#WIPES SWEAT FROM BROW. WHEW MANAGED TO SQUEEZE ONE IN

[astystole]

so, a vengeful heart-eater and an all-seeing witch walk into a bar wearing @sentate's spite collection...

[avintagekiss24]

𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖔𝖚𝖗 | 𝖇. 𝖇𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖊𝖘

→ pairing: beefy shadow monster!bucky barnes x black!reader

→ word count: 5367

→ warnings: 18+ ONLY, dub con, a tinge of somnophilia, exophilia, #monster fucker, smut, sex, rough sex, masturbation, rough masturbation, sex toys, butt stuff, oral sex (female receiving), multiple orgasms, voyeurism, explicit language

→ square filled: @badthingshappenbingo​ 

wiping the other’s tears away

→ author note: guys, i’m... this is who we are now. we are monster fuckers. this is based on @idga-buck​ INCREDIBLE ask that was bred from this post. i honestly don’t know if this holds a candle to that ask because, whew girl. that shit fucked me up when i first read it! anyway, hope you guys enjoy because i might be planning a little monster fucker series based off of this and another certain someone that is mentioned in the fic.

→ read hirsute

The stress in your shoulders makes it hard to lift your arm once you finally reach your apartment door. It takes everything in you to shove your key into the lock and slam your hip against the old, swollen wooden door to pop it open, but just crossing the threshold into your sanctuary helps soothe your nerves. Everything falls to the floor within an instant— purse, messenger bag, coat— hell, even your keys. Hopping on one foot to remove a light brown, velvet heel, and then the other as you make your way towards your bedroom, ignoring the lively green house plants scattered around window seals and the living room.

You don’t even bother to turn on the lights. Don’t make a pit stop in the kitchen, or even the bathroom to remove your makeup. Hunger pains be damned. There are exactly two things that will help with this mood— an orgasm, and sleep. Thank God one always leads to the other.

It was 10:12am, just two hours into your work day, when you knew what you were going to need to help forget about this day. Emails piling up, phone ringing off the hook, picking up the slack for coworkers because you’re just so well versed in this… we could really use your help. Took its toll. By 10:12am you were ready to scream, punch your perky, always in a good mood cubicle mate, and rip your hair out— so you knew, right then and there, that you were gonna fuck yourself stupid when you got home.

Perverted thoughts lingered all day as you rifled through old court filings and scoured obscure statutes. Thighs tightened as your sex started to dampen at fantasies of being bent over your boss’ desk. Caught yourself staring, more than once, through his open door as he chatted on the phone, bright blue eyes glinting underneath the natural sunlight that poured into his office, crinkling on the sides as he laughed.

Then he would furrow those brows as he read through briefings. Jaw and lips set tight, eyes squinted as he nibbled absentmindedly on his bottom lip. Big hands and thick fingers made the pen in his hand seem entirely too small. Pink tongue darted out to wet pink lips.

You’ve spent many a night with thoughts of Andrew Stephen Barber; and tonight will be no different.

Dark shadows are cast across the floor and bed, small slivers of moonlight creeping in. The sound of your shoes hitting the floor don’t even register in your ears as you wiggle out of your skirt and panties and fall onto the soft, warm, inviting Queen mattress.

Deft fingers make light work of the buttons on your silk blouse but the other hand can’t wait— slipping down your stomach and between sticky, hot flesh. A sharp inhale fills your chest as you rub slow circles against your clit, pangs of quick excitement starting to fire off. Your fingers push down to your slit, prodding and stroking gently as a new wet starts to slick your muscles.

A lazy smile curls onto your face. The stress of the day starts to evaporate as you melt into the mattress, the circles against your clit quickening, hips starting to roll and push up into your hand. The expensive silk of your blouse falls off your shoulders just a bit as you push it away from your chest, exposing two bare tits and quickly thickening nipples.

You take hold of one— tweaking it slow. Pinching and rolling the nub before palming your tit all together, cupping and pushing the mound of flesh up your chest. A swipe of your tongue— rough and torrid— against your nipple makes you grunt deep. Makes your hips jut upward as you prod that now filthy wet slit and hole.

Muscles flex as the sound of your dirty deed fills the empty space. Wet squeaks and sloshes bounce off the walls as fingers thrash back and forth and up and down against your clit. Heavy, thick thuds of your palm pounding against your body when one, two, three fingers finally slip inside— but they aren’t enough. Not wide enough or long enough to feed the hunger.

Then… there’s a shift. The atmosphere in your apartment— your room specifically— just changes on a dime. The tiny hairs on your body start to stand on end, goosebumps raising on your skin. Your eyes slide open, blinking up at the ceiling as your pumping hand slows down to just a creep before stilling completely. An already racing heart starts to beat harder, lips part, eyes and limbs completely frozen in place as fear strikes you.

You’ve felt this before, at random times since you moved in. Sometimes in the shower or in the kitchen, when you’re getting ready for work, or catching up on a show— but mainly at times like this. When you’re stretched out on your bed, naked, fingers rooted deep in your cunt, when you feel like you’re being watched. Like there’s a thousand eyes on you all at once.

There’s even a chill that takes over the room, sometimes getting so cold that for a brief moment, you can see your breath. You’ve gone to management a few times, who of course did nothing— but a few of your neighbors put your mind at ease, it happens to them sometimes too. It struck you odd that it was mainly just your female neighbors who experienced the random chills, but you brushed it off. You live on the southside of the complex, the sun gets blocked by the surrounding buildings. You also live on the first floor— heat rises, cold sinks. It happens.

You swallow hard, shutting your eyes, trying to center yourself again. A small laugh escapes your lips seconds later— you’re ridiculous. Maybe it's time to lay off the horror movies for a while.

Shrugging out of your blouse the rest of the way, you roll onto your side and pull open the drawer of your nightstand. Out comes the cute little heart shaped butt plug, complete with a pretty pink crystal gem. A small bottle of water based lube is next, and then, the pièce de résistance. Your ten inch tall, two inch wide realistic dildo.

Your stomach tightens with anticipation as you fumble with the flip cap of the small purple bottle of lube. Just a dollop is enough to coat the steel plug, the excess on your fingers used to wet your warm, puckered hole. Melting back into the mattress, you roll your shoulders, let your eyes flutter closed, and grab your bottom lip between your teeth as you massage your rim with the rounded tip, gently pushing.

A soft moan vibrates in your throat as your body opens up. Your hole twitches, clenching tight around the toy as it disappears with a quick pop as soon as the widest part is shoved in, leaving nothing to be seen but the pink heart flush against your hot rim. You draw your legs up, calves pressed against the backs of your thighs, butterflying open as you drag the fake cock through your folds— against your clit— using your slick to lubricate the soft silicone.

Fingers find your nub soon after, slapping quick, before stroking the delicate flesh as you start to tease your slit. The cock head slips in easy, but you're so tight, so worked up and eager, muscles swollen, that it takes a little more effort to swallow the rest. Tiny little wet squeaks fall from your lips, body tenses and curls inward as you push, push, push— mouth falling open, face splintering with pleasure.

It takes not even ten seconds for your body to adjust, hips wiggling and shifting to get comfortable, before you're pulling the massive toy out and shoving it back in. You start to murmur, indiscernible, clipped words filtering through full lips— a hot tongue slipping out, sweeping over teeth as your hips start to get into it.

You’re soon too far gone to notice the black shadows moving around the room. Chalk up the feeling of the little hairs standing on end, the goosebumps popping up across your body to your arousal— and not the two piercing blue eyes that illuminate at the edge of your bed.

~~~

Bucky could reach out and touch you he’s so close now. He’s careful still— almost getting caught by you earlier, his anticipation for your almost nightly show getting the best of him. Making him sloppy.

He’s haunted these walls, these rooms, these buildings for decades, if not a century or more. Seen generation after generation moving in and out, kids growing up into adults, adults growing old, the old dying off— but you— fuck, you’ve got to be his goddamn favorite of them all.

Deep brown skin. Lithe and delicate. A soft little quiet thing, engrossed in her solitude and house plants, more than happy to shut the rest of the world out more often than not. You’re gentle. Your soul, your physicality, except in these moments. When you fuck yourself like this, and it doesn’t matter when— in the mornings when the sun is soft, in the late afternoons, your body covered in the oranges and pinks of the sky, late at night in the absolute darkness with nothing but the moon and the shadows— you’re anything but gentle.

Unrestrained and wild you are when in the throes of your arousal. Writhing and loud, a thin sheen of sweat on your brow. Eyes clamped closed so tight sometimes sweet little tears squeeze out and slip down your cheeks. Two perfect tits, mounds of soft flesh, jiggle and bounce with the aggressive thrashes of your fingers against a glistening, sensitive nub.

Nights like tonight are his favorite. When you’re acutely aware that he’s here, but too scared to really give it much thought. When the fear strikes you stiff. When you pull out that monstrous fake cock and spread yourself wide— stretch that pretty, pink, wet cunt. The squelch, the squish of the foreign object being jammed into hot, distended muscles.

Your smell. So sweet and pungent— distinctly you. It’s constantly on the tip of Bucky’s tongue, filling his nostrils, swirling in his head and chest— taunting him. Intoxicating him. Begging and beseeching him to just reach out and touch. Taste. Oh, to have your scent— your flavor— on his lips to savor. He wants to bury his face between those thighs, drown between them. Slither into you and curl up, take up residence.

Bucky’s gotten bold as of late— now, not even waiting until you’re fucked out and sex drunk, falling into a peaceful, post orgasm slumber to move around. No. Now he shifts while you’re still awake, still fucking— toy sowed deep, fingers slapping, hips snapping, back arching.

You’ve snapped your head towards him once or twice over time as you’ve caught his movement in the corner of your eye. Sat straight up, mouth hanging, eyes wide, chest heaving as you stared into the darkness— waiting. Scared shitless. You even tried to cover yourself, hands over your tits, legs closing into each other.

It made him laugh.

You’re already his. That body claimed— no need to cover it up now.

Even tonight, he’s even bolder still. Right at the edge of your bed, peering on. It’s a damn near perfect view when you get like this— sloppy. Legs splayed open, heels dug into the mattress, hips arched off the bed. Your slick glistens underneath the moonlight, splashed on your thighs, strings connected between two puffy, balmy lips. It’s nothing but an invitation— an invitation that he can’t ignore for much longer.

He pushes his knee into the mattress, and then the other, his substantial weight dipping it. Piercing blue eyes snap towards your face as he stalls, waiting for any indication that you feel him there— a smile curling onto his lips when it doesn’t come. So he pushes closer, settles right at your feet. Reaches out, hovers long, black fingers over your chest— so close that his pointed, sharp nails graze your skin.

Makes you gasp.

Bucky snaps his hand back, but you don’t stop. You shiver. Goosebumps ever present on every inch of your skin— but you don’t stop. In fact, you get faster, harder. Pounding that fake cock into your cunt, pushing your hips higher as you slap and knead at that sticky, swollen nub.

You like it.

You like his touch.

Pride swells in Bucky’s chest. Maybe you’re much more receptive than he originally thought. Maybe it’s the fear itself— knowing you’re being watched by something, not someone— is what turns you on. And it makes Bucky bolder still.

He looms over you, hand pressing into the mattress right by your head. Head tilting as he leans in, brushing the tip of his nose against your cheek. You jump again, mewl loud when his nails scrape against your skin, between your jiggling, bouncing tits. He wants to fuck you so bad. Stuff you full of his monster cock— he knows you can take it. Knows you can stretch wide for his veiny, dripping prick. Suck those pretty tits into his wet mouth, those hard, perky nipples between his sharp teeth. But he won’t, not now.

You’re so close.

And this is always the best part.

So he pushes away, away from the bed. Hovers up near the ceiling, eyes shifting from their brilliant blue to pitch black so he can enjoy your finale. Then he’ll wait a while, maybe a few nights— maybe a few hours, who knows—  to encourage an encore.

With a little help, of course.

