#<- regarding the salsa

[miserye]

why is there salsa on my side of the fridge

[nomaishuttle]

i need 2 start eating vegetables. Haggard

[pixiecaps]

The Betrayal • A Full Breakdown

This post serves as an in-depth explanation of everything that occurred with the Betrayal arc regarding qRoier at the beginning of the server. Everything is split into 10 separate sections detailing what exactly happened as well as explaining qSpreen's side of this arc. Below the "Context" section you'll find a compilation of clips all of which are translated and captioned into English. Anything not shown in the video or lacking context is explained in their respective sections. In these sections you'll also find transcribed pieces of conversations not shown in the video translated into English as well.

— Context —

VOD 1 | In order to properly understand how this all unfolds I must explain some things first. Roier had set his mind on making a taqueria on the SMP which is a Mexcian restaurant that specializes in tacos for those unaware. To do this he had to, well, make tacos. Crafting tacos took a decent amount of ingredients but one ingredient in particular proved difficult to find. The tomatillo. After 1 hour and a half of search and calling out for Osito Bimbo's help, with no response, Roier finally found a single crop of tomatillo which gave him a single seed. He's ecstatic and starts making his way back home.

3 minutes later after he found the tomatillo and acquired the seed by himself Osito Bimbo makes an appearance. Roier quickly informs Osito that he came a little too late and questions why he now appears after having found what he was begging for minutes ago. Osito Bimbo doesn't offer any response and after lingering for a bit Roier decides to ask him something else.

Roier: Since you arrived so late, could you give me a lot of tomatillo? A lot, a lot of tomatillo. I think this is the only way I could forgive you.

Osito Bimbo: Maybe.

Roier asks Osito Bimbo for specifically a stack of tomatillo seeds, which commences a deal being inevitably struck.

Osito Bimbo tells Roier that, in exchange for the seeds, he has to do something for him. Roier, with a mischievous tone, agrees without hesitation and without knowing what it would be that he had to do. Osito then gives him a book instructing Roier to make him 10 tacos and 3 chimichangas. Osito then hands Roier 62 seeds of tomatillo. Roier thanks him graciously and sets off home to make the long-awaited tacos.

After he arrives home and begins preparing the tacos, he realizes he doesn't have salt or lettuce, so once more, Osito Bimbo appears, and he asks Osito for the missing ingredients. This time, however, instead of food, Osito Bimbo asks Roier to give him information on Vegetta in exchange for his help. Osito was of the belief that Vegetta was plotting something that Roier may know of. Going to the extent of using gunfire on Roier to threaten information out of him, however, Roier did not budge and instead acted aloof to what Osito Bimbo may have been referring to. Osito believed his act and handed him 17 seeds of lettuce and the coordinates of where he could find salt on the island. He sets off to the coordinates and, in fact, finds the salt where Osito Bimbo had said it would be.

Roier once again returns home and begins crafting the ingredients needed for the taco, such as cheese, salsa, tortillas, etc. During this time, Roier first sees two Cucurucho's at once. One in his kitchen and another in his garden. And finally, after 3 hours and 6 minutes, Roier crafts the first taco. He hands the taco to Osito Bimbo (The one in the kitchen) and he eats it. Roier makes a joke and Osito Bimbo shoots him. To this, Roier reacts negatively and says, "It's not cool for you to treat me like that. ... You can't just shoot me then simply leave like that." As a consolation of sorts, Osito Bimbo hands Roier a poppy. Roier informs Osito that he has to leave and won't be able to make the rest of the tacos for him that day. Osito Bimbo exclaims "No!" repeatedly. Roier challenges him and says, “Oh. You won't let me leave? You won't let me leave? Are you sure?" He then spits at Osito and throws the poppy back at him. After this, Osito Bimbo replies, “Finish what I told you.” Roier then, visibly irritated, says, “You know what, Osito? You know what, Osito? I'm tired of you treating me badly. I'm tired of you treating me badly. You and I are no longer friends." And he logs out without giving Osito Bimbo a second to respond.

VOD 2 I The following day, Roier logs on and finds a trail of poppies in his home, which leads to the upstairs of the house. Following the trail, he finds a chest with 3 tacos and a book inside.

Roier reacts to the letter warmly, declaring that he wants to keep spending time with Osito. He begins writing his own letter back as a response.

Roier leaves the book in the chest, knowing that Osito is likely watching him in that moment and will read the book later. Then Roier commences his day by gathering ingredients and crafting more tacos.

VOD 3 | Now, before this occurred and before Roier had logged on for that very day, Spreen was also on the server exploring when he was approached by the Devil, who proposed an alliance between the two of them.

Devil: I come here to propose an alliance. You and I, what do you think?

Spreen: What type of alliance?

Devil: An alliance. You do bad things for me and I do good things for you.

Spreen: So, I do bad things for you but it's going to be your fault?

Devil: No, because-

Spreen: So, I have to take the blame for my own actions?

Devil: You just have to- No, you just have to play carefully and not get caught doing bad things.

Spreen: So, I have to play with people's feelings?

Devil: Exactly, that's what I like, that's what I like.

The agreement goes as follows: Spreen will do whatever bad things the Devil asks, if Spreen so chooses to accept them, in exchange for whatever he desires. The greater his desires, the greater the sin he'll have to commit. The Devil says that there's only one condition to their alliance, which is that Spreen can never tell anyone that he's had contact with the Devil, and if in any situation the Devil is implicated, then he will rain hell on Spreen's life, like destroying his home and so forth. Additionally, if Spreen agrees to do a misdeed prompted to him by the Devil, he must complete it in the given time, or else he'll have to punish him severely. It is important to note that while talking to the Devil, Spreen mentions Roier being his "great comrade" and saved a cat from being burned alive by the Devil. The devil then conducts an interview with Spreen to see if this alliance is truly beneficial to him, and this is where Spreen reveals some information about himself.

Devil: I'm going to ask you first, who is the person you like best from this world?

Spreen: From this world?

Devil: Yes.

Spreen: My comrade Roier I honestly really like him a lot. We live together for now. And there's Missa too... My bros at home are the ones I like the best.

Devil: And would you betray Roier and Missa?

Spreen: Yeah, no problem.. Depends on what cost.

When told to list the first three acts of misdeeds that come to his mind that he could commit against his fellow islanders, he includes on the list killing one of their pets. When asked by the Devil what he'd do to someone he cherishes, like Roier or Missa, Spreen replies that he'd kill them relentlessly to the point of exhaustion and to where they log off the server. Spreen asks the Devil what he'd give him in exchange for such a misdeed, and this is where the Devil proposes a plan.

Devil: Wait a moment. Does Roier have any type of pet?

Spreen: I really don't know. I think he has a cat but I don't know if it's his or Missa's.

The Devil says to find out specifically if Roier has any pets he cherishes and if that pet has a name. Giving him a piece of paper and telling him that if the pet doesn't have a name, then either name it himself or ensure Roier names it. Stating that if Spreen gathered that information he'd give him the sky and anything he could ever want. He also mentioned he'd be observing and watching Spreen from the other side while he tries to gather that information from Roier.

Now after this, Spreen heads off to his home with Roier and Missa, and Roier offers him a taco, which he gladly accepts.

— The Clips —

Further details on what is going on in the video are in the sections below. These sections include additional context and information that was not included in the video itself, which are vital to grasping the full picture of this arc.

— The Lie —

Spreen begins telling Roier that he's decided he wants to be a veterinarian and open a vet on the island. However, he wants to take a count of who on the island has pets as a form of data to see if the business would do well. So he asks Roier if he has a pet of his own. With the context provided, we know that this was a lie to find out the information assigned to him by the Devil. Roier replies that he has a dog in a cage that he has yet to tame, then proceeds to set it free and tame the dog. He names it Firusflais. Spreen tells Roier that, as a veterinarian, he shouldn't leave the dog inside a cage all day, but Roier disagrees, saying that his dog is different and likes being left inside the cage in his backpack. Spreen prods Roier further about the matter, and Roier reveals that he prefers keeping his pets in his inventory and not out in the open, like Missa's cat, out of fear of the pet being killed by someone else. Spreen disagrees, saying that Roier has a keypad door, so it's unlikely to happen. Roier then mentions that the only people who can enter the home through the keypad door are Spreen, Mariana, Missa, and him. A symbol of those that hold his utmost trust.

— The Deal —

Spreen uses and mentions a bubble blower, which reminds Roier of the turtle racing bet in which he lost it to Spreen. They laugh about it, and Roier asks if Spreen would like to do another turtle racing bet. However, Roier questions Spreen's trustworthiness when it comes to how these races are done and the possibility of them being rigged. This is right when Spreen receives a private message from the Devil telling him he has 5 minutes to return to the bar alone to inform him of what he has learned.

Spreen quickly shuts down the accusations and says that Roier can pick the turtle himself and where the race takes place. Roier then suggests the idea of doing a test race with a taco on the line. Spreen says he doesn't want to do all the work of setting up a turtle race for a simple taco. Roier defensively says that the taco isn't something to be taken lightly and took a lot of work to craft. Spreen sarcastically agrees and says it's only 5 ingredients. Roier decides to challenge Spreen to go gather all the ingredients and craft a taco himself in just ten minutes if it's so easy, and if he somehow accomplishes this, then he'll give him 100 subs. Spreen quickly agrees, stating that he'll bring all the ingredients to Roier and craft the taco in his face.

And just like that, a bet is made.

After Spreen leaves to find the ingredients, Roier reassures the voices that there is no way that Spreen could find all of the ingredients in time. The only possible way would be if Spreen sneaked into his garden to gather the ingredients.

Some further reasoning as to why Roier so confidently bet 100 subs can be looked at through two lenses. Through the meta-explanation and through a character analysis. In meta, Roier fully knew that the previous day he had spent hours trying to gather the proper ingredients to craft that taco, so logically, he knew there was no feasible way for Spreen to do the same in just ten minutes. Through his character, it makes sense for him to fully trust qSpreen in this bet, as they had done previous bets when turtle racing and qSpreen had proven himself to be an honorable man. Not just that, but qSpreen and qRoier held a tight bond in which he never could've imagined his friend lying and deceiving him. We see evidence of this bond several times days prior, but specifically in moments where you realize the importance of Roier allowing Spreen to live with him and have access to that keypad door. The same goes for Spreen when he states that one of the two people he values most is Roier.

While Spreen is off, Roier decides to complete his deal with Osito Bimbo and craft the 10 tacos and 3 chimichangas.

As Spreen exits the house and walks towards the bar, he states that now he knows what he'll ask the Devil in exchange for killing Roier’s dog. In other words, he'll ask for the taco ingredients. When he arrives at the bar, Spreen informs the Devil of everything that occurred with the dog and the deal and says that he'll do anything to that dog as long as the Devil helps him with the taco. The Devil says it's a deal as long as Spreen kills not just Roier's dog but also Missa's cat with the taco in his hand. As well as Spreen gifting 20 of those 100 subs to him. Spreen seems taken aback by this for a moment, questioning the addition of Missa’s cat to the chaos before regaining his composure and saying it seems like a good deal. Spreen talks to the voices for a moment, reassuring them and informing them of his plan.

Spreen: I don't want to kill Missa's cat, dude. I'm going to do something. I'm going to do something people, this is a round deal. I'm going to kill Missa's cat without Roier seeing and I'm going to replace it with a cat of the same breed. The issue is that when Missa comes he won't see it so l'm going to put it in a cage and I'm going to leave it placed inside the cage there, okay? Then when he takes the cat out of the cage Missa is going to say, "Hey why didn't I adopt him?". And he's going to start thinking and he's going to be suspicious but he's not going to understand what's going on. So we're going to replace Missa's cat, and then Roier's dog I'm going to fuck him up right there with the taco in my hand. And while we're at it, we're going to fuck up Roier too by getting 100 subs out of him with this taco thing. So don't worry. I've got it all figured out.

This moment in particular is one of the times where you can see how much of a mastermind qSpreen really is and how his mind works. Someone not to be messed with. However, the one fatal flaw in this entire ordeal is that he underestimated Roier's experiences with that taco. With the knowledge of what happens after all this occurs when Spreen is explaining his plan you realize they were all doomed the second he agreed to that deal. It was just a matter of time.

After the Devil hands Spreen the ingredients for the taco, he informs him that he only has 15 minutes to kill Missa's cat and Roier's dog. He sets off back to Roier in a hurry, as he only had 5 minutes left to complete the taco deal with Roier. The Devil then quickly reminds him that if he doesn't complete the misdeed, he'll be punished.

— Doubt —

Spreen arrives at Roier's home immediately, telling him that he's awful at making bets as he hands him the ingredients for the taco. Roier is incredibly shocked and confused before quickly starting to question how and where Spreen had found all the ingredients. Spreen doesn't budge and starts claiming Roier had simply done a worse job looking for the ingredients than him and that that was all there was to it. He asks for the 100 subs and the taco itself; however, Roier continues to question him specifically about where he found the tomatillo, salt, and what he needed to craft the salsa. Spreen continues to lie, and Roier takes note of this. Roier then begins calling Spreen a liar as Spreen continues to not inform Roier of how he honestly got the ingredients.

Roier: Who gave you all of this? Where did you get this, asshole?

