#? i just briefly mention it so
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he did it! 🐍 and it only took...uhhh...well, there probably could've been less punches, but why hold back!
PUNCHES FOR EVERYONE
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 9 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 9 spoilers#snakes#ONE MORE DOWN#oh my god happy jamil was SO scary and yet adorable all at once#i want real jamil to see him and just be utterly disgusted#and yet he got nothing on the return of everyone's favorite twst character: WEIRD RHYTHMIC ELEPHANT#oh weird rhythmic elephant what would we do without you#me kicking my stupid little feet as jamil wakes up through sheer force of kalim though#he was SO happy for jamil and SO ready to just go along with everything. my sweet boy.#jamil getting so flustered by him that he's just shocked back into reality#and the SLAPFIGHT#silver being like 'they need this' and doing his one smile animation as kalim and jamil are pulling on each other's hair and going YOU SMEL#mmm yes delicious#also this is probably nothing but#but...they brought up the whole thing with azul having dirt on crowley again#the thing that was briefly alluded to in episode 4 and never mentioned ever again?!#i had JUST finally convinced myself that i was reading too much into it and it was just azul playing along with jamil's plan#but now they've mentioned it again and i'm going to be all BUT WHAT DOES IT MEEEEEAAAAN for another three years about it#is it a meaningless reference to that one scene?! is it absolutely ridiculous foreshadowing?! am i ever going to be validated?!#I HAVE TO KNOW
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Happy 3/7day 🥰~! 'One day we'll look back on all these memories and smile about it'
Process + detail:
#my art#sasunaru#sns#sasuke x naruto#sasunaru day#sasunaru fanart#I'll post this for now since it's a special day~#but I'm seriously going to think about this whole art posting...#regarding ai and all#I mentioned it briefly before#but ai literally ruined the 2 biggest projects I was asked to work on#and another that I was going to work on#I had another opportunity here where I was going to get paid#for drawings somewhat regularly#but instead the offer changed to paying for my art#only to be trained for ai#so that didn't happen either#I shall not complain too much#I'm just amazed at the careless way some talk about it#because IT IS ruining lives and careers#ai IS already very advanced#:((
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Holy shit I love your Dirk interpretations, it's so true and I could talk about this shit forever. I feel like another part of his character that people seem to forget (along with Roxy for some reason) is that he's from the future in solitude in an apocalyptic wasteland. I just see that part of his character always removed which is disappointing because I feel like that's a pretty big part, especially regarding his themes around technology, his brother's theme of Time, his own isolation, and how he plays in the vastness of the universe and spacetime.
Art I drew related to the subject because I like to respond to asks with art.
But absolutely. I certainly understand where the lack of discussion over his isolation + upbringing comes from, considering a majority of the fanbase that I have seen builds their ideas based on their own version of postcanon. I’m not entirely sure how that would be fixed, but certainly even in the somewhat recent past I would see a lot more content regarding his upbringing both literally and symbolically. I don’t have much to add regarding the things you’ve mentioned, because they just are what they are. Dirk being confined to a singular room left to him by a father figure he never met, in a future where the only other person left on the planet is someone he cannot pursue a relationship of because of himself, with purely 3 robots to keep him companion, one being an exact replica of his own brain who is *also* trapped inside a pair of glasses, is about as literal as it gets to me.
The contrast to me involving the flooded, organic world in comparison to the little speckle of Dirk’s apartment packed with the dude and his technics is not only a representation of his isolation and entrapment within himself, but also of his lack of control. I think his obsession with & themes of control are a direct product in the case of Dirk specifically *of* this kind of upbringing. His themes of technology are also related to his themes around control. So much of his character is actually revolved around this to me like so much. Dirk is so deeply disconnected from humanity in every way and so much of his character + symbolism is based around that.
It doesn’t even have to be about the symbolism or anything though. It’s just pretty *interesting* in the literal sense that he lives in the middle of the ocean in the future. There’s not only a lot to theorise on to do with his young life there, but on how it might affect him in the way he acts for the rest of his life. The latter part is probably what I see mentioned the most by people talking about Dirk regarding this, I’m surprised I don’t see more discussion on the former too though. I really ought to actually talk more about Homestuck stuff on here. I will do it myself.
Roxy & Dirk’s relationship is largely ignored though because there is a narrative a certain demographic spreads that Dirk resented and blamed Roxy for her interest in him, and thus too many people believe that their relationship was or would continue to be an abusive one. Realistically, I believe it’s important to acknowledge that the way Roxy treated Dirk regarding his homosexuality wasn’t right while still acknowledging the obvious amount of respect and admiration Dirk had for Roxy. I mean we have a huge piece of dialogue from their post trickster mode conversations on the quest beds from Dirk purely stating how he feels about Roxy that people completely ignore somehow. I think this usually happens to characters that are women though. I know everyone says it, but it is true. Jane gets the exact same treatment of boiling her down to solely her negative aspects. The things I see completely mischaracterising both of them are horrific.
