#<- me whenever i think about kanej :)
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high-quality-assorted-chaos · 10 months ago
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happy one year anniversary to this post!! still not over this!!! still thinking about how inej keeps the knife kaz gave her on her right forearm, the most accessible place she could pick, the easiest for her to quickly slide it into her dominant hand. thinking about how it's her most trusted weapon; she relies on it, uses it more often than her other knives. thinking about how people refer to her as kaz's "right hand", and so she in turn keeps kaz in her right hand. thinking about how it's not her prettiest knife or the nicest, but she sees it as more practical, without show and just intended for the job.
thinking about kaz giving inej her first knife. thinking about the way she named it sankt petyr. thinking about how sankt petyr had a brother that died before his 20th birthday. thinking about how he protected townspeople from a devil that lived in a lake. thinking about how the demon tried to seduce sankt petyr with the words of his dead brother. thinking about how when he finally lured it out of the water, sankt petyr was killed along with the devil.
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deathandrainbows1 · 10 months ago
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Kanej Headcanons - Touch
They might not be the physically intimate, can’t-keep-their-hands-off-eachother type of couple but the intimacy they can find in the smallest of acts like a brush against the neck or a caress of the hand cannot be put to words. They’re both so in love with each other it makes me sick.
Kaz loves holding onto Inej’s hand, he loves how warm and how alive she feels. By now he’s memorized every vein, line and callous on her hand, to the point where he knows the back of her hand better than his own. Inej likes how gentle, almost reverent he is with her, and the way he caresses her hand with his thumb.
Similarly, Inej loves holding onto  Kaz’s hands, the hands she’d spent so long admiring in their scarred, unnatural paleness from being in his gloves so much. She likes how it makes her feel in control; The control that she’d never had in her days in the Menagerie. Kaz finds the way she holds onto his hand and intertwined their fingers together comforting. He still gets chill everytime, in the good way (most of the time, at least).
It’s comforting for the both of them, they like rubbing the other’s hand with their thumb while they’re holding onto it and on days where holding hands is too much for them, they make do with linking their pinkies together.
And there are still days where its too much, days where Kaz can’t tell the feel of a living body from that of a dead one, and days where Inej can’t tell the touch of the boy she loves from that of a customer at the Menagerie.
They understand this, and respect it. They have memorized each other’s tells, whether it be the way Kaz freezes up at the slightest brush against his hand or how Inej flinches and sighs when she’s held, even if she tries to hide it. But, they try to push past their traumas together nonetheless. It has worked too, compared to when they started.
Still, when it does become overwhelming they both know to let go and give each other the space; Coming to terms with this fact alone makes them feel so much safer and more comfortable with physical contact. They’re both helping each other heal and recover from their respective traumas, and its beautiful.
That being said, they are still just kids in love.
Kaz is still utterly entranced by Inej. He stops to stare more often than he’d like to admit and tries to play it off when she catches him. She can see through it of course, that armour means nothing to her now.
Not that she’s any better either mind you, you’d think after all they’ve been through and seen, and how often they hold hands, she’d be used to the sight of Kaz’s bare hands. She isn’t, and still turns red whenever he takes his gloves off. Kaz still hasn’t noticed, clueless as he is but Inej is convinced that he does it on purpose.
Sleeping together in one bed is difficult, not that they haven’t tried. The amount of physical contact can get too much, too many nights Kaz has woken up in a cold sweat, shaking from nightmares about the Reaper Barge, and too often has Inej nearly stabbed Kaz after nightmares about the Menagerie. 
The solution? Separate beds.
They keep two beds next to each other separated by a small distance, that way they’re still close without quite touching. They still hold hands or link pinkies between the beds though it helps them sleep.
And on the days where they both can handle it, they push the beds together. It might take them a while before they’re comfortable enough to cuddle, but just the warmth and proximity is enough for the both of them for now.
Oh and Kaz absolutely does Inej’s hair.
It was therapeutic once they realised that its easier for the both of them when he touches hair rather than her skin. She finds it relaxing, and he is enchanted by her hair. She taught him how to oil it, brush it and braid it, and its almost a nightly or every-other-nightly ritual for them, Inej sitting there while Kaz does her hair. 
I do think that they would eventually become comfortable enough to move on to more intimate things, but that would probably take a long, long time.
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capinejghafa · 10 months ago
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kanej author recs | Patrocool
Notable/Favorite works:
band-aids on our bullet wounds
“Inej,” he said evenly, like how he used to greet her whenever she came to his window to report, but now she knew him well enough to see it for what he was; both a reminder of who she was and an acknowledgement that he saw her. He recognized her and said her name as if it was the simplest fact in the world. A series of mostly angsty one shots (some fluff too!)
Rating(s): M / Quirks: Multiple One Shots (refer to the tags for specifics)... trust me :)
and i hate myself everyday that’s dealt that i couldn’t comfort you
Dirtyhands had everything he had ever wanted and more. Kaz only wanted one thing- one holy, unattainable thing. Not thing. Person.
Rating(s): T / Quirks: Established Kanej (maybe kind of broken up?), Post-Canon, Sickfic, Angst with a Happy Ending
the demons within | collab w/ rainstormdragon
Out of all of Kaz’s so-called monstrous features, it was his eyes Inej noticed first. Two slitted pupils sitting in irises the color of soil after a rain– but when she had snuck up on him and he turned to look at her, they flashed like golden coins in the sun. She had seen his razor sharp teeth as he had spoken to Heleen, the unnatural sharpness of his bones and the way his fingers seemed just a bit too long. She knew what he was– damned by the Saints. But she was not afraid of him; an escape damned by the Saints was better than no escape at all.
Rating(s): E / Quirks: Established Kanej, Creatures AU - Demon, Demon/Human Relationship, Smut - Would heavily advise reading the tags first, Light Angst, Fluff (you know if think about it)...
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she-posts-nerdy-stuff · 8 months ago
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Intro post! + links to everything :)
Hi, I'm DK and this blog is mostly full of me talking about the Six of Crows and the rest of the Grishaverse! (and I'm also on AO3 as she_posts_nerdy_stuff)
It's occurred to me recently that I never did an intro post and also I'm just generally feeling that things over here are super disorganised so I've gone through all of my posts since 2022 (this was not a quick task you guys omg) and done my best to organise everything into tags so that you can access them all from here! All the links to the tags, or sometimes individual posts, are below the cut, and the categories are AO3, Grishaverse analysis, Grishaverse edits, Grishasverse knitting projects, and Grishaverse incorrect quotes.
Please note: this is a lot of stuff to wade through and I am sure to have missed the odd thing, but hopefully this is pretty mch everything! If you're looking for something that I've said should be here and can't find it, let me know and I'll do my best to track it down :)
Thank you all so much, love to you all <3
AO3 LINKS (I'm starting with the easier links, I don't have to make tags for these ones)
Original works
As I'm writing this I have four fics up on AO3, two of which are works in progress, and I'll update this post whenever that changes (ie when I finish them or when I start a new one)
UPDATE: Five fics now! Links are below <3
Daughter of the Rain and Snow
225k words, 146 chapters, Kanej focused with Wesper featured and Helnik kinda mentioned, post-canon, no archive warnings, completed
Summary:
Around ten years after the events of Crooked Kingdom, 25-year-old Captain Inej Ghafa frees Maya Olsen from a pleasure house in Ketterdam. Maya is looking for revenge against the man who put her in her position, a man who she knows nothing about except his name: Kaz Brekker.
Don't Go Blindly Into The Dark
100k + words, 60+ chapters, Wesper focused with Kanej featured and Helnik mentioned, pre-canon, canon divergence, no archive warnings, work in progress
Summary:
To hide that he can't read, Jan Van Eck has been forcing his son to pretend he's blind since he was eight years old. Wylan is now attending Ketterdam University, and meeting Jesper Fahey may very well be about to change his life. But is he safe to tell Jesper the truth? And what will Jesper say if he does?
Jesper is struggling to weigh up his life in the Barrel and his life at the University of Ketterdam, and there's a good chance that his growing debt is about to make the decision for him. He hasn't attended class consecutively for months, but maybe that will change when his newest project includes partnering up with Wylan Van Eck. But can he really leave the Barrel behind him? And how long can he keep up the pretence of who he thinks Wylan wants him to be?
Meanwhile there is a darkness growing in Ketterdam, and it seems a killer may be stalking the streets of West Stave. An unknown evil is closing its jaws over the city, and it’s starting to feel like nowhere is safe.
Our Gods Have Abandoned Us
19k + words, 11 chapters, Helnik and Kanej with Wesper kinda featured, so much angst, post-canon, canon-divergence (Van Eck wins AU), major character death, work in progress
This one properly started with this post
Summary:
"Of course they do, Jes," Kaz flexed his fingers in his gloves, "That's what losing a war means. And when that war comes, Kerch can't afford for Shu Han to win it. They'll back Fjerda against Ravka now so that when Shu Han turn against them Fjerda will back them in return. Ravka's navy will fall to Kerch's, most of Ravka's territory will go to Fjerda and if it has any money left then I expect plenty of it will be given to Kerch as part of the deal. The Shu will move against Fjerda to take back the territories they were trying to win from Ravka, and Fjerda will pay them little mind until they declare war on Kerch. Novyi Zem will back Shu Han, because they still think their trade ambassador was killed by the Kerch in what was actually Shu Han's last attempt to start a war over here, Fjerda will back Kerch, refugees will flee to the Wandering Isle and their economy won't be able to withstand it, and meanwhile I will remain exactly where I am and get drunk toasting to the end of the world. You're all welcome to join me,"
OR -
A Van Eck wins AU, mostly exploring how the Crows would respond to the situation but I have some semblance of a larger plot forming I just need to piece it together
If I'm Good Will You Come Back?
2k words, 1 chapter, sad and angst, gen but Helnik mentioned, canon compliant, major character death, completed
Summary:
Five times Matthias Helvar spoke to his baby sister through Djel, and one time that she answered
I’ve put major character death as a tag but it’s nothing beyond canon, it’s just depicted in this fic from a slightly different perspective 👍
Portrait of a Dead Girl
7 chapters so far, gen but also F/M, Alina and the Darkling are in a relationship in this but it isn't shipping them and the Darkling is the villain, canon divergence, alternate universe, rape/non-con, underage, major character death, work in progress
Summary:
Alina Starkov was given to Duke Aleksander Morozova of Os Alta in marriage when she was fifteen years old. Within a year, she was dead. The official cause of Alina's death was marked as putrid fever, but many at the time believed, and many in the future will go on to believe, that she was poisoned by her husband.
-
This fic is completely inspired by The Marriage Portrait by Maggie O'Farrel, which is a work of historical fiction based on the real lives of Duchess Lucrezia d'Este (née de' Medici) and Duke Alfonso ii d'Este of Ferrara. You don't need any prior knowledge of The Marriage Portrait or history to read and enjoy this fic, but know that my writing is very much going to mimic that of O'Farrel in format and although I'm hoping to write the story in my personal usual writing style I will definitely be borrowing a lot of my descriptors, symbols, and so on and so forth from O'Farrel - there will be some of mine too though :)
Somehow, Through The Storm
11 chapters so far but ongoing, kanej-centric with wesper and helnik featured, angst like you wouldn't believe, but also some happier times (ish), alternate universe, major character death, rape/non-con, work in progress
Summary:
In the slums of the Warehouse District, Kaz and Inej are struggling their way through a seemingly unending winter. Wrapped up in a stranger's overcomplicated marriage contract that he is convinced is key to solving the merciless weather, Kaz remains busy and distracted for days on end, putting everything else at risk. So when a storm ravages the city and sweeps Inej into danger, the offer of safety, food, and a place to stay is an overwhelming one - no matter the cost. Terrified of mounting threats, Inej signs a contract - not knowing she would land herself trapped at the Menagerie. Kaz signs a contract that states if he can walk all the way through the city and back to the Warehouse District with Inej behind him, never looking back at her, they will both go free. But this is the Barrel, the darkest part of the city where the rules of physics can change with the stroke of a pen; the journey back will not be the same as journey there… * This is a Hadestown-inspired reimagining of the tale of Orpheus and Eurydice, casting Kaz and Inej as our main characters and heavily featuring our beloved Crows, set in an alternate version of the Grishaverse with a different magic system based entirely on contracts.
Recommendations
Posts where I'm recommending fics can be found here
GRISHAVERSE ANALYSIS LINKS
Okay this is gonna be where this starts getting complicated to organise but here we go, and hopefully now that I have this as a place to keep it organised I'll be able to routinely come back here and update it so we can keep it all together :)
Assorted analysis - Grishaverse
Grishaverse asks
-> subcategory of asks: 'DK finally gets it together and answers her asks because it's about damn time (working title)'
Chapter-by-chapter SOC analysis
(NOTE: I've really been meaning to bring this series back I just haven't had time, are people still interested??)
Specific posts (I've put these ones here because they're generally the ones people ask to be tagged in or that I reference in other posts)
Kanej bathroom scene analysis
Kaz and Wylan's potential to become each other
Rare Spices Billboard
Inej vs the Wraith
Kaz's views on hierarchy
Religion in the Grishaverse (this one is mostly Djel and a little bit of the Saints; I did also write a lot in a reblog of a really good post on Ghezenism by @skepticalcatfrog as well so if you're interested in either part of that you can find it here, I would highly recommend reading their post it's really interesting)
Shadow and Bone TV show analysis
GRISHAVERSE EDIT LINKS
I'm not really sure how to organise this one but all of them are tagged here
If people would like me to I could come back and try to arrange them by character or ship or something?
GRISHAVERSE KNITTING LINKS
Most of the time when I post about this stuff I give updates on all of them, but if you happen to want to filter them (or if I need to come back looking for something specific) then here are the projects:
Kefta cardigan
Six of Crows blanket
Toy crows of the Crows
GRISHAVERSE INCORRECT QUOTES
I organised these by their sources because there were too many for me to choose another way to sort them tbh
Text posts I made based on things my friends and I have actually said. In real life. - the series
Source: friends
Source: the completely made up adventures of Dick Turpin
Source: community
Source: Parks and Rec
Source: the good place
Source: modern family
Source: our flag means death
Source: ghostbusters
Source: renegade nell
Source: the office
Source: young sheldon
Source: the cornetto trilogy
Source: big bang theory
Source: what we do in the shadows
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stromuprisahat · 2 months ago
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When I read SoC,I loved Kaz,Inej,Matthias and Nina(didn't give a fuck about anyone else). However,I was "no,no,no,no" whenever Bardugo insisted Kaz and Inej were 16/17. With some isolated moments,I would be able to believe they were particularly capable,hardened teenagers. However,seeing the whole picture made me unable to buy they were so young. Their power,reputations,mindsets in a crime-filled town. Kaz was 27/28/29 and Inej was 26/27/28 in SoC/CK,according to what Bardugo had shown us. As an adult woman who spent two years being a sex slave and 8 years growing as a criminal and recovering from her trauma while healing from PTSD,Inej is admirable. As a 16 yo girl,it forces my suspension of disbelief. Yes,teens can be clever and wise,but wise and clever for their ages,they're not adults.
As for Kaz,he's emotionally immature,but he seems more like a stunted adult man. Besides,he's basically a crime lord. If Kaz,besides being a prodigy,was the son/protege of a criminal kingpin(instead of a nobody who started from scratch),I could see him having such reputation. But as some rando that got scammed at a young age,lol nope.
Also,the Kanej dynamics would feel more believable if they were grown ups who spent roughly a decade together. Also,there's a lot of comedy fodder for the two young adults having to cat herd a bunch of wildly different teens.
Yes, yes, yes!
(For Kaz's flavour of immaturity, him as crimi-protégé and Kanej's dynamics with quite younger rest of the Crows.)
I didn't notice the first time I was reading, but then again- it went so quickly, I missed much more-, but the two of them should definitely be older.
Kaz had to learn how to survive, built reputation strong enough to be sought after in Ketterdam underworld, climb through the ranks of the Dregs and rebuilt them. Inej isn't his only discovery- he has other people he recruited, for which he'd need to learn about them in the first place and earn their loyalty. None of it should realistically take only a few months. Not without a mentor or influential relative to clear his path for him.
If you'd tell me he's in his early twenties, I'd clap my hands for how quickly he raised so high.
Inej doesn't think, speak or act like a teenager, no matter how mature. This will be one of those moments I'm avoiding, since experience is very subjective to use as a scale, but I've met mature teenagers. They might have their priorities sorted, they might have heavy responsibilities, they might have their shit together more than any official adult, but there's always something, some aspect in which you'll recognize just how young they are. Inej haven't made me feel that way once.
She's wise for her age, but she's believably wise for mid-twenties.
The way they're comfortable around each other would make me guess some five years for sure. They might cooperate closely now, but first of all- I doubt Kaz would simply let anyone so close after a few weeks. Even with her valuable skills, I think Inej would need time to "worm" her way into his confidence. Second- they're NOT friends. Friendships are built on what you have in common, and I highly doubt Kaz is willing to share his past or feelings with anyone out of his own free will. Their relationship looks more like something, where Inej grew to trust him and opened up little by little, and AFTER SOME TIME managed to notice and figure out bits and pieces about him. Even ordinary co-workers bond by talking about their daily life. Kaz and Inej shouldn't have that. At least their first year or two.
It might be mostly that emotional maturity, but I'd guess Inej a bit older than Kaz.
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crowpricorn · 1 year ago
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thanks for the tag @jackwolfes :)
When did you post your first ever fanfic?
it was centuries ago on an italian fic site (EFP) 😶 i was around 12-13yo (too young to be on the internet imo, but there we went!)
