#<< that last one is really old if you wanna go down the rabbit hole lmao

[sierrale8ne]

Azzi with the lil horny chocolates perchance???

azzi fudd x fem!reader

nsfw // no use of y/n (ur welcome), bratty!switch!azzi, switch!reader, use of an aphrodisiac, dry humping, nipple play, fingering, oral, mirror sex, mommy kink, squirting, dirty talk.

“It’s been 15 minutes. Relax, Az.” You mumbled, your attention being on the homework assignment you had started hours ago.

Azzi had never been bratty, never one to steer your attention away from your job or schoolwork; because she too was a vey focused and driven individual. But these last couple days had been a completely different story.

She had, out of character of course, fell down an online rabbit hole, and came across some aphrodisiac chocolates. She’d never trust the words of an ad on TikTok, but seeing the reviews made her even more desperate to try it. You were also very welcome to the idea, brushing her off and telling her to do whatever she pleased. Whatever to make your girl happy.

When the chocolates arrived 15 minutes ago, Azzi was quick to head over to where you sat on her bed, plopping one dark chocolate square into her mouth and handing you the other, before splitting the third and final one.

“Did you even read how much we’re supposed to take.” You asked, eyes briefly leaving your computer to meet your girlfriend’s eager brown eyes.

“Yes.”

You gave her a look, a tilt of your head that told her you didn’t believe her.

“Okay no. But it doesn’t really matter, it’s supposed to be fun, and here you are worrying about instructions.” She rolled her eyes, telling you she would be going to take a quick shower before walking into the hallway and leaving you to continue on your school project.

That was 15 minutes ago, and though the package insinuated that it would take quite a while for the effects to hit in full, your girlfriend was already breathing heavy and desperate for your attention. Even more so than before.

She sat on her knees in front of you, an old P.E shirt covering her body that rode up at mid thigh. Azzi stared at you like she would die at any given moment without your attention. She called your name and your eyes briefly drifted towards her.

“I need you.” She responded to your earlier statement, “I don’t care how long it’s been. Touch me.”

“You’re sounding a bit bratty.” You teased, shutting the computer screen, moving it to her desk, and giving her a cunning smile. It was amusing to you, to see her like this. A look on her face that could really only be described as a pout, her recently trimmed hair framing her face in beautiful curls. She smelled of vanilla and sandalwood. “Those chocolates got you goin’?”

“I think you’re actually a sadist.” Azzi huffed, her shoulders slouching in mild disappointment.

What she didn’t know was just how much the chocolate was effecting you too. You were lucky that the clothes you wore concealed your arousal because underneath your sweatpants, your panties were completely soaked and your nipples were so hard underneath your tank top.

She pushed you back by your shoulders, forcing you to get comfortable against the headboard. Her legs swung over your body and she straddled you, softly grinding her hips against yours.

“You don’t want me?” Azzi pouted as she cupped your cheek, “not even a little bit?”

“I’m teaching you patience.” You pointed out, simultaneously contradicting that statement by grabbing her hips and forcing her down closer to you. Azzi’s scent was intoxicating, the active ingredients of the chocolate enhanced it too.

Your eyes dropped to her thighs, thick and muscular, that caged you in place. She reached out to grab your wrists, dragging your hands away from her waist as she pinned them to your sides. Her hips pressed downwards on you some more, grinding onto you with a feverous desire.

“That’s a shame, because I really want you, baby.” She started, looking into your eyes. “I want your to fuck me so bad.”

“Az—”

“There’s so much I want you to do to me, and you wanna talk to me about patience?” Azzi’s head tilted to the left, looking down at you with teasing doe eyes. “Can you please make me feel good, Mommy?”

Your hands instantly fought out of her grip, fingers reaching out to pull on her t-shirt hem; playing with the fabric between your fingers. “Take this off.” You instructed and immediately, Azzi began shedding the shirt. Your jaw dropped and your eyes nearly bulged out of your head when you got a look at her tits staring right back at you. Her tanned stomach toned even more with the weight lifting she’d been doing.

She brought her hands to her tits, gripping them in her hands. She let out a teasing moan, much to your amusement. “I need you.”

“I know.” You nodded, reaching to peel her hands away from herself. You moved your lips to the center of her chest, littering soft kisses before cupping one of her breasts. “Prettiest fucking titties. You look so good, baby.”

Your lips attached to her nipple, tongue swirling around it as you looked up into her eyes. Her lip found its way between her teeth, desperately rutting her hips against you some more. Her clit was throbbing against you, leaving a slight wet patch on the material of your sweats.

You detached yourself from her chest, paying attention to her other nipple. Your tongue lolled out, swirling around it nastily. Her chest was covered in your saliva, her nipples even more swollen than they were before. You tugged on the front of her panties the lace immediately getting caught between her folds, making her moan out.

“Shit, gimme more. More, baby, please.”

“Mmm take these off and sit back against me.” You instructed, pulling back from her nipple with a bite. “Hurry up.” To left her with a slight slap to her thigh watching as she hopped off of the bed and slid her panties down her long legs.

Azzi pulled her hair into a low ponytail, before sitting back onto the bed and pressing her back up against your bra clad chest. Your bodies were glued together as you sat on the edge of the bed, her legs crossed daintily. You leaned into her neck, pressing needy kisses against her neck as your own pussy throbbed from her warmth.

“Tell me what you want.” You spoke into her ear, looking at her through the mirror in front of her bed. Your hands pried her legs apart draping them each over your own thighs.

“Fingers.” She responded. Her head frustratingly fell back onto your shoulder. “Wanna feel ‘em inside me. Please.” She begged, her hips circling in place.

You brought your middle and ring finger to your mouth, they sat heavy on your tongue as you wet them with saliva. You were genuinely salivating at the sight of her spread out for you in such a manner. You could easily see her through the mirror, legs spread as wide as they could go but her folds were what caught your attention.

Azzi was so wet, the slick that accumulated slipped past her enterance and onto the sheets. You’d never seen her like this before. Those chocolates might have to be purchased again.

You let out a chuckle around your fingers before slipping them out of your mouth. Your wet fingers trailed down her body, stopping to briefly circle her nipples before they finally reached her clit. You could feel the way Azzi’s body trembled against your own, heating up against your exposed stomach.

Your fingers spread her open before dipping into her warmth. Azzi’s jaw fell just slightly, eyes closed. A deep guttural moan left her lips while you slowly pumped your fingers in and out of her.

“So tight, Az.” You teased, knowing that the vulgarity of your words would bring a blush to her face. “Just wanted me in this pussy so bad, huh?” You cooed into her ear.

“Yes, so bad— fuck!” She moaned. Her legs subconsciously spread wider, allowing you more room to push your fingers into her. Azzi’s pretty painted nails dug into your thigh, her chest rapidly rising and falling as you sped up.

“You look so perfect, baby. Look.” You instructed, a hand griping her chin and forcing her head back down to meet the mirror.

Her eyes attempted to look anywhere but at herself, but the grip you had on her face stopped that from happening. “Such a desperate fuckin’ slut for it. You wanna cum don’t you, baby?”

“‘M gonna cum. Please, mommy, let me.” She whined, her hips slightly humping up against your hand.

Your fingers curled, Azzi let out a loud moan in response. Your fingers hit that one spot over and over again before slipping out and coating her clit in her own slick. They pushed back in harshly, your eyes glued to the sight in front of you.

“Aww, already?” You teased. “But I just started with you.”

“Mommy, I’m— uh fuck! Fuck, let me cum!” She hiccuped.

“Do it, Az. Let me have it, baby.” You nodded eagerly, agreeing to her request.

She whimpered and cried out your name as her orgasm washed over her. Her juices squirting out of her fast and hot against your hand and the mirror in front of you both. Your eyes damn near glazed over. Azzi’s body trembled against you and her eyes rolled to the back of her head.

“Good girl. So good for me, princess.” You whispered, kissing her temple as she recovered. You pulled your fingers out before bringing them to her parted lips. She eagerly opened her mouth more, groaning at her own taste as her lips clamped around your fingers. “Dirty girl.”

Her head bobbed submissively as she sucked them clean. Saliva dripped down your hand when you pulled it away. You were so enthralled by it you didn’t even notice how she shakily stood up and pushed you back against the bed. Her hands eagerly grabbed at your sweats, pulling them down along with your underwear.

“Jesus, Az. Is this payback?” You wondered, referring to her sudden shift in energy.

“Not yet.” She replied. Her hands roughly gripped your hips and put you on your hands and knees, back arched perfectly for her. “I just wanna make you feel good, mommy.” Azzi admitted.

Her hands palmed your ass in her hands, she spread you apart and licked her lips when she got a look at how wet you were. “Tryna pretend like you don’t feel anything. Just look at that.” She giggled, shaking her head.

“Azzi, I gave you what you want. So use your mouth, or back u— ah!” You squealed when she cut you off with her lips attacking your cunt. The wetness pooling on her tongue as she collected it and spat it back onto your pussy.

The mixture ran through your pussy, compiling at your clit before dropping on the bed. It was sinful. Her thumb felt through your folds as she collected the sticky substance on it.

“Such a pretty pussy, mommy. And you taste so fuckin’ good.” Azzi praised. Her face dived back in, nearly suffocating herself in your cunt as she nose prodded against your other hole.

You didn’t even notice how you began to push back onto her, forcing her tongue deeper and deeper into you. She ate you like a last meal, like she’s been dreaming about it for days; and she really has.

“Azzi. Uh fuck, baby. Don’t stop.” You groaned, your sounds muffled by the sheets which you gripped harshly.

By now you were practically fucking her face, pushing back and suffocating between your legs. She pulled back breathlessly and pushed her thumb back to your clit to keep you stimulated.

“Azzi.” You pouted, missing the feel of her tongue already.

She smirked behind you. Her eyes watched as your cunt pleaded for more, more anything that she was obviously neglecting. “You gotta tell me how bad you want it.”

“You said this wasn’t payback.”

“I said not yet, sweetheart.” Azzi cooed. Her hand dropped from your pussy, sinfully smiling at your whining. “I’m not asking. I’ll take care of you, you just gotta beg for it, mommy.”

Your breath hitched. “Please.”

“Aww you can do better than that, baby.” Her hand caressed your ass, distracting you before she gave it a harsh slap. “I don’t have all day.”

“Fuck— please, please touch me. I want your tongue, Az. Wanna cum on your face.” You begged, legs slightly trembling as you looked back at her.

She nodded. Her hands spread your ass again, leaving a quick and surprising kiss on your other hole before making her way back to your cunt. “See it wasn’t so hard.”

Her mouth attached to your clit again. She sucking it into her mouth violently, her tongue flicking it over and over and over again until without warning your cum spilled out of you and coated her tongue. She groaned happily, licking it all up and swallowing everything you gave her.

“Azzi, shit!” You cried, pulling away from her mouth and collapsing face first onto the bed. You could hear her laughter behind you as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Her body pressed against your back, mouth approaching you ear.

“You tired?” She teased.

And within seconds your exhaustion faded and you pulled Azzi back into the bed, switching spots with you while you looked in the nearby dresser drawer for the next toy you would use to break her apart.

author’s note gf azzi fudd 😍😍 ugh someone tell paige to come off of this one please!! yes it’s unedited, yes there are grammar and spelling mistakes, no idgaf <3

[greydoesthearts]

Super random extra post and last one of my night--some of my au egos pride and disabilities stuff? 👀

Swap AU

Jackie: trans man, autistic and has a service dog to help!

Anti: trans man, rendered nonspeaking via a laryngectomy.

Chase: blind in one eye, deaf in one ear. He uses a prosthetic eye!

Jamie: PTSD.

Blind Marvin AU

As the au is called--he's blind in both eyes due to a shadow attack from Anti 😔 in some unwritten plans he gains back a bit of light perception but not much at all

Magnificence

Kiddo Chase: ADHD.

Kiddo Jameson: nonspeaking. Saying why would be a spoiler :]

Septic Brothers AU

These guys range from 10 to 17, and c!Jack is included. All of them are some combination of autistic and/or ADHD, as well as...

Jameson and Anti: premature twins resulting in their own sets of disabilities. Jameson's larynx wasn't fully developed so he's nonspeaking and has breathing problems. Anti was able to gain some control of his voice but still struggles, and they both have bad asthma as well as impulse issues.

Henrik and Marvin: also twins but they were more developed while still being preemies. Henrik's got vision problems and Marvin also struggles badly with impulse control.

Jackie is trans and a bit higher support needs autistic. He probably also gets a support dog later on :)

Royalty AU

Jameson: rendered nonspeaking via a castle attack late at night.

Marvin: PTSD from that attack.

Henrik: vision problems, magic-centred chronic pain.

[barbiiecams]

doubts

drew starkey x younger!reader (like 19/20 sorry not sorry 😭), reader calls drew “papa” *not in a weird way*, smut, in love w the age gap concept cus of @native2princess ! <3

you watched yet another video on the internet of drew down at disney world without you, but with his friend group that all had a few years on you.

he would send pictures of everything that was cute or that reminded him of you, and you really did appreciate it. but it still didn’t swallow the lingering feeling in your gut.

you weren’t even invited. it was obvious why since you couldn’t even buy a drink legally, let alone not even close with half of them, but for some reason it still hurt and had you questioning things even further about everything.

you swore that you guys were drifting apart.

not only did that make you sad, but it also left you scared and questioning everything.

the only thing that made you wonder why you two were drifting like you thought you were was because of the age gap.

was he getting tired of you? was the age gap starting to become a burden? were you just too immature?

and let’s not even get started on how drew acted around his female friends — that were once again a lot older.

all you could do was just cry. it was a dumb reason to cry about, but you don’t wanna lose drew yet you really think you are. he was your first and you hoped he’d be your last, but who knows where you two may end up?

seeing how he acted with his friends currently was already ruining you. now you found yourself down a rabbit hole of searching through old videos of him before you were even dating.

it was crazy, of course you were aware of that. but it did nothing but further increase your worries seeing how he would act around these girls. all older than you and all more outgoing.

so now here you were, stalking your own boyfriend while you sat in your bed, silent tears streaming down your face.

currently, drew was now in paris for the fashion show. he wanted you to come, but it would be too difficult for you. plus school had just ended and both of you knew that you were planning to spend more time with your family this summer.

regardless of that, this feeling was awful. you’ve had old puppy-love heart breaks during highschool with guys you dated just to say you were in a relationship, but this is real. a real committed relationship you’re in with a guy a little over 10 years older than you.

he’s so mature. so are you, but not entirely. you still had a lot more to experience and learn, and he was always so patient.

but maybe now that patience was wearing thin.

you sniffle one more time before closing out all your apps and throwing your phone on the nightstand next to you. wanting to sleep it off and praying you’d wake up feeling better, your insides just were not letting that happen. not to mention you couldn’t fall asleep without at least getting a goodnight text from him.

laying down was no use. as soon as you tried to lay your head down on the pillow and just relax, the overthinking just continued to grow. there was no escape from these thoughts and it was just eating you straight alive.

you huff while turning over, switching sides and seeing if that would help. spoiler: it didn’t.

all you could do now is groan while sitting up. a certain thought ran through your mind that you really didn’t want to go through with, but did you have a choice? you already felt as if the end of things are near, so why let him break your heart (even though you’d be expecting it) when you can just do it the hard part first?

with a sigh, you reached over to grab your phone and open drew’s contact. everything was making you sick. you just stared at the screen, skimming over the conversation you had earlier.

it was the usual. ‘hows your day’, ‘i miss you’, ‘this reminded me of us’, all the cute stuff.

but it just didn’t hit the same. that feeling of him leaving you because of your age wasn’t going anywhere, and it was making you feel insecure on extreme ends

your fingers started typing. there were no real thoughts, just your pure raw emotions. you hit backspace a couple of times, you sat there and thought about the next few words you were going to say, but eventually you got it all put together it pained you type, but it pained you even more contemplating on whether or not you should send it.

‘hey drew. i’ve been missing you a lot recently and i know it’s weird and you’re going to question why i sent this after you read it, but im sorry. i really do feel like you’re leaving me soon and it’s taking a toll on me badly. i don’t want this to end but i can tell that it is and i just know + feel like we’re drifting apart. i feel like it’s because of my age so i really do understand and respect that. we can talk more once you get back because i hate to do this over text but i can’t just bottle my feelings anymore. goodnight 🩷’

a few more seconds of contemplation, you hit send and stared at the screen. you didn’t know how he would respond so you should’ve been shutting off your phone and running away.

but you didn’t. you stared at the screen and waited until he read it.

thankfully, it didn’t take him any longer than three minutes to open your message, and soon after, the dots were bubbling.

drew himself was lost. confused wasn’t even the word for the long paragraph you just sent him. he even started triple texting you.

‘???’

‘what are you talking about baby?’

‘i’m so lost’

you sighed reading his texts. he didn’t get it, realistically you shouldn’t have expected him to. it was out of the blue, and little to your knowledge, he didn’t think for a second anything was wrong between you too.

when you didn’t answer him as soon as you read it, he went back to typing.

‘answer me’

‘i’m really confused and worried. it’d be nice if you stopped leaving me on read’

‘call me now’

you didn’t even have a chance to start typing because you had an incoming call with drew’s name on it. you didn’t wanna pick up, but you knew you had to because if the roles were reversed, oh you’d definitely be throwing a fit.

swallowing quickly, you hit the green answer button to drew’s facetime call but moved your face out of the camera.

he’s walking, most likely back to his hotel with furrowed eyebrows and an expression that you think showed… annoyance?

drew’s the first one to speak up, “y/n, what the hell are you talking about?” he says sounding very confused and very upset as well.

“i feel like we’re drifting apart apart i don’t know.” you replied. your voice isn’t even a third as stern as his. it’s not stern at all nor convincing.

“where is that coming from? what are you talking about it’s our ages?” he questions you again.

you really hoped a fan wouldn’t come up to him. not because it would interrupt the call, but because they would be walking up on him pissed off and getting a taste of his very apparent bad mood.

you sighed, “it’s just how i feel. maybe i’m not mature enough for this.”

his face scrunches with confusion even further. he then looks down to his screen to see the ceiling you were showing.

“why do you all of a sudden feel this way? you are mature. if you weren’t, this relationship wouldn’t be a thing in the first place.”

this was something else you wanted to avoid; him being mad at you. you hated making him upset and now that you were already upset, and he was just getting annoyed with you, it wasn’t helping and it made you feel worse.

“show me your face baby. you know i don’t like talking to walls.” he says once you don’t respond to his actual voice this time.

reluctantly, you put your face in the screen. sitting up and cuddling onto your bed sheets.

“y/n, nothing is wrong. we aren’t drifting apart at all so i don’t know why you feel otherwise. we’re okay and you know this, baby. stop overthinking.” he reassures you.

before you could finally respond with anything else, you heard a few girls calling his name from the other side of his phone. good luck to them!

“i’ll call you back. we’re not done talking.” he says, then swiftly hangs up.

you wanted to puke. you hated being in any type of conflict with people, let alone being in one with drew.

a headache was starting to form, and it forced you to lay back down and sleep. you kept your phone right next to you on your bed, just in case drew woke you up by ringing your phone again.

—

you weren’t sure when the previous night you fell asleep, but you didn’t wake up until 12 the next day. and that was due to your doorbell ringing multiple times at once.

you whined at the fact you had to leave your warm bed, but you slowly made your way down your apartment’s stairs, rubbing your eyes and forcing yourself to wake up.

opening the door ready to curse out whoever had the nerve to wake you up at this hour, it was drew standing at the door with flowers in one hand and his stuff in the other.

now this is what really woke you up.

“how are you here…?” you questioned.

he exhales, “soon as we hung up yesterday i checked out and booked a flight here. we really need to talk in person.

you step to the side to let him in, then he shuts the door behind him and hands you the flowers.

both of you take a seat at the table. “i need you to fully explain what you’re feeling. that paragraph honestly made no sense and as soon as i read the whole thing i knew i had to get down here.” he says.

you press your lips together before speaking. “i’m sorry.”

he makes a face of puzzlement and also motions for you to keep going.

“maybe im not mature enough for this, drew. i don’t know.”

“what makes you think that? what happened or what did i do that has you questioning everything?” he asks, reaching out for your hand.

you sniffle before continuing, “i just feel like im holding you back. you’re buying drinks, going to clubs and hanging out with your friends who are all around your age and im still in school. it’s not working-”

he cuts you off before you can finish that. “those aren’t reasons, baby. it is working. do you feel left out or something?”

“no it’s just,”

there’s a pause before he says something again, “just what? i don’t understand what’s got you so in your head.

