#<- at 3 am and then i fell asleep forgetting to post it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

railingsofsorrow · 7 months ago

Text

you are in love (taylor's version)

[spencer reid x reader]

SONG INSPIRATION » YOU ARE IN LOVE (TAYLOR'S VERSION) by taylor swift

summary: moments in which you realise you love him, but he has no idea.

pairing: s.reid x gn!reader

w.c: 2.4K

warnings/content: friends to lovers trope; angst because spencer is an oblivious idiot; case related discussion; fluff I promise; a whole paragraph in italics means it's a flashback.

A/N: sorry for the delay to post this I've been busy. hope you like it, have a great day <3

[part of the “taylor swift anthology”]

navi

masterpost

taylor swift anthology

criminal minds masterlist

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

❝ morning, his place

burnt toast, sunday

you keep his shirt

he keeps his word. ❞

“I thought we agreed that you were not allowed in the kitchen.”

Your voice startles Spencer for a second. He flinches while trying to pull the slight burned toast out of the toaster. Your mouth is pulled into a grin as you notice his messy curls on the top of his head, his hands working fast on turning the tap on to diminish the burning sensation on his fingers.

“I am not that terrible.” Spencer hisses, pouting at his red fingertips. “I can make breakfast... I think.”

“Without setting yourself on fire? I seriously doubt that.” You tease him, approaching his hunched frame over the sink. With a soft touch on his shoulder, you take his hand on yours and lead it towards the water. You nudge him playfully. “Thank you for this, it smells great.”

Spencer lets out a huff in protest but the corner of his lips betray him. His heartbeat as fast as a racing car as if he had been running away from someone, all because of your touch on him.

Last night was a rough one for you.

You didn't feel particularly great after a case and you completely shut down anyone who tried to talk to you. That included Spencer, but you weren't able to delay your conversation as he invited you over for a movie night, a request you could tell he needed as much as you did, and you ended up sleeping over at his place as many other times before. However, this time, it was different.

Not because you slept in one of his shirts and his smell lingered near you on the bed during the night but because you sobbed into his chest and he held you into his arms, comforting your shaky frame as his hands traveled across your back and neck with the utmost care in the world.

Although physical touch wasn't his forte, Spencer didn't seem bothered to cling to you the whole night, and his touch was more than welcomed by you. You fell asleep in his bed, in his shirt and in his hold. It was the best night sleep you've had in months.

❝ and for once, you let go

of your fears and your ghosts

one step, not much

but it said enough ❞

“You think it could work out?” You asked him one day in the middle of your chess match on your way back home. Everybody else was dozing off while the two of you remained in your own little bubble. Tired but not enough to refuse a chess game.

Spencer moved one of his pawns forward, eyes traveling up to you questioningly. “What could work out?”

“You know,” you trailed off, biting your lower lip distractedly as you thought about your next move. You were going to lose anyway, might as well make the best of it to not be a total fool in front of Spencer. He'd get pretty smug after he won and though you can admit that you found it endearing, you hated losing. “Two members on the team in a committed relationship.”

“The fraternization policy—”

“Spence, c'mon.” You give him a short laugh. “Forget the stupid fraternization policy. I want to know if you think it could work out.”

He was silent for a moment, pondering over your request and you could tell he was probably gathering as many statistics as he could to provide you an answer. Truthfully, you don't know why you had asked that. Your previous conversation had initiated because you commented that you still had not found a dress to Derek and Savannah's wedding, you had no idea why it ended up on that question. You blamed exhaustion for your poorly choice of topic.

“It depends on who you're talking about.”

You shrugged, crossing your leg over the other. “No one in particular. I was just... thinking.”

“If they manage to be professional while at work then I don't see how it would be a problem.” Spencer concludes, the corners of his lips twitching as he notices your slip. He wins the match not long after. Not that you were surprised.

“Would you do it?” You were responsible for the disturbance of silence once again, but the question has been hanging over your head since your previous conversation. What if it was... us? Would it work out? Has it ever gone through your mind like it has with mine? “Actually, don't answer that. It's none of my business, I'm just sleepy and asking dumb questions.”

“Yes.” He answered after a beat, lifting his attention from the book to you. His gaze piercing into your curious one. “If it was worth it.”

❝ you can hear it in the silence ❞

“You don't have to apologize for rambling.” You said, throwing a pillow at him after he suddenly cut himself off, blushed bright red and apologized. “I like to hear you talk. All the time.”

“All the time?” Spencer raised a questioning brow as if he didn't trust your words. You can see why, given that most of the people you know rudely interrupt him in the middle of his speech about something he's passionate about.

You nodded, your mouth slowly stretching into a soft smile. “Yes. All the time. I mean it.”

His honey brown eyes scanned you for a long minute before he resumes his explanation about why Jung's ideas seemed to make more sense than Freud's. You listened to it, chipping in every now and then with a hum or a simple question. You'd do anything to keep him speaking, Spencer's voice was calming as observing the ocean on an empty beach. It's quiet and grounding. Peaceful.

❝ one night he wakes

strange look on his face

pauses, then says

you're my best friend

and you knew what it was

he is in love ❞

At some point, you drift off with your head leaning on his shoulder. His fingers carefully brushing stray strands away from your lashes. He was always so careful with you.

“You're my best friend.” You are able to hear. You don't move. You don't breathe. The following statement makes you glad you don't, because you wouldn't act with your head but with your heart and you didn't know if that was wise at that moment. “What if I love you a little more than that?”

❝ you can hear it in the silence ❞

There is a coffee cup waiting for you on your usual place at the roundtable one morning. The logo from your favorite coffee shop and you could practically taste the drink before it was even in your mouth.

He always knew your favorite order. And it seemed like he'd rather get you coffee from a place on the other side of town before work than actually exchange words with you.

A week after you slept over at Spencer's place, it all changed too quickly. He stopped answering your texts and proceeded to avoid you as much as he could during cases. You really tried to find the reason of why that could be happening. Did you do something? Did you overwhelm him in some way? But again, how was it fair to be treated so cold by your best friend if you didn't even know what you did?

So you don't apologize. You just treat him the same way. But you don't hold onto that coldness for long, because after the evening came around and you earned a busted lip and a concussion from an Unsub, Spencer finally seems to acknowledge your presence. He doesn't leave your side for the whole time the paramedic is examining you.

“Thanks for the coffee,” you say, clenching your jaw after the paramedic finished their job. “Seems like you care for my wellbeing even if you're avoiding me.”

“Don't walk too fast. You still have a concussion.” He follows you as you walk towards the car. You turn around, too quicky for you liking cause your vision spins for a second until it focuses again. Spencer's about to say something, reprehend you, more likely, when you interrupt him with fury in your tone.

“And why do you care?” You fire at him. “It's not like you've been ignoring my entire presence for a week, is it?”

Spencer's widened eyes tell you he doesn't expect you to lash out like that.

“I- I haven't been ignoring you.” Spencer stumbles with words. Excuses. You let out a scoff, turn around and walk off to the second car Hotch would be driving. Rossi and Emily are talking amongst themselves when you enter the backseat and shut it without a second word.

Emily eyes both your figure inside the car and Spencer helplessly weighing his options of going after you or letting you go.

He decides on the latter, she observes as he retreates back to the other car where JJ, Derek and Blake are already getting ready to leave.

Upon arriving back at Quantico, the first thing you did was say your goodbyes to everyone and immediately head to grab your stuff on your desk, observing the remaining twenty manila folders for a split of second until you harshly decided on going home and finish them tomorrow.

“I am not avoiding you- Not, not on purpose.” Spencer clenches the strap of his satchel, watching you freeze as you are about to open your car door. You hadn't give it much thought when he left at the same time you did since you always parked close and he would probably ignore you again. You're tired of playing games, if he wanted to withdraw from your life without a reasonable explanation, then so be it. Well, at least for tonight. You need at least one good night sleep without Spencer Reid controlling your mind. “I'm sorry.”

You turn around quickly, not realising how close he is until both of you took a step back as if you have been burned. With pink cheeks from either the cold or embarassement, you cross your arms trying to get a grip on yourself, focusing on his shoulder rather than his eyes.

“Why are you apologising?”

Silence envelopes the two of you and you actually think he had walked away and you had been left by yourself in the parking lot without an answer. However, when you lift your gaze, you're met with soft brown eyes studying you with awe.

He doesn't look away when he realise you caught him staring. Spencer is tired of avoiding you. Avoiding this.

“I was a coward.” Spencer let out a shaky breath. “I was scared and-and that made me a coward. I never wanted to cause a rift in our friendship-”

“It's too late for that, Reid.”

Spencer flinches as if he's been slapped. You hold back your wince. You don't mean to be cruel with your words but your lack of sleep and stress from the last case were making you feel sick of interacting with another human being. Even Spencer, who you would never get tired of. Maybe his childish behavior had contributed to that.

Don't call me that. You never call me that.

He takes one step closer and then one more towards you.

“I have feelings for you.” Spencer breathes out as if he's been holding it for a while — well, he had. “I didn't know how to— I didn't want to lose you and I was terrified to do something that—” his stuttering is enough for you to see how nervous he was. You have no idea where it all came from, but there wasn't an ounce of hesitation as he confessed and his eyes glint with a newfound determination. You suck in a deep breath as he says the next words. “I love you as more... as more than a best friend.”

“You're my best friend.”

“What if I love you a little more than that?”

“... so I avoided you because I didn't want to ruin us. I... I'd rather be your friend than lose you for good. Did I ruin that too?”

What if it was... us? Would it work out?

“For an IQ of 187 you sure can be dumb sometimes.” You utter in disbelief, all of the cold of the night giving place to the warmth of a familiar feeling bumping through your chest.

Spencer gives you a puzzled look, hurt flashing through his gaze. “What?”

“Spencer,” you let out in a whisper, seeking for his hand slowly. “do you remember when I asked you if two people in the team could work out in a committed relationship?”

A frown etches into his forehead.

“Yes,” he answers carefully.

You bite back a smile, fingers raising from his arms to his shoulders until you can reach the back of his neck. Spencer is focused on your eyes, completely hypnotized.

“You told me it could work out—

“... If it was worth it.”

“... if it was worth it.” Your lips quirk up as his hands lower to fit perfectly around your waist. Your noses barely touching. Personal space becoming a an unknown language between the two of you. “Well, I happen to think this is very much worth it and it wouldn't ruin anything.”

His eyes lower to your lips for a short moment. “It wouldn't?”

“No. Mostly because I haven't exactly been discreet about it and I have no idea how you didn't realise but... I love you too, Spencer.”

His eyes snap to yours, hands tightening instinctively around your waist which made you slightly weak in your knees. “You— what? How?”

Raising a brow in amusement, you smirk, “you're asking me how I love you?”

“I—no. I don't— I just didn't... expect that.” I can see that. “You feel the same? You have feelings for me?”

Your exhale, caressing his cheek fondly. “Yes, Spencer.”

Spencer. Not Reid.

Spencer.

His gaze once again falls to your parted lips. “Then I was an idiot.”

You chuckle, nodding in agreement. “Pretty much. Yeah.”

A large grin spreads across his mouth, so wide you'd think it might split his pretty face in two. God, you missed that. You missed him. Everything about him.

❝ you are in love. . .

“Can I kiss you?”

You scoff, pulling him closer by the tie, “Finally, I thought you'd never make a move.” Then your lips crash as if you are two people starved for weeks and the only thing keeping you alive is each other.

true love. ❞

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

taglist: @lilyviolets ; @whore-for-spencer-reid; @yeonalie

#reader insert #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #the taylor swift anthology

387 notes · View notes

thesharktanksdriver · 5 months ago

Text

Specs of Stardust (platonic)

I really can’t wait to get to determination! Y/n and the straw hats so instead I thought I’d post little interactions/headcanons of some of the stuff they’d do

I swear I’m working on the Roger pov it’s just this popped into my head and sometimes switching between things in writing helps with my burnout

Masterlist for the series here

Tagged: @peachsuka28 @emptynessinmyworld @badluckinfrench @j-s-l-m @tigerfang-rage @madokamagicaa @rymtea @angstylittleb1tch @badluckinfrench @emmbny @kenkenmaaa @yunho-leeknow @chibiduck @spqce-bun @coca-cola-fiend @Koifishpoond

Luffy

The best way to describe these two in a room is that Luffy does something stupid and y/n just goes with the flow following him

The rabid golden retriever and the chill black cat

The dumbass duo, rabid dumbass and chill dumbass

Once did the impossible and shared food with y/n because they gave him a dessert Sanji made (the rest of the crew thought they were mass hallucinating)

Y/n gives him cool rocks that they find, they’ve both now made it a goal to collect a rock from every place they go

Gives y/n piggyback rides 24/7

And no one else can give y/n piggyback rides cause that’s captains privilege apparently

Occasionally when going into battle he gives y/n his straw hat to keep safe

Has semi-adopted one of y/n’s crows named Aurelius which he aptly calls Steve. Aurelius does not like him nor being called Steve

Aurelius keeps pecking at him but Luffy thinks it’s showing affection

Both throw caution to the wind about their own personal safety but if the other is hurt they will pummel someone

When he accidentally ends up in the ocean y/n jumps in after to save him forgetting they’ll sink too

Y/n acts a distraction for Sanji so Luffy can raid the fridge at 3 am

When y/n sleeps in the male quarter (they do regular switches between the female and male sleeping quarters) he has y/n tell him stories to make him go to bed easier

Likes to make y/n laugh

Likes to pinch Luffy cause they think it’s funny how he’s rubber

When Luffy says something really stupid sometimes y/n likes to write it down in a journal exclusively called “Luffy quotes”

So far some of y/n favourites are “the colour orange is named after oranges”, “if I get reincarnated I wanna be a clam”, “I am rubber and you are fat, don't you dare touch my hat” and “if you hungry, eat”

Sometimes the two of them make weird animal calls to scare Ussop

Speaking of the two, unfortunately for the rest of the crew they now have to deal with Luffy’s pranks now getting worse because y/n actually helps him plan them now

Ussop still has nightmares of when he woke up covered in bird seed and was almost taken away by the flock

As does Sanji when he realizes he’s been betrayed by y/n who’s let Luffy raid the fridge once more

Sometimes y/n likes to ask him about his childhood, they find it so oddly funny that he’s the son of Dragon, grankid of Garp, became brother of Ace and was semi-adopted by shanks

They also like to hear about it cause they always worried Ace wouldn’t find good people

Luffy whines it’s unfair y/n doesn’t fully die in water like he would before being smacked on the head by either Nami or Sanji

When having to give history exposition y/n is the only one who can dumb it down so Luffy can understand and pay attention for over 2 seconds

Sometimes will proceed to forget y/n asleep on his back and jump into battle

Even when finding out y/n is immortal has still not figured out their connection with Ace or Roger

Both like to sit on the figure head of the ship and occasionally nap there

By doing this not have fell off several times only for Zoro to save them

Luffy just kinda somehow know how y/n is feeling and y/n similarly knows how Luffy is feeling

Instead of buying Luffy stuff y/n just shares whatever they get with him since they have relatively the same taste in nick knacks

Similarly Luffy kinda just shares his stuff with them in return

The Luffy and y/n stuff pile is ever growing

Luckily Nami has not yet found out about it

Ussop on the other hand has and is joining in on the stuff pile

As does chopper

No one can really distinguish who’s stuff was who’s anymore but they don’t care

They now have an entire storyline happening with different characters

Y/n has a new journal for this exclusively for lore

Both are always hungry, while Luffy is open about it y/n isn’t

Somehow though Luffy caught onto this and now demands for for the both of them

“Shishishishi tell me another one!” Your captain says excitedly rocking back and forth as you both sit on the merrys figurehead, smiling you nod thinking of what to tell him “have I told you about the time I met a samurai?”

You jolt awake with a small groan as you lift your head off of resting in the crook of Luffy’s neck, the sounds of battle now invading your ears. “Luffy did you have to get the marines attention when I was sleeping on your back?” At hearing this the boy pauses, his extended out rubber arm hitting a marine in the face sending the guy flying back “shishi sorry”. At that you can’t help but sigh, he most definitely wasn’t.

Sitting at the table you watch as Luffy lists off the entire menu to the poor waiter, the retail worker shaking in their boots as he seemingly finishes and their gaze turns to you. “Oh, I’m fine-“ before you can finish Luffy cuts you off with a blinding grin “they’ll have the same as me!” And then you see the waiter’s hope drain even more impossibly so from their eyes.

Zoro

Mihawks reluctant kids that ended up on his island and he accidentally adopted duo

Before knowing their immortal he thought that they were mihawks secret love child or something after baratie

Bribes y/n with sword lessons if they side with him against Sanji

Sometimes the two of them switch bandana’s

When he naps sometimes y/n joins him, when this happens he makes sure to take a protective hold of them just in case of turbulent waves

Other times when he naps he’ll wake up with an umbrella set up for him

Doesn’t know it’s y/n and Chopper who put flowers in his hair when he’s knocked out and assumes it’s Sanji which leads to a yelling match

Speaking of chopper, both he and y/n like to hang off of Zoro’s arms like monkey bars and zoro uses them as weights when he’s doing push ups

When he ends up lost y/n somehow has the miraculous uncanny ability to find him

But sometimes when he gets lost y/n ends up joining him for fun

Has kept y/n from unknowingly being mauled by wild animals because for some reason they either love or hate y/n

Likes to ask them about any swordsmen they’ve met on their journeys

The one who typically has to save Luffy and y/n when they end up in water

Y/n likes to joke that he and Sanji are an old divorced couple to others on the crew much to his chagrin

Zoro’s actually pretty observant of y/n due to their instinct to shrug off injuries

Y/n calls out this hypocrisy but it doesn’t change anything

He actually really ends up liking y/n’s flock when the murder of crows occasionally stop by

The one he really connects with though is one named Acantha

She likes to perch on his scabbards and seems to almost guard them when he’s not around

Y/n once fell down the stairs and he almost had a heart attack

After this he instinctively watches to make sure they don’t fall again

When y/n has nightmares and cries in their sleep he almost always ends up waking up

It keeps him up at night

The mornings after he subtly tries to keep an eye on them to see if their ok

Y/n about to fight a one off villain and being confused they ran off without them doing anything, Zoro behind them glaring with his swords out at said villain

Whenever y/n is on look out duty he typically volunteers to do it with them or take over for them

Sometimes game stares off into space he gets their attention by flicking their forehead

Has and continues to use y/n as an arm rest since chopper is too short in comparison

Has fell asleep while doing this but is always woken up by Sanji yelling at him

Will either carry y/n slung over his shoulder or tucked between his arm and side

Y/n constantly wonders how he talks with a sword in his mouth

Or how he came up with that idea in the first place

Sometimes when they end up islands y/n buys him sword themed things, like sword polish or even a small rack to display them

In return Zoro buys y/n journaling gear since he sees them sometimes writing in a small diary and also gets them things that he notices catches their eye

….100% bought y/n the journal of Uta that needs a password and when opened loudly plays a low quality version of Genesis

He regrets this decision when he’s woken up to it at 3 am

“Y/n where are we? Luffy said he’d meet us around this time in the centre of this town” the green haired swordsman says looking around at the people who were also in the same abandoned building as the two of you. They all looked weird, one was a big muscle dude, another looked like a ninja with pink hair, a samurai, a blond dude in a tracksuit and some weirdo with a forehead tattoo. “Zoro how do we always end in situations like this?” You ask.

“I’ll teach you more sword tricks if you agree with me next time Swirly brows gets in a fight with me” he says suddenly waking up from his nap as you rested tucked between his arm, for a moment there’s silence and then you nod making him give an almost vicious grin towards the kitchen of the merry.

“So wait, you thought I was mihawks kid?” You question with an eyebrows quirked up, zoro with a bit of embarrassment nods. “Well, I assumed so since he gave you that little blade of yours” he says pointing a finger to Mihawks gift currently in its scabbard “but he just gave me a sword? How does that make you think I’m his kid?”. He gives you an impressed stare, “Mihawk does not just gift anyone anything let alone a sword plus whatever else he gave you. Doesn’t help that he acted like your damn dad afterwards” and after hearing that you let out a small “oh”.

Sanji

The seafood duo, aka the 5 michelin star chef and the kid who once boiled and ate their own boots (it was not tasty but they did it)

Since Sanji was the first strawhat encountered who knew y/n previously (the others being Chopper, Brook and Jimbe) he Was the first one to know about y/n’s immortality due to his prior experience with them

So it’s safe to say that he takes that secret to heart especially when y/n says they aren’t quiet ready to reveal themself just yet

It still felt too soon and they wanted to be treated normal for a bit longer (their words not his)

So he respects that decision even if he knows Luffy and the others wouldn’t make it a big deal

If anything Luffy would probably think it’s cool and move on

But even if that’s his opinion he swears to keep that secret until their comfortable

And he does so with the upmost respect he can and even covers for y/n sometimes

Due to knowing y/n he’s also the one who worries for them the most, especially when realizing the stories they once told on that island have become more fractured in time

Even their memory of that place is much more hazy

Like a film put over a picture, changing its focus and making it blurry

So he does his best to remind y/n, adding in the details he remembers them now forgetting as they write down the stories

Bribes y/n like Zoro to help win arguments via making them any sweet or desert of their fancy

When y/n is aimlessly pacing around deck he has them help out in the kitchen quite a bit!

