possibly(?) lends weight to the theory that he may not be fully Jötun, whether by virtue of his birth or Odin’s spell.

Haha, look at this Feminist Icon™ trying to take credit for his female friend’s accomplishments! Truly inspiring. 

#for some reason the ragnarok lovers have somehow decided that thor is both a feminist and lesbian icon #whatever that means 🤷‍♀️ #and i'm still trying very hard to figure out why #is it literally just because he *says* he respects women or whatever in that dumb rambly conversation with valkyrie?

Ooh… you were so close to getting the point, Volstagg. So close. Take your tongue off Odin’s boot for just a couple minutes longer.

Also, the author just forgot the name of the Casket. How did this book get published? 😂

JUST LOOKING FOR ANSWERS, HUH?

Because fuck Loki, amirite? He, uh… he’s a prince too, you know.

Also… Fandral, you dweeb 😂

…am I reading too much into this, or did Odin just literally forget that Loki exists?

On the other hand, the author also seemed to forget Loki existed for most of this chapter, so who knows. 🤷‍♀️

lmao @ Jane immediately trying to convince herself she’s too rational to be attracted to a stranger 

Honestly, though, big mood. 

Just your periodic reminder that Thor’s sycophantic friends KNEW Loki was right and decided to throw him under the bus anyway. 

Just as I’ve always said: That was it. That was their ENTIRE rationale. That Loki *could* have done it, therefore he must have. Please tell me these people have nothing to do with Asgard’s justice system.

…lol, jk, Asgard has no justice system.

Ok, first of all, no.

Second: thank you, Fandral. You’re a self-absorbed cad, but also evidently Thor’s least stupid friend.

Thirdly, how…? First, it was, “Loki arranged all this because he’s jealous of Thor.” Now they’ve suddenly jumped all the way to, “All of Asgard is in danger.” What exactly does Sif think Loki is planning? He’s gonna, what… assassinate Odin and then sell Asgard to the Jötnar?

—

Please stop hurting me.

Just so there’s no confusion: this one sentence explains everything Loki did for the rest of the movie. It explains how a person who has been historically non-aggressive suddenly transforms into a warmonger. To prove himself a real Asgardian, like his brother and father and grandfather. 

—

…why did Odin fall into the Odinsleep in two completely different scenes in this book? I’m super confused.

Also, we really need to talk about how cruel it is of Marvel to keep forcing Loki to prove his loyalty again and again and again when he’s been doing so almost literally since we met him. And by “we need to talk about it”, I mean I need to tie Kevin Feige and co. to a chair and spend a minimum of five hours lecturing them on how poorly they understand their own fucking character.

Let’s just be clear here: they’re talking about Loki. They’re saying Loki, their LEGITIMATE king, is an enemy of Asgard, based on evidence so paper-thin it’s practically invisible. Just… please, let that sink in. Take a moment to appreciate how utterly fucked up that is. 

I’m sorry (not really), but Thor was so much funnier before Ragnarok.

This scene has always kind of bugged me. If Odin removed Thor’s powers, how come he can still control the weather? Confusing.

So what exactly was Thor’s plan anyway, before he realised he couldn’t lift Mjölnir? He was just gonna call on Heimdall to help him commit treason AGAIN, show up on Asgard against the expressed command of his king, and… Odin would just shrug and be like, “You got me, son! I guess I can’t keep you down. Welcome home!”?

…I mean, I guess that more or less is what happened in the end, but it’s hard to imagine it would have still gone down that way without all the stuff that happened with Loki. Idk.  

#look what i'm saying is... thor is not exactly a thinking person #no one on asgard is a thinking person #except loki but he's crazy now so he's also thinking somewhat poorly lol

Cool, Thor. Now imagine feeling that way for ONE THOUSAND YEARS and develop a little fucking empathy for your brother.

But you won’t.

You’ll brush off his feelings of worthlessness as “imagined slights”. 😒

Nice that somebody knows how the royal line of succession works, I guess… 

That sound you hear? Yeah, that’s just my heart breaking. NBD. 

First, they mislabelled it the Casket of Eternal Winters. Now it’s the Cask of Ancient Winters. Author must have been thirsty when they wrote this. Lol 

Look, not to nitpick, but this is not the recommended procedure when you see a storm that you don’t believe is of supernatural origin coming. I’m just saying. Lol 

Uh… ‘cause he is?? And your pals are committing treason AGAIN, Thor, so it technically is responding to a threat to Asgard. Just FYI.

Anyways, this is an important point that doesn’t get made often enough. People want to act like Loki illegally usurped the throne somehow, but even without the deleted scene that explicitly shows Frigga passing rulership to him (a scene which is, for some reason, entirely skipped over in this book, but whatever), understand this: Loki could not have controlled the Destroyer unless he was legitimately King of Asgard. The fact that he’s able to do so is irrefutable proof that his rulership is valid.

lmao you little shit

So… here’s my issue with this scene (and with Thor as a character): He always assumes that Loki’s acting out specifically to hurt him. That Loki’s entire life and thought process revolves around Thor. He does it in this scene, he does it in The Avengers… it’s just a chronic thing with Thor. Everything is viewed through the lens of Loki inexplicably hating him.

But that’s… just not accurate. Yes, Loki harbours a lot of jealousy towards Thor. But that’s not what’s happening in this scene. Loki is not trying to kill Thor here because he wants him dead; he’s doing it because Thor (and his friends) are getting in the way of Loki completing his ultimate goal. Loki tried to solve this problem non-violently, by lying about Odin being dead. It’s Thor’s friends who all but forced his hand by going behind his back and trying to bring Thor back to Asgard against Loki’s (and Odin’s!) direct orders.

For all the humility he’s learned in the past few days, this entire speech is still really all about Thor. About assuming that Loki’s doing this for personal reasons, because he holds a grudge against Thor for some unknown reason. This is implicit in his request to “take [my life] and end this.” It never even occurs to him that his friends are traitors to the Crown and Loki, as King of Asgard, is perhaps justified in pursuing them.

It also needs to be acknowledged that Thor’s apology here is hollow, even if it’s ultimately coming from his heart, because he has no idea what he’s apologising for. “Whatever I have done to wrong you” is not an apology. An apology addresses specific hurtful actions taken and commits to not repeating those mistakes in the future. Thor cannot commit to not repeating the hurtful things he’s done, because he doesn’t know what he’s done. Despite his best intentions, what Thor is doing here is actually kind of manipulative. He’s not addressing any substantive issue between the two of them; he’s just trying to talk Loki down. And it ultimately fails not because Loki doesn’t care or because he wants Thor dead, but because it doesn’t actually change anything.

Finally and only semi-relatedly, we should maybe at some point talk about the fact that Loki, who is stated to be a master tactician, has displayed a weird pattern of hardly ever being as lethal as he could be. He freezes Heimdall in place instead of killing him outright; he backhands Thor with the Destroyer instead of incinerating him; he, well… *gestures vaguely at almost the entirety of the first Avengers movie* Anytime the violence is even a little bit personal, he seems to hedge. Odd behaviour for somebody who’s supposedly super evil.

I’m sorry, I know I’ve pointed it out at least a hundred times before, but I just can’t encounter this scene in any form without taking a moment to appreciate how underrated and hilarious it is.

I also genuinely wonder how many Ragnarok stans who have accused me of having no sense of humour, have failed to laugh at moments like this one. Kinda feel like if you need to have the comedy spoonfed to you in the form of ass jokes, maybe you’re the one whose sense of humour is lacking. 🤷‍♀️

Let’s be super clear: this is not what happened. Loki did not betray Odin; he was betrayed by Odin. He did not open Asgard to its enemies; he attempted, misguidedly, to destroy Asgard’s enemies. And he most certainly did not commit suicide out of a sense of guilt.

I’m not saying Loki did nothing wrong, nor am I saying he feels no regret for the lives he has taken. What I’m saying is there’s no indication that he believes he betrayed Odin or Asgard in the process. Which makes perfect sense, because he didn’t. Everything he tried to do was for Odin and Asgard. It was misguided and horrible, yes, but it can hardly be classified as a betrayal.

The insurmountable burden on Loki is not that he did terrible things, but that no matter what he does or how hard he tries, Odin will never look at him with anything but contempt. Consider once more these passages from the very beginning of the book, at Thor’s coronation:

—

Consider that this book goes to great pains to point out that Odin favours Thor because Thor is a warrior like him. And yet even when Loki embraces that, even when he acts more war-like than ever before, Odin rejects him— just as he always has.

There is a reason why this moment is the last time Loki will ever call Odin his father. Because he realises once and for all that, no, nothing he tries will ever be good enough; no, Odin won’t ever look at him with pride. That is Loki’s burden. That is why he lets go.

The epilogue is really just two pages of making me want to vomit. 

