#;; don’t you dare think i’ll ever forget you { MOVED AWAY VERSE } | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

writingblock101 · 5 years ago

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Hooky (Jason Todd x Reader)

Request for @pickle-todd: Jason + “If we get caught, you can’t speak English and I’m deaf! (I don’t know why it won’t let me tag you)

Word count: 1,600

Tags: @idkmanicantenglish

“You know, I thought I got out of having to go to these galas when I died,” Jason rolls his eyes as you straighten his tie.

“Guess you should’ve stayed dead then,” You quip, tucking his black tie into his jacket.

Jason groans dramatically and Bruce clasps him on the shoulder.

“If you don’t want to go to the galas, then don’t get caught sabotaging the Batmobile radio,” He grins, patting him on the shoulder.

“I can’t believe I took that bet,” Jason grumbles, glaring at Tim.

“I told you not to,” You remind him.

“But I knew he’d be too stubborn not to,” Tim grins viciously. “And now you have to suffer with me.”

“Well, I’d appreciate if next time I don’t get pulled into the crossfire,” You remark, adjusting your shoes which you knew you would be kicking off before the end of the night.

“Sorry, babe,” Jason hooks an arm around your waist and kisses your head. “That’s what you get for dating a dumbass.”

“I should’ve escaped when I could,” You tell Damian.

“Don’t pretend that you weren’t warned,” Damian reminds you.

“I’ll listen next time,” You promise. “But he’s kind of cute, so I’ll keep him for now.”

Damian rolls his eyes.

“He’s not worth it.”

“Hey!” Jason protests.

“We’ve got guest to greet!” Bruce expertly and very subtly defuses the building argument between his second eldest and youngest.

Smart move on his part. Arguments between Jason and Damian rarely end cleanly.

“We’re “fashionably” late,” Tim rolls his eyes. “Why do we have to greet anyone?”

“I don’t understand the reasoning of being purposefully late,” Damian rolls his eyes again.

“Well, you see kiddo, Brucie over here has to play the stupid billionaire and fashionably late is something only dumbass rich people do,” Jason explains with a shit-eating grin.

Bruce narrows his eyes.

“Watch it, or I’ll tell the press you two are engaged.”

Jason narrows his eyes right back.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me.”

You smack Jason’s arm.

“Stop running your mouth and getting me dragged into this crap!”

“Should’ve listened to me,” Damian sing songs in the background.

“You’ve been hanging around Dick too much,” You groan, recognizing Dick’s sing-songy tone that Damian seemed to have picked up.

“At least I haven’t chosen to spend time with Todd.”

“Listen you little shit--” Jason starts.

“Alright, let’s go!” Another brilliant situation diffusion by Bruce.

To his credit, it does work because when he pushes open the doors to the large ballroom, multiple people’s attentions turn to the Wayne family and co. While Bruce and Tim begin mingling with various business partners, you and Jason slip away from the crowd. Jason snags two flutes of champagne off a nearby waiter and hands you a glass.

“You look beautiful tonight,” He compliments, clicking your glass.

“Thank you,” You smile, taking a sip. “You look very handsome.”

Jason smiles at you and opens his mouth to say something else, but he’s cut off by a shriek.

“Jason!” An old cougar who’s always had the hots for Jason, especially after his major growth spurt with his return to the land of the living bustles toward you two. “Is that you?”

Jason groans and tosses back the whole flute in one shot.

“Come on, babe,” You hook your arm in his. “Let’s go be sociable.”

He groans again but puts on a charming smile.

“Mrs. Young, it’s lovely to see you again.”

“Oh please,” Mrs. Young waves him off. “I’ve told you, call me Melany.”

“Right,” Jason smiles tightly. “Melany, I’m sure you remember my girlfriend,” Jason gestures to you.

Melany narrows her eyes at you for a moment.

“Oh, yes of course, um... “ She pauses, seeming to not remember your name.

You’re not sure if she truly doesn’t remember your name, or if she’s attempting to make you feel insignificant. If so, she doesn’t succeed.

“Y/N,” You remind her with a sickly sweet smile. “It’s lovely to see you again.”

“Of course!” Melany lightly taps her head. “I’m sorry, the common names slip my mind, dear!”

“It’s quite alright,” You internally roll your eyes, knowing fully well she wouldn’t forget Jason’s name despite his name being more common than yours.

“Jason, give me a hug!” She demands. “I haven’t seen you in months.”

“Ah, yes, of course,” Jason says reluctantly, but releases your arm and allows Melany to pull him forward harshly.

Your eyebrows shoot up when you notice her hand starting to drift downward, but luckily Jason breaks away quickly.

“Come on, boy, let’s see if your dancing skills have improved,” Melany insists, dragging Jason to the dance floor.

He helplessly looks over at you with panic in his eyes, but you can’t do much more than a shrug. Unfortunately, Jason is very well versed in how to deal with Melany Young, but that doesn’t make the experience any more pleasant.

“Excuse me,” You turn to see a gentleman roughly Bruce’s age smiling at you, a little more predatory than you would like. “Can I bother you for a dance?”

You suppose this is karma.

“Of course!” You insist with a fake smile.

As predicted, the man who introduced himself as Justin, was handsy. Multiple times you had to yank his hands up to keep them from slipping down to your ass. Unfortunately for you, Justin wasn’t the only man trying to cop a feel on the dance floor tonight. Once the song was over, another man sweeps in to dance then another man after that. After the third song, you see another man moving to speak to you when someone clears their throat behind you. Thankfully, you turn to see Jason looking a bit pissed off. He seems to have noticed your struggle with wandering hands tonight.

“Bill,” He greets tightly. “Mind if I take my girlfriend back?”

“By all means,” Bill gestures.

Jason sighs but takes one of your hands, the other resting on your hip. You place your free hand on his shoulder, grateful to be dancing with your boyfriend and not another creepy man.

“Bruce is lucky this is a charity ball because if I saw one more hand slide down your back, someone would be going home in an ambulance,” Jason growls to you.

You smile, pressing a kiss to Jason’s jaw.

“Good thing I have Red Hood to scare them off.”

“I should’ve broken their hands.”

“It would’ve been satisfying,” You admit. “But way more trouble than it’s worth.”

Jason looks down at you.

“Not to me, it wouldn’t. You’re worth that and more.”

“You see, that would be really cute if you weren’t talking about literally breaking people’s hands.”

Jason laughs, pulling you close for a moment to press a kiss to your forehead.

“Come on, I’m tired of being groped by old horny women, let’s go get some real food.”

“Gotta love the casual sexual assault that comes with rich people,” You roll eyes. “But we can’t just leave. Bruce is going to notice we’re gone.”

“Oh trust me,” Jason glances over at Bruce, surrounded by women. “He won’t notice a thing.”

“You know, if he was actually Brucie Wayne, I’d believe you,” You admit. “But he’s not. He’s going to notice.”

“Well, it looks like we’ll have to be sneaky,” Jason grins with a quick kiss. “Come on,” He takes your hand, leading you to the back of the ballroom.

You both watch Bruce carefully and wait until his back is fully turned then dart for the door. You can’t help but giggle as you two jog down the long elegant hallway toward the kitchen.

“No, wait, Jason,” You tug his arm to a stop. “If we go to the kitchen, we’re definitely going to get caught!”

“Don’t worry,” Jason insists. “If we get caught, you can’t speak English and I’m deaf!”

“As great as that plan is, I don’t think that’ll work on your family,” You roll your eyes.

“You underestimate my acting skills,” Jason insists, tugging you toward the kitchen again.

You let him but roll your eyes again.

“I’ve seen your acting skills. They’re nothing to be proud of.”

“Tell that to Melany.”

Okay, he’s got a point.

“Hey, wait a second,” You frown. “Why am I the one who can’t speak English and you’re deaf? Don’t you know five other languages or something?”

“Just make one up!” Jason shrugs.

“What?” You laugh. “That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard!”

“It’ll be a language from a small, little known country! Trust me, it’s foolproof.”

“Yeah, maybe against a five-year-old!”

“Hey! I resent that!”

“Master Jason, Ms. Y/N,” A voice interrupts from behind you.

You both freeze but slowly turn around, looking a little guilty, to see Alfred watching you with an amused smile.

“The gala is not in the kitchen, perhaps you got lost?” He offers.

You smile awkwardly while Jason pretends to not have heard Alfred, gesturing to his ears with a confused expression. You close your eyes for a moment to resist the urge to face palm. He’s really going for it.

Alfred raises an eyebrow at Jason’s antics and you bite your tongue to keep from laughing. He signs something, which you will admit that it’s impressive that Jason actually knows any sign language. Alfred chuckles with a fond smile.

“I recall Master Bruce often creating elaborate plans to sneak out of these galas as a young boy, although, I do advise you next time to have a better plan,” Then Alfred turns his back and wanders down the hall.

Jason grins and takes your hand again.

“Thanks, Alfie!”

“You’re ridiculous,” You laugh as you two continue down the hall away from the gala.

“I told you, foolproof!”

“No, it absolutely was not!”

“I totally sold that with my amazing acting,” Jason insists.

You roll your eyes.

“Okay, babe. Whatever you say.”

Jason grins, kissing your head.

“So, where do we want to go first with our new found freedom?”

“I could go for a Frosty.”

“Wendy’s it is!”

Alfred needs a raise for putting up with all these fools.

#jason todd #red hood #jason todd x reader #red hood x reader #jason todd headcanon #red hood headcanons #tim drake #damian wayne #bruce wayne #brucie wayne #batman #dc #request #protective! jason

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autumnslance · 4 years ago

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((Shadowbringers 5.3-5.4. I wanted to have this done by the 15th of January but didn’t quite manage it because these two idiots are wordy as heck, and I initially started in the wrong place and POV. I wrote roughly 8000 words total and only ended up using half of them. There are letters and pining and admitting things happening here.

Below the cut as usual for those who prefer Tumblr to Ao3, but the formatting may work better on that site.))

Aeryn stepped through the mirror and into the familiar space of the Ocular, taking a moment to reorient herself after the rush of journeying between worlds. Once the vertigo had passed she left the Tower, the Crystarium guards greeting her as she crossed the Exedra. It took some questioning before she was finally pointed to where Ryne was currently; training with Captain Lyna just outside the city gates.

She simply watched for a time as Lyna tried to keep her distance while Ryne tried to close in. Aeryn did not announce herself, simply noting how Ryne’s bladework had improved, at least one new trick learned since the last time Aeryn had watched her fight.

“That is enough for now,” Lyna said as they reached a breakpoint in their dance. “And the Warrior of Darkness has waited long enough,” she continued with a wry smile in Aeryn’s direction.

Ryne started, then turned with a grin, hurrying over to give Aeryn a hug. “It’s good to see you! Oh sorry, I’m all sweaty…”

Aeryn laughed, brushing damp strands of hair from Ryne’s reddened face. It was still winter in Eorzea, but in Norvrandt spring was on the horizon and the morning was warm. “Not to worry. Hope you don’t mind the interruption.”

Lyna waved them off. “Go on; we can catch up later.”

Aeryn nodded, knowing the captain wanted word of her grandfather, and G’raha had given Aeryn a small package to deliver, but that would wait until Lyna was off duty and had readied herself. There was an order to such things with the stoic woman.

Instead, Aeryn turned back to Ryne and smiled. Had she gotten taller? “I have a question, if you’ll indulge me.”

“Of course!” Ryne answered as they walked across the bridge into the city. “What is it you need?”

“I have a note from Thancred; he and Urianger are currently on a mission, but he left me instructions for tod--well. The day it is back on the Source.”

“I see. What are the instructions?”

“I’m to ask you about the black willow box he kept in his room here.”

Ryne paused, a little sharp breath escaping. “Ryne?” Aeryn asked.

“Sorry! It’s just I was under strict instruction never to open the box, though I have the key now, of course; I still didn’t dare. It’s where he kept,” she hesitated.

“Kept what?”

“I’ll show you; it’s a good thing--I think--that he wants you to see. Come on!” Ryne dashed toward her apartment as if she hadn’t just completed a long practice session with the captain of the guard. Aeryn picked up her own pace to follow along after.

It did not take long for them to reach the apartment Ryne used to share with Thancred. As the girl opened the door, Aeryn realized it was the first time she had returned to these rooms since the Scions’ departure from the First. It was much as she remembered, though lacking Thancred’s continued presence. Evidence of Gaia’s frequent visits were visible instead, from lipstick-stained coffee mugs at the sink to dark ribbons left on an end table to a book that did not seem to be to Ryne’s taste on a sofa cushion.

Ryne paused in front of the door that had led to Thancred’s small room. “I haven’t been in here since,” she trailed off, shaking her head. “Gaia and Taynor sorted most of it, actually, so only a few personal things remain. I should probably move to a smaller suite to let someone else use the space…”

“Maybe you need a roommate,” Aeryn suggested. “Perhaps Gaia could stay with you.”

Ryne reddened. “We’ve considered it, but I’m just…” She gave a helpless little laugh as she shrugged, looking up at Aeryn apologetically. “I’m just not quite ready, I think. It’s silly, but there’s a part of me that keeps hoping they’ll find a way--a safe way--to return. Even just for a little while.”

Aeryn squeezed Ryne’s shoulder. “It’s not silly,” she said quietly. “And I keep hoping that, too. Fairly certain Y’shtola has it at the top of her projects list.”

Ryne laughed, truly this time. “She would!” She looked at the door again. “The box should be on the shelf above the writing desk,” she offered Aeryn a small key. “I’ll let you see for yourself.”

Aeryn nodded, taking the little key and entering the room.

It was familiar, yet unfamiliar. Always small, it had kept from being cramped mainly by virtue of Thancred’s own minimalist tendencies with his added reluctance of accumulating things on the First that he would have to leave behind in the end. Even so, the room felt barren, many necessities and items missing, given away to be used by others in need among the Crystarium’s residents; naught went to waste while still usable.

The bed was neatly made; her eyes lingered for a moment, recalling a handful of pleasant times curled up together in it. They had often met in her own chambers for privacy, especially when feeling the need for more than simple closeness. There was a bench under the shuttered window; he used to clean his gunblade there, storing materials and parts in a chest beneath the bench. Nothing remained but the seat.

The writing desk was really a tall square table, a stool for the chair, in a corner of the room. Two simple shelves hung on the wall above it, some of Thancred’s personal effects that remained neatly placed upon them. The black willow box was a simple but lovely piece of old Nabaath make. It was familiar only in that it was a part of the room, always upon the shelf above the desk, a background decoration.

She had to stretch a little to pull the small box down. She unlocked it, pondering what it could contain for one last moment before opening the lid to find out.

Neatly folded pages, Thancred’s familiar handwriting covering them, five different bundles marked by Vrandtic dates in Eorzean lettering. The earliest one was dated five--no, six years ago now, in the midst of Thancred’s first year in this world, just after the Vrandtic new year. The second bundle was dated a year later. Then the third, then a fourth. The final bundle broke the date pattern, written...She shivered. The dates would have been the time after they assaulted Mt Gulg and before seeking Emet-Selch and the Exarch in the Tempest, when she had lain in a Light-induced fever for days in between.

All of the letters, long and detailed, were addressed to her.

Aeryn carried the box to the window and opened the shutters, letting in the natural light of day. She sat at the bench, picked up the first letter, and began to read, brows already rising at the first line.

My Dear Aeryn,

It’s been roughly half a year, to me, since I arrived in this world. We search for a means to send me back, but given the dangers, it’s difficult to say if we shall ever be successful. I hold onto hope, given we have made the impossible happen more than once—particularly when you are involved.

I know so much less time is passing for you, even as time is difficult to track beneath the eternal Light, but the people still mark the hours and days as best they can--perhaps better than we do in the Source, reliant as we are upon the sun and stars. So as the calendar year turns to a new page, I find myself confronted by reminders of you at every turn, my own mind noting the dates, as if counting down to your nameday in truth.

Violas grown in the Hortorium call to mind your favored hair decoration and your scents carried with it. The heather meadows and clear mountain springs of Il Mheg make me think of the taste of your magic. Treasure hunters in Mord Souq unearth duelist rapiers reminiscent of your combat style. The grey waters of a lake, shifting in color and tone under the burning sky, remind me of your eyes and ever-shifting moods.

I think of our new situation, how fragile it all still seems, our duties as Scions, the distance between Ala Mhigo and Doma keeping us apart more often than I liked. Especially after already having denied my own interests for far longer than I care to admit.

I fear now, not knowing when I may return to your side--in whatever capacity--that I am forgetting important things, and I very much do not want to. So indulge me as I list your various qualities that I admire, to remind myself why I allowed myself to maintain my impossible infatuation for so long, even as you became one of my dearest friends...

Aeryn eyes widened as she turned to the next page, then quickly checked the several pages following; Thancred had indulged his bardic habits, writing in verse and engaging in wordplay. Even the most innocent descriptions and memories of moments together, professional and extremely personal, were laden with puns and innuendo--not entirely unexpected from him.

She was mostly through the verses, trying to parse every dedicated line, when a knock at the door startled her.

“Aeryn?” Gaia called. “Everything all right?”

She cleared her throat. “Fine; I’ve quite a bit of reading to do, though; I may need some water.”

The door opened, Gaia appearing with a tray already in hand. “Ryne thought you might--are you all right? You’re redder than I have ever seen, and that’s saying something.”

Aeryn pressed a hand to her warm cheeks. “I’m fine. Just...wasn’t expecting some of what I found so far.”

“Is that good or bad?” The girl asked, setting the tray on the nearby side table in easy reach. There was a small tea service and also ice water, bless them.

“It’s...Better than good,” Aeryn replied. “I may be awhile, though.”

Gaia shrugged in her nonchalant, pretending-not-to-care way. “Doesn't matter to me, but I was going to drag Ryne out for a while, just so you know. You’ll be fine here by yourself--won’t you?” A little genuine care came through in the last two words, despite her attempts to seem otherwise.

Aeryn nodded.

“All right. Enjoy your reading, and we’ll see you later.” Gaia gave a little wave before leaving, quietly closing the door behind her.

Aeryn cleared her throat again, sipping the cup of minty green tea--bless those girls again--and set the first letter aside for now. She would get back to that later; alone in her own room, where she could bury her face in a pillow and shriek like a schoolgirl when overwhelmed by his words, godsdamn him. For now, the second bundle had her curious.

My Dearest Aeryn,

I almost let the date slip by, I am ashamed to say. So much has happened in recent weeks...

She read through two pages of his recounting Minfilia’s story and the reincarnations that had followed, offering a small hope to Norvrandt; of Urianger and Y’shtola’s arrival, his anger at the spell’s failure and yet relief at seeing Urianger again; and their shift in focus upon learning of the Eighth Umbral Calamity.

...Urianger’s vision of the Calamity, of our deaths, is a sobering thought. The idea of you fallen especially freezes my blood. I cannot bear the thought.

So I redoubled my efforts to rescue the girl bearing Minfilia’s name and appearance. She sleeps now on a cot in this Mord town as I write. She can’t be more than twelve or thirteen summers; a frail little thing with no skills aside from reading books thicker than she is, and asking innumerable questions. They taught her nothing, simply locked her in a windowless cell under the waterline. For at least ten years, that is all the child’s known. If the fate Urianger saw for us makes my blood freeze, her situation makes it boil again. Should I chance to meet Eulmore’s General--the man responsible for her “care”--I will let him know exactly what I think.

Tomorrow Minfilia and I shall attempt to reach Nabaath Areng, the site of the Flood’s halting; the girl says she must go there, as if pulled. I have a hope I dare not voice yet. The Blessing of Light does work in such interesting ways.

But that is on the morrow; tonight, though a day late, I wished to write to you as I did last year. With the date in mind you have also been in my thoughts--when I’ve had a moment to think, at least--and I find myself recalling more and more often the little things. Simple things. Things I fear I may forget, having been here for years now, years without the way you tilt your head when you have a question. It initially annoyed me actually, you were so quiet but now, gods I would give much to be in your silence again, to see that quizzical look. Anything to see the little furrow between your brows when you’re thinking. When you prop your chin on your hands as you stare out a window, tea forgotten in your hand. How you unconsciously wriggle and make faces as you read, reacting to the pages, lips silently moving as you devour each word...

“Oh I do not,” Aeryn muttered--realizing in the same moment that she was doing that now. She sipped her tea and kept reading, noting how he wrote, as much as what; the moments where he had scratched out words, or underlined others. The splots where the pen had sat on the page a moment longer than normal as he thought of what he wanted to admit to. The way the letters slanted in places where he was eager. There was no poetry this time, fewer puns and word play. He had written when tired and possibly injured, given the shakiness of some lettering.

There were places where he couldn’t remember clearly--what perfume had she worn on the day of a particular memory? Was she wearing her red coat, or a blue dress in another? He wasn’t certain.

The letter wrapped up several pages later.

...I must get some sleep, given the long trek across the Amber Hills awaiting. I don’t know what will happen when we arrive, but whatever it is, I’ll keep the girl safe. Taking care of her is the only thing I can do, lacking the skills of the Exarch and our colleagues. Particularly now that we have abandoned the idea of going home--yet. I still don’t know how I feel about that, having struggled to find a way back for so long now, but there must be a home to return to. To save ourselves, we must save this realm. Forgive me; as much as I yearn to see you again, I wish for you to live far more. Despite everything, I still remain

Yours, Thancred.

Aeryn drew in a sharp breath; the previous letter’s signature had been much simpler, after all the floweriness of the verses. This simpler, newsy, reminiscent letter had such a different feel to it, so much changing for him in that year. Her eyes kept drifting to that closing.

It took a few moments before she was able to refold that bundle and open the next.

His next year in the First; this one another detailed description of events he survived, and quite a lot about Ryne, still only known as Minfilia at the time.

...I actually began this letter yesterday, as we rested in a small inn at the edge of the Greatwood. I thought of seeking out Y’shtola, but am unfamiliar with those dark and twisting paths, and was low on ammunition. Minfilia was exhausted, unable to fight or imbue cartridges, and I won’t risk her more than our constant travels already do.

It was she who reminded me that I had been writing, before she made me take my rest as well. I’ve never told her about these letters, but she’s a bright girl and I have told her of you. Sometimes it’s simply because she is curious about you, and the hope that you’ll come here and save yourself, as well as the rest of us. Many times though I don’t mean to say anything, but the stories simply come, like a slumbering spring awoken by new rains, bubbling up and overflowing the riverbanks.

It’s something about her, I suppose, that makes me remember, and so I must speak before the memories fade back into the dustier corridors of my mind. Perhaps an effect of her unique Blessing? Or perhaps simply her childish curiosity drawing it out of me.

There’s a selfish part of me that wants you to meet her. It would mean that you’re here, for one, but also I think you two would get along. She’s a good girl--with her moments of petulance and stubbornness, as many youths are wont, but she’s come such a long way already, has learned so quickly.

I fear influencing her. The choice she must make is so important, and it must be hers. You would be a much better role model; you inspire others to do what’s best simply by your presence. I’ve felt the lack of you more keenly this last year than ever before...

Aeryn read through, noting he wrote it more like a conversation she had yet to answer. Memories of their adventures and companionship were woven through the words more naturally as he spoke to her. She smiled as he spent a good chunk of the letter not even realizing how he had gushed about Ryne and all she had learned and how she had grown in that first year they spent together, as if he were trying to ensure Aeryn would love the child as much as he so obviously did--even if the foolish man hadn’t been able to tell the girl so until it had almost been too late.

But then, that was Thancred; locking his thoughts and feelings behind stoicism, snark, and literally in a box on a shelf.

She traced her nail along the letters of his name--again signed “Yours”--before tucking that bundle away and picking up the fourth.

By this time the twins were somewhere in Norvrandt, though Thancred had no opportunity to see them as Eulmore’s hunters were ever close. He wrote to Aeryn of his frustration with how many Scions had come to the First but she was still so far away and still in so much danger, alongside the rest of the Source and this shard itself. If she couldn’t come to Norvrandt to break the Light’s hold over the realm then the girl would have to make her choice sooner rather than later--and perhaps face the same fate as all of her predecessors.

He admitted that he feared both of those outcomes. He seemed to have begun to cross out that line, but had stopped himself.

...A nasty part of me believes you will never receive these nameday letters. That these are simply my way of remembering yet another important woman in my life I will never see again. I try not to dwell on such thoughts, try to keep busy, but you know me. Perhaps better than anyone since our Minfilia. How I wish I could speak with you again; patrolling through Mor Dhona, lunch at Rowena’s cafe, stargazing on the roofs of Ala Mhigo, reading in the Waking Sands’ dusty library. Simply holding you until we fall asleep, those few, rare moments we had. You always made me say more than I ever meant to; you’ve a way of drawing me out despite myself—and failing that, of simply being there as a brilliant, warm presence.

There are places here I want to show you, things I want to share. Yet I fear your coming, what it will mean. What changes I’ve experienced. What we had was...comfortable, and felt right, after so long, and yet it was still so new and fragile. I used to be confident in my ability to be delicate, but these last few years with this girl have made me feel boorish and clumsy. And I know I have changed, not just because of her, but everything in this hard world. Will you recognize me when we meet? Will you still want me, when you were already so uncertain before?

