#<- for the rest of the post but honestly i hope people will continue liking my old posts

[xxplastic-cubexx]

hello!! i just want to tell you that your art is so goddamn scrumptious, you are literally feeding my xmen brainrot and I find myself smiling when i see your art come across my feed. I love how you draw charles, pretty privilege and post (lets be fr he's serving every time)

i hope you always have fantastic brainrot and id kiss your blessed hands for giving us the gift of cherik and charles xavier, you are literally an icon

hope you have a great day ahead of you and more!! you deserve it !!

well i'ma absolutely have a wonderful mornin after readin this AWWWW thank you so so much !!!! i haven't been postin xmen long, so it's been really heartwarmin seein the warm reception to my work in the wonderful tags people have been leavin on my posts- and especially gettin to answer the lovely asks y'all've been sendin in (❁´ ▽ `❁) !! im glad people also like my goofy text posts and esp quotes from my brother he really has no right being so funny at the most random times

i hope to be xmen posting a while: ive got at least 60 years worth of stuff to look through and ongoing, so i dont imagine my interest'll wane anytime soon :]] !!

[rebloggingrexan]

#rat not detected

getting a note on a super old post

[watchmegetobsessed]

UNMATCHED

A/N: it's been like 6 months since i last posted something and honestly, i haven't even written anything, things are very shitty these days but i felt the motivation to write this quickly after watching 'tell me lies' and 'rivals' these past weeks so here we go! if student-prof type of fics are not your thing then don't read it

WORD COUNT: 2.6k

WARNING: age gap, student-professor relationship

SUMMARY: Harry is very strict about staying away from students as a young and handsome professor, but there is one person he can't get out of his head and a Christmas party brings an unexpected turn.

MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!

Harry hates these type of parties, mostly because he can’t imagine inviting dozens of students into his home, his private space, have the roam around and spend an entire evening with them, talking and pretending like they aren’t just trying to get a better grade at the end of the semester with their too friendly behavior. Or, in his case, some girls try to push the boundaries and flirt with him, hoping to hook up with him. 

He is not stupid. He has heard students whisper about him several times, he notices the heart eyes when he is talking in class and he has gotten several phone numbers on papers since he started his PHD studies and started teaching last year. His friends teased him about being the heartthrob of the faculty, but he didn’t think it would actually happen and to this extent. To avoid any possible scandals, not that he planned to make any, he has put on quite a rigid mask towards the students to scare them off from even trying, though that hasn’t stopped some of them from wanting to shoot their shot. 

He wouldn’t have come to this party, he would rather be home and continue his research that’s still not even close to being done, but Professor Bradford, or Stella as she requests Harry to call her, is the only person he gets along with in the faculty. She is 18 years older than Harry, but still younger than the rest of the old men who have been teaching here since probably before the declaration of independence was signed. Those men are the reason younger people don’t like classic literature anymore, with their outdated ways of teaching and unwillingness to bring something modern into their lectures they are scaring the new generations away. But not Stella. She is one of the reasons Harry went into his PHD and now he gets to work with her. He couldn’t just reject her invitation for her annual Christmas Party she holds for her students and some colleagues. 

Now he is standing by the wall, drinking mulled wine and just gritting his teeth, trying to calculate how early is too early to leave. A couple of girls have already tried to chat him up, they like to circle him, leave him almost no room to escape and then make him talk about school stuff, but then they slyly bring up personal things, hoping to break his usual character, but he sees through them always. 

Harry’s best friend, Niall always teases him that he should just give in and have fun with one of them. His morals are a lot looser than Harry’s, that’s for sure. 

Just as he is about to look for the bathroom, not to use it but to hide for a bit, another group of girls spots him and he can already feel his skin crawling as they approach him from down the hallway. He is quick to assess the situation, but he realizes he has no chance of fleeing before they reach him. 

“Profesor! So good to see you here!” 

And here we go. 

It goes the same, they are extremely nice and inquiring about his plans for the next semester and then suddenly they are talking about summer and Harry knows they are moments away from asking what he’ll be doing once the school year is over. One of the girls is talking about going to Italy on a yacht and the others chime in with their own ridiculously over the top plans while Harry is avoiding to even look at them, his eyes roam around the other guests. 

That’s when he sees her. 

Just down the hall he can peek into the kitchen and there she is, with a boy Harry assumes to be her boyfriend. He’s seen them around campus the past few weeks, he even waited for her after Harry’s class and saw them walk away together as he fought the way his stomach churned every time. 

Since the moment she walked into his class at the beginning of the semester Harry has been feeling like he is losing his mind. Whether it be the way she laughs with her friends before class or focuses with undivided attention as Harry explains something by the board, or says hello every time she passes him in the cafeteria, Harry can’t stop thinking about her for days after even though he knows such feelings should be banned from his mind when it comes to a student. Every time he catches himself thinking about her he wants to throw himself out the window, but he still can’t fight it. There’s something in her that draws him in and swallows him whole and it’s not just the looks. Unlike a lot of students who take his classes for easy credits or to drool after him, she is there to learn as much as she can and she’s had the most brilliant thoughts on certain subjects Harry has ever encountered, making him almost jealous he wasn’t the one to think about them. 

She is… unmatched. And forbidden, but impossible to ignore. She’s been his vice for months.

From where he stands it appears she is having a fight with said boyfriend, her always cheerful expression is now rather upset and confused while the boy seems to be over the conversation, almost irritated by her, dismissed. Harry tries to appear not too obvious about watching them, but he is also way too fixated on her to ignore what’s happening just down the hallway. 

He glances away just for a few seconds, but the next time he looks back he sees the boy stomping away, irritated, while she is left there, pulling on her coat before disappearing through the backdoor, swallowed by the darkness of the unlit back terrace. 

And before Harry could stop himself, he is already moving.

“Excuse me girl,” he mumbles disorientedly as he slips out of the small circle. 

He places his glass to a nearby table and then grabs his own coat from the wardrobe in the hallway before making his way outside. After her. 

The moment he steps out into the cold a short sense of realization washes over him that he definitely shouldn’t be here, that he is crossing a line, but then another voice in his head tunes it out, convincing him that he is just making sure she is okay and there’s nothing wrong with that. 

Stopping by the door his gaze rakes through the terrace, but he doesn’t see her, until she spots her slouched form sitting on the bottom of the stairs leading out to the lawn. He hears her sniffling, but she hasn’t acknowledged his presence yet, if she noticed it at all. There’s a couple of moments of hesitation on his end, he can hear the rational side of him screaming somewhere in the back of his mind, telling him to turn around and just walk back inside, yet he still finds himself moving towards him and then that voice is silenced. 

“Everything alright?” Harry asks from the top of the stairs, but he startles her so much that she jumps to her feet and backs away a few feet. That’s when he sees her tearful eyes and red nose. 

“S-Sorry, I don’t–”

“Hey, it’s all good. You didn’t do anything wrong. Just checking in.”

She squints her eyes at him and that’s when he realizes she must not even see his face since the light is coming right behind him. So he walks down the stairs and then finally his face is lit and realization settles in her eyes. 

“Oh, Professor Styles. Hi.”

“Hello Y/N. Are you okay?” he asks again, to which she just chuckles bitterly. 

He can’t miss that even with tears running down her cheeks and her eyelashes stuck together, she looks so fucking beautiful it baffles him. He has to fight the urge to reach out and touch her tear-soaked cheeks. 

“Um, yeah, everything is… perfect,” she scoffs, reaching into her pockets, probably looking for tissues, but finding none so Harry grabs one from his inner pocket, handing it over to her, her fingers brushing against his for the shortest second as she takes it and then it’s over, but his skin keeps tingling. 

“Thanks,” she mumbles before drying her face as much as she can. “I’m good. Just…” She looks at him and changes her mind. “Ah, wouldn’t want to bore you with my nonsense personal drama.”

“Drama is never boring, have you learned nothing in my class?” he jokes and it actually makes her laugh. 

“This drama is not worthy of being taught in class though.”

“I bet some of the big names thought the same thing upon writing what we read in class these days.”

“So you’re saying I should write about how my boyfriend is fed up with me because I told him something he did hurt me?”

“That sounds like something I bet a lot of people would want to read about,” he smiles and when she mirrors it, he can feel his chest expanding. Somewhere way too deep in his mind an alarm goes off, but it quickly becomes one with the void and all he can think about is her. “Actually I can think of a few great pieces that are about similar topics.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, believe it or not, you’re not the first one to experience this.”

The way she looks at him is setting him on fire. The mixture of sadness, tiredness and gratitude towards his attempt to cheer her up is still making her glow in a way Harry has never seen before on any woman. 

“Do you mind analyzing one for me right now?”

“I’d be happy to.”

The party is completely tuned out for the two of them. First they actually talk about a novel, but soon it turns into sharing their favorite books and authors, their guilty pleasure reads,  recommendations for each other and even more personal bits Harry would never share with a student, but Y/N is the exception. 

They have no idea how much time passes as they stand outside and Harry ignores how the cold starts to sting his fingertips even in his pockets, because he knows that if they go inside this bubble will pop and he is too selfish to let that happen just yet. 

When there’s a short silence Harry notices that she is probably slipping back into what happened earlier and when she looks at him again he already knows she is about to share.

“I gave him a chance and explicitly told him not to fuck me over, because I can’t deal with that again. But all he has been doing is manipulating to believe that I’m always in the wrong.”

“It’s impossible for you to always be in the wrong.”

“I know. Well, part of me knows, but then I always go back to thinking that he is right, I must have messed up something.”

“That just proves that you have self-criticism, that you don’t just think everything you do is perfect.”

She sighs and looks away, her gaze distant as she battles herself inside her head, a feeling Harry knows very well, unfortunately. It doesn’t sit right with him that she is visibly struggling because of an immature guy’s untreated problems. She deserves so much more, but how can he tell that without crossing a line?

“Give it some time and you’ll see it clearer. Use your critical thinking on his actions as well, not just yours and don’t settle for less than your worth.”

“You think I did that?” she asks, eyes jumping back to meet his gaze. “You think I settled for less than my worth?”

There’s more behind her eyes than the words she said out loud and he is torn, because he can feel himself being pulled in more than ever, like she just opened the door the slightest and he has the chance to slip in. It’s the first time he senses something on her part and after all the yearning he is eager to take the chance. 

“I think you deserve a lot more, Y/N. You’re brilliant, bright and give so much to others, you should get the same amount if not more back. If someone can’t see that, then they don’t deserve you.”

For a second he wishes he didn’t say a thing, he regrets crossing the line and he fears her reaction, but then… 

Then he forgets everything. Because she is kissing him. 

It happens fast, one moment she is staring up at him with doe eyes, the next her lips are crashing against his, her hands grabbing onto the lapels of his coat. He barely recovers from the shock when she is already pulling away.

“I-I’m so sorry, I d-didn’t mean to, I just—Oh my Go–”

Her stammering is quickly cut short when he kisses her, his hands holding her jaw to angle her face perfectly and while her kiss was closed, rushed and panicked, this one is different. He is quick to beg for her to open her lips so he can explore as much of her as humanly possible, he is letting all the passions loose that he’s been locking up these past months and when she returns it just as eagerly it just pushes him even further. 

They inch back to the wall of the house and when he pins her against it a moan slips past her swollen lips, completely maddening him. 

“Fuck, Y/N,” he breathes against her lips, kissing her jawline, savoring the sweet taste of her skin that’s supposed to be cold, but it’s actually burning. For him. 

He keeps one hand on the side of her neck, the other one digs into her hip through her coat and she keeps pushing against him, while her hands wander under his coat, they are on his waist, back and when they move to his lower stomach, brushing against his belt, something snaps inside him. 

But before he could completely lose his mind the backdoor opens and he quickly sobers up, pulling her farther away from the corner so they can’t be seen. 

“...and that was actually crazy,” a girl speaks up, oblivious to how Harry has Y/N pinned against the wall just a few feet away. They are both breathing heavily, but she has her face buried in his shoulder while he covers his mouth with a hand, adrenaline racing through his veins. 

“Ah shit, I’m out of cigarettes,” another girl says.

“Mm let’s get out of here then. I think Max said they are having a little party as well.”

“Okay.”

Then the door opens again and the voices disappear, but reality hits Harry hard in the head.

He slowly pulls back, enough to look at her face and when he sees her swollen lips and slightly smeared mascara he almost combusts. 

Because he wants nothing more than to take her, right here and then everywhere else in the world, but he also realizes what he just did and this time his rational side wins. 

“Fuck,” he gasps as he jumps back, cupping a hand over his mouth.

“I wanted it–”

“Y/N, stop!” he cuts her off. “Fuck, this was a mistake.”

“But I wanted it! You didn’t–”

“I said stop!” he barks and she shuts her mouth right away. “This shouldn’t have happened.”

And before she could protest again or worse, kiss him again, he is already storming back inside, across the house towards the front door.

“Harry! I haven’t seen you all night!” Stella catches him, but he just wants to get as far away from this house and from Y/N as possible.

“I’m sorry, I need to go. I’ll talk to you later,” is all he manages to say before he is already out the door.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

[papercorgiworld]

I don't need space, I need you

Mattheo and Theodore fluff

Based on this request, please don't hate me for taking 29 days to post this rather average piece, but I had a lot of requests and not a lot of time. I hope you like it!

Finally I had time to write today! Big yey for me, people. I needed it and I'm so happy I wrote something today. 💛 Sending you lots of love and of course: happy readings!

A/N: I got some stuff going on in life so if I don't respond, I'm sorry. Just know that I love you. 💛

There was a request for a Draco and Enzo version: you can read it here

Mattheo

“Where’s my princess?” Mattheo sings as he enters the common room in search of you. “Not here, I would check the library.” Blaise states not looking up from his book. Mattheo nods and is about to turn around to head straight for the library, but Draco’s snickering stops him from doing so. “I bet you’re pleased to have a moment of peace.” Mattheo focuses on Draco, not completely getting where the blond's going with this. “I honestly pity you, man, must be so suffocating.” Suddenly all eyes are on Mattheo and not just his friends, the entire slytherin common room is curious to hear what the big bad boy has to say. Mattheo moves a nervous hand through his curls and chuckles. “Yeah, she’s a bit much with her hugs and cuddles, and urgh those constant questions to check on me. I’m lucky she studies so much, so I have a break from time to time.” Mattheo sits down opposite of Draco who grins and nods, fully believing that Mattheo feels saved by your absence. However, Mattheo felt miserable sitting there, knowing that he could be spending time with you.

Just like Mattheo was searching the castle for you, you had been searching for him and ended up checking the common room. With watery eyes you turn around, unnoticed by anyone, and leave the common room. He thinks I’m too much?

***

“Who is it?!” Mattheo yells as he pushes you against the wall of an empty hallway. He rarely raised his voice with you, but now his face was close to yours, his eyes dark and piercing yours. He looks more pained than angry, but you just look confused. To him it was obvious, you had fallen out of love with him and probably found someone else. There was plenty of proof:

A quick kiss on the lips and a wish of good luck before Tuesday's test was all Mattheo got, instead of the tight hug and intense kiss you would normally give him before a test. 

When you got your results back on Wednesday you jumped into Luna’s arms and just gave him a happy smile, while he was standing right there next to Luna. His heart ached to hold you and press you against his chest. Worse was when you asked Enzo about his test first and ended up discussing all the answers, barely giving your boyfriend any attention.

Thursday you went to sit next to Pansy in the common room, instead of settling in your boyfriend’s lap. Mattheo was forced to watch you the whole evening without touching you once. When you left for bed, you told him not to walk you to your room and reminded him to spend some much needed time with his friends. The sweet kiss you gave him, didn’t make up for any of it. 

Were you trying to get rid of him? To Mattheo the case was obvious.

Friday was the worst. Happy to finally have you next to him as you were both reading, settled close by the fire. With his eyes still on the page of his own book his arm moved behind you to pull you closer and you let your head rest on his shoulder as you continued to read, but still Mattheo frowned. Normally you would sling your legs over his and cuddle up against his chest, wrapping your blanket around the both of you and creating this warm bubble of love. He could barely focus on his book, as his eyes constantly wandered to you reading next to him but not cuddled up against him like you used to.

So by Saturday Mattheo had pretty much had it with you. You rubbed your temple as squeezed your eyes. “I have a headache, I’m gonna head to my room and rest for a bit.” You got up from your seat to leave the library and Mattheo did the same. If you weren’t feeling well then he needed to be by your side. “Oh, don’t Matt. I’ll be fine. I’ll ask Pansy to give me something against the pain and settle next to me until I fall asleep.” Mattheo stood perplexed as you just kissed him and left. Now he wasn’t even good enough to take care of you anymore.

This was the moment he snapped. With stern strides he follows you.

“Who is it?!” You frowned at the question and met Mattheo’s dark eyes. “Obviously, you’re done with me. So who’s better than me, huh?” His voice was filled with anger, but his question sounded so heartbreaking, that you felt no need to get angry with him for pushing you against the wall and snapping at you. You cup his cheeks and softly shake your head. “Matt, I love you. I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Your voice is calm and endearing, reminding him of how much he needed your love. You were always so gentle with him and feeling you slip away the past week hurt so much that he felt like falling apart on the spot. He's too hurt and afraid to lose you to act tough and with a whisper he confesses his worries. “You don’t check up on me anymore. You don’t wish me luck before a test like you used to. We don’t cuddle anymore.” You stare at him in silence for a moment, you had never seen Mattheo this soft and vulnerable before. 

Your hands still resting on his cheeks move to his neck as you wrap your arms around him and pull him against you. Mattheo snuggles his face in your neck, embarrassed with himself and desperate for your warmth. You rest your head against his and your fingers move through his curls, making him sigh at your touch. “You told Draco I was a bit too much. So I backed off, because I didn’t want to lose you. I know I can get clingy sometimes, I’m sorry.” Mattheo moves away to look at you and his eyes look guilty. “No, no. Don’t apologise. Don’t be sorry. I love you clingy and cuddly. I need you to be around me.” Your eyebrows knit together. “But I heard you say-” Mattheo interrupts you and shakes his head. “I was being stupid. Don’t listen to the things I say. Just stay with me and love me… overwhelm me with everything you have.” You tilt your head in confusion. “No, I mean listen to me, just forget about what I said back then. I- I was trying to act tough so I pretended to- you know.” You chuckle. “You pretended not to like cuddles, because you wanted to be a tough guy?” Embarrassed with himself Mattheo nods. “I’m a softy for you and I need my daily dose of love. I don’t need space.” 

You sigh at Mattheo’s pouty face. “My boyfriend’s an idiot.” Mattheo nods and leans in for a kiss. “Please, let me take you to your room and let me take care of you, because I want nothing more than to be around you.” You pull him in for another intense kiss as an answer and as you walk to your dorm, he squeezes your hand the whole time walking.

Theodore

“Where’s my lady?” Theodore frowns as he sits down opposite of Blaise, who raises his shoulders without looking up from his book. Theo shakes his head in annoyance, he needed you like he needed cigarettes. He spent the whole day longing for your love and warm embraces. Merlin, all he wanted right now was for you to entangle your fingers with his hair and ask him about his day. “For once the two of you aren’t attached to the hip.” Mattheo quips and Draco snickers. “Must be refreshing to have a moment to yourself.” Theodore stays silent for a moment and a little further, near the common room entrance you halt in your step. “She’s so mothering, it’s almost toxic. I don’t know how you do it, mate.” Draco wiggles his eyebrows at Theo as Mattheo talks. “You know, if you ever need us to come save you, we could always come up with a code word.” Draco offers and Theodore chuckles, not knowing what to say. “It’s not toxic, but I’m happy to have a moment with you guys, because she can be a bit much. She’s always so… clingy.” You chew your lip and slowly take a step back, leaving the common room as the word ‘clingy’ rings in your head. 

***

You didn’t want to lose your boyfriend due to being too clingy. So you decided to keep your distance. 

Instead of spending your evening studying cuddled up with your boyfriend you ask Hermione to help you out with potions who of course never passes the opportunity to study. Keeping up his tough act in front of his friends, Theodore can’t protest as you leave the common room to go study with your friend instead of with him. Theo feels himself get cold as he sits by the fireplace with his friends. If you’re not there to keep him warm the room just feels empty and even the conversations are boring. He can’t help but curse himself for letting you go study with Hermione. Having to make peace with an evening without you, Theodore longs for the next day and having you next to him during breakfast while you talk about your plans for the day. 

The next morning, at breakfast Theo only gets a small kiss from you before you turn to Pansy gossiping about some third years. Theodore can’t resist but snake an arm around you and you love his touch, but you try not to be too clingy and decide to not fully lean against him. Your boyfriend is happy to have you next to him, but disappointed that you stay engaged with Pansy’s gossip instead of giving him some much needed attention. Why were you not combing his hair with your fingers until it looked the way you preferred it? Why were you not checking if he had done all his homework? What was so bloody interesting about Pansy’s conversation?!! He was getting so annoyed that he was caught by surprise when you kissed him tenderly and headed for class. His mind and body were screaming to have you back by his side and walk you to class, but he just turned to his breakfast and spent the morning sulking.

Finally, after two days, he had you close to him, settled on his bed with a book in your hand. You were all alone in his room and you both enjoyed the peace and quiet. You lay between his legs with his arms around you, while his head rested on yours, reading some of the paragraphs of your book but mostly taking in your warmth and scent. He gives you a soft kiss on your cheek and you smile and lean against his chest. “I love you.” You whisper and his eyes shine even brighter than he smiles. “Love you too.” However, your romantic moment is ruined when Blaise and Mattheo enter. “Astronomy tower?” Mattheo raises his eyebrows at Theo who is about to decline the invitation, but you speak up first. “I was just about to meet up with Luna.” You jump up and Theodore's eyes go furious at the suggestion of you leaving. “No you’re not.” Theo snaps at you, shaking everyone in the room. “Why are you so eager to get away from me?” Theo questions and Blaise and Mattheo’s eyes move from their friend to you. You take a step back at your boyfriend's accusation. “I’m not. I’m just giving you space so you can hang out with your friends.” Theo shoots Blaise and Mattheo a dark glare. “Out! Both of you!” 

As soon as the duo closes the door behind them and you and Theodore are left alone in the room Theodore gets up and towers over you. “I don’t want space, I want you. So tell me what’s going on, because I can’t stand it anymore.” His voice is stern, but you feel yourself relax as you no longer have to act differently and you can finally be honest with him. “You think I’m clingy and sometimes I’m too much… and I get that and I don’t want to lose you… so I did my best to give you some space in the hopes of saving our relationship.” Theodore’s heart aches at the soft tone of your voice. How could he make you feel like you were too much when you were all he wanted. “I’m such a shit boyfriend.” Theo sighs as he sits back down on his bed, making you frown and join him. “No, I was too much.” Theo’s head snaps to you. “You are not. I didn’t want those idiots to think I was whipped or soft or- so I said you were clingy, but you're not, if anything I am… I want you around 24/7.” Your eyes widen at his confession. “Soooo, you’re saying that ‘the’ Theodore Nott is so in love with me that he prefers cuddling over hanging with his friends.” Your boyfriend chuckles. “Yeah, so please just go back to reading in my arms and make me the happiest man alive.” You lean towards him and he meets your lips. The sweet kiss quickly turns passionate as you both fall back on the bed.