I mean how much more explicit can it get that their relationship is obviously very important to Dirk? But I digress. I think the best or I should say “most interesting” interpretations of their relationship usually come from DirkRoxy shippers actually.
I would be interested to hear about Dirk’s relation to his brother’s theme of time though. I don’t have any thoughts on this and I don’t recall ever hearing anyone talk about it before. If you or anyone else would be willing to enlighten me I’d be thrilled.
#homestuck#homestuck fanart#hs fanart#dirk strider#blooby posting#ask#Sorry for taking so long to reply to you on this. I’ve been in more of a drawing than a speaking mood lately#which is very unusual for me. This is definitely not as much of a post as it could be but I’m still not back on my thought and speech game#I know the Roxy mention was in brackets but good lord the treatment Roxy gets from fanbase is insane. Couldn’t help myself#Sorry if anything is worded badly. I’m tired per usual#I think (with no malice in my heart) people just tend to leave out what they don’t like about characters though.#I was very briefly talking with Pomme johnegbertirl#and it got me thinking about how far a lot of people’s interpretations of characters stray from what would be realistic to canon#based on their own biases. Which I guess I probably do too to a certain degree.#I’m not one to judge people for their characterisations at all#I tend to be very forgiving when it comes to reads#but… I admit that is indeed a little disappointing to see how completely ignored some parts of his characters are.#Sorry for tangent that is tenuously related. It is relevant enough to shove haphazardly into tags#I’m glad you like my Dirk ramblings though. Thanks brother#We live on
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Pleaseeee I need the live stream audience’s (and their fbi agent) reaction to Steve pulling the nail bat out to defend Ozzy’s honour. The series is so amazing thank you for giving it to us!
Considering the fact that Eddie got Steve to sit down on the bed, kissed his forehead, and then left Steve, Ozzy, and the live-stream to go ‘talk’ to Dan, the unanimous reaction among the chat was, what the actual fuck.
Steve, mindless to the live-stream, flops back on the bed with a loud sigh and doesn’t even complain when Ozzy, still wet from what little time he had in his pool, jumps up on the bed next to him. Steve ruffles Ozzy’s wet fur and tells him, “You deserve nice things, buddy. If an asshole breaks your things, you have every right to break their face. That’s justice, right?”
Ozzy puts his paw on Steve’s chest and Steve nods, “You get me.”
Meanwhile, the chat is blowing up with people being like ‘adorable’ and ‘cute’ and ‘I wish he’d pet me like that’ while other people who aren’t incurably horny are just like, ‘are we going to talk about the bat? Why the fuck does that thing exist? Why does it look used? Why is it being wielded by a middle school teacher with fucking ease???’
“He’s a jock,” Eddie answers. “Of course, he has a bat. All jocks have bats.”
‘NOT WITH NAILS IN IT’ The chat explodes.
“Home security?” Eddie tries with a shrug. “I’ve been trying to get him to GET RID OF IT for decades now.”
Steve doesn’t even lift his head when he says, “I got rid of my axe.”
“You had your axe taken away from you,” Eddie replies because that was true. After the gates were officially closed, the government confiscated everything that so much as breathed in the direction of the Upside Down. Both Steve’s axe and Eddie’s sweetheart were taken.
The only reason the nail bat survived was because the government didn’t know it existed.
A couple days later when half his live-stream chats are still filled with people being like ‘why was he so comfortable holding it?’ and ‘this is a prop from a music video, right?’ and ‘please answer or I’m going to actually die,’ Eddie does provide an answer. He says, “Try googling Hawkins, Indiana. I think that’ll answer all of your questions.”
It does not.
It actually asks a lot more questions.
The introduction of the somewhat-alluded-to-before nail bat to the Steddie Conspiracy Forums causes absolute chaos. No one can agree on anything. It validates so many theories and creates dozens more especially when Steve lets it slip in the background of another live-stream that Jonathan actually made the bat and Steve just never gave it back.
Meanwhile, the only benefit to Steve’s particular brand of shitty parents is that he learned how to girlboss gaslight gatekeep from absolute pros. Anytime one of his students asks him about the nail bat, Steve acts like he has no idea what they’re talking about. He has literally never heard of such a thing, “Like the animal? Their fingernails?”