There’s your party where Thor and a certain subset of the fandom insist that Loki was mourned. There’s barely an indication here that anyone even perceives his demise as a negative thing.

“[Sif] could see Frigga thought [Loki was dead] as well” also contradicts the tie-in comic for TDW, so I don’t know what the author is on about there. Unlike the majority of Marvel comics, the tie-in comics are canon to the MCU, so it’s a bizarre statement to make.

COULD YOU SMEAR THE DEAD* ABUSE VICTIM A LITTLE HARDER, PLEASE? Fucking hell.

No matter how many times I encounter this scene, in whatever format, I still fail to become desensitized to how disgusting it is. I realise there’s a good chance that whatever version of events Thor has been told was twisted at best; but how you can look at a man whose son has just committed suicide under any circumstances and say there will never be a better father than that guy, is utterly beyond my capacity to understand.

And Odin’s “you’ve already made me proud” line just feels like extra salt in the wound because, again, Loki let go because he realized Odin would never say those words to him. And yet they come so damn easily when it’s Thor.

Fuck this entire family so much. I think I hate them more than Loki does. Sometimes I wonder what he would think about that. How he would react to knowing that not only is he actually loved, but that he’s so loved that people are genuinely furious at the way he’s been mistreated. That there are people who regularly devolve into full-on rants because they just can’t contain how much anger they have towards the people who hurt him. I think he’d have a hard time wrapping his head around that concept, tbh.

Anyways, to end on a not-completely-depressing note, I’m still waiting for someone at Marvel to explain how Loki knew what Thor said in this scene after plummeting into a wormhole. ‘Cause he references this conversation as Fauxdin at the end of TDW. So like… ?? Did he steal Odin’s memories before he erased them? Because that would be… kind of neat, actually. And very clever. Not entirely ethical, of course, but it’s Odin, so fuck ethics.

WELP, THAT’S IT. Thanks for following along with my dumbassery, hope you enjoyed yourselves. Lol

[yaz-the-spaz]

So I’m new to the Ziam fandom, I’m a strong larrie but I also couldn’t help to notice that there was something between Z*yn and L*am too. Could you tell me about the tiger tattoo? I keep hearing that its an iconic Ziam tattoo and I’m a little confused. Also, do you think Ziam is still together right now in 2020 and could you explain why? I hope this isn’t a bother.

hey nonnie, welcome to this side of the fandom! and please don’t worry, you are not a bother at all, and we are always happy to have new members! please accept this adorable gif of ziam waving hello as your welcoming gift into the ziam fandom lol! 😊🌈

now onto your question about the tiger tattoo...

hooo boy, nonnie

 idk if you know what you’re asking because this is a BIG life-altering question.

BIG.

...are you ready for this? 

are you ready to die? are you ready to have your soul ascend from your body up to the gay ziam heavens for all eternity? 

i mean it’s pretty nice up here and all but you may just wanna get your affairs in order before you continue, cause once you discover all the ways zayn javadd malik has professed his undying and eternal love for liam james payne all over his goddamn body there is no coming back.

are you absolutely sure you’re ready?

ok, here we go!

so. once upon a time way back in october 2013 zayn debuted a new tattoo of a tiger on his arm. at the time it seemed like just another tattoo in a quickly growing long list of (random) tattoos, and went by relatively untalked about among fandom (at least afaik) for a couple of years. but THEN, in early 2016 zayn followed that tattoo up with the addition of the full title of his m.o.m. album spelled out around the tiger...

seems normal, right?

first off, notice how the tiger’s tail is shaped suspiciously like an L?

well, that’s not all that’s gay i mean odd or interesting about this tattoo lol...some have also noticed that the muscles of the tiger’s back quite remarkably appear to resemble the muscles of a certain boy whose name also starts with L 

(and no i’m not talking about louis lol)

but here’s where shit really gets real because guess what? you may have noticed that the letters of the ‘mine’ part are kind of shuffled in an odd/not really consecutive order to spell out the word mine in a way that’s clearly or easily readable...that’s because zayn’s extra ass arranged it specifically so that only the i, e, and m, are all directly around the L-shaped tiger tail, while the n is just off to the side like a lonely forgotten reject

by now you might be saying to yourself okay, well that’s not really all that significant to liam, and the L could just be a coincidence/not really mean anything, couldn’t it?

wrong again!

because once more, zayn ‘i live to be as extra as humanly possible about my love for liam james payne because i don’t know any other way to live’ malik made sure to put a little tail/extra line on the side of the letter ‘e’ to make it interchangeable with an upside down letter ‘a.’ 

now again you might be thinking i don’t know if that’s really intentional or all that meaningful. but look closely. 

there is clearly an additional connected piece on that e that cannot be explained away or mistaken for just a weird blot of ink. it’s not just an error on the part of the tattoo artist (if it was i’m sure zayn would have had it fixed by now given that he’s had that tat for over 4 years at this point) and there’s also no letter ‘a’ in ‘mind of mine.’ 

so why is it there? and why does it just so happen to be right next to the i, the m, and the L-shaped tiger tail. why did zayn choose to arrange the letters of the word ‘mine’ in such a weird order instead of a more normal/easier to read format like the rest of the album title? and why did he choose put those exact letters all near each other? because it’s intentional. and because it’s meant to have a very particular double meaning.

if he was going for just a random order he could’ve put those letters anywhere. but he didn’t. and more than that he went out of his way to make sure that that additional piece on the e was added and distinct so that it could very clearly double as an (unnecessary) a. 

there’s no way you can argue that all of those things are just coincidence or that the random letter ‘a’ means absolutely nothing lol. that tattoo was clearly meant as both an homage to the album and to liam (who the album is largely believed to be about lol). and the fact that the muscles seem to match quite closely to liam’s is a nice added bonus that just helps confirm that imo. (plus there’s also the lovely little tidbit of knowledge that the tattoo is positioned in such a way that whenever zayn wears short-sleeve shirts the ‘Liam’ part is the only part clearly on display 😏😏😏)

BUT GUESS WHAT??

THAT IS NOT EVEN WHERE ZAYN’S TATTOO DEDICATIONS ENDDDD

never mind that he already had all of us ziams sobbing ourselves to death and morphing into withered soulless husks over this tattoo after he debuted the full thing in 2016, but there’s so! many! more!

boy’s body is literally a giant ass open love letter to liam and i am NOT OKAY. (have i mentioned i hate these extra ass romantic saps with every fiber of my being? no? well i do. and you’re about to find out all the reasons why)

reason #1 - all. the. goddamn. mandala. tattoos. (there are multiple but i’m only linking to this post featuring/talking about the main one, i.e. the very first one he got cause that’s the one that kills me the most but if you wanna see the others peep my ziam tattoos tag or my zayn’s tattoos tag)

reason #2 - love & marriage poem tattoo (read all the posts in this tag starting from the bottom first for full context)

reason #3 - red wolf & bat wings chest tattoo

reason #4 - wolf leg tattoo (more background details here too)

reason #5 - liam’s silhouette leg tattoo

reason #6 - smoking lips hand tattoo (which literally matches the album art for liam’s debut single exactly and was debuted on zayn’s hand months before the single’s release - scroll down to the part where you can see the red lip pics)

reason #7 - the snake tattoo (aka the snake habitat tattoo)

reason #8 - motherfuckin 25!! idk what it means but it clearly means SOMETHING important to the both of them and it still drives me insane to this day and probably will to my dying breath 🤬 

bonus - it’s not a tattoo but: zayn’s nose piercing. which along with the mandala wrist tat is literally a desi bride declaration of marriage; fun fact - tan france, a gay married british-pakistani tv personality who is part of the queer eye crew also has a mandala tat on his left hand that some have speculated may also be to symbolize his dedication to his husband)

anyway there are more tattoos of zayn’s that seem to also be related to liam (though more loosely imo) but this post is already beyonddd long enough so i figured it’s best to just stick to the main ones/most obvious ones here lol 

(side note: liam also has tattoos that are clearly dedicated to zayn/his and zayn’s relationship as well, but that’s for another post and also if my recall is correct i think zayn might actually have more?? well that we know of anyway lol)

(side note 2.0: one other thing that adds to the theory of the m.o.m. tiger tattoo being a dedication to liam/liam’s name, besides the obvious lettering thing described above, is that zayn is known to have a thing for tattooing the names of his closest loved ones on his body. the only person in his immediate family whose name he doesn’t appear to have tattooed on him is trisha’s and i’d be willing to bet that’s either because she specifically asked him not to, or he does have one but it’s just in a very hidden place. but we know that he has his father’s name, grandfather’s name, and all of his sister’s names tattooed on him so when you combine that with the weird lettering of the m.o.m. tiger tat and the fact that the album was very likely about liam/closely followed the story of the beginning of his relationship with liam, it becomes even less plausible imo that that tattoo is meant to be about anything else but liam. ain’t science grand?)