First characters you wrote for?
i'm sure it was someone from "total drama: the island" probably duncan x courtney or trent x gwen (i was a loser for them, they were my first ever conscious ships), followed suit by some glee shit for sure!
Main characters you currently write for?
jesper and wylan! and soc characters in general
Characters you haven't written about before but plan to write for soon?
i wanted to write something for the owl house but i don't think i want to anymore. maybe i'll write something for the dragon prince though, since i see myself a lot in callum and i love everything 'bout the show!
Fandoms you currently write for?
six of crows (no one is surprised)
Platonic pairings you currently write for?
every platonic crows pairing! i love their friendship so much
Romantic pairings you currently write for?
wesper (no one is surprised pt. 2) with a sprinkle of kanej and helink here and there
Your three most used tags on AO3?
apparently: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Pining, and Friends to Lovers :) yeah sounds like me!
Your current platform for posting works?
ao3
Snippet of something you're currently working on?
i have 0 will to write lately, but whenever i do my brain is just consumed by witch wylan au so here's a very small thing from there:
In the past few days, Wylan learned that Jesper is ashamed and jittery plenty. He snaps to the tiniest of inconveniences, he puts on smiles too big and cheeky to be honest, his gaze gets unfocused whenever Wylan reprimands him for poor work and teaches him the right ways. Jesper always puts his hands under his armpits and yells that he knows how to do it. Then he frowns and tries to make it better by cracking a joke or calling Wylan boss and witchling and gorgeous — and that always makes Wylan flush, partly embarrassed, partly mad. Mostly flattered.
tagging @sunfl8wer @jazzythursday @whooshmagic and whoever else wants to do this :)
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strawberryloveyyy · 2 years ago
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Reasons why I think Cowboy Like Me is the Kanej anthem
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warnings: Description of violence
The song is about two con artists falling in love, which is fitting despite Inej and Kaz not being con artists. They’re criminals, they have very similar themes in my opinion (not necessarily con artists and criminals but Kanej.). So the refrain starts of like this:
'I've got some tricks up my sleeve Takes one to know one You're a cowboy like me Never wanted love Just a fancy car Now I'm waiting by the phone Like I'm sitting in an airport bar You had some tricks up your sleeve Takes one to know one'
“I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve” immediately reminded me of Kaz’s talent for sleight of hand tricks, but also his thing of not fully revealing his plans. There’s this thing in the books that I noticed.. the other crows whenever I read their chapters always tended to ask these questions, ‘what is Kaz planning?’ Or ‘What did Kaz plan?’ ‘Where did Kaz go?’
“Takes one to know one” Inej doesn’t necessarily completely understands kaz in the beginning. But she slowly grows to do so. Though I don’t think I can say much about since I haven’t finished reading CK yet. And SoC ended of with Inej not being able to see through kaz or through his armour, so I don’t think I can say much. But I probably will edit this after I finish CK.
“You’re a Cowboy Like Me never wanted love just a fancy car” I think this explains how Inej and Kaz never really meant to fall for each other. It wasn’t something they had planned to do, but did anyway. Both had separate goals. Inej wanted to find her parents, get away from Ketterdam, away from the menagerie. Pay off her indenture, live her life at sea, have her own ship, and hunt slavers. And Kaz wanted to grow in the barrel, to avenge his brother, to make Pekka Rollins pay for what he did to him, he wanted vengeance, money, riches, wealth. They both wanted all of these different things, these things that would make it so that they are separate. But in the process, they crossed paths and ended up wanting each other. And all of these things also apply to this verse.
'You're a bandit like me Eyes full of stars Hustling for the good life Never thought I'd meet you here It could be love We could be the way forward And I know I'll pay for it'
“You’re a bandit like me, eyes full of stars. Hustling for the good life, never thought I’d meet you here.” This line also circles back to the last paragraph’s topic. How both of them had this hope of doing better for themselves, and find this ‘good life’. But unexpectedly found each other.
“It could be love, we could be the way forward, and I know I’ll pay for it” We know how Inej has troubles with touch. From her time in the menagerie, I don’t think I can fully grasp what happened to her. Yet. But I do know that it has had a grave affect on her and who she will come to be. Like for example, her relationship with Kaz. She is pretty hesitant to touch as though she is afraid to relive the past times men had tried to touch her. Yet she tries, slowly. One thing about Inej is that she knows what she can and can’t take. She knows her worth. (In progress of editing)
In SoC it was said that Inej had tried to escape the menagerie, but she failed as she was caught. Tante Helen beat her and locked her in her room for a long amount of time as a consequence.
This line also reminds me of this thing in the book where he says. ‘He needed to tell her . . . what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn’t pull himself into some semblance of a man for her. That without meaning to, he begin to lean on her, to look for her, to need her near. He needed to thank her for his new hat.’ For starters... he’s trying. Trying to overcome himself, overcome this reputation, this image of a man the barrel created. Dirtyhands. And he’s trying to overcome his trauma. Even if he feels like he’s drowning whenever he comes into contact with skin, with people, with her. (Yes I read this spoiler in a comment section somewhere) Yet at the end of CK he held her hand, he brought down his armour for her. He paid for it. It was love. This is my first way of interpreting it, and the other is...
We all know of this scene in SoC.
In the end of SoC Inej gets kidnapped by Jan Van Eck. And in her absence we see Kaz being more... 'Dirtyhands has come to see the work done.' And that is something we get to see during the first chapter of CK, Wylan’s perspective. Where he gets these flashbacks of Kaz, who was tangling this man by the ankles at a lighthouse. Who had answered all of Kaz’s questions out of fear, fear of falling to his death. Yet despite his pleas, Kaz lets go making him fall to the ground. This shows a bit more unhinged Kaz, it seems like he would do anything to get her back. Though we do know murder isn’t something beyond him.
There's also this scene in the first book, where they were ambushed by Pekka's people. Inej was left alone by herself since she wasn't with the rest of the crows when the decoy ship exploded. And she ended up getting stabbed when she was fighting with one of the men. Oomen. She nearly died in that fight, and if it wasn't for kaz, she probably would have. This is the scene where he said that most annoying line, 'I protect my investments' . Eventually, Kaz had carried Inej back to the schooner. Where we get the well-known scene of Kaz... So basically what happens is that Kaz got angry. Very angry. And got even angrier when Oomen spit on his face, which Kaz wiped with a handkerchief. Remember the handkerchief will you? He told Jesper to hold Oomen, and he then took a knife somewhere in his clothes, and slashed Oomen's eye. He carved out an 'X'... And I then I kid you not. Reached in Oomen's eye socket with his gloved hand and pulled it out, throwing it overboard. And remember the handkerchief? He stuffed that in the eye socket. yeah. shoved it in the eye socket. THen he threw the man off the boat.
And all of that ties back to that line he said in Shadow and Bone's season 2: 'This city's price is blood. And I am happy to pay with yours'
I definitely go a little insane with the three reasons why he's paying for it...
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malconnorsupremacy · 1 year ago
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our secret moments in a crowded room
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Pairings: Kanej, mentioned zoyalai
Rating: Mature
word count: 1.5k words
There was something about tonight.
Maybe it was the overly extravagant outfits- the vibrant coats with scrunched fabric flowers, the prodigiously flattering gowns and the decidedly complex hairstyles. Maybe it was the aura of effervescence surrounding the vast room as people chattered and drank and ate delicacies passed about by the hurrying waiters. Maybe it was the man across from her, with his sophisticated coat and neatly done hair. The dot of black amongst a canvas of colour. 
Or maybe it was just the wine. 
Inej stood amid the crowd, just another face, another shadow. An unnoticeable figure in a simple Suli dress. But she didn’t mind. She didn’t require attention. She drew it in bouts when she needed it, when the tightrope walker inside of her shone through. And why would she require anyone else’s attention, really, when the man she loved had his eyes on her so fondly.
The rush in the air had a reason, of course. The reason being the King of Ravka had found his Queen, Sankta Zoya. And they were to be married. The pompous occasion attracted people from all over the world, one of them being Inej. Part of the reason why she was invited was the Suli delegation. And part of it was because she was good friends with a certain Sturmhond. 
Of course, the only reason Kaz had agreed to be her plus-one was to spot royal and known nincompoops and possibly loot them in the foreseen future. No other reason.
As if he ever expected me to believe that, she thought dryly as she watched Kaz sneaking glances at her amidst his conversation with a rich mercher.
Inej whiled away her time talking to people she had no interest in making conversation with, and refusing chest-thumping men who wouldn’t stop asking her for a drink.
“You look ravishing, Miss Ghafa, would you like to dance?” one of them, an aqualine Ravkan who called himself Sebastien Vhiel, asked as dipped his bearded chin to look into her eyes. His attempt at being romantic, she supposed.
“I prefer Captain, actually,” she said as she sipped from her verre.
“Oh” His mouth opened as he came to a realisation. “You are the Suli Captain, The Wraith.”
“Yes, well spotted,” said Inej.
