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#//she's barely ever had friends
theblacktiecacti · 5 months
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jay went to clown school. let’s talk about that
#art by me#jrwi riptide#jay ferin#i was drawing wherever the wind took me#and it took me to clown school jay#the best destination i could’ve hoped for#i feel like so much could be explored or expanded there in fanon#but i barely see anything#welp if there is none make some#sound off in the comments if you ever think about how jay rarely retracts into herself when faced with conflict#but instead goes to clown school or hitches a ride with the loserest boy she can find#and it’s the rare (and most impactful) moments when she responds differently#shutting down after the phone call with her grandmother#or blowing up after learning about lizzie and ava#or crying as she’s told to shoot her friend in the chest#but the every day conflict almost always gets humor as a response#which leads to very out of pocket moments but we love jay for it#oooooough jay ferin the way you express emotions is so important to meeeee#ALSO the fact that often it’s insult based humor or overly confident in self humor#let’s dissect that jay how do you relate to your friends in the hierarchical structure of the navy academy#did you feel like your humor had to subtly place you at the top? or you would not be enough? jay?#your relationship with kira hinges on fixing this structure by being better than it hm? let’s talk about that#let’s talk about how your life centered a lot around being the best even if not directly or intentionally#should i do a full analysis on this?#i kinda wanna do a full analysis on this#jrwi
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starry-bi-sky · 6 months
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more cfau miscellaneous things because Childhood Friends Danny and Jason have my head and heart always and I need to finish rewriting chapter two dammit (and redo the half-finished chapter 4 because its just Not The Vibes). i'm almost through I need to get through the graveyard scene. (i just stubbornly refuse to have it be shorter than the original chapter and thats the little death. that is the mind killer.)
Danny and jason’s ghost forms both smell faintly like burnt flesh and cigarettes. However, Jason has a more smokey smell while Danny’s smells almost,,, electrical? In a sense? Like he just straight up smells like burnt flesh and sulphur while Jason smells like someone put him in a smoker first.
It’s very much an unpleasant smell but Danny finds an odd comfort in it just as much as he finds a comfort in the smell of nicotine.
(Jason post-revival smells burnt flesh once and is immediately offput by the fact that it brings him an instinctive comfort. He doesn’t realize its because it reminds him of Danny, and is uncomfortable by it.)
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In an au of an au, Danny’s altercation with Rath ends with Rath regaining enough of his sanity to snap out of the grieving state and ends with him breaking down. Instead of being souped and imprisoned, Rath, who is permanently 14, decides to Move On into the unknown. He’s exhausted, heartbroken, and tired.
(Is this influenced heavily by the ParaNorman scene where he talks to Agatha and helps her move on? Yes. But it doesn’t fit with the Original Storyline so im shoving it into an Au of an Au.)
Rath tells Danny that Jason lied to them (which he genuinely believes), and that he’s tired of waiting/looking for him/grieving. Jason is gone. He isn’t coming back, he abandoned them. And he wants his mom and dad, and his sister, and his friends. And he’s ready to join them.
He leads Danny out to Gotham, which other than Amity Park might’ve been the only city left untouched due to Rath’s own mental block on the place. They go out to the park he and Jason used to frequent or up to one of crime alley’s rooftops, and there Rath lies down and goes to sleep. Only to never wake up again, materializing into nothing as his soul moves on.
Before Rath leaves, he forces Danny to promise him that he’ll only wait for Jason for ten years. After that if he doesn’t find him, or if Jason doesn’t show, then Danny has to move on. Whether that be like how Rath does, or if its inly mentally/emotionally, doesn’t matter. He has to move on. Don’t wait for him. Don’t waste his time any more.
(“Oh, and if you find him, kick his ass for me.”)
Danny reluctantly agrees, and Rath lies down. Danny sings to him as he falls asleep.
(Angsty points if the vigilantes including Red Hood caught wind of their presence and were silently watching from the shadows. Rath might know they’re there, but Danny’s too focused on Rath to notice.)
(If only so that Red Hood realizes that this is what happened to Danny, and that Danny is gone before he can make things right. The tragedy, folks. The angst. The initial realization that Danny was Rath, and then also that Danny was dead and has been dead for years, and that before he moved on, he moved on believing that Jason abandoned him.)