(side note 3.0: zayn’s whole left arm/left sleeve of tats seems to be specifically reserved for tattoos dedicated to liam and/or related/connected to liam’s own tattoos, and there’s a couple of good posts here - x, x, x, x - that go through some of the more specific parallels between their tattoos and how certain ones seem to mirror or directly pair with each other’s)

ok i promise that’s it for the side notes lol!

lastly, to your final question, i do believe that they are still together currently, especially considering this most recent soft outing/confirmation from one of zayn’s songwriters (who is also not the first to do that either btw lol) but that is not the only reason - see my post here for some of the biggest reasons why i believe ziam remains real and strong :)

[gilmesc1]

Sacrificing my remaining braincells to the void

Ok friends, you requested it, you awaited it, I’ve cleaned out my ears to remove the melted remains of my brain, here we go, we’re doing this, tell my partner I love them. It’s time...for syscourse analysis.

So this is a very bare bones run through of syscourse, it’s as basic as it gets and if need be I’ll focus on components of it after I recover.

So, syscourse is literally the words system+discourse. Bet you guys never saw that coming. 20 seconds into this fucking mess and we already have a major plot twist. And I know what you guys are thinking. A bunch of traumatized people not getting along? Another plot twist!

Jesus I better tone down the sarcasm.

Anyways, what the fuck even has to happen to have syscourse, apparently two types of systems. Yes friends, two types of systems, and I’m not talking DID and OSDD (which are really quite similar).

Our players are traumagenic systems and endogenic systems. Traumagenic systems are systems that formed out of trauma, like DID and OSDD systems. Naturally this plunks me down in the traumagenic catagory, thanks to my big fucking mess of trauma. So we got that down, moving on to endogenic.

So an endogenic system is a system that supposedly split without trauma. No idea where the word endo comes from. Or like, what the fuck endo even means as a word like trauma. (Maybe I want to endo myself after reading a bunch of syscourse? Ok, ok that was bad.)

The biggest issue once you get down to it is who is the Real System tm, and do other systems belong in each other’s tags. This is the part where I’d smoothly bring you all to a good starting point, but *insert deity here* help me, there isn’t one.

Syscourse seems to be older than mankind itself mongrels, because I cannot find where it started and who the tags belonged to first. So for those of you who like to visualize, picture two dogs chasing each other’s tails, running in a circle, and that is syscourse.

So let’s break it down more. I, and I’m sure many others, flocked to tumblr to find others who experience what I do, that being traumagenic system stuff. Again, we have trauma that results in our system’s creation. And that’s all fine and good, sure not everyone gets along with each other but for the most part all us systems are vibing and sharing memes and posts.

Now like I said, to be an endogenic system you are a system without trauma, and to me this is a little confusing. Brains aren’t made to be multiple and I’m the clusterfuck I am because of trauma, but to just magically thanos snap a system into existence? That I have a harder time wrapping my mind around.

There are a lot of examples of endo systems, but the ones I’ll be looking at today are tulpas. What is a tulpa? Well at first I thought it was a ghost thingy that you get by thinking about it, (supernatural anyone?) but now that I look into it, it’s apparently a Tibetan religious practice.

So we have science vs spirituality. This spells disaster already for syscourse.

So to get a better idea of tulpas than I could give you, I’d recommend looking at tumblr posts on tulpas because I’m in sarcasm mode and not really in a position to educate about those. Long story short it’s a thought process where you can essentially create a second being that is similar to an alter, as it exists in a headspace and can switch in.

Now I said headspace and switch in on purpose, because that is where the issue lies. Endos and traumagenics fight about words like that, and who they belonged to first. Can an endo use the words system, fronting, ect when they are scientific words specifically for DID or OSDD, or can traumagenics use the word multiplicity when it supposedly came from tulpamancy?

Side note: Guys do not lecture me on words, I’m trying to give examples, sorry but I don’t have my words for traumagenics dictionary on me rn, that’s in my other hoodie.

The majority of day to day syscourse is endos and traumagenics “infiltrating” each other’s tags and safe spaces, and ruining everyone’s day. From what I have seen, many traumagenics do not want endos to interact with them, and personally I see a few good reasons for this.

1, mental illness is not a trend and DID and OSDD are very very rough to live with. With there currently being a lack of scientific evidence on the existence of tulpas, I understand how it can seem that some are cashing in on the “DID hype” and giving off this romanticized view of being a system.

2. People with DID might be looking for specific DID info, and having to strain through irrelevant topics to them might be heavily stressful.

3. We’re traumatized and random things can set us off. This is the internet and I think everyone is at least a little toxic, and both sides have said shit to each other, but when people get triggered its easy to lose control. Not an excuse, tis merely a fact.

I’ve seen endos post things like “all systems are valid” and it’s a nice sentiment, in my heart of hearts behind my black toxic drama loving one, I’d like it if systems could just get along, but on a topic as complex as mental illness I don’t think that’ll happen.

I’ve seen both sides say things that were really uncalled for, and there’s no right or wrong answer overall in a fight like this. Naturally I’m team traumagenic but as for whether or not I feel like endos are valid or not, jury’s still out on that.

Hear me out, I have heard the theory that endo systems can help deal with trauma despite not being formed by trauma, and I’ve met a few people irl and seen things that confused me. Maybe they were traumagenic systems who didn’t know their trauma, idk.

I really don’t want drama. I’m sure systems on both sides are good people but like I said, the internet is toxic. (btw I love you mutuals, you are all good people)

In my humble opinion syscourse is stupid. I think there definitely should be a discussion about endos and traumagenics, but like can we talk like adults and not be like “WE’RE ALL VALID UWUUUU” with a string of toxicity behind it.

That level of back and forth is dizzying and irritating, and quite honestly I don’t want to deal with it. This is me trying to be neutral and give an overview, but that’s hard as I am traumagenic myself, and I don’t really understand the other side.

That’s why I’m not going to say I reject endos. I need to figure out more for myself and since this does leak into my personal life i want to do it carefully. I’m open to polite discussions, but I really want to keep out of syscourse drama.

Another side note: Something I think that is especially stupid is the amount of outrage over users saying they dni with endos. It’s a choice for that person and it should be respected. Like how I have personal reasons for keeping discussion open, others have personal reason for closing it. That should be respected and not ranted about. There are thousands of tumblrs, find one that isn’t dni and leave those people alone.

Additionally, if any endos do want to talk I’d prefer if you dm me, as I want to keep my blog traumagenic focused, both for my followers and for me, out of respect for those who don’t want any endogenic content and for me so i don’t wear out my three brain cells (I’m accepting name ideas for them)

To end this, I don’t want drama, nothing makes it easier for me to cave to my vices then drama, and syscourse is so freaking tiring that it would be like rolling around like sandpaper to get involved.

So there it is, my useless, sarcastic post on syscourse. Let’s see how many followers I lose, and if need be I can look into more stuff about syscourse since this is an overview.

Again this was supposed to be neutral and not necessarily all of my views, I’ll get more personal on it later maybe, but tbh I’m too fucking tired for that rn. Chronic illness, hell yeah.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed, I’m impressed I wrote it all, have a good day guys, I have to go to a party while feeling like my body is leading a rebellion.

I don’t even like people, why am I going XD

But hey shout out to social distancing, I’m using my personal space bubble and NO ONE can stop me.

Ok, time to give the braincells a rest. See you guys

[anthropologist-on-the-loose]

Tagged by: I wasn’t tagged by anyone, but I saw @chaotic-archaeologist​ post this and wanted to do it too

Rules:

Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions. Tag 10 (or however many) people.

1. Doom Patrol 2. Stargate SG-1 3. Psych 4. Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood  5. Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries

Who is your favorite character in 2? Daniel Jackson, without question. This was my middle school show, and I’m pretty sure I loved it because he was an anthropologist before I realized I loved anthropology.

Who is your least favorite character in 1? I guess the Bureau of Normalcy? Idk, even the worst of the recurring characters are wonderfully complex or at least so much fun to watch.

What is your favorite episode of 4? Of course, the only show on this list without a favorite episode, because the whole story is so intertwined, there isn’t any one episode that stands out to me from the others.

What is your favorite season of 5? Really liked the first season, though I haven’t seen the last one yet.

Who is your favorite couple in 3? I know it’s supposed to be Shawn and Juliet, but Lassie and Marlow are just too good

Who is your favorite couple in 2? Sam/Jack was my ship back in the day, and I’m sticking to it.

What is your favorite episode of 1? Tough one, I think maybe Frances Patrol because that love story made me cry.

What is your favorite episode of 5? Framed for Murder. I think. Picking favorites is always so hard.