As for their agent.
Their reaction was heard across all the office cubicles in the basement of the building. Just a loud, disbelieving, “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?”
#Ozzy: *putting his paw on Steve’s chest to say stop acting this way*#Steve: *interpreting it to mean what he wants it to mean*#I like to think that nail bat is in the Hawkins File but is unconfirmed because the FBI could never find it#It's mentioned briefly during Dustin and Lucas' debriefing in 1984 but the FBI didn't give enough of a shit about Steve to#check under his bed for the bat so Steve just kept it. The same thing happened with Nancy's gun from season 2#But his axe was taken while they were being decontaminated after going into the Upside Down. Steve's still bitter about it#eddie munson tiktok saga#eddie munson#steve harrington
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It's This Moment (or Nothing)
One of the biggest things that I have run into over the past day with Blink, Gone is the way that it feels incomplete and that is something I still stand by. This could be something completely purposeful, meant to illustrate that the round wasn't ever going to be a legitimate competition anyways, intended from the beginning as a lure for Hyuna and Mizi, to add extra emotional effect to the cliffhanger, or perhaps it really is one half of a wider whole (in a more localized sense than it being one part of the whole series, anyways). I don't really know which I think is more likely, at this point, because I'm not sure enough about any of my theories on that front to make real predictions. I still believe that Mizi will end up on her own when this all finished, all of the people she ever loved dead and gone, the bodies littered at her feet.
With the "special guests" I presume that Hyuna and Mizi will be forced to go up against each other. My friend Zen, (@verdantlights) said that hy thinks that it'll end up being a Hyunaluka round where Hyuna is set to win and then a Hyunamizi round where Hyuna is set to lose (edited because i got the order wrong and zen corrected me lmao). I agree with the idea that, at this point, it's damage control. They successfully lured Mizi (and by extension, Hyuna) in with Till, killed Till and now they're going to make their hostages perform for their lives, as is their brand.
One of the most interesting parts of Blink Gone, for me, is how this was presumably all planned from the start. Zen mentioned something that made me realize this yesterday, that this is the 50th season of Alien Stage. There's no way they would let it get this rowdy with rebels and disrupted rounds unless they were letting it happen, because it was planned from the start, because they were trying to tie up loose ends (Hyuna). Not only that but this round in particular was undoubtedly planned from the beginning, with the amount of preparation that went into it (the giant billboards of Ivan, the chanting of the crowd, the song itself). Till was ranked 2, it was always going to end up this way, Luka's superiority reinforced and his opponent dead on the floor. (btw I'm coming back to Luka. There's gonna be another fucking post just you wait). The way that they used Till's triggers against him, they drugged both of the performers but only gave Till enough to last him halfway through, forced Till to perform against Luka right after Round 6, where he lost one of the people in his life that was most important to him, and then rubbing salt into his horrible fresh wounds.
This is also one of the only rounds where Mizi is one of the POV characters that we have no mentions of Sua, at all. Perhaps that's merely because Mizi wasn't the focus and by extension, neither was Sua, but in another way, you could argue that it's because someone else was busy haunting the narrative: Ivan.
It kinda fucking hurts that the only way we really got to see Ivan was two ways- a direct flashback to the kiss from CURE, a explicit representation of the trauma that Ivan left Till with, and the billboards/Luka manipulations where he mimics Ivan in order to get Till on the back foot. And the thing is, it works. Ivan, despite his every intention otherwise, has become a trauma for Till, the way he thought he never could. To a degree, I was happy about this, because it proved Ivan wrong, that he would just be forgotten in a blink, but it hurts as well, because him only being used as a weapon against Till only reinforces his beliefs about himself that he is a monster and a negative impact on others. He would view himself being used against Till as a bad thing, that he hurt Till when he never intended to, rather than seeing it for what it is- an explicit sign that he was far more important to Till than he previously thought.
(Also something driving me up a wall right now is the way that one of my friend's described the lyrics of Blink, Gone as being in reference to the way that one moment Ivan was there, and the next he was gone, because Till took advantage of Ivan's presence and didn't know how much he needed it until it was gone and I'm sorry I'm going to go scream some more now.)
One thing I've talked about with friends a lot the past day is the way that, if Till is truly dead, then what was Ivan's character even for? And while narratively, it wouldn't make sense to kill TIll here with all of the potential he has and where his arc is going, one thing that @pwippy pointed out to me is how it makes a lot of sense thematically. Alien Stage is a universe full of suffering and pain for humans, forced to perform until they literally die on stage, all for the entertainment of the audience. It's not even meant as a way of exerting control or oppressing them, though it serves that purpose, because why would the seygein bother to oppress something that can't even fight back? Why go to the trouble of controlling something that is just a pet, whose cries are the fuel for a new age?