Spreen: Dude I got it on my own. Stop lying. I find it disrespectful that you're lying to me with the fact that-

Roier: I find it disrespectful that after what we've been through, Spreen, you're lying to me, dude.

Spreen: You're lying to me, asshole because you bet something and you're not delivering.

The situation quickly escalates as Roier hands Spreen his globe and tells him he's allowed to take it from their home before he beats him up for lying to him. This globe Spreen had specifically acquired his second day on the island and was a valued item of his. *(1) Spreen tells him not to start with him as he pulls out an enchanted diamond sword as an intimidation tactic. The only enchantment on the sword being bane of arthropods.

Considering the qRoier spider hybrid depiction, | thought that detail was quite coincidental and ironic.

To which Roier responds by equipping a set of enchanted diamond armor with all but a pair of boots. Spreen sees this and hands him his own pair of enchanted diamond boots, taunting him. Spreen then demands to be paid the subs, and Roier refuses and spits on him. Spreen continues to demand for Roier to complete his part of the deal, but Roier suggests fighting for it instead. Spreen refuses to do this, as this wasn't part of the original deal. Soon after this, Roier finally says fine and that he'll gift Spreen the subs; however, he tells Spreen that he never mentioned when he'd gift him the subs. Spreen, upset by this, questions if this is really how Roier is going to handle the situation.

Spreen then swears to Roier that he had planned offstream to make tacos for his bar days prior, which is why he had the ingredients for the taco already. To back this up, he states that he had also, while offstream, made a structure for his new home, which he could show Roier as proof that he had been doing things offstream. Roier doesn't believe him but complies when Spreen offers to show him this supposed structure. As Roier follows Spreen, he says he wants to contact his lawyer Quackity. Spreen then shows Roier the structure and continues with his lie, stating that the same day he was constructing his home, he spent 5 hours online and went looking for the tomatillo. Roier's suspicions do not subside, and he says again that he'll have to speak with his lawyer since he doesn't believe him. Spreen isn't particularly fond of the lawyer idea, saying that Roier is complicating his day and he just wants the issue to be resolved quickly. In the context of the deal, we know this is because he still needed to kill the pets and is wasting time with this dispute. He had wasted 8 of the 15 minutes he was given to kill the pets at this point.

— The Court Case —

After Roier messages Quackity for assistance with the situation, Quackity promptly arrives at Roier and Spreen's home. And Roier hands Quackity a taco as a gift. At this point, Spreen had 5 minutes on the clock to kill the cat and the dog. The Devil starts striking lightning around Spreen as a warning. Roier and Quackity become alarmed and question what is causing the lightning, while Spreen remains silent and tells them to hurry this up as he would like to leave for the day. Spreen tells his side of the story to Quackity, leaving out everything to do with the Devil, of course, and is once again reminded that time is ticking by the Devil. Specifically, he has 3 minutes to complete his side of the deal, or else the consequences will be severe. As well as to remember their blood pact.

Roier then begins to tell his side of the story while Spreen excuses himself to go to the bathroom. The Devil messages Spreen again, telling him that for every minute he exceeds the given time, he'll have to give away 1 more sub to him, or else his home, the one in construction, will completely disappear forever. During this bathroom break, Spreen walks into the home, apologizes to the cat, and kills it before quickly heading back to Quackity and Roier. 2 minutes left. The Devil reminds Spreen to kill Roier's dog with the taco in his hand as he had forgotten to kill the cat with the taco.

Quackity hears both sides of the story and calls for a testimony from a witness. The witness being Quackity himself, who was not present for the situation when it occurred. As a witness, Quackity states that Roier is in the wrong, as obtaining a taco is not difficult at all. He comes to this conclusion because, having logged in for just a couple minutes, he had acquired a taco. This taco, of course, was the one Roier had gifted him minutes prior. This leaves Roier shocked and betrayed by a friend who he trusted would take his side in this dispute. Roier then questions Quackity about how he got the taco, knowing full well that he had given him that taco.

Roier: And how did you find that? How did you find that Quackity?

Quackity: It was very easy, very easy. I grabbed a tortilla and put the ingredients inside. It was very easy.

Now from Roier's POV this may seem very coincidental and perhaps a planned action by Spreen and Quackity but to clarify not once did Spreen whisper to Quackity to help him or tell him to choose his side for some type of a reward. This was purely their actions lining up and causing a massive impact on Roier and his trust in them.

Spreen states he's hungry and asks Quackity for the taco and Quackity hands it to him. Spreen does this so that he could have a taco to kill the dog.

Quackity now serving as the role of the judge comes to the conclusion that Roier should be annexed for three weeks and would have to go to jail. Roier is left shocked and bewildered by this conclusion. Spreen quickly steps in and tells Quackity that those extremes would not have to be necessary as Roier is his comrade and that all he asks is for Roier to complete his side of the deal. The Devil starts counting down 30 seconds to Spreen so he adds that he would also like Roier to give him his dog on top of the subs. Roier confused asks why his dog and Spreen just says he wants the dog again.

After some discussion Roier agrees to give Spreen his dog as long as he doesn't have to pay the subs. Spreen refuses to accept this negotiation. Roier states that he doesn't have the dog with him and that it's currently at the vet. Spreen however knowing this to be wrong as Roier earlier placed the caged dog in his backpack in front of him continues pressing further for the dog. Quackity then says Spreen is entitled to take physical and violent action against Roier if he refuses to complete his part of the deal. Roier starts exclaiming that Quackity is corrupted and that he had trusted him. That he had trusted both Quackity and Spreen. Asking whats wrong with them and saying that they aren't normally like this. With 3 seconds on the clock, Spreen, having heard what Quackity said about being allowed to take violent action, takes this as a green light and begins attacking Roier.

— The Hunt —

Spreen hits Roier first with his iron axe and Roier begins fleeing stating that he won't pay anything and that they're in the wrong. Spreen shouts to Roier saying that he has to help him. Roier then shouts saying this isn’t how things work. Spreen hits him again and he whimpers. 17 hearts. Quackity following behind Spreen tells Roier to pay him so that this will all be over. Roier says he won't keep discussing or hand over the dog until Spreen calms down. So Quackity tries to ask Spreen to calm down but he doesn't. Another hit. 14.5 hearts. Roier exclaims that he's going to die and begins running out of flat space to run. Hit. 12 hearts. Quackity says that he knows he's meant to be his lawyer but to give up the dog already. Hit again. 9 hearts. And another one. 7 hearts. And another. 4 hearts. Roier begins shouting that he had trusted Quackity over and over. Quackity once again says to hand over the dog and Roier refuses. He says that they're wrong again. Then Spreen downs Roier. Spreen begins shouting at Roier saying to hand over the dog or else he'll kill him. And right as Roier gives up and agrees to hand over the dog Spreen lands the final blow killing Roier. The chase takes 1 minute and 34 seconds.

Spreen then takes the cage from Roier's body and starts killing the dog with the taco. Quackity tries to protest and get him to stop but it's ineffective and the dog dies anyway. Spreen tells Quackity that it was inevitable and he had to do it. As well as that Roier would not find out. Unbeknownst to Spreen that Roier got notified in chat that his pet had been killed. As Roier begins to feel saddened by the death he tells himself that he cannot get like this. Spreen in the meantime receives a message by the Devil telling him to meet him at the bar in less than 5 minutes.

— The Hurt —

After being killed, Roier spawns thousands of blocks away due to having set his spawn in a dungeon he had done days prior, so he breaks the bed and allows a zombie to kill him. In fact, he begins begging for the zombies to kill him, exclaiming that he's tired of this life. When his death to the zombies is shown in chat Quackity types laughter as a response in chat, and Roier takes note of this behavior, stating that it's fine and that he had trusted Quackity. He goes on to say that the hurt he feels isn't even because of the loss of his pet, but because of the trust and friendship he lost with Quackity and Spreen. Describing the situation as a betrayal he never would've expected of Quackity and even less of Spreen.

Roier: If he (Spreen) wanted money I could've given it to him, I hope it'll be more worthwhile for him to have earned that money now that he has lost my friendship.

After Roier returns to his body, a few snarky comments get thrown by Spreen before he leaves.

Quackity: (Looking through Roier's backpack) My god 40 diamonds! Only diamond armor bro.

Roier: Go on. If you want to rob it from me, rob it from me if you want to. It's fine.

Spreen: No, my friend, nobody is robbing anything from you. Not like you who tries to rob from others with your fake bets. (Walks away)

Quackity sticks with Roier, trying to ensure that his friend isn't too mad at him for the events that unfolded. Roier, however, remains clearly upset. When he gets his backpack back from Quackity, he notices that he took all his food and tacos. He asks Quackity if he has taken his food, and while blatantly lying, Quackity says no. Quackity then offers Roier his own food back at him.

Quackity: Do you want food? Look I'II give you some. (Gives Roier 31 toast)

Roier: Yeah I'd like that. A bit of food.

Quackity: No worries, no worries. You know thats what friends are for.

Roier: What did you say?

Quackity: You know thats what friends are for Roier. Don't worry.

Roier: What friends are for?

Quackity: Yeah, to give food to one another-

Roier: For what you did back there? Is that what friends are for?

Quackity then asks where his thank you is for having helped him with the dispute with Spreen. Roier doesn't say thank you. Quackity then tells Roier that he won't charge him for the legal representation.

Quackity: For the legal representation. I'm not going to charge you because you're a close friend. You're a close friend.

Roier: It's a good thing I'm a close friend, because if I was an enemy, just imagine.

Quackity: Oh shit yeah, no, imagine! No, no, no.

Roier: Imagine how it would have gone.

Roier continues to be noticeably upset through his tone of voice, and Quackity once again asks if he's doing alright, and Roier continues to act as if everything is fine.

VOD 4 | Meanwhile, Spreen goes to the bar and finds the devil waiting for him. He's quickly informed that he passed the test and that the contract between them has been finalized. The Devil expresses that he's forgiven for going over the set time because he killed the dog and Roier as well. Which was done in such a brilliant manner that it satisfied the Devil.

Devil: You have literally sold your soul. You have done evil against a friend you love and I love that, so congratulations you have passed the test.

The Devil leaves swiftly, and Spreen decides to return to his friends.

This is when the Angel appears in front of Roier and Quackity, saying that he's looking for someone who doesn't belong to this world, specifically a red being. Roier then shows that he has a red hoodie, and the Angel asks him to step closer so he can get a better look at him. As he steps onto a block closer, the Angel breaks the one below Roier, and he falls to his death and is downed.

Spreen decides he wants to apologize to Roier for acting impulsively. Right then, he sees the downed message in chat and stumbles upon Quackity laughing as the Angel comes up with excuses for his actions. Spreen tells them he wants to apologize to Roier over what occurred with the bet and where he could find Roier. Quackity, still laughing, doesn't answer quickly enough before Spreen notices Roier had been tricked and is down below them. Spreen water drops and misses landing on two hearts. He picks Roier up, hands him food, and says he's there to say his sorries. Explaining that he was acting impulsively and let the situation overcome him. He then hands Roier his globe as a gift. And in a way for Spreen, it served as a symbol of his honest apology to his closest friend. Roier, however, is unfazed.

The Angel then decides to take Quackity, Roier, and Spreen on a fun adventure. During this, Roier remains in an upset mood while Spreen and Quackity try to mend whatever is left of their friendship. In one moment, Spreen asks if Roier wants any food, and Roier says no, but Spreen still hands him a golden apple. The Angel decides to gift Roier a pet dog so that he can feel better and because animals make people happy. Roier says thank you, and then Spreen and Roier stare at each other in silence as Spreen blows bubbles. As some meta commentary, Rubius plays both the Devil and the Angel and his decision to gift Roier a dog as the Angel after having orchestrated the entire plan to kill his previous dog as the Devil. Sick and twisted. I was jaw-dropped by this the first time watching. Love it. Quackity then gifts Roier two tacos to try and make him happy. It doesn't work.

The Angel asks the group what'd make them happy, and Spreen says confessing his sins, so they begin doing a group confession. Spreen begins by sharing that he killed a dog, a cat, and a friend. And additionally mentions the illegal turtle racing. The Angel forgives him. Quackity then goes to the podium and confesses to doing a poor legal job representing someone. The Angel forgives him. The Angel then encourages Roier to confess, as he sees darkness in his soul that needs to be purified. Stating that God himself told the Angel on WhatsApp to help Roier. The Angel tells Roier that he needs to do something good for someone who wronged him today. Specifically, he needs to gift Spreen a named pet. Saying that doing this will benefit him in the future. Roier agrees. Spreen already had a tiger in his backpack that he wanted as a pet, so he sets it free and allows Roier to recapture it so that he can gift it to him as a pet. Roier names it Algodón de Azúcar or Cotton Candy. Spreen is grateful then logs off at this point. It is important to note that he doesn't end up doing the replacement plan of Missa's cat.

Roier then continues to hang out with Quackity. Whenever Quackity wasn't talking, he'd give him a death glare, which would quickly shift into a smile with a joyous tone of voice when it came his turn to speak and continue the conversation.

Had to include a gif. It's too good.

As they arrive at Quackity's home, Roier pulls out an enchanted iron sword with murderous intent before putting the sword away. They spend the rest of the day together, and Roier is able to act perfectly fine around Quackity while still holding onto that anger and grudge by the time they say goodbye.