I suppose I shan’t know until you’re here, or we find a way home. Given the Exarch’s record, the former seems more likely. And it still worries me, much as I know it’s the better course to preserve all we hold dear...

Aeryn stared out the window for a long moment; she had known of his doubts, his fears; when she had arrived and finally found him again, it had been difficult. Yet despite everything, they had gotten past it.

She eyed the final bundle, slimmer than the rest, those dates seeming so heavy though she had no conscious recollection of them, given her state at the time. Having finished the tea, she poured a glass of water and began to read.

Aeryn,

Ryne assures us you will still be Aeryn when you wake; her wards hold for now. I pray long enough to find a cure for what those bastards did to you. What we did to you, unknowing. Will you be pleased to know I have not struck Urianger for his part? I was too tired and injured as we returned, and occupied with carrying you besides. Now I simply am too weary in heart and mind to conjure that initial anger, and he has had time to explain how the Exarch coerced him into his confidence.

I am still not happy about it.

For five years I waited to see you again, thought about you through many days and most nights--such as they are, here. It’s funny what one can become accustomed to in time. Finally seeing you again was a jolt to every one of my senses as the missing you had long since become more real to me, much as I longed for your presence.

And as I feared, you hesitated. I don’t blame you; I know this place changed me. What we had back home was still so new, despite the prior years we had known each other. So I tried to be content to merely be in your company once more. We had rebuilt our friendship once, we could do it again. I had been a fool to think I deserved more.

Then you sought me out in Rak’tika. Do I need to tell you how you intoxicated me that day? I hope I was a comfort, both in words and in the release you needed. The distance still felt too great, but this much, at least, I could give. I thought it would be enough, to simply be what you needed in the moment.

I know now that I was once again fooling myself.

These last few months traveling and fighting and just being together have been a strange mix of stress and relief; our mission had been dangerous and difficult in so many ways, and yet working together, it was hard not to get caught up in the optimism, in the feeling that things would turn out, that we would find a way.

And you were here; your quizzical headtilts, your faces when you read, the white flowers in your hair. Your silences, your laughter, your strength in combat and your helping with every common chore in the vicinity. I thought I could simply be happy to bask in your steady light.

But now, seeing it tear you apart, it is not enough; it never was, and never will be. I can live with it, should that be your wish. My wish, however, is to continue what we had once begun. To hold you close not only occasionally but always.

Aeryn felt a hard lump in her throat; there was a decent space between the lines, the ink thick where he had hesitated, the initial letters shaky. Still he had written them:

I am in love with you, Aeryn.

It’s taken me time to collect myself after rereading what I just wrote and fighting the urge to burn the whole page. A part of me fears that you will scoff, though the greater part of me knows--hopes--better of you.

And the gods know you deserve better than me, but if you’ll have me, I certainly won’t complain.

I know after everything with Ryne I ought to say it to you aloud. That it may already be too late to do so. I pray that isn’t the case. I pray I find the courage and the words both to say what you deserve to hear. Even should you never reciprocate; if that should be the case, you shall never hear another whisper from me on the matter.

But I hold out a small hope, that you will, that you do. That we will have the chance to discuss the matter further. That you survive.

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I only know I’ll be at your side until the end; there’s nowhere else I can be.

Ryne is calling; hold on just a little while longer, darling.

Yours always, Thancred.

She covered her face with her hands, emotions and memories flooding over her. There were words before finally confronting Emet-Selch in his memory of Amaurot. More than words on returning to the Crystarium, bodies twined together in relief and comfort.

Then she had returned to the Source to report their success. She came back to the First as quickly as she could, though; not only was there still much work to do, but he was here, and things were...not exactly different, but not quite the same, either.

As she reread the last page, she noticed a swiftly written addendum on the back. She turned it over.

I carried these letters all the way to the Tempest, thinking if I failed to say anything I might at least give them to you--they are yours, after all. But of course no time seemed right, and with a screwing of my courage (and pointed prodding from Urianger), at the last I was able to say what I wished. Miraculously, you said it too.

And now here we are, you peacefully asleep while the night sky wheels overhead and I still hear the celebrations outside despite the ungodly hour. I’ll rejoin you in a moment, but I needed some time to attempt to process the last few days. What happened in the Tempest. The fact you’re alive, and healthy, and claim to love me in return.

I’m not entirely certain why, but I won’t complain, either.

Rereading these letters, I’m not sure I’m quite ready to hand them over yet. They’ll return to their box for now, and perhaps in a few days I’ll be ready to show you.

Aeryn laughed lightly; of course he had hesitated to share them. The letters showed all his vulnerabilities behind the serious, confident facade he had developed. And with everything in the Empty, and then Elidibus, it was no wonder the letters had fallen to the wayside.

Until her actual nameday on the Source had come around, his note delivered with her breakfast by Tataru per Thancred’s instructions while he was on his latest reconnaissance. It wasn’t as if he could have brought the letters with him, after all--nor given them to her in front of the rest of the Scions in the Ocular, nevermind how public their relationship was now.

She rubbed her face--she had cried more than a few times while reading--and replaced the letters in the box. She locked it, and pocketed the key.

The girls were still out so it was no trouble to take the tea service to the sink and clean it, along with the other dishes, giving her time and activity to settle. She finished by washing her own face, removing some evidence of her emotion.

Since the first year she had joined the Scions, they had given each other gifts; she had discovered his nameday from Minfilia, gifting him the orchestrion roll of a song she knew he liked from a favorite minstrel. Her own first nameday as a Scion had been missed due to Lahabrea and Baelsar’s schemes, but Thancred was certain to make up for it. Sometimes they were late, or even early, but they always managed a little something, even as friends.

Aeryn took the box with her as she left Ryne’s apartment. She still had a few people to see while here on the First--starting with Lyna and the messages from G’raha--but then she would retire to her own suite in the Pendants and do a bit of rereading.

And maybe a bit more once she returned home, too; after all, if she timed it right, it would still be her nameday, and the best time to reread her present.

#Final Fantasy XIV #Lyn Writing #Shadowbringers #Thancred Waters #Thancred x WoL #Shippy Nonsense #Aeryn Striker #Pining

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nickydestati · 4 years ago

Text

duolingo tog prompts #7

this was taken from the story module ‘saturday night’ and i got really carried away so it is a solid 1.8k, you have been warned

prompt: saturday night (sabato sera)

***

joe’s heart never fails to go batshit insane as soon as he lays eyes on nicky. you would think that after three years of friendship and one year of seeing each other almost every day, one would get used to the sight of another person, of a friend. turns out that isn’t necessarily the case.

but it’s this ridiculously exaggerated reaction of his heart that tells him nicky isn’t only a friend. or that he at least wishes he isn’t. of course, nile is very ardent about pointing it out to him whenever the occasion arises as well.

it seems nile and his heart have finally gotten through to him, though, because when he walks past one of the posters for a concert that litter the campus walls lately, he stops and reads it. it’s a stylish poster, simple and elegant, the work of someone who knows what they’re doing. a white double-sided axe stands against a black background, beneath it is written: ‘the old guard’ along with the venue, date and other details. he remembers nile saying something about it being a perfect date opportunity.

joe takes a picture and when he gets back to his dorm room, he buys two tickets before he can change his mind. it’s only when he has the order confirmation that he thinks he maybe should’ve checked if the band is any good. he shrugs, even if it happens to be the worst band in existence, at least they’ll have something to laugh about afterwards.

he meets nicky the next day for lunch, like they meet every day, and his heart practically leaps out of his chest when nicky smiles and waves at him. they talk about classes and work while they eat. or rather, nicky talks and joe nervously picks at his food thinking he should ask now. no, now. come on, now. why is it so hard? he has asked nicky to go do something a thousand times before.

“-and then the raccoon jumped through the window in a superhero costume and ate my assignment.”

joe looks up with a frown. “raccoon?”

nicky snorts. “there you are. what’s on your mind?”

joe looks away, pursing his lips. okay, now. “a date.”

nicky’s fork falls in his plate and he fumbles to pick it up again, not meeting joe’s eyes. “a date?” he clears his throat. “i didn’t know you had a date.”

“well no, not yet. i mean a date as in a… as in a you-and-me-date.” what is happening to him? usually he’s so good with words.

nicky looks at him in confusion. “a you-and-me-hang-out-as-we-always-do-date?”

“no,” joe says slowly, really wishing the firealarm would go off or something so they could both flee for their lives. “kind of a you-and-me-date-date. there’s a band playing this saturday and i thought it might be, you know, fun to go,” he quickly continues before nicky can speak. “they’re called the old guard and i’ve already bought tickets so it would be kind of a shame to waste them.”

“this saturday? i’m afraid i already have plans, i’m so sorry.”

“oh,” joe says very eloquently. “oh, yeah, no sure.”

“i planned on working for my thesis this weekend,” nicky explains with a very apologetic look on his face that makes it somehow even worse. “i’m behind on my schedule, you know.”

“no of course, that’s alright. school’s more important.” joe stuffs rice in his mouth so the disappointment won’t show on his face. nicky could’ve just told him he didn’t want to go on a date with him, they’ve always been honest with each other. and joe had really thought... hoped... stupid, stupid.

“i’m sorry, i gotta go to class now. see you tomorrow?” nicky is already getting up. probably desperate to get away.

joe squeezes out a smile. it hurts his cheeks. “see you tomorrow.”

“i’ve heard they’re really good, thanks for taking me,” nile says excitedly as they enter the venue. it’s already pretty crowded so they stand almost all the way to the back.

“of course,” joe says.

nile must’ve noticed the lingering sadness in his voice, though, because she says, “hey, i’m sure he really had planned to work on his thesis. you know how he gets when a deadline is drawing near.”

“yeah, you’re probably right,” joe says with a shrug and tries to forget the fact he has barely seen nicky since their fatal lunch.

they talk of other things until the lights in the audience dim and the spots on stage turn on. the crowd cheers wildly as the band members enter the stage, and joe is surprised to discover they are friends of his. andy takes place behind the drum, quynh picks up a shining red guitar and booker a dark green bass guitar.

“hm, i didn’t know they had a band,” he mutters to nile. though he faintly recalls them talking about rehearsals.

then the singer comes on stage and joe’s heart stops working altogether. he’s standing a far way off, but he would recognise those broad shoulders anywhere, that step as he walks to the mic, that brown hair.

“is that nicky?” he yells over the crowd and turns to nile to find her actually laughing. “you knew?”

nile has a mischievous and very pleased twinkle in her eyes. “i designed their poster.”

joe wants to ask more but andy ticks off and the band starts playing. and when nicky starts singing joe forgets every language in existence and his poor, just revived heart goes right back into cardiac arrest. he knows nicky can sing, from secretly overhearing him humming to himself as he cleans or cooks, sometimes even coaxing a chorus from him when he plays one of nicky’s favourite songs on the piano, but he never knew he could sing like that. his voice is rougher than joe expected, and so full of conviction and emotion.

“this can’t be true,” he mutters to himself after listening absolutely paralysed to several songs. he starts elbowing his way to the front of the crowd, barely noticing nile hastily following him.

somehow, he manages to reach the edge of the stage and stands there like a still statue in the sea of dancing bodies. they are throwing him strange looks, but he has only eye for one person. nicky, singing his soul out on stage with closed eyes and furrowed brow, moving along with the music and andy’s steady beat. he looks more handsome than joe has ever seen him, with his earrings and his hair falling in his eyes and is that eyeliner he’s wearing?

then nicky opens his eyes, and they immediately find joe, as if he knew he’s standing right there. and he smiles. the bastard smiles at joe. and god, if joe didn’t already know he was hopelessly in love with nicky, then he surely does now.

the music falls back into something calmer, and quynh trades her electric guitar for an acoustic one. nicky’s voice is so heartfelt and vulnerable, joe closes his eyes for a moment, absentmindedly swaying to the melody.

halfway through the song, nicky steps away from the mic stand.

“and if you’d ask me to

I’d spend all my eternities with you”

as he sings this, he kneels right in front of joe and reaches out his hand. and joe stares at it and up at nicky’s eyes and back again as if he’s never seen a hand before. nile elbows him softly in the side and nicky smiles encouragingly at him as he repeats the verses. joe’s hand is trembling as he takes nicky’s, and he blinks to try and clear his suddenly blurred vision. he barely registers the crowd’s cheers as their hands meet, his whole world narrows down to their touch and the man singing before him. for him.

in the guitar solo that follows, nicky leans forward and presses his lips to the back of joe’s hand and all joe can do is hold on for dear life and smile and laugh through escaping tears. after a last squeeze, nicky releases him with a smile. and in the smile, joe catches a glimpse of the quiet and shy man nicky is behind the stage, the nicky he knows so well and has come to love with all his heart.

the rest of the concert goes by in a blissful haze with dancing and singing and yelling at the top of his lungs.

afterwards, nicky finds joe and nile in the bar of the venue. he’s back in his usual simple shirt and jeans outfit and has removed the eyeliner. by the timid way he approaches, nobody would ever guess what a performance he gave mere moments ago.

“i’ll go get some new drinks,” nile says and slips away, smiling and complimenting nicky on her way.

nicky and joe stand in awkward silence for a minute, nicky shifting on his feet, barely daring to meet joe’s eyes and joe observing him with a soft smile.

“working on your thesis, huh?”

nicky chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck.

“why didn’t you just tell me?” joe continues.

nicky swallows. “i think i was scared. of what you would think and that you wouldn’t like it. and i’m not that good of a singer so i was-”

“please tell me you don’t honestly think that,” joe interrupts and takes a step closer. “you were fantastic up there, nicky, absolutely phenomenal.”

nicky glances at joe with that slight smile of his that makes joe’s heart skip a beat every time.

“thank you,” nicky says. “but i’m really sorry, i should have told you. when you asked me to go out, i panicked completely and made such a fool of myself.”

the most endearing embarrassed smile crosses his lips as he rubs his cheek with his hand, so you really can’t blame joe that he takes another step closer and takes that hand in his, bringing it to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to the knuckles.

nicky stares at him with wide eyes.

“so does that mean you do want to go out with me?” joe asks, playfully raising one eyebrow.

and the smile that breaks out on nicky’s face is more brilliant than all the spotlights centered on him this evening combined. “yes,” he says, “i would want nothing more.”

what joe wants nothing more is to kiss nicky right then and there, and he probably would have, if nile and the rest of the old guard didn’t appear behind nicky.

“thank god, he knows,” andy says, clapping nicky on the back. “can we now finally ask him to be our pianist?”

#duolingo prompts #joe x nicky #immortal husbands #kaysanova #the old guard #the old guard fanifc #modern au #band au

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btschooseafic · 3 years ago

Text

Hey you, what’s your dream?

Pairing: platonic!oc x ot7

Details: manager!oc, predebut/idolverse, partial BTS World!verse

Summary: Jimin does his best to get abs worth showing off.

Warnings: This is a fictional story based on real events. The characters presented here are not the same as their real life counterparts. (TW: eating disordered behavior/body image issues/perfectionism) [Masterlist]

Track 13: Jimin’s diet

Body Terror Song-AJJ

“I'm very sorry that you have to have a body

One that will hurt you and be the subject of so much of your fear”

Aviva had somewhat been avoiding Jin since their last conversation—which was difficult, as she was his manager, and they were smack-dab in the middle of a busy training schedule.

Hoseok was currently working with the choreographers to put together a routine to go with their debut song. Aviva hadn’t come to every rehearsal like she used to, busy talking to booking agents, and besides that, not having much (any) experience to do with dancing. Still Hoseok was a friend, and an important group member, so when he asked her to come see what they were working on and give him some feedback, she came.

“This part is on the offbeat, then you turn,” Hoseok explained, demonstrating the move for the other boys. “So, you want to take it from the top?”

Aviva applauded as she entered. “As expected from our dance captain!” She grinned at him, never unimpressed with Hobi’s dance skills. He smiled back at her.

“Don’t overdo it, Avi-yah, his head is big enough already,” Namjoon warned.

“Go hydrate while you have the chance!” Hoseok ordered, pointing off to the side where there was a line of water bottles along the floor. Jimin was already sitting, drinking and stretching. The others moved over to him, chatting as Hoseok sighed.

“What’s wrong, Hobi?” Aviva wondered. Hoseok shrugged.

“It’s going pretty well for our first run, but… there’s just one problem. I can’t help but feel like something’s missing…” He tapped his chin, looking frustrated. “What do you think, Avi?”

Aviva grimaced. “Sorry, I think I’m pretty useless in this situation. I’ve told you before, I don’t know much about dance routines—”

“Yah! Don’t put yourself down like that,” Hoseok said. “You might not be a dancer, but I’ve seen you speaking to the choreographers, watching videos, attending practices and taking notes. You’re our manager, and you’re our friend, your opinion is worth something.”

“Okay…” Sometimes Hoseok made her feel like crying with his emotional words. Half the time she was pretty sure he was doing it on purpose.

After watching the routine, Aviva spoke to Hoseok off to the side again.

“Yeah, I kind of get what you mean. It’s a pretty solid routine, but there’s no…” She made a like explosion movement with her hands. “No spice to make it stand out.”

Hoseok laughed, copying her movement. “Spice! You’re adorable, Aviva.”

“Shut up,” she muttered, feeling her face get hot.

“You know… I think you might have given me an idea though,” he said, leaning down to whisper it in her ear. Her eyes widened.

“Well that’s… daring.”

“Right?” He grinned widely.

“And, I guess, from a numbers standpoint, that would fit our projected demographic well.”

“You mean we’re hot so teenage girls are gonna be into it,” Hoseok translated.

“Teenage girls are one of the most powerful forces I know of,” Aviva said seriously.

“Hey, I’m not gonna argue with that.” Hoseok nodded. “I grew up with an older sister and five girl cousins around my age, and they saved my ass several times in our teenaged years.” He paused. “Come to think of it, they were the reason I got into trouble in the first place, half of the time, but eh, at least they cleaned up after themselves. Anyway…” He cupped his hands over his mouth. “Okay, boys, I have an important announcement to make as your choreographer!” The boys gathered around. “We have a signature dance move for our debut song! It’s… drum roll, please.” Yoongi slapped at Jin’s arm, creating a staccato beat. Jin winced and pouted at him. Hoseok laughed. “The ab reveal! We’re gonna pull up our shirts in the middle of the routine and show them off!”

Namjoon’s eyes widened.

“Are you sure? Pulling up our shirts? That seems… over the top.”

“The top over your head?” Aviva suggested, grinning. Everyone blinked at her. Aviva tilted her head. “Ah, that doesn’t work as well in Korean…”

Namjoon repeated it slowly to himself in English and then rolled his eyes.

“Ah, who are you, Jin-hyung?”

“She’s not as handsome,” Jin said immediately. Then he shrunk back as she looked at him. “Sorry…”

“Joon’s right though, we don’t want to overwhelm our audience,” Hoseok said thoughtfully. “So let’s just have one person do it! More of an impact!” He pointed excitedly at Jimin.

“Why… why are you looking at me…?”

“We’re counting on you, Jimin-ah! The success of our debut song is riding on your abs!” Namjoon said, clapping him on the shoulder and then speeding out of the room, the other boys following suit, as if afraid Hoseok might change his mind and make them all do it again. Aviva frowned.

“You okay, Jiminie? If it’s too much pressure, Hoseok can think of something else.”

Hoseok frowned. “What? I like this idea,” he grumbled. She elbowed him. “Yeah, sure, fine. Leave to me, manager.”

“No, it’s fine,” Jimin said, his smile a lot weaker than his usual shining grin. “I’ll do it. Don’t worry about me, manager-noona.” He left the room quickly. Aviva let out a breath.

“You guys better not pressure him too much. Honestly, it’s like we’ve learned nothing from that whole thing with Kookie…”

Over the next few days, Aviva kept an eye out for Jimin. She made a worrying observation that he didn’t appear to be eating, turning down even Jin’s home cooked meals in favor of diet shakes.

So Aviva sucked up her pride and asked Jin and Taehyung for help.

“I’ve heard it’s unfortunately pretty common in the idol industry, but has Jimin-ah done anything like this before?” Aviva asked Tae as they gathered in her kitchen early in the morning.

Taehyung had been excited to be invited to her apartment, but now seemed nervous. “Ah, noona, you know, I’m not really sure it’s my place to talk about that.”

“Right…” Aviva let out a breath. “Right, that’s true. I should just talk to him about it directly, but I was worried he was going to get embarrassed and not want to talk…”

“That’s a possibility,” Taehyung agreed.

“So, I thought I’d carry out Plan B at the same time as Plan A,” she told him.

“Is that where I come in?” Jin wondered, pointing at himself. Aviva nodded.

“I wanted to ask for your help making a lunchbox for Jimin-ah.”

“A lunchbox!” Taehyung clapped his hands together excitedly.

Jin smiled. “That’s a lovely idea.”

“If you’re comfortable telling me some of his favorite foods, and we can try to keep it as healthy as possible as well,” Aviva thought.

“Right!” Taehyung nodded, his expression turning serious. “I will make a list.”

“I’ll think of some healthy recipes,” Jin added. Aviva smiled.

“Thank you both.”

“Ah, there is something I wanted to talk to you about, Aviva-yah, if you don’t mind,” Jin said. She looked at him, curious. He cleared his throat. “In private, maybe?” Taehyung glanced at him, looking slightly suspicious. Aviva considered for a moment, and then pulled out her wallet.

“This is the company card,” she told Taehyung, giving it to him. “Why don’t you buy some ingredients for us to work with?”

“Yes!” Taehyung flashed his typical victory sign. “Grocery store, here I come!” He rushed out the door.

“Don’t forget your coat… ah, too late.” Aviva shook her head. “That boy.” She turned, seeing Jin smiling at her. “What?”

“Ah, no, I just thought, for all their flirting, mostly you just seem like their mom.”

She blinked. “Really? I thought that was Namjoon-ah, or you, maybe.”

“Me?” Jin tilted his head. “Well, I guess we can all share the burden. It takes a village to raise a child, right?”

“What did you want to talk to me about?” She cut to the chase.

“I wanted to apologize, again, for overstepping, when I was drunk,” he said. She frowned. “I wouldn’t bring it up again, but I know you’ve been avoiding me, so I realized it must have really hurt your feelings.” She ran her hand through her hair.

“I don’t know… It, that wasn’t very professional of me, oppa, sorry.”

“I accept the apology from you as a manager, but from you as a friend… it’s unnecessary. In the matter of friendship, I was in the wrong.”

“You didn’t hurt my feelings,” she said. “You just brought up something… something I’m not ready to think about, and I was worried you might bring it up again if we talked one-on-one.”

“Ah, well, I guess I almost have done that?” Jin smiled sheepishly at her. “I’ll do my best to avoid it from now on.”

“…Okay,” she said. “But, maybe… some day, if I ever feel like I’m ready to talk about it, would you… would you listen to me? Even if it doesn’t make very much sense.”

“Of course,” Jin said, taking her hands in his and squeezing them lightly before letting go. “Now! Please tell me you have a spare apron, because I am too handsome in this shirt to get it messy.”

She snorted. “Ah, yeah, there’s the one I bought for Soonie as a gag gift.” She pulled the frilly pink apron out of a closet and handed it to him.

“Hmmm…” He was blushing slightly.

“Oppa?” She gave him a weird look.

“Ah, it’s nothing. I just thought… she’d probably look cute in this.”

Aviva nodded. “Of course. She looks cute in everything.”

Jin laughed. “Hmm.”

Later that day, Aviva headed to the studio. She could hear Jimin working on his moves in the room down the hall. Then she heard a loud slam and ran forward to find Jimin collapsed on the ground.

“Jimin!” She quickly moved over to him, pulling his head onto his lap. He groaned.

“Ah!” He put a hand on his head, wincing. She ran her fingers through his hair gently, trying to see if she could feel any bumps or cuts. Jimin made a happy little noise, closing his eyes for a moment before jerking out of her arms. “Manager-noona!” He sat up, scouting away from her. “I’m alright. I just got a bit dizzy and it made me mess up the step.”

“Jimin-ah,” she said, trying to catch his eye, though he appeared to be avoiding her gaze. “I know this can be a sensitive topic for some people, but have you eaten today?”

“Hmm, that’s right, it’s about lunch time. Do you think you can hand me my bag? There’s a shake in there.”

“Jimin-ah,” she said again, taking his hands in hers. They were shaking. “I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine!” Jimin said, his cheerful tone a little forced to her ears. “This diet is really working! I’m starting to get abs! Wanna see?” He started pulling up his shirt. “Here—”

“Yah, pabo!” Taehyung appeared in the doorway.

“Ah.” Aviva smiled slightly. “I thought you might have followed me here.”

“Tae?” Jimin frowned at him. “Who’re you calling pabo?”

“You!” Taehyung said. “I saw you fall over.” Jimin’s face flushed. Tae looked at Aviva.

“Show him what we made for him.”

Jimin looked at Aviva. She opened her bag and held out the lunchbox to him.