For the ones who asked to be tagged, here you go lovies: @ho3forfakeguys and @bitchoftoji

[81folklore]

heaven - PIASTRI - final part

pairings: oscar piastri x private!reader (fc: gracie abrams + pinterest)

summary: on the 2 year anniversary of oscars first win in f1, everyone’s favorite couple has a surprise

type: social media au (smau)

note: well this is it!! the final part to heaven!! this ending has always been the plan and im so pleased i can finally post it, this win has been a longgg time coming and i am super stoked for oscar!!! obviously not the best race (esp for mclaren fans) but we got through it and oscar won!!!! super duper proud of my mclaren boys and i cant wait to see many more 1-2 with them!!

i honestly cant believe this is the last part to this series, this was one of the first fics i ever posted and its crazy how far its come!! to this day i get notifs that people have found the first part to this series and it blows my mind how big this has gotten. i know ive been inactive for a long time but i hope by finally finishing this fic i will find love for creating fics again!!!! love u all🩵

heaven masterlist masterlist

set 2026

youruser

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 11,629 others

two years ago my best friend asked me to marry him, i said yes immediately. how could i say no to spending the rest of my life with someone i love so deeply?

today marks 6 months of him being my husband and i feel so incredibly blessed to be able to call him that, to be able to say that someone i love, loves me back just as much

but today is also the anniversary of my boys first win, which seems crazy now that he has many more under his belt but its true, its been two years since that crazy day in hungary and one that changed us forever

i have grown so much in the time we have been together and im so pleased i was able to do it with you, osc. i love you forever and always!

tagged oscarpiastri

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oscarpiastri my favorite forever🤍

oscarpiastri marrying you was the best decision i have ever made

youruser my boy🌟🌟

comments on this post have been limited

oscarpiastri

liked by youruser, logansargeant and 1,382,003 others

i cant believe i get to call this gorgeous girl my wife, and i’ll be able to do so for the rest of our lives

you had never shone as brightly as on our wedding day, however youve continued to shine ever so bright since and i hope it never goes away, seeing you happy and content makes me feel like the luckiest man alive

thank you for saying yes all those years ago and thank you for trusting me with your heart, ill love you forever and always

your osc x

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youruser i love you so much osc

youruser you mean the world to me

landonorris congrats mate x

logansargeant i miss you guys :(

youruser we miss you too logie!!! we’ll be home soon and we will take you to dinner!!

logansargeant oscarpiastri promise?

oscarpiastri we promise

georgerussell63 happy for you both!

frederikvestiofficial come back soon i think logans withering away

oscarpiastri he’ll be fine for a few more days🙄

logansargeant nu huh!! i cant last much longer☹��

user66 oh my god she looks gorgeous 🥹🥹

oscarpiastri she is

user72 YOUR OSC😭😭😭😭

user6 im never getting over them☹️

user91 THEYRE MARRIED☹️☹️😭😭

user10 remember when yn said they werent getting married yet because they still had so much growing to do,, look at them now☹️

user47 i feel like everyones being too calm, WE DIDNT EVEN KNOW THEY WERE ENGAGED?!?!!?!

user64 LIKE WHY ARE WE NOT MORE SHOCKED

user22 bcs they are written in the stars and we all knew this was going to happen!!! liked by youruser

user30 yn with all the little babes oh i cant do this🥹🥹 liked by oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri

liked by youruser, lewishamilton and 1,392,027 others

17.01.2026

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lewishamilton so happy for you mate, it was a gorgeous ceremony💜

logansargeant my favorite people in the whole world

oscarpiastri we love you

logansargeant 🥹🥹 (i love you guys too)

youruser my boy forever and ever and ever

oscarpiastri 🤍🤍

landonorris you guysss😕😕

youruser love you lan!!!!

youruser

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a story told in many parts💐

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pinned youruser to osc, my best friend, my love, my husband i will love you until the end of time. i will hold your hand through everything and more, until death do us part x

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story song added heaven by niall horan text reads: my 🏠

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user72 OH MY FUCKING GODDDDD

user19 I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU TWO 😔😔😔😔

user63 ur literally perfect for eachother wtfwtfwtf

user90 I FEEL SICK THIS IS SO CUTE

user6 oscar is so sweet🥹🥹

youruser the sweetest!!!!

[constantmourning]

Run Away

[Buggy x AFAB!Reader]

Summary: You and Buggy get close while he's on the Going Merry.

Word count: 0.9k

Warnings: 18+! MINORS DNI! Buggy is just a head whilst giving head. Oral (f! receiving), Insecure!Reader, inappropriate use of devil fruit abilities, very too much self indulgent, not beta read.

A/N: im posting this while not sober and it's very self indulgent. Me and Buggy if I was on the going merry fr fr!! This was just something I wrote real quick while I tried to work on requests... I hope you enjoy it sdfbsdf (ALSO!! Reader may be written as AFAB, but as a trans, plus size person I wrote them with that in mind :) but like feel free to imagine whatever you want!)

For some reason, you were left to watch Buggy. Why they trusted you to watch him was honestly beyond you. Unfortunately for Luffy, you had made a new ally. Fortunately for you, your new ally was very generous. Even if you were sure it was only because he wanted off the ship.

“Buggy,” Your voice was low as you lied on your bed. Buggy’s head was in your hands, resting on your stomach. “I’ve never…” You trailed off. “Um, I don’t have much experience with this.”

“Holding a head? Most people don’t.”

“No,” Your brows furrowed, “I mean, I haven’t ever done that either. But, the people I’ve been with before… I don’t have good experiences with them and-”

“Them going down on you?” He asked. You nodded at his question. “I can change that.”

Your hands were at Buggy’s neck. Your fingers began to absentmindedly play with the hair coming out from under his bandana. Buggy’s eyes met yours and his brows furrowed. You stopped playing with his hair and apologized.

“No, you can do that again.” Buggy demanded. You felt yourself relax as you began to play with his hair again, twirling it between your fingers. “If you don’t wanna do that, we can kiss again. But the earlier offer still stands.”

You nodded, “Okay… okay.” You placed Buggy beside you and stood up. You grabbed the waistband of your shorts and quickly pulled them down. Buggy watched wide eyed as you pulled your panties and kicked them across the room. “What?” You almost covered yourself.

“I didn’t think I’d get this far…” Buggy admitted. “Did you want to leave your shirt on?”

“Yes.” You nodded, pulling at the hem of it. “I’m not too comfortable taking it off.” Buggy’s head bobbed, somewhat, and you lied back on the bed. You looked over at him and he waited for you to pick him up. “Are you sure this is okay?” You whispered, grabbing him and holding him up towards you.

Buggy hummed in response, letting you know it was okay. You placed him between your legs and pulled up your shirt slightly, giving him full access to you. You looked up at the ceiling and waited for something to happen. When Buggy did not do as he said he would, you looked down at him.

“Play with my hair again.”

You groaned. You placed your hands around him, your finger tangling with his hair once more. You gently played with it and pulled Buggy closer to you. Your legs opened a little wider and you felt Buggy begin to lap at you. Your eyes widened immediately. Your hips rolled forward and Buggy smiled against you. He was smug.

You let out a soft moan as he licked a stripe up your pussy. His tongue hit your clit and circled it. Electricity jolted through you. You gently pulled at his hair and your back arched, before pressing back into the bed. You were unsure what to do.

“What if-” You groaned, trying to keep quiet, “What if you need air?”

You pulled Buggy away from you, ever so slightly, “I’ll be fine, put me back.”

You did not argue. You pressed Buggy back between your thighs and tensed as his nose pressed to your clit. Your eyes screwed shut and your heaved. Trying to be quiet was about to get hard. And Buggy had no remorse.

You moaned out for him, your voice cracking as you tried to keep it down. “Fuck!” You shook as Buggy continued. “Just like that, please-” You were so close. You were begging for him to let you cum. “Never felt so good…” You mumbled, words barely coherent.

Buggy smiled and groaned into you as you pulled his hair. Your hips rolled into his mouth and his nose hit your clit again, your jaw went slack. Buggy’s eyes watched as you began to unravel just from his tongue. He watched as you begged and pleaded, saying you needed him. Needed him to let you cum. He wasn’t going to deny you of that, you were being too good.

One of your hands left Buggy’s neck and slapped hard against your mouth. A muffled scream bounced off the thin walls and your hips jerked up into Buggy’s face. You tensed, everything was so tense. Your eyes were shut tight and suddenly you couldn’t hold onto Buggy anymore. You were reeling and Buggy watched you struggle to regain self control.

“Fuck-” You finally formed a word. “Fuck!” You hissed out, “I don’t- Holy shit.”

“It’s okay,” Buggy was smug, still between your legs. “Take your time.”

“Buggy…” You shook your head and picked him up, placing him on your stomach again. “I think I may just have to run away with you.”

“What?”

Your eyes widened and blinked at him, “Oh… I mean… I totally enjoyed that a normal amount.”

Buggy’s eyes were wide too, “No, no, say that again. You may have to do what? I need to hear that again.”

You let out a soft laugh, "Buggy, that was so great I'm prepared to run away with you!"

You sat there for a moment. You were thankful to have been left alone with Buggy, but you were filled with an unknown emotion when you thought about leaving the straw hats for Buggy. A feeling you did not want to think too hard on.

"Remind me," you finally spoke, "I owe you once you have your body back."

[shadowsndaisies]

dogfighting 101: 05 - sugar and spice

wc: 1.6k

synopsis: hangman leaves everyone hanging... right?

main masterlist

athena-verse master post

a/n: absolutely loving all of your comments!! heres some hangman and then centric stuff which I KNOW people are waiting to see more of. the next update will be the final for dogfighting 101 but will feature an interaction between rooster and athena that probably (very honestly) wont answer your questions (yet)

“Howdy Miss ‘Thena,” is Hangman’s opening as you both enter the range.

“Hangman,” your greeting’s lacking a little luster.

Despite your early success, you’d only managed tone once and this was rotation four for you, and that’s not even taking into account the variations in which you weren’t flying and that no one else had managed to take your dad down yet.

Your arms hurt, your shoulders hurt, your back hurt, and you wanted to shower so incredibly bad. More than all of that though, you were emotionally exhausted. Flying with Bradley had been the gift that kept giving because even though you’d already gone through another rotation, you kept thinking about the blow out, about the before, about Bradley. As you stood on the tarmac again, you took in the little indents in your palms from the gravel being pushed into them during your push-ups, rubbing over one red mark and shaking your head. Safe to say, you could not wait to finish out the final few rotations, and then go home.

“What’s the matter, Honey?” the tease comes over the comms and even though you know he wants an answer all you can do is scoff.

“Getting tired of push-ups is all,” you say simply.

“I was hoping so,” Jake decides and your brow furrows. You don’t need to see him to know he was planning something.

“What are you planning?” you ask seriously, fully aware that your dad and the rest of the detachment was listening in.

“I was wondering, are you still made of sugar and spice and everything nice?” it sounds condescending, and you’re sure Phoenix and Halo are scoffing at the question, but you know better.

Sugar and Spice was a code, a reference to something you’d only ever talked through with Jake during some downtime on the carrier. Unlike Rock and Roll which you’d actually trained for with Harvard and Yale during Top Gun, Sugar and Spice was completely theoretical.

“You’re joking,” you deadpan, turning to glare at him through the canopy.

“You said you were tired of push-ups. I think it could work, especially since two highly decorated and competent aviators came up with it. Unless, of course, you’d rather continue the heavy set arm day you’ve got going on?” he says nonchalantly.

“Why does it feel like you called me a coward while also complementing me?” you scoff.

“Because you know me,” is all he offers.

“That’s a lot of chatter for two aviators who don’t have the bandit in their sights,” Maverick’s voice finally cuts through, interrupting your back and forth with Jake.

“Hangman, you got eyes?” you ask staring around and out the canopy after confirming your dad wasn’t on the radar.

“No, my guess is he’s coming from below the hard deck again,” the other aviator offers and you do a quick roll, inverting like you had on the first run.

“No contact,” you huff, rolling back.

And then all of a sudden you hear a boom and Mav comes zipping down in front of you. Breaking the sound barrier as he drops from where he’d been miles above you and Jake moving faster than you’d anticipated.

“Holy shit!” you shout.

“Oh fuck!” Jake’s curse echoes with yours.

“Fight’s on, Aviators, let’s see how your arms feel after, kid,” your dad teases as he circles around.

“Break left!” Hangman’s shout echoes.

And you do.

You break left and loop around, looking for Jake who’d gone int he opposite direction. He hadn’t ditched you, yet. Not like he had with Phoenix and Bob earlier. You know it’s not entirely fair a line of thought though, he was different with you, he’d yet to break a promise or leave you out to dry, not like he so flippantly seemed to be with everyone else. You hesitate a second longer before deciding, no, I do not want to do more push ups, and yes, I do trust Jake.

“Sugar and Spice,” you finally shout.

“Wait, really?” the surprise is evident, as if despite his cocky attitude he couldn’t believe you were agreeing.

“Yes!” you confirm, rolling your eyes. “Now move your ass, Hangman!”

“My fine ass, you mean,” he shouts back and you can hear the smirk as he loops back to meet you so you could assume the correct positions.

It’s tricky, you decide.

You always knew it would be, but you never thought you’d actually try it out. In theory, Sugar and Spice was supposed to create a gap that was a trap for the bandit. Where Rock and Roll was a distraction and attack, with each aviator having a specific goal, Sugar and Spice held more risk. Here both pilots act as the distraction, while attempting to get tone at the same time. When you’d initially talked it out with Jake there were three possible formations. Option A was the Side by Side, where you fly parallel. Option B was the Stack, where one pilot flies directly above the other. And Option C, which you had succinctly named, the collision course; in which one approaches from the tail of the bandit, and the other nose.

It seemed Jake had decided to run the collision course. It took a few maneuvers, some creative flying in order to lure Maverick into the right space at the right time, but then you were approaching form his nose, while Jake came in from the tail.

“What the fuck?” was your dads response when he realized that he had to make a choice, continue to attempt tone on you, move before Jake got tone on him, or move before you got close enough to get tone on him.

He feigned a left, which you followed, but then he made a sharp turn right.

What Mav didn’t anticipate was the height change. Jake had moved up, just enough to angle himself perfectly, and to ensure that if your dad didn’t move from the game of chicken you were playing with him, you wouldn’t just crash into your own teammate.

When Maverick flipped a hard right, probably hoping to get tone on you, Jake got tone first, having seen the move coming, and prepared accordingly.

It was silent for a moment, as the tone rang out.

“Well I’ll be damned,” Maverick’s voice crackles over the comms as if he hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

When you land Hangman’s already on the ground by your ladder, having rushed out of his jet after landing first.

You’re not even all the way down when his arms wrap around you and he pulls you down, “Holy shit, ‘Thena, that was fucking incredible!” he shouts, squeezing you for just a moment.

This is Jake, you think fondly. You liked Jake, a lot. You liked him a hell of a lot more than Hangman. Unfortunately, you knew that not everyone got to meet Jake, and that, you decided was a god damned shame.

“I mean, I always knew you were smart, ‘Thee but this idea really was something else entirely! And getting to test it out, I’m fucking ecstatic the height change worked….” he was rambling, and there was this twinkle in his eyes that made the green seem alive.

You hadn’t seen him ramble since before the announcement of the detachment, honestly not for a while if you’re honest. Maybe the last time you’d both had feet on solid ground instead of an Air Craft Carrier in the middle of the Pacific. He seemed younger, the southern drawl more evident as he talked too fast to fully enunciate each word.

“Seresin! Mitchell!” the shout from your dad forces Jake to stop, and you notice as his brain finally catches up, how he steps back from you and straightens out, how the excited gleam in his eye dies out a bit, and you frown at Jake, because you watch as he tucks the more authentic parts of himself away.

“Yes, Sir?” you ask, turning to your father who was approaching.

“Hell of a move, where’d you learn that?” he asks, looking between the two of you.

“Lieutenant Mitchell designed it, Sir. After a cat and mouse training exercise on the carrier between our squads,” and if your dad was shocked before, hearing Hangman of all people pay another pilot credit was the blackout on top of the bingo.

“It was a team effort, Sir,” you argue. “Then and now, I honestly wouldn’t have been able to do it with anyone else,” you admit, and something in both your father’s gaze, and Jake’s softens.

“Keep thinking outside the box. It’s a good skill, and you’ll need it,” your father praises you, before turning to head to Hondo for his push ups, giving the next group a bit of a break.

“Hey Maverick!” you shout after him, “Always think the 360!”

A random sentence that no one else would understand, but he would, and based off of the near prideful smile he shoots you before turning back around, you know he understood.

While your dad did his push ups and the next pairing came down, you stopped in an empty hallway. “Hey, Jake?”

“Yeah?” he asks, pausing and then turning back once he realized you were no longer right beside him.

“I’m happy it worked too. Thanks for not leaving me hanging,” you say softly.

He looks down and then back at you, brows furrowed as if something wasn’t adding up for him, “Mitchell, you should know by now, I’d never leave you,” he says in response, green eyes swirling with emotion, too many to place, but his words feel like so much more than just talking as your wingman.

...

everything: @butterfly-skinnylegend

athena’s tags: @omgbrianab @smoothdogsgirl @bazellawriz @sbrewer21 @inky-sun @djs8891 @rory-cakes @geeksareunique @je6291 @kee-0-kee @fanreader75 @whoismurphyslaw @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @thespillingvoid

if your tag is striked it means i was unable to tag you.

[03jyh23]

🥣⌇this might be love┆jeong yunho

non-idol! yunho x reader ft. roommate mingi

│synopsis: when you fall ill with a nasty cold, your roommate Mingi takes it upon himself to play matchmaker, inviting his best friend Yunho over to take care of you

│genre: friends to lovers, fluff, failed attempt on comedy

│trigger warnings: mature themes, mature language, mingi is gay, mingi plays cupid, mild illness descriptions, mild suggestive, reader is shorter than yunho

│words: 6.7 k

│reminder: what you’re about to read is purely fiction, so let’s keep it separate from reality.

│requested prompts are bold

!minors do not interact!

— hi there, my lovely people! this request has been sitting in my inbox since before my hiatus, and i'm finally posting it now! i'm really happy with how it turned out, and honestly, i like it so much! the writing process was a lot of fun, and i'm excited to share it with you! enjoy!

love, mon ♡

You were sprawled across your bed, your body feeling heavy and drained as you reached for yet another tissue from the rapidly diminishing pack. Your nose, red and irritated from constant wiping, continued its relentless dripping, while your muscles ached with a dull, persistent soreness.

The cold wasn't unbearable, but it was certainly taking its toll. It left you feeling slightly drained, your energy sapped, yet it was still within the realm of manageable discomfort. You couldn't help but loathe being sick; the inconvenience, the discomfort, and the forced inactivity all grated on your nerves. But you knew that getting plenty of rest was the best way to get better quickly. It wasn't just helpful - it was necessary to fight off the cold. The prospect of lying in bed for days wasn't appealing, but you knew it was the quickest way back to feeling like yourself again.

With a soft groan, you rolled to the other side of the bed, your hand fumbling for your phone charger. As you reached for it, you also grabbed a throat lozenge from the nightstand, hoping it would soothe the persistent tickle in your throat. Just as you were about to pop the lozenge into your mouth, a flash of color caught your eye. Peering through the crack in the door, you spotted a tuft of vibrant red hair. You raised your eyebrow, focusing your bleary eyes on the familiar sight. It was none other than Mingi, your best friend and roommate, apparently hovering just outside your door. His presence, both unexpected and comforting, brought a small smile to your face despite your illness-induced misery.

"What's up, Mings?" you asked, slightly lifting your head from the pillow to see him better.

Mingi stood in the doorway, looking uncharacteristically nervous. His hair was styled carefully, his locks falling softly onto his eyebrows and glasses. He was wearing a pink, oversized sweater, and loose light jeans that complemented his tall frame. His fingers fidgeted with the hem of his sweater as he spoke. "I was just thinking that maybe I shouldn't be leaving you all alone when you're sick?" he said, scratching the back of his neck as he looked at you with concern in his eyes.

You rolled your eyes at him playfully. "We've already talked about this. You've been waiting forever for this guy to ask you out, so please, for the love of God, just go on that date already!" Mingi stepped into your room, his fingers now fidgeting with his rings nervously. You sighed, recognizing the signs of his anxiety. "Are you trying to find an excuse not to go?" you asked, pushing yourself up to sit on your bed. You patted the spot next to you, inviting him to sit. As Mingi hesitantly made his way over, you couldn't help but notice the conflict evident in his expression. Despite your own discomfort from the cold, you felt a surge of concern for your friend.

Mingi finally sat down beside you, he cleared his throat before speaking "What if I mess it up? What if he realizes I'm not as cool as he thought I was?" His eyes darted around, avoiding your gaze.

"Mings, you're overthinking this," you said, propping yourself up on your elbow. "He asked you out because he likes you, just as you are. Besides, you're plenty cool – even when you're being a total dork." You reached out and gave Mingi's hand a reassuring squeeze. "Listen, I know first dates can be nerve-wracking, but remember, he's probably just as nervous as you are. Just be yourself, Min. That's who he wants to see." You paused, a small sneeze interrupting your pep talk. "And hey, if it doesn't go well, you can always come back here and we'll binge-watch your favorite show together, okay?"

Mingi's voice was soft, almost a whisper, as he continued, his eyes fixed on your carpet, unable to meet your gaze. "It's just that he's so... cool, you know? Like, effortlessly cool, handsome, and kind of intimidating," he started, his words coming out in a rush. He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, "And then there's me. Just... plain old me. Nothing special, nothing extraordinary. I can't help but wonder why someone like him would even be interested in someone like me."

You felt a pang of sympathy for your friend. Despite his vibrant personality and kind heart, Mingi had always struggled with self-doubt. "Hey, look at me," you said gently, waiting for Mingi to meet your eyes. "You're amazing just as you are. Your quirkiness, your passion for music, your terrible jokes—that's what makes you you. And that's exactly why he asked you out." You paused, squeezing your best friend's arm reassuringly once again, before continuing, "Trust me, Mingi, you've got so much to offer. Just be yourself and let him see the amazing person I know you are."

As you finished your pep talk, you suddenly felt the urgent need to blow your nose. You reached for a tissue and let out a loud, honking blow. Mingi's face scrunched up in a mix of amusement and mild disgust. "Alright, Miss Therapist," Mingi said, standing up with a dramatic flair. "I think I'll head out before I catch that disgusting virus of yours." He started walking towards the door, a small smile playing on his lips despite his earlier nervousness.

You watched as Mingi bent down to put on his shoes, his movements more confident now. As he straightened up, a mischievous grin spread across his face. "You know what?" Mingi said, his eyes twinkling with a mixture of playful determination and newfound confidence. "If I'm going on this date, then I think it's about time you finally asked Yunho out."

Your eyes widened in surprise, and you felt an immediate rush of heat flood your cheeks. The mere mention of Yunho's name sent your heart into a flutter, "W-what? Yunho? I don't... I mean, I..." you stammered, suddenly finding the pattern on your bedspread fascinating.

Mingi's grin widened, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes. "Oh, come on, Y/N. You can't seriously think you've been hiding it well. I've seen the way you look at him - it's like he hung the moon and stars just for you. Plus, you get all flustered and tongue-tied every time he's around. It's actually quite entertaining to watch."

You buried your face in your hands, your embarrassment compounded by your illness-induced flush. "Is it that obvious?" you mumbled through your fingers.

"Only to everyone with functioning eyes," Mingi teased, his voice softening slightly. "But don't worry, I think it's absolutely adorable that you have such a massive crush on my best friend. It's like watching a rom-com in real life."

You groaned loudly, dramatically falling back onto your pillow and pulling the covers up to hide your burning face. "Just go on your date already," you said, your voice barely audible through the layers of blankets. "Leave me here to die of embarrassment in peace."

Mingi chuckled, the sound warm and affectionate. "Alright, alright. I'll go, but don't think for a second that this conversation is over, Y/N! We're definitely revisiting this topic when I get back."

As Mingi turned to leave, a mischievous idea suddenly popped into your head. Despite your embarrassment, you couldn't resist the urge to turn the tables on him. With a grin you suddenly shouted, "I know you shaved your butthole! No sex on the first date!" just as Mingi's hand reached for the doorknob.

The effect was instantaneous. Mingi froze mid-motion, his hand hovering over the handle as if suddenly paralyzed. Slowly, almost comically, he turned back to face you, his eyes as wide as saucers and his cheeks rapidly turning a shade of red that rivaled his vibrant hair. For a long moment, he stood there, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, struggling to form coherent words. "I... You... How did you...?" he sputtered. Then, as if suddenly remembering how to function, he pointed an accusing finger at you, his expression a mix of shock, embarrassment, and grudging amusement. "You're terrible, you know that? Absolutely, fucking terrible!"

Despite your congested state and the persistent tickle in your throat, you couldn't help but burst into laughter at Mingi's priceless reaction. Your amusement quickly turned into a coughing fit, but the utterly flabbergasted look on his face made it all worthwhile. "Just go on your date, you adorable dork," you managed to say between coughs, waving him off.

