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filmmakerdreamst · 1 year ago

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“Life with Derek” is Back Again!

Life with Luca is a hour and a half spin-off movie based on the 2000’s Canadian Sitcom Life with Derek, set eighteen years after its predecessor. The story follows two step-siblings, Casey McDonald (Ashley Leggat), now a court lawyer and mother of three. And Derek Venturi (Michael Seater), now a successful musician in Paris and a single dad. As history repeats itself, they both have rebellious fourteen year old teenagers, pushing their buttons. So in order to get a break, they both have the idea of dropping them off with their grandparents for their anniversary, and to their surprise, they end up meeting each other instead. With help, they figure out how to co-parent their kids together for a weekend, and hijinks naturally ensue.

The original show Life with Derek was all about a blended family. In which two teenage step-siblings, Casey and Derek (the eldest children in the household and equally self absorbed), clash; fighting each other to take control of the house, their younger siblings, their school and their world.

The episodes consisted of simple, domestic family antics, containing smart jokes that would make adults and children alike laugh. The storylines were mature enough for teenagers to be interested but not so mature that it would put children off from watching.

Life with Derek was a show that prided itself in being character driven and more realistic than some of the family shows that was airing around that time, especially on networks such as Disney Channel.

However, it became well known and successful to this day for the slow burning subtextual “love affair” between the two step-siblings, Casey and Derek which undoubtedly acted as the backbone of the series. And the reason why it got picked up for a reboot fifteen years after the final episode aired.

When I first read the premise of Life with Luca (when the announcement came out that they were going to make a Life with Derek reboot in 2020), I was immediately judgemental as often reboots can erase character growth. It just seemed like another manufactured money making remake (a copy for the next generation) rather than an actual continuation of the original show.

And while the movie does have alot of tropes repeated from the original i.e. Casey and Derek’s kids Skyler and Luca clash from the beginning, two families not really knowing each other previously merging for the first time etc. The writers had the ability to make these tropes most importantly character driven and natural so the audience didn’t notice the similarities so much. And when they did, it’s treated as a familiar nod rather than a direct copy.

Luca and Skyler

Part of the fun of the original was the ongoing romantic tension between Casey and Derek, and I was worried we were going to have a repeat of that with their kids, Luca and Skyler but thankfully the casting and writing department was alot more thorough. And while they do clash at the beginning, its presented more of a culture clash because of how they were raised, and it evolved into a familial relationship quite quickly. I loved watching their bonding moments.

They managed to keep the core message from the original ‘of family and building a family even when you hate your situation at the beginning’. I felt they did a good job of mirroring that message with Luca and Skyler.

Out of the two, I felt like Skyler was the more fleshed out. The casting for her was amazing, she looks just like Derek’s daughter. I loved how, even though she was clearly meant to be the ‘Casey character’ — organised and dramatic — she still had her own vibe. She had the carefree attitude and style from Derek’s parenting, but still was able to be responsible as she essentially raised herself.

Luca, (the ‘Derek’ character) the more rebellious counterpart, is suggested to be acting out due to his chaotic home life, rather than that’s just “how he is” unlike Derek who was labelled as the bad guy from the start. He’s still very much Casey’s son as he doesn’t have some of the toxic masculinity that Derek possessed in the original show. And he has a few neurotic tendencies from her style of parenting as well. But I almost feel we didn’t get enough of him.

If and when Life with Luca does get picked up as a TV Series later on, it would be nice to flesh out his character alot more (and hers), because there was clearly alot of conflict that the two of them both had, his dad working overseas and her mum having a bran new family, that can’t really be fleshed out thoroughly in a hour and a half film.

George and Nora

George and Nora’s plot was by far the most ridiculous (hint, jewel thief car chase), but I loved seeing them on screen again. It was nice to see how their relationship was still going strong after all this time. Along with their cameo, there were some other great ones such as Sam and Mr Lassiter. It was a shame we didn’t get to see the rest of the blended family such as Edwin and Lizzie and Marti, even for a second at the anniversary party at the end. But I understand the screenwriters wanted to save that for a TV Series later on, so they could be fully explored more.

Simon

Simon, the youngest of the McDonald-Venturi’s (that was a storyline for the last two episodes of the original) was by far my favourite addition to the film. This was surprising, since that storyline in Life with Derek wasn’t exactly my favourite around the time of watching because I don’t necessarily agree that the step-family gaining a shared child made them “a proper family”. Thankfully, Life with Luca proved me wrong as he was so lovable. I loved how he was a perfect mix of both of the McDonalds and the Venturi’s, but mostly the Venturi’s as he was so clumsy.

Casey and Derek

As always, the strongest parts of the movie, were when they were focusing on Casey and Derek, individually and together. I loved how they went with careers that naturally meshed with their personalities. Casey being a married lawyer in Toronto and Derek being a travelling musician in Paris with his daughter as a best friend. Watching Derek be a parent was amazing, especially since he was shown to be really good with kids in the original.

When the two finally meet up again, the audience can see that their friendship has definitely progressed; they have finally learnt to respect one another even though they haven’t spoken one on one for a long time. But they still maintained their comedic banter. It was refreshing to see that character growth. It was nice that it hadn’t backtracked in typical reboot fashion for the sake of drama/entertainment since that relationship was the core of why the original worked.

Now in the original show, Life with Derek, it was never confirmed that Casey and Derek had romantic feelings for each other, but there was alot of speculation by the fans, because of all the subtext going on throughout the series.

The actors, Michael Seater and Ashley Leggat, put a rest to some of the speculation in 2016 and confirmed in a article by MTV that because ‘the fans were so into Casey and Derek being a couple, [they] would find subtext in their lines to give the fans what they desire’

Life with Derek was primarily about the first four years that they [Casey and Derek] lived together. Their relationship mostly consisted of an antagonistic push and pull/tug of war even though at the end of the day, they were always there for each other when it really counted. Even though Casey and Derek claimed to dislike each other, it was very clear that the two had developed a deep bond over the course of the series.

However, Casey and Derek’s relationship in Life with Luca is interesting in a way that they’re no longer in a “sibling dynamic” in which they were previously forced into. Mostly because they’re no longer teenagers and the fact that they’ve barely interacted or lived together in eighteen years since life both took them in very different directions. Which creates a paradox in itself.

It’s this incredibly grey area throughout the movie where they’re adjusting to each other again, slipping into their old bickering, confiding in each other about parenthood, all while transitioning into a mum and dad dynamic while they’re co-parenting the children they had with other people.

Before the movie came out, I was positive, because of the criticisms and hype surrounding the show and the pairing, that the writers were going to diminish the potential of a romance between the characters in fear of backlash. For example, have Casey in a happy marriage, Derek dating around and eventually gain a love interest at the end of the film. Also, trying to make their relationship as “Sibling- Esque” as possible.

Even though I knew from the premise of the reboot, that they were going to move in together, and there would be a few romantic undertones scattered in for the fans, I’d thought they’d play it off more as an “aunt and uncle babysitting the kids”.

But the opposite ended up happening. Casey has an absent husband who continuously leaves her and her kids alone while he plays hockey over seas — breaking his promises that he was going to retire before their kids were teenagers. Derek supposedly hasn’t dated anyone in fourteen years nor mentions flirting with other women. He even has a distant relationship with his daughters mum.

The moment Derek comes, he almost takes ‘the role of her husband’ as he sees Casey isn’t doing so well. He does the cooking for their kids — Casey even mentions that her husband does all the cooking while Derek is preparing dinner — babysits her little ones, attempts to calm Casey down when she’s getting too stressed, helps arrange an anniversary party for their parents so she’s able to get on with her work. And even though, they are referred as “Aunt” and “Uncle” in the movie, it’s also made apparent that they’re essentially “Mum and Dad” to their children as well.

One of Casey’s little ones, Molly even makes a “catch it or you’ll miss it” comment to Derek’s kid in one scene “I wish we were cousins AND sisters.”

Their last scene together at the end of the movie, Casey comes up to Derek saying ‘You’re gonna come home again soon, before the kids go to university?’ in which Derek heavily implies that he wants to move into her guest house to potentially raise their kids together, making a direct parallel to her husband not retiring from hockey and coming home from Europe, even after their kids grew up.

That moment is possibly why I came out from watching the movie thinking ‘If Casey and Derek don’t get together after this; then it’s bad writing’ because their scenes in the reboot didn’t feel like random “fanservice moments” like in the original; it felt like a genuine setup for a romance. Even if it can’t be written explicitly, due to the network, it is the most logical ending for their characters and the movie just made that ending seem even more inevitable.

Despite my enjoyment of Life with Luca, and overall it being a Great Comeback of a 2000’s Classic — it’s not a movie that can really work on its own. Finishing it left me feeling unsatisfied and wanting more. It felt very much like an introduction than a complete product. Its very apparent they made this movie so it could be picked up as a TV series later on, since there is alot of plot threads that are unexplored, unfinished or left open.

Life with Luca is not a reunion movie. It’s only page one.

“Life with Derek” is Back Again! by Ellie Hersey

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ejzah · 1 year ago

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No Matter How Far You Run, We’ll Draw You Back Again, Part 3

***

The thing that most people didn’t understand was that Max existed on a spectrum. There was the Max who charmed Nicole and Monica. He wasn’t beyond a little cheating, lying, and stealing, but he’d probably be classified as a “bad boy” more than anything. Then there was the version who wasn’t beyond beating up a guy over some information or threatening his girl.

This job required the version of Max Deeks hated most. The one who had few boundaries and wasn’t afraid to get violent when his intelligence and sly words didn’t do the trick. He had a few boundaries and something akin to morals, but he rarely let those get in the way of what he wanted.

It was that Max who sauntered towards an unassuming brick building. He’d gone with a suit for the first meet, wanting to start off on even footing with the leader of the trafficking ring, Tobias Mason.

By all accounts, Mason kept his men in line with the knowledge that if any of them stepped out of line, it was probably the last mistake they’d ever make. Deeks didn’t have any doubts about that reputation either. The entire reason he was able to step in was because his predecessor had met an untimely end after some staged photos of him meeting with a rival had made their way to Mason. Deeks would feel worse about being inadvertently responsible for another man’s death, if it weren’t for the fact that the guy was nearly as bad as Mason.

Shifting his shoulders into the cloak of cockiness that was so key to Max, and tapped twice on the metal door at the back of the building. It was answered by a tall man with a leathery face, dull blue eyes, and a buzz cut.

“I have an appointment with Mr. Mason,” Deeks said, when the man said nothing. He patted Deeks down, not taking any of the weapons on his person, before he stepped back and jerked his head for Deeks to come inside.

Deeks followed him through a series of rooms, separated by partial walls. Old machinery littered some of the floors, but it was clear the building hadn’t been used for its original purpose for some time. Finally, they stopped in front of a small office, and knocked before swinging the door open.

There were three men inside; one seated at a desk, and the other two flanking either side, and all obviously armed.

“Mr. Gentry, I presume,” the man at the desk drawled, standing slowly.

“Max is fine,” Deeks answered, casually looking around the room. It was barebones, with just enough to get by for meetings like this.

“So, Mr. Gentry, how did you hear about my little business?” Mason asked, grabbing a bottle of whiskey and two glasses from one of the desk drawers. He poured a small amount of bourbon into each glass.

“A mutual acquaintance, Mr. Henson, mentioned you were down a man,” Deeks responded easily. “Though I might be able to help out.”

“You look different than the pictures I’ve seen.” Mason gave him a once over, lingering over Deeks’ hair, and face, his suit.

“I’m good at adapting to a situation. And staying out of sight of cameras.” Deeks nodded significantly at Mason. “Something I think you’d appreciate.”

“Mm. Why don’t you tell me a little about your prior activities,” Mason said, offering Deeks one of the glasses. Deeks considered it for a moment, the shook his head.

“I don’t drink unless I open the bottle. And I certainly don’t feel the need to brag about my work. If you need that, I’ll go somewhere else.”

Mason’s eyes tightened at Deeks refusal, and Deeks felt a hint of disquiet, hoping that the mission wasn’t already going downhill this quickly. He stared back, not giving any sign that he was even slightly intimidated by the other man.

Fingers twitching on the glass, Mason regarded Deeks for another moment, and then let out a burst of sharp laughter.

“You’re brave, Max. I like that. For now.” Placing both glasses to the side, he gestured to either man beside him. “This is Baker and Torrin,” he continued. “Baker, show Max where he’ll be staying for the night.”

Baker, the larger and taller of the stepped forward. He had thick black hair and neatly trimmed facial hair that might have given a warmth to his face if not for his equally dark and hard eyes.

Mason moved towards the door, gesturing towards Deeks in a clear message that it was time for him to leave.

“I’ll expect you back here in the morning at 8.”

As Deeks passed through the door, he saw Mason lean in to whisper something to Baker.

“I think I can find my way home,” Deeks said once he and Baker were outside. He had no illusion that he’d be making contact with anyone from NCIS or the FBI tonight, but he didn’t like the idea of Mason or the others knowing where he stayed. The less they could piece about him, the better.

Out of the corner of his eye, Deeks caught a hint of movement, and reacted instinctually, spinning out of reach of Baker as he pulled a knife on him. He felt the faintest sting of the blade against his wrist.

“That’s a hell of a welcome to the office surprise,” he breathed.

“This isn’t a joke,” Baker growled, his eyes glittering at Deeks as he pointed the knife at him. “You do what we say, when we say. You try to be smart and you’ll pay the price.”

Deeks stilled for a moment, hands in the air. Then he kicked out with one foot, hitting Baker squarely in the abdomen; as the man fell, Deeks caught him around the neck, spinning him so his back was against Deeks’ chest. He grasped the man’s other hand, applying pressure until he heard the knife fall to the ground with a clatter.

“And if you ever pull a knife on me again, you won’t have a chance to say another word,” Deeks promised him, squeezing his arm a little tighter to bring the message home. “I don’t like threats.”

Baker gasped, fingers prying feebly at Deeks’ arm.

“Do you understand me?”

