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white-btterfly · 2 days ago

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I was SO waiting for your comment of this chapter, and you didn't disappoint! I always get giddy whenever I see the notification of a new comment from you!

Oh, my sweet chronically ill Viktor. Starting off the chapter with scenes of him suffering is exactly what I'd expect after his near-confession last chapter. I love that he doesn't care to clean up after himself at this point. And the way his mind keeps coming back to all of the lies he has told Jayce. It's like a part of his body is finally rejecting the actions he took in earlier chapters. Hanahaki wanted him to lie and keep things a secret from Jayce, but the real Viktor wants to be known by Jayce. That part of him will win out in the end :) please. I'm begging.

Viktor is sick of lying. He was already disgusted of having to lie to Jayce by chapter 2. The guilt is eating him alive. How can he feel deserving of Jayce's friendship when he keeps lying to him again and again? But it's not only that. It's also about lying to Jayce about who he really is. I don't think love is supposed to remain locked in someone's heart. One day you have to confess or move on.

Viktor will never move on.

...Jayce's definition of anything certainly didn't include falling in love with Viktor. Oh honey, yes it does. If only you knew. Their confessions to each other are going to be fucking earth-shattering. My god. I can't wait. Thank god this story is tagged as a happy ending or I'd be comatose by now.

I can only hope you'll like it. With each chapter, we are getting closer to the confession chapter, and with each chapter, I get a little more nervous. I hope I will meet your expectations!

He dreamed of finally being honest with Jayce, of being able to say to him, see, this is who I am. This is the reason why. Everything I did or said, I did or said because I love you. This is what I was trying to articulate in my comments a few chapters ago! Yes yes! You laid the trail of breadcrumbs perfectly. The universally craved experience of being truly known and still deeply loved despite everything you've done. *chef's kiss* Perfection. I hope we see it happen. I'll be there, with my popcorn, sobbing.

Awww thanks. 💖

Is it just me that loves when Viktor and Jayce show up at each other's apartments? It can't be. I just think that's the best. We don't get to see them outside of the lab very often in the show, but I imagine they go over to each other's places. It's such a domestic thing. But it's like a level up to a friendship when you get to go to someone's living space??? Idk. It's cute.

Jayce has a toothbrush at Viktor's place. He probably slept on his sofa more than once. They also have each other's spare keys, of course. Just in case something happens. They trust each other that much.

Jayce shows up and talks to Viktor through the door, even though Viktor never acknowledges that he's listening. I can just see the scene in my mind. The view split by the door so you can see them both pressing their foreheads against either side of the door, mirroring each other without knowing. Jayce goes full sad puppy mode. VIKTOR LISTEN YOU BETTER GIVE THAT MAN SO MANY KISSES AFTER THIS. Jayce misses you! You abandoned him!

I had a scene from Doctor Who in my mind when I wrote this. And it's also strange that, without this door, their foreheads would be touching like their ending in S2. No, I don't secretly work at Fortiche, I promise.

Not surprised at all that Jayce hasn't gotten any work done. He's so emotionally distraught. The poor man devoted all of his brain cells to processing his newly discovered attraction to Viktor and forgot to leave any for doing science. And with Viktor rushing out on him after Jayce said he'd do anything to save him? My brain would be full of bees after that. The whole eerily untouched lab is giving the same energy as Jayce sitting there, sleepless, waiting for Viktor to wake up after merging with the Hexcore.

Jayce can’t function without Viktor. It’s canon. His partner is gone, and Jayce gets a real taste of what life would be like without him, and he hates it. He’s not just upset, he’s broken. Desperate. He shows up at the lab the next morning and finds it empty. And then he just… waits. All day. He can’t work, can’t focus, just paces and cries and keeps wondering if he should just go to Viktor’s apartment, because what if something happened to him? But if nothing did happen, then that means Viktor chose not to come, and that thought is somehow worse. Jayce spirals. He's terrified he’s lost Viktor’s friendship for good, and beneath it all, he can't stop thinking about his newfound feelings for Viktor, about how he wants Viktor to love him no matter what. His feelings have been growing, changing into something more, something he’s scared to name. Because even if they reconcile, even if things go back to 'normal', he might lose Viktor anyway, once his partner realizes Jayce doesn’t just want to be friends anymore.

