#<- im only putting this on my blog so i can have it in that tag

[darlingdaisyfarm]

hey! im sorry to make another post like this, but i feel like i need to say some things. because honestly, if i don’t, i won’t be able to move on from it.

further text under the cut because i don’t want to flood your feed with this

when i posted that anon message, i wasn’t expecting.. well, anything, really. i just felt very awful, i dumped my feelings out because i got emotional and i was ready to just delete this app and not come back. i thought, okay, that’s it, i embarrassed myself for the last time, im done. but when i came back, suddenly there were all these kind messages from people telling me they care, and i think it’s only because of you all that i’m still here. you all mean so much to me, i don’t think i’ve ever felt this supported in my entire life. i don’t know what i did to deserve this kind of kindness, but it means everything to me. so thank you, thank you so much to everyone who didn’t just walk past me when i needed it the most, i really needed to hear that. i cant help but smile when reading your words. i appreciate each of you.

the truth is, that anon text hit me like a knife to the chest. and i hate that it did. i hate that i let a random person make me feel sick about my own hobby, my own blog and everything i’ve ever shared here. but the thing is i’ve always felt this way. hesitant, always unsure if i even have the right to take up space here, i guess a lot of that comes from the friendships i used to have.

because ive always been that friend. the one who listens, who gives. who’s always there when someone needs to vent, to cry, to talk about their passions, struggles or random thoughts. and i never minded, i loved being there for people. but when i tried to share smth about me, it was always met with indifference. like what i had to say wasn’t worth anything. and after years of that, i started believing it myself. even now, posting this, i still feel awkward. like, it’s hard for me to even write this without thinking, should i delete this before anyone sees it? that’s where the anxiety comes from and it’s smth im still working through

so when that anon said what they did, it was like hearing all of my worst thoughts spoken out loud. as if they reached inside my brain, pulled out every insecurity i’ve ever had, and threw it right in my face. ive always felt like im being too annoying. i know i post a lot, but every time i cant help but feel so cringe about it. and i fight it because i dont like being constantly embarrassed for just being myself, but it’s exhausting.

so yeah, when i saw that message, i just felt so damn embarrassed about everything, like i was making a fool of myself this entire time and just didn’t realize it and i hate feeling that way.

and the part that really got to me was the comparison. it hurt more than anything, it made me feel like no matter how hard i try, ill never be enough, that all the effort, all the time, all the small moments of pride i let myself have were just misplaced. i know I’m not perfect, i know there are better writers, faster writers or just people who seem to create more interesting ideas or plots or describe characters way better, but i didnt mind? i mean i was just trying to find space where i can express myself without fear, but then that comparison just made me feel so sick of myself. like “oh look, they’re better, so mb you should just give up.” it made me feel like i don’t have the right to take up space here at all

its hard to explain, but that comparison just made me feel like i was less than

i wouldn’t say i’m a perfectionist, but i am very critical of my writing. i put a lot of effort into my stuff, especially since english isn’t my first language. it’s twice as hard to make sure my sentences are right, that i didn’t mess up the grammar, that i used the right words. and when you pour so much effort into smth and then someone just comes and shits all over it, it kills any desire to create or continue smth. makes you feel like maybe you shouldn’t create anything else. hell, i know that sounds dramatic, but that’s how it feels. and i hate that i’m letting this ruin smth i loved

and the part about taking too long to update... i don’t know what to say to that, i’m not a machine, i write when my brain lets me. when i have an idea, an image in my head, when i feel inspired. and i did have inspiration. i spent a whole week writing that last fic, actually enjoying the process, i felt proud of it, which is rare for me. excited to share it with people. and for what?

and the worst part is, i was planning to start posting my art too. i wanted to finally get out of my comfort zone, to share smth i’ve been afraid to share for so long. but if this is the kind of reaction i get for just writing, then what the hell is gonna happen when i post art? i blocked the last anon who sent me hate, so this is someone new then? meaning there’s two people now who actively dislike me enough to go out of their way to make sure i know. and i know, i know, i shouldn’t care about whether people like me or not. but fuck, it’s hard, i’m a professional overthinker, and unfortunately, i don’t think i’ll be quitting that job anytime soon.

i already had so much going on in my personal life. so much i was trying to get off my mind by being here, writing, sharing things that make me happy, talking with people. and then i open this app and see that, and suddenly it’s like, what’s even the point?

i know i’m being a sensitive crybaby. i hate to be this way. and i get that it’s the internet, and people can be jerks and assholes. but i REALLY don’t understand how much poison you have to have in yourself to send this hateful shit to a complete stranger. i just don’t get it. i’ve never left hate on anything, not even on stuff that isn’t for me. it just feels so pointless?

