#< ill add that that for good measure
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i made a thing
my friend told me to draw them iceskating so here we are
i couldnt be arsed to do a background raugh. also the dress blue is wearing is was inspired by the dress pink addison was wearing in that cool aurora borealis snowgrave MAP here (GO WATCH IT ITS SO COOL AND AURORA BOREALIS IS A BANGER). idk not my best work i feel like the anatomy looks a bit stiff but i might as well post it bc tumblr nice and wont bully me. im happy with the colour choices tho (i actually swatched the colours to see how they would look next to eachother instead of winging it for once wow). also i spend like all yesterday afternoon working on this and when i was finished i left the file open in case i wanted to do a bg and then MY WHOLE ASS COMPUTER RESET IT HAS NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE WTF. thank fuck krita has an autosave feature but if it didnt i would jump into oncoming traffic.
sketch below the cut bc why not i already have it
i made addispams coat longer cus it was bugging me
#whhy do i always sound so dead when i post art wtf#idk im tired i just wanna post it and gooo#rendering was a massive pain in the ass for some reason (idk why its normally pretty fun)#also i promise that the colours look brighter on my drawing tablet im not just shit at drawing#edit holy shit you guys i was confused why this had literally 0 notes I FORGOT THE FANDOM TAGS OOPS#deltarune#spamton#addispam#blue addison#spamblue#welp that was a bit silly of me oops#pixel art#< ill add that that for good measure
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Hm. Should i use a google form for the gift exchange sign ups this year?
#genuine question. been thinking abt it so i wanna know#maybe ill just add it as an option? so you could go thru the form OR dm/reblogs/etc#on the one hand this could make things a little easier cause i wont have to input everything into the spreadsheet myself#however the spreadsheet wouldnt be accessible offline...hmmm...#i dont knooow#rambles#osc#<- just a good measure tag
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Hello, yes, that is my emotional support Awful Man™
#originally I thought this up in regards to enmu#because ya know brainrot#but then I thought about it more and I realized that this applies to at least a few characters I like so yeah#also for good measure this is meant to be silly#I do not condone the support of genuinely awful people if it can be helped#anyways do with this post what you wish to I suppose#I guess ill add some demon slayer tags#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#enmu#whelm is feeling conversational
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Today has not been a good day for me. I've been in so much pain. It starts to go away and then comes back stronger. I've gotten out of bed only to <tmi>.
One plus side: The last time I checked my blood sugar it was in the normal range.
#chronic degenerative disc disease#chronic pain#chronic illness#headache#backache#neck pain#rotator cuff injury#sinus pain#add in some nausea for good measure
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I wrote down my thoughts in my notes app, back when i made this, two years ago... i edited some of it now to rephrase/clarify some stuff, but here's the gist of it:
((Yap warning btw))
Double Life but its just the hands and a bunch of symbolism with various red strings, some created by the universe (the glowy ones, only on soulmate pairs), some not so much...(the darker-red ones, for chosen alliences/connections)
Explanations for the strings:
Scar & Grian: extra tangled up in their Red String of Fate bc of the constant back and forth that those two have going on - theres always some sort of tension, yet they litterally cannot stay away from eachother lmao (no matter how much they fight, they always end up as allies again later)
Grian & BigB: one of those shiny plastic ribbons you would tie around a wrapped present, bc their love language was gift giving; its tied around their pinkies (like the strings of actual soulmate pairs) bc they called themselves "secret soulmates" so i felt like their handmade red string should reflect that
BigB & Ren: no crazy ideas here, im afraid
Ren & Martyn: rings with a chain attached bc these two also cannot stay away from eachother lmao (they always end up working together, either in the limelight, or in secret); they are also very dramatic and chains felt just the right amount of edgy
SIDENOTE: the people analyzing stuff in the tags have pointed out that the chain looks like it symbolises a forced connection - this was NOT my intention, chains were just the strongest/sturdiest string-adjacent thing i could think of.
People have also pointed out that only one of the rings (Ren's) is really a wedding band, while the other one is just a chain, which shows the power dynamic - all of this was ALSO unintentional (im a genius and i didnt even know it... i just put their "string" around their ring fingers for "treebark married" reasons lmao (i can never remember which hand wedding rings go on))
Martyn & Cleo: Red String almost broken, but just barely holding itself together, bc there was potential - things could have been better... if only it wasnt for Martyns poor choices (and both of their stubbornness)
Cleo & Scott: a piece of red yarn bc it reminds me of stuff like handmade friendship bracelets. They r besties ur honour
Scott & Pearl: Red String completely broken - shorter end on Scotts side bc hes the one who broke it willingly, longer end on Pearls side bc shes the one who held on to the bond more, and sorta dragged it around with her even after it was broken beyond repair
Scott & Jimmy: flower husbands on their ✨divorce arc✨ so theirs is a withering vine, just barely staying in one piece; on their ring fingers, cuz yknow, marriage; Scotts end of the vine is wrapped around his finger more and the other end of it is sorta reaching out, while Jimmys end is curling back towards himself, bc Scott is the one that tends to reach out and take the first step between them, the one who is more insistent, while Jimmy on the other hand seems to thrive with or without Scott... ouchie
Jimmy & Tango: ranchers my beloveds!!!! Magic Red String holding strong, tangled around their fingers just a bit (more than normal, but not nearly as crazy as Scarian's), bc they were the most attached to (and happiest with) eachother out of all of the universe-assigned soulmate pairs... extra heartbreaking that they died first... dont think ill ever be over it
Tango & Impulse: some redstone wires tied together bc uhhh they both do redstone stuff?? Or something??? (i didnt really know a lot about them back then, sorry) and i was running out of ideas at this point
Impulse & Bdubs: ah yes, the "Home Wreckersᵀᴹ"... no fancy ideas here, im afraid
Bdubs & Etho: a piece of red cloth, a bit frayed (but still holding strong) bc from what i understand theyve known eachother for a really long time
And finally, Etho & Joel: no crazy meanings here, sorry boat boys enjoyers
Old Double Life fanart that still goes hard, bc i put ridiculous amounts of thought into it back when i made it. This one was a hit on the 'gram.
#im still not sure if im doing the tagging part correctly#so ill just add these here for good measure#life series#traffic life#trafficblr#double life#3rd life#trafficshipping#toniaarts
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The amount of disco elysium Jean vicamere fics I've read should have me put down outside the barn
#reemblings#yeah ill read another fic about a grown ass man suffering a mental breakdown#add harry in for good measure and irs chef kiss#dw i read other stuff too im just not sure what pulled me to jean except the HORRIFIC F BOMBS LOL#Like BROOOO SAME
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Thank you Jessi for reminding me that I had “Under The Skin” in my (never-ending) watchlist >< Seeing your reblogs made me finally start it!
!!!!! omgYES 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
idk what is in the water but it's so addicting. if anyone reading this is planning to jump in as well, here's some cw i have come across so far (DISCLAIMER- i am only up to the first 7 eps so stay cautious and dont @ me if i miss one that happens later on in the series; SOME CW LISTED WILL NOT BE SPOILER FREE; lastly, please feel free to chime in with more if more happens in the later part that ppl should be cautious about) :
NOTE - its mostly a copaganda show, its not a full fledge CopagandaTM but im only seated because of the art/creative influence in the series; anyways, as a crime investigation series, it stands to mention that death/murder is an overarching content warning but specifically
visual depictions of su*cide in ep 5 and attempted su*cide in ep 5 and 7
graphic depictions of cyanide poisoning in ep 2/3
video depictions of non-consensual r*pe and threats of revenge p*rn in ep 2/3
(mild) visual depictions of drowning in ep 7 (to my knowledge there's more in ep 8 but i have not started yet)
visual depictions and further verbal trauma of s*xual abuse between an adult and a minor (teacher and a student) in ep 4/5
i know its implied, but most notably in ep 6, visual depiction of blood (not excessivly graphic but the tone was triggering enough)
+ more: guns, bullying, alcohol, emotional abuse, and body dysmorphia
i know there's more but this is all i can think of for now! i want everyone to stay safe going into it; i certainly went into this blind but have watched other shows of this kind so it didn't chase me away. there's still plenty of lighthearted moments and a hefty amount of art references that kept me glued, just enough to keep the series at a perfect balance
this will likely be labeled mature, just to be cautious. its still a really good show to me
#listen i know a post like this might not actually NEED to change its settings to Mature but consider this: im a wuss#it can be very heavy for others#suicide cw#tw: suicide#child abuse cw#abuse cw#death cw#murder cw#blood cw#i'll add to the tags too for good measure#under the skin#under the skin cdrama#replies#hoppipolla#ill need to pause the series for a bit and then finish it in Oct#might be top 5 for me for 2023 so far. mwah
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the girl next door 28
Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as age gap, manipulation, chronic illness, noncon/dubcon, coercion, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.
Summary: A new neighbour moves in and upends your already disarrayed life.
Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself.
This lewk but silverfox
As you come outside, your mom sits on the deck, under the umbrella with a pair of sunglasses over her eyes. You can hardly tell if she’s awake. You hug yourself as you come into the summer light and look around. There’s a bottle of sun lotion on the railing of the deck.
You cross the wooden planks and grab the bottle. As you pop the cap, your mom mutters. You turn as you squirt some into your hand. You look at her.
“Do you need some?” You ask.
“What in the lord’s name are you wearing?” She snarls.
“Um,” you look down, once more shocked by the sight of your own body. “A swim suit. I... I’ll put a shirt on.”
“Hey, Hol,” Steve comes out in a pair of lilac coloured trunks, “what do you think? Got the kiddo a swimsuit so she can enjoy the pool.”
“Oh, you did?” Your mom hums as she leans her face in her hand, “how nice.”
“Too bad you can’t join us,” Steve approaches and stops between you and your mom’s chair. “Got myself some new shorts.”
He turns to her as you’re left watching his back. His muscle is thick and you can see it tense with his movement. He’s tall and his shoulders are broad, his arms burly too. Age has only seemed to add to his strong form.
“Those are nice,” your mom says without much conviction, “I got a suit somewhere but... the water makes me sick. It’s these damn meds.”
“Yeah, but they keep you going,” Steve nears her and bends to kiss her forehead. “You can be our lifeguard, how about that? Been a while since I’ve been in the deep end.”
“You’re so...” she pauses and measures her words, “silly.”
“It’s a nice day,” he booms, “did you try the smoothie? I put some vitamin C in it, too. Should help you feel a bit better. Oh, kiddo,” he claps and turns to face you, “did you want a smoothie? I got fresh raspberries.”
“Erm, no thanks, I’m good,” you affirm and back away, focusing on spreading the lotion up your arms.
“Towels are down on the chairs,” he says, “Holly Berry,” he gives your mom a strange nickname, “you sure you don’t wanna move closer?”
“I needa stay in the shade,” she fans herself and reaches for the bright orange smoothie, “that damn inhaler. I told the doctor take me off it--”
“Now, he’s just doing his job--”
“I know. Don’t gotta keep saying so,” she slams the cup down and you glance over as her hand shakes violently. She’s worked up. She sits back as she tries to still herself, only for the tremor to quake through her.
“Right, well, chill out,” Steve shrugs and backs off, “we’ll go cool off in the water.”
He turns to face you and nears, “can I get some of that?”
You offer him the bottle then work at smearing the lotion along your collar bone and around the top of the suit. You bring your hands to your tummy, rubbing the oiliness into your skin as Steve takes the lotion. You notice his eyes linger on you for a moment.
“Come on, gotta check the temperature,” he waves you down the steps.
You follow as you continue to work the lotion into your skin. You still need to get your legs and face. You continue across the lawn to the pool and Steve dollops a health heap of lotion into one hand before giving back the bottle. He slaps his hand against his chest and rubs in the sunscreen, his fingertips pressing into his muscles as he works down to his softer tummy.
You bend to your legs. You would’ve rather a one-piece just so you wouldn’t have to use as much. As you put a light layer on your face, Steve grabs the bottle from where you left it on the lounger.
“Here, turn around,” he squirts out the lotion into his palm. “I’ll get your back, you get mine.”
You can’t argue. Besides, you can barely look at him. You’d rather stare at the fence.
You turn and drop your arms. He puts his hands over your shoulders, jolting you, kneading harder than you expect. You feel his breath fan over the back of your head and he traces his thumbs around your shoulder blade, catching on the tail of the tie behind your neck. For a moment, you think he might pull it free.
He spreads his hands, dragging them down, working in the lotion around your hips and sides, sending shivers through you. A trickle of sweat rolls down your spine and you draw away. His fingertips trail along your lower back wistfully.
“Here,” he snatches up the lotion and hands it to you, smiling. You nod and take it.
He turns his back to you and you gulp. Oof. You don’t know what’s worse. Being touched or touching him. It all seems so... strange even if it’s completely innocent. You’re just helping him. He does have a lot of back.
You squeeze out the cream and rub it between your hands, hovering them before his back before you make yourself touch him. You swipe your hands up and down and side to side, working around the lotion to full cover his back. He groans and twitches as you come along the back of his ribs.
“Careful,” he turns his head to speak over his shoulder, “old college injury. Don’t think it ever really healed.”
“Oh,” you ease up, “sorry.”
“Nah, you can’t hurt me, sweetie,” he insists and leans into your touch.
You finish up and retract, trying to absorb what’s left into your palms. The greasy sensation irritates you. He turns as you reach to fix the tie behind your neck, making sure it’s tight as it feels like the suit is slipping. He blinks and his eyes flick up and down.
“Well, are you gonna dive in?” He asks.
“Erm, uh, I can just use the ladder,” you say as you tiptoe around him to the edge. You look down into the crystalline water, “it looks cold.”
“Got the heater going,” he says, “shouldn’t be too bad.”
He stands beside you and extends his leg to dip a toe into it, “not bad at all.”
“Mm, maybe in a few minutes,” you cross your arms again, “I’m not a great swimmer.”
“Well, I can keep an eye on you,” he reaches to tickle along your upper arm, goose dumps rising across your skin.
“Sure, uh,” you edge away from him and run your fingers along where he touched. His hands are always on you. At least that’s how it seems to you. “Just... gotta build up my nerve.”
“Mm,” he backs up, “sure, well, there’s the diving board and... I guess you could just sunbathe.”
“Yeah, mayb--”
Before you can finish, you’re scooped off your feet. You cry out as Steve lifts you up and launches himself into the pool. He keeps you in his arms as he splashes into the water and you flail wildly. You’re swallowed up as the chlorine floods your mouth and nostrils and you choke beneath the surface.
You writhe against him, his thick arms around you, and try to free yourself. The knot at the front of your bikini catches your pinkie and you struggle to untangle both your hand and your body at once. You finally come up above the water and gasp as Steve follows, laughing as he keeps his embrace loosely around you.
“Sometimes you just need the extra push,” he beams, “isn’t it refreshing?”
You push the water away from your face and cough. As you do, he goes quiet and you spit up behind your hand. You can only taste the chlorinated water as you hack. You look up at him as his hands slowly creep up your sides. His blue eyes are fixated on you but not on your face.
You look down at your chest, the knot on the front of the suit barely clinging together as you spill out from the fabric. The top merely acts to frame your nudity and you sputter as you try to cover yourself and his hands continue to ascend. You back away from his grasp and turn away.
“Sweetie, it’s fine, all good,” he assures you.
“Why would you do that?” You sniffle.
“It was only some fun. I didn’t know... I’m sorry. I didn’t know the suit didn’t fit right.”
