#; wipes sweat from brow

[ultbot]

sometimes the most heartwarming group of people are two weird little freaks and the third who thinks he's better than that but really isn't.

XTRA!

[urmomsfavelesbian]

*checks notes* step on me

[druidgroves]

*plays with their genetics like sims*

ft. old man shaun

[tyzfol]

much better than like 50

[asfodeltide]

[gertritude-art]

i always assume i have spoiled every single detail about stuff i'm making/have on the backburner, and then i'll look back and realize i've made like. two posts about something. like wow you can't actually guess anything from this stuff there's nothing here

[artbyfuji]

lumberjack summer request for @basicallytravus 🤗 part of the ongoing @rwbygotcha4gaza event so be sure to check it out!

[hyuckonia]

why does ace's clubwear in the guest room have no shoes? there's only one answer. ace rawdogging on the court, quite literally 😰😰😰

(special thanks to @spontaneouscakes for the pic of the guest room, she was the one who made this harrowing discovery)

[astystole]

so, a vengeful heart-eater and an all-seeing witch walk into a bar wearing @sentate's spite collection...

[sco07ut]

as a general rule of thumb, making a furry au of my current interest is usually only a matter of time

[worstloki]

MCU shouldn’t have gone with a ‘you’re stronger than you realized’ type plot for Loki that’s rubbish instead they should have gone for the ‘yeah no sorry I don’t know what I’m capable of you may wonder why but it’s because I’ve been exhausted this whole time yeah just not functioning right between the sleep issues the torture and the making sure Thor stays alive and that last ones been going on for a long time now’

[glimborgus]

quick n rough sketches of joker from fighter’s destiny

[mwebber]

MARTIAN'S MATCHING PORSCHE 911 GT2 RS CARS: A MASTERPOST

are you ready to feel parasocial about a pair of matching porsches, one of which may or may not even exist? you've come to the right place!

SECTIONS:

what is the 2010 Porsche 911 GT2 RS?

what's been said about the matching cars

timeline

unanswered questions and speculation

WHAT IS THE 2010 PORSCHE 911 GT2 RS?

well, it's her (source in watermark)

though she's been upstaged by her counterparts in the last decade, at the time, the gt2 rs was the most powerful road car porsche had ever built. only 500 were made. one of which, as we all know, came into the paws of one mark webber--another, presumably, found a home in sebastian vettel's garage. why do i say presumably? well..

WHAT'S BEEN SAID ABOUT THE MATCHING CARS

rather than making you squint at a bunch of screencaps, i'm just going to copy and paste the quotes that are out there..

“[The 911 GTS RS] is a beast! It’s got biblical power – the amount of torque is phenomenal. Sebastian [Vettel] bought one as well back in the day, we bought one together pretty much and I think he’s had a few tricky moments in his! They’re proper machines, those things. I think the engine’s probably a little bit big for the body, but in the right hands she’s a machine!” Red Bull. july 28, 2016.

Webber said he shopped for a new ride with teammate Sebastian Vettel and both agreed that the Porsche made the most sense. He's extremely happy with the GT2's performance, comfort and race car-like driving dynamics. Auto123, date unknown. the video in question

“I think it was around Monaco Grand Prix time, [Red Bull teammate] Sebastian Vettel and I were looking at some cars,” Webber said. “I’m not big on my road cars, to be honest, but when we started talking about this one it was a no-brainer.” But instead of pulling any strings using his formula one fame, Webber reportedly strolled into a UK Porsche dealer to order his new wheels personally. Drive. October 7, 2016.

“As a young guy, growing up in Australia, the Porsche 911 was definitive. I remember talking to Sebastian Vettel when the GT2 came out, about the power, the way it looked. He said, ‘what do you reckon?’ I said, ‘we should both get one’, so we did. If you take a 911 to a track day it’s the car that’s running around out there still working, with its brakes still working, at the end of the day. It’s a Porsche. You know that. We all know that. Brakes are important, you know." Top Gear Malaysia. date unknown, but since the headline is "mark webber has retired from racing," i'm going to pin it at sometime around november, 2016

“… Monte Carlo Grand Prix, 2010. I was sitting with Sebastian Vettel, and we were looking at the new 997 GT2 RS. And he said, ‘Shit, we need to buy one of those, you know?’ And I said, ‘yeah, we need—both of us.’ So I think that night, Monaco, after qualifying, we, uh. I didn’t outqualify Seb often, but that day, lucky, I kicked his ass, I was on pole position and he was not qualifying that well. And I said, ‘you still gonna buy the 911?’ And he said, ‘yeah, we should buy it.’ So he got a black one, I got a white one...” fan video from the weekend of oct 2-3, 2021.

and though nothing was mentioned about matching cars, they're driving the same model (DEFINITELY different car though, one purchased by the red bull ring) in the now-famous martian taxi drivers instagram post, where mark says, “At the end of the day we even drove each other for a few laps. That’s the biggest bloody endorsement a street car can have, F1 drivers wanting to do more laps for the own pleasure😉👌🏽” april 24, 2020. this is the only allusion to the car i can find that is not only from 2010, but also shows that seb so much as touched a 2010 porsche 911 gt2 rs.

now, you may ask, why are you being so cagey about seb and his porsche?

well, the thing is. sebastian vettel has not so much as breathed a WORD to the media about owning a porsche 911, much less matching one with mark. as far as i can tell from the numerous searches i've done, anyway. everything we know about their matching porsches has come from mark.