Typically he has them help with preparing small things but lets them help with bigger tasks once learning they have some prior kitchen experience

At a port he got y/n an apron that matched his and he had Nami embodier it with their name

Is going insane trying to figure out y/n’s preferences because they say their literally fine with anything

Has made them go through entire taste tests and still cannot figure anything out

He’s chainsmokes more than usual after yet another failed test when y/n says they don’t mind salted black liquorice

Cries and chain smokes when y/n tells him they once boiled and ate their own boots

Almost cried when they pick up on some of his French words

Calls y/n stuff like “petite étoile” and “petite lueur”

After Alabasta y/n joking calls him “Mr. Prince” from time to time

Whenever he makes stuff for Nami and Robin he also makes some for y/n

When Luffy complains about this he always says “women and children come first”

Y/n sometimes clings to his legs, he always chuckles and lets them do so unless it’s dangerous

The only one allowed to raid the kitchen for snacks other than Chopper is y/n

Both of them abuse this privilege but he can’t resist their combined puppy eyes

Once finding out through Luffy that y/n is more hungry than they say they are he now makes them bigger portions

He swears they have a similar stomach to Luffy but he can’t be mad at them

Not when they seem to starve themself rather than tell others their hungry

Due to this he now carries small snacks just in case

Wants to meet whoever “Thatch” is so they can trade recipes and have a cook off

Also to find out through him how he feeds over 1000 people cause he has 2000 stomachs due to the combined forces of Luffy and y/n

Was at first iffy about the crows until a bunch of the birds started eating the leftover scraps he couldn’t incorporate into dishes or was going bad

So he grows to like the feathered flock since they help in not wasting anything

His favourite is one named Blanche who’s an albino crow the murder adopted as their own after finding her abandoned

She reminds him of a dove and of how he too was abandoned by a previous family but found a new one

She also delivers letters back fourth from Zeff for him

He adds a little blue ribbon tied to her leg

When staying in the boys quarters y/n often times has Sanji help them in taking care of themself properly

Mostly cause y/n would just pass out on the floor or stay up till 6 pm if not

Brushes y/n’s hair if Nami or Robin doesn’t do it

Also loves to style it via y/n’s suggestion

let’s y/n borrow his clothes when seeing that Nami had to drag them to a clothing store to actually buy them something other than the clothes they wear everyday

Sanji will never admit it but sometimes he has nightmares of when they had died and on those nights silently checks to make sure their still there

Y/n will never admit to him how many times they’ve starved to death alone on their raft

Mostly for his own peace of mind and their own

Y/n likes to buy Sanji food themed stuff like magnets, dishes and keychains

Sanji meanwhile buys them candies and other odd things he’d think y/n would like, for example Hawaiian shirts and plushies

“Petite étoile! I made you something!” Sanji yelled across the deck, looking towards him you see a Soda float on a small platter. Luffy eyes it hungrily though Sanji notices and he swiftly knocks the young captain with his leg. You giggle out a “thanks Sanj” which makes the swirly browed preen in a mixture of pride and genuine happiness.

“And that’s when…..” pausing in your story you try to think back, the details of which now seemed to escape you. Sanji clears his throat, giving you a sad smile as he then adds in for you “that’s when the musician taught you piano” at that your memory jogs slightly and you smile “and ukulele”

Sitting at the table you eye the small labeled plates with different tastes and textures, all tasted good and even if it didn’t you’d still eat it. But despite that Sanji sits across from you with a defeated look on his face, cigarette sitting numbly in his mouth. “Sanji it’s on really, I’m fine with anything” at saying this his temper seems to flare ever so slightly, something that reminds you of Zeff “you have to have some preference!”. “Well I mean…I ate my boots before. Nothing can be worse than that” once more that seemed to be the wrong thing to say as the cigarette falls from his mouth as he mutters “you what?!?”

Nami

The orange blossom pair

Is one of the first to pick up on the fact y/n might be immortal due to Arlong one day talking about a human child on the sun pirates boat before one that had betrayed them

At the time Nami wrote it off though, more horrified at the fact y/n was a pirate

It brought up a lot of memories of her childhood she does not like to reminisce on

But before joining the crew and after she tends to stick nearby y/n as a big sister presence

Not hovering over their shoulder but just far enough away to watch and make sure their ok

Especially when she wasn’t initially sure if Luffy and Zoro

To be honest Nami always wanted to be a big sister, especially since she in a way wants to make up for everything Nojiko went through due to her

So she takes to caring for y/n the best she can

Especially when seeing that y/n does not to care of themself at all

She’s plain horrified at how they walk off a broken leg, haven’t had a bath in months that wasn’t in salt water, doesn’t care for their hair and leaves stuff stuck in it, along with essentially starving themself sometimes

Nami quickly makes it a goal to change that with the efforts of Sanji

She gives y/n “discounts” when she charges the crew for stuff

The discount is actually free because she’d feel too guilty in charging a child

Along with the fact that y/n spends the pocket money she gives them on gifts for everyone but themself

Speaking of which she charges said person who got a gift with an import fee because that money the gift was purchased with was technically Nami’s

The only one who does not object to this fee is Sanji

Another fee she makes is a y/n hug fee, since as y/n’s appointed big sister she thinks y/n should be compensated for being hugged by a bunch of stinky boys

Teaches y/n about Tangerines and oranges, specifically how to grow them!

Likes to peel oranges for y/n and share them together as a snack as they ramble on about a place they’ve been

In the small garden for her fruits she lets y/n plant some hibiscus plants that y/n cryptically says reminds them of a friend they miss

Is confused as fuck how y/n seems to know almost all the islands they end up on

After finding out y/n is immortal she often asks about past navigators they’ve met and some of the most interesting places they’ve been to

Has to drag y/n to take them shopping because they insist their fine with one pair of clothes

She argues otherwise and can’t help but bristle once finding out their immortal that for years they’ve worn the same thing

It reminds her too much of her childhood, of Bellemere scraping together what she could even when the villagers gave her discounts for clothes

Buys them an entire wardrobe and complains when they borrow the other crews clothes

In reality she doesn’t mind and finds it cute

Has to fashion police y/n because they have no sense of shame and will wear the most god awful combinations of clothes

When y/n sleeps in the girls quarters Nami has their bed set up to be in the middle between her and Robin

That way if a night attack happens y/n is the most safe

And that way Nami can wake them up when their having a nightmare

Carries y/n like throwing a moneybag over her shoulder, it’s partially due to reflex and cause when she has to do this it’s typically in a shit situation

Y/n sometimes sees a small pink spark over Nami’s shoulder when she gets really excited

They haven’t told her yet though

Y/n likes to show Nami the stuff they’ve collected over the years

Especially their jewelry gifted to them

Nami from the moment of meeting the flock saw money signs (lol)

The crows have now been ordered to steal stuff and they bring it to her to examine and evaluate

They also heckle the poor news birds into giving discounts or plain for free

Besides their monetary gain she genuinely likes their presence quite a bit

They not only valiantly guard her tangerines from other less behaved animals but also help her in charting islands

Her favourite is one named Axel, he’s on the older side with a scar across his eye

He not only has an eye for valuable things but also acts as a guard for both the young fledglings and Nami

Y/n likes buying Nami jewelry and navigation gear along with sharing their writing supplies with her

Nami meanwhile buys y/n clothes and some jewelry for them

Sitting beneath the tangerine tree you watch as the hibiscus you planted for Rouge sway lightly In the breeze, your gaze lingers there before Nami lightly touches your shoulder making you jolt. “Here” she offers you a peeled tangerine with a smile, you take it popping the sweat fruit into your mouth. “How much will I owe you?” You ask enjoying the sweet taste, at that she laughs “I need a tester to make sure my product is good. Just consider it free since you’re doing me a favour”. Smiling you nod, not commenting how Sanji would be the better pick for this “job”.

“I still don’t get how you’d gone so long with no other pairs of clothes” Nami mutters whilst holding up two pairs of shirts your size “which do you like? Or do you want both?”. Looking at the clothes you point to the one held up by her left hand, the Hawaiian shirt with a funky pattern. “I knew you’d pick this one” her eyes are layered in fondness even if she gives a small sigh “I’m a creature of habit….besides Mihawk gave me those pyjamas so technically I now have more than one pair”

Waking up to from nightmare your typically used to the sight of the night sky but you awake with Nami’s worried face. Shakily you sit up, “h-hey I’m ok” it’s more said for her sake rather than your own. Despite your words Nami pulls you close, silently letting you clutch onto her like a lifeline as the scent of oranges and tangerines linger as does that small spark of pink just above her shoulder.

Ussop

The story teller duo! Aka the liar and the immortal

Honestly Ussop and y/n are a little dynamic duo of scaredy cat and unfazed who’s dragging the other into a haunted house

Except the haunted house in this case is literally every dangerous situation known to man

Poor Ussop has got it cut out for him more than usual when y/n is around

Something he notices fairly quickly

But he’s too committed in looking cool in front of them and cause he sure as hell isn’t leaving them alone for more than 15 minutes cause they’ll for sure somehow traumatize someone

Another thing he picked up on lol

There’s a Recurring joke with him and y/n when y/n remembers something important at the last minute and he yells that they have the memory of a goldfish

Though y/n’s title is the straw hats storyteller, they really like listening to Ussop’s stories

Though they knows his is fake they enjoy it better that way

Because that means there’s always a happy ending

Something that not all of their stories have

Similarly, though he sometimes gets afraid when they tell their stories, Ussop really likes listening to theirs as well

Mostly for the fact that though some of them are sad their genuinely heart touching most of the time

Y/n tells their tales in a way that captivates just about everyone around them

Something Ussop really admires

Both know and acknowledge each others skills

And sometimes the two of them will collaborate together in figuring out how to make their adventures more engaging when written down

Y/n and Ussop sometimes do commentary when watching Sanji and Zoro fight

Ussop during these commentary of the fighting matches writes down his favourite insults that he and y/n then giggle about later on

Their favourite so far is when Sanji called Zoro Durian in both appearance and smell

Ussop is the one to help y/n in their “disguises”

Aka supplying the fake moustaches

In similar fashion y/n helped make him the SogeKing mask before Water 7

Ussop has y/n test out his inventions and has them teach him new hobbies

To keep from the ever looming fear away Ussop tries to keep himself busy

Something y/n is a pro at and helps him pick up some of the hobbies they’ve learned over the years

On Sundays y/n teaches him and Robin how to do Pottery

Which helps out Sanji because of the amount of broken plates due to Luffy is uncountable

Calls y/n the first mate of the Ussop pirates

He will never admit it but when he misses Ninjin, Tamanegi and Piiman he ends up lingering near y/n cause they sometimes remind him of his old “crew”

Speaking of which y/n is the only one who he talks to about how much he sometimes misses syrup village

Specifically Kaya

Along with this he also confides to them about how he wonders if his dad would be proud of him or disappointed

It doesn’t happen often but occasionally it does really weight on him

But he trusts y/n’s judgment because they’ve met Yassop, and in the fact that they understand what it’s like to miss people

When this happens y/n also confides in Ussop about the people they miss too

Even people they don’t remember

It’s actually pretty sweet especially since on those nights the two of them just talk about how they genuinely feel

Something that is kinda rare for the two

To enhance each other’s stories the two now have started doing puppet shows!

Something they have Nami and Chopper help with in making the puppets

Ussop even made a mini stage out of popsicle sticks

Y/n uses Roger’s coat as the curtain

Ussop Is terrified of the crows especially after that time y/n and Luffy covered him in birdseed and was almost flown away by the murder

Along with superstitions he’s heard about them being bad luck

But the crows love him

Like they really love him, almost as much as chopper

It’s god damn comical watching him run away in terror meanwhile these little feathered fiends are chasing after him with puppy eyes asking for love

The only crows he likes are the baby ones

The little fledglings who (unfortunately for him) find perching on his nose to be the most optimal of places

But their cute as hell so he lets it slide

For now

This then perpetuates the cycle of them growing older and him being terrified of them but them loving him

Y/n finds it funny as hell

But he eventually comes around to them when y/n has them exchange letters between him and Kaya

As well as sending gifts and flowers back to syrup without the items getting lost or rotting

sometimes y/n and Ussop swap headscarves

Y/n likes to buy Ussop random stuff for him to use in inventions

Ussop likes to buy y/n crafts that they can do together (as well as with Chopper)

“And that’s how I, captain Ussop! Defeated the unstoppable man after 3 days of fighting with my 3000 men!” At hearing that you nod enthusiastically as Chopper chimes in about how cool that was. You smile, thinking back to those 3 whole days Roger and fought Whitebeard before recruiting Oden temporarily to the crew. “What did you do afterwards?” You ask making the long nosed sniper perk up, he thinks for a moment before he continues his “tale”.

“Uhhhh Ussop” you say watching as the sniper who currently tinkered away at some new contraption break from his concentration. “Oh hey! Whats up?” It comes out casually as he turns to look at you as you give him an almost apologetic look which makes his brows furrow. Wordlessly you point to the nearby open port window. One of your crows sits there, tilting its head at him “oh no-“ before he can get another word out it lets out a squawk and other feathered little devils start flying in through the window.

“Your dad is more proud of you than I think you know” you say this with utter confidence and it makes Ussop stumble for a moment. “Really?” He asks this in a quiet tone, almost unsure before you nod and smile “it’s all he talked about when I was on the red force. So you best believe it”

Chopper

Cherry blossom duo!

Was the second member of the crew to know about y/n’s immortality due to recognizing the picture of them with Hiriluk

Something that the little reindeer kept tucked away in a small slit in his hat Kureha added to it

So it’s safe to say that he’s ecstatic, confused and freaking out

Though luckily Sanji and y/n were able to talk with him

And to be honest Chopper gets why their scared to tell the others

He’d be scared in their situation! So he keeps the secret as best he can!

Though there were definitely a few occasions he nearly slipped up lol

As the two youngest members on board both Chopper and y/n band together quite a bit

Partially because of the fact that in mental age their close and because their both just natural sweethearts

Chopper finds it funny that despite being the oldest y/n is also one of the youngest

Both are the cutest mf’s out there that Nami 100% uses to guilt others into getting discounts

Y/n and him unfortunately for her also use the puppy eyes on her to get her to peel their tangerines

Chopper thinks of y/n as a big sibling and very much heavily admires them

Y/n similarly thinks of Chopper as a little brother and admires his medical knowledge despite his age

Both have made each other bff bracelets with little sakura charms

Sometimes when chopper gets sad about Hiriluk y/n tells chopper about their experiences with him

And that he would be proud of chopper

That Kureha is proud

And that their proud of the person Hiriluk took as his own because y/n knows chopper will become the best doctor ever

Every time this happens Chopper sobs

Similarly in the moments when y/n is lost (mostly since they don’t like being overly emotional about their feelings or trauma) Chopper likes to become kinda a therapy animal and let y/n pet his fur to calm them down

Along with that chopper also tries to have them open up about how their feeling

Y/n thinks choppers blue nose looks like a blueberry so they sometimes call him that

Chopper gets super “angry” about it (not really, the only times he’s angry at y/n is when they shrug off an injury)

Speaking of which, he gets really worried for y/n and their careless tendencies

He knows their immortal but he wishes they’d care for themself to at least show him their injuries even if their small

It reminds him of Hiriluk since he had also written off his disease and pain as nothing

The parallels between the two of them really make Chopper worried about losing someone again

Like he knows y/n would come back but having to watch someone you love die is still really traumatic

And the amount of times he’s almost had a heart attack from y/n narrowly dodging death isn’t healthy

Now is it healthy for the others either lol

When in his more deer-like form he lets y/n sit on his back! He bashfully preens in pride when they call him their loyal steed

Let’s y/n decorate his horns with little do-dads and charms

His favourite is the little sakura themed ones they bought at a spring island for him

They have done the two kids on a trench coat routine before and it’s somehow worked

The funny thing is that y/n was the legs and chopper was the upper half

Both make inside jokes about the rest of the crew

Both also occasionally goad Sanji and Zoro into fights

They watch with Luffy while eating popcorn

Talks with the flock all the time! He gossips with them and they all adore him so much

He doesn’t have a favourite and loves all of them

Especially since they all try and bring him herbs or steal him medical supplies from islands the crew dock on

The crows love to dote on him, even calling him one of their flock just like the others on the crew

It makes him happy since he gets a bit of animal companionship that he never got and the fact that the flock accepts anyone no matter their looks

He’s scared to tell the birds about how his birth family kicked him out since he knows they’ll try to get revenge

Y/n likes that through chopper that they can now understand their crows

Something in which makes the crows absolutely ecstatic about and Chopper has to regal their constant pleas for attention and to let y/n know that their adored

He tends to their little injuries and puts little bandaids on their wounds

They like to perch on his antlers and he gets supper bashful when they call him their favourite crew member beside y/n

Chopper finds it funny they call y/n their god?

It’s weird but he just assumes that cause the crows explained to him how several generations back y/n had nursed to health their injured ancestors

While y/n stays in the men’s quarter Chopper and y/n set up a little sleepover tent

Both typically fall asleep in the tent and Sanji or Zoro have to put them in their proper beds rather than sleeping on the floor

While sleepy y/n sometimes thinks chopper is a stuffed animal

Both cling to one another when tired (it’s adorable)

Y/n likes to buy Chopper Sakura themed things or medicinal herbs and books that they’d think he’d like

Chopper on the other hands buys y/n things they can do together or with the crew like puzzles or little crafts

“Ahhh!!! What happened to your arm?!?!” The young reindeer doctor practically screams as his widened eyes look at your bloody and bruised arm that’s also bent the wrong way. The rest of the crew whom you’d been trying to hide it from look to you, whoops. “Uhhhh….it was an accident?” You say this and before you can blink your being dragged to choppers medical bay, darn, you’d sneak past them next time

Sitting down on the flooring of the merry you thread your fingers through choppers soft fur. Your breathing still heavy and shaky as your mind comes down from focusing on bad memories. It takes a few minutes sitting there focusing on the sensation of his fur but eventually you find yourself of sound mind again. Tears staining your cheeks as you mumble a thanks to the doctor who nods. “A doctor has to look out for his patients in health and mind” is what he says making you smile ever so slightly.

“Hey chopper what did Rosemary tell you?” You asked looking quizzically at the Crow perched on his antlers, he looks up to bird listening as she squawks again. “She said that big crow, big lizards and Yama missed you? Who’s that?” He translates then giving you a curious look, you think for a moment then coming up with an answer “oh…she means king and the others”. He nods at the answer before then asking “who’s king? Wait! Do you know royalty?!?”

Robin

History duo, ones is a literal archeologist and the other is the ancient ass artifact

After chopper she’s the third person to know of y/n’s immortality due to watching them die with crocodile

While working with crocodile she didn’t talk to y/n directly too much but did try and look out for them in the shadows

She’s also been praying that y/n wouldn’t end up in Alabasta nor that crocodile would find them again lol

But that didn’t exactly go as planned

Once joining the crew y/n is one of the few to trust Robin partially due to their prior knowledge of her and experience with her

Both feel extreme sympathy for one another, especially once realizing they were both children hunted down by the government

Robin like with Chopper uses her abilities to tickle y/n

Robin cannot count the amount of times her ability has saved y/n without them knowing

Before Brook joined y/n would ask Robin to use her power to make arms and lift y/n up to see stuff lol

Sometimes with the sprouted arms y/n likes to play rock paper scissors with them which makes Robin laugh

Y/n eventually has Robin help in writing in their journal to remember things since they trust her perspective more than their own

Because these two both know Poneglyph’s the two gossip via notes to one another in the language

Robin when reading history books and finds something about y/n shows it to them

It’s now an inside joke between the two of them

They also make it an activity to skim through accounts of things and try to find y/n

What sad though is that in some accounts where it’s clearly y/n mentioned y/n can’t actually remember it

And for awhile y/n just gets kinda quiet and excuses themself

She does not mentioned their reddened eyes when she sees them again

But just offers them a hug

In a certain way, Robin kinda projects what she wish she had as a kid into y/n as a form of self healing

Especially after Enies lobby

She wants to be there for them

Care for them in a way she wished others had cared for her

And it’s with this that Robin becomes a mother figure to y/n

She’d tender and caring to y/n in a way that just kinda makes them instinctively cling to her presence

Her warm hugs and floral scent remind y/n distantly of their mom (or they think it does)

They know Robin isn’t her (no one can be) but Robin’s care and general warmth towards them just makes y/n really happy

Hugs galore

As well as Robin helping Nami take care of y/n since they have no self care at all

Y/n constantly steals Robin’s cowboy hat (when she had it )

Like in pre-timeskip one piece Robin calls y/n by their title of “storyteller” but also refers to them by nicknames as well

Robin loves the crows so much, she has each of them memorized by name

As well as their preferences

Her favourite though is one named Hesta, she’s a quiet one of the flock and likes watch Robin read

May or may not use her devil fruit to pet all the crows

Ussop may have freaked out when seeing the entire murder on the ship with Robin’s hands sprouted from the deck everywhere

When she has mini dates with Franky y/n dressed up as a server with a fake moustache

They also have a fake French accent because they took inspiration from Sanji

Both her and Franky have to hold back laughing cause y/n gets really into it

Y/n likes buying Robin history stuff and letting her borrow their journals to read

Robin meanwhile likes to buy y/n things she sees interested them while on an adventure

(She may or may not have stolen a few things whoops)

“Hey Robin can you help me-“ before you can finish what you’re saying the historian finds herself at your side, already helping in tying your shoelaces. She smiles, “for all the skills you’d picked up over the years I’m surprised you hadn’t learned to tie them yet” it comes out as a giggle with makes you smile bashfully “I know how tie sailor knots and stuff but I don’t think they work for boots”

“Y/n, do you want to help me write some the poneglyph’s? I want to look them over later and put what we have in order” Robin asks making you pause from tracing the forgotten language with your hands. You nod, then pulling out your journal and opening up a new page. “Sounds good to me. Should I include me and Roger’s messages?” At hearing that she nods, a curious smile on her face. “Of course.”

