#<- as in i can't tell if they have gathered that i'm autistic or if they just think i'm strange in a bad way

[zipquips]

.

[the-delta-quadrant]

there's this AuDHD person on instagram who gets a lot of hate from people saying they're faking their autism.

one of the reasons these people brought up is that they wear noise cancelling headphones in their own apartment, when real autistic people would only wear them outside.

i mean, this is already so obviously bullshit because people of every neurotype already wear noise cancelling headphones at home. plus, the commenters don't actually know that this person also isn't wearing them in public. they just think they're "too sensitive" for needing them in their own house.

but as a vision impaired autist, there's an extra layer for me.

i exclusively wear my noise cancelling headphones inside my house. i do not wear them in public, no matter how loud it is.

you wanna know why?

it does not feel safe.

noise cancelling headphones cancel out much of the sound that i need to hear when i go out in public to be able to tell where a car or a person is coming from or how far away they are from me.

the only place i would even remotely feel safe wearing noise cancelling headphones outside is in the small village i grew up. but even there i get so paranoid about cars because i'm traumatised.

i fucking wish i could drown out the noise while still being able to rely on my hearing but i can't.

it's either safety and potential sensory overload or sensory comfort and potential danger.

both decisions are valid but i choose safety.

so that pretty much does leave me only wearing my noise cancelling headphones in my own house. but it helps. i don't even live in the loudest area and i have really quiet neighbours but after a long day in public or at a family gathering or something and not being able to drown out anything, the smallest thing at home could send me into a meltdown.

do these people really need us to go outside with noise cancelling headphones even though it might be unsafe just to prove we're real autists?

bitch, i already get so disoriented when it's windy because all the sounds suddenly sound weird. i'm not doing that, lmao.

[romanarose]

WHAT IF

(and I'm sorry if I ask something that's happened in canon. I haven't read all the bonus LAL content yet)

What if Santi and Laci traveled for a vacation and she got lost from him or just had a triggering meltdown (if this is too sensitive a question, that's okay, I understand!)

Leather and Lace

RomanaVerse Birthday Bash

I just let you skip right ahead on this one lol You actually get a fic bc i love the idea

Santiago Garcia x OC!Lacina Dumas

For context, although I don't know if it'll come out officially, I think of Laci as autistic. He non verbal episodes, sensitivities, overwhelmed by sounds and people that was only compounded by her trauma. She has lower support needs in her 30's but thats how i view her.

Santi, first of all, would be losing his fucking mind if he lost her on vacation. He would he blame himself so fast but he also was good at keeping a clear head. Maybe they traveled to Miami after Leto was born (Since you havnt read bonus content or Take your time and for the longest time, in the current timeline Santi and Laci just got maried and Laci is 5 month pregnant with their son, Leto Antonio Garcia-Dumas. Name started as joke between me and Mona and when talking baby names but then we decided we liked it.)

Imagine it, Santi carrying Leto in a front carrier, both of them with glasses and blue hates and looking cute as hell matching. Santi admittedly had a slight preference for a girl but he was absolutely head over heels for his son. Perfect wife, perfect baby, perfectly family. He carried the baby, wanting to do it until he knees or neck start really bothering him. Laci was recovered by the c-section but he liked spending time close with Leto. He liked having his son right up to his chest while holding his pretty wife's hand as she practically skipped at the zoo.

He cant remember why he let go of her, something about adjusting Leto's hat? Or fixing the straps? It didn't matter. He kept walking, trusting Laci was at his side in the crowded zoo. Then, when it was done and he looked to his right she was gone.

Logically, Santi knew she hadn't been taken. Santi knew that in the US, women weren't grabbed off the streets for sex trafficking. He'd worked with enough anti-trafficking missions to know these women are mostly tricked, and almost always by people they trust. He knew that, really. Still there was still that panic, that flash in his head that he'd have to see her again the way he did when he found her. Beaten and bloodied, grey skinned and bones jutting out. Laci's therapist said he was traumatized from all he'd seen, from the way he found Laci, now his wife, in such a state. He'd reflect on this later.

More realistically, he knew as soon as Laci knew she was separated from him, she'd panic. She'd been doing amazing, recoverying in a lot of ways but she still can't be outside their home or her work without someone she trusts. He immidietly starts looking for her, calling out her name, wishing they'd gone with Frankie and Jana or Will and Lorelei so it wasn't just him looking, His left hand craddles Leto, protecting the pre-me as he pushed through crowds, his voice getting more and more frantic.

"LACI!!!"

Then he hears someone calling for security and a crowd gathering off in the distance a bit. He thinks the worst, and rushes off hoping he's found her. When he gets close he hears her. Laci is crumbled on the ground, trying to curl into a ball but the security had his hand on her arm, trying to pull her, saying she has to leave. An older woman with a toddler holding her hand is trying to defusing the situtation, saying to let her go, he's making it worse.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER!" Rushes to his wife, yanks securities hands off his wife and drops down, trying to hold her but also be careful with Leto. He's crying now, the jostling of the search scarying him.

Security tells him they need to leave, Santi harshly tells him to shut up. He can't take care of Laci and Leto, Laci covering her ears but huddling close to him, crying hystericly. Santi hasn't seen Lace like this possibly ever, she usually shuts down during incidents. The nice older lady offers to hold Leto, and when Santi seems hesitant, she sits next to them on the ground. She can't run off with him, so he takes Leto out to where he is soothed by the stranger.

Santi gets behind Laci, squeezing her in a hug but not restraining her. He just knows she likes the pressure. She likes his arms around her while he speaks calming words. If she knows he's there, she knows she's safe.

*

Back at the hotel, Santi lets her rest. He orders her favorite foods and handles everything with Leto other than Laci breastfeeding.

It's 2 am, Laci is unable to sleep so they find I Love Lucy on the TV and watch it together in the warm glow, Letos travel crib safely next to their bed.

"I'm sorry baby." Santi whispers into her hair. "I shouldn't have let you out of my sight."

She shakes her head, pulling her hands out of the blanket to sign. "I'm 31. I should be able to go to a fucking zoo."

Laci doesn't swear. Not on principle, but its just not in her nature. When she does, he knows its real. She's upset with herself.

Santi knows he can't point out the obvious. That she hasn't lived a normal life, that she's experienced and survived horrors most people can't even comprehend. He knows that won't help. "It's okay, baby. You're making so many improvements, and I'm gonna be every step of the way with you. I'm so proud of how far you come."

It didn't have the desired effect. Her cute little face scrunched up, and she began to softly cry. How could he make her see? Make her understand how proud he was of her?

"I'll never be a good mom"

And Santi's heart shatters, breaks into a million pieces at the though she thinks she isn't. Laci hold a lot of guilt for Leto being premature and thus being born blind. She thinks she got pregnant too soon, that she didn't take care of her stress levels enough, or eat right or this or that. She loves Leto so much she feels she can't be enough.

"Munequita, no, no oh my god... you're a wonderful mother, the best he could ever ask for."

But she shook her head, signing, "I can't take him to the park alone. I can't go drive him to a friends house. I can't-"

"Lace..." Santi cupped her face, guiding her to look at him, his own eyes wet with tears. "Plenty of parents can't do that sort of thing, but that's okay. You don't have to do it alone. I'm gonna be here. We'll go to the park together, I'll drive you both around. You've shown me you can handle those high stress moments when it comes to the safety of those you love... You'll do it for him if you need to. But, Miss Lacina, listen to my words. You will be there for Leto in all the most important ways. You'll support him in all his activities, give him everything he needs to thrive even with hearing loss. You'll be the most loving mother the world has ever seen, and Lace? Leto adores you. He adored you now, and he always will. We're both lucky to have you."

Her body language relaxes, and Santi sees a little smile on her pretty face. He kisses her nose.

*****************

I love them they are like my children ;-;

Tagging a few people who still show interest in lal stuff <3

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @missdictatorme @itspdameronthings @poeedameronn @pimosworld @miraclesabound

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting our office to smell bad?

For the record I don't think my office mate is an asshole and completely understand if I'm the asshole here, and am open to suggestions on how NOT to be an asshole about this. We (30s, f) have a small office that we share together. We are in a position where people throughout the facility need to poke their heads in and have small meetings, gather things, verify things, etc. We work nine hour shifts with a one hour lunch in the middle. Our office is beside a rec room, which can get noisy due to the frequent activity, and can be distracting so we sometimes have to shut the door to our office. Also our office does not have windows. We each work five days a week. I work Tuesday - Saturday, she works Monday - Friday. My office mate was very straight forward with me that she has a very sensitive nose. She is self diagnosed either autistic or ADHD or both, she isn't sure, but due to these factors she cannot handle perfumes, colognes, air fresheners, or deodorants. I'm sure you can see where this is heading.

I know that she bathes/showers regularly because she never smells at the beginning of our shift (we work 8 - 5) but by lunch, her BO is kicking in, and by early afternoon it is pungent. I know she is sensitive about it because she's told me several times that her family sweats a lot. I, too, sweat throughout the day, and I know I am not helping matters any. I've tried using all natural deodorants, but each time I have she's politely reminded me her nose cannot handle deodorants. I've even tried unscented anti perspiration sticks and she still reminds me that I can't be wearing it due to her sensitive nose. Same thing with this unscented malodor remover spray I bought that I used once on a Saturday, and on Tuesday she reminded me not to use any sprays on the weekend because it literally causes physical pain for her nose. She has even asked custodial services not to use their cleaning agents because the smells upset her. (I can verify she cleans the office herself, though.) We often have to close our door during crunch time otherwise we get distracted by the rec room by wanting to join or chitchat with people in there, but the BO is just as distracting. If we open the door sometimes other people will make gentle, but pointed, jokes about BO.

Several people have pulled me aside and asked if there is anything I can do. They all know the situation because she's let everyone in the building know that they cannot wear deoderants or perfumes/colognes, although because they don't share her office they continue to do so and HR has told her they can't really do anything about them wearing it since they don't work in her office. On Saturdays I admit I do wear perfume and deodorant and leave the door open to air it out, although I can't use anything on the room (sprays, cleaners) due to it hurting her nose.

Recently she called in on a Monday and I covered her shift, and even still, on Monday, first thing I walk in the door, I can smell the remnants of BO. During lunch I was in the rec room but left my office door open and someone asked if I was airing [Name's] BO out and I felt absolutely terrible but I said that I was. He suggested I talk to HR, then added that I wouldn't be the only person who has, but since I am her office mate, HR might listen to me. I honestly don't know if that's the right thing because I know she takes care of her personal hygiene otherwise, it genuinely is just her BO, but I also know her autism or ADHD or both causes scents to physically hurt her nose.

I sprayed that unscented spray again, but Tuesday she politely reminded me that it hurts her nose. I suggested flowers, since they're all natural, and she said it isn't chemicals, but scent in general, and that BO is a natural occurrence that companies invented an unneeded cure for. I did tell her that something needs to be done, though, and she just reminded me that it physically hurts her nose again. She hasn't spoken to me since. Please help.

What are these acronyms?

[honeysuckleharringtons]

Part Five: "Seasonal Specials" ~ S. Harrington

Summary: (Then) Christmas Eve has rolled around, and unfortunately for a very pregnant Reader, she is stuck at home with a migraine. Luckily for her, her younger brother doesn't make for too bad of company. — (Now) A slow shift at Brew and Me turns out to be a good night for advice and a call from everyone's favorite nursing student.

Pairing: Nurse!Steve Harrington x Fem!Byers!Reader

Word Count: 1,900

Content Warning: teen pregnancy, discussions of homophobia, discussions of abuse and allusions to physical abuse, discussions of slut-shaming, Reader is lowkey bad at advice when it comes to these topics LMAO, explicit language, food consumption (Reader drinks hot chocolate), not really a warning but Will is gay and autistic in this series, as always lmk if i missed anything!

Extra Notes: this should've been posted way earlier, i am so sorry it wasn't. hope you guys enjoy though!

Originally Written: 12/21/2023 through 12/25/2023

honeysuckleharringtons' main masterlist can be found here!

'brew and me' series masterlist can be found here!

[ Then, December of 1987 ]

Christmas Eve. It was Christmas Eve and you were stuck at home with an excruciating headache.

You supposed it wasn't all bad. After all, staying at home was preferable over the rare occasion that you did leave the house, when everyone would stare you down like some caged animal at the zoo. Unfortunately, the same could be said for your family—no, not your immediate family, who'd helped you more than ever since you'd entered your third and final trimester—whose reactions had ranged from disgusted to sympathetic.

When you'd gone to the family's end-of-summer family reunion, you'd tried your best to hide the tiny bump you were sporting at the time. However, your aunt Judy had taken notice of your particularly round belly, and immediately figured out that it wasn't from one too many hot dogs at the cookout. Ever since then, you'd heard every comment in the book, everything from "whore throwing her life away" to "so sad she thought that was her only option."

So, instead of listening to the endless insults from your distant relatives, you'd prayed for some way out of the gathering. Unfortunately for you, God had a sense of humor, hence the excruciating headache.

The sound of the microwave beeping in the next room over set you off all over again, the noise like a hammer to the head. "Will, can't you tell that thing to shut up?" you groaned, covering your face with the compress he'd made you.

"Unfortunately, I don't think that's going to help," he joked. You couldn't tell if you wanted to laugh or kill him for his sense of humor. "Here's your hot chocolate."

You sat up ever-so-slightly, taking a small drink of the deep brown liquid. Almost instantly, the warmth of it made you feel a little better. "Thank you." You reached a hand over, ruffling his already messy hair. "By the way, you didn't have to stay home with me."

"And listen to Uncle Howie tell me how we're both going to hell? I'd rather have that headache of yours."

A snicker escaped your lips, knowing exactly what he meant. "Okay, maybe Uncle Howie is a bit too opinionated on the sex lives of sixteen and eighteen year olds, but you don't have to listen to him. I mean, you're missing out on Grandma's fruitcake, which is your favorite part of the holidays."

"After last year, listening to half our cousins tell me I'm fruitier than the cake, I don't think I'll ever eat it again." Will pulled his knees up to his chest, his face overtaken by an expression that looked a lot like longing. "Besides, it's not really worth it to me."

You set your mug aside before placing a hand on his knee. "What do you mean?"

"The way the family talks about you… I thought I was the black sheep of the family. You might as well be a purple sheep."

Your pregnancy hormones must've taken over, because instead of a normal reaction, you found yourself beginning to cry from his words. No, not because of pain from his statement, but rather comfort in knowing that he'd rather miss out on the finer things of life if it meant sticking up for you.

Will, and his lack of social cue skills, stared at you for a moment, unsure what to say. Eventually, he landed on, "Sorry if I made you more upset. I didn't-"

A small huff of amusement left your mouth as you shook your head. "No, Will," you smiled, reaching up to wipe away your excess tears, "I'm just… I'm really happy to have you."

He flashed you a closed-lip smile, one that felt so genuine and unapologetically Will. "I know you'd do the same for me."

[ Now, December of 1991 ]

"I would, kiddo. I really would."

Aster Bay was a different kind of beautiful at the holidays. Sure, the small college town was normally beautiful, but upon seeing the small-town glow overtake the place, you were sure you hadn't seen anything like it.

Apartments and beach-side condos decked out in Christmas lights, a tree as high as the clouds in the town square, students dressed in Christmas and Hanukkah sweaters, their dogs in matching attire. The town felt like your own personal snow globe, tiny flakes flooding the ground beneath your feet with every step.

The magic of the holidays of course carried over into your favorite little coffee shop, decorations of red and green covering the walls and counters while the smell of peppermint wafted through the air. Unfortunately for you and Max, the one thing your little coffee shop was lacking this Christmas Eve was customers.

Neither of you were really sure why the store was open. Nearly everyone had gone home for the holidays—students, patrons, and other baristas alike—and the store was dead quiet, aside from the soft sound of Sinead O'Conner playing on the overhead speaker. Silent Night is accurate, you thought to yourself.

"So, where's your lover boy at this Christmas Eve?" Max joked, breaking the long-winded silence.

You sighed, secretly longing for the nurse she spoke of. "Apparently they gave him a week off from the hospital so he went home to see his folks." A small wave of loneliness had come over you when Steve had told you about his departure a few days prior, when he stopped by to grab a latte for the road.

"That's nice. At least he's hopefully having a good time, not working on the holidays like some of us," she said lightheartedly. Though, you could've sworn you heard a hint of sadness in her tone.

"Hey, how come you aren't at home with your folks?" The question had been a simple one, but when Max looked up at you, you could tell her answer was about to be anything but simple.

Her arms folded tightly in front of her chest as she looked at you, a sigh falling between her plump lips. "It's… complicated."

You placed a loving hand on her shoulder. "I know we're only coworkers and we aren't really supposed to bring our personal lives to work with us, but you know you can talk to me, right? I'm your friend, plus I'm a mother so I have problem solving skills now."

She huffed in amusement at your last remark. "It's just… I can't really say a lot but my life in California, it's not as good as my life here. And as much as I love my mom, there's just… well, it's just better for me to stay here even as much as I miss her. Besides, it's not like I make enough to fly home and Neil certainly isn't going to pay for my flight."

You could tell from the clear distaste in the way she said Neil that she didn't like to say his name anymore than she had to. Unfortunately, you knew all too well what that was like, and there was a certain name that left a bad taste in your own mouth the same way Neil did for Max.

"I can't give you much advice because my dad was the one that left, but I promise, it does get better," you empathized. "You made the right decision by staying here. I'm proud of you, Max."

She began to fiddle with the sleeve of her flannel, her eyes darting away. "I hate being here though. I can't help my mom from here. There's no telling what he does to her when me and Billy are away."

You knew exactly what she meant by that too. "I know it doesn't seem like it, but that'll change too. Eventually he'll get tired of you and your mom fighting back and he'll leave. That's what my dad did anyway."

"The thing is," she paused, licking her lips, "I'm not sure my mom wants to fight back. It's like she wants to deal with Neil's bullshit. I mean, she divorced my dad over not making enough money and then she married Neil, who is still scraping at the bottom of the barrel to keep the lights on every month. Not to mention, she dated like ten guys in between and broke up with them for way less, but she'll always find a way to justify his actions."

You shrugged your shoulders. "My mom put up with it for seventeen years before she started to truly fight back." A small wave of silence came over the room before you continued, "I'm sorry I don't have much advice. I guess my situation was just a little different than most survivors'. One thing I can tell you though is that I'm proud of you for making the best decision for yourself. I know it's hard to put yourself first sometimes."

Max gave you a crooked smile, finally looking up at you again. "As much as it sucks that we've both been through a bad thing, I'm glad I have you to talk to about it."

"Of course, love. You're like a little sister to me."

Cutting your conversation short, the phone began to ring, the sound grating on your nerves. You loved your job, but it was Christmas Eve, damn it. In all honesty, you really just wanted to be at home, drinking hot chocolate with your girl in your lap and a movie playing on television.

Still, you picked up the phone, answering with the signature, "Happy holidays from Brew and Me. What can we do for you?"

"Can you tell me your seasonal specials?" said a familiar voice, his smirk audible in his tone.

"Steve! You're supposed to be on vacation," you scolded, though internally you were extremely happy to hear his voice. What is wrong with me? you pondered silently.

"I am, but I couldn't resist calling and ordering something."

Your brows furrowed at his statement. "How does that work?"

"Order anything you'd like and I'll pay you back when I get back to town. Think of it as a Christmas present, or whatever you celebrate."

"That feels like cheating, Harrington." Your eyes narrowed, despite his inability to see it.

"You don't have to tell me what it is, just how much I'll owe you," he replied. You could hear a fireplace crackling quietly in the background, and you could easily imagine him curled up in front of it, his skin covered with a thick Christmas sweater, glasses perched on his nose as he read a novel. "Same for Max or whoever else is working. Treat yourselves, courtesy of me."

"Well, thank you, Steve. We appreciate it," your lips curved upward into a smile as you spoke. "I hope you're enjoying your time off."

"I am. I'm sorry you have to work on Christmas Eve." You could almost hear the frown on his lips as he sympathized with you.

"It's not all bad. After all, I'm getting to hear from you."

"Careful, Byers, or I'll start to think you like me back," he smirked. Butterflies went off in your belly, your cheeks warm and surely rosy.

You were sure full sentences had escaped you, considering Steve had the ability to take your breath away and make you blush like no one else could. So, you stuck with what you knew you could say without stumbling over your words. "Happy holidays, Doc."

"It's a very happy holiday when I get to talk to you, Y/N."

So tumblr hates me...

I went over 24 hours thinking this chapter posted, only to find out tumblr ate it somewhere between my drafts, my queue, and my posts 🤦🏻‍♀️ this app loves to embarrass me

Anyway, I hope this was worth the extra long wait. It sucks that I'm posting it after the initial Christmas magic is over but I hope you guys liked it regardless! I will see you back here on Sunday for chapter six, which will be posted on time, fingers crossed!

-> taglist: @dungeons-are-too-cold @ducky-died-inside @awkotaco24 @liberhoe @princesseddie @corrodedseraphine @manuosorioh @esoltis280 @hazydespair @frostandflamesfanfic

[shouldhavestayedawayfromhere]

Sometimes when I read through my own posts before posting them, they sound almost ai-generated. In my head, I have a number of layouts for sentences and how they connect and I just fill those with words. I guess my autism works similar to an AI sometimes.

This is me telling you guys that nothing I have ever posted or will ever post is AI generated or inspired. I pinky promise I don't use Chatgpt for my posts. I'm just a little autistic and I love writing really long and elaborate posts about how to do things and make stuff :')

My blog is 100% created with human intelligence and I'll never change that. I despise the use of AI in any kind of creative activity, be it art, writing, or spirituality. If you have to go to an AI to make posts online about religion and witchcraft, I'll block you.

I can tell when someone is using AI in their posts because I've played around with AI a lot. It's fun, that I do admit. But it just disgusts me to see people pretending to give others advice from experience that they themselves gathered over life and when I start reading I realize that it's all fabricated.

Don't do this! What is it even for? Why pretend to have a super grand and elaborate practice and come from a lineage of witches when you could just talk about what it's like to be new to everything and use real resources to learn and build your practice?

There's nothing wrong with being a newbie. But I'll never tolerate the use of AI in my craft. If you've done it, just stop now. It's a good time to think over that. It's okay to change your mind at any time. I've made mistakes concerning AI too before. We're all allowed to learn. It's not the ultimate catfish you think it is.

A lot of people can tell when something is made by AI, and if you're someone who uses it, I can tell you, you just look pathetic. It's sad how you can't come up with stuff yourself. Go stare at the wall and hallucinate for a while, maybe that will do the trick.

[nozunhinged]

After a year of essentially getting payed for kicking people in the butt to do their job (or as professionals like to call it: "project manager") which is basically a culmination of everything my autistic self is NOT capable of, I gathered a few learnings about a desk job environment that may also be helpful to someone else. Because I would've been grateful if I had this advice when I started working and not 10 years and 20 jobs later.

(also no NT bashing intended here, these are just my observations okay)

1. Neurotypicals tend to forget stuff...a lot

That doesn't just go for their tasks (ehem) but also anything else from small talks to compliments and even fights or heated arguments. They deal with the situation and move on (I'm so jealous of that ngl) while probably every neurodivergent spends a lot of time processing which can be extremely exhausting. So I learned that when I'm at work I try to go "neurotypical mode", which means dealing with the task at hand and immediately move on without giving it a second thought. Of course I mess up shit in the process, but funnily enough if you just correct it with a sorry, that mistake is ALSO immediately forgotten! It's hard in the beginning but gets easier with time.

2. Imagine you are a tiny ant in a huge colony

What tremendously helped me dealing with social interactions is to shift the focus away from my overwhelming anxiety but on what this interaction is to the other person. And to them, I'm just one ant of many ants this person talks to today. To me it may have been the one single talk for the whole day, but I try to pretend that I also did this 100 times already like they did probably. And now that we know that people forget a lot and don't have elephant brains like us, it's a lot easier for me to accept slip-ups in my script or saying dumb things (or very often, just saying nothing because my brain had a blackout). I always imagine they think "well that was funny" and then they forget. And if they forget, I can too.

3. I hate to admit it but...even with the hardest things, practice makes perfect

Hear me out. I'm the first person to choose the mail or contact form if I have the choice. But at work, I mostly don't. And the first few months I caused a lot of trouble because I struggled very hard to call people. But now that I need to call people at least 10 times a day, even the necessary private phone calls got way easier. Theres no shame in having a hundred scripts for different scenarios. I still always practice every word I say before I call, but it's much much quicker and less stressful now. And I also always use the same 5 phrases like a call center and that's also fine. No one will notice, I promise.

4. Set your boundaries...no one will ask you why

That's probably the hardest one and I needed a lot (and I mean A LOT) of therapy to get to this point but: you don't have to explain yourself. Never ever, in any situation. The more you explain, the more questions will be asked. There's a huge difference between "no I can't do this" to "I don't think I can maybe I can find a way but there is reason xyz why it's impossible" — every explanation gives your coworkers and higher ups an in. When you say a simple "no" in a neutral tone, in 90% of cases the answer will be "noted". Same goes for emails. Never explain, just keep the information brief. No explanations. Polite formalities if necessary but thats it.

For days off I repeat: Never explain why you need it. You say "I need a day off". If they ask why, say you just need it. And even if they try to rope you into a discussion, stand your ground and by any means don't get tricked into giving an explanation. And if they deny you your day off and try to threaten with losing your job or whatever shit, take that one L and don't take the day but immediately try to get out of that hellhole and apply for other jobs in secret.

But let me tell you, they won't fire you over shit like this, they need you as much as you need them. And we often tend to forget that (as in, they use that tactic to keep us in place). My old employer literally went bankrupt because they laid off too many people. It will fuck them up in the long run. You always, always have something to contribute. They just don't want you to know.

That shit is so hard, the first few times I literally had to hide in the bathroom and cry to deal with the aftermath. I still fall back into explain-mode sometimes. But if you stand your ground most of the time, they will think "well they must have thought long and hard about it and have a good reason". It's so weird, I know.

5. Your 80% is neurotypicals 150%

We often have to deal with comments like "but how will you be able to put up with this workload" "you know you have to work as hard as the others right" "you're not as resilient" Blabla. Reality is, the average employee doesn't work nearly as hard as you do. They just sell it better. Go drink that coffee with your desk neighbour. Have that Smalltalk by the vending machine. Visit Josh from accounting and ask dumb questions. It's fucking exhausting but it will make them feel like you are trying hard. I know it sounds counterintuitive but it really works. Because when you try hard the neurodivergent way — aka work your ass off to prove that you fit in until you burn out— you will just get more work that you can't get done because you are yknow, burned out. But then the expectations have already been set. It's a vicious cycle.

So start slow. Introduce yourself to literally anyone (cringe I know) and if you think you're going too slow, go even slower. Ask a million questions even if you know the answer. And if you don't know, still ask. Ask every little dumb thing. I promise, it's okay. You're still working harder than anyone else, just different. But they don't need to know that. If you're done with a task in an hour that you should need 4 hours for, chill for the remaining three hours. You need it, because that one hour cost you a lot of energy! But watch out if an employee walks past, open that spreadsheet back up. And if you needed 8 hours for a 4 hour task, great! Another office day in the books, time to go home!

6. Speaking of different

I know all of these tips are basically sending all of us to masking hell but the sad reality is that this world is still made by and for neurotypical people and it's essential for our survival to manage all these invisible rules we don't understand. But I am convinced that masking can be a powerful tool if we use it to our advantage. I used all my observation skills to come up with these social play cards (my therapist suggested I literally make cards and we wrote them together, I loved them so much for encouraging that) when I started working in my company and now I have a kind of "standing" (don't ask me it's weird and I don't get it) that allows me to ask for more and more accommodations which I desperately need. I have exact time slots for availability which are getting respected, I successfully set a limit on meetings per week and I even get to turn off slack without anyone questioning if I'm working. Which in turn makes me more capable in doing my job and everyone is happy. Basically the opposite of a vicious cycle. Because turns out I'm actually good at annoying the shit out of people to deliver their work, who would've thunk. They're like "oh I better do my shit before noz comes for my ass" and it's glorious.

7. Being disliked is actually an advantage

I know, I know. Avoiding conflict is the neurodivergents bread and butter. Being liked by everyone is too, because we already feel so ostracized we try anything in our power to make up for it. But you know, if people don't like you at work, they will do their best to avoid you. If your direct colleagues don't like you, they will also do their best to keep your joint tasks at minimum level and as efficient as possible. Don't get me wrong — They will gossip, they will turn against you, they will try to make your work life harder than it already is. That needs to be endured, unfortunately. But keep doing you. You will be fine, I promise. If they hate you, you are doing something right. Being the villain is kinda fun, actually.

8. Your colleagues are not your friends

I fell for that trap so many times and still do. The second you get into a friendly relationship with any coworker, the power dynamics will shift. You will get more lenient with helping out, going out of your way with things and that will spread like a wildfire. Because when push comes to shove, they will drop you like a hot potato. Always, always keep everyone at a healthy distance. No matter how nice and lovely they are. Same goes for — no especially for — higher ups. They are most definitely not your friends. And the company is not a family. If you don't get payed for it, don't do it.

And last but not least....

You are worthy. You are capable. You are a smart, wonderful and shining individual and don't let a dumb desk job environment convince you otherwise. They are all just bullshit jobs and everyone tries to sell it as something super important. It's not. It's just a way to make ends meet. We all have something to contribute, no matter how small or niche and this corporate bullshit is not the standard you need to abide to. Keep doing you. You are doing great, I promise.

[drdemonprince]

Probably a trivial question during a shitty time globally, but I'm going a bit crazy trying to figure this out and need help.

For some reason, people cancel last-minute alarmingly frequently when I host gatherings on days that are extremely important to me. I am talking mainly about my birthday and that of my partner but also a huge milestone graduation do last year was a nightmare as well. Neither I nor my partner have any meaningful relationships with our families anymore due to political differences and rely on our friends for the sense of home and belonging most people get from families.

Except this is a bit of a wasteland, as I struggle to form and maintain close friendships because of how unreliable and disappointing people have been for a while. This is not an individual (although there are a couple of people who I know will cancel every time) but a pattern. Someone will forget to book the right train ticket, another will only lurk on the event group chat and then comment for the first time before the event to say no. One person memorably just said they wanted to keep the option of a weekend gateway open so they could only come to my graduation party if they decided not to do that. Am I missing something here? Is this normal? I need consistency and dependability to feel safe and I feel like people I'd normally choose as friends (witty, nerdy interests, progressive) turn out to be incredibly bad at showing up for me when I need them. A friend I thought was close went completely mum after I graduated and didn't congratulate me at all - after having discussed the degree and its struggles with me for 2 years. Part of me feels like I need to rebuild my circle from scratch and maybe find people I can talk to honestly about my needs from the beginning of the friendship. But it feels so late and desolate to start this process in my mid-thirties. Everyone else has friends they grew up with and who know everything about their lives. Meanwhile, I am at the stage where I have no close friends at all anymore because my needs seem too absurd to even discuss with anyone except my partner, and if I do, I just lose friendships. I remember reading your piece on how to do social things as an autistic person last year and feeling very inspired so I thought I'd reach out to you.

This is all exceedingly, exceedingly normal, especially in the days post COVID for a variety of reasons. When I make plans with people, I assume that roughly 30-75% of the people invited are not going to show up, and I've completely made my peace with that. A friend of mine hosted a movie night a few weeks back, invited I believe around 15 people, and ultimately four showed up, many people being last-minute cancellations or total no shows.

This happens for a variety of reasons. Many people are very socially anxious and decide at the last minute they don't have it in them to show up because they're freaking out. Other people say yes when the event is days or weeks down the line, wanting in the abstract to be there, but then on the actual day of the event, practical daily life constraints are far more visible than they were when the event was just an idea, and so then they have to bail. Other people feel really bad saying no, and so they wait for the last minute to share that they can't make it. And lots of people are so bombarded with notifications on a variety of social media sites and chatting platforms that they just forget all that they've committed to. And then you add into that random illness, flat tires, crying kids, and the like, and you have a lot of reasons why people don't show up to things.

Personally, I have come to accept this. If I go into event planning assuming most people can't make it, my feelings aren't hurt. Every person who does show up is a gift. My invites are an opportunity, a true invitation, not an obligation or an expectation. I don't hurt my feelings in advance by telling myself that I need a high turnout for my birthday or that because I've worked hard making a certain dish for a party (I never actually do that admittedly lol) that a lot of people need to come and eat it.

And I invite people that I like and want to see, over and over again, because I care about them, and I want to show them that I care about them and that I understand they have other things going on and I am not offended that life got in the way for them. I want them to feel loved and included, even if they can't make it. Even the gesture of inviting a person to an event and them showing some interest is a meaningful act of maintaining social connections, for me. And so if they can't make it on the day of, that's fine by me.

I'm 35. My friends are anywhere from 21 to 60-something. People cancel events because of sick kids, broken down cars, long work weeks, depression, double-bookings, writing deadlines, social anxiety, busted ankles, not wanting to see one person they're currently having a difficult situation with, and any number of other factors. If you love people long enough, they get really complicated and their lives get really hard. I find that the most beautiful and friendship-sustaining thing one can do is to not take it personally, because you're going to need that same grace yourself plenty of times. People will drop of the map for months or years sometimes because they're going through hell, and you dont to deprive yourself of being open to reconnection when they're available again.

There's really no need to read anything into the randomness of life. This stuff will happen, so it's rational to expect it, and loving to not mind it too much.

Do you need to make some new friends? Maybe so! I have multiple different friend groups and I think that's healthy. You may find the no-shows less painful if you have more people to lean on. It's always good to form new connections, learn new things about yourself, expand your skills and understanding of the world through new information and experiences. But should you start over, and ditch your friends who are flakey? I don't think so. To be loved is to be sometimes flaked upon (and to flake). In this capitalistic, individualistic hellscape it's vitally important that we extend one another grace.

[spencerfuckngreid]

· T H E A R T O F G E T T I N G T O K N O W | S P E N C E R R E I D · PT 3

· Pairing: Spencer Reid/OC · Category: Fluff, Angst · Warning: None · Words: 2767 · Parts: Pt 1 · Pt 2 · Pt 4 · Summary : Eli, a psychology expert and old friend of Luke's, joins the UAC as a consultant and quickly bonds with Spencer Reid. As they delve into a complex case, Eli and Spencer find themselves drawn to each other on a deeper level. · Note about Eli: Her neurodivergence (She is autistic) is implied but it's never really said.

· Spanish on Wattpad. English isn't my first language, be kind!

· Masterlist

· P O V E L I ·

The sun was just beginning to rise when Eli arrived at the office, one of the first to do so. I had been working with the team for weeks, and although I had managed to integrate well, there was something that kept lingering in my mind: Spencer Reid. The connection I felt with him was undeniable, but I couldn't help but wonder if it was all just a product of my imagination. From his small gestures, like bringing me coffee or staying late to help me, to the conversations that were becoming more intimate and frequent, there was a palpable tension between us that I had no idea how to handle.

As I turned on my computer, I tried to push those thoughts aside. I had to focus on the case, be professional, as Luke had recommended; I couldn't let him down. But no matter how hard I tried, Spencer's image kept creeping back into my mind, accompanied by that warm feeling in my chest that, honestly, was a real pain…

—“Damn it, I can’t live with this pressure in my chest… maybe it's just anxiety, that would be great news. You're such an idiot, Eli, trivializing serious problems because you can't face things… Good for you.”

· P O V S P E N C E R ·

From the first day I saw Eli, I knew there was something special about her. It wasn't just her intelligence and her ability to analyze cases, although that already impressed me, there was something deeper, a connection that I hadn't felt with anyone in a long time. I knew I had to maintain professionalism; I had been in complicated situations before and understood perfectly that mixing personal feelings with work was never a good idea. However, I couldn't help it. Every time Eli came near, I felt my pulse quicken slightly, and my mind, always so analytical, filled with questions and doubts that I didn't know how to answer. “Okay, just don't obsess so much… look away, ignore that she's beautiful, her smile, that she's smart… and argh, stop thinking already.”

· P O V E L I ·

That morning, the team gathered in the conference room to discuss the progress of the case. Spencer sat next to me, as we had been doing lately, though neither of us mentioned it, but at least I was glad it happened. While Rossi presented the latest leads, I leaned forward to take notes, and in that movement, my hand brushed against Spencer's.

It was a brief, almost insignificant contact, but the reaction was immediate. I felt a sort of electric shock run down my arm to the base of my neck, making me sit up straight. I glanced at Spencer out of the corner of my eye, finding him looking at me too, but I couldn’t decipher his gaze. I didn’t have time, I quickly looked away, trying to focus on the meeting, but the sensation of the touch lingered on my skin. "I think I'm not breathing... okay, yes, it's been four minutes, I think I would have passed out, four minutes feels like an eternity... maybe I really did pass out and I don't know it... Oh my God, help, what was that? Was I the only one who felt it??"

After the meeting, I tried to focus on work, but my stupid mind kept going back to that moment. I tried to convince myself that I was exaggerating, that it was nothing more than a coincidence, but my heart was telling me otherwise. How was it telling me, you ask? I think it was about to leap out of my mouth, and I’m completely sure that anyone talking to me from a reasonable distance could hear my heartbeat. "Eli, back off, danger zone, we’ve been hurt before, finish the case, leave, and goodbye..."

· P O V S P E N C E R ·

I was looking at some photos in a folder when I suddenly felt a fleeting brush on my hand. I think I sighed; I hadn't felt anything like it before. My mind went blank, as if a sudden rush of dopamine hit my brain, unexpected, pleasant, and as quickly as it came, it was gone. I had touched many people's hands before, but I had never experienced a reaction like that. It was certainly an accident; when our eyes met, she looked away. Not like she’d purposely touch my hand in the middle of a meeting, of course, but it made it clear that there was nothing. "You already know, focus, it was an accident, stop imagining things, she’s not interested in you."

Later that day, while we were reviewing some reports in the common room, I noticed the atmosphere had turned strange, heavy. Eli was next to me, focused on the screen, but everything felt weird; it was obvious.

Suddenly, she broke the silence.

—"Want a coffee?" —her tone was casual enough to sound spontaneous, but it came off as forced.

I looked at her, and for a moment, our eyes met, as if we were both waiting for a sign from the other, something to indicate we weren’t alone in what we were feeling. But, as always, neither of us dared to take the first step.

—"Yeah, sure," —I replied, with a smile that came out weaker than I had hoped. "Very brave of you, Reid..."

Eli nodded, stood up, and walked to the small office kitchen. I stayed there, trying to concentrate on the report, but my mind was still tangled up in what had just happened. Or rather, what hadn’t just happened. It was as if we were both circling something but not daring to look at it directly.

When she came back with the coffee, she extended her hand to give me the cup, and that’s when our fingers brushed lightly, and that simple contact was enough to send a tingling sensation through my skin. Eli smiled, but I’m sure she tensed up. Something had changed between us, though neither seemed willing to face it. I could swear she almost dropped the cup.

—"Thanks," —I murmured, trying to fill the awkward space that had formed.

At that moment, I was so sure that she felt it too… that kind of latent electricity. We remained silent, both too aware of what was lingering in the air. Eli finally decided to say something, her voice a little shaky.

—"Spencer..." —her tone made me set the cup aside —"No, uh… I… hm."

I don’t know why she suddenly went quiet, but I froze because I knew there was something she wasn’t telling me, and it was driving me crazy. I looked at her, trying to figure out if it meant the same thing I was feeling.

We stayed in silence, with words hanging in the air. I could feel the distance between us getting smaller, even though we weren’t moving. The looks we exchanged were different now, more intense, like we were trying to decipher a hidden code in each other’s faces.

Eli didn’t look away, and I couldn’t either. There was something in her gaze, a mix of uncertainty and curiosity that kept me captivated. I felt my breathing change, and for a moment, everything else ceased to exist. It was just her, me, and that electricity that seemed to fill the space between us.

Time seemed to stop. There was no need for words, because what we were feeling went beyond what we could express with simple phrases. The brush of our fingers earlier had left a mark, and now that sensation was growing, enveloping us in a bubble that was about to burst.

I could see Eli swallow, and her breathing had also become heavier, almost imperceptible. It was as if we both knew we were on the edge of something, something neither of us had planned, but that somehow was there, undeniable.

I wondered what would happen if I leaned in a little, if that distance between us disappeared completely. What would she do? What would I do? My mind analyzed all the possibilities, but none had a clear answer. There was only more uncertainty, more tension.

And then, in one movement, Eli took a step back, as if the pressure of the situation became too much to handle. Her eyes shifted away from mine, and the bubble we were in burst, bringing us back to reality.

—"I think… we should get back to the reports," —she murmured, her voice barely a whisper.

I nodded, though I wasn’t sure what had just happened. All I knew was that the tension had broken, leaving us both with an awkward emptiness. Eli turned around, and as she walked back to her desk, I couldn’t help but feel a mix of relief and disappointment. We had brushed against something neither of us was ready to face.

· P O V E L I ·

As the days passed, the tension between us only grew stronger. I think we were trying to keep things professional, but every little gesture, every glance, seemed loaded with a heavy weight. I felt like I couldn’t verbalize what was happening, and I don’t even remember experiencing something like this as a teenager. We kept getting the work done, and I think we were still efficient and collaborative despite everything, but there was a subtle change in the dynamic. It was starting to become noticeable how weird everything was, to the point where our conversations felt forced and awkward.

One day, while we were working on a report, I leaned in to show him something on the screen. Our shoulders brushed, accidentally, I swear it was… And even though it was the smallest contact, I straightened up so quickly that Spencer opted to make a comment that definitely didn’t draw attention to what had just happened. Note the sarcasm.

—"Is it a little warm in here, or is it just me?" —he cleared his throat with an awkward smile, trying to lighten the atmosphere. It was clear he just wanted to fill the uncomfortable silence that was looming.

—"No, yeah, a little…" —My eloquence was increasing by the day.

Over the next few days, these small touches, looks, and gestures became more frequent. Spencer was becoming increasingly clumsy; he didn’t know how to act around me, and in my case… My neurons had progressively decided to abandon ship, leaving me adrift with my stupid and chaotic emotions.

The breaking point came a couple of days later, during a casual conversation. Let’s remember that I had fewer and fewer neurons by the day, and my logic and rationality were starting to shine by their absence. Seriously, I didn’t know what was going on with me. We were in the common room, sharing a coffee after a long day, when Spencer casually mentioned that he had seen an old friend the day before.

—"We ran into each other by chance, it was nice to catch up. I hadn’t seen her in years," —Spencer said, sounding quite cheerful. "Excuse me, what? What’s this about a friend? Calm down, Eli, relax, use the rational part of your brain before you lose it."

I felt like something had pierced my chest when I heard him talk about another woman. I tried to react normally, but the truth is my face tends to easily show how I feel—unless I want to control it, of course, double standards and all that.

—"A friend from college?" —I tried to sound casual, but something happened… my tone completely changed.

—"Yeah," —Spencer replied—. "We were really close back then. It’s funny how time changes things."

My mind started filling with doubts and insecurities. How close had this friend been? Why had Spencer never mentioned her before? I realized I was being irrational, but I couldn’t help it. It’s not like we had known each other for that long… and I had no right to demand anything from him. "Don’t be silly, it’s just a comment, it’s not like you two have anything going on… stop this."

—"It must be nice to reconnect with old friends," —I tried to sound as casual as I could, but it was eating me up inside.

I wasn’t sure if he was ignoring my change in attitude, pretending not to notice, or if he just didn’t realize…

—"Yeah, it was. We talked a bit about what we’ve been up to these past years, and we had a coffee. It was pretty nice."

I forced a smile, but my expression was serious. It was clear that I wasn’t comfortable at all. The worst part was what it implied emotionally. "This has gone too far, damn it, how can you be upset about something like this?! Am I imagining things that don’t exist? My God… I have to stop all of this somehow…"

Spencer noticed that Eli had become a bit more distant, but he didn’t understand why. He wanted to ask but didn’t, as he wasn’t handling things well with her and didn’t want to create an awkward situation by bringing up something she might not want to share. However, the distance that began forming between them at that moment only increased the tension.

The following days were EVEN MORE uncomfortable. Eli tried to stay focused on her work, but every time she thought about Spencer and his friend, she felt a pang of jealousy she couldn’t control. Spencer, on the other hand, noticed the change in Eli and didn’t know how to address it. They had gone from being almost always together to an unbearable silence that neither of them knew how to break.

One night, after everyone else had left, I stayed alone in the office, going over some reports. I was exhausted from all the tension around this situation, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Spencer and what I was feeling. "No matter how much I’ve tried to keep the situation professional, I haven’t been able to, and now I look like a stupid, jealous teenager with butterflies in my stomach… oh no…" — When I realized what was happening, I tried to disappear by covering my head with my arms, a very ineffective method, by the way.

I started to wonder if Spencer was going through the same thing, if he also felt confused and attracted to me. But then I remembered the conversation about his stupid and fcking friend, and doubt hit me again. *"Okay, it’s unfair, that poor girl hasn’t done anything, but I have to blame someone at this moment in my life. It’s 11 p.m., I’m alone in the office, and I haven’t had dinner; it’s going to be her, even if it’s not very feminist of me. What if Spencer only sees me as a colleague? What if I’ve been misinterpreting everything? Ugh…"

· P O V S P E N C E R ·

I went home early today, honestly, the situation with Eli is starting to be too much for me. No matter how hard I've tried to figure out what’s going on, I just can’t see it. We were fine, everything was going well, and suddenly… "Should we talk? I don’t even know how to start something like this… I thought there was something, but it’s obvious I was imagining it."

I was lying on the couch with a book that I wasn’t really paying attention to. Before I knew it, the book was resting on my chest, and I had my phone in my hands, typing out a message. "Hey, how are you?" —I hesitated because the truth is, I had no idea what to write. I wanted to say so many things, but none of them felt right to say over text, though I doubted I could say them in person either. I deleted the message.

—I started typing again —"Hey, how are you? I was thinking about you." —I hit send without thinking. And then, suddenly, I regretted it. What had I done? How did I write that? "I want to die right now, h-how do you delete this?? Can you unsend it?"

Immediately, a notification sounded, and I opened it nervously, nearly dropping the phone. My eyes widened, and the regret vanished.

"I was thinking about you too, what a coincidence."

· Requests via DM ·

[raskolnikov466]

>thinks biological sex isn't real nor relevant

>autistic

What a shock. Maybe acknowledge both your own anatomy and the fact that you have a literal developmental disability and you should opt out of arguments about biological reality and sexism that are clearly too advanced for your underdeveloped brain. Just say "I'm not smart enough for this" and tap out. Jesus why do the mentally disabled insist they get a say on women's rights when you can't gather enough braincells to recognize what a woman is? You got destroyed in those replies. Embarrassing.

Other radfem want to come and explain that they support autistic people and never seek to discredit their identity or their opinion on the basis of their disability?

A little advice: before coming to tell someone that their disability makes them stupid, check that you have a good level of written comprehension. Learn for example that there is a difference between "biological sex does not exist" and "the biological differences between males and females are complex and do not allow us to categorize the entire population satisfactorily. In addition these Differences are not a structuring element in a person's identity and are far from sufficient to understand the way in which social relations and discrimination take place. Therefore, movements aimed at combating misogyny should not be based on this criterion."

I suggest the author of this message respond to my post non-anonymously. After all, since I am mentally disabled, he will easily prove that he is right in a debate and there is absolutely no risk of making a fool of himself.

[monsterfucker-lisa-swallows]

tough love to my adhd brethren from your autistic sister.

hey. hey guys. i am taking you gently by the hand and hoping that i'm not triggering your rejection sensitive dysphoria because i'm trying to help. i always prefer that people tell me outright about things like this so i can improve, but i know some people just prefer to be blissfully ignorant and i'm sorry.

but time blindness is not an excuse to be constantly over an hour late to things.

i'm not saying that things don't happen. i'm not saying that you can't expect some accommodations. but you do have to work with other people and accommodate them as well. it's not fair to have your friends put their lives on hold for you because you want to be three hours late to social things.

i love my adhd friends. i want them to come out with me and do things. one of my adhd friends is always a few minutes late and i'm okay with that. i can deal. but i have another friend who is always half an hour late. another than is always 3 hours late. and when this is consistent, it makes me not want to invite them to time sensitive events. if it's just an informal gathering, sure. but for a road trip or a concert? i don't want to invite them because we'll all be late and miss it. it's inconsiderate to those of us who want to enjoy things to have to wait around doing nothing just because someone can't show up on time.

there are work arounds. set alarms and stick to them. figure out how long it takes you to get ready and block off that amount of time before the event so you're ready to go and then add to that the amount of time for travel. use a planner or calendar to make sure you're not overscheduling yourself and start saying no to social obligations that you know are putting too much strain on you. you do not have to go out every time someone asks if it is exhausting you or overbooking you. protect your peace. i've tried methods of telling people a different start time and hour or two before, but that doesn't always work and i don't feel like i should have to play games with grown adults. if i found out one of my friends was giving me a start time way before everyone else so i'd arrive on time, i'd feel infantilized.

i want to accommodate you guys, but it's a two way street. it's not ableist to ask people to be considerate of other people's time. i can't do things spontaneously because of my chronic illnesses and i can't just give someone a 5 hour window to show up because i can't task switch well without getting anxiety so i'd literally sit there for all 5 hours doing nothing in case that person showed up. i need you to know that repeatedly being late makes your friends feel like they're unimportant and undeserving of your respect, particularly if you always find a way to be on time to work but can't be on time to a simple social gathering. like i said, prioritize your time and hang out less often if you need to. don't offer your help for things that you won't actually have the ability to do. (example: my friend who is chronically late giving me rides to work but making me an hour late. it's so nice and appreciated to offer, but if you have problems with punctuality, this is not the thing to offer to do because workplaces will penalize you for not being on time.)

time blindness may always be a thing you have, but there are ways around it. it's okay if you slip up sometimes. but you do still need to try.

[danielforshort]

I'm actually so physically exhausted from work this week, which is incredible as I do not have a physically demanding job.

My team ran our first MRIs without the PI present!! And when I say my team I mean me and one other person!!!! I was so terrified as I felt really unsure of myself and incompetent at what was expected of me. I realised later a lot of that was because I did not have concrete steps/goals/expectations of what to do.

I sat down before the MRI days and wrote out a list of the tasks that needed to be done for the appointment (consenting a participant, opening different programs for the scan, etc) and sent it to my PI for review. I also gathered all the different scripts to put together a super easy to access way of guiding myself through an appointment. That calmed so much of my anxiety.

Unfortunately I didn't get to that till later in the day and I stressed myself out so much that I got a stress migraine and spiraled into an OCD loop for almost all of Monday. It sucks to lose so much time and energy to my illnesses.

The MRI appointments went really well and I think most importantly (for me) I felt confident and mentally present during the whole appointment. I wasn't overwhelmed or scared I wasn't doing the right thing.

Huge takeaway: I need to remember (and remind my team mates) that being autistic is a disability. I need accommodations to present me with the exact steps/expectations of me in order to keep myself regulated. We work with the autistic community in our research, so we do a lot of scaffolding and work to make sure all of our participants feel comfortable and know what is expected of them. Yet I forgot to do the same for myself!

I'm going to keep this in mind when I have my next one on one meeting with my PI next week. A huge drawback of being late-diagnosed and never receiving official accommodations is that I have to figure it all out on my own. I can tell when I'm distressed but I don't always know how to fix that/accommodate myself. My PI even asked (because I was really open with how anxious I was about running these MRIs without her) how to best support me/lessen the anxiety. I didn't have an answer.

Now I know that I was so distressed partially because I did not understand what was expected of me, and I can work on making sure that I am accommodated for that. But this can't only fall on me. Accommodating and working with disabled people means that my team needs to also understand and consider if what they are asking of me is accessible to me.

Being disabled in academia is hard! Academia is hard! My life has been so difficult lately and I feel like I cannot catch a break!! But I am not alone and I am determined to persevere.

[nei-ning]

Now that I've finished reading book about autism, let me just tell you, it was VERY eye opening! LOTS and LOTS of things which match me!

Therefor I wrote everything down and now, I'm gonna do my best and translate the list here. It WILL be long so be prepared. There's few questions where I left my own answer. Those are marked with *

Disorder without impairment of intellectual or language functioning.

"This was it!" a decision of refusing to do something anymore

Inner knowing of being autistic but still not knowing / realizing it

Anxiety, endless hole in the stomach

Sentences / words get stuck to play in the head as a loop

Anxiety feels like an another living being who lives inside you

Always felt of being different from others

No any help from anti-depression medicines and countless of therapy sessions

Trying to fit in women's most common mental health issues: Is this guilt after all, shame, too strong desire to please, super conscientious all the way to exhaustion, reaching for perfection, having eating disorder while hating her body. Maybe just chronically depressed? I'm none of these.

I don't care what others think of me

I can manage but only about those things which I'm interested in

I ignore everything boring

My human dignity does not depend on my body

Is sleeping difficult? No since I fall asleep every evening like a sauna lantern (saunalyhty)

Fear of not being believed

I can behave. I warn I can fake and maintain a facade.

I want to be honest and open

When talking, words fall on the floor and are forgotten there. I feel powerless since it feels like none understands me.

I'm often angry when others don't get it what I mean

I'm in a contact with other people more than I could handle

I like to talk long about the same subject and I don't like it when the subject it changed quickly.

Difficulties with eye contact

Hard to work together since others don't think like I.

Others' slowness is infuriating.

I don't like repeating things. Saying it once should be enough

In social situations I act and fake. I fear people.

I can't handle of being interrupted. Example: If another person on the phone wants something else than what I have in mind in that moment.

I don't like changing plans

I get tired easily and need breaks often

Few powerful objects of interest. Many things don't interest at all

Oversensitive to sounds (always wearing headphones)

I'm smart on certain things but on others completely useless

Can't survive from simple calculations or can't follow simple instructions

Challenges in routines. Taking a shower and brushing teeth are very challenging. I can manage but it's very challenging / demanding.

Everything practical and physical demands a lot of efforts

(Small) Talking is difficult since I never know what to say

Autism is caused by biological reasons and is heavily inherited

Autism is not an illness / disease. You can't train yourself out of it and there's no medication to it.

Difficulties in communication and social interaction

Limited behavioral patterns and targets of interest which can, for example, lead to it that routines are important and changes difficult

Senses can be over- or undersensitive.

Autistic has to reason that what others can do naturally

Strong sense of honesty and justice

It's easier to focus on details than on a bigger picture

It can be hard to start a tasks or end them

Most autism tests are made for MEN only

Do I like to play games? Yes (PS4 etc)*

I pay attention on cars' register plates? Yes*

Numbers fascinate me: Yes and no. (I believe in angel numbers so in that sense yes, otherwise no)*

I don't enjoy reading belles-lettres: No, I don't.*

I enjoy gathering information about different subjects, like cars: Depends (I like plague / Black Death!)*

Do I like social happenings and meeting people: No

I have to rest and recharge long after being social

Autistic girls couldn't handle changes, didn't know how to shower, couldn't get their teeth brushed, were extremely sensitive to sounds, got temper tantrums at home, slept badly and they had no friends. They were lonely girls who didn't play with dolls but broke them or only brushed their hair.

To autistic child being held by force / against their will in order to calm them is very damaging. Touch feels uncomfortable.

Autistic understands everything literally

Parents never asked at home how school day was so I learned not to speak about myself

Using words wrong infuriates

Do you feel the need to share your experience with others or is it irrelevant? - It's not if nothing hasn't happened. I don't feel I have anything to tell.

Autistic is strict about details

Music, writing and drawing helps autistic person to release tension

Autism can also be caused by "mother's coldness" which has caused child to withdraw and shutdown.

Autistic girls are handy (drawing, making jewelry, hobby) or then they like animals (or both)

Focuses so hard on drawing (for example) that forgets to eat, go to bathroom etc.

Synesthesia (seeing colors or forms when listening music, getting a taste of something in mouth from words, music, people etc. Example: I once saw a man on TV and he tasted like beetroot!)

Doesn't feel like fitting in society's roles, like how you should look

No connection to body

Periods surprise every time

Doesn't realize being sick

Eating disorder is common on adult autistic people

Connection to anorexia

Overwhelmed by sounds and lights. Can hear fridge's humming or kids outside even that windows are closed. Chat happening at the back of the bus, neighbors. All sounds flood in brains.

Remembers a lot from what s/he has heard

It's important for autistic person to control the situation

Stimming: A way to express emotions. Can appear as sniffing something, stroking pleasantly feeling items, movement (exam: dance), singing, repeating words, biting / chewing, listening sounds, pulling lips etc.

Hands need to re-learn things constantly (like how to peel potato)

Hands can survive from small tasks, not from big ones

Hate towards it you should constantly be doing something

Hard to be around people who are constantly moving, their movement(s) gets on the nerves (aka pisses off)

Doesn't invite anyone to visit them since visits are exhausting

Addiction of routines. Same food every day, each summer the same vacation destination, doing things in specific time because then you can prepare yourself for them.

Easier to understand self-made instructions

Cleaning little by little (task per day) so that housework doesn't become overwhelming

Talking rudely to yourself, keeping yourself stupid

Hard to interact with others' conversation. Usual respond is weird look and: "What?"

Fight / disagreement with a parent. Doesn't get along with father or mother

Laughing at things which others don't get

Perfect rest from sounds and movements (exam: No TV on)

Desire to intervene in matters (exam: baking) if result is not perfect

Lack of sense of direction

Unable to try new route to a market (fear of getting lost)

Anxiety which comes from familiar thing having something new or strange in it, that I haven't "grow up" but stayed "as a child".

Doesn't understand why people scream in concerts, games etc.

Difficulties of getting a female friend (for female autistic persons)

Lack of empathy

Cognitive empathy: Doesn't understand how to react in certain situations

Can do emotional empathy

Let's others decide

Doesn't have strength to go through the same things over and over again with a friend

Easier to get along with boys

Ready to sacrifice a lot for a friend

Fictions affect deeply (exam: as a learning material)

Too critical

Constant collisions and misunderstandings with people

[murder-cookie-dust393]

Hello, I see that you're doing matchups. Never tried these before, but here I go!

First up, things I like to do: I like to play Magic the Gathering, play video games(luv me Deep Rock Galactic), bake and cook, listen to music, thinking about various things while staring up at the ceiling from my bed, see new things(even if it's just a part of a building I rarely go in), and read wikis to get lore dumps on various stuff(like Cookie Run lol)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next up, Personality traits: I am mostly quiet and reserved, but can be quite energetic towards friends. I am considered the "Black Sheep" of my family and frequently spend time cooped up in room although I am still very close with them and can still get some family time in. I am also quite a good listener.

I am relatively frugal with money and would rather invest or save most of it though I still can splurge occasionally. I am known to be quite patient. I also have a guilty conscience and sometimes the smallest stuff can haunt me for a long time. When not around people I talk to I just go about my business quietly (usually with my head in the clouds).

I am also autistic and have been known for things like running around the house or spinning pencils or not grasping social ques (which can possible contribute to the above guilty conscience). I am also quite easily flustered. I think that should be it for personality traits

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Finally, dislikes. I do not like sitting in one place for a large amount of time, I don't like too much chaos in my life nor crowded areas. Lastly I do not like those large drop rides at amusement parks.

I hope this is enough

Tw: implied isolation, some manipulation

I match you with: Milk

Milk is a very chill dude, so he makes friends with most people. (If he can deal with both Yam and Dark Choco- I'm like 90% sure he can deal with everyone). So if you ever feel your guilt eating up, he's right there to fight against it. Honestly, shouldn't you just stay with him? So you don't keep finding yourself in these situations?

He's pretty extroverted, but if you guys are in a crowd, he'll leave with you to a quieter place. He prefers to talk to you individually anyway.

He's there for when you can't get the social cues. Either it's quickly changing the topic or telling you himself, he tries his best to help you. That includes trying not to fluster you so easily.

Oh your friends? Why do you keep wondering why they won't respond? How about you go on a walk with him, so you can tell him all your troubles.

(I was originally gonna put Werewolf- but then decided that was not going to help the situation lmao)

- Celina

[yippieitsarvensart]

OKAY I've gathered my thoughts and I am back with more octotrio headcanons!!! I felt kinda bad having such a heavy bias but then I realized most of us have a bias towards them and felt better XDD

Starting with Azul!! Azul does drag and is absolutely a drag queen, it makes SENSE!!! He is canonically based off a drag queen (Ursula is based on a drag queen and Azul is based on Ursula)!!!!! He's such a theater kid this is just a branching path of that, he loves attention and praise and the DRAMA!! He was made for this I KNOW it! Also also, he's totally been spoiled with land beds and comforts, like he's got the biggest bed and all the pillows and blankets and comforters, he has multitude weighted blankets for that sweet sweet squish, he's like the princess and the pea when something is out of place in his perfectly designed nest of comfort. Also I'm pretty sure this is canon, but like Azul is so freaking strong?? Like something rolls under a sofa at the lounge and he's like "ugh fine" and lifts it up with one hand and is like "well?? Grab the stupid thing, I have things to do" and people are just staring at him because WOAHHHH,,, STRONG! Azul let's Floyd do the squeezing because if he himself were to get angry with someone anf squeeze them, it would be FATAL. Like all ribs broken, spine snapped, didn't stand a damn chance. And now it's time to project againnn!!! So when octopi get bored/understimulated, they start biting and tearing off their own limbs because they simply cannot cope, and Azul is an octopus AND autistic so when he's understimulated he 100% starts biting his nails, his cuticles, his knuckles, until his hands are just messed up and scarred (why he prefers to wear gloves) and in his mer form his tentacles aren't safe either, he gets stressed or too bored and he just starts nibbling, someone get this boy a game or a puzzle STAT. Speaking of nibbles, his blood is blue!! In his mer form it's not super noticeable, but in his human form where humans with his complexion usually have warm pink or red undertones, his is a cool blue. When he's flustered or embarrassed he blushes blue! Do you SEE my vision it's GOD TIER!!!! His pupils are also rectangular like an octopus, sorry I don't make the rules (I'm not sorry and I do).

Next is Floyd!! Okay. So. His playlist is the BIGGEST mix bag of genres ever, he has all KINDS of funky tunes on there but the key ingredient is ENERGETIC!!! He needs music that's LOUD and CHAOTIC and he can DANCE TO, doesn't matter what it's about he just needs that ENERGY!!!!! Also this is random but, he's been humbled by bugs on multiple occasions. Like, he comes to land and he thinks it's so funny how people are scared of such small fry! So silly so stupid!! And then he gets stung by a wasp and his mood is ruined for a WEEK, nobody can tell him SHIT while he recovers, he's never been more upset in his life (lies). He also has beef with mosquitoes, like what do you MEAN on land there's bugs so tiny you can barely see them, can't even FEEL when they bite you, and they TAKE your BLOOD???? And they have the audacity to leave this big red itchy spot after they STEAL from you!!! He couldn't be more angry if he tried!!!! Not to mention the little fuckers have PREFERENCES and swarm him while Jade is left completely untouched!!! Azul gets some too but never as many as Floyd, he is so so bitter. OH OH ALSO HE WEARS DRESSES AND SKIRTS!!! They remind him of a jellyfish when he spins and they aren't constricting!!! He loves the flowy loose ones and loses his MIND when he can find a dress or skirt with pockets, it will immediately become his favorite article of clothing until he finds a new favorite next week!! He also loves using fun phone cases and phone charms, cool colorful shoelaces and beads, all kinds of stuff to express himself with fashion without the tight feeling of clothes!!!

It's JADE TIME BABY!! So, Jade is mainly appearance headcanons because I know in my heart he is alt as hell, like on campus he's all business and suits, but if you see him just going about his day on the island? ALT ALT ALT ALT!!!! He's punk as hell dude, custom jacket and big platform boots and all! He makes his own mushroom patches and pins, has wildlife conservation patches and mountain patches, frogs, deer, all kinds of fun land animals that he loves!! He also has slightly longer hair, but when he's not in business mode he ties it up in a small pony to show off his side shave on either side!! He has snake bites, dimple piercings, basically every possible ear piercing, a septum, eyebrow piercing, nose bridge pierced, he's got it ALL!!! He wears fingerless gloves too, or if it's a no glove day he wears tons of rings!!

TRIO HEADCANONS!! Okay so the gang all just decided to use he/him on land to make things easier for land dwellers and their silly little boxes of gender, but all of them either have no gender to begin with or a gender so complex and cosmic in nature it cannot be properly described/addressed. When they're alone though, Floyd and Azul will actually use she/they pronouns for Jade more often than he/him saying it "just feels right, I dunno". Jade agrees, but she doesn't really care what pronouns people use at the end of the day, just don't make her make your pronouns was/were.

BONUS RUGGIE??? Listen this is so random but so correct- Ruggie's taste in music mainly consists of female rappers. DONT ASK ME HOW WE GOT HERE, just know I'm right. He told me himself, okay? He's working and has his ear buds in and it's Megan Thee Stallion blasting, he told me so I know.

AAAND DONE (for now)!! Also if I maybe perhaps made a playlist of songs I think Floyd with listen to, would you like me to send it over? It'll be full of bangers, trust. Also like with all my ramble asks no proof read so God speed reading this SJSGSJSHDHJDVF

I SQUEAALLLEDDDDD EEEHEHEHEE THESE ARE SO SO SO GOOD >__<!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had to reread tjos over again so many times- not bc I didn't understand anything- but because of just how right you are I needed to try to absorb the info into my system... Love when people do long long rants like these I am such a listener and I love reading but responding always gets my ass... beats me down,... Me taking an entire 2 days to figure out how to word one (1) sentence. /hj I just think it's funny (update on this I've been typing for hours my hands are starting to cramp and I haven't even written that much)

I absolutely love it when people draw/write Azul to have square pupils, n'd other... octopus-like features yu kno... I didn't know octopi bit off their limbs?? (I'm guessing they also grow them back, I wish I could do that wtf???) Azul being so super strong also SPEAKS to me, I don't think u mentioned this but I also love it when people draw Azul to be plus sized (so real, exactly like god intended/silly) AND ALSO WITH SPLATOON STYLE OCTO-HAIR LMAOO I just remembered one of my friends draws Azul with that kind of hair and it made me laugh so hard /pos

FLOYD BEING INTO DRESSES/SKIRTS?? I'M GOING BONKERS INSANE I'M IN LOVE FOR REAL?? I NEED to draw them in more skirts now thank you so much for this... He's gunna look so cute for real... And also in game; For the guest room and friendship stuff Floyd likes cute and Unique things!! That's so adorable I'm screaming they're literally just a little (crazy) guy >__<//....... !!!!!!!!!! I can do so much with this information. slams fist on table. I'm in art block rn though and I'm so UPSET. LET ME DRAW. Also him having beef with bugs is so real and so me. I also hate mozzies AND YES THEM HAVING FUCKING PREFERENCES ??? HELLO?? LEAVE ME ALONE. crying emoji!