Baker gave a weak nod, making a desperate sound. Deeks held him for another few seconds, only letting go when he felt his body start to sag. When he released him, Baker collapsed in an ungainly heap.

Brushing his hands off, Deeks leaned over and grabbed Baker’s knife, twirling it a few times before he pocketed it. Baker stared up at him with a glint of fear in his eyes, but mostly loathing.

“Have a good night, Baker.”

Deeks walked away, keeping an ear out in case Baker got a second wind.

He certainly hadn’t intended to make an enemy so quickly, but he couldn’t let Baker get the upper hand. Deeks could only hope that his interactions with Baker remained minimal and the need for revenge didn’t outweigh any loyalty to Mason.

***

A/N: Whelp, Deeks is heading into this operation with lots of friends.

#ncis la fanfiction #marty deeks #undercover Deeks #no matter how far you run we’ll draw you back again #part 3 #post series finale #Whumptober 2023 #but late #ejzah fanfiction

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bisexualbumblebee-writes · 2 years ago

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Professors- Neville Longbottom x OC

Neville Longbottom x Charlotte Creevey

Description: Charlotte is the Potions Professor, and she is shocked to learn that students are shipping her and Neville (the Herbology Professor) together.

Word Count: 1.8k

“Now, many people believe Madrakes to be violent creatures at first glance,” Charlotte heard Neville say to his class as she reached the door to his classroom. She had been the Potions professor going on four years now, having taken the job immediately after the war. She’d always excelled in the class, even if her predecessor hated to admit it.

Neville was the new Herbology professor this year at Hogwarts, so she could understand why he sounded a bit nervous. His tone honestly reminded her of their Hogwarts days, but this wasn’t that. Even if he did sound a bit nervous, he now had a certain air of confidence around him. But she guessed that came with literally slaying a Basilisk.

She listened through the door as he continued to teach his class about Mandrakes for a moment before deciding to walk in. She did have a class to prepare for after all. After knocking twice, she walked in without waiting for an answer. Neville had stopped talking when he heard the knock, then perked up when he realized who it was.

“Ah, Professor Creevey. What can I do for you?” He asked with a small smile. She returned the gesture then closed the door behind her.

“I apologize for interrupting,” she began, but he simply brushed it off then repeated his earlier question. “Well, I’m afraid you never gave me those mistletoe berries that I need for the Forgetfulness Potion. Normally I would go get them myself, but-”

“But you always forget which ones are ripe,” he finished with a small chuckle. Charlotte grinned bashfully and nodded in response.

“Yes sir. I have a class after this that’ll be making the potion and I don’t think I’ll have time to get to the greenhouse and back before it starts if I go after the bell,” she explained. He nodded once she finished and set down the book he had been reading from.

“Very well, you guys keep reading. I expect you to know the use and functions of Mandrakes by the time I return. He gave the class a pointed look, but the smile on his face told everyone he wasn’t serious. The class, in turn, giggled as he made his way to the door Charlotte stood by. He gave them one last smile before opening the door for her and following her out.

“Sounds like you’re settling in well,” Charlotte mentioned as they walked down the corridor. Neville nodded, shoving his hands into the pockets of his opened robes.

“I am. The students have made it much easier, especially the first years.” Charlotte nodded and smiled nostalgically.

“They remind me of us during our first year. I remember how scared we all were.”

“Yeah, you were always there to help us though,” he commented. Charlotte blushed shyly and shook her head.

“Oh please, I was just as scared as you were,” she muttered coyly. Neville shook his head, staring at her with a fond look.

“You hid it very well then.” She smiled at him then looked down. They continued to make small talk until they reached the greenhouse. Charlotte stood behind Neville as he inspected the mistletoe berries. She took the chance to really look at him, something she hadn’t done since before the war. It surprised her how much he seemed to have grown up since their Hogwarts years. There was a sense of maturity to him now, he was no longer hesitant and he no longer had to worry. She blushed in embarrassment when he turned around and caught her.

Thankfully, he didn’t say anything as he stood. The two of them picked the vines in silence, and Charlotte couldn’t help but blush when their hands would accidentally brush against each other.

Neville and Charlotte had briefly dated during their time at Hogwarts as students. When they broke up, it affected both of them despite being mutual. Charlotte was a muggle-born and she was understandably afraid for her life multiple times, especially when Death Eaters surfaced right after the Quidditch World Cup. Meanwhile, Neville had become shaken up after his encounter with Bellatrix Lestrange during the battle at the Cabinet of Mysteries. They were both dealing with their own things and didn’t have the time to put effort into their relationship, but that didn’t stop Charlotte from missing him.

Neville ended up helping her carry the bucket of berries back to her classroom, having reached it just before the bell rang for class to end. After setting the admittedly heavy bucket down, he allowed Charlotte to lead him to the door. They just stood outside her classroom as students filled the hallways.

“Thank you for all your help Professor-”

“Just call me Neville. We’re still friends, aren’t we?” Neville half joked, making Charlotte smile bittersweetly. Friends.

“Of course Neville,” she responded gently. “You should probably get back to your class.” Neville nodded upon realizing that the bell was in fact about to ring.

“Right,” he said with a nod. “I’ll see you later Charlotte,” he finished before walking away. She watched his retreating form before the bell rang. As she walked into her classroom now full of third years, she began her usual speech.

“Good morning class, today we will be making and studying the effects of the Forgetful Potion. Now, can anyone-” her question was cut off by one of the students, a Ravenclaw girl named Nina Roberts.

“What were you and Professor Longbottom talking about?” She asked eagerly. Charlotte was taken aback by it, and upon looking around, realized everyone looked as interested as Nina.

“What?” She asked with a small laugh.

“Oh come on,” a Slytherin boy named Dalton Sparring piped up. “Everyone saw you and him talking outside your room.”

“I heard Carissa Nicks saw them walking out to the greenhouse in the middle of class,” another Ravenclaw girl named Maria Franks added. That made the class erupt in talking about the new information.

“Okay that’s enough!” Charlotte called, holding her hands up to silence everyone. “Professor Longbottom helped me gather mistletoe berries for our potion today, I was simply thanking him for his help before class started,” she explained. The class looked like they didn’t believe her, but another thought popped into her head before she could say anything about it.

“Why are you so curious about it?” She asked suspiciously. The class looked among themselves nervously, making her eyes narrow and her arms crossed.

“Well,” Nina started. “A lot of people know that you two are really close, and we were hoping that you two would get together. Everyone sort of figured you’d be together by now. You guys are always looking at each other during dinner and assemblies. Everyone thought you were at least dating at first.” The professor’s mouth dropped open as she listened to the student’s explanation. The rest of the class nodded in agreement.

“Wait, you all think that we,” she trailed off, not able to finish the question.

“Well, yeah. Everyone does,” Maria replied with a shrug. Charlotte just stared at them in shock for a minute before blushing profusely.

“Well, my love life is none of your concern, and I will thank you to stay out of it,” she finally said before straightening up. “Now, back to the lesson.”

Her student’s words stayed with her even after classes had ended. It was shocking for her to say the least. Of course she was aware of her feelings for the new professor, but she hadn’t realized that she’d showed it so much in front of others. But Nina said that Neville also looked at her during dinners and assemblies. Surely they couldn’t have been serious, right?

It ended up consuming her thoughts and she found herself excusing herself from dinner earlier than usual that evening. She noticed Professor McGonagall give her a concerned look, but she gave the headmaster a reassuring smile before leaving. She found herself outside in the entrance courtyard.

With winter coming in quick and it had gotten cold just as quick. That ended up being bad news for Charlotte, who hadn’t thought to bring her jacket and her robes being in her quarters. So, she simply leaned against the marble railing surrounding the courtyard and looking out at the lake that sat beside the castle.

“What are you doing out here? You’re going to get a cold without a jacket,” she heard Neville say from behind her. She hadn’t even heard him walk out here.

“I’m just thinking,” she responded before looking at him. He furrowed his eyebrows and walked over to her with a jacket in his hands. She faced forward shortly before feeling a small weight on her shoulders. Neville had covered her in the jacket previously in his hands then leaned his shoulder against one of the pillars of the structure.

“Care to share them?” He asked as she snuggled into the warmth enveloping her quickly. She finally shrugged and looked at him.

“It’s nothing really,” she lied. He gave her a look that told her he didn’t believe her.

“Come on Char, you know better,” he reprimanded gently. Charlotte couldn’t help but smile, she should have known that she couldn’t lie, especially to him. They shared a small laugh then Charlotte looked out at the lake once more, gathering her thoughts.

“Have you heard some rumors flying around? Rumors about-”

“Us?” He asked knowingly. Charlotte stood up and looked at him surprised.

“You know about them?” She asked, shocked. Neville nodded nonchalantly and rested his hands in his pockets.

“Yes, I’ve been hearing them almost since I began teaching,” he explained.

“Well, how do you feel about them?” She asked curiously. Neville blushed shyly and looked down then at the lake like she had previously.

“I can’t say that I’m exactly mad about them,” he started nervously. “I have to admit that seeing you again after the war brought up some old feelings. I missed you Charlotte.” The girl was surprised by his confession. She didn’t know what to say, so she just stared at him for a minute, making the boy beside her nervous. Eventually though, she finally spoke.

“Even after all this time?” She asked quietly, looking at him hopefully. Neville finally looked at her again, smiling at her expression.

“Since the day we broke up I’ve missed you. Breaking up with you was one of the worst decisions I’ve ever made,” he admitted, taking her hand. Charlotte flushed red and looked into his eyes. She always thought they were pretty, the way that the gray and gold swirled into his hazel eyes always mesmerized her.

“Well, what would you say to trying again?” She whispered, eyes flickering down to his lips for just a second. Neville seemed to understand what she wanted because he began leaning in, speaking as he did so.

“I’d say yes,” he muttered before Charlotte met him halfway and kissed him. His arms instantly went to her waist, pulling her closer to him. Her hands first rested on his shoulders then slid around the back of his neck. They stayed that way until being forced to pull away to breathe. They stared at each other and smiled simultaneously.

“Wonderful way to restart, wouldn’t you say?” He asked, making her giggle.

“Definitely.”

#harry potter #harry potter imagine #neville longbottom #neville longbottom imagine #neville longbottom x oc

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kylosbreedingkink · 2 years ago

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Zoo au characters, and if you're feeling adventurous and achieving, drama between them, please? Normally I'd want to hear about Kylo (always), but I'm struck by Hux being pedantic about beetles. Also what's Poe doing? My cousins both work at a zoo so I'd love to see what they think about all this. They're nerds too.

So animal management at the zoo is split into 2 main sections with smaller within that. Thoe are LVI & Birds, and then mammals. LVI is reptiles, amphibs, inverts, etc and stands for lower vertebrate and invertebrates. This is the first time I'm writing some of this down so there may be some changes to what i've said before. Notably I put the KoR as maintenance but not anymore. It's long so rest under the cut

Kylo: Nepotism baby got an easy zoo internship because at the time his uncle was the assistant curator of mammals and his mother headed the education department. Some people hate him because of this. Zookeeping is not an easy industry to get into and he just walked in like he was owed the world. His internship was on the mammal section, focusing directly under Luke on the large carnivores. An incredibly boring section as everyone knows the small carnivores are where the interesting things happen. All big cats have going for them is that they're big. When he finished his placement, a role was created for him as the new primary keeper of the big cats. He turned it down. He instead walked straight into a job on the LVI & Birds section under curator Snoke. Turns out he had been spending his days off and his break times with Snoke, learning aviculture, and had become enamored with birds. Luke was not happy. Hux was not happy either as Snoke is currently without an assistant curator and it seems like he's grooming Kylo for the position even though Hux has been working for him for years. With him on the bird section (There's a lot of birds. Snoke likes his birds) he has some of the knights of ren. There's more of them in spring and summer to help man the bird walkthroughs and deal with the increased workload bird sections have then. Basically there's a strange overlap between the bird keeper section and animal training, even though the birds under snoke receive little to no training (Snoke doesn't deem it necessary for husbandry). Kylo himself goes over to animal training a few times a week, but not to train any animals, and always during his lunch breaks. Ren: Head of animal training/the show. He's kinda off on his own not under the jurisdiction of either curatorship, but works with them. Mostly enjoys the birds of prey and flying those. He is never seen without his falconer glove even when he's training ducks. Flirts with everyone and anyone. Once tried to bag both Luke and Leia at the same time. Luke seemed keen but Leia slapped him. It's ok though, he had Han and Luke when Leia and he were 'on a break'. He also had that big eyed son of hers. Multiple times. The kid's clingy but he's good for getting Rens dick wet. Luke: When Kylo started his internship he was the assistant curator/senior keeper of large carnivores. Not long after the internship was finished, Luke was promoted to curator of mammals as his predecessor (Yoda) retired. He holds resentment for Kylo ruining his big plans for him, where he would be curator and in a few years his nephew the assistant curator under him. Kylo had a knack for the job and Luke thought he was genuinely interested, just for Kylo to walk right over to the other curators section without any prior warning (As far as he knew.. Selective vision, everyone else saw him helping out on the birds whenever he wasn't with the cats) Luke I have working with big cats because I really think big cat keepers are boring. Not as bad as elephant keepers, but still up there with the boring and the big ego. Luke is just incredibly boring to me. It literally won't let me post more than this which is ??? as i see other people with stupid long posts and not even a cut like all the time zzz. I'll do more in a subsequent post.

#asks and replies #zookeeper au #kylo ren #ben solo #original ren #luke skywalker #first order trio

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pashterlengkap · 9 months ago

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GOP congressman skewers “5th choice” speaker Mike Johnson as an embarrassment to the party

Rep. Patrick McHenry (R-NC) blasted his party’s own House leader, anti-LGBTQ+ Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA), for being no one’s first choice for the leadership position. “We went through five choices and Mike Johnson’s the fifth choice,” McHenry told CBS News. “He has not been around these leadership decisions. He’s had a really tough process.” Related: Mike Johnson eviscerated for distorting the Founding Fathers’ words to justify his extreme beliefs Kevin Kruse said Johnson’s been selling snake oil. And amidst a looming government shutdown and heated discussions about providing military aid to Israel and Ukraine, McHenry implied that Johnson is drowning. Insights for the LGBTQ+ community Subscribe to our daily briefing for insights into how politics impacts the LGBTQ+ community and more. “We’ve thrown him into the deepest end of the pool with the heaviest weights around him and trying to teach him how to learn to swim,” he said. “It’s been a rough couple of months.” He blasted Johnson for making decisions out of fear of being ousted like his predecessor, former Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-CA). “[If] it’s fear of the deal that drives him, [that] will then result in a government shutdown,” McHenry said. “What I believe is, we will get higher spending and less policy as a result of the government shutdown.” He acknowledged Johnson’s worries as “real and legitimate” but said they shouldn’t stop him from doing his job. “You can either die as speaker and worry about them taking you out, or live every day as your last. Get something out of it. If you lead and get big things done, your reputation enhances. Your ability to get the next deal done is enhanced. The view from the public, while not perfect, is better if you take action than if you sit and dither.” He blamed Johnson for holding up the national security bill that the Senate has already approved, explaining that most members of the House from both parties support it. “They support 80 to 90% of what’s in the bill,” McHenry said. “About two-thirds of the House is of that opinion. It will get done. It will just be a question of how it gets done and how long it will take to get done.” “What is axiomatic about the House is that any speaker can stand in the way of the majority will on the House floor for a period of time — but not permanently,” he continued. “My hope is that the speaker will come around to seeing this in a very sensible way.” And the insults kept coming. “[McCarthy] was highly successful in the 10 months of his speakership,” McHenry said. “We didn’t have a single failed rule. Since then we’ve had five rules fail, which is a terrible mark for a majority.” “If you’re in charge, you dictate the terms of debate. If you don’t pass that rule, you have, in essence, handed the House floor over to the minority party to do what they will. We did it zero times under Kevin McCarthy’s leadership. Since then, we’ve done it five times.” House Republicans elected Johnson as the House speaker following the ousting of McCarthy and the failed nominations of Reps. Steve Scalise (R-LA), Jim Jordan (R-OH), and Tom Emmer (R-MN). He previously served as a senior attorney and national spokesperson for the anti-LGBTQ+ hate group Alliance Defending Freedom (ADF), filing lawsuits against same-sex marriage, same-sex adoption, and same-sex marital benefits. While serving in the Louisiana state legislature from 2015 to 2017, Johnson introduced a so-called “religious freedom” bill to legalize discrimination against married same-sex couples. He told the Baptist Message that he was “on the front lines of the ‘culture war’ defending religious freedom, the sanctity of human life, and biblical values, including the defense of traditional marriage.” Last December, Johnson introduced a federal version of Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” law called the “Stop the Sexualization of Children Act.”… http://dlvr.it/T3F4qg

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anthonybialy · 1 year ago

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Booting the Softest Reboot

The end of this year’s elections means next year’s races have begun. If you’re sick of ceaseless politics, vote to get them out of your life. That’d ideally only happen once, but maintaining freedoms is a constant process. On that note, feel free to walk away from a letdown of a blowhard unless fealty to defeat is worth keeping as the party’s core belief.

Everything’s going great aside from all the stuff. Rampant theft despite nobody being able to buy anything constitutes the Democratic miracle. The only one who can afford their wish list is Hamas. The White House doing everything they can to help Iran resembles their unflagging commitment to giving illegal immigrants endless quasi-legal benefits. By contrast, law-abiding Americans are the executive’s enemies.

Next year’s majorities should be easy to capture while running in flip-flops. Only Republicans could screw it up, which means it’s entirely possible. Losing winnable contests is a basic way to show contempt for government. But it would be even better to win and dismantle.

Losing over principles is a win for consciences. Take wanting babies to make it out. Smug preening from people who have been born about Ohio allowing the continued pre-emption of life resembles slavery fans celebrating the Kansas-Nebraska Act. Hoping science pairs with basic morality to prevail continues despite prosaically malevolent earthly setbacks.

Other races saw calculating about winning turn to losing. Results were super otherwise. Anyone who truly believes in markets should feel free to offer a better alternative than the worst. As for the present ghastly monopoly, the sole alternative already consistently fails to beat Democrats in the 2020s because of being dragged down by someone who claims it never happens to him. Winning is all that matters, according to a faction that can’t beat the party responsible for worthless money.

Failures hate everyone else noticing patterns. Donald Trump-endorsed candidates just happened to lag behind those free of the all-time conman’s taint in the same states. Genius conspiracy theorists who serve as voluntary informal interns think a consistent unfortunate result means the ballots must have been subjected to tampering by demons who don’t want America to be made great. The only way self-proclaimed successes can fail is if the officials cheat. The former’s allegation offers sufficient evidence to them.

There’s always an excuse from the very responsible CEO. Still, some disloyal losers insist on claiming Trump’s entire persona flaunts the opposite of leadership for humans in general and reality game show hosts who become politicians in particular. Confidence leads to everything except results.

Thinking an election win is a success itself is a Biden-level delusion. You may have noticed for decades that Trump is a drag on success, which somehow surprises marks who still haven’t figured out their muscular hero sells his image of being awesome instead of actually doing anything awesome. Three-card monte is also a scam, while we’re at it. Play with unused bits from his board game.

Trump flunkies are so fanatical that they could endure his term and still want another. Presuming it’ll happen again is as presumptuous as expecting his check. The most committed diehards would rather see Republicans lose if it means someone from their nasty clan doesn’t win. Persistent MAGA flunkies manage to make both happen.

Joe Biden is so atrocious at his job that it makes his predecessor look competent by comparison. Fuel was relatively affordable the term before. But inflicting relatively less awfulness isn’t quite inspirational, especially when the key to a low price per gallon is doing nothing. Trump was at best a Clinton-style buffoon who claims victory in any area that thrived because he didn’t manage to meddle. That’s far from the only thing he shares in common with his sleazy counterparts in the rival group to which he once belonged.

Running Trump against Biden will be like Groundhog Day where nobody used time being stuck to learn to be better. This story features the flattest arc possible. Bold political theorists speak of other choices. There may be a third individual capable of winning the presidency, or perhaps even more. Hannity-style thinking leads to seeing only binary options. Respect his mentality and change the channel.

Even more unfathomable debt would be just the start of the worst Grover Cleveland soft reboot. Trump-aligned candidates flaming out offers a preview of a most unwelcome sequel that could still blessedly get canceled.

If primary voters stick with the most unoriginal idea possible, brace for either losing to an all-time terrible president who’ll serve into his mid-80s or win and have another obnoxious term into his early 80s before setting up another dreadful Democratic followup. Choosing the style of Purgatory is about as fun as deciding what Trump hotel to stay in at Atlantic City. Thankfully, prospective patrons decided the embodying symbol of phoniness did not deserve their business. Primary voters should finally take a hint.

Age is the least worst problem with two geezers who’ve served as resentful black holes for decades. A win will be a loss, which is confusing to a figurehead who bases his entire reputation around triumphing without context and despite already losing to Joe freaking Biden.

It’s time for Republicans to make a decision about who they are, which should mean choosing who they are not with. Either find candidates who agree that seizing your money to spend on your behalf sucks or stick with a hateful clique who insists they’ll only back the equivalent of an older relative on Facebook who shares a scam giveaway for a free Red Lobster gift card. You don’t have to keep living with despair despite what those who want to boss you around claim.

The utter phoniness has been clear for decades. It didn’t take a term to verify, although we may as well use the excruciating evidence. Sticking with Trump in 2024 would be like him hanging out with Marla Maples. Like planting a tree, the best time to abandon the real fake was when he failed at selling football to Americans. The second-best time is now.

#Donald Trump #Joe Biden #president #2023 elections #2024 elections #elections

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yestolerancepro · 1 year ago

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My dear girl, there are some things that just aren't done, such as drinking Dom Perignon '53 above the temperature of 38 degrees Fahrenheit. That's just as bad as listening to The Beatles without earmuffs!” A blog inspired by the music world of James Bond Part 4 Bond Songs that didn’t hit the right note with me at least to start with and the Bond song I really hate

Introduction

Hello there and welcome to another episode of my blog that looks at the musical tastes of James Bond over the last 60 years the last episode looked at the Bond films that I don’t like for viarous reasons this chapter continues that trend.

This also looks at a few of the Bond themes that took some getting used to plus the one Bond theme I really can’t stand.

Are there any James Bond Songs I don’t like ?

On first hearing Madonna’s title track for the Perice Brosnan Bond film Die Another day I hated it I think it was because it tried to do something different with the Bond format it was the first time I heard a Bond song that was aimed at the dance genre but it has since grown on me thanks to repeated listening.

The film itself is also very good if a little unrealestic in places with the the use of CGI the kite surfing sequence being the worst offender Toby Stevens is excellant as the baddie of the film.

The two Bond girls in the film are very good as well Rosamand Pike as Miranda Frost and Hallie Berry Both were featured in recent articles about James Bond Movieweb made Miranda Frost one of there Deadliest Women of the James Bond Franchise coming in at number at Number 4

“I know all about you, 007. Sex for dinner, death for breakfast. Well, it's not going to work with me.”

Played by British actress Rosamund Pike, Miranda Frost is an Olympic fencer and a Secret Intelligence Service (SIS/MI6) agent who is actually working for the diamond tycoon Gustav Graves. When Bond (Brosnan) is tasked with eliminating a North Korean colonel, Miranda reveals his identity and motives to the latter’s right hand, which leads to his long-term capture.

When Bond later faces both Graves and Miranda, he realizes that his gun was emptied by her when they were in bed together. In the end, the arrogant femme fatale is killed by Bond’s ally, the American operative Jinx Johnson (Halle Berry), in a memorable sword duel.

Jinx Johnson (Halle Berry) meanwhile came in at number 11 in the Colider film website of the 16 Bond women that redefined the Bond Franchise.

Jinx Johnson – ‘Die Another Day’ (2002)

The final installment of Pierce Brosnan’s Bond films didn’t do a hell of a lot right. The story and tone were unbalanced, the action largely missed its mark, and – considering the other spy movies of its time – it undermined the franchise’s history of cinematic relevance. One thing that did work for it was Halle Berry’s Giacinta “Jinx” Johnson.

The NSA agent is tasked with assassinating rogue a North Korean agent and works closely with Bond to accomplish the mission. A tough and resourceful operative who matches Bond’s flare for personal vendettas, she excels as one of the franchise’s most empowering women and even manages to pay homage to Ursula Andress’ original Bond Girl in the process.

Q Branch

Die Another Day marked the James Bond franchise's 40th anniversary. So quite if not all of the gadgets from the prevous James Bonds appear in the Q Branch scene in the film

Its such a shame then the Desmond Lewelyn died shortly after making the world is not enough I would love to have seen him in this. John Cleese who had been introduced as R in that film became the new Q a lot of R comedic excesses of the World is not enough have gone as he takes his job as the new Q more seriously

I love the way John Clease channels Desmond Lewelyn when Perice Brosnon makes Jokes about the invisable car as I learn’t from my predecessor Mr Bond I never Joke about my work perfectly delivered by Clease and a line said by Q in the classic James Bond film Goldfinger more on that film later.

Gadgets introduced in Die another Day include :

Single digit sonic agitator

A "standard issue" ring for the finger which is actually an "ultra high-frequency single digit sonic agitator unit" that can shatter bullet-proof glass (or any " 'unbreakable' glass", as commented by Q in the movie) or disable another person.[9]

Omega Seamaster Wristwatch

Omega Seamaster 300M Chronometer - Contains an explosive detonator and laser beam cutter. The new Q states that this watch is Bond's 20th, which is a reference to the fact that Die Another Day is the 20th James Bond film.

Dream simulator

Gustav Graves uses this device to have dreams as he has insomnia.[90]

By far the best Gadget in Die another Day is the Aston Martin Vanquish which Q Branch has nicnamed the vanish because of its talent to turn invisible this car with all its toys came 2nd in Den of the Geeks top 10 gadgets featured in the James Bond films behind tha rocket pack

This is what Den of the Geek said about that magic car :

2. The Invisible Car

Back to Bond’s his for cars. If a submarine vehicle wasn’t enough, Die Another Day saw the character step into an invisible car; state of the art technology that the real-world still hasn’t managed to master. This was a moment of pure spy fantasy that thrilled moviegoers worldwide in its concept, although perhaps took some out of the experience because of its use of CGI.

Regardless, is there anything more Bond than a car that produces imagery based on adaptive camouflage, allowing the vehicle to blend into its environment and resulting in an action-packed snowy car chase? Well in fact, the only thing that could make this more 007 heavy is the brand of the car in question. The movie used a British Aston Martin V12 Vanquish for the sequence, playing heavily into a tradition that’s been maintained throughout the franchise. Cloaking device technology is still in development in reality, and right now they aren’t being pulled off quite in the same way as Her Majesty’s Secret Service managed to onscreen. Still, this makes for a memorable entry both for better and perhaps worse but has ranked so highly because of how it pushed the boundaries of the series.

To watch a trailer for Die another Day click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTznf1x4khc&list=PL17vqAEJv6CUxmeZBk3JGDLBbcPEd4CDp&index=10

to watch a trailer for for Perice Brosnan’s best moments from the Stormchaser Z YouTube channel click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kf00BHDwUtA&list=PL17vqAEJv6CV1syq4_fFKgBwSqGdJzH9z&index=289&t=21s

To read an article about how the Peirce Brosnan James Bond films rank with James Bond fans click here https://www.cinemablend.com/news/2559531/james-bond-pierce-brosnans-movies-ranked

To watch a tribute video for Tommorow Never Dies click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTKx5fITnzs

Writing on the Wall Spectre Sam Smith

I can also remember not liking Sam Smiths Writing on the Wall the title track for Daniel Craig’s Bond film Spectre on first listen but I love that too now.

the single became the first Bond movie theme to reach number one in the UK Singles Chart.The song won the Golden Globe Award for Best Original Song at the 73rd Golden Globe Awards[8] and the Academy Award for Best Original Song at the 88th Academy Awards, making it the second consecutive Bond theme to win (after "Skyfall" by Adele in 2012).