For Till to die now, reaching out for this glimmer of light when he is an animal caged, surrounded by enemies and bombarded with triggers of his suffering and pain, it would only be fitting. Another confirmation that life isn't fair, especially not in a system that is actively working against you and your attempts at happiness. Yet another sign that none of them were supposed to live very long, that even if they won, they wouldn't be around for much longer anyways. Now, it wouldn't necessarily be in character for Till, as he wants to live and he wants to fight, but he got to see one of the people he loved most in his dying moments, just like Sua and Ivan did. (Thank you this post for grabbing me by the throat and squeezing). In this world of pain and suffering, perhaps death is a mercy. If Till is truly dead, then he no longer a tool for his oppressors, he is free of their control. For Ivan and Sua both of their deaths were mercies to them- Ivan was able to die for the one he loved, as was Sua, and neither of them were forced to live in a world without their beloved.
So, while it might not be in character for Till to die, it makes sense within the themes and the established mechanisms of the universe, and it hammers home just how much more Mizi has to lose, even at this point where she thinks she's lost it all.
Mizi, who at the beginning, was the only one of these characters filled with innocence and hope, Mizi, the apparent protagonist of this story- at the end, she will be alone and she will know the true lengths of cruelty, with all that which she has ever loved destroyed.
#basically i think it's just as likely for till to be alive as he is to be dead! would i like it if he were alive? yes#would i be fine with him being dead as long as we got some more content around that? also yes#feel free to yell at me in the tags because this might be stinky as hell! i've only had coffee and eaten a protein bar today lmao#i am high off of desperation franticness and a general sense of unease 👍 it's great dw about it#also thank you for being my friend Zen i am sorry to mention you so much we've just been chatting a lot#alien stage#alnst#alnst till#alnst luka#alnst mizi#alnst analysis#alnst round 7#alnst spoilers#alnst ivan#alnst sua#alnst hyuna#since they're mentioned and touched upon (if briefly)#rocktalks
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coelacanter + socials
#amy mentioned that devyn's mullet was like someone chewed on it and the troll doll imagery would not leave me#infamous#infamous if#marlow locke#coelacanter#kaced#fake social media#i dont want to HEAR how out of touch i am i dont use instagram or twitter i had to guess at syntax/usernames#also the cropping for the group photo ended up so strangely with the instagram post format i ended up going with so i just#worked it into the comments section. same with iris' outfit i realized way too late she should've had something fancier </3#i thought rowan would be the type to point out something like that. he'd have a choice instagram with pictures cropped and edited perfectly#iris posts a photo of her and devyn and he'll comment 'very cute. were you asleep when picking this filter though or..?'#also i know this is funny to genuinely no one else but i briefly debated having maya make the fan name “the canners”#as if the band name was “can't-er” not “canter”#(they're just 'fishies') but i wanted to incorporate it somehow hence the gc name and that one fan's username#coelacanter? no. we coelacan... ner <3
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Finally, the last part of my drawings of @indieyuugure's humanized turtles, and this one's a double serving!
Here're Raph and Mikey :)
I managed to carve out some time this evening/night (Finnish time) for more fanart of a fanfic I'm obsessed with.
Part 1, Donnie Part 2, Leo
#mimjan draws#mimjan draws fanart#tmnt 2012#tmnt 2012 fanfic#tmnt 2012 raph#tmnt 2012 mikey#the mutation situation#so... remember how i briefly complained about how i didn't really have a concrete idea of what i wanted for leo?#yeah... so it was kinda even worse for raph.#but it's fine.#similarly; remember how i mentioned percy jackson? also in leo's tags.#mikey's sketch looked EVEN MORE like percy to me than leo when i sketched him.#he still even kind of looks like him in my drawing. but that can also just be me.#i also know raph's tank top technically wasn't low-cut. but i wanted to show his scar so who cares.#we're ignoring my vietnam flashbacks from my 'four swords' manga days i got while drawing raph - manga blue link is seriously just raph fr.