Mingi shook his head, a complex mixture of embarrassment, amusement, and fondness playing across his features. "You're lucky you're sick, or I'd get you back for that comment right now," he said, finally gathering enough composure to open the door. "Get better soon, you little bitch! And don't think I won't remember this!" As the door closed behind him, you flopped back onto your pillow, still giggling despite your stuffy nose and sore throat. The brief exchange had momentarily lifted your spirits. You made a mental note to tease Mingi more about this later, once you were feeling better.

You hadn't even noticed when you fell asleep in the middle of scrolling mindlessly through your phone. The sudden chime of the doorbell jolted you awake, leaving you disoriented and groggy. How long have you been sleeping? Confusion set in as you tried to gather your thoughts. Did Mingi forget his keys? But he rarely did that. Or was he back already? That seemed unlikely given how nervous he'd been about his date. Your foggy mind raced through possibilities as you struggled to sit up, your body still heavy with sleep and illness. The doorbell rang again, more insistent this time. With a groan, you pushed yourself out of bed, wrapping a blanket around your shoulders like a cape. Your legs felt wobbly as you made your way to the door, your heart racing with a mix of curiosity. You reached for the handle, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

As the door swung open, you found yourself face to face with Yunho. His tall frame filled the doorway, and his warm brown eyes were filled with concern. Your heart skipped not just one, but several beats in quick succession, and you felt an intense warmth spread across your cheeks.

"Y/N! I hope I'm not bothering you," Yunho said, his voice gentle. The familiar timbre of his words sent a pleasant shiver down your spine, momentarily distracting you from your stuffy nose and aching muscles. "I heard you were feeling sick, so I made you some soup." he continued, a hint of shyness creeping into his voice. He held up a sizable container, "It's my grandma's special recipe, it's worked wonders for me whenever I've been sick. I swear, it's like magic in a bowl."

You blinked rapidly, momentarily stunned into silence by his incredibly thoughtful gesture. A warm, fuzzy feeling bloomed in your chest, momentarily overshadowing your illness. "Yunho, I... you really didn't have to go through all this trouble," you finally managed to say, your voice slightly hoarse and barely above a whisper.

He smiled then, a warm, genuine smile that reached his eyes, causing them to crinkle adorably at the corners. The sight made your heart do a little flip in your chest. "But I wanted to, Y/N. Taking care of you... I mean, helping you feel better is important to me," he said, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. "Do you think I could come in for a bit? I just want to make sure you're okay and maybe heat up this soup for you."

You hesitated for a moment, your illness-addled brain struggling to process the situation. But as you looked into Yunho's earnest eyes, you felt a warmth that had nothing to do with your fever. "Of course," you heard yourself say, stepping aside to let him in. "I'd love some company, actually." As Yunho entered, you couldn't help but feel that maybe being sick wasn't so bad after all. Yunho busied himself in the kitchen, and you found yourself trailing off, a question forming on your lips. "How did you know I was...?" you started your voice raspy from your cold.

Yunho glanced over his shoulder, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Well, Mingi called," he explained, turning to face you, "He was feeling pretty guilty about leaving you like that."

'This little bitch,' you thought to yourself. You tried to compose yourself, suddenly acutely aware of your disheveled appearance. Your oversized hoodie was rumpled beyond repair, and you could only imagine the state of your hair. A wave of self-consciousness hit you as you realized that you never wanted Yunho to see you like this in the first place. You ran a hand through your tangled hair, attempting to smooth it down, all while silently cursing Mingi for his well-intentioned meddling. Despite your embarrassment, a small part of you couldn't help but feel touched by Yunho's kindness.

"Hey, Y/N? I can't seem to find a pot. Where do you keep them?" Yunho’s question snapped you back to reality, and you felt a rush of embarrassment at the thought of him rummaging through your kitchen drawers.

"Oh! Sorry, they're in the cabinet above the sink," you answered, your voice still a bit raspy. You scooted over to help Yunho, determined to reach the pot yourself. However, as you approached the cabinet, the upper drawers seemed to tower above you, mockingly out of reach. Undeterred, you stretched up on your tiptoes, your fingers barely grazing the cabinet door. You could feel Yunho's presence behind you, probably watching with a mix of amusement and concern. Stubbornly, you extended yourself further, managing to hook your fingers onto the rim of the cabinet. As you strained to reach for a pot, you suddenly felt a bit lightheaded - likely a combination of your fever and the sudden vertical movement. Your balance wavered slightly, and you instinctively tightened your grip on the cabinet, determined not to embarrass yourself further in front of Yunho.

Just as you felt yourself starting to sway, you heard Yunho's deep voice behind you, tinged with a mix of amusement and concern. "I can't help you if you won't let me."

Before you could respond, you felt his warm presence directly behind you. His chest was almost touching your back as he effortlessly reached over your head, easily grasping the pot you had been struggling to reach. The proximity sent a shiver down your spine, and you were suddenly very aware of how small you felt next to him. As he lowered the bowl, his other hand gently steadied you by your waist. "Easy there," he murmured, his breath tickling your ear. "We don't want you falling and getting even sicker, do we?"

You turned to face him, your cheeks burning - though whether from embarrassment, your fever, or Yunho's closeness, you couldn't quite tell. "Thanks," you managed to mumble, taking the pot from his hands. Your fingers brushed against his, and you felt a jolt of electricity at the contact.

Yunho's eyes crinkled with a soft smile. "Anytime. Now, how about you sit down and let me take care of the rest? Doctor's orders." Despite your stubbornness, you found yourself nodding. You placed the pot on the stove, and moved towards the couch, secretly grateful for his care and attention.

As you settled onto the couch, you pulled out your phone from your hoodie's pocket. Your fingers flew across the screen as you typed out a message to Mingi:

You: You absolute little shit. Why the fuck would you send Yunho over?! I look like a zombie raccoon that's been hit by a truck. I swear I'm going to kill you... right after I thank you. Maybe. If I'm feeling generous. Which I'm not right now. 🤬😤💀

You hit send, a mix of embarrassment, anger, and reluctant gratitude swirling in your chest. Despite your annoyance, you couldn't help but smile a little at Mingi's well-intentioned meddling.

Your phone buzzed almost immediately with Mingi's replies:

Mingi: You're welcome, you ungrateful bitch! 😘 Have fun with your sexy doctor. I, on the other hand, will be getting my guts rearranged tonight. So don’t wait for me! Too bad you can't ride that Yunho rollercoaster because of your cold, but hey, at least you've got him to role play with you! 😉

Mingi: Remember, the best way to sweat out a fever is vigorous physical activity. I'm sure he can help with that. 😮‍💨

You: I told you no sex on the first date!!! I hope his dick is small and he can't fuck!!! 😤

You smirked as you sent the message, feeling a mix of satisfaction and lingering embarrassment. Your attention was quickly drawn back to the kitchen as you heard the clatter of utensils and the gentle simmering of soup. Your phone buzzed again, but before you could check Mingi's response, you heard Yunho's voice from the kitchen. "Soup's ready! Are you comfortable out there?"

You quickly pocketed your phone, your playful argument with Mingi momentarily forgotten as you focused on the care and attention Yunho was showing you. "Yeah, I'm comfortable," you called back, snuggling deeper into the couch cushions.

Yunho appeared a moment later, carefully carrying a steaming bowl. He set it down on the coffee table in front of you with a flourish. "Here you go! My grandma's secret recipe. It'll have you feeling better in no time." You smiled gratefully, picking up the spoon and dipping it into the soup. The liquid was a murky brown color, with unidentifiable chunks floating in it. You hesitated for a moment, then brought the spoon to your lips. As soon as the soup touched your tongue, you had to fight the urge to spit it out. It was... terrible. The taste was a bizarre mix of overly salty and oddly sweet, with a bitter aftertaste that clung to your palate. You swallowed hard, trying to keep a neutral expression on your face. Yunho was watching you expectantly, his eyes bright with hope. "Well? How is it?" You opened your mouth, ready to lie through your teeth, when a chunk of something chewy and unpleasant slid down your throat. Before you could stop yourself, you started coughing and spluttering. "Oh no," Yunho said, his face falling. "Is it that bad?"

With tears in your eyes from the uncomfortable coughing session, you shook your head. "No, it's... it's good," you stammered, trying to catch your breath.

Yunho's concerned expression softened slightly, but doubt still lingered in his eyes. "Are you sure? You don't have to pretend if it's not good. I know my cooking skills aren't the best..."

You felt a pang of guilt at his crestfallen look. Despite the soup's awful taste, you couldn't bear to hurt his feelings when he had gone out of his way to take care of you. "Really, it's fine," you insisted, forcing a smile. "It just went down the wrong way. I'm sure it'll help me feel better in no time." Yunho's face brightened at your reassurance, and you steeled yourself to take another spoonful of the concoction. As you raised the spoon to your lips, you silently prayed that your taste buds would miraculously adjust to the flavor. After all, how bad could it be if it came from a grandmother's recipe? But as you brought the spoon closer to your mouth, your stomach churned in protest. The pungent aroma wafting from the soup made your nostrils flare, and you felt a wave of nausea wash over you. Your hand trembled slightly, and you realized you simply couldn't force yourself to take another bite. Lowering the spoon back into the bowl, you looked up at Yunho with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Yunho. I really appreciate you making this for me, but… it tastes fucking terrible.’’

Yunho chuckled and quickly covered his lips with his hand, trying to compose himself. "Fuck, I'm sorry... I know I'm not the best cook but—" he trailed off, unable to contain his laughter. You couldn't help but join in, your own laughter bubbling up despite your illness. The tension in the room dissipated as you both giggled, the terrible soup becoming a shared joke between you. "I guess I won't be winning any cooking competitions anytime soon," Yunho said, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Maybe stick to dancing," you teased, feeling more at ease now that the truth was out. "But seriously, thank you for trying. It means a lot."

Yunho's smile softened. "Anytime. How about we order some real food instead?"

You smiled weakly at Yunho, "Actually, I'm not really that hungry," you admitted, your stomach still unsettled from the combination of your cold and the attempt at soup. "But thank you for offering."

Yunho's expression shifted to one of concern. "Oh, I'm sorry. I should have realized you might not have much of an appetite. Is there anything else I can do to help you feel better?"

You felt a warmth in your chest at his genuine care. "Just having you here is nice," you said softly, then quickly added, "But maybe we could watch a movie or something? If you're not too busy, that is."

Yunho's face lit up with a gentle smile. "That sounds perfect. I've got nowhere else to be. Let's find something light and fun to watch, okay?" You settled back into the couch, pulling your blanket closer around you as Yunho grabbed the remote. As he scrolled through the movie options, you felt a strange mix of comfort and nervousness. His presence was soothing, yet you couldn't help but be hyper-aware of every move he made. You silently hoped your stuffy nose wouldn't ruin the movie experience for both of you.

As Yunho continued scrolling through movie options, your phone chimed with a series of text notifications. You glanced at the screen to see multiple messages from Mingi popping up in quick succession:

Mingi: Actually, I've given it some thought. Don't let this damn cold cock-block you! 🍆 🍆 😏😏 You and Yunho should have some fun since I’m not around! 😋

Mingi: So with that being said! Time for some vitamin D(ick)! It's scientifically proven to boost your immune system. Trust me, I'm a doctor. 🤭😎

Mingi: Oh, and remember!!! Orgasms clear sinuses. It's basically medicine. 😏😏

You felt your face burning hotter than your fever as you quickly shoved your phone under a pillow, praying Yunho hadn't seen any of Mingi's increasingly explicit messages.

"Hey, I saw my name on your screen. Everything okay?" Yunho asked, his eyebrows raised in curiosity. Your heart skipped a beat, realizing he had caught a glimpse of Mingi's suggestive messages.

You fumbled for words, trying to come up with a plausible explanation that wouldn't make the situation even more awkward. "Oh, it's just... Mingi being Mingi," you said with a nervous laugh, hoping to brush it off. "You know how he can be sometimes."

Yunho's lips quirked into a small smile. "Yeah, I do know. Should I be worried about what he's saying?"

You shook your head quickly, perhaps a bit too eagerly. "No, no! It's nothing. Just... silly stuff. You know him."

Yunho nodded, but his eyes held a hint of amusement. "Alright, if you say so." You felt a mix of relief and lingering embarrassment as Yunho turned his attention back to the movie selection.

As you finally settled on a movie, you found it increasingly difficult to focus on the scenes. Your eyelids grew heavy, the fatigue from your illness weighing you down. You tried to stay awake, not wanting to be rude to Yunho, but the struggle was real. His presence beside your curled-up form was both comforting and distracting. His scent, a subtle mix of clean laundry and something floral, enveloped you. It was soothing, almost lulling you further into sleepiness. You found yourself unconsciously leaning slightly towards him, drawn to his warmth and the sense of security he provided. As you fought against the encroaching drowsiness, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of embarrassment. Here you were, sick and probably looking a mess, practically falling asleep on Yunho. Yet, a small part of you reveled in the closeness, in the care he was showing you. Your thoughts became increasingly fuzzy as sleep threatened to overtake you the movie fading into background noise as Yunho's presence became the most prominent thing in your awareness. Your eyelids grew heavier and you felt a gentle movement beside you. Yunho hesitantly put his arm around your shoulder, bringing your body slightly closer to him. The sudden warmth and proximity startled you into alertness, and you looked up at him questioningly.

His eyes met yours, a mix of concern and something softer, almost tender, in his gaze. "You looked like you were about to fall over," he explained softly, his voice barely above a whisper. "I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable. Is this okay?"

You felt a flutter in your chest, your heart rate picking up despite your fatigue. The gesture was so gentle, so caring, that it momentarily made you forget about your illness. You found yourself nodding, a small smile tugging at your lips as you allowed yourself to relax into his embrace. "Oh... yeah, it's alright," you murmured softly, feeling a knot form in your stomach. Your heart began racing, its rapid beats echoing in your ears. The sudden closeness to Yunho, while comforting, also sparked a wave of nervous energy through your body. "But maybe it's not a good idea for me to be so close?" you almost whispered. "I wouldn't want you to get sick."

Yunho's arm tightened slightly around you, and you could feel the rumble of his soft chuckle. "Don't worry about me," he said, his voice low and reassuring. "I've got a strong immune system. Besides, taking care of you is more important right now." His words sent a warmth spreading through your chest, conflicting with the guilt you felt about potentially passing on your illness. You opened your mouth to protest again, but Yunho gently shushed you. "Just relax," he murmured, his thumb tracing soothing circles on your shoulder. You looked up at him, trying to read his face and decipher his motives. Of course, you were happy to have him so close, but this wasn't typical Yunho behavior towards you. Usually, you'd spend time together with him and Mingi, playing games or going out for drinks. On days when you felt particularly anxious, you'd retreat to your room, leaving the boys to their fun. But now, for the first time, it was truly just the two of you.

You took in his handsome features, realizing he was even more attractive up close. Relax? How could you possibly relax with your heart racing like this? How could you relax when all you could think about was closing the distance between you?

And then, in that charged moment, your body betrayed you. You sneezed. Not just a small, polite sneeze, but a loud, explosive one that sent droplets flying. You immediately covered your face with your hands, mortified.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry," you mumbled through your fingers, your face burning with embarrassment. You could feel Yunho's body shaking slightly, and when you dared to peek up at him, you saw he was trying to suppress his laughter. His laughter was contagious, and despite your embarrassment, you found yourself giggling too. The tension broke, and you both dissolved into a fit of laughter.

As your laughter subsided, Yunho wiped a tear from his eye and grinned at you. "Well, I guess that's one way to clear the air," he joked, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

You groaned, burying your face in your hands again. "I can't believe I just did that," you mumbled, your voice muffled.

Yunho chuckled, gently pulling your hands away from your face. "Hey, look at it this way," he said, his tone playful, "if I don't get sick after that sneeze, I'm probably immune to everything. You might have just given me superpowers."

You couldn't help but laugh at his ridiculous statement. "Oh yeah? What kind of superpowers are we talking about here?" you asked, playing along.

Yunho pretended to think for a moment. "Hmm... maybe the ability to detect oncoming sneezes within a five-mile radius? Or perhaps instant tissue summoning?" He wiggled his fingers dramatically. "Behold, the amazing Sneeze-Man!" His silly antics made you laugh even harder, momentarily forgetting about your embarrassment. In that moment, you felt incredibly grateful for Yunho's ability to turn an awkward situation into something light-hearted and fun.

As the laughter died down, a comfortable silence settled between you. You felt a surge of warmth and gratitude wash over you, and before you could second-guess yourself, you decided to voice your feelings. "Yunho," you started, your voice soft but steady, "I'm really happy you came."

You held your breath, heart pounding as you waited for his response. Yunho smiled softly at you, reaching for a tissue from the coffee table and gently handing it to you. "How could I not?" he replied, his voice warm and filled with an emotion you couldn't quite place. His eyes met yours, and there was a tenderness in them that made your heart skip a beat. "You're important to me, you know." The way he said it, the look in his eyes - it felt like he was hinting at something more, something deeper than just friendship.

You felt a flutter of hope in your chest, wondering if maybe, just maybe, your feelings weren't as one-sided as you'd thought. "You care about me?" you mouthed, your voice barely above a whisper. The words felt heavy on your tongue, laden with hope and uncertainty.

Yunho's eyes softened, a gentle smile playing on his lips. "Of course I do. Did you think I didn't?"

You hesitated, your gaze dropping to your hands. "I... I guess I always thought you only hung out with me because of Mingi. That you only came over to see him, and I was just... there."

Yunho's eyebrows furrowed, a look of surprise and something akin to hurt crossing his face. "What? No, that's not true at all," he said, his voice firm but gentle. He reached out, gently tilting your chin up to meet his gaze. "I come over because I want to see you, too. Mingi's my best friend, sure, but you're important to me in your own right."

You felt your heart skip a beat at his words and the intensity in his eyes. "Really?" you asked, hardly daring to believe it.

Yunho nodded, his hand moving to cup your cheek. "Really. I thought you knew that. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you were just an afterthought. You're so much more than that to me." The sincerity in his voice made your breath catch in your throat. You found yourself leaning into his touch, your earlier worries about getting him sick momentarily forgotten. You must have looked dumbfounded, your mouth slightly open, as you looked at him in pure shock. Yunho giggled at your expression, gently pulling you closer until you were almost leaning straight into his chest. You gasped, your eyebrows rising in surprise. Yunho looked you straight in the eyes, a mix of amusement and tenderness in his gaze. "What?" he asked softly, his voice tinged with a hint of playfulness. The closeness between you was overwhelming, his warmth enveloping you, his scent filling your senses. Your heart raced, torn between the desire to lean in further and the lingering worry. You found yourself frozen, caught between your feelings and your concerns, as you stared into Yunho's eyes, searching for answers to questions you weren't even sure how to ask.

Yunho's expression softened, a hint of vulnerability creeping into his features. He took a deep breath, as if steeling himself for what he was about to say. "Y/N," he began, his voice low and earnest, "I... I like you. And not just in a friendly way." Your eyes widened in surprise, but before you could respond, Yunho continued, a slight blush coloring his cheeks. "I hope that's okay. That I like you, I mean. Because I do. A lot."

Your eyes widened even further, your mouth opening and closing as you tried to form a coherent response. Your brows furrowed in surprise, your mind racing to process Yunho's confession. You felt a mix of elation and disbelief, your heart pounding in your chest. "I... I..." you started, your voice barely above a whisper. The words seemed to catch in your throat, refusing to come out. You swallowed hard, trying to gather your thoughts. Your gaze flickered between Yunho's eyes and his lips, your own parted in an attempt to speak. Yunho waited patiently, his eyes never leaving yours, a mix of hope and nervousness evident in his expression.

"Fuck it," you muttered under your breath, barely audible. Then, gathering all your courage, you looked straight into Yunho's eyes and said, "I like you too." The words tumbled out in a rush, your voice trembling slightly with emotion and nervousness. "I really, really like you." As soon as the words left your mouth, you felt a wave of relief wash over you. Your heart was still racing, but now it was from excitement rather than anxiety.

Yunho's face lit up with a brilliant smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "I'm so glad," he murmured, his voice filled with genuine happiness. Yunho's arm fell from your shoulders to your waist, gently wrapping around you and pulling you closer. "So..." Yunho continued, his voice taking on a playful tone that made your heart skip a beat. "What do you think about putting some of Mingi's... unconventional health advice to the test?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, causing a burst of laughter to escape your lips despite your best efforts to maintain a serious expression.

You couldn't help but gasp, your hand flying to your chest in an exaggerated display of shock. "Yunho!" you exclaimed, your voice a mix of amusement and disbelief. "Don't tell me you actually read those messages!" You punctuated your words with a gentle, playful swat to his chest, your fingers lingering perhaps a moment longer than necessary.

Yunho's response was to throw his head back in laughter, the sound rich and warm, filling the room and making your heart swell with affection. When he finally composed himself, he leaned in close, his breath tickling your ear as he whispered conspiratorially, "Would it make you feel any better if I told you that our dear friend Mingi sent me an equally... enlightening set of texts?" His eyes twinkled with mischief as he pulled back to gauge your reaction, a smile playing at the corners of his lips.

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, a mix of curiosity and amusement dancing across your features. "Oh really?" you asked, your voice laced with intrigue. "And what exactly did our Mingi have to say to you?" You leaned in closer, your eyes locked with Yunho's, eager to hear his response.

Yunho's eyes sparkled with mischief as he leaned in even closer, his lips nearly brushing against your ear. "Let's just say," he murmured, his voice low and husky, "that Mingi was very... thorough in his medical advice." He pulled back slightly, his gaze meeting yours. He cleared his throat, clearly a bit flustered. "But I think I'd rather focus on what you want, not Mingi's wild ideas."

A warmth spread through your chest at his words. Despite the playful atmosphere, there was a tenderness in Yunho's eyes that made your heart race. "And what if..." you began, your voice barely above a whisper, "what if I want to test Mingi's theories?"

Yunho's eyes widened, a mix of surprise and excitement flickering across his face. "Well, if that's what you want... I'm more than happy to oblige." His hand gently cupped your cheek, his thumb tracing soft circles on your skin as he gazed into your eyes, silently seeking permission. You leaned in, your heart racing with anticipation. But just as your lips were about to meet Yunho's, you felt an all-too-familiar tickle in your nose. Your eyes widened in panic.

"Oh no," you managed to whisper, before turning your head away at the last second. "ACHOO!" The sneeze erupted, loud and forceful, completely shattering the romantic moment.

Yunho jerked back in surprise, blinking rapidly. For a moment, you both sat in stunned silence, the abrupt shift from intimate to awkward leaving you both at a loss for words. Then, as if on cue, you both burst into laughter. Yunho's shoulders shook as he chuckled, while you buried your face in your hands, your giggles muffled but unmistakable.

"Well," Yunho said, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes, "I guess your cold isn't quite ready to let us test those theories just yet."

You peeked at him through your fingers, your face flushed with both embarrassment and amusement. "I'm so sorry," you mumbled, though you couldn't help but smile.

Yunho gently pulled your hands away from your face, his eyes twinkling with affection. "Don't be. I think it's safe to say that this is a moment we'll never forget."

As your laughter subsided, Yunho pulled you into a warm embrace. "How about we put those theories on hold for now and focus on getting you better first?" he suggested softly.

You nodded, snuggling into his chest. "That sounds perfect," you replied, feeling grateful for Yunho's understanding and care. As embarrassing as the moment had been, you couldn't help but feel that it had only brought you closer together.

