#<- i can't even decide which one is which but i KNOW it applies. i feel like they switch
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@queermarzipan
"Leaving Christianity is hard in the US. I get that. But like,,, you don't get to decide what cultural labels apply to you??"
Yes you do get to decide what labels apply to you. Because you know which cultures apply to you better than some rando on the internet who doesn't even know where you're from. Because, for example, I'm neither American nor have I ever been Christian. But people (mostly American theist Jews in my personal experience) still keep telling me I have to be culturally Christian by virtue of being from Latin America because "you can't fucking escape Catholicism in Latin America" (direct quote that I've been told).
According to people who say this it doesn't matter that I've never been Christian, that I was raised secular, that I'm Indigenous from a tribe that prides itself in resisting Christian missionaries, or that the Brazilian relationship with religion is not the same as how it is in the US. My experiences (which is how one determines one's culture last I checked) are supposedly irrelevant compared to those of randos on the internet.
It's at best American defaultism.
"...you'd need a pretty significant conversion to another culture to shed a cultural label."
Except I never left secular culture yet people want to say my culture is Christian. I was raised secular from birth. That means something.
As @taboomonster123 already said, atheists have their own culture. That includes the fact that we have our own way of raising kids. I have no idea what being raised Christian would even entail beyond what I've heard from people who were raised Christian.
"Culturally Christian atheism still sees Saturday and Sunday as the weekend"
I'm unaware of a single modern country on the planet that doesn't have Saturday and Sunday as the weekend. Do you?
And by the way, in Latin America, we don't consider Sunday to be the first day of the week, we consider it to be Monday. Because Saturday and Sunday are the weekend.
"...still considers Home Alone a "traditional holiday movie""
a) It is a holiday movie in the sense that it's set during a holiday. In the same sense that a movie set during Hannukah is a holiday movie too.
b) Again, American defaultism. Not everyone thinks of Home Alone when they think of "traditional" Christmas movies. I, for example, would think of Turma da Mônica e a estrela mágica.
"...still celebrates Christmas..."
So do a lot of Jews (almost 3 in 10 Jews in the UK put up Christmas trees) and Muslims (One of the parents at the school that I work at was telling me all about how they celebrate Christmas at her house. And she's Muslim).
Christmas at atheist houses have nothing to do with Jesus whatsoever.
Are people who put up wreaths now culturally Celtic Pagan?
"...and individual saints' days (St. Valentine comes particularly to mind)..."
Again, American defaultism. No one in Brazil celebrates St. Valentine's Day. Not even Christians.
Instead, we have Dia dos Namorados (Lovers' Day) which is on another date altogether and unrelated to any saints.
The closest thing to a saint holiday we DO have (Festa Junina) is celebrated by everyone, including theists of different stripes.
"There are a million ways in which Christian norms are baked into the societies of Christian countries"
The norms in YOUR country are not universal. How people interact with religion, let alone Christianity, is NOT universal.
Cultural Christianity: Some Thoughts
The question of whether someone can be both an atheist and a Christian is relevant only in some very specific contexts. In theocratically Christian countries (which has been the normative way to Do Government in Christendom for most of its history), apostasy is literally a crime; if you're an atheist in one of those places you're probably going to keep your mouth shut about it and if you do open it you can expect to be repudiated by your former community.
In countries that aren't theocratically Christian, Christianity frequently functions at least in part as an ethnic indicator. In Northern Ireland it makes sense to ask an atheist whether she's a Catholic or a Protestant atheist. In places where Christians are a minority, they are frequently an ethnic minority, and that will be bound up in their culture.
The only places where the question is relevant are some culturally Christian countries that are not theocratic and where for the most part Christian membership is not ethnically marked. In the United States (which is what I'll be focusing on), that means white American Protestants. (And not even all of them. A born-in Jehovah's Witness may be a white American Protestant, but her culture is definitely not the dominant Christian culture in this country.)
One of the weirder things about this debate, to me, is that on tumblr this debate seems to be largely between gentile atheists and Jews. It's not something I see coming from Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, or Sikhs. It's definitely not something that Christians care about.
As far as I can tell, no one is arguing that the United States is not dominated by (white American Protestant) Christian culture or that everyone who lives here is not to some degree affected by that. The debate seems very much to be about whether a specific person can (or should) be called a cultural Christian.
There are, obviously, some atheists who accept the label. Richard Dawkins is the obvious example (and I'd argue that Dawkins' embrace of the label should give people pause in applying it to others). Those atheists are not part of the debate. They have already been convinced that the term can (and should) be applied to them.
Notably missing from the debate is whether members of other religious minorities can (or should) be called cultural Christians. If I'm raised a Reform Jew in a Christian-majority area and go to a public school, I will be almost as exposed to Christian culture as someone raised a Methodist. But no one is arguing that assimilated or partially-assimilated Jews (and I'd argue that almost all non-Haredim are to some extent partially assimilated) should be called cultural Christians.
The atheists have noticed that. And they really don't like it. The implication it carries is that anyone raised (white American Protestant) Christian will remain so, unless they convert to a different religion and atheism doesn't count.
But the fact that it rankles doesn't mean it's not true. However, it does mean that a lot of atheists see the application of the term to themselves as a denial of their atheism and of the significant work it took to leave Christianity. Because in the United States, even now, leaving Christianity is hard. In some cases it's dangerous, but more commonly it "just" means risking the loss of your entire network of friends and family. This is less so today than it was, say, forty years ago, but it's still a thing.
Further, atheists in the US are a minority religious group. One that experiences oppression and suppression by the dominant religious group. Calling an atheist a cultural Christian identifies her with the group that is actively oppressing her. Which is bound to raise some hackles.
I don't really have a conclusion here. My sense is that applying the term "cultural Christian" to people who don't like it is, at best, counterproductive and, at worst, a microaggression. It doesn't seem to be helping anybody to use it in those cases and may be counterproductive to a discussion of the hegemony white American Protestantism has over US culture. Which is a conversation that is more important now than it has been in decades.
#atheism#christianity#religion#abrahamic religions#american defaultism#the united states#culturally christian#theism#american culture#brazil#brazilian culture#atheist culture#secular atheist#the united states of america#religious culture#the weekend#latino culture#i'm just saying
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ENOUGH with adhd x autism ships I wanna see high empathy autistic who loves everything and everyone and cries when they step on a bug x low empathy autistic who picks like 5 things they would literally die for and everything else is just meh whatever
#this too is#twelveclara#<- i can't even decide which one is which but i KNOW it applies. i feel like they switch#kimharry#hilson#doctor who#disco elysium#house md#the doctor#clara oswald#harry du bois#kim kitsuragi#james wilson#gregory house#fandom ramblings#ship dynamics#ao3
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two jobs that I would genuinely like to do applied for, and two more that are a solid 8/10 to go before I leave for my penguin holiday
#much as I hate the current cycle of 'oh you have a free evening? better write an application'#it *is* less depressing to know I still have active applications when the rejections come in#now to decide whether I bother applying for the silly 7hrs/week one at Cool Employer#it would pair very nicely with the one other part-time thing I'm applying to but the danger is *only* getting the 7hrs#which I can't live on and which would be exhausting to the point of collapse on top of my current job(s)
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why is it so hard to recognize that all this info about bills and such is something you can acquire via googling and making phone calls to people who work in these departments and--yes!--asking them questions on what your best next step is? how does making this about systemic oppression help you or anyone else complete practical, adult tasks? when you point at a paper bill from a medical institution and declare it fundamentally classist, does the bill magically crumple into the dust, the issue dealt with and over because you aptly named the systemic issue at play? no!
do you get angry at mechanics when they tell you they have an idea regarding how your car could be fixed, also? how does that help you? what have you learned from deciding to be angry as opposed to using the information dealt to you? perhaps you should not be told by cashiers either about when the sales happen or how items are put on clearance lest their Insider Knowledge tell you something you don't know and--gasp--come from a place of privilege.
the point of my info and OP's is practical use. "if you have this problem, [x] might solve it." privilege or no, how the info is acquired doesn't matter as much as whether or not it's accurate and helps people. and despite your daftness, i very much hope any of this info helps YOU. or if not you, then someone you know. or someone completely random, i don't give a damn.
Ok so my kid had an ear infection, right? As kids often do.
The doctor scraped out a bit of earwax to have a better look inside.
I was sent a bill for $200 PER EAR for this 5 second procedure which I did not give permission for them to do.
That was key- they did not ASK me if they could do this "procedure". And, as I OWN a medical practice (it's me. The medical practice is me, sitting in my house on video calls) I knew to call them when this bill came in to be like "You did not obtain informed consent for this procedure, and it was not en emergency procedure. You had full ability to gain my consent and didn't. I'm not paying."
And the massive hospital who owned the bill said "yuh-huh you do have to pay."
And I said "I own a practice. I know these laws. I do not owe you money for this."
And they conducted an "internal review" and SURPRISE! Decided I totally owed them money and they had never done anything wrong ever.
And so I called my state's Attorney General office, and explained the situation because, as I mentioned, I know the law. The AG got in touch within a couple days to say they were taking the case and would send the massive hospital conglomerate a knock it off, guys letter.
Lo and Behold, today I have a letter where said hospital graciously has agreed to forfeit the payment.
"How not to get screwed over by companies" should be part of civics class.
Know your rights and know who to call when they're infringed on. This whole process cost me $0 and honestly less effort than I would have expected.