In sum, it's a wonder how Jayce didn't explode.

Oh my god, you wrote about how Viktor showed Jayce his little hideaway. You did NOT. I always wondered how often they must have come there, for Jayce to know Viktor would be there when he's sad in Season 1. And you wrote lore about how Viktor got an updated cane with Talis ornaments? Everything I've ever cared about has been written into this story. Thank you for the food.

How beautiful it is that we, as jayvik fans, care about the same things. ❤️

Oh, he could have stared at Jayce all day long–and that was all he was allowed to do, staring, for his desire for him would never be sated. Jayce was, simply put, out of his league. It's honestly sad and hilarious how wrong he is. Jayce is actually a total dweeb. The two of them are meant for each other. Case in point: Jayce demonstrating how the mage transported him and his mother to safety.

One of my favorite scenes. I would have like more readers mention how it got a laugh out of them. And to think he uses Viktor's cane to imitate Mage Viktor! This is honestly so beautifully ironic. I bet Mage Viktor found that funny, too. (He's watching over that timeline with pure fondness and affection.)

Okay, so the rune not being the acceleration rune was a surprise to me. I was wondering how much of an AU this would be. And it turns out we're going for the in-universe explanation of Mage Viktor's "in all timelines, in all possibilities" scene where he drops a different rune into Jayce's hand each time he saves him. It's really cute to think that in one of the timelines, Jayce and Viktor fall in love (do they still get obliterated by the arcane later?? hmmmm I don't want to think too much about that)

Yes, BYSS!Jayce and BYSS!Viktor are actually alternate versions of their canon selves. The amplification rune (the butterfly-shaped rune) made Viktor sick with Hanahaki. I don't know why I was so excited for this, but I was! I think it's because it kind of make BYSS canon in the Arcane universe? Who's going to say it's not? All timelines, all possibilities! All right, sure, apparently, only one prevents the end of the universe, but... Okay, let's just say this. Jayce and Viktor being in love (and healthy) changes a lot of things. No fucking Hexcore is the biggest change. They will manage peace between the two cities (a marriage between the Man of Progress and his Zaunite partner? Oh my) and S2 doesn't happen. They will soon realize the Hexgates do shit in Zaun, and dismantle them. It will break both their hearts a little, but they will have each other so everything will be all right, and they will continue to invent other things and improve lives without Hextech and live old together. And the BYSS timeline can't be the one because, in 10000 years, another idiot will trigger the apocalypse, and this one is truly unavoidable because the power of true love isn't there to save the day. The BYSS timeline is still worth watching over, though. 💖

In the flashback, Viktor being proud to have made Jayce laugh even though they haven't known each other for that long yet AAAAAAA. They are so cute. You can see how their casual banter developed from these initial interactions.

Yeah. ❤️ I love them seeing happy and carefree like that, especially since it's a flashback between two emotionally charged scenes.

Jayce was totally flirting with him though, what the fuck? "Particularly witty genius who took pity on me," and fucking WINKING? Jayce please, calm down.

I know. He drives me mad too! Love at first sight!

I love how fast they opened up to each other. The combination of Viktor seeing Jayce at his worst and Viktor helping him fulfill his dream sets them on a course for immediate understanding. It's such a blessing to find someone that is interested in the same things as you, and to have them express an equal desire to learn about who you are and who you've been. Their energies feed off of each other is such a wholesome way. Even though Viktor is the only one...aware...of the danger of developing romantic feelings at this point, I like to think that Jayce felt this intense rightness during this scene as well. Like a piece clicking into place in his life, Viktor just fits.

Jayce definitely felt something between them. Like they were on the same wavelength. And something else as well, like admiration, bordering on adoration, though he did not recognize the feeling right away (and won't until the next chapter.)

Viktor's own backstory is so sad and a rhyme of sorts to Vi and Powder's experiences as children in Season 1. It also illustrates how alone he was. He fell and there was no one to reach out a hand to save him. He lies there, broken on the ground. Thankfully, he still had his mother to find him. I love how Jayce sees Viktor's strength and resilience immediately. He doesn't have to be convinced. He already knows.