“It’s not the suit,” you stretch the wet fabric across your tits as best you can, keeping your back to him. “I said... I told you... I wanted to wait.”
“Ah come on, what good is having a pool if you don’t go in it?”
“It’s your pool,” you snap, your cheek on fire as the rest of you buzzes. You wade through the water with effort. “I never asked for it.”
“Now sweetie, don’t be like that.”
“Please,” you pull yourself up the later, the water slaking off you and threatening to drag down the top once more, “leave me alone.”
You cross your arms over your chest, hooking your hands over your shoulders, and rush away from the pool. You glance up at your mother as you pass the deck, hooking around to the gate instead. She doesn’t react as her head lolls over the back of the chair and her feet are splayed wide. You should get her inside but you can’t stop. You’re too humiliated.
You race through the gate, not bothering to close it behind you. You clammer around into your mother’s yard and storm up the steps, crashing through the front door. The tears spring the moment you break the threshold as it sets in. You can’t believe that happened. You can’t believe he saw it. You just... can’t.
#steve rogers#dark steve rogers#dark!steve rogers#steve rogers x reader#drabble#au#silverfox au#the girl next door#mcu#marvel#captain america#series
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... Fic request for something with Blupee Wild? Congrats on the follower milestone <3
Tysm for the request @luna-loveboop <333 I hope you like what I came up with (and that you feel better really soon)
——————————————
Beneath the light of a silvery moon, Twilight looks much too pale.
He lies on his side on the bedmat, covered in a thick blanket. His eyes are closed, one arm propping up the pillow his head rests wearily upon. Every exhale is labored, every inhale dragged through fever-tight lungs.
Wild lopes towards him on tiny bunny feet. His movements are cautious and slow; his antennae twitch, curious, worried. The last thing he wants to do now is to awaken his brother. Not after all that he has endured today. And it is not as though he is in any definite danger. Time is keeping watch and his care of his ill descendant has been nothing short of attentive.
Add to that the fullness of the moon, the serenity of its all-encompassing light. It is the kind that dances with careful sorcery. The kind that peels back the humanity his body clings to, revealing the spirit within.
His blupee form is by no means a secret to everyone, and yet…he has not exactly been open about his unnatural situation either. Tonight is not a night when Wild should venture out of his little corner of darkness. Tonight is not a night when he should fall prey to worry.
But he can’t help it.
His brother is here, lying only a short distance from his own bedmat, shivering like a leaf tossed by a merciless wind. And that is something Wild cannot ignore.
So, forward he goes, past his fellow heroes, sleeping the sound slumber of worried exhaustion; past Time, shadowed form taut as a ready bowstring. Silent as the tranquil black above, ethereal coat reflecting the shuddering remnants of the dying fire, he moves toward Twilight.
Once there, he sits for a moment. With golden eyes as round and wide as an owl’s, he stares. The rancher looks even worse up close. Beads of sweat dot his furrowed brow. One hand is fisted in the blanket, knuckles still white from a death hold. The undersides of his eyes are framed in shadows that curve and carve deep along the form of his markings. There are tear tracks on his cheeks – new ones, since Time has only just wiped the old away – and their sorrowful trail gleams blue in Wild’s wake.
The rancher has only been sick for a day and Wild swears he has already become gaunt.
The broth he made for him earlier had not been a success. Neither had the bread or the potion brewed to be less bitter. At least, he had been able to keep down the herbal tea Wild had brewed. Everyone had seemed relieved when he finished the first cup and didn’t instantly turn an unhealthy shade of green. In the end, they had successfully coaxed him to drink two more cups.
Wild has done all that he can for now. He knows that deep inside. But it doesn’t feel that way.
Antennae drooping, he moves closer. Gently, he nuzzles Twilight’s cheek. His nose twitches at the familiar scent of mist-kissed forest and fresh springs, of sun-baked hay and the fur of beasts.
Twilight has always smelled like home. Felt like it too, in a way none of the other heroes do. Except…except for Time. He feels like home as well.
Wild nuzzles Twilight one more time for good measure, then, tucks himself beneath the rancher’s outstretched arm. Curling into a ball, he faces his brother, prepared for an all-night vigil. He will watch over him, comfort him, keep him safe. Even in this tiny form, these are things he can do.
Twilight shifts slightly, inhaling shakily. Eyes of gold flecked blue flutter open. A haze of feverish exhaustion hangs heavy upon them as he gazes at Wild.
“C-cub?” It is a croak, so hoarse it would be difficult to make out if not for their close proximity and Wild’s enhanced hearing.
He sets his paw on Twilight’s cheek, watches as his face splits into a tremulous grin. The rancher reaches out a trembling hand and runs his fingers through his silken fur. A sound caught somewhere between the chirp of a bird and the purr of a cat rises in Wild’s throat. An exclamation of joy at the touch.
“You're so���so small,” Twilight says in wonder.
His fingers find the spot just behind Wild’s antennae and scratch softly there, eliciting another happy purr. He chuckles.
“And so soft.”
The sheer elation in Twilight’s tired voice sends a thrill of welcome happiness through Wild’s heart. He snuggles closer.
“How…” The murmur is heavy with the return of slumber, tinged with distant curiosity. “Never seen you like this ‘fore, cub. What are y-you?”
I’m a blupee, Wild replies in the musical tones audible only to beasts. He cocks his head, thinking. It’s the creature my spirit takes the form of. It’s a long story, but it’s been happening ever since I woke up from my hundred year nap. Every time I step into the moonlight. I don’t really know why. I can do it on command too though.
“Like me,” Twilight whispers and his voice has grown oddly tight. “Did-didn’t know you were…”
Yeah. Wild blinks wide eyes, rests his head level with the rancher’s. I’m like you. Pretty cool, huh?
“Does it hurt?”
No. He heaves a small sigh. It actually feels natural. Like this is as much me as my Hylian form.
Twilight smiles then, small and trembling and dancing with emotions Wild cannot identify.
“I’m glad, cub,” he murmurs. “I’m r-really glad.”
Another series of shudders wrack his body and he winces, hissing through his teeth. In their wake he looks even more fatigued than before. His fingers still, eyelids drooping.
“S-sorry,” he breathes, “‘m not much company right now.”
Wild shifts so that he is pressed against him, hoping to provide some small warmth. At the very least, the welcome safety of companionship.
Don’t apologize. Rest. Get better. Then, we can go explore together. Like we did back in my Hyrule.
The rancher smiles again, small, wistful. “Yeah. That sounds nice.”
He breathes out, a sigh that’s weariness Wild can feel in his very soul. Only a few moments later, his face goes slack once more, the lines of discomfort smoothing out. Wild lays his head upon his paws and settles in.
Until then, I’ll watch over you.
#time pretending not to see the cuteness behind him: I love these boys so much#he’s absolutely telling Malon about this in his next letter#luna my beloved#trin answers#trin writes#follower milestone celebration#fic request#linked universe#linkeduniverse#lu wild#lu twilight#blupee wild au#sick fic
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i need need need headcanons for anthony with a gf who’s like got a career in STEM and she’s super smart and as an actor he’s amazed by her lmao.
this is so cute! thanks anon
I’m looking for a woman in STEM - Anthony Ramos x F! Reader
prompt: headcanons for Anthony who’s girlfriend is in STEM - i’ve picked biomed for a degree since my mom wanted me to do biomed in high school
TW: mentions of academic stress and panic attacks, mention of drugs used in medicine, mention of mental illness
🔬 when you both first met, and he first asked for where you graduated from, let me tell you - mans did NOT expect you to say ‘Cambridge’
🔬 ‘Oh, so like Cambridge College in Massachusetts?’
🔬 This man omg
🔬 When you said ‘No, England’ he felt goosebumps cause like ‘geez louise CAMBRIDGE?’ and when you casually said you did biomed he was like ‘wait what-’
🔬 ‘Me? Oh, I did Musical Theatre’ he says matter of factly, and you’d add ‘Oh, I played piano when I was in elementary-’
🔬 You’d be the definition of a perfect golden child. He knows that couldn’t have been easy
🔬 When you two do start dating, he’s always bragging ‘Oh my girlfriend does lab research for this new supplement for this drug for schizophrenia in children-’ HE’S A PRO YAPPER. Especially in interviews.
🔬 He’s so proud of everything you’ve done - doing medicinal research at NYMC (New York Medical College)
🔬 Maybe in the winter as you two are baking (you always make sure the measurements are perfect, never letting him measure anything out lol) he always says baking is an ‘art’
🔬 ‘Actually babe, it’s chemistry�� you’d chuckle, taking a bite out of some gingerbread cookies, and ever since, he’s jokingly kept a lab coat and goggles and chides you for ‘not tying your hair in the lab’.
🔬 You’d tell him about how hard high school and college was for you, having to get a scholarship, going to British private schools because the medicine industry is mad competitive and honestly, you need to show something off in your application.
🔬 You’d tell him how even though you did Cambridge IGCSE and A level courses all throughout high school, it was no match for what England had in store for you - panic attacks became a weekly thing.
🔬 I mean, you did Pure Math, Biology, Chemistry and Psychology A and AS levels for gods sake - its an absolute mindfuck.
🔬 He’s always there to reassure her how smart she is and that she’s human no matter what - that college is over, and the drug trials will end up great, and a bunch of kids will get some damn good medication.
🔬 He LOVES it when you come watch his shows and movies. It means the absolute world to him.
🔬 Soon, he kind of drifted away from theatre after Hamilton, and started in film, and would always get super excited whenever he’d get some remotely science-y role.
🔬 Like in In Treatment, he’d come to you for help for some advice on his role, on some deeper level analysis (not as deep as an actual therapist guys, just a psych student level) and you’d be squealing with pride when you see him on TV.
🔬 And when he got into the more Sci-Fi movies like Transformers, he’d tell you ‘it’s not that deep, baby.’ whenever he’d catch your brows furrow in confusion at the misuse of a niche scientific term
🔬 He’d be so happy when he landed Twisters, even though you weren’t a meteorology student, your use of organic chemistry would def have some revelations when watching Kate use some form of polycarbonate.
🔬 ‘they’re right! they use silver iodide for cloud seeding!” you’d giggle.
🔬 affectionately calls you ‘nerd’ all the time.
— for anyone not british, igcse is from grades 9-10 and a levels are a bit like AP! but like they have a lot of depth. you’re not expected to do more than three.
#foryou#fyp#tumblr fyp#anthony ramos#twisters 2024#twisters movie#hamilton musical#america#anthony fucking ramos#in the heights movie#in the heights#twisters#transformers#rise of the beasts#in treatment season 4#anthony ramos x reader
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The Number That Changes Everything
3 years ago, I had suspicions that Rex might have a different age. So to dispel all my doubts, I began to draw a timeline of events using measurable facts:
Besides the show, there are other sources indicating that Rex’s current age is 15 years old.
I get it, Man of Action, it’s a “red line” that I shouldn’t cross if I really want to know the truth ^_^
As a result, I got 5 scales:
These scales on Rex’s timeline:
Even in the first version of the graph I have obvious conclusions:
Rex’s birthday is clearly not the same date as Six’s, despite the fact that an entire episode was devoted to this topic.
The Nanite Event and Six’s memory loss also did not occur on this date, otherwise we learned it from Caesar.
Yeas, the show has a character like Caesar, but lack of mention or hint of Rex’s true age from him, don’t letting me to set colored scales correctly..
I could have made a lot of versions of scales location, but something told me to pay attention to dots and that there is also a connection between them..
Hmm… dots forming another scale…
No way..
You’ve got to be kidding me?
Is it for real?
So thanks to WIKI I can even set the correct proportions!
Since things of «Lions and Lambs» and «Back to Black» happen on the same day for Rex, I placed dots on the same level.
I can’t make the dot’s scale longer/shorter because it affects the time and course of events
Well, I have the correct positions of colored scales (second graph), but still no answers. Perhaps if I add Six’s timeline, it will be easier for me to search.
Based on Six’s timeline, almost 2 years have passed in the show, and since there is not a single hint about Rex’s age in the series, so it’s quite possible that the answer lies in the gap of 6 months. But how far should I move Rex’s scale?
The show featured numbers such as «5», «6», «10» (Ben 10) and «15», where the number «6» has a special meaning:
Only 6 Master Control Nanites 6th dangerous man on the planet Six lost 6 years of memory Rex remembers his last 6 years Rex was sent 6 months into the future
Definitely, creators have another, special number and they had moments when they changed the airing dates of episodes just for this certain number. And I can tell which episode this happened.
The show has a special: «HEROES UNITED», the official release of which was 11.25.2011, in other words, it was the 3rd episode on air, but on GRwiki it goes as the 11th episode. Why did they decide to use 11?
I know MOA have such a character as Kevin 11, you don’t have to comment about it ^^
Besides this, «11» also relates to the another ep. like «Back to Black» which was released on the beautiful date: 11.11.2011. It’s remarkable that just in this episode we learn how scared Rex can be when he sees that Providence instantly changed for him, like he had lost his memory again.
But he is not the only one. Six also was in same situation. And do you know what I found out? «11» has its plase in «Six minus Six» too!
When Six was released from his obligation to search for Rex’s family, and One was gone, the anxiety is over in his life. But it wasn’t for long. Сreators hinted back in the series “Promises, Promises” that changes await him.. Six: «Whether for good or ill, our fates will follow the same path».
But that’s not all!
This is it, guys…
One day… some artists of the show published their resume of Generator Rex in honor of it’s anniversary.
Guys!..
It was in 11th Anniversary! 11th! This number is truly special, no less than «6»!
It was in «Six minus Six» where Six changed, It was in «Back to Black» where Providence has changed, It was in «Heroes United» where Ben helped save the World from Alpha, changing Rex’s Builds. And it was on the day when Six found Rex, boy’s life IS CHANGED!
Rex was 11 years old!
I’m not sure that Rex’s and Six’s birthdays are identical, but it’s enough for me to know that these dates in that same 6-month gap. As a result, Rex missed both of his birthdays according to the calendar and memory. And the fact that Rex remembers 6 years was a clue to his true age all these years … astoundingly o_O
Man of Action, I'm giving a standing applaud! It feels like a whole paradigm has changed!.. For good, of course ^^
BONUS
When I was studying the coincidences with the number 11, I thought that if I slightly change the positions of episodes of Season 3, because the existing one looks unnatural and this is what I got:
As far as I remember, starting from the “Black and White”, both sides began to search for meta-nanites and apparently the last one should have been found in special episode, in which Six’s memory should be back too, because it was maaany hints abouth this [ in ep. «End Game 1 & 2» ]… and so as we found out, the creators leave hints for a reason. Also in the same special, the leadership of Providence passes from Black Knight to White, because in the episode «End Game 2» after Rex was kidnapped, Six receives support from the army.
#Man of Action#Generator Rex#GenRex#Gen Rex#11th anniversary#Rex Salazar#Agent Six#Ben 10#White Knight#Black Knight#The Number That Changes Everything
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Seeing as so many people seemed to find my post about the "lesser used causes of delirium" interesting I thought I might do a similar one about fever.
So I read a LOT of sick fics -it's a problem. And I would say that fever is probably one of the most commonly used sickness/illness symptoms in them. Which makes sense - fever is fascinating and can have so many complex and interesting effects on the whumpee.
However, I’ve noticed that in most fics, fever is typically caused by infections or illnesses such as the flu. And in away this is a sahame because there are SO MANYU other, less frequently explored, causes of fever. Several of which could add a good deal of tension if Caretaker doesn't fully understand it and tries to treat it like an infection or flu.
For instance, I think I;ve seen psychogenic used maybe twice. Heatstroke is depicted more often, but many people might not realize that it falls under the fever umbrella. So on that basis, let's start with a definition of fever and then explore some of these lesser-used causes.
Fever, or pyrexia, is a temporary increase in body temperature, often due to an illness.
A fever is usually considered to be a body temperature above 38°C (100.4°F).
Environmental Causes:
Hypothermia-Induced Fever
Heatstroke
Definition: Paradoxical fever can occur during the rewarming process after hypothermia, where the body temperature temporarily spikes.
Symptoms: confusion, shivering, and a transient increase in body temperature. This response requires careful monitoring and gradual rewarming techniques to prevent complications.
Definition: Heatstroke is a severe form of hyperthermia, where the body’s temperature regulation fails due to prolonged exposure to high temperatures, leading to a dangerously high body temperature.
Symptoms: confusion, altered mental state, slurred speech, hot and dry skin, and possibly unconsciousness. If not treated promptly, heatstroke can be life-threatening.
Drug-Induced Fever
Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome
Definition: Drug-induced fever occurs when a medication causes an increase in body temperature. This can happen due to various mechanisms, such as an allergic reaction, the drug itself having fever as a side effect, or through drug interactions.
Symptoms: high temperature that does not respond to standard fever-reducing treatments, rash, swelling, and other allergic reaction signs. Identifying the offending drug can be challenging, especially if the patient is on multiple medications.
Serotonin Syndrome
Definition: Neuroleptic malignant syndrome (NMS) is a rare but serious reaction to antipsychotic medications, characterized by fever, muscle rigidity, and altered mental status.
Symptoms: high fever, severe muscle stiffness, altered mental status, and autonomic dysfunction such as irregular heart rate or blood pressure. Prompt recognition and discontinuation of the offending drug, along with supportive treatment, are essential to prevent serious complications or death.
Malignant Hyperthermia
Definition: Serotonin syndrome is a potentially life-threatening condition resulting from an excess of serotonin in the central nervous system, often due to drug interactions or overdose of serotonergic medications.
Symptoms: high fever, agitation, increased reflexes, tremor, sweating, dilated pupils, and diarrhea. Severe cases can lead to seizures, irregular heartbeat, and unconsciousness. Treatment involves discontinuing the causative agents and providing supportive care to manage symptoms.
Definition: Malignant hyperthermia is a rare but life-threatening reaction to certain anesthesia drugs, causing a rapid increase in body temperature and severe muscle contractions.
Symptoms: a sudden and severe increase in body temperature, muscle rigidity, tachycardia, and dark brown urine. Immediate treatment with dantrolene and supportive measures is crucial to prevent serious complications or death.
Endocrine Disorders:
Adrenal Crisis
Thyroid Storm
Definition: An adrenal crisis occurs when the body produces insufficient cortisol due to adrenal insufficiency or Addison’s disease.
Symptoms: high fever, severe abdominal pain, vomiting, confusion, low blood pressure, and shock. Immediate treatment with corticosteroids and fluid replacement is crucial to avoid life-threatening complications.
Definition: A thyroid storm is a rare but severe complication of hyperthyroidism, where an excessive amount of thyroid hormone leads to a dramatic increase in metabolic rate and body temperature.
Symptoms: a high fever, rapid heart rate, agitation, delirium, and potentially life-threatening cardiovascular complications. Treatment requires aggressive management of thyroid hormone levels and supportive care.
Inflammatory Diseases:
Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD)
Vasculitis
Definition: Systemic inflammation from conditions like Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis.
Symptome: Persistent fever, abdominal pain, diarrhea, weight loss, fatigue, specific organ/system-related signs; managing the underlying condition helps control fever.
Definition: Inflammation of blood vessels causing systemic inflammation.
Symptoms: Persistent fever, organ-specific symptoms; treatment involves managing the underlying inflammatory process.
Autoimmune Disorders:
Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (Lupus)
Rheumatoid Arthritis
Definition: Autoimmune disorder causing inflammation and tissue damage.
Symptoms: Joint pain, swelling, fatigue, persistent fever; symptoms vary widely and fever often fluctuates with disease activity.
Definition: Autoimmune disorder affecting joints.
Effects: Joint pain, swelling, fatigue, persistent fever; management of underlying disease helps control fever.
Psychogenic Fever
Definition: Psychogenic fever is a stress-induced condition where emotional stress or psychological factors lead to an elevated body temperature.
Symptom: a sudden increase in body temperature during or after stressful events, with no underlying infection or physical cause. It can be persistent and resistant to conventional fever treatments. This type of fever can create compelling narrative tension, as it highlights the interplay between mind and body.
As usual this is far from an exhaustive list, more a jumping off or starting point I guess.
Symptoms of Fever
Fever can present with a variety of symptoms, which can be broadly categorized into general, specific, and severe symptoms:
General Symptoms:
Elevated Body Temperature: The hallmark of fever is an increase in body temperature above the normal range (typically above 38°C or 100.4°F).
Sweating: As the body attempts to cool down, excessive sweating is common.
Chills and Shivering: Despite the high body temperature, individuals may feel cold and experience shivering.
Headache: A common symptom due to the body's inflammatory response.
Muscle Aches: Myalgia or generalized muscle pain can accompany fever.
Fatigue and Weakness: The body's increased metabolic rate can lead to significant fatigue and a general feeling of weakness.
Loss of Appetite: Anorexia is often seen with fever as the body's digestive processes slow down.
Specific Symptoms:
Dehydration: High temperatures can lead to significant fluid loss through sweating.
Rapid Heart Rate (Tachycardia): The heart works harder to circulate blood and dissipate heat.
Rapid Breathing (Tachypnea): Increased respiratory rate helps in heat dissipation.
Flushed Skin: The skin may appear red and warm due to increased blood flow.
Irritability: Particularly in children, fever can cause increased irritability and fussiness.
Reduced Urine Output: Dehydration can lead to oliguria (reduced urine output).
Severe Symptoms:
Confusion and Delirium: High fevers can lead to altered mental states, confusion, and even delirium.
Seizures: Febrile seizures can occur, especially in young children.
Hallucinations: Severe fevers can cause hallucinations or vivid dreams.
Unconsciousness: In extreme cases, high fever can lead to loss of consciousness.
Severe Dehydration: If not managed properly, dehydration can become life-threatening.
Organ Failure: Prolonged high fever can lead to multi-organ dysfunction or failure.
Possible Effects of Fever
Physiological Effects:
Psychological Effects:
Increased Metabolism: Fever increases metabolic rate, leading to greater energy expenditure and nutrient use.
Immune Response Activation: Fever often indicates an active immune response, with increased production of white blood cells and antibodies.
Protein Denaturation: Extremely high fevers can cause proteins to denature, impacting cellular function.
Electrolyte Imbalance: Increased sweating and fluid loss can lead to imbalances in electrolytes such as sodium, potassium, and chloride.
Altered Mental Status: Fever can impact cognitive functions, causing confusion, memory disturbances, and impaired judgment.
Anxiety: Persistent high fever can cause significant anxiety and distress in both the patient and caregivers.
Stress: The physical discomfort and potential complications associated with fever can lead to increased stress levels.
Sleep Disturbances: Fever can disrupt normal sleep patterns, leading to insomnia or frequent waking.
Managing Fever
General Management:
Specific Management:
Hydration: Ensuring adequate fluid intake to prevent dehydration.
Rest: Allowing the body to conserve energy and focus on fighting the underlying cause of the fever.
Cooling Measures: Using cool compresses, tepid baths, or fans to help lower body temperature.
Antipyretics: Medications like acetaminophen or ibuprofen to reduce fever and alleviate discomfort.
Monitoring: Regularly checking temperature and observing for any signs of worsening condition or complications.
Identifying and Treating Underlying Cause: Addressing the root cause of the fever, whether it’s an infection, drug reaction, or other medical condition.
Medications: Depending on the cause, antibiotics, antivirals, corticosteroids, or other specific treatments may be required.
Supportive Care: Providing additional support such as oxygen, IV fluids, or mechanical ventilation in severe cases.
#whump tropes#whump community#fever whump#sick fics#illness whump#whump ideas#whump resource#causes of fever
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[BAD DECISION #40] Spinning Bottles
warnings: one of my faves!! drinking games, alcohol, home noraebang a la in the soop, brief game-related kiss with someone who isn't kook, jealous kook!!, ankle hold!! mm mm mm, kitchen kisses <3, mutual masturbation, sex toys (m&f), cum eating, cum swapping, multiple orgasms, just a fun time all round <3, the starlovers are really good at taking breaks!! self control is their forte!!
a/n: they're on wings which is like track 3 of the sy: final setlist and I can't promise ill get much more done of this bc they're in sparkly suits and I'm just a girl
wc: 14.5K
bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)
AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI
"Stop," you laugh in that oh-so-serene way you always do when you don't really want Jeongguk to stop whatever he's doing. You just like an excuse to bicker - but he's just the same. Enjoys the back and forth. Always puts a smile on his face.
In the kitchen area of the main house, you've been setting up with Namjoon for the better part of half an hour, making sure that everything is ready for tipsy bingo later that evening.
The room is a chaotic mix of party decorations; an exuberant clash of colours that makes the previously millennial-grey kitchen come to life. Streamers hang from the ceiling, as do the balloons, and a few tiny disco balls, which are really just repurposed Christmas tree decorations.
"Not doing anything," Jeongguk mumbles through a mouthful of the puffed cheese balls that have been set out on the table as a snack for the evening.
Stood on a chair as you tape another one of the disco balls in place, you look over your shoulder to find Jeongguk's cheeks full to the brim. Eyes like a deer caught in headlights, he whips his hand away from the bowl, which now has significantly fewer snacks in it than it did 5 minutes ago.
"Gguk!" You laugh once more, simply shaking your head. "Told you already. They're for later."
"I'm not doing anything," he protests yet again, as if you don't have a pair of working eyes and ears.
"Well, in that case, do something ," you say. "Be useful."
"And do what?" He mumbles through yet another mouthful.
Unbelievable .
Tossing the tape in your hand down onto the kitchen counter, you hop down from the chair and just shake your head as you approach him. His fingertips are orange, and he can't lick them clean because his mouth is full of the cheese puffs that he's pretending aren't there.
"You're like a hamster," you deadpan, squeezing his cheeks a little bit - which causes his ever-so-large eyes to widen even further, scared of the pressure you're applying. Thankfully for him, you don't really fancy getting coated in his regurgitated food. You'll share many things with him, but this is not one of them.
Loosening your grip, you walk around the kitchen island to check in the fridge for the alcohol you bought earlier. "Fancy tending the bar, Dionysus boy?"
Jeongguk frowns. Swallows down the food he totally wasn't eating. Says, "It's my day off!"
"Pretty please," you plead with a pout, and then for good measure you add, "Koo. Please."
He outwardly scowls, but his insides are doing all sorts of silly loop-di-loop shit that usually only happens on rollercoasters. "Don't call me that. Witch."
"Just make a few pitchers for me," you implore, ignoring the choice of insult. You quite enjoy the idea of putting a spell on him. Might make him behave for once. "Starfuckers, Star Lovers, anything. I don't mind. A Woo-woo maybe?"
He scoffs, now. "A Woo-woo? Who do you think I am, B?"
Making his way around the counter, he taps your hips and scoots you out of the way before grabbing the liquor from the bottom shelf.
"A fuckin' woo-woo. It's like you don't even know me," he scolds you. Is ridiculously obtuse in his little tantrum, not caring for the fact he'll be making you exactly what you want. "You'll get what you're given - and you're getting star fuckers. And you're gonna like them."
Rather be getting star fucked, your brain sighs, and you almost verbalise the command for it to shut up.
Instead, you just beam at him like the shooting star you are. "Thank you!"
Leaving him to mumble false annoyances under his breath, you get back on with decking the room to the absolute nines. Jeongguk takes over the playlist, and you let him, even if you do lament the fact Charlie Puth seems to be every other song. The thing is, Jeongguk's voice harmonises so heavenly that it makes even the most overplayed of songs enjoyable.
Eventually, he makes himself extra useful and helps Namjoon rearrange some of the furniture to make the set-up a little bit more like a bingo hall. You and Namjoon get your very own stage - or rather, the boys just haul in a couple of wooden palettes from the deck area that will one day be chopped down for firewood.
Disguised by a little fabric and even more decorative touches from your hands, the room looks like a whimsical coming together of Dionysus and your apartment. Colourful, a little makeshift and incredibly welcoming, it's perfect. Fairy lights line the walls, balloons are scattered around the floor and disco balls take their place on the ceiling.
"Christ alive," is all Jimin mutters as he enters the room - and that's how you know it's perfect. As long as his minimalism-loving interior designer ass hates it, it's everything you could ever want and more.
There's a joy that comes with a room decorated like they're anticipating a toddler's birthday party, yet there are wine glasses in the place where there should be sippy cups - although now you come to think about it, perhaps sippy cups would have been a good idea.
You've barely explained the instructions of the night, and the group are already getting merry. Jeongguk's welcoming shots were a little stronger than normal, by design. He knows you have high hopes for your little event, and wants to help achieve that.
Dressed to the nines while the rest of the group are casual, you and Namjoon are severely committed to the bit. He's in a sweatshirt and bowtie, while you're wearing a pretty, white summer dress with a few ruffles. It's not all that dignified. It's so short that you know bending over isn't a good idea - but it doesn't matter.
Jeongguk still stares at you like a lovesick puppy regardless.
The first round is simple - just your standard game of Bingo. Namjoon has been brushing up on all the correct terms - "Legs eleven! Duck and dive, twenty-five! Meal for two, sixty-nine!"
That last one earns a few groans from the crowd.
It does, however, get a little smirk on Jeongguk's face. On yours, too. You think you're coy when you sneak a glance in his direction, only to see he's doing just the same.
The contact of your gaze lasts for a fraction of a second, but it's enough to awaken dormant butterflies that seem to have hatched quite recently. You're all of a flutter. Can't quite seem to focus.
Thankfully it's Namjoon leading this round, and not you.
Yoongi is the first to call bingo. Screams it quite violently, actually, then plays it cool as if he didn't give a shit. Strolls up to the stage to present his card - not that you've been keeping track of the numbers. Still, you and Namjoon feign deliberation between yourselves, then crown him your first winner.
His prize? Watching on as everyone takes a shot of his choice.
And because he's an absolute heathen, he chooses Fireball.
"You sick fuck," Jimin gasps before he's even taken the shot of cinnamon whisky. Hates the stuff. Knows he's in for a world of pain when he wakes up with a hangover the next morning.
"Not my fault you're a loser," Yoongi teases. "Win next time and then you can pick."
And so, by some miracle - or just him convincing Nabi to switch bingo sheets with him - he does.
Living with a bartender has many perks, and learning specific shots is just one of them. Jimin really hasn't utilised it enough, but Jeongguk looks on with pride as Jimin sets up a round of slippery nipples.
Equal parts sambuca and Baileys, the different densities of the alcohol means that the bottom half of the glass is entirely transparent, while the top half is a pale, creamy brown. Appetising? No. Delicious? Also, no. Fun to watch other people drink? Absolutely.
This time, Jimin forces you and Namjoon to drink. You protest. Cite a particularly bad night out (and morning after) thanks to slippery nipples.
Jeongguk calls you a pussy from across the room.
Challenged, you down it instantly, and mouth 'fuck you' at him after you've stopped wincing from the taste.
He just knocks his shot back without any trouble, grinning as he looks at you, his brows quickly rising and then falling. In the corner of his mouth, his lip ring does that godforsaken thing you love so much, and you decide that you simply cannot look at him for the rest of the evening.
By the third round, things are getting lairy.
Seoyeon calls bullshit when Yoongi wins again - "We're supposed to be a team! You can't be throwing me under the bus!" - and the judges have no choice but to disqualify him - "It's my party!" - and then give him a penalty shot for arguing with the adjudicators - "You're both uninvited to the wedding."
When Seoyeon calls 'bingo' two numbers later, you realise that perhaps she had ulterior motives.
"Unbelievable," Yoongi mutters when she passes him a shot of vodka with a giggle - but as soon as he's downed it, he's got his arm looped back around her shoulders again, and a kiss is being pressed to her cheek.
So in love are Seoyeon and Yoongi that both you and Namjoon gag a little - then force everyone else to take a shot. Star fuckers, this time. One of the pre-made batches you had Jeongguk mix-up earlier. Far more palatable than the other shots. In fact, they're so much nicer, that most people do another shot voluntarily.
With enough liquor in your systems to really let loose, you and Namjoon introduce the real bingo of the night.
Numbered balls back in the cage, Namjoon hands out fresh bingo sheets while you hold up a list, a wicked smile on your face.
Jeongguk recognises that smile. Fuckin' loves it. Knows it means one thing and one thing only: trouble.
"Each number correlates with a 'Never Have I Ever' prompt," you explain. "If you've never done it, you can cross the number off your bingo card."
"And if we have done it?" Taehyung asks, as if you weren't about to just move onto that stipulation of the rules. He's impatient. Wants to win.
"If you have done it, you take a sip of drink."
"And cross it off?" He clarifies, but is horrified to see you shake your head.
"Nope. If you've done it, you take a shot, and leave it uncrossed ."
"No one will ever win!" He wails - not realising that's the whole entire point.
The list is a combination of yours and Namjoon's knowledge. You've directly targeted your friends with things you know they've done. Have tried not to incriminate yourself too much, but you know there are things both you and Jeongguk will be drinking for.
Collectively deciding that no one would be able to win the game, you had both spent the entire time writing out the list giggling.
It was truly a bonding moment for you both - just as you're sure the revelations of everyone's sex lives will be for the whole group. Nothing says 'strong friendship' quite like knowing what your mates get up to in the sack. You and Jeongguk are a testament to this.
With 92 balls in the cage, you really had to scrape the barrel of sexual exploits when coming up with the list.
Which is why the first one gets you laughing before you even read it out.
"74," you announce. "Never have I ever had someone else's toes in my mouth."
"What?!"
"You guys are horrible," Danbi laughs - then takes a shot... as does nearly everyone in the room.
The only person who doesn't is Hoseok. He looks at you all with mild horror and intense curiosity. Points his finger around the room, and judgmentally says, "Disgusting. All of you. Animals."
"Don't knock it till you try it," Namjoon says, before swigging down some of his drink. You can't work out if he's flirting. Decide not to let it linger, 'cause from the look on Hoseok's face, he can't work it out either. Cute.
Namjoon begins to spin the ball cage once more. The small numbered balls rattle against one another as they fight to escape, until one eventually wins.
"21," you declare. "Never have I ever... been walked in on by my housemate."
Taehyung and Danbi both narrow their eyes at you - and your little grin only serves to prove that they're right to think it's aimed at them.
The horrors of New Year's Day still live in your mind rent-free. You don't think you'll ever be able to forget the image of Taehyung darting across your living room stark-bollock naked. You've seen freckles you never should have seen.
"What if your housemate heard you," Jimin asks. "Does that count?"
You and Namjoon deliberate for a moment, then decide that anything that gets more people drinking is positive. Tell him yes.
"Drink up, Gguk," Jimin teases across the room, earning himself a curt, but giggly 'Oh, fuck you' from his housemate. They've lived together for years, so it's hardly a surprise.
Thing is, you know Jimin to be a heavy sleeper. Know that you've gotten away with it pretty much every time you've hooked up with Jeongguk in his apartment. His room is against the living room, but it's across the apartment from Jimin's room. Even times in his bathroom have been masked by running water and the promise of Jimin's hangover keeping him knocked out.
Jimin doesn't tell you to drink.
An ache blooms in your chest in a way you don't really understand.
"Oh actually, in that case," Danbi speaks up, pulling you from your pitiful thoughts, as she pours out a fresh shot and passes it over to you. "You too."
"When?!" you exclaim, previous ponderings of Jeongguk's sex life fading into the abyss.
"Our walls are so thin," she laughs - and you know this to be true. "I've heard horrors."
"Oh, get fucked," you laugh, taking the shot regardless, deliberately not focusing back on Jeongguk.
Probably best.
The way he's looking at you right now would make you spiral; stare hard, jaw tense. He looks down at the table and shakes himself out of it before anyone can notice it. Stupid thing to get worked up about. He knows this. Refuses to let his misplaced emotions ruin the evening.
By the time someone calls bingo, you've lost track of everything - who's done what, which numbers have been called, quite literally all the important stuff.
Still, Taehyung takes his victory like a champ. Makes a speech.
Slurs, as he says, "I'd like to thank my beautiful girlfriend-" hiccups "- And say a very merry fuck you to all of my best friends. I love you."
And then he proceeds to dance, in a way no one expected, and nobody understands. He sort of looks like a cross between a 90-year-old man who occasionally transforms into a pole dancer - things he's learned from Danbi, no doubt.
Everyone watches on with mild horror, but nobody stops him. Jimin films it. In the morning, Taehyung will realise it's been viewed a couple of thousand times on the TikTok account that Jimin has never posted anything on before - but right now, you're all capable of making bad decisions.
Everyone, except for Yoongi and Seoyeon. Already pretty much stolen by drunken slumber, Yoongi carries her bridal-style back to their room in one of the outer houses, and you watch on with Danbi and Nabi cooing at just how sweet they are together.
Nabi knows full well the boys would draw moustaches on her if she fell asleep, and Danbi knows that Taehyung will be the one to fall asleep first if his little dancey-dance is anything to go by. You think about Jeongguk. Wonder if you'd become his responsibility.
"Oh, give over," Danbi laughs when you say you'd be left well alone. "Gguk'd probably worry you were dead and start doing CPR, or something stupid like that."
Nabi laughs. Agrees. "He'd get you on his back and Naruto-run you to the house. Probably land you both in the hospital."
Giggling at the stupidity of it all, you can't help but let the residual stardust in your heart burn. Glancing over at him, you wonder which scenario would be more likely to come true. When he feels your eyes on him, and looks up to meet them with a smile, you decide that you wouldn't mind either of them. Memories made with Jeongguk are things to be cherished, regardless of how stupid they may be.
It's why you ask him to come with you when you head over to the house you're staying in to grab a jacket. The air cools significantly at night still, and your little summer dress really isn't offering you enough protection from the chill.
"I like the dress," he says quietly as he sits on your bed while you rummage around for a jacket.
Holds his hands out for you to take - and when you do, he pulls you back to where you belong, between his spread legs.
Jeongguk looks you up and down as best he can when you're in such close proximity. Ends up just looking at your lips instead. Strokes your hip with the pad of this thumb.
"Pretty, pretty star, aren't you?"
Your eyes drop as your cheeks begin to flame ever so sweetly. Compliments from Jeongguk are nothing new, but they're never quite like this.
"Hmm?" He whispers, a little lopsided grin forming on his face when he realises how bashful you're being. "What's got you shy, huh?"
He really has to ask?
"Not shy," you hum sweetly. Dust make-believe lint away from his shirt. "Was just trying to figure out if that was dust or dandruff."
Rolling his eyes, he just says, "Fuck you, Byeol. My scalp is, like, a gift from the gods. Never had dandruff a day in my life, even when I bleached it."
"Should bleach it again," you tell him just to continue the deflection from your own awkwardness.
"Think you'd like it?" He asks.
"Not really into blondes," you lie. "Would be better for us if you repulsed me a little bit more than you already do."
"You'd be into me even if my head was shaved," Jeongguk snorts.
Ruffling your fingers in his hair, you shake your head. Smirk, and give him those eyes you always pretend to not realise you give him, before turning away to head for the door. "Nah. Need something to hold onto."
"You're filth, Disco Ball," he calls after you.
Looking back over your shoulder as you reach the door, the swish and flick of your ponytail matching the skirt of your summer dress, you're well aware that you're flirting. Well aware you shouldn't be flirting. Well aware that you shouldn't say the next few words, and yet you just can't seem to help yourself.
"You love it."
Jeongguk says nothing. Purses his lips. Fails to hide his smile, or formulate any response before you're already heading through the common area of the house and for the front door. He's damned if admits it, damned if he denies it. Silence in the space of truth is far safer, he thinks.
Following as you head back to the main house, you talk nonsense. The stars watch on with a fond sparkle, waves crashing ever so softly against the shore.
By the time you're back at the house, everyone has migrated to the sitting room, and Namjoon and Nabi have just finished a rendition of Finesse on the home-noraebang system.
Lights off, a couple of lamps and disco bulbs are the only thing providing any light, dappling you all in the most whimsical colours, as if you really are in a noraebang.
Jeongguk watches on with a quiet smile as you and Danbi enthuse over which song to sing next.
Neither of you are able to remember the name of any song ever released, apparently, and instead have resorted to tapping through random lettings into the machine and seeing if something tickles your fancy.
Currently, you're scrolling through artists that begin with 'C', and you can't help but fixate a little bit when you scroll down to Charlie Puth.
He's not your favourite - something about him just irks you - but you know Jeongguk loves him. Know that if you and Danbi sing one of his songs, it'll put a smile on Jeongguk's face. That he'll watch on from the sofas with a giggle, and probably sing along, too. Knowing the boys, you half think they all will.
And so you wave your arm in front of you as Danbi continues pressing the down button, and say, "That one! The duet with Selena."
One of Danbi's many blessings is the way she seems to retain every song she's ever heard in her brain. Even if a song she doesn't know is chosen, she can usually pick it up.
And so, even though it wouldn't be her first pick, she's more than happy to oblige. Clicks through, as Taehyung walks into the room with the final jug of premade starfuckers. Wisely, he's also got a big bottle of water tucked beneath his arm, but you doubt you'll be having much of that, in all honesty.
"I'll be Charlie," Danbi offers, knowing that her register is a little lower than yours - not that either of you can actually sing well. In fact, you half think the boys might have to leave the room. Singing really isn't a strength that belongs to either of you, but it is also what makes it so much fun.
You avoid turning to look at Jeongguk as the instrumental starts, the multi-coloured disco light shining on you both like you really are fully-fledged pros. Naively, you think you can get away with a glance in the mirror that's standing in the corner of the room - only to find a pair of fond eyes staring back at you.
Immediately, you look away. It's so embarrassing to be caught, regardless of how many times Jeongguk has locked eyes with you in mirrors. In the gym during those early days, in his bedroom, in his lounge, bars, bathrooms - ever-present. Always there. Like a pair of cosmic entities, you're still orbiting one another.
You're on course for collision, and it'll be catastrophic.
The inevitable calamity of your pairing is disregarded as Danbi gets into the lyrics, and you're pleased she's just as terrible as she always is. Gets everyone laughing, and singing along. It's Jeongguk's voice that holds your focus - and the way he stops singing when Danbi reaches the pre-chorus.
Don't wanna know,
It's odd, you think. The pre-choruses are always fun.
What kind of dress you're wearing tonight.
But then you stop singing, too.
If he's holding onto you so tight, the way I did before.
And then you're a little bolder in the way you let your eyes land in the mirror. Accept the way his eyes are already on you, lips parted ever so slightly, brows hard as he contemplates thoughts you don't want to let yourself imagine.
Jeongguk is in your head. The touch of his soft hands against your hips. The way he had declared you to be a pretty, pretty star bouncing around your skull. The fondness of his eyes on yours in the sanctuary of a private room.
It's so stupid . It was just a compliment. It really doesn't mean anything more than what it exactly expressed - and yet you wonder if Jeongguk is listening to the lyrics a little too intently. If he's thinking about you how you thought about him during the final round of bingo; with someone else.
You don't let yourself dwell on it. Danbi's chorus is finishing, and you've got lines to belt. Can't be letting your drunk brain get wrapped in nonsense that really doesn't make a difference.
Danbi forgets the concept of a duet, and continues to sing full pelt into the mic during Selena's part, but you don't mind. The pair of you sing at one another in such an aggressive manner that you can't help but giggle.
Every now and then I think you might want me to come show up at your door.
Jeongguk watches you a subtle smile on his lips. Wonders if you realise just how awful your singing is, and how volume doesn't negate a total lack of tone.
But I'm just too afraid that I'll be wrong.
Despite the fact you do sound like a drowning cat, there's something about this line that makes him feel a little something more than just bemusement. Previous uncomfortable thoughts of you with someone else echo in his mind.
He can't work out if there are signals that he's missing. Knows you've been working on your fears together, and quite successfully at that, but wonders which new ones could have evolved since you first wrote out the birds.
Neither of you are the people you were back then. Jeongguk thinks you're both better for it - but you're not perfect. Not by a country mile.
But perfection is for Hollywood stars, not the actual, living, breathing manifestation of the cosmic entities. It's your flaws that make you shine, and so maybe small fears are okay. If you've got someone to hold your hand throughout them all, then you'll never really need to be afraid again.
If you've done one thing right in your lifetime, it's befriending Jeongguk.
He's brought a richness to your life that you don't think you've ever known before. A year on since your first introduction, and it feels like this is exactly where you're supposed to be.
So you ignore the weightiness of your pre-chorus lyrics. Push the thoughts of Hayun out of your mind when you sing about another woman. She can only ruin your mood if you let her.
In the darkness of a room lit only by party lights, surrounded by friends, mediocre pop hits and the laughter of the ones you love, you never want to lose moments like these.
Finishing off on a particularly horrifying note, you and Danbi are the first to call bullshit when the noraebang system gives you a score of 63.
"Fuck you!" Danbi calls into the mic. "We were perfect!"
"You just don't know talent when you hear it," you second, middle finger pointed upwards, directed at the plastic box full of wires.
"Biased! Tone deaf!" Danbi insults the machine, just for good measure, then hands the mic over to whoever wants to go next, but warns. "It doesn't know what it's on about!"
Jimin hops up instantly. Tells the boys that they have to join. Refuses to tell them what they'll be singing - but makes sure they close their eyes until the instrumental starts.
There's laughter amongst the boys that just glows and illuminates the room. Opening their eyes, they instantly get themselves into a little formation, Jimin in the central role.
The look on his face is one of unbridled success. This is exactly what he was after.
Yourself, Danbi and Nabi watch on with great amusement as Shinhwa's Perfect Man begins to belt out of the speakers, and the boys start their rendition with fucking choreography. Practised shit. Learnt .
The three of you giggle at the sight in front of you, completely bemused.
Jimin is pitch-perfect taking the lead, and the rest of the boys share a mic between them, passing it around every now and again. You can tell it's not the first time they've ever done this, and truth be told, you'd like to know when the first time was - what on earth prompted them to learn a full routine?!
Cheering them on, you and the girls play the ultimate role of cheerleaders - and when Jimin strips off towards the end? Oh, you've never screamed louder for a man. There are smiles on the faces of quite literally every single person in the room.
Or at least there is, until the noraebang machine grades them, and you think Jimin might just throw it out of the window.
"SIXTY-TWO?!" He yells. "Sixt- oh, this is unbelievable! Sixty-fucking-two?!"
"Losers," Danbi teases the boys, who are finding the whole thing hilarious - but also begin to take offence, too.
"It's wrong!" Taehyung begins to insist, too. "We are perfect men."
How on earth they scored a point less than you will remain a mystery until your dying days, you're sure of it - but for now, it's fun to tease them.
As Jeongguk takes the seat beside you on the sofa, you get a little more comfortable. Bring your knees to your chest, and then lean into his relaxed recline. His breath is a little heavier thanks to his dancing, lungs heaving ever so slightly, skin warm.
You speak quietly to him beneath pandemonium unfurling.
"Since when are you a K-pop trainee?" you say with a teasing smile.
Jeongguk just nudges you away, then pulls you back, his drunk smile so pretty beneath purple lights currently dancing around the room. So pretty. So perfect. So deserving of a little kiss for a job well done.
"Eyes up here," he whispers, still grinning. "Why? Did you like it?"
"Fuck you," you reply to his first statement, and take one last glance at his dewy lips, which he licks, before toying with his lip ring in the way he does that always drives you a little bit insane.
"Now? B, our friends are here," he flirts quietly before you can answer his questions. There's a certain sin to the way he looks at you after a couple of drinks, and it always gets you thinking about the way he worships you like a saint beneath the sheets. Gets you a little desperate; needy for a touch you know you shouldn't love as much as you do. "A little decorum, please."
And so once more, you just say 'fuck you' with a giggle - but then you're letting out a small yelp as Jeongguk drags you to your feet, grabbing the mics from Jimin, who is still cursing out the machine.
Your friends cheer you on while you accept two shots of fuck-knows what from Taehyung, while Jeongguk loads up a song. He doesn't consult you first, and you don't care to be consulted, either way. You're so drunk that anything will do. So is he - but he picks this one deliberately: Replay by SHINee.
Picks it, 'cause every time he hears it, he thinks of you. Wants to sing it with you, 'cause he's too timid to sing it at you. This gives him a little plausible deniability. Smart, even when he's steaming, Jeongguk is pleased when he sees you smiling at the screen.
It's a break-up song, but that's not really why he chose it. Chose it 'cause he remembers the way you, Danbi and Hoseok fuckin' lit up one evening towards the start of your friendship with him when it came on in Dionysus.
Reminds him of how the lyrics bemoaned other guys looking at the singer's pretty Noona, and how he'd sung along quietly by the bar, glancing over to you discreetly - only to earn himself a whip from a tea towel thanks to Yeonjun.
See, Jeongguk has never been discreet a day in his life when it comes to you. Is realising this much later than he should have done - but is already fuckin' serenading you in front of all of your friends, as if he didn't realise they'd all totally know what he's doing.
You're completely unsurprised that Jeongguk somehow seems to know the dance to this one, too.
You do not, but you also don't need to because Jeongguk is playing the role of a devoted, love-drunk fool perfectly. Gestures towards you with every beat of the song.
The real pièce de résistance?
When Taehyung and Jimin join as fucking backup dancers to the bridge and final chorus.
At this point, you take a seat next to Danbi on the sofa, and the pair of you belt the lyrics into your shared mic, though half of the words are replaced with your drunk giggles instead. Holding out your hand, you beckon for Nabi to come and join you. She happily obliges you, and the three of you are the perfect recipients of the boys and their little performance.
Hoseok and Namjoon are half invested, half busy animatedly chatting about something else instead. You leave them be. Think they look quite cute.
The boys in front of you, however, are a picture-perfect idol group, even if they are rat-arsed, and a little rusty on the old dance moves. Somehow their coordination is spot on, and it just raises even more questions.
You're still laughing when the score comes through and the boys are too busy congratulating themselves on a job well-done to notice it either.
Still holding the mic, Jeongguk holds his hand out for you to join him again.
"Sorry," he laughs. "We'll do something properly this time - your choice."
And even though it is your choice, you pick something that you know will be right up his alley. Wanna do something he likes, because seeing him with a smile on his face is maybe your favourite thing in the world.
"Oh, banger," he beams as the song loads up, and you're pleased to have chosen well.
"Young Money," you start, then replace Justin's name with that of your best friend and gesture towards him. "Jungkooooook!"
He takes the role of Justin Bieber so seriously that you can't help but laugh. Smoulders .
"Show you off," he gestures towards you as the song begins. "Tonight I wanna show you off."
The pair of you dance around, both singing, not really caring for the lines you're supposed to take. Really do party like it's 3012 tonight.
Moments like these - trapped between the unadulterated joy of what it's like to be young, and the heavy understanding that the people around you will be with you until you're old - are what life is for. You've sung in countless noraebangs, and consumed even more countless drinks - but this? Here? Right now? Tonight?
This is one night you'll remember for the rest of your life. Perhaps not the specifics, and perhaps the alcohol will ravage your memories, but in 5, 10, 20 years, you'll feel just as fond about this evening as you feel about it right now.
Not just for Jeongguk, but for all of your friends. For the unwavering amusement that comes with being in a group that just gets each other, despite any differences. There's a safety and serenity here that is rare to come by. You're lucky.
And yet all of these complex and heavy emotions fizzle away to simple joy.
Jeongguk's hand snakes around your waist at some point or another, and you know you're dancing a little too closely in front of everyone else.
Not a single person cares. They just cheer you on. Will be dancing in just the same ways when it's their turn.
The fact that you took the role of Selena in your earlier duet with Danbi isn't lost on anyone, as Jeongguk gestures towards you when you sing, "Gotta keep an eye out for Selena."
The whole thing is ridiculous. The song, the way you and Jeongguk are so into it, the way you're acting if a little bit of free space in the sitting room is a stage in front of thousands.
Arm around your waist, Jeongguk pulls you a little closer as you finish Nicki's verse. Your arm slinks around his neck - and your friends go absolutely feral . Sharing just one mic, eyes on one another, there's no denying that your bodies are well-acquainted. It's in the way they move together so effortlessly, his hips a little too telling as they roll to beat of the song.
Body rock; I wanna see your body rock.
Oh, it's dastardly. Sinful. Who do you think you're fooling?!
'Cause all I need is a beauty and a beat, who can make my life complete.
A beauty and a beat? Yeah. When he looks at you, Jeongguk knows in this moment he's got both .
The way friends cheer you on would suggest they're very much aware of the fact Jeongguk has, by all metrics, seen your body rock. Neither of you care for subtleties. You're drunk, and it's your nearest and dearest around you. Who gives a fuck?
The way he belts the final chorus - it's aaaall 'bout yooouu - just solidifies the fact he's wasted behind a bar. Should be on stages, in some capacity. Calls you a star, but fuckin' hell - he's the real one.
Earning a much more respectable score - 83 - you and Jeongguk are given a standing ovation as you laugh all the way back to your previous seats.
Bundled up next to Jeongguk on the sofa, Danbi is on your other side.
Taehyung takes centre stage. Does that weird little dance again. Starts a song that nobody recognises at first, until the chorus kicks in - " Because you're gorgeous, I'd do anything for you" - and he turns to dramatically serenade Danbi à la Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You. Different song, granted, but same exact vibe.
A one-man show, Taehyung is every bit the charismatic casanova. Even gets to his knees in despair, just so that Danbi knows how tragically gorgeous she is.
And yet despite the showmanship, it's Jeongguk humming along quietly to the song that has you feeling all sorted of fucked up. The way he nudges against you so subtly that nobody in the darkened room notices? The way he sings softly beneath his breath, right into your ear? The kiss against your hair that is fleeting everyone will miss it?
Oh, it's torture .
When Namjoon and Hoseok take the mics and do their best rendition of Epik High's Born Hater, everyone loses their shit. Taehyung is the best hype man you think you've ever seen - part of you thinks he might actually steal the mic at one point. Thankfully, he grabs an empty soju bottle and uses that instead.
They're the first - and only - 100-point score of the evening. You're pretty sure Seoyeon and Yoongi's early night will have been disturbed by the shriek of congratulations from you all upon the big shiny score on the screen. All far too drunk to really care for volume control, the party is far from over.
In fact, it's only just getting started. For all the talk of your house being the people who would be partying the hardest, you think it's pretty evenly split.
Danbi and Taehyung are, predictably, disgustingly cute together - but you know your best friend. A few drinks in her and she'll become trouble.
You're proven right when you're all sitting on the floor, taking a break from the home-noraebang session.
Still drinking, talking about nonsense, Taehyung is twiddling with his empty soju bottle turned noraebang mic on the carpet. He's spinning it without much thought, never really letting it stop - but when it does?
Yeah, Danbi is in one of those moods.
"On Jimin?" Danbi exclaims with a gasp, casting her eyes down to the bottle as it comes to a stop, the cap-end facing a very confused Jimin.
Taehyung looks just as confused for a second. Follows her gaze - and then realises what she's insinuating. "Oh, God. No. Absolutely not!"
He's not about to play spin the fucking bottle - especially not with his friends when his girlfriend is right beside him.
Jimin immediately takes offence, much in the same way he did when Jeongguk refused to fuck him. If even his friends won't get with him, what chance does he have?
"What's wrong with me?! Why wouldn't you?" He wails, flopping down to the floor from his seated position. "First Gguk, now you?"
"I'm not kissing you."
"Why not?" He whines. Doesn't really want to kiss Taehyung, but is offended that Taehyung doesn't want to kiss him. Rude.
"Because!" Taehyung says, hoping that it's reason enough.
For Jimin, it absolutely is not reason enough.
"This is so mean. I'd kiss you if the bottle told me to," he assures his friend.
Danbi, in classic, troublesome, Danbi style eggs it on. Says to Taheyung, "I'd kiss DB."
"Okay firstly," you laugh, looking at her with shock. "Since when the fuck have you ever called me DB ?!"
"It's just your name, now," Jimin interrupts. "Accept it."
"No," you don't bother humouring him, but are still finding the whole thing incredibly funny. "And secondly, we've already kissed a bunch of times, so it doesn't matter."
Jeongguk and Taehyung both chirp in surprise at this. Look at their respective girlies with little confusion, and are both met with a collective, "What?"
"I mean, do guys not kiss their besties?" Nabi interjects from across the circle, which also makes Jeongguk whip his head up towards her. You know the confusion directed at you is now directed towards her, and her bestie.
And it pisses you off - because you're drunk, and thoughts are irrational, and even though Jeongguk is well within his right to maybe be surprised, you think he's stupid for caring about where Hayun's mouth has been.
He doesn't care. Not like that. You know this.
Know that any embers that had still been burning for her when you first met him have well and truly been put out.
You're the one who cares. You're the one who is being stupid.
But isn't everyone a little irrational when they've had a few too many?
Reaching over to the bottle, you turn to look at him, and just say, "It's like, so normal; kissing your friends."
It's not like you ever kiss Danbi when you're sober. Only ever when you're drunk, and not really ever with much thought behind it.
Granted, you haven't done it in years. Was more of a thing you'd do during your reckless uni years.
Once you met Seokjin, your behaviour on nights out changed quite significantly. Matured. And after him? Well, people would be lucky to get a kiss from you, full-stop.
Your words are layered, though. It's so normal, kissing your friends.
He says nothing. Keeps his mouth shut. Tense. Looks at you as you turn away, and refuses to look elsewhere. Knows exactly what you meant.
What we do? It's normal. Nothing special. Don't get it twisted.
Spinning the bottle on the carpet, you're the one asking for trouble, now. Are committed to the bit. Want the thoughts of you kissing someone else in his head, purely cause you don't want the thoughts of Hayun in there instead.
It's a strange sensation that sears through your veins. One that you don't often feel; one that you hate. Makes you feel all green. Bitter.
You don't let it show. Instead, as the bottle slows to a stop, you're a bit giggly. It's the alcohol influencing your behaviour; thoughts not as clear as they usually are. Your intentions differ from the oncoming outcome. The dots of any hurt that could be caused don't join with the dots of your pre-existing sour emotions. The lines are wibbly wobbly.
Jeongguk knows that drinking is a big factor in your boldness, now. Also knows you've got total free will. You can do what you like. He won't stop you.
If anything, he should be proud of this. Of your willingness. Of the fact you'll kiss someone without a care in the world.
Yes, it's different to kissing someone in bed, but it's still a kiss. Still something he thinks you wouldn't have done this time last year. It's progress, albeit at the expense of the progression of whatever the fuck your relationship is these days.
He watches on with a stern gaze as the bottle finishes its final spin.
Directly across from you, it points to Nabi.
Poetic, almost, how you were concerned about Jeongguk's thoughts of Hayun kissing her.
She tilts her head a little, as if to ask, "Shall we?"
You repeat her motion, and remind the boys, "It's really not a big deal."
Jeongguk bites back a remark he could make about you, and kissing, and it being the biggest fuckin' deal he's ever known.
Yet he's silent as the rest of the group egg you and Nabi on. It's juvenile, how neither of you properly stand to cross the circle, but instead both lean forward, supporting yourselves with your hands and knees until you reach the centre.
He's thankful for one thing only, and it's the fact you're wearing a teeny tiny pair of shorts beneath your dress. Would have been catastrophic otherwise. Already kinda is.
There's a subtle curve to your spine. One that Jeongguk knows well. Doesn't notice if Nabi has a similar feline posture, for he's only focused on you.
And even as you and Nabi get far closer than you've ever been before, giggling like a pair of kids getting up to no good, it's the loose grip that Jeongguk has on your ankle that really has your attention.
It's a warning.
Have your fun, his touch tells you. But not too much fun.
You could pull your leg further forward. Could rid it of his grip.
But you don't. You stay shackled to him like a prisoner of crimes you're yet to commit.
There's no build-up, nor anticipation of the meeting of your lips with Nabi's. No trepidation. No nerves.
Admittedly, there's a slight hesitation. A couple of giggles. A little excitement, sure. She's gorgeous after all - the kind of girl anyone would be lucky to kiss. You've thought from the get-go that she's attractive, but have also never spent time with her when Jeongguk wasn't there, too.
No matter how pretty a face is, his will always be your favourite.
Even as she presses down into the kiss, lips gentle and plump, quite unlike Jeongguk's, it's the soft stroke of his thumb over your ankle that cracks through you like a volt of electricity.
Over as quickly as it started, you and Nabi both come away from the kiss with smiles, and coy looks upon your faces.
"See," you tell Taehyung, who is staring in disbelief, as you come to sit back beside Jeongguk. Are sad to lose his touch, but daren't look at him, because you don't want to know how he's feeling. What you just did was selfish, and you know it. "It's not a big deal."
Danbi nods. Takes the reins of the conversation. Agrees with you, but also caught the look on Jeongguk's face as it happened, and realises that maybe she should be careful about what she wishes for.
Decides that Spin the Bottle should remain a relic of cursed high school parties. Has no space at an event like this. Instead, she reaches for the deck of cards on the side table and gets to arranging them in a circle. Bottle still in the middle, she swaps it out for an empty glass.
Jeongguk gets to his feet. Is only going to grab another drink, but doesn't voice it to you. Doesn't voice it to anyone.
Danbi glances over to you - and unlike Jeongguk, she is good at being discreet. Tilts her sharply, subtly. Silently says, " Go ."
You relent for a moment, 'cause you know you're in trouble - but also know that's exactly why you need to follow him.
The lights are out in the kitchen, illuminated only by the lamps pouring in through the arch from the living room. The fridge is open, and Jeongguk is hidden by the door that he opens as soon as he notices you entering the room.
Really did just come for a drink, but also doesn't really wanna talk to you right now. Doesn't really understand the way he's feeling. It's not jealousy. That's one feeling he thinks he's got a good grasp on. It's something, though. Not nothing.
Coming to stand in the corner of the counters, you're also obscured from anyone entering the room. The fridge door acts as a shield.
And so Jeongguk closes it.
Turns to face you, but doesn't walk towards you. Is silent.
The shrouded darkness of the corner you've backed yourself into hides the way your heart is beating a mile a minute. The shadows obscure the look on Jeongguks face but you know him well enough now to know that his jaw is tense.
Shoulder silhouetted, you can see they are, too. Scatches as he finally asks, "Did you have your fun?"
You're silent.
He looks as if he's about to say something, and then just sighs.
Placing the bottle in his hand down on the counter, and there's a clatter that you assume is a bottle opener going with it. His sighs. Relaxes his shoulders.
Shakes his head. Considers for a second, then husks, "Fuck it."
The gap between you both is closed by Jeongguk, his hand cupping your jaw as he presses his liquor-laced lips down into yours. Has your body pressed close to his, then deepens the closeness and he does the same with the kiss. Pulls away, but only briefly. Only to give you a chance to stop it.
But you just pull him back. Needily get his lips on yours. Mirror his body language. Are desperate to feel his desire; begging for him to want you as much as your drunk mind wants him .
His kisses are rough. Aggressive. Assertive.
Until all very suddenly, they soften. The exhale of breath from his nose is warm on your cheek, both of you unable to properly regulate the oxygen you need. The issues had been fast and fleeting, but they'd been a force to be reckoned with. He rarely kisses you like that; without sweetness, or reservation.
He'd kissed you with purpose, and you damn well know it.
Is still holding your jaw as he leans his forehead against yours, noses nudging ever so gently.
"You gotta stop kissing my fuckin' friends, B," he says. " Our friends. You gotta stop."
It's not like you make a habit of it. You've kissed Jimin, like, once - but you know exactly what he means. Say nothing. Just nod. Let him kiss you again. Tenderly, now.
He's slow as he withdraws. Keeps you trapped between his body and the cabinets as he reaches behind you for an empty glass. Remains in position as he twists his upper body to swing the fridge door open, and grabs the filtered water jug.
The light around him from the fridge casts a halo, befitting of a man such as him. Heaven-sent, is Jeon Jeongguk, and you've been blessed to have known him during your time on this earth. You might not get so lucky in your next life. Need to stop taking it for granted.
It's funny, 'cause he's thinking the exact same thing about you.
The refrigerator light gets you sparkling. Puts all those stars back in your eyes. Ones he needs to stop stealing, 'cause you deserve to be as shiny as you possibly can be.
He comes around you like a magpie, and takes your shine, he thinks.
Doesn't realise you've been glowing ever since you met him because of him.
You were dull, before. The glitter was only ever a facade.
Yet it's permanent now - or a least it will be, until your star lover decides chasing a shooting star is a losing game.
"Here," he says as he passes you the water. "You're fucked."
You take a sip, then pass it back and say, "Here. You're fucked."
This does at least make him smile. Alleviates some of the discomfort that had temporarily brewed between you both. He nods. "Yeah. I am."
Pulling himself away, he holds his hand behind himself for you to take. Doesn't wanna fight with you. Just wants you two to be good. Doesn't care for dumb, petty fights. Knows that deep down, you don't either.
"C'mon," he hums quietly, as your fingers lace between his. "Let's go back."
He deliberately leaves the drink he was getting behind on the counter. Has had enough tonight. Doesn't tell you as such, but is pleased that you seem content sipping your water instead of reaching for more drinks during the next game. Just giggle along with whatever is happening, the mood between you both far easier than it had been a few moments previously.
Communication, it would seem, is key. Jeongguk appreciates the fact that you sought him out, even if you didn't really say anything. Knows that it was a way for you to let your defences down, something of which he isn't sure you'd have done a few months ago.
Then again, he's also not sure he'd have felt so irrationally jealous a few months ago, either.
But you're learning. Both of you are. Rome wasn't built in a day, and Jeongguk's just glad you're getting your hands dirty with the rubble and bricks of your relationship traumas, too. Are rebuilding yourself, and in turn, something new. Somewhere he thinks could make for a lovely home, one day.
One by one, back in the living room, yawns spread contagiously. It's Hoseok first, then Namjoon. Across the circle, Jeongguk follows suit. When you begin to yawn, he strokes your back.
"Bed?" he asks quietly, to which you nod.
He nods back. "I'll go get some water to take back to the house. Want any snacks?"
You shake your head, unable to verbalise a response thanks to the yawn taking hold of you. Dawn will be breaking soon, you're sure. Yoongi and Seoyeon went to bed hours ago. All you need is a really good sleep.
As the four of you meander back up to your house, Nabi and Jimin nattering, while Jeongguk hangs back a little bit, you find yourself distracted.
Arms crossed, all you can think about is Jeongguk, and his lips on yours in the kitchen, and how unbelievably reckless it was. Anyone could have walked in.
But perhaps that would have been okay.
Turning to check he's still walking towards the house, a smile settles on your face where a frown once was. Phone held up to the sky, Jeongguk is taking pictures of the moon. Zooming in as far as he can, and getting frustrated every time his still-drunk hands wobble a little too much.
"Tomorrow," you call over softly - and like a dog hearing a whistle, he doesn't hesitate to walk your way. "We can go star-gazing. Get pictures."
He nods. Comes to stand by you. Carries on walking, taking your hand as he does so. Sounds sleepy as he mumbles, "M'kay."
By the time you arrive back at the house a few minutes later, Jimin and Nabi are still nattering in the communal area. With your rooms being on different floors, and both of you desperately fighting alcohol-induced yawns, neither you nor Jeongguk can be bothered with the hassle of sharing a bed tonight.
You retire to separate rooms, and both hate it.
There's an emptiness, you think. One that only he can fill. The room is dark, but a little light sneaks in from the harbour, and the lamps that remain lit all night to keep boats away.
Catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, it's your glitter that acts like harbour lights, you think. A warning to never get too close.
Jeongguk did it anyway.
Thoughts like these plague your mind as you toss and turn, failing to get comfy. There are enough pillows. The duvet is perfectly nice. The mattress is fine. There's just something missing.
Someone .
But fuck- you don't need him. Depending on a man is something you never want to do, especially not for something as simple as falling asleep.
Even though you're trying to rid your brain of his presence, you find yourself thanking him as you hop out of bed and head to your suitcase. If there's one thing that will exhaust you, it's a good orgasm.
Given how sleepy his eyes were prior to you saying your farewells, all puffy and a little bloodshot, you don't imagine he'll hear a peep - and if he does, it'll likely just become a strange addition to whatever bizarre dream he'll no doubt tell you he had in the morning.
Rummaging around a little, you look for that one final thing he ensured you added to the suitcase. Find some lingerie first that you definitely didn't add to the pile - the same ones you packed for Busan just to get a rise out of him - and scoff. Presumptuous mother fucker .
Eventually, you find your rabbit. A dildo-vibrator hybrid, it works wonders. The translucent black silicone is always a little cold to touch - never like the real thing - but it fills a hole, for lack of a better term. Does the job. Does things a cock can't do - but it can never make you feel like he does.
The house is quiet, now. Nabi and Jimin retired to their own beds a good quarter of an hour ago. You know that Jimin will be out like a light, and Nabi is the furthest room from yours. The only worry you have is Jeongguk beneath you - but so what? Nothing he hasn't heard before.
Still, you only dare turn the vibrator on to the lowest mode.
Wearing just your panties, Jeongguk's shirt that you'd stolen now discarded on the floor, you run the toy over your clothed cunt. Let the sensation overcome any other physical manifestation of your feelings.
It hums ever so quietly, a hushed moan trapped in your throat as you work your hips up into the vibration. Other-wordly in how it makes you feel, there's no point trying to keep dignified.
Ridding yourself of your panties, you lie on your back, legs spread. Tease your entrance with the head of the cock-shaped dildo. Sharply inhale as you press against your hole - but you're not ready, yet.
The feeling isn't enough.
You need thoughts too.
Thoughts of him. Of his body. Of the way he smiles whenever he sees you like this. How he'd tower over you. Line himself up. Press kisses to your lips. Down your throat. On your chest. How he'd take your nipples in his mouth, and suck them for hours if he could. How he'd tell you he's still an ass guy, even if sucking on your tits gets him so hard he could cum in 5 seconds flat whenever he does it.
Your dildo now sinks into your cunt with little resistance, the thoughts of Jeongguk seemingly enough to get you ready.
There's a slight burn. Friction. Evidence that you're not totally there yet. The alcohol has definitely affected it. Funny, how it never affects it when you're with Jeongguk. Have fucked him countless times after a few drinks with no issues.
No reason to have them now. The only difference is him.
It frustrates you.
You don't need a man. You don't .
Groaning, you rid yourself of your toy. Flick the switch to make sure it's off. Toss it down beside you and let it land with a thud on the mattress. Stare up at the ceiling and curse.
Reaching over for your phone, you're about to google methods of getting to sleep when you're both horny and unable to get yourself off, when a message pings through.
You wince before you even read it - and when you do read it? Well, you think you'd quite like to simply die.
JK: Round two?
Admittedly, it's better receiving it from him than it would from Jimin - but it's still mortifying to know that he could hear it.
You must still be drunk. It's the only thing that justifies such reckless abandon for your grace.
And it's also the excuse you'll use for the fact you send him back a message that simply says: My door is open.
Not even a minute later, Jeongguk says nothing as he enters your room. He's in his underwear and a shirt, but as soon as he shuts the door, he grabs the material by the nape of his neck, and rids himself of it. Is just in his Calvins, now. Just how you like him.
It's not like you greet him either, a blanket pulled up to cover your dignity, but you're both aware there's a heaviness to the air between you. Something unspoken. Something that will remain unsaid, because you're both scared to lose the weight of your own feelings.
Instead, he just grips the back of the chair by the vanity unit and turns it around. Sits. Is arrogant in how he looks at you, just like he was that night you got far too acquainted with his pull-up bar and favourite tie.
In his hand is something you can't quite make out.
Something about his gaze, and how it holds your own, makes it hard for you to speak. You fear you'll say the wrong thing. Fear he'll look away. Turns out, just as he suspects, you do have new fears - and they all pertain to him, or moreso a lack of him.
You play it safe. Nod towards his hand. Whisper, "Watcha got?"
"You said we shouldn't fuck," he reminds you with an arrogant smirk. Knows that this will drive you fuckin' insane. "Thought I should come prepared."
It's only when he holds it up that you realise he's holding a fucking fleshlight . Clear. Silicone.
"Holy shit," you breathe out. Have never actually seen one in the flesh - no pun intended - let alone see a man bold enough to use one in front of you.
"Remember how we used to watch each other get off?" he asks, unashamed - or just drunk. Doesn't wait for a reply. Just says, "Let's do that."
The way he's so convicted in his wants and desires - how he knows the parameters of your arrangement, yet bends the rules to fit his fucking whims - will never fail to amaze you. He's determined to get you coming undone, and that in and of itself is so unbelievably hot.
His body is hard to make out from the low lighting, but the ridges of his toned chest have you salivating. There's a sheen to his fingers - lube, you assume for the toy - and it spreads over his abdomen as he softly traces his fingertips over his body. Lightly touches himself. His small, hard nipples. Rasps a little.
Arousal, for him, isn't just simply his cock getting hard. He likes to engage his senses. S'why he likes fucking you so much. You're a treat for all five of 'em.
You're too far away to touch. To taste. To smell - and oh god, that's the one that gets him the most. Just wants to bury the tip of his prettily pointed nose in your hair, down the valley of your breasts, in your cunt. Pheremones are a wonderful thing, and the effect they have on Jeongguk can only be likened to a Class A substance. Pupils dilated, body and mind disconnected, he needs the high you give.
For now, he settles on sight and sound. Smirks when you gasp at the sight of what he's doing.
Eyes fixated on him, you watch on as Jeongguk grips the fleshlight and pushes it down ever so gently. He barely penetrates it. Just the tip. Grunts a little. Pulls it back up, so that the crown of his cock is kissing the entrance.
God, how you wish it was you. Want to feel that first intrusion of his cock inside you. How big he is; how well he always stretches you out. So intensely focused on him, you don't even really realise how you're toying with your chest.
Despite the shrouded darkness of the room, enough light is funnelling in through the curtains for you to clearly see his movements; his expressions.
Jaw slack, Jeongguk doesn't give a fuck about looking dignified. He knows there's no point. Doesn't want to pretend like you don't arouse him beyond the point of sane thoughts.
He thinks the same could be said for you.
"C'mon, B," he begs quietly. "Get yourself off for me."
His breathy moan as he pushes further into the toy only encourages you to do the same. Matching his desperately soft moans, you sink your rabbit inside yourself, and find any earlier resistance is gone. You don't need a man, but fuck . Jeon Jeongguk is an exception to the rule.
Filling yourself, it's nothing like the sensation that comes with Jeongguk - the warmth of his skin, the scent of his aftershave, the weight of his body on top of yours - but it is unlike anything else you've ever known as he looks across to you.
There's a smirk breaking on his lustful expression, sinful satisfaction that has you moaning as you penetrate yourself with the toy that he insisted you bring. Not much introspection is given to how you're pleasuring yourself; too focused on the way he's pleasuring himself.
Knees closing together, toes digging into the sheets, your hand is trapped between your thighs. It's a more natural state of being, you find. Gets your walls a little tighter. Feels better, even if it doesn't look as good. Whining a little as you build a pace, you're so wet that you can hear the way you're fucking yourself - and so can Jeongguk.
The lewd sounds of his cock fucking into the toy he's using slow a little. His laboured breaths become controlled. He's easing off the gas - not hitting the break, but definitely doing something.
"Since when have you been shy?" He teases you a little breathlessly. Holds the fleshlight to the base of his cock. Fills it. Keeps himself warm, laboured grunts catching in his throat as he stops himself from reaching the point of release. "Wider, baby," he pleads. "Nice and wide for me."
Pulling your knees apart, you display yourself like a fuckin' exhibition, and Jeongguk knows that you've art for him, indefinitely. Nights at galleries are pale in comparison to the way you put yourself on display for him.
How could he ever appreciate a painting unless it's the same pretty colours of your needy cunt? If the brush strokes don't match the hair that falls over your eyes as your lips part, soft moans escaping them? Music, too, for that matter is ruined for him. You sound better than anything he's ever heard on the radio.
"There you go," he husks as he begins to work the fleshlight up his shaft again. Watches you with no intent of ever looking away. He's fixed to you like glue. "That's it. Fuck. Yeah. That's it."
But you won't be content until he really is stuck to you like glue. Want him so close it's impossible to tell when he ends and you begin; impossible to comprehend how you ever could part.
He's not the only one with demands. Desires. You want him just as much as he wants you.
"Come closer," you say quietly.
"Yeah?" he teases. "Say please, baby."
"Fuck you."
He laughs, now. Finds something about your insatiable need to have him near, and your inability to play nicely at times, just so endearing.
"Cute," he smirks. Knows it'll probably irritate you. Patronises a little more, 'cause he's vying for you to have a reason to shut him up. Thinks maybe you'll choose kisses as a way to shush him. Hopes you will. "Needy, aren't you? Pretty, needy baby."
"Shut up," you laugh, the smile on your lips a product of his compliments, even if he is being a little bitch. Holding your hand out, you encourage him to join you on the bed. Give him what he wants, 'cause you know it'll give you what you want. " Please ."
You don't take your eyes off him as he stands, cock still snug in the toy that he'd really rather swap with your hands. Makes him a little shy.
"Stop looking at me, perv," Jeongguk says in a childish way that really doesn't fit the profile of a man like him - built like a god - as he's pleasuring himself for you for your satisfaction.
"Why?" you ask, pleased and purry now that the ball is in your court. "A little shy, there?"
"Fuck you," he smirks, coming to sit between your legs.
Your illicit thoughts of Jeongguk are always so much tamer than he actually is. You never know what's actually gonna come out of his mouth, and it makes fucking him so much more fun to indulge in.
It's not like he means to be vulgar. His brain is just too distracted by how fucking good this shit feels. His lips get loose and so does the concept of dignity. Has him mumbling all kinds of shit.
"God, I'll fuckin' die if you don't let me fuck you," he whines, one of his hands stroking up your thigh while the other wanks the toy up and down his thick cock. He's slow in his movements, wrist flicking gently, not wanting to himself up too much. Wants you to get there first.
Shaking your head, you knead one of your tits for his viewing pleasure as you continue to fuck yourself with the toy he insisted you bring.
"Told me to bring this for a reason, Gguk," you remind him. "No fucking."
"But you're so fucking wet," he moans. Wants to touch you. Know he can't.
You nod - then decide to cut him a little slack. Reach for the hand of his on your thigh. Bring it to the base of the rabbit, and let him take the reins.
"Fuck," he curses, as he pushes it up into you. Holds it in place. Flicks the switch that makes the little rabbit ears vibrate. Angles it just right so that they're fluttering against your swollen clit, the pleasure incomparable to anything else.
"Oh, shit," you whine as your body begins to writhe.
"You like this so much, don't you?" He confirms, and is pleased when you whine and nod your head. He pulls the toy back slightly, but angles it so that ears stay pressed against you before he fills you again. The lewd sound of it filling you is enough to drive anyone insane, he thinks.
"Pretty cunt," he says fondly, then leans forward a little. Gathers spit in his mouth, then slowly lets it drip onto your pussy. He knows you well. Has it landing just north of your clit. Grinds the ears up a little, and spreads it across your already messy pussy. "Pretty girl."
Gently fucking the dildo into you, Jeongguk can't help but feel a little jealous. He wants to know how you feel. How warm you are. How tight you'll get when you cum.
Instead, all he can do is watch as pleasure takes hold. You whine his name - "Yeah, baby?" - and push your head back into the pillows. Toes pointing, your legs begin to shake, and Jeongguk knows better than to change anything about what he's doing. Keeps the speed. Lets the ears flick against the clit that he so badly wants in his mouth.
"That's it," he keens. "All over this cock. Cum all over it."
Oh, how you wish it was his instead.
Because even though you do come, it doesn't satisfy you fully. Not how his cock does. Still amazing - but Jeongguk has ruined you. Is the only thing capable of making you cum how you deserve to cum. His cock, his mouth, his hands - doesn't matter what. Just matters that it's him.
Tapping his wrist as you shake a little, you tell him you're good. In all honesty, all you want now is to make him feel good.
Shutting off the vibrations, Jeongguk keeps you plugged. Is scared that you'll both let your stupid desires get the better of you, otherwise.
You're thinking the exact same thing - so reach down for his fleshlight. Want him to feel as good as you he made you feel.
Holding it flush against the mound of your pussy, you'll give him the next best thing to fucking you. A little simulation, almost. Basically the exact same.
Except it's not, 'cause Jeongguk is far too aware of the fact that he doesn't get the luxury of your cunt.
"Fuck it," you instruct him. "Fuck it like you fuck me."
There's something erotic about the way Jeongguk lines himself up with it at your request. Zero hesitation. Wanks himself, once, twice. Presses his tip against the tight entrance, and looks at you as he pushes into it. Grunts. Fills it. Begins to thrust a little. Picks a rhythm. Finds the position is perfect for letting his balls slap against your swollen clit, and is obsessed with the way you whine for him.
With you holding his toy in place, his hands are free - so they snake around your thighs and pull you closer with every thrust of his hips, as if he really is fucking you.
"Is it good?"
"Yeah. It's fuckin' good," he nods, leaning forward, resting an elbow on either side of your head as he continues to pump into the toy. "You're better, but it's good."
There's a simplicity to the way Jeongguk describes how he feels. It's straightforward. Honest.
"Pretend it's me," you encourage. "Is it tight? Wet?"
He nods. Practically filled the thing with lube before he ventured up to your room.
"Real fuckin' tight. You're wetter, though. I miss that. Fuck . Just once, baby. Once ," he begs, forgetting the fact that he very much knows fucking you is a bad idea. Presses wet, insatiable kisses to the underside of your jaw. Can barely string his words together. "Let me - fuck - feel you. Please ."
Funny, how his fear of rejection doesn't seem to exist when he's a few strokes away from an orgasm.
Or maybe it just doesn't exist around you. Either or. At the moment, they're one and the same.
Shaking your head, you pull him in for a soft meeting of your lips, his tongue sinking into your mouth, because he needs to be inside you in at least some capacity if he can't have your pussy. Hips thrashing in a bid to chase his high, Jeongguk knows you're not gonna give him what he wants. Knows that this is the closest he'll get.
Plausible deniability when your friends - or moreso just Jimin - ask, did you fuck?
Well, no, you'll be able to say, without lying. We didn't.
But as your body is moved in tandem with the timing of his thrusts, Jeongguk's grunts vibrate into your mouth as his body begins to tense, you know that you can't really describe this as anything other than fucking.
"Cum," you tell him - and then realise you still want it to be you he cums over. Cums for. Cums because of.
But Jeongguk takes that permission and runs with it before you can make any further bad decisions. Whimpers as he lets the walls that have been keeping him restrained come crashing down. His teeth find your neck as he grunts against your skin; his breath hot, the cum he's unloading in the silicone fuck toy even more so.
"That's it," you encourage, legs wrapping around his stuttering hips. "Fill that cunt for me, baby. Fill it up like it's mine."
He nods, his laboured breaths lost in your hair as he buries his head into the crook of your neck, as the final few spurts of his desire pump into the toy. The weight of his body is heavy on top of you, rising and falling with every contraction of his lungs.
Stroking his hair, you press a kiss to the top of his hair, and let out a soft giggle. It's too soon for post-nut clarity, and yet Jeongguk already doesn't wanna look you in the eyes after nutting in a fucking fleshlight.
Figuring as much, you make sure to praise him in the same way he usually does for you. "So hot, Gguk. So good. So cute ."
He smiles, now. Laughs a little, body spent. Grumbles into your neck. "Fuck off, B."
"What?" you tease, knowing that he's embarrassed. He needn't be. It's just a sex toy. He's the one who brought it along with him - surely he didn't think you'd have enough willpower to resist him over the weekend? Surely he had been anticipating this? "It's yours . We both know you've fucked it, like, a hundred times."
"Fuck offffff," he moans again, rolling off of you, the fleshlight slipping somewhere between you both now that no one is keeping it held in place. "That never happened."
Turning onto your front, you scoff. Reach down the bed to find the offending object. You want it for a reason - mainly 'cause you've never seen them up close, and are curious about how much it actually looks like a pussy, but also 'cause you have an idea that will make Jeongguk equal parts needy and disgusted, which honestly is what you're aiming for. You like it when he's conflicted over his desire. Makes his self-denial and subsequent weaknesses so much hotter.
"Put it down," he whines, as you bring it to the pillows. His forearm is covering his eyes, a pretty smile on his darling lips, piercing catching in the jetty lights that are intruding on your privacy.
You don't do what he tells you to do. Instead, you rest on your elbows, tits cushioning your body as you inspect it a little.
"Huh," you hum in surprise. Admittedly, it's not too far off. The silicone tube is clear, with ridges and grooves in the central canal for his pleasure, but the entrance is particularly inspired. Despite the clarity of the material, the shape isn't too far off from your own, especially when it's all pretty and puffy and aroused for him. There's a sheen to it; evidence of Jeongguk's lube, as a trail of his white cum leaks from the entrance.
Glancing over to him, you find his eyes on you. A little further up in the bed, he's looking down, and yet you're in the position of power. Whatever you do will only serve to make him want you more.
He doesn't tell you to put it down again. Just waits, breathlessly, to see what you'll do. Already has an idea. Knows what he wants to see, but won't ask for it 'cause it feels almost too vulgar.
But you know him well. Knows what gets him off. Know that even despite the fact he's just finished, there are ways to get him hard again - and as your tongue slowly flicks against the desecrated entrance, you know that this is one of them.
"Fuck," he husks quietly, not even meaning to do so. Lets one of his hands reach over to squeeze at the flesh of your ass as you get a little deeper with your exploration. Lick into it. Collect his cum on your tongue.
It's been a while since you've eaten pussy, too busy with Jeongguk to seek anyone else out, but it's like riding a bike. You never forget - and truth be told, you're not really doing anything that requires too much thought. You're putting on a show. Eating his cum, 'cause he deserves it.
His grip on your ass is hard, as he grunts, "You're fucking filth, b. So dirty ."
You giggle, pleased with the effect it's having on him - but then he's pulling you across to straddle his lap, toy discarded on your side of the bed as man handles you into position on top of his body.
Jeongguk pulls you in for a meeting of lips, teeth, tongue; all-consuming. Doesn't care to be neat. Doesn't care to be sweet. Wants to taste himself on your tongue - and when he does? Oh, he's celestial .
He moans. Curses. Accepts it when you hold his jaw, and encourage him to open his mouth. Nods as your lips purse. Lets his tongue flatten. Whines as you spit his cum onto his tongue - then decides you've had enough time in the driver's seat. Sinks his tongue back into your mouth; swaps his cum with you until it sort of just becomes obsolete.
He's not gonna fuck you, but he does get you positioned on top of his cock, pussy spread over his thick length as he ruts up against you. One hand on your hips, the other clasps your hands behind your back. Looks you dead in the eye as you whine for him.
Husks, "You're only in control when I let you be in control."
And then to prove his point, he gets you grinding against him until the point of another climax. Gets your body shaking as your pussy rubs over the top of his cock, without it ever penetrating you. The sensation is euphoric; skin on skin, just how you like it.
"That's it," he praises as your orgasm washes over you. Holds you as you come down a little breathlessly. Teases. "So cute. You love to cum for me, don't you, B?"
It's your turn to tell him to fuck off, now.
Rolling off him, both toys fall from your side of the bed and onto the floor with a soft thud. Neither of you cares for the noise. Jimin is out like a light, and Nabi is too far away to have really heard anything.
Breathlessly, you both look up at the ceiling. Jeongguk swears he can see stars - but it might just be the hangover that's already kicking in.
As he holds his hand out, you laugh. Give him a high five. "Nice work."
But you both agree that it never happened. Snuggle up, and adamantly stand by the fact you never fucked. That technicality is still true. You also didn't both become all weak and needy for each other in the most pathetic of ways - or so you tell yourselves.
"We're super drunk," Jeongguk mumbles into your hair, as if you aren't both totally sober after that. Hugs you close to him, your back pressed to his chest. Doesn't even consider return to his room. He's home, now. Would make no sense to leave. "Won't even remember it in the morning."
And the way that you behave together come sunlight, without a care in the world, laughing and joking, both together and at each other's expense, it would seem like things are totally normal.
You're able to separate who you are after dark and the people you are during the sunlight hours. Can look at him, without feeling the need to jump his bones (although when you see him cooking breakfast, your eyes do linger for a little too long on the veins in his arms as he flicks the pan).
None of your friends are aware of your illicit affairs; how Jeongguk worships your body like a devout follower of a religion only he knows.
None of them... and also all of them.
They all see the way he looks at you first when he makes a joke to check that you're laughing. They're all aware of the way you ask him what he's gonna be wearing that morning when deciding what you're also gonna wear. Small, inconsequential encounters that are exclusive between the pair of you, never to be shared with anyone else.
Well, almost no one.
"Is it just me, or did you-" Nabi begins, eyes on the pair of you as she neatens up the sitting room with Jimin, but is almost instantly interrupted.
"Yep."
"Last ni-"
"Yep."
"They-"
"Yep."
Turning up her nose, she shudders a little. "Gross."
"Yep," Jimin nods. Thought he'd escaped ever hearing you and Jeongguk at it, but woke up needing water in the night. Ended up needing a punch to the face five minutes later when he realised the squeak of the floorboards wasn't from him walking around, but from your bedroom instead. Heard things in the minutes that followed that'll his nightmares forever .
"Are they, like... a thing?" she tries to clarify, but Jimin knows no more than anyone else.
"No one knows. Don't even think they know."
Which is true.
But you're currently looking at Jeongguk's big brown Bambi eyes while he explains the rules of boxing to you out on the front lawn. He wraps up your hands to 'train' you, and you giggle as he jokes with you about how you'll be a champ in no time, a stupidly love-drunk smile on your lips.
Quite unexpectedly - though not really at all, when you think about it - you realise you know .
You know, you know, you know.
How you feel; how much you really do like him; how you want things to be.
You just know.
Simply, and completely; Jeongguk can never be just a friend. Not now. Not anymore.
And it terrifies you.
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Practical Life Skills for Everyone
Wolverine X Reader FLUFF
Content: The new Home Ec teacher encounters the Shop Class teacher at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters
Note: photos come from Pinterest and collage made by me hehe
Tw: SAFE FOR POC/FEM READERS- Author can’t write dialogue, Logan is called short ONCE (written with comic accurate Wolverine in mind-but can be movie Logan too) reader is given pet names/refered to as she/Ms.
I haven’t written a serious fic since high school and I want to get back out here again hooray!
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A new semester, apple on the desk, pots and pans freshly washed, sewing machines at the ready. Nothing this semester could stop you- starting fresh at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters brought to fruition everything you’d hoped for. Family, a career, children, and most importantly- stability.
A word normally foreign for mutants of all kinds, yourself included. Settling down as a teacher helped to blend your identity. Charles had located you on purpose- something you’d come to terms with over the last few months spent bonding with the staff and fellow X-Men. You’d been offered a position as a teacher and had accompanied several missions, all successful due to your mutation. It wasn’t easy- and took many years to develop and control your abilities the way you could. You’d managed on your own just fine before this but life was lonely at best, suffocating at worst. A life spent using your mutation to survive- Now you could live.
You’d initially been brought on to train a young mutant named Rouge- with a similar ability, training her was rewarding. It was like a reflection of your younger self staring back st you. About a century ago you had no community, family, friends.
That reality seemed so far away compared to the life you lived now. You mused this thought to yourself unlocking the door to your classroom. You set the books on top of your perfectly organized desk- perfect timing as the students began filling in for the day.
You pulled up their bell work to complete on the projector watching one by one as they sorted themselves into groups ready. A slight drone of music started down the hall and the bell announced the start of another day.
Beginning with collecting the bell work, you started the students off with a simple recipe to complete before the end of class. Classic chocolate chip cookies- a family favorite and good way to observe the student’s skill levels.
“More salt Colby, the acidity is necessary”
“Yes Ms. Y/N”
“Scrape the flour off the top of the measuring cup for an even amount, Emma”
“Thanks, professor Y/N!”