May this knowledge find its way to someone else who can use it.
#the interest in ... what#wanting to talk theory or contemplate classism#over just taking the info and using it#is just stupid#there's a time for theory and then there's a time#for using your head.#some problems exist in the real world and need solving now#and other problems are the kinds of things you write essays about because they're not currently an active threat to you#and if you are focusing on writing essays about systemic issues rather than applying practical fixes available to you#do you think yelling to a void will whisk your problems away?#i didn't learn anything about insurance by being in healthcare b/c that's not my job and my job has nothing to do with that#maybe if i worked in the billing department you could attempt to say something about privelige then but EVEN then#privilege ... what???? where's the systemic privelige you cyclops i'm trying to share info with you#not use what i've seen at my job to privately benefit just myself at the expense of others#with intent to ensure others don't have access to it#in fact the reason i even bothered telling you (as i have told many others IRL) is so other people could know and use the same info#aka leveling the playing field/spreading the wealth etc.#bah. it doesn't matter. or more specifically you don't matter. you seem like the sort of#person who would attempt#to drown themself in a fish bowl in an attempt to angrily prove a point#that ultimately effects no one and only harms yourself#you can lead the horse to water but you can't make it drink etc etc#you are a horse fleeing a creek at top speed neighing angrily all the way about how someone knowing about the creek is privelige#what on earth do you think you're proving you clown#things i've actually learned at my job: what happens behind the scenes when it's decided you are an Emergency emergency case and need#to be operated on in less than 2 hours lest you die#and the sheer magnitude of how many people on all levels get involved to make that happen#the amount of phone calls that made and so on and so forth#and how to tell someone at a hospital that you want to go somewhere else#which is something your average person does 24/7 my info is just Yeah Keep Insisting Till It Happens
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I saw a post on Instagram that listed "enemies to lovers" books/films, and next to the usual Pride and Prejudice and Red White and Royal Blue there was Me Before You.
#enemies to lovers#tropes#like i don't think even p&p applies but maybe for low stakes example?#those 2 in rwarb were 'enemies' for all of 5 minutes#i don't really think in tropes so maybe it's me who misunderstands#but i'm pretty sure mby isn't it#it's just a bad story. period#how are they 'lovers' when he kills himself???#i've seen someone compare it to beauty and the beast#can't decide which one is stupider#is louisa the beauty? or is will?#actually. the one classic lit book i'd compare it to is jane eyre#tho it feels like a disservice to jane eyre and you know i have a whole heresy sideblog for that book#bc it feels like author wanted to write a historical romance but lacked skills & couldn't be bothered with research#anyway#mypost
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I was 100% thinking of the Shinsengumi when the brainrot struck, but let us assume a more generic, unnamed circumstance for this. Random, uh, elite group of swordsmen working for the shogunate in the Edo period. Here's the awkward, horny himbo I had previously mentioned. Content: female reader, historical setting, crossdressing, NSFW
Yandere!Captain commands his group with an iron grip. Many people in the Capital know his name, whether it's fellow warriors or petty merchants, and not without reason. His unmatched skill with a sword had even reached the ears of the court, and he was quickly appointed as the head of a newly formed group of samurai meant to maintain order in the city.
As if keeping hot-blooded thugs under control wasn't enough, he is now stuck with an even bigger issue: you.
"We can't have women in here", he declares with a grimace.
"I can pretend", you counter stubbornly, pulling your hakama pants up by the sash, almost in an act of defiance. "In fact, I don't see any woman here. I came to apply."
Yandere!Captain’s reputation does not only revolve around his intimidating strength. Among his underlings, he is known for being completely and utterly uninterested when it comes to women. Will he join his group for drinks after a long day of work? Absolutely. But that’s where the fun stops. When the others begin to slip away with smiling courtesans, he remains at the table with a somber countenance. It is a running joke that nothing can deter this man from his duty.
Thus, your presence at the headquarters should make no difference. He had to begrudgingly accept that you spoke the truth when you'd said you can handle a sword. It's not uncommon for women to keep a small tanto underneath their obi for additional protection, but your knowledge doesn't stop there. You arrived with your own katana and backup wakizashi, swiftly proving their worth upon your first city round when you slashed the arm off a street hooligan.
Well, that's one less worry for the captain. Except, to his great shame, it's not as simple as that. He is the only one aware of your secret, which means that he is the only one available outside of working hours. He was terrified to discover the hesitation in his hands when bandaging your ribs after a stabbing incident, or the halt in his step when he happened to find you switching to a night gown. Oh, how deplorable! Have his morals crumbled into nothing? His latest perverted thought nearly caused him to draw a blade across his stomach.
It is with this faltering confidence that he greets you before the bath one evening.
“You don’t have to do this”, you tell him. "I can wait until you're done."
His struggles haven't escaped your observant eye. You were initially amused by his rather obvious awkwardness; then, a certain idea insidiously made its way into your mind, impossibly tempting: for how long could he keep this façade?
You find yourself going out of your way just to tease your poor captain, perhaps secretly hoping he'll soon break down and give in to his yearning.
“They will become suspicious if you never join us. I do not care for your nudity. Undress at ease”, he says, throwing away his own towel and lowering himself into the hot water. “Get in whenever you want.”
If he insists.
You nonchalantly follow suit, sitting across from him with your arms resting against the rocky edge of the hot spring. You can tell his eyes have wandered involuntarily. His face is red, and he’s wearing a humiliated frown.
“You’re awfully quiet, Sir.”
His lips are pursed indeed. The tall man shuffles briefly, avoiding your gaze. A smirk crosses your features as you decide to approach him.
"In fact, I'd go as far as you say that you're in dire need of help."
To your surprise, he doesn't protest when your hands stray to his lower half, feeling up and down his erection. The small grunts escaping his mouth encourage you to pick up the pace, now equally aroused.
Soon, you feel his heavy arm wrapping around your waist, forcefully throwing you out of the water and onto the cold ground. You open your mouth to complain, but it's quickly shut back by his hot lips, suckling and biting in a desperate hunger to have you.
“It’s improper for a subordinate to take the lead”, he finally says in a low, breaking voice.
He can only hope no one else decides to use the hot springs, though that’s as far as his concern currently goes. He’s much too preoccupied with other pressing matters, holding onto your folded legs for support as he thrusts into you in a depraved, delirious need. His movements are jerky and erratic, with an almost predatory glimmer in his eyes. You wonder how often he imagined this happening. All of his shame and guilt, coming undone at once.
Days later, during one of the hangouts, you find him whispering to one of the courtesans.
“What, you suddenly have a taste for women now?” you question discreetly, unable to hold your tongue.
You’d hoped to be on the receiving end of any future lust-driven gestures from the captain, not some common worker.
He appears to hesitate, twiddling his thumbs and glancing away.
“I was just…asking how you properly please a woman”, he finally confesses.
If he’s going to continue fucking his subordinate behind everyone’s back, he may as well do a good job while at it.
[More Original Works] | [Yan!Swordsman Concept]
#yandere swordsman#yandere captain#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#yandere x you#yandere scenarios#yandere imagines#yandere smut#smut
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Let's delve into...

Look, I know you don't like to fail. I KNOW. Neither do I. But do you know who will—and should—fail a lot? YES, your characters! Failure does all the nifty things writing teachers promise us will keep the story interesting: raise the stakes, bring emotions to a boil, and keep things from stagnating and/or getting predictable. Triumphs have their place, and should be present (unless you enjoy metaphorically kicking your readers in the shins, which, hey, more power to you!) but your characters can't always win. That's boring, and unfortunately, boring is the biggest noncriminal sin in entertainment. The good news is that, when your character does win, their previous failure is going to make it all the more satisfying. Doesn't that make you want to nail that failure for maximum improvability? (Hey I HEARD YOU rolling your eyes just now. Rhetorical questions are NOT cringe. Rude.)
So, what do I mean by a "good failure"?
Basically, when they mess up naturally, because of their own choices, in a way that reflects their flaws. "But wait," I hear you say, "does that exclude the possibility of an external circumstance making for a good catalysts for failure?" Nope! There are no hard and fast rules in writing, and shit does, indeed, just happen sometimes. Happen poignantly, even. But your character can't be entirely blameless in every scenario because then things get *taps on chalkboard* BORING. Seriously, consequences are so cool, I promise.
Okay then, why do I want a good failure?
Emotional resonance: do you remember that time you studied hard and still failed the test? Betcha that felt real bad. Yeah, it's that, but magnified by however many people died (or were sad about it! The stakes don't always need to be cataclysmic).
Catalyst for organic growth: do you remember how failing that test made you decide never to pull an all-nighter cramming again? Perhaps even reassess your relationship with God, your identity, and your place in the universe? Yep. And it felt earned, too. Huh.
Narrative depth: how mad were your parents about that test? And how much did it suck getting your Nintendo taken away because of it? That was compelling, realistic tension, baby! It put you right on the—unfun, but necessary—path to making that eventual success feel meaningful. Yay.
Relatability: you know, I felt kinda bad writing all that stuff about how failing that test wrecked you. Because I have empathy, certainly, but also because I've been there too! Mistakes are human, and few things are more effective at humanizing someone than making them an honorary cringefail loser. (This holds especially true if they're usually the god king of being hot and correct, btw.)
Fine, so how do I go about writing that?