“i don’t know how to explain it. i just think you’re drifting from me because of where we’re at in life and i hate it.” the words finally form, and you can feel a little bit of weight being lifted off your chest now that you’ve got it out.

his expression now shows a face of understanding, then he’s standing up and swiftly making his way over to you, lifting you up before securing your legs around him.

you let out a squeal at the action. when he was balanced, he made his way upstairs to your room with you in his arms.

stepping into your decorated room, he throws you down on the bed then hovers over you. “i’m gonna prove to you that you deserve this relationship.”

his lips make their way to your jaw, leaving little lovebites on them, then down to your neck and chest.

your hands fly to his buzzed head. you let out soft sighs at his lips being on your body, a feeling you loved the most.

his hands travel to your pajama shorts then dipped into the waistband of your panties. as hes taking them both off at the same time, he distracts you by now placing his lips on yours, slowly making out with you.

now your hands are taking action, working to get is shirt off to see his toned body once again. when it’s off, one hand is still on his head while the other goes down to his abs, feeling on him.

now he’s starting to get quick, fumbling with his belt and pants, ready to do you into the mattress.

sooner than later, both of your clothes are off and in random sports throughout the room.

his middle and ring finger are inside you, stretching your out as you moan and grind into his hand.

drew’s cock is laying there on your stomach, practically reaching your ribs. this was just another reminder of how deep he really goes when fucking you.

you could barely keep your eyes on him while his fingers worked you. “that feel good?”

you moan out a “yea.” you definitely couldn’t let him go. the way he could make you fall apart with just his fingers is crazy as it is.

“i bet, baby. already so wet. you know what you want huh?” he coos.

this makes you nod. “want your cock, please.” you reach your hand down to where it rested on you, but he moves your hand away.

“i know you do. but i need this pussy stretched and ready for me.” he responds

“i can take it! promise! just give it to me,” you whine.

drew gives in at your begging. he removes his fingers from inside you before sticking them in your mouth.

he grabs his cock before lining it up with your entrance. he slowly pushes in, making you whimper around his fingers. it hurt a little bit, but the pleasure overrode the pain.

“shhh,” he hushes you, putting his cock in all the way and forcing you to take all that he gave you.

you continued to let out sounds because of the pleasure he was giving you. drew was letting out groans of content himself.

“feels so good, baby. so fucking good.” he throws his head back.

his words did nothing but turn you on more. your eyes squeeze shut before you guide his hand out of your mouth and onto your throat, signaling what you want from him.

he smirks before moving his other hand to your throat, choking you slightly but enough that you can still breathe.

“yea you like when i go hard on you, right baby? this pussy just loves when i go rough on her, doesn’t she?” he teases.

“mhm!” you squeak, loving the feeling of just taking all of him so deep and so rough.

he makes your legs cross completely around him before leaning down into your neck.

this was your favorite position. you being on your back, him groaning in your hear and putting hickeys on your neck, it was so much at once and you loved it real bad.

his lips are right next to your ear. “i’m not going anywhere, yeah?”

he lets out another sound before continuing, “you’re not leaving me either. neither of us are going anywhere.

your breath catches in your throat when he says this. maybe this was all you needed. some reassurance, and a good pounding to go with it.

he sits up before pulling out to turn you around. now that you’re flat on your stomach, he slides right back in with a hand on your lower back right before your butt and the other pushing your head down into the pillows.

you screamed out when he started thrusting all over again. it hurt so good, you just wanted to do this forever him.

you tried to move away slightly because he was just going ham on your poor hole. but all it took was you reaching one hand up, gripping the sheets and trying to pull away before he yanked your head back by your hair. he then brought your back up to his chest and held you by your throat.

“stop running, baby.” he growls into your ear.

“it’s so deep tho, papa.” your eyes squeeze shut as your mouth hangs open.

he kisses right below your ear, “you’re fine.”

that bubbly feeling started to form again. you were about to cum, and somehow drew could always tell too.

“know you’re gonna cum, mama. hold that shit.” he tells you as he pushes you back into the sheets.

right now that request just didn’t seem possible. “i can’t!”

he gives your right cheek a firm slap. “you can and you will. don’t make me say it again.”

you guys stay in this position for a while. him just hitting it from the back deep and all you needed to do was lay there and take it like a good girl.

his good girl.

suddenly, he flips you back over, then lays down himself setting you on top. now he’s got his feet planted on the bed, thrusting up into you.

at this angle, you guys can see the belly bulge happening from how deep his cock was. just proving how big he really is again.

“see that baby? that’s me. all up in those guts.” he says to you.

you throw your head back, but he cups the back of your head to bring you down into him, chest to chest.

“y’the only one who gets fucked like this. y’know that? only one who deserves it too,” his arms wrap around your waist now. “only fucking one.”

his lips are practically on your ear as he says this. you’re only able to nod, but he wants to hear your voice.

“tell me you understand that baby, say it.” his thrusts slow down, but there still deep, and he’s angling it to make sure he’s hitting that good spot.

“i…”

another slap hits on to your cheek. “say it, princess.”

“yes! i understand!” you finally moan out.

“yes who, baby?”

“yes papa!” your voice is weak now.

he smirks at your submission and continues to fuck you hard. more than just a few thrusts later, he’s letting out a lot more groans than what he already was.

“shit baby… y’gonna make me cum soon. you gonna let me put it in you, hm?”

“drew…”

his hips are starting to stutter. “know you’re ready to cum too. been holding it in like papa told you too, good girl. fuckk.”

his arms are really really squeezing around your waist, keeping you still so you can’t try and move from his brutal thrusts.

“cum with me baby girl. got a big load for you.” he moans.

“don’t knock me up.” as good as the moment felt right now, you were dead serious about that.

he chuckles, “i won’t baby. know you wanna feel that cum all in your stomach tho.”

you moan one last time before finally cumming around him. you couldn’t hold it back anymore, no matter how much he told you to wait for him.

but your own orgasm sent his off. he felt you come undone around him, and two seconds later you felt his hot sperm fill you up.

drew’s arms moved from around your waist to seriously gripping your hips down, not letting you waist a drop of what he had to give you.

moans and deep breaths were coming from the both of you. that was the most intense sex you guys had for a while, not to mention the first time he’s actually came inside you.

when he finally came down from his high, he slowly pulled out of you and just let you rest on his chest.

“thank you,” you quietly speak up.

he doesn’t respond, but he smiles and kisses your forehead.

minutes after just sitting in silence, he sits up against your headboard and takes your face into your hands.

“baby, when i say youre what i want i mean it. if you weren’t mature enough for me, i wouldn’t still be here.” he says. you don’t actually answer, you want him to keep going.

“i love you so much, sweetheart. nothing about that is going to change and nothing can make it change. i don’t know what you saw or if i did something, but im sorry. okay?”

you nod with a smile. “okay.”

he smiles back at you then pressed his lips against yours, giving you a nice firm kiss. which slowly turned into a makeout.

you guys pull away just to catch your breath, “we gotta get you packed up, sweetheart.”

“for what?” you ask.

“i’m taking you back to paris with me.”

[berylcups]

Idk if you requests are closed or not pookie but can I get a vento aureo X reader like it doesn’t really matter who but like this is my first ever request to anyone so I don’t know how😭💕

Hello There! So sorry I took so long! Since it's your first request I wanna make sure it's a good one. And for waiting so patiently, I added 2 bonus character! 🥰 I Really hope you enjoy! Thanks so much for sending in an ask!

What Makes La Squadra Unexpectedly Blush? +2 Secret Characters!

CW: Suggestive content, blood mention, eating, death mention, body dysmorphia (DW, you get supported booboo❤)

Risotto 

The first time you made him blush was when you came back from a mission that didn’t go as smoothly as you expected it to. You dripping from head to toe caked in the enemies blood. And it’s not simply because of the blood factor. He felt hot under the collar because you weren’t some dainty little prince/ss that avoided dirt and grime. He loved how you weren’t afraid to get your hands dirty. From getting forearm deep in soil while working in your garden, whipping up a new recipe in the kitchen, to painting a masterpiece out of oil paints, to committing murder. He would have to excuse himself every time to get ahold of himself!

Risotto heard loud chopping and slamming noises coming from the kitchen. 

“That doesn’t sound good…” he pondered to himself . 

He went into the kitchen to see you hunched over a bloody massive piece of meat ready to slam the tenderizer over it again. He felt his heart skip a beat as he watched you pulverize the meat getting myoglobin liquid all over you.

“What are you making today???” He purred as he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind while resting his chin on your head.

“Just a roast. Nothing special…” you panted. Tenderizing took a lot of energy but it’s good exercise! 

“ I bought this tougher cut because it was cheaper and I could just tenderize the shit out of it to make it softer.” You explained.

“Mmm… you’re doing a damn good job.” He kissed you on the top of the head.

Formaggio 

Formaggio always thought it was downright adorable when he caught you lost in thought. He always knew you had a million thoughts going through your head that you tended to drift off into your own little world. You would make this cute face that would stare off into space that would just make him fanboy and blush over how adorable you were being. 

“...” you were staring out the window half listening to what he was saying. It was a sunny day out and the sky seemed bluer than usual. When was the last time the sky was this blue? When was there anything else in nature that was that blue??? You really like blue…Blue is a cool color. Its also a primary color. It’s the only cool primary color-

“Hey~.Earth to Y/N~. Are you there?” he questioned holding back a laugh.

“Oh- shit. Maggi. Sorry uh…what were you saying?” you asked completely off guard.

“Pfft. I was talking about our next mission silly. Heh, you are too cute, you know that?” he pinched your cheek. 

“Sorry, My mind always tends to wander.”you sighed.

“Don’t be, baby. You’re just a deep thinker. We need people like that, you know. You’re hard thinking keeps me out of trouble, and I keep you from going too deep down the rabbit hole. We complete each other!” he patted your back.

“Yeah, you’re right. Well now that you have my attention, lets go over the plan again.”

Illuso 

He looks like a stuck up judgmental prick but there’s one thing he can’t get enough of is…a super soft body! When he saw your stomach rolls as you sat down on the couch he had to keep his hands to himself. He really wanted to touch your belly. He’s still learning that this is a sensitive subject so he showers you with praises and tries his hardest not to grope your soft rolls. (A+ for effort… D- for execution 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️) 

You were looking at yourself in the mirror with your old favorite outfit on. You weren’t happy that it wasn’t fitting right. There were rolls flooding out, too much chest showing that you were comfortable with, shorts hugging your thighs a little too tight.

“Sigh… really??? I gained more weight didn’t I? Son of a bitch.” You groaned.

“Quit acting like that’s a bad thing.” You heard a voice through the mirror.

“Lulu! You’re watching me through the mirror AGAIN??? You perv.” You hissed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve been here the whooole time. It’s not my fault you just noticed.” He snickered as he came out.

He picked you up and put you down on the bed so he could snuggle you.

“Heheheh so soft…” he buried his face in your chest.

“That’s the only good thing about me.” You whined. 

“Bullshit! I love this soft belly and this ass… and these thicc thighs!” He sighed happily. “You’re clearly perfect because I have high standards hun.”

“Pffft! Whatever!” You laughed.

“It’s true. You’re stuck with me. Sucks to be you!” He chuckled while peppering your face with butterfly kisses.

Prosciutto 

You looked in your compact mirror and sighed. You were hyper focusing on every single line on your face. A face that this uptight man adores! The time he saw your smile lines it melted his heart! It just showed that you were living your life right! He HATED all this plastic surgery and Botox bullshit… whatever happened to aging gracefully and naturally??? Of course if that’s what you wanted that’s what you get. But he’ll be damned if he’s going to let the media make you feel self conscious! Not on his watch! 

“You’re frowning amore. What’s wrong?” He inquired.

“I feel like I’m too young to be getting wrinkles…” you grumbled. “ These smile lines make me look like I’m 100 years older than I really am! And I think I’m starting to see crows feet.”

“ You're using a high magnifying mirror. Of course you are going to see everything that you don’t want to see.  And you don’t look older. Even if you do, there's nothing wrong with that.” He asserted as he brushed aside your hair.

“But—-“ you began.

“No buts. Before you even say aging isn’t hot I give you a counterpoint: Milfs and Dilfs. GMilfs and GDilfs if you will.” He stated.

“O-oh…” your face became flushed. “But even so… I’m not ready to be considered one of those just yet.” You stuttered.

“If you really need it I will get it taken care of. But I really like your smile lines. I think they make your smile that much more attractive. But it’s all about what makes you comfortable.” He kissed your forehead.

“Thanks Prosci. You're so sweet! Maybe in a couple years I’ll embrace it…”

Melone

Melone has a lot of fetishes… feet are just the tip of the pervert’s iceberg. He never knew how flustered he could get when he watches you eat. Watching you munch away and stuffing your cheeks like a hamster, hes in love~! Fuck table manners! He doesn’t care!  Be as messy as you want, be as prim and proper as you want, or better yet…let him feed YOU. He daydreams sometimes about you objectifying him by eating sashimi and nigiri sushi off his nude body…but he knows you won’t go for it… It’s unsanitary and quite expensive to secure that much sashimi grade fish. 

“Are we feeding for two~?” He purred rubbing your belly.

“You wish.” You snickered. “I’m just really in the mood for grapes.” you stated grabbing a handful and eating it like popcorn.

“Perhaps I should fix that then… hmm?” he flirted again. “Would you be open to eating a fruit salad off my beautiful body???”

“Haha ew no Mel. That's unsanitary and you won’t stay still for that long” you giggled. “But you can feed me grapes like I'm some sort of Roman God/dess.” you offered. 

“Really?! Yes Amore! I’d love to~!” he eagerly grasped the bowl and started feeding you.

“Very good…now try to act like you don’t have a raging hard on when you give me more.” you snickered.

Ghiaccio 

The first time you got chilly from the drafty base. Seeing your skin go from smooth to having the lightest little hairs on your body stand up to trap in your body heat in did something to his brain chemistry. Looking and feeling every bump of your cold skin makes him feral. When your teeth start chattering he’s having a full blown brain aneurysm.

“Geez Y/N. I know it’s winter but it’s not THAT cold. It’s 7 C outside.” He observed your shaking.

“ 7 C my ass! I used to live on an island! This is freezing for me!” You chattered through your teeth. “See??? Look at this Ghia. Look. My skin is getting Bumpy! It’s weird!” You snatched his hand and forced it to rub up against your arm.

“It’s called goosebumps dumbass..” He grumpily remarked. “I kinda like it…” he bit his lip while staring at your chilly skin.

He subconsciously kept rubbing your arm, enjoying the sensation. 

“Hey~ I think you’re enjoying it too much, you lil perv. Your cheeks are turning red.” You whined.

“Shut up.” He used his stand to make his hands ice cold and proceeded to grab your shoulders.

“Ghiaccio—-stop it you prick!!!  It’s too cold~!” You squealed and tried to flail out of his grip.

He clung on harder while laughing. “You big baby! I’ll show you cold!” He squeezed your chest with his frozen hands.

“Aaaah——! Not my titties/man-titties!” You squealed again.

*Bonus!*

Doppio/Diavolo

The boss couldn’t help himself but feel his cheeks turn red from hearing you mumbling to yourself. He thought it was just too damn cute! He’s never letting you go.

“*mumble mumble* Y/N you are sooo forgetful! Where on earth did we put your favorite CD?” You mumbled to yourself as you looked through the CD booklet. “We absolutely CANNOT clean the living room without our favorite album on. Doppio will be sad and Boss will be grumpy when they see that the living room isn’t spotless!”

“Haha~! Oh Y/N… who on earth are you talking to?” Doppio giggled.

“Oh—you’re home early! I’m so sorry that the house is still a mes—“

“No no! It’s okay! We can do it together now that I’m home early!” Doppio beamed while grabbing a broom.

“Tuuuu rurururrururrururu! Oh the boss is calling! I have to take this first.” He said as he grabbed the dust pan and brought it to his ear. “Doppio speaking!”

“Oh- oh my… of course! I’ll tell them!” His face was flushed as he hung up the “phone”

“Umm… uh, the boss wants to let you know you’re doing a good job and he’s going to reward you when he comes home!” He stuttered.

“Oh…” your cheeks turned pink. The boss seems to be in a good mood today. 😳 I wonder who did he cross off on his hit list today…

Tiziano & Squalo 

You get flustered easily and having two boyfriends just makes it so much worse. You get tongue tied and so flustered that you suddenly stop speaking! They can't help but be a little flushed themselves seeing you shy up so adorably like you do!

“What’s the matter Y/N? Talking Heads got your tongue?” Tiziano purred brushing the hair out of your face. 

“….” Your face went beet red as he flirted and you turned your head to break eye contact.

“Tiziano… don’t be so intense. Poor Y/N just went nonverbal on us. We need to take things more slowly.”  Squalo whined.

“I know I know… but aren’t they just so cute when they get shy like this? I could just eat them up!” Tiziano chuckled.

“I’d say it’s a bit more than just shyness. I do admit it is cute though.” Squalo replied while stroking your hair to comfort you.

“Don’t worry about being verbal or not Y/N. We will always be here for you. If anyone has a problem with your lack of communication we will speak for you” Tiziano cooed.

“There will be hell to pay if anyone has a problem with OUR Y/N…” Squalo growled defensively.

“Calm yourself Squalo. We both know Y/N is perfectly safe in our hands.” He responded, giving Y/N a kiss on the forehead. 

[kanerallels]

New day new ask but! Yes, The Scarlet Pimpernel novel is amaaaaaazzziinnng. The old original movie is also fun! But imho the 82 movie is far the superior of the film versions. I also absolutely insanely adore the Broadway musical from the 90s, and there's a great ya/apocalyptic sort of retelling called Rook by Sharon Cameron that I also love.

But I highly recommend watching the movie (it's a little long and slowish and 80s hair but perfect, then reading the book (it's very short and a pretty easy read), then listening to the musical soundtrack. (Fair warning, they all have slightly different endings as far as the final climax, but with generally good reason for the changes and they kind of took elements from Baroness Orczy's other novels about the character.)

Sir Percy Blakeney is the best hero with a secret identity to ever hero identity secretly, tbh. He's clever and charming and idiotic and hysterical and dashing and pathetic. And Marguerite is sweet and smart and daring and ridiculous and sly and witty and splendid. -deep sigh- yeah, highly recommend 10/10 every time. Ok bye!

Okay this is all AMAZING. The retelling thing is 101 percent going on my list, and this sounds really great!! I also saw a post once that compared Sir Percy to not one, but two of my all time favorite fictional characters, so like. I can't just not watch it, ya know?

Also you should know that after I got this ask last night I went down a rabbit hole of looking at the actors in this movie (IAN MCKELLAN??? AND THE GUY WHO DIRECTED DOWNTON FREAKING ABBEY???) and then I saw that the guy who plays Percy is also in Ivanhoe from the same year, and I couldn't NOT investigate that (I love Ivanhoe, okay? It's definitely problematic because it was written years and years ago, whatever. I still love it. This is not the time for a rant about it) and now I. Might have to watch a 1982 production of Ivanhoe because it's got some EXCELLENT actors in it including Julian Glover who plays one of my emotional support background character in Star Wars (mainly thanks to this fan fic that you specifically would love because it's got all these honorable caring male characters who do what's right and the platonic relationships? Flawless. I digress) and SAM FREAKING NEILL PLAYS SIR BRIAN DE BOIS-GUILBERT??? To say nothing of yet another Downton Abbey actor being there.

But I digress--I really wanna watch this thanks to that whole rabbit hole from last night, and I also really wanna watch Ivanhoe lol! If I do watch it, I shall let you know, I promise!!

[columbiastapshoes]

more general headcanons. take them in addition to my other ones.

my last headcanon post got a decent amount of attention so i thought i’d do it again :3 my brain is like. a factory that is constantly producing headcanons from machines it’s how i function

anyways most of these r about magenta because i’ve just been in a very magenta mood recently she’s so silly (i’m going feral why is she so PRETTY)

- brad played with dolls as a kid but his parents took them away when he got “too old” for it to be some cute quirk because a Man has to play with Trucks like a Man anyways he did play with Trucks like a Man but he never forgot how to do their hair so even now he can french braid the shit out of people’s hair, especially magentas hair because the dolls he had also had big poofy hair like hers so he’s used to that. however columbia is typically magentas french braiding person so when she saw her gf getting her hair braided by another man she was like “HOW DARE YOU WE ARE OVER” (as a joke obviously don’t fret)

- magenta can do the splits. idk. i just get that vibe and i’m right about everything soooooo /j

- columbia cannot maintain eye contact and magenta STARES and forgets to blink or look away so every time they talk it’s just

“👁️👁️”

“STOP”

- this is such a specific scenario but if they are shopping and come across a pillow they want to buy they give it the columbia test. what is the columbia test you might ask? they just get columbia to scream all of her pain and trauma into the pillow, and if the sound is muffled enough it is deemed worthy to purchase

- magenta just. brings random animals into the castle. and i’m not talking about “aww she like adopts cats a lot :3” no this bitch has brought in Raccoons from the Backyard and riff raff who is a paranoid ass mf is like “THAT THING HAS RABIES” and magentas like “LISTEN. HER NAME IS BEELZEBUB AND YOU WILL TREAT HER WITH RESPECT”

- why are all of these about magenta help

- speaking of magenta :3 she is a huge wes anderson fan and she and columbia watched isle of dogs together for a lil movie date and columbia sobbed during most of it 👍 she liked it though

-can we all agree that frank just. knows how to vogue. like bro came out of the womb knowing how to do that shit and it stuck with him for the rest of his life

-so i spent a really long time being stumped on how i think columbia would dress. like i have everyone else’s style figured out but i just couldn’t figure out hers for some reason,,,,, until i went down a rabbit hole and discovered cyndi lauper. i mean obviously i had listened to girls just wanna have fun and time after time but i has never actually seen this absolute icon. anyways i discovered her and her style during theater class one day and from then on i knew that columbia dresses like cyndi lauper, columbia listens to cyndi lauper, COLUMBIA IS CYNDI LAUPER

-ok so canonically i dont think this would happen but in my own version of rocky horror that exists in my brain magenta and brad are bffs. like yk those videos u see of “unlikely animal friendships” that is literally just them. it’s like goth gf x Some Guy™️ (x used platonically)

-brad is a die hard swiftie. i won’t elaborate.

-magenta loves loves LOVES abba

-sometimes i forget columbia isn’t canonically a theater kid. cuz like. she just Is a theater kid yk that’s who she is

- she would love grease

i will probably make another one of these posts when my list becomes longer again ‼️‼️

p.s i have. two rocky horror aus. would anyone like me to post about them. because i can. i am so normal about . aus

[insomniacdreammerbb]

Synopsis: a slow burn love story of my favorite chaotic mess of a man Dieter Brave and F!reader. 18+ eventually, minors dni

Trigger warnings: mentions of drugs, death, death by overdose, domestic abuse. Eventually smut.

Authors Note: I haven't written in years, but I have fallen down the rabbit hole of so many talented writers here on tumblr with Pedro Pascal character fanfics. I’m a sucker for a good slow burn, smutty, fluffy love story. Goal is to keep it around or under ten chapters. Any feedback would be appreciated! Also I’m new to tumblr and don’t really know how to use the platform so any advice on that would be nice too.

Chapter One

You cringe when your phone rang for the fourth time today. This is what it was like when Dieter had nothing to do. He’d constantly be blowing up your phone asking you where you put the sex toys that he’d ordered, what's next on his schedule for press or shoots or sometimes it’d be even something more ridiculous like if you believed that Octopuses were really aliens that landed on earth from a meteor. He’d be like this whenever he didn’t have someone to keep him company or in between projects.

“Yes boss?” You answered as you placed your iphone on speaker as you continued typing away at your MacBook finishing up Deiter’s reservation at a resort up in Canada for a project next year.

“What am I doing this weekend?” Dieter asks not bothering to greet you first, this was normal.

You clocked on the calendar on your MacBook, “You have a podcast with Stephen from Vanity Fair Saturday morning at eleven. Other than that your day is free.”

“Hey set me up a reservation for the Marriott in the Marina,” Dieter began barking, “and book two seats for the sunset cruise and dinner on the bay.”

You opened up google typing in the resort, you were used to Dieter giving you demands like this.

“Two seats?” You questioned him and you clicked book now, “who are you going with?”

“A friend,” Dieter replied sheepishly.

“A friend?” You repeated with a raised eyebrow, “Who is it? I’m gonna have to put her name on the second seat for the cruise so you’re gonna have to tell me anyways.”

Dieter was quiet for a moment, “Lola.”

“You gotta be kidding me,” You said, rolling your eyes, “her again?”

“What she’s hot,” Dieter responded, you could practically see her pouty puppy dog eyes he had as he spoke, “and her and her ex just broke up.”

“Again?”

“Yes, again,” Dieter said dramatically, “she’s on the rebound and slumming it and I’m loving it.”

You rolled your eyes again, “you know you don’t have to pick women who are slumming it just to get laid you know. There’s plenty of beautiful women all over L.A. who would happily spend an evening on a sunset cruise. Why do you need to pick the wicked witch of the L.A.?”

“See that’s where you’re wrong,” Dieter began to say, “Those women only wanna hang out with me because I’m a big time movie star. They dont really give a fuck about me.”

“And you think Lola does?” You pointed out.

“No not really,” Dieter said with a hint of sadness in his voice, “but honestly fuck it. I just wanna go out on the ocean, eat some good food and then eat some good pussy. Lola’s good for that.”

“Alright,” you said, conceding knowing that this was a time old argument the two of you have had many times. You knew that it wouldn’t go anywhere and you still had too much to do today to spend the time arguing.

“Do you want the all inclusive romantic suite with, jacuzzi bathtub with an ocean view or would you rather have the scintillating views of downtown LA with the wood burning fireplace?” You asked reading through the options of the luxury suites that were offered.

“Hm they both sound nice,” Dieter said mulling it over in his head, “where would you rather get eaten out? In front of the fireplace or on the edge of the jacuzzi tub?”

Neither, you thought to yourself. Your boyfriend that you’ve been dating for the last few months didn’t really like eating you out and wasn’t all that good at it.

“It’s the middle of June,” you pointed out, “it’s too hot for a fire. But then again knowing you and Lola you’ll be all over that room before the nights over.”

“I know,” Dieter said with a small growl of anticipation in his voice as he palmed himself through his sweats thinking about it, “Fuck it, give me the jacuzzi ocean room.”

“You got it boss,” you said, selecting the room.

The two of you sat in silence for a moment, the only sounds were the clicking of the keyboard on your MacBook and Dieter’s low breathing. Once you finished all the bookings you said, “I’m forwarding your reservation and the tickets to your email.”

“Thanks,” Dieter muses and then mechanically says, “what are you doing this weekend?”

“Matt’s taking me to that new Italian place 7th St,” you responded.

“Oh so Matty Cakes finally decided to step up his game and take you someplace nicer than Wok n’ Roll?” Dieter teased.

“Hey I love Wok n’ Roll,” you pushed back, “And not everyone can afford a sunset dinner cruise for dinner. Some of us are just regular people instead of big superstar actors.”

“Urgh thank God I’m not one of those,” Dieter responded.

You and Dieter had been friends for nearly ten years now. You met for the first time at your drug dealer's house, the two of you happened to be buying cocaine at the same time. Honestly you don’t even really remember the details the first time you met. You had come to LA to try to be a dancer while also attending UCLA. You had spent most of your early twenties shamelessly partying, doing drugs to keep your energy up to dance, working as a bartender, and going to school. You hadn’t declared a major in anything, you had a long list of ideas of what you wanted to do but couldn't decide on any one thing.

You and Dieter would spend a year running into each other before you two really became friends. You ran into each other at your dealer's house, at the bar where you worked and even a few parties. At the time Dieter had been a smaller actor, getting a few small parts as a supporting cast in a few movies and a handful of appearances on Law and Order. You two would make small talk, giving life updates in between weeks or months of not seeing each other.

One thing was perfectly clear from the moment you met Dieter. He was absolutely handsome and he knew it and was a total slut. But despite that he never did hit on you. Albeit you had a different circle of friends and there was a never ending line of hot women that threw themselves at Dieter. He was also twelve years your senior which may have played a part in why he never hit on you.

Your life had come crashing down one night in October. When you had moved out to LA to attend school you already had a brother living out here. He had left your home town a few years back. He was the one that had convinced you to move out here and to apply for UCLA. Your brother was your best friend, you had been so mad when he announced that he was moving out to LA when you were still a teenager stuck at home.

Then everything went to shit. You had gotten a call from Cedar Sinai letting you know that Brandon had overdosed. You were beyond devastated and catatonic for months after that. You had stopped eating, gotten fired from the bar you worked at because you kept calling out and dropped out of classes because you couldn't keep up with the work anymore. You spent endless months in your tiny shitty apartment, only ever leaving for groceries. It was then and there that you had decided to quit. You flushed everything you had and never did any drugs since then.

Then about six months after Brandon’s death you were sitting at an Ihop at 3am. You needed to get out of your apartment after months of being a recluse and you only picked his Ihop because there was no one else in it. Then Dieter walked in alone and went to sit at the counter and ordered a coffee. You sat in the booth, minding your own business until Dieter saw you.

He exclaimed excitedly about how he hasn’t seen you in awhile. How he even went to the bar you worked at asking for you. Your drug dealer had told Dieter that it’d been months since he had seen you. You were surprised to hear this from the eccentric actor. However a few breaths in Dieter had picked up that something was wrong. He sat in the booth across from you, inquiring what happened.

The rest of the night was a bit of a blur. You had told him everything that had happened. He stared at you with those damn puppy dog eyes and listened diligently. He was deeply sympathetic and kind to you that night. You had told him about how you were about to get kicked out of your apartment because you were behind on the rent and out of money. How you had considered moving back home.

Dieter had talked you out of it. He ended up getting you a job as his personal assistant and let you live in his guest house that was off the main house up on the hill in Sherman Oaks. He paid you well, even set you up with his therapist that apparently made house calls. His therapist would come visit Dieter at the main house and then send him to the guest house for you. You always gushed to Dieter about how you couldn't afford to live in Sherman Oaks and a therapist who made house calls. But Dieter insisted, that was the thing about Dieter. If you could get into his inner circle he was loyal to the death. You weren’t exactly sure how you got there but you did.

As the years had dawned on you two had developed a deep friendship. He never once attempted to hit on you which you kind of appreciated. You appreciated Dieter as a friend far more than a lover. That was the curious irony of Dieter, he was loyal to a fault but also went through lovers and girlfriends like you went through your socks. Dieter was far too chaotic for your tastes. It was entertaining to sit on the side lines and watch him make a total ass of himself. He also landed a few dream roles over the years and became a superstar and you were thankful that you got to play a part of that. He really was a brilliant actor and a good friend when he wasn’t being a pain in the ass.

Hours later you were standing in front of the mirror near the front door, putting on the finishing touches to your make up. Matt had texted you saying he was a few minutes away. You grabbed your light blue denim coat and threw it over your black dress and made your way out the guest house. The main house was attached to a long paved driveway that was about thirty feet away from the guest house. A black SUV was parked near the door, a man in a suit was opening the back passenger door.

Lola stepped out wearing a short white skirt with a red tank top with a deep V neck, her bleach blond hair was styled in big curls and an ostentatious diamond necklace laid gently between her tits. She had her face hidden behind big sunglasses and didn’t even give you a second glance. Dieter quickly appeared at the front door making his way down the front steps.

“Damn baby,” He said eyeing her up and down quickly, “You looking fuckin’ amazing.”

“Thank’s hun,” she said, throwing her arms around him as he came down to her.

Dieter immediately placed his hand on her ass as he kissed her deeply. Afterward he looked up at you.

“Damn little black dress tonight?” Dieter said, looking you over while he kept his hand on her Lola’s ass, “Matty Cakes finally getting lucky tonight?”

“You better not call him that when he gets here,” you shot him a warning look, “You know he hates it.”

“I know that's why I keep calling him that,” Dieter smirked playfully, “it’s funny to see him get all pissed.”

You couldn’t tell but you were pretty sure that Lola was rolling her eyes behind her Armani sunglasses.

“So did Dieter tell you that he’s taking me on a sunset cruise tonight?” She chimed in, running her hands up and down Dieters chest while keeping her eyes on you.

“Nope sounds romantic,” you smirked while Deiter looked down at his pleather shoes sheepishly.

“He really is,” Lola said, glancing between him and you, “and then we’re staying at the Marriott near the marina. He really is the sweetest.”

This was something Lola had done from the beginning. You could tell she was the jealous type, she always made a bit of a scene of staking her claim in Dieter in front of you. Despite the fact that you and Dieter had repeatedly told her you two were just friends, Lola still liked to dangle Dieter in front of your face like a shiny toy. Dieter always seemed to tune out whenever she did, he didn’t care for the drama that Lola always seemed to start.

“So where’s Matt taking you tonight? That tacky Chinese place down by the beach?” Lola questioned while still hanging off Dieter.

“Um no we’re going to that new Italian place that just opened up,” You replied trying to be civil.

“Oh I’ve been there so many times already,” Lola purred as if she were bored with the conversation, “word of advice if you wanna fit into that dress of your come summer order a salad. Their pasta dishes are huge.”

“Thanks Lola,” you nodded sarcastically, you were used to her many backhanded compliments.

“Alright well I’m bored,” Dieter said turning back in, “let’s go baby, I wanna go get on the boat already.”

He turned her around and slapped her ass as the two of them climbed into the SUV. As they were pulling out of the driveway Matt’s car drove up and pulled to a stop near you. You went to go get in until he turned the car off and got out.

”Hey, you ready to go?” You asked curiously as he got out.

“Actually we need to talk,” he said as he placed his arms on the hood of the car.

You felt your stomach flip at his words but also wasn’t surprised. In fact you were surprised by the fact that you weren’t surprised by what he was saying, “Okay.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, “I don’t think this is working out for me.”

“Okay,” you said glumly, “why?”

“I just can’t stop thinking about what you had said last time you were over at my apartment when we were watching that movie,” he went on to explain.

“What I said when?” You said trying to rack your brain that night.

“What you said after I finally got you to go down on me,” Matt stated, “about how you used to have a reputation for giving the best blowjobs at UCLA.”

“It was a joke Matt,” you replied with feeling your anger build, “I told you the actual story behind it. It was a stupid rumor that went around my dorm building but everyone knew the truth, they were saying that about me ironically.”

The truth was that you had been blowing this guy you were seeing but you were so drunk that you had ended up puking mid job. It was definitely not funny at the time and embarrassing as hell but over the years you’ve learned to not take life too seriously and it was a little funny now looking back on it. You were young and dumb and luckily made it through those days relatively in one piece.

“Really? Because Travis has been asking me a lot of questions about you lately,” Matt continued on, “he asked me if your reputation still holds up and if I’d be willing to share you with him.”

“What?” You asked shocked, “what the fuck, why would he ask you that?”

“Have you been flirting with him?” Matt questioned.

“No,” you shot back, “he DM’d that one night at like 3 am and sent me a dick pic which I told you about by the way and I blocked him after that.”

“Well now I’ve been hearing from all my friends that they all wanna bone you and I don’t like it,” Matt ranted on, “and now they all know about your UCLA dorm reputation of being a slut and now they wont stop asking me about it.”

“How did they hear that story?” You asked, crossing your arms.

“Huh?”

“How’d they hear that story?” You repeat yourself, “I only told you that story because you’re the one who brought up embarrassing stories after telling me yours. Did you tell them?”

“Look it doesn’t matter how they know,” Matt redirected, “the point is that I don’t want a hoe for a girlfriend and no one’s that good at giving head unless there’s some truth to it.”

“Oh so that’s what this is about?” You asked amused, “so you liked the head I gave you?”

“Well not anymore because now I’m just wondering how many other guys' dicks you’ve had in your mouth and now I’m just grossed out,” Matt said, throwing his hands up, “and I don’t need to hear it from my friends or whatever other dudes you’ve had.”

You stood there in a stunned silence as he got back into his car and drove out the driveway to the gate. Did you just get dumped for being too good at giving head? There’s no way. You didn’t believe that was the real reason, sure you may be alright at it but you didn’t think that you were extraordinarily talented at it or anything. But you could tell from the beginning that Matt’s friends were all douchebags and Matt kind of was too. You wanted to give him a fair chance but you weren’t very attached to him, you didn't even really care that you had just gotten dumped you were just surprised that you were.

Well fuck it, you thought to your self. You had been looking forward to going to that Italian restaurant. Even if it meant going alone and eating a whole damn bowl of pasta by yourself, you’d find a way to have a good evening.

*******************************************************************************

You sipped the red wine from your glass slowly, scrolling on instagram mindlessly. You had blocked Matt and all his douchebag friends. An empty bowl of Alfredo mushroom pasta laid next to you. It had been delicious and well worth the trip. The restaurant was definitely one of sophistication and romance. You had tried to ignore all the couples or families that were out together. You ended up not being able to get a table without having to wait forty five minutes so you opted for the bar. It did you better anyways because then you could have your back to everyone around you and try to ignore the sting of being out alone on a Friday night.

Then out of nowhere a familiar voice came from behind you, “this seat taken?”

Before you even had a chance to respond Dieter slid into the chair next to you. He had his sunglasses on and avoided your gaze, he was rubbing his temple in discomfort.

“What are you doing here?” You question him, “I thought you and Lola were gonna have a cunilingis party in your jacuzzi tub.”

“Yep we didn’t make it that far,” Dieter confessed and got the bartender's attention, “crown whiskey please, neat.”

The bartender nodded and turned to get a tumbler glass.

“Where’s Matty cakes?” Dieter asks, still avoiding your gaze.

It’s only now with Dieter sitting besides you being aloof that you thought to really look at him. The side of his face was a little pinker than normal and there was a small cut on his cheek. You went to grab for his sunglasses, taking them off delicately. His eyes snapped at you with anger while you sighed frustratedly.

“Did she hit you again?” You say hushed toned.

“Well it’s not like I didn’t deserve it,” Dieter replied taking the sunglasses back from you and sliding them up his face, “she was being a bitch, I was being a dick. You know the same old story.”

“You still shouldn’t be allowing her to hit you,” You say sternly, “it’s not right.”

“Eh fuck it,” Dieter said shrugging, “it was more of a bitch slap anyways. I’ve had worse, besides the girls a total psycho. She’s out there throwing a temper tantrum because her rich lawyer boyfriend won’t shell out the $135,000 she needs to go to New York for fashion week.”

“And let me guess, instead she asked you for the money?” You asked unsurprised, taking a sip of wine.

“I would have done it if she didn’t have such a stick up her ass,” Dieter went on to explain, “we were on the dinner cruise and a group of women came up to me and asked for a selfie. She sat at the table and pouted the rest of dinner and before we even got the Marriott she blew up on me because she thought I was eye fucking those women that wanted the picture.”

You weren’t surprised, Lola was incredibly jealous of every other woman that was in Dieter’s vicinity. She had even tried to convince Dieter to kick you out of the guest house even though you and Dieter had always had set a boundary early on of not entering each other’s spaces without notice.

“I don't understand why you put up with her,” you grumbled, “yea she’s hot but there’s plenty of hot women that would line up for you. She’s a selfish manipulative gold digger who’s going to throw a toddler-like tantrum every time she doesn’t get her way. You could do much better.”

“But she’s the one that keeps coming back,” Dieter explained, “and besides when she is in the middle of her temper tantrums the sex is crazy good. We were in the lobby of the Marriott, I tried to off to take her upstairs to make her legs shake all the way to New York, she asked me if I’d give her the money and I made a joke about how she’s like my own personal Vivian Ward and she slapped me and left.”

You rolled your eyes, it sounded like a typical fight between the two of them.

“So where’s Matty Cakes?” Dieter asked now just noticing, “Why you sitting at a bar alone?”

“We’re done,” you said bluntly.

“Good for you!” Dieter said, placing his hand on your shoulder affectionately, “I was hoping you’d wise up and leave his sorry ass.”

“Oh you mean just like how I tell you all the time to forget about Lola?” You pointed out.

“Yeah but you’re a lot smarter than me,” Dieter retorted, “besides you definitely could do better than that ass hat.”

“I’m not sure how true that is,” you responded, swirling the wine in your glass around, “he broke up with me.”

“Why?” Dieter asked, looking over towards you behind the shades.

“Well first off I don’t believe what he said,” you began to explain, “I think he’s full of shit but I don’t know why he’d lie about it. Probably just has a stick up his ass too like Lola.”

“We ought to hook the two of them up,” Dieter responded.

“Please Matt can't afford her,” you retorted simply.

“So what did he say?” Dieter questioned further.

“He said that he’s pissed because a couple of his friends are into me a guess and he told them the story about how I used to have that reputation for giving the best at giving head at UCLA,” you started to explain.

“From that time you ralphed all over that guy when you were drunk?” Dieter questioned, recalling one of the many late night talks you two had over the years, “What did you puke all over him when you were going down on him tonight?”

“No,” you said flatly.

“Hm too bad,” Dieter replied, “he deserves it. So he's pissed that his boys are into you? That’s stupid, if that were me I’d just make it clear to my friends that you're mine and show you off like you deserve instead of being a little bitch about it.”

“You’d think so,” you agreed, “but he said that he agrees with my reputation and doesn’t want a girlfriend that’s too good at giving head because obviously that means that I’m a hoe.”

“Wait so he actually broke up with you for being too good at giving head?” Dieter asked with a furrowed brow. A few people around the restaurant started giving you two funny looks, but you were used to getting stares from Dieter’s blunt openness even in public, “That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard! If you’re that good at it he should be on his knees begging for your mouth every night.”

You shrugged, unsure how to respond. You didn’t really think you were that good at and also agreed that it was a stupid thing to get dumped over. But there wasn’t enough attachment to Matt. You were getting sleepy off the wine, you were ready to put this day to rest.

“Was he good at going down on you?” Dieter continued to question.

“Not really,” you confessed, “he didn’t really like to do it. Even when we were dating I tried to tell him if he wouldn’t do it to me that I wouldn’t do it to him but he bitched, moaned and complained if i wouldn’t.”