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hmm. if and when we get phillip featuring more heavily in a future knives out movie I really hope there's a fully realised version of the moment in glass onion where a woman is coming onto blanc and he's doing the whole trying to be a gentleman about this, ohh I'm flattered but.... and then phillip "get straight to the point" nolastname steps in and says something like "I'm afraid he's otherwise engaged", and then blanc introduces phillip as his Partner and THEN they have to do the whole runaround where everyone thinks "engaged" means too busy with work and "partner" means investigative partner but what they actually mean is gay partner and engaged as in Engaged to be Married. the perfect reversal of the many generations of people mistaking platonic partnerships as gay couples For Funnies in this kind of genre. the anti-bbc sherlock, if you will
#i just think it would be hilarious and also we deserve it. everyone keep a close eye on hugh grant in the next year or so guys#i am also ok if we dont see phillip ever again or only very briefly or get mentions of him cuz i know the focus is not blanc himself#but i do think this concept has potential. maybe they are genuinely on holiday together and then get dragged into a murder mystery. yknow#theres so many ways they could do it#knives out#glass onion
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I’ve gone on and on about how Leo wants to be who Splinter finds is the ideal person (which just so happens to be Splinter’s ideal version of himself) but I have yet to really touch upon how Donnie is the one who most directly parallels Splinter himself to an honestly shocking degree, Raph’s taking from Splinter’s teachings and parenting has resulted in an unhealthy mixup in the different dynamics of a family versus a team, and Mikey is the one who is simultaneously the most focused on family and the most intrinsically himself which both leads to his better grasp of mystics and honestly what just might be the healthiest dynamic with Splinter.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#it’s late so I’m just speaking from the top of my head haha#anyway yeah#the Donnie Splinter parallels are crazyyy tho#I always see ppl say Leo is just like splinter but no Leo WANTS to be like splinter but he’s more a Karai#meanwhile Donnie exhibits many of Splinter’s traits and behaviors#basically Leo has taken on many perceived Lou Jitsu attributes#including his stance his most flaunted skills and his overall demeanor#while honestly being more of a quiet and determined soul at his core that is most like Karai - with the same hope and love for family#we see the more Karai aspects of Leo throughout the series but most blatantly with Future Leo’s portrayal and how Casey Jr talks about him#Donnie though - rather than Lou Jitsu he has many Hamato Yoshi attributes#it’s funny too because Donnie ALSO parallels Draxum in many ways#(you know who else does albeit to a much lighter extent? Mikey)#make no mistake I super wanna get into Raph having a hard time separating team and family and just sorta jumbling them together#but that mindset can be unhealthy!#SHOULD I GET INTO HOW RAPH ALSO PARALLELS HAMATO SHO IN SOME WAYS AS WELL AS ATSUKO#not to mention his direct parallels to OROKU SAKI HIMSELF#and Mikey - I actuallly have a touched briefly upon how his individuality and sense of self has led to his greater control of mystics#but I do think it’s interesting that he has arguably a more healthy relationship with splinter than the others as well?#idk it’s late#and I may be talking about nonsense BUT#I gotta stop here bc I’m very sleepy but I���ll probably be back in these tags rambling more later lol#would just like to add that splinter loves them all very much he is just a flawed and depressed man with a lot of untapped trauma#which unfortunately ends up affecting his boys to different degrees
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I finally have some free time to draw sketches and tell you about my headcannons with (young) Harvey and Dr. Stone!! 💥💥
The first headcanon: Harvey really likes to touch Stone's funny sticking-out hair with his antennae (I have no idea what to call it lol). OF COURSE, Dr. Stone gets angry, and Harvey just giggles and watches him—
The second headcanon: I thought it would be funny if Dr. Stone had (and maybe still has) a secret hobby of collecting minerals and stones. it's pretty funny that a sullen and angry dude collects and examines all sorts of stones, and then writes something in his book, muttering something under his nose. if Harvey somehow found out about his husband's hobby, he could throw him beautiful stones while he was going somewhere.
The third headcanon: Harvey loves hugging Dr. Stone very much, when he does this, this old fart immediately starts to get angry and swear, but after 15-20 minutes calms down and falls asleep. maybe Harvey does this on purpose so that his husband at least sometimes gets a full sleep
(not) Old people,,,,
#Not really old fards...#Thembs existing (Real) HSHDHDJJD#To Harvey his antennae are silly lil things- but sometimes pokes someone with em as a form of smooch/doting someone#Loving husbambs...#Also the two lil things sticking up stone's head is technically a dreadlock versions of cowlicks lmAO#Though it would most likely either be due to being cut very small- or just folded and tied to achieve the look#But that's for the human version anyway muppet vers dont need reasons lmAo#FUNFACT I never really talked about it and just mentioned it briefly-#But stone has a rock named “grandson” with googly eyes on it#He uses it mostly to mock frank with it on how his “grandson” is better than frank will ever be smhh#Last part definitely is something that would happen HDBDBD#Dr Stone specially as a youngin was a HUGE workaholic (still is but becoming old made him a lot more tired)#And Harvey would always try and set up a sleeping schedule for him so he can get a good nights rest#(Which sometimes worked- though stone would usually wake up an hour or two later and go right back to work-)#Harvey always tried his best for stone 😔💔🥄🥄#BUT AWEAWEAWE THE OLD FARDSSS;;;;#CUTE LIL DOODLES OF EMMMMM
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thinking about the trans apollo justice tag on a03
theres really not enough going enough on it. most of it is just porn. which is cool and all, but I'm tired of sorting through the tags down to what I want to read and getting about 20 results; and almost all of them being oneshots or being almost completely irrelevant to the fact apollo is trans in the story.