Foreshadowing: why, yes, everything DOES always come back to foreshadowing. Good catch! See, foreshadowing marks the difference between a failure being contrived and awkward, and landing because it was tragically inevitable. The character has been making bad decisions that will come back to bite them all book, and the time for gleaning lessons from the teeth marks on their ass is now.
Make the failure specific and personal: sure, failing a test is a universal experience, but failing the most important test ever conceived in the history of mankind and if you fail your mom will hate you and your girlfriend will leave you and you'll go bald isn't. Make 'em feel it where it hurts!
Consequences: internal or external, they better be tailormade to catalyze change. Be it damaged interpersonal relationships or crippling self-doubt, they better not walk away from their mess-up willing to do it again. (NOTE: exceptions may apply in negative character arcs, but even then, the next time they make that mistake, it shouldn't be the exact same one again. It should be so, so much worse.)
Redemption: following on from the last point—make it a turning point! Show me how things are fifty kinds of broken now and how your character plans on rebuilding the mess using the tools they just got from chucking the toolbox full-tilt at their lives.
Examples be upon ye:
Simba in The Lion King: hopefully we can all agree that thinking you caused your father's death is a valid reason to crash out. However, the important thing here is that the crash-out was not eternal. It allowed for an emotional development cooldown period, and when it did end, empowered Simba to make his triumphant return all the more triumphant. Do you think smacking his geriatric uncle off a mountain would've been half as hot if his emotional arc and subsequent redemption had been underbaked? No. Literally. C'mon, lock in.
Zuko in Avatar: The Last Airbender: ahh yes, the king of redemption arcs, which kinda also makes him the king of cringefailing (both externally and internally! Very illustrative, thank you, Zuko). But I bet you don't just remember his struggle with capturing Aang. In fact, I'd bet quite a few buckaroos what you most remember is his struggle with honor. Could it be because you're grateful for what each setback did to help him find his? What about how they taught him that true honor was internally cultivated rather than externally conferred? And the fact that he chose to help the person whom he'd vowed to destroy in order to get it, for which he used the tools he painstakingly won throughout his arc? Hmm. Perchance. See what I mean? It just feels right when things come full circle, and boy is a good failure shaped like zero!
Ultimately, I hope you found something useful here and that, the next time you're down in the trenches of narrative predictability and character stagnation, you consider pissing in their metaphorical coffees. Thank you!
Happy writing!
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Rare non-kink-taxonomy-hell ask: your description of Sorrowverse Joker as actually good at manipulation and gaslighting, to the point where the act he puts on might sometimes resemble Therapy Joker, has actually made me interested in a version of the Joker. Which has never happened before. Could we hear more about him/this aspect of him? Love your writing btw
what if we had a rare limited-time crossover event
✧・゚: ✧・゚: 🤡:・゚✧:・゚✧
"Helloooooo nurse."
"Don't whistle," she snapped, shutting the door. "I'm doing you a favor," she reminded him.
"I thought you were recognizing that denying me cosmetics had no purpose but to dehumanize me," he said.
"You know what I mean," she said, pushing her glasses higher on her nose. "And I'm not a nurse." She pulled the sparkly pencil case she'd brought from the pocket of her coat to offer it to him.
He did not so much rise from his bed as unfold. A spider of a man, all long spindly limbs in ill-fitting pale pink. With all the green of the rest of him, it made him look floral, a mop of green hair and his eyes pastel. Even the white of his skin had a green tinge on closer inspection. She'd been sure it reminded her of something and had spent hours online trying to find it. She'd decided on a small emerald moth, staring at stock photos of delicate wings almost translucent and trying to remember where she ever could have seen one.
Charming as a bouquet full of insects.
He plucked the bag from her hand and pulled what looked like a butterfly knife from inside. He grinned, and when he did his face seemed to grow twice as long and half of it teeth. Gleaming purple metal spun between long fingers, but when he pointed it at her to watch her recoil, it had the teeth of a comb. He waggled his eyebrows at her before running it through his hair, using both hands and raising his elbows much higher than necessary so his shirt rode up. She pressed her lips together rather than dignify the performance with a response.
His eyebrows were still pristine and had been since he'd been admitted. Precise arches with edges razor-sharp.
Without products to keep it in place, his hair fell back down at an angle from his widow's peak. "Don't pretend I'm not funny, Dr. Quinn," he said, metal twirling between his fingers again.
"Quinzel," she corrected.
"Nurse Harlequin," he said, rummaging through the limited personal effects she'd brought him. It was absurd to refuse anyone these few small comforts. She'd always thought so. It was punitive, the way they denied any dignity to anyone they were meant to be treating.
There but for the grace of God, she thought and tried not to.
"I don't have a mirror," he declared, holding a red vial she was sure could not be blood. He reached out to touch beneath her chin. "Hold still."
"Mr. J," she warned, refusing as she always did to refer to him by the only name they had for him.
"I love it when you call me that," he said with relish, using her glasses as a mirror to apply tint to his lips with a wand. "Say it again, doll."
"If they catch you wearing lipstick—"
"It's stain," he said dismissively. "They can't prove it. For all they know I got this the old-fashioned way, sucking dick in the bathroom again."
"Agai—"
"Excellent work, Harley," he said, and then his lips were on hers. She made a muffled sound of indignation and was careful not to move. He'd done this before, the first time they'd met, when he'd learned her name and had a good laugh about it. She'd slapped him for it then, hadn't protested when they'd put him in isolation for it. "Aw," he said as he pulled away, touching her lower lip. "I know it hadn't dried yet, but it doesn't show on you, does it?"
It was only stain, but his skin was so pale the red popped, his grin grotesque. A caricature of something unwholesome, white as a sheet and a mouth like a minstrel, too dark a thought to trust. It was hard not to think the worst of people, ascribe symbolism to nothing at all, fall into spirals. Enough real dog whistles without her inventing new ones.
"That's unacceptable behavior," she said, "and that's not my name."
"You don't call me by my name," he said, tapping the tip of her nose, "and I don't call you by yours." He dropped the pencil case back into her hands before she realized what he was doing, and she had to scramble to catch it in time. "Besides, you seem like a good ride." He made an exaggerated handlebar-revving gesture with both hands and winked as he stepped away from her. Something Fred Astaire in his footwork when he walked. She was careful to stay where she was, tucking the contraband back into her pocket.
"Do you harass all your doctors this way?" she asked pointedly, fixing her glasses again.
"Aggressively," he confirmed as he fell back into his bed. "The rest of them don't like it as much as you do, naughty girl." He sprawled sideways, propping his head up in a pose that might have been provocative if he'd had a curve anywhere but the jutting bones that slotted his hands into his forearms. "It's why they locked me up for being a deviant," he said with a limp-wristed gesture.
"They locked you up for killing people," she corrected.
"They were rich," he scoffed. "That doesn't count as people." Her nose crinkled, pressing her lips together again rather than do anything he'd interpret as a laugh. "You can tell because they didn't send me to prison."
"They didn't send you to prison because Gotham's justice system is fucked," she said. Arkham was privately owned with a budget inflated by charitable donations. It was inevitable that expensive-looking criminals were judged criminally insane, the worst of their excesses no longer a taxpayer problem.
He cocked his head. "Do I look sane to you?" he asked.
"Sane doesn't look like anything," she said. "We both know you knew what you were doing, and there's no medical intervention that would make you behave differently."
He grinned, too wide, too many teeth. She tilted her head a little, only enough to see around the edge of her glasses and confirm that his mouth blurred. "Yet here you are," he said.
"Rehabilitation isn't the exclusive domain of the medically impaired."
This job had been a nightmare from the beginning. Every day in large and small ways it wore her down, an endless river of bullshit trying to smooth down every part of her that believed in anything. No accountability, barely treatment, shifts too long with coworkers as sick as the patients. Less like doctors with patients and more like researchers with lab rats. Rubber stamps and no rocked boats and no goals greater than the status quo. Cameras easily bypassed by any employee who cared to, for whatever reason struck their whim. Her no better.
She should have done more. Her job shouldn't have been worth more than her principles. She could have done more than this, makeup and candy and burner phones in her pockets. She kept notes and told herself she'd blow the whistle someday. She kept her head down and kept her health insurance and knew herself for a traitor.
"Come closer," he said, gesturing with his fingers.
She was halfway across the room before she thought to stop and ask, "Why?"
He was grinning again. "Because I wanted to see if you would," he said, and at the look on her face he threw his head back to cackle. She pressed her nails into her palms and felt her face burn. "This might sound racist," he began.
"Then don't," she warned.
"No, no, it's not like that, I just—"
"Don't."
"I can't tell if you're blushing!" he said, exasperated. He swung his legs around to sit upright, his knees a mile apart. "That's all I was going to say, honestly. Is that bad? You can tell me if it's bad."
"I would call that an 'inside thought'," she said, still blushing. He cackled again.
"Really, though," he said, crooking his fingers again, "you should come over here."
"Why?" she asked first this time.
"So I can kiss you stupid," he said.
Her face felt hot again. "I'm not doing that."
He rolled his eyes so dramatically it took his whole face with it. "I have to come over there?" he asked rhetorically, gesturing at her. "Come on, now, doll. Give yourself a little agency, here. I'm locked up. You get to leave. That little love tap earlier was fine, there were cameras on, I get it, kind of hot if I'm honest, pretty into that. But I've got limits too, you know. You want me to play the big bad taking advantage, that's fine, I'm into it, but trust's a two-way street. Get over here and make it clear you know what you're here for, yeah? Despite what your bosses think, I'm not actually an animal. I'm not sitting here waiting for pretty girls to maim."