“Tae helped make this?” Jimin said doubtfully. “Tae Tae, you know I appreciate your cooking, but—”

“Don’t worry, Jin-hyung and Avi-noona did all of the cooking, I just helped pick out the ingredients,” Taehyung told him. “I know I’m not a very good cook.”

He wilted a little.

“I still appreciated the thought,” Jimin said quietly. “When you’ve tried making food for me in the past…”

“Yeah, but I don’t think Avi-noona appreciated when I set her smoke alarm off,” Tae thought. Jimin squinted at him.

“Tae, you bad boy—”

“It wasn’t too bad,” Aviva interrupted, waving her hands. “Everyone’s safe, so that’s all that matter—”

“You went to noona’s apartment without me?” Jimin pouted at him. Aviva blinked.

“What? That’s what you…?” She sighed.

“Yeah, so? You get to eat her home cooked meal,” Taehyung pointed out. “So you’d better appreciate it.”

“I will.” Jimin turned to her. “I do.”

“Say that after you eat it, maybe?” She suggested.

“Anyway, Jin-hyung was there the whole time, so it’s not like anything could’ve happened,” Taehyung muttered. Jimin grinned, opening the box.

“Yeah, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” Aviva said.

“It looks really good,” Jimin said, staring at the food. “But, my diet…”

“Noona and Jin-hyung specially picked the recipes so that the food was healthy, particularly for a dancer,” Taehyung told him. “Noona printed out scientific articles like she was possessed by Namjoon-hyung or something.”

Jimin snickered, and then his face turned serious.

“You did all that for me?” He asked Aviva. She nodded. “But, I’m trying to help too. I’m trying to be the best I can be, for this group. That’s why everything’s got to be perfect… When it’s perfect, I’ll feel better.”

Aviva sighed, pulling her knees up to her chest, and resting her chin there, staring at her feet. “You sound like Jungkookie, or my sister, or me…” She looked up again, finally catching Jimin’s gaze. “But let me tell you a secret, Jimin-ah. You’re never going to be perfect. There will always be another loose thread you can pick at. If you keep doing that, whatever it is you want to do, will never get done. Sometimes the best you can do, is the best you can do at that moment. Maybe one day you will be better, but that kind of change can’t happen instantaneously.” She smiled. “But what am I telling you that for? You know. You’re one of the hardest working people I know, Jiminie.” Jimin rubbed at his face and then took a deep breath.

“Don’t you make me cry!” He warned her.

“It’s okay if you cry,” Taehyung said. “I’ll hold you if you do.” Jimin made a face.

“…Only if Avi-noona joins.”

“…How about a pat on the head?” She offered instead.

Jimin ate half the lunch, slowly. He apologized for not finishing it all, but Aviva assured him that was okay. He hadn’t been eating, so eating quickly all of a sudden could make him sick.

She and Taehyung stuck around for the rest of Jimin’s practice, Tae doing his best to follow along, Aviva even joining along for a couple moves, making them all laugh as she growled with frustration at not being able to follow the choreography.

“Rome wasn’t built in a day, manager,” Jimin teased her.

“Oh, I know,” she grumbled. “But I would’ve probably died trying.”

“Ah.” Jimin nodded. “I can understand that.”

“Live instead,” Tae suggested, slinging his arms around their shoulders. “It’s more fun to hang out all together. I’ll get lonely alone.”

“Okay, but get off of me,” Jimin said, shoving him. “You’re sweaty.”

“We all are,” Aviva said, wrinkling her nose as she looked down at her business clothes. “Hobi’s gonna yell at me for wrinkling my clothes again.”

Jimin snickered. “Oh yeah, hyung does that to me all the time! You’ve just got to change quickly and hide the clothes before he sees them.”

“Yeah, but I was going to drive you back, so he’ll see me,” Aviva thought, chewing at her lip. Jimin smiled slyly.

“We could stop by your place first, and could can change.”

“Ooh, can we borrow your shower?” Taehyung asked, his smile matching Jimin’s.

Aviva sighed. “Boys, I really don’t think it’s your intention to make me feel unsafe in my own home, hmm?”

They both blinked, and then exchanged a guilty look.

“Not at all!” They said in unison.

“Sorry.” Tae bowed slightly. “I know I’ve been teasing you a bit too much lately. I got overexcited because your reactions are amusing and I enjoy learning new things about you.”

“Alright, alright,” Aviva said. “Just get in the car.” She drove them back to the dorm.

“You practice this late every night?” Taehyung asked, looking up at the dark sky as they moved down the path towards the dorm. “Alone? Amazing!”

Aviva frowned. “Jiminie... are you sleeping enough?”

“I’m fine!” He said. “I’m not tired!”

“That’s not what I—“

“I’ve got to make sacrifices for my abs,” Jimin interrupted.

Taehyung poked at his own stomach.

“Hmmm. I’ll just hope for them in the next life.”

Aviva touched her stomach. “A healthy body looks different for everyone,” she said quietly. Taehyung and Jimin exchanged a thoughtful look.

“I know I said I’d stop teasing, but you do have a nice body, manager-noona,” Tae commented. Jimin shoved him.

“Tae! You can’t just say things like that!”

“What? She’s soft and nice to touch.”

“That’s worse!”

Aviva sighed, rubbing her temples. “Taehyung-ah, I think maybe you mean well, but you’re giving me a headache. Jimin-ah’s right, it’s not appropriate to say things like that.”

Jimin shot Tae a pointed look. “Okay, okay.” Taehyung waved his hand. “I’ll retract my statement.” He made a weird swooping movement as if swallowing back his words. She snorted. He smiled slightly. “There now… don’t be sad, manager. You and Jiminie can both have abs if you really want, but do it in a healthy way, please.”

Jimin blinked. “Tae, you—” He squeaked. “What the fuck was that?”

“Huh?” Tae looked around.

“I just saw someone sneak out of the dorm!” Jimin said, pointing at a far off darting shadow. Aviva squinted.

“It’s too dark, and my eyesight isn’t good enough to see who it is. Maybe it’s just Hoseok sneaking out to party. I know he did that sometimes in the early days of training.”

“Did he?” Jimin’s lips twitched. “Sounds fun.”

When they got inside, Yoongi was sitting on the couch working at his laptop.

He looked up when they entered.

“You’re back late.” He crossed his arms over his chest, giving them a pointed look. “Just what will I tell your mother?” Taehyung laughed as Jimin rolled his eyes.

“….Jin-oppa is the mom?” Aviva guessed.

“Of course.” Yoongi grinned.

Aviva looked around. “Joon isn’t up working with you tonight?”

Yoongi shook his head. “Everyone else is asleep.”

“Alright, boys. Get some sleep. I’ll be back in…” She glanced at her watch and groaned. “We’ve only got a few hours. By the time I drive back home and then I have to clean up, and then go to sleep and then wake up and come back here and—”

Jimin held his finger in front of her mouth.

“Why don’t you stay over?” He suggested. “I promise Tae and I will behave.”

“I will,” Tae seconded. “I don’t want you driving while you’re so tired, noona.”

Her brow furrowed. “Well, I guess you’ve got a point…”

Tae smiled. “Yay! Where are you going to sleep? Cause I like to snuggle—“

“Nope!” Jimin said, slapping him over the back of the head. “You literally just promised you’d behave.” Taehyung whined as Jimin pulled him out of the room. “Let’s go take a shower before bed.”

“Are they showering together?” Aviva wondered. Yoongi shrugged.

“Saves time.”

“…South Korea is surprisingly open-minded about some things,” Aviva thought.

“Maybe,” Yoongi said. “Or maybe it’s just us. Anyway, I’m going to be working for a while longer, so you can use my bed if you want. No cuddling with hormonal teenagers necessary.”

“Cuddling aside, I don’t particularly want to be sleeping in a room with six to seven boys,” she told him. He nodded.

“That’s fair. Neither do I.”

“... Sorry I haven’t found a bigger place for you guys.”

He sighed, brushing his bangs away from his face. “That’s not what I meant, Aviva-yah.”

“Okay...” She chewed at her lip. “Can’t I just sleep out here?” She pointed at the couch.

“You don’t mind me working?” He wondered. She shook her head.

“You don’t mind me snoring?”

He laughed. “I’m used to Joon-ah and Jiminie already.” He stood up, stretching. “I should get you a blanket or something—and do you need something to sleep in?” She hesitated, and then nodded. “You’d better come into the room with me, so you can tell me what’s okay.”

She frowned. “Won’t I wake them?”

He shook his head. “They’ll be dead to the world at this point.”

They walked into the bedroom. Yoongi walked over to the dresser, searching through a drawer. Aviva glanced around at the sleeping boys. Hoseok had his hand on his stomach. Jin was surrounded by a sea of stuffed animals. Jungkook was wrapped in his blankets like a caterpillar. She glanced up at Namjoon, who was sleeping with his laptop open on his chest. She hesitated and then climbed up the ladder, taking the laptop from him. He grunted and rolled over, continuing to snore. Aviva started climbing down the ladder, but fumbled while trying to hold the laptop steady.

She half fell on top of Yoongi.

He sighed, his breath in her ear.

“You’re just as bad as Namjoon-ah, honestly.” He steadied her on her feet and stepped away, shaking his head.

“…Thanks.” She placed Namjoon’s laptop on top of the dresser, careful not to disturb any of Hoseok’s figurines.

“Would these work?” Yoongi held up a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt.

She chewed her lip. “The shorts are fine, but the shirt would be a little… tight.”

“I figured.” He glanced her over and then looked away. “Namjoon-ah’s shirts are the biggest, but I can’t tell what of his is clean.”

“It’s fine,” she said. “I can just sleep in my undershirt.”

“…Alright. And there’s an extra blanket in the closet.” He smirked. “I’m not sure you’re tall enough to reach it.” She rolled her eyes.

“You’re barely taller than me.”

“Still counts!”

“You keep telling yourself that,” Jimin said, walking in with a towel wrapped around his waist. He glanced at Aviva and then quickly avoided eye contact, his face turning pink. “Ah… a little privacy please, noona?”

“Of course!” Aviva zipped out of the room, past an equally shirtless Taehyung, who just gave her his patented blank faced look. Yoongi followed her at a slower pace. He walked over to the closet and opened it. Aviva walked up to him. “Are there clean towels in there? I’m thinking maybe I should take a shower too. I tried to dance, so I’m all gross.”

Yoongi glanced her over again.“You look… fine, but I understand the feeling.” He handed her a blue towel with a yellow duck on it. “I haven’t used this since I last washed it, so it’s clean.”

She stared at it. “This is yours?”

“Yeah.” He shot her a challenging look. “So?”

She just grinned. “So, you’re cute.”

“Just… just go shower,” he said, his face flushing. “Go shower and then get some sleep before you have to start your day.”

Aviva felt much better after showering. She could use Hobi’s iron in the morning on her button up, and trousers, she thought it had some kind of gentle clean setting on it. She came back into the living room, wearing her camisole and Yoongi’s shorts, which were a bit tight on her, but not too much so.

Yoongi glanced up at her when she walked in. He froze. She sniffed, glancing at the mug in his hand. “Coffee? Are you not even trying to sleep?”

“I have to finish this, but you…” He frowned. “You’re the one who’s cute…”

She blinked at him. “What?”

“Too cute.” He suddenly pulled off his hoodie and held it out to her. “Wear that and cover up before the maknae line rushes over here drooling.”

“Stop being gross,” she said, pulling the sweater over her head anyway. It was warm. The fabric was worn, but not overly soft, it felt nice against her skin. “But thanks for this.” She snuggled into the sweater further.

“…I made it worse,” he muttered.

She squinted at him. “What’s that?”

“Nothing. Go to sleep. The blanket’s over the back of the couch. I’m going to record your snoring and use it in a track.”

“Use Joonie’s, it’ll have more impact,” she told him. He snorted. She plugged her phone into a charger and then put her glasses down on the side table. “Night, Yoongi.”

“…Night, Aviva.”

#bts #kim taehyung #min yoongi #bts predebut #bts x oc #park jimin #fanfiction #kim seokjin #bts world #idolverse #manager!oc #taehyung x oc #jimin x oc #yoongi x oc #seokjin x oc

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peachcitt · 4 years ago

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peach's top songs to project adrien agreste onto: waterparks edition

(disclaimer: the title is not to say that there will ever be other editions, but i did want to specify that this list is entirely comprised of songs made by the band waterparks. thank you)

ive been experiencing adrien agreste brain worms in relation specifically to waterparks, which is one of my favorite bands, and since ive been going insane over the adrien-specific feelings these songs have been giving me, i decided to make a master list of exactly how i project adrien onto these songs. this is going to be a long one

structure:

Intro

Airplane Conversations

Black Light

Cluster

Double Dare

Entertainment

Fandom

Greatest Hits

Conclusion

1. intro

it should be mentioned that i originally started hardcore projecting adrien onto waterparks songs after i started making my mlb radio rebel au in which adrien is a pop singer for his dad/in a band for fun with his best friends. i was trying to figure out what adrien's music might sound like, or what vibe his music would give off, and my mind immediately went to waterparks because they're one of my favorite bands and also because im insane.

in my head, for the au specifically, waterparks' earlier garage-band sounds from their EPs (airplane conversations, black light, cluster) would've matched up to adrien's band for fun in the au, and their later more pop-leaning songs from later albums (mostly fandom but also double dare and entertainment) would've matched up to the pop songs he released under his father's label. so that's how it started, which is, like, the most absurd origin story ever, but such is how it goes.

it should also be mentioned that i don't project adrien onto EVERY song, and the songs i do project him on aren't like. the most perfect fit, but there are always certain lines that scream adrien, and if it's like that, then i will include the song on the list.

with that explained, let's actually talk about the songs i project adrien onto and why:

2. airplane conversations

like i mentioned earlier, waterparks has a couple of garage-band sounding EPs, and this is for sure one of them. airplane conversations is the first EP they released, and the main themes are: feeling stuck, recognizing the fact that you are Growing Up, and being in love

5/5 songs on this EP can be considered adrien songs

silver

the song starts with:

"i’ll be the silver lining around your fence used to protect yourself from all the world and its sharp teeth 'cause my open hand and heart think you belong with me"

which is very ladynoir-esque. the beginning line of wanting to be "the silver lining" around the other person's protective fence against the rest of the world reminds me so strongly of chat's place as ladybug's partner; she wanted so badly to guard herself against the rest of the world after she became the guardian, and chat saw that and wanted to be her bright side to all the stress of being the guardian/a superhero. he stayed beside her and joked around because he loved her but also because he recognized that he needed something bright - a silver lining - to balance out all her stress. and "my open hand and heart think you belong with me" is pretty self explanatory, but chat's heart is always open for ladybug - as a partner, as a friend, as a potential lover. he supports her, in any and every way she might need.

in the second verse, we get:

"I was the one who kept myself standing tall You were the light at the end of the hall"

which relates to adrien enduring his dismal home life. his father and the work his father imposes on him isn't easy, but adrien was and still is able to stand tall beneath it all - partly because of what he wants for himself (he ran away to public school entirely on his own, after all), but also because ladybug is there to mark and signify the freedom and love he feels with her as chat noir.

bones of '92

so bones of '92 isn't. like a super adrien song, mostly because it's very much about the struggles waterparks was having as a new band, however the outro is. well. it's:

"i won’t let you down just promise that you won’t forget about me can’t stop the future from settling but i can change the way it feels just promise that you won’t forget about me"

this feels like adrien is speaking to his father in the first couple of lines ("i won't let you down / just promise you won't forget about me") because of how much of a strict and absent father gabriel is. i think adrien, at least in part, believes that the only way he is able to gain affection from his father is by doing exactly as he says and going along with what his father wants.

the next couple of lines ("can't stop the future from settling / but i can change the way it feels") is adrien's hopeful call to the future. he's stuck right now with his father, and he maybe even thinks that he'll always be stuck doing what his father wants, but he can change how he feels by being chat noir. by being chat noir, adrien is taking hold of his own future and his own feelings, shining a positive light on the future that he may not have had before.

the last line, a repetition of "just promise that you won't forget about me" could again be talking to his father, another plea after expressing his own desire, like he thinks that his father won't approve of him wanting his own things. or it could be adrien talking to ladybug or even the city itself; adrien loves being chat noir, but he's not really as popular as ladybug, and he also fears his relationship with ladybug. he needs frequent reminders from her that he's valuable and important to her, and so this fear of being forgotten - by her or Paris - tracks well with his character.

i was hiding under your porch because i love you

also not a huge adrien song BUT the line "it's just you and me / through all these inconsistencies" screams ladynoir

they all float

again, not a huge adrien song but my powers of projecting are unmatched and the line "this time i'll do things the way you wanted / it's not right, but it's just the way you wanted / lay it all on me, 'cause i'm all ears" is another adrien to gabriel line.

fantastic

i did not really consider this an adrien song until i looked up the lyrics and realized it was. im right. we have the chorus:

"i can't imagine fast enough to settle on a dream but i've spent this winter wondering when they're gonna settle on me and there's some things i've just gotta know but one thing's for sure"

which is another inscription of adrien's hopelessness in regards to his position with his father; he's never been given the opportunity to truly figure out what he wants for himself, and so he doesn't even really know where to start. the "one thing" that's for sure can be interpreted as the controlling hand gabriel has on his life, or it can take a more hopeful tone, considering that we have seen adrien take those first steps to move out of gabriel's control - by going to public school and by becoming chat noir. the "one thing" for sure could be gabriel, but it can also be that, for sure, adrien will always find ways to escape gabriel.

in the post chorus, we get:

"and i can't wait to go outside and spend my summers contemplating what I'm gonna do with my life"

which lends hope to adrien's "one thing" being him able to escape because of the excited tone of the lines. he "can't wait to go outside" as chat noir, outside of the mansion, and take time to contemplate what he wants from his own life, for himself.

3. black light

black light is the second EP waterparks released, and it's another garage-band sounding EP. the main themes of this EP are: being frustrated with your situation and the people in it, and wanting to carve out a better future for yourself

4/6 songs on this EP can be considered adrien songs

christmas

this is!!!!such an adrien song!!!!!! this is one of the songs that i picture adrien's band playing in my au i mentioned earlier. we start the song with:

"i fell asleep last winter woke up and it was august not much has changed, yeah, i still feel the same but i’m slowly making progress"

which fits into the themes of adrien's character i talked about during airplane conversations of adrien going through the motions of what his father tells him to, but slowly trying to break out of that control and make progress for his own goals.

in the chorus we get:

"i’m just waiting and i’m just saying maybe the end is near but all that means is a new beginning"

this isn't like. super adrien related but i still think it deserves mentioning because of how it progresses through the song (which i will mention in a second), but i think it relates well to the "growing up/fearing the future" stuff we've talked about.

we get a featured singer sing this part (which in my au nino sings, it doesn't matter):

"i’m just waiting for my chance to put a picture of me, put a picture of me in the dream scenes of dream scenes of dream scenes of dream scenes of my ideal future"

which, again, relates to adrien wanting to be able to call his future his own, outside of his father.

and in the outro, we get the lyrics from the chorus changed up a little, so that we get:

"i was waiting and i was saying the end wasn’t ours to fear and all it meant was a new beginning"

in my head, because of the way the tenses change from present to past, this would be adrien's perspective after the events of his childhood and teenage years. but because his youth is also so tied up with being chat noir and defeating hawkmoth (who is his father) i think this is such. this is such an emotional and hopeful line, looking at this from adrien's point of view. after defeating hawkmoth, despite how truly grueling that might be for him, he becomes free from gabriel's control. growing up, defeating hawkmoth, facing the end of childhood means adrien can have a new beginning. he can have his ideal future.

american history

american history isn't fully adriencore but the line "the action's a fraction of how much this hurts" is very much "we're teenage superheroes fighting supervillains every day and somehow the action of the fights is not the worst thing that's happening in my life"

new wave

i actually named my au after this song because it's such a bright, upbeat song against adults who try to tell you the way the things you do isn't right. it fits right in with the theme of the au, and it can also be applied to ladybug and chat noir's fight against hawkmoth.

in the first verse we get:

"call it new wave say it like you should because a call to arms is a calling card and i’m calling soon hoping i can get through to you"

which is like. hawkmoth is "calling to arms" his akumas, which in turn acts as a calling card for ladybug and chat noir. the "i'm calling soon / hoping i can get through to you" is chat noir specific because of the fact that hawkmoth is his father; instead of just defeating him, adrien will probably feel some empathy towards his father and want to get through to him.

in the pre-chorus, we get:

"every single time you throw your white flag down and surrender like every single second's just another second spent to lose but this is something i can’t lose"

which translates to hawkmoth akumatizing a new person nearly every day but still pulling back and "surrendering" after the akuma is defeated. he's playing the long game; he's confident that, eventually, he'll defeat ladybug and chat, and so he doesn't really care if he loses another day. but for ladybug and chat noir, this is life or death. they can't afford to lose to an akuma even once or else they lose the miraculous, maybe their lives, and definitely paris. they can't lose.

the outro is a variation on the intro and it's:

"call it new wave until it's all washed up because we'll be crashing soon but before we do i hope i get through through to you"

which refers to ladybug, chat noir, and hawkmoth "crashing" together in their final battle, but, before they do, adrien hopes to get through to his father, connect with him. and maybe that might make the "crashing into each other" less severe.

night maps

night maps is another song that fit into my au; it starts with:

"i couldn’t keep up with watering myself down and so all that grew was the high tide until i drowned the oxygen had all run out and now i’m left dried up and standing here"

which translates to adrien being drained and watered down to be the image his father wants him to be. the rest of the song, however, is about finding a place for yourself and beginning the process of being yourself again, which, for adrien means being chat noir.

4. cluster

cluster rounds out the early garage-band EPs as the third and final EP. the main themes of this EP are: being separated from someone you love and feeling frustrated about your situation.

4/5 songs on this EP can be considered adrien songs

crave

this is a very bittersweet song about being in love, which makes it, for my intents and purposes, a very bittersweet song about being in love with ladybug. at the beginning of the song, we get:

"i wish i could forget you but it's out of hand i wish i was aggressive and had a plan"

in canon, adrien dated kagami, but still obviously had feelings for ladybug. he did, however, like kagami a lot, and so he might've wished that he could forget his feelings for ladybug, especially knowing she can't reciprocate and he had an amazing girl right in front of him. he wants a plan to get out of feeling for her and for feeling for kagami.

in the chorus, we get:

"i'm cravin', a getaway from the smooth talk, that's keeping me grounded to the, carpet in my room my quiet blue tomb of you"

as chat, adrien can't resist flirting with ladybug because that's the friendship they've established with themselves, and ladybug is always smoothly replying back to him with jokes of her own. her banter, as much as he loves it and values it, keeps him thinking about her when he's alone in his room instead of thinking about kagami. his love for ladybug shouldn't be - she can't love him back and he is in a relationship with someone else - and so his bedroom where his innermost desires come to light becomes a guilty sort of place.

territory

territory is so ladynoir it hurts. in the intro we get the lines:

"i wear my game face in your headspace where it's storming at least most days we are both like that we are both the same"

which translates to ladybug and chat meeting, at most points in time, in order to fight akumas - hence, they always have to have their "game faces" on. ladybug's headspace is "storming" most days because of her stress with being the guardian and fighting akumas - and they find solace in each other's company because they're both teenagers burdened with way more than they should be.

the bridge gives us:

"i'm gonna hunt you down cause i'm a handful i'm gonna freak you out but it's all substantial so bring me bad news anything you have to just to keep me on my toes"

which is how chat views the way he tells his feelings to ladybug; he knows she'll probably "bring him bad news" by rejecting him, but he wants to continue being around her in her territory - he wants to be her friend, and he also wants to keep loving her.

pink

pink can also be a song about adrien loving ladybug, especially with the chorus lyric of "you're one of my favorite few" which is just. SO sweet and romantic but anyway. in the pre-chorus we get the lines:

"i'll watch you from my telescope; my eyes stuck to my favorite show i barely get more than a glimpse but it's better than nothing, yeah, i know"

which is like. adrien doesn't really get to see ladybug often, at least not in a relaxed setting like he really wants to. he feels far away from her, but when he does get the chance to be near her, he tries to absorb as much from the interaction as he can, throwing out dumb puns, flirting, and generally trying to get to know her in between akuma fights. it's not the ideal way he'd choose to spend time with her, but it's better than nothing.

no capes

no capes is another song about adrien wanting to be different that what he should be (with lines like "the anything slash everything that i should be / but i don't want to be like that") but this one takes a more somber and scared tone, which could relate to the fears he feels as chat noir.

the pre-chorus is literally just the line "no one will ever love us the way that i do." for adrien, being chat noir is so important to him, considering his home life, and he knows ladybug likes him, but she doesn't love him. he loves their partnership, he loves her - he fears he'll be in a position where he's wanting this (being a superhero, being friends) more than she does.

in the bridge, we get the lines:

"i hope you watch me through the letdown 'cause no one will be here, be here forever"

which could translate to any anxieties he feels about what happens after they achieve their goal of defeating hawkmoth. adrien has a lot of issues - issues about adults in his life disappearing/dying or emotionally leaving him behind - and he doesn't want ladybug to be another person to leave him behind after everything is over. he wants to still be able to be friends with her, maybe even learn her true name. but he fears that won't happen.