— The Aftermath —

VOD 5 | The following day, Roier continues to show his distrust for Quackity and with Spreen stating at one point that one of the few people who hasn't betrayed him and who he can truly trust is Vegetta. As well as Missa and Mariana. Mentioning that he does believe Mariana could betray him at some point, but as of that point in time, he had not, so they're on good terms. He considers whether he should tell Vegetta about what happened to him with Spreen and Quackity. While on the way to Vegetta's home, he gets attacked by a mob and gets overcome with sadness, saying that it reminded him of the day before when he was being attacked and killed.

After greeting Vegetta, he offers him some tacos as a gift, telling him that they were quite difficult to craft. And Vegetta looks at the recipe and agrees, deciding to cherish them. This is a direct contrast to Spreen's reaction to them.

Roier then tells Vegetta he was betrayed and asks for advice and if Vegetta would like to know who the people are. Vegetta says no, saying he'd rather not involve himself too much so he can offer unbiased assistance. Vegetta does agree to help him and then advises Roier to place a bunch of mines in the homes of these people.

Vegetta and Roier then set off to do dungeons together. After they finish, they find Quackity at spawn with Fit, and Roier decides to tell Vegetta that he's upset with Quackity but is going to act friendly when in reality he wants to kill him. Vegetta understands and goes along with this. They spy on their conversation but once they're caught Vegetta and Roier decide to shower Fit and Quackity with gifts, while Roier purposefully keeps referring to Quackity as his friend.

Roier keeps playing the act of being on friendly terms with Quackity until Vegetta logs off. Once he's back home, he removes Spreen from the keypad door whitelist. Then, after some thought, he re-adds him to the whitelist as to give off the impression of their friendship being intact while he plans to stab him in the back.

Quackity then shows up at Roier's home, and they have a conversation.

Quackity: The other day something happened that has greatly separated your friendship and mine.

Roier: Of course, of course.

Quackity: And I just want to make sure that there are no future problems between us. And I just wanted to reassure that part of our friendship.

Roier: (Crosses fingers) Rest assured, rest assured.

Quackity: Perfect. Because if anything happens to me... (Steps closer) I'll have someone to blame.

Roier: Of course, don't worry.

Quackity: Do you have enemies?

Roier: No, not at all.

Quackity: I hope it stays that way. I'm leaving. And remember not to mess with me.

Roier: I won't mess with anyone.

(Quackity leaves)

Roier: Don't worry Quackity. Don't worry Quackity. I won't be the one to do anything to you no, no, no, no, no, that's going to be you Quackity. That's gonna be you. Don't worry. I'm not even gonna touch you. I'm not even gonna touch you Quackity. You'll see. You'll see.

— The Cat —

Missa logs in after a few days of not being online and quickly notices his cat is missing. He looks around the entire house and doesn't find the cat, so he asks in chat where Roier is. Roier says he's on the way to talk to him.

Roier returns home to greet Missa and is immediately questioned by him about the whereabouts of his cat. Roier decides he has to break the news to him about what occurred with Spreen and Quackity. He tells Missa how he was betrayed, humiliated, and had his dog killed, which is likely the same fate Missa's cat suffered. Missa doesn't take this well and shouts what his cat had to do with any of it. Roier says he doesn't know, but that they were betrayed. Missa says that there's probably a misunderstanding. Since the cat had brought nothing but peace to their home, how could someone have hurt him? Roier agrees, saying that his dog too is gone. Missa shouts to hell with his dog since he never met him. Roier then starts retelling everything that happened to Missa, from the start with the tacos to the end with the axe in his back. Missa isn't understanding: instead, he begins blaming everything on Roier because surely there has to be a misunderstanding.

Missa: Spreen is my brother. Spreen wouldn't do something like that.

Roier: But he did. He did Missa.

Missa then starts considering every possibility except reality. He wonders if it was even the real Spreen and Quackity; perhaps they were imposters, but Roier tells him to accept that it was them. Missa doesn't stop; he says that something is wrong; something must have happened, as Spreen would never. Then he says that maybe their dream of making a taqueria shouldn't be done. Roier doesn't accept this, however, saying that even Vegetta understands that they must do a taqueria. Roier then tells Missa that he'll get revenge on Spreen and Quackity, even if Missa doesn't want revenge because they were the ones that beat and hurt him. He continues telling Missa that he's going to keep pretending to be their friend and, when they least expect it, betray them as they did him. Missa says not to do something he'll regret. Missa, in his fit of despair and sadness over the loss of his cat, says that he cannot keep living in that home with Roier. Once again Missa blames everything on Roier, he goes on to say that this was all because of Roier's desire for tacos.

Missa: All because of your desire for tacos. Roier this is all your fault if you hadn't- if you hadn't planned on making a taqueria..

After saying this, Missa goes to leave, but before that, Roier asks if Missa is really going to leave him alone like that. Missa says that he isn't alone; he has his tacos and then walks out of the house they built with a future together in mind. A future that no longer existed from that moment forward.

Roier stays silent for a while before he says, "Not you too, Missa." He, in a fit of rage, starts breaking the trail of poppies Osito Bimbo had left him. In disbelief that any of this had happened.

Roier: Missa, Spreen, Quackity, who's next? Mariana? Is Mariana next? I only have Vegetta and Mariana. I only have Vegetta and Mariana.

In the end, Roier is left alone without his dog, without the cat, without Spreen, and without Missa.

VOD 6 | Missa, after having composed himself, concludes that while he doesn't believe Spreen would hurt his cat, he also doesn't want to fight with Roier. So he runs to their home to say sorry, but once he arrives, Roier is no longer there. Minutes too late, as Roier had logged off. So instead, he leaves a chest with a poppy inside as a sign that there's no bad blood between them. As well as a sign saying it's for Roier.

What's important to mention is that Missa had a heavy amount of trust placed in Spreen because it was his brother, and he couldn't fathom Spreen doing something so terrible. Something quite ironic about the cat is that Roier was the one who warned Missa not to adopt a cat in case anyone used it against them. *(2) Explaining that an emotional attachment to a cat would only open the possibility of hurt in the future. And in the end, that is exactly what happened.

— Citations —

*(1) VOD | Spreen finding the globe. 1:42:32

*(2) VOD | Roier warning Missa about adopting a cat. 4:15:13

All the other information can be found in the respective VODs linked.

[thetravelingtyper]

On The Same Page Pt 8 (Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader Bookshop! AU)

With Simon, Sam, Sofia, and Kyle, you divulge your past relationship with James...

Part 7, Part 9, Masterlist

Warnings! Allusions to Cheating

AN! This chapter isn't as complex as I wanted it to be due to a massive writer's block, but all the points are there!

I stood alone, upon the platform in vain

The Puerto Ricans, they were playing me salsa in the rain

With open doors and manual locks

In fast-food parking lots

It was about your 2nd or 3rd month in when you were starting to finalize your old draft. The tale was a hit in the children's department, test prints at the local library were eaten up and parents were chomping at the bits for more. You had been out in the courtyard, sitting in the shade with your papers, some books and your Corsair set aside, when you heard a smooth voice talking into a phone. 

“I know it is due - come on you know me, Sir, I'll find something.” 

There is the sound of steady footsteps as you look up. They get louder on the cobbled path as a man approaches. You cock your head as he mutters something before pausing in his walk to run a hand through blond hair. There is something handsome about him you think at the moment, he is tall, taller than Sam, and broad. But he carries himself tightly, coiled like a spring and you frown. You shrug, spinning the pen in your hand before reaching out to the colored manuscript before you. It's the turning of the page that has the man finally clock you. He was taken aback for a moment, head tilting down to regard you in the shimmering shade of the tree. You are engrossed in scattered illustrations, rough concept art trailing over glossy pages. Blue eyes then catch the typewriter as your hands seek it without a glace, like a steady friend grasping for comfort. 

He watches your eyes lighten then when you focus on it, fingers pressing into ivory keys with a steading thrumming click. He runs his hand to his chin in thought before his phone rings again calling your attention to your watcher. Your wide eyes focus on him then and he feels a pulse of his heart. You were beautiful and he curses mentally before answering his phone. His voice is steady but you can hear the frustration, he mutters an affirmative before hanging up again. His eyes then meet yours and you give him a small, if hesitant, smile. He returns it with a charming grin and he approaches the shade of the tree.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, I hadn’t realized you were there.” He reaches the edge of the path before taking a booted step into the grass. He wears a formal white dress shirt sharply tucked into a pair of dark jeans and you take him in further. The fabric at his shoulders is taunt on his form but not unfitting, and the unevenness of his collar suggests a suit or other type of jacket. Given the cool weather of fall, you were not surprised. The topmost buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned leaving sun-tanned skin and a strong collarbone. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up a quarter showing clear forearms and a slim silver watch. He watches your observation, stepping to the edge of the blanket you had sprawled out.

He motions to a clear space across from you, and debating you nod. He easily clears your Corsair before stepping into the clear space and settling down into a comfortable position. He smiles at your silent acceptance and you give a light ‘good afternoon’ fidgeting lightly with the pen in your grasp, unsure of how to progress. He senses this and offers you a hand over the manuscript. 

“James, James Marin.” His accent deepens a little bit at the ‘r’ of his last name and you take his hand and give a firm shake replying with your name. He rewards it with a winning smile. 

“You must be the new children’s author. I am sorry I am so late in coming to meet you. I have heard a lot about your recent success in the stores, congratulations.”

You speak up after collecting yourself offering him a shy smile under the praise.  His eyes remain on yours before flickering to a rough sketch of a dragon. The wyrm swirls in a vortex of color its scales shining in the gloss of the page. You notice and explain the concept of your first book. James listens dutifully as you break down a world of dragons and knights. You become more and more animated when you start showing him your rough sketches in the manuscript. There are dragons, female knights, and a saintly queen. Next to them, there are notes marked in ballpoint and some metallic sharpie, the gold font glimmering in the sun.

As you finish your tale you find James with a fond smile on his face that makes you a little flustered. You offer him the book and he takes it tenderly, fingers brushing yours with a spark. 

“I like this,” he says it confidently and the praise has your heart lifting, “I like this a lot. Have you brought this outside the children’s department?”

You shake your head. You were only a few weeks into the business. You didn't want to overstep boundaries or step on any toes.

James chuckles, 

“I understand you’re new but I think you have something good here and I want to present it to the higher-ups. Who do you work under?”

You answer with Sofia’s name and he nods in confirmation.

“You know what, we should do dinner sometime. Bring your manuscript and supplies and we can come up with a plan of attack together! If that sounds alright with you?”

He smiles at you and you nod, a little caught off guard, but the chance to wedge yourself in a little higher is one you would definitely take. 

“Sure, that sounds nice.”

He gives you a winning smile at that.

“Its a deal doll.”

-

Sofia sighs after you recount this meeting. She leans forward, setting an elbow on her knee and her head in her palm. 

“That man.” She says it in exasperation a hint of sad fondness. You frown with a heavy sigh and continue.

-

I headed West, I was a man on the move

New York had lied to me, I needed the truth

Oh, I need somebody, I needed someone I could trust

I don't gamble, but if I did I would bet on us

The meeting was a success, you and James worked over a consecutive month to present your book to the board. There was a moment of silence before a smile lit up the face of the lead of the children's department. 

After the meeting, she pulled you aside with a grin.

“That was the most fun I’ve had in a while with a story. Sofia was right in taking you under her wing.” She then turns to James, “James. I want you to keep working with her and Sofia.” 

She sets a hand on your shoulder,

“I am proud. Good work kid.”

You and James left the department suite, and you collapsed against the wall with a heavy breath. James's hand comes to your shoulder for support.

“You ok?”

“That was insane!”

He laughs a rich deep laugh one that seeps into your bones and you look up to him. He gives you a secret smile, eyes flickering over your face before returning to yours. 

“You know, I think a celebratory dinner is in order, my treat.” He offers and you look up to him in surprise, a hand comes to the back of his neck then before he adds,

“If you wouldn’t mind me taking you out.”

A blush hits your face and your heart skips a beat. You were not going to deny the mutual attraction between the two of you. His hand sprawls out over your shoulder. You nod an affirmative,

“I’d like that.”

- 

Like the Dead Sea

You told me I was like the Dead Sea

You'll never sink when you are with me

Oh Lord, like the Dead Sea 

That dinner passes into another and another and soon enough you find yourself developing feelings for the man.

A few dates in you both make it quietly official and during a bookstore tour of your first published book, James meets Sam. Both men get a long swimmingly sharing both affection for you and a solid understanding of business logistics. You practically have to pull James back from a debate with Sam and you both step out into the street. Your arm tucked in his you stroll the water-streaked street. The Sunday is quiet, the sound of a passing car breaking up the sound of lingering pedestrians every once in a while. However, as you turn the block you stumble upon masses of color. 

Set up in an empty lot is a vibrant and busy farmers market. You smile up at James and he chuckles, allowing you to pull him into the stalls. There are fresh ingredients, tomatoes, and strawberries, and your eye catches a gleaming orange gradient. You leave the food and pull James to the neighboring stall, flowers and assorted blooms everywhere the eye can see. Your eyes pass peonies, lavender, and roses to find a single bouquet of sunflowers. Your heart lifts and pulling your hand free you tenderly lift the bouquet to your chest.