I get it that sometimes transness doesnt have to be the main point of a story. but like... it affects so many facets of your life at the time and I wanna see that explored in my favorite media.
so I'm thinking im gonna just do it myself, like a story that's relatively canon compliant, following the events of aa4 and maybe aa5/6. I dont know about those though since I havent played aa5/6 yet and I'm currently stuck on turnabout corner in aa4. either way I'm thinking I'm gonna write a sfw trans apollo justice fic. autism blast go go go!!!
#yeah if I do end up writing in aa5/6 im going to make it a bit of a fix-it#im sorry i just want clay to be alive because hes a silly guy#so itd probably be ideal to cover aa4 only#and then do some post-aa4 original plot#yes its going to be klapollo by the way#ace attorney#apollo justice#ace attorney fanfiction#klapollo#fuck it ill probably have background narumitsu#and obviously gumshoe and maggie will be married post-7YG#theyre only like briefly mentiones though#maybe theyll show up post story#using these tags to brainstorm </3#chaogarden
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VAE Ray is on my mind today. Like if we take the classic 'V route but in love with Ray' road, you cannot tell me that that boy did not think of you almost every single day during the two years he has spent away on his painful recovery. There is so much left unsaid between the two of you: so much guilt, so much hurt and so many regrets plaguing his head every time he sees something that reminds him of you. And, God, does that include a lot of things.
He goes outside and one look at the clouds brings back a memory of those short but meaningful talks he shared with you about the most simple of things. He remains indoors, and after taking a sip of the herbal tea that Jihyun made for him, he is immediately transported back to a peaceful tea party he set up for you. He stares at his hands, and he can't help but think back on how heavenly your touch felt against them. And how much he regrets wearing those pesky gloves at the time, never giving him the chance to feel your skin on his.
You're like a ghost that watches over his every step. It's often painful. Like a constant reminder of all that could have been if he didn't ruin every chance at his happiness with you. Sometimes it gets a little too hard on him, and Saeran takes over. But sometimes it's comforting. Like a warm hug, keeping him secure when all else falls apart.
He refuses to let you go.
So when he does meet you again, it's like a fragile fantasy that is far too idealistic for it to be true. Ray had no expectation that his brother would remember him. No matter what Jihyun has told him over those two years, he couldn't bring himself to believe that Saeyoung truly wanted him in his life to be the burden that he truly is. So when he gets crushed into a tight, desperate hug that is a bit too painful for his scarred body, his twin's whole body shaking, wracked with sobs Ray's ears can't quite register fully due to how unbelievable it all is... He's almost in a trance-like stare. Hearing Saeyoung's voice telling him to never leave again as he holds him so tight, it's like he's afraid he'll disappear into thin air once he lets go...
None of it was what Ray or Saeran had expected.
And then there's you. Your reunion with Ray will definitely be an emotional event for both of you. Ray was sure that, at best, you had forgotten all about him and lived on a happy and safe life. A life that you deserve. And at worst, that you hated him, and cursed him for hurting you the way that he did.
But instead, you are so unbelievably happy to see him. So happy that you are crying for him. Much like Saeyoung is.
The two people he had the worst fear of facing again were accepting of him and shedding tears for him in a way he had never even imagined.
So he also breaks down. And the three of you probably spend a lot of time crying into each other's arms as two years of grief, heartbreak, and recovery wash over you all at once.
After that, things don't immediately turn perfect. There are still many things that need to be said. You and Ray will have many conversations with each other, taking breaks to process it all piece and piece and not overwhelm one another. About what happened those two years ago. About what happened after that. About your feelings for each other. And about Saeran, too.
It's a process that takes time. But the fact that you're willing and even wanting to go through that process with him is enough to cause Ray to shed tears more than he could count.
The beginning is small, very small. Brief brushing of his fingers against yours while you are sitting together in the shade of a large tree in Saeyoung's backyard. The lightest of touches you give to his scars after he allows it. A hand resting on his shoulder gently as he talks about something heavy to let him know you're there for him.