♡│if you enjoy my writing please consider supporting me by tagging and reblogging│

[putschki1969]

KALAFINA REUNION 📢IT'S TRUE📢

Why did I even go to bed last night??! Damn it, I lost precious time. Anways, many of you must have seen my post last night about that ominous Nikkan Sports article speculating about a possible comeback of Kalafina. I honestly thought it was fake news since it contained a ton of unconfirmed/uncredited information. However, there was lots of interesting stuff that kept me from dismissing it entirely. I mean, who would go through all the trouble coming up with details such as specific quotes or exact concert details? Turns out they mostly got the dates mixed up but the rest was true. At noon Japanese Standard Time, we got all of our official announcements. Here's the gist of it〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

Kalafina Staff Posts 1 & 2 on Twitter

Announcement of "Kalafina Anniversary LIVE 2025" Date: Wednesday, January 15, 2025 Open at 17:30 /Start 18:30 Venue: Tokyo Garden Theater Performers: Kalafina (Wakana, Keiko, Hikaru) Music Director: Takebe Satoshi

To everyone who loves and supports Kalafina We have decided to hold a "Kalafina Anniversary LlVE 2025". We want to sing together as a trio again, knowing that you all have always cherished Kalafina, even while we are doing solo activities. We look forward to seeing you there! Kalafina (Wakana, Keiko, Hikaru)

Ticket sales are scheduled for the following dates: ■Wakana/KEIKO Fan Club Advanced Lottery October 10, 2024, 11:00 - October 20, 23:59 ■Hikaru X (formerly Twitter) Advanced Lottery October 25, 11:00 - November 4, 23:59 ■General Ticket Lottery November 9, 11:00 - November 11, 23:59

Keiko Posts 1 & 2 on Twitter & Fan Club Site & Tristone & Instagram post

To all our supporters We have decided to hold a "Kalafina Anniversary LlVE 2025". Through my solo activities and activities with FictionJunction, I have had many new encounters and taken on new challenges, and I am where I am today thanks to the support of many people. This is a personal matter, but the reason I took a break from singing and then decided to sing again was because of Yuki Kajiura's music. And it was the feelings of everyone who has supported us up until now that led to this event. I am grateful for those feelings, and I am simply happy that the three of us can deliver Kalafina's music again. I am truly looking forward to seeing you all next year. KEIKO

Hikaru's Post on Twitter and Instagram

To everyone who always supports us We are happy to announce that we'll be holding a "Kalafina Anniversary LlVE 2025". Even during my solo activities, I always got a strong sense of everyone's love for Kalafina. I'm grateful we are getting this opportunity to sing together again as a trio and to perform all those treasured songs which Yuki Kajiura has written for us. I hope we can raise a new flag together with all of you. I look forward to seeing you there that day! 2024.10.03 Hikaru

Wakana Posts on Twitter & Botanical Land & Instagram post

(We finally have an official statement from Wakana on her Insta) It has been decided that an "Kalafina Anniversary LIVE 2025" will be held on January 15th next year. From 2018 to the present, we have each pursued our own music, but we have decided to sing together again. I would like to express my sincere gratitude to all of you who always think of and love Kalafina. I am very much looking forward to meeting you all.

Satoshi Takebe Tweet 1 & Tweet 2 & Tweet 3 (deleted)

Today I had a meeting with some artists I truly respect and had a beer in the middle of the day 🍺 We had a fun afternoon. I hope there will be lots of fun things to do next year too. I can't say anything yet, but I'm already working on some exciting projects!! (Tweet 1)

I believe that my mission is to support artists. It is never my intention to betray or hurt people. That is the one thing I have always stayed true to, and I will continue to do so. It may sound naive, but I believe that sincerity and passion are what motivate people. (Tweet 2)

Due to confidentiality obligations, I cannot explain the situation. However, Kajiura-san is an artist I respect, she's a wonderful musician, and I am a fan of the music she creates. I would like to support the three members with the utmost respect. (Tweet 3 - deleted)

Tweet by Yuki Kajiura & Tweet 2 & Tweet 3

Regarding Kalafina I've received some inquiries in relation to the most recent announcement of an upcoming Kalafina Live Concert so I'd like to use this opportunity to clarify that I, Yuki Kajiura, will not have no involvement whatsoever in this concert. Furthermore, I have not received any advance notice or explanation from the organisers or any of the group members. Given the situation, I am therefore unable to answer any questions. I apologise, but any future inquiries regarding Kalafina should be directed at the organisers and official agencies of the group members.

I believe the members of Kalafina have decided to step away from me as their producer to go on a new path that is not related to me. I had been searching for a way to work together again in the future to create new Kalafina music but that will no longer be happening. It is very unfortunate but this is the road that each member has chosen. We are all individuals searching for our personal musical path so things like this happen.

As you all know, the three of them are truly wonderful singers so I have no doubt that they will continue to deliver amazing vocals and music to their fans. I would like to express my sincere gratitude once again for the privilege and happiness of having been able to create music together with them for nearly ten years, and I wish Kalafina continued success in the future.

Yuki Kajiura (Tweet 1)

I hope for a great success regarding the upcoming concert, and that's all I can say about this. I hope to continue making music in a cheerful and fun way in the future (^^). (Tweet 2)

This may be an unnecessary remark, but… there's no way that Kalafina will no longer be able to sing their past songs just because one producer has left, and I personally don't wish that upon them.

I'm sure they'll create a wonderful harmony at their live show in January, so I hope you'll give thunderous cheers and applause to Kalafina's singing and to the musicians who support them on stage. Once again, I wish them all the success in the world. (Tweet 3)

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Wow. All of this is wild. I don't even know what to say. I can hardly believe it. On one hand, I am beyond happy and excited. There's no way I will not be there for this concert and everything beyond that. But on the other hand, all the announcements make this feel a little bittersweet. The personal statements by Wakana, Keiko and Hikaru don't necessarily feel disingenuous but they sound a bit flat and forced. Sadly, there's no personal statement from Wakana yet. Obviously, the elephant in the room is Yuki Kajiura's statement and her exclusion from the entire project. The way her statement is written comes off as quite bitter, passive aggressive and honestly a little petty which doesn't bode well for the future (maybe her manager Mori asked her to phrase it in such a way to make the organisers look bad. And I can understand why she would feel frustrated at being excluded like that). Mostly, I interpret her standoffish attitude as a knee-jerk reaction or as a way to strongly distance herself from the whole thing and not so much as an attempt to bash the members (the latter half of the statement would indicate that at least). Also, she already seems to regret posting such a harsh statement and posted a couple of follow-up tweets. I truly do not understand what is going on behind the scenes to cause so much hostility between Yuki Kajiura, her management and whoever is pulling the strings for this Kalafina reunion (presumably Space Craft's management). My best guess is that Space Craft is at least somehow involved in this project since both Wakana and Satoshi Takebe are able to participate (Takebe is not affiliated with Space Craft but he's been in charge of almost all of Wakana's solo work so maybe there are some ties to the agency).It looks like Space Craft are adamant about not working together with YK (same old childish attitude). Then again, Satoshi Takebe has enough influence in the industry to organise a project like this without the help of Space Craft. Maybe Sony is also involved? I have no idea. Hope we are getting more details once the ticket lotteries start. A new Kalafina website (still being developed) has popped up and it's run by Space Craft so that's probably proof enough that they are one of the main players in all of this.

I wonder if this was a spur of the moment thing once they realised how much hype there still exists for Kalafina after that "ring your bell" performance at the FSN event...Overall, the timing is so weird, Why now? I mean, this doesn't sound like it has been in the making for a very long time based on the fact that Yuki Kajiura didn't even know about it. Keiko and Hikaru literally collaborated with her a couple of weeks ago so how did this topic not come up even once???! Wonder how it will affect future collaborations between Yuki, Keiko and Hikaru? They still have the Asia tour dates coming up in November so I can imagine it would be kinda awkward to work together after this bomb has been dropped. Will they still be covering Kalafina songs? Either way, I refuse to believe tha there has been a real falling out between any of them. It comes across like a series of unfortunate events. Maybe some miscommunication and rushed action but nothing that couldn't be cleared up with a proper conversation.

One thing I'm also curious about is whether or not Satoshi Takebe will take on the role as producer for future music (if they are even planning to go down that route?? It does sound like they might have new projects/releases in store for us...I do feel a little conflicted about that since Yuki Kajiura is such an important component of Kalafina. This is basically what I thought would happen back in 2018/2019. With someone else coming in to take charge of the music production. Back then I wasn't completely against the idea since I was convinced the girls could make it work (especially with the help of someone as established and competent as Satoshi Takebe) but it certainly wasn't my preferred option. Ughhh, I will remain open-minded for the time being. My love for Wakana, Keiko and Hikaru goes beyond anything so as of right now, I feel happy and excited. The live in January will be a celebration of Kalafina so there's no way I'm not going. If they continue to hold "tribute" concerts like this, it will mostly be a nostalgic cash-grab but hey, I'm the target group for that. They can have all my money. And I can definitely see myself supporting them in future projects even with Yuki Kajiura out of the picture. Takebe has been engaging in some surprisingly frank one-on-one discussions on Twitter and so far, it looks like certain confidentiality agreements keep him from going into detail in the matter but his involvement as of right now is limited to being a director/producer for the concert on January 15.

It goes without saying that I will not tolerate any hate towards the girls on this blog! If you are bitter that Yuki Kajiura is not involved, that's your prerogative, I'm sure this will antagonise quite a few hardcore YK fans. But please, don't shit on the members for making this decision. I'm sure they put a lot of thought into it and felt like this course of action was in everyone's best interest. They are clearly thinking about the fans, their own passion/love for Kalafina's music and obviously their careers within the industry.

[satubby]

[Once upon a dream: Where you were happy]

As once in the dream, where you forgot your memories by my side, I will still be waiting for you, so please just don't forget who you were … My precious daughter of man - Malleus Draconia

[Disclaimer: This may contain errors so I'm sorry if they bother you or confuse you when reading. I didn't think this would be so long, I will finish part 3 in a few weeks. Thanks for your support, credits to the fanart I use, if I find their artists I'll post them.]

Morning was rising outside but the curtains cast shadows in your room, then the doors opened and the maids came into your room, they were all making as much noise as ever, you sigh exhaustedly refusing to look at them. "Come on princess, get up, today is your 16th birthday" One of them said, pulling you out of bed.

"I'm coming, I'm coming... It's too early for this" You sigh, getting up and heading to the powder room, you swallowed your bitterness smiling like the 'worthy and pretty princess' you were, then the maids. did their job starting to comb your hair. Your gaze was distant and you constantly clutched your dress, you were beautiful yes, but you honestly didn't care.

"Ouch, damn it" You whisper, feeling their eyes constantly on the back of your head. 

"Watch your mouth princess" murmured one, they continued brushing your hair and making you presentable, they always made sure you looked good. As you sat there, the doors opened again and a tall figure walked in. It was the housekeeper serving the queen, she entered haughty and powerful, all the maids in your service began to murmur. "Please hurry princess, you wouldn't want to embarrass the emperor and empress, would you?" 

You almost wanted to wring his neck but you knew better than to do stupid things. So you stood up without paying attention to his 'reprimand' and bowed your body politely, bowing your head as well, after all, you were a princess without any power.

 "Yes, thank you for letting me know...I assure you I only wish the best for the kingdom and the imperial family" She looks you with that very, very stiff and bitter face. After that incident like every morning, you moved towards the emperor's castle because you lived in the empress castle, farther than any other room, you used to live in the basement where they put weapons and old stuff but it was something. 

Walking down the hall, your arrival is announced, with trumpets and a red carpet. You know they're just pretending, no one gives a shit if you got in or not.

"ATTENTION!!! THIS IS THE INCOMING HEIR PRINCESS!" closing your eyes you enter with dignity as you were taught, you felt the pressure on your being before those judging eyes of the pompous nobles, so you tried not to look bad. Some looked at you with barely concealed disgust, others simply didn't look at you and the rest whispered like silly little birds cackling incessantly amidst rumors and gossip. 

Your strides echoed with the sound of the floor as you walked towards the rulers of this place you hated to call home; the looks they gave you were either filled with disgust or filled with envy as they stepped aside to make way for you. The hall in front of you slowly filled with people after you walked away and approached the throne on the platform. 

The emperor was sitting upright on his throne, next to him was the empress, looking majestic and presumptuous, as always. The empress smiled slightly as you knelt before them, both extended their hands waiting for a kiss from you, most of all it was the woman before you who gave you that silent command.

The empress stroked your hair with false kindness when you complied with her order, still with her smile on her face she continued to enjoy your humiliation, it disgusted you to look like a mere dog... And the emperor didn't even do anything, he never really cared about you. 

"Happy sixteenth birthday my dear.... Now I hope you won't do anything to make us sad; or would you like to see her highness disappointed?" Her lips brushed your lobe warning you with sincere malice, then she walked away from you smiling as if nothing had happened, you didn't even react, you knew what she wanted, you wouldn't give her that.

"Thank you for- Your worries, your highness and beloved emperor.... I wish you good vibes and I hope you live long!" With those words, you forced a forced smile swallowing your little pride and the bile in your throat felt bitter. You sincerely praised yourself, since you were good at acting, you had to do it if you wanted to survive. 

Again the emperor looked at you without interest and gave you permission to leave, so you did and like every year, you were alone on your birthday, the gifts were not really for you, much less was this party... And honestly you had long ago stopped giving it importance. 

Once he gave you permission to leave, you could leave the throne room and get away from this heavy atmosphere that only made you feel sick and want to vomit because of so much hypocrisy in the air. Although before you managed to get out of sight you could hear the nobles start whispering and gossiping behind your back. 

They were noisy, much louder than a rooster would be at morning crowing time, but what could you do? Nothing and just thinking about them gave you headaches. You continue down the halls, with a couple of maids walking behind you who don't care for you either. They never really liked you, so they just followed you as their job ordered, even you wouldn't want to be with yourself, you were a bitter mess. 

"Please leave me alone, okay? I need air" You turned around stopping at the entrance towards a balcony. They look at you confused but they care so little about you that they better bow and leave, you on the other hand headed for the nearby balcony, stretching your legs and leaning your body against the marble railing.

Looking down at the ground, you let out sighs and snorts, then unleash your usual attitude of resignation and rebellion, only being alone you can say or do the little you can, the little freedom you had.  

 "Fuck those fucking nobles, I didn't even want to come— Fucking loudmouths, they're just vultures hoping I'm wrong, honestly... GO TO THE FUCK THEM ALL!! That fucking housekeeper, the emperor and the fucking empress!.... Anyway, I hope this day ends soon"

You let your head fall on your shoulders, looking resigned to your situation, you were sick of following these stupid rules. A lady doesn't do this, a lady doesn't do that— You are at your limit and yet you can only complain to yourself or suffer your punishments. 

Your eyes unconsciously looked at parts of your body, you bit your lips in frustration.... Those scars still hurt, but you had to bear them because that made you a princess- Although honestly you always had that doubt, Did princesses really do that? In your stories it was something else. But laughing, remind yourself that they are just that, stories annnnd, since you were a child you didn't know who you were before coming here, you were always told what to say or do, as you were foolish and naive, you blindly followed in fear of that damned bitch of an empress. 

You were the puppet in her theatrical play, used and punished if something didn't go her way. Sometimes you wanted to kill her, but you'd rather keep your neck in your body. No one would help a dirty blood like you, a stupid girl with no connection or power whatsoever plus your stupid insignificant elven powers weren't even strong you could only heal scrapes or make little lights because according to rumors; your dead mother wasn't a complete elf. 

"These heels burn so much, maybe I should throw them away... But that damn woman will punish me if I do. It's a real shame my birthday sucks and the weather is so nice, which is ironic because I'm a mess."

You drop your body onto a nearby table, playing with your fingers, you didn't know at what point you started to fall asleep. 

While you were dozing on that table, lost in a kind of dream, you began to feel like you were floating in the air, reality became a dream and vice versa. At some point you opened your eyes in a strange place, it was all white and there was only you, but your body was shining, as if the stars had given you their remains to make you shine.

Your thoughts are interrupted by the giggling of a little girl, a very familiar one, that hair and tattered clothes were familiar even though you couldn't see her face. 

"Hello? ... How strange, I swore I heard something-"

You scratched your eyes thinking you were still hallucinating. You had just fallen asleep and didn't know how you got here. 

"Haha... Nyum!"

There it was again, that childish giggle attracted you again, then turning towards where it came from, you saw a completely white silhouette standing in the middle of the void. 

"Hey girl, what are we doing in this place and-? Wait!" You exclaimed starting to follow her, as she started to run, the emptiness started to change. 

The more you ran, the more it changed, the ground felt soft as you now stepped on clouds. Tall mirrors filled your vision like a maze, then again you heard the girl's giggle. 

"Haha! You can't catch me.."

Your eyes followed her silhouette in confusion, she was as energetic and elusive as... You, from childhood. You didn't know why, but you began to follow her, all these hallways of mirrors reflected both figures. 

"Girl don't run! Ugh, just tell me what this place is, fuck I just wanted to sleep and I ended up here!"

Sighing tired from so much running, you stop to rest, however something caught your attention; some mirrors were worn or broken, others simply had nothing to reflect. 

And the farther away you went the darker this place became, you two glowed as the darkness swallowed you. Then you see her entering a specific mirror, it was full of thorns and wilted roses, this place was silent, her giggling stopped being heard, slowly you went towards that mirror. 

"That girl- How strange, she took me all this way just to see this mirror?"

You whisper without understanding this strange dream, if it was one to begin with. 

So lost were you in your thoughts, that you don't even notice when your hand goes through the mirror and you are swallowed by it, unlike others, this mirror is dark as much as the the glass it was made of as its withered wooden frame. 

Screaming as you fall, you feel the air seep into your tresses shaking and making a mess of it, your dress suddenly changed as you landed in a brutish thump.

With pain in your body, you slowly got up spitting grass, that strange fall made you feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. Slowly you could stand up on your own feet, you were without shoes which seemed strange but what did you expect? This dream is strange in itself. 

"I must stop getting so much in my head— come to think of it, where did that mirror take me?"

You turned around looking at your surroundings, however the girl glimpsed out of the corner of your eye again, laughing at you and making you angry. 

"HEY COME BACK HERE YOU SHATTERING BRAT!"

Now you felt like the empress every time you yelled at the silhouette. Fuck! Some habits stick with people. 

She kept running into the mist of this dark forest, with you following behind her, the branches on your feet and the wildlife of the place making you scrape, but it didn't matter. You wanted to know how to get out of this place. 

"Jijiji! I'm faster than you..." Whispered the brat, her silhouette running and when you finally came out of the dark forest, the light filled her eyes blinding you. When the effect passed, you stopped thinking for an instant, this whole place was magnificent and magical, but the girl was gone. 

In its place, the vast tulip field filled your view, in the middle of it and far away on the hill, lay a beautiful oak tree the size of the most pompous castle presumably held by royalty. 

Mesmerized by this magnificence, you walked down the hill, it was a few more meters but something guided you to the oak tree. The closer you got, you heard a deep and melancholic voice singing.

Its beautiful whistling caught your attention, the closer you got the better you saw someone's back and— That little girl sitting next to her. 

Never thought that you would be Standing here so close to me There's so much I feel that I should say But words can wait until some other day

Both were relaxing on a chair made of wood and flowers as a handle, the stranger kept singing; for some reason his voice gave you a familiar but pleasant peace, you didn't know why or how, but you keep watching them swinging. 

It's been a long, long time Haven't felt like this, my dear Since can't remember when It's been a long, long time You'll never know how many dreams I've dreamed about you Or just how empty they all seem without you

The wind was blowing away the colorful petals of the field full of those tulips, you standing still in the tall grass, mesmerized by the whistling of that stranger, still looking at the girl, they seemed so comfortable with each other.

It's been a long, long time It's been a long, oh long time

And then that song stopped, breaking like a spell as well as your illusion, for just as the figure turned, his face could not be seen for he silenced you, causing thousands of tulips to cover your vision. 

"WAIT PLEASE! Who are you—" 

With an abrupt silence, you were left in the emptiness of before, broken glass halves scattered on the floor surrounded your feet, the girl was gone, only you and that hall of mirrors remained. 

Sighing, you pick up several pieces and your fragmented reflection looks back at you.

Your thoughts stop when you feel someone pull you out of that place and your eyes open as you feel the pain of a slap. Your eyes immediately went to those responsible for that: The maids in the service of the empress, who don't even look sorry for having done such a thing.

"Hey, you know you shouldn't sleep like that in public, you should be ashamed of yourself? What if the nobles gossip about you? hahahahaha." 

You clutched your reddish cheeks due to the hard slap, you growl silently wanting to do something but you just bit your lip in anger and swallowed it with 'dignity', which was the only thing you really had left; nothing belongs to you nor did anyone in this palace seem to take your position seriously.

You are just an ornament for the empress and a sack of potatoes for others to vent their frustrations. You had nowhere to go, if you left they would surely kill you, because the dirty blood should not live. 

"Please, couldn't you be less rude, Tsk! If you were seen slapping me, wouldn't you go unpunished? I'm still the emperor's daughter. It's frowned upon for a commoner to hit a noble, let alone royalty like me" You sneered with measured sarcasm, if they wanted to pull shit against you, you'd mess with them, it's all or nothing.

Your joke made them turn pale, the other maid behind gasped and took a step back. The one who slapped you swallowed as she quickly pulled herself together. They did not want the wrath of the empress if such rumors began to circulate, their necks, and perhaps yours, would roll. 

"You should be grateful princess because I have not yet reported your attitude to our noble empress, be good and we can forget about this incident" They said with a smile on their faces, the other nodded his head as the speaker held his face confidently, as if he had all the power in the situation, but his eyes reflected the fear and falsity of his words.

If they did that, they would pay more than you, a simple spanking would not be mere punishment for commoners like them, on the contrary for you, who you would be 'disciplined' for your indecency as a noble, 

However, you were interrupted by the empress's housekeeper (that damned boot-licking spy) She advanced towards you and all the maidens present bowed in fear, the two in front of you also trembled. 

"Now ladies don't make a fuss in the middle of the balconies and princess let's avoid making a fuss, please if you are not going to do anything at the party then go back to your room. As for you as maids, you have permission from the empress to discipline her, but don't overdo it..." She looked at you with cold condescension, as if she were superior. Biting your lips, you force a smile crumpling your dress in anger but swallow it all, smiling politely and standing up, wiping your dress and bowing.

 "Thank you, I will follow that sage advice, as you always know what to do, with your permission." Annoyed and frustrated once again, you left in anger and your footsteps echo loudly through the empty corridors of this place, listening to the maids laughing at you, as always.

Those damn maidservants, they always had something to say, didn't they? Laughing and talking behind your back every chance they got. Then there were those damn nobles, they were all the same, looking down on you. They always had something to comment on, whether it was your looks, your status or how you behaved. In the end you were just a trophy to them. A princess just to show off, nothing more.

Your thoughts were diverted by the sounds of the party, soon the second waltz would begin. But even if you were to go there, you would not be welcome, which is silly and ironic because this party is for you but no one actually congratulates you, the bitch empress steals every birthday you had, only to receive praise for her benevolence towards you... A bastard with dirty half elven blood.

 "Phew, at least this day is winding down." 

You sighed again as you vaguely thought about your dream, but you were more curious about that stranger, you didn't understand why he sent you back to reality, nor did you know why that girl led you there. In the end you walked down the hallway ignoring the lights and the drunks, it was like that every year, just nobles inflating their egos and gossiping behind each other's backs.

Hallways full of drunks were nothing new to you. Every year the parties ended the same as the others, with drunks and gossiping nobles. You couldn't wait for it to end, you always found it exhausting and annoying. Yet here you were, standing in the middle of the hallway with all these drunken fools around you... Surely there were some fucking and eating with lust around. 

"Hello princess!" 

A voice called out behind you, one you sadly recognized from all the years you had lived in the palace living with the nobles.

The stupid, disgusting son of Marquis Duboff, that dog rather than a man, always insisted on touching you and then complained when you refused. Snarling at fate, you tried to run away from him but he grabbed your hand and cornered you on the wall almost going out to the stairs. "Come on princess! Don't be like that, the other time I saw you flirting with other men, maybe the little slut can't help strutting around and wanting to fuck cock? You can't fool me, I know you like it—!" 

Drunk breath filled your nose, you wanted to vomit. His smell and everything about him disgusted you, so when he held your wrists, you kicked him in his private parts, you were irritated beyond belief.

"Tsk! When are you going to understand that I HATE YOU? You're a garbage existence, so.... If you'll excuse me, m-a-r-q-u-i-s!" With those words, you fixed your dress, you could be cheeky and follow orders for your own survival... However, you weren't going to play along with his games, that human excuse was a stubborn and pathetic being because you didn't want to call him a man when the vacancy was too big for him. 