It is a collection of annuals, A warm orange fading into a brown at the center. You take in the smell of sunflower fields and open skies and they remind you of home. You turn back to James in excitement but find him looking at you intently. There is a small smile on his face and when he meets your eyes his crinkle. He pulls out his wallet and hands a bill over to the florist. The older woman watches the two of you intently when you look at him with wide eyes in surprise. James returns his wallet to his pocket and opens his arms, tucking you in them, and with a quiet goodbye to the woman you both continue on your way. 

The months pass into a steady relationship, spring turning into summer. 

-

Whoa, I'm like the Dead Sea

Finest words you ever said to me

Honey, can't you see?

I was born to be, be your Dead Sea

Sam is out of town for a week and James is over for dinner. You tend to the pan in front of you when you hear James pad into the kitchen. You turn taking in the appearance of your boyfriend shirtless and in a pair of sweats. You raise a brow.

“You used my shampoo?”

James looks like he's been caught red-handed before an easy grin surfaces,

“Smells like you sweetheart.”

You roll your eyes and he laughs before stepping behind you and pulling you flush against him. You relax against the muscle of his torso, his head leaning on yours. You both sway in the quiet moment. He pulls back and spins you easily in his arms before looking at you intently.

Minding the pan you smile up at him and his heart quivers. He swallows, for once caught off guard. You cock your head confused hand reaching for his face. James’s face is rough from not shaving for a few days, but he leans into your hand anyway. He presses a delicate kiss to your palm before reaching to turn off the stove.

He chuckles then, swallowing his feelings with the laugh.

“The chicken is done.”

Your eyes widen and you try to spin to address dinner but James cages you in his arms playfully. You wiggle in protest and he eventually lets you go to tend to the food. He backs up and just watches as you return to working on the food, emotion simmering in his heart. Later that night you were getting ready for bed after a shower. Leaving the hall bathroom you enter your room to find James sitting on your bed deep in thought, to the point he doesn't realize you entered. You call his name softly and his head darts up to you.

“Are you alright?”

He exhales shakily but smiles, a soft smile that speaks to your heart.

“I am sweetheart. I love you.”

- 

You exhale pausing at the moment with a clenched chest. Sofia takes your other hand and squeezes it. Your eyes meet Sam who is tense, leaning back with an unreadable expression on his face. You find Kyle listening intently, a concerned frown on his face. Simon has shifted closer to you, and the ottoman quietly scooted to bump up next to your chair. With his height he is able to rest the elbow of the hand connected to yours on the armrest, gradually having inched himself into your space. 

You lift your hands and Simon meets your eyes, then glancing to his position he seems a little surprised to be so close. He moves to scoot back but you tug his arm lightly and set your head on his shoulder. His eyes widen a fraction before softening, relaxing into the side of the chair for support.

-

You told me you were good at running away

Domestic life, it never suited you like a suitcase

You left with just the clothes on your back

Took the rest when you took a nap

Summer brings sunflowers in fall. The success of your first book sweeps you into a little tour. Both Sofia and  James join you while Sam remained home to work on a large project for his company. You three spend days exploring the American East Coast, visiting both local and chain bookstores and community libraries. You tended especially to the children readers. While Sofia was handling business James would watch from the sidelines as you were engaged with the kids. While the plot of your book was simple the poems in it allowed for intrigue from older kids. And on this particularly warm day in Boston this is where James found you. 

You sat in a pair of jeans and a blouse with a dragon stuffie in your lap. The children watch in fascination as you read, showing fully illustrated pictures and making voices. Eventually, at the end of your tale one of the younger children, dressed in a lion onesie, points to the good queens and asks,

“Are you a queen?” 

You are about to keel over from the cuteness and are about to answer when James steps in and takes a seat next to you.

“Yea, she’s my queen.” He raises a brow in humor when all of the kids give a collective gasp and he presses a kiss to the side of your head. 

-

Yes, there are times we live for somebody else

Your father died and you decided to live

It for yourself, you felt, you just felt it was time

And I'm glad, 'cause you with cats, that's just not right

Months later you were both cooking dinner, the entire night James was off, nervous. As you both work around the kitchen the man keeps checking his phone. Worry gnaws at your stomach and you ask if he is alright. James smiles at you and nods before going to take a call.

You were in the drafting stage of your second and honestly most favorite book. James had been with you every step of the way. He was like a liaison between you and the head of the department and often would play devil's advocate for your literary decisions. 

A song pulls you from your memories as you add the final ingredients to the simmer.

You moved to turn the record player up as James reentered the kitchen. He pauses on the phone, taking in the sight of you in a sundress and cooking. His voice pauses in his throat as the faded light of spring catches the blushing reds and yellows of the florals. 

Blue eyes darken as he hangs up the phone with a hushed later. He then approaches you with love welling up in his chest before pulling you into a dance.

-

Like the Dead Sea

You told me I was like the Dead Sea

You'll never sink when you are with me

Oh Lord, I'm your Dead Sea

A year and a half into your time at the company you found yourself in the courtyard surrounded by coworkers and fans. Your second book has been a success! Covered tables were scattered around the yard. There was a calm chatter in the air with a string of excitement that pulsed as you walked around mingling. You were dazzling James thought. The man paced back and forth through the crowd eyes turning to you naturally as he fumbled with the box in his pocket.

Later in the evening, you are standing with Sam when James approaches. Something in his eyes flashes and Sam nods. He presses a kiss to the side of your head and mentions going to Sofia. You nod, and as he leaves James runs a hand to yours.

“I want to show you something.”

Your head tilts at the tone of his voice, a sure seriousness you aren’t used to in the man. You nod to him nonetheless. He leads you into the dark beyond the light of the tables and small venue. You trace a cobbled path to the location of the oak tree. He pauses a moment before grinning at you and reaching for a spot on the tree and then there's brilliance.

He hits a button and flashes of lights like drizzled starlight trace its way up the tree. You gasp, the limbs of the tree alight with figures from your book, illustrations like stained glass dancing with the alternating flickering light. Your eyes follow the gleam of ruby, the shaded underside of wings to emerald scales on a whirling dragon. 

You look at the tree in awe before feeling James dip down, you turn to him and your breathing spikes, he is down on one knee! There is the reflection of stories in his eyes as he starts with a breathy version of your name. His voice is a little shaky as he continues, watching your eyes widen and tears fill your eyes.

“-you have been my everything. Meeting you that day felt like fate intervened. You've taught me that the most powerful stories are the ones told from the heart, and you epitomize that truth. Through working with the kids, the tours, and countless long hours, I've witnessed not only your boundless love and creativity but also realized how much I need your stories in my life. Will you marry me?"

You can barely choke out a yes when there is cheering and you find the guests and your coworkers have found you. You see Sam and Sofia filming and smiling and James slides the ring on your finger before spinning you into an embrace.

-

Simon's hand clenches yours as you have to take a pause after recounting the moment, tears welling a little bit. You turn your forehead against his shoulder and his other head comes up to caress your cheek. You breathe in a shaky breath and lean into the warmth of his hand, heart raising as the taller man turns to look down at you. The others are drowned out by the hazel of his eye. A moment later you blink and with a nod to Sam, you continue.

-

Whoa, I'm like the Dead Sea (dead sea)

The nicest words you ever said to me (said to me)

Honey, can't you see?

I was born to be, be your Dead Sea

A few easy months passed in happiness on your part, but as you progressed on your third book, James got called onto other projects, namely YA and NA book tours. This meant working closely with your biggest headache in the company, Sabrina. While you had tried your best to interact with her, her consistent brushing off of children's authors and favoritism towards her own interests irked you. You and Sarah were the only two who didn't bother engaging with her unless necessary. Moreover, Sabrina’s consistent interest in James didn't go unnoticed.

James was partnered with her for her tour, and while he maintained a respectful distance, Sabrina would often stubbornly take his arm or pass a hand over his arm when moving past him. Despite this, you respected and trusted your partner and thought nothing of it.

However, after the tour, the late nights began. You knew they worked well together through the talk of her publicist, who gossiped like a little girl.

“They really nailed that final report! Goodness me, they work wonderfully together!” she would say.

The late nights concerned you, but James always reassured you with a firm peck on the forehead, insisting there was nothing to worry about. He still made it home in time for dinner. However, things tipped eventually as the gala was announced.

You were swept into the preparation for a children's author section when you noticed odd things. As James prepared for work, he would often leave the kitchen to take a call, returning 10 to 15 minutes later with a smug smile on his face. When you asked what happened, he would always reply with “successful business.”

As the months trudged on, James became more absent, missing dinner first with super apologetic messages, then skipping work lunches to take up work in his office. Sabrina made more motions to interact with you too. You thought it was for the sake of the committee, but something in the pit of your stomach simmered in warning at the flash of her teeth in a smile.

A month before the event, there was a weekend trip for the NA authors and James was invited. As he packed his bag, you stood with your arms folded in the door frame.

“Be sure to text me when you guys get to the retreat.”

He nodded absentmindedly, his blue eyes turning to you and noticing your tense posture. Something in him softened as he came to you and pulled you into his arms.

“It’ll be all over soon.”

You couldn’t even begin to ponder the meaning of the statement before he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

He didn’t message until days later, quoting poor signal.

-

Sam frowned as you paced the apartment. You had voiced your concerns to him, choosing to leave Sofia out of it.

“He's been picking more projects up with Sabrina,” Sam said almost accusatorily, his arms coming around you.

You were about to answer when there was a knock at the door. Sam opened it to find a dark-eyed James. He brushed past Sam to find you.

“You weren’t home,” he said darkly.

“I hadn’t heard you would be home,” you replied, standing up. James tugged you forward into a possessive kiss.

From then on, James was at your side more, for some reason possessively snapping and tense towards Sam. Despite his longer work hours with Sabrina, he would often crowd you at your apartment, especially when Sam was around.

Moments in the kitchen, like a palm to your neck, pushed you away, but then James would apologize, claiming stress as the gala approached.

It all hit a boiling point that night.

-

I've been down, I've been defeated

You're the message I was heeding

Would you stay

Would you stay the night? Ooh

That night, a fine Friday outside the statehouse, was scattered with strung lights and pulsing stars. You and Sam arrived together to attend the Children’s Department party. You received many congratulations, and as Sofia joined you, you enjoyed your time, waiting for James's arrival from the board meeting. As you stepped outside alone, you checked your phone but found no messages from James.

Last night, he had come home exceptionally late, skipping dinner and passing out from exhaustion. He left early in the morning with a quick peck on your sleeping forehead before slipping into the pre-dawn light.

As you turned from the secluded section towards the entrance, you caught a familiar voice. It was Sabrina, talking to someone hidden by the shadows.

“You can’t back out now, think of the headlines! I’m not letting you ruin this because of cold feet.”

She surged forward to kiss the man, dragging him into the light—it was James. Your little gasp was muffled by the sudden flashing of lights as the outer doors opened to the news, the flashes of cameras catching the affair. Something in James seemed to click as he pulled away, eyes wide. Then he saw you. Panic and something you couldn’t name passed through them. Sabrina turned to you with a pleased smile curving on her face.

She motioned to you as tears streamed down your face and other authors approached, drawn by the commotion. An arm tugged you into a chest as you felt Sam’s protective embrace, his anger palpable. There was a shift in James’s eyes then, and he pulled Sabrina to him, muttering the words that broke your heart,

“I never loved you anyway.”

Dead Sea

Told me I was like the Dead Sea

Never sink when you are with me

Oh Lord, I'm your Dead Sea

The next minutes passed in a blur of camera flashes and reporters' shouts as Sam pulled you through the crowd, Sofia and Sarah following close behind. The other guests caught on and—laughed? The tails of your dress cleared the ground as you slid into the passenger seat of Sam’s car. As he drove, your tears flowed freely. You could already imagine the headlines. You didn't want to think about them and turned to see Sam's knuckles white on the wheel.

“That bastard!” he muttered.

Sofia’s hand reached from the back seat to your shoulder. Her eyes were clouded with shock and shame, both for James and out of concern for you. As you arrived back at your apartment, the reality of the situation sank in.

The next day, the headlines featured your tear-streaked face. There was outrage from your fans, but Sabrina's influence and her larger following had others cheering for her and the handsome man. After silencing and privateing your socials, James tried to call. You just turned your phone off and continued packing. Sam had a crazy idea—jumping an ocean and starting fresh with his family’s publishing company.

At the airport, Sofia pulled you into a tight hug.

“I’ll take care of everything,” she promised.

And that, dear reader, is how you found yourself settling into and naming the Fox’s Den.

-

The group goes quiet as you finish with a shaky sigh. Simon is tight against you, and Sam is tense with a seasoned rage. Kyle had a frown on his face and Sofia set her hand on your knee.

“Its all over dear, I’ll make sure of it. Ill talk and see what I can-”

“No” Your firmer then you though your voice would be. 

“I can’t run from this Sofia. It would only make things worst.”

The older woman nods solemnly.

“He is a right sod” Kyle makes you laugh with the sudden exclamation. The tense mood is broken then as you feel Simon's arm flex under yours. As the others start a conversation you turn to him to find him looking down at you with narrowed eyes. 

“I'm here dove, he’ll keep off if he knows what's good for him.”

You breath out at the statement, its said simply and with promise.