"I don't think that," she said, defensive.
"Naw," he said, "you're just coming in here when you're not supposed to be and standing in grabbing range, waiting for nothing to happen. Get over here or leave, I'm not going anywhere."
She half-turned, looking at the doorknob, but hesitated. She wanted the last word, but didn't have one ready and her throat was dry regardless. She felt sick.
"You're real scared I'm gonna laugh at you, huh?" he asked, and she whipped her head around to stare at him. He was leaning forward, chin on his fist, watching her. The pale shade of his eyes made it more predatory than it otherwise would have been. His smile was a wry gash across his face. "That happen a lot?" he asked, cocking his head. "Men telling you you're pretty as a prank, asking you out to make fun when you believed it?" She scowled, and his smile split into a grin. "Awww. Poor l'il Harley. C'mere, then. You wanna make a show of being vulnerable, be vulnerable. Least you can do, don't you think?"
The worst part was realizing, the moment he said it, that it was the thing she most dreaded. That he'd laugh at her for believing him.
She came close enough to stand between his knees, but couldn't bring herself to make eye contact. She looked at the hole in his ear where they hadn't let him keep his earrings, instead.
"There's a doll," he said, grabbing her wrist and yanking so she'd fall into his lap. She narrowly avoided her knee hitting him somewhere awkward. She was distracted by how bony his thighs felt compared to hers, all his limbs too thin as his arms went around her waist. He kissed beneath her ear, and she thought of his mouth, the wide span of it and all those teeth at her throat. "Doesn't being honest with yourself feel better?" he asked against her skin.
"This is very, very bad," she breathed, her voice shaking. Her own body heat was mortifying. He felt halfway to a corpse.
"Awww, don't be like that," he said, and she could feel him smiling. All those teeth. "What's the worst that could happen?"
#original#fanfic#a funny thing about sorrowverse is that i have been writing it for so long that some of my concerns are no longer valid#for instance i was hesitant to write any harley origins because i did not want to have to explain what bimbofication was#but now that's significantly more mainstream so. crisis averted?#unfortunately sorrowverse joker does kind of feel like a hate crime. sorry.#does anyone else find edgelord scumbag dom to be a relatable bad decision. is it just me. am i telling on myself.#have not decided if i'll archive this yet. that feels like a commitment.
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how do you think the cod men would react to you hiding an injury (from a mission) from them?
(annoyed i had a draft of this ready but my laptop decided to act up and i lost it, so i had to rewrite it again)
𓆩♡𓆪 Headcanon: Hiding An Injury From Them

ઇଓ Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves, Makarov, Keegan, König, Horangi, Nikto
Price
it wasn't until after the mission that he noticed you clutching your side, your hand curved protectively over the wound that was surely getting worse by the minute or so he feared
he insisted on taking you to the medic right away, and as you were being examined he stayed right outside the room, he really wished you had told him, he was captain so he had to know if one of his had been injured
you were left to rest but the next day he came back, when you awoke he was there by your bedside, "why didn't you tell me?"
he just wants you to know that you need to trust him, he's more worried than anything on why you didn't come to him, did you not trust him?
Ghost
while you were seeking shelter he noticed the way you limped, you hadn't said anything but anyone who looked at you could see how terribly you tried to hide your pain
he sighs and trudges towards you, as if annoyed he has to do this, but he takes you aside and has you show him the injury, it wasn't as bad as he thought it was which is why he's a little relieved
as he bandages you up he's mostly silent, he wanted to scold you, to say something to get this feeling off his chest but when you gasp in pain when his fingers apply too much pressure he can't bring himself to be annoyed at you
you're left feeling the phantom touch of his fingers and how he gentled when he saw you wince in pain
Soap
you two were almost always assigned together or ended up finding one another and watching each other's back, so you were always in his subconscious; he just couldn't let anything happen to you
yet, in the blink of an eye it had happened, you brushed it off as being just fine, that it was only the debris and nothing more, nothing vital had been hit
but when you went back to base and he didn't see you around for a couple of days and found out you had been sent to recovery he rushed to find you, "you told me you were fine!", and he's upset you weren't honest when he asked
you two were a team...always working together so he definitely gets cross about the matter for a little while afterwards but not for long because he's still checking up and asking how you're holding up
Gaz
when you were a rookie you went to him for almost everything, he was the one you felt safest with and he had treated you with the most respect even if you were still learning and made mistakes
so he couldn't help but feel forgotten or sidelined when you didn't tell him about your injury, in fact, you weren't planning on telling anyone because you didn't want to make a 'big deal' out of it, you had been doing so well and you didn't want anyone to know you had messed up
yet, he found you taking painkillers and stuffing rags of blood down to the bottom of the trashcan, "how long have you been covering this?!" as he rushed to take care of it for you
he was stunned to find out you had been trying to take care of it yourself, still he remained patient as he somewhat understand why you did it
Roach
he went into panic thinking something worse would happen if you didn't tell someone right away, but you tried to tell him it wasn't that bad as a knife was sticking out of your leg
neither of you knew what to do other than informing someone, as help was on the way he shushed you and was 'calming' you down when you weren't even showing distress
he loves being helpful when he can so he stuck around to see if there was anything you needed whether that be emotional support or medicine; he was ready to help
Alejandro
he'd mutter a few curses before ordering some soldiers around to get an emergency kit, you try to move into a more comfortable position but he scolds you to hold it, you're making it worse
"this is serious you idiot, stuff like this can't be held off until later" and he might go off into a long rant but really he's trying to distract his mind as he cleans your wound and wraps it
he implements a new rule; everyone must report what they're doing or what has happened to them at all times during a mission, doesn't matter if they're taking a dump or if they got a papercut they gotta report that too
really he's just worried you'll get hurt and he won't be there in time to aid you
Rudy
he's all over you, anxious and troubled that one, you were injured and second, you were intentionally hiding it from him! he's more disappointed than anything
"i'm so sorry, you'll be fine.. i promise" he comforts as you're being patched up and treated, it probably hurt him more than you but you swear he's being a little over the top
back at base, there is not a day that goes by without him coming by to see you and bringing something for you, he doesn't even get mad at you for trying to hide the injury from him, he most likely forgot
Phillip Graves
"no, no- fuck, why?!" he focused in on solely you when a soldier told him about the injury you were trying to hide, but he cares too much, and you've seen how he is with his Shadows, of course he wouldn't let something like this slip by him
doesn't matter if you can walk yourself but you're not doing anything without assistance anymore until you're completely healed, it's sort of heartwarming in a way
he makes it very clear that this doesn't happen again, and you think he's talking about the injury but no he's referring to you hiding that you're hurt, he doesn't mind offering help he just doesn't want you suffering in silence
Makarov
he can't help but feel guilty, he should've known the risk for sending you out there and now the result is you needing emergency care, thankfully you weren't in too much pain
still, to him this is very serious, "this is serious! tell me what happened, who did it?", he's ready to go out there and find the bastard who had the audacity to do this, but you tell him it was kind of your own fault because everything had gone well it was actually due to your clumsiness that you had stumbled and hurt yourself on the way back
he doesn't know if that's another lie but since you seem better now he'll take it
Keegan
you've seen how much he yells during missions, so you know you're in for a reprimand the moment he figures out you're hurt, it's just a matter of time until he notices
strangely, when he does notice the blood through your clothes his eyes only widen as he points out the stained cloth and then gets to work silently as he uncovers the wound
you nervously try to tell him it's not that bad and he shouldn't be fussing over it but he just rolls his eyes, "not that bad you say? are you even looking at it?"
yeah it was pretty bad
König
he gets nervous the moment you show the slightest sign of discomfort so it's no strange that you'd hide an injury he's surely freak out over, you just don't want to cause him to lose focus
little do you know, the other soldiers are his eyes and ears as they report to him your injuries, he comes and says it's best you go back to base a little earlier, you protest thinking it's not fair that the others have sustained worse injuries yet they still have to keep going forward with the mission
but he just wants to prevent you from getting hurt worse and being so far away from a medic who could treat you end up with terrible health complications
Horangi
you and him tended to play around during missions, as if not taking them seriously, until it resulted in you getting hurt, he went serious after that even though to tried brushing it off
he could see you tense up a bit, your body sensitive to the throbbing pain that was begging to be taken care of, you needed rest and you weren't going to give it what it needed, he really wished he could be more caring and nurturing in this moment
he can only tell you to breathe slowly, to focus on the stars above you right now and hope you got to a medic soon, he wants you to realize you're not fine and that this could have been prevented, if only he had been more on guard
Nikto
he's seen people get their arm blown off, maybe even lose a leg and he barely bats an eye at it, so why is he constantly looking over at you who seems to be suppressing pain?
to him if blood isn't noticeable then it's no reason for alarm, and even then a little blood never hurt anyone, but your throbbing pain only gets stronger and he can see it in your eyes, the desperation and how you wish you had painkillers right now
while everyone else is asleep he orders you to tell him what's hurting and he tries his best to take care of it, he's built a high pain tolerance over the years but will feel disquieted when you appear worn out
#captain price#price x reader#simon ghost riley#simon x reader#john soap mactavish#soap x reader#kyle gaz garrick#gaz x reader#gary roach sanderson#roach x reader#alejandro vargas#alejandro x reader#rodolfo parra#rudy x reader#phillip graves x reader#vladimir makarov#makarov x reader#keegan p russ#keegan x reader#konig x reader#kim horangi hong jin#horangi x reader#andre nikto#nikto x reader#cod fanfic#cod headcanons
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Credits to the idea:
Batfam X Neglected Reader ( Squid Games)
Creds to the dividers: (?)
The Winner Takes It All by ABBA
When do humans get so desperate they give up their own lives for that small chance of money?

Money is a category in your history class dedicated to why money is the basis of your life. Economy.
I first witnessed someone leave everything had for money, my mother. When I was 5, I didn't know why my mother was leaving the manor with a huge suitcase, filled with cash.
My mother engaged to Bruce Wayne who only allowed her in as they procreated me. In her words, both sides should take responsibility, it takes two to tango, and why should she be the only one to deal with the consequences.
Which now is very hypocritical as she ran away taking everything but me.
I didn't want sympathy, but I didn't want to be treated like dirt for a mistake I didn't make.
For the next 13 years of my life, I tried to stay on the down low, no matter how many dirty looks, and the insults, not even when Damian would hurt me.
I just hoped they wouldn't mind if I stayed with them a little longer until I could find a stable way to leave.
That hope burst when Alfred came to my room and told me “Master Bruce has decided to kick you out and disown you, I'm so sorry, [name].”
I tried to somehow make it, promising myself, it was going to be okay.
I got into college, and the debt collected from that was massive, so I had to go get loans at the bank, and then get into a part-time job, but every day seemed like we were always getting robbed. My manager had no choice but to let me go.
“I'm sorry, sugar, but we aren't pulling in enough customers and I can't afford to keep too many employees, there's no easy way to say this but, you have to quit. I don't want to fire you, it'd look bad for any job you'd apply for next.”
I held onto her hand like a lifeline I begged and pleaded with no avail.
I tucked my tail in and went to the Wayne manor.
"Um, It's [name], could I... um..." I swallowed my words, afraid to say them, I mean, this was humiliating, 13 years since I'd seen them and the first thing I asked for was cash? "... borrow some money."
No surprise I was rejected, but that didn't hurt me it was the comments, how I was so much like my mother.
I waddled to the train station, if I was lucky, the train wouldn't be hijack or filled with gas tonight.
"Hey, you want to earn some money?" A guy next to me.
"No, thank you."
"10,000 dollars. Just a child's game"
I lifted my head to stare at him. I couldn't see his face, hidden behind a mask.
"It's a Korean game, visited it a few days ago, so would you mind playing it with me?" He gave an authoritative vibe, it made me want to back away, his aura was sinister.
I had already hit rock bottom, what could be lower? I hesitantly nodded my head.
I don't know how many times I lost, but I finally did it!
Handing me the cash and then handing me this weird card.
"If you ever need more, contact us." with that he walked away.
Third POV
“B, are you sure this is the right spot?”
‘Positive. Are you sure you want to join on this mission, Dick.”
Despite what anyone might think Batman, otherwise known as Bruce Wayne cares and loves his kids.
Changing into suits and golden animal masks, they went to the VIP room, make some bets on random numbers.
Oracle was doing the background work, hacking into everything, it wasn't like the movies and the stress was on.
The court of Owls was not just one villain working but a cult that was not only wealthy but influential, with their own members, called Talons who were armed and ready.
On the screen 456 players appeared.
“Today, we have prepared the game red light, green light. A child game.” The frontman introduced the V.I.P’s at the start of the first round.
[name]’s POV:
Waking up, the clothes I was originally wearing changed into the tracksuit outfit with a number on it.
A person caught my eye, it’s Astro! From the law department, I couldn’t help but approach him.
“What are you doing here?” Word got around that he was an academic genius, and many had hope for his bright future.
I could only remember how fond his mother was when talking about him, I thought I saw her the other day working.
“Oh, [name]. It’s been a while hasn’t it? What are you doing here?” He dodged the question.
“I… couldn’t afford college and took out a loan, eventually I got a lot of debt.” Our conversation got cut short as we headed to this random room.
Going to this machine it said ‘smile’
I gave a gummy like smile before making my way to the field
Playing red light, green light.
After explaining the rules everyone started running, nothing was wrong until a person got spotted moving during the red light, poor guy, going home penniless after making it here-
Spat
Oh.
There’s blood on my shoes.
It was like a stampede of people running to the door, stacking on top of each other. I was frozen out of fear.
Wha-
What do I do?
I’m afraid.
Someone tell me, what do I do?!
Before I knew it, I made it to the end.
Third POV:
Thankfully no one found the bat family suspicious or they would’ve noticed how they tensed up seeing as their daughter/sibling had the first contestant’s blood splattered not only on her shoes but also on her clothes.
A break had ensued as the game was over and everyone made their way to their individual rooms.
“What are they doing there?!”
“Should we stop it now?!”
“How?!”
“Quiet down!” Bruce had stopped the panic, but in reality he, himself didn’t know what to do either.
[name]’s POV:
Going back to the room, I felt like a doll and everyone sat on the floor.
The sickening feeling of seeing the gold lighting illuminating the clear pig, with money dropping down into it.
I could feel my stomach drop just thinking about it.
I didn't know what was happening until Astro got up and rebutted the guards.
“Clause three, The games may be terminated upon a majority vote, right?”
Thankfully, ending this sick and twisted game.
That didn’t last long though as a day had passed and I was back in this building. I think everyone who left was.
I talked to new people, especially this one old man who reminded me of Alfred.
“I could say the same to you. You’re young, and your debt is lower than most people here, so why continue risking your life for this money?” I shook my head, my face holding a sad smile.
“No matter how hard I try I just keep gaining then losing debt. But it’s different for you sir. Doesn’t the government give insurance and medicare for the elderly?” I held his hands in mine.
“The government isn’t as nice as you think, corrupt up in their high-paying jobs, but still greedy for more.”
As the games ensued I could feel myself deteriorate.
Third POV
Gripping onto the couch arms, and bouncing off one's feet could symbolize when someone is... anxious.
Or it could be showing anticipation.
So let's pretend that's what Bruce Wayne is feeling right now.
And if we asked his opinion on number ###, [name] [lastname]...
Most people would think, "Yes, he must be anticipating her death, how the blood would splatter, whether it be from losing a game or betrayal from another contestant." That's what most people would think of that entire family.
How could you not?
They shamed her, bullied her, and scorned her away from their home.
Wouldn't even provide financial aid much less.
Isn't that why she's here in the first place?
It was like they wanted her to grovel and die, die a death that would have no meaning, not even to this unforgiving world.
However, you'd be shocked that's not correct.
Anxiety is a scary thing it makes you make rash decisions. Good or bad.
It was nothing new to these vigilantes.
But oh. seeing her tired eyes, sweat dripping down everywhere, from her head to her legs. Her trembling form.
If you didn't know the context you'd already think she was a corpse.
No! That's wouldn't couldn't be true.
They couldn't allow it to be, she was going to be safe.
She had to be.
She was forgotten, but now, everyone's eyes were on her.
Anxiety is a scary thing, and with the current event, situation, there was nothing they could do but hope for the best, bounce their legs, and grip the couch.
-
It’s time for the next game.
“For this game we’ll be playing the marble game.”
—
There will be 2 endings choose which one. (I'll be making both.)
-> Thank you… for playing with me.
-> Astro!
Also, I love the idea and from fic from both @jellyfishmoon97 and @not-weirdoshrek
@holysoulsweets @sh4rk-k1d @sillysealsies @loomspuddle @cantfindmelol @alwaysholymilkshake @leitor-sonolento (I think these are all the ones that wanted to get tagged idk though 😍)

#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batfam#platonic batfam#platonic yandere batfam#yandere batfamily x reader#neglected reader#yandere batfamily
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After Hours
summary: Rafe lets his jealousy get the best of him and it pisses you off, but he makes it up to you after hours.
"Y/n, he's doing it again" Carly whispers over your shoulder as you work on drying off the bar glasses and putting them back on the shelf. You sigh on the outside but your insides warm at the thought of Rafe staring at the back of your figure. This is how it always goes.
He always wants to see you, claiming he can't get enough while you pull away, dedicated to your job. So Rafe decides why not kill two birds with one stone and come see you at work.
Unfortunately, wherever Rafe goes, his posse follows, and considering they're notorious party animals, they can't seem to hold their liquor. "Hey, Let's get another round goin' over here!" Topper shouts, words slurred and eyes heavy-lidded. Anyone within a mile radius could hear the cheers that came from their table at the announcement, and it made you dread going over there, but it's your job.
Not that you hated where you worked, it was right in the heart of figure eight, not too far from where you lived and it pays well most days, but drunk kooks pay even better.
As you walked over with a tray of shots, their hollers grew louder in volume and the environment made you nervous. Not because of the noise at their table, but because of the silence that Rafe held as you placed everything down.
His quiet, blue gaze lingered over your curves as you smiled at the boys. "Wow, you're just too pretty to be working at this hour. How about you pull up a chair and join us?" Topper's hand gently holds your upper arm and Rafe finally speaks up.
Prompted by a flare of jealousy, "Get your hands off her, Top." Rafe's voice overpowers the table to a still silence that even startled you. Topper immediately moves his hand as Kelce 'Oohs'. "Shit man, my bad." He apologizes. Rafe sends you an apologetic glance that you ignore before hastily collecting your tray and returning to the bar.
But it was too late. You were already upset.
-
The bar had just let out its last customer and you worked on wiping down the tables, most of the lights off and the blinds shut. Some street lights managed to seep through the cracks in the shutters which left golden shadows on the black marble countertops.
It takes a knock on the door to finally pull your head up from the task on hand where you are locking eyes with Rafe on the other side of the glass. You stepped towards the door, not unlocking it.
Your arms crossed and your expression conveyed what he already knew. "Open the door." Voice muffled but you still hear him loud and clear, you huff, knowing he would break the door down if he needed to. You opened it.
"You know I'm not a fucking child, right Rafe?" You sneer, and he locks the door behind him. "I know that. I just hate seeing other guys hit on you. It does things to me- shit makes me just wanna-" his expression contorts, unable to describe the emotion.
"I know, but you gotta trust me. You think I like when that bitch Holly from the yacht club has her hands on you? No, but I trust you." You throw the cloth down on the bar.
Watching as Rafe rounded the island to be on your side, finger under your chin and tilting your head up to look at him. His stone-cold blue eyes run warm as he grins down at you, "I don't give a fuck what Holly does, cuz at the end of the day all I'm thinkin' bout is you."
He leans down, his breath ghosting over your lips. Just barely giving you a taste of what you so desperately need. "I still don't forgive you." You quip, hardly able to step away before his big hand is wrapped around your neck, a light pressure applied, a warning.
"You think I'm lying? I'll show you who the fuck this dick belongs to. How about that, yeah?"
In a blur of heated kisses and hot touches, your clothes were scattered across the floor and your bra had landed somewhere on the rack, forgotten as Rafe fucked you mindless over the counter.
His thick cock pummeling in and out of your soaked cunt. He grabs a fistful of your dark curls, pulling you up so your back can meet his chest. "Now tell me, baby. Who does this pussy belong to, huh?" He hisses through clenched teeth, overwhelmed by the tight grip your walls provided him.
"M-me." You moan pathetically and it makes him laugh. He lets you go, and your upper half falls back onto the counter unceremoniously. He pulled out slowly, all the way until only the tip remained buried. "Try again."
He plummets back inside your core, his tip kissing your cervix and you scream, eyes filling with tears as you blabber, begging him not to stop. "Let's try that again, yeah? Who does this pussy belong to."
"You! You-- fuck! It's yours, all yours. No one else's."
He grins, he already knew this, of course. He just liked hearing you say it.
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe x you#rafe cameron smut#rafe drabble#outer banks smut#rafe obx#outer banks imagines#rafe smut#rafe cameron blurb#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe outer banks#outerbanks rafe#rafe imagine#outer banks#obx#obx fic#drew starkey#drew starkey smut
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wait so how did you get a "boring" office job? did you have to go to college or did you just apply for basic stuff and work your way up from there?
it was 100% through connections.
i mean, i actually GOT the job and have been able to KEEP the job because i'm smart and capable and good at doing things and have made the company a lot of money, but if i didn't know the right people i would not have even had a chance at it, and it would be disingenuous of me to pretend otherwise.
most of the moment-to-moment skills i use for clerical work (the majority of my job) i gained in highschool through my fascination with computers + all of the programming and software classes i took.
the business and accounting classes i took in university primed me for a basic understanding of how to run a company (or at least how to manage one, as my exact title is "Business Manager"), and all of my anthropology and sociology studies have given me a pretty keen insight for communication, which comes in major handy in a corporate setting. i was able to latch onto Corpo Speak pretty quickly, which has proven to be an indispensable skill (if a bit soul-sucking to utilize).
i got this job after receiving 0 work or callbacks from Indeed after applying to dozens of jobs over several months, which is a very difficult idea to reconcile with for me. i feel like im pretty capable, but apparently people whose job it is to give other people jobs don't agree. in spite of this, in 2 years ive generated hundreds of thousands of dollars of revenue for the company that decided to hire me because the owner saw me down on my luck and wanted to give me a break.
so i have to wonder, are we stupid, or are the companies stupid?
it's the companies. ive seen it firsthand. with this job, i go to business events and meet some of the most gullible people ive ever come across, and they're all CEOs.
they're so ravenously shortsighted with regards to their quarterly profit margins that they'd chase a 5 dollar bill the wind blew off a cliff for their shareholders. or more accurately, they'd push one of their minimum wage workers off the cliff to grab it.
because of that shortsightedness, conditions are getting worse, employment terms are becoming shorter, companies are shuttering left and right, pays are stagnant or lowering, and the growing number of people this inhuman greed affects are becoming more and more restless.
if you can't get a job in 2024, there's a very good chance it's not your fault. you shouldn't give up (unfortunately for now we still need to earn money to live in society), but try not to forget that.
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MASSIVE SLAY for calling out the tim drake mischaracterization. If you ever write for him I'll be the first one to read istg
⋆˚౨ৎ Tim Drake HCS ౨ৎ ⋆.˚
<33, thank you :') Tim is not only my fav Robin, but perhaps my fav batfamily member. I can yap about him for hours lmao. and since i am a yapper at heart here some headcanons for Tim, along side A SMUTTY ONESHOT

habit of FaceTiming you after patrol and using it as a gossip (shit talking) session “And you won’t believe what that motherfuck—“
CEO of “this is us”. Spams you with TikTok’s and cringy memes that remind him of you two together or just you in general.
He is chronically online, but not in the cringy gen alpha way, but in the way that he somehow knows every obscure gossips / cancellations happening. Even in niche that he is not into (like chef tini's thanksgiving mac and cheese controversy)
He is so smart, with the highest IQ in the batfamily after Bruce and yet he somehow decides that it's a good idea to try and take the piece of stuck toast with a fork... in a plugged, working, toaster. He is the type of person who's smart academically, gifted even, but never tries-- in fact he finds school boring (and i think this is canon)
Has a private account on social media, the ones that look like fake/bots right? Private with like 10 followers, and he posts mainly his s/o, pictures with his friends and his photography pictures.
He knows how to skate in canon. Stay assured he will teach you how to skate too. Late night skate practices when he doesn't have patrol, or during the summer going to the arcades together -- or driving to the nearest 7/11 to buy a slurpee.
OVER HIS DEAD BODY will he admit this, but he is a cuddler enjoyer. He is pretty short, so if youre slightly taller than him or larger, he is heaven. He likes to bottle up his feelings until he explodes, but, in those quiet nights when he can rests his head on your chest and relax by the sound of your heartbeat... he knows it will all be alright.
Doesn't know how to enjoy things normally. It's even all in with him or none at all. (like i mentioned here) emotionally he is stunned. He either goes down the rabbit hole and become utterly unhinged or is nonchalant, and you know in that moment you have lost him. This can apply for both relationships, friendships and even things like watching a new show or read a new book.
Is so pretty. Long black eyelashes, soft blue eyes that are so bright, his hair are of a shade of black that reminds you of the midnight sky. His muscles are just right. He is pale and yet has a warmness to him you can't really explain.
When he is not patrolling he actually has a pretty stable routine. Tim can be a control freak, and surely he, as the work alcholic vigilante he is, won't make his immune system— which is already weak withouth a spleen— grow any weaker. He takes great care of himself. With going to sleep early, taking breaks, drinks tea, morning walks at 6am...
Has a loud mouth. Most will assume Jason would be the one to swear the most right? And I mean, he is, just not the number one. The number one is this meany right here. Who, in every three words, inserts a swearing word you didn’t even know existed.
Secretly a romantic but not in the "normal way." His love would show up in the little things -> like taking notice of what you like, your fav characters, songs, foods, colour, animal etc.. and keeping it mind when needed. He is there for you when you need him, and he might not be good with words, but for sure he is good at taking care of you with touch.
MIXED TAPES!! You lost the count of how many burned CDs he gifted you, with an accurate playlist of songs chosen mirroring what he wants to portray. Anniversary? Bday? Holidays? He will gift you one along side another present for sure.
“What is this?” Your voice holding a hint of curiosity, surprise even as you look at him with soft eyes
“Pre anniversary gift. I wanted to gift you something— meaningful I suppose” he says shrugging, trying to act nonchalant but failing miserably as his big blue eyes were waiting to hear your contentment.
“Aww, you’re so cute …” you tease, on purpose making your tone slightly higher pitch. It might seem sarcastic, but truly it's not. Because you’re extremely grateful, every mixed tape is a little treasure you cherish with all of your heart. You just enjoy messing with him, because his face goes always so red.
“Alright, shut up now” he says, while rolling his eyes. Trying to act annoyed, but you can see right through him. He is miserably failing with this little act, because his love sick smile is big enough to bright the whole room.
百個心都裝唔晒我對你嘅愛= A hundred hearts would be too few to carry all my love for you | in cantonese
Playlist: Slide away - oasis Useless ID - Kiss Me, Kill Me Kiss Me Deadly by Generation X When it’s time - green day somebody - depeche mode Just like heaven - the cure First date - blink-182 Lucky man - the verve Good good things - descendents Teenage Bottlerocket - Spend the Night Teenage Bottlerocket - Don't Go
The drawing is made by me btw!!