“What happened to you was never right, you deserved better than what the world gave you” hearing this makes her go still as the still sleeping Nami tosses and turns in her sleep. “You didn’t deserve what happened to you either. Neither of us did” when she says this you see tears glisten in moonlight as does she with your starry eyes.

Franky

Suuuuuperrrrrr Star duo!

Like a few others of the straw hats he actually met y/n in his childhood

Specifically because of the Roger pirates when they had stopped in water 7 with Oden

So it’s safe to say after everything in water 7 and Enies lobby he definitely knows y/n is immortal

Though after Franky beat up Ussop y/n kinda takes a little while to warm up to him again at

But Y/n comes around quick on Franky when seeing him help try and save Robin

And after he joins the crew y/n becomes his obligatory little helper!

Since y/n likes to be constantly doing stuff Franky has them help him do repairs on the ship and check for anything that needs to be fixed

He says he can’t fit in a lot of the smaller crevices (which he technically can’t) but normally he’d just use some invention of his

But y/n doesn’t need to know that, not when they get excited in helping

Franky 100% teaches y/n to do poses with him

Nami is half tempted to strangle him for this when y/n did the “suupppeerr” pose after a battle

Unfortunately for her dumbass number 2 (aka Luffy) joins in and then Ussop as well

Y/n in the morning likes to help style Franky’s hair, he wonder’s who Vivi is and why his hair colour reminds them of her

Y/n is also the reason why Franky’s hair is now styled occasionally like sea creatures

His favourite is when they style it as a shark or whale

He shivers each time he looks at y/n’s “ship”

Especially when they say that she’s a fine sea-craft (she not)

He just nods along

Back when he was a kid he was also equally appalled back then about it and had offered to make it better

But just like back then y/n refuse

And somehow that dinky thing always seems to end back up at the ship even when in a storm it ends up lost at sea

Y/n sits on his arm all the time, especially when he is in a muscle man pose

They think it’s funny

He thinks it’s funny when steal his sunglasses

The two of them have single-handedly increased the amount of Hawaiian shirts owned by the straw hats by about 70%

Sometimes when he misses the Franky family he talks to y/n about how they deal with leaving people they love

And y/n always talk about how they kinda deal with it

But it’s always hard

They miss a lot of people

Some of which they don’t remember but know they instinctively miss

It definitely helps him

But it also highlights to Franky just how lonely they are

Because he joined later on he hasn’t seen or heard y/n talk about some of their experiences

He’s maybe heard some from iceberg or the other straw hats but they were always vague

It’s sad to him, especially since their short friendship with him had honestly made him feel less alone in the harder segments of his life

But knowing just how many people they had said goodbye to and would say goodbye to, the years afloat on that thing they call a ship by themself

Yeah, it really weighs on him

Because he gets it

Y/n is the only one for sure who knows that Robin and Franky eventually get together (frobin for real y’all)

They don’t tell anyone cause they just kinda assumed everyone already knew and forgot it was a secret lol

Despite this though, they accidentally cover for Robin and Franky when they go out on small dates

Y/n is somehow Franky’s ultimate wingman (wingperson?)

They suggest to him things they know Robin like or would like

The two of them like to paint a pair of stars on each of Franky’s inventions

A blue 5 pointed on for Franky and a smaller 4 pointed gold one for y/n

Y/n Is the only one on the crew besides Luffy to use the Franky fridge to store stuff

Specifically the snacks the other crew members give them through the day

Franky ends up building some birdhouses on the ship for crows who stay the night along with prosthetic limbs for birds who lost legs or even their wings

He doesn’t have a particular bird he prefers over the rest

He thinks all of them are SUUPPEERRRR

They seem to like his golden chain and shiny metal nose

Much to his amusement

Sometimes a chosen bird will be allowed to wear his sunglasses and it becomes the super bird of the day

This bird for that day gets to hang around on his head and gets a invention made for them

Y/n likes to buy Franky cool gadgets they find along with anything that has blue stars

Franky doesn’t buy y/n stuff but instead makes them things, typically little do-dads or even some puzzles to keep them preoccupied

“Hey Franky, do you need some help there?” You asked watching the blue haired shipwright peel himself away from repairing the mast of the ship. He grins, “Surre thing little helper!” He then tosses you a hammer that you luckily catch.

“What do you suggest I get Robin? I’m still debating between these two” the cyborg man questions as he holds up two different bouquets of fresh flowers. You peer between the two, examining them. “Robin would probably like the second one. Those flowers have meanings of “love” “companionship” and “appreciation” which would be the best choice. She’d like the effort behind them” you say before correcting your fake moustache and dusting off any dirt of your fake waiter uniform you stole from Sanji’s days at the baratie. “Should I have Hesta fly in and deliver them?” He adds making you respond “of course!”

Two cans of Cola clink together as you and Franky sit watching the horizon. “I can only imagine Oden’s face seeing that you’re now a pirate after saying you’d never be one, oh and Tom’s” you giggle as Franky nods “do you think they’d be happy?”. For a moment you ponder “I can’t say for sure….but I think so long as your happy they’d be”

Brook

Dead duo (lol) cause they’ve both died and come back to life (though one has done this significantly more than the other)

By the time he joins y/n being a immortal ain’t a secret anymore

Even if it was his emotional breakdown when seeing them again asking if he’s finally gone fully insane before hugging them would probably proof enough that their immortal

But anyway!!

For very obvious reasons Brook for a long while after reuniting is kinda stuck at y/n’s side

Partially because he’s still unsure if this is real and afraid he’ll wake up alone again

On that ship where only the damned souls of the sea like himself stay

Y/n seems to know this though and happily allows him to stay at their side as they hold onto his coat since he’s too tall for them to comfortably hold his hand

The annual amount of death and skeleton jokes have gone up exponentially because of the two of them alone

Both Brook and y/n cope via jokes and each other (as sad as that is)

The crew can’t help but deadpan at the amount of time the two have watched something horrific or head about it and said “same” or pointed to a skeleton and said “look it’s us!”

Brook doesn’t ask his pervert questions or jokes in front of y/n he’s too mortified to do so when he basically considered them his family

He once accidentally did and y/n asked what that meant and he wanted to curl up and die (again)

Y/n brings him milk and stuff with calcium saying he needs to build up bone density

He has yet to tell them he can’t drink it but he appreciates the gesture and gives it to Sanji instead so he can use it for recipes

Brook is the only person y/n talks to about the ways in which they’ve died

Mostly because he’s the only other person who can understand what its like

And because hearing vindication that what had happened to them was wrong kinda helps them process stuff

Because they should not have died as many as they’ve had let alone in such gruesome ways

Hearing it from Brook, someone who’d also faced the horrors of death and immortality really opens their eyes

Whenever Brook plays music y/n instinctively joins him in song

It’s just second nature to y/n at this point

Both are different versions of insane from immortality. While’s brooks is more noticeable for y/n’s it’s more subtle

Y/n likes to show Brook all the instruments and songs they learned after his death

Especially their ukulele skills much to his amusement

Neither can play Binks booze together without sobbing midway

Nor can Brook handle their stories of Laboon still waiting at reverse mountain

Nor can y/n handle hearing how Brook would see visions of them and the crew in his years of isolation

The rest of the straw hats can’t handle just how depressing that all is lol

He accidentally found y/n, Chopper and Luffy in their game and now has made a soundtrack for it

When y/n stays in the men’s quarter Brook sometimes has to check their still alive because of his fear they’ll die again

Y/n has played the xylophone on Brook’s ribcage much to Nami’s horror

Both of them pull the “as the oldest people on board” card

The two of them also call each other senior citizens and try and get discounts at places via Nami’s orders

Both always get kicked out

Y/n somehow learned the word “boner” from someone and asked Brook what that meant because he was made of bones

He wanted to die a second time 💀

He was mortified after that especially when y/n then taught that word to Luffy and chopper who joined in on asking him what it meant

Robin had to help him escape the questioning

When y/n can’t see anything they like to climb Brook to get a better view

Y/n also sometimes hides in his ribcage

The two of them share an atrocious fashion sense

The only difference is that Robin and Nami help in making sure y/n doesn’t end up in a floral shirt with polka dot shorts and sandals with socks

Brook is extremely proud of y/n’s skills that they picked up from him and his crew

The crows keep bringing Brook bones because they assume all skeletons they find somehow are parts of Brook

Y/n taught them to play the xylophone on Brook

The dead musician’s favourite crow is one named “crazy Pete” because he just picks shit up and starts whacking against the nearest surface

This making him the best xylophone player of the crows as well as the best drummer

The flock also uses his ribcage as a perch as well as his Afro in which they have built a nest in that he didn’t know about until baby birds hatched

He got to name the newborns and named some of them after his old crew

Y/n likes to buy Brook skeleton things (like those plastic Halloween skeletons lol) and music sheets for him to write new music

Brook gets y/n a bunch of weird mystical shit that y/n always ends up loving

“Yohohohoho! Are you up for a duet?” The old skeleton asks as he holds up his violin, you look up from the book you were reading a smile already stretching across your face. “Do you have to ask?” You reply back as you get up and get into position, if a skeleton could smile he would.

“Yo brook!” You yell already snickering under your voice “do you think we ought to buy some trombone’s? Or maybe some Xylobone’s?”. At that he lets out his signature laugh, “maybe, but they’d cost a Skelaton! Get it? Cause we’ve both died!” For a moment there’s a pause of silence between you both before the two of you burst out into laughter. Nami grumbles under her breath about you both being “numbskulls” before realizing her mistake, the two of you laugh even harder.

In the middle of the night you and Brook sit in the crows nest, the humming the Bink’s booze filling the silence beneath the stars. Because for now that’s enough.

Jinbe

Fisher duo! Would’ve gone with sun duo because of the sun pirates but that duo name probably fits y/n and ace more

By the time Jinbe joins everyone on the crew knows so he doesn’t need to keep the secret

Something that makes him hella realized about since he knows he’d have to jump through hoops somehow trying to explain why y/n knew him prior

Is always worried for y/n especially when realizing they already have a very small impulse control that melts away when Luffy is near

Like he is getting grey hairs as Robin and Nami emphatically pat his shoulder

Y/n loves to laze about on Jinbe, they’ll just randomly go up to him raise their arms up to be picked up and then just fall asleep or stay there

Y/n likes how warm he is along with how he’ll carry them around. Plus his more squishy and smooth textured skin on account of being a fishman is a texture that they like

Jinbe has accepted his role as a resting place for y/n

Something that now also extends to Luffy, chopper and sometimes Zoro as well

When not doing his duties on the ship he likes to listen to y/n’s recounts of things

He finds it pretty soothing as well as informative

If no one else is up to listen to y/n word vomit then Jinbe always has an ear open

His favourites are ones are those including Roger

He’d never known him, just knew about bits and pieces from Whitebeard so he’s especially interested in learning about him from someone else

Y/n sometimes like to ask him about fishman culture along with facts about mermaids as well!

Especially stuff about Joyboy

Something which makes Jinbe light up in pride

Head pats galore from this fishman once he finds out that y/n melts at that type of affection

Is the first to not question how y/n has befriended so many war criminals

Though his is curious how the hell Doflamingo ended up on that list

Speaking of which when y/n gets really scared or anxious he is quick to pick up on it

Just immediately picks up y/n leaves the situation while Luffy goes to beat up what caused the problem lol

Y/n when seeing him get odd looks gives people odd looks back

Especially when people ask where their parents were and they point to Jinbe as if it were the most obvious answer in the world

Y/n once has bitten someone who was being racist

While Jinbe was proud he was not happy with the fact they resorted to Luffy type behaviour

Definitely considers Jinbe a father figure

Something he holds in high regard especially when hearing how they think so highly about Roger

Due to Jinbe being a whale shark fishman y/n bought themself and him matching whale shark plushies

He got the smaller one while y/n got the mama

Jinbe may or may not have secretly cried about this

Because Jinbe is serious most of the time y/n has made it a sport in trying to surprise him

Like suddenly jumping from the crows nest into his arms or randomly appearing out of nowhere for hugs

Even if he’s upset with their recklessness he always ends up smiling

Much like the others he ends up as a resting spot for the crows, specifically the young ones just learning to fly

They always end up tucked into his kimono somehow but he doesn’t end up minding it much

Not when the combined forces of the baby birds and y/n give him puppy eyes

His all time favourite crow though is one named Pearl, she’s just a little sweetheart that loves to sit on his hands to be pet

To be honest he finds them all rather intriguing especially since crows typically aren’t this intelligent

Like sure typically their intelligent birds but these ones seem even moreso

it seems somehow they have increased perception?

He’s not sure as to why but leaves it as a “y/n thing”

Something that has become a trend in his will for questioning things

Don’t understand it? Probably a y/n thing so move on and accept it

Nami has been following in this mindset for awhile now

Y/n steals his robes despite them being too big

He purposely leaves them out when realizing they like to do this

Jinbe is the only one to know about y/n’s time as a slave and is the only one to know why they sometimes flinch when people touch their back

He’s also the only way who’s able to understand and comfort them when they silently stream out at the sea

At ports y/n likes to go shopping with Jinbe and though he says they don’t need to buy him anything they buy him sea themed stuff to remind him of fishman island

In similar fashion despite y/n saying that he doesn’t need to buy them anything he buys them charms for their bracelets and necklaces that represent a place they’ve been so they can keep track

“So Roger really could stand toe to toe with Whitebeard?” Jinbe asks as you nod with a smile “yeah, Roger despite having no devil fruit was extraordinarily strong and had extraordinary Haki. Plus Roger was Roger”. At hearing this explanation Jinbe nods but then inquires “what do you mean by that last part?” Which makes you lightly giggle before explaining “Roger is the only person besides maybe Luffy who would sneak onto a marine base, fist fight Garp the fist, raid the kitchen and then proceed to escape back to the Oro with the stolen food, treasure and highly classified government field he thought looked cool”

“Jinbe can I go up” you ask with your hands already reaching up to him and in position to be lifted. The fishman smiles, for an immortal you really were a kid still. He smiles. “Alright, do you also want to hear about fishman island again?” It’s not even really a question when he knows your answer but he asks either way and sees you nod. Pearl who’s perched on his shoulder makes room and finds a place between you and him.

It’s late in the night when he finds you sitting on the railing of the ship, silently looking out to sea just as you did all those years ago. He leans against the railing beside you, remembering not to touch your back at this time. “You got reminded of it again?” He asks on which he receives a full nod from you, “it was in the market, there were some propaganda posters about escaped slaves. I checked to see if I was on there, I wasn’t luckily, but it still left me feeling all flighty”. He frowns at that but nods. “Do you need me to stay with you for now?” You respond quickly without thought “yes….it burns Jinbe, my back burns again but I know the brands not there”

#determination!#platonic #one piece #one piece x reader #luffy x reader #zoro x reader #sanji x reader #nami x reader #robin x reader #chopper x reader #Franky x reader #I added some Frobin in there to hehehehe #brook x reader #jinbe x reader #ussop x reader

299 notes · View notes

thecapricunt1616 · 8 months ago

Text

Lily of the Valley - (c.b. oneshot)

𝓢𝓷𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓽 (𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓑𝓣𝓒): “Yes, what is all this baby?” You asked, motioning to the roses. “Did I forget somethin? Our anniversary isn’t for another 2 months” you asked a bit nervously. Carmen wasn’t a stickler for dates, but it would break your heart if you were to forget something important. “No- no. I just…just love you- I wanted to show you, and especially after this week I know I’ve been crazy busy, and I’ve been comin’ in late and leavin’ early, and…I just wanted to show my best girl how much she means t’me” he kissed your forehead sweetly and you felt a blush creeping to your cheeks.

O/S INSPO: Lily of the Valley Soothing, calming, draws peace and tranquility, and repels negativity. Assists in empowering happiness and mental powers. Married couples should plant Lily of the Valley in their first garden to promote longevity of the marriage. POSTED DATE:03/30/2024 W/C: 4,114

A/N: FINALLY!!!! I am so sorry this took forever! This O/S is based on this adorable request from the LOML @daysofyellowroses - please check out her blog! I hope this satisfies your Carmy Proposing idea! I'm sorry it took so long i've been sick, but we’re back baby!!! Requests are opennnn y'all!

WARNINGS FOR BTC: Smut, Swearing, NO USE OF Y/N - As little physical description as possible, fluffy Carmen, OC Carmy - (He's more emotionally grown obvi hahah)

You pushed the heavy, bulging tote bags full of groceries up your arm as you walked back to Your&Carmy’s shared Condo Building. The wildflower seeds you’d thrown on the little patches of grass on your walks to the train, along the sidewalk on your block had finally started to bloom. Adorable tiny little flowers in vibrant shades of blue, pink, purple, yellow, and white peeking out over the sidewalk's edge.

Spring had most definitely sprung in Chicago by this point. Your commute whilst walking to work down Michigan Ave, passing the stunning array of tulips, had told you that fiercely every time you walked to and from the train this week on the way to work. It was finally Friday, and you couldn’t be happier.

Carmen had been so busy this week- busier than normal. You’d usually just hang out with your best friends to fill that pathetic, lonely void while grading papers and doing your own assignments- but they were busy this week too! You were convinced the universe had bound you to loneliness this week, so naturally, all you wanted to do was get home, crawl into bed, and sleep- until Carmy came in around 2 to 3 am, and get that savored 15 minutes of cuddles after his shower, before exhaustion came over you again and you fell back asleep.

You used your special key fob to get in the door of your condo’s shared building, which to your standards was very luxurious- it included amenities you’d never even thought of. You and Carmy had moved in together 3 months ago, it took a lot of convincing on your end. You and Carmy had lived on opposite ends of town, so every time you’d see eachother, (which was very often) - it would be an hour's drive that he insisted- or, him losing the battle- and allowing you to take the train back all those stops.

You weren’t particularly religious, it was more just a personal preference - that you would be at least engaged before you were to move in together. Especially before having a mortgage together. You’d told Carmy this, and he’d given you the same answer each time over the last two years he’d been begging - “Baby we know we’re in love, you know we’re eachothers forever person - we tell eachother every day! We’ve been together 3 years, Let me take care of you”

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to be taken care of- it’s just…you liked working. You loved your job, you’d went to school and earned a masters degree for Christ sake, and were currently working on your PHD. You couldn’t ever see yourself giving that up, and moving in with a boyfriend and him insisting on paying all the bills made you fear you’d fall pregnant, and then your professional life would be over.

But, Carmen had insisted to you he wasn’t interested in children unless you were. You were sure at one point you never wanted them, but you were becoming more afraid, because seeing as amazing an uncle Carmen was, how naturally kind and understanding he was of children- it brought out something in you. It was so sudden that you could imagine turning your shared library / art studio into a nursery during slow time at work.

You walked down the hall, in no rush to be home. The only presence waiting being your cat, Truffle, Carmy had insisted on the name due to his deep black fur.

You approached the door, confused as to why you were hearing…music? From your apartment? You shook the hope of Carmy being home this early away, not wanting to be dissapointed. The neighbors downstairs must be blasting that same kind of jazz instrumental Carmy listens to so loud that you heard it through the floor.

You unlock the door, and sure enough the music playing softly through the condo gets a tad louder but the first thing to catch your eye was the white and pink rose petals making a trail to the kitchen. You heard Carmy humming lightly, the sound of chopping on the cutting board.

“Bear?” You quickly nudge the door shut with your hip, not even bothering to take your shoes off and rushing down the hall into the kitchen. Sitting atop the breakfast bar, was a vase packed with beautiful pink and white roses.

He looks up from the cutting board “My favorite girl” he stops what he was doing immediately coming and taking the bags from your shoulders, setting them down before greeting you with a sweet kiss. He cupped your cheeks gently, pulling you in to him so you were flush together with his other hand.

“You used our card f’that right?” He asked softly when he pulled away. You roll your eyes a bit, he had insisted you get a shared credit card, and that you purchase everything with it- and at the end of the month, he will show you the statement, and only pay a quarter of the total, just another one of the ways he assured every financial burden of yours was eased significantly.

“Yes, what is all this baby?” You asked, motioning to the roses. “Did I forget somethin? Our anniversary isn’t for another 2 months” you asked a bit nervously. Carmen wasn’t a stickler for dates, but it would break your heart if you were to forget something important.