You look to the others, finding their drinks empty and you stand suddenly and pull Simon with you.

“Tea?” The others nod and you go to let go of Simon’s hand but his hold yours firmly. You move over to the bar with the coffee machine and Simon follows one step behind. As you approach Simon spins you to lean against the counter before stepping into your space.

“I mean it Dove, I’m staying,” He looks away for a moment, “if you’ll have me.”

There is a flutter in your heart at his shyness and as the others chat you are shielded by Simon amongst the bookshelves. You look at his lips and he smirks, lips quirking up before he dips and kisses you. Between breaths, he chuckles,

“I'll take this as a yes.”

Whoa, I'm like the Dead Sea (dead sea)

The nicest words you ever said to me (said to me)

Honey, can't you see?

I was born to be your Dead Sea

Taglist!

@ghostlythots, @tapioca-milktea1978, @cmbghost, @nexthyperfix, @feedthefandoms995

[islandoforder]

Hi just properly scrolled through your blog for the first time and wanted to ask a question:

Re: Riz should be class president post from over a week ago - why should it be Riz over Kristen now that the class president position has stakes? Is it because of Kristen’s inconsistent access to her spells in case she needed to defend herself? I’d love to hear more about your thought process regarding this - assuming your opinion hasn’t changed since making that post.

My thoughts personally are that character-wise, it makes more sense to me for Riz to be the one strategizing as the campaign manager, because he’s the one actually finding a lot of the traps the Rat Grinders have put out for them.

Whereas Kristen makes more sense to me as a candidate purely because of her charisma and good radar for social bs - her weakness, of course, being that she’s a bit of a wild card in her choices regarding the campaign. But at the same time, she’s been able to get away with wearing a soggy salsa hat in front of the entire student body and still maintain some chance for the candidacy.

Obviously, I’m ignoring the more mechanical aspects of this comparison. If that’s what you were referring to in your original post idk then. I’m still wrapping my head around how Riz rolls so well now, level 10 dnd shit is way over my head.

Sorry if this was long, I just wanted to express my thoughts as well as hear yours! Idk how far away we are from getting back to the campaign to class president, who knows what happens after they get back from fallinel!

hi! sorry this is such a late reply, i've been away and i wanted to watch the new ep before i started posting about anything d20 in case of unintentional spoilers haha

so i think part of it is that, imho, brennan intended the class president arc to be riz's:

kipperlily is a rogue, v type a, and a narrative foil to riz, and this would have directly pitted them against one another

riz needed extra credit things for his college app, like being involved in student govt/being student president

there's also something about kipperlily being fundamentally riz but richer

kristen's arc was clearly always going to be about cassandra, trying to regain her favour, or increase her popularity, or resurrect her

nara is the kristen foil this season (once again, kristen but richer)

everyone has like an individual arc this season except for riz, bc his was supposed to be student president

beyond all of this, i don't actually think kristen is able to take the student president stuff too seriously - every time she tries, she ends up doing a bit instead, at the steel workers union, at the middle school, even at the party. i actually think if riz was the candidate, he would manage himself, in the same way that fabian wanted to be the party house and arranges that himself, and adaine needed a job and worked on and got that herself. so like i agree that he's the best campaign manager, but that doesn't preclude him from being the best candidate as well??

also, frankly, a lot of the good social graces kristen has had this year are from riz putting in the hard work - him joining all the clubs and making those connections, him taking stress to give her more popularity, his own popularity, etc.

like i'm enjoying the silliness of kristen's campaign, but i'm kind of with sklonda on this - riz would be a better candidate, and it is to some degree a shame that he's putting this much effort into running a campaign for someone else. if they legit need the student body president bc they'll become proxy headmaster, then i think a more serious campaign with riz at the helm and finally having his time in the spotlight is not a bad idea!!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I told my mom to stop bringing her sickness into every single conversation?

My (17F) mom has been sick for the last year or so. Its nothing terminal or excessively bad, just the consequences of some poor choices on her behalf regarding things like birth control, diet and medication. Picking things she knows makes her sick, eating poorly even though she knows it makes her feel worse, ect.

Still. She's sick, and I've been sympathetic and as supportive as I can be while she goes through this vicious cycle of trying to get better. I do feel pretty bad for her because some days you can tell she's really not feeling good at all.

However. My mom also has...You could say not the best grasp on boundaries or what is actually appropriate or even welcome in general conversation. She has a habit of wanting everything to know everything. I've grown up hearing all about her sex life and her periods and her breast augmentation and what not.

More than once I've had to tell her that literally nobody at the dinner table wants to hear about how her period is coming out in chunky globs, but usually she just acts victimised and goes off about how she can never say anything and how its a totally normal, natural thing.

Which, sure. But also. Its not really what I want to hear when staring at a bowl of salsa.

And with her being sick and all the wonderful bodily things that come with that, my god, its gotten worse. And she will tell literally anyone about it.

The cashier at the grocery store now knows my mom hasn't taken a solid poop in a year. My best friends came over for dinner the other night and one of the literal first things my mom starts telling them about is how her period is so heavy she's flooding everywhere and how horrible it is.

At my doctor's appointment the other day I sat there for 20 minutes listening to my mom talk about her raw nipples and how her breasts feel like hot rocks.

I literally cannot take it anymore. I don't think there's been a single conversation or even day where my mom hasn't gone on about some form of frankly gross bodily function that I would happily live my life perfectly oblivious to.

I get she's sick. I get that it sucks. I understand that sometimes you just want to vent.

But honestly. I just want to tell her that if I have to hear about her poops or her breasts or her period again I will gouge my own eardrums out with a spork and I will wear blackout glasses so even if she learns sign language to keep going, I simply won't see it.

Obviously, I'd be more gentle about asking her to tone it down or cut it out. Hell, I'd probably even try to find her a friend to talk to it about just so it doesn't have to be me.

But like. Is it too rude? I know being sick and periods and what not are natural, but honestly, its been years of this and I really feel like no kid should know what vibrator their mom prefers and what the current consistency of her period is.

What are these acronyms?

[impossiblyholyparadise]

Suite de notre soirée dans l’anse de Paulliles...

Avec Bob, nous avons prestement rejoint les filles déjà installées comme chez elles sur la mini piste de danse du club voisin, et visiblement déjà attirant tous les regards et attentions.

Je ne dansais pas souvent, préférant regarder (un parfum de Candaulisme dans mon attitude(?) et aimait réellement voir Ana surtout lorsqu’elle pouvait trouver un beau et bon danseur avec qui la magie du rythme pouvait opérer...J’aimais les admirer. Je n’étais vraiment pas bon danseur et ne voulait pas priver Ana de ses plaisirs, de son plaisir...Elle aimait danser jusqu’au bout de la nuit dès qu’elle le pouvait...Moi, j’étais heureux, un verre à la main, à les regarder et admirer...Aucune jalousie...Que du bonheur...Oui, il m’apparaissait alors un indéniable parallélisme de forme entre le Candaulisme et la danse...

Laisser sa partenaire choisir son cavalier... ;  

La laisser être dirigée... ;

La laisser s’endiabler, aller au bout de son souffle, faire corps avec son partenaire, être enlacée, serrée par lui, être touchée, ...Bref oui beaucoup de similitudes me semblait-il en cet instant même.

Ana virevoltait et captait déjà tous les regards, assurément les envies ...

Pour l’instant elle dansait tout à tour quelques salsa et autre Mango endiablés de manière lascive avec tour à tour Clara et Laura, puis la soirée avançant et l’espace autour d’elles se resserrant, à trois...

Bob m’accompagna au début en partageant un verre au bar mais je me retrouvais seul rapidement car une de ses connaissances féminines de la plage et du jour l’avait invité à faire quelques pas sur un rythme et une musique tube de l’été...

Moi je me régalais réellement de voir Ana et nos nouvelles amies chalouper et onduler de leurs corps sublimes...

Je n’étais pas le seul d’ailleurs...

De nombreux aficionados s’aventuraient au plus près d’elles...

J’apercevais parfois, ce qui me faisait rire et même m’enchantait, quelques mains baladeuses taquinant les trois belles qui s’étaient maintenant tellement rapprochées qu’on aurait pu croire qu’elles ne faisaient qu’une...

Néanmoins à un moment, un des garçons présents près des filles, réussit à agripper Ana et à l’extraire du cocon des bras de Clara et de Laura qui continuèrent à danser tout en s’enlaçant tendrement et sensuellement...

Elles osèrent même un baiser intense qui loin de calmer les ardeurs des garçons dansant près d’elles, les virent littéralement être phagocytées par cinq ou six danseurs qui les encerclaient...

Elles furent ainsi acculées contre un mur et un peu isolées par le noir du bord de piste contrastant avec l’intensité des lumières festives éclairant le centre...

Ana dansait maintenant un peu à l’écart et sur la piste avec son cavalier, élégant et visiblement doué pour la danse...

Ils étaient réellement beaux...

Je souriais dès que je pouvais à Ana et elle me rendait ce sourire...

Manifestement elle prenait plaisir à danser avec ce jeune homme et à m’offrir, elle savait que j’appréciais, le spectacle de leurs corps enlacés et énivrés de musique.

A un moment, elle vint près de moi pour se rafraîchir et me présenter à son danseur du soir : « Daniel..., mon compagnon, mon chéri. Laurent, mon...mon partenaire de danse...Il danse super, tu as vu...Allez, on y retourne Laurent...Viens c’est un slow...Daniel nous rejoindra s’il veut... ».

Elle me donna un baiser appuyé dont je reconnaissais la saveur et surtout et aussi ce qu’il pouvait exprimer... : Laurent lui plaisait et elle ne comptait pas en rester à la danse...

On avait déjà vécu ce genre de trio sur un slow dans une boite libertine de notre région ...Je ne vous dis pas comment tout cela s’était terminé...

Bob ne revenant pas, au bout de quelques instants, je n’hésitais pas à les rejoindre sur la piste.

Ana avait manifestement déjà pris les choses en main comme elle savait si bien le faire et se frottait contre le sexe sûrement déjà tendu du jeune homme...

Pour être sûre de sa prise, elle tenait même fermement de ses deux mains ses fesses rebondies...

Ana savait toujours quand il fallait « ferrer » sa proie et prendre ce qu’elle devait prendre...

A mon approche, quasi à la toucher par derrière, je la vis se pencher à l’oreille du garçon malgré tout tendu (et pas que de son sexe...) pour, j’en étais certain, le rassurer et lui dire que je n’étais aucunement jaloux, bien au contraire...

Le garçon devait être incrédule, aussi Ana lui roula-t-elle une pelle majestueuse et impossible à en comprendre le sens profond pour celui qui en était l'objet...Tout avait et prenait sens avec Ana...

Pour ma part, voir Ana aussi lancée et échauffée, fort de ce que l’on s’était dit sur nos vacances et maintenant de notre philosophie de vie et carrément de la liberté de notre vie sexuelle, je levais discrètement sa robe et vint insérer mon mât tendu à l’extrême par la situation dans son sillon fessier et me laissé guider au rythme suave et entrainante de la musique et des mouvements de son cul diabolique...

Ayant remarqué en m’approchant d’Ana que les copines de Bob avaient elles aussi été prises en main par quatre ou cinq jeunes et entreprenants partenaires, je poussais délibérément Ana et Laurent, son danseur du soir, par des coups saccadés de mon sexe impatient de conquête, vers les corps déjà entremêlés de nos voisins et voisines...

Les filles se retrouvèrent comme par enchantement au centre de nous les hommes et le rideau humain que l’on pouvait constituer faisait parfaitement obstacle à la vue des autres danseurs présents dans la boite qui de toute façon étaient manifestement eux aussi affairés et pris dans des tourments et autres ballets érotico-sexuels...

J’appris et ait eu confirmation par Bob le lendemain qu’en fait cette petite boite de nuit était devenue au fil des soirées de cet été là, un des lieux libertins, si ce n’est le lieu libertin le plus côtés de la Côte Vermeille...

Pas franchement étonnant au vu de comment évoluait la soirée, même si totalement insolite devant l’absence d’endroits habituels et dédiés à certaines pratiques des clubs libertins, ou même à quelconque information, allusion par des néons, des enseignes, des recommandations, des vestiaires, du personnel, des préservatifs, des douches ...

Oui, un club sauvage, totalement débridé, libre et libéré...

Un peu étrange et peut-être même risqué pour qui aurait pu s’y aventurer par mégarde mais sa petitesse en avait fait un de ses atouts et seuls les connaisseurs et habitués y venaient, limitant ainsi du coup les problèmes qu’il y aurait pu avoir...

Au centre de toutes les attentions, les filles flattées, caressées et pelotées de toutes parts avec leur acquiescement et consentement, manifestant surtout leurs envies, se mirent à genoux en tripode et commencèrent de leurs mains habiles à sortir les sexes impatients et brûlants de tous ceux qui les entouraient...

Je vis qu’Ana s’était même retrouvée totalement nue tandis que Clara et Laura n’avaient plus de haut...

C’est ainsi sept belles et magnifiques queues bandantes et entreprenantes que nos trois belle eurent à honorer, nous faisant tourner tout autour d’elles, de leurs bouches avides et de leurs mains expertes...