I was feeling kind of insecure about Viktor's backstory. Not at first (because I thought it was incredible, mirroring Vi and Powder's lives, and the lives of poor children in the undercity) but because I read that people weren't too kind about giving an accident backstory to explain Viktor's disability. But in my mind, Viktor was born with his limp, but being poor made his situation worse. I'm just glad people unequivocally loved his backstory, because I put so much care and attention in it, I would have been heartbroken if someone said it was actually disrespectful.

And of course, this backstory explains so much about Viktor, about the title of the fic itself, the promise Jayce made to Viktor, his fear of the night, etc.

Jayce was looking at him strangely, intensely. No one had ever looked at him like that before, but generally, when people stared at him, they either looked down on him or felt sorry for him. Viktor's bad went rigid. "I don't want your pity,' he said stiffly. Jayce's eyes shone. "I was admiring you." God, this is just like the end of Season 2. Did you write this before that even happened? How did you know that Jayce was down bad for Viktor and admiring everything about him? Or did you add that in later just to make my heart shatter into a million pieces? I'm screaming, crying, throwing up flower petals. I don't think Viktor ever had anyone say that to him before. No one has ever openly admired him for anything. And Jayce is so unabashed. Basking in Viktor's luminance.

No, again, I wrote this chapter before S2. I can't stress this enough. How many times have people told me that my fanfiction mirrors S2 when I wrote it before it aired. And I think the comparison works in the end because I put all my favorite romantic tropes in that beloved fanfiction of mine, and S2 just decided to do the SAME THING. Unbelievable.

Other authors would have let Jayce and Viktor sweep things under the rug, but not you @white-btterfly you always make them confront their mistakes head-on before letting them make new ones that move the story forward.

Thank you. That's the definition of love to me. To be able to work together to make the relationship work. Love is based on honesty and devotion.

The way Jayce walks through all of Viktor's fears and refutes each one, banishing those Hanahaki demons like it's his job. Jayce is the epitome of undying devotion. He wrote the definition. He is the blueprint. No one is doing it like Jayce is doing it. And isn't that just so in character, god damn it. THIS ENTIRE STORY IS SO PLAUSIBLE WHAT THE FUCK. Screw the canon, this is my truth now. Butterfly rune timeline is the one true timeline in my heart.

*screams* THANK YOU SO MUCH AAAAAAAAH

The way the order of the cosmos was rewritten when Viktor said, "You are the most important person in my life!" Viktor accidentally on purpose throws him off the scent by calling him his "friend" a million times and I will never forgive him for it. But that line changes everything. Jayce has been worried about that this whole time, that the man Viktor loves is more important than Jayce is. But that's simply not true.

VIKTOR FRIENZONED THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE. That's what one of my readers said and I can't get the sentence out of my mind. That's true. He broke Jayce's heart without even realizing. That line is both a blessing and a curse for Jayce. He's the most important man in Viktor's life—wonderful—but he's realizing it's not enough. It's not nearly enough. He wants more than to be Viktor's best friend. He realized what he wanted at the same time he realized he could never have it.

I wasn't expecting Jayce to fucking sob in this chapter. But it was so fucking cathartic to read. I'll never forgive the creators for taking out that split second of cut footage of Jayce clearly wiping away tears when he's at Viktor's bedside. LET JAYCE CRY! He's an emotional guy! Let the man express his sadness! And my god, the two of them needed a chance to let it all out.

Honestly that man was going to break down eventually. He had too much going on. He got his heart broken by Viktor, and could not even hope to keep the pain hidden. The hug—the hug—it felt cathartic to write, too. Before that, they never really allowed themselves to be truly physically affectionate (Jayce, too. The hand on the shoulder is NOT enough for this man.) Their dance was an exception, but that hug unlocked something between them they never thought they would get. The week between their reconciliation and their date was full of little touches they never did before.

Oh, and I remember watching Jayce cry in the ravine, while imagining his girlfriend turning into his partner. The man was fighting his bisexual demons and losing.

Is he going to cured now? He's starting to believe it's possible that Jayce loves him? Oh my god. I don't know. I don't know!

Yes, real hope can ward off Hanahaki. Like Heimerdinger said, the symptoms will be kept at bay as long as Viktor truly believes his feelings are reciprocated. That's why he's already feeling better by the end of the chapter.

And rude rude rude I see what you were doing there with Jayce coughing. Evil. Maniacal. I didn't want to believe he would get sick too because that's just too unfair for my poor battered soul to take. But upon re-reading I am seeing that you left clues for that as well. I did notice Jayce was a bit delusional last chapter but hey, being a little mentally unwell is par of the course when you're Jayce Talis.

Ahahah. I'm sorry. (I'm sorry that I'm not.)

Before Your Sun Sets - Chapter 10 is available!

Viktor is sick with Hanahaki. Jayce would do anything to save him—whether it be by developing an impossible cure or trying to find out who Viktor is in love with to smack some sense into them. Little does he know, he’s chasing his own shadow.

Read chapter 10 now

Read from the beginning

#byss comments #ahah thank you #don't worry the suffering will soon be over #really #well I don't know if you've read it yet but chapter 12 is actually rock bottom #so keep the life support until then :)

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blade-that-was-broken · 1 year ago

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“Hey Clay?”

“Yeah?”

“I know you don’t really like to talk about your older bro-...”

“Did he call again? Ignore it, he’ll stop. Honestly, he should know better by now,” Clay grumbled, not looking up from his project. Last week, Bruce had called him, out of the blue. It had been a weird phone call, acting as if the last several years didn’t happen. As if Bruce didn’t just pick up and move across the country the moment he could, leaving the rest of them to their mother.

He knew he was holding a ridiculous grudge. It had been years. And Clay might have gotten over it eventually, if Bruce hadn’t replaced them with his perfect family. He barely stayed in contact - even with the brothers who weren’t as mad at him. Branch had been young when Bruce left, barely six years old. Clay wasn’t a whole ton better but at least Branch knew him to an extent. Branch at least knew his favorite color. Clay doubted Branch knew the first thing about Bruce.

“He… he’s here.”

Bruce wouldn’t leave his resort and his wife and well, now his kids. It was like he expected everyone to pick up and go visit him just because he lived on an exotic island or whatever. As if Clay didn’t have responsibilities or Floyd wasn’t constantly traveling. As if it was so easy for Grandma to leave the house and fly across the country. Bruce barely called and he never, ever visited - much less out of the blue like this.

Clay stopped and looked up, his head swiveling around to look back at his best friend. Her curly blonde hair was wrapped up in a messy ponytail, which was fairly normal, but the uncertain and awkward expression on her face was definitely not the norm for her. “What?” he asked, shocked.

She nodded. “Yeah. There is a guy down in the courtyard. He said he’s your older brother.”

Clay shook his head. Bruce would never leave his precious wife and resort to visit him, especially when he knew how much Clay was upset with him. Had been for years. Honestly, aside from one phone call a week or two ago, Clay hadn’t really heard from him in years. Clay could have chalked it up to Bruce just knowing that he was angry with him for abandoning him - them - with their mother the first moment he could, but he barely kept in contact with Floyd and Branch as well. And they didn’t hold the hard feelings that Clay did. Not that Clay was much better; he didn’t talk to any of his brothers much either.

“There is no way,” he protested with a huff, rolling his eyes. She must be mistaken, there was no other option. “He’s never made a trip out here. He would never leave his resort. What is he doing out here?” Viva hesitated, glancing away, which was very strange for her. She was very straightforward and easily excitable. Clay felt his brow furrow a little. “Viva…”

“He’s not… like how you said.”

He just sighed and took a deep breath. Bruce definitely had a way with people; he always had. Granted, Clay probably painted him in mostly a crappy light, due to the fact that whenever the subject did come up - which was extremely rare - it was not often positive. Clay had a lot of anger and probably a lot of resentment. It was a work in progress. “Look, Viv. I know he’s easy to believe. He seems soooooo friendly and charming that you want to just swoon or whatever. He’s got that effect on people but…”

“No.”

“No?” Clay asked, confused. She said it so strong, so flat, so sure and Clay wasn’t sure what to make of that.

“Clay… he’s not like that at all. He was actually really quiet and awkward and super uncertain but held him with some kind of…rigidness? At least as much as he could,” Viva looked uncomfortable, like she had seen something she really didn’t like. He wasn’t sure what that was about. At the moment, he was more hung up on the description which did not sound like Bruce at all.

He scoffed. “Bruce?”

“He didn’t say that was his name,” Viva continued, still uncertain, glancing towards the window. “But you only have one older brother right?”

Clay blinked and his whole world came to a standstill. “I….”

“Clay?”

Older brothers.

There was no way, though. He hadn’t heard anything from him since their parent’s divorce and when he was practically dragged away almost kicking and screaming. Clay barely remembered it; he tried not to. Everyone had been crying but Branch’s screaming, going along with everyone else's tears kind of drowned everything out. It hadn’t been a pretty memory and Clay avoided thinking about it. Coupling that with his mother’s systematic way of erasing anything that evoked him or their father from their house and their lives, it only took a few years for everyone to stop considering them entirely.

His eyes widened. There was no way. There was no way it was possible.

Clay didn’t even think. He bolted out the door, not even bothering to strip off his lab coat. There was no way. It had been at least fifteen years. What were the chances? After fifteen years? There was no way.

He had to be sure.

Making his way down to the courtyard, with Viva shouting after him, he scanned the area upon slamming the doors open. It had been a decade and a half. He had no idea what to look for anymore. They had all changed.

“He’s by the fountain, sitting on the stone wall,” Viva supplied.

That helped. He made his way over, still looking over the area until he spotted a more middle aged guy with short hair and bandages on his arm. When he looked, Viva nudged him, giving him the sign that who she had talked to was him. Definitely not Bruce.

He looked over at Clay and recognized him, suddenly nervous. Clay just stared. That was all he could really muster up to do. “Uh… hi, Clay. I know you might not really remember me but…”

Clay didn’t say a word at first, just launching himself at his big brother, knocking him into the grass behind in a hug. He clearly wasn’t expecting it but he took to the action pretty quickly, wrapping his arms around Clay’s back for support and to keep him from being tossed around.

“John Dory.”

Clay couldn’t remember the last time he thought of him, much less said his name out loud. He hated that. His eyes were squeezed shut, just soaking up the firm grasp his oldest - his oldest - brother had on him. He had so much to say and so many questions but only one happened to come out. It had been fifteen years and now John Dory just showed up out of the blue.

“How did…how did you find me?”

It wasn’t exactly what he wanted to say. There was a lot he wanted to say and do but his mouth had run off with him, questioning so much that he really didn’t actually care the answers to. Because he was here. After fifteen years.

“Bruce told me.”

Clay shifted slightly. “B-Bruce?” He supposed it might have been easier to find a resort owner before some crazy older college student. Although Clay felt like he had his name out there more than his other older brother, as he had written papers and had been featured in several journals. Although it might not have been in things John might have looked through. They could be pretty niche.

“I…” John tensed a little and hesitated. “He found me. The hospital found him, I guess? They found him and called him. I’ve been staying with him for my recovery.”

Clay’s heart dropped as he pulled away, trying to assess. He scrambled off his brother, stepping back. “Your what?”

John grimaced.

Viva nudged his shoulder and spoke quietly. “Clay.”

Clay’s eyes were drawn downward. Sure, there were bandages on his arm but John’s grip didn’t seem to be very weak so he doubted that would be so debilitating and honestly, his legs seemed fi-… where was his leg?

“W-Where is your leg?”

“Sudan… I think?”

Clay just stared.

“Right, sorry. Kinda dark humor there,” John muttered, sitting up a little more. “I was… I have been, I guess, in the military for a while. Over ten years I guess, uhm… it’s a long story. But some stuff happened, my arm got kinda burned up but it’ll be okay. Head got banged around a bit but that should be fine too. The biggest thing was my leg which… well, that ended my military career pretttyyyy quick. The hospital found Bruce and yeah, I’ve been staying with him but…. I wanted to see you. Needed to see you.”

There was a pause.

“Sorry, that was… that was a lot of words.”

“When Bruce called…” Clay drifted off in realization. Bruce had called to tell Clay about John.

“He didn’t want to freak you out.”

“But I hung up.”

John nodded. “Bruce didn’t really tell me anything about what happened with you guys or anything but I just… I bought a plane ticket and well, here I am.”

Here he was.

“Does Bruce even know you’re here?” Clay asked, uncertainly. With John’s state, it probably meant that Bruce was kind of taking care of him, which meant he was in charge of his welfare and health. John was still on leg crutches and probably couldn’t get around super well. It couldn’t have been that long since it happened.

John snorted. “I am a grown man.”

“Missing a leg!”

“So?” John asked, his nose wrinkling. Clay almost felt like he had been slapped. Floyd and Branch did the same thing. “I knew a guy who lost both and guess what? He lives alone. Does just fine.”

“He’s probably freaking out.”

“Bruce? Probably.”

“Then why are you here?”

John tried not to look hurt. He would have done a great job too, if he hadn’t looked away. It was a telltale sign and Clay noticed. He didn’t even realize what he had said and how it came out until it was too late. He cursed himself; he didn’t want John to think he didn’t want him here. “I haven’t seen you in fifteen years, Clay. No matter how much time passes or what happens, I love you.”

Shit.

“Clay… he’s so cute,” Viva sniffled. “You never told me-”

“That I existed?” John guessed, making Clay cringe. “That seems to be an ongoing theme.”

“JD, I just…” he didn’t really know what to say. He didn’t have any excuse, really. He could blame a lot on his mother but that felt wrong to say to him. There wasn’t any real excuse that would make anyone feel better.

“It’s alright,” John replied, although Clay could tell there was some struggle. Which made sense. No one wanted to feel forgotten by loved ones. Especially not the ones still alive. “Bruce didn’t tell his kids I existed either. I’m getting over it.”

He shouldn’t have to get over it, Clay thought. He shouldn’t have had to do any of it. He should have spent the last fifteen years with them. He should have been there for birthdays, for their graduations, for their important moments. He should have been there when Bruce got married. For Floyd’s first show. For Clay’s best college awards. Bruce’s kids should have known their uncle their entire life, not just now and so forth.

“She’s dead, our mother,” Clay said, blandly. He blamed her a lot, for pretty much everything. Not the divorce itself; that was both of them, but for cutting them off from his brother. For forcing his name to never be spoken. For erasing his memory. It was one thing to keep them away from their father, although Clay didn’t like that either, but to keep them away from their older brother was unforgivable for him.

“So is dad. Over ten years.”

Ten years. Over even. John lost his family, became an adult and lost his father. No wonder he joined the military.

“Six.”

“I tried looking for you,” John promised, like it was something he had to convince Clay of. Like he didn’t want Clay to think that he didn’t try. It wasn’t meant to make Clay feel worse and Clay knew it but it did anyway. Because Clay hadn’t. He hadn’t looked. He hadn’t even considered it. “Before joining the military. After too, a little, I suppose. I’m no detective I guess.”

Clay just stared at him. Did he think…?

“I know…” John frowned again. “I know you’re mad at Bruce but I can’t… I… Clay, I want to be…to have… to be in some part of your life and I just…”

“I’m not mad at you.”

Clay hated the almost hopeful look that John stared at him with. It was a expression that screamed he wasn’t expecting this reaction. “You… aren’t?”

“No. Of course not. Our parents were petty and bitter and it is all their fault. JD, you never… you didn’t abandon anyone. Dad took you away and mom decided to try and erase that part of her life. Have you blamed yourself this whole time? For years?”

“No, no, I just… I don’t want you to think I stayed away or something.”

“I believe you,” Clay promised. “And I’m so glad you’re here.”

#soldier on au #john dory #clay #viva #the one au where clay's anger is not directed around jd ever #i guess i have another like that too but still; this is different idk i guess #sorry yall ive been super busy #and trying to draw #along with the million other things of life #but this was mostly written so there is that #it's a little longer too!!#branch and possibly clay are gonna make jd a kickass leg #i just feel like clay is intellectually very smart while branch is good at literally making things???#idk it's just i dunno #i both have all the ideas for jd and branch and ZERO ideas too #there's like no in between #but like guyyyyyysssssss #they so cute thooooooo #ironically JD kinda becomes a buffer for bruce and clay which is hilarious considering canon #or what is usually written about jd and clay #but it gets better #and here i am ranting in the tags again #i love it when people reblog and there are thoughts in the tags tho cause i read them and it's fun

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