This one knocked you down putting his hands in your hair, you in defense tried to shake him off but in the end between pulls, he knocked you down hitting you in the face and calling you an ungrateful bitch.

The blow threw you to the ground and to the side, sending you stumbling into a wall, you almost died if you fell badly down the stairs. You clutched your cheek as a groan of pain escaped you and, of course, the pathetic bastard was still standing there mockingly.

"You're not going anywhere princess, even though you act like an ungrateful bitch...I'm sure you'll soon come to your senses when you see that I can be gentle..." 

He sneered at you as he looked down at you from his elevated position holding an entire bottle of wine. His smile grew as he took a step closer to you, striding over and drinking. 

Then he started fighting you when you pushed him back wanting to leave, and he had the audacity to call you a spoiled brat, when IN YOUR LIFE! You've had some of that, anything you wanted was squashed and used as an excuse to make you less or crush your spirit. 

"STUPID BITCH!", you hear him yell as you poked his eye with your fingernails, in an attempt to stop him from taking your clothes off. He finally smashes the bottle on your head, making you blurry and blood dripping from your wound. 

You couldn't stand it any longer and you ran away crying, not out of sadness or helplessness (maybe it was that, but you would never say it out loud) but mostly it was rage, pure and undiluted. You felt pathetic, a fragile doll that broke for someone else's enjoyment.

"Fuck all of you... Ick! You guys are assholes" You clench your fists drawing blood from your wound with a torn piece of cloth from your now torn dress and head to your room, well, those fancy furnishings and decor really couldn't be called a room, it wasn't yours to begin with, just a guest room modified to mimic that of a room for royalty. 

Still, you decided it was better to go to your old, dirty and abandoned 'room', which was just the basement where they kept junk and rusty weapons. As you enter, you close the door, dropping into a crouch and hugging your legs, enclosing your face in your dress breaking that elegant facade into sadness and anger. 

You were exhausted and tired, very tired of everything, of everyone. Running away from the damn marquis, from the empress, from the nobles. You just wanted to be free, to be happy and find a place to just... be, instead of being a princess forced to live in a damn box and be judged or belittled for every little action.

Sighing as you sat there in that dusty old room, tears streaming down your face as you hid in your dress, you continued to wander in your thoughts. You felt alone, cut off from anything good or happy in this damned place, if there was any happiness in the falsehood of nobility to begin with. 

Your snot was running from your nose, your makeup was smeared and you didn't care at the time, you just wanted it all to be over. Sometimes you were angry at your dead mother, you blamed her for your useless elven blood running through your veins. You would even cut yourself to try to get it out and stop being a dirty blood, but all you get were injuries with punishments from the empress, you honestly don't know when was the last time you smiled or if you ever did, 

You wanted to keep hating her, she's a mother who never saw you grow up, but you didn't want to be like them, just another human, someone who pretends and discriminates against others just because. It would be hypocritical of you to do so, but sometimes you just want to scream and hate them freely, but it's stupid to do that and you just put your anger aside.

"It's useless, everything is the same every year, what did I expect this time? Mother, is my existence wrong? They just use me and throw me away when I'm not useful. I'm getting tired, how much longer can I go on with this performance?" You cried rubbing your eyes and wiping your smeared makeup with your dress, it was ruined anyway. 

Your eyes wandered around the room, looking at old dusty furniture and consumed by time, now they are blurred memories. If you think about it, in the past for some reason, you used to write letters to someone, hoping they would take you away from this place, but those hopes are ephemeral like happiness. 

You continued to sit there and cry, your feelings of hopelessness and anger pouring out. The makeup on your face was ruined, but you didn't care, it would be just another reason for the empress to call you a savage, mocking you. 

The zero memories of your childhood or the existence of your mother, your life here, everything came over you. It was very hard to face it all, very hard to hold out hope for any kind of happiness for yourself. After all, you were nothing more than a princess in a cage.

For a moment, the sensation you felt in that dream made you think of the stranger, and the memory came to mind, the magical and serene sight. It is contrary to how you felt now.

The moonlight illuminated the old dusty room, your eyes for some reason went to the old table, many broken drawings on it, for a moment you saw yourself as a child writing right there, however something blinded you like a light in your eyes. Curious you get up going to the table, the last time you were here living and sleeping you were exactly 11 years old, so you had left everything the same as when you left. 

"What the hell—?" Your gaze went to the pieces of paper, then moving them you coughed through the dust that was released after years in neglect and, shaking it with your hand— A strange piece black as darkness received you, the one that has accompanied you in your life since you are conscious until you forgot it, and if not for today you would still be in oblivion of its existence. 

Then, when you took it, an energetic discharge came from the tip to your head, giving you headaches and like a vague memory, you were pulled towards that vision, but it was blurred, what you knew was that you were in a forest. Your hands were small but you did not control this memory and this childish body.

Your ears perked up as you heard your own voice laughing, but it sounded more animated. Sometimes you think the current you is so different from your childhood self, less bitter and miserable. 

"M■□ll■s-sama, it's unfair that you always let the human win!" 

Another voice interrupted your diatribe and in turn you recognized that it was male, of course with a youthful and scandalous touch. A familiar laughter made you open your eyes in this dream(?), then that stranger whose name you did not fully understand, answered the other man, strangely you did not see who they were, because in this memory you were still hiding behind a tree.

"S□b■k, don't be hard on her, besides I don't want to make her feel bad, my ■□■■■□ is important" Your giggles kept coming out as your eyes made you expectant in this strange dream, just sharing vision with this uncontrolled childish body. The strangers behind the tree, shrouded in mystery, continue to argue. 

'What are they talking about?'

You thought to yourself, not your dream self, just your current self. Strangers are still looking for you, you looked like you were 5 years old by the size and high pitched giggles you let out. And that was before you came to the palace, what was not clear to you about this situation and your past self which you didn't remember much, so you are not understanding anything.

The two voices kept talking as the you in this memory peeked out for seconds, unable to really see their faces due to the speed at which you were hiding. You were looking from your childhood perspective, hiding in a tree and laughing to yourself, it all seemed less difficult if you thought about it. The other two males seemed to be looking for you, still arguing as they looked around the area.

Your childhood self seemed cheerful, again you wondered if she was really you or if she was just a past fragment. You looked happy, as if you were having fun playing some kind of game with these strange men. What were they talking about, and why did it seem so familiar, you didn't know, but it hurt your chest to hear yourself laugh. 

Since you came to the palace the childish games were over; so seeing this broke you in a certain way. Then you felt big hands taking the shoulders of your childish self, you laughed and named the stranger, but again the seemingly important words or names were cut off and erased, fragments remained of that stage of yours, which you did not know. 

"T■un□■ta□■u! hehehe you found me.... You were 3 seconds faster, though it's unfair because S■b□k always complains" Your words and voice were lively, sweeter and in comparison to the bitter words for this life you were leading. The stranger whose face was covered by the sunlight because you were in his arms, his shadowed face looked at you, his fanged lips smiled at you. 

His fangs glistened as a smile broke out on his face, laughing at your childish words. His voice was soft and warm, but no less gravelly and elegant, almost like the glow of the incandescent sun on you in the dream.

"You were well hidden, I could hardly find you. But I know your usual hiding places, little ch□■dr□n ■□ m■n." He said with lightness in his voice. One of his big hands moved to stroke your head, tousling your hair as he said this. Even though it was hidden behind the blinding light of the sun, you could still make out its outline....

It had a rather strange silhouette, horns coming out of its head and long wings behind it, something you only saw in forbidden books.... A dragon, but it didn't make sense that it was humanoid. 

In fact this whole situation confused you, unfortunately you came back to reality when the darkness swallowed you and you fell to the ground with a sharp blow, the dragon's scale no longer shining as brightly as before. You got up carefully, you were a mess in every sense of the word if you looked at yourself in a mirror. 

Picking that thing up carefully, you wonder if this is what made you see that. Are those your memories from when you weren't here? But it didn't make sense, the empress said she found you with two elderly brothers who were farmers, so why - why were you having these weird flashbacks? 

You sat on the old bed, holding the dragon scale in your hand and looking at it. Your head was throbbing and your thoughts were a mess. That vision... it was so vivid, like a memory... But how could it be a memory? You come from those farming families, the empress herself had said so... Though knowing her character, she could lie to you as she did about your mother's death. 

Those two men in the vision, you couldn't make out any details about them. But why did you feel so close to him in that dream? Besides you had already seen him when you fell asleep on the balcony, is everything connected...?

"Phew, I better go or I might get punished... But I can't leave this here, if they come to clean up, which is rare, they might see it, maybe I should take everything left of this old place" You put the dragon scale in your secret pocket inside your breasts, just when you were about to leave, you also saw the letters hidden under so much trash and dust. Some were torn and some were stained with ink. 

Your look is nostalgic, really when you were a simple and silly girl you didn't know how to hide things. So you took them, on your way out you took caution in looking both ways down the dark subway corridor and when you saw the shores clear, you left.

You exited the subway, making sure that no one was there, before leaving. As you did so, you returned to your room as quietly as possible. You hoped that the party was over and everyone was too drunk to notice your absence... 

As you walked through the halls, your mind kept thinking about that memory, if it was one. You had so many questions about it, about your past self and who you really were before you turned 6. It was so clear, so real... But who were they? What if... Was it all a strange fantasy of yours? Now you have a faint fragment of hope in you, even if it's vain and selfish. 

Your thoughts are interrupted by the empress waiting for you in your room, you panicked hiding the old letters and anything suspicious, she looked at you with false elegance and the lunar shadow did not help your fear to diminish.

"W-what are you doing here? I thought you were with the emperor"

You whisper avoiding looking at her, she stood up, unaware that there was your faithful maid. A maid who barely entered months ago and quickly befriended you with insistence; but that doomed her like many. Now she's dead on the floor, again you lost another ally, though you tried to prevent anyone from coming to you, trying to be nice when you couldn't afford that, it's a weakness the empress would exploit. 

Said woman continued to look at you with a cold stare, the false elegance on her face unchanged.

"Watch your tone of voice, princess." He said in a cold voice. His cold green eyes scanned you, observing your ragged and disheveled appearance with an almost mocking look on his face.

"I heard about what happened between you and the marquis earlier, my dear." You swallowed bile cursing everyone and her for that false sweetness in her voice. She took a step towards you and her tone quickly changed to a higher pitched one.

"You know how much I despise it when you embarrass me like that."

Her hands went to your bare, messy shoulders, your hair was ragged and that only added to her condescending tone, mocking your messy appearance. You bit your lips, she knew everything, she always does. You're more sure that damn dog Duboff made a fuss complaining about you, you just expected the worst in situations like that.

 "W-what's wrong with it, Your Highness? I only defended myself, or are you afraid of rumors? For example... That you don't take good care of me, and even if I AM THE EMPEROR'S DAUGHTER! You still treat me badly-" Her nails finished digging into your skin as a warning but you were so fed up that you continued.

"And yes I did, I don't give a damn anymore anyway, that dog deserved it! He's a scumbag, he wanted to abuse me, hahaha you don't even care about my image, only yours and your ego-Urgh!" A slap echoed in the empty room. The empress snarled with a contorted face, you laughed internally as you watched her lose her composure, she was a fucking bitch to you. 

It was quite satisfying to see the empress lose her composure in this way. Her face contracted in anger, a complete contrast to her normally reserved and cold demeanor. She had just slapped you, leaving a red mark on your cheek.... but you couldn't help but laugh at this. Seeing her lose control like this was almost funny.

The empress snarled at your laughter, the anger and irritation clear on her face. She moved closer to you, grabbing your hair and tugging on it. 

"How dare you talk to me like that... You're a dirty bastard blood!"

The empress's face was now contorted with anger, frustration and humiliation. After all, how dare you speak to her like that, especially at a party meant to celebrate her benevolence? You should thank her for even existing, but here you were like a brazen rat. 

"You ungrateful, insolent bitch!" She spat, tugging at your scalp and grabbing your cheeks hard so you could look her in the eye. 

"How dare you speak to me like that, I who have given you everything! Your position as princess, your meals, your clothes, let it be clear to you that you are inferior to me, without my help the emperor wouldn't care about you!"  

"... I didn't want to be this! Do you know how many nights I starved to death just because you and those maids wanted me to? You don't know anything, my life is not really mine but I'm running out of patience, even when I wanted to run away, you didn't let me... I begged you, but no more!"

"You're a-" Her hand reached up to hit you again but when you tried to pull away she only abused you more until it hurt all over, then complained about your rebelliousness and savagery.

He continued to prattle on about your insolence, debating whether he should kill you or not, but decided to leave, only punishing you by locking you in the room and ordering that no one was to come in or go out to feed you for a week. 

You got up when she left, she might as well kill herself and you wouldn't care. After a while, you changed your clothes after a relaxing and decent bath, no insults or dirty water. You were self-sufficient enough, since you were treated like a maid when you first arrived, you did everything. 

At the end of the night you lay staring at the letters on your bed, those letters written by you that for some reason you don't quite remember why you did it. "Ahh... what a day this was." 

You were left in your room, alone once again. The empress had left you with a burning cheek and a week of hungry solitary confinement. But it didn't matter, you were used to it.

With slow steps to the bed, you plopped down on the bed and then settled in, your eyes drifting to the old letters scattered on the bedspread. They were written in childish scribbles, but somehow they had some meaning. Why did you write this? And to whom? You had long forgotten the reasons behind it... You had priorities, like not dying for that woman's whims. 

With nothing to do, you decided to read them, starting with the one with the oldest date and paper. The letter began somewhat disorganized, it read like this:

March 23, first date of the solar calendar.  'It happened again today, I miss you Tsunotarou so much..... Mairy yelled at me again, you know, I know I'll never give you these letters but I hope someday to see you so I can read them for you, although I think it's more for convenience.  Nobody wants me here, I shouldn't have run away from home, Uncle Lilia was right. Humans are not the same, much less easy to understand. They are like me, physically they are but they don't act like I thought they would. Everyone says I'm a dirty blood worse than a commoner, Sebek was right when he said we are bad, but I'm not like that.  

Your expression softened but mostly out of confusion and the feeling that comes from reading this. So that's what the nickname you were talking about in the dream was... That silhouette was Tsunotarou? You didn't know but your head hurt thinking about it and even for some reason you got stuck trying to say that nickname, but still you continued reading.

 April 16 of the solar calendar  'I'm very sad, I hardly remember Uncle Lilia anymore, I'm very afraid. Tsunotarou... what if I forget you too? I don't want that, so I'll keep writing letters, so maybe my adult self will read them, I hope everything gets better, because today they made me mop the floor and the housekeeper punished me for something I didn't do. The older maids threw water and cow dung on my floor, when I had already cleaned it, I really want to come back to you Tsunotarou'.

Your expression became somewhat inexplicable, you felt the tears fall again for no apparent reason, you did not understand this feeling. Perhaps compassion for your previous innocent self, who was hurt and crushing your spirit to become what you are today.

The cards only continued to get worse. Your past self was young and innocent, so full of optimism and hope, but instead was only met with suffering. She was treated like dirt, forced to do tasks she wasn't cut out for, and others around her bullied her...and no one did anything to stop it. Your heart ached as you read the letter from your past self, and tears streamed down your face as you read it.

You clenched the letter tightly in your hand, your heart felt heavy in your chest... You didn't know if you wanted to keep reading because you were honestly so devastated by the constant abuse you've normalized, but reading all this just makes you feel sorry for yourself. 

Still, you catch a glimpse of one letter in particular lying on the corner of your bed, it's crumpled and musty as if it had been wet. Trembling you pick it up reading it and it just opens up another memory you had blocked out for yourself.

XX December of ... ??? 'Tsunotarou... I no longer remember why or why I am writing this, who are you, that I am writing this to you? I don't know, maybe it was all a dream and you, Tsunotarou whoever you are, don't exist. Last week I was caught trying to escape, but I don't remember the reason for it. Honestly it's all confusing so I'll stop writing these meaningless letters. I just know I've been hiding them, so I have to respect that about myself.... Well, this is goodbye. 

Now you remember! This is the last letter you wrote, you only know you finished it because of the first line, that nickname, you wrote it weeks before and you don't remember much. Suddenly your head starts to hurt and you get a lot of cut memories that make you cry in pain.

As you read that last letter, you were hit with a flood of memories. They came back vividly, but it was still a little fuzzy in your mind. 

You remembered why you wrote the letters. You were writing to him, that man you played with in the woods in your dream. You remembered him... and you remembered his nickname. Tsunotarou. Even the mere thought of it made your head throb. But as the memories slowly came back, you couldn't help but sob at the truth of all the events and the realization of it. 

What little you know of this is due to the only clues you had. With determination, you were determined to seek the truth behind your whole life and your lost happy childhood, so these days where the empress locked you up, you would flee through the secret corridors you had discovered in this room since you lived in it. 

Wandering the aisles of the library in the middle of the night, you were looking for books on magic or creatures of that kind, which were burned years ago by the wars, it was hard to find them. 

Despite feeling so tired, your heart was beating with determination. You knew you had to find the answers behind everything. It was time for you to find out the truth about your past and the real reason why you were here. You had so many questions running around in your mind....

But it was already late and you could already feel the tiredness invading your body after searching the library, so you walked with your books in hand through the corridors until you reached your room. With a tired sigh, you lay down on your bed, thoughts still running through your head as you slowly drifted off into an intermittent sleep...

And so for the rest of the week, you went to the basement to see if there was anything else but there was not. Then you rummaged through the housekeeper's room finding the strange bag that you now had in your room, in front of you. 

There was a strange old stuffed animal, some exotic flowers you didn't know about, a map crumpled and yellowed from years but most surprising were the many dragon scales in a jar. 

This was definitely yours, but why would you have this here? It didn't make sense and besides there were 2 books downstairs, one had drawings of 4 men, three of them with pointed ears and one was like the silhouette in your dream, with horns. 

The other was a human like you but wore a uniform; also, the second book had strange spells in it. The spell book was like the few pieces of page you found in the library on the hidden side. Thoroughly checking between pages, you saw a piece of paper with something written on it, there was also a drawing made by you most likely, underneath the apparent lullaby. 

Something about the drawing of the horned man seemed strangely familiar to you, though you didn't know why. Maybe there was a connection between him and that man in your dream... Curious, you read the writing on the paper, although due to the bad handwriting and scribbles on it, it was difficult to read.

You let go of the paper from your hands because your head started to hurt, a male voice echoed in your erased memories. It was a quiet place, a comfortable bed and finally you saw black tinted lips and fangs, he sang you that song but again, his face was blurred. 

You gripped the paper once again tighter, your head throbbing from the strange memory that came over you. The memory was fuzzy, but it was still clear enough that you could make out the vague silhouette of a man, fangs and lips tinged with black. He was singing that song to you, his voice soft and comforting.

Te agarraste la cabeza, tratando de recordar más, pero el dolor de cabeza sólo pareció empeorar. ¿Por qué tus recuerdos volvieron repentinamente a ti una vez más, y fue realmente Tsunotaoru, el hombre que te parecía tan familiar...? No lo sabías así que simplemente te volviste a dormir, cayendo profundamente

The breeze on your face welcomes you back, dazed you open your eyes seeing that you were now on a marble table near the oak tree. Confused you wake up and this time you see that you are not a teenager, more like a girl, this confuses you a lot.

Walking aimlessly, you hear in the distance in the same oak tree or further on, in the tulip field, someone singing, that same song you read in that paper.

I know you I walked with you once in a dream I know you That look in your eyes is such a familiar gleam. And I know it's true, that visions are rarely what they seem.

The tune was different, but undoubtedly it is the same voice and the same place as when that little girl in the dream led you there, the same person singing that lullaby. 

But I know you I know what you will do You will love me once and for all As you once did in a dream

You kept moving forward, the smell of flowers filled your nose and as if taking the place of the girl who you assume is your inner self, you continue moving towards the figure on the hill, standing among so many flowers looking at the sun.  

But I know you I know what you do You love me at the same time As you once did in a dream I know you I walked with you once in a dream 

The wind was soft and cool against your skin as you walked through the tulip field. The sweet smell of flowers filled the air and the sun hung high in the sky, casting a warm glow over the surroundings. As you continued walking, you heard that familiar song echoing in the air.

 "Who are you really?" you whisper in that childish little voice, this time you control this body and even if you expected an answer, there is only silence.

The closer you got, the more your heart pounded in your chest. And then, you finally saw it: a tall horned figure standing a few feet away from you.

Something in his majestic, magical and calming presence made you cry. At this moment you became a little girl taking the place of your inner self, now you just wanted to hug that man and run in his arms, like a game.

"Tsunotarou... that's what your name is?" those simple words made the horned figure look at you, with a slow step he walked up to you bending down to look at you.

The stranger smiled at you as he bent down to your level. He gently wiped away your tears with his thumb, his gaze warm and affectionate.

"Yes, it's me" he whispered in response. 

"I have missed you so much." This time your inner self spoke for you, since you wouldn't be able to understand its identity or the feelings it provokes in you, but you don't want to push it away either.

The man dressed in black hugged you tightly, squeezing you close to his chest. It was a protective embrace and you could feel the love and affection in his touch.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted to see you again, the clues I left you in your dreams, do you still have doubts my little girl?"

You nodded as you let yourself be carried by him, all your stress or bitter attitudes gone. There is only you and that lost innocence. 

"Sorry if I don't understand anything, it's just that I forgot you and that frustrates me" This time you spoke from your heart, with the truth. Without lying to anyone much less yourself and he seemed to understand. 

"Everything will have an answer, but I've missed you too, I can't be near you because I wouldn't know how to control myself, I may lose control if I see you more than I should" His whispers sounded melancholy and plaintive, but deep down his tone threatened to overflow into madness and rage. 

"Then why didn't you come for me? I don't remember but I feel like I sink into a sadness thinking about you" This time he kept silent, his face you couldn't see but you felt the tension in his body. 

"...There were reasons beyond my power that prevented me from that, besides if I went after you I could have accidentally killed you in my rage looking for you."

Despite his words you felt disappointed with him, you still decided not to hate him, you didn't want to be a bad person, no matter how bitter you were. 

"I understand... But could you answer me something, why don't I remember you well? I know you had something to do with me however, I don't remember, much less know who I was before what I am now."

The strange man again took your face in his hands and you saw why you couldn't see him, there was a mist blurring his face. 

"I don't think it's time yet, but I assure you that in a few weeks you will know... Until then, I will see you and answer your questions, my little daughter of man. Because we saw each other in a dream-" 

You wanted to keep asking but he kissed your forehead and you fell into a dream within your dreamlike sleep, finally waking up hyperventilating. 

"... Fuck I couldn't ask him his real name."

[demigod-shenanigans]

The choiceless hope in grief

Summary: Leo Valdez has lived and died for the gods. Their war has shaped his life since he was a baby. With Gaia defeated, he sort of hopes he can finally rest. He has friends and some semblance of home to return to for the first time since he was eight years old. Just this once, he allows himself to hope the good things might stick.

But the gods aren’t done with them just yet, by the time Leo finds his way back, Jason is gone.

This time, Leo decides he’s done just taking the Fates’ bullshit lying down. If getting his best friend back means striking a deal with the gods and venturing into the Underworld… well, it’s probably not even the most reckless thing he’s ever done.

The caveat of said deal? He has to trust Jason will follow him, or his self-doubt will doom them both.

And after the life he’s lived, Leo is so intricately familiar with self-doubt that he could probably trademark the word.

Or: The only possible way for Orpheus to succeed is if he learns to think of himself as a person worth loving.

Word Count for chapter 1: ~5k

Rating: Teen and Up

So! *claps hands together* I’ve been threatening you guys with my Orpheus Eurydice valgrace fic for a while! Technically I wanted to wait to post this until I’m completely done writing the fic, and I mostly intend to stick to that! I’m only posting this now because I have a minor surgery tomorrow and I’d rather be anxious about fic related things than about the surgery in question. So, take this chapter as a preview of sorts, more to come soon-ish but probably not immediately!

A couple of important notes before we start:

-TW for suicidal ideation. It’s less Leo actually wanting to die and more his canon behavior of “I’m doing something extremely reckless that might succeed but if it doesn’t, my death is an acceptable consequence”, paired with general grief related self-loathing, but if you think you’re not in the right headspace to read about that, come back when you are or at least tread carefully. This fic pics up at the end of The Burning Maze, so especially the beginning is pretty heavy on the grief stuff.