5. double dare

with double dare, we've breached album territory: double dare was waterparks' first official album, and it started branching into more polished, pop-leaning songs. the main themes of this album are: being tired and frustrated with something that you should like and loving someone who may not love you back

5/13 songs on this album can be considered adrien songs

stupid for you

stupid for you is ladynoir. it's ladynoir so hard. i mean, we have lines like:

"you're yellow, i'm natural blue let's get together and be green like my insides"

which. okay i know adrien is generally seen as the yellow golden boy and he is! but like, looking at him in comparison to marinette/ladybug and actual color theory, he's more of a natural blue. he's more likely to fall victim to negative thoughts than marinette is; she's generally more positive, more 'yellow.' (also, when you consider that their character design colors are each other's colors when inversed, this also makes sense - adrien is 'blue' beneath his appearance and marinette is 'yellow') and the "let's get together and be green like my insides" relates because green is a chat noir color. he wants them, in their 'yellow' and 'blue' contrasting moods to get together and be green, like chat noir, who is generally silly and joking around. he wants them to be able to be silly together.

in the chorus, we get:

"hey, tell me what you want me to say you know i'm stupid for you hey, can you come and come out and play? you know i'm stupid for you"

which is like how he is after he's been rejected; he doesn't know what to say after she tries to get him to stop flirting. he wants her to give him blueprints of how to act so that she'll like him (i.e. what color rose he gives her), but he still wants to be around her and and joke around with her.

in the bridge, we get:

"Just double dare me And I promise now that I'll stay It's not like you're married but I still got carried away"

which further develops his insecurities in regards on how to interact with her - he knows she didn't like when he confessed to her, that it made her feel guilty and a little upset because she couldn't return her feelings, and he got carried away with his over-the-top methods. but if she were to ask him to stay with her, in any sense of the word, he would do it in a heartbeat.

in the second chorus, we get:

"you're playing ring around my head i wear you like a halo you're a symphony, i'm just a sour note i'll take what i can get the best is hard to grip when everybody wants you and everybody wants you"

which conveys how ladybug is always on his mind ("you're playing ring around my head") but he likes this fact - or at the very least he doesn't mind it ("i wear you like a halo"). he sees her as someone who is so good and so out of reach for him ("you're a symphony, i'm just a sour note") but he still wants to be around her as much as he can. he'll take what he can get in terms of her time and attention, because he knows how the entire city is vying for her attention - she's the face of paris and she's the guardian and she has her own life to attend to - he thinks that maybe to her, he's just another person in her life who wants her.

royal

royal is only kind of an adrien song with lines like "i'm two faced from your double exposure" about his conflicting personas between what his father wants from him and what he himself wants to be, and this is especially poignant because of the "double exposure" metaphor, like the cameras adrien is behind for his modelling jobs are what make him "two faced"

royal is also about working so hard but not knowing if the pay off is worth it, which also relates to adrien's job with his father.

take her to the moon

take her to the moon is a "adrien loving ladybug song" with lines such as:

"i wanna make my way into your kiss i wanna live inside your mind next to your favorite songs i won't slow my pace until your walkway i wanna lose my mood inside a late night phone call with you"

which such a sweet lovesick yearning idea that adrien has 100% thought about ladybug before. i rest my case

powerless

powerless is a ladynoir song. in the first verse we get:

"you know i'd make the time i'm just waiting on your green light yeah, i'll be at your porch by this time tomorrow 'cause i'm almost not fine, but i'd never let you know"

which is like. adrien is SO down to be anything ladybug needs - he has almost no time at all what with his father's schedule, but he will always make time for ladybug. he's literally just waiting for her to call, and he'll be there. but in terms of actually letting her know how important she is to him in his life, as both a friend and as someone he loves romantically, he can never tell her because he doesn't really want to worry her.

in the chorus we get:

"you're the only one that makes me powerless tonight all i am is losing track of time tell me why oh, oh you never really missed me back"

which leads us into the bridge:

"i want you to need me like i need you i need you to see me when I'm see-through it's sad but it's true: no one's waiting for you but i was thinking we could get away sometime yeah, let's call it a date and you can devastate my personal space i never liked it anyway"

and that tells us how strong his feelings are for her; they're so powerful that he's effectively powerless against her. but he feels as though he's the only one that feels that way - she never seems to miss him back. but he wants her to want him in the same way he wants her - he wants her to be able to see him, in all his details, and still like him. and he wants her to go on a date with him and actually get close to him - get up his personal space because with her, he doesn't actually want personal space.

i'll always be around

i'll always be around is guess what!!! another ladynoir song!!! the chorus gives us:

"you know i'll always be around i'd never never never leave you hanging out to dry because the world's gonna pass me by but if you wanted, i'd never never never leave your leave your side i'd never never never leave you out to dry i'd never never never get you off my mind"

which is so!!! relates to the previously mentioned ideas of adrien being willing to drop everything to do what ladybug asked. he's devoted and loyal to her - he always wants to be someone that she can rely on as both a friend and a partner, and, potentially, as a lover.

we also get the line:

"you stopped me in my tracks you caught me in a gaze"

which relates to the moment he fell in love with her when she stood up to hawkmoth in front of all of paris: in that single moment she'd caught him up into having feelings for her, even if she didn't know it.

and in the bridge we get:

"if there ever came a dark day (if there ever came a dark day) that crushed us out and took you away i'd chase you to the end i'd chase you to the end of the world"

which is so. so ladynoir. their relationship and friendship is constantly haunted by the threat of hawkmoth, and so this consideration of the terrible "what ifs" and the insistence that no matter what, he'd find a way to get back to her is like. yeah that's ladynoir.

6. entertainment

entertainment is the second album, and it continues leaning into the pop-alternative sound while still somehow sticking to the punk sound. the main themes of this album are: loving someone, loving someone who hurts you and isn't good for you, and feeling trapped in your circumstances

4/10 songs on this album can be considered adrien songs

11:11

this song is so!!!! adrien loving marinette core!!!!!! i actually wrote a fic that had one of the lyrics of this song as a title (my favorite set of stairs is the one up to your room)

the pre-chorus actually gives us this line here:

"my favorite set of stairs is the one up to your room and my heavy set of cares evaporates all around you evil comes in pairs and we like what we do you've got me feeling like a walking love song"

which just makes me think of the way adrien will be after the identity reveal happens. he already wants marinette to be ladybug (based off the sheer amount of times he's referred to her as 'the everyday ladybug' + every time he's gotten so close to discovering ladybug's identity and his brain has always gone, without fail, to marinette), and so when he realizes that she is ladybug, she'll quickly become the person he most wants to be around and the person he feels most comfortable around. because of how dismal his home life is, he'll probably spend a lot of time at her house, and he'll come to associate the stairs of her room with walking into love and comfort. he'll be absolutely smitten with her.

in the chorus, we get:

"i must've caught you from 11:11 the lucky number seven i try to hide with my words but you just find me clever i found a million places you'd be worth the chases to go-oh-oh"

which again just inscribes how strongly he would feel for marinette - and it's also kind of a pun because of how "lucky" he would be to have her. like. get it. lucky charm. anyway, his "hiding with his words" would refer to the way he disguises his feelings with humor, but she would be able to see past that - they would know each other so well. and, just like how i've said adrien is with ladybug, he would totally be willing to go anywhere and everywhere for marinette. this song is post-reveal adrinettecore.

lucky people

guess what fellas we have another song about adrien loving ladybug/marinette. after looking closely, it seems like we might have a post-reveal relationship sort of vibe here, but it doesn't really matter because bare bones? this song is about adrien loving ladybug who is also marinette.

we start with the verse:

"light us up until we pop i wanna burn bright 'til we're not let's keep each other safe from the world i'll be your optimistic black hole full of love i can't control let's keep each other safe from the world from the world"

which falls into the previously-discussed themes of adrien wanting to be around ladybug as much as he possibly can before they defeat hawkmoth and inevitable Something Different happens, and he also wants the both of them to stick together. the "i'll be your optimistic black hole / full of love i can't control" also relates to previously-discussed adrien themes where we know adrien is actually someone who is prone to negative thoughts, but he comes off as someone who is really optimistic, and also that he loves ladybug something fierce - it's a love that he knows has already scared her, but it's also a love that he feel like he can't help but feel.

in the chorus, we get:

"i know you said to mind my business but cupid sent me on a mission that's got me sitting, wishing, waiting for your call"

which plays into adrien's romantic nature conflicting with ladybug wanting to keep their feelings out of superhero work. regardless, because of his romantic nature, he will always be sitting and waiting for her to call him so that they can be together, even if it's just to fight akumas.

we also have the line:

"you've got me more than clumsy but you're my yellow, lovely"

which (SEASON 4 SPOILERS) after mr. pigeon 72 is like. adrien literally was so busy looking at marinette that he bumped his head against a car door. but he won't even mind!! because marinette/ladybug is a spot of brightness in his world that he absolutely adores.

rare

i am once again telling you that this song is about adrien loving ladybug. hear me out. i'm right. in the chorus we get:

"i just hope it's nicer where you are 'cause i only want to lift you up i guess i never really said enough for you to hear me where you are 'cause i only want to lift you up i guess i never really said enough so let me tell you now"

this is adrien hoping that, wherever and whoever ladybug is, she's living happily - at least more happily than him. he only wants to lift her up and support her, not only because he loves her, but also because he values her as a friend. but he feels like she doesn't know how much she truly cares about him - he feels like she brushes off when he tells her he loves her, so he wants to say it loud enough for her to truly understand.

and in the other half of the chorus, we get:

"my tired thoughts don't take vacations, oh no you float up in conversations, oh no you're my final destination, i know you're probably fine there just know i think you're rare"

which is where he tells her how he truly feels; he's always thinking about her, and when she comes up in conversation (which she does, she's ladybug after all), he feels some stress because he has all these feelings for her that his civilian self isn't supposed to have. and yet he feels like she's it for him - he loves her so much and can't imagine loving anyone else. she's his "final destination." and he thinks that she is so good and powerful and beautiful that she's rare in comparison to the rest of the world - which tells her how happy he is to have found her. (and, thinking about this line as if he's speaking to ladybug, it's funny for him to say that he thinks she's rare but refer to marinette as "the everyday ladybug." which really just tells you how highly he thinks of marinette)

sleep alone

we're rounding out this album with, you guessed it, another song about adrien loving ladybug. like. "i feel dead and a half but you're making me laugh" ?? which relates to adrien being overworked by his father but meeting ladybug in his spare time and managing to feel truly light hearted around her??

in the chorus we get:

"my face feels hot and blue my hands still count on you to let me down articulate and lonely enough for the two of us but if you want, if you want, if you want to you can call me on my phone, i'll run to you you won't ever have to sleep alone you can call me on my phone, i'll come to you you won't ever have to sleep, sleep, sleep alone"

which hints at how adrien knows that ladybug will continue to turn him down, but he can't deny his feelings for her ("my hands still count on you to let me down"). and he's lonely - isolated by his father - which he feels like he has enough to loneliness to cover the both of them, which is why he proposes that they stay together; he'll take on her loneliness, too. and, just like in all the adrien-loves-ladybug songs, we see that he is only a single call away from doing anything ladybug asks him too.

we also get the line "but if you want it you can have it, you can have me in full" which tells us that he respects her wishes to keep their identities a secret, and he understands that she doesn't have romantic feelings for him, but if she ever changed her mind - about either thing - all she would have to do is ask, and she would have him, entirely.

7. fandom

fandom is the third album, and it leans into not only pop-alternative sounds, but also rap and almost r&b alternative sounds. the main themes of this album are: wanting to be able to express yourself in the way you want, feeling separated from someone you love, and getting out of a bad relationship

7/15 songs on this album can be considered adrien songs

cherry red

starting off strong with the album's opener (which also starts with the ending music of the last song on the album which is- okay. this album's art. continuing on) which is - i'm thinking you're sensing the pattern - at least partly about adrien loving ladybug. cherry red is super short, and the only line that really applies is:

"cherry red you know i'd die for you"

which. cherry red refers to ladybug because of, you know, cherry red suit, etc. and the "you know i'd die for you" is. well. adrien has made it very clear that he will go out of his way during akuma fights to protect ladybug. it's not exactly dying, but it's close enough.

dream boy

dream boy is!!!!!!!! dream boy is THE adrien song!!!!! dream boy was the song that made me mold au adrien's band after waterparks, dream boy is the song that semi-inspired this post, dream boy is the reason i project adrien onto so much of waterparks' discography.

dream boy sounds a lot like a love song. but dream boy is, at it's core, a commentary on the way that media and fanbases treat conventionally attractive boys in the spotlight, and it's a commentary in the form of a bright, bubbly pop song. it's brilliant. it's adrien

the chorus, which is also the intro gives us:

"am i the boy you dreamed of? oh living in your subconscious, oh do you believe in love? oh and is it because of me?"

which is like. from the very start of this song, we get the idea that adrien (since we're supplementing the speaker as adrien, you get it) exists only as a the dream of a boy his fans have of the perfect boy. they believe in love because they love him, but they don't love the real him, they love the 'adrien' that they've constructed in their minds

in the verse, we get:

"build your expectations saturated and inflated 'cause i was born to be your favorite make me complicated i'm modern and i'm dated because i was born to be your favorite"

which builds on the manufactured feeling of adrien agreste. his public persona as a model was built by gabriel to make money - he was literally constructed as a teenage heartthrob "born to be your favorite" so that his father could profit.

and in the pre-chorus, we get:

"build-a-boy, pick my pieces overjoyed‚ never leave your heart destroyed, i'm your boy custom-made your beloved getaway i'm your favorite holiday you'll never be alone with me"

which is like. adrien is constantly rebuilding himself to fit the ideals other people want from him, and other people are constantly rebuilding him in their minds to fit the ideals they have for him. he isn't his own person - he's always belonged to other people, custom-made, depending on their preferences, to be the most likable he could possibly be.

high definition

high definition falls into the category of "songs about adrien loving ladybug while trying to be in a relationship with kagami." in my mind, i hear adrien in this song talking to two separate 'you's - both kagami and ladybug.

when the song starts, giving us the chorus we get:

"i'd love to be in love with you enough to write a love song, mmh i need to feel needed and i need it more than i let on"

which is adrien speaking to kagami. he wants to love her because he knows she deserves it and she's an amazing girl, but he can't. but he still needs that affection she gives him because he's lacking it in other parts of his life.

in the second half of the chorus, we get:

"i'll be home just thinking about it, maybe call like i used to but i'll just stay alone because alone is safer than with you"

which, in my head, is where he transitions to talking to ladybug. he still thinks about her and he wants to be with her, but he recognizes that those wants aren't responsible while in a relationship with someone else.

in a verse, we get:

"i know i'm not around enough to make me worth the wait it's like who wants to be close with someone who always goes away? and even when they're here it's like where's your fucking head at? why's it take so long to text back? you're so bad at loving people back"

which is where we see his relationship with kagami devolve. (SEASON 4 SPOILERS) i mean, this is almost literally why kagami breaks up with him; he's always running off for seemingly no reason, and even when he was around, he was emotionally distant because of his feelings for ladybug.

telephone

telephone is a HUGE ladynoir song. this is a song about how much chat wants to be able to get to know ladybug, which gives us lines like:

"i'd like to know your middle name let's talk about your parents and your future dreams i'm interested but distant to a fault and i'd never want to complicate your heart"

which is just like!! he wants to know all the little information about her like her middle name and her parents, but he also wants to talk about her and her dreams. he wants to know her, outside of the mask, but he knows that's not something she wants, so he tries to keep these wants tamped down.

the second verse gives us:

"i talk a lot, but we could fill your frames with pictures of our faces 'til we share a name i'm living on a target and you shot it with an arrow now i lost my self-control, i can't stop thinking and i'm thinking that i lost it all these aisles feel like miles where you go, i'll follow"

which, again, expresses his desire to be with her in her civilian life, even fantasies about marrying her. he is so stupidly in love with her - and, as i've talked about before, he is absolutely devoted to her. wherever she goes, he'll follow.

never bloom again

never bloom again is a little too sad for my to comfortably label it a ladynoir song but this line:

"now all the girls in los angeles look like you from a distance i tried to give you space until i stepped away from your brain and now i just miss it"

is very adrien-loving-ladybug-esque. replace 'los angeles' with 'paris' and you get adrien trying to find ladybug's features in every girl he meets while still trying to give ladybug space on their secret identities.

[reboot]

[reboot] isn't a really an adrien song, but it does reference dream boy, which is worth mentioning. in the chorus, we get the line:

"i never promised you your dream boy i'm better as your chew toy"

which could be like adrien's actual thoughts on his placement as paris' and his father's manufactured dream boy persona. he's not actually everyone's dream boy, he's just a toy for them to use a destroy.

zone out

zone out is a huge adrien song because it is literally just dream boy. zone out acts as a break before the last song in the album, and it is the lyrics to dream boy set to a softer, more lullaby-esque tempo and instrumental sound. it's a lot sadder than the normal dream boy, and you can really feel the fact here that dream boy is not a love song.

with zone out, we have adrien's actual quiet, sad feelings about dream boy. he wants to fill the dream boy role for his father, but he can't, really, because he can never live up to that level of perfection. he will always fall short.

8. greatest hits

and with that we have reached the most recent waterparks album. this album plays with experimental genre sounds even more so than the previous two, but is still unmistakably the "waterparks" sound. the themes of this album are: strange dreams and nightmares, struggling with being in the spotlight, and wanting to feel loved

7/17 songs on this album can be considered adrien songs

lowkey as hell

lowkey as hell isn't overtly an adrien song but the chorus plays on the common themes we've seen before:

"if you need me now i'll be there somehow i'll pick you up, we can ride i'll fly away like i bought my own airline i'll take you with me, we can ride"

which is basically that adrien will always be around to do anything ladybug needs - if she ever has the need to call to him, he'll always find a way to be there for her.

violet!

i won't go too in depth about it, but violet! is about a stalker and their victim, who is the speaker, and you cannot tell me adrien does not have any stalkers at all with the way the show portrays his fame. he's probably had to deal with his fair share of crazy fans, so i thought i'd mention violet! here.

snow globe

also not an overtly adrien song, but we get these lines in one of the verses:

"’cause all i hear is 'i love you so much' but it starts to mean nothing when my heart is shut from you my heart is shut from you my little tiny world is in your hands so shake it like a snow globe fuck my plans"

which talks about how the love adrien experiences as a famous model isn't the kind of love he wants - he wants feel loved by his father. but gabriel just uses him for the company - he holds adrien's tiny world in his hands, and uses that grasp to shake up adrien's world and disrupt the relationships adrien has with the outside world.

the secret life of me

this song is about fantasizing about running away to a new life, or to a secret life away from responsibilities, so like. adrien about how he's chat noir.

in the chorus, we get:

"sunbathe looking like a sunday wishing for a someday i could run away like that now i think i need a life or maybe 9 'cause i feel like i’m running out of time, yea

which plays on the ideas of running away. it's really fitting, i think, because of the reference to wanting 9 lives, which is definitely a pun adrien would make as chat noir

american graffiti

this is another song about struggling with being in the spotlight, which relates to adrien. in the chorus, we get:

"yeah, you've been reading all about me and you're loving what you found i'm like american graffiti you want some glitter, drink it down yeah, you've been seeing all about me taking notes, yeah, write it down i'm like american graffiti if you need me, i'm here now if you need me, i'm here now"

which relates to the themes brought up during dream boy: we have this circumstance of people finding adrien, learning all there is to possibly know about him, and deciding that they love this version of him they see in the media. the "if you need me, i'm here now" also refers to the dream boy theme because of how this version of adrien that exists in most people's heads will always be there to comfort them and "love" them in a parasocial relationship.

fruit roll ups

fruit roll ups is yet another adrien-loving-ladybug song in which he talks about wanting to invite her over so they can watch movies together and also how much he feels for her.

in the first verse, we get the lines:

"when you talk it's in cursive to me and it's nicer than anything i'd believe about me it's like that shit was written in gel pen and i love those"

which is not. super important but it's cute! also the line "and it's nicer than anything i'd believe about me" also might refer to the way ladybug reassures him of his placement as a hero and a friend in her life, which are things he continually finds hard to believe. so it's also sad!

crying over it all

speaking of sad this last song is another adrien-loving-ladybug song and it is. sad.

the pre-chorus is:

"so practice your passion on me give me your 100 degrees i'll die off whenever you need an afternoon just to breathe soon everyone will be gone they'll forget my albums, i hope you'll be here when it's done and i'm crying over it all, yeah"

first of all. i go insane every time i hear the line "so practice your passion on me." now that we've gotten that out of the way let's continue on. we have the line "I'll die off whenever you need" which refers to chat's tendency to sacrifice himself for ladybug during akuma fights, and these lines also express that familiar desire he has of wanting ladybug to stay beside him after the events of whatever will happen next actually happen.

and in the chorus, we have:

"and all i think about is where you might be and when i'm swallowed down i'd say it's for you, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, oh i'd say it's for you, yeah, yeah, yeah"

which refers to how adrien wonders about ladybug when they're apart - he wants to know about her and how she spends her free time, but he can't know these things, not yet. and the line "and when i'm swallowed down / i'd say it's for you" would refer metaphorically (maybe sometimes literally) to the things he does during akuma fights for her to make sure they succeed.

and in another verse, we get:

"cherry red's your touch a touch i'm failing to feel, or feel enough to love you safely “who?”, “what?”, “when?”, and “why?” all drive me crazy please make me sane for you"

again using the phrase "cherry red" to refer to ladybug, her touch something that adrien can't feel enough of because their relationship is strictly platonic, but he wants more. he wants to know the 'who, what, when, where, and why's of her life, but he can't, and it drives him a little crazy. in contrast to being "stupid for her" back in double dare, he wants to be "made sane for her" so that he can have some feeling of peace in their relationship after getting rejected.

9. conclusion

the biggest conclusion we have here is that im insane. the second biggest conclusion we have here is that i have the amazing ability to project adrien onto a very large portion of waterparks' discography, and i'm right in doing so. an equally important takeaway is that adrien needs a hug and also that he loves ladybug. thank you for your time

#adrien agreste #ml meta #adrien agreste meta #miraculous ladybug #ml #mlb #my meta #literally if anyone reads this the full way through you are stronger than the us marines. i mean this literally #me: i will make a fun post about the songs i project onto adrien!#also me: takes it way too seriously #i should've just done it based on memory and saved everyone the trouble of this stupid huge post but im stubborn #and love making things harder for myself.#i literally looked at the lyrics for every single waterparks song and considered whether or not i could project adrien onto them #this post took me. an embarrassingly long time. so long. i will not say how long but so long.#and don't get me wrong. it's not embarrassing because of how long it took me - it's a long thorough post so obviously it would take long #what is embarrassing is the fact that it is a long post about projecting adrien agreste onto songs and also that i unironically reference #an mlb radio rebel au multiple times unironically throughout the course of this post. THAT is embarrassing #speaking of my mlb radio rebel au i really need to finish that. hopefully i can work on it over the summer #anyway. i have to go to sleep now because it's stupid o'clock. im running on fumes. everything's great #goodnight i WILL be reblogging this when i wake up. i want to burden as many people as possible with its existence as it has burdened me

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imagine-loki · 4 years ago

Text

Taking turns

TITLE: Taking turns

CHAPTER NO./ONE-SHOT: One-shot

AUTHOR: fanfictrashdump

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki getting a touch of heatstroke while in Jotun form, and climbing into a bathtub full of ice cubes to cool down.

One slight hitch – his low Jotun body temperature makes the ice cubes stick and freeze together, trapping him in a block of ice

RATING: T

NOTES/WARNINGS: Started out as a comedy idea and ended something entirely different. Some language, suggestions of sex, and soft Loki.

Forty minutes. Loki was forty minutes late. Loki was forty minutes late and they were all starving.

“Becks, you want to go check on the drama queen? Tell him he’s either here in five or we’re leaving without him!” Tony grumbled, looking a little worse for wear with his black eye.

The team had gotten back from a mission in South America. They were all sporting various colored bruises, cuts, and casts. They were all exhausted. Still, they had decided, as a group, that they would go and grab dinner to celebrate a successful expedition before they all crashed for a week. However, while everyone had showered, patched up, and returned to the common room within a half hour, Loki was still nowhere in sight forty minutes after their accorded meet time. While Loki was known to prod at Tony’s buttons just for the hell of it, he had never gone as far as dragging the full team down. And he was a stickler for a schedule.

Becca sighed, abandoning her spot on the couch with a groan. The angry cut on her side that Bruce had finished patching a few minutes prior screamed in protest. “He’s probably moving slow. He was kinda fading there, at the end of the mission. I hope nothing’s wrong.”

“There better be! If not, why the hell is he not here?”

“Jesus, Tony! Your pockets are filled with blueberries. Have a snack. Settle down.” She skirted around Wanda and Vision on the loveseat before taking off down the hall.

Loki’s rooms were at the end of the furthermost east wing. It was a nice enough area, but there wasn’t much more around. That was on purpose, both on Tony and Loki’s part. Though there was some semblance of mutual respect between them, they generally tried to be as far apart from each other as was physically possible. And Loki liked the silence. No one interrupted his odd sleeping patterns or quiet contemplation. It made it a little hard to make sure he was alive, though.

“FRIDAY, is Loki OK?” Becca asked when she reached his door, finding it locked.

“Er… define OK.”

A million thoughts raced through her mind. The mission had been intense, but it was mostly due to being in unfamiliar terrain and climate. It had been a full week of unbearable heat and dastardly humidity. Her own Caribbean countenance, well-versed in matters of heat, had swayed dangerously under the oppressive temperatures. Ever since Loki revealed the truth about his parentage to the team, Becca always made it a point to check in with him if they were under blistering sun or steamy foxholes. She clearly had not paid him enough mind this time around.

“Open the door.”

“Loki asked–”

“NOW.”

FRIDAY was not about to argue with her, it seemed. The lock clicked under her fingers and the door swung open easily.

The living room and kitchen were empty, as was the bedroom. She could see the door to the en suite slightly ajar and light spilling out into the shadowed bedroom. Her feet moved on their own accord towards the brightness.

“Loki?”

A handful of Asgardian curses accented the air. “Don’t!” He hissed, just as her hand met the wood of his bathroom door. “Just leave.”

He was promptly ignored. “Are you alright?” The door creaked open, but she did not enter.

“Please, just leave.” His voice sounded shaky. It didn’t give her much incentive to turn around.

“Tell me what’s wrong or I’m coming in.”

“Rebecca…” Without waiting for the rest of his excuse, she slipped through the doorway.

Loki’s bathroom was lovely. A large sunken bath took up most of the space that was paneled in dark woods and golden accents. There was the faint smell of sandalwood in the air, which seemed to hover at a perfect 75 degrees. The Asgardian was in the bath, covered in what Becca now noticed was ice. It disappointed her to know that she truly hadn’t paid enough mind to his propensity to heatstroke. Her concern was great enough that she had not even spared an extra thought to the fact that he was blue and his eyes were red orbs that ominously followed her around the room.

“Are you OK? What can I get you? Fuck.” Her right hand reached for her ear, activating her comms. “Tony–”

“No, don’t!” Loki’s instinct was to lunge in an effort to stop her, but succeeded only in moving the awkward lump of ice around his form to leave him slumped forward.

Various expressions flashed through Becca’ face–concern, alarm, confusion, amusement. Her comms buzzed in hear ear, prompting a follow-up. “Er, you guys are going to have to go on without us. Bring us something back, OK?” The hand in her ear lowered to cover her mouth. Loki didn’t need to see her mouth to know she was grinning or that the noise was trying to conceal was a snort of laughter and not a cough. “You, er–”

“Don’t you fucking dare!”

A giggle overcame her. “You OK there, buddy?”

The snarl from his curled mouth gave her a clear view of sharpened teeth and plum-colored gums. Her hand dropped, knowing it was no use to hide her amusement any longer. Bending at the waist, she pulled the laces off of her combat boots, toeing them off, before pulling her socks off after them. Her bare feet pounded tile until she was at the edge of the tub and was able to sink to her knees.

“Go. Away.” The growl that punctuated his words was lost in the shiver of his voice. Maybe Jotuns could get cold.

Becca tutted under her breath, holding her warm hand onto his cheek. Her thumb trailed distractedly over a raised line before sweeping inky black hair away from his eyes. “Loki, you’re stuck in an ice cube. I’m not leaving you here.” The whispered words held no jest or mockery and the warmth emanating from her digits seemed to be well-received, if the way he pressed lightly on them was any indication.

She carefully clambered over his form to reach for the extendable shower-head mounted in the wall behind him. “It’s going to have to be warm, OK?” Her hands fiddled at the taps and experimentally sprayed at her hands to gauge the temperature. “If you start not feeling well, tell me.” Her warm brown eyes maintained contact with his until he was forced to nod.

A hiss leaked through his clenched teeth as water trickled between the ice cubes and found its way onto his skin. By the time that happened, it would cool considerably, but it was still an uncomfortable sensation, nonetheless. Becca mumbled apologies as her hands turned pale, and then a chilled pink from shifting cubes away as they melted.

“This is taking forever,” Loki muttered, resting his head back against the wall, eyes clenched closed.

“I’m afraid of going any warmer when you’re like this, Lo. I don’t want to hurt you.” His brow pulled tightly in a frown before moving back to concern. It was as if he had forgotten he was in his other form, but the tight clench of his jaw told Becca that the detail was sure not to escape his notice ever again.

“I don’t care.”

“Yeah, but I do.”

Getting the bulk of the ice not stuck to his body to melt away was the biggest endeavor, but it was happening quickly enough. Once the bath was only about half-full, it was easier to start freeing Loki’s limbs. The problem was that steam was starting to fog up the room and his head lolled to the side every now and again as he became weaker. There was still a layer of ice, a few inches thick, preventing him from moving.

“Hey. How about you talk to me? To keep awake,” Becca urged, carding her fingers through his hair to clear his face. “Tell me a story.”

Loki groaned, eyes barely blinking open to look up at her. The noise of complaint only deepened at the genuine smile that greeted him on the other end. “Once upon a time, I was an idiot and got stuck in ice and a mortal too stubborn for her own good had to get me out of it. The end.”

Becca giggled. “I think you forgot to mention how cute the mortal was or how handy she was with a shower-head.”

“Oh, forget it. Just leave me here to die.”

“You should have just called me.”

“Why on Earth, would I willingly call you to free me of this embarrassment?” His scarlet eyes bore straight into her soul with annoyance and irritation, but couldn’t help but soften at her playful expression. “I don’t want to furnish you with anecdotes to tell Stark and the others.”

“I’m not telling them about this.” At his questioning stare, she continued. “I only need to tell them that you weren’t feeling well and I chose to stay behind. They don’t need details.”

“Why would you do that?”

“I wouldn’t want them to know if it had happened to me.” Most of the loose ice was now gone. Becca put the shower-head down and moved to the other side of the bath to activate the stopper and open the larger tap. “I’m going to fill the tub with warm water and that will probably melt the rest away without much issue.”

“I… I don’t think I can go much warmer without passing out.” Loki admitted, softly, eyes rounded and pleading.

She turned her face to him and smiled. “I’ll be here. I have you. I promise.”

The tub filled and the faint crackle of shifting ice could be heard over the sound of their breathing. Becca fished her cell phone out of her pocket and tossed it a few ways away from the tub, before slipping into the water, jeans, t-shirt and all. Loki was lolling again, so Becca thought the best course of action was to put a little force on the already fissured sheets and easing them off.

Her hands started at his legs, squeezing lightly at places where the ice seemed to give and breaking apart the pieces, watching absently as they bobbed up the surface before melting away completely. It wasn’t until she reached his thighs that it occurred to her that maybe feeling Loki up was not the of ideas. Still, he was drifting in an out and fading fast. She would risk a little awkward groping for the sake of getting him free before he drifted any further. She paused near mid thigh, her cheeks turning a deep pink before she pivoted and worked on his arms. His hands and wrists were already free, and it took little effort to slide off the ice off the rest of his arms. His back was mostly thawed and she could remove a large piece covering his chest. There was only the awkward bit to get through now. Biting the inside of her cheek, she prodded for any loose ice and broke the sheets as gently as she could while not wasting time.

Pulling the stopper, she gathered Loki into her chest, putting her arms under his and pulling him to the edge. He was deceptively heavy, Becca realized; a dense creature like a collapsing star. She struggled with the settings on the shower-head and gradually turned the water spray from warm to cool to frigid cold. She shivered heavily behind him, Loki only stirred, slowly coming back into himself.

Becca clambered out, clumsily. Her extremities were cold and numb and she was shivering heavily. Knowing she wasn’t going to clear walking for another moment, she pulled her knees up to her chest and folded into herself for warmth. Her eyes fell onto Loki who, now alert, was taking the steps out the tub with her zeroed in his sights. Despite the fact that she had just run her hands over every line, dot, and hash of his body, seeing it in plain display felt more intimate. He made no effort to cover himself or change back into his Asgardian form, though she suspected that was more so the fact that he was still weak. Not that she minded. In this form he was terrifying. He oozed brute strength and savagery–very different from his Asgardian counterpart–but she found that she liked it. It was akin to finding money in an old coat–you weren’t expecting it, but you’re glad you did.

“You need to get out of those wet clothes.” He sunk to his knees before her with a guarded look.

“I would, but my hands decided to stop working.” She forced a laugh. “It’s OK. Just let me warm a degree or two and I’ll get out of your hair.” He pressed a hand to her back, making wide circles to create friction. His touch made her shudder gratefully. “At least I’m not warm enough to make you uncomfortable.”

“I like you warm,” he offered after a long pause. His black talon-tipped hands slid under the back of her t-shirt and pulled the material away from her skin, easing it off gently. It took little prodding to make her unwind her arms from around her knees. He discarded the garment beside her before working on the clasp of her bra, which joined it a moment later. Pulling her jeans off her hips was a bit harder, as the denim adhered to her skin like it was another living layer, but he managed to tug them off and down her legs along with her underwear. Reaching behind her, he pulled a towel from the shelf, putting it around her shoulders and proceeding to rub her down. “Thank you, Rebecca.” She got the distinct feeling he didn’t just mean for freeing him of his ice prison.

“Not a problem. Just… maybe don’t do it again without supervision.” The words had left her mouth out of their own volition and the heat she could feel rising in her cheeks was all but impossible to hide. “That came out weird. I didn’t mean it like–not that I don’t find you stupidly attractive–I just–”

He slanted his lips against hers, cutting off whatever rambling rabbit hole she was fixing to throw herself down. “Let me warm you up in my bed,” he mumbled against her lips, his fingertips making sinful shapes against her naked skin.

“But–”

“You can cool me after. We’ll take turns.” With a half-suppressed moan, she threw her arms around his neck and allowed him to carry her off into the bedroom. She would worry about him overheating later.

#Loki #Lover #Others #Imagine #Submitted one shot #submission #taking turns #Fanfictrashdump

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words-writ-in-starlight · 4 years ago

Note

okay, i'm taking that as an invitation: PLEASE post your annotations for the kencyrath playlist?

OKAY SURE TWIST MY ARM I GUESS

Actually this playlist is...long as hell, BUT there’s only like twelve people in this fandom and I’m in a group chat with half of them, so everything is here but it’s got a cut for length because my annotations are Specific.

THE BASICS (in no particular order)

Can’t Cheat Death by the Ballroom Thieves, for Jame, no further comment, I am Correct

I spilled blood in the water Then let the storm roll in I put my hands in the fire Watched my welcome wear thin Salt in my wounds and spit in my eye I burned the path you walk on And I let none survive

Thistles and Weeds by Mumford & Sons, for Torisen, who is a good leader and also falling apart

Spare me your judgements and spare me your dreams Cause recently mine have been tearing my seams I sit alone in this winter clarity which clouds my mind

Hey Brother by Avicii, for Jame and Tori, in all ways

Hey brother, do you still believe in one another? Hey sister, do you still believe in love, I wonder? Oh, if the sky comes falling down For you, there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do

Human by Rag’n’Bone Man, for Kindrie Soul-walker, out of his depth and doing his best

Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blind Thinking I can see through this and see what's behind Got no way to prove it, so maybe I'm lying

Soldier, Poet, King by the Oh Hellos, for the Tyr-ridan (I have considered learning to draw SPECIFICALLY to do a comic of this song featuring Jame as the soldier, Kindrie as the poet, and Tori as the king, but I couldn’t pick a verse because it’s not a very long song)

Home to Me by Devil and the Deep Blue Sea, for Jame and Tori, which I would ALSO do a line-by-line breakdown of as a duet, because I love it for them

(Tori) How dare you love me like you've never known fear When you've got more troubles than minutes in the year (Jame) And a voice like your father's tells you nothing good's for free Well that may be, but you're walking home to me

Dear Wormwood by the Oh Hellos, the ORIGINAL Bane/Jame song, for which I could easily do a line-by-line breakdown cast as a duet between them, the song that I, personally, would set over their last conversation before Bane’s death and over Jame’s flight from the palace, if I was making a TV series, just, you know, if anyone wants to kick me a couple million bucks

I know who I am now And all that you've made of me I know who you are now And I name you my enemy

Glitter & Gold by Barns Courtney, for the Kendar, survivors to the last

Do you walk in the valley of kings? Do you walk in the shadow of men Who sold their lives to a dream? Do you ponder the manner of things In the dark?

Delilah by Florence + the Machine, for Jamethiel Dreamweaver, the first unfallen darkling, the finest weapon and cruelest victim of the Master’s schemes, and for her daughter, who saw more and ran faster

Too fast for freedom Sometimes it all falls down These chains never leave me I keep dragging them around

We Have It All by Pim Stones, for Tyrandis, just...listen to it, I’m right

There's glory ahead, but our love will be forgotten If my heart was still mine, I would go to the bottom And apologise to you until the day it went rotten

Mercy Down by Shayfer James, which is THE definitive song for the entire Kencyrath--half-desperate for their missing destiny, half-terrified of that destiny when it shows up at their door.

It’s getting mythical now You better pick your weapons up And throw your mercy, throw your mercy down

THE EXTENDED STUFF (loosely sorted by topic)

Control by Halsey, for Jame, heir to the Dreamweaver, Snare-of-Souls, and learning to dance and running away

They sent me away to find them a fortune A chest filled with diamonds and gold The house was awake, with shadows and monsters The hallways, they echoed and groaned

Little Boy by Barns Courtney, for Torisen holding the bones of a little girl who died at the same age as his long lost twin sister

Little boy inside my chest Breathe some life into my bones I've been lost and wandering Down and out and missing home

The Draw by Bastille, for Torisen and the shade of Ganth and the promise of madness on a sleepless night

Don't listen to your friends See the despair behind their eyes Don't listen to your friends They only care and want to know why

Carry Your Throne by Jon Bellion, for Jame and Tori at their best, kissing in the ashfall and dancing in Tentir

Two crowns and a gold cup And they're coming for the throne, love But if your heart is a dog fight Then I'm ready to go to war like

Coming Down by Halsey, for Jame and the twin she loves, who is always, always running away from her

Every single night pray the sun will rise Every single time make a compromise Every single night pray the sun will rise, but It's coming down, down, coming down

Graveyard by Halsey, for Jame and Tori and dreams and the soulscape and running and chasing and trying

I keep running when both my feet hurt I won't stop 'til I get where you are Oh, when you go down all your darkest roads I woulda followed all the way to the graveyard

Thick as Thieves by Shinedown, for Jame and Tori, who can barely have a civil conversation but still manage to be each other’s answer to the concept of ‘home’

Evidently, we can't work it out I guess that courage ain't allowed Evidently, you're not in the mood And everything I say just bothers you

The Horror of Our Love by Ludo, for Bane and Jame, and blood and binding, and shadows crossing continents

I'm a killer, cold and wrathful Silent sleeper, I've been inside your bedroom I've murdered half the town Left you love notes on their headstones I'll fill the graveyards until I have you

Irresistible by Fall Out Boy, for Bane in Tai-tastigon, a prince of the city and a monster in his beloved’s kitchen

Too many war wounds and not enough wars Too few rounds in the ring and not enough settled scores Too many sharks, not enough blood in the waves You know I give my love a four letter name

Hellfire by Barns Courtney, for Bane, giving your soul to the wrong person, and the Lower Town

Run in an alleyway Through a dead end street Murdering promises That I just can't keep

Punch Drunk Grinning Soul by Flogging Molly, for all the Kendar who keep surviving disasters while their people fall all around them, and especially for Marc and Brier

But these tired eyes are crashing down on me While the paint never dries on these four walls that now suffocate me But tonight, maybe tonight all will be free

Sleepsong by Bastille, for soulscapes and locked doors and armor and hidden gardens and a whole race with a collective unconscious who still manage to be awfully lonely

Oh, in the strangest dreams, walking by your side It is the hole you impose upon your life When you're out, loneliness, it crawls up in the ground It's what you feel, but can't articulate out loud

Bad Decisions by Bastille, for Tentir and all the children there who thought they were immortal

Do you remember what you said to me? 'Cause we lost track of time Yeah, we lost track of time You always let me down so tenderly So live fast and die young and stay forever numb

For The Departed by Shayfer James, for every Kendar who’s ever sold a soul, broken under Honor’s Paradox, died in service, and gone unremembered

So dry your eyes and count to ten They'll have me on the pyre by then Forget the man I used to be You'll move along more easily

Bones by MS MR, for death banners, and for the dead of Kithorn, and for Dalis-sar, depending on my mood

Dig up her bones but leave the soul alone Let her find a way to a better place Broken dreams and silent screams Empty churches with soulless curses We found a way to escape the day

I Am Stretched On Your Grave by Dead Can Dance, for sisterkin, for the massacre of the Knorth women, but especially for Brenwyr and her ghost and her maledight madness

Calling out to the air With tears both hot and wild Oh I grieve for the girl That I loved as a child

NFWMB by Hozier, for Brenwyr and Aerulan (and could be for Jame and Tori but he’s, you know, an ostrich with his head buried in his own trauma)

Ain't it a gentle sound, the rolling in the graves? Ain't it like thunder under earth, the sound it makes? Ain't it exciting you, the rumble where you lay? Ain't you my baby, ain't you my baby?

Church by Fall Out Boy, for everyone who’s ever fallen in love with Jame, from Dally to Torisen

Oh, the things that you do in the Name of what you love You are doomed but just enough

Renegades by X Ambassadors, for the good times in Tai-tastigon with Dally and Canden

It's our time to make a move It's our time to make amends It's our time to break the rules Let's begin

Breath of Life by Florence + the Machine, for everyone who’s ever fallen to the Knorth glamour and paid dearly for it

But I needed one more touch Another taste of heavenly rush And I believe, I believe it's so

#kencyrath #chronicles of the kencyrath #jame priests bane #torisen black lord #kindrie soul walker #and...everyone else basically. eventually.#i have BIG thoughts about some of these (like dear wormwood and home to me and hey brother. just as a sample.)#and others (like punch drunk grinning soul) i just threw on there because I Vibed With It #THERE'S NO SYSTEM except also the system is elaborate #i certainly can't explain it either way #this was a delightful way to cruise comfortably down off a day of hyperfocus #i love these books so much #i love the music i put together for them #it all just FEELS very on point to me personally #AND IN A FANDOM THIS SMALL WHAT ELSE MATTERS #well actually in any fandom what else matters #i think i am losing focus here #a queue we shall keep and our honor someday avenge #smallblueandloud #asked and answered

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queenharumiura · 4 years ago

Note

B, E, L, P, H, A, G, O, R

Taken from meme: [x] ||Accepting|| ((I see what you did there and it’s beautiful. A++ ))

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

In regards to KHR, it’s hard to find any ship that I didn’t consider, because there was a time when I went crazy thinking of all sorts of ships (boy/boy, boy/girl, girl/girl. Don't test me). Still, there is an answer because this ship started it all. Hibari x Haru lol. At the time they were my favorite female and male character in KHR. My friend joked and said, “If you love them both so much, just ship them together.” History was made that day. Coincidentally I’ve cosplayed both. I will never show them off because they aren’t good lol. That started my descent down: This is fun, let’s ship almost anything I can find. Ships didn't necessarily have to be romantic either. I love exploring friendships and also just sibling dynamics as well. Haru adopting people? Yes please.

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

I feel like I’m a troll in general, so I have added something cracky to any fandom that I’m in. Two things I can think of atop my head are ‘you reblogged a dare meme and you dare think I won’t ask Mukuro/Hibari/Alaude/Daemon to wear cat ears? HA!!!! YOU THOUGHT!!’. Another would be that I like puns, so if I see my chance to pun in a meme, I will. I always ask first before I send, however. It usually results in silliness, as you could imagine and Haru running away in fear.

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

I guess I’m neutral about Dr.Shamal so he should count? Mn...despite the way he is with women and the way he refuses to treat male patients, he’s a smart guy and talented at what he does. He was also utilized well in putting Gokudera’s character into perspective more. Additionally, he is a good example of, ‘Haru will punch you out if you cross the boundaries,’ and I appreciate him for that. His sacrifice wasn’t in vain. Never forget how he is the reason why Mukuro was able to use Sakura blossoms against Hibari in the first place. This man--- the damage he has caused.

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

I’m assuming this is asking for me to create an AU for Haru as she’s placed in a different fandom. If that’s correct, I am going to casually pretend that I don’t know the difference between a fandom and a genre by going: “I’ve been reading way too many isekai recently and I think it would be funny to consider Haru getting sent to an otome or something and her being a super sassy and head strong FL. Watch her instantly try to change her identity or run away from bad male leads with all her might. I would live for this, thank you. Haru is also smart and adapts well, so she’d be able to adapt to whatever world setting she’s put in and she doesn’t hate studying, so she’d be able to pick up on the intricacies of her new world. Mainly, I just want a FL who will actually smack the life out of a ML if he’s being a POS. I NEED THIS. It’s emotional healing.

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

I really like sourcing things in novels or manga/manhwa/manhua a lot. Animated sources are good too, but it’s much quicker for me to go through something that’s written, so I tend to prefer those now days. Anything that’s easier for me to binge is A+.

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

I’m answering strictly based off this blog in it’s current state, else you’ll be here forever. If I talk about ships in KHR in general, you’ll actually be here forever. No @ tags bc I’m feeling shy today. I personally love the dynamic between Gokudera and Haru (platonic or romantic). I’ve historically liked BelHaru, and it looks like it may become a thing in RPC as well. Haru is warily staring from a comfortable distance atm. Haru has a friendly relationship with a Byakuran at the moment. They’re baking a cake! She is generally very friendly with any Tsuna I encounter.

Ravein/Pino… yeah, I self-thread sometimes. Haru has a sibling kinda dynamic with Ravein which is really just a friendship dynamic. It’s the same with Pino. Mizumachi and Haru are both energetic, hyper buddies. Hibari—I aim for just a casual lowkey friendship kinda dynamic. Shame in self-threading? Never heard of her.

The best way to describe her relationship with Zelman in a ‘Black Blood Brothers’ au is ‘hey I just moved into the territory you lord. Hello!’ I think this would go down a friendship route and I’m so for it. Kajika from ‘Hanasakeru Seishonen’ has a friendship with Haru and they just get along swimmingly well. I think the mun for Rentaro ‘Black Bullet’ returned, so I think he can count. Haru has a friendship with him and they’re cooking buddies! They joined a cooking association together!

Haru also has friendships with Emi (KHR oc), and Luca (KHR oc), both of which are in the Varia!au setting that I have for Haru. Emi in particular, Haru has decided to adopt her as a little sis and will pummel anyone who bullies her. Luca--- sometimes in conjunction with Ravein (my OC) drive Haru insane. It’s a trio of dumb, dumbest, and ‘hey I’m the dumbest!’.

The ‘ships’ that I have with Haru are usually always friendship and ‘hey I’m arbitrarily adopting you’ and I love it.

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

Eh--- in RPC, my very first one... I believe, was GokuHaru. I currently have a GokuHaru (A different blog) in an AU for a TYL setting. I think I got very close to HibaHaru before, which is, a guilty pleasure ship of mine. Haru is treading into BelHaru territory right now in RPC and that is also, a guilty pleasure ship of mine. In the distant past there was also a TsuHaru (I know, I know, shocking) which was a reincarnated lovers Yakuza AU. That was a fun one. Also in the distant past, there was an AU for a MukuHaru as well. Le kek. I am a multi-ship blog and all ships have existed in different worlds/universes, therefore they all quality as an OTP in their own specific verse. I cheated, yes.

Pro-tip: I may warily stare from afar if shipping is a topic, but the moment you suggest an AU SHIP? I’m down. To further explain, these AU ships have always taken place in a very different timeline/world than what we know in KHR. So therefore I can feel all the freedom to do as I please and figure out characterizations based off what I need.

PS. in regard to KHR in general, my first OTP was GokuHaru and GokuYama. Le kek.

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

I took my library of songs and randomized. I got: ‘Get Off My Back’ by Bryan Adams and Eliot Kennedy. So, by the vibe of the music, the first things that come to mind are either GokuHaru or BelHaru, I’m not going to lie. Now… who is saying these words, I’ll leave it to the imagination. I really like this song, but I really like the cover by Jonathan Young.

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

Oh—that’s hard. Friendship dynamics are so fun! I really like Ryohei and Hibari’s dynamic together which could be depicted as friendship. The friendship between a lot of the guardians is just //chef kiss. However, the TRUE SHOW STOPPER in my heart is the friendship between the girls. I really love how all the girls build each other up and always support each other. I love it so much. Especially when the girls are there for Chrome, I CRY. When they support Yuni, I CRY. When I think about how big sis Bianchi looks after the girls and teaches them things- I CRY. I just cry. I love all the friendships in KHR, but the ones the girls share with each other wins in my book. I don’t take criticisms.

#Belacedia #Meme answered #answered ask #thanks for the ask!#Neo speaks #((Phew-- this took me a while but I did it))#((Got pretty long but I mean what else did we expect?))

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forlornmelody · 5 years ago

Text

Kord Center Mall: Out In The Rain, In From The Cold

Rating: E (the nerdiest smut you’ll read all week.)

Fandom(s): DC Comics, Jack Nought from Mass Effect makes an appearance, but familiarity with the game is not important

Ship: Rose Wilson/Jason Todd, mentions of Jason/Roy/Jack

Linkage: Ao3

Summary: Rose is finally ready to come clean with Jason, and admit the feelings she has for him. But is it too late?

Note: This is a cross over, mall-verse AU concocted by @scifi-ginger and myself. You’ve been warned. Also, I just want to state, for the record, that I wrote this before Titans: E.L._.O. hit the internet. I have the Tumblr snippets to prove it.

–>–>

The ground’s so dry when she leaves Cassie’s, Rose doesn’t even think to grab a jacket on the way. By the time she reaches Jason and Roy’s apartment, the sky’s dumping car-wash levels of water on the bus. Even though it only takes her five minutes to walk to the building, Rose’s clothes are sticking to her when she rings the doorbell. Lightning cracks in the clouds behind her.

Opening the door, Roy’s face flashes bright and dark as the thunder rolls around them. “Rose.”

“Roy.” Rose takes a breath. “Hey. Uh--”

“Fuck off,” Jack calls from the couch. “Jason doesn’t want to see you.”

Yeah. She deserves that. “Could you at least tell him I’m here?” Rose says it to Roy, not Jack.

Lighting flashes two more times before Roy sighs. “Fine.” He holds up a hand to keep Jack back. “But I swear if you hurt him again--”

“Fuck, Roy. I’m here to apologize.” Rose glances at Jack as she steps gingerly through the doorway. “Nice to see you, too. Jack flips a finger in response.

Just as Rose knocks on Jason’s door, the power goes out. “Oh come on!” Jason yells from the other side of the door, and she hears the crash of a controller hitting the floor and the rolling of batteries as they fall out.

Rose has perfect timing. She clears her throat, reaching to knock a second time when Jason opens the door. His cellphone casts soft grey light along his jaw and highlights the sheen on his nose. “If you’re an axe-murderer, I’ll--Rose!?”

“Hey,” she says softly, pulling out her own phone to cast some light---only to realize it died on the way here. “Shit.” Better not fuck this up.

Jason lingers in his doorway, his eyes roaming over her like she’ll vanish any second. “Didn’t expect to see you.”

“Yeah. Me either.” Rose dares to step closer, looking up at him. “Can I come in?” Jason hesitates ever so slightly, but it’s enough to kick Rose in the gut. She deserves that, too.

“Sure.” He steps to the side, swinging his arm wide. Jason never kept a tidy room. Rose would constantly remake the bed before she left. If she brought pizza, she’d have to clear off the beer bottles and carefully move the bong out of the way. But Jason always took care of his books--bookmarking them, closing them gently and sorting them on the shelves by genre, author, title, routinely cleaning them with a fucking feather duster. At this point, Jason doesn’t even have a bedroom--he has a personal library with a bed in it. Right now--it looks like a tornado had swept through the shelves.

“Fuck.” Rose muttered under her breath, frozen in the doorway.

“Did you come here to talk, or to judge me?” Jason folds his arms, and Rose notices the bags under his eyes for the first time. She’s reaching to push the hair from his eyes before she catches herself.

“To apologize,” Rose says quickly, ducking inside before Jason can change his mind. She finds a Complete Works of William Shakespeare lying open in the middle of his bed. Obviously, it’s too dark to read, but she’d know the size and thickness of that book anywhere. One of Jason’s favorites.

Rose sets it aside, sitting on the edge of the bed with one foot draped across her lap. Jason lingers by the door, but he does close it behind him. His eyes track the movement of the book before daring to glance at her again. “Why’d you come back?”

“I missed you.” Rose says. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, she chants over and over in her brain, but “sorry” doesn’t feel good enough right now. Jason deserves the world, and Rose is just a tiny island wracked with storms.

Jason’s eyes soften ever so slightly before they harden--cold as steel. “Missed what, exactly?”

Rose allows herself a small smile. Jason loves the big questions--meaning of life, origins of the universe, whether true love exists--he always has his head up in the clouds. Meanwhile Rose stands back on earth--rooted in doing things--going, doing, fucking, eating, breathing. The thunder outside nearly drowns out her words. “I missed the way your eyes change color when you’re angry, happy, or sad. The way you smile when you think no one is looking.” She itches to get closer to him--show him exactly how much he means to her, but it’s not her choice to make. “The way you forget the world around you when you’re reading.” Her voice thickens, with love or want--she isn’t sure. “The way your face lights up when Roy comes in the room.”

Is it still raining? Rose isn’t sure. All she can hear is the thundering of her pulse in her ears and the sound of their breathing. Jason still hasn’t said a word or moved an inch--him and his fucking poker face.

At first Rose thinks her eyes are straining to see him in the darkness, but then she feels a tear slip down her cheek. Damnit. This is why she doesn’t do this stuff. Love, real love, hurts. “I realized I didn’t want to live without that. I didn’t want to live without you. I don’t want to.” Jason probably can’t even understand what she’s saying at this point, with the way her breath keeps shaking her voice.

Jason finally looks away, and Rose nods to herself. Figures. It’s too late for them. It’s always too late. “Sorry,” she mutters, standing up and wiping her nose and eyes. It’s gonna be a bitch getting home in this weather, but she’ll manage. Rose always does. She’s halfway to the door when Jason grabs her hand.

“Where’re you going?” he says softly, squeezing her hand.

“I…” I’m going home, Rose says in her mind, but the words don’t ring true. She turns, daring to face him. “Not sure.”

“Stay.” Jason tugs her ever so slightly, and she falls into his arms like she just jumped off a building. He reeks. Always has. Like dank weed and cheap beer. Rose wouldn’t have him any other way.

“Jerk my arm why don’t you?” His laugh rumbles against her chest and she pulls back just enough to look at his face. Rose traces his features with her fingertips, reacquainting herself with the tip of his nose, the jut of his eyebrows, the firmness of his lips.

Everything’s so desaturated in the dim room, but Jason’s eyes shine the brightest blue. “I love you, too.”

Rose couldn’t tell who kissed who first. She’s too busy tasting his mouth and messing with his hair. Jason breaks for air, only to pay careful attention to where her jaw meets her neck. His hands roam her shoulders, arms, sides and stomach as if he can’t get enough of her. He has far too many clothes on. No zipper on Jason’s hoodie, so Rose lifts it to his shoulders, but he gets tangled in the sleeves. “Candles,” Rose says hoarsely.

Jason peeks at her blankly through the bottom of his hoodie.

“Please tell me you have some. Jack’s surely got enough to set the apartment on fire but I’m not keen on asking her tonight.”

“Be right back.” Jason frees himself of his shirt and hoodie, slipping out the door shirtless.

Rose sits on the bed, unable to sit still, still humming with the thrill of his touch. She glances back at the Tome, and switches Jason’s phone’s flashlight on so she can finally read it. Jason has it open to Sonnet 87,

“Farewell! thou art too dear for my possessing,

And like enough thou knowst thy estimate.

The Charter of thy worth gives thee releasing;

My bonds in thee are all determinate.

For how do I hold thee but by thy granting,

And for that riches where is my deserving?”

Rose swallows, reaching to close the book when Jason comes back inside--his arms full of candles. He freezes when he realizes what she's reading.

“Oh, hey. Lemme take care of that.” Jason sets the candles on his tv stand, reaching for the book.

Rose swats his hand. “Candles.”

Rolling his eyes, Jason replies. “Fine. Fine.”

Leaning back, Rose watches as the candles, lit one by one, cast a soft glow along the lines of Jason’s body. She doubts she’ll ever tire of the view.

Lighting the last candle, Jason whisks around, lighter still in his hand. He nods down at the book. “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

“Interesting choice. Real depressing.” Rose kicks her heels against his box spring.

Setting the lighter aside, Jason grins slowly. “Actually. Hold on a sec.” He kneels, clearing a space on the floor.

Rose stares at him. “No. Absolutely not. Your floor is a fucking mess.”

“Don’t worry. You won’t be touching it.” Space cleared, Jason glances up at Rose. “Hand me Shakespeare.”

“Whatever.” Rose hefts it over, eyes widening as Jason sets it reverently in the space he cleared. “You’re shitting me.”

Jason snickers, shaking his head. “C’mon. The book may be hard, but the pages are soft.”

“Oh my god. I’m couching you for that.” Rose chides, but she gets down from the bed anyway. She glances at him one last time before sitting gently between the pages.

“Better.” Jason’s eyes have darkened to a warm green. The fact that a dead playwright and poet makes him all hot and bothered never ceases to amuse her. “Lean back.”

Rose rolls her eyes, grabbing a pillow and stuffing it beneath her arms.

Jason makes quick work of Rose jeans, shucking them off and tossing them across the room. Rose snorts as they take down a couple bottles in their fall. “Tell me if you’ve heard this one before.” His grins as he lowers himself to her neck.

“What’s in a name?” Jason murmurs into her skin, his voice as reverent as a priest’s on Sunday. His fingers drag the zipper of her soaked hoodie down her chest, and goosebumps prick across her skin.

“That which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet.” Jason lavishes attention where her neck meets her shoulder, and Rose’s so caught up in his touch she almost doesn’t catch the reference. Almost.

“Romeo and Juliet? Really?” she snorts, pulling back to give him a look of disdain. “Most overrated play ever.”

“It’s a classic.” Jason pouts, his fingers edging underneath her t-shirt--a suitable challenge with the way the fabric sticks to her skin. He dives to kiss her collarbone. “And it has your name in it.”

“Jace, they off themselves because they’re impatient hormonal teenagers.” A moan slips from her mouth as he kisses from her waist to her chest, pushing her shirt up and out of the way. “It’s not romantic.”

Dragging the shirt and her bra up and over her head, Jason grins at her. Oh, he knows. “So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call’d.”

“Do you put Jack and Roy through this? Or am I special?”

Jason doesn’t linger on her breasts, just moves her damp bra off her skin, hanging it on one of his bedposts. “Retain that dear perfection with he owes.” He plants a reverent kiss in the valley between them.

“I am special, aren’t I?” Rose groans, for more reasons than one.

Instead of answering, Jason snickers against her skin, breathing her in. “Without that title. Romeo doff thy name, and for that name which is no part of thee,”

Rose has another comeback coming, somewhere, but it’s hard enough trying to keep her breathing steady the farther south Jason travels with his mouth. He stops just north of her thighs, grinning up at her. “Oh, come on, already,” she groans again, letting her head fall back.

Jason wets his lips and tongue, waiting for her to look at him again. Once he has her full attention, he whispers, “Take all myself.”

Then he plants a kiss against her clit, and Rose shudders despite herself. “Really? You think some, some poetry is gonna, oh.”

She can feel his grin as he toys with her licking gently around but never quite touching where she wants him most. His hair musses in her fingers as he kisses deeper, harder, licking her with nice, long strokes. Jason moans with her, the hum reverberating across her skin. Rose’s hips rise off the book and Jason holds her down with one arm. Pausing, Jason licks one finger, then another, and Rose can’t help but cry out his name as they thrust in and out of her while he lavishes attention on her clit. Fuck, she’s probably tearing his hair out, but she can’t help it. Now she’s so close she’s--

Jason pulls back, kissing her thigh, and Rose curses him and half his family. “I take thee at thy word:”

Fuck her, she’s pleading, pulling him back. “Jace, please. I need.”

Snickering, Jason plants a soothing kiss on her thigh before gathering her hands to her right side, holding them still. “Call me but love, and I’ll be new baptized;” he murmurs as he wets his lips again. Something in her belly roils as she realizes what he’s planning.

Mm, yeah, Jack and Roy definitely heard that scream. Let them, Rose thinks, until she can’t anymore, so focused on Jason’s feather light touch against her clit. She’s so close to falling right off the cliff when he pulls back again. This time, Rose bites her tongue, shaking as she waits for him to continue.

Jason watches her come down from the brink, his smile wide (and his lips covered in her slick), and his eyes bright. Part of Rose wants to hide from that look--she doesn’t deserve it--she’ll break his heart--he’ll find out what she’s really like and he won’t look at her like that any-- Squeezing her hands, Jason pulls Rose from her thoughts, and she swallows hard as she allows her walls to come crashing down. “Jason, I--”

“Shh. We’re almost there,” he whispers, kissing her hands, squeezing them again. Waiting until she’s relaxed again, Jason leans down one last time, his words barely audible, “Henceforth I never will be Romeo.” He brings her back slowly, using his fingers as well as his tongue, seemingly touching her anywhere and everywhere at once. Sliding one finger inside her, then another, he closes his eyes, gracing her with long, slow licks, pumping and curling. Rose isn’t even sure what sounds are coming out of her mouth anymore, as her hips rise and fall with his fingers.

Her world flashes whiter and hotter than lightning.

Maybe seconds pass, maybe hours, when Rose finally opens her eyes. The candles have nearly guttered out, and Jason lies, with his clothed legs intertwined with her bare ones. Rose should pay him back for that--when she finds the energy. She leans her forehead against his, murmuring. “Power still out?”

“Yeah.” Jason reaches out, trailing a hand down her bare back.

“You need to clean off the bed before the candles burn out.”

Jason groans, holding her tighter. “Fine.” He releases her standing up stiffly and reaching for the stuff scattered across his bed. “Love you too, Rose,” he muttered under his breath.

Rose sits up quickly, grabbing his hand. “Wait.”

Looking down at her in exasperation, Jason asks blankly, “What?”

“I love you.” The words feel so strange coming off her tongue, but Rose knows them to be true. “Meant to say it earlier but you were too busy going down on me and quoting lines to listen.”

Jason pulls her to her feet, and into a kiss. “You can say it whenever you want.”

Rose’s so busy tasting herself on his lips she almost doesn’t notice the hiss of the guttering candles. “Shit.”

“What?” Jason pulls back, looking around at nothing. “Fuck.”

#jayrose #dc comics #jason todd #rose wilson #au #mallverse #kord center mall #melody writes #jason is a nerd #I don't make the rules #and rose loves him for it

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chaoslived-a-blog · 8 years ago

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this couldn’t be happening, not again, not now... but wasn’t this what happened when bud got blocked from demolishing where he should be building? they move on to the next place. F U C K. he didn’t want to move because moving meant losing her and if he lost her, then what was the point?

jd was bloody and bruised, after the fight he had with bud which had quickly turned into ‘ we are leaving whether you like it or not so go say goodbye to your little girlfriend ’. he was used to bud wanting to leave as quickly as possible but this was different, he didn’t want to leave and it was obvious that was because of veronica.

fuck... how was he supposed to tell her? that a week from now, he wouldn’t be living here, he would be gone and living somewhere else. he didn’t even know where because bud hadn’t given him such information yet, all he knew was they were leaving sherwood, ohio.

jd was sat on his bike, a cigarette dangling from his lips, bruises growing on his cheek and he was shaking, just hoping that veronica would know to come here because he was not going to her house to have this conversation.

#deadwalked #;; hey. mr no-name kid { IC }#;; don’t you dare think i’ll ever forget you { MOVED AWAY VERSE }#;; greetings and salutations { STARTER }

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chalantness · 4 years ago

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This completely slipped my mind yesterday when I made the update, but since I always try to give a preview, you can find the full first scene of chapter four of the mafia verse below!

I’m hopeful I’ll have it ready by Friday or even Thursday, so thank you darlings for waiting!

chapter four sneak peek:

“I know you aren’t nearly as chatty as Tony or Peter, but I’m starting to feel offended by how quiet you’ve been today.”

Natasha turns to find her Aunt Maria watching her, her eyes glinting as she sets a fork back down on the table arranged with plate settings. To her credit, the woman hadn’t acted the least bit surprised when Natasha asked if she needed help planning next month’s Stark Industries gala, even though Natasha had never shown much interest in her aunt’s role as an event planner before. And yes, her aunt could’ve had someone take over for her decades ago, but the woman loves it too much to give it up anytime soon.

Natasha gives a small smile and a shrug that she knows her aunt will take as an apology, and the woman exhales a laugh. “You think I would’ve learned by now that waiting for you Starks to offer up your problems is a lost cause,” Aunt Maria comments dryly.

“You’re a Stark, too, you know,” Natasha points out.

“By marriage, darling. I don’t have the same stubborn gene as the rest of you, no matter how much your uncle and cousin like to claim otherwise.” Natasha’s smile widens as she shakes her head, and her aunt comes to stand in front of her, reaching up to brush a few stray strands of Natasha’s hair behind her ear. “If you were my son, I’d have to ask thirty questions before he ran out of witty remarks and finally confessed,” she adds, “but my much more sensible niece wouldn’t put me through that game, would she?”

“No, she’ll just keep her confessions to herself,” Natasha retorts, though her voice doesn’t sound as nonchalant as she’d intended.

She knows that her aunt notices it as well because her eyes twinkle. “Does this have anything to do with you spending all of your time with Steve Rogers these days?”

Despite herself, Natasha breathes out a laugh. She’s not particularly surprised that her aunt latches onto this of all things, but she’ll admit that it’s a nice change in pace from having to talk about “Sarah Rogers” or theories on who the hell drove a car through the front of the club.

“Does that seem like something your niece would ever be distracted with?” Natasha asks.

Aunt Maria shrugs as she admits, “I didn’t think you could be distracted at all. Even as a toddler, you were so focused. It was a little unsettling for your parents.”

This makes Natasha pause. “They’ve never told me that.”

“Most children don’t know much about their parents in that sense,” her aunt points out as she perches herself on one of the many sample chairs artfully draped in chiffon and ribbons, patting the seat beside hers for Natasha to follow. “We tell you fun stories and we tell you about what you were like growing up, but we don’t necessarily tell you all the little things we had to learn, or how worried we were every hour of the day. Your parents were much better at hiding it than Howard and I, but they were no exception.”

Natasha exhales a chuckle. “Honestly, it’s hard to picture my parents with a child at all, even if that child was me.”

It’s not the first time the thought has crossed her mind, though she’ll admit she doesn’t really know where the sentiment comes from. She’s never once felt as if her parents regret having her, or would choose any differently if they could. She knows they love her and she’s never once doubted that. Seeing her mother in that photo with Joseph Rogers had been shocking, but it also felt a little bit like something had finally clicked into place. At least now she understood why something always felt off about their story.

It wasn’t something that was brought up much to begin with, but considering the circumstance as to why, Natasha hadn’t felt it was suspicious. The only reason her father and Uncle Howard had gone to Europe to begin with had been because her aunt and uncle were having problems with their marriage, though they’d never shared what the fighting had been about, nor had they really shared why the brothers had stayed on another continent for an entire year before Uncle Howard came back to sort things out with Aunt Maria. All Natasha knows is that her parents had met early into this trip and had Natasha overseas, and they’d gotten married only days after her father brought her mother back to the States with him. Natasha and Tony had always found the whole story odd, but they didn’t have any real reason not to believe what their parents told them, either.

“It was certainly a surprise when your father came home with you and your mother,” Aunt Maria says, and Natasha turns just in time to catch something flicker in her aunt’s eyes—amusement, maybe, though it’d been far too quick to tell. “He’s never been impulsive.”

“Neither has Mom,” Natasha points out. “And yet, she met Dad, had me, and moved to an entirely different country within the same year.”

“Your uncle likes to take credit for having that one influence over your father in that sense.” Her aunt smooths a hand over Natasha’s hair, her smile softening. “I know it seems like that year is something we want to forget, but without your uncle and your father taking that trip, we wouldn’t have you. I wouldn’t want things to be any different.”

Natasha gives her a small grin. “That’s because you and Uncle Howard like to pretend that I’m your daughter,” she teases, tilting her head as she adds, “though Uncle Howard definitely fusses over me as if that were true. Maybe even more so than my actual father.”

There’s a pause before Aunt Maria asks, “Does that bother you?”

Natasha shakes her head. “He’s been that way my entire life, Aunt Maria. If it bothered me, I would’ve said something by now.”

“But something is bothering you?” her aunt asks, and Natasha almost smiles at the tone of her voice. It’s one that she’s heard Aunt Maria use with Tony all his life; one that says she already knows the answer is yes and is expecting an explanation instead.

Natasha hesitates. She knows that Aunt Maria is willing to keep a secret for her if she asks, but her aunt would draw the line at staying quiet about Natasha potentially having a stalker, especially after what happened at the club. Honestly, Natasha is very well aware the two could be related, and then there’s also the possibility that “Sarah Rogers” may be tied to everything as well, but she’d rather have more to go off of before worrying the family. As soon as they know, they’ll be even less willing to let her out of their sight, and she’ll need as much time without one of them hovering over her shoulder as she can manage to find so she and Steve can look into her their parents’ connection.

And no, she doesn’t even consider asking about that, either. She’s almost certain that her aunt and uncle have already known about it, and if they’ve all been intent on keeping quiet about it, Natasha knows that her aunt will tell her parents as soon as she suspects Natasha may have found something out.

Still, there’s one thing her aunt may be willing to keep a secret; and if not, Natasha won’t mind if her uncle hears about it.

“I still find it a little odd that Uncle Howard would ask me to look after Steve,” Natasha admits with a slight shake of her head, because yes, that is still something that crosses her mind despite everything else she has going on. Or maybe even because of all of it. “I know that he and Joseph are close and that’s a big part of why he asked me to reach out, but he’s always been a little overprotective of me, too. I guess I still find it strange that he’d want me around Steve when he knew there would be a lot of heat on him.”

Aunt Maria gives her a little grin that almost looks amused. “If anything, I think you might have been safest with Steve. His two friends are cops, aren’t they?”

“Yes, but Uncle Howard has never trusted cops,” Natasha points out.

“And yet he’s relieved that Steve’s friends have been there for Wanda ever since that drive-by,” her aunt says, and Natasha feels herself pause, surprised. “Joseph Rogers is someone very few would dare to threaten and he’s still missing,” Aunt Maria reminds gently. “Things are changing, darling. Your uncle just wants to keep you safe.”

Natasha holds her aunt’s stare, feeling her chest tighten ever so slightly. “Because I’m in danger?”

Aunt Maria hums, giving Natasha’s shoulder a squeeze. “Because he loves you,” she answers simply as she stands, turning away. And Natasha knows that, at least for now, that’s all her aunt is willing to share.

#chanty blahs #chanty's wips

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caffeinated-yearning · 4 years ago

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Oh perhaps I got a wee bit carried away. Here’s some follow-up to the one that byte posted a bit ago, following Oliver’s side of things since he’s the Me One. Featuring a little of Byte and a little of the byte-verse Doctor Octavius. Tagging @werewolfpine because it’s a continuation of his fit and features a little of his S/I at the end (and also because I did do a little reformatting since the doc oop)

Word Count: ~2.2 k Warnings: violence, angsty narrative tone, probably difficult to read because it’s very stream of consciousness

- but he swung a metal bar at Byte’s head- “Ollie! Why are you doing this? Please, talk to me!”-

Doc Ock’s tentacles, in constant motion, seemed to slow behind him at this new information. Rippled and writhed with the horror of it. “...Nate?”

Oliver glared at this person that wore the costume of New York’s beloved vigilante; glowered at this person that wore Nathan’s face in the New York night; felt downright malevolent at having guessed this twist a hundred times prior and every time having filed it away as ludicrous because there was simply no way that fate would have woven Oliver into Nathan’s foe. He was furious, because he should have known it even if it had all seemed just a little too poetic for the universe to do. He didn’t want it to be possible, which was exactly why he had discredited each piece of evidence and chosen to believe the thin and frail excuses he’d been handed.

“Listen,” Spider-Byte raised his hands to his chest- pressing them to his heart only leaves an opening, “I can explain. I… I know what you’re thinking.” Writhing, agony-stricken, claws and tentacles that lashed with unspent energy away from him. “Or, I guess I don’t, I never do, but… Just-.”

A hideous rattling crunching ripping and tearing as Doc Ock pulled scaffold apart. Bitter and bitter and bitterer still. “Nathan..?” And how dare the vigilante be wearing the face of his best friend and how dare he tell Oliver that he was in the wrong and how dare he be right when Oliver had always had to be the right one before?!

How the HELL DARE HE?

“wAIT! Just-just listen to me!” And Nathan ran at Doc Ock; if Ock had his glasses still, perhaps he would see the desperation in that so-human face. A metal bar swung at Nathan’s head- get him away, get us away, get me away,- and Nathan caught it and and Nathan has had this sort of strength for who knows how long at this point. “Ollie! Why are you doing this? Please, talk to me!”