(like i said it doesn't fit in the original timeline/storyline hence why its an au of an au and isn't nearly a fleshed out, but i was largely just focusing on the tragedy of Rath moving on and Jason being alive to see it and realize just who Rath is.)
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Just like how the Lazarus pits shot Jason's twiggy 4'6-5'4 (depending on what you find) feet tall and 86lb ass up like a tree an essentially fixed his malnutrition, the portal did the same thing for Danny.
(granted i forgot about malnutrition and danny's likely stunted growth at first -- his family lived in crime alley and despite both his parents working, I don't think they had enough food all the time. He probably wasn't as badly malnourished as Jason was, but he wasn't healthy either.)
Granted his ghost in its "natural" state (14) is short, and his growth spurts were slow at first, it did result in him reaching his dad's height. There were points where it just happened overnight, like a baby. He went to bed one night 5’6 and woke up the next day 5’10.
Jazz is shorter than him. Although I have't decided if she's even liminal at all (and if she is, it didn't cure everything because she would have also suffered childhood malnutrition, and since in au canon their parents didn't get their hands on physical ectoplasm until after they got to Amity Park. So the exposure is less.)
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Danny's voice absolutely sounds like canon Dan's. It kinda just dropped one day when he was 16-17 and never went back up. Sam and Tucker sometimes ask him to just talk about anything because they find his voice soothing.
I'm not sure yet how Danny would feel about it at first considering Rath, but I imagine that Rath, when he did speak, would have had a quieter and scratchier/weaker voice considering he's spent the last decade shrieking and crying.
(and i suppose technically that shouldn't have any effect on his throat considering he's a ghost and idk if that would actually affect him, but i like the idea so im keeping it)
In the beginning you could hear him from a mile away by the sound of his loud, echoing wails, but ten years later you can only really hear him by the soft, shuddering sobs he makes. Like he's gasping for air that isn't there. The future is full of very quiet survivors.
And it's much easier to speak when you pitch your voice upwards (especially when whispering/speaking quietly) so he might've spoken in a higher, airy pitch in order to be heard. So Danny might actually find a comfort in having a lower voice.
#tw mentions of gore#cw gore#i suppose this counts as gore#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#dpxdc crossover#childhood friends au#cfau#really leaning into the idea of rath just being a horror. the horrors! i am delighted in the horrors!#im having fun with it#i swear to god turning 19 turned a switch on in my brain because i am much more comfortable with gore and heavy injury now than i was l#literally a year ago. the urge to write about some of danny's most horrific injuries in his fights is STRONG#like the hORRORS folks. *th horrors*. i dont think i'll ever write a dissection fic because that icks me out but the idea that danny's had#to stitch up his own throat because it got slit in a fight nd he cant shift back to human until he's done because his ghost will survive bu#his body wont#the idea that he's been impaled multiple times before and it hurts each fucking time but he still gets up and hurls the hurt right back in#equal measure. because that's how you wanna play? okay. lets play. he's 14 and his best friend is dead. he can play.#and the idea that all ghosts have 'corpse' forms where their ghosts look exactly like how they died. and danny is utterly unrecognizable#jazz being liminal or not just isnt important to me because she's barely gonna show up in the story anyways#same reason why i hardly use the headcanon that ellie becomes danny's daughter because what use is she to me like that? she'll hardly have#an impact on the story and i refuse to treat characters like props. if they can't help progress the story then they aren't included
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naturecalls111 · 1 year
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I think I love Sanji so extra much because he’d acknowledge my ‘girl-ness’ in a way that I feel like has not ever been acknowledged in a way I wanted it to be wails
The chivalry intended not with hopeful reciprocation but with admiration. WAILS.
#nc111 talks#like growing up the whole concept of ‘being one of the boys’ was so stupid to me#mostly because I had so many guy friends and I was not appreciative of their treatment of me at all#there were definitely times where I wanted to tell them like. hm. I wish you would respect my girlhood a bit more#I love being a woman. I really do#my girlhood is something I keep very close to me. I was very jealous of other girls in my school who exuded that type of femininity#speaking purely from personal experience - just to make that clear#but I like being and being associated with traits that are quite literally stereotypically aligned with Girl-ness#so hard to explain!! but at its core I just love chivalry though lol#one of my friends was like ugh no I’d never want a guy to hold a door open for me just because I’m a girl#‘I’d want them to hold it open because it’s just a kind thing to do’#and like. yes. core sentiment I totally agree with#but also I Do want to be acknowledged as a girl I spent all of my childhood and teen years having my Girl-ness barely recognised and#it sucked seing the disparity in the treatment#but it also sucked seeing the intent with which these guys treated women chivalrously#which is why Sanji appeals to me. his chivalry is not ill intended or manipulative. ever. and it acknowledges womanhood all the same#OK RAMBLINGGGG#lost the plot. point is I love Sanji because I see him do his little dance while giving Robin a dessert she never had to ask for and I sigh#WISH THAT WERE ME.#edit: none of this matters mostly because I don’t care to date men#but I suppose it’s like. even in my friendships with other girls I feel like there was an inherent establishment that ok so I act as the Guy#And She acts as the girl#when we go out their arms would wrap around mine#and mine never wrapped around theirs. does that make sense#hold their hand as they walked down the stairs in heels. helped them out of cars. you get the image#SANJI WOULD HOLD MY HAND OUT OF A CAR EVERY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love him#I’d never have to ask! ah. love chivalry.
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tricoufamily · 1 year
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a current day nils and a 90s college student nils who's way too intense about his internship walk into a bar
#hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii nils hiiii 💗🤭#let me get my important tags out of the way so i can write you a novella in the rest of them#ts4#ts4 cas#ts4 edit#the sims 4#nils#i've been exploring his character 🏃‍♂️#his full name is nils pelletier he's from canada originally he went to nyc for college and stayed there forever#he didn't grow up with much but he was really good at school so he got a scholarship and he was very very determined to become rich#he interned at frankie's dad's company and was offered a full time position after he graduated yayy you made it. i guess :| (evil company)#he's always been very stern very serious very quiet he's never had many if any friends. he was a deeply unhappy child#his parents weren't even bad they're nice and supportive and tried their best#he was married and has one son but he hasn't been married for a while. i don't know if it's divorce or death or what yet#it was the first girl he ever had a relationship with and he was also her first relationship#a very dull marriage but again not a bad one. she was nice and supportive and tried her best#it seemed like it was what they were supposed to do. get married and have a child bam done you did what was expected congrats#they barely ever even argued it was just. well loveless seems a harsh word. and 'well they were friends at least' seems untruthful#anyway he often has to be frankie's handler because frankie's dad is his boss and he does what he's told always#frankie's really difficult though
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dykeferatu · 6 months
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addicted to making characters with deep-seated loneliness no matter how much they refuse to admit it
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fluffypotatey · 1 year
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you ever think about how MK never gets a chance to really define himself?
#had this thought while driving home#like he barely even gets any chance to place some identity other than monkie kid and delivery boy bc he always gets interrupted#every villain has their own preconceived notion on who and what he is#Demon Bull family saw him as a ‘little thief’ and ‘noodle boy’#Spider Queen called him junior or something????#Macky even told MK that he is nothing w/o the staff. He also projected a lot of his anger with swk to MK bc he saw a lot of similarities#LBD did one better and shattered his own self worth by feeding into his insecurities and trying to mold him into her pawn (champion? will w#ever know what she wanted and why she wanted Mac to capture mk and swk???? what was their role that she wanted them to play???)#Azure even tries to assert his own perceptions on MK in the special and oh boy how he snaps back (🥰 so satisfying)#‘Oh there’s nothing mindless about me…friend’ <- one of the rare times MK puts his foot down when other try to assume what he is#I betchu s5 will focus on MK grappling with his identity bc we laid some foundations he is ok with acknowledging it#But actually processing what this meant for him? I have a guess that he wants to avoid that#And the ironic part is that swk (if he knew which I think so) is now the one trying to get MK to communicate his thoughts and feelings#It’s swk who warned MK about the dangers of hiding or avoiding huge issues like having a giant & powerful monkey form#bc swk has spent like the past 3 seasons doing the opposite of what he’s preaching to MK at the special (this is why i love him he’s trying#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk mk#lmk qi xiaotian#qi xiaotian
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hadesoftheladies · 5 months
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hate going for christian weddings sometimes because i always see the prettiest women with the ugliest men, the sermon is always some shit about wives being slaves (but not like bad slavery, mutual slavery except the husband is a benevolent master which makes it okay) and making babies for their husband, the music is always lame, the mc is always weird and obnoxious, and older women keep fucking asking me when it's gonna be my turn and never take no for an answer.