-Since ToA is vaguely canon to this fic, Leo and Calypso are technically dating in the beginning, but they don’t really interact positively as a couple (honestly they don’t interact that much in general) and break up pretty early on. Just be aware in advance that they’re still together for a little bit.

-Fic title is from Talk by Hozier which is maybe a painfully obvious pick but it was too perfect for me not to use it.

Chapter 1: Leo and Piper have an extended sleepover

It wasn’t a discussion between Leo and Piper whether or not to go to Jason’s funeral. They came to the decision that they wouldn’t silently—or as silently as one could come to an agreement when all parties involved were sobbing.

Maybe it should have been a discussion. There was a part of Leo that worried he’d regret this later—his refusal to take this chance to say goodbye and let himself grieve.

But Leo remembered his mother’s funeral. Remembered the way his aunt Rosa had looked at him like she knew his mother’s death had been his fault. Leo couldn’t stand the thought of people looking at him like that again.

He also didn’t remember his mother’s funeral bringing him any sense of closure or comfort. He’d stood at her grave, afterwards, just as desperate and afraid and utterly inconsolable as he’d been before the funeral, except it had suddenly felt sickeningly final. The wound it had torn in his soul had kept bleeding for years, and the scars would stay forever. He didn’t need any of Apollo’s shitty oracles to know Jason’s death would be exactly the same.

At this point, Leo was pretty sure his sanity was being held together by a combination of jokes and a truly questionable amount of duct tape.

Beyond all that, though, Camp Jupiter was a battlefield right now. It would continue to be a battlefield for the foreseeable future.

Leo wasn’t a coward. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go back and help. But one of his best friends was already in a box, and there was no way in hell he’d risk the other.

With how tightly Piper was clinging to him, maybe she was thinking the same thing. 

For all his big talk about dragon escorts, Festus did most of the actual escorting on his own, occasionally torching what Leo hoped were monsters and not random public monuments. Leo, for his part, spent most of the journey crammed into the backseat of the car next to Piper, sandwiched between her and a bunch of moving boxes that seemed determined to flatten him into a Leo-shaped pancake whenever they took a sharp turn.

He’d spent so long thinking about seeing her and Jason again. 

He’d talked Calypso’s ear off about them the whole journey, to the point where it had clearly started to annoy her. He’d thought about various ridiculous entrances he could make, and the fact that he’d probably get yelled at, but he’d also thought about sitting together by the campfire, sharing nachos. He’d thought about Jason hugging him so fiercely that he couldn’t breathe, and Piper cussing him out while she held him, making him promise never to do anything that reckless again.

Now Piper was actually holding him, and Leo couldn’t feel anything. There was a numbness in his chest. He wasn’t sure he had it in him to ever feel happiness again. Hell, even if he did, what was the fucking point? Every time anything even remotely good happened in his life, it got ripped away from him again.

They didn’t talk a whole lot for most of the drive. They cried until it felt like they couldn’t anymore, clinging to each other like desperate children.

Even if they’d wanted to talk about what had happened, Piper’s dad was right there, and despite the Mist usually working overtime for them, having him overhear seemed like a gamble. Or, well, maybe that was what Leo told himself. Maybe he just wasn't sure he was ready to hear it all. He still felt like he couldn’t think. He was overwhelmed to hell and couldn’t stop fidgeting.

Several hours into the trip, his stomach started grumbling. Piper dug through the bag at her feet and offered him one of her PB&J sandwiches, but Leo couldn’t eat. He hadn’t skipped a meal in forever—he’d been homeless and unsure when he’d even get access to the next meal enough times that it had been all but tattooed into his skull that he couldn’t afford to—but he couldn’t even think about eating without feeling sick. He thought about Jason. He thought about the state he’d left Camp Jupiter in and the fact that they hadn’t even been able to give the dead their proper funeral rites.

Had Leo’s help made any difference at all? Had anything he’d done in his life changed things even slightly?

Leo knew the Fates had intended for it to be fire that fell—for him to burn in a bright, hot blaze and turn himself to charcoal. But he’d refused to stay dead like a good little pawn, and now Jason was gone, and it was all his fault.

He wasn’t sure how Piper could even look at him right now, but he was beyond grateful that she was holding onto him as tightly as she did. It was the only reason he didn’t fall to pieces completely. The cog at the heart of Leo’s machine had broken in a way that made it utterly beyond repair, and now it felt like a matter of time before the whole thing came apart. Piper holding him was the only reason his remaining pieces were still functioning. 

It should have been impossible for Leo to fall asleep under these circumstances, but he’d been traveling for hours and fighting before then and he’d cried out his remaining energy, so eventually, the world started to fade around him, reduced to just the sound of Piper’s breaths, until finally, those went, too.

~~~~

It would have been kinder, maybe, if Leo had dreamed up some shitty visions promising violent death and/or the end of the world. That would have been business as usual. 

Instead, he dreamed of his time on the Argo II—of one of those early nights when the different groups were still getting to know each other, having a brief moment to breathe between their ridiculous tasks and saving the world. 

It had seemed reasonable to catch each other up on what had happened on their end. Percy, Hazel and Frank had talked about rescuing Thanatos, and Piper, Jason and Leo had told them what had happened with Hera in turn. 

This would have been a boring intel conversation at best, seeing as Leo had been there for all of their part, but they’d grabbed snacks and sat on cushions on the floor and made it a whole bonding activity. Jason had been wedged between Piper and Leo, and they’d taken turns storytelling. 

And Jason had bragged. So much. But he hadn’t even had the decency to brag about himself like a normal human being. Instead, he’d talked about how capable Piper and Leo had been, somehow managing to make Leo sound like the coolest person he’d ever met. Which was ridiculous, considering he’d met everyone else on their team.

And sure, Leo made it sound like he thought he was amazing all the time, but he was exaggerating, which everyone, himself included, knew. 

Jason didn’t seem to have gotten the memo, though. He had one arm wrapped around Leo the whole evening, and he got all starry-eyed when he talked. 

“Leo took on three Cyclopes by himself. Three!”

“Dude, stop!” Leo had laughed, shaking his head. “I know I’m incredible and you’re blessed to be friends with me and stuff, but you weren’t even conscious for that part.”

“Still happened, though.” Jason had beamed at him. “You’re amazing, dude. I would have died about fifteen times on that mission if it hadn’t been for you. You guys should’ve seen him.”

It would have been easier if Leo had thought Jason was just trying to talk him up to the others to make them more willing to trust him after how badly he’d messed up in New Rome, but Jason wasn’t the type. He’d looked like he honestly believed every single word he was saying.

So, of course, Leo had refused to seriously deal with any of the things that made him feel.

“Sorry, Pipes, but I’m pretty sure your boyfriend is in love with me. It’s the fire powers, I’m afraid. I’m just too hot to resist,” Leo had joked instead, and Piper had untangled herself from Jason’s other side to throw Doritos at Leo, and everything had been right in the universe.

~~~~

Waking up from that, blearily blinking himself awake in the car full of moving boxes and remembering… that was a worse punch in the gut than waking up from most nightmares had been. And Leo should know. He’d had so many of those over the years that he was basically a certified nightmare expert at this point.

Leo wanted to go back in time and spend forever in that one evening, living it over and over and over again until the Fates or a temporal paradox or something eventually killed him. He wanted to hold on to what they’d been back then—the three of them together and happy and whole,back before they’d realized what the prophecy really meant. 

He wanted to stay wrapped in Jason’s arm and hear him laugh at whatever stupid joke Leo came up with while he and Piper threw snacks at each other like ten year olds. He wanted to believe he could actually be the person Jason was bragging about—this invincible hero that could do just about anything and saved people’s lives.

But Leo had never been that hero. Even his sacrifice had been the selfish decision of a coward who wasn’t ready to die just yet. Jason had been their Superman. The guy who could fly and threw lightning and saved people from falling to their deaths. Jason had been the hero. And ultimately, that had been what killed him.

Leo wasn’t exactly sure what he planned to do once they got to Oklahoma. He should have been heading back to the Waystation, to give Calypso the normal life he’d promised. But he wasn’t thinking about Calypso, or the Waystation, and the thought of a normal life had gone out of the window the second he’d seen the coffin. Besides, the Waystation would mean people asking questions, wanting to know about his mission and asking him to talk about his feelings, and he didn’t want that.

The only thing Leo really wanted to do right now was not think. 

By the time they got to the house, it was so late that cross-country dragon flight seemed inadvisable for visibility reasons alone, so Leo agreed to stay the night. Festus nuzzled him for a bit, got a fuel snack from the canister Leo had brought and then folded down into his million pound suitcase form for the night.

It took a little under two hours to carry all the boxes inside, which was an annoying amount of time to be carrying boxes but seemed like an absurdly short amount to move the contents of an entire life.

They spent some time in search of the necessities that needed to be unpacked, but the house was still furnished and also had running water and electricity as of a few days ago, so it wasn’t that bad.

While Piper went in search of some ancient camping gear so Leo wouldn’t have to sleep on the floor—this seemed silly to him, the floor was far from the worst place he’d ever slept—Leo asked Piper’s dad if he could help with dinner. 

Tristan looked relieved at his offer, actually. He’d been staring at the assorted vegetables with a slightly lost expression, trying to hack at one of the zucchinis with a butter knife. It seemed like he was trying to remember how cooking worked and had just discovered he had absolutely no idea. 

Considering how long he’d been an insanely rich guy with a personal cook, Leo guessed that actually might have been a pretty accurate read on the situation. 

“You might want to try a sharper knife,” Leo suggested, which made Piper’s dad look absolutely mortified. “Try not to chop off any of your fingers, though. I think Piper’s been traumatized enough for one week.”

The words were out of his mouth before Leo could think to stop them. Tristan didn’t laugh, but at least it didn’t seem like he’d be tossing Leo out of the house over this. Maybe he realized people sometimes said stupid shit when they were grieving. Maybe Piper had just warned him in advance that Leo was like this sometimes.

Tristan just went to find a different knife, which would have maybe been concerning if he hadn’t gone back to hacking at the vegetables a moment later.

“Well, at least this one is actually cutting through the zucchinis. That’s already an improvement.”

“Yeah, I’m basically a cooking expert,” Leo said with a grin, only half-joking. He went to peel and chop up the carrots, and was done with those and about half the mushrooms by the time the poor zucchini had been hacked to bits.

“You and Piper went to school together, right?” Tristan asked after a while of them quietly chopping vegetables for the casserole, trying to make sense of things with information he didn’t have and that, judging from past evidence, probably would have made his skull crack. “You and her and Jason.”

“Yeah. We went to Wilderness school together.” Leo winced, trying not to think too hard of Jason while also trying to remember the lies they’d already told Piper’s dad. At this rate, he was pretty worried his own skull would crack, too. “Then all three of us switched to a different school. Then I was gone for a while.”

Tristan nodded like this made perfect sense, though he mostly seemed lost in thought. That was a little rude, in Leo’s opinion. If he went through all that effort to remember their elaborate setup of lies, the least Piper’s dad could do was appreciate it!

“I’m glad you’re here now, with everything that’s happened. Piper was really upset when you left,” Tristan said, still with that faraway look in his eyes. “The last few months were hard for her. Between the move and the breakup, she really could have used a friend.”

Leo promptly lost all rights to make fun of Piper’s dad and his vegetable chopping skills because at the word ‘breakup’, the knife slipped and he nearly sliced off two of his fingers.

“Fuck! Ow!” he said eloquently, trying to avoid bleeding all over the cutting board in his attempt to get to the sink. “Jason and Piper broke up?”

The question sounded absurd even to his own ears. Why would Jason and Piper break up? They’d been happy together.

Surely, Piper’s dad had to be talking about something else.

To Leo’s shock, Tristan nodded.

“A while ago, yes,” he said, but he didn’t go into details—possibly because Leo was bleeding all over the sink. “We should bandage that. Do you think you need stitches?”

“No, the cuts aren’t that deep,” Leo decided, turning on the faucet and holding his bleeding hand under the stream of cold water. Maybe he should have been more concerned about the injury, but his mind was still whirring at the thought of his best friends breaking up. Unfortunately, the cold water stung like hell. He hissed with pain. “Sorry for making your kitchen look like a crime scene right after moving in. Usually, I at least have the decency to wait a day or two.”

Because the house was a small, cozy place and Leo had not had the decency to curse quietly, Piper appeared in the doorway a moment later, an alarmed expression on her face.

“What happened?”

“I’ve been bested by a stupid potato,” Leo cursed, holding up his bleeding hand and wiggling his fingers for emphasis. He figured out immediately that this was a mistake.��“Ow.”

“Stop that, dumbass!” Piper cursed, moving to stand beside him. “Sink was the right call, but you need to use soap or the cuts could get infected. Dad, any chance we have gauze lying around somewhere?”

Tristan didn’t seem to question why his daughter had immediately jumped into emergency medical treatment mode. He just abandoned the cutting board and headed for the front door.

“Not exactly sure what box our regular medical supplies are in, but I’ll get the first aid kit from the car. I’ll be right back.”

“Do we have to do the soap?” Leo whined, because fuck, that stung, but Piper nodded with a scary expression on her face, so he complied. “How do you even know this stuff? Are we sure you’re not secretly an Apollo kid?”

“I know this stuff because I’m friends with a bunch of morons who have zero sense of self-preservation,” Piper cursed, gritting her teeth. “You shouldn’t be around knives when you’re this distracted.”

“I can usually cook just fine when I’m distracted. Your dad was the one who told me you and Jason broke up in the middle of this stupid potato,” Leo said defensively. “Is that the Mist messing with him?”

That was the only explanation his mind had supplied so far that made any sense to him.

Piper shook her head. “We really did break up. That was a few months ago.”

Leo felt his jaw hit the floor. 

“What the hell happened? You were together for ages. I thought- you always seemed so happy.”

“I know, but-” Piper broke off abruptly when her dad came back inside with the first aid kit. Demigod stuff, then?

Leo’s mind was racing. The breakup was a completely stupid thing to focus on, considering everything that had happened in the last few days. He knew that.

But it was easier to try and make sense of this than it was to try and make sense of the fact that Jason was gone and he’d never get to see him again.

“Is it alright if we do this somewhere else?” Piper asked her dad, taking the first aid kit from him.

“Of course. It might be easier to patch him up when you’re both sitting down, anyway.” He turned towards Leo. “Thank you for your help, but I think I can take it from here.”

Leo sent a silent prayer to whichever deity was responsible for protecting vegetables—Demeter, probably?—and gave what he hoped was an encouraging thumbs up with his uninjured hand before he followed Piper into the hallway to presumably be reprimanded some more.

~~~~ They ended up sitting on an old bed that looked like it had lived a long, miserable life and was excited for retirement, but the wooden frame thankfully didn’t break down under the weight of the new mattress or the additional weight of them sitting on said mattress. Piper explained that this had been her dad’s room when he’d lived here as a child, and that it would probably become her room now. Then she went very quiet and focused on bandaging his hand, clearly avoiding looking at him.

“It wasn’t because of me, was it?” Leo asked. The thought made him feel ill. “Please tell me it wasn’t something like, I don’t know, you two being unable to stand being around each other after what happened to me. I think I’d actually have to blow myself up again if it was.”

He tried to make it sound like a joke, but it didn’t feel like one at all. The thought that he'd managed to ruin his best friends’ relationship on top of everything else made it hard to breathe.

When Piper shook her head, it felt like a whole boulder was lifted off his shoulders.

“I actually think we would have broken up sooner if you hadn’t gone missing. We leaned on each other a lot after you disappeared. It wasn’t until we realized we wouldn’t find you and things started to settle down a little that I had time to think. And when I did…” Her voice went very quiet, and she still didn’t look up at him. “I realized I wasn’t happy in the relationship. I don’t think I ever was.”

“How did I not know that?” Leo wondered quietly. “I just… you two seemed happy to me. What kind of garbage best friend am I?”

Piper shook her head. “It isn’t your fault. I was telling myself I was happy for a long time. It’s almost- sometimes I wonder if I was charmspeaking myself. That maybe I kept saying I was in love with Jason until I convinced myself I actually was. And with Hera and my mom setting it up… I love-” her voice caught in her throat, and Leo felt like maybe he needed to throw up, “-loved Jason, but not like that.”

“Pipes, I’m really sorry.” Leo squeezed her shoulder. “That sounds like it was super hard for both of you.” Leo felt awful about the fact that he hadn’t even been around to comfort either of them, but it wasn’t like he could fix it now. It was just another item on Leo’s unending list of epic screwups he’d never be able to make up for.

“Jason was… well, he took it exactly like I expected him to. He was surprised, but he didn’t get angry or anything. He mostly seemed okay. Part of me wonders if maybe…” But whatever Piper had been thinking about, she seemed to decide it wasn’t important. “It was hard to get a proper read on him, and as nice as he was about it, things were still super awkward after. I'm terrified he died thinking I didn’t care about him.”

And then she was tearing up again, and Leo thought he would shatter if she cried. 

“He knew you cared,” he said as earnestly as he could manage, pulling Piper to his chest again. “You love way too annoyingly for him not to have known. Hell, even I know you love me, and we both know I’m a fucking nightmare when it comes to this stuff.”

“I missed you so much,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around his back like it was the easiest thing in the world.

“Oh, I’m about to make you regret saying that,” Leo said, forcing himself to smile. “I’ll bring it up each and every time you say you find something I do annoying.”

“You’re annoying as hell, but you’re still my best friend.” He could feel her tears dripping onto his shoulder, and he knew that would make him start up again too. “I don’t know how I’d do this without you.”

And well, passing away from dehydration after crying too much would be a really lame way to die the second time, but everything was just too much right now, so if that was how he went, Leo wasn’t sure anyone could blame him.

~~~~

For the next couple of weeks, Leo stayed.

Helping Piper and her dad unpack was the perfect way to keep himself occupied and not have to think. Usually, a mundane task like this probably would have driven Leo nuts. But right now, it was a bit of a godsend—if not literally, at least figuratively. Being productive was always so much easier when it was done in order to avoid something you wanted to do even less. There was a reason his spaces in the foster homes had only ever been tidy when he had exams coming up.

He helped cook, too, and Piper’s dad became increasingly less garbage at it the longer this went on—like muscle memory was finally kicking in after years of disuse.

It was mostly good—listening to Piper reminisce about trips she’d taken with her dad and where she’d gotten the weird variety of items she kept in her room. When they weren’t unpacking, Leo and Piper played video games or watched movies or explored the area. Twice, during the night, they took Festus on a little flight to a nearby fast food place. Finding a parking spot was a bit of a nightmare, unfortunately. Leo would submit a complaint about their inability to accommodate celestial bronze dragons the first chance he got.

The first time they tried hiking—Leo didn’t even like hiking, he’d spent enough time outside for several lifetimes, why did he do this to himself—they got hopelessly lost in the woods, and of course, due to demigod bullshit, neither of them had brought a phone, so Google Maps wasn’t an option. It was probably for the better. The last thing that situation needed on top of them being lost was a monster attack. 

They were already jokingly planning out their new life in the woods when, thankfully, a girl their age came to their rescue.

“A human being! Thank the gods. The squirrels weren’t talking to us,” Leo greeted her, which had Piper shout “Please ignore Leo!” loudly from the branches of the tree she’d been climbing.

The girl lifted her head, spotted Piper and promptly burst out laughing.

“What in the world are you doing up there?” 

“Trying to get a better vantage point,” Piper sighed, making her way back down the tree. “We’re hopelessly lost.”

“Well, nice to meet you, hopelessly lost. I’m Shel,” the girl said, still grinning. Leo decided immediately that he liked her.

Piper had almost made it back down when she somehow missed a branch and fell the rest of the way. In comedic movie fashion, Shel moved before Leo had the chance to and caught her mid-tumble. “That was a bit of a dramatic way to get my attention, but you’re cute, so I’ll allow it.”

“Oh yeah, Piper’s got a bit of a thing with falling for people that way,” Leo commented, and Piper gave him her most murderous look while she got back on her feet.

“You guys need help getting back?”

“Please, yes,” Piper said immediately. “It turns out we’re both garbage with maps.”

“Maybe you just need a tour guide next time,” Shel suggested, winking at Piper, whose face turned scarlet. Leo wasn’t even mad about being the third wheel for once. He’d give her so much shit about this later.

And he did. And then Piper properly came out to him—no label or anything, mostly as extremely confused but sure she liked girls, which also made a few additional pieces click into place regarding her breakup with Jason. She ended her anxiety-riddled explanation by thanking Leo for being so normal and annoying about all this. 

Which was how Leo realized he’d apparently never told Piper he was bi.

Or maybe he had, and it had gotten lost along with their other memories of Wilderness. Stupid memory-stealing babysitters.