“It’s quite bold, dare I say, to be a woman aboard a ship, let alone be its captain.” He was frowning now, as if contemplating the sheer absurdity of the situation.
“It’s also quite bold to spew nonsense in front of a woman who doesn’t give a fuck about what you think, and yet here you are.” Inej resisted the urge to smirk when she saw the man’s face  turn red. Now, she’ll have you know, she didn’t like to swear much at all. But after being hit on by such blithering fools, wouldn’t anybody want to pop the F-bomb?
As the Ravkan turned to walk away with his scattered dignity, another man appeared behind him, seemingly proud. 
“It appears you are having fun,” he commented as he drew closer to her.
“Why of course, it is such a joy being insulted by idiots with brains the size of a pea.” She rolled her eyes while Kaz grinned.
“Besides,” she looked at him narrowly, “you left me all alone all night.”
Kaz sighed. “I apologise, my dear Inej. But I managed to plan another robbery mere seconds after talking to Mr. Berr. The poor fool gave away too much, much of which was fake. And he thought he was being smart. He won’t see this one coming.” Inej could see the glint that lit up his eyes whenever he talked about a job. This one was going to be fun, that much she could already imagine.
But she wasn’t going to talk about future heists tonight, he could tell her his plan later.
For now,
“Ask me to dance with you,” she all but commanded.
Kaz raised an eyebrow. “You want a cripple to dance with you?”
When she nodded, he curled one end of his mouth. “Why so, love?” 
Oh, how she loved it when he called her that.
“As a compensation, for leaving me alone. Ask me for a dance, and ask me nicely.”
“Very well. Please, my darling Inej, treasure of my heart, won’t you do me the honour of dancing with me?” he said before holding out a gloved hand. She wanted to kiss him.
Instead, she slipped her hand in his and let him lead her to where other couples were already swaying. 
Before Kaz placed a hand on her waist, he slowly whispered, “I can’t say I’ve danced before.”
“Me neither,” Inej said as she interlaced their fingers. “But we can learn. Together.”
They danced away from the others, that is, if you could really call it dancing. They barely moved their feet, just a few inches back and forth periodically. It would be scandalous if anybody recognised the Bastard of the Barrel and the Terror of the Seas dancing with their arms around each other, looking like they were madly in love, but a quick glance across the room would have anyone assured nobody cared about anyone’s business other than their own. 
The feeling of solitude and secrecy overcame Inej. How ironic to be surrounded and yet alone.
“You’re smiling,” Kaz noticed.
“Yes, I am. This is nice,” Inej replied.
“It is,” Kaz said and Inej almost cried there wasn’t enough light in the room for if there were, she was certain she would catch him blushing. She could, however, see the half-lidded looks he kept offering her every few seconds.
“You’re dying to kiss me, aren’t you?” 
Kaz’s eyes visibly darkened, and she could see the gears of his mind working before he gave her a smirk.
“I’m offended, Inej, I thought I was harder to read than that.”
“Well, I wouldn’t have guessed so easily, if it wasn’t for that look you were giving me all night.”
“What look?”
Inej mirrored his expression. “The look you give a pigeon you can’t wait to pickpocket.”
Kaz fumbled with his footing, managing to step on Inej’s foot and earning a yelp and a shove on the shoulder.
A few people turned to stare, and Inej swiftly pulled away from him. 
The very next second, Kaz felt a weight drift from the room and he simply followed suit, grabbing his cane from the bar and hoping the spectators didn’t see his face. They’d been careless. If even one of them spread talks, or recognised them, it would be disastrous. 
But then, Kaz thought as he spotted the chamber Inej planned on staying in, offered to her by King Nikolai himself, the ignoramuses present there had hardly the wit of an ostrich. For them, Kaz and Inej were but a flustered couple in love.
When Kaz entered the chamber, he saw Inej already unhooking her earrings.
“No plans of returning to the party, then, I suppose?” Kaz said as he discarded his coat.
“None,” said Inej, beginning to unclasp her necklace. Moving in strides, Kaz appeared behind her in the mirror and hesitantly raised his hands toward her necklace. They’d healed profoundly over the years, and yet there was always consent in each and every touch and kiss they planted on one another. Inej nodded, Go on.
Kaz removed the necklace, delicate as it was and laid it in Inej’s palm. He then, yet again, met her eyes in the mirror, seeking permission.
Inej arched her neck, Finish the story.
Kaz lowered his head and placed a kiss at the very spot he’d touched her for the first time ever, back at the bathroom in the Geldrenner Suite. He’d once mentioned to Inej it was his favourite spot to kiss on her body, it was the spot that gave him the most joy being able to touch and it was the spot which reminded him of how far they’d come. 
Inej smiled as he trailed his lips up to her ear, her temple and then back to her neck, his hands gently cupping her shoulders. After a few minutes, which Inej was sure she’d spent in heaven, Kaz turned her and pecked her nose.
“Inej, I love you, but the look I have on my face when I want to pickpocket a blockhead is not the same as the one I have on while I'm thinking about kissing you,” he said with utmost solemnity.
A giggle broke out of Inej, but was soon silenced by Kaz’s lips on hers. His kiss was slow and soft at first, gradually becoming more passionate as Inej responded eagerly. Neither of them could ever fathom how quickly things always escalated between them, how fervently they showed how they needed each other and how it was always the same tide of feelings that washed over them each time- of love, security and bliss.
At the end of the night, Inej lay with her hair strewn and lips kiss-swollen, a serene smile plastered on her face. 
There was definitely something about tonight.
on ao3
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arillusionist · 1 year ago
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my s&b episode 1 live reaction:
fantasy racism?? really?? 💀💀 they made up a whole ass slur too??
mal is ugly alina is so pretty
OMGOMGOMG ITS KETTERDAM THE CROWS ARE COMING AUAUHDHFHFHFJKFHJGHKJGHKJHGKJHKJGH
im only really watching this show for the crows since i havent even read s&b
really hoping the crows are as good as they are in the books 🤞🤞
JESPER AND KAZ DHJFHFJKHJKHGKJGGH
"HELLO INEJ" I SCREAMEDDD also kaz's teensy smile before he said it... I SAW THAT.....
INEJ IS HERE MY GIRL IS HERE
I LOVE YOU INEJ
KANEJJJJJJ (theyre literally just talking)
"shes not like you. no one is" I KNOW HES TECHNICALLY BEING AN ASSHOLE BUT STILL DHFKLFJKJLKGJ
aww back to ravka 💔💔
i am gonna beat these white hoes up
is this zoya?? i feel like it is but i thought she was suli?? i could be wrong tho i barely know anything ab her she was in ck for like 5 pages
oh it is zoya!! girl stop flirting with mal you're too good for him
"you always find me" omg kanej parallel 😍😍 except not really cuz alina is literally in plain sight
omg ketterdam mention 2.0?????
YESYESYEYES KETTERDAM AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY CROWS
stop i thought the guy was matthias at first 😭😭 but if they go thru fjerda maybe they'll meet him
also where the hell is nina ☹️ is she not part of the crew yet
omggg crows banter i love them sm
HEARTRENDER????? NINA???? PLEASE BE NINA AUGHHHHHHHH
aww its not nina
back to alina
ALINA NO DONT GO INTO THE FOLD HES NOT WORTH IT
oh nvm what is she doing
FUCK SHE IS GOING ALINA DONT DO THIS
im being overdramatic btw it was very obvious she was gonna go
also i dont actually dislike mal im being dramatic about that too
LOL
oh its that darkling person i think
the creature got mal the Chosen One moment for alina is coming i can feel it lmaoo
oh nvm i guess
WAIT IT GOT HER NOW SHES GONNA DO THE CHOSEN ONE MOMENT
dawg why the hell is mal just lying there he doesnt even seem to care
KETTERDAM AGAINNN ugh finally
i love the crows so much idk if i said it a million times already but whenever they come on screen i starting giggling and kicking my feet
oh its that alexei guy... so this is how theyre connecting the crows to alina's story
not alexei believing he'll actually be set free 🤡 this guy dumb asf
"you're in ketterdam now" girl.
not kaz being completely unfazed the whole time 💀💀 he really is like the books except WHERES THE DIALOGUE THE SMUG COMMENTS
and we're done!! i'll watch ep 2 tmrw cuz i dont wanna rush this
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rainysunrise · 2 years ago
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tv tag game!
— list 8 shows for your followers to get to know you better. tagged by dearest @simplymakkari (I’m a month late to this i’m sorry lmao)
1. Fleabag (2016-2019)
Do I even have to explain? This is an absolute masterpiece in terms of storytelling. The dark humor is perfect, the trouble, the character creation, the romance, the way it shows how love can be painful but still beautiful and change us in so many ways ahhhh, it absolutely broke me and I still rewatch it whenever I need a punch in the face and a good cry but also ! When I just want to make myself feel better about how fvcked up I am lmao highly recommend
2. The Haunting of Hill House (2018)
Listen- I am a great fan of horror, a connoisseur if I can say so myself. And I’d say this is simply the best horror story I’ve ever seen with my own eyes. It has everything, the pain, the beauty, THE REPRESENTATION. And Victoria Pedretti that brought Nell Crain to life in such a way that she became my ultimate comfort character (which probably isn’t that good but shh). I recommend for everyone to watch, if not for the story then for the plot twist alone because it is brilliant.