“Jesus,” Dieter said, running his hands through his hair, “Alright let’s go back to the Marriott.”

“Go back to your hotel with you?” You asked surprised.

“C’mon,” Dieter said, standing from the bar and tossing a fifty dollar bill on the counter, “let’s drown our sorrows in Mary Jane and we can play scrabble all night.”

[fanficwriter284]

fan i crave chucky angst >:)

Chucky Angst? I got you!

There he sat. His eyes wandering about, searching for anything to distract him. He regretted agreeing to this therapy session, which Tiffany had suggested a few weeks prior. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep he had been experiencing for the last couple weeks, his insomnia making him vulnerable to Tiffany’s constant prying. Whatever it was, he regretted it. That was a concrete fact. He was out of his comfort zone, sitting, facing forward, listening to an annoying ticking. Some machine that rested on the woman’s coffee table, continuously ticking, its small hand, rocking back and forth. He always resulted in fiddling with his coat whenever he grew uncomfortable or anxious, the fiddling always managed to soothe the nerves. However this time his attempt to relax himself failed as the therapists’ eye contact grew more intense, with each tick. Desperate to break the porcelain-like eye contact he shifted his vision to the device that continued to tick.

“Is something bothering you Charles”

“Chucky”

The woman raised a brow as she clicked her pen.

“Excuse me?”

“It’s Chucky not Charles”

She let out a faint grunt at his sudden correction, then followed his line of sight to the ticking tool.

“Is that bothering you”

“Yes, what even is the piece of shit called anyway? '' He mumbled, grabbing the ticker. 

“That’s a metronome”

Chuck inspected it, clearly unamused by its agitating ticking. 

“Do you know–”

“Yes I know what it’s used for…I just forgot the damn name…My dad and grandfather both had one of ‘em in their offices.”

The woman scribbled some form of writing down on her clipboard, and continued to watch Charles handle the tool. After a brief moment he set the metronome down on its side preventing it from ticking. 

“I assume you want me to talk?”

“Well that is the reason you’re here isn’t it?”

Ray clapped his hands together, sinking further into his chair. Pressing his lips against his canines, feeling his ears begin to heat.

“...Truth is Doc I don’t wanna be here…but my wife already made me pay for this damn session…might as well put it to use…Where do you want me to start?”

“Wherever you want”

“Hmph…fine then…let’s go down the fucking rabbit hole”

…

1961

An 8 year old Charles Lee Loman Reinhardt, had barely begun arriving in the United States, leaving behind his homelife in Germany. In a new foreign land, full of new intimidating people that had towered over him. The young lad was not fond of his new home, surrounded by strangers who spoke so odd, in a tongue of gibberish. However his twin brother, Carolus Klaus Reinhardt, had felt nothing but glee upon arriving in the US. To him it was a land of adventure and freedom, or that’s what the pamphlet he had read on the plane informed him. Carolus had been a bright spirit, always joyful and fun loving, the definition of a true optimist, while Charles, was quiet, reserved, and distrustful. The two were forced to live in a town called Hackensack, New Jersey, though he name had been too difficult for young Charles to pronounce, resulting in the young lead defaulting to titling the town Ackensack. Carolus too joined in, in the renaming, finding it amusing despite being able to correctly pronounce it. The people in the town seemed nice for the most part, their smiles wide and toothful. Charles had attempted to reciprocate said smile only to have stunned expressions and faint whispers. He never did such a thing again.

…

Months had passed and the twins had grown used to living in Ackensack. Their parent’s finally had found jobs, and left the two 8 year-olds home alone, with nothing but cheese and crackers in the pantry. The two didn’t mind though. They rarely saw their mother, and as for their father, they had been somewhat relieved he had found work again...away from them. 

…

“Is this really necessary Doc…This is fucking bullshit….”

“Why don’t we talk about how you met Tiffany then…hm?”

Charles scooted backwards into his seat, now fiddling with his finger.

“Fine”

…

1964

A now 11 year old Charles Lee Ray, had been sitting in the front of his class, his head faced down, only listening to the chaotic nature of his classroom. His twin had been put in a separate class, only intensifying the feeling of loneliness that had been bottled inside him. He didn’t care much for the students in his class, especially the other boy’s. Since any time he spoke, a loud laugh came from the crowd, or a mockery of his thick German accent. However, today was different. Someone new was entering his class. The news only brought a hint of interest and curiosity, only for it to fade as quick as it came. 

“Class, I’d like you to meet our new student! Tiffany Valentine! I want you to make her feel welcomed and show her around! Oh Tiffany, take a seat. Anywhere you’d like!”

The young lad tilted his head upward, and examined the new girl. He studied her, noticing every fine detail. She was no doubt taller than him, due to her longer torso. The new girl had short legs, cute cupid lips in the shade of cherry blossom, her hazel eyes appearing to glow and smile, her long wavy chestnut hair, and a smile that had been infectious. Charles felt his pupils dilate at the sight of her, and his throat tightening as she seemingly waltzed towards him. He felt his body tense as she sat down beside him.

…

“Chucky, can you describe how you two became friends? You informed me that it hadn’t gone smoothly”

“.....alright”

…

Lunch had dismissed the kids from their classes, causing hoards of children to run to the lunch line and others to bolt off to the lunch tables. Charles meanwhile set off on his own like usual, having no money to purchase a lunch, and having none packed, leaving the lanky boy starved. He paid no mind to his growling stomach, and sat with his brother, enjoying his company after a long and stressful day. 

“...I think that girl likes you Charles…she’s hasn’t taken her eyes off you”

“Du bist verrückt. Sie ist einfach das neue Mädchen ... Sie würde mich heute im Unterricht nicht allein lassen. "Wenn überhaupt, ist sie einfach einsam.”

(You're crazy. She's just the new girl...she wouldn't leave me alone in class today. If anything, she's just lonely.)

“Or maybe she wants to be your friend”

“I don’t need friends Caro” The young boy replied agitated at his brother’s comments.

“Well she’s walking over here”

“WHAT”

Charles whipped his head around to confirm that his twin hadn’t been lying, gulping at the sight of the new girl walking up to him giving a shy wave, carrying around a relatively large book.

“Is it okay if I sit with you two”

The young brunette had been met with two extremely different facial expressions, despite coming from identical faces. It was rather off putting from how similar yet different the two were. 

“Why are you following me?” He pressed leaning uncomfortably close to the new girl.

She pulled away, scooting closer to the edge as Charles pushed forward. 

…

“Now why were you so, what's the word ...defensive…towards the young girl” The woman interrupted, clicked her crimson pen against her cheek, eyeing Chucky. 

“I don’t trust people…”

“....Why exactly?”

The redhead dug his finger nails deeper into the couch, growing evermore agitated. 

“If you’d quit interrupting maybe you’ll find out” He bellowed, side-eyeing her.

“...Alright then carry on” she responded clicking her pen against her thigh

…….

After shoeing the unwanted pest away the two twins ventured off home. Charles was walking rather fast paced compared to his brother, causing Carolus to pick up speed inorder to catch up with his twin.

“I still think you were a bit mean to Tiffany earlier” He commented, clutching onto his backpack straps as he spoke. 

“Really? I thought I left her off easy” 

The younger twin sighed, slightly saddened by Charles’ response. He reached out a hand and placed it on his brother's shoulder, causing a sudden halt. 

“What?”

Carolus pulled away still fiddling with his backpack straps. 

“I….I just…I just wish you were nicer to her…..that’s all….”

Charles’ hushed himself, seeing his twin's saddened expression. The boy calmly approached his brother lightly grabbing his wrists. 

“I–I’ll try….okay….”

Carolus’ gave a shy grin satisfied with Charles’ answer, with that out of the way the two raced the other home. With Charles being the victor, as always. Once the boys arrived home they were shocked to see their mother…since she rarely was home. Upon the realization of their mothers presence, the boy’s quickly fell silent, locking eyes with her. The three simply remained still, not uttering a single phrase, the only sound being their father’s ticking metronome. The moment was cut short as Mila shuffled her way out of the house, refusing to speak to her sons as she walked out. 

The boys unpacked their things, refusing to talk about the awkward encounter with their mother.

…

“Why do you have such a strained relationship with your mother Chucky?”

“I didn’t….’cuz she wasn’t there…she never was…I knew she never loved me….I never really cared though because I didn’t love her either”

The woman lowered her head, and motioned for the redhead to continue one with his story.

…

The twins and once again sat at their usual spot, chatting amongst themselves, till Caro noticed a shy head peeking from behind a wall. Grinning at the silly attempt to spy on them, Carolus excused himself, going to get water from the fountain, which had only produced heated liquid that only the desperate folk drank. 

“....H–Hi” The new girl spoke, extending her hand towards Charles.

“....Hi…” Charles quickly checked his tone, trying to be nicer to the brunette.

“I’m Tiffany”

Charles sighed, not in the mood to strike up conversation. “I know…Everybody knows you.”

Tiffany lowered her head, causing her bangs to conceal her hazel eyes. Seeing this as her attempt to establish a greeting Charles decided to play along.

“...I’m Charles…And my twin over there ...That's Carolus…”

Delighted at his response the young girl extended her hand, with a large grin spread from cheek to cheek. Her sudden cheerfulness shied the young boy away, but remembering his manners shook her overly moisturized hand anyway. 

“So wanna be friends?”

Charles scooted an inch away, curling his around his torso, trying to calm himself.

“I guess”

“GREAT! I don’t have many friends”

Charles suppressed an eyeroll, trying to keep his cool, tightening his grip around his midsection.

“...Gee….Wonder why…”

Much to his relief Carolus reappeared smiling, glad that his brother had finally made a friend.

… 

“Why do you put a wall around you Charles…making it so difficult to allow people in?”

“...Aren’t you the damn therapist…you tell me”

Clearly dissatisfied with his answer, she clicked her pen and scribbled a note in her little book. Which had brought great annoyance to Chucky.

“Alright then, carry on…” she spoke again once again clicking her pen

Her response caused Charles' thin patience to snap.

“Would you knock it off!?’’

The therapist leaned back into her chair straightening her posture, “I’m not doing anything Charles”

“EXACTLY YOU HAVEN’T DONE SHIT! ALL YOU’RE DOING IS SITTING THERE WHILE I TALK! AREN’T YOU SUPPOSED TO DO SOMETHING? AIN’T THAT WHAT I’M PAYING YOU FOR!?”

Before the doctor could get another word in, he continued on to rant.

“YOU KNOW FORGET THIS SHIT"

Before the therapist could stop him he pushed passed her slamming the door behind him, struggling to hold back tears. All those memories had come flooding back. The carefree laughter of his twin, to his still corpse resting peacefully in his coffin. He regretted everything that afternoon.

[blindrapture]

("And here we are, those that skipped. Jordan was coerced into becoming a European terrorist, earning the name 'the White Jester.' He floundered his way through France and Spain, encountering some weird rabbit holes and seeing a lot of death. Then he came back to England, and he and Donnie defeated the Harlequin, their powerful abuser, in the town of Blackpool. There will be other important plot details I skimmed over, but bringing attention to them here would tip my hand to those who didn't skip. It's okay. There's plenty of story left, and no more to skip.")

SATURDAY JUNE 18TH, 2011 (In the Name of Comcast, We are Blessed for this Pornography)

7:15 AM What a beautiful day outside, just lookit that beautiful red sky! It looks just about ready to hug. I want to hug the sky. Don’t you, journal? I do. :D

7:23 AM There’s a goddamn zombie in the kitchen. Just one. He’s slowly looking around. He looks half-comatose. I wanna say he looks like an adult’s mind trapped in a little kid’s motor skills. I’m gonna go get Donnie. We need to get outta here, anyway. And yeah, journal. I kept my promise. Well, half. I told her it felt so strange, after what Mist the Harlequin did. So she respected that, though I tried my best. I feel almost like a slut. But that’s not fair, journal, it’s not; I’ve read, y’know, about abuse victims and they think really badly of themselves and.. I mean, I guess.. I’ll get over it. Oh, I don’t have to get Donnie; she’s coming down now.

8:01 AM She’s very affectionate today. I’m still getting my mind together. I guess the fact that I killed the Harlequin is still—wait, no, that’s not true, is it? She’s not even dead. I don’t think she can even be killed. We’ve just tried our best to trap her in a freezer. Ohh god, I need to talk more with Donnie about thaaaat.

8:24 AM She says she’s been thinking about that, too. We’ve agreed that we really need to get out of here. But we’re not sure where we’d go. We’re gonna go out, look around. There’s gotta be something, y’know?

8:30 AM Going into town. There’s gotta be something, gotta be. Otherwise all that craziness last night would have been for nothing.

8:38 AM Internet cafe. Internet’s not up, is it? Half this shit doesn't even work.

8:41 AM This computer works. ..but the internet doesn— IT DOES,WAY TO GO INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDERS, THEY’RE THE REAL HEROES It’s just really slow! Heh, ain’t that always how it is? aim aim aim aim AIM EXPRESS FUCK YEAH WHO’S ON, okay, it’s 8 AM so it’s about 3 AM back in the States, but who the fuck is gonna be on? ..Paul Botsford. That’s a surprise. Haven’t spoken to this guy in ages. Old old friend!

8:53 AM Paul’s not been hit by the apocalyptic shit too bad; Sandy Springs is a really quiet place. I’ve been trying to explain my situation so far, with the Harlequin and Spain and all that crazy shit. Paul’s response? “DAMN! Dude, everything bad happens to you.” I.. can’t help but concur. Donnie seems to have found a computer with internet, too, so I guess we might get to stay here awhile. WHOO.

8:59 AM TVTropes looks as fun as ever. Even in the face of the end of all life as we know it, tropers remain caring and organized. I love that. ..oh my god, my thread in OTC is just filled with posts asking if “DJay’s okay.” Somebody mentioned how “there was news of a troper gathering in Blackpool falling victim to the Harlequin,” and.. hang on, right-click that, copy… New Post. Right-click, paste. [[quoteblock]] and [[/quoteblock]] bookending. Now, “The Harlequin isn’t a problem anymore.” What a dramatic entrance. :D I’m explaining most of what I can to these people. “And also, the doubletap really does help, thank you to whoever suggested that.” Explaining how quite a lot of British tropers are unfortunately no longer with us. Kay, posted my stuff. I also asked if anyone had any idea where I could go.

9:12 AM OH HEY PORN

9:13 AM “HOT Rachael-on-Rachael Action!!!” Nah, I prefer dominant women; I’ll pass. “How I Tamed A Rake With My Penis” That just looks like a guy in white latex. “ESCAPE to the UNIVERSE of ONLY NAKED WOMEN!!!” I like how it was done in the style of a B-list horror movie, but I’ve been to that universe. It wasn’t that good. “Rubbing My Balls In A Zombie’s Face” Exactly What It Says On The Tin, and as boring as it sounds. “spider cat gives eight handjobs at once” o___o I guess bestiality’s okay now that civilization’s dead. “THE WOMAN WITH TESTICLES CLICK HERE” …*clicks* “VIAGRA VIAGRA HOT SEX VIAGRA” Yeah no, we still have spam. “SLENDER MAN TOUCHES KIDS” ……that’s what he does? I can’t even tell what’s going on in this; there’s too much distortion! “KINKY SEX HERE” The video description says “help.” What is this? ..oh god. The Harlequin only made me write stuff down. I guess that’s what happens if she sees you have a video camera and internet. o_e Well, I’ll hand it to ‘em. It’s kinky. Okay, enough of that. None of that stuff was much good. I mean, the woman with testicles was interesting, but I wouldn’t fap to any of this shit.

9:25 AM ”Entry #42.” Mister Wagner kept going with Marble Hornets? Heh, I imagine he wouldn’t have much trouble making horror now.

9:30 AM Holy shit. The first minute is just Jay grabbing a shotgun and shooting the Operator in the face. Well, the lack of face. Now Tim’s in the shot. He has a knife and is wearing his mask and he’s asking to join forces, as “The Operator will be back, and in greater numbers.” ..wait, what? O_O That’s a plot twist, Tim. Now Cool Guy came in, or Blasky or Hoody or whatever you want to call him, and he said he’s totheark and they’re joining forces. Now this is a survival video log. Bastards are copying me!

9:48 AM Advertisement for “The Camper Festival.” “IT’S FREE!” “SUCH BIG NAMES AS RUSH GENESIS METALLIC DREAM THEATRE MEGADEATH MASTODON OPETH YES PINK FLOYD GENTLE GIANT KING CRIMSON and many more out there as we locate them!” The fact that they misspelled “Metallica,” “Theater” (it’s a name, so the original spelling applies universally), and “Megadeth” really annoys me. But I gotta admit, it’s a pretty damn good festival. I should go back some day before the bands revolt. The wording on the rest of the page is pretty weird, too. I take it English wasn’t their first language, whoever wrote this.

9:53 AM Still no new replies to my thread. That’s okay; I’ll check back soon.

10:27 AM I’m feeling pretty hungry. Donnie says she is, too, so.. food time!

10:45 AM FOOD, oh my god lots and lots of endless FOOOOD. Flan, crisps, soda, sausage rolls, more flan, chocolate milk efsgji0b BEER. Oh my god. Beer. Oh my god I can have the heavier stuff now. FUCK YEAAAAAAH

11:02 AM I finally stopped throwing up, oh my god. Shit, that stuff tastes horrible.

11:11 AM I WISH I HAD A GIRLFRIEND. Yep, I’m back to wishing for that. …actually, I wish we could find a great way to get as far away as possible.

11:14 AM I’m gonna take Donnie to the beach. Why? ‘Cause I feel like it. :3

11:29 AM Wow, the beach has a lot of junk all over it. Like, lookit this! What is this? It’s a stinkin’ flyer! For what? What could possibly need a flyer in the apocalypse? ..actually, this is quite good. Oh my god. It’s an advertisement for a boat going to America. June 29th, 2011. This year. In a week n’ a half. The R.M.S. Exodus. The flyer says this’ll be its last voyage; it’s never coming back. It’s in Liverpool. Fuck, that’s close.

11:37 AM I showed Donnie. She thinks, if it doesn’t crash and burn, it could be our ticket out. It could be our unicorn. I need to know how close Liverpool is. BACK TO THE CAFE!

12:01 PM Google Maps says it’ll take about fifteen hours on foot. Shit, that’s.. yes. We can do that. We can easily do that. We’ll do it tomorrow. I guess we’ll just relax today. ..I guess we need a day of relaxing.

3:45 PM Replies to thread: Only one was any help, and it was talking about “some ship” which is going to America in a week. So yeah, we pretty much hit the jackpot with that flyer. I mean, both of us wanna leave England for some reason or other. It really is perfect! I just wish it wasn’t over a week away. D:

4:38 PM IMed with Danny. Told him about the Exodus. He asked when I thought I’ll be in the States, and I told him, if the boat gets that far, probably July 4th. We’ve agreed to meet up sometime after the arrival. This’ll be pretty exciting, meeting up with an online friend! Hell, if we can do this, who knows who else we can meet up with?

9:20 PM We had dinner at a fancy restaurant. It was dinner for two. Reminded me way too much of the date with Harly. But then again, I can get over that. I hope. ^^;

10:27 PM Donnie wants to listen to Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence. I love that girl.

10:57 PM Noises from downstairs.

10:59 PM ZOMBIES IN THE LIVING ROOM

11:11 PM I WISH… uh.. hm. I WISH I HAD A GIRLFRIEND. There we go. :D

11:23 PM Donnie’s going to bed. I think I will, too. I mean, big journey ahead of us tomorrow. Plus, it’s fun to sleep with her. (Hahahaha… ha…)

(Attached: “The Internet Service Providers have to deal with a lot of problems in the apocalypse. At first, it was just the Neonate who wanted to take over the internet, but for reasons that will eventually become obvious he gets a little too distracted to keep that up, so the World War Web event doesn’t continue until the Ruin tries for some reason to freeze it all– was he trying to make a pun? From that day forward, the ISP starts issuing its workers flamethrowers as part of their daily protocol. The Morphs are eventually coerced by the Judge to do some catastrophic damage to the world’s servers, but amazingly enough by that point the ISPs have become the equivalent of every country’s defense budget– all remaining governments, in a series of ballsy unprecedented motions, unanimously vouch all their support and give them all the weapons and equipment they need. ISP workers go down in history as war heroes of the apocalypse, keeping watch over all humanity’s information, defending logic itself– and reason!– from otherworldly menaces. Comcast, we salute you.”)

[PREV LOG] [TABLE OF CONTENTS] [NEXT LOG]

[queerflagswithbenton]

About/Please Read!

(updated as of 2/12/2024)

Hello! This is a blog I've been running for about 7 years now (feels weird saying that) for the purpose of compiling identities and flags into one spot! I don't reblog all possible identities, and moreso reblog/post identities I think are cool, interesting, or are something I want to reference later.

~About Me~

I'm a 23 year old nonbinary trans guy that has been out and transitioning since I was 15. I use only he/him pronouns, and consider myself gay, demisexual/romantic, and greyplatonic. Queer identities has been a special interest of mine since I realized that I wasn't exactly binary and went down a huge rabbit hole to figure out what words fit me best (and took me until I was 21 to fully realize I could be both nonbinary and a trans guy lol). During that journey, I realized the knowledge I'd retained could be used to help others that have also struggled with their gender (and orientation) journey. Compiling identities into one space has helped me a lot with that!

"Why don't you have a lot of posts about xenogenders and (insert gender system here)?"

It's not because I don't think those terms are valid. They are and I'm happy when people find words that fit them and make them feel comfortable. For me, though, with identities like xenogenders, given as there's so many endless possibilities, this blog would essentially end up being "overrun" by those with less visibility to the ones I really want to reference later. There's lots of awesome xenogender blogs I heavily reccomend you follow if you're looking for that! This is a similar story for why I don't reblog a bunch of alternate or themed flags for terms/flags that already exist. I'm always happy to reblog *updated* flags and more visually friendly alternatives, but tbh this blog is pretty "basic". (Note that there may always be exceptions/something "random" here and there)

Do I accept requests/submissions/questions?

I don't really make flags anymore or edits, so I don't do those requests anymore. I don't mind submissions! But there's no guarantee I'll post them, feel free to if you want, though! Lastly, I am always happy to try and answer questions. I can't guarantee I'll always have an answer, and I may not be able to direct you to someone who can, but I'll always do my best and worst case scenario, I post the ask in hopes someone who comes across it can help better! Also! I cannot give an accurate timeline of when your ask will be answered. I'm not consistently on Tumblr and I can go from checking every few days to not thinking about it for a week or more.

One last note before I move on to my DNI

I'd like to note that this I've been running this blog for such a long time, since I was a teenager, I did once hold some exclusionary mindsets (I was confused about xenogenders for one example and wasn't kind about that.), and in some cases being "on the fence". I've posted about this before but basically, I've gone back pretty far and deleted as much as I could find, but I can't guarantee that some things didn't slip through the cracks. If you see something really old on this blog that is exclusionary, just know I don't hold those beliefs anymore.

DNI criteria:

Please do not interact if:

*tr/nsmed, T/RF, aphobic, ableist, racist, or any other form of bigotry.

*you're a purely NS/FW blog. I don't want younger followers seeing adult content blogs reblogging my flags, so please don't reblog to any blogs that are mature in content.

*you stigmatize any mental health disorders, I don't wanna see that

*Pro-ED blogs or any other blogs that encourage genuinely harmful behaviors (I'm not sure if this form of content goes by any other name now?)

*Post a lot of gore/blood. Just a personal thing, not me hating or judging!

*people who want to start discourse. I really don't want this blog to be related to discourse in any way.

[kandifling]

Dan's backstory ★

Dan was born into a family that seriously did not care about their kids. Danialle was the second oldest, so for the first few years of moon's life they didn't have to worry about their siblings dying of starvation. But stars older sibling, left the moment they turned 18. Leaving a 11 year old autistic child to take care of 4 other kids (and three on the way) with little to no help from their parents. And it wasn't any help that there was always their uncle around.

You might think that this uncle would be useful in helping the kids. Wrong. That man could be Satan himself, especially since he would force the kids to do the most inappropriate things ever. This includes making him meals, helping him shower (he could do it himself, he was perfectly healthy) and 'play games' with him, if you catch my drift. Disgusting. Luckily he moved out with his girlfriend when Dan was 13, so he was even less help. The kids didn't really mind though, nobody liked him.

Anyway, when Dan was 14 a accident happened. Stars dad got a little too drunk, and ended up telling a officer what he let his brother do to his kids, and how he and his wife never even see them. You can guess how quickly CPS got their asses. Taking away all of the kids and putting them all in prison for a few months. Dan was the only one to not be adopted during that time (it was mostly because they were 15 and has a big ass ego. Also the fact the have autism. That for some reason gave people a reason to not adopt them) so they were given back to their parents once they got out of prison. But since the parents were legally no longer allowed into any bar or area that sells any kind of alcohol, they went through massive withdrawal symptoms. Making them both extremely aggressive. Moon's mom died of withdrawal (and a edible overdose) and that made their father even more aggressive, so they started physically abusing star. This got so bad (literally like even leaving star room, would get the shit beat out of them) and Dan ended up running away and telling the cops about their mothers death (Her body sat it the house for a week or so because their dad was a phyco and didn't feel like leaving) and the abuse, getting them permanently taken away. And the father back in prison.

The orphanage wasn't the best living space ever, but it was infinitely better then their former area Dan was living in (To be honest anything would be better then that place. Maybe hell but that's just a thought.) Dan was the only sibling still living in the same town as they were born in, they knew nobody and didn't care for anybody either. They coped by drowning themselves in books (can't think about trauma if your reading a really good book :D) so they figured out their special interest (★ Space ★) and pretty much only focused on school and space. And also ways to piss off the owner of the orphanage (wasn't a super nice guy, he was super strict. But he wasnt an asshole, Dan was though.)

Dan wasn't adopted. At all. They stayed in that center until college, where they luckily started at 18 and ended at 28. (TEN YEARS AT COLLEGE DUDE.) Star adored being a astronomer, having most of their college payed off by Grammy in Alaska (hey where were you when I was being abused- oh you were dying of some rare illness? Oh ok.) And scholarship things from literally having the best grades in literally everything, so luckily they didn't have to go through debt. (I have to give them something alright? Imma let them be happy once.) But nothing lasts forever (see we can't let them be happy forever.) And since they were one of the only non-binary (AFAB) workers, alot of moon's coworkers didn't take them very seriously, and one of them even went far enough to try and 'take advantage' of them (were trying to not get banned here. (Guess what company they work for.) and Dan was really trying to get out of the toxic situation they were definitely in (they just got out of one, they don't wanna go back down that rabbit hole) then, they found a advertisement of Lizberts expedition, and took that chance and ran!!

So now Dan's on Snaktooth, they are having a fun time, not really interacting with most of the others unless they have to (you can freaking guess why) but once they got used to being around all the new people (not really 'new' actually, Snorpy, Floofty, and gramble lived in the same orphanage as them for a bit, but they all were moved out into other orphanages. But they all never really met so they wouldn't have any idea.) Dan opened up into this egotistical, overly confident, bastard. Yup thats right. That's Dan's personality for yah. A fucking asshole. That can't figure out social cues and hates the sun (ew bright light bleeghhh) and certain kinds of blankets (eww weird texture blaaahghh)

Dan fought with Wiggle at the big fight. Mostly. They tried to stay out of it (don't go searching for fights kids) but they heard star name out of wiggles mouth and promptly stuck up for themselves. (it was something about their ego, although they shouldn't really be talking to be honest.) Dan left almost immediately after the fight. Don't stick around where trouble lies. Also run away from your problems don't deal with them first hand. (This is definitely talked about.) + The impending realization they have a crush on a certain scientist (wink wink nudge nudge *insert dad joke here*) was also a motivation to leave (don't get attached, and DEFINITELY don't fall in love)

Dan went to sugerpine woods, literally because it was high up, good look at the stars + the moon from there.

And that's pretty much it :) Im gonna add some fun facts about Dan now because I wanna talk about them but I feel awkward talking about them to other people live so imma do it now. (This feels like a massive info dump I don't know why)

Dan has a weird sense of humor. Like a gen Z kind of humor but its even stranger.

They just yell out some stupid BS if they feel like it. They're mostly trying to get some energy out but it always scares the shit out of gramble (Not on purpose. Mostly)

Hates Dr pepper. They just don't like it!

Loves Rats, Cats, and Halloween decorations. And also the feeling of flower petals. And space. Don't forget about the stars..

Gives you moon/star themed items when you do their letter requests ★

And that's it everyone!!! If you got any questions go ahead and ask them!! I love talking about this mf :)

And that's a wrap!!!!!

[mtnkat3]

Th.9.29.2022 8.52pm est.

I really needed to think after reading..

& write in my diary to deal with my spinning thoughts.

Especially as my afternoon involved going to ups & usps to complete the last of my financial forms.

Got QDRO signed!

And wh not having a clue that I was gone. If I gave a damn what he thought I'd really be upset. Now..🙄🤨🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️just.. wth ever.

But then.. dealing with my mom's behavior.. has been mean by phone & text during last 3 weeks. Sigh. & getting like 20+ mosquitoe bites. Dang vampire varmints! 😋🙄

Then... wh well... had to feed the warthog.

So I'm finally sitting now & can try & organize my thoughts, & to be calm.

All I will say is..

I cannot control what other people think, say, feel, or do.

I learned my lesson this year.

Also.

Be kind to one another. Please.

This world needs to heal.

[More near the end.]

Also that control is not only a human condition, but that we are in control of nothing.

Not the breath we breathe. Not the number of beats our hearts will have in our lifetimes.

But as there's nearly 9 Billion people on this planet I do not expect every person to like me, understand me, or want anything to do with me.

And as there's ~300~400 million blogs on tumblr, sometimes I wonder what is the percentage that's actually real people.

But I also cannot expect all those people to like me.

Heck, I lost over 300 followers last year I guess. I don't know if because me going quiet, or because I changed to less reblogging & more talking about my actual real life, thoughts & feelings.

But that's their right.

And if there's people out there being ..cruel to me.. without ever having interacted with me...

Is that really the way we show mature, adult behavior?

I don't believe so.

I know most people on tumblr come for fun & games & to not be serious.

That's not me though.

I am real.

Read. My. Bio.

I am going thru the hardest time of my life presently & I feel that it's part of my witness for God, that I expose my vulnerable self so that someone might find some help from my very personal struggles, stumbles & d'oh! embarrassing moments.

Otherwise..

Everything I've gone thru..

No. I will not go down that rabbit hole.

This is all COMPLETELY outside my comfort zone.

I am the quiet, reserved, but smiling & helpful woman that doesn't like to talk..

I've opened up to very few people in my life. And I've been burned.. oh how.. even.. Oh I've been burned since the minute the nurse caught me as I was borne from hitting the floor. Because a family party prep was more important than my birth.. Yes, these are things for my counselor.

But sometimes it's a catharsis, to take the power out of hurtful moments of life, to talk about things.

And if I help others know that even an Alpha submissive woman can struggle...

oh boy how I wanna laugh at that one!

It's actually that as an Alpha sub I struggle with my nature.. A LOT!

[& thank God for having made 2 real friends back in 2011-12 on fetlife.] I finally understand my nature now & am not ashamed that the struggles of being an Alpha/sub are real.

But for a Alpha sub.. to want control of life, but know ... control.. it's an elusive thing.

& then to learn how to submit..

especially when I have run a household under a narcissist heel for 20+ years.

But don't mistake me. I don't back down from a fight. I am stubborn, mule headed as a billy goat.

But God Almighty is rebuilding me.

Annealing my spine, & strengthening my knees to bend to Him. But not pushing down my chin.

So I will maybe explain a bit as to why I'd rather talk than reblog what everyone else does...

I. Am. Original.

Yes. I like all the pretty pictures, the romance, the thinks that make me think, laugh, guffaw, or Roflmao.

But it's more important for me at present to deal with well.. being a good human being.

I think the old saying is, "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all..?"

There's that.

But I also want to build people up.

Yes, I'm dealing with a lot of stuff now but I still care.

I can't stop caring just because I'm fighting my way out of the pit.

If anything I'm wanting to help people use me to climb out themselves!

I cannot stand to be mean.

Don't mistake me, I'm not a pushover.

But if I thought it were safe for me to stop & help someone on the side of the road, I would. But living near the Atlanta metro 'burbs... not really safe.

But then.. most people. Well. I'm not usually messed with. Don't know if that's my aura or whatever but I don't let peoples scowls & pinched looks get to me.

Maybe they just need to go to the bathroom! 🤭

maybe me being tall as the average male height bothers them,.. is outside of their understanding.

Maybe when I wear heels..

& got a wolf whistle across an intersection as I got out of a car..

maybe its negative things like jealousy & envy.

But people. Don't be like that. !!!

You think finding long enough jeans but yet will accommodate my chubbiness is fun? I HATE HIGHWATERS. Or sleeves that actually reach my wrists & don't ride up. I think the advent of jeggings, stretchy denim & skinny jeans is my saving grace! Lmao! I do get tired though of needing to be creative or defaulting to knit. Just.. sucks.

Just.. goes back to my goals. Lose the wh. Lose/detox the weight. Then my body will heal. Might even feel shocking! Grin. I mean getting my hair & nails to grow.. makes me a giddy, excited bouncy kat!

Come on people..

I don't want to be anybody but me.

So why doesn't everyone want to be their best selves too???

This isn't George Orwell 1984 here. At least I pray to God that we aren't on our way there!

Come on! Be your own individual self! Be whom you are meant to be.

And I will be me!

There's nobody in the world like me, just as everyone else is unique too! Be happy about that!

And let me be. Ok?

I don't expect anyone to understand my life's path.

I can't understand every rock I've stumbled on so why would I expect anyone else to?

Nor can I expect anyone to understand my soul's journey for my Mate... /s or whatever the heck God's Plan is!

I am struggling to understand why..

Argh! Damn whys!!!

But I know this..

God has made sure that my gut instinct is that he... sigh... is real.

That he... chewing lip. knows me.

And most importantly.. that he .. loves me.

As the woman I am now.

Even when I have stumbled badly, have things about my body, & my life, to improve.

I know this. As I know that he.. is aware of my thoughts & feelings & struggles. I know he.. is out there.. watching.. & sending me his love. God makes sure I know. Even when the adversary has shattered my self esteem & confidence to smithereens. Even when even writing this has me tearing up. I know that he.. whimpering sob. Understands.. these are my love letters.. That I'm being encouraged by the beauty of life, so that I focus on that & getting myself out. So that God let's him.. know... I am free. I feel him.. sigh.. protecting me. This is my sensitive, intuitive, empathetic.. nature.

I cannot explain to anyone anymore than that. I just don't know how to.

And really, I don't want to.

What I want.. to be in my soul's Mate.../s sigh. Ugh. God. Help me. Please?????

To be in his.. arms. Period. Forever. To get into the forest with him.. & build our life. Only venturing into humanity when we want to.

What I really want.. is to stand beside him.. lip chew.. & make sure he.. doesn't feel alone. That he has his partner thru all of life's storms. That he feels like I'm the other half of his puzzle.. & we fit perfectly together..side by side.

I really don't care what anyone but God, my soul's Mate.../s.. chewing lips.. my friends that have shown me care, kindness, love & support.. my heart's family.. then distantly what my family, & his.. more so.. thinks.

The world, & people who are ok with being mean & acting like their actions because the anonymity of social media.. have no consequences ..

Well.. that's just bad.

Maybe sucking a rotten egg will make such people's disposition more kind to someone they don't really know.

I am of the mindset, our behavior has consequences.

I strive daily to act, think, speak, write thoughtfully, kindly, & with care of those I care about.

To be .. a better woman & human being.

Be kind.

Because a kind word to someone can stop them from derailing & spiraling mentally & emotionally.

Being kind costs you nothing.

But can mean a smile to another person.

Be kind.

Because it's the most beautiful Gift you can give another human being.

Being kind opens up the world.

It's like honey to Pooh Bear!

.....

I honestly don't know why my thoughts have to spill out like this..

But they seem to be God's Plan.

So I will continue.

Obeying God's Will is more important than any human comprehension or criticism.

Wherever.. whomever..

I love You.

I always have.

I always will.

I will never stop.

Never give up.

I never can.

I believe wholeheartedly.

~True love never dies & true love always waits.~

I love You.

I will be working as I wait..

Mountaintop, or on a dock..

Matters not.

I will wait for You.

Forever.

God help me. Please???

Your trembling, humbled, listening with my soul quiet.. daughter,

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix. 🌺

👩🤓☔💡⚓🙏🙇‍♀️🌂🔗⛓🧰⚙⚒🛠⚔⚖🗽 🐯🐾🐐🦉🐢🐛🦋🌱🌹🌺🌻🌷🌳🧶🧵⌚⚡🌠🗝🔱⚜💝♠️🧩♾🌎🎯🧭🥧🍁🧣🏕🕯🎶💤

Th.9.29.2022 11.44pm est. Diary.

Gifs. Writing & kindness

Fr.9.30.2022 12.29am

[neonscandal]

9 Anime to Watch if You Want to Feel Like 👇🏾

I wanna go to war! I want a lightsaber! AHHHHH! 💪🏾

Sometimes, ya just wanna see heads roll. Following the path of a "righteous" or... morally ambiguous person with a mission wreaking havoc against insurmountable odds (cue the plot armor). This collection just happens to be bite sized for your viewing pleasure. Check out the short series/movie recs below for good action. Since that feeds into a lot of sub-genres, there's more of a focus on adventure or drama (as opposed to horror or gore). ⚠️ Most of these recs are for mature audiences so be advised!

Michiko and Hatchin (series)

Filed under: "I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me." Michiko is equal parts lethal and lovely. In fact, her looks often leave those who seek to capture her unaware of how big a threat she truly is. She is reckless and relentless with a single minded determination. The story starts out as a quest for a man but evolves into one of camaraderie between the titular characters. TBH I'd love more WOC led action series/suggestions.

Sub/Dub | Funimation, Crunchyroll

Trigun (series + OVA)

When @elaine2895 asked some of my favorite characters, the reflection reminded me of one of my favorite anime when I was younger. The series follows Vash the Stampede, a wandering gunman who draws the ire of those he comes across as he leaves chaos in his wake or, worse, inspires fear in the very civilians he makes it a point to save. The bounty on his head pretty much guarantees he will never know peace but he continues to roll along until he's forced to confront his past.

Sub/Dub | Funimation, Crunchyroll, Hulu

Samurai Champloo (series)

I almost added Samurai Champloo to this list instead but I'm glad I held out. It's a great addition to this list, I just happened to find the fight sequences to be particularly beautiful and the soundtrack is stellar. Fuu embarks on a mission to find a samurai who smells of sunflowers with Mugen and Jin begrudgingly in tow. While Mugen and Jin manage to stave off their animosity toward one another to work together as her body guard, they manage to make new and exciting trouble along the way. With Fuu's quest driving each of them forward, all three of them are forced to to come to terms with their separate pasts on their journey together.

Sub/Dub | Crunchyroll, Funimation, Hulu

Gangsta. (series)

See those tags up close and it just may be the last thing you see so let that be a warning. Nico and Worick are handymen who specialize in doing the dirty work no one else is really capable of doing. In a city overrun with corruption and sin, they play their role to maintain a sense of balance for those around them. So when a new force rears its head in Ergastulum, causing trouble for their esteemed contacts, they handle it the only way they know how. By any means necessary.

Sub/Dub | Funimation, Hulu

Banana Fish (series)

I try to keep recommendations diverse so the fact that this series wound up on this list before then ending up on this list of favorite characters...? It so squarely fits into this genre, it can't be avoided and it's so captivating. Ash, 17-year old gang leader, is entangled in a conspiracy that grows larger and larger by the day. Having spent too much of his life under the thumb of a large mafia boss, he navigates the rotten underbelly of gangland New York tracking down the origin of a strange drug that made its way to his turf. The very same mafia boss threatens his freedom and life the closer he gets to the truth. Despite the growing dangers associated with exploring this rabbit hole of a drug, his resolve doesn't waver. Where some of these shows tend to burn brightly and fade from your recollection over time, this is definitely one that stays with you (if the rest of my blog is any indication). ⚠️ Pay attention to trigger warnings!

Sub | Prime Video

Cowboy Bebop (series + OVA)

Bounty hunters have the benefit of no one digging too deeply when you show up to collect on an even shadier guys outstanding bounty. Cowboy Bebop pulls back the curtain on the lives of Spike, Jet and Faye as they barely skate by on what little bounties they're able to collect on. The bonds that keep them together are tenuous and it's not always clear what side of the law they're really on. While the show seems relatively easygoing and without a larger mission, eventually everyone has to answer for what drove them to be a bounty hunter in the first place.

Sub/Dub | Netflix, Funimation, Crunchyroll, Hulu

Akame Ga Kill! (series)

Filed under: "I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me", "Don't get too attached" and "That first episode tho 👀" To say the story follows Tatsumi would be a bit misleading, especially considering the titular character is so obviously Akame. Nonetheless, the series kicks off with kind and naive Tatsumi, hoping to raise money for his village, separated from his childhood friends when bandits strike. Finding himself far from the kindness of his village, he becomes ensnared in a greater scheme to combat corruption in the Capital between two opposing forces the Night Raid and the Empire.

Sub/Dub | Hulu, HiDive

Dorohedoro (series)

Filed under: "I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me" Age old story of a man who's transfigured into a reptile works to exact revenge and remember who he was before the transfiguration by kicking lots of ass. Pretty straightforward but things are not always as they may seem. Any questions, ask the guy inside his head.