Une nouvelle fois Ana fut la première à se redresser et à se positionner contre le mur lors de ma visite dans sa bouche : « A toi l’honneur mon Amour d’ouvrir le feu.. Je t’aime... ! »

Elle m’indiquait ainsi, de même qu’aux autres que c’était maintenant en levrette qu’elle voulait qu’on la prenne...

Ses amies l’imitèrent partageant entre elles trois, des baisers aussi savants et puissants que passionnés, pendant que chacun des mâles les saillissait tour à tour ou leur faisait minette à volonté ...

Le jeu dura un certain temps et même Bob et sa dernière amie vinrent se joindre à la ronde...

Toutes et tous exténués, nous nous réfugièrent à l’aube naissante dans la cahute de la SNSM que Bob nous avait ouverte.

Nous nous sommes ainsi littéralement entassés pêlemêle, là où raisonnablement il n’y avait réellement de la place que pour deux, et jusqu’au petit matin les corps avachis se sont abandonnés dans une anarchique et irréelle orgie des sens et des corps...

Je m’étais pour ma part inséré au plus près et au plus profond du cul d’Ana qu’elle savait encore et si adroitement faire vibrer qu’elle m’en autorisait ainsi à bander dur jusqu'au bout de la nuit...

La nouvelle amie du jour de Bob aux courbes épanouies, généreuses et sensuelles, s'était invitée parmi nous et n'était pas en reste.

Un tempérament de feu dans une enceinte constituée de braises...

Je me souviens qu'elle me saisit la tête pour l'engloutir entre ses seins démesurés et m'inciter à en durcir les pointes contrastant tant avec les chairs moelleuse et opulentes de ses courbes...

Chacune de ses aréoles ressemblait à un clitoris brûlant et impatient de l'assaut de mes lèvres...

Je me souviens également que Clara et Laura vinrent nous offrir leurs sexes emplit de liqueurs spermatiques des jouissances qu’elles avaient connues tout au long de la nuit.

Nous avions réellement, stupidement et bêtement joué avec nos vies cette nuit-là dans l’insouciance de notre jeunesse et d’une épidémie de Sida qui pointait déjà le glaive de ses ardeurs mortifères et dévastatrices.

Inconscience et peut-être même et sûrement, honte à nous !

Heureusement il ne fut rien de dommageable pour notre santé et bien des années plus tard, tout à la fois bien conscient du bonheur que l’on ait eut de pouvoir vivre cette liberté sexuelle totale et débridée, nous sommes si heureux d’avoir été épargnés par tous ces fléaux qui malheureusement minent et restreignent parfois les audaces aventurières et libertines que nous permettait l’époque...

Non pas qu’il y ait moins de désirs ou de plaisirs de nos jours, on en parle assez fréquemment avec Ana dans nos échanges de mails et au travers des récits de ses aventures de Hot-Wife, mais bien que le registre des possibilités se soit vu avec bon sens et légitimité hors couple réduit.

Ainsi goûter au délire assez fou j’en conviens du partage de toutes les ardeurs et saveurs tout autant féminines que masculines d’une telle soirée orgiaque n’est plus aujourd’hui envisageable et surtout pas souhaitable...

Ce n’était d’ailleurs pas forcément bon, ni même un kiff personnel pour tout dire, mais d’une telle intensité érotique, un tel partage, une telle offrande que cela en constituait une expérience insolite et même vertigineuse.

Je me souviens encore aujourd’hui des lèvres épanouies, ouvertes, chaudes et maculées de saveurs de nos complices, ...

J’ai aussi partagé cette nuit là quelques fellations torrides pourtant si loin de mes pratiques avec Ana et d’autres, filles ou garçons, dans des délires érotiques sans fin qui nous avaient emportées au confins des possibles en matière de sexualité...

C’est aussi cette nuit-là que j’ai pu ressentir ce que pouvais être le dépucelage et ensuite la jouissance je dois l’avouer de mon propre cul...

Hétéro, bi, homo,... plus rien n’était ou ne pouvait être interdit à personne et nous n’étions tous que frénésie et envie sexuelles...

Plus tard, je recommencerais certaines de ces pratiques, il fallait peut- être que je les reçoive et vive de cette manière pour ensuite pouvoir les apprécier, particulièrement avec Ana...

Ainsi, oui, je dois l’avouer, cette soirée m’a totalement désinhibé pour le reste de mes jours et Ana ensuite a toujours su me mettre dans le contexte où je ne pouvais pas, comme souvent ou toujours, lui refuser ce qu’elle souhaitait de moi ou moi-même, être en pleine conscience et capacité d’accepter, de réaliser ou de vivre certaines pratiques que j’aurais de prime abord et par dogmatisme ou peur, refusé.

Plus tard avec Ana j’ai pu ainsi beaucoup apprécier de temps à autres de partager et de sucer une belle bite ;

de me faire prendre par un doigt, un godemichet ou même un gode-ceinture ( je voulais réellement savoir et discuter avec elle et son amie qui me prenaient tout à tour, ce qu’elles ressentaient et ce que cela transformait, transportait comme sentiments, émotions, ressentis physiques et autres ressorts psychologiques chez elles...J’en appris beaucoup sur les femmes et leurs désirs de masculinité assez souvent subconscient mais aussi souvent bien présent...) ;

et même de tenter un jour l’aventure cent pour cent homosexuelle avec deux jeunes amis gays très drôles et ouverts à tout qui m’avaient invité à découvrir l’incroyable ambiance et l'atmosphère de la gay-pride et d’une croisière organisée en mer des Caraïbes...

Oui, tout cela était « né » de cette incroyable soirée passée dans la cahute de Bob et de la SNSM...

Bob en début de matinée, alors qu’il devait ouvrir et tenir son poste, nous réveilla...

Les autres étaient discrètement partis au fur et à mesure de leurs réveils respectifs.

Bob nous salua et nous pria de repasser quand on voulait...

« Tu suce bien pour un mec ! » m'avoua-t-il dans un rire sonore et son bisou à pleines lèvres et à la Russe lors de notre départ me font dire et écrire que ce fut bien la soirée la plus déjantée et incroyable de toute ma vie que je venais de passer en cet endroit si charmeur et idyllique...

Je repensais au fait que Bob était bisexuel et qu'effectivement il ait pu me proposer sans ambages son sexe...

Pour moi, je n' avais aucun souvenir factuel, même si je savais que j'avais accompagné Ana avec plaisir et gourmandises dans quelques fellations dont elle avait le secret et l'expertise tout en devant admettre l'idée que ce fût Bob ou un autre...

Qu'elle importance dans cette soirée hors-norme?

Bob resterai à jamais mon ami.

Je retournerai à Paulilles un jour...

Je reverrai Bob avec plaisir.

Maintenant, cap sur l’Espagne...Nous n’étions pas, Ana et moi, au bout de nos aventures...

Pas même au bout de nos congés et moi surtout pas au bout d'une sexualité torride riche et sans beaucoup de limite que je le savais et le sais encore plus aujourd'hui me dirigeait inexorablement vers le Candaulisme de part son amour du sexe, du jeu, de l'intellect, de l'audace, de la philosophie de la vie, de l'Amour, de la tolérance, de tous ses attraits et de toutes ses beautés à découvrir et partager...

Bref que des belles et magnifiques perspectives et bonheurs de ma future vie...!

[au-jardin-de-mon-coeur]

Mon inspiration du soir

Juste une danse !

Viens ! Ce soir on danse !

Viens, regarde...nos mains s'enlacent

Et s'emmêlent nos pas...

Vois, nos cœurs s'enflamment

Et s'enroulent, se déroulent nos raisons...

Elles tournent en longs tourbillons de frissons !

Viens, allez, viens, on va faire l'amour

Sur un air de java, sur un air de salsa,

Sur un air de toujours...

[cricketnationrise]

500 Followers! Congratulations!!!

Oooh .. for a ficlet . .

a time stamp - 1:30 pm

location - a panaderia somewhere in NYC (maybe https://donpacolopez.com/pages/press-don-paco-lopez-bakery - since its in Brooklyn?)

character - Alex Claremont-Diaz

a song title/lyric for vibes - Many the Miles ( Sarah Bareilles) https://youtu.be/L-0uUSHa8wY?si=oHzEPF8AprRM4fcB

Rating - leaving it up to your discretion

Hi hello first of all I fucking love Sara Bareilles and this song in particular is one of my favorites :D second of all writing this made me want conchas really badly. that being said - all Spanish mistakes are my own, so if anyone notices any, please let me know and I'll correct them 💜🦗

read the rest of the ficlets here

❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙

1:30pm, nyc panadería

Don Paco Lopez, Panadería, established 1991, in the heart of Brooklyn, New York, smells absolutely fucking amazing.

The air is thick with the smell of dough and cinnamon and chocolate and something about the mix of aromas has Alex’s choking up a little – caught in the memories of his abuelas kitchen. The place reminds him so much of summers and Christmases in Mexico that he has half a mind to book a ticket down there right now, the nostalgia is so powerful.

Through the window, Alex can see illuminated baking cases — almost empty at this hour — and a man and woman dancing and laughing behind the counter, each covered in both wrinkles and flour. He can just make out the sound of Selena through the glass door.

Without a second thought, without any regard for his carefully structured schedule, Alex steps inside, the bell over the door jingling merrily. 

The dancing couple breaks apart at the noise, smiles still firmly in place, and moves to their stations before freezing in place, mid-greeting, as she recognizes him as the son of the President.

“¡Hola! Bienvenido a— ¡Dios mío, eres tú!”

Alex slips into Spanish as easily as breathing. “Culpable de los cargos,” he says, a sheepish grin on his face. “Huele increíble aquí. Al igual que recuerdo la cocina de mi abuela.”

“Muchas gracias.” They both still look stunned he’s in their shop. “Estamos horneando para la próxima orden de catering.”

The knowledge that this panadería does catering has Alex’s brain going a mile a minute. He scans the cases, searching for his favorites. Pan de muerto chico, tamales dulces, rosca de reyes, churros, cuernito, niditos—and there, in the far corner, Alex’s favorite: conchas.

“Bueno, quiero esa última concha de chocolate, pero también voy a hacer algunos pedidos de catering.”

“¿Algunos? ¿Cómo en múltiples?”

“Sí,” Alex says, letting his grin go a little wicked. “No puedo dejar que los niños del Refugio Okonjo tengan todas las golosinas, ¿verdad?”

The Lopezes laugh, albeit a little hysterically, as a timer goes off in the back. Paco excuses himself to the ovens with a gesture to his wife. “Mi esposa puede ayudarle con su pedido, Sr. Claremont-Díaz.”

“¡Llámame Alex!” he calls after Mr. Lopez. He lowers his voice back to normal volume as he turns to Mrs. Lopez. “Por favor, insisto.”

“Bueno… Alejandro. ¿Qué podemos hacer por ti?”

He chuckles, visions of piles of pastries dancing in his head. “¿Tienes un bolígrafo y papel a mano?”

Mrs. Lopez’s eyes crinkle with amusement as she clicks her pen and hovers over an order pad. “Estoy lista.”

Alex lets the words fly, making up the order for the shelter on the spot. Día de los Muertos is coming up, and there’s enough kids at the shelter who haven’t gotten a proper celebration of the holiday in a while that will practically die with happiness when he drops the baked goods off.

For his own order, he’s been homesick for Mexican baking for a while. He can make a mean mole, throw kick-ass enchiladas in the oven, even put together a salsa that June said was on par with their abuelo. But Alex doesn’t have as much time, or frankly the patience, to turn out conchas and other sweet breads that his abuela still makes once a week. He orders way more than he’ll ever be able to eat before it goes stale, but he doesn’t care. Henry will at least try each variety, and Alex can always bring any extras to class or his review session. 

Mrs. Lopez won’t hear of him paying full price, and Alex can’t fathom paying anything less. Mr. Lopez finally interrupts their standoff with a suggestion of thirty percent off for the shelter. That, Alex will accept—he’ll do anything for Henry and Pez’s dollars to stretch further to help queer kids. Mrs. Lopez still looks grumpy, but she concedes to Alex paying full price for his own order as well. (Alex will leave a big tip when he picks up both orders, whether she likes it or not.)

He thanks them again, setting a pick up time for both orders and leaves with his chocolate concha and a wide smile on his face. Henry and the rest of his family are going to make so much fun of him for the sheer volume he ordered, but in Alex’s defense, he was left unsupervised.

Translations: Hello! Welcome to— Oh my God, it’s you! Guilty as charged. It smells amazing in here. Just like I remember my grandma’s kitchen. Thank you so much. Well, I want that last chocolate concha, but I'm also gonna place some catering orders. Some? As in multiple? Can’t let the kids at the Okonjo Shelter have all the goodies, now can I?  My wife can help you with your order, Mr. Claremont-Díaz. Call me Alex! Please, I insist. Okay, Alex. What can we do for you? Got a pen and paper handy? I’m ready.