3. Hannibal (2013-2015)
Do I even need to explain? lmao The gay art piece that altered my brain chemistry in ways I can’t possibly explain at an age way too young AND I REGRET NOTHING, this is culture (with a trademark) And if you haven’t seen it where have you been????
4. YOU (2018-)
Came for Victoria Pedretti, stayed for everything else. Honestly, I expected it to be awful from everything I’ve heard and seen but the storytelling is brilliant (even though sometimes I want to throw my laptop out the window) and I don’t know what they put in it but I can’t let this show go. AND NOW WITH GOLDROSE A HANNIGRAM CODED ROMANCE?? Say no more, I will stay til the end. Although I don’t think it’s for everyone tbh. (check out my goldrose fics thanks)
5. Supernatural (2005-2020)
Oh, boy, are there even words to describe it? The show that absolutely changed my life by throwing me into the fandom madness in highschool and introduced me to twitter and instagram editing damn. It has everything, monsters, magic, myths, legends, every possible plot line and trope you could think of and DESTIEL most iconic couple of this site so. Yes. Don’t watch it.
6. The Boys (2019-)
Got sick of Marvel, moved on to evil superheroes, and got hooked. Also did it for Jensen Ackles before he even came on the show and was not disappointed. Y’all can find it controversial but this show is so good in my opinion, most of the time you can’t even expect what’s going to happen and the character arcs are chef's kiss. Highly recommend ONLY if you are able to stand a lot of gore and nudity, it is a bit rough. (comic books are also super cool)
7. Shadow and Bone (2021-)
Wasn’t gonna put it here, but! It is my newest obsession and made me come back to books after a very long time (I am currently reading the soc duology). I am absolutely in love with it, the crows especially, the couples?? Kanej?? Helnik?? Wesper?? All of the characters separately?? Mark me down as mad, I can’t get enough of it, I already know it’s about to be my favorite for years to come.
8. Over The Garden Wall (2014)
Just think about it guys: A cartoon, vintage style, fairytale style, with horror motifs an amazing plot, and amazing characters, that makes you want to curl up with a cup of tea during an autumn rainy day and just enjoy yourself. It makes me soft, comfort show fr and I rewatch it every Halloween because it also has a Halloween setting (in a way). I recommend it to anyone. Honorable mentions: Killing Eve, Merlin, Sherlock, Good Omens, Normal People, The Last of Us, OMFD etc etc (I could go on for hours)
tagging: @thefiresgone @ashksa @abliafina-18782 + anyone else who wants to (i don't know too many ppl here lmao sorry)
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19burstraat · 3 years ago
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still maintain that the chapel scene in 1x05 is the best scene in the s&b show. (whenever people talk about That scene in episode 5 I always think they mean this one and then get disappointed when I realise they mean the darkalina one hsksjdj). besides the 'oh it's book kaz omg' thing when he beats up the inferni (personally I think people equating book kaz with JUST being violent is like a,,, whole other thing I have beef with but I won't go there today) just,,, everything about it is done so well.
the fact that it's a chapel has no bearing on the scene right up until inej arrives; kaz beats the shit out of the inferni with the candelabra, the inferni walks on the pews, kaz throws the candelabra against the pews and the inferni is about to kill him in there using the candle flame; just generally they're pretty irreverent and the setting isn't really relevant.... Until Inej saves Kaz.
there is a very consistent religious motif around kaz and inej in the books, especially in crooked kingdom. (my favourite is "I feel sorry for you, Brekker. There is nothing sacred in your life." There was a long pause, and then Kaz said, “You're wrong.” but there's plenty more; I think Kaz describes Inej as looking like a gilded icon in the bathroom scene, etc.) There's arguably a handwashing / penance thing going on as well that I detailed in a different post. So the church setting only becomes relevant, really, when Inej saves Kaz. And the fact that she's standing above him and he's looking up at her, like she's an actual Saint, or else an icon and then it's just. Hhhhh. The fact Inej stays so still after she's thrown the knife as well... she's shocked obviously, but it really is like she's some kind of statue or saintly icon. And yknow, there's a lot of irony around the fact they just killed a bloke in a church (though it's kind of their thing isn't it,,, doing irreverent/illegal shit) but I just. The look on Kaz's face is SO good immense props to Freddy, bc you can basically see the oomen-eye-pulling, van-eck-felling sentiment settling in. Like. There's something sacred in his life now!! And they're in a fucking church when he realises it!!
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plus, the score that plays sounds like an organ,, like, a church organ,,, (I am still so mad that piece wasn't properly released bc ?!!#?-#-&#&!!";;#£ GIRL HELP) but it was Definitely on purpose bc it doesn't reoccur anywhere else in the series as far as I remember. In terms of a prequel setup for Kanej it's perfect bc it fits with all the themes and the motifs from the books and ALSO it makes me lose my tiny mind every time I remember it so two big wins there
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capinejghafa · 2 years ago
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kanej + post-canon & “that’s the laugh”
short story by @oneofthewednesdays (under read more :D)
It took two weeks for Inej to finally summon the courage to ask Kaz the question that had been plaguing her since that morning at Fifth Harbor. During the day, she slowly remembered the girl she used to be—the girl who let her eyes drift shut when her mother massaged warm oil in her hair. Each time her father pressed a gruff kiss on the crown of her head, she remembered staring up at him on the hirewire. She remembered thinking he had hung the moon. 
But long after her parents slipped away for bed, she would lie awake, staring past the gossamer curtains at the glimmering waters of the Geldcanal. She could see the full-bellied moon reflected in the water. Watching the boats drift lazily past, she imagined the attic of the Slat awash in moonlight. Had Kaz left the attic window open for her? Whenever she remembered that morning, she remembered the feeling of her body braced against his—the cool touch of his fingers, intertwined with hers. She remembered the way his eyes had softened before he said something strange. 
“That’s the laugh,” he had murmured.
For two weeks, she repeated his words over and over in her head until exhaustion finally claimed her. 
But now, she was walking side-by-side with Kaz through the warehouse district. He had turned up on the doorstep of the Van Eck Estate earlier that morning, intent on ensuring the Wraith was well-stocked on her maiden voyage. He had greased the palms of the foreman of a warehouse that stocked arms and munitions. The foreman turned a blind eye as they wandered up and down rows of muskets and heavy cannons, pausing occasionally to examine the merchandise. Whenever Kaz turned away, she would chew on her bottom lip, certain that the question would spill from her lips unbidden if she didn’t keep them firmly clasped. 
But Kaz noticed. He always noticed. 
“Something is bothering you,” Kaz observed. “Am I bothering you, Inej?” 
She might have mistaken his tone as casual if she didn’t see the way his bare fingers clenched around the head of his cane. He was as nervous as she was—perhaps more so. It was a rare glimpse of the boy beneath the façade. At the realization, she couldn’t help herself. The corners of her lips turned up in the softest of smiles. 
“There was something you said that morning at Fifth Harbor,” she confessed slowly. “Something I haven’t been able to stop thinking about.” 
Pulling her mother’s shawl tightly around her shoulders, she turned to face him.  Pale morning light was filtering through the warehouse window, casting half of his face in shadow. His jaw tightened, but he gave the barest nod. Go on. Finish the story. 
“That’s the laugh?” she asked.
Her words hung between them, suspended in the air like dust motes dancing in the early morning sun. They were an echo—the memory of a moment so fleeting sometimes Inej was certain it had all been a dream. For a long moment, she thought he wouldn’t answer. His eyes remained flat, the eyes of a shark sliding through dark waters. But then his gaze slid to the head of his cane. He stared down at his clenched fists as he spoke. 
“I almost drowned beneath the Ice Court,” Kaz confessed. “For years, the promise of vengeance kept me alive. But when the baleen started to bubble, all I could think of was you, Inej. All I could think of was your laughter.” 
He paused, clearing his throat before continuing. 
“When you laugh, I remember a time before Ketterdam, before Pekka Rollins,” he said. “When you laugh, I remember a time when I used to believe there was magic in this world.”
Inej could feel her heart fluttering in her chest. All of her doubts—all of her fears—felt like distant memories. She remembered the girl who once doubted that the world could change—that girl was a fool. The realization was so miraculous that she could feel laughter bubbling to her lips. Startled, Kaz’s gaze snapped up. But his eyes softened as they traced the contours of her lips. 
“Thank you,” she said simply, reaching forward to take his hand in hers. 
He closed the distance between them.