What is your favorite season of 2? Either season 2 or 8

How long have you watched 1? Pretty much since it came out, my sister and I share a DC Universe subscription and the stellar casting got me started.

How did you become interested in 3? Oh boy, well, back when cable was a thing, USA Network always aired good content and the ads for Psych looked interesting, so I watched it on and off as it aired. It was good, but it wasn’t until after high school that I had the time to watch the whole thing.

Who is your favorite actor in 4? Lol, I don’t actually know who any of the voice actors are, and most of them all did a great job.

Which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5? Sorry Miss Fisher, but Doom Patrol is just so incredibly different from anything else I’ve seen on tv, the acting and writing is great, and it’s so creative.

Which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3? Well, Doom Patrol only has 15 episodes and I’ve seen almost all 8 seasons of Psych.

If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be? Winry, passionate, badass, bio-mechanical engineer extraordinaire.

Would a crossover between 3 and 4 work? Not in any way that I can imagine.

Pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple? It’s kind of implied in the show anyway, but platonic Larry and Rita. They’d live well together, from the same general era, and help each other be better. I’m bad at romance that isn’t spelled out for me.

Overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5? They’re both episodic, but Miss Fisher’s has the more intense overarching love story. 

Which has better theme music, 2 or 4? FMAB, no question. Stargate’s opening theme is good, but it’s got nothing on Again by Yui.

Tagging: uh, once again, terrible at tagging. @peachdoxie​, @hello-tarpon​, @apostateprostitutes​, @bluemichikosan​, @beegonias​, @joyfulkitchen​, @tundrakatiebean​, @rcscool​, @surgeonwatson​, and anyone else who wants to do it!

[flowerclad]

desi tag

i was tagged by @lblis​ @aurtae​ @jinseas​ @2awake​ thank u my loves okay lets go time to r a n t 

1. What’s your name and what does it mean?   my name is Aisha, which comes from Arabic. I think literally it means “she who lives” but my arabic teacher says it also means like “lively woman” so that’s what i’m going with

2. Where from the motherland is you/your family from? my parents are from maharashtra - they grew up in a town right outside Mumbai and then moved to America 10 years or so before i was born

3. Would you move back to where your family is from, why or why not? i would love to visit again, and but I don’t want to move there permanently; my family and my life is established here.  

4. What language(s) can you speak? i can speak hindi/urdu, english, french and arabic (i’m not as fluent), i can make myself understood in konkani, and i can understand marathi. for the Desi languages  (hindi/urdu, konkani, marathi) the grammar escapes me sometimes and I can’t read anything except for urdu (and that’s bc of Arabic) but yeah

5. Favorite Bollywood movie?  i haven’t watched Bollywood in awhile but movies i’ll never hesitate to rewatch are Lagaan and Piku. honorary mention for kal ho naa ho because that movie broke my heart and made me aware of my own mortality when i was 6 years old and my older sisters had the audacity to laugh at me when i couldn’t stop crying #funfamilymemories

6. Favorite desi meal? my mom’s chicken salan....or her shrimp salan... honestly any of her food. pav baji, sabudana vada.. idk how you spell it umm shrikhand?? like sweet yoghurt, my mom makes it every year for eid. 

7. Where in the motherland do you want to visit? Rajasthan... my sisters got to go to Jaipur but i’ve never been on a long enough visit to do super touristy stuff. anyways it’s just seems really beautiful 

8. Favorite desi singer? Lata Mangeshkar, Alka Yagnik, Sonu Nigam, Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, A.R. Rahman omg my childhood askfjh

9. Describe your favorite desi outfit? i'm sure these are both super out of style now but 1) shalwar kameez with super balloony colorful shalwar or 2) shalwar kameez with churi daar shalwar and super tall high heels. Also lahengas in general

10. Can you make a round roti? i mean like probably but like... i won’t. patel bros readymade parathay exist for a reason. (im sorry)

11. Favorite Bollywood actor? I like Irrfan Khan a lot, and I enjoy a lot of Aamir Khan’s older work (rang de basanti, lagaan, taare zameen par, 3 idiots) rn i can’t remember any of the new generation of Bolly actors rip

12. Favorite Bollywood actress? Deepika, Kajol, Madhuri Dixit, Sonam Kapoor, Sanya Malhotra gets an honorary mention bc i saw her in Dangal and she was so cute akldhf

13. Favorite Desi in western media? Riz Ahmed, Hasan Minhaj sometimes

14. Strange superstitions you’ve heard from relatives. don’t whistle at night (or ever), otherwise snakes will come and get you. close the curtains once the sun sets otherwise bad things will enter your home. if you’re hiccuping it means someone is remembering you/thinking of you, don’t tell anyone any good thing that’s happening to you to protect from evil eye.

15. Describe your spice tolerance. I mean if we’re talking tolerance it’s high but like genuine enjoyment????? not much. my mom doesn’t cook that spicy.

16. Best street food. pani puri, bhel puri, those snow cones that come in plastic pouches

17. The weirdest question you got from a non desi person. how can i be muslim and from India. i’m p sure i remember someone asking me why i was eating beef if i’m from India smh 

18. How do you like your chai? milk, sugar, cardamom and cinnamon! 

19. When was the last time you have visited the motherland (if you dont live there)? when i was 11, so ten years ago :(

20. Your favorite and least favorite part of your culture?

favorite:  i like the sense of family and community in desi households. i like the idea that i can go to your house once and then call your parents auntie and uncle and if our families have been to each others’ houses multiple times i can just call you my cousin. i like the vibrancy and diversity of our cultures. i love how song and dance is just kind of ingrained into the culture. (My dad who “hates films” used to not go a day without singing his old favorite songs from the 70s and 80s.)

least favorite:  (copied from the post i made awhile ago) the desi community in general needs to get past the whole “let’s not stir the pot” mentality where individuals care more about what the community folk/relatives say about them than fixing actual problems and this includes silencing people that rightfully call out their bigoted family members to “keep the peace” or show respect to your elders or whatever. like it just means we’re settling into racism, colorism, sexism, homophobia, a fundamental misunderstanding of mental illnesses, and a plethora of other issues because desi communities prize their reputation and their ties to traditionalism above all like. and ALSO for Desi Muslims specifically, we need to stop pretending it’s the sanctity of our religion we’re protecting when we’re being homophobic/transphobic/racist/sexist when it’s really that deeply protected conservatism that’s been socialized into us okay B YE 

i’ll tag @kuraepika @winwinwonwon @gothlaws @sitaaras @kwnsyg @jkslibragf also if you read this far down and you’re desi i’m tagging you too k love u

[gaygay--astronaut]

Theories for the next Avengers movie

~If you haven't for some reason filtered the infinity war tag just know that this will contain huge spoilers for that film~

Fist off, Marvel how dare you do that to my son Peter Parker? I mean I know it will be reversed like duh but how DARE you?

Secondly, Doctor Strange how dare you give that stone to Thanos? I'd made my peace with Tony dying - I was actually counting on it to happen - and now when they do kill him off (which they will) it will feel much less impactful. Like when Loki died within the first ten minutes of Infinity War and I didn't care cause I mourned him in the Dark World. Like I'm glad he came back because Ragnarök is a blessing but the result on Infinity War is undoubtedly not in its favor.

Okay that out of the way: predictions!

1. Tony Stark will die. I don't want Tony to die (if shirts that said Tony Stark needs a hug were available I'd be the first to buy one. Actually if they are available please send me a link I need one) but at this point keeping him alive with do both his character and story telling in itself an injustice. He's had his arc and he's changed and there are not many new directions to take his character and still keep him Tony, and therefore he must die - permanently. And on that note:

2. The time stone will be destroyed. As we saw with Wanda and Vision, infinity stones can be destroyed, and for anything in the future of the MCU to have an emotional impact, the gem that is basically one big ret-con machine must go.

3. Captain America will either die or retire. Preferably to a farm with Bucky where they can act like the old men they are and get married because this is the 21st century and they can finally focus on one another. Yeah okay that probably won't happen but let a girl live. What I think will happen, however, is that they get rid of cap. Like with Tony, cap has had his arch and there isn't much new to do with him. Unlike with Tony, cap isn't driven by guilt and a desire to make up for being "a bad person" as he seems to believe he is (honestly he needs that hug), but because of a strong moral sense of right and wrong. If cap feels he can no longer help for one reason or another, he would stop, while Tony would go to any lengths to keep on being an avenger. So how would this retirement happen? Imo he should injure his spine is some way so complex that not even Shuri can help him. And because we need to change our cultural narrative around disability and because of who Steve is as a person he would take this in stride and not fall into any of those archetypal portrayals of newly disabled characters. Of course he should react realistically and for that they should consult actually disabled people. But once he has accepted the change he should be happy and help the team in anyway he still can, as a mentor or moral support etc. Also he and Bucky should have a cute little argument in a post credit scene about wether to get a cat or dog. Idk which one argues for which but it ends up with them getting one of each. From a shelter obviously.