~~~

You cry out, shrieking into the darkness as the coil planted deep threatens to snap. The chill in the room has your nipples hard, but the heat blooming across your skin has you damp and sticky. There’s gusts of something— splashing over your naked body— but the windows are closed. The air conditioning turned completely off.

It feels like breath. You’d swear it— and it’s so close. Like someone, or something, is right on top of you. Shudders wrack your body, adrenaline rushes as ice floods your veins. Alarm, panic, sheer horror gripping you.

But, you cum before you can rationalize it. Before you can pinpoint it.

It’s so sweet, the orgasm, so deep as the warmth of it spreads like wildfire. Toes curl hard, so hard they go numb as the waves crash, each one harder than the one before. Heart in your throat, the blood rush in your ears. Muscles spasming, clenching and clamping down around the silicone cock, clit jumping with each contraction of your cunt.

It lasts for awhile— your body knowing that this is what you needed. So you ride it out as long as you can, fingers still rubbing and thrashing against your clit until it’s too sensitive. You stuff the cock into you one last time and leave it there, fixed so deep as your body falls back against the mattress. Your asshole constricts around the plug, twitching and fluttering as the last jerks of your hips start to subside.

Chest heaves with deep, long, ragged breaths. Tits pushing up and down, jiggling, stomach flexing as you go limp. Limp and fucked out. Asshole and cunt used, hot— weeping lube and cum. You’re a mess. A beautiful, sated, sloppy mess.

A lazy smile on your face, eyes hooded, you stare up at the ceiling. Unaware that you’ve found two black eyes just perfectly— stare right into them as they peer back at you.

Sleep starts to pull, a mushy, hazy brain giving in all too easily, not giving you time to recognize that you’re being watched again. That there’s a presence looming just over you— all around you. Or maybe, it's a mechanism. Maybe you don’t want to recognize it. So you roll over onto your side, shimmy underneath the blankets to gather some warmth. Shut your eyes and give into the sleep— vow to stop watching those cheesy scary movies so late at night.

They’re making you paranoid.

-

The sting of cold on your extremities makes you stir. Letting out a yawn, you flex your toes, pulling the blankets up to your chin as a chill ripples through your bones. You roll onto your back, and push out a breath, not opening your eyes to see the white puff of air. Another shiver, a deep one, rolls through you again, making you shift underneath the blankets and push your face into the pillow.

Moments later is when you perceive a warmth. A soft moan trembles in your throat as you smash the back of your hand against your face, still teetering between sleep and consciousness. The ache between your legs grows harder to ignore— the warmth, starting to sear. Your hips buck soft. Another groan scratches at the back of your throat.

You’re writhing within minutes. A white hot molten pooling in the pit of your stomach and spreading out to the tips of your fingers and toes. The cold nothing but a distant memory as the familiar burn of lechery encompasses your tight body.

It feels so real— a long, forked, rough tongue lapping at your folds, swishing around your clit. You jump suddenly, gasping deep when something like teeth, so many sharp teeth, nibble and bite at the meat of your thighs. There's pressure, pressing down on your stomach and wrapped around your thigh as you draw your knees up slow, digging the balls of your feet into the mattress. The pressure, it’s warm and vast— something like a palm… there’s scratching, quick little tickles over your stomach, your tits, your ankles and calves.

Fingernails. Long, jagged fingernails.

You give in to the fantasy— the dream. Not opening your eyes, not giving into the consciousness that tugs at you, not wanting to lose this euphoria. The pressure on your stomach gets harder, heightening the sensation of the tongue against your core and almost pinning your writhing hips to the sturdy mattress.

The tongue, rough and wet, slithers through your folds, flicking quick against your clit before the mouth sucks you right up— lips, clit— right into it. Tongue flattening against your slit, teasing your pink opening. Then, oh God, and then it slithers inside, that tongue. Massages your hot, swollen muscles from the inside. Your body jolts up, away from the mattress, a breathy, drawn-out snarl bursting from your lips.

You fall back against the mattress— liquify into it really and let your hands roam, finding your taut, thick nipples. Tweaking and rolling them, pinching between deft fingers before palming your tits feeling the goosebumps that have popped up on your flesh again. Your knees fall apart, legs splaying open, putting your swollen cunt on full display for this invisible force.

It’s not long before your hips are jutting up into the dream tongue, the lips, the teeth hard and fast, a sharp sting piercing your clit just as you start to cum again. Loud, shaky moans fill the room as your hips pulse and your back arches. Cursing, whaling as the dream tongue swipes and flicks, lips wrap around your nub again, sucking hard, coaxing every last drop of your release out of you.

Thighs, stomach, arms, cunt burn as a delicious stretch, a used ache settles deep in the exploited muscles. Long, hoarse breaths fill your chest, the air rushing so fast, and yet so slow that it makes you dizzy. You couldn’t move if you wanted to, everything is just so fucking heavy.

Brain is mush again, cloudy and dense, stupid with ardor. Lazy, broken moans vibrate through your vocal chords, body twitches with quick aftershocks every now and again, making you giggle. You feel like you’ve been hit by a mack truck. It’s so nice.

Once your breathing has slowed back to normal, you roll your head towards the window, open your eyes just enough to see the moon cutting into the room. Relief floods through your veins, happy to find it’s still night time, still dark, your room still moody, giving you time to fall back asleep with the pleasant thoughts of whatever just happened— but you’re a mess again. Skin sticky and damp, panties ruined. Your eyes droop and close as you push out a soft breath, hand slipping down your body. You should really clean up.

Maybe in a few minutes. You push your knees together slowly, swaying them back and forth as your fingertips find your clit, toying with it gently. They calm your jumbled nerves quite nicely and immediately— the touch familiar. Your fingers stretch out, tips push down just a little lower as you smile stupid and lazy and blink slowly up at the ceiling.

The smile doesn’t last long.

Your eyes pop open as a simultaneous sharp gasp fills your chest with cold air. Blood runs ice cold through your veins.

“Good,” a scratchy voice sounds as your fingers push through a tuft of thick hair just between your legs, hot breath sticking to tacky flesh.

Shallow, quick breaths squeak through your teeth, eyes wide, lips and chin trembling as your limbs grow heavy— oh so heavy. Frozen. You slam your eyes shut when a hand slides slowly up your side, serrated nails skipping across your skin. A sob chokes out as you slam your eyes shut, fear gripping every inch of your body.

The wet, long, hot tongue of your dreams swipes at your core again but you’re still sensitive— jumpy— hips pushing down into the mattress to get away from it. A second hand grabs your hip, squeezes it hard, stilling your lower half as it laps at you again. The crawling hand finds your left tit, cups it— kneads it slow— rolling the thick bud between even thicker fingers.

“Look at me.” The voice sounds again, like gravel, low and rough.

Your clit is sucked into an instant warmth, a wide, flat tongue massaging— rolling— gently. A soft, tiny little noise thrums in your throat as a shudder ripples through already irritated muscles. The sound pleases whatever is between your legs, as it chuckles deep, the vibrations adding to the sensation of its tongue.

It pinches your nipple— quick, hard— and bites down into the meat of your thigh while also squeezing it with it’s other massive hand, “I want you to look at me.” you hesitate— and it doesn’t like it, “Look at me.”

The chill in its voice forces your eyes open, but you keep them on the ceiling as silent tears trickle down the side of your face and onto your pillow. An influx of air fills your lungs when a hand pushes up to your face. A thumb swipes underneath your eye gently before an index finger curls to wipe away the wet emotion.

“You’re pretty when you cry,” it says, a little softer, still rubbing your cheek slowly, “Look at me.”

Against your better judgement, fighting through the fear, you blink, shifting your eyes towards your drawn-up legs. There are two big eyes, unnaturally blue, probing and upturned, staring back at you, disappearing in the dark as it blinks before they settle back on you. In fact, they stay on you as it’s tongue flicks out at you again, sweeps through your folds, teasing your opening, your clit again. It palms your tit, squeezing before sitting up, exposing it’s true size.

Your eyes follow slowly upward as it towers over you, it’s knees pressing into the mattress, dipping it deep with its weight. You struggle to breathe, eyes flutter quick as your lips tremble, taking in the umbra. There’s a wide chest, thick biceps and forearms and hands and fingers that push your legs back— towards your chest and stomach. Stocky thighs and a—

You gulp slow, sitting up on your elbows as your eyes zero in on the throbbing, weeping cock between its legs. The moon illuminates the pulsing veins running the impressive length, the wet, red, dripping cockhead— cum already dribbling out, splashing on your skin. It’s hot and silky— dense, the cum, as it wipes the spot away with it’s thumb, a nail cutting into your skin.

It grabs itself, strokes it’s massive cock slow as it drags its eyes along your naked body. Another shudder trembles through you when it teases your cunt with it’s cockhead, pressing into your clit, dragging through your folds, prodding at your slit. You let your head drop slightly, let your eyes close to slits, let your mouth drop as it’s fingers skip up and down your thighs, it’s jagged, black nails tickling you.