I may like the song now but I still hate the film ha ha

According to this article on the Slash film website the Rock band Radiohead were the orignal choice to provide the title music for Spectre but were dropped at a late stage in the process to read about it click here https://www.slashfilm.com/1430955/james-bond-radiohead-unused-spectre-theme/

To watch a trailer for Spectre click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujmoYyEyDP8

Anyway back to the original question the only James Bond song I don’t like Another way to Die from Daniel Craigs second Bond film Quauntum of Solace sung by Jack White and Alicia keys I am not really a big fan of the film either for me it was released too soon after Daniel Craig’s debut as Bond Casino Royale (which I loved) the story in the film feels a bit rushed which makes it for me hard to follow the fact that the film was taking place during a writers strike might have something to do with it lol

To read an article about how the James Bond films of Daniel Craig rank with film fans click here https://collider.com/daniel-craig-james-bond-films-ranked/#:~:text=%E2%80%98No%20Time%20to%20Die%E2%80%99%20to%20%E2%80%98Skyfall%E2%80%99%3A%20Daniel%20Craig%E2%80%99s,Spectre%20...%205%205.%20Quantum%20of%20Solace%20

To watch a video highlighting Daniel Craigs best moments as James Bond click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozfccPhvFg8

If you wondering have I seen No Time to Die yet the answer to that is No I know how it ends though the ending was spoilt for me I won’t spoil it for you guys I won’t watch till I know how the film producers plan to fix that cliffhanger

A lot of work has gone into this blog if you have read it and enjoyed it please consider giving a donation to the Tolerance project by clicking on the above link https://gofund.me/5cf25de4

Pictures

1) Die another Day UK Poster

2) Rosamand Pike as Miranda Frost

3) Hallie Berry as Jinx Johnson

4 The Aston Martin Vanquish

5) Spectre Poster

6) Quantum of Solice poster

Notes Thanks to the following websites Collider film for their 16 best Bond women that redifined the Franchise

Den of the Geek for their ten best ever gadgets seen in the Bond franchise

Cinema Blind for their James Bonds ranks series

Google images for the pictures and Wikpedia for providing some of the background material on the gadgets

#sam smith #the writting on the wall #madonna #die another day #spectre #daniel craig #Rosamand Pike #Hallie Berry #Miranda frost #Jinix Johnson #james bond #Tolerance Project blog update #quantum of solace #skyfall #Adele #no time to die #Slash film website #radiohead

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capaldiera · 1 year ago

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obviously the real reason this happens is because it's a james bond movie and he has to get back into the scene somehow but felix showing up and telling james "you're only man for the job" is so funny. this 50-something retired british guy is the only person who can extract this hostage for the cia. sure

like was it felix's idea? he just wanted to work with bond his friend james bond again? it could have been the spectre guy's suggestion i guess but leiter was definitely convinced. all of which brings up questions for me about how james and felix's friendship and working relationship developed after quantum of solace. from memory the only time felix is mentioned in skyfall or spectre is when james says he's called felix for a favour protecting lucia sciara, so we don't know much.

at the end of qos, felix is made section chief in south america and i have to wonder how long he would have lasted in that role, considering how distasteful he found his predecessor, beam. it's definitely implied that his issue with beam is his corruption and working with greene. and... the thing is i think if greene had actually found oil it could have been felix losing his job, not beam. the americans wanted that oil and felix spoiled things for greene by helping james – the movie makes it very clear james is acting against orders and the express wishes of the british government by going against greene.

i'm sure part of why they trust and like each other is they are both willing to break the rules to stop someone they think should be stopped (interesting that there's already trust between them in qos though it doesn't seem to be based on much beyond vibes? was there something between casino royale and then?) but what's interesting to me is they (seemingly) had different reasons for wanting quantum taken down. james is in it for personal reasons – he doesn't care that much about the cia ignoring a military coup in bolivia or a billionaire manufacturing a drought, he's after the people who got to vesper and tried to kill m. greene's evil plan being that bad is very much a case of giving audience a reason to hate the villain so they'll be on board with the protagonist seeking revenge.

for that matter it's possible felix just didn't like beam personally or trust that greene would uphold his part of the implicit deal. he could have been motivated mostly by the fact he hated his boss and liked bond more. (his conversations with both beam and james indicate he is pretty cynical about the cia and america (and britain) in general, and doesn't like the way they do things, but.... he still works for them so whatever principles he pretends to have, he's not exactly living by them)

...i don't have any conclusion to this i was just thinking about it. anyway wonder how often james and felix have worked together and whether there's any real reason they would consistently have the same goals (or if they actively worked against each other at any point?)

#me.txt #two weeks ago i started thinking about james bond completely unprompted and now i'm contemplating the intricacies of 00leiter history. okay

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britcision · 2 years ago

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It doesn’t take the goons long to work out the rule either

Mockingbird has one job, and one clear berserk button: Robin 3

And let’s be honest, none of them enjoy the part of gooning that is “try to beat up a literal child”, even if they’ve come to terms with it and the child kicks their ass every time

(Well, some of them do, but their numbers wane EXTREMELY fast after Mockingbird’s debut. Some are found still alive but usually they seek alternate employment far, far from children

Danny doesn’t allow risks to his loved ones)

But while there was always the “fuck Robin’s here get him restrained” for 1 and 2, Robin 3… you don’t want to get your hands on Robin 3

Yeah, the Bat is also much touchier about his new boy and will go Extreme Prejudice if he’s in danger, but the Bat is the nice one

The Bat knows they’re all criminals, and gets that this is part of the vigilante thing, they’re gonna try and knock out or incapacitate his trainees. Vengeance is swift, but the Bat is merciful

This comes into clear contrast once Mockingbird joins the scene

He doesn’t stop Robin from fighting or get in the way; the kid’s as hands on as both predecessors, there’s the exact same frantic scrabble to take him down and get the weapon out of his hands so you can tie him to something

(Any rogue who wants Robin dead wants to do it personally anyway, so you double don’t want to be the one that ruins that)

But you point a gun?? At Robin 3?? Your hands are empty before you know it, and that sly, mocking voice comes from just behind your ear, where you know no one could be

“Now that’s not fair is it?”

Other things disappear too. Sometimes it’s as mild as your belt, or your shoelaces are suddenly tied together, and yeah Mockingbird will ABSOLUTELY steal your pants and you’ll never know how

If you get a shot off though? Things appear places they shouldn’t, and you realize just how nice Batman is that he only kicks your ass and restrains you for the cops

Danny doesn’t want Tim to find out about all the background stuff he does, because Tim’s a competent kid and would hate to be undermined, but now the goons are all a lot more careful about what might accidentally seriously maim a child

(Part of this is in response to Batman’s wave of violent fury after Robin 2 died. Self preservation. But finding jagged edges of ice between your toes, in your ears, up your nose?

You only fuck with that once before you start wondering where else Mockingbird could get that ice. How much bigger the chunks could be

Penguin is desperately trying to hire Mockingbird to maintain the Iceberg Lounge)

Red Hood’s return is correspondingly extremely different. Jason’s furious another kid got put in the suit, but it takes about 30 seconds to realize this kid has Protection

Serious Protection, and it ain’t from Bruce

There’s a lot more jealousy, a lot more “why does he deserve this when I didn’t”, it’s still anger and bitterness as he plans, takes heads, taunts Batman

But Danny never forgets a soul

So Jason gets a visit before Jason gets anywhere near Tim (who is very upset that Danny is definitely keeping a secret from him, but Danny will make it up to him)

Danny apologizes that he didn’t save Jason. That he and Tim were watching over him, but Danny couldn’t protect him too

It’s not what Jason wanted, it’s not even close to Bruce admitting his failure. But Danny’s so obviously relieved to see him alive, explains that dying can be a much less binary scale than people think, notices the pit

Danny won’t tell Bruce if Jason doesn’t want him to, cuz Jason gets to come out in his own time, but he offers help. Kindness. Tells him how Tim got started, got caught, and got ghost training to keep going

How much Tim worried when Jason disappeared

And he asks Jason to at least tell Tim he’s okay, because Tim thought he could stop if Jason ever came back

(Tim doesn’t fucking stop, he lied to himself and also to Danny)

And Jason asks where the Joker is, because there’s been hide nor hair of him since about a week after Robin 3 debuted

And Danny goes real quiet

Because he can tell Jason where the Joker is, but Jason won’t be able to see him. Not without one of those body finders that can see through rock

Danny doesn’t. Allow. Risks. To his loved ones.

He couldn’t save Robin 2, but he can keep Robin 3 from being anywhere near the same danger

(Jason solemnly swears never to lift a finger against Tim because holy fucking shit nope nope nope his plans are now Bruce And Bruce Only)

(He does sign one of Tim’s favourite photos of him as Robin though)

Having been declared legally dead and without a cent to his name, Danny arrives in Gotham desperate for any job. So when he gets hired by a rich couple to babysit their kid while they're away (which apparently is quite often) without them even doing a background check on him, he thinks he's hit the jackpot.

Until he finds out just how neglected this kid is. Danny knows from personal experience just how that can mess a person up so he decides to shower this kid with all the love and attention he could ever dream of. And maybe figure out a way to stop him from sneaking out at night.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dcxdp #dc x dp #danny phantom #batfam #nanny danny #<- incredible best tag for this au

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qqueenofhades · 2 years ago

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You are my reliable UK news source so what’s your opinion on the new UK PM? Do you think he’ll do a decent job, or just be another fuck up?

(I’ve watched exactly one news article about him and it was about 2 minutes long so my knowledge of this guy is that he’s rich as fuck and the new PM)

Sunak can take comfort that he's just had the actual-fax worst predecessor of all time, so unless he literally slips on a banana peel, sets off a Rube Goldberg machine that decapitates Charles in some hilarious fashion, runs naked around the city with a banner ordering everyone to crash the pound now, and ruins the next season of the Great British Bake-Off, he could hardly do worse. He is also the first British Asian/BAME Prime Minister and a practicing Hindu, so that's noteworthy. The hardcore Brexiteer racists hate him for being brown. The hardcore Johnson loyalists hate him for dramatically resigning as chancellor this summer and bringing BoZo the Clown down, down, down. (They, of course, don't give a shit about BoZo's many, MANY lies. He should have stayed in office anyway!!!!)

However, nobody should go getting too excited. While Sunak is regarded as more economically pragmatic and less diehard Thatcherite than Truss, he's still a Tory, and therefore beholden to some ridiculous and arbitrary goal of Reducing Government Spending and increasing austerity, rather than sorting out the incredible damage that twelve years of Tory economics have done to the country. He did dish out billions in support packages as chancellor during the worst of the pandemic, which was good of him, I suppose, but is now insistent that they have to Balance The Books and get it back!!! He's probably also going to bring Suella Braverman back as Home Secretary, which is especially disappointing; they're both British-Indian and yet they're trying to pull up the ladder behind them and continue to do horrible things to migrants and the UK's totally fucked asylum and immigration system. At least the odious Jacob Rees-Mogg is out of cabinet? That is... something. I guess. God, I hate that guy.

Overall, Sunak can at least pretend to be a grownup politician rather than a robotic Margaret Thatcher wind-up toy, and the markets responded somewhat favorably to his appointment. But he's not received a single vote ANYWHERE, from ANYONE -- not from the Tory MPs, not from Parliament as a whole, not from the Tory grassroots party members, and certainly not from the whole country. If the Conservatives actually thought they would win a general election, they would call one, but they'll do their best to put it all the way off to 2025 and hope that everyone has somehow forgotten about the total clown show happening ever since Brexit. If Sunak returns to disastrous economic and energy policies, with not a shred of a popular mandate, then that's going to be especially egregious. Sunak is taking over because Truss was historically, epically bad, so yes, standing upright at the microphone and putting together whole sentences would be regarded as a win. But he's an unelected prime minister of a party that has fucked up the country beyond recognition, he still generally subscribes to their policies, and there's no particular reason to think that he's going to do anything aside from govern as a Big Business Friendly, ultra-rich Tory mouthpiece, so yeah.

#whovian378 #ask #uk politics

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musingmemories · 6 months ago

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A hero. His hero. Harleen didn’t think of herself as anything like that, and she couldn’t quite place where the sudden warmth across her cheeks came from. She could, she was just ignoring that it stemmed from a place of pride accompanied by the praise, desperation to be something for someone.

Placed on such a pedestal Harleen wondered who in the past Joker might’ve looked up to before. Who’d been the role model that’d led him astray, life and circumstances tugging him down the threads of possibilities to the person he’d become. Mass murderer, psychopath, sociopath, deranged lunatic… just a few pet names the city of Gotham and past psychologists had bequeathed The Joker.

At the very least, he was also optimistic about their dynamic being a good fit. “Did you say that to my predecessors, or am I justa special case~?” The teasing, playful tone of Harleen Quinzel used both in and out of professional settings. Because to her there wasn’t any need for strict boundaries— in every setting she was always herself. And she would be in this one, having found a pattern that when she was real and genuine it brought out another’s. Confiding in one another a shared bond of trust.

So far it was a theory proved to be working, an appreciative smile blooming across Harleen’s face hearing Joker liked her, turned nonchalant and dismissive as she studied the room, searching for clues into his psyche. “I like what ya’ve done with the place. Made it your own.” Blue orbs fell to the straitjacket keeping Joker’s hands restrained. The elephant in the room, ironically, not the criminal in front of her. “They give ya a timeline on when they’ll ease up on that?” Like a muzzled animal. Punishment for being naughty. “Cause I don’t mind tryna be part of your decoratin’ committee for the time bein’.” Not part of her job description, but might ease the Joker’s boredom and itch to create chaos, a safe space of his own… as safe as an Asylum could be.

Then, the silence lulled. And oh how Harleen hated silence. Her brain buzzed with the classic game of 21 Questions, neither of them seeming to be the right one to start their first meeting off correctly… and she found herself becoming tongue-tied under his intense, almost clear colored, gaze. Harleen recognized it: studying, like she were under a microscope. But she was an open book— well, a professionally restricted one she had a tendency to cross the line over.

The shiver that ran down her spine with the purr of her name was a red flag example that she chalked up to the Asylum being chilly, and lithe fingers tucked stray blonde strands behind her ear before answering. “Well, I don’t play favorites,” A lie. “But I am a psychologist, and I was interested in speaking with you. Getting to know you. I just…” Tongue flicked over nude pink painted lips. “I want to help people, and I think everyone here is still a person. Ya deserve fairness, Joker— and not bein’ treated like an animal even if ya were bein’ a naughty, naughty boy.” To quote his own words.

“So, question for ya: if ya could be anywhere else doing anythin’ else, where would that be? I’d like to rule out any crime-related activities. Really think outside the box.” Pen in hand, Harleen adjusted her spectacles on the bridge of her nose before focusing on her notepad, edges decorated with spontaneous hearts she’d drawn prior out of boredom.

In all of his ten thrilling years spent rotting in and barely out of Arkham Asylum, the swift rate in which his psychologists had mysteriously vanished without a trace after leaving for their shift in the evening was eerily alarming to the rest of the world, their disappearances swiftly reported across every news channel with theories on theories about how he was somehow behind it all. And if they didn’t vanish, well.. they almost always ended up quitting their jobs after an intense session or two with Gotham’s most evil. They were all the same with their bright eyed and bushy tailed bravado, waving their expensive education around with reassurances that they could and would help him escape this chasm of insanity he’d found himself trapped in. But oh how easily they cracked under the pressure of his menacing stare. Who knew a simple glance could send them running with their tails between their legs like scared puppy dogs~?

Joker refused to believe that this doctor would be any different to the witless wonders they’d issued him with before.. that was until the silky feminine timbre of her voice reverberated around the room, followed by the soft click! click! clicks! of high heels closing in on his position. Now that sound alone piqued his interest considering all of his past doctors had been male.

Body finally stilling from the light tremors, Joker slowly whirled around in his chair until he was met with somebody who looked to be the embodiment of innocence. A pair of ocean hues concealed away behind a thick pair of spectacles, every fleck of blue perfectly illuminated by the fluorescent bulb above. Such a dainty thing by the looks of it, doe-eyed stare peeking out from behind a clipboard.. Pretty.. would make a good looking corpse to hang in his room. Oh how easy it would be to string her up by that slender little neck and watch the light in her eyes dimmer out. But where were his manners? Such courtesies could wait until after their meet and greet.

Face completely void of any emotion while he analysed and sized her up, Joker finally broke into a crooked, metallic grin.

“My hero. I do believe we could be a good fit, Doctor. I really do.” A hum followed by his tongue trailing along his lower lip. Harleen Quinzel. A mouthful; he much preferred Harley for short. But nicknames had to be earned. However, it wasn’t her name that had captured his full attention. No, it was that saccharine smile and overly trusting nature, evident in the hand that had been outstretched in a polite greeting— even though he couldn’t at all return the gesture even if he wanted to. Didn’t she know what he was capable of? What a ditzy little thing. The offer of a rain check only had the devilish grin on his face stretching until it was almost unnaturally wide— unnerving as it had been deemed many times before.

“Well aren’t you a funny one~? I can already tell I’m going to like you.” Was that sarcasm? Even he couldn’t tell. Alas, he’d roll with her friendliness for now. “I’m sorry I couldn’t spruce the place up for your arrival.. my hands a little tied as you can see. I’ve been a naughty naughty boy lately.” Chuckling at the latter part of his sentence, his head then lulled to the side in thought, brazen stare never once wavering from its focus on her. Why oh why would they send somebody like her to deal with him? Were they perhaps hoping this was be some sort of Beauty and the Beast type fairytale where she could tame him into a newly reformed man? If that was the case, then they were going to be sorely disappointed. After all; there was no charming prince to be found in here.

Curiosity getting the better of him, Joker leaned in closer to get a better look at the blonde bombshell sitting across from him. “Tell me, Harleen Quinzel..” Her name practically a purr rolling from his tongue. “What really brings you all the way to Arkham Asylum when you could be anywhere else doing anything else? Surely not little ol’ me~?” Distract her. Befriend her. Gain her trust. A route he’d never tried before, but.. maybe that’s where he’d been going wrong in the past. It was worth a shot.

#( i just go normal from time to time ; harley quinn )#mistaah-j #// Harleen Harleen Harleen you should know better

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criminalmindzjunkie · 4 years ago

Text

Avoidance

masterlist

part two

Summary: Reader doesn’t know what she did to make Spencer hate her so much.

A/N: This fic is just a reminder that sub!Spencer lives rent free in my head at all times. Also, if anyone would like to be on a taglist for one shots like these, let me know! I’m going to work on getting one started.

Pairing: sub!Spencer/femdom! reader

Content Warnings: honestly way too much swearing, sexual harassment, slapping, hands free orgasm, oral sex (male and female receiving), hand job, orgasm denial, edging, unprotected sex, vaginal penetration, degradation, femdom

Word Count: 8.2k

I have absolutely no idea what I’ve done to make Spencer Reid hate me.

Usually, when someone despises a person to the point of complete and total avoidance, there’s a reason. No one just wakes up and decides to resent another person for the hell of it – right? Wrong.

Because Spencer Reid positively loathes me – and I have no idea why.

It all started on my first day at the BAU. I had somehow landed the highly coveted job of media liaison after the previous one had decided to complete the training to be a profiler. For reasons unbeknownst to me, they thought a twenty-four-year-old fresh out of college with no prior job experience was the best fit for the position. I didn’t understand it, but I also wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

To say that I had been terrified the first time I set foot into the bullpen would be the understatement of the century. After a very formal and very intimidating orientation with the unit chief, my predecessor, a beautiful blonde named Jennifer, offered herself up to be my personal tour guide. Jennifer introduced me to the other members of the team, and with every smiling face I came in contact with, my fears of being the odd man out were assuaged. I could tell that Penelope Garcia, tech analyst extraordinaire, would most likely be my biggest ally – and it was abundantly clear that Derek Morgan and I would probably get into a fair amount of mischief together. Elle Greenaway seemed like the obvious choice for a future drinking buddy, and Jason Gideon – well, he merely grunted at me in acknowledgment before retreating back to his office. I figured three out of four wasn’t so bad.

I didn’t meet Doctor Spencer Reid until after lunch. Jennifer mentioned something about him guest lecturing at a local university, which surprised me considering she mentioned him being a year younger than me. Apparently, the kid was an actual genius, which was more than a little bit intimidating, but Jennifer assured me that Spencer was a sweetheart.

“He’s a little quirky, but I’m sure you’ll love him. Just don’t be surprised if he tries to talk your ear off,” Jennifer laughs. “Last week I asked him about the weather and he went off on a tangent about climate change that lasted nearly an hour.”

By the time Spencer strolled into the bullpen at exactly one in the evening, I was sitting perched atop Jennifer’s desk, thoroughly engrossed as she told me about their latest case. When she stops talking midsentence in favor of smiling at someone behind me, I half expect that Morgan is attempting to sneak up on me, when:

“Hey, look who’s back,” Jennifer greets, prompting me to turn around excitedly. I was eager to put a face to the man I’d heard so much about.

And when I turn, my eyes land on the prettiest man I’ve ever seen.

Sharp cheekbones and a chiseled jawline are framed by shaggy brown hair, complete with beautiful brown eyes and soft, pillowy lips. As if his good looks weren’t enough, he’s dressed in the most adorably nerdy sweater vest and a pair of thin framed glasses. He’s absolutely precious – a fact that Jennifer had conveniently left out.

“How was the lecture?” Jennifer asks him as he places his satchel on the desk adjacent to hers. Spencer perks up at this, smiling excitedly from across the divider.

“I think it went really good, actually. I incorporated this really cool joke that I heard about quantum physics. Do you want to-”

He stops abruptly when he realizes Jennifer isn’t his only spectator, and those lovely brown eyes go almost comically wide when they settle on me.

“Spencer, this is Y/N Y/L/N. She’s the new media liaison. Y/N, this is Doctor Spencer Reid.”

I give him my best smile, tacking on a small wave for good measure.

“It’s nice to meet you, Doctor Reid. Jennifer’s told me a lot about you.”

“Uh, y-yeah. It’s n-nice to meet you, too,” Spencer stutters. He looks positively stricken and I’m fairly sure he hasn’t blinked in over a minute. I cast a glance at Jennifer, who seems just as confused as I am.

Well, she had mentioned that he was a tad strange.

“I’d like to hear the joke,” I offer, only to immediately regret it when I see him tense up.

“N-No, that’s o-okay,” he chokes out as he struggles to gather the files on his desk. “It’s n-not that good, anyways.”

And just as quickly as he came, Spencer leaves in a flurry of crumpled papers, leaving Jennifer and I wondering what the fuck just happened.

Things didn’t get better with time. In fact, they got much worse.

In the six months that I had been working for the BAU, I could count my interactions with Spencer Reid on one hand. It wasn’t for lack of trying on my part – in my desperation to figure out what I’d done to make him avoid me, I sought out the young genius every chance I got. But every time I got within ten feet of him, it’s like an alarm would sound in his head and he’d make up some excuse to leave the room.

The others had noticed his strange behavior, too. It seemed they all had made a sort of game out of it – calling Spencer into rooms that I was in just to see him panic, or asking me to personally deliver files to his desk. At first, I played into it, hoping that their teasing would help to diffuse some of the tension.

After a month of being on the receiving end of Spencer’s cold shoulder, I started avoiding him, too.

I tried to act indifferent – like it didn’t hurt me as badly as it did. I no longer sought him out, and by month two, we had a sort of understanding. I didn’t go near him, and he didn’t go near me, and that’s how it went on for four miserable months.

Until today.

“Reid, Y/L/N, you’re in 202.”

I damn near drop my bag on the floor. This was bound to happen at some point or another, but I hadn’t planned on that day being today, and I was not prepared. After nine hours of running around the local police department, my body was weighed down from fatigue and I was downright grumpy. Not to mention I had picked the worst possible day to try and break in a new pair of heels, and my feet were throbbing.

Needless to say, I was in no mood to deal with Spencer Reid’s bullshit.

“Uh, Hotch? Could I maybe room with Elle?” I ask, sending a glare in Morgan’s direction when he snorts out a laugh. Hotch raises an eyebrow at me.

“Why? Is there a problem?”

Yes, sir, there certainly is. And your guess is as good as mine as to what that problem is.

“No, but I just think that-”

“Good. Then you should be fine to share a room with him.”

Right.

I spare a brief glance at Spencer, who, in the last thirty seconds, has turned the color of a tomato. I pray that he’ll speak up and voice his discomfort, but just like always, he stays silent.

Hotch doles out the room keys and I begin the trek down the hallway, my poor aching feet groaning in protest with every step. I’m vaguely aware of the sound of footsteps behind me, and it’s not until I swipe the key into the key card that Spencer speaks.

But not to me – no, never to me.

“Derek, please, I’m begging you. Just switch with me this one time, and – and I’ll do your reports for a month!”

After six months of dealing with Spencer’s aversion to me, his words should come as no surprise. And really, I’d expected as much - but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

“Not happening, kid. This is the perfect opportunity for you to get over whatever problem you have with Y/N. I bet you’ll even end up liking her. She’s not going to be rude to you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“… T-That’s not what I’m worried abo-”

I don’t wait around to hear the rest of his sentence. I push open the door to the room, not bothering to wait for Spencer before closing it. I kick off my heels as soon as the door clicks shut, letting out a half relieved, half frustrated groan.

After claiming the bed nearest the air conditioner as my own, I pluck my pajamas and toiletry bag out from my suitcase and shuffle over to the bathroom. The way I see it, the quicker I get a shower and can go to sleep, the faster the night will pass. Before I know it, this unfortunate situation will be a thing of the past.

After drawing out the shower for as long as I possibly could, I exit the bathroom clad in a tank top and a pair of shorts, hair dripping wet and skin freshly scrubbed clean. Spencer’s sitting on his bed, book in hand and tie loosened. He doesn’t look up at me when I walk by - not that I’d expected him to. A thick silence hangs in the air as I pull a bottle of lotion out from my suitcase, and I debate turning on the TV just to make things slightly less awkward. In the end I decide against it, because I doubt even that could make this situation better.

I prop a leg up on the bed and begin to lather my legs in cherry scented lotion, paying special care to my aching feet before moving on. It’s not until both of my legs have been thoroughly massaged and coated in lotion that I look up.

Spencer’s eyes are locked on me, mouth hanging open and chest heaving up and down. His knuckles are white from how hard they’re clutching the book in his hands, but despite that I can still see the way they’re trembling. When he realizes I've caught him staring, he closes his mouth and gulps hard.

I straighten up and raise an eyebrow in a silent question, and that’s enough for Spencer to snap his book shut and scramble off of the bed. He’s clumsy as he moves to his suitcase, dropping his bottle of travel shampoo twice before he reaches the bathroom. If I wasn’t so off put by whatever the hell had just happened, I might have thought it cute.

As if the universe thought my current predicament wasn’t enough to deal with, the next morning I was dealt another shitty hand. This time, my distress came in the form of a young cop who couldn’t pick up on social cues to save his life. After an entire morning of dodging sleazy advances, I finally managed to shake him when his superior sent him out to go and actually do his fucking job.

Or so I thought.

I’m standing in the breakroom, pouring my fourth (or is it my fifth?) cup of coffee when I hear the sound of footsteps in the hall. I don’t know if I’ve developed a sixth sense about these things, or if I’m just particularly on edge today, but I know it’s the young officer before he can even cross the threshold.

And when he does, and he sees that he has me cornered, a saccharine smile stretches across his lips.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he drawls in an accent that could probably be attractive if he wasn’t so damn skeevy.

“Might wanna get your eyes checked,” I mutter, refusing to look in his direction as I stir my coffee.

“Pretty and feisty. Just how I like my women.”

“I am not your anything,” I seethe, and instead of backing off like any respectful human being would, he just chuckles and begins to saunter towards me.

“C’mon baby, you don’t have to be that way. You don’t have to act all professional with me.”

“Don’t call me that.” I look at him now, and the smug, self-righteous smile on his face makes my blood boil.

“You don’t like baby? That’s fine – I’m sure I can think of lots of other things to call you,” he murmurs. He’s closer now, so close that I can practically feel his breath against my neck.

“I’m going to tell you to stop one more time, and it would be in your best interest to listen,” I growl.

“Or what?” he taunts. “I’d like to see you try to stop me.”

I jolt forward when a hand comes down hard on my ass, squeezing me harshly through the material of my skirt.

Oh, fuck no.

I’m whirling around faster than I ever thought possible, and then a harsh crack sounds throughout the room as my hand comes in contact with his face.

My hand stings from the contact, but the pain is welcome because he flies backwards, stumbling and grasping as his already reddening cheek.

“What the fuck?” he roars, eyes flashing with unbridled fury. I take several steps towards him, and to my utmost delight he nearly trips over himself in his hurry to put distance between us. I stop when his back hits the wall and I lean in until our faces are only inches apart.

“Listen here, you limp dick fuck,” I snarl. “I’m getting real sick and fucking tired of pathetic pieces of shit like you thinking they can put their hands on women. What’s your problem? Are you so fucking tactless that you can’t get anyone to fuck you?” I punctuate my question by jabbing my pointer finger into his chest and cocking my head to the side. “Are you so unappealing that the only way you can get your hands on a woman is to wait until she’s alone and try to corner her?

Or is it a power thing? You’ve got the gun and the badge so you think you’re entitled to just take what you want, don’t you? You think no one can stop you because you’re in a position of power. Well, I have some news for you – I outrank you, and you just assaulted a federal agent. I will not stop until I ruin your fucking career, and if you even think of trying to lie your way out of this, I’ll do a helluva lot fucking worse. After the week I’m having, I am just looking for an excuse to kick your fucking dick into the dirt. Do you understand?”

By the time I finish speaking, my chest is heaving up and down and my eyes are narrowed into slits. The officer is so angry that he’s shaking, hands balled up to fists at his sides. For a moment, I think he’ll try to hit me, but then his hard-exterior cracks and the anger gives way to fear.

“You – You can’t tell anyone about this,” he says, trying his best to sound menacing. But his voice wavers, and I can tell he’s losing his grip. “It’ll r-ruin my career.”

I raise my hand up to his cheek, placing my palm over the red imprint I had left on his skin. And then I flash him the sweetest goddamn smile that ever there was.

“I’d like to see you try to stop me.”

I give him a pat on the cheek before turning around and heading for the door, only to stop halfway when I see that I have an audience of one.

Spencer stands in the doorway, a coffee mug gripped tightly in one hand, mouth agape and eyes wide. He’s standing stock still, eyes darting in between the police officer and me. I let out an exasperated sigh because of-fucking-course it would be Spencer that would happen to walk in on whatever that just was.

“Close your mouth, Reid. That’s how you catch flies,” I deadpan, prompting Spencer to snap his mouth shut.

Without another word, I brush past him and leave the break room.

I suppose the universe had decided to finally give me a break, because that afternoon we were able to apprehend the unsub. But my good fortune only went so far, because Hotch announced that we would be leaving first thing in the morning – which meant another night alone with Spencer Reid.

He didn’t mention what he walked in on when the two of us arrived back at our room, and I didn’t expect him to. The two of us went about the motions of unwinding from the day in complete and utter silence, and by the time I emerge from the shower I decide that I’ve had enough.

“I’m gonna go stay with Elle and Derek,” I murmur as I zip up my suitcase and slip on my shoes.

“Oh. O-Okay.”

And that was that.

It’s about an hour later when my phone is on four percent that I realize I hadn’t remembered to bring my charger with me. I contemplate just letting it die, but the idea of sitting through a seven-hour jet ride tomorrow without it sounds excruciating. Then again, so does the idea of having to suffer through an interaction with Spencer.

The phone wins out in the end, and with Derek and Elle still snoring softly in their respective beds, I slip out of the room and into the hallway. With any luck, Spencer will be in a similar state and I’ll be able to sneak in and out without him waking up.

I think thank my lucky stars when I slowly crack open the door to Spencer’s room and see that the lights are off. I take special care to close the door as quietly as possible before tiptoeing across the carpeted floors, feeling my way around in the dark so that I don’t trip over anything.

I make it halfway across the room when I hear it – it’s quiet, and if the air conditioner had been on, I wouldn’t have even heard it at all. It’s faint, so faint that I wonder if I’d imagined it, but then that same sound breaks through the silence and I know it’s not a product of my imagination.

I hear the covers rustle, and then a low moan followed by the distinct sound of skin on skin. My blood runs cold as the moans grow louder and more frequent, rolling off Spencer’s lips in rapid succession. There’s heavy breathing and whimpering and holy fuck I just walked in on Spencer Reid masturbating.

Spencer cries out a particularly load moan, one that sounds so pornographic that it shoots straight to my core. It’s sexy and dirty and he sounds absolutely wrecked, and the part of my brain that is still capable of logical thinking is screaming get out! Get out, now!

I begin to slowly backtrack, moving at one tenth of the speed that I had coming in because the possibility of being caught is absolutely not an option. If Spencer hates me now, he’d really hate me if he found out I snuck into his room at night and heard… that.

I’m about five feet away from the door when:

“O-Oh my God, yes! Y/N, please - fuck!”

I think then that I certainly have to be dreaming, because there’s no way I’d just heard him correctly. There’s no way that Spencer – the same Spencer that scurried out of the room when I walked in – was moaning my name while he touched himself. Absolutely not.

But then it happens again and again and again – my name falling from his lips incessantly like some kind of debauched chant.

It feels like my skin is on fire – my mind a befuddled mess – and before my brain can tell me what a terrible idea it is, my feet are carrying me back into the room and I’m coming to a stop at the foot of Spencer’s bed.

Bathed in the glow of the moonlight shining through the window, Spencer looks ethereal. There’s a thin line of sweat beading on his forehead, and his usually meticulously slicked back hair is fanned out on the pillow like some sort of halo. His teeth are nestled into his bottom lip now, and all that can be heard are tiny whimpers as his hand slides up and down underneath the bed sheets. Spencer’s always beautiful, almost painfully so. But the way he looks now, shadows dancing across his face as he works himself to orgasm, is infinitely more breathtaking than words can express.

It doesn’t take long for Spencer to release his lip from beneath his teeth, and when he does my name is flying out of his mouth once more.

I take that as my invitation to speak.

“I don’t think I’ve heard you say my name before.”

Spencer’s entire body stills and his eyes fly open to reveal two dark pools full of sheer panic.

“I-I can explain,” he stammers, moving to clutch the comforter to his chest in an attempt to cover himself.

I let out a hum and sit down on the edge of the bed.

“Please do. I’m very interested in hearing about just what you were picturing me doing.”

Spencer sucks in a harsh breath. I can practically see the wheels in his brain turning -desperately trying to concoct some kind of reasonable explanation.

“I-I… I don’t… I’m s-sorry,” he stutters, and it’s so adorable how he’s squirming underneath my gaze that I decide to help him out.

“Was I sucking you off? Or were you fucking me?” I wonder aloud. He tries to hide it, thinking the covers will mask the way that his hips buck up, but I definitely see it.

“I-I…”

“Which was it, Spencer? Was I taking you down my throat or were you fucking my pussy? Or maybe I was coming undone on your face – was that it?”

Spencer lets out a low groan, and if my patience hadn’t been running so fucking thin, I probably would’ve left it at that. But after the hell he’d put me through for the last six months, I feel like he deserved to squirm a little.

“Fucking answer me.”

“Y-You were, um… r-riding me. And you s-slapped m-me.”

Oh.

This just got a lot more interesting.

I raise an eyebrow at him and I can see the way his Adam’s apple bobs up and down as he gulps.

“So, you liked what you saw today, did you?”

Spencer nods so fervently that I have to bite down on my tongue to suppress a laugh.

“Words, baby. Use them.”

“I-I liked it. A lot.”

“Apparently so, seeing as you were moaning for it like a desperate little slut,” I breeze, my tone cool and indifferent. “Have you done this before, Doctor? Touched yourself to the thought of me, that is.”

“… Y-Yes. I’m s-sorry. I didn’t m-mean to. It just kind of happened one night, and once I started, I couldn’t s-stop.”

I reach out a hand and brush away the hair that had fallen into his face, tucking it back behind his ear before continuing.

“Why the cold shoulder, then? And here I thought you hated me,” I muse, before pausing and cocking my head to the side. “Do you hate me, Doctor?” I ask, and just when I thought he couldn’t look more guilty, he proves me wrong.

“No! I just… couldn’t be around you. I felt so b-bad. You were so nice, and I was using you to g-get off,” Spencer explains. “I couldn’t look you in the eye. Not after picturing you… like that.”

I let out a sigh. Knowing that Spencer didn’t actually hate me for the last six months was a relief. Knowing that Spencer was secretly rubbing one out to me was something else entirely. Whatever was I to do with this information?

“So, you want to fuck me, then?” I reiterate. “Why not tell me this sooner?”

“The probability of you responding positively to me telling you that I, uh, m-masturbate to you was very l-low. And after what I saw today, I think I was wise for keeping that from you,” Spencer says, the last part coming out in a rush. I can’t help but let out a low laugh.

“Yes, but the guy that was coming on to me today wasn’t someone I find attractive. He was pompous and crass and pushy - and you, Doctor Reid, are none of those things.”

“R-Really? You think I’m attractive?”

I hum.

“Very much so, Doctor. But I’m afraid you may have waited too long, and now I don’t feel as inclined to be nice,” I murmur, allowing my hand to trail down from his shoulder to his collar bones before lightly grazing his nipple with my thumb.

“O-Oh my… God,” Spencer whimpers, eyes fluttering shut as my fingers continue to dance across his skin.

“But then again, I don’t think you really want me to be nice to you. I think you want me to treat you like my little play thing.” I stop my hand just below his navel and I thumb across the light layer of hair that makes up his happy trail. “You want to be my dirty boy - don’t you, Doctor Reid?”

“P-Please,” Spencer chokes out, hips jerking up when I allow my thumb to graze a little lower.

“Please what?”

Spencer lets out a frustrated groan.

“Please, I-I want you to u-use me. However you want, just as l-long as you just do-don’t stop touching me,” he rambles. He’s shuddering underneath me, his breaths coming out in harsh pants as my hand wanders lower and lower until I abruptly pull away. “W-Why did you stop?”

“Because I don’t think you deserve to be touched just yet. You’ve got six months to make up to me, after all. I think I want you on your knees for me first,” I say, and from the way his eyes seem to dilate even further, I don’t think he has any objections. “Are you familiar with the color system?”

Spencer nods.

“Green for good, yellow means slow down, and red means stop now.”

“Do you have a safe word?”

“I… I’ve never really, uh. Done t-this.”

Oh. Oh.

I withdraw my hand from its place on his leg and Spencer lets out a distressed whine. “No, please! Don’t go. I’m not a complete virgin, I promise. I got a h-hand job once,” he argues. “And I think I’ve done enough, uh, research, and I really want to try to make you cum. I want to be good for you. Please let me try.”

Spencer looks like he’s about two seconds away from crying, and I can feel my argument dying before it even leaves my mouth.

“Oh, baby, I know you’d be so good,” I coo, and just like that Spencer’s leaning towards me, desperate to have the contact. I indulge him, placing my hand on his cheek, and he relaxes into the touch. “Are you sure you want to do this with me? I’m not what anyone would call vanilla, and I don’t think you know what you’re getting into.”

“I trust you. I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else,” Spencer whispers, and he sounds so damn sincere that I feel my resolve crumbling.

“You’ll let me know if at any point you want to stop?”

“Yes. Absolutely!”

Enthusiastic little shit.

“Safe word?”

“Um… Tolstoy?”

I let out a snort.

“Alright, smarty pants. We’re going to start now, okay?”

“Yes, Miss,” Spencer pants out.

Fuck me running. He clearly has been doing his research.

“Get on your knees for me, baby. I wanna see just how eager to please you are,” I instruct as I stand up and shimmy out of my shorts. I discard my shirt, too, absentmindedly throwing it somewhere across the room. Spencer lets out a startled squeak when he sees that I’m now completely naked, aside from my underwear.

“Y-You’re so pretty,” Spencer breathes out. “Even better than I imagined.”

The sentiment tugs at my heart, really, it does, but I specifically requested that he get on his knees and he seems a lot more content to just sit and stare.

“On your knees,” I command, and Spencer jumps up almost comically fast.

“S-Sorry, Miss,” he apologizes as he lowers himself down. I seat myself on the edge of the bed and spread my legs for him.

“Don’t apologize, just do as I ask of you, okay baby?”

Spencer nods.

“C-Can I kiss you? Like on the lips first?” Spencer asks as he looks up at me with big doe eyes. It’s a beautiful thing, the image of Spencer Reid sitting in between my legs, cheeks flushed and chest rapidly rising and falling. I give Spencer a sweet smile and lean forward, and the excitement radiating off of him is practically palpable. He leans forward, too eager to wait for me to close the gap, and the action makes my chest swell in adoration.

Just as our lips are about to meet, I pause, and Spencer barely has the time to look confused before my palm connects with the side of his face. The moan it draws out of him is obscene and his hips jolt forward, desperate for some kind of friction. His dick rests painfully hard between his legs, flushed red with precum beading at the tip.

I waste no time in taking his chin in my hand and tilting his head upwards.

“Did I say you could kiss me?” I ask him, voice sugary sweet, contrasting starkly with my actions.

“N-No, Miss. I’m sorry,” Spencer pants out. His hand twitches at his side and I can see how desperately he wants to touch himself, but his desire to please keeps him still.

“Then the answer is no. Maybe if you can prove to me that you aren’t completely incompetent at eating pussy, I’ll consider it,” I allow a moment for my words to sink in. “Color?”

“Green. So fucking green,” Spencer whines.

“Good boy,” I praise him, and the effects of my words are instantaneous. Spencer rests his cheek against the skin of my thigh and then he’s nuzzling his face against me in a silent plea for permission. After a moment, his pleas become a lot less silent.

“Wanna be your good boy - please let me,” Spencer begs as his nose brushes against my skin. “I want to make you feel good. S’all I ever think about, since the first time I saw you.”

His words send a jolt of pleasure to my core and I reward his brazen honesty with a tender smile and a nod.

“Go ahead, baby. Let me see what that pretty mouth of yours can do.”

The words barely have time to leave my mouth before Spencer is reaching out and hooking a finger underneath the waistband of my panties. I raise up off the bed just enough for him to slide them down my legs, and before I even manage to settle back down onto the bed, Spencer literally dives in. He starts with one long lick, and by the time he reaches my clit he’s crying out lewd moans against me. The feel of the vibrations mixed with the feel of his mouth on me is maddening in the best possible way, and my eyelids threaten to flutter closed under the weight of my pleasure.

“Fuck, baby – you’re doing so good,” I sigh as I lift my hand up and card my fingers through his hair. “You look so pretty on your knees for me.”

Spencer’s movements stutter when he feels my hand tangle itself into his hair, and I let out a light chuckle. I grab hold of the roots and give an experimental tug. My actions cause his hips to jolt forward violently.

“O-Oh my…” Spencer keens, raising his glossy, lust filled eyes to mine. “H-Harder, please.”

I oblige, and Spencer lets out a particularly filthy groan before lapping at my pussy like a man possessed. His hands come to wrap around my thighs and he pulls me closer to him, causing me to let out a gasp when his nose nudges against my clit. The sound only spurs him on further – Spencer begins assaulting my clit, alternating between short, kitten licks and light sucking. The control I had so adamantly been asserting over him began to slip from my fingertips the longer he worked his mouth against me, and quiet, breathy moans started falling from my lips.

“Such a good boy, Spence,” I moan as I scratch my fingernails against his scalp. “You’re making me feel so good, baby. Love that dirty little mouth of yours.”

Spencer thrives on the praise – that much is made obvious by the way he whimpers and tightens his grip on my thighs. He’s completely submitted himself to the act of getting me off, only stopping long enough to cry out when my hands give a particularly harsh tug on his hair.

“Add a finger, baby,” I tell him, allowing my hand to drift down the side of his face, caressing the sharp angles of his cheekbones.

Spencer releases my thigh from his hold and tentatively raises a hand to my entrance, eyes raising to meet mine.

“You’ll tell me if I do something wrong?” he asks, and his concern is so endearing that I tilt his chin upwards and lean forward until my lips meet his.

Spencer gasps into the kiss, shocked, but it doesn’t take him long before his lips are moving against mine fervently. His lips are slick with my arousal, and I dart my tongue out just long enough to swipe it across his bottom lip.

“D’you like how I taste, baby?” I murmur against his lips, pulling back slightly when Spencer tries to bring his lips down against mine.

“S-So much,” he whispers, before letting out a frustrated groan when I tease him with the slightest brush of my lips before pulling away again. “P-Please, kiss me again.”

I bump my nose against his before I reach down and grab his hand in mine.

“Don’t be a greedy boy, Spencer. Greedy boys don’t get to cum,” I chastise him as I raise his hand up to my mouth. I trace my bottom lip with his pointer finger as Spencer watches on in rapt fascination, before taking the digit into my mouth and sucking. Spencer chokes out a pathetic cry and his hips hopelessly buck into the air as I swirl my tongue around the pad of his finger, taking special care to coat it with spit before releasing it from my mouth.

I guide his hand back down to my pussy, gasping when the tip of his finger brushes across my entrance.

“Just take it slow, baby. Start with one and move up to two once you get the hang of it.”

Spencer nods, eyes alternating between my face and my entrance as he slowly slides his finger in me.

“You’re so warm, oh my God,” Spencer breathes out, tentatively pulling out his finger before inserting it back in. I hum appreciatively as he begins to move faster, eyelids fluttering shut when he lowers his head and begins languidly licking my clit.

“Feels so nice, Spence. I fucking love your fingers. Knew that they’d feel like this. I can only imagine how good your cock will feel,” I ramble, one hand fisted in the sheets and the other tugging on his honey brown hair.

I groan as he inserts a second finger, reveling in the way he’s stretching me out.

“Curl your fingers when you – fuck! Just like that, baby. Gonna make me cum if you keep doing t-that.”

Spencer speeds up both the onslaught of his fingers and his mouth at my admission, tongue working figure eights on my clit while his fingers brush up against my g-spot. A familiar warmth starts to spread in my lower belly, and with every swipe of Spencer’s tongue against my clit, the coil in my stomach winds tighter and tighter until, finally:

“O-Oh, fuck, Spence!”

The coil snaps, sending jolts of pleasure straight through my core. I can feel the way my walls tighten around Spencer’s fingers as my orgasm rips through me, never stopping their ministrations in an attempt to help me ride out my high. Vibrations ripple across my clit when Spencer lets out a cry of his own before his movements halt completely as shudders wrack his body.

I know he didn’t just…

I allow myself a moment to recover before I lean forward and drag my eyes down Spencer’s slender frame – and sure enough, his tummy is covered in white ropes of cum and his now softening cock is hanging limply between his legs.

Spencer’s eyes reluctantly open when his shudders cease, and one look at my pissy expression is enough to send him into a fit.

“I-I didn’t mean to cum! I’m so sorry, Miss. It’s j-just that you looked so pretty when you came, and you taste so good! And you were pulling my hair, and you called me a good boy and I just couldn’t do it anymo-”

“Shut up,” I seethe, voice cold and laced with annoyance. Spencer’s mouth snaps shut and he gulps. “Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t remember saying that you were allowed to come. Am I mistaken?” “N-No, Miss.”

“Mm, that’s what I thought,” I hum. “Stand up.”

“B-But I want to make you cum again! Can I plea-”

“Shut the fuck up and stand up, Spencer.”

Spencer rushes to his feet, stumbling a bit when his legs begin to shake. He corrects himself, standing perfectly still in front of me with a shameful look on his face. I scoot back on the bed and fix him with a stony look.

“I want you to lay on your stomach across my lap. Can you do that, Doctor Reid, or are you too stupid to follow simple directions?”

Spencer adamantly shakes his head, scrambling to splay out across my bare thighs. Once he’s comfortable, I raise a palm to his bare ass cheek and smooth my hand across the skin.

“Color?”

“G-Green,” Spencer stutters out.

“Wonderful. Since you’ve decided to be a greedy little slut and cum before I gave you permission, I’m going to punish you. Do you remember your safe word, baby?”

“Tolstoy.”

“Good boy. I’m going to give you ten, and I want you to count them out for me. One for every month you held out on me, and four because you’re an insolent little whore who can’t do as he’s told. Does that sound fair to you?”

“Y-Yes, Miss. P-Please.”

A harsh smack sounds throughout the room, and Spencer lets out a whorish moan that’s bound to wake the people in the neighboring rooms. The pale skin of his ass transforms to red, and I rub my palm across it soothingly.

“O-One,” Spencer says through gritted teeth as he rocks his hips against my legs.

“You okay, baby?”

“Y-Yes, Miss. Please don’t stop. I deserve it. P-Punish me, please.”

My palm comes down across his ass four more times, and with each strike I watch Spencer fall apart right before my eyes. Tears are gliding down his flushed cheeks, and his cock is now painfully hard against my legs.

“Five more to go, baby. Keep counting for me, my pretty boy.”

By the time my hand comes down against his flesh for the final time, Spencer has devolved into a mess of pathetic whimpers. His cock is smearing precum across my thighs as he rocks against me, and his ass is covered in a litany of bright red marks. Incomprehensible pleas are falling from his lips, and his hands are tightly fisted in the sheets.

I lean forward and place a gentle kiss to each of his battered cheeks.

“T-Thank you, Miss. Thank you, thank you, thank you…”

“You’re welcome, baby. Can you go lay in the center of the bed for me?”

Spencer gives a feeble nod and crawls to the center of the bed, carefully laying himself down and letting out a low hiss when his ass came in contact with the mattress.

I let him rest against the sheets before I roll over and settle in between his legs.

Spencer’s cock, painfully hard and leaking precum, sits against his belly. Spencer watches as I trace lithe fingers up his thigh, his chest rising and falling quickly as I get closer to where he demands my attention.

A garbled groan rips from his throat when my hand grasps his cock, and I have to place my other hand on his hip and force him back down onto the bed when he tries to buck up.

“Stay still, baby,” I tut as I drag my fist up and down at an agonizingly slow pace.

“S-Sorry, M-Miss,” Spencer stutters. His brows are drawn together and his eyes are heavy lidded. “Need m-more, please.”

“Mm, I don’t think you need more. You just want more. Dumb little greedy baby,” I tease as my thumb swipes across his head.

“Oh… G-God, please!” Spencer mewls.

“Is what I’m giving you not good enough?”

“N-No, it’s just-”

I raise an eyebrow at him and halt my movements.

“No, it isn’t good enough?”

Spencer lets out a frustrated groan and his fists clench the sheets.

“P-Please, Miss! I’ll be your good boy, I promise. Just let me cum, please, I want it so bad!”

Thoroughly pleased by his shameless begging, I start moving my hand again.

“Let me know when you’re about to cum, baby.”

That moment comes when, not thirty seconds later, the muscles in Spencer’s abdomen start to spasm – telltale signs of an impending orgasm. Spencer is so lost in the way my hand is moving against his cock that he makes no move to warn me, and just as I see his eyes start to flutter shut, I withdraw my hand.

“W-Why did yo-”

“You didn’t tell me you were about to cum. I thought you said you were going to be a good boy, Spencer? You sure aren’t acting like someone who wants to cum.”

“S-Sorry, please, just… fuck!”

Spencer’s whole-body folds in on itself when my mouth wraps around the head of his cock. I swirl my tongue around the tip, lapping up the precum that had gathered before I pull away.

“You’ve got such a pretty cock, baby. Can’t believe nobody’s had you in their mouth yet,” I murmur, pausing to drag my tongue along the veiny underside of his erection. “Let me hear you, baby. Wanna know how much you like when I use my mouth on you.”

“Love it so much, oh God… Feels so warm and wet. Thank you so much, Miss. God, it feels perfect,” Spencer keens as I take him into my mouth again. Mumbled praises fall from his lips as I take him deeper, and the second my nose hits the soft skin of his belly, Spencer’s hand comes up and begins to tap incessantly on my shoulder.

“S-Stop! I-I’m close – Jesus Christ, I’m so fucking close and I really want to cum inside you, i-if that’s okay with you,” Spencer babbles, eyes wide and pleading. I smile up at him.

“Do you think you deserve to cum in my pussy?”

“H-Honestly, no, but I’m hoping you’ll let me anyways,” Spencer says, shooting me an adorably shy smile that has my heart doing somersaults in my chest. I let out a light laugh and shake my head, moving to straddle his lap.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Spence?” I murmur as I caress the side of his face with my hands. “This can stop right here, if you want it to.”

“Please, Miss. I want this. I want you,” Spencer reiterates, eyes shining and filled to the brim with adoration.

“Want you, too, baby. You can call me my name now, if you want,” I say as I place a gentle kiss on his lips. I move to pull away, but Spencer’s hand is quick to grasp the back of my neck and pull me back in.

While our lips move together, frenzied and desperate, I sneak a hand in between our bodies and grab Spencer’s cock. He gasps into my mouth as I drag his head in between my folds.

“I-I won’t last long,” Spencer chokes out, eyes trained on where I’m rubbing him against me. “I’ll try my b-best, but I’m sorry if I c-cum too fast.”

I sink down just enough that his head is the only thing inside me, watching as his face contorts beautifully as a result.

“Don’t worry about me, baby. Tonight’s all about you.”

With one last, chaste kiss to his lips, I slowly begin to lower myself down onto his length. The sound of our moans fill the room as Spencer clings desperately to me, hands finally finding purchase on my hips.

“Y/N, fuck, you feel so good,” Spencer whimpers as I begin to slowly rock against him. “I-I knew it would feel good, but oh my God. I-I can’t… I’m gonna cum, soon. M’so sorry.”

His admission prompts me to move faster, raising my hips until he’s almost completely out of me before I’m slamming back down.

“Spence, you feel so good. Such a good boy – my good boy.”

“Yes, yes, I’m all yours! Only yours, please!” Spencer whines. I lean forward, and the change of angle is enough for both of us to cry out.

“Are you gonna be a good boy and cum for me, Spence?” I murmur into his ear, biting lightly against his earlobe. “I want you to cum in me, baby. Don’t you want to be my good boy?” I punctuate my words by lightly wrapping my hand around this throat and squeezing, and that’s all it takes for Spencer to completely fall apart underneath me.

“Y/N - fuck!”

Spencer’s grip on my hips tightens as he bucks up into me, painting the inside of my pussy with his cum as he yells out strangled exclamations of my name. He presses his face into my shoulder as I ride him through his orgasm, whispering quiet thank yous and pressing open mouthed kisses to my skin as the euphoria floods through his body.

I place a kiss to his forehead before I crawl off of him, having every intention of getting up and procuring a wet washrag. But Spencer reaches out to grip my arm, and his eyes look so sad that I stop in my tracks.

“C-Can you stay? Please?”

The insecurity in his voice tugs at my heart.

“Of course, I’m staying. Was just gonna get a wet washrag for us. M’not gonna leave you, Spence,” I murmur. Spencer visibly untenses, but his grip on my arm doesn’t lessen.

“Could you just stay here a little bit longer?”

“Sure thing, baby,” I say, prompting Spencer’s lips to pull up into a pleased smile. I crawl back into the bed and lay on my back, and Spencer instantly plasters himself to my side. He hums contentedly as he wraps his arms around me, and I let out a light laugh when I catch him stealing glances at me.

