#btw. my post about keeping away from public socials for a while still stands

[yeehawbvby]

When the Moon Fell in Love With the Sun | Ch. 11 (FINAL)

March x F!Farmer

Rating: Mature/Explicit (eventual smut)

Chapter Summary: Another rowdy Friday night at the inn leads into a cozy, domestic morning.

Author's Note: This is the longest fic I've written and actually finished. Ty for reading it, and I hope you enjoyed :3 <3

(Also. At the time I post this, it seems like Trump is gonna win the US election.. fellow Americans, please stay safe, please keep pushing on, and please take care of yourself. Ily)

Table of Contents + Work Summary

Check it out on ao3!

Prev

“Alright, ready?”

“No.”

“Come on,” March drew out the last word, wiggling his fingers. 

“I am not doing this again.”

“You don’t want some finger action?” Ryis butted in from beside December. The table was formed in the same way as March and December’s previous arm wrestle.

“Ha!” the farmer barked, nudging the carpenter while March groaned. 

Ryis nudged back, forgetting that drunken December excused nobody from her antics. She hopped up from her seat, a little wobbly before catching her balance, and began to noogie him.

“Uncle! Uncle!” he cried through his laughter, frantically patting his assailant’s arms.

“Yeah? What?” Landen called from the bar.

“No, not literally—“ The nephew heard an Oof! as December’s knuckles disappeared from his scalp, and turned around to see March trying to wrangle  the squirmy farmer back into her seat. ”Huh?!” Ryis reacted, thoroughly amused.

“Arm wrestle me, coward!”

“Why? What are you trying to prove?!”

“I just like winning,” March boasted, lifting her up over his shoulders like a damn sack of potatoes during the last word. “C’mere.”

Immediately at the bar, Hemlock, Terithia, Errol and Landen held their breath and winced, hoping someone was ready to catch the farmer should March drop her. They all recognized his strength, but had yet to see him lift someone — and this was with alcohol in him, no less.

“Unhand me, you cretin!”

“Hey, is that a good workout?” Olric asked his brother.

Immediately distracted by the question, March unceremoniously plopped back into his own spot, transitioning December into a bridal carry before setting her down in his lap in one fluid motion. The onlookers let out a sigh of relief before getting back to their conversation. 

December, whose heart raced at her partner’s show of strength, absentmindedly fidgeted with the pendant he wore around his neck while he responded, “Eh, I guess.”

“I should lift Merri.”

“What if you lift Merri,” December paused to swallow back what was either a hiccup or a burp — she couldn’t say which, “while Merri lifts something else? Like, a chair, or something.”

“Oh!” Olric snapped, wagging an approving finger towards the farmer. “I like that.” 

December tapped her head and winked in response. March tapped her head too, and knowing she’d attempt to bite his finger, retracted it before she could get the chance. She pouted and slumped herself against him. 

“Comfy?” Balor asked December. 

Yes. She could’ve fallen asleep right there, in spite of the inn’s volume; and March was much less hellbent on defeating his nemesis now, as he was more focused on how warm she was, how soft her hair felt as it brushed his bare bicep, and how adorable she looked curled up atop him with her cheek against his collar, so he wouldn’t be opposed to it.

She nodded confidently, her smile dopey and dreamy as she began shimmying further inward to lessen the space where her body ended and March’s started. Once she was situated, March reached around to the table and grabbed his beer. Just as he was about to take a sip, though, December stole it and took her own.

“You’re lucky you’re cute, ‘cause you’re being a real shit head right now.” 

“Hm?” December feigned innocence, “What do you mean?”

“Sharing is caring, bro,” Olric flicked March’s closest arm.

December happily hummed while swallowing another swig, “Mhm!” It was after this that March put a stop to her thievery. 

“You two should drink some water,” Ryis suggested into a sip of his own.

”You should drink—“

“My balls,” December cut March off. 

She really was on another level that night. Perhaps the sickly sweet desserts she shared with Celine and Eiland earlier, paired with the sugary drinks Hemlock had served them, wasn’t the best combination in the world. 

Regardless, it had been fun, and it made December funny, thus leading to March nearly spitting his beer onto her after hearing her disruptive words.

“Do you even have balls?” Ryis asked, hesitating halfway through the sentence, but finishing it nonetheless.

“Gigantic ones.”

Dell overheard this from near the cauldron, and immediately began to plan a new heist with the Dragonguard: one in which they’d sneak onto December’s farm to steal her gigantic balls, as Dell could only assume at her young age that December meant the beach balls her cows and sheep played with. She’d never seen them herself, but Celine had mentioned them in passing. 

The three agreed this would put their failed mission to snoop through Balor’s room to shame.

Olric was closest to them, and burst out laughing in the wake of their clumsy whispers. Balor patted him on the back when it turned into a cough, his own beer having mixed with his air. 

“Is this true?” Balor mused to March, giving Olric’s back one last hearty rub for good measure.

“They’re like boulders,” he nodded, “Never seen anything like ‘em.”

December snorted, hiding her face in the crook of March’s neck. He instinctively leaned his head atop hers. 

“I can’t tell if you’re joking,” Ryis admitted through his laughter, his eyebrows upturned, “You can never know for sure!”

“Why do you wanna know so much about my girl’s huge balls?” March accused, jabbing the air in the carpenter’s direction. 

December nuzzled him a bit to cope with being called his girl, as though it would rid her belly of its fluttering.

“Morbid curiosity.” 

Balor nodded in agreement with Ryis. 

Olric nodded too, but he didn’t care all that much. He was more interested in learning something new about his brother by proxy of this. Love is love, he figured, and whether or not December had colossal nuts didn’t matter to him as long as March was happy. 

“Alright, alright,” December giggled into her hand before lifting her face again to diffuse any potential genitalia allegations, “I don’t have balls.”

“Aw, crap!” Dell — who had begun eavesdropping again upon hearing Ryis’ speculations — whisper-yelled.

“Dell!” Maple gasped, “You can’t just say that!” 

“Gods, help me,” Olric doubled over, hearing the Dragonguard once again. He crossed his arms on the table and dipped his face into them, muffling his laughter.

This time, March and December both heard the kids and reacted similarly, folding in on each other as they often seemed to during nights like these. They didn’t even know the context — the pair simply thought that the interaction was silly. Balor, as usual, maintained a lopsided grin, his cool demeanor masking how hard he was struggling to not crack up.

Ryis couldn’t hear Dell, therefore he had no idea what was going on. He tilted his head at Balor in hopes for context, but the merchant simply shook his head. 

Damn. 

He used whatever the distraction was as an opportunity to go grab some glasses and a water pitcher from Hemlock, determined to look out for his friends.

__

The couple went on with their usual routine to get a head-start on sobering up — junk food and lots of water — before they both headed to December’s. It was a Friday, so they’d stayed out a bit later than they would on any other night at the inn, as most of the town tended to; regardless, they had no intention to separate, March happily following the farmer inside her home the moment she suggested he hang out for a while longer. 

Upon being greeted by Goose, December scooped him up and patted a few kisses to his head. Then, she held the cat out slightly, giving March a blank look until he caved and did the same — first to Goose, and then, to her surprise, to her. Still tipsy and overall just teaching himself to loosen up a bit around her, March didn’t care much about how grossly cute the action was. It felt strange, sure, but as December smiled up at him — Goose observing him too, with those buggy eyes of his, and still cradled in her arms — and tip-toed to give his cheek a kiss, he couldn’t help but be happy he did it.

He noticed in that moment how often something like that happened… him acting on impulse around her, and being rewarded for it, in a way. He didn’t know what to make of it.

They proceeded to sit on the couch with some more water, chatting for a while. December yapped about a cool moth she’d found the other night. If Errol’s enclosures weren’t so humane, she wouldn’t have had the heart to donate it, she admitted. Luckily, he makes them with the bugs‘ comfort in mind, so she knew it would be happy and that she could go see it whenever she wanted to. 

March all but melted while he listened to December continue to ramble on about bugs — something he never thought would happen, especially given how genuinely annoyed he was when Errol began accepting her critters as donations. Feeling the need to one-up her accomplishment in practically filling the entire museum all by herself, he bragged about an order he got from Dell to make a dragon-shaped belt buckle, and how well that was going in spite of the challenge. 

Similarly to March, December couldn’t help but swoon a little. When he got fired up, his eyes would twinkle like stars and his brows would furrow, like he was as determined as he was excited to simply dump all his knowledge about his craft onto whoever would listen. His passion was palpable. 

The two momentarily wondered, though, how he was going to get paid for this particular project. He’d cut Holt some slack if Dell didn’t contribute, but came to the conclusion that he really should’ve asked about that first.

December, while grabbing a much-needed pain killer, talked about how it took her far too long to realize that the best way to fight those rock-spewing assholes in the mines was to parry them, which is why she always had such scuffed swords. March, inviting her to lean against him when she arrived back, explained how upset Olric was that he got hit by those during his and December’s trip down there. He made it a point to lightly scold her too, for not being more careful with the fruits of her labor. 

He knew she didn’t enjoy forging her own equipment. He also knew she’d be damned if she ever purchased anything he made.

As they grew more weary, they’d begun to rely on one another to support each other’s weight, similarly to the last time they’d found themselves in this situation. Luckily, they had much less to worry about now, given how much closer they’d gotten from that night-onward. The lack of uncertainty was nothing short of a gift.

December’s body dragged lower and lower until she eventually had her head on the smith’s tummy. His own form had sunk far enough that his legs were barely even on the furniture anymore, so this was her best resting spot at the moment, really. March was also at an awkward angle, now, where he was half-laying back and half-leaning his weight onto his side, allowing them to easily look at each other while they tangled together.

He watched fondly as December fought sleep, doing her best to listen to his stories and stay coherent with her responses. He was convinced he was hiding his own weariness well, but December could see through the facade even in her barely-there state.

“Stay over?” she eventually mumbled, beginning to worry about his walk home. 

“Mmhn—“ he tried to answer — with what words, he had no clue — his head failing to stay entirely upright and his grip on December's thigh loosening.

She huffed a laugh through her nose, unable to help how cute she thought he was like this.

She reluctantly straightened before tugging his hand. “C’mon,” she insisted.

With a groan, March leaned up, and with some effort, they both stood tall. Goose had been on the cat tree beside them and got up as well, stretching and readying himself to follow them to bed.

December barely had it in her to change into pajamas, thus simply stripping herself of her bra and jeans before clamoring onto the mattress. March had no pajamas. Aside from a few baggy sweaters that it was far too warm for, none of the farmer’s clothes would fit him, so he found himself beside her in nothing but his boxer-briefs.

This was their first sleepover, the two simultaneously realized as Goose settled in with them. They’d had accidental naps together a small handful of times, but had yet to wake up side-by-side after a full night of rest. As December scooted back to be spooned, and March readily engulfed her in his arms, she smiled to herself, excited for how domestic this felt. How right it felt.

And as they woke up about eight hours later, having slept in until ten with their legs tied and heads foggy; as they took turns using December’s toothbrush, and then took an innocent shower together, washing their grogginess away; as March helped December harvest and water her crops, before getting started on breakfast while she released her animals to graze and frolic; March realized that this was exactly what he’d daydreamed of the last time he lingered here after a rowdy night at the inn.

Back then, he was worried by those thoughts. 

Back then, December rarely even had them — albeit, in her case, it was only because she never thought this would be possible, and didn’t want to get her hopes up for a future that didn’t exist. Her lacking daydreams about March were a defense mechanism, in a way.

Now, March welcomed his hopes and feelings, just as he welcomed his partner back inside, tugging her to stand between his arms as he topped their bowls of rice and greens with an egg each. 

Now, December welcomed such thoughts in the first place, especially as they sat on the bench she kept near Caldarus, sharing their meal and each other’s company beneath her fruit trees. She thought of what the future could bring. How many times they’d come to spend their earliest hours of the day together. Maybe they’d be each other’s people until the day they died, and grow old together, and make a routine of mornings just like this one.

She peeked up at March at that thought and was temporarily stunned, as though she’d looked at the sun itself. The rays that seeped through their leafy shade framed him perfectly, accentuating his warm undertones with a soft, welcoming light, similar to that of his forge’s fire. 

Feeling eyes on him, March reciprocated. On the opposite end of the spectrum entirely, he noticed how even in the shade, December seemed to glow. She was the moon, his beacon of light in the dark, with each smile and laugh that graced her face being a new phase in its cycle. She shifted phases then and there, and the tenderness in her eyes paired with the curve of her lips flustered March.

“What are you looking at?” he deflected, his cheeks warm. 

“Nothing much.”

“Oi,” he nudged her with a light elbow before scruffing up her hair.

“Oi yourself!” December laughed, lightly slapping his hand until he stopped. 

She promptly leaned against him once he’d settled down. March didn’t hesitate to wrap his arm around her shoulders and rest his cheek into her scalp, his thumb rubbing circles on her shoulder in the meantime. 

Happily existing in silence, they took in nature’s song while they watched the distant river flow, December’s animals play, and the pink petals that wafted over from the cherry blossoms around town dancing in the breeze. They were cozy like this, but more importantly, they were cozy together.

[desire-mona]

siiiigh. todd autism headcanons because im projecting.

(using they/he/she pronouns for todd in this post. will explain but also if u dont agree i dont care, tw for alcoholism. time period is vague but autism hasnt existed as a legitimate medical diagnosis for all that long, so keep it in mind i guess.)

- cannot for the life of him stand welton's blankets. so itchy, just thin enough to not warm you up enough but still make you sweat, not long enough to cover your entire body. yes im making the blanket line in their poem about actual blankets, a boy needs to vent somewhere.

- beyond terrible temperature regulation, ALWAYS just a little too hot which is made worse by her sensory issues when it comes to wet fabric. constant slight agony and it never really goes away. theyre about 5 minutes away from crying about how uncomfortable they are at all times.

- had god awful handwriting until high school, like his teachers could BARELY read his handwriting it was Bad. OOOOOH OH MY GOD THERES A TRAIN GOING BY I CAN HEAR IT HONKING this is a really ironic thing to be pointing out rn but its sooooo worth mentioning. its still honking this is fun. 🚂. anyway. her parents made her spend an entire summer fixing her handwriting bc that was like the One thing her teachers criticised. its Fine now but their motor function simply doesn't deliver in the handwriting department.

- had a VERY INTENSE special interest in aquatic life + marine biology growing up, like read every book about any ocean animal in any library intense. his parents eventually forced him to abandon it because its "not a good career focus" but he still perks up when anyone mentions fish. once talked neils ear off about the biodiversity of coral reefs for roughly 2 hours, neil took her to an aquarium for their first date. rip todd anderson you wouldve loved spongebob squarepants.

- looooves pets, namely cats, but they have Too Sweaty hands all the time so any animal fur sticks onto their hands and just feels. so awful.

- had a brief period in his 20s where he was definitely an alcoholic, started as a social drinker but got too addicted to the feeling of not having to adhere to social conventions quite as hard, especially around other drunk ppl. eventually went sober after they realised they just Cant Stand the feeling of a hangover anymore. autistic ppl r more likely to develop a dependency on alcohol if we do start drinking. just btw.

- gets a Pretty Expansive vocabulary after actually starting to pursue literature. sometimes his family lightly teases him about using big words but it confuses the hell out of him. its just a word she thought would apply best!!

- soooooo obsessed with what other ppls idea of them is, both in an anxious way and out of genuine curiosity. would never ask ppl what they think of her bc she thinks thats 1) very broad 2) seems compliment fish-y and 3) just gonna lead to "i think ur great/ nice/ whatever filler compliment." but the dream is to sit someone (neil) down and just ask him every single question possible about how he perceives him.

- asks a billion clarifying questions about anything someone asks him to do, gets anxious about how many questions he's asking, tries to just figure it out, freaks out about the possibility of getting it wrong, ends up doing the thing perfectly. weekly occurrence.

- never fully grasped the appeal of religion (most definitely grew up catholic or christian or Something) just bc she could NOT let the lack of proof go. ALSO not an atheist bc the vastness of space scares them out of it. religious beliefs r a weird topic for them.

- suppresses a good chunk of his stims in public bc One total time someone looked at him weird while he was chewing on a sweatshirt string and he was like i gotta stop NOW. eventually develops tics and has to mask THOSE in public too. dear god someone let this girl unmask. also i started ticcing while writing that bc my body does this great thing where i only tic when im reminded of the concept of ticcing. its great and totally doesnt make me think im faking them (faking for who? dunno bc it usually happens when im alone)

- DOES in fact stim around neil bc NEIL STIMS TOO!!!!!!!! joyous day when they found THAT out! gets vocal stims of random lines from whatever play neil is practicing for. YEAA ART THOU THEEEEREE was a vocal stim for a solid week and a half which made neil VERY excited (autistic neil. how i love u autistic anderperry)

- velcro is The most evil vile disgusting material to ever grace this mortal realm. he hates it more than anything ever and i mean that fully. the feeling of BOTH sides, the noise, how easily it comes apart, she hates it all.

this is the gender part

never really viewed gender and gender roles as anything to adhere to beyond the fear of punishment if they dont. finds any social convention relating to gender to be Really dumb and meaningless, bc gender isn't (scientifically) real in any capacity, so why treat it like that? for the longest time just shrugged and said "eh, i guess im a boy" bc thats what she was used to being told, and didn't feel particularly drawn to agree OR disagree. eventually realised on a late night that Wait. i dont Actually care what i am. like yeah im a Male i guess but also im just me. my brain doesnt have a gender and i basically am my brain, right? and then never really thought about it again because that's genuinely how little he cares. adhering the most to canon with that mindset, she never really tells anyone (for obvious reasons on top of the overall apathy) and just lets the he/him happen to her but. in my dream world? agender they/he/she todd anderson. and this is MY blog so those are the pronouns im using from now on. i will forever love talking abt how autistic ppl very often view gender differently than allistic ppl, will forever love talking abt how autistic ppl are more likely to be trans. autism!!!

also yes that entire paragraph is just my view of gender, change the pronouns and the todd mentions and its just me. what of it.

[five-rivers]

(1/3) I. Uh. Have an idea for a sequel to the pep talk short? Post-Kamino, Izuku is down on himself because he doesn't feel like a worthy successo to All Might. He's in some public space when a boy (Danny) asks him what's up and Izu (trying to keep ofa secret) says he's upset about how everyone talks about AM like he's dead. Danny (hiding everything about himself including seeing the vestiges) jumps on the topic, talking about everything awesome about him that didn't come from the quirk.

(2/3) (And yes, the vestiges add a lot, especially Nana) But he also manages to work in helping Izu (by talking generally about the emerging generation of young heroes) (Btw, Clockwork warned him about not mentioning his 'quirk' because he's a bad liar and Izu would poke holes in that story in 10 seconds) What Danny wasn't warned about is that Izuku was in that public space because he was waiting to meet up with Toshinori, who heard everything and recognized his friend from middle school.

(3/3) (maybe he confronts him or maybe he's just grateful for whatever kind of divine intervention this is)

Izuku’s hands trembled.  Which was.  A thing.  Had been a thing for a while, now, actually.  Since the sports festival.  

The fight against Muscular had made it worse.  

Not that he regretted saving Kouda or anything!  The opposite, really!  It was just...  He wished he had found some way to do it without shattering his arms.  Again.  

(Something dark within him whispered, go for his eyes.  The only muscles there are in the iris, and clearly they aren’t enough.  Take the prosthetic and slam it into-)

(No, he had said back, unwilling to go that far.  Unwilling to mutilate another human being to that extent, even a murderer.)

He winced internally, and rubbed his palm with his opposite hand.  He wondered if All Might, if Toshinori-san, ever thought like this about All for One.  

Probably.  

“-Kamino,” said someone passing behind the bench, taking quietly to the person they were walking with.  “It’s such a shame.”

“I know.  I just can’t believe he’s gone-”

This time, Izuku’s wince was external.  Ever since the Kamino Ward incident, he’d been overhearing conversations like that one.  More than once, he’d been on the receiving end of a conversation like that one.  Especially if he was out in public and in his UA uniform.  

Which he wasn’t right now.  He was in a low-key All Might brand hoodie.  For some reason, he’d been reluctant to wear the more... obvious ones anywhere Toshinori-san could see him.  That’d just be weird, right?

A pair of feet come into Izuku’s line of sight, and he looks up, surprised, to see a Caucasian boy standing in front of him.  The boy has black hair and blue eyes almost bright enough to rival All Might’s.  He is, perhaps, a year or two younger than Izuku.  

“Hi,” said the boy, waving.  “Are you okay?” he asked in flawless and unaccented Japanese.  

“Uh,” said Izuku.  “Y-yeah!  I’m fine.  Why?” 

“You looked kind of upset,” said the boy.  “Especially when those two girls walked by behind you.”  He tilted his head.  “Want to talk about it?  My sister says that sometimes it helps.  She’s studying to be a psychologist.”

“I don’t know...” said Izuku.  

“That’s okay,” said the boy, shrugging.  He sat down on the bench next to Izuku, a thick stream of mist emerging from his mouth as he did so.  He seemed unbothered by this.  “We could talk about something else.  Distractions are good, too.”

Izuku opened his mouth.  Closed it.  Frowned.  Well, if there was anything he was good at, it was chasing people off.

“Oh,” said the boy.  “I can sense quirks.  When someone with a quirk gets close to me, my body temperature drops.”  He shrugged.  “You dropped my body temperature a lot.  Your quirk is really strong.”

Izuku hunched his shoulders, too distracted by the last sentence to even start analyzing the boy’s (really cool!) quirk.  ‘His’ quirk.  If All Might had still had it at Kamino, would things have gone better?  Would he still be able to do hero work?

How much had Izuku taken from him?

“I bet a lot of people tell you that, though.”

Izuku startled.  Somehow, he’d forgotten the boy was even there.  

“It’s like...”  The boy trailed off, staring upward.  “It’s like, sometimes, people don’t see each other.  They only see quirks.  Strong quirks, weak quirks, villainous quirks, heroic quirks.  No quirk.  It’s silly, isn’t it?”

“What do you mean?” asked Izuku.  “Are you saying quirks don’t matter?”  The first fourteen years of his life would like to disagree.

“No,” said the boy.  “They matter a lot.  Saying they didn’t would be like saying money doesn’t matter, or social status doesn’t matter.  But they’re not everything.  They’re not even the most important thing.”  The boy leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees and resting his chin on his interlocked fingers.  “The most important thing is what you do with what you’ve got.  If someone has a quirk that can save thousands of lives, but they don’t use it, they can’t say they’re better than someone who has no quirk but saves someone anyway, don’t you think?  Even if it’s just one person.”

Izuku was flabbergasted, because that speech was far too tailored to him to random.  

“I mean, my sister is quirkless,” continued the boy.  “Ha, you probably don’t want to hear about my family, when you’ve got your own things to worry about.  Anyway, even if everyone is telling you that you have to use your quirk in one way, or they’re heaping all these expectations on you, all that matters is what you decide to do with it.  Or yourself.  Like, there’s this one astrophysicist I read about that has this really wild quirk that everybody said meant she had to go into manufacturing, but she didn’t want to, and she had the brains for physics, so-”

Izuku listened to the boy ramble.  It was actually kind of soothing.  Okay.  He needed to dial back his paranoia.  

“-does that make sense?” finished the boy.

“Y-yeah,” said Izuku.  “But, um.  What was bothering me, it wasn’t my quirk.”  This would be fine, right?  It wasn’t like he’d actually say he was talking about All Might.  “It was...  I have a friend, and he’s sick, but...  Everyone is talking about him like he’s already dead, and he’s not.  What they said, it reminded me of that.  It’s just... frustrating.”

“Yikes,” said the boy.  “I don’t really have any advice for that.  It’s hard to change other people’s minds.”  The boy sighed, and the sound felt much older than it had any right to be.  

“Daniel Fenton?”

Izuku whipped around at the sound of Toshinori-san’s voice.  The skeletal man was standing several feet to the right of the bench and had dropped one of the two ice cream cones he had been holding.  

“Oops,” said the boy, on the other side of Izuku.  “Guess I stayed a bit too long.”

Despite his injuries, Toshinori was at Izuku’s side in an instant, pulling him off the bench and pushing himself between Izuku and the boy.  Daniel?  Fenton?

The boy had jumped away as well, and was regarding Toshinori-san with something between consternation and amusement.  

“Who are you?” demanded All Might.  “Why do you look like that?”

“Hey,” said the boy, “that’s kind of rude, don’t you think, Toshinori-kun?  You’re the one that said my name.”

“Daniel Fenton is my age,” said All Might, glaring, his hand tightening around Izuku’s wrist.  Izuku activated just the barest percentage of One for All, readying himself for a fight.  “What are you playing at?”

“Well, if you’re going to be technical about it, I’m way older.”  He held up his hands.  “I don’t mean any harm.  Really.  Anyway, as long as I don’t have to beat around the bush, Midoriya-san, One for All didn’t clear this beach.  One for All didn’t save Bakugo-san, or Asui-san, or Kouda-kun.  One for All certainly didn’t convince this idiot to take care of himself, even a little bit.  That was all you.”  He pointed at Izuku.

... Were those finger guns?  Was this guy seriously throwing finger guns at him?

Scratch that, who was this guy and how did he know so much?!

“Are you working for All for One?” demanded All Might.  

“Gross.  No.  Never even met the guy.”

“Then how do you have two quirk?” asked Izuku.  “Longevity, and whatever you did with the mist.”

The boy shrugged, careful to keep his hands half raised and obvious about it.  “The guy I actually work for can do time travel.  ‘Work for’ is kind of a weird way to put it, though.  It’s more like, he’s my mentor?  Same sort of set up as you guys have.”

“Time travel?” exclaimed Izuku.  He’d never heard of a time travel quirk before.  

“I mean, there’s a reason for that,” said the boy, and Izuku blushed as he realized he’d spoken out loud.  “And you will.  It was really nice talking to you, Midoriya-san!  And it was great seeing you again, Toshinori-kun.  But I’m going to be picked up any se-”

The boy vanished.  

“Um,” said Izuku after several long seconds, “All Might?  Who was that?”

“I...” said Toshinori.   “You know what?  That’s a great question.”

[social-holland]

Hate

Pairing: Zendaya  x Female! Reader

Warning: Angst, Angst, Angst with a little bit of fluff.

Summary:  Hate comments is what you receive daily being the girlfriend of Zendaya, what happens when one day Z replys to it  and you can’t hold back anymore.

Word count: 1797

A/N: I’m so awful and this is so late. I’m sorry, Jess! This is for @underoosbws 3k celebration! Please check her out, her writing is amazing. Especially Untitled!

My prompt btw was: “You’re my boyfriend/girlfriend, I shouldn’t be trying this hard to get your attention.”

To say that Zendaya’s and your relationship was on a rough patch was one of the most understatements of the year. What once was one of the best, if not the best, relationship you ever had turned to heartache in just a few months.

There was not one single problem that made it that way it was now. Just different things that tend to pop up with even worse timing. Turning this things into arguments and every so often even full on fights.

But these arguments and fights were starting to take a toll on you. You disliked fights. Always had and always will.

Why making a big scene, yell and throw things at your loved one when you might as well could solve it with a discussion and a good compromise for both sides?

Sometimes even sacrifice your own happiness to make you significant other happy. That’s what you wanted. Make Zendaya happy and give her everything you could.

All the yelling and arguing and crying tired you out. Adding extreme fan hate on different social media platform and you crumbling self-doubt and mental health problems and you have the perfect recipe for disaster.

At this point you were barely making it out of bed to go to university or your job every day. Trying your best. Your days consisted of getting up, trying to make yourself look at least presentable and making your way to class. Trying to follow the best you could to follow the lectures, every so often looking for a sign from Z.

Catching up with friends, trying not to show them in what kind of state you were. You didn’t want to talk with anyone about it. This was your relationship and even through this were your friends…Z and you were still public. And the public did not like that or better you at all.

On a daily basis you get comments from strangers on how Zendaya’s girlfriend was not good enough for her. That their Queen needed someone better at her side and why should would go out with someone like you. Someone without a career, not being pretty enough or other stuff people liked to call the person next to Z.

She didn’t seem to see it. At least that’s what you assumed until one morning. Z had just come back from filming the new Spiderman movie and you had been separated for a long time since you were not able to fly out.

As a celebration to welcome her back Z, her family, a few friends and you went for a nice dinner the night before. Originally planned as the two of celebrating her birthday belated together, it turned out that she had invited a few more people.

Usually that would have not bother you. You loved her family and her friends plus you wanted her to be happy. But having gone through all the things the last few months, it all in all you were upset over it.

Not wanting to ruin the celebration, you sucked it up and tried to be happy for her. The key word was tried. It turned out that you didn’t get to spend a minute with her until both of you arrived back at home.

You didn’t wait up that night and went straight to bed. At this point you were ready to just cry. You felt ridiculous of being this way. You really should talk to her and that’s what you planned to do the next morning.

A good and comforting talk to get the differences out of the way.  At least that’s what you believed until you woke up the next morning and she was not there. Probably already awake and planning something. You turned around to your bedside table to reach for your phone.

When you opened twitter, the usual hate strolled your way. That was at least until you saw Z replying to one of them. It was a single word which make you take off.

LOL

Just one word, not even a word.

You got out of bed and dressed. This was the final straw. You just had to talk to her. Ultimately deciding that it would be better to have a least a little bit of something in your stomach before calling her.

As you made her way down to the kitchen, you see her sitting on a loveseat in the living room. Every word you had prepared in your head disappeared, months of being unhappy and not satisfied with anything collided at her as you spoke.

“What the hell, Zendaya?”

She finally looked at you and flinched at what she saw. Y/N was standing behind the coach. Her eyes were glazed. She was shaking, her right hand put into a fist. Nails pressing into her flesh. Hurting herself. In the left hand was her phone pressed.

That’s when Z saw how broken her girlfriend appeared. The backs under her eyes were evident. You were drained, and she had never seen you like that. It shocked her to say the least. You are her everything and how could she not recognize that something seemed off with you.

Your red eyes started to tear. Zendaya stood up from her place, wanting you close, to hug you. But you were having none of it. You took a step back, hugging your waist.

“Why would you do that?” Her eyes brows furrowed. “Do what?” She was honestly confused over what you were referring, too. A sob escaped you. “Why would you support a hater?”

Her eyebrows furrowed over your comments. She was confused about what you were talking. As well as over your state of being. She knew that you seemed off the last night as well as the past two months, but your comment baffled her.

“What are you talking about, love?” She takes one of your hands into her. Caressing it and taking you with her to sit on the loveseat.

You focus on your lap. Her hands still holding yours as you start to speak. “T-The tweet y-you posted. Why w-would you do that.” Tears starting to escape from your eyes as you hold your phone to her. Showing what you referring to.

She takes it. The confused look returns as she scrolls over it. As Zendaya goes through it, you just start to ramble at her. You couldn’t stop yourself and it needed to get out, now.

“I do understand that there is a lot for you to take care of and what comes with being famous. But you’re my girlfriend, I shouldn’t be trying this hard to get your attention. This hate is too much, and I feel like I can’t keep up with you anymore. I want you to be happy, I-I really d-do. It starts to feel like that I’m just not good enough anymore and I don’t know how to fix it.”

At this point you lost it. Sobbing like hell and not able to stop it. Zendaya put your phone away before slinging her arms around you. Holding you with your head pressed into her neck. Your arms slung around her waist as well. Making fists with her T-shirt.

She didn’t say anything for a while just letting you cry.

Eventually as you start to tire yourself out, the sobs subsiding, she starts to talk. “Love, first of all…” You press your eyes shut, not ready for what about to come. You try to back away from her but she is strongly holding you. “You are good enough.”

A breath escapes you. That’s when Zendaya leans back and takes your face in your hands, cupping your cheeks. “You. Are. Good. Enough.” She speaks again. “I’m sorry that I made you feel this way.” You are fast to interrupt her. “This is not your fault. I’m s..”

“Don’t you even dare to say that.” She presses her forehead against yours. “I know that we on a rough patch lately. It thought my tweet would help but you probably didn’t even read the rest of it.” Her voice was soft, and her hands were trying to comfort you while going through your hair, playing with it. Her eyes carefully watching you.

Your eyebrows were furrowed at her answer. “What are you talking about?”

She leaned back from you and took your phone before scrolling for a moment and placing it in your hand. A second tweet right under the first one she had send appearing.

Funny of you to assume that my girlfriend is not gorgeous. She truly is amazing and I love her. Attached to it was a picture of both of you, celebrating your birthday last year. Both having huge smiles on your faces and hugging each other. You knew it was her favourite picture.

You felt like honestly throwing your head against the wall. So stupid.

Placing the phone back on the table, you placed your elbows on your knees and let your head falls into your hands. You felt embarrassed to say the least.

“Don’t.” Z whispered to you. She put one arm around your back before placing her head on her shoulder. “I’m so stupid” You whispered. Your hands pressed against your face, voice sounding muffled.

“Y/N/N, you are not stupid. Guessing from what you said earlier this has been happening for a while. What didn’t you say something?” She questioned you. Always in a soft tone and, stroking your back.

“B-Because this are your fans and they are important. I wanted you to be happy.” She signed over your words. “People like this are not my fans, love. Fans support, not hate. And how in the world can I be happy, if you are not?”

“Don’t know.” You whispered which made her laugh. “Exactly.” Zendaya took one of your hands, giving it a kiss.

“Could you at least look at me, please? I want to see your pretty face.” She begged. “It’s not. There is snot and tears.” You answered, now looking at her.

She took your face in her hands, cupping your cheeks. “Still as beautiful as ever.” You could see Z’s eyes twinkling for a bit before she pressed a chaste kiss against your lips and tip of your nose.

Your arms, still around her waist, pressed her closer against you. Inhaling her sweet scent. “I’m sorry for accusing you of not supporting me.” You whispered.

Z hugged you back. “It’s okay.”

You knew it was. And everything would be better than okay eventually. There is a huge pile that you both needed to work on to go through this patch, but you would. Because you both, all in all, you loved each other. And when you truly love someone, you do every little thing in your power to let that relationship thrive.

Thank you for reading. Please, tell me what you liked/disliked about it. :)

Permanent Tag List: @tomhollanduniverse @spideytaeh @smexylemony @marvelismylifffe @lavieenbananabread @tommyboyholland

[mslaurynhill]

I’ve remained patient and quiet for a very long time, allowing people to talk, speculate, and project, while keeping my nose to the grindstone fighting for freedoms many folks aren’t even aware matter. The arrogance of presumption that allows someone to think that they could have all the facts about another person’s life and experience, is truly and remarkably... presumptuous. 

People can sometimes confuse kindness for weakness, and silence for weakness as well. When this happens, I have to speak up.

I apologize for the delay in getting this posted, I was late in hearing about it. I understand this is long, but my last interview was over a decade ago…

‘Addressing Robert Glasper and other common misconceptions about me (in no particular order)’

By Ms. Lauryn Hill

-It’s not completely informed, but he’s entitled to his perception. Context certainly helps though.

-You may be able to make suggestions, but you can’t write FOR me. I am the architect of my creative expression. No decisions are made without me. I hire master builders and masterful artisans and technicians who play beautifully, lend their technical expertise, and who translate the language that I provide into beautifully realized music.

-These are my songs, musicians are brought in because of the masterful way that they play their instruments. I’m definitely looking for something specific in musicians, and I absolutely do hire the best musicians I can find. Not every band had that particular ‘something’ I was looking for. That doesn’t make them bad musicians, just different than what I needed in that particular moment.

-The Miseducation was the first time I worked with musicians outside of the Fugees who’s report and working relationship was clear. In an effort to create the same level of comfort, I may not have established the necessary  boundaries and may have been more inviting than I should have been. In hindsight, I would have handled it differently for the removal of any confusion. And I have handled it differently since, I’m clear and I make clear before someone walks in the door what I am and am not looking for. I may have been inclusive, but these are my songs.

-I have come across the occasional musician who thinks they already know what I want, feelings and egos can be easily bruised when you tell them they actually don’t. I am never trying to intentionally hurt anyone’s feelings btw, but when people insist that they know you and don’t, you may have to be equally as firm to demonstrate otherwise.

-I am paying for a service, and looking for something SPECIFIC, which isn’t up to someone else’s interpretation or opinion. I have my own idea of what works for me. That shouldn’t offend. 

-And I definitely don’t like to fire anyone. It did take me meeting a lot of people over a number of years to find the right musicians, but my current band has been with me for a long time, the newest members probably 2/3 years, some as long as 7/8 years now. I was looking for a similar natural chemistry with new musicians that I’d had with the Fugees and Miseducation bands. I’d literally grown up with some of those musicians. That isn’t easy to find.

-In 2008, I had only a young man helping me and my Mother, after disbanding my former support staff. No idea why any musician would have had knowledge of what I was being paid, not sure what he’s saying is accurate. Don’t have the details or recollection of cutting the band’s pay in half. If fees had been negotiated and confirmed without my knowledge, I may have asked for them to be adjusted. But I would never just cut a musician’s pay arbitrarily unless I had a legitimate reason. There are artists who do cut pay though, James Brown was notorious for docking musicians if they did something he didn’t like, I’m sure there are others.

-It was necessary for me to reestablish trust and cultivate a new environment. I was looking to challenge myself artistically. I was also openly challenging music industry norms. I’d left ‘the machine’. With ‘it’ went some polish, but the cause we were fighting for, creative integrity, was worth far more than a little polish to me. 

-When you’re a popular artist or public figure, people can sometimes forget that you’re hiring them to perform a service, and that you’re not the one there to entertain THEM. I didn’t scream or yell. Maybe I didn’t provide the experience that a musician may have wanted or expected during that time, but I was straight-forward, direct, and about the business at hand. 

-Making my art is a labor of Love, but it’s still labor, and can be labor-intensive at that. If a musician was looking for a cushy job filled with the same trappings I was purposely weaning myself from, we wouldn’t have been on the same page anyway. Make no mistake, addiction is a common snare laid to dismantle the integrity of artists. My environment, at that time, operated more like a rehabilitation clinic than an after-party.

-I don’t think most people, perhaps not even some celebrated artists, are aware of the battle it takes to be an artist and remain true to what you really think. I don’t even ‘practice’ small talk, so I’m never confused with someone who can be seduced. There are traps all around, what could look like a successful career in entertainment today, could be an addictive lifestyle of convenience attempting to control you tomorrow. I set the tone with every band that working for fame and accolades is a different walk than fighting for personal integrity and making art that doesn’t compromise itself for money.

-I’m confused as to why such a principled musician, who thought I ‘stole’ from his friends, would show up to work for me anyway. 🤔 If that was hypocrisy or opportunism instead of genuine interest, it would further explain why an artist would feel the need to put his or her guard up.

-No matter how incredible the musicians who play with me are, MY name is on the marquee. The expectation to make it all come together is on me. The risk and the financial losses are on me. Hence, MY VIBE, though not the only consideration, is the priority. Few people actually know what this road is like, but many want to judge and comment, having never done it. Try doing what I’ve done yourself. If nothing else, you will gain some insight into and respect for my process.

-During the time in question, I also believe I was playing a lot of new music with controversial content. FOR ME, rehearsal was about readying myself for the battle I knew I was entering into for simply not allowing a system to pimp me. If I was on edge, I had good reason to be.-Perhaps my seriousness and militancy in the face of tremendous resistance was misinterpreted as meanness, or that I was unloving or uncaring, when my true intent was to protect. I wouldn’t be the first Black person accused of this. I don’t think of Harriet Tubman’s skills as those of a hostess, but rather her relentless dedication to helping people who wanted out of an oppressive paradigm. #IGETOUT

-People also unwilling to ‘play the game’ might have found that environment refreshing. Straight talk isn’t devoid of Love, it’s just devoid of bullsh#t.

-And just to clear up an old urban legend that somehow people still believe, I do not hate white people. I do, however, despise a system of entitlement and oppression set up to exploit people who are different. I do loathe the promotion and preservation of said system at the expense of other people, and the racist and entitled attitudes it gives rise to. The lengthy history of unfairness and brutality towards people of color, especially Black people, has not been fully acknowledged or corrected. The expectation is for us to live with abuse, distortion, and deliberate policies, meant to outright control and contain us—like we're not aware of our basic right to freedom. I resist and reject THESE ideas completely. Like many Black people, I work to reconcile my own generational PTSD. I do my best to Love, pursue freedom in body, Spirit and mind... and to confront. To repress everything  in the name of 'getting along' is to deny our right to healing. It's an ugly, distorting and complicated history at best. We've been shaped by it for better or worse. I just choose not to pretend that it's not there in order to maintain public approval and gain economic advantage. My true white friends and colleagues and I discuss these schemes and machinations, and the distrust that people of color would naturally have toward such a system and towards those who agree with it. We don't run from those conversations, we run into them, which is why I can call them friends and colleagues. Within these relationships I can be my complete self, and not a splintered individual/soul repressing the truth about generations and generations of abuse.

-There were lots of issues both personal and in the world of entertainment during that period that needed resolve. I was definitely going through a significant transition. I no longer felt safe.

-There’s an entire album about that, it’s documented and called Lauryn Hill MTV Unplugged. For some, the Unplugged album provided useful insight during dark times, gave important context on some real but hidden issues, and helped people going through personal struggles, because I’d exposed myself in such a raw and vulnerable state. -Who are you to say I didn’t do enough? Most people are probably just hearing your name for the first time because you dropped MINE in an interview, controversially. Taking nothing away from your talent, but this is a fact. 

-The Miseducation was my only solo studio album, but it certainly wasn’t the only good thing I did. 

-I was also a member of the Fugees, another groundbreaking, multi-platinum selling group, who bridged social and cultural gaps, and were ambassadors of hip-hop all around this planet. We laid important groundwork upon which an entire generation of artists and musicians still stand. We broke through conventions and challenged limited world views every time we played.

-The song To Zion gave encouragement to women during challenging pregnancies. There are children who were given a chance at life because their Mothers experienced moral and emotional support through this song. -What about the image of Black women in hip hop? When exposure and sexualization of the Black female body was the standard, SOMEONE stood up and represented a different image entirely, giving a generation of young women options and alternatives of self-representation. #AMNESIA 

-And let’s not forget that I am a mother of 6…

-Not only have I been instrumental in pushing forward the culture of live music in hip-hop for decades now, but I’ve been traveling with and employing a large band for many years, despite the economic challenges in doing so. Others have followed in my footsteps, seeing the value of live music.

-Show me an artist working now who hasn’t been directly influenced by the work I put in, and I’ll show you an artist who’s been influenced by an artist who was directly influenced by the work that I put in. I was and continue to be a door opener, even if the blind don’t see it, and the prideful are too proud to admit it. I lived this, you watched this and heard about it. 

-97.9 The Box, feel free to not play my music if you agree that ‘I haven’t done enough.’

-I never told anyone not to look me in the eye, that may have been something someone said assuming what I wanted. However, I would understand why an artist would say that. It’s about reaching a level of vulnerability while making or playing your art, and not wanting to worry about being examined while you’re in that process. -There are plenty of people, I’m sure, who THINK they know me. This can happen when you do anything that people Love or feel they can relate to. Their perception of me, however, doesn’t make it my reality. Sister Act II is a movie. Rita Watson is a character I played...in a movie, for those confusing that with real life.

-And yes, Ms. Hill was absolutely a requirement. I was young, Black and female. Not everyone can work for and give the appropriate respect to a person in that package and in charge. It was important, especially then, for that to be revealed early. 

-I adore Stevie, and honor Herbie and Quincy, who are our forebears, but they’re not women. Men often can say ‘I want it done like this’ and not be challenged. The same rules don’t always apply for women who may be met with resistance. When this happens you replace that player with someone who respects you and the office you hold.

-My approach to making music is non-traditional, possibly non-linear, and more a product of my heart, soul, and experience gained through doing, than something I was taught in a formal school setting. Not much different than the genre of hip-hop itself. 

-I never held myself out as some accomplished guitar player, I play to articulate better to seasoned players what I want. It’s an instrument I learned without any real lessons or instruction. I play in an unorthodox manner and use it as a writing tool. Couldn’t or didn’t tune my own guitar? That sounds like an assumption. 

-I take rehearsal seriously, I take performance seriously, I take my art seriously. My particular preparation process suits me. To each his or her own. My goal is to feel confident and free on stage. 

-I don’t think my process is for everyone, which is why band selection is so important. It’s not just about how well someone plays, but also their attitude. I’m not offended when people say it’s not for them, no more than they should be offended when I say this doesn’t work for me. 

-Auditioning, btw, may have nothing to do with how good a musician is. If a musician isn’t accomplished, he or she wouldn’t have been called. An audition or meeting could be about whether we vibe well, whether they understood my particular musical vernacular or direction at the time. I could have a jazz beast on keys, who couldn’t necessarily play reggae or some other musical style I also incorporated into my performances.-My sound is eclectic, I’ve been influenced by a wide variety of music. Like language, music isn’t always easily translatable. Someone could be a great player, but lack the ability to capture the feel or groove of a particular style. 

-I’m attracted to musicians that are open and excited to try new things. When people think they already know what needs to be known, and aren’t interested in exploring what I’m into, that’s fine, but it doesn’t work for my band.  

-A fair weather band is a complete impracticality, a liability even. I’m expected, through my art, to pour out the depths of my soul. Some days that’s easier than others. If the crew of people supporting me aren’t built for that walk, they shouldn’t be there. #Realtalk. Some people vibe well together, some don’t. It’s ok. Ignorant patriarchy is a b#tch though, I could speak volumes…

-My standards are too high, and my process too idiosyncratic, not to work with people who really want to be there. When I don’t have that, I keep searching until I find them.

-I remix my songs live because I haven’t released an album in several years. There’s a ton of backstory as to why, but there’s no way I could continue to play the same songs over and over as long as I’ve been performing them without some variation and exploration. I’m not a robot. If I’d had additional music out, perhaps I would have kept them as they were. I didn’t, so I revise and rearrange them according to what I’m feeling in that moment. This way, my performances are heartfelt and authentic, not me just going through the motions. I can’t imagine why that would be a foreign concept to anyone who appreciates jazz. 

-And the myth that I’m not allowed to play the original versions of my songs is...a myth (anyone who’s seen my current show knows this).

-There can also be an energetic or emotional transference when I perform, and it can be heavy/weighty at times. As an artist, I’m tasked with bringing a different vibration into the space that transcends this. Not an easy gig but an important one. I can imagine there are people who value this process and don’t mind waiting a little if it means experiencing something inspired.

-Me being late to shows isn’t because I don’t respect my fans or their time, but the contrary, It can be argued that I care too much, and insist on things being right. I like to switch my show up regularly, change arrangements, add new songs, etc. This often leads to long sound checks, which leads to doors opening late, which leads to the show getting a late start. This element of perfectionism is about wanting the audience to experience the very best and most authentic musical experience they can from what I do.

-I reject being pigeonholed or pinned down by someone else’s uninformed concept of me. I’m my own person, free to explore my potential like everyone else.

- Where I am in one chapter of my life isn’t necessarily where I’ll be in the next chapter. I reserve the right to be an honest artist in those moments and not a fabrication, fake or phony version of myself, because that’s what someone else likes. 

-I don’t owe anyone self-repression. Some fans will grow with me, some won’t and that’s ok. 

-Life is to be lived, it’s not a full-time performance you put on for others, so people won’t have bad things to say about you in interviews. 

-Hip-hop was born through people who didn’t necessarily have traditional musical training, the best tools, and in some cases even instruments, but found a way to express themselves despite that. My art exists because it has a will to exist, like hip hop. 

-The album inspired many people, from all walks of life, because of its radical(intense) will to live and to express Love. I appreciate everyone who was a part of it, in any and every capacity. It wouldn’t have existed the way that it did without the involvement, skill, hard work, and talents of the artists/musicians and technicians who were a part of it, but it still required my vision, my passion, my faith, my will, my soul, my heart, and my story.  

[femvulvaphile]

let’s break that weird shit down, then

“We’ve been here since the beginning. I know your hate group, your little Nazi sub-sect, has this lie you like to spread that we suddenly spring into being from whole cloth in the 1970s, but that fighting all through history? WE’VE. BEEN THERE. FOR ALL OF IT.” cool but that’s literally not what I said. transwomen’s and women’s fights are inherently different. Sex-based oppression doesn’t DIRECTLY affect transwomen: you will never be shunned for menstruating, you will never be afraid of having your prepubescent vulva mutilated for the sick pleasure of a men five times your age, you will never be afraid of being impregnated against your will, or of miscarriage of a wanted child, or of all the pregnancy and birth complications who are still killing women all over the world. you will never know what it’s like to have men catcall and grope you when you’re nine years old just because your boobs already began to grow.   

"The demonization of trans women is a relatively recent invention in the grand scheme of human history and it is one that you have helped re-surge into the modern world.” that’s bullshit. the “demonization” you’re talking about can refer to one of two things: either the conservative view that transwomen are “deviant men” (which I definitely agree is shitty), or the radical feminist view that transwomen retain their male socialization and so, as a group, can represent danger to women (which is backed up by research, btw, and the amount of “receipts” in the form of news reports of transwomen hurting and murdering cis women AND in the unending threats and harassment that radfems receive online and irl).

"The idea of ASAB and tying it to gender in some inviolate and unchangeable way is something colonizing white people brought to this country, and others they invaded.” cool but that’s bullshit? pretty much every culture on earth has a history of identifying biological sex and applying sociological roles to them. that’s not a white invention, that’s not the fruit of colonialism. the concept of “gender” as behaviors and roles based on reproductive function has existed for as long as people have existed. some cultures have stricter rules about them, others are more loose. some cultures refuse to acknowledge non-conforming people as their “original gender”, and then you have things like two-spirit or hijras.

"Whether you realize it or not, and…let’s be honest, you probably do, your actions, your hate group, is just a laser-guided subsection of what fascism and white supremacy stands for.” wtf tho. fascists and white supremacists and nazi want a “pure” world without “lesser” groups, like black people, jewish people, homosexuals, gnc people. how is female-only radical feminism the same? are you aware that plenty of radical feminists are woc themselves, and even jewish? are you aware that the vast majority of people you’d call “terfs” aren’t even american, or english speakers? we literally just want men to stop fucking murdering us.

“Without colonization, without white supremacy, your argument, your constant, hammering on “male” as if to conjure some demon from the word, would mean nothing.” male violence has been a reality in human history. it’s not a theory, it’s not up to debate. it’s a fact. you know it is, according to your original post talking about men posing the most danger to transwomen. women all over the world are victims of men. it doesn’t change whether we talk about it, or use the words male, men, amab.

"I don’t mean that in the rhetorical sense, I mean literally, your words would not have a cogent basis without that.” again, bullshit. male violence is everywhere, in every culture, in every part of the world, regardless of how much contact with europen colonization the culture has had. japanese men are violent, russian men are violent, french men are violent, english men are violent, american men are violent, cuban men are violent, argentinian men are violent, brazilian men are violent. nazis didn’t invent misogyny.

“How fucking dare you invoke my dead sisters, how fucking dare you bring up that most of us getting murdered are PoC, while peddling Nazi approved propaganda.” uh. it’s “nazi approved propaganda” to say that women face violence from men and therefore need safe spaces from them? and I brought up the groups that murdered transwomen belong to because YOUR GROUP likes using them, using your so-called dead sisters, as argument points, as proof that a white middle class educated men with a dress and lipstick is somehow more oppressed than any woman on earth.

“Meanwhile, asshole,” oh cool name calling when I wrote a relatively calm and non-offensive post. “I was talking about SHARED SPACES. LGBT focused communities, the ones you are perpetually try to focus trans lesbians out of because you view us as the worst of what you already consider the worst.” yeah, maybe we wouldn’t need to do that if “lesbian” transwomen could stop demanding so much from women, or if they’d stop claiming protagonism when they don’t even experience SAME-SEX ATTRACTION, which historically has been, you know, the entire defining poing for “lgbt” people.

“You didn’t even notice it, did you? You were just launching into Pre-Written Terf Rhetoric #5 without so much as reading what I actually. Fucking. Said.” dude, you’re calling me a nazi literally just because I said women deserve female-only spaces and transwomen should create their own safe spaces away from men instead of demanding entry and protection from women.

"Your insistence that we’re “straight men” only serves to try and push us out of those communities as well." you have more in common with straight men than with lesbians, tho. you don’t experience same-sex attraction, you’re not female, you can impregnate a female lesbian (depending on transition specifics, but let’s be honest: the big problem is the transwomen who claim “there’s no need to need to transition bc my dick is a woman’s dick”), if you’re not “passing” you don’t need to fear homophobic violence from strangers.

“Jesus fuck, like did you even notice that was the fucking point? Like your shoving us aside as non-women is already fucked up but that wasn’t even the point of this particular post.” the point of your post was vilifying women who question the notion that “transwomen are exactly the same as women”. the point of your post was putting the blame on women, “terfs”, for what men do.

"The idea that men view us as also men is so beyond laughable I can’t even properly convey it.” they view you as “DEFECTIVE” men. they definitely don’t view you as women. men are violent towards you as a result of toxic masculinity - a non-conforming male is a threat to their notion of rigid male-female roles. the violence towards you is closer in motivation to the violence towards gay men, rather than the one towards women.

"But I’m just going to say: You don’t live our lives. You don’t live our experiences.” yes. just like you don’t live the lives of women. which is exactly why I said transwomen do deserve safe spaces, but not by invading female-only safe spaces.

"If you don’t know how wrong you are it’s because you’re incapable of treating our words as anything but the words of the target of your hate and thus discarded.” you’re lumping me in with nazis (I’m a latina gender-non-conforming lesbian, I’d be raped and killed by actual nazis faster than you could type “op is a terf”), refusing to actually ACKNOWLEDGE the things I said, bringing up way more arguments than the ones on your original post, and then blaming me for not being able to read your mind.

“The power you hold is that you have been aligning yourself with right-wing christian groups,” bullshit. again: women can’t even get men to stop raping us. how exactly do you think we have any power, any voice, over THE most misogynistic men on the planet?

"the power you hold is that your ilk has been speaking to audiences wherever they can find them in academia for decades,” again, bullshit. women have been in academia for, like, two years, in comparison to how long men have been dominating every public and private space.

"the power you hold is that you went into the communities that might have helped us stay alive and sowed false accusations to turn others against us,” b u l l s h i t. YOU came into OUT communities demanding we treat you as equals, when we are observably NOT equals. sex-based oppression doesn’t affect transwomen the same way it does women. men’s violence is distinctly different based on your sex.

"the power you hold is in helping, insidiously, to uphold the institutional biases that keep us marginalized, alone, and dying.” the same can be said of modern trans rights activists, tho. you’re all contributing to the strengthening of gender as a hierarchy - and not because you need to conform to survive. no, your original message (the one we can still hear from drag queens and transvestites from stonewall, for instance, that your kind likes to claim as “transwomen”) has been corrupted to the point where people look at a feminine gay boy and tell him he must be trans, he must transition, he must be a woman because he likes makeup and is attracted to men. your kind tells parents of vulnerable children that their little boys and girls will KILL THEMSELVES if they don’t take hormones as soon as possible. your group tells lesbians they need to suck dick to be proper lesbians. your group supports (and breeds) more murderers, rapists, and pedophiles than radical feminism could. your group tells women of color, lesbians, survivors of all sorts of male violence, that they’re the problem. you tell us we’re even worse than men. you tell us to die, you threaten us with rape, with baseball bats. you punch sixty year old women who dare take a picture of people trying to silence women. you rape and murder a twelve year old girl. you rape and forcibly impregnate a female trans person, and then brag about it. you support rapists and pedophiles being housed in women’s prison because of their “gender feels”. 

you tell women to shut up about their own experiences. you tell women they’re not the “right kind” of women. you tell women they’re not woman “enough”. you tell them to sacirfice themselves for yet another male.