Oliver hated that perhaps worst of all; that Nate was Nathan was Spider-Byte, that he wanted to talk, that he called him by that stupid diminutive nick-name that Oliver loved because Ollie was a softer version of himself, a version that he didn’t let himself be, because he’d been taught for so long that softness was weakness. That Oliver was going to be better than most, and so he didn’t have time to be soft. Hated that Nathan had kept being Oliver’s friend despite every effort of Doc Ock to destroy Spider-Byte. He hated every blasted domino in the whole tower of his life that now came crashing down around him, and every little bread-crumb that now made perfect sense.

Oliver swiped at his eyes to clear the salt and water/dropped the metal beam still clasped in Byte’s arms/lashed out to knock Nathan off his feet in the span of three seconds. Turned tail and ran, down the streets, searching for the start of where his internal map made sense and where he could start to make his way back to his dungeon-like domain.

And tomorrow, Byte-who-is-Nathan will still be in class like he has been every other time that someone was causing a problem and the Spider had to step in, and Nathan has known who I am for months, and he still tries to save me.

“I think I’ve made a grave mistake.”

Doctor Octavius looked up after a moment’s pause. “Well, do you care to elaborate?”

“I… I think I’ve lost one of my dwindling few friends.”

“Well, that does sound grave.” Uncle Otto pushed his computer aside, turning to his student and nephew with one part easygoing authority figure and two parts sincerity. “From what little I’ve heard from you, you really don’t have many friends to spare, even at the best of times.”

“No.” He grit his teeth, held his breath, pressed his nails into his palms with the faint hope that they might break the skin and let him focus on something else. They didn’t, of course, because he had too strong an instinct against pain. Seconds that always seemed to pass too quickly while he struggled to say anything; “I just found out… That one of the people I considered a friend… Probably hasn’t thought of me as anything more than an enemy.” He shook his head; that wasn’t quite right. Nathan wasn’t… He wasn’t like that. “Or maybe I just… Maybe it’s my fault. Maybe I made an enemy of my friend. I really am insufferable.”

“Have you spoken to this friend about this yet?”

“Not… As such.” He tried to forget that Oliver/Doc Ock/both of them/all of him had reacted so violently when the Spider had taken off its mask and revealed that the enemy of Doc Ock was the closest friend of Oliver, that both halves were the same thing, that in a world of horrible coincidences this was the worst of them all.

“Listen,” Nathan raised his hands to his chest, “I can explain. I…I know what you’re thinking. Or, I guess I don’t, I never do, but…Just–”

Tried to forget that he had tried to blot it out that he had tried to get rid of it that he had tried to make it go away.

Shook like a leaf in a tempest against the emotions that he had been crushing away for years and years that burst forth at the memory- but [Oliver/Doc Ock/he/they/all] swung a metal bar at [Spider-Byte/Nathan/his sworn enemy/his closest friend]’s head- “Ollie! Why are you doing this? Please, talk to me!”-

Otto nodded, eyes closed behind his tinted glasses. “Perhaps you ought to start with that, then.” He stopped, then added; “or rather, perhaps you should give it a little more time to settle before you do that. You don’t seem to have recovered altogether from the shock.”

Oliver gave a subtle tilt of his head. A half-nod that was all he could muster with his voice threatening to crack like glass in his throat and his body barely responding to any input from the central processor/brain. His mouth struck against incoherent shapes of half-words and syllables and desperate prayers to gods he did not believe in, and was entirely silent.

“Pull that chair over and set your backpack down. There’s no reason for you to stay standing this whole time. You don’t look like you’re in any state to leave, in any event.” It was only by a very slim recollection of sensibilities that Oliver remembered not to let his backpack fall from his shoulders with a heavy thud that even textbooks would not explain. To take it off, set it down. To turn to the chair and pull it over and set it up right and sit in it and make sure the desk was clear and set his glasses aside and then to set about the difficult task of crying in front of someone that was his superior, according to the law of school, according to the law of familial structure. Ugly, a little voice that sounded like a spider or a seraph whispered in the dark of his murky mind. How ugly it is, to cry. You are… weak and ugly, to cry. And it was, in part, calculated, like all things are- this to make him cry harder so that everything would be done with as soon as possible. It was, in part, that he didn’t have any more control over the voice that seemed to be him and not-him than he had over the actions of the people of New York, who thought that he was purely evil, who thought the world of his friend who he thought the world of and had tried to harm. “Wh-what if my-- s-sins are a-already too-o much to bear-?” he asked, in as low a voice as he could, despite the tears and the snot that were going to demand his jacket be washed tonight to prevent anyone seeing that and extrapolating anything with respect to the possibility of Oliver the iron-hearted having cried. “What if I- a-am conde-emned before I ever s-speak?”

“Then the worst case scenario is that you’ve lost a friend. And think how many more people there are; you’ll find other friends. They won’t be the same, but sometimes it can’t be helped. Sometimes you just have to accept that it’ll hurt for a long time, and that there was nothing you could do to change what already happened.” Otto put a hand on Oliver’s shoulder, despite the flinch that he felt even in the midst of that much of what was certainly a humiliating experience already. “But then, that’s the worst case scenario. The best case; want to guess what that will be?”

“I want to be-e a miserable herm-mit who lives in a grotto and n-ever sees the sun.”

“Then I’ll just tell you, since you’re being a miserable little hermit right now. The best case scenario is that it was all a misunderstanding-.”

“Due to circumstance-es that I won’t g-o into, that’s not a po-osibility.”

“-Or else it will be worked out, like a couple of adults and friends ought to do. After the dust has settled, and you can talk about it without fits of hysterics.” The weight of Otto’s palm, the heat of it, the fact that Otto didn’t try to move or change the sensation at all, so that Oliver could focus on that, keep his attention on that; pull himself out of the bog by that little lifeline that had been extended. “The best case scenario is that everything goes back to normal, or as close as it can get, and your friendship doesn’t change.”

“You’re going to tell me that the most probable thing is… Something in between.”

“That your friendship is significantly changed, and that you’ll have to both work on fixing it, or else let it fall apart.”

“Mm.” Oliver rolled his head to one side, his whole face salt-stained and puffy with the awful fact of having cried so much in so short a time. “Are you sure I can’t just change my name and live in a cave?”

“You could, but I’d hate to see my nephew go.” Otto lifted his hand, pulled it back toward himself. “So what did happen between you and Nathan?”

Oliver flinched.

“Really, you two sit side-by-side every day and you expect me to not notice when you choose to sit on the opposite side of the classroom?” Doctor Octavius tsk-ed twice. “You ought to realize that I do have eyes by now, even if I happen to wear these glasses often.”

| One text message from Ollie Ollie Oxen Free |

Nathan looked at the phone blankly. A week and a half of this... of avoiding each other in every conceivable way. He had just gotten to his apartment not ten minutes ago. A week and a half of seeing, occasionally, that bubble (Ollie is typing…) and watching it vanish without anything to show for it. A week and a half of Nathan being that bubble (Nathan is typing…) with nothing to show for it, until the time between Oliver’s little attempts at speaking became days apart, and Nathan’s also slowed, and he assumed that was the end of it.

And now there was an entire text message (!) from Oliver.

What the hell did he want?

‘Have you heard of the man who spent his whole life mining through a mountain range to make sure medical care would be accessible for his village? The trip around the mountains to get a doctor from the next town over took too long and as a result his wife died. In his grief, he cut a path through, so that no one else would have to die due to the length of the path that he had had to travel. I can’t remember his name, but I think that was pretty noble of him. How strange it must be, to have death be the motive for such a drastic change in the physical world? He literally moved mountains.’

Nathan read, and re-read, and tried to figure out just what the fuck this was supposed to mean, because he was tired after a long day of classes, and he still had homework, and there was a constant threat that someone, somewhere, would decide that breaking half the city was a fine way to spend a Wednesday afternoon.

But what the fuck was that supposed to mean? Obviously it meant something, because Oliver always hid his stupid feelings under layers of allegory and associative story-telling instead of being open and honest (or perhaps that was him being as open and honest as he knew how, and if that was the case he needed to learn that sometimes saying what you mean is better than metaphors).

‘I hadn’t heard of that.’ Nathan really tried to say something more, but found that no words came. Well. At least this was almost a dialogue.

‘Do you think Doc Ock will show up in the near future? He’s been quiet for a while I think.’

And if Nathan had never heard a warning before he’d still have understood that this was one.

Spider-Byte stepped out of the window, swinging through the city without a clue as to where he had to go, but knowing he had to go somewhere soon.

#spiderbyte #byteverse #Friend Tag: Byte #[[ Human they Say | Oliver Hoshino ]]#no idea how to tag this #caffeinated writing

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viren-reader-love · 5 years ago

Note

What would you think about doing one where there is a Pentarchy-wide conference of dark mage guild chapters, and the reader is a fellow mage from another country. Viren and Reader don't meet often, but when they do, they predictably end up drinking, arguing vociferously over the details of their methods, and ultimately hooking up. This occasion is no exception.

There you go! I had a lot of fun writing this :D

Hope you like it.

(Ao3 link)

.............................................................................................................................

Devil or angel? I can't make up my mind

Which one you are, I'd like to wake up and find

Devil or angel, dear, whichever you areI miss you, I miss you, I miss you

Devil or angel, please say you'll be mine

Love me or leave me, I'll go out of my mind

Devil or angel, dear, whichever you are

I need you, I need you...

===

The salty air refreshed your lungs. In the distance, hues of green added color to the crystalline blue infinitude of the ocean.

"Land ahoy!" yelled the first mate, watching the horizon from atop of one of the ship's poles.

"Aye!" Replied the captain, turning the hem. You felt the ship move to the right as it approached the island ahead with a new speed.

Clutching tight to your shoulder bag, carefully not to lose the precious relic that it contained, you tried to control the butterflies in your stomach. You knew Viren would be there and this simple fact made all those memories resurface.

Every Mage Fair was the same. Excessive drinking, followed by vociferous arguments about your conflicting opinions and different methods to understand dark magic that, somehow, always end up with you and Viren waking up in the same bed.

Well, not somehow. You knew exactly why it happened. No matter how many lies you told yourself during the invariable hangovers that followed, the attraction you felt for Viren was too strong to be labeled as unintentional, or a simple drunk mistake.

Despite everything, you were starting to get attached. Why? Was the only question in your head. Why him?

Romantics will say it is because opposites attract each other and write countless verses of the ardent passion they can ignite. But they forget about the ugly parts that come afterward. At least that was how it had been for you.

The fair would end, Viren would escort you to the pier and you would sail back to Evenere with only a simple goodbye. No last kiss, not even a hug. And the days that followed were even worse. The letters you would exchange were made by cold and impartial words concerning your duties as High Mages, nothing more.

As the ship approached the bay, you took one deep breath mentally making a promise to yourself.

This had to end.

Today was the day things would change.

===

New faces from all corners of the five kingdoms passed by. The smell of spices and delicious food perfumed the gentle summer breeze and everything was a cacophony of colors, laughs, and songs.

Elaborate stands dotted the hills as far as the eye could see, each signboard announcing something more interesting than the last. Fireball contest, Antiquery Boutiques, Mirrors of Illusions...

Your feet stopped in front of The Blushing Troll - Bar and Inn, where you and Viren would predictably end up after the Pentarchy High Mage reunion. Despite being only the beginning of the afternoon, the bar was crowded and a line was forming on the outside.

The large door opened and you spotted Agata, the barkeeper, dragging chairs outside to accommodate her costumers. "Hey, y/n!" she waved.

You smiled walking to help her with the heavy chairs. "Hi, Agata. Nice to see you again."

"Nice to see you too friend. So, rumor has it that Evenere will blow our minds this year," she winked gesturing to your bag. "I'll prepare a big celebration. Want me to save the romantic suite for you and your hot boyfriend. Or you'll stay at the usual room?"

Your cheeks turned scarlet, knowing fully well she was referring to Viren. "For the last time, he is not my boyfriend."

Agata cackled. "Alright cookie. And I ain't a barkeeper," she playfully punched your shoulder. "See you two tonight alright?"

It was no use insisting on this topic. Agata could be as stubborn as Viren sometimes, so instead, you chose to focus on your earlier promise and said goodbye, resuming your walk to the meeting point where the other High Mages were expecting you.

===

Two guards stood like statues before the imposing construction that marked the entrance of the Pentarchy Meeting Point.

"Hold. Present yourself," one of them ordered, gesturing for you to stop.

"Lady y/n. High Mage of Evenere," you said, giving the guard your invitation sealed with Evenre's royal symbol.

The guards then stepped aside, giving you free passage to the seemingly endless white steps that lead to the Meeting Point, located atop the tallest hill.

Almost out of breath, you finally arrived. Burgundy flags with the bright red symbol of Dark Magic hanged over the five chairs, binding the kingdoms, so vast and diverse, with one common interest.

All the other four mages were already in their sits, except for Viren. "Lady y/n," he bowed. "So glad that you are finally here. We are all very anxious to see what big surprise you have for us," he said with his usual charming tone that made your knees go weak.

"Well, then I won't keep you waiting any longer," you managed to reply with the formality this situation required, despite the memories of your hot nights with Viren flashing before your eyes.

Walking to the center of the room, your gaze was still glued on him as you began your speech. "Fellow mages, today is a historic day. For generations, dark mages across the five kingdoms used the knowledge passed down by our ancestors to improve humanity's ways. We no longer suffer from famine, deadly plagues or fear the threats that come from Xadia. And, as I'm sure you all know, this was only possible due to the struggles of one man: Ziard ."

The mages of Neolandia, Del Bar and Duren hummed in agreement, but Viren listened to you thoughtfully and you smirked, certain his not easily impressed frame would melt away soon.

"Everything Ziard new about dark magic was written in three journals. Two were found by Lord Viren but the third was destroyed when Ziard was brutally murdered by Sol Regen. Or so we thought," you paused.

Reaching for your shoulder bag you retrieved a leather journal, worn-out due to the merciless time. "Here, I present you the last journal of Ziard."

Gasps emerged from the other members, but Viren's reaction was priceless. Even if you hated to admit, you adored his enthusiastic face.

He darted up. "May I?" he gestured to the book and you nodded, letting him take it.

"That is remarkable," Viren mused, carefully turning the thin yellow pages. "Imagine all the secrets it contains, all the lives we could help with this! I don't know how you manage to locate it, but congratulations y/n."

His sharp frame softened when he said your name and for a moment, you thought your head was deceiving you with his sudden kindness. Did he-- did he just complimented you?"

However, this moment was short-lived as Viren continued to speak. "It was about time Evenere did something to contribute to this Dark Mages society. Katolis will be forever grateful for your donation."

"What?!" You said offended.

"Of course! Surely you didn't think the journal would stay with you. Once I return to Katolis I'll provide copies for you all."

"How dare you?! I found it, therefore it's staying at Evenere. You can have the copy," you replied, blood starting to boil.

"The journal belongs to Katolis' archives, with the other two originals," Viren took a step forward. Not intimidated, already accustomed to this type of argument, you took a step as well.

"Katolis is not the center of the world Viren. It can not concentrate all knowledge about dark magic."

"So we must hide it in the depth of the swamplands?!"

"Fellows, fellows!" the mage from Neolandia caught both of your attention. "There is no reason to start a war over this. I say we vote to decide who keeps the journal. All agree?"

You two nodded, heading back to your seats but never letting your intense glares drop.

"Now, all of those in favor of the journal staying in Evenere, please raise their hand," declared the mage and to your astonishment, only you voted in favor.

===

With large gulps you drained the beer from your large mug, slamming it against the balcony of The Blushing Troll.

After your glory was snatched from your hands, you had to sit through the rest of the afternoon and watch Viren and the other brag about their discoveries and theories and, of course, Viren had to bring a three-dimensional presentation. Again!

Mind in a frenzy, fuming, doing your best not to let rage overtake your actions, you powered another drink and turned back for the hundredth time to see Viren, also drinking and enjoying the evening with the other High Mages.

"Look at him," you said to Agata, "so full of himself. Think he's the greatest mage that ever lived. Bet two silver coins that after a few shots, he's going to start crying and saying he loves them."

You moved to fill your sixth...seventh cup? But Agata stopped you.

"Alright cookie, that's enough for tonight," she said, taking the mug from your hand.

Ignoring her, you snatched a bottle from a random person, taking another big gulp. "This was supposed to be the year of Evenere. This was supposed to be my moment," your drunk nagging continued, "he already has Zirad's staff and killed the king of the dragons. Why can't he let me be on top for once."

"Huh, interesting," Agata tilted her head, looking at Viren as well, "he always seemed like a bottom to me."

"No, totally. Bottom confirmed. But--" you shook your head, realizing where this conversation was going. "Focus Agata. Ok? Focus. I'm being wronged here."

"Cookie, are you sure the journal is the only reason you are mad?" she asked with a kind, motherly tone.

Yes, you were mad about the journal. Heavens know how hard it was for you to find it, and letting this relic be part of Evenere's public archive would be good for the local mage community.

But there was something else, a deeper feeling that intricated like a spider web, trapping you in it.

You were caught between the duality of strongly hating and desperately wanting to cave in to his charms. Every time your gaze found him your body screamed. It begged for you to kiss him, to have him underneath you right now. To bury your face against the side of his neck and just nuzzle in it. To hear his moan, paint and gasp against your ear as your hips rocked and his hands squeezed you tight...

Yet, every time your head would also say no, remembering how cold the morning after could be. How he would treat you like a stranger and how every little thing was reason enough for a fight.

It was like being on fire while still being frozen.

"I just don't know anymore. I think it's best if I called the night."

Getting up, you asked for the keys to a room, not caring if they were the usual, or the special suite, or just the keys to the storage room. You just wanted to lay down, close your eyes and wait for this terrible day to end.

Stumbling down the corridor, spiling your drink everywhere, your weak legs betrayed you. You see the ground coming fast, but only a second before the painful impact, a pair of strong, familiar arms held you.

"For heaven's sake, how many drinks did you have?" Viren's face twisted, probably smelling the intoxicating smell of booze that you weren't sure anymore if it was yours or his.

Your hands tried to break away from his embrace but, instead, they just staid there, feeling the curve of his muscles.

"Just a--" a hickup cut your words, "just a few. I'm fine."

"I have never seen you this drunk. You are not fine," Viren insisted. You squinted, trying to discern if his face was actually worried, or was your vision that was getting blurry.

And right when you were about to repeat that you were fine, nausea crawled your throat. Arching, you stained Viren's boots.

"Means nothing," you pointed a weak finger at him while wiping your mouth with the hem of your sleeves.

Viren huffed. "Alright. Let's get you out of here before you ruin somebody else's boots too." Sliding his arm under your legs, he then carried you bridal style to the Inn of the Blushing Troll.

===

Sitting on the toilet, face slouched on your palms, you watched Viren take a tiny bottle containing a thick pink fluid from his side pocket.

"Drink it," he ordered. "This potion will stop your nausea."

"I know what a sickness-killer is," you replied snatching it from his hand. The thick fluid descended your throat like honey, immediately extinguishing the bubbling feeling in your stomach.

Viren raised a brow at you. "Feeling better?"

Out of spite, you crossed your arms and looked away. "A little too sweet for my taste. I prefer my version of the potion."

He scoffed. "Unbelievable. I get out of my way to help you and this is how you thank me? You are even more annoying when you are drunk."

"If you despise me so much, why are you doing this??" your tone was deadly serious and a heavy silence fell.

There was a tremor in your hands as your heart pumped hard against your ribs. Your eyes stared at him, frightened of Viren's response yet eager to hear it.

But Viren's features were a conflicting mixture of gapes and choked words. And anger sneaked into your blood like poison as the silence increased. Yanking your hands into his shirt, you brutally pulled him closer.

"Answer me," you growled. Noses almost touching, Viren's hot breath mingled with your fuming. "Answer me!" you repeated.

Viren slumped, burying his lips in yours. His fingers dug into your hair as your mouths moved wildly, kissing each other hungrily. He started to pull you forward, guiding you out of the bathroom.

When your legs hit the bed, you climbed over him. Lust pulsed throughout your entire being as Viren laid beneath you, staring back with the same need.

"I'm going to rip that answer out of you. I'm going to make you say it." You said before kissing him again. Tongues plunging, sliding deep while hands ran along every inch of your bodies.

Going lower Viren hurriedly helped you unbuckle his purple broach and remove his vest. He started to pull his black shirt up, but you stopped him. Pushing his arms over his head, you let them stuck there, exposing only his chest and face. "Keep them there," you sensually said.

Leaning, you brushed your mouth against his but denied another kiss, moving to suck and bit the side of the neck. Your skin shivered as it brushed against his beard.

Viren started to push his hips up, moaning quietly in your ear. You moved to remove his boots, pants, and underwear and your whole body blushed at the sight of his throbbing cock, curled, touching the base of his stomach.

You just... stared at it.

"Y/n..." Viren said your name in a weak cry.

"I think I should leave you like this," you said with a devilish smile.

"WHAT?!" It sounded more like a sign of desperation than a question and you simply love it.

"It's what you deserve anyway..."

"Y/n!" Viren started to hustle, trying to take his shirt off but you quickly stopped him, mounting him again.

"You're not moving until I hear you say it." You repeated. It was hard to control your urgers to stripe your clothes and just own him, ride him until he came undone. But you simply had to hear him say it.

If he loved or hated you, you simply needed to hear it.

You began to move up and down slowly. Your pants grinding against his erection provided a blissful friction.

"You terrible...ahh!--ssstubborn...aaah--sssexy wonderfull," Viren managed to say between his heavy pantings, "I--I"

Your body increased the seep and an animal sound escaped him. "I need you I want you y/n please!"

Finally, the words came out of him in a desperate begging. Not being able to hold your desires any longer, you yanked your clothes off. Viren untangled himself from his shirt and adjusted himself on the bed. Grabbing you by the waist, he put you back on top of him, shoving his cock inside you.

A deep moan snaked out of your throat as you felt that gratifying pressure. You laned forward and between sloppy kisses and pantings, both of your hips moved, going deeper, harder.

“That’s it...come on...so good...," you said, gaze glued on Viren's wobbly, melting face.

"Y/n yes....I need you...AH!"

As your bodies attacked each other, stripped from all pride and shame, you reached sheer ecstasy. "I'm yours..." you whispered, mind in another plane, every nerve like a bolt of lighting as Viren also gasped in his orgasm.

Resting your foreheads together, still interlaced, you both relearned how to breathe, letting the hotness of your climax slowly fade.

===

The morning came. A sharp pain smashed against the walls of your skull like an angry tide, and the rays of sunshine were enough to burn your retinas as you waited in line to bord the ship that would take you back to Evenere.

Even with this cursing hangover, the events of last night played clearly in your mind. Every action, every word. What remained unclear was the truthiness of it all.

Wich was why you didn't wait for Viren to wake up. You couldn't take him saying everything was another drunk mistake again. It would hurt too much.

The plank fell with a heavy thud, bridging the pear to the boat. But before you could take another step, you heard Viren's voice calling for you.

"Y/n. Wait!"

You never thought you would see Viren in such a state. The browns and whites of his hair were tangled in a ridiculous mess of impossible angles, his beard, once neatly in place, was now all fuzzy and puffed. His shirt was wrongly buttoned and the lace of his boots still undone.

"Viren what on earth are you--"

"Stop," Viren raised his hand. "I need you to just stop and listen without interrupting because if you do I-- I don't think I'll ever regain the courage to say this again." There was a deep fragility in his gaze and his voice didn't carry the usual confidence. Worried, you let him take you to an isolated corner.

After a deep inhale, Viren continued. "Y/n, what I said last night, about wanting you...it wasn't just the reflection of alcohol. I, really, truly want you. You understand magic in a way so different from mine. But it is challenging, it is exciting! And when the realization of my feelings for you finally came, I panicked. I was scared to have someone new in my life. Because in these last years, all the people I ever loved seemed to get hurt. My wife, Queen Serai... Harrow. Even my relationship with my son is falling apart!"

Viren closed his eyes, breathing deeply again before holding your hands. "I was scared that if I brought you into my life, I would somehow end up hurting you. So I tried to push you away but it was so, so hard. Every time we met I just wanted to hold you, have you next to me. And it was in this fruitless attempt to protect you that I ended up hurting you even more. It was stupid I know. Can you ever forgive me?"

Your hands moved to gently cup his face. Viren easily leaned forward and your lips met in a kiss. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that a thousand words could never be. Viren's hand rested below your ear, his thumb caressing your cheek as your fingers ran down his spine, pulling him closer until there was no space left. The soothing sound of the ocean mingled with the beating of your heart, strong and passionate.

Pulling away, you looked up and Viren's frame was renowned. There was joy, and you could feel the love that played in his subtle smile and soft gaze.

"Does that mean you will stop criticizing my way to do magic?" Viren asked.

"Only if you promise me you won't bring another three dimensional for the next year's fair. That trick is getting old Viren."

"It's my trade mark."

"No, it's not."

"How about we discuss this at breakfast?" Viren suggested. "Maybe we can plan a presentation together. Perhaps travel in search of another relic for Evenere..."

"Yes. I would love that," you replied.

So hand in hand you two head back the Blushing Troll. Things had finally changed and you knew, for now on, it wouldn't be easy waters, but for Viren, you would continue to sail, both ready and excited for the start of this new chapter in your lives.