4. Gamora should return. She just should. Take Quill instead idgaf

5. Hawkeye's wife dies. I know the "kill the wife/girlfriend/daughter/any female to give the male character motivation" is bad but hear me out. She dies, this gives Clint the motivation to return. When he does he seeks support from his old friend Natasha (who peacefully ended things with Bruce because they agreed those feelings were gone) and over time (and I mean several movies because a spouses death is nothing you just get over in a week) they grow closer and eventually get together. They'll raise Clint's children together and live happily ever after. Now I know this sounds like I just want my ship to get together but listen if this happens it's a reason to get Clint back into the action, stop Hulknat which I think only Joss Whedon ever liked, AND provide us with a ready romantic subplot for when the Black Widow movie gets around (which Kevin F-whatever it's spelled has confirmed will happen).

6. Doctor Strange dies. I don't like the guy so he dies. Also, the time stone and strange can perish toghether so. (Yeah I know there's another movie coming but like Wong can be the new Doctor Strange it can become a monaker of sorts fight me)

7. Deadpool shows up. I know I've gone over to wishful thinking but imagine Deadpool showing up in a mid credit scene breaking the fourth wall and dropping the only pg 13 allowed "fuck" and then flirting with Spidey. The next deadpoop movie is announced a month later titled Spideypool and is all about the two of them getting along (and no romantic stuff yet the kid is like 14 jfc they're just hanging out) one line is "if I were older would you... do you think it could work? Us?" "Work? Kid the only thing working in my life are my glutes, they're tight". A few years down the line when Peter is actually like 18 they meet again and fall madly in love sorry I don't make the rules it's canon now.

8. There need to be at least one non-sexualized lesbian couple. Bonus points if they're interracial (or inter species). I vote for once Quil is dead Gamora meets Hill and they become our space lesbian overlords.

[sunlightbi]

hi guys !! i promise i’ll do a proper follow forever later in 2018 when we survive 2017 but today i want to give a shout out to some amazing people whom i’m very proud to call my friends and best friends. all of my mutuals are extremely special but these ones mean the whole world to me as we always talk and laugh together and i’m pretty sure i’d die for every single one of them. i hold each one of you very close to my heart :’) so here’s a list of people that make me smile every day and also make my world brighter and my dash a better place !! (1. idk how long it takes im sorry i lov y’all 2. also idk why i have this summer pic as my header but happy new year i guess)

i’ll start with the most important person for on this website @alloutshirt. lisa, you’re truly my soulmate and i can’t even imagine my life without you now. you always make my happy by just liking random posts on my blog or tagging me in pure stuff. i just want you to know that i’d do anything for you, i care about you so so much and i don’t think i’ll ever stop. i hope you’ll always be happy because you’re too precious and incredible and you have my whole heart. i love you to the moon and back, baby :’) YOU’RE ALSO THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD DON’T FORGET THAT

@twofronteeth amal even tho you never check ur activity page and have a face like a goddess (no kidding im crying every time i see your selfies) somehow we are mutuals and friends, i still don’t know why the fuck you noticed me but that was the best day of my life. please please never change, you’re literally the cutest person i know and your spelling mistakes make you even cuter !! just the way you talk to ppl makes you cute idk how you do that. you truly deserved your nickname ‘baby honey’ and i’m very proud to call you that i love you

of course i can’t even imagine myself without Pure Squad even tho it exists like 3 minutes but !!!! these people are already so important to me that i cry every time we interact

@spaceboysweater arsh i swear i couldn’t love you more because you’re one of the purest people on this website. and ur laugh !!!!! oh my god this is the best thing i’ve ever heard i need it as my ringtone. i will love you forever, you always make me smile and i wanna hug you so tight !!!!!!!!!

@babieharrie ahhh karri you’re just the most adorable person ever and i love you so so so so much. we almost made it !!! almost started a gc aksjfgffkj. you are incredibly lovely and you have a special place in my heart even tho you hate cats which i still can’t believe oh my god

@rainbowsboa 1) where the fuck are you i miss you 2) i’ve never seen a blog with more posts than yours i swear i need hours to scroll through it. but bella you’re my sunshine and you always bring me happiness, i really enjoy talking to you and omg i just love you so much i’m sorry i’m crying

@bibi-harry becca i can’t even put into words how much you mean to me !!!!!! i appreciate it so much when you come to talk to me because you’re sad or feel alone. i’m really glad i can help because you’re too amazing and flawless to be sad ever. i just hope you’ll have the best 2018, i love you with my whole heart cupcake !!

@haryslytherin eleanor baby it feels like i’ve known you for ages, you’re such an incredible person even tho your blog is a mess aklsjkdh. i love talking to you, you’re a pure bean. please make more 1d edits in 2018 that’s a need for me !! your art is wonderful just as you :) also i hope in 2018 you won’t change your icon every day

@fireprooof le !!!! just as you said i can’t imagine my tumblr experience without you too (tbh that message made me cry i love you so much). you were one of my first larry mutuals actually and i’ll never forget how excited i was that day. and i was extremely happy when you messaged me and said you miss my likes !! that was iconique. your edits give me life, i’ve never seen anything more beautiful, i just want to make a whole sideblog to reblog everything you make.  hope you’ll have an amazing 2018, i love you endlessly :’)

@louieh ghadeer aka the most iconic fanfic writer i know ;);)));)) i know this had been a tough year for you but i hope 2018 will be much better !!! you deserve the best only, i love you so so much and appreciate you more than you could imagine. i wanna give you the world and the stars and the moon and everything pure in the universe !!!!! i just hope everything will be okay darling :)

@stylesappreciation flo even tho you forgot about me i’m still here like hachi bc i love you very much a lot. anyways !!! skldjdfbhdskl you’re one of the most iconic people i know and your edits make my heart melt, i cry every time you post something new. we don’t talk as much as we used to which is sad but that’s okay, i’d sill give you my liver and everything you want. hope 2018 will treat you well baby :) ( @nosuchblue take care of her !!! i love u too erin and wish you all the best in 2018)

@liamsgrammys and @blushlouie you just go together and i can’t tell you apart. we actually don’t talk but you two are the most iconic gays ever and i’m so glad to witness ur gay relationship and reblog ur gay selfies and cry my gay tears !!!! i hope 2018 will be amazing for you, i love you two so so much, this gay experience is very important for me

@rosesau syeda aka ome of the most popular binches ever. i’m shook that like everybody knows you??? wtf??? how you do that honestly. you’re truly iconique and i’m pretty sure you make everyone’s tumblr experience much better. your text posts are my favourite thing ever and i just love you so incredibly much !!!! have the best 2018 biatch

@honeyhaz jackie !!!! the most precious flower in the land, i adore you so much. i really really really love talking to you, you’re the loveliest person ever, i hope you’ll have a lot of friends in 2018 !! you deserve only pure things darling. you make my heart burst with love every time you appear on my dash and i would just like to clarify that i love you to the moon and back :’)

@iconichalo well your url just speaks for itself so !!! i only wanted to say that alex you’re really an amazing person and i’m hella glad that we met thanks to gorgeous people we both talk to. i hope in 2018 we’ll become closer because i really like you !!! wish you the best stuff in new year darling :)

@ann-fortunately maybe i’d love you more if you stopped exposing me !!!!! alsjddgdgdkdj nevermind i actually love you very much a lot, you’re a pure puppy and i just wish 2018 treats you really well. all the love my dear !!! (also pls make more edits)

@dreamsmp3 eden baby idk when you’ll see this but i just want you to know that it’s not the same without you here, you’re incredible and i hope you’re taking care of yourself !!!!! i’m still thinking about that post i made when i just saw you on my dash and i oliterally became so overwhelmed that wrote big ass paragraph about how much i love you on the verge of tears and tbh this is Mood. you make everything better and brighter and i just want to wish you the best things in 2018, you deserve the whole world my love :’)

@lwtrainbows gio !!!! i’m so happy that i’m friends with arsh’s soulmate aldjfhfgjn you are just wonderful !!! i hope you won’t ever be sad, you need to always smile and laugh because the world needs more of this. you are one of the purest people ever and i just want to wrap you in a big blanket and give you forehead kisses. i wish 2018 treats you well sunshine !!!!