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map-of-obsessions · 2 years ago
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The Waves Recede- Kanej one shot
Summary: Inej apologises for her comment on the boat at the end of Soc, Kaz finally tells her why he can't stand contact
Tags: Kanej, hurt/comfort, Post Canon, Post Crooked Kingdom, Mention of the Menagerie but no detail, Kaz describes what happened to him and Jordie but it isn't graphic
A/n: This is the first proper fic I've ever written, Kanej my beloved
"What are you doing here?" Kaz asked, not turning his head from the wall that he was facing.
He'd known she was there, of course he had. She hadn't exactly been trying to sneak up on him, and he always knew.
Inej paused before she replied, not wanting to give herself away straight away.
"Just here to say hello,"
Now Kaz turned to face towards the window, and looked at her suspiciously
"You're never just here to say hello. What business?"
"The razor gulls are going to start using the house next door as a drop point,"
Kaz nodded slowly and smiled. "Good to know. They're idiots if they think they can use a room so close to the Slat and not be caught out by the Wraith,"
Inej smiled at the nickname, she used to hate it, but everytime Kaz said it she seemed to like it a bit more. She crossed the room and sat down on the run down sofa in the corner of the room. This conversation had seemed so easy in her head, but now she couldn't seem to find the right words. She felt the cushion sink beside her and looked up to see Kaz sat beside her, stretching his bad leg out against the floor.
She looked at him, and took a deep breath.
"You've probably guessed that I'm not just here to tell you news about the razor gulls"
Kaz smiled slightly, "I had a feeling there might be something else,"
Inej dropped her gaze, she wasn't sure if she could say what she was about to while staring into those beautiful coffee eyes.
"I wanted to say sorry,"
"I thought the Suli didn't have a word for sorry,"
"Yes, but the Kerch do." She looked up now, fixing her eyes on the shoulder seam of Kaz's waistcoat. "I'm sorry, for what I said on the boat, on the way back from Fjerda. It wasn't fair of me to turn something you can't control into a weapon against you. I don't know what I'd do if you said something like that to me about my.. About the Menagerie. The truth is I want to stay with you, armour or no armour,"
They sat in silence for a moment. Then Kaz turned to face towards her. In a quick motion- as if he didn't want to allow himself to think- he removed his gloves, set them on the arm of the sofa and clasped her hands in his.
Kaz kept his eyes trained on their hands, linked together, and he spoke.
"I was 9 when I first came to Ketterdam, Jordie was 14. Pekka Rollins scammed us and we lost all our money. We were sleeping on the streets when we caught the Queens Lady Plague, we didn't even have a bed. I don't know how but I managed to survive it,"
Inej understood the silent end to that sentence - Jordie didn't.
"When they came round to collect the bodies my pulse must have been so slow that they didn't feel it," Kaz continued. "I woke up on the Reapers barge.
"I hardly made it out alive, I was weak and I'd never been the strongest swimmer anyway. I had to use Jordie to help keep afloat."
Kaz closed his eyes for a moment, no doubt seeing the memory again, he kept speaking without opening them.
"Now, whenever I feel skin, it feels like his. Bloated, rotten, dead,"
Inej sat in silence. She wasn't sure what she had expected, but that story certainly hadn't been it. She understood now, how Kaz had wanted to destroy Rollins, how he'd had to turn into a monster to survive, even as a child.
"I'll pray for him,"
"Don't, don't bother, he's not around to hear them, is he?"
"Then I'll pray for the brother that survived, just like I always do," Kaz shifted his gaze to meet her eyes. "I'll pray that he can stay safe, that he can keep being as ridiculously strong as he always has been. I'll pray that one day he won't feel this pain anymore,"
Kaz's voice sounded choked when he spoke. "Thank you,"
Inej squeezed his hands. "Every day you continue to amaze me Brekker,"
"Rietveld,"
Inej stared at Kaz. Why was he bringing up the fake name they'd used for Jesper's father when they were scamming the merchant council? What did Johannes Rietveld have to do with anything?
"What?"
"That's my real name, Kaz Rietveld,"
-----------------------------------------------
Kaz didn't know how he'd been able to say all of that, he'd hardly let himself touch those memories, let alone tried to articulate them to someone else. He was glad he had though, he felt lighter, more comfortable somehow, like the waves had receded, even though he was still holding Inej's hands.
Her voice was quiet when she finally spoke. No, not quiet, gentle.
"Why are you telling me all of this?"
/Because I trust you, because you're the only person I've felt properly comfortable around for years, because I care about you a ridiculous and unfathomable amount/
"You won't use it against me,"
It was the closest to the truth he could manage, for now. "And if I told anyone else, you'd find out anyway,"
Inej laughed at that, and like always he seemed to forget everything but that sound.
Kaz had been joking, but he knew it was true. Jesper couldn't keep a secret to save his life, he'd proved that before they went to ice court, and the others would probably all think Inej should know (he didn't exactly think he'd been subtle with his reaction whenever she was in danger). And if anyone else somehow found out, she'd hear about it; after all, she was the Wraith.
Neither spoke for a while after that, they didn't seem to have anything else to say. Eventually, Kaz broke the silence.
"It's late, I have a job to do in the morning,"
Inej nodded, stood up and moved towards the window. He watched her until she was perched on the windowsill, he remembered that day, when she'd been feeding the crows in that exact position.
"Wait,"
He shouldn't have been letting himself be so sentimental, so vulnerable. But he felt like he'd bared his soul tonight, and he didn't think sleep would let him off without reliving those memories tonight.
"Stay?"
Inej nodded, seeming to hear everything he couldn't say. She took her usual seat opposite his desk, and started to methodically clean her knives. She stayed there while he changed out of his clothes and organised his things. Not speaking, or even looking at him. But it was enough, she was his rock; his reminder that he wasn't 9 anymore, that he was stronger than his memories.
When he laid in his bed that night, he felt more relaxed than he had ever expected to be. He rolled over so that he could see Inej when he opened his eyes.
Later that night he awoke, covered in sweat that felt an awful lot like seawater. He looked over in the gloom and saw Inej asleep, her head resting on his desk. Somehow, even asleep she looked magical. He walked across the room to sit opposite her, letting her presence calm his racing heart. He sat there for a while, but it wasn't until he rose to go back to bed that he saw his gloves clutched in Inej's hands, the fingers resting under her cheek
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gorgeousgust · 4 years ago
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Strange Birds - K.B
A/N: Hey everyone! This is my first fiction on Tumblr and I am so eager to share it with y'all. I know that I made a lot mistakes, because english is not my first language. I really adore this song "Birdy - Strange Birds" This song gives me literally chills and vibes of both Kanej and Kaz x Y/N All I hope is, you enjoy reading it. Thank you for hearing me mumbling about this! Word Count: 1K Warnings: Kinda angst with a little fluffy ending. That theme screams Kaz. And my shitty writing.
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Little ghost, you’re listening, 
Unlike most, you don’t miss a thing, 
You see the truth 
 Kaz Brekker never confirmed that he sees Y/N as more than just a crow of his but deep down he knew; he adored her. He never missed a thing about Y/N. Whenever she walked with the Dregs after a heist, her gaze met those sweets in the pastry or her curious glances at a new book in the bookstore. 
He never missed it. 
 He could sense her happiness or her grief, anger toward his enemies… When she is around, a surge of joy comes with her. 
I walk the halls invisibly, 
I climb the walls, no one sees me, 
No one but you. 
 Yes, everyone in the Dregs, even Matthias could feel when she is sad. However, not like Kaz did. The way her lips fell or in her eyes, he could see all of it. All of the reasons why she is sad, he could see right through her soul. 
 Y/N hated it. She hated when Kaz sees her vulnerable. All she wanted was to prove herself to him that she is not a failure. Before Kaz, she was a mess. She lost her family. She lost her friends. She lost everything she had and then she met him. Her guardian angel… Despite he is dirtyhands or demjin by the drüskelle. She saw him as her guardian angel. She adored him; even she loved him. 
You’ve always loved the strange birds, 
Now I want to fly into your world 
I want to be hold 
“Crows just don’t remember the faces of people who wronged them. They also remember those were kind. They tell each other who to look after and who to watch out for.” She heard him once. When he talked with Inej, she heard their conversations. She always thought about Kaz’s interest in strange birds. 
and she wanted to be his, his strange bird. 
My wounded wings, still beating 
You’ve always loved the stranger inside 
Me, ugly pretty 
 Y/N walked to his office. She knocked on the door to come in. When she walked to his office, she could see his tired gaze. “Are you okay?” She said to him. He didn’t respond at first, he was concentrating on the job he had. She leaned closer, and that’s when he looked up and see her worried eyes. “I’m fine.” He spoke. She knew it was a lie, all she wanted was to keep him close to herself and she wanted to tell him that he needed to rest. Instead, she just only nodded. She went to her place to sit; she was watching the raindrops fall on Ketterdam’s cold streets. 
 Y/N and Kaz’s relationship was complicated. They were not beloved but they loved each other. Not just like friends did. Like lovers did. However, their traumas were a barrier to them. Nevertheless, that was only Kaz’s thoughts. She did not think like that. She thought his trauma or hers was not a block. They could be in love without touching. She always respected him and his boundaries. She wanted him to accept that but she did not want to push it. Therefore, she remained silent. 
