#/too bad he can't do anything because the souls are like nah

[ourtalechara]

... thoughts? (Full idea under cut)

What if someone who knows how to use vocal synths like. Made a vocaloid version of Hamilton. Assign each member of the cast a character that sings for them. It'd probably be a community project if it happened, because that's a big undertaking, but it would also be more fun as a community thing. I don't really know how to use these programs, (I have tried to make Teto say things, and technically I have succeeded in making her say things) BUT I can brainstorm casting ideas with my limited knowledge of fanon Vocaloid personalities!

As indicated by the picture above Hatsune Miku would probably take the role of Hamilton. Her being the most popular Vocaloid makes her a prime candidate for title character. Also I just like the image above with Miku's silhouette on the star with her name.

Idk who Burr would be. Flower maybe? Off the top of my head. Is there someone who it would make sense to oppose Miku in the way that Burr does? An anti-miku? Neru? Nah, I've got better plans for Neru...

You can't spell Laurens without L en. You can spell Philip without it, but that doesn't matter, he's going to be playing that role anyway. It just feels kinda natural for me, as he's pretty young and boyish, which fits Philip, and I feel it fits Laurens too. There's no Len's-relationship-to-Miku-mirrors-Laurens-relationship-to-Hamilton to this or anything, I'm pretty sure that's the case for most of these.

Lafayette is Teto this is a fact. They're both so silly and they like baguettes they're the baguette bois I need this so bad someone give me a Teto cover of guns and ships and I will love you please I feel this in my soul.

Also, I like the idea of Teto in the second act wearing a flashy red coat and debating with Miku in the cabinet. She's perfect for this role.

Mulligan/Madison? Uh. Idk. Again. Flower? Again? Maybe Fukase? I will probably form a stronger opinion on this/borrow someone else's opinion later.

The Schuyler Sisters!

I'd say MEIKO has good strong eldest sister energy fit for Angelica. Also they're both red.

For Eliza, my first instinct is to say Luka, although there's also a voice in my head saying Gumi, and there's also probably someone outside of my head who has another idea that might be better. ?

Rin has big "and Peggy" vibes.

For Washington I want to say KAITO or Guackpo, like, a tall, imposing man. KAITO would be perfect if it weren't for the fact that in most fan works I've seen, KAITO's pretty goofy, and Washington really isn't. I think that that's probably just bias though, he's not always like that. He could make a great Washington. Idk much about Guackpo but it could probably fit. He's a samurai. I don't know if that has anything to do with anything, but maybe it could.

Philip Schuyler as Neru. I initially thought of this as a joke, as Schuyler doesn't speak a word himself, and Neru has no official voicebank (I personally headcanon her as mute), but Neru as his second act counterpart, James Reynolds, could be really interesting? Neru hates Miku so much that she decides to extort her for money and ruin her career? It feels very in character for Neru to do some of this stuff in a way, it just feels right I guess.

So that's. Most of the main characters. Or all of them. Unless I'm forgetting someone. I have no ideas for side characters other than the Neru ideas. I feel like the utau default voice whose name I don't know off the top of my head should be in there somewhere. Maybe. Maybe the one with the big blue thing on her head. The young one. In positive dance time. Idk there's lots of Vocaloids and lots of characters (but there's more Vocaloids) and I need to end this post now goodbye.

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAu Drabble - Shopping

I am back at it again because I had ideas. (don't worry friend @spotaus things are being planned and I got many many ideas :3 but before those happen stuff needs to be established and put in place!)

I was debating between like four different drabble ideas but settled on this one. Something calming for a bit :)

First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble

as always. No editing and no beta.

*-------------------*

Dust shoots Killer another glare as he holds Nightmare clsoer "I mean it Killer. get out of my blindspot. It is getting annoying."

Nightmare looks from Dust to Killer and sees the large grin on Killer's face as he skips after Dust and Nightmare "Nah. I think it is good i am here because it is your blindspot!"

Dust grumbles as he holds Nightmare clsoer. Nightmare just pushes his skull under Dust's chin as he listens to the two bicker. Dust gives him a quick nuzzle before shooting Killer another glare "Why are you even here?" Killer still has a large grin on his face "I am backup!"

Dust groans "I am getting Nightmare clothes."

Killer nods as he follows them "backup!"

Dust huffs before looking back at Nightmare. Nightmare sees the glare disappear from his face as Dust lets out a sigh before smiling at Nightmare "makes you start to wonder who helped who out of getting stuck in a wall."

Killer gasps loudly "That only happened a few times!"

Ngihtmare grins and laughs as he leans fully against Dust again. He likes being held by Dust and Dust must like it too because he always holds him.

Nightmare figured it was because his spine is fragile and walking for too long starts to bother him but Dust still just holds him. always. Maybe he also likes being close like this?

Thoguht Nightmare isn't sure what Dust gets out of it but he must really like something abut the close contact.

They walk past another few people who look at them. Nightmare shoots a glance as Dust and Killer continue to bicker. They seem to shoot Dust and him worried looks but chuckle once they realise that Dust and Killer are just doing their way of bonding.

Nightmare always thought the flirting between those two was weird but then again he thought most things dating was weird. Maybe because he was still a child in his soul...

Not that it matters.

Nightmare shoots a glance and spots Killer grinning widely as his soul is clearly in soulshape and looks stable. Dust may have an annoyed look on his face but he has a tiny smile on his face.

Nightmare hides his face in Dust's sweater but he can't hide the purr. He wants them to be happy. They are happy even with him near.

Dust notices of course nad gives him another nuzzle "comfy? Spine okay?"

Nightmare nods "Yeah."

Dust hums to signal he heard him but still rubs his back.

They finally stop near one of the smaller houses which is the clothing shop for this town.

Dust tilts his skull as Killer snorts "oh that is adorable. ready to dress Nightmare as a tiny old man?" he grins

Dust shoots Killer a glare "It isn't that bad..." then he looks at the store "just... a bit old fashioned..." he looks at him "That okay?"

Nightmare nods before shrugging "I don't get why i need new things..."

Dust sighs. Killer leans on Dust's other shoulder and shoots him a wink "Because you are still wearing Dust's things. and quite honestly. Dusty does not have a large enough wardrobe to dress both of you."

Nightmare frowns as he pushes clsoer to Dust. He doesn't mind wearing stuff them them. It are things that are well worn and soft and smell of them and old laundry detergent.

Dust nuzzles his skull "It will be nice. You can check what you like and what feels nice and is comfortable."

Nightmare frowns "it is expensive." which is another reason why he doesn't want to get anything.

Dust frowns and Killer quickly answers "That is a worry for us. And Dusty said it is fine so it is fine." he grins.

Dust nods "made some money. more than enough to get you some things."

Nightmare wants to disagree more but Dust walks into the store.

The inside isn't like he thought it would be. there is actually quite a number of nice looking things and looks more modern than you would think from the outside.

DUst makes a pleased sound before smiling smugly "Seems like they were just showing off the knitwear because it is autumn." he shoots Killer a look "Almost as if i did my research and knew it would be okay here." and he walks further into the store.

Killer sputters before following them "I know that Dusty! You always do that! I was just joking around!" he pouts but doesn't offer anything. Really just a shadow. It reminds Nightmare a bit about how it was before. Killer beign his right hand and always by his side to help and protect him. It still feels different now and even when thinking back to those memories they feel different.

Killer spots him looking at him and grins before wriggling his phalanges in a tiny wave at him. Nightmare huffs and pushes back closer to Dust.

Dust is looking through some clothes on the hanger "Stop bothering Nightmare." he pulls something off and looks it over critically. he holds it up for him to inspect and Nightmare just shrugs.

Killer pouts as he crosses his arms "Just having fun. And tiny boss is fine with it!" he grins at him "Right nighty?"

Nightmare shrugs. he doens't mind. it is nice.

Dust rolls his eye lights and doesn't look at Killer "Even if he is fine with is safe it for later. first buying clothes. Then you can tire him out."

Nightmare huffs and grumbles. he doesn't need tiring out. he is perfectly fine. Dust holds up another sweater and he shrugs again.

"Oh hello there dears! Can you find it all?"

Killer nad Dust turn and Nightmare feels Dust freeze for a moment. Yeah not a surprise because the woman looks a lot like Toriel. But Nightmare doubts it is the her of this universe. The closer he looks the more this woman seems like a sheep monster.

Killer and Dust must see it too as Killer grins "Pretty much! but we got it!"

Dust shoots him a look "Killer knock it off." he looks at the lady "We are looking for stuff for the little guy."

The lady smiles sweetly "Oh! You two must be two of Sans- I am sorry, Crop's friends!" she looks them over and her gaze lingers on Dust for a moment before settling on Nightmare. Nightmare can't stop the instinct of holding on tighter to Dust. He doesn't like having stranger's gazes on him.

The smiles sweetly "I can see the resemblance! You must be very proud of such a young handsome little boy!"

Dust looks to the side and shrugs but his hold on him tightens. Killer snorts, which is fair as they aren't actually related. Maybe she just sees the resemblance before Nightmare now looks much more like a tiny swap sans, as that was the original form his mother used to craft their bodies. And Dust is the one of the four that still resemblance who he used to be.

At elast Nightmare assumes that is why people think they see a resemblance. That or they are just racists and think all skeletons look alike.

the woman smiles "I am sure there is something fitting for him. Do you need any help?"

Killer's laugh turns cold as he smiles widely "No thanks! We got this!"

Dust rolls his eye lights and nudges him in the side "Stop it." he looks back to the lady "I was wodnering what the... organisation was. I wanted to look at stuff his size..." and he looks at the things he had been looking at with a glare.

The sheep monster looks a bit paler after Killer's interaction but smiles sweetly at Dust. "It is a bit of a mixmatch. Of all the stuff that is handmade it only has a few of each size. you will have to guestimate those. The imported clothes are by the walls, those have more standard sizing."

Dust nods "I see." and he starts walking towards the side first to check the sizing.

Killer grins as he leans close and whispers "Holding a babybones does wonders for making you look approachable"

Dust shoots him a glare and hisses "One word and I will put you in a wall myself." and he stomps over towards the clothes.

Nightmare still doens't understand why Killer thinks that kinda flirting is efficient but what does he know.

Dust is clearly unimpressed with the clothing offered with the more standard design and fabric. but they use it to figure out which size he is before moving towards the handmade stuff.

DUst and Nightmare check what is nice and soft as Killer shadows them. Staying nearby and pretty much glaring at anyone who as much as glances in their direction.

They end up settling for two big sweaters and some sweats. They wait by the cash register as Dust has picked him up again.

The nice woman smiles at them "That will be 140!" she smiles.

Killer winces at the price and Nightmare pushes closer to Dust "I don't need two." wool sweaters are expensive...

Dust shrugs as he looks at Killer "Be usefull and hold him for a moment." and Ngihtamre feels hismelf be handed over to Killer. Dust takes out some cash from his inventory and counts quickly before putting most of the stash he had on the counter "That should be enough." he stashes whatever is left.

The lady counts it and smiles as she puts it away. She packs it in a bag and holds it out to Dust "Thank you for shopping! And Can I just say it is lovely to see such a devoted father."

Dust shrugs and mutters a thanks before shooting Killer a warning look.

Killer grins as he nuzzles Nightmare "How are you this huggable tiny boss?"

Nightmare shrugs but holds unto Killer. Killer is also nice to be held by.

They leave the store together and walk back towards the parking lot. Something about meeting up again to go back to Crop's farm. Nightmare isn't really sure. He is already getting tired again adn he mumbles unhappily.

Killer purrs and coos "It is okay tiny boss. babybones need their sleep and rest after all."

Dust nods "Shopping is always busy." he shoots Killer a glare "Why is why i didn't want you to get him tired or overwhelmed."

Killer groans "Yeah yeah you were right. you are always right. can i go back to nuzzlign the baby now?"

Dust looks considerate before nodding "You may."

Killer grins and the nuzzles resume and Nightmare wants to pout and push him off but it is so nice and he can feel himself start to relax as he starts to purr again.

He likes it when his family holds him.

*-------------------*

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[cthulhusstepmom]

It's dark in the cellar, has been since they were tossed down here however many days ago. Hard to tell time without regular meals. Completely windowless, there's no place to spend his usual half hour basking under the sun. It had been a matter of hours before his coldblooded body had started to slow in the cool subterranean temperatures. He'd tried to keep it to himself, deal with it quietly, but there's no way to hide it from Gid, steadfast loyal Gid. Kremy had found his sluggish form gathered unceremoniously close to the living furnace that is his right hand man.

The heat may have stabilized his body temperature but it would do nothing to improve his mood(well maybe just a little bit it's hard to be too miserable when you're so nice and warm no matter the dire circumstances). Gideon took care of light well enough too, illuminating a circle around them with dancing warm firelight, though that was extinguished as soon as Kremy saw it start to waver and flicker, can't allow his partner in crime to burn himself out now can he? And so they sit in an almost peaceful silence, have done for who knows how long.

"Y'know it's not the worst bind we've gotten ourselves into. The gang will be along soon enough to bust down the door." Gid pauses in thought. "Probably not Twigsy. Or Frosty. Or Gricko unless he's a beasty. Probably down to Torbek to do the door busting come to think of it."

Kremy grunts noncommittally.

"Ah don't be like that, can't be worse than the time we had to climb out of the window of that inn."

"The snake oil heist on the western bank?"

"Nah the one with the innkeepers daughter, Felicity? Franny?"

He remembers that particular scrap well, if only because of the god awful wig.

"Felicia. How that veil covered my snout I will never rightly know."

Gideon snorts.

"Oh yeah. Sure would've been nice to know Gricko was an ordained minister before hand but it's not the first time we've been married."

Kremy hums. "Can't say it's the worst contract I've signed."

The warm body next to him rolls with deep, hearty laughter. The room goes silent for another spell before Kremy sighs.

"I dunno Gid, you ever get the feeling that we've taken it too far? Finally poked the bear that's gonna rip our throats out?"

"Nah man, I know you'll get us out of anything 'fore it gets too serious. Even if we end up knee deep in Fae tomfoolery. And I'll punch any bear that tries to bite us square in the body till it dies, no problemo." He pauses. "I trust you Kremy Lecroux."

That knocks the speech right off of his tongue.

Trust.

On a conceptual level he got that there was some form of reliance between the two of them, and sure some trust if you had to put a non-ironic label on it. He knows that Gideon cares for him, has stated it on many occasions in many different ways. And if you had to be so crass as to put it into words, of course he cares for Gid too, wouldn't have bothered keeping him around this long if he hadn't(lord knows the food bill would be enough to sway his opinion if he wasn't entirely too attached by now).

But trust?

Trusting Kremy Lecroux is a bad idea on any number of levels. He's a cheat by profession and a liar by lifestyle. Hell he's sold the souls of those around him in exchange for power more than once. There's nothing worth trusting in him, he's a coldblooded criminal and he's never gonna change, not for anybody. And here Gid is announcing it with his full chest. It's one of those things that's so endearing about him, he never holds back; Gideon Coal has never made a promise he doesn't fully mean. But since he's a man of contracts and business dealings he at least wants to give him a fair shot, a head start, a warning to keep that fiery heart close.

"You sure about that Gid? Those kinds of words have a power to em you know that."

"100% man, I'll follow you to the end of the world."

Kremy struggles to get air into his lungs, it takes a minute, two. When he finally gets enough to speak, it's frustrated and tinged with melancholy.

"Well I'll gladly let you do just that, if we ever get out of this fucking place."

"Hey." Kremy offers no response. "C'mon man don't be that way, the crew are all out there figuring their way in as we speak, fact I can smell the Torbek already."

He says nothing.

"I know what'll cheer you up."

A large, warm hand cups the bottom of his snout, gently directing his face up and to the side. Before he can think to protest, his eyes are drawn to the sudden lick of flame dancing on the tip of Gideon's finger. Not unlike when he lights cigarettes for him, except now he's pressing the pad of the digit to a small twig from the rocky floor until it smolders dully. Blowing on it, Gideon brings the small stick towards his face. It's warm but not uncomfortably so (he'd never had a doubt in his mind that Gid would hurt him). Carefully, precisely, with hands steady from working on the delicate innards of machines he can't begin to comprehend, Gideon draws the ashen tip of the stick across his upper lip in two swooping lines.

"There you already look more like yourself!" He proclaims proudly.

And god if he can't help the smile that breaks across his face.

"You're a crazy son of a bitch Gideon Coal, you know that?"

"Been told once or twice." he chuckles.

[hadeslegacyhephgirl]

It was 6 in the morning when Nico received the phone call from Lou Ellen.  

"Whaaaat" 

"It's Will, Nico. He's in a coma" 

The words crashed into him like a tsunami. Fear and worry made a home in his chest 

"Where are you?"  "Hospital"  "… what?"  "Ambulance go there before I could call anyone. And our chariot crashed bad, it's basically disintegrated" 

"I'm going to wake Jason and Kayla and meet you there"  "Can you get Annabeth and Cecil, too?"  "Why?"  "Annabeth 'cause I'm gonna need brains here. Cecil because- just- because"  "Fine. Where?"  "Carra Hospital, Room 304, I'll send you a picture"  "I'll be there in 10"  He hung up  

Waking everyone up was… mixed.  

All Jason and Kayla had to hear was 'Will' and they got up immediately. 

Cecil only came when he heard Lou was there. 

Annabeth insisted they take along Piper and Percy. 

So it was a party of seven that turned up in room 304. 

Cecil wrapped Lou in a hug from behind as Lou talked to Annabeth, who was holding Percy's hand. Kayla and Piper went to see if they could charmspeak a nurse to bring another IV for the nectar Kayla had brought, and Jason went along just in case there were monsters. 

Leaving Nico standing by Wills bed, staring at his wounds. 

He counted each and every nick and scratch on Will's face and arms (37) and took in the propped up, bandaged leg. 

Suddenly he couldn’t bear to be so far away from Will.   He climbed into the bed and tucked himself between Will's side and arm, nesting his head on Wills chest, closed his eyes and let the tears come 

~*~ (Will) 

It was dark 

He felt around 

There was a fuzzy silence  

He couldn't remember anything 

Except that he was a boy 

Chink 

He looked up. Something, a piece of light hung in the air. He touched it. 

"Boy"  "7 boys, two girls"  "Hey, boy-o" 

Oh. 

These were memories. 

So he had to piece himself back together. 

He could do that. 

He will do that. 

Chink 

Another shard of light, right next to the first. 

"Will"  "Hi, Will"  "Will?"  "William!" 

His name was Will 

There was solace in knowing his own name 

Chink 

This time, only one voice rang out 

"Solace"  The voice sounded annoyed, slightly raspy with a slight Italian accent.  

This time it was accompanied by a picture. 

Two dark brown eyes, so big and beautiful, yet so dark and knowing they looked like they were staring into your soul. 