@alwaysycu well rhian you’re just an angel (my-my-my-my only angeeeel) that deserves better, always better. you make my heart go ‘!!!!’ when we talk and you’re just so nice and sweet always. i hope you’ll never be sad in 2018, it just goes against nature tbh. you were created to spread love and light so i hope next year will be the happiest for you :) i love you very much a lot

@iamlouis oh damn sarah !!! (this is just The Mood always with you) you’re a popular bitch and i’m still wondering why we are mutuals because your cool ass is too cool for me. everything you do is iconic and i’m tired bc you’re too good and pure wtf !! but i wish you become iconicer in 2018 because why not we all deserve some glow up i lov u

@delicatelou pinja you’re the softest person i know !!!! like literally. everything about you and your blog is so aesthetic and beautiful and just perfect??? h o w. i’m friends with a literal angel what the heck !! hope 2018 treats you well, you deserve the best only my pure baby. i’ll love you til the end of time darling, you’re amazing :’)

@ftdtlouis @lesbianhoran @larriez @definegirlfriends i’m only mentioning you because you broke my heart to pieces !!! but it’s new year so i gotts forgive you so you could dissappoint me in 2018 with something new. ALSMJDHNDG JOKES I LOVE Y’ALL EVEN THO I WAS HELLA SCARED YESTERDAY i just want all my mutuals to be happy and fine. is that too much to ask?.. anyways i wish you all the best i hope the nest time this shit happens i won’t be online bye

@rainbowstyles sabine i wouldn’t ever forget about you !!! you’re the sweetest creature ever, so so pure and lovely that you melt my heart. you deserve lots of love and happiness and laugh in 2018 and always. i hope you won’t ever be sad even tho it’s impossible but you are meant to be a sunshine !! i love you so so much, please don’t forget that :)

@poshlouis and @louari you two are iconic bitches and i couldn’t love you more. amanda thank you for always being nice to me and aline ,,, just thank you. you are a dream team and i love seeing you two interact on my dash !!!! hope you’ll have the best 2018, i love you two very much a lot

i hope all of my amazing mutuals will have the best 2018, you darlings mean so so much to me, i love you with all my heart !

[occupyvenus]

Great post - "about why Jonsa of all ships is so bitterly thought about" and I think your really nailed a lot of the key factors, especially how the San/San people like Sansa, are more likely book readers and can accept the Jonsa ship maturely. There is definitely a pathological hatred of Sansa that drives the fanaticism against her being with Jon. You really captured a lot of the thinking (if you can call it thinking!) on a tv forum I've been following for about a year. People literally (1/2)

will dream up any reason to keep Sansa away from Jon. There is essentially a subculture that allows the Jon/Ary@ ship and the Jon/D@ny ship to coexist. Even kind of support each other. Dany might die and then Arya and Jon will raise the Targcest baby together. Pretty crazy stuff. Anyway thanks for writing so clearly on this topic. (2/2)

First of all … that was supposed to say FOUGHT ABOUT!!! NOT THOUGHT ABOUT!!!  WHY JONSA OF ALL SHIPS IS SO BITTERLY FOUGHT ABOUT!!!

I lower my head in shame, while contemplating my bad habit of never proof-reading the stuff I write. But as the previous anon so correctly pointed out my spelling isn���t exactly top-notch. Most of the time it’s honestly  p r e t t y  bad. If words sound somewhat similar, by stupid brain assumes they’re interchangeable. Seven hells.

Though I think this - Sansa being regarded as a side character or at best, the least important main character - also explains why Jonsa isn’t seen as a possibility by the general fandom, not just the radical antis. People look at the infamous original outline, believing that Sansa never gained any real importance as a character since then, like she was just allowed to tag along with the “real” key five (Arya, Bran, Dany, Jon and Tyrion). She was supposed to marry Joffrey and die at some point and the crazy folks think she’ll not even survive but also get THE MALE LOVE-INTEREST?  I suppose, to people who don’t realize (or don’t want to admit) that Sansa was “upgraded” to key-status (GRRM always includes her when talking about the most important characters nowadays), any serious theory that claims she could be Jon’s grand love interest sounds as implausible as if it was … idk, Arianne or Brienne or whoever. Those two are great and all, but Jon Snow is on an entirely different level when it comes to significance to the narrative. Why would he of all people end up with some puny side-character? Shouldn’t that “honor” go to one of the real heroines? Makes sense. It’s not just the people who actively hate on Sansa, but also those who simply don’t care much about her character. 

I guess you call this hypothesis “Why Jonsa of all ships is so bitterly FOUGHT about and/or not taken seriously”. 

I’m honestly not an expert on what’s going on between the other camps (ie the general attitude between J0nry and J0nerys shippers), but according to my experience these two subgroups (together with the Sansa/P€tyr shippers) make up the majority of devoted jonsa-haters and put forth the most obsessed ones as well. If I remember correctly, a few years back before canon!jonsa gained so much momentum those two groups weren’t getting along nicely either. There was a lot of bickering about who’s more important (Ary@ is grrm’s fav!, D@ny has dragons and all, so shut your piehole!), mixed up with some shipping wank and as far as I can tell (as I said, I have a very limited perspective on this. I don’t really interact with either group), that has gotten a bit better since Sansa entered the stage as another key female character. What do people say? The enemy of my enemy … 

I don’t think that shipping is super important to asoiaf, I care about the story first and was pretty indifferent to it before I jumped on board the Jonsa ship, but I do think that we’ll get one “main” romance between two “main” characters. It would simply make sense to me, Grrm was never shy about including romantic love in his works, even if it was never the main focus. Now, this will more likely than not end in tragedy, but since asoiaf can be read as a coming of age story for at least 5 of the key six, and settling down with a spouse and a couple of kids is one common way to end such a story, maybe that will belong to the “sweet” part of the bittersweet ending. Idk, anything’s possible. (Btw, I don’t count Sansa and Tyrion’s marriage as a “romance” for obvious reasons.) If you don’t subscribe to the idiotic assumption that Jon and D@ny are the “real” real main characters and assume that all six are of equal importance … why is shipping either of them (other than the biological siblings, perhaps, that would be a bit weird even by grrm standards), less legit than the other? (Of course, if you do subscribe to this assumption, there probably only exists one “legitimate” pairing in your opinion. In which case, no argument about this could ever be solved until finding a common denominator to this question of principle, so why even bother…)

If one of the male characters can be seen as the “romantic lead” it would be Jon (grrm even sorta confirmed this in his “fake” -lol- medusa interview), simply because Bran is just a kid and Tyrion, well some people will accuse me of ableism, but I don’t get any “romantic lead” vibes from him. Not because he’s a dwarf, because he’s the only “grownup” of the key six. So everyone can keep any accusations to themselves. I also don’t think that Grrm will stride away from hetero-love, to be honest. HE COULD. But I don’t think he will. That leaves us with the three possibilities mentioned above: Jon and one of the leading ladies. I think it’s rather inevitable that that will happen. 

But when it comes to the ladies … things simply aren’t as clear. They’re all similar of age, neither of them is closely related to Jon (at least, not THAT closely related), they could all work. I obviously don’t like J0nerys, but I can totally understand why so many people believe in it. I would maybe even ship J0nrya a bit, if it wasn’t almost impossible to find shippers who don’t hate on Sansa/Jonsa. And I would never call either of those groups “delusional” because it basically comes down to personal preference and a couple of other factors, most notably how you judge the future projective of these three characters. 

I also hate the assumption that J0nerys is the only pairing with solid foreshadowing in the books. I read the books a few times, all j0nerys meta I could find, plenty of J0nrya ones and, well, I don’t have to talk about all the jonsa-metas I’ve consumed xD. Trying to remain as unbiased as possible, there’s an almost equal amount of foreshadowing for all of them. I simply came to the conclusion that Sansa is the most likely candidate because a) I’m pretty sure D@ny will go dark and there will be a targbowl of sorts. She could just as easily be a love interest, as she could be an adversary. b) The age-gap between Ary@ and Jon is a bit too big for my liking. Especially at their current canon age. Also I love them siblings so much. And c) Sansa’s upgrade and the drastic change in her narrative must have a reason. Martin liking the idea of tormented pseudo-incest, and the reveal of Jon’s parentage making such a relationship “proper” but deciding to emphasize the brotherly bond between Jon and Ary@ and “using” Sansa’s character as the love interest instead simply makes sense to me. 

But I only came to this conclusion because I consider Sansa to be of equal importance. It’s more or less a precondition of even consider Jonsa, even more so to ship it in a canon kind of way. 

Now, to put an end to this little rant and get back to the original topic, D@ny and Ary@ stans regularly accuse Sansa of “stealing their narrative” or at least “Sansa-stans want her to have it all”, so it’s no surprise that they a) don’t want her to be key player and b) subsequently don’t want her / can’t see her ending up with Jon. There are a few very great posts out there dealing with the issue why Sansa is hated so much, but I think it comes down to (to get off topic one more time, because it’s my speciality)

Misogyny. Feminine characters always attract a lot of unwarranted hate (female characters and general, but at least on tumblr … one can undeniably see a certain trend), more so the ones who don’t take off their clothes. There’s this really nice post going around that as a female character you either have to a) be a sex object or b) act like a man. I would link to it if only I could find it. I’m not going to add much to this, it has been talked about many times. 