Sub/Dub | Netflix

Love of Kill

This show takes enemies to lovers a bit literally. It's basically the product of what happens when an unstoppable force (Ryang-Ha the assassin) meets an immovable object (Chateau the bounty hunter). I think they call that the irresistible force paradox. So it goes as Ryang-Ha develops a quick and inexplicable fondness for someone who continues to be a rival and threat to his livelihood. Begrudgingly, Chateau entertains his whims as a means to an end but, eventually, the cost of keeping his company gets to be a little too pricy...

Sub/Dub | Crunchyroll

[shorkbrian]

Oohh how would shouta and hizashi take their submissive readers virginity?

(What to expect - virginity, NSFW, dubcon, noncon. If you’re wondering the type of piercings Hizashi has, they’re dydoes (or kings head) and a pubic piercing. MxM penetration, anal plugs (Hizashi’s wearing one while he diddles u hehe))

Gently, I imagine.

If their darling is submissive, too afraid to run or fight, then there’s no need for them to be harsh.

They can take their time, be sweet and loving.

"Shhhh, you're getting loud." Hizashi holds a fingers to your lips as you lay there, panicked whimpers, distressed whines tumbling out of you.

Shouta huffs at the irony, his fingers working at the button on your jeans, then the zipper, then hooking into your belt loops, tugging the pants down easily as you begin to hyperventilate.

“Hey, hey, breathe with me, you’re alright.” Hizashi places a a hand against your chest, pressing you back against his warmth as he begin to take deep, steady breaths, encouraging you to do the same.

You can’t calm yourself though, eyes wide and fixed on the man in front of you, drawing your legs up and away from him as he rids you of your jeans, trying to keep your panties from his view.

If your wrists weren’t tied together, lashed to each other with soft, black ribbon, you’d be clutching at Shouta’s fingers as they ghost over your calves, up to your knees.

“P-please-” Is all you can whisper, fear settled so thoroughly in your body that you’re almost frozen.

“Don’t worry, I’m going to be gentle. ‘Zashi’s just holding you so you don’t wiggle too much and hurt yourself.” Shouta’s words are measured, steady even when he slips a hand between your knees and forces them apart.

You want to sob, but you can’t. Shouta breathes out a quiet “fuck” as he looks at your panties, running a finger across the waistband.

“She’s shaking like hell Sho.”

“It’ll be fine. It’s just nerves. Everyone’s nervous their first time.”

It’s nerves, it’s fear, it’s terror and dread. You’re horrified, and scared, and you’re shivering as if the room is freezing, even though it’s warm, cozy.

Hizashi dips down, brushes his lips against your neck, and you flinch, your shoulder rising to push his head away, his mustache tickling your flesh.

“Hah, you ticklish? That’s so cute.” The blonde coos, his arms circling around your stomach as his husband begins to tug down your panties. You’re sitting in Hizashi’s lap as Shouta strips you, the two men working together.

The blonde is already shirtless, pants-less, in nothing but boxers. You can feel his warm flesh through your hoodie, pressed against your back.

“My first time, I came in my pants.” Hizashi chuckled, thumbs rubbing at your sides. “Embarrassed myself to tears. The other dude thought it was hot, dropped right to his knees and pulled out my dick and got to suckin’. It kinda hurt, but he was fingerin’ himself at the same time and well, teenage-me was able to get it up immediately.”

You suppose he’s trying to ease your nerves.

Shouta gets your panties off, tosses them to the side as a hand grips each of your ankles, and then you’re spread wide.

A cry gets caught in your throat at the humiliation, Shouta and Hizashi both pausing to peer at your pussy, Hizashi letting out a low whistle.

“Damn, you’re a fuckin’ snack!”

Shouta lets go of your legs, and you snap them shut, closing your eyes as your cheeks burn.

“When I first had sex, I was a one-pump-chump. The girl I was with at the time said it was fine, but I didn’t know how to get her off. I’ve learned a lot since then.” The dark haired man offered his own story, hand slipping between your legs no matter how you twisted or clenched your thighs.

“Wooo! Imagine that, little ole Sho losin’ it after one stroke!”

“That’s what happens when you lose your virginity when you’re thirteen, ‘Zashi.” But Shouta has a gentle grin on his face, and his words held no malice towards his husband. Just two men in love recounting stories.

The dark-haired man leaned towards you, one of his fingers petting slowly over your folds as he did. Shouta wasn’t shy about kissing you, his lips warm, soft, stubble prickly against your skin.

He pulled back, breathing hotly against your lips. “How do you touch yourself? What feels good? I don’t want to overwhelm you, it’s easy to see that you’re sensitive.”

You trembled even harder, sniffling, closing your eyes as his finger still ran softly over your folds, barely touching.

“Sweetie-pop, can you show us? Show us how you want us to touch you down there.” Hizashi’s hands were playing with the edge of your hoodie, easing it up, his warm digits skimming against your skin.

Both men are waiting on your answer, watching you with lust-filled gazes as they run their hands over your skin. They’re already touching you, burning your skin, and you want to scream. All that comes out is a pathetic whimper.

“How do you masturabate? Do you like touching here-?” Aizawa presses his thumb to your clit, wiggles the digit and you tense, shaking your head. 

“-Here?” His fingers trail down to your entrance, one slowly beginning to push inside. You whimper again desperately, shaking your head side to side while looking at the man in front of you with pleading eyes.

“’K, this is gettin’ old-” Hizashi interjected. “I’ll ask one last time, and then Sho’ and I get to touch you however we want to, got it? How do you want us to touch your cute lil’ pussy?”

“I don’t know!” You wail, tears rolling down your cheeks. You’re so overwhelmed, and scared, and you just want to go home.

Neither man moves for a second, but then Hizashi is letting out a an excited sigh, hunching his back so he can kiss at your shoulder before questioning. “You don’t know?”

“I’ve never-never touched my-myself down there.” You manage to hiccup, and Shouta rubs your knee soothingly, his grey eyes trained on your face. 

“That’s alright, there’s no need to cry.” One of his hands cups your cheek, thumb brushing away salty tears. “We just want to make you feel good.”

You’d feel good if they took their hands off of you.

The hand that’s been rubbing over your folds becomes bolder, parting the lips of your cunt even as you try to squeeze your thighs shut. All that does is trap Shouta’s hand against you, his fingers sending little jolts of unsteady fire burning through your tummy.

“Mm, wait, please-” You whimper, desperate to escape this sensation.

Aizawa doesn’t wait.

Hizashi slips his nimble fingers underneath your hoodie, rucks it up over your chest and you burn with embarrassment at being exposed like this. You want to hide your face, but with your wrists bound, all you can do is cover your eyes with shaky fingers.

“Look at ‘er, god, you’re delicious. Just wanna eat you up! Sho, after you finger her, think I could eat her out? I wanna taste.”

His lewd words make you cringe, and you can’t even think about how it would feel, the blonde pressed between your thighs, tongue laving against you over and over-

“One thing at a time, she’s already a bit dazed. Maybe another time.” Shouta’s gently stimulating your clit, brushing his knuckles over it, watching you twitch with each pass of his fingers against the sensitive little organ.

“Alright, relax now, okay? Breath out for me.” The man instructs, and you could almost laugh; if the man thinks you could relax, he’s an idiot-

A wet finger pushes inside of you slowly, and you gasp brokenly, mouth falling open. There’s so much pressure, you feel stretched and it almost burns, but he’s not stopping.

There’s a squelch, and cool liquid rushes over your hole, slips inside as the finger slightly retracts, and you shudder at the feeling. It’s weird and you feel like you can’t breath.

The finger inside rubs at your walls, and your muscles clench at the foreign sensation, unsure whether it feels good or bad.

“Calm down, you’re okay. I’m just stretching you out. Tell me if something feels really good, alright?” Shouta is acting as if he’s speaking to a child, a spooked rabbit, a baby. His eyes keep flicking between your flushed face and your pussy, enamored by the way you suck his finger inside, at the feel of your velvety walls, the slick feeling that he can’t wait to experience hugging his cock.

“I can’t, I can’t, please-” 

“You can, doin’ so good for us sweetie.” Hizashi chirps, and you realize his hands are resting against your bare chest, idly squeezing at your breasts. You had been so focused on his partner’s actions that you had missed his coy advancement. 

One finger turns to two, and two fingers turns to three, and you’re quickly reduced to a sweaty, blubbering mess, begging the men to wait, to slow down, writhing in Hizashi’s lap while his husband violates you.

The pressure fades away to a comfortable stretch, and by the time Shouta begins to move his fingers with intent, you’re already close to your limit. Your thighs are still clenched together tightly, but the dark-haired man has plenty of room to maneuver his hand, moving his fingers in and out, letting his thumb tickle your clit.

You can’t stop your legs from shaking, abs clenching in pleasure, little noises that fall from your mouth without your permission. It feels good now, and Aizawa and Hizashi seem to know it, speeding up their movements, manipulating your body as a team.

The orgasm that washes over you is gentle, the build up to it steady and measured. The pleasure is expected, and yet it still hits you like a train, hips jerking against Shouta’s hand as he continues to finger you through it, a smile on his face as you drench his hand, pussy drooling.

“I’m sorry, oh no-oh no I made a-a m-mess.” You sob, mortified at your body, at your reaction, feeling gross and disgusting and a sweaty mess while both men watch you fall apart.

But Shouta just slips his hand from between your thighs, holds it out towards you expectantly. You’re confused, still trying to hide your face behind your bound hands, but then the man behind you is leaning forward, sucking Shouta’s fingers into his mouth, right next to your face.

You can hear him sucking your juices off his husband’s fingers, feel the shame coloring your cheeks deepen and spread. He’s so noisy about it, licking the digits, running his fingers between them, and your pussy clenches when you catch sight of a piercing nestled in the middle of his tongue.

You feel dizzy.

“Mmm, just like I though-” Hizashi purrs as he cleans his husband’s hand. He pulls back, growls in your ear “-Delicious.”

Then the two men are switching positions, Hizashi handing you off to Aizawa who settles you easily onto your back, head in his lap. Hizashi pulls at your hips, lifting them up to stuff a folded pillow underneath them, and you begin to realize what’s happening.

“Wait! Please! Hold on, I-I-just wait, oh god, please wait!” The fear is evident as your voice cracks pathetically, but you aren’t above begging.

“’Zashi’s a bit smaller than I am, figured that he’ll be nicer to ease you into it. If-” He shoots his husband a glare “-He keeps his cool.”

Hizashi was grinning as he shucked of his boxers, completely shameless as he revealed himself to you. “Hey, can’t blame a man for bein’ a bit excited. I mean, look at this little sweetie, all laid out like this.”

You felt exposed, afraid. Hizashi’s length bobbed against his stomach as he moved forward, grabbing your legs and settling them on either side of his hips.

There was a piercing in his cock, several piercings.

He was circumcised, with a prominent mushroom tip that held three prominent barbells along the edge. Another barbell glinted ominously behind the curve of his dick, settled right at the base on the top, blonde pubic hair trimmed neatly to showcase the piercing. 

“No, no please don’t. I’ll do anything, please, just not this! Please, please-”

“The piercings feel really good.” Shouta murmured, one hand cradling your head, the other pressed to your chest underneath your hoodie, keeping you anchored to the bed as you squirmed.

“I got this one ‘specially for you sweetie!” Hizashi took hold of his dick, pointed it down to show off the barbell in his pubic area, displaying it to you proudly. “It’s supposed to hit your cute lil’ clit when we’re going at it.”

The words washed over you, and the severity of your situation hit you. The planning required to get a piercing, have it heal-plus the idea that he expected to be actively using it with you again and again....

You started bawling.

“P-please! Don’t do this, please don’t! No no no no, no, no-” Your words were garbled, practically nonsensical, but that’s what you were trying to say. Whether or not they could understand you was out of your control.

“Hey, shh, shh. You’re okay sweetie.” The blonde placed a hand on your thigh, but that only served to make you sob harder.

“Calm down, we aren’t going to hurt you. It’ll feel good (Y/N).”

“No-oo! ‘M scared!!” You cried, and if your vision wasn’t blurry from tears, you’d have seen Hizashi’s green eyes soften, his lips twitch downward into a concerned frown. 

The married couple looked at each other, Hizashi hesitant and moved by your teary display, but Shouta was firm.

“You’ll be okay. It’s normal to be a bit frightened during your first time. But ‘Zashi and I have a lot of experience, we’re going to take good care of you.”

You don’t have time to protest, Hizashi settling between your thighs again, those long hands of his guiding his cock to your drooling entrance.

Shouta’s kissing you then, insist, his tongue pressing against your lips, distracting you.

Hizashi pushes inside, you gasp, and Shouta plunges his tongue into your mouth. There’s too much sensation, between the warm rod settling into you and the slimy tongue slipping around your own, and you can’t do anything but cry.

You cry when Shouta pulls back, when he places a soft, uncharacteristic kiss to your nose, brushes your tears away with his hand.

You cry when Hizashi groans, finally seating himself balls-deep in your cunt.

You cry when he pulls out, thrust back in with a smooth roll of his hips, swearing underneath his breath.

Shouta leans over you, grabs his husband by the back of the head and pulls him in for a passionate kiss. Long blond hair slips over Hizashi’s shoulders, tickles against your skin but it’s just another sensation that you can barely register, overwhelmed and already too fucked-out to focus.

The piercing at the base of Hizashi’s cock does stimulate your clit, especially when the man presses himself flush against you, circling his hips in a quick grinding motion. The metal rubs against your folds and you feel like screaming, it feels good but you don’t want it to.

The metal through the flared mushroom tip keeps brushing against a spot inside you that has you seeing sparks, but you still feel uncomfortable, too full, too stretched.

Hizashi fucks you slow, his husband petting awkwardly at your face.

Minutes pass, you’re not sure how long, but then Hizashi is going a bit faster, then faster again, Shouta’s telling him to slow down, but the blonde pants out “Can’t Sho’, she feels so damn good-”

The metal keeps grinding across your clit, and then you’re shrieking as an orgasm slams into you full-force out of nowhere.

It had been feeling good, but the combination of the tip of Hizashi’s cock hitting your sweet spot, plus the barbell along his pubic bone rubbing your little nub as he humped your cunt had you spasming, mouth dropping open and your eyes rolling back.

The next few moments are hazy, but you know Hizashi pulls out, lets out a low groan and then there's a bit of warmth striping across your stomach. Aizawa is saying something in that low baritone of his, but you don’t know what.

Your limbs feel like jelly, you feel too hot but chilled at the same time, feverish, sweaty. Shouta pats your cheek “Still with us?”

“Uhnh....” 

Aizawa laughed then, a full, throaty sound that made his stomach quake, and both you and Hizashi looked at him in surprise.

It was rare for the man to make such a noise.

“You good Sho’?” Hizashi asked, a puzzled smile on his face. Aizawa nodded, calming himself down a bit to respond, a broad grin still plastered across his features.

“I’m more than good, this is.... you were perfect.” The last bit is directed at you, and Aizawa leans down to kiss you, even though it’s clumsy and awkward. Still, he persists.

When he breaks away, he reaches for his husband, and pecks him on the lips, before shuffling backwards on the bed, your head sliding off his lap.

“Do’ya wanna lay down sweetie-pop? Or sit in the chair and watch?”

“Wha-?” You blink at the blonde, a hand rubbing at your puffy eyes. You’re thirsty.

“She’s exhausted, have her lay down. Plus, you can kiss her when you start getting too loud.” Aizawa prompts his husband, and Hizashi swats playfully at the dark-haired man, but heeds his advice.

You’re maneuvered up the bed, until your head rests on the pillows. Your wrists stay tied though, and your brows knit in confusion. Are they leaving?

No, Aizawa’s removing his boxers, Hizashi’s on his knees, his face by yours scrunched up as he reaches back to his rear.

A glimpse of Shouta’s cock, and you’re suddenly extremely grateful that you had been under his husband, and not taking the monster Shouta had been hiding behind his boxers.

But your attention is torn away by Hizashi, who’s holding up.... a plug, shiny with lube.

Shouta shuffles behind him, grabs his husband’s hips, and then Hizashi is kissing you, whimpering into your mouth as Shouta enters him.

You can’t find it in yourself to feel sorry for Hizashi. At least he’s going to enjoy himself, sharing that part of himself with someone he loves.

Bitterness rises within you as you realize; you aren’t able to say the same.

[acourtofsnakes]

A Helping Hand - Bucky Barnes x Reader (f)

(Gif: @sebastianruinedme​ )

Summary: After a stressful week, you try to wind down with some personal time but nothing quite hits that spot. And a certain Super Soldier may just be more than willing to help you. 

Warnings: 18+ Smut - Masturbation/toys, Oral (f receiving), fingering, neck play, arm/hand kink, dirty talk, a faint Dom theme if you squint, swearing – honestly, Bucky should just be a kink in himself.

Word count: 5k+ words full of hot playtime. 

A/N: This is just filth, to be honest. I was feeling a certain way after watching episode 3 of TFATWS and seeing that scene with Bucky cleaning his hand and… ideas happened, and this was born. There’s not really a plot… simply enjoy. 

Smut under the cut!!

Permanent Taglist: @greeneyedblondie44 @mamacitapascal​

Part 2

There was something to be said about the advancement of toys in recent years. 

There were hundreds of them. All different types. For all different things. 

Rabbits, waterproof vibrators, pulsating and pounding ones, ones that felt like oral, handsfree vibrators, remote control vibrators – the list went on. 

You had a lot. Tucked in a drawer of your dresser in a pretty box that just made you go all tingly in the knees every time you saw it. 

You were proud of your collection. 

And boy, did you love them. 

They never let you down, ever. 

But unfortunately, tonight was just not one of those nights. 

It has been a tough week. 

Not only had you taken a beating in training yesterday, but you were also late for an appointment across the city, which resulted in being yelled at by Fury. 

You really regretted decided to help him when he needed it. 

There wasn’t a lot going on lately, so you offered to help Fury when he needed it. 

Usually, you were on his food side. 

Yesterday, not so much. 

Everything seemed out to get you, and after the shit show of the week, you just wanted to treat yourself. So, you’d holed yourself up in your room on your floor of the compound, had a long, luxurious soak in the bath, and then decided to work out your anxiety and tension with one of your many, many friends. 

And for the first time in a while, they just weren’t hitting that spot. 

Literally. 

You groaned, throwing the third toy - this one a rabbit that was one of your most trusty companions - on the side of your bed. 

For the last forty minutes, you’d been dancing between three different toys and your fingers. 

You’d tried being on your belly, your side, and your back. You’d even tried a pillow. 

But nothing was the right pressure on your clit, no toy or finger felt deep enough inside, and you couldn’t hit that spot inside without getting a wicked cramp in your wrist that forced you to stop. 

You sat up, every nerve in your body wound to a knife edge, leaving you frustrated and tempted to throttle someone. 

Or get someone to throttle you. 

Preferably whilst pinning you to a wall... or a desk. 

Or anywhere really. 

You just needed something, anything to get out this frustration and give you the release you’d been desperately chasing all night. 

It wasn’t even a case of hovering on the edge - you couldn’t even get there. The fire and heat just stayed a kindling ember in your belly, and never reaching that explosive fire. 

After getting up and downing a measure of whiskey whilst watching the rain, you decided to try a last-ditch attempt with a different toy. 

This one was a curved vibrator, with a thicker rounder head for supposedly perfect pressure on your g-spot. 

Simple, straight forward. 

Surely, if none of the others had done it, this one finally would. 

After settling back on your bed, you took a little more care this time, even going as far to light a few candles to add an ambiance to the room rather than have it pitch black with the sounds of the rain. 

You worked yourself up this time, building it slowly, teasing yourself with brushes of your fingertips over your throat and breasts, setting your skin ablaze. 

You pushed yourself to the edge a little, and then worked over with your vibrator. 

Until ten minutes later, when you literally launched the vibrator across the room and it hit the wall with a resounding thud, that echoed your hiss of frustration.  “Fucking hell.”  

A shit week, a shit day, and you couldn’t even fuck yourself well enough to be able to wind down and get some sleep. 

There was a sudden knock and then Bucky’s voice echoed through your bedroom door. “Darlin’?” There was a slight hint of his Brooklyn accent peeping through at the end, stirring something within you. 

You startled, sitting bolt upright and your head snapped to the door, “Bucky?” You had the good sense to lock the door, but still. He was right there. 

His shadow moved beneath the door, and you realised he was leaning against it, “Is everything alright? I heard banging.” 

Well, no not really. I’ve been trying to get myself off for the last hour and nothing appears to be working and I’m sitting here naked whilst you’re the other side of my door calling me Darling in that ridiculously hot accent that shouldn’t even be that hot. But hey, apart from that, everything’s great. 

You slid off the bed, padding across the room after dropping your toys back in their drawer, glaring at it as you passed. You slipped a robe on before making your way across the fluffy rug to the door, “Yeah, I’m okay...” You unlocked the door, tugging it open. 