Every touch leaves his entire body shaking, his breath stuttering in his throat, forcing him to let out the faintest of gasps. The first time it happened, he got very ashamed and apologized profusely to you, as he thought he acted like a complete creep and made you uncomfortable. Ray knows he's touch-starved, and that he's touch-starved for your touch specifically. But he doesn't think it's something worth dealing with, not wanting to be a bother to anyone. Not any more than he already is. A thought process that he will need to work on one step at a time.
You let him know that it's okay, though. That you don't mind. That it's your own desire to touch him.
After that, you begin to take his hands into yours. The first time it occurs, your hand jist clasps around his lightly. Then you interlock your fingers together, once he's okay with that. And then he feels safe enough to do that to you, too.
Holding hands with you is something Ray loves with all his heart. No gloves are getting in the way now. He can feel your skin directly on his with no barriers. It's a wordless 'I got you' that he finds himself getting more and more greedy for, the longer you indulge his cravings for human warmth.
His scars are not bothersome to you. If he doesn't want to, you don't force him to talk about them. And you're always quick to let him know how beautiful he is to you whenever he feels insecure about them. Even if he has a hard time believing that.
You're far too good for him, is what Ray finds himself thinking time and time again. But at some point, he comes to the realization that he is too selfish to let you go again. And then Saeran joins in on that line of thinking after his own long journey with you. So he doesn't let you go again.
And that's when everything changes.
Ray can be clingy with you if you let him. He desires to hold your hand inside the house, regardless of whether it's just a walk to the balcony or kitchen. He will rest against you whenever you are resting, reading a book, or indulging in your hobby. You don't need to talk to each other. He just silently sinks against you and sighs softly, letting your presence wash away all other thoughts floating in his mind. While asleep, he clings to you, almost as if his subconsciousness is terrified of you disappearing again. He fiddles with your clothes, with your fingers, or with your hair whenever you are talking to someone, and he's there with you. It calms him. Keeps him steady.
There is an undeniable bittersweetness to Ray's clinginess. GE Saeran's touchiness stems from his heart's pure affection towards you, but VAE Ray neecs to constantly remind himself that you're there. That he can touch you. That you are not going anywhere. And that you have no hatred towards him.
But it can also be sweet. Like whenever you help him take care of his burns, or you ease him into a warm, soothing bath you've prepared just for him. Ray may be anxious. But you are always eager to show him how much you genuinely care for him. How much you enjoy touching him in the way he has always wanted to be touched by you. To allow him to unwind with you. Close his eyes and let you take care of him with no judgement.
Your relationship with VAE Ray described in one word would be: peace. It's peace after the long, heavy storm you had to endure to get to this point. And it's peace that you will cherish for as long as life allows you.
#mystic messenger#mysmes#mysme#mm#saeran choi#choi saeran#vae ray#ray choi#choi ray#saeran x reader#vae ray x reader#ray x reader#i am EMOTIONAL okay#i love him so much#he deserves to live peacefully and quietly the way he deserves#vae saeran deserves a separate post on the same topic so he's just briefly mentioned
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tidbits from kant's file:
the file is updated for this year, 2567 = 2024. i'm not sure what the 353 means
kant's birthday is 27 march (มี.ค.) (year is blurry but we know it must be 2537/8 aka 1994/5 since he's 29. march has very likely passed in the show so im 95% sure it's 2538 (also looks more like an 8))
his career is listed as free/independent which i assume (probably?) means self-employment basically which would make sense. im not privy to thai census record terminology though
lives in bang phlat district. it's right on the chao phraya
im not great with names so i could be a little off, but it seems like his dad's name is phong junior..? he has อนุ in his name which i think can mean junior, but typically means small/kid/minor (roughly) [EDIT: i was wrong it would be anupong lol; again not great with names]
mom's name is samon [transcribed usually as samorn, i do it weird] (means beautiful/beloved woman lol)
under spouse (wife/husband) "miss" something is listed (นางสาว___) (possibly also ms.). cuts conveniently off lol. very likely he was/is married*
not sure what's under the spouse line. includes 173 ช.ม. (i believe). ชั่วโมง is hour, which is the only word i can think of it might abbreviate. 173 hours? shrug
*im curious about this, like everyone probably, but since this file is updated to 2024 and this person is listed under spouse, wouldn't that imply they're still technically married...?