The image hung in the air, away from the other chinks of light. Like the beginning of a picture. One he would figure out. 

~*~ (Nico)     

"Should we wake him up?"  "Nah, leave him. You know he can't live without his Will"  "What if he never wakes up, though?"  "He will. He has to. Besides, Nico wouldn't let him die"  "But-"  "No buts. We'll contact Hades, Hypnos, Apollo, anyone that can help. We're not losing him" 

Nico drifted in and out of sleep, not wanting to confront the waking world, but scared of the nightmares that threatened to take him. 

Finally he opened his eyes to find Jason sitting in the visitor chair. 

"Hey, Neeks."  "What time is it?"  "A little past-"  He checked his watch 

"- one in the afternoon. Listen, we're gonna get Will outta here."  "how?"  "Piper'll be here in a few minutes with the van, Kayla and Annabeth. She's gonna charmspeak him out." 

Nico looked down at Will and grabbed his hand.  "We're getting you out of here, Will. So don’t you dare go dying on me."    ~*~ 

My name is Will Solace  I am 17 years old  I am one of Apollo's children  My home is Camp Half-Blood  I'm a doctor, medic, head councilor 

I have siblings, family, friends.  And I will get out of here. 

~*~ 

"Careful!"  "We are being careful!"  "… sorry" 

They loaded Will into the back of the van 

Piper had, quite literally, worked like a charm. Within ten minutes they had Will on a transportable gurney and out the hospital. 

It was a silent drive back to camp 

~*~    He'd done it. 

The door was nearly complete. A door of light, of memory. The chinks of light had formed the rectangular shape as he'd gathered more and more information. 

All that was missing was a doornob. 

The picture was done too. 

A picture of a boy with raven black hair framing milky white skin and big brown, almost black eyes. Dressed in a leather jacket with ripped black jeans and a black shirt that read Camp Half-Blood 

But it felt wrong. 

Like there was something missing. 

The boy's name. 

He began looking though the memories of the door, each piece a word with memories attached to it. 

Then he remembered. 

There was one that only had one memory attached 

Maybe it was longer? 

Hesitantly he touched it. 

"Solace" 

Silence. He waited  "Fine." The Italians voice again. 

"There we go. See, it wasn't so hard, was it?" His own voice now.  "But just three days, you hear me?"  "Sure, unless I need to keep you longer"  "Solace, I swear-"  "C'mon, Neeks."  "Do not call me that"  "Alright Death Breath-"  "Or that"  "Zombie Lord?"  "Absolutely not. It's Nico, full stop"  "Alright, Sunshine"  "… that's okay too, I guess" 

Ding 

The picture of the boy - Nico - suddenly seemed vibrant, alive. 

And the door had a doornob. 

Hesitantly he reached for it. 

Back home. 

Back to Nico 

If there was any chance the son of Hades could love him back. 

~*~ 

It had been a week since Will had gone under the coma. 

Five days since he'd been moved to the infirmary 

Jason had given up on trying to get Nico to leave Wills bedside, except to shower every so often. 

So it was just Will and Nico and silence. 

Silence that was broken with a raspy voice coming from the bed 

"Nico?" 

Nico looked up into Wills brilliant blue eyes that were open and he was awake. 

A sob wrenched from his throat and he flung himself into Wills arms. 

"Hey, Sunshine. How long has it been?" 

Nico sniffed and buried his head into Wills shoulder. 

"A week"  "oh."  Nico sniffed again and looked up into very much open celeste blue eyes  "But your back now, right?"  "Yeah, Sunshine. I'm right here. And I always will be." 

~*~ 

[jakes3resin]

THE HALLUCINATION!BUCKY AU.... ive been thinking thoughts dude

do you think that the other boys would let that shit slide and lie to buck or nah? especially if they saw how bucky dealt with his disappearance, would they give him that clutch or nah

would the hallucination ever change? like degenerate or grow weaker?

does the presence of the hallucination help buck come to terms with his feelings towards bucky or nah

Personally, I think Croz and Rosie laid down a very strict 'Do not say Major Egan is dead to Major Cleven or we will find you' rule on base because they saw how bad Buck was feeling. Croz was just too soft asking after Bucky. Rosie looked like he was two seconds away from hugging Buck and letting him cry.

Buck also is very good at pulling on a mask to hide his emotions. You only see them if you've known him for a long time and learn the signs or if you're Bucky tbh. Most of the boys at Thorpe Abbotts only know the stories of Buck and Bucky not the men, so his mask fools them. The last of the OGs he can't fool like Harry, Jack, Douglass, and Blakely, and I do think when they notice him turning to his side with a smile they know he only showed Bucky or muttering something under his breath to no one, they don't say anything. They've all lost someone, and if this is how Buck needs to cope, they just try to keep him stable. They simply try to be there for him how they can. The new guys don't see a thing because Buck is good at hiding.

I don't see the hallucinations degenerating even years down the line (if Bucky actually dies). I think they'd grow actually because the more time that passes, the more Buck clutches to what little he has left. I do think occasionally the Bucky he sees degenerates as in he sees the Bucky that walked into Stalag Luft III covered in blood or on a really bad day he sees a Bucky with a bullet hole in his head (on his head? I'm tired I can't remember which is grammatically correct).

Hallucination Bucky would definitely help Buck come to terms with his feelings for Bucky if he hasn't already. In my AUs most of the time the pair of them are already together, so Hallucination Bucky is just a sign, a heartbreaking soul destroying sign, that Buck loves his John so much he can't let go.

I love talking about Hallucination!Bucky and your ask was amazing!!!

[mysticstarlightduck]

Food Questionnaire Tag!

I was tagged by @thelovelymachinery (here) and I believe that I was also tagged by @the-golden-comet a while back but I'm so swamped with tags that I cannot find it 🥲

Rules: Answer the food-related questions provided using the voices of your OCs. The yummier the descriptions, the better!

I'll go with Dylan Millihan, Liam Steele, and Christine Nespor from What Lurks In The Hollow for this one <3

what is one comfort meal that'll change your whole mood for the day?

Dylan: Eh. It takes a lot to change my mood for the better after a bad day if I can be brutally honest. I guess some pizza is always nice - might not change my whole mood for the better but it's my favorite food so, whatever. I'd take it over anything else.

Liam: Why do you ask? (he grumbles, eyes narrowed, before begrudgingly answering) Okay, fine. I like shepherd's pie, with as much cheese as possible. Uncle Nick is a pretty good cook, all things considered, and he makes some pretty good pies. I also love the cookies, especially the chocolate chip ones me and Savvy buy in the arcade, they're crunchy.

Christine: Oh! Oh, that's a good one! I love Mac & Cheese, but not the icky takeout ones that are always chewy like gum, or the store-bought ones that taste like plastic. I'm talkin' about the homemade ones! With that sweet, melty cheese goodness with some bacon sprinkled on top. That's the one. I also love me a good coffee - can't start the day without one, but don't come to me with that iced coffee BS, I like mine pipin' hot. Like so hot it feels like it was sourced straight from the earth's core or the depths of hell's fiery abyss. Yeah. Am I weird? (laughs)

what is an experience (good or bad) that has turned you off or on to a food completely?

Dylan: Y'know, I used to love those honeycomb toffee candies, the crispy ones and all. But then during a festival, Mrs. Draycott came up to me and was like (imitates the annoying 50-year-old 'female cougar' voice) "Oh my. Sweetheart, you're looking as SCRUMPTIOUS as a honeycomb fresh from the oven, aren't you?"

And I. wanted. to. die. Like not really but (mock gags in disgust) c'mon! What kind of fucked up, 'Karen' pick-up line is that? And, better yet, who even has the time to come up with shit like that? (sighs, wearily pinching the bridge of his nose) I might need a restraining order at this point, it's giving horror movie vibes. I can't have honeycombs anymore, thanks, Mrs. Draycott. Yay.

Liam: Okay, so when I was like 7 or something, my Uncle was having this garden party with his friends, I think, and they were having sushi. Thing is, 7-year-old me didn't know what sushi was, and me being a dumb little shit thought, wholeheartedly, it was candy. Like bonbons. For some odd reason! Cue me, who had been running around the yard all day, swooping into the patio table, picking one of the sushis, running off, and eating it whole before anyone could explain otherwise. I was expecting coconut candy covered in chocolate, or something sweet. What I got... was raw fish and rice. Long story short I ended up throwing up in the garden and I could never have sushi again after that. I tried once! I swear I tried! And it's okay that people like it. But even now the texture just feels...too slimy and it gives me the ick. Nuh-uh.

Christine: I think the time I ate a hot dog at an admittedly very shady establishment - looking back with hindsight - on the side of the road one time while traveling and got salmonella. Yeah, that hotdog was not a good idea on my part (chuckles). Spent the following week almost getting my soul exorcised from my body in the bathroom, in a metaphoric sense, if ya know what I mean. Now I can't even think about eating a hot dog again. It's a nah for me, bro.

if you could eliminate one piece of produce, meat, dairy or sweets off the earth what would it be?

(I'm not sure about this one but I think all three of them would answer onions, garlic, or stinky foods because those are disgusting and should be banned from the menu lmao)

and dessert is normally saved for last, but if you could what would you order for your entree at a restaurant?

Dylan: I guess, uh. I don't know, vanilla ice cream? I know you're gonna call me 'basic' for that, but I don't care. Vanilla is the best ice cream flavor out there and this is the hill I'll die on.

Liam: Hm. The chocolate chip cookies from the arcade. Gosh, those are just amazing. I could eat a whole packet! Or two, even!

Christine: Churros! The cinnamon and sugar ones with coffee sweet cream filling. That's heaven right there for me, yeah.

what are some food fusions that should never be mixed?

Dylan: Don't you ever mix savory, fried, spicy potato chips with marshmallows or melted ice cream or... god forbid, chocolate! That should be a sin or at least some sort of infraction because holy fuck.

Liam: If I see anyone else putting freaking pineapple or worse, watermelon on pizza I swear I will have a nervous breakdown and turn into a slasher movie villain. Not quite really, but keep FRUITS AWAY FROM MY PIZZA!

Christine: I'm probably gonna get hated on for this one. But avocados on a salty toast with eggs and pepper are a hate crime against humanity and I can't stand people who think that's a reasonable breakfast.

what food spot are you gatekeeping and why?

Dylan: My dude. I'm broke. I barely go out to eat in restaurants. I mostly eat at home or order cheap takeout pizza or something. And even if I wasn't broke, I just don't like eating around people whom I don't know in general, and I don't feel much at ease at restaurants unless I am in a really good mood.

Liam: I like 'Nana's Witchy Speakeasy'. The name might be odd or off-putting but it's just a nice little diner owned by this kooky old lady named Betty, who's one of the funniest people I know to be honest. Me and my friends love going there for a snack at the end of the day, the place's great.

Christine: Not sure, but there's this one milkshake place that sells the most wonderful chocolate frappes on earth. It's a bit far from my place but gosh it's so worth it.

cooking is a life skill, why haven't you started learning yet!?

Dylan:...Why haven't I learned it? I already have. I know how to cook. And quite well at that, though not perfectly - I'm my sister's legal guardian, do you think I would be able to manage having a moody teenager in my house all the time if I didn't know how to cook? No. I just don't usually have the time and patience for it, so I end up ordering takeout, but I always make us homemade breakfast.

Liam: 'Cause the last time I tried it I almost ended up setting the kitchen on fire, carbonized one of our best skillets, and was banned from the kitchen for a year (laughs). And cause I don't have the patience to learn, and already have other people in my life who cook really well.

Christine: Hey!!!! I know how to cook. Really, really well at that. I hate industrialized food and don't really crave fast food, but I love myself some good homemade food. I cook for myself every day, it's almost like a meditation for me - it makes me happy and calm, and at the end I get to eat something delicious. It's great!

Is there a smell that reminds you of something you never want to remember?

Dylan: Not really, I'm not easily shaken by smells unless it's something really, really freaking strong or pungent, or if its those perfumes that give me a headache cause I'm allergic.

Liam: My friends and I were exploring the woods to try and find out why the place's cursed and what happened to the ghosts trapped inside, but then we stumbled across some...remains? I guess it was the remains of someone who was killed and eaten by the Mayor's ghouls, and the smell of rotten flesh felt like it was stuck to my nostrils for a week. I hated that. I so hated that.

Christine: I'm not sure. I guess not emotionally, but I do hate the smell of salads and especially vinegar-based salad dressings. It makes me wanna puke - and the thing is it's not for any particular reason. It's not a trauma or anything. I just hate the smell, it's foul.

Tagging (gently): @sleepy-night-child, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @smol-feralgremlin, @wyked-ao3, @topazadine @littleladymab,

@winterandwords, @eccaiia, @sarahlizziewrites, @illarian-rambling

@agirlandherquill, @anoelleart, @ray-writes-n-shit

@writernopal, @anyablackwood, @unstablewifiaccess, @forthesanityofstorytellers

@i-can-even-burn-salad, @thecomfywriter

@thepeculiarbird, @clairelsonao3, @memento-morri-writes, @starlit-hopes-and-dreams @amaiguri

@cherrychiplip @thecomfywriter

@differentnighttale, @leahnardo-da-veggie

[theyluvlyss]

/ᐠ-˕-マ~ the heart !

𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨...

...and welcome to my heart ! here, you can see all of the fandoms I'm in and am currently making/posting content for, as well as links leading to the masterlists for each fandom. to learn more on the topic of myself, you can always check out the about me page. or, for general information, you can always check out the intro page. questions? your best bet is the faq's page.

I have a few of big/well-known ones (fandoms), but I think most of the stuff I write for is pretty niche, to be honest (and if not niche, just doesn't really have any fanfic/content on this app💀 but I'm happy to be the first or one of the few/ᐠ^˕^マ). also, the list is in alphabetical order for easy finds :).

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. ��� ──────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐫: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫

binging this show every three months has been and is the only consistent thing in my life. is that depressing?? nahhh/ᐠ-⩊-マ~°.*•...

──────────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝

I love this movie because a) "awkward/odd black girl that literally everyone loves/has chemistry with" rep🫶🏽 (I could go so deep in on this-) and b) james harris has my heart😻.

──────────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐝𝐜

I have so many thoughts on all of the batboys all of the time. and the teen titans. and the kent boys. and-

──────────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 (𝟏-𝟑)

they dyed cameron's hair black and white and told booboo stewart to put on a leather jacket/vest with no sleeves and just k n e w the girlies would lose their shit. like, lives changed fr.

──────────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥

I need to branch out to other animes still, but I just- *sobs in emotional attachment to this one, and I don't want a new one/ᐠ~˕~マ*

──────────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫

you thought I was here for henry, huh? lol nah, jasper is where I'm at (jk I love henry, too). also, I find nickelodeon literally insane for having captain man's big, hairy chest, trail, and pits out on/during this show while I was coming up, like ??? like gee thanks now I have a type😒😻...

──────────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐤𝐢𝐜𝐤-𝐚𝐬𝐬 (𝟏-𝟐)

no because telling my mom, "I love superheros so much😻✨️" and then her sitting me down to make me watch this movie, out of all superhero movies ever, was a canon event. she couldn't just put on man of steel or something? I was literally, like, twelve years old, dude💀.

──────────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐥 𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 (𝐦𝐜𝐮)

my dad took me to see the incredible hulk in 2008, and it was a wrap💀.

──────────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐞 𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 (𝟏-𝟑)

I saw gally's angry ass and fell in love, I'm sorry, I have an attraction to people who'd probably dislike me (speaking of dislike, fuck teresa, like genuinely. and don't fight me on this, we hate teresa on this blog, argue with the wall).

──────────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐞

angel toress. that's all ♡.

──────────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐦! (𝟏-𝟐)

I love these movies with my entire soul, like, it's not even funny, and I wish I was normal (and not completely obsessive) about 'em, but nope, I just can't be, I-...

──────────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

mike is such an asshole, I hate him. and yet... *heart implodes*. also yeah, obviously and of course, eddie munson. I'm not a steve girly. like, at all. but I'm not gonna turn down requests for him because I don't hate him or anything, lol.

──────────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐫 (𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟖/𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞)

I still, after like... a decade, can't believe that speed's mom gave birth to her beautiful little boy, looked him in his eyes, and was like, "...I'm gonna name you speed🥰." as if it wasn't already bad enough that his last name is racer😃. I'd be heated everyday of my life.

──────────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞

if any of y'all little sickos ever ask me to do the grabber just because he's played by ethan hawke, I will block you. deadass.

──────────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬

am I the only one that kinda doesn't like tilda? like, idk, her character was a little disappointing, I thought she'd be way chiller😔.

──────────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬

magik could've been so cool if they didn't literally make her racist😃. she doesn't even act that way in the comics (I don't think-) so what the hell was up with that😭? also, sam has my heart🥰.

──────────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝

I'm telling you right now, I only write for carl. I have trouble writing relationships with grown people, but I swear, I'm working on it/practicing🙏🏽😭.

──────────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐭𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚 (𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐬)

proud heather hater. no, she's not iconic. no, she's not a queen or savage. she's just an annoying bitch with a complex. argue with your momma🥴.

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐬𝐚'𝐬 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬

──────────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐨𝐜'𝐬

unnamed rainbow oc 🏳️‍🌈 (edit/first content)

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐮𝐩𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 :

the hunger gamesㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤonce upon a timeㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤspider-verseㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤkarate kid (1-3)/cobra kai

《 ♡ 》 𝐮𝐩𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 :

none :(

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

《 ♡ 》 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 :

the list - (pretty much just a full list of all of my dr's lol)

dr's edit - (and edit I made for my tiktok lol)

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬 : [active] [hiatus] [offline]

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 : [open] [closed]

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐩...

...that's everything. be sure to browse through and find something you like and look out for upcoming fandoms I will add to the list and/events ! maybe if I had gotten the idea to do this sooner, I could've participated in goretober, kinktober, and flufftober, but oh well. maybe next year :).

anyways,,,,,

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ/ᐠ-˕-マ~ 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 !

[anfie-in-the-box]

Dreamtale_Not_Found & Aftermare Week

Notes

This last piece was very difficult to write, it's even shorter than the others. Why? Well, because it kinda contains major spoilers but also cropped to be less spoiler-ish. Cropping it was the difficult part. Now I'm not sure if I managed to keep the right atmosphere, heavy and hopeless.

。。。

The end of a beginning

As the realisation settles in, Nightmare looks at the Tree with a pained, horrified expression. He needs to talk to Geno. And Dream, but his little brother is in the village now, so Geno first it is. It can't wait. Things are only getting worse the longer he stays.

Who knew he lived on borrowed time.

Nightmare is frightened, bitter, and suddenly so very tired. At least he falls asleep easily. His consciousness slips away into brief nothingness, then appears in Aftertale. Always close to Geno — the anchor, the centre. The love of his life.

"Hello, Geno." Nightmare greets quietly.

"heya, kid."

Nightmare doesn't correct him like he usually does. Geno only calls him that when distressed. It seems Nightmare isn't the only one having a bad, very bad day.

"How's… the Surface?" he asks awkwardly. He can feel how wrought up Geno is, how tense yet determined. It scares Nightmare more than his own fate.

"i'm not sure," and although Geno always says the same thing, this time feels different. More desperate, more insecure. So vulnerable. Too close to falling apart. At least he can't fall down, not with determination in his soul.

Nightmare smiles sadly and sits on the edge of the bed. He wants to comfort Geno, hug him or take his hand, but here, he is intangible and therefore helpless.

They are both foreign in their own worlds. It's a miracle Geno's alive and free, and Nightmare doesn't know what would happen to him, but nothing good for sure.

It hurts Nightmare terribly to see Geno hurting. "Can I do anything for you?" he asks. Geno smiles weakly and murmurs, "just sit with me for a while. when you're close, everything's a little bit better."

"Close yet worlds apart… Wish I could touch you," Nightmare sighs. "But your freedom is more important. Don't you ever think that I want you trapped in that stars forsaken screen."

"i know you wouldn't. you're too kind to wish that even for your enemies." Geno reassures, quietly. He then closes his good socket, hiding his face behind his palms.

"I suppose I am," Nightmare agrees.

The silence falls. Then Geno says, "i'm gonna do something really stupid tonight, y'know?"

"Yeah. So am I. Do you want to talk about it?"

"nah. do you?"

"Not really. Just… Remember that I love you."

"i love you too. so much."

They don't make any promises, don't say anything anymore at all, even though they don't know their choices today will lead to the end of their beginning.

。。。

Credits

Undertale © Toby Fox

Nightmare!Sans © jokublog

Aftertale © loverofpiggies

Aftermare Week © @bluepallilworld

。。。

Notes

I'd appreciate your opinion on whether I did this piece justice. Also theories about what's going on, what made Nightmare so distressed, that kind of thing.

Thanks for reading, and take care 🌻

[soaps-mohawk]

I know I’ve sent you something before but i genuinely can not get your fic out of my mind and now need to say something else. It irks my soul (in a good way I promise😭) that the reader won’t just tell them what she needs. But it’s also so understandable bc why would she? No matter if they’re her pack or not she doesn’t fully trust them.

But also seeing the vision fo her finally asking for what she wants. Seeing her finally kneel (in a non-sexual way) is going to be something that I will eat up immediately. Like everytime it’s mentioned I cross my fingers for it to be in the chapter.

Also (I’m so sorry for the ramble) Ghost finally warming up to her???? The absolute best part, like okay go girl you get that man. I think the only thing that made me want to strangle them was the fact that Price didn’t even tell her anything.

Like i would be so mad😭 even if it wasn’t meant that way like her feet are hurting horribly (the blisters show that) she was obviously tired and didn’t know what was happening and was being used as bait? Bro I hope Soap and Gaz told Price about the blisters and he felt bad bc wtf😭

so if you can’t tell i love your story. HAVE A GOOD DAY🫶🏻🫶🏻

Aah don't ever apologize for rambling 🥺 I love it when people have thoughts about my writing 🫶 (no but I've literally gotten inspiration from people's rambles before so...don't ever feel bad for doing it)

Ugh reader and her issue with feeling like she shouldn't want things hits me so hard like...part of me just wants to scream at her to ask but also part of me gets it 😭 (ik I'm the writer but sometimes these things have a mind of their own). But I get it, I wouldn't fully trust them either. Not after just a week.

Yaass Ghost is finally starting to see the light...kind of. He's a tough nut to crack and it's gonna take a lot more work but he can't deny those instincts 🤭

Nah I'd be so mad too lol. I originally had an idea for a scene where Price decides to use the reader for hostage retrieval training, but he doesn't tell her it's training because he wants it to be as real as possible just to see how badly it would effect their ability to save her if it ever came to that. It felt a bit too mean and out of character for Price in this fic though. Cause that would stress reader out so badly and that could be dangerous. I don't think he'd risk that.

Aah thank you so much. Always feel free to come in here and ramble with your thoughts. I will read them and eat them up like a delicious meal 💚 y'all are feeding me with this kindness and support for this story fr

[tia-amorosa]

Sunset Died - Bachelor/Clavell/Wan

Hard shell, soft core (Part 1)

It's the next morning. After having breakfast together, Xander made his way to Morgana's. Thornton opened the door for him “Oh, good morning”/ “hi, um, I wanted to see your wife”/ “uh?”/ “Don't worry, I don't want anything from her, but she seems to want something from me”.

Morgana was in the kitchen when she heard Xander's voice. After her work was done, she came back into the living room. “Good morning, you've probably come for the blood Test, haven't you?"/ “Well, there's no question of wanting to"/ ”Hnhn. We can go straight over there."/ ‘Can't we do it here?…’/ ”Unfortunately not, I don't have the materials here. Come on, it can be done very quickly"/ ‘mmh, I don't like needles very much.’.

“Yes, very few people like these things"/ ”And you think it really has to be? I've always been healthy."/ ”Don't be so scared, okay? We'll do it once and then you'll have peace and quiet for a while*"/ ‘And then you'll probably find something bad, plague, cholera…’/ ”hahaha, stop it now, okay? Just come along, the quicker you'll have it behind you”…

Even as a child, Xander was always afraid of syringes. On the outside he always acts the strong man, but on the inside he is a sensitive soul. And that was sometimes hard to hide… “Unbelievable, it's already snowing like crazy and winter has only just begun."/ ”Yes, it's pretty heavy. But at least nobody has to freeze at home anymore”.

A little later. After they arrived at the hospital, Xander was told to sit down in the small back room while Morgana gathered everything she needed. Then she went to him. He had already rolled up the sleeve of his sweater. “Uh-oh man…"/ ”Just don't look, okay? Tell me something, how's Pauline?”

„Pauline? Good… The kids too. I… I think I've done a good job so far… Haven't I?"/ ”You really have, Xander. You've done a lot for others in the last few months"/ ‘yeah, now you could do something for me, huh?’/ ‘And what?’/ ‘phh, I don't know, maybe… bring a cold bottle of beer’/ ‘hnhn, I'm afraid I can't help you with that’.

“See, it's ready”. Xander was a little surprised at himself. The brief conversation with Morgana had helped him not to focus on the awkward needle. Afterwards, she took care of the small puncture and he was able to stand up again. “So you've already unpacked the box?"/ ”Which one… Oh, you mean the big one that was just outside the door? Yes… Did you bring it?"/ ‘After I knocked my boss to the ground and confronted him, yes’/ ‘You hit him?’/ ”He didn't even have a scratch… But he deserved it”

“Well… That's true, yes"/ ‘Was anything broken from the things in the box?’/ ‘No, why?’/ ”I bumped him while he was holding the thing in his hands. It fell down…"/ ‘I see, no, everything's fine with the little devices, luckily…’/ ”Devices… Yes, Pauline mentioned something briefly. At least he was kind to you once”.

“I honestly didn't expect him to surprise us with equipment like this. But it helps me a lot with my work"/ ‘So… Are you going to do an analysis of my blood and stuff?’/ ‘Mhm, … If there's anything conspicuous, I'll let you know’/ ‘OK, anything else?’/ ‘Well, I could still check you from head to toe…’/ ‘Nah, everything's OK with me’. Morgana had to smile a little as he said goodbye and left the Hospital quickly.

It was uncomfortable for Xander in this small room. But he was also a little proud of himself. “She's a great doctor, I hardly noticed anything. it was… still kind of strange. why… is it because of my parents? They weren't the healthiest either at the end. Oh man, I hope she doesn't find anything. Shit, it's really cold”. With quick steps, Xander made his way back home.

. After Xander had left, Morgana took his blood sample to the other room in the back, where the large X-ray machine was located. This is where she had set up the machine for the blood tests. “Putting this thing together was a bit tricky, but I managed it. “. After she had put his blood sample into the machine, a soft buzzing sound was heard.

“Now we just have to wait and see. I already have a DNA profile of the little one. I'll just have to compare it with Xander's later. I'm hoping for a good result. But… if it turns out differently than I'd hoped… I'd rather not think about it. The two are only just getting closer again”

------------------------------------------------------------------------

End of this Part

@greenplumbboblover😊

Pose by @siciliaforever

[liliallowed]

I hope sans doesn't hate us now hey hey Crimson you know sans well right do you think he hates us?????? :(

angst below

"don't worry darling he won't blame you as long as I'm around. in fact I can make it so he'll like you more by training you to fight me. he'll be so happy to see you eventually take me down"

"wh-what?"

"you know. like how cats bring dead birds as gifts? or like, just rip out my heart. I think he'll like that. probably kiss you or like cuddle. it's adorable how docile he gets around you. I'd imagine it's like watching a zookeeper snuggle with tiger cubs they raised while the other would rip other people to shreds."

"okay wtf are you talking about. why would you... WANT him to like me? is this part of your evil plans?"

"mm. well, would you believe me if I said I just wanna see you somehow succeed without being discarded in the dumpster in sans's basement?"

"no."

"hehehe. yeah I'm planning on ruining your marriage at the last day. I want to be the worst wingman ever."

"I don't understand. why are you so sure he won't hate me? he... he wants to kill me."

"that's BECAUSE he loves you silly. it's his... way of making sure you're "safe" instead of becoming someone else's exp. kinda like a twisted way of giving his greatest mercy."

"he is going to kill you too right? doesn't that mean he'd love you too?"

"psht I WISH! nah he doesn't give me a fast out. makes sure it's as painful as it can possibly be before I run out of hp. then again it's pointless since I literally can't feel anything. that's not his mercy. that's straight up spite." they shrug.

"he really does care about you you know. it'd be a waste to die to him. DON'T LET HIM TAKE YOUR LIFE. he'd be lonely without you." they frown. "least with YOU he won't be left for dead in a ghost town if I'm gone. call it a plan B in case I actually don't come back. make sure you'll take good care of him"

"what? what do you mean?"

"I've stayed with him cuz leaving him would be too cruel. killing him would leave ME alone. but with you in the mix everyone is happy."

"then why did you give me the reset!?"

"so he can't push you away using the old (you wouldn't understand resets) bullcrap. such a drama queen honestly."

"liar. you just want entertainment."

"true. that too. can't a person just enjoy both being an asshole and being empathetic?"

"you're NOT going to start getting any sympathy from me because of this. you're manipulating me! I'm just a second in command pawn for you aren't I? you're replacement to torment THE ONE PERSON WHO GAVE A SHIT ABOUT ME!"

they stayed silent for a moment...

before pinning you down to the ground and slicing through your souls shield, poking their knife to your throat.

"of course I am. you're so fucking dumb to think I actually GIVE a shit about your dumb relationship with my rival. you almost seemed to forget you're a hostage here that I've had the GENEROSITY to teach self defense."

your eyes widen as you flinch feeling the tip break through the skin.

"I can hurt you room I can BREAK you too. I just don't WANT TO because it'd be too predictable. don't forget your place y/n. if you really are set on those ideals then whats stopping you?"

their grip loses from your hands as they place the blade in your hand.

"go on. then. slay me if you think Im SO evil. I mean hehehe... I'd still come back but if this is going to be your first kill might aswell be me right? "

your hand shook on the blade as they forced your hand forward into their chest.

"STICK TO IT THEN COWARD. FUCKING KILL ME. GO IMPRESS HIM! or are you gonna just make the excuse of killing people is bad? I'll kill sooooo many more people if you don't stop me here hehehe... I'll turn you into a monster too."

your hands shake. you can't. you can't you CAN'T. YOU HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER WAY. THERE HAS TO BE.

[halothenthehorns]

Chapter 13: I TAKE A PERMANENT VACATION

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it! This is a depressing freaking chapter to infuse the holiday with, lol.

For everyone else, I hope you enjoy your day and your life and your year and the hour you spend reading my insanity!

PJOPJOPJOPJO

Nico read the new chapter title with a sense of ill. The idea of running across Percy's ghost had come to him plenty in the darkest parts of that maze, he'd been convinced for months at a time those would be his only friends. The one who had gotten Bianca killed had himself died in his own Greek tragedy of trying to come after him and becoming lost in a place Nico was slowly conquering, but Nico would find his wandering spirit and nurse him back enough to guide him to where he needed to go.

The idea that Percy might have died in this volcanic eruption and he didn't even get a hint of knowing that disturbed him slightly less than his old creepy thoughts about how his part in this would end, so he tried to read like it was any other.

"Oh hell," Magnus yelped. "Are we finally going to get an explanation for how you wound up down here? Are you permanently sleeping with the fishes? Did someone," he cut his finger across his throat with sound and everything.

"I don't think I'm actually dead," Percy studied his still trembling hands with uncertainty though, patting absently at his shirt and pants too to make sure it was real.

"And it wouldn't explain the rest of the books?" but Jason's sounded more like stacked questions, because really none of this made to much sense given they had no answers to start with outside of a gods will.

"As far as I'm aware, you are not actually dead," Thalia managed casually enough, but she dreaded this chapter more than anyone. Calypso was not a myth she'd ever dealt with personally, and she knew all she'd be hearing while Nico read was Annabeth's desperate voice through their connection begging her to help find an answer other than the obvious. She'd been prepared to go down to Tartarus and drag his soul back to get that look out of her little sister's eyes.

I woke up feeling like I was still on fire. My skin stung. My throat felt as dry as sand.

"The fact that you still have feeling is the impressive part after being a literal comet," Will told him with a kind of critical, stern tone like he thought Percy was still tempted to try again.

"The kind that only comes around in one lifetime," Percy assured.

"Hopefully they don't name anything after it, or worse, you get some kind of crazy superpowers from it," Alex offered.

"Or worse, aliens." Magnus agreed.

"Why would there be an alien free riding on my comet?" Percy asked.

"I don't know, just seems like every sci-fi movie comes with aliens masquerading as comets," he shrugged.

"My life is weird enough without adding bad costumes and CGI," Percy sighed.

I saw blue sky and trees above me. I heard a fountain gurgling, and smelled juniper and cedar and a bunch of other sweet-scented plants. I heard waves, too, gently lapping on a rocky shore. I wondered if I was dead, but I knew better. I'd been to the Land of the Dead, and there was no blue sky.

"The fact that that is a more normal sentence than you, a child of the sea, not waking up on the beach more regularly, really says something about your life," Magnus couldn't help but inform Percy.

"Who would want to wake up with a sunburn every day?" Percy shrugged. "Plus, that sand really does get everywhere. Nah, I'm good."

Apparently only normal people, Magnus sighed as he answered himself.

I tried to sit up. My muscles felt like they were melting.

"I hear to much exercise will do that to you," Will said wisely.

"And here I thought the more obvious punchline was global warming. We must save the planet, think of the Percy," Nico snickered.

"You're all missing the obvious joke that Percy is clearly an evil green witch in disguise," Thalia chuckled.

"I was just half cooked alive like a lobster, can't I get a pass on all this?" Percy smiled knowing the answer.

"No," they all laughed.

"Stay still," a girl's voice said. "You're too weak to rise."

She laid a cool cloth across my forehead. A bronze spoon hovered over me and liquid was dribbled into my mouth. The drink soothed my throat and left a warm chocolaty aftertaste. Nectar of the gods. Then the girl's face appeared above me.

She had almond eyes and caramel-color hair braided over one shoulder.

She was...fifteen? Sixteen? It was hard to tell. She had one of those faces that just seemed timeless. She began singing, and my pain dissolved. She was working magic. I could feel her music sinking into my skin, healing and repairing my brain.

"Who?" I croaked.

"Shhh, brave one," she said. "Rest and heal. No harm will come to you here. I am Calypso."

"It's nice she came out front with her name," Magnus said. "But huh?"

"If they start by introducing themselves, they're probably going to be very powerful and more fun to defeat," Alex rubbed his hands together in excitement.

"I already feared for my life enough without that, but thanks," Percy sighed.

The next time I woke I was in a cave, but as far as caves go, I'd been in a lot worse.

"I mean, compared to the cyclops cave where Grover was being held hostage, a bear cave sounds like a vacation too," Jason nodded.

"Does the underworld count as a giant cave?" Magnus asked.

"Um, yes?" Nico admitted.

"We did not go into a cave on your last adventure, but you've been mostly underground in this one to make up for it, so I'd say you are a credible enough person to judge this," Thalia nodded sanctimoniously.

Yet in all this talk, Percy's empty hand tingled as if Annabeth had brushed against him, wanting to lock her fingers through his. She had a habit of holding his hand in places like this, but she sure wouldn't be this time, some part of him knew.

The ceiling glittered with different-color crystal formations— white and purple and green, like I was inside one of those cut geodes you see in souvenir shops. I was lying on a comfortable bed with feather pillows and cotton sheets. The cave was divided into sections by white silk curtains.

Against one wall stood a large loom and a harp. Against the other wall were shelves neatly stacked with jars of fruit preserves. Dried herbs hung from the ceiling: rosemary, thyme, and a bunch of other stuff. My mother could've named them all.

"You haven't said anything about Sally being into gardening," Nico said in surprise, though he well remembered that flower box he'd once appeared next to.

"She knows them from cooking, not much of a hobby she can keep up with in the middle of the city to grow her own," Percy said with a wistful kind of smile. He wanted that for his mom. He bet Poseidon would have granted her a whole biome of nature if she asked. Just tap on the bathroom door three times or something, and poof, a hidden world she'd love to be part of.

There was a fireplace built into the cave wall, and a pot bubbling over the flames. It smelled great, like beef stew.

I sat up, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in my head. I looked at my arms, sure that they would be hideously scarred, but they seemed fine. A little pinker than usual, but not bad. I was wearing a white cotton T-shirt and cotton drawstring pants that weren't mine. My feet were bare. In a moment of panic, I wondered what happened to Riptide, but I felt my pocket and there was my pen, right where it always reappeared.

"I'm starting to wonder if there's even a limit on what that pen won't come back from," Jason looked more than impressed while he had that critical look on his face again. "If you threw it into outer space would it still come back?"

"I don't currently have any friends with a rocket ship to test that theory, but I'll let you know," Percy shrugged, holding his pen tight to him now just in case Jason wanted to try for himself.

Not only that but the Stygian ice dog whistle was back in my pocket, too. Somehow it had followed me. And that didn't exactly reassure me.

"Yeah, me either," Alex heaved a great sigh of remorse, and he really wanted Quintus and his dog to be a good guy. "Maybe he's trying to be like Chiron, he came across as a creepy stalker at first too."

"Hopefully," Percy wouldn't turn down another cool mentor who gave him good advice and cool gifts, but he was still too suspicious to really hope it would work out.

With difficulty, I stood. The stone floor was freezing under my feet. I turned and found myself staring into a polished bronze mirror.

"Holy Poseidon," I muttered. I looked as if I'd lost twenty pounds I couldn't afford to lose. My hair was a rat's nest. It was singed at the edges like Hephaestus's beard. If I saw that face on somebody walking down a highway intersection asking for money, I would've locked the car doors.