Errant hips canter upward, pushing your clit against its tip again, coating it with your slick before you let it settle back against your opening.

“Now that you can see me, beautiful,” it’s raspy voice sounds, starting to push into you, “I want you to scream.”

It juts into you hard, pulling a loud scream out of you— just what it wanted. You pant as it pushes, deep, deep, deep, until its hips are flush with yours, cock completely sunk. It doesn’t move right away, lets you wiggle and twitch, hiss and grunt as you adjust to the size— the absolute fullness. Stretched so wide, clasped so tight around this pulsating cock that you aren’t sure that you’ll be able to walk tomorrow.

But you’ll risk it.

It locks one of your legs around it’s waist, throws the other over its shoulder, slipping its massive hand down the length, down your calf, over your knee, along your thigh until it’s fingers settle on your cunt— on your clit. Slow circles are drawn into your flesh, a gentle pressure applied as it pulls back, cock dragging out of your death grip. You hiss as it sinks back in, reaching something deep.

It’s blistering after that. Within seconds, hips are snapping, skin slapping against… skin? You aren’t even sure. Long fingers are everywhere, tits, stomach, legs, cunt— gripping, groping, pinching. They venture up to your chin, up to your parted, swollen lips, where they linger. You send wide, innocent eyes up to its blues, tits sliding up and down as you lunge with each thrust— and open your mouth wider, sliding your tongue along the tip of its finger.

When a husky moan rumbles through its chest, your heart soars unexpectedly. It’s pleased with your eagerness— your reception.

You’re empty suddenly. A strong hand grips your side, pulls you roughly down the bed. Flips you over before yanking your hips upward, propping you up on your knees. And then, you’re pinned— an unyielding grip around the back of your neck holding you in place. You grunt and start to whimper,  another bout of fright coursing through your veins as it smashes the side of your face into the sheets and pillows.

It fucks back into you slow, a long, shuddering groan spilling out of your trembling lips, “My pet,” it speaks again, squeezing the back of your neck a little harder, “Such a sweet little thing.”

Reaching back, your fingers graze over a sinewy thigh, taking hold as you start to spring forward with each drive of its hips. You slam your eyes closed, more emotion squeezing out of them. The dull burn is back in the pit of your stomach. Your toes and fingers start to curl and flex as each stroke gets sweeter and sweeter, hitting that deep little spot within.

Goosebumps pop up again. Heat blooms across your skin, filling your face and chest and stomach. Spit dribbles from the corner of your mouth as two pouty lips form a perfect little “o” as you start to shriek, each sound coming faster and faster, louder and louder. Your fingers find your nub again, rubbing and slapping to set this release in motion. The sound of your slick is sloppy, wet— and gorgeous, to both you and it.

You’re cursing, sobbing, begging within minutes, teetering right on the edge. It starts to thumb at your asshole, rubbing the rim gently, pushing just inside— coaxing you on.

That’s all it takes. You tense hard— toes curl, fists ball, stomach clenches— and then stiffen as your orgasm hits. A white hot flushing through as you quake, cunt spasming around it’s heavy cock. Jammed full, orgasm rippling, fingers still thrashing against your constricting clit, you’re dizzy, warm all over, sweaty and freezing cold all at the same time.

Your companion— this monster of the night, lurking in the shadows— hammers on behind you, pumping, gripping, squeezing, pushing you down further into the mattress as his strokes get sharper. Stronger. More forceful.

It gets loud. Growling so deep and heavy that the sound shakes the walls— the bed. God, the poor neighbors. It grips your hip with one hand so hard you yelp in pain, hands flailing, trying to grip and grab anything they can as it fucks into you.

One, two more jabs and it stills quick— and that’s when you feel it. Another white hot, this time all concentrated in your overstimulated, tight, wet cunt. Long ribbons of cum, silk soft and warm, fill you up, up, up— to the brim. It’s cock veins pulsate, it’s girth seemingly growing wider, stretching you more as it unloads. Cock jumping in your tight grasp as cum weeps from it.

You take it all, humming loud and proud, panting as you feel it’s seed spill out, down the inside of your thigh.

It drags out slow, as if not wanting to at all. Like it likes the feeling of your messy, cum filled cunt all wrapped around him. You feel that swollen cock head through your folds again, slowly pushing up and down your clit, teasing your slit. A finger, and then another glance over your asshole— lovingly. Softly. Massaging the twitching rim before burying it’s hard cock between your cheeks, slapping you with it.

“No more,” you plead, voice small and broken and pathetic, “Please, I can’t.”

Another chuckle rumbles through its chest, “Ok sweet girl,” there’s a hand on the back of your head, stroking curly, damp, surely tangled hair, “Such a good girl.”

Hands are back on your skin again, fingers pushing and pulling, adjusting you on the mattress. You’re flat now, splayed out on your belly, legs spread, hands shoved underneath your pillows and head. Balmy skin, puffy flesh is soothed by slow gushes of breath, making you jump and whine more— whimper more. The bed sinks again as it moves, pulled again, your back up against a massive chest and hard stomach.

It wraps around you, slinging an arm and a leg over you, enveloping you in its warmth. Rids your face of the wetness, pushing the remaining tears away with its thumb. Nuzzles in close— a scratchy cheek against your own.

A heavy hand over your heart.

“I like this,” it says soft, tapping along with your heartbeat, “The rhythm.”

You hum again, happily fucked out and cock drunk, already feeling an ache settling into your muscles and bones. Hips and ass push back into its hips, pushing its dense cock against you— wanting to feel it resting against your cunt, “You got a name?”

“Brarthronoz.”

“Excuse me?” you giggle through a deep yawn as your eyes flutter.

It— he nuzzles again, pushing his face closer, “Bucky is fine, pet.”

“Bucky,” you sigh a little, “I like that.”

You fall asleep with the soft rhythm of his breath against your neck.

-

When you wake, he’s gone— but you kinda figured that anyway. The oranges of the sky and rising sun chases away all the shadows. You go about your routine but a little slower— inflamed, throbbing arms and legs make showering and brushing your teeth a little harder this morning.

You look for him though, in the corner of your little kitchen, in that small spot where the sun just never quite reaches.

A smile tugs at the corners of your mouth when you find a pair of bright blue eyes fixed on you, a little wink encouraging you further.

“Toast?” You ask cheekily, a wide smile on your face as you offer him a plate.

[blissedoutphil]

Cool Down

Never thought I’d be writing a prompt from the man himself in the year he’s barely around. Also anon’s idea is A+ thank you for that, I hope you enjoy!

The (**) leads to a nsfw link so be careful if you wanna click it!

3019 words of ice play, Top!Phil, bottom!dan, ice play, blowjob, smut

or read on ao3!

Dan groaned at the sound of the doorbell. Phil and his damn packages. It was so hot that he'd decided to spend the day not moving at all from the spot on the couch near the fan, but Phil was busy filming so he had no choice.

He reluctantly stepped away from the fan and went to answer the door. He didn’t bother putting a shirt on and was just in his shorts, because who needs a layer over their sticky skin in fucking 34ºC weather.

He was too hot to even feel conscious about being topless when facing the cute deliveryman. The guy didn’t look fazed either, probably most people he delivered packages to were wearing as little clothing as possible on this sweltering day. He dumped Phil’s packages on the kitchen table and went back to his spot.

A few hours later Phil walked in, in just shorts too.

“Whew, I’m glad filming’s finally done. Couldn’t wait to take off my shirt the entire time,” he complained, plopping down between Dan and the fan.

“Hey! Stop blocking the fan,” Dan toed at Phil’s side to get him to move, “go get your packages on the kitchen table.”

“Oh, they’re here already?” Phil got up immediately, looking quite excited that his order had arrived.

“You making a Wish video again or something?” Dan asked from where he was still lounging.

“No, just got some things I thought were cool.”

“Phil, we’ve got enough useless things lying around here, you gotta stop falling for the ads” Dan rolled his eyes.

“Uh, I beg to differ, you loved that Nic Cage pillow cover,” Phil said indignantly, “plus I got something that’s definitely useful for you right now.”

That piqued Dan’s interest, and he quirked an eyebrow at Phil, “If it’s not another fan or a portable A/C then I don’t agree with you.”

“It’s better than that, trust me,” Phil had that glint in his eye that Dan knew meant he was planning something good.

But he was also being sneaky about it, refusing to tell Dan what he got and telling him he’s got to wait a few hours.

So they spent the rest of the warm day lazily lounging about and trying but failing to pay attention to the tv since their brains felt melted from the heat. Phil had eaten 2 ice lollies, and made huge glasses of iced coffee for both of them, but they still felt warm as soon as their cold treats were gone.

"If whatever you bought is better than a fan then can we please use it now?!” Dan said exasperatedly, wiping sweat off his brow.

“So impatient,” Phil chided, but he got up to retrieve the item.

“Actually,” Phil continued as he walked over to the kitchen, “I got this idea after I saw your tweet.”

Dan craned his neck to look over at his boyfriend, squinting his eyes suspiciously.

“You gonna help me stick some ice up my ass?” he joked, but stopped chuckling when he realised Phil wasn’t laughing along with him.

“I mean,” Phil shrugged, looking into the freezer, “you could’ve just texted that to me.”

Dan’s breath hitched as it dawned on him that Phil was dead serious about following through with his joke tweet.

“It’s too hot for sex right now, Phil,” he griped.

“Not as hot as your idea. Hey, describing ice play as hot is kinda ironic,” Phil grinned.

Dan rolled his eyes fondly. “What does my tweet have anything to do with your Wish purchase anyway?”

“It’s like Wish knew what you tweeted, I think they’re spying on us.”

“Spit it out, Lester, what did you get? A dick-shaped ice tray or something?”

Phil peeked out from the freezer door. “That does sound like something Wish probably has.”

Dan barked out a laugh. The ridiculousness of the idea based on his joke coupled with the determination on Phil’s face resulted in him doubled over from laughter.

Dan pressed his hand over his chest at an attempt to calm down to talk, “Don’t tell me you actually!”

Phil shrugged nonchalantly, “your wish is my command, who else was gonna fulfil your requests on twitter?”

Dan shook his head slightly at his ridiculous boyfriend. He heard the freezer shut and Phil beckoned him over to the kitchen, so he lazily got up and padded over to where his boyfriend was in front of the counter.

The moment he stepped close enough for Phil to reach out for him, Phil grabbed him and pinned him against the counter. He grunted as Phil turned them so his back hit against the counter, barely having time to register what was happening.

Phil had a smirk as he held Dan in place by his hips. He headed straight for Dan’s lips, and Dan happily welcomed the kiss. But Dan’s eyes widened and he moaned in surprise when he opened his mouth and a small ice cube was pushed into his mouth. The ice cube quickly melted between their tongues, and Phil only broke the kiss when it was completely gone.

Dan gasped out a surprised laugh. He already had an idea of what Phil was up to yet somehow he still did not see that coming.

Phil winked in that endearing way where it almost counted as blinking instead, and reached for something on the counter behind him. He gently pushed Dan’s head down to his neck and Dan got the hint, starting to mouth along his neck to his shoulder.

Dan had barely started on sucking a hickey when Phil gripped his hair and yanked him back up to kiss him again. Dan still moaned in surprise when he felt another ice cube being pushed into his mouth again.

Dan noted that the ice wasn’t exactly cube shaped as it got passed between them. Phil rubbed it on Dan’s tongue with his own, feeling it melt.

Their lips felt cold but their bodies grew warmer, sticky against each other as their chests pressed together. Phil placed a hand on Dan’s chest to balance himself and also have some space between them so that their body heat wouldn’t be too uncomfortably hot. He could feel Dan’s heart beating faster against his palm.

Once again, Phil looked over Dan’s shoulder to pop another ice into his mouth after the previous one completely melted. This time, he stuck his tongue out to show Dan the ice.

“Oh,” was all Dan could manage before he broke out into laughter.

Phil couldn’t help but giggle too, taking the dick-shaped ice from his tongue and holding it out for Dan to take a proper look.

“Cute innit, you guessed right. I think Wish can actually grant any wish we have,” Phil beamed at his own dumb joke.

Dan looked behind him and saw a big glass on their table top full of small ice that were shaped simply like bananas with two circles at the end.

“Not what I thought of at all when I tweeted that,” Dan laughed.

He turned back to Phil when he felt Phil place the ice on his chest. He watched as Phil traced the ice along his chest, watched as the dick shrank quickly until all of it turned to water trailing down his stomach. How was playing with ice so hot?

“Don’t think these tiny things in my ass would be satisfying enough, though,” he smirked.

“Oh, I know,” Phil squeezed Dan’s ass, “this is just one of the things in my Wish package.”

Dan didn’t have time to ask anything because Phil was already pressing an ice-dick to his lips, and he opened his mouth to accept it, Phil’s lips following immediately after.

A strangled whimper escaped Dan’s mouth when a sudden cold bit at his nipple. He gripped Phil’s upper arm for purchase, but Phil wasn’t letting up on their kiss or the sliding of the ice across his chest.

The ice was circled around his nipple, going over it until it hardened. Dan shivered a little, but Phil only broke the kiss to pop another ice into their mouths and press another against his other nipple, repeating until it was equally numb and hard.

Dan shuddered, swallowing the melted ice. He was definitely starting to cool down, feeling the cold water run down his chest. Phil was still tracing another ice slowly, from his clavicles to his chest to his tummy - like he didn’t want to miss a spot.

They were both already hard, and with his free hand, Phil began palming Dan through his shorts. Dan whined into Phil’s mouth, canting his hips into Phil’s hand.

Phil pressed an ice below Dan’s collarbone using his lips. He slowly traced it down Dan’s body, and Dan held onto his shoulders as he went down. The ice melted completely by the time it reached Dan’s bellybutton, but Phil continued kissing his way down, until he was properly on his knees.

Above him, he heard Dan’s breaths coming out ragged. He licked a drop of water that was trickling down Dan’s happy trail to the waistband of his shorts, then started mouthing Dan’s dick through the shorts. He could feel Dan’s dick twitch, straining against the shorts.

Dan moaned, tugging at Phil’s hair to move him away just long enough for him to remove the only piece of cloth on him. He hastily pulled his shorts down, and Phil helped him step out of it completely.

Dan shivered involuntarily as Phil started licking along his shaft. Phil’s tongue felt cold on him, but he felt himself heating up from the way Phil was staring up at him while swirling his tongue on his slit.

“My god,” Dan moaned when Phil went down on him proper, a cool sensation in contrast to the usual warmth of his mouth.

But the cold didn’t last long of course, as Phil started bobbing his head in earnest. Dan’s balls met Phil’s chin with each time Phil went down on him.

“Phil,” Dan moaned, trying to catch his breath to speak, “Phil I won’t last before seeing your other - oh- your other purchase.”

At that, Phil kneeled up and slowed his movements. His free hand snaked up to reach the glass on the edge of the table. The dick-shaped ice left in there had melted some, and he dipped his fingers in to wet them.

Dan was still too caught up in the blowjob to notice what Phil was doing, so he let out a small surprised yelp when Phil’s cold fingers pressed against his hole. He spread his legs a little, relaxing to let Phil finger him.

A strained whimper escaped Dan, starting to feel overwhelmed from Phil’s mouth still on him and now his fingers in him too. Phil began to pump his finger in and out, adding a second finger soon after. He looked up at Dan, gauging how he was holding up so that he knew to pace himself and not let Dan come before he could move on to the next part. Dan was gazing down at him, panting and looking flushed despite all the ice rubbed on him.

Phil moved off of Dan’s dick with a pop when he was done fingering him. He stood up and gently manoeuvred Dan to turn around and bend over on the counter top.

“I don’t think you’ve cooled down enough,” Phil said nonchalantly, tapping Dan’s ass.

Dan folded his arms and rested his cheek against them, humming in agreement with Phil.

“Gimme more ice dicks,” he chuckled and wiggled his butt, “you still haven’t fulfilled my twitter wish.”

“Once again,” Phil smacked Dan’s ass playfully, “so impatient.”

Phil took some ice that hasn’t yet melted in the glass and placed them neatly in a line down Dan’s back along his spine, from the bottom of his neck right to the spot between his back dimples. Dan could count 6, and could feel the coldness spread from each of them through his skin. He was then ordered to keep still so the ice wouldn’t fall off.

“Actually,” Phil went to open the freezer, “I don’t think I can fulfil your twitter wish exactly.”

Dan made a questioning noise, confused. But he couldn’t turn to look at Phil.

“You asked for a cube, but that’s not what I have,” Phil took out his next item from the freezer and finally showed it to Dan.

“Oh. My. God,” Dan uttered in a mix of shock and amazement, “fucking Wish!”

Phil giggled. He opened the dick mould (**) to reveal the ice in the shape of a very realistic penis, complete with the balls and head and veiny shaft. It was rather large too, Dan reckoned, almost as big as him.

Dan could feel the tiny ice dicks melting on his back, the water dripping down his sides as his body thrummed in excitement to try out the new toy.

“Ready?” Phil asked, taking out the ice from the mould and rubbing it along Dan’s crack.

Dan shivered at the contact, it was fucking cold. But he didn’t want to waste anymore time and cause the ice to melt before they could even start.

“Yesss,” he keened, sticking his ass up a bit more.

Phil took Dan’s arm and brought it behind him, a silent order that Dan understood immediately. He spread his asscheeks with both hands, his face planted against the table as he looked on at Phil expectantly.

Phil quickly pressed the head of the ice-dick into Dan’s hole, and Dan hissed at the coldness penetrating him. The balls part of the ice was already starting to melt in Phil’s hand, but he took his time pushing it into Dan, letting Dan adjust to the intrusion. He knew Dan could take the size since it was smaller than him, although only by a bit, but he wasn’t sure how it would feel to have a frozen item entering him.

“Oh my god,” Dan mumbled. He could feel the cold spread inside him, a much more intense sensation than at the start of their play when the tiny ice was just spreading a bit of cold on his skin.

“How does it feel?” Phil asked as he slowly pushed another inch in, a steady hand on Dan’s lower back.

“Fucking cold,” Dan grit out, “strange but. Good. Keep going.”

“Good,” Phil repeated, and kept going like Dan requested until the ice balls were pressed against Dan’s ass, a little out of shape from having melted slightly.

“So weird, I can like, feel it melting inside me,” Dan commented, swaying his hips a bit.

Phil grabbed the ice balls and slowly dragged it out a bit, noting that the ice already lost its veiny details, now looking like a really long and thick ice pop. He then pushed it back in and repeated, fucking Dan with the ice and watching as it grew smaller in size.

Water was trickling out of Dan’s ass and down his legs, and now he really felt cool all over. Phil let go of the ice and kept it in Dan, reaching under Dan and placing his cold hand on Dan’s hard dick. Dan jerked at the touch, and moaned when Phil started stroking him.

Dan felt like his ass was going numb from the cold, not really able to clench around the shrinking ice. He was able to feel Phil sliding his own dick along his crack, though. He wiggled his ass and stuck it out more, encouraging Phil.

“All the cold water’s being wasted,” Phil noted as more melted ice trickled down Dan’s thighs, “here, let me help you keep it in.”

With that, Phil pulled his own shorts off and thrusted into Dan, eliciting a loud moan from Dan. The small length of ice that hasn’t melted was pushed further into him, and Dan could feel the cold piercing his insides.

“Oh,” Phil moaned, totally not used to fucking into a cold hole.

He began to fuck Dan faster, and the ice definitely melted faster with the movement and their combined body heat. Dan held onto the edge of the table, bracing himself against it as he was fucked. He tried to clench around Phil but still felt too numb to work his muscles there.

Phil’s hand moved back to jerking Dan off, wanting him to come at the same time. Dan was moaning expletives, his hips colliding against the table with every hard thrust from Phil.

The glass of tiny ice-dicks was completely melted, and Phil poured some of the cold water on Dan’s back, spreading it around with his hand. Dan squealed, warning Phil that he was close. It only made Phil speed up both his thrusts and strokes, until Dan wasn’t able to form any words anymore.

Soon enough, Dan came with a high pitched moan, feeling warmth rise in his groin despite all the cold water in and on him. Phil followed almost immediately after, filling Dan with his come. He stayed inside Dan until he fully calmed down from his high.

Dan was lying pliant on the table when Phil pulled out. He realised that the numbness was finally gone, and he clenched his ass to keep the mix of come and melted ice in him for just a bit longer. Phil laid on top of Dan, pressing his body against Dan’s back, and Dan finally felt a bit of warmth again.