#mine#personal#brief storytime in the tags#one of my family friends got married and i was happy she was happy#her parents are like an aunt and uncle to me#i was happy to share that moment with them#we cried and laughed together#and my friends#their other daughters were on the line and looked gorgeous#it was just beautiful watching us all grow up in a way and move on to “the next” together#BUT#im a pastor's kid#and my dad loves weddings#he drinks them in whenever he can now especially because they make him happy and he's had to attend a lot more funerals this year#he's been burdened a lot by how many people he's had to bury and how many hospital visits he's had to do#so i was happy to see him happy too#it just all felt so bittersweet to me#because i know how badly my parents want this for me and for themselves#there was a daddy-daughters dance at some point and i could feel my dad beaming beside me watching that#and i was a little sad about it because i was like im never gonna give you that#this could be the best thing i could ever give you and i will never give you this#i can never kneel at an altar in front of a pastor and swallow that sermon#i would never marry a man in my generation#if i married a woman you and almost the entire tent filled with people that watched me grow up would not attend#my happiest day would be another funeral for you#it was worse because im kind of a small celebrity in this community because of my parents and their siblings who are politicians#so people i barely knew kept coming up and asking me when it would be my turn and how they so looked forward to the day#and i was like i love that we're a community here and i missed the pestering of aunts since i left church#but at the same time i was glad to remember why i left#there is no freedom to be myself at all with them because all they do is project their beliefs and ideas on me because that's what children
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calamitys-child · 1 month
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I'm being so serious rn if I ever talk about doing another fringe festival run in the next like 3 years at least send me to fucking therapy. It is a cry for help. This is bad for me.
#im over halfway at least. but fucking christ.#ive barely seen anyone i care about for weeks. im hardly sleeping. im in knee braces and im still in pain.#13 hours a day of people yelling at me. the busiest ive ever seen public transport. eating the most random sporadic shit.#no hobbies. very few friends or family. crying twice a day. i still havent been paid. binding!! binding 7am til midnight!!!! daily!!!!!#my whole body hurts im physically mentally emotionally exhausted im desperately lonely im not doing the things that make me feel fulfilled#when my loved ones are free im either working or passed out in pain and exhaustion#the boss is enabling all sorts of bullshit yet again#im not able to be a person anyone i care about deserves to know#and that makes me not want to know me either#that is at least when i have enough fractions of a spoon left to feel anything at all except upset or numb#i NEED this all to be over#my next free day is my sisters 21st birthday next month my fucking baby sister is turning 21 and i dont know what to get her#i dont have a brain im not being!! a person worth knowing!!!!#my gran fucking fell the other day she's hurt ive not visited her in ages bc of work and finance i want to see my wee gran i want#to buy her ice cream and tell her i love her#i had to clean up an old guy who smashed his face on the pavement today and im just putting That trauma off til at least mid September#my BEST FRIEND gets MARRIED next week#and i can barely think about it because im on empty#im on below empty#they deserve so much better from me#im out. im not doing this again. not like this.