"Percy, you don't have a car," Nico told him.

"My mom's car doors just doesn't give the same ring to it," Percy rolled his eyes, fighting the urge, and losing it to sag in his seat with remembered exhaustion. Thalia was looking like an awfully comfortable prop right now.

Magnus kept his lips tight shut about that. He never spent much time looking in a mirror for a few years now, but he was pretty sure he'd looked that bad before Hearth and Blitz found him.

I turned away from the mirror. The cave entrance was to my left. I headed toward the daylight.

The cave opened onto a green meadow. On the left was a grove of cedar trees and on the right a huge flower garden. Four fountains gurgled in the meadow, each shooting water from the pipes of stone satyrs. Straight ahead, the grass sloped down to a rocky beach. The waves of a lake lapped against the stones. I could tell it was a lake because...well, I just could. Fresh water. Not salt. The sun sparkled on the water, and the sky was pure blue. It seemed like a paradise, which immediately made me nervous. You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed.

"Are you telling me I'm most likely to die at a Pottery Barn?" Alex demanded.

"Paradise probably isn't even subjective enough to argue," Thalia agreed with a sigh. "We half-bloods can die somewhere like a dog park or a freaking mall."

"The only paradise we have is places where monsters aren't, and then we inevitably attract them to that place," Jason frowned. "What kind of paradox is that called?"

"Shit, does that make this place a utopia?" Magnus groaned.

"Well this is just getting more depressing the longer it drags on," Nico reminded, and he wasn't even the one causing it. He kept reading loudly and decided he'd blame the book, and Percy's life, rather than himself on the continued trend.

The girl with the braided caramel hair, the one who'd called herself Calypso, was standing at the beach, talking to someone. I couldn't see him very well in the shimmer from the sunlight off the water, but they appeared to be arguing.

"I really don't think it's just a joke when I say Percy attracts fights everywhere he goes, even to a tropical paradise," Will shook his head in exhaustion.

"Task failed successfully," Percy hoped. "They can keep that up while I escape I'm sure." He hadn't felt trapped though, he vividly remembered that. His feelings of this island were more dreamlike than any memory yet given back. Like that old apartment he used to live in with his mom, maybe the few short years before Gabe had come along. A home he could never go back to, but some part of him would always want to.

I tried to remember what I knew about Calypso from the old myths. I'd heard the name before, but...I couldn't remember. Was she a monster? Did she trap heroes and kill them? But if she was evil, why was I still alive?

"All excellent questions," Jason sighed.

"Percy will get answers to all of them as he's running for his life I'm sure," Alex offered, which made nobody feel better.

I walked toward her slowly because my legs were still stiff. When the grass changed to gravel, I looked down to keep my balance, and when I looked up again, the girl was alone. She wore a white sleeveless Greek dress with a low circular neckline trimmed in gold. She brushed at her eyes like she'd been crying.

"Well," she said, trying for a smile, "the sleeper finally wakes."

"If he's Sleeping Beauty, does that make Annabeth Prince Charming?" Magnus snorted.

"Percy sleeps enough to fulfill the role," Thalia chuckled with amusement, "and Annabeth would rock a horse and sword if she needed to."

"I would rather get to the monster killing me part than indulge this further," Percy groaned, or he was going to be suffering kiss of life jokes and endless Halloween costume ideas for days.

"Who were you talking to?" My voice sounded like a frog that had spent time in a microwave.

"What a noble frog, putting up with that to be such a comparison to you," there was nothing but dread in Nico's voice though as he tried not to wonder how Percy knew that.

"Science lab got weird during the dissection class, you don't want to know," Percy shivered.

"Oh...just a messenger," she said.

Will snorted softly, though he felt bad he was the only one who got the joke. Nobody else read that deep into it.

"How do you feel?"

"How long have I been out?"

"Time," Calypso mused. "Time is always difficult here. I honestly don't know, Percy."

"You know my name?"

"Not a shock anymore," Magnus grudgingly admitted. He wished it still were, but the days of Medusa creeping him out for a multitude of reasons were in the past, and that one had never even been able to rank to high considering everything else.

"You talk in your sleep."

I blushed. "Yeah. I've been...uh, told that before."

"How nobody's ever tried to smother you for that I will never know," Thalia said with her own mystified face. The few times she'd slept around Percy, they'd been out in the open taking turns keeping watch for each other, so she'd never had to actually try and fall asleep to his nonsense.

"Yes. Who is Annabeth?"

"Oh, uh.

Percy's brain fried and short circuited in his head like another volcano had gone off. He would be more surprised if steam wasn't coming out of his ears. It would take him less time to say who Annabeth wasn't...

A friend.

He exhaled in relief at how well that summed it up, glad he'd been to tired back then to even try and articulate anything else as his lips still felt more prominent on his face than they ever had before.

We were together when—wait, how did I get here? Where am I?"

Calypso reached up and ran her fingers through my mangled hair. I stepped back nervously.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I've just grown used to caring for you.

The others were oddly quiet, clearly trying to judge for themselves how much they believed her sincerity. She'd had ample opportunity to hurt Percy true, but for all they knew she was just lulling him there and keeping him from getting back to full strength until Luke showed up. She could be slowly sucking the life out of him. There was just no telling what motive could be going on or who she was arguing with until it was to late.

As to how you got here, you fell from the sky. You landed in the water, just there." She pointed across the beach. "I do not know how you survived. The water seemed to cushion your fall. As to where you are, you are in Ogygia."

She pronounced it like oh-jee-jee-ah.

"Was the second jee really necessary?" Magnus huffed. "It feels like they're just being extra."

"No noun should be more than two syllables, it's just exhausting," Percy agreed.

"Your name is three," Thalia looked at him strangely.

"And I stand by what I said," Percy nodded.

"Is that near Mount St. Helens?" I asked, because my geography is pretty terrible.

"Sure Percy, it might be if you travel back in time or something," Will chuckled.

"Maybe I'll find them constructing the Statue of Liberty next door," Percy smirked.

Calypso laughed. It was a small restrained laugh, like she found me really funny but didn't want to embarrass me. She was cute when she laughed.

Percy felt a dull sense of dread thud in his chest, but again, it wasn't vicious. He didn't feel like ripping his heart out in fear it was attacking him. Just an aching feeling, a muscle he'd long since stopped using.

He watched as six pairs of eyebrows shut up around him now with a vague amusement as well. Magnus and Alex seemed immediately suspicious and weary what kind of spell he was being put under, whether he realized it or not. Jason and Thalia looked amused, like they were thinking how best to tell Annabeth about this for maximum teasing.

Will and Nico exchanged weary looks though. Not the, 'Oh Gods, Percy's about to die kind,' but the sort where they weren't sure if they wanted to know the outcome of this. Percy didn't talk about his time out there, and while it was interesting to get some first hand lore on this place, it was coming at a pretty personal cost to Percy.

Nico read swiftly, he didn't want to linger on this.

"It isn't near anything, brave one," she said. "Ogygia is my phantom island. It exists by itself, anywhere and nowhere.

"I wonder if there are other islands out there that can do a bit of both." Alex grinned. "You really didn't explore the Sea of Monsters enough to be sure there's not an island out there that's sometimes there and sometimes not."

"If I find a haunted ghost island that only appears during high tide, I'll call you," Percy promised. Mostly so he could blame Alex for its existence.

You can heal here in safety. Never fear."

"It's not himself he's afraid for," Jason muttered.

Percy heard, and grinned at him. It was a good feeling for at least a moment, to know your friends knew you so well.

"But my friends—"

"Annabeth," she said. "And Grover and Tyson?"

"Yes!" I said. "I have to get back to them. They're in danger."

She touched my face, and I didn't back away this time. "Rest first. You are no good to your friends until you heal."

As soon as she said it, I realized how tired I was.

Magnus still shivered with distaste as he waited for the shoe to drop. That this vacation was just another Hotel, and Percy was soon going to start forgetting everything that mattered to himself except this girl who he had no choice but to fall in love with because she told him that's what he needed to do, or maybe he'd start seeing puncture marks on his neck and this was another kind of vampire, like a subspecies of Kelli.

"You're not...you're not an evil sorceress, are you?"

She smiled coyly. "Why would you think that?"

"Well, I met Circe once, and she had a pretty nice island, too. Except she liked to turn men into guinea pigs."

"A sad fact that is such a major exception," Alex sighed.

"There's no such thing as the perfect utopia," Thalia agreed.

Calypso gave me that laugh again. "I promise I will not turn you into a guinea pig."

"Or anything else?"

"I am no evil sorceress," Calypso said. "And I am not your enemy, brave one. Now rest. Your eyes are already closing."

She was right. My knees buckled, and I would've landed face-first in the gravel if Calypso hadn't caught me. Her hair smelled like cinnamon. She was very strong, or maybe I was just really weak and thin. She walked me back to a cushioned bench by the fountain and helped me lie down.

"Rest," she ordered. And I fell asleep to the sound of the fountains and the smell of cinnamon and juniper.

Percy shivered. The kind of ghost breathing on his neck feeling. Because there was no sense of danger in him. And it was creeping him out.

Where was the adrenaline? Where was the fear and worry? Where was that sense that had guided him through all his past memories of what to trust and to know when he should be about to run?

He kept wanting to watch Thalia for some kind of hint he was missing something, but she seemed as somber over there as he felt. Like a long lost friend had died.

The next time I woke it was night, but I wasn't sure if it was the same night or many nights later. I was in the bed in the cave, but I rose and wrapped a robe around myself and padded outside. The stars were brilliant—thousands of them, like you only see way out in the country. I could make out all the constellations Annabeth had taught me: Capricorn, Pegasus, Sagittarius. And there, near the southern horizon, was a new constellation: the Huntress, a tribute to a friend of ours who had died last winter.

Nico did not like himself for the distaste he had of those words... Why didn't Bianca get a whole constellation? It was Zoe's choice to go on this quest and be slated for death the moment she heard that prophecy, and his sister went in almost blind...

But Thalia was making some stupid joke at Percy about never seeming to find his own constellation and his sister probably would have been over there laughing with them without batting an eye at that passage. She probably would have smiled for her lieutenant.

"Percy, what do you see?"

I brought my eyes back to earth. However amazing the stars were, Calypso was twice as brilliant.

Percy had always wished Annabeth here from the moment he'd opened his eyes. He still did now, to know she was safe and away from volcanoes he'd exploded. He wanted to hear her explain to him already who Calypso was fully.

Most of all, he wanted to watch how she'd be reacting to this. If she was rolling her eyes at him, or jealous, or hurt, or uncaring at all.

He found himself watching Thalia, his best friend in here to figure out the same, but she seemed to be avoiding his eyes as she played with her bracelet. He didn't know what thoughts were plaguing her, and a part of him wondered if it had something to do with why Annabeth wasn't here and what she might know about that.

Or was it something simpler and she already knew the choice he felt stretching ahead of him?

I mean, I've seen the goddess of love herself, Aphrodite, and I would never say this out loud or she'd blast me to ashes, but for my money, Calypso was a lot more beautiful,

Nico winced and looked very much like someone was about to blast him to ashes just for saying that sentence. It would be just his luck to get obliterated into nothing because he'd said what Percy once thought and got away with.

There was a dramatic pause as everybody waited for it to happen, and when nothing did, Nico kept reading with an odd smile on his face like he got away with something.

because she just seemed so natural, like she wasn't trying to be beautiful and didn't even care about that. She just was.

Annabeth's like that too, Percy realized in surprise. Unlike Kelli, who was a terrifying kind of beautiful in her natural way of looking like Aphrodite actually did have a kid with Hephaestus, Annabeth always brushed her hair up into a careless ponytail and had dirt on her at any given time and didn't realize her own allure. The one time he'd seen her in a dress it had shocked him stupid. He was rather glad looking back he'd been a guina pig for that, it made it seem lesser, more like a dream than real memory of how alien perfect she'd been.

With her braided hair and white dress, she seemed to glow in the moonlight. She was holding a tiny plant in her hands. Its flowers were silver and delicate.

"I was just looking at..." I found myself staring at her face. "Uh...I forgot."

Nico heard some of them laughing around him, but it still sounded nervous, they were still waiting for her to sprout into a monster or reveal the 'gotcha' or something. Even knowing that wasn't the case, Nico and Will exchanged a tired look. The usual flippant, enjoyable energy just wasn't getting up in this chapter as they felt how confining this moment in Percy's life was. It didn't feel right to mock him when Percy looked isolated with his confusion over there.

She laughed gently. "Well, as long as you're up, you can help me plant these."

She handed me a plant, which had a clump of dirt and roots at the base.

The flowers glowed as I held them. Calypso picked up her gardening spade and directed me to the edge of the garden, where she began to dig.

"That's moonlace," Calypso explained. "It can only be planted at night."

I watched the silvery light flicker around the petals. "What does it do?"

"Do?" Calypso mused. "It doesn't really do anything, I suppose. It lives, it gives light, it provides beauty. Does it have to do anything else?"

"I suppose not," I said.

"Sounds to me like it's doing plenty," Alex agreed. Not every plant had to poison or cure something, nourish or indue. Things just existed without a purpose, which was their purpose.

She took the plant, and our hands met. Her fingers were warm. She planted the moonlace and stepped back, surveying her work. "I love my garden."

"This is a very odd evil plan," Magnus found himself scratching his head the longer this dragged on. "Is she trying to turn you vegan? Is her ultimate goal to use you as fertilizer?"

"Grover might not bother to rescue me if so," but Percy's smile was lackluster at best. He was growing less convinced by the word this was some trap at all, but this was a Greek legend, he knew that much. He was still waiting for the bad part to show up.

"It's awesome," I agreed. I mean, I wasn't exactly a gardening type, but Calypso had arbors covered with six different colors of roses, lattices filled with honeysuckle, rows of grapevines bursting with red and purple grapes that would've made Dionysus sit up and beg.

"Ah, I see," Jason theatrically clapped his forehead. "They caught the wrong demigod. This is supposed to be a trap for a child of Ceres."

"You've been eating there, haven't you?" Magnus confirmed. "Is this like an underworld situation? You're imprisoned forever because you ate from this awesome place?"

Percy pressed his lips together as that sense of longing only grew. He couldn't find in himself to play along. Imprisoned. Maybe it wasn't him who was on the permanent vacation really.

"Back home," I said, "my mom always wanted a garden."

"Why did she not plant one?"

"Well, we live in Manhattan. In an apartment."

"Manhattan? Apartment?"

"Oh, well, maybe she's not evil after all," Will chuckled. "It's common knowledge all people who are associated with big cities are evil. Clearly, having never even heard of the concept, she's immune to this. Purely innocent and good in her hide-a-way pasture."

"Aren't most horror movies out in the boons where nobody can hear them scream?" Nico asked. Quite a few kids asked if he was born out there enough to make him look up what they were getting at.

Will opened, and closed his mouth with a laugh instead of answering.

I stared at her. "You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?"

"I fear not. I haven't left Ogygia in...a long time."

"Well, Manhattan's a big city, with not much gardening space."

Calypso frowned. "That is sad. Hermes visits from time to time. He tells me the world outside has changed greatly. I did not realize it had changed so much you cannot have gardens."

"Why haven't you left your island?"

She looked down. "It is my punishment."

"You know Percy, I'm starting to suspect your luck is bad enough to get roped into somebody else's bad luck," Jason admitted. Nothing bad had happened yet, and judging by his silence over there and nobody nearly dying, he was beginning to suspect this wasn't going to be that kind of chapter.

"As long as she doesn't take her punishment out on me," Percy's heart was doing an odd beat in his chest. A thudding, painful number that hurt to concentrate on. Calypso, her name kept swimming around his mind like a piranha that was well fed but shouldn't be ignored. There was just something about her that had nothing and everything to do with Annabeth he was missing.

"Why? What did you do?"

"A classic Percy," Thalia sighed. "A classic boy. Blunt as an arrow to the face."

"I've never used a boxing glove arrow," Percy grinned.

"I? Nothing. But I'm afraid my father did a great deal. His name is Atlas."

"How many kids did this guy have?" Magnus asked in surprise.

"That's like asking how many kids Zeus had. You're just happier not trying to count them all," Thalia sighed.

The name sent a shiver down my back. I'd met the Titan Atlas last winter, and it had not been a happy time. He'd tried to kill pretty much everyone I care about.

"I mean, that's most evil people you meet," Nico said fairly. "I don't know what happy times involves trying to kill people."

"Maybe if Calypso had been there instead of Zoe things would have gone better," Alex snorted. "Girl should have opted a jailbreak for her half sister before the quest."

"I don't think there was really time for that," Thalia reminded with a strained smile. She didn't think it inherently insensitive to laugh about Zoe's past decisions, gods knew she'd done enough of that herself, but it wasn't a topic she wanted to continue to discuss either.

"Still," I said hesitantly, "it's not fair to punish you for what your father's done. I knew another daughter of Atlas. Her name was Zoë. She was one of the bravest people I've ever met."

Calypso studied me for a long time. Her eyes were sad.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Are—are you healed yet, my brave one? Do you think you'll be ready to leave soon?"

"What? I asked. "I don't know." I moved my legs. They were still stiff. I was already getting dizzy from standing up so long.

The fact that he could stand up for any length of time and wasn't sprinting and threatening to get out of there still gnawed at something in Percy. Something about this place, this girl. He wanted to help her, to stay, and it was nothing evil or magical making him. Just Calypso was enough.

"You want me to go?"

"I..." Her voice broke. "I'll see you in the morning. Sleep well."

She ran off toward the beach. I was too confused to do anything but watch until she disappeared in the dark.

"No, that's a classic Percy," Jason couldn't comprehend how Percy hadn't interrogated this girl to know everything about what was going on by now. He was the dopiest, deadliest guy Jason had ever met, and he was quite positive of this fact not even remembering anyone outside this room.

I don't know exactly how much time passed. Like Calypso said, it was hard to keep track on the island. I knew I should be leaving. At the very least, my friends would be worried. At worst, they could be in serious danger. I didn't even know if Annabeth had made it out of the volcano. I tried to use my empathy link with Grover several times, but I couldn't make contact. I hated not knowing if they were all right.

On the other hand, I really was weak. I couldn't stay on my feet more than a few hours. Whatever I'd done in Mount St. Helens had drained me like nothing else I'd ever expected.

Nico could hardly believe the words out of his own mouth. If he hadn't already been struck repeatedly in here that Percy wasn't the guy he'd dreamed he was, this more than anything put the final nail in the coffin. Percy had the motivation to go home, he'd always done everything up to this point by his driving factor being to help others.

He just, was choosing not to this time. It wasn't even a big heroic sacrifice, he had no idea of Calypso's curse yet. He was just, hesitating, and Nico found himself fascinated what had made Percy leave. Had he been unable to put down the mantel of the hero? Had it been Annabeth?