It wasn’t long before each student had a decent batch of cookies ready to grade and devour- the edible ones at least..
But before any grading could be done- or eating the music level from the hall rose to an absurd level
“Does anyone know who has their music so loud this morning?” You stated opening the door to the hallway “I hardly think this time of morning is-“
“It’s the shop class down the hall” one of the students stated, also mildly annoyed
“Hmmm, shop class? I didn’t know we offered shop this semester.. Do you think the professor would-“
A chorus of “No way!” “Do not!” and “He’ll kill you!” erupted from the students
“Who? I hardly think anyone would be so ill-tempered about asking to cut the music down so early”
“It’s professor Logan, he’s back this semester”
“Then I guess we’ll have to give him a ring- this volume is a little much, surely he wouldn’t mind?”
The students held their breath as you dialed the shop’s classroom on the school phone
It was a wonder anyone picked up the phone in the shop. Many students gathered around the bike Logan was introducing as the senior class project. A chance to not only test their skills but add personal flare- a teenagers wet dream truly.
Some eager students had been sent to gather the tool on the bench when one notice the phone ringing. They answered and briefly spoke to the teacher on the other end before hanging up the phone. One student simply turned the music down- enough for Logan to notice. He didn’t like the settings messed with unless he did so himself, especially by his students.
“Who touched the radio?” He demanded
The students silently stood there as the music paused completely. One student bravely spoke up
“It was the phone-“
“The phone cut the music down?” He interrupted
“No, a teacher called and asked us to do it”
“Who? I sweat if you answered Scott and listened! What’s the first rule in shop!?” He sighed, already tired from the day and needing a drink.
He wasn’t cut out for this ‘teacher’ shit, Logan thought to himself. He’d tried to argue with Charles claiming he had better things to do and had been promptly reminded of how much time he spends in the garage should be put to good use.
He signed as he sensed his pupils unease and cut the music back on and instructed them to get started. He stalked to the phone clicking a few buttons to figure out what classroom called to complain ready to give Scott a piece of his mind. He ran out to steam seeing it was your classroom that had called. The new teacher who’d started their first semester just down the hall. He’d meant to stop by and welcome you but meeting people without confrontation had never been his strongest quality. What better time than now. He left the students to their assignment and carried himself down the hall ready to introduce himself.
A knock on the door interrupted the classroom buzz and a hush fell over the students. You padded over to the door and peeked out the small window. A short man, clad in a black t shirt and jeans stared back at you with an unreadable expression.
“Good morning! What can I do for you?” You trailed off not recognizing him.
“You called the shop a minute ago” he stated twirling the toothpick in his mouth
“Yes, I’m sorry to bother- You must be professor Logan”
“Mm hm” he answered shortly, stepping out further in the hall while you closed the door behind you.
“I’m sorry if I upset you, it was just a little loud for my students and I this morning-“
He held a hand up “Not a problem, doll. I can’t upset my favorite teacher, right?”
“Favorite teacher? We just met” you said with a light laugh
“I’ve been around a long time- I know a good girl when I see one”
“I hardly think that’s appropriate to say here”
“No? Maybe I can say it another way or another time?” His lips curling up in a smug smile “How about you come down to the shop after classes- Grab a drink later?”
“Oh! Uh sure? I guess so?” From the way the students reacted you’d assumed this teacher was awful, even horrible. Be here is his- polite as ever and asking to grab a drink?
“I like that answer” he laughed leaning closer “Meet me later at garage three- I’ll take you to Abe’s”
Abe’s was one of the nicer bars in the city, a place known for anniversaries, couples flocking there left and right for an evening out. You’d never stopped by until tonight- now you had plans for once with a complete stranger- a handsome one at that.
“I’ll see you later then, garage three”
“Looking forward to it, sweetheart” he said turning to head back to his class
You entered your room once again as the class held their breath. No yelling, no cussing, no words of any kind were heard and the students had feared your first day would be your last- they didn’t know that this was just the beginning
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#wolverine#wolverine fluff#logan howlett x you#logan howlett fluff
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Topical or Injectable Testosterone Comparison: Which is Best For You?
i've met a lot of people who are unsure of which route of HRT they'd like to take. there are a lot of pros and cons to each one, I figured I would lay out some information to try to make that decision a bit easier for folks, as someone who has used both.
both forms of testosterone are equally as effective, topical is not "weaker" than injectable, everyone's bodies processes these hormones differently and the effectiveness depends on how your body processes medications, and your dosage.
Topical Testosterone
Taken daily, or for some folks, every few days
Either comes in a bottle with a pump that dispenses measured doses, or will come in a month's worth of small packets or tubes.
Many insurance plans in the United States will not cover topical testosterone for transgender or intersex HRT purposes, and if it is covered, it often costs an exorbitant amount of money- well into the hundreds of dollars
Requires clean skin prior to and covering the skin with clothing after application and avoiding swimming and showering for several hours after application
Hands must be washed afterwards to prevent transmission of the hormone to other people in your environment
Has a strong smell due to the gel being alcohol based
Can cause burning sensation if it accidentally gets into sensitive areas such as mucous membranes, cuts, your eyes, etc.
Can cause skin irritation in some folks, though this is rare
Being an alcohol based gel, it is very flammable, so caution is needed to be practiced around flames until the gel has dried
Can be easy to miss doses if you have chronic fatigue and/or illness, memory problems, mental health issues, or a busy lifestyle
Injectable Testosterone
Usually taken once or twice a week, depending on your needs
Testosterone cypionate is almost always covered by insurance in places where transgender HRT is a part of your plan. It is extremely cheap if it is not covered for whatever reason, usually costing around $15 for a month's worth of vials and syringes, but this can vary wildly depending on your area
Requires needles, syringes, a sharps container (safe container to dispose needles into), alcohol prep pads or isopropyl alcohol or other strong sterilizing agent for the injection site, bandages for applying to the site afterwards, and optionally gloves, but washing your hands prior to injecting works as well
If doing your own injections, you have to learn how to measure your dose accurately, and how to hold the needle at the angle most appropriate for your injections, as well as learning about if you need to do subcutaneous or intramuscular injections
Despite the amount of items required, injections are very quick and can be done and forgotten about until your next injection date- there is no daily maintenance for injections
You must switch up your injection spots every time you inject as to avoid damaging muscle and skin tissue
Injections can be done by endocrinologists and prescribers if you do not feel comfortable doing them yourself
It is possible for your skin to react to, or for you to be allergic to the injecting needles. This is rare, and can be addressed with your prescriber and/or an allergist
Testosterone cypionate will crystalize in cold temperatures. It will change in appearance and consistency, but can be returned to normal by placing the vial into warm water for a while and/or by shaking the vial for a while
this is not meant to be a comprehensive guide, but rather some observations ihave made in my 8 years of being on testosterone HRT. hope this is helpful, we will add anything else we can think of. good luck figuring out what's right for you in your journey
#transgender#trans#lgbtqia#lgbtq#queer#transmasculine#transmasc#ftm#trans man#trans men#trans guy#trans boy#demiboy#nonbinary#enby#genderqueer#gnc#gender non conforming#butch#butch dyke#butch lesbian#ftm lesbian#transmasc lesbian#transmasculinity#transneutral#transneu#transneutrality#bigender#polygender#multigender
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how do u write fighting or do u have any tips? i have an idea for a fanfic not mcyt related but im terrified ill write the fight scene poorly as it makes up a majority of the fic.
Fighting and fight scene tips! I have a couple I guess! The tricky thing is fight scenes are really subjective. It's hard to give a "and here's all the puzzle pieces you need for a good one" kinda answer. But I can at least tell you the stuff I think about while I'm writing.
You know the drill, writing tips under the cut:
1. Research
I feel like I put this on every tip list. Research the thing you're doing. The Internet is your greatest friend and confidante. Look up YouTube videos of fighting competitions. Look up the weapons your characters are using. Figure out how many bullets are in the magazine for the gun type your character is using. Research how far you have to be to survive that explosion. Figure out if the cool sword breaker was actually useful in combat and why. Get a reasonable measure for how much blood your blorbo can lose before they pass out. This will help you paint a clear picture for yourself about what needs to happen, and why. Your readers don't necessarily have to have that clear picture, but the more you, the writer, know, the more likely you are to write a consistent, understandable narrative.
2. Character POV is important!
What does your character even know about fighting anyway? <- the most important question to ask of your POV character. This establishes what your character can tell your audience about what's going on. Has your character never fought before? Are they familiar with the weapons used? Do they know counters for fighting styles? Do they even know how to throw a punch? Do they have a high pain tolerance? These things will inform how the character informs us, the readers, about what's going on. Generally speaking, lack of consistency is what makes fight scenes frustrating, in my opinion. Sitting there and going "hey wait, how did that teenager know better battle tactics than the general they're fighting?" Takes you out of the moment and ruins whatever cool thing that teenager just did. Going "hold on, what do you mean the sniper didn't realize he was out of bullets?" Does the same thing. Keeping the characters consistent stops your readers from questioning the validity of the scene.
3. What can your readers see, and is it the same as what the characters see?
Similar to above, but a little more meta. Fight scenes are often played for drama. You're putting the character in peril, and that peril is for a reason: to make the audience have an emotional response. Can the readers see an ambush because of your 3rd person omniscient perspective, but the characters can't? Is that a good thing? Will it ruin the shock and surprise of the ambush, or will it induce dread and up the stakes? The enemy has a poisoned sword. Is this obvious to the audience in a way that isn't for the character? This is playing with suspense in a fight, adding and subtracting stakes for the readers, and it needs to be balanced against what the characters know.
I'm mentioning this as a thing because revealing your hand to the audience can be a really interesting way to add suspense, but if the audience feels like a character should've been able to see it coming [ex. How come the assassin didn't anticipate someone poisoning a blade during a fight?] it ruins the immersion of the scene, and makes it feel like you the author are shoving the characters in a direction. Generally speaking if the readers can see the hand of the author moving, it breaks immersion.
[Notably, I don't write in 3rd person omniscient. I write in 3rd person limited. I don't often have a chance or reason to reveal information to the audience that the main character doesn't know, because the audience is observing the world through that character.]
4. What are the guys in the back doing?
Everyone knows the Main Character has to fight the Antagonist at some point, but normally the MC isn't alone. They have friends and allies, or their pet dog. They have a supporting cast, and that supporting cast wants to help the main character. So... where are they exactly? A pitfall I see in Big Final Fight Scenes pretty often is, the MC brings an army, or their crew, or their super friends or whoever, and yet somehow, they end up fighting the bad guy alone, and the writer just... Doesn't address the other people in the room. And you the reader are left going, "Wait, why is no one intervening?" This gets especially immersion breaking when the main character inevitably starts losing their fight [because drama, few fights are easy]. Our MC might die! Why is no one trying to run even a basic distraction on the Antag? This isn't to say you have to have your supporting cast get involved in the final fight -- sometimes you need that solo showdown! But you do have to have a convincing reason to keep the rest of the cast away. If we the readers are under the impression there's six other people in the room just standing there, because you the writer forgot they were there, it gets kinda awkward.
5. Zoom in! Feel it. Zoom out! See it.
Okay so, you now know: Basic information on how your character(s) fight, what your POV character(s) know, what the readers can see (either the same or different from your characters), and you know where everyone is and what they're doing. You have your god's eye view ready. How do you show it?
Zoom in, zoom out.
There is a balance to fight scenes, in about the same way there is a balance to an art piece. There is a foreground, middle ground, and background. Each have importance, each need focus. The foreground is what is happening immediately in front of your POV character, it's their thoughts, what their weapon feels like, any wounds they've taken. It's bullet time, and observations, and right in their face. The middle ground is the surrounding 5-10ft. It's the people beside them, it's what's just past their opponent. It's the rest of the room, or the sound just out of view, or the object just out of reach. The background is everything past that. It's distant explosions. It's their friend getting wounded. It's an archer on the next rooftop.
How much of that you want your audience to see, how you want to vary that, depends on what you as an author view as important. If you want to focus more on the character, their struggle, their opponent, you will write most of the fight scene in the foreground. Focus on what the character feels, the sensation of movement, the pain, fear, exhilaration. Focus on the words they're saying [or not saying]. Focus on what they know, what they're telling the audience. If you want to highlight the battle, how the main character is working in their surroundings, you will focus on the middle ground. This is what the character looks like from an outside perspective, how they fight against their opponent. This is them trying to reach an item, or shove their opponent into something. This is running, and kicking, and trying to figure out if your friend is still by your side. This is seeing your comrade go down out of the corner of your eye, or admiring someone's fighting style, or screaming orders at someone. The background is anything further away, a distant problem that is putting on pressure. A ticking time bomb. This is the building catching fire, the lightning in the storm overhead. This is superman fighting off the alien army while your MC is trying to kill the general. This is you reminding the audience the rest of the world hasn't stopped turning while the MC has been doing MC things.
Generally speaking, I like to move through all three spaces several times during a fight scene? The main character is hurting and holding onto their sword, and breathing is hard. The antag is pressing the advantage, trying to back them through the space. But they can't lose too much ground, because their friend is fighting the second antag over there, and they're bleeding from a fresh cut. They have to win, they have to escape, because the sound outside says the building is groaning on its foundation-- and the main character stumbles as the building rocks. [And I've just moved through all three types of ground, giving the audience a clear view of what's happening].
You don't have to bounce reliably through the space. Not showing the background for a long time means you can surprise your audience with a new hero or villain swooping in! Or leave us in suspense about that magic ritual we're supposed to be stopping. Not showing a middle ground side character implies your MC is so distracted they won't know their friend is hurt until it's too late -- etc.
If it helps, I like to imagine there's a little invisible camera panning around, taking dramatic shots of everything, like you're making a movie, and writing accordingly.
Uhm!! Hopefully that's helpful?
Some broader quick tips:
Fight scenes are very fast, and generally happen over a period of a few minutes. That time will feel significantly longer because it's jammed packed with Stuff Happening, but the fact remains, it's only a few minutes. Keeping the timing in mind helps you figure out if backup can arrive to help, or if it's reasonable for someone to miss the fight happening, etc,
On that note, if it's a battle specifically, battles [especially medieval ones] are short. They don't last all day, unless they're a siege, and even then, sieges are long periods of digging in and waiting with short clashes peppered around.
This might just be me, but try not to overuse metaphors? We get it. The swordsmen look like they're dancing. But not everything they do is graceful or dancer-y. Sometimes you can just say "and he punched him in the face." Unless your writing style is naturally super flowery, in which case, do continue. Consistency is key.
Do some basic research on wounds. Suspension of disbelief can only carry so far, and pain is genuinely debilitating. Also, yes coughing up blood is a very dramatic "the character is dying" cue, but in real life it only happens on very bad lung/throat wounds. If what you're writing is Super Realistic, maybe don't throw that in there.
Write confusion with care. You might not want your audience to know what's going on all the time, but if your audience genuinely can't figure out what's going on, why something is happening, or who it's happening to, you will eventually lose your immersion.
Write comedy with care. If your fight is non-serious, or if your character in a serious fight doesn't normally take things seriously, jokes are allowed to happen. But sometimes if you don't take it seriously enough, you will chop the knees off your drama. Maybe save some of the jokes for after the life-threatening battle is over.
I think! That's everything I can think of just now! I hope it helps :'D
#answering asks#anonymous#writing advice#writing tips#writing#apologies if this was incoherent at all#its 2am im very tired and this week has been hell#i wanted to answer this before i forgot it and it got buried
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