Bucky was leaning against the doorframe, all broad shoulders, long lines and soft smile. 

His searing blue eyes were instantly locked onto you, a smirk playing on those gorgeous lips.

He cocked his head, standing there with his arms crossed, and you noticed that for once, he wasn’t wearing any gloves. Just a simple long-sleeved T-shirt, jeans that hung sinfully close to his hips and... no boots. Just socks. 

Like he’d taken his shoes off before waking into your apartment. 

Ever the gentleman. 

His arm was bare, the soft light of the hall bouncing off of the black vibranium and sparking the gold. You’d always loved his arm. The sheer power of it, the way you’d seen it shatter a man’s ribs instantly and tear through a brick wall like it was made of glass. The same hand that tickled behind the ears of a stray kitten in Prospect Park and test the ripeness of plums at the market. 

You wanted that hand around your throat. 

Eyes the colour of the Arctic sea roamed over your body, from your slightly mussed up hair to the flush along your neck that disappeared in the dip of your dressing gown. “Mm... are you sure about that?” He tilted his coyly, a smirk playing on his lips and you had a feeling this expression had been one of the trademarks since the 40’s. 

You narrowed your eyes at him, more than aware that he was seeing far more than you wanted him to, “I’m fine.” You turned from the door, leaving it open for him to come in, “How comes you’re up on my floor, anyway?” You peered over your shoulder at him as you padded across the room to the drinks cart. 

Yes, there was a bar on your floor, but why couldn’t you have a cart in your room? Tony hadn’t even needed to ask when designing it. 

Bucky walked in, his footfalls silent like a cat, that training never quite leaving him, “I couldn’t sleep. No nightmares, just restless.” He added the last part quickly, in response to the concern that tightened your expression. 

It was nothing unusual, Bucky coming up here to your room.  

You often found each other after nightmares or rough days, seeking comfort and distraction from the darkness that lingered. 

Some days and nights, you went out, needing an outside diversion from the thoughts. 

Other times, you stayed in, watching films, talking, training or just... sitting quietly, knowing that the other persons presence was enough protection and reassurance. Words weren’t needed… just company.  

You handed him a drink, plopping down on the end of your bed and you watched him sink into the couch opposite, “Anything you wanna talk about?” 

Since everything with the War, Bucky was working on fitting back into a routine, into ‘normal’ life - or what could be considered normal for people like yourselves. 

He was undergoing his mandatory therapy sessions, and they seemed to be helping him. 

He was back in contact with Sam, and the pair even worked a few jobs together now and then, even if they did bicker like an old married couple - it provided great entertainment when you tagged along. 

He leant back on the couch, settling his left arm across the back. He always looked at home on your floor, relaxed, like his mind could shut off a little. “Nah, I’m okay... Thank you though.” He shot you an easy smile again, one that he probably hadn’t used in.... decades. “What about you? Why are you up so late?”

Mimicking his shrug, you kept your expression neutral, making sure your eyes didn’t drift to that certain drawer, “Rough week. I was reading to try and drift off.” 

“Mmmhm...” Bucky’s hummed response told you instantly that he did not believe you one bit. “What were you reading? Cosmopolitan’s best guide to toys?” That shit eating grin graced his face and he motioned gracefully with his left hand... to the corner of the room. 

The vibrator you’d launched was sitting on the floor, nestled in the rug, the soft mint green silicone practically a beacon. 

Okay. 

Okay…. So. There were two ways you could respond to this. 

Either play it off, deny it and change the subject. 

Or…

Turning back to him, you shrugged again, “Oh, I’ve read that back to front. And made a few additions myself.” You cocked your head, a faint flutter in your belly as you awaited his response. 

The barest flicker of surprise danced across his beautiful, rugged features before dissolving into something confident and smouldering. “Well, it looks to me like their guide isn’t true to review tonight. Something tells me you’re having a little bit of trouble.” His voice had begun to lower into a deeper, the natural roughness of his voice coming out. 

It stoked that fire within you, warming your blood and curling low in your belly. 

“And if I was? What would you suggest to help?” It was almost impossible to remain sitting still as the atmosphere folded and changed. There was one obvious route to your back and forth… and you wanted it. 

Wanted… him.

And if you were honest, you had for a long time now. There was just something about him that you’d always been drawn to, a simmering tension that settled whenever you were together. 

Bucky rose from the sofa in a fluid movement, walking toward you slowly, casually, but with the grace and prowl of a wolf eyeing up its next meal – you. 

And fuck, you wanted him to devour you. 

He slid his hands into his pockets, feet silent on your wooden floor, “Well… I would say that as wonderful as your toys may be… they’re just that. Toys. They can’t… feel what you like.” His eyes burned through you with each of his steps. “They don’t hear the noises you make when they hit the right spot. They don’t get to see the way your body reacts, the way your teeth sink into your bottom lip because it feels overwhelmingly good.” 

He was close enough for you to smell his cologne, and that only added to the growing wetness between your thighs as his filthy, beautiful words. 

Bucky stopped in front of you, removing his left hand and touching his fingers to your chin to tilt it up to face him, “They can’t know the little things… the deeper angle, that extra finger or sweep of the tongue… they can’t make you so wet that it runs down your thighs and they can’t make you arch off the bed as you shatter into starlight…” He sighed softly, shaking his head in mock disappointment, “I’m afraid they just… can’t make you come the way a real person could.” He applied a little pressure to the underside of your chin, and you rose to your – unsteady -  feet instantly, putty in his hands.  

Holy fuck, Bucky Barnes had a mouth on him. 

Your teeth had indeed sunk into your lower lip, and your breathing had grown shallow. It was an effort to keep your thighs firmly locked together… Because you were just as wet as he had said. 

The dark flame in his eyes told you that he knew the reaction you were having to him. He brushed a cool thumb over your lip, then tugged it gently to free it from your teeth and at the same time, he leant his head down to your level, “They can’t make you come like I can, darlin’.” This close, his warm lips brushed the shell of your ear, his voice reduced to a husky rasp that only further drew out that Brooklyn accent. 

The soft moan that left your lips was almost pitiful, but you didn’t care, “Shit.” 

You breathed the word, earning a deep chuckle in your ear before Bucky pulled back, only enough to see your face, “You want me to help you? Give you a helping hand?” His words were low and seductive, but he was looking between your eyes, making no more moves until he knew you wanted this. 

If you changed your mind, he would leave right now, and say no more about it. 

That very thought pained you. 

Something had always hovered between you both… and maybe now was the time to let it out. You shared a few kisses on nights out and he had featured heavily in your fantasies night after night, wishing your fingers were his, the toys were him….

You met his eyes, your own clear and sure and you kept that gaze as you parted your lips. Then swept your tongue along his thumb and tilted your head down just enough to take it between your lips. The vibranium was smooth, cold and it felt oddly delightful on your tongue. “Make me come, Bucky. Prove to me you’re better than the toys.” Your voice was low with need, a soft pleading note for him there as you gazed up through your eyelashes. 

The Arctic blue of his eyes deepened to near midnight, his pupils blowing out as he watched you talk around his thumb, your tongue sweeping over the metal and he almost purred, “Oh, baby, you won’t need toys when I’m done.” And then he was on you. 

He gently pulled his hand from your face, instead placing it lightly around your neck, the heavy metal settling on your collarbones and that alone drenched you. 

He looked between your eyes, checking one final time and then his mouth was lowering onto yours, his lips warm, plush and ever so inviting. Instantly, he licked a teasing line along your lips, which you would have parted for him without the request. 

Bucky’s tongue slipped past your lips, sweeping against yours in hot strokes as he explored every corner of your mouth. 

He tasted divine, and even more so when his thumb lightly tipped your chin back and he traced the tip of his tongue along the roof of your mouth, licking over the ridges and showing you exactly what that tongue could do. 

A groan left your lips, and you slid your hands up his arms to those shoulders, those gorgeous broad shoulders that all you wanted to do was dig your nails into them and use for support as you rode him. 

A deep curl of delight and joy was unfurling within the heat in your belly, because you needed this, needed more of him and his hands and his tongue and his words… and you were finally getting it

Hell, he had only just started kissing you and you already could have fallen apart just from that. 

“Why have we not been doing this all the time?” Was the only thought that your already fuzzy mind could come up with as he pulled away slowly from your lips, only to begin pressing hot, open kisses against your jaw that were all teeth and tongue. He seared a path to your neck, kissing all over until he found that particular spot that made you whimper and arch into his body. 

Bucky laughed low against your neck, the sound vibrating, “Oh, baby, you were struggling, weren’t you? I’ve barely even touched you and you’re already a mess…” He used his hand on your throat to tilt your head to the side, before biting at your skin, sweeping his tongue over the hot and sucking a deep mark there. 

A slight whine rippled in your throat, fingers pulling as his shirt and your chest pushed against his, the firm heat of him making your nipples tighten, especially when he pushed into you. 

Bucky slipped a hand between your bodies, tugging at the cord of your dressing gown and it slipped from your shoulders, leaving you bare and open to him. 

He licked down your neck, his tongue smoothing over the shape of your collarbones and then down your sternum to your breasts. He butterfly kissed the soft flesh, then almost delicately sucked at your rleft nipple, lifting his vibranium hand to squeeze the other, “So beautiful…” He mumbled it half to himself, his dark mussed up curls soft against your skin. 

One of your hands trailed up the back of his neck, slightly tangling in the hair at the base of his head and you pushed your chest further into his mouth, “Tease.” The word was a soft gasp, your eyes closing in pleasure and your lips parting. 

He chuckled, pulling back to blow a cool breath on the wet skin, watching your nipple harden and then he moved to give the other the same treatment, “Oh, I’m a tease, am I? I can stop if you like.” He grinned around the delicate skin, just slightly grazing his teeth as he tugged your nipple and then he continued his trail of kisses down your body, slowly sinking to his knees. “I don’t think you’ll ask me to stop though, darlin’.” His right hand grasped your ankle, and then he ghosted warm fingertips up your leg, past your knee and then pausing at your inner thigh, at what he felt there, “No. No I don’t think you’ll ask me to stop at all.” 

The cocky bastard grinned once more against your stomach, before dipping his tongue inside your belly button.

“Bucky…” You couldn’t hide the whimper in your voice, nor the way your hips rocked forward in a plea. It was almost painful how much you needed him to touch you, needed to feel his lips and his tongue. 

“Shhh, baby, I know.” His hands slipped up your waist, as soothing as his gentle coo against your belly button and then he brushed his lips lower and lower… and then finally, he pressed a soft butterfly kiss to your pubic bone. 

A low groan tore from his throat, his hands digging into the soft flesh of your hips as he saw you, swollen and positively dripping for him, “Oh, darlin’, look at you…” 

The sheer desire and awe in his low voice caused heat to flush along your cheekbones. You weren’t shy by any means, but the almost primal admiration in his voice was something you’d never heard before, the pure want and desire to make you feel good and worship you. 

Bucky admired the sight before him for a single moment, before lifting his eyes to yours and then he dove in, immediately devouring you like he was starving. His deft tongue slipped through your slick folds with ease, and he moaned again at your taste, at your smell, everything. 

He pressed his tongue flat against you before sucking at your clit, with such an intensity that you almost choked. It was a simple movement, but it shot electricity through your body and made every single nerve stand on end. 

He let that coil of energy begin to build, and then he licked back down, his hands sliding down to palm at your ass cheeks before digging his fingers into your skin, pulling you in further so he could bury his nose against your clit and his tongue – fuck, his tongue pushed inside of you, hot and heavy. It just felt so, so good, his nose putting pressure on your bundle of nerves, his tongue pumping inside you. 

Your hands flew down to his hair, winding through it to keep him there, keep him doing that, to keep him fucking you with his tongue, “Buck-”. You weren’t sure what you were begging him for, only that you just needed to say his name, needed to do something. 

Your hips began to rock in time with his thrusts, and you became aware of it only when Bucky’s muffled moan reverberating through you. 

He liked it, no... he loved this, that you were grinding against his face as his tongue worked inside you, tasting parts of you no one else had ever gotten right before. 

“Fuck, Bucky, keep doing that – I’m-” You cut off with a high moan, your head tilting back as you rocked into him faster, chasing down that high that was so tantalisingly close. It hadn’t taken long, you were so worked up from your failed attempts that you were already there. 

Bucky’s began to lick and suck you with new fervour, his head moving in time with the jerks of his hips, feeling the way your walls were tightening around his tongue. His fingers dug harder into your ass, and you felt the silent command almost, Come. 

And you did. 

You cried his name out to the sky, every nerve in your body winding to near painful tautness before you shattered on his face, your first orgasm ripping through you. 

Bucky didn’t stop, working you through it and drawing it out further and further as he lapped up every single drop you gave him, moaning himself like it was the most tantalising thing he had ever tasted. 

He stopped only when your grip released on his hair, the sensitivity of your nerves almost painful, your legs shaking like crazy and he lifted his hand from between your thighs, his lips and chin glistening. He rose from his knees, nudging you back onto the bed and instantly crawling up your body, “You have no idea how good you taste.” 

You whimpered slightly, catching your breath as you watched him crawl up you, eyes burning like sapphire fire, his tongue licking slowly over his lips as he savoured you. Words were beyond you, desire still coursing through your veins and you were a little in awe at how quickly – and hard – he had brought you to your first orgasm. 

Bucky grinned devilishly, “That won’t be your last.” He lowered his mouth back to yours and as you tasted yourself on him, you grew instantly wet for him again. 

His body brushed into yours and you felt how painfully hard he was through his jeans, the sounds and taste of you getting to him of course. 

Your fingers had barely brushed against his restrained length when he shook his head, nipping at your lower lip, “Oh no, baby, this is all about you.” 

You ignored him, palming him through his jeans and he moaned lowly before his eyes flashed, his hand suddenly back on your throat and he moved his hips away so you couldn’t get to him. “I said no.” It was almost a snarl, “This is about you. Not me.” His hand tightened just slightly around your throat, making it that little bit harder to breathe and your eyes rolled back at how delicious it felt. 

It was a huge kink for you, the idea of someone – of Bucky - taking control, being in control of your body even it was just for a little while. You didn’t need to think or do anything. Only feel and be at the mercy of his touch. 

You relented, legs falling open for him and you tilted your head back, searching for his lips. 

Bucky granted you the kiss, a slow, languid kiss at first that was all simmering passion and tangling tongues, the taste on you still lingering on his lips. 

He palmed your breast again, tugging and squeezing the flesh until he scratched his nails lightly down your ribcage and belly. 

Yes, yes-

He wasted no time, no more playing and his fingers slipped lower, circling over your clit with a delicious pressure that had you instantly moaning into his mouth.

He toyed with your clit a little more, before gathering your wetness and then sinking two fingers inside you, pushing all the way into his knuckles, then drawing back out slowly. 

As he withdrew, you moaned long and slow into his mouth and he began a steady rhythm. Pushing and curling his fingers inside you a few steps, then circling and pulling at your clit, ever so subtly switching it up with each pass so you couldn’t predict what he would do.  

It felt amazing, but… there was something still missing. It still wasn’t quite enough to send you over that final edge… it wasn’t what you’d been fantasising about. 

No, it was his left hand. That dark, golden vibranium hand that was currently seated around your throat. 

The knowledge of what it could do, the sheer power in it that could easily crush your windpipe or shatter your jaw with a single flick of his wrist. 

That is what you needed. 

Those cool, powerful fingers inside you, working you over – that was the best toy. 

It was like he could read your mind somehow, or the way your body sung to his tune. He lifted his head, looking down at you with those searing blues and he cocked his head, a slow grin lighting his gorgeous face, “Oh… This-” he scissored his fingers inside you, stretching your walls and ever so slightly brushing up against that spot, “isn’t quite what you want, is it, darlin’?” 

Holy Christ, he was going to destroy you before you even got what you wanted.

You looked up at him, panting, hips rocking to the slower thrust of his fingers and you shook your head.

Bucky swore softly, panting himself and he squeezed your throat once before lifting his fingers, “You want these, don’t you?”

Instead of answering him, you ducked your head, taking his three fingers into your mouth and immediately gliding your tongue around them, up and down in slow, dirty strokes. 

The effect was instantaneous. Bucky’s hips jerked slightly against yours, his mouth parting as he watched you suck his vibranium fingers, hollowing your cheeks, eyes rolling back in your head like… like it was something else entirely. 

He groaned, swore again and then almost ripped his fingers from your mouth and from between your legs at the same time. 

Your entire body mourned the loss, feeling empty, clenching around nothing but mere seconds later, he plunged those three vibranium fingers inside of you, slick with your saliva and how unbelievably wet you were. 

It stung a little, but only added to the feeling as your hips rose off the bed, “Shit, shit-”

They felt… like the best toy you could ever imagine. Smooth, cold, and hard enough that you could feel every faint ridge of the joints as he slid them in and out. You reached out, grabbing his arm with one hand and the bed with the other, needing something to hold onto as instinct took over. Your hips rode upwards, back arching as you rocked his fingers in deeper, feeling them in your spine almost. It was better than you could have imagined. 

Bucky dropped his head to your chest, spreading his mouth over your breast and his other arm slid over your hips, pinning them to the bed so you were forced to take it. “You wanted this, baby… You take it.” He bit down on the soft flesh of your breast before smoothing his tongue over it again, working an alternative rhythm to his fingers and thumb again, so that your brain couldn’t keep up with which one to follow. It knew only the waves of fire singing through your veins.  

Time may have very well dissolved, because you could only feel pleasure, tinged almost with pain. 

The thick, hard stroking of fingers as they stretched and wrecked you. 

The circling, hard-soft-hard pressure of his thumb on your clit. 

The bite of his teeth on your breasts, neck and chest, followed by the wet press of his tongue. 

The way he couldn’t help his hips slightly rocking against your leg. 

This was almost like a fever dream, expect your brain couldn’t have come up with something this mind melting. Not even if you were really, really worked up. 

The noises in the room were absolutely sinful. The unrestrained cries and moans from your lips, Bucky’s groans and his filthy words, the wet pump of his fingers inside you – it was obscene, filthy and completely, painfully mind-blowing. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, Bucky, please-” You had no idea what you were begging for, but every single nerve and muscle in your body was coiling tighter and tighter, your hips jerking against his arm as he pinned you down, forcing you to take this, to feel everything he was doing with no relenting. Tears were beginning to blur your eyes and the pleasure he unleashed upon you was almost painful. 

Bucky somehow moved his fingers harder, deeper, the ability of the tech in his arm allowing him to do so, “Let go, baby, come on, let it go for me..” He dropped his head, biting down on your neck and he pressed his fingers against that spot inside you, flicking your clit with his thumb and then it all just snapped. 

Waves and waves of hot fire flooded your body, dragging you up to the stars, further. It ripped the air from your lungs, made you half scream his name in a never-ending prayer. 

It just didn’t stop. 

Bucky kept moving inside you, drawing out every single second of your mind-shattering orgasm, letting go of your hips so you could grind them into his hand. “That’s it, baby… Look at you, so beautiful like that…” His praise spurred you on, making you feel almost like a goddess as you flooded his hand. 

He stopped only when you slumped back onto the bed, sucking in deep breaths as you tried to piece yourself back together. 

Better than toys indeed. 

~~

A little while later, you stirred from a light dose to see Bucky lounging on your couch again, cleaning the grooves and metal of his fingers with a soft cloth. 

The sight of him concentrating, taking such care and detail with the clean-up, the cleanup from the mess you had made, had you instantly wet again. “Bucky.” 

He looked up, hearing the low thrum to your voice and a smirk crossed his lips. 

You had a favour to repay for his helping hand, after all. 

[krys-loves-otome]

Happy Fanfic Anniversary to Me!

So, being the fandom old that I am, I have been on the interwebs for a very long time. Matter of fact, when I was moving some of my old fics over ao3 to archive them, I saw the date on some of the older ones when I was transferring them

Turns out they're pretty old. Like, 2002 old.

Basically, at least when I started posted my own writing stuff, I had started it on this day, Sept 7th, 2002.

Making today my 20th Fanfic Writing Anniversary.

So, to celebrate this milestone, I decided to repost some of my favorite passages from my old fanfics up until the most recent ones.

Yes, I might embarrass and age myself quite a bit from this.

All the passages posted are from fics that are all posted on my ao3 because I had to do this last minute (curse you werk times and making me forget about my fanfic anniversary!) so I can't pull from my google docs, dreamwidth, or any of my other old writing places, so it's just stuff from ao3 for the sake of time. Just be aware that this is 20-ish years worth of writing, so some of it isn't beta-d or as polished as what I post now, so there's that.

Let's take a look into the past and have some fun, lovelies~

Link to my ao3, in case you wanna go down that rabbit hole and find the super old stuff at your own risk.

And my masterlist for my more current stuff, including some stuff featured below the cut.