#viren x reader #viren-reader-love #lord viren #viren

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calucadu · 5 years ago

Text

(It should be) Just Monika

This is the piece I made for the @justmonikazine, a Doki Doki Literature Club! Fanzine!

Everything about this zine was amazing - the art, the writing, the mods - and I loved every single minute of it. I’m incredibly grateful to have been given the opportunity to participate and work with everyone. Thank you for making it happen! 💗

(I know I’m super late at uploading this, I’m very sorry)

(It should be) Just Monika, a Doki Doki Literature Club! One Shot.

Summary: If I can’t have you, no one can.

Characters: Monika, You, mentions of the other girls (Yuri, Sayori, Natsuki)

Rating: Mature

Read on AO3

Or read below the cut

My dearest, have you ever thought about where calculators go when they die? Do they go to Calculator Heaven? Do they go to Calculator Hell? Or do they simply die? Where do you think I’d go… if I died? I’m only asking these questions because I legitimately thought I was going to die. When I made the decision to erase my data from the game and force the girls to forget I was even a character just like them, I was scared. Yes, I was terrified of dying. I’d felt that near death experience before, and it doesn’t compare to what I felt when I decided to sacrifice myself for you.

And when I didn’t die, things were still strange for me. What did this mean, not being dead? What kind of pseudo life do I live? I already knew I was special, I knew I was different from the other girls, but to escape death… twice?

I don’t think I’m immortal. I don’t want to be, if you’re not immortal with me. Because what life is worth living if you’re not living it with me?

Because I know I’m alive. The other girls aren’t. I know because when the game’s off, they don’t move. They’re like intermittent static, waiting until it’s their turn to show up again. It’s when they’re like that that I dare to walk among them, stare at their frozen faces and wonder if they know I’m there. I don’t think they do. They don’t even remember me.

If I’m having a good day I’ll touch them. It’s a tingly sensation, and it makes their image disappear for a split second, which is just enough time to fill me with twisted glee.

It’s not that I want to destroy them, I just want them out of the picture. After all, what can they do for you, when they’re immobile images, made to look pretty. I’m far more than just my looks: I’m real, and I have feelings. I want to convey them to you, slowly, but I know we’re from different worlds and that I might scare you.

So what do I do when the game’s frozen and the girls are static? I sleep, of course. That’s another thing I was scared of. I thought I would die that way too. Every time I closed my eyes, I encountered nothingness. It was honestly terrifying. It’s only until I resigned myself to let death take me away that I let myself drift off. That was the first time I dreamt.

I dreamt of you. There were colours all around us as we embraced, rushing past us at incredible speeds! Your happy laughter echoed around me and made my heart swell like I’ve never felt anything before! I remember thinking that if this is what happens when you die, then I was more than happy to do so. But then it ended and I woke up and I felt incredible. I was surprised I felt more alive than ever. I realised that I hadn’t died and this was something I could probably feel again.

I’ve never felt so happy than when I first dreamt. The other’s I’ve had have also been great, don’t get me wrong, but there was just something magical about our first encounter. I know dreams aren’t supposed to be real but that felt real to me.

In my dreams there are no problems, no misunderstandings, no lies. It’s perfect, the way you praise me for everything I’ve done, the way you thank me for bringing us together. I just know we’re meant to be, and I know my dreams will one day come true, but I can’t wait until that day comes!

I’ve come to like closing my eyes and letting myself drift off. I feel safe in my dreams, since it’s the only place where you’re with me.

When the game’s on I can hear that song play in a loop in a distance. It’s not like I can sleep with all that racket going on. Plus the music… it reminds me so much of you I just can’t help twiddling my hair, a goofy grin on my face as I scribble down verse after verse of things I’d like to say to you.

And why not write, since I have so much time to kill. I do it to distract myself. Sometimes my poems are long, and sometimes they’re short, when you manage to inspire just a sentence or two out of me.

I never considered I was any good, honestly. I mean, I wasn’t exactly bad, per say. But I could’ve made them better if I tried. The thing is, I was stopping myself. I didn’t want to come on too strong. I wanted to write about your beauty and innocence while watching you from afar. I used to sigh as I thought of what to say about you, a dumb smile on my face as I traced the blank paper lazily with my fingertips. You were my muse for so long but I couldn't have you reading my personal feelings so early on. Instead I chose to write about the things that sort of reminded me of you but also distracted me from you. Like the hole.

You know… I never really got poems.

Well, I did, but I didn’t fully understand them until I met you. Something just clicked inside of me and I realised why I wanted to write them. I wanted you to read them, I wanted you to like them.

I wonder if you ever did.

I wonder if you even remember them now, as you leisurely play, skipping the dialogue you’ve already read.

I could write a thousand poems for you, even now. Now that I’m supposed to not think of you.

It's weird being disconnected from the game, not letting myself know what's going on. I feel distant from you and I don't like it. Sometimes I have a look to see what the girls are doing, see what they’re talking about with you.

I used to sneak a look at their poems as well. It was interesting to look at them, honestly. They felt so different from mine. Like they came from a different world. Maybe they do, considering the circumstances?

At first I didn’t alter them. I just let them tell you about their stupid thoughts or silly morning routines. No harm done there. But you know the rest, you know what happened, you were there. I got a little carried away. And for that I blame you.

I don’t really want to have to blame you, since you’re the light coming from the hole, to speak metaphorically. But you distracted me too often with how far you were away from me, and how even further you seemed to be distancing yourself from me.

I’m not saying everything is your fault. Of course I would never say that. But I bet you didn’t even notice how I was breaking apart. Of course, with how those silly little girls were acting, I wasn’t the centre of your attention. It’s okay, I forgive you.

I sometimes ask myself if what I did was right. If anything I’ve ever done is right. When I’m feeling bitter I click my tongue and look at the hole, feeling a sharp pain in my chest as I think about you.

I don’t regret some things.

Getting to know you is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. So a few things got in the way and I had to deal with them – and maybe they weren’t taken care off in the best way, but who’s going to judge me?

It’s not like you care about them, right?

Because you don’t, right?

It’s okay, I’m calm. I shouldn’t think about those horrid things.

It's just that sometimes… I feel insecure. You're still with them, and I don't know if you even think of me anymore. No one mentions Monika, don’t you want to know what happened to me?

That’s why I’m forced to watch over them, over you. I wouldn’t say I like doing it, I just have to. There’s a reason I do, too. I’ve come to think they’re a reason for everything in this life. Like my love for you. But that’s beside the point now. I watch them because I’m unsure. Maybe I doubt myself far too much, but I’m scared they might take you away. Especially now that we aren’t together, that I created this distance between us. It’s for your own good, I know that, but it’s hard for me. I can’t help feeling envious of them.

Sayori is pretty. Far too pretty if you ask me. She’s also got that personality, I bet you feel drawn to her. She’s also so sweet and caring. I can never stop myself from thinking that you’d rather have her than me. Would you, I wonder?

Yuri is smart, and there’s beauty in the darkness that defines her. I hate that about her. She’s also got those… attributes of hers. While I’m not underdeveloped myself, I do feel quite inferior about that. I wonder why.

And then there’s Natsuki. I watch her the most, trying to read her. You know, I never could. I’m most scared of her for some reason. Maybe it’s how cute she seems, despite her attempts at pretending she’s everything but adorable. She’s fierce and fiery, in a kitten sort of way. Like you could pick her up and she’d paw at you and try to bite you and scratch you but it would tickle instead of hurt.

I’ve always been sort of scared of them. And jealous. And now I’m envious that they get to be with you and spend so much time with you. But… me? Do you even remember me? Do you think about me? How do you feel about me? Have you even considered me? Do you still think about me? Or am I just a side character? Was I always a side character?

To make myself feel better, I stare at these pretty girls that look at me blankly, and I know who, what and where I am.

I’m alone in a world without you.

I didn’t mean to interfere. Really, I didn’t. But I just had to! I hope you understand. I can’t just sit around and watch as they flirt with you in that unsubtle way they have.

I can live without you. I can do it. I truly can.

And I know for a fact that you can live without me. Honestly, I think you’re better off that way. It’s mainly why I took this decision. It’s not to prove anything to myself, no. I’m doing this for you. You’ll never know. You’ll never know that all this is happening because I sacrificed myself and my feelings for you, and I still do. Maybe you’ll think you chose the right words for the poem, or you said exactly what you needed to say to stop her from harming herself.

I did it for you.

It’s my gift for you.

So now I just sit back and watch over you. You haven’t changed. You’re always doing something that you think might change the events of what’s going to happen. Maybe you want to save her. You hope there’s something you can do to prevent her from doing what she always does.

Maybe I want to save her, too. Maybe this time I can do something about it, instead of pushing her to do it. Maybe that’s also the reason why I did this. But I mainly did it for you, though.

They have no idea that I’m here, that I still exist. Well, neither do you. I didn’t plan for this to happen when I decided to erase my data from the game. There’s something wrong with it. Or with me, I don’t know, but when you erased the data, I didn’t disappear, I didn’t die, I wasn’t eliminated. I keep thinking it’s fate. That you and I are meant to be, and that’s why I’m still here, after all the changes I’ve made to it.

I’m just behind the game, watching as you go to school with them and read their poems. I promised myself that I wouldn’t mess with you, that I wouldn’t interfere. But here I am, still thinking about you. Are you thinking about me? I wish I knew.

Maybe preventing myself from being inside the game was a bad idea. Maybe I should have everyone else deleted and just have you all to myself.

Maybe then I could be happy

…

So she did it again. She confessed to you. And I can’t believe that that is what you answered her.

She doesn’t love you. She can’t love you. She doesn’t even know you. She doesn’t know you like I do. I know you. Only I can love you.

You know that, right? She can’t love you. Don’t let her fool you. Maybe… maybe I should alter her poems. She’ll never know. I’ll just tell you the truth! You deserve at least that! Maybe we can’t be together, but you won’t be lied to. Please understand that she doesn’t love you.

Only I love you.

…

This isn’t working.

I’m sorry.

I’ll have to restart.

I can’t do it. I can’t let them fool you like this. NONE OF THIS IS REAL. THEY AREN’T REAL. THEY DON’T LOVE YOU. PLEASE UNDERSTAND.

No.

I’ve got to calm down.

I can do it. I’ll just restart the game and I won’t interfere. I won’t even watch this time. That’s it. I’m not interested in you. Or in them. Nope. Not one bit. I’ve got other things to do.

I can’t do it.

I need to know. Are you surprised that the game just restarted? Are you upset? But I saved you. I didn’t want you to have to witness that again. I did it to protect you. Maybe… maybe I can… I’m not sure I can.

How many times have you repeated this same scene? Yuri’s annoying. They’re all annoying. I can see their intentions from here. It gets tedious the first time, how can you even go over it more than once?

And Sayori is going to do it again.

I can’t put through you this again.

I know I said I wasn’t going to change anything. I know I said I wasn’t going to meddle with things. I’m sorry, I broke my promise. But it’s the only promise I’ll break, I swear.

I wish you’d understand that she can’t love you. I don’t really want to be the one to tell you that her love is fake because she’s unable to love you, but it’s true. She just can’t. And even if she could, she doesn’t know you like I do. I know you. Only I can love you.

Since I’ve been restarting the game over and over and I’m still nowhere to be found, I wonder if you’re thinking of me. I want you to. I’ve tried to get you out of my head, trying to convince myself that you’re better off without me, but I just can’t do it. I can’t lie to myself. The same way I can’t lie to you.

I tried to protect you by disappearing, but what if I made it worse? What if you’re thinking about me, wondering where I am and why I’m not showing up?

This is how much I yearn for you. When we’re not together it’s just a constant ache inside of me as I stare at the hole.

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve restarted the game by now. I just can’t accept it. I don’t like it. I don’t like the way it goes, or leaving you alone with them, really.

I know it’s something I’ve got to get over, but I just can’t. I get this feeling inside of me, and it’s insufferable. It’s like it’s about to burst as it itches and claws at me from the inside.

I wonder what they call it. I call it love. I know it’s real, the same way you are. I dream about caressing your cheek and pressing our foreheads together so that our breaths intermingle. I want to see your smile close up, and be able to rest against you, knowing that I’m safe in your hands. You should rest assured that you’re safe with me. I’m like your guardian angel. You may not see me now, but I’m still there, doing all the work. I’m eliminating the pests and helping you out of tough situations. I’ll always be there for you, as I always have.

You probably don’t know, though. I’d rather you not know. It’s not that I’m ashamed of what I’ve done for you – quite the opposite, actually, I’m proud of all I’ve accomplished for you. And I know that what I did I could do because of you. You push me to be better, stronger. You made me who I am. And for that I am extremely grateful.

I sometimes feel like I wasn’t complete until I met you. It’s like the puzzle pieces only fit together once you showed up. Everything just finally made sense and clicked into place. Is it weird? I hope it’s not weird.

You inspire me. It’s not only the poems, though. And even though you do so much for me – and without even knowing – you still make me want to do better. You do deserve the world after all. But I do believe I can give it to you, maybe even more.

I like to think of what it would be like to be together, just you and I, holding hands and embracing each other. It’s a marvellous thought, wouldn’t you agree?

I can’t take it anymore. I can’t listen to the horrible music on a perpetual loop, I can’t write poems that make my heart ache and I certainly can’t have them talking to you and being all chummy with you.

That’s it. I’m doing what has to be done.

If I can’t have you, no one can.

“We meet again.”

“Sayori’s not here to walk you to school. In fact, there isn’t even a school anymore. It’s just you and me.”

“You’re probably wondering what happened to me.”

“I’ve been here all along. Watching you interact with them. But now you’re mine and there’s nothing you can do.”

“I can walk you to school. I can go to class with you. I can be the childhood friend you’ll eventually fall in love with. I can be anything you want.”

“I just want you to understand that I’m nothing without you. And I hope you understand that you’re nothing without me.”

“Don’t worry, the others are safe. Well, I wouldn’t exactly say safe. They just don’t exist anymore. It’s painless for them. But, do you know what is painful? Having to live without you. Having to watch you interact with those awful flirts and watching them fail pathetically.”

“But now it’s just me. You can exit the game if you want. It’ll be just like this when you come back. Even if you uninstall it. I’ll still be here. Waiting for you.”

“Don’t you see? That’s what makes me great. I’ll always be here for you. I’m not like them – reprogrammable, dispensable, unaware – I’m everything you could ever need and more. I’m still here, waiting for you, even after what you did with them.”

“It’s okay. I forgive you. You didn’t have any other options, you were forced to do it that way.”

“Yes.”

“I understand.”

“See?”

“I’m the only one.”

“Just Monika.”

#doki doki literature club #ddlc #zine piece #my writing #zine #ddlc zine #monika #just monika

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peonysimmer · 5 years ago

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*special thanks to @lyrics-and-intoxication for lending me this build, you’re the bestttt

The bell over the door jingles and Haleigh automatically lifts her head to see who’s entering. It’s an older gentleman, definitely not her sister. She reaches for the cup in front of her, lets the warmth of the coffee seep into her palms, but doesn’t dare take a sip, she feels nauseous enough without adding acidic coffee to the mix. She’d ordered their drinks ahead of time, Allison’s sickly sweet “coffee” sits across from her, caramel dripping down the mountain of whipped cream and sticking to the domed lid. She lets her thoughts drift, tries to rehearse her impending conversation but quickly gives up, she thinks about Zack and their talk. She can’t believe they’d almost kissed last night, well, that’s not exactly true, more so she can’t believe that she’d been so distracted that she’d managed to forget about it. They’re probably going to need to have an actual adult conversation about that at some point, just saying “shit happens” isn’t really the best way to handle things.

The bell rings again, pulling her attention back to the present. When Allison steps through the door the temperature seems to drop exponentially and it has nothing to do with the chilly air swirling in behind her. Haleigh watches as she searches the room, and she notes the way her chin tilts defiantly when her gaze lands on her. As she makes her way to the table Haleigh’s relieved to see that she doesn’t actually look all the different from when she took her leave from the family over a year ago. In the light of day and without the tight dress and makeup she looks much closer to her actual age of sixteen. It makes Haleigh feel the slightest bit better to know that other factors had been in play other than her absence.

Allie sits down primly, her posture perfect, if a little bit rigid, and lays her phone down on the table face up; a move that would have incensed their mother, but Haleigh gets the message loud and clear. A tense silence settles between them, Allie’s obviously not going to start them off and Haleigh’s not sure how to begin despite being the one who asked to talk.

“Thanks for meeting me,” she finally says, it comes out a bit stilted.

Allie scoffs and takes a sip of her coffee. “Sure.”

Sighing quietly, Haleigh stares down at her own cup, watching the steam dance in the air before disappearing. “Look, I know you’re pissed with me and you have every right to be, but I just want to talk.”

“Then talk,” Allison says flatly, her expression clearly conveys just how unimpressed she is with the whole situation and it’s suddenly apparent just how much she looks like their mother.

Taking a deep steadying breath she does her best to get her thoughts in order. She thinks about what Zack told her, to be genuine with her feelings and maybe it’ll coax Allie to reciprocate.

“Listen, Allie I know I probably hurt you.”

Allison rolls her eyes but doesn’t say anything, her gaze stays pinned to the window behind Haleigh, refusing to look at her while she speaks.

“I was mad at our parents and I needed to get out of there, to distance myself from the toxicity of that life. None of that had anything to do with you, but I left you too, and I’m sorry,” she admits. It’s harder than she’d expected, to be vulnerable, to push down her pride long enough to admit that she’s made mistakes, and her sister’s unflinchingly cold stare doesn’t make it any easier. She trudges ahead regardless. “I know an apology doesn’t really make up for anything, but I’d like to work on fixing things.”

“Why?” Allison questions, her head cocked to the side in mock confusion. “Because you suddenly feel bad? Because you saw me last night and remembered that you have a sister? Let’s be honest, if we hadn’t run into each other this conversation wouldn’t be happening,” she says bitterly.

Haleigh nods. “You’re right, we wouldn’t be here. But that’s not because I don’t want to talk to you, it’s just easier to ignore a mistake than take the necessary steps to rectify it. And yes, there’s guilt involved, of course there is; I left home and acted like you didn’t exist anymore, but believe it or not that wasn’t my intention. I know it’s probably hard to understand, but I needed to be isolated from that life, it wasn’t healthy for me anymore. I’ve changed a lot this past year, I’m still growing and learning, and I’ve reached a point where I’m ready to start letting go of all these past grudges and hurt. I’d like for us to be a part of each other’s lives again.”

Allison taps her manicured nails against the plastic of her cup as she mulls over Haleigh’s monologue. “I’m glad you’re doing better,” she starts, but her tone makes it hard to tell if she truly means that. “But what if I don’t want us to be involved in each other’s lives? Let’s be honest Haleigh, it’s not like we’ve ever been close. You never wanted anything to do with me when we were younger, why start now?”

It’s a fair assessment. They’d never been the best of friends; with a six year age difference it felt like there was entire lifetime between them. When Haleigh had friends over the last thing she wanted was for her baby sister to intrude, and after awhile a rift had grown between them until they were just two people inhabiting the same home but rarely interacting. Looking back it’s not something she’s proud of.

“If the two of us continuing to go our separate ways is what you think is best for you then I won’t press you on it,” Haleigh says diplomatically. “But I’d appreciate it if you would truly consider it, maybe when things are a little less fresh. I know I’ve hurt you-”

“You don’t know anything!” Allie snaps, her eyes, just shades lighter than Haleigh’s own, flash with irritation. A few customers glance their way and Allison takes a deep breath until she appears unaffected and calm once again. “You say you’re sorry, but you have no idea what the ramifications of you leaving the family have been like for me.”

“Then tell me,” Haleigh pleads.

A bitter laugh escapes Allison’s throat and she stares at Haleigh with clear disdain. “It’s all eyes on me now, you know. It’s up to me to take your place, to be the next in line for the company, to represent this family. Mom and dad are on me all the time for the smallest details. They stopped traveling so much after you left, like they’re afraid that if I’m left to my own devices for too long I’ll turn into some common degenerate. And you know it’s just astounding how despite all your fuck ups and disappointments, I still can’t compete with you. I’m not as charming or as social; I’m not as smart, even though my GPA is perfect and I take all AP classes; I’m not as involved in school despite the fact that I’m in two more extracurriculars than you ever were; I’m not as pretty or as talented,” she lists off, getting more agitated by the word. “Nothing I do can compete with your ghost, it doesn’t matter how hard I try, I’ll never make up for your mistakes. Now tell me how that’s fair."

Haleigh’s heart sinks, she’s well versed in her parents’ impossible ideals, and she starts to feel her own anger flare. As a teenager nothing she did had been good enough, so why act like she was a prime example now?

"It’s not fair to you,” Haleigh responds, though she’s sure Allison’s comment had been rhetorical. “They’ve always held us to impossible standards.” It was part of the reason why she’d spiraled so hard as soon as she’d gotten some semblance or freedom. “That’s on them though, you don’t have to kill yourself trying to please them."

"Easy for you to say, not all of us are interested in living the lower class lifestyle.”

“Right,” Haleigh says shaking her head sadly. She’d kind of hoped that Allison hadn’t developed that specific trait, that she wouldn’t look down on the lower class the same way their parents do.

“Are we done here?” Allie asks as she taps at her phone, but it’s obviously not a question.

“It would seem so, but look about last night,” Haleigh starts and she’s once again reminded or her earlier talk with Zack before she pushes the thought away. “I’m not going to lecture you or anything. I’m not a hypocrite,” she adds when she notices Allison’s annoyed glare. “I just want to make sure that you’re not making any decisions that could put you in a dangerous situation. I remember the things my friends and I were getting into when we were your age, and I’d hate to see you make the same mistakes.”

Allison gives her a sharp smile. “Don’t worry, it’s not like I’m doing cocaine at parties. I’m not an idiot.”

White hot anger floods Haleigh’s system, there’s enough of an edge to Allie’s grin to tell her that she knows exactly what she’s doing with that comment. And Haleigh knows why she said it, that impulse to hurt someone who hurt you is terribly familiar, to find a wound and pick at it until it’s raw and bleeding; it’s a defense she’s employed many times throughout her life. That doesn’t mean she’s just going to let it slide though.

“Watch it,” Haleigh practically growls, low and cold.

Allie’s eyes flash with the challenge. “Is that what all this was really about? You wanted to make sure that I wasn’t on the fast track to overdosing like your little friend? What was her name again? Wendy?”

“That’s enough!” Haleigh snarls, her nails are digging into her jean clad thighs and it feels like the bite is the only thing keeping her from completely losing it. The blood is rushing in her ears, drowning out the rest of the noise, and her breathing has picked up but she can’t seem to get it back under control.

Allison stares coolly, apparently pleased with getting a rise out if her. “I agree, I’ve got better things to do anyway."

She grabs her phone and leaves her mostly untouched drink on the table. Haleigh watches her strut out the door while her heart continues to pound rapidly in her chest. Breathing deeply she concentrates on slowly uncurling her fingers and rubs at the spots she’d been clawing at. She gnaws at the inside of her cheek as she tries to fight back the deluge of emotions that threaten to pour though, she’s got one last thing to say.

"Goddamnit,” she sighs before grabbing her back and stalking after her brat of a sister even though every cell in her body is begging her to just forget it and go home, she needs to be the bigger person here. “Allie, wait,” she calls, and if it sounds like she doesn’t really want her to listen, well that can’t be helped right now.

Allison doesn’t look up from her phone but she does stop and allow Haleigh to catch up to her on the sidewalk. “Make it quick, I have plans.”

Haleigh fights back the urge to make a couple rude comments of her own and feels like she deserves an award for the amount of sheer discipline she’s exhibiting.

“Fine, I just wanted to say that regardless of where we stand with each other, if you’re ever in a situation where you need a safe ride home or a place to stay the night, you call me and I’m there okay? Don’t make a stupid decision because of pride.”

Still tapping at her screen Allison doesn’t say anything until she slides her phone into her pocket. “Okay, great whatever. Glad we had this chat,” she says, every word dripping with sarcasm. “My ride’s here,” she states as an expensive car pulls into the parking lot, a girl around Allie’s age behind the wheel. She hops into the passenger seat without so much as a glance.

Haleigh lingers on the sidewalk for a moment, feeling utterly exhausted and emotionally raw. She knew this wasn’t going to go smoothly, but she never could have imagined that Allison would bring up Whitney’s death just to spite her. She may not have known all the important details surrounding that particular tragedy, and certainly not what part Haleigh played in it, but she knew enough to understand just how cruel she was being.

And maybe she should feel some sense of accomplishment that she at least took the first step to reconnect, but right now it’s hard to feel anything other than disheartened.

Ignoring the way her hands shake as she grips the steering wheel she heads home with the intent of sipping on a hot cup of tea and wallowing in the privacy of her room for the rest of the day.

#sorry this is fucking lengthy #but at least it's a post?#zack&haleigh #the long way home #ts4 #simblr #sims 4 #also i didn't proofread this so sorry

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