 She didn’t know that Kaz was staring at her, he observed her. The way her eyebrows scowl, he could tell she was having one of her arguments with herself. He wanted to comfort her about it. “What’s in the head of yours?” He said while he turned to his papers. She looked at him with such surprise. It always happened between them. 
This time, she did not want to show her vulnerable times to Kaz, because she was scared. Y/N is scared that she will get the rejection from him. “Nothing.” She said. That made him to look at her. Their eyes met; her cheeks turned a bright flash of red. Kaz was not stupid; he understood Y/N’s feelings toward him. However, he could do nothing about it. 
He hated himself for that. 
Oh little ghost, you see the pain 
But together we can make something beautiful 
So take my hand and perfectly, 
“Y/N, I can’t give you.” She turned herself to him. “What?” She said. It was low and husky. “I- I can’t give you what you want from me.” She looked at him; he saw her hurting glances towards him. She did not even attempt to hide her hurt feelings. “And what exactly do you think I want?” That made him silent. He thought for a second. 
 She never attempts to touch him or she never crossed his boundaries. She always had respect for him. He turned his gaze down. She sat up and came close to his side. At the moment, she was close to him yet she distanced herself from touching him. “You think that I want to snog you? On the other hand, do you think I want to touch you? To feel you?” Her voice became loud. “Yes, hell I do. But I respect you. Moreover, I don’t care about physical touch. I care about you Kaz Rietveld.” 
We fill the gaps, you and me make three, 
I was meant for you, and you for me 
 For the first time in Y/N’s life, she felt fearless. Fearless about what she thought. He was in shock and she saw it. He understood that she meant for him the world. “You are the brightness in my life. But this is wrong, Y/N.” He wanted to touch her, he wanted to hold her close but how? He asked that question himself for the past months… He was a mess. 
“Don’t.” She closed her eyes. She didn’t want to think like that. “When are you going to understand that I am crazy for you and I know this is not wrong.” She looked at him. She was waiting for him to say something back, even argue but he said nothing. He remained silent. 
She sighed. “Understood the message.” She barely said, it came as a whisper. However, the room was tense and silent so Kaz catches the sentence. She turned back to leave him alone but she heard him. “I don’t want you to go, Y/N. I want you to stay.” 
You’ve always loved the strange birds, 
Now I want to fly into your world 
I want to be hold 
My wounded wings, still beating 
You’ve always loved the stranger inside 
Me, ugly pretty… 
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manikas-whims · 4 years ago
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Shadow & Bone, The Crows & everyone's complaints
So now that I'm on my 2nd watch of the show, I wanna speak on certain things about the Crows in the show, which have made many people mad and some of which I didn't like either..but which I can still see as tying up with the canon.
⚠ Spoilers for both the Books & Show ⚠
Here we go:
• Kaz accepting the 1M Kruge job
Now ofc we all remember the book Kaz who bargained with a Mercher and raised his prize to 30M. But Leigh, Eric & the Crows Cast has been pointing out since day one that these aren't the same people we know from what we've read. This is a sort of prequel to those characters and just them figuring out their dynamic with each other.
Remember, the book opens with Inej saying Kaz is a feared man in the Barrel without hesitation, she introduces herself as the Wraith who can't be stopped even by gravity on certain days and Jesper as the amazing sharpshooter and charmer.
Now as a new reader, I found that chapter sort of funny because how are you claiming all this without showing me their process of becoming these formidable people? But as I read through, the thought that inded these are 6 dangerous outcasts, settled in my mind.
But before that 30M job, they must've had many smaller conquests too right? Ones which slowly built-up their experience, confidence and relationships.
Since this is a prequel, consider this as another day in their Barrel life, as them going on another of their regular jobs. And just think of this as a learning experience for Kaz. That its the dangers that they got into travelling to a different country that made Kaz learn his and his crew's worth. And prepared him for the negotiations he did with Jan Van Eck in SoC.
• Kaz brought to his knees by Pekka
While Kaz being bested by two mere lackies of Pekka was kinda annoying to me as well, why do we believe that Pekka can't harm him or the others? PEKKA ROLLINS WAS THE BARREL KING BEFORE KAZ.
Remember on the Ferolind when Oomen tells them he was ordered by Pekka Rollins to take down the Dregs? They all were shocked and somewhat worried. And it was brought up later on when Jesper said they were going against Pekka Rollins and Wylan explains for Matthias sake how Pekka is not to be messed with.
It was only Kaz who wasn't concerned at all, who consoles Jesper by saying Pekka is just another Barrel Boss.
And what were we even expecting Kaz to do when Pekka brought him to his knees? Didn't Kaz express in the books enough how a simple beating won't make it up. He promised to take his revenge in small steps— building up his gang, stealing customers from Pekka's clubs, etc. BRICK BY BRICK.
So Kaz can be brought down to his knees too. And Pekka can easily do it if he wishes so. But no one wants outright Gang Wars; Pekka because he is far more experienced and knows when and where to put pressure or when to let go of a job. He even advices Kaz to forget Inej and drop the idea of going against a Mercher in SoC last chapter, because it is a foolish thing to do.
And Kaz wouldn't want gang wars because he knows the Dregs aren't big enough to face the whole of Dime Lions. Besides he already plans to bring down Pekka brick by brick.
But no one threatens Kaz Brekker, so consider this "on his knees" scene as a set up and another reason for Kaz to strike back and pay back tenfold.
It will also serve as an amazing parallel if we get to see him make Pekka beg on his knees.
• Kaz and Inej are too obvious
Are they? Haven't they always been like that when in each other's company or when around the other Crows? So of course they're expressing alot in front of Jesper.
But note that there are was no incident in the show where Kaz expressed his slowly developing feelings in front of his enemies, namely Pekka. In fact all Kanej moments happen only between them or in Jesper's presence. So there's nothing wrong with that.
Are they too obvious? No. As I said before and as we all know Kaz and Inej ALWAYS share deep conversations whenever together even in books— "i will have you without armor", "i would come for you", etc.
So show Kaz telling Inej "no saints have watched over me like you.." was not much different from their canon alone conversations.
Have they shown too much already? NOT AT ALL.
We only saw Kaz putting the Crow Club on collateral but his reason behind it wasn't shown at all.
We only saw Inej kill a man to protect Kaz. We don't know why she chose to kill for him. You can't immediately translate that to love. It can very well be considered her trying to pay back because he saved her from the Menagerie.
Remember in Crooked Kingdom Chapter 4, Inej says: "their lives had been a series of rescues ever since, a string of debts that they never tallied as they saved each other again and again."
So consider these moments as their endless back and forth of saving each other.
*Another thing to note in the show is when Inej gave her knives to Kaz. She says: "as a friend once said".
She has started considering Kaz a "friend" and she knows he feels the same way even though he won't say it. They're only starting to open up and give way to friendship. And not just Kanej, Jesper too.
People can care for and have each other's backs without it having a romantic aspect. The show gave the viewers a peek at what Kanej are willing to do for each other and showed that there's obviously sparks flying but no clear motto. We still didn't see Kanej's first encounter at the Menagerie or Kaz staring at Inej sitting on his window. These are just small moments to set up the ship.
• The Crows only there for comic relief
NO. I don't agree to this at all.
I'm gonna go back to SoC Duology. Now we know both the books have a sort of a dark setting. But both of these books also had hilarious moments.
Right in Chapter 2 of SoC, Jesper joking about spelling with his bullets and Kaz joining in on the joke. There's also the "this whole shoot me thing is starting to worry me". Inej & Kaz's banter about "greed is your god".
Almost every chapter had atleast one moment that was either comical or to lighten the mood or just straight up banter between the Crows. And all those moments were all always entagled with serious ones.
The show did exactly the same. We were given their crime life because they were after all, on a job to capture and sell off a person. But the show lightened it by adding the Crows banter and certain comical moments. And for the finishing touches, they sprinkled in some vulnerability.
• Kaz not being ruthless enough
I AGREE. I DO.
What the fuck is wrong with us all wanting a sinister man being ruthless? 😂
There's not much I can say about this but that even in books, Kaz isn't always ruthless.
He is mostly giving out orders and scheming schemes. But in those rare moments in the book when we get to see Dirtyhands, we are given a view into some really intense moments.
When Kaz dislocates a man's arm in the Ice Court Prison, he himself admits it that he didn't do it as much to make himself look intimidating to the other criminals but more to remind himself that he can do it, that he isn't some helpless man.
The only such thing we got in the show was the brief scene between Kaz and that Inferni where he had that scary look on his face as he crushed that inferni's arm and slammed his face.
WE DID DESERVE MORE OF THAT.
But maybe it was a good moment to set him up for more violence in the coming seasons. *crosses fingers*
• The Crows not stealing from Alina
Okay whilst Inej wouldn't do it, Jesper may only consider, Kaz would definitely do it!
