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labyrinthofcrystals · 8 months

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how come there's always that one little shit on roblox tycoons that make it their life mission to kill you as many times as possible

#roblox #roblox tycoon #* mine / txt #PLEASE tell me this is a universal experience and im not just being cyberbullied by kids 😭#(i assume they're children bc. its so imature?? and does nothing???)#is it just the ones i play? bc theyre usually fandom ones . does that have anything to do with it.#i report them every time idc if they wanna ignore my pleas in the chat then they can get their ass reported #WAIT THEYRE KIDS MAYBE THEY CANT READ SLDKJF #<- joke. obviously.#but fr im so done w it like i just wanna build a pizzeria or whatever LEAVE ME ALONE OMG #tycoons + obbies are my favorite things to play on roblox....help me......#''why are you playing roblox its for kids'' i played it in the 2010s fuck off #this is why i hate mmorpgs or whatever theyre called #always 1 fuck who ruins it by being an entitled brat

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some-pers0n · 9 months

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I hate how people will look at popular indie artists who had one or two songs go viral on TikTok and start making fun of anybody who listens to them. "Oh you listen to Lemon Demon, Will Wood, Jack Stauber, Glass Animals, and Mother Mother? Tsk, don't you know that is stupid TikTok neurodivergent white transmasc preteen music? It's so mid and bad you should listen to real music–" you are a pit of misery

#will wood #sp-rambles #For people wondering this is entirely about people being mean to the only music artist ever (Will Wood) on Twitter #Like obviously of course it's also about how people will degrade and twist jokes into being homophobic and ableist #by generalizing and making it out like people who listen to stuff they don't like are autistic and gay and whatever other slur applicable #Twitter is a cesspool though idk what's any different #Anywho still listen to Will Wood my beloved please please pleaseeee

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phantomsiita · 3 months

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how fucking weird is it that my brothers been dead 10 months. like??

#it feels so recent but also like an eternity ago.#i feel honestly a little guilty moving on with my life so quickly but i also understand that if i dont #i will get stuck like i did after my dad died. also im totally running from my feelings anyways #trying so hard to be kind to myself. i am doing my best to live my life and for now thats okay.#really. its his fault for dying a month before i start college #<- joke. obviously.#sorry chat i just get weird when i think too hard about what im doing next. im actually having to think about what i'll do after i finish #community college. ew.#do i go for my 4 year immidietely or work for a while first....#where would i even go... seattle was always my first choice but the chronic pain does not make me wanna walk that fuckin campus

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acanoeandlifejackets · 4 months

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Colin: Don’t mention reading or books, men don’t like that.

*sees her and Lord Debling reading a book together*

Colin: fuck I gotta learn how to read.

#this is a joke #obviously Colin can read #bridgerton #polin #colin bridgerton #Penelope Featherington

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inkskinned · 2 years

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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

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e-vay · 26 days

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#obviously i know what happens to shadow. this is just a joke #but seriously i love him with my whole heart #Sonic movie 3 #shadow the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #keanu reeves #Keanu!shadow #sonic trash

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chloesimaginationthings · 4 months

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Abby went into the pit and made a FNAF friend..

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lunarrosette · 1 month

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I understand bill cipher bc if I fumbled Stanford pines I’d also start the apocalypse

#gravity falls #stanford pines #the book of bill #bill cipher #billford #shit post #obviously a joke #bc Ik he didn’t start the apocalypse bc he fumbled ford #he fumbled fire bc he wanted to start the apocalypse #all I’m saying is #as an ace lesbian Stanford pines could still get it #he’s on my list of 3 men who could get it #lunarrosette’s shit

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prettysweetprettysweet · 1 month

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eric bogosian seems like the kind of guy that experimented with gay sex back in the day and regrettably unfortunately found himself to be heterosexual and it was one of the biggest disappointments of his life but now he's been given the opportunity to live out his gay dream in a way and he is clearly so stoked to be playing a homo character on the gay vampire show and whenever he does a press junket with jacob assad and sam he's giving vibes of proud pflag dad with his three rainbow kids..actually maybe not kids because one of them is desperate to lick the back of his throat, and with the other two he is clearly convinced they are in love with each other, something which he has tried to allude to in, and this is not a joke or exaggeration, the majority of the group interviews he has participated in