[dwtsfun]

Dancing with the Stars Season 33 Week 2: Sending Off an Ingrate and a Shocker

Work is still awful, but I need to come on here to talk to you all about the show this week. A lot happened and we need to discuss. I'm gonna rank the stars based on my enjoyment of each performance (mostly) combined with how I feel they may fare with votes. But before that, let's address the elephant in the room. That elimination. So first of all, I was SHOCKED to see Tori Spelling out in the first week. Was she amazing? No. But I think she did enough to cement a third week. I guess I underestimated the fact that she seems to be really disliked. Because between being a part of Beverly Hills 90210, being the daughter of Aaron Spelling and being constantly talked about for decades at this point, I thought she was gonna be around til week 5 at least. Y'all know it takes a lot to shock me with regard to this show. The double did her in and that's why I always hate double eliminations in week 1. It always takes out one person that maybe needs a little more time to get going. As for Anna? Well it was expected. What I wasn't expecting was her parting words. I feel for Ezra mostly, because that man was riding for her since the day he met her. He took amazing care of her and I know it was hard for him to see the heat she was taking. And you're telling me she couldn't even thank him for showing her that she was more than her crime. Or CAI who tried uplifting the past two weeks? What a waste. Even I didn't go in like I could've and really wanted to because I think people deserve a second chance after committing certain crimes (not drugging, murder, sexual assault, trafficking and your third time physically assaulting someone).She played in all of our faces. You know who I don't feel bad for? Conrad and the rest of the producers for DWTS. I said on twitter, "play stupid games, win stupid fucking prizes". She got on that show, on that platform that y'all gave her and bent over backwards to make it work for her, just for her to spit in your faces and tell y'all that y'all ain't shit, ain't been shit and will never be shit. And honestly, that's the one positive thing I can take from her response. Showing them that they are fools for casting her was great. Hate that this show has fallen so far that someone can say that and the show deserves it. Alright, let's get into these couples:

Top Four

Chandler and Brandon might be my favorite partnership in quite some time. They work well together. Chandler is an incredible dancer with the most gorgeous movement quality. And Brandon is creating some great dances. That was a beautiful rumba. I want them to go far. I think they can go far. I don't want another Tinashe situation to happen. But so far, they are doing exactly what they need to do.

Stephen and Rylee are super fun to watch together. They mesh well and Rylee is definitely choreographing some good numbers that showcase Stephen extremely well. I have a concern though. Stephen is a very awkward mover. That was super obvious in this paso. His hips and shaping looked strange. His footwork made me scratch my head. It was a little strange. His timing is still a bit off. He's got a lot of potential, but they really need to work on finetuning these dances. I can see this being a bigger problem in the more fluid Latin dances and the Argentine tango.

Ilona and Alan are just so much fun. I'm glad Ilona let her guard down a bit more this week. She wasn't moving as small in this salsa and really settled into and owned her sexy more. I love that Alan added a couple of lifts for her as it may have helped her feel more comfortable. She has a ton of potential too and I'm super excited to see their dances once she really lets loose. I actually feel like she might shine in a ballroom dance. I know they have that coming up next.

Dwight and Daniella actually did a great job with the foxtrot. Dwight really really wants to do well and you can tell. He is paying so much attention to the details. He connects his moves. He finishes his lines. And he really handles Daniella with so much care. Two things though. I know that the height difference definitely affects this, but he's gotta work on tucking his butt under him. Second is the footwork needs to be cleaned up.

Middle of the Pack

Joey and Jenna made a believer out of me this week. He is definitely one to watch for sure. He is charming. He seems to be a fast learner. He has great movement quality, especially for a man this early on in the competition. He's still gotta work on his hip action. It isn't natural. Once he get that figured out, I'm a little scared about how good those Latin dances will be. Because this rumba was really really nice.

Danny and Witney are my dark horses of the season. Danny is light on his feet and he stays on time (mostly). Witney is doing great choreography and his technique in this jive was great. I still want him to loosen up more, but I can tell that he made a big shift from week 1 to week 2 in comfortability and confidence. These two, as well as the 5 above them, have me super excited for this season. I can't remember the last time I was this genuinely excited for 6 different couples in one season.

Phaedra and Val are interesting to me. I don't think Phaedra is very good. And I don't think Val is choreographing to her dance strengths that well. That section of their foxtrot that was super fast exposed A LOT of Phaedra's technical setbacks. She was super hoppy. That said, I like their partnership. Phaedra is a larger than life personality, so she makes up for the lack of ability with her performance. I want Val to slow things down though. I think that would better suit her at this point.

Jenn and Sasha are an interesting couple. While Jenn handled some of the production issues like a pro, some of the choreographic choices were a choice. I do not understand why there was a cartwheel thrown into this dance. Or jumps and side by side choreography? I'm cool with that stuff being thrown into quicksteps, but a tango? Why? And why are we using these types of songs for tangos while we're at it? There are so many movies that have been nominated for Oscars that have actual tango music in them. Moulin Rouge comes to mind immediately. I feel like that could've forced Sasha to not make stupid choreography decisions. So this is what I'm going to say. Jenn is a good dancer. A lot of her undoing and early departure (because I'm feeling a "shocking" elimination from her) will be due to his choreography. Because again, why?

Bottom Three

So I'm just going to make this easy for these three. Eric and Reginald are both terrible. There's really not much that either Britt or Emma can do for either one of them at this point. They really won't get all that much better, if at all. In fact, I can see both of them getting worse as the season goes on. The one thing I can say is that they both improved this week.

Brooks and Gleb are interesting. Brooks is good. But that quickstep was not it and Gleb is relying way too much on this STUPID SHOWMANCE that they keep trying to shove down our throats. We're TIRED! It sickens me to my core. The fact that Derek clocked that they did a tango hold instead of the correct hold lets me know exactly where his priorities are. So I say that it's time for us to take a stand. We have to stand against showmances on this show. We gotta let these folks know that we are TIRED. We are not stupid. You cannot play us for fools. I'm ready for them to GO!

So that's it. No show this week. Two shows next Monday and Tuesday. Let me know your thoughts and I will talk to you all soon.

[adobedragon]

“I was right and you were wrong,” sang Lance as he strolled triumphantly through the laboratory’s doorway. Hips swaying, he salsa danced over to the main workstation, his target, the diminutive Galaxy Garrison officer who was bent over a magnifying screen, plasma-welder in hand, an engine component on the table before her.

As expected, Pidge didn’t look up from her work.

Undeterred, Lance kept on with the song and dance. “I was right, you were wrong. Come on, baby, sing my song.” His hip bumped hers and he said, “Seriously, hermosa, sing.”

Amber brown eyes met his from behind safety goggles, the cant of her eyebrows signaling irritation, though her lips twitched with a smile. “What are you going on about?”

“I was right about the intercoolers on the dynotherms’ Q delivery lines. They were too small.”

Pidge’s shoulders rose in a sigh as she switched off the plasma-welder and snapped it in a holster on the worktable. She tugged her goggles off and set them on the worktable. “Yes. You were right.”

“Ouch. Don’t hurt yourself. Take it slow.” He laid his hands on her hips and moved them in time with his. “Ease yourself into the big, beautiful truth that Lance McClain is right. He’s always right.”

“Cool your jets, flyboy,” she said, swatting lazily at his hands. “I didn’t say that.”

“You did. Said I was right. You can’t take it back. No takebacksies.”

“Right, in this case. That doesn’t imply that henceforth in time, particularly in matters of engineering and science, that you will always be correct.”

“You just can’t handle all this brilliance.” He gestured at himself, currently clad in a blue and white Galaxy Garrison flight suit. “I know it’s hard to accept, but, yes, without a doubt, Loverboy Lance is a genius. Say it: ‘Lance is a genius.’”

She smirked. “You’re a genius…with a sniper rifle or in the cockpit of an MFE fighter.”

“Genius in all things,” he prodded. “Say it.”

“No.” She reached for her goggles. “If you’re just here to gloat obnoxiously, shoo.”

“Say it,” said Lance, arms crossed over his chest. “Or, I’ll, I’ll…”

“You’ll what?” Her smirk got smirky-er. “Hold your breath till you pass out? You tried that last week. Gave yourself a headache.”

“I’ll….” He lifted his chin, and stared imperiously across the lab. “I’ll withhold my affections.”

At this, Pidge spluttered like an overflowing teakettle. “You’ll withhold sex?” She poked his chest with a finger, short fingernails tapping the flight suit’s hardened chest piece. “You wouldn’t last a week. Or a day.”

His eyes met hers. “Would too. I’m a rock. I’m a mountain, immovable, uh, what are you doing?”

“Moving mountains.” Pidge had set the goggles down and her hands were on his hips. He skittered backwards, his butt colliding with a smaller worktable. She was small but speedy, instantly on him, her hands roaming up and down his body. Though the flight suit’s insulation kept the heat of her hands from his skin, his body’s sense memory vibrated with the recollection of those agile fingers on his bare body.

Lance, of course, hadn’t expect Pidge of all people, to proclaim him a genius. Honestly? He was rather thrilled that she thought he was a genius sharpshooter and pilot.

He most definitely wasn’t serious regarding the cessation of sexy times with Pidge Holt, formerly pilot of the Green Lion, Paladin of Voltron, and now a lieutenant and probably soon-to-be captain in the Garrison’s engineering corp. Her potential promotion meant she might soon outrank him, but he was cool with that because fraternizing with a superior officer was really hot.

And…and what was this conversation about…?

Pidge’s hands were now on his ass and his were unbuckling the belt on her gray Garrison uniform.

It was the middle of the day and at any minute someone might walk in on them (resulting in yet another “conduct unbecoming an officer” charge), but Lance McClain’s Machiavellian (Yes, he knew what that meant) plan to distract and seduce Pidge Holt had worked.

Lance McClain was a genius, indeed.

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Feeding Alligators 54 - Get Outta My Swamp

You have a chat with some ogres.

On AO3.

“Fuck!” you holler and throw yourself to the side.

The club—which up until a week ago was a perfectly good tree—crunches into the support pillar of the indoor balcony above. Which creaks, wobbles, and then breaks free of the wall anchors.

All y’all scramble out of the way as half the room comes down and curies the door. Leaving you, sprawled on your front alone, looking up at an ogre with his raised club.

“Hold!” a voice rumbles. It’s the exact kind of low, growling sound you’d expect to hear out of a twenty-foot bull. But it’s another ogre stomping over, with his own club raised.

You’re gonna die. All this—the potions, the soul jar, and you’re gonna get smashed into chunky salsa all across the floor.

But the second ogre…bonks the first one. With a fucking tree trunk club. It smacks McClubby in the face, and the big boy stumbles back. But it kinda reminds you of horses kicking each other: on a human, that’s broken bones and scrambled egg brains, but to another horse, it’s more of a nudge.

“We wait to see if the new meat is a snack, or an ally,” Mr. Eloquent says.

McClubby grunts. Peers down at you with piggy eyes.

Then the rest of your party comes back into view, shepherded by a third fucking ogre.

“Meat?” Thirdy asks.

“That all depends upon the circumstances, gentlemen,” Mr. Eloquent says. And regards you.

You should get off the floor.

The ogres, it turns out, have been hired by the goblins and their Absolute cult as mercenaries. With the bonus of eating people they kill (there’s a dead tiefling missing a leg, the upper thigh ripped away with jagged bone sticking out; it looks distinctively…nibbled).

When Gale—watching the whole explanation with a furrowed brow—asks Mr. Eloquent how he came to have such a loquacious vocabulary (Gale’s words), Mr. Eloquent says, more or less, it’s from a good diet. By that, you assume he means eating people rather than cattle or pigs.

It’s ultra fucked.

“How do they call for y’all?” you say. Try not to quiver (partially succeed) when that too-intelligent gaze turns to you. “When they, uh, when it’s time to work?”

“Oh, we stick close enough to smell when there’s delicacies on the wind,” Mr. Eloquent says.

“You, um, you have such an excellent nose?” All the fairy tales you ever read (in your fucking twenties) come flooding into your brain. Be polite. Flatter. Sweet talk.

And you can see it hit and watch it work. Mr. Eloquent tilts his head back all proud. Spreads his arms wide. “We have the best noses in all the Sword Coast.”

“Best. Good for sniffing out meat,” McClubby says.

To which Mr. Eloquent bonks him in the face again. “I said no talking.”

If they’re summoned up by smell alone, that’s gonna be a problem if y’all can’t rescue the druid without a fight.

“The goblin camp is close?” you say.

“Only an hour’s walk.”

“And you can smell all that way?” you say, laying on the impressionable yokel.

“That’s just goblin stink,” Astarion murmurs.

“Oh, my tasty morsel, I can scent much further than that,” Mr. Eloquent says.

He’s a problem. A major one. Small head, you’re guessing a thickass skull judging from how hard McClubby gets smacked around without apparent concussion. Short neck layered in fat and muscle, and a solid build all the way down. Gonna be real hard to kill one of these without, like, an elephant rifle.

You catch Lae’zel examining them in the same way. She meets your gaze, still cool, but you catch the flicker there: they’d be a hard fight. Which she seems stoked for, but your bones are real breakable and one of them clubs still has a full root system at the base.

But they’re mercenaries. And the problem with mercenaries, is that they work for coin, not cause.

Ooh, this is risky.

“How much they paying you?” you say.

And see the glimmer of greed in Mr. Eloquent’s eyes.

“Be very careful,” Gale mutters low in your ear.

“I am, by all accounts, a student of higher commerce and extortion,” Mr. Eloquent says. “Make me an offer. Tempt me.”