“So how was that? Was it everything you wished for when typing that tweet?” Phil murmured in between soft, lazy kisses on the back of Dan’s neck and shoulders, smirking against Dan's damp skin.

“Hmm,” Dan pondered, “not exactly. You didn’t shove it in me like I tweeted.”

Phil huffed, pushing off of Dan and smacking his ass, “you clean this mess.”

Dan merely laughed. He turned around as soon as Phil was off him and pulled Phil into a hug before Phil could get too far.

“Okay okay, I loved it. And I’ll clean up here, only if you promise to try the ice dick too.”

--------------------------------------

smh at the way I kept referencing Wish but only found the mould on etsy. also 'cold' doesn't look like a proper word anymore. Anyway, hope all of your summer’s been good (as good as it can get in this pandemic...)

[missneko-otaku]

Sakakibara Yasumasa

A Faint Affection (MC x Yasumasa)

-Chapter 1/ Chapter 2/ Chapter 3/ Chapter 4/ Chapter 5/ Chapter 6-7/

(Writer’s notes: Omy gosh..finally, after so, so long...! I am posting the continuation of my Yasumasa fic again. It is not dead yet! My Yasumasa fic is still alive and kicking~ XD Whew~ (・ε・`*) … I had been writing and trying to finish these two chapters for almost a week now. (And if it wasn’t for the latest Tenka Yasumasa event I read from Agas-chan, I wouldn’t feel more inspired and try to reaally give time for my fic again. So busy with life that I had a hard time squeezing some time for writing this fic. But finally! I managed now to squeeze my time and finish these two chapters! Yehey! Waah I feel so tired ＿ﾉ乙(､ﾝ､)＿ 

I even had to reread the whole fic from chapter 1-5 just to make sure I am not forgetting or missing something XD 

As always, please bear with my English and writing skills~ (๑•́ ₃ •̀๑) I am no pro, just average XD ~ And hopefully,ｖ(⌒ｏ⌒)ｖI hope you have fun and enjoy reading this fic as much as I do!)

Chapter 6-7

Running in the middle of the night, 

                            Tomorrow morning with a cold.

                                          And an evening full of sadness. 

“Did something good happened?” inquire Umeko, her face observing me so carefully.

It is early morning, we have been tasked to prepare food early for some reason. The sky hasn’t lighted up yet but you can hear the roosters outside crowing already. A sign that morning sun is approaching. A brand new day for all of us.

“Haah!??” startled by her sudden question, I almost drop the knife I am holding. “Whhha--, why do you think so?” I reply.

“Well, you seem.. “ she pauses,  giggling she continues and says, “you seem like someone who is in love.”

“A whaaat!!?” I find my tone suddenly rising. 

“Who is the lucky girl? Ayeee, Yahiko!” squeaks Umeko while elbowing me in my side. “I didn’t know you have one!” exclaimed Umeko again.

“What are you even saying? I don’t know what you are talking about to be honest.”

“Tsk. You can’t fool me young man, I can see it and feel it. Something is different with you these days.” says Umeko as she continues peeling the potatoes beside me.

“I think you are just imagining things.” I reply as I hold the knife and the potato I am peeling more firmly.

“Imagining things? Maybe you are the one who is imagining something there! Tell that to your giggling face!” she says pointing the small knife to me. “Do you even take a look at yourself? You are giggling by yourself since we started peeling these potatoes.”

“Am I?? Reaally?” I say, caught off guard.

“Yeah! You keep on smiling and smiling while peeling these potatoes! I wonder why? Hmmm???” teases Umeko while she pinches my cheeks with both of her hands.

Do I look like that? Was I really am smiling?

I ask myself countless times inside my head. 

***

Breakfast was served earlier than usual. After having breakfast, lord Ieyasu and lord Sakai with some of the retainers departed to Owari to visit lord Nobunaga leaving the castle for a few days to the trusted trio: lord Tadakatsu, lord Yasumasa and Toramatsu. The three are left in charge of the affairs in the castle. 

So here I am, as usual, outside the veranda just finished everything that needed to be done. I am glad that I am able to do and finished every chore fast. Now finally, I can relax a bit. I look at the swaying sheets of my laundry that are hanging so perfectly out in the sunshine. I feel proud for the good work I have done. As I take in the breeze around me, my mind floats back to what Umeko was saying.

You seem like someone who is in love..

Whhhhaaaa! No no no! Haha, what the hell? Hahaha Umeko is so jumping into conclusions! Me? In love? To whom?? I was just smiling. I was smiling because of what happened a few days ago. Nothing more. I was just happy that lord Yasumasa even tagged along in getting the two children back home safely despite his nonstop complaints. And I was maybe, yes, giggling because lord Yasumasa doesn’t have the slightest clue that those are the very same children that secretly gave him pressed flowers before. I was just happy because everything feels like fate and such. Yeah, that’s it. 

I clapped my hands together making a loud sound in the air. 

Umeko is really jumping to conclusions. I hope she wouldn’t spread any rumours to our fellow maids.

“Anyway! Why am I thinking so hard about this? The weather is so nice today! Perhaps I should go out and buy some new ingredients for our dessert.”  I tell myself with glee.

***

“Hey is that Yahiko? Toramatsu?” says Tadakatsu as he points Yahiko who just went outside the castle gates with basket in one hand.

“Yes, why?” says Toramatsu

Lord Tadakatsu together with Toramatsu and of course lord Yasumasa is currently walking outside in the castle garden. You can visibly see the sweat forming on their clothes and faces as they leisurely walk in the open garden. They have finished practicing their swordsmanship with their retainers a couple of minutes ago. 

“Nothing really, haha. But, I can’t help but notice that he is really a hardworking lad. You must be so lucky to have him Yasumasa?” says Tadakatsu as he laughs.

“I think I have to agree with you lord Tadakatsu about that,” says Toramatsu, “Yahiko is a very hardworking person but I am afraid he might over push himself.” concern present on his voice.

Meanwhile, Yasumasa who is standing beside them nods in agreement for the first time with Toramatsu and says, “True, he is very useful I have to say. Way more useful and responsible than any other servants out there that worked under me.” 

“Oooh..is that a compliment to Yahiko? Haha” teases lord Tadakatsu.

“Take it whatever you want, Tadakatsu.” says Yasumasa disinterested as he wipes his sweaty face with his kimono sleeves.

“But, I do really hope he doesn’t overwork himself too much. He handles almost all the chores in the castle. I think it won't bring any good to his health later on, if he keeps on abusing his body, doing everything by himself.” says Toramatsu in a whisper as the three of them walk.

As Toramatsu says this, Yasumasa looks back behind him. He looks at the castle gate with something on his mind.

***

As soon as I got back from my mini shopping, I start helping out in the kitchen. It is almost lunchtime, so the old kitchen ladies are all busy preparing the meals of the retainers. I help with ladling the hot soup, filling their porcelain bowls to the brim, then putting them in the trays that are lined up in front of me. After everything is prepared, we start to distribute the trays on the main hall so that the hungry retainers can eat their meal while it is still hot. 

I go and serve Toramatsu, lord Tadakatsu and lord Yasumasa their meals as usual. 

“Thanks for the meal, Yahiko” says lord Tadakatsu beaming with a smile.

“Why don’t you eat with us too, you must be pretty starving by now” says Toramatsu, smiling at me with some gentleness in his eyes. 

Meanwhile, lord Yasumasa on the other hand is just listening to us three while he eats his food.

Feeling shy to eat with them so suddenly, I reject the kind offer. “I umm.. I am not yet hungry so don’t worry milord” I say when suddenly as I am about to stand up from my kneeling spot, my stomach rumbles without any warning. 

“!!”

“I think your stomach says otherwise.” says nonchalantly by lord Yasumasa who is now drinking the hot steaming soup from his porcelain bowl.

Lord Tadakatsu laughs at me. I can’t help but blush so hard in front of them. My face turns slightly red like a ripened tomato. Toramatsu on the other hand, tries to stifle his laughter and end up just giggling quietly. 

“Just eat with us, Yahiko.” 

“Yeah, eat with us..!”

Invites Toramatsu and lord Tadakatsu again to me.

“Umm..haha, no, I am okay. And I still have some things to do. Well then, excuse me my lords!” I bow and walk quickly from the main hall not even looking back because of the embarrassment. Gosh, why of all time!!??? Why!!? I want to crawl into some hole and never go out. This is so embarrassing!

“Yahiko is cute, don’t you think Yasumasa?” says lord Tadakatsu innocently without any deep meaning at all. 

“What’s so cute about a person who lets himself starve or lets his stomach rumble in front of everybody.” says coldly and unimpressed by lord Yasumasa.

“Ohh come on! Yahiko is cute! Isn’t he Toramatsu? You agree with me right?” lord Tadakatsu says again in a gleefully manner, pointing his chopsticks to Toramatsu.

“Instead saying that and giving him a cold shoulder, you should have asked him to eat with us. He was probably shy in front of you to say yes to us. He must be worried that you might not like the idea with him eating with us or maybe with you.” says Toramatsu in a faint stern tone towards lord Yasumasa.

“What!? So are you saying that it’s my fault now?” irritated, lord Yasumasa unconsciously slams his chopsticks on his tray. “Is it my fault that he was shy, that he couldn’t eat with us and rejected your offer? Why do you have to blame me for it, as if it is my responsible or something..”

“Just saying. You should have been more thoughtful.” Toramatsu replies without looking back, continuing eating his hot meal in a calm manner.

“Tsk.” lord Yasumasa snaps, now feeling a little bit guilty towards Yahiko who seems tired and really hungry just by the sound of his rumbling stomach earlier.

“Umm, hello? does anyone agree with what I am saying? Isn’t Yahiko cute??” beaming and smiling and waving like a fool, lord Tadakatsu asks them again.

“Oh! Just shut up for goodness sake, Tadakatsu!” yells lord Yasumasa, his brows furrowing into a deep arch clearly irritated by what Toramatsu said to him. “Just shut up..!” he says again to lord Tadakatsu who is oblivious of what is happening to his surroundings.  

***

Late afternoon, alone in the kitchen.

It has been a tiring day somehow for all of us. After lunch, the retainers was tasked by Toramatsu to clean up their rooms, then their belongings. Lord Tadakatsu and lord Yasumasa on the other hand, tasked the other retainers to polish their swords and their armors and other weaponries they have inside the storage. When they all finished their tasks, us servants made them some refreshments and desserts. Now that everyone is just relaxing on their own, here I am in the kitchen--my favorite place-- doing some wiping. My peaceful moment is suddenly been shattered by some loud voice coming from outside.

