#<- joke. obviously.

[labyrinthofcrystals]

how come there's always that one little shit on roblox tycoons that make it their life mission to kill you as many times as possible

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[lunehowls]

smoking with my ex's cat because he's chill like that

[v0idwraith]

quite frankly idgaf what Luigi Mangione’s politics are, he actually did something to make a change and that’s more than most people can say

[acanoeandlifejackets]

Colin: Don’t mention reading or books, men don’t like that.

*sees her and Lord Debling reading a book together*

Colin: fuck I gotta learn how to read.

[jubshead]

So we’re in agreement that this is canon… right?

[e-vay]

[chloesimaginationthings]

Abby went into the pit and made a FNAF friend..

[lunarrosette]

I understand bill cipher bc if I fumbled Stanford pines I’d also start the apocalypse

[prettysweetprettysweet]

eric bogosian seems like the kind of guy that experimented with gay sex back in the day and regrettably unfortunately found himself to be heterosexual and it was one of the biggest disappointments of his life but now he's been given the opportunity to live out his gay dream in a way and he is clearly so stoked to be playing a homo character on the gay vampire show and whenever he does a press junket with jacob assad and sam he's giving vibes of proud pflag dad with his three rainbow kids..actually maybe not kids because one of them is desperate to lick the back of his throat, and with the other two he is clearly convinced they are in love with each other, something which he has tried to allude to in, and this is not a joke or exaggeration, the majority of the group interviews he has participated in

[st-hedge]

I hand in my cv to paint the backgrounds for the 2d Zelda movie

[corgiteatime]

I love seeing people call whatever is going on between Astarion and Gale as "toxic old man yaoi."

Because if you told them about it, Gale would look sad and say, "Toxic is a bit of a strong word. Everyone in this group has their own issues and-"

Meanwhile, the 200+ year old vampire shaking with rage behind him would shriek, "OLD?!?!?!"

[bet-on-me-13]

Runaway Rogue

So! A couple of years ago, Danny lost one of his Rogues.

It's not that they got Ended or anything, he literally lost them and couldn't find them. One day they ran off after being defeated and never showed up again. They were one of his Joke Villains, not posing a real threat but still extremely annoying when they wanted to be.

He hadn't seen them in Years now, and with the situation in Amity quelled and more free time on his hands than he had gotten in Years, he decided to finally track the Ghost down and see what he had been up to.

His search led him to Gotham, where he finally found the one Rogue that he had lost all those years ago.

Condiment King.

[badolmen]

They don’t even attempt to assassinate US politicians anymore. You notice that? Not since the anthrax scare back for… who was it, Barack? And even that… pathetic. This new generation has no respect for an honest hitman. I’m not sure this new generation has any honest hitman - you see that shit with Boeing? Sloppy, fucking disgraceful - you kill the whistleblowers before they get halfway to a lawsuit. What kind of fucking amateur is doing faked suicides the night before testimony? Goddamn greenhorns. Back in my day someone tried to shoot Ronald Reagan in broad daylight. There used to be bomb threats to Congress. I took out a few union leaders in the utilities sector myself. Today’s generation? Won’t even threaten to throw a punch - not even over on that - what’s it now, ‘X’? They got no guts. None! And they don’t even have poor impulse control to boot! Too much of that - that panopticon anxiety bullshit. “Oh what if I get a called out post???” People used to send the president letters full of bioweapons. In the mail! Today’s generation? Not a chance. All because of woke.

[idolomantises]

If Monsters and Girls ever gets a tv show my only request is that it doesn’t become that kind of show where a male character with a small role somehow overshadows the female cast.

And you WILL draw Yuri

[jay-wasstuff]

LA's environmentalist lawyers pulling up to Universal:

Update:

Well then, I guess: