#<- i say spoiler since i haven’t gotten to that part yet. and also not 100% sure it’s correct but i think it is

[vanivanvanilla]

started watching link click a couple days ago and it’s. well

(it’s super fucking good just also a bit emotionally devastating at times ^_^)

[justabigassnerd]

Never Your Fault

Pairing - Ethan Hunt x daughter!reader

Word count - 6,254

Warnings - MAJOR DEAD RECKONING SPOILERS, death, injuries, blood, knives, violence, guilt, grief, nightmares

Summary - after witnessing a traumatic loss, you begin to blame yourself. can your dad help you out or is he too wrapped up in his own grief?

A/N - the first official part of the lil' Hunt series y'all! I'm so excited for y'all to read this I've been working so hard on it! it was really fun exploring these new dynamics and I genuinely enjoyed writing this so much (even if it was super painful at times). anyways I won't ramble anymore, as per y'all, please send in requests, feedback and enjoy!!!

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Most people go to places like Italy on their holidays or maybe even visiting loved ones, but you and your dad? You travelled to Rome in search of a woman who had half of a key that was crucial in the shutting down of an ever-powerful AI named The Entity.

Your dad had been tracking Grace since she made off with half the key in the Abu Dhabi airport and had managed to track her down in Rome before she escaped his grasp once more. He, Ilsa, Benji, and Luther managed to track where Grace’s next move might be and it was in Venice, at the party held by someone Ethan and the IMF had dealt with before, Alanna Mitsopolis, better known as the White Widow. They figured if Grace was heading to Venice, then the person who hired Grace must be at that party or in the area.

Ethan decided that he and Ilsa would go to the party to see if they could track Grace or her buyer down while you, Benji, and Luther remained in the safe house and ran surveillance while the two were at the party.

“y/n, be good for Benji and Luther.” Ethan says as he tugs on his blazer, folding the collar down and checking he looked alright in the mirror before Ilsa walked in.

“Seriously? I’m not a kid you know.” You scoff jokingly as Ethan looks over at you with a grin.

“Well gotta put the warning down just in case. And if you want to leave the safe house, make sure Benji and Luther know where you are and-”

“Stick to lit areas and always stay alert. I know dad.” You finish his sentence for him, smiling up at him as he lets out a soft, breathy laugh.

“You’re too much like me, you know?” Ethan says softly, reaching out to tug you into his arms for a quick hug before pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“I love you, dad.” You say quietly, squeezing him a little before pulling away.

“I love you too, y/n/n.” Ethan replies before he releases you and he and Isla gather the last of their stuff and bid a last goodbye to the three of you remaining in the safe house before leaving.

“You’ve taught her well, Ethan. She’ll be just fine.” Ilsa says with a gentle smile upon seeing the hidden worry in Ethan’s eyes. She knew how much he worried about you and your well-being, but she also knew that he was protecting you as best he could. The two make their way out onto the streets of Venice and head in the direction of the party to begin their investigation.

Not long after you heard that Ilsa and Ethan had arrived at the party, you stretched your arms above your head and stood up from your chair once you relaxed.

“Guys, I’m going out for a walk. I haven’t gotten a chance to explore yet.” You say as you grab your jacket and throw it on before grabbing your phone.

“Location on?” Luther asks, glancing at the phone in your hand as you nod.

“You know it.” You reply as both Benji and Luther see your phone location appear on their screens.

“Yep, there you are. Be safe out there y/n.” Benji says, looking at you worriedly as you smile softly at him.

“Always am.” You say reassuringly, bidding Benji and Luther goodbye before exiting the safe house and beginning to wander the streets of Venice. You didn’t have a set location in mind and since it was relatively quiet out on the streets you decided to let your legs take you wherever they wanted to go. You’d never been to Venice before so you took in every sight you came across, knowing that you may not come back to this beautiful city again after this mission. You find yourself at one point sitting on a bench near one of the canals and admiring the stars in the sky, you always found the night sky so calming.

Meanwhile, at Alanna’s party, Ethan and Ilsa had tracked down Grace and discovered that Alanna was the one who hired her to steal the half of the key that Ethan had attempted to acquire in Abu Dhabi. They found out that Alanna was planning to sell it on to someone else and despite Ethan’s best efforts, he couldn’t convince her to not sell it. Gabriel stood before the four sat on the plush sofa and revealed that The Entity had been listening in and had infiltrated the party thanks to Gabriel and his men.

“Ethan Hunt. The Entity knows all about you. And your precious little daughter. y/n, is it? Yes, that’s the one.” Gabriel starts, noticing Ethan’s body tense up at the mention of your name and a twisted grin covered his face. He was getting the reaction he wanted and now he was going to have Ethan play right into The Entity’s plan. Ethan’s heartbeat was pounding in his ears, and he could barely focus on anything around him other than Gabriel and his sneer.

“The Entity has also decided that you have to pick someone to die. Ilsa, or y/n. You cannot save both Ethan.” Gabriel says, his grin widening as Ethan shoots to his feet, immediately held back by Gabriel’s men from attacking him.

“If you hurt either one of them, I swear, no one, not even your god will stop me from killing you.” Ethan growls angrily, fighting against the two men, desperate to launch at Gabriel who stands there and laughs at Ethan’s threats. Gabriel slinks off with a couple of men in tow after Alanna leaves and Ethan and Ilsa take the opportunity to attack the men to keep Ilsa safe and buy time for them to find out where you were so they could keep you safe too.

“Grace take this comm, Luther will guide you to someplace safe, I promise. Now go!” Ethan says, shoving a small communication device into Grace’s hand and encouraging her to get out while she still can.

“Benji, where is y/n? Is she with you?” Ethan says as he dodges a punch and quickly delivers a blow in retaliation.

“No, she left a while ago, said she wanted to go on a walk.” Benji says, his eyes fixed on his laptop as he hurriedly scans the map for your whereabouts.

“Connect me to her comm now!” Ethan says to Benji, landing a punch on an enemy, sending them stumbling back.

“She didn’t take one Ethan, but she does have her location on.” Benji says, hurriedly pulling up the map and searching for the dot that signals where you are.

“Give me directions to where she is right now.” Ethan says as Ilsa subdues the final man and they exchange a brief look before both running out of the building, dodging the men pursuing them from outside the building.

“Yes, directions… wait… what’s going…? Ethan, I’ve lost her she’s not on the map anymore.” Benji’s panicked voice comes through the comms and Ethan feels his blood run cold.

“Benji, where is she? Where is y/n?” Ethan’s voice was clearly panicked, and everyone could tell how worried he was about you. Benji was frantically typing away on his laptop trying to figure out why your signal had disappeared.

“Let’s split up and search while Benji tries to find her. We’ll cover more ground that way.” Ilsa says as the two duck into an alley to avoid being spotted.

“Are you sure?” Ethan asks. He knew Ilsa also had a bright red target on her back because of her closeness to him and he wasn’t willing to lose you or her to Gabriel or The Entity.

“I’ll be fine Ethan. Whoever finds her has to let the other know and we’ll rendezvous back at the safe house. Nothing more dangerous than the stuff we’ve already done.” Ilsa says softly, taking Ethan’s hand and squeezing it softly. The two silently agree on which direction they’re going to head in before leaving the safety of the alley and running off.

“Ethan, I’ve got her back on the map I’ll lead you to her now.” Benji’s voice comes over Ethan’s comm and he perks up, completely unaware that back in the safe house, Benji had not said a word and was instead staring at his laptop in confusion at the voice that eerily mimicked his own.

You were oblivious to everything that was going on as you walked around Venice. You stopped halfway across a bridge and just admired the quiet canal and the sky above before the sound of footsteps reached your ears. You barely glanced their way at first, expecting it to be a passerby who would do no more than maybe offer you a curt nod before continuing on their way but when you noticed out the corner of your eye that they were standing there staring at you, you turned to face them. Your breath hitched in your throat and your heartbeat picked up when you got a proper look at the man standing before you. He stood in front of you, a maniacal grin on his face as he stared down at you. Every instinct was screaming at you to run, to move, to do anything but your body wouldn’t co-operate. It was like you were frozen in place and nothing you did could make you move.

“y/n Hunt. I’ve been waiting a long time to meet you.” The man says, approaching you slowly and your brain finally kicks in enough to make you pull your small switchblade out of your pocket and flick the blade out. Your dad and Ilsa had taught you how to defend yourself should the occasion arise, but you had always hoped and prayed you would never have to.

“Who are you?” You ask, fighting to keep your voice from shaking as you tighten your grip on the handle of your weapon.

“Just an old friend of your father’s.” The man says simply, moving ever closer as you lift your hand that held the blade and ready yourself, your brain repeating everything your dad and Ilsa had taught you as the man launched at you. You managed to dodge his attack and came just shy of your blade meeting his skin. The fight consisted of a lot of back and forth between dodging attacks and trying to land them. You managed to slash the man a couple of times with your small blade before the weapon was knocked from your hand and you looked up at the man in terror before he punches you across the face and sends you to the ground, hitting your head on one of the stone steps of the bridge which makes your world grow dark in an instant.

Ilsa came across you first, instantly recognising Gabriel who reached down and tugged you up by your hair as he lifted his blade to your throat. You were unconscious and unable to fight back and Ilsa couldn’t just stand by and watch.

“In all the years I’ve known Ethan I’ve learnt he cares for everyone. But his daughter will always be his top priority.” Luther’s words echoed in Ilsa’s head as she noticed the switchblade gleaming in the moonlight and she wasted no time in scooping it up.

“Pick on someone your own size.”

When you come to, the first thing that registers is the sound of an engine and the splashing of water against the walls of the canal. Your head was throbbing as you carefully sit up, blinking your eyes to adjust to your surroundings. You glanced to the side as you caught sight of a blurry figure to your right and squinted your eyes to focus them and are surprised to see the man who attacked you was now missing and your dad had taken his place, kneeling over a figure as you force yourself to your feet.

“Dad, what’s going-” You immediately cut yourself off as you approach your dad, recognising the figure he was kneeling by. Tears instantly sprang to your eyes as you stared down at Ilsa. Her eyes were open but there was no sign of life within them. Your hand covered your mouth as you blinked back the tears. You were confused, and you were worried, but above everything, you were scared. You didn’t know who attacked you and whether they were behind Ilsa’s death or even who that man was working for and what his end goal was.

“y/n, Ethan, get in!” You hear the hushed, hurried voice of Benji which breaks you from your thoughts and you see him positioning the boat near the path so you could get in the boat. You shakily make your way towards the boat, taking Benji’s outstretched hand as he eases you down into the boat.

“Careful y/n, are you okay?” Benji asks worriedly, grabbing a cloth from the first aid kit and holding it against your temple, encouraging you to hold it firmly in place as you sit down on one of the seats. In your haze, you hadn’t noticed the blood that had run down your face from when your head hit on the step.

“I’m okay.” You say shakily, looking up at Benji with tear filled eyes.

“Luther will check you over once we’re back at the safe house, just to be on the safe side.” Benji says softly with a small smile before moving to help Ethan into the boat, Ethan refused to leave Ilsa’s body behind and so Benji helped Ethan load her body onto the boat and travel down the canal until he found a place to bury her. Somewhere quiet that he would be able to visit. When he found the perfect spot, he insisted he didn’t need any help and disappeared on his own to bury the woman he loved. When he returned, his face was set and he barely spoke to you or Benji, just silently confirming he wanted to go back to the safe house and Benji complied.

When you arrived back at the safe house, Ethan excused himself to go to the roof while Luther crossed to you, placing his hands on each of your shoulders which makes you look up at him.

“Benji, keep an eye on Grace, and check in with Ethan when he comes back down. y/n lets go to your room and I’ll check that head injury of yours.” Luther says, at first to Benji who moves to sit near Grace at the table while Luther grabs the first aid kit and carefully guides you to the small room you would use to sleep in. Luther doesn’t switch the main light on, instead flicking on a small lamp. He sits you down on the edge of the bed and sits alongside you, carefully taking your hand in his own and moving both it and the cloth away from your injury so he could take a look.

“The good news is the bleeding is slowing, I’ll bandage it up now, but I think it’s best if you don’t sleep just so we can keep an eye on you. How are you feeling right now?” Luther says gently, opening the first aid kit and finding an antiseptic wipe to clean the wound.

“A bit dizzy, but I’ll live.” You mumble, wincing slightly when the wipe comes into contact with the injury, but you didn’t complain, you felt like you deserved the pain for what happened.

“And how are you feeling?” Luther asks, scrunching up the wipe and tossing it on top of its packaging before grabbing some gauze.

“I just told you I-”

“No, I’m asking how you are feeling. Emotionally not physically.” Luther corrects you gently, carefully placing the gauze against your temple and asking you quietly to hold it in place while he gets the medical tape out.

“I got Ilsa killed Luther, how do you expect me to feel?” The words came out sharper than you meant them to. You didn’t mean to snap, not at Luther but the guilt was beginning to take hold, clinging onto you gleefully like some sort of malicious creature and whispering in your ear about how it was your fault.

“y/n, it wasn’t your fault.” Luther says, a gentleness to his voice only reserved for heart to hearts like this.

“The guy that attacked me wanted to kill me I know it. So why did he kill her instead?” You whisper, tears springing to your eyes again as you think of what had just transpired. You were the one who was supposed to be dead. Ilsa was supposed to be alive, and you knew it. Ilsa was dead and it was all your fault. Luther remained quiet for a moment, silently debating his next words. He knew he couldn’t tell you that Ethan had been given a choice to save you or Ilsa, not that Ethan would have ever made the decision. But he couldn’t let you sit by and blame yourself either.

“You can’t blame yourself for what happened it was out of your control.” Luther argues gently, beginning to put the medical tape along the gauze to keep it in place while you remain silent, Luther’s words seemingly hitting a brick wall. When Luther finishes patching you up, he gathers up everything he’s used and stands, looking down at you softly.

“We’ll be in the other room if you need us.” He says before leaving the room. You remain sat on the edge of your bed, various thoughts swimming through your head of how you could’ve saved Ilsa somehow.

“y/n, we need you in the other room. We’re going over the new plan.” Benji says as he opens the door, making you wonder how long you had zoned out and did nothing but listen to your thoughts. You nod lightly at Benji’s words, forcing yourself to your feet and heading into the next room. Grace was still sitting at the table under both Ethan and Luther’s watchful eyes as you enter behind Benji. As you sit at the table, Ethan starts going over the new plan, how both he and Grace would disguise themselves and get the other half of the key and then Ethan would leave the train and meet you and Benji at the rendezvous point so you could figure out the next move from there while Grace would let herself get arrested and get into contact with Kittridge so she could join the IMF. Gabriel, who you learnt was the man who attacked you, was the only man who knew how to use the key so learning what the key opened and how it worked was important to the mission. As Ethan walked Grace through what she had to do, you noticed Luther packing up his belongings and you noticed he hadn’t been mentioned once in the plan.

“What about you Luther?” You ask, confused when he looks up at you with a soft smile.

“I’m heading off the grid for a while, I have traces of The Entity on my hard drive, so I want to investigate it further. I’ll make contact when I have something.” Luther says, putting the last of his stuff in a bag and straightening up.

“I’ll see you around Ethan. Don’t kill Gabriel, we need him.” Luther says, clapping Ethan on the shoulder as he approaches him.

“Luther, wait!” You call quickly, leaping to your feet and rushing over to give the man a hug which he quickly reciprocates.

“I’ll see you around Lil’ Hunt.” Luther whispers as he hugs you back, bringing a small smile to your face at the nickname Luther had been calling you since the moment he first met you. After pulling away you bid Luther one final goodbye before he leaves to investigate The Entity further. After Luther leaves, Benji notices that the mask machine has broken while making the mask for Ethan.

“Grace, you’ll have to get on the train by yourself. I’ll figure out another way on.” Ethan says, glancing at Grace who is visibly worried by the news.

“Promise me you’ll be on that train.” Grace says to your dad, and you watch him carefully to see how he’ll respond.

“I promise.” Your dad responds, and despite the lack of emotion on his face, you knew he was being one hundred percent serious. He’d never let anyone who trusted him down if he could help it. Grace is then given a mask with Alanna’s likeness and is instructed to put it in a bag so she can board the Orient Express and track down Alanna. She’s also given a sedative to knock Alanna out long enough for Grace to take her place and retrieve both halves of the key.

“We should probably make a move guys; we don’t have long until the train is due to leave.” Benji points out, scooping what he needs into his bag while encouraging you to do the same, so you quickly go into your room and grab the stuff you need and shove them into a bag and sling it over your shoulder. The four of you then head down to the garage that was used for IMF vehicles. Ethan immediately grabs the motorbike, gets on it and looks at Benji.

“You take Grace to the train station. Get her on safely, okay?” He says directly to Benji, barely sparing you a second glance, making you look to the ground, fighting back any potential tears as you follow Benji to the car and get in the back seat while Benji gets behind the wheel and Grace gets in the passenger seat. You lean back against the seat and squeeze your eyes shut to fight back the tears further. Seeing your dad actively avoid looking at you was just confirmation to you that he thought it was your fault Ilsa was dead. That he wished you had been the one who died instead of her. You watch as your dad revs the engine and drives off, with Benji following. When you reach the train station that the Orient Express will stop at, Benji pulls over and lets Grace out, reassuring her that she’ll be just fine before watching her walk into the station.

“Come on y/n, get in the front.” Benji says with a smile, turning back to look at you and fighting back a frown when you shake your head.

“I need my co-pilot for this.” He then says, noticing how you perk up just a little at his words. He knew Ethan tried to keep you out of the IMF life as much as possible but Benji figured that helping out behind the scenes wouldn’t hurt and so he taught you all the technical stuff he knew and allowed you to help out if you wanted to. Convinced by his words, you move to sit in the passenger seat, smiling softly as Benji smiles back.

“Atta girl.” Benji says with a smile before starting the car up and beginning the drive to the rendezvous point. You figured it would be a straight shot and a lot of waiting around. Your dad already knew where he was going to attempt to board the train and Grace was already on it, so it was just you and Benji until your dad met you at the rendezvous point with the key.

“Benji, the train didn’t slow down I need another place to get on!” You hear your dad’s shout come over the comms as you exchange a worried look with Benji.

“y/n, get my tablet and pull up the map.” Benji quickly instructs and you do as he asks, opening the map and handing it to Benji as he puts the car on autopilot. You and Benji scour the terrain and areas your dad could use to get on the train. You notice it first, switching your comm off and pointing it out.

“He might not like it, but this seems like our best bet.” You say, glancing from the map to Benji who lets out a small sigh but nods regardless.

“Okay, this is where you need to go.” Benji takes over directing Ethan where to go while you remain silent, listening to the pounding of your heart echoing in your ears. When you heard your dad confirming he reached the top of the mountain and wondering how he was going to get down you started to worry. Benji insisted he’d be fine since he had his parachute but when your dad’s comm went silent you started to worry that you had caused your dad’s death as well.

By the time you had reached the rendezvous point, you had confirmation that your dad had made it onto the train, but you didn’t hear from him after that, leaving you to wonder if he was okay.

“He’ll be fine. He’s Ethan and nothing stops Ethan.” Benji says reassuringly, noticing you fidgeting and the obvious tension in your body.

“I could’ve gotten him killed with that mountain idea.” You mumble, looking down and fiddling with the charm bracelet that sat proudly on your right wrist.

“It’s the only way Ethan could’ve gotten to the train, there were no other chances for him to get on. Your dad knows what he’s doing, and I bet it won’t be long until he turns up.” Benji says reassuringly, shuffling in his seat so he can face you as best he can. When you remain silent, Benji speaks up again.

“Are you okay, y/n? You seemed shaken up on the bridge and I haven’t gotten a chance to check in with you yet.” Benji asks softly, worry written across his face as he remembers watching you realise that Ilsa had died.

“It’s my fault Ilsa died, isn’t it? And dad thinks it’s my fault too.” You mumble, your gaze not moving from the bracelet as you flick one of the silver charms lightly, watching as it flies away from your finger due to the impact and then bounces harmlessly off your wrist. As you stared at your bracelet you neglected to see Benji’s expression shift to one of shock at the realisation that you were not only blaming yourself but thinking Ethan blamed you too.

“y/n/n, Ilsa’s death was not your fault at all. You didn’t even know what was happening because-”

“You’re right, I didn’t know what was happening and I should’ve. I should’ve taken a comm with me so I would know if anything was happening, like some mad man wanting to kill me. I should’ve known so I could’ve gone back to the safe house and Ilsa and dad wouldn’t have had to run around Venice looking for me.” You say, frustrated tears filling your eyes as more potential ways you could’ve saved Ilsa pop into your head.

“y/n, even if you did have a comm it wouldn’t have helped that much. The Entity managed to mimic my voice and use it to lead Ethan somewhere else when I was trying to figure out where you were because it wiped your signal from the map so I couldn’t lead your dad or Ilsa to you to keep you safe.” Benji explains, his heart breaking for you, wishing he could take this pain away from you because in his eyes you didn’t deserve it.

“It doesn’t change the fact that dad obviously blames me. He couldn’t even look at me before we left, and he didn’t talk to me either.” Your voice was no louder than a whisper now as the tears escaped their confinement and rolled down your cheeks. Benji’s face softened when he saw how upset you were and placed a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“Ethan would never blame you for what happened to Ilsa. He’s just trying to put the mission first, so he doesn’t have to deal with his emotions. You know what he’s like. Try and talk to him when we make it to the next safe house, it’ll do you both some good to talk things over.” Benji says softly, squeezing your shoulder gently to make you look up at him, eyes still filled with tears.

“I know you’ve got it in your head that your dad blames you, but he couldn’t. Ethan knows it’s not your fault. It’s Gabriel’s.” Benji assures as you sniffle lightly, reaching up with your hand to wipe at your eyes harshly.

“Benji, I’m on my way now stand by.” Before you had a chance to respond, Ethan’s voice crackles over the comms and you immediately move to sit in the back of the car, knowing it’ll be the easiest way to avoid talking to your dad. You waited with bated breath for your dad to arrive and as soon as he landed, he took his parachute off and loaded into the car.

“I got it, Benji. We’ve gotta get somewhere to lay low and get into contact with Luther to let him know we’ve got it.” Ethan says, holding up the key to show off that he has it while you curl into yourself in the backseat, avoiding even looking in your dad’s direction as Benji starts the car to drive to a safe house you could use to lie low in. Halfway through the journey, Benji glanced in his rearview mirror and saw you staring out the window intently, tears evident in your eyes and fought back a frown as he then glanced at Ethan out of the corner of his eyes and saw him focused on the road ahead.

The drive to the new safe house was silent other than the rumbling of the engine, and when Benji parked the car in the garage you were quick to jump out, grab your bag and disappear in the building, leaving Benji and Ethan behind. Benji, having had enough of the silence, turns to Ethan.

“Ethan, mate, you need to talk to y/n. She’s not okay right now and I know the mission is important, but I think right now your daughter is more important. You weren’t the only one there when you found Ilsa. She blames herself, Ethan.” Benji says, his tone gentle but with a certain strength in his voice showing how he wanted to get his point across. Ethan briefly looks in the direction of where you had gone and nods so lightly that the movement was almost imperceivable. Ethan decided to wait until he could find an appropriate time to talk to you since he needed to get into contact with Luther and try and figure out where to start searching for the Sevastopol so he can end The Entity. Before he knew it night had fallen and when he sticks his head in the room you decided to occupy to see if you were awake, he was greeted with the sight of you curled up in bed. He pressed his lips into a firm line and backed out of the room, vowing to talk to you in the morning.

What Ethan didn’t know was that you were faking it. You couldn’t fall asleep no matter how hard you tried. Every time you closed your eyes you were greeted with the image of Isla’s dead body on the bridge and the heartbreak in your dad’s eyes. Your brain refused to let up as you continued to try, coaching yourself through methods your dad had taught you to help you get to sleep. After hearing silence fall around the safe house and realising that everyone has gone to bed, you get up, grabbing a blanket and tugging it around your shoulders as you head out onto the balcony to sit and watch the stars.

An hour after you went out onto the balcony, Ethan shot up in bed, panting heavily as flashes of his nightmare replay in his head, making him squeeze his eyes shut in an attempt to rid of them but immediately regretting his actions when he sees the dead body on the bridge again, but instead of Ilsa, it was you. Opening his eyes again, Ethan pushes himself off the bed and heads to your room, wanting to check in on you just to prove to himself that you were fast asleep and safe within the building. When he opened the door, he squinted to search for your figure beneath the covers, but panic rose in his chest when he realised you weren’t there. He rushed over to the bed to look for any signs of a struggle but when he found nothing, he left your room to look for anything that might clue him into your whereabouts, pausing as he walked past the doors that went out onto the balcony when he noticed a figure outside and when he focused, he realised it was you.

At first, Ethan’s instinct was to head out onto the balcony and scold you for disappearing without letting him know but just as he reached for the door handle, he took a step back and allowed himself to gather his thoughts. Had his nightmare not awoken him and made him want to check on you, you would’ve simply remained out on the balcony until you felt ready to come back in and he would’ve woken up in the morning none the wiser. You hadn’t left the safe house. You just needed a moment. After taking a deep breath, Ethan opens the door carefully before stepping out onto the balcony and closing the door behind him. You didn’t turn to face him, your gaze remained fixed on the stars that had provided you endless comfort night after night and when Ethan stepped closer, he noticed the tear tracks on your cheeks.

“Couldn’t sleep?” He asks softly, resting his forearms against the cool metal railings and joining you in looking up at the sky.

“Every time I tried; I saw Ilsa.” You mumble, blinking as another few tears roll down your cheeks. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Ethan turn his head to look at you.

“I’m sorry you were there. I should’ve been there to protect you.” You hear your dad say and that sentence made you finally tear your gaze away from the sky to look at your dad who had tears of his own shining in his eyes.

“It wasn’t your fault dad. Benji told me about The Entity mimicking his voice to throw you off.” You say, a sad smile on your face as you look at him before looking up at the moon, admiring how its crescent shape shone in the darkness.

“It wasn’t your fault either. Gabriel was already two steps ahead of me when he said he was going to kill you or Ilsa. He made it practically impossible for both of you to survive by distracting me.” Ethan says softly, getting your attention once more as he watches you softly.

“But Ilsa died.” You argue, watching how Ethan nods forlornly but his eyes never lose their gentleness.

“She did. But that doesn’t mean I’d want you in her place. It was never your fault that she died.” Your dad says, reaching out to wipe the tears that had fallen down your cheeks. He catches them softly on his thumbs and swipes them away as he considers his next words.

“Ilsa knew what she was getting into. She died protecting you because Gabriel had gotten to you first. I will miss her as long as I’m alive and I will always love her, especially because she saved you.” Ethan then says, silently asking for permission to pull you into a hug which you allow him to do, clinging to him as you fight back more tears.

“I wish there was something I could’ve done to have her with us right now.” You whisper, biting down on your lip to stop more tears from falling.

“Me too, sweetheart. But we can avenge her by using the key to destroy The Entity, and after that, I’m not going to let Gabriel get away again.” Ethan swears, a hand reaching up to run through your hair before he presses a gentle kiss to the top of your head before suddenly being reminded of the injury you sustained.

“Your head, is it okay?” He asks, pulling away slightly to look at the gauze that was covering the injury.

“It’s feeling a lot better than it was.” You admit, a small smile appearing on your face as you look up at your dad who mirrors your smile.

“I’m sorry for not realising how you felt sooner. I was just overwhelmed by losing Ilsa and I let the mission get-“

“Dad, it’s okay. Getting the key was important. And I know you miss Ilsa. Your grief is valid, and I never wanted to make you feel like it wasn’t. I know I’m your daughter and you want to protect me, but you can talk to me, and I’ll try to help.” You say and instead of replying verbally, Ethan pulls you in for another hug, squeezing you gently as he plants another kiss on the top of your head.

“I love you so much, y/n.” He whispers, allowing himself to relax as he holds you safely in his arms.

“I love you too, dad.” You reply, cuddling as close to your dad as possible as you spare the night sky one last glance.

You’d be okay.

[wolfjackle-creates]

Ghost!Robin Part 10

Here's another WIP Wednesday! Hope you enjoy.

Story Summary: Danny was invited to dinner at Wayne Manor to meet Jazz's boyfriend and his family for the first time. He worked hard to make sure no ghost business would interrupt the evening. But when he arrived, all he could focus on was the ghost of the dead Robin that seemed to haunt Jason. Looks like he was breaking his promise.

First, Previous

Word Count: 1.4k

----------

Alfred let out a put-upon sigh. “You, and you alone”—he gave a look to everyone at the table—“may ask Mr. Danny a single question. All other questions must wait until Mr. Danny has finished his dessert and informs you he is willing to answer more of them.”

“What the fuck does Jazz mean when she says ‘spoilers’?”

Danny sighed and leaned his chair back as he looked up to the ceiling. “Yeah, okay. That’s fair. You deserve an answer to that, dead boyfriend number two.”

“Stop calling me that!”

“I’m finally not the only dead one in the family. Sorry, but I’m gonna revel in that a bit longer.” Danny grinned at him and set his chair back on the ground. “So, spoilers. Well. My grandpa is kinda the Ghost of Time. Responsible for maintaining the time stream to bring about the future that has the best outcome for the most amount of beings. We met a few years back when he was ordered to kill me but became my mentor instead. Since he’s the ghost of time, he sees all futures and doesn’t really exist in the present. Sometimes he refers to things that haven’t happened yet as if they have or brings up events from centuries or millenia ago as if they happened yesterday. Bit headache inducing if I’m honest, but I’ve gotten used to it. Jazz doesn’t like it when I share details about what Gramps has let slip about her future.”

“No I do not. I’d rather live my life as if I have some degree of free will!”

The silence from the Waynes was only disrupted by the increased typing from Tim and Barbara.

“You know what,” said Jason after a beat, “I don’t even know why I’m surprised. Jazz, your brother’s life is insane and I say that as a zombie from a family of vigilantes.”

Danny shook his head and swallowed a bite of ice cream. “You aren’t a zombie. Zombies don’t retain any memories of their lives and they can’t think. Not sure what you are, to be honest. You’re ghostly in some way as evidenced by Robin and his ability to use and eat ectoplasm. Which you also recognized, if by a different name. Though, I will reiterate, ectoplasm shouldn’t bubble or collect in pits in the living realms.”

Jason stared at him for a moment before stabbing his spoon into his own pie. He muttered something under his breath and projected, restraint, hold it in.

Danny sighed. He really shouldn’t drag this out any longer. His remaining desert was gone in a few bites.

“Fine. I’m done. How do we want to do this?”

Jazz cleared her throat, “If I may, I have a suggestion.”

Bruce nodded and gestured for her to continue.

“Look, if we take the time to answer every single question about the Infinite Realms and ghost culture, history, biology, and psychology, we will be here for years. Now, Danny’s partner Tucker is our tech guy. We can have him send over a document tomorrow with much of the information we think would be necessary for you to have. You can review it on your own time line and verify it with Justice League Dark or whomever. And you can formulate a list of questions you need further clarification on. Sound fair?”

Jazz was the best. Danny sent her a wave of love you, thanks, you’re amazing and she squeezed his knee under the table.

Bruce hummed. “And what do you wish to talk of tonight?”

Jazz leaned back slightly and looked at Danny. “Danny? I think this is all you.”

Danny nodded. To the table he said, “Over half of you are in danger from the Guys in White. I suppose I should start with showing you how.” The ecto-trackers he had pulled out earlier still sat ignored on the table. He grabbed his own version and took a position kneeling between Bruce and Barbara. Tim got up to stand behind him. Everyone else also got to their feet and started moving closer.

Danny clicked his tongue. “The screen is too small for all of you to see. Jason, stay seated over there. It’ll be easier to show what’s going on with you if you and Robin aren’t right next to each other. Damian and Cass, you are the next most affected so come over. Everyone else, I’ll show you the exact same things just after.”

Cass gave him a single nod and slid out of her seat. Damian didn’t say anything, but pushed his chair out and stalked over. He stood as far from Tim as he could while still being able to look over Danny’s head at the small screen. Cass took her place between the two.

Whatever, their family drama was not his problem. He turned on the machine. “So this device tracks ectoplasm. My design is the most sophisticated on Earth. Green is free ectoplasm—ectoplasm that isn’t part of a ghost or sentient being. Purple indicates a liminal human. Blue is an unknown ghost. Red is a known, unfriendly ghost. Yellow is a known, friendly ghost. Orange is a halfa like me. The intensity of the color indicates the strength of the being.”

“What is a liminal human?” asked Bruce. “You’ve mentioned them before.”

“I didn’t go over that?” asked Danny as colored shapes began to appear on the screen. A bright orange blob appeared in the middle, himself. He was surrounded by three purple blobs, Cass and Damian were the brightest, Steph the dimmest at the other end of the table. But what really drew his eye was Robin. He was mostly blue, but a wave of blue-organge-purple connected him to Jason who was mostly purple. Both of their main beings had some of all three colors mixed in. Danny had never seen anything like it.

But he couldn’t focus on the strange display right now. Saving the image, he decided to ask Jason later if he could show Frostbite and Tucker to get their insight. “Liminals are humans who have been exposed to ectoplasm in some way. Either through death or long-term, low-level exposure. Overtime, it makes you death-touched and that changes a person. Everyone is different. Jazz has a degree of super strength, a ghostly obsession, and true empathy. Tucker has some technopathy; Sam a green thumb like you wouldn’t believe.” Though, this was Gotham, home to Poison Ivy. “Or, well, maybe you would, living in Gotham.” Danny pointed to the purple blob that represented Bruce. “This indicates you have quite a high level of liminality. Jazz”—he pointed to where she was, her color clearly brighter than any of the Waynes—“is currently the third most liminal person I know of on Earth.” He then pointed to Stephanie, a much dimmer purple haze. “And Steph is only lightly touched.”

Bruce hummed. “So this Ghost Investigation Ward will use a device like this to track any of us who have any sort of ectoplasm in us.”

“Yeah. Only theirs isn’t nearly as good.” Danny looked to his sister. “Jazz, mind passing the GIW device down?”

“Of course.” The GIW ectoplasmic radiation sensor had their signature sleek, white design. It was passed down the line from Jazz until Bruce was able to hand it to Danny.

“Thanks.” Danny took it and turned it on. “So the GIW design looks good, but can’t differentiate between different types of ectoplasm. As of now, they aren’t even aware of liminals.”

This device, when it turned on, showed a black screen with a white bar that went up and down at a steady pace. A loading bar was visible on the bottom labeled “Scanning.”

“As you can see, theirs takes a lot longer to get readings.” It finished loading. “Here we go.” Danny was a large green shape labeled “Phantom.”

Robin was also a green shape, though he was distorted with a tail leading towards Jason. He had no label. The others, excluding Stephanie who wasn’t displayed at all, showed up as a green haze.

“Thanks to my parents, they have good readings on me which is why my name shows up. They aren’t usually too focused on identifying ghosts, though, which is why Jason-Robin doesn’t have a label. I’m a special case. The rest of you are safe from a distance, but that haze means they’d take you in for questioning at the very least.”

“Hn. What is the range on these devices?” asked Bruce.

Danny shrugged. “My stuff? From anywhere. I track through the Infinite Realms, not by Earth. GIW? Jason-Robin, they’ll be able to detect something from probably ten miles out of city limits, but they’d need to be within half a mile to get an accurate location. The Fentons? Mile or so. They get an exact location or nothing.”

----------

Next

I don't really think I have much to say about this segment. The info dump has started! Thank you Jazz for keeping people on track. Alfred will help her if he feels people start pushing too much.

Tag List Part 1

@addie-lover-of-stories, @justwannabecat, @gin2212, @amercurio, @regonold, @overtherose, @readerzj, @sjrose1216, @echoednonny, @deeterzz, @blu-lilac, @number-one-jew, @rowanaway-fromthisbs, @vythika96, @tired-yet-awaken, @themirrorghost, @emeraldcorpral, @all-mights-asscheeks, @darkhinauniverse, @blep-23, @phandomhyperfixationblog, @larkcoe1, @thegatorsgoose, @job-ross-the-second, @britcision, @lenacraft, @bubblemixer, @androgynouslordofescapism, @purefrickingspite, @leftmiraclechaos, @lizisipancardo, @starlight-sparks, @miraculousandmore, @gildedphoenix, @sometimesthingsfallapart, @letmesayfuxk, @phoenixcatch7, @skulld3mort-1fan, @abaowo, @dhampir-princess, @idkmrpianoman, @sarina-elais, @ballzfrog-blog, @undead-essence, @spookytragedyshark, @flyingpansaurus, @akintoabitch, @marivictal, @8-29pm, @justreadingthefanfics, @happybear135, @kisatamao, @spoopyspoony, @adorablechaos, @sara0055, @screamingtofillthevoid

[saline-coelacanth]

A Quick Visit to the Crossroads

(Surprise one shot based on that one concept of Cole fighting Jay that I posted about a while ago. You know, this post right here. But yeah, I also posted this to ao3. Spoilers for s2p2)

Read on ao3

Summary: Cole feels bad about leaving Jay behind at the Tournament of Sources, so Geo decides to try and make him feel better with a trip to the Crossroads. Things go well until Cole runs into his old friend again.

Word Count: 2,822

_______________________

The Tournament of Sources had left a bit of a sour taste in everyone’s mouth for various reasons. Sure, they had gotten Kai back, but Arin was gone. The Forbidden Five were also all free now. But for Cole, the main thing on his mind was Jay.

Jay had always been Cole’s best friend. The two of them were extremely close and Cole would be lying if he said he hadn’t missed him. But he never worried too much over Jay. He was a competent ninja, he’d be fine on his own. It wasn’t until he saw him at the tournament and the realization of what had happened hit Cole like a truck.

Jay had lost his memories. Even worse, Ras found him before the ninja could and he fed the former ninja lies to poison his mind. But the absolute worst part of it all was when Jay and Nya fought in the tournament and Jay resorted to using Shatterspin, shattering his soul in the process. Watching that fight stuck with Cole and he couldn’t get the images out of his mind ever since.

“You seem upset,” Geo commented as he picked up the dirty dishes.

Cole had come to visit the finders after the tournament. He was trying his best to seem upbeat for the sake of the finders, but clearly that wasn’t working.

“You can tell, huh?” Cole questioned while he sat at the table.

“What’s on your mind?” Geo asked. “I can’t help but notice you’ve seemed like this since the tournament ended.”

“I just keep thinking about Jay,” Cole explained. “I should have gone after him, or tried to say something to him. He’s my best friend, I should have helped him! We should have gone looking for him before Ras could find him!”

“You had no way of knowing what happened to him,” Geo reminded. “And you guys were dealing with some world ending type stuff. You had to pick your priorities.”

“You’re right…” Cole agreed. “But it still feels wrong saying that Jay wasn’t the highest priority.”

Cole took a sip of his tea as he stared down at the table. Geo frowned as he realized Cole’s mood wasn’t gonna be changing any time soon.

“Nya and Kai said they were gonna go look for him, right?” Geo asked.

“Yeah, that was their plan,” Cole replied. “Maybe I should have gone with them.”

“I mean, do you really want too many people going after Jay? You guys are kind of important heroes. What if that Ras guy comes back or the Forbidden Five become a real problem?”

“Ugh, you’re right,” Cole groaned. “Why can’t there just be an easy solution for everything?”

Geo thought for a moment. He completely understood why Cole was so upset and he didn’t blame him at all, but he also hated seeing him like this.

“Hey, why don’t we go out for the day?” Geo suggested. “Maybe get your mind off of things?”

Cole looked up at Geo. “You sure that would be fine?” he asked. “I don’t wanna leave Fritz and Spitz alone.”

“Bonzle can watch them,” Geo assured. “They’ll be fine for a few hours.”

Cole gave Geo a skeptical look as he knew just how mischievous Fritz and Spitz could be.

“Ok, they’ll probably be fine for a few hours,” Geo corrected. “Come on, you look like you need a good day to go out and have some fun.”

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt,” Cole said. “We could go to the Crossroads. You haven’t been there yet, have you?”

“No, I haven’t really been anywhere since the fog cleared.”

“Then we have to go!” Cole decided. “You’ll love the Crossroads!”

Geo smiled softly as Cole’s mood had quickly changed. “Alright, the Crossroads it is.”

______________________________________________

Cole himself had only been to the Crossroads a few times, but he immediately knew that he wanted to bring Geo there sometime. As soon as they got there, Geo was mesmerized by all the architecture and the variety of people wandering the streets. It was a similar feeling to what he felt when he arrived at the Tournament of Sources. Geo had a big smile on his face the whole time, and seeing Geo happy made Cole feel happy.

“You know they have some pretty good pies here,” Cole mentioned, clearly trying to suggest they go get food.

“Better than the ones the tournament had?” Geo asked.

“Eh, probably about the same in my opinion,” Cole admitted. “I don’t usually have strong opinions about pie.”

“Yeah, because you’re a cake guy,” Geo said.

Cole let out a longing sigh. “Oh, I could go for a nice cake right now,” he commented. “But no, we already decided on pie.”

Geo let out a soft chuckle. He always found Cole’s sweet tooth to be endearing.

The two of them made their way to the pie shop and got a couple of slices to go. They continued their walk through the Crossroads, the two of them enjoying their time together greatly. Cole had managed to forget about why he had been so upset that morning. That was, until he spotted a certain someone wandering around.

Cole and Geo were in the middle of a conversation when Cole suddenly went silent. Geo immediately knew something was wrong as he saw Cole’s expression turn grim.

“Cole?” Geo questioned. He turned to follow Cole’s gaze and his eyes went wide once he recognized the Master of Lightning off in the distance. “Is that…?” Geo questioned.

“Jay!” Cole called out, quickly running after him.

“Wait, Cole!” Geo yelled after him, but Cole was already sprinting away.

Cole continued running towards Jay, calling his name out to try and get his attention, but he seemed unfazed. It wasn’t until Cole got close that Jay actually reacted.

“Jay!” Cole called out again, only for Jay to whip his head around, shooting a lightning bolt towards him. Cole froze up as the bolt just barely shot past him. However, Jay wasn’t finished yet as he retaliated with a kick right into Cole’s gut.

Cole winced and fell onto the ground before looking up at Jay who was now standing over him. Jay’s eyes were wide at first before they narrowed into a glare.

“You,” Jay said with a cold tone.

“Jay!” Cole quickly scrambled onto his feet. “What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here?” Jay retaliated. “Are you ninja following me?”

“What? No,” Cole denied. “I mean, I guess yeah, we have been looking for you, but not because of any malicious reason!”

Jay had a look of disgust on his face as Cole continued talking. Before Cole could finish explaining anything, Jay simply turned and began to walk away.

“Hey! Where are you going?” Cole questioned, but Jay didn’t answer. “Jay, listen to me!” Cole followed him, grabbing him by the wrist, which turned out to be a big mistake.

Jay immediately sent a massive shock through Cole’s body which instantly got him to let go.

“Leave me alone!” Jay shouted. “You think I don’t know what you’re trying to do? You’re trying to manipulate me! You want to tell me lies to get me on your side!”

“No! Jay, you’re a ninja,” Cole tried to reason with him. “Ras was the one who manipulated you! He’s the one who told you lies about who you were!”

“Why should I believe anything you have to say?” Jay asked.

“Because you’re my best friend, Jay,” Cole insisted. “You may not remember it, but we’re the best of friends! We’ve always been so close, you have to believe me.”

Jay didn’t seem moved at all as he continued glaring at Cole. He shook his head and attempted to walk away again. However, there was no way Cole would give up so easily. Without warning, Cole grabbed Jay again, this time picking him up and carrying him over his shoulder.

“Wha- Hey!” Jay yelled. “Put me down!”

“Not until you listen to me!” Cole argued as he carried Jay away.

Jay grumbled angrily and attempted to send another shock through Cole’s body. And although it hurt, Cole simply pushed through the pain.

“What?” Jay questioned.

“Heh, I’ve trained with you for years,” Cole said, only a slight tiredness in his voice. “It’s gonna take more than one shock to slow me down.”

Jay tried again and again to electrocute Cole, but for some reason the ninja kept going. That was, until they had reached their destination.

Cole finally put Jay down after they had entered a tent. Cole took a moment to catch his breath as it was clear that Jay’s attacks did indeed take their toll on him.

“If you think that I’m going to listen to you after you kidnapped me,” Jay started yelling, “then you’re-” Jay went quiet as he looked around the tent. There were various portraits displayed, each of them showing one of the ninja. Jay froze once he recognized his own face amongst the photos.

“You’re one of us, Jay,” Cole insisted.

“What… what kind of trick are you trying to play on me?” Jay questioned.

“This isn’t a trick!” Cole argued. “The people of the Crossroads made this little shrine to honor us. Lloyd told me all about it. Back before the merge, we were the protectors of Ninjago, and then when we all went missing, this little shrine was built. Now why would they include your picture with ours if you weren’t part of our team?”

Jay was completely silent as he tried to process. He then started laughing, something that felt familiar to Cole. Cole’s smile began to return as he heard that familiar laugh.

“I’ll admit, this is pretty elaborate,” Jay commented.

Cole’s smile immediately faded. “What?”

“Setting up this whole thing to try and trick me?” Jay continued. “You must be really desperate to make me look like an idiot!”

“Jay, this isn’t a trick!” Cole argued. “Why would I go through all this effort just to lie to you?!”

“Because that’s exactly what you ninja do!” Jay shouted. “You lie and manipulate to get your way! And I did NOT escape from years in the Administration wasting my life just to be used as a little pawn!”

In his anger, Jay began to prepare an electrical blast, shooting it towards Cole. This time however, Cole created a wall of earth to block the attack. Jay seemed somewhat surprised to see Cole block his attack so easily. He let out an annoyed grumble.

“I already told you, Jay,” Cole said, “we’ve trained for years together. I know how to deal with your lightning.”

Jay began to angrily shoot more bolts of lightning at Cole, and Cole managed to block each and every one of them.

“I don’t want to fight you, Jay!” Cole insisted. “You’re my best friend!”

“Shut up!” Jay shouted, his voice full of nothing but pure hatred. He shot one last blast at Cole before he stopped to catch his breath. Cole also seemed tired, but Jay was breathing much more heavily.

“A little out of practice, huh?” Cole said, somewhat teasingly.

“You have no idea what you’re messing with,” Jay replied, his voice sounding sinister.

Cole gave Jay a confused look as he had no idea what he meant by that. He felt even more confused as he saw Jay begin to snap his fingers, tiny bolts of lightning shooting with each snap. He had never seen Jay do something like this, and after a few snaps, a familiar red streak sparked off of his lightning which filled Cole with dread.

“What?” Cole questioned.

Jay grinned and snapped one last time as more red energy sparked from him. His eyes began to glow a bright red as the sinister energy surrounded his body. He then gave Cole zero time to react as he dashed towards him, knocking him away with ease.

Cole flew out of the tent, crashing into a hard wall outside. Jay then jumped out after him, shooting a blast of lightning at the ninja. Cole screamed out in pain as Jay attacked him. Cole then fell forwards onto the ground and tried to catch his breath.

“How… how did you…?” Cole questioned weakly.

“Perform Shatterspin?” Jay replied before snickering. “Easy. I’ve been practicing since Ras sent me away. I needed to become stronger, and figuring out Shatterspin on my own is the key to that.”

Jay dashed at Cole again, knocking him away to crash into another wall. Jay kept doing this same move over and over again, knocking Cole around the buildings like he was playing a game of tennis with himself. Cole grunted in pain at each strike. Finally, Jay threw Cole back towards the tent that this fight had started in.

Cole crashed into his own portrait, knocking it onto the ground along with the candles that were on display. It didn’t take very long for things to catch on fire. Cole slowly stood up and looked behind him as he saw his own face burning away. Cole then felt paralyzed in fear as he felt the presence of someone standing over him. Cole looked up at Jay’s burning, red eyes glaring back at him.

“Jay… please…” Cole pleaded, not knowing what else to say.

Jay smiled as he readied another bolt of lightning in his hand. But before he could finish Cole off, he felt a sharp pain stabbing him in the back.

“AGH!” Jay screamed out in agony.

“You stay away from him!” Geo yelled as he stabbed the makeshift weapon into Cole’s attacker.

Jay fell onto his knees in pain as Geo quickly ran over to help Cole off of the ground.

“Geo?” Cole questioned weakly.

“We gotta get you out of here,” Geo urged as he helped Cole out of the tent.

“But Jay… he…” Cole insisted.

“He’s too dangerous,” Geo said. “I’m sorry, but we have to leave him.”

Geo helped carry Cole away from the burning tent. And as much as Cole wanted to argue, as much as he wanted to rush back after Jay, he knew he couldn’t. The risk was too high, and he had to make sure he didn’t get himself killed.

Jay grabbed at the weapon that was still sticking out of his back. He braced himself before pulling it out, throwing the bloody weapon onto the ground. He then immediately covered the wound with his hand, a weak attempt to stop the bleeding. He looked around the tent as everything was one fire. His gaze then shifted over towards the portrait of the lightning ninja. Somehow, it was the only thing that hadn't caught on fire yet. Jay narrowed his eyes before shooting out a bolt of lightning, making sure that photo burned along with everything else around it.

Jay stumbled out of the tent. He looked around angrily as he realized Cole had gotten away. He shook his head, realizing he had much bigger issues to deal with, most notably the stab wound he had just received. He’d just have to finish that ninja off another day.

______________________________________________

Once things had calmed down a bit and Cole had received some medical attention, Geo took him back home to the Land of the Lost Things.

“You had me worried back there,” Geo admitted. “I lost you in the crowd after you ran after Jay.”

“I’m sorry, Geo,” Cole apologized. “I just panicked.”

Geo was bandaging some of Cole’s wounds that hadn’t gotten fully patched up just yet. He tried his best to be gentle as he was never the best with this type of thing. Cole was always better at medical stuff, probably from his years of being a ninja.

“He left you in bad shape,” Geo said.

“I know…” Cole mumbled. “He used Shatterspin…” “I thought you needed that special gong thing to use Shatterspin?” Geo questioned.

“I thought so too,” Cole replied. “But somehow he figured it out on his own… And now he’s definitely in worse condition than ever.”

“Hey, let’s focus on you right now,” Geo said, looking Cole in the eyes. “You could have died back there.”

“Yeah, but Jay-”

“You guys are going to find Jay,” Geo assured. “And you’ll find some way to get his memories back, and then all of this will be a distant memory. Look, if the stories you told me were true, then I have no doubt you’ll find a way to fix things with him.”

Cole didn’t respond immediately, he just slowly looked away. “Thanks, Geo,” he said quietly.

Geo frowned before gently holding Cole’s hand. “Sorry I had to stab your best friend back there.”

“It’s fine, I understand,” Cole assured. “It was either him or me.” Cole let out a long sigh. “But one thing’s for sure. If I’m gonna run into Jay again, then I need to learn how to use Rising Dragon.”

[mayzingly]

all the s2 ep3 parts ruined with yapping

!!SPOILERS, IF YOU HAVENT WATCHED ANY OF THEM GO WATCH THEM!!

I haven’t seen an episode be split up in parts since s1 ep10, so either Brittany decided to do it in parts instead of all at once because she knew we would complain about it literally being three months since the last one, or THEYRE COOKING

^^^^^^^^

so the episode starts with them walking on a path, which means im allowed to assume that Pyrare and Ajacenus went in the forest and then got ajavex from somewhere.

first thing I notice right off the bat is how enthusiastic they are about beating their sister up😭😭 like y’all are forgetting that whatever injuries ajaceare gets, ajacent has to deal with. they just don’t fade once she becomes uncorrupted, do they

that’s all I had to say about the first part, since it was surprisingly more boring than I remember

^^^^^^^^

this is my favorite out of the prevs.

the episode starts with ajaceare running like she just got 500$ from her mom and was told she could spend it on anything. dub then asks her how collecting pieces has been going. she pulls out a BIG ASS BAG. if im correct there are 20 artists featured in jsab minus the ones that already gave their pieces and some of them are one timers (avenza, pegboard nerds (iirc), plesco, silva hound, nanobii, TECHNICALLY omnitica, etc etc) so like where did she get all them pieces???

there are multiple theories about who those people could be, but I choose to believe theyre 2/5 out of Shirobon because

THATS A TAIL. AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAS A TAIL? A FOX. AND YOU KNOW WHATS A SONG BY SHIROBON IN JSAB? FOX!!! TOTES DIDNT RUN ON ONE HOUR OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT😃😃😃😃

also, I hope this is just a transition because OTHERWISE HOW DID SHE NOT NOTICE THEM.

one sentence to describe this episode: tri-py.

anyways, onto the next one. you better get your popcorn ready cause im about to RANT.

*cracks knuckles*

and OF COURSE SHES ON A TREE.

why is literally every monster either corrupted or a pacifist in tpc. like YALL GOT FIGHTING SKILLS, USE EM “don’t you know we monsters never attack shapes??” That’s only for YOU, your SAILOR MOON HAVING ASS HAIR LOOKING ELDER SISTER, and “SAILOR MOON”’S BITCHASS BARRACUDA HAVING FRIEND.

girl. im sorry but if I was a monster id be throwing these hands left and right.

“How could you have gotten corrupted like this?” gee idk, maybe a corrupted person touched her!??? Shocking wow “You’re supposed to stay in the mountains like the rest of us!!” bro shes 1000, im pretty sure shes able to not be huddled under u all the time.

“Now give me your pieces!!”

again, this makes

NO.

FUCKING.

SENSE!!!

IF SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT PYRARE, SHE WOULDVE SAID “Give me HIS pieces!” But instead shes saying “Your”.

I don’t know WHY the hell Ajacenus and ajavex would even have pieces, because it’s clear that they don’t have the triangle symbol like every other group member, but even if they did, IT WOULD BE INCOMPLETE BECAUSE AJACENUS IS SUPPOSED TO BE WICKED - AVENZA AND AJAVEX IS DEADLOCKED - F-777!!! SEE HOW ITS TWO DIFFERENT ARTISTS???

AND PLUS, EVEN IF SHE DID JUST MEAN PYRARE, HE WOULDNT HAVE A SINGLE PIECE BECAUSE THEY HAVENT GONE TO THE LAND OF TRIANGLES YET!!!

CAUSE I KNOW DAMN WELL SHE DIDNT FORGET TO ANIMATE THE HAIR DETAILS. I DONT GET WHY THEYRE LEFT OUT OF THIS, THEY COULDVE USED THE SHIELD FROM HER DRESS INSTEAD!!

PYRARE, MOVE!!! QUIT BEING LAZY!!! MOVE YOUR FACE!! DUMBAS-

AND THEN YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO CLAP. BRO.

BROOOO🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

one sentence to describe this episode: BRITTANY COOKED BUT NOBODYS HUNGRY🔥🔥

last and definitely least, is the 4th part. now, the whole video was a bossfight so I don’t have much to say except SHE GOT PUFF PONYTAILS YAAAAAAAAA

I hope she isn’t batshit ugly or I might just remove s2 ep3 part 5 from my consciousness once it comes out

…yeah I had to remove it from my consciousness because WTH is this

“What happened to me?” Girl do you have the big D? (dementia)

HAHAHHH THE STUPID FACE HE MADE IN THE HALLOWEEN SHORT IS BACK, only thing I’m happy about. However…

“It isnt right for a male to hit a female” dude sybau. you throw hands all you want if you feel provoked. pussy.

anyways, onto dub. his section was the only entertaining part. Seeing him tweak like that genuinely made me go “😧” IRL

“Which caretaker is it!? I swear if it’s the anxious one…” made me BUST OUT laughing. Though I do wonder what he would’ve done if the flower lied to him and said it was “the anxious one” who I’m assuming is cube.

“So you decided to come out of retirement?” im curious about this, because… how does he even go into retirement in the first place?

though, I’m gonna talk about three things here.

1. I think (Altered) finally gives us an answer to what Circusic meant in episode 2. “The same way you are!” So we all saw him get revived by the reaper and turn into circubit, so when he says that I can only guess that Iris got revived that same way. You get revived, but with some perks, aka ALTERATIONS.

2. Every flower is infected? That means George is probably back.

3. Circusic is infected??? Either he doesn’t know that hes uncorrupted; or HES BAAAACK!!!!

[missusk]

have you eaten yet? (ArvenxReader)

Summary: You’re everywhere, always, helping everyone all the time because you’re as kind as you are strong. You saved the academy and you saved Paldea and helped him out too, what with those Herba Mystica, so Arven wants to show you how much he loves you give back in the way he does best! Everyone loves homecooked meals, right? So why can’t he spit it out so that’s why the words so often falling from his lips are

“Hey, little buddy! Have you eaten yet?”

Word Count: 6173 Warnings: Game spoilers Author’s Note: this was sprouted from shower thoughts!!! Oughgh I love arven!!!! Just thinking about what your little journey could be like from his perspective AND IF HE WAS FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU .but also has inner conflict bc this guy really needs a hug. please enjoy!! :) - missusk

Read here on Ao3

~~

“Have you eaten yet, Arven?” came a call from the lighthouse.

“No!” the child said enthusiastically, bounding up the dirt hill to his dear father. A Maschiff was hot on his heels, panting alongside the boy after their rigorous game of fetch-and-chase. The sun was beginning to set, with rays of gold glimmering on their toothy smiles.

“Well come on,” Dad chuckled. “Let’s cook together before I have to get back to work.”

“Okay!” Arven replied, giddy with anticipation in what he’d get to cook with his favorite person in the whole wide world. What would it be today? Pasta? Curry? It’s been so long since they last ate together, and now they can cook together too?!

“You didn’t peek at that new book, did you?” Dad asked from the lighthouse. Arven faltered in his run home. Whoops, he didn’t put the storybook away correctly, did he…?

“Uh-“

There came a chuckle, then a tousle of his hair as Arven finally reached the threshold of their small home. Arven clung with sticky fingers to his father’s dress pants in a quick apology.

“Well, that might’ve spoiled it, but let’s read from it together after dinner, shall we?”

“Okay!” Arven said through a now-guiltless grin, kicking off his boots as they walked together into the lab. “Can we have sandwiches?” He hoped that sounded like an innocent, totally random request, and certainly not inspired by a storybook he didn’t steal a glimpse of earlier that day when Dad was busy.

“Of course, my son.”

Those words were so seemingly inconsequential at the time, but as Arven sits drumming his fingers on the doodle-smudged desk, watching the second hand of the clock tick-tick-tick by, he only wished he remembered more of those seemingly inconsequential times. He heaves out a sigh – whatever, those thoughts haven’t gotten him anywhere before, and it’s not like anything would change by thinking about it more today.

“Phones away, please,” came Mr. Saguaro’s voice, interrupting Arven’s hazy sepia-toned memory like a shock of bright blue. “Before we begin class, I’d like to introduce our new transfer student.”

Oh? A new student in this part of the term? That was interesting enough to draw his attention away from missing his dad the hangnail he kept picking at.

Arven glances up, teal gaze meeting that of the new student. He immediately recognizes you as the very same student who took responsibility for that brute back at the lighthouse few days ago. So, you were a student here after all. Perhaps he should be keeping better track of you and Miraidon… but then again, what would that matter? Not like dad would care anything would be traced back to him if a weird looking robot lizard thing was suddenly crawling around Paldea. Lots of weird things happen in Paldea. If anything got back to him, he’d just say, that, like, 80 percent of the ocean was still unexplored, so that’s where it was from. Or something.

Your introduction is normal enough. You like Pokémon, are excited to be here, blah blah blah. Minus the innate talent you had for battling, you seem as average as the next person. Arven did notice your sweet smile, but brushed it off as easily as he would crumbs off his apron.

Well, whatever.

While a new student was seemingly inconsequential to the esteemed Uva Academy, you’d think the hallways had a mass outbreak of Combees with how the students buzzed with rumors about you the next few days.

“I heard she fell off a cliff before coming to the academy.”

“Well I heard she already beat student council president Nemona in a Pokémon battle.”

“I heard she took on Team Star on her first day!”

Even some of the academy’s teachers seemed to be whispering among themselves. While many of the rumors were stupid and mostly untrue from what Arven could tell (as he himself was well acquainted with being the butt of weird rumors) one thing seemed certain – this new student was quite skilled with Pokémon battles. Perhaps his defeat at the lighthouse wasn’t explanatory of his lack of skills, but rather a signifier of yours.

As the days passed and the academy settled into the term, Arven became less aware of the latest gossip and more focused on slowly connecting the numerous sticky notes and push pins scattered on the Paldean map on his dorm room wall. It had taken countless nights of coffee and research and more coffee, all until he was able to identify five locations mentioned in the Violet Book. The only real obstacle would be what the book called ‘Titan Pokémon,’ and with his ace being unable to even open his eyes at this point, he needed some help, fast. Thankfully, while cleaning up in the home ec classroom, another bout of whispers made it to his ears.

“I hear she claimed war against Team Star!”

“What, seriously?!”

Geez, this new girl couldn’t catch a break. He knew the annoyance of having a million rumors about him, so his heart went out to the poor transfer student.

“She transferred in at a weird time, I bet she’s just trying to get people to like her.”

“Oh, that’d make sense. Why else would you do something like that, if not for attention?”

Arven raised an eyebrow. A new, fresh face, wanting attention and affection in a scary new school? In a new country? With no friends and barely any family? Perhaps someone so moldable could help with his own little treasure hunt…

It barely took a day before catching you in the cafeteria. Arven didn’t mean to be so selfish when requesting help, but he also didn’t try to not be selfish when requesting help. He sprinkled in a little flattery, a big smile, and played into your desire to ensure your classmates like you. He spouted some nonsense about loving that picnic life, and more compliments about how you’re such a natural with Pokémon – you’d be perfect to help, so please please please?!

And just as he was hoping, he was able to rope you into helping with those pesky Titan Pokémon.

 ***

 It didn’t take long before you were both in the South Province fighting a Klawf that had no business being that size. You made quick enough work of it, and gloriously enough, the first Herba Mystica was in Arven’s grasp – and soon to be in a delicious sandwich. Step one, done, and it barely took any time! Despite all the prep work he had to do with those news articles and dusty library books to locate it, the actual Titan-beating wasn’t all too bad.

Arven splays out his purple gingham tablecloth, flicks on his lantern, sets out the ingredients, then notices you’re still standing there.

Oh, right, new student girl. You ran all the way out here to find the Titan, and he probably wouldn’t have beaten that giant Klawf with just his Shellder and Squovet, so perhaps some form of payment was due.

“Have you eaten yet?” Arven asks casually, and when you shake your head, he sets his hands on his hips. Alright, easy enough. One five-star sandwich seemed a fair enough trade for your work. “Well, then it’s your lucky day! You’re about to get a taste of my delicious, nutritious, herb-mysticious cooking.”

You smile at that, which for some reason, seems to catch Arven’s gaze for an extra second. Once that second is up, he turns back to his tablecloth filled with sandwich ingredients and gets to work. He slices, he dices, then he hands you a sandwich.

He wonders if you’ll like it.

Then he strikes the thought from his head. Of course you’ll like it! He’s a good cook. Despite that self-reassurance, Arven glances to you a few times, waiting for your reaction to the first bite. Just to see what the Herba Mystica does! Yes, that’s the only reason he’s scanning your features like that. But, despite that herb being the only reason he’s watching you, his brow furrows when that brute of a Pokémon blasts out of its Poké Ball, sniffing away at the sandwich he made for you. His jaw drops when you don’t even hesitate to give it to Miraidon! What the heck?!

“Hey!” Arven bursts out. “I went through all the trouble of making that for you, and you just give it away?! That thing didn’t even taste it, just inhaled it whole!”

You then have the gall to simply shrug. Arven scoffs.

“I hope you realize that’s all there was, so now there’s none left for you.”

“That’s fine,” you say with a smile. There’s that smile again.

“Aw, come on,” Arven sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. It’s fine, he shouldn’t get mad at you. You don’t realize the importance of the ingredients that were in that meal, nor do you know what else Miraidon has stolen from him. “Now you’re making me feel like I’m the selfish jerk here.”

You blink a few times, but when your mouth fumbles for something to say, Arven rips his sandwich in half and holds it out to you.

“Here,” he sighs again. “You can have half of mine. But you’d better savor every last bite.”

You smile again and nod, accepting the sandwich half. He doesn’t bother watching to see if you like it – hmph.

Soon you’re both done with your respective sandwich halves, and he really needs you to get moving so he can do what he really came here for. Maybe if he started to pack up, you’d get the hint. When you motion to help fold the tablecloth, Arven shoos you away. Geez, can’t you be bothered to be selfish for one second? You find the Titan Pokémon, defeat the Titan Pokémon, give away your dinner, and are going to help with the dishes too?!

“Oh, don’t worry about cleaning up, I’ll take care of it,” Arven says. “But I suppose if you want to help, I’d be much obliged if you started looking for the next Herba Mystica.”

And you actually agree.

Arven blinks a few times, returning your wave as you bound off into the night.

Huh.

You’re pretty nice, aren’t you…?

He bites his lip. Maybe you really did just help him out because you’re a good person. He lets out a sigh.

“I really owe you one,” he mutters to himself, as he pulls the Poké Ball out of his bag. Though he knows you’ve already left, he glances around just in case. His thoughts fully turn to what he really came here for. “Okay, the coast is clear. You can come out now.”

 ***

 “Did you get a good look at its face, though? I didn’t expect a Titan to be such a li’l cutie!” Arven says. He wants to call you a li’l cutie, what with how sweet and shiny your little smile was, but he settles for calling you his little buddy instead. He prepares four sandwiches, and when you raise an eyebrow at him, Arven feels a hint of red seep into his cheeks.

“O-one is to-go,” he lies. “And the other one, uh…”

You add a smirk to your raised eyebrow, and his blush deepens despite himself.

“I definitely, absolutely, did not make extra so that brute could have a sandwich, okay?” he huffs. You respond with a sarcastic ‘mmhmm’, which for some reason makes his insides twist.

Miraidon inhales the stupid sandwich whole, again, but at least he got to catch your expression after your first bite this time. You seem to like it. That’s a relief.

“Wow, this is really good Arven!” you enthuse with your shiny little smile and crumbs on your cheeks, and that makes his insides twist even tighter. Usually he’d simply agree and move on with his life, so he’s not sure why time seems to snag when he’s around you.

While he’s searching for something to say, suddenly Arven’s composure cracks when Miraidon goes for the last sandwich.

He can’t have that.

He CANNOT HAVE THAT.

“That’s not for you!” he bursts out, causing you and Miraidon to jump as his shout fades from the cave walls. Miraidon shirks back as Arven quickly snatches the sandwich from the plate. Your eyes are wide, and there’s a small pang of guilt tugging at his gut for being the reason for that fear on your face.

“I, sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled,” Arven says meekly. When you don’t say anything, just nod after a moment, he bites the inside of his cheek.

As the last echo of ‘he can’t have that’ finally fades from his mind, Arven lets out a sigh. He calculates and derives and estimates, but finally thinks that maybe… maybe it would be fine. If you knew.

Arven didn’t have any intention of sharing his deep dark backstory, but he supposes he could share with you. He kind of wants you to know, maybe it would be more bearable to not be the only one holding onto this pain. You deserve to know, now that you’ve helped him out thus far.

So, he lets Mabosstiff out of his Poké Ball. He shares what happened, and you listen intently. He can’t seem to meet your gaze, for some reason. Would you call him stupid? Unimportant? Would you leave him too?

“He’s the only thing that I really care about.”

The words slip so quietly from his lips, as gently and inconsequentially as water melts from a frozen branch when the backdrop is the sun. He isn’t sure what else to say, or why he said so much. He nearly jumps out of his skin when you suddenly pat his arm – a little awkwardly – and say,

“I’ll help.”

He meets your gaze. The intensity in your eyes is as fiery and as bright as cloudless dawn. Now it makes more sense why everyone talks about you, why everyone wants to be around you.

“I’ll help you,” you repeat. “I’ll help you find the rest of the Herba Mystica.”

It’s not that Arven ever bothers to hide who he really is (he’s been called weird and strange many times), and yet that hardened something within him seems to crack when you look at him like that, when you say something like that.

“Thank you,” is all he can manage to reply.

You nod, removing your hand from his sleeve.

Thank you… he repeats in his mind. Thank you. How can he thank you? What does gratitude look like? What does care look like? What does importance look like?

“H-have you eaten?” Arven asks suddenly, eyes flicking between yours.

You smile, eyebrow raised again. Did he say something stupid? Have you ever stood this close before?

“Um, yeah,” you say. Oh. “I just ate your sandwich.”

Oh yeah.

“Oh yeah.”

You blink. Arven blinks. Have you always had those little freckles on your nose?

“R-right!” he finally spits out. “W-well let’s get on it then, yeah? Only three more to go!”

He flashes a shiny smile at you, unsure of why his heart is pounding so fast, nor why his skin seems to tingle where you touched.

 ***

 “Ever since I teamed up with you, good things keep happening!” Arven exclaims, jumping up and down. That makes you laugh – the first time he’s heard it – and now he kind of wants to do everything he can to make you laugh again.

So he jokes and he’s a little more weird than normal and it works. It works, and he smiles because it works, and he smiles because you smile. He smiles and you smile and Mabosstiff is smiling too. It’s weak, and it’s small, but it’s the most uplifting thing he’s seen in a long time. This is the most he’s smiled in such a long time, and a lot of it is thanks to you.

“Thank you,” Arven says, suddenly gripping your hands in his. He can’t help it, he can’t help the joy that’s spilling out of every pore. “So much, thank you!”

“Y-you’re welcome,” you reply bashfully, a bit of red staining your cheeks. He wonders why you’re blushing, and it isn’t until your hands fidget in his that he realizes how close you are. Your hands are so small in his, he wonders how long you’ll let you hold them.

“Oh, sorry,” he says, quickly releasing your hands, yet still reveling in the deep blush in your cheeks.

“That’s okay,” you stutter. “I-I’m glad Mabosstiff is feeling better.”

“Me too,” Arven says. “Only two more to go.”

 ***

 It was just meant to be a brief glance your way to make a silly joke about the Stony Cliff Titan and the Klawf sticks he was putting in this sandwich, but Arven’s breath catches when he sees you in a quiet moment.

You seem so… tired, the way your head so delicately leans against that beast, the way your eyelashes flutter closed in what you think is a private moment of reprieve. Your shoulders slump, and Arven wonders how heavy that backpack is that you’ve been carrying.

His brow furrows when he wonders how heavy your shoulders feel with everything you’re carrying. Tackling the gyms, always battling that psycho student council girl, whatever it was you’re doing with Team Star, then keeping up with your actual studies, all on top of having just moved here…

His hands pause.

And here you are, donating your time and talents to a guy you barely knew.

He chews on his cheek, trying to figure out what to say. How could he help someone like you? Someone so kind and capable and kind of beautiful, he’s just now noticing? You really are just helping him because you’re a good person – what’s in it for you? He shoved off a practically useless Pokémon onto you, and you just took it in stride. At least it can glide now, apparently. Arven drums his fingers on the tablecloth, watching your chest rise and fall with each slow breath. The lamplight catches the color in your eyes, and Arven wonders again if you’ve always been this beautiful.

He's not sure why his cheeks feel warmer, now that you’ve caught him staring.

“Hey, uh,” Arven coughs out, eyes flicking back to his hands. “Have you eaten yet?”

You shake your head, eyes flitting towards the sandwiches on the table.

“Here, this one’s on the house then,” Arven says, smiling and handing you a sandwich.

You take it, smile shining as you chirp out a ‘Thanks!’ like a little bird. It makes him smile too.

“Just don’t give it to that brute,” he added with a grunt.

“No promises,” you say, and that earns you a roll of the eyes.

He’s not sure what else to say, he just knows he wants to keep talking to you. He’s not one to often get tongue-tied, so he’s not sure why it so often happens around you. You barely take a bite of the sandwich before your Rotom phone suddenly rings.

“Hey, Cassiopeia here,” came a tinny voice. “How’s Operation Starfall going?”

“Um,” you reply. Your shoulders are stiff.

“Not that there’s a time limit, but the sooner we can finish off the last three, the better… Since you’ve only gotten through two so far…”

There’s a tense silence for a moment.

“I-I was just on my way to the next base,” you spit out.

“Great to hear, I’ll be in contact when you’re close.”

“Okay,” you say simply, and start gathering your things. “I’ll be there soon.”

“I’m counting on you.”

Arven’s not sure why his heart drops. Maybe it’s how guiltily you set the sandwich back onto its plate. Maybe it’s how rigidly you sling your backpack onto your shoulders. Maybe it’s how stiffly your hands brush off the lackadaisical crumbs from your shirt.

“I should get going,” you say.

And maybe his heart was on his sleeve more than he intended, because his expression makes you pause.

“O-or I could stay?” you say suddenly.

“What?”

“Do you, um,” you stammer. “I could stay? For a little bit longer? You just, um. You seemed sad.”

“No! No, that’s okay, you should get going,” he says. “Well, unless you want to?”

He wished he hadn’t asked, because he doesn’t like the thick pause that comes afterwards.

“O-or, you shou-“

“I should go-“ you say in unison.

Your eyes meet for another moment. Arven clears his throat.

“Just don’t forget about that last Titan!” he says, forcing a smile on his face. “I’m counting on you, little buddy!”

You pause, and something in your expression shifts. You don’t say another word when you hoist your backpack higher on your shoulders, then head out into the desert sand. As soon as you leave, Arven practically deflates, slumping onto the boulder beside Mabosstiff.

He’s heard you mention this operation before, but suddenly his skin prickles in frustration, especially when picturing your expression upon leaving. Why are you the one who has to do everything? Why are you the one that has to take down what’s basically an entire student rebellion? What are the academy’s faculty even bothering to do about Team Star?! Why do you have to leave him because of it?

…But then again, why are you the one that has to tackle the Titans for him? Arven rubs his hands over his face.

“I wonder how often she hears that,” Arven wonders aloud, patting Mabosstiff on the head, who lets out a curious grunt. “’I’m counting on you,’ I mean. People always need her for stuff. She shouldn’t have all of that pressure on her.”

Mabosstiff just grunts again.

He’s so close to the last Herba Mystica, and the herbs really are helping Mabosstiff, so he still needs your help… but…

Arven lets out another thoughtful sigh.

But maybe after that… he could… do something for you? Or something. Just… something to make you smile again. Or smile more. Or just something to help ease that slump in your shoulders.

You are his little buddy, after all.

 ***

 You’re both soaking wet and shivering from the False Dragon Titan, then the other False Dragon Titan, then from the storm outside the cave, but you’re both smiling. It was maybe a little too early to play some hardcore fetch, but Mabosstiff had been romping around the cave for a while. Arven said it was just the rain, but he knew you didn’t believe him when the tears kept pouring.

His tear tracks have since dried, and Mabosstiff and Miraidon are snoozing beside the makeshift fire he started. The storm doesn’t seem like it’ll be letting up anytime soon, but Arven doesn’t really mind since you look really pretty in the light of the fire you both could use a rest after felling the final Titan. You’ll get to the lighthouse lab soon enough, as Dad requested, but right now it was nice to just… sit. Alone with you.

“Are you cold?” he asks, and just as you knew when he was lying about him crying, he knows you’re lying when you shake your head. He rolls his eyes and pulls his winter jacket out of his backpack, draping it over your shoulders. “At least this is dry.”

You mutter out a sheepish ‘thank you’, and Arven nods, smiling lightly at how his coat practically swallows you whole.

“I should be the one thanking you,” he says as you adjust the coat around you. “For your help.”

Maybe it’s the euphoria of his best friend feeling healthy again, or maybe it’s the subdued atmosphere of the cave’s thick air, or maybe it’s some third thing, that Arven lets slip something he would usually keep hidden.

“You mean a lot to me,” he says suddenly. He’s not quite sure what he’s saying, or why he’s saying it. “Thank you, really.”

“You’re welcome,” you say, smile forming on your lips. You’re so cute in his coat. He wonders if you’re any warmer.

You sit in a peaceful silence, save the rain outside and the crackling of the fire. You rustle when you pull his coat tighter around your shoulders.

“If you’re still cold, I-I could, uh,” he stammers, words still spilling from his mouth like melting snow. He could what? His voice catches. “I could…”

I could hold you

I could hold you close to me

I could help keep you warm

“M-make you something else to eat? Something warm?” he finally spits out.

“That spicy Herba Mystica was more than warm enough,” you chuckle. “But thank you, Arven.”

His name sounds so sweet when it slips from your lips like that.

He isn’t able to revel in it long before your Rotom phone sounds its familiar ring.

“Hey! Where are you at now?” came the tinny voice.

“Lake Casseroya,” you say. ‘With Arven’ is what he wants you to add.

“How’s your gym circuit going? You’re so close! You should head to Montenevera next, I’m actually headed that way myself!”

“Okay, I’ll meet you there,” you say, and Arven’s brow furrows.

“Great! I’m counting on you!”

The click of the phone is a click of closure as you shake off Arven’s jacket with a quiet sigh.

You both stand, and you turn, just for Arven to catch your hand.

“Are you okay?” he asks, and your eyes widen at the question. “How have you been faring?”

Your eyes immediately well with tears – an expression that tightens Arven’s chest, that swirls guilt in his gut. The glassiness in your eyes formed their sheen as quickly as the rain hits the lake outside. How long have your tears been barely at bay?

Oh, little buddy… how could he have not even bothered to ask this until now? His brow furrows when you tear your gaze from his to look at a new text on your phone.

“N-Nemona is waiting for me,” you say suddenly. “She wants to be champions together s-so I have to… I want her to be happy. She needs my help. I’ll meet you at the lab afterwards.”

And with that you push his coat into his chest and run out of the cave, and Arven can only watch your retreating silhouette until its melds with the pouring rain.

His fists clench, heat welling within him.

That stupid student council girl, what was her name? It didn’t matter, but what mattered is how his chest tightened when someone’s stolen you away from him yet again. Didn’t she realize the world doesn’t revolve around Pokémon battles?! Did you even want to be a champion, or are you just doing the gym circuit because Nemona said you should? Had she ever even asked?

His heart dropped.

Had he ever even asked…?

Had he ever even asked about what the treasure was that you were looking for? Had he ever asked what was important to you? You’re running errands for everyone in Paldea, and his dad too, apparently, but was any of it anything you even wanted?

He wanted to think of you, of how to help you, but the thought of his father welled an overwhelming wave of anxiety in his chest. He had to be selfish for a little longer, at your expense. He pinches the bridge of his nose, patting Mabosstiff when he rests his head on Arven’s lap. This was supposed to be everything he wanted – his Pokémon was the only thing he cared about. But now with you and with Dad and with Area Zero…

Arven heaves out a deep sigh, as heavy as Lake Casseroya itself.

 ***

 It’s time. He’s collected Nemona and Penny, and now he just needs you before heading to Area Zero. Mabosstiff is barking away, jumping at his phone at the sound of your voice, but it just makes Arven’s chest tight.

 ***

 The student council president and the pipsqueak are snoozing soundly inside while you and Arven forage for snacks. Nemona was trying to secretly nurse an injury, but her suspicious lack of stamina didn’t go unnoticed by him. Penny wasn’t used to the treacherous landscape either, so spending the night in the third base of Area Zero seemed like a wise move. They had an incredibly strong team between the four of them, so there were plenty of Pokémon to keep watch while they slept and while you foraged close by.

“Do you need a break?” you ask.

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” Arven replies, sighing as he stands straight. His back cracks as he leans backwards far enough to see the sky – or rather, the layer of fog that separated this world from the rest of Paldea.

The air between you has been tense since the final Titan, and Arven knows it’s mostly his fault. Maybe he feels guilty. Maybe he’s scared. Maybe he's had every emotion coursing through his veins and beating through his heart for the past few days. There’s you and his dad and… well, mainly that was it. But there were so many combinations of those two things, of those two people, that made his head feel like radio static the entire time he’s been in this forsaken place.

“Do you want to go back in?” you ask, stepping over to him. Your skin and eyes seem to glow as glitter floats around you. He wishes you weren’t so beautiful.

“No, it smells like mildew in there,” Arven says, snacking on a Sitrus berry he found.

There’s another tense pause between you.

“Arven,” you say suddenly. He feels like when Mabosstiff eats off the counter when he shouldn’t – he can barely look at you, but he does.

He wishes he hadn’t. While you don’t have the bags under your eyes like you used to, the sorrow in your gaze cracks his heart even further.

“Arven are you mad at me?” you ask, so brokenly.

“What?” he breathes out. “No, of course not, why would you think that?”

“You just… you’ve been distant. And distracted, I don’t know,” you say.

“I just have a lot on my mind, it’s not you,” he says. Only one of those things was a lie.

“You’re right, you’re right,” you say quickly, shaking your head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be selfish.”

“You’re not!” Arven blurts out. “You’re not selfish, don’t say that. You’re the least selfish person I know, honest.”

You shrug, and before he can stop himself, Arven is stepping towards you, gripping your shoulders in his hands.

“I mean it,” Arven says. “This has just been…”

The worst few days of my life

My dad loves you more than me

My dad loves Miraidon more than me

I’m scared of seeing my dad.

“I’m scared of seeing my dad,” he says.

He didn’t realize he had said it.

What is it about you that loosens his tongue like this? You’re confusion and clarity all in one.

“Arven,” you say again, and the determination in your voice draws him closer to you like a magnet. “Whatever happens,” you say, emotion catching in your throat. “Whatever happens I’ll be here for you, okay? I won’t leave you. I hope you can make amends with your dad but… but whatever happens I’m here for you.”

His heart can barely beat, as shattered as it is, and yet you try to mold it back together as you wrap your arms around him.

 ***

 “H-hey,” you say, gently closing the door behind you. Mabosstiff bolts off the bed to greet you, which is just enough distraction for Arven to wipe the tears from his face. In his defense, Mabosstiff hasn’t seen you since the events of Area Zero. When you finally manage to push the Pokémon off of you, you make your way to Arven, then gently sit beside him on the bed.

“Hi,” Arven replies thickly, trying to discreetly shove the bundles of tissues beneath his bed.

“How are you doing?” you ask. He wishes you wouldn’t look at him like that, with such genuine care in your eyes. When you so delicately set your hand on his arm, immediately everything comes flooding back – the memories and the feelings and the tears, so overwhelming that all he can do is turn to you, to fall into your arms, to sob into your shoulder as you wrap your arms around him.

Everything. The loneliness, the pain, the betrayal, the abandonment. What was he to his father? What was he to anyone? Was there anyone who cared? If his own mother left when he was born and his father left years ago too, who was he but a lump of rotting meat, just taking up space in a world so hastily moving towards the future?

He isn’t sure how long he’s crying into your shirt, nor how long you’ve been rubbing his back as you sit on his bed. Mabosstiff’s head is resting beside him, and Arven sniffles when he pushes his cold nose under Arven’s hand.

“I’m here for you,” you mumble into his hair, and Arven can barely manage a nod. You don’t seem to mind.

More time has passed, where now you’re cradling him in your arms, leaned against the wall beside his bed. The window is cracked, letting in the cool breeze of dusk. He pushes himself off of you, surprised to see your eyes are red too. You stare at one another, unsure of what to say. He rests his head on top of yours, since now your shoulder is soaked with tears. You sit there, beside one another, until dusk pulls into the night. Arven eye’s flutter open when you clear your throat.

What will you say? ‘Get over it’? ‘You should be proud to have a father like him’? ‘It’s no big deal’? How will you frame your sentence to hide the fact that the world lost his father, rather than the fact that he lost his father?

“Um, h-have you eaten yet?” you ask.

Has.

Has he

Has he eaten yet?

Arven blinks.

Has he…

He shakes his head.

“I brought some sandwiches,” you say. He nods, and you wiggle out from your spot on his bed and over to your bag. “They’re not as good as yours, of course, but I thought I’d try my hand at a new recipe.”

He meets you at the edge of the bed, where you hand off a sandwich. You got one for Mabosstiff, because of course you did, and when you look at him with such kind, hopeful eyes, Arven isn’t quite sure what to say.

“I know you’ve been through so much,” you say. “But you’ve got people who care about you and want to be there for you!”

You smile at him – that small, shiny smile, and Arven’s breath catches in his throat.

Thank you

This means so much to me

I feel so seen

So cared about

You’re so thoughtful

“I love you,” he says.

And something finally clicks.

That’s what this is – love.

You’re attentive and kind and you’re there for him. You’re here. You’re here, right now, holding him, and you have been for hours at this point. For days, for weeks.

You’re here.

You’re here, and, and, and and you help him and you think about him and he doesn’t have to beg for your attention and and… and.

“And you’re everything I’ve needed,” Arven says through a wet sniffle. His words are pouring out like a snowy peak’s river – building strength the further it travels, the further it warms. “I’ve been through a lot and you’ve been through a lot but you’re there for me and you help me and I want to help you and when I’m around you I feel supported and I think you’re so beautiful and-“

Arven keeps listing, and listing, and revealing every thought he’s crossed out in his mind until Mabosstiff lets out a whine, reminding him to breathe. Arven sucks in a breath, closes his mouth, eyes wide, now realizing that while he’s finally realized it to himself, he’s now realized it out loud to you.

“I love you,” he says again. “Sorry – was that? Was that a lot?” he sniffles.

And your smile isn’t like the sunset of a sepia-toned memory, but like the bright clear dawn of home and of comfort and of knowing that you’ll always be there. You lean in and press a gentle kiss to his cheek – it’s a little sloppy, and a little wet, but neither of you seem to mind.

“I love you too,” you say simply. “Now lets eat before the sandwich bread gets any soggier… or before you get any soggier.”

“Gross,” Arven says, smiling a free, warm, genuine smile for the first time in days. In years. As you head towards your bag, he risks another question. “Maybe after dinner, we could read something together? Or watch a movie or something? Just…just be together?”

“I’d love nothing more,” you say with that shiny smile as bright as the dawn. “Than to always be here, together with you.”

[twistedminutia]

Twst Talk: Hometown Events

This is more or less just me rambling about the hometown events and who might get one next (and who it might include.) This post will include spoilers for hometown have events that have not been announced on the EN server yet, so if that’s not something you want to see, stop reading now!

So far, we have gotten hometown events for Epel, Kalim and Jamil, Leona, and Deuce. These events have taken us to the Shaftlands, the Scalding Sands, the Sunset Savannah, and the Queendom of Roses. The only major continent we haven’t visited yet is the Sunshine Lands/Kingdom of Heroes (plus the Land of the Dawning, if you don’t count Sage Island as a part of that island already) and that seems to be the only continent we don’t have students from. These are also all lands that seem to be the most ‘accessible’ for lack of a better word. Briar Valley is the homeland of the fae, and it seems to generally be isolated, and the Coral Sea is, of course, underwater, necessitating the use of potions to go there.

Now, it’s possible that these aren’t going to be our next hometown events. In theory, we still could get events for characters like Vil or Cater, who live in the Shaftlands but not in Harveston, or Riddle and Trey, who live in the Queendom of Roses, but not Clock Town. Idia and Ortho are also wild cards in this, because we technically visited their hometown in Book 6 and it’s also supposed to be secret, so it’s not like they’re inviting friends over on the reg. Though I suppose this could also be handwaved if it happens post Book 6 by saying the students know about it already… but regardless, I think it’s likely TWST will cover all major areas of Twisted Wonderland before doubling back.

So if either the Coral Sea or Briar Valley are on the roster next, which one is first? Well, my money is for the Coral Sea. If the event comes out prior to the conclusion of Book 7, then it makes sense for it to steer clear of Briar Valley for potential spoiler reasons, or for the other reason I think they’ll hold off on the BV hometown event even if Book 7 is completed by then: they probably will want to take some time off of the Diasomnia focus so people don’t get too fatigued by it. I think having Book 7 AND a Briar Valley event at the same time or back to back would be too much at once.