“No- no. I just…just love you- I wanted to show you, and especially after this week I know I’ve been crazy busy, and I’ve been comin’ in late and leavin’ early, and…I just wanted to show my best girl how much she means t’me” he kissed your forehead sweetly and you felt a blush creeping to your cheeks.

“That’s so sweet Bear. Thank you I love you, this is…no one’s ever done this- oh my god- are those balloons?” You giggled, seeing heart shaped foil balloons tied to your chair at the table and he smiled proudly.

“Mmhmm, the lady at the flower place said that - we can talk about it later. You wanna cook w’me? You can just watch if you want?” He asked, gently brushing his fingers through your hair.

“I never turn down a lesson from the best, let me go get changed real quick” you headed toward the bedroom and he stopped you by your hand pulling you back into his chest, kissing your neck with wet open mouth kisses earning a giggle that you couldn’t contain.

“Mmm- don’t go in there right now, it’s for later. I already got your pajamas right here” he said going over to the couch and grabbing your favorite pair of sweatpants and his old ‘the beef’ tshirt that to you was the most comfortable thing in the world, especially when he wore it to bed for a few nights before giving it back.

“For later huh?” You muse, taking off your heeled booties and unbuttoning your slacks before peeling them off and trading them for your soft fuzzy grey sweatpants.

“Mmhmm” he hummed in response and took your pants for you and your blouse and bra as well, bringing them to the laundry room as you put the shirt on and got your hair situated into a bun.

“What are we cooking today, chef?” You asked, heading over to the kitchen to see there were little bowls of vegetables that have been precut and you gasp happily. “Stop- are we really?” You giggled.

“I told you that it’s easy baby but you hate eggplant so ratatouille isn’t gonna be something you’re a big fan of” he chuckled. You had watched the movie with him, and told him that the ratatouille dish looked insanely delicious and that you wanted him to make it for you, but he told you your aversion to eggplant would probably turn you off the dish.

“But there isn’t eggplant” you said looking over the dishes filled with various vegetables.

“That’s right, this is princess ratatouille. I’ve been figurin’ out different vegetables w’Syd that would work for it, we finally got it right. We have zucchini and a few different squashes, and we have onion and garlic, tomato, bell pepper, everything you like. I think you’ll love it baby.” He said rubbing your back gently.

“Of course I’m gonna love it bear, I love everything we make together you have the magic touch. So what’s my job?” You asked eagerly.

“You my special sous chef, are gonna help put the veggies in and I’m gonna do the sauce” He kissed your temple gently.

“Ok! Let me get my apron” You said, happily turning to the drawer you kept your aprons in.

“Wait-” he said, holding your arm. You look back at him and he looked…nervous.”Is…something wrong?” You questioned, brows furrowed slightly in concern.

“No- no I um….i got you a new one” he said sheepishly, walking over to the island and opening up the cupboard beneath you never used.

“Oh- ok..Leveling up are we?” You joked, happily leaning against the counter.

“Jesus-” he chuckled, “Close y’r fuckin eyes- carnival psychic” he teases and you laughed, obliging and closing your eyes.

“Carnival psychic?” you asked and he came over gently putting bundle of fabric in your awaiting hands.

“I swear t’god- you went snoopin’? Open your eyes” he said. You opened your eyes, looking into your hands and seeing an apron. It was white, just like his, and folded perfectly. In thick black letters, intricately painted, ‘ Will You Marry Me? ‘ Adorned with a little red heart over the center pocket that had a square shaped bump.

You felt all of the blood leave your face, your knees feeling wobbly, your mouth gaping in to an O shape, as you stare down at the apron. “Where did you get this?” you whispered, completely awestruck.

“I-I…um…made it?” he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I- shit. Fuck- is this not how you pictured it? I’m so fuckin sorry babe- I-I thought…I dunno- like.. You wanted it private? Cause I know you said you’d never-” he’s interrupted by your lips crashing on his in a fervent wanting kiss, a mix of spit and teeth and lips and tongues, he moans softly into your mouth, squeezing your waist.

You were pressed together so firmly that the small box dug into your ribs, eventually pulling away from him with shaking hands and reaching into the pocket, pulling out the small black velvet box. You ever so carefully opened it, your breath catching in your throat when you saw the absolutely breathtaking ring.

“I-it’s not uh..not a diamond- cause I know you said-” you interrupt him

“Princesses and Queens don’t wear diamonds, they wear crystals” you finished, staring at the beautifully cut opal, at least 8 carats, banded by a intricate edwardian band… nothing short of a ring for a Goddess.

“But..But- this one…it does- it has both…because uh” he swallows thickly. “It…in my mind- when I s-saw it, it represented your soul, and your physical body.. And I liked that. Cause- y’re my diamond, but you’re also my queen, my everything, baby. Like how - how you said that…you wished your aura was opal? It is. It is, angel. And every time you look at that, I want you to remember that you’re beautiful from your diamond exterior, to your opal soul” he brushed his finger over the ring, before meeting your gaze once again.

He gently wiped the tears that were running down your cheeks freely, hot and wet and open. It was rare that Carmy genuinely used his words rather then his actions to express his love for you, so you were nothing short of savoring this. “Holy fucking shit” you laughed, shaking your head and looking down at the ring box. “Put it on my hand” you held your left hand out.

He chuckled a bit, “so… yes? You will?” he asked carefully, pulling the ring out of the box.

“Are you kidding, YES! Put this ring on my finger and fuck me dumb- this is all i’ve ever wanted, Bear, I fucking love you- and youre asking if I want you to be my husband?! I’ve wanted nothing more for two years- at least!” you shake your left hand for emphasis, a wide large grin on your face.

He carefully slid the ring over your manicured finger, and it just made you cry more how it fit perfectly. “How do you know my size?!” you asked, since most of the vintage rings he'd bought you were adjustable so it didn't matter the size of the rings he’d gotten for you before.

He chuckled a bit, “so- y’re ring…y’know the one…y’thought you lost it at Chipotle like…ahhh- 8 months ago now? In the bathroom? Y’took it off at the table, you wore it on your ring finger so I had to take my chance. You kept sayin how it was like- the only ring you’d found that fit without takin’ it to the jewler. So uh” he dug in his jeans pocket, placing your beloved vintage ring with your starsign on it in your palm.

“I got that ring, based on the size. I got it uhhh…sorry dont be offended- it’s not new… I got it at an estate sale of this lady- it was crazy- the way I came across it babe… like fate. It was when Syd and I went to New York for that interview, she literally dragged me to this sale cause she said the lady who died was said to have a bunch of vintage fur and stuff she was looking f’somethin- anyway. We met the lady’s daughter- Stella? I think it was? Doesn’t matter… but she um..said her Ma was some crazy astrology nut, also said she only wore crystals. So I took a look… that was the first box I opened. And y’ring on my pinky, it fit perfect, so I tried it on- it fit like a glove. I’m glad we don't have to size it. Asked her if it was real, she said - her Ma told ‘er some…. Like life coach? Er- astrologer life coach author? Gave it to ‘er on a trip to Jamaica in the 60’s. Told ‘er ‘this ring will someday be worn on a hand proudly as a devotion of true love’- Miss- No! Madame ! Madame Stardust. Nutty name right?” he chuckled a bit.

You smiled proudly at the ring, a devotion of true love indeed. “I think” you turned to the counter, stacking the bowls of vegetables together and putting them in the fridge as you friskily countered “you are not going in to work at all next week- wifes orders” you walked over to him, hips swaying. “And after you fuck me absolutely stupid” you grabbed his collar, pulling him in so your faces were meer inches apart “Oh- and we talk about how this mademe stardust? Confirms that our souls are indeed woven together like a fucking wicker basket” you kiss him roughly, weaving your fingers through his dirty blonde curls and tugging firmly.

He moaned into your mouth, his hands trailing down and squeezing your ass firmly. You hummed in satisfaction, leaning against him and he stumbled back, back, back, pushing the bedroom door open with a squeak. You looked up, Breaking your kiss with wide eyes.

All throughout the bedroom, were printed photos of you and Carmy throughout the years, suspended with clear wire so it was as if the photos were floating midair. You clasp your hands over your mouth, admiring all the hard work and pure thought that had went into the gesture. You looked over all the photos, three years of memories hanging before you like a gallery of love surrounding you, all of your fondest happiest memories at every flicker of your eyes.

“Carmen” you whispered, walking forward and admiring each and every photograph…

He comes behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Y’know how you said no work next week…” he said softly, kissing up your neck with wet, sexy, open mouthed kisses. “We leave Sunday… F’Cyprus” He said hotly in your ear, his breath tickling your neck causing a moan to escape your lips as he gently lifts your shirt, palming your breast gently.

“Is- is that-” you breathe out

“We’re getting a tour of Aphrodites Baths” he said softly, rolling your taught nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

“Ah- y-you remembered?” you gasped, he let out a soft deep chuckle, Kissing the corner of your mouth and gently laying you down upon the soft sheets of your shared bed.

“I’d have proposed over a year ago- when I got the fuckin’ ring if i coulda gotten us the tour sooner” he muttered into your skin, tugging off your- (his) shirt, leaving supple, gentle kisses over your stomach and up your ribs.

“Mm- are we- can we swim?” I asked hopefully.

He gently wipes your tears away, “No” he said a bit sadly, “We can dip our hands… some asshole ruined swimming for people years ago…before we met…but- we were also gonna Parga Greece, baby. We’re spending 2 days in Cyprus, then flying to Parga on a charter- we can swim, fuck, do whatever in those waters baby. Amidst the Goddess of the Underworld f’five whole days” he smirked and you gasped, as if he’d gotten you the moon on a string.

“The Acheron River?” you whisper and he nodded, gently rubbing his thumb over your lips.

“That is the sexiest thing i’ve ever heard in my life- you’re gonna make me cum in the 2nd most famous river of Hell?” you giggled and he snorts a laugh, pushing you on the bed gently.

“Fuck yeah, you little fuckin’ freak” he teased, tugging off your panties and sweatpants in one swift pull, leaving you soaked and bare before him.

You gasped at the rough action, quickly being soothed by soft, sweet kisses over your hipbones.

“I fuckin smell y’kitten fuck” he growled, kissing the inner of your thigh in the way that made you creen.

“Shit- good- right? If y’compared me to a seafood market i’d break your nose” you teased, hooking the crooks of your knees over his shoulders, shivering when he leaned in closer, his hot breath directly over your clit- his lapis blue eyes boring into yours.

“That question doesn’t deserve an answer” he grumbled hotly, spreading your folds with his fingers and admiring the wet, slick, mess in front of him. “S’fuckin pretty princess- fuckin’ prettiest pussy in the world” he nearly moaned, burrying his mouth where you needed him most, eyes fixed on yours.

You couldn’t even make a sound- a hot breathy gasp escaping your slack-jawed stance as your head flopped back on the mattress with a soft bounce. “Mmmmm shit” Carmy hummed, satisfied with your taste as if he was devouring his favorite dessert.

“F-Ffuuuckkk” you whimpered out pathetically, voice cracking and bleeding out between the fracture lines of your hot intense pleasure.

“Mmhmm-mmmhmmm” Carmy mumbled confidently against your now firm clit, tongue flicking over it at a mind-numbing pace, bringing you right to the edge and hanging you there by a single finger.

“Ahhhh-Ahhhh-Fuck!! Carmy! Oh- ohhhh!!!” You whined, spine pointing in an arch off the mattress, your hips and thighs quivering and shaking wildly as your orgasm crashed over you like hot lightning before you could even warn him, or know yourself it was so close.

“Goooood girl, thats it- mm- my good fuckin’ girl- Y’gonna be my fuckin’ wife baby? Mmm? Gonna be mine? F’rever?” He grumbled, placing a gentle kiss to your clit before placing gentle yet firm pressure over it with the pad of his tongue that made your hips buck with a mind of their own.

He chuckled slightly into your heat, the vibration causing you to whine pathetically. “Y-yes-yes-fuck i’mfuckinyoursBear-y’gonnamakemey’wife? Yeah? Gonna make me Mrs. fuckin Carmen Berzatto?” you slurred, pulling him into a messy wanting kiss, soughing at the flavor of your core coating his spit.

“Fuckin- spit in my fucking mouth- claim me” you groaned. He smiled against your lips, pulling away slightly, a thick hot string of saliva connecting the two of you.

“So fuckin dirty” he grumbled with a smirk “Open that filthy fucking mouth” he ordered, getting quiet for a moment as he gathered saliva in the front of his mouth.

You obeyed him immediately - your jaw going slack, tongue stuck out ever so slightly and eyes fluttered shut. Then- you felt it, hot, sweet, salty saliva coating your tongue, you groan at the flavor as it continues pooling over your tastebuds. “Do not fucking swallow yet- greedy girl” he tapped your chin firmly, before pulling your jaw open wider with Tthe pad of his thumb.

“Stick out that pretty little tongue” he grumbled, you obeyed with a smile, opening wide as you could, sticking your tongue out far, showing off the creamy white saliva he’d dressed your tongue in, so much it was seeping down onto your chin, threatening to coat the front and back of your throat.

“Good girl- that's my good little kitten” he purred, “How d’you want me princess?” he gently collected the excess saliva from your chin on his thumb, sucking it off his digit hotly as he awaits your response while you swallow gratefully, the taste setting your soul ablaze.

“I want you to fucking claim me, Carmy, holy fuck- use me, worship me, fuck me like a goddamn animal- whatever you fucking want- please” you begged after you’d savored the taste while you swallowed, his sky blue eyes going dark as navy slacks with lust at the admission.

“Yeah? Why not all three?” he pushed you down to the mattress by your throat, not hard enough to bruise- but hard enough for the breath to leave your lungs and your core to throb so hard you were clenching your thighs, trying to give any solace of pressure to your swollen aching clit.

“P-please” you stuttered, writhing against the mattress and he chuckled darkly.

“Are we a little needy? Mmm princess?” he pushes your knees apart with his thigh, aiding the throbbing pressure with his strong fingers, rubbing firm, slow circles into the twitching bud that made your hips snap into the mattress and head fall back to the bed, eyes rolling back with a sharp gasp of pleasure.

“Pl-please-” you gasp out, spine arching sharply as he replaced his fingers with his mouth on your clit, 2 fingers slipping inside of you with no resistance due to the fact your core was so soaked it was beginning to pool at the dip of your bum and soak the sheets. The squelching as he pumped into your g-spot mixed with your high-pitched moans and frisky growls was absolute sin.

He opens his jaw wider, tonguing your entrance wildly and nuzzling his strong nose against your clit in broad strokes, randomly flicking back and forth quickly making you squeal in pleasure as you grind against his mouth, fully out of control of your movements as if you were a puppet on a string.

“H-Hooooo-i’m cumming- oh- don’t you dare fucking stop Carmen” you growled, grabbing his curls and pullinghim further into your core. “I’m cumming- i’mcumming-holy-holyfuck-imfuuuckiing-AAAH!” your thighs and hips shake and quiver, stars of ethereal white filling your vision.

“Mmhmmm” he grumbled, coming up and sucking your nipple with his slick lips, his chin and nose soaked with your arousal, so much so his chin dripped onto your ribs.

“H-Oh-yes Bear” you whined out, head tilting to meet his gaze. “I need you- I-I need you inside- like- fuck- when you- you have my knees around your hips and y-you fuckin’- just drill me Carmy- I need that- need you deep” You reverberated wantingly, wrapping your thighs around his waist taughtly, making it easier for him to take you exactly how you wanted.

“Jesus Christ- I can’t fuckin’ stand y’baby. Y’re like a fuckin’ drug- it’s like I fuckin’ function unless I’ve had a hit” he nibbed your collarbone, quickly removing his jeans and boxers, aligning himself with your entrance.

You gave him a mischievous smile, inching your hips forward. “C’mon- I don’t give a fuck ‘bout cooking right now- fuck me absolutely dumb- then take me to Sam’s f’r chocolate chip pancakes- sure that waitress will be over the moon bout my ring” you mused, capturing our lips together, as he scoops up your shoulders and holds you chest to chest, your third of many orgasms that night building throughout every muscle.

It was going to be a long night….

#carmen berzatto #the bear fx #carmy berzatto #the bear fic #the bear hulu #carmen berzatto fanfiction #carmy berzatto fanfiction #the bear #the bear fanfiction #carmen berzatto fluff #carmy the bear #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy x reader #carmen x reader #carmen berzatto smut #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #the bear fandom #borders & banners by saradika

323 notes · View notes

surshica · 2 years ago

Text

RUMOR HAS IT..

: CL16

genre: fluff,angst? (if you squint),social media (smau) + written

warnings: translated french and korean,cussing

A/N: imma just add angst just in case i forget but if you squint maybe it’ll be there? also broken humor here i made this in the morning soo excuse any typos..not proofread btw!

synopsis: charles is in a new relationship with a runway model and fashion icon reader—all is well until a rumor comes around saying he is cheating on you with your bestie.. (fc: tingting_lai)

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc,yourbestie,lilymhe,pierregasly and 828,927 others

yourusername yacht trips with you are always wonderful <3

tagged charles_leclerc

yourbestie y’all are so cute it makes me wanna puke <3

alex_albon werent you there with them…

yourbestie yeah but that doesn’t mean i wasnt third wheeling half the time…

yourusername you literally invited your bf..

yourbestie he fell asleep 😒

arthur_leclerc …slanderous.

charles_leclerc everyday with you is a wonder day mon ange <3

liked by yourusername

pierregasly i think imma throw up

maxverstappen1 me too

landonorris me three

charles_leclerc go away.😐

f1wags beautiful as always!!

user5 check your dms bestie…

user3 drop the workout routine.

user2 okay BUT how does he bag someone like you. TELL ME THE SECRETS

user4 right the math isn’t mathing !

user1 he fr must of bribed her with like a castle in monaco or smthing

liked by yourusername

yourusername i wish 🫤 i kinda just got stuck babysitting him

charles_leclerc that’s not true and you know that…

view 67,223 comments

f1wags

liked by pierregasly,yourusername, and 30,743 others

f1wags was dmed a photo of what looks to be yourbestie and charles staring at eachother lovingly while yn is away! is this the case of playboy charles returning after years of being in a relationship with yn 👀😉🫣

user1 doesn’t yourbestie have a bf…

user6 yeah and it’s charles’ brother!!

user5 SOMETHING DOESNT FEEL RIGHT

user1 nah..she a brother hopper😭, yn and arthur deserve better

user8 idk where yall seeing the love like eye contact because i for-one do not see it!!

user9 RIGHT like it doesn’t make sense, it was yourbestie who introduced charles to yn so why would she want to get with him now when she had all those years ago to get with him? ppl making stuff up.

user8 it’s like you were reading my mind!

user10 it shouldn’t be our business too!

user3 PIERRE LIKED THIS?!:!he probably knows something we don’t…

user5 @pierregasly spill the beans mister; i know you know all the f1 gossip

user4 okay but why did yn like it too? does she know something too?

user2 yn liking this is definitely giving hot girl revenge arc!!

yourusername now wtf is this?

user13 SHE REPLIED. OMG SHE KNOWS.

user4 YN REVENGE ARC YESSS

user3 charles gonna regret he hurt this girls feelings

user9 we love a good villain arc!

user10 her replying is iconic

view 8,628 comments

yourbestie

liked by charles_leclerc,yourusername,lilymhe, arthur_leclerc,lewishamiliton and 682,167 others

yourbestie cheers to an 14 year friendship! you truly are the world to me, you are like the sister i’ve always wanted. i cherish every memory with you, i am greatful for everything you do for me! i can’t wait to see what the future leads us too~ 너무 사랑해요!! i love you so much

yourusername YOURE SO ADORABLE. :( i wish you weren’t busy so we could hang out today, 나는 당신을 더 사랑 !!! i love you more

yourbestie I KNOW IM SORRY something came up last minute but i promise to make it up to you in a girls day<3

yourusername yeah you better.

yourbestie anything for you!

yourusername @charles_leclerc take notes!

charles_leclerc you two are literally just flirting with eachother in the comments…what more do you want me to do:(

arthur_leclerc feel my pain

user3 aint no way she posted this while quiet literally fcking her bff’s bf behind her back..

user7 THIS IS SO CUTE IM SOBBING

user12 not until you find out she flirting with charles.

user9 can y’all take these negative ass comments somewhere else and just enjoy the fact ITS AN 14 YR FRIENDSHIP.

liked by yourbestie,arthur_leclerc,charles_leclerc

user13 i want what they have.

user4 brother hopper!!!😂

view 32,296 comments

yourusername just posted a story

f1wags

liked by arthur_leclerc,yourusername and 29,628 others

f1wags charles leclerc and your bestie spotted roaming around monaco ‼️ charles and your bestie were reported to go on a shopping spree and they looked very happy and giggly. reportedly they came out of cartier with two bags, both were holding a bag. maybe this a sign that these two are actually together 👀🔥

user1 no fcking way..

user3 ON THE FRIEND-VERSARY ??

user6 didn’t she tell yn she was busy..

user13 busy fcking charles..thats for sure

user5 this is more disgusting than i thought

user9 imma give them the benefit of the doubt maybe we weren’t supposed to see these photos!!

user10 we should fr respect their privacy, idc if he is cheating on her or not this is fr creepy.