“Hey, Yahiko! Is it true!? Is it true!??”

Umeko suddenly comes running to me shouting in the kitchen like she heard some kind of big news from outside, almost knocking all the clean pots on the table that I have been wiping so far.

“Umeko, would you just calm down.” I say as I stack the wiped and cleaned pots in order again on the table. “Why are you shouting? Did something happen in town?” I ask, inquisitively.

“You wouldn’t believe what I just heard!” she catches her breath, then for a moment starts talking again “they say lord Yasumasa struck an innocent civilian!”

‘What!? When?!” I almost yelled at her, so shocked at what I just heard from her mouth. Lord Yasumasa, struck a civilian? is this even true?

“Well, they say, he beat up an old man in the streets a few days ago. All the old man did was he was trying to teach this certain samurai lord to be respectful towards elders. But it didn’t end well. He got beaten up badly by that young man. And it turns out that the man they are referring to is lord Yasumasa. Many say that they saw the horrible scene too. It is the talk of the town!” says Umeko.

No way..How did the story turned up into something like that? Don’t tell me that it is the drunkard we met before. That man is saying such a big nasty lie to the townspeople. He is trying to make lord Yasumasa look bad! 

“Where did you hear that? That is nonsense! Don’t believe such a big lie.” I snap at Umeko.

“Why are you getting a bit mad at me, Yahiko? I just heard it. And the old man himself was the one who was telling it all out there. He and some men also says that lord Yasumasa doesn’t deserve his title and such...that he is taking advantage of his position just because he is a samurai lord..”

I can’t believe this, why? Why say such bad things? There’s a faint pang lingering inside me that I can’t fully explain. I feel sad for lord Yasumasa who doesn’t seem to know anything. He did something good only to turned out bad like this? And at the same time, I feel very angry too, to the persons who spreads such bad lies about him. Even though lord Yasumasa can be a jerk, still saying such lies is still wrong. It is not right at all.

“Yahiko??”

“I’m sorry Umeko for snapping like that at you. But don’t believe them. That man is lying. I think he was the drunkard we met back then and he was trying to hurt some kids, lord Yasumasa just taught him a lesson. I was there. So believe me. I know lord Yasumasa can be snappy at all times, but after working under him, I can tell that he is a good man. He will not do something so bad like that.” I say to Umeko. Umeko, on the other hand is listening to me quietly and eagerly. “Is that so? I believe you then! I’m sorry too, I just got carried away because people were talking about it so I was just so shocked that I came running straight to you here right away just to confirm it. Don’t worry, if ever I heard someone here in this castle talking about it, I will say that it isn’t true.” 

“Thanks, Umeko.” I smile at her, feeling happy about her sincerity and  that the misunderstanding has been cleared up. 

***

Just outside, the two servants don’t know that somebody has been quietly listening to their conversation. It is lord Yasumasa, standing just outside near the kitchen door. He didn’t mean to listen or eavesdrop. He was supposed to ask Yahiko something, maybe ask him to do some errands for him and maybe will tell him that he can have the day after his task. He stands there, looking at the two quietly. Or more so, looking at Yahiko with such bafflement. Eyes with a faint doubtful expression. His brows in deep furrows, as if he is trying to understand something in his head but he can’t. He observes Yahiko from afar and murmurs to himself, “I really don’t get...this guy..”

***

The setting sun paints the afternoon sky with splotches and smears of crimson and orange colors. Evening is approaching slowly as the sun says goodbye to the day again. After finishing everything I have to do in the kitchen, I make my way to lord Yasumasa’s quarters. Walking in the corridor with a tray of tea and manju on my hands, I can’t help but recollect inside my head what happened earlier regarding the false rumours about lord Yasumasa. I feel angry for lord Yasumasa. I wish I was the one who was out in town so that I could correct those bad people and tell the townspeople that those are nothing but lies. That they shouldn’t believe a word that that old man and his men was spreading about.

But no matter how much I wanted to do something, all I can do now is just sigh and hope that these will stop soon. 

I see from afar lord Yasumasa’s quarters already lit up inside. Usually he is late going to his quarters but now he seems early. He must be so exhausted if that is so. Lord Yasumasa probably returned early to rest. Poor lord Yasumasa, he must have had no clue about what’s going around in town. 

Should I inform him? Or not? But..ughh what to do. What should I do… I ponder as I get nearer to his quarters.

“Lord Yasumasa, I brought you some tea and dessert.” I announce myself.

“Bring it inside.” he says flatly. 

I come inside and place the hot tea and his plate of newly made manju on his table. He has been sorting some paper scrolls again. 

After serving his tea and manju I sit near the sliding door waiting, waiting for the perfect time to tell lord Yasumasa about it. At the end, I think he should know about this. But, soon as I try to open my mouth, I can’t say nor find the right words right away. I pause, and then ponder. Ponder but then when I try to speak, I find it hard. At last, after what seemed like an eternity, I take a deep breath, then I call him in a low tone that is enough to be heard. 

“Lord Yasumasa, no matter how many times I think about it, I think you should know.”

“And what is that? Be sure that what you are about to tell me is really important or else don’t bother at all.” He says, his right hand stops from whatever it is doing. Finally he looks at me, as if he is ready to listen to what I am about to say. 

I gather my courage, and opened my mouth. 

“Somebody out there is putting such bad rumours about you, milord. I think it should be stopped or else the whole town will probably think that it is true.” I say with sincere concern for him.

“And?” 

It was an unexpected dull reply. It caught me off guard. 

“And?? I-- I think we should do something about it milord.”

“Why? Just like you said it is just a bunch of crap. Lies. Why bother?” he replies without a care in the world.

“But-- milord... don’t you feel..wronged here? Don’t you feel angry or something, because I feel angry.” I say somehow bluntly, my hands unconsciously gripping my hakama while sitting there in his room. 

He observes me like he doesn’t understand me. Like he doesn’t understand what I am trying to say to him or where I am coming from. There’s this bewilderment expression showing on his face. His brows forming into an arch, like he is trying to figure out me on his head. 

Finally, he speaks, breaking the brief silence that surrounded the room.

“I don’t understand you at all.” he says. 

“Huh?? What do you mean milord?” I say in response to him, totally confused.

Then his expression changed into his usual annoyed expression, that expression that I see from him from time to time, whenever he thinks I am being stupid or being an airhead again. 

“What I mean, fool, is that why would you feel bothered by it? Why would you even feel angry? It’s not about you. So why get so worked up about something that you don’t have business with?” he says sounding irritated like as if I am making a real big deal out of it--which I don’t understand.

“But milord--” 

“Ohh, stop.” he interjects, “Can’t you even, for once properly use your head? Why don’t you put all your energy into something more productive? Instead of complaining to me about this crap that is not worthy of my time or your time, if I were you, I would just use it to something more productive. Know what? I don’t need you and your negativity here. Go take a bath or something. Don’t get into my nerves while I ask you nicely.” he says, his hands shooing me away like I am being a pest to him right now.

Seeing that the conversation is really over, I just give up. And make my way outside of his room.

***

“Ugggghhhhh..!! I DON’T GET HIM AT ALL!” I say aloud, my voice echoing in the whole room. I punch the water around me, making a huge splash of a mess. Here I am inside the public bathroom of the castle taking a nice warm soak in this wooden bathtub. As usual, I made sure that everyone had their bath  before going here. It is hard living in disguise, you have to be cautious especially when it comes to taking a bath and changing my clothes. But it sure feels sometimes nice to have the whole room for me to use. It is quiet and no one would bother me. And I can let out all these hard feelings and frustrations I have in me.

“He is the one that I don’t understand. He always gets mad, complains a lot even by the slightest, small irrelevant things but he won’t even feel upset about somebody out there badmouthing him. What!? Mind my own business?? And here I am, worried for him. Worried that he might feel-- l.. Ughhhhh..!” I submerge my head in the warm, steaming water and letting all the frustrations and anger within me melt away.

I really don’t get how lord Yasumasa and his mind works at all. As I try to recall everything that happened, it felt like for him I was overreacting over something stupid. That I was stupid for reacting like that. The way he responded as if I am some kind of a pest, ughhh..I don’t get him at all. Use my head properly? Really? Ughh, I hate him. Here I was feeling sad for him. Oh, MC, why would you even feel concerned for that jerk? Really? Hah..! 

When I couldn’t hold my breath any longer under the water, I hurriedly come to the surface gasping for air. 

“Ha, hahh, hahh…*coughs” I let my head rest on the wooden wall, closing my eyes, thoughts wandering about the incident again.

To think they figure out lord Yasumasa’s name, or whoever they are, or I mean that old man must have done his research about it. He must have been so angry about how he was beaten up in public that he couldn’t let go of it unless he gets even to him. To think that there are people who would go to such lengths just because they feel wronged...it is scary.

Mulling over while my eyes are still closed and my head still resting on the wall, I hear the sliding wooden door of the public bathroom suddenly being opened. I open my eyes hurriedly and submerged my whole body in the bathtub. I quietly scan the area, and see someone really comes in. My body freezes, anxiousness creeping in. Thankfully, the area is dark and steamy so whoever it is still haven’t noticed me yet. The man removes his hakama, then his whole kimono robe, the fabric smoothly slipping down from the slender yet taut, muscled-body then falling to the floor. Without a sound, he walks in my direction. Even though I don’t look like it, I am panicking in my head. 

Ohh god, what should I do? He is coming nearer and nearer here. No, no...MC just relax, just think. *getting nervous and lightheaded because of too much steam* Think!? What am I supposed to think? Besides there is a man naked in front of me! And he is walking now in my direction, so how am I supposed to think..! And haha *sarcastic laugh* I am fully naked too for heaven’s sake..! 

I am starting to feel dizzy, and the only thing, the only possible solution that my mind comes up with is to just hurriedly run away from this place. No matter how hard I try to think, that is the only way I would be able to escape from this scenario. So I ready myself. I don’t care anymore if I see him naked or he sees me naked, as long as he won’t be able to see my face and discover my identity, I have no choice but to just run without clothes. 

As he gets nearer, I grab the nearest small wooden pail I see without making a sound. The man is about to enter the bathtub, the moment I see his left foot has submerged in the water, I hurriedly stand up smack the man as hard as I can with the small wooden pail. 

