#/idk why this ship brings me so much joy and comfort but it does it anyways.

[lethal-spaceship]

Art do be kinda arting I guess.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Stray Kids Dynamics (Hyujin's Perspective)

Now, to continue with this dynamic's series. I will now get to Hyujin and see how he feels about each member. Looking at these cards and I am a bit confused lol but we'll see what I get when I get to each one.

Bangchan (Page of Wands/Rest) I wonder if these two are planning a trip together to rest somewhere. Or they just think about these ideas. I feel Bangchan helps him get a bit out of his comfort zone, or he tells him to venture out somewhere to get the rest and relaxation he needs. They both have this curiosity about them. A need to explore new things, possibly together. There is also creativity here, like they could work on creative projects together. There is like a childlike wonder to both of them, like what else is out their type of energy here.

Lee Know (Page of Swords/Care) They both seems to be cautious around the other. There could be things he learns from Lee Know pertaining to knowledge, like he wants to gain knowledge from him. There is like this worry of hurting the other, maybe with words. They seem to both care for each other and tend to the other. There is just this weirdness of them not being able to freely communicate with the other. There is a curiosity to learn about the other, but they may not go deeper into knowing. A shyness and timidness on his end, or both ends here. Lee Know may also awaken his ability to learn things as well.

Changbin (Ace of Pentacles/Inspire) This seems pretty straightforward. He may inspire him to achieve a goal or opportunity he may want. Could these two be working on something together as well? They could inspire each other's work, or they help each other obtain business opportunities. I am not getting much else here, moving on.

Han (The Sun/Instinct) He may the one who brightens his day, brings joy to his life. He shines bright for him. He may see Han as a successful person. He may like his personality a lot. He may like how he goes after things and obtains the things he wants. He doesn't necessarily overthink things, he just goes after it. It is like he seems to like what he does and wishes he could emulate that energy. It is like he wishes he had that energy he has. He wants to do what he is able to do. That is what this is giving me.

Felix (The Hierophant/7 of Cups/Courage) This is weird tbh. Aren't these two a popular ship? You know what this is giving me. That the company loves these two together and uses it to fill a fantasy for fans. The Hierophant is the company card and 7 of cups is about delusions, so that is what I get from this. There are delusions about this dynamic. Also, them together, there are a lot of ideas and choices they can go with these two. Also, these two may daydream or fantasize about things together. These two together have a strong imagination. Honestly, I am confused in this energy. This is weird. This is more on Hyujin's end, because with Feliz I didn't get this confused energy. They may give each other strength to pursue things. They give each other confidence. IDK this was confusing and weird. Moving on.

Seungmin (7 of Wands/Sacred) Well, this is interesting, what is the defense here? There is a guard, a wall, a barrier, someone feels defensive, or they both do. Or maybe they both defend what is valuable to them. It could be their bond, or they are defensive of each other's sacred space. Once again, what is this, he is so confusing wtf These two may have strong differences and similarities, which is why they are defensive. It is kind of hard for them to connect, because they get too defensive when they are around each other. It is like they both like their space. Weird again.

I.N (The Moon rv/Determination) I am getting, they both seemed determined to conquer their illusions. It is like they become more awakened and enlightened together. They become stronger, less fearful together, but like why? I am confused. It is like he sees clearly when he is around him. There aren't illusions. I am done, he is too confusing for me.

This dude's energy is not my favorite. I kind of don't feel great in his energy. Going to have to meditate and get some fresh air after this. The first couple of members were fine, but I knew when I pulled the cards I was already confused, so his energy is confusing tbh. His thoughts on the maknea line were very confusing.

[dumbbitchfrommars]

im uninspired and feeling like my head is empty, because ive spent a longgg time hibernating in the safety and comfort of my own bedroom.

well a small lie - i did go out to buy groceries today. it seems were all in the same boat. its cold out! no one wants to go outside. but connection and social interaction is what brings us confidence and joy and comfort in the discomfort.

but yet somehow despite that discomfort (my anxiety about returning to the real world) i was completely fine. i was okay. because i think ive finally figured it out. i know how to take care of myself. i know how to make space in the world without feeling ashamed or guilty for it. or im learning. but im so so so much better than i was. a year ago, two years ago... etc.

ive been wondering why i thoughtlessly let myself fall into the trap of nostalgia and request an old friend that i cut off on instagram. hes probably wondering why now? and avoiding it. fair enough. im not going to rescind that decision - its done now. but still i question my logic in that moment. but thats the thing, i wasnt thinking. i was being hopeful. but either way - he doesnt owe me anything, even if we were to become reconnected i wouldnt want to reach out or make any plans together. which again begs the question of why i would even try get into contact again in the first place.

i guess i have just been feeling tired of wondering how everyone from my past is doing, and that things could and would be so chill and relaxed if id never jumped to blocking but actually calmly and slowly distanced myself. which is what i am capable of doing now - after a few years of practice.

but coming back full circle - this friend was not a true friend. my nostalgia is a rose coloured pair of glasses because i remember our friendship and bond and the fun we had and the mischief we got up to. but this person - was not a friend. he was ill intentioned and selfish, and didnt truly care for me. he disrespected me and hurt me time and time again. so no, he is not worth my energy anymore. once upon a time we were soulmates. but i changed. i grew up. we grew apart. it was natural. and for some reason... of all the people from my past i could have done it to... it was him?

to be fair i already did reach out to my ex in march. and then i changed my mind within a week or two. and then he reached out to me... isnt that crazy? the timing? the fact that god had us pass eachother by like doves in the wind or ships in the night... because despite our bond still being there - the memories, the connection, the impact we had on eachother - its not enough. it was never enough. again, i grew up, we grew apart, and it was natural.

so what does this all mean for me? my usual logic is to cut the cord and say goodbye. but my subconscious desire to love, be connected, and honour the relationships that made me the person i am today is becoming stronger and stronger. i can put aside my ego and hurt, because i healed. i let it go. it is in the past. the past stays in the past and all that matters is now. and right now - i am not the kind of person who just deletes a person from her life and calls it a day. people are not disposable. and while i respect that we are completely different people now, and our paths have diverged and we will never replace the connection we once had, it doesn't mean i want to let you go entirely. i remember you. i respect how much of an impact you had in creating the person i am today.

i also respect that i probably hurt you just as bad when i walked away. so while i am ready to let go and forgive and reach out, i dont expect you to feel the same. to receive that energy and respond to it. its in YOUR prerogative to simply ignore and delete that request in the same exact way i did.

but... i probably wont reach out to the other friend. some people stay in the past. idk. im lost now. my point is ive let go and forgiven. but nothing really has to change, only my behaviour moving forward. no mistake is worth my walking away. distance is my friend but i dont need to cut people off anymore. thats the easy way out. life isnt meant to be easy. i want to learn to do the hard thing... i am learning to do the hard thing.

this has been a healing experience. thank you, C <3

[jakowskis]

Day 24 - Discuss Ianto. Opinions? Favorite moment? Least favorite moment? Any unpopular opinions? Any fun headcanons?

putting this under a cut cuz im noivous + i didnt rlly write a good introductory paragraph

iantoooo ok. i have an interesting relationship with ianto, namely bc i love him a lot but i think im enjoying a much different version of him than the one most people like. idk how to explain it exactly, but like, i came to care about him when i started writing in his pov for owento fic, if that tells you anything fhdfjkd. i think that’s a pretty specific and semi-unorthodox way to get acquainted with a character, by sticking them in a kinda toxic relationship that’s not their canon one, + is largely a product of ur imagination + other fic fsdhkfjds. needless to say, i’m immensely fond of the ianto in my head, who i think does exist in the canon character but just isn’t someone we see expanded upon (owento being epic toxic yaoi is such a feasible concept to me fhsdfjksd i think they very well could’ve happened in another life) - but, for obvious reasons, that ianto isn’t a ianto most other people can conceive of, ykwim? long story short, i’m sitting over here cradling my fucked up version of ianto who’s doing some crazy shit with owen, and it makes me feel p detached from other ianto enjoyers (aka, yknow, practically the whole fandom fshdfks).

that being said! i am fond of canon ianto. i found him kinda underwhelming in the first two seasons, he’s just kind of... there, which makes his popularity a bit surprising, if i’m honest. he’s endearing, but not that endearing. but he’s a lot more fleshed out in the audios, which is where i came to rlly enjoy him on his own, rather than just the version of him i’ve crafted as a writer. but i think part of his popularity is that he’s a bit of a blank slate, so people have a lot of freedom to run with him, and that’s definitely a lot of fun when ur a writer (hell, both for the official writers + the fanfic writers). we know his blandness is a mask, which means plenty of things could be hiding under there, and there’s a lot of fun interpretations out there as a result. some i don’t quite agree with, ofc, but hey, we’re all here to have a good time. more on that when i talk about unpopular opinions. 

he does have his moments, of course. i think my favorite ianto moments are the entirety of captain jack harkness (him and owen in that episode really changed my life as i’ve said dozens of times fhsdkjdks. when he pointed that gun at owen smth in my brain shifted HFJKSDHDS), and then “pray they survive” in meat. can you tell i like badass!ianto. of course, i enjoy his dorky moments, too. i like that he’s more comfortable and companionable in season 2 and as a result he’s full of quips. i listened to the one restricted items archive audio earlier this month, he’s soo much fun in that one, so much personality. same with believe, both gave me a lot of insight into him that the show initially really didn’t bother with, and it was such a joy. funky little lad. i’ve said this before, but i often get annoyed by characters (+ ships) that are hugely popular in a fandom, and i’ve had moments where i’ve been mildly annoyed by ianto as a result (seeing as i’m largely a owen&tosh&gwen girlie and jack & ianto so aggressively dominate things) - but i legitimately can’t bring myself to actually dislike him. i’m not immune to ianto jones. sigh. 

but yeah, cyberwoman was when i went “oh, he’s fucked up, ok hi” - but captain jack harkness was when i went “oh, he’s fucked up, ok hi” FJKSDF like that was when he first started to actually intrigue me, and the ianto i’m most interested in is the one we see in that episode. it’s a darker sort of ianto, and that stifled darkness is what i find compelling about the character + what i’m interested in exploring. and that’s why i like owento, bc owen’s such a live wire he kind of forces ianto’s repressed qualities to the surface - and that has a lot of potential. i talked about it here, when i talked about why i ship them - this post is about ianto on his own, ofc, but he’s one of the two characters in my torchwood otp, so i can’t help but mention it. i just find that ship super handy for playing with what i consider to be ianto’s most compelling qualities, that the show doesn’t fully capitalize on. of course, as we know, i’ve yet to watch s3 and i have a feeling it’ll happen there. i’m eager to see! 

i don’t really have a least favorite ianto moment, other than how often he’s simply reduced down to being jack’s boytoy + that he’s underdeveloped and just kind of eye-candy, + then comic relief as well in s2. oh! but i laugh hysterically every time he cries on screen. i can’t help it, it’s so funny the way he wails. but those aren’t ‘least fav’ moments so much as ‘ianto moments i cannot fucking take seriously’. 

unpopular opinions time! don’t kill me

he’s a liiiittle bit overrated ;-;

he’s soooo much more interesting outside of his relationship with jack. jack stifles him a lot.

him and jack have zero chemistry onscreen too like they look very forced to me

...he has 10x more chemistry with owen 😗

fandom j*nto fucking sucks + i have no interest in it

i HATE what ianto’s reduced to in a lot of fics. he's not at all cutesy n ineffectual idk where tf that came from

he’s a dom 🫵 and a top-leaning vers. grr. 

top/bottom discourse is so stupid + immature but my main thing is just. don't be tropey with it ugh. wooby uwu uke ianto is a fucking plague. it's gross n such an injustice to his character. makes me 🤒 every time im subjected to it. treat characters like real humans w real sexual leanings and desires don't just shepherd them into weird fetishy roles cuz u think its cute n hot 😒 im not here to police anyone's fandom experience it just makes my life worse FSDJKF so im allowed to bitch about it. fandom is my hobby tht makes me smileeee and i hate when things make me Frown yknow ffff

love him to bits as a person + he definitely has some rlly good moments but some of gareth’s acting as ianto is laughable 😭 mostly emotional scenes. i make fun of ‘havent you ever loved anyone jack wahh’ a lot SORRY im mean. thats probs also why i liked cjh sm i was like oh shit he can act. IM SORRY it had to be said. b*rrowman’s the other actor i struggle to take seriously and thats probs also why j*nto doesn’t compel me like. they both come at it from such a campy (/neg) angle to me ngl

hcs… idk if i rlly have any hcs for him? none are coming to mind. i’ll probs come up w some as my owento verse develops. i think i peppered a few random ones into my big fic dhfj im sure ill come up with more. 

[elysianslove]

Please wrote more surrogate fics please . could I request one with SakuAtsu or could you just start a series on these. If you'd me comfortable with that. That on IwaOi surrogate fic brought me so much joy. I can't even describe it.

oh my goodness i’d love to!!! it makes me so happy knowing you liked it cause like,,, idk why it’s just special to me :) also im so glad you asked for sakuatsu bc these two ships are basically my favorite jhfgbsj. and yesyes i’d love to have a mini series with like little scenarios of each ship <333

this was insanely long. like insanely. 

content warning; artificial insemination, pregnancy, haikyuu manga spoilers, gay people being happy idk 

being iwaoi’s surrogate 

BEING SAKUATSU’S SURROGATE 

↬ it took forever to even get them together, so with a duo as indecisive as them, it’s imaginable how long the decision to raise a child together took. it took a long, long while for that transition from enemies to lovers to be final, and even then, they hadn’t realized how serious their relationship was until they were off getting married and then suddenly wanting a child? 

↬ it was something atsumu brought up out of the blue, just casually as they sat side by side on the couch. “wouldn’t it be nice if we raised a child together?” and it stuck with sakusa ever since. he didn’t know why he was obsessively thinking about it as much, but it’s all he could think about. literally. anytime he so much as thought about atsumu with a child, and a child of their own too, his stomach did a thousand and one flips. sakusa was never the biggest fan of children, and he knew that neither was atsumu. but, this would be different, wouldn’t it? Still, he tried to remind himself of the cons; they were pro-athletes, they didn’t have time, they didn’t understand the weight of the responsibility, were they even ready for something like that? somedays it was too tiring to take care of themselves, of each other. were they ready to be responsible for a whole life, someone dependent entirely on them? it seemed too— unrealistic. like something he could only hope to dream about, and just dream about.

↬ until he thought of atsumu with a little kid, a spit image of either one of them, sitting on his lap, giggling and laughing and squealing in glee. and so he decided, there will always be cons, he just has to see if the pros outweighed them. and honestly, they did. they were pro-athletes, sure, but that also meant they were financially stable, and could provide for a child, properly. they were mature now, knew each other very well, and had adapted to living with one another. they had family and friends all around. the kid would for sure grow up loved and cared for, and him and atsumu would add another person to their family. it really seemed like a dream, but this time, an attainable one.

↬ so as he ate dinner with his lover, he blurted out, “let’s raise a child together,” and atsumu honest to god choked on his food. he asked sakusa if he was serious, if he meant it, if this was real, and sakusa’s answer was yes to every single one of his question. yes, he was serious; yes, he meant it; yes, this was real. as real as can be.

↬ they both already knew they wanted a surrogate, and it didn’t matter who was the father. so long as the child was theirs.

↬ finding a surrogate was, well, a pain, to put it into perspective. sakusa was so picky about the “requirements,” if you will, and atsumu was suspicious of every single woman, it was kind of ridiculous really. he just “didn’t trust that they wouldn’t run away with the baby!” in his words. atsumu suggested sakusa’s older sister, which seemed perfect in his head, but sakusa refused, claiming it was 1. extremely weird, and 2. he doubted she’d say yes, with her own life to handle.

↬ and it finally, finally, came to atsumu: he could always just ask, well, you. he had met you during his college years, and since then, he’d been coincidentally crossing paths with you ever since then, and you’d even managed their msby jackals team at some point. it was weirdly ironic how he’s coming back to you, kind of like fate.

↬ so he suggested it to sakusa, and for once, the latter didn’t really have any way to object, except, “what if this inconveniences her?” other than that, you were the perfect candidate. they knew you well, trusted you, knew they could rely on you. and atsumu was sure you wouldn’t run with the baby. with regards to the inconvenience part, well, they could always just deal with that when the time came.

↬ they invited you over for some breakfast two days later, after they’d thought about it properly, endlessly, and figured you were their best option. it was weird seeing them so nervous when you first arrived, like they were breaking up with you or something. atsumu barely ate with how nauseous he felt, and sakusa spent the entire time watching you eat instead, hands fidgeting and legs shaking. it was really weird, but you didn’t bring it up, letting them take their own time to tell you whatever it was they wanted to tell you, because obviously, they clearly had something to say.

↬ after breakfast, you sat in their living room, just watching the tv quietly, until sakusa offered to get you some water. you weren’t really thirsty, but you agreed anyways, unsurprised to see atsumu rise from his own seat a minute later with a, “be right back,” as he headed to the kitchen. you could hear them bickering and whisper-yelling, and if you weren’t starting to grow as nervous as they were, you would’ve had it in you to laugh. they returned looking like they were bearing the most daunting of news, sitting down on the couch perpendicular to you. atsumu’s hands were sweaty and intertwined tightly together, while sakusa tried to remain as composed as possible. it seemed like the dark haired man would speak up, finally, parting his mouth with a deep breath.

↬ but it’s atsumu that blurts out, “please have my baby!— our baby. please have our baby.”

↬ honestly, your first response was to laugh, in disbelief, as you clutch your glass of water. but then you see their faces — god they looked so goddamn scared — and you realized that, they were really serious. they really wanted you to carry their baby for them. holy shit?—

↬ you were mostly speechless after that, stuttering as you ask them to please explain, you’re honored but are they are, have they thought about this? properly? in depth?

↬ to your surprise, they really knew what they were doing. they’d done their research, and thought about a million other options before deciding that you were the best one. they also repeatedly told you that you didn’t have to do this, and that they didn’t want to guilt-trip you into doing it either. they wanted you to say yes only if you yourself wanted to say yes, and if this wouldn’t negatively affect you or halt your life in any way. you were the one that was going to be carrying the baby anyways, weren’t you? at the end of the day, this was all about you.

↬ you asked them for time to think about it, and reminded them that it wasn’t a no. you just wanted to make sure you were making the right decision whichever that ended up being. a few days later, you call them, asking them to meet up one way or another, and atsumu’s even more nervous than he was asking you; not even sakusa’s gentle lips to his temple or large hands soothingly rubbing at his back or his kind words could help him. sakusa himself was insanely anxious. in his head, it seemed like your ‘no,’ would finalize everything. that it would really mean no hope in having a child of their own, their very own.

↬ you invite them over to your home, and the kettle is already boiling when they arrive. you make them tea and make small talk if only to delay the inevitable. but, to each of their surprises, you take a deep breath and say, “i’d be honored to carry your baby for you,” with the brightest, warmest smile. sakusa has to bite his inner cheek to will himself to not cry, because he can’t believe you said yes. you agreed. you’re going to carry their baby. him and atsumu were having a baby.

↬ atsumu doesn’t stop himself from throwing his arms around you, collapsing on top of you in tight hug that you kind of can’t breathe, but you let him, and you laugh when he thanks you for saying yes, that he’ll “be forever in your debt.”

↬ it’s the happiest you’ve seen either of them.

↬ when you’re done with the process of insemination (of course, atsumu does joke that the three of you should go the natural way and have a threesome, to which he earns a smack from his lover and a smack from you, at the same time), the three of you just have to wait, really. it’s the longest period of waiting you’ve ever had to do, but you try to be patient, as patient as you can be. when you wake up one morning and throw up, you look at your period tracking app to see if maybe you were pms’ing. except, you weren’t. you were late. like a good three weeks late.

↬ immediately, you’re booking a doctor’s appointment. you wait to tell sakusa and atsumu after confirming your suspicions, because you don’t want to raise their hopes up for nothing. they’ve already been swimming in a pool of doubts ever since the insemination, calling you everyday to check up on you and ask for any progress. when the doctor confirms your pregnancy — holy shit you were pregnant — the first thing you do is go over to their house. you know it’s not the best idea to show up unannounced, but with how long they’ve been waiting, and how much they’ve been wanting this, the more and more you fed into it, you couldn’t wait any longer to tell them. you arrive, and the moment sakusa opens the door for you, you gasp out, “i’m pregnant.”

↬ sakusa’s quite literally frozen in shock, his mouth pressed in a thin line with eyes wide open, while atsumu walks over and goes, “oh hey,” in greeting before noticing sakusa’s face and just ???? “what’s going on?”

↬ “i’m pregnant.”

↬ “you’re what?”

↬ you show them with tears stinging your eyes the results of the test you’d taken at the doctor’s, and atsumu grips the report so tightly, like it’ll disappear if it slips only slightly from his hands. sakusa’s still in shock, trying to process everything. it takes him a good while before he can function properly again.

↬ the pregnancy itself is a lot smoother than you’d imagined. iwaizumi, as their athletic trainer, although not well versed with pregnancy, knew a lot about health and taking care of yourself in general, so he made sure you were always eating right and healthy. he even accompanied you once when sakusa and atsumu couldn’t, to the doctor, and made sure to ask him specifically what you should and shouldn’t be eating. all of the olympic/national team are more excited than anything. they’re insanely protective over you, and always pamper and care for you you when they can, whether that be back/neck/shoulder massages or giving you their food when they notice you eyeing it or letting you lean entirely on any of them for support as you walk. granted, they do make fun of you, especially the bigger your stomach got, but they mean well, really. suna once made fun of you and, because of the hormones, and because he was genuinely just mean, you started to cry. since then, suna swore off bullying you, at least until you gave birth.

↬ osamu is beyond ecstatic to become an uncle. he’s so excited it makes atsumu incredibly emotional. he goes with his brother on trips to ikea to buy a crib and gifts him an insane amount of baby clothes and always begins a conversation with, “how’s the baby?” every time you’re around, osamu’s hand can be found resting on your stomach, soothingly rubbing, excitedly grinning when he feels a kick. he is just so happy for his brother, he could cry.

↬ you ask them if they want a gender reveal when you find out or to keep it until the delivery of the baby, but they’re both insanely impatient (even though sakusa does try to convince atsumu to wait because it’ll be exciting, he himself isn’t even that convinced of that and they just ask you to tell them). with the help of osamu and his and atsumu’s parents, you organize a gender reveal party. the moment he sees the pink smoke, atsumu cheers so loudly it makes you laugh till your stomach hurt. sakusa’s grinning wider than you’ve ever seen him, grabbing atsumu’s face and kissing him, before pulling you into a tight hug. it’s literally the cutest thing ever, everyone just cheering loudly around you and celebrating with you.

↬ when you go into labor, you’re with neither of them, but with osamu, aran, and kita. they were staying the night at a hotel since they had training away from where they lived, and you were spending the night at osamu’s because the fathers of your baby really didn’t want you to be alone so close to your due date, and who better than osamu? your water didn’t break, but you kept having contractions. you were brushing it off as normal pain at the start, but they started to get worse, and closer together in time. kita, because he’s kita, had been keeping track, and told you how far apart your contractions were. to which you went, “contractions?!”

↬ aran’s calling sakusa and atsumu as kita grabs your bag as osamu grabs his keys and helps you to his car. you really couldn’t have been around a better set of men, because they were perfectly composed the whole time, helping you breathe and stay calm by staying calm themselves, reassuring you that you didn’t need to worry and that you will get to the hospital in time. they did flinch every time you screamed or cried out in pain, but aran held your hand the entire drive there, and kita guided you to steadying yourself as osamu drove as fast as he could.

↬ the issue was with sakusa and atsumu. to say they were freaking out would be an understatement. they were positively losing it. atsumu’s anxiety was louder than sakusa’s, but the latter’s was clear as ever on his pale skin and clammy hands. they were so annoying in the delivery room, literally faring worse off than you, who was pushing a whole baby out of her body. when you finally gave birth to a healthy baby girl, atsumu sobbed and sakusa cried in his hands, so maybe it was alright after all.

↬ they literally couldn’t believe their eyes when the nurse handed you the baby and placed her on your chest. she was so, so tiny, so beautiful, and theirs. honestly, you couldn’t hold back your own tears at the sight of her, and at their reaction to her. you held her in your arms as they thanked you, over and over and over again, for the biggest blessing they could ever receive.

↬ despite the fact that you were simply their surrogate, sakusa and atsumu knew they couldn’t just separate you and your baby, and neither could they just take her home all of a sudden. so for the first few months, you stayed in their guest room, but the baby slept in her own room. it was more difficult than you expected it to be when you were leaving her to go back to your own home, but they promised you repeatedly that they’re not really taking her away. it wasn’t as if you couldn’t visit at any time you wanted to come visit her. but at the end of the day, you knew what you had been signing up for, and that she was their daughter.

↬ she grows up to be a gorgeous woman. she’s interested in volleyball, sure, she’d been raised with volleyball players everywhere around her, but it’s not her immediate passion. atsumu thought he’d be more upset about that than he actually was, because he found out that it didn’t matter at all what she wanted to do. hell, if she wanted to do nothing at all and stay home forever with them, he was 100% on board with that. whatever made her happy and healthy, he was okay with. she grows up to be really close and really comfortable with both of her fathers, and they make sure with every passing day that no matter what, she can always come to them. and she does, about every little thing. and each and every time, they listen and advice and guide her properly. a s parents, they’re a perfect balance of strict and lenient. they set and raise her to never cross those boundaries, but otherwise they give her complete freedom. they respect her privacy, her decisions, everything.

↬ there was a day when she came back home from school, and they had taken a biology class for kids, where a teacher had explained periods to them. obviously, as curious as ever, she’d asked her dads about it, because she didn’t really get it. she wanted to know the how’s and the why’s and the what’s and the when’s. with every passing second atsumu had felt his lifespan shorten. eventually he suggested they call you, who she knew as her ‘aunt’ for the time being, since you were a woman and nobody would really explain it better than you. when she did get her period eventually, and had to sheepishly and shyly ask her dads to go to the store for her because she needed, um, supplies, atsumu lost it. sakusa had to try and calm him down all while laughing as he got ready to go to the store for her, because the drama of miya atsumu never gets old. he just couldn’t believe she was already getting her period. what the hell! what the actual hell!

↬ of course, he proceeded to embarrass her by telling osamu, telling sakusa’s parents, telling his parents. not cool :(

↬ when she was old enough, especially to understand the concept of being a surrogate (oh my god the sex talk was a whole other insufferable thing), they told her about you, and that you were actually her biological mother and not just an ‘auntie.’ she tried to be angry at them for keeping it from her, but she was honestly more excited about finding out than anything. it brought the two of you closer together, and for the next mother’s day, she organized a whole brunch for you, her and her dads, got you a gift, flowers, everything. yeah, you did cry.

↬ you genuinely have never been more satisfied and thankful for a decision like this one, ever, especially because of how much of a blessing the outcome had been.

can u tell this isn’t my first time thinking about this. ever since i posted the iwaoi one i’ve been wanting to do a sakuatsu one, but i didn’t really know whether anyone had enjoyed that or would want more, so thank you for sending in this ask!! love u all mwah <3 

[calzonekestis]

I'm sorry you're getting anon hate for defending Grace, some people really love to waste their time Karen-ing on tumblr dot com 😐 I thought it might cheer you up to see something positive in your inbox so, I hope you have a lovely day/evening!

It’s sad and pathetic, but I don’t let it get to me. I turned anons off when they first started like back before Vol. 2 dropped, and I was Thinking it might be time to turn them on again but. Lmao.

People just legit have nothing better to do with their time, apparently. I’m so sorry to see that you’ve been dealing with more hate as well, which - ok, absolutely no one deserves that sort of crap, but pls know/don’t forget that there are tons of people who love seeing you on their dash and you bring them joy.

I absolutely love seeing the positivity and passion you have, and like with fix - you take the time to write it and share it and people like it and respond to it. That’s good, lovely, productive fandom. That’s fandom done right. More people should look to you as an example fwiw~

And like, ok, here’s an example; I’m someone who isn’t letting myself buy into the Kas theory personally. I don’t want to be disappointed if he doesn’t come back, and as sad as it would be if his end was truly the end… I’ve personally made peace with it/am ok with it. I would be mildly disappointed if the theory came true bc it wouldn’t really be Eddie for much of it. Like I’d love it for Joe, and him having a job lol, but it’d just be excruciating to watch if he wasn’t the character we loved for much of it…and if he ended up just dying again at the end… I’d be a wreck. Again. But that’s just me!

All that to say! I’m not big on such theories, and yet… I still love your blog? I don’t see it as “grr they have Different Opinions!” I see it as “an Eddie friend! That means Friend!“

Like. It’s that easy? People can enjoy the things they things mutually… mutually, and when the tastes diverge, just. Leave each other to it? No one’s hurting anyone, they’re having fun, why be a dick?

Like, despite not being big on the theory - I love seeing your speculations, and you and your mutuals going over his reactions in various interviews?

Like. Again, this should be an obvious thing to people and idk why it’s not - you don’t have to be on board with every single thing. Every Want for a character, every interpretation, every ship.

That does not make you My Enemy, and I (hope you know lol) nor does it make either of us “less of” a fan which. Again, is a bs way of going about fandom.

Taking ownership and gatekeeping from other fans. I used to be like that with the Marvel fandom like a decade back. I was a seventeen year old white boy who thought he was straight (lol) and didn’t know what to make of his Comfort thing becoming popular. I got over myself, grew the fuck up, and gained some perspective. I hope that the antis can do the same.

Like, yes, it’s annoying when a character you like is mischaracterized - but like. Just unfollow and move on, if it bothers you that much? And like I’m the case of Joe - when it’s the actor telling you how he went about his craft - what he had in his head and and how he played it… you’re gonna sit there and tell him he’s wrong?

It’s. Ridiculous. Or it would be, if it hadn’t gotten to this point.

There’s no reason to send a person hate, be they a fan or actor. For what purpose? To tell them that they’re wrong and stupid and don’t get a character like they do? Because you don’t they should enjoy a thing, because things can only be enjoyed in the way you yourself enjoy them? That makes things… very boring.

And if you’re so threatened by a person enjoying a thing, why is that?

And why do you feel the urge to try and make them feel bad about themselves, and get them to Go Away?

It all says more about them than it does us.

This has been a whole long tangent, for which I apologize, but. Thank you for the kind words, and right back at you.

[lunarbun-ships]

What do you suppose one would do if their starting to think that self-shipping with a character is becoming more obsession than anything else? I don't want to stop all together cause it does bring me comfort and joy still, and I wouldn't say it's hurting my personal life/jobs/relationships or anything, but sometimes it feels like....it's not the same anymore. Like it used to be fun (still is), and I still love him but now I'm wondering if it's more obsession than anything else. It's been making me sad to think about 'breaking up with him' (which I don't wanna do at all) and leaving him and the self-ship community, but idk what exactly is bothering me. Sorry this is so long!

hi anon! this actually happened to me with bj last summer during a really bad mental low for me!! i find that there can be a fine line between loving your f/os and completely obsessing over them and its hard to find where one ends and another begins, and thats something im still learning myself!!

honestly my opinion is that making the realization is the first step! and the fact youre being honest about it means youre already starting the process! imo you dont have to stop shipping with them, but i find that taking a step back and stepping away from the f/o or selfship altogether for a while is good way to combat it!

when the thought of “oh no this is no longer fun in a healthy way” occurred to me, i took a step back and gave some of my other f/os a bit more attention and once i felt ready to return to focusing on beej, things felt healthy and normal again because i could then assess as to why it started and how i could avoid getting to an unhealthy level in the future, and personally i found that certain life factors and poor mental health is what caused it for me personally and so i actually took a bit of a long break from selfship altogether and focused on south park for a while!!

and anon, it is okay to take a break from shipping, i know its gonna suck but sometimes too much of a good thing can quickly become a bad thing :( i dont want to see you put yourself into an unhealthy position with something thats supposed to help you cope, ive been there and its hard, but the quicker you assess the issue, the better itll be for you!

im rooting for you anon!! please be easy on yourself and take things slowly and please dont be afraid to message us if you need to talk about it more!

[lordabovehelpme]

Lordy! I’m in distress after Mandalorian finale! Can you give us your best fluff? Maybe something about starting a family with Din or comforting him or just lots of affection or all of the above??? Idk but I need some Fluff and you’re the best there is🥺💕

Cold- Din Djarin x Reader

A/n: I am too still trying to recover and process what happened!!! But I am so happy to hear from you. And I am honored that you think I’m so good at writing fluff. I hope this lives up to your expectations! 

Warnings: Season 2 Finale spoilers, pregnancy

Masterlist 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you think they’re okay?”

Boba Fett turns to look at you, you don't need to see his face to know he is done with your questions.

“I don’t know,” you look down at your hands placed over your swollen stomach, “I just have a bad feeling.” Your husband had practically begged you to stay on the ship with Fett, as you would be “safe.”

“I’m sure they are fine.” Even his voice tells you how annoying you are, he turns back to face the flashing lights of hyperspace as you two fly away to the designated meeting spot.

Subconsciously, your hands rub over your stomach until you find where your child is. On your right side, you can feel the bump of your unborn son's butt. Being able to touch him calms you down, it grounds you.

***

You don’t know why, but your heart sinks when their ship comes into view. “Something isn’t right!” Fett turns towards you and his helmet tilts.

“I have received no distress call, they are fine.”

“No, no no no. Something is wrong.” You stand up from your seat and start pacing around. The powerful thumps of your heartbeat ring throughout your ears and your stomach does flips with nausea. But you know this is not because of your son, it is something more.

When the doors open and the crew walks in you eyes search for your husband. When he walks though, instantly you run into his arms. You feel him rest almost all his weight onto you, he is off about something.

Wrapping your arms around him, you peer over his shoulder, looking for your adopted child. You can only feel your heart sink lower. “Honey, where’s ad’ika?”

Cara throws you a saddened look and she turns away. It's then when you hear the faint sniffle from your husband you heart finally shatters. Fennec walks over and places her hand on top of your own. “Why don’t you both head to the sleeping quarters and rest. You’ll be needing your privacy.”

When she walks over to Cara you turn your head into the crevice between Din’s helmet and his shoulder. “Come on, big boy. Let’s go and you can tell me all about what happened.”

You feel his head slightly nod and as you let go of him, he grabs your hand. Something in your mind yells at you to be strong for him. You don’t know why you need to, but you just have a feeling.

Once the doors are closed behind you two, Din rips his helmet off and falls to his knees. His large palms reach out for you and pull you against him. His head rests on your stomach and his hands clutch your hips, as if he lets go you’ll vanish.

Running your hands through his soft curls, your own eyes well up with tears at the sound of his cry. “He…” The mandalorian hiccups and he moves his head so he can meet your eyes. “A jedi found us and…” Your heart shatters into a billion pieces when you see a tear trail down his cheek. “He’s with his own kind now.”

Closing your eyes, your own tears run down your cheeks. You know you should be happy, but instead you feel like a piece of you is missing. 

You feel cold.

***

As Din goes over every event that happened while on that ship, you just stand there and clutch his hair, eyes now puffy with how much you’ve cried. “But we will see him again… right?”

“Of course, cyare. I promised him.” His voice is muffled, as he is pressed against your stomach. You feel a little better now, but it could just be because you’re in shock.

Slowly, you lower yourself onto the ground and into his arms. Tucking yourself away from the world, you breathe in his scent. “I’m so happy you’re okay.”

“Cyar’ika?” He sounds hesitant and you hum, “Promise me you’ll never leave.”

Leaning back to face him, you look into his eyes. Swirls of pain and sadness dance in his orbs.

“Baby, I’ve been yours since the day I met you. Neither I nor this little guy,” you bring his hands to your stomach, “will ever leave you. You’re stuck with us.”

You watch as a small smile forms on his lips, before he smashes them against your own. He cradles the back of your head with one hand, while the other rubs over your stomach.

***

It takes a little over a week for you both to even start to recover. You’ve decided that Din was right, Grogu should be able to continue his abilities with someone who knows about it. It’s just weird without his little hands patting your leg, or his coos of excitement.

You’ve both also prepared more for the son you are about to let loose in the world. Din always has at least one hand on your stomach. Whenever you have to go to the bathroom, you literally have to pry yourself from his hold.

Being pregnant has its perks, such as getting the only sleeping quarters available on the ship while everyone else has to pile up in the hull. And, no one has really said anything mean about it either.

The only thing you can think of is how Cara has a running joke that she would have married you if she knew she would get bed privileges. You always laugh it off with everyone else, but you don't miss the way Din stands a little taller and his hand squeezes you a little tighter.

Tonight, you decided to head in early. Usually everyone will sit around and tell stories of their past adventures, but you just felt so tired. Not wanting to harm your husband's fun, you practically had to lock him out of the room. You know he enjoys the company of these friends, and you don't want to ruin it one bit.

***

You hear the loud booming laughter and cries of embarrassment die down and soon enough, the door opens and closes. The lights had already been turned off, so you can only hear the faint clank of metal on metal when he takes off his armor.

The blanket lifts up from your body and you hiss at the chill. A chuckle falls from his lips and two strong arms wrap themselves around your body, pulling you into a firm chest.

You turn your head to kiss his lips but he turns away. “Hold on, I have some business to discuss.” Your eyebrows knit together in confusion at his statement. He lifts the blanket again and shimmies under them. Having no idea where he is going with this, you just lay there and stare into the dark room.

His hands trace your hips and find purchase at the bottom of the shirt you wore to bed. You call it your shirt, but it's really one of his old tunics. He lifts the shirt and places it over his head.

“Hello, ad’ika. Now we need to discuss the plans for this next month.”

The tone of his voice is so serious you can't help but burst out laughing. Your hands fly to your mouth to try and conceal your sound but you're practically crying now.

Your husband brings his head from under your shirt and lifts the blanket to give you the meanest glare he can. “Excuse me Miss, but this is a serious meeting. You need to calm down and control yourself.” Biting the inside of your cheek, you try as hard as you can to stifle your giggles. Seemiling pleased with this, your husband lets the blankets fall on top of you again and moves back under your shirt.

“Sorry for the noise. I hope that won’t harm our agreement.”

Giggling as hard as you can, you listen to the “serious meeting” Din is having with your son over his arrival time. He even stops and presses his ear to your stomach at times as if he can really hear your son.

Finally after a few minutes, they say their goodbyes and part their ways. Your husband shifts back up to your side and he still has a serious look on his face.

“How was the meeting?” Your voice falters in the middle at how ridiculous the whole situation is.

“Uneventful. Even though we agreed and made lots of points, he is unwilling to give me a set date!” Din huffs.

“How inconsiderate!” Biting back a smile, you trace his jawline and scratch at his scruff. Your heart swells and grows with joy and passion. “I love you.”

His lips meet your own and they move in a slow waltz of adoration. “Hmm.” He bites your bottom lip before pulling back and kissing your forehead. “Love you too, Cyar’ika.” He nuzzles his chin on top of your head and tucks you into his chest.

Your eyelids drift closed and your thoughts fade away into a faint hum. The pound of Din’s heartbeat echoes through your chest and your own seems to match.

Just two souls entwined by love. One more, far away, and another along the way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, there it is. I hope you guys liked it!

Feedback is totally appreciated! 

Love, Lordy :) 

Masterlist

Taglist: @ficthots @along-the-lines-of-space

[bittybattybunny]

I hope your not feeling down on your writing skills because I haven't caught up and commented on your latest releases. It's not you it's that I pick too many fanfics to follow and they all update a lot and I've been so busy and I've fallen behind on so many fics from various authors and sometimes my depression just makes me want to lie in bed all day doing nothing and it doesn't help I have to spend my limited spoons helping family everyday. I know these aren't good excuses, but I do sympathize with the lack of energy feeling at least. But your work really does bring a lot of joy to my life. It's so fun keeping up with your various AUs, and your latest one that features Kaya as Spider King has me really hyped because I want to learn more about Kaya, she's so fun! And Ruclipse is such a good comfort ship that just hits all the things I like seeing in a ship. You're so amazing and creative and it's awful that anyone would try to make you feel otherwise! Like your newest OC, Justin Tyme seems like such a lovable dumbass bastard. I love his wild, curly hair and his dapper outfit. I can't wait to see what dumb shit he gets himself into! I know this is really long and rambly, but I hope you know you have fans who genuinely love your work. I don't know if you're still thinking about that one comment you mentioned that got you really down, but honestly, fuck that guy. I don't know what they said but it must have been pure BS to have you doubting your hard earned art skills. I wish I could do more to prove you're awesome and that your fans really admire you, I just hope you don't stop sharing what you love because some rando was nasty for no good reason. Because we love what you do!

It's not like anyone one person nonny so please don't blame yourself. This has been an ongoing thing for a few months actually...

it's just a general thing over all lately like. I mentioned this in dm's with a friend but overall past few months I've had lower engagement overall with my works and it really does a number on my confidence. More so because like your latter point.

yes, I am still very much thinking about that one negative comment. Because that person also has the need to comment on other things and I even had a thing asking why I took a few weeks to update (when reality I posted to another ongoing fic and my TLC chapters are long chapters) and just the fact they could tear into a character (yes it was a comment on a character specifically and not even a main character it's a side character who has an important role for Snatcher's growth as a person down the line) then go saying "why didn't you update" when I posted a double update that week---

Like it lives in my head rent free and I want to literally cry because like the character is a focal in an upcoming chapter and I can't deal with another "why are they back" type thing. because "everyone finds them annoying"

And I'll be honest. it was Kaya. Like I've been trying to have fun with my BCU stuff with her as Spiderking because it's engaging for me and me and @/doodleimprovement even came up with a b-plot involving Kaya and Hattie trying to hook Nell and Marcus together and it's one of the best things as well as Kaya and Nell having a really good relationship.

but because of that one comment it makes me hesitant to do anything with Kaya despite she's one of my oldest ocs, my most thought out ocs and I adore her beyond anything. Like yes she's over powered and such and in TLC rn she comes off as a know it all, but upcoming chapters will show she's just a spacey kid who's trying to fit into a role others decided for her and isn't really as all mighty as she seems. Snatcher even ends up thinking of her as a little sister more than anything. Like fuck I'm even hesitant to share anything on her actual story despite how much work is in it. Like she's my favorite Oc (that's why shes my discord icon, and I'm pretty sure she's my twitter icon as well)

And like the points in the comment just. IDK they didn't fit to her, if anything the points are more suited to be shot at Eclipse.

Which is another thing I just get iffy on. I love RuClipse and everything with it. I love writing and drawing the dorks. But I'm now so afraid if Kaya could be attacked for only showing in a handful of chapters that don't even touch on who she is, when is someone going to finally tell me off on my wolf? who's going to tear into a character I pour a lot of personal shit into to try and comfort myself?

I use Ruclipse to deal with my own romantic heart, they are what I wish I could have so I love to write them, I hurt them but i like to make them happy in the end. Someone who can deal with your highs and lows. No ones perfect but you can still figure it out and love even the negative parts (I am a heavy romantic OTL)

he is in fact a lovable bastard. i have fun plans and he gives me an excuse for why Cel is so tired and having to be the brain cell and how she even wound up working with the time kids when she's so much older than they are. Currently I'm trying to think of how to use him and honestly I think he's gonna wind up hella comic relief fun guy who's just making a mess and do his own side story while Hat and Bow are busy in subcon----

thank you, I don't mind the rambly it kinda gave me a chance to get this off my chest... like I've typed this kinda response up time and time again and I always delete. I feel like I'm whining because I get upset but it's just, I spend so much time making things, I use all my spoons on either working or creating, I just want to know if it means anything but then negativity lives in my head because what's a functioning meat cube??? I try to stay positive but it's hard. Like another thing is Moon Guardian; the reason I haven't updated? because I have had someone bothering me about it. weekly I get asked about how I'm doing on it but it's not from a place of "want to read it" it's because I told them they couldn't post a certain thing until the chapter is done so it feels pressuring to constantly get asked because I feel the only reason they want to post is to boost their thing and I'm just the machine to boost it with my characters and comic.... like it feels they've taken the comic from me and it sucks because I have so many fun things planned. Like I accidentally went off on Nina about a thing with Alpine skyline and Eclipse as well as a thing with a Time Rift and a Jelly ghost.

Sorry kinda went off, just I've sat on this thought train since like early april. I've done my best to ignore it and just keep going but it's gotten really hard with the fact my health hasn't been really great. I've spent a lot of time lately bed bound because I just hurt so badly. if I'm not resting, I'm at my day job which is incredibly stressful rn as I only really work mornings and I see things that are being missed so then i report it and it still gets missed and i can't get it fixed after a point cuz we're back to full service and need the people so I can't nitpick but just.... I'm bitter okay like if I left this shit when I worked I would have gotten yelled at but now we just let it slide??? and this stresses me out which then causes my body to freak out because I'm stressed which puts me in more pain. and then like at work have people acting shocked I have my cane or soemthing and just skfdslkfksdf

so my energy is so tanked. and then the negative comment in my head, no idea if people like things cuz I have no idea if I hear nothing, just has had me doubting why post. Like I should go back to just not posting my stories and sketches or w/e and slink back to my hole like I was before.

idk Its just. a bad night in the house of bun. I've had these thoughts festering and I guess today was the dam breaking. It's probs cuz I'm nervous posting Chimeras because it's a very dark au.

[themilky-way]

honey {din djarin}

gif credit: gameraboy1 on tumblr

pairing: din djarin/the mandalorian x female! reader

summary: the mandalorian never really cared for romance. he had never wanted it in his life, but some things are bound to change, right?

warnings: um nothing just fluff i think lmao 

author’s note: idk how many more ppl my heart can stan bc sir pedro pascal is adorable as fuck. in my mandalorian feels too lol i miss mando

-------

the sky set out in front of the razor crest was changing colors with every passing minute. a dark orange red adorning its surroundings first, and then switching to a deeper hue of orange and violet. the air around the ship was strong enough to cause some turbulence, which made the small green child aboard to yelp suddenly. 

the mandalorian, captain and designated owner of the crest, turned his helmet to see if it was alright, and when he determined he wasn’t hurt or in pain, he turned the cold stare his visor gave off back onto the controls in front of him. his chair, the pilot’s chair, was positioned directly ahead of the large front view window and he fingered with the buttons and screens for a while until he set a safe planet to land on. 

the mandalorian heard the child giggle again, but this time it wasn’t because the ship was shaking. he heard a pair of boots tread light footsteps from behind him before stopping near the child. he looked at the crib through the corner of his eyes, the action covered by the safety of his helmet, and saw a figure near it. a shadowed hand extended to pet the baby’s head, the coos growing louder with joy. his eyes turned back to look at the scene in front of him, his hands gripping the joystick just a little tighter. 

“din?” the voice behind it is faint, questioning. he doesn’t let himself look at you though, because he knows that if he just merely glances at you for half a second, he’ll drop every one of his morals. instead, all he does is force a noise from the bottom of his throat to respond. 

“you should go to bed,” you suggest. in your mind, you’re laughing at how stupid the phrase had sounded. you, a regular person with only minor knowledge in martial arts, telling a mandalorian to do something? a complete and utter joke. 

regardless, din knew what you meant. but words weren’t his thing; they never had been. so his eyes stayed planted straight ahead and just shook his head, muttering, “i’m fine.”

“no you’re not. i can take over for a couple hours. believe it or not, i’m more qualified in flying a ship than actual combat,” you assured, laughing slightly as you said the last part. you hoped that underneath that strong, emotionless armor he wore he was smiling. even the smallest curve of his lips would satisfy you, realizing that he was capable of feeling something, anything. 

you watched as din pushed a couple buttons at the colorful panel in front of him, hearing a whirring sound when a gloved finger gave a final press to a red disk. he got up, and with a gradual pace began walking over to where his cabin dwelled, and without shifting his helmet to look at you, said, “come with me.”

it sent shivers through you; your arms, your legs, the nape of your neck, they rushed cold when the sound of his words entered your system. you looked down at the child, which had a perplexed look on its face, and reached out to you with a tiny finger. you grabbed it gently, and whispered, “i know, weird right? i’ll be right back, okay honey?” the child made a noise of approval and you shook his finger lightly before letting go, striding over to where din was. 

when you got there, din was standing next to his bed with his back to you, and looking at a small shelf hung from his wall. you stood in the doorway, your hands neatly clasped together behind you, and you watched him. watched him as his hands laid rigid at his sides, his body tense like it always stood. his back, in particular, was where you believed he had the most pain, and you wished he would finally allow you to run your hands through his strained muscles to grant him some form of comfort. but the mandalorian couldn’t agree to this, regardless if he knew of your will to do it or not, for personal reasons. he respected his creed, and you respected him, so you never pushed boundaries you knew would make him uncomfortable. so once again, you pushed the idea of touching him to the back of your mind. 

“stop staring,” he ordered. his voice was rough, raspy from hardly ever speaking, yet when he directed himself at you, it had a slight tinge of tenderness. it surprised you, and even more so to him. 

“i’m not-yeah, um, okay, sorry,” you stuttered. heat rose to your cheeks and you scolded yourself for barely being able to talk right, but who could blame you? a mandalorian was making you blush without even realizing it. 

“why am i here?”

“i need to give you something.” he turns around then, and your breath catches in your throat. you’re never used to him. the effect he seems to have on you and you wonder, deep in your mind, if he ever notices. dyn lifts his palm up then, holding up an item too small and obscure in color for you to know what it is. “come,” he says. 

you start walking towards him, stopping right in front of him and close enough that he has to peer down through his helmet to see your face. “give me your hand.”

you do, too quickly for your liking, but he takes it in his gloved one lightly and rubs your palm softly with his thumb. it was instinctive to him, to touch you in such a delicate way. the action itself poured out of him without thinking, and it caught both of you off guard. how is it, that the man who belongs to one of the most merciless creeds in the galaxy, is touching me so beautifully?, you wonder. in a matter of seconds, as if he read your mind, his thumb stops moving along your skin, and places the item into your hand. 

extending it with both hands and bringing it up closer for inspection, you learn that it’s a bracelet. it’s a thin band of shiny white gold, much like his armor, and it’s decorated with multiple lavender butterfly charms all around. it’s elegant, graceful, a striking contrast to his own lifestyle. wrapping it around your wrist to clasp it, you find that it fits perfectly, recognizing that he must’ve gone into a shop during one of your many stops and had it custom made. 

“din...it’s so gorgeous. how did you-where did you ge-”

“let me help you,” he cuts you off suddenly. he doesn’t want you to ask him the question because he doesn’t want to answer it. he doesn’t want to admit that he doesn’t find you annoying anymore, he doesn’t find himself scurrying to hide in his cabin when you appear, he doesn’t dislike you at all now. it’s the opposite. maybe even more than that. 

“yeah, please. thanks.” you turn your wrist so the clasps are exposed to him, and his fingers work quickly to hook the clips together. once he’s finished, he lets his hand linger a little on yours, hesitantly almost, and you observe him. your eyes dart from his hands to back up to his visor to try and get some sort of feeling out of him. you watch as he begins to move his pointer finger from the base of your wrist down to the very tip of your middle finger. the cold leather of his glove tickles your hand a little and you smile. a childish, innocent smile. you can’t see him, but he smiles with you. the image of you like this, giggling like the baby right inside the cockpit of his ship, makes him happier than he’s ever been. 

with a sudden wave of confidence, you direct to him. “you can hold it, you know,” you voice softly, “it’s alright.”

your courage dissipates as soon as the words leave your mouth. maybe you’ve made a mistake in advising him to partake in such an intimate action. perhaps you were dreaming, this whole scene a mere conjuring of your own touch starved mind. it could also be that din didn’t even want to touch you at all, and you’ve placed him in an uncomfortable position he now has to escape from. 

but, suddenly, your hand is interlocking with his. the size of his hand envelops your own, and through the leather of his glove, it sends sparks flying in every direction. he feels warm, and through the material of his mitt, you can also feel the different shapes of his callouses. this completes him, fills him to the brim with joy; with something far stronger than liking and closer to that of desire. he tightens his grip on your hand, and you reciprocate. you drop your interlocked hands down, and your free hand starts to lightly play with the fingers of his other one. you’re smiling, a dent on your cheek forming. 

“what is it?” din asks, and you laugh. that sweet-like-honey, angelic laugh that makes his heart nearly stumble out of his chest. 

“nothing. i just like the way your hand fits in mine.”

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian s2 ep1 Reactions Post That’s right I’m BACK

and none of you not even god himself can stop me from rambling about space cowboy dad and tiny green baby stuff for much longer than any sane person should 

the TL;DR is that I still love this show SO MUCH, beware a bunch of spoilers under the cut!

- costume design wise I LOVE how badly the armour fits Cobb Vanth

 especially when you get shots with him and Din side by side for contrast:

It’s not just that it’s clearly not made for him (it seems he’s a lot lankier and more wiry than Boba is), he simply doesn’t know how to wear it, and he doesn’t know how to take care of it, because he doesn’t know what it means. Remember when Din’s breastplate got bent completely out of shape by the mudhorn and he had it repaired to the best of his ability long before they even finished with the ship? That’s why he looks so grounded and natural in it and Vanth has sort of a clumsy Spiderman-in-his-first-home-made-costume air about him. (also Boba’s helmet has a beautiful heft and solidity to it in this, they make all the beskar have a Feel and weight to it, makes it feel important)  

I like that Vanth is taller than Din; everything that drives home that Din’s strength doesn’t come from being naturally physically imposing or impressive is a joy to me 

- Boba’s armour seems to be confirmed to be real beskar, which gives me so much hope that they’re doing something actually nuanced and interesting with Boba and Jango’s cultural identities as Mandalorians (whether they do consider themselves that or not, for example), unlike George Lucas’ inexplicable yet unbending stance of ‘They aren’t and never were lol get fucked Fetts’  

the way the triumphant heroic part of the mando music sputtered and died when the man himself showed up tho... uh-oh this might be bad news 

man but that’s a stunning and surprising way to introduce a well-known character divorced from what makes them so iconic, though, just from that I’m going to trust they know what they’re doing (AND they got temuera morrison back I’m so EXCITED!!!). without the armor there’s the face of someone who shared that face with literal millions and at the same time must be looking older than his father ever got to at this point, and that’s super interesting as a starting point to me. (I... guess there’s still a chance it’s a fakeout and that it’s actually another clone, but that would be such a letdown when they’ve already given us this haha) 

- an excellent [mando sighs] moment

this opening scene did a great job of re-summarizing him for the audience -- establishing again that he gives you one chance at dealing with him fairly and if you insist on continuing to be an asshole about it, you’re toast, the fact that his fighting style is so much about being able to tank blows rather than not getting hit in the first place, the horror movie monster mando setup as he stalked the dude down and strung him up, the Poetic Justice predicated on some very careful word choices, and most importantly “where I go, he goes”... all wonderful, I’m sure I’ll watch this scene back for fine details and better looks at the background characters many many times 

(word seems to have spread about him and the baby for real now, which makes me VERY nervous btw)

- Pulserifle’s back! Jetpack’s back! Razor Crest’s back! Grappling line’s back! PELLI’S BACK!!!!!! Tattooine... is also back *Finn voice* Why does everyone want to go back to Tattooine????

I really enjoyed the way they fleshed out and (for lack of a better word) humanized the sand people, though, if you are going back to this desert hellplanet again that is a worthy reason to do it 

- Din swearing :O!! and one of the less egregious star wars swears too, I’m fine with this

- in campaign star wars news: I guess there was sort of both a binbon and a jubna in this ep! what a time to be alive

- as usual I love the jawa. a bright spot in any day, just a bunch of lil goblin-y friends hanging out having the best time loving sparkly crystals and rescuing silver foxes.  

get in loser we’re going shopping

-  

I uh. Do you think. Hm. Is there maybe a metaphor here somewhere. Is there perhaps a hidden, one may say double, meaning, at play, right here, in this image? Who can say, it’s just niggling at me (there’s a very similar set of shots with Toro in season 1, but seemingly the show went ‘I fear we might have gone too subtle with it, let’s amp it up this time’ over the season break loool)

honestly though this dynamic really highlighted everything I love about the ways Din performs masculinity. It’s so much softer and more community/collaboration focused and more comfortable to be around than Vanth’s version -- and Vanth isn’t a bad dude by any stretch of the imagination, it’s not hard to see why he’s like that considering where he’s from, he’s just such a... man. The lone person who can protect this village! The only man who’s got what it takes! It’s all on his shoulders and no one else’s, so do exactly as he says or he’ll put a hole in you! (I think it’s telling that one of his first comments to Din is ‘I’m sure you call the shots wherever you’re from, but ‘round here, I’m the person who tell folks what to do’, because as we as the audience knows, Din very much does not call the shots of where he’s from lol) I guess it says some nice things about the tribe of Mandos Din is from that this is how he approaches things, and it says some good things about Vanth how quickly he comes around to this smarter and less confrontational/domineering style of doing things once he’s been exposed to it and sees how it works. it’s just neat

(it’s smart of Favreau to set his ~*lone gunslinger*~ character up like this, too, it makes him so much more interesting and versatile)   

- With the way Din says ‘a Mandalorian Armorer sent me on my path’ it does seem confirmed that’s the equivalent of a priest role or a sort of shaman -- I wonder if he knows the name of ‘The’ Armorer or if they take on the role as a whole identity 

- the sheer contrast between the two people who wanted Din to take his helmet off for them in this ep tho... wants Mando’s armour off for horrible awful reasons and got exactly what he deserved:

wants Mando’s armour off for entirely sympathetic and understandable, just culturally uninformed, thirsty thirsty reasons & also having drinks together:

 (the sort of... little lick over his bottom lip he does there? keep it in your pants vanth my GODjflsadf he’s a good dude tho he understands and respects the ‘no armour removal before marriage’ thing and backs down gracefully)

- This is a nuanced thing: I don’t think I actually ship it (not in a requited way from Din’s side, anyway, Vanth I’m 100% sure about lol), but the incredible potential for out-of-context-taking of “Take it off, or I will”/”...we doin’ this in front of the kid?” is uh astounding  

(anyone got the vibe Vanth sort of had something with the bartender too? no just me? well well)

- I was never really scared Din was actually dead or hurt b/c baby wasn’t scared and I figure he’d know lol, a very useful fear barometer 

- “What’s the plan?” “Take care of the child” “What are you gonna do?” “I don’t know, but wish me luck *yeets his new bro out of harm’s way before diving in head first himself*” fksdjhfkjlashdfkjsldahfkasldjhfskldajhfsadkjfh WHAT a summation of Din’s entire approach to battle & life, dad please you carry a not insignificant part of my heart around with you be careful 

(Also with the heavy implication that Boba was watching the whole thing... can you imagine him just looking on as Din throws himself down that gullet like a madman. There must have been some ‘o_-7 *headscratch headscratch* ???’ going on for him there)

it’s kind of sweet that din trusts vanth will take care of the baby if something happens though, they really bonded quickly huh 

- the sand people who kept willingly going over to the krayt dragon’s cave are honestly braver and more admirable than anyone else has ever been, I kept just shouting in anguish as they were gobbled up, they deserved better 

- can we talk about how clear it still is that Din’s just... lonely. When he thinks he’s found another Mando and he sounds almost reverent with relief... and then it gets odder and odder (’uh... drinks? I guess... does he have drinking straws with him or -- HE’S TAKING THE HELMET OFF???’ oh buddy)

I wonder if they’re building towards something about him realizing it doesn’t have to be Mandos for him to trust and bond with people longer term? Basically all the characters he’s met and we’ve watched him form attachments to and get help from are non-Mandos -- Kuiil :’^(, Cara, Omera, Cobb Vanth, IG-11 :^’’(, Greef Karga to a degree. Establishing so firmly what he’s looking for this early would be good setup for a ‘what a character thinks they want vs. what they need’ thing later on just on a writing level, anyway, Boba Fett could bring in some interesting points of view about Mandalorianness too   

- baby’s happy gurgles when he sees pelli!!!!!! din speaking sand people language and petting alligator doggies!!!!!!

- pedro pascal’s voice work remains an utter joy to me. din’s measured, earnest, occasionally slightly stilted way of talking is still so good, and then he does things like inserting some more... idk life is the wrong word but that more charged and dynamic tone he took on when he said (”I thought you weren’t a gambler”) “I’m not”. *chef kiss*

- if the pulse rifle’s stun is able to do that to a fuckn krayt dragon... that’s some serious shit din is carrying around with him lol (interestingly the actual shooty pew-pew part of it didn’t seem to do much to it, but then I guess he was shocking it from the inside out and not through thick hide, so idk)

- my only real complaints about this ep: Vanth’s backstory ran a bit long, and not enough baby & dad interaction. the concept art’s got me tho: 

 (din often wears his original/old armour in concept art still, incidentally, don’t know what that’s about)

awwwwwww

+ omfg ;______;

- this sand people person conscientiously brushing a bantha’s teeth... blessed

- Customary flame thrower report: there was a rare useful deployment of the flamethrower. Good job Mando’s flame thrower for furthering the field of diplomacy

ETA: I CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT TO MENTION THIS: DIN BEING COMFORTABLE(ISH) AROUND DROIDS NOW!!!! GROWTH????!?! IG-11 WE MISS YOU??????????

[acklesangel97]

Sad. Disappointed. Pissed off. Heartbroken. All the emotions. I just can’t believe they thought that was acceptable. I’ve got a few points to make.

* I just cannot get over the fact that not only they chose to kill Dean off but like THAT and THAT soon? Like, this man, this incredible man, has gone through SO much and suffered SO much and he’s just defeated god (didn’t even kill him, he spared him) so he can FINALLY live his life and be FREE and he barely gets to enjoy that before he meets his end at the hands of a fucking rusty nail sticking out of the wall?? NO! That’s fucked up! What even is that? He’s a hero! He should’ve died like a hero but not before he at least got to enjoy his life first. Or he could’ve retired cos god knows if anyone deserved to retire it was Dean Winchester. Just... a rusty nail? Really??

* And Dean’s death scene was so emotional, so heartfelt with some beautiful words and moments and I did cry a lot. But for me that scene, and even the scene at the end (and other scenes throughout the series involving the brothers) are ruined by w*ncesties. I feel like I can no longer appreciate Sam and Dean’s incredible bond and love for each other without thinking about them loving it for all the wrong reasons and making into something sick and twisted and thinking that they won and that their sick incest ship went canon. So they ruined that.

* WHY WASN’T CAS THERE??! It was established that he’s out of the empty, alive and well and helped Jack redesign heaven so why couldn’t he have appeared for one fucking minute?! I’m not even talking about destiel rn, Castiel was such an important and loved character on the show and saved the show more than once so why couldn’t he have been there? Greeted Dean in heaven? And after Bobby mention that Cas helped Jack, that was totally an opening for him to appear. Even if when Dean was driving he could’ve stopped when he found Cas, gave him a hug or something idk. Just so disrespectful to the character and to Misha.

* Now talking about destiel. I genuinely don’t think I would’ve been as disappointed in that finale if we didn’t get the “I love you” in 18. Cos before that, my hopes and expectations were LOW. I was expecting to be let down and to be sad. But then THAT happened and we were given hope and the show had a huge opportunity to make this finale iconic. Like the whole idea of Dean saving Cas from the Empty, raising Cas from perdition, coming full circle... that would’ve been incredible. What a story. But even just Cas meeting Dean in heaven would’ve sufficed. And they set it all up so perfectly for Dean to tell Cas he loves him too (I mean we all know he does anyway, we have eyes). Amazing character development. It would’ve been such a beautiful end to what can only be described as the greatest love story... I feel it was left so open-ended and incomplete cos Dean never got to say something back to Cas. And Cas was BARELY mentioned in the last 2 episodes. We were all annoyed at Jensen and Misha for not saying anything and saying 18 was Cas’ last scene and we didn’t believe them but they were just trying not to set us up to be disappointed. But alas, we are all clowns. Jensen even said he didn’t want to put Dean into a box and that he was open to all interpretations of that scene and how Dean felt, trying to give us some validation. So thanks for that boys, honestly. We should’ve listened.

* Why didn’t Sam end up with Eileen? Who tf was that random woman he married and had a kid with? I mean they wouldn’t even let the straight couple we all shipped be together?

* Maybe not quite as important but what was with that grey wig they gave Jared? And couldn’t they have tried to make his face look older?

* Also why did they bring back that random vampire from season 1 for like 30 seconds before killing her? Pointless.

* No one was at Dean’s funeral? Just Sam and Miracle? I know, Covid and all that but they surely could’ve gotten like Jody and Donna and a couple of the girls or other hunters they knew and stood socially distanced or something. Cos for all Dean’s died many times he’s never had a hunters funeral. Where’s the respect?

So yeah, not very pleased. At all. But this is what we’re stuck with. Can’t change it. Will I eventually make peace with it? Idk. I mean I have always said I would only be content if they were both dead in the end cos I couldn’t go on with my life wondering what one or both of them were up to or if they were ok. So it gave me closure in that sense. But they sort of dismissed the whole “family don’t end with blood” thing and the chosen family they made over the years and brought it back to just the brothers. And I get that Sam and Dean are at the heart of the show but the show became so much more than just them throughout the years. I think the beginning and the end were ok, I just didn’t like most of everything in the middle.

But SPN has introduced me to some wonderful people and an amazing fandom who are really like a crazy, dysfunctional family and I’ll always love it for that. It’s shaped so much of my life and who I am and it’s brought me a lot of joy and comfort over the years. I won’t abandon it or the fandom. And at the end of the day, there’s always fanfiction.

[skzshortcake]

Stray kids ship please! (P.S ILY ) I dont know if there are any guidelines for what to send in a ship so i decided to put my zodiacs, a description of my personality, and my aesthetic :)

Zodiacs: Sun: Cancer|Moon: Gemini|Mercury: Gemini|Venus: Gemini|Mars: Pisces|Saturn: Cancer

Personality description (courtesy of my best friend, dont ask me why he wrote a whole paragraph-): Alright so Grace is basically 50% goofball 50% sweetheart. Seriously shes sweeter than candy. Also shes like the funniest person alive, its like her mission in life to make everyone laugh and whenever she does she gets this big smile on her face and proceeds to make you lose your shit laughing even more. Also she laughs at like literally everything, so shes ALWAYS smiling. Shes super random, shell like randomly break out into song in the middle of the mall (THAT WAS ONLY LIKE 1 TIME DJDJ) or start dancing in the middle of an empty parking lot when its raining, also whenever an atmosphere gets too quiet or uncomfortable she’ll scream something off the top of her head. Mostly she’s a complete sweetheart tho. Like her family high-key sucks and never made her feel loved or comfortable with showing emotions straightforwardly so she mostly does it in subtle ways (like physical affection, gifts, acts of service, etc.) Shes insecure tho, and she wants to make sure you know she loves you, so she’ll try really hard to tell you through words sometimes. That always results in her stumbling over her words or stuttering or rambling (plus a very cute red face, i may be a very gay man but i still recognize a cutie pie when i see one.) And then she gets all flustered and starts apologizing and you kinda have to just let her know that hey, its okay, i know you tried and i understood, or itll never end. Also shes like a complete romantic. Like she helped my brother plan his wedding cuz she knew him and his fiance and she just lOVED IT and kept getting this big ole smile on her face whenever she saw them do something romantic (she always goes “awwwww” when she sees little kids running around holding hands or old couples being sweet.) Shes also like the most accepting person ever, like regardless of your sexuality or gender or race or religion, she doesnt care, she just sees you as human, which is refreshing. Her hobbies are basically anything involving art (she especially likes to sing and draw, her voice sounds like a literal angel) also she’s huge bookworm (especially dystopian fiction, she lives for that crap), and music is essentially her entire life. P.S: Say hi to ur fav blogs for me (alright ig Jay says hello).

Aesthetic I achieve (apparently, according to Jay I do, idk myself that well): Sunny days, sunflowers, daisies, picnics on a red plaid blanket, laughter, number 2 pencils, playful kisses, teddy bears with red ribbons, tea with honey, sun hats, striped shirts and denim jeans, buttered popcorn and caramel apples, bumblebees, waffles topped with blueberres and whipping cream and pancakes drizzled in strawberry syrup

-

oh my god you and your friend are just precious. tell him hi for me! 

I ship you with hyunjin!

I think he shows affection in the same way that you do, grace!

so I think you two would get along just fine!

hyunjin just loves you so much, he’s got this type of love for you that’s like “I adore you so much and you’re such a genuinely good person and i’m so proud of you and I want to be around you all the time.”

he loves your aesthetic so much and makes sure to take you out on dates that he knows will make you happy

like he’s out exploring in the city and finds a cute park with a hidden area where the sunlight peeks through the tree branches

and his first thought is “I need to bring grace here”

skz can tell that he’s just genuinely happy around you, you bring out the best in him

you make him want to jump for joy!

he wants to show his dancing and singing to you because he feels so appreciated when you take the time to watch him

sometimes he just lays on you and won’t move

he’s just so comfortable in your presence 

but he does kinda want to baby you a bit too!

hyunjin seems to me like he wants someone who will let him take care of them but still be a bit independent

so he shows his affection by texting you with lots of emojis! and through helping you with the little things like dishes or cleaning your room because he loves your reaction when you fake punch him and tell him he didn’t have to

he just giggles and his eyes form cute crescent moons as he pulls you into a hug

“I just love helping you, sweetie!”

he’s always around you, you play video games together, you eat together (and when you’re not together it’s over facetime), you sing together, you read together anything! (ps he really wants to see your art, he adores everything you to and will promote your art so much!!)

nicknames he would call you:

sweetie, baby

a date you would go on:

picnic date in the park!

he takes you to that little secluded area and lays out a pretty blanket for you. he wants to take plenty of pictures of you with the sunlight and your cute straw hat. and he even went out and bought fruit smoothies for you both! he probably talks with you for a bit until you’re both tired and then you lean on him while he plays videos on his phone.

honorable mention: jisung!

[aenslem]

What do you think about Adam and Lilith?

im kinda not sure why you ask ME what i think about them cause ya know… i already said i don’t ship them  idk if you saw it but anyway I don’t think about them at all lmao but now i have to??/ i guess to answer this huh

i tried to answer to it a few times already and idk how to do it without going into much details or write it so i don’t get 1246 messages of how horrible i am for doing it just because i ship something else??? like, you ok? so here i go writing a lot which has 0 sense and idk you asked you get it

if you followed me since 2018, since i started watching caos, you would know that i don’t like the way adam was introduced in the show. at all. I am fine with adam being there, i have nothing against him and him and lilith together, even though i ship madam spellman, it doesn’t mean i automatically hate other ships and i kinda feel like that’s what everyone thinks while throwing stupid asks in my inbox or just writing about madam spellman shippers in general out there. 

the show itself stated (and i already mentioned it somewhere here) that mary wardwell lives alone, that she is alone, that was right in the first episode. no adam was mentioned before, nothing indicated his existence at all. so yes, when they said there will be mary’s fiance it was like “what? what the fuuuuck?” so this is the main issue i have with adam being there. if they, at least once, slightly, mentioned his existence - i would not throw tantrums about adam :D

and you know what? it took few episodes, a lot of time when you have just 9 episodes in part 2, so i don;’t think writers did not know what to write in part 2 and came up with this idea AFTER part 1, as we know it’s all just s1 and most of it should be written or at least the main ideas of it should be there in the beginning, if it was something small then yes, but it was not small thing, if so, then i think they just don’t know what they do with characters and what to do with them now, and we can get any possible shit in part 3 and 4. i mean, they have to have some kind of an idea of where they go with main characters…

and while yeah, i can excuse this with “this is caos, when they did something right at all???” but i should not, writers should do it so we don’t have such a plotholes. 

and if anyone goes here with: if you don’t enjoy don’t watch i will find you lmao 

i enjoy caos, i hate it but enjoy :’D it’s difficult 

so, to adam and lilith. 

adam himself is… meh :D he could be more, but he was there just to make lilith’s character deeper, he was… a tool. ok, i always write something is “meh” but never explain what does it mean. i mean he is not worth of my attention, he is there but i don’t care, he was not interesting enough for me to like him or hate him, he is just there. i just don’t feel anything towards this character… if he was something in the show without lilith, then maybe i would like him? yeah, he was nice and all, but also was not?? i did not like him kissing mary just because they are in relationship, even if you are in a relationship it doesn’t mean you go and kiss the other person when they clearly don’t want it. on the other hand he really tried to be nice, dinner and all, he at least bought flowers lmao at first i was really like ready to hate him because i will never stop going about it - he never existed before! and appears from nowhere. but somehow he was not that horrible to hate him :’D some scenes were funny, some were just to make it clear what lilith thinks about something like marriage, can’t remember but i guess he said back then that they will not do anything she is not comfortable with - which is like GOOD, you dude grow up, thanks. but i am glad he was not there to have funny scenes only. 

also, yes, lately i am so tired of hetero shit on screen that anything which is hetero is automatically OH FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE - AGAIN??? so i was not expecting anything here, only hate towards it all :D but i guess, since i was like that, that is exactly why i did not hate it. not good enough to love but i was not expecting anything good, so whatever it was - it was not bad. it was funny in some scenes, mostly because michelle gomez has incredible facial expressions and also, you can clearly see - she enjoys playing with another human being. oh poor thing, give michelle people to play with :’D 

as someone who is here because they love michelle and lilith, i look at adam from the side of how he affected lilith. and again, he would not be there at all without lilith, he would be nothing in the show, he would have nothing to do, he was just a tool for another character’s arc. I loved seeing her like that, not entirely, but most of the time, like she was not doing shit for dark lord, was not preparing herself to meet him, she was just drinking tea/coffee, doing school job, sitting peacefully, i loved seeing her smile. not that mischivious one, or that one where you realize, that’s it, that woman’s gonna kill me bye bye :D but that warm smile, let michelle gomez smile more!

let her play female joker

i mean no, not that kind of smile but it’s not a bad idea :’D dc take note

if adam and lilith would become a thing and dark lord would not kill him, i guess i would not care for the ship, i would not be against it, it would be just there. not my type of a ship… like there’s lois lane and clark kent and i don’t give a shit about them, they are there and let them be, they don’t touch me, i don’t touch them lmao but i do realize how much lois means to clark, so yes, i do realize adam means something for lilith, and i don’t erase it because i ship something else, there’s this thing… idk what it’s called, it’s when you ship something and ship another thing also, or just don’t hate it because you ship the first thing. aham, good thing by the way, ya all could use it.

there was this theory here, can’t remember who wrote it tho, that adam never existed at all and it was all dark lord’s plan to see if lilith is still on his side or something or torture her, good one, that would be such a great if it was real in the show, cause that would explain why he never existed before. and it would not erase her growth that we see, that soft (sOFT?) side of her, that domestic mother of demons/queen of hell side which walks on heels in her own house in the middle of the night to drink some water :D. it would be unfair to her, but dark lord already killed adam and made her eat him, so what could be worse?  i really did not want her to suffer that much :( she deserves so much better that what she gets… 

honestly, life is unfair to lilith so much, she was there all the time for dark lord, she did everything for him and he did not even hold his promise, he just gives the throne to someone who doesn’t even want it and clearly doesn’t deserve it, just because you are a daughter of the king doesn’t mean you deserve the throne. lilith really worked for it, she earned it! she deserves the crown and the throne. she was there for lucifer for so long and he just uses her… and once she gets something nice, something good, it’s taken away so brutally! so yeah, if adam never existed and was just dark lord’s manipulation of lilith, then yeah, it’s much worse but again, he already made her eat adam… none of other characters get so much shit in this show. if they make lilith suffer more i swear i will buy ticket and find them all and i will go to them with a chainsaw. 

anyway, i saw people going miles writing how madam spellman shippers are all like: lilith never loved adam for real. like i have not seen those shippers myself but somehow i saw everyone else writing how bad MS shippers are… like yes, we have idiots around, but which ship doesn’t have such an idiots? like dude, why do you even care? ship your ship and be happy lmao same goes for everyone, stop fucking fighting over something that doesn’t even exist. canon or not? why do you care, it’s all fiction in the end. just because your ship is canon doesn’t allow you to tell everyone else to shut up about something that is not. can we all just ship whatever we want and have fun??? like, if you can’t laugh at your own ship - then honey, you have a problem. like, i will be the first one making shitty jokes about madam spellman :’D wait, i already do it.  you can love something without being too serious, it can bring you joy and happiness, but you don’t have to ruin it with all the shit. 

be smart ffs everyone: IGNORE WHAT YOU DON’T LIKE, block it, scroll down, stop spreading hate. 

and ya know, if you say that YOU DON’T WANT TO INSULT SOMEONE/YOU DON’T HATE IT BUUUUUUUUT… and then go miles writing how you hate it and insult someone doesn’t mean that doesn’t count as an insult, just because in the beginning you stated that you don;t want to insult or you don’t hate it. you do! i don’t really remember what it’s called but it has a name…  

anyway

i can’t say she loved him, he was nice to her, he tried to make her happy, but i don’t believe in love which happens so fast, and events were going really fast in those parts. so i think she enjoyed that there’s someone who cares for her finally, and she cared for adam for sure, she liked him, he was someone who finally was good to her, something that did not happen for a loooong time. so yeah, taking it away from her was really unfair and i hate everyone for it.  but loved? not sure. bUT she was totally ready to give it a chance.

also, don’t comment, it was my opinion and i don’t need a conversations about anything here. you asked you get it. don’t throw your opinions here, don’t reblog to add what you think, make your own posts for it. please.  

[fireeaglespirit]

@fireeaglespirit @viviane-lefay i do worry sometimes with the stories I write if things might be too much for you. To be fair I dont think in any fanfic Ive ever written anything too explicit but now Im so conscious of other people’s viewpoints and being inclusive that it is a concern. Ultimately I write what I want to/need to but I am aware it might not be for all tastes hence always trying to follow ratings etc.

Replying here so it doesn’t cause any problems with OP, etc..

Ohh. I’m sorry if this worried you.. tbh this was very random and I wasn’t even thinking about fiction when I rb this. This one reminded me of a few times I went out with friends and colleagues and I just felt starkly asexual, lmao

About my tolerance regarding sex and explicitly in fiction, I’ll be honest with you…

There’s hardly anything I could say I wouldn’t read about. I just don’t feel ‘triggers’ or anything of the sort, no hard feelings when it gets to fiction and I value your will to be conscious of other viewpoints but its practically impossible to cater to all tastes like you said, so don’t worry about it much… there’s always someone out there who will feel offended and others who will fiercely love it.

As for myself, I’m very tolerant to sexual content in fiction, idk? I don’t seek it out particularly but its not a deal breaker either.

I know some asexual people are less tolerant, I usually just get a ‘meh’ feeling whenever those subjects are touched in much detail, idk some works do get nasty and bothersome because of much detail involving sexual practices so I just give up on them or put them aside when they bring me no joy but I gladly consume material with sex on it as long as I like some aspects of it. Also, I’m good at ignoring or glossing over things I don’t like in fiction… when I read explicit scenes with intercourse it does nothing to me and my eyes focuses on the sentences I loved such as regarding the feelings between the characters and subtle interactions instead of the physical/carnal aspects of it, and this makes it all worthy it.

Even so, some works might become overwhelmingly depressive or repulsive so I might put them aside even if I enjoyed an aspect of it or I might just skip through them and this happened recently to a series of fantasy books I tried to read which were actually really good but they were so overwhelmingly and unnecessarily dark and had an horrid oppressive atmosphere towards women an sex so I just felt no joy reading them? Its not like I was traumatized by its tone but it felt like a chore and I couldn’t care about it further and no character inspired me whatsoever that the world could change for the better, so I dropped them.

But its not like I’m judging it, I just feel weirded out to some things and I just imagine the kind of mind that takes upon themselves the chore to write a whole series of book which has nothing but suffering and misery in them, especially concerning women, lol. We already had this shit in history and still have in some places in the world so I kinda feel like its not interesting for me to read about it in a fictional setting, especially if I don’t feel like the writer is going to challenge the setting.

But I’m aware most people are much more sensitive… these things can be horrid for those who are more sensitive, and perhaps my own asexuality protects me from feeling it fully as I don’t even think of myself as a being capable of partaking in this (weird, I know), so I have problem even projecting.

But I did felt really strongly for the way women were oppressed absurdly and had their agency completely obliterated, so that sparked a sort of empathy or kinship in me which made progress in such book a chore…

You got my point and this just illustrates a bit my relationship to fiction and things that irk me since you were interested in my opinion… I have another example of fantasy book with lots of sex in it:

I read asoiaf even thought its full of sexual stuff but I don’t feel joy at these parts, yet the work is so good on other themes that I ignore it for the most part… but even so, recently I’ve read F&B and it was kinda overwhelming on the sexist aspect with myriads of female characters turned into child brides and raped and dying at their childbirth repeatedly it just got very tiresome and repetitive near the end, because there where almost no counterpoints to it, unlike in the main series where the situation is dire for women but we have characters challenging it more often and idk. F&B just lacked on that front.

So, this shows a bit my sensitivity towards sex is more related to sexism and the feeling that women are confined to their reproductive aspects: motherhood, childbearing, marriage, sensuality, etc.. I don’t have a problem with sexual intercourse per se as you can see, but that’s from my unique point of view and I know some asexuals are more repulsed towards it, but you asked my opinion…

So, if its consensual sex: its not my cup of tea but I don’t feel like its a deal breaker…

Just to give you a positive sex example: when I see an OTP of mine getting to the point of having sex I think its pretty sweet, like when Jon and Dany consummated their love on that boat… I was happy for them, for all that it means, the symbolism between the union of ice and fire and just two characters which I love dearly, finding happiness and comfort in each other. What’s not to love about it??

This is a rare stance I can say I saw a pair I ship get to that point xD

I love shipping as you know, but its more about the psychological aspects and potential for character development and even when I’m reading fanfic about my OTPs I enjoy more the angst and symbolism than the ‘hot’ parts which usually just makes me go ‘meh’ (again).

So this makes me say: when sex is the focus of works I could feel like I’m too asexual for this, even if it regards an OTP, it just doesn’t have a very exciting effect on me or I’m not explicitly interested in this part of a relationship, when so many other things caught my eye… sometimes subtle interactions and dialogue and and gentle approximation (touches, caresses, kissing, etc..) is so much more exciting for me to read about than the ‘thing’ itself, lol.

To sum it up: when its there just for p*rn or even worse, shock value it just makes me go ‘meh’ or ‘ugh’ or ‘uhh why am I even reading this?’

This reminds me of Vivi’s take on the ‘hiero gamos’, in this case I just say I might even enjoy the theme as long as the scenes involving sex are meaningful and passionate and the aspect I value the most about them are sublime and platonic instead of carnal but I’m aware the carnal aspects are very important for the characters and the audience so I also worry when I get to show my stories people will think they lack sexual content ^^  I get you.

Now that you know my feelings towards sex in fiction, to a broader sense I just wanted to say..

There’s no way to guess people’s sensitives but it doesn’t mean you need to walk on eggshells afraid to trigger people all the time, hell no! I’m all for freedom of creation. At least around me there are no metaphorical ‘eggshells’.

Everyone has their own set of opinions which makes them unique, not just me, I mean…  even so I will let my snowflake syndrome show but I’m quite peculiar if you could say, so I sort of grew a strong ‘carapace’ towards the world as I deal with people with completely different views and values on a daily basis which might make me have inflamed political opinions while at the same time, I’m very flexible and forgiving when it comes to fiction in general.

I don’t expect much of the population to be like this so I’m also self conscious when it gets to writing my own stuff because I know people can feel very strongly about it and you’ve seen the way fandom reacts to minor things and bash creators when they perceive flaws in their work… I’m just not a judgmental person, its not in my nature. I just ignore things in fiction if I don’t like and I became even more relaxed over time in regards to this all, lol I nearly reached a ‘nirvana’ as I don’t even feel strongly negative feelings in regard to this.

Snarky and bitter comments from time to time? Yes… but no hard feelings. RL needs my hatred, lol so I don’t have it to spare with fiction any longer.

Anyway, on an unrelated sub note… as you might have noticed, I don’t feel comfortable about current fandom trends and specially policing, and with reason as this gets very serious and quick with literally ‘wave chain reactions’ of hatred sparked apparently from nowhere. I hope people could create more freely instead of the political correct police and restraining of creativity we have now. It was good for a while and I’m all for diversity and change in status quo (for the better), but I think this has gone too far and I perceive a lot of rigidity in fiction right now due to fear of fandom backlash we have creators afraid to make their thing and afraid it isn’t ‘inclusive or progressive’ enough… so they bend themselves endlessly until fandom ‘approves’ them, but even so someone is bound to scream and say the work is offensive and the cycle of hatred is restarted.

I know this reply was like a huge egocentric monologue and I strained with non related issues at the end, but you asked my thought on this so I tried to convey it with detail.. including things related to the perception we have concerning fictional themes and I just kinda had to vent at some parts of it.

etc…. This doesn’t mean I forbid judgment from others or criticism or that I forbid people from harshly criticizing works of fiction, just that sometimes it gets more harmful than beneficial and scare people off, and I felt like saying that.

Anyway,,, just want to say nonetheless I find it very sweet and considerate that you are taking different opinions in mind while writing, but you don’t need to worry at least from my part, and I don’t think you ever got even close to being explicit in your writings so there’s absolutely nothing to worry about.

[velvet-tread]

I wanted to get your perspective because you ship it and most of us have bias against it. Do you think Bell loves Echo as much as Clarke? I think he’s in love with her but does he love her as much or will he possibly discover in s5 that he doesn’t love her as much???Not trying to cheapen becho’s loving relationship, just wanted your thoughts.

Nonny -  you did not ask for part of the below to bean essay on Why Becho Are In Love Goddammit, so I apologise to you bc I knowyou said it in the ask. But to everyone else I’m not sorry because I loved writingit all and I WANTED TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST OKAY.

Good evening Nonny, and thank you for your interesting andwell-constructed ask. Judging by some of the rhetoric I’ve seen over the pastfew days, there’s a very real risk of people throwing up in their mouths overwhat follows so I hope everyone remembers to floss and brush afterwards.  Look after your tooth enamel kids, it can’tbe replaced.

So. Let’s begin.

I very much agree with you: Bellamy and Echo are in lovewith one another.

WAIT – HOLD YOUR SICKBAGS – THERE’S MORE.

Not only are Bellamy and Echo in love with one another butit is explicit between them.  That’sright friends, I am 100% sure that Bellamy and Echo have done that. No not that, although yes also that and lots of times upside down andprobably sideways too. No I mean they’ve done the Big ILU.

Why do I think that? A number of reasons but let’s startwith the storytelling.

If I were to construct a story in which one of myprotagonists falls back to Earth and immediately falls into conflict with arelative, another protagonist, let’s say a beloved sister, I would want thatconflict to mean something.  In fact, I’dwant it to mean the most.  And if that conflict was related to a romanticrelationship that one of these protagonists had, I would want all of those relationshipsto have high stakes so that I could really milk all the emotional impact of thechoices these protagonists make.

You know what doesn’t have high stakes? Lukewarmquasi-relationships in which nobody – or only one person - is truly invested.

And you know, if I were to really go to town on thisbrother-sister YOU CAN’T DATE [X] BECAUSE [REASONS] storyline, I may alsoconsider echoing a previous relationship that the other sibling had, which hadsimilarly high stakes and over which the two siblings nearly destroyed eachother.

See, I’ve seen the argument that Echo is a lot more intoBellamy that he is into her, and from a character perspective there’s a slimpossibility I’d buy it if it weren’t for the fact that we know that the show is setting up some kind of conflict betweenthe Blakes – in which Bellamy needs to actually give a personal shit about hisrelationship with Echo - or a complication between Bellamy and Echo thatultimately splits them up, which, again, requires Bellamy to feel that loss ifit if there’s to be any point to it at all.

And if, for example, I was also planning to break out an arcfor a character who hadn’t really had one before, for whom the audience hasonly really viewed through the prism of the protagonist POV, I would want that character’s relationshipwith my protagonist to reach its peak before I take her solo. Echoliterally breaking free of the chains of being something to Bellamy?  Howvery meta.

So, from that narrative start point, if the show wants toconvince me that Bellamy and Echo’s relationship doesn’t have very high stakesfor them both, it’s going to have to work quite hard.

Which it does not.

Of course we all have our own personal experiences whichshape our perception of what “love” and “not in love” looks like.  But for me? Bellamy and Echo in 501 is whatpeople in love look like.  By which Imean physical and emotional intimacy, touching, eye contact, openness, synchronicityof movement, comfort, understanding, tenderness and, most importantly,communication.

Because what struck me about their introduction to us as acouple is that clearly, this is not the first time Bellamy and Echo havediscussed what their relationship means. This wasn’t, we’re going to the ground, don’t you think we ought to talkabout what we even are?  This was: youknow that thing we talked about?  Willthat change now we’re going to the ground? I’m scared. (and my babies, youshould be)

All of which, by the way is 100% the way loving, emotionallyopen stable long-term relationships work, or should do.  Defining yourselves as a unit and constantlyadapting to the changing dynamic is a thing that happens in long-termrelationships. It’s a sign of confidence, not a lack of it. Which kiiiiiind ofleads me back to what I was saying in my original post about multishipping, inthat the point of Bellamy being in a relationship at all is the show punchingus with BELLAMY IS HAPPY, BELLAMY IS STABLE, BELLAMY IS IN LOVE, ALL OF THIS ISABOUT TO BLOW UP IN HIS FACE.

So, now that everyone has emptied their stomachs I’m goingto move on to Bellarke, and s5.

I’m going to find this hard to extrapolate, and I may needto revisit this after the Bellarke reunion because I feel Becho very much atmand Bellarke seems a bit…idk abstract?  ButI know when I see them reunite I’ll want to break through space and time and physically make them smoosh their preciousfaces together.

Ahem.

So, you’ll have noticed that I spent a great deal of timeabove pointing out how Bellamy and Echo’s relationship looks like a normalloving long-term relationship. Now Bellarke, Bellarke is not that, not yet. Butthe thing is, it doesn’t matter. What Bellarke has is what I’d describe ascosmic. I don’t think it would matter where they were in the world, or whatsituation they were in, if they knew the other was alive they’d gravitatetowards each other.  They’d always seekeach other out. In many ways, I don’t think they’re even conscious of it, orcan help it very much.  It’s like a pullneither of them can resist, a presence that never leaves.

And the thing is, that while that is a very romantic idea andfrankly electric to watch on screen, it’s also quite scary. Their dependence oneach other and need for each other is life-affirming, yes.  But it is also TERRIFYING for them both.Losing each other, or even the thought of losing each other, has driven themhalf mad in the past and pushed them to do crazy things.

Whereas Becho – and I mean this in a good way -  is very muchabout choice. No, they didn’t choose to be stranded in space together, but theychose to forgive each other, put their animosity aside.  They chose to do whatever it was they did(headcanon time: war stories and mythology, sparring and trig lessons) thatmade them bond.  They chose their relationshipframework. They chose love.  And I like that.  

It’s mundane, but its life-affirming too in its own way andit is every bit as valid as Bellarke’s crashing-through-the-universenot-talking-about-it shitshow.

(Incidentally, this is one of the reasons I’m so in lovewith the time jump and Bellarke being separate but OK – breaking them out ofthe spiral they were in, and giving them enough joy in their lives to let themmake active choices about who they are to each other).

But I do thinkBellamy’s love for Echo is very context dependent.  Did you ever have a friend that was a part ofyour life during a certain time? Those friends can be some of the most intense,meaningful relationships you have.  Butwhen you move out of your shared context, you drift apart. I think that is whatcould happen with Bellamy and Echo.  Ithink that being back on Earth could bring all of the reasons for theiroriginal antagonism back to the surface. They could find it hard to reclaimtheir dynamic with the ghosts of who they used to be  - Clarke, Octavia and Azgeda – real andpresent and in front of them.

I think the stories they chose to tell themselves about eachother and their lives on earth (stories like “my sister will forgive you”), thestories that made the love they built possible, could start to dissolve as the realityof Earth sets in.

PREDICTION TIME: In short, I think the Bellamy we see inspace will not be the Bellamy we have by the end of the season.  And that Bellamy won’t be able to love Echoin the way Space!Bellamy could, and I don’t think Earth!Echo will be able tolove Earth!Bellamy in that way either.

I won’t make a value judgement because all love is valid. Ithink Bellamy will love Clarke with the same intensity – even if they neverbecame romantic - until one or both of them are on a funeral pyre. But I thinkhe’s more than capable of loving someone else fully at the same time and for itto mean something. Love is not a finite pool.