You can’t live vicariously through her. Sansa’s narrative often is … very frustrating. Nobody “wants to be Sansa”. People want to be the rebellious, fighting girl who doesn’t take any shit, they want to be the mother of dragons who goes around the world freeing slaves, they want to be Jon kicking some White Walker ass, they want to be the future three-eyed-raven (though Bran is seriously underappreciated by the fandom), they want to be a smart ass know it all, like Tyrion. They don’t want to be the girl stuck in situations she has almost no means of escaping. The sad truth to this is though, most people, if they found themselves in the same situation, “would be Sansa”. Most people aren’t active heros who fight against the unjust system all the time, most people aren’t geniuses, or brave enough to put themselves in harm’s way for the sake of other all the time. I actually fell in love with Sansa’s character because of that. (Though I have to admit myself, I was rather indifferent to her character for partially those exact reasons myself). It’s refreshing and a honest take on human nature to have a heroine who mostly has to resort to endurance and passive resistance. Mostly, not always. I don’t subscribe to “Sansa is weak and useless” weekly. Don’t get me wrong. She’s awesome and badass in her right, it’s just a bit harder to notice and appreciate. In this aspect she’s probably the most “realistic” character of the key six and people don’t like to read the truth about themselves. They wanna read about what they want to and could be. 

People are projecting. HARD. I spent a lot of time wondering why Sansa gets so much shit for her “evil deeds and traits”, in a series where people kill other people, shove children out of windows, burn people alive, rape a slave prostitute, and so on and so forth. And you know what? It’s easier to “forgive” those things because they are so absolutely horrendous. All these things are so far removed from our everyday reality (for most people at least), that it severs our emotional connection to it. Don’t get me wrong, we can still judge their behaviour, we can still emphasize with the victims, but we have no personal experience to connect to. But Sansa’s “villainous characteristics” (especially those of s1/agot)? An ignorant, privileged white girl who is mean to her little sister for being different, is caught up in some naive classicism, does stupid shit because she has a crush on some asshole everyone else could sniff out a mile away and always has to be so fucking perfect all the time. NOW THAT IS A “BAD GUY” WE KNOW! That’s a “villain” we all encountered in real life. To put this in different terms: I’ve never been pushed out a window for witnessing a incestous relationship between two people of high social standing (nor has anyone close to me), but have I felt victimized by my sister being the pretty, perfect girl, while I was the loud, unruly, unattractive tomboy? Yeeeeeeeeeeees. Have I ever actually lived through the experience of my elder sister getting nicer gifts than me, because “I would just break them”? Yeeeeeeeeeeeesss again. I grew out of it after elementary school, of course (okay, to be completely honest here, I might have still struggled with it during puberty, but thank god that’s also behind me). This also works the other way around: I have never been in the situation of “having” to push a kid out of a window, because it witnessed my incestous relationship and I, my sister-lover and our three children would lose their heads if he told anyone. I’ve never had slave master nail 163 children to crosses to piss me off. Idk, man. I have no idea what I would do. I never had to deal with shit like this. Who am I to judge? But then people look at the “mean” things Sansa did and go I WOULD NEVER EVER EVER. (though they probably did at some point in their life). 

Since this is tumblr, I have to note something: I don’t think this applies to everyone who dislikes Jonsa. I don’t think that everyone who dislikes Jonsa also dislikes Sansa. I’m not even saying that everyone dislikes Sansa for the reasons listed above. Before you accuse me of any of this, make sure you didn’t fall victim to a logical fallacy. I had enough of those lately. Those are just a few of my personal observations and conclusions, that I think, apply to quite a few people. If your reasonings and opinions are completely different, great, I’m not arguing, just don’t give me any shit about it.

So to draw some final conclusion for this long ass post: Jonsa of all ships is so bitterly fought about and/or not taken seriously, because a) Sansa attracts a lot of hate for several reasons, b) Sansa is considered to be too unimportant to be the “romantic lead” kind of main character grand love interest.

Shipping Jonsa is not “delusional” if you a) consider all three lead ladies to be of equal significance and b) don’t dislike Sansa. (Though since this is Tumblr, I might point it out one more time: This does not mean that anyone this applies to also ships Jonsa. This does not mean that this doesn’t also apply to people who don’t ship Jonsa. This does not mean that only people who stan Sansa hard ship Jonsa - I myself actually started shipping it because I staned Jon so much and I need my baby to be happy. Some people who fulfill both a) and b) might still believe that Jonsa shipper are “delusional” simply because it’s the common narrative of a big portion of the fandom.)

… Now that I think about this, the entire question could have been answered with the last paragraph alone, but you know how we do, go big or go home.  

[sonicenvy]

i got tagged by @itsthenerdwonder​ for this fun lil tag meme.

im a lazy butthead so im not tagging people except @lesbidar​ if you want to do it (bcs i tag u in like literally every one of these posts lol)

about me:

name: margaret

gender: female

star sign: aries

height: uhhhhh over 5ft???? i think

age: 21 (as of last week)

sexuality: ya girl is bi af

house: slytherin 

what image do you have as a background? boy are ur ready for this folks?

chromebook: sandakin.jpeg

acer aspire (1): space photo

acer aspire (2): my own nature photography

work computer: my dog back when she was a lil’ pupper

latitude: the stained glass window from beauty and the beast

iphone: carrie fisher/leia organa collage (lockscreen), space (background)

have you ever had a crush on a teacher? maybe idk

where do you see yourself in 10 years? jesus i have no idea. i have no conception of time so i dont like plan for the future all that well. ideally id love to be living in my own apartment, have a job that doesnt bore me to tears, live in an interesting city and own a dog or cat. 

if you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?

uhhh idk. id like to be in europe or back home in chicago i guess idk

what was your coolest halloween costume? ok so when we were kids, my mom would make me and my siblings our own homemade halloween costumes. we’d get to go to the fabric store and pick out (1) pattern each. so anyways once when i was like fourteen or something i decided that i wanted to be like a steampunk lady, so i found a pattern for that. it ended up being like $15 for the pattern and like $95 for the fabrics. im still so glad my mom was ok with doing that for me. probably because outside of costume time we didnt spend much time with mom so she ... just went for the costumes. i wish i had a picture of it somewhere to show yall but like i dont. mom probably does.

what was your favorite 90s show? buffy or tnaos

last kiss? neverever im a lonely lil wlw who is still scared of that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

have you ever been stood up? ok so i think i already told yall abt my fifteenth birthday party -- aka that time everyone that i invited to my birthday party ditched on it the day of bcs some other girl in my year was having a cooler party. so uh yeah. 

have you ever been to las vegas? nope. ive never even been to nevada. 

favorite pair of shoes? ok so i love all my boots right. i super super love my brown leather neiman marcus boots that i bought at a sale i worked for $5

favorite fruit? uh apples or pineapple

the stupidest thing you’ve ever done? i actually am drawing a blank, i do so many stupid things on the daily that like isolating one is probably impossible. i did one time spell my own name wrong in an email to a professor so that happened. also i took a data science course two semesters ago that was at 8:50AM twice a week. dont do that kids.

all time favorite tv shows: wow ur making me choose. thats.... rude. ok so listen: i love miss fisher’s murder mysteries, pushing daisies and brooklyn nine-nine so much even though i dont blog about them a lot. like im just so .... satisfied with canon in all of those shows that i dont really need fandom? if u get my gist. 

last movie you saw in theaters? i actually have no idea. i think the last time i was in a movie theater was in like 2016? i dont really like going to the movies bcs its loud, overstimulating yadayada.

[surveysonfleek]

746.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 47

4501. Who do you feel on shaky grounds with? anyone who’s acting suspicious or uneasy. 4502. How would you rate Stephen King as a writer? i’ve never read any of his books tbh. 4503. What movie are you looking forward to? ocean’s eight! 4504. Hulk Hogan with or without the bandana? i can’t even imagine him without one. 4505. Do you more often tell people what you feel or what you think? both, i think they work hand in hand.