”Ughhhh!! What the!???”

I hear the man groaning in pain, hear him falling into the bathtub with a loud painful thud.

I’m sorry...really, really sorry..! I cry inside my head to the man who seems like in deep pain because of how he fell and got his head hit.

 And like a mad person, I hurriedly jump off the bathtub, grabbing my clothes right away and flee from the crime scene.

***

“Ouch..What in the seven hells!! Who was that stupid fool..!?!? Uhhhggh..! My butt and my head..ouch..I will kill whoever that is..! That fool!” groan in pain by lord Yasumasa. Even though the place is dark, you can still see with the moonlight’s help the reddening back of lord Yasumasa. His head hurts like crazy because of the wooden pail that was smacked on him, while half of his body is in pain because of how hard the impact it got from falling hard on the wooden tub. If you are wondering why he is there at that time, well it was just an unfortunate coincidence. He was so exhausted that he was a bit late in taking his usual bath. Unfortunately, that is the usual time MC takes her bath..so..you know now.

“What a crazy guy.! I will surely kill that person! Just you wait..! Ouuucchh.. Aww, damn..my body hurts like hell..” curses lord Yasumasa in the air, alone in the dark.

***

I am panting so hard, like a person who just survived from death. Wet to the bones and naked, I am clasping my white kimono undergarment like my life depends on it. I am so looking weird, like an exhibitionist right now. I hurriedly put my clothes on despite my body still drenching from water. After checking nobody is outside, I hurriedly run to my quarters hoping and praying that no problems will arise tomorrow.

***

Morning, it is.

The weather is nice and as usual we prepared breakfast early and on time. Still cautious about what happened last night, I am on guard even though I am working like nothing happened. Thankfully, it seems like nobody knows who or what happened last night. With stacked trays on my arms, I go to the main hall to serve the newly cooked breakfast for the retainers.

“You looked flushed, you okay?” asks with a happy-go-lucky tone by lord Tadakatsu to lord Yasumasa who is sitting beside him waiting for their breakfast meals to be served.

“I hope there is some hot soup in the menu today.” says lord Yasumasa more like to himself, than to lord Tadakatsu who is beside him looking bit puzzled.

After serving the others including Toramatsu’s food, I go to lord Tadakatsu and lord Yasumasa’s side next. I kneel in front of them and start serving their respective trays.

“Here is your breakfast milor--- achooooo..!”

“Is there a sou---- achooooo..!!”

The sound of my sneezing and for some reason, another sound of somebody’s sneeze too surprised me, lord Tadakatsu, lord Yasumasa as well as the other retainers nearby.

“Wow. Did something happen? Both of you are looking flushed and looks like both of you caught a cold too.” says lord Tadakatsu a bit taken aback by our sneezes. I realized that the other person that sneezed the same time with me is lord Yasumasa.

“Haahaha…*nervous laughing. It must be the weather.” I countered. But at the back of my mind, I don’t want to think but I get the feeling that it was lord Yasumasa that I smacked last night with the wooden pail. The one who entered the public bath. The one I saw naked. The one I almost killed…! Realizing this, I feel like fainting right there on the spot. 

Shoot..!! MC!!! Pray he doesn’t notice or don’t get any idea!!!

“But the weather is nice though..that is weird haha” laughs off lord Tadakatsu as he starts digging his meal. Meanwhile, as I try to catch a glimpse of lord Yasumasa, I accidentally make an eye contact with him. 

Oooopppss..!  This is not good. I can see the reaction in his eyes. There is a sudden brief faint of surprise in his eyes, something that tells me that he must have realized it all and now he is suspicious of me.

Damn. Please, please, please..don’t let him realized it was me. I cry to myself inside, hoping that he still hasn’t caught on about it. 

“I am going now milords...” I say meekly to them and bow. Then I go out from the main hall going straight to the kitchens in a hurried manner but not obvious.

***

“Hey, are you not hungry? I thought you are craving for some soup??” pry lord Tadakatsu to lord Yasumasa who is somewhat murmuring to himself.

“So he’s the stupid fool..” smirk lord Yasumasa, as if he is having fun on his little discovery.

“Hmm?? What are you talking about?” questions lord Tadakatsu.

“Nothing. Nothing...don’t mind me.” responds lord Yasumasa back as he begins his meal by sipping the hot soup from his steaming porcelain bowl.

***

In town. 

With a basket on my arm, I stroll the town aimlessly while my head tries to come up with a good, reasonable and believable excuse if ever lord Yasumasa realized that it was me who almost killed him with a wooden pail last night.

“Ughhh.. What excuse I would say to him... What!?” I murmur to myself. 

As I am walking, oddly, I suddenly heard the name Yasumasa in the street. Curious, I move nearer.

“Even though he is a samurai lord that works under the Tokugawa still don’t you think that it was too much? What he did to an old man like me? He abuses his power no matter how you look at it .” 

“Omy, well..that is true..” nods reluctantly of an old lady from the restaurant, somehow feeling pitiful but hesitant towards the old man. 

“Is that really true though?” counter the manju vendor that has a mini stall next to the restaurant. “..because from what I heard from the other vendors too, you are the one who started picking a fight with some kids…” states the vendor matter-of-factly. 

“And who told you that?” butts in by the man who is with the old man. “That cocky boy and his young servant started it, he beat up an old man here.”

“Still, maybe the guy had a good reason? And we know the young servant who is with him. That young servant of his usually buys manju to me, and some of us know him..He is kind and isn’t the type of person to do such a thing..so I wonder if you are telling the truth..” doubts the manju vendor.

“What are you saying?? Are you accusing us then?” yells the man.

“Ohh my.. Please don’t fight here.” says the old lady from the restaurant, worried.

“Hey, calm down. Let it go buddy..” says the old man--who is playing innocent--  tapping the shoulder of his friend who is yelling at the manju vendor. “Well, if you don’t believe us, if you don’t believe this poor old man me, then I have no choice.” As he walks from the place, he suddenly stops and looks back at the manju vendor who still doubtful about them.  “And ohh.. If I were you, I wouldn’t get too close to them, especially to that lord Yasumasa. He seems to like beautiful young guys.”

“What are you implying or trying to say here?” 

“Ohh nothing. Just saying.. You don’t want to give him a wrong impression, do you?” says the old man with a crafty smile. “You see, I heard he does things with that little servant of his that you are saying you know.”

This time, despite my hard efforts on trying to stay still, hearing those words made me finally lose my patience. And before I know it, I am charging forward to those liars almost ready to smack them with the goods I have in my basket.

“Hey!! You are really being too much!” I strike back feeling really upset.

“And who are-- Ohh, I see.. Are you here to defend your master now?” smirks the old man with meaning. “See how he acts so defensive, I wonder why..hmm?”

Trying to compose myself, I talk back to the old man who pretends to be the victim with civility. “I don’t know why you feel so wronged here even though you are the one who is at fault here. It is true that lord Yasumasa beaten the heck out of you, but because you deserved it. You wouldn’t listen to reason, and you were about to hurt the kids way way smaller than you just because they tripped you or something. I think you already had enough badmouthing him for the whole town to know your lies. So will you stop now?” I say, my insides fuming. 

After letting everything out, I face the restaurant lady and the manju vendor that I frequent to whenever I buy manju, “Please forgive me for causing a scene here. I just want you to know that lord Yasumasa isn’t the type of person this group of men are saying. He may not look friendly outside but in the inside, lord Yasumasa is a good and decent person that does his responsibilities well as a retainer and follower of lord Ieyasu. He won’t do something unless there is a reason behind it. He may have a sharp tongue but he genuinely cares for his duties as a Tokugawa retainer and he admires lord Ieyasu’s leadership. So much as he won’t do something that will put lord Ieyasu’s name into shame, like what those people are claiming.” I gave a glare those bad men, before bowing and saying goodbye to the restaurant lady and the manju vendor.

***

It is almost late afternoon. I walk in an alley--a shortcut to the castle-- with the basket in my left arm filled with new goods and spices that I bought in town, now feeling somehow calm, my anger subsiding already. “I hope they will finally stop now that I--” as I am about to turn, someone grab me from behind, my mouth being clasp by a hand. I try to escape, struggling so hard when another person suddenly pops up in front of me and punch me on the stomach so hard that I lose my consciousness right then and there.

***

Meanwhile in some corner of the alley just a few walks near where MC is being dragged unconsciously, laughter fills the air as children are playing with some rocks and pebbles. 

“It’s my turn!” says the little boy to his fellow little friends as he throws a big flat pebble on the road missing the target objects laid out in the rough road. “Ooops, hahaha sorry. Wait I am going to get my rock.” says the little boy as he goes to the corner of the alley, as he is about to pick his rock, he saw a familiar figure. “Ohh! Is that onii-chan? Onii-chan..!~” he shouts but MC doesn’t seem to hear him, as he takes a closer look, he realized that MC--the one who took them home after being saved from the old drunkard man-- is being dragged by some men. “This is bad…!”

***

In the castle, lord Yasumasa seems to be looking again for his servant Yahiko. “Where the hell did that fool go again?” He strides and scans the corridor and the veranda but to no avail. “Just you wait and see. If you think you could fool me then you are so wrong. I wonder what kind of stupid excuse will you come up with this time..” murmurs lord Yasumasa to himself as he strides in the veranda going to the kitchens. His face looking not irritated or mad but instead, oddly, he is smirking. A mischievous smile forming on his face, it is as if he is enjoying this. Like he found something that will give him entertainment later.

As he arrives in the kitchen, he is about to ask the servants and kitchen ladies there when suddenly a kid running in a hurry bumps into him. 

“Aaagghh..!” 

Lord Yasumasa clearly not happy about it, scolds the boy telling to pay attention to his surroundings. When the boy looks up and realizes that it is lord Yasumasa that he bumped into, total relief shows on the little boy’s face. The boy immediately stands up, he grabs hold lord Yasumasa’s hakama and starts to plead. “Onii-chan..! Thank goodness its you! Yahiko-oniichan was dragged by some bad men out there. One of them is that scary drunkard we met before! I don’t know what happened but it seems like they will do something bad to him!”

“That fool..!” huffs lord Yasumasa under his breath. “Where did you last saw them?” he asks, immediately, following the little boy.

***

It seems that it is evening. As I look from the small window, the sun had long set already. The surroundings outside starting to really get dark. I am here in some kind of abandoned small house in the woods, the whole room only lit by a candle. I am trying to think calmly, trying to figure out how will I save myself from this bunch of old men before they return and discover that I am a girl. Just the thought of it, of what they will do once they discover my real identity sends shivers in my spine. I tried so many times untying myself, but the rope is so tight that I couldn’t do anything about it. I tried looking for a knife or something sharp around me but to no avail. I tried standing up, but they have tied my feet so tightly it is beginning to hurt and my legs feeling numb too. As the seconds pass, I am starting to panic. 

“MC, focus..focus. You need to be strong and smart at a time like this.” I say to myself but to no effect. The ropes on my hands and feet are too tight, I can’t loosened it. Nobody knows that I am here. I don’t have anyone that is close to me that will worry about me to be honest. I can’t think of anyone. But even if let say Umeko notice me not still there preparing dinner with them, she would just probably think that I am out there flirting with some women about my age.. So help from the outside would be impossible. Now, what? Now what, MC??

As I try harder to come up with some escape plan, I hear my abductors opening the door of this small cottage. I don’t know if it is the right thing to do but I pretend to sleep. I can hear them talking, and worse, the air smells sake. And it seems like they are drinking. I can smell the sake lingering in the place. Please, please, don’t let them do anything bad to me. I pray.

“So what we will do now?” asks the man.

“We will teach this boy a lesson. A lesson he will never forget so that he would not be bold enough again. Like what he did to us earlier.”

“So we will what? Beat him up? This thin, woman-like boy?”

“Oh hell..” replies the old man, that drunkard to his accomplice. “You should be a bit creative sometimes..”

“Creative? You mean?”

“Oh come on, just look at this guy’s skin? Almost similar to a woman’s. And guess what? When I dragged him, the smell..!!! Hahaha I have never smell a man so nice, so nice that I want to try and see myself..” the old man cackles, his laugh so menacing my whole body freezes, my heart beating so rapidly against my chest that it almost feels like it is about to burst at any moment. 

Still lying on the cold floor, faking to be asleep, nervousness creeping on me, I say to myself that if ever these men starts to get near to me, I will really, really smack them hard with my head before they do something to me. And I need to do it so hard, so hard enough to get my chance to run right away from them. I brace myself. Readying to use my head. I feel them moving closer to me, the sake smell lingering more, smelling more stronger and nearer. 

“Hey wake up little, pretty boy..~” says the old man in a very lewd way it gives me the chills.

“Hahahaha wake up boy, wake up wake up~” says the other too. 

When I feel their hands almost reaching me, I open my eyes like an alarmed creature in the middle of the night, and smack them so hard using my head that I, too, almost stagger and feel some dizziness and pain. They stumble, both of them, then I take my chance when I find my balance again, I start to run towards the door only to be dragged by the hair by the old man. I lose my balance, and really fall hard to the floor. Suddenly the old man shouts, “grab him by the legs..!”. The other man, tightly hold my legs, my feet, I don’t know any more-- I struggle, struggle so hard that I feel the pain all over my body. 

MC, you need to fight..! Fight..! Don't let them..! Don’t..!!

I shout inside my head, like a mantra, I keep on repeating those words.

But my body will not listen. It does not listen at all. The weight of the two man, ganging up on me, holding me so hard and so tight that I can feel their nails sinking on my sink, on my flesh. It is just too much. I try to fight so hard, so hard… I thought I was shouting but I don’t hear a thing at all. I don’t hear my voice at all. Strangely, my mouth is open, struggling trying to say something but no words come out from it. Just groans of me. Groans of struggling so hard from keeping them from touching me.

But my body starts to lose all the energy it has, my hands and feet getting weaker and weaker. But my mind keep on commanding me, fight..! MC you have to fight!. 

They finally grabbed my kimono collar, the old man in a sudden force tear them apart, almost choking me. The pain stings on my neck. I told myself it is no time for crying but my eyes starts to get a bit teary and my vision starts to blur. But I told my head again, this is not the time for crying. I have to fight them.

I scratch the old man’s face, but he slaps me so hard almost sending all the consciousness in me away. He stops for a second, groaning. But the other man, hold me even tighter, I can’t move at all. Then that old man suddenly is on top of me, undressing me..my head is in a swirl as I try to stop them with all my might.

“Ohh..hahaha” cracks the old man.

“She is a girl..! So she is a girl..! We are lucky..!” says the other. 

Somebody, please help..please…

As they are about to remove my hakama, the man on top of me suddenly is sent flying to the other side. While the other who is just below me, holding my feet and legs, gasps and then yells with a groan, “Aggghhh...!”

I don’t know what is happening but the man seems like his arms are being twisted, so hard I think I heard a crack like something snapped. Then the man yells and cries so hard, “Argggghh..! aghhhh..!!! my arms! my arms..!!!!!” 

“You, who the hell are you!!??? Wait, you are--” then again the old man who was sent flying suddenly lost his voice, somebody punches him in the face so hard that I see blood spilling in the air. “urgkkh..!”

Everything's happening so fast, I don’t know anymore. My body feels so weak, I couldn’t move from the spot. 

“Let us go..! let us go!! I don’t care anymore, you can have the girl, just let us go!!” 

“My arms..! don’t come any closer! It is not my idea! It is his!!” 

I hear shouts, then groans and then, I hear somebody scrambling to their feet, banging the door open and finally they are gone like the wind. Suddenly, the surrounding becomes quiet, so quiet you can hear the sounds and cries of the night insects in the woods. I am left here, almost lifeless. My body feels so cold against the ground. I couldn’t move an inch at all.. 

Then, I see a somehow familiar figure coming into view in front of me. He is looking at me, his eyes and his expression, I can’t figure out at first. But then, there is this brief surprised in his eyes, then a bewildered yet worried expression. I don’t know if it is just my imagination. Then in a very faint voice, almost like a whisper, I hear my little brother’s name. 

“...Yahiko..?” so soft, his voice almost like he is careful of mentioning it. 

It is lord Yasumasa, kneeling now beside me, helping me get to my feet. 

“...you..you are such a trouble..I-- I mean, in a mess..” he says almost like a whisper. His voice seems like he is reprimanding me, but in a gentle tone and manner. Then without a word, he scoops me like a beaten puppy from the floor. I still couldn’t move nor say anything, my mind is blank.  

Then, suddenly, tears comes rushing in. In his arms, like a lost child, I cry and cry. Muffled cries. He is a bit shocked, then I thought he would complain or get annoyed at me behaving like this but he doesn’t speak. He holds me in his arms, quietly and without his usual complaints. He listens to my sobs. He is just there, holding me like I am a dear thing. 

I don’t know why I am crying now. There are these mixed emotions playing inside me right now. I feel so glad that somebody saved me. That those men are now gone. That lord Yasumasa is here. Yet I feel so scared and terrified about what just happened. My body is trembling as I cry. I am so scared. So scared that no matter how much I try to stop myself from sobbing, my tears just won’t stop from falling. 

We are in that position for a little long. Him cradling me like a child. I can’t see his face clearly because my eyes are all blurred by my tears.  My hands, then, find their way on his collar, grabbing and tugging it lightly. For some reason, I feel angry at him. Inside my head, thoughts and emotions are pouring out. Like, thoughts, why am I even getting mad for this jerk’s sake? Why i feel so concerned for this man. Why do I ended up in this kind of situation.  Anger, fear and confusion is welling up on me. I keep on sobbing with anger and then relief that he is here. That someone looked for me, protected me. Because I thought no one would notice that I am actually missing, that no one would come for me. Huge relief and comfort washes over me now that everything is over. No more evil laughter, no more sake lingering around me. Just calmness, quietness, and him.

***

MC has now fallen asleep soundly in Yasumasa’s arms. Her face much better than before. All the fears and sadness and shock, already gone in her.  Her pallor is getting better as the color in her cheeks returns. Her body temperature, still a bit cold, but much better than when he first held her in that state. It is dark, very dark now, the round moon, the only light in the wide evening sky together with the glimmering of the little stars. All the retainers are probably at the main hall right now, in the middle of their dinner. Thankfully no one is in the veranda, Yasumasa carries MC quietly to her quarters. Without so much a sound, he puts MC on her bedding, careful to not wake her up. He realizes now that her collar is ripped and opened too much, the fabric in tatters like it was roughly and forcefully pulled open. Her neck with bit of scratches and redness. He sees the bindings on MC, white strip of fabrics tightly wrapped around her to conceal her identity. Her being a woman. 

He puts the collar back in place, swiftly yet carefully. He stands and get an extra blanket from a cabinet. He put it on top of MC until she is covered comfortably in blankets. The trembling of her body has finally stopped, exchanged with a sense of calmness showing on her whole face. 

Yasumasa sits beside her, arms crossed, staring at her, observing her peaceful breathing. And at the same time, he seems like he is in a deep ponder. He has never been this puzzled before, so unsure of what to do, supposed to feel or say in this kind of situation. 

Outside, you can hear the laughter of some of the retainers from the main hall. Merrily eating and having nice conversations and talks, perhaps. You can hear lord Tadakatsu too being weird again, and Toramatsu trying to stop him from doing something. Everyone is lively tonight as usual.

While inside MC’s quarters, the place is calm and still.

The candle, flickering, giving light and shine to MC’s fair skin and womanly features evident on her face.  Why hadn’t he noticed of it? He foolishly asks himself in his mind. If you take a closer and careful look at her, you can tell that she is a girl. And yet he didn’t notice it at all. And why he--or she is pretending to be a boy? For what reason? does anyone know her secret? Does lord Ieyasu knows this?? or not? Questions floods into his mind like a torrent. 

And why the hell did he--I mean, she got dragged and kidnapped by those worthless trash? How did she got herself into that kind of-- 

Lord Yasumasa just sighs and stops from asking himself such questions..

“You fool. I clearly told you to use your brain properly, but what is this?” complains lord Yasumasa under his breath. 

He sighs again. “Did you tried to be a hero or something again? ..did you boldly speak up...for me? ...you stupid fool. Always poking your nose into something you shouldn’t be concerned to begin with. Now look at--- look at you.. why? I, I really..I really don’t get you at all. You weirdo..” says lord Yasumasa in a somehow light reprimand, sounding a bit irritated but with a tinge of concern and sadness in his voice. 

“Now, what I should do with you...you-- you stupid woman..” whispers lord Yasumasa to himself, as he observes the calm breathing of MC. 

***

____________________________

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