© GLAMOURSCAT (all rights reserved. do not share, modify, translate and re-upload my work outside of tumblr)
#tim drake x reader#tim drake headcanon#tim drake#tim drake x you#tim drake x fem!reader#tim drake x male reader#tim drake drabble#tim drake oneshot#tim drake fanfiction#time drake fanfic#x reader#reader insert#fem reader#red robin dc#red robin x reader#red robin x you#red robin x y/n#tim drake x y/n#dc x reader#dc comics#dcu#dc universe#dc fanfic#dc comics x reader#dcu comics#dcu x reader
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ENHYPEN WHEN YOU... put lipgloss on them!



pairing: enha x fmr genre: fluff warnings: kissing, pet names
LEE HEESEUNG
heeseung is chilling on the couch when you approach him. he doesn’t even glance at you when you sit next to him. only when you start applying the lipgloss does he finally give you his attention.
"what are you doing"
"putting lipgloss on you, duh."
"why?"
"cause i wanna."
he doesn't say another word, letting you put it on. once you're finished, you admire you work. "now you look so pretty!" he mock pouts at you, "aren't i already pretty?"
"the prettiest, but now you're even prettier."
he leans in to kiss you but you pull away, "you're gonna smudge it!"
"don't care."
PARK JONGSEONG
you and jay are getting ready to go out. you've just finished applying your lipgloss when you decide he's gonna wear it too. you turn to face him, and without warning, start putting the lipgloss on him.
he backs away immediately, "i'm not wearing that."
you begin to whine, pouting as he shakes his head. "whine all you want, i'm not wearing it."
you decide to come up with another plan. you apply extra lipgloss on your own lips while he's checking himself out in the mirror. when he turns, you kiss him. he jerks in surprise but welcomes it nonetheless.
when you pull away, he's smiling, as are you because he now has a somewhat even layer of lipgloss on his lips. when his friends ask him later on why he's wearing lipgloss, the only thing he can do is find your eyes and glare as you giggle.
SIM JAEYUN
jaeyun is wrapped around your pretty little finger, you knew it the second you met, as did he. this means he lets you do whatever you want. when you approach him with the lipgloss, he doesn't even hesitate, puckering his lips to let you apply it.
when you're done, you take a selfie together, wasting no time in posting it online.
as he looks at it, he smiles.
"i look pretty," he says.
"you do, always."
"not as pretty as you though!"
"if you say so yunnie."
PARK SUNGHOON
sunghoon is napping on the couch when you decide to play the joke on him.
without moving too much, you quietly apply the lipgloss, trying not to add too much pressure. miraculously, 5 minutes later, he awakens.
"hey baby," you say, trying not to laugh.
he hums in acknowledgement, sitting up to stretch. you pull out your phone, starting video recording. "my baby just woke up, look how pretty he looks," you say to the camera as you pan it to sunghoon.
he tries to hide his face but you don't let him. you softly grab his jaw, turning his face so he's facing the camera. he looks at himself in the camera lens before his face contorts into one of confusion.
"why do my lips look like that?"
you burst into laughter as you hold up the lipgloss for him to see. he curses before violently wiping his lips with the back of his hand. "you're so annoying," he says with a slight whine in his voice.
"but you look so cute! it really makes your lips pop!"
"delete that video!"
"no!"
KIM SUNOO
when you tell sunoo that you got each other matching lipglosses, he's ecstatic. you agree to apply it on each other. he does you first, applying it gently and carefully.
you do the same to him, and you're in awe once you're finished.
"it compliments you so well sun!"
"yours is perfect too. how did you know which ones to get?"
"well i think about your lips all the time. how perfect they are. soft, pretty color, perfect size, so kissable. that's how i knew."
sunos begins to blush. he hits your shoulder lightly, "you can't say stuff like that! you know how i get!"
"i know, i just love teasing you!"
YANG JUNGWON
jungwon is another man totally whipped for you, with no shame.
you're getting ready to go to a party and you've just finished your makeup. jungwon comes up from behind you, admiring you in the mirror. "you somehow get more and more beautiful everyday."
you smile widely, "and you somehow get more and more handsome everyday."
your eyes move between him and the lipgloss, a beautiful shade of pink that would compliment his lips so well.
"i can see the gears turning in your head, go ahead, put it on me."
you squeal in delight as you immediately start applying the lipgloss. jungwon keeps still, puckering when you tell him to. when you're done, you show him in the mirror. "look how good it looks!"
he smacks his lips a couple times, "it does look good. you always know how to make me look even better."
NISHIMURA RIKI
you and riki constantly bicker. not in a serious way but in a cute couples way.
when you tell him you wanna put lipgloss on him, he immediately tells you no. "but riki!" "no!"
you beg him to do it for you. he still denies you, claiming nothing will make him do it, not even your infamous puppy eyes.
you do the only thing you can think of. when he's sleeping, you carefully apply the lipgloss and proceed to take pictures and send them to the group chat.
y/n: look at the pretty princess 🎀
the replies are immediate, the boys responding to your message with crying and laughing emojis.
when riki wakes up an hour later and checks his phone, he rushes outside to find you sitting there like you've done nothing wrong. "you are so done for," he says and before you know it, he's in front of you, tickling you to death.
he refuses to let up, even as you say you're sorry, your sides hurting.
"say you're sorry!'
"i'm sorry ki, i'm sorry!"
AEWON 2024
#aewon#aewon works ☆#k-labels#enhypen#enha#enhypen social media au#enha fluff#enhypen au#enhypen x female reader#enhypen x y/n#enhypen x you#enhypen x reader#enhypen fluff#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fic#enhypen fake texts#enhypen ff#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#jungwon#heeseung#jay#jake#sunghoon#sunoo#niki#ni ki enhypen
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What if m/c had been accepted for a scholarship abroad and just ended up stayinv there becoming the resident hero ? They did keep in regular contact with Alfred tho, seeing as he was the only family member who didnt ignore them.
Ok that is interesting and for this (which is not in the storyline in part 4) I will add another hero or two instead of Superman since he's not THAT special.
Small disclaimer: I am not sure if Green Arrow lives in Central City and where I searched told me he lives there so don't come at me that it's wrong please (I changed it to Star City so if you see it changed here is the answer)
This is based two years before you entered highschool so when you were 13 and already in Bruce's Manor.
You were there for a year and after suffering so much from Damian's tormenting you and everyone just ignoring you made you so tired and you wanted, no, needed to leave the manor and city.
You knew it was drastic but you couldn't do it anymore, you missed your mother and being sent to a home where people detest you just for existing made you feel so bad you couldn't even leave your room without a panic attack at the thought of being hurt by Damian's words or weapons or being ignored by everyone when you tried to say anything.
You applied to a few scholarship far away from Gotham to enter some prestigious schools in different cities so you could spread your choices if you got accepted.
You didn't say anything to Alfred until you received many scholarships and you chose the one in Star City, wanting to be as far away as possible from Gotham and the Waynes.
The only problem was getting Alfred to accept to send you there since he was the boss in the house, not Bruce.
You knew Bruce wouldn't care if he sent you somewhere else but you didn't want him to know where you would be going but still needed his money since you were a thirteen year old with no job or an allowance.
Thankfully Bruce just signed it without looking when Alfred showed him some random papers and off you went to your new life in Star City.
As years passed you became more social since you weren't held down by the neglect of the Waynes and you were around people who actually sought you out and didn't completely ignore you.
You kept dancing and sent all of yours training practices, plus all your small and big dance recitals to Alfred so he could see you dance since he couldn't come to every single one of them and you didn't blame him.
When you turned 15 you found a part-time job at a science company where they allowed you to work on your experiments with the supervision of an another scientist.
Unfortunately (or fortunately) you got bit by a radioactive spider that escaped from the same scientist who was supposed to supervise you and gave you the spider abilities.
Which did worry you but you learned to control your newfound superhuman strenght and also your weird sticking to surfaces and walking on walls.
Did it take a while? Yes, but it was worth it.
You also decided to become a vigilante because why not? Why not put your life in danger every night just to not receive any money compensation from it?
You're not as active as your alterego in Gotham since you actually have friends here and you're not held down by years of neglect which pushed you to help people.
You helped people whenever you could and one night, during a patrol you accidentally bumped into Green Arrow and fought with him for a while before both of you realised neither of you two were villains.
You did apologise and after a few more encounters and you pulling some pranks on Oliver because he was an easy target to prank, like come on. The man wears green and has an arrow. You can't not prank that man and call him Robin Hood.
You became his little helper, got his phone number and helped him with some villains whenever you could and especially if he let you.
You also trained your fighting with him, which got you beat up and with so many black eyes that you had to beg him to not hit your face since you couldn't keep worrying your friends and dance instructor since they were starting to ask questions and you couldn't fool them forever.
You also met Roy, aka Speedy, while on a mission with Oliver and also got along with him despite his hatred for Oliver and gained a new older brother.
After a year of helping Oliver around and training to fight decently and not only use your superhuman strenght, he finally let you come to a Justice League meeting.
You met Batman and Damian there, along with Superman and Jon to which you tried to get along with but the two of them were extremely clingy and knew a bit too much about you which creeped you out.
During the meeting you stayed very close to Oliver to avoid the two teens and also hide from Batman and Superman since they kept staring at you even while talking.
After the meeting Batman did try to approach you and you avoided him, but while walking away he just said "(Y/N)", which made you stop before walking off.
You immediately knew that he knew who you were under the mask but you didn't care that he knew.