#honestly im really happy for him bc he seems to be surrounded by homosexuality in his work environment and obviously that's the dream #eric bogosian #iwtv #jam reiderson #THIS POST IS A JOKE BTW

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bewarethecircles · 1 year

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Neil Gaiman: "in season 2 the fan-favorite angel/demon couple will fall in love, overcome great adversity, and eventually defy heaven and hell to run off together to the stars :)"

Fans: "cool! I can't wait, does Aziraphale confess first or does Crowley?'

Neil, holding Gabriel and Beelzebub figures and making them kiss: "Does who do what now?"

#obviously this is a joke/simplification because neil cares very much about aziraphale and crowley but the mental image was too fun to resist #mr gaiman if you see this i love you thank you for making the show #good omens #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #ineffable bureaucracy #good omens spoilers

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st-hedge · 10 months

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I hand in my cv to paint the backgrounds for the 2d Zelda movie

#loz #legend of zelda #loz totk #tears of the kingdom #link #this is obviously a joke #I’ve come down with a shitty cold over night and I drew this in one sitting #so if this is all crooked and ugly when I’m no longer delirious #my apologies

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corgiteatime · 1 year

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I love seeing people call whatever is going on between Astarion and Gale as "toxic old man yaoi."

Because if you told them about it, Gale would look sad and say, "Toxic is a bit of a strong word. Everyone in this group has their own issues and-"

Meanwhile, the 200+ year old vampire shaking with rage behind him would shriek, "OLD?!?!?!"

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #bloodweave #fyi they are not actually old; yes that is part of the joke #if you reblog or tag this seriously retorting that they aren't old i will block you #i block anyone who doesn't think i'm hilarious because they are obviously wrong

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badolmen · 3 months

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They don’t even attempt to assassinate US politicians anymore. You notice that? Not since the anthrax scare back for… who was it, Barack? And even that… pathetic. This new generation has no respect for an honest hitman. I’m not sure this new generation has any honest hitman - you see that shit with Boeing? Sloppy, fucking disgraceful - you kill the whistleblowers before they get halfway to a lawsuit. What kind of fucking amateur is doing faked suicides the night before testimony? Goddamn greenhorns. Back in my day someone tried to shoot Ronald Reagan in broad daylight. There used to be bomb threats to Congress. I took out a few union leaders in the utilities sector myself. Today’s generation? Won’t even threaten to throw a punch - not even over on that - what’s it now, ‘X’? They got no guts. None! And they don’t even have poor impulse control to boot! Too much of that - that panopticon anxiety bullshit. “Oh what if I get a called out post???” People used to send the president letters full of bioweapons. In the mail! Today’s generation? Not a chance. All because of woke.

#ra speaks #personal #JOKING.#this is a joke this is a parody of right wing rants regarding social phenomenon they believe to be oppressed by left leaning politics.#but within the perspective of an old fictional hitman.#this is a joke tangentially referencing my fictional hitmen from a fictional story in which no harm comes to career politicians #obviously but also if this gets me on a list o7 #fbi agent in my phone I’m a disabled autistic dyke with zero engineering or chemistry background #my skills are best applied to…idk sabatoging national forest harvest regimes? but I’m not doing that they’re neglected enough as is.#edit: oops this is getting notes o/ hiiiii cia agent reading this post <3 a union leader my dad worked w got fucking assassinated #by Pinkertons and y’all didn’t do shit. I hope you have visions of hell and become a nomadic hermit self flagellating in the woods #edit 2: ooooooh there was a pres debate last night. that’s why people care about my two week old joke hitman post. was wondering why.

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jay-wasstuff · 1 year

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LA's environmentalist lawyers pulling up to Universal: