#<- and other things that could doxx me lmao

[weebsinstash]

Wow the "conclusion" to this is wild. Lmao @ her saying that she'll look at your blog in the future to feel better about herself. Hobbyless behavior. Sorry you got all of that shit for months, it's just so fucking bizarre. I really love your writing and your blog and I hope despite all of that shit that you're having a good day 💕

I'm just like. Kind of sitting here wondering what the point even was.

Like literally at the core of this argument was i posted about a family event and a complete stranger got so extremely upset that they. Literally started a fight on anon, and then after I told them to get fucked, then proceeded to pretend to be an underage rape survivor and said I made them attempt suicide, and then messaged TONS of people saying "weebsinstash is a rape apologist who bullied cjfjfj" and it was literally all a fucking lie. They want to say they bullied me for entertainment but what was rhe point of like. Harassing dozens of other people who weren't even involved. That's obviously not when anything to do with me. That's acting like a freak because you think it's Cute And Quirky

Like. I cannot emphasize enough that the hypothetical child who harmed themselves was the literal only single aspect of this entire thing that could even mildly make me feel bad and this actually stupid fucking cunt gave themselves up, "oh by the way that person was never real" like, damn if you were an actual good troll you never would've revealed that, so you can't even be a little basement dweller correctly

Imagine being like "yeah you know the literal only thing about this that might actually cause you some sort of guilt and was the crux of my whole crusade against you lol yeah it was just a lie and the friends who apologized on my behalf were also me and the people who were nice to you were also me" like wow you were OBSESSED OBSESSED

But there's also so many more layers to that? They made blogs and maintained them to talk to me pretending to be people who were also harassed. They literally gave me emotional support as a "gotcha"? Like how is that a gag. Do you not realize repeatedly popping out of the woodwork saying "hey every mean thing that was said to you over xyz amount of months was me all along" has literally just trained me to automatically blame you for any bad feedback and thus you have granted me the ability to be insulted and not care. Like literally any time I get an ask about anything and it's rude I just assume it's this one single person now. And I don't get hate mail so it was always kind of obvious anyways. But like they literallt actually gave me a gift because I won't really ever believe anything nasty I get ever again :)

But like. The sheer. Actual literal disconnect from reality for this person to fully say with their whole chest, "ha ha yeah I really showed YOU and made YOU look stupid, the way I pretended to be a child, lied about rape, publicly harassed complete strangers, tried to doxx you, made a fake dating profile for you, uploaded your photos in multiple places, sent you stuff on anon to take credit for it later, and maintained disguises for most of a year, haha wow don't YOU look dumb!"

Bro after like one month of this shit I literally just started thinking, "oh it's that one moron again" and nothing was ever hurtful ever again. You have to realize there's a point where someone has made themselves look so stupid and unlikeable you don't care what they think so it's sort of like. Oh woo hoo you called me ugly and fat, got any new material? Like I don't even have to think "oh gosh I'm so ugly and gross and I feel bad cause they said that" I just think "oh wow potshots at my appearance, yeah that's what I would expect someone of your intelligence to say"

I just. Can I just be blunt and say this wasn't even good trolling. It was annoying but they were so blatantly bad at it literally everyone just looked at the kind of shit they posted and immediately called them unhinged. There wasn't a coherent enough effort here to ever actually do any real damage, not to my personal life or my social reputation. I'm literally coming out of this just as clean as I went in. Like shit you really could have tried to dig in on that "look what she said to this poor widdle baby" angle but you just went full retard sending me literal actual paragraphs saying the most basic of insults. Yeah wow there was really ever a chance people were going to seriously believe you, sure

It's just kinda. Yeah. I know I already said this but I can't get over, my end of this is opening my inbox and deleting shit and nothing more, i may answer stuff and discuss it but nothing is happening to me and im not "doing anything back". Meanwhile they were literally making blogs, maintaining covers, trying to stalk me, stalking my mutuals, found pictures of my family, were sending pictures of my family to other people.... but claim THEY made ME look stupid, that I'M entertaining for THEM. OK. I guess that's the level of genuine delusion you have to operate on to even start this shit to begin with

But uh yeah to finish your point I actually had a great day at work and got a good raise recently so I'm doing OK :) I've been uh, you know, working on drafts and maybe someday one of them will see the light haha. If I ever need a pick me up I can always tell myself, "at least I never did anything as stupid as THIS"

[just-antithings]

Hey, I'm considering making another Tumblr blog to talk about my 'problematic' ships. Do you think it would be enough to just make a secondary blog or should I start a whole new separate account? I'd rather not deal with a separate account, bc I'd need to manage another email, but i might do it anyway. I was wondering what you/your followers opinions were on what is better?

I can help with this! So, for my more problematic ships, I created a whole other account. (I also created a separate ao3 account, but I'll stick to talking about Tumblr.)

Now, other anon, it depends on how secretive you want to be. I have a mutual who created a sideblog for their more problematic ships in our fandom. They'd made a name for themselves, mainly shipping/creating wholesome content, so while they've always been vocal about saying "ship and let ship", they got nervous about suddenly posting about their problematic ships/headcanons on main, so they made a sideblog.

Since it's a sideblog, their interactions with other blogs are a bit more limited, unless they want to "out" their main, which they did by accident. They made a post, another mutual replied, and then my mutual replied to that, forgetting that when you reply in the notes, it shows your main account url and icon, not your sideblog's url and icon.

From what I've seen, this hasn't caused any problems for them, but while our fandom has lots of anti-leaning people (a big blog in a server I'm in was complaining about proshippers being bad and too many people in the fandom making problematic content or "letting it slide", but that's a separate thing), most people in the fandom seem to go by "block, complain to friends in servers/group chats or make vague posts, and move on".

If the fandom you're (other anon) in has more vocal antis, you might want to make a whole other account, like I have. Now, in my case, the reason I made a completely separate account is that I've gotten stupid. I've gotten really personal on my main fandom blog, and things I've said can make it easy to doxx me. (Like, I wasn't giving out my legal name or anything, but someone with too much time on their hands could go through my personal posts (now deleted) and piece together enough to guess my general location or potentially find my old accounts on other social media, which could lead them to my (dead but not deleted, I think, unless Musk made good on deleting all unused accounts) twt, which has my deadname.)

I also plan on publishing at some point, which I've been open about on my fandom blog, often talking about my original content, not just my fandom stuff. After years of seeing how the anti mindset has infected authors on twitter, I've decided I DO NOT want my fandom persona and the pen name I'll be using when I publish to be connected. Especially when my main fandom is one of the "problematic" ones.

Having a separate account (the email I use is one I already had that I use for spam stuff, like online shopping/subscriptions/etc) makes it so I don't have to be as careful when it comes to sending asks or replying in posts, like my mutual I mentioned above. I'm also more vocal on my "secret account" about ships and other fandoms I've never mentioned on my main account, and the aesthetic is different, too.

Now, for me, I plan on not using my main account after a while and making my "secret account" my main one eventually. (Basically like Shippers Protection Program lmao) For me, privacy/secrecy was the biggest reason for me making a separate account. A side account leaves way too many chances for me to make a "whoops, wrong blog!" mistake when posting or reblogging. For my mutual, a sideblog is enough, since most mutuals they regularly interact with either ship the same problematic ships or support them shipping them, so they wanted to keep their secret blog open enough that their friends/mutuals could find them and talk about their ships.

Basically, my mutual just needed a separate room to feel safe talking about their ships. I needed to move into a whole new house to feel safe talking about my ships/interacting in fandom in general. It's all about what makes you feel safest. Good luck, and have fun!

Some great advice for anon!

[i-am-an-atomic-bomb]

hi! no need for a lengthy reply, i just thought you might have an interesting take. ive been getting more into wiedźmin/ the witcher (am even considering listening to the books!) but i find some of its ideas about disability rather off-putting, like Yennefer’s backstory. any thoughts? <3

first i have to specify that i haven’t seen season 2 of the show and only played the third game (plus watched some gameplay of others but only some) back when wild hunt came out (holy shit that was over 7 years ago…) so my lore knowledge is lacking but i’ll try to answer the best i can

but from i remember the books are simultaneously better and worse than the show in this regard ??? specifically with yennefer’s backstory, in the novels how she looks is only magically changed after she tries to commit suicide at aretuza, but it’s also a much smaller part, pretty sure all of that is only mentioned unlike in the show where some of the plot’s messy timeline takes place when she’s young. i know this is still a harmful trope but it’s less annoying that way i think. in the games from what i remember there’s even less of that if any.

also. as someone who was raised as a woman and has cerebral palsy, if i were given the choice to sacrifice my womb to get rid of my disability i’d do it in a heartbeat (which i know is not the exact same thing like boohoo only my legs are a little fucked and kinda one of my arms and one side of the face kinda take longer to react but i’m kinda fairly priveledged ??? i guess ??? like the doctors expected it to be worse). i don’t fucking know, we live in a society. it’s problematic but accurate.

it’s also mentioned in the books over and over again that due to witcher shit i guess, geralt sees the real her when he looks at yennefer like he can see through the transformation magic. which i think is sweet goddamn i wish i had someone like that. there’s more angst surrounding the fact that she can’t have biological children i think ? but i think that was fairly accurate from what i’ve heard from women who’ve dealt with that. oh and geralt also deals with chronic pain constantly cause when his injuries are healed magically they still hurt as if they weren’t. given that sapkowski wrote that shit in the 80s and 90s as a white able-bodied guy i think he tried at least. especially after hearing from my mother first hand how awful 80s poland was about disabled people.

i can’t really speak on other characters much ??? cause like i said i don’t remember shit. i know there was filippa who gouged her eyes out but can’t recall like specific characters from side quests who stood out ect. also, geralt deals with bigotry from random from npcs all the time but that’s more of a racism simulation/metaphor/whatever i think. because he does look much less „human” in the books than in the show/game, it’s even in the book description on the cover i think ?

[imagine--if]

I feel like Eddie would be paranoid about scaring the reader when he gets worked up as the Riddler during his livestreams so afterwards he immediately goes to check up on her wherever she is in the apartment to make sure she isn't scared or uncomfortable. He never wants to disturb her if she's trying to sleep or watching TV. "Now you promise me if I go too far and the yelling makes you upset you'll tell me ok? I would never want to scare my precious baby."

A/N: Yep yep, did hcs for this one 💚 I'll be doing more matchup answers and stuff tomorrow, I've been revising a lot for the last few exams lmao, enjoy!! (Also if you guys want Selina imagines then feel free to request cus I'm empty of ideas so far hehe)

Pairing: Dano!Riddler x reader (The Batman 2022)

Warnings: Mentions of violence and... well, you've seen it 😂

•✰ Edward's massively protective in any case, being the Riddler or not, and he is aware of how deep and emotionally raw his rants and stuff can be when interacting with his followers

•✰ He'd hate to make you feel scared of him, because he's the one that wants to take that fear away from you by getting rid of the scum who bring it!! So after the initial worry of revealing himself as The Riddler to you, he's still hesitant about you being directly exposed to that level of manic energy

•✰ Unless you happily insist on being present for his 'trials' and talks, Eddie knows you're safe and content in the room right next to the one he's in, and has his phone nearby in case you text him for something

•✰ Edward livestreams whenever he feels inspiration for it really, so it could be some point in the afternoon or just before bed or some random time like that. Even so, if you're trying to sleep or are working on something important, he'll either reschedule or try and keep it down as much as he can because he doesn't want to disturb you at all

•✰ When you text him little check-up messages to make sure he's doing good after going involved completely in his words, it calms him down a little and grounds him because he's not alone, he has his followers and the love of his life ♡

•✰ Edward sees you as a perfect, pure angel no matter what kind of life you lead or anything like that, so he'll sure as hell treat you like one and baby you a little, which is kind of cute because he gets all sappy (not like he isn't sappy all the time anyway 😌)

•✰ I know some other people think differently, but I really believe that The Riddler's followers would respect his s/o and be almost equally as protective because The Riddler talks you up so much adoringly and doxxes anyone who makes rude/inappropriate comments

•✰ They may be slightly teasing or judgemental if you're completely innocent, but that gives them all the more reason to help Eddie show you the light and give you the freedom and true happiness you deserve by cleaning up Gotham for people like you

•✰ If you're just as confident and on board with the whole thing as The Riddler is, you got their respect and loyalty and likeminded people to chat or play games with online 😂

•✰ Edward monitors a lot of that though, because out of everyone, he wants to be closest to you 🥰

•✰ He lets you know before he livestreams that he's going to, like, "I'm going to start streaming again- is that okay? You just tell me if it gets too much for you, darling, I would never want you afraid of me..."

•✰ His more daring followers have definitely called him a simp, and at this point, Eddie doesn't even try to deny it ♡♡

.・ Taglist: ・.

@bimboanime @katjourno @yoyoanaria @yaeyuuki @vinxlsketches @beenz-beenz @ghoulsgraveyard @birds-have-teeth @repostingmyfavs @r3ptiliaaa @for3v3rda1sy @glitterycheesecakegladiator @moonwritesblog @lilyevans1 @httpsunflowers @hxney-lemcn @confusedchildsstuff @phantomofthecathedral @sugahbabieexo @bokksieu @skateb0red @wilburrrsworld @philiasoul @darthcringe @felicityofbakerstreet @bloodypantomime @deadlights-darling @tianotfound @mortem-muse @ireadandream @tinyryder @kpopgirlbtssvt @truecobblepot @jessicainhell

[callmearcturus]

did you learn anything particular from this year of writing? i was going to suggest writing long stories but apparently youve been doing that for years!

I think I've learned to cut out a lot of the chaff from stories. I think this is the year of (and this will sound hilarious given WHAT I wrote this year) being less self-indulgent. but on a technical level, not a subject matter level.

I've seen a lot of posts about how Real Writing requires a lot less lingering, a lot less of the indulgence that is common in fic, because one of the many things fic can do is to provide those things that we all feel emotionally are missing from a story.

when i read that post i kind of stopped and thought about what I would cut from, for instance, KTOWL or TES to trim that chaff. And I know immediately what I'd have to cut, but at least with KTOWL, I already marked a lot of that as "bonus" content anyway. besides the sexy bonus chapters, I need to tighten up act one, and i think lose two scenes in act two, but otherwise?

I have talked a lot about how I'm kind of at a point skill-wise where I'm very confident in the things I do well while also knowing pretty well what I need to tighten up and work on. I think 2022 was the year of learning to self-edit and to write as expediently as possible.

I know how to do rich, dense, florid prose to put a precise image in the reader's head, to evoke a sense of taste or smell. my food porn is fucking legendary at this point.

but I have now also learned that a very powerful tactic in writing is to stagger between doing the Rich Velvet Prose and the expedience. using both in a story allows you to textually punch the reader in the jaw, which I find extremely fun. when KTOWL Dirk explains early in the story that every fight needs to be less than 15 seconds, that became a talisman to invoke both in universe and in the technique.

oh my god that's a lot lmao.

outside that, i also figured out what I want when I write Rose, and that (this is painful to admit) I don't have anything interesting to contribute to Rosemary as a ship, even though I could talk all fucking day about how much I love it in canon. but with both of those characters, when I want to challenge them and to write them as people who are still very much In Progress, that necessitates having them collide with other people. which makes me sad! but I pretty much only like writing Rose when she's a fucking disaster lesbian and I tend to like Kanaya's interactions with a broader cast.

and tbh my 'ship' this year for rose was undoubtedly Rose+Jake as mean bitchy queers and That Whole Fucking Thing I stumbled into with Karkat+Rose in the fallout AU. which was an actual accidental self-doxx, yeah.

[opheliabloo]

if you have been overwhelmed by despair and guilt after the last 48 hours, i encourage you to focus on being the good part of the fandom instead of letting the loud, reprehensible minority taint the experience of what could potentially be a source of passion going forward. post about the recent lore, make crazy conspiracies about the upcoming dream team meet-up worthy of the shiniest tinfoil hats, post about the fics you’re writing or the art you’re drawing. no amount of condemnation will change the opinions of those already willing to do such reprehensible things like doxx minors and abuse victims for their own personal gain. if you have genuinely had your fill of this fandom or this content, leave and leave guiltlessly — this post is not a criticism of your actions, nor is it a criticism of those who were dissatisfied with dream during some or all of this. Moving on does not equal forgetting this ever happened. it just means allowing ourselves to breathe now that the situation has reached its conclusion.

this community is filled with some incredible talent, and i never see any lack of amazing art on my dash. as a fic author myself, i have a special appreciation for all the stellar writers here, from the likes of Heatwaves and Passerine to the hilarity of Mangoball and the fics that never go viral but sit in my head rent free for fucking DAYS lmao. over the last two days ive seen countless anons asking the people i follow if they’re okay and reminding them of how much their blog brings them joy, posts of people urging others to step away and focus on themselves if they’re doomscrolling. kindness whispers where cruelty yells, but the kindness in this fandom is not lost on me. ranboo found his foothold in this fandom in a major way, and now he’s off having the time of his life. hundreds of thousands of people all gathered onto a single tommy twitch stream to watch him face off against dream like it was some massive sports game. Quackity makes literal lore movies for us and gets so excited for the community’s reaction he tweets about it hyping it up for days. the analysis posts are always so interesting, the memes hilarious if not a little cursed. it’s a disservice to us all if we forget how good a community can be in SPITE of its flaws. dream obviously cherishes his community if he’s willing to stick around through all this, so never believe that the entirety of the fandom is irredeemably toxic. you’ll drag yourself — and your passion — down too.

tldr; take a breath, relax your shoulders, and let the bad times make you focus on being the good in this fandom that drew us all here to begin with. we can’t control when bad people do bad things, but we can curate our own enjoyment of this online community and lift each other up with the support and kindness ive already seen exemplified over the last couple days instead of wallowing in the despair and guilt of thinking the community is a lost cause. the best way to improve this clown circus of ours is to make an example of what good behaviour looks like. take care of yourselves, take a break from this fandom or this content if that’s what’s best for you, and indulge in your passion in whatever way is most fun for you. <3

[shimenchus]

...I haven't seen a single toku blog receive any ask about a thea someone? And I follow quite a lot. So unless you're hanging out in some really weird circle of it... (after all, due to various reasons, toku tumblr is more like a bunch of bubbles instead of one monolith.)

What I HAVE seen are a lot of them still reblogging satoryuga's gifsets with positive tags, even to this day. From what I understand, most of them are pretty sure that she isn't a terf, and are against the re-uploader. However, they're not sure who is behind it. And judging by how this re-uploader has the means to doxx extremely personal info of random Tumblr users and create loads of sockpuppets, anything is possible. (For all we know, that person could be the re-uploader, or it could be some distraction to hide the real re-uploader's identity.)

This is also why--out of the fans I've spoken to--they've been trying to deal with the situation quietly (reporting hate comments, leaving supportive DMs to satoryuga, etc). We've already seen from the re-uploader's 2nd blog post (where they @ 'd a few people that were against the re-uploader for different reasons) that they're willing to threaten others too. If anything, I think the more accurate thing to do is ask why they would @ those users in particular (since by @ -ing them, they're turning those bloggers into targets). Clearly the re-uploader sees those people as either threats or easy targets to have beef with.

i'm not hanging out in any weird circles i promise you, everyone i follow in the fandom are just other girls who like sentai. yesterday i saw quite a few people getting told to "block and dni" with thea-nymo which is the real account of the reuploader if you didn't know that, there were even people outside of the fandom getting asks which makes no sense because people who don't know what sentai is definitely wouldn't know who satoryuga is lol

i get the fear around the doxxing, i don't think anybody should be forced to do anything they're uncomfortable with and if there's people in the fandom who aren't liking or making shady posts about satoryuga and have privately reached out to her because that's what they're comfortable with then that's great, more power to them.

i mean, i never in my life got so many grown adults telling me to get graphically and violently raped and murdered until i called them out on harassing satoryuga, i know most people would not have the stomach for that kind of stuff so i fully understand the ones who don't want to openly say anything.

but the ones who are leaning into the "i'm not looking at any evidence because someone told me satoryuga = bad = she should get raped and murdered because i can't think for myself" crowd can find a tall tree to get caught up in.

and most of the people that got @ by the reuploader weren't people who against him, it was people he was against lol considering neckspike got @ and that loser was the first person starting the "this is a hoax none of this is real it's a psychop" stuff against satoryuga.

i think stacaesar and diamondsketches are the only people who got @ that the reuploader was purposely trying to draw attention to, to get the cult to attack them too, because much like satoryuga, neither of them did anything wrong.

neckspike and whatever that artist's name was (they blocked me after calling me a crackhead so i don't remember lmao) are super anti-satoryuga and couldn't make a single argument against her/against the people supporting her without resorting to racism and misogyny, so if anybody sent those two even 1 threat... well, babygirl that's on them lol

thanks for the nice message though, i wasn't expecting someone else from the fandom to see it and give a response like this that wasn't another rape threat/"slit your wrists terf" type message.

[serenheist]

What Jungkook is like in a relationship/ Jungkook as a boyfriend Tarot reading

I was gonna put Jin up first but I finished Jungkook quicker so oops but I’m finally back after 200 years of adulting things

1. How long does it take Jungkook to get into a relationship? 8 of pentacles, 2 of cups, the world Do he prefer long or short term relationships 7 of swords, ace of wands Nelys the alchemist 27 reversed, 5 of swords, 9 of cups reversed 

For an actual relationship and not just dating I think he can take a while if not a long ass time because he’s too much of a perfectionist and will work hard at making sure everything is right before getting into a relationship. I don't know why I’m getting like before things would get “steamy” he would never let them see his body until he worked out enough for his own standards like everything has to be perfected and mastered beforehand. There’s also a reoccurring theme of work getting in the way and even in the beginning stages it’s like he meets up with them does whatever then has to hurry and run back to work and is like “hey I gotta go but I’ll text you later” type of shit. Big focus mostly on career though so it’s hard to tell. But I still think he’s not just sleeping around with just anyone I mean they have to be important if the 2 of cups pops up. I don’t think he’ll get into an actual relationship with someone unless there’s a strong connection. Or at least to him it seems like an important connection.

I gotta say too that the 7 of swords usually screams fuckboi to me but in this case I think the lying and trickery aspect of the card can be taken literally to mean of course he has to lie and sneak around when fans would legit doxx and slit his partners throat if they knew they were together. But anyway in a relationship there’s definitely gonna be extremely strong sexual chemistry I don’t know why this keeps popping up but alright. But one annoying thing is that in a relationship jungkook seems to like fighting in a way. He doesn’t like to lose to anything and will want to win an argument even if it’s petty. There’s also a kind of energy of the other person feeling inadequate sometimes with how much praise he gets from the entire world. It makes the other person feel as exposed since they’re not doing as “well” in the grand scheme of things. And will sometimes not want to compliment him on things because he gets compliments from the entire world this is just day to day petty shit. Another thing is getting into a relationship thinking this person is the one but then realizing over time and all the work you put in was useless cause this is emotionally unfulfilling.

2. Past and present love life king of pentacles, wheel of fortune reversed, queen of pentacles 

Past: bruh his love life in the past is similar to the present. He was mostly focused on building his own career and wealth and love was on the back burner tbh. I think since he has huge goals for himself there was really no time to even do other things. But his love life right now seems like it’s a external long term problem affecting it. And I think he’s learning how to balance his love life and work life right now and just letting things happen and trying to take care of his body and mind.

3. What is he like in a relationship Tobaira of the waters 37 reversed, The glanconer 62 reversed, mother of dawn, knight of pentacles, flashover 11, 6 of swords reversed, addiction 11, envious gluttony 9, is this me? 4

When Jungkook is in a relationship he doesn’t fully feel like he can be emotionally vulnerable and instead will act mischievous and play around to hide behind vulnerability. It can tend to make the other person mad because they never know when he’ll actually be serious because he plays too much sometimes. There’s also playing up to peoples ideas of him. It’s not outwardly tricking people but allowing them to believe what they want and project their fantasies on him. It’s like a weird energy of wanting to rebel but also you feel stuck and want to please them so you don’t let them down. I think he overthinks legit everything and makes things a bigger deal in his mind than what it really is.

Another thing is he could have a tendency to stay with someone even if it’s toxic because of a mix of remembering the good times and also insecurities. There are big vibes of being emotionally stunted like I feel that he’s mentally a teenager still and even though he’s physically different and projects something different. When he’s in a relationship; he still feels like that insecure kid in his head and he can’t escape it. It’s like a false bravado thing going on. There’s a hole that leads to darkness and from that another one that leads to even more darkness. That's dramatic but that’s what it’s like for him. It’s like this emotionally starved monster in his head but in reality the monster is this scrawny young boy who wants to let go and open up but is blocked by himself and running away from his shadow aspects. I do see him though slowly moving towards becoming more open, honest allowing his vulnerable and passionate side out in a healthier way but it might take a while (unless he’s already been working on this) since the knight of pentacles is the slowest knight but he’s also the most stable and loyal.

4. What is his "type" the sage 19 reversed, knight of cups reversed, Jeanne the maid, golden empress, the lovers reversed, 3 of cups reversed 

His ideal type is someone who can come across as aloof, cold, excessively critical. Hey I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt but when I pulled a clarifier I got the knight of cups reversed lolll. Dude likes toxic people apparently. On the surface they might look “normal” but on the inside their inner world is overflowing and they have an abundance of charisma and sexual energy. Honestly that could be a big reason why he likes that. There’s a big dualistic energy in them and appearing the best on surface level but underneath is really unpredictable and has the energy of unrequited love. I think he likes those types of people who don’t fawn over him like he’s the second coming of Jesus tbh. This person doesn’t give 2 fucks and they don’t tell everything up front they’re mysterious and it’s more of a challenge for him. They’re really good at appearing humble and maybe innocent even but that’s just because they know how to woo people really. They’re confident and can convince people of almost anything especially around those in power they know how to present their best self to get what they want.

At first I was confused why your ideal type would be someone that seems manipulative af but it makes sense when Jungkook has a lot of deep dark shit he needs to work on from the other cards. I think it’s a big codependency thing and excitement that someone toxic can bring also the fact that this person is down for anything in the bedroom they’re not ashamed or shy about it. His idea of love is pretty distorted he thinks he needs someone who is as intense as he is but really it would be a bad combination especially with the lovers reversed. I’m getting especially that as long as he keeps going after these types of people, he’s never going to be with his “true love” for a lack of a better term. Basically not be with someone who is actually good for him. There could be third party bs but I’m getting more of an overindulged and addiction energy between both of them. Even if he knows they’re no good it’s just so intoxicating it’s like a damn drug to him and it feeds into his more animalistic side (I have no idea how to articulate this lmao) it’s like possessive nature. This reminds me a lot of the attachment types since there’s a lot of people like this who love a more avoidant person and I feel that Jungkook is probably avoidant himself so this is like home sweet home to him. It puts him in the cat chasing mouse position instead of the other way around. That emotionally unavailable energy is very appealing to a lot of people I guess especially when you’re used to everyone bending over backwards for you.

5. What is his love language: Ta’Om the poet 29 reversed, the bodacious Bodach 59 reversed 

He likes when someone actually does helpful things for him that is useful and not like the annoying meddling energy of just doing stuff for him that he doesn’t want you to do. He also does this for others. So acts of service mostly but you already knew that.

[gunsatthaphan]

I agree with everyone else tbh... it gets very disturbing which is why I have a hard time following some BL content creators or fans because.. some take it so so far. When people sent Gun death threats because they thought he was the reason Toey and his bf broke up. People getting mad at Saint for acting Zee instead of Perth (Which is just wrong on another level because after what happened in 2018... Y'all just forgot about that??) Or when Max said he had a girlfriend and people were trying to find out who his gf was so they could doxx her because they only wanted Max and Tul to be together and the very disturbing going on with Sam and Yu too...

Some people get so obsessed with the fan service and shipping the actors like they fail to acknowledge that the actors are people themselves and they are much more than the characters they play in shows. One of my friends is scared to come out because they're afraid to be fetishized, and its so sad. The level of possesiveness some of these people have is so so scary. Personally i find it okay to think a moment between the actors is cute! For example, they hug (idk) "Aww, that's cute! You can see they're close" or

they're holding hands "Aww, they're holding hands. They obviously feel comfortable with each other to do that! Cute!" And then we should leave it at that... It's a scary world knowing that 2 males can't just be close friends without being heavily shipped or having the fear that people close to them will get threats...

And yes Thailand needs to cut the shit with the fanservice because they take it seriously. They encourage people to ship the actors together, and honestly I would feel traumatized if I as stuck in that position of choosing between to be myself or keep my fans happy..

Hi Jason and thank you for sharing!! I agree with everything. 

This whole debacle is why I not only rarely follow any bl fans to begin with but also some actors. And I know they’re the victims and obvs this doesn’t apply to every (bl-) actor but the invasive things that some people do (like the ones you listed) is off the charts and it ruins the experience of watching these shows for me. Which is so dumb because there’s not even a correlation??? But people just can’t stfu and can’t separate fiction from reality and that just ruins it for me. So I mostly stay away from the actor’s sm accounts too. 

And I agree, I like seeing actors/actresses be close with each other; it shows that they have a good connection and work well together and that’s just nice to see. But I also could not handle being in such a position FOR SURE lmao. I think I would be corrupted for life lol. 

xxx

[bisexualhobi]

This is more of a confession but if PTD is in Eng I will question BTS entirely. Idk if it's hybe making them do this or bts themselves since TXT released an English single too. It's crazy how they're proving those shit rappers from 2013 who said they'll become eye-pleasing sellouts. They know it's only with an English single they'll continuously hit BB1's and grammys while LGO free-falled from the charts after the first week. In 2018 they talked about how they would never release an English album, subtly added they would never change their music just to get awards/recognition and theyre doing the exact same thing.

Armys could argue other kpop groups release Eng music too but at least their intentions are clear. They don't masquerade in underdog 'I'm different from kpop' personas telling their fans they only care about their music and the stories they convey through it to pull up with all-white written songs with generic lyrics.

Yes theyve released black-swan, LGO and more but that doesn't hide the fact they're using this to get awards because apparently now making and spreading their raw, korean music to revolutionize the western industry (as they said so) doesnt matter anymore and instead making money and getting fat awards mean more. There's nothing too wrong with it, it just shows what they're like now and armys really should accept that instead of spreading false agenda's on how PTD is the second coming of shakespear and thinking BTS are organic. Fr, even Lee Sooman doesn't do that to his groups. He gives NCT and EXO-no matter how popular in the west-the strangest, most unique sounds without giving a shit about what would break into the west even if he does obsess over breaking into the west. That's more of what spreading kpop to the west sounds like.

It's so sickening how armys dont swallow the truth and how they skirt around the edges. How NO criticism of BTS's music is allowed. If I say this on twt I would be doxxed in seconds.

dude how do you think i feel getting these sort of msgs all the time like i'm kinda worried twt would find me and fucking dox me because it's not the first time i get twt armys sending death threats in my inbox 😭 i'm glad you got this out of your chest you'de be surprised how many asks like this i get and from armys who've been in the fandom FOR YEARS. 2015 and before.

the fact that they're too scared to voice their opinions is fucking ridiculous and yall have a safe space for venting here in my blog. if someone doxxes me i just ask hat u donate to my lawyer fund lmao

[potentially-lemongrass]

hey! um i wanted to ask a bi queerstake member whose dated about this, um I want to marry in the temple and I know that means I'll have to marry a AMAB person, is it bad that I want a nb/nb aligned masc person or at least a bisexual or asexual partner? i feel like i wont find someone like that, I just want someone who understands and is also queer but also fits kind of with the church narrative. is that weird? you dont have to answer this I just wanted to ask since no one talks about it i guess

honestly my perspective on dating has changed a lot since meeting B so I might say something completely different to what I was saying in previous months. (and of course, as always, this is just Ryn’s Opinion TM so take what you will). Also, looong post incoming as this is also a bit of a life update/journal entry since it’s been a while. I’m using B to respect his privacy and as always, I know that i’m super personal on here but please don’t try to doxx me or find out more than I’m willing to share <3 I’m slightly paranoid so I feel like I always need to say that. 

ANYWAY, I am still decidedly bisexual ✌ and so I’ll fight against bi erasure all day long since I’m a cis woman dating a cishet man. I will never be a straight woman and B totally understands and respects that. However, it also doesn’t exactly matter?? since I’ve chosen him so I’m not dating any men OR women.

Before meeting him, I was thinking about dating in the abstract especially since I really never had a serious relationship with anyone. I was fantasizing about dating girls and feeling deeply cheated that the Church was robbing me of that opportunity. I was angry, deeply depressed, and just generally not in a good mental place.

Coming to college was when I decided I wasn’t mentally going to “do” Church anymore. I skipped a few Sundays, and still signed up for Institute but I was angry and very determined to distance myself from the Church. I had to know if I even wanted to do this with my life and part of my master plan was getting a girlfriend. (although with the caveat that dating a girl, *just* to date a girl and not a guy, isn’t the best plan and I should have been more focused on romance)

I didn’t expect to meet B and when I did, I was deeply worried about getting a man who was “Peter Priesthood” and I would never be able to share my queer identity with him. B isn’t at all like that. He spent enough time around the queer kids in high school to really get a feel for the struggle and he’s never ever made me feel weird about it. He’s even encouraged and asked me to talk about it so I didn’t feel like I had to hide anything.

I came to two conclusions (well, maybe two and a half). 1) I’m definitely bisexual. Over the summer, I had briefly wondered if I was a lesbian and comp het was just taking its toll. Nope. Men are hot and my bf is absolutely a snack. So if anyone is looking for advice about figuring out sexuality, just try dating someone. I totally believe that you can know your sexuality without experience but it most definitely helps if you know what you’re talking about.

2) I missed church. I hadn’t realized it until I walked away but I truly do have a testimony and I longed for the presence of the Spirit in my life. So I chose to turn back. I read my scriptures and prayed sincerely and listened at church. No, I’m not entirely happy with the Church. There are things that make me cry and cringe and grit my teeth, but I have decided that I want to be here.

Part of that realization was B. My friend asked me if I could see myself getting married in the temple and I realized suddenly that I could. Suddenly it wasn’t a faceless man dragging me into a suburban life of mommy minivans and LDS conformity. It was the thought of B and I, holding hands and promising each other forever in the most eternal sense and it was me, making covenants with Heavenly Father. He and I both know that I’ve always had real joy in my life when I was doing my best to keep His commandments.

What I really needed was to accept my queer identity and feel like I could date girls if I wanted to. Finding B and finding my testimony were linked, as wild it is to say.

Not to say that that road would be easy. I’m not even close to being ready for marriage. B and I are figuring things out, both between us and with the Church. If faith was neat and simple, it wouldn’t be such an enduring theme throughout all of history.

 But maybe sometime in the next 5 years? Maybe in 2-3 years? I might be Mrs. Lemongrass. (pffft yes we’ll assume we’re taking my tumblr url as a last name lmao)

SO now you’re wondering about how that applies to your actual question. There will definitely be people in the Church who match what you’re looking for. My philosophy is that there really is someone out there for everyone. You’re trying to forecast for the future which is great and necessary but love doesn’t happen in the abstract. A Relationship TM isn’t some nebulous concept or a copy and paste letter. It’s what happens when you and a specific other person like each other a whole lot and it goes from there. Your relationship won’t look like mine or your parents or anyone else’s because you and your future partner are unique people.

So you totally may find someone in the Church who is queer and down for a temple marriage. Keep in mind as well that you may also find someone in the Church who is cishet and that works too. Just because someone isn’t queer doesn’t mean they can’t understand--assuming no one will ever understand you has always felt arrogant and dismissive of the power of empathy imho--so a cishet guy could be just as amazing.

So there’s no need to feel bad about wanting a specific type of person but don’t close yourself off! Enjoy the journey and put yourself out there with confidence. No one is good at relationships; they’re inherently awkward. You’ll say dumb stuff or fart in front of them or they’ll overshare and you’ll panic. Just trust the process, laugh at yourself, and realize the only thing you can really do is live in *this* moment. I hope this doesn’t sound condescending at all! This is just all my big sister advice that I can think of. Remember that you are loved, always, always, always by our Heavenly Parents and They’ll help you figure stuff out.

[callingallcars]

Emma there's currently a thing going around right now from 4chan called # operation pridefall and it's a bunch of asshats who plan on doxxing and harassing lgbtqia people on the internet on all social media for pride month . And I hope to God they don't come to tumblr or come after you cause you've faced enough bigotry for being ace and nb. So I recommend for the next month all of us to hide our pronouns and anything that might indicate we are lgbtqia in our bio. Love you lots and stay safe

i have a lot of opinions on this so pls brace urself for a longass answer.

some people are saying its fake, some are saying it isnt. theres a lot of confusion. as a queer person whos been on the internet for a while ive seen stuff like this almost every year on or around pride, just trying to scare lgbtq+ folks off the internet. By all means, if anyone, especially young queer folk, want to do stuff to hide their identity to feel safe i have no qualms with that, absolutely protect yourself. But like if these 4chan idiots really wanted to doxx us they just could whenever, like it already happens sometimes. I have a feeling theyre just trying to rip the community apart during pride month since theres no “outside” community during the pandemic by causing us to panic and hide.

The best advice i can give is protect urself however u want and take care of urself, but dont let these assholes tear the online community apart, because trolls pretending to be lgbtq+ on the internet just to start shit already exist, but just drown them out with being nice to each other. Also personally ive been on international news at least once this year for protests, and ive talked about it on all my platforms, so like i’m already out there, people on the internet already know where i go to school and where i live; hiding my pronouns from my bio, in my opinion, just furthers what they’re trying to do without them even putting in the effort: it just invalidates me and causes me as a queer person to hide.

I will say that being in a fairly liberal canadian city i do have the privilege of feeling safer than some, and if people dont feel safe by all means do what u think is necessary to protect urself, im just saying ive seen this shit before and the biggest issue ive found is trolls trying to cause inner community fighting. if someone on the internet wants to say i don’t belong in the lgbtq+ community bc im ace they can simply catch these blocking hands and consider themselves reported, just like i do literally every other day anyways.

i love u and really appreciate ur concern, and i hope nothing happens to us during pride month (or ever lmao), but i personally am gonna stay very openly queer and lgbtq+ positive, even if its just a small safe space for other people, during june.

Thanks hon and Happy almost Pride

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[carpedzem]

Hi! apologies if this is weird or anything, feel free to not answer!! i think that if I'm right, you're Polish

I'm probably going to be moving to Poland to teach for 8 months next year and have a choice of places to go including Warsaw, Kraków, Wrocław, Poznań, as well as a few smaller towns.

do you, or any other polish blogs, have any recommendations for cities or places to stay or visit, or just any advice/tips for living in Poland at all?

I've never visited and am a little unsure of where to go so any advice would be great, but obv no pressure!

very very happy to come off anon or dm/message if that'd be any easier and obv I'm not trying to doxx or anything so if you'd rather not say anything I'd completely 100% understand :)

(also btw you always have very based lore opinions and I love reading your analysis!)

hi anon! first of all it's perfectly okay to dm me! dont mind me answering in random moments tho im really busy this month :( nevertheless putting some answers under the cut :]

i'm for a big city! i would recommend moving in here because in general it provides a better living standards, for example public transport can take you anywhere and it's relevantly cheep, you have all kinds of things to spend free time - including museums, art galleries, clubs, etc. but general living cost is higher! it also depends on from where you are - if your currency right now is dollar, euro or pounds you will probably win living anywhere at this moment LMAO since inflation is crushing our currency

also in big city the chances that other people speak english are also way higher, especially among older folks - not saying that small cities citizens are lacking in educations, they just need using english less and tend to forget it!

i can recommend my city from the bottom of my heart bc i love it so so much. of course it's not perfect, but it's lovely and full of life. and i feel relatively safe here

about things you can see... gods there is so much to see in poland. list is soooo long

i keep thinking about things i could tell you and its a lot lmao sorry you meet someone who really likes history and know things asdhasdh so yeah feel free to ask about anything :D

[ardentlythieving]

Heyyyy everybody welcome back to the rambling with Ardent show coz yet again I’ve been having thoughts and typing them out helps me process them so here they are. As always if u rebagel i kill you but like,,,, not today or tomorrow just one day...... ummm putting this one under a cut and like tw: abuse coz im gonna be talking quite heavily about that hhhhh.

Hi, I’m Ardent and I’m an introvert. “But Ardent you act like the LEAST introverted person I know”. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa buckle up peeps coz all will be explained... eventually. This one is gonna be a long one.

Ok so I’m not 100% on where to take this one so it might be kinda messy, but y’all can just deal yea coz that’s what my brain is like All The Time. Anyways. I guess it started when I was REALLY young. Not the abuse itself, that’ll tie in later but. Fun Ardent Fax number 67: I was homeschooled until I was about 9. And here’s a free secret from me: homeschooling + adhd = a 9y/o who doesn’t reallly know how to relate to other ppl. Hella shy, hella nervous, bad at making friends. Got bullied quite a bit, it was whatever. Safe to say I was a pretty Lonely Kid. This isn’t part of the abuse, but it did set me up for it I guess. Like, it made me vulnerable in a specific way that someone could, and did, exploit.

When I was 12 was when I met her. She has quite a unique name and despite what she did to me I don’t wanna doxx her so imma call her NJB for nutjob bitch because I can be nasty if I want to and right now I want to. Shut up, this is my post not urs. Anyways, we were in the same class, we were both cut off from any other friends we had at that point due to them being in different classes and we kinda.. fell in together. Around this point was also when my mom got diagnosed with cancer, which will become relevant later. Back to the story. So for about a year, maybe a little longer everything was great. We got really close really quickly. She was probably my first Real Best Friend since I started school. Now the year before I HAD made some friends, but like I said, they all got put in other classes. And I was so friggin scared of going back to being that lonely that I got real close to her real fast. 

Then we started high school/college/whatever you wanna call it. And that was the point where things got.... weird. NJB started lying. About a ton of shit. And it was stuff that I KNEW was bullshit, but if I didn’t take her seriously enough she got pissy at me. And then like a week later wow, lie no longer relevant, wonder why that is??? Lmao. Now at this point there were other people in our group of friends. Who had all joined the group through NJB. This should’ve been a MASSIVE red flag, but I was like 13 or 14, so I didn’t pick up on it. Basically anyone else I wanted to hang out with, she wasn’t interested in getting to know. And if I hung out with other ppl and tried to become friends with them she started getting very pissy about that. And like... she was my Best Friend and these were people with Friend Potential and I didn’t wanna be lonely again so it was really no contest. 

And at this point she got bored of general lies and started lying about ME. Everything would be fine for a while and then she’d be like “why did you do/say this?” And it was something that NEVER happened. And sometimes she wouldn’t even explicitly say what I supposedly did, she’d just tell me that “I know what I did” (no i dont coz it never happened) and then she’d call me an ugly bitch or whatever. I could apologise or I could try and remind her that it never happened or I could just say nothing and take it and it didn’t matter. She wouldn’t talk to me, she’d stop our other friends from talking to me, and I would just be isolated for a while. A couple of times she threatened to beat me up, although she never actually did. 

And then she’d be all “I forgive you” or she wouldn’t even do that she’d just act like it never happened and was all ready to be friends again and I didn’t HAVE anyone else and I hated hated hated being so LONELY and would’ve done anything to stop. And I think there was also a bit of me that was scared of what she would do if I said no. So I’d go back to being her friend and everything would be great and fun and wonderful for a while and then it would happen again. And again. And again. For about a year.

Then my mom died. And I took a month off school. And two weeks after I got back, she did it again. Yeah. My mom had been dead 6 weeks and she decided this was the perfect time to make up lies about the depressed girl. I lost it. I literally threw myself at her. I got pulled off her and just kept trying to kick her, but I couldn’t and I was sent out of class. Didn’t get in trouble for it, but I got to spend that class sitting in the library reading and it was the only class I had with her so... probably for the best lmao. And on the very last day of school for the year she came up to me and acted like nothing had happened and I was so relieved to not have to be alone anymore and that she’d forgiven me for attacking her that I just.... went along with it. For another year or two. And then I finally had other friends and one day she started one of those lies that weren’t about me, but I was supposed to be ultra sympathetic to and I just. Walked away. 

And then the abuse itself was over, but the trauma was still there. And I repressed it so fuckin deep I only really remembered this shit all happened about a month ago. I got scared right, like deep down all the way inside me, of being that dependent on one person ever again that I would let them treat me like that because being alone was worse. And that was the point when I became an extrovert. I forced myself into that role of talking to as many disconnected people as possible and having as many different groups as possible because it was the only way I felt safe. Because she didn’t start that shit until at least a year into our friendship, so how tf was I supposed to believe that the new people in my life would 100% never hurt me like that? I still don’t know how. So I coped the only way I could: by making sure that even if someone DID pull that shit and cut me off from a group of friends I had other options. 

It also meant I have... issues dealing with loss. Because I DID have one other friend for the first year that was going on. And then she moved to Australia and I was totally alone. So I guess I started associating losing friends with becoming dependent on one person again, which ironically enough made me more and more dependent on anyone I thought I was losing. That’s one I’m working through. Now that I’ve realized it’s what’s going on I can actually start addressing it and tbh I feel so much better now I am. Still don’t know how to deal with the whole “im forcing myself to act like an extrovert even when it exhausts me coz it’s the only way i feel safe”, but it’s whatever. I’m on meds now and I have a good support network and I’ve started therapy. One day I’ll figure it out. I’ve been living like this for this long, I can keep it up until I reach somewhere better.

And I guess that’s my sign off reminder. Whatever you’re going through, you’ve survived it this long. You can keep surviving until you reach somewhere better. One day we’ll all get to be a person we’re happy with, we just gotta hold on and work to it together. Ardently, signing out.

[official-semiramis]

time for some nice anons from You Know Whooo

i gotta say these are all particularly juicy, even coming from her herself! let’s start with this welcoming triple

I’d like to take a moment to just appreciate the one in the middle, personally. You’d think a person wouldn’t be dumb enough to say ‘’im not awful im right’’  and then admit they’re threatening to doxx you right after yet here we are!! I truly am, at this very moment, shitting my pants.

(context required for this one ask: -havoc is my cat -evelyne is my gf) This ask is very vague, in fact, you couldnt have been more vague; it would have maybe been more effective if you actually made a point or two. You’re right about the Havoc part though, this is the face of a disappointed cat 

Now this one is funny because it’s not as extensive as some others but it’s possibly more of a mess. I’ll try to do my best to comment each piece of whatever this is 1-yes i do hate you for being an awful person, yes i’m lazy and occasionally hate myself. death penalty? you’re really grasping at straw here by stating the obvious lmao 2-i think you got this all wrong, i’m not trying to ‘’make you look bad’’, im merely showing people the shit you do/say so really, your actions speak for themselves and i dont even have to try and do that!  3-a certain degree of smugness is due when dealing with someone as ridiculously obsessed with you, honestly. Even if just to lighten the mood 4-im not gonna comment on the just like every man bit because of how out place it is like girl where are you even pulling that from, you’re just trying to get brownie points at this point 5-lastly, there’s a lot more stuff i could do to feed my ego and i sincerely don’t see how any of this how contribute to that, i’m just spreading awareness so that people wont have to deal with you toxic ass, that’s all

Now before i comment this i’d like to give you a tip: when you make an accusation pulled out of your ass like this and use the word ‘’hypocritical’’ it really reeks of projecting, jsyk If by ‘’pressuring you’’ you mean trying to help your hopeless abusive ass to grow out of your own bad manipulative habits and failing, then yeah im guilty Not really sure how you can state so firmly i haven’t made any ‘’progress’’ but you sure sound professional. I still wont pay you for your services though

If we’re dealing with her we couldnt possibly NOT get the topical sexually themed ask. We just Could Not. Frankly i don’t think i even need to personally comment on this, just the fact that you’d try to make a point out of this kind of stuff speaks for itself. All your asks are 100% ad hominem attacks that i guess in your brain are passed as valid points to bring up in an argument somehow. Go you! totally got me with this one! All the accusations about you backed with proof? Pfft that’s not nothing compared to this. This is the strong stuff Also for someone who’s forgetting aspects of me you’ve listed quite a few in these asks :eyes:

As if all of those weren’t strong points already, she has to go a step further! Her only aim? U t t e r victory I really dont need to explicit how all of these are extremely exaggerated and disrespectful claims to make about a person, again, without proof, since there isn’t, since i’m not the person in question but I’d honestly want to know how you could really say to yourself ‘’Damn, look at this stuff, i’m CLEARLY in the right and such a good person honestly’’ as you typed all of these. I really cant capacitate myself of that. Please do tell me. 

I’d now like to end this with the cherry on the top: this. This arguably the second messiest ask of the bunch imo. What she’s referring to is a poor and half assed attempt to end things on ‘’friendly terms’’ despite: A-her not having done or even tried to do anything to make up for the shit she’s done and B-me having repeated to her multiple times i’d rather not be contacted by her. She straight up ignored all that and tried to reach an agreement completely by herself considering how she blocked me right after sending it, not really giving me a saying in any of it. I still wouldnt have replied but that’s just not how you try to reach an agreement, you couldnt be more one sided. I’d post the message she sent if she didnt keep deleting her blogs weekly as per usual. The next point she made here, I dont think she thought it through too much If she did then she’d realize that i’d only respond to that side of hers because it’s her actual true side. If i dont want to listen to your hurried and half assed apologies where you actually seem level-headed just in hopes you can end things in a way that would keep people from knowing about what you did, it ‘s because it’s bullshit and you dont mean any of that. You only ever show that side when you want things to take a better turn for you so that you can keep on running from your past as you’ve been doing for years. That other ‘’less softer side’’ is what you’re actually thinking, and that’s why i only respond to that, because that’s where you show how you really are. I dont need to remind you that  people only say sorry for things they say when their filter stops working: your apologies only serve to try and erase the awful taste you leave when you say the truth, and they dont work I dont know why you decided to end that ask on a more than uncomfortable note but it’s what i’d expect from you, not actual points, just a bunch of vapid shitty insults Im done commenting this, it turned out way longer than i expected but i think i can safely say these asks perfectly encapsulate your persona: you’re disgusting Sonia

この番組はご覧のスポンサーの提供でお送りします! :

@elfsona

(through one of her many, many sideblogs made for the sole purpose of harrassing me and other people) 

[sapphicsurveys]

Have you ever given a public speech? Fun story -- I got nominated for a Pathfinder award in high school and gave an impromptu speech even though we weren’t supposed to. When was the last time you sat in the back seat of a car? Today. I can’t drive. When was the last time you had a checkup? A few months ago? Have you ever cried in a movie theater? Just a week ago, with Call Me By Your Name...it was absolutely a sensory overload, in a good way... Has a stranger ever stared at you in public? Always. Not in a horny way. In a creeped-out way. Have you ever had anything stolen from you? Not intentionally on their part...as far as I know. Starting in what grade were crayons excluded from your school supply list? High school. Were you heartbroken? No, I’ve always hated colouring (and handwriting) because I have an extremely unsteady hand. When was your last run-in with the police? One of my parents’ driving fuckups.  Are you a good sport or a sore loser? Sore loser. Do you read comic books? No, and never did. Have you ever been so emotional it left people speechless? All the time, the intensity of the things I feel scares people off sometimes. It’s not anger, I’m never angry. It’s like....a bunch of miscellaneous shooting colours and a cool splash of water. That’s how I’d describe my emotions. When was the last time you threw up? Last year. Do you intentionally sing poorly in front of people to avoid a critique? No. I always try. But I always believe I’ve failed afterwards. Do you force your way into conversations in which you are not involved? Too often. What did you/what will you do on your 18th birthday? Went to Cafe Tu Tu Tango and started my failed university experience. When was the last time you had a dream with a premonition in it? A few days ago, but I can’t remember what it was. Did it come true? I think it did? I can’t tell since I don’t remember the original dream. Have you ever seriously pretended to be clinically insane? I HAVE been clinically insane. I might still be. Are there any words you cannot spell correctly, no matter how hard you try? No. Do you know anyone with a stutter? Misha from Armenia!! LMAO it was adorable to watch interviews with him. With a lisp? Nope. Do you doodle more on page borders or on entire pages? Borders. Have you ever been in a newspaper? When I was 3, with this creepy-looking Easter Bunny. Have you ever been on TV? Yes, for a fundraiser event I was at. What was the last board game you played? Monopoly. Did you win? That game has no end in sight. When was the last time you tried to speak with an accent? Sometimes I do it for fun to see if people can tell if I’m faking it. What was the accent? An ambiguous one. Have you ever made up a word before? Yes. Did you get anyone else to use it? Don’t think so. Are all 4 of your biological grandparents alive? Only my maternal grandma, and I’d never met any of the other 3. What is/was your GPA? 3.0 in high school, TBA for first semester of college. When was the last time you used a flashlight? During the hurricane. When was the last time you went to a museum? It was either an art museum down here with my grandma or the Gugenheim in NY with my mom. Do you have anything from IKEA in your room? Nope. If you were watching TV now instead of doing this, what would you watch? TLC, they have the funnest, dumbest reality shows. Or truTV for Impractical Jokers. When was the last time you played MASH? Elementary school. *** You live in a capital city. You live in an apartment. You live with a roommate.  You drive your own car. You know how to ride a motorbike. You have a motorbike license. You’ve crashed a car. You’ve crashed a motorbike. You are twenty years old. You have half-siblings. You’ve been cheated on. You don’t want a relationship right now. You’ve broken bones in your face. You’ve had stitches. You don’t wear a lot of colours. You never wear open-toed shoes. You prefer shopping in person so you can try clothes on. You buy most of your clothes online for convenience. One of your favourite vegetables is broccoli. One of your favourite fruits is pear. You’ve volunteered for a concert or festival. You aren’t too good at drawing or painting. You are good at colouring, though. You always seem to have cuts on your hands. You almost always have two jobs. You’ve had a lot of jobs throughout your life. You love superheroes. Daredevil is your favourite Marvel superhero. You think Marvel is better than DC.  You watch a lot of movies and TV shows. You’ve been high on marijuana, but you don’t like it. You feel that drumming is what you were born to do. You live in a place where light pollution prevents you from seeing stars. You had head lice several times when you were a kid. You hated gym class in school, but like being active. You get bored very quickly if you don’t have anything to keep you occupied. You know how to edit and master music tracks. You eat more meatless meals than meat ones. (but I LOVE meat) Dark chocolate is your kryptonite. You collect keychains. You want to earn a Bachelor’s degree.  You often have issues with your back. You find yourself daydreaming about random stuff a lot. You smoke and wish you could quit once and for all. Your smoking habits have pissed off people you love and care about. You have a pet dog. You really value your sleep and can sleep for long periods at a time. You are good at keeping track of things in your own head. You’re proud of your own achievements. You live a comfortable life and you’re happy. *** Have you ever felt like you were being crushed by an invisible weight?: 24/7, although it’s not really invisible, because I know what’s causing it. Have you ever looked back and realized that it’s been ages since you cried?: No, I cry on a weekly basis. Do you ever wish you could go back to kindergarten?: Never. I would never turn back time. Do you have a ‘good side’?: Yes. Would you rather spend your whole life in the light, or in the dark?: In the dark, as long as I could see somehow. Like, in nighttime. Basically I’d rather have all night and no day. Do you have a good luck charm?: My online bestie. Has anyone ever sang to you, just for you?: Yes. What’s the longest phone conversation you’ve ever had?: *puke emoji* Is there anyone that you have trouble saying goodbye to?: Yes. Do your friends like the person you’re dating/crushing on?: I have a crush on everyone in the world. Do you care if your parents approve of the people you date?: It would be awkward if they didn’t, but it’s not a dealbreaker. If asked to pick a number between one and five, what number would you pick?: The previous person’s answer biased me, so I can’t answer this one. Do you use Skype to talk to your friends?: Only iTalki language partners. In your opinion is calling easier than texting?: It’s easier. I hate calling just to talk, but I prefer calling if I need to say or hear something important. I will hang up right after hearing what I need to hear. Name all the people you’ve hugged today: Mom. Is there anything that you want to say right now to someone?: I’ve already said my piece to everyone I can think of. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?: It would be the same, LOL. Please don’t make me marry my parent. *puke emoji [2]* About how many times a day do you use the backspace button?: A million times. Actually, I used it just now. I make a lot of typos because I rush my typing. Are you allergic to any animals?: Cats, a little bit. Do you know anyone who smokes?: Yes, a lot of my mom’s friends. Do you usually spend your weekends out, or at home?: Out to dinner. Do you miss anyone right now?: Yes! How far away is your next birthday?: About 7 months away. Have you ever felt completely lost?: Yes, but then I always found my way back around again. What’s the stupidest question anyone could ever ask you?: There are an endless amount of those. Do you think it’s wrong for people to say 'retard/retarded’ as an insult?: Yes. What swear word do you use most often?: "Fucking” as an adjective, probably. Have you ever had to go to the police department?: Thankfully not. Have you ever lived through a hurricane?: I live in Florida. What do you think? Have you ever wished you could disappear?: Yes. Can you name all the candidates in the previous presidential election?: Yes. Do you eat organic foods?: Sure, but I don’t consciously think about it. Have you ever had a home grown tomato?: No. Have you ever held a real gun?: No. Would you rather wear Converse or Vans?: I don’t care what brand my sneakers are, as long as they fit nicely. Is there a song that reminds you of someone?: Of course. Have you ever been called bipolar?: I actually am bipolar. Bipolar 2. Do you think Facebook can be safe if you’re smart about what you post?: No. I’m addicted to Facebook and it’s destructive for me. But even for people who rarely use it, there are always dangers that someone will doxx you or try to get your account reported. Have you ever made fun of a handicapped person?: No. Do you think it’s okay to have sex before marriage?: Obviously. But if you’re straight, you should really use protection as long as you don’t want a baby. What are your views on abortion?: Undecided. Have you ever liked a book that you had to read for school?: The Great Gatsby was outstanding. Do you have any mosquito bites?: Again: I live in Florida. What do you think? Have you pulled an all-nighter in the last week?: No. Are there posters on your walls?: So many. Do you play any video games?: No. Have you ever been called a wimp?: Does anyone actually use that insult? When was the last time you made fun of someone else?: I never make fun of people for things they can’t help. Have you ever been jealous?: 24/7. Do you like to watch old sitcoms?: No. They depress me. Are there actually books on your bookshelf?: A bunch of old ones from when I was a kid. Have you ever tried any kind of diet?: For, like, a week. LOL. Could you go out in public wearing what you are now?: Yeah, I’m still wearing my clothes from class. If asked, could you run a mile nonstop right now?: Never. Do you follow a daily routine?: I’ve just started one recently. Do you have to plan your days out meticulously or are you spontaneous?: I like to be spontaneous, but at the same time I’m obsessed with order and structure. Both... Are you allowed to go over to the opposite sex’s house?: LOL. Do you think people’s idea of a 'date’ has changed over the years?: I think back in the day, it was more common for people to fuck on a first date. Nowadays, there’s a whole game to the dating scene. Have you ever given someone a friendship bracelet?: When I was in elementary school. Do you wear those rubber wristbands?: No. How does your behavior around adults differ from around friends?: I’m an adult. If a necklace/ring gives you green marks, do you still wear it?: I don’t wear jewelry at all, anyway. Do you have public display of affection issues, or do you not care?: I'm a hypocrite. I love partaking in PDA, but I hate to see anyone else doing it. How soon is too soon to kiss a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Never. Just do it when it feels right. It’s just a kiss, after all. Do you hate it when people try to pressure you into doing something?: Yes. What instrument do you play, if any?: None. I used to be able to play a bit of the piano and flute. Has anyone ever taken your breath away?: In the literal sense, only things like music and films have done that to me. Do you like to walk around town, or would you rather take a car?: Walk, listen to music, feel the nature, and watch the scenery, so long as the weather outside is nice, or at least bearable. Does time usually pass by too fast for you?: Too fast and too slow. What’s the sweetest thing the gender of your choice could ever do for you?: Be spontaneous with me. Do you think it’s mean for people to use 'gay’ as an insult?: Yes. Is there anyone that you’d drop everything to go see?: Yes. Have you comforted anyone lately?: Yes. *** 01. How often do you walk around barefoot? 24/7 so long as I’m in the house. 02. When you eat take-out, do you just eat it out of the containers provided? I prefer that to plates, I like eating out of and with plastic things because there’s no germs or residue. 03. How do you prefer to travel? Plane, train, driving? Plane, because I have big dreams of the places I want to see. 04. Would you need to sleep with someone before considering marrying them? Definitely. 05. How often do you make your bed? There’s no point if you’re just going to mess it up again. 07. Do you carry condoms? I’m a lesbian, so I don’t really need them. 08. Would you date someone who has a hearing aid? Yes! 09. If you were to be stuck on a deserted tropical island, how big would you like the island to be? Big, but not too big where it feels like an abyss. 10. How organized are the files on your computer? Disorganized. 11. Have you ever been to a strip club? It’s on my bucket list. 12. Have you ever brought home a stray animal? No, but it’s always been a dream of mine. I want to help all the cute animals. 13. Did you have a childhood hero? Were they real or fictional? Hero? Don’t think so. 14. If you are put on hold and the music playing is a song you know, do you sing along? It is always elevator music. 15. Are you physically strong? More than I thought before. 16. Would you date someone with braces? No, it would cause too much tearing with physical contact. 17. Does scuba diving interest you? No. 18. Would you ever ask your parents for relationship advice? I have, but I feel gross doing it. 19. Do you think people look up to you? People tell me they do, but I don’t believe them. 20. How often do you have trouble sleeping at night? Never. I fall right asleep like a baby. 21. Can you drive a manual transmission? I can’t drive at all. 22. Have you ever re-gifted a gift you didn’t care for? My mom did it for me when I was little. Now that I’m older I appreciate every gift I receive. 23. Do you ever rehearse conversations before you have them? If it’s with someone I have a crush on. 24. You notice someone staring intently at you, what do you do? Stare right back at them, and make it somewhat of a contest. 25. Do you blush easily? Yes!! 26. Do you get angry at yourself or at others more often? Myself! I seldom get angry at others but I’m one of the people who is most hard on themselves in the world, I think. 27. Can you name five current world leaders? Yes. 28. When taking a cab, do you talk to the driver? I’ve taken an Uber twice. I didn’t want to, but they both initiated conversation, so I went along with it. 29. Do you like word games like Scrabble or Boggle? I love words, so yes. 30. Would you consider dating a psychiatrist or psychologist? Sure, but only if they are actually good in their field. I don’t want someone to try explaining all my behaviors in our relationship if they don’t know the first thing about how brains actually work. *** What is the current advertisement above?: There is none. Have you ever played tic tac toe on your arm in sharpie?: No. Has one of your friends ever tried to ‘hook you up?’: We’ve joked about it, but it never came to fruition. Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions?: Landmarks. Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books?: Not if it’s assigned reading. I know, it should be the other way around. Don’t bug bites make you sad?: They could be easily prevented, if my parents just listened to me and didn’t leave the front door open when they’re in the middle of something. Does your house have more than one fireplace?: It doesn’t have any. I repeat: I live in Florida. Would you say that you’re better in Math or English?: English, of course. What was your favourite gym class moment?: None. Have you ever watched The Mask Of Zorro?: Nope. If I were to give you a pet camel, what would you name it?: Todd. Do you think that ocean boardwalks are fun?: They’re gorgeous and wonderful and everything good in the world. When it rains does it leave a lake in your front yard?: Nope. What colour is your music device?: It’s my phone, and it’s either gold or rose gold, I can’t remember/tell. Your opinion on all of the new Disney/Nick stars with upcoming CDs?: Let me just say, Andi Mack is an amazing show! Okay, that’s it. Would you please make me some food?: I only know how to make a few things. Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks?: That was such a fun activity, I always wrote something cheeky. Does Harry Potter eat chicken nuggets?: No, they only have the highest quality of cuisine at Hogwarts. Does your mum watch Judge Judy too much?: That reminds me, she just got recruited for Jury Duty, LOL. Where is one place that you’d never be caught dead in?: A lingerie shop. Apple Jacks; Yay or nay?: I like cereal that’s actually cereal, not candy. Have you ever watched the movie Driving Lessons?: Never heard of it. Favourite candle scent?: I like all, except the fresh laundry and beach ones. Coke or Pepsi brand sodas?: Coke, is that even a question? If you could live in a world of your own, would you make everything madness?: The world we live in right now is utter madness. Do you have a favourite Scooby-Doo movie?: No. Have you ever been invited to a clam bake?: WTF?? Do storms frequently knock out your power?: Sometimes. Do you enjoy taking polls?: Yep! Do you dislike when people ruin the endings of anything for you?: Depends on how much I care about the series/movie that I’m going to watch. Do you think it’s cute when toddlers try to run away and fall down?: Toddlers and babies are gross, not cute. Have you ever eaten a penny?: ???? What is the last cartoon that you have watched?: Bojack Horseman...I THINK. Have you ever played Disc Golf or Ultimate Frisbee?: No. Cheez-its; yay or nay?: YAY! What is your favourite flavour of PopTart?: S’mores. Do you tan easily in the summertime?: No, I burn. Have you ever been to a funeral?: Yes, but I barely knew the guy, even though he was a family member. Do you enjoy listening to your grandparents tell stories of their past?: Yes, my grandma has some nice stories. Currently, what is going on around you?: I am listening to a white noise track on YouTube, because it’s the only way I can concentrate on anything. Can you read a compass well?: Not at all. If platypuses weren’t poisonous, would you have one for a pet?: No. *** do you ever wish you could just go to sleep and never wake up? Dying in my sleep is one of my biggest fears. do you want to have any children? if so, how many? Never. how many piercings have you had in your life all together? Ear piercings, but I made them close up. how many do you have now? Zero. do you have a problem with bisexual, gay, or bicurious people? I’m a lez myself. do you use hearts like this <3 a lot? Yep! <3 what were you doing at 12 AM? Filling out this survey, it’s been taking me so long, but I’m enjoying every minute of it. do you like where you live? Yes, but I’d hate to live here forever. how’s your sister? I have two half-sisters, but I never see them. is anyone over protective of you? My mom!!! have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something? I don’t recall. what color is your toothbrush? Multicoloured.  is there someone who meant a lot to you at one point, and isn’t around now? Yes. what do you do when you’re having a bad day? Try to sleep, but then my thoughts are too distracting, so I take a walk. where is your mother right now? Sleeping. when was the last time you cried really hard? Seeing Call Me By Your Name in theatres. let’s test your memory, what were you doing at this exact moment a year ago? What a whack question. do you smoke weed everyday? I’ve only smoked it once, and I don’t plan on smoking it again. if the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose? Spring. have you ever liked someone older than you? Story of my life. who was the last person to call you? Mom. are you multi-tasking right now? Nope. what is the most irritating thing? Intimate sounds from people I dislike...I know that’s oddly specific. are you a patient person? No. do you ever listen to country music? Never. do you get mad when people smoke around you? Yes, I’m worried about secondhand smoke. did you lie on any of these questions so far? No. do you remember who you liked in january? It’s January right now. is life good or bad? Depends on the day. are you the oldest child? No. what was the last thing you said to someone? I don't remember. are you happy? Depends on the day. ever been told someone loved you? Yes. who was your last missed call? Too lazy to check. do you like cold and rainy days, or warm and sunny? Warm and cool at the same time. are you nervous about anything? Always. are you happier now, or three months ago? Now. what’s your current mood? Nervous. what color are your eyes? Hazel. do you and your mother have a good relationship? It’s complicated. do you know anyone with literally no common sense? Me. have you ever worn the opposite sex’s clothing? It’s my preference. honestly and don’t lie how's your heart these days? Overly passionate. have you ever had a summer romance? No. looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? No. do you remember who you had feelings for in december 2009? Yes. is a best friend pissing you off right now? Yes. what woke you up this morning? My alarm. do you have a brother? Half-brother whom I’ve never met. are you sad right now? Yes. do you like winter time? No. was it a boy or a girl to text you first today? Girl. what are you listening to right now? White noise. when was the last time you wanted to slap someone in their face? Today. are you scared of spiders? Yes. do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? I give endless chances. do you have siblings over the age of 21? All three of them. when’s the last time you cried yourself to sleep? Yesterday. do you struggle to articulate your thoughts and feelings? I know them way too well, actually. do you believe in divorce? I believe you shouldn’t get married in the first place. do you think you’re old? No. where have you lived throughout your life? New York and Florida. what’s the greatest thing that happened to you today? My first philosophy class. has anyone said they love you in the last week? Yes. would you rather visit australia, germany, croatia or jamaica? Croatia x10000 when was the last time you saw your dad? Today. if your boyfriend or girlfriend smoked pot, would you care? Only if it was daily. have you ever camped out with a significant other? I’ve never camped out at all. what keeps you awake at night? Nothing. As I said, I fall asleep like a baby. how many times have you stayed in a hotel? A lot. what does your third text message say? who is it from? Too lazy, again! plans for tomorrow? Two university classes. honestly, what’s on your mind right now? I'm tired but I want to complete this survey. other than a person, what was the last thing you cuddled with? My dog, of course. where was the last place you got completely wasted? I’ve never gotten completely wasted. do you need/want new clothes? I need them. I don’t want them. what did you eat for lunch today? A Dunkin’ Donuts wake-up wrap. how would you feel about traveling abroad alone? It’s my dream. what was the last thing you watched on tv? The Golden Globes (and I was disappointed with the results, of course, if you were paying attention to my previous answers on this survey.) when is the last time you wore a dress? For Christmas, I think? do you prefer hot, humid weather or bone-chilling cold weather? Hot and humid weather. last person you yelled at? Mom. have you ever watched one tree hill? No. who did you last have an alcoholic drink with? The guests at the Christmas party. are you afraid of falling in love? No, I love the feeling. what color eyes does your cat have? I have a dog, not a cat. what is the drinking age where you live? 21. do you lead people on? I’m very direct. how do you feel about your hair right now? It's up in a ponytail. I recently found a shampoo that works perfectly with it. have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die? Yes. who did you last say i love you to? My online bestie. when is your birthday? June 20th. is there any emotion you’re trying to avoid right now? One that I want to get rid of, but I acknowledge it. do you ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts? No. when did you last hold hands with someone? Oh God, it’s been a while. can you touch your nose with your tongue? No. stalked someone on a social network? 24/7. are you afraid of the dark? No. have you ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Yes. have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Story of my life, again. 1) Have you ever read the play “Waiting for Godot?” Did you like it? I haven't. 2) Do you actually like the early Simpsons episodes? I don’t watch The Simpsons. 3) Do you ever get horrible back pains? I’m actually getting adjustments at the Chiropractor for them. I have bent nerves in my back. 4) Do you ever nick the free things they put in hotel rooms (soaps, biscuits, chocolates, etc.)? Yep. 5) How often does it snow where you are? Does it interrupt your day-to-day life? Never. 6) How often do your knees crack when you stand up/crouch down? Always. 7) What’s your favourite flavour of Pringles? Sour cream and onion. That’s a flavor, isn’t it? 8) Do you have an ex that acts really weird with you sometimes, but absolutely fine with you at other times? No. 9) Have you ever been skiing/snowboarding before? Did you like it? I haven’t. 10) Do you do your own grocery shopping or not? Nope. 11) Are you on the pill? Is it for contraception or for other reasons? I am, to make my periods lighter and to balance my hormones. 12) Is someone in your family affected by Asperger’s? I am. 13) Are you addicted to any kind of soda? Ginger ale. 14) Have you ever eaten sugar straight out of the packet? No, gross. 15) Do programmes about bad eating habits make you want to sit and eat junk food? Quite the opposite. 16) Do you ever get worried about calling up strangers on the phone (eg. in hotels or for jobs)? Always. 17) In a hotel do you always nose through all the drawers and cupboards? Yes, it’s so much fun! 18) How often do you crack your back? Often. 19) Is your keyboard missing any keys? No way. 20) Are you afraid of flying or do you enjoy it? Or is it just normal to you? I love it! I love being above the clouds and the world looking miniature compared to me. 21) Have you ever flown to another country by yourself? Not yet. 22) What can you see out of the window right now? Nothing, I have the blinds closed. 23) Is your phone/iPod charging right now? No. 24) Do you like Elvis Presley’s music? No. 25) Do you live outside the United States? No. 26) If so, does it bug you when surveys are really Americanised? -- 27) Do you still watch Futurama? Never did. 28) Do you watch reality shows? Which one is the worst in your opinion? Yes, and all of them are the worst. 29) What size bed do you have? Twin-sized. It’s so goddamn small. 30) Do you get really bad periods? If so, what do you do to make them less painful? Not ever since I’ve been taking the pill.