Looking at the Coral Sea event, then, our next thought is: who’s going? Obviously, one of our Octavinelle boys is in. Jade is the least likely, since he’s already been in a hometown event (though this doesn’t rule him out entirely, since Kalim has been in his own hometown event and Leona’s hometown event). That leaves Azul and Floyd. My guess is for Azul. He’s popular, this would be a good event to show off his merform, and I have a hard time seeing Floyd going on his own to the Coral Sea and leaving Jade on land. However, I could also see Jade and Floyd going together without Azul.

Who would the guests be? Well, let’s look at who hasn’t been to a hometown event yet. People who have been in the events so far are: Epel, Idia, Jade, Sebek, Jamil, Kalim, Cater, Trey, Malleus, Leona, Vil, Jack, Lilia, Deuce, Ortho, Silver. Epel and Kalim have both been in two hometown events, one as host and one as guest, which makes them doubly unlikely to be picked. People who haven’t been in hometown events so far are: Ace, Riddle, Ruggie, Azul, Floyd, and Rook. Adding people who have only hosted (and are therefore still eligible to be guests in someone else’s hometown event) gives us Jamil, Leona, and Deuce. Not a massive list. Interestingly, Ignihyde and Diasomnia are the only dorms to have all of their members be guests in hometown events.

What does this sample tell us about the rules of hometown event guests? Well, there are always four to five people in every hometown event (four in Harveston and Clock Town, five in Tamashina-mina and the Scalding Sands.) It also seems like hosting your own hometown event doesn’t prevent you from being a guest in someone else’s, but being a guest in someone’s hometown even prevents you from being a guest elsewhere. This is probably not a hard and fast rule and is more to prevent card spreads from being too uneven. This also means that, because Azul and Floyd have been in no hometown events so far, they could both host their own event and be in the Briar Valley event back to back.

So potential guests for the Coral Sea hometown event are Ace, Deuce, Riddle, Ruggie, Leona, Jamil, and Rook. Anyone who gets picked for the Coral Sea event will not be picked for the Briar Valley event too, and there are seven options, so it seems to me that anyone who isn’t going to the Coral Sea will go to Briar Valley.

Now, these opinions aren’t really meant to be predictive so much as they are meant to just be, well, my opinions. Personally, I’d like to see Riddle in the Coral Sea event, along with Ace. Riddle because I think it would be hilarious if Floyd was hosting, and Ace because I think it would be fun to have a callback to Book 3, where he pretends to be a fan of merfolk. As for Briar Valley, I think Leona and Deuce would be good choices. Leona because, again, I think it would be funny if Malleus is hosting, and Deuce because he has a relatively positive relationship with Malleus in canon, and I think it would be cool to see him in Briar Valley. Admittedly both of these ideas rest on Malleus hosting, but I do still like the idea of them going to Briar Valley no matter who the host is.

I don’t have strong feelings about Rook, Jamil, or Ruggie. I lean Coral Sea for Jamil, if only because I think it’s funny when he interacts with Azul, and for Ruggie bc I just can’t see him being comfortable in Briar Valley. He knows when he’s outmatched. That puts Rook in Briar Valley. I’d like to give a preemptive apology to all the fae he is already hunting.

Speaking of Briar Valley, who’d host that event? In my mind, it’s a tossup between Malleus and Sebek. Yes, anyone from Diasomnia has an equal shot at the position, since they’ve all been in one event already, but Lilia and Silver strike me as the people with the least reason to go back to Briar Valley. They only have each other and Malleus, all of which are at school. Theoretically, Lilia could be called back for some kind of general duties, but unless he’s going with someone else, I don’t see him taking a bunch of classmates with him for that.

Malleus and Sebek both have decent reasons to need to return to the Valley. Malleus could have any number of princely duties to attend to, and might want to invite some friends along. Sebek has his family, who might call him home for any number of reasons. In my mind, Sebek is actually the most likely option for this reason, though this may also be because I think the character most likely to be introduced in a Briar Valley hometown event is Sebek’s dad. (No, no, hear me out- I know we want Maleficia, but I think she’s too important a character to introduce in a hometown event AND Leona’s hometown event is the only one to introduce a male character so far IT ALL FITS.) I could also see Malleus and Sebek hosting the event together, with Malleus leaving the guests in Sebek’s hands as he tends to his duties.

This was a long, rambling post that more or less sums up my thoughts on what might be coming up in the TWST hometown events. Agree? Disagree? I want to know what you guys think! Let me know!

[linklethehistorian]

Linkle’s Fazbear Frights & Lore Insights #2: To Be Beautiful

[Read the general disclaimer and important notes for this series of articles here.]

[View the Masterlist of all completed articles here.]

Some To Be Beautiful specific notes:

I will be discussing the graphic novel version of this story to a limited degree, which as per ‘Frights Fiction’, would be a graphic novel in the in-universe canon, based on the book by the same title, just as it is in our world. If you don’t want spoilers, stop here.

I will also be discussing, to an even more limited degree, the Silver Eyes trilogy, but the things I will be talking about are major spoilers, so this is also your spoiler warning for that.

I will be briefly talking about one of the mini-games in the game version of Into the Pit which revolves around To Be Beautiful, and in general, discussions about the book version and my thoughts on it in my previous article are quite likely to come up during one particular part of my lore relevancy section, so if you want to completely avoid Into the Pit spoilers, maybe hold off on this one for now.

Apart from where I feel it relevant, I won’t be doing a deep-dive into the changes between the book and the graphic novel, since they are both fictional media within the FNAF universe, and thus the retcons and changes mostly have no value in the discussion of the lore or canon. If someone else wants to scream about how they got so much wrong because they feel the book was done dirty or something, I absolutely encourage you to go write your own article! But this isn’t about that.

My takes on William as a father, in regards to the games, may ruffle more than a few feathers of people who still insist on holding onto some of the old fanon stuff/do not believe in Frights Fiction. I will be briefly discussing why, but seriously if you don’t like it and won’t go into it with an open mind, please just don’t read it; I’m not really in the mental state to go through a thousand comments trying to convince me of a notion that I simply don’t personally feel has any logical evidence behind it.

Now with that out of the way, let’s get below the cut and get talking! This is your last spoiler warning for all forms of To Be Beautiful, so if you want to turn back, do so now.

Has everyone who wanted to leave yet left? Yeah? Good. Okay, let’s get going, then.

Overall Impressions

The Book:

I know that in my last post regarding Into the Pit, I said that some of the writing style choices made definitely weren’t for me, and that’s still true, but honestly, as I’m listening to this story a third time to make sure I haven’t missed anything I want to cover (and have read several other stories in between doing so), I have to admit I’ve gotten very used to the formatting by now, and it really isn’t as much of a pet peeve as it used to be — which is undoubtedly good, since I have a good many more volumes to go through in order to catch up to date in covering them all.

As for To Be Beautiful’s plot, as much as it pains me to say this, I honestly like this one a little bit better than Into The Pit, and I’m not even completely sure I can put into words why, except perhaps that, while I was very glad Into the Pit did have its surprisingly happy ending with both Oswald and his Dad’s survival, the original book version also felt very anticlimactic in terms of anything actually happening after the initial glimpse of the Yellow Thing’s murders, all the way up until the abrupt point where Oswald’s Dad was immediately pulled out of the pit as soon as Oswald arrived back at Jeff’s Pizza, and the Yellow Thing attacked and was hanged.

With To Be Beautiful, the slow buildup of suspense and horror, to me, is much more compelling and ultimately pays off much better when Sarah’s decisions have finally their tragic and irrevocable consequences. I think that if Into the Pit had had that same kind of buildup or at least a longer and more suspenseful struggle at the end before the payoff, I might have actually preferred that one more, as the backdrop of that one is much more up my usual alley, but it didn’t, and so To Be Beautiful has to rank higher on the list.

I do find it odd that, even with how strong the seemingly implied message is that you shouldn’t waste time trying to appeal to people who will only like you if you meet superficial criteria, Mason Blair is strangely given a complete pass for never noticing Sarah until she was hotter, as the story never gives any indication of him being shallow in any way after that initial bit of shallowness and presents him as a good and wonderful person through and through in all other scenes that we see him (unlike the Beautifuls), but I suppose maybe that isn’t a flaw in the writing so much as a realistic acknowledgement that sometimes people who are good overall can just make bad judgements and be a bit petty — I just wanted to mention it nonetheless.

That observation aside, the characters seem to suit the roles they are meant to fulfill well enough; they’re definitely far from my favorite characters in the FNAF series as a whole, but they’re serviceable enough, and I’m sure there are many people in the world who can empathize with Sarah’s struggles with loving or even liking her body.

The Graphic Novel:

Well, first of all, I will say right out the gate that between this and the book, I definitely by far prefer the original book; for as much credit as I tried to give this adaption of the story whilst reading it, I really couldn’t see more than a single upside to viewing this version of the story instead of the book, and that single upside — the ability to see a possible glimpse at what the characters looked like — did not in any way make up for all that was lost in translation enough to warrant viewing it as a viable alternative, or even all that much worth seeing as a supplemental piece to the book, since it contradicts it so much and lacks such an incredible amount of the punch that its source material had.

To name just a few of the changes I caught onto while reading it:

The characterization of Abby, Sarah’s best friend, is slightly different here, as while during the conversation of what Abby used to do to her Barbies when she and Sarah used to play with them felt slightly more like a testament to Abby’s unique fashion sense and tastes in the book, in the graphic novel, Sarah outright states that Abby tortured her Barbies instead of describing the unconventional ways she styled them that didn’t adhere to normal beauty standards. Maybe it’s just me, but that felt like a swing and a miss, when we consider the overall implied message of the story.

Several events were skipped, like Sarah’s ice cream date with Mason, completely re-ordered or just completely altered, like Eleanor waking up immediately by accident when Sarah first takes her home and looks at her, Sarah not tipping her hand that she knew who Mason Blair was when he introduced himself to her, or just being honest with the Beautifuls about what her Mom does and getting disapproving looks.

Perhaps the worst change of all, though, in my opinion, was the change at the very end of the story where, as Sarah is falling apart into a pile of junk, instead of just the narration of her regretful thought, she laments openly that “Abby was right”, and Eleanor turns to her and agrees, “Abby was right about a lot of things”; to me, this unanimous commentary happening between both characters is far too on-the-nose about the ultimate moral of the story, and that lack of subtlety in a story that is already quite clear enough about its message without needing to have both its main characters say it aloud is actually rather detrimental to its overall integrity and enjoyability.

A good story should not have to slap you in the face with its message completely verbatim in order to be able to get that message across; the story should not feel like it stops and makes every character on-screen break the fourth wall to stare you in the face and tell you directly and heavy-handedly what you are supposed to take away from it, and that is what this version of the ending feels like: an open bout of preaching — and, whether they agree with the message wholeheartedly or not, almost no one particularly likes being bluntly preached to by a piece of fiction.

And, on top of all of that, the fact of the matter is that the one upside this medium had wasn’t even really taken advantage of in the way that it should have been:

Despite all the muss and fuss about how ugly and obnoxious of a green Sarah’s hair was when she dyed it, it doesn’t even really look that way except for in the panel(s) at the hair salon — mostly looking a very pale and hardly noticeable slightly greenish yellow in the majority of panels after her escapade.

Sarah’s chest, for all her complaints of it being completely flat, doesn’t really come across so in the artwork of her before her transformation into being more shapely, and instead just makes it look like she wanted it bigger than it already was rather than wanting it just noticeable at all.

The colors and designs of many things, too, seem quite different than how they are described in the novel, with the most noticeable example being that the necklace Eleanor gives Sarah is now gold instead of silver, and that, for whatever strange reason, Eleanor’s eyes don’t seem to be green at all and rather mostly look a plain empty grey until the fifth day, instead of starting out as such as they did in the book.

All in all, although the artwork itself is certainly serviceable and cute enough, there are just a lot of strange choices I don’t really appreciate being made here, and losing Sarah’s inner monologue, when the book is practically written from her point of view (albeit in third person), is such a detriment in combination with all of these things that it really wasn’t worth the trade-off.

Lore Relevancy

Well, having long since read the entire book, I quite expect this to be the longest entry I have in this particular volume of Fazbear Frights, so let’s not waste any time mincing words and just jump straight into it, shall we?

The Lies and Half-truths

As always, before we can get into what the book is trying to say, we should start by trying to rule out what it definitely or at least almost certainly isn’t; now, unlike Into the Pit, which was so closely tied to the actual main game series’ canon that we could easily rule out what could or couldn’t be true, To Be Beautiful, unfortunately, does not have any overt one-to-one tie to any canon mainline game continuity events, so this process is naturally going to be a little bit harder and take a lot more guesswork, but still, I do feel that we can make at least a few fairly educated assessments.

Firstly, unlike with Into the Pit, the game version of which gives me pause to consider that Oswald and his Dad might to some extent actually be based on real people that exist within the FNAF universe, even if what happened to them was entirely or mostly made-up — what with the Freddy Mask implying Oswald’s Dad might be “Freddy Bully”, one of Michael’s childhood friends — I am fairly confident, at least at the time of writing this, that Sarah and everyone within her story do not actually exist beyond potentially being a metaphor and/or stand-in for someone else already well-established within the main games’ canon (more on this later).

My reasoning for this is mostly that, well, not only is it unlikely and way overcomplicating things to say that every single character in every Fazbear Frights story must have a separate counterpart in the real world of FNAF, even when they don’t seem to have anything particularly hinting at it, but also…I simply don’t believe that Eleanor truly exists, either, and I know that may be a hot take for some but, hey, there it is.

At the time of writing this — and granted, that could change at some point in the future, since I know she’s going to return several times — I believe that Eleanor is nothing more than a) a stand-in for Circus Baby/Scrap Baby/post-death Elizabeth in general, b) a convenient method by which to further explore the concept of the Power of Wills and Wishes™️ (there is a better name for this in the future, but this is just my placeholder name for it until we get to talking about Fetch), and c) the main antagonist this in-universe fictional series focuses on instead of William/Springtrap (+ variants).

Now, did the method by which Eleanor kills Sarah actually claim someone’s life somewhere in the mainline canon? Does her seeming “magic” actually exist in some form? …Well, sort of, yes; it’s a half-truth, really, with enough details changed to distance itself from the actual happenings while still being able to use some of the most horrific and mystifying parts about them — exactly as you’d expect from a company trying to discredit and make light of real-world events.

But, seeing as those very things tie so heavily into the things I want to discuss regarding what I think the book is trying to say, we’ll get to the nitty-gritty of that later in the next section.

For now, I think we’ve covered everything that can be covered here, so let’s move on.

The Truths and the Likely-Truths

So…from now on, though obviously this section will continue to be where I discuss all things that I think were borrowed in-universe from the real life events of the main canon and/or which could have some relevance there, I will be more properly splitting this up into two sub-sections: The things that I know are true — which are themes and topics that I feel, without doubt, are definitely and most obviously what the story was created to establish and/or bring up relating to the lore, from an out-of-universe perspective — and then the things that I think are true, which are what I personally believe the book could be trying to establish and probably believe with a fairly high level of confidence, but which may not be as obvious at a first glance and do have more leeway for other interpretations.

It should be noted, however — and this is probably something I will retroactively add to the “Disclaimer and Important Notes” page, as I feel it’s quite important to all of the books — that, as Scott has confirmed in a decently recent interview with Dawko that he just writes down the basic plot of his stories and all the important points he wants to cover and then lets the other author flesh it out more fully, we have no way of knowing outside of the main plot exactly what details were his ideas and which aren’t; therefore, there’s a good chance that a few or even multiple of the things I bring up are just massive coincidence and have no meaning whatsoever in reality. Nevertheless, I do think there’s value in discussing it, but that fact is also why I will often try to provide far more than just one detail to back up most of my more elaborate interpretations and ideas — because we can’t be sure that any one single tiny detail within the books has value, unless of course it’s something Scott has specifically said is important.

Now! With that in mind, let’s take a look at what we can glean from this tale.

The things I KNOW are True

So, approaching this from the angle that, according to Frights Fiction, every Fazbear Frights story must contain some measure of truth hidden within the lies — some event Fazbear Entertainment is attempting to discredit (or further discredit, if it’s something that’s come up before) and monetize — what do I believe are the things To Be Beautiful is definitely riffing off of?

Well, there are four things here I am absolutely sure of:

1: Eleanor is absolutely derived from and supposed to be the Fazbear Frights version of Circus Baby — but more specifically and very importantly, she is Circus Baby after killing and being possessed by Elizabeth.

How do I know this? Well, there are a number of indicators throughout the book which tell us this:

It is stated very clearly in the book that Eleanor has green eyes — the color we know to be Elizabeth’s eye color, which Baby absorbed after killing and being possessed by her, according to Sister Location — not Circus Baby’s original blue.

In general, appearance wise, Eleanor looks very much like the version of Baby we see in The Silver Eyes trilogy, and said Baby was also possessed by Elizabeth and had the same duality in thoughts and nature that Circus Baby did during the main events of Sister Location, rather than being just an AI.

Her name is Eleanor — a name that is not only strikingly more human than Circus Baby, but also begins with the same two letters as Elizabeth.

She is stated in the books to have “a young girl’s voice”; now, what precisely this means, I suppose, is up for interpretation, but usually, if you refer to someone as a “young girl”, it means they are a child. In other words, she sounds younger than she looks; she sounds like a child. If I had to guess, she most probably sounds like Elizabeth — like Ennard sounds in the secret ending on Night Five, after Baby’s AI has been removed and all that remains of Baby is Elizabeth. Now, we could say that she has Circus Baby’s voice, as that could also be considered one of a young girl, but I feel the intentional draw to the fact that her voice sounds like a young girl, when Eleanor is described to be more of a proper woman, has to be an intentional dissonance, and using it just to say “oh, she sounds like Circus Baby” seems a bit pointless and redundant when it is already so clear that she is a stand-in for Circus Baby and practically no one is going to try to dispute this. In my eyes, this was done to draw attention to the fact that she is more than just an A.I. She is, just like in The Silver Eyes, both a girl and an AI who wants to obtain a more perfect and human-like body to inhabit. Something real.

The reason why I feel that this distinction is important is several-fold, and we’ll get to some of the reasons later, but for now let’s focus on the most important one, which is:

2: The events that happen in To Be Beautiful because of Eleanor are largely (with only a few caveats) meant to mirror and appear drawn from Sister Location.

Feeling skeptical? Here’s some evidence to back it up:

Throughout a vast majority of the story, ever since their initial meeting, Eleanor is largely portrayed as a kind and caring individual who longs to be good and only wants to help Sarah and keep her safe; this is a point that is brought up many, many times throughout the book — sometimes from Sarah, and sometimes even from Eleanor, herself. (To give one choice line from the book among the many examples: “Somehow, Eleanor being there made Sarah feel safe, as if Eleanor were standing guard.”) This is also true in Sister Location, as Circus Baby takes the role of protector and guide for Michael throughout many nights, keeping him safe and ensuring that nothing can hurt him, to the point where Michael (in the true, regular ending) steadily grows to trust her nearly completely and put his life in her hands, as Sarah does the same with Eleanor.

However, just like in Sister Location for Michael regarding Circus Baby, there are brief moments here and there as time progresses where Sarah gets the slightest hint of something just being “off” about the situation, or even times when Eleanor does something outright creepy, like leaning over and staring at Sarah while she sleeps, but she gives an innocent explanation for it, and Sarah, while upset, still seems to shrug it off in the end and forgive, excusing it by some means and telling herself it’s nothing to worry about (AKA just like when Circus Baby kidnaps Michael after Funtime Foxy attacks him, and stuffs him inside a Springlock Suit, claiming she did it to save him, but at the same time demanding he be quiet until the workers leave the room and wait until morning to be rescued), shortly before she inevitably seals her own fate the next day.

Eleanor really only awakens at night (“mostly nocturnal”, as the book puts it) in most cases, putting an emphasis on Sarah’s visits with her always happening at these times, much like with the night segments in Sister Location being the time that Michael interacts with Baby, and it also being the usual time that the animatronics go into free-roaming mode, and seem to start actively “coming to life” in their supernatural way in the mainline games’ canon, in general.

Sarah and Eleanor ended up meeting when Sarah found her in an old scrap yard and took pity on her condition, deciding to save her and fix her up. Michael met Baby because he had gone to Circus Baby’s Entertainment and Rental specifically to find Elizabeth and fix her, saving and freeing her from the AI that allegedly controlled her and made her do bad things, and “putting her back together.”

Eleanor’s ‘helping’ of Sarah — or rather, slowly working towards taking her entire body and getting Sarah to willingly, though albeit unknowingly, help her do it — takes place over the course of four nights, with the fifth day being the time that the transformation is finally complete; this much probably doesn’t even need saying, but this is a direct parallel to the four nights of Baby helping Michael along the way and ensuring his body would be preserved until he finally came around again on the fifth, when Baby and her fellow animatronics’ preparations were finally complete.

Both Eleanor’s and Circus Baby’s ultimate goal in helping the person they’ve met and keeping them safe for a period of time was for the explicit purpose of stealing their body and identity to use as a disguise and escape where they were being kept, so they could freely roam the world and go where they pleased.

There is actually a lot of clear symbolism and parallels for Ennard inhabiting and at times even controlling Michael’s body post-scoop, especially during the scene where Sarah loses her necklace and begins to lose her seemingly soft and human outside appearance to transform into a literal mass of tangled parts that she was underneath, detailing how people around her slowly went from expressing joy or amusement to absolute horror and fear, describing her struggling to walk down the street to her house and considering what people must think seeing her, describing the odd feeling and sound when the necklace first fell off, the clanking and clunking inside her, the slow horrific realization of what had happened, how she struggled to move and her body no longer was under her control, and lastly, how, “She was falling apart. Collapsing into a hideous trash heap. She didn’t resemble a human of any kind.” (Quite similarly to how Michael was falling apart in spite of the remnant in his body trying to repair him and barely resembled a human by the time Ennard finally left him.)