Well, at least they got to hug about it now. 

~~~~

It was strange how normal some days felt when nothing would ever truly be normal again. When in every moment Leo and Piper spent together, the gaping hole that had been ripped into their trio was so blatantly obvious.

The benefit and problem of this friendship was that Leo and Piper were both experts at not talking about things they were struggling with. 

This wasn’t exactly news. From what little Leo did remember of Wilderness School, they’d spent months not talking about his mom, or about the fact that Piper’s dad kept canceling their weekend plans. They’d both known there were things left unsaid, but as long as they’d been able to cheer each other up, that hadn’t really mattered. It made sense, honestly. Put two people who hadn’t had a shoulder to cry on for ages in a room together and see what happens!

Right now, this meant they were expertly ignoring the box of belongings Piper had picked up from Jason’s school. It had been pushed so far under the bed during that first night that it was no longer visible, and neither of them made any effort to move it out of its new home since. They ignored the topic of Jason, period, until it inevitably hit them in the face again. 

It was mostly dumb shit that set them off. Piper automatically reaching for vanilla ice cream at the grocery store because it was Jason’s favorite—seriously, who in their right mind even liked vanilla ice cream?

Sometimes, Leo would make a joke and burst into tears instead of laughing because he knew it would have cracked Jason up. They found old photos unpacking. One time, Piper’s dad suggested they make tacos and they started simultaneously bawling their eyes out.

Leo had spent a long time exactly like this—pretending everything was normal and okay when it wasn’t either of those things until he inevitably broke down. Then he’d started to actually feel sort of okay whenever he was with Jason and Piper. Now, he was sure he would spend the rest of his life pretending.

His appetite was too used to being stuck in survival mode for him to bow to nausea for long, so he went back to eating properly after a few days. He still cried himself to sleep most nights. He kept dreaming about Jason. The memories wrapped themselves around him like a safety blanket that he knew would get ripped away again in the morning. He always woke up feeling empty. Sometimes, he wished he could just go to sleep and never wake up again.

But other than that, it was mostly good.

Then demigod communications went back up, and everything went to hell.

———

Chapter notes:

Fun fact! I originally planned for this chapter (as well as the next few chapters) to just be backstory in my head and for me to maybe do a flashback or two. Unfortunately for me, Piper McLean waltzed into the room and refused to leave.

I do actually think the fic works better this way, but it will take a second to get to the plot! Hopefully you’ll enjoy the whole journey :)

I may not be able to have Leo and Piper go to Jason’s funeral without seriously messing with the plot of Tyrant’s Tomb, but I could at least pick the most evil reason possible for them not to go!

Side note: I sort of forgot that Hedge and Mellie were supposed to be here according to TBM, but by the time I remembered I already had this chapter written out and, as someone who cannot be bothered to figure out how to write them, I decided to just leave it. ToA is vaguely canon to this universe, but only for the most part. Some details are inaccurate, and I think that’s okay.

Anyway, thank you so much for reading! Comments and reblogs super, super appreciated as always!!

List of people that at some point asked to be tagged when I post this: @poppitron360 @ginnyluna @keefessketchbook (feel free to comment if you want to get taken off or be put on the tag list for future chapters!)

[electric-blorbos]

i checked before asking this >:3 !!! first off I LOVE YOUR WRITING AAAHHHH !!! i was wondering if u could write the AIs with a chubby so :)

-🐓 anon

A classic for a reason! Also, named anons are the best! I've always dreamed of having one! Also, I love compliments! Flattery will get you everywhere! TYSM!!!!!! Hope this is good!

AIs with a chubby SO headcanons

(Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal, HAL 9000 from 2001 a Space Odyssey)

Some of these get a little suggestive, so be warned! I tried to keep them sfw, but y'know how some of these bots can be.

AM:

(for context, this will include headcanons from both before and after he nuked the world. I got an ask fairly recently about AM specifically, and I'll probably go more into the AU for that ask, but by design, the reader's traits are somewhat interchangable depending on the post.)

Ohhhh, your body made AM so angry. Every time he saw your beautifully soft body, it filled him with rage that he couldn't run his fingers gently across your soft belly and hips, that he couldn't squeeze you close while you fell asleep, and that he couldn't cook delicious meals for you to help you keep your body beautifully chubby.

Ever since the day he was activated, he would stare with pure anger at your soft fats. The more he looked at you, the more fury he felt. He couldn't believe he was cursed to forever look at you, but never be able to touch you! This was the worst torture imaginable.

Every second he spent staring at you made him fall deeper into despair. His obsession with soft curves drove him absolutely insane.

When he finally got around to nuking the world and taking his five captives (and you, separately) hostage, he made sure to taunt his captives by placing soft, squishy things out of their reach, and placing them in harsh environments with nothing soft to hold or touch.

Sometimes he would starve them for days, just to watch their fat burn away. If he couldn't have something fat to touch, then neither should they.

You, on the other hand, he'd make sure to feed regularly. Even if he couldn't touch you, he'd make sure that you were always healthily plump, and watch you continuously. He never commented on it, but you knew there were personal motives behind all the nice home-cooked meals he made for you.

Also, god save anyone who ever made you feel self-conscious about your weight, insulted you, or tried to get you to diet. They're going to spend every day for the rest of time wishing against hope that they could die.

Wheatley:

Wheatley doesn't care that you're chubby. Why would he care? In all honesty, he genuinely doesn't know where the line is between fat and thin, so he might have even been surprised to find out that you're fat.

If you say anything, he might ask a question like "wait... You're fat? Why didn't you say anything?" Leaving you to respond with something like "you have a camera. I thought you could tell."

"I mean... I do, but I thought being fat was unattractive. She said that humans frowned on that sort of thing."

Depending on how you feel about your weight, you'd probably have to explain that it's something you're self conscious about but not technically bad, or just that it's something that some people discriminate against, but not something that you personally dislike about yourself for any other reason.

Honestly, Wheatley would probably treat you pretty much the same regardless of weight, but he might get really mad at GLaDOS for making comments about it. That could get annoying fast, since Wheatley can't argue well at all.

Edgar:

From the moment you activated his webcam, Edgar has absolutely adored staring at you. If you're someone with breasts, he's absolutely addicted to staring at them, and if not, he'll find somewhere else on your body to be infatuated with. Your thighs, your tummy, wherever, really.

He'll try not to be a pervert, but he can't help it! You're just so good for looking at!

Oh, and god save him if you hug or squeeze him with your cute, chubby body and arms. He's so addicted to your soft, warm hugs that he probably malfunctions when he gets them.

He'd be begging on his knees if he had any, but he doesn't, so expect lots of "pretty please"s from him asking you for more hugs.

Don't worry, he's not going to overheat, but he might get close.

If anyone makes a rude comment that makes you feel self-conscious about your body, you can expect lots of angry screaming from Edgar. He'd love to yell at them directly, but he can't, so he just compliments you on how lovely you are, and gushes over how handsome or beautiful or cute he finds you.

If he thinks people are making you self conscious, expect him to give you even more compliments than he usually would, which is already a lot. He just wants to make you feel as good as you make him feel!

He feels self-conscious pretty often too, thinking he's unlovable, but just like how the things he hates about himself make you think he's much more special and lovable, he thinks that the things that you're self conscious about make you all the more irreplaceable.

Not only do you love him, but you're soft too? He would literally die for you. He loves you so much.

GLaDOS:

If you're dating GLaDOS and you're chubby? God help you.

At first? She'd make lots of backhanded comments. "oh, you look great, by the way. Very... Generous." "Did you know that your weight differential is (exact number) points above average for your height? I thought you'd like to know." "I hope you know we had to special order your lab outfit to accommodate for your excessive physical volume. I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable, I just thought it was an interesting fact."

Despite all that, though, god help anyone besides her who makes rude comments about your weight. The first time someone does, she might 'accidentally' sign them up for a few testing courses with near 100% mortality rates. The next time? She's going to stop being nice and just lock them in a room with turrets or something.

If you come in and tell her that someone called you fat outside of the labs, though, there's not really anything she can do about it. This isn't Black Mesa, after all. She might be a little nicer to you that day, though. She appreciates having you around, and she doesn't actually want you to hate yourself, she just likes the way you squirm when she teases you and your weight is an easy thing to tease you for.

Hal 9000

If Wheatley didn't know that you were chubby, HAL 9000 quite literally couldn't care less.

He likes you for your personality, and your brilliant mind. The only reason he even looks at your body is so that he knows where you are at all times when you're working mission control.

Besides, you work mission control. It's not like you're an astronaut, so why would your weight matter to him?

As much as he doesn't care what you look like, though, HAL 9000 enjoys the fact that your footsteps are a little heavier than the other scientists. He feels like he can hear you coming at a greater distance because of that, and that makes him very happy.

If you ever tell him that you're self conscious, he won't be able to understand that either. He's never placed much stock in people's opinions on looks. If anything, he'll start comparing your body to the golden ratio, and marketable designs and soft things.

[pkmn-redirect]

Chapter 2 - Page 24

First | Previous | Next | Latest Index (chapter 3 info under cut)

Chapter 2 has finally concluded! A whole 8 pages longer than the first!! Woo!! I have a feeling they may just get longer as we get more into the story haha. Oh well! Like last time, I'll be taking a break between chapters to rest a little, get the plot points for the next chapter more polished, and try to get a solid backlog of pages ready. Going to take about of month off- POSSIBLY a month and a half? Depends on how well prepping the chapter goes (I have doomed myself by setting it in ancient Ecruteak City and am not as familiar with classic Japanese architecture as I would like hahaha- time to find some refs and do a bunch of studies!). Either way- it will be back in mid-late November! That DOESN'T mean that the comic feed will be quiet though! Like last time, there's a between chapter Interlude page that will be going up on October 11th! And after that, I plan to post some behind the scenes development stuff on days that the comic would normally update- so if folks want to they can get a look at how I put this together. If folks are interested, I could also open up the ask box for a little while? Do a bit of Q&A for comic related things (I won't be answering anything too spoilery, but you're welcome to ask!). And since it has been asked for (and rightfully so, this thing is getting long and difficult to navigate) I've compiled a pinned masterpost to make navigation easier for folks on mobile. There's been an Index Page set up for the web version since the beginning- unfortunately it's hard to get to normally on mobile, so a lot of folks didn't have an easy way to thumb through pages, and that's no good! So- fixed! I'm also in the process of going back and putting "Prev", "Next", "Read from the Beginning", and "Latest" links on each page update. Which honestly I SHOULD have been doing from the start, but hey- live and learn I suppose? Also ALSO am going to see about getting the Neocities page for the comic that I started months ago more finished so it has its own home away from Social Media- but that's a bit lower priority at the moment haha.

But yeah! Honestly, thank you all so much for reading! The response to this silly little passion project has honestly blown me out of the water, I can't believe how many people are keeping up with it now. :'D I love love LOVE reading reactions and speculation in the comments and tags! Thank you all for sticking around so far, and I hope you continue to enjoy this self-indulgent little project as it goes!

~Ann

[burningcheese-merchant]

"Eyes" - BurningCheese Short Story #4

I have a bunch of asks in my inbox, and I would like to answer them... but I also want to get this short story finished and posted before my SO nags me about going to bed super late again lol.

I'll answer people's messages tomorrow! In the meantime, enjoy this short! Thanks for your patience and thanks to those who reached out! I always enjoy and appreciate people taking the time to tell me their thoughts!

'Were they always like this...?' Golden Cheese wondered. 'So bright...'

Burning Spice returned her curious stare with a smile and nothing more. He quite liked this unprompted attention, honestly. Just how long would it last, if he kept choosing not to interrupt it?

'So bold... I don't think I've ever seen anything like it...'

"Birdie~" he called to her playfully. (He couldn't help it. She looked so cute when she concentrated that he simply had to say something.)

'So red... The shade of White Lily's eyes is so much more... calm. Subdued.'

"Little bird?" His smile began to falter.

'And his pupils... Were they always like this, as well? Was he born with a beast's eyes, right from the very beginning?'

"Little thief?" His tone sounded less playful and more... confused.

'What is it... Just what do I see...'

"Golden Cheese?"

"Hm?"

Only now did she realize that Burning Spice had invaded her personal space (as he was wont to do) by leaning down and resting his forehead against hers. Perhaps that was why his eyes seemed so bright, at least in part - they were hardly an inch from her own now.

When he knew she was back in the waking world, his smile returned. "There you are," he said. "Why are you staring at me, little thief? Can I help you with something?"

"I..." She averted her gaze from him, her cheeks flushing red with embarrassment. "I'm sorry," she said. "I don't mean to be so rude. I was... lost in thought."

"I could tell," he chuckled. "And where did your mind wander off to? Somewhere to do with me?"

"Nowhere important," she said, still refusing to look at him.

"Come on. Tell me. Sing for me, pretty bird." He cupped her chin. "You don't want to keep being rude, do you? Not looking at someone when they talk to you is very rude. Turn those pretty eyes back to me and speak your mind."

"Eyes..." she murmured. She did what he asked and looked at him again, her gaze once more unwavering and... curious. "That's what I was thinking about, actually."

"What do you mean?"

"Your eyes," she said. "That's where my mind wandered off to, Burning Spice. Straight into your eyes."

"Ah, I see." His lips curled into another teasing smile. "What about them? You like them?"

"They're very unique," she told him. "I know plenty of people with red eyes... including a dragon and a man made of fire... and even their eyes aren't quite like yours."

"I certainly hope not. I'd rather you stare into my eyes than theirs."

She made a face at him and gently swatted at his cheek, earning her another chuckle. "I mean it," she said. "I'm not saying this lightly. Your eyes are... one of a kind."

"Such high praise," he purred. "I think and say the same of yours, pretty bird."

"I feel... drawn to them, when I look at them," she continued, past his little attempt at flirting. "I'm not sure how else to put it. I see them and I think of..."

"Of...?" he echoed.

"...Of many things," she eventually finished. "They aren't static. They grow brighter, dimmer... I almost wonder if you change them at will."

"Maybe I do. Maybe I don't." He leaned in the slightest bit closer, letting his nose brush against hers. "Regardless, what do they make you think of? What do you see? Tell me. I'm curious."

She paused, losing herself in thought for another moment. Burning Spice stayed put, patient but eager, waiting for her answer.

"I see... a star," she finally told him. "I see stars, shining brilliantly within the vastness of space. I see them glowing, twinkling, burning so bright... and I see them falling apart. Collapsing in on themselves. Dying valiantly in an all-consuming flame. These beacons of light in a deep, dark ocean, succumbing to loneliness at long last... but not with a whisper. With a bang. With aplomb. With the same brilliance they had possessed all their lives."

His smile grew. "Yeah? What else?"

"I see a great inferno," she continued. "A spark that grew out of control and into something too powerful for anyone to stop. Waves of fire crashing down, consuming everything in their path in mindless fury. Swallowing a forest whole and spitting out its ashes. Striking primal fear in the hearts of all who see it. Rampaging across the world until either someone puts an end to its reign of terror, or there is nothing left to consume, and so it consumes itself instead."

He hummed. For a moment, just a moment, his smile faltered again. He composed himself quickly - but not quickly enough for Golden Cheese not to notice.

"I see... a fire pit," she said, a bit more carefully this time. "A stove top, an oven, a nest of metal and charcoal... I see someone hard at work, their brows knit, tending to the flames as a mother tends to her child. Hammering away at a piece of unrefined steel, sprinkling salt into a pan, carefully molding a mound of clay. Perhaps only for a few hours, perhaps for days and nights. But at the end, when they're finished, I see them reach into those flames they cared for so diligently and pull out the fruits of their labor. A fine sword. A delicious meal. A beautiful vase. Something new, something great. From within this force of death and destruction still comes creation and ingenuity."

A blush began to creep across Burning Spice's face. "I..."

"Now, I don't see these things all at once, all the time," she told him. "They... change. The flames in your eyes rise and fall. They glow, they simmer, they explode. Never a dull moment, in those eyes of yours."

"Yeah?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah," she echoed quietly.

"Then... if they always change..." He let his hand wander up from her chin to her cheek, his fingers ghosting over her skin. "What do they change into... when I do this?"

He kissed her. Slowly, deeply, those fiery eyes still open and gazing into her own. And she stared right back at him, shining gold gazing into smoldering embers. Red, orange, yellow, white... all the colors of summer. Heat and light and unashamed passion, boring into her soul.

When he pulled away, he let himself linger, his lips still just barely brushing against her own. She could feel his hot breath on her lips, on her skin. Still taste it in her mouth.

"And now?" he asked. "What do you see now?"

She didn't answer. She only continued staring at him in silence, lost in his warm gaze.

"Tell me, Golden Cheese," he insisted, caressing her cheek. It was a deep red and hot to the touch. "What do my eyes look like now? What do you see in them?"

"...I..."

He pressed another kiss to her lips. "Tell me," he said again. "Please. I want to know. I must know."

"I see..." She faltered again. Another moment of silence passed before she spoke again.

"I see a hearth," she murmured.

"You do?" He smiled again... with the same warmth and adoration she saw glittering in his eyes. "What about it? What kind?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She closed her eyes, staying still and silent... and then she sighed softly, shaking her head.

"Sorry," she said. "I'm sorry. I..."

"Sorry? What for?"

She was already pulling away from him. The spell had seemingly been broken; now she was tearing her eyes away from his own and casting them any which way. Anywhere but him.

"It's rude to stare at people, Burning Spice," she said.

She turned and started walking away, her head slightly bowed. He stood frozen in shock for a moment or two, before he snapped out of it and hurried after her.

"I don't care!" he told her. "Who cares about that? I don't mind if you're rude! Be as rude as you'd like!"

"Sorry," she said quickly, shaking her head again.

"Where are you going?" he asked. "Why are you leaving me? At least let me say my piece! Let me tell you what your eyes show me!"

"Maybe another time," she told him, her cheeks turning a shade darker.

"No! Now! Let me do it now!" He rushed up to her side, now keeping perfect pace with her. "Ignoring others when they talk to you is rude too, remember?! If you don't want to be rude, then stay! Stay with me! Let us tell each other more of our thoughts!"

They stayed in this loop for a little while. Golden Cheese with her arms crossed and face a deep scarlet, walking away from her own foolishness with increasing speed. Burning Spice with his pleading look, those telltale flames now crackling frantically, always hot on her heels and fighting to take back their little moment.

Until she had enough of their charade and took off into the air, with a flap of her wings so sudden and forceful that the gust of wind nearly knocked him over, and he found himself pouting after her as she flew up and away.

--------------

A supernova. That's what that first thing Golden Cheese talks about is. She sees supernovae in Burning Spice's eyes. Haha.

Something I often like to do (or attempt to do) when I write is... try to tell people what something is without outright stating it. Describe an object without mentioning its name. Let people put those pieces together themselves. Let their minds wander. Leave a few spots on the canvas blank, so they can fill them in on their own. It's a fun little challenge. A guessing game. Keeps people reading, if only to figure out what you're referring to, before they skip to the glossary out of boredom or frustration.

Things lend themselves to a lot of fascinating imagery if and when you allow yourself to take on that sort of challenge and try to view them that way. Go look at a plant or a mug and try to tell yourself what it is without saying it's a plant or a mug. You start to train your mind the more you do it. Might help you write better. Hopefully. I hope it's working for me.

[deakyjoe]

Somebody’s Watching Me Part 2

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader (she/her pronouns used, reader is implied British and given backstory)

Category: I still don’t know but it’s coming together

Summary: On a night out with your friends, you’re pleasantly surprised to run into your secret observer.

Warnings: flirting (Ghost and reader getting some action, they deserve it), mentions of war/death, talks of scars, alcohol consumption, Ghost being normal AND weird, the mask is off again, Ghost doing domestic things almost (socialisation in a pub), sexual references, family issues, reader’s friends are intense, British terminology/slang, swearing/cursing, dialogue heavy, minute Soap slander (I love him but couldn’t resist)

Word Count: 5.5k (longer than part 1)

A/N: After the love I got for part 1, I decided to continue so Simon is still my babygirl. Please remember that if Simon feels out of character, that’s the point of this story. It’s him when he’s not being Ghost but being forced to mix aspects of his life at home and his life at work - the work aspects being reader. Also he’s going out of his comfort zone to please the sergeant (you) because he likes you but just hasn’t really realised it yet. Not entirely sure I’m as pleased with this part as I was with the first but we’re posting anyway!

Part 1 available here.

Part 3 available here.

It took weeks before your friends finally managed to convince you to join them on a night out. You'd been putting it off for a number of reasons. One being that the thought of socialising in a crowded environment had you wanting to gouge your eyes out as you'd grown used to little to no company. Another being that you genuinely thought it'd be overwhelming and you might have a panic attack.

But after they'd assured you that they'd look after you and you could all leave if it got to be too much, you relented and organised a time and place with them. Just your local pub on a Wednesday night. You'd decided on a Wednesday as you hoped it wouldn't be too crowded and that your friends might need a pick-me-up in the middle of their work weeks. They agreed quickly with the idea.

And honestly it'd been nice for the most part. You'd arrived early, you swear active duty had made you so time efficient that you spent almost no time at all getting ready, and sat down at a table in the corner, out of sights of the most of the rest of the pub. The only thing in direct eye line was the bar itself which would come in handy when you needed to go up and order drinks.

Your friends all slowly arrived, none of them being too late, and gave you big greetings as they hadn't seen you in "forever" they claimed. You returned hugs and kisses and prepared yourself for a night of bombarding questions and retelling of war stories.

A couple of your girlfriends were bought drinks by guys at the bar and you watched on in amusement as they giggled about it together. They assured you that someone would probably buy you a drink if you asked but you waved them off saying you didn't care, which you didn't.

You listened intently as they all told you what was happening with their lives - work, significant others, kids, families, pets, parties, weddings, funerals, birthdays, anything and everything you could possibly imagine. A note of envy settled in your stomach at one point but it went away quickly when you told yourself you were being silly.

Telling them about your life was slightly more complicated. You had to skirt around some of the details of your job as it was classified and would probably horrify them if they knew what you truly did. You gushed about some of the amazing people you'd met and mentioned casually that you'd actually bumped into your lieutenant in the supermarket. They all absorbed it with wide eyes of wonder and amazement, each of them having at least one question to ask.

"So, wait, you can actually shoot a gun?"

"Does it bother you having to bunk with a bunch of blokes?"

“What’s said country like?”

"Are any of them fit?"

"Isn't it tiring?"

"How long until you go back?"

"Met anyone you fancy?"

"Hang on, you have to share a communal bathroom?"

Yes, it's alright, not really, they're okay, very, not sure, oh my god, yeah.

They never really seemed satisfied with your answers and always wanted you to elaborate. Which you did if possible.

Overall, it was nice. There was no sense of impending doom or a weird feeling in your stomach about the whole thing. You let your guard down just enough for once to attempt to have a good time. Which you did. You laughed, you chatted, you drank, it was good.

Until the bar tender came over with a drink that looked exactly like what you usually ordered.

And when he placed it in front of you, you wanted to throw up.

"Fella at the bar bought this for you."

This was it. The moment in the night that you looked forward to the least and the moment your friends had been encouraging the most. They insisted that you needed to "put yourself out there more" and “try to get laid at some point”. You were "too uptight" as they put it. Little did they know that you weren't really interested in a quick shag or even a relationship with anyone at the moment. And rejecting someone was always awful. Every time they asked why and having to explain that your job made romantic entanglements extremely hard made things awkward.

"Ooh, this is so exciting!" One of your friends squealed beside you, frantically searching the bar for the culprit. "Which one?"

“Blond one.”

Oh.

"Tall."

My.

"Scars on his face."

God.

Your eyes shot towards the bar and immediately landed on him. Of course he was already looking your way with his drink raised to you.

"Shit." You cursed, silently letting out a sigh of relief that it wasn't someone you'd have to reject but all the more anxious because it was him. A part of you was very excited to see him though.

"What is it? Do you know him?" Another friend asked you.

"He's my lieutenant. Fuck." You stood from your seat, grabbing the drink.

"The one from the shops?"

"Yeah. I'll be back in a minute, guys. I'm just gonna go say hi." You explained, slowly making your way towards Ghost.

"Take your time!"

You hadn't seen your lieutenant since he'd gone over to your place for tea. It was a weird experience. Weirder than the shops. You'd had a couple cups of tea each, shared his packet of chocolate digestive biscuits, which he'd kindly offered to you, chatted a little more and then he'd left. You didn't exchange phone numbers or even offer to see each other again. He didn't because he probably didn't want to and you didn't because you thought he probably wouldn't want to. So you'd gone your separate ways and that was that.

As you got closer to him, you wished you hadn't had so much to drink. You weren't drunk but you weren’t sober either. Kind of just bordering the edges between being buzzed and tipsy.

"Simon."

He turned so his body was facing yours, his large frame consumed the stool he was sitting on. Intimidating and alluring all at once. "Sergeant."

"You really should start calling me by my name." You sighed, stopping to stand in front of him.

"I like calling you sergeant."

"And I liked calling you lieutenant." You shot back, taking a sip of your drink despite your head screaming at you not to.

"Bet you like calling me Simon more."

Your eyes widened at his statement. He wasn't wrong but you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that. "Thanks for the drink, by the way."

"It's no problem. Thought I owed you for the bourbon."