“And yes, before you even start, I’m blocking you. I don’t debate Nazis or Nazi bootlicks.” still nowhere near being a nazi, but alright.

bonus:

“also do they just have a terf blog name generator somewhere, i swear all terf blogs read like a bunch of synonyms for vagina and spellings of rad and possibly a wolf reference or phile or fetishist, all put in a random name generator” that’s hilarious to men because I literally saved this url after I seeing an asshole claim that lesbians aren’t allowed to call themselves lesbians if they don’t suck dick, and that they’re actually vagina fetishists. the person used -phile on something, I can’t recall what, and I immediately thought “hmm, yes. I love vulvas. I’m a vulvaphile. A female vulvaphile.” 

[deathandallhisfriendss]

Everything you want's a dream away - Coldplay @ Paris Stade De France 15, 16 & 18 July 2017

Hello guys! So here is it, my super long post where I am gonna tell you everything about my trip! I had a little bit bad luck and I had to write 1/3 of this again because my laptop crashed, but I hope I remembered everything!

Saturday 15.7.2017

But I will start. My flight to Paris was early morning on Saturday - the same day than the first concert was. I knew that I was not going to get a good spot so I wasn’t so stressed about it. My hotel was one metro stop (which I usually walked) + one train stop away from the stadium so the location was really good! But of course I took a wrong train when I went to the stadium for the first time.. But it was the only mistake I made (it was my first time in France) so I handled everything surprisingly well alone, I’m proud of myself! Also everyone was very kind and helpful when I asked for a help couple of times, I have nothing bad to say about French people!

I was so nervous when I walked to the stadium, the train trip had made me even more nervous and I felt kind of lonely - I’m not scared to say it. I bought some merch (I LOVE THE CAP) before going to the lane and the lane was suuuuper long.

(FYI: The merch was super expensive, I’m happy that I saved so long for this or I would have cried to not get anything. And the photo is bad again sorry)

I didn’t make any friends on the line but it was ok because there wasn’t much time left before the doors. When I got in, there was thousands people already, so I got a spot like in the middle of crow in Jonny’s side, B-stage was exactly on my right side.

Opening acts wasn’t really my type of music. So I will not talk about them sorry lol. The last minutes were anyway so long!

(For non-coldplayers just a random fact now - Coldplay filmed all of the three concerts for the live dvd and that made concerts a little bit more special.)

And then it started - first the intro and then A Head Full Of Dreams. And I started jumping and singing and everyone was jumping too and it felt perfect from the start to the end. I didn’t really see more than the left screen but I wasn’t super sad about it.  I also loved the fact that Coldplay -concerts are a place where no one cares about your age or gender or anything. I felt the magic of it every concert.

When Yellow started, I started crying. I have never cried to it, but for that moment it felt really special.

Here is a little clip of The Scientist I took, nothing special: 

I don’t really take photos or videos at shows so you will only get couple of shitty ones!

When the boys played at the B-stage, it was so good. I saw them better, I had so much fun, I danced all the time - I was the craziest one who kept jumping and singing when no one else didn’t. They have so many danceable songs!! Everything was new to me, the show felt like it will continue forever and I loved it. I sang so loud to Fix you and the end of it was super good.

Something just like this was the second song which made me cry. I have had a special relationship with it as long as it came out and it was so good on live.

And when the show was over, I already knew this is the best live band in the world. And trust me - I have seen many.

Every night it took long get to the station because the police have blocks for our safety but it was okay. And how magical was that people keep singing Viva while walking and in the train?

When I got to the hotel I was so tired - how am I gonna do this again tomorrow??

Sunday 16.7.2017

Sunday was the day when I had the early entry ticket. It was the only ticket type that was left when I tried to get tickets - then I decided I can do this all alone and I bought the ticket.

I went to the stadium at 11am and I was kind of suprised there was almost 30 people before me! I was nervous, I felt everyone was so much cooler than me haha!

A while later @buckin-love came to say hey - he was the only person I knew who was going to concerts and he helped me so much before and during the trip. Thank you again Vik!

It was hot day again so people bought emergency blankets (only 2,5€ or something lol) to get shadows to the line and people next to me bought one too. Here is what I mean:

Clever right? That was when I started to talk with the girl next to me and then we spent the whole day together with couple with others. It was so nice to meet you Alizée, hope to see you in next tour!

I was SUPER nervous, more nervous than on Saturday. Of course I knew I was gonna get a good spot anyway but it didn’t really help!

We got our early entry gifts and here is shitty pics of it if you haven’t seen the gift yet:

The bag had hard time in my luggage, it looks better for real.. So in a beautiful box was a coloring book and that thing is how you can draw Coldplay’s logo. I think? I haven’t tried it yet. Everything is gorgeous anyway!

So we got in and me and my new friends got really good spot in Jonny’s side. There I met more amazing people!

Then the magical moment happened.

I had seen R42 reading our signs before (there was so many signs every night btw!) but when he came to back later to take the photo I was like this is not really happening. This is a dream. Of course I didn’t know was he gonna put it anywhere but it was cool anyway!

So a while later I had to check Coldplay’s Twitter and yep, there it was with the text “Yes! One big band, one big family! #ColdplayParis R42″ :

https://www.instagram.com/p/BWnbX9sl_zL/

https://twitter.com/coldplay/status/886640825085636612

It was real happiness. I was SO happy. And I still am, of course! I started to cry and everyone around me was happy for me and that made me cry even more. And btw, thinking about this made me cry again. Crying for happiness is good!

The thing is, I wasn’t really sure about the sign. I changed my mind many times will I do it or not. But it felt special for me so I made it. And yeah, it was right thing to do and the message of it is so true too. I know many people don’t go to concerts alone but there is people who do. And there’s nothing wrong about it. People should talk more about it and I really hope I have inspired people to do it! I’m still the awkward-not-the-most-social-and-broken-english -girl from Finland and I made new friends so you can do it too! I have tried to read all of your comments and you are all so sweet, I’m so thankful and I love you all. (And it has 180 000 likes on IG, THIS IS CRAZY!!)

So back to the show. I had really found the right people around me. Almost every of them had seen Coldplay at least 10 times and were crazy like me. So when Coldplay started, we started jumping and singing and dancing. And we barely stopped any time.

Coldplay was so good. SO GOOD. The best show I have ever seen. And when Chris said we are one of the loudest crow ever, when he said he would pay to play for us.. It was special. I keep using that word but there’s no any better way to say it.

As I told you, there were camera men filming the audience too. And one of them was this really sweet gentleman (I think his name is Mike?)  who somehow find a way to my photo of Chris:

He was cute and kept filming us to screens. But we had so much fun so why not! Me and him also shared a lollipop together and it is one of my funniest memories. If the video of it somehow finds a way to public (because he was filming all the time), I’m gonna laugh my ass off! 

But as I said, he kept filming us to screen and here is one great video where I’m on the screen twice during The Scientist:

Here is also one screenshot of it:

Yep, I was happy. On the video is also Chris’ “So far I have to tell you, this is one of the best audiences we ever heard so thank you for being here!”. And Chris’ cheeky smile!

When the boys went to play to the B-stage, Chris stopped in front of us like “who wanna get my pick?” and then looked at my eyes and threw it to me. But I never got it, it dropped to the ground and some crew member gave it for someone else.. But yeah it’s ok.

The concert was so good that I don’t know what to tell you.. Charlie Brown was super good every night and I love when the crowd sing the guitar riff together. And the xylobands!! It was magical.

On the C-stage, they surprised everyone of playing Trouble and it was really good. And Chris’ Paris -song was adorable, I love listening to his French, no matter that I don’t understand anything.

Here is a short clip of my favorite part of Don’t Panic:

I love the new version where Will sings leading vocals and then there’s Jonny’s adorable singing too.

I don’t really have words to explain how good the show was.. I wanna see the live dvd already, I really hope they use something from Sunday! I hope I would live this day again, it was so good, so emotional, I was so happy.. *continue watching live videos from the concert and ugly cry*

So Monday was a day off and I went to do some sightseeing with Vik and his friend. Paris is really beautiful and I have to go back one day. Maybe next CP tour? 

Tuesday 18.7.2017

On Tuesday I had a normal standing ticket again. I went to the stadium at 7am and I was fourth in my gate. 

I was a little bit worried how everything would go because it was going to be really hot day and I didn’t know anyone again etc. But then maybe 30min later one guy who was next to us on Sunday came! I was so happy! Saad you saved my day! So we spent the whole day together.

During the day many sweet people came to say that they saw the photo of me and saw me on the screen and everything, thank you!

So the day was SO hot. 35′C. We got the blanket to have a shadow but it was hot anyway. Here is a random happy pic of me from Tuesday outside of the stadium:

We were stressed about spots again because so many gates would open the same time. But Saad’s friend has saved a spot for him so I went to the second row behind him. Almost the same spot than on Sunday, yay! 

There I meet more people again and I’m so happy that everyone was so nice to me, almost everyone was from different country and everything, but we still are one big family.

Just before the concert began, the same two camera men came in front of us again and the another one said “I remember you!”. I was like huh oh and he said something like “you were here on Sunday too!” and then the camera was on my face again and I melted. Kind of funny that they remembered me when all around me was people who has seen the band so many times and who has also been there all of three concerts.

But yeah, there was SO hot, at least 30´C in the evening too, I’m pretty sure I have never sweated so much in my life! But it didn’t stop us to dancing/jumping/singing.

This concert was the last concert of their European tour and I couldn’t get it off my head. Just when all of this began, it’s over.. Thanks god Chris said that they will be back, but at least two long years, huh!

When Chris and Jonny went to play Paradise remix to the catwalk, it was somehow kind of sexy to watch lol. Jonny is adorable and smiling and enjoy how everyone is watching him and Chris keeps watching Jonny and coming closer and closer of him and hah it was so great! 

Here is a not very good photo of lasers and Chris changing his shirt because why not:

When Chris wanted to play Hypnotised, it was unreal and I was the whole song like is this really happening? And I was like the only one who opened the Hypnotised -app and Will laughed at me lol. 

Here is a short clip of Magic and Buckin because yes.

In the end of the concerts, there were some of the band members’ kids ( I don’t know whose and it’s not really my business to know) playing in front of us and it was so cute!

There was so much going on all the time, four guys (and one of them barely stay still), confettis, fireworks, xylobands, 80 000 people.. I think I need ten more concerts to know every little detail (not matter how many concerts I have watched online before this!). On Tuesday I wasn’t so in shock anymore so I was able to realize more what is happening: Jonny’s sweet smile (you can’t get it too many times) and happiness, Chris’ adorable laugh all the time when he crazy dances and his playful eyes - his magical eyes, Will being serious but then next he is one big soft smiling bear again and Guy who somehow keep us all together and surprise us again and again. What a band.

When they played Up&Up, the final song, it was hard and I cried half of the song.. Is it really over? And when the band hugged one last time..Take me back to the start..

That’s it. That was my amazing, unbelievable trip to Paris. I’m so thankful, speechless, happy.

I wanna say huge thank you to everyone who shared this experience with me, thank you for hanging and talking with me, thanks for all the help. Special thanks to Vik, Alizée and Saad!

Thank YOU so much reading, I hope you liked this! I hope I didn’t make any big mistakes. Please share it for everyone who could enjoy this. Ps. If you wanna follow me on somewhere else, I’m riddikulusfin on Twitter/IG/SC.

♥

[abnormal-angel]

Im not sure I understand all the "drama" around DK and Norm. What happened? Why is everyone hating on her? Are they a couple or not? What did she do that makes people so angry? Where do people take their info on their relationship? I'm so behind on the gossips. Sorry for asking. I hope you'll be able to light my lantern.

Hey Anon! How much time do you have? Pull up a seat and I will tell you the tale of dk (lol). I’m going to try and stick the main points here, if I leave anything our anons will let me know.

First please check out the dk wank tag I created, this will start you at the very beginning of what started all this for me. Which was he trolling the fans on IG. Anyway here some main reasons why fans are upset with her.

1. I have known about DK since she started dating Joshua Jackson about a decade ago, I have never been a fan of hers and have always thought she was just entirely fake and only in it for the fame and attention. She used Joshua’s name to become “somebody” in Hollywood, from which I hear isn’t her biggest fan. 

2. She is a serial cheater and known to leech off of one guy and then jump right into bed with another. She has cheated on her ex husband and cheated on Joshua with Norman while making the movie, Sky. Cheating on Joshua right under his nose, even though he helped get the film publicity by cameoing in the movie, which still flopped.

3. She carried on cheating on Joshua with Norman and who knows who else tbh after Joshua gave her another chance. After a year Joshua finally kicked her to the curb when she was caught cheating on him again. For some reason dk is the one who sought out Norman for the role in sky and had apparently wanted to get her hooks in him that early. What is even more sick is that Norman and Joshua had been friends and had known each other for years. 

4. From what we known dk and norman have been casually screwing around with each other since then (2015) but Norman has also been screwing around with a lot of other women on the side at the same time. dk has been pushing really hard the past few months to try and force norman into saying they are exclusive, going so far as to set up her paparazzi rag (The Daily Mail) to snap shots of them out on the town or her going to his apartment (showing everyone where he lives btw). She then has her people there type up hyped up articles with headlines like, “Sorry Joshua, but she’s taken!!” Using Norman’s name to throw shit towards Josh all the while pretending she really cares about Norman. Who she was quoted to call, “a very broken,” man in an interview while filming sky. Uh what?? So you love your men broken do ya dk? Twisted.

5. She is an emotional manipulator and many of us worry that she is going to hurt his heart. She has already proven all the cares about is her face in the spotlight and she uses guys to get this attention. Literally, no one thinks she can act, so her life legit has become siccing paparazzi on Norman every second he has been in NYC on hiatus and then leaking them to her rag. All the rag articles mention Norman Reedus, even in ones where it is just her picking up her laundry or some shit, because it gets clicks and she gets paid.

6. dk has a sick and twisted tie with the Daily Mail. Check it out. Not only are most of these articles just plain click bait, but it shows her connection to the rag is a deep one where she is basically paying paparazzi to setup norman and her and norman on the town and then she pays the daily mail writers to write whatever b.s. story she wants us to believe. Not too mention her IG appears to be filled with paid trolls who help her block and delete all negative commentary on her IG and fill it with bullshit, “you’re so beautiful we love you and norman,” comments. Which again Norman has NEVER come out and actually said they are dating so this just again shows her lack of respect and willingness to spin things her way, even in fucking IG comments. lol hilarious. She spends her days trolling fans and stalking norman, she has legit not left him alone this entire hiatus, except when he is at cons. Bitch is scared of fans and should be, we are catching onto all her b.s.

7. Don’t even get me started on the video she set up with her and norman about a month back. He was wasted out of his mind and she was parading him around like a puppy on a leash, while the paps snapped away. Then she set up up so we had to watch her attacking him basically while she gives him a hickey and he stands there awkwardly and tense af, knowing they are being filmed. Then she smacked his ass, as if to claim him, he looked pissed. If you can stomach the video (seriously the grossest thing I have ever seen tbh *shudders*) google “diane kruger daily mail norman reedus makeout” or something like that and you will find it. But be forewarned it is gross. 

8. Also this very same day she paid paps in L.A. to follow Joshua around when he was on a date with his new girl. She then leaked those photos because she had been bugging Josh to go public for a while with this new woman and he wouldn’t. So she legit set him up so that he was forced to go public, at least in paparazzi rags. No major media magazine ever picks up any of these things it is tabloid fodder that she gets paid for and spins to her advantage. So that very day she leaks Joshua on his date pap picture is the very same day she set up and leaked that video. 

9.She is trying to lock his ass down and show people he is hers, when in reality he has never come out publically about being in a relationship with her or it being anything exclusive or official. Norman also has always loved his privacy and has a hatred for paparazzi and has a well known history of this. So her using paps to force himself to out himself with her is really sick and twisted of her. And her setting him up at his apt, showing where he lives in also very disrespectful.

10. She is an emotional manipulator, she is very good at trying to spin everything so that she is the victim when in fact she is victimizing him. He is also not completely innocent in all of this, but I believe he has a good heart and she is playing with it. She is literally using him for everything she can squeeze out of him.

11. We also found out last week that it was her and her people who set up and propped up the false pregnancy rumors that have been flying around the past few weeks. Even though every event she is at she is caught drinking, just another way to troll fans and gain clicks on her rag. Also again if you respected Norman you wouldn’t be spreading false rumors and purposefully playing into them. Just shows what kind of person she really is, a user.

12. Norman is obviously hating the paparazzi be sicced on him all the time and some theorize this is a way she is keeping him on lock down. Think about it, he can’t fuck around if they are watching his every move. Another way to force exclusivity when it is obvious Norman does not want that. She traps and uses him and then calls it “love.”

[EDIT ANON ADDED ITEM]: Add to your list. DK was only allowed in Spain on the promise she would not call paps. She begged NR to go. She broke it before she left because she alerted the DM paps she was leaving the country for everyone to see. DK has also said shit about one of NR’s closest friends  She has also said bad things about Norman himself last year to get what she wants.

[EDIT ANOTHER ANON ADDED ITEM]:  Do not forget she is a plain classic stalker. She stalked NR fan blogs and saw about his ex-gf ig he commented on. She tracked the gf down and liked posts on her account about NR. She must spend most of her time researching his name. She went to Italy and when she saw he was hanging with his twd friends she flew back the same day because she is so crazy. And she keeps up comments about them marrying in secret on her social media.

—–

Whew! I think I got most of the main points here Anon. Long story short she is bad news and making Norman look awful in the industry’s eyes right now, which he doesn’t need or deserve. We all hope he gets away from this toxic manipulative woman soon. He deserves to be treated so much better!

WE LOVE YOU NORMAN! And we love Joshua! Who didn’t deserve any of this (after ten years with her she does this to him) And we hope that they both get away from her as soon as possible.

Hope that clears things up. Thanks Anon! Send Norman some love and clarity, he is really grappling with big decisions about this situation rn if you ask me…

[sawthefaeriequeen]

Superpowered Note Passing!

aka Power Rangers 2017 reaction.

So I wrote all this after seeing the movie a second time a couple weeks ago and it was just laying around on my hard drive so, here. Fangirling preserved in amber, if you will, under the cut

omg this is so many bullet points long. I should be ashamed but I’m not!

1.       So, the opening! Was the dying Yellow rRnger a nod to Thuy Trang passing away? My brother and I had the exact thought at the same time in the theater; we both nudged each other and were like, “Whoa.”

2.       I’d been hearing the Rita as Green Ranger theory batted around for months, and hello, her costume gave it away already. So I wasn’t TOO surprised when she appeared. Zordon as Red was what I didn’t expect...I was like Ooooh, this is gonna be interesting!

3.       I’m still laughing at the transition from the Megazord-y silhouette…to  “MOOOOOOOO.”

4.       A COW, OMG. For serious. A damn cow. And here I thought we’d be introduced to Jason strutting around on a field in jockish glory, which would lead up to his injury.

5.      (I do really like the Jason’s Knee Is Still Busted headcanons I’ve seen, as someone with a bad knee herself.)

6.       Is it just me or does the dude playing Jason’s dad remind me of Austin St. John?

7.       Billy. God, I love him. Everyone loves him. I’m so happy because BILLY!

8.       A+++ character establishing moments for Billy, Jason, and Kimberly in detention. Jason slapping bully Ed Sheeran (who some folks are saying was Skull, but idk) because he wasn’t even worth the fisticuffs! And did my inner 7 y.o. Pink-Ranger-idolizing self do a mental backflip when Kim snips off her hair.

9.       I love love how Jason/Billy easily had the most loving relationship in the movie. Easily. Like, the moment I really knew I was gonna like Jason was when he (nicely!) let Billy down on his offer. And he makes sure Billy knows it’s not because he was ashamed to be seen with him  (which was a move an ~edgier piece of media would’ve pulled) but because of the ankle monitor.

10.   (btw, wtf, was J wearing that ankle monitor the whole time they were becoming Rangers? Because ummm.)

11.   I can’t wait until the DVD comes out so we can have a thousand and one gifs of Jason full-on glomping Billy

12.   Oh, and yes, Billy says the words “I’m on the spectrum,” even clarifies that his brain doesn’t work the way others’ do. And is received with nothing but respect. Others have explained better than me, so I’ll just say that I loved it and kudos to the writers and actor.

13.   I totally dug that the film established Jason and Kimberly as the alphas of the team early on; more on that later. For now I would like to appreciate how it also establishes Kimberly as a Badass who hikes by herself in the mountains and once took a dude’s TOOTH out.

14.   Trini listening to metal + yoga, omg.

15.   The quarry scene and finding the coins! Loved the whole ~aesthetic of that, and how the coins look like gems instead of having the usual embossed dino which I totally did not own and carry around in my pencil case as a kid.

16.   LOL @Billy driving his mom’s van as a getaway LOLOL Zack practically ripping a hole in the van ceiling. Talk about having a Harry Potter-style “cementing your friendship by fighting a mountain troll” moment.

17.   RITA. I love Elizabeth Banks so hard; I knew she’d chew up the scenery as Rita should.

18.   Billy fanclubat their school!!!! Can I join?? I love how he’s so modest and yet proud about knocking down Skull Ed Sheeran.

19.   I wish we’d seen Trini and Zack’s first power-up moments because can you imagine? Super amused though, that one of the first casualties was Kim’s skinny-ass smartphone. Because yeah, no way are those things made to be durable.

20.   The entire cliff-leaping scene is a thing of beauty. How cute is Trini finally cracking a smile when they jump across to her? And all the laughing and the bonding and sfasfd I had no idea how much my Nakama kink would be satisfied by this movie. Oh, and speaking of beauty, the underwater scene with the accompanying music? Wow. It’s all very Crossing the Threshold. I dig it

21.   (the whole movie is VERY much a heroes’ journey story, isn’t it? I think that’s one of the reasons it was so great.)

22.   Non-annoying Alpha! Complicated, cranky dad Zordon! Things I didn’t know I wanted! Also, I thought Zordon having a red glow around his face was cool.  The first time I watched, I wondered why Zordon’s declaration of Jason as leader was so lukewarm…and was pleasantly surprised when there turned out to be A Reason later.

23.   I like how Billy is the first to step on the grid because he’s Billy and he has discovered an unexpected zest for superheroing, then Jason is the last because, to quote Robin Scherbatsky, where’s the poop, Zordon?

24.   TRAINING MONTAGE! With that dang song that’s been stuck in my head since seeing it for the second time, and have I mentioned that I really love the soundtrack? And yes, the note-passing scene, and the donut scene, and Master Billy. Fuckin’ iconic. I also like that we see ‘em getting visible training injuries and that it’s Alpha who shows ‘em the moves and is actually an effective trainer. (Btw, was Alpha always a robot in this universe?)

25.   When Zack takes Mastodon out, I thought for a split second that he was gonna strip it down for parts and sell them or something.  I mean, it’s logical. And anyone notice Alpha doing the classic Ayiyiyi flailing when Mastodon crashes?

26.   Just some things I found notable about the firelight bonding moment  (aside from #1. my 90s heart is reeling with nostalgia because, look it’s Midnight Society! #2 help me, this movie is really committed to tickling my Found Families heartstrings): It’s great that it’s Zack who proposes it cuz he knows he fucked up, and I LOVE that while he does get vulnerable, he does it in his usual sparky Zack way. Hell yes, he loves his mom and he’ll scream it to the horizon! Then there’s the much-publicized Trini scene, which, I like that it wasn’t just about her sexuality (and again, love that it’s Zack who figures whats up ), it was about her being quiet and not fitting in. And I like how it’s the introverted one who poses the question of, are they teammates or are they friends? Basically, “are we really choosing each other?”

27.   (I keep thinking a lesser piece of media like Glee or something would’ve made this scene All About White Boy Leader And His Manpain, which is why when Jason’s turn to talk came, it was kind of refreshing that he says “ehhh, you guys know  who I am” and listens to the others talk instead. Which is way more leader-like then bellyaching about how haaaard it was to be atop  the social ladder or whatever.)

28.   My big complaint about the scene where they take on Rita is that it’s so damn dark. Dark as in, I can’t even see it. I was squinting to see if their makeshift weapons resembled the originals from the show (/nerd) and I couldn’t see a blasted thing. I think we caught a glimpse of Trini’s dagger? A split-second before she buried it in the wall next to Rita’s head, anyway. Oh and there was Zack using an axe in an earlier quarry scene.

29.   Jason’s sword was cool, but I need the rest.

30.   Ah, and yeah...Stand by Me. Freaking Stand by Me. When I heard that they were using that song at a certain affecting moment in the film, I thought it would be a bonding moment. Post-training or something. I half-expected it to come drifting along when they were gathered around the fire, capping off the scene nicely.

31.   BUT NOPE. NOPE. It just had to be used like THAT.  Film, I really hate you. (jk, I love you to death, but ohgodwhy). And we had to watch Kimberly and Jason  (aka basically the rocks of the team) burst into tears and look completely shattered, respectively, and then all of them carrying Billy on their shoulders, BYE.

32.   We should start a band

33.   I legit gasped when I realized Zordon had let Billy live in his place, like

34.   Honestly it would’ve been easy for “I would die for him” to be all schmaltzy but it mainly worked because 1) the actors sold it, 2) It’s Billy, of course they would.

35.   (brb crying for 1000 years over the tight never-let-you-go Billy-Jason hug)

36.   and then

37.   It’s morphin’ time

38.   IT’S MORPHIN TIME

39.   IT’S FLIPPING MORPHIN’ TIME

40.   (I know some were frustrated over “how long it took” to get to morphing, but for me, it was rewarding. There had to be emotional payoff to get to the super-heroing and I think it was the most satisfying thing in the world.)

41.   I’ve read an interview where the director apparently told Dacre Montgomery to have Jason say “it’s morphin’ time” ‘like a prayer’ and yes, yes, that’s the best way to make a cheesy/iconic line work in a reboot like this.

42.   Weigh it with MEANING, ya know? Don’t have it be a throwaway snark quip.

43.   Oh and…the power walk? I saw it in the trailers, I saw versions of it countless times watching the original show when I was seven…and YET. Goosebumps.

44.   Kimberly doing cheerleader moves and lifting her teammates underwater is my favorite thing.

45.   I also love how Zack gets to his Zord first – screams happily while diving for it even. He is way past almost mowing down innocent nuns; it’s time for him to save the world now!

46.   Rita said the line! She said make my monster grow!

47.   GO GO POWER RANGERS theme song playing while the Zords ran  ‘ruining’ the more dignified orchestral score:  aka the movie saying “let me show you my love for the source material” aka “LOL the kid inside of you is tearing up and yelling, don’t even fucking lie” aka yessss.

48.   (and fuck it, you know what I don’t even care if the Zords were CGI? The suits are real. The people are real. The visors slip upwards and SHOW US our kids’ faces while piloting their big robots, and that’s all that matters)

49.   BILLY IS SO DELIGHTED. And *I* am so delighted that he dropped the movie’s only almost-f-bomb!

50.   I love how Trini aka the so-called outcast, runs around saying she has everyone’s back. Her Zord POUNCES, you guys! Oh, and how cute is her calling Jason “Jay” and Kimberly “Kim” mid-battle?

51.   Jason and Trini attacking Goldar simultaneously on both sides is A+

52.   The movie finally answered my long-burning question “how does Triceratops Zord fight with it’s itty bitty arms” and the answer is: it doesn’t, and the arms are useless to the point that Pterodactyl has to lift it. XD

53.   (well…its arms shoot things I think, but let me enjoy the hilarious irony of the gang’s resident slapper having a Zord with teeny tiny arms)

54.   (seriously though, Sam Scott looks like Austin St. John; why didn’t they just get Austin to play him)

55.   The “hold the line” scene ruined my life and walked all over me and I thank it.

56.   My multi-colored children they’re only babies and they were 100% ready to give their lives

57.   Like don’t even talk to me about Trini screaming when Zack passes out or Kim and Jason pressing hands through the glass or Billy’s little thank you, I just

58.   MEGAZORD RISING LIKE A GOD FROM THE DEPTHS DUN DUN DUNNN

59.   Listen, at first I was upset that we didn’t get to see Megazord’s jigsaw-puzzle forming but in hindsight this was even better, so much better. It’s formation was almost, well, spiritual. Baptism by fire and all that.

60.  Literally fire-forged friendship

61.   as in they formed Megazord through the power of friendship!

62.   they really did!

63.   Or wait I think this Megazord is a her, you know, “MAMAZORD!”

64.   (I love you, Billy!)

65.   “This won’t last! What you have!” See, even Rita knows she was defeated through the power of friendship

66.   I don’t know why it delighted me so much to have Megazord tripping on her first try, but it did.

67.   SLAPPED INTO SPACE!

68.   I know it was an echo of the detention slap but it also made me think of the Rangers kicking Ivan Ooze into the comet in the very first movie

·69.   hai, Jason David Frank and Amy Jo Johnson! (if I ever meet Amy Jo Johnson, I will tell her that baby me ragequit Power Rangers not because I Was Getting Too Old but because she left and what even was the point after)

70.   “This team did what my team could not” AW Zordon you secret!wall-softie

71.   And then Zack and Trini join them in detention not even looking like they’re in trouble but like they’ve come home, and it’s all just too much for my sappy ass

72.   OH WAIT, the finishing touch:

73.   More note-passing and we see that Billy has drawn the lightning bolt, THE iconic lightning bolt—

74.   -and it’s no longer gold but in all of their Ranger colors and I die, I just die

75.   (OH HAI, Tommy teaser! Do I get to say I told you so now?)

76.   Okay I was going to put some wrap-up thoughts on each of the characters and their dynamics (I didn’t even get to talk much about Rita!) but that will probably be for another post because this is already really fricking long

77.   But in conclusion:

[muschiosa2]

‘Addressing Robert Glasper and other common misconceptions about me (in no particular order)’ By Ms. Lauryn Hill

I’ve remained patient and quiet for a very long time, allowing people to talk, speculate, and project, while keeping my nose to the grindstone fighting for freedoms many folks aren’t even aware matter. The arrogance of presumption that allows someone to think that they could have all the facts about another person’s life and experience, is truly and remarkably… presumptuous. People can sometimes confuse kindness for weakness, and silence for weakness as well. When this happens, I have to speak up. I apologize for the delay in getting this posted, I was late in hearing about it. I understand this is long, but my last interview was over a decade ago…

-It’s not completely informed, but he’s entitled to his perception. Context certainly helps though.

-You may be able to make suggestions, but you can’t write FOR me. I am the architect of my creative expression. No decisions are made without me. I hire master builders and masterful artisans and technicians who play beautifully, lend their technical expertise, and who translate the language that I provide into beautifully realized music.

-These are my songs, musicians are brought in because of the masterful way that they play their instruments. I’m definitely looking for something specific in musicians, and I absolutely do hire the best musicians I can find. Not every band had that particular ‘something’ I was looking for. That doesn’t make them bad musicians, just different than what I needed in that particular moment.

-The Miseducation was the first time I worked with musicians outside of the Fugees who’s report and working relationship was clear. In an effort to create the same level of comfort, I may not have established the necessary boundaries and may have been more inviting than I should have been. In hindsight, I would have handled it differently for the removal of any confusion. And I have handled it differently since, I’m clear and I make clear before someone walks in the door what I am and am not looking for. I may have been inclusive, but these are my songs.

-I have come across the occasional musician who thinks they already know what I want, feelings and egos can be easily bruised when you tell them they actually don’t. I am never trying to intentionally hurt anyone’s feelings btw, but when people insist that they know you and don’t, you may have to be equally as firm to demonstrate otherwise.

-I am paying for a service, and looking for something SPECIFIC, which isn’t up to someone else’s interpretation or opinion. I have my own idea of what works for me. That shouldn’t offend.

-And I definitely don’t like to fire anyone. It did take me meeting a lot of people over a number of years to find the right musicians, but my current band has been with me for a long time, the newest members probably 2/3 years, some as long as 7/8 years now. I was looking for a similar natural chemistry with new musicians that I’d had with the Fugees and Miseducation bands. I’d literally grown up with some of those musicians. That isn’t easy to find.

-In 2008, I had only a young man helping me and my Mother, after disbanding my former support staff. No idea why any musician would have had knowledge of what I was being paid, not sure what he’s saying is accurate. Don’t have the details or recollection of cutting the band’s pay in half. If fees had been negotiated and confirmed without my knowledge, I may have asked for them to be adjusted. But I would never just cut a musician’s pay arbitrarily unless I had a legitimate reason. There are artists who do cut pay though, James Brown was notorious for docking musicians if they did something he didn’t like, I’m sure there are others.

-It was necessary for me to reestablish trust and cultivate a new environment. I was looking to challenge myself artistically. I was also openly challenging music industry norms. I’d left ‘the machine’. With ‘it’ went some polish, but the cause we were fighting for, creative integrity, was worth far more than a little polish to me.

-When you’re a popular artist or public figure, people can sometimes forget that you’re hiring them to perform a service, and that you’re not the one there to entertain THEM. I didn’t scream or yell. Maybe I didn’t provide the experience that a musician may have wanted or expected during that time, but I was straight-forward, direct, and about the business at hand.

-Making my art is a labor of Love, but it’s still labor, and can be labor-intensive at that. If a musician was looking for a cushy job filled with the same trappings I was purposely weaning myself from, we wouldn’t have been on the same page anyway. Make no mistake, addiction is a common snare laid to dismantle the integrity of artists. My environment, at that time, operated more like a rehabilitation clinic than an after-party.

-I don’t think most people, perhaps not even some celebrated artists, are aware of the battle it takes to be an artist and remain true to what you really think. I don’t even ‘practice’ small talk, so I’m never confused with someone who can be seduced. There are traps all around, what could look like a successful career in entertainment today, could be an addictive lifestyle of convenience attempting to control you tomorrow. I set the tone with every band that working for fame and accolades is a different walk than fighting for personal integrity and making art that doesn’t compromise itself for money.

-I’m confused as to why such a principled musician, who thought I ‘stole’ from his friends, would show up to work for me anyway. 🤔 If that was hypocrisy or opportunism instead of genuine interest, it would further explain why an artist would feel the need to put his or her guard up.

-No matter how incredible the musicians who play with me are, MY name is on the marquee. The expectation to make it all come together is on me. The risk and the financial losses are on me. Hence, MY VIBE, though not the only consideration, is the priority. Few people actually know what this road is like, but many want to judge and comment, having never done it. Try doing what I’ve done yourself. If nothing else, you will gain some insight into and respect for my process.

-During the time in question, I also believe I was playing a lot of new music with controversial content. FOR ME, rehearsal was about readying myself for the battle I knew I was entering into for simply not allowing a system to pimp me. If I was on edge, I had good reason to be.

-Perhaps my seriousness and militancy in the face of tremendous resistance was misinterpreted as meanness, or that I was unloving or uncaring, when my true intent was to protect. I wouldn’t be the first Black person accused of this. I don’t think of Harriet Tubman’s skills as those of a hostess, but rather her relentless dedication to helping people who wanted out of an oppressive paradigm. #IGETOUT

-People also unwilling to ‘play the game’ might have found that environment refreshing. Straight talk isn’t devoid of Love, it’s just devoid of bullsh#t.

-And just to clear up an old urban legend that somehow people still believe, I do not hate white people. I do, however, despise a system of entitlement and oppression set up to exploit people who are different. I do loathe the promotion and preservation of said system at the expense of other people, and the racist and entitled attitudes it gives rise to. The lengthy history of unfairness and brutality towards people of color, especially Black people, has not been fully acknowledged or corrected. The expectation is for us to live with abuse, distortion, and deliberate policies, meant to outright control and contain us — like we’re not aware of our basic right to freedom. I resist and reject THESE ideas completely. Like many Black people, I work to reconcile my own generational PTSD. I do my best to Love, pursue freedom in body, Spirit and mind… and to confront. To repress everything in the name of ‘getting along’ is to deny our right to healing. It’s an ugly, distorting and complicated history at best. We’ve been shaped by it for better or worse. I just choose not to pretend that it’s not there in order to maintain public approval and gain economic advantage. My true white friends and colleagues and I discuss these schemes and machinations, and the distrust that people of color would naturally have toward such a system and towards those who agree with it. We don’t run from those conversations, we run into them, which is why I can call them friends and colleagues. Within these relationships I can be my complete self, and not a splintered individual/soul repressing the truth about generations and generations of abuse.

-There were lots of issues both personal and in the world of entertainment during that period that needed resolve. I was definitely going through a significant transition. I no longer felt safe.

-There’s an entire album about that, it’s documented and called Lauryn Hill MTV Unplugged. For some, the Unplugged album provided useful insight during dark times, gave important context on some real but hidden issues, and helped people going through personal struggles, because I’d exposed myself in such a raw and vulnerable state.

-Who are you to say I didn’t do enough? Most people are probably just hearing your name for the first time because you dropped MINE in an interview, controversially. Taking nothing away from your talent, but this is a fact.

-The Miseducation was my only solo studio album, but it certainly wasn’t the only good thing I did.

-I was also a member of the Fugees, another groundbreaking, multi-platinum selling group, who bridged social and cultural gaps, and were ambassadors of hip-hop all around this planet. We laid important groundwork upon which an entire generation of artists and musicians still stand. We broke through conventions and challenged limited world views every time we played.

-The song To Zion gave encouragement to women during challenging pregnancies. There are children who were given a chance at life because their Mothers experienced moral and emotional support through this song.

-What about the image of Black women in hip hop? When exposure and sexualization of the Black female body was the standard, SOMEONE stood up and represented a different image entirely, giving a generation of young women options and alternatives of self-representation. #AMNESIA

-And let’s not forget that I am a mother of 6…

-Not only have I been instrumental in pushing forward the culture of live music in hip-hop for decades now, but I’ve been traveling with and employing a large band for many years, despite the economic challenges in doing so. Others have followed in my footsteps, seeing the value of live music.

-Show me an artist working now who hasn’t been directly influenced by the work I put in, and I’ll show you an artist who’s been influenced by an artist who was directly influenced by the work that I put in. I was and continue to be a door opener, even if the blind don’t see it, and the prideful are too proud to admit it. I lived this, you watched this and heard about it.

-97.9 The Box, feel free to not play my music if you agree that ‘I haven’t done enough.’

-I never told anyone not to look me in the eye, that may have been something someone said assuming what I wanted. However, I would understand why an artist would say that. It’s about reaching a level of vulnerability while making or playing your art, and not wanting to worry about being examined while you’re in that process.

-There are plenty of people, I’m sure, who THINK they know me. This can happen when you do anything that people Love or feel they can relate to. Their perception of me, however, doesn’t make it my reality. Sister Act II is a movie. Rita Watson is a character I played…in a movie, for those confusing that with real life.

-And yes, Ms. Hill was absolutely a requirement. I was young, Black and female. Not everyone can work for and give the appropriate respect to a person in that package and in charge. It was important, especially then, for that to be revealed early.

-I adore Stevie, and honor Herbie and Quincy, who are our forebears, but they’re not women. Men often can say ‘I want it done like this’ and not be challenged. The same rules don’t always apply for women who may be met with resistance. When this happens you replace that player with someone who respects you and the office you hold.

-My approach to making music is non-traditional, possibly non-linear, and more a product of my heart, soul, and experience gained through doing, than something I was taught in a formal school setting. Not much different than the genre of hip-hop itself.

-I never held myself out as some accomplished guitar player, I play to articulate better to seasoned players what I want. It’s an instrument I learned without any real lessons or instruction. I play in an unorthodox manner and use it as a writing tool. Couldn’t or didn’t tune my own guitar? That sounds like an assumption.

-I take rehearsal seriously, I take performance seriously, I take my art seriously. My particular preparation process suits me. To each his or her own. My goal is to feel confident and free on stage.

-I don’t think my process is for everyone, which is why band selection is so important. It’s not just about how well someone plays, but also their attitude. I’m not offended when people say it’s not for them, no more than they should be offended when I say this doesn’t work for me.

-Auditioning, btw, may have nothing to do with how good a musician is. If a musician isn’t accomplished, he or she wouldn’t have been called. An audition or meeting could be about whether we vibe well, whether they understood my particular musical vernacular or direction at the time. I could have a jazz beast on keys, who couldn’t necessarily play reggae or some other musical style I also incorporated into my performances.

-My sound is eclectic, I’ve been influenced by a wide variety of music. Like language, music isn’t always easily translatable. Someone could be a great player, but lack the ability to capture the feel or groove of a particular style.

-I’m attracted to musicians that are open and excited to try new things. When people think they already know what needs to be known, and aren’t interested in exploring what I’m into, that’s fine, but it doesn’t work for my band.

-A fair weather band is a complete impracticality, a liability even. I’m expected, through my art, to pour out the depths of my soul. Some days that’s easier than others. If the crew of people supporting me aren’t built for that walk, they shouldn’t be there. #Realtalk. Some people vibe well together, some don’t. It’s ok. Ignorant patriarchy is a b#tch though,

I could speak volumes…

-My standards are too high, and my process too idiosyncratic, not to work with people who really want to be there. When I don’t have that, I keep searching until I find them.

-I remix my songs live because I haven’t released an album in several years. There’s a ton of backstory as to why, but there’s no way I could continue to play the same songs over and over as long as I’ve been performing them without some variation and exploration. I’m not a robot. If I’d had additional music out, perhaps I would have kept them as they were. I didn’t, so I revise and rearrange them according to what I’m feeling in that moment. This way, my performances are heartfelt and authentic, not me just going through the motions. I can’t imagine why that would be a foreign concept to anyone who appreciates jazz.

-And the myth that I’m not allowed to play the original versions of my songs is…a myth (anyone who’s seen my current show knows this).

-There can also be an energetic or emotional transference when I perform, and it can be heavy/weighty at times. As an artist, I’m tasked with bringing a different vibration into the space that transcends this. Not an easy gig but an important one. I can imagine there are people who value this process and don’t mind waiting a little if it means experiencing something inspired.

-Me being late to shows isn’t because I don’t respect my fans or their time, but the contrary, It can be argued that I care too much, and insist on things being right. I like to switch my show up regularly, change arrangements, add new songs, etc. This often leads to long sound checks, which leads to doors opening late, which leads to the show getting a late start. This element of perfectionism is about wanting the audience to experience the very best and most authentic musical experience they can from what I do.

-I reject being pigeonholed or pinned down by someone else’s uninformed concept of me. I’m my own person, free to explore my potential like everyone else.

- Where I am in one chapter of my life isn’t necessarily where I’ll be in the next chapter. I reserve the right to be an honest artist in those moments and not a fabrication, fake or phony version of myself, because that’s what someone else likes.

-I don’t owe anyone self-repression. Some fans will grow with me, some won’t and that’s ok.

-Life is to be lived, it’s not a full-time performance you put on for others, so people won’t have bad things to say about you in interviews.

-Hip-hop was born through people who didn’t necessarily have traditional musical training, the best tools, and in some cases even instruments, but found a way to express themselves despite that. My art exists because it has a will to exist, like hip hop.

-The album inspired many people, from all walks of life, because of its radical(intense) will to live and to express Love. I appreciate everyone who was a part of it, in any and every capacity. It wouldn’t have existed the way that it did without the involvement, skill, hard work, and talents of the artists/musicians and technicians who were a part of it, but it still required my vision, my passion, my faith, my will, my soul, my heart, and my story.

[automatismoateo]

There was an anti-lgbt march on Church St. in Toronto today and the mods on /r/toronto are actively filtering criticism of religion and shaming atheism. via /r/atheism

Submitted September 29, 2019 at 01:59AM by Kelosi (Via reddit https://ift.tt/2nvRX3s) There was an anti-lgbt march on Church St. in Toronto today and the mods on /r/toronto are actively filtering criticism of religion and shaming atheism.

https://i.imgur.com/XbciQGO.png

r/toronto is one of the most toxic subs on reddit, and its largely because the mods are corrupt and biased. This demonstrates a clear conflict of interest and is the exact wrong way for a person in a position of authority to respond to a serious concern.

There's got to be some form of recourse against this. Preferential treatment of religion in Canada is a real problem. And its a much bigger issue than most Canadians realize. This is not a secular country. We do not have separation of church and state. And our publicly funded catholic school system, which also gets to claim that 30% of that subsidy as a donation making it tax exempt, is literally separate but equal. And we were condemned but the UN multiple times in 1999, 2005 and 2006, which most Canadians just brush off without even addressing the actual arguments.

I attended a part of my high school in Montgomery, Alabama. I've seen segregation first hand, I've seen the KKK marching down the streets of Birmingham, and I was laughed at by my classmates when I mentioned we have publicly funded catholic schools. I learned a lot when I was living in Alabama and Ontario is way behind them and most Canadians don't even realize it. We have a total of 38 secular schools boards and 38 religious school boards in Ontario funded completely by tax dollars. That would be illegal in the United States.

This march was just like the march in Birmingham. And I really think more Canadians need to start speaking up about our lack of secularism, the fact that our constitution was literally conditional on catholic schools, which half of our provinces have abolished by now, and how this hidden subculture is actually at the root of countless examples of segregation in Ontario and across Canada.

Like segregation between the French and the English. There is propaganda opposing the secular movement in Quebec right now, and its made possible because despite being our closest neighboring province, Ontarians have zero knowledge of current events in French Canada. The border between Ontario and the US is more permeable than the border between Ontario and Quebec. And aboriginal segregation is a million times worse. Half of populated reserves aren't connected by roads and are struggling for basic amenities like clean drinking water. Its literally like inner China.

Canada is under a huge threat right now. As we approach our federal election, anti-lgbt and anti-abortion bigotry is on the rise in preparation for and in the hopes of electing their own alt-right prime minister, Andrew Scheer. Scheer is to religious fundies in Canada what Trump is to evangelicals in the US. They think he's their messiah, and I genuinely fear for the security and safety of minorities in Canada. More people need to be speaking up about this and how these groups and religious demographics in particular pose a direct threat to our democratic process. They're trying to recreate the catastrophe in Canada that put Trump in office in the United States. Its like Trump is an invitation to them, and probably the only thing standing in the way of an alt-right Prime Minister is the success this group has already had on putting Doug Ford into office as Premier of Ontario, which has turned into an epic disaster.

10,000 teaching positions have been cut by Ford, increasing some class sizes to 40 students per teacher. Which btw disproportionately affects public schools since catholic schools get a tax exemption. And he cut low income subsidies for post secondary school to give a tax cut to education. He essentially took money out of the hands of poor students and gave it to rich students. And despite his cuts, this is still one of the most expensive budgets Ontario has had in decades. He openly lied about the figures in the Ontario Hydro buy back and we lost over $100 million. And I'm not even going to touch his $1 billion dollar plan to end the monopoly on alcohol (which needs to be done but not like this) so that he could fulfill his election promise of $1 beers. I'm not joking!

And the legal marijuana scandal is a national embarrassment. We lost over $40 million dollars selling weed. How is that even possible? Its because those companies were reserved for conservative pals of Ford, there's practically zero competition, prices are twice as high and the quality is garbage, and the licensing program for suppliers is a complete crony scam. Illicit marijuana is actually experiencing a huge boom now that the government shut down all the "illegally" operating clinics servicing terminally ill patients. Its been scandal after scandal after scandal, and its our religious subculture that's supporting this hypocrisy.

And if Scheer gets into office it will spell disaster for all of Canada. He refuses to discuss his views on lgbt or abortion, implicating himself and indicating that he knows his views are wrong. He doesn't believe in climate change and wants to abolish the carbon tax, and his alternative is a subsidy that studies have already shown would make a negligible difference for low income earners and have the greatest impact for those earning more than $120,000/year. Like Ford he's an obvious puppet and his policies are blatant and obvious lies explicitly designed to benefit the rich.

These actions should be chargeable. He is overtly and evidently deceiving voters.

As it stands I am completely appalled that r/toronto is filtering coverage of the anti-lgbt event and silencing criticism on religion. And this kind of stuff happens every day and no one speaks up about it. Its paralyzed our democratic process and these cuts eat away at the social services Canadians value and fought for. Our social systems are a disgrace. They consistently fail to meet their intended purpose because they're skeletons of what they should be and have been picked dry by cuts and American crony wannabes. Their strategy is to make it look like these services don't work so they can cut them even more, and you hear this rhetoric in the United States too but these services are failing entirely because of attacks by conservatives. They are creating the problem that they are self reporting on. Sound familiar?

Canada is not as pious as it pretends to be. From the outside it looks like we have socialism but on the inside its a political shit-show riddled with corruption, misinformation, abuse and privilege. We need to fight for election reform and secularism, otherwise these groups are going to continue to have a disproportionate influence, all while decreeing prosecution. Case and point. Literally no one is excluding them yet they claim "diversity includes bible believing Christians." In response to gay marriage?! We do ourselves a disservice by giving this misinformation equal footing. Especially considering these groups have traditionally opposed every equal rights movement we've ever had.

Religion is not race, gender or orientation. Religion is a belief and beliefs can be wrong. Especially when they're used to target race, gender and orientation. And we do condemn certain beliefs, like Nazis and the KKK. You can't compromise with a belief that actively seeks to undermine you and make up its own facts as it goes. And that includes religion. People read those signs and actually believe that religion is being persecuted in Canada, when no other business or group gets a subsidy AND a tax exemption. How can you trust voters to make informed decisions when we allow misinformation to stand side by side with reason based on evidence? That's why democracy is failing in Canada, and why so many of our services are littered with corruption and exist solely to save face.

The more I learn about my country the more I realize that it does not value evidence, merit or integrity. It is a meticulously tiered system of in-groups that consistently sweeps every problem we have under the rug only for it to rear it head again in another decade or two. Just research the history of religion in Canada. From the controversy in 1907 when catholic school teachers were held to a different standard of education, to the push towards secularism in the 60s. Most Canadians don't know these things. And most people outside of Canada have no idea about the aboriginal residential school system that removed 30% of aboriginal children from their homes and resulted in the deaths of between 3,200 to 6,000 children. We still don't even know due to incomplete record keeping. Or about the Japanese internment during WWII where Japanese Canadians were rounded up and put into internment camps. Most of which did not have their belongings, property or businesses returned to them. I recently met a Japanese Canadian man in a men's trauma support group who still feels defined by this event. These are not one-time events. This is a pattern of behavior that spans our entire history as a nation and we need to make our government and our peers much more accountable than this.

[justhumanhereandnow]

Reset

On November 8th, 2016, very late in the evening, a life-changing event happened to me; and to millions of other unsuspecting Americans. Shortly thereafter I began posting all manner of very opinionated political things on social media, because, of course I did. Me and about a hundred million of my fellow enraged citizens. My problem was that I was a small business owner in a conservative area, and my wife, who was also my business partner, did not appreciate what my opinions might do to our business when aired in public.

I struggled with this. I mean, you have to stand up for your beliefs, right? But, our business is pretty small, in a pretty sparsely populated area, and I finally had to agree with my sensible spouse. So, I created this anonymous persona, complete with a website, Twitter account, Facebook page, tumblr blog, etc. And I made LOTS of tweets! But not so many blog posts. In fact, I made exactly one. And then I was busy with my business, and then other stuff happened. I kept tweeting for a while, but finally, life just got in the way. And then life slapped me upside my head.

Here is what has happened to me in the last year (just the highlights)…

-        My youngest child graduated from High School and moved away from home.

-        I had an on-the-job accident (at my own business, so, all on me) which still causes me pain almost a year later.

-        My oldest child got married. And had a baby. No, wait, that deserves its own bullet point…

-        My first grandchild was born.

-        My wife asked for a divorce.

-        Both of my parents, who are still alive thank you God, have had serious health issues. Oh, btw, they live 3000 miles apart. I managed to visit them both.

-        I learned DIY home improvement on a whole new level. Learned to do electrical, plumbing, cabinets, flooring, dry wall… It didn’t help. She still wanted the divorce.

-        I moved to a new city, in a new state where I have never lived before.

-        I got a new job, doing what I did 30 years ago.

-        My dog died. No, seriously. He was a 14-year-old Golden Retriever who was the friendliest, most loyal friend ever. His name was Sparky, and I will miss him forever.

So, while I may write about politics here again, I thought I might take some time to write about life.

Two things should come out of what you read above: Change, and Priorities. And I think these may be the two most important concepts in leading a happy and productive life. If you can’t deal with change, you will have difficulty making it through any given day. And if you don’t have your priorities in order, you’ll be stuck in a meaningless life. So, I’m going to give you a two-parter. Today, we’ll talk about change. Next week, we’ll talk about priorities.

I’m going to be honest here… I’m still in the middle of a major life change. This could go very wrong. But I’m hoping that writing about it will help me survive. We’ll see how that works out; stay tuned…

Just a little more about myself… I have a bachelor’s degree in computer science, I worked in the high-tech industry for 20 years, I ran my own small business successfully for 6 years after that, I was married for 28 years, I raised 3 children (with much help from their mother). Before I earned a college degree, I worked in restaurants for 10 years. I think everyone should work in a restaurant for at least a year. I’ve worked in several different industries, but cooking and serving people food will teach you how to work, how to be humble, and if you do it right, how to take pride in what you do, no matter how humble it is. Back to our topic…

Life is all about change. We’re born, we depend on somebody, hopefully our parents, to provide for us until at some point we can walk, talk, eat, dress, and otherwise take care of ourselves. All of that growing up part is nothing but constant change. And then, hopefully, at some point in your late teens or early twenties, the big change comes; you venture out on your own. So much change! How did you deal with it? I got high. And drunk. And slept around a lot. Sex and drugs and rock ‘n’ roll. But it was the 80’s, so…

But then there was a baby. That. Changes. Everything! If you’re a parent, you get it. If not, there are other life changes and other responsibilities that are probably similar. Graduating college. Getting married. Buying a car, or a house. Acquiring a pet (never underestimate the responsibility of caring for another living creature). Or maybe something negative; an illness, a divorce, a death. In any case, there are big changes in life that alter your perspective. How you handle these events, and even the smaller changes in life, really defines who you are. I mean, that’s life, right? How are you handling it?

Here is where I have a confession to make. I happen to believe that I deal with change better than most people I have ever met. That’s not bragging, just an observation; it’s probably in my genes, or my astrological chart, or something. And that’s not to say that I don’t have a hard time with change. Everyone does. Again, it’s just part of life. But since this happens to be something I’m good at (and rest assured there are plenty of things that you’re good at that I am not), I thought I would share some life experience with you. If you read this far, you might as well keep going and see what I have to say…

Change happens on a huge spectrum. From a detour that makes it five minutes longer to get to work in the morning, to a global recession that puts you and your whole community out of work with no apparent recourse. From an allergy that makes your day just a little less pleasant to your child suddenly falling deathly ill. I’m not here to tell you how to deal with those most extreme cases. And I’m not here to address clinical depression or extreme anxiety. I’m talking about how most people get through day-to-day life, with the usual things that life throws at you. Like losing a job. Like getting older. Like relationships failing. Like the world around you going to hell in a handbasket. Like that.

And it’s worth noting that all change is difficult, even good change. Like, say, if you were homeless, sleeping in your van with all your worldly possessions, and suddenly, you got a job and found a roommate. Sure, it’s great to have an income and a bed to sleep in and people to socialize with, but all that change is still hard (don’t ask me how I know).

OK, so, there you are. Something changed. You were probably comfortable with how life was, with only a few minor complaints now and then, and BOOM! Shit happened. And now… AAAHHH! Chest constricting, stomach turning anxiety! Paralyzing fear! Gut wrenching sadness over the loss of what was… WHAT DO YOU DO???

Breathe.

Drink water.

Do the next thing.

It’s that simple.

First of all, let’s be clear. Your body and brain cannot function without oxygen and water. Seriously, it starts there. When everything seems overwhelming, stop and breathe. And drink a glass of water. You will be amazed at the difference in your mindset right there and then.

And then, do the next thing. Not THE BIG THING. The next thing. Do the dishes, take out the garbage, make your bed. Apply for a job, or go to work, or pay the electric bill. Take a shower, brush your teeth, eat a healthy meal. Do the next thing. I’m not going to tell you to stop thinking about your problems, because that never works. Do the next thing. That works. And if you keep doing the next thing, eventually, life moves on. And all of a sudden, eventually, you realize that you dealt with the change.

Maybe the next thing is applying for more jobs, or following through on your physical therapy, or changing yet another diaper. I’m not saying those things are easy. I’m saying don’t focus on the days/weeks/months/years ahead; just do the next thing. And try to do it well. Whatever it is. Doing your best at anything is an accomplishment, and accomplishments are good. When life is throwing you curve balls, just keep swinging. Don’t worry about the count, because life doesn’t play by those rules, and you shouldn’t either. (That was a baseball analogy. I’m not a baseball fan, but I do love sports analogies, so get used to it.)

OK, let’s sum up. Change happens. That’s life. Everyone has a hard time with it. How you deal with change will play a large part in defining your life. When hard change happens, just keep going; breathe, drink water, do the next thing.

And now that you’ve managed to get through the big change (or even a few little ones), you might have noticed that you have thought about or questioned your priorities as a result of this change in your life… and I’ll talk about that next week.

Until then, be nice to someone. Forgive someone. Accept someone for who they are.

[booksbroadwaybbc]

I want to improve socially but not sure where to even start (Long post incoming). via /r/selfimprovement

I want to improve socially but not sure where to even start (Long post incoming).

Disclaimer: For those who can’t be bothered to read this long ass post, I’ll leave a TL; DR for you at the end of the post, so you can just skip to that right now if you want. I’ll try my best to make it as short, sweet and concise as possible.

​

​

I’m so sick and tired of being lonely with barely any friends, never having girl’s interested in me and being the world’s most boring man. For the record, I’m an average looking/slightly unattractive 5’5, 162 lb. black male with an average body (I’ve never been cut or ripped but I’ve always had an ok body and been in above average shape. I also really enjoy working out). I feel my social skills are utter garbage and not really sure how to go about improving or where I even begin. I know that most people would say to practice talking to people to improve and I agree but the only problem is that I’m not a fan of approaching strangers, ESPECIALLY attractive females. This is mainly due to the fact that I’m not a very good conversationalist and I feel like I’ll sound like some boring nobody. If it’s someone I know or am familiar with, it’s a lot easier for me but it never goes beyond, ‘’How was your day’’ or ‘’ so how’s school going’’, those sort of conversations. After I’ve already talked about the basic/formal stuff, my mind goes blank and I never know what to say to keep the conversation going. This makes me feel boring as shit to talk to and end up feeling slightly down afterwards. Hell this even happens sometimes with my mother, probably one of the few people I’m most comfortable talking to about certain things (Not all the time though, she can be a piece a work herself too but that’s another story for another day). This problem becomes even more apparent when I’m talking to cute girls (only the ones I know which are very few in number, 1-2 in fact). To give you guys a perfect example of what I’m talking about, I ran into one of my old schoolmates today before I had to go to class (I’m a 19 freshman in college btw). We kind of have history together, attending the same Christin school aka private school and were in the same grade and class (Private school works a lot differently than public school, which would take way too long) but other than that. We were aware that each other existed and might talk every now and then but it never went past that. Anyways, this is basically how the initial interaction went:

*We were standing a feet away from each other while waiting for our classes. Happens to notice me after she notices that I was looking in her direction* (I wasn’t staring but I was kind of checking her out since she had a nice outfit on)

Her: Oh, hey!

Me: Hey, what’s good?

Her: What did you say? (We were standing a feet apart from each other)

Me: I said, hey what’s good?

Her: Oh, nothing much.

Me: Oh ok.

Me: Are you taking music appreciation too?

Her: No, I’m taking Stage building * I think that’s what she called it*

Me: Oh, so what exactly do you do in there?

Her: We build stages.

Me: Oh.

Me: Do you guys build for school plays or stuff like that?

Her: *Goes on to explain, it only took 5~10 secs so wasn’t that long. I also complete forgot what she told me because I was distracted by how pretty she was*

This was more or less the entire conversation went and the initial reason as to why I was ‘’motivated’’ to write this post in the first place. I felt like such a boring loser after that interaction. You want to know what the funny thing about all this is though. A couple months back, when I first ran into her, I talked to her for way longer than this. The conversation wasn’t super long or anything and still wasn’t as good as it could have been but it wasn’t nearly as short as this joke of an interaction. And this happens all the time with people I know. I run into them after a long period of not seeing them, I’m able to talk and hold a convo for a good while but the next time I see them I can never seem to get past, ‘’how was your day’’. Why all of a sudden now I can’t find anything more to talk about? Aren’t you supposed to be able to talk more when it’s people you know? Idk. I would like to write more but right now I can’t really think of anything so I’ll stop here. Do you guys have any suggestions on what to do or where to start to improve socially?

​

TL; DR: Social life sucks and looking to improve but not sure where or how to even begin. Also really bad at holding conversations with people I know and don’t know and desperately need advice getting better in that aspect.

Submitted August 29, 2018 at 01:52AM by that-nigga-will via reddit https://ift.tt/2Pdd0Ag

[trishgibsontx]

Hollywood is bullshit and everyone in or around it has always known it.

photo by Tsubasa Watanabe

I have said it for years now. Hollywood is going to crash. Everything is going to change — for the better. True talent will override money and favors. I started saying it in 2012 for some reason, when I could sense the true onset of the rise of truth and how authenticity would eventually be the only rule in society (hence everything “crashing” last year — and yes, it is all for the good, no matter what it looks like!). I would see now-famous actors and actresses during the earlier days of my healing work, super bright lights who would come to me and say “Elaine, why am I not working??” and I would say “because there is not enough truth in Hollywood yet — but YOU WILL”. those bright lights went on to star in current and above-board TV shows and hit Broadway. yes. the ones we all know and love. not run by monsters or pedos. because things have started to change, even just in recent years (mostly due to technology, but we can also take into account the Age of Aquarius! I guess it’s chicken and egg and it is ALL part of this BIGGER equation of the ascension of truth). the performers I worked with and do work with are the kind of lights that could not ever be dimmed by the temptation of money or fake ego-satisfying promises — because these were the people I was vetting out anyhow, on strictly a soul level (knowing nothing about them, not even their name prior to meeting them) and I wasn’t interested in working with soul sell-outs. the toll it would take on me physically and otherwise would have been too great. just as we see with the experiences of many of the unhappy byproducts of today’s Hollywood. no thanks! that is why, even as of now, I have a rule that a public figure does not leave me their full name or real name in a voicemail — I do not want to offend the wrong person, and this way it does not have to be personal at all if I take a pass on someone who would match Hollywood’s underbelly to begin with. you get the point here: the imminent rise of truth has been in my peripheral view for a long time and I apply that morale to my work. anyhow:

as a young child I loved to perform. sports, music and so forth. I would write my own music and sing until I was about 10 and much of my confidence went straight out of the window. that detail is a digression, but I do want to give some personal background before I continue this post. it was in my core to express myself, and it brought me joy. for whatever reason, my ability to carry through with those gifts was cut short and I became a ruminator for many years and kind of let life happen to me. but that desire to express, to convey, and to share energy from an artistic or spiritual perspective is who I always was and always will be. in my teens, I went to a model scouting event with my sister because my parents thought she could be a model. while we were standing in line, the founder of the company came to me and gave me her business card. she told me to come in for a private casting and that basically they would pay me $150 per catwalk or something, during the day at this venue. I think at the time I felt bad and didn’t tell my sister or my mother who were both there, either that or no one gave it any credence. I don’t really remember. but I did decide to go to the casting. I was dating my first real boyfriend at the time, and he brought me to the casting. keep in mind, this was the 90s lol. no phones, no social media, etc. I showed up and waited in a room with these giraffe models who were practicing their catwalks. I felt immediately inadequate and out-of-place. the woman who invited me came over to me to take my measurements. at the time, was built like a JLo, only taller at 5’7″. as the woman put her hands on my hips I could see the excitement in her eyes about being her first curvy model. she told me I would need to lose at least an inch and a half, but that I could walk for her. the company she had and the venue in which I was to be hired were definitely above-board. the woman was nice. but I felt that immediate sense that I would have to adjust or conform. I was already super thin at about 120lbs. I loved my curves. I did not suffer from any body image issue, thank God. I did have other problems though, like zero confidence to go walk and make good money as a teen and probably have that lead to many other things in the big apple. I couldn’t get my head high enough, and I was stiff and rigid as I walked, even though the woman told me she wanted to hire me and she would work with me on my walk. I don’t know if I was just too PTSD at that point to be seen, or if it was the stench of desperation I got from the other girls (which was MAJOR, btw), or if it was the knowing that I would have to change part of me (lose weight) to “fit” somewhere, but I walked away from it. at the time, it was a big thing to walk away from, because it was right up my alley of having some kind of stage presence and sharing some kind of energy and I would at least have had a solid modeling portfolio and good money at the time. it was also spring into summer, so I could have worked 5 days a week. but I didn’t sign, I walked away. and I will never forget feeling like I was walking away from a path that would have taken me straight and fast into Hollywood somehow. I was fine though, I had other things going for me, like my brain.

during college I never once shook the feeling that I was in the wrong place. I was taking business and marketing classes when I wanted nothing to do with them. I felt like an imposter. I began by majoring in psychology, but even that felt forced and I didn’t like the boxes they used to define people. I think it was safe to say that I was there just to prove something to those who expected something from me or to prove to myself that if I ever ended up being “seen” by many that at least I had some solid “real world” experience first. and actually, I was right and it did serve me. I talk about that in other posts. so I weathered the conventional track, conforming like I considered everyone else would be doing too. during my final year in college, another woman scouted me at a karaoke night. she was an agent and wanted me to work with her. she created musical acts or something. I did not have a good voice, but I could carry a note. that’s all that many creators of artists cared about during that time, I think. I met with her and I got that same vibe — that I would be owned, somehow, some way. so I declined.

immediately after college I could not wait to get away from New England and be somewhere warm and free and creative. I moved far away into a scene where it was sunny every day and there was always a music video or film being shot on my block. my very first week there, I met a reputable actor who invited me to drinks with his coworkers. they were major filmmakers. it was basically us and a group of men, and they were shooting this huge hit movie that we all now know. there was an open invitation on the table if I wanted to take some small part, like a non-speaking part and just be a featured dancer or something in a nightclub scene. I never responded or followed up. I never got a creepy vibe from anyone either, but I did just get this sense that if I even dipped my toe in, I would be owned. and let me make this clear, please: it is not hard to get famous. it is not hard to book roles when you are getting offers like I did and will further detail here. but something kept saying to me “no”. still, it also went against what I always saw myself doing though, which was communicating with large numbers of people. I wasn’t sure how to bridge that gap. but I just kind of…followed myself. I didn’t ever want to be known just for the sake of it. I wanted to make a contribution to society or people and animals and so I was doing this thing in my head where the facts didn’t add up to any kind of legitimate contribution I could make by taking some cheap role. even if it was a door to another door that would lead to me being able to make a major contribution. and, I was too young at the time in my own right, to have any kind of legit message of my own to share. I remember leaving the nightclub we were gathered at for drinks and learning how famous these men were and feeling special that I was near them. I was also like a fish out of water that night though — I refused to let anyone on this LA team buy me anything, I watched my drink like a hawk, I wouldn’t even give my home address to the actor I met. my PTSD and high alert responses that I had developed at such an early age perhaps served me well.

a few months later, also still in my new city, I was offered a role in a major music rap video. yes, I know, imagine me in one. but at the time, I was young and super comfortable in my body and thong bikinis running all over the beach, so it didn’t feel so far out-of-place. like young women in their early 20s, I was enjoying my life and learning about people and the cruel world and socializing and also I was tan. I was VERY TAN…ha. I knew also, that I was scouted for my figure, which was unconventional to a caucasian woman with blonde hair and blue eyes. I felt the JLo train that was in its prime during that time and I knew that my look was the “new” and “cool” look (fast forward and think of all the butt implants etc we see). still, I felt that if I took this role (with prominent stars and what I considered at that time to be a lot of money), that somehow again I would be owned. I couldn’t put my finger on it, or what I thought being owned actually was. but my intuition kept speaking. I turned away from that opps and others like it and kept socializing instead while working my little marketing job (you can read more about this era of my life in my first eBooklet in the shop page!). I would also often be amongst many of the music icons of our time, either at dinner or at their table at some nightclub. everyone was always nice, I never had ANY bad experiences, but I also probably missed out on the bad experiences because of who I was at the time — I was someone who could not justify doing xyz unless it MEANT something. what would doing a rap video or a movie MEAN? I mean, really? and so for me, the equation was comprised of a trade-off that would not satisfy me. the kind of trade-offs that all of these women in Hollywood are suddenly talking about. and so, HOW, you tell me, does a young 20-something (me) who has never officially worked in this business at that point but who is around it, smell the trade-off that now everyone is talking about? I’ll tell you how: because that trade-off has ALWAYS BEEN THERE. I wasn’t even in it, and I could smell. it. the fact of the matter is, some of us are willing to sell our soul for the riches and the attention and the “creative fulfillment” and some are just not. I wasn’t. I didn’t even want to be a bystander of that trade-off, let alone a victim.

as my life was completely falling apart and unraveling during this particular time (again that’s another post, eBooklet 1 on my shop page), one would think it would have been completely easy for me to just sell out because I was so weakened emotionally and otherwise. instead, I would rather have been homeless. and, I became homeless. but that’s another story, another post. after losing my marketing job due to unforeseen and untoward experiences with those very close to me, I made friends with this older man whom I had met through a “powerful” nonprofit foundation. he didn’t work with the foundation, but he was friends with the director who I had once worked with. this older man decided that I was the next “it” factor, the next star of our time, and so he wanted to be friends with me and “mentor” me. he was no problem, he never hit on me or made me uncomfortable. mainly, he just used me for rides because he was broke (but no one knew it — repossessed car, fancy home). over the course of the few months I spent time with him (platonic time) he saw many men “in the business” either in front of the camera or behind it, pursue me. this man who thought he was my mentor must have been some kind of God send, because he would coach me on the things to say to the people who wanted to take me on dates. I would write down his words on pieces of paper. one paper said “Hi ___ . I’m not into dating or sleeping with anyone right now.” Yes, I would say this first thing during phone conversations. I was totally coached by this guy, because he worked with Hollywood in years prior and knew the baiting game that came with it. he told me that it was extremely important to be straight up before even any small talk. there was no texting at this time (except for 2-way devices, which I didn’t have) so it was all phone conversations. I had my little piece of paper on the kitchen counter and when I would get on the phone with someone who worked in Hollywood, it was the first thing I would say. due to situations in my past, also, with creepy men, I was totally on high alert before I ever really needed to be. I was lucky, I guess. I was always afraid that I was going to be assaulted or something, so I was extremely careful about who I spent my time with and where.

one night, after reading from my mentor’s script and making plans with a famous Hollywood hot man person, I emptied my bank account (all $100 of it) and packed it into my little wallet before our date. in true awkward fashion, I was destined to not allow him to pay for one thing. I flashed my little wad of cash around at the first place we went for food and he told me I needed to get a money clip. he thought I was rich. this was probably a good thing at that time. and it was so contrary to the truth. the man I was with, I would like to add, was truly the man of the moment. it was his peak of success. so this was a big deal to me and I didn’t know how exactly to handle it, but my mind kept saying “stay safe, do not get hurt, do not be alone with him”. probably he was not a rapist, and probably my mind was overactive, but why? because I was attuned to that which everyone else in or around Hollywood was and is attuned to: that it is run on sex, favors and ego. and mostly sex and sexual advances that people pretend doesn’t happen. I didn’t choose to bury my head in the sand, and so I remained on high alert. I had one of the best nights of my life, and toward the end of it, famous man had to use the loo. for some reason, he wanted to use the loo in his penthouse suite. I remember the elevator ride up with him, in which he pinned me against the elevator wall and kissed me passionately. I remember feeling cool, again because I was with this hot famous man, but also on guard because this meant we would end up alone in his room. I remember this scene so crystally clear now: we got to his suite and he walked ahead of me to the bathroom. I left the door to his suite ajar — completely ajar. odd move, right? I had no reason not to trust him, he had a good reputation and all, but I also had no reason TO trust him. so I left the damn door open and stood next to it. he used the loo — also with that door open so I could hear him peeing. which turned me off. my stance in front of the open door to his hotel room with the door completely ajar could not have been more obvious. I remember feeling only very minor potential danger, because I had recently watched this movie about date rape and I didn’t want to be a statistic or put either one of us in an awkward position. when he finished using the bathroom, I stayed stoic like a fixture in between the door arches with the hall light beaming on me, and that was his signal to approach me and leave the suite. he invited me to the beach the next day.

maybe I’m really lucky, because I have heightened senses. but, I also don’t think that my senses are unique. a lot of people have them and push them away, or push them down into an unconscious space BECAUSE THEY WANT WHAT THEY WANT. it is more important to them to be the A-lister, to make that money, to be revered by the masses. and that is kind of the point of this long-winded post. which is not close to being over yet. and my point is, at what point do we stop selling out as human beings? I hate to sound like I think I am better than others, because I am not and I am just as imperfect as anyone on this planet, but HOW is it that hardly anyone speaks up when they should just because they are trapped by human ego? or perhaps they are so desensitized by Hollywood as young children and they are truly victims of the system. this complete lack of understanding that I have about how humans can be made so disingenuously to themSELVES, is what makes me pray for UFO abduction at night. people have, like, zero moral compass it seems. and they go and they make their films, and they KNOW what happens to their peers or employees. and the women are equally accountable! the ones who fake this heir of “greatness” as role models for millions of young people, yet hide the reality of the underbelly of Hollywood until they “have to” say something, knowing full well all along what I sensed at a young age and turned AWAY from — I did not need an actual rape or threat to KNOW. it was fucking palpable, man! forget about your job, forget about your money, how well do you sleep at night and how peaceful are you during the day? because that is the real measure of success and power. and it is never too late to change, to become authentic and make a difference for those who don’t have perspective yet or for the innocent.

after the hot famous man date, I didn’t go out with him again. I knew that he wanted arm candy. he didn’t understand why I wasn’t modeling and why I was taking a mundane route in life. I didn’t fit his cool Hollywood life and I was ok with it. I know I was a conundrum. to him and others. I then met another man, who worked in Hollywood. this one worked behind the scenes doing marketing for music events. I met him at a music festival and traveled with him to Los Angeles to “make some things happen”. this was still in my early days of having unfortunate comfort with duality, since it was ALL that I knew up until that point, and so it became relevant to me on our “business trip” to LA that he was just trying to make money in any way he could and his company was a sham. the irony, to me though, was that he was friends with a large portion of Hollywood. the people, the parties, the blah blah blah, he was in it. so typical! I decided half way during the trip that there was nothing there with him workwise (duh! and thankfully he never pushed himself on me in any way) and I dipped. I then met another person — another Hollywood person — who was surrounded by women. I felt safe because there were so many women around him! that meant, he MUST be trustworthy! I was sure that I had struck some kind of gold, because I had lost my job in the city I was living in and here was this marketing opportunity. only, it wasn’t. I got to his hotel room in West Hollywood with his bodyguard for a meeting and there were women there. like, half-naked. it was a large two-bedroom in a gated community that seemed totally above-board from the outside. this time, my spidey senses had been down. after all, I was tired, disoriented, and deeply in need of stability in life. I had zero idea that there was anything untoward happening. but as soon as I saw what I saw, my insides turned upside down. this man spoke to me the way one would interview someone at Starbucks. as if there was nothing irregular. the half-naked women were like baristas making coffee. one was in a freaking bathrobe. business as usual. the women were beautiful and I could not understand why they would be there in this situation. I felt badly for them. I felt like they missed out on something that I got lucky with. I never judged them. they felt like true victims to me. they were so young, too. this was my first time in Hollywood and my first experience with something like this. somehow, by the grace of God, I knew exactly how to act. I acted like I was totally in — but I had to leave first and come back was all. I never went back.

I started seeing a pattern. my life sans anything Hollywood or famous people didn’t include the same kind of fear or creep factor. I didn’t need to read from a script or assert myself before entering a conversation or a room. at least not to the same degree. I went back to the city that I was living in, and every day was still like it always was — I was approached weekly for modeling, film and TV opportunities. this is because I was living in the hotspot for such. I was so exhausted from all of my adventures (oh, and being evicted from my home) that I moved back to New England instead and craved a “simple life”. and a simple life I chose. I still did karaoke on Monday nights, fantasizing about being a performer, and went to my boring financial sales job hungover the next morning. my escape was listening to Alice In Chains while driving down the I-95 at 8am on the way to work, smoking a capri cigarette, in deadlock traffic while applying mascara. I wore my coolest T-shirts underneath my cheap and ugly grey suit that I got at Marshalls and wore 3x a week and I felt slightly free. I was a fake financial sales person; a closeted medical intuitive and healer who listened to Carolyn Myss on her headset all day and learned about intuition and chakras. I was an imposter in the “system”. but at least I wasn’t an imposter in my soul, like I felt I would be if I obliged Hollywood.

a few years later, I got knocked over the head, out of finance, and into a space where I felt I didn’t have a choice but to pursue media – on camera. I can’t explain the pull, because of my major fear of being seen, but it was greater than just the joy of sharing energy with other actors. it was more so a calling that said “you paid your dues, you learned your lesson, now go and pursue this path or else”. deep inside, I knew that I needed to do this because it would relate to my message later on in life. so I hit the pavement — with no agent — and did a ton of background work and some plays and photo double work for celebrities. this felt safe, because 1) I was in NYC, not some hippy dippy hokey pokey beach community like I had been prior and 2) I owned myself. I had no agent, and I was my boss. I managed to book enough work to live, and I did some workshops with casting directors who were with shows that were on TV for decades. I worked really fucking hard to make this happen. I was also pretty sure that hitting the pavement didn’t require flirting with anyone for a job and the casting director I stayed in touch with from a workshop was gay, so things were good. I got hired for the rest of one year on a reputable soap that was just enough time to get some experience and make some kind of a mark or professional credits for myself. after the soap ended and moved to LA (and I did not!), offers to sign with agents came in. once again, that feeling came back…”why would I go do xyz, for what reason will I do this project?”. fortunately or not, I signed with no one. I met some really nice agents and casting directors who are above-board to this day, but I also know that they were not ignorant to the underbelly of Hollywood. and while they were nice, I just felt averted to pursuing what felt like it would be so easy to sell out for, on some level, consciously or unconsciously. around this time, I did a brief job on another hit TV show. only because my spidey senses are incredibly high did I hear this verbatim while on the job: I was standing in cue for “action”, and I hear the director say in response to his ADs comment “well you can get anything you want”, motioning at me — “and I probably will”, motioning at me, with a smirk. this was the first time I was on a set and heard something like that, and it was directed at me. I almost wanted to deny what I was hearing. I felt shame, and I quickly shoved that shame way way down. why would this man say this about me? also, he was so…old. grandpa age for me at the time. what would I want with him? after the scene, the director approached me and gave me his cell phone number. instead of feeling shame in that instant, I felt important. he said he might have a part for me on a show (he had many). he said to meet him that night at his hotel in the lobby. I was living with my boyfriend at the time, and I asked my boyfriend (he was a bit of a sell-out himself and just wanted a famous girlfriend) if I should go. of course I should go he said. I landed at this fancy hotel and met the director for drinks. we sat near the big windows and watched the people walk by. we talked about our lives, and the first thing he talked about was which part he would give to me. I think I kept changing the conversation to personal life, for some reason — like, who were his parents, who WAS HE, etc. and somewhere in the middle of the conversation, something…changed. it was like he saw me as a person. then I really felt like I was with my grandpa, not this creepy TV director with decades in the biz. it was like watching someone who had been forgiven for their sins, the expression on his face as we ordered our third set of drinks. it began to retroactively dawn on me that he had invited me there to sleep with me. because we were in a public place, I felt safe. and I also felt like there was more humanity to him than his initial intentions showed. he told me, flat-out, that I surprised him. as a human being. I recall him being absolutely bowled over with the fact that I was not a whore. this made me feel sad. for him, for Hollywood, for many actors and actresses. I was like a little kid finding out Santa was not real. our conversation continued and I really felt like I was with a beloved grandpa. instead of going to his hotel room, we went into the restaurant and had dinner. he was looking at me differently now. I didn’t know what to think. I also knew that any talk of a part on the show was off the table. I got it. I understood why I was invited there and I also understood that something had shifted — for me, but really for this director. I can’t say, to this day, what it was, other than he saw my humanity. and I was ignorant enough to believe that he would never have wanted anything from me except to honor my great talent (lol! that’s a joke) and offer me a role in this hit show. he stopped talking about the thing he promised me he wanted to talk about (my role) and he just became a person. we were both a little drunk at this point, and there was just some surrender around him that to this day I will never forget. he went on and on and on telling me how special and lucky I was, that I was a “real person”. I left the hotel perplexed, somehow joyful, and on my ride home he left me a very long voicemail. I kept it for years. it reiterates his surprise and surrender around the fact that I didn’t play the game, only he used other words for it. it was the most bizarre but interesting and somehow heart-warming voicemail I have ever gotten. I never got any work from this person, and we stayed in touch over email about surface subjects down the road. I never once told him that I heard his comment on set that day and that I hoped that I had just heard wrong. I never told anyone until writing this here, about the experience that day. part of me could not admit to myself where he was headed with me. and because somehow, for some reason, the angels vindicated that situation that day, maybe just once or maybe forever for him and definitely forever protecting me.

I could go on and on (as if I haven’t already) about ALL of the people who told me that xyz person slept with xyz person and EVERYONE knew about it and just turned away. powerful women knew. powerful men knew. just like all the manifestos you are hearing about related to the HW situation as of late. I heard a lot of second, and a few, first hand accounts. to this day, I can not believe some of the stories because they are so shocking. like, these are A-list women who supposedly do xyz for xyz. I guess I’m like an overgrown child or something, but I’m still shocked about the way the world works. but I am equally happy that I am not jaded. and yet, at the same time, the ick factor, the spidey sense I have for sexual advances and favors in advance for roles or whatever is sky-high — for that and also for the abuse of both men AND women that occurs long after roles have been booked and played, and a career is held hostage by a sloppy gluttonous person who seeks to bed every person they hire.

a couple of years after I dropped the acting ball to come further out of the closet with my healing work, I was still trying to make it in production. I worked with some super crappy and desperate people and decided I wasn’t a whole enough person to continue in production. but before I left, I met a big Hollywood producer at a friend’s screening. I was hopeful that maybe someone as great and kind as HE would surely have words of advice and encouragement for me! I took him to Soho House (his membership, not mine) for drinks. I started to talk about how to quantify the equity that I had brought to this one film I was on, and how the Producer wouldn’t give me a contract to clarify what she promised me, and I had all of these important questions, and all he wanted to talk about was how I don’t use my sexuality in meetings and therefore I will never get anything even in production. HUH? I swear to you. he told me that by shutting down my sexuality, it closes doors. he told me it’s “easy” to book a good TV role or get xyz credit. he acted like it was as easy as ordering the drinks we were having. I felt insecure, I didn’t know why I wasn’t sexy, I didn’t know what I was doing wrong, and I really looked up to him and believed him. I had no idea how to change myself though, so I just internalized it and felt stupid. he seemed angry that I wasn’t hitting on him, but I didn’t know that I was supposed to. I paid our huge bill and left and never saw him again. he later said nasty things about me the mutual friend who introduced us. #Hollywood! I later found out that this “man” supposedly turned all Buddhist or spiritual or something and had distanced himself from Hollywood. I mean…whatever. go and re-do your soul no doubt!

I know why I didn’t pursue Hollywood, and I didn’t even have the horrible firsthand experiences that so many women AND men have. so, why wasn’t the current news about HW SUPER mainstream already, years before now? because everyone remotely close to Hollywood or in it DEFINITELY knows and turns the other way. even if they know just in a passing sense. yet, many of them continue to work and say nothing. not all, but many, who are close enough to these situations, have a human responsibility to walk away from that which does not honor them or others. they know unconsciously, all of them. the thing about Hollywood is, if you are conscious and working, you are not sleeping well. or, if you are conscious and working, then you have managed to meet the smallest percentage of people who are true and good and do not abuse their power. that percentage does exist. it is just extremely small (and even in that, there are people who know about the rot they just go nowhere near it or it hasn’t been their place to talk about it). otherwise, you are unconscious for a living. what we have is not an issue of ignorance in our society, but rather an issue of a broken moral compass. why is the human species so fucking weak?

it’s not just Hollywood of course, as it is EXACTLY in the modeling industry — for both genders. can I tell you how many POSs I know who harass young hopeful MEN for “dick pics” in exchange for castings? can I tell you, from firsthand experience, how many young men feel that they have to pretend to be gay to book a job? when I was fresh out of college I was dating a model in another city and he would break down and tell me about how he was raped by photographers and how he felt so guilty because he could not defend himself. he was also not a US Citizen, and he was and felt threatened and didn’t know what to do. this shit happens ALL. THE. TIME. and the agents and casting directors look the other way so they can cash their check and attend their next bullshit party on the red carpet with people who could care less about them. it’s all such a sham — unless it actually isn’t, which does exist, but again it is SO few and far between (and on the rise, thankfully!).

I will avoid detailing first-hand accounts of others abuse here because they are not my accounts and it does not feel right, but what I want with this post is to let young people know that anything fast and bright is a SHAM. promises of money, attention, fame or whatever else will hit you with a price most or all of the time. there are very few people who can navigate the “system” in Hollywood with any sort of integrity. I don’t regret one “opportunity” that I “missed” by either being extra cautious or just saying “no”. I still say no, all of the time, to a LOT of things! maybe I’ve slowed my own track in life, but at least it is an honorable one. if you are an actor or actress and you don’t understand why you can’t book work, please know that the system is crumbling so that it can change and expand. with the crumbling of networks and studios in recent years, there are spaces for individual and powerful distribution to get your message across. and those of you waiting, those of you “not booking”, it’s because you have something to SAY. and you will be heard. I know you will be heard because I SEE with my own eyes people I have worked with make that transition over these last few years alongside their MESSAGE. that’s what I have waited so long for, in terms of putting a solid message out there, whether that includes me being on-screen again along with it or just behind the scenes. I refused to thus far go and spoil my message on some black hole that only perpetuates myths and half-truths. AND I COULD HAVE. and I could, as a consequence, have all of the “things” that our sick society deems “important” or “cool” or “powerful” and it makes me sick to see otherwise educated and intelligent people agreeing with it. because even before I knew it, I knew it: Hollywood is bullshit and everyone in or around it has also always known it and the rot that devours the lights.

      The post Hollywood is bullshit and everyone in or around it has always known it. appeared first on The Medical Intuitive Blog: Healing Elaine.

from Trisha Gibson http://www.themedicalintuitiveblog.com/2017/10/17/hollywood-bullshit-everyone-around-always-known/

[jaymebyers1971]

Public Discourse and Conversation

So I have a childhood friend (well I was closer with his younger sister who was a year behind us) who runs an organization called Less Government.org.  He is of course an arch-conservative. I disagree with a lot of what he supports.  But I do agree with some.  And I enjoy, at times, interacting on his thread.  And because I don’t wear blinders and I am not close minded, I am more than willing to listen to opposing views.  But the following exchange has me somewhat frustrated.  Is this really what discourse and debate has come to in this country among presumably somewhat intelligent and educated people?  It’s disappointing and honestly somewhat scary.  It’s scary because of what it portends for the future if this trend continues.  I know I am not crazy.  I know I showed no hate in my responses.  I know that I was not arrogant or condescending.  I know that my initial comment was thoughtful and reasoned as were all of my responses. The responses I got, the reactions, and the accusations make no rational sense. The blindness, the rationalizations and justifications that these two women display in their willingness to block out anything that doesn’t agree with them is stunning.  And staggeringly disturbing.  And the saddest part is they miss the fact that I am actually supportive of the issue being discussed.  

Am I crazy to feel that a point should be able to stand on its own without name-calling or fact-twisting? Am I wrong to feel that being inflammatory, accusatory or negative simply detracts from your point, making people feel like you are trying to distract them from the fact that the point is not valid or supportable – even if it actually is? Is it wrong to be scared about this sickening trend in our public discourse?

"Trump's immigration ban is unconstituional."

"Actually, it isn't. But while we're here - where in the Constitution is the federal government expressly empowered to create Social Security, Medicare or Medicaid or the Departments of Education or Energy or the Environmental Protection Agency?"

"........Racist."

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Cassedy Stien they don't get it!

 Like · Reply · 1 · 5 hrs

Cassedy Stien I just wrote this on a drone's wall. You liberals want to break our laws and let everyone into our country then you take them in, house them, buy their drugs and get their diseases. You American haters want socialism because you want your freebies like Anthony. He wants to get his teeth fixed so bring down America, open up the flood gates, destroy our constitutional rights and have a ONE WORLD GOVT where NO ONE HAS RIGHTS but we all get to be fed in the food lines, get our free shots and healthcare and be cradled from BIRTH TO DEATH! No thank you!

Like · Reply · 1 · 5 hrs

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 James Byers I don't paint all conservatives with the same brush. I am neither naive enough, arrogant enough, condescending enough or for that matter stupid enough to do so. I do not and never have used the words Republican, conservative, or even "tea party" as pejoratives. I do not assume that all conservatives (of any flavor) are stupid, ignorant or naive. I am a proud Democrat, a moderate but yes still a liberal. And painting me with the same brush as the far left is as self-defeating for your side as my side painting all conservatives with the same brush I (or we) apply to the alt-right. You want to change someone’s mind, you want them to listen to your arguments, then present those arguments with factual support and do so in a way that does not make you look like or come across as a deluded psycho, out of touch with reality, operating in a world of blinders and simply spewing one more rant. I have never felt marginalized by anything Seton Motley himself has posted and I can't think of a single post of his I was not able to fact check his claims and find them valid - even when I disagreed with him. I cannot say the same for many of the people who comment on his posts. I am someone who wants to be convinced by legitimate arguments. Rants will not do it. And I am sick and tired of narrow minded people unable to engage in reasoned discussion without trashing their opponents. I am thoroughly sick of being opposed by people who use the words Democrat or Liberal as pejoratives and who refuse to understand that neither party nor side is monolithic. Both represent a wide range of thoughts, beliefs opinions and ideas. We work best when we work to build on our common ground not work to drive the wedge and schism deeper and wider. (That being said, Cassedy Stien, I love your Dumbass post above - pointed and accurate.)

Like · Reply · 2 hrs

Cassedy Stien James Byers Guess what the thread started with? Name calling and f bombs so whatever you say. Good luck with that. Most of these idiots are hopeless. Just like George Washington during the revolutionary war. 1/3 joined the British, 1/3 did nothing and our greatest 1/3 fought and gave their lives, homes and families for our freedoms.

Like · Reply · 1 · 2 hrs

James Byers Cassedy Stien Can you please give me your sources for your 1/3 quotes. I don't like numbers without facts behind them. As someone who grew up the son of a professional historian, an assistant director of the National Archives who specialized in American History I find your numbers somewhat questionable.

Like · Reply · 1 · 2 hrs

James Byers Cassedy Stien And furthermore I am sure you have heard the saying two wrongs don't make a right. It doesn't matter what the "other" side lowers themselves to, don't ever go down in the gutter to play - you've already lost once you have.

Like · Reply · 2 hrs

James Byers Cassedy Stien Also for the record I am a combat veteran who did put his life on the line for this country. Still a liberal.

Like · Reply · 2 hrs

Helen Jeck Cassedy Stien So we know James is a liberal but keeps quiet so he can think he is so thoughtful. Your name calling gave you away immediately....that is all you had to do....

Helen Jeck James Byers Most of us stopped listening when you showed your hate.

 Cassedy Stien James thanks for ur service! Bye who's side were u fighting for? Our constitutional republic or for NWO??? Just curious?

Cassedy Stien Btw sorry iPhone auto correct

Cassedy Stien Btw save ur little condescending speech for someone who cares!! Lol

 James Byers Helen Jeck How in God's name is pointing out that name calling simply turns people off and therefore defeats the purpose of convincing them of your point in any way hate? How is asking for factual support of a point in anyway showing hate? How is the fact that I told Ms. Stein that I liked her Dumbass pic/post? Which obviously shows that I do in fact support this executive order and believe it is legal. How is the fact that I have posted multiple times in this comment tread and respond to and post multiple times in many of Seton Motley's posts in any way indicative of me choosing to be or actually being quiet? I think dear lady that you and I have different definitions of hate and quiet.

Helen Jeck James Byers Never allow myself to have a REAL conversation with anyone who is childish....get it.

James Byers So when someone in an intelligent and reasoned manner challenges your preconceived worldview they are childish? That's amusing to say the least. I am very open to listening to the other side. I have voted and supported both Republicans and Democrats. Disagreeing with someone does not make me right or they wrong - it simply means we have a difference of opinion. It also doesn't make them or I childish, hateful, ignorant, stupid, and condescending or any number of adjectives that get thrown around by both sides these days. And rants and name calling should never be necessary to make a point. A good point will always stand on its own merits and facts. You should try it sometime - it's very refreshing. And it is also the practice of the person Seton Motley whose thread you are commenting on.