A little detail, maybe, but as Sarah is searching for Eleanor, she eventually begins to lose control over her ability to speak well, and calls out to her as “Ena”…which is quite similar in sound to Ennard.

These are definitely much smaller things by comparison, but I also feel that both Sarah notably staring into the mirror a lot and the mention of her eating spaghetti dinner at one point in the story are also meant to be small little symbols and metaphors for Sister Location, as Michael notably is seen staring into his mirror at the end of Sister Location, and Sarah consuming spaghetti — whose noodles are like Ennard’s many long tangled wires he is comprised of, and whose traditionally red marinara sauce resembles blood — could be seen as a metaphor for Ennard entering into Michael through his stomach after he is scooped.

Not only that, but there are also a few things in the story that only make sense if you think about them from the perspective of it being a fictional story in-universe that is meant to be borrowing a lot of events from and using symbolism for Sister Location; for example, and perhaps most notably, an ‘issue’ which GiBi’s Horror Homestead brought up in his video analysis of To Be Beautiful: the fact that instead of having Eleanor directly wear Sarah’s old body parts, she instead transforms her appearance using some sort of technology (more on this in a moment), and Sarah winds up finding the body parts just uselessly lying in bags which fall onto the floor.

It may seem counterintuitive, at first, to have Eleanor not wear the body parts when Ennard quite literally wore Michael’s body as a skinsuit, but I actually feel that this was very intentional; having Eleanor not do this not only allowed for the body parts — arms, legs, noses, and torsos — to be splayed out on the floor in front of Sarah when the sickening realization hits her, reminiscent of all the body parts of the animatronics in the Scooping Room when Michael arrives there, but it also leaves room for the book to specifically mention her entrails and organs slopping out onto the floor as well — giving the image of what would have happened to Michael when the scooper finally got him.

We could also say that Eleanor singing was meant to be reminiscent of Ballora, though I’m not quite as certain of that much, just a thought I wanted to put forward as, otherwise, I admit, I’m unclear on the purpose of it existing — unless, of course, it has some sort of hypnotizing and/or calming effect that basically worked as the anesthetic before Sarah’s surgery, and we’re for some reason supposed to draw absurd parallels between the Puppet being soothed by the music box and this in order to come to that conclusion, but I highly doubt that for a multitude of reasons.

3: Sarah’s necklace and Eleanor’s matching button are, without doubt, meant to be another play on and reminder of illusion disc technology, making this the second time within this book that it’s brought up.

Now, why Sarah’s body fails when her necklace falls off, even though there is no such mechanic involved in illusion discs, is another matter entirely, and while yes, we could easily say that perhaps the necklace was also connected to her new body in some way and kept the parts “running” (acting like a key to an engine), I also honestly really don’t think that it matters one way or another — not if we believe in Frights Fiction, at least.

Occam’s Razor dictates that the simplest answer is usually the most correct one, and saying that things in the books don’t entirely follow or fit the logic of FNAF’s known main canon because they’re sensationalized fiction and that the shock and horror elements of the story (and the ability to use, alter, and discredit various real world events) are always going to come before any real world logic is definitely the simplest answer here.

Sure, we can come up with complex potential explanations like this on why something is the way it is in these stories when it doesn’t make sense, but why waste that time and effort when we know that they’re fictional to begin with, and doing so might lead to missing the actual in-universe reason why the in-universe creators of Fazbear Frights would want to include certain story elements?

4: And lastly, once again, we circle back to the (at least as much as I’ve read thus far) ever-ongoing theme of the Power of Wills and Wishes™️ — the constant and seemingly very emphasized implication that within the FNAF universe, the mind/spirit is a very powerful thing that can — to at least some degree — control, cause, and/or contribute to the shape of reality and what happens within it.

Now, as I believe I said earlier in this post, I do want to hold off on discussing this on a grander scale until I reach the article where I talk about Fetch, but I will say that this theme is even stronger and more front and center in To Be Beautiful than it was in Into the Pit, with this time not only Sarah longing to be the conventional standard of beautiful and then ultimately getting her wish, but also getting to do so through Eleanor, who explicitly talks about and promises wish-granting.

Again, just something to bear in mind for the future for now, but it absolutely needed mentioning.

—

So, we have a whole list of things that I invariably believe are key parts of the book from an in-universe perspective, but what out of all of this, if anything, do I think that, out-of-universe, was undeniably something Scott would have wanted to communicate with this book?

Well, maybe this is a bit of a boring answer, but to be honest with you, unlike with Into the Pit, where I would have at least said that I think getting the year of the MCI — 1985 — out there was definitely a goal in the book, and that the game version also added a most likely game-canon design for Henry and William and a heavily implied connection between Oswald’s Dad and Freddy Bully, I don’t think that there’s actually any one thing that To Be Beautiful exists specifically to fully, uniquely, and unquestionably establish — at least not that isn’t mentioned elsewhere in other stories to some degree as well.

Rather, I think that To Be Beautiful — both in terms of the things that I think are utterly undeniable, and the things in the next section that I just believe in very strongly and think are backed quite well by various evidence, but aren’t as easily confirmed — just exists to further expand and place further emphasis upon certain points that have already been, and will continue to be, brought up in other Fazbear Frights books.

And in the case of the things that I feel are utterly undeniable, those points that I think emphasis is being placed on are illusion disc technology, and the very intriguing concept that is genuine willpower within the FNAF universe.

“But why the illusion discs?” I can hear some of you asking even now, “I know you said the other thing comes up again, and you have a theory on that to share later, but what’s so important about these?”

Well, like I said in my Into the Pit article, I think that Scott wants to remind people that technology like this is a thing in the FNAF universes, and that we shouldn’t rule it out of existing in the main canon, too — and not just because of FNAF 4, either; we’ve actually seen something akin to illusion disc technology not just hinted at, but actually shown to us in the main universe already, within Ruin, when we’re not using the Vanny mask. There are many things that Cassie can see and feel right in front of her so realistically that she is utterly convinced she can’t pass through until she wears the mask to take the illusion away, or removes it by some other source, like finding and removing ‘anomalies’ on the camera in a certain order (AKA using a hidden passcode to deactivate the illusion).

I’m not sure just yet how important this technology is going to become, but I do wholeheartedly believe that even if you are still utterly intent on just believing that FNAF 4 was a bunch of nightmares and nothing more, illusion discs are nevertheless clearly an integral part of the series either way, and a relevant thing that is intentionally being discussed and going to continue to be important to understanding how certain things in the mainline FNAF universe work.

The things I FEEL are True

…Well, putting all of that absolute certainty and undeniable truth behind us, let’s now wade a bit deeper into the pool of analysis, well-backed theories, and plausible personal interpretations, and finally ask the burning question:

What do I think To Be Beautiful could be trying to say about the main lore and/or its characters, on a deeper level?

Well, to start with, one thing is for sure: it’s certainly carrying on this entire book’s clear but unstated secondary theme of its main characters feeling unlovable, unwanted, utterly invisible in any possible positive context, and like life is meaningless in its current state.

But…why is it like that? It’s not as if this is the running theme which is mentioned on the back of the volume itself — with said theme being identified as the fulfillment of wishes and their unfortunate consequences — and yet, it is still undeniably there.

Oswald feels like his Dad doesn’t really care about him, feels invisible to him, and is generally unhappy and bored with the way his monotonous, unpleasant life is in their dying town. Sarah, as we’ll further discuss soon, hates her own body and feels ugly, undesirable, and utterly invisible because of it, thinking that there’s no happiness to be found in life unless she fundamentally changes herself to be more in line with what’s considered conventionally pretty. And lastly, Millie — well, Millie’s plight we’ll get around to later, when we discuss Count the Ways, but trust me when I say that she is absolutely not the exception to this rule, and if anything, is actually even more extreme than the others in a lot of ways.

I know some people might say that it probably just lined up that way because the characters being unhappy was the necessary motivator for them to even have wishes in the first place, but that isn’t necessarily true; yes, they would need to be unhappy in some way with their current life, but that discontent didn’t have to stem from those precise, very specific troubles.

As a matter of fact, Oswald’s wish itself — the one that was “granted” to him through his discovery of the ballpit — had absolutely nothing in particular to do with his struggle of feeling ignored and not cared about; rather, it stemmed mostly just from the fact that he was feeling bored, and while yes, that boredom was technically because of these issues, he could very easily have just been bored without meeting any of the criteria here, so it seems very intentional that he was nevertheless written so that he did meet them — just as it does with every other main character in the book.

The fact that they all met every single one of these points has to mean something, it’s just a matter of what…and, honestly, if you’ve read my previous article, then I think you probably already know where I’m going with this.

But, for now, let’s reel it back in and just focus on Sarah’s story and who I think she and her struggles represent individually, since I think it’s easier to build a case up for something like this if you first take it one step at a time.

I’m sure you’re well aware where I stand on it, but I’ll go ahead and say it plainly anyway: I think that the character of Sarah is a stand-in for Michael, potentially in more ways than just as far as it relates to fulfilling his role in the story’s intentional bastardization of Sister Location.

Yes, I realize that there are probably plenty of people who are going to disagree with me on this, and I can understand why; at a cursory glance, Sarah and Michael don’t really seem very alike beyond what happened to them, and, if anything, I’m sure Elizabeth is probably the first canon character to come to mind when people see a story involving a girl and Circus Baby-like robot — especially one she looks up to and views as extraordinarily beautiful and perfect.

Combine that with the fact that a great many people borrow from the explicitly alternate universe Silver Eyes trilogy in their headcanons for how William was to her as a father (as well as other, equally dubious sources of information), and I’m sure that a fair number would be quite convinced that the Afton girl just meets every criteria on the board necessary to be an obvious parallel to Sarah and all of her troubles and concerns.

…She’s really not, though — not in hardly any sense of the word.

Let’s review the smaller bits of evidence that could be used to support this theory, and see how they hold up to scrutiny:

1: “Sarah is explicitly mentioned to have an older brother in college who is majoring in computer science and might know about [the concept of something like Eleanor] — a clear reference to Elizabeth having an older brother, Michael.” …Not…really. Sure, Sarah and Elizabeth both have older brothers, and with Sarah being 14 and college having the potential to accept students well into their 20s or even older, you could really stretch it to say that they have a similar age gap, but there’s honestly no proof of this whatsoever; talking in terms of statistics and probabilities, the gap they have is much more likely to be closer to what Elizabeth would’ve had with Garret than what she had with Michael.

As for the brother’s profession, this…actually has no connection to Michael whatsoever; yes, he’s familiar with the animatronics, but that’s because his father makes them for a living, and later on — long after Elizabeth’s death, I might add — he works around and perpetually deals with them as a night security guard at Freddy’s, too.

A lot of people have brothers. A lot of people in this franchise have people who in some way know something about technology or animatronics; this is not a smoking gun in any way, shape, or form. The details just don’t match up enough to make for a compelling piece of evidence. They don’t even mention a name.

2: “The story makes mention of frozen yogurt/ice cream a few times, and has Sarah eat it; this is meant to be a reference to Circus Baby, and the fact that a vanilla ice cream cone was what she used to lure Elizabeth to her death. That makes Sarah Elizabeth.” This is an even bigger reach than the mention of Sarah having a brother.

Yes, ice cream/frozen yogurt is mentioned in the book a few times, very passingly, but the purpose of its mention is less about the treat itself and more a means by which to discuss the fact that the Beautifuls seem to be able to eat whatever they want without gaining an ounce, and Sarah feels like she can’t (as well as potential symbolism for the fact that the Beautifuls are cold and self-indulgent). At no point is Sarah mentioning how much she loves ice cream — and she does talk at decent length about foods she is actually partial to, like pizza — or even picking a flavor that would have a hint of significance towards that tragic canon event, explicitly choosing swirl over the option for vanilla. At no point is the ice cream relevant to the plot, or in any form connected to her death at the end of the book, which it absolutely should be if this was truly meant to be a parallel between those events.

The graphic novel does feel like it puts a little bit more emphasis on the inclusion of the food, but this is ironically only because it does a poor job at explaining the reason it was brought up in its source material in the first place, and it entirely skips over Sarah having a date at an ice cream shop, too — oddly making it stand out even more, simply because it feels like an almost pointless inclusion, whereas in the book it makes perfect sense. It’s not a deliberate choice, it’s just another meaningless point of contention that says nothing other than that the graphic novel is really bad at conveying, even with the help of visuals, what the book easily conveys with just words alone.

3: “Sarah wants to have blonde hair; Elizabeth is (strawberry) blonde.” Yes, correct…but an emphasis should be placed on wants; Sarah is not blonde, nor does she become blonde even when all her wishes are otherwise granted. Sarah is a brunette. If Scott wanted to make Sarah a parallel to Elizabeth, having her share her hair color — or at least succeed in obtaining her hair color later, when her wishes were granted — would have been an easy way to help nudge readers in the direction of viewing her as a metaphor for Elizabeth despite a great scarcity of other solid evidence, but he deliberately chose instead to give her the brown hair and blue eyes of Elizabeth’s brother Michael, instead of the near instantly recognizable (strawberry) blonde and green eyes of the one some allege that he meant to portray.

Yes, in the To Be Beautiful-inspired mini-game of the Into the Pit video game adaption, Eleanor does make Sarah blonde, but this was clearly done because if it wasn’t, it would be unrecognizable in an 8-bit artstyle that Eleanor had changed her head much at all. I don’t particularly like the change exactly because I feel it muddies the waters in this way and has the potential for causing confusion, but I do understand why it was done, and it wasn’t because Scott wanted to retcon how Sarah looked; it was because it was the only simple way to convey the change in that part of her appearance — the same as changing her clothes was one of the easiest ways to convey a lot of the change in her body.

4: “Sarah likes soft pink, as evidenced by her nails and lipstick post-transformation; Elizabeth’s room in FNAF 4 was decorated all in pink.” …Well, for one thing, we don’t know for sure that that room belonged to Elizabeth; I certainly agree that it is Elizabeth’s room, I 100% believe that that is the intended interpretation, but it should be said that it’s not actually been confirmed, and there are people out there who choose to believe it’s Michael’s.

For reasons that should be obvious if you know my semi-controversial stance on FNAF 4, I pretty strongly disagree with the interpretation that that room is Michael’s, unless we’re assuming a change of houses (and decor tastes) happened by the time the night sections of FNAF 4 rolled around, but it is an interpretation that exists, and so it does bear mentioning.

Even if it is Elizabeth’s room, though — and again, I agree that it is — a girl liking pink isn’t really some groundbreaking thing, given that at this current point in time, that is the well-known stereotype (and many girls do, in fact, like pink, though it has little to do with gender). Saying, “this girl likes pink, so she must be this other girl who likes pink” is just….not really the best argument I’ve seen, if we’re being honest — especially when one of the main plot points of the story is that Sarah wants to adhere to the conventional beauty standards for her gender.

—

Well, even if we don’t have any of that, we at least still have the fact that Elizabeth clearly felt pretty much everything Sarah did about herself, right? In the Silver Eyes trilogy, Elizabeth was constantly neglected by her Dad in favor of his inventions — with that universe’s equivalent of Circus Baby being his main focus at the time when she was alive — longing to be loved and wanted like Baby was, to be perfect like Baby was, and even after dying and possessing Baby, neither she nor Baby were ever happy or content with themselves because he immediately moved on to just trying to use her to get something better, leaving her to feel like she wasn’t enough and grow jealous of the current object of his interest. That’s a perfect fit for the secondary theme I keep mentioning in this volume, and not a bad comparison to Sarah by any means, isn’t it?

I mean, yeah, it’s not too far off the mark, but…we’re not talking about The Silver Eyes’ Elizabeth here; there would be no point in Sarah being a parallel for an alternate universe version of Elizabeth, just to tell us what we already know about her — and despite fairly popular opinion, the Elizabeth from the main games’ canon, whom this would be about if it was about any Elizabeth, isn’t canonically like the one in the Silver Eyes. Neither is William, in regards to the way he largely treats his kids.

Look, I know that people can have their different interpretations of characters wherever the blanks aren’t filled in, and that’s perfectly fine, but there comes a point where you have to be able to look at canon and distinguish whether what you choose to believe about a character is a headcanon (something that doesn’t conflict with official canon, but also doesn’t necessarily have anything backing it), or an alternate universe interpretation (which is something that conflicts with canonical information in a way that renders it impossible to reconcile with official canon, no matter how cool or fun the idea may be).

It’s perfectly fine if some of you like the idea of a William Afton who is abusive and/or neglectful of all of his kids, and I 100% encourage you to play around with that in your creations, if that’s what makes you happy, but canonically, in terms of the mainline games, it needs to be recognized that as far as any 100% confirmable canon is concerned, that is not what William is; William did not neglect or abuse Elizabeth. William did not neglect or abuse Garret. There is nothing confirmable in main canon which suggests this, and everything that suggests otherwise.

If William did not care about Garret or Elizabeth, he would not be on a mission to “put them back together”, to the point of temporarily enlisting the only child whom he does canonically resent to help him do it.

If William did not care about Garret, he would not have sat at his child’s bedside and begged him to wake up. If William did not care about Elizabeth, he would not have tried to protect her from Baby. The entire point of mainline FNAF — and what makes it so compelling — is that William is shown to just have originally been a father who lost himself when he lost his child and went progressively more and more mad in his grief as his refusal to let go just kept causing him to lose more, until he had truly become a monster (in more than one sense of the word) practically beyond all recognition. It is the contrast between him, Henry, and Michael in how they deal with their grief that makes them all such good characters.

There is no point in confirmable canon in which Elizabeth says or implies that her father mistreated her prior to her death, and she even goes so far as to say in the end of Pizzeria Simulator that she believes that the entire pizzeria and Michael taking the job was all a gift for them (his children) from their father, which I can’t imagine her saying if she thought he didn’t care about her or them. By all accounts, she speaks very lovingly of him.

So no, as far as we know, the actual main canon Elizabeth does not fit the bill for the running secondary theme of this volume, which means that she does not really fit Sarah.

And as for the Silver Eyes’ interpretation of Elizabeth, I do feel it’s very important to just draw attention to one thing: in that alternate universe, William did not have multiple children; there was not a Garret or a Michael through whose fates we could mark his complex descent into madness through grief. This was intentional; there was no Garret in William’s life because in the Silver Eyes, if William had a Garret to mourn and to obsess over returning to life at all costs, he would not have been the antithesis to Henry, who instead took his role with his grief over his late daughter, Charlie. If William had had an Elizabeth he loved, he would not have been the contrast to the loving father that Henry was, and Elizabeth/Baby would not have had a reason to be jealous of Charlie, who had a father who loved her so dearly, and that was very clearly what they were going for.

As a result, the Silver Eyes Elizabeth was not just Elizabeth — she was a unique-to-that-universe creation who fulfilled a role that was a mix between her mainline canon counterpart and the mainline canon Michael — a little girl born of William Afton to die tragically to Baby, but also a child for William to neglect and then act cruel/cold/disdainful towards and make suffer in the name of his endeavors.

Trying to compare anyone in the Silver Eyes in a straightforward way to their main canon namesakes and expecting everything (or even most things) to transfer over is a fruitless endeavor, because no one there is entirely themselves; they’re what the narrative needs them to be in order to work the way it wants. That’s why it’s an alternate universe.

And finally, as we’ve discussed in the previous section, Elizabeth already has a main character counterpart in Eleanor, when it comes to To Be Beautiful; Eleanor very clearly represents Circus Baby after she’s been possessed by Elizabeth, and the overall plot is meant to mirror the events of Sister Location, so why would she need to also be represented by the character who happens to be the stand-in for Michael in every other instance?

It’s much more sensible to assume that Elizabeth is represented by the main character who parallels — well, Elizabeth, and that Michael is represented by the main character who is an obvious stand-in for him.

Besides, Michael has so much more in common with Sarah, to begin with. Think about it:

1: We already know that in terms of the main plot and how it relates to Sister Location, Sarah is meant to be filling Michael’s space, so it would hardly be a leap of logic to say that it would make the most sense if the person she is meant to parallel in other ways is also Michael, rather than some random other character whom we aren’t already thinking about.

2: Sarah and Michael both share the same mousy brown hair and blue eyes, making for a compelling argument to an intentional physical resemblance despite the difference in gender.

3: Furthermore, going by both the descriptions in the book and the artwork of the graphic novel, apart from characteristics brought on by age, Sarah bares a strong, almost uncanny likeness to her Mom — perfectly paralleling how Michael and his father, William, are canonically near identical in appearance, as well.

4: Given that there is a certain passage in the story, during the point where Sarah is having her first ‘interview’ with the Beautifuls, where it is explicitly stated, “Sarah tried not to bristle at the word ‘Dad’.”, I think it is safe to say that both she and Michael have issues and/or an overall adversary — or at least strained — relationship with their fathers, as well. We know from the mainline canon that Michael definitely does, for as much as there might have been a part of him that once wanted to win his love and attention when he was young.

5: Throughout the book, Sarah has a best friend named Abby, whom she has been so close to for most of her life that she basically grew up with her; Abby can occasionally be used as a nickname for ‘Elizabeth’, and in the alternate universe FNAF movie, Michael’s sister — who is very clearly meant to be Elizabeth — is called Abby, as well.

I don’t think that Abby is necessarily meant to be Elizabeth in the story, by any means, for reasons that should already be clear, but I do think that this is supposed to be yet another attempt at making parts of Sarah’s life mirror Michael’s in a way.

6: In one part of the tale, Sarah remarks how Eleanor is definitely “more alive than the stuffed Freddy Fazbear she’d had on her bed since she was six”, and again makes reference to said Freddy plush later on, when she picks it up to hug it, while telling Eleanor about her day.

If you happen to subscribe to the same belief that I do that the night sections of FNAF 4 take place in Michael’s bedroom, and that Michael is the one being terrorized by animatronics fitted with illusion discs by his father, then you’d know that Michael very notably has a stuffed Freddy Fazbear on his bed that this could be a reference to, as could the vague suggestion that Sarah’s stuffed Freddy hadn’t “come to life”, as appeared to happen in a sense to young Michael during this time.