4506. Have you been to see an opera? no, i wouldn’t mind seeing it though. 4507. What do you wish that you knew with more certainty? what the future will bring. or at least what direction it’ll take. 4508. Does your heart break and break and live by breaking? no. 4509. Can you tell the difference between what you think and what you feel or do you often get them confused? nope. 4510. Do you feel like there are a lot of referances in this survey that you are not getting? yeah, it’s lame. a lot of grammatical errors too. 4511. You are shopping in the Mad Mall for things to add to your room. Of the following list, what 5 things will you buy? lollipops, lace up boots, bondage gear, bubblegum machine, a miniature orange grove, house plants, Bob Geldof, duct tape, Buzzcocks, poet shirts, Marc Almond, Al Gore, acrylic paints, Snoopy's dog house, an original andy warhol painting, zippers, orange and pink matching curtains and bed spread, flash, oj simpson, a slurpee maker, some flutes, electric chairs, feather pillows, post it notes, the terminator wax statue, fight club the movie, fight club the book an original andy warhol painting, snoopy’s dog house, feather pillows, slurpee machine and house plants. 4512. Of the following things, which would you most like to have more of? drink, dreams, bed, drugs, lust, lies, hate, love, fear, fun, pain, flesh, stars, smiles, fame, sex bed, love, love, smiles, sex. 4513. Your preference. David Bowie or Marc Bolan? bowie. 4514. Who'd win in a fight, Morrissey or Robert Smith? idk either of them enough to choose. 4515. Earth girls are: what are earth girls? 4516. One of your friends tells you they are going to train to become a cop. your reaction? i’d be supportive and congratulate them. 4517. Would you ever consider working for the government? i would, they get really good benefits here. 4518. What are the best and wort television channels? i hardly watch tv. 4519. If you had a magicle pencil and everything you drew became real what would you draw? money!! 4520. Your boots were made for: walking. 4521. What movie would you like to see a mystery science theater episode about (even if it isn't a sci fi movie, just one that needs making fun of)? idk... 4522. What's the buzz? nothing. 4523. The last person you would want to be stranded on a desert island with is: someone i hate. 4524. Your partner takes an aeroplane trip. the plane disappears and is never found. How long do you wait for them to return before you begin looking for a new partner? i couldn’t put a time limit on it. i might not even move on, who knows. 4525. Soma animals that mate for life can literally die of grief if their mate is captured or dies. How many humans would do that do you think? it’s definitely possible for other humans to do this. 4526. What would you like to touch? the biggest diamond in the world. 4527. Does anything you own glow in the dark? nail polish. 4528. Would you rather ride a dragon or a unicorn? dragon. 4529. Do things just always go right for you? hell no. 4530. What's the best nick toon? hey arnold. 4531. Can you make a balloon animal? nope :( 4532. Would you undress at a nude beach? no. 4533. Wherever there's a secret recipe, there is someone who wants to steal it. True or false? i guess that’s the allure of calling it a secret recipe. 4534. What is today but yesterday's tommorrow? the present. 4535. Are you more like spongebob who does nothing right but still everything good happens to or like squidworth who tries to do things right and ends up having nothing good happen to him? squidworth. 4536. How many glasses of water do you drink each day? aiming for the usual 8. 4537. What is the difference between intelectualism and pretentiosness? being pretentious obviously just means you think you’re better/smarter than the people you’re with. 4538. What do you like in a poem, accessability, crypticness or somethin in between? i hate poems. 4539. What do you think of William Blake? Is his writing difficult to understand? never read his stuff. 4540. Has learning to spell become obsolete? not at all. but in this survey, yes omg... 4541. Who do you find yourself in constant conflict with? Why the conflict? me. 4542. What is the difference between literature and hallmark cards? everything lol. 4543. How many contemporary poets can you name? none. 4544. What subjects do you refuse to talk about? Why are you hiding from them? i’m open to talking about anything as long as it’s with the right people. 4545. Are you every parent's wet dream? ew, no. 4546. Everyone starts in the garden of Eden but no one can stay there. Why not? idk. 4547. Would you want to join a club that would have you as a member? sure. 4548. Greatest black and white film: i haven’t watched many in my time tbh. 4549: Greatest film three hours or longer: titanic, duhhhh. 4550. No means.. no. 4551. When you are exposed to the artwork (poetry, painting etc) of a friend, family member or aquantance how likly are you to criticize it? if i know them well i’d give them constructive criticism. i don’t think i’d bash the work of someone i didn’t know. 4552. Do you mentally reject people? Before speaking to them? some days i just check out i guess. 4553. Are we already living out 1984? no. 4554. Sing, now!  What did you sing? Can you sing? Are you the next american idol? no, no, i’m not american. 4555. Do you like the feeling of a ball point pen being used to draw pictures on your palm? no lol. 4556. Have you ever been airbrushed? no. 4557. Are you an alitist? What are you elitist about? lol let’s not go there. 4558. Are you arrogant? About what? i’m arrogant towards arrogant people, does that count?  4558. Use the two following words in a sentance: ghandi, ford no. 4559. Are you trecherous? no. 4560. Nam the ten bands you are the biggest fan of: Name the ten bands who are your biggest fans: no. 4561. Are you jolly? not really. 4562. What does the world stop for? nothing. anything could happen and in some places it’ll just be business as usual. 4563. Would you like to reapolster your furniture in camoflauge? no thanks. 4564. Would you rather have your own personal live in massuse or a new car? personal live in masseuse that also cooks haha. 4565. What were you born holding? nothing. 4566. Big nose, is it ugly or does it give the face character? depends if it works with the other features of the face. 4567. Name three things you would NOT do, even for one million dollars (tax free): 1 kill a human, 2 eat a human. 3 kill someone’s pet 4568. Who has rejected you? Who have you rejected? certain jobs. 4569. Natural body odor or perfumes and colognes? perfumes and colognes! 4570. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ss. 4571. Who frolics in the autumn mist in a land called honalee? lol. 4572. Is anything nastier as a snack than fruit roll ups? shit i guess. 4573. When you hear someone make a joke about something will you later make the same joke to someone else as if you had just thought it up? my boyfriend always does this lol. i hardly ever do it, i’m pretty forgetful. What if someone just says something intelligent, would you use what they said later as if you had made it up? no, if i repeat this i’ll always the credit the person that told me. 4574. What's on your pajamas? plain colours. 4575. Are people nicer in new york or california? i’m guessing california. 4576. Ever think about moving to Alaska to live as a hermit? i’d love to do it temporarily. 4577. You are interested in a potential mate who is already attatched. Do you encourage him or her to leave their current catch or try to find someone all alone? no way. i’d never try and break up a couple. 4578. Do you play in the snow? haven’t done so in about ten years. 4579. Do you save a snowball in your freezer to hit someone with in the summer time? no lol. ouch. 4580. What bible storiy would you like to see acted out by animated veggetables? What vegetable would play jesus? idk. 4581. Will you be ready for the next alien attack? the next? has there already been one? 4582. You can't make this easy can you? nope. 4583. What is a small thing that people let slide but that actually has dire consequenses? cheating. 4584. Are you the open window maniac? no? 4585. Have you ever been a hall monitor?  What exactly do hall monitors do anyway? nope, never had one in my school either. 4586. Would you rather wear an army uniform or a cow costume for halloween? cow lol. 4587. When was the last timeyou played tag, musical chairs, hide and seek etc? as a kid. 4588. Can you leap frog? i haven’t tried in years. maybe! 4589. What was the lost strong and clear emotion yo felt? idk... 4590. Are you more of a disco ball, a candle or a robot? candle. 4591. Could any good come out of a nuclear holocaust? i’m not the right person to ask. 4592. Are you an angel in disguise? no, i wish. 4593. Could you have fun with ajelly fish? for 12 hours? no thanks. 4594. Who throws the wildest parties? it used to be this one guy i know. and then we all grew up. 4595. Do you own an I <3 NY shirt? yes. 4596. If you could make a channel that played only one show all day what show would it be? the office. or the simpsons. anything with a ton of episodes and is funny. 4597. Are you a rockstar only no one knows it yet? no. 4598. have you ever been stung by anything? What? nope. 4599. Who's autograph have you gotten in the last year? no one. i feel like selfies with celebrities are more popular now than autographs. 4600. Are you enjoying this? no.

[ao3feed-danganronpa]

No matter what.

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2P2inEh

by Anonymous

It was a quiet morning for Amami Rantaro. An envelope that had a fate tied to it lying on the counter.

Not his. It couldn’t ever be his.

Words: 1257, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Saihara Shuichi, Amami Rantaro

Relationships: Amami Rantaro/Saihara Shuichi

Additional Tags: praying the bitches on twitter dont find my account, ahahaha jk jk im posting this ANON HAHAHAHA TRY AGAIN FUCKERS, Anyways, amami is sad, he is also very tired, Pre-Game Personalities (New Dangan Ronpa V3), Pre-Game Saihara Shuichi, Pre-Game Amami Rantaro, OKAY BEFORE YOU LEAVE, my brain was like, what if shuichi and rantaro both tried to end the killing game lol would that be wacky or what, and then i wrote this in like, idk two hours, the gc was having trouble spelling agony, this isnt beta'd, sorry - Freeform, SO, yeah that, they're still boyfriends though they love each other, Angst, Maybe comfort, Maybe - Freeform, tags later im gonna go sob in the shower

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2P2inEh