I love twins with opposite aesthetics, I always forget that Jade is (canonically?) into punk/alt fashion, whenever I go to draw him out of uniform I get stumped like. "was he the one who liked that fashion.. or someone else like am I trippin' did I imagine that..." But now I can draw F n' J in opposite clothing styles... Jade being punk/alt is so mecore like she's just like me for real. Also I really like mallejade as a ship/even just as friends but the goth/alt duo?? going out on dates and being so tall and scaring people so bad?? I already think Malleus loves wearing dresses that reach the ankles and tall dainty shoes... If NRC had a female uniform I think Malleus would own a set. Along with a lot of other characters but I don't feel compelled to list them all right now (the transfems are taking over the all-boys school!! oh no!!! /hj)

I often use she/they/he for the trio cuz I completely agree!! They are so gender non-conforming... they are so genderfuck... they are so all pronouns they are so pansexual?? they are so. weird little thangs. /aff The way they all use he/him on land just to accommodate HUMANS and their STUPID gender boxes is more of a Azul/Jade idea- Floyd being the one they have to convince to do the same. Even though Floyd doesn't care how people decide to perceive them, and they'd probably get he/him'd anyway, I like to think sometimes she causes problems by going "oh my god... you.. misgendered me?? how could you do this to me I'm. I'm so hurt. I actually use [insert very long list of pronouns INCLUDING neopronouns just to mess with people] :/// How could you not know that about me." Just a silly thing I think would happen hee hee...

Ruggie listening to female rappers is so real no I was also told my him in person he showed me his playlist... since we on the topic of music as well I think Malleus listens to like Radiohead, The Smiths, Horror Vacui, Male tears, sometimes Muse and Nirvana- He dips his toes into Death/Black metal/screamo sometimes due to Lilia's influence. He doesn't like it a LOT but he likes being close to people through things they like so he basically tricked himself into liking that genre of music... Adorable methinks I like to mention this a lot and I don't remember if I did last time but Floyd PTV + MCR liker + 6arleyhuman + Maneskin... And funky video game ost's !! if you let me keep talking I could probably assign most of the students a music taste because I know I'm right. Also Azul and Vil both love Lady Gaga. Vil likes Destiny's Child. Cater is a kpop stan and only listens to girl groups. Riddle likes Lawfey, Aurora and City And Colour. Idia likes songs that were popular in 2015-20 because of gacha videos on youtube, preppy anime songs and also video game ost's from his favourite games. ANYWYSSYDSHUY -- ANYWAYS YES YES I'D LOVE TO HEAR THE PLAYLIST??? PLEASE !!!! :DDDDD

[jamiekb]

Listening to TMA for the first time (Part VII)

Part I II III IV V VI

81-100

#81 A Guest for Mr. Spider: Ok, that was an interesting way to begin the season for sure. I do like the narrative that John has always been surrounded by these Entities, just out of reach until one day he won't be. Barely managing to get away time after time until he fulfills his purpose I guess? Anyway, good to know that Leitner books can take anyone away as long as they are able to read, no age requirement necessary. And I'm sorry John but I didn't doubt for a second that you were an annoying child (like outside the autistic coded aspect, or maybe it’s just that huh)

#82 The Eyewitnesses: Damn no wonder she doesnt go around sharing the origin of her nickname. It's so interesting to get to see more of Elias, up until now he's been just kinda doing his own thing, not really helping anyone too much. He can arrange for the CO2 cans but not security cameras, just decides to give John the key to the tunnels, only intervenes with the others when tension is too high. Is he like a manifestation of the Eye? He can tell your life story from a glance or at least when youve encountered the supernatural, knows everything about the Institute and its employees, and I'm sure will have something to do with John coming back to the archives. Weird guy. Also maybe he was the one to turn on the recorder? Or is it just sentient?

#83 Drawing a Blank: Ah ok so if I understand them the Stranger is anything that isnt quite human, just a bit off, just a bit uncanny. But is it enough that they are uncanny or do they need to take the place of someone? Or are those two different things/beings? Also may I just mention how nice of Georgie to let John stay at her house, and how gratefull they should be that John never takes about his other connections? friends??

#84 Possesive: Oh really can't trust Elias even a little bit anymore can we? Poor Martin with no way of knowing what he might do to anyone can't even warn Melanie properly. Hope we get to hear when Tim finds out and they should also really read her in on what they've gathered so far. I like her and wanted to see more of her, but not like this. Although I have to saw I'm not actually surprised, it felt like it was building up to it, maybe cause she was in the Institute so much it claimed her? Oh and what is that "to whoever is listening"? If they're just records then it's not completely unusual that who reads them switches, why the need to point it out? narrative reasons maybe but feels a bit obvious.

#85 Upon the Stairs: I think all of the possibly perspectives to look at the statements John has recieved are valid. Michael is dangerous. Many were once people but can't go back in a sense. And I'm sure they are sent by someone in the Archives, like Elias maybe? Love that John can interact like "normal" people with someone, can make a joke about a guy your friend is gonna date.

#86 Tucked In: I find it quite funny that both Martin and Tim are not confortable making statements for whatever reason, maybe because it's something only The Archivist does or just the general situation. This does go with my headcannon that John can give it that extra emphasis and feeling because he's the Head Archivist, kinda like Elias in a way. Although Melanie was quite good, love how she's still hesitant to believe the whole thing. And nice of her to agree to meet John, and of course he's paranoid enough to record just out in the world.

#87 The Uncanny Valley: wow, that was a dense episode. So this poor man encountered the operation by which these things wear human faces (like the mannequin at the store, the humans stuffed with saw dust, maybe even changelings), which is run by I Do Not Know You. They want to carry out the Unknowing, in collaboration with the Lightless Flame. Those are th ones seen with Agnes who could burn things and maybe the delivery guys??? The woman that had accompanied Agnes more closely is Jude Perry. Still a ton of questions: is the Devastion and the Unkowing the same? Have we encountered Jude Perry in a statement before? Who is Orsinov and is he related to the circus? Why is the circus now stalking John? And can someone please give Georgie and explanation and a medal for being such a good friend.

#88 Dig: Damn so it's the same calliope, how did they get a hold of it? Was it Elias? Did the Eye just kinda facilitated it to the circus? Also love how unsettled they all seem when they finish reading statements, nvm just John, the institute just kinda gives them the ability to really tell it how it is. I'm guessing Melanie was asking around because she's helping John. Weird that they don't remember the statement about the calliope, maybe they really just do some research but don't really read the statements.

#89 Twice as Bright: that was so cool!!! finally an insight into the Lightless Flame, kind how that lot feels, a bit of how the Eye also works. Also interesting how Perry says that it will consume you if you don't feed it. So maybe Gertrude investigating into things fed it and she was only killed because Elias deemed it so. So maybe John having like something to investigate is making him more stable??? And nice to know that John has an actual ability, weird as it may be. But also is there gonna be anything left of him by the end??? Scars from worms, burnt hand, what's next?

#90 Body Builder: I'm still wondering (maybe I'm slow on picking it up) is the tape just pressing itself whenever someone enters the room???

#91 The Coming Storm: web imagery but that's not the main thing obviously. Good to see John finally starting to learn what he can do, but still not enough John. So Daisy just goes around trying to kill the manifestation of entities? And hoefully that's not the last of Mike we see, it was nice to see how he operates. And would that work? Sure John is the Archivist but Elias is still part of the Institute, the Eye, who could triumph over the other? Or maybe just a stillmate? omg only when i listened to the next did I really understand that John was strangled, he's really just gonna be scars by the end of this.

#92 Nothing besides remains: well thanks Elias I guess for explaining most of those things. So Daisy will remain basically hired muscle for when Elias wants to, Basira is now tied to the Institute, indeed Elias has near unlimited power for aything pertaining the Eye but needs things to naturally develope so it doesn't interfere (or something??? so that it goes with the nature of the Eye i guess), John is back to work and will continue to slowly investigate more on this Unknowing ritual to stop the world from ending basically. What a good buildup to all of this it was, still hoping we'll see more of Michael, sure Elias doesn't like him but more because its a loose canon.

#93 Contaminant: well don't just leave it at that Georgie, give John a statement. Was she one of its victims?? Also I really hope that John manages to keep a nice normal friend outside the Archives, though I'm not hopeful. At least I hope nothing happens to the Admiral.

#94 Dead Woman Walking: I knew I would eat my words about Georgie being normal as soon as the last episode ended but still, damn. Well at least she's still alive and can maybe understand John so there's that. And yes John they have already told you that it still takes some effort, both Mike and Elias said that i believe, at least Elias, you're the Archivist now learn to listen and process.

#95 Absent Without Leave: Poor Martin, can't even have a breakdown in peace, but yeah it sounds like Basira that she would just stroll along, that's been her life since she's been sanctioned anyway.

#96 Return to Sender: Good to know that John still has a ways to go before he really gets how to compel. So he still needs to learn what to ask, how to ask and that his questions can give them as many answers as he gets. So now the Mimic thing knows that the Skin is loose somewhere or at least that the Archivist doesn't know where it is.

#97 We All Ignore the Pit: not a big surprise, but nice to know that the things that are mimics are the same at the circus. Weird to want that skin but okay to each their own. I just hope Orsinov didn't use Georgie's or the Adminal's voice box. Again John really is the punching bag of the entities

#98 Lights Out: oh Melanie, please be careful, i really like you. Hope John can come back soon so that poor Martin can stop reading statements, it kinda takes even more out of him than it usually does John. Good to know the Eye just kinda records whenever it can and wnats to. I understand how frustrating it must be Tim but it still recorded a conversation, get used to it.

#99 Dust to Dust: I think I'm starting to understand the running joke of "you look away for a second and John has been kidnapped again". Well that doesn't sound good for him, wonder if anyone will notice him or what they'll do to him. Give him a break you things, hes basically new to the whole thing, even Perry said it took her a while to understand.

#100 I Guess You Had To Be There: so you can really tell when John doesn't show up at work I guess. So which Lukas is that? Is that the fiancé? Or the one at sea? Or maybe they're the same, I'll be honest I have difficulty retaining the names. Even if they were all over the place the stories do bear resemblance to known entities: Agnes, the thing about the tunnels and the spider thing.