7. Not exactly a smoking gun by any means, but Sarah and Abby both very openly love pizza in this, even if Sarah stopped eating it for quite a while out of a desire to avoid carbs, and Sarah even seems to be something of a connoisseur in the way she narrates the fact that the pizza at the cafeteria isn’t that bad for what it was, making an implication she’s had better, more fresh pizza.

Michael is also quite familiar with pizza, given that it’s his family’s business, as would his sister Elizabeth be, and in the Security Logbook, one of the perks of the job of working at Freddy’s that Michael mentions is “employees get free pizza”, implying that he does quite enjoy it — even enough that it could be considered a perk of an otherwise extremely dangerous and largely unpleasant, generally low-paying job.

8: Despite knowing full well how they can be, Sarah seems to nevertheless idolize and greatly want to be a part of The Beautifuls, who are ultimately just a glorified group of spoiled, wealthy bullies. This is, truthfully, not very different at all from the fact that Michael used to hang out with what appeared to be a group of bullies when he was a young teen, also around Sarah’s stated age.

9: A lot of Sarah’s specific complaints about herself and her life have a lot of potential subtle symbolism relating to Foxy, and the various versions of the character that have been made over the years — and I don’t think I have to explain how important Foxy symbolism generally is, when we’re talking about Michael.

Here’s just a few of the notable examples I’ve picked up on:

Sarah’s obsessions with the faults of her physical appearance are, and I quote, a “bulbous nose”, “prominent ears,” and the fact that “all her parts seem stuck onto her body at random” — over which she then compares herself to “Mrs. Mix-n-match”. Both the bulbous nose and prominent ears are some of the very defining features of Foxy in nearly every iteration, and, of course, although I know Mrs. Mix-n-Match was meant to be a parallel to our world’s Mrs. Potato Head, I can’t help but feel that the way Sarah describes herself and even the name of the toy itself strongly bring to mind the image of Mangle, too.

Although this game came out a year later, I also find it important to note that Roxy — an obviously related character and later a replacement for Foxy during Security Breach’s era — shares many of Sarah’s self-worth and self-image issues, which can often lead her to act like something of a bully to compensate. She also mentions that “nobody likes a loser”, and Sarah in this book plainly states that she doesn’t like to sit at the “loser table” and refuses to do so anymore. This may not be an intentional parallel on the book’s part, as Security Breach obviously did not much exist at that time (if at all) even in the development stage, but it is certainly possible that it could be the other way around, and Roxy could be designed the way she is exactly because of Sarah/Michael, and the fact that she is technically an iteration of Foxy. Just food for thought, I guess.

—

Above all, though, as I began to explore in my previous article, Michael and Sarah’s very biggest common-ground that they share is that secondary underlying theme that pervades this entire book and all three of its full stories — that same feeling of being unlovable, unwanted, invisible when it comes to anything good, and feeling that life in its current state is empty and meaningless.

And if there’s still any doubt of that — still some lingering question of if that could really be an accurate reading of Michael — let us put that to rest immediately, because out of all the iterations of Michael that exist thus far, there is no iteration in which the canon of that universe does not at least show it to be perfectly fitting to his personality — if not blatantly showing and stating it.

In the alternate universe FNAF movie, while avoiding as many spoilers as possible, Michael very clearly carries the weight of guilt over his past mistakes, feels unwanted and invisible to the person he cares about most — not to mention undeserving of being in that person’s life, and later, even shows signs of not particularly caring what happens to him anymore and that life isn’t worth living if he can’t change how it is.

In the mainline canon, through both the games and the Security Logbook, we can see that Michael is deeply regretful of what he did to Garret and, after doing all he could to help his sister who technically died because of that action, as well, states, himself, that the only thing left for him is to continue to live on long enough to right all the harm that he inadvertently caused through a domino effect resulting out of Garret’s death, and find and stop his father. It is very clear, especially through both the Security Logbook and heavily suggested in Pizzeria Simulator, that he feels life beyond this is meaningless and longs to die once it’s all over.

And for the final nail in the coffin of every clear and undeniable Michael interpretation strongly lending to all of the aforementioned themes applying to and being true of Michael in the mainline canon of the games, there is even also a story that comes later in Fazbear Frights — called Lonely Freddy — which is much more undeniably directly about Michael as a person, in which his very obvious stand-in has almost this exact mindset (though that will have to wait, as I don’t want to give out spoilers for future books and tales here).

…But what can we really learn about Michael from To Be Beautiful? Even if what I say here is true, then what could this tale possibly have to contribute that the rest of this volume and that aforementioned later book don’t? If anything, wouldn’t this just be echoing that same general theme and sentiment?

…Well, yes, it would — but that doesn’t mean that examining the specific ways that theme manifests in this story and Sarah’s unique attributes can’t contribute anything new to the conversation. I absolutely think it can.

So, without further ado — as I think this article is getting incredibly long already — here are some things that I personally find to be quite interesting and potentially very revealing when applied to Michael’s character, and why:

1: First of all, to start this off strong with my most robust dissection of Michael's character, there's the parallel between the bullies he used to hang out with as a teen and Sarah's Beautifuls.

In To Be Beautiful, Sarah very clearly has an issue with idolizing bullies and bullying behavior, using her own self-hatred and body image issues to justify the behavior of those she deemed better than herself in some way. It's a sad but interesting thought process to examine — the way that she felt that those who possessed what she herself wanted had the right to look down on her and others simply for not having it, and that she should be honored to even be in their presence for a moment, if they happened to entertain her.

She kept pictures of models on her wall, but not as inspiration in any positive sense of the word; rather, she ended up allowing it to be yet another way to make her feel worse about herself, and even imagined these "goddesses of beauty" mocking her and telling her she had no hope of ever being as pretty as they were.

In Sarah's mind, the supreme, inherent beauty of people like this — especially the Beautifuls — magically shielded them from all of life's pain and embarrassment, and to be accepted by them meant to be covered by that same forcefield, and given status, meaning, worth.

They had high status not because they were rich or had influential parents who could afford to give them anything they wanted and remove any obstacles placed in their way, but because they were beautiful — or at least, that was how she viewed it.

And she wanted that more than anything else. She wanted that, and she wanted to feel valued, and if the Beautifuls — who judged practically everyone but the ‘best’ — valued her and let her run with them, then she had the undeniable proof and reassurance she desperately sought and needed, even once she was already ‘beautiful’, that she had ‘true’ worth.

Applying this philosophy to Michael has an…interesting effect and implication.

While we’ll get into discussion of whether or not there’s anything potentially to be said about Michael and how he feels about his own appearance later, I think it’s very safe to say that, regardless of the answer, that’s obviously not what motivated him when it came to him joining the bully group he was a part of in his teens.

Still, it doesn’t have to be about beauty to tie back to Sarah and her philosophy; if we look at it logically, then like with Sarah, Michael’s reason for looking up to and joining the bullies must have been based off of three things: his own lack of self-worth and a need for that to be validated, the ability to gain status that helped him feel above life’s pain and embarrassment, and them having something he doesn’t, but wishes he had.

The second reason is very simple to work out and requires no pondering at all, as we know for a fact that obviously, being a bully in any capacity does grant you freedom from a lot of life’s inconveniences, as many people will be intimidated enough by you that you gain a certain level of status and free pass to do whatever you want without consequence. Despite Sarah’s (and hence, Michael’s) initial beliefs, it obviously does not truly protect you from all pain or humiliation, no, but it does grant you a significant edge, even if through rather unfortunate means.

As for the first reason, that is also very much tied to the third, so to answer one is to inevitably answer the other, but if not beauty, what was Michael’s greatest insecurity and desire?

Did he want to be wealthy, as the Beautifuls were? Obviously, the answer is no; looking at what little we can observe of Michael’s bully cohorts in his teens and what we can gather of some of them in their present lives, they didn’t particularly appear to be wealthy, and more than likely, given how successful Fredbear’s Family Diner was, Michael’s family would’ve been the richest out of all of them, even if they did appear to choose to live fairly humbly.

The only possible choice, then, is — as I posited in my previous article, and as is backed up by a later story — Michael’s greatest insecurity was in feeling that he was invisible to and largely unloved by his father and/or family in general, compared to his siblings, and, whether or not he originally particularly liked the power the bullies had and flaunted (something of which we cannot easily say one way or another at this point in time), he nevertheless looked up to them for how unaffected they were in life and potentially how their parents spoiled and loved them, and he simultaneously satisfied his loneliness and further fed the beast by choosing to be around them so that he could feel wanted and accepted by at least someone, feel power over at least something when he felt powerless elsewhere, and (as posited previously) act out more and more in an attempt to get the acknowledgement from his father or family that he craved so desperately.

And yet, this also raises a question; if, like Sarah, Michael perhaps believed that the bullies had the right to do what they wanted because they’d earned it through what they had (even if, in their case, it was mostly just power over their lives and the support of the parents), why didn’t he feel the same way about — as we know happened, both according to UCN and the later Lonely Freddy story I keep speaking of — Garret pranking him or otherwise (usually unintentionally) making his life harder? Wouldn’t he feel like he deserved it?

Actually, no, because Sarah was equally a hypocrite about it, when it came to those closer to her, for, despite expressing several times in both narration and dialogue that she believed Abby was beautiful and just didn’t flaunt it (and thus, should have gotten the same level of excusing as the Beautifuls did ), the moment that she felt judged by Abby, Sarah became angry and lashed out at her, because “friends were supposed to be the people who didn’t judge you”. — even though the Beautifuls were, in fact, allowed to judge her and set a standard for her even after they were supposedly friends.

I suppose, in their minds, it’s fine when it’s people who are consistently judgy or cruel to others from the moment you’ve met them, but not fine when it’s someone you grew up with and who is usually supposed to have your back.

2: And now, for probably the most burning question, does Sarah’s emphasis on body image issues have any potential to carry over to Michael, based on what we know of the mainline canon?

Well, going into this, I was fairly certain the resounding answer was just going to be ‘no’, but…after thinking it over and reviewing what we know is canon, I actually think there might be something to it, in a more mild sense.

I obviously don’t think that Michael feels he’s ugly; with the game version of Into the Pit giving us a new and unique, likely canon photograph of William and Henry, and with Sister Location blatantly confirming that Michael looks almost just like his father, I think it’s pretty safe to safe that Michael Afton is likely very conventionally attractive by most standards.

Now, that’s not to say it’s impossible that Michael could think he isn’t, regardless — it very clearly is, since Sarah hates her own appearance and thinks she’s ugly despite her looking just like her Mom, who she clearly thinks is pretty — but given canon, I think it makes more sense to say that if Michael does hate his appearance, it’s less because he isn’t attractive, and more because he looks just like his serial killer, child murdering father.

It would not surprise me in the least if, like Sarah, the mirror we see Michael staring into in Sister Location is indeed his worst enemy, because every time he looks into it, he’s reminded of his Dad, and what he himself did that caused all of this bloodshed in the first place.

It may have even sent him into an existential crisis now and again, as both he and his dad are technically both murderers in their own right. Did it perhaps make him spend hours wondering if, like their physical appearances, they really weren’t as different as he would want to believe?

And if there was a point in time pre- or during Sister Location when he wished to distance himself from that, then I’m sure that just like Sarah, there was eventually a moment of regret for that wish, when he finally looked into the mirror some time after being scooped and could barely recognize the mangled and failing (even if attempting to mend through remnant in spite of Ennard’s intrusion) body in front of him.

There’s clearly no way to know at this point in time, but I do find the implication rather interesting.

3: Going back to the Beautifuls and the bully symbolism for a moment, I do think there is a certain point of interest in some of the symbolism surrounding them and Sarah’s desire to join them.

The way that Abby compares the Beautifuls to a type of animal (penguins) because they are not varied or unique enough in appearance to truly be distinguishable from one another and the fact that Sarah had to get an entirely new face — more or less putting on a non-removable mask — to be acceptable among them, brings to mind, for me, the bullies that Michael associated with and joined around her age, and the concept of both having to wear a both figurative and semi-literal mask to be a part of them, and the comparison to animals in their lack of recognizable features definitely brings to mind the way that those bullies all wore masks of the Fazbear animatronic animal gang.

That could just be me, though.

4: I do think the fact that Sarah deciding to try to improve her life circumstances by buying the hair dye and just ending up more literally green (with envy) in the process has symbolism for something about Michael that is later revealed in Lonely Freddy, but as that would require spoilers for that story in order to explain it, I’ll just list this here for now as something to remember, and we’ll get back to it in that post.

5: Although, I don’t believe Abby is actually meant to be a stand-in for Elizabeth in any meaningful or lasting capacity beyond adding another similarity between Sarah and Michael in who they have a sibling-like dynamic with, there is at least one or two bits in the story that may have some relevance to either Elizabeth or Garret’s relationship with Michael.

In the book, it’s explained that Abby and Sarah grew up together and used to have a very close, sibling-like dynamic where they played together, but that Sarah eventually changed as she grew older and that she more or less had taken the attitude that she had “outgrown” Abby’s world and was now too focused on “fixing” her situation and obsessing over the Beautifuls (despite them being bullies) to hang out with her as she once did — feeling that Abby just didn’t understand her plight because she isn’t mature enough to get it.

For reasons that will become clear in Lonely Freddy, I’m not completely convinced this can apply to Garret, so I’m going to say that it’s Elizabeth this is mirroring, as not only is the character’s name a nickname for Elizabeth, but the dialogue from Scrap Baby in Pizzeria Simulator seems to hint that she and Michael may have had a slightly closer and more innocently playful relationship, but it’s open to interpretation.

Either way, the point is still the same: if applicable to Michael, this information would imply that once Michael began feeling invisible, the distance between him and his sibling(s) grew greatly, as he isolated himself from them more and more, feeling that they didn’t understand or care about the situation he was in and the fact they contributed to it. (Which is, intriguingly, information that UCN seems to partially back, at least in regards to Garret — minus, as far as I can recall, the implication that they were ever extremely close.)

Not really a big revelation, but still worth bringing up, I think.

6: In general, I think that Sarah getting to feel better about herself each of the four days of the transformation and getting closer to her ideal self while (unintentionally, in her case) helping Eleanor out could easily be very symbolic of the fact that helping Elizabeth — in the form of Circus Baby — was clearly Michael’s very first major act of self-redemption, and most likely did help him to feel at least a little less of the self-hatred he would’ve still felt over his other sibling’s tragic death, and gradually brought him one step closer to what he believed at the time would be making up for his mistakes.

7: While not really big or deeply significant enough to warrant their own separate little points in this list, there are just a few little lines from the book that I’d like to highlight as particularly capturing my attention when thinking about the subject of how Sarah relates to Michael:

“She might as well get used to being alone. She was always going to be alone.” Just more potential symbolism for how Michael felt in his day to day life growing up (and potentially even after, when it became clear that his father had only chosen him to help Baby because he knew he would agree). Nothing mind-blowing — the line just stood out to me.

“She felt sad, then she felt scared, and then she felt nothing at all.” Probably one of the saddest lines in the book, and even sadder when you realize that this is likely how Michael felt in the moment of being scooped, before his body was taken over. Sadness over being betrayed by his own sister and even his father, fear over what was clearly about to happen, and then nothing, once the scooper had done its job, until he eventually regained some form of consciousness to find his body being used.

There are a few other smaller things we could potentially examine in this way, but given there’s no major evidence towards those at this present moment other than that they’re true of Sarah, and Sarah is a stand-in for Michael, I think it’s better to leave it here for now.

Instead, as one last small topic that I don’t put half as much heavy stock in, but would still like to highlight anyway, for those of you in search of the elusive Mrs. Afton’s name (it almost certainly isn’t Clara, since the Security Logbook confirms that Michael in particular is the one who relates to Clara and her plight, and makes no mention of it being his Mom’s name), there may be something worth examining here — at least if you believe that Ballora could have been made to represent Mrs. Afton.

If you’d like to hear a more in-depth explanation of this, you can (and should!) check out this little video here by another smaller FNAF creator, but the basics are that the name Eleanor has ties back to the name “Lora”, which Ballora’s name could very easily be a combination of the word “Ballerina” and the name “Lora”. Meaning that it is possible that Mrs. Afton’s name is actually Eleanor, and because this story’s version of Circus Baby is more like an adult woman, she is using her mother’s name instead of Elizabeth, as a cover name.

…And with that, I believe we are actually, finally done here with this analysis of To Be Beautiful; it certainly ended up much, much longer than I expected it to be, despite my having already expected that it would be one of the longest I would write, but I hope that it was worth it to read.

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to seeing you in the next one, when we’ll talk about Count the Ways!

[clockworkowl]

Don’t read under the cut if you haven’t gotten to at least chapter 13 (and moreso for the hidden portion the finale chapter) of Infinite Wealth, I am venting about some things which are spoilers for character interactions at the very least. you have now been warned.

So, I haven’t finished the game yet (should soon I’m finishing up stuff with the Yokohama crew before heading for the obligatory siege of the Millennium Tower ) but I’m still really angry at Kiryu for how he left things with 3Jima. Like really, really angry.

(And to be fair, I was really enjoying Kiryu this game until the bucket list where the further Date went to try to help, the more I too wanted to slug Kiryu (even though, as usual, I 💯 understand exactly what Kiryu was thinking whenever he made a choice or said a thing that made me scream at the screen. This section of the game did really hammer home to me the extent to which I see parallels in my own tragic backstory and how that makes me identify with Kiryu and thus why I get so mad at his decisions in every game. I mean, I kind of knew this before, but he’s more introspective in the bucket list book and hearing my own thoughts on certain events in my life mirrored back has been a little ‘oh…’ ) so this isn’t the only thing that’s frustrated me to watch (but damn was Akiyama’s punch so satisfying. He was all of us in that moment.)

(Do not unhide the next part if you didn’t finish the Date part of the the bucket list and aren’t up to the finale my rant is more specific here about events)

>!What the fuck was with him agreeing to not even talk to or interact with the Ichigang after the mission on top of telling Daidoji he won’t talk to Date again either? How can the Daidoji possibly care that much anymore, at that point chapter-wise the cat is well and truly out of the bag thanks to Tatara channel (so also how does he think that like Haruka et al don’t know he’s alive still? There was video of him on the fucking national news while reporters, who clearly aren’t good at reporting or critical thinking, spout a bunch of completely wrong accusations about his motives.!<

I’m sure I’ll vent further on this but it’s been stewing in me since the chapter, because usually even though we barely get any Majima the little we do get makes me happy, but that was just upsetting on all fronts. The funny thing is, it’s the one and only time in the nearly 20 years since Kiryu first got out of prison that Majima has ever said ‘no’ (though it’s mostly Daigo who says no)

[bookboxaddict]

October FairyLoot box thoughts

I’m honestly kind of devastated that I missed this one! Part of me wishes I’d gotten it and skipped the December box instead — I skimmed part of the preview of What The River Knows, and I wasn’t too interested. While The Mummy is a cinematic masterpiece, the book inspired by it was underwhelming initially, and the male love interest seemed… annoying. But since I’ve used up my skips for the year, I’ll be getting it anyway, so I’ll give it a chance.

The book was The Forest Grimm, and it’s a fairytale retelling with a GORGEOUS redesigned cover and a design on the painted edges. I love when they have images on the edges! I’m also a sucker for things about woods done in forest green, and I’ll have to talk myself out of trying to get it during the restock sale next year. I already bought a copy of the standard hardcover; I don’t need two copies!

The box contained an embroidery kit, which I don’t believe I’ve received in a book box before. Admittedly I’ve only gotten FairyLoot boxes so far, with two Rainbow Crate boxes and one Owl Crate box to break up the streak. But I would have LOVED that; I love doing easy work with my hands, and I really need more analog activities that are reasonably short; I desperately need to cut down on my screentime. I haven’t seen it in completed form, but if any of you have done it, feel free to post pictures of the completed project!

The book also has a mushroom spoon, a sort of… tiny spoon with a mushroom on the end? It’s very cute, but… what is it for? Stirring tea? Is this something British? I’m an American and sadly do not know what customs they have across the pond.

There was a photo album. Normally I’m not into these, but this design was so pretty that I regret not having gotten it! It’s blue and looks sparkly. And I really need fewer book-like objects, as I probably am already out of space and just don’t know it because I haven’t unpacked all my books yet; but I’ve heard that these albums actually let you store all the nice spoiler cards and art prints from book box subscriptions, which would be very useful. We’ll see if I receive another one from a different subscription!

There’s an Emily Wilde overlay set. I actually had no idea what an overlay set was, and had to look it up, but once I did — I am SO jealous of everyone who didn’t skip this box. I need this in my life!

Finally, there’s a set of bag clips. This would have come in handy — I do buy too many snacks in bulk and then need a way of closing their bags to make sure they stay fresh. I use gallon zip log bags sometimes, but that’s inconvenient, and then I have to wash them if I want to reuse them… ugh, these would have been so good. I’m so salty I missed this box. They’re Alice in Wonderland-themed, too, and the designs look lovely.

The box also came with tarot cards. I really wish the site would say somewhere which characters from which book the cards represent. It’s not on the box details or the tarot card descriptions in the Fairy Trove. This is a bit frustrating.

I love that this box had five items. Sadly, it seems that every time I skip a box, it’s a five-item one. I need to stop doing that!

[buggysuperior88]

I have some opinions on Boa Hancock and I want to talk about them. Im currently in the middle of watching one piece and I’m at ‘the island of women’ arc of the series. And I, sadly, have seen spoilers for the arc before I even began watching it. So I know of Boa and her sisters past… …and it is fucked up as SHIT…. BUT as I’m watching this arc, I can’t help but dislike Boa.

Im only on episode 414 and the arc finishes on episode 421. So my critiques are only of what I’ve observed since I have started the arc. So what I say may be something EVERYONE has observed and/or has said about this arc. But before I state my opinions, I wanna state the things I KNOW about Boa from what I’ve observed in this arc.

Boa Hancock (if I spelled it correctly) is the captain of an all-woman pirate crew, the kuja pirates. She is known as the Pirate Empress and/or the Snake Princess. She is the princess and ruler of Amazon Lily, an island that is fully inhabited by women. She is also a warlord of the sea, and has a devil fruit that allows her to turn anyone into stone. She was, previous to being a pirate, a former slave who was captured by slave traders when she young along with her sisters. She and her sisters were abused, most likely sexually, for a long time. In this time she grew to resent and hate MEN.