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non-un-topo · 8 months
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Wondering if it's worth it to bind today and wear a literal pin with my literal pronouns if my supervisor and peers are going to misgender me all day
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steviescrystals · 4 months
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i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane
(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)
#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school#so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away#i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute#and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with#someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over#so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job#not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people#and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie#or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired#i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family#but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying#and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home#logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do#i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out#and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years#i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year#i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out#even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times#and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable#i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something#plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later#vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space#and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year#and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends#so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything#i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything#but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know#i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to#vent
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naturecalls111 · 1 year
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on liking girls
#comic#vent art#other fandoms#the fandom is my personal life LMAO#I had posted this on twitter and deleted it because it was vent art from back in like. Ohhh I forget. Must have been january#Like I had just had my birthday and I don't know what it was but something made me realise like#oh. I haven't come out to my parents#like it's Been a minute I probably should right#and my parents are like. the best in the world I say that with my whole chest#my sexuality is not something they would ever care about let alone judge me for#like they have so many gay friends OBJECTIVELY I KNOW THIS IS A NON ISSUE LOL#but I don't know. something about it DOES feel dangerous and I can barely come to terms with it#I hate the idea of making it a "thing'. does that make sense#i don't want it to be a “thing”#I don't want them to tell me they'll love me no matter what and that this doesn't change anything#I don't want to have to subject them to feel like I'm “opening up” and then Have to respond like that#I wish it felt like as natural of an integration as someone is being straight you know#i wish it was: i come home with the prettiest girl in the world (she is the prettiest because she is my girlfriend) and they're just like#“hi! so nice to meet you! lets sit for tea!”#and thats it no questions asked. my mom or dad wouldn't ask “why didnt you tell us?” does that make sense#This is why none of my highschool friends know either#i'll tell them if they ask but I don't want to make a performance of Telling Them#I don't. Owe them that#I don't owe anyone a heads up. I don't want to. I don't want to make it A Thing#It's a Me thing. I don't get why it has to be turned into a You thing.#also hi if you havent seen my face i look like That LOL
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grandmaestershibe · 10 days
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family picture
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lesbianphan · 9 months
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if I may be honest for a minute, this christmas is gonna be entirely weird to me (I already cried once) cause I basically have no family left (the ones I do don't spend time with me lol) and for the first time I can remember in life, I'm not making a christmas meal for my family and lots of desserts and doing my best to keep everyone entertained and even though it was super stressful, I already miss it. I'll be strong cause it's all that's left for me.
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lohstandfound · 3 months
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ignore this.
learning to shut up when i dont have anything new to say to the discussions my mutuals are having about the treatment of the female characters in this show and fandom
even though ive just gone ahead and rambled in the tags a bunch of bullshit
#lohst.txt#they're all so right#because this fandom has had problems since the beginning#its always about the boys#the fics and the art and everything#and the fact that a large portion of this fandom is obsessed with the squip. the ACTUAL villain. yet would wish a 16 year old girl death#yeah. chloe did some fucked up things. yeah. dywh is an awful situation that was not handled well#(because this show has awful writing. you guys have been saying that already and youre right)#but come on. y'all act like the other characters did nothing wrong#if the writers would have cared to put actual depth into these characters#i havent listened to the source material in. a while. and i never got around to watching any other boot other than two rivers#i dont know what im saying#it was so easy to join bmc rp servers because no one ever picked the girls#did that mean i was left out of the rps? mostly. yeah#i mean. those servers always had the same rich and jake so we'd team up#but the jeremy and michael would barely give room for anyone else to interact with them#i used to have some discussions with someone about the flaws of this show and how the girls are constantly ignored#(back when i had sort of dipped out of the fandom)#anyway im never one to get involved in discourse directly#i support my mutuals and reblog art and post my silly little fics#mostly because im always too tired to put a lot of thought into any in depth analysis#(even though i have alot of thoughts on chloe and fairytales. which has nothing to do with this whatsoever)#everyone else has said it so much better than what i can currently come up with rn#but the way that the girls get watered down to one personality trait (this includes madeline). and are always used as background characters#the way there was so much christine hate at one point because she got inn the way of boyf riends#i looked chloe up on pinterest the other day out of curiosity#and there was so much hate#everyone likes christine and brooke#theyre the nice girls#the ones that get watered down to innocent and naïve and the mum friend of the group
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theodore-lasso · 9 months
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So like certified bad day. My grandma died this morning and now I'm sick???? Bro come on
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mainfaggot · 7 months
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i ran into my ex ex crush on the elevator while rushing to my evening class and I didn't even get to say hi but I think she recognized me when we made eye contact
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