You just ignored him and his calls, plus his sons calls. You refused to even give him a bit of attention, especially since he didn't bother you for years but now they wanted your attention?
God no, you still had dignity and self respect. Giving them attention would be like forgiving them for all those years of not even knowing you existed.
Finally the calls stopped but they started to appear everywhere you went in Central City.
You went to school? You were called in the principal office where Bruce was and scolded you lightly about putting your mother's last name when it should have been his.
Your hand started to bleed from how hard you were gripping it so you wouldn't yell at the man in front of the principal.
What you hated more was the look of love Bruce had when he scolded you, gently patting your head as he talked.
You showered at least three times before you finally felt clean after feeling Bruce touch you so lovingly.
Everywhere you went as you or as Spider, you would be met by either Bruce or one of his kids, which got even more frustrating when they would try to coax you to come back home to Gotham.
Dick would try to coax you, too into his delusional idea that you were being forced to stay here with Green Arrow even though you told him many times that it wasn't true.
He would also manipulate you by fake crying whenever you yelled at him or ignored him, making you even more frustrated because he kept on caring about himself and didn't see how you were happy in Star City.
Jason would just follow you and talk like you never left, complaining about Bruce or Damian and offered to go to a café or restaurant to catch up and see what you were up to.
Even yelling at him that he didn't care when you left didn't budge him and made him give up. No, it made him even more persistent on trying to act like you two were close and a happy family.
You also had to slam the door in Tim's face so many times whenever he would knock at the door of your apartment, you had to replace the doorknob and locks too many times to count from Tim picking the locks and you destroying the doorknob from your strenght.
Plus, arriving home to relax and seeing both Tim and Bruce in your apartment with dinner made you sick but you had to endure since you couldn't afford to change apartments since it was in the best position in the city.
Oh but Damian was the worst. He would act like he never hurt you sometimes or other times used his own past as a way to show that he had it worse than you.
Did you throw him off a building when he said that? Yes but unfortunately for you, Jon was there to catch him which made you even more frustrated.
Clark? He was decent sometimes, you met him before when he talked with Oliver and you were around but you always got a creepy vibe from him.
Especially when he kept on staring at you or gave you things like small trinkets you saw but never bought. It was so creepy that he knew what you liked, plus he kept on calling you nicknames like a father would do to his child.
Jon wasn't that bad. He did leave you alone when you asked but he also helped you. The only problem was that he acted like you were his older brother/sister and talked about times you two were together when you distinctly remember being alone when you did those things.
You did call Alfred once, he was the only one you told that you were Spider since he kept on asking why you were always full of bruises on your face and arms and you couldn't lie to him.
The call did not go well, with you yelling at Alfred that he ruined it since now Bruce knew who you were and he ruined your once happy life just because he wanted you back home.
After a while of seeing Bruce and his kids and them trying to manipulate you into going back home, plus Clark and Jon, you decided to go to the only person you trusted the most in Star City.
You went to Green Arrow and confessed to everything, you told him about your mother's death and how you were suddenly sent to a family who couldn't care less about you.
You didn't hide that you were Bruce's biological child and also showed him your scars that Damian made in the year he tormented you.
At the end of the confession you were crying, the memories of Damian hurting you with all the neglect and blatant hatred towards you made you breakdown in an ugly cry.
You kept crying even when Oliver hugged you, hugging him back with all your might as you didn't want him to leave you.
You did admit that you thought many times on going back since they kept on insisting and you weren't that strong, you couldn't resist forever with all that pressure.
By saying that, you felt Oliver freeze for a second before hugging you back and holding you close, like you hugging him with your super strength didn't faze him one bit.
What you didn't feel was the tiny prick of a needle being inserted in your neck, the only thing you last heard before collapsing in Oliver's arms were "sorry kid, can't let you leave me"
#yandere x reader#platonic yandere#yandere batman#yandere#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batboys#batman#yandere batfamily#batboys x reader#batfam#yandere tim drake#tim drake#nightwing#yandere dick grayson#yandere jason todd#jason todd#yandere damian wayne#damian wayne#yandere bruce wayne#bruce
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just like the other ask i love love love! ur interpretation of ford. i need more almost religiously. can we have more hcs involving romance and maybe a little nsfw stuff?
Romantic Ford Headcanons
ask and ye shall recieve.
Will absolutely flush if you kiss his hand, especially in public. He finds something like that mischievous, but lowkey will not complain, merely grumble softly to himself. Morning kisses are a bonus and have helped him adjust to a more slow paced life.
Pet names. Perhaps a shortened version of your name if your name is long enough. My dear, honey, handsome/beautiful. In his journal, he'll refer to you as the love of his life.
Head scratches or foot/back massages. Both of you, when overworked, appreciate them so so much. Ford will greatly appreciate it when you coax him out the lab, into your lap, and run your hands through his peppered hair. He makes a noise stuck between a groan and sigh, and in no time, his breathing evens out. When he does it for you, he will often offer it after a crappy day at work. Cue the extra fingers working magic and applying pressure in all the right places.
It could be said he can make edible meals, but he's no Gordan Ramsey. So when he comes home to you making a home cooked meal, he can't help but fall for you harder. To be able to sit down, eat, and not worry if the food is poisonous...it's enough to make a grown man cry. His favorite recipe might be a spaghetti dish.
Get this man some jelly beans, and he'll be a happy lad.
Play any nerd board with him and Dipper, and you will see his eyes turn into hearts, which should be physically impossible. Finds your facial expression cute when you're stuck on something.
Stargazing on the roof of the Mystery Shack is a must, and he never gets tired of speaking of the stars with you. When you told him about the new horoscopes that sparked a new conversation.
Expedition dates are great, but local diner hangouts always feel more intimate with you. Ford may or may not have stolen a french fry if you weren't looking...perhaps Stan is rubbing off on him.
It's not something you know, but once considered, finding out a way to allow you to see colors humans normally can not perceive like Bill once did for him. But ultimately decided against it.
Random gifts from Ford can range from receiving a flower, clothes that don't stain, or a new creature he found in the wild.
*nsft under the cut
Surprisingly quite sensitive. If you rake your nails against his skin, he'll shiver and try to push you off. But keep doing it, and you'll get a whimper out of him.
If you kiss each finger, naming what you like about him or how you'll screw the daylights out him alongside licking them, please expect said fingers inside of you tonight.
He likes grabbing you by the waist and might give a teasing squeeze if feeling brave. He's smug when he does so. On days when you're both alone, you might feel him wrap his arms around you with a little surprise pressing up your backside. Will always ask for permission to go forward.
The kind of person to see you doing something in your natural habitat and get aroused from it. Reading a book? Biting a pen? Covered in mud from helping Mabel with her garden that was raided by suspiciously handsome men with gnomes riding them? He finds it unbecoming of a scientist to fall folly to such primal instincts but will grab your hand when you're alone and stare at you with a slight desperation.
Kiss sessions can go for a good while with some groping. He prefers to be in control, but if you whisper for him to lay beneath you and say his full name, you'll have the old man putty in your hands. Nibble on his ear and that'll earn you six fingered smack on the butt. His ears are really sensitive you've realized...suspiciously so.
If you point that out and keep asking, Ford might one day ask you to stick your tongue in his ear. And if you ever do this while palming his erection in his pants he'll cum early much to his embarrasment. He could never live down the shame but will always come back for more.
He's a fan of blowjobs since they're easy to clean up and really enjoy when you give them to him at a slow pace. He likes the buildup. He doesn't mind returning the deed. He finds your expression and moans quite invigorating.
There's a slight possibility he might be into sounding. Don't ask how he figured that out but he's too shy to bring it up right now.
Praise kink. It's practically endless! Smart, handsome, gorgeous, sexy, silver fox, cutie pie, fantastic, how are you so good at this, good job, keep doing that, etc.
Likes watching/being watched while masturbating. Bonus points if you walked in on him. Once you did and he came like a hormonal teenager, face beet red and glasses cloudy.
Slow and steamy sex is something he prefers because he likes to watch you come undone under his watchful gaze but there are times where he'll feel spontaneous and rile you up throughout the day so you pounce him in privacy. Conniving fella. Have enough stamina to hold you up & hammer you against the wall but prefers a bed.
"Stanford..." You whispered in a low voice as you rearranged yourself behind him. Ford tensed at your voice, feeling his soul jump as your naked arms slide underneath his own, linking together against his chest. "Y-Yes, my dear?" He asks when he remembers to respond to you. He wanted to look at you, kiss your lips, taste you on his own, and have his hands roam every inch of your body. Especially considering your very naked body in question was pressed against his back side. But he didn't.
He steeled himself to your provactice antics and touched the buckle of his belt. He hears you chuckle into his ear, the softness of your lips when it makes contact with his earlobe. Then his cheek and the side of his neck where that wretched tattoo resided. Oh... He couldn't help but sigh and think mentally he was much too old for this. But as if you read his mind, you cupped the pompous bulge that was quite evident through his corduroy pants. You gave it a gentle squeeze and waited.
"More..."
"More what?"
His voice is now a whisper. His Adam apple rises as he swallows his saliva. "More, please." He could feel himself come undone when you call him a good boy. Tonight is going to be one of those nights.
#gravity falls#ford pines#gravity falls imagine#gravity falls fandom#stanford pines#ford x reader#gravity falls headcanons#ford x you#stanford x reader#stanford pines x you#stanford pines x reader#hc#hcs#anon ask
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