I didn't feel like a prisoner or anything. I remembered the Lotus Hotel and Casino in Vegas, where I'd been lured into this amazing game world until I almost forgot everything I cared about. But the island of Ogygia wasn't like that at all. I thought about Annabeth, Grover, and Tyson constantly. I remembered exactly why I needed to leave. I just...couldn't.

And then there was Calypso herself.

She never talked much about herself, but that just made me want to know more. I would sit in the meadow, sipping nectar, and I would try to concentrate on the flowers or the clouds or the reflections on the lake, but I was really staring at Calypso as she worked, the way she brushed her hair over her shoulder, and the little strand that fell in her face whenever she knelt to dig in the garden. Sometimes she would hold out her hand and birds would fly out of the woods to settle on her arm—lorikeets, parrots, doves.

"You fell into a fairy tell land my friend," Magnus told him. "I bet she turns into an ogre, or a dragon or something once you decided to stay."

Magnus wasn't really kidding, but Percy laughed like he was anyways. That didn't feel like the right answer either. Nothing had felt like the right thing to do since he'd blown up that volcano.

She would tell them good morning, ask how it was going back at the nest, and they would chirp for a while, then fly off cheerfully. Calypso's eyes gleamed. She would look at me and we'd share a smile, but almost immediately she'd get that sad expression again and turn away. I didn't understand what was bothering her.

"She's using reverse psychology on you and makes you think she wants you to leave while really wanting you to stay," Alex joined in.

Percy blinked at him. Something in there finally did feel like an answer, but twisted. She was no manipulator, he knew that, felt that in his memory like his instinctive trust of Thalia.

One night we were eating dinner together at the beach. Invisible servants had set up a table with beef stew and apple cider,

"Is that all she had to eat there? Is that the secret torture?" Will frowned. "Also, where does the cow part come from?"

"She's making those special veggies that taste like beef," Nico snickered.

"Maybe Hermes delivers her yearly rations she can't grow, like toilet paper," Thalia smirked.

which may not sound all that exciting, but that's because you haven't tasted it. I hadn't even noticed the invisible servants when I first got to the island, but after a while I became aware of the beds making themselves, meals cooking on their own, clothes being washed and folded by unseen hands.

Magnus threw his hands up in exasperation. "This is officially the best vacation ever. Can I blow up a volcano too Percy?"

"Not without following the proper steps by sitting through a sex ed class, being chased by Telkehines, and nearly dying." Percy shrugged.

"Geez, I might still consider it," Magnus huffed at this luxury.

Anyway, Calypso and I were sitting at dinner, and she looked beautiful in the candlelight.

"If you mention how pretty this girl is one more time, I might have to revoke your crush on Annabeth," Jason snorted.

Percy brushed at his gray bangs, his stomach in knots. He wished he had some snippy rebuttal for that, but he was disturbingly silent.

"People can have a crush on more than one person Jason, broaden your mind," Alex finally chuckled into the awkward silence.

Thalia was studying her best friend with those electric blue eyes. She'd been really relieved to see him at the beginning, like he'd been missing for a long time. Is this where he'd been? Was she angry with him having taken to long to come back?

I was telling her about New York and Camp Half-Blood, and then I started telling her about the time Grover had eaten an apple while we were playing Hacky Sack with it. She laughed, showing off her amazing smile, and our eyes met. Then she dropped her gaze.

She was scared, Percy tried to put into words that expression, but that didn't quite fit right. She wasn't telling him something about this place, and if he could not resist one kind of torture, it was temptation.

"There it is again," I said.

"What?"

"You keep pulling away, like you're trying not to enjoy yourself."

"You probably scared her with that story Percy," Magnus rolled his eyes. "I might still have nightmares about Grover using a mega-goat bite on me if was drinking apple cider."

"I don't think she could have nightmares on that island," Percy frowned. He certainly hadn't been having any. The more he thought about it, the more he realized it was oddly similar to their current prison. Invisible servants, all the food one could eat, the company was mostly tolerable when they weren't annoying. He still missed Annabeth, his mom, Grover and everyone like a physical ache, but there was nothing stopping him from refusing to relearn his memories, hide in a room and stay here forever. The idea was just loathsome if he thought about it for more than a second.

It hadn't been there though. There had been something about Calypso, the constant rest he got. The problem with staying on vacation for to long was that it made going back seem harder than it had before.

She kept her eyes on her glass of cider. "As I told you, Percy, I have been punished. Cursed, you might say."

"How? Tell me. I want to help."

"Don't say that. Please don't say that."

"Tell me what the punishment is."

He wanted to help her, Percy finally realized the obvious. Once he found out how to help break her curse, he could leave with a clear conscience. Of course, it seemed obvious now. This place probably played exactly into one's fatal flaw. He might have just met her, but he could have been life long friends with someone like Calypso.

She covered her half-finished stew with a napkin, and immediately an invisible servant whisked the bowl away. "Percy, this island, Ogygia, is my home, my birthplace. But it is also my prison. I am under...house arrest, I guess you would call it. I will never visit this Manhattan of yours. Or anywhere else. I am alone here."

"Doesn't sound like much of a punishment," Alex muttered. He preferred being alone, all people did was disappoint and judge you.

"Maybe for one lifetime, but all of them?" Magnus frowned. He never would have made it on the streets without Hearth and Blitz. He missed the boy he used to play with who always stopped running too fast when he had to grab his inhaler. He missed being in the back of a class reading and ignoring the teacher until he had his book taken away and then begrudgingly laughing and playing a game of tic tac toe with a random kid in detention. Maybe he'd learn why they were there, maybe they'd just sit in silence together. The idea of never being allowed around another soul again sounded like a curse to him.

Alex heard all of that in his short question, and sighed as he practiced signing the alphabet to himself in random order.

"Because your father was Atlas."

She nodded. "The gods do not trust their enemies. And rightly so. I should not complain. Some of the prisons are not nearly as nice as mine."

"I guess she heard what her dad's going through," Jason said in agreement.

"It's, nice, the gods took it easy on a random kid," Will tried to say in his usual upbeat way, but he wasn't so sure how confident he was of that. He didn't actually know what crime Calypso had committed other than support and what that entailed, yet he'd heard plenty of the gods unjust punishments for lesser things.

"But that's not fair," I said. "Just because you're related doesn't mean you support him. This other daughter I knew, Zoë, Nightshade—she fought against him. She wasn't imprisoned."

"But, Percy," Calypso said gently, "I did support him in the first war. He is my father."

"Ah," Magnus said in understanding as the final piece of it all fit into place.

"One man's vacation is another man's punishment huh?" Alex said with distaste, though for Calypso or the gods nobody was sure.

"What? But the Titans are evil!"

"Are they? All of them? All the time?"

"I've yet met a good one," Magnus said in disgust.

They weren't inherently evil, Nico knew though as he toyed with the edge of the page. Iapetus the Impaler had been cleansed of his family ties and come out as Bob, an innocent who willingly helped. Luke was a child of the 'good guys' and yet he was leading the rebellion. What made good and evil was not an answer he was privy to no matter how many ghosts he talked to about it.

She pursed her lips. "Tell me, Percy. I have no wish to argue with you, but do you support the gods because they are good, or because they are your family?"

I didn't answer. She had a point. Last winter, after Annabeth and I had saved Olympus, the gods had had a debate about whether or not they should kill me. That hadn't been exactly good. But still, I felt like I supported them because Poseidon was my dad.

"And we're back to that whole corruption of infinite cosmic power business," Alex scowled.

"It's more like a few really rotten apples and some bad tempers that need work?" Will offered with a hopeful smile. He could easily understand Percy questioning such a thing, it would have made less sense if he never had. Things had been getting better since Percy demanded of the gods his reward to prevent this all happening again though, some of them had even come around a bit for a brief time before Dionysus mysteriously stopped being there.

"Perhaps I was wrong in the war," Calypso said. "And in fairness, the gods have treated me well. They visit me from time to time. They bring me word of the outside world. But they can leave. And I cannot."

"You don't have any friends?" I asked. "I mean...wouldn't anyone else live here with you? It's a nice place."

"I bet those Hesperides would, sit around and shit talk about half-bloods all day. She might like to hang out with her half sisters," Thalia sounded reluctantly sorry for her. A maiden trapped alone in this eternal place struck a particular cord in her, one strong enough for her to ask if her punishment might ever be lifted. If she asked Artemis to let her join the hunt, would that be an insult to the gods original punishment? Thalia might even consider hiding Jason away on this island once they got out of here while she figured out what had happened to him if this underwater place didn't work out long term.

A tear trickled down her cheek. "I...I promised myself I wouldn't speak of this. But—"

She was interrupted by a rumbling sound somewhere out on the lake.

Percy groaned, a painful sounding noise deep in his chest that usually meant they should all duck and hold their breath for something disastrous about to happen.

It wasn't like that this time. Percy was angry with himself, and this situation, and no one set thing. The ocean sloshed all around them like somebody shaking a jar as he shifted around to try and get comfortable in his seat with no clear ending in sight.

A glow appeared on the horizon. It got brighter and brighter, until I could see a column of fire moving across the surface of the water, coming toward us.

"Because at this point why wouldn't aliens show up," Magnus frowned.

"Why is that your first thought?" Jason looked at him like anything left could be a strange sentence in here. "It's more likely Mercury is popping in again. Maybe he decided to use a pillar of flames this time."

"Haven't you heard stories about aliens appearing as columns of light?" Magnus asked in amusement. "I know this guy on Beacon Street who swears up and down he saw them while flying in WWII, described them just like this. I bet he'll think I'm just as crazy if I tell him it was just a god passing by."

"We're all a little crazy in some ways," Alex cheerfully reminded.

I stood and reached for my sword. "What is that?"

Calypso sighed. "A visitor."

"She doesn't seem that thrilled about it?" Alex frowned, which was weird right? Shouldn't she be jumping for joy when anyone shows up if she's so lonely? She had been cut off though, about to offer Percy something, and it wasn't particularly hard to imagine what.

As the column of fire reached the beach. Calypso stood and bowed to it formally. The flames dissipated, and standing before us was a tall man in gray overalls and a metal leg brace, his beard and hair smoldering with fire.

"Lord Hephaestus," Calypso said. "This is a rare honor."

Will scratched absently at his chin as he said, "yeah, I imagine so. Like I'm trying to think of a scenario where she's ever even met him." If he so rarely visited anyone, why would he go to this random girl. Did he study her plants to make machines out of them?

"Maybe a child of Hephaestus has landed there before," Nico shrugged. She probably hadn't met every god, he doubted they were all kind and sporadic enough to visit on their own and she probably only knew of them through the random demi god kids who passed through.

Thalia kept the thought to herself she was a prisoner because of the war she'd been in to the two. It was plenty likely Calypso knew of every Olympian because she'd had her turn to try and kill them all, possibly by learning of their favorite foods and practicing poisions even. Who knew what she'd been up to back then before coming there.

The fire god grunted. "Calypso. Beautiful as always.

"If I hear how beautiful this girl is described one more time, I'm shaving her head," Alex rolled his eyes. "Aphrodite wasn't praised this much. Annabeth isn't praised this much!"

Nico lost his composure and burst out laughing hard while Percy sighed at the pair of them. They didn't get it, they hadn't seen her in person.

Would you excuse us, please, my dear? I need to have a word with our young Percy Jackson."

Percy felt immediately humbled and worried. Was this about Annabeth?!

Hephaestus sat down clumsily at the dinner table and ordered a Pepsi.

"I wonder if he ever goes to a restaurant, and they tell him they only have coke, and he just like, changes reality to make it so they only have Pepsi now," Magnus frowned.

"I thought it would be simpler, like he just breaks their machine so no soda is carbonated," Will admitted.

"You're both evil for taking it out on the soda," Percy told.

The invisible servant brought him one, opened it too suddenly, and sprayed soda all over the gods work clothes. Hephaestus roared and spat a few curses and swatted the can away.

"Stupid servants," he muttered. "Good automatons are what she needs. They never act up!"

"I do not believe him in any way, shape, or form," Thalia scoffed.

"I think he needs a tune-up in his mind," Percy agreed.

"Hephaestus," I said, "what's going on? Is Annabeth—"

"She's fine," he said. "Resourceful girl, that one. Found her way back, told me the whole story. She's worried sick, you know."

Percy made such a sigh of relief that he cleaved out a gap of air in front of him that made a terrifying noise as the water snapped back into place.

Nico kept reading over him like he heard his life about to end every other day while the others rubbed their ears.

"You haven't told her I'm okay?"

"That's not for me to say," Hephaestus said.

Magnus shivered deep in his seat. He longed to be there for her, how alone she must feel right now. Was she back in the maze by herself? Marching into Daedalus' shop ready for murder because she thought she'd lost her best friend? He had nothing to offer her but his companionship and still couldn't even give that as he sat uselessly in place.

"Everyone thinks you're dead. I had to be sure you were coming back before I started telling everyone where you were."

"Everyone, everyone?" Jason asked critically. "Like Neptune? Who exactly was asking Vulcan where you were?"

"It wouldn't surprise me if some of the gods kept an eye on his quest and knew Hephaestus was the last god he'd seen," Thalia reminded with a scowl. Like Hera, she'd probably been keeping tabs on him enough to know he'd gone missing.

"What do you mean?" I said. "Of course I'm coming back!"

Hephaestus studied me skeptically. He fished something out of his pocket—a metal disk the size of an iPod. He clicked a button and it expanded into a miniature bronze TV. On the screen was news footage of Mount St. Helens, a huge plume of fire and ash trailing into the sky.

"Still uncertain about further eruptions," the newscaster was saying. "Authorities have ordered the evacuation of almost half a million people as a precaution. Meanwhile, ash has fallen as far away as Lake Tahoe and Vancouver, and the entire Mount St. Helens area is closed to traffic within a hundred-mile radius. While no deaths have been reported, minor injuries and illnesses include—"

Hephaestus switched it off. "You caused quite an explosion."

Percy's hand leapt to his mouth like he was going to try and hold in another scream. He just looked so ashamed Thalia instinctively leaned over and hugged him. He cautiously returned it, but his hand stayed in place, the guilt in his eyes more plain than the dark water around them.

It wasn't okay, Thalia knew as she leaned back, and she didn't say as much. Percy looked as torn apart as if he wanted to evacuate his own body, that volcano might as well have erupted inside of him and then proceeded out to the lava.

I stared at the blank bronze screen. Half a million people evacuated? Injuries. Illness. What had I done?

"I-" but Percy couldn't say how sorry he was. He couldn't see the others around him, if they looked at him with fear now. All he could feel was that dormant power in him, the one he touched every other page in here it seemed. Even now he couldn't get a handle on his emotions, his capabilities. Perhaps this place wasn't a punishment at all, but a place to learn why he should be kept away from others.

He'd always been a really bad student though.

Thalia slugged him on the shoulder and said, "and this is why boys should be kept at the bottom of the ocean! I bet if you'd gone to visit the Cyclops forges too you'd have a handle on this, it's all your dad's fault really." Like she wasn't massively speaking from experience her dad had never given her any help on her chaotic powers either.

Will and Nico were muttering away about something as usual, the book held casually in Nico's hand, the kid who had once made the dead vanish without thought and nearly taken the camp with him. Alex was lounging in his seat waiting for things to keep going while Magnus and Jason just looked reserved for the worst.

They'd all been dealing with him nearly killing them since they got in here. This vast showing of his powers didn't surprise a one, it was just a part of who he was. It wasn't a great part of him, but Percy sighed and knew what Annabeth would tell him to do once she was done strangling him for making her think he was dead. All he could do was build a better foundation next time. He had to work on getting control.

"The telekhines were scattered," the god told me. "Some vaporized. Some got away, no doubt. I don't think they'll be using my forge any time soon.

"Oh look, he got what he wanted out of it," Alex scoffed.

"Not exactly a win, win, scenario," Percy muttered. Why couldn't the gods have shown up to stop the volcano from erupting and saved all those people?

For the same reason they hadn't voted to kill him he supposed. They had their own plans, own agenda, other things better to do with their infinite time than worry about him right this moment. A part of Percy still hoped he'd asked his dad to make a few anonymous donations to help... somehow. He didn't even know, he just knew his next prayer to his dad as he scrapped food off his plate would be for this.

On the other hand, neither will I. The explosion caused Typhon to stir in his sleep. We'll have to wait and see—"

"I couldn't release him, could I? I mean, I'm not that powerful!"

The god grunted. "Not that powerful, eh? Could have fooled me. You're the son of the Earthshaker, lad. You don't know your own strength."

Percy felt a horrible pressure deep in his chest at a god telling him that. He'd taken on Ares and come out the other side without a scratch.

His friends didn't see him as a god though. Thalia was nothing but sympathetic beside him. "I've hardly touched my powers since I caused this massive storm once, nearly tore a whole city apart the news later blamed on a hurricane." She admitted. "I don't often need them more than just the minimum with the Hunters. You're still coming into it Percy."

Chiron had warned him of this, way back when, but he still felt like he didn't fully grasp all he was.

That's the last thing I wanted him to say. I hadn't been in control of myself in that mountain. I'd released so much energy I'd almost vaporized myself, drained all the life out of me. Now I found out I'd nearly destroyed the Northwest U.S. and almost woken the most horrible monster ever imprisoned by the gods. Maybe I was too dangerous. Maybe it was safer for my friends to think I was dead.

Thalia fought off the urge to smack him with the greatest of restraint. "That's not for you to decide who we hang out with Percy!"

"You've said yourself what a bad influence I am," Percy said with a reluctant tease.

"You're a pain in the ass who I would never trade away for some boring kid who couldn't blow up a volcano," she huffed.

Percy was rubbing at his arm like she had tried to pummel him, and Magnus couldn't stand watching him beat himself up. Percy had been a good friend to Annabeth, and to him this whole time. It wasn't his thing to say really, but he didn't really think Hearth would begrudge him offering to Percy, "hey, listen, Hearth's told me about how strange it is to hate a part of your own body. Just because it's something you can't control in yourself doesn't make it a bad thing, just something to live around."

"Hearth's not going to blow up half a continent because he doesn't know what he's doing," Percy said sullenly, his eyes on the floor. He assumed anyways. What did he know about elves?

"I might," Nico wasn't to happy about reminding. "Thalia might. Would you want us to stay on an island?" He was very confident of the answer he got, enough he didn't feel any major emotion at still knowing who Percy was. Percy didn't want him, his answer would be the same no matter who's name he'd given.

"No," was of course his automatic response.

"Then you're not that special," Thalia happily concluded.

"How do you think I feel?" Jason agreed. "I couldn't begin to guess what I'm capable of until it erupts out of me too, gods knows what form it'll take since I can't begin to guess at my parentage."

Thalia kept her face very straight to hide her continued guilt over leaving him in the dark on that. He'd know soon enough when she figured out for herself all the answers she could give him. She was not like her father, keeping him at arms length until she was ready...