and as for the thing about Stan’s speech in my fics - im not american. english isn’t even my first language. and you have no idea how much effort it takes to get his voice even close to what it should be, he is one of the hardest characters for me to write. so fuck you, anon, you suck. genuinely

but... as much as that anon’s words gutted me, the kindness i received in response meant even more, it reminded me of why im here in the first place. to share things i love, to create, to talk with people who actually care. what im trying to say is thank you for making me feel less alone. i’m honestly just.. overwhelmed, in the best way. i was drowning in self-doubt, and your kindness and support pulled me out. i don’t take it for granted. i love all of you ♡♡ ive read all your messages, and ive never felt SO damn appreciated

[orphiclovers]

It's sort of implied Yoo Joonghyuk starts off every regression in his signature outfit already and I have. Headcanons on how that is possible.

It's explicitly stated in canon that his coat does not travel back to him when he regresses (kdj says so to sp), so the two possibilities are either he buys it as soon as possible and just does the first couple scenarios in a normal outfit (boring, unsupported by canon) or... he was already wearing the coat on the day the scenarios started. Which is what I think, and is more interesting. Since those coats already have so much narrative weight in yjh's story let me add a little more.

I think when Yoo Joonghyuk spawned into existence on the side of the road one day, he was wearing the full WoS outfit, coat included. Because, what else would the protagonist wear? This was the only outfit he was written in.

Eventually, he of course did buy normal clothes (in yoo mia side story, which happens a few years later, he wears 'an old jacket') but that coat he started off with with would have been one of the very few pieces of evidence of his supposed 'past' that he wanted to discover so badly. So even if he stopped wear it day-to-day, I think he wouldn't have gotten rid of it.

For years, A Black Infinite Dimention Space Coat hangs in his closet, totally anachronistic in a pre-scenarios world. Like Yoo Joonghyuk himself.

It's important to note that on the day the scenarios started, Yoo Joonghyuk was taking the train to meet his parents for the first time. Perhaps he felt the need to dress up, and what better way than the unusual clothing he wore on the first day he remembers? He would have finally gotten the answers he had been looking for - perhaps even to the comparatively insignificant question of why he was wearing this coat when he forgot his past.

Well, his parents house was empty, but he still gets the answer to his questions eventually, when at 7 p.m on the ride back, the scenarios start.

In a bitter irony, that outfit he chose to wear on that day would be what he wore for the next thousand regressions. But of course, it never could have happened any other way.

[kaiserouo]

sometimes its weird to think of ordis as ordan karris

[bucephaly]

People love finding random natives online and dumping their family story on them expecting a reassuring 'of course you're native!!' Lol

Sorry, if you don't wanna reconnect why would you even mention your supposed apache or whatever ancestry. If you aren't connecting to the tribe what does it even matter. 'I find it interesting' so you're using supposed native ancestry as a fun fact to make you look more interesting? How is that different than any other 'great grandma cherokee princess' person. Especially since you apparently have time to research the history of all your ancestral cultures but you don't have time to do genealogy

And of course when I tell them 'assume the stories are fake until you've got actual proof' they block me.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

this cliff took more lives than i could on my own im losing it

[tagidearte]

There's something special about Moon being the only side of the DCA who has canonically (gameverse) voiced his counterpart's name ("No more Sun", which yes it's not him directly saying Sun's name since it's a figure of speech, but still) whereas Sun - the chatterbox - only refers to Moon via "he" or "other me". Moon, the quiet one who mostly laughs vs Sun who mostly uses words. Sun, who is scared of Moon, never utters his name whereas Moon clearly has no problem with it. Both of them using "we☀️/us🌙" prior to Eclipse. Moon, whose only opinion of Sun we can infer is "the other me trapped me in light so now I trap him in shadow", vs Sun's whole thing which is profoundly more fleshed out.

I don't know man, the "no more Sun" line always did things to me. I remember playing Ruin for the first time and getting this... jarring emotion when I heard Moon saying that. It's such a small line but good god did I latch onto it.

[butch-bakugo]

Why are vetted accounts sending people stuff like this.

I mean it's clearly copy-pasted and sent to multiple people but this isn't even a donations ask. Imma guess the reason people aren't responding is because you're accusing them of not doing enough for Palestine and sending it to multiple people who you clearly don't check because I've been posting about and for Palestine since oct 7th when I learned about it.

Also yes he is looking for donations, you can check his account and find it. Why are you sending this guilt trippy stuff to people and accusing them of not caring enough? You don't know me? You send these to multiple people so your clearly not checking the account in question. This dose nothing to help you personally or the Palestinian cause, it just pisses people off and makes them question vetters.