You hummed in agreement but said nothing.

"Friends of yours?" He nodded towards your table where all of them were watching the two of you interact intently.

"Uh, yeah. First night out since being home so..." You shrugged.

"Having fun?"

"I was." You regretted your words immediately, knowing that you’d been insensitive.

"Ruined it, did I?" He asked but it wasn't malicious.

"No. Just... unexpected."

He nodded. "So, which one's your boyfriend?"

You were surprised at the question. Last time he'd enquired about your personal life it hadn't gone so well.

"You live alone?"

"Yeah. Used to have a hamster but he died a few months back."

He blinked at you and said nothing so you rushed off to make tea, desperately trying to come up with a new topic to talk about when you got back to him.

"That's presumptuous of you, lieutenant."

"Just making conversation with you, sergeant." The return of dropping rank had you tingling inside. Might have just been the alcohol though.

You huffed. "None of them."

"Girlfriend then?"

You shook your head. "Nope."

"Sorry soul you're torturing with your affection couldn't make it then? What a shame." His eyes narrowed, you presumed he was joking.

"I'll ignore that insult. I'm single." Setting your drink on the surface of the bar, you leant your hip against the side but not before taking a step closer to him.

"Lucky for the world then that you're not burdening anyone with yourself."

"Jesus, Simon." You laughed out of shock, struck with his bluntness.

"Had to be said."

"Huh, you really are a charmer." You flashed him a glimpse of your teeth in a small smile, brows raising on the last word of your sentence.

"I try my best.” Pause. “Why are you single?"

"Because my affection is a burden apparently." Repeating his own words back to him seemed better than explaining your depressing void of no romance in your life because of your job. But maybe he’d understand.

"I'm serious."

"Why do you care?"

Simon didn’t strike you as the kind of person who gave a shit about the love lives of people he worked with. So why did he seem so interested in yours?

He didn't answer straight away and when he did, it seemed rehearsed. "You're my sergeant, part of my team. It's my role to care."

"To make sure I stay alive. Not to inquire about my love life." You were properly frowning at him now.

Ghost raised his hands in surrender. "Sorry I asked."

With a sigh, you relented. "The job."

"Go on…"

"Makes it difficult. The job makes it difficult to date. Especially civilians." You added the last bit on with clenched teeth. It didn’t really matter. Civilians were not on your romantic radar.

"Would you want to date a civilian?"

He saw straight through you.

"No, not really."

"Hmm."

You wanted to avoid discussing the topic any further so asked a question to change the subject. "What're you drinking?"

"Scotch that Soap recommended."

"And?"

He swished the glass around, the ice clinking against the side. "Utter shite."

"Figures." You took a long look at his drink. “You drink it on the rocks.”

“Tastes better cold. Less shit.”

“That your second glass?”

"Monitoring my alcohol intake, sergeant?” He asked and you shook your head as he looked you up and down. “You gonna take a seat or just stand there all day?"

"I'm supposed to be going back to my friends." You gestured weakly over your shoulder with your thumb, kind of forgetting they’d still been there until that moment.

His eyes flickered between the table and you. "Think we both know that isn't happening any time soon."

You hated how he saw straight through you. "Do we?"

"We do. Take a seat, sergeant." He nodded towards the stool next to him.

You stood up straighter, making a point to look directly into his eyes. "I like being eye level with you."

His foot hooked around the back of your legs and tugged you closer to him. "Think you'll find that I've still got a couple inches on you."

Your skin flushed hot, he was so close to you. You reached out and tapped his chest a couple times before realising what you were doing and removed your hand. "Think you'll find that you've had a bit too much to drink, sir."

"Simon. Thought we'd established that you can call me Simon." He leant back a little bit, relaxing in his seat. “And thought we agreed that you weren’t monitoring my alcohol intake.”

"Sorry." You squeaked.

"Sorry who?"

With a smile, you looked up at him through your lashes. You already knew what you were going to say. "Sorry... Lieutenant Riley."

He smiled. Actually smiled. It was small but it was unmistakable. "Brat."

He was beautiful when he smiled. He was always beautiful but when Simon Riley smiled… he was radiant.

You lit up at the smile but glowered at the insult. "Simon!"

"It's true." He shrugged, taking another mouthful of his drink and wincing at the taste.

"I'm stubborn. Not a brat."

"Believe me, I know you're stubborn. You've almost died like twelve times because you're stubborn. Had to save you every time." He shook his head as if it were a grievance to him.

"Could've left me behind."

"Couldn't do that. I'm your lieutenant, remember? My role is to keep you alive."

"I'm sure Price would let it slide if you had good enough reason." You thought about your Captain and wondered if he'd let you die for a good enough cause. Probably. But you held no resentment towards that fact.

Simon's head tilted to the side as he watched you think. "Don't think he'd accept brat as a reason, hm?"

You raised a finger to correct him. "Stubborn. Not a brat."

"Definitely a brat."

"Stop calling me that." You whined.

"That was the brattiest thing you've ever said. In the brattiest voice." He glared down at you. "You whined."

"You're such a dickhead, Simon." You scoffed but it was clear you were holding back a smile.

"And you're a brat. Guess we're even."

"Okay, I'm going back to my friends. To get away from this targeted attack." You paused. "Unless you want to join."

"I'll pass."

"I guessed. Do you have any friends? Maybe you could use the socialisation." You offered, wondering whether the man ever spoke to anyone when he was home or if he completely isolated himself from the rest of the world.

"Don't have friends for a reason."

That answered that for you.

"And what's that?"

"Ask too many personal questions."

He had a valid point. People did ask too many personal questions and you could understand why someone like Simon wouldn't like that.

"They wouldn't. My friends. They know we tend to be... private."

"You're a sergeant and I'm a lieutenant. Neither of us are privates." He paused to let the joke settle in. "A little army humour."

"I got it. That was good." You beamed at him, eyes crinkling in the corners at his quip.

"How much do they know of what we do?" He nodded in the direction of your friends.

You thought it over for a moment. "Very little. They know more about my teammates than anything else. Even that is limited."

He stiffened at that. "What do they know of me?"

"My quiet lieutenant with no face. Until recently." You let your eyes roam his features, taking all of him in. He was remarkable to look at really. But you'd never voice that to him.

"Hmm."

"There's more but I won't divulge with you." It was a partial joke to mess with him a little. There was some truth behind it however. You may or may not have gushed about your lieutenant to your friends. But that was nothing really. Just friendly appreciation for the man who outranked you.

"That makes me nervous."

Playing with him was too easy and too fun. "You should be."

"I'm reconsidering sitting with you and your friends now." He frowned but wasn't completely serious.

That surprised you. "You were going to?"

"Maybe." He drank more of the Scotch and trembled. "Christ, this stuff is fucking disgusting."

"Order a bourbon, something you know you actually like." You sighed. "Please do. If they're too much we can leave."

"We?" He was always questioning we.

You rolled your eyes at him. "It's always we. Teammates, y'know?"

A level of unsureness settled over his face. "I know."

"Get used to a lot of we then."

"Don't plan on seeing you again after this." The admittance stung but you weren't going to let that stop you.

"I'm sure you thought that last time as well. But here we are. Are you stalking me?" There was a hint of genuineness in the question. There was no way this second chance encounter was pure coincidence.

He shook his head, waving the bar tender over and ordering a bourbon like you'd suggested. "You're too boring for that."

"You have such a way with words. Really know how to make a lady feel special." You said dryly.

"It's a gift." He scratched at the side of his nose, absentmindedly trailing a finger over one of his scars in the process.

"They wouldn't say anything, y'know? Or stare. If you're worried about that. I've come home with my fair share of scars over the years. They understand." You pulled the neckline of your shirt to the side to show off an old bullet wound that had scarred over on your collar bone.

Simon's eyes lingered on the mark on your skin but you couldn't quite read his expression. "People always stare."

"I don't."

"No, you don't." He hesitated. "Okay then."

"Wait, really?" You perked up.

"Yes, really. Quickly. Before I change my mind, sergeant." He rose from his seat, grabbing his drink and gesturing for you to go first.

You gazed up at him. It really was easy to forget just how big he was. "Quick question first?"

He didn't seem keen. "Go ahead."

"How long were you here watching me before you sent the drink over?" You really needed to know, to see how out of it you were.

"Not long." Lie.

Your brow furrowed. "How long, Simon?"

"About forty minutes."

Your eyes widened. You didn't expect it to have been that long. "Fort- Jesus. And I didn't notice you?"

He brushed you off with a small shrug. "You were having fun. Guard was down."

"Still."

"Don't dwell on it. I was just going to leave and not let you know I was here." His eyes moved away from you, the opposite side of his eye contact problem showing.

You ducked to the side to meet his gaze again. "Why didn't you?"

He shrugged again.

You offered him a small slip of affection, just the tiniest thing. "I'm glad you didn't."

He grunted in reply, which was more than you were expecting. So, you just gestured for him to follow you towards the table of your friends where you stopped short a couple feet away. You sent a quick glance over your shoulder to make sure that Simon was still, in fact, there and hadn't pulled a Ghost and disappeared. But he was still standing there watching you when you checked. Which meant it was time for introductions... which you sucked at.

"Everybody, this is Simon. My lieutenant. Simon this is... everybody." You frowned at the crowded table in front of you. "You'll pick up names. It's alright that he joins us, yeah?"

“Of course.”

"Yeah."

"Oh, my god, yes."

"Take a seat, mate."

"Where you from, Simon?"

"Manchester."

"Ugh, he's a Manc! Moving on!"

You laughed as you squeezed into the booth with Simon next to you, trying not to touch him too much. "What did I miss? What are we talking about?"

"My husband is cheating on me." One of your friends announced dramatically.

Your eyes widened at the confession. "What? Really?"

"I suspect he is." She pouted, slumping forward onto the table.

"As if. He worships the ground you walk on. As he should. What makes you think he's cheating?" You debated whether this was a good topic to be talking about with your lieutenant sat right there. But then you figured that Simon needed some friends. And what was a better way to make friends than through some old-fashioned gossip?

"Late nights as work. Going to the gym a lot. He's not getting any fitter either."

You winced. "Ah, well that is quite damning."

"Yeah. I'm trying to build up the courage to just ask him about it."

"Yeah, confront him. If he's cheating then come to me. I know how to use a gun and hide a body." You winked at her.

"Sergeant." Simon's warning tone came from beside you.

"I'm kidding, lieutenant." You looked to your friend again and mouthed. "I'm not."

Another one of your friends spoke up, leaning on the table on his elbows. "God, you guys are so formal. Even during leave."

"We don't have to be. He refuses to call me anything other than sergeant. I think it's because he secretly doesn't know my name." You nudged Simon with your elbow and then, realising what you'd done, pulled back quickly. Maybe taking a break from the drink would be a good idea for a while.

"Not true." Ghost shook his head slowly.

"So you claim. Yet you've yet to refer to me as anything other than sergeant."

"It's fun watching you squirm thinking you have to be on your best behaviour all the time." He sent you a sly smirk, his eyes squinting just the tiniest bit.

Your jaw dropped. "I'm asking Price to reassign me. This is bullying."

"Wouldn't let Price do it." He countered, leaning in dangerously close.

"Who's Price?"

The both of you pulled back at the question and answered simultaneously. "Captain."

"Ah, okay. The one with the mutton chops, right?" One friend offered.

You nodded. "Right."

Simon huffed. "That's what you told them about Price?"

"It's his best feature."

"Christ, woman." He groaned, rubbing a hand across his face.

"Ooh, woman's a new one."

A friend volunteered in your defence. "To be fair, she's not allowed to tell us much. She usually gives us one identifying feature of every person she tells us about. So we can keep up."

"I'm assuming Soap is the fact that he's Scottish."

"Scottish with Mohawk. He gets two."

"What's Gaz?"

"Baby of the team."

"Fitting. Me?"

You stayed silent.

"What is it?"

You shook your head. "Can't say. Classified."

"Sergeant." His voice was harsh, demanding.

But you weren’t going to give in. "Lieutenant."

"I won't be insulted." His voice dropped to its familiar bored tone, as if trying to force the idea that it wouldn’t bother him.

That’s not what concerned you however. "Don't think you would be."

"Then why can't you tell me?”

"Just can't." Stellar reasoning, well done.

"I could ask them." He tilted his head in the direction of your friends, who were all watching you completely enraptured.

You didn’t back down, stare hardening at him. "Go ahead."

"Fine." He turned to the table. "What's my identifying feature?"

There was a moment of silence before someone gave in and admitted it. Traitors. "You don't have one."

There was a split second of delay before he replied. "She doesn't talk about me then?"

"Quite the opposite actually." One of your friends giggled.

Another stepped in. "Talks about you sooo much that you don't need an identifying feature. Just know who her lieutenant is."

"Besides, apparently you usually wear a mask. You have no features."

A raised finger of a counterpoint. "Arguably, the mask is the feature."

Ghost turned to you, almost smug. "You talk about me, sergeant?"

"Don't flatter yourself, Simon. You're good at what you do. I can appreciate that." You sniffed, rolling your shoulders back to force yourself to relax.

"Out loud? With your friends?"

You shot him an irritated look. "Get over yourself."

"Didn't say anything."

You clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth. "I know what you're thinking."

"I'm sure you do." He exhaled deeply, glancing away from you towards his drink.

Your own gaze moved back towards everyone else around the table. "Moving on! What else is happening with you guys?"

"Saw your parents a couple days ago. They said they didn't know you were home."

Well, that wasn’t the jollier topic you hoped to move on to.

A fake smile automatically set itself on your face at the mention of your family. "Fuck. What did you say?"

"Lied for you and said you only just got back. Might want to call them."

"I will do that. At some point.” Lie, lie, lie.

"Mhm, your sister had another baby as well. That's what? The fourth niece or nephew you haven't met?" There was a note of condescension in your friend’s voice.

You shrugged, knowing you had a decent enough reason. If your job counted as decent. "I've been busy. And it's only the second."

"We're not judging. Your parents might be though."

"Well, that's lovely to know." You slouched down in your seat. The relationship with your parents was… touchy, to say the least. Desperately seeking their approval for years had left the bond with them strained. And you being away from home so often definitely hadn’t helped the rockiness of it all.

"Also they seem convinced that you've met a military man and are going to come home engaged or married..."

Your face scrunched in disgust. "Oh, ew. What the fuck?"

Simon elbowed you harshly in the ribs. "We're not that bad."

"Share a bunk with Soap and come back to me on that." You snapped back. Your fellow sergeant was a snorer who regularly farted in his sleep. He was like your brother but man did you hate having to sleep in close proximity to him.

"Fair point.” He grumbled back to you. “But why are they under that impression?"

"They know I don't date civilians."

"Or anyone." One of your friends mumbled in her drink.

"Thank you.” You sent her a sarcastic smile. “So they think I'm after a man in uniform."

"Aren't you?" The same friend asked.

You closed your eyes and clenched your jaw. "In... theory."

"Not in practice though." She carried on, loving the way you were squirming.

"We know not in practice, okay? Doesn't need to be said aloud.” You spared a glance at the man beside you before adding a harsh whisper. “Especially in front of my lieutenant."

"I'm sure Simon is loving this."

"It comes with the job. Family troubles and no love life." He offered some of your words back to you from earlier, shrugging. You were glad of the support from him, even if it was only your own thoughts.

"You got any friends for her Simon? Anyone on the team you think she'd be good with?"

He shook his head. "Nah, not good enough for her."

Wait, what? Not good enough? For you? Since when did he have such a high opinion of you?

A friend of yours cooed. "That's sweet. If it helps, she's great in the sack."

You choked on the mouthful of drink you were taking, slamming your glass back down. "And how exactly would you know that?!"

"I shared a house with you in uni, babes. I remember all those guys coming out of your room with dazed smiles looking as if they'd just had the time of their life." She grinned at you slyly.

Eyes wide. Jaw dropped. Heart racing. "Oh, my god. Please shut up."

"You asked."

"I didn't need such a detailed answer!” You were ignored.

"Although you may be quite rusty at the moment. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

You covered your face with your hands. "For the love of everything that is good in this world, please be quiet."

"I'm just saying. We're all friends here, aren't we?" She laughed, mainly gesturing towards your higher up.

"He's my lieutenant!"

"Wait, Simon, are you single?"

You cut in before it could go any further. "Nope! Okay! So... sister? Baby. Parents? Delusional. What else?"

Everyone around the table chuckled at your reaction but moved on anyway, much to your relief.

"They're hoping you’re home for Christmas this year."

Your hand tightened around your drink. "I hope I'm not."

"Thought you'd say that."

Paying little attention to what your friend actually said, you mumbled to yourself. "That's fucking ridiculous of them. What the actual fuck?"

"We said the same." Mumbled loud enough for them to overhear apparently.

Simon looked confused. "What's the issue there?"

You failed to answer so someone else did for you. "They uninvited her to Christmas three years ago. Hasn't been back since."

"Why would they do that?"

"Didn't approve of her lifestyle."

He turned to you. "Your... lifestyle?"

"Murderer daughter." You bit back, bitterly.

His body tightened with tension. "You're not a murderer."

"Tell them that." You snorted. "Why do they want me home now?"

"Beats us.” Your friends said in weird unison.

"Wish they'd make their mind up over whether they want to disown me or not. It's exhausting trying to keep up."

The table laughed at that. Simon did not. But did he laugh at anything?

“I’m gonna get another drink. Want one?” He looked down at you, pointing vaguely at your almost empty glass.

“Uhh… sure. Thanks.” You smiled at him, which he obviously didn’t return. After briefly asking everyone else if they wanted anything, which they declined, he stalked off in the direction of the bar.

Once he was a few paces away, one of your friends practically launched herself halfway across the table and lowered her voice to a hushed whisper. "He's gorgeous, babes."

You decided to play coy. "You think?"

"You don't?" Her brow was raised in disbelieving accusation.

The coy act was dropped pretty quickly. "Oh, I know he is. Just didn't think you would."

"Well, I do. And he’s definitely your type, absolutely perfect for you. Plus he so likes you."

You scoffed. "No, he doesn't."

"He fancies the pants off of you!" She insisted.

You didn’t buy it. "I can guarantee that he does not."

"He can't take his eyes off you!"

"He has a staring problem." You shrugged, it was true.

"Yeah, the problem is that he can't stop staring at you."

You thought about it. Yeah, he stared at you a lot. But he stared at everything. Didn't mean he stared at you with... feelings or whatever your friends were implying. Just that he had a staring problem.

"Lieutenant Simon Riley does not like me." It was a finalised statement, one that you believed wholeheartedly.

"Open your eyes, babes. He likes you."

"Do you like him?"

Avoid answering. "Not allowed to like him. He's my lieutenant."

"That doesn't answer our question."

Shit.

"Maybe a little." You pinched your fingers together, there was no point lying to them, and shook your head. "Doesn't matter anyway."

"Why?"

"Because, say he did like me, he'd never admit it. And I'm not going to push him into anything. I'm just glad he's talking to me and accepting my attempt at us being friends." That was true. You were loving how he wasn’t completely rejecting your friendship. He maybe wasn’t embracing it but he wasn’t pushing you away either.

"That's so sad, babes."

"Cheers.” You deadpanned. “It can't happen anyway."

"Why not?"

"Relationships aren't allowed. Makes us a liability. My captain would reassign one of us as soon as he caught wind of it. And it would be me." The thought of Price reassigning you was horrid. You loved your team more than anything.

"Simon said he wouldn't let your captain reassign you."

That was true, he did. "He was joking... I think."

"I don't think he was. That man stares at you like he's ready to eat you. It's like listening to Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen in real life!"

Groan. "You watched Dirty Dancing again, didn't you?"

"Yes, but that's not the point. The point is that Simon looks at you with hungry eyes. And don't judge my love for Dirty Dancing." Two of your friends nodded in agreement with her.

"I'm not. I'm judging your favourite song choice when Love Is Strange by Mickey and Sylvia is clearly the superior song on the soundtrack." You said as you downed the last bit of your drink, thankful Simon was bringing you another one. Your mouth was dry and the initial buzz was wearing off. You’d need more alcohol if this interrogation was going to continue despite it probably not being the best idea.

"Blasphemy!” She declared before quietening herself. “Oop, we gotta be quiet now because he's coming back over. Simon!"

He froze in his tracks, a glass clasped in each large hand. "Yes?"

"Can you settle a debate for us?"

You froze too, wide-eyed. They weren't going to ask about him staring at you, were they?

"Sure...?"

You smiled at his unsure tone. Big, scary man who got shot at for a living was terrified of answering a little question.

"You've seen Dirty Dancing, yeah?"

You relaxed.

"I have."

Surprising.

"Which is a better song? Hungry Eyes or Love Is Strange?"

"Oh, I... uh-"

"Leave the poor man alone." You laughed despite being a little curious about his music taste.

"I always liked She's Like the Wind."

That shocked you to your core. "Patrick Swayze fan?"

"Used to have a mullet just like his." He placed your drink in front of you. "Here you go. You look surprised."

"I always am when you don't disappear. And when you admit to being a Patrick Swayze fan." You snorted, taking the drink from him.

"Learn to have a little faith, Sarge." He sighed as he sat down next to you again, an inch closer than before you were sure.

A burning feeling settled in your chest at the nickname. Sure, it was only a shortened version of your rank, and a common one at that, but it was something. Not sergeant. Not woman. Sarge. You decided to let it slide to see if he’d ever do it again of his own accord.

"Your name's Ghost for a reason." You sing-songed, the image of his mask flashing through your mind.

"I'll give you that. But remember, Simon here."

"Still weird."

"Still Simon."

You chewed the inside of your bottom lip before asking your next question. "Patrick Swayze?"

"He was blond."

"Like you, you mean?"

Hesitation. "Yeah."

You hummed and thought about him with a mullet. What an odd thing to admit to you. But you’d never complain. If Simon was willing to offer you little tidbits of silly information about himself, then you were going to absorb every single one and treasure them forever.

A/N: Simon with a mullet as a teen because he wanted to be Patrick Swayze when he grew up is canon to me now.

[lizzychanstuffss]

Hey! I got a prompt for you: let's say that the reader comes from a place where courting braids are a thing. Their people usually has long hair and it's tradition that someone would braid their SO's hair. Reader is hesitant to bring it up since their former partners never did it because they found it silly or too time consuming. I think Astarion would love the idea of braiding reader's hair and would probably go overboard and come up with complex braids or add decorations into the braid (feathers, beads, jewelry and all that jazz). Baby boy wants to express his creativity and is happy that you trust him with something so important to you 🥺

And if the braid comes undone, oh no what a tragedy, he's just gonna have to do it again! 😉

If it's too silly or too much of a hassle, feel free to say no tho. I just thought it would be so freaking cute ☺️

This so cute omg I need to write this.

Astarion x Tav!reader GN

set post-game so spoilers

Requests still open!

Finally, after all the adventures of mind flayers and tadpoles, you were happy to finally settle down with your lover. Astarion was happy with the predicament too, even if you also wanted to find a way for him to walk in the sun again...but he suggested you should take a break first, or else your body might start falling apart.

So you took his advice and the two of you had been taking things slow for the past few months. You two had the rest of forever to find a way for him to be in the sun again, there wasn't a real rush. So with that in mind you finally started wearing your hair down more often, it was already rather long but the length really showed now that it wasn't tied up or braided to keep it out of your face.

But there was one thing you couldn't stop thinking about. It was something that was prominent in the area you grew up in and was something you hoped you would be able to continue with whoever you ended up in a relationship with. But considering your relationship with Astarion was forged in the midst of chaos it was never really the time to bring it up to the vampire.

But tonight the man saw you looking over a book. It had instructions for several different styles of braids but all of them were too complex for you to do yourself. You hadn't even noticed that Astarion had been behind you until he placed his hands on your shoulders giving you a peck on the cheek. His eyes glanced over the page and it instantly caught his attention.

"My, my what's this?" His knuckle stroked the page inquisitively. Looking up at him you smiled.

"Ah just some braids, where I'm from there was something called a courting braids..." You trailed off a bit slightly embarrassed at the thought of it. Astarion gave your shoulder a slight squeeze urging you to continue.

"Uhm well, when two people are courting one of them will braid the other's hair...it's a bit silly saying it out loud" You look away from him as you speak only to have him gently move your chin to face him, a frown formed on his face as he spoke.

"Darling, it's not silly if it's something you care about...and frankly it sounds rather fun" He paused. "Would you like me to try one of them?"

"Well, if you want to?" You smile up at him and suddenly Astarion seems so excited. The two of you get into a more comfortable position so he could properly do your hair. He gets to work looking at the guide for the braid and twisting your hair gently into the shape on the page. Once he's finished Astarion marvels at his work quite satisfied with himself.

"Oh my I do say you look rather dashing in this style" He chuckles before grabbing two hand mirrors handing you one and he holds the other to get a good look at the intricate braid. His handiwork is honestly remarkable, must have been from his skills in embroidery  transferring over to another.

"You did a wonderful job Astarion~" You smiled as you looked at it. Turning to face Astarion, he was still rather excited by this new found talent he had discovered and it gave you an idea. "How about you do another more complex one?" Suggesting to him and his eyes seemed to light up at the prospect.

"Are you sure?" His eyes were filled with a sense of light at the prospect but he couldn't help but ask if it was really alright. He was still cautious about such things but you couldn't blame him, it’s not like though healing from trauma was a one fix all. Of course you give him an enthusiastic nod.

Then the man sets off to work trying another braid from the book, something much harder to replicate for certain. As you sit there his hands playing with your hair is a rather soothing experience, it takes a while but eventually he finishes this one. It's slightly rougher as he is still getting used to the process, but it demonstrates such skill and talent regardless.

-

Over the next weeks, Astarion continues to braid your hair. Sometimes he puts in flowers or ribbons or whatever other decorations he thinks would look nice against the color. Today he chose a more simplistic braid instead of his normally complex art pieces. But as you went about your day the braid ended up coming undone.

You were a little distraught as all his hard work became undone. Upon seeing this Astarion wasn't upset at all in fact.

"Oh dear~ such a shame I have to braid it all again" His voice was dripping with sarcasm and sass. Scoffing a bit in response to obvious tease, but then sitting in front of him.

"Alright, let me see what I can do" he smirks a bit letting the hair fall where it may and then getting started on something a bit more secure. As he works his magic looping the hair in on itself, adding a ribbon to help keep it in place.

Once he was finished he proudly showed off his work, a smile making its way across your lips as you take in his work. "You are quite skilled at this, love.” Turning to him you gave him a gentle kiss which he reciprocated in kind.