"You can blame your dad if you need someone to be accountable for this," Alex said in that calm, confident way as he absently played with a strand of green hair. The pale amber eye glittered with a secret, while the dark brown one seemed heavy and tired. "Don't let that excuse you from practicing what you have to all its might though."

Percy rubbed his fingers together, still unsure how much he could let himself agree with that. What would happen one day if he went all out, who would get caught in the crossfire next...

"What about Grover and Tyson?" I asked.

Hephaestus shook his head. "No word, I'm afraid. I suppose the labyrinth has them."

"So what am I supposed to do?"

Hephaestus winced. "Don't ever ask an old cripple for advice, lad. But I'll tell you this.

"Don't ask me for advice but here's some," Alex rolled his eyes.

"No wonder his machines always go haywire, I bet their coding is just as sporadic," Magnus agreed.

"You guys have got to stop saying that kind of stuff," Will said with a nervous laugh. "Just because a god hasn't popped in here yet to kill us doesn't mean they won't."

"Pssh, we've got Percy," Alex brushed off.

Percy blushed. He wasn't sure if Alex meant he was a bigger threat, or he would get between whatever god got annoyed with their commentary. He considered both true.

You've met my wife?"

"Aphrodite."

"That's her. She's a tricky one, lad. Be careful of love. It'll twist your brain around and leave you thinking up is down and right is wrong."

"Never have I said truer words," Nico muttered for himself. It perfectly explained why he always felt...everything he'd ever felt.

I thought about my meeting with Aphrodite, in the back of a white Cadillac in the desert last winter. She'd told me that she had taken a special interest in me, and she'd be making things hard for me in the romance department, just because she liked me.

"And I still haven't forgiven her for that," Percy scowled, now fully suspecting his time with Calypso was a part of this.

"Um, be grateful she doesn't seem to be sending random guys to Annabeth's house?" Magnus offered, but he knew how unhelpful that sounded.

Percy didn't seem to think much of it either, his mind swiveling to Luke and always worried what he was up to.

"Is this part of her plan?" I asked. "Did she land me here?"

"Possibly. Hard to say with her.

Percy made an exhausted noise. He had a headache again and he wasn't even trying to pressure himself to remember what his decision had been. He just knew what it was going to be now. If Aphrodite had put him here, he had to leave. There had never been a choice, just more manipulation by the gods he was helping to win this war. Like a dog doing its job for the reward every night of a good bed and food.

His family was more than that to him though, he instantly regretted his thought as he played with his clay beads. He was picking the winning side not because any god had told him to. His choice was clear. If Kronos won, his family wouldn't.

But if you decide to leave this place—and I don't say what's right or wrong—then I promised you an answer to your quest. I promised you the way to Daedalus. Well now, here's the thing. It has nothing to do with Ariadne's string. Not really. Sure, the string worked. That's what the Titan's army will be after. But the best way through the maze...Theseus had the princess's help. And the princess was a regular mortal. Not a drop of god blood in her. But she was clever, and she could see, lad. She could see very clearly. So what I'm saying—I think you know how to navigate the maze."

"You're going to bring your mom in there?" Magnus asked like he was nuts.

Alex smacked him on the back of the head, and he yelped in surprise before he realized, "oh shit, Rachel."

"There you go," Alex nodded.

"Wow, I've never seen someone literally smack sense into someone," Thalia snickered. "If only it worked on you," it was no guess who she redirected that at.

"Try it Tinkerbell, I will eat your storms for breakfast," Percy smirked. Thalia laughed, mostly out of relief he was trying to pull himself out of his funk.

It finally sank in. Why hadn't I seen it before? Hera had been right. The answer was there all the time.

"Who would have thought of that?" Jason demanded. "Nobody would have thought, hey the girl that can see through mist should go down into the crazy dangerous dungeon and see if she can see...oh. No wait. Yeah it sounds kind of obvious when you put it like that."

"Everything is clearer with hindsight," Will snorted. "I should start carrying a flashlight on me, just in case I ever need to shine it on something already fully lit."

"A UV light," Nico added. "That way we can put secret stamps only we'll know to find."

"Brilliant!" Will cheered.

Nico smiled and shook his head in exasperation he seemed fully jazzed about this joke...but the temptation was there to really do it. Go back into that maze and put up some secret clue or path to let a half-blood know others had been here, and they'd gotten out. So no kid would be trapped in there alone again.

"Yeah," I said. "Yeah, I know."

"Then you'll need to decide whether or not you're leaving."

"I..." I wanted to say yes. Of course I would. But the words stuck in my throat. I found myself looking out at the lake, and suddenly the idea of leaving seemed very hard.

Percy didn't often feel the need to kick everybody out of the room so that he could have some personal privacy, but this. This was definitely one of those moments.

Thankfully, it went without commentary. Not even judgy silence. Percy finally guessed what that reserved look on Thalia's face was. The same one she often had when she stared at her tree to long. Nobody could force him to go back, he had to want to. He could have stayed there and maybe Annabeth would have joined the Hunters after all or anything else that could have happened. He didn't though, he knew that about himself. Nobody had made Thalia take a stand on that hill, but her spirit had lingered in that tree instead of vanishing long ago, enough of her had wanted to come back the fleece could work its magic on her.

"Don't decide yet," Hephaestus advised. "Wait until daybreak. Daybreak is a good time for decisions."

"Will Daedalus even help us?" I asked. "I mean, if he gives Luke a way to navigate the Labyrinth, we're dead. I saw dreams about...Daedalus killed his nephew. He turned bitter and angry and—"

"It isn't easy being a brilliant inventor," Hephaestus rumbled. "Always alone. Always misunderstood. Easy to turn bitter, make horrible mistakes. People are more difficult to work with than machines. And when you break a person, he can't be fixed."

Percy thought of Luke. His broken body at the bottom of that mountain, his crooked smile slashing that sword at him. He knew Hephaestus didn't mean physically fixed.

Though a cyborg would be a lot cooler to fight.

Hephaestus brushed the last drops of Pepsi off his work clothes. "Daedalus started well enough. He helped the Princess Ariadne and Theseus because he felt sorry for them. He tried to do a good deed. And everything in his life went bad because of it. Was that fair?" The god shrugged. "I don't know if Daedalus will help you, lad, but don't judge someone until you've stood at his forge and worked with his hammer, eh?"

"He gives pretty good advice for a god who doesn't want to," Jason chuckled.

"I'll—I'll try."

Percy wanted to laugh that off, pretend he'd never have a clue where Daedalus was coming from...but his dad's words from that party he hadn't died at came to mind. How Luke had once been Hermes's pride and joy and look how far he'd fallen.

Percy had spent a lot of time in here wondering at how useful the gods were, how he'd be better off without their constant interference, this of all treacheries putting such a choice in front of him just to see how he'd react.

He didn't have to try anymore to get where a good deed could make you feel punished for the rest of your life. He'd tried to stop an army of monsters from recreating Kronos's full blade and blown up a volcano with his hammer. Daedalus was not perfect, he'd done many a horrible things, but if he was stuck in some punishment now Percy would have to help get him out of, he would without hesitation. Not because they needed him for this quest, but because the gods shouldn't get to decide anybody's eternal fate.

Hephaestus stood. "Good-bye, lad. You did well, destroying the telekhines. I'll always remember you for that."

It sounded very final, that good-bye. Then he erupted into a column of flame, and the fire moved over the water, heading back to the world outside.

"I just like to imagine all of Hephaestus's goodbyes are like that," Will said as cheerfully as ever. "The gods never fully expect to see us again. They blink and it's been a hundred years and oops, that guy died of old age I think."

Percy often thought this guy was a goofball. Nobody could be that naturally happy all the time, he had to be faking it at least every other smile. Not this time though. Will had been in this world longer, he'd had siblings to stay up late laughing about this with.

I walked along the beach for several hours. When I finally came back to the meadow, it was very late, maybe four or five in the morning, but Calypso was still in her garden, tending the flowers by starlight. Her moonlace glowed silver, and the other plants responded to the magic, glowing red and yellow and blue.

"He has ordered you to return," Calypso guessed.

"She'd like that, wouldn't she," Alex sounded blunt, but not cold. "The perfect way to make you stay."

Percy laughed, even though they both knew it was no joke.

"Well, not ordered. He gave me a choice."

Her eyes met mine. "I promised I would not offer."

"Offer what?"

"For you to stay."

"Stay," I said. "Like...forever?"

"You would be immortal on this island," she said quietly. "You would never age or die. You could leave the fight to others, Percy Jackson. You could escape your prophecy."

I stared at her, stunned. "Just like that?"

She nodded. "Just like that."

"But...my friends."

Nico was still adjusting to the feeling of admiration he had for Percy from when Percy had discovered he was a child of Hades and declaring himself the prophecy child. Percy took on the role of leader and responsibility so easily and naturally in a way he shared with Thalia Nico felt nausea over just the idea of.

But it wasn't the power that propped him into the position. It was the people around him he willingly led. Percy hadn't wanted to go back to camp to be the hero, he'd gone back because of them.

No matter how messy his shadow traveling ever got or what near-death experience he might find himself in, Nico was confident he'd never wind up on this island. Calypso would never fall in love with someone like him, but even still he stared absently down at the book for a few lingering moments. It was probably silly to think if he'd even be invited to stay, what reason he'd have to go back.

He wouldn't have had one before he got thrown into this room.

Calypso rose and took my hand. Her touch sent a warm current through my body. "You asked about my curse, Percy. I did not want to tell you. The truth is the gods send me companionship from time to time. Every thousand years or so, they allow a hero to wash up on my shores, someone who needs my help. I tend to him and befriend him, but it is never random. The Fates make sure that the sort of hero they send..."

Her voice trembled, and she had to stop.

I squeezed her hand tighter. "What? What have I done to make you sad?"

"They send a person who can never stay," she whispered. "Who can never accept my offer of companionship for more than a little while. They send me a hero I can't help...just the sort of person I can't help falling in love with."

"Huh," Alex couldn't help but sound admirable. "Somebody got really creative with that curse."

"Can we not compliment someone who tormented someone else for more eons than you can name," Jason sighed for this poor girl.

"I can admire the structure of a building without wishing it would fall on someone," Alex assured.

"Besides, this is Percy here." Magnus grinned. "You can't convince me he's not going to find some way to sneak this girl out. I bet he comes back through the labyrinth connecting to this place and gives her that freedom."

"Does she deserve it though," Alex raised a challenging brow. "She's not a victimless kid here. Who knows what she did to earn a life sentence. The gods are more than capable of just putting her right back and then deciding to destroy the labyrinth to suit their needs if he does."

Magnus looked intently at Alex as he considered debating that. Atlas felt like he deserved that life sentence because of what he'd done to Annabeth and Zoe, but the cruelty of his punishment came with no end in sight. It didn't feel right for these all-powerful beings to smite out immortal punishments that lasted longer than a lifetime.

Nico kept reading, and Magnus didn't get into it right now because he was still an atheist at heart, and had a great distaste of any 'justice system'. These gods were mighty but flawed beings to him, but it was an endless debate that had no resolution they should have to have someone to be accountable to.

The night was quiet except for the gurgle of the fountains and waves lapping on the shore. It took me a long time to realize what she was saying.

"Me?" I asked.

"If you could see your face." She suppressed a smile, though her eyes were still teary. "Of course, you."

The brief laugh that echoed around the room fell on deaf ears to Percy. He felt like he was still processing her warm brown eyes and the smile on her face for the first time. She was the kind of girl he bet his mom would have wanted him to settle down with, a nice normal girl who would garden with him all day and never flee a school on fire with him. The kind of girl who wouldn't have to hide her knife from Paul Blofis and have to explain why she might be on the run from some monsters.

His mom loved Annabeth, Sally Jackson had always nurtured his creative side and had never ordered him around, but this was the girl his mom would have wanted him to pick, he was sure of it.

And he wouldn't have agreed with her.

"That's why you've been pulling away all this time?"

"I tried very hard. But I can't help it. The Fates are cruel. They sent you to me, my brave one, knowing that you would break my heart."

"But...I'm just...I mean, I'm just me."

"And what's so wrong with that Percy?" Thalia chuckled with a glint in her eyes that spelled trouble. "It seems more than enough to get you by."

Panic shot through him as he thought Thalia was talking about herself for a moment, before her eyes darted to Nico and he laughed supremely awkwardly. He had no idea if Annabeth still loved him outside of a single memory he had of her that seemed to get more wildly out of context the more this went on. Nico had apparently fallen in love with him at some point too?! He even felt like he was still missing the obvious in someone. Now Calypso...Holy Poseidon, Thalia wasn't wrong, and he felt a tiny kernel of panic if Aphrodite really had placed some kind of curse on him.

"That is enough," Calypso promised. "I told myself I would not even speak of this. I would let you go without even offering. But I can't. I suppose the Fates knew that, too. You could stay with me, Percy. I'm afraid that is the only way you could help me."

I stared at the horizon. The first red streaks of dawn were lightening the sky. I could stay here forever, disappear from the earth. I could live with Calypso, with invisible servants tending to my every need. We could grow flowers in the garden and talk to songbirds and walk on the beach under perfect blue skies. No war. No prophecy. No more taking sides.

The truth was Percy could see how easy it would be to fall for someone like Calypso. Annabeth didn't need him, she was a better hero than him in nearly every way. She would probably figure out a way to convince Luke he was being stupid and stop being evil and this prophecy nonsense would be put off for another thousand years or so.

Calypso thought he was funny. She'd been alone for a really long time and needed help. He bet she'd help him build an awesome skate park and he could sit around all day doing things he'd always wanted to, like learn to play guitar and get an unbeatable high score. It wasn't so much that he wouldn't do it.

"I can't," I told her.

He couldn't spend his time waking up every day in a garden, blissfully happy. He couldn't sit around learning to weave and cook beef stew. He could not step away from his prophecy, his friends who needed him, no matter how much Calypso did too.

She looked down sadly.

"I would never do anything to hurt you," I said, "but my friends need me. I know how to help them now. I have to get back."

She picked a flower from her garden—a sprig of silver moonlace. Its glow faded as the sunrise came up. Daybreak is a good time for decisions, Hephaestus had said. Calypso tucked the flower into my T-shirt pocket.

Nico studied the book in surprise. He'd always greatly wondered why Percy had been rooting around and dumping his canteen in that flower box when he'd shown up. It had felt like a warding off gesture to him, considering how much Nico detested plants and Percy must have somehow known this. Instead, he now understood, it was just a very, very sad reminder at the hint of white that had sprouted up.

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed me on the forehead, like a blessing.

"Then come to the beach, my hero. And we will send you on your way."

It would have been easier if she'd argued with him. If she'd begged him to stay and cursed him and the gods out for doing this to her again and thrown a fit, ripping up her precious plants.

She was so kind. She'd accepted her life was just going to be like this, and endless cycle of heartache. She accepted her inevitable defeat.

It was that part of her that he knew he would never be happy with.

The raft was a ten-foot square of logs lashed together with a pole for a mast and a simple white linen sail. It didn't look like it would be very seaworthy, or lakeworthy.

"This will take you wherever you desire," Calypso promised. "It is quite safe."

I took her hand, but she let it slip out of mine.

"Maybe I can visit you," I said.

She shook her head. "No man ever finds Ogygia twice, Percy. When you leave, I will never see you again."

Some god owed him for this. Losing his memory, being trapped in this room. Reliving each and every moment of his past as raw and painful as ever.

He didn't know how, he didn't when, but he knew he would not let this be the case. It was a gut feeling. He would see her again.

"But—"

"Go, please." Her voice broke. "The Fates are cruel, Percy. Just remember me." Then a little trace of her smile returned. "Plant a garden in Manhattan for me, will you?"

"I promise." I stepped onto the raft. Immediately it began to sail from the shore.

Alex had never been to Manhattan, but he was pretty confident they had a plant conservatory garden, and he pretended he couldn't hear Percy's ragged breath for a moment as he instead vividly imagined security chasing Percy with pitchforks and trowels for trying to plant something.

As I sailed onto the lake I realized the Fates really were cruel. They sent Calypso someone she couldn't help but love. But it worked both ways. For the rest of my life I would always be thinking about her. She would always be my biggest what if.

"One even the Fates might not know," Thalia murmured gently. Not even the Titan's had been able to outsmart them. Percy had been the child of the Prophecy. Somehow, some way, he was always going to fulfill that role.

Did that mean there were paths even they couldn't see? A tapestry even they couldn't make? A world beyond the oldest beings?

Within minutes the island of Ogygia was lost in the mist. I was sailing alone over the water toward the sunrise.

Then I told the raft what to do. I said the only place I could think of, because I needed comfort and friends.

"Camp Half-Blood," I said. "Sail me home."

Alex couldn't help but break the tension like a firecracker. "What if you asked to go back to your mom's apartment? Would you appear in the bathtub?"

Percy laughed at this guys never ending sporadicness. It was genuine, but still a little sad as he watched Nico pass the book to Will.

He had somehow been taken out of time over four times in his life already. His life, his choices kept speeding past and around him, colliding with everyone around him whether he wanted them to or not. He could never have stayed on Ogygia anymore than he would willingly stay in this room...but somehow a part of him felt so disconnected from his own future as he floated out on that raft he couldn't begin to guess what came next.

PJOPJOPJO

This was a very big revelation chapter for little kid me. One of the very first instances of showing another point of view.

Reading this chapter, making me realize that Percy was not fighting for the 'right side', but the side his family was on. It wasn't just an obvious choice for good and evil anymore, it was the obligation of family vs duty, the first story this concept was ever introduced to me, and I'll always remember Calypso for that.

I will never understand people who hate Calypso for turning into a shrew by the time Leo comes around. This girl has been dealing with her curse longer than you can conceive of a timeframe, she's earned the right to be pissed and not nice anymore. She was at peace with it for as long as she could be, until she just couldn't handle it anymore. Can you imagine if a god popped in and delivered the news that Kronos was defeated once more and all the gods were now supposed to be taking more responsibility for their kids, and maybe even let slip that she should be let out of her punishment, and they just, didn't?

I imagine it being Demeter or something, all a flutter with excitement for all these new developments and then dropping this bomb, getting distracted by Calypso's beautiful begonias, and then cheesing it leaving Calypso in an understandably bitter future with her curse.

[living-d3ad-gh0ul]

Tuesday 16th May 2023, 06.17am

I'm sorry it's been a little while since I've wrote anything. I know it's not been *that* long but.. it's been longer than I wanted it to be. I was just really busy getting ready to start my new job and um.. last week some really awful things happened.

My dad is really sick. He's in hospital right now and he lives down in England (he moved there to be with my stepmum, unfortunately she passed away 9 years ago but he's never came back because I think he feels closer to her down there. He loved her so much. As did I). So it's really difficult for me right now because I can't get there to be with him right now. And he's all alone and things are really bad. I'm going to explain a little now and I am really really sorry, I know this is all going to be heavy and really hard to hear, but.. I know I should talk about it.