at the same time, it says miss, not mrs. like kant's mom. However, mrs. is just นาง as opposed to miss = นางสาว. สาว means 'young woman'. i dont know if that means anything but i wonder if women who marry young/in their teens are still referred to as นางสาว. but Even if that were the case (which is a big if), wouldnt her title be updated now that she's presumable older in 2024? unless she like. uh. died
#nof's nonsense#i got scatterbrained at the end does that make sense at all. lol#lots of fun to analyze either way#who knows how much of this is right but like. it's fun to think about. little details :) his birthday's march 27th :D#saw the wife thing briefly mentioned on twitter or wtv and went back and took screenshots myself for clearer view#thaiql#thk#the heart killers#in case anyone's interested ig#if anyone knows those title conventions id be interested to know#kant pattanawat#i like his first name :)#sounds cool#ALSO. not putting this in the body bc its pure speculation but#the whole wife thing. i wonder if. you never can tell by chuck berry in p'jo's playlist is related#song about a teenage wedding 🤔 which is what influenced those last thoughts a little#maybe he just likes the song. but i think it would be neat if it was thematically relevant#not sure it fits the overall theme of the playlist otherwise like it kind of sticks out a little. so my brains like omg it must be there#for a Reason#but who knows. shrug
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I've had a Kirby hyperfixation since my childhood and your art and super good animations bring back even more of the joy the games gave me. The lighting captures such a sweet mood in all your stuff also as someone who tried animation briefly... Chefs kiss to all of your animations anyway if just thought I'd join in on thoughts about u and ur stuff <3
HI HI im so sorry for not responding to this for a month :sob:
this is EXACTLY how i want my work to feel to others! a brief feeling of joy, something to make you think, something to make you feel something. anything can be artwork, but my favorite kinds are ones that makes you think or feel something, anything. to be able to convey that through artwork and have it work, it feels so special everytime :') i really appreciate your words, i kept replaying this message in my mind, thinking id respond then forget😭.. you get a small part of a bg in an animation im working on as an apology............
#you mention trying animation briefly.. i do wonder who sent this :( id love to look through your work#idk how to explain it but looking through someones work is so magical. you get to know a little piece about them#my mom always tells me how someone presents themself - how they express theirself artistically - how they articulate themself#it all says something about them. and i do believe it to an extent. it isnt always true but you get to talk a little look into someones min#and idk its just so interesting. i like it a lot i love art so much#erm erm lets just say a callum can ramble SORRY. in a life appreciating mood lately. everyone needs it every once in awhile#gamezz.txt
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The Mario movie was cute, best scenes are the ones with the bros just being. Bros.
Peppino is their cousin. That's it, that's the funny.
And per tradition? I guess? Some more (unfortunately Mario-less) doodles under the cut.
... Yeah. Twinsomnia again. These damn sibs are still on my brain. They're here to - Oh? Oh, Peppino's not a kid? They had the wrong address? Oh well. Might as well help him get through the tower!
Something-something functioning as a single character, something-something throwing each other around, something-something basically Gus and Brick.
Some more self-indulgent crossover'ish nonsense...
Same mirror, same man, different time, different reflections. Shoutout to @/rascal-rose for the idea of young Peppino having curly hair!! I cherish him.
And some wholesome stuff to top it off. (I feel like my handwriting is especially bad on the last one, so just in case, it goes "Buongiorno, ranocchio. Do you want the coffee?".)
#mario movie#LMAO AS I WAS TYPING OUT THIS TAG TUMBLR SUGGESTED ''m*ri om*ri'' (censored to avoid infiltrating that tag)#imagine.#anyway#mario mario#luigi mario#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#fake peppino#twinsomnia#not gonna use the f///nf tag because i feel like i'd be pushing it#like listen. so many times i go into the tag of a thing. and i'll see posts just briefly mentioning that thing and barely having it.#maybe i'm more upset than i should be but i just UGH!! someone out there may be STARVING for g*stavo content and me mentioning him here-#-brings that person to this post.. BUT THERE IS NO G*STAVO!!!!!! NO BLORBO!!!!!!!!!!!!#i could never do that to someone. i know that pain all too well to put someone else through that.#also why i wanna refrain from tagging people i don't personally know. like yes awesome artist look at my insanity that has one brief-#-mention of your awesome idea. obviously credit is necessary but emnemnemne i'd rather do it quietly
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i love the yuya lookalike from mouthwashing so much and when i saw gnomesuke i had to make my own... gnomebrun. i have watched only the first 30 minutes of this game and i think everything turns out alright... 🩷
#my line work is so much more confident than usual with this one like i was on a mission#beaubrun bien-aime#rdo character#i cant even tag this red dead hes just a GNOME#mouthwashing#briefly mentioned tbh#daisuke mouthwashing#gnomesuke#gnomebrun#doodle
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