#;; i wont be checking this blog

[kaeyacollection]

Who's ready for my Master Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss Crepus Theory!!

I originally posted this over at Hoyolab and people there seemed to really like my favorite joke theory that Crepus just tries to gaslight the whole of Mondstadt right after obtaining Kaeya

Majority of this will be the same but with little tweaks for the wonderful tumblr audience

This joke stems from Kaeya's introduction:

and the use of the word "rumored"

Cause it's not like it said beyond Teyvat or the seven nations just Mondstadt

And I mean like c'mon how many families are living off the grid in Mondstadt

(Actually... Don't answer that I forgot Glory's boyfriend is just

Out there in the bush with Razor...)

Initially I had the idea of Crepus walking around the markets one day carrying Kaeya with Diluc beside him running into Varka who asks:

"Who's the boy?"

"You mean my son?"

"Not Diluc the boy you're carrying"

"I have two sons? You know this??"

But then the Caribert quest came out mentioning Kaeya ran away from home near immediately and was dragged home by Crepus just as fast and it became even funnier

Cause imagine you're by the docks one day and richest man in town gets off the boat with no cargo but instead a tiny child you may not have seen before that Crepus seems to be very cross with at the moment and threatening to turn him into a leash kid if he runs off again

In a small town that loves gossip do you know how fast that information is spreading? Cause I do and Varka's knocking on Crepus's door 30 minutes later like:

"Is this what we're doing? We're just taking kids now?"

Both paths lead to Varka asking where Kaeya comes from and getting hit with a

"I think you're a bit too old to still be confused about the birds and the bees Varka"

Varka getting frustrated to the point he just starts demanding Kaeya tell him what's up

Love to see him following in his fathers footsteps of stressing Varka the fuck out

And upon hearing how his birth father left for juice and didn't return Varka went

"Good! That was ALL I needed to know!!"

Follow ups on if his father intended to abandon him or got lost in the storm and needed a search party?

Don't care!! You weren't kidnapped!!

Welcome to the knights! 🤝

Which bringing it back to it only being a rumor

In a town of alcoholics, who's gonna call out the one guy with the winery?

Here's some add ons that got sparked from the comment section 😘

Bonus panels would have included Varka showing up with Rosaria one day mimicking Crepus about "wHaT you ForGot I haD a Kid" sparking a trend within the community of just adopting random children to the point posters are made saying "In Barbatos name: See a child Take a child"

Alice seeing it and pulling a "when in rome" tucking both Albedo and Diluc(who is yelling he is an adult) under her arms and telling Klee if she ever sees someone in need of a mom let her know she'll send over the paperwork right away

And then the last bonus: Venti wakes up, walks in through the gate while playing a tune, and stops when he sees the poster, not sure if he needs to start yet another revolution, or if this one is fine actually

I imagine the posters had to be taken down because visitors were losing their kids left and right and the solution of parents pinning a note saying "not dead & still want custody" to their kids shirt didn't catch on but the saying still lives strong in the hearts of Mondstadt's citizens I mean look Bennett and his 27 dads Mondstadt may have a lot of orphans but the demand is even higher

Comment on original post:

"I have a headcanon where Kaeya fooled first Crepus, then the rest of Mondstadt but.this is too funny!! I want to see this happening!"

Which prompted one of my new favorite lines at the end:

"Wait by fool Crepus first do you mean like Crepus finding him out in the storm bringing him inside to ask him where he lives and Kaeya's just

"? I live here? You adopted me? Are you feeling okay?"

Cause I'm absolutely cry laughing over this that's so good but that also means when Kaeya runs away Crepus is just

"hey no no l'm not misplacing you a second time come home" "

[valgeristik]

Modern au man with every job etc. do u see my vision

(thank u @blu3mila for the best discord message ever that i will keep on my desktop till the end of times. also thank you to this great post for inspiration)

[pokemonranch]

Hi! I hope that those sort of negative anons don't get you down! Your adoption events are really cool and cute and I think it's really awesome of you to do so much work for fun/for community enrichment! I appreciate all the thought and time you put into it! (no need to respond- just wanted to send some positivity your way!)

<3!

[daughterthethird]

This time on: "Daughter Impulsively Does a Thing", local catgirl believes she could write a fanfic despite having literally zero experience in the writing department

[doinggreat]

I also got the copyright strike on SIX posts (checked my email and turns out I got flagged on the 4th. They’re saying that when a bunch of posts are flagged in one day it only counts as one strike (3 strikes and you can kiss your blog a goodbye 🙃)). All of them were gifs (not videos which is strange bc before they never went after gifs) however from 2023. I have a theory that they’re copyrighting videos and gifs that include full on goals and/or where the scoreline is visible

[fuzzyrain]

Decrepit restaurant

Wonder what happened here....

List of mods used:

Axiom

Handcrafted

Farmer's delight

Let's do! Vinery

Let's do! Meadow

Let's do! Herbal brews

Let's do! Candelight

Let's do! Bakery

Macaw's windows

Shaders: Complementary shaders

[ernestelm]

Bombalurina as Jun Song from Big Brother

without the caption

reference:

[ervikirvi]

Screw it I’m gonna make a Google Doc on each one of the abstraction’s personalities and whatnot so I don’t have to reread every single response I make. I might make it open for people to comment on and suggest things to develop their personalities more

I’ve also developed an unknown sickness that’s kicking my ass right now

@asktheabstractions if you’re interested ‼️🔥

[ronancer4evr]

HAPPY PRIDE MONT TO THEM!! 🎉🎊💐💖😜😍

[ispyspookymansion]

okay i cant take it anymore im sorry for posting about the passenger im gonna need you all to hand it back over to me now

[theunconcernedembalmer]

Saw you talking abou edgelord, how could anybody forget him? Also, I always think he sounds like Hollow Ichigo from Bleach’s English dub.

I don't watch Bleach so I had to look the guy up and. You know what. Yeah. Yeah.

[lotrlorien]

On hiatus. Will be back on 14th July. I put up a queue for you guys. I have my 30th birthday tomorrow and then I'm off to summer cottage. <3

[wavetapper]

thought about putting more of my interests in my pinned but changed my mind. if you cant handle me at my bms url and nyami pic you don't deserve me at my blogging about mainstream capcom video game and critically acclaimed apple tv series

[kkbardd]

glad you feel better, I’d miss you if you left!

do you know if the wrist issue is carpal tunnel or something other? not meant to pry! medical family and going into medicine, just curious to see if I could offer any advice of sorts!! :]

Hey Isopod!! <3 I have some form of RSI, tho I've never had it diagnosed ^^ I actually thought it was carpal tunnel too when I first developed it a few years ago lol but thank god its not! I don't feel any numbness, it's more like an tight-sore feeling on the back of my hand & base of wrist that starts off as an itch (best way I can describe it). And if I neglect it too much like I did recently I start losing a lot of strength in my hand to where holding up something like a phone becomes a struggle.

I've had it for some time, but its usually absent unless I really use my wrist a lot! I can usually head it off early by sleeping with a wrist brace when I start to feel that distinct 'itch' on the back of my hand, but it'll still develop unless I make sure to take a few days off afterwards.

Luckily (?) my family has a lot of experience with wrist problems due to their work, so I've got a ton of wrist braces, ice packs, and anti-inflammatories at my disposal. Summer is always the worst season for me tho bc I just draw so much!! If anything, I'm more annoyed at not being able to draw again than the wrist pain itself </3

[caluski]

why does no one care that i am like this, why does no one care ive been suicidal and self harming for most of my life, why does everyone who has ever claimed they love me insists on looking away so i can deal with it all on my own - i cannot deal with this on my own. i want to die, i want to die, i want to die forever, i want to never wake up, i want to be gone, i dont want to be alive anymore, i know im a bad person, i know im a bad person, i know i deserve this, but cant i just die instead of being here and being useless and only a burden to everyone around me. i hate being stupid and ugly and boring, i hate being the one everyone is ashamed of, i hate having no worth inside me, i hate bothering everyone with my desire to die, i know everyone leaves me on my own on purpose, i know people most of the time dont actually forget about me but choose to keep me out of their life. i know i will never matter in any way to anyone, i know that no one will actually ever care, i know this, i know this so well, i just choose to lie to myself so stubbornly, i lie to myself everyday saying such stupid fucking things as "maybe someone will find me tolerable one day" and "maybe i can actually talk to someone one day". all i wanted was someone to be by my side when im going thru it over and over again even if just to distract me from it all, someone who wont get pissed off even though i cry and apologize constantly, someone who will try to wait it out with my without leaving my side. but no matter how much i pray, no matter how much i cry, nothing ever changes for better, im becoming worse and worse, im becoming more and more worthless, im self-victimizing to the point of driving everyone mad, and i have no outlet left, i feel guilty about everything, i feel guilty about being miserable, i feel guilty about being quiet and indifferent, i feel guilty about enjoying the little things, i feel guilty for wanting love, i feel guilty for wanting company, i feel guilty for wanting to be seen, everything is miserable and everything feels so hopeless, i want to die, i want to die, i want to die, even though i know my corpse will be left bloated and rotting in this very bedroom as everyone else remains indifferent at best. and what a fitting match to a rotten life that will be

[obito-week]

Thank you for all your wonderful contributions this year again!

Obito Week 2025 might be finished for now, but it is the beginning of the last posting period! Until the 3rd of March you can still submit entries to the bingo!