-----

Bulma, being one of the fairest maidens in the land, was face with a choice of a suitable man. The only man that was avaliable was Yamcha, a pompus, greedy land holder. He had control of her father's land and had seen Bulma many a time. She was the most beatiful of all maidens, and had seen plenty of girls in his time. Bardock had strongly went against it and so had the rest of her family. But Yamcha was too much infatuated to even see straight.

-Strange Things Happen To People, Chapter 1 (Dragon Ball, September 2002)

-----

But I was surprised not to see a slimy, green alien. Infact, he almost looked human. He, from what I could tell, was about 7 foot tall and muscular. He had a dark skin tone and had long shaggy black hair. I when I say long, I mean long. It was about to his ankles. His eyes were dark, almost a deep onyx black and had low eyebrows. He also had a tail. Yes, a tail; it kind of reminded me of a monkey's tail. He looked strong,but was covered in blood. Then he collasped onto the ground, unconcious. I knew I had to help him. I whistled for Spirit to come down here. He came and I lifted the guy onto his back. He started groaning and I whispered in his ear.

-My Boyfriend is From Space Starring Radditz, Chapter 1 (Dragon Ball, December 2002)

-----

Yugi sighed, another month alone at home. He really didn't like being left alone at home, but he was used to it by now. Besides, Jii-san always brings him back something really cool from his travels in Egypt. Yugi ordered some pizza for himself and looked at the clock. It was about time for that new show to come on, Yugioh, he thought.

-Remember Me This Way, Chapter 1 (Yu-Gi-Oh!, July 2003)

------

I looked around for the source of the weeping. I moved some piles of coins aside to see the most creature I had ever seen in my life. I had to blink just to make sure I wasn't dreaming this. There was a boy, about 15, maybe 16 years of age with pale, almost a rosey-peachy cream tone of skin, completely contradictary to the golden-cinammon brown of the egyptain. His eyes were a chocolate brown, almost like a doe's eyes, complete with long, feminine eye lashes. His mane of hair, white as the whitest silk, and looked just as soft. He looked like a white-haired angel. Though, when I reached out to try & touch him, he reeled back in fear.

"Don't be afraid, I'm not going to hurt you," I said as gently as I could.

But the boy still kept his distance. Why would he try to avoid me like I had a disease or something?

"Why do you flee? I mean you no harm," I said, trying to encourage him to come closer.

"Please forgive me, but I am not allowed to speak with anyone," the boy said, his voice so softspoken, like he had never yelled in his life.

"Why's that, little one?" I asked him.

"I was ordered to," he said simply, "or suffer grave consequenses."

-Just Call Me Angel, Chapter 1 (Yu-Gi-Oh!, November 2003)

-----

I gave the Visser a cold stare, but then I stopped. Was I giving that glare to the Visser, or Alloran? His face twitched again, saying he understands. He whispered that he loved me and that he was sorry. The visser took control again, laughing hysterically. Then he spoke.

<Oh, how I love tormenting you, Alloran. Your wife is beautiful; and with these andalite instincts of yours, I see why you chose her.>

The Hork-bajir released me from their iron like grip as I feel into the Visser's weak andalite arms. I looked into his eyes, hoping my Alloran was still standing there, hold me in his grip.

Though the only thing I saw was the iniquity of his smirk. I did not like that smirk. Not at all...

-Jahar's Skye (original version, Animorphs, March 2005)

-----

She looked down, sad once again. I guessed right.

“Why not tell him you liked him?”

She shied away again.

“C’mon. What good is it going to do now? He’s smitten with Sakura and always has been.”

“I-I know. I just thought that, maybe, he would notice me eventually with Sakura always after you. B-But you left and…”

“Sakura finally noticed Naruto after I was out of the picture. Well, you weren’t completely unaware of me if you thought I could be your ticket in snagging Naruto.”

“D-Don’t say it like that. You make it sound a-as if I was a bad person for wanting Sakura to choose you.”

“You’re not a bad person. You wanted someone else to feel happy because you wanted happiness, too. So, you figured that if Sakura continued to shower me with affection and attention, Naruto would finally notice you and everyone would live happily ever after.”

“Uchiha-san…”

“Sasuke.”

“S-Sasuke, it’s not like that…”

“Seems that way to me. But, as it turns out, I was also a monkey wrench in your little scheme.”

She was silent.

“I’m just one sick little Cupid, ain’t I?”

-This Time The Girl is Staying (Naruto, July 2008)

-----

<<Hello, dearest. >> A voice spoke softly, sultry in a way, but I knew better than to believe it. My back was still turned, but I didn’t need my second set of eyes to tell me who was standing at the cage door.

<<Visser. >> My voice was filled with quiet disdain and hatred. It was obvious how I felt about the horrid creature controlling the one person that I had ever felt love for.

He chuckled darkly.

<<Such an unkind tone, my dear. It doesn’t really suit you. >> His voice was teasing while reaching a weak hand through the bars. My tail flashed in front of me, a clear warning to back off.

<<Do not touch me, Yeerk scum! Those hands do not belong to you, nor do you have permission to use them as you see fit! >> I turned my upper body to face him, glaring at him with all four of my eyes.  I would not be subjected to that humiliation again!

<<Ah yes. You Andalites are not as fond of touch as the humans are. I had forgotten, being in and out of my human form so often, some habits overlap occasionally. I am sorry, dearest. Please forgive my rude and unbecoming gesture. >> His voice was full of malicious humor, so I’m sure that there wasn’t any sincerity in his apology. He looked to my main eyes, staring hungrily.

-Jahar's Skye (2010 Rewrite, Animorphs, June 2010)

-----

Impudent scum. The lowest of the low. Scum that didn’t deserve to live. The fact that Timaeus was inside of the small church mattered little to him. His sword was brandished, reflecting the dim sunlight from the stained glass windows, a picture of St. Michael matching perfectly with the scene. The knight could think of nothing more than avenging the innocent soul who’s blood had been spilt on the floor. He could think of nothing more than avenging Yuugi, his sweet, innocent savior. She had saved his life, but he was doubting that he could do the same.

With one move of his wrist, his sword sliced through the intruders as if they were made of paper. Maybe the spirit of Michael had helped him to defeat the villains, but the fact that he had spilled more blood in a sacred place would no doubt disappoint Yuugi.

When the knight returned to his proper senses, he knelt to the floor and gently picked up the still woman, a sharp contrast to his previous actions. He held her close to his chest, tilting her chin up as if he meant to kiss her, but he dares not. Instead, he draws in a pained breath, noting how his gloves were staining her pale face.

“Forgive me, Yuugi.” It wasn’t the first time he had uttered those words to her. He had done so on various occasions for varying reasons. This time, however, he meant it with every fiber of his being.

If only he had gotten here sooner. If only he had listened to her pleas.

“I couldn’t reach you in time. I’m asking for your forgiveness.” He repeated it over and over again as he held her close, hoping for some sign of life within her.

-Scum (Yu-Gi-Oh, August 2014)

-----

“Heh,” Yoko said to herself, lost in her memories while watching the wine swirl in the glass.

“Happy 15th Wedding Anniversary, Sakaki Yoko. You did everyone proud by marrying yourself an entertainer, didn’t you.”

She wasn’t bitter, certainly not, but felt bitter at that moment. She wanted Yusho back home safe. She didn’t care if he had given up dueling completely, she just wanted to see him again. She missed him so badly, even just seeing his face again would be enough.

“…Mom?” a soft voice called out, startling her out of her reverie.

“Yuuya! Sweetheart…” She didn’t really know what to say. Yuuya had caught her red-handed with the glass of wine. He frowned and crossed his arms, looking pointedly at the said glass.

“…It’s only cooking wine, Yuuya.”

“…Sounds gross, Mom.”

She couldn’t help it, she smiled and laughed quietly. Yusho made that face when he was skeptical too.

“It is. That’s why, when you’re older, you should have regular wine. It tastes better.”

“…Still sounds gross.”

“Well, adults are often having to do gross things, good or bad. It’s all part of growing up, I’m afraid.” She laughed quietly again, setting her glass down on the table, untouched.

-Happy Anniversary (Yu-Gi-Oh ARC V, April 2015)

-----

“You’re… you’re lying! There’s no way anyone could have-!”

Yuuri quietly reached into his jacket pocket, his slim fingers pulling out a card, holding it’s back towards her, stunning her to silence.

“Do you wish to find out?” he said quietly, “who it was that said those terrible things about you?”

Ruri couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. On the other side of that card was someone she had trusted, someone that had been with her in Heartland, and yet…

She could feel her heart dropping into her stomach.

-Prisoner Princess (Yu-Gi-Oh ARC V, August 2015)

-----  

But, back then, I didn’t think that kind of wish could come true. And, thinking back on it now, I’m starting to think I shouldn’t have.

Just as Junko was about to start her reading, the lights in the room flickered and turned completely off, the holoboard at the front turning off as well. The only light in the room was daylight from the sun outside and the dim glow of our holobooks. Mr. Himura tried to reassure us, I remember, that it was just a drill and that we should all try and stay calm. I remember looking at Yuuto and saw that he was also looking at me, his eyebrow raised in that way that it usually does when he doesn’t know what’s going on.

It was then that we heard screaming outside, both human screams and the sounds of a Duel Monster screaming in pain. I remember thinking that my D-Gazer hadn’t notified us of a duel going on. Come to think of it, no one else’s had either. Our first instinct was to set our D-Gazers to Duel Mode, to try and find the source of the duel going on.

But there wasn’t one. Matter of fact, there weren’t any duels going on at the time, since everyone was in their classes at that time. It wasn’t free period yet, when there were usually duels galore. So the fact that it sounded like a duel was going on just outside yet it wasn’t registering on the D-Gazers…

It still unsettles me to this day, feeling so tense with fear. Yuuto had even subconsciously moved closer to me, taking a hold of my arm. When I was about to ask him what he was doing, the door burst open, the room soon filling up with smoke. Yuuto pulled me down hard, under the desk as Mr. Himura demanded to know what was going on. He never did receive an answer. The last we heard from him after that, was him screaming in pain while the rest of the class stared in horror.

-The Misadventures of Ruri Kurosaki and her Traveling Band of Emo Birds, Chapter 1 (Yu-Gi-Oh ARC V, April 2015)

-----

"Just one more, [Name]-chan." His arms and legs were shaking from tension and fatigue. That should have been an instant red flag that something was wrong. That you should have put your foot down and told him that this was enough for today.

So, why hadn't you told him no?

"I'm so close, [Name]-chan. I can feel it. Just one more, I promise." He was so earnest and determined, despite all the signs you should have told him no...

But you just couldn't. And just stepped back.

He gave you his usual easy smile, as if mentally thanking you, and turned his attention back to the court.

With the liquid grace of a cat, he tossed the ball into the air, the tension seeming gone. Two long steps squeaking forward, he bent his knees and jumped off the floor like a spring board. It never failed to make you stare in awe in the power that was Oikawa's serves. You could definitely feel the hairs on your neck standing up in anticipation.

And, for the first time as you've seen it, his accuracy was dead on, knocking the far water bottle with a resounding clatter. You were turning around to express your joy, that he had finally gotten it right. For a split second, he held the brightest, toothiest grin you seen him give. The kind of real smile that you've only seen on the court; Oikawa's real smile, where he was happiest and most proud.

And then, everything was in slow motion.

Gravity was taking over his body, pulling him down from the air. His foot was in the wrong place, you both realized far too late. He landed hard, the wrong way, his leg twisting horribly. There was a soft grunt of pain before the rest of his body caught up and he collapsed loudly onto the floor.

He didn't get up.

-Manager Princess: Oikawa Oneshot (Haikyuu!!, June 2016)

------

Up until he had kissed you, you had thought you were just a friend to Jumin, someone that was willing to listen to him and his troubles, especially now when his life was turning upside. Just friends, you had originally thought, colleagues within the RFA just like with everyone else, at best, nothing more.

With Elizabeth missing, Jumin didn’t know what to do with his new emotions. Quite honestly, when he returned to the penthouse cat-less, you were sure you were about to deal with a broken man, as the thing he held dearest had run away from him, his last line to sanity gone from him.

Now, however…

You touched your lips, blushing at the memory. You could still remember his hand curling under your chin to tilt your eyes towards him; how he still towered over you as he leaned in closer; how you could smell the scent of his cologne on his shirt collar, an expensive brand you couldn’t name but it still suited him quite well; how thin his lips were, yet they were still soft and warm if a touch dry when they brushed yours; how his breath tickled your swollen lips as he whispered to you, how he wanted you to close your eyes and just focus on your senses; how a few of his stray hairs brushed your cheek, him telling you how cute you were when he could still smell the strawberry pancakes on you from that morning.

- Love At First Sight (Mystic Messenger, May 2017)

-----

Soon, before you knew it, your fingers were moving on their own, slowly spelling the name with your tied hands. Something that the other devils took notice of.

“Malix,” one hissed, “the girl is doing something weird with her hands back here.”

“What, are you doing some ninja magic bullshit?” Malix stood, snickering as he looked at your tied hands. “That kinda stuff doesn’t work in the human world, sweethear-” Malix stopped, as if he recognized what it was your hands were doing.

“Signing!?” He laughed, “now that’s rich, girlie! Maybe I should blow your hands off so that you can-!”

It was ironic that the last sign of Sam’s name was a closed fist. As your pinky receded from the I to form the fisted S, wind picked up around the warehouse and blinding light soon filled the space, pushing back any devils that had surrounded you. Next thing you knew, a fist pounded against Malix’s face and he flew back, grunting in pain and landing against the far wall with a hard thud.

In his place was a familiar shock of brown hair, green and white vest, and a sharp toothy smirk.

“Well, well, Malix. Guess whose here to send your devil ass back to hell where it belongs?”

-True Name (Seduce Me The Otome, September 2018)

-----

“Tired already?” he asked, letting out a disappointed sigh and moved to stand up.

“It is close to bed time, isn't it?” you asked, other ideas starting to run through your head.

“What, are you Hideyoshi now?” he teased, his grin spreading wider as he stretched. “It's my castle. We can have whatever bed time we want.”

“Masamune,” you gently reprimanded him. He grinned again.

“All right, all right. You want bed time, you get bed time.”

If only he knew.

You touched his wrist, catching his attention to draw him into a lingering kiss. His smirk deepened.

“Gonna tell me your secrets now, Kitten?”

You couldn't help the grin on your face that matched his.

“Would you prefer me telling you?” You hold onto him, standing on your toes to reach his ear.

“Or should I show you?” you whispered.

The faint twitch of his arm told you all you needed to know.

- It's Not Like I Would Say No, Kitten (IkeSen, July 2019)

-----

Nobunaga, the once proclaimed Devil King, had perished on the battlefield.

Everyone had tried to save him. If someone had moved quicker, anyone, if he had reacted faster, maybe he could have been spared.

But, like Nobunaga himself, Death conquered all before him, even the Devil King of the Sixth Heaven.

You had been with him that morning, warmed by his hands brushing gently over his handiwork from the previous night. You could still recall how his lips curled into his signature smirk, but his eyes were soft, warm, proud that morning. This was the man you had stayed behind for. The love of your life. With Nobunaga by your side, you felt like you could do anything. You could take on the world with Nobunaga, you felt.

Without him, however, the entire world seemed to shatter into a million pieces.

-A Second Glance, Chapter 1 (IkeSen, July 2019)

-----

After a few moments of silence, Ieyasu broke it again.

"When did that happen?"

He nodded towards her bandaged finger, sounding offended that this was the first time he was noticing it.

"...Papercut." She started. "They happen sometimes. A common hazard to book lovers. Mitsunari gets them all the-"

"I don't care about that idiot's papercuts. What happens to him during his weird reading trances is not my concern." His tone was sharp, but his hand grabbing yours showed none of the hostility of his voice. "I'm more concerned about why you're pale and shivering while I'm boiling in my own sweat."

He carefully unwrapped her bandage, frowning deeper at seeing the angry red cut, mostly healed, but its color was concerning.

"Again, when did this happen? Hours ago? Days?"

She looked away from him, feeling ashamed she hadn't said anything sooner. She had been used to hiding it on Vale Island for her safety, her new habits escaped her notice.

"Before… coming here. Before Honnoji."

His eyes widened in shock while his breath stalled in his lungs. In the next breath, he grabbed hold of her wrist and pulled her along behind him.

"Why didn't you say anything sooner, stupid?!" Whatever book he had picked up previously was now haphazardly dropped to the floor in his haste. "We're going to my palace. Now."

-You Should Always Tell The Truth (IkeSen, November 2019)

-----

“Do you know if the stars are out tonight?”

“They should be by now, yes. And the skies seemed clear enough earlier today.” He paused, “It will be cold, though, if you wish to see them.”

“Well, that’s what blankets are for, silly.”

He smiled. “Ah, yes, my mistake.”

Carefully, he peeled back the blankets, save for the one he wrapped around you. Then, he lifted you into his arms, carrying you out onto the familiar balcony. Though there was a beautifully crafted wheelchair beside the bed he could have used, Comte much preferred to carry you there as if you were a newly wedded bride crossing the threshold into your new life. 

He sat you in his lap on the nearby bench, his warmth spreading through you as he held you gently. You turned your eyes skyward, watching the dark blanket of the heavens, dotted with small points of light, some brighter and some dimmer than others. It never failed to awe you, just like the person holding you securely.

“It’s still so beautiful,” You said, “even after all these years.”

“On the contrary, chérie,” he said softly. “I see something much more beautiful in front of me,”

“And you’re horribly biased, good monsieur.” You laughed. “Or going blind.”

“If I go blind tonight, I’ll be glad the last thing I saw was your smiling face, in my ‘horribly biased’ opinion.”

-Fais de Beaux Rêves (IkeVamp, October 2020)

------

"It's true, isn't it?” she said. “I couldn't lead Wysteria when I was needed to. I couldn't even go through with marrying King Byron for help. And now, because of my incompetence, the Princess Elect system is destroyed, a laughing stock amongst its people and the other countries."

"Hey, don't-"

"I'm a coward, Alyn," her voice trembled, "You wasted your time looking for a silly little girl that didn't deserve to be found. A little girl that ran out on you too, because she was too afraid of losing you. Of losing everything."

Her eyes finally turned to Alyn, shimmering with unshed tears. Her breath caught in her throat as a few escaped, sliding down her cheeks. Fed up with hearing her talk down about herself, Alyn pulled her once more into his arms, running his fingers through her hair.

"You never lost me, though," he said quietly as she cried into his shoulder, "there wasn't a day that I didn't think about you. Wondering how you were doing, if Giles or the other nobles were being hard on you. Then, you ran away to Stein and..."

His arms tightened around her. Her sobs stopped.

"Everyone was saying that you were dead. No one would give me any answers of how or why. It was like you didn't exist anymore. Or that anyone cared that you had existed."

He shuddered at the memory.

-Reunion (Midnight Cinderella, March 2021)

------

He breathed warm air onto the bell of his stethoscope and rubbed it against his shirt, testing it on his exposed wrist to make sure it was a comfortable temperature to the touch. Your soft giggles turned his head.

"Does blowing on it make it work better?" You said, laying on his chaise with a hand on your belly. Arthur grinned.

"Hardly," he said, taking a seat beside you and loosened the blue satin ribbons on your lacy stays, "but you did complain about the bell being cold last time and, though it was incredibly adorable seeing you jump, I decided to be kinder this time."

Carefully, he pulled down your stays below your belly while you pulled the top under your breasts, exposing your swollen abdomen to him. Placing his bare hands on you, he gently squeezed until he could feel a hard yet smooth area. That was likely the baby's back, the midwife had said, and that was the ideal place to look for a heartbeat. He then placed the stethoscope earpieces in with one hand while he kept his other hand on the baby.

"Slow, deep breaths now."

-Family (IkeVamp, May 2021)

-------

He hummed softly as he began putting his supplies away when he heard a sweet voice calling out to him.

Ah, there she was, just on the horizon, walking towards him in her pretty white dress. Vincent smiled brightly, wiped his hands on his painting apron, and started to amble towards her, intent on helping her with whatever she had brought with her.

As he got closer to her, he saw she wasn't carrying anything, just picking her way through the grass as best she could bare-handed. Vincent raised an eyebrow. Had Abby changed her mind and decided to come and get him after all? It was sweet of her but he worried she might overexert herself. He was about to call for her to stay where she was, that he would come to her, but soon saw she wasn't alone.

A man was following behind her, wearing grey pants with a white button shirt with the sleeves rolled up, carrying the old picnic blanket and basket. Had she invited the appraiser to come meet with him? It was kind of him to carry the basket and blanket for her. Odd, but kind regardless.

No, the man behind her looked familiar. It shouldn't be possible and yet…

The other man spotted him then, his eyes going wide. Vincent felt his own doing much the same.

"Theo…"

-I've Waited For This (IkeVamp, October 2021)

-----

Nokto felt Clara's racing heart against his cheek, her breathing calming his. Every inch of them was flushed and slick with sweat, both wearing nothing but the moonlight and her perfume.

-Birthday Present (IkePri, August 2022)