TIMELINE

so with that, let's piece it together:

some point on thurs/fri of the monaco gp (may 13 or 14, 2010): martian see the 911 and they're like. hot damn. seb says what do u think. mark says let's get one each.

saturday (may 15): mark beats seb in qualifying, then gloatingly asks if seb is still in the mood to buy the porsche. and because seb is insane, he says yes.

some unidentified point in the future, likely in the break between monaco and turkey because i sincerely doubt mark was in the mood to go car shopping with seb after that (may 16-26): they buy the porsches. mark buys a white one, seb buys a black one.

2016: they don't speak about this to anyone in the media until mark retires from racing for good. when questioned about his favourite porsche cars, only THEN does he even mention that this car matching business took place at all. and, unprompted, repeats this story to multiple news outlets when asked about the 911.

we're faced with several years of silence until 2021, when the story pops up again.

UNANSWERED QUESTIONS AND SPECULATION

have you ever thought it weird that something as clinically insane as matching cars with your rival was never given more media attention than a passing few lines in some articles? somehow, either nobody has asked about the fact that Thee most fractious relationship in contemporary f1 bought matching cars, or they DID ask and were effectively muzzled, which is telling in and of itself. and check the dates: 2016. 2016. 2016. 2020. 2021. they did not only keep this under wraps until mark retired and became a full time porsche #influencer. one of them is either STILL KEEPING IT UNDER WRAPS...

... or doesn't have the car at all.

does seb even own this porsche? why have we only heard of it from mark's mouth? there are so many articles on ~road cars f1 drivers own~ but none of them even mention seb having it. so what's the truth? did he never buy one and only tell mark he did? does it stay dusty under a cover in his garage, never to see the light of day? did he buy it and then immediately sell it/give it away after turkey? or because it was like, purposefully to match with mark, is it one of the things he's Sentimental about that he's viciously protective of and keeps out of the spotlight?

mark goes into detail and says that seb got a black porsche, so that must mean that it EXISTS? surely?? well, we take that for granted, but we may never actually know.

another thing: notice how in the Drive article, mark reportedly went to a uk dealership in person to order the car? if he and seb bought them together, does that mean they also went to the dealership... together? and if we take this to be true, does that then mean they physically went to a porsche dealership in the uk just weeks before they collided in turkey and their relationship tripped and fell off a cliff? or did they go separately in person, or did only mark go in person and seb order through connections?

yet another thing: in the "Mark Webber and his 911 GT2 RS" video linked above next to auto123, he drives a black 911 and seems to imply that the car is his: "i'm definitely not gonna be parting with this one." but the car is black. and he says he got a white one. WHAT? [EDIT: the one in the video may be the 2011 model and not the 2010 model he bought with seb]

AND ANOTHER THING TO NOTE: while the internet was surely a Widespread Phenomenon in 2010, there may very well have been printed news about the matching cars that never got digitally archived. unfortunately i do not have a time machine, so that's up in the air for now.

but that's it! that's everything we know about martian's matching porsches. i will be updating this post as more info comes to light, so if i've missed anything, pls let me know!

[nostalgia-tblr]

fancy thinking jewels and gowns don't work as symbols of authority. imagine not making the link between wealth and power. couldn't be me. couldn't be any number of monarchs displaying their authority on their bodies. look at this absurdly expensive frock my wife is wearing. it's worth as much as your house. kneel, peasant, and kiss the hem of her luxurious garment. you're lucky, the next sumptuary laws will ban you from being in the same room as crimson silk.

[mybreadsmybutters]

i have such an unfathomably large amount of things to do tomorrow its actually sick depraved and evil. and yet.

[othcrside]

@anchoragestarters hermione + ??? : january 2, anchorage mental health & counseling

A performer at heart, Hermione suffered difficulty presenting themselves as anything less than a dazzling spectacle. That was precisely why therapy was so imperative; they needed to become better acquainted with the parts of themselves that were quieter, left alone for years, pushed away in boxes dressed in lace ribbons. Throughout childhood, they often dreaded therapy. Their parents were insistent on it, but all they couldn't help but think was how broken it'd made them feel. They were learning now, slowly but surely, that their condition did not hinder them and neither did requiring occasional assistance in managing it. Really, it wasn't until their first date with Annisa concluded that they thought it more important they begin zeroing in on self-improvement. Annisa had deserved nothing less than the best, most refined iteration of Hermione that they could muster out of themselves. Still, they felt jitters shoot through their arms and snake down their spine, instigating goosebumps to develop on their flesh as they scratched absentmindedly at the waiting room chair. "... So, what are you in for?" they awkwardly kidded to the person adjacent them, before freezing in place and clearing their throat. "That was a joke, by the way. You don't actually have to answer. But if you do, I will, too. Anything to keep myself occupied from being called back."