“What is it, baby?”

A rosy blush spreads across his cheeks.

“Can I kiss you?”

After everything we just did, he still feels the need to ask permission to kiss me. What a sweet boy.

My answer comes in the form of me pressing my lips to his, and that’s how we stay until he pulls away.

“I have another question,” he says shyly.

“Lay it on me, baby.”

The blush on his cheeks gets significantly more pronounced.

“It’s just that, uh, you didn’t get to cum again. And I really want you to, because you took such good care of me,” Spencer pauses, and his fingertips lightly graze the inside of my thigh. “C-Could I please eat you out again?” Another pause, and he retracts his hand. “I-It’s okay if not. I understand if you just wanted this to be… a one-time thing. I guess I was just kind of hoping that it w-wouldn’t be. But that’s silly – you were just doing me a favor. I’m sorry I asked.”

Spencer cringes as he finishes speaking, not even giving me a chance to reply before he’s trying to pull away. I tighten my grip on his arm, and Spencer gives me a weary look.

“First of all, I don’t think I would ever say no to being eaten out – especially if you’re the one offering. Second, this is definitely not a one off. I have lots of plans for you, pretty boy,” I explain, and the relief that radiates off of Spencer is almost palpable.

“Thank God,” he sighs, and then he’s scooting down the bed and settling in between my legs.

And if the rest of the team notices the way Spencer starts following me around like a lost puppy - well, they’re all kind enough not to point it out.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #spencer reid #spencer x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #sub!spencer #dom!reader #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fanfic #smut #dom/sub #sub spence

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tardis-ghost-blog · 3 years ago

Text

A task to fail (Simm!Master x Reader)

Rating: E - For explicit sexual content Summary: "No. That's not another task." His hand stroked along your cheek and he smiled. "Just couldn't resist stealing a kiss from you."

Sometimes the Master brought a bunch of humans aboard the Valiant. It was fun to watch their various reactions, to walk around in front of them, grinning madly. Sometimes he let them look outside the window when he sew destruction, other times he told them horrifying stories about how they would die.

It was one of those times when you first entered the Valiant. The soldiers had captured you off the streets, had told that you had been chosen as a special guest for the prime minister. With you were two others. They all looked so scared. Sure, you had heard the stories, but they had never bothered you. Since the first day Saxon had appeared on telly, you had found him quite fascinating. There was just something about him that had always made you want to meet the guy.

This made you weirdly calm when he walked in, clad in a black suit, eyeing everyone with almost childish curiosity. After a minute he stood in front of everyone and grinned widely.

"Congratulations, humans!" he announced. "You have been proudly elected to become part of my staff up here. I'm afraid-" he put on a mocking put- "your predecessors have decided to quit the job."

You exchanged glances with the others and found even more fear in their eyes. Saxon clapped his hands to get your attention back.

"To make this more exciting, I will decide what your tasks will be. If you do them well, you might stay. If not... well. We will find an... arrangement." He let out a chuckle that simply sounded evil.

It was inappropriate, but the way he acted just got to you. You couldn't help but smile at this and Saxon saw it and trod directly in front of you.

"Is that funny?" he asked sweetly.

"You'll kill everyone who fails, won't you?" You hadn't really planned to say this, but you just had to know. "It's a game."

Maybe you shouldn't have sounded so excited about this. It also was your own life that was at risk.

"Oh, and you like games, little one?" Saxon bent slightly down to your eyelevel, which wasn't very high. "Are you begging to become my personal assistant?"

Wide eyed you glared at him. You wouldn't even make it a day! He would give you an impossible task and just smile this god-awful smile of his, that was far too charming.

Despite all of this... you nodded.

Saxon blinked surprised, then threw his head back and laughed.

You never learned what happened to the others and you never asked. Instead you focused on the given tasks and did you best to fulfil them properly. And, at the same time, tried to find out as much as possible about Saxon.

He made your life difficult, that's for sure. On your first few days he let you sort the library. First alphabetically, then, when he decided this was boring, he made you sort everything once again, this time by colours. So you arranged everything to form a bunch of quite pretty gradients.

Saxon stood there, one finger on his lips, head slightly tilted, nodding eventually. He gave you a happy grin. "That looks way better, don't you think? Well, I think it does. Good job."

There were other tasks. Tedious tasks that were meant to tire you, some that were like puzzles you needed to solve. But you wouldn't give up. He couldn't kill you, when he had no idea where you were. So, until you found a way to get or do what he wanted, you hid. Each time you came back successful, Saxon looked a little dumbfounded.

"Stubborn, aren't we?" he mumbled one day. Then a smirk spread on his lips. "How about you make me a cuppa tea? I could really use one."

Tea... That sounded weirdly normal and easy. He probably was extremely picky with how it was made.

"Mister Saxon, Sir," you said then. "How would you like the tea?"

He couldn't punish you for making it exactly how he ordered you to. And when he realized your intention, his eyes crinkled in joy. It made him look really handsome and you had a hard time not blushing.

In the end you made his tea to his exact liking. And you weren't sure whether he hated or adored you when he took the first sip. Whatever it was, it was followed by an amused chuckle. He gave you a smile and it made your heart jump.

"You really try to stay alive, eh?"

"Uhm... sure. I guess." You shrugged and couldn't help but smile a little. "But it's more fun to see how happy you look when I do something right."

That surprised him visibly. For a second something slipped and he looked almost lost, as if he had no idea what to make of this. You decided it was a good opportunity.

"I always thought you were an interesting man, Sir. I'm glad I could meet you."

Saxon arched a brow and took another sip. "You'll die here. You know that, don't you?" He waited for your nod. "It's fun to play with you. But sooner or later there will be a task you won't manage to complete." He cracked a crooked smile. "Almost a shame. I'm really having fun with you. You're not as stupid as the others."

"I had to fend for myself my entire life," you mumbled. And when he didn't stop you from talking, you dared to continue, "I... actually should thank you. Your soldiers killed my foster-dad. He used to beat me a lot. Because of him I never had any close friends and... no other family. There is nothing I could return to, anyway."

Saxon didn't say a word. However, from then on, he kept you around. To make him tea, to sort his files, to keep his office clean. But mostly, as it seemed, to learn more about you. He asked many questions and you never hesitated to answer. Because, in return, he gave answers of his own. And you learned so much. When he told you, one day, that he actually was an alien, you didn't have a hard time believing it.

"We look so alike, though," you said, eyeing him curiously.

"Oh, there are many differences." The Master - he had told you his real name - chuckled and reached for your hand to place it on his chest.

You blushed at the touch and your own heartbeat sped up, so it took you a few seconds to realize that his was somewhat strange. It was fascinating and made you smile.

He told you of the war, of how he had fought in it and then ran, how he had almost obsessively spent a lifetime doing literally nothing else, but to repair a rocket to a place that wasn't even real. And then he had landed here.

"Sounds like you didn't have a quiet minute since years," you muttered.

"Yah..." The Master sighed and leaned back on the sofa. Lately he was strangely tense around you, especially when you came too close. And still his eyes followed you everywhere, almost hungry. "No time to... rest." He growled to himself and closed his eyes.

"You're alright?" you asked and leaned down to him. "Want me to make more tea?"

The Master grinned with closed eyes. "No. But..." he paused and eyed you possessively, which sent a shiver down your spine. He shook his head. "You're fun. I quite like you, which is bad. That makes it really hard to break you."

"Why, thanks?" You laughed and poked his shoulder. "Come on. You've told me so much already. I don't think a little request would break me." You poked out your tongue. "I could manage all your stupid tasks. I'm sure I can manage to do one that actually means something to you."

"Yeah?" he giggled impishly, suddenly grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards him. It made you lose balance and you almost fell. But you could stretch out your hand in time, which landed right next to the Master's head. And your face came close to his. So close you could get lost in his hazel eyes.

"You know... Time Lords are usually above such things." His thumb stroked over your wrist. "But you make this difficult. And it's been such a long time. With the war and everything."

You had no idea if you should stay in this position or move away. He was so close you could feel his breath ghost over your lips. Your eyes met, his gaze was intense, demanding without words. In that moment you didn't care if it would bring you in trouble, the urge was too great. So you leaned forward, only a little, brushed his lips with yours. He sighed, lids falling shut.

And suddenly he grabbed your sides with both hands and pulled you right into his lap. Surprised you yelped, but he left you no time for confusion, his mouth found yours, devouring it in a fierce kiss. Your hands landed on his shirt collar, stroked along the cloth to do something. His tongue pressed against your lips, demanded entrance, which you gave willingly.

There was a soft groan from him that let warmth pool into your belly, but at the same time seemed to snap him out of everything. He broke the kiss, both of you panting heavily. His irises were almost black, his look mischievous.

"Whoops," he breathed out.

"Yeah." You chuckled softly. "Whoops." Then you remembered something and pulled away a little. "What about your wife?"

The Master huffed. "Political marriage. We never... were close in any way."

Slowly your fingers trailed down his chest, your hands came to rest above his hearts that still were beating wildly. It made you proud and giddy that you could do this to him, made you crave more. You moved in his lap, just enough to feel yourself gliding over the bulge in his pants. That made him groan again, but surprisingly he stopped you with his grip.

"No. That's not another task." His hand stroked along your cheek and he smiled. "Just couldn't resist stealing a kiss from you."

You giggled at that and gave him a tongue-touched grin. "Since when are you so reluctant?"

He returned the grin, connected your foreheads. "I like the thought of how I could make you feel, how I could make you scream my name. But it needs to be real. It's no fun otherwise."

"Is that so?" You leaned forwards and captured his lips again, rocking against his crotch in the same movement.

The Master groaned openly into your mouth, one of his hands snaked to the small of your back to press you closer. The kiss got wilder, his tongue doing things to you that made your head light. He swallowed your soft moans, while his finger glided along your shoulders, every touch sending goose bumps down your spine. You shivered when he traced a line down your back, when he caressed your bare skin and opened the clips of your bra.

"Sure about this?" he brought out.

His eyes were so hungry for you, it was hard to tell if he would really stop would you say 'no'. And still you had a feeling that he would. Which got you aroused even more. So, instead of an answer, you reached a hand between you and cupped his erection, stroking firmly over his pants. He gasped, eyes falling shut.

For a bit he let you tease him like that, then he grabbed the hem of your jumper and pulled it over your head, together with the opened bra. His skilled hands moved to your breasts, caressing them, thumbs stroking over your nipples, making them harden almost instantly.

Somehow your lips met again, tongues dancing sensually. It wasn't fair that he was still clothed, so you unbuttoned his dress shirt, happy he didn't wear a jacket right now. You wanted skin, wanted to feel him, and quick.

You weren't the only impatient one, however. Without a warning, the Master grabbed your bum and lifted you from him to drop you on your back on the sofa. His fingers slipped under the waistband of you jeans, eliciting a new groan from you, before he grabbed your feet to get rid of the shoes and then, finally pulled your jeans down, together with your soaked knickers.

His eyes roamed over your naked body, took in every detail with awe. You sat up then and unbuttoned his own pants, while he kicked off shoes and threw away the belt. Curiosity grew in you, making you wonder if Time Lords actually were... compatible with humans. It certainly had felt like it, and when you pulled down his pants you weren't disappointed.

"Like what you see?" he asked, wolfishly grinning.

"Oh, a lot."

"Then move aside, will you?"

You did, making space on the sofa, only to find yourself sitting in his lap again a second later. Feeling him skin to skin made your head even lighter than before. You started to move against him, then wrapped your hand around his erection to glide up and down his full length. Your thumb stroked over the tip, made him sigh out a moan. His fingers were on you clit at the same time, drawing circles that spiked your lust to new peeks. Oh, you wanted to have him inside you. You couldn't wait any longer. It was unbearable.

You groaned and kissed his half opened lips. "I need you. Want you."

"Say my name," he breathed against your mouth.

"Master." His name stumbled over your lips like a plea and you could almost hear his patience snap.

Both of you moved in unison. He straightened a little and you sat up on your knees so he could guide himself inside you. Slowly you let yourself down again, feeling every inch of him fill you out completely. You both groaned, stayed still for a moment to adjust and simply savour the intensity of the moment.

His hands on your bum urged you to move, pressed you flush against him. You had never done it in this position and regretted it now. The friction was just perfect, or maybe it was only because of the Master. You built up a rhythm, moved on him with delight. He, on the other hand, nibbled his way down your throat, leaving small marks on your skin here and there, while his hands were either on your bum or your breasts.

The tension in you rose quickly, almost too fast. You wanted to enjoy this, wanted to savour every second of it, so you slowed down a little. The Master grabbed your sides and guided your movements, his clouded eyes fixated on yours. Slowly you rose, let him almost slip out of you, before he pulled you back close, making you feel him glide inside you again. It was something you both enjoyed and repeated once more, panting.

The Master wouldn't allow you a third time, captured your lips and pulled you down on him, made you move again with impatience, breath ragged. He must be as close as you were and the thought sent a shiver through your whole body, made you move just a little faster until there was no turning back and you came with his name on your lips, clenching around him and groaning into his mouth, riding out the orgasm until you felt his grip on you tighten and until he had to break the kiss as his own release washed over him.

It took you a small eternity to find back to your senses. You heard the Master's rapid double heartbeat, felt his grip soften, but only for a moment. He then lifted you from him a little to slip out of you and lay down on the sofa. He brushed a strand of hair from your face, his look weirdly serene in that moment.

"How about we change our game a little?" he murmured. "If you fail a task I get to have you again."

You nestled against his chest and chuckled. "That's not fair. I'd have to fail on purpose, then."

"Mhm..." He smiled impishly. "Can't let a human win against me, after all."

"That's too bad. I'd get to win, no matter what." You glinted back at him, mirroring the mischief.

The Master scowled, mockingly pursed his lips, then captured yours in a sweet, short kiss. His fingers gently trailed along your spine, drew circles on your skin until your breath hitched.

"I think I still win this," he muttered.

#the master x reader #doctor who #fanfiction #Smut #The Master #reader insert #second person pov #simm!master

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