[hakucho-art]

NAWW, randomly realized how kaneki apologized to touka for not being able to help her with missing yoriko and how him taking touka to yorikos wedding is his way of making up for that/helping her. Probably the subject came up again the morning after.

I like imagining shenanigans they get into trying to find out on which day yoriko gets married because kaneki shouldve only known the location akdbwjd

[whalefill]

dude whatever man. genuinely

[sagemoderocklee]

wanting comments when i post fic is the bane of my existence

[jacklesraised]

Bruce and Cassie + •-•

Bonus w Arthur

[the-sparkling-diamond-satine]

cannot believe AK is leaving mr!...... gayest nini i have come across to date. no one is doing it like her

[iscratchdoors]

on god i wanna draw for other people more but i don't think my art has nearly enough of a following for there to be a point to posting "hey btw open to requests"

[blindedguilt-archived]

Drakengard Cut Content Found - Leonard's intro scene

//So not too long ago, some cut Drakengard content was found and posted to the Drakengard subreddit by u/drakengarded (Their profile is linked under their user), it was a short cut clip from Leonard's intro scene! I immediately knew I had to share it with everyone here, so I asked them and they gave me permission to share the clip they made! They said they might be able to get back to me with a better clip, but as I see it, this is perfect as it is.

//In the original, when Leonard brings the knife up to his throat, the screen quickly cuts back to him collapsing to his hands and knees, unable to take his own life. But in the cut version, the tip of the knife is seen barely entering his throat before he falls, providing a clearer look into just how close he was before caving into his fear of death!! The aspect ratio is slightly changed to show the difference of the original scene from the cut content.

//Waaaaaa I'm really thankful to u/Drakengarded for sharing this huge discovery!! If anything, thankful wouldn't even begin to describe how I feel <3 I've been watching this nonstop, and have picked work back up on several projects specifically because of the inspiration this has given me!! I hope everyone else has found it as interesting as I have, and thanks so much to u/Drakengarded again for allowing me to share this with everyone here!! I'm so happy <3

[kosmicvoid]

in many ways i am like a nervous house cat

[geddy-leesbian]

Mildly high in the bathtub and feeling rambly.. I know from my blog/ao3 it seems like I'm one of the people that's deeply invested in RE men and ignores the girls, but I do love Claire so fucking much, probably not as much as I love Luis but more than I love Leon to be completely honest. It's just that I don't like her in the situations I like to write about. Hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, that's been my jam as long as I've been in fandom spaces. And I just don't enjoy the thought of Claire in situations like that. I love inserting Luis into as many fucked up scenarios as possible. I play other RE games he's not in and think "what if Luis was here and got traumatized more haha" but I don't do that in games without Claire because I prefer to think she's fine and thriving and not getting into fucked up scenarios. I play Darkside chronicles and Revelations 2 and love Claire so much but when i get to the end of the game the book closes for me, like "damn poor Claire went through a lot of shit, she deserves a good break" I'm not brainstorming ways to further torment her like I do with Leon and luis, i want her happy. But I also don't like writing happy fluff, again I've been mega into angst as long as I've been writing, and I've never enjoyed domestic fluff really. I only do fluff as the payoff for a bunch of angst. I have vague fluffy thoughts for hwo Claire's nice life could be unfolding, but they aren't thoughts i feel i need to flesh out and write down. And if i tried to write them, I'd be bored to death by the lack of angst and drama

And I know I've written Serrennedy fluff where they're okay and thriving so I should be able to do the same with Claire but it's very specific fluff with those two. It's them being parents because of all my daddy issues and trauma, I don't write fluff of them unless kids are involved. And I also don't see Claire as a parent. Like maybe to Sherry but that's special. (And i mean I usually imagine Leon as the one being Sherry's parent anyway) I've been struggling with the next chapter of wakin' up blind with the house on fire for a very long time and finally realized recently it's because something about it didn't feel quite right, a conversation where Claire tells Leon she's been thinking about having a kid too. Like it's sweet and appeals to my "almost every relative I have is either dead or shitty" trauma because it's claire saying she still sees leon as a brother and their kids will be like cousins, but it just doesnt feel right, I think she's makes more sense as the cool childfree aunt

Idk how to conclude this. Just. I enjoy women escaping traumatizing situations forever and being happy and like to actively put traumatized men through more trauma ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (i focused on claire bc she's my number 1 blorbo but i am fond of most of the other girls too and just don't do things focusing heavily on them for similar reasons. Especially rebecca after umbrella chronicles i was like actually i hope to god she isnt in another mainline game any time soon bc i do not want to see her suffer more girl's been through enoigh 😭 and while claire has also been thru enough and deserves a rest i want to see her in a mainline game again because I think it's really hot when she lifts heavy things and shoves heavy things and beats people up sorry)