Fuck. You don’t know what pay is like here. And y’all don’t actually have that much coin. Thirdy is looking at you like you’re a goddamn rotisserie chicken. Y’all are all but trapped in here, there ain’t much room to maneuver, and y’all are already dragging ass.

But he’d said something else. Mr. Eloquent calls you “morsel.” (Yikes.)

You fold your hands so they don’t notice the tremors. Clear your throat to hide the quiver.

“Seems to me, such specimens as yourselves require a great deal of meat to keep up your strength. Them clubs look real heavy.”

The two ogres—McClubby and Thirdy—remind you of bears. Big, dangerous, all-purpose eating machines. But Mr. Eloquent? That one is a pig. Not in any derogatory sense, but in the way that pigs are clever, possibly sentient, and will eat their elderly owners should they take a fall in the pen.

There’s intelligence in them eyes. Hungry intelligence, just waiting for you to take a wrong step.

“Ogres strong,” Thirdy says. “Ogres eat!”

“What did I say about talking?” Mr. Eloquent says and thumps his buddy hard enough to make an elephant stagger.

“No talking,” McClubby says, and gets his own whack for his trouble.

“Do they summon y’all often?” you say.

That gleam in Mr. Eloquent’s eye brightens. He folds his hands over his great belly.

You can feel the others tense behind you.

“We mostly guard the village and check for the brands of the Absolute, save one foray to the west.”

You nod. “The picking around here seem real slim. How’d you like a feast? I hear there’s a hundred of them goblins at their camp. And I don’t imagine they’d put up much fight against y’all’s ferocity.”

McClubby and Thirdy huff and hoot. Mr. Eloquent holds your gaze a long, long moment. Sweat trickles down your back. Leather creaks behind you, and you don’t have to turn to know everybody’s got a hand on a weapon.

“A fair assessment,” Mr. Eloquent says. Studies you as you lock your knees and force yourself to stare right back. Then he nods. “A fair assessment indeed. You have a bargain, my kibble.”

He hands over a horn, explains stuff that you don’t really catch because all you hear is buzzing. Except the bit about it summoning the lot of them. Good. Right. You nod and tuck the horn into your bag.

And then the ogres leave by smashing out a side wall and shuffling off into the sunlight. Y’all stand there and watch them go.

“Holy fuck,” Karlach says. “I can’t believe you pulled that off.”

You hold until the ogres are definitely out of sight. Then your lock fails and you all but fold over your own knees. “Holy shitballs we almost died. Holy fucking shit!”

A hand claps your shoulder. Wyll grins. “Bargaining with an ogre. Can’t say I’ve seen that tactic before.”

You try not to wheeze like a dying horse. Holy fuck, it worked, you can’t believe it, y’all almost died but didn’t and got yourselves a three-ogre army if y’all need to wreck some shit.

“Can we set up camp, please?” you say. “I need to sit before I fall over.”

They agree to do so outside the rotting, half-eaten village. You unroll your bedding so you can lay back and try not to hyperventilate in peace.

Through it all, Astarion sits alone, fingers tapping on the edge of his new, cursed book, his gaze fixed on you.

Previous - Index - Next Chapter

[goldengashes]

Do you have any Portwell HC or OTPs?

yup! yup! many of them are inspired by @lovelyserpentines amazing fic tsbu

1. they are marvel nerds. like not just movies and shows, comics, merch EVERYTHING!!

2. risotto date nights are a staple. sometimes it’s a fancy resto, sometimes it’s them cooking in the kitchen together, sometimes it’s the quick instant microwave one over a rerun of the avengers movies

3. ej goes to nyu tisch for film school and gina goes to juilliard for dance — after a year of dating, they move in together <33

4. they have a pet cat/rabbit in their nyu apartment but when they become successful they move upstate ny and live in a larger house w many dogs (huskies, golden retrievers and labs hehe)

5. ashlyn’s gina’s maid of honor for her wedding and carlos is ej’s. seblos, kourtney and ashlyn move to new york upon their uni graduation too! they invite jenzzarra to their wedding bc DUH!

6. they are swifties - ej’s fav album is lover and gina’s is a tie between midnights and 1989

7. ej and her go on many road trips. they rather take a road trip together than fly anywhere interstate.

8. ej leaves her lovely messages on sticky notes on her vanity table.

9. ej wears a chain with gina’s initials on it (swifties IYKYK)

10. every time they’re out with friends they have a ‘look’ to signify the other person that they’re tired/wants to go home

11. ej still sneaks in granola bars in her purse with a silly note on them (especially when there’s something major going on at work)

12. they both bring the other person flowers after a long day of not seeing each other

13. regarding no. 9, gina’s wedding gift for ej is a ‘c’ pendant :)))

14. their imessages is full of snaps of things that remind them of each other throughout the day.

15. gina teaches ej to dance. they sign up to do a 12-week salsa class once in their college years. ej was so bad at it the instructor advised them not to come back and refunded all their future classes.

16. they watch broadway plays together (ashlyn becomes a broadway star and they always come to her shows)!

17. their first kiss is in new york on new year’s day

and there’s tonsssss more… i might continue in the comments later

THANK U FOR THE Q <33

[beardedmrbean]

Claims that a California school told students that white people had "no culture" have sparked controversy, with a parent expressing outrage about the alleged incident.

The mother of one of the students reported the claims to the San Ramon Valley Unified School District last week, saying that her daughter was taught about white privilege during a choir class and was told by an "equity teacher" that white people have no culture.

The school district is working with an "equity teacher on special assignment," according to its website, to "interrupt any inequitable practices in school culture and curriculum and eliminate barriers to personal and academic success."

"As a parent of a choir student, having outside instruction regarding white privilege with the choir students was incredibly hurtful, demeaning, and demeaning to many students in the class," the woman said on September 12. "It not only created division and confusion between the students, but it was also incorrect information."

She added: "During this, the teacher's discussion with the class, she stated that white people had no culture and any culture that they did have was stolen. She gave inaccurate information that the students could quickly google and figure out that was wrong." She said the U.S. number one condiment is not "salsa," as the teacher apparently claimed, and that the number one American dish is hamburgers, and not "chicken tikka masala."

The mom asked for the district to investigate the incident and "rectify it." She also called for more parents' involvement in the teaching at the school district.

"It is apparent that there are things that are being taught to our children where the district or the school does not provide a necessary opt-in or opt-out form for parents," said the woman.

A video of the school board meeting with the woman's intervention is available on YouTube.

The woman, who remained unnamed in the video and in the following news media report, has been noted as being part of Moms for Liberty—a conservative political organization advocating not mentioning LGBTQ+ rights, race and ethnicity in school curricula.

The Indiana chapter of the group recently came under fire for sharing a newsletter containing a quote attributed to Adolf Hitler, for which it later apologized, condemning the Nazi leader.

A spokesperson for the school district told Crisis in the Classroom (CITC) on Monday that a "guest teacher" had recently discussed "content that was not applicable to choir instruction because it related to a non-school sponsored excursion to South Africa" with two choir classes. The spokesperson added that the content of the discussion "was not an appropriate topic for this class and may have been offensive to some of our students."

Newsweek contacted Moms for Liberty and the San Ramon Valley Unified School District and the district's director of educational equity for comment by email on Tuesday.

It isn't the first time that the San Ramon Valley Unified School District has come under fire on such issues.

About a month ago, tensions rose during a public debate over a resolution on whether the school district should mandate flying a Pride flag during the month of June, with those in attendance split between support and opposition.

CBS News reported that some questioned whether the school district should discuss issues related to sexuality and gender at all, instead of leaving them to parents. Among the dozens of people in the room were several members of the Contra Costa County chapter of Moms for Liberty.

Despite the opposition of some members of the public, the school board passed the resolution unanimously.

[rabbitcruiser]

National Spicy Guacamole Day

Grab a chip and prepare for some heat: National Spicy Guacamole Day is on November 14. No longer solely the choice of Super Bowls and burritos, spicy guac has been making big moves through the culinary scene! From party dips to burgers and everything in-between, there’s always a reason for spicy guac. So pick some avocados and get mashing!

History of National Spicy Guacamole Day

On National Guacamole Day, sure, we celebrate the great green goo that is good guac. But on National Spicy Guacamole Day, we’re here specifically for the extra kick that goes with adding chile peppers to that same green stuff. Because if you’ve ever tried chugging water after accidentally biting into a serrano or a jalapeño, you know there’s no rush that comes nearly as close to that feeling that your tongue is going to burn off. 

Various global civilizations have been upping the ante in regards to the kick that comes from spicy peppers for centuries. Chile peppers are native to the Middle Americas and Mexico, all the way to the middle of South America and have been a staple in Aztec, Mayan, and Andean cuisine for centuries before the Europeans came and shipped those peppers worldwide. Likewise, in Asia, the Sichuan pepper, which actually creates a numbing sensation rather than a spicy one, has been an integral part of Sichuan cooking for even longer. 

By contrast, guacamole, as we know it today, could not have even been possible until at least the 1490s after Columbus made his second journey to the Americas, dropping off Asian spices such as cumin and the Persian lime in the land of avocados. In fact, the dish actually developed out of an Aztec staple that translates to avocado sauce. It was pretty much just mashed avocados and salt. Over time, the dish spread throughout the Americas, and even to Europe, and variations on avocado sauces with add-ins (some of them spicy) eventually led to the classic guac as we know it today. 

National Spicy Guacamole Day falls during prime football season, where the stuff is consumed by the pounds on tortilla-chip vessels as a critical game-time snack.

National Spicy Guacamole Day timeline

750 B.C.

Avocado Trees Appear in the Americas

Archaeologists have traced the avocado plant to 750 B.C. in what would later become Mexico and South America, laying the foundations for the dish.

16th century

Guacamole is First Recorded

Spicy guacamole is first recorded as “āhuacamolli” upon the Spanish arrival to the Aztec city of Tenochtitlan.

1993

Chipotle Opens

The popular chain (and its legendary guac) opens a small restaurant in Denver, CO, to complement the area’s growing burrito fascination.

1994

NAFTA

The U.S., Canada, and Mexico enter into the North American Free Trade Agreement in 1994, prompting the U.S. to quickly lift restrictions on avocado imports.

National Spicy Guacamole Day FAQs

Where are the best peppers to use to make spicy guacamole? 

Jalapeño is the most popular, and most accessible, pepper option. Serrano peppers are a little bit smaller and pack an even mightier punch for those that like to walk on the wild side. Regardless, don’t touch your eyes when you’re cutting!

Why does spicy guac cost extra?

There’s no doubt that guac and spicy guac cost a bit more than, say, salsa or queso at your favorite cantina. Although, occasionally, an avocado shortage is to blame, this is typically because of the amount of water needed to grow avocados, along with transportation costs and the labor involved in creating guac, from start to finish. 

What’s the difference between National Guacamole Day and National Spicy Guacamole Day?

National Spicy Guac Day celebrates the classic kick that jalapeños, serranos, or another spicy pepper adds to the popular dip, wherease National Guacomole Day celebrates the dip in in all its glorious forms. 

HOW TO CELEBRATE NATIONAL SPICY GUACAMOLE DAY

Make your own spicy guacamole: Sure, it’s easier to grab guac from your neighborhood Chipotle, but rather than doing that, grab a couple of avocados, some spicy peppers, and try out the old mortar and pestle. For added effect, throw on some salsa music and have a solo dance party to celebrate your delicious dip.

Throw a spicy guacamole guac-off: Grab your friends, a few pounds of avocados and serranos, and hit the kitchen! Making guacamole is fine and dandy, and sharing it is even better. But a friendly competition to see who really has the lowdown on the best kickin’ guac recipe? That takes the mole!

Host a spicy guac in the face: Put your throwing arm to the test with this spin on the classic pie in the face. Instead of sugar and whipped cream, indulge in a faceful of spicy, salty, zesty guac! What better way to sample dips from the guac-off than by seeing who can take a fistful of the green stuff in the face.

WHY WE LOVE NATIONAL SPICY GUACAMOLE DAY

Avocados are grown all over the world: If you’re familiar with the ‘Avocados from Mexico’ jingle, you know Mexico is one of the fruit’s most viable producers. However, avocados can also be found growing in California, Peru, New Zealand, and South Africa.

Spicy guacamole can be healthy: If you’re unsure of guacamole because of the high concentrations of fat in avocados, fear not. Avocados are an excellent source of monounsaturated fat (the good kind!) and they’re also rich in vitamins C, E, and K. Bonus, the peppers that make spicy guac, well, spicy, are rich in vitamins A and C, as well as potassium and antioxidants. Dip up!

Spicy guac goes well with anything: You don’t need a tortilla chip to enjoy spicy guacamole. Grab some carrots, cucumber, or even a whole crudité platter to dip in the stuff, or, better yet, throw it on a burger for a zesty, south-of-the-border spin.

Source

[sforspoot]

*Boss music starts playing*

(Maybe.. au? At some point? I’m curious on if that’d be interesting for these two to just be crochet dolls- what if I make more Pokémon characters into little dolls- just a thought-)(These liddol guys from here)

-1/4/2023

-Time spent, 3hrs

There are two types of Chrochet Emmet and Crochet Ingo fans, there are @lexiechr types and there are @salsa-di-pomodoro types….Honestly Lexie better start runnin at this point- sorry-

What happens in crochet club stays in crochet club-

-Crochet regards, Spootie boi