user7 okay but coming out of Cartier with bags?! now i’m even more suspicious..

user11 i feel so bad for yn and arthur, the fact they liked this too. they need to find better bf and gf fr😭

yourusername 진심이야, 이거 진짜야? 🫠 seriously, is this real?

arthur_leclerc lets not get ahead of ourselves, you guys don’t know what’s going on..

user6 arthur you know what is going on between these two? and what they are doing together?

arthur_leclerc yeah, i know the plans but i don’t like that you guys are jumping to conclusions like this

yourusername 🤔

view 11,278 comments

a small pout formed onto your lips, ohone in hand screen frozen on the f1wag page. a part of you wanted to be in disbelief of what you saw. charles had told you that he something important to do and bestie name had said she was busy as well. the dots were slowly connecting as if it was a game of squares.

the thought of your boyfriend of almost two and a half years cheating on you with your best friend was not a pleasing thought, scowling at the idea of it. you were sitting down on the couch knees tucked into you, your head resting on them staring down at the phone screen. dozens of thoughts flooded your brain.

is he cheating on me? how long? does arthur know he is being cheated on? are they for sure cheating on me? they’re childhood friends i don’t think he is cheating on me! bestie name doesn’t even like charles like that! am i being played? the thoughts had flooded your brain you had completely forgotten to get ready. the vibration of your phone had broken you out of your dazed state. looking at the caller id it was him. it was charles, the words in bold “lover boy<3” had popped up with a cute picture of him. pressing the accept button you put it on speaker,

yn : hello?

lover boy<3 : mon ange! are you ready?

yn : ..uh yeah im almost ready!

lover boy<3 : okay i’ll be there to pick you up in 15 minutes~

his voice sounded deeper through the phone, a small smile formed onto your lips

yn : where did you go charlie? you’ve been out for a while..

lover boy<3 : have i? désolé chérie je devais faire quelque chose d'important, sorry honey i had to do something important why? are you worried about me? how sweet

charles had a small smirk formed on his lips, he just dropped off your bestie name at her house as he called you.

yn : who said that? no i was just curious, thats all.

yn’s smile slowly formed back to a pout. he didn’t tell her but rather just said something important, it didn’t make her feel any better.

yn : (sigh)

lover boy<3 : what’s wrong mon-

yn : 꿀 honey i’ll you back i need to go to the bathroom.

you quickly ended the call ruffling your hair taking in a deep inhale before getting up to go get ready quickly.

after rummaging through your closet you found a cute brown pleated skirt, to match with it you grabbed a white tank top and black and white cardigan with a black beret. looking at the mirror you smiled at the outfit heading to the bathroom to do some quick makeup. nothing too fancy

charles furrowed his brows at the erupted ending of the call. he didn’t think much of it shrugging it off. maybe you were just tired was a thought he had, not once did he think you found out he was with your bestie name.

you had just finished in time, charles texted you that he was outside. grabbing a small purse putting your wallet and phone in there pranced your way to the front putting on a pair of brown boots you had just bought. the walk to the car felt dreadful. the more you stepped closer more thoughts flew over your head, you were starting to convince yourself that maybe he was cheating on you with her.

you needed to shake the idea out of your head and you had to do it now, your hand was on the car door handle but you hesitated. charles noticed your hesitation, his brows furrowed some more as he leaned over to the other seat opening the door for you. “mon angé are you alright?” he watched you climb into the seat buckling up. one thing about charles, he is a person who is very expressive from the body language to the faces to the voice itself. yn looked at him placing a small peck on his cheek, “yeah im just a little tired that’s all”

charles stared you down he was trying to see if you were lying or not, “well tu sais tu peux toujours me dire n'importe quoi mon ange, si ça te dérange tellement dis le moi. you know you can always tell me anything my angel, if it bothers you so much tell me.” he tucked a piece of your hair behind your exposing your cheek that got what felt like a genuine kiss. the ride to wherever you were going was suffocating, both of you hated it. you cleared your thought brushing your hand against his free hand. “so mister charles where was this important place you went to today?” you wanted answers so you kept pushing for him to tell the truth.

charles quickly looked and you before looking back at the road, “if i tell you where i was and what i was doing it wouldn’t be a secret mon ange!” he was being very smiley, your lips formed an o shape. “why do you wanna know? are you trying to stalk me?” charles snickered his shoulders slowly bouncing up and down. you shook your head clearing your throat, “i don’t need to do that i already have someone for that..” your tone was bitterly.

you were staring out the window, you didn’t want to bare the sight of him. what if questions flew everywhere you got more upset with yourself you didn’t want them, charles noticed the shift in attitude; “mon ange seriously tell me what’s wrong,” concern laced his voice as he grabbed your hand placing mini kisses on them “, i don’t like seeing you upset. i can any questions you have just talk to me..”

a sigh escaped your lips looking at the pouty monegasque, “why were you with bestie name today? she said she was busy and you said you had an important thing to do today. are the two of you you kn—” your throat throbbed as each word managed to escape your throat, “what?” was all charles could reply with, he quickly parked the car before facing yn.

“rumor has it you were with bestie name today at a mall together..there of pictures of the two of you together charlie” his grip on your hands tightened as each word flowed out of your mouth. “chérie im not cheating on you with bestie name, i would never.” his heart broke seeing you think of all that, “okay but what was important that the two of you had to go to the mall together?” you just wanted to few reassurance.

“well..fuck i cant say it but its a surpise. you weren’t supposed to see those photos seriously, im not cheating on you when i went to the mall with her earlier. we went to go get some gifts for arthur you can even ask him mon amor!” he watched as her shoulders that were tensed up became relaxed. “oh. i’m sorry that i jumped to conclusions so fast it wa—”

charles chuckled letting go of her hand, “it’s okay mon ange. its those stupid fan accounts fault for making you think that.” he said getting out of the car to go open the door for you.

he had taken you to a nice small cafe, it wasn’t very popular but it was one of your favorites. the honey outside atmosphere was definitely to die for, the way green plants coated everywhere. the two of you sat at what was a four person table. pointing at the two empty seats charles just smiled, “two people will be joining us but they’re running a little late..”

“i didnt get to say this but you look beautiful my love” charles who grabbed your hand the table fiddling with it. “am i never beautiful to you?” you scoffed playfully—charles was taken aback from that comment “no no you’re always beautiful you just look extra beautiful!” charles justified or well he believed. “so you don’t think i’m extra beautiful whenever?” you pouted playfully. charles who was lost for words “no you are just so—you know what i mean mon amour!!” he sighed frustratedly causing you to giggle at his frustration.

“you’re so mean mon chérie~” he scrunched up his face to make it look like he was upset, “i’m not mean you are just easy to pick at!” you justified, “mean.” “no” “mean” “no” “charlie we sound like children..” “well you started it” he smirked making you roll your eyes at him. a comfortable silence fell between the two, you started to believe the other two were just not going to come at all.

“you have pretty eyes charlie” you blurted out without a care, a blush crept onto his face. he didn’t know if it was the compliment or if it was the fact you were staring at him as if he was the only thing that mattered in the world, maybe it was both. “you think so chérie?” he felt the grip of his hand that had been interlocked with yours tighten. “i don’t think so i know so” she had such loving stares it made charles weak to his knees. the stares she gives him make his heart flutter like a teenage boy seeing his school crush, he was always lost for words, he was little butter melting in your touch and stares.

the truth is, he was upset with himself finding out that you had these thoughts, these thoughts that he was cheating on you with your best friend. he wanted to get you a gift and he didn’t want to fuck it up; he believed bringing someone who you held dear to your heart and who knew you best would’ve been the right choice—he didn’t think once you would take it as him cheating on you with her bestie. it hurt him inside.

he had always wanted to show you how appreciative he was of you, he never had the time but now he does. you do so much for him and he wants to thank you for that, the states you give him; they were loving and warmly. the way you love him throughout his career taking time to visit his races it did something to him. from how you looked at him, touched him, smiled and laughed at his jokes, how you talk about him so much to family, how you make playlist about him, and even made sure he felt like he was the priority in everything—it did something for him. since the first day he met you he knew you were the one for him.

the way you made sure you’re there for him after the races and that you were okay made his heart skip beats. he had always felt like the knight in shining armor in previous relationships but with you he felt like the princess and you were the knight. he loved everything about that; it was something new to him something he never would’ve thought he would love. the small cartier box warmed in his pockets. you are always doing stuff for him he just wants to do one simple thing for you, is that too much for him to ask for? he knew he had to wait for arthur and bestie name to get here but he seriously couldn’t.

he thought any longer he waited he would spill the beans about everything, “chérie you know how much i love you right?” his lips parted as his hand slowly made his way to his pocket grabbing the small cartier box. “always know, you tell me like every hour even on the race track” you had teased a smile evident on your lips. “tu sais à quel point je t'aime mais sais-tu à quel point je t'aime ? Je te chéris tellement, j'aime tout ce que tu fais pour moi, j'aime la façon dont tu es toujours là pour moi, peu importe à quel point je fais mal sur la piste de course ou je suis contrarié. tu fais tellement pour moi, c'est vraiment comme un cadeau! you know how much i love you but do you know how much i love you? I cherish you so much, I love everything you do for me, I love how you are always there for me no matter how badly I do on the racetrack or how upset I am. you do so much for me, it's really like a gift.”

“tu es un cadeau que je dois protéger de tout ce qui arrive, je n'ai jamais été doué avec les mots mais chaque fois que tu es avec moi, je fond. tu as sur moi cet effet que je n'avais jamais ressenti auparavant dans les relations que j'avais. you are a gift that i have to protect from everything that happens, i have never been good with words but every time you are with me i melt. you have this effect on me that i have never felt before in the relationships i had.” charles titled his head to the side closing his eyes taking a deep breathe, “charlie what’s this about?” you had questioned sitting up properly instead of slouching. “just promise me something mon amour. promise me that you will be with me no matter how hard times are.” charles slowly pulled out the red velvet textured box from his pocket.

it was a small rectangular box with gold like lettering saying “cartier”. charles had placed it into your hands, “you do so much for me so the least i could do is buy a promise ring.” his voice turned soft, it was silky soft. the box on the other hand was in your grasp you were staring at it, a prominent smile rushed to your face, “charlie..” you had opened the box to see a singular gold band with jewels graves into it, “its a promise ring, a promise that i will love you endlessly.” charles held up his hand showing how he was already wearing his.

“its beautiful…charlie. i love it” you took the ring out of the box putting it on a one your right index finger, “and i promise to love you endlessly.” a blush creeped onto your cheeks, “thank you 아기. 사랑해요 baby. i love you” charles wasnt fluent i.n korean that’s for sure but he knows how to say he loves you, “i love you too mon ange.” he grabbed your hand with the ring on it placing a soft kiss, smiling to himself.

“CHARLES I TOLD YOU WAIT TILL WE GOT HERE.” you heard your bestie name’s voice boom near you, it startled you but it made you giggle. “well you two were taking too long and i got impatient…hurry up next time” he scoffed, your bestie name didn’t let that slide and she started to punch him lightly. “i hope you didn’t fuck it up. be glad i went with you to get the proper ring size!” your bestie grabbed his ear and the two started to fight.

it truly did feel like home with them, “i’m guessing he gave you the ring?” arthur said standing behind you with his hands in his pockets, “you knew?” yn looked at him your lips forming an a line. “of course i knew thats why i tried to defend them but it was no use at that point, people jump to conclusions too much” he shortened a chuckle. “yeah you’re right they do.”

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername,yourbestie,lewishamiliton, alex_albon,pierregasly,maxverstappen1 and 1,827,289 others

charles_leclerc its always rumor charles is cheating on his gf but never rumor has it that charles is still and forever madly in love with his girlfriend of two years.

user8 SEE YALL WERE WRONG ADMIT IT.

liked by charles_leclerc

user9 they’ll forever be happily in love yall are just haters!!

liked by charles_leclerc and yourbestie

user10 my cuties ㅠㅠ

user15 charles yn defender till i die.

user4 SO CUTE OMG

user1 is that a promise ring?? that’s so..i’m melting

yourusername 나는 내 아름다운 소년을 너무 사랑 !! <3 i love my beautiful boy so much

maxverstappen1 soo i dont get to yell at him for cheating on you?:(

yourusername LMAOO NO

charles_leclerc HUH WHATD I MISS MAXIE?

maxverstappen1 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

user13 get me someone who looks at me the way charles looks at yn.

liked by yourusername

pierregasly listen if charles was gonna fumble this one i would whole heartily become a homie hopper‼️

lewishamiliton agreed

charles_leclerc i know where the both of you live…

lilymhe stop i was ready to fight him after what i saw. the two of you are so cute !

charles_leclerc WHY IS EVERYONE TRYING TO FIGHT ME OR STEAL MY GF??

yourbestie okay where is my thank you? i helped you 😒

charles_leclerc do you not see these comments??

yourbestie i agree tho if you fumbled her i would’ve ended you🤷‍♀️

landonorris we need you on the grid more

view 528,298 comments

yourusername

liked by yourbestie,danielricardo,charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 926,518 others

yourusername 기다리는 자에게 좋은 일이 생긴다<3 good things happen to those who wait<3

tagged charles_leclerc,arthur_leclerc,yourbestie

arthur_leclerc SEE THEY CAME OUT GOOD!

yourusername thank you my little photographer!!

charles_leclerc i thought i was your photographer?

yourusername you were busy fighting bestie name…

yourbestie so beautiful they grow up so fast ㅠㅠ

charles_leclerc the loml truly is beautiful ❤️

liked by yourusername

comments are limited

@ surshica | rb & follow.

#- surshica ♥︎#IMAGINES 💌 ୧ ˚₊#🎐 ։ ONESHOTS · ᘞ #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #formula one #f1 instagram au #f1 x reader #f1 x you

1K notes · View notes

cheezbites · 1 year ago

Text

Dating Ghost

✎: I wrote this very late at night (4:38 am) or very early in the morning - when I was motivated by the sheer amount of notifications from my inbox, ty all sm for the love and support💕!!

♡Summary: Head cannons of dating Ghost <3

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Bf!Ghost has always been a black tea person, either he drank it alongside his breakfast or to calm him down on a rainy day. You were a coffee girl, you would go all out making them - milk, hazelnut syrups, whipped creams… You name it. And from this, another one of your childish inside jokes was born. You were conveniently in the kitchen at the same time as him, making your morning beverages.

“Hm,” you silently thought to yourself, contemplating if your idea was rational enough to act through with.

“Hmmmmm,” he jokingly imitated you, wondering what was on your mind.

You got a separate cup and mixed some of his tea with your coffee. You took the first sip and scorned your face at the unfamiliar yet vaguely distinguishable taste.

Soon he followed, not seeming to be too fond of it at first yet still drinking every last bit.

“Not too bad,” he silently muttered.

And every time you guys were in the kitchen making your daily beverages, the ‘CoTea’ (Coffee and Tea) inside joke was repeatedly brought up.

Bf!Ghost heard a sudden shriek from your bedroom, causing his heart to sink. His thoughts raced faster than the speed of how fast he was approaching your room, desperate to know what it was. What if it was an invader? He wouldn’t be able to live knowing that he wasn’t fast enough to save you from a serious threat, he’d hate himself and feel guilty every single day.

His breathing pattern returned to normal as he sighed in relief when he realised that it was just a spider on your bedroom wall.

“Shit,”

“It’s going to kill me!” You sputtered inattentively as you backed away as far as possible from the ‘murderous pest.’

He stacked a mount of tissues in his hand and effortlessly scooped it up, crushed it into remains of spider limbs and a brown fluid before tossing it in the bin. Shooting you a look that you swore said: ‘Seriously? All that commotion over that?”

“My saviour,” you quipped as you ran up to him and braced him in a tight hug.

Bf!Ghost was used to receiving the “Your eyelashes are so long!” ‘compliment’ from people, mainly from you. It always confused him as to why you pointed it out - maybe it was just a ‘girl thing’ he didn’t understand.

Bf!Ghost was sleep-deprived, sick and unwillingly glued to his bed after days of working, so you took care of him. (At night, when he was complaining about being too cold, you snuggled up next to him and fell asleep in his arms. Maybe he was faking it as an excuse to cuddle you, maybe…) You knew he had an energy drink addiction and some bad eating habits. Since quality meals require time, you poured that time into cooking for him. His gratitude toward you was beyond words, appreciating the care and effort you put into taking care of him. Your cooking not only filled his stomach but also warmed his heart, making every bite a taste of your love.

Bf!Ghost worked out often; so did you. You enjoyed each other's company at the gym, immersing yourselves in the shared playlist and the post-workout rush. His concern for you couldn't be contained. During some weekly sessions, he taught you self-defence techniques, a thoughtful gesture for times he couldn't be by your side.

Bf!Ghost loved making you say ‘please’, even after the smallest of favours. You tried to open your water bottle, but the lid seemed super glued on, you tried repeatedly but your attempts were in vain. You asked him to help you, forgetting one thing:

“Want me to feed you the water as well?” He sarcastically quipped with a shit-eating grin.

“Oh come on babe,”

“And what’s the magic word?” He asked expectedly.

“Please,” you stretched out your ‘please’ jokingly for the sole purpose of teasing him.

He seamlessly removed the lid which astonished you before handing you your water bottle. After all that effort and failed attempts, he made it look so easy.

Bf!Ghost Loathed being away from you; and you felt the exact same way. When he needed to leave or when you were gone, he would try to do things that reminded him of you. When you were teaching him how to cook your signature meals in the kitchen, he was picking up rapidly, improving and learning - soon enough he surpassed you in culinary skills. He remade your recipes to remind himself of you when you weren’t there, and you ‘borrowed’ a few of his hoodies, which were pleasantly engulfed in his scent.

Bf!Ghost Noticed you fell asleep during the horror movie you watched, the last thing he wanted to do was startle you or wake you up. He turned off the TV before heading to your room and placing your favourite blanket over you. He kissed your cheek gently and muttered a silent, “I love you.” Before calling it a night.

Bf!Ghost left wholesome notes for you to discover around the house; the messages were cheesy in the cutest way possible. Either him making you food after a long day of work and leaving it for you in the fridge with a brief note next to it, or a corny compliment stuck on the bathroom mirror for only you to see. It would be something along the lines of:

“Start your day off with a smile love, like the one you never fail to give me♡” (And I feel like this dude would have very messy handwriting, but when writing these notes he tried his best).

Bf!Ghost made most of the decisions in the relationship, you were very indecisive. This is probably the only thing he mildly dislikes about you - you were going through the trials and tribulations of a lifetime over picking between KFC and McDonald’s, you were persistent about what to order too, so he recommended stuff to you or sometimes ordered for you.

(I just know if you both got drinks, he specifically requested only one straw so you guys could share it).

Bf!Ghost was the “‘Scuse me, she asked for no pickles,” boyfriend, who would secure you a refund and a newly made burger, (mainly due to how intimating he gets at times).

You thoroughly enjoyed him looking out for you, though, knowing that he cared that much about you made your heart flutter only from thinking about it.

PART TWO IS OUT!!! <3

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥—————————

König Version

Price Version

Gaz Version

Soap Version

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥—————————

Masterlist

893 notes · View notes

sanskari-kanya · 4 months ago

Text

Guess who got 30/30 on her finals’ viva 😭💃

It was the biggest adventure of my goddamn life.

The viva was scheduled at 3 pm today so I was pretty chill. I was like okay I’ll do the hardest ones till late night, grab some good sleep and wake up a little early to revise the rest.

But my university sent a mail at 10:30 pm, saying ✨surprise motherfuckers, the time is changed to 9:30 am, all the best insufferable freshers✨

Post this mail, I had made peace in accepting that I aint gonna get any sleep tonight and I had to revise 4 subjects till 8 am (minus 30 minutes to get my boogie ass ready because I will never enter the uni looking like crap and 30 more minutes to reach the university)

I started studying around 12 am because all we did was cuss the fuck out of the university and exam managers for a bloody 1.5 hours.

Considering my attention span, my study session lasted for approximately 15 minutes before I opened Pinterest and keep scrolling mindlessly until it was suddenly 2 am 🤩. Then I went for a mindless walk around the hostel, disturbed my bf for a good 15 minutes, and realised he wasn’t giving me any attention because he actually studies and uski fati padi thi so I came back in my room and re-started studying. It continued till 5 am (paired with stress eating, gossiping, watching a documentary)

THEN, I ACCIDENTALLY FELL ASLEEP AT 5 AM AND WOKE UP AT 8 AM!?!? I had to leave at 9 am so there was no bloody chance of revising Histology and Radiology that I very confidently left for the morning 🤗 I left the house at 9 and kept a ppt of histological slides open on my phone so I could at least revise SOMETHING.

If this drama was not enough, here is more :

Me and my friend had decided to pair up for the viva but some dude mishandled the list and jumbled the numbers and I had to beg my classmate to go with a random dude so me and bestie could go tgt.

As I was about to enter the viva room, a physical fight broke pit between two students and my examiner walked out to stop the fight and never returned.

I confidently wrong answered a sub question and made the doctor believe that I was right cus I answered everything else too. 10 in Anatomy ✅

Manually picked the harder examiner for Histology because bestie shat in anatomy so I wanted her to score in Histology with the easier examiner. My reactions to the first two questions- ✨ma’am I don’t know✨ and she was glaring me so bad I cannot explain y’all but then by god’s grace, she asked me more questions (redemption arc) that I answered but she gave me 7.5 so I was like okay, I did shit in the beginning so-

Next was physiology and if y’all weren’t aware of my bad reputation with the professor (George), well now you are 🤗 But then I again had a choice to choose my examiner and I chose my favourite teacher from last semester and George was like ✨why are you not sitting with me huh✨ in the most sarcastic tone ever like i would ever voluntarily chose you , kind sir.

End result, I scored full in physiology too which just proves that my physiology wasn’t a problem, George was the problem!

Last was Radiology. I was scared for my life since I slept and didn’t revise radiology AT ALL. But the examiner was impressed by my marks and gave me 2.5 🙂‍↕️

Now if that still wasn’t enough adventure for you, let me introduce you to my bad math skills. 7.5 in Histology + 2.5 in radiology makes 10 which meant I had scored 30/30 but my dumbass forgot math and thought I scored only 27.5 and went out a little sad.

Then a senior dude asked me how was it and I was like ‘Accha tha bas muje ek baat bata histology ke liye maximum kitna hota hai?’ And he was 7.5 and then it hit me ‘Oh bhaiii fir toh muje full mile hai’ 😭😭😭

I’m never forgetting this day. I narrated this entire thing to my mom twice, once to bf, a 30 min voice note to @hum-suffer and now on tumblr.

#desiblr #medblr #desi memes #istg the dude started laughing when my math skills were revealed 😍#Im not really proud of myself cuz a lot of people scored full ao it doesn’t fell special to me anymore tho #Kanya in med school #thanks krishna im never forgettinf how i was about to shit my pants but you helped 😗#krishna and kanya

111 notes · View notes

oneofnanamisgirls · 3 months ago

Text

Toji Fushiguro Pt.3

——————————————

synopsis: texting toji after shiu woke you up from the job and toji comes over

——————————————

cw: ed/disordered eating mentioned, cursing, and honestly i can’t remember (sorry).

——————————————

A/N: heyy, sorry this took so long to post. i’ve been soo busy with schoolwork lately. likes/comments/reblogs are always appreciated <33

——————————————

your thumb hovers over the call button, debating whether or not to call him. would it be weird to call him this late?

you hear your brother shut the door of his bedroom. he would be going to sleep, he is a heavy sleeper.

you click the call button and wait.

"mphello." toji's voice was muffled.

"god, you really need to stop talking with your mouth full." you roll your eyes at him.

"how is it my fault you decide to call me as i am stuffing my face?" his voice was clear this time.

"i was debating if i actually wanted to call you or not."

"yeah and what's so wrong with talking to me?" you can hear the annoyance in his voice.

"stop being so defensive." you want to yell at him, but you whisper it out instead.

"you won't wake him up, he sleeps like a damn mummy." you laugh at his joke, knowing its true.

"that's true. what are you eating?" you ask curiously, remembering that you fell asleep before having dinner earlier.

"some leftover takeout from earlier. let me guess what you had, that pasta that you always make? with the orangey sauce." he asks, knowing that the pasta dish is his favorite and he is looking to score some.

"actually i passed out before eating earlier." you tell him as you put the phone on speaker and turn to lay on your side.

"you do that a lot." he mentions.

"i didn't realize you pay that much attention to me." you chuckle.

"aside from shiu, you are the only other person i see often."

"i take it as a compliment." you smirk to yourself.

"it wasn't, you shouldn't do that." he isn't entertaining the idea of it being a compliment.

"i mean that you pay attention to me." you defend.

"yeah i got that, but you have to eat. especially after a night like last night." he tells you. you can hear shuffling around from his end of the phone.

"forgetting to eat because i was asleep is not the end of the world toji. it was an honest mistake." you shift to the other side.

"it's been more than once. you think i don't realize? when shiu and i have late nights into the morning and you ask him to bring home food because you wake up starving?" he sounds mad.

"why are you lecturing me on this? i'm not doing it on purpose. i don't get why you are so mad over this." you speak defensively.

"i know about the shit from when you were a teenager y/n, i'm not dumb." he states as you hear the door locking through the phone.

"that was years ago toji. i was sick back then. you need to relax about this. i'm not doing it on purpose. i told you that. shiu knows." you explain yourself to him.

"bullshit." he scoffs as you hear an engine rumble in the background.

"where are you going?" you ask him.

"for a drive." he says coldly.

"i miss when you were being nice to me." you sigh.

"whatever, bye." the phone disconnects and you scoff at his ignorance. you should have known that he would flip to being a dick.

you realize that you didn't even shower either, and the warm water is just what you need. when looking for apartments, shiu insisted on both rooms having their own bathroom. you shut the bathroom down and have your shower.

the hot water made you feel better. you dry yourself off with the towel before wrapping it around your body.

"jesus christ!" you shout, noticing toji on your bed. "what the hell are you doing here?"

"brought you some food." he says nudging toward the bag on your desk.

"get out!" you point toward the door.

"not until you have dinner. what the hell is your problem?" he rolls his eyes.

"my problem is you invite yourself into my room without even telling me! i am also in a towel for gods sake."

"what are you embarrassed? its a towel, not like you are butt ass naked."

"seriously get out of my room!" you tell him again.

"fine." he waltzes out, shutting the door behind him.

he has some nerve, showing up unannounced. with frustration, you put clothes on without a care. you pause in the middle of pulling your pajama pants on when you realize you forgot to put lotion on. you groan out before sitting at the edge of your bed to apply the lotion to your legs.

you open the door, signaling to toji that you are finished and he can return. you apply your moisturizer in front of the mirror atop your dresser. toji makes himself comfortable at your desk chair.

"i'm surprised you even own clothes as skimpy as what you wore the other night. around here you always wear such baggy stuff." he states.

"can you just stop talking?" you're annoyed.

"look, i'm sorry for scaring you earlier and being a dick. you gotta realize that you and shiu are basically all i have. don't want anything happening to either of you." he tells you with little emotion in his voice.

"it's fine, but i don't need you to act like a parent to me. that stuff with the eating was almost a decade ago. i was really sick. i'm good now." you explain to him.

"i know, i'm sorry."

"did you just apologize to me? i swear i am still asleep. pinch me." you stick your arm out to him.

"haha very funny." he isn't amused. he takes a box from the bag he brought in and hands it to you. it was some plain noodles.

you thank him as he hands you a fork. he lets you sit in the chair to eat. you notice from the corner of your eye that he is looking at the stuff in your room. you let him browse the decor and the other things that decorate your room. you weren't embarrassed by anything, not even the stuffed bear on your bed. you were too mesmerized by the food. until you hear him start opening up drawers.

"get your filthy, greedy hands out of my drawers." you state, not even turning around to him.

"what? you got something you think i might find?" he asks, taunting you.

"no, it's rude to look through people's things." you say to him, taking your last bite.

"don't act so surprised by it then, especially from me." he tells you, truthfully. he isn't always this nice, if you could even say that.

"have some manners fushiguro." you treat him like a kid.

"back to the last names i see. ten years of knowing you and we are back to square one." he sits at the edge of your bed, manspreading of course.

"what did i say about manners?" you question rhetorically walking to him. you push his knees closed a bit. he looks up at you with his eyes, almost daring you to touch him again. "keep dreaming."

"you are the one dreaming." he uses your words back at him.

"why are you still here? you fed me, therefore you know i'm not sick." you cross your arms against your chest.

"we are both awake, might as well hang out." he shrugs his shoulders.

"god if we are actually hanging out, let me take a cigarette from shiu first." you playfully tease.

"i'm not that bad." he tries. "plus you don't smoke."

"not in front of you." you push your arms closer to your body.

"liar." he pokes.

you walk out of your room, grab a cigarette from the box that is tossed on the kitchen counter aside shiu's keys. you take the lighter from the box before walking to the door of the apartment. toji follows you outside, where you look out over the railing. you walk to the area farther away from the other apartments, finding yourself in your favorite corner of the balcony.

you sit on the stool that someone left when they moved out. the area you live in is a nicer area, but it's still in the city. as you take your first drag, toji waits for you to start coughing. when you don't, he raises an eyebrow.

"told you." you blow the smoke away from him.

"i guess we are just learning more about each other today." he leans against the railing next to you. you look around for the outside cat that always comes to your lap.

"hi sweet girl." you coo as the white cat, you have named edie, jumps into your lap.

"crazy cat lady." toji chuckles.

"her name is edie." you pet her and release your fist, letting her take the treat out of you palm.

"why don't you bring it inside?" he asks, receiving a glare from you.

"she is an outside cat, she has always been. i feed her everyday and got a little house for her where she sleeps. i tried bringing her in, but she kept wanting to go back outside." you tell him and then taking another drag. you pet edie with your empty hand, remembering that you have to give her some flea medicine soon.

toji can't help but admire your softness with the cat. he knows you are always soft with things that are precious to you. he is almost jealous of the way you are soft with a stray cat, you were never soft with him.

edie jumps off your lap and runs off to the stairs. you drop the cigarette butt on the ground, letting toji step on it. the sun begins to rise in the distance, you should try to get some rest.

"you look tired." toji notices.

"getting there." you lean your head back against the corner column. the tiredness hits you like a ton of bricks.

he offers a hand to pull you up from the stool. you stumble to your feet, clutching to his tee shirt in fear of falling. your head falls into his chest, you're unsure about the proximity. you were never this close up to him.

"sorry." you stumble back, he was unbothered. you slowly shift your feet back to the apartment, ready to brush your teeth and go to sleep for a few more hours.

you mumble a goodnight to toji, as he gets himself comfortable on the large couch in the living room. you don't wait for a response.

——————————————

taglist: @en-happiness

#jjk #jjk smau #jjk texts #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #toji smau #jjk x you #jjk fanfic #jjk toji #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #toji fluff #jujutsu kaisen toji #toji fushigro x reader #toji x you #✿~icy~luvs~u~✿#✿~icy~✿#✿~icy~writes~✿

136 notes · View notes

staytheword · 2 years ago

Text

falling rain

falling rain — one shot [ back to general masterlist ]

this series (and this blog) are 18+ !! minors, please do not interact!!

• bang chan x female reader, other stray kids members are mentioned/featured, as well as other idols (itzy’s yeji, ateez’s san, nmixx's lily).

• non idol au, friends to lovers. angst, fluff, post breakup sadness and melancholia. drinking. explicit language. smut, oral sex (f receiving), protected sex.

• word count: 11k (11,199)

You fell out of love. It happens. All you need is time to piece yourself back together. But as you and your friends meet for a movie night, you don’t expect your ex to be there - yet he is, and it looks like he’s doing much better than you do. Luckily, your friends are there for you - especially Chan.

• permanent taglist: @ughbehavior ; @upallnight-s ; @changbinluvr ; @rosexjimin ; @nasiaisan

• story taglist: @tanyas97 ; @hyynee ; @moonlightcandy00 ; @drhsthl ; @flakeisthebest

• author’s note: Here it is! Thank you for your support on the preview, I am so glad you guys liked it and were excited for the full story. I hope you enjoy it! Take care <3

The rain is cold against your skin.

You look up at the sky through your transparent umbrella. Swirls of pale gray cover the horizon, blurred by drops of rain sliding down the plastic material. It was darker earlier - the rain will stop soon.

The bus stops in front of you, its brakes squeaking. You close your umbrella and get on, sitting where you usually do, at the back, next to the window. Placed between your legs, your umbrella is getting your jeans wet, but you don’t care. You close your eyes, letting the music in your ears soothe you. You’ve been taking the same bus route everyday for years, so you know exactly how much time you have before your stop. It’s not like you’re afraid of falling asleep, anyway. You never sleep in transportation, and it’s not like your mind has been able to rest easy recently.

Your playlist transports you through melancholic melodies, pianos and violins lulling your senses. Your favorite songs do not let you forget the ache - they remind you of it, softly, tenderly. That’s what you want, anyway.

You’re not interested in forgetting. You just want to heal.

When you open your eyes, your stop is a minute away. You press the button and get up, ignoring the inevitable looks of the other passengers on the bus. People are always staring. Always judging. Often, you care. These days, not so much. You can’t control them, what they do, what they think. They’ll see the shadows under your eyes, the pale skin, the chapped lips, and they’ll tell yourselves, she isn’t sleeping much. She looks terrible. She must be going through something.

So what if I am, you want to tell them? Aren’t we all?

When you step off the bus, it’s barely raining anymore and you decide not to open your umbrella. You let the rain slide through your hair, against your hands. You’re so cold but you’re used to it. You haven’t been able to warm up in a while. The rain feels good, actually. It makes you aware of your body, of your skin. As you walk towards your apartment building, you tilt your head backwards and let the rain fall down your cheeks like tears.

Daylight has almost vanished when you unlock your apartment door, and you step inside with a sigh. You’ve grown to hate this place so much, but there is nowhere else to go. You should look for another apartment, but moving seems like an insurmountable amount of shit to go through and you just don’t have the energy. Maybe in a few weeks. Maybe in a few months. Maybe.

You start by taking a shower, the boiling hot water contrasting with your icy cold skin. You wash your hair, apply lotion. Your movements are slow but you get there eventually. Wrapped in your bathrobe, you open your closet and stare at your clothes. It’s not that you hate them, you just have no idea what to choose. You’re not going someplace fancy, so you end up slipping on a simple pair of jeans and a warm sweater.

You should probably eat something, but your stomach is in a tight knot. There will be food at Yeji’s place, anyway.

As you check your phone and realize you still have some time before you have to leave, you let out a long sigh and sit on your bed. You’re not sure you really want to go, but your friends organized this movie night a while ago and they are excited for it. Yeji’s place is perfect for it - she has a projector, which allows the movies to play as wide as the wall. Everyone has been tasked to bring their favorite snacks and drinks. It’s going to be a chill night, and you’ll be happy to see your friends, but everything feels exhausting.

You promised you were going to be there. So you will go.

It’s not like they will bother you, anyway. They all know you pretty well, although some more than others, but they are all aware of what is going on with you. No secrets to have. Still you don’t want to be a bore, and you know you’ll do your best to smile throughout. It’s not that they want you to - but you’ll still do it. It’s just who you are.

At least he won’t be there. Yeji said he wouldn’t - had plans already, apparently. It would be okay if your ex was there - actually, you’ve seen him a couple of times already since your breakup. But you need to be in the right mindset - and today you aren’t, so it’s good he’ll be absent.

You let out a long sigh and stand up to dry your hair.

You apply simple makeup, a bit of eyeliner, some mascara. You put on your favorite necklace. You decide to wear perfume. Little things to make you feel better, like you aren’t crippled inside, like you don’t have a decaying organ in your chest. It’s recent, that you’re able to do that. A week ago you would’ve showed up in sweatpants and messy hair.

Little steps.

As you grab a tote bag to fill it with the snacks you bought yesterday, you get a text from Yeji.

Everything okay?

Come anytime <3

She’s checking up on you and you’re grateful for it. Not a lot of people do, not even your closest friends. You don’t blame them - you haven’t been good company and sometimes it’s hard to find the right words. Some of them have been anxious that your breakup with San will mess up their friend group, and in fear of seeming like they’re taking sides, they just decided not to say anything. They take care of you differently - but sometimes you hate that they can’t talk about it with you.

Yeji doesn’t do that. She’s been there for you at every step - and it’s not because she blames or dislikes San. It’s just different for you and her, because your friendship not only goes way back when your friend group got together, but also way beyond.

Leaving in 5, you text back, and she sends a heart emoji.

Once you’re ready, you slip on your jacket and stare at your reflection in the hallway mirror. You look your normal self, except for the obvious exhaustion on your face, and the slightly vacant look in your eyes.

You can do this.

You won’t let your stupid, broken heart define you or your life.

When you get to Yeji’s, she pulls you into a tight hug. A few people are already there - Jeongin is already snacking on a huge bowl of popcorn, talking to Lily, who’s on her phone scrolling down Pinterest boards. Changbin and his girlfriend, the newest addition to your friend group, are bundled up under a blanket on the couch and wave at you.

You follow Yeji to the kitchen, putting the cans of soda you brought in the fridge, adding your snacks to the pile on the counter.

“You look really pretty,” Yeji tells you with a smile. “Is that the sweater we got together the other day?”

“Yeah,” you nod. “I’m still not sure about the color, though.”

“No, it suits you. I promise.”

You give her a sincere smile as she empties a bag of potato chips in a bowl. It’s quiet in the apartment, but you know it won’t last very long - except for Changbin, the loudest people have yet to arrive.

“How was work today?” Yeji asks.

“Fine,” you shrug. “Boring.”

She gives you a long look.

“You know you don’t have to stay there, right? You can find something else. With your skills it would be easy -”

“I know, Yeji,” you say in a low voice. “But not right now.”

You play with your nail polish, chipping a small piece from your thumb.

“Right now boring is good,” you nod, your voice a little more firm. “When I can focus more, I’ll look for something else. Promise.”

She smiles, taking your hand to give it a squeeze. “I just don’t want you to waste away where you don’t belong. You’re worth so much more.”

“I appreciate it.”

You put your head on her shoulder for a second as Jeongin’s laugh resonates through the apartment. It’s a sweet and familiar sound, and you start to believe it was a good idea to come.

Grabbing the filled bowls of potato chips, you and Yeji join the others in the living room. You sit down next to Jeongin, who quickly shows you the funny puppy video Lily has shown him, and you giggle at the screen. As Yeji starts to set up the projector, the door opens on a few more of your friends and you know it won’t be quiet anymore.

Chan, Jisung and Minho are yelling about something, raising the volume of the conversation a million dozen decibels, and you shake your head at the sight of them. Chaotic and loud as they are, even in your state you are grateful for them, because whatever the circumstances they can always make you smile, or, at least, provide welcome distractions.

They drop down in the remaining spots, either on the couch or the floor, Minho diving his hand down Jeongin’s popcorn bowl and Jisung arguing with Changbin about the type of beer he bought - of course, as usual, Jisung’s only answer to Changbin’s complaint is a simple traitor.

“THIS AGAIN…” Changbin yells at the top of his lungs.

You can’t help but smile. That game has been going on since Changbin moved out of his apartment with Jisung and Chan to move in with his girlfriend - Minho took his spot since, and there really isn’t any bad blood between them, but Jisung loves to remind Changbin how he abandoned them.

“Hey, Y/N,” Minho says, sitting down between you and Jeongin. You took the spot at the end of the couch, a blanket covering your legs. “How’s it going?”

“I’m okay,” you say with a smile. “What about you?”

“Fantastic. Did you check out that link I sent you?”

You start to talk a little - you and Minho work in a similar domain and it’s always nice to exchange ideas and anecdotes. You find yourself immersed in the conversation, the noise of all your friends chatting and laughing mixing into a background noise you can’t get enough of - it definitely helps the black hole inside your chest. You don’t feel so cold, you don’t feel so empty. You know it won’t last, and reality will catch up to you quickly, but for now you allow yourself to relax.

“Y/N.”

You turn towards Chan, who has stopped at your level. He’s smiling kindly at you, looking a little tired - but that’s nothing out of the ordinary. Like you, Chan barely sleeps. Neither of you can stop the ceaseless train of thought in your heads - while you stare at the ceiling, Chan works.

“Hey, Channie.”

“You want something to drink?”

“Yeah, maybe a soda.”

“Cool, coming right up.”

“Oiiiii, what about me?” Minho whines.

He asks for a can of beer, followed by Lily who has finished her previous one, and soon everyone is yelling at Chan to bring them something to drink. He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath, and you chuckle.

“Let me help you,” you say, standing up. “Y’all are lazy,” you add, squinting your eyes at your friends.

Their protests all tangle together and you laugh, following Chan to the kitchen.

Your friends.

They are all precious to you, all in their own way.

But Chan. Chan.

The first time you met him you felt your heartbeat accelerate because he looked so damn charming. A kind smile, eyes like stars, and an energy that immediately soothed you. It did not take long for you to develop a crush on him. How could you not? He was kind, funny, talented, and smart. He truly cared for the people in his life and never broke a promise. Handsome, too, of course. The kind of guy that made you weak in the knees, that sent your thoughts reeling whenever he touched you.

Your crush had always been one-sided though, which was fine. You had quickly worked to overcome your physical attraction to him and made it a priority to develop your friendship. Because Chan understood you. You found yourselves exchanging looks and agreeing on similar things often enough so that one day, you sat down next to him during a party to ask for advice and you ended up talking for hours, forgetting to get drunk like everyone else.

You are not particularly close. You don’t know everything about each other. You mostly see each other with the rest of your friend group - rarely alone. You don’t text each other everyday - in fact, you barely do. But he’s a steady presence in your life, a friend you rely on, and you know it’s the same for him.

Tonight, you’re especially grateful for him.

Chan gives you a smile as he opens the fridge.

“I like your sweater,” he says, handing you a pack of sodas.

You put it on the kitchen island, smiling.

“Thank you. I like your earrings. Are they new?”

You’re used to Chan wearing his silver hoops, but today he’s sporting a simple black dot on one ear, a small lightning bolt on the other.

“Yeah, I felt like a change,” he nods. “They say it’s good for us, right?”