Remember Kaz kazually conversing with Van Eck and Pekka but also stealing their stuff in those moments with his slight of hands?
Yeah, the showrunners had a perfect chance at the end to do it but they missed it 😐
This is probably the one thing that I'm unable to settle with 🤧
So..that's it!
I don't want everyone to agree with me but I hope everyone can be a little less aggressive and more kind to the show. It was still amazing, if not a proper adaptation then at least good as a standalone show. And the showrunners already did say "high budget fanfiction"
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vanilla-vivillon · 4 years ago
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Part two of Zoyalai kid as promised
Here’s part one- https://dablackdahlia.tumblr.com/post/650586205772201984/the-black-dahlia
Massive row spoilers
Prince Mycanae Juris Nazyalensky( My Kuh Nay Uh) was turning one years old
It was suprising how quickly he grew up
To Nikolai at least
For Zoya, who adored her son couldn’t wait for him to get older
For one thing while the baby didn’t cry to much at night (whitch was a blessing from the saints)
He couldn’t be Grisha tested
Most ravkans were tested around the age of seven though it varies
Myca was far to young
It was decided when he turned four he would be tested
And so the country was forced to wait four long years
Three more years to go Zoya thought to herself
Myca was an easy baby
That was what his doctors said
He barely if ever cried in the night and was sociable enough
Unlike Genya and David’s son Forrest Kostyk who from all of Zoyas interactions and everything Genya and David mentioned he was a nightmare
Constantly screaming
Hates to eat everything
And now that His teeth were a big enough size he started biting
She had gotten lucky
But Nikolai and her started talking about having more kids
And Zoya found she wanted more aswell
Nikolais pitch however would be far to amusing for her to not listen to
“Come on Zoya only children are the freaks in the playground!” Nikolai said gesturing incredulously
They just gotten Myca put to bed and were having much needed glasses of wine
He needed his rest for his birthday tomorrow
Even though they could’ve had many nannies take care of him that night, neither of them wanted that
Nikolai grew up like that and he wasn’t as close to his mother because of it.
Not to mention the old king was scarce most of his early upbringing
Zoya didn’t want that for Myca either
Of course with all of there duties they had to get some help but they always, always, made sure they put him to bed in the room across from there’s
“Nikolai I’m an only child” zoya retorted
“Touché, but what if something were to happen that Myca couldn’t become king? We would need another option!” Nikolai threw back
Nikolai having another realization
“Plus, it would’ve really helped me growing up to have a good sibling”
This was something Zoya thought about aswell
As a girl she wished for a baby sister
And so did her mother
Sabina had four miscarriages
The last one was the worst
She was safely in the third trimester when it happened
Sabina was distraught for weeks
And when she finally came to, she was different
Harder
Sadder
Meaner
And a couple years later marching Zoya down an aisle
“You know I’m already convinced Nikolai right?” Zoya laughed tired of this charade
Before Myca was born Zoya thought she’d have one
One child
One heir
But she had changed her mind and wanted more
Nikolai showed her a dazzling smile “perfect” he said with a kiss
Zoyas second pregnancy was different
Her morning sickness wasn’t as bad as her first
But a new thing has arrived
cravings
She was consuming unhealthy amounts of Ravkan chocolates
But nonetheless the baby’s due date was July eighth
The date came and passed
But it was nothing to be worried about
There was a lot of moments where they were like “this Is it, the babies coming” then nope
Zoya was 43 weeks pregnant
The baby would be post term
Nikolai would say this is a sign that this child was going to Be late for everything
A difference when Myca was born on the exact due date
But in the middle of the night July twenty second Zoya went into Labor
There second child was Prince Nazariy (Nah-Zuh-ree) Dominik Nazyalensky
He had Brown skin almost darker then Zoya’s and black hair
But it was his eyes that captivated people
He had sectoral heterochromia
His Blue eyes like his Mothers had parts of brown (example below)
Tumblr media
They decided on his middle name after Nikolais friend Dominick after some rigorous debate
Zoya wanted to continue with Saint middle names
Nikolai argued Juris was a personal friend
In the end with Nikolais charisma he won
His name Nazariy was actually found in a simple baby book
While Mycanae was in old ravkan and they liked the nickname Myca
They were much more lax with there second son
They eventually decided to have four kids but wanted to wait until Myca would get tested before having there next two children
Time skip three years because your girl can’t detail everything
Myca was four years old and today was the day
He was dressed in his best clothes
What would happen is he would go up in front of the entirety of the Ravkan nobility and other ambassadors and such and would get tested
Zoyas power still couldn’t sense anything in him or Nazariy, but a couple months prior Forrest Kostyk was revealed to be an Alkemi
It seemed that when the grisha first used there ability it activates something and typically Zoya could sense it
Because now Zoya could see Forrest as an Alkemi easily
So while she couldn’t sense anything in her sons that didn’t mean there was nothing there
Zoya and Nikolai had finally gotten most of the details finished and it was them, Nazariy and Myca, and the triumvirate working out some details in the meeting room
Well, Nazariy was pretending he was a squaller by blowing on some paper
And Myca was clearly trying to convince him that wasn’t how it worked
It seemed Myca hadn’t quite grasped his two year old little brother couldn’t care less about what he thought
A fact that would never change over the years
“I don’t understand why we don’t just test him right here right now?” Adrik insisted for the ninth time “less risk”
“And then what if he turns out to be Grisha but presented before the nobility nothing happens? The grisha test only works when they just start out” Tamar responded
“It could still work in front of the nobility” Adrik insisted
“And if all else fails we can just tell him to summon a gust” Tolya added
Tolya was fiercely protective of the boys
It probably started when a couple months ago Myca showed a vague interest in his favorite Poet and the friendship bloomed
“Tolya most summoners can’t summon until days of practice” Leoni interjected “Plus, we’ve made plans on all outcomes and it’s to late to change them now, look on the bright si-”
“Nazariy spit that out!” Zoya interupted
Apparently the little hellhound put one of David’s nails in his mouth
Nazariy, learning his mother wasn’t to be trifled with quickly on, spit it out
Back to the conversation they started on a topic healthy debated
“There’s no way the kid is Grisha!” Adrik started on
“But Adrik he hasn’t gotten sick. And Grisha dont get sick to!” Leoni countered
This back and forth started since Zoya announced her pregnancy
It was a headache really
But when she turned towards the three boys who had come to mean the world to her it was all worth it
Nikolai was with the boys and was apparently taking on Nazariy’s side claiming him blowing on the paper was just as credible as Mommy’s lightning
Myca fought back and claimed any otkaxatsya could do that
It was something happening more often
Myca makes an offhand statement and Nikolai fighting the other side
It was adorable really how Mycas eyes would light up and debate with his father
Plus it would make him think more critically and would make a good king out of him
Not to mention how it really helped Nikolai and him bond
Nikolai and him had some trouble sometimes
Myca doesn’t usually respond to jokes
It seemed after his silly and rambunctious troublemaker of a brother was born he decided he would have to be serious enough for the both of them
Or at least as serious as a four year old could be
But rigourous debate on whether or not green looked good on Nazariy was something they both seemed to enjoy
And as much as Zoya wished she could watch forever it was time
Time to see if her baby boy had certain talents
Myca was scared
He was behind the door waiting to be presented before his mother, father, brother, who would all be seated on the thrones, and of course the rest of the nobility
‘People like you Myca!’ Nikolai would insist ‘there’s nothing to worry about no matter what happens!’
Myca thought he was trying to alleviate the pressure but it wasn’t working
Suddenly his que to come In was called and he walked in
Head held high and posture immaculate he waltzed through the door
The person who was testing him was the Baron of Banewood
An old man who hated nonsense, children, and Prince Nazariy since he was both of those things
He came forward and after some very boring speeches that Myca couldn’t bring himself to listen to until the Baron told him to stick out his hand
Myca complied and the baron produced a very big pin
Guess everyone wanted to be really sure he was Grisha or not
His eyes wandered to his family
Theyre faces looked calculatingly impassive
He knew it was a front
They needed to seem stable for the people
Nazariy who was standing next to the throne was having difficulties standing still
Myca felt bad for him
Half of being royalty is sitting still looking pretty
He trained his eyes back on his parents and saw his father give him a small wink
I got this, I’m prepared for the result, I can do this
As the pin was stabbed into his skin Myca felt it
That calling
That thing begging to come out whenever he saw his Mother doing something grand
Or when he really wanted his brother to leave him alone
And Myca let it overcome him
When he opened his eyes he could see the Baron knocked over and a small breeze
A firm hand clamped his shoulder
“Congratulations Mycanae” Tolya started dragging him away from the scene where the nobility were discussing the scene “Your a Squaller”
Hey so part two of the Zoyalai kid as promised. This was originally gonna be longer but then It became a 230 word monster and i cut it down and will save the rest for part three
35 likes and I’ll make part three
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