(I don’t know how she escaped because I haven’t gotten to that part of the story yet, but I assume someone was able to break in and free her and her sisters along with many other slaves as well).

She has a mark on her back that she has to constantly cover bc it gives away that she was a former slave. So she protects her back at all cost, and since she became ruler, she since banned men from EVER stepping foot on Amazon Lily (but I could be wrong and men could have already been BANNED but she just implemented it more so after she began ruling). Amazon Lily is located in the calm belt, where sea kings are known to breed. And the sea kings scare off pirates, marines, traders and anyone else that she doesn’t want near her island. So she and all the women she rules over are protected by the sea kings. But she still has to scare off someone people she doesn’t want in her waters. Such as marines and other known warlord's. In the episode where Boa confronts the marines for being near her island, in short, she turns all the marines into stone and then leaves for her island. But in this episode, her crew members are intimidated by her and try to avoid making her mad. She kicks one of the crew members pet kitten(?) and the crew member apologizes and takes the angry kitten away. (From this scene on, I started to not like her). Then she heads home to her island, and to fats forward to where luffy is captured and put into the arena, she turns the women who supposedly ‘helped’ luffy into the island. (Technically they did but they didn’t know he was a man) Boa precedes to turn them into stone and gets luffy mad by tossing them around and threatening to smash them (which would kill them.) I’ve gotten this far into the arc so FAR, so I can’t state anymore than I have only observed and watched.

Now that I’ve stated what I KNOW about Boa. I can talk about my opinions on her character. Boa, to put it simply, is NOT a nice person. To men or her people, it doesn’t matter. She treats them both like complete and utter shit.

Yes. She is beautiful. Yes. She is the most gorgeous woman I’ve EVER seen in one piece. Yes. She is also VERY powerful. And Yes. She also has had a terrible and horrific past that can only be described as INHUMANE…

…BUT…

That still doesn’t, and I mean this when I say this, ever give her the right to treat whoever she wants as trash and inferior to her. From what I’ve seen, she has treated her people like trash. It didn’t even matter if they were doing something nice for her, she would still treat them horribly. I understand the hatred for men because she was treated horribly and didn’t deserve the shit she went through. BUT that doesn’t give her the excuse to treat the women of her island, who all but worship the ground she walks on, to be treated badly. I understand the fear that if men were infiltrate her island, everyone would and/or could possibly end up being in danger, especially her and her sisters. Boa, to put it simply, has some unresolved trauma (which is pretty obvious) that stems from her being a slave and how men have treated her in the past. From the way she acts as if she is inferior to every being in existence, is false confidence to put it simply. Maybe a coping mechanism to protect herself from being hurt by others. But idk, so I could be wrong.

But back to my point, that whole ‘treating everyone like shot’ does NOT give her the right to act like an immature, spoiled toddler/adult to her own people. Also from what I’ve seen how her people treat her, I’m guessing that they know about her past and sympathize with how she was treated and basically give her whatever she wants because she was a victim, and deserves whatever she wants. And if I was one of the women, I would probably do what they are doing and justify her actions and excuse them to her having a terrible past. And bc of her past, she has a right to treat everyone and anyone who she seems inferior like shit.

Now that I’ve stated my opinion, I wanna clarify that I think her character is amazing in terms of power and strength. She is, in all honesty, a very powerful women. The fact she was able to become the ruler of her island after the fact she went through some very traumatic shit, and was able to technically recover and become a warlord to protect her people. The fact that she wanted to protect her people bc she never wanted the woman of her island to ever experience the type of shit she and her sisters were able to endure and survive. This was a very big W on her part and I can respect her for putting her people first. She’s risking everything to protect them, if they even see a glimpse of the scar on her back, she would be captured. So she has to live in constant paranoia that no matter what, she can NOT let her guard down.

Anyways, the point I’m trying to make is that I can respect Boa Hancock as a powerful character and very powerful woman. But I CANNOT for the life of me, excuse her for how she treats her people and others.

I will probably be doing some more character analysis’s later, but I just wanted to talk about her character and rant.

[the-kipsabian]

for the fanfic asks: 1, 8, 13, 20, 23, 25, 29, 43, 46, 72, 79 💚

1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike? most fics come to me in forms of dreaming while im trying to sleep, so yes. the one good thing about insomnia currently is that i get to rotate so many blorbos and scenarios in my head that i have a lot of content to write lol

8. Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip. i have like. one current wip in docs that i might work on again at some point so here. technically its not a spoiler since its the whole premise of the fic buuuut

13. Do you listen to music while you write?  If yes, what have you been listening to recently? pretty much always? i focus better when i have matching vibes, unless im having a sensory moment but usually then i cant really write either honestly. "puppet master" is my current playlist on loop, its just my two kip playlists combined into one to fit the mood of immortal fears lol

20. Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics? pretty much all my stuff in canon divergent on some level honestly, so i guess aus? not in a very obvious sense of aus but yeah. tho i do love me some extra sad aus too, post apocalyptic aus my beloved.....

23. Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest? middle part is the easiest, ending is the hardest cause i either never know when to end a story or how to end a story like. i want to have that final impact and sometimes its so hard to pinpoint where that should be. middle is just a good flow usually if i get that far and thats where all the good ideas usually happen so its my favorite <3

25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)? probably the writing itself. like i can have a shit ton of good, even great ideas while brainstorming or outlining things, but usually the biggest things happen while im actually putting the words down. i really enjoy it when the story just flows and how it comes together. also i have discovered i absolutely loathe the editing part LOL

29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of? personally i think i can bring emotions to life really well. be it happy or sad (mostly sad tho i love my sad depressed uncomfortable bitches), i feel like i have the words for them that fit

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet? hmmmmm i dont really know? i mean i have plenty of ideas sitting in my drafts and in my brain and stuff, but i dont really think i have a lot that i absolutely NEED to write. maybe that one bunnelope fic i wanted to do about a love potion gone wrong cause girls need to be gay or something

46. If you could only write one type of AU for the rest of your life, what would it be? once again - post apocalyptic au my beloved. anything that takes place "after the world ends" in one way or another is my shit. gimme all the post apocalyptic hell i crave for

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten? basically every time someone says i nailed a character im writing for the first time. cause i take a lot of pride and put in the effort to try to give them each their own voice and i study my materials and yeah. ..hence also why im so hesitant so often to write about new people cause i am a perfectionist when it comes to characterization especially ajksdnkjasd

79. Do you have any writing advice you want to share? this we discovered last week to be a really functional advice so: if you dont know how to start writing a scene, put someone in a room. make them enter a space, and start from there - why are they there, who else is there, what is their purpose in that space, what is that space?

also first drafts dont need to be perfect, everything can be edited in post, even after you post the thing if youre planning on doing so. hell some published novels have typos in them, let alone nonsensical writing and storylines. you dont need to be perfect, as long as you are writing

and obviously you are your own audience first and foremost. write for yourself yo fuck the rest (unless the rest are into it too then thats great but you should still write for yourself first and consider everything else second lol)

fanfic writing asks ~

[stewpid-soup]

LOTS OF STEVEN UNIVERSE SPOILERS, ESPECIALLY STEVEN UNIVERSE FUTURE (I’ll leave the ramble below the cut for the ppl who don’t want spoilers <3)

take a funny pic before u leave :3

(btw, if any info here is incorrect feel free to lmk or even start a calm conversation about your thoughts! I love learning more and hearing ppls perspective <3)

maybe it’s an unpopular opinion but i LOVE steven universe future, like it’s so good?? I was rewatching the last few episodes since I wanna write a fic where Steven stayed longer with Jasper bc i think they had an interesting friendship in SUF lol

But I wish it wasn’t so short and that the episodes were longer and spent more time on the characters working through their issues.

And yes, Steven may not be “Classic Steven” in SU:Future but that’s what I love about it. Trauma changes you. Even if you learn how to be a better person, it doesn’t mean it’s super easy to apply those skills to your life. It’s still so hard. Even when you think you’ve changed and gotten better, old habits seep through and you realize that maybe you haven’t made as much progress as you thought. But what SUF shows is that it’s okay to not be perfect, because that’s what makes us human. We aren’t a monster if we do things wrong, if we hurt people- what matters is that we learn and we actually take the steps to be better. This means taking responsibility. This means not running from your problems but facing them. This isn’t to say that everyone is excused from their actions because they aren’t.

I think that’s what made Connie’s entrance on the “I Am My Monster” episode so perfect. Like, YES it’s your fault! And while she was technically talking to White Diamond, I think it makes more sense if she was talking to everyone there. Everyone there, excluding Connie and Steven, are adults. Most of them have been alive for thousands of years for fucks sake. But they trauma dump and push their problems onto a child who already struggled with fitting in already. I think that even the Crystal Gems play a part in Steven’s trauma, because again, they should know better. He was a child and he didn’t have to be forced into this life. Parents are supposed to protect and make sure their child is exposed to as little bad content as possible.

Now, I’m going to use sex education as an example here, because this is a common issue with adults and how they talk to children, especially about sexual topics. If you wanna skip this bit, I’ll use large GREEN text once it’s over lol

So, there’s “two main sides” (i put it in quotes bc of course there’s ppl with loads of opinions, but these are the two most prominent ones and also the most problematic to their child’s development) to this: Some parents choose to shelter their kids from anything even mentioning sex, maybe even to the point where their child just has no genuine understanding of sex and how to deal with those thoughts and feelings. Without talking to their child maturely about these topics, their child will grow up not only being teased for not understanding but also just without a good understanding of sex and what it entails. Plus sex doesn’t just have to be about the pleasure aspect or procreation, what about sex safety and what to watch out for when choosing to go into a situation where there might be people who could potentially take advantage of you.

Now some other parents choose to not keep an eye on what their kid does on the internet or what influence people are having on their kids, and as a result the child might learn things that their brain isn’t ready to process yet since it isn’t fully developed. This can lead to their child having unrealistic expectations when it comes to sex and even get themselves into dangerous situations on the internet and real life. I’m sure many people here and on most social media platforms can understand that, when it comes to unlimited internet access, it can be a dangerous thing for young kids and teens.

However that’s not to say that everything here is bad, there are ways to learn without being exposed to material that your young brain might not be ready for. An example of this is the parental lock on your electronics! You can also TALK to your child, and focus on keeping an open communication. There’s loads of things to prevent either of these scenarios, which I can go into detail abt- but maybe in another ramble

ANYWAYS

What I mean by referring to this topic is that Steven’s situation can be seen as similar (except in a much more dramatic and complex way lol) There are things that the Crystal Gems and Greg could have done to take better care of Steven. An example being the fact that Steven was pushed headfirst into these life or death threats from such a young age. These were about things he was barely aware of until tragedy struck. So what could’ve helped during Classic SU? There could have been better communication, obviously. Greg could have at least helped homeschool Steven, or use the money he made from the car wash to possibly support Steven and the Gems financially. The Crystal Gems should have sat Steven down and told him about his mom and more about the Gem War. He should have had more of an idea of what he was getting into. The only reason he was so enthusiastic was because the Crystal Gems were his main role models since Greg was often working or just doing his own thing.

Time and time again, Steven had to be the adult in situations like when Greg faked a leg injury or when Garnet split because of the Pearl incident. I could name a million more situations where he had to be the bigger person, but I won’t for my sanity.

The Crystal Gems should have gotten more repercussions for the way they treated Steven, the things they put onto his shoulders despite being a literal child. Greg could have been a better dad, because being a dad isn’t just about having fun. Being a dad is hard and can take a lot of you, but you made the choice to bring this child into the world so you have to take responsibility. At least, in Greg’s case that’s what happened. He knew the risks and he still had a kid with Rose, so he should have been around more as Steven grew up.

anhwyas im exhausted, maybe more rambling tmrow lmao idk

love u guys and take careee

[le-trash-prince]

I just started reading The Witch King (I’m only on ch 3 so no spoilers please), and since tea is a special interest, my attention was immediately drawn to the passage below, and I wanna talk about it a little bit because the way tea is prepared says a lot about a culture

He followed the passageway between the sleeping rooms to their section’s eating area. It was a wide circular space, with coal-filled braziers for pots of millet porridge, and smaller kettles of hot water for goat milk tea. Kai sat down on a mat and by the time he got his boots on, Adeni arrived and plopped down beside him.

Now, this is mainly speculation on my part since I’ve only just begun reading and have a limited set of context clues at this point, but I find it fun to guess.

What the inclusion of goat milk tea immediately says to me is that the Saredi (or at least Kai’s clan) don’t grow much of their own fresh produce. Considering the country is listed as a grassland area on the map, they’re mentioned as being nomadic, and they have goat and horse herds, I feel like this is a safe bet.

You typically see dairy added to tea when it’s made at a very strong concentration, like Indian chai, or Tibetan butter tea, or Mongolian suutei tsai. Sometimes that high concentration is just a flavor preference, but a lot of times it’s done to extract as much nutrient content from the tea as possible. The dairy not only balances the bitter flavor, but it also adds important fat, protein, and calories, making the drink a critical part of the diet in areas with limited nutrients.

I think if it were just a few drops of goat milk being added, it wouldn’t be referred to as “goat milk tea,” so I’m assuming it’s a lot of milk being added—my guess is a 1:1 ratio of milk to water. To me this also says the tea is not locally grown (again, nutrient-poor area), since it’s more common to see tea made with just hot water in tea-growing regions (at least historically, before ice machines and boba lol), where it’s more readily available and people aren’t concerned with getting as much as they can out of the leaves.

I think it’s also safe to say that they trade for tea in livestock, and I would bet it’s horses rather than goats that they trade with, a la the Tea-Horse road.

Of course, it’s possible that there are ppl who do grow tea in the Witchland mountains, esp since there’s only one mountain range on the map. So it depends on whether that’s because this is simply the only significant border-affecting mountain range or if there just aren’t any other mountain-y areas anywhere else. Again I haven’t gotten that far yet, so I’m just leaving room for personal error here. But I would be surprised if tea farms are mentioned anywhere in the book let alone in a place referred to as Witchlands. That’s just my hunch

Anyways I’m going to assume that because this book is only so long, it’s not going to include detailed information on niche topics, so the mention of goat milk tea is, in my opinion, a really efficient means of world building.

[ratherbefangirling]

Fanfic writing asks! 💖

8, 43, 57, 72, 63 💕

Omg I wasn't actually expecting it but thank you so much 💓

Warning this is long

Question list

8. Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

Yoongi peels oranges sitting on the soft rug placed on the carpeted floor. He feeds a bit to everyone. For you though he has reserved a plate of your favourite food so that you can eat it with Namjoon who loves feeding you since he can't cook for you. You always told him it was fine but he just wanted to do something anything for you. So you let him do it. Let yourself be loved.

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

I dream a lot basically I have a string

•This Rapunzel AU where the reader has glasses

• Dragon Namjoon

•Yandere where he isn't originally obsessed with the reader but married to her

• Friend for rent

57. How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

Half conscious. Sometimes I do intend to portray things but a lot of times I leave that weird idea in a wip until it joins with something I later wrote. I very much write on whim for the life of me I cannot write otherwise.

I am very conscious about the moods and If there is a cliffhanger

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

It has to be by @mintsugarmy ; I have told her I'm going to print her comments and put it on my wall, other one on top of my head is @bri-mal because she said if I ever wrote a book she'd get it

(I'm doing this out of memory because I realise I have a bigger masterlist than I realised)

63. What was the hardest part of writing [insert fic]?

Since you've not given any fic I'm going to talk in general. Firstly editing it, I used to write on my computer before but with tumblr it's written on my phone so autocorrect and everything and English not being my native or me not living in a west I feel like I don't know what universe it should be in.

Secondly like loosing motivation, for me story writing is like making a soup. So me writing it at first begins with full of energy then I need to let it simmer in my brain and some soups are easy others aren't and then when I serve the soup the response is so different that it's almost a gamble with myself. Often it feels like do they like my writing or was it fluke it turned out to thier taste.

Like any bts writer knows how maknae line fics easily steal the show and I began writingthinking I should try to make more hyung line to fill the gap but then I wanted to pay them all equal attention.

Also I see a lot of interaction with writers from thier followers that sometimes is disconcerting like what am I doing wrong. Ofcourse I take time to realise there is skill difference and some have been here far longer then I have and there is also the fact where I dont write NSFW but also I write yandere

As writer I can appreciate a growth in my work and I am grateful for the people and connections on this site and I do just like tumblr even without writing. Which is why I'm perpetually online lol.

Recently for my fic Belong I've recieved a lot of attention at first it made me happy. It is supposed to be a comforting fiction so that felt good but it was supposed to be short but a lot of people wanted to read more and I did enjoy writing something with minimal angst or drama. Just a feel good thing but after a while I feel overwhelmed by it and it sometimes feels unfair that the fic I've worked the most on recieves barely any attention as compared to belong. Writing for myself is fun and that is why I keep coming up with new things but it's plainly a lie to say if people's responses don't matter. I always appreciate people who question things about my writing because it means they're paying attention.

I think I got carried away haha. If you reached here thanks for reading.

And to anyone else reading this if you haven't already go check out @aris-ink works.

And I'm socially inept only because I kept reading novels about friends rather than making them so do you want to be mutuals? 💜💜

[captainaikus]

Oh ew the OF accounts and sex bots are completely getting out of hand. I haven’t been notified of any new followers but I don’t trust tumblr to do so. I’m have to gonna check on that soon 🙄🙄.

And seriously for what reason are people flagging down your works for like 😭😭?? It literally makes no sense??? Some people are so rude and mean and spiteful for no reason like. Do better or screw off unintentionally quoting Ego here I’m sorry that this happened to you, it really sucks.

Ever since break started I’ve been in a kind of limbo. It feels so surreal not having any work to do. I mean I do have basic chores to do today like the laundry and vacuuming and stuff but besides that it’s a free day. I am. Very very very. Temped to start reading the blue lock manga. I know I said I’d wait for the anime to finish but like I need something to do 😭😭. I was starting my first TR reread since the last chapter but I only got in 3 chapters before I started sobbing and I haven’t even gotten to Akkuns first death or met Mikey and Draken for the first time again yet. I’m gonna have to chunk my way through it while sobbing and taking so many breaks because I will seriously never recover from this manga. OH AND I LOVE CHIFUYUS BIRTHDAY ART. Wakui continuing to attest that yes takefuyu are still canon in the reset timeline. It’s such a relief for me because those two are my comfort duo 😭😭😭. I also want to finish Chainsaw Man soon. I stopped at around volume 9 because I’m broke and was reading it at the bookstore and all I can say is that this series is definitely getting a reread cause I love analyzing strange works and concepts. THE MAITAKE COVER ASJKGFJKHFFGGG. The way I screeched when I first saw it like. I love how you worded it, they literally look like royalty together UGH. Suffice to say that yes maitake fans has a field day with the cover of volume 31 😌😌. I cant wait for the inside cover to be revealed. My prediction/demand is that it’s gonna be then as children childhood-friends-to-lovers. But I guess we’ll see.

Anyways. How are you Belle? Doing better I hope? How’s uni? Oh and when does your winter break start? How’s life? Im so happy tumblr is being cooperative now and letting you see my tagged posts 😭😭. Sorry for the constant tagging tho, there’s just so much I wanna share and I see something and I’m like “oh I wanna show this to Belle” you know? Oh and im so glad you liked that Oliver drabble 🥹🥹. I’ve got another one in mind for him but this time it might be a little more ✨spicy✨ so stay tuned 👀👀😌. I hope you have a great day and that the caramel frappuccino tasted great!!! *sending many virtual hugs*

- ✨ anon

Istg- i got followed by accounts from Czechia and Carolina this morning. Alright, I made my pinned post of Gojo's OF account but this is a writing blog; not even an OF promotion blog (╥﹏╥) unless... i draw some stuff

Tumblr decided to not let me post my rant- so here’s what I had to say

I revisited my childhood with watching DBZ... (i knew i said i would start one piece but the gym bro-ness got the better of me and i started watching it) someone please explain why does Goku's voice sound... i don't know how to describe it. i was so shocked about his voice, i was planning on watching the dub instead cause of it *crying* Honestly, Wakui did a really good job with the cover. Even when I was reading mangas online - I was so awed by the covers of the manga and when TR was on its peak here, i saw a lot of spoilers for bonten mikey. I never liked mikey... but this made me change my mind. And they (like every cover character i saw up until the Brahman arc looked like royalty. Even hanma-) I'm doing well! Contemplating to change the blog theme for some reason. It's not gonna be aiku ofc- he gets 0 screen time cause he hasn't come back from italy and i am mad at him with part 1 to ocean hues I'm on my winter break actually and omw back home. Fifa knocked the wind out of me. I feel sad cause Mbappé played really well (and he was sad too when they lost), i literally went to go keep my plate and he scored in 97 seconds of the first goal T.T . But i'm also really happy for Argentina cause its the first time in 36 years since Maradona that they have won the Wc and i cried cause they were crying on the field not to mention the fact that Messi played in their team as well - so it was bittersweet ending but also very well deserved! And yes i am a football head I can't see you in my activity still (maybe your visibility switch is off? i'm not sure) but i do get the number on my activity and that's how ik that you're there (⑅ •͈ᴗ•͈ ) I actually don't mind being tagged! and I enjoy the things you have to show me as well ૮⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝ ა (i saw some stuff where you tagged me- i'll be answering those soon, promise i'm not ignoring you ૮(˶˃ᆺ˂˶)ა ) I. absolutely. loved. the Oliver drabble ˃̵ᴗ˂̵. I still read it btw, cause it is absolutely precious. the deer headrest and the fact he wants to be a good boy made me go (๑✪ᆺ✪๑) did you say spicy 💀 *here lies Isabelle Aiku; beloved wife of Oliver Aiku who is unaware that he is married to her- * Starry you're gonna make me combust from the heat *sending back bear hugs*

*my man is so handsome (>﹏<) and yours is too*