“I guess,” you answer simply. “It suits you.”

“Thanks.”

You exchange smiles, gathering all the desired drinks slowly. You glance at him sometimes, at the angle of his nose, at the dark curls that brush his ears. Your crush on Chan eventually faded away, although never entirely. You have just buried it so deep inside you sometimes you forget it is there - you haven’t thought about it for a long time.

Then again, your heart has been entirely occupied by San.

Heart.

Body.

Soul.

All of which lay in pieces, now.

Chan must see the shadows in your eyes, because he frowns a little, looking intently at you.

“Is something wrong?”

You shake your head, trying to shake the bad thoughts away at the same time.

“No, no, don’t worry.”

Chan gives you a smile and a short nod, although he’s still frowning. He can feel you don’t want to linger on it - you hope he knows it’s not that you don’t trust him. Besides Yeji, Chan is perhaps the friend you trust the most.

You remember every single hug he’s given you.

Always so warm.

Always at the right time.

He probably doesn’t know some of them gave you the strength to hold on. The most recent one, about two weeks ago.

“Can I have another one, please?”

The barman gives you a nod and turns to prepare you another beer.

Besides you, Yeji gives you a long look. “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

“Just one more,” you tell her, lifting an index.

She smiles, throwing an arm around your neck. She keeps a close eye on you - that’s why you feel comfortable to indulge in another drink. You need it, after all. Since your breakup with San, you’ve barely touched alcohol, choosing instead to drown in snacks and utter isolation.

So for your friend, it’s a step forward that you’ve agreed to come tonight.

It’s just you, Yeji, Chan and Jisung. A quiet night at the local pub.

A few beers, a board game.

When you have a new full pint, you and Yeji head back to the table and sit down. All of you decide to play another game, and Jisung starts shuffling the cards, telling you some dumb joke. You know he’s doing that to make you feel better, and it works. You find yourself smiling so much your cheeks hurt a little.

You place your head on his shoulder, affectionately, and cross Chan’s gaze. He’s smiling, too, fondly.

Your friends are talking and your heart hurts so fucking much.

You miss San. You’ve fallen out of love a long time ago, you now realize, but it’s still painful. You have to start over. You have to find yourself again. It’ll be long work - but you’ll do it. And as you look at your friends, you think to yourself they will make it easier. You’ve been drinking a little, and the emotion swells in your chest.

“Y/N, don’t cry!” Yeji cries out, noticing the tears on your cheeks.

You have not even realized you are crying. You touch your skin in surprise, letting out a giggle.

“Awwww, no, honey,” Jisung says, drawing you in his arms.

He rocks you like a child and you laugh as more tears drip down your eyes.

“I’m sorry,” you say. “I love you guys so much.”

“Nooo, you’re gonna make me cry too,” Yeji cries out, taking your hand.

“I know it’s not… Not easy for you, because San is your friend, and…” You sniffle. “I don’t want this to be difficult for you.”

“Don’t say that, Y/N,” Jisung whispers. “We’re your friends, too.”

“We’re here for you,” Chan nods.

Crying and laughing at the same time, your friends decide to keep playing to get your mind off of things. You’re grateful.

Yeji wins, of course. She always does. Once all your beers are finished, you agree to go. Chan will drive Yeji home - he’s only had one pint. Jisung lives close to you, so you decide to walk together.

You say goodnight to Yeji. She places a kiss on your cheek, squeezes your hand. Chan draws you into a hug.

It’s so loving. So steady.

It takes the breath out of your lungs.

“I love you, Y/N,” he says in your ear. “I’m here if you need me.”

You’re too dumbstruck to reply. But you know you’ll remember those words for a long time.

You do.

You still remember the words - you can still hear them.

He’s here.

He loves you.

Like a friend, of course.

But that is more than enough.

“Y/N?”

Chan’s voice brings you back to the present. You shake your head and chuckle.

“Sorry. I was just lost in thought.”

He nods, biting his lip nervously. “By the way, I wanted to ask. There’s this concert next -”

That’s when you hear the door open - followed by a voice.

His voice.

Your blood freezes in your veins, and you stare dumbly at Chan, unable to move.

You feel like bursting out in tears. No, no, no.

Not him, not tonight.

You feel Chan’s eyes on you. Yet, you don’t really see him. He delicately puts a hand on your wrist.

“Y/N…”

You try to gather your thoughts. You should’ve prepared, just in case. You feel so stupid. Of course it was all going too well.

You’re startled when Yeji bursts in the kitchen, puts her hands on your shoulders and seeks your eyes.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry, honey -”

“What the hell?” you hear Chan mutter next to you. “I thought he wasn’t supposed to come.”

“He wasn’t,” Yeji hisses. “I swear, he told me he couldn’t.”

“Fuck’s sake, this dude…”

You close your eyes and take a deep breath.

Slowly, you look up at your friends, gathering a smile.

“It’s okay,” you say, your voice clear. You take Yeji’s hands in yours, nod at her. “I’m fine.”

“Y/N…”

“I’m fine,” you repeat. “I’ll be fine.”

You look at Chan next, and you feel like your heart will burst out of your chest. There’s something in his eyes you can’t identify, a spark that is also a shadow. He’s frowning, his body slightly bent towards you, like he’s about to pull you into a hug. You clear your throat and nod, praying to all you can not to let your voice tremble.

“It’s all right,” you say. “He’s our friend. He should be here.”

And to some degree, you mean it.

Yeji gives you a tight hug, and you can hear Chan let out a long sigh from behind you. You can’t linger on it - you have to focus on yourself.

Stay calm. Breathe.

You can do this.

The breakup was hard for the both of you, you remind yourself. You loved each other, you really did, that much you’re sure of. San was never that good of a liar. You have a much more vulnerable nature than him, which was always a source of conflict between you, but you know your breakup affected him. You remember the tears in his eyes. The vein in his neck, pulsing, as he held them back. You remember the way his hand clenched yours. The way his words came out broken from between his teeth.

It’s over, isn’t it?

You fell out of love.

It happens.

You take a deep breath. You still want San to be your friend. You’ve agreed that you would try, and you intend to follow through on your words.

You take a step to follow Yeji back to the living room, but Chan puts a delicate hand on your shoulder. You turn around, plunge your eyes in his. You’ve always thought of them as a haven, a night sky full of stars, both deep and bright.

He stares at you with a clenched jaw and a furrowed brow. He smells as he always has, a smell you’ve wanted on your pillow for so long - and it still makes you slightly dizzy although you know there’s no chance with him.

“If at any moment you want to go home, tell me, yeah?” he whispers to you. “I’ll drive you.”

You’re a little entranced by the soft lines on his full lips and the way his low voice scrapes - but you manage a nod, after what feels like a long second.

“Thank you.”

He nods, gives your shoulder a squeeze and lets you go. The warmth of his hand lingers there, and it gives you courage to move forward.

San has already taken a seat next to Jisung and glances at you when you walk into the room. Your friends are kind enough to keep the conversation going, so the room doesn’t fall silent, but your heart sinks at the bottom of your chest.

Because San doesn’t look tired. He doesn’t look sad.

In fact, he beams.

Eyes sparkling.

New clothes, new watch.

A smile so wide it slices right through your heart.

Fuck, he looks so happy.

You have to bite your tongue so you burst out crying. You stagger a little bit, but Chan is right behind you and it prevents you from falling back. His warmth, the voices of your friends, everything makes it better.

“Hey,” you manage to say, although you’re not sure how. “You look good.”

“Thanks, you too,” he tells you, but his voice is distant. His eyes are too, like he doesn’t even see you anymore. Not like he did before.

It’s abundantly clear - your ex has moved on.

It’s not that you still have feelings for him - you just need time to grieve what you had. San was a huge part of your life for a long time, and suddenly he isn’t there anymore. That absence, that void, that’s what is difficult to deal with. Being so goddamn alone all the time. No one to make you feel loved. No one to love, either.

You’re still putting yourself back together.

You’re still healing.

Not him. He’s done it.

You should be happy for him, and in a way, you are. You’re not mad he’s moved on. But it happened so quickly. It hasn’t even been two months. You were together for more than a year. Maybe you’re jealous, maybe you’re bitter. But mostly it hurts.

How long is it going to take you? Why are you so goddamn sensitive?

You breathe out and help Chan bring everyone their drinks. San’s laughter is a haunting melody and you can’t wait for the movie to start so you can think about something else. You take your previous seat, and Jeongin rubs your back affectionately, offering you the bowl of popcorn.

Chan sits at the opposite side of the room. Pathetically, you wish he was still next to you. Instead you focus on the images that start playing, projected on the white wall in front of you. It’s a movie you’ve already seen, but that’s ok. It’s not like you can really focus, anyway.

Because all you can see is San. Funny, clever, happy. You know him, you’d know if he was pretending, but he isn’t. He’s liberated. It’s the only word that comes to mind. You wonder for how long you’ve been bringing him down. If he realized it and hated you for it. If he couldn’t wait to get rid of you. If he was just looking for an excuse and -

You close your eyes and put a stop to the intruding thoughts.

No. It wasn’t like that.

Was it?

You don’t know anymore.

You barely follow the movie because your thoughts keep spiraling. Around you, your friends are chatting, making jokes, and commenting on the movie. Jisung’s laugh is so loud it takes over sometimes and you take refuge in it. But your heart feels frozen in place, in the middle of two beats, unable to go forward. You stare into nothing. You don’t even touch your soda. The popcorn, either - so you hand it back to Jeongin. His presence feels good, too.

You hate yourself for being unable to live in the moment. For letting your mind wander like it is, dizzy and unkind.

In the movie, people say what they think.

In the movie, loving doesn’t seem so hard.

In the movie, it doesn’t rain.

It’s a blessing and a curse that everyone is watching the movie, and that you’re sitting in the corner, in the dark. Your eyes are filled with tears and suddenly one escapes and slides down your cheek. You fidget in your seat, faking a yawn to wipe it away. You pull the blanket over your trembling body. You laugh when the others do, although it’s heartless. Nobody notices - or so you think - and it’s a good thing.

You try to focus on the movie. It’s entertaining, it’s funny, and for a minute, maybe, you succeed in feeling better. Then you see, from the corner of your eye, San pulling out his phone. He stares at the screen, and in the dark, its blue light illuminates his face. He smiles at it and types a few words. You know that smile. Fuck, you were that smile, once.

You clench your jaw, hard, and wanting to look away you accidentally fall into Chan’s eyes. He’s looking at you, and although you can’t see his face very well in the darkness, you notice the worry in his eyes. He doesn’t smile, he doesn’t say anything - but you hear his silent question. You need to go?

You shake your head slowly, forcing a smile. I’m fine. I’m fine.

He nods. He doesn’t believe you.

You stand up on shaky legs and head to the bathroom. Once you close the door, you don’t even open the light. You wouldn’t be able to stand the sight of your own reflection. You just breathe out, breathe in, and then breathe out again. The tears fall down your cheeks, warm. They taste bitter on your lips.

Why can’t you be like him? Why can’t you move on, be happy?

You take a few minutes to collect yourself. It’s fine - you don’t mind seeing San. It’s good, if, unlike you, he’s able to rebuild himself. It’s all you wish for him, and you know it’s all he wishes for you, too. He’d probably be honestly sad to know you aren’t doing well. You can never tell him, of course. You’ll pretend as well as you can - you can’t allow yourself to be vulnerable with him for now. You’ll keep it for yourself, shamefully, selfishly.

It will be fine.

You’ll get over it. He did, so why not you?

Once you feel ready, you head out the bathroom, and Chan is there, leaning against the wall.

“Oh, shit, sorry,” you chuckle. “I didn’t realize someone was waiting. Did you -”

You stop as Chan puts his hands on your shoulders and pulls you to him. You fall into his arms, and you’re a little shocked so you don’t move at first. Still, Chan holds you there. You stammer.

“C-Chan, I’m okay, you don’t have to -”

“Y/N,” he says, and there’s something about the way he whispers your name that makes your heart ache. “I saw you crying. Please. You don’t have to hide.”

Gently, you let your head fall against his chest. He hugs you a little tighter.

“We’re friends, aren’t we?” he whispers. “You don’t have to hide.”

You nod. He said it in such a way, you don’t know what it is.

You are friends.

You’ve been for a long time.

Despite your crush on him, despite the awkward period where he was aware of it but didn’t say anything, despite all of that, you are friends.

But Chan has always been more than that for you.

Chan is a pillar, Chan is a mess.

Chan is both the lighthouse and the storm.

You like the feel of his arms around you. The way his chest moves as he breathes. The texture of his t-shirt.

Oh, God. Not again.

You can’t let your crush come back running. You’re just sad. You’re just lonely. It wouldn’t be fair to Chan, would it? He’s your friend. He’s not a pretty face you can choose to lust over whenever you’re lonely.

Don’t do that to yourself, Y/N.

Don’t do that to him.

Chan is your friend and he is only trying to be here for you.

“Do you want to go home?” he whispers in your hair.

You take a deep breath and nod. Chan takes a step back, smiling kindly at you. You do the same, although it’s a little faint. He bends his knees slightly to be at your height, gently rubs your cheeks to remove the tears and replace your hair.

“Let’s go, then, love.”

You don’t have time to gawk at him for using a nickname he’s never said before, because he turns and waves at you to follow him.

He tells your friends you’re feeling a little sick and he’ll drive you home. You say there’s the flu going around at the office, and you hate lying to your friends, because you know some of you will believe you and some won’t. Right now you don’t really care - even if they all knew it was a lie, they wouldn’t judge you. You make sure to not avoid San’s eyes and smile at him. You don’t want him to start asking questions.

You get your things. Yeji gives you a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, making you promise you’ll text tomorrow. You nod, squeezing her hand and glancing at your friends. There will come a day when you’ll be yourself again.

You just need time.

Time and a lot of courage.

When you step outside, with Chan right behind you, you realize it’s raining again. You look up at the sky, now a profound black painted by hints of grey clouds. You run to his car, the rain heavy and cold.

The car is clean and smells nice. Chan pulls back his hoodie, starts the engine and drives away as you look back at the apartment building. You wish you were stronger.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Chan says, one hand on the wheel, the other tapping on his thigh to the rhythm of the song on the radio.

“Do you?” you tell him with a smile.

“I do,” he nods, matching your smile. “You’re telling yourself you should be stronger.”

You gawk at him, feeling both embarrassed and scandalized. He shrugs.

“Didn’t I ever tell you I can read you like an open book?”

“Tsk,” you retort. “Wasn’t that when we played Mafia?”

“Whatever applies to Mafia applies to real life.”

“Not sure that’s true.”

“This is.”

You glare at him and he does the same, playfully. You feel much more relaxed now that you’re here. It was always easy to talk to Chan - never does that change, whatever the circumstances. You are much alike in that you tend to put others before yourselves, often at the sacrifice of your own feelings. For some reason, though, that didn’t work between you. The walls immediately fall apart.

“So I’m an open book, huh?” you say, staring at your hands.

“To me, yes. When I have my eyes on you.”

“And you had your eyes on me tonight?” you ask without thinking.

“Of course,” he answers, stopping the car at a red light. “I stayed sober, kept a close eye on you. Just in case.”

You wince. “Just in case I started crying hysterically or made a scene?”

He shakes his head, looking at you. The red light reflects on his face, enveloping the car in its hue. The rain thumps on the car in soft sounds. Chan’s dark hair is messy on his head, charmingly curled at the tips.

“More like in case he did something,” he eventually says.

“Why would he?” you ask with a frown, assuming he’s talking about San.

“Well…” Chan sighs. “He can be a dick sometimes.”

You’re surprised by his words - you never would’ve thought that Chan disliked San. On all accounts, they are good friends. Chan chuckles nervously at your look, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Sorry. I know you were a thing for a long time, but… It’s just what I think.”

“Did he do something?”

Chan shrugs. “It’s just a feeling. Never really did anything. Except breaking up with you, of course.”

You scoff. “He’s an asshole for breaking up with me?”

“Yeah,” Chan stammers. “Just - like - who would ever let a girl like you go?”

His words don’t make a lot of sense to you. They come to you muffled, as if you are plunged in a dream or in a drunken state. You honestly can’t believe your ears.

“What are you -”

He quickly waves his hand, looks away from you to the road ahead - and fortunately for him, the light turns green, so he has a good excuse to change the subject.

“Don’t mind me. I’m just rambling.”

You really don’t want to let this go. Your heart is racing, and you honestly wouldn’t know San’s name if someone was to yell it in your ear right now. All you can see is Chan, his tightened jaw, gripping the wheel of his car, driving you home. His words echo in your head, and you’re trying to put everything together.

Did you miss something? Clearly, Chan has something on his mind, an itch he can’t scratch. Have you been so intoxicated by your grief and sadness that you blacked out? You haven’t been a good friend, that much you know. You just wanted to feel better, first. You were of use to no one feeling this sad and broken. But Chan’s agitation has clearly been there for a while. How long have you been this blind?

You open your mouth, trying to find the right words. Chan, what is going on?

Chan, are you angry at me?

Chan, please, tell me what’s on your mind.

You sigh in frustration. You’re silent for a while, your thoughts spiraling, and just when you’re just about ready to ask, your phone rings. You glance at the screen instinctively, and San’s name is like a slap on the face.

Are you okay? he asks in a text. Tell me when you get home.

Hints of your boyfriend. Remnants of the past. The text feels like a ghost is speaking to you. It makes you angry. It makes you ache.

You might not love San anymore, but you miss him.

“Are you okay?” Chan asks.

“Yeah,” you nod.

You’re about to say you’re fine, which has become an automatic response, but you remember what Chan said. I can read you like an open book. So instead, you take a deep breath.

“It’s San,” you explain. “He’s asking me if I’m okay and to text him when I’m home.”

Chan scoffs, and there is nothing amiable in the sound. “The guts on this guy,” he mutters. “I’m literally driving you and he knows that.”

You frown, sensing the anger in his voice.

“Seriously, Chan, did something happen between your two?”

Chan shakes his head. He doesn’t want to look at you.

“Chan,” you insist. “Tell me, please.”

He lets out a sigh, gripping the wheel tighter.

“We might’ve had… an altercation.”

“An altercation?” you repeat. “Like a fight?!”

“Not a fight,” Chan sighs. “Not a physical one, anyway.”

“What the fuck happened?”

The words escape your mouth. An uneasy feeling washes over you. Nobody has told you about this. Nobody has said a word.

“When did this happen?” you ask when Chan doesn’t answer.

“Like… a week ago, I think.”

“Why didn’t no one -”

You interrupt yourself and close your eyes. Looking out the car window, you realize you’re already parked in front of your apartment building. How did it go so fast?

For how much longer are you going to keep losing track of time?

“Chan,” you say, your voice shaking. “Please tell me what’s going on.”

He looks at you with timid eyes. They shimmer in the darkness but you can’t focus on them. You are trembling and you can’t hold on to a single clear thought. Your mind is a blurry mess.

Chan looks out through the window before he takes a deep breath.

“I didn’t want to do this tonight. You need to rest, you -”

“If you don’t tell me now, I’ll never be able to sleep, so it will be worse.”

You feel your hands shaking, so you clench your fists. Outside, the rain accelerates, pounds loudly on the car. The sound is almost unbearable but you don’t care.

“If you’re trying to protect me, I’m grateful,” you add, when you see he’s still hesitating. “But I can take it. I’d rather know.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispers, his voice quivering.

“We’re friends, right?” you tell him. “That’s what you said. Be my friend, Chan.”

He sighs and rubs his eyes. You’re scared, and yet a part of you feels perfectly calm. You hate the fact that something was hidden from you, but you’re so ready to withstand whatever storm is heading your way.

You’d rather stand in chaos than into nothingness.

At least the chaos makes a little sense.

“Before I say anything…” Chan sighs. “I don’t want you to take any of this on you, yeah? I know you’ll feel bad, but please, just remember -”

“For fuck’s sake, Chan,” you say with a nervous laugh. “Get to the point.”

“He has a girlfriend.”

You stare back at him.

“What?”

“San. He has a girlfriend. I thought it was too soon, that it was disrespectful of you, so I told him and it got heated, but… Yeah. Shit. I’m sorry, Y/N.”

It’s like the rain suddenly got quiet.

A girlfriend.

You should’ve known. You saw it, after all. The phone, the text, the smile. The happiness in his eyes. The trendy clothes, the new watch. All the hints were there.

He has moved on.

More than you expected.

Everything happens quickly. Your body acts before your brain registers it, and in the blink of an eye you’re outside in the pouring rain. You slam the passenger door behind you, you forget your bag, you don’t even think about it. You just walk forward.

It’s bitter cold.

In seconds, you’re drenched.

Your knees feel weak and you’re sure you are going to fall.

A sob escapes your throat.

It shouldn’t hurt that much.

You hate your heart.

You hate how vulnerable it is.

You want to move on, too.

“Y/N!”

You turn around, halfway to the door of your apartment, to find Chan running towards you. You raise your hand slowly. It’s shaking like a leaf.

“It’s fine, Chan. I’m f-”

“Stop saying that!”

You’re a bit surprised at the sudden anguish in his voice. He stops inches away from you, getting soaked by the heavy rain. It slides down his cheeks like tears, strands of dark hair sticking to his forehead. He looks at you fiercely, his eyes blazing with light.

“I’m sorry, I just - I see you’re hurting and it’s killing me.”

You don’t know what to tell him. You wish he would go away. You wish he would hug you. You wish the pain would just stop.

“Y/N -”

“I don’t care!” you scream, the sound getting lost in the rain.

Chan frowns.

“I don’t care if he has a girlfriend,” you cry out. “I just…” You shrug, your eyes lost in Chan’s. “I just want to heal, too. I want to move on, too. I’m sick of being sad. I’m sick of hurting.”

There is such despair in Chan’s face you can hardly bear it. You wish you could tell him not to take the weight of your pain on his shoulders, but you know him better than that. He can’t help it. That’s why he’s here with you.

“You just have to give me time,” you say, your voice falling apart. “I’ll be fine eventually.”

He lets out a sigh, slides a hand through his drenched hair. A raindrop slides down his face, gets caught on his lips.

“Please, let’s go inside,” he pleads. “Let me be here for you.”

You hesitate, but the cold rain keeps you on your toes. You want to be home, in your own space, but you also don’t want to be alone. So you nod, and Chan lets out a sigh, thanking you in a whisper.

When you step inside your apartment you’re a little shy to turn on the lights because it’s messy, but you can’t really be bothered about that right now. Chan waits on the other side of the door, a hesitant look on his face.

“Come in,” you tell him.

He nods, closing the door behind him. Your place is modest, just big enough for one person, situated in the semi-basement of the building. It does not get much light, but it feels cozy and it is cheap.

The first thing you do is get a towel for Chan so he can dry his hair and his clothes. He hangs his hoodie on a hook near the door; luckily the t-shirt underneath is only damp. His dark blue jeans took the worst of the rain. You suggest giving him some dry clothes, but he insists he’ll be fine.

You tell him to get comfortable and go to change in your room. Your limbs feel weak as you slip on a pair of sweatpants and a crewneck. You cannot stop thinking about Chan's words.

San has a girlfriend.

He has opened his heart to love again.

The rain keeps falling.

It’s time you heal.

When you come back to the living room, Chan is anxiously staring at his phone. He puts it away when he sees you, smiling a little timidly.

“Feel better?”

“Yeah,” you nod. “Want a drink?”

“Sounds good.”

You give him a gentle smile and you both head to the kitchen, where you fill two glasses of soju. He takes one, clinking it against yours. You drink it in one go.

“Now that feels better,” you sigh.

Chan smiles at you fondly, and you nudge his arm.

“Chan. It’s all right. It had to happen.”

“So quickly, though?” he winces.

“We all heal at different paces,” you say softly. “Or maybe it’s his way of healing. Either way I’m happy for him.”

Chan leans one elbow on the kitchen counter, giving you a long look. You hold his gaze, confused at the sudden calmness you feel.

“You said you can read me like an open book,” you remind him, pouring yourself another drink. “Am I lying?”

He smiles briefly. “No.”

“Cheers.”

He takes another sip, and you imitate him.

“How about we sit down?” you propose.

Once in the living room, you sink into the couch. Chan sits at a comfortable distance, twirling his glass between his fingers. It’s strange to see him at your place - because of the size of your apartment, you rarely have friends over. You remember him driving you home a couple of times, but he must have been inside only once or twice in the three years you’ve lived here.

You talk a little, about everything and nothing. You drink some more, perhaps a little too much, but the soju warms your body. Chan relaxes, too. The bottle is quickly empty.

You both fall silent, and you stare at the bottom of your empty glass. The tears come back too easily.

“Chan?”

“Yeah, love?”

You peck your lips. Hearing him say that feels too good. It’s so new, but you already don’t want him to ever stop.

“Is she pretty?” you utter.

“Y/N…”

“She must be. Pretty and smart.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Do you know her?”

You look up, and Chan shakes his head. His hair is untidy, his cheeks a little red, his full lips as inviting as ever.

“I don’t. Ji told me they met at a party.”

You let out a shaky sigh. “So everyone knows?”

You hate the way your voice shudders, but you can’t help it. Chan shuffles closer to you, gently taking your hand in his. It’s warm and familiar.

“No,” he answers in a soft voice. “Just a few. We wanted to wait for the right moment - well, actually, I thought San should be the one to tell you.”

You laugh, wiping your tears. “No offense, but that would’ve been worse.”

Chan snorts amusingly. “Oh. Good thing it didn’t happen, then. I thought it’d be a good idea.”

“It’s a terrible idea.”

You both end up giggling, and Chan doesn’t let go of your hand. You sniffle. You don’t let go either.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” you say. But why are you so invested in this?”

“In your breakup?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m not invested in your breakup,” he shrugs. “I’m invested in you, you’re my friend.”

“But it’s - you don’t have to, you can just be like the others, not take a side, you don’t have to fight anyone.”

“Why wouldn’t I speak out? It bothers me, you know me, I don’t shut up when it comes to people I care about.”

“But San is your friend, too.”

“But you’re -”

You frown. “I’m what?”

“You’re Y/N.”

The tenderness in his voice takes you by surprise. It seeps through his lips, echoes in his eyes. You feel your heart twist and turn - and just like that, his fingers slip away from yours.

“Sorry, I…” He closes his eyes, shakes his head. “Hell, I’m doing it all wrong tonight. And I should really stop drinking. How the fuck am I supposed to drive back home?”

“Chan, wait,” you say, ignoring him. “What are you trying to say?”

He sighs heavily. His face falls in his hand, and he breathes there for a second before he looks back up at you. He looks so tired.

“I know you had a crush on me,” he breathes.

You smile nervously. “Why are you bringing this up?”

“Because I have a crush on you, too,” he says.

You blink, and it’s like the world tilts. You haven’t been drinking that much, it can’t be the soju. Still, you feel dizzy and warm. Chan is looking at you with fondness and anguish.

He didn’t say had.

He said have.

His words are right there, still on the tip of his tongue.

In his eyes.

So damn bright.

No - he’s here because he’s your friend. That’s it.

Isn’t it?

“I don’t understand,” you breathe out.

“I never acted on it because San had wanted to ask you out for a while,” Chan explains with a shrug. “And you know me. I never put myself before others. And although I sorta knew you had a crush on me, I convinced myself San was better for you.”

You look down at your hands, feeling completely overwhelmed.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” you whisper.

“Because you were so happy with him,” Chan says, his voice shaking. “You found each other and it was good, and who was I to say anything? At one point it didn’t even matter anymore, and I buried it deep inside of me, told myself I was over you. You were over me, after all. It was just a crush, anyway. I was so sure you’d be in this with San for the long run.”

So did I, you want to say. Your throat feels so dry, however, you can’t say anything. You can just stare at Chan. He smiles at you almost carefully.

“When I heard about your breakup… Everything came rushing back. The other night, after we got drinks, and I saw you crying… I was just so worried about you. So gutted to see you hurt, it was almost unbearable. And then he said he found someone else and I couldn’t understand, and we argued. It was heated, but it’s fine now. We’re good.”

You close your eyes because the world can’t stop spinning. You were so cold earlier, but now you’re almost sweating. You’re too warm. The world is ablaze.

Chan is your fire.

“I’m not saying I’m in love with you. I can’t say I am. But if I let myself go…” He stumbles on his words. “I just might.”

Time has stopped. You can barely breathe.

You feel the sting of shame.

The delightful warmth of Chan’s confession.

You’ve been so blind.

“You just mean so much to me,” he says, his voice both low and soft. “I just want you to be happy. I just want you to be loved as you should be loved.”

When you open your eyes, it feels like he’s sitting closer to you although he hasn’t moved. He’s not touching you, but his smell overwhelms your senses. You can’t look away, and he watches you back.

“How I wish I could,” he breathes, his eyes drilling into yours. “Fall into you. Show you how you could be loved. ”

You drink his words like they’re the essence of life. You feel, in each one, a wish, a hope, a possibility. Ropes that were drawn and never knotted together. Lifelines, waiting to be grasped.

“I never was,” you breathe.

He frowns. “What?”

“Over you,” you explain. “I never was over you. I’m not.”

He closes his eyes.

“Fuck, Y/N, don’t tell me that.”

“It’s true,” you say, voice trembling. “I loved San, of course I did. But you were always in my heart and you will never not be.”

Chan’s eyes drip down your eyes to your lips. You feel an ache inside your chest. It’s like it’s starting to rain indoors. What an odd feeling.

“You don’t love him anymore?” he asks carefully, weighing every word.

“No.”

Your voice comes in a whisper, but it’s full of certainty.

“But Chan, I…” You swallow. “I can’t - I can’t listen to what my heart says about you, it’s not fair, you’re not… You’re not a stand-in, you’re not - you’re more important than that, and…”

“Can I kiss you?”

The question catches you off guard.

“Just once,” Chan smiles. “I want to taste your lips. Just once.”

What could you say to that? How many times did you dream about Chan’s lips on yours, wondering what they felt like? Were his kisses kind, delicate, hungry? You’d see him drink whiskey and wonder if the taste would linger on them. You’d see him kiss another girl and picture yourself in her place.

And now he was offering you a kiss.

Hell, he wanted to kiss you.

So you find yourself nodding, and Chan takes a long look at you, as if he’s waiting for you to change your mind. You remain immobile, lips parted, awaiting his. Slowly, he plucks them, grazing them against his - and they sink into yours, soft, like a cloud, deep, like the ocean.

You collapse in his arms, wrapping yours around his neck. He slides his fingers through your hair, his other hand embracing your waist to pull you closer. You can’t hold back a sigh from escaping your lips, and Chan responds by kissing you deeper, the movements of his lips getting almost feverish.

“Chan,” you moan when you gasp for breath.

“Fuck, I can’t stop,” he growls, placing small kisses on your lips.

His fingers dig in your skin, and you desperately want to disappear against him, so you move your leg so you can straddle him. Chan wraps himself around you, and you feel the dampness of his clothes but you don’t care. You take his face in your hands, plunging back into a needy kiss. Chan’s hands wander on your back, on your hips, on the back of your neck. You can only lean into him. His tongue teases your lips and you open your mouth to let it in. It plays with yours, and you can feel walls tighten.

By now you are fully making out, your hips grinding against his. You can feel him getting hard, and it sends your mind reeling.

“God, you’re so perfect,” he moans around your lips.

“I’ve thought about this so often, Chan,” you admit.

“Same,” he grins. “I… Fuck, I can’t tell you this.”

“Tell me,” you insist, trailing kisses alongside his jaw, on the delicate skin of his neck. It makes him shudder, and can almost feel his cock pulsating under you.

“I thought about your lips,” he breathes out. “Your body. How you would sound moaning against me…”

“Fuck, Channie…”

You clench at his words, pressing your core on his erection. He grunts, his fingers slowly making their way under your shirt. You tug at his, and suddenly, like a flash of lightning, you realize what you are doing. Your heart skips a beat, and your mouth dries. Everything rushes back. You stop, and he does the same, leaning back.

He looks more attractive than ever with his hair tousled by your fingers, his full lips red and wet from your kisses.

“I’m sorry, I just -”

“Is this going too fast?” he asks you gently.

You hesitate. “It’s not that. I just - I don’t want to give the wrong impression.”

Chan frowns. “What do you mean?”

“Like you’re just a rebound or something,” you shrug.

Chan smiles - that cheeky grin of his, his eyes sparkling at the same time. It toys with your heartstrings. How could anyone not adore this man?

“I don’t care,” he answers. “I’ll be your rebound.”

“Chan, I’m serious,” you sigh.

“So am I,” he says, twirling a strand of your hair around his index. “If it’s something you want, then I’m here. I want to. And it doesn’t have to mean anything tomorrow, or ever. We’ll always be friends.”

You breathe out, briefly closing your eyes. All you want is to keep kissing him, to forget the world in his arms. To be desired, to be loved.

It’s all you want.

But your heart still aches.

So much has happened tonight - you feel so heavy.

You sigh again. “I just… Fuck, I’m sorry.”

Chan cups your cheek.

“It’s okay, love,” he says, placing a kiss on your forehead. “It’s all so fresh. I can leave if you -”

“No,” you quickly interrupt him, pushing a finger against his plush lips. “Please. Stay with me.”

Chan nods, his eyes not leaving yours. You should move. You should get going - get a glass of water, sleep it all off. But you can’t move, lost in Chan’s gaze, your body a bundle of nerves. You lean forward, settling your forehead against his.

“It’s killing me,” you chuckle nervously.

Chan giggles, and the sound is delightful. “We have time, love. I won’t let you go, now. I got you.”

He places a soft kiss on your lips.

“If you’ll have me.”

As an answer, you give him another kiss. You slide your fingers through his humid hair, inhaling his scent.

“Will you sleep here tonight?”

“I’m here, baby.”

The word makes something melt inside of you. You shiver, and instinctively, he sprawls his warm hands on your back.

You’re overwhelmed by the tenderness and the hurt.

You feel so loved.

So abandoned.

So alone.

So supported.

So seen.

Your lips find him again like a magnet. You kiss him deeper than before. You’re losing your mind.

“Y/N,” he breathes in your mouth.

The words escape your lips. “Fuck it, I want you.”

He groans, his fingers diving in your skin. His cock twitches under you, making you lose all sense.

“I want this, Chan,” you sigh, biting his lip. “But I don’t - I don’t want you to think I’m using you, all right? You’re my friend, I care about you, I -”

He laughs. “You can use me all you want.”

He starts kissing you again, feverishly, as if it hasn’t just been a few seconds since he last did it. You arch your back, closing all distance between your bodies. Chan starts placing kisses down your neck, his tongue teasing your thin skin.

“I’ll make you feel good, baby girl,” he whispers. “I’ll make you forget for a little while. Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

“It’s just you and me tonight. Let the rest fade away.”

He puts his strong hands on your ass, and slowly moves it. You sway your hips, and the friction of his erection against you makes you moan softly. You plunge your face in the crook of his neck, kissing his shoulder blades.

“Just you and me, yeah?” he whispers.

“Just you and me,” you nod.

In a swift move he removes your shirt, groaning at the sight of your bralette. It’s made of a thin lacy material, so he can perfectly see your nipples, and immediately leans in to brush his lips against them. You shudder, your nails digging in the back of his neck.

He removes your bra to gain access to your breasts, gently massaging them in his hands and sliding his tongue around them. Meanwhile, you caress his cock above his jeans, loving the way he tenses at your touch.

“Hold on to me,” he tells you in a breath.

You wrap your arms around his neck and he lifts you up, only to gently lay you down on the couch so he’s on top of you.

“Let me see you,” you breathe, grabbing his t-shirt.

He obliges, removing the piece of clothing so you revel in the sight of his toned chest. You take off your sweatpants and stare as he removes his jeans as well, giving you a better sight of his athletic body. His boxers do nothing to hide his erection.

“Before this goes any further,” he says, and his voice sounds so raw it sends shivers down your spine. “Do you have -”

“Bathroom,” you say with a nod.

He smiles, bends to steal a kiss and disappears. You look up at the ceiling, suddenly very aware of your nakedness, of what you are about to do.

It feels like you’ve been through ten days in one.

This morning you woke up with dread.

Now you are filled with hope.

Is this going too fast? Should you wait?

Maybe.

You don’t want to.

This feeling in your chest, that Chan helps surge, that threatens to burst - all this light, all this love. It’s been a while since you’ve felt that. From someone else, from yourself.

So what if it’s too fast? You want to live.

And if there’s a person you trust, it’s Chan.

“Got it,” you hear him say as he reappears.

You don’t really know what to say because you have all this love and light inside your chest and words would not feel enough, so you stay silent, only pull him back into a kiss. He lays on top of you, warm and a little unsteady. You can feel he’s a little nervous, just like you, but you don’t mind. You need his softness. You need his realness.

You push his boxers down, feeling his cock touch your stomach. The sensation is enough to clear your mind, and you bite Chan’s lower lip a little. He answers with a slight chuckle.

You want to tell him how crazy he makes you. How nice it is to feel him so warm and hard. How much this means to you. But for some reason, you can bring yourself to say anything, and neither does he. You just breathe together, febrile and eager. His fingers graze your wetness, and you shiver. Sensing your pleasure, Chan applies some pressure on your folds, leaning two fingers on your clit. You arch your back, moaning a little louder than you expected. Your hands reach for him, palming his cock, your own fingers brushing his tip.

“Fuck,” Chan grunts. “Y/N…”

“Channie, please,” you whisper.

“Wait,” he answers. “I want to do something first, if this is my only chance.”

You frown, opening your eyes as you feel him move. You quickly understand what he means, however, as his lips trace a path of wet kisses on your stomach and your thighs. Soon his breath is against your core, and you forget how to breathe.

When his tongue touches you, it’s like a hundred sensations at once, and you can’t hold back a shaky moan. Your fingers grab the couch as Chan pushes your legs further apart. He kisses you, pressing his tongue into you, attentive to your reactions.

“You’re gorgeous, you know?” he says, although you barely hear him. “Keep moaning for me, baby girl.”

A surge of pleasure goes through your body, enveloping you in silk, and you grab Chan’s hair, instinctively pushing him against your clit as his tongue encloses it.

“Fuck, fuck, Chan, I’m…” you whimper.

“Are you coming?”

You nod, and he buries his nose in you, embracing your sensitive spots. Your orgasm makes your whole body tremble against him, and he holds your legs as you do, making sure to accompany you throughout.

As you come down, slowly, you blink back into reality. You look at him a little timidly, realizing your fingers are still tangled in his hair. You place your palm against his head, caressing it tenderly.

“I’m so sorry,” you mutter. “Did I hurt you?”

“Not at all,” he chuckles. “It was beautiful.”

You bite your lip and he moves so he can kiss you. Your taste is on his lips and his tongue and it’s making you a little dizzy.

It’s been a while since you’ve felt as good as this.

Not that the sex with San was bad - but it faded at the same time your love did. When you broke up you had not touched each other like that - barely kissed, even - for weeks.

Although you’re sensitive, you really want to make Chan feel good. You need him inside you, stretching you, making you whole. You align your legs so his cock falls between them, and you grind slowly. His breath hitches against your lips, and you take it as a hint he likes it.

“You made me feel so good, Channie,” you tell him in between kisses. “I want to do the same for you.”

“Fuck, you’re so warm,” he lets out.

“I want you inside me,” you say.

He nods fervently, puts on the condom he got from the bathroom and aligns himself with your entrance. You feel so relaxed and tense at the same time, tucked in his arms on the couch, the rest of the world faded away. He enters you slowly, letting you time to adjust to his size, and you breathe out slowly.

He feels so different. He feels so right. You are a bundle of nerves he unmakes.

He thrusts his hips at a measured, exquisite pace. Each time he goes deeper, and you cry out in pleasure, your fingers digging in the skin of his muscled back. You feel the fever, you feel the want. He breathes heavily against your neck, holding you tight.

“You okay?” he asks in a whisper.

“Don’t stop,” you tell him, arching a little to facilitate his movements.

Chan doesn’t stop. As he makes love to you - because it is what he is doing - you sense his thrusts getting a little more erratic. In the quiet of the living room you hear nothing but the sound of him plunging inside you, his cock smeared by your wetness, his breathing mingling with yours. It is so erotic, so loving, your second orgasm is building quickly and deliciously.

Chan accelerates. You pant, moaning nonsense.

“Come with me,” he breathes, and that is the last thing you need to come undone.

It’s enthralling how your soul escapes you and yet stays right there, against Chan, around him, with him. As you clench around his cock, you hear a delightful moan escape his throat, rough and hoarse, and it keeps you right above the clouds with him as he comes inside of you. You feel him twitch before he relaxes slowly.

His lips find your forehead and he plants the softest of kisses there.

As you sink into the couch, he removes himself from you, and lays down on top of your body. You don’t mind the weight - in fact, it feels just right. His nose is in your neck, his breath tickling your sweat-covered skin. Your fingers slide in his hair, and you close your eyes.

You give yourselves time to recover. As the high fades, you feel Chan’s breathing relax and get more steady.

“Channie,” you whisper with a smile. “Don’t fall asleep.”

“Hm?” he groans, lifting his head to look at you.

With his hair all over the place, his small eyes and swollen lips, he looks ready to pass out. It elicits a large smile from you, and you tenderly caress his cheek.

“Let’s get to bed,” you tell him.

He nods. You stand up on shaky legs, and help him on his feet. Together you close the lights in the apartment, and then you take his hand to guide him towards the bathroom. You take the time to clean up and head to the bedroom. The lights are off except for the fairy lights hanging above your bed. Once you’re there, you open a drawer, take out a t-shirt that will fit him.

You slip under the sheets, Chan next to you. He pulls you into his arms, and you put your head on his shoulder.

The rain has slowed to a drizzle.

Who knows what the sky will look like tomorrow?

For now you just want to sleep against Charm’s warmth.

“Get some rest, love,” he whispers to you.

“Goodnight, Channie.”

“Goodnight.”

Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a comment or reblog with a word in the tags if you can. It's truly appreciated ♡

#bang chan smut #bang chan x y/n #bang chan x you #bang chan x reader #chan smut #chan x you #chan x reader #chan x y/n #stray kids smut #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x reader #skz smut #skz x reader #skz x you #skz x y/n

2K notes · View notes