Last week on Tuesday (9th May), I got a phone call from the lady who owns/looks after the retirement complex my dad lives at. She'd told me that my dad had had a bad fall and was in hospital, she couldn't get any information because shes not next of kin so she was letting me know so I could call them and find out what's going on. She'd told me he'd been not really being himself, repeating himself a lot and just generally having a slight personality change as well as some confusion and stuff. She also said he'd been complaining about having a sore shoulder and that he couldn't sleep very well, so she'd been trying to urge him to go to the doctor. But my dad being my dad, said "nah I'm fine, I don't need a doctor" because he's an idiot lol (I say that with love though).

So.. I call the hospital and they tell me he's there but I'm not next of kin. It's still down as my stepmum. Which means he's not seen a doctor in 9 years since she passed away. So the doctor said he'd have to ask my dad for permission to disclose information to me and call me back. A couple hours later, he calls me back, says my dad's given permission and I'm now changed as next of kin, great, fantastic. But then he goes on to tell me that they've done a CT scan and unfortunately, there is a mass in my dad's brain on the right side and this is what has caused his fall. He has left side weakness in his arm and leg and he can't stand or walk and he also had some visual disturbances in the left side also. So I immediately panic and start asking a bunch of questions that this doctor can't answer, he's not a neurosurgeon or anything but he tells me that the neuro doctors would be over to see him as soon as they can and that my dad would be admitted to hospital because it wouldn't be safe to allow him to go home especially if he's living alone, just incase he has another fall and really hurts himself. I agree with this and say that's probably the best course of action, keep him safe until we know more about this mass on his brain and can figure out how to keep him safe and what our options are.

I then get another call from the lady who looks after my dad's apartment complex. She tells me she's spoke to my dad's friend and neighbour... And apparently he lost the fucking feeling in his left arm A FUCKING MONTH AGO. And he didn't tell a soul. He didn't tell me or anyone at all, except his friend, who he swore to secrecy (his friend feels bad now and realises he should have said something, the guy had actually been trying to convince my dad to go to the doctor, but my dad kept refusing). We then find out he's had a couple smaller scale falls to which his friend has picked him up from and that he'd had to help him get dressed one day and do up his boots (my dad's a biker, he lives in bike boots, jeans and leather jackets, always has done lol). Then I'm told he's said he's selling his BIKE. Which is a very fucking big thing for my dad. He has a beautiful Harley Davidson, like.. this thing is his dream bike and he'd always said that. For as long as I can remember too, my dad's always had a bike. Even before I was born actually, since he was old enough to ride motorcycles he's always had one.

I ended up getting to speak to my dad and he was very confused and forgetful, but he was trying to hide it, I could tell right away. I asked him about all this and he said "Oh yeah.. yeah.. that happened" and I was just like why didnt you bloody say anything and he was just like "I just thought it'd go away, didn't think it was anything to worry about". But I think he did know, I think he was just scared. And you know what, in a way I don't blame him, because I'd be fucking terrified too if it were me and I was experiencing all of that. My dad's also from that generation of "if your arm isn't hanging off, you don't need a doctor" and I tried explaining to him that losing the feeling in your arm is a big fucking deal and needs to be seen to right away, no matter what. He agreed and apologised and I told him I wasn't mad at him, I was just worried because of what they'd found. He hadn't even remembered that, even though they'd just told him a couple hours before.

So he's admitted and they do more CT scans and an MRI, he gets sent up to a ward and he's just being his usual self, just a bit more confused and forgetful, which is fine, we can deal with that, I'm just glad hes okay and getting help at this point. We get told we may have to wait a couple days for the neurosurgeon to see him, because they have to discuss his case and look at all his scans and notes etc. So for a couple days it was just no change, my dad was in the hospital, he'd been given some steroid meds to help with swelling around the mass, it seemed to help a bit which was good. Friday last week (12th May), I got a call and it was a specialist brain tumour nurse and the neurosurgeon, as well as my dad there too. I should mention too that my dad kept telling me not to come down, to stay here cause he knew I was starting my new job and he wanted me to just get started with it and get going etc. So that's why I'm not there right now. But anyway.. so I'm on a call with all three of them while the neurosurgeon is assessing my dad, asking him to grab his hand and squeeze and do some other stuff and just like.. checking him over. He and the nurse asked lots of questions to both of us, getting basically all the information that they can. We get to a point where the specialist nurse was just asking me how I was coping and stuff while the doctor was doing some more physical things with my dad. They both kept me really in the loop about everything, telling me everything they were doing or looking at and just really making sure I was a part of it all too, which I was really grateful for.

Then came the bad news. Unfortunately, the tumour is quite large. It's in 4 different parts of his brain, his temporal and parietal lobes, his corpus callosum (which is in the middle of your brain) and his hippocampus (which is also quite deep in the brain). They also said it's looking to be either a grade 3 or grade 4 malignant tumour. Which means cancerous and rapid growing, the worst kind. We both got quite upset, me and my dad, and the nurse and doctor did their best to try and give us a minute. He just kept telling me he loved me and that he remembers us going through all this with my stepmum so we knew what would come. We then went on to discuss treatment etc. My dad consented to a biopsy and we would find out exactly what we were dealing with before we decided on a path of treatment. Whether that meant radiotherapy, chemotherapy, other cancer drugs, whatever. My dad and I both said we wanted to do whatever it took to make him well again and the surgeon and the nurse both agreed. My dad signed all the forms and they said they'd be in touch soon to let us know when the biopsy would be.

I'm sorry this is getting really long but.. there's just a lot to it. I really really am sorry and I know this is all heavy, I'm sorry if I'm upsetting you at all E, thats the last thing I want. I know you're sick too and I know you may not want to hear all this, so I really don't blame you if you can't read any more. Or even just don't want to. That's okay. I'll understand. Over the weekend, dad was fine. A little more forgetful, asking me about things he'd just asked or said 5 minutes before. I just told him gently that we'd already talked about it and reminded him and he eventually caught up with it. I had to do that a couple times but it was fine. I don't mind if I have to do that and remind him a lot, I just want him to get better. The lady from his apartment complex went to see him on Saturday and took him some books and other stuff I'd ordered on Amazon for him over to him and one of my uncles was down in York (which is a couple hours away from my dad in Nottingham) and popped down to see him on Sunday. He took him some things like clothes and essentials and he said my dad seemed in good spirits, which I was pleased about. We even got selfies and pictures of them all, which I was really happy with. I spoke to my dad on the phone (I actually had got him a new phone and just sent it down yesterday, because his phone is old and starting to break and I wanted to make sure he had a working phone) and we were talking away, absolutely fine. He got a little emotional at one point and was telling me I'm the centre of his world and that nothing else matters in the world but me and stuff and I got really upset, but I told him I'd come see him soon and I'd planned on coming down to be with him for a week or so, as long as my work approved me to do so (I work remotely, so I didn't see it being an issue but wanted to check first). He said that would be fine and he couldnt wait to see me and that he wanted to buy me a new leather jacket so I would look, and I quote, "cool as fuck just like him" lol. I said we'd see, we needed to get him better first. He said he was getting tired and I said to go rest, it was like 9pm anyway and he needed to sleep, I also had to get ready for starting work. We said we loved each other and I said I'd phone him in the morning again before I started work. That was the last time I spoke to him.

I'd tried calling him in the morning but he didn't answer. I figured he was maybe just still asleep or maybe getting ready or having breakfast. So I thought nothing of it and texted him at my break, just so he knew I was thinking of him. It got to lunch and I still hadn't heard anything. I checked WhatsApp and he had last been on at 22.45 the night before, I started wondering if maybe his phone was broke.. but then how could I still call it? So that's when I worried. I tried calling the ward he was on and no one answered me. I tried like 3 fucking times and got no answer, so I was panicking. Thankfully, by some coincidence, the neuro specialist nurse contacted me, she called me just as I got off from trying to ring the ward. She had wanted to call me because she had some news for me. My dad had unfortunately deteriorated overnight. He'd been very drowsy and sleepy yesterday morning, they could wake/rouse him but he wasn't as responsive as he was the day before. They bumped his steroid meds all the way back up (they'd started to wean him off them to see if they could find a good dose for him without giving him too much) and put him on anti-seizure medication. They haven't confirmed that he's had a seizure but this is a worry. They have also done another CT of his head and they are concerned that the tumour has grown. They said they can't tell if it's just swelling or if it's tumour growth. Hearing all of this I was fucking devastated. After talking to him the night before and being all.. you know kind of normal.. to this. So now, we are in a bit of limbo at the moment, all we can do is watch and wait to see what happens. There is no guarantee any of this is reversible too. So we just have to wait and see.. the biopsy and talks of treatment etc is all on hold until we see what happens here and if he responds to the meds he's been put on. I've still had no update from that at 1pm yesterday and it's now 7am the next morning. So I'm going to be calling them before I start work at 9am, try and see how he is, if he's awake or still sleepy. They said he's in a semi concious state, in and out of sleep a lot. And not staying awake for very long when he is awake.

I'm fucking terrified, E. I'm so scared. I don't want to lose my dad. I don't have any siblings on my dads side, both his parents are gone, his wife is gone. Yes, he has his brothers (my uncles) and my cousin's but.. they've never been close. I'm all he has and I feel terrible about not being down there. But I'm going down on Friday as soon as I finish work. One of my friends and her partner are gonna drive me down there, which I'm so so fucking thankful for. I spoke to my job and they're absolutely fine with me working from down there and completely understand the circumstances. I felt terrible telling them all of this on my first day, but they've been really supportive so far honestly. I'm truly grateful.

So the next couple of days is going to be filled with working, packing to go down and trying to check on dad and hoping the medication works and he comes around a bit more. I'm really trying to remain positive and hope for the best, hope that maybe I'll get there and he'll hear my voice and know it's me and maybe that will help. And even if he's not concious or able to really communicate with me, I'm still going to be there and talk to him and stuff, because there's nothing to say he can't still hear me and wouldn't still be comforted to know I'm there. I just... I really fucking need a hug right now. And I kind of wish you were here to give me that hug. Maybe even let me have a good cry while you hug me. If that'd be okay.

I read your post, of course. I'm glad you're back home and that you're settled in. Your cat.. sounds amazing. She sounds so cute and playful and I really really love the sound of her. I bet she is absolutely adorable too. I miss having cats honestly. And I'm really glad your cat has been helping you feel better, even if it's only in her little small way. I bet I would love her, I really do. Whatever these ideas are that you have for being creative? I say go for it. You'll do amazing at anything, I just know you will, because it's you and you are amazing. You can really do anything if you put your mind to it, E. I really believe that. You are talented and creative and smart and I really think you could do it. So I say go for it. What's the worst that could happen? Yeah it might not be an instant money maker, but you never know.. in time it could become something that you really enjoy and make a great career out of. Who knows? You can always try, my love.

I'm really glad that you enjoyed your gig and that you did well. That's amazing that someone said that to you but you know what? I'm not surprised, because you absolutely are that talented and that amazing at playing. You always have been. And yeah I might be slightly biased but.. even if I wasn't, I'd say the same thing. And you even have someone else saying it, a complete stranger too. So believe it, because you are great. I know what it's like though, I struggle with taking compliments myself so I totally get it. I'm really glad that I can help, even if it is just through our letters to each other from afar. I really am glad that my words can give you some peace and can have some kind of positive affect on you. Honestly, that's all I want. I want to help, even if only in a small way. I'll be honest, right now? I just wish I could curl up with you and just.. kinda be. If that makes sense.

This post is huge. I'm so so sorry. I just.. wanted to explain everything since I'm kinda really going through it right now. I start work in a couple hours, so I'm gonna try and have some breakfast, make a coffee, call the hospital and check on dad. I may even go outside a bit, because it's getting warmer here now too and I really like it. It was 18c the other day and honestly it was glorious. I know that might not seem hot, but that's like.. my perfect temperature. And the sky was really pretty at sunset that night too. I really really hope this post wasn't all too much. And I really really hope to hear from you soon. I've missed you. A lot. And I could really use some support myself right now. I really can't wait to hear from you again. And hopefully I'll have some good news for you next time.

I'm so sorry everything was so negative this time around. I hope you're doing well and that you're feeling better, I really really do.. because I care about you too. And I think about you all the time. I even had a very lovely dream about you a couple weeks ago.. I remember waking up and being really happy, but being sad cause I wanted to go back.. you'd have liked it there too.

I'll talk to you soon, E. I'm sending you lots of love. As always.

N x

"How the faces of love have changed turning the pages

And I have changed oh, but you, you remain ageless"

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Dark Prophecy: Chapter 19 (SPOILERS)

"You cannot commit murder. Any death you cause is the will of the gods and entirely beyond reproach." That's an... interesting take on things. I never thought of that before, but from a mortal's perspective, that might be the case. However, we are judging the PJO gods as people, and thus murder on their part is still murder.

"It's true I had laid waste to whole cities with my fiery arrows. I had inflicted countless plagues upon humanity." Yeah, I think individual murders are the least of your crimes and maybe these acts of mass destruction should be what you're repenting for instead. I guess the latter could be connected to the plague spirits and how some disease has to be let loose to keep them in check, but the "burning down whole cities" thing is still unnecessary. "Once Artemis and I slew a family of twelve because their mama said something bad about our mama." I know that myth. Queen Niobe. During a ceremony honoring Leto, she bragged that she shouldn't have to partake because she was superior, having seven sons and seven daughters (sometimes six of each, it varies). And then Artemis and Apollo killed all her children. And the dad either killed himself or was killed by Apollo. And then Niobe turned to stone. The end. This is vaguely linked to the seven girls and seven boys that were annually sent as sacrifices to the Minotaur. Anyway, this is still a tragedy and unbelievably petty, but still pales in comparison to all the other stuff Apollo and Artemis have done. Mostly Apollo, 'cause I haven't heard about Artemis causing too many natural disasters (though I'm pretty sure she sent a giant boar to trample a city once, don't quote me).

"None of that did I consider murder." You... you sure about that? Okay, the burning cities and plagues are just you carrying out your duties as the harbinger of natural disasters, but Niobe's family isn't murder? That was definitely murder.

"I was Narcissus, Caesar's trusted personal trainer." Eh? Same Narcissus as the reflection guy? I didn't know he was employed! So he must've been a trainer before he got cursed. If this is just another dude who just happens to be named Narcissus, I'm gonna sound real stupid... Nah, this is a valid question.

"We can take him" Oh no, so that's why what Meg said sent him spiraling.

"considering his mistress and prefect had poisoned his wine at lunch." Lmao is everyone around him just trying to kill him dead? Lemme guess: he grew paranoid when there wasn't any reason to be and then the violence from that paranoia became a self-fulfilling prophecy so people actually started trying to kill him because of how horrible he was and now the paranoia comes from actual danger.

Okay, I realized something last night: Commodus's character art kind of makes him look like the type of shady love interest you'd find in books/movies like 365 Days that, despite his violence and paranoia and lack of respect for boundaries, the leading lady will inevitably irrationally fall for, doesn't he? (This has nothing to do with the actual character; it's just what the character art reminds me of.)

"Not that he knew my true identity" Why doesn't Apollo visit him as himself?

"I'm done thinking about consequences!" He's done? Did he ever start thinking about the consequences to begin with?

"Then I closed my hands around his neck. 'I'm sorry.'" So what's it gonna be: drowning, strangulation, or snapped neck? How did Commodus get the chance to become a god if he died here? Are all the Triumvirate emperors escaped souls?

"You. Blessed. Me." Fuuuuuuuuck.

"I simply couldn't look at the surface of any pool without imagining Commodus's face, stung with betrayal, staring up at me." So, as a god, do you just keep accumulating regrets forever until you can't look at anything without remembering some horrible deed you did? 'Cause that sounds absolutely comical.

"WE CANNOT REMAIN." We cannot remain at the Waystation? It's not safe?

"his carotid pulse" CAROTID (n.): each of the two main arteries that carry blood to the head and neck / (adj.): relating to or denoting the two main arteries which carry blood to the head and neck, and their two main branches

"Was there anyone I hadn't betrayed and disappointed? Any relationship I hadn't destroyed?" No. Sorry, did that come out harsh? I'm sure there's at least, like, one singular-- no, probably not.

"I was Al's . . . liaison to the African American bootleggers." Again, how old was she when she joined the Hunters?

"I have no idea what that means." For a god of poetry, Apollo sure does let a lot of metaphors go over his head. I wonder if losing his powers somehow affected his reading/listening comprehension.

[iwanttobeseenalive]

8/6/2023 - From me

Killing myself seems more and more appealing every day. I don't want to do this to "make everyone's lives easier" or because "I don't think I deserve to live". It's not the same feelings as before. I think I'm a different person then I was when I wanted to kill myself before.

And I don't mean that in the way that people say "Oh I'm not the same person I was when I was a kid." I mean it literally. I'm a different person. That would explain the poor memory from before I was me. I killed whoever was in charge before me. Or at least shoved her down deep. Just like I did to the first one. The emotional little girl that I killed because she was too sensitive. Too weak. Too annoying.

Now there's me. I have different motivations for wanting to kill myself. A different pain that somehow hurts so much worse but at the same time is so dull. My reasons this time are purely selfish. I'm just so fucking tired. Being alive is so fucking exhausting and it's not worth it.

I feel so worthless. Unwanted. Unloved. Unlike before, I can admit there are people who would miss me. But what I want is not sympathy. Not obligation. Not flimsy attachments. I want to be loved. Pure and simple. All of me. I want someone to see all my little quirks, all my stupid mistakes, all my darkest thoughts, all my pain, and love me anyway.

I want to be held like I'm precious. Not for their perverted self righteousness or self gratification, but because they want to hold me. Because they see me as worthy of that love. I want it so badly. To be held firmly and touched gently and kissed softly. To be admired like I'm worth something. Not to please themselves, but because they think I deserve that.

It hurts so badly. It feels like my very veins scream for it from within me. Begging for that love. That love that I don't feel like I've ever earnestly gotten. There's always been strings attached. Family doesn't count. My parents, as Christians, are obligated to love me. Care for me. Etc. My sister has already shown her hatred for me. ██████ can't give, no, shouldn't give me that love I'm craving. That would be emotional incest on my part. That's not his job. He's my little brother.

"What about ████?" I can't do this to him. I just can't. I think he's already sick of me. He seems adverse to touching me in front of others. My guess is since ████ makes fun of me, ████ doesn't like to act like my boyfriend when Noah is around. (Nah. Even in another fucking country he stills wants nothing to do with you. Kill yourself. 9/16/2023) I think he's embarrassed of me. It hurts. Really bad. ████'s teasing and how ████ does nothing to stop it. Besides avoiding me, I mean. But it's not like I can complain. I tease ████ and ████ sometimes too. I also understand where ████s coming from. He probably regrets dating me. I'm disgusting.

I've ran through all the times I've fucked up around him a hundred times. I do this so often I get sick just thinking about thinking about it. I feel like I've failed him. I feel like I've embarrassed him and made him uncomfortable. He doesn't seem to want to text me or anything. He told me he couldn't text while in Korea and yet has been keeping up his snap score with ███. I hate being jealous. I don't deserve to be. I'm lucky he even agreed to date me.

I am not a big factor in his life. I am not someone he often thinks about. I am not someone he'd go out of his way for. I am not his priority. It's obvious. And it hurts. But I don't deserve any of those titles. Those titles are for those who are loved. And I am not. And I don't think I ever will be. Not in the way my very soul craves. Not by anyone human, at least. Basically, ████ deserves better, and I think he finally realized that.

Not to mention how fucked up I am. He doesn't deserve to have someone with a broken heart and mind. I don't think he fully understands the extent of my anxiety or how it affects every facet of my life. I'm not sure if he'd want to stick around if he did. Heck, I'm not even sure he wants to stick around now. (He doesn't. I don't know how you ever thought anyone would. 9/16/2023)(He didn't lmao. Dumped yo ass. 2/15/2024)

He told me to seek professional help. I probably should. Or at least say something about this to someone. But where do I even begin? Most of my fears are probably irrational. And even if they are, the burden I feel is still there. The appeal of taking my own life is still there. I don't know where to go from here. Marriage? In my dreams. College? I don't care. Career? Not sure and don't really care anymore. The future? Not sure I'll see it.

I'm just really tired. I don't feel the foreboding 'Death before 16" thing anymore. But thing is, I wish I did. I want to die. I'm so tired. So, so tired.

[ffsg0jo]

tags won't let me say what i wanna say so my thoughts are under the cut i love this so so much fr fr

honestly reader's inner monologue makes me want to give her the biggest hug ever

FIANCE OMG OMG OMG BAKUDEKU???????? AND HES SOUTHERN??????

"usually won't do anything until you're here" - oh ..... my delusional ass is having a field day

oh shit. OH SHITTTTT NOOO NOT DENKI NOOOOOOOOOOO GODDDD SAVE HIM nah cos the way my stomach dropped i feel sick

also iida doing law makes so much sense

noo because its her birthday. why can't she have one good day, just one day where nothing goes wrong. i stg ill fight for reader ill lay my life down for

going to cry for reader i really hope she pulls it off

also why am i lowkey imagining toshi with a darth vader voice lmaoooo i love this fic so so much i wanna live and breathe this

"his warm voice is almost paternal" brb gonna scream is this what a father figure feels like 🥲

"fate has linked you to a man that will inevitably break your heart over and over again" this is so poetic im literally tearing up. being in a toxic relationship im sure reader has her flaws too but she deserves to be loved properly and by someone who cares

“If you have a problem with the way I run my department,” Aizawa seethes. “At least have the balls to say it to my face.”  - well shit can't even focus on how fine he looks

okay i think he's being a little harsh. sure its not nice to be undermined, but you dont need to belittle her and make her cry. damn aizawa. at least he somewhat regrets it?? nah but no ones allowed to make my girl cry 🥊💥💥

Fucking astrology. Fucking Aizawa. Fucking work. Fucking Touya. Fucking turning thirty. - hear hear bestie im right with you fuck everyone fr frrr

why am i sobbing rn im literally crying and so emotional over this fic, i feel reader in my soul and i wanna hug her so bad. her insecurities, her thoughts and feelings, everything's just so relatable and even though im not 30 i can somewhat relate to the way she's feeling. bless her

her focusing on the heels going from something positive and the way touya says it makes her look beautiful to her hating them and how they look cheap - mint every single detail about this is perfect and i love it its beautiful. the fixation on the shoes is so real

hizashi is such a real one i love you so much hizashi

this fic already has me so invested in it. im trying not to read it all in one go, but i just can't stop myself. it's so good, and i love it so much. not only is the writing amazing, but the storyline and the characters have me emotionally invested too. im lowkey scared for the ending because i have a feeling it will NOT be happy, but im also so so excited to read the rest of it !!

Inevitable Things: chapter two

aizawa x reader fic

cw: aizawa x reader, cisfem reader, office AU, no quirks. no porn in first two chapters, sorry gang :)

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When you arrive at 8:35, all of the lights in the building are already on, a warm, yellow hued light against the stormy sky. The exterior almost melts into the overcast; it makes you think of that ‘bye-bye blue' that Disney coined for its buildings, only much more depressing. Sometimes you look at this build and think about the hours of your life that it’s stolen, but not today. No, for once, you decide to have a good day. 

It’s your birthday, after all.

The dash across the parking lot is a bit wobbly, your heels catching the gravel and potholes. Mic had texted you last night to remind you to wear something special, since he and a couple other office friends were taking you out, so you had dawned the only pair of heels you actually liked: a red pair you found at a thrift shop years ago. The stilettos are a bit high and much too sexy for your taste, but there’s an unknowable something about them that you love. 

You did, however, forget your umbrella.

One of the interns is by the door, jacket pulled over his head to protect himself and his cigarette from the rain. Izuku, chubby cheeked and doe eyed, is shorter than most of his peers, with thick green curls that puff up and frizz in the humidity. For his stature, he’s surprisingly built; he and his boyfriend -no, fiance now- go to the gym together every morning and the hard work shows. You can’t help but notice the curve of bicep that flexes as he moves his arm back to his face.

“Good morning!” you call out. The weather is cool, so you wrap both hands around your special little birthday latte. Izuku seems unphased by the weather; he sniffles a bit as he pulls another drag, freckled nose wrinkling. The red stained rims of his eyes are stark against his tan skin. 

“Yeah.” He sucks in a breath, trying to keep his voice light and failing. His Southern draw sits heavy on his tongue. “Not quite.”

“Oh no, what happened?” Rain drives a shiver up your spine and so does the look in his eyes.

 “Like, okay, it was so-” He takes another thick pull and exhales it too quickly, coughing a bit as he talks. His ideas come faster than his mouth can handle. “First thing this morning-- well, actually, Ka-chan and I got here before anybody, so it wasn’t, like, first thing-first thing, you know? Anyway, like- thirty minutes after the first thing, when Mr. Aizawa arrived, he like, didn’t even set his stuff down before he told me to get into the conference room, which is crazy because he usually won’t do anything until you’re here and-”

“Izuku, focus.”

“I am focused-- these are important details! Mr. Aizawa pulled me into a conference room this morning and reamed me out. Incompetent: he called me lazy and incompetent, which is crazy because I do so much in this department! You wouldn’t believe it! And you know what Ka did? Laughed. He could hear it from the cubicle and he laughed, isn’t that awful? We’re getting married and yet he thinks it's okay to laugh at my misfortun-?”

“Wait, slow down,” you say. “Why were you yelled at?”

Izuku takes a dramatic gulp of air to slow himself, but it clearly does nothing. His finger twiddle the cigarette back and forth, ash falling to the puddle at his feet.. “He told me the work I turned in yesterday wasn't acceptable.”

It couldn't be the things you did. There’s no way; you’re smart -- well, okay, maybe not. You’re competent at least-- competent enough that you’ve done the reports previously without any complaints. 

“No.”

“It's my fault.” Izuku continues. His accent gets thicker when it’s holding worry, clipping words and rounding out other sounds. “I should have finished them myself, but Denki offered to help me out-- and I had a meeting with the wedding planner yesterday so I had to leave early; if i was late again I would have upset Mitsuki and I couldn’t upset Mitsuki again because she’s intense, like, way more intense that Katsuki ever is, so I’m a little terrified of her-”

Fuck. You can’t listen- you’re trying to focus on keeping your breakfast down. That was your work. You’re the one that made Izuku and Denki look bad.

“-Biomedical engineering. Why did I pick biomedical engineering? I should have chosen law school like Iida. That would have been a better career path.”

“What about Denki?” You interrupt his rambling and he seems to snap out of his panic loop. For once, he’s quiet. “What about Denki, Izuku?”

“Oh.” Izuku says. “Yeah. Well.”

He places the cigarette between his teeth and goes to suck, only to realize he’s hit the filter. With a tsk, he smashes the embers against the concrete side of the building, but doesn’t drop the butt, instead holding it in his palm. A trickle of rain runs down your cheek, just enough to make you shiver.

“Allegedly,” Now, he speaks too slowly, chewing on every word. “HR is working on his off boarding.”

Your body forgets how to breathe. The interns are all part of a specific college program- if they aren’t working, they don’t get credit towards their summer graduation. Because of you, Denki will not be graduating this spring-- in fact, he’s going to have to wait another full school year until he can apply for graduating again. Your head is spinning from the lack of oxygen and you have to manually force yourself to suck in a breath.

“He’s fired?” you ask, stupidly. 

“I’m not surprised, to be honest.” Izuku says. His pretty little curls are flattened now, heavy with wet. “This was his fifth big mistake and Mr. Aizawa is, well… he’s Mr. Aizawa. He doesn’t pull any punches.”  

“Oh, geez.” You want to barf. “Oh, no, oh, geez.” 

You’re ruining someone's life. One mistake and  you’ve fucked everything up. Tears prickle hot behind your eyes as you think; what are your options here? You can’t just let this happen. Your job is to fix things-- that’s the only thing you’re good for. Discussing this with Aizawa would be a dead end; he’d probably just fire you too. You need to go above him. 

“I’ll fix this,” you say, mostly to reassure yourself. You turn on your heel and march inside, a plan already forming in your mind. “Don’t worry.”

“Fix what?” Izuku calls after you. “Denki getting fired?”

You flash the security officer your badge, not bothering to turn around. There’s no time for that. The head of HR is usually punctual, so you only have a couple minutes before he arrives and sees the termination paperwork. It’ll take time to process, of course, but you’d rather fix this before it’s even reached that point.  You scramble to your desk and don’t bother to sit down before you’re picking up your phone and dialing. The number is posted on a little sticky note, right under ‘emergencies only’ written in big red letters. This… counts, right? This is an emergency in its own regard.

The line rings once, then twice. Then, it clicks. 

“Good morning.” The voice on the other side is unusually smooth, a clear timbre despite it all. In between words he takes long, drawing breaths, pulling through his nasal cannula. “Is my company? On fire?”

You laugh at that and you aren’t sure why. Maybe it’s the trill of fear in your gut, burrowing its way out anyway it can. “Good morning, sir. No, the building is still standing, luckily.”

“Please,"  he says, and you understand immediately.

“Yagi.” The informality of it all feels weird, even after all this time. He's the CEO and he wants you to address him like a friend. It’s been that way since you first started, but it still feels undeserved. “How are you?”

“I’m well.” Behind him you can hear the mumble of the television: a children’s show, you think. “My niece is visiting. So, I’ve been. Spending a lot of time. By the pond, feeding the ducks.”

He mentioned once that he had wanted children, but the company had taken up too much of his time. That memory makes your gut twist in a different way as you remember just how finite his time really is. 

“That sounds lovely.”

“It is lovely.” He pauses. Then, clears his throat. “Not that I’m. Not happy to hear from you, but… why are you calling?”

“Well, I-” You’re not sure where to start. You shift your weight from one foot to the other, swaying like you have to pee. “I made a mistake.”

“What kind of mistake?”  

“Not a company ruining one, but…” Oh, geez. Maybe you'll end up being the one without a job today.  “I finalized some work for the engineering department interns and it wasn’t up to standard. And the manager-”

“-Shouta?”

 “Yes, uh. Aizawa. He wasn’t aware of that fact and he fired the intern for work that I did.”

There's a pause.

“Are you sure?” He sniffles a bit. You can picture how he itches his nose with the back of his hand. He hates that tube. “I know he isn’t. The warmest man, but Aizawa. Isn’t one to fire. An employee without. Apt reason. Have you tried. Speaking to him?”

You can’t. The idea of confrontation makes your skin itch. Besides, you can’t just look him in the eyes and admit you fucked up-- he’d lose his mind. 

“I just can’t let Kaminari get in trouble for my work.”

Yagi hums a low tone.

“I’ll bring it. To Shouta’s attention.” You almost jump for joy at that. “And I’ll let HR. Know.”

“Oh, thank you.” You’re physically bouncing. “I felt so guilty.”

“That’s under. Standable.” he says. “Maybe we. Have the engineers. Do their own work from now on, okay?”

“I know, I know, I just--” Can’t say no? “I like to be useful.”

“You’re more than useful.” His voice is warm, almost paternal. “I’m being told that I have an episode of Bluey to watch, so…”

“Goodbye, have fun, thank you, thank you, thank you.”

You hang up, then wait a couple beats before sighing with relief. Crisis avoided! Happy birthday to you! Maybe, against all odds, this will be a good day. 

You drop into your seat and let it spin. Your latte isn’t hot anymore, but even lukewarm it’s still pretty damn good. After it boots up, your computer notifications are alight with companies wishing you a happy day and a merry 30% off. There’s a couple of DMs from coworkers that you haven’t opened yet as well and the attention makes you glitter.You almost forget that Touya still hasn't read your messages. It's not a surprise; he always forgets your birthday. It shouldn’t upset you at this point.

The workday official starts and, for once, it’s calm. There’s time to organize your desk and check on your facebook. Maybe, just maybe, the universe has decided to be kind to you. Yagi sounded better than he usually does, if not a bit winded.

You’re thirty, but you don’t feel older. 18 feels like last week, 25 is still your friend. Being this old almost feels like a joke-- especially being this old and single, with a job you’re not passionate about. You thought, maybe, that things would be okay by now. You’d be successful, with more than a couple hundred in your checking account, and a husband that could return a fucking text. Life, of course, had other plans.

It’s not that you don’t love Touya. You do. You really do. You just wish that you didn’t. It's easier to love someone like Hizashi or a boring man from R&D, but being with him feels like running on sand as it sinks down an hourglass. You're too far gone already, too intertwined with him; fate has linked you to a man that will inevitably break your heart, over and over again.

You almost don’t notice the stomp of boots down the hallway until it’s too late. You’ve been eclipsed.

Aizawa turns the corner so quickly that you jump and spill your coffee. His brow furrowed so deeply that his ‘11’ lines have gained an extra 1, and extra wrinkles have puckered around his straight drawn mouth. When he speaks, his lips curl up in one corner in revulsion, giving you a hint of canine. Someone from marketing walks down the hall,  meets your eyes, then turns back around, fleeing it away from this situation. You wish you could do the same.

 His hands press flat against your desk. The space he takes up alone makes you wilt, drawing back into your chair. Oh, he's pissed. Beyond pissed. His hair is down for once, falling in front of his face as he talks, and his hoodie sleeves are pushed to his elbows, revealing the punched, tense muscle underneath. The finer hairs on his arms are raised up into goosebumps, standing straight like pins.

“If you have a problem with the way I run my department,” Aizawa seethes. “At least have the balls to say it to my face.” 

The air in your lungs turns icy. You’re frozen there, hands hovering above your keyboard, unsure if you should even pick up your drink. 

“On what planet is it acceptable to tattle on me to the CEO?” His voice carries down the hall as he growls at you, the low, rolling tone of his voice somehow more terrifying than actual yelling. He reminds you of a wild dog, ears pinned back and ready to bite. And you’re just the poor rabbit in his path. “And to HR? Are you fucking kidding? You’re better than this.”

Oh, this is the type of interaction you were trying to avoid. Heat flares across your cheeks as you sputter and you frantically look anywhere else to avoid the burn. “I-- uh--”

“Did the interns come crying to you again?” Aizawa continues. “Did you let them walk all over you again?”

He leans in even closer.

“You are not their mother or their friend. They are adults. With jobs. And they do not need the secretary saving them from work they are paid to do-- especially Kaminari, who regularly abuses your good faith.”

Your shoes. You focus on those. Your pretty, candy red heels with the delicate strap, the ones Touya always compliments and the ones that make you feel beautiful. 

“Calling Toshinori? May I remind you that he is actively dying? May I remind you that you are actively wasting his time with this?"

Shoes, look at your shoes.

"I also don’t have the fucking time for this. We are a business in a time crunch-- I don’t have the energy or brain power or man power to be dragging around dead weight," he says. "If I decide someone isn't fit enough to work here, they are not fit to work here. Do you understand that?”

Oh. A sudden, horrible realization hits you. All of the weeks of stress and loneliness and heartbreak and other random bullshit that’s built up in your life is hitting all at once and, despite how hard you’re trying not to, you are going to cry. Tears are prickling hot against the corners of your eyes, burning to come out, and you know there’s only second before they spill over-

“Do you understand that?”

You look up. He looks down. Your lip quivers. 

Aizawa immediately draws back, eyes widening with realization. He opens his mouth, then closes it, then opens it again, drawing in a short breath. His brows are pinched together differently now; if he was anyone else, you’d assume he was sorry. If he was anyone else, you might care.

“I didn’t mean to…” he tries.

“You’re-” You want to scream and fight and curse, but all you can say is: “I hate you.”

It’s incredibly juvenile, but saying it feels good. With all of the fury you can muster, you stand, chair bouncing back against the wall behind you, and march out of there and straight into the women’s bathroom. You hold your chin high until the door slams behind you. 

Then, you sob. It’s loud enough that you know it can be heard in the hall, wet enough that all of your make-up ends on the back of your hands, hard enough that you lose one of your contacts, but you just can’t stop. It comes in a torrent, one that doesn’t stop until you’re all blurry eyed and swollen and absolutely, positively destroyed.  

Fucking astrology. Fucking Aizawa. Fucking work. Fucking Touya. Fucking turning thirty.

Your heels look stupid against the blue and white linoleum. The faux leather no longer looks convincing, but like cheap, normal plastic. Your cellphone is still on your desk and covered in an 8 dollar latte, so there's nothing to distract you from your own downward spiral. You want to be helpful. You want to be a good person, but nothing seems to work out that way. 

By the time you manage to peel yourself out of the bathroom stall, the world has started to turn again. Someone’s at the coffee station, stirring in way too many sugars, someone else is taking on the phone just out of earshot. Aizawa is thankfully gone. You’re not sure you could have handled more of that.

Frankly, you’re not sure you can handle more of anything. You strip your other contact from your eye and throw on your only other option: the emergency glasses you have stashed in your desk. Great, as if you didn't feel bad enough already, now you feel ugly too. 

A ping comes through from HR, letting you know that you have sick time available 'if need be.’ For once, the office gossip works in your favor. You shoot off a quick reply, confirming that you're going to head out, then grab your phone. It's sticky and wet, but it still works.

do you want to leave work early and go get drunk?<-

Hizashi’s response is almost immediate.

->leave work early????? who is this and what have you done with my babygirl?????

-is that a no? ): <-

->are you kidding?????? I’ll be at your desk in 15